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goddamnitdazai · 3 years ago

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Doldrums | Dazai {AU}

The Tea House is the only clean place in all of the three outlying territories; the capital and castle are overflowing with gold. There's boredom in both places and freedom in neither. Dazai finds the only way to amuse himself and you're just curious enough to agree. {fic under the cut} [ao3 link] x [patreon]

The long reign of the king ended unexpectedly. Within the first few months of the king’s death, the prodigal heir to the throne was crowned the one-hundred-and-fifteen King of Tartalya. Despite what the royal family toted to the public the new king only resembled his father in strategical demeanor. The prince’s (now king) features were prominent and sharp whereas the previous king had cheeks still plump with baby fat and a wide smile. Prince Osamu never smiled; that was the rumor anyway.

Per Tartalya tradition the new king was married within the first month of his new position. His wife, the dutchess of a rich port territory, fawned over him endlessly. A polished depiction of what Tartalya’s queen should be. Sweet, humble, and above all else, proper. Tartalya’s prior king required indisputable perfection within his court and their partners. Any imperfections were snuffed out quicker than a strong wind extinguishes a candle. The ruthless king’s only heir was no exception to these strict expectations; a rumor from the high court states the prince’s wife was picked when they were both ten years old due to her bloodline, manners, and demeanor. Rumors from the high courts were often stretched and dissected until they resembled fables, but there was truth to some extent. That is what you were taught to believe anyway. Take the words of a man with as you would an ill-cooked gift; chew with conviction then spit it out when their back is turned. You were taught this of all rumors and of all men. Of the region claimed by Tarayla’s century-old monarch, only three territories have been allowed to rule without direct sanctions from the high court or prince. They are considered the dark outliers in both qualities of life and the quality of inhabitants. These three territories provide shelter for merchants coming to port looking to gamble and drink, criminals from other territories seeking asylum, and those who are not able to afford a single room within the cheapest region of Tartayla’s kingdom. Like many of the other inhabitants born in Valnnin, your mother chose to leave you at the Tea House under the care of the Ozaki clan the day after you’d turned five. She was paid a handsome fee and signed a contract never to return to the Tea House. Supposedly, many women bear children simply to drop them at the Tea House for the reward. That rumor was not hard to believe given the state of Valnnin. Decent money offered the means to escape Valnnin to the closest region in Tartayla, Soinet, where large farms sit on rolling green hills lush with purple fruit that grows plentiful on tall trees. Anyone who made it out of Valnnin stayed out; by starvation or success. A part of you hoped your mother starved. There are worse fates in Valnnin than the Ozaki’s Tea House, though. Bred with a sharp wit and long cherry-red hair the Ozaki clan were well known all over Tartayla for their refined charisma and elegant beauty. Some of these traits were able to be passed on to the right young men and women making the courtesans of the Tea House the highest priced commodity in all of the three territories. Top earners are allowed to live in the lavish rooms on the top floor of the Tea House. The Ozaki house, a four-tier traditional home lit with gold paper lanterns and endless vines wrapped over a cobblestone bridge, sits across the Tea House. The watchful guardian for the inhabitants of the Tea House. Other than becoming part of a legacy family in Valnnin, like the Ozaki, the best living was at the top of the Tea House. Residing in the middle, for now, was comfortable enough. “___, dear you’re staring.’ Kouyou tuts, whacking your knee with her lace fan. When her fan is fully spread the gold filigree becomes a long winding dragon sifting through the clouds. A well-known symbol of the Ozaki clan. The dragon is imprinted throughout the Tea House and stamped on the inside of each girl’s wrist in gold ink. Ownership and protection, that is what they preached while poking your skin with a hot needle. “Is that potted ivy really that intriguing? It must be with how rude you’re being during our conversation.” Her long manicured nail brushes over your nose to draw your attention. Her touch instantaneously forces your shoulders to go rigid as your eyes drop to your lap. Kouyou’s sharp nails bite at your jawline. “Don’t be rude to our company tonight. Understood?” You nod, wincing a bit at her grip. Kouyou-san only showed this type of intensity with newer girls in order to hammer in the traditions of the Tea House. You, however, had been here for fifteen long years and knew every twist and turn. Your familiarity had risen to the point that you and the other girls made wages on some of the staff’s mood based on an eyebrow quirk or tense knuckle. For the most part, you won each round. Kouyou-san did insist your looks and keen eye made for a high commodity, however, the blessings around your features were not as god-like as some of the girls. You were sure they came from a line of Queens and Goddesses long before humanity stomped over the grasslands. “Kouyou-san, I don’t understand why you won’t inform me who I am waiting for.” You shift uncomfortably in your silk robe. The pillow beneath your knees had become a hardened lump of clay that was sure to leave bruises. “Using the gold room is above my station.” “It is.” Kouyou agrees without an ounce of hesitation. If you were allowed to show your true emotions a dark frown laden with knitted brows would be reflecting back at Kouyou. Tea house manners forbade any type of backtalk, verbal or otherwise, toward the ladies of the house. It had been a long time since your feet had been whipped into a bloody mess due to your expressions. “You should be thankful a man of high caliber is interested in your company.” You exhale through your nose and adjust the pillow subtly just for something to grab and ease the tension rising up your spine. The golden room was incredibly expensive and reserved for foreign clientele or a man rich enough to buy the country twice over. What you could gather from the maids who set the room was scarcely what you could consider good information but their gossiping mouths let out that the changes were due to the man’s incredibly specific taste. Instead of immaculate gaudy golden candles, simple paper lanterns were hung in shades of red that bounced off the polished wood walls. The marble table had been replaced with a smaller traditional one stacked high with poker chips and two crystal glasses. A bottle of imported whisky more expensive than the entirety of Valnnin had been staring back at you for the better part of an hour. Jewels from all over the country were heaped into woven baskets spilling out their glittering gemstones of blues, pinks, reds, and purples. One stone looked as big as your palm. Within the baskets, bracelets, and necklaces sparkle and hang over the rim like a used handkerchief tossed in the garbage. Money can’t buy taste, you think to yourself, though you wouldn’t mind pocketing some of those jewels to sell later. Abruptly the double doors open and the lanterns are snuffed out. Above your head dangles an imported odd-shaped light with arms extending outwards holding each white candle as if it were trying to scorch the walls. Kouyou stands to greet the unknown guest. Gliding across the wooden floor as a swan crosses a lake. You remain perfectly poised. Long red dress stretching out your arms to pool against your thighs. The Tea House provided silk garments for expensive clients that showed skin without being over-zealous. A strong dip in the back revealing your spine for wandering fingers. Bare shoulders for teeth to graze and tease. Your lips had been painted deep red to accentuate a pout worthy of a diamond necklace. Beyond Kouyou’s tall stance you barely make out the rough edges of a man much taller than Kouyou. “Enjoy your time, sir. Please, let me know if I can do anything to be more accommodating.” Kouyou’s bow is deep and longer than usual. The man doesn’t bow back. The guards that had accompanied him to the golden room remain on the other side of the screen door once it’s closed, another uncommon occurrence. You get to your feet and walk towards the man in the same manner Kouyou did. You’d done this a hundred times. A thousand. Something high up, but there was an odd sensation growing in the pit of your stomach. Circling the pit of your belly like a serpent through the grass. “Good evening. Who do I have the pleasure of spending time with? I’m afraid my tongue has gone numb in excitement.” The man chuckles and takes a step forward; you take in his form with a simple blink. His hair is an unruly slue of dark browns overlapping each other held back by a deep ruby pin, an odd style but the capital tended to couple foreign fashion with traditional garments. The stranger is incredibly tall, thin, wearing traditional Tartayla clothing though the crest on his lapel doesn’t ring a bell. It did not mirror the crests members of the court wore nor the men stationed beneath them. Scribes, military, footmen, all members of the palace wore crests revealing their status to the world. A palace aid, even, would be able to afford the golden room for a night. “That’s a lie.” He takes another few steps towards you. Swift. His long legs easily bring him close enough for you to smell his cologne. Expensive and foreign. “I specifically told Ozaki not to speak my name. A clever way to ask without asking.” You blink rapidly but hold your ground, folding your hands politely in front of your thighs. His stare is honey lined with liquid gold. “As expected of a woman raised in the Tea House.” “I did not want to seem ill-prepared.” You finally answer, “It is uncommon to not know the name of my companion prior to meeting.” Nicknames--you roll through the most requested, but none of them fit. He bends a bit, you expect a hand on your cheek or your chin; he grips your throat. Contracting your airways with an eerily gentle touch. “You can address me as Dazai, nothing else.” His gaze remains ice cold. Something about the name bubbles up and up until your mouth unintentionally drops open just enough to let out a silent gasp. Prince Dazai. If he would let go of your chin you could bow to him but he anchors himself to the ground. “Ah, there it is. I can let go that you did not recognize me considering we let the territories exist as an extension. Not much royalty passing through here? What a scandal~”. He releases your jaw and walks over to the table in the center of the room. Out of instinct, you follow behind with your head bowed just slightly. What would the prince be doing here? You presumed when royal blood desired the flesh of someone else other than their betrothed they found it easily among the many women of the court. “Dazai, what is it you desire tonight?” Common phrases of your trade finally return once your tongue has melted off the shock. “Business.” He states, taking a seat on the plush pillows. “Come, and don’t speak unless I ask you a question.” Dazai pats his hand on his lap as he speaks. You follow his command and walk yourself to his lap. The scent of him is overwhelmingly pleasing in comparison to the other men that have requested this position. With your back against his chest, you can feel the ruffle of fabric on your bare skin from his vest, it’s an interesting sensation. You’d never felt this type of material before. “Now,” Dazai starts voice a rich smoky tenor, “you will come with me to the capital and sit just like this. You won’t speak, you won’t move, you won’t do a thing except look as you do now.” He drags his knuckles down your spine. “All you need to know is that. What lies in this room,” he lazily gestures to the jewels in the collapsing baskets, “will be your payment.” All you can do is nod dumbly. What the hell did he want you at the capital for? To be a lap ornament? What a strange request. You want to say no, to tell him you’re much more than a porcelain doll to play with. Your wit and charm has made you the favorite of so many men of his own court. Dazai presses his nose to the curve between your throat and shoulder. “You may ask one question but make it quick, I dislike having to ride home during the day.” Dazai gave you information without giving you detail. The bare-bones without an explanation or purpose, but he was the prince. You couldn’t pester him for more like your regulars who gave vague requests--of which you denied regardless of what it was. Taking a courtesan out of the Tea House was strictly forbidden. There was no amount that would interest the Ozaki women to allow their charges to leave the premises with a client. Every person had their price, though, it should have been obvious considering your line of work. “Am I to be a lap ornament for your entertainment or to prove a point to another person?” Dazai pauses his hand on your spine. For a moment your heart freezes--until he begins to laugh. Harmonious and cheerful, it almost sounds sweet but the tingle in your spine tells you otherwise. “Both,” Dazai places his hand on your thigh giving the soft flesh a tight squeeze, “but the latter. I don’t find very much of this world entertaining in the slightest.” Abruptly his teeth graze the shell of your ear as his hand wanders beneath your silk dress finding the edge of your hipbone. “This is just to waste time.” __________________________ Jealousy was not something prince Dazai experienced. However, the man across from you seemed to be dripping green with it. You vaguely recognized him, a court-appointed general from the land across the sea. The name escaped you, anytime he appeared at the Tea House for your attention his words sank to the bottom of your consciousness. His conversation was as dull and his hands were fat with sausage-like fingers that didn’t know how to properly undo the knots that held your dress together at the side. He never had enough money other than to converse for twenty minutes and stare at your nude body. Prior to the meeting, Dazai had walked you through the main courtyard filled lined with enormous evergreen trees and rose bushes taller than your shoulders. Members of the royal court bowed and held their tongues as you passed. Your clothing served as a clear indicator of your position in the Tea House. Dazai had made it a point to dress you in the most elegant outfit the Tea House allowed. Draped in gold and black with hints of deep scarlet beneath the split up your thigh. The palace was, unsurprisingly, massive in size and stature. Getting lost for hours within its corridors and monumental rooms seemed inevitable. Had Dazai let you wander from his side. “Do not speak or move without my permission.” His only warning punctuated with a sharp slap to your ass. While the meeting went on Dazai’s hands grew increasingly curious in tandem with his ever-rising boredom. Beneath the table, his fingers roamed between your legs never touching where you wanted. They drew teasing circles just outside your lower lips. Dug crescents into the meat of your inner thighs. The longer the meeting went on the higher his hands reached. Inside the deep cut of your dress to squeeze your breast while he spoke about the outcome of a fictional war the general had threatened, apparently. Something about trade prices rising. Anything happening beyond Dazai’s grip wasn’t sticking to your psyche. By the time the meeting was finished sweat was beading down the back of your neck. Your cheeks had grown hot to the touch and your clit was aching for touch. Dazai simply stood expecting you to catch yourself. “You will not be returning to the Tea House.” It was all he said before two guards escorted you down a long corridor lined with paintings of the royal bloodline. ___________________________________ The first time he fucked you the moon had appeared in splendor. Bright and bold against dark skies empty of stares and clouds. His wife had requested him to come to bed early. Her long dark hair falling in gentle curls illuminated by the candelabra she held in her fist. You watched from the corner of his study as Dazai used that talented tongue of his to herd her back to bed. Once the door was shut and locked with a metal key Dazai bent you over his desk and fucked you deep and slow. He left bite marks on your neck and laughed when you begged so pathetically to cum around his cock. At first, there was nothing inside him. No emotion to his touch and no passion beyond the carnal desire to fuck you when he needed release. His wife would often stare at you when you passed in the corridors trying to find some sort of entertainment. You had heard nothing of your position at the palace nor had anyone questioned your existence there. Dazai demanded you stay within his sights at all times and would punish you with hard slaps to your bare ass when you wandered too far. He was the softest after he left a red handprint on your behind. He’d cradle you in his arms and call you pretty things like a lover would. It only served to deepen your confusion in both your own feelings for him and what he wanted out of your existence in his life. _______________________________________ The queen’s illness came on rapidly and without a cause. She was pale with a fever and sickly looking. Her skin stretched over the bones of her face and her eyes looked glass. Nothing the doctors were doing had made a difference. She existed on her large bed surrounded by basins of water and broth, her ladies in waiting rotated washing her and feeding her the best they could. She couldn’t move on her own accord except to speak in a low muddled voice. Dazai did not visit her often. After a week she had been moved to her own room down two corridors and across from the King’s quarters. The bed was burned and the room scrubbed clean until it glistened. Dazai didn’t ask, he never did. When your room turned up empty you knew to find him in his quarters. His long legs propped up on the ottoman beside the window, fingers over his favorite book gifted by a friend long gone from this world. His touch had become gentle in the past few weeks. You presumed, at first, it was due to his grieving and perhaps guilt for the affair. Yet he did not change the frequency in which he kissed you, fucked you, held you against his chest for a few minutes before he eventually left the bed to finish whatever work he’d thrown across the floor when he grew too aggravated or bored. Nights he wanted to fall off the edge of the world he tied your hands to the bed and played with your body until sunrise. Dazai left his mark where he pleased. Nothing felt as good as his hands, his attention, his tongue. Rarely did he ever keep himself on top. No, he expected you to ride him. Make him cum while he watched you grow addicted to the feeling of his cock inside of you. ______________________ Dazai had to produce an heir, he said, one morning while you’d been eating breakfast at his side. His wife could not fulfill that duty while sick. You pause for a moment and set your glass down. Looking at him as the sun rises behind his head. “You know I can’t have children.” Part of the process of becoming part of the Tea House; everyone went through the procedure. “What do you plan to do?” Dazai wipes his mouth with a napkin. “What makes you believe I haven’t already finished what I planned to do?” He places his elbows on the table and folds his fingers beneath his chin. That same gaze from the day you met him in the golden room returning to douse you in something unsettling. You blink at him and lean back in your chair. “As long as the queen remains alive you are not able to marry another. You will be expected to wait to have a child with your wife when she is well again.” Dazai tilts his head. “I don’t want children.” He says nonchalantly. “Dazai..” What makes you believe I haven’t already finished what I planned to do? “Dazai.” His grin spreads wide, eyes darkening despite the light from the windows splashing halycon all over the room. “Eat up, _____. I’m growing bored.”

#dazai #dazai osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #dazai fanfic #my writing dazai #fantasy au #dazai au #bsd fanfic #dazai is kind of a dick #what a surprise #dazai one shot

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maxismatchccworld · 4 years ago

Photo

To keep it short. All wishes are under the cut.

You have a wish? Read here how to get it added.

ryttu3k

Thank you for doing this! I would love to see solar glass - the glass roofs from basegame, modded to act like the solar roof tiles from Eco Lifestyle.

Anonymous

I would love to see a mesh edit of the fireplace from EL, with the weird rocks replaced by the wood from the SE fireplaces! Bonus points if there's also a version without the weird box and shelf (so just the main fireplace body and chimney).

oi-matey

Hi there! First off, I love your blog and I think the Super Secret Simblr Wishlist is a really sweet idea! I’ve got a build mode submission for the wishlist that I’ve been looking for for a long time; I’d really love a wig stand with some hairstyles that can go on top if possible. I’ve seen it done by alpha creators but the only MM one I found, the download link no longer works and it broke my heart

fleurlibelle

Fantastic idea. Let's give it a shot! I would love to see if a creator could and would be able to create a maxis-match classic Ballet Workout Set. Including two simple Tutu's one classic short the other one long. A classic leotard, wrap top, wrap skirt, ankle leg warmers as well as a pair of thigh high ones. All in classic ballet colors black, white and pink. ;) Nothing fancy! If the creator wants some examples what I mean I could provide pics. But that would be so dope! ❤️

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'm half Filipino, but I hardly see any Filipino content in the Sims Community. I would love to own a Maxis Match Barong or Maria Clara dress for formal events in the game. I think it would be a great way to add more representation in the game, especially when I know there are a handful of PilAms and Pinoy players. Thanks for hearing me out, and thanks for all the work you do to make this games playable. I really enjoy all your hard work!

helmud

i love this idea! i’ve been wishing for a long, straight hair for male sims - like a conversion of CfHair LongStraight. thanks for reading n__n

Anonymous

#SSSWishlist hello! I would love if cc creators can consider making more patterns for Kimono/Yukata (traditional Japanese clothing). I find the in-game versions kinda bland, and there are not many floral Kimonos even though its commonly seen in Japanese festivals. Would appreciate if there's Japanese hairstyle cc with big flowerly accessory to pair with the Kimono too! Same for the male Yukatas, just not floral print maybe. If it's not too much, children's version is also appreciated!

Anonymous

#SSSWishlist Thank you so much for doing this! I've a small request for a mod that allows every destination (specifically the newer lots like Onsens and/or Rental lots) to be an option for dating location under "Ask XX on a Date"

Anonymous

For the SSS Wishlist, I would Love to see a set of three to four hairstyles, all with the same texture. Something like long hair down, a ponytail, and an updo, all with the same wavy or curly or straight texture, all with the same bangs or whatever. Just something that could be used to look like my sims change hairstyle now and them.

Anonymous

I would love to see some moth cc? Like wings and antennae? any colors are fine but I just think it'd be really cool!

sortofasimblr

#SSSWish: deco fidget toys like cubes and tangles (at4s has a great fidget spinner but there are so many more types out there)

t-aeddie

Sorry I wasn’t to sure where to put the hashtag #SSSWish or where to submit the wish.

My wish is to have more swatches for the snowboard and skis. If there could be more LED designs, interesting designs and the swatches for kids for T-E boards. It would be great.

The other wish would be to have more Kimono designs in Maxis Match and/or recolors with more patterns. There are so many patterns that I have seen while looking at real life kimonos and there are so many patterns, styles and colors that are missing in the game.

autumnmoon-sims

#SSSWish Hi! And thank you for this great and sweet idea! I wish for a special piece of CC: a long wavy ginger hair based on LoL's Miss Fortune character. I have a pic to send to show exactly what i wish for... It's my dream hair for my sims! Thank you again for this idea. That's super kind ^^

Anonymous

This seems like a fun idea! What I have been wanting for ages (like since TS2 era ages) is a hair style that completely covers one eye, like Violet at the start of The Incredibles. Most of the peekaboo bangs hairs I've seen are a little *too* stylish and I mostly just want one where someone is clearly trying to cover up half their face with it.

utanozomi

That sound like a great idea! It’d be great if someone was interested in a more fantasy/medieval recolor of joliebean’s after dark top. I really like it by most of the colors are very bright. #SSSWish

Anonymous

Hi! I never send asks so I hope this is the right way to do #SSSwishlist . I would be over the moon if someone could create the Zimmermann 'Carnaby Embroidered Bird Dress' in black. I've had my eye on it for such a long time but I'm too poor to commission it lol. Hope this is ok! :)

saphireeyes9875

Hello, not sure if I'm sending this the proper way, but I have a request for the SSSWish? So, there's still no ways of writing books off-grid that I know of, so I think a journal or typewriter or, I don't know, even a magical computer working on batteries would be great, I would just really love to write and publish books off-grid... Also, I think this is a very sweet idea, and thank you for this chance to make requests!

Anonymous

I would love to see snowy escape kotatsu recolors ! #SSSWish

Anonymous

I love this wishlist idea! I'd like to see the Miles Edgeworth suit by Lunar Eclipse on MTS for Sims 2 converted for Sims 4 very much.

unitedkingdomofsimsland

I would love to see more horse poses with tack. Severinka’s horses are beautiful but it drives me crazy, posing sims on horseback with the illusion of tack (bridles, saddles, etc) I would love to see some Severinka shaped tack be made. Poses would be a bonus!

lunarhobbits

SSSWishlist: cc hair inspired by marlo thomas' iconic hair from the 1966-71 tv show That Girl. or really any cc of her wardrobe on that show

vexingcosmos

#SSSWish I would love the more door from GF without the windows and maybe in a few more neutral swatches.

simsmores

The Simblr Wishlist is such a sweet idea, thank you for this! I would love to see a cc hair based on Osamu Dazai’s from Bungou Stray Dogs! It’s such a pretty hair and I think it would translate perfectly into The Sims ♡

Anonymous

#SSSWish This is an amazing idea! I'd love to see some powerpuff cc, like HIM's dress or Mojo's hat. There are lots of dresses and hairs for the girls (and the rowdyruffs) but I can't find anything that really fits with the other characters. Thank you!!

Anonymous

For the wishlist, any sort of Sailor Scouts themed stuff! Not like stuff from the show but stuff that a fan would have!

Anonymous

#SSSWish - I would love to see a someone put together clothing that accurately reflects the Starfleet uniforms seen on the television shows, "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (collar version), "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" (colored shoulders) or the later movie uniforms (grey shoulders w/ colored undershirt). I've seen people asking for these uniforms for quite some time now, and I think, if done well, they could be a popular download. A separate chest combadge accessory would be nice too.

Anonymous

#ssswish this is such an amazing and fun idea! I’d love to see some cut pixie hair cuts (especially with an undercut)!

zoragraves

Hey there, that #SSSWish thing is a super cool idea! I do have a wish too - I would love to see the EL utility jumpsuit converted for male framed sims. It can be unlocked by creating an override and unchecking the frame restrictions in S4S, but then the body changes to a female frame. So if anybody out there could do that properly, I'd be extremely grateful :3

Anonymous

#SSSWish i've been looking all over for a version of a torc to use in my historical plays-- it's an old celtic type of necklace, made of iron, sort of twisted into a collar around the neck... i've seen sims 3 versions of one floating around, so if someone would even be so kind as to convert one of those to the sims 4 i would be so happy!!!

Anonymous

#SSSWish I would love to see any kind of MM D&D adventurer type clothing. Literally anything like top, pants, accessories, shoes. There is so much of it in alpha but so rare in MM. <3

Anonymous

#SSSWish Thank you for this awesome idea that brings the community closer during these not so good times :) I wish someone could separate the skirt from the Snowy Escape school uniform and make it stand-alone !

Anonymous

#SSSWish id love to see some tanline cc?

Anonymous

Hello im a jennifer lopez fan, and i was wondering if someone could make cc clothes (like a dress, two piece suit or whatever) with her iconic jungle print pattern?? Like in green swatch and red swatch and maybe plain black / white?? Hope it's not too much to ask! #SSSwish

ashenspectre

Hi, for the SSSWishList I would love it if someone were to either convert or create a more dainty engagement ring type ring for the masculine frame, kind of like the rings glitterberrysims has made for feminine frames, like her pearl antique ring for example. I’ve always wanted more pretty and delicate rings for my male sims but i can never find any that truly work with the masculine frame without most of the ring being absorbed by their fingers lol

leshaybean

Super secret simblr wish! This is such a cool idea. I've been looking for Some haircuts with a mix of curly/wavy- epically mid-length ones. Also A decades challenge- appropriate camera. It feels a bit weird to have my sims whip out there cells to take a picture- I mean I did all this work to make you look like your in the 1910s and now THIS? Sorry for my rant lol. Thank you if anyone actually does any of these!

an0nymousghost

requesting some recolors of the toddler sp clothing! specifically that butterfly top hehe

Anonymous

I love the idea of the SSSWishlist! I can never find a counter/island set that matches the wood tones of ATS4's Irish Pub bar, I'd be so happy to have some.

assimblyrequired

I'd love to see more high-waisted, 1950's style clothes like circle skirts for SSSWish!

Anonymous

I hope someone can make a small mod that allows sims to browse for baby names on the computer. And maybe they could gain moodlets from it, like "I love these names" or "All these are terrible names for a baby"? #SSSwishlist

myheartsimblr

I’d really like to see some more MM earrings that feature multiple earrings. Maybe with some mix and match or something, I only know some basic like ringlets that have several so I’d really like some different kinds.

Anonymous

#ssswish I would love to see Fire Emblem: Three Houses inspired CC, primarily hairstyles! There are some really unique looks in that game and it would be great to have something a little different to give our Sims.

Anonymous

Hi! I'd love to add to the #SSSWish for any cc creator to maybe make a few more frames for our ingame photos, maybe some frames where we can put more than one photo like the Moschino frame, I love having a wall full of photos of my household but there aren't many options. Thanks for having this adorable idea!

Anonymous

For the #SSSWish I'd love to see some eyebrow piercings that look like small naturally growing horns/spikes, kind of like the spikes the Zygerrians in Star Wars have but over the eyebrow rather than on the chin/forehead. Been looking for CC like that and just haven't been able to find any yet, so would be really thankful if anyone could make it.

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd love to see anything women's wrestling related. Hairs, poses, attires, a small wrestling lot or merchandise. It'd be fun to see what people come up with.

Anonymous

SSSWish - I would love to see some feminine cc made for the masculine frame! For example skirts, dresses, blouses and make up:)

Anonymous

HI! I'd love to see a heterochromia skin detail/tattoo of WildlyMiniatureSandwich's little sad eyes! They're my favorite! I'd do it myself but it comes out a mess. I'd prefer it in the acne skin detail or dimple skin detail if possible!

wishmaker

1. A new Maxis Match sofa or sectional set with a high backrest that people could actually lean on huhu. (or at least a recolor of RAVASHEEN’s Sofa, So Good Sectional.) 2. A Maxis Match version of Wondymoon’s Titanium tall wardrobe with mirrors attached to it. This is my dream wardrobe.

Anonymous

#SSSWish I really would like some more basic clothes for toddlers

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd like more modest wedding dresses where the arms are covered.

ShyLilPlatypus

I’m not sure that I have done this right and I hope I have. If not, I am very sorry. First off, I love this blog and thank you for doing this. I would really like it if someone did a MM hair for Lisbeth Salander (the style from the Rooney Mara version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo). I think that it would be a super cool piece of CC! Thank you so much again for doing this! Happy holidays!

classically-atomic

I am always looking for more kids/toddler CC. and would love if there was something similar to the 7785 pattern by simplicity! This pattern is from the 1970’s.

Here is a link to the pattern i have in mind!

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b4/77/65/b4776583d8f20a28fda5f508f924111f.jpg

mandarinklyftor

I wish for a lightning scar for my sim, like lightning hit on his neck and left a Lichtenberg figure

Anonymous

#SSSWish Hi! Something I would really like in my game is little mannequins with unfinished/already finished clothes on it (kind of like if your sim was working on making clothes for themselves and wanted to put it around their workshop)

Anonymous

#SSSWish I would love to see super glamorous toddler/child cc. Kind of like if they were a part of a super rich and famous family and had to go to a gala or something.

sparkleweedthesimblr

#SSSWish -- I would absolutely die for some D&D build/buy items. For example: dice clutter, DM screens, maybe even a map? I'm not sure how intensive that kind of thing would be. TIA!!

Anonymous

I would really like some more island living inspired cc! Or poses with two women, a toddler, and a baby (newborn, older, whatevs). Either or is absolutely okay!

silverliening

#SSSWishlist i know i already saw some people here ask for more yukata/kimono swatches here and i would like the say i really do think we need them (not just for the adults but the younger ages too, id like for the toddlers kimono not to have the hifu? vest as well but that sounds more complicated).

BUT for my wish i would like to see some proper tabi socks in the game, for all ages + genders, and also for the geta sandals to be made available for children and toddlers. Im not sure how difficult that would be for the tabi + geta but i think they would be a good to have since the kids always get left behind.

simtrospective

AF to CF Conversion

Hello. Wishing for a conversion of this dress…

…from AF to CF. Here is the link to the original. There is already a Toddler version, too!

Thank you!

simtrospective

1950s Style Hair(s) For Men

Wishing for some 1950s style hair for male sims, not as exaggerated as typical sims style. I’ve included four examples. What you choose to make (if anything) is creator’s choice. Thank you!

Anonymous

I was wondering if anybody could make a structured corset top that has a v shaped lower torso, kinda like the ones you would see on tiktok? and if possible, maybe a tonya harding inspired ponytail with the puffy bangs? thank you!!!

Anonymous

I saw a request for feminine cc for masculine frames so I'm going to ask the opposite, so uhh feminine frame suits. I do not like seeing the crunchy chest from the base game suits. 😂

thormurielsev

I would love anything dark academia for the chillier months- maybe a turtleneck sweater with a pinafore or plaid dress on top, or a blazer/sweater combo, etc. Obviously these are just ideas, but I think it would be so nice to see more of this kind of thing in custom content!

Thanks for reading (’:

Yasmin

I’d like someone to make a few generic maxis match tattoos, any styles but that looks more comicish than the ones I see around, that even claim to be MM. EA gave us very few choices and they don’t exactly go together (like using the ones from IL with BG ones just don’t quite work). Thanks in advance if someone picks out. ♥

inkydoc

Hello there! this idea is amazing, thank you :3 my request for the #SSSWish would be some cute cat and/or mouse ears for human sims that are not on a hairband or part of a hair. I’m thinking a hat or an earring accessory thing that goes on top of the sim’s head anime catgirl style :D I hope it’s not too much to ask :)

Anonymous

Hey there! Could somebody make some more long male hairstyles, like 80s rocker type ones? One of my favorite sims is supposed to be like an 80s rocker dude, and I have a really hard time finding hair for him. Long mullets would be welcome, and long rocker hair would be welcome too. Thanks!

mrpinksalmon

#SSSWish A dress similar to this would be so beautiful and versatile :) I also think it would go really well with the new snowy escape aesthetic. If its possible I think it would look best with the same back, but a plain/simple front instead of the collar and detail shown on the front in the image. Merry Christmas!!!

saphireeyes9875

So, there's still no ways of writing books off-grid that I know of, so I think a journal or typewriter or, I don't know, even a magical computer working on batteries would be great, I would just really love to write and publish books off-grid... Also, I think this is a very sweet idea, and thank you for this chance to make requests!

Anonymous

Hi SSSWishlist! Burberry CC! Skirts, scarves anything! For adults or kids or even pets, just all things Burberry!

jade-basicity

Maxis Match Sweater Vest Acc/Top Inspired by House of Sunny's Suburban Knit

or anything kind of close/inspired by House of Sunny (maybe the Hockney dress/landscape knit?) bc I cannot afford it on my own, so putting it on my sims would be a sense of wish fulfilment. However, just in general, a maxis match accessory sweater vest

Anonymous

Hello :) I hope a CC creator can make it happen. I would love to see some maxis match eyelashes that are laptop friendly. I know pikypikachu already has created it but the final product it's not my cup of tea. I just want more designs if possible.

deskhole

Hi! Thanks for hosting the SSSWishlist! My wish is a little vague, but I'd really like to see some feminine clothing tailored specifically to the male frame. I know there aren't hard limits on what sims can wear most of the time, but I just wanna see some catering to gnc/trans sims! 🧡

Anonymous

I'd love to see more decorative kawaii plushies to put around my sim's room! The only ones I can ever find are for toddlers so I'd love to see some non-function ones that just look cute!

Peachy

My wish would be for a recolor of https://www.patreon.com/posts/marcia-by-40546842 this hair in a peachy pink color for my sim self! Thanks so much!

luckiselki

More dance mods that aren't just poses. :D

ultranightmarecake

I’d really like some ballet outfits for children through ya. A leotard with a simple wrap chiffon skirt in various colorways would be amazing!

calenmirielsiannodel

I’d really really love a set of witcher school medallions - the versions from the games, not the series.

simtrospective

US-Style Military Uniforms

HI. Hoping for the US military dress uniforms incl. hats, maybe based around the StrangerVille dress uniforms. Since it’s MM anyway, I’m not looking for anything elaborate or “patriotic” just something to evoke the Navy and Marines, esp., primarily for storytelling purposes. If anyone has concerns this would not be used to depict or celebrate war nor as a political statement, etc.

Anonymous

My Super Secret Wish is a mod, or even a tweak of an existing mod, that stops toddlers from shying away from hugs they ask for during the “Check Toddler” interaction. It is *so* irritating to see a toddler respond to a❓with a ❤️ and open arms then step back, often with a 💔, and push the adult away. I’ve tried to stop it with MCCC but no luck.

Anonymous

One of my favorite parts of the game is creating a restaurant or a vet clinic, but the employees are impossible to keep satisfied and they all eventually quit. It would be nice if there was a way to keep them permanently satisfied, or at least make it easier. There is a mod for this but it is extremely outdated and doesn't work anymore. If anyone could update it or make a new one that would be great! 😁

onlythewatcher

I would LOVE for someone to edit the Get Famous button down female 3 quarter sleeve shirt with headphones around the neck and remove the headphones and ID badge. I don’t make CC so maybe this is too big an ask?

therudemustbeeaten

Edits of the eco lifestyle windows without those chunks of metal. i know it’s been done, but the version that i’ve saw online has a weird shadow. :(

Anonymous

Hey, it's about the #SSSWishlist , i don't know if it's possible but a mod that makes cats and dogs stop meowing and barking would be nice beceause i like using the kalino animals for exemple but the barking and meowing ruin the immersion. Thank you in advance if someone is doing it ^^

clairetoile

Hello, thanks you for this good idea.

I would like a mod that allows to rent a house instead of buying it.

It will be great if is not just for vacation or students in University.

Thanks

Anonymous

#SSS Wish: I don't think I've seen much hanfu sims4 cc so it would be cool if someone can make some! ziseviolet is a tumblr with a lot of hanfu designs and could serve as a great resource.

redruby0321

Hi there! Thanks for doing this, it’s a wonderful idea!! I was hoping someone could create an edit of the Snowy Escape female shirt with the turtle neck underneath and open/unbuttoned shirt, here is a link. If they could make it so that the turtle neck and shirt can be different colours, like having the turtle neck have an option under accessories to change colours that overrides the original turtleneck’s colour would be amazing! Maybe they could throw in more colours and designs, like 90’s or plaid, that would be perfect

Thank you so much!

anonymoussimblr

I would love to see more CAS stuff with simlish logos/writing! T-shirts (especially with the moschino tee mesh), sweaters, sweatpants, accessories… anything you’d like as long as you keep it simlish. Maybe even make more Harnocks stuff with the Henry Puffer logos that MLys released?

Anonymous

For the SSWishlist, could I request some more clean and chic looking booths? I absolutely adore putting in booths as many places as possible in my builds, but I don't come across much CC using it. Some bench like booths for lil cafes would be ideal <3

Anonymous

#SSSWish I know it's very specific for a wish, but I hope someone can manage to create a long silk nightgown or wrap dress, with an orange stylized koi fish pattern on a light green background. I can't find the tile (at storytiles) I've seen it on, but it was just so gorgeous.. I wish I had one irl.

Anonymous

#SSSWish I hope I'm not the only one, but I wish for some more clothes for my elder sims, cozy-looking grandma & grandpa clothes.

Anonymous

#SSSWish it's such a good idea, thank you! I really wish for a high waisted A-line skirt, with only une button placed on the side, with denim and coloured w polka dots swatches <3

Anonymous

#SSSWishlist I would love Padme's lake dress from Episode II of Star Wars, it's so flowy and beautiful and it would be so pretty to see in game!

Anonymous

how about more enby clothing, hairstyles??? we lacking

Anonymous

Dear #SSSWishlist, I think we need more hairstyles for alternative boys, specially more dyed short hairs, or at least masculine dyed hairstyles. I think our eboys, soft boys, scene boys and all the rest are lacking soooooo much... :(

mudkipsonice

#SSSWish- Rings that work for guys that also aren't super bulky. Most I'm finding are huge or don't work on guys at all/well. Thank you❤

k8ecatt

modthesims.inforecolors for plasticbox's functional tea pot

hi! I love this little tea pot, but I’d love to have it in a variety of more vibrant recolors, including pink, aqua and yellow <3 thank you!

Anonymous

#SSSWishlist I like to give my aliens sims that space suit (that came with gtw?) in all their outfits but I would like more variation. I haven't found any recolours or different style space suits that match the in game ones so I would really like if someone made some. Thank you!

Anonymous

#SSSWish Recolors of CrypticSim's Maddy Palette eyeshadow!

Anonymous

#SSSW: So you know how some creators of CC hairs include an accessory with multiple swatches to better match the outfits you put your Sims in? I'd love to have an overlay like that for EA hair accessories too. No particular hairs in mind, I'd be happy with anything that comes up. If any creator decides to do this-- thank you so much!!

Anonymous

#SSSWish i would love a version of the snowy escape masc frame snowboarders sweater (the first swatch is red white and black with some text on it) that works for femme frames - i am dying to put my femme frame sims in it but the distortion around the neck ruins it for me T.T thank youu!!

Anonymous

#SSSWish - My wish is for any kind of run-down, beat-up, grungy, punky, build/buy items. Wallpapers/floors, items, anything! Everything I find is alpha, and having it in MM would be *chef's kiss*. Thank you in advance, so so so so much!

oswanily

Hi ! There is quite a few things I’d like, but I narrowed it down to three “small” things:

- An accessory top with a high neckline and no sleeves - just to hide cleavage - maybe with some lace at the edge ? and several grey and pastel colors please.

- Some accessory prints for shirts, like those tukete has, maybe some aimed at kids and toddlers too ?

- Makeup for kids. Some people let their kids wear makeup in real life, but adult cc makeup don’t look right on kids, so if anyone is interested in trying… I’d like eye-shadow and lipstick, with some discreet options (but you can go all out too of course).

There you go, thanks everyone and happy holidays !!! 😊💕

Anonymous

#SSSWish (I think this is where I request things??) A high waisted conversion of those base game rose jeans. They’re super pretty, but I never use them bc of how low riding they are 😭

negasim

I would be eternally grateful if a posemaker could make a CAS pose very similar to Shai Hulud’s ‘Profound Hatred of Man’ artwork (image link below), only with the hands further apart on the chest. I’ve had an edit in mind for ages but haven’t found a pose that looks even remotely similar to that. Thanks in advance if anyone decides to grant this wish! https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61HuYY-zJBL._SX342_QL70_ML2_.jpg

greatsuperwoman

Hello! I found your blog a while ago and fell head over heels in love with it, so let me say thank you for all this wonderful hard work you do! For my wish I would love anything maxis match Attack on Titan but if I could only have one thing it would be a maxis match version of Levi Ackerman's hair since we have nothing like that in game. Thanks in advance, and happy holidays!

Anonymous

I would love some recolours of the Nifty Knitting knittable Cable Knit Rug. It’s one of my favourites but the colour swatches in-game are limited. Thanks a whole bunch.

divinus-erus

I really want a pair of a-bit-over-the-ankle boots that are slightly open around the leg with a relatively thick, medium length heel. Much like the ones Korean female idols wear during their performances. I have searched everywhere but haven't found a pair that look right. Glittery ones would be perfect but I can easily recolor them myself. Thank you! 😊

nie-moj-cyrk-nie-moje-malpy

My #SSSWish would be a wedding veil that is not in the hat accessory section! I’d love to be able to have my sims wear eg a flower crown and a veil at the same time; but with the beocreations veils (which are the best ones I’ve found) you can’t do that because they are part of the same category. Thank you!

Anonymous

Now that Snowy Escape is out, I'd love to see some Japanese street fashion, hair styles, and accessories! There is a fair amount of stuff out there, but it's almost all alpha, unfortunately #SSSWish

mortallythoughtfulballoongirl

Thanks for doing this, I really hope for more Lolita styles clothes / clockpunk oufits that are maxis matches and even more male fantasy outfits!

badlyplayedtrumpet

Love this blog and this idea! I'd like to submit a request for a set of cool-neutral eyeshadows, opaque, matte, covering the top lid. I wear this daily IRL and haven't quite found a dupe :)

Anonymous

#SSSWishlist - Oh hello! I hope I'm doing this right!! I would just be tickled pink if someone was able to make a MM picture of the Stanley Cup. I have a hard time finding any hockey CC and I would just be over the moon if someone was able to do this. Thank you! Best wishes! Happy holidays! <3

haylamonster

Hello! i’m not sure if its just my game bugging but the male child tiny living hair is broken and i don’t know where to start on fixing it. i tried to find a fix online but found nothing. in my game the hairline for that hair is so bad and its unfortunate cause it used to be my fav child hair. if someone that mods or makes cc could fix it or make a default replacement, i would forever be grateful.

Anonymous

This is such a nice idea, thanks for thinking of it! I really love the toddler bed that came with Eco Living and would love it if it were made into a single bed for children, preferably separated. Thank you!

usemagnetsgetlizards

Well then, may i bring in a #SSSWish of a very odd hairstyle... A high, side ponytail, with messy bangs if possible? Just one of those weird things i can do in real life, but seems near impossible ingame! Thanks to anyone who even considers making it, because i feel it's kind of an absurd idea in the first place.

TDae

I would love to see some creative and cool alien CC, specially genetics CC. <3 Thanks for doing this.

Anonymous

Hey!!! I have a #SSSWISH!!!! so is it possible for anyone to make more floor futons for sleeping? especially for toddlers? they really should have come with snowy escape!

kaiwrysims

#SSSWish I love to take family photos of my sims to put up around the house but I hate that I have to add a random sim to my household to take the picture. My wish is for a mod that allows you to select a sim that's in a pose and make them take a picture without having to come out of their pose and go to the camera. I would be forever grateful for whoever manages to pull this off!

Anonymous

#SSSWish thank you for doing this! I'd love to see some recolours of the tiny living rug, w different patterns too

Anonymous

#SSSWish I really need some simmer make this true: "Feminine" clothes for males. Dresses, skirts, make ups... I dont really care. I just dont want to skip the "masculine" label in the CAS to put them some cool clothes that doesnt fit good enough. Also, the clothes that are done for women, to do swatches for all genders. That would be amazing, thanks for this.

Anonymous

#SSSWish. First of all, thanks for all you work, this idea is brilliant. Second thing, I've been searching for Suits inspired in Harry Styles x Gucci like fancies with flower and all, and most important, FOR WOMEN. I will be really pleased if this idea comes to reality. Thanks!

Anonymous

Hello, I'm from Spain and I think we have a super rich culture so, maybe a Spanish simmer (or worlwide) would be please to do some Flamenca dresses, os something related tu Andalusian Aesthetic. Thank u! I love ur content #SSSWish.

catu11us

Hi, first of all I love this idea and your blog! 💕 my request is an override for one (or more) of the super ugly City Living blouses - I haven’t seen one and they’re just the worst haha.

Anonymous

Could someone make a mod that gives all base game and DLC showers the option to chose "sing in the shower" like the City Living shower has already? Thanks so much!! #SSSWish

Anonymous

i do the wishlist thing here, right? i guess the thing i'd want the most in the game is ferrets, but that's probably very unlikely haha. the next thing would probably be more trait slots. there are mods that let you add traits in-game, but i'd like to just have that option in CAS, yknow? anyway, cheers, have a good one #SSSWish

strawberries-n-sims

Hi!! this is a long shot but i was hoping someone could make the bb missed opportunity #39? It’s a little stuffed puppy with a sweater and I’m distraught it wasn’t included in nifty knitting. Thank you!! <3

thesimmingowl

Hi!

I have a wish which is very specific, but I’d be so happy to see it done. I would really love to see Ransom’s coat with a scarf from Knives Out recreated in sims (it’s this one, I’m not sure on how to add the picture here: https://www.pinterest.ru/pin/76350156171255013/). I really hope someone will like this idea. And thanks for creating such an amazing event!!!

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd love to have pandasamacc's rocking horse retextured (and recolored if possible) so they'd look more maxis match!

Anonymous

#SSSWish I's like to see a wall art that is just a handle bar on an angle so you could out it in stairway walls. Metal colors, black and white and light, medium and dark woods.

fiftymilehighclub

What I would really like is just something cute for boys! Toddler or child is fine, but little boys get so little love in the community – it can be a hairstyle, an outfit, some bedding recolors with trucks and animals and such, even just a set of a few ‘boys getting into trouble’ poses. The sky is the limit!

Anonymous

Hello! This #SSSWish is such a fun idea~ Personally, I'd love if someone updated the Plantsims mods that have broken over the numerous updates. Like, G1G2's Revamped Plantsims, Triplis' Plantsim Interactions, and Simonch8's No Cooldown & Trait mods. I've always loved Plantsims since Sims 2 & 3 days, but my knowledge of modding (and especially updating mods) is near nonexistent, so I can't do this myself. It would be awesome if someone could do it so the community could enjoy Plantsims again~!

Anonymous

#ssswish i use both alpha and maxis match but im lacking on maxis match clothes that are really my style, is it possible for anyone to make like some really trendy tik tok clothes????

maybetaryn

#SSSWish I'd love to see a subtle body blush in the skin details section that also tints lips slightly! 🥰 I feel like body blushes really makes the sims look more alive but they're so difficult to find in maxis match!

featheredphantom

#SSSWish My wish is deco objects, anything from paintings to plushies, of Kirby the Nintendo character. I’m trying to make a Sim home for me and my sisters, one of whom adores Kirby, but I can find almost nothing Kirby-related. Other characters from the franchise such as Waddle Dee would be great too.

Danielle

Anything The Outer Worlds related would be cool! The characters outfits, hair, traits, furniture, really just anything lol

Anonymous

I wish for weerbesu to add an option to UI Cheats mod to right click on a collection in the collectables tab to complete it. #SSSWish

Anonymous

#ssswish more like victorian cc for the decades challenge for categories that are neglected like kid, toddlers, swimwear, cold weather, etc.

berthagh

#ssswish i would really love if someone could convert the snowy escape kids outfit with the blouse and pants to adult.

ladyfausta

I would serious love if someone could make a flipped version of the Luxury Party Rectangles Bracelet for the right wrist! (It's the one that looks like staggered bars wrapped around the wrist and reminds me of a gauntlet.) #SSSWish.

Anonymous

#ssswish i have 2 wishes if that is ok. first, i was hoping someone could make some nature prints like the framed botanical prints from cottage garden stuff, but with butterflies? or fruit/veg, birds, other bugs, anything really. my second wish is for someone to make a windsor style rocking chair out of the cats and dogs bench, if that is possible. i know that brazenlotus made an armchair from the bench if that helps?

fcc56

I’d like to se a no-jealousy lot trait. A no-jealousy club perk would be nice too.

Thanks!

6666sims

i’d love to see some demonia trinity’s or thigh high chunky platforms!

Anon

#SSSWISH HAIR for MALE

How about an Elvis pompadour style or similar male hair that are short on top but longer in the back (not slickback long like Get Famous, just not tapered or shaved)?? :)

Alessia

SSSWish

Hello! Thanks for this beautiful and sweet initiative! I have 2 requests: 1- Shop/selling/store cc that is a real maxis match. I’d like store furniture, packaging and proper showcases for selling goods, or clothes, or food that really match maxis content (think about a herbalist store, tech store or a country fashion store)

2- Start thinking about translate mods: I am an italian simmer and i really love how maxis turned the game in my language…it’s sooo funny!! they did such a great work and I really would like to see some awesome mods in other languages. I offer my help with italian translation to everyone!!

willoweesim

#SSSWish I will love a messy up bun without bangs ! ❤️ and a full body kawaii tattoos in colors, balck and with too 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Thanks!! Hope someone will be interested!!

Anonymous

#SSSWish I am a major occult fan and would absolutely die for new functional cc wands for my RoM Witches! I have heard they are hard to make but I figured I would see if anyone was willing to try.

Anonymous

I would love some cc for Journey to Batuu. I know most people hate the pack, but I'm a Star Wars fan so I love it. I would love some recolours of the clothes or some new Star Wars themed clothes that could be worn in Batuu. Thank you :)

Anonymous

Hello! It would be amazing if someone can update GrayCurse's Sims RANDOM TRAIT & ASPIRATION MOD or make something similar. #SSSWish

kissalopa

Hi! This is probably not a small ask, but can someone please update teanmoon's Darker Loading Screen Mod V2 wich includes darker launcher, loading screen and world selection screen. #SSSWish

Anonymous

#SSSWish Hello! I would really love it if a talented someone was able to make a Twilight werewolf shoulder tattoo ^^ Thank you!

Anonymous

I really love the new kotatsu table, and while not surprised, I was disappointed to find out that toddlers couldn't use it. It got me thinking, what if someone could make a floor cushion that functioned as a high chair? #SSSWish

Emily

Matching unisex high school sports (jersey/shorts) uniforms for teens. Can maybe use red & white spa day shirt as base for shirt?

katanubis

#ssswish This is such a lovely idea! There are so many fun wishes! What I’d like to have (and I think would also be useful for other Simmers) is a wedding themed recolor of the “large pile of presents.” I usually put one of those piles in my wedding venue so that the bride and groom can “open presents” together. But the colors that are on the original are not what you usually see on presents at weddings. (I usually opt for the one that is mostly purple, since purple and lavender are my favorite colors.) What I’d like to have are recolors in white, white/gold, and white/silver. Maybe some white/pastels (especially lavender, pink and blue. The white/pastel recolors would also be nice for having a party that you call a “baby shower” especially if yellow and light green were also available. That kind of party isn’t in the game, but it should be!)

Anonymous

#SSSWish... Floor tiles that match the sidewalks!

lisa-sims4-simblr

#ssswish I love this idea and I appreciate you coordinating it! I would like to submit a wish please. I would like to ask if someone can convert the geta sandals from Snowy Escape to toddler and children please. Thank you to those who attempt it!

Anonymous

i LOVE THE IDEA OF A HOLIDAYS THEMED WISHLIST. I think it be nice to have a kids/nursery cc pack, with a toddler bed wivh look like a crib.

Anonymous

I would ❤️ love ❤️ a messy bun/pony tail with roots/compatible with a roots accessory; I’m obsessed with grown out hair 🙈

Anonymous

#SSSWish Hi! this is a great idea and i'd love to make a wish - i've been looking for a preset of full lips for male sims, specifically for Black male sims, that dont have that little bow in the middle of the top lip, if that makes sense! i've seen many of that sort for women, or for more 'white' looking sims, but never quite for black men! thank you and happy holidays!

Anonymous

#SSSWish I would really like it if someone could convert the floor-length dressing gown from Vintage Glamour for masculine frames!

in-wonderment-of-winter

Hi, hope I’m doing this right! I was hoping for something Ori and the Blind Forest/Will of the Wisps themed, something to get over how the games completely broke my heart. Maybe some plushies of some of the game’s characters I can put into rooms? I’d be fine with whatever, this is just a really cool thing you’re doing! <3

Anonymous

could someone make a short wall height version of the curtains from cats and dogs please?

Anonymous

I'd love to see anything based on Native American culture(s). Representation would be nice 💖 Thank you!

Anonymous

For the #SSSWishlist, I really just want to see someone recreate Geordi La Forge’s VISOR from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I think it’d look great and we can never have enough futuristic (and nerdy) cc!

Anonymous

I don’t see the #SSSwish I submitted on your public list (I forgot to use the hashtag before) so I’m submitting it again. I would love to see a mod, or tweak of an existing mod, that stops toddlers from pulling away from a hug after they asked for one in response to a Check Toddler. The toddler will hold up its arms with a ❤️ in the speech bubble then step back and refuse the hug, and the relationship takes a hit. I tried MCCC’s tuner to stop it but it didn’t work.

aestian

i would love some…chinese cc haha! With snowy escape there’s more build items that can be used, I’ve noticed there tends to be a lot of Japanese inspired cc even before that pack, but not a lot of things from other parts of Asia, especially ancient cultures or cultural items like instruments (decor), clothing, furniture (lohan beds), etc. I’ve gone looking but most of what I’ve found is locked behind chinese-only forums and is usually alpha…I just think it would be cool to see some mm stuff from other places esp as fandoms get more globalized

Anonymous

#SSSWish oh, please, i really want to see the "EA-faces replacement" that random townies get.. i'm from the sims 2 community and it's very strange to me that you put up with THESE faces.. ;; i want them (faces) to be more.."beautiful"?.. so yeah, it's my wish. i hope it's ok?

thereddreadedbaroness

hi! #SSSWISH for a Carmen Sandiego (the 2019 netflix version) triangle choker? would love to see it in form!

arsenicandtealeaves

#SSSWish I would love a down hairstyle using the same textures as either the rainbow ponytail from Get Famous or the rainbow top knot from Snowy Escape.

unasyns

I just want a maxis match ragnarok loki’s hair

hellohellohello124

#SSSWish

Just the Snowy escape bangs as accessories.

currentlyquang

For #SSSwishlist, I would love to see someone recreating the Ikea’s Odger Chair in Maxis Match style, as it is one of my favorite chairs and it’s a shame that it’s not available in virtual form yet!

fiavenice

#SSSWish 🤗Thank you for implementing this idea, I'd been hoping that someone would do something like this for a long time. I wonder, would anyone like to try their hand at making a maxis match feather boa or a fur wrap around? They would be perfect for classy elderly (or sims in general).

macthekat82

I would love to see a conversion of the "Rustic stool" from Jungle Adventure from arm chair to dining chair.

I have a historical save, where I would love to use this.

Anonymous

#SSSwish I don't know if you're still taking these, but I really want a neck tattoo of feathery wings wrapping around the neck like a choker. That sounds specific but any style is really okay. Neck tattoos are so difficult to make!

Anonymous

Hi all i have in my sims4 wish list it more traditions for holidays! specially if they’re could be some snowy escape holiday traditions like visit a shrine or go skiing or something. really any new gameplay mods i love thank you all for your beautiful hard work #SSSWish

Leeds

#SSSWishlist it would be really awesome to see a creator make a maxis match version of Urban Outfitters’ Joaquin sofa and armchair set, I think those look fantastic and will make a great addition to the game

Anonymous

#SSSWish: CC inspired in violet evergarden (anime) like Violet Evergarden or Luculia Marlborough hairstyles or even some of the clothes used on the anime. Merry Christmas!

cidira

#SSSWish I’d love to see a TS4 conversion of an old fave or two from TS2 – the tennis dress that came with the Apartment Life EP and the women’s nerdy cute sweater vest over untucked blouse from FreeTime (just the top preferred over the full outfit with the skirt) are the things I’ve been missing most, but anyone who wants to convert clothes from either of those two EPs or H&M stuff will make me super excited, they all had a lot of nice things.

pxmens

This is an absolutely fantastic idea! I haven't been able to look around lately but I noticed that most rings/hand accessories aren't compatible with SkinDetail eyelashes. My wish is exactly hand accessories, specifically wedding rings, which don't conflict with SkinDetail eyelashes. It may be helpful to know that plumbobteasociety managed it in their RRS pack. Lastly, you guys rock!

Anonymous

#SSSWish If anyone is also interested, maxis match recolors of the folowing would be awesome!: Peace Maker's rockers with canvas seating like the Bamba rocker and Ddaeng Sims' Contemporary Pergola

jorwayblacknight

For the SSSW, as a disabled simmer, I would like to see either a trait if possible or even just some CAS or Build/Buy items that are for disabled sims so I can that aspect into my save.

Anonymous

#SSSWish: I think it would be amazing if someone converted some of the YA-elder clothes from the sims 3 store ragtime in the big easy set (especially the vieux carre and big band swing dresses). Thanks :)

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd like to see a deco pair of crutches that lean against the wall, if someone wants to make them :)

caelestisims

#SSSWish, Hello thank you for doing this! I would love to see more school uniforms. Particularly K-drama style uniform tops that have variations, such as blazers and the types of ties ( e.g. ribbons, bows, regular ties, loose ties, no ties etc. ), cardigans, vests, half-zips, blouses, button downs and crewnecks ( just some examples ) for sims that like to show off their own style at school, despite the uniform.

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd love to see some riding pants ( jodhpurs ) and competition blazers for my equestrian sims.

Anonymous

#SSSWish: hey ho! my wish isn't all too specific but it would be awesome to see more maxis match historic or traditional clothing from all over the world (although preferably asia - varrying from everywhere) as well as build objects. please, remember, asia does not only consist of the east. thank you for your time!

dollybonamy

Hiii thank you for doing this! Here are my two wishes:

1) This curly Rey hair from the lovely Shellanin on Twitter

2) A maxismatch bow necklace where it’s like a choker with a big bow at the back of the neck….Think Marie’s bow from Aristocats, but for humans!

Anonymous

#SSSWish a lip overlay or face overlay with specular mapping?

Anonymous

I would love to see a lobster claws accessory for hands made from Larry the lobster mascot from the Discover University Pack. Similar to HIM from the Powerpuff Girls.#SSSWish

just-ennie

Hi, I know this may be a super longshot because the venn diagram for the average simmer and this particular thing is probably two circles, but… it would be kind of neat for someone to make some MMA-styled gloves, for example here:

https://www.combatsports.com/combat-sports-traditional-mma-fight-gloves-1.html

and here

https://www.combatsports.com/combat-sports-mma-amateur-competition-gloves-1.html

Anonymous

#SSSWish I'd really like a hair based on Ardyn Izunia from Final Fantasy ❤️

Anonymous

#SSSWish i would love to see the tray from tiny living separated :) also i just want to say thank you for coming up with this secret santa!

Anonymous

#SSSWish, I would like more Star Wars cc, especially if it’s for Padme, Anakin, or Obi-Wan!!

Anonymous

Hello! Thank you for doing this! Something I am wishing for this year is a mm edit of a hair with a different colored underlayer (kinda like simpliciaty-cc's salem hair). I would love to have something like that in the game! #SSSWish

beckyh2112

#SSSWish: Deco books with Simlish covers. Please and thank you if someone fulfills this. ^_^

pxmens

I have another #SSSWish (if you don't mind). I don't know if it already exists but a mod which adds more family relationship options to CAS or the Sim menu. Like grandparents, cousins, step- and half-siblings, step-parents, etc. It would be easier instead of having to create additional Sims just to create diverse relationships.

Anonymous

#SSSWish Hi this is such an amazing idea! I would love a skintone set in s4simomo's V2 hair palette.

bloodluvingirl

I would love to see some more truly alien clothing options for the aliens, the males especially. I sometimes like to dress mine up in complete different outfits for their alien and disguise forms. When I want to give there alien form a totally authentic feel, but a different outfit in every category, I have so much trouble dressing up the males. So some new alien options would be wonderful.

Anonymous

#SSSWish Ballerina outfits/clothes. SOOOOOO many ballerina poses but I can't find a lot of black swan type ballerina dresses (tutu dresses or skirts).

Anonymous

#SSSWish - Pet based holiday traditions would be wonderful! 'Take dog for walk', 'Adopt a pet', 'Brush your pet' for something like a 'national dog/cat day' :0c

Anonymous

I would love to have the "Easy Machine from Fred's PC Hut" computer from TS3 for Sims 4.

Anonymous

#SSSWish - hello! i would like to wish for a mod/fuctional lot trait which makes live in restaurants possible without the need of an additional lot. just everything packed into a single lot like littlemssam's live in business mod. that would be absolutely fantastic. best regards!

joltiklover

I wish for a formal dresses that looks good on plus size sims.

Anonymous

dear #ssswish i'm hoping for a family inspired poses. Maybe something like two parents, 1 or 2 children and a toddler. i'm unable to post links sadly, but if you look up @moonlitmjn on pinterest they've got a board called 'pose inspiration' that has a lot of inspiration for poses. happy holidays!

honeyedflapjacks

#SSSWish It would be amazing to see either teen/university age clutter items: open book stacks, piles of highlighters, simlish monster drinks, boxes of cheese-its that fell over cause you fell asleep at your desk…

dreamylunette

Hello, I’ve found so many talented builders in this community (sadly not including myself) and I’m really wishing for a 30x20 lot to go on the island in Windenburg that’s sorta a tiny house cottage (?)… one to two bedrooms would be awesome, I’m personally okay with both cc usage and cc free builds. Thank u so very much in advance (:

cloudifinds

#SSSWish i would love to see the little toy that’s on the eco lifestyle toddler beds as a stand-alone item :~) thank you for making this opportunity possible btw! happy holidays !!

addieboo98

Hi! Could someone please make more long messy male hairstyles, preferably curly or wavy? Think rocker/grunge styles. Its for my favorite sim and I would really appreciate it! Thank you in advance and I can’t wait to see what you come up with

Anonymous

Can somebody make some maxis match dreads for male sims? I see a lot of shaved sides for men or female dreads with clips and baby hairs, but I would love for some regular full head male dreads not too short and not to long!! #SSSWish

pyxie-peach

Ok so I hope this is the right place to ask my request on the wishlist? I read all the instructions and here but I couldn't find anything specific... I'm sorry if I'm too dumb... so what I want is a conversion of this from TS2 to TS4 modthesims. info/ download. php?t=324116 it is a window... thank you!

#SSSWishlist #s4cc

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drangues · 4 years ago

Text

Point of No Return (Raised Together AU)

Dazai Osamu is twelve years old when he commits his first real crime.

In the future, he will rarely remember crimes of this magnitude, regardless of how bloody or brutal they will end up being- In the end, they all blur together, and when asked, he’d say he couldn’t care more about one or the other. Which man died screaming over what isn’t something that affects him.

(In the far future, he will rarely remember crimes of this magnitude, though not for lack of trying, and not for lack of regret.)

But this crime- His first crime- Will always, always stick with him.

(This crime, even in the far future, is one he feels no true regret over.)

He remembers that it began with blood.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Nakajima Atsushi has been gone for twenty-two hours, thirty-four minutes, and seventeen seconds by the time Dazai decides that he needs to figure out where the Headmaster has taken his closest- And only, if he’s being honest- Friend.

(Yes, he had been keeping track of the time.

Yes, he has not learned That Man’s name. He refuses to.)

It was, admittedly, a very risky decision on his part- After all, if he was caught after hours, looking for the Headmaster’s favorite unfavorite child, it wouldn’t be him that would get punished. He learned, after the first few times he tried to intervene, about how That Man seemed to enjoy punishing Atsushi for “corrupting” the other children.

(He remembers when he realized. The stench of burnt flesh still feels like it clings to him, and the echos of Atsushi’s screams ring in his ears when he’s alone.

Dazai has found that all he can do for him is be well once they see each other again. Someone needs to clean his wounds.)

Nonetheless, finding Atsushi was a risk he had to take- Punishments normally took half of this time at most, provided it wasn’t a full moon (Look into that, he reminds himself, why then- But no, no, not important-). That it was taking this long over something so stupid was… Concerning.

He slips out of his room.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It doesn’t take Dazai much longer to figure out where That Man has placed Atsushi, though getting there is another matter entirely- The orphanage is a big place, after all, and if he gives away what he’s trying to do, it could make things worse.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to find any keys once he gets there- Dazai has long become used to picking locks, and the ones at the orphanage are hardly new.

The basement door creaks as it swings open, and he holds his breath for what must be a minute while he waits and sees if anyone heard.

Nothing.

He sneaks down the stairs.

(It was what he found at the bottom that broke him.)

xxx——xxx——xxx

The first thing he notices is that Atsushi is curled up in the center of the room, shaking like a leaf and either entirely unaware of his presence or too terrified to care.

The second is the small, dark puddle under Atsushi’s tiny body.

It smells like rusted iron.

He wastes no time at all in going to his side, and the dull noises of his feet hitting the floor don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to worry about their caretakers hearing him down here.

(God knows they’d complain about having to hear the screams.)

“Atsushi,” he does his best to keep too much emotion out of his voice, because that isn’t what he needs, right now. “Atsushi, are you- Can you-“

He chokes back the obvious questions of ‘Are you okay’ or ‘Can you stand’ because the obvious answer is no, but he needs to say something-

“Atsushi, can you see me right now?”

It takes a frightening few moments for the silver haired boy to even register his words, and another few moments for him to respond, but when the glaze recedes from his eyes, just a bit, and he nods, Dazai sighs in relief.

“Good. That’s- That’s good,” he swallowed. “Can you- Talk?”

Another pause, and Atsushi coughs, voice weak, but-

“Ye-es. Yes, I can- I can talk, Osamu-san.”

He sounds like he’s been screaming.

“Sorry for taking so… So long-“

“It’s fine, it isn’t your fault, don’t apologize- Here, I’ll help you up-“

Atsushi freezes, grip going tight, and his mouth opens to respond, but Dazai is already lifting him up, and-

There’s a pained, hazy whine, and Dazai freezes. Looks down.

Ah.

Why didn’t I look more closely?

Dazai has found the source of the blood, it seems- It seeps from a clearly painful wound on Atsushi’s foot, reopened from its attempts to close thanks to Dazai’s efforts.

Not that it could close.

It’s been nailed to the ground, after all. And the nail hasn’t been removed.

He stares, eyes blank. Tremors run up and down Atsushi’s body, and he realizes, belatedly, that he’s still holding him.

Very, very gently, he sets him down, doing his best to be mindful of his foot.

He stares again.

They’d nailed his foot his-

They’d shoved and nail to it and just-

They’d-

Dazai thinks, somewhat morbidly, that the nail makes Atsushi’s foot look even smaller than it is.

It probably went through bone.

It must’ve hurt so much.

There’s so much blood-

He blinks, feeling sluggish and hazy. Atsushi. Right. He needs to- He needs to make sure he’s okay. He needs to get the nail out.

There’s a hammer, not too far away. Just out of Atsushi’s reach, actually.

Dazai picks it up, noting, distantly, that there’s blood on the head.

He thinks he knows what this was for.

Luckily, the hammer can be used to remove the nails. Dazai doesn’t know if he could do it with his fingers.

“I’m going-“ his voice sounds hoarse. He clears his throat. “I’m going to try to… Remove the nail. Okay, Atsushi?”

He gets a blank stare in response.

“Atsushi?”

The boy jumps this time, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He nods, though, hands shaking.

It’s silent, and Dazai doesn’t know why he can’t move his body.

“They. He. He tried to make me- To make me h-hammer it in myse-“ Atsushi chokes on his own words, shaky violently, now. “I c-couldn’t- The hammer- I-“

“It’s okay.”

Dazai’s own voice sounds hollow, to his ears. Atsushi looks up at him, tears trailing down his face, eyes wide.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

He kneels down, movements careful, and slots the hammer over the nail, doing his best to ignore how firmly it settles against Atsushi’s skin.

That Man really drove it in-

Hands tighten on his shoulders, and before he can think too deeply about anything, he pulls the hammer up and away from Atsushi’s foot.

Then he throws it, as hard as he can, to the other side if the basement.

Dazai doesn’t remember being this angry before.

“It’s okay,” he says again, voice dull. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay-“

Atsushi cries.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Atsushi liked to tell him about the books he read, in the quiet of the library, as he hid from the other children, or even the adults. He talked about fantasies of children escaping their tormentors, of candy houses in the woods, about true love born and raised at midnight.

(“Osamu-san,” he’d wondered aloud one night, rain pounding at their thin walls as the cold seeped into their bones, “Osamu-san, wouldn’t it be nice if that was us?”

It’s a foolish notion, Dazai knows it is, but he’s never been one to keep Atsushi from the things that keep him alive and close by, selfish as that may be.

“It would be, he’d replied, “Maybe it could be, one day.”

Atsushi had giggled, then, the sound muffled by his hands and the cold and the pain weeping through their bodies like mud.

It was a nice sound.)

He talked, sometimes, about the characters being mad. He’d mentioned that sometimes, they were so mad they saw red, so angry that they couldn’t control themselves.

So furious they couldn’t think straight.

Dazai is not seeing red. He is perfectly in control, and he is, most definitely, thinking straight.

He considers, for a moment, if this makes him a monster, for what he’s about to do next.

No, he thinks. No.

It doesn’t.

Because a monster is shaped like a grown man with an awful haircut who takes and takes and hurts and hurts, who targets the only goddamn person in the world that Dazai cares about.

A monster uses a god-shaped hole to justify his actions.

And a monster is going to be dead by day’s end, because Dazai is going to kill it.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It isn’t as easy as simply up and leaving Atsushi to do the deed, however- His friend is in no condition to stay with him while he does what he has to do.

Even now, Dazai can see the small tremors running up and down his body, and choked, raspy wheezes pull their way from his throat. The aftershocks of his crying fit, no doubt.

He purses his lips, tucking the smaller boy under his chin as he thought.

Perhaps… He could leave him down here? Not permanently, of course- They’d need to escape- But sound didn’t travel well between the basement and the main house, so he wouldn’t have to hear anything.

The key would be making sure he didn’t have to look at the source of his trauma when he was alone.

Dazai hummed under his breath, eyes mapping out what he could see in the darkness- There was a cage, at the far back, but there were manacles there, and he doesn’t fancy having Atsushi wait for him inside of iron bars, so that’s a no. The corner to the left of the cage is also out, because that’s where he’d thrown the hammer and nail. Definitely not the center of the room, because there was still a blood puddle there…

His eyes fell on the right corner, right behind the rickety stairs that led into the basement.

It was dark, so he doesn’t think Atsushi would be forced to see the rest of the area, even if he turned around. It’s positioning meant that it would hide him from any adults who came down the stairs to investigate, though Dazai hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Definitely not perfect, but it would have to do.

“Atsushi,” he murmured. His voice was still dull, and he winced. “Atsushi, I’m going to move us, alright?”

There wasn’t a verbal response, but he felt the boy nod his head as much as he could, with it still tucked under Dazai’s chin. He took that for consent and, after a moment to brace them both, he lifted him halfway off the ground, keeping a careful arm around his waist so he didn’t fall.

(As much as Dazai would love to simply carry him, the orphanage hardly feeds them enough for him to be able to. He’d just exhaust himself, and he couldn’t be tired.

Not now.)

Once they’d moved, Dazai took great care in positioning Atsushi so that his back was to the center of the room. He went to pull away, then, but the panicked whine he got in response made him hesitate.

“Don’t leave. Please, please don’t leave me alone Osamu-“

“I’m not going to,” he pressed his face against Atsushi’s hair, sighing. “Atsushi, there’s. There’s something I have to do, okay? I won’t be gone long, I promise. Just stay here and I’ll be back soon.”

Atsushi’s hands don’t loosen their grip on his arms, but Dazai can’t bring himself to care.

Eventually, still shaking, they let go.

“Promise?”

Dazai smiles, then.

“Always.”

It was not a nice smile.

xxx——xxx——xxx

After convincing Atsushi that he isn’t leaving permanently, Dazai makes his way up the stairs- He’d considered, just for a moment, taking the hammer with him, but he doesn’t want to risk drawing Atsushi’s attention to it, again.

Best to leave it where it lay- Not like he wanted to touch it, again.

Unfortunately, this did mean he had to think of a new way to get rid of the Headmaster- Finding another hammer would take too long, after all, and now that he thought about it, there was too much risk that it’d make noise.

A knife, then? He knew the way to the kitchens, and while it might be messy, he doesn’t think you can mess up slitting someone’s throat.

Even if you are eleven and horribly malnourished.

Luckily for Dazai, the kitchen happens to be close by- Really, it’s just a matter of avoiding the floorboards that creak and being very, very quiet when he opens the drawers to look for the right thing.

Definitely not a butter knife, he thinks to himself. A cleaver is too big, though- Could i use it efficiently? And a steak knife might be too small…

His eyes fall on one of the larger knives in the set. A kitchen knife, was it? Seems light enough… Seems large enough, too. He picks it up for a moment, testing the weight, swinging it once or twice- Atsushi mentioned characters in his books doing that once, he thinks, and it’s something to do, if nothing else- And he thinks on what he’s about to do.

If this works- If Dazai really walks out of this room, knife in hand- A man will be dead by daybreak.

His hands will be bloody. It isn’t a decision he can take back, once he makes it.

Is he really going to do this? Can he do it? Does he want to-

(He thinks of Atsushi, curled up and shaking in the center of a room, tiny foot nailed to the ground-

He thinks of a piercing, painful hunger, of seeing Atsushi’s arms bloodied from how hungry the boy was-

He thinks of cold, of midnights full of pain, spent curled up in the corner of his shared room with Atsushi, thin arms wrapped around each other, murmured stories spilling from the silver haired boy’s lips-

He thinks-

“Osamu-san, wouldn’t it be nice if that was us?”

“It would be. Maybe it could be, one day.”

He thinks-

“Promise?”

“Always.”

He thinks, he thinks, he thinks-)

xxx——xxx——xxx

Dazai stares up at a wooden door- The stuff of nightmares, for kids like him, for kids like Atsushi. The home of their monster under the bed.

He opens the door, careful to keep it quiet.

Nothing moves in the darkness. He steps inside, closing it with a quiet click.

He wants to do this. He has to do this. They’ll both die here if he doesn’t.

He won’t regret it.

He can’t.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It’s warm, is Dazai’s first thought.

He stares at the body on the bed, blood slowly but surely seeping into the fabric of the sheets- Probably staining it, too, now that he thinks about it.

Good, he thinks, spiteful. That Man didn’t deserve clean place to die. Really, he deserved worse than a simple stabbing, too, but Dazai was short on time, and it was dark, and if the Headmaster has woken up and alerted someone-

He shakes the thought off, the action reminding him of the blood caking on his clothes and his skin. He made a face at the feeling.

And now it’s sticky. How fun.

Unfortunately, he and Atsushi need to leave- After all, he has no doubt that the other orphanage workers would claim it was Atsushi or himself who had done it, and he sees no reason to believe that whoever came to investigate would doubt them.

(He’d considered, briefly, killing the other workers to give them more time- They were just as much monsters as That Man was, after all… But no. Leaving was more important.)

He hopes Atsushi hasn’t been too upset while he was gone.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Getting back to Atsushi turns out to be the easy part- He opens the door with ease, still making as little noise as possible, but steps down the stairs leading to the basement loudly enough to alert Atsushi that someone is coming.

It’s getting out that’s the problem.

Because as it turns out, stepping foot out of the only place you’ve ever known, no matter how awful it was to you, is terrifying for both of them.

Dazai stares up at the gates before them.

Of course this is where he freezes. In front of gates. Not even when he’s killing someone. Of fucking course-

Atsushi’s hand tightens around his own, and he realizes, belatedly, that they’ve been clinging to each other since he got Atsushi out of the basement.

He tightens his own hand in response.

“Dazai-san,” the silver haired boy stops, face hesitant and voice hoarse. “Dazai-san, we… Need to go. Right? You’ll get in trouble for- For helping me if we don’t.”

Atsushi looks up at him, eyes still somewhat distant, but.

But it was better than it was.

Remember why you’re doing this.

It isn’t as if Atsushi doesn’t understand the situation- His friend is hardly stupid, and he knows what the blood that covered him means- So instead of arguing, he begins scaling the gates.

Opening them would make too much noise, right now.

Dazai refuses to ruin this. Not when they’ve come this far.

xxx——xxx——xxx

It had taken them a day to get out of the woods that surrounded the living hell that had been their life (they could’ve been quicker, but better safe than sorry- Atsushi is certain he heard people looking for them, after all).

It had taken them a further week of living on the streets, terrified of being found and dragged back, kicking and screaming, to find any hope of salvation.

(“I don’t want to go back, Osamu-san,” Atsushi had sobbed on their second night. “I don’t want to go back, they’ll take you, they’ll hurt you-“

“It’s okay, Atsushi. It’s okay-“

“Don’t go,” Atsushi choked out, shaking. “Don’t go, don’t go, you promised-“

“I did,” he pressed a kiss against Atsushi’s hair, eyes blank. “I won’t leave. I promise. I promise, I promise, I promise-“

The words had continued well into the night,)

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t be calling it salvation.

It’s warm.

Dazai stares at the man across from them, eyes dull. Atsushi is buried in his side, half trying to avoid looking at the bloody corpse on the medical table, half unable to look away.

He doesn’t think they’ve been apart for more than a minute since their escape.

Ōgai Mori turns his gaze to them, eyes wide, and there’s a touch of something unhinged there- But Dazai tightens his grip on Atsushi’s hand and remains in place.

They have nowhere else to go, after all.

“Both of you,” the black hair man starts, “are my witnesses… And the only other ones here to witness the last words of the former boss of the Port Mafia. He died of illness, and passed on leadership to his doctor with his dying breath.”

Mori’s grin stretches wider.

“Isn’t that right, Dazai Osamu-kun and Nakajima Atsushi-kun?”

And Dazai thinks of meeting the man, and his words at the time.

(“Twenty-three stab wounds,” he’d murmured, “is not an insignificant crime.”

Dazai knew a threat when he heard one, and the man smirked at his unasked question.

“Join with the Port Mafia, and I can promise protection from the consequences of your actions. You’ll be well suited, I’m certain.”

Dazai… Considers. Slides his gaze down to Atsushi, tucked into his side, eyes wide and the tell tale purple-on-gold of his ability peering at the one who’d invaded their temporary hideaway of an abandoned building.

(And hadn’t that been an event in and of itself- Discovering abilities, discovering that they had them-)

Mori’s smirk stretches wider, and Dazai thinks, absentmindedly, that only monsters how that many teeth.

“And your little friend can even join, too.”)

Dazai is sure that, if not for No Longer Human, it would be claws digging into his side instead of Atsushi’s tight grip.

Neither of them move, though, and all Dazai can do is stare at the man in front of them.

If it was just him, he wouldn’t care. If it was just him, he could deal with it. But it isn’t just him.

(Dazai thinks of bloodied nails and hammer and an aching, desperate need-)

They have nowhere else to go.

Against his side, Atsushi gives a tiny nod.

“Yes, Mori-san.”

xxx——xxx——xxx

Dazai Osamu is twelve years old when he commits his first crime in a fit of desperation.

It won’t be the last.

xxx——xxx——xxx

Point of No Return- (Expression) Phrase denoting when one must continue on with their current path, due to turning back being physically impossible or dangerous in some manner

xxx——xxx——xxx

Author’s Note: Nyanon here again- And here’s what I’ve been working on! Hopefully this lives up to my last little… Drabble? One-shot? Though it’s definitely more violent than the last one… Uh, whoops?

Also, super sorry if this wasn’t word for word on anything that popped up in universe? For example, I couldn’t completely remember Mori’s little speech to Dazai… Hope that’s alright!

#bsd #bsd fic #dazatsu fic #dazutshi fic #dazushi fic #dazai x atsushi #dazatsu #dazutshi #dazushi #anon #nyanon #nyanon fic #I LOVE THIS SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCKKK #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #submission

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crow-writes-stuff · 4 years ago

Text

Help me sleep

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), possible Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Whumptober 2020, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Deprived Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Post-Decay of Angels Arc (Bungou Stray Dogs) Series: Part 6 of Soukoku Whumptober 2020 Summary:

Dazai can't sleep. He finally asks Chuuya for help.

Ao3

Dazai stares blankly at the papers in front of him. He's trying to make sense of the black squiggly lines all across them. "Dazai-san?" Atsushi interrupts his concentration. "Hm?" Dazai asks without looking up. Atsushi fidgets with his belt before answering: "You seem really tired. Maybe you should finish early today?" Aw, he's concerned about Dazai! He finally looks up and gives Atsushi a smile. "What makes you say that?" More fidgeting. "Uh, well... For one, the papers you've been looking at are upside-down." Oh. Hm. That explains his troubles. Dazai shrugs and stands up. "Maybe you're right," he says with a cheerful voice, "tell Kunikida I'm calling in sick." This takes Atsushi by surprise, and he stammers through his response. Did he expect more resistance? "Oh, um, s-sure. But, uh, Dazai-san?" Dazai suppresses a sigh and looks back at Atsushi. "Yes?" The boy's expression is absolutely sincere when he asks: "Are you alright? You've been acting a bit strange lately. Everyone is worried." Ah, so Dazai has not been hiding it as well as he thought. He waves Atsushi off with a lazy smile. "I'll be fine, no need worry." That at least seems to placate the other for the moment, and he lets Dazai leave without further questions. Technically, Dazai didn't lie. He is sure that he'll be fine. Eventually. For now, he's leaning against the wall of the staircase and looks down at his shaking hands.

He's so tired. He has barely been sleeping, ever since... Ever since the whole disaster of the Decay of Angels situation. Sure, it worked out for them in the end, but Dazai's mind has known no rest. And neither has his body. He has tried almost everything he could think off to finally get some sleep but to no avail. Logically he knows that he only has two options left. Three, if he considers a successful suicide an option. He really, really would rather avoid both options. Which is precisely what he has done until now. The first is simple and would probably be effective as well. But taking drugs, even if they're regular sleeping pills, leads down a path he knows all too well. So that's a no from him. The second option is the last resort in every case. But what choice does he have at this point? Of course, he could go home and fail to rest again. But he knows how much his body can take and it won't be long until it reaches its limit. Death due to lack of sleep is not what he had pictured for himself.

Dazai sighs and fumbles with his coat to get his phone. The screen looks blurry to him, but that isn't the phones fault. Besides, he doesn't need to see to find what he's looking for. He starts the call and holds the phone to his ear. While listening to the quiet beeps of the starting connection, he sinks down the wall. Might as well sit down while he waits. It doesn't take long for the call to be picked up. "What the fuck do you want?" snarls an all too familiar voice. Dazai smiles. Good old Chuuya. His smile quickly falls again, and he takes a breath. He doesn't want to do this, but he's out of options.

"I need your help." The line goes completely silent. Dazai isn't too worried, though. Because as much as they fight with each other, their partnership has always been build on one fundamental truth; If one of them needs help, the other will provide it. As predicted, Chuuya soon asks: "What do you need?" His voice is even, but Dazai likes to imagine he hears a tiny hint of worry. Dazai almost wants to laugh, but he can't muster the energy. He's going to sound so pathetic. "I can't sleep." Another moment of quiet before Chuuya says: "Dazai if this is some kind of joke..." "It's not," he's quick to respond, "I think... I think I haven't slept for more than two hours this past week." The fact that he's unsure speaks for itself. He can hear a quiet sigh at the other end of the line. "Okay," Chuuya says, "Are you at the Agency?" Dazai nods before he remembers that Chuuya can't tell. His brain really isn't at its regular capacity. "I am." He hears quiet rustling and imagines that Chuuya is sitting at his desk, probably doing paperwork. "Wait there. I'm going to pick you up." The line goes dead without Chuuya waiting for confirmation. He knows Dazai will comply. He's the one that asked for help after all.

Dazai continues staring at the black screen of his phone, before resting his head on his knees. He just wants to finally sleep for more than a few minutes.

He sighs and checks the time. With a start, he realises that he already zoned out for a while. Time to go outside. He doesn't want Chuuya to come in here and perhaps run into someone else from the Agency. That would take to much explaining. Something Dazai does not have the energy for.

He makes his way downstairs and notices that he's swaying slightly. Looks like his sense of balance is also affected by the exhaustion. He's honestly a bit disappointed by his body.

Outside he leans against a wall for support. He doesn't have to wait long for Chuuya to turn up. The expensive red car is an instant giveaway even before it slows to a stop. No one gets out, so Dazai makes his way to the passenger door. He sinks into the leather seat without looking at Chuuya. Chuuya is looking at him, though. Dazai can feel his eyes as if they're burning into his skin. Finally, Chuuya turns to look at the street again. "Seatbelt," he says and starts the car again. He waits for Dazai to comply before driving off. Dazai really wants to make a joke, but his mind is blank. Chuuya usually isn't this concerned with safety, he's pretty confident in his driving. But Dazai notices that the seatbelt prevents him from slumping forward. So he settles back, his head leaning at the window. Perhaps that was the intention.

A hand on his shoulders brings him out of his thoughts. The engine is turned off, and Chuuya is looking at him again. They've already reached their destination. Said destination clearly being the underground garage of Chuuya's home. Dazai isn't surprised. They get out of the car and Dazai trails behind Chuuya as they make their way up to his apartment. He has stuffed his hands into his pockets. Chuuya has probably already noticed the shaking though. As much as Dazai likes to make fun of him, the other is far from stupid.

Dazai goes through the motions of taking off his coat and shoes entirely on autopilot. He only really comes back when a cup of hot tea is placed on the table on front of him. He doesn't even remember sitting down on the couch. Chuuya is sitting across from him. Neither of them has spoken since they started driving. Dazai already thinks that Chuuya is merely waiting him out when his expectations get defied. "This is going on since you came back?" Chuuya's talking about his little prison cell where he tried getting information from Dostoevsky. Of course, Dazai hadn't gotten out, until the threat of the Decay of Angels had been neutralised. But Chuuya is right. Dazai nods. "It's gotten worse over time." In the beginning, he had thought that it would be a temporary thing. That he'd soon be back to his old self. Sleeping on his desk if he wanted, head clear when needed. Instead, he just got less and less sleep.

Chuuya doesn't pressure him into talking more, and he appreciates it. He slowly drinks his tea. It's some kind of herbal mixture, presumably to help him sleep. He already tried that, but he doesn't comment on it. It won't hurt either.

He's staring at his empty cup when Chuuya stands up with a sigh. "Come on then." Dazai looks up at the offered hand and allows himself a tiny smile. Chuuya isn't looking at him anyway. He lets Chuuya pull him to his feet, and they head towards the elaborate bedroom. It's not the first time Dazai is here, but he's still fascinated by the giant dark wood bed frame and the deep red sheets. Chuuya once said, that now that he has money, he's not going to compromise on his own comfort. Looking at the bed, Dazai gets why.

Chuuya is already undressing when Dazai comes out of his thoughts. He turns around and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He places it on one of the chairs in the corner, his pants and socks soon following. When only his underwear is left, he turns back to the bed, where Chuuya already sits crosslegged with the blanket folded back. He's changed into a pair of pyjama pants and is leaning against the headboard. Dazai feels a slight pang at the few unfamiliar scars he spots. He ignores it however and starts crawling into bed. Chuuya easily puts his arms around Dazai and pulls him against his chest. This is far from the first time they have shared a bed. They shift until they're both comfortable, with Dazai having slung one arm over Chuuya, his head resting on the other's chest and their legs tangled together. Dazai closes his eyes, listening to the steady heartbeat of his partner. They may no longer work together, but he's never really stopped seeing Chuuya as that.

Chuuya starts gently playing with his hair and Dazai sighs. He had hoped that he would just fall instantly asleep, but that doesn't seem to be the case. "Everyone is safe," Chuuya says softly, and Dazai stiffens. How does he know what's on his mind? Chuuya sighs now. "So that is what's keeping you up? You're worrying about what happened to your friends." He pauses, waiting for a reaction that doesn't come. "And what you could have done differently to prevent it in the first place." Dazai squeezes his eyes even closer. Chuuya is right. "And you're probably trying to come up with a thousand plans to prevent something like this from happening again." Chuuya definitely knows him too well. Not that Dazai regrets this in any way. Chuuya always was weirdly insightful. And he's the only one with whom Dazai can be truly honest, even if he often isn't. He nods slightly, not reacting otherwise.

Chuuya's voice is gentle when he continues: "You're not going to like it, but there wasn't anything you could have done differently. We were all taken by surprise." He's still stroking Dazai's head, and he relaxes a little again. "And you can't prevent your friends from ever getting hurt again. But when it happens," Chuuya sounds like he's smiling now, "you'll find a way to get them out of it." Dazai sighs softly. Perhaps Chuuya is right once again. "And you won't be alone," Chuuya whispers finally.

Dazai smiles as he finally relaxes completely. Chuuya isn't going to leave. No matter how much he hurt him in the past, they're still partners. Dazai is safe with him. Probably the safest he'll ever be.

"Chibi is getting sentimental," he mutters, barely conscious at this point. Chuuya laughs softly. "Go to sleep, idiot." And Dazai does. Because Chuuya is right. Whatever comes next, he won't be alone to handle it.

#whumptober2020 #no.23 #sleep deprivation #Bungou Stray Dogs #fic #bsd #bungo stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya

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sweet-cynical-writer · 4 years ago

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Thank you to everyone who waited patiently!!! The long overdue update is here for Soukoku's Love Child!

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Suicide, Gore, Death

Special thanks to @soukokuwu naturally for proofreading & of course continuing to be my partner for the series! ♡

Soukoku's Love Child - Nikkō's Past

The soft piano music carried on a reminiscent sound as Dazai walked into Lupin. As he settled into his seat, a certain ginger haired mafioso let out an exasperated sigh as if he'd been expecting company for quite some time. His partner was late as usual.

“What kept you this time, shitty Dazai?”

He took his drink in hand to take a sip before replying. And naturally it made Chuuya upset. A warning glare shot towards the barkeep who was only there to do his job and nothing more. Dazai didn't mind ;In fact for as long as he'd been coming to Lupin, he was always served without having to place a single order.

“I was visiting someone along the way. Turns out, they need my help.”

His partner opened his mouth to retort that there's no way he would assist in helping him but was cut off as if it were expected.

“Chuuya. I know you don't want me to get involved in anyone's problems. But this is a special case. And it will affect you as well.”

The way he released an audible, ‘Tch’ made Dazai smirk with amusement. It was his partner's way of saying, ‘go on and explain yourself fast before I rip your head off’.

“I'm glad you understand. Now. To put it bluntly, I found out more about this kid I ran into. We should adopt him. There's too much risk keeping him in that orphanage and if someone else comes along to grab him.. well let's just say it will only create more work for us.”

Chuuya was irritated at the idea of having a child to look after. He hardly would have patience for Dazai as troublesome and childish he could be. Taking care of a real child would be a nightmare.

“Now listen here, if you think that you could just make all the decisions here and I would just go along with it, you're dead wrong.”

Sure, Chuuya was aware that when it came to making life changing decisions that Dazai had a natural gift for choosing right every time. But that didn't mean the ginger had to mindlessly agree every time something like this occurred.

The way he cooly took his drink to his lips only made him more angry. That sly smile played on his lips like he could order the mafia executive around like some second hand maid.

“Look you bandaged bastard, I mean it. If we just ignore this child and we do end up with more work, so what? We could always use an alternative to helping the kid find a stable home rather than have us watch him.”

Even given their separate roles, it would be impossible for either of them to always have visual watch on the kid. Was he expecting the two of them to play hot potato taking care of him? And then there were always the possibilities of the kid wandering off. Chuuya shook his head after drinking from his glass.

"No, Dazai. There's too much maintenance to bother having this kid in our care. I say make him someone else's problem or just forget about it.”

He knew better than to doubt Dazai's intuition. As insufferable this man was, he never made a wrong call on a long term decision. Ultimately, that was part of the pros of dating such a man. Still, no matter how sharp Dazai was in taking the lead, Chuuya refused to cooperate. This time, Dazai was asking for too much on his part.

To be honest, the burnette anticipated a reaction like this from Chuuya. He didn't look surprised in the slightest as he watched his partner express the facial expression of a stubborn dog who didn't want to move an inch. Unless his owner was going to drag him along by the leash.

“You may be against it now, Chuuya. But when I tell you what kind of capabilities this child has, you'll change your mind.”

Dazai took another sip from his glass before setting it down with a soft clink against the glass coaster. His warm chocolate gaze filled with sorrow as he parted his lips to tell the story of a child that lost everything at once.

***

The child was only six when this took place. A meeting that was long overdue on a night when the air was bone chilling. It whispered desirable sins in the ears of two lovers that tore a bond that was at wit's end. There was only a matter of time that this would happen but the way it happened was something not fit for children. So it was only natural that they waited until their son was put to bed before they took action on leaving him behind.

Nothing was going to stop them from reaching what they both wanted most. The one thing in life that was irreversible that was both feared and wanted by man. It was something that their son wouldn't understand until long after they left.

“The only thing I hope for.. is that he won't hate us if he ever finds out.”

Her silky voice came out in a soft whisper. Sweet honey coated eyes staring back into that freshly cut emerald gaze of his. They were sharp and confident the way he reassured his wife with a gentle press of his lips to hers. The moonlight shone down on them like a spotlight. They danced against death for their whole lives. But tonight? Tonight they would dance toward it.

They had decided a while back; they’d do it here, near the river, under the bridge where it’s quiet, barren. It wasn’t too far from the house, but far enough so their child would be able to sleep through it. Doing it at their home would be too much, too troublesome.

Tonight was the last time they could breathe. The last time they would see each other. Their fate was sealed with the guns they both held in each other's hands. They intertwined arms with the barrels resting on their foreheads. With a silent exchange to one another, they released the trigger.

It was roughly 6:45 A.M. that the boy had woken up from his slumber. He was in a daze, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he rolled out of bed to search for his parents. Their bedroom being empty sent his heart into a panic. Where did they go? And without him? Frantically, he opened the front door to rush to the first place he thought of. The river. It was a favored area that Nikkō loved to spend his time skipping rocks.

There were even times when he would hide from his parents to play out here. It was an obvious spot to be found, but that didn't matter to him, he always wanted to be found easily. However, this time, Nikkō's parents were the ones easily found.

Two bodies, side by side and covered in red, tainting the usual clear blue gentleness which was the river. It no longer held the innocent and kind memories of his family. Instead, it haunted him as he stared wide eyed and unmoving like a statue.

He was snapped out of his blank state to the sound of an incomplete call made out to the caller ID labeled, ‘YASU’. The cell phone was found in his mother's hand. He broke down in uncontrollable sobbing. Nikkō was there, curled in between the decaying bodies of his parents. Crying hysterically with an erratic heartbeat that was visible to the naked eye. A man who possessed blond hair and kind eyes had shown up before to tame the child before police arrived.

It was decided from the note left behind that he would be put into the orphanage for the sake of not learning of his dark past. Out of fear that the child would possibly take things the wrong way or attempt to take his own life out of guilt. His parents did not want the chance of Nikkō ever finding out about losing his family. There was also the logical fear that someday, learning about his ability that he could use it to hurt everyone around him.

As long as he remained oblivious to his ability, he could live out a full life of happiness. If he remains in the orphanage, some loving family will pick him up and raise him to be a sweet child. There were too many risk factors to expose Nikkō to such sensitive information. All they could do was hope he would never have to go through the stress and strain that came with having an ability.

Including knowing about Yasu, he was left with no choice. His parents found it too risky that one day, the truth would slip out if they allowed Yasu to raise Nikkō. Their last request of their old friend was to take him to an orphanage. No further contact was allowed with him after he was dropped off. But Yasu loved Nikkō like his own. He kept his promise to take Nikkō to the orphanage, only to go against their wishes and keep in contact with the boy by exchanging gifts and letters with him as time passed.

The moment the orphanage learned about the child's ability to manipulate emotions upon physical contact, they had him separated from the rest of the children. He was considered a walking disaster that only wanted those to suffer with him. When in actuality, the child not only had no clue he possessed an ability, but he wished for someone to explain what he was feeling. He was confused and often became docile at the mention of any word similar to ‘family’.

He was often asked many questions referring to his past like what happened to his parents and if he knew why he was there at the orphanage. Nikkō couldn't answer with certainty, given that the disturbing image of two bloodied bodies seen at a tender age made his brain block out those memories. Something in him refused to let him access his past. Telling him to keep pushing forward and never look back.

Tags for notification: @suehiro @jounos-teashop-writing @aiya-chan03 @i-am-sleepy-as-heck @tapioka-boi @wildnya @chihxru @dazedbydazai @bandaged-writer @daffodildazaiwrites @orphic-osamu

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #chuuya bsd #soukoku's love child #Seikatsu Nikkō #zai writes #zai does shitty edits

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midnight-strays · 5 years ago

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Hello! Could I please request head cannons for young Dazai, Chuuya, akutagawa and anyone else you like not knowing what menstruation is and while on a mission with their S/O they get separated and find them in an ally, doubled over in pain and bleeding. -sorry that it's weird

//Not weird at all my love! I think I went a lil over board though haha.

Osamu Dazai

It happened when you and Dazai were about 16 years old.

Dazai was struggling with Chuuya’s mere existence in the Port Mafia and he was almost completely swamped with world lately.

Usually he’d try dodge the work but you had forced him to remain in his office and finish a sufficient amount before he was allowed to come back out.

During the few days this took, you were supposed to have your period... only it was late.

Cue mini heart attack because you and your boyfriend were very much sexually active, not to mention, you didn’t like playing it safe all the time, sooooo...

A few days later, you still had yet to see any signs but you were beginning to experience cramps, so that was a potentially good sign.

You weren’t completely panicked about the lateness of course. You knew this stuff happened at times and with your lifestyle, no shit it would happen.

That night however, you had just gotten into the shower when your phone started ringing.

You reached out of the shower and answered the call, putting them on speaker.

As you listened to what they had to say, you washed away the dirt and grime on your body while keeping you eyes on the small device.

“I’ll be right there sir. Do not engage the target until I get there. Am I understood?”

During this, you neglected to notice the red tinted water swirling down the drain until it was gone.

Still confident that you were fine, you popped a painkiller for good measure and got dressed, rushing to the scene where you were needed.

From there, things had become chaotic.

Bullets were flying and you were barking orders while Dazai worked on things from the other end. It was supposed to have been a quick engagement, take out some guards, get the info and leave. Only things took a dangerous turn when ten guards turned into fifty and you were severely out numbered.

The dust settled and most of the Port Mafia was still standing. Dazai came out, chucking a driveto someone before looking around for you. Where were you?

“Where is (Y/N)?”

When no one gave him an answer, he looked around again.

You weren’t amongst the bodies so you had to be there somewhere. So he searched.

He almost walked past you, right part you had it not been for a low groan passing your lips that he craved for oh so often.

During the battle, despite the pills you had taken earlier, you had felt a sharp, unholy pain in your abdomen.

You ignored it at first, but it became all that more fierce the longer you pretended it wasn’t happening and eventually, you had to duck away into an alleyway, where you proceeded to throw up your dinner from the pain.

After that you remained curled up on the ground, in a somewhat crouched position, waiting for the chance to finally stand up and get back out there. That moment didn’t come soon enough it seems.

When Dazai saw you curled up like that, he thought for sure that you had been shot. He came to your side, setting a hand on your back.

“(Y/N)? Have you been shot?” He asked, trying to encourage you to sit up so he could see.

That’s when the strong smell of iron hit him.

“You’re bleeding. Where? Show me damnit.”

You refused to uncurl now, more so from embarrassment than pain now. There was no way out of this situation was there?

You shook your head no and carefully uncurled, standing up but keeping your thighs firmly together.

“I wasn’t shot. Let’s just go.”

You started to head towards the end of the alleyway but another wave of pain sent you crouching down again.

This time, despite the shitty lighting, Dazai could see the darker patch of black on your pants and he stepped forward again, grabbing you by the arm, pulling you back up.

“Tell me what haopened. We need to get you help.”

He’d insist that he carry you back and get you help but you kept refusing, frustrating him to the point where he’d try to grab you anyway but you would duck away.

“I’m on my period idiot! That’s why I’m bleeding, now back off,” you’d finally hiss in annoyance.

There would be a moment of awkward silence. On your part because this was embarrassing and on his part because he was trying to remember what a period was.

When his mouth parted in an ‘oh’ fashion, you knew he finally got it.

You couldn’t blame him for not knowing what a period was. He was a young boy, surrounded mostly by men, with a very different upbringing than most other boys.

Like a switch though, he was from serious to his usual, silly self.

“Oh, ew, right. Let’s get back then shall we?”

He was still a little panicked inside because he didn’t completely understand but was better once he saw you again later in a much better condition.

Cue a few days passing and his curiousity getting the better of him.

“Hey Boss... What’s a period?”

Chuuya Nakahara

How was such a terrifying experience turned into an incredibly embarrassing one you ask? Well, let me tell you.

To start, you had no idea what Chuuya did in his spare time. You knew he had friends as they constantly came by to drag him away to do whatever. They wore matching arm bands too su=o surely that meant something to him.

One day the band was gone though and he suddenly didn’t have as much time as before.

He told you that his mother had caught him skipping school so she was now him schooling him to make sure he got somewhere in life.

That being said, you had no reason to question him.

The important thing in the end, was that he still managed to make time for you.

After school, you’d walk out and there he would be, leaning again the main gates, waiting for you.

Your friends constantly complained about how they wanted such a committed boyfriend and it made you feel great.

Today was a weekend however, meaning he was going to be picking you up from your house instead.

You were a little unsure about this weekend, considering you were on your period but you’d never had any problems before so you went for it.

You styled your hair and slipped on a nice white dress- mistake number one- before saying bye to your guardian and headed out to meet Chuuya out the front.

Today he was taking you to a small cafe, a harmless little plac that allowed the two of you to have the kind of date you’d been lacking the last few weeks.

You both ordered your drinks and something to eat, bouncing back and forth in conversation between each other happily.

Early on during the date, he also made it Lear that he was going to pay for everything- which led you to wonder where he was getting the money from. Did he find a part time job? That would explain why he had less time to come out.

Everything was going smoothly until something small wizzed past, right between the two of you, embedding itself in the wall on the other side of you.

You looked at it with wide eyes while Chuuya was jumping over the table, pushing you down to the floor yelling, “Get down!”

Just on time, a barrage of bullets came flying in your direction.

With little shelter from the attach, Chuuya shielded your body from the bullet.

“You need to move with me.”

Despite your fear, you ended up running with him, trying to stay down as much as possible while he protected you.

Eventually shoving you into an alleyway, you discovered how Chuuya wasn’t dead yet. He had an ability. He sent to bullets flying back to where they came from.

He gave you a very brief order to stay put before running off, much to your dismay.

You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but it was long enough for crippling cramps to disturb the tiny amount of peace you had left.

Curling in on yourself nice and tight to try will away the pain, you didn’t notice it was all over until you heard Chuuya’s voice again.

“Hey, are you okay (Y/N)?”

You looked up at him with teary eyes but still heals yourself tightly. You didn’t know what to say to him. How do you answer that after what just happened?

He looked you over himself and at first, he thought you were okay until he saw the red on your dress. That wasn’t there before...

“You’re bleeding!”

Eyes widening, you jumped up and pressed yourself against the wall to hide it the best you could. It hurt to stand but you didn’t want to go through this right now.

“No I’m not Chuuya. I’m fine. I’d like to go home now if that’s okay...”

You were too in shock to actually process the fact that people were just trying to kill you both. Or just him?

“No, you’re bleeding, I saw the blood on your dress. Just let me see.”

“Don’t come any closer Chuuya!”

He would step back a little in shock at your outburst. He couldn’t blame you really.

Seeing he needed an explaination, you sucked in a deep breath and told him without making eye contact.

“I’m on my period.’

“... What the fuck is that?”

Cue your jaw dropping to the ground in disbelief.

Seriously?

“Really?

Some of those old friends of his were women!

He has a mother! Or does he...

“Just give me your jacket and take me home.”

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Periods weren’t completely foreign to Akutagawa. He has a younger sister after all.

However, this doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with it by any means.

He’ll help his sister if need be but if she doesn’t need help, he doesn’t want to know about it.

Same goes for you.

He’ll give you a hand with something if you really need it but he doesn’t want to know you’re on it.

That being said, he had no idea you were on your period when you were out on a mission.

As embarrassing as it was, you were actually on a pan/tampon run when you got called in.

With nothing but toilet paper protecting your clothes from your current unholy condition, you rushed to the scene.

It was supposed to be your day off too, so you were in much brighter clothes than usual, instead of the dark clothing you would usually wear in association with the Port Mafia.

You and Akutagawa were side by side, working together as much as you could to do what had to be done.

The building you were in was a completely maze, so, you split up.

It was as you were searching, that you encountered your tasrget’s thugs.

Bullets were flying, bouncing off the walls and making a hell of a noise that echoes throughout the place.

Despite the dull ache in your absorbent, you did all you could to fend them off.

When all were on the ground, you clutched your mid-section and dropped to the floor in pain, letting out a small whine of pain.

You were well out of your comfort zone. Your period, wrong clothing, very little to protect your clothing from your own blood... This wasn’t ideal.

You then heard the click of a gun, the barrel being pressed to your head. One of the men had been faking defeat.

Eyes wide and seeing no escape, you braced yourself for the worst, only for nothing to happen a moment later.

Looking up, you saw the man hanging in the air, a black tendril impaling his chest with an almost red electricity buzzing around it.

“Rashomon...”

The man dropped to the ground as the young man behind you let out a few small coughs.

“Have you been shot?”

“No.”

“Then why are you bleeding?”

The two of you would have realised it at the same time. You’re would have jumped to you feet and turned around the hide the stain on your pants and his face would be turning red.

“Just go home.”

“Akutagawa, you know I can’t do that.”

“I said go home. I’ve got this- take care of... that.”

Despite his insistence though... you weren’t allowed to just leave like that, meaning the air was thick with awkward tension for a good while.

At least you could both say you suddenly became more determined to finish the mission faster,

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toloveawarlord · 5 years ago

Text

Pt. 3

Characters: Alara & Mansion Residents

Tagging: @plumpblueberry @ihavenotfallenyet @claire-maccarthy @littlewitty

A/N: Wow this took a ton of time and I rewrote scenes multiple times. I have mapped out the rest of this mini-series and it will be about 8 chapters long. Give or take a little bit!

Their opinions differed.

Split.

Arguments covering all the options of how to handle their tiny guest. Arthur, Vincent, and Napoleon siding on the best choice being for her to stay with them. She would be protected, safe, and happy. Jean, Mozart, and Sebastian were erring on the side of caution, finding all the reasons it would be wrong for her to remain. The rest of the residents were undecided.

Comte sat at the head of the table, no indication of his own thoughts on steeled features. Eventually, it would fall upon him to make the final decision as the owner of the mansion. Having his residents in disarray over a single human child, no matter how tragic her plight, simply wouldn’t do. She’d left quite a mark on the ones who had met her.

“Would it not be best to send the little mademoiselle to an orphanage? She’d be cared for, fed, sheltered, adopted into a permanent home,” Jean said. He’d only see the stepfather and he did sympathize, but this environment was most dangerous for a child.

Arthur gave a breathy laugh, waving his hand to dismiss the idea. “It’s unlikely that she’d last a week in a place like that. Her mother was bought, and that threat continues to loom over her. She’ll be eaten alive in an orphanage.” The mere idea of subjecting her to more trauma set a frown on the writer’s lips.

“Poor choice of words, Arthur. She’d be eaten alive here if one of us lost control.” The sour pianist hadn’t even laid eyes on the girl, but the presence of a child could bring adverse effects. What if she caused a ruckus when he was creating? All he knew of children was they’re loud and insatiable.

Isaac’s gaze flickered between the opposite parties. Both had their valid hypothesis of the outcomes of her staying, and yet... “If you’d met her, Mozart, you’d surely have reservations in throwing her out. We have a steady supply of rouge and blanc.” He’d consider it an outlier to say that their vampire state is the largest threat to her safety. Isaac couldn’t, in good conscious, send Alara off after seeing her carefree smile surface with them.

“I’m in agreement,” Vincent spoke up. Cerulean blue eyes downcast at his hands, the lingering feeling of her trembling body against his own ever present. The reason unclear, but the painter wished to protect her from the world that sought to harm her.

Sebastian cleared his throat, his opinion on the matter he thought irrelevant. “I believe it will be your decision, M. Le Comte. What action do you advise we take concerning our little guest?” He would honor whatever Comte decided.

All attention fell onto the pure blood at the head of the table, many of them wearing their emotions clearly on their faces. The truth being that an orphanage would not treat her kindly, but with so many residents against her stay, the most comparable choice was to place her in a family that he trusted to be good for her.

“I’ve a suggestion,” Theo interrupted, having remained neutral and quiet for most of the conversation. He’d only met the girl briefly, and the facts of their nature as vampires posed a real threat, and yet, humans could be just as dangerous. The situation a heavy one. “We should take a couple of days to deliberate on it.”

Dazai hummed in response but began to nod his head in agreement. “A rushed decision could result in a wrong choice. That man might simply claim her from an orphanage, and her fate could twist into more pain.”

“We shall keep Alara in our care until we can ensure her a home that will be suitable. Whether that be here, or elsewhere.” Comte spoke at last, bringing a swift end to their meeting. Tension and emotions were still high from the confrontation only hours earlier. All needed to reflect and rest.

As for himself, Comte went to visit their guest. He assured Napoleon that no reason remained for a guard. Oscar wouldn’t dare return so soon after his talk, if at all. The snake of a man had accepted the generous donation and returned to his hole. Shutting the door soundlessly, Comte turned his attention to the soft whines coming from beneath the comforter.

“Calm your fears. No harm shall come to you here, mon petite cherie.” Words laced with comfort and full of protection. He brushed his fingers through silky locks of black hair until the pained expression calmed. Had this child ever known a night of rest without nightmares since coming to France?

No real solution had been settled. His house in partial disarray. A little girl in a precarious situation where she would likely be subjected to more pain before this ended. Comte draped his overcoat over the back of the armchair before settling in it.

Finding any home for her was a simple job. His connections were endless but nowhere fitting the standard of life that he could provide for her. Any upper-class French couple would only treat a foreign child as lesser than. He refused to send her to anywhere less than a home that could give her anything her heart desired.

Yet, keeping her here held a great risk. A household full of vampires. The secret could be kept easily if no one bit her, at least until she was old enough to know. But children were reckless and hurt themselves easily. One slip and she could end up dead. Though he trusted each and every one of his residents and believed them to be careful enough to keep her safe, accidents were a possibility.

How would she effect the balance?

Too many variables and at the center was a little girl who had already made her way into his heart. Comte had no children of his own, and his experience with children limited. Never once had he desired to care for one until he saw those pale green eyes change from fearful to full of life. He couldn’t bring himself to fully give in to her if it meant disrupting the other residents.

He only intended to rest his eyes. Thoughts enraptured in problems stacking upon problems with less solutions to fight against them. The raging storm outside reflected within his own mind. The longer they kept her, the harder it would be for her to part with them. The right answer alluding him at every turn.

Morning light spilled over into the bedroom, bringing warmth to the room. Sky without any lingering dark clouds of the intense storm. Birds chirped a happy tune, signaling a better day than the one before. Even the sun peeking over the horizon gave a promise to be brighter and warmer.

Comte awoke to the serene moment, content to simply listen to the birds sing beyond the windowpane for a little longer. As he moved to shift his legs, a weight that hadn’t been there the previous night prohibited it. Golden eyes slid open, unsure of what to expect.

Beneath a silken blanket, Alara sat on his lap, cheek pressed against him. Her breathing soft but she slept soundly, clutching his other arm to her as if it were her only lifeline. Black hair messy and tangled from the blanket shifting around it. Either the storm or her nightmares had woken her, and she chose to seek comfort with him.

“You’ve seen too much for your age,” Comte spoke quietly to her, petting her head. There were quite a few problems with her being in the mansion, but perhaps he could smooth them all over. As he lifted his palm to stroke her hair again, the girl woke with a start.

Pale green eyes wide with fright and confusion. She tried to slide away from him, memory fuzzy. Most mornings in her home had been lonely, and if anyone were there, it did not bode well for her. Without realizing, Alara had pulled away too much and slipped nearly completely off his legs.

Comte reacted inhumanly quick, leaning forward and catching her before she fell into the floor. “You’re alright, Alara. No more harm will come to you,” he assured as he placed her back onto his lap. “We slept a little late this morning. I’m confident that breakfast is waiting.”

The fear lingering in her eyes began dissipating and, in its place, a bit of anticipation. Her eyes flickered to the door as someone rapped on it before opening it. The way she recoiled to hide herself from view was bittersweet. Her openness to be comfortable with Comte, yet afraid of it crumbling down around her.

“I have purchased clothes more suited for her as requested. It will be delivered later in the day. However, I brought this for her to wear today.” Sebastian held up a beautiful, coral rose dress made of the finest materials that one could buy. “I’ll see to her getting dressed.”

He’d promised to do so, but once alone with the girl, it seemed an arduous task. Sebastian laid the dress on the bed along with the socks and shoes he’d picked out to best go with the outfit before addressing the child ducked down on the other side of the bed. “Please come out from there Miss Alara.”

“I can do it myself!” She dressed herself every day. The maids taking the time to teach her how in order to not have to do it themselves. As long as no buttons were out of reach, Alara had confidence that this task could be completed.

“I’ll wait outside, then.” Sebastian wavered at the door. He couldn’t allow her to cause herself harm, but at the same time, pushing her would only put a rift between their relationship. Should Comte decide to adopt the girl into the home, it would become his duty to oversee her needs met.

With the door almost completely closed, Alara peeked over the top of the bed to be sure that he’d gone. Satisfied that the room was empty, she rounded the bed and observed the dress up close. Her fingers dragged across the material, softer than she’d ever felt before. Nothing like the coarse and uncomfortable dress that her stepfather bought for her.

No buttons were in her way. The dress slid easy over her head and she only struggled for a moment to get her arms through the fitted cuffs at the bottom of the sleeves. Alara plopped onto the floor, falling onto her back as she tugged and pulled the white sock over her small foot, then repeated with the other.

The final touch, a pair of black shoes with a strap that looped around her ankle and buckled to the other side. She’d been taught how to do it, but it had always proved hard. After a few minutes of struggle, the girl simply tucked the end of the strap through and thought it to be fine.

“All done,” Alara announced to an empty hallway. That man was a butler, so he must have something else to do. All the staff at her stepfather’s home worked all day long and never stopped. Cleaning, cooking, delivering. She shrugged her shoulders and began down the hall. The kitchen and dining hall were down the stairs somewhere, so she must be going in the right direction.

A door ajar caught her attention, as all the others were tightly closed. A room filled with more books and interesting treasures than she had ever seen before drew her in. A haphazard mess, but a beautiful one. Books were stacked taller than she stood, paintings and maps stuffed all in between. Whose room would this be?

Atop one of the stacks, a shiny necklace laid in plain sight. Curiosity took over, as no one was around to see, and she reached up to take it. Nothing supported the tower books and the slightest shift caused the entire thing to lean towards her, ready to bury her beneath it’s hard covers.

Though Alara squeezed her eyes shut and covered her head, the anticipated pain never hit her. Instead, the overwhelming smell of cigarettes filled the space.

“That was a close one, wasn’t it?” The man holding back the stack of books had appeared from the other side of the pile. He imagined this must the girl that had caused the big commotion. Such a slight but beautiful child. Only half awake, he’d barely caught it, and hadn’t realized that his lazy expression was being misconstrued as an unhappy glare.

Alara took a step back, pale green eyes wide with many emotions, but the most present one being fear. Who was this man? Why was he sleeping on the floor? Would he be angry with her for invading his room? How much trouble was she in? The only men she’d known to smoke were her stepfather’s so-called friends.

“Scusa, - hey, wait-”

The words barely reached the child that started to bolt from the room. Being startled by a stranger had scared her at first but being reprimanded for entering a room that didn’t belong to her brought about the most distress. Alara spotted a figure ahead that she recognized from the previous night. “Arthur!”

The writer turned at the call of his name, lighting up with a smile for a brief moment until he noted the frantic state, she was in. “What’s the matter?” He couldn’t fathom what might have startled her so.

“Pick me up!” She rose up onto the balls of her feet, arms outstretched and begging for it. He’d protected her last night and she did quite like his accent, so a sense of familiar safety came from being around him.

“You don’t need to try to climb me,” Arthur chuckled as he did as she wanted. His gaze flickered from her to Leonardo’s room where she’d come out of. He must have been sleeping in an odd place and accidentally scared her. What good fun. With the girl’s legs locked around his waist and thin arms so tight around his neck, Arthur patted her back. “I’ll wager that Leonardo isn’t as frightening as you think he is.”

Leonardo emerged from his bedroom, brushing his hand through his hair. “I had no intentions of scaring you, cara mia.” He’d only heard the story of what happened second hand, and grossly underestimated how timid and fragile her mindset was.

The only response given was a soft whine as she hid her face in Arthur’s neck and tightened her grip on him. “Scary.” Her whisper soft enough that only the writer caught it, to which he found quite amusing.

“This is quite the predicament you’ve gotten yourself into.” Arthur grinned at the other vampire. He wanted to bring her down for breakfast just like this. A triumphant entrance as he’d boast that he’d won her trust. “I hadn’t a clue you liked to torture young ones.”

“I saved her from a stack of books about to collapse on top of her. That’s the opposite of torture. I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

No response came.

Leonardo tried speaking to her as they walked down to the dining hall. She refused to even look at him, only responding to Arthur when he asked her an unrelated question. He sighed in defeat as they reached the main door. It would take some time to recover from this incident.

A truly bad first impression.

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rokutouxei · 4 years ago

Text

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 8 OF 22

And how impossible it still is: to train the heart to sit. - "The Kindest Thing She Almost Did", Blythe Baird

The College of Arts’ student council has rotating schedules on who gets to organize the university-famous Halloween party. This year, it was the Literature Department and the Film Department that paired up to choose a theme, decorate, and make sure the party is getting smoothly—and the very specific, not-required but entirely funny, theme this year was “Film or Book that you’d love to be turned spooky, but isn’t exactly spooky.”

This is why she thought of coming in as characters from the Night Circus. The black and white stripes matched with red really gives off a very Halloween vibe to begin with, but all the circus-y magic that goes on in the book itself also makes it very viable for the spooky vibes.

She’s now standing in front of the College of Arts’ event hall, where the event is set to happen. She tugs at the locks of hair dangling at the side of her face, the ones she couldn't get to obey her planned updo, even with all the bobby pins.

There's something about scavenging a costume on your own that is so nerve-wracking. There's something more when you're portraying a character from a book someone introduced to you. It feels like it's a duty to get it right. She couldn’t find any entirely matching dresses in the thrift stores she went to, so this was the best she could do: some sort of modern but 1890s-inspired fortune teller mash-up of a costume. The dress was fashioned out of this dizzying deep blue-black velvet fabric, with little speckles of silver glitter like stars across it; she wore a striped black and white petticoat underneath it to give it some volume since the dress ended around the knees. She’d re-sewn the sleeves and the neckline to be similar to that of the era, revealing a nice V along her back and a nice, wide boat collar. Then, she’s put on a small, decorative hat with some red flowers on the corner of her head, and then draped a sheer black scarf with little rosy red designs on the ends over her shoulders. Then she put on some knee-high lace-up boots to add a little grunge to the entire attire. Lastly, she had a few Rider-Waite tarot cards in her pocket (The Chariot and Temperance) just for the vibe of it.

(All this costume preparation was really to wind herself down after submitting her initial requirements to the scholarship selection committee earlier that week.)

Just as she begins to spiral in her thoughts, “Sorry I’m late,” she hears Theo’s familiar voice call out, and she looks up from staring at her shoes and gasps out loud.

Theo’s wearing his hair a little curlier than usual, a lightly-tinted pair of green contacts on his eyes and—as he’s promised—a well-tailored suit, in black and white and red, to suit the general aesthetic of the circus itself. She figured he would come in a suit, but—she wasn’t expecting him to take the extra effort with the hair and the eyes, either. She could even see the little silhouette of a journal peeking from underneath his jacket—he’s obviously prepared even to the smallest details! Maybe, maybe he does look like the Marco in her head. Just a little. Maybe if his hair was darker. She finds herself staring at him for a ridiculous amount of time, so much so that he has to cough to get her attention again.

"The green eyes look lovely on you," she comments softly, hand curling up to gently press his finger at his cheekbone near instinctively, allowing her to observe his eyes better. Theo feels himself flinch in surprise, but he does not pull back.

"Thank you, grey-green was a very specific color."

She nods. "I do prefer your usual blue though." Her hand falls back to her side. "Too bad I can't magic it back?"

"You see it blue all the time. Stop complaining when this was your idea," Theo says, but he offers his arm anyway.

"So sour," she pouts. "How unbecoming of you, Mister Alisdair," she says, as she slides her arm into his.

Theo only snorts; he does not hide the half-smirk. "Only to match you, Miss Martin."

The event hall is lavishly decorated in some sort of spooky, old vampire mansion vibes, with all the matching spiders and fake candles. It is a little silly to see the DJ on the far end of the hall, with his set-up on top of what seemed like a desk older from three centuries ago. The caterers set up the food on a buffet table—also beautifully decorated, how many fine arts majors did the production team get to bully into helping them out?—to get it ready before dinner at six.

But the bar—the bar is open.

“Do you drink?” she asks casually, already one foot towards the bar.

He takes a nervous gulp she pretends not to notice. “Not a lot,” he answers.

“Then a glass will be alright. I told Arthur we’d meet at the bar. Come on!”

Because her college stupidly attempts to seem puritan, official drink menus are not allowed to actually say out loud that they contain hard liquor, so instead have really creative names. This time, they are references to different, random books and films, with fine-print descriptions of what it is. She orders a glass of Pride and Prejudice and Theo gets a serving of Kafka on the Shore. Both of them had just received their drinks when her phone begins to ring, and with a short excuse me she heads to a quieter part of the room and answers the call.

“Dazai?”

“Hello, Toshiko-san. I’m waiting outside the hall, but you’ve entirely forgotten that I haven’t actually met who I’m bringing in.”

Oh! “Well, I told him to wait on a stone bench there… Dark blue-ish hair, blue eyes, a mole on the side of his lip? He responds to ‘Arthur’.”

“‘Responds?’ Are your bookstore friends all a bunch of dogs?”

“Well, this drools at the sight of meat,” you say, unapologetically. “I didn’t see him there yet when I was still out, but—”

She hears a shuffle from the other side of the line, and Arthur’s familiar voice through the phone, a small “Hello, could you be Dazai?” and her friend’s very, very meaningful pause—she can almost see Dazai looking Arthur up and down—before he answers, “Yes, and you must be Arthur.”

The phone call ends and she grins for only a half a moment before realizing what she’d done.

She walks ever so slowly back to the bar, letting it sink in. But once she’s got her glass in her hand, she downs it in one go, surprising both the bartender and Theo. She shakes her head and then sits back down on the stool, half-laughing.

“Something happen?” Theo asks.

She groans. “I may have made a mistake with Arthur.”

Theo takes a sip of his drink, just the littlest bit smug. “Everything is a mistake if Arthur is involved.”

“I didn’t think he’d—”

“Hello, lovebirds,” says the devil, Arthur coming up behind them with—

With Dazai glued to his hip.

She’s known Dazai for a few years at this point, and because they’ve known each other for so long, there are little things she knows Dazai does that may not seem obvious to the onlooker.

First: Dazai is not fond of touching, but he is rather great at tolerating it. It usually takes a few months before Dazai is fine with being touched by someone. Even she took around half a year before Dazai would allow her to hug him freely. When he’s being touched by someone he does not particularly like, he clenches his hands and fits them into his pockets, so it’s not as noticeable.

Observer’s note: Arthur’s got his hand around Dazai’s waist. Dazai’s hands are wide open, resting at his hip.

Second: Dazai is also good at having his practiced smile. He says he practices it in the mirror, did it every day for a year until it became natural to him; it looks genuine and otherwise believable, that is, if you haven’t seen his actual smile. And even if you have, sometimes it’s still hard to tell. His actual, genuine smile, that goes up to his eyes, crinkling the sides of it, and he flushes sometimes too; it’s so wide it reveals the little dimple on his cheek.

Observer’s note: Dazai’s dimple is very, very visible right now.

Third: Dazai has this thing where the longer he considers a person, the less he becomes attracted to them, for some reason, even if the extended thinking time only makes him feel like they’re a better match by the second. Dazai is only genuinely, passionately, instantly attracted to people he knows will pose him some sort of danger and excitement.

Observer’s note: Dazai met Arthur today.

She bites back the groan that’s bubbling out her throat and grins. “Hello, Arthur, Dazai. Having fun?”

“Where’d you been hiding this cutie all this time?” Arthur teases, squeezing Dazai closer to him. “Much fun now that he’s here. I see you’ve started drinking ahead of us.”

“Just a little,” she says. “Shall we find a table?”

The four of them choose a table in the middle of the chaos—Arthur’s suggestion—somewhere midway the bar and buffet. The tables are for six, and the number makes her remember.

“I couldn’t get Isaac to come.”

Dazai shakes his head. “I told you he said he wasn’t interested. Must be working overtime like he usually does.” He nods towards her direction. “Good attempt, though.”

She frowns. “He should really let loose sometimes… I know he’s good at what he does, but a little, one-night-a-year party isn’t going to hurt him is it?”

“Ohoho, what’s this, have another cute friend I have to know?” Arthur interrupts.

Dazai taps Arthur’s nose gently and she wants to vomit. What has she done. “Isaac Newton, a Ph.D. student from the physics department. Too serious for his own good.”

Surprise fills Arthur’s face. “My, isn’t that Newt? Teaches classes sometimes?” She and Dazai nod. “Small world!”

“Next year we’re really finding a way to drag him in,” she says.

To which Dazai laughs, “you won’t be here next year, Toshiko-san.”

There’s a small sliver of silence that settles in between them, just long enough to be felt but not for the conversation to come to an abrupt halt. It makes Theo flinch a little.

“Then it’s up to you guys, isn’t it?” she takes her second glass of literary cocktail—she doesn’t even know what’s in this one, just pointed at the menu, it was titled Wolf Totem—and downs half of it in one go.

“Maybe if a girl came around to bring him, he’d be more persuadable,” Arthur teases, “Look at my chap Theo over here.”

“So you’re Theo, huh?” Dazai purrs. She throws a glare at him that goes ignored. “Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Theo only nods as a response and she takes the chance to get the conversation back in a direction that makes her a little safer from their teasing. “But no, really, Isaac? Coming for a girl? You don’t know him at all, Arthur.”

“Oh, even the toughest guys fall back to romance, don’t they, Theo?”

Theo throws a glare towards Arthur; it is shrugged off as the newly-formed suddenly-a-couple laughs in unison.

Despite the ruckus, the four of them still have some good fun at the party. Arthur Arthur’s non-stop insisting that they play the party games has them rewarded with many things: a stupid award here or there, minuscule amounts of cash that could be used in the future for dine-outs, and even a nice bottle of high-end “water”—it was definitely vodka, the organizers just couldn’t announce it out loud. She and Dazai had to stand up a couple of times to go meet their college-mates in their department, but the four of them stayed mostly together until past dinner—that is until the dance music started to rev up, getting ready for the long night ahead.

“Excuse the two of us, we’re going to do some actual dancing, like people do at parties to have fun,” Arthur says, but his face is already littered in glitter from the poppers and his face is dusted pink from all the alcohol. Obviously, dancing isn’t required to have fun at all. Taking Dazai’s hand like a gentleman, sliding his arm around the other man’s waist, Arthur makes a comical bow to which she makes a face. The two disappear into the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, and the sight of them so obsessed with each other makes her lean back on her chair to take a sip on her—fifth? Sixth? Ah, who is counting?—nth glass of alcohol.

Wary of being the killjoy, Theo gently asks, “Don’t you want to dance?”

“I mean… you don’t want to, do you?” she asks, facing him properly, glass still in hand. “I just felt like it’d be great to hang out with you here and if you’re not up for dancing…”

“If you want to we should go.”

“I’m not going if you’re forcing yourself to.”

“No, I’m not, so—”

“Theo, sit down!” she says, laughing. The alcohol’s given her skin a beautiful pink flush, and her smiles have turned wider, more relaxed. “It’s okay, I promise. Just sit here and drink your—drink. It’s just nice to have company.”

He nods as she turns back to watching the crowd. A smile still settles on her face as she watches the mass of people dancing and shouting to the music. Theo asks, “Do you always go here with someone?”

She shrugs, taking another sip from her glass. “I came alone the first time, and then the next I went with Dazai. He’s pretty popular—when he’s alone, without anyone slung on him, you know? Lots of people dance with him.”

“And you?”

“Me?” she asks, forehead wrinkling. “I’m normal. I sit and drink until my liver begs me to stop. And then dance until my legs beg me to stop when I’m drunk enough.”

He scoffs, but only in that friendly way of defeated acceptance. “Sounds like fun.”

“So much more fun with you around though,” she asserts, tilting her glass to him. “Cheers?”

“For what?”

And she’s quiet for a moment, before she raises her glass again, saying, “To friendship and literature, of course.”

Theo thinks that’s good enough. They clink their glasses gently and then drink.

For the slightest of moments, Theo considers asking the one question that had been on his mind since she invited him to the party. Preparing the clothes to wear to the event only made his curiosity even stronger, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like he had the right to ask. Theo feels content sitting in his uncertainty, the mystery of it hanging in the air.

But the alcohol has made him a little more courageous.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot!”

“Why didn’t you go as Celia?”

It’s common for a pair of people to attend a costume party in matching outfits with characters that are paired as well. Celia is Marco’s natural pair in the book. Isobel is not. Why didn’t she go as Celia? Theo would not have minded if she did. Celia was fiery and romantic and could see through Marco’s every disguise.

And Isobel longed and longed and never got what she wanted.

“I kind of felt for Isobel, you know?” she answers, in that hesitant way that makes the asker wonder if it’s because of the embarrassment or because of the half-lie. “She was running away, after all. Didn’t you say that was what I was so fixated on?”

And Isobel is only the circus because she was the way for Marco to get to who he loved. Even before he knew who he loved.

“Wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Theo remarks, taking out his little Marco-journal to dust it away idly. “You seem like the type who always feels extensively for the protagonists.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but then, suddenly, her eyes widen brightly. She puts down her glass and quickly swipes the journal Theo kept with him before pulling him up by the wrist. “C’mon, let’s do the photo booth?”

“What?” Theo staggers up. Why so suddenly? “Who’ll watch over the table?”

She places her little hat on the table. “That’ll save it, let’s go.”

Theo can feel his pulse thrumming under his wrist where she’s holding on to him. Theo does not have the will to argue as she drags him to the makeshift studio on the far end of the hall. Instead, he focuses on her—the way her hair’s held up in an intricate braided bun on her head, the fall of her dress over her shoulders, the feeling of his hand around his arm.

She’s such a weird girl, he thinks.

When they get to the end of the line—a short one, bless the universe—she takes out the two tarot cards in her pocket and hands them to him.

“Switch props for the photo,” she explains.

When they get to the photo booth, they opt for two photos; one for her to keep, and another for Theo. They don't even bother with the poses, both half-drunk, holding up their character props as the cameraman fixes the shot. She settles, standing by his side, arms twined, head leaning toward him as the camera flashes once. And Theo can’t help himself when he turns to face her because of that, and before he knows it—the camera flashes once more.

She’s too far into her drinks to have time to think why Theo’s so concerned about seeing the photos first and choosing which one he wants to keep for himself.

It is just a little past midnight when she, Theo, Arthur, and Dazai hop out of the hall. She insisted that it would be better to wait until the end of the night before leaving—making most of the ticket, or something—and the most that they had gotten out of that was a free coupon to a fast-food chain.

That, and this:

She’s half-slung over Theo when she yells at Arthur and Dazai, who are very obviously becoming a little too comfortable with each other, handsy as they huddle together. She shouts: “Jesus, guys, get off each other!”

“Hmm? Right now? Sure, we’d love to, if you don’t mind—”

“NO! NO NOT LIKE THAT!” she yells, pushing away from Theo to nudge Arthur away from Dazai. The new lovebirds just laugh mildly at each other as she huffs and frowns, falling back into step next to Theo. “Oh god, I’ve made the worst mistake of my life.”

“Best mistake of my life,” Dazai says with a slurred laugh, leaning against Arthur. She makes a gagging motion, to which Theo snorts.

Relative to everyone else’s lodging in the university, the van Goghs’ apartment is the one closest to the hall, so the four of them make their way to it, drunk feet stumbling on uneven pavements all the way there. Arthur and Dazai are walking ahead of them—Theo doesn’t know how Arthur knows where he lives, not when he’s never brought him there; that’s a question for a more sober time—and she and Theo walk side-by-side a few feet behind.

She’s not entirely drunk, no, but she’s a little closer to drunk than tipsy, and it shows when she speaks. “Did you have fun today, Theo?” she asks, ignoring the little misstep her conversation has cost her.

Theo has his hands in his pockets, but they’re only seconds away from grabbing her by the arm to steady her. Any minute now. “It was okay.”

She grins. “Great! That’s all I want.” She looks back up in front of them, and Arthur throws one glance upon hearing their conversation, but then quickly looks away. “It’s kinda, uuuuh,” she squints, the words lost. “Different, to hang out with you with ‘thur and ‘zai around.”

See, this is exactly why Theo capped himself off at three drinks. Look—he’s long accepted his less than average tolerance, but to have to babysit a group of drunk college kids… “Bad different?”

“Nuh-uh,” she says. “Jus’ different. Used to only us. ‘t’s nice being alone with ya.”

I don’t want to take care of a drunk you on my own, she hears in her head, and she isn’t quite sure if Theo had actually said it or if it was just a figment of her imagination.

Soon enough, the four of them stumble onto the van Gogh’s front porch, Theo just not-drunk enough to get the key in through the hole. With a click, the four of them are greeted by the bright light of the living room. Arthur must have been the one that hissed. They stagger in, Dazai slamming onto the sofa, Arthur right after him, and she, heading to the refrigerator for some water.

Theo disappears for a moment to check on Vincent in the studio and to tell him that he’s brought his unfortunate group of friends to sober up, and it’s a good thing the drunkards aren’t around with him because the brightness of Vincent’s smile would have knocked them right out.

“I’ll go take a shower,” Theo announces to no one in particular, shouting down the hall as he disappears into his shared bedroom with Vincent. She tries not to think of what that would look like, blaming her wandering thoughts on the alcohol. She’s about on her second glass of water when she spots Vincent headed to the kitchen.

She beams. “Vin-ny~” she reaches out to him and Vincent catches her before she falls.

“Did you have fun at the party?” Vincent asks, half-laughing, as he helps her to sit on the counter—which was what she was trying to do. “How much did you drink?”

She raises her hands up to her face and tries to count, fully knowing she stopped counting after the second glass. “Enough to make me happy,” she answers instead, smiling dumbly at the older van Gogh. “Theo was so grumpy.”

“He was so excited to go, though,” Vincent says, standing next to her. Of course he has no qualms ratting on his younger brother like that. “You should have seen him, preparing for his costume. Did he look just as you imagined?”

“…And better,” she admits, before taking a sip of the water again to sober up a little more. The ice in the glass is helping her brain to chill. “I’m not sure if he had fun, though. I feel kind of bad.”

Vincent hums. “He looks like he had fun. He wouldn’t have brought you guys here otherwise.”

“You think so?” she asks, eyes wide. The blond man laughs.

“I know so.”

By the time Theo comes out of the shower, he’s a little more dressed down, in jeans and a button-up shirt. He looks at Arthur and Dazai, both already long out like a light on the couch, and sighs.

“I suppose you’re sleeping here too,” he asks, looking toward her. She shoots him an awkward grin.

“She can sleep on my bed,” Vincent offers, but Theo shakes his head.

“She can sleep on mine. You sleep on your bed tonight, Vincent. I can sleep in the studio. I’ll just pass by the drugstore a few blocks down for some…” he frowns at Arthur and Dazai, “…Ibuprofen, for tomorrow.”

“Take care on your way out,” Vincent answers, taking a scan at Theo up and down to see if he’s sober enough to go out. Theo really didn’t drink a lot—purposefully, he knew this was going to happen—so he’s standing pretty straight. He nods and makes his way out, the door closing with a gentle click.

After that, she slouches next to Vincent, like she was just holding herself up to seem a little put together for Theo. Vincent pats her on the head gently, like a little child.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

She sniffles a little, looking down at her shoes. “I was just thinking h’much I’ll miss this.”

“Are you going away?”

“Maybe,” she says, idly. “I want to. Don’t want to. Want to.”

Vincent smiles, the kind of disappointed-but-not-surprised, non-judgmental, gentle smile of an older brother one would give to a younger sibling. Carefully, he hooks her arm around his shoulders, saying, “C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” as he leads her to his shared room with Theo. She is pliant in his arms, legs wobbling but still planted with a balance onto the floor.

The costume she’s in doesn’t look entirely too comfortable to sleep in, so he offers her a loose shirt and some sweatpants to change into. It takes her two minutes too long to fumble into them, but right before he begins to get worried that she’s gotten stuck in the fabric, she knocks at the door to tell Vincent she’s done. He walks in with a glass of water.

“One last before you sleep,” he says, assisting her in drinking. “I hope you don’t have a headache tomorrow.”

But she’s intoxicated, and her brain doesn’t follow along with Vincent, so as she’s drinking the water her eyes are wandering the walls, where various canvases are hung. All of them are Vincent’s, and most of them are unframed, and perhaps have never been seen by anyone besides Vincent and Theo. Once the glass is empty, she turns to Vincent with a glazed look in her eye.

“Do you think there’s going to be something greater for us outside of this place?”

He blinks, taken off guard. She has officially transitioned from clingy, whiny drunk, to having an existential crisis, philosophical drunk. He only laughs lightly, placing the glass on the bedside table as he coaxes her into bed, tucking her under the blanket.

“I sure do hope so.”

#the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo

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emeraldtawny · 5 years ago

Note

Ikevamp Suitors reacting to MC falling asleep witht their pets??

s….so……so soff ;w; This became longer than I thought so it’s going under a cut and on my masterlist because I quite like how these turned out griknerdht

Napoleon: He’s fallen asleep outside in the gazebo. Even Jupiter’s screech doesn’t wake him up, the eagle swooping down and perching himself gallantly next to his master. His beady eyes are trained on Napoleon but he doesn’t stir and the eagle preens its wing feathers before getting a more comfortable grip on the back of the bench. Until he wakes up, Jupiter is his loyal guard, making sure his sleep goes undisturbed.

Mozart: On a rare night that Schelm is perched outside the music room just listening to the soft piano, his head cocks when he realises that it stopped. Gliding down to the floor, he hops across the marble floor, his talons clicking loudly against the surface. But Mozart is responseless, his head laying on his arm atop the piano. With a soft hoo, Schelm jumps up onto the piano bench and puffs out his feathers before nestling comfortably next to his owner.

Leonardo: Lumiere’s golden-brown eyes have been glued on Leonardo all evening as he fiddles with the fifth new contraption this week. With a languid stretch, he leaps from the bed and makes a point of slinking through his hands, purring all the while. He grumbles but can’t find it in himself to move the cat off him, which of course gives the cat the thought to immediately settle himself between his crossed legs for a lazy catnap. With a huff, Leonardo puts his contraption down and scratches the cat’s ear, letting his own eyes drift shut to join his feline companion in sleep.

Arthur: After a nice long walk by the river, He had hoped this would be enough to tire out his little pup. Unfortunately, it only seemed to tire him out, especially considering he was up all through the night before writing up a storm. Vic makes a questioning little “awoo?”, to which Arthur just laughs at and unclips his leash before he makes his way to his couch and immediately just collapses onto. Vic sets his front paws on the couch and licks Arthur’s face, his only response being a tired grumble. Jumping up onto the couch, the pup makes himself comfortable on Arthur’s stomach, his owner’s hand subconsciously moving in his sleep to stroke the pup’s fur.

Vincent: His endeavour to find painting inspiration in the clouds turned into a lazy midday nap…a nap he is abruptly woken up from by some paws imparting all of their weight onto his stomach. As he blinks hazily, he recognises the chittering of his little raccoon. “Hello, Brush. Would you care to join me? It’s a…lovely day…to…”. Brush paws at his face as if disappointed by his owner. He still cuddles up into a ball next to Vincent, scratching at his tail before letting out a little yawn himself.

Theo: He’ll be making his way back to his room when he hears whimpering. With a rough sigh, he opens the door and is met with big puppy dog eyes from…a puppy dog. “What are you doing, King? You’re never this needy.”. With a happy wag of his tail, King paws his front paws at Theo’s leg and scampers over to the bed. With a raised eyebrow, Theo wonders if King knows he hasn’t been getting much sleep lately…no, surely not. Even so, he can’t deny he wants to lie down, and King joins him, both owner and pet falling asleep side by side join on their backs and both grumbling in their sleep.

Dazai: The inspiration is slow today. As he stares at his empty parchment, he suddenly hears a soft coo from behind him. Before he can turn around, he feels little talons and soft feathers wiggling in his hair as his little java finch Bunta nests itself in his head as it so often does. He speaks out loud to Bunta to try clear his thoughts, but all he hears in reply is soft snoring coos. He sits up straight in his chair and closes his eyes, determined to keep his head level so as not to disrupt his feathered friend’s nap.

Isaac: He’s so lost in his work that he doesn’t notice little Harry scuttling around him. Nor does he see him crawling up the couch and crawling onto his lap, the little prickly ball quite happy as he closes his eyes. When he reemerges to reality, he hears a little squeak and he almost squeaks himself when he looks down and sees the little hedgehog in his lap. He….he can’t move him, even if he really needs to. He tries to focus on his work again and Harry’s little snoring noises keep distracting him…and making him…kinda sleepy too. Maybe just a little nap…

Jean: After a tough training session coupled with not getting enough blood, Jean enters his room and shuts the door behind him, sliding down to the floor with his back to the door. A small rawr draws his eye up, his little tiger cub padding up to him with her head cocked. He sighs and reaches out to lightly pet her head, to which she reaches up to paw his hand. She ends up tumbling into his lap and that gets him to laugh, even if it was a small exhale of breath through his nose. Cherie gives a big yawn and snuggles down further into his lap, Jean resigned to stroking her back as he stares at the ceiling, hardly aware of his eye closing and drifting off to sleep as well.

Shakespeare: It’s a lonely night tonight. And Puck seems to sense it, his nose twitching as he looks over at his owner staring down at his unfinished manuscript. With a little hop from across the table, he rests his fluffy chin atop his hand as if to say “no more work tonight”. Shakes smile at his little companion, giving him a cursory scratch to his head before resting his head on the table to better watch his rabbit. Both end up falling asleep amidst their staring contest, Puck’s head still snuggled sweetly on top of Will’s hand.

Comte: Sitting in his chair reading a book, he can’t fully focus on it with the soft scratching and rustling filling his room. WIth a chagrined smile, he sets the book down and finds his little white ferret chasing its tail around in circles excitedly. “Are you having fun there, Thyme?”. The ferret looks up and blinks before scampering up and circling around one of Comte’s legs. He reaches down to pick Thyme up, the white noodle squirming a little bit before he relaxes against his owner’s arms, his own little legs hanging languidly from his makeshift hammock. Content, Comte sits back down in his chair and letting his eyes drift shut watching Thyme’s cute little nose twitches.

Sebastian: It’s Rotte’s wool inspection day; need to make sure she’s nice and clean. So, of course, she’s rolling happily in the grass without a care. Sebas sighs as she gives a happy maaa and she rolls onto her feet and skips over. He sits down only to be almost bowled over onto his back as Rotte lies down as a sheep loaf and rests her head in his lap. He pats her head, resigning himself to clean her wool another day. All of the rushing around from the last couple of weeks catches up to him and Rotte’s warm head is his lap isn’t helping. “I’m sure MC can handle an hour or two without me…” “maa!”.

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writing-radionoises · 5 years ago

Text

satisfaction

ship: minor shin soukoku / akuatsu

genre: hurt/comfort, redemption

prompt: akutagawa finally gets his redemption and joins the ada

notes: this is my little series right now, i just call it ada akutagawa and i mostly just wrote this because it’s what he deserves

also, aro/ace spectrum akutagawa

A hit from the left. A hit right from the right. "Rashomon, demonic armor!" The colors of Akutagawa's vision begin to blend together, muddling up, and he knows well his disgustingly weak lungs are giving in. It hurts. He's so weak, even to Atsushi's pathetic blows. He knows Atsushi is holding back, too, especially after all the god forsaken blabbering Akutagawa did. He's just so... tired. Akutagawa doesn't even register falling to his knees, Rashomon slinking away from it's armor form and instead choosing to curl around it's owner in a protective manner, as well as it could without hurting him further. Atsushi stands in front of him, barely a cut or scratch on him, but he looks tired, as well. His regenerative ability has gotten better. Akutagawa begins to cough into his hand, crimson red now staining the pretty white silk on his shirt. "Akutagawa," Atsushi starts, breath heavy as he speaks, "No... Ryunosuke. You don't even talk of the mafia fondly anymore. I'm not quite sure you ever have... You only talk about how much they hurt you, how much they hurt Dazai, and Kyouka, and all other sorts of people. Ryunosuke... Are you satisfied?" The phrase hits hard, like a punch to the chest, and it only makes Akutagawa wheeze more. He isn't. He's thought about leaving the mafia time after time, there's always something holding him back. It's always one fucking thing. He's planned it out and everything, Higuchi even said she'd help him leave, she'd leave with him, too. They even have everything packed back at the apartment. All the essentials. And yet... There's still one thing holding him back. "I... I hate it here. I hate it here so fucking much..." Ryunosuke starts, looking back up at Atsushi, "But... Gin..." "Don't think about Gin for once," He says, he's gotten down on his knees in front of Akutagawa, bringing them to the same level, "You've cared for her your entire life, you've been a stand in parent since the age of like... Four or five, it's really amazing, Ryunosuke," Atsushi says with a smile. "But-" "But, you never should have had to be that. And you don't need to be that anymore. You're like, twenty now, right?" Akutagawa nods. "She's sixteen. She can take care of herself and make her own decisions. The mafia has never once posed as a threat against her, and Gin is a strong woman. You raised her that way," Atsushi insists, "She can hold up against the mafia easily." Ryunosuke feels himself tear up, and he begins to rub at his eyes with his blood stained sleeve. He feels Rashomon curl around his tighter, like a hug, almost. "Wh, why are you telling me this?" Akutagawa replied, his voice is trembling. It's disgusting. "Ryunosuke..." Atsushi responds, he reaches out a hand and cups the left side of Ryunosuke's face, despite all the blood and tears, "Ryunosuke, leave the mafia. Please." "I... I don't have anywhere to go..." He answers. It's a lie. He has many places to go, but it'll be hard trying to reform his identity completely. It's be hard to completely erase Ryunosuke Akutagawa from his world, especially after everything that he's done. It would be easy if Akutagawa just killed himself. Atsushi's hand pulls away from his face, and instead reaches out to help Akutagawa up with a knowing smile. "Then come join the Armed Detective Agency, Ryunosuke." -- It's easier than Akutagawa ever anticipated. Though, it's mostly because of all the leg work Higuchi and Gin put into this. Gin was much more happy than Akutagawa thought, as well. She was happy Akutagawa was finding a path that wasn't about protecting her. Just a path to make him happy. ... But she decided to stay behind, like she did every time Ryunosuke offered to get her out of the mafia, too. The mafia is home to Gin. They didn't beat her and berate her most of her career, like they did to Ryunosuke. It's obvious why she'd feel that way. It only took a few days for Atsushi to secure a place in the agency for Akutagawa. From what he heard, Atsushi, Kyouka, and Dazai all vouched for him. "Fukuzawa is a kind man. He would never refuse you, or anybody in need," Atsushi had said. He was right. Within at least two weeks of Atsushi finally convincing Akutagawa to leave the mafia, Akutagawa had moved into the agency living quarters. He ended up moving in with Atsushi, with Kyouka having finally gotten a place of her own. It wasn't tough for Akutagawa to move in, he really didn't own all that much. Living in the mafia is tough, because everyday could be your death day. There was no point in owning a lot. ... What was hard was living without Gin for the first time in sixteen years. He called her every night, thought about her every second of the day. Sometimes, it was all her could think about. At least in the mafia, Akutagawa would know where she was. But now, he has no such privilege. Soon enough, the test for joining the agency came up. Of course, Akutagawa had no idea it was a test, like usual for agency members. The test must have took longer to develop, due to Akutagawa having already known just about everyone at the agency and mafia, he was hard to fool. They ended up pulling from the guild. A girl named Lucy, a former guild member, posed as a threat by holding Atsushi hostage, saying she wants to take revenge for what the agency did to the guild by blowing up the entire building, coffee shop and all. She gave Akutagawa the choice of saving Atsushi or join forces with her to blow up the whole building. Akutagawa managed to get Atsushi out of the hostage situation, putting his own life at risk instead while Kyouka "disarmed" the bomb. In the end, Akutagawa passed the test and joined the agency officially. -- "You should get rid of that coat, you know," Dazai said. Most of the agency members where in the coffee shop on break. Akutagawa had ordered a tea while Dazai sipped at an energy drink. "I don't think you're in the position to really say that," Akutagawa protested calmly, "It means a lot to me." "It was mine," Dazai replied, "Do you really want to keep those memories?" Akutagawa paused, setting down his cup of tea. Dazai was right in a way, the coat carried so many memories of the abuse he endured, and even before that, it carries the memories of the abuse Dazai endured. ... It was gifted to Akutagawa because Dazai often ended up lending it to him after Dazai hurt him. Akutagawa got injured and suffered so much at Dazai's hand that the coat was already practically his before Dazai officially gave it to him. There are so many blood stains on this coat, so much blood on innocent people on it. It has at least three generations of child abuse in the mafia on it. Akutagawa felt his hands begin to shake as he quickly picked up the cup of tea again, trying to mask his anxiety. "I don't want to think about that, Dazai-san. Don't remind me." Dazai dropped the subject. -- "Ryuu-san," Atsushi starts, "Are you okay?" He's sitting beside Akutagawa on their shared couch, sharing a pot of tea after a long day of work. Akutagawa had come to appreciate Atsushi's company, Atsushi had a way of making him feel comfortable and safe. ... He liked cuddling Atsushi, too, but that aside. "I think I made Dazai-san uncomfortable today. We were talking about the coat I wear, it used to be his..." Akutagawa replied, "I think I only remind him of his past, of his time at the Port Mafia... I don't think he wants me here at all, I've only complicated his life..." Atsushi sets down his cup as he pulled Akutagawa in for a hug. Atsushi smells of vanilla and early gray tea, hints of lavender from the laundry detergent he uses. His hair is soft, and the pressure of his hugs always manage to calm Akutagawa down. ... He's just so nice, it's not fair. "Ryuu, he wanted you to be here, remember? He vouched for you to be at the agency," Atsushi reminded him softly, and Akutagawa can feel Atsushi start to run his fingers through his hair, "I think he just wants you to be happy and safe, Ryuu. He's just not too great at conveying it. Don't think too much of it, okay?" Akutagawa nods slowly, burying his face in Atsushi's shoulder. Dazai-san can hate him all he wants, Akutagawa could care less, as long as he had Atsushi. As long as Atsushi is here, the whole world could end and Ryunosuke wouldn't bat an eye. Atsushi is just that special. -- "How do you tell if you like someone?" Ryunosuke asked. He was over at Higuchi's new apartment, helping her make dinner. Gin was coming over later today, they were going to have a little family dinner as a celebration of Higuchi getting her new job. She landed a job as a manager at a bridal shop, and she's never been happier. Akutagawa is just happy to see her finally get the happy ending she's been working so hard for. "Like, romantically?" Higuchi asks, looking over to Akutagawa as she fries up some vegetables. "Yes," Akutagawa responds, "I'm having complicated feelings on someone, and I've just now realized that... I've never really had a crush on someone." "Ah, you're on the aroace spectrum, right?" Higuchi asked, to which Akutagawa nodded, "Well, crushes are weird. It's hard to explain romantic attraction. I guess you can start with questions, do you want to pend the rest of your life with this person?" Ryunosuke thought for a moment before nodding, "I think it'd be nice if I did..." "Do you have any sexual attraction towards that person? Not that that really matters, but it's good to consider." Akutagawa continues chopping vegetables as he thinks, then nodding a no, "I don't think so. Though I wouldn't mind having sex with him, if that's what he wanted." "That's pretty new for you," Higuchi replied, snatching the cutting board Akutagawa was using and dumping the rest of the sliced vegetables into her pan, "I mean, it sounds like a romantic crush, but I'm not great at romance, so take my words with a grain of salt." Akutagawa smiled a bit, "Thanks, Ichiyo." The blonde chuckles a bit, "Of course, Ryunosuke." -- After leaving a sealed envelope on Atsushi's desk, Ryunosuke went downstairs to join the rest of the agency for a celebratory lunch. Kyouka stayed upstairs with him, too, saying she'd cover for him to make it less obvious that Ryunosuke left the letter. He sat down beside Atsushi, who had apparently already ordered him his favorite tea, and was now chatting with Dazai. "Hey, you got rid of the coat!" Dazai comments, looking over to Akutagawa. Today is the first time in years that Akutagawa went without wearing the coat. He nodded, "Yes, you made me realize something a couple weeks ago. I decided to toss it today, and I'll get a new one at some point." Dazai smiles, "You've come a long way, kiddo." Akutagawa rolled his eyes, "Don't call me that." Kyouka comes down the stairs, brushing off her skirt as she promptly gets on the table Atsushi, Dazai, and Akutagawa are sitting at, standing on it. Akutagawa snatches his cup from off the table to prevent it from spilling. "Everybody, I have an announcement," Kyouka says, as most of the agency looks up at her, "I adopted a rabbit, his name is Shigeo." The agency starts clapping at Kyouka looks down, then continuing, "Wait, that wasn't the announcement... I mean, correction. The real announcement is that Kunikida and Dazai's wedding date has officially been confirmed, and it'll happen within a couple weeks. Kunikida is placing invitations now." Everyone in the coffee shop begins to clap and cheer this time as Kyouka smiles, sitting back down on the table. "You didn't tell me you were engaged!" Atsushi said, looking back at Dazai. "Ah, you had more important things to hear, didn't want to overwhelm you with that," Dazai explained, "But it seems everything solved itself, hm? So, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be the best man?" Atsushi smiles and nods, "I'd love to!" Akutagawa is barely paying attention to their conversation, finding himself looking at Atsushi with a slight smile. "Hey," Kyouka says, nudging Akutagawa with her foot, "Maybe you'll be the one getting married next year." Akutagawa blushed, hiding his face in his hands, "Don't say such foolish things." "I mean it, though," she said, "You make him happy, Akutagawa. You've come such a long way, everyone at the agency is proud of you." Akutagawa lifts his head up, looking back at Kyouka before looking at everyone in the agency, having a fun time, laughing, smiling. ... It feels nice to be part of something like this. "I think... I am finally satisfied."

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #ryunosuke akutagawa #dazai osamu #kyouka izumi #higuchi ichiyo #gin akutagawa #shin soukoku #akuatsu #fanfiction #writing #writer #writers

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