#well im assuming he’s rich asf

[hell0jon]

Yeah Jon and Martin would be around 50 years old in this universe if they weren’t dead

Yeah Basira is a teacher in this universe

Yeah Georgie is paranoid in this universe

BUT TREVOR IS RICH??? NUH UH

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt. 9:

season 3, episode 1, “Ride”:

- here we go season three‼️‼️

- give me some gay shit

- i just SMASHED an angel heart and an iced coffee so i am ready to go

- i do recall this episode being very gay in a very Gatsby way so i’m feeling excited

- i love rich people they’re so terrible

- winnie not saying “come home safe” to thursday because they’re all still shook up over what happened

- thursday assuming jakes would be the person to see morse

- “not since he got out.”

- ^jakes picked morse up from prison and also visited him in prison confirmed

- this whole episode proved that morse was well liked even though he doesn’t like being around people

- people. like. him.

- he’s a loner because he chooses to be. because HE thinks there’s something wrong with him

- they were not subtle with their plagiarism of Gatsby and i respect them for it

- going all in on the dark academia vibe

- thursday misses morse so much im SICK

- morse got invited to a party which means the gay stuff is gonna start happening

- monica deserved better ‼️‼️

- “he doesn’t want to be found”

- do you mean physically or spiritually queen?

- morse walking through this party has me cackling he’s so buttoned up

- roddy is gay for bixby

- i have 0 proof i’m going on vibes alone from a 0.2 second interaction

- thursday is wild for just breaking into morse’s house and waiting

- morse is absolutely gorgeous in maroon

- the way morse is so obviously trying to flirt with bixby and is confused when he doesn’t flirt back

- “and what’s the truth of you?”

- king CALM DOWN

- morse looks at bixby like hes another mystery to solve which means he is immediately obsessive and attached

- “you hardly know me!” “gamblers instinct”

- this translates directly to “ur hot”

- morse taking on bixby’s mentality to decide how to approach his life is so…

- “how was it?”

- strange i need you to reconsider the questions you ask

- he was a COP in PRISON

- this woman is awfully quick to assume morse is attracted to her

- the way he’s so uncomfy 😭😭

- given that jakes is the one who went to go see him in prison and given that he is clearly upset that morse is gone and given that he thinks he won’t be coming back…

- jakes is the only one who knows what morse went through in prison

- he knows!

- and he’s mad morse isn’t coming back

- “i wouldn’t hold your breath”

- he’s mad

- i need answers ‼️

- morse looks jealous asf that bixby’s attention is tacked onto Kay instead of him

- it is so unfair that both Kay AND bixby are using morse to get to each other

- like literally using him and for what

- “are you falling in love with me? men do.” “i can see how that might happen.” “then why don’t you kiss me?”

- i fucking HATE these manic pixie dream girls in the sort of episode

- like shut up

- no girl acts like this

- immediately jumping to his boyfriends protection 🙄🙄

- munch.

- “bix, you could have any woman in the world.”

- and then IMMEDIATELY looking ashamed for having said it

- he is basically saying “you could have anyone. you could have me. so why her?”

- them on the dock together is so intimate

- you can tell they feel it’s the last they’ll see of each other

- even though they don’t know why

- a romantic opera playing during this scene (depicting a forlorn man finding his lover dead)

- jakes being the only person to try and talk to him after he finds bixby 🥲

- morse trying to express to thursday why he feels like he doesn’t wanna come back and thursday being like “stop being a pussy and get used to it” is so insane

- bright is doing his absolute best to apologize and i gotta respect him for it

- my mom giggles every time thursday speaks (she has 0 clue what’s going on idk why she’s watching w me)

- morse opening up about prison makes me 🫤

- he didn’t know whether thursday was alive or not for so long 🫤🫤

- rich people in this time period really just stood around in silence drinking and smoking and thats all

- wish i was them

- ope nvm they also got abused by their husbands i do not wanna be them

- thursday WOULD love magic shows

- he is that bitch

- after morse got shot he reacted poorly to everything from a door slamming to a car backfiring; thursday gets shot and he lets a magician fully point a gun at him and fire for FUN

- heroin feels like such a random tie in to this episode

- like it makes sense in the plot but why

- morse is awfully quick to defend bixby despite not knowing him at all

- little bit 💅

- i know he met bixby in a vulnerable state and was glad to have that sort of attention but he is soooo determined to prove bixby is a good person despite FULLY knowing it isn’t true

- which is insane

- and gay

- you gotta be some kind of freak to have a portrait of someone you have no official attachments to hanging above your bed

- i know kay is supposed to be a sort of rattled and traumatized character but i don’t like the way they wrote her at all

- her entire character feels misogynistic

- even my mom doesn’t like it and that’s telling

- “bixby” being alive is so fucking funny to me

- gay people don’t die ‼️

- roddy deserved better! he was j a lil gay guy there was no need for all this hatred

- morse and jakes are so cold with each other this episode i hate it

- i know we don’t get to know anything about jakes as a person in this show but listen

- i feel like he’s intentionally really closed off and defensive and that’s why he’s especially defensive to morse

- morse is able to figure people out so easily and jakes knows that and he doesn’t like it

- he doesn’t want to be figured out

- so it makes sense that he would be particularly cold to morse (especially given that morse is presumably the only one who knows about his Blenheim Vale background)

- jakes just appearing in the shadows while morse is talking

- like what r u doing babe??

- this man killing his son after everything gets found out is so??

- and not a single person did anything about it

- jakes 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

- finding out where the coin flip thing came from is fucking sickening

- i will say that i enjoy the notion that morse falls in love really easily and that BECAUSE of that he’s a loner

- also the camera lingering on bixby’s face and morse just staring after they lead you to think he’s watching the film for kay???? that’s queer cinema

- “bixby didn’t belong in their world anymore than i do. did. i wanted to tell him that the last night i saw him. he was better than that.”

- morse convincing himself he could have saved bixby if he told them that neither of them belonged in that world

- because he thinks bixby would have gone with him

- like??

- “there’s no real magic in the world. only love. the rest is just smoke and mirrors.”

- him saying that all that was real between them was the love 🫤🫤🫤

- 10/10 for gay this episode

[beomglocks]

alSOALSO since you said yeonjun is a rich!dilf, any headcanons on this cuz im just all over the place with aotm yeonjun😩!!! HE IS JUST SO FINE GODDAMNIT-

well here’s this gif then ^ 🤗

richdilf!yeonjun headcanons

warnings & other: ofc writing this assuming the reader is LEGAL and of age, if you’re not comfortable w age gaps dni!, this is short bc i wanna save the good stuff for an actual fic 🤗

is actually really nice???

like i feel like he would meet you by coming up to you if you’ve spilled coffee on yourself by bumping into him (or something like that) and he’s like let me buy you a new shirt

like huh

a new shirt???

usually, people will just offer to help you clean up (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

why would you refuse i mean

look at him

that's when you find out he's rich asf

like corporate rich

he walks with a confident dominant aura as if no one can touch him

because no one can

good thing he’s nice tho!

definitely has a set of rules

if you break any of them good luck charlie

will shove a vibrator in you and make you beg for forgiveness

he doesn’t play and he doesn’t take shit

but tbh riling him up is fun

bc you'll get a good couple of orgasms from it

is into some outlandish kinks too

you have a safe word

anyways rich dilf

has 2 kids

who are probably spoiled brats

maknae line

but you see he likes you bc you don’t really care abt his money all that much

this is why you always get gifts and presents from him

really wanted a sub to spoil and someone to have to pleasure him

he’s busy and barely has time for his actual wife

lol that’s where you come in

giving head in the office after hours is probably his favorite vibe

it’s yeonjun so obviously possessiveness trope

hates seeing you around other men

hates bringing you to events

hates when people stare at you for too long

just hates that other people have to perceive you like why can’t he be the only one to know of your existence

nicki minaj said it best

rich sex

y’all fuck in expensive places

his bugatti veyron that’s always parked outside his house bc he never uses it

his alaskan king size bed (that you notice he normally sleeps alone in)

random luxury restaurant he took you to just bc you gave him good head the other day

don’t be surprised if one day you’re greeted by the sight of dollar bills covering the bed and new lingerie set

a note in fancy letters saying “ill be home in a bit”

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

[renaerougr]

My thoughts on Chameleon (Overanalysis... kinda)

Before starting let me remember you that: 

Overanalyze: to analyse (something) in too much detail.

So don’t expect this to be super realistic ok? This is gonna be absurdlyyyyyy long and I tend to blow things out of proportion a lot I’m just saying

So let’s start with the less important and more boring stuff (Actually I’m analysing scenes in order of appearance, but there’s not really much to say about the beginning aside from “Lila is a bitch lol”) 

ok so,

guys,

GUYS

Idk if you all have realised that from all the students in the class, they chose to use Sabrina to be serving Lila, which is kinda weird. If you pay attention, it makes sense for all the other people around her to be there (Mylène and Rose love helpinh people, Juleka is always hanging out with Rose, Max is the nerdy type so he probably loves learning about the bs Lila is making up and since Kim isn’t exactly smart he’s fascinated with Lila’s lies too) but SABRINA?!?! That girl is always following Chloé everywhere, one of these two things has to be happening here:

1. Sabrina had an argument with Chloé? I’m sure Chloé wouldn’t let her hang out with other people so easily (She doesn’t have anyone else to be with if Sabrina hangs out with other people)

2. Since Adrien is nowhere to be seen in this scene either I’m assuming both Chloé and he don’t have lunch at school, which makes sense, they’re the rich kids™ . This means this is the only time of the day when Sabrina can spend time with her other classmates, and she’s using it to serve another person, that’s kinda sad.

I think it’s more likely to be the 2nd one, but anyways this could be foreshadowing that we’re not going to see Sabrina with Chloé that much anymore? (Miraculous can be VERY subtle with foreshadowings) 

Honestly, even if Sabrina is the character I like the least, I can’t say I’m not going to be mad if she stops going after Chloé to go after Lila. On the positive side this implies that Chloé would be forced to look for new friends, and obviously she’d go to Adrien, and do you know who Adrien hangs out with???? Yeah you’re right Marinette, Alya and Nino!! Does this mean Chloé could be part of the main squad in the future? :o I mean they already have to deal with her in superhero mode

Ok let’s continue;

This isn’t really important but lmao I can’t believe Lila has been 5 mins inside the school and she already knows about Mari’s crush, this girl is so obvious

(FJASHFJDFJHJKFHJSDK HER FACE IM SORRY) 

“I only tell people what they want to hear”

When I heard this line the first time I found it interesting, I wonder if it has to do with Lila’s backstory (If she even has one), or if she has come to the point she believes her lies are true, since she never seems to admit she’s “lying”... This is also what compulsive liars tend to say, but I think we all already knew that she is one lmao

Anyway, shortly after that, Lila switches to this pose:

(Chloé’s picture is from Season 2, Malediktator)

And as you can see, this pose is Chloé’s pose (Like seriously I can’t be the only one who instantly thought of Chloé when she did that pose). In my opinion this small gesture is trying to tell us that she’s the new rival, kind of like a substitute for Chloé who is now supposedly redeemed, we don’t have to fear Chloé anymore Lila is the new villain in the school and she’s much much worse. (jfhasjkfdhk I just realised right after this scene Marinette says something like “I thought Chloé was evil but Lila really takes the whole cake!” so I guess I was right lol)

Nothing important, just wanted to mention that she looks like hawkmoth when he says “*Akumatized person name*, I aM hAwKmOtH”,,, I guess that’s intriguing

Ok so after this we have an angry marinette and then a short scene with adrien and lila which I don’t really care about, tho in that specific part, her voice in the english dub sounds so annoying (”sO I hEaRd YoU pLaY pIaNOoOOoOo”)

Then the episode cuts back to Marinette in the bathroom stall, she’s angry so the akuma comes closer.

I know it’s painfully obvious, but, now we know that akumas fly directly into the miraculous! For some reason I always assumed that if she or adrien were to be akumatized the akuma would fly into Mari’s purse or Adrien’s bag.

Why does this matter? Well, this confirms that Adrien getting akumatized would be much worse than Ladybug getting akumatized, because if Chat was akumatized no one would be able to destroy the miraculous to take the akuma out of it, but if Ladybug was akumatized Chat could use cataclysm and after that and Mari could purify the akuma and everything would be ok again

YOU CAN GRAB AKUMAS WITH YOUR HANDS 

This might seem silly but this implies that you can fight akumas lol,,, seriously tho I wonder if you can kill akumas or something by crushing them into the wall or stepping on them. This also proves that akumas can’t get into living objects which is great I guess, we don’t want to slice people just to purify an akuma.

Another thing that I have to mention is that she put the akuma in her earring, in. her. EARRINGS. Like at this point I’m sure this is foreshadowing that she’ll get a miraculous, I don’t know how but come on

The first time she got akumatized the akuma landed into a fake fox miraculous

(Season 1, Volpina)

The second time she got akumatized the akuma got in her bracalet (Turtle miraculous? Anyone?)

And now it’s her earrings

Like I don’t know what this girl is planning but I’m 99.99% sure she’ll get her hands on a real miraculous, and it’s gonna be real dangerous if she does. Maybe she gets to steal the Ladybug miraculous? Maybe the Cat one?

(I’m gonna talk about the leak now so skip the next few lines if you don’t want to know) 

Imagine that Volpina gets the Ladybug miraculous and tries to get the cat miraculous by herself without Hawkmoth’s help, Chat being confused asf goes to see Master fu (supposing he finally learns about him), he gives him a miraculous, like he usually does when marinette comes,and Adrien chooses the mouse miraculous. Obviously he gives it to her good fRIEND Marinette.

TALKING ABOUT THE LEAK IS OVER

Dude I love Lila but why does she have to be so evil dammit 

ok let’s proceed

lmao this screenshot

“Hawkmoth, I am Lila.”

THIS IS SO COOL BECAUSE at this point Lila thinks she’s in control but she’s really not, I’m 100% sure she’ll end up being used by Hawkmoth and then “thrown away”, Hawkmoth  has the powers after all. Yet by not even letting him start talking she’s showing that she thinks she’s superior and that she’s the real villain, she doesn’t even realise that without Papillon she isn’t anything. Can’t wait to see how their relationship evolves or if she’ll really get betrayed by Hawky AAAAAAAAA

This is not relevant but, honey... What friendship? You (Adrien, not Lila) have ignored him for a whole season.

THIS. SCENE.

I’m dying because I KNOW this scene means something but I can’t figure it out, doesn’t Lila hate BOTH Ladybug and Chat Noir? Doesn’t she hate all superheroes?? And still, even if she doesn’t, why would she take Chat Noir’s balloons??? WHAT DOES THIS REPRESENT? Maybe there’s nothing behind it?? I don’t know man

After that Lila throws Adrien (herself) once again from the Eiffel Tower, she knows that Adrien is important for Ladybug, she took the CN’s balloons before, dammit does she know their identities?????? It doesn’t look like it but perhaps she’s the only smart parisian who figured out their identites (I mean, the fact that Adrien and Marinette are the only ones who know she’s lying makes them suspects right?? I feel like I’m reaching with this tbh)

Lila once again with her superiority attitude and going against Hawkmoth plans, lots of villains do this so it isn’t surprising but still. Interesting how she is convinced she is in control, I’m curious if this “bad attitude” with Papillon will grow bigger and bigger in the rest of the season... I mean, akumatized people always have a little bit of respect for Hawkmoth

Our boy Nino out here having an existential crisis over losing his cap lol

Oh BOY we’re going to see much more from Lila in this season. With her and Mayura season 3 is going to get dangerous asf for Mari and Chat. Again, I’m really excited to see what she’s planning, I’m really excited to see what everyone is planning tbh

And lastly, we have this small conversation between Marinette and Adri. I know that what Adrien said caused a lot of backlash but in my opinion it makes sense. 

At first I thought he said so because it’s unecessary to cause more drama and the class wouldn’t believe her anyway, so what’s really the point? But then I realised he was saying so because of Lila’s probable response, she gets really angry when she gets caught and she wouldn’t even want to admit she was lying even if it were obvious that she was. As Chat Noir, his job is to make people not upset so there’s less akumas, specially Lila since she’s proven that she’s a tough enemy. Also, he’s right about not making the bad guy suffer, it never works so that’s another thing.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I’m convinced that sharing this secret will help them bond, I can see them ranting about Lila’s lies or Adrien comforting Mari when Lila gets her on her nerves. This is not the best way to make evolve the love square but I’m all here for it, even if Lila’s lies are not the best thing to bond over, it’s their little secret.

Maybe when everyone is hanging out around Lila these two will keep company to each other uwu (And probably Chloé, Alya and Nino will end up joining them as soon as Lila mentions the other heroes)

oh hi there hawky

SO I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this, I’m sure I’ve missed lots of things (Although I skipped some stuff because they’re everywhere on Tumblr already) So please add the interesting stuffs you’ve seen on the episode!! Also feel free to debunk all of what I said!! That’s cool too! Don’t worry I’m not an expert on Miraculous and it’s better not to spread “false” theories

[cannedapricot]

Christmas Party! Wanna One

last installment of the christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!! it’s been great working with you two!! <33333

welcome to the college that loves having excuses to throw parties

after the mess that was the traditional halloween party

there’s a christmas party!

except this party is organised by the school and no one should die during it!

it’s a formal event which means everyone needs to dress up

honestly,,, everyone’s broke asf and if it weren’t for the free food no one would show up

everyone wears the same suit/dress to the party every year lMAO BITCH THAT SHIT IS CRAZY EXPENSIVE NO ONE CAN AFFORD A NEW ONE EVERY YEAR

guanlin can but that’s because he got the money

the boy’s stinking rich and he loves showing it off to the rest of wanna one

so guanlin is not included in the everyone :)

when ong asks in the group chat if anyone was planning on going to the christmas party, no one replied for a good five hours

“um??? guys????? answer me???”

“iS EVERYONE DEAD OR WHAT”

“FINE IM ASSUMING NO ONE’S GOING THEN GEEZ”

then woojin steps out of the exam room, replying, 

“why don’t we just have our own lol fuck the school”

woojin gets 183527 replies of agreement

ong’s just,,,,,

“oK I SEE THAT EVERYONE LOVES WOOJIN BUT NOT ME :’C”

“oh shit were we obvious?”

“well, fuck you kim jaehwan”

the boys decided to meet up at the campus cafe to talk about this ‘illegal’ christmas party lol what a bunch of nerds

you,,,, well,,,, you didn’t see this notice

you turned off notifications for the chat because of that one time where daniel and sungwoon got drunk together and wouldn’t stop texting the group chat at four in the morning

and forgot to turn the notifs back on rip

you were on your merry way back to campus from a bakery

theY SOLD THE BEST FRUIT TARTS ON THIS PLANET

you were ready to waste your time watching home alone while noming on the tarts

LOL U THOUGHT

ENTER: BAE JINYOUNG AND LEE DAEHWI

the two were also on their merry way towards the cafe

they were skipping, arms wrapped around each other

but you caught their eye anD YOU’RE NOT ON YOUR WAY TOWARDS THE CAMPUS CAFE

throwing each other a glance, they nodded

anD DRAGGED YOU TOWARDS THE CAFE WITH THEM

YOU LEGIT THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING KIDNAPPED

also you dropped your tart >:’(

after you got dragged half way across campus

yOU WERE READY TO THROW HANDS

HOW D A R E

“fucking finally, we waited forever for you three”

“paRK JIHOON!!! LANGUAGE!!!”

????

you got forced in between minhyun and jisung

who both fussed over your messy hair and snowy clothes

three tables were pushed together to accommodate everyone

and you just????

“uh,,, i didn’t know our squad meeting dates changed”

the whole groups inhales

“my christmas wish this year is that y/n turns on her notifs again”

“hA not happening”

an fucking hour of useless banter happens and y’all slowly forget why all twelve of you were squeezed into a cafe

until minhyun catches sight of he time and realizes that hE HAS TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING SO HE AND JAEHWAN DON’T STARVE

and everyone suddenly shifts to the topic of christmas party lol

“whose dorm??”

“NO THANKS. WE ALL REMEMBER THE LAST PARTY WE HAD”

HELL

THE LAST PARTY Y’ALL THREW

WAS WHEN JISUNG AND MINHYUN WERE OUT OF TOWN ON A GEOGRAPHY TRIP

AND THEY CAME BACK TO JISUNG AND SUNGWOON’S SHARED OFF CAMPUS APARTMENT TO FIND EVERYONE PASSED OUT WITH SHIT STREWN EVERYWHERE

needless to say,,, jisung rounded everyone up and scolded ev e r y o n e

while minhyun cleaned up

probably talking shit under his breath

upon hearing jisung rejecting the ‘offer’

everyone pouted

“but you and sungwoon have an apartment!! it’s huge!!!!”

“our dorms are on campus and they’re tiny :c”

“lOL I DON’T SEE WHY NOT. LETS DO IT AGAIN”

“SUNGWOON I AM UR FLATMATE PLS TALK WITH ME BEFORE YOU-”

 “YAY 2SUNG’S APARTMENT IT IS THEN”

jisung quickly said that this party had to be organised!!!!

but then came another problem

the school party had this fancy red carpet

and the red carpet pictures end up in the yearbook

anD WELL,,,, W1 DONT WANNA MISS THIS CHANCE

“listen,,,, i got an idea”

jihoon scoots closer to the center of the tables

and told you guys to do so as well

it loOKS LIKE Y’ALL PLANNING TO KILL SOMEONE IM-

“let’s escape the party after the red carpet”

don’t ask me why

but

y’all thought it was a great idea

in the end, 2sung were in charge of decorating the place, minhwan were in charge of the food, ongniel were in charge of the eggnog (and non-alcoholic drinks for the minors) and the two sausages were in charge of choosing movies for the marathon :’)))

this was chosen through paper scissors rock

sO EVERYONE ELSE WERE ONLY REQUIRED TO SHOW UP LOL

cut to christmas day

everyone was looking fine af in their attire

and guanlin was showing off his 193728th new suit

you sat the red carpet out

because getting dressed up was a hassle

so you arrived at 2sung’s apartment before any of the boys 

and took a while looking for the spare keys jisung hid osbgofbs

opening the door, you gasp

sungwoon and jisung went all out decorating the place

the christmas tree stood stunningly in the corner, mistletoe hung in the most unsuspecting places, garlands hung from the walls and fairy lights gave the place a warm glow

the first thing you do?

jump onto the pile of bean bags of course lmao

and while you fall asleep in your festive attire,

the boys were pulling some kingsman shit in their suits lmao

liKE,,,,

THE MAKNAE LINE WERE ROLLING AROUND LIKE THERE WERE LASERS

AND THE HYUNG LINE WERE LIKE 

“its ok we have umbrellas if shit goes out of hand”

BOSEBGDSOBG

IMAGINE ELEVEN BOYS RUNNING IN SUITS LMAO

WHAT KIND OF MV-

and when they get into the van they rented out especially for this ‘mission’,

“quiCK ONG, STEP ON IT”

what a fucking mess

they arrive at the apartment looking like the hot mess they were

and you, who just woke from slumber, asked,

“what the fuck”

the boys proceed to try squeeze into the small toilet

“i neED TO CHANGE--”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY IM OLDER THAN ALL OF YOU--”

“MY DRESS SHIRT IS R  UIN E D”

if you didn’t love these boys, 

you might’ve strangled every one of them already

to your surprise, daniel pushes his way out of the crowd, changed and laughing like no tomorrow, first

and he immediately goes towards the eggnog

wow as expected tbfh

oK BUT EVERYONE WOULD LOOK 1000000% SOFTER IN CHRISTMAS JUMPERS DO NOT FIGHT ME ON THIS

“lmao you look stupid”

“you look even more stupid 😤”

jaehwan brought his guitar with him

and everyone danced to his improvised carol like it was some lit shit?????

how drunk are y’all smh

daniel twerked 

also woojin tried to sneak some eggnog 

but minhyun caught him

and now minhyun’s on minor drink supervision

daehwi and jinyoung got caught under mistletoe at one point!!!

evERYONE STARTED CHANTING

“KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS”

AND DAEHWI PULLED THRU

AND SMOOCHED BAEJIN’S CHEEK

THE APARTMENT WAS THEN FULLED WITH SCREAMS

sduOFIBOS

guanlin got jihoon a framed picture of himself as a present

by the end of the night, half of you were wasted and the other half were high on sugar

liKE,,,, Y’ALL HAD THE LIGHTS ON AND WERE WATCHING THE HARRY POTTER SERIES

BUT YOU GUYS COULDN’T STOP GIGGLING?????

one by one, you guys loose your energy,,

and fall asleep on each other

the apartment becomes silent

the only light and sound coming from the tv and crackling fireplace

it was, a very merry christmas

filled with dumb shit but thats ok

merry christmas!!! <33333 i hope everyone spent it happily!! this is the last of the christmas collab  sivdbsoaobvd i hope everyone enjoyed it!!! aaaaa,,,,,, i’m sorry if this is short,,,,, mY BRAIN IS IN FOOD COMA RN I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD AOBDVOAB