#well i guess it was the 70s
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The next time you need to get rid of something, just remember Kamen Rider's favourite disposal tactic: throw it in the fucking pacific ocean!
#why has he done this twice in nine episodes. my guy what about the environmental repercussions#well i guess it was the 70s#im watchin the og kr in preparation for shin kr!#yes i know i had 50+ years to do this but in my defence: i was not alive for many of those
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This is the devil’s hole pupfish! A tiny species that lives only in One water-filled limestone cavern in Nevada. It was one of the first animals on the endangered species list. At the last count in 2022 there were 263 pupfish observed - the most in 19 years! They’re tracked pretty carefully, as their 215 square foot habitat (the smallest of any know vertebrate) is fragile and has been disturbed in the past by groundwater extraction and other human interference.
[ID: an illustration of a shiny metallic blue fish, the male devil’s hole pupfish, facing to the right. It is on a lighter blue background with a ripple pattern. End.] l
#fish#fishes#fishblr#devils hole pupfish#icthyology#they were apparently controversial little guys in the 70s bc a family bought the land they’re on and tried to build a bunch of wells#and some agencies were like hey don’t build those here there are these pupfish#and I guess they went to court and it was a whole publicized thing and folks were getting bumper stickers that said either#save the pupfish or kill the pupfish#and the concept of being so self absorbed that you’re like I would rather a species go extinct forever than for one human family to have#wasted some money#and I’m gonna get a bumper sticker that informs you of this#is so fucking funny to me
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IDK who needs to hear this, but Egon and Ray aren't the only autistic og ghostbusters
Peter is too
Your telling me this man with two PhDs related to psychology, who always has the exact right thing to say to manipulate a situation to his favour (when it's a planned/known situation), but cocks up massively when it's an unknown situation, who has a massive reaction to getting slimed (more so than the others), who would rather joke all the time than take a situation seriously because wtf should he say
you're telling me this man is neurotypical?
nah
Winston's the only NT in this group (idk how he deals with these weirdos (affectionate))
#rambles#ghostbusters#the real ghostbusters#to be specific i guess#peter venkman#egon spengler#ray stantz#winston zeddemore#i've encountered a few autistic people like peter#it's mainly the focus on business and the intense interest in studying people and behaviour and the mind#but he gets so irritated and angry when he gets slimed#the same way i feel when oil or glue gets stuck on my skin#“but he's so good at social situations-” but that's just it!#he is!#because he studies people - studies their reactions - their interactions#a business chat always goes the same way so he can plan what to say to get the best thing out of it#when he flirts with women it seems to be the same way each time - like he's planned it - because he thinks it'll get a reaction he wants#and i dare say that Peter masks a lot more than Ray and Egon. i mean he was a probably more of a cool slacker type at uni and got on well#with more popular students (sorority house students? idk im not american) and yknow it was the 70s! couldnt exactly be fully himself#idk where im going with this - ive lost my train of thought#but yeah#peter is autistic as well and i'll die on this hill
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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i got an email today from my uni that was sent to all students from the faculty i'm in and it's a job offer for a project from the uni's school museum where they catalogue and analyze old school note/exercise books from 1820-1950s and...idk i should probably apply right??? They're not even asking for a CV (mine would be empty), how often do you get that lmao. And it's only 6 hours a week, starting this October and the project is supposed to last 3 months and there is a possibilty of the museum hiring you for longer. And i mean, if it sucks i guess i can push through the 3 months? should i do it ahhhh my panic brain is screaming but it's not often that there is a job offer that is that nice
#i have to take a pic in which i dont look like a huge idiot for the application and tell them why i want the job which is doable i guess#i mean the photo part will be difficult lol#it could very well be that i wont get the job anyway although it fits my studies very well so that might be a bonus point in their eyes#i'm just so nervous i never had a job if you dont count the two trial days in a restaurant & a drug store where i was constantly on the#edge of a complete panic#but I SHOULD DO THIS RIGHT????? I SHOULD DO THIS!!!!!!#i've really heavily considered applying for a shitty job these past weeks and now this that's a sign lmao#although i will start studying full time next semester and then a job on top will be hard but many ppl do it so i can too#also reading through real ppls school note books from 19th 70-200 yrs ago is pretty cool
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@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)
Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.
Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return.
Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them.
He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.
That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates.
Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.
Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word.
Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair.
It’s wonderful.
It's the worst.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.”
Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking.
“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.”
“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.”
Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends.
He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows.
“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.”
It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it.
“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears.
His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp.
“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.”
Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.
“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.”
"What if I take too much?"
"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."
“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does.
Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.
“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.”
The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat.
“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”
Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.
“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.
“I get you. I get everything.”
Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours.
#i didn't think i was gonna be able to do steddie week becuase it crept up on me and i haven't kept up#and i wasn't gonna post this but like i wrote this in like 40 minutes in a haze and then went on tumblr and saw one of the#prompts for day 1 was hunger and i had literally just written this thing where i used hunger as a metaphor so i went back and reread it#and did some edits and now im posting it#which well i usually stick to humor in my writing so this is always scary but here we are#this is so different from what i usually post but this is also representative of like 70% of my notes app i just dont share#this kind of writing but fuck it i guess#my writing#dels steddie thoughts#steddieweek2023#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#steddie fic#steddie week
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you won't believe the amount of bad movies i can watch
#i think i made this same kind of post a week or so ago. well we're back at it again#so far this is one is better than night watch bc this one is so bad it's good#our protagonist (???) is this hippie girl and the way she talks is so hysterically dated im obsessed.#maybe that was intentional. maybe all this is meant to distract us from whats really going on#i guess that could also be said of the movies theme song (there's a theme song. it was a very 70s romantic ballad. this is a horror movie.)#so if all this borderline goofy stuff so far has been intentional misdirection then actually this is pretty good. so far
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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As an American whose first chance to vote for a president was in 2016, my dream is that one day, I'll vote in an election that doesn't feel like I'm trying to fend off the literal end of the world as I know it.
#Seta Speaks#But more and more I feel like that's too much to ask#Back in the 70s and 80s it couldn't have been this stressful right? Right????#Like the people our parents voted for were normal scummy politicians and not a Wannabe Carrot Fascist??? I have to believe it's true#Or else literally the essence of democracy has always been rotten and oh well guess this will be the next some-odd decades of my life
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Sorry re your tags who on earth lets their daughter do her own laundry at age 8???? Did I and all my friends grow up that privileged???
i feel like that was fairly standard for where i grew up? tbf i’m from the american rural deep south so girls start cooking and cleaning before they can read lmao
#anon ask#i guess i should also qualify that i was raised by people in their 70s/80s and not uhhh parents#but i was in the fields picking food on our neighbors farms and then peeling potatoes/snapping beans/meal prepping from age like 5 lmao#but yeah i was doing my own laundry in like the 4th grade? and i know a lot of other girls who did as well#not the boys obvs bc they got to be kids until they were. married to women.
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so I fell in love with my husband's husband recently and went to follow his tag on here and the featured post for the tag is my own stupid post after the daggerheart stream
#i guess Tumblr knew before i did#sam riegel#liam o'brien#critical role husbands#critical role#daggerheart#the part of the campaign that made me fall in love was like somewhere in eps 70-80#later chroma conclave arc#scanlan is just so fucking phenomenal then#sam plays him so well#I'm so interested in his character
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holy moly. just hit 1k. thank you!!
#i didnt prepare anything for 1k honestly#this feels like it happened so quick even though its been over the course of several months#i believe when i came back here i was at around 70? then got to like 200 and then it just went up#800 for the daves i guess. and the few that came here for other stuff#and honestly i dont know what this blogs about now i just wanted to post everything here. and i like the tagging system so if you dont like#something you can mute it i guess? im not big into fnaf rn as theres nothing for me currently. if theres a hw dlc i might hop back in#as well as for any new games coming out#but hw2 was so short lived since the gameplay was out i a day and theres not much to theorize about etc. replayability is fine but#its not something to help me stay. and the movie did nothing for me and im worried i wont like the second either so im just focusing on#the games i guess. but then again no william no interest now. just how it be.. thats why im so whiny about the tse game#lotsa thoughts#on a positive note i luv sam and max now and if theres new stuff for sonic scu over the year i will bring that maybe#as well as sonic x shadow gens but thats a long way to go still#anyway. tldr thanks for following i hope theres something on my blog that will still interest you 🫡
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new phone: acquired
miles walked: 6
#i feel like i've been hit by a truck lmao#also i didnt get to transfer anything from my old phone yet. i have to do something with an hdmi cable and mirroring to a monitor#but well. guess who bought the wrong port hub at the store and has to go back tomorrow#AND IT COST $40? KILL ME#i found a cheaper one on amazon lol but i'll have to return this one. at least getting the wrong one actually saved me money in the end#anyway we had a great time! and i only got there an hour or two after them. which was still well before 70% of the rest of the group#and honestly was more than enough
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hm. maybe snapping and finally giving up on my 2% pen pressure tablet and buying a new one after a couple of weeks of putting up with it was some kind of lucky intuition. bc it is not working at all now
at least ordering it earlier means i should get a replacement tomorrow,,,silver linings????? 🎉🎉
#it is very periodically working but 90% of the time the pen isn't registering............wuh oh#shame bc i wanted to draw. but oh well it Is late#it might be the pen that's the problem. but a replacement pen is £40 and non returnable#and a new tablet was £70 with a discount that popped up so it wasn't worth the risk 😭😭#well. at least it didn't break while i was dogsitting this weekend i guess!!#fredspeaks
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Yay!! Micky stuff!!!
#micky dolenz#this was in a $1 bin at the comic book store nearby and i was so excited#i’ve found josie and the pussycats comics before and of course scooby doo but i didn’t even know they made butch cassidy comics!#but i guess they did#never really watched this show as a kid but it’s got micky voice acting in it so what does it matter#i’m a nut for the random gigs micky got post-monkees#and before#i have my circus boy books#might as well add to the micky collection#it’s so silly they made the character look like him but with red hair?#he’s got micky’s mouth though! :3#and he’s a drummer#like in the monkees of course#cause this show was early 70s#okay i’ll shut up im procrastinating homework
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seeing as they didn't hard launch today i'm reasonably confident they're not hard launching ever. and this is what i'll continue to tell myself to obtain a modicum of peace in the coming months :)
#i've secretely thought to myself that if they were going to hard launch this year it would be today#the day before tour starts#they can't do it on stage because well. you can only do it once#they wouldn't do it partway through tour#i guess i could see it happening post-tour but only if they plan on taking another hiatus/calling it a wrap#anyway now that today has passed i'm like 70% sure we may never get an official hard launch#but i would never claim to understand their evil machinations#no matter what happens i'm 10000% sure that if they do hard launch it will be while i'm at work 😒
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