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sleekervae · 2 years ago

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When in Rome... [Remington Leith x Reader] Part III

A/N: WOOHOO! Part 3! Should I do a part 4 wrap up? This is a good conclusion but there could always be more 👀. Song is "Cheap Love" by Bones UK ❤️

Warnings: Drinking, some cussing, implied smut

"Leave it to you to be late to a dance," Emerson tutted.

"Why are we still talking about this?" Remington asked him.

"Because you've been in a bear of a mood all morning," the brothers wandered through the streets of sunny Rome, still exhausted from the previous evening but still enthralled with the beautiful sights of the ancient city.

They trailed behind their friend group, with Emerson slowly yanking bits and pieces of just what had happened last night. After the band finished their set for the evening, he went to sit down before y/n could have any inkling of what was happening, and made out for the rest of the evening like nothing was wrong. However, y/n wasn't stupid. She picked off the shift in his mood immediately, despite his assurances that he was alright. She felt guilty for the rest of the evening, wondering if maybe she should've denied the baron's offer in the first place.

Y/n stayed lost in her own head, sneaking glances behind her shoulder at the brothers now and again. Remington had continued to stay quiet all morning and she was troubled by it. Her best friend would only give quick answers and barely looked her in the eye, it was as though he had shifted into a different person overnight and it terrified her.

"What do you think they're talking about?" she asked to nobody in particular. Rebecca had heard her, and not having been as involved in this drama, shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe they're discussing their movie premiere?" she then chuckled, "I guess it's not really a premiere. What's the point? I mean -- how long is a music video supposed to be?"

"They do it for their fans," y/n pointed out, "I've seen the plans anyway, it looks like it'll be a lot of fun. They got circus performers and a stage -- and they basically rented out the No Vacancy theatre for the night. They got this giant merch table --"

"Are you gonna' go?" Rebecca asked.

Y/n paused momentarily, taking another glance behind her shoulder. Her gaze locked with Remington's momentarily before he shifted back to his brother. Y/n sighed in defeat.

"I don't know," she answered.

Rebecca still wasn't catching on, "Well, how about their tour? You gonna' open for the band?"

"Not this one," y/n shook her head, "Management is talking about the European tour next year, though,"

"Hmm, that should be fun," Rebecca noted, tossing her long dark hair behind her shoulder, "You're already in tourist practice right now!"

Y/n forced a smile, "Yeah, yeah it should be fun,"

"Anyway, anyway -- you have to spill!" Rebecca declared.

Y/n furrowed a brow, "Spill what?"

"Your dance last night!" she cried wistfully, "You were personally asked by a Duke to dance in one of the nicest restaurants in Rome! You cannot tell me you're indifferent to that!"

Y/n feigned a smile but she couldn't disagree more. She enjoyed her conversations last night, there was no doubt, but she would pass over a thousand dukes, barons, princes and whatnot if Remington would have only asked her to dance instead.

"I think he was a baron," y/n corrected.

"Oh, whatever," Rebecca replied, "What did you guys talk about? Did he ask for your number?"

"He probably has people do that for him," y/n replied bluntly.

Her friend rolled her tired eyes in dismay, "God, you're always so cynical..."

"Well, come on Rebecca! I mean, he was a nice guy and he was pleasant to talk to, but even if he did ask me for my phone number, I'd decline,"

"You're kidding," Rebecca gawked, "You'd full-on deny a baron?"

Y/n scowled, "What is this, Bridgerton? It would never work out, Rebecca! I'm a singer and he's royalty. Our jobs are complicated, the time difference is ridiculous -- not to mention he's way older than me!"

"He's thirty-seven and you're twenty-eight!"

"I rest my case,"

Rebecca chuckled cynically, "I'm not trying to make you the next Meghan Markle, y/n, but I thought you'd be more excited! You got noticed by Italian royalty! I'd be flipping my shit right now,"

Y/n glanced over her shoulder again as Rebecca rambled on. Remington and Emerson continued to trail behind, seemingly bickering together in angry whispers. Perhaps they were indeed arguing about her, or probably something more important like their upcoming album, their theatre, or even what they wanted for lunch. Either way, y/n was disheartened time and time again as she had to face the ugly truth of her circumstance.

"Like I said; it just wouldn't work out..."

---

Tonight would be their last night in Rome before they would move on to the region of Florence. However, they would be catching a concert before traveling, and Remington and Emerson had the honour of being good friends with one of the hottest rock bands in the world right now.

That's right... Maneskin.

When the rock group heard of Emerson's upcoming accolade, they invited the brothers and their friends to catch their show, offering to take them out on the town the night afterwards. To say y/n was excited was putting it mildly; she had been a fan of the Italian rock group since discovering them on last year's Eurovision, and when she found out Remington had met them she was equally as jealous.

She was humming to herself as she got dressed up, lining her eyes in dark eyeshadow and dusting glitter over her cheeks. She was dressed in a pair of leather pants and a basic white tank, her wavy hair tousled to that perfectly messy effect. The melody stuck in y/n's head had been a tune she had been working on for a couple of weeks, a late-night work in progress that seemingly spawned out of nowhere. However, it was painfully clear after the last couple of days to see where this inspiration had suddenly come from.

"Weekend rock stars, burying icons Looking for a little love I don't like to dance without you Looking for a little love"

She checked her reflection twice in the full-length mirror, unsure of whether she was trying to impress herself, Remington, or the band later on. Once satisfied, she grabbed her spaghetti bag and dashed out the door, continuing to sing quietly to herself.

"War wounds, wild nights, tryna find a little light Cat fights, scratched eyes, looking for a little lie --"

The next door down the hall swung open and Remington slipped out, dressed to her astonishment in a similar pair of black pants and a white muscle tee. The only thing differing in his outfit was the pair of tight suspenders he wore.

They both froze when they saw each other, him more over because he wanted to hear her sing some more. Y/n broke into a bashful grin. Remington thought the universe was laughing at him -- of course they would match outfits!

"Damn, we're just that good we unintentionally match," she chuckled.

"Seems like it," Remington grinned, "Great minds, eh?"

Y/n looked behind her, her door was only a few feet away and they still had some time before meeting everybody downstairs, "Erm -- I-I can go and change. It won't take long --"

"No, no," Remington shook his head, "You look great! And if anybody asks, we'll just say I'm your biggest inspiration,"

Y/n scoffed, "You wish," oh, but if he only knew.

They took the small elevator down together, y/n refraining from letting her heel tap incessantly against the tile. She didn't want to let on that she was nervous; why on Earth should she be nervous, anyway? It was only Remington, after all. Remington meanwhile took to watching the digital numbers count down on the display screen, sneaking glances at y/n in between takes.

"What was that song?" he asked out of the blue.

Y/n shrugged shyly, "It's just something I've been working on. Been stuck in my head for weeks,"

Remington nodded slowly, "It sounds good. You gonna' put it on your album?"

"I don't know. The melody just seems a little too pop for me," she replied.

"What's wrong with that?" he asked plainly, "It's your music, you express what you feel. If you feel like a pop singer, than that's you're right,"

Y/n rolled her eyes at his shit-eating smirk, "I'll be a pop singer over my mother's dead body,"

The bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open. However, neither Remington nor y/n were in a hurry to meet up with their friends. They trailed slowly, the silence a test to see which would break the tension first.

"Remington," inevitably, it was y/n, "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" Remington was taken aback by the notion.

Y/n shrugged listlessly, "You've been kinda ignoring me all day. This is the first conversation we've had since last night. You're upset I danced with that Paolo guy, aren't you?"

Remington scoffed, trying to make off with his pride in tact, much to the chagrin of that baron, no doubt, "Why would I have a problem with --"

"Well Jesus! There you are!" he was cut short by Shae's holler. She and Emerson were standing at the doors of the hotel, arms crosses as they awaited the pair with as much patience as a cat waiting for its dinner, "C'mon! The cabs are waiting!"

Emerson's brows furrowed together, "Did you two plan to match?"

Remington shoved his kid brother out the door, "Get going!"

---

The concert was electrifying to say the least. After two years of being locked away from society, it was refreshing to see groups of people mosh out together to a good rock band. And by God, Maneskin had to be one of the best stage performers y/n had ever seen -- besides Palaye, of course.

It was a combination of their catchy music and wild charisma that had her so enthused; it reminded her of all the times she watched -- no, even -- performed with the brothers. Damiano was charming and cocky, a younger, darker, more Italian version of Remington. He held the crowd's attention with a simple raise of his pinky finger, commanded energy to surge through them to ensure the biggest experience and reaction. Victoria was beautiful, but essentially a little brat on stage. She very much reminded y/n of herself when she was younger. But you couldn't take your eyes off of her nor Thomas as they raced back and forth across the stage, never missing a beat in their performance. And then there was Ethan, his long hair flying in all directions whenever he went ham on the drums. It was almost mesmerizing to watch him; he moved with such fervour and yet with a continual grace that could be matched to only Emerson's drum playing.

It was an awe-striking show to say the least, however, both of them exchanged private looks at one another, neither the list bit wary that the other was doing so.

"Aye! Bellisima!" Emerson applauded as the quartet ran off the stage, drenched in sweat as their chests heaved to wear off the adrenaline. Victoria was the first to leap up and hug her friends.

"You guys! Thanks for coming!" she beamed happily, followed promptly by greetings from her bandmates.

"Pleasure was all ours!" Remington replied, grunting briefly as Damiano slapped him on the back.

"How long are you guys in Rome for?" he asked.

"We leave for Florence tomorrow afternoon," Emerson replied.

"Oh good," Ethan grinned, "That means we can keep you out later!"

Shae raised a disbelieving brow, "You know, I'll never understand how rockstars play a two hour show and still have the energy to go get fucked up after,"

Y/n simpered, "It's all the energy, we need to wear it off,"

"Exactly!" Thomas declared, boldly reaching across and extending his hand, much to the chagrin of a watchful Remington, "I don't believe we've met..."

Y/n smiled and graciously shook his hand, "Y/n Y/l/n. Big fan of you guys, you're all so cool!"

Victoria's face suddenly lit up, "Oh my gosh! You wrote that song for Euphoria! I fuckin' loved it!" she exclaimed.

"Which song?" Ethan asked.

"The 'How Long' song," she smacked his bicep, "You know... when they're all dancing like sluts in the kitchen before Cassie puked in the pool,"

"... Oh, oh yeah," Ethan nodded, "... no, I don't remember,"

"Excuse him," Thomas interjected, "The cymbals shattered his brain cells again,"

Damiano shrugged it off, "He just needs a pizza and he'll be good to go,"

Thomas turned to gaze back down at y/n, his kind dark eyes lined in smudged makeup and glitter, "Are you gonna' join us?"

"Of course!" she replied enthusiastically.

Remington decided then and there that if he had a metre stick he would slam it between the two of them. He liked Thomas, don't get him wrong, but his feelings were already twisted up enough as it was. The last thing he needed was his good friend trying to put moves on his crush.

---

After Maneskin had refreshed themselves, they lead the travel party through the town, pointing out all the spots they used to frequent as buskers and telling stories of their street work. Y/n was up ahead, only this time she fell into step with Thomas, the two of them hanging off of each other's words as they swapped tour stories.

Remington trailed behind once again, wiping sweat off his brow that he was unsure was caused by the intense heat or his stress. Emerson and Ben continued to watch him, mostly in sheer amusement at this point. They commented to each other how Remington was only diffing his own grave at this point.

They came to a nifty, exclusive nightclub just outside of the heart of the city. Given the intense two year lockdown, it was no wonder the whole of Rome was packed into the tiny space. However, getting in wasn't a problem for Maneskin and friends. They practically glided past the long line and disappeared into the dark.

Neon lights swung across the room, effectively lighting up every pure white fabric in the place in a bright neon blue. There was something about the effervescent blue on Remington that made y/n's chest tighten, complimenting his tan in an indigo pigment.

Bodies packed the dance floor, private booths lined the walls with buckets of champagne sizzling with illuminate sparklers. And the bar in the middle of the room was hopping crazy, encircling the biggest booze bottle display that anyone had laid eyes on.

Remington stayed situated at a booth, nursing his beer and sitting between Damiano and Emerson as he regaled him about his recent accolade.

"So they really do the whole kneel and sword tap, still?" the younger rockstar queried.

"The whole shit n' shebang," Emerson nodded, "You know in the high renaissance they had the knights kneel on the altar for the whole hour-long ceremony. It was supposed to be a last test of faith before the king bestowed their knighthood,"

"So what, you just stood there?..."

Across the expanse of the bar, y/n leaned against the smooth, but somewhat sticky countertop, intent on listening to Thomas' next story despite the steady reverberating pulse music.

"... and the next thing I know, I turn around, and that piece of shit was pissing his brains out on my guitar case,"

"Jesus, that's disgusting!" y/n recoiled, fingers tapping delicately at the newly finished drink, "What did you do?"

Thomas snickered, "Ethan wanted to teach him a lesson, but he was scrawnier back then. Still, it took the three of us to hold the karate-chopping little prick when the tourist walked away,"

Y/n shook her head, internally gagging at the notion. Without a doubt in her mind, if someone dared defile her property like that, she would have to face some hefty charges.

Regardless of her previous anxieties, y/n found herself having a lovely time with Thomas. Despite his youth (and yes, she couldn't believe she had just said that) he was composed and articulate, and he had a particularly charming sense of humour. Not to mention the drawl of his accent was most compelling.

They chatted about everything and nothing at the same time. Y/n felt as comfortable as she did with Remington. And yet, being with Thomas felt somewhat out of place for her. In the back of her mind she wished Remington would come and talk to her like this; the way he used to up until many moths ago. Nothing was inhibited, no awkward glances were exchanged, and he certainly wasn't trying to avoid her like the plague.

In between bits and pieces of their conversation, y/n would glance out the corner of her eye, only for Remington to swiftly look away and focus on whatever his friends were doing. It was a tense game of cat and mouse almost; the two of them silently wondering which one would be the first to break their friend zone. The passion within was building steadily, and when y/n finally caught Remington's eye her breath hitched in her throat.

His dark stare was captivating, the shadows casted across his silhouette portrayed such drama, grease and danger. Y/n crossed her legs, squeezing her thighs together as she took another chilling sip of her drink.

And Remington could feel his blood boiling with each passing second. Thomas was shifting closer and closer to y/n, much to his chagrin. Y/n shifted back a little, yet she did little to dissuade him when his fingers brushed hers across the table.

Remington swiftly downed the rest of his drink, praying to high heaven it would settle him.

"You better not punch him out," Emerson warned subtly, "It'll sour American-Italian relations,"

"I'm not gonna' punch him out," Remington assured "-- only briefly fantasize,"

Emerson scoffed, "Or you could... hmm, I don't know... intervene and ask y/n to dance with you. Since you were too chicken shit to do it last night,"

Remington glared back at his brother, "Really?"

"What? You think Ben wasn't gonna' tell me?"

"Remind me to stuff his body in our luggage tomorrow,"

"C'mon, man. Aren't you tired of this? Where's our band frontman when we need him?" and he slapped his shoulder. Remington childishly slapped him back on his bicep.

Damiano strided back to the table, returning from the washroom with a fresh bottle of Prosecco and a big grin on his face.

"What're we watching?" he asked, grunting as he took a seat.

Emerson scoffed, "Remington has a crush on y/n but he doesn't wanna tell her,"

"It's none of his business!" Remington scolded.

Damiano whistled lowly as he popped open the Prosecco with ease, "Well, it might be, my friend..."

"How so?" Emerson asked.

"Because they're getting up and heading for the dance floor," he replied simply.

The brothers whipped their heads back, and much to their dismay, y/n and Thomas has disappeared. Remington could catch glimpses of her through the bustling crowd, his heart dropping to spot her hand clasped around his.

"For fuck sakes," he shook his head, muttering, "Not again,"

"Again?" Damiano questioned.

"He let the same thing happen last night -- but it was a Duke instead!" Emerson sneered.

"It was a baron," Remington corrected.

"What's the difference?" Damiano asked plainly, "You're seven years older than us and yet you're still scared to go after what you want?"

"He's scared of rejection," Emerson said.

"So what?" Damiano questioned before Remington could intervene, "You know you're gonna regret it if you never make your move,"

"I know --"

"So stop your bitching and go!"

Remington looked between the two of them, staring blankly, "What?"

"Go!" Domino urged, "She can do better than Thomas, anyway,"

Emerson shoved him off of the couch, "You want history to repeat itself? Put your big boy pants on and fucking go after her! What's the worst that could happen?"

Remington stumbled forward, shoving at Emerson's hands like a pouting child. However when he turned around his blood began to boil further. Y/n was swaying gently, she wasn't much of a dancer anyways, but she had her hands laced around Thomas' shoulders. They were close, exceedingly closer than he liked. His fists balled at his sides, nostrils flared out and his jaw locked. Emerson was right, he was tired. He couldn't take the anxiety of wondering any longer.

To hell with it all, Remington had charisma, he had charm and he had the drive to fight for what he wanted -- even if it meant he might lose his best friend. Turning back around, he grabbed Emerson's Prosecco glass just as the drummer brought it to his lips, and he watched aghast when Remington downed it in one gulp.

"Jesus Christ. I'm gonna send you to AA!" he threatened. Damiano laughed as Remington brushed him off and headed towards the dance floor.

Y/n wasn't much for dancing at night clubs. They were loud and sweaty and a little too crowded for her liking. However, she didn't feel so overwhelmed with Thomas. If anything, she found herself enjoying herself immensely so. She didn't see Remington snaking his way through the crowd, too enthralled with the joke Thomas was laying on her. It was a lame one but he was sincere all the same.

Remington caught the look Thomas laid on her. His muscles tightened, realizing that y/n was looking at him the way Remington always hoped. He clenched his jaw, lowering his eyes whilst pushing against hot bodies. He swooped in just as Thomas leaned in closer, whispering something faintly in y/n's ear before Remington took her by the arm.

"Excuse me!" he demanded loudly. The pair sprung away instantly, Thomas ever so clueless and y/n dismayed at his interruption, "Mind if I cut in?"

Y/n was at a loss momentarily, wondering just where the hell he had come from. While she was happy to see him, she was also a bit tense. She was only trying to have a good time.

"Remi, what're you doing?" she asked.

"I need to talk to you," he replied.

"Okay. Well -- we're kind of in the middle of something!" she scolded.

"It's okay," Thomas assured her, "I'll go get another drink," and he slinked out of the crowd.

Y/n watched him go, a little disappointed but more than anything annoyed with Remington, "What're you doing?"

Remington took her hand again, nodding towards the exit, "I need to talk to you," he repeated.

"Outside? Have you seen the lineup? We won't get back in for hours!" she protested as he dragged her out.

"I'll risk it!"

Y/n struggled the whole way, looking back for any sign of one of their friends to help her to no avail. He took her out of the crowd and whisked her out into the hot night air. Once outside Y/n wrenched her arm away, shoving at Remington's chest. And y/n was right, there was a lineup going for a full block of people anxiously waiting to get into the club.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped, "I was having a good time!"

"I know you were, and I'm sorry but --"

"Why are you acting so weird, Remington?" she begged, her patience burning at the final thread of her candle, "You've been avoiding me all fucking day! And now you just waltz in and send Thomas away --"

"I'm sorry!" he shouted suddenly, effectively silencing her. Remington composed himself; he didn't mean to shout at her, but the tension was eating away at his own patience, "And I'm sorry for shouting; really, I'm sorry about everything,"

Y/n shook her head, "What's everything?"

"Everything!" he threw his hands in the air, "I've been a total dick, but I don't mean to be! I just -- I get close to you and I just become a different person!"

"Different enough you just decided to start ignoring me out of the blue," y/n nodded, "Did I do something wrong? 'Cause if I did I'm so sorry!"

"You didn't do anything and that's the fucking problem!" Remington exclaimed.

Y/n exhaled slowly, feeling her knees begin to quiver as she stood firmly over the cracked blacktop. She glanced at the bustling line, her cheeks going red under the neon glow of the club sign.

"Can we -- can we maybe do this somewhere else?" she pointed to the people, some of them staring with interest at them.

"Sure," Remington patted at his pockets, a new horror striking him suddenly, "Fuck,"

"What is it?"

"I left my phone inside the club,"

"I got mine," she assured him, "Shae has my purse anyway, I'll text her,"

They started walking, in which direction they weren't entirely sure but Remington's heart pounded faster and faster with each passing second. He was trying to unscramble the words caught in his throat but every which way he thought to phrase it, his words would jumble all over again.

The noise from the club dwindled behind them and they instead came to a quieter plaza. A fountain was crowded with tourists taking photos of the majestic renaissance statues in the middle, being effortlessly splattered by the mist of running water. Remington and y/n came to stand at the edge of the plaza, the heat only fuelling to their growing frustration.

Remington could feel his palms sweating, something that hadn’t happened since his show at the Wiltern, but he swallowed the knot in his throat anyways and stepped closer to her. Despite the sweat and grease from the club, she still smelled so sweetly, she looked so effortlessly beautiful despite smudged makeup under her eyes.

"Do you remember our first tour together?" he asked suddenly.

Y/n glanced at him, somewhat surprised he chose now of all times to reminisce, "How could I forget. Five guys and two girls cramped in a tiny bus that was held together by chewing gum and spit,"

"Oh, and the smell? Fucking brutal," Remington chuckled, "And Sebastian was drunk nearly every night; and he and Phil were always blasting Brit pop and driving us fucking nuts,"

Y/n began to smile, their adventures in that stupid bus washing over her just like it was yesterday, "God, yeah! And we'd get so annoyed we'd hide in my bunk and just watch movies together. Or -- try, what with 4 Non Blondes overshadowing,"

"Even with all those people, it just felt like it was always you and me. You and me against everything, all the time," Remington nodded.

Her smile began to fade, her memories flashing back to the brother's endless fights. She on more than one occasion had to get between and separate --mostly -- Remington and Sebastian when they would butt heads on set lists, hotel arrangements, or just buried drama that they had to work through, "Yeah. It was scary, too,"

"But you never left," he noted.

"You were paying me,"

"You could've left if you wanted. I know you were offered other jobs," Remington said, "You could've taken any of them,"

"But they weren't going to advance my career. I didn't want to be a touring musician for the rest of my life," she admitted, "Besides, I developed a spot for you -- guys," she added quickly.

Remington felt his cheeks heat up, his lips threatening to tear up in a little grin, "I did, too. And I think that's why I've been such a bitch,"

Y/n raised her brows, inhaling slowly as her heart began to swell. Despite her curiosity, she waited patiently, silently, "Because... you like me?"

Remington felt his pinky finger brush against the nail on her thumb, and how desperately he wanted to just hold her hand, "I love you. O-Or I'm in love with you. I think I've been for years, I've just been... scared," he sighed gently.

And just like that, a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. Y/n however, stayed quiet. She stared at the cobblestones beneath her boots, he couldn't pick out the emotions flashing across her face, "And even if you don't feel the same, I can't stand not having you in my life,"

"Remi --" she stopped him suddenly. She felt a rush of confidence then, the rush of adrenaline all she need to grab the band of his suspender, catching him by surprise. His mouth formed a perfect “O” before she pulled him to her and placed her lips on his.

His lips were a bit chapped and he tasted a little like hard bourbon, but she fit so perfectly against him.

Remington’s surprise vanished before pulling her in closer. He tilted her jaw up, brushing his thumb against the blade of his cheekbone. She couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped when he gently bit at her bottom lip.

Remington exhaled, pushing her back until y/n's back was pressed against the wall and he stepped even closer. His other hand took her by the waist, squeezing firmly to hold her tight against him.

Y/n reluctantly pulled away, gasping out from the heat of the moment. Remington stepped away, needing a moment to catch his own breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Her head fell back against the wall, her chest heaving from the kiss and the humidity.

"Remi... " when her eyes met his, to his surprise, she began to laugh, "Can we do that again?"

Well, needless to say he didn't need to be asked twice.

His hands grabbed her face, lips smashing against hers with brutal passion. Her fingers carded through his shaggy hair, tugging him closer as his tongue slipped past hers.

His hands moved down to her hips, pulling her tighter against him as he slipped a few fingers under her shirt. His touch burned her skin, his grip on her waist tightening as she nipped at his lower lip. Tugging on his hair as he pulled away, he trailed his warm lips across her jaw. She shivered as his hot breath tickled her skin, leaving open mouthed kisses along her neck.

Her breath caught in her throat, a soft gasp leaving her lips as he sucked on the sensitive skin on her neck. It was most definitely going to leave a mark, it was so public, but neither of them cared. After all, they were under the cover of shadows and everyone was too enthralled with the fountain. Her fingers continued to run through his locks, gently tugging on them to pull his lips back up to her own. He quickly obliged, his lips smashing back against hers as she hummed against him.

"Come with me," he whispered against her skin, "Let's go to the hotel,"

Her kiss-bitten smile was the only answer he needed, and she anxiously took his hand and dragged him out of their corner.

It only felt like moments later when y/n fell backwards on Remington's bed, the cool sheets a welcome respite from the heat, yet not for long as Remington crawled on top of her. Her back arched as he dropped kissed up her abdomen and between her breasts, her humid skin nothing compared to the burning between her legs.

Remington couldn't dare believe the sight of her; for so long he wanted this -- wanted her -- and he savoured every moment of her. Her freckles, her peach fuzz, the little whimpers she'd make when he bit her earlobe. If he died tomorrow, he would be fulfilled nonetheless. He'd gotten what he needed all along.

"Say it again," he whispered against her ear, loving how she shuddered under his touch. His own skin erupted in goosebumps as her fingers pulled up the hem of his muscle tee.

"I love you," she murmured, inhaling sharply as he pressed himself against her thigh.

"Again,"

"I'm in love with you,"

"... Again?"

"Remi," she giggled softly, a sound so perfect he couldn't resist nuzzling his face in her throat. She pressed her fingertips into his shoulders, turning her face to kiss against his cheek.

He lifted his head, his lips just inches from hers and her eyes boring practically into his soul. Even in the dark, she was the most beautiful woman he could ever hope for, inside and out.

"I love you more," and she was finally all his.

@imabee-oralizard

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babymetaldoll · 3 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

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Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

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Next update: June 16th, 2021

#spencer reid #Criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #diwk #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds re write

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

Text

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 4

Word Count: 8,133

POV: Jamie and then switches to reader

Warnings: Language, small amount of smut so we will say NSFW

Notes: This is hell long, I’m sorry. I don’t normally write chapter/parts this long, so don’t get used to it, because I’m sure it won’t last...haha! At any rate here we go with Part 4. As always I love your feedback, both good and bad, so hit me with it. Happy Reading! Also (Y/NN) = Your Nickname (Y/LN) = Your Last Name

Ruined Masterlist

JAMIE POV

Five days, that's how long it was until you saw (Y/N) again. Well, it was four days, sixteen hours, twenty-two minutes, and forty-two seconds, give or take a second or two. And why did you know the exact time, only because you'd been counting the hours since she left Jordie and Jessi's house. The dinner party had gone great, at least you thought it had, but then you hadn't seen her since then; not even a glimpse of her outside in the backyard or pulling into the driveway. It was maddening or maybe it was just you slowly going insane as every little noise outside had you wandering over to the window to check and see if it was her. It hadn't taken much to convince your brother to throw a dinner party on short notice, in an excuse so you could see (Y/N), but now that you had, there was just this overwhelming need to see more and more of her.

Now, here you were, just four days, sixteen hours, twenty-four minutes, and sixteen seconds from seeing her again. She was to be at the practice center at four-thirty today, so that someone, that someone being you, of course, could show her around the facility. You stood back a bit, staring at the entrance doors just waiting for her to walk in. And then she did. She looked radiant. Dressed in a simple navy pantsuit with a pair of high heels that clicked across the floor, she made her way to the front desk. Instead of rushing out to greet her, you headed back to the locker room, where you knew the receptionist would usher her back to you.

Your palms were sweating and suddenly you felt unsure of yourself. What if she was only playing nice at Jordie's and really didn't want to be around you? But that didn't explain how she'd laughed and reminisced with you about different things. That laugh, you knew it was a genuine one, for you heard it so many times in your dreams you had it memorized. God, you hoped you could make her laugh like that again today.

You could hear her heels on the floor, so you busied yourself with one of your sticks retaping the blade, even though it didn't need it. "The team captain is in there, Miss. If you need anything just let me know." You heard the door open and then turned around.

"Jamie?"

"Oh hey (Y/NN)," you tried to sound casual as if her simply being in the same room as you didn't send your heart beating into overdrive.

"I guess I didn't realize you were the team's captain."

"Yeah, have been for a few years now." Your heart sank a bit in the knowledge that she hadn't really followed your career except to know where you were, so she could avoid you.

"Well that's…," she stumbled on her words which was unusual for her and you wondered if she was as affected by you as you were by her, or if it was just her disdain for you, and that she hated to give you any amount of praise. "That's really amazing. Your coaches and team must really hold you in high regard."

"I'd like to think so." You finally abandoned the stick that didn't need taping, leaning it against the wall before turning your attention back to (Y/N). "Anyhow, I guess I'm your tour guide today." She gave a weak smile and a simple head nod, which was not encouraging to say the least. "So, how about we get started? If you want you can leave your stuff in here, no one will bother it." She'd been carrying her medical bag and a few other things, but she handed them over to you and you set them in your stall. "Well, as you can see this is our practice locker room, pretty basic. I thought we'd start with a tour of the entire place before I show you the training room."

The two of you headed down the hallway and back out to the lobby. "Obviously, you came in this way, but I'll show you the entrance you can use in the future. We're pretty much contained to this side of the building as you can see, but when practices are open, people can come and watch." You showed her the rink, from seat level, then headed back out. "This is the club lounge, if there's ever an event here where we aren't skating we use one of the boxes up there. You're more than welcome to as well."

"I have to say this is kind of elaborate for a practice rink."

"A bit."

"I was expecting metal bleachers and…well, I don't know. I feel like this is more like the arena and then a practice rink."

You chuckled, for you kind of thought the same thing, the first time you came here. Now you barely even noticed it. "Well, the boards are the same as the AAC, but other than that it's very different."

"AAC?"

"American Airlines Center," you hadn't realized you shortened the name. "Sorry about that. I think we're scheduled to tour that on Wednesday." It gave you another opportunity to be with her.

"Yes, I have that on my calendar, but was going to see if we could change that." You supposed there was your answer about her wanting to be in the same room as you. "Dr. Ellis has a patient that needs a knee arthroplasty and he asked if I'd show him the technique I've been using. Less evasive and I'm having great success with cutting the healing time by half." Oh, so it was a medical thing, whatever an arthroplasty was. "If we could push it back a bit that would be great, if not maybe we could look at another time."

"I'll work around your schedule, it's not a problem." If it meant spending more time with her you'd go to any lengths that you had to.

"Thanks, if we could maybe make for like three in the afternoon instead of noon that will give me plenty of time because I have a feeling, he'll want me to sit in on his other two surgeries he has scheduled that day."

"Not a problem." You took out your phone and made the change in your calendar. Thankfully, you didn't really have anything after practice that day but giving her the tour. "Shall we continue then?" She smiled, and it made your heart feel light. You took her to the offices next. "Down this hallway is pretty much everyone that works for the Stars; PR, accounting, our GM, our owner. You'll pretty much find them here." You stopped in front of a door and then opened it up. "This office is for you." It had a great view, well as much of a view as any of them had, but it really was a nice place for her to work.

"Umm…this won't do."

You blinked at her a couple times, there was really nothing wrong with the room. Everything in there was modern with state-of-the-art equipment. "What's wrong with it?" The words came out a little harsher than you intended but you really couldn't see her problem.

"Well for starters, we're on the what, the third floor? And I believe the locker room and training room are on the first." You gave a confused look as this was Dr. Lundin's old office and he never been concerned about it being where it was. "It's just if I'm going to be working on you…well not you, but any of you. I need to be near you. I can be at ice level during practices, but if I'm treating you, my office should be closer to the ice." Well, you couldn't really argue with that. "Also, there's no exam table in here. I get that I'll be doing most things in your training room, but there may be times when I'll need you to stop in to look over something, or what if one of you need to see me about something private."

She had a point, though none of you had ever really gone to Dr. Lundin like that. Come to think of it, he wasn't really around that much. He more or less made recommendations on where you should go if you had a problem. He wasn't necessarily the doctor to fix you. Seems like (Y/N) planned on being more hands-on, and you were ok with that. "You make a good point. Give me a second." You stepped out of the room and called the Jim Nill, the general manager. You weren't sure he was the man to go to, but you knew he'd be there in the building at least and could possibly offer a solution. It was a short phone call, as you expressed (Y/N)'s concerns. Jim was happy to help and said that he'd get someone on moving her downstairs to one of the spare rooms that housed equipment at the moment. "All set. They're going to move you down next to the training room. It might take a few days to get in the stuff you want, but if you make a list, we'll leave it at the front desk and make sure it gets taken care of."

"Thank you, Jamie. I really appreciate you doing that."

Her praise was like music to your ears, you could remember the days when you'd have a good game and she would go on and on about how well you played and you'd literally soak up every word that came out of her mouth. "No problem, guess we should head down there then." You showed her the room, which she seemed pleased with, then took her over to the training room. A couple of the trainers were still in there from practice, so you introduced her to them.

"I hate to be a pain in the ass but would any of you mind if I changed the set up here. I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I just see a few things that could make this more efficient."

"Sure, go ahead," Dave, the head trainer told her.

"So, see these units right here. They would work so much better if you had them in between the training tables. That way two guys can be on the machine at the same time."

"Oh, I see what you're saying." They went to move the equipment, it looked heavy so you helped as well. (Y/N) was opening up cabinets and taking things out, then moving them to other ones.

"Is the AAC," she looked over as you to confirm she'd said that right. "Setup like this as well."

"Pretty much," Dave told her.

"Could we make these changes there as well?" They seemed to be a bit annoyed, but she wasn't deterred. "Bear with me for a moment. Say Jamie has a cut to his eye that needs to be stitched." She looked at you to play the part.

"Ow my eye," your acting was horrible and they all laughed.

"When he comes into the room, we take him right to the nearest table, which is here." You sat down where she gestured. "It's obvious, he needs stitches, but the medical cabinet is all the way over on the other side of the room, and by the time we get there, look for what we need then come back we've waist two minutes of playing time and we don't even have a single stitch that we need in." She was making a lot of sense. "If we had our sterile supplies here, and then individually marked and put in like this." She rearranged the cabinet as she talked. "Then when Jame comes in with the cut. We can assess it and stitch him up in no time."

"Makes sense," Dave agreed. "I'll get to work on changing the AAC as well." He and the other trainer were done for the day and said their goodbyes before heading out.

"Hey Jame," you noticed she'd started using your nickname and you weren't upset about it. "Could you move this table over to here?"

"No problem."

"Is something wrong?"

Quite the opposite actually, you thought today was going pretty well. "Um, no why?"

"You're favoring your right shoulder. I saw you do it earlier."

"Oh, I think I just slept wrong on it or something." Well tossed and turned on it was more like it, as thoughts of her pervaded your mind.

"Sit." It was a command and one that you were not to argue with. She came up behind you then, her hands going on your shoulders, kneading and massaging your shoulders and for a moment it felt like heaven, just having her hands on you again. Then she pushed down hard on a particular spot and you winced. "Tender?"

"A bit."

She came around in front of you and stepped in between your legs. "This might hurt a little." Hurt? God, she was killing you at the moment, as her body was almost pressed intimately up against yours. You willed your growing erection to calmed down, but apparently, it had a mind of its own. She moved your arm in a weird position, then pressed down almost under your armpit but not quite. (Y/N) was right, it did hurt a tiny bit, and you grunted at the pain. "Sorry." She went back to kneading your muscles, while you caught the scent of her perfume, or maybe it was just her, either way, it intoxicated you. You closed your eyes inhaling deeply, willing your body under control. You'd give anything at that moment to just wrap her in your arms and press her lips to yours. Would her lips be as sweet as they once were? Would she kiss you back with the same abandonment as she had that first time so long ago? There were so many questions swirling in your head, and you wanted to know the answers, but it was too soon. If you attempted any of this now, you'd take the chance of losing her for good and it was not a risk you were willing to make. All too soon for your liking, she stepped back. "Does that feel any better?"

You rotated your shoulder and neck a few times. "Yeah, it actually feels amazing."

"Excellent," a huge satisfied grin on her face, which only made you smile back. You felt it then, a shift in the air, almost as if her heart was giving way to you in some small manner. Maybe it was just you, but there was something in the way that her eyes held yours, the way they softened as she gazed at you. You remembered that look, had only dreamt of seeing it in her eyes again but now here you were, afraid to blink for if you did it would break the spell. Her watch chimed then, like the clock striking midnight in a fairytale. "I really should be going," she told you, and just like Cinderella, she was running away only this time you knew she wouldn't get far. "So, Wednesday, then right?"

"Yeah, three o'clock."

"Ok, I'll see you then."

"Hey (Y/NN)," she turned back around. "Since we're heading downtown, why don't I just drive us both down. I'll show you the shortcut." She seemed to mull that over a bit.

"Sounds good." She made a move to leave again, only this time, she stopped herself. "Thank you for today Jame. I really appreciate you showing me around."

She called you Jame again, another step in the right direction. "Anytime, (Y/NN)." You sighed happily as she walked out of the training room. You were one step closer to winning the girl of your dreams back.

READER'S POV

What was wrong with you? You seriously needed to get ahold of yourself. That moment in the training room could not happen again. For god's sake, your watch had to chime to tell you to breathe, because you were pretty sure you'd stopped. There had been something in Jamie's eyes. Those big beautiful brown ones of his, that you could spend hours looking into. People always said the eyes were like windows into your soul, and if that were true you saw your own reflected in Jamie's. The shocking thing was, it didn't frighten you like it should. There was this small part of you that wanted to fall headfirst straight into him, but you couldn't. This time it wasn't just your reputation as being easy riding on the line. It would be your reputation as a doctor and a professional as well, and that was something you would not let him ruin.

You turned over yet again in what felt like the most enormous bed at the moment. You couldn't seem to get comfortable and sleep was evading you, as thoughts of Jamie filled your head. Every time you closed your eyes there he was, smiling as he took another bite of cake in his mouth, laughing when you least expected it. It was all quite maddening and thrilling at the same time. This time you sat up in bed. Grabbing your iPad, you opened your one guilty pleasure and started reading the romance novel you'd started on the plane here. You hadn't picked it up, since the day you saw Jamie. It would provide the perfect distraction from him.

You were about three chapters in when things started to turn a bit steamy, and as you read each line you found your hands wandering over your body. Your hands snuck up your shirt, wishing that it was our hero's gliding over your breasts the way he caressed the main characters. As the dialogue went on, you got more and more turned on, until you abandon the book for your own pleasure. Closing your eyes, you pictured the protagonist with his dark locks, kissing his way down your body. Your hands would thread into his hair, as he kissed above your panty line, before slowly shimming them down your legs. It was almost as if you could feel his warm breath against your thigh making you shiver. You let your fingers mimic his, as they slid between your folds, your pussy already wet with desire for him. He softly kisses you there then, his beard somewhat scratchy against your sensitive skin, but it was a feeling you yearned for. His long fingers would slip inside, moving in and out of you slowly at first driving you mad. Your hips flexed up, as you gave over to the fantasy, craving the faceless man's touch. You could see the muscles of his back stretch across his skin and you longed to rake your nailed down them as he thrust his cock inside you, though it was his torturous fingers driving you wild at the moment. You were close now, just teetering on the edge with the need to cum. Rubbing your clit with your other hand, you thrust your fingers in out of you in a motion that you knew would take you to the heights you sought. Only your mind told you it was his fingers, his tattooed arm, his wicked tongue that was taking you there. Eyes closing tighter, as you fully emersed yourself in the fantasy, you felt the orgasm begin to build. Your legs started to tremble and your breathing was erratic, and then it hit and you were screaming out his name. "YES…JAMIE…YES!" Your eyes flew open, at the sound of his name echoing off the bedroom walls. It was Jamie you were picturing the entire time. He was the man giving you such exquisite pleasure. The realization had you spinning and throwing the covers over your head, too bad you couldn't hide from yourself. How were you ever going to face him in a couple days?

Sleep was something that evaded you that night and the next, well not entirely you did get a few hours here and there. The only problem was Jamie seemed to creep into your dreams as well. There were ones where the two of you were laughing and joking and having the most amazing time, and ones that had you calling out his name in pleasure again as well. But the ones that got to you the most, were where he was with Caitlyn. They would be holding hands or kissing right in front of you. You'd wake up so angry that you wanted to punch something or someone, namely Caitlyn. It had you questioning why though. If you didn't have feelings for Jamie, then why were you so angry at some college girl who threw herself at him. The deeper you dug into that, the more you didn't like the answer, for it meant there was still something there between you.

Thankfully, Wednesday came and so did your teaching surgeries, which meant you had something else to think about other than Jamie Benn. It was an early morning as most days in the operating room were, so at five, you grabbed a coffee and headed to the hospital. As you suspected, Dr. Ellis had you tag along on his other three knee arthroplasties, which meant you were walking out of the OR just before noon. If you timed it right, you could grab a quick bite to eat before going over charts and then be at Jamie's before three to tour the AAC.

"I've got to say your method in that replacement was impeccable," Dr. Ellis told you as you headed down the hallway to the doctor's lounge.

"Thanks, it took a little time for me to get things right, but as I said when you take that ligament…"

"Dr. Ellis, you're needed in the ER for a consult; car versus pedestrian," the nurse told him, and immediately your heart sank. You always hated seeing these kinds of accidents come through the hospital. "It's a twelve-year-old, his leg is in bad shape. I'm not sure it can be saved."

"Dr. (Y/LN), would you join me?"

"Of course." The two of you quickened your pace as you rushed to the wounded child. "I thought you said this wasn't a trauma hospital?"

"It's not. I'm not sure how this case got here."

The moment you got to the ER, you didn't have to be directed as to where to go. Doctors and nurses rushed in and out of the room at a frenzied pace. It had honestly been a good year since you'd done any extensive trauma work, but the adrenaline came rushing back through your veins with a force of a good slap shot. When you entered the room, it was worse than you expected, you'd only seen one other case that was this bad. You rattled off a flurry of questions, to those around you, trying to assess the damage. "I think we're going to have to amputate," the chief emergency physician said.

"Only as a last resort." You looked at Dr. Ellis. "If you're willing, I'd like to try and save this child's leg, but we need to get him in the OR now."

Not even a second ticked by, before he said, "You heard her people, let's move." Everyone started rushing to get him prepped for surgery.

"I'll need your assistance," you told him as the two of you made your way back, nurses following close behind.

"Of course, anything you need."

"Oh, I need someone to call Jamie Benn." Dr. Ellis gave you a funny expression. "He was to show me around the arena today in a couple hours. I need to push that back." He nodded to the nurse who jotted down the information before the two of you went to scrub up.

The surgery was grueling, your feet hurt and your back ached from standing in the OR for over twelve hours, but it was worth it. You were able to save young Noah's leg. And while most of those that had joined you in the operating room were headed out for drinks, which they wanted you to join, you were putting back on the dress that you'd chosen this morning to wear for your tour with Jamie. Admittedly, you may have decided on it because it showed a little more cleavage than usual and that it was Jamie's favorite color, but right now you'd give anything to not have to wear it for another couple of hours as you walked around an arena trying to remember where the entrance and exit were. Though still you, glided it over your body and headed out the door.

You thought about pulling into your driveway, but decide to go straight to Jamie's instead. Your feet already hurt from standing all day, and the heels that you'd brought earlier now felt like they were twenty inches high instead of the three that they were. No point in walking extra steps from your place to his. You rang the doorbell and almost immediately Jamie answered. "You look…"

"Like hell." You finished for him as he stepped aside you let you inside his house and even through your exhaustion you realized this was the first time you were seeing the inside of his home.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Oh, well I feel like it," you added. "But anyhow, are you ready to go?" You were standing in the entranceway taking everything in, the vaulted ceilings, the winding staircase, even the glass doors were things that you'd talked about with him when you were younger. It was almost a carbon copy of your dream home that you two talked about.

"Um…well, I kind of didn't think you'd be up for it tonight."

"Oh, thank god."

He chuckled as you sagged in relief of knowing that you wouldn't have to put another ten thousand steps in. "I have an alternative if that's alright." You had no idea what he could be thinking, but anything other than a thirty to forty-minute drive downtown would be better. Just then your stomach growled, the sound seemed to fill the room and Jamie's eyebrow shot up.

"Sorry, I haven't eaten since six this morning."

"Well, then I think you're going to like my idea. Follow me." He headed into the open concept, kitchen, and living room, which was decorated all in white. "I kind of figured you'd be hungry, so I cooked us dinner. You still like salmon, right?"

"Love it." You couldn't believe that he went to all this trouble. You could see the table set perfectly, and that he had a couple pots on the stove, which smelled divine. "This is so much better than the drive-thru I was going to beg you to go to."

"Fast food, really? Come on (Y/NN) I would've sworn you'd go for pizza at least."

"I mean well, obviously, but when you're crunched on time."

"So, does this mean you're staying for dinner?" It wasn't in your original plans, but he'd gone to all this trouble, and well, you did have to eat.

"I'd love to."

"Great, I just need to get the grill going. How about a glass of wine while we wait?" You nodded, after the day you had, wine sounded perfect. "Red or white."

"A dry white since we're having fish." His walk-in wine cellar was to die for and filled from head to toe, you couldn't help sneaking a peek behind him. "I didn't realize you were a wine drinker."

He shrugged, the movement careless and carefree. "From time to time, I enjoy a glass. It's always better to share it with someone though." God, you'd said the exact words almost a hundred times. You loved your wine, but it was almost self-indulgent to just open a bottle and drink it yourself, so you rarely did it. He chose one, then came back out to the kitchen to uncork it. "I almost hate to ask, but how did the surgery go?"

"It was long, but we ended up saving Noah's leg."

"Oh my god, that's amazing."

"Well, I don't know…"

He didn't let you finish, just scooped you up in a hug. One that literally lifted you off the ground. It took your breath away not only from the shock of it but because of the way it made you feel. There were so many times you'd completed something successful in the OR only to come home to an empty house and no one to share it with, sure you had your family to call, who were always thrilled, but this, this was different. It was someone sharing in your joy and happiness, and you could feel it in the way that he held you that he was just as excited as you were. All too soon he put you down as if he realized he'd overstepped his bounds. "Sorry," Jamie told you taking a step back, yet still wearing a huge grin. "But you freaking saved a kid's leg. Like who does that." Again, he didn't give you time to answer. "You're truly amazing, (Y/N)."

A blush rose to your cheeks at his compliments or maybe it was from the way he held you and you longed to feel his arms back around you. Either way, the room suddenly got a bit warm. "Thank you."

He poured you both a glass of wine, then lifted his. "To the most amazing doctor. Dallas is lucky to have you." You clinked your glass with his then took a sip of the crisp chardonnay.

"This is good," you sighed as you took another drink. "Would it be terribly rude of me, if I took these shoes off? My feet are killing me."

"God no, make yourself at home," he chuckled.

"What I should really do is run home and change into some sweats. If only my feet didn't hurt so bad."

"You can wear mine."

"Oh no, I couldn't." Because really, you couldn't wear his sweats, that would just be going too far.

"Please, you used to do it all the time." Ok well, he had you there. "I think you had more of my sweatshirts than I did at one point."

"Hey, I couldn't help it, they were just so….cozy." He laughed again and you found yourself joining in.

"Well, you're more than welcome to steal some. It's not like I don't have a ton from the organization. Which reminds me, I'll make sure they send you over some stuff."

"Oh, that would be nice."

"Until then just go put mine on. You know you'll be more comfortable." He was right, but it felt a little awkward and you hoped he wouldn't read into it.

"You're sure?" He gave you that look, the one that told you if you didn't get your ass into his sweats, he might kick it, and you had to laugh. "Ok, ok." It kind of felt like old times, only without all the bad stuff that happened, and god help you; you liked it.

"Upstairs go to the left. They are in my closet on the right-hand side. Bottoms are in the third drawer and the sweatshirts are hanging up. I'm going to go throw the salmon on."

He headed out to the grill, and you made your way upstairs. The bedroom had pristine white walls, like the majority of the house. A massive four-poster king-size bed was done in shades of gray; it reminded of you the bed you shared long ago once. You shook yourself, as memories of that first time with Jamie came flooding back. There was no point in dwelling on that; you told yourself as you made your way into the huge walk-in closet. It was neatly arranged and you had to wonder if it was Jamie being meticulous or if he had a housekeeper that did all this for him. A shelf on the left side caught your eye. There were photos there nestled with his colognes. A picture of when he was drafted sat there, along with one from when he won his gold medal playing for Team Canada. At that moment, you realized you'd missed so much of his life. All these major life-changing events, that had things gone differently, you would've been part of, or at least you told yourself you would've. You sighed, feeling a heaviness in your chest that you didn't want to explore at the moment.

Turning to the right, you went to grab the sweats like you were supposed to instead of digging around in Jamie's closet. You found them easily then moved down to grab a sweatshirt off the rack. You didn't really pay too much attention, just grabbed a Stars hoodie then started to head toward the bathroom to change. Again, photos caught your eye. These more personal. There was one of him with his mom and dad, that brought a smile to your face. You'd always loved his parents. Another was him with Jordie and Jenny, and still another with just him and Jenny's daughter. It was the one next to that, that made your breath hitch and your heart beat faster. It was a picture of the two of you, one of your favorites from Canada Day. You'd been out at the lake house with his family, and someone had candidly captured the two of you just staring happily into each other's eyes, a smile playing across both your faces. You remembered the moment like it was yesterday. That he would still have this picture was just….well, it was a lot to digest. You'd burned yours in a moment of anger weeks after what had happened, but Jamie, well apparently he kept his and still had it on display. What did this mean? Did he still have feelings for you? Did he still love you? Moreover, how did you feel about him now, after all this time? There were so many questions in your head, it was making you dizzy.

You rushed into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on your face. Part of you wanted to run the two houses down to your home and lock the door behind you, but that would solve nothing. So instead, you inhaled deeply, getting control of your emotions just as you would before you entered the operating room. There was nothing between you and Jamie anymore, the two of you were just…well, you were trying to be friends, that's all this was. You quickly changed into his clothes, throwing your dress across the huge soaking tub, then you plopped your hair on top of your head in a messy bun. It was only then that you looked at yourself in the mirror. It was a reflection of your teenage self, the one that loved Jamie with her whole heart, but you weren't that girl. You were older and wiser, and you were not about to let your heart get trampled on by one Jamie Benn again. Squaring your shoulders, you headed back downstairs, where you'd pretend as if you hadn't seen the picture of the two of you that set your heart aflutter.

When you entered the kitchen, Jamie's jaw dropped and you knew he was seeing that same version of your teenage self that you saw moments ago, though he recovered quickly. "You look more…comfortable."

"I am. Thanks again for letting me borrow these." You decided to not mention, how they made you look, or feel for that matter. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I've got it pretty much under control. Just prop up your feet, it'll be ready in a few."

"It smells delicious."

"Thanks."

"When did you learn how to cook? Because from what I remember, you could barely boil water." It was true, he was never that great in the kitchen, but from the aroma, his skills had definitely improved.

"Well, when you're on your own as long as I've been, you learn quick." He finished mixing, what looked like some sort of sauce before drizzling it over the asparagus that he'd broiled. "Besides, I can't burn off a large pizza the way I used. If I indulged in that every night, I'd have even more of a dad bod than I do now."

"Oh stop, you do not have a dad bod. Trust me I've seen plenty of those and you're not it." With his toned arms and legs, he seemed more in shape than when he was sixteen years old. Well at least more defined. In fact, just looking at his thighs brought all sorts of wild fantasies to your mind. Oh my god, you needed to stop thinking of Jamie like this or there was going to be another sleepless night in your future.

"Thanks," he answered back to your compliment. "Though I will never live down the nickname Chubbs."

You laughed, like full-on belly laugh. "Oh my god, tell me that did not follow you around."

"With Jordie on the same team," he said while rolling his eyes and joining in your laughter. "Of course, it did. It's fine though, actually, it'd be weird if people didn't call me that."

"I'll have to remember that, Chubbs." He raised his eyebrow at you before stepping out to grab the salmon. This really was nice, the two of you just laughing and joking, maybe you could be friends after all.

"Your dinner, madam," he said as he placed what looked like something out of a five-star restaurant in front of you, before sitting down in the chair beside you.

"Wow, this looks amazing."

"Well, it's not the celebration dinner you deserve for saving a kid's leg, but it will have to do." He raised his glass again towards you. "To an amazing doctor." He needed to stop making these toasts to you, as they made you blush every time.

The conversation at dinner flowed easily, like two old friends who hadn't seen each other in ages, instead of two exes. You reminisced about old times and caught up on gossip from back home. It was all really refreshing, and you realized that you'd worried about moving to Dallas for no reason at all. You helped him clean up the dishes, then you both moved into the living room to finish up the bottle of wine. "I was thinking," Jamie told you. "I drew out the AAC a bit, that way if you're schedule gets too packed, you'd have somewhat of a map to get you around."

There he went again, being all kind and sweet. A complete contrast to the man that you'd hated for the past fourteen years. "That's really nice of you. Let's have a look." He laid it out on the table and started to explain what parking garage to use and where that entrance would put you once you were inside. He was about midway through when the knot in your neck from surgery today, decided to stiffen a bit. You tilted your head to the right, then to the left; in an attempt to work it out.

"Little stiff?"

"Yeah, sometimes long hours in the OR, make my neck not want to hold my head up anymore."

He chuckled then moved back against the side of the couch so that he could rub your shoulders. "Here let me."

"You know, I'm supposed to be the one helping you out, not the other way around."

"Yeah, well humor me." You turned, giving him your back. His hands were gentle as they kneaded the muscles there and you had to admit it felt really good. You could feel yourself relaxing back against him. "Scoot up for a second." You did as he asked and then he swung his one leg up so that you were now seated in between his legs, then he went back to working on your muscles. "Better?"

"Mmm," you sighed out and let your eyes drift shut. It had been a long time since anyone had taken care of you the way that Jamie had tonight; cooking you dinner first and now this. He gently nudged you back against him, as your body grew heavy. Slowly, you drifted off to sleep. What you didn't know, was how Jamie settled you fully against his body, then grabbed the blanket that was strewn across the back of the couch to cover you up. Nor did you know how he pressed a kiss to your head, as his arms slid around your waist. He knew that he should probably wake you up, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to hold you in his arms even if it was for just a little bit. Jamie told himself that he'd just lay with you here for a little bit, let you rest for just a few minutes, but what he didn't plan on was falling asleep with you.

You weren't sure what woke you, maybe it was the light snoring in your ear, but you found it hard to rouse yourself out of slumber. You were just too comfortable, too cozy, too content, to want to wake up. There was just this safe and secure feeling that you had that just kept lulling you back to sleep. But slowly, you came alive. You blinked a few times, trying to figure out where you were. This wasn't anything new, when you were an intern, you'd wake up all over the hospital depending upon where you fell asleep, and moving to Dallas you still weren't used to your new home, but nothing here looked at all familiar. It was then that you noticed, someone's arms around your midsection, and that you were sleeping on said person's chest. A light bulb went off in your head, and you realized that person was Jamie. Obviously, you'd fallen asleep at some point, you just didn't know why Jamie hadn't woken you up. Instead, he chose to fall asleep as well.

You should be in a panic, but for some reason, your not. It just all feels so…right. Only it shouldn't feel that way at all. You shouldn't want his arms wrapped around you like they are, and you shouldn't like the gentle rise and fall of his chest as you lay against him, and you definitely shouldn't have your fingers interlaced with his, but you do. You actually could stay like this…well if you're being honest…forever, and that scares the living hell out of you. It's then you decide you have to get out there and you start to untangle your limbs from him. The movement waking Jamie. "Mmhmm," he hums sleepily and for some reason, your heart flutters at the sound. His hands tighten around your waist and you don't cringe like you should, but if you stay here any longer, you don't know what will happen.

"Jamie," you whisper. "Jame."

His eyes peek open as you turn and look at him. There's a slow smile that comes to his lips, that just sends heat to your core. Fuck, you need to get out of here. Then realization dawns on him, "Oh shit, I must have fallen asleep." He's scrambling now and so are you. "I'm sorry….I only meant to let you sleep for a bit." Oh, so he didn't mean to hold you all night and make you feel cherished? Why does your heart sink at that knowledge?

"It's ok, but I should really be going." You're a little stiff as you get up off the couch and look around the kitchen for your purse, noticing that it's five in the morning. "I need to get ready for rounds at the hospital."

His hands go to the back of his neck, then comes around the rake down the front of his face. "I'm really sorry…"

"Jamie, it's fine. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep on you like that." You slip back into your heels then head towards the front door. "Thank you again for dinner."

"Anytime," he mumbles and there's this look of confusion on his face. You can't decide if it's about waking up with you in his arms or if he's still not fully awake yet, but you're not going to ask, as you open the door and slip out. "Hey (Y/NN)." You turn back around the minute you hear his voice. "I'll call you," he tells you, and damnit if your heart isn't beating faster again, like your fifteen and the prospect of this hot hockey player calling you is just doing weird things to your insides that medical science can't explain. "About rescheduling the tour."

"Right, the tour," you muttered and suddenly, it's not as romantic as it all seemed a moment ago. "Yeah, we definitely need to do that. Thanks again." You shut the car door so fast and drive the two houses down, which looks completely stupid, as Jamie stands on his front porch watching you, making sure you get inside ok.

What the hell just happened? It's the only question you can think of as you drag yourself up to the ensuite in your bedroom, so you can wash your face. You grab a cloth and turn the water on, your mind trying to digest the last ten minutes. You just spent the night with Jamie Benn, and you're not mad about it. You're not mad about it at all and that's frightening. A week ago, you didn't want to be in the same room with him for five minutes. Now, you were laughing over dinner and falling asleep in his arms. Jesus, what were you thinking? You look up at yourself in the mirror and all you can see is his damn hoodie and sweats on you. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, but instead, all you can do is smell him. He's on your clothes, well of course he is, they're his, you idiot. You swear when you pull your hair all the way down from its even messier bun that your hair smells of him too. And when you close your eyes you can feel him; his arms wrapped around you holding you close, and damn if you don't want that again.

"NO," you yell out to yourself in the mirror. "No, no, no." He's not good for you. He'll break your heart. Your mind knows all these things and still, your heart is trying to open the door and let him in. This can't happen, you need a plan. No, what you need is someone to remind you how he broke your heart.

You pick up your phone and dial your best friend, Emma. She'd been with you through the whole breakup with Jamie and remained by your side through every dumb mistake you made afterward. Emma had even moved to the east coast, when you went to John Hopkins, though she'd met the love of her life there and was now engaged. You knew it was early, but you also knew that your best friend would answer the phone if it was you who was calling. "Hello, sunshine," she answered all cheerful and it only put you in a fouler mood.

"Really? How are you this happy in the morning?"

"You know I've always been a morning person. Now, please tell me what happened with Jamie."

"How do you know something happened with him?" It was truly baffling how she could just read you like an open book.

"Why else would you call me at six-thirty in the morning? Tell me he's not breaking your heart already?"

"It's worse." You pause trying to figure out the best way to tell her. "I think I'm falling for him again."

"Get out!" She shouted at you through the telephone. "It's been like what ten days?"

"God, when you put it like that, it sounds insane."

"It's not insane (Y/N)." At least Emma didn't think you were crazy for possibly falling back in love with Jamie. "You two have history, like big-time history, and that just doesn't go away overnight. The question is what do you want to do about it?"

"I don't know, Em." It was true, you were so conflicted about whether you should just shut Jamie out completely, or open your heart just one more time. You were hoping your best friend could shed some light on the situation.

"Well, then I think I have your solution." You waited patiently for her to tell you what it was. "You know what they say, in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone." Had you heard her right, did she really just tell you to go out and have sex with someone random?

#Jamie Benn #Jamie Benn imagine #Jamie Benn imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #Dallas stars #Dallas stars imagines #Dallas stars imagine

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wendystales · 4 years ago

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Memories - lrh (Chapter Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Three ※※※※※ Chapter Five

I absorbed and enjoyed the silence that was hovering around my house. I grabbed a glass of juice and sat down on the couch on the balcony. My mom left early for work, and Leah even tried to take me along for a photo shoot she was going to do in Venice. But, honestly, I'm not in the mood for dragging plaster casts around under the sun.

Not to mention that it is good to have moments alone to get my head straight. I know that in a little while it will be even harder to escape from these outings, I mean, I know I have to get back to my routine, but as long as I can avoid it, I will.

I put the juice on the table and pick up my diary. Unlike yesterday, I open it to the first page, like a book, and start reading. I go through a few pages about my feelings, about what I planned about my future, about my parents' divorce.

"I know it was inevitable. Anyone could tell how distant they were, I just didn't want it to be like that, that she suffered the same way I did. And I didn't want to feel that anger from him. But deep down, I know it's for the best.".

A few more pages telling about the scout who had seen me at the mall, the first photo shoot, the first runway show for a small clothing brand. Then arriving at the day I met Ashton.

"That one nobody expected/imagined/sought for. Ashton Irwin is my yoga partner!!! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, I never would have imagined that. I was dying of nervousness about being the new student, then he comes and offers to be my duo and oh gosh, he's amazing. Super fun and nice. AND HE CALLED ME UP FOR COFFEE ON SUNDAY.

" Ashton and I sat at a table on the sidewalk. Under the table, I snapped my fingers in nervousness as I read the menu.

- Do you already know what you are going to order? - he asks. I pout and nod my head in denial.

- All I know is that I don't want espresso. - I comment.

- Can I recommend one? I think you'll like it, it's whipped with cream and chocolate, very sweet. - He points to the menu after I accept his suggestion.

- It amazes me how good you are at coffee. - I joke, making him laugh.

- I like coffee. I once took a tour of a coffee farm in the countryside right here in California.

Coffee becomes our first topic. Because he knows and understands coffee, Ashton convinces me to do a tasting at a promising coffee shop in Brentwood the next morning. It was not the kind of program I am used to doing, but everything is different now, my life has changed and so have my types of programs.

- You are lost being my friend, I will call you all morning for breakfast together. - Ashton comments as we drive along the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

My body shakes when it hears the word "friend". I still wasn't sure if I could consider Ash a friend, but now, I'm happy to know that I can and that he considers me too. "

The memory warms and cheers me up, giving me more desire to read and remember.

I don't realize how much I was smiling until my cheeks start to hurt. After that day, his name becomes very frequent, until it joins Leah's.

"I don't know how to explain this girl. She came in so confident and nose to nose, I was sure she would be insufferable, then she opened her mouth and all I could think was 'where has she been all my life? ' And I don't want to get my hopes up or be a pain in the ass, but she's also a model and she talked about me going to her father's agency and if that works out? it's one of the biggest agencies in the world, I'm going to take off. God, if this is your will...".

I laugh at the following narrations that already involve Ashton, Noah and Leah. I can't remember what is written, but my imagination gives me a warm, happy feeling in my body. And if the reality has been as fun and nice as what I imagined, then it was very good.

I feel my body shiver and a chill take over my stomach when I see Luke's name for the first time. I cut the pace of my reading, preparing myself for what was to come. I reach for another glass of juice, buying time and even courage to read the rest.

"I had already noticed him looking at me, I just didn't want to believe he was looking at me, and it was perfect like that, until Ashton brought him in. It's one thing to know who Luke is, it's another to talk to him. In the end it wasn't so bad. I guess. I just stared for the first hour at anything but him, but I guess he must have missed it. Now I'm in the dilemma of if he liked me, I mean, we spent four hours talking and nothing, no kiss, no phone exchange. NOTHING."

I laugh at myself. I can perfectly see myself being embarrassed by him and not being able to look him in the eye.. If I could go back in time, I would tell this Marnie that Luke really liked her, even though I only had a basis in videos and pictures.

I pick up my cell phone and open insta, going to the date that marked my diary. 07/06/18. It was Ashton's birthday party. I flip to the side and see a picture taken in Hawaii, with the caption "The one where we got lost". I turn the page and find that trip.

"I know I am committing one of the biggest follies of my life and deep down, I don't even know why. That's a lie, I do, but that's not the point. In fact, it is, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Again, it is. The point is: I can't believe that at the last minute I agreed to go on a trip to Hawaii with a bunch of people I barely know. Except Ash, Noah and Leah. And P.S. Monday is his birthday. It only gets better.”

Apparently things between Luke and me went pretty quickly. I read a few more pages seeing that on his birthday, we had our first kiss and from then on everything happened too fast and messy.

I write about many fights and reconciliations. Both he and I, didn't want anything serious, but both he and I, couldn't stay away from each other and there was my reason.

"There is a good big part of all this blocking that I believe is because of what happened and because of me trying to pretend it didn't happen. Dr. Prescott says that if I don't put it out there and don't talk about it, it will consume me. 'Talking about our fears, worries and problems makes them smaller and easier to defeat.'

Besides my parents, no one else knows about that day."

I run my eyes quickly down the page, seeing that that one was about Stephen's cheating.

I close the journal in fear. I don't know what is coming, and I don't know if I have the courage to read it. It is one thing to hear about it from others, from their view and opinion, even if it is not on purpose. It's another to hear about it from my view, from what I've been through.

I have no doubt that there are things in these next pages that maybe even my parents don't know. Things and feelings that I have kept solely and exclusively to myself and I don't know if I am ready to face this, again.

I put down the diary and go in search of something else. Luckily for me, my guardian angel, aka Leah, calls me.

“Are you busy? I thought we could have lunch together. What do you think?” she bombards me, not letting me say hello.

“Hi to you too. No, I'm not busy, just reading my diary.” I run my hand over the cover, keeping in the back of my mind what awaits me. “ I'll take lunch.”

Before Leah can answer, I hear a muffled argument on the phone and wait for the fight to end.

“Sorry, but Noah is asking if he can come along.” she asks, without patience.

“Of course he can.” I hold my laughter, imagining the two of them fighting on the other end of the line.

“Okay, in a few minutes we'll be there. Kisses.”

I say goodbye to her and decide not to read the diary again. The doctor himself told me not to force myself into anything. I set the table and wait for the two of them to arrive.

After forty minutes, the doorbell rings. I make way for my friend and analyze the tall, muscular man behind her. Unlike my memory, the Noah of today has his hair well shaved and brunette, like his sister's. His green eyes fill with tears when he sees me crack a smile, and like his twin, he doesn't wait for permission and hugs me.

“Don't ever do that again, young lady. What a shitty world this would be without you!” he squeezes me before showering me with kisses, all over my face.

Leah turns and pulls him away from me, making me laugh. I follow them both into the kitchen and look at the bags they brought, excited.

“We made sure to stop by The Palm and pick up your favorite dish.” I didn't even know that I had a favorite dish at The Palm. But when Leah opens a box and I feel my mouth water when I see that noodle with shrimp, I realize how little I know myself.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I ask softly, with a smile.

We start lunch and today my attention was on Noah, after all he was the new thing. I listen to him tell about the day we met, when he began to advise my career with his sister, and how things have been going since the accident.

“You don't have to give any interviews if you don't want to.” he assures me once again.

I still don't know how to deal with this "public figure" business, but deep down I feel a need to give a "satisfaction" to everyone who knows me. Noah has already sent some notes about my condition, but I know that I will have to appear on some channel in the future.

We changed the subject and started talking about my amnesia. Noah was not very happy that my first memory was his hair fiasco. I commented that I was reading my diary and asked about some events.

“Are we really lost in Hawaii?” they both started to laugh and agree.

“That day I wanted to hit Mark. I was getting very angry that he could not accept that he was reading the wrong map. Not to mention the car dying and us pushing," Noah comments.

“Mark was never good with maps. He says himself that he was a lousy Boy Scout.” Leah says before drying her third glass of water.

“Who is Mark?” I question.

“Mark is an ex-lover of mine. At the time we were chatting and he had the house in Hawaii. One thing led to another and in the end he went along.” Leah ends with a frown.

“And why did we let him drive then?” I ask, full of curiosity. They look at me as if I know the answer. Or, as if I should, but I just raise my eyebrows, saying nothing.

“Because it's Mark.” Noah shrugs. “He likes to be in control of everything.”

“The one who was definitely happy with us there was that guy who owns the coconut stand.” Leah says.

So there it is, the little wooden stand, with a pile of coconuts in front of it. A short man, probably about 50 years old, laughing at our misfortune while selling the fruit to us. Images begin to form in my mind.

" “- Look there.” Kyleen and I focus on the little man laughing as he takes the money from Michael's hand. “He sure is very happy with us standing here.” Leah says.

“Of course he is. We already bought twelve coconuts from him. Bad little man.” I make a face.

“We're not lost. It's just a shortcut.” we cut off eye contact with the stand and focus on Mark arguing with Noah and Ashton.

Leah looked at her lover in total disbelief at what she had gotten herself into. If regret could kill. The next moment Mark stomps his foot on the floor, like a child with a temper tantrum. At that moment, Calum looks at me with wide eyes.

I look away so that he doesn't see me laughing. Kiki, who was behind me, slaps me to stop, but this only makes me want to laugh more. I hide my face in her arm and in the end, my laughter gets out of hand. Both she and Calum start laughing with me, causing the boys to look at us curiously.

It takes no more than five minutes for Mike to join in the laughter with us and soon everyone else was laughing except Mark. Even the little bad man was laughing. It was the worst thing about us being lost, but that's what was happening and it couldn't be anything but comical, even though it was sad too. ”

“Of course he was happy. He sold about fifteen coconuts for us.” I don't even try to control my smile. Once again I remembered, and this is more than great.

The twin couple in front of me crack a big smile too, and soon they are clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor, making noise. I clap my hands with them in celebration.

“She is coming back.” Noah comes around the table, hugging me from behind and again showering me with kisses.

I was never one to have many friends. Usually it was just Bethany and Stephen, and a girl in my music class, but I don't know if I can consider her that, after all, we only talked during class and it was all very unrelated.

The point is that I have always envied those people who managed to have a large number of friends, and friends really, not just colleagues. Friends who call you for everything, who are always by your side, who enjoy your company, and who consider you family.

In this moment, with just Noah and Leah, I can see that I finally have these friends that I have wanted so much and without having to pretend to be something that I am not, without having to buy their attention, as I felt I needed it with Bethany. And if I'm happy like this with just the two of them, I can't wait to see the others.

“So, you said you were reading your diary, did you remember anything else?” Leah asks excitedly.

All the happiness and euphoria that had surrounded my body disappears. The bloody page with the bloody day comes back into my mind. They both notice my mood drop.

“I remembered a day when I went to have coffee with Ash, but…” I play with the edge of my cup, trying not to get too much into that energy. “I found a day where I tell about what happened.” I look at them, who are serious and attentive.

“Do you want us to read it with you?” Leah holds my hand across the table, gently patting it.

I shake my head positively and point to the notebook on the coffee table in the living room. I watch her return with the notebook and hand it to me. I open it to the marked page and stare at my handwriting again.

"I haven't had the courage to tell either Ashton, Leah, or much less Luke. I can't tell if I'm ashamed of it or just afraid of it happening again. The problem is that it's really starting to get to me, to the point where I get irritated when I see Luke and Leah talking and it shouldn't be like that. So I need to get it all out so that I can start over.

It was our anniversary. I snuck out of my work to see Stephen at his house. I wanted to deliver his gift soon. Two streets before his house I ran into Noelle, his mother, and told her I wanted to surprise him, so she told me to get the key under the third vase and go in.

Maybe it would have been better just to ring the doorbell and not have to see it. I was very quiet so as not to be discovered, and in the end, I was the one who discovered something."

My racing heart hurts from beating so hard. I can't keep my breathing normal, holding it at various times. I feel like it's a suspense book where no one wants to find out what's behind the door of the abandoned house, but needs to, in order to continue the story.

I notice in some letters and words the ink smudged and I know it was from my tears and it only hurts me more.

"There is no word to describe the disgust, pain, and anger of seeing him and her in bed naked. My until then boyfriend, and my until then best friend.

And what only made it worse was that she didn't even try to explain herself, didn't show an ounce of regret, even if it was a pretense. Nothing. While he tried to say it was nothing like that, Bethany still says it had been going on for a long time."

I close the journal angrily and throw it away, stopping on the other side of the long table. The lump in my throat gets bigger, but I don't want to cry, not for this and not again.

Deep down, I have always had a flea behind my ear with the two of them. The countless rides Stephen insisted on giving her. The way she always motivated me to fight with him, for reasons I thought were small and insignificant. But it was my first serious relationship, what did I know about dating, right? Bethany, on the other hand, had dated seriously twice.

It had always been there, I just didn't want to see it.

“I always suspected it and never, never wanted to believe it. After all, he was my boyfriend and she was my best friend. They wouldn't be able to.” I let out a humorless laugh.

The twins look at me fearfully, as if I were a mother scolding them.

“But you know what the worst part is? I believed him. He looked me in the face and said that nothing happened. That Luke was to blame for our breakup! How stupid of me!” I shout, picking up the diary and throwing it further away, as if it would hurt Stephen.

“Wait, what?” Leah speaks loudly.

I look at her startled and realize what I said. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I didn't want anyone to know about the meeting.

“You met with Stephen? When?” she turns the table around, coming closer. I swallow dryly.

“Yesterday morning," I begin softly, but it was enough for Leah to cover her eyes with her hands and snort. Noah laid his head on his arms, sighing as well. “I was confused and needed to hear and see him.” I start to defend myself.

“After everything your mother told you about him?” Leah asks.

“And you think I would believe her? Would you? With amnesia on account?” I retort. Leah takes a deep breath and denies it with her head, giving me reason.

“But you could have told, or asked, I don't know.” Noah ponders.

“Nobody would have let me, I know nobody likes him and rightly so.” I give in.

“That explains a lot.” Leah comments softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

“Explains what?” I ask confused.

She looks at Noah, who nods, giving her the green light. Like me, she swallows dryly before she begins.

“Explain why Luke is so grouchy and weird. Not wanting to come see you.” he answers, poking at the seam of the chair.

NO! No! No! No! No! Please, no. He can't have seen.

“You have to take me to his house.” I ask, heading for the hall.

“What?” the two shout following me.

“I need to talk to him. Now!” I shout the last part, putting on a jacket with some difficulty.

“But why?” Noah helps me.

“Because I think he saw something that wasn't supposed to happen and got it wrong.” I open the door, going to call the elevator.

“Oh, no!” they understand and soon follow me.

Things between Luke and me may be messed up, but the last thing I want him to think is that I cheated on him.

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ficsbynani · 4 years ago

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Chasing Delilah (1)

Chris Evans/OC

March 22, 2018

Atlanta, Ga

Honeylux Studios

"Thank you for filling in on such short notice. Kendra is sick and can't do it."

Delilah nodded fixing her hair in the mirror in front of her, she had heard the same thing from stuffy nosed Kendra when she called a couple hours earlier, so she didn't want to hear it again from their supervisor, Kelly. Doing the interview didn't bother her, the constant last minute changes was starting to annoy her.

"What is this interview for anyway?"

"It’s for endgame."

“Like Avengers? Marvel?”

Kelly stared at her and nodded slowly, “Yeah. What else would I be talking about, Delilah?"

Turning away from the mirror Delilah stared at her for a moment about to say something smart until she heard one of the assistants call her name. She approached the assistant accepting the cards she was handed. The assistant ran through how much time Delilah had for the interview, what to expect for the duration and all of her angles.

"Got it, honey. How much time do I have until they get here?"

"He was supposed to be here about 10 minutes ago but he's running a little late."

Delilah nodded. "And how long ago was that?"

The assistant looked at her watch and hummed, “About twenty minutes ago. He's probably stuck in traffic or coming from filming. He should be here soon."

"He's here now. I assume you two were waiting on me."

Both women looked away from each other toward the voice. Delilah walked towards him with a polite smile and her hand extended to him. "Glad you made it safely. Hope it wasn't too much trouble."

He shook her hand enthusiastically with a big, wide smile. "It was no problem at all. I'm sorry to have kept you ladies waiting like that on me. I'm usually pretty punctual."

"It's no problem, Mr. Evans, we didn't mind waiting."

Delilah shook her head a small smile on her face, "Speak for yourself, I did mind."

"Please call me Chris," he chuckled, “Well in that case, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting..." His voice trailed off waiting for her to tell him her name.

“Its Delilah, Chris."

"Accept my apology, please, Miss Delilah."

Shifting her weight from foot to foot, Delilah nodded at him with a polite smile. "I guess l accept your apology Chris. You ready for your interview or you need a little time to get yourself together?"

"No ma'am I'm ready to get down to it if you are." he replied smiling.

Both went to their respective seats, neither spoke as they were given last minute touch ups from hair and make up. Delilah was given some last minute information from Kelly just before the cameras started rolling.

Delilah put on her big, bright smile looking into her camera, “Welcome to Honeylux Backstage Pass, I'm Delilah Anderson. With us today we have Captain America himself, Chris Evans." She paused for him to speak to his camera. "I'm glad to have you here today."

His brows rose playfully, "Thank you for inviting me, Delilah. That's a great dress by the way. You look gorgeous."

"Thank you, I see you trying to match me, Chris."

A hearty laugh escaped him when he looked down at himself and back at her realizing that they were pretty much wearing the same shade of brown. "So that was you I saw peeking in my bedroom window this morning."

Delilah smirked, “Oh, Chris, if I'm going through all that to peek in your window, I’d go all the way and climb right in."

A light blush rose across his cheeks that he tried to conceal by wiping his hand over his mouth and beard. "Noted, duly noted."

Delilah laughed, glancing down at her cards. "Since I've gotten you all the way here, tell me what you've been up to."

"As you know I'm here in Atlanta filming Endgame. And that's why I was a little late today, we got a little behind in our schedule."

"A little late? " She asked, chuckling. “Since you brought it up, you were not a little late, you were a lot late. You didn't want to come see me and Honeylux, Chris? I'm hurt.”

Chris laughed again, starting to get a little flustered, unable to hide the blush that creeped into his cheeks. "No, that's not it. I wouldn't do you like that, Delilah.”

“You wouldn't do me like that," she repeated playfully, “Then how would you do me, Chris?" They held each other's stare for a few moments before Chris broke and looked away rubbing his hands over his clothed thighs trying to dry his sweating palms "Chris, what do you like to do when you're not filming? I know that you've pretty much been in Atlanta on and off for the last two almost three years."

"I really don't do much. I go to a good restaurant every now and then, go to the gym and go home."

"Come on, Chris. I know you do more than that. You don't seem like a homebody to me. In fact a little birdie told us that you're a bit of a night owl."

"I... Who told you that? Was it RDJ?” he laughed.

Delilah laughed giving him a playful innocent shrug, "I can't reveal my sources. "So let's try this again, what does Chris Evans do when he's not filming?"

"When I'm not filming I may, possibly go out to a bar or two or have a little party or go to a party."

An hour later, they wrapped their interview and Chris left her with a promise to not be late next time and a big hug. Delilah avoided her boss knowing that she wanted to talk about the flirtatious parts during the interview. If they were gonna make her do that interview last minute then she was going to do it her way.

---

"Here you go. A strawberry lemonade vodka."

Delilah look up from her phone frowning, "I didn't order this. You can take it back."

"Its from a gentleman in the booth across from you. He asked me to bring it." The waitress discreetly nodded her head in the direction. "Trust me, you wanna take it."

She looked around the waitress spotting the patron who sent it and slid out of her booth. "I'm gonna move over there. You can send my food there." Not waiting for a response, Delilah grabbed her drink and crossed the bar sliding into the empty side of the booth. "An apology drink?"

"That depends. Are you accepting?"

"Hmmm … I accept but this doesn't completely make up for it."

Chris laughed, his hand going to his left pec, "This is not gonna be easy, I see. So what are you doing here? Alone at that?"

"I'm here to get my fried pickles."

"And why are you alone?"

"Hmm … maybe you should've been a journalist. You're pushing that question of yours," she responded taking a sip of her drink.

He shrugged, turning his baseball cap backwards. "Learned from the best I guess."

Shaking her head, Delilah stirred her drink around with her straw. "You didn't. If you had then you would've known why I was here alone before you asked the question."

"Okay, you got me there. Can I have an answer?"

"I'm alone because I'm always alone, Chris. I hope that answers your question."

"So since you're alone and always alone you wouldn't have a reason to turn down an offer to go to a more comfortable place."

"Comfortable place like," she drug out staring at him, "your place?"

Chris returned her stare, feeling sure of himself in the moment. Mentally applauding himself for not blushing the way he did during the interview. "My place. It's a few minutes down the street. You keep pulling on the sleeves of your sweater so I assume that you're cold in here, its an unusually chilly evening and my place just happens to be pretty warm. Got a fireplace."

Delilah smirked looking away for a moment, "Observant. Tryna get me to your place using your fireplace. Smart."

"Thank you. So you'll have your pickles and drink and then we'll go try out this fireplace. It's a date."

"I guess so then. But what are you gonna have?"

Chris peered over at her from the top of his glass as he drank from it. Once she returned his eye contact, he winked at her.

---

The pair enjoyed their drinks, food and conversation with no interruptions. Chris' cute family stories and funny stories from set had their flirtation a bit forgotten by Delilah. Their conversation became animated a few times leading to one or the other reaching out for small, innocent touches every now and then. Their playful banter continued on their walk to his condo.

He spoke politely to the men coming out of the building as he and Delilah entered. Their conversation ceased on the elevator ride up. Chris whistled softly to fill the silence until the elevator pinged on the 20th floor.

"Ladies first," Chris offered playfully.

Delilah walked out in front of him, tucking her clutch under her left arm. She looked down between them when she felt him hook her pinky with his then at him laughing at the smile on his face.

"Don't want you to get lost or anything. It's a pretty long hallway." He kept her pinky hooked tight until he let them into his condo. She stood in her spot looking around as soon as he cut the lights on, she could hear him locking the door. "This is my temporary home. Not bad right?"

She shook her head slowly, "Not bad at all, Chris. Now where's this fireplace?"

Chris shrugged off his jacket and took off his hat sitting them on the stand beside them. He put his hand the the small of her back giving her a gentle push. "Let me give you a tour. I'll make the fireplace our last stop."

Chris stood with his hand on the doorknob of the last room he needed to show her. "What do you think so far?"

"It's nice. I could almost buy you being a homebody when you have downtime," she joked, "Almost. But I like it. The floor to ceiling windows and that shower are definitely being added to my wishlist."

"You like the shower? Well if you're nice, I'll let you use it." He joked opening the last door. "And the reason you're here, lounge room. Or if you'd like the fireplace room."

Laughing, Delilah walked into the room and tossed her clutch onto the sofa. Her eyes lit up a bit when it lit up. She assumed he did it from behind her with a remote. "Fireplace room, I like it, we'll call it that."

Standing behind her, Chris put an arm loosely around her neck pulling her closer to him sending a chill through her. "Cold still?" He asked in her ear.

"Uuuh," she hummed biting down on her lip, "You could say that."

"I can warm you up, if you want." He spoke in a low tone moving his other hand to her waist, gripping it. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Had he not been so close to hear and felt the vibrations from her body as she spoke, he wouldn't have heard her answer. Releasing his hold on her, Chris pulled his shirt over his head then removed his shoes and socks. He approached her again, this time kneeling in front of her undoing the clasp on her right heel then the left and tossed them aside. His hands traveled slowly up the outside of her legs, from her ankle to her thighs, disappearing under her dress.

His hands went to her panties, slowly pulling the thin straps down her hips from under her sweater. She braced herself on his shoulders stepping out of the thin fabric. Drawing back a bit, he pushed her sweater up above her navel holding it there looking directly at her pussy. Delilah pulled the sweater off, tossing it into the sofa on top of her clutch.

Chris caressed her thighs, her back arched slightly, and his hand moved from her thigh towards my quivering center. Using his other hand, Chris put her right leg over her shoulder pulling her closer. Gently he parted her lips and ran the palm of his hand against her clit, stoking Delilah's inner fires. A soft chuckle escaped him when her body jerked in response, followed by a deep guttural groan. His head lowered a bit moving in closer, deeply inhaling her scent. Then leaned closer and started to lick at her wetness, from bottom to top, the long smooth strokes, making her knees buckle prompting him to hold her up as he worked. Giving only hums in response to her moans, her groans and her whimpering.

He sucked on her clit, and swirling his tongue around it at the same time, pushing her to the brink repeatedly. Her hips bucked against his face, lifting and rolling in an instinctive rhythm. Chris followed Delilah relentlessly, devouring her and then slid one finger deep inside her, following with another. They slid in and out while Chris focused his attention on her clit. Delilah could feel herself slowly building as the flames were in the fireplace were.

Chris double his efforts, feeling her push his face into her center. Delilah's body locked, becoming rigid as the convulsions hit me, staggering in their intensity. She came crashing down as the flames started to crackle a bit louder.

She cried out loudly as her stomach muscles clenched and tightened. Her body shuddered with the aftershocks and Chris stayed there slurping and sucking as the aftershocks faded slowly away from her. Pulling away, Chris started to plant slow kisses up to her stomach, looking wickedly up at Delilah.

"Warmed up?" He asked standing to his full height licking remnants of her from his lips.

"Very. Helluva first kiss."

Closing the small gap between them, Chris lowered his head capturing her full lips in a kiss. His hands instinctively went to her ass, grabbing and massaging it while her hands rubbed up his chest meeting at the back of his neck both deepening the kiss.

"How was the second one?" His words were a soft whisper against her lips.

"Just as good as the first."

Chris grabbed her hands and kissed her palms then placed them on his belt. "You mind giving me a hand with that?"

An audible groan passed Delilah's lips as she tugged his belt open. Her eyes met his, silently asking him for permission to unbutton his jeans, smiling when he ever so slightly nodded. Delilah had them open and down in seconds, her hands went to grab him. Chuckling, he stepped out his jeans putting his hands on top of her easing them off. He pulled her in front of the sofa and turned her around, her back facing him.

"You remember what you said to me during the interview, Delilah?"

Delilah paused to think. "I said a lot to you."

"You said that I didn't want to come see you. Ring a bell?"

"Yeah, I remember."

Chris caressed her sides, "Put your knees up on the sofa and grab the back. And I said I wouldn't do you like that. What was your response to that?"

Delilah did as she was told, looking over her shoulder at him. "I asked how would you do me."

Leaned down to kiss her lower back, using his tongue to trail up her spine to her neck. Her back arching in response, curses falling from her lips as she tilted her head back.

Chris gently pushed her hair away from her ear, nipping at the skin below it. "You asked me how I would do you. My answer," he bent his knees a little lining himself up with her entrance slowly pushing inside her, "Like this. Hold on, beautiful."

He moved slowly at first, standing back up straight and placed a hand on her back keeping it arched. He gave her just a little. Not going all the way in, and pulling back out.

He teased her this way a few times, until she started begging him to give it all to her. In that moment all she wanted was for him to bury his dick inside inside her. He smirked moving his hand to her shoulder and thrust his dick deep inside her. Delilah moaned loudly and gripped the sofa right as he pulled back and thrust again. Slow, long, hard thrust, in and out. In and out.

Chris started moving faster acknowledging he desires she was moaning out to him. Him burying his shaft deep inside of her wasn't enough. She started moaning, begging for more, faster, harder. She wanted all of him. He picked up the pace, moving faster, careful not to disturb her curls. He wet a finger and reached around to stimulate her clit while plunging deep inside of her. Chris felt her start to squeeze him and his smirk grew into a wide grin. He thrusts hard and fast, until she screams for mercy, cumming again. He was more than pleased with himself to have brought her to a second orgasm.

Chris eased himself out of her watching her head drop and slowly start to catch her breath. "Turn around and sit down," He instructed gently. Delilah turned slowly, now eye to eye with his dick and her mouth started to water. "Can I touch your hair?"

"Yes, Chris. It's already sweated out," she joked softly.

A chuckle escaped him, one hand went to the back of her head urging her closer and the other brought his dick to her lips tapping for her to open which she did.

She sucked him the same way he had just fucked her. Hard and fast. Careful not to hurt her, Chris gripped Delilah's hair, holding her in place. He paused for a second to firmly plant his feet before thrusting into her face. Strings of curses and groans came from him feeling her stroke and massage his balls with his nails as he fucked her face. He groaned louder, telling her that he was about to cum. Delilah braced herself just as he exploded, filling her mouth with his seed. Delilah swallowed every drop and slowly licked his dick clean as he released his hold on her and pulled out.

---

Waking up warm, Delilah felt an arm around her waist and slowly opened her eyes. The events of the night before all coming back to her. A great night that she wasn't sure what it meant, her body was sore beyond belief but she was satisfied. Her mind and body was conflicting with her. She enjoyed herself but she didn't know what to say to him. Maybe it was a one night thing, a good end to a heavily flirtatious day.

Easing his arm off of her, Delilah crept out of the bed putting a pillow in her place. She limped around the room looking for her clothes for five minutes until it hit her.

"Fireplace room, duh," she whispered limping out of his bedroom.

Dressed aside from her panties that she couldn't find, Delilah rushed as fast and quietly as she could out of his condo. She fought hard against herself on the elevator ride down to the lobby to keep herself from going back up to his place and starting again.

She decided against sitting in the lobby while she waited on her Uber and stood outside. Texts from Kelly about other interviews she had lined up came through momentarily taking Delilah's attention from the man she'd just left. But nothing could take her attention from the ache at the apex of her thighs.

#Chasing Delilah #Chris & Delilah #Chris Evans/OC #chris evans #chris evans fic

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mickmarstookmyheart · 4 years ago

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Bad Memories

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Synopsis: While you are trying to enjoy your peaceful morning with Mick, your sister calls you with az unexpected demand. Your past comes up again which you don't like.

(I will correct the mistakes tomorrow)

Being the girlfriend of a musician meant constant tours and music all the time at everywhere. Seeing the guys almost every night on stage playing their chosen instruments made you jelaous. Then you remembered that you wouldn't stand on stage and play. Never.

It was a rainy and overcast October day. You and Mick chose to stay in bed a bit more since you had nothing to do that day. Your head was laying on his chest which was rising slowly. You loved listening to his steady heartbeat. His fingertips were caressing you bareback while his other hand were behind his head.

"Miiiiick. Please!" You asked nicely.

"Yeah?" He sighed.

"Would you be so kind and make some coffee?" You looked up with puppy eyes. He rolled his.

"I made it yesterday, too." He stated. He knew that these kind of peaceful mornings are rare and tried to enjoy every second of it.

"Good point. Then give me 5 minutes." You murmured into his chest. After a while you heard Mick's quiet snoring making you drift back to sleep, too. A loud ringing noise woke you up from your peaceful dreams.

"I will kill whoever this is." Mick groaned reaching for the telephone. "It's your killer, what do you want?"

"Hey, Mick. It's me, Isabelle. Sorry if I woke you up." Your sister apologized on the other end of the phone.

"Oh, hey. What's up? Haven't heard from you like in ages!" Mick's face brightened up while you frowned thinking who this lucky person could be.

"Nothing special, just the usual. Is (Y/N) there? I really need to talk to her." She asked.

"Yeah, sure. Is there a problem?"

"Well, nothing serious." Mick handed you the phone.

"It's (Y/N)." You said with a quite sleepy tone. You sat up while pulling some blanket from Mick who answered with a pillow behind your head. "Hey!" You snapped making him smirk.

"It's me. Your sister." Isabelle started to get annoyed. "(Y/N)! Are you here?"

"Yeah. What is it?"

"You know there is gonna be a party. Here at university. A Halloween party."

"That's good, I guess?" Making a phone call this tired didn't help.

"Sure. Also, me and some guys formed a band you know."

"Really? You haven't told me." It was good to finally speak to her. It was quite a long ago since you have a nice sister to sister conversation. You glanced around in the room and spotted an oversized tee on the ground. You got out of bed which was hard cause Mick didn't let you at first. You couldn't help it cause you felt the urge to walk when you were speaking on the telephone. "And... what's the name of the band?"

"Eggheads."

"That's what I call creative." You giggled.

"Wasn't me who came up with the idea, you know." Isabelle huffed.

"Maybe you should've asked Mick. He has some ideas." You glanced at the guitarist who tilted his head not having any clue why he was mentioned. "So what's the deal, sis?"

"There is this party and the head of the uni asked us to perform."

"Congrats. That's a big thing!" You cheered.

"Let me finish. So yesterday our guitarist, Mike, had an accident and broke his arm. He sure won't be able to perform."

"Oh, that suck. I'm so sorry. Also, sorry for not performing." You played with the wire of the phone.

"Well, don't be. Cause I have a wonderful idea!" She had a devilish smile on her face, unfortunately you couldn't see. If you could, you would've known what she was up to. "There is a girl I know who could play instead of Mike."

"Good to hear. Is she at the uni, too?" You asked still not suspecting a thing.

"Not exactly although one of my best friends." She said sighing. "I'm talking about you, (Y/N)."

"What?" The blood froze in your veins. "You aren't serious, right?"

"Don't tell me you are still not over what happened years ago!"

"I am...just.. it's pretty hard." You were rubbing your arm with the other.

"Please, (Y/N)!" She begged. "It will be fucking cool, I promise."

"I don't know. I haven't played since then. I will mess up."

"Give the phone to Mick."

"Why?"

"Heard me. Give me the guitar lord." Isabelle ordered. You handed the device back to Mick who took it happily. He was really fond of your sister.

"Did you manage to solve the problem?" Mick asked while he was eyeing your worried facial expression.

"Almost. Would you refresh my sister's guitar skills in two weeks?" Mick's eyes widened while you shook your head.

∆

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mick asked watching the red light from the car.

"Tell you what?" You were looking out the window to avoid eye contact. You knew what he was talking about and it wasn't your favourite topic.

"That you can play the guitar."

"I thought I can have secrets. And it's not a big thing."

"If you say so." He was watching you from the corner of his eye. He noticed that you were worried, well, rather freaked out. "Would you mind telling me why are you like this? Or is it a secret, too?"

"I fucking knew." You pulled your hoodie's strings stronger so nothing could be seen from your face. You crossed your arms and didn't say a word.

"You look like a kid who didn't get her Barbie." He chuckled.

"Haha. Very funny." You murmured.

"Aren't you happy that you can meet with Isabelle? Cause I sure am!" He smiled. Sometimes you were wondering why he liked your sister this much. Mick only tolerated people. "Hey. Mars to Earth. Are you here?" He asked while poking your belly making you giggle.

"Stop." You tried to catch your breath. Mick smiled, he loved hearing your laugh. "And I'm sorry for my behaviour. It's just a quite sensitive topic for me. Only Isabelle knows about this and she doesn't think it's important." You were playing with the strings of your hoodie. "I guess, you want to hear the story."

"Only, if you want to. But yeah, I would love to hear it." He smirked. You took a deep breath and started you monologue.

"Not a long story, don't worry. So years ago some friends of mine formed a band. It were the boys and me. We were a cover band but tried to create some original ones though I was the only one who wanted that."

"Sadly, I can relate." He sighed.

"I'm sorry." You took a look at Mick who placed your hand into his. "Unfortunately, this was the minor problem. After one of our concerts, I had an accident. I fell of my motorbike. I broke my arm and one of my legs. The doctor said I was lucky." You had a sad smile on your face. Later, deep down you wished you had died instead.

"We were on a so called mini tour, we were performing at universities and high schools. Since I was at the hospital I felt horrible because we couldn't perform. At least, that's what I thought."

"You were replaced, right?" Mick squeezed your hand feeling sorry for you.

"Yes. But that wasn't my problem. I thought they were my friends. They didn't even visit me. After, I recovered more or less, I went to our place where we usually practiced. There was a new guitarist, a guy, who told me to fuck off." You laughed. "I was on my way to punch the guy, but our singer stopped me. He asked why I was there and that he fired me. His reason was that they didn't want a girl in their band and that I wasn't playing well anyway." You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. A tear ran down your face and your eyes were gloomy. You chest was heavy but you tried your best not to cry.

"Fuck them. Fuck them for embarrassing you. And where is that famous band now? Nowhere! Darling, I'm so sorry. But they don't deserve your tears." He wiped your tears with his thumb. "And I'm sure they still regret their decision. If you play as good as good pictures you take they are a dead band." He pecked your lips making you smile.

∆

"Are you ready (Y/N)?" Your sister asked. You and Isabelle's band along with Mick were at drummer's garage and were about to practice. It was the 5th day and you were improving. That's what Mick said though you didn't believe him. You nodded and started to play "Live Wire." On the set list there were Mötley, AC/DC, Van Halen, Scorpions, Bon Jovi and many more. An old good feeling took over when you touched the strings. Your fingers remembered and it made you happy. During the solo, Mick was admiring you, he adored your concentrating face and he noticed that you were enjoying it. When the band finished the song you were still in shock how good it had turned out. Mick was clapping as well as the others.

"Wow, (Y/N)! It was hell of a solo." Robert, the singer congratulated. Isabelle was the bass player, Tim the drummer who owned the garage. You ran your fingers through your hair in embarrassment. You still didn't get used to compliments regarding your play.

"Thanks. And are you sure Mike isn't angry?"

"Nah. He said it's pretty cool that the girlfriend of Mick Mars will substitute him." Tim snickered. "Also, he is apologizing for not being here. His mother didn't let him."

"Poor little 22-year-old boy." Isabelle chuckled putting down her bass. She walked over to you and took Mick's precious guitar from your hand.

"Don't worry. I won't smash it on the floor." She yelled seeing the guitarist's facial expression.

∆

Halloween. Costumes, candies, and spooky decoration everywhere. You wished you could dress up as a witch or something cause that fluff you called your hair was hidious. Vince lent his bandana as a mascot and Mick one of his guitars.

"I look horrible." You looked in the mirror dealing with your hair.

"Babe, this is how we normally look on stage. You look badass. Also, very sexy." He murmured to your neck hugging you from behind.

"He is right, sis." Isabelle came back to the dressing room with a bigger fluff. You held your hand over your mouth not to laugh loudly. You noticed that Mick's was in the same state.

"I think I will go. Find those idiots and keep an eye on them." Mick said while pressing one last kiss on your cheek and left the room.

"(Y/N)! Listen, you will be great. Just remeber to relax. Take a deep breath and the key is to enjoy. Concentrate on the music, feel the music. Watch Mick, pretend you two are the only ones in the room." She placed her hands on your shoulders looking in your eyes.

You were the last one who stepped on stage and the crowd were already insane.

"Alright, alright ladies and gentlemen. Before we start this hella concert, I would like to introduce our temporary guitar player, (Y/N). You will see a powerful sister duo on stage tonight. Prepare yourself. The show is beginning. Are you READY?" Robert screamed in the microphone as the crowd shouted as one person.

During the concert you felt an energy which you couldn't compare to anything. You felt powerful and you thought you could accomplish anything at that moment.

"I would be scared if I were you, Old Man." Vince stated as he was watching you from the side of the stage with Mick. "We might get you replaced with (Y/N). She is sexier." Mick kicked the singer in the ankle making him groan.

∆

Taglist: @leatherandheels @safari-karrot @littlemisscare-all @crazyrockrlady

#motley crue #glam rock #mick mars #rocknroll #80srock #80s music #vince neil #mick mars x reader #mick mars imagine #mick mars x oc #motley crue imagine #motley crue x reader #mötley crüe

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ggreactionsandscenarios · 4 years ago

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Jennie x Reader

Jealous

Jennie was overseas for Blackpink's Worldwide tour, you miss her so much, it's been almost a month since you last saw each other in real life.

You knew that Jennie was working rather than enjoying herself being far away from you but you couldn't help yourself from getting...

...jealous.

She was at Coachella with her members, three gorgeous women, meeting other famous and beautiful women like Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande. Your self control had its limits.

The fact that the amount of face time calls she made or answered was decreasing a little more every day didn't help. The one time you complained about it she told you to not be like that, that it was mostly work.

You trusted her in a regular basis but not having seen each other recently and her being at a festival, made you scared that she might just forget about you.

You were in your shared living room watching her performance from the night before. You couldn't help but grit your teeth as you witnessed how your girlfriend was dancing or rather grinding against Lisa.

It made you furious to see them that close when you were supposed to be the only one how could touch Jennie.

You turned off the TV too upset to watch the end of it. You rather be in bed than watching your girlfriend being touchy with her bestfriend in front of thousands of people.

You wake up as someone hug you from behind, at first you were about to go back to sleep without even questioning it. But once you realised, you stood up rapidly pushing the person away.

"Who the hell are you ?!"

"Did you give the key of our home to someone else to even ask ?"

"Jen ?! But you .. I thought you were still in Europe ?"

She sat next to you hugging your waist.

"I came back in the night. If you have watched yesterday's stage you should know, so I guess you didn't.."

She was disappointed and it shows.

"I did ..."

"But ?"

Jennie had her eyes closed she seemed exhausted and you were there about to complain.

"I didn't watch the end."

Your girlfriend was now frowning looking up at you. She pouted.

"Was it boring ?"

"No not at all."

"So why didn't you watched me sing until the end ?"

Now she was more teasing than complaining. She was wearing that smirk you knew way too much. You knew by that behaviour that she wasn't about to let you go with it but you refused to talk and escaped towards the living room.

Of course now that she knew something was up Jennie didn't seem sleepy at all. She followed you taking her place next to you in the couch.

"Well let's watch the end together, I'm curious to see where you stopped."

You didn't have the time to disagree that she turn on the tv, on the big screen was the exact moment which made you angry.

The frozen image of Jennie and Lisa's sensual dance made Jennie understand everything right away.

"You were jealous."

She wasn't looking at you her eyes scanning the scene in front of her.

"Yes.. I'm sorry, it's just that we didn't see each other since you left and we barely talked so watching you being touchy with another woman even though it's Lisa made my blood boil. Now that I think about it I know its stupid I'm sorry."

She didn't answer directly still scanning how she was pressed against Lisa's body.

"I understand. Actually I am the one who is sorry, I let you believe I wasn't thinking about you. I didn't think about what you would see that could make you believe I was enjoying being away more than being with you."

You were shocked she was feeling guilty about a thing that has hurted you purely because of distance and not the action itself. You were grateful to have a so comprehensive girlfriend.

"It's okay I was just missing you but now that we're here we could just cuddle and enjoy being finally reunited."

She smiled at you brightly and lay against you in the couch, she fall asleep in a second because of the jetlag and how exaushted she was.

You stayed awake contemplating her face most of that day.

-Ael

#girl group #kpop girls #girlfriend #jennie blackpink #blackpink #blackpink scenarios #jennie kim #jennierubyjane #jennie #blackpink imagines #jennie x reader #jennie scenarios #jennie imagines

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deliverydefresas · 4 years ago

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moving step by step (together)

second and last thing i posted on wp that i haven't posted here ((i think)) feel free to ignore if you've read this on wattpad already, as i'm just posting it in case i need to refer to it later.

(not proofread. it never is)

prompt(?): domestic!simbar deciding to move in together (toanothercountry)

When her day began, she didn't imagine it'd end up the way it did. In fact, to Ámbar the day felt like an endless nightmare.

Between her washing machine breaking, one of her kitchen cloths accidentally catching on fire when she was making her breakfast, her car not starting and thus being late to her first class, forgetting an important paper at home and losing 1/5 of her grade for one of the toughest classes in her semester; Ámbar just wanted to call it a day and forget she even had to endure it.

"The professor told me he'd let me turn it the paper, as long as I added 10,000 words more; and hear this: he won't give me the 20% of the grade, but a 15%, tops." She still needed to get her laundry done, so she'd opted to come by Simón's loft (and Nico and Pedro's too) when her classes had ended. While she waited for it to be done, she'd grabbed a glass of wine while venting her boyfriend's ears off. "So now I need to find something to write about that's worth 1000 words of coherency, otherwise I'll be lucky to even have a 10%. And God knows I need it."

Simón kissed her head sympathetically, adjusting her head - previously leaning on his shoulder- a little bit closer to his neck. "You will, little gem. You're the smartest one in your class, I'm sure you'll find something and, it's penultimate semester, you can do it."

She groaned, "I wish it were as easy as that." He kissed her cheek this time, and she snuggled into him a bit more, needing his support to make her feel less stressed. "Enough of me, how was your day?"

He chuckled, "not as interesting as yours, I'm afraid. Did a little songwriting, had a video-call with a magazine, changed my sheets..." he winked at her, making her laugh.

"Aw, do you want me to give you a gold start? Maybe I should call your mom, tell her her little boy is a nice young man who makes his own bed." Simón leaned in to bite her cheek, causing her to and almost spill her wine all over the couch, and to prevent this, the red liquid ended up on her shirt. Technically, it was one of his, since today's clothes had been thrown in the washer with the rest of the laundry, but still, spilling wine on her clothes wasn't nice. "Simón!" she scoffed him, which only made him laugh at her. He told her to grab another of his old shirts, while he refilled her glass.

She stood up then, cursing him all the way to his room to grab one of the 'pajama' shirts he kept in his top drawer. Ámbar heard him call to her once she had put it on; "hey, is tacos okay with you for dinner? Or do you want me to order you something else?"

"What are the guys having?" she questioned, to prepare herself in case the others ordered less than what their stomachs wanted to eat, and later lead them to steal her food.

"Pedro's staying at Delfi's and Nico is out with his fling, so nothing." Simón answered her, entering his room with his cellphone at hand.

"Then the usual." She told him simply, her boyfriend nodded. "Hey, can I use your laptop to check my e-mail? My phone died."

Simón nodded again. "Sure. Hello? I would like to order two pastor gringas..." he left the room again, not before pointing at his desk, where his laptop was sitting on. She quickly turned it on, taking it to the living room to wait for Simón to finish the call.

Her boyfriend was one of those people who didn't put a password on the device itself, but on the archives in it (which were mostly lyrics, tracks, and unreleased songs), so it didn't take long until she had the browser opened.

Ámbar tried to ignore whatever Simón had open in his last tab, but the images displayed caught her attention.

No, it wasn't porn, nor was it anything compromising. At least not in that way.

Her boyfriend had a Real Estate website open, showing apartments in sale. However, that wasn't what surprised her – he'd talked about finding his own place before-, but that all the options listed Mexico City as their location.

He'd never mentioned moving back to Mexico. They'd planned vacations to his hometown Cancún, sure, but somehow in all their talks about the future she'd had assumed their plans took place in Buenos Aires, close to her family instead of his. She could deal with him going on tour for weeks – she didn't bear months as well as she did weeks, and for this he always flew her in- but to live in two different countries? How was their relationship supposed to work in that scenario? Would it even work out? Sure, she was almost over with her degree, but-

"Little gem," her eyes snapped from the screen to where Simón was standing, by the kitchen's door, "I ordered you an almond horchata, is that okay?" she kept staring at him. "What? Is my laptop giving you problems? Your mail?"

She sighed. "No, I actually haven't opened my mail yet." He gave her a confused look.

"Then what's it? You've been staring at the screen for at least two minutes."

"When were you planning on telling me you're moving to Mexico?"

His mouth shut, his eyes showed surprise and an underlying regret. "Uh... soon?"

"So it's true, then? You're moving there?" Ámbar didn't want her voice to sound as hurt as it did, but she couldn't conceal it, either. After all, this was her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with, and who she'd loved for years now... to imagine him living so far away from her, it hurt her deeply.

To find out like this, instead of from his own mouth, was like salt to the wound. Her already shitty day was turning for the worse.

Simón sighed, his demeanor showing he was ashamed of it. "It's an option." He pursed his lips slightly, walking over to the couch, taking the device off her lap to turn her body towards him. "I was planning on talking to you about this sooner than later, I promise."

"When? When you had already bought it? Or when I had to say goodbye at the airport?" she couldn't help but dab at him, her temper was talking for her right then, "and what do you mean with 'it's an option'? You're looking for a place already, surely it's more than simple 'option'."

Simón let out a sigh, a sign he wasn't sure how to explain it to her, "I- have you noticed how most of our label meetings have been taking place in México?" She nodded, it was hard not to. The boys and him didn't really leave the city unless they absolutely had to, which could be summed up in three reasons: touring, vacations, and meetings. She'd always frown a little when those meetings took place, because she couldn't really understand why they had to leave when their label had offices in BsAs, but never really dared to ask Simón, afraid she'd come out as clingy for not wanting him to leave her for a couple days.

"I just assumed all the 'important' people chose to meet there instead of flying down here."

He scratched his nape. "It's a little bigger than that. Their HQ has always been up there, and their offices here have worked on a smaller scale for years; however, they've wanted all their more... 'recognizable' artists to be closer for a while now."

"So, they're making you move there?"

"Yes and no. They've been nagging us since the beginning to move to Mexico City, but it's only now we've – well, I've- considered it as an option."

"Why? Don't Pedro and Nico want, too?"

Simón grimaced. "They've already been considering it for a couple of years." Oh. Now that she thought about it, Delfina had hinted multiple times over the months 'the possibility' of working in another country. She'd always assumed she meant taking international jobs for a short period while Pedro was out on tour too, but now she guessed she'd meant for her to imagine that possibility, too.

It seemed like she'd assumed lots of things, and it stung to know she'd been in the dark far longer than everyone else. Even Delfi – who'd been dating Pedro a considerably less time than she'd been with Simón- knew of this before her.

Which made her ask him once again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because you're still in uni, little gem, and I didn't want to move somewhere else while you were here; I still don't. I had a plan, honestly; I was going to wait until you neared graduation to slowly get you used to the idea, and, well, I also wanted to wait in case we didn't work out." She pursed her lips as she was still mad, but knew he had a point. He always did.

"You could've talked to me sooner, though. We could've planned this way sooner, make it easier for both." Ámbar sighed out, trying to get her anger out with it.

"I know, I get it now, and I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely, grabbing one of her hands to kiss it. "This in no way is me telling you I'm moving tomorrow and leaving you here, little gem, I'd never do that. Hell, I don't even think I could. It's just..."

"An option." She finished for him, sighing again. "I guess I- I don't know, maybe I could start looking at internships in CDMX? When- when would this take place anyway? And I have to talk to my mo-" her eyes widened, "God, my mom! What do I tell her if we go? She'll be all alone here!" Her voice sounded panicky even to her.

"Hey, it's okay, there's no hurry. We've already postponed this for years with the boys, another year or so won't change anything, in fact, we'll need all we can get to get papers and stuff in check. And your mom can always come with us if you're worried about her, no biggie." He told her, as if the three of them moving countries wasn't a big deal, or, y'know, extremely expensive.

"Do you seriously want my mom living with us, Simón?" she snapped at him, and immediately felt bad to do so. He was just trying to help her and then here she was, bitching on his offers. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just... overwhelmed, sorry." He shrugged it off.

"I was actually thinking of you two getting your own apartment but since you're oh so kindly offering to live together..." Her eyes widened once more, shocked. She hadn't realized she'd implied that. "... I guess we can either buy or rent one for ourselves and rent another for your mom."

"That's not what- I mean it's not necessary. An apartment for my mom and I would be okay if she even agrees to move."

Her boyfriend started pouting. "Are you saying you don't want to move in with me?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean-" she stopped talking once she saw a teasing grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

He shook his head, silently laughing as he reached out to sit her on his lap, hugging her waist tightly. "I'm not. I'm actually happy you asked me to move with you, so I don't have to when the time comes."

"I didn't ask you." She felt the need to point it out. "You just assumed I did."

"Because you assumed we'd live together. It's okay; if it were up to me I'd be living with you in a heartbeat, I've thought about it for a while."

She gulped. "You have?"

"Yeah, but since I'm living with two dudes and you're living with your mom... it just isn't viable." That got her thinking.

"Why haven't you gotten your own apartment yet? Any of you?"

Simón shrugged, leaning into their coffee table to grab their glasses. "Rent is cheaper when you divide into three, and all of us have been saving up to get our own pads for when we moved to CDMX."

"It was never a matter of 'if', was it? It was always a 'when' you moved." She already knew the answer, of course, so she didn't wait for him to answer. "What took you so long to do so? I'm sure you could've done so years ago, and now you're waiting for Delfi and I, I guess, but before? What held you back?"

He pondered it for a minute, didn't speak immediately. "Something always came up. At first, we didn't have enough money saved, then Nico's mom had an accident, Pedro wanting to stay until his little sister finished high school... then you. My guess is the universe was waiting for us to meet to let me leave the city." She couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're such a corny guy."

"Only for you, little gem, only for you." Ámbar took a sip of her wine before snuggling closer to his chest, earning her a kiss on her hair. "So, are we doing this?"

She pushed the anxiety of the unknown to the back of her mind, she knew that if she overthought about it she'd find reasons not to. Instead, she took a deep breath, intoxicating herself with the smell of soap and lotion that lingered on her boyfriend all the time.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but we're doing this together."

"Together," he repeated, giving her hand another kiss. "I like the sound of that."

#soy luna #simbar #simón álvarez #ámbar smith #my simbar ff #my sl ff #mine

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thebookwormfairy · 5 years ago

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What if Marinette had a Retired Police Dog Part 2

I've have had so many request for more Captain, so here you go. Also I just want to say thank you to the maribat community for adopting Captain into the community. Hopefully I do him justice.

Damian really did not want to say goodbye to Marinette yet, but as the sun dipped behind the buildings Marinette had to return to her hotel

Standing in front of the doors of her hotels they said their goodbyes

Marinette: Thanks for the great time Damian. Captain and I had a blast

Damian: I'm glad to hear that and really the pleasure was all mine

Damain bend down giving a kiss the the back of Marinette's hand

Marinette felt the blush grow on her face

Marinette: Will I be able to see you again?

Damian: Of course Angel maybe we can meet again tomorrow I can bring my dog Titus.

Marinette: Sure here's my number I can text you when I have free roam

Damian: I'll be waiting Goodnight Angel, Captain

Damian gave a little salute to the german sheperd

Captain gave a bark in goodbye while Marinette gave a little wave before heading into the hotel

Damain watch her walk away with a dreamy smile on his face until he couldn't see her any more.

Turning around Damian was met with the sight of his brothers all with teasing smiles on their face

Damian now scowling: Shut up morons

Dick: We didn't say anything baby bird

Damian: Your face did

The rest of the way home was spent teasing Damian about his lady love and Dick dramatically called her

Once Marinette had settled down after their day out she settled on her bed and made a call that was meant to be made earlier in the day

Dialing the number she looked up earlier she waited for the person on the other end to answer

Receptionist: Hello thank you for calling Wayne Enterprise, this is Cheryl how can I help you?

Marinette: Hello, I'm sorry for calling you so late, but I'm going to be in the French school trip group coming to tour the building tomorrow and I just had a quick question

Cheryl who was told by Dick earlier about Damian's little girlfriend knew exactly what to do

Cheryl: No problem sugar let me transfer you over to your tour guide. He can answer any question you might have.

Cheryl put Marinette on hold before she could protest about bugging the tour guide and made a call to Dick's cell phone

Dick: Hey Cheryl what do you need

Cheryl: Hey Dick so that girl you were telling about called me, with a question

Dick: No way. Connect her

Cheryl: Right away

Dick to his brothers: Guess who's on the phone

Jason: Damien's girlfriend?

Dick: Ding ding ding we have a winner

Marinette from phone: Hello?

Dick: Yes hello this is Mr. Grayson. How can I help you?

Marinette: Hello I'm Marinette and I'm so sorry for calling so late, but I had an important question to ask.

Dick: Don't worry Marinette, what's your question

Marinette: Well you see thanks to unforeseen circumstances my dog is actually with me on the trip. He's not a service dog, but he's really well trained and well behaved, and I was wondering if I could bring him with me on the tour. If the answer is no that's totally okay

Dick *thinking*: Omg she's adorable

Dick: That's completely fine. We have employees bring their dogs to work all the time. One more dog in the building won't make any more trouble

Marinette: Really thank you so much. And again I'm soooo sorry for calling so late. Have a goodnight

Dick: You too, I look forward to seeing you and your dog tomorrow

Dick: omg Baby Bird your girlfriend is sssooo adorable she was so sweet and shy and polite. I swear if I was talking to her in person I would have squeezed the life out of her

Damian: Don't you dare. You would just freak her out and make her never want to talk to me ever again

Tim: So you want to see her again?

Jason: It's sound like our Demon Spawn has found his true love

Damian could feel his face turn red

Damian: Shut up you idiots

Marinette: Good news Captain you're going to be able to come on the tour tomorrow

Captain gave Marinette a lick on the cheek to show that he understood and was happy about it

Marinette: Goodnight Captain. Goodnight Tikki

Tikki: Goodnight Marinette. Goodnight Captain

Marinette wrapped her arms around Captain snuggling her face into his fur as Tikki laid down on top of Captain

The next day

The class all gathered down in the lobby Marinette and Captain came down last but on time

And of course since Marinette looked happy and had Captain with her Lila had to throw a hissy fit

Lila: What are you doing Marinette. They probably don't allowed dogs at Wayne Enterprise

Ms. Bustier: She's right Marinette you shouldn't bring your dog with you. Captain will have to stay here.

Marinette: But Ms. Bustier I made sure to call ahead of time to make sure it was okay. And you wouldn't want Captain to be locked into a small room all day would you

As Marinette said that Captain looked to Ms. Bustier with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster

Ms. Bustier looking into Captain eyes and just couldn't say no

Ms. Bustier: Fine, but he's your responsibility Marinette, and I don't want to see any funny business between either of you. If I see either of you step a toe or paw out of line Captain will be spending the rest of his time in your hotel room. Am I understood?

Marinette: Yes Ms. Bustier! Thank you so much.

Marinette gave a big smile to her teacher before heading back to the class. Standing in the back of the group little away from every one.

Marinette: Dont worry Captain we just have to get through the tour then we can go meet up with Damian again, and we get to meet his dog Titus this time.

Captain gave her another quick kiss on the cheek when he heard somebody approach them

Adrien: Marinette why do you have to cause so much trouble. Captain would have been perfectly fine in the hotel room for a day

Captain forced his body between Adrien and Marinette not wanting the rude boy near his girl

Marinette: well good morning to you too Adrien. I don't see how having Captain with me is causing any problems. He literally only interacts with me. And for your information Captain would not be okay in the hotel all day today and then have to do it again tomorrow. Yesterday I made sure to call all the places we're going to over the trip to find out of Captain could along or not. Since we're spending all day tomorrow going to different museums he won't be able to come with us it would be cruel to lock him up all day 2 days in a row

Adrien: But he's still upsetting Lila, you know could happen if she gets too upset.

Marinette: I don't think a butterfly could fly across the Pacific Ocean Adrien, much less in the time frame we'll be here

Ms. Bustier: Okay everyone let's all get on the bus

Marinette: you better go ahead Adrien. You probably want go sit with your FRIENDS

Adrien catching onto what Marinette was hinting at gave her a small glare, but still ran to catch up to Nino, Alya, and Lila

Captain pressed his head into Marinette's side and tikki did the same.

Marinette: Thanks guys I'm okay

Marinette put one hand on Captain's head and the other on top of her purse

Damian checked over him and Titus one more time to make sure they both looked good

Bruce: I don't suppose your suddened interest in how you and Titus look have anything to do with that little French girl you met the other day

Damian: Don't be ridiculous father-

Dick: It totally does! You should have seen how those two looked at eachother. It was like love at first sight

Damian: GRAYSON!

Jason: it was so ridiculously sweet and she evan has her own dog, a german sheperd

Damian: TODD!

Tim: I did a bit more research, you know to make sure she wasn't a villian in disguise, and according to the adoption records his name is Captain and he use to be a police dog

Damian: DRAKE!! Would you all just stay out of my love life!

Bruce: They just care about you Damian. Weither you like it or not. You should have seen them when Dick first brought home Cori.

Once they got to Wayne Enterprise the family went their separate ways to complete their duties

Damian and Titus hung around Dick waiting for Marinette, Captain, and her class to arrive.

Cheryl: So I heard that you met somebody special yesterday Damian

Damian: wait how do you know about Marinette? Dick???

Dick: Well I had to tell her in case Marinette called yesterday I wanted to be the one she talked to.

Damian: Do you have to share my love life with everybody you know

Cheryl: It's just because we love you Damian. Now tell me everything.

Damian was about to respond with a sarcastic comeback when the class arrived

Dick: Hello welcome to Wayne Enterprise, I'm Dick Grayson I'll be your tour guide today. And this is my little brother Damian and his dog Titus. I hope y'all don't mind but he'll be joining us on your tour today

Ms. Bustier: Not at all it's always nice to make new friends when you're some where new

Damian made his way towards the group his eyes set on Marinette who just walk in after making sure Captain did his business before the long tour, but was intercepted by Lila.

Lila: Hello I am Lila it is nice to meet you

Lila began to speak with a heavy Italian accent.

She was the worst at speaking English in the class

The rest of the class finished introducing themselves when Marinette made it to the group

Damian: It's nice to meet you all, Marinette mentioned she was here with her class.

Alya: Marinette?

Marinette: Damian?

Damian flashing a charming smile: Hey Angel, I hope you don't mind but I found out my brother giving the tour for your class and asked if I could come along.

Damian walked over to Marinette and Captain with Titus following him

Damian: Hello Captain, how are you doing buddy?

Damian slowly lowered his hand giving Captain plenty of time to move away incase Captain didn't want to get a pat from him

Captain decided he would allow it partly because he had to admit he kinda like this kid, and partly because he knew it would freak out some of her class

Kim: Ah he touched Captain

Kim sadly learned the hard way that it took a while for Captain to warm up to someone new

Marinette: And this handsome boy must be Titus

Marinette held her hand out to let Titus sniff her.

Titus being the loving goofball he is gave her hand a big lick before snuggling his head into her hand

Marinette giggling: Well he's a friendly boy huh

Alya: You two know each other?

Marinette: Yeah we met yesterday at the park and just hit it off

Lila with a strained voice: Well isn't that great that you were able to make a new friend.

Damian and Marinette noticed the strain in Lila's voice but it didn't seem like anybody else had or if they did they ignored it

Dick: Alright everybody with introductions out of the way let's get started

Damian and Marinette fell to the back of the group so the can walk side by side with their dogs

While this was going on Titus and Captain were sniffing eachother out as they walked together

Captain: Hello I'm Captain

Titus: I'm Titus. I have just met you, and I love you

Titus gave Captain a big lick on the side of his head

Captain: That's great... So he's your boy

Titus: Yep he's been my boy for years now. He acted like he didn't like me at first but I knew he loved me

Captain: Is he your first human?

Titus: Yes, his father gave me to him when I was 7 months old. What about you, is she your first human?

Captain: No, my girl didn't find me until I was 3 years old. Before her i was a police dog. My partner was my first human. He was a great man and a great police officer. He always made sure I was well fed and when it was a slow night he would take me to the park and play fetch with me...

Captain trailed off his mind going back to the night he lost his partner

Titus: What happened to your first human?

Captain snapping out of his memories: I don't like to talk about it

Titus: Well what about your girl, how do you like her?

Captain: My girl is the best. She saved me from the pound. Her parents brought her there for one of the adoption events, at the time I didn't even know if I wanted another human. I was there for a couple of months, and didn't really have much hope to find a new family. Most people just go for the puppies. So I was just sitting in a corner away from everybody else when this girl comes walking towards. She seemed so sad at the time, like me. She asked me if I wanted to be alone together with her, and i looked into her eyes and something just clicked you know? Like she was also suppose to be my person. After that life turned around for me. My girl just has so much love to give.

Titus: I know what you mean it was the same with me and my boy. Do you have any siblings or a mate?

Captain: No my girl and her family live in a small apartment, so one big dog is their limit. I wouldn't mind having a mate one day though. I do have a couple of friends in Paris and the local dog park, and there's Fang, who's crocodile

Titus: you have a crocodile as a friend cool. I have one older sister Ace, no mate myself yet. I do also have a cat and cow as a friend

Captain: Nice

During the tour Damian noticed that some of Marinette's classmates (Alya, Adrien, and Lila) kept shooting dirty looks back at his Angel

He did his best to not glare back at them, but when Adrien did it for the 10th time on the tour when Marinette wasn't doing anything but softly giggling at stuff Damian whispered in her ear Damian had enough

The next time Adrien looked back at her Damian gave him the scariest look he could muster, which is very scary

Adrien widened his eyes and turned his head around quickly not looking back for the rest of the tour

Dick seeing about half of the interaction assumed that Damian glared out of jealousy and shot him an amused looked when he caught Damian's eyes

After the tour Marinette convinced Ms. Bustier to let her go off with Damian for their free roam

Ms. Bustier let her but made sure she wore the tracking bracelet so incase something happened she would know where Marinette is at

Damian and Marinette decidind to go to a near by dog park to let the dogs roam free

On the way out Damian noticed Adrien quickly walking over to them with a determined look on his face

Not wanting to deal with the annoying blonde Damian quickly guided Marinette outside and into the car

Marinette already figuring out whi Damian really was didn't question it and just let Damian lead her into the car

Damian: I thought you'd be a little more shocked about it

Marinette: I kinda figured it out when Mr. Grayson said you were his little brother

Once they made it to the park the dogs started to run around together and seem to play a game of chase even though Captain seemed a little more reluctant to act a bit crazier like Titus

Marinette: Well it seems like they like eachother

Damian watching Titus give Captain a big lick on the side of his head before running off leaving Captain with what could only be described as disgruntled look on his face.

Damian chuckling: Yeah they sure do

The pair spent another 2 hours at the park going back and forth with sitting in the shade watching their dogs run through the nice dog park and playing fetch with a stick the dogs found

They spent the rest of the afternoon wondering around Downton Gotham Damian showing Marinette all the best sites

As sunset came Damian found himself once again standing in front of the hotel holding Marinette's hands as Captain and Titus watch the interaction

Damian blushing: I've had a great time today Marinette

Marinette: So did I

Damian: I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me tomorrow night, like a date?

Marinette also blushing: I would love to, but can Captain come along

Damian: Of course beside Captain is going to be stuck in your hotel room all day tomorrow it wouldn't be fair to make him stuck in a small room for even longer.

Marinette gave him a beaming smile: Thank you for understanding Damian

Damian: Of course I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7 wear whatever you like.

Marinette hugged Damian goodbye giving him a peck on the cheek as she pulled away

Marinette: I can't wait! Goodnight Damian I'll see you tomorrow

Damian in a dreamg voice: Goodnight Marinette, Captain

Once Marinette and Captain were out of site Damian jumped up and gave a whooped of joy completely forgetting that Alfred could still see him from the car.

Bonus

Alfred on the phone with Bruce: It looks like Damian just asked her put and she said yes

Bruce on the other side of the phone silently fist bumped the air mouthing yes over and over again

Bruce in a monotone voice: That's good

Dick: omg you guys I wish you were there! They spent most of the time quietly whispering to each other and Damian glared at a boy who kept glancing at Marinette it was the cutest thing.

@mikantsume @carrisarune @strudelqueen @Aloha_Posts_Stuff @shmowl @maxdark158

#maribat #daminette #Captain the Retired Police Dog #pet headcanon

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

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Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-One

Sorry it's late, I ended up accidentally drugging myself when I got in from work last. I had a migraine and my mom gave me one her of Amitriptyline and I didn't realize it was going to knock me the fuck out for 12 fucking hours. I woke up earlier today and was so confused, work clothes still on, makeup still on, but my migraine went away so I guess it worked.

I told you guys a cut a part out (I'm saving it for another chapter) part of it was the preview for this chapter with the flashback of when Nikki came home after Viv and Duff were being nasty in his bed...anyway enjoy the chapter!

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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"What?" I ask Fred, taking a few deep breaths and he raises his brows.

"They just got here today, Viv, there's no way in hell that kid's biting the hand that's feeding him, over you, without there being a damn good reason." He states and I sigh, only causing him to nod his head. "That's what I thought. Does Sixx know?"

My eyes widen as I glare at him as if he's crazy.

"Is Nikki acting like he knows?" I sarcastically say and Fred crosses his arms. "No." I add, deciding now is not the time for sarcasm. "No, Nikki doesn't know...I mean, we haven't been seeing each other, really. We've only hooked up one time." I try to reason.

"When?"

"When we went on break in September for a few days." I explain, fumbling with my fingers.

"What, you got a hotel room or something?" He presses and I apparently give away what happened because his eyes are going to the size of saucers and he's raising his eyebrows.

"Fred," I start.

"You fucked another man in Sixx's house?" He asks me in shock that I had the audacity to do such a thing.

"He slept with Vanity in our house, so why not?"

"Yes, because the way to put a fire out is to start a completely different fire!" He raises his voice.

"Shh!" I put my hand over his mouth. "If anyone finds out about this, I'm done with, and so is Guns N' Roses." I hiss at him.

"Highly doubt Duff's waking up after a night of plowing you like a field, thinking about his career, or else he wouldn't be sleeping with you in the first place." Fred says back quietly. "And you, what the fuck are you doing? Are you insane? If you get caught you're done for."

"I know."

"Then why're you letting it happen?"

"I don't know, alright? I just…" I let out a breath and think for a moment.

"Do you like, love him or something?"

"No, of course not." I insist. "Well, I love him, but not like in love with him."

"Do you love Nikki?"

"It doesn't matter if I do or not. We're over with once the tour is done."

"You've both completely annihilated your vows, Vivian, I think it's safe to say you two have been over." He replies and I don't answer, ignoring that realization.

I continued to ignore that realization until Nikki served me divorce papers once he got out of the hospital after he overdosed.

I try to hold back a laugh as Donna politely rejects Steven for the umpteenth time since he met her, and he pouts at me as she walks away.

“Viv, I’m going crazy.” He tells me. “I’m losing the charm, I think.”

“Oh, c’mon, Stevie, you aren’t losing the charm. Donna’s just a hard nut to crack because she and Emi have been put on a ‘don’t sleep with the opening band’ order.” I suggest and he maintains his let down facial expression. “And Emi and Mick are already a thing and catch hell for it, so Donna’s more than likely not wanting to be in the same predicament.”

“This is so unfair.” He crosses his arms.

“Just hook up with groupies.” I shrug.

“I’m trying but they’re all leftovers from what Tommy, Vince and Nikk--” He abruptly stops speaking and I raise my brows.

“What was that?” I ask him.

“Nothing…” He mumbles.

“I already thought Nikki was hooking up with groupies, but thank you for confirming it.”

“Well,” He starts, glancing around to make sure the coast is clear before he’s pointing out, “you’re hooking up with someone else, too, so does it matter?”

He’s got a valid point and I raise my brows, deciding I can’t argue with that.

“No.” I say quietly. “I suppose it doesn’t.”

The guys are getting off stage soon enough, being brought back down from hyperventilation before starting in for tonight’s plans.

“Strip club.” Tommy and Vince say simultaneously.

“Stevie, you comin’ with?” Tommy offers and Steven glances at me as if asking for permission although I honestly don’t care if he hangs out with them or not.

I’m just waiting for Duff to finish up his conversation with Axl and Izzy in their dressing room.

“Mick, you wanna come?” Tommy asks next, resulting in Mick glancing at Emi.

She shakes her head a little bit, barely noticeable. Barely.

Nikki lets out a shiteating laugh and I prepare for what’s about to happen.

“Nikki, lay off--”

“--Tommy, you shouldn’t have asked. You know Mick can’t take his mouth away from Emi’s teat long enough to make his own big boy decisions.” Vince and Tommy laugh at Nikki’s words, while Mick just lets out a heavy sigh and looks down at the ground not wanting to argue.

“Okay, Nikki, seriously, stop.” I state, glaring at him.

“Okay, Vivian, seriously, mind your own fucking business and stop being such a--”

“--Hey, everybody shut it.” Fred pops his head in, hearing an argument about to start. “Guns is riding back to the hotel with us, their ride has a flat.” He adds.

"Whoo!" Steven cheers, high-fiving Tommy.

I slip past Fred to see Axl and Duff waiting for us to get ready to go.

"Where's Slash?" I ask them, furrowing my brows a little.

He's soon enough stumbling from the bathroom, wiping vomit from his mouth, causing me to wrinkle my nose as he mutters, "I'm right here."

Slash was Nikki's trouble-buddy on the tour. They'd stay at the hotel bar until it closed nearly every night before hitting the town. Most of the time Tommy and Steven would tag along or split and go do something else of their own.

Axl never really bonded with the guys as much as Izzy, Duff, Slash, and Stevie did, but everyone got along and considered each other good friends.

Crazy how things would take a turn a couple years later.

We all wait patiently to file into the bus one by one and, of course, Vince and Tommy have girls with them while Nikki seems satisfied by just having a conversation with Slash and Izzy.

I catch myself looking for Tansy and Sparkie...until I remember they left to go score.

All is well until Mick says something to Emi and she giggles like a school girl with a crush, and I can see Nikki's face getting red with anger as she's about to step ahead of Mick onto the bus.

Nikki's plucking Slash's Jack bottle from his hand and pours the whiskey down Emi's jacket.

She gasps, stopping in her tracks, horror on her face as she turns around to face him.

"Nikki, what the hell is wrong with you?!" I demand.

"Oops." Nikki slickly smirks, handing the now empty bottle back to Slash, who--like everyone else--is at a loss for words as Nikki cuts in line and gets on the bus before Emi can recover.

I look at Duff, trying not to get overwhelmed with anger.

He shrugs his jacket off, preparing to offer it to Emi so she doesn't have to wear her wet jacket.

"Here, you can borrow mine." He tells her and she looks at him a second, tears in her eyes as Tommy, Vince, and their groupies walk around her to get inside.

"Thanks." She mumbles, taking her wet jacket off and slipping on Duff's warm, dry one.

"That wasn't cool." Steven mumbles about Nikki when we get on the bus, seeing him and Tommy laughing obnoxiously while Emi and Mick sit as far away as possible.

I'm about to plop down beside Steven when I see Nikki whisper something to Tommy a couple seats ahead of us.

He smiles deviously at whatever Nikki just told him, before he's drinking a gulp of Jack and keeping it in his mouth, only to stand up, walk to the back seats, and spit it on Emi and Mick.

Nikki ruptures into sick laughter with Tommy, and I've had enough.

I glance down at Steven's skull ring and take advantage of him not paying attention, to take it off of him, quickly.

"Viv, what're you--"

I don't give him the time to finish his question before I've got the ring on, and I'm standing up as Tommy comes back by, punching him--his skin splitting where the heavy ring made contact.

I can tell he’s seeing red, I don’t help much when I sarcastically add, “oops.”

Everyone’s struggling to get as apart before he can slap me, Steven letting out a high-pitched scream when Tommy tries to bombard over him to get to me after Stevie pushes me on the other side of him.

Duff and Nikki get Tommy off of me and Steven, a trail of blood running down my friend’s cheek.

“Get her off my fucking bus!” Tommy demands at Fred once he comes back here to settle everyone off while Doc is behind the wheel.

“I wish someone would try to kick me off.” I threaten, knowing they wouldn’t get my ass off the bus without getting mauled first.

“Why the fuck can’t you take a fucking joke without being a fucking psychopath?!” Tommy asks me, yelling.

“You spitting a drink on them isn’t a fucking joke, just like Nikki pouring alcohol all over her isn’t a fucking joke!” I hiss back.

“If it bothered her, she would fucking speak up, Vivian, you’re not Jesus--stop trying to save everybody!” He sneers.

“She can’t speak up for herself because you assholes would try to fucking fire her!”

“And that’s none of your business if we did!”

“Both of you, shut the fuck up and calm do--”

“--I’m not calming down until you get that crazy bitch off this fucking bus.” Tommy interrupts Fred.

“Tommy, we’re not kicking her off the bus, now sit down!” Fred insists.

“You don’t have to kick me out, I’m gone.” I state, grabbing my purse, stepping over Steven’s legs to get in the aisle.

“Vivian, sit down!” Nikki orders me where he’s now standing, and I scoff in his face and shove past him.

“Vivian, please, don’t go anywhere.” Fred pleads, tired, and just wanting everyone to behave.

“I’d rather burn for an eternity than spend another minute on this bus with such sad, disgusting, strung out, drunk, bitter people!” I shout, walking to the door.

I hear several steps behind me, and I think it’s Nikki and Fred stomping after me, but I turn to see Axl, Izzy, Duff, and Steven following after me.

Slash is already passed out, oblivious to what’s been happening.

“K.” I say to Doc as he glances at me and sighs out. “Can you stop the bus and open this door?”

I thought we would get off that bus and walk to the hotel in peace, but turns out I left one fight and got into another one.

“You didn’t have to follow me, Axl, alright? I didn’t ask you to so there was no reason for you to come out here with me!” I tell him after he makes a comment about me getting them in trouble, possibly.

“No, I didn’t have to, but you’re my friend and I didn’t want you to be out here by yourself, even though you wouldn’t have to be if you would have just taken a breath and let it go instead of starting a fight, as usual!”

“We’re in Alabama, Axl! It’s not like I’m gonna get kidnapped--nobody wants to fuck me down here because I’m not related to any of them!”

“Both of you are overreacting! Vivian, you shouldn’t have punched Tommy but I understand why you did! Axl, we’re not gonna get in trouble or kicked off the tour for making sure Nikki’s wife doesn’t get snatched up! Now, can we please go to the hotel so I can get ready and go out and get some chicks of my own because I’m tired of sloppy seconds!” Steven outbursts.

Me and Axl look at each other, knowing we’re arguing over something deeper than just him getting off the bus for me.

"Axl, this is not what it looks like, alright?” Duff camly says as we get covered up.

“Not what it looks like?! Do you think I’m fucking blind, Duff, what the fuck are you thinking?! Oh, wait, sorry, you’re not!” He explodes, his face bright red.

“Axl, can you please just let us explai--”

“--You shut up, Viv! I don’t wanna hear another damn thing from you because you just proved to me you could give a fuck about our band.” He points at me. “And what you--all of us--have busted our fucking balls for is about to be completely undone over some fucking pussy?! Are you fucking me right now?!” He says to Duff.

“It’s not just ‘some pussy’, Axl.” Duff states, getting defensive.

“I swear to fucking God, Duff, if you say ‘I love her’ I’m going to--”

“--I do love her.” Duff interrupts him, and Axl’s throwing one of his rings at the wall, causing it to hit a decorative painting, breaking the glass in the photo frame, causing me to jolt a little.

“Axl, c’mon, now it could be worse.” Izzy steps into the room, sitting down on the bed next to us, rubbing his forehead.

“Could be worse? These guys--her fucking husband, Nikki Sixx, yeah, you fucking remember him--are giving us a fucking shot on this tour. And the first fucking night in…” He trails off, at a loss for words, clenching his jaw and rubbing at his face.

“It wasn’t just tonight.” I start, waiting for Axl to look at me as Duff lets out a ragged breath, waiting for Axl to scream again. “It happened back in September, too.”

“You sound awfully proud of that, Viv, you really do. Cheating on Nikki--”

“--He cheated first, Axl. And then you all hid it from me.” I snap.

“I don’t care if you fucking cheat back, Vivian, but out of all the fucking people there is to get your revenge fuck in with, you choose somebody in our band--who’s friends with the band Nikki’s in. That’s what I don’t fucking like. But hey, if you wanna go down as the whore who wrecked Guns N’ Roses’ shot, then go ahead, but if we get kicked off this tour because of you, Nikki will be the least of your worries.”

“You don’t know what I’ve been through, Axl, you don’t know the living hell I’ve been enduring for three years of my relationship, you don’t know.”

“That’s not my fault when you could’ve left him then. But you stayed and now you’re putting our necks at risk just so you can get your fucking rocks off.”

“He and I are getting divorced anyway so what the hell does it matter?”

“It’s my fucking band!” He insists. “It’s our fucking career, our fucking music, our fucking dream, all on the line over you! And if Nikki finds out, he’s not gonna be going through the technicalities of ‘well, we’re getting divorced anyway so it doesn’t matter’, he’s just gonna think of his wife getting screwed by one of his friends whose band he’s given a chance! That’s why it fucking matters!”

“Hey, this isn’t her fault, man, alright?!” Duff jumps in. “If you wanna blame someone, blame me, it’s my fault anyway! I’m the one who told her how I felt about her when she was vulnerable and shit happened!”

“Fine.” Axl says, exhaling.

“Sorry for fighting.” I mumble.

We finally get back to the hotel in an hour, managing to dodge seeing any of the guys, Fred, or Doc when we get in.

Once Duff and I are back in his room, he’s getting out of my shower while I'm aimlessly flipping through TV channels, trying to find something to watch.

"Hey, Viv?" I hear him call and I put the remote down and step to him, leaning against the bathroom door, nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips.

"What's up?" I ask and he looks at me.

"I forgot my hairbrush." He tells me and I smile a little before stepping to my suitcase to grab mine while he finishes drying off and pulls his boxer shorts on, stepping into the room. "Thanks." He says when I hand it to him and he roughly goes through the strands of his hair, making me cringe.

"Don't be so mean to your hair, Duff, geez." I comment, taking the brush from him, sitting on the bed. "C'mere." I motion him over and he playfully rolls his eyes and sits in front of me while I stand on my knees at his back and gently brush through his bleached tresses. "You need to start using more conditioner." I tell him.

"That's what Stevie tells me when he sees me struggling with it." He informs me with a chuckle.

When I'm done, I'm putting my brush back in my bag and getting into bed, under the covers.

"I'm sorry if this is a let down but I'm too tired to finish what we started earlier." I admit to him as he gets into bed with me and shuts the light off.

"Tell me about it." He replies, his hand gently playing with the red strands of my hair strewn across my pillow. "And it's not a let down. Just laying in the same bed as you is well over good enough." He assures me and I look at him, smiling.

I scoot a little closer to him, my arm wrapping around his waist, my lips kissing at his for a brief second as his arm snakes around me.

"Goodnight, Duff." I say quietly.

"G'night, Viv." He tells me, and for the first time in months, I sleep through the night, completely.

I sleep through the entire day, waking up to the feeling of lips kissing up my neck, Duff’s soft hair brushing against my skin and I hum.

“What time is it?” I ask him, stretching, smiling softly as he kisses at my cheek next.

“Five o’clock.” He replies, moving to get off of me, but I wrap my legs around his hips and stop him.

“What time do we have to leave here for the show?”

“It’s an off day, remember?” He reminds me and I raise a brow.

“Oh, it is. I forgot.” I admit.

“Well, you have been asleep the whole day, so.” He brushes some of my hair from my face.

“Wanna get some room service tonight?” I offer.

"Me and the guys were gonna hangout tonight." He explains. "But Steven already said I needed to bring you." He adds. "So if you wanna come, you can."

"Okay." I nod, rubbing my lips together. "Have you seen Nikki today?"

"He and Tommy were by the pool with Tansy and Sparkie earlier."

"Is Tommy's cheek okay?"

"It's bruised, but I don't think it'll scar where Steven's ring got him."

"Ughh, I'm gonna have to apologize to him for that." I mumble, looking at the ceiling. "I just wish him and Nikki would just leave Emi and Mick alone. I mean, you can't help who you like, you know?"

"Talk to Nikki and Tommy about it." Duff suggests.

"They'll laugh in my face if I say, 'you can't help who you like'." I state.

"...Yeah, maybe don't say anything." He agrees after thinking on it for a moment.

"Yeah." I giggle, kissing his cheek. "Alright, you're free." I release my legs from his waist so he can get up. "I gotta shower and get ready and I'll meet you guys. Who's room do I need to go to?"

"Probably Stevie's." He tells me, getting up.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes." I reply, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

He stops me before I can close the bathroom door, about to kiss me.

"Babe, my breath." I lean back to avoid embarrassment.

"I don't care." He states, pressing his lips to mine chastely. "See you in a few." He says before walking out.

Once I get a shower and get clothes on, skipping out on doing my hair and makeup because these guys saw me look like hell for weeks when Nikki and I took those couple months apart, before I head down to Steven's room.

When I go to knock on the door, it's cracked open already, and I peek inside to see he and the guys are nowhere around.

"Oh-kay." I mumble, stepping inside to see if there's any sign they'll be back, like room keys, or shoes, or jackets.

Nothing.

I turn on my heel and head to the door when something appealing catches my eye.

A ziplock of brownies.

My stomach growls, and I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday morning.

"Just one won't hurt anything." I say to myself.

Fifteen minutes and five brownies later, I'm not even hungry for actual dinner.

I put the bag back where I got it and head downstairs to see Steven, Axl, Izzy, Duff, Slash, Nikki and Tommy at the bar.

I don't give Tommy or Nikki a second glance before sitting next to Steven and Duff.

"You drinking?" Izzy asks me, amused I'm sitting at the "big boy" table.

"No." I reply.

"You want food?" Duff asks me.

"Nah, I'm full on brownies." I explain and Slash and Steven suddenly stop dead in their tracks, mid-drink, before looking down the bar at each other, and then to me.

"On what?" Slash asks me, cautiously.

"She said, 'brownies'." Axl tells him.

"Oh...from where?" Steven asks me and I furrow my brows.

"Your room, why?"

"Oh, okay...um, hey, I think I forgot my rubbers in my room." Steven gets off the barstool. "Slash, you wanna come with me?"

"Nah, man, I'm--" Steven's pulling him off the stool by the back of his jacket, the two of them walking quickly to the elevator.

Me and Duff exchange glances and follow after them, Duff's hand keeping the elevator doors from closing at the last second.

Steven looks pained when we step in with them, eyeing the two of them.

"What's going on?" Duff asks them, casually, wanting to get to the bottom of it.

"Nothing." Stevie denies, shaking his head a little.

"Steven, be honest." I add and he shrugs.

"Nothing's going on." He says, matter-of-fact.

"Stevie--"

I'm cut off when the doors open on our floor and Steven takes off to his room, getting the door unlocked, heading to the bag of brownies with Slash on his heels.

"Steven, what's wrong?" I ask when me and Duff catch up.

"Oh, no." He lets out, slightly panicked. "Oh, no, no. Not good. Oh, God. Oh, I'm gonna be sick." He runs his fingers through this blonde hair.

"Steven, what is it?" Duff asks him next.

"She ate, like, five!" Steven explains.

"I can get you some more brownies, Steven, it's okay." I chuckle.

Duff looks at the brownies, then and Slash and Steven, then back at the brownies, then at me, then back at the brownies…

"Were these…? Duff asks them, raising his brows.

"Uh huh." Steven winces out and Duff's eyes widen.

"A-And she ate five?"

"Yeah."

"How much was in them?"

"Well...there was like ten in each brownie and she had five so--"

"--You gave her fifty milligrams of weed brownies?!"

"Of what?!" I ask.

"I didn't give them to her, she ate them herself!" Steven points out.

"Oh, no." I say aloud.

"Oh, no" was right.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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