#well done mr jalapeno

[sevensees7]

i need to yap about scylla and why it's the best song in all of epic the musical for a moment. i'm not knowledgable with music theory nor am i a lyricist, i know absolutely nothing about music other than 'it sounds good,' so sorry if i use the wrong music terms here!

not lyric related like the rest of this post, but can we just appreciate how the song tries to lull you into a sense of security with the light instrumental and vocals at the beginning, yet the synth adds a strange sense that something's not quite right? no? just me?

what's so awesome is that every. single. lyric. in this song is negative. not a single thing is positive.

SO STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING:

"the lair of scylla" we tend to associate lair with villain, aka a dangerous thing/place, so just from that word you know something is wrong.

"this is our only way home" implies that this path they must go through is dangerous, something bad is gonna happen

"you're quiet today" "not much to say" trying to be kind and bring up the mood -> immediately shot down. OR being passive aggressive -> mood is down from the start. depends on how you interpret it honestly.

"you hide a reason for shame" you're ashamed by your secret and the way eurylocus immediately says "i have a secret i can no longer keep" (which is also implied to be negative based on the increasingly desperate tone) proves that.

"you know that we are the same" you + implied monster = same, probably not great.

even if you hadn't listened to any other song, due to the 'drop' and "i am so sorry," you know that eurylocus opening the wind bag was a massive mistake in some way.

"leaving them feeling betrayed, breaking the bonds that you've made, there is no price we won't pay, we both know what it takes to survive" = you betrayed and deeply hurt those around you for your own survival, selfish motivations.

"forgive me" no response, again no positivity allowed, despite how much eury tries!

THEN, THEN THE FUCKING FULL SPEED AHEAD PART

in full speed ahead, it's hopeful and happy! "ithacas waiting, my kingdom is waiting, penelopes waiting for me so full speed ahead!" = i wanna see my people, and most importantly my loved ones, as soon as i can so row fast! everyone is desperate to get to ithaca and you can hear it in their voices, ody almost sounds like he's tearing up at the idea. the last big full speed ahead, it's all coordinated, all the crew members are harmonizing, they wanna get the island over and done with so they can get home and see their own loved ones too, just like ody!

but in scylla, at first they try to harmonize again like before, but they mess up, they've gone through so much that they're hearts just arent in it as much as they used to be. they're tired, they want to get home, it's just that now that wish seems so far away. they stumble and say "full speed ahead" over each other to show how uncoordinated they are, HOW DISTRUSTFUL THEY ARE OF NOT ONLY ODY BUT QUITE POSSIBLY THE OTHER CREW MEMBERS! cause who knows what they were thinking when eurylocus confessed he opened the bag! did they know he opened it and were upset the truth finally came to light by the man himself? were they unaware and thus surprised at the confession, adding even more chaos to their attempted harmony? both??

"deep down, we only care for ourselves" speaking to both ody and eury, we're all selfish inside. we care only for our survival at the end of the day. ody will do whatever it takes to get himself home, foreshadowing later events, while eurylocus was deeply selfish in wanting to know what was in the bag (and possibly hinting toward mutiny?)

"eurylocus, light up six torches" despite being said in a somewhat ominous tone, you can't really dechipher the intentions behind this order. it's mysterious with said with no emotion, like ody is already disassociating and running on autopilot. he's making himself as emotionless as possible as to not feel guilty of his actions. he needs to do this, he can't regret it for even a second, he can't second guess himself and wonder if this is the right option, he just needs to do it.

"deep down, we're lonely demons from hell" i don't think i really need to explain this. we're selfish, we're cruel, and we're lonely, especially the crew on the ship - they've been away from their families for a decade, trust in their captain is getting weaker, and they don't realize scylla is warning the crew of both her and odysseus' intentions. they haven't accepted themselves to be monsters, they're oblivious to her words, hence why they only sing "deep down." she is telling everyone that he's selfish and will betray them if it benefits him.

scylla and ody have accepted they're monsters, they're one in the same. he's gonna sacrifice six of his crew so he can get home, and she's gonna accept those sacrifices, both doing so for their own personal, selfish desire to survive.

"captain, something approaches" very...neutral, but based on everything so far, you know it can't be good. interesting note: something approaches, not someone approaches. you're never told what scylla looks like, all you know is that she doesn't appear human enough to warrant a someone. i adore the immediate contrast between her polite "hello" and the imposing instrumentals that follow, like something terrible, whatever just greeted us, is revealing itself. her voice isn't as human as it was previously, but she's still somewhat kind. perhaps she has some humanity still in her, but scylla, like odysseus, has let her monsterous side practically consume her. once more, they're the same - they don't want to do this, but will anyway. OR she's mocking them, saying "hello" as a way to show she's intelligent, a cunning monster just like ody is.

the fact that we're never given a hint as to what this monster looks like other than she's an intelligent and can growl is perfect horror, there's nothing more terrifying to a human than the unknown. "row for your lives!" two directions could be taken with this line: either ody is genuinely scared or simply pretending. either way, i think that in this moment, odysseus is trying to get the ship out of there so no more lives are taken then necessary. if it's the first option, he didn't know more about scylla other than a cost needed to be made so actually seeing her made him forget his goal and focus on the survival of him and his crew for a moment. if not, then this line may have also been him being selfish, you row for your lives so i can get home. fully up to interpretation! one more thing with this, i find it interesting how odysseus doesn't say full speed ahead? now this could absolutely be a stretch, but i think there's a reason he doesn't; he is so disconnected from his crew, so set on a selfish goal that him never saying "full speed ahead" (like that section tries to set up) is a betrayal in and of itself. his goals aren't aligned with the crews anymore - "i want to get home" vs "we want to get home." NOW WE GET TO SCYLLAS PART - credits to a comment i read in the song's comment section (written by thomasdeclerc18310) cause i would have never realized this if not for that. screenshot of that comment is below the cut! in her first verse, she's talking to the crew:

"drown in your sorrow and fears" they feel sorrow as their own captain willingly, unbeknownst to them, sacrifices them. they feel fear when being attacked by a nightmarish monster. "choke on your blood and your tears" exactly what it sounds like, they're crying from the betrayal as she kills them.

"bleed 'till you run out of years" they die, maybe even bleeding out on the ship or in her stomach as we aren't told what's happening. we can hear the screams of the crew, we know she's attacking, but the how is a complete mystery. "we must do what it takes to survive" scylla is selfish, she must do what it takes to survive. she's speaking for all monsters here, as well as her other heads (though if you know nothing about her, you wouldn't know this).

in the second verse? now she's talking to odysseus:

"give up your honor and faith" ody is officially letting go of his morals both as a king and a captain when he sacrifices them, he loses his personal honor and faith in himself, as does the crew. "live up your live as a wraith" ody will live the rest of his life crushed by guilt and regret. he will be a ghost of his former self when he returns to ithaca.

"die in the blood where you bathe" odysseus is portrayed to be bathing in the blood of all the dead men he's gotten killed. as well, she could be speaking to the dying crew and eurylocus, as the latter's actions got 557 men killed by poseidon. "we must do what it takes to survive" both odysseus and scylla.

then as the last man is murdered, the intrumentals relax. we think we're finally safe until we hear scylla one last time: "we are the same you and i." once more, she's repeating that she and odysseus are the same. and he agrees, he synchronizes with her, admitting he is a monster... but not completely, all he says is "i." despite his insistence that he is like her, he still can't quite say it. they're both monsters, but maybe ody hasn't accepted it as much as we're led to believe.

i am convinced that scylla is the PEAK of epic the musical, and nothing will ever come close. from the extremely thought out lyrics to the absolutely incredible instrumental, this song deserves it's own tier ngl. yes, other songs sound good and have clever lyrics and such, but scylla is just everything great about the musical shoved into one song. every lyric has a meaning, a double meaning in some cases. the intrumentals tell a story of their own, trying to lead you into a false sense of security. the vocal performances are some of the best in the musical. i adore this song, and hopefully this makes you appreciate it too :D

anyway, thanks for reading all my autistic yapping if you made it this far.

here's that original comment:

[grassyhorizon45]

i haven't seen anyone talking about this– there's this sad piano part at the end of Thunder Bringer that's just so mmphh and I feel like it's paying respects to the fallen crew and the hole in ody's heart from the choices he's had to make

but srsly though, i could listen to that piano for ages if i needed to cry...

well done mr. jalapeno :)

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Twelve.

Since I'm going to be working all weekend (BOOOO!) I'm updating now, besties! Enjoy! :)

Previous Chapters - One  Two, Part One Part Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten Eleven

Words - 5,877

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Edie's POV 

"Come here, big fella. You've got guacamole in your beard!" I tell Ahmed, leaning across the table and wiping the spot of green with a napkin, while we're sitting in the gorgeous late afternoon sunshine on Tuesday getting drunk. Technically, we should be at work today, but we've got a slight problem with a family of racoons who moved into one of the air conditioning vents, and half of the CD chambers have to be taken apart to get the little furry fellas out again. Aileen and I had to be forcibly removed from the building yesterday, being all womanly like and gushy as Max put it, because we wanted to see the racoon babies. They should be done tonight, meaning we can go back in tomorrow. 

"Appreciated, dude. I was saving it for later, but oh well," he jokes as we sit and demolish a huge plate of nachos. 

"So, how was your night after I left on Saturday, since I completely forgot to ask you yesterday," I inquire, taking a sip of my drink.  

"It was really great, yeah. Shame you left early really. I erm, I met a girl. One I plan on seeing again too.” Oh? He's very, very fussy with women, my boy here. Hence my surprise that he's finally found one it appears he'd like to begin dating. 

"Oh really? Do tell, buddy," I ask, swiping the last jalapeno covered nacho and shovelling it into my mouth. I adore spicy food. Anything that makes my tongue tingle and I'll eat it. I remember when Ahmed's mom came to visit him and she cooked a spicy potato tagine with olives when I came for dinner one night. I was in heaven. Damn, Mrs Khamir can cook! 

"Her name is Brooke, she's twenty-three and works on the reception of that new gym that's opened up just outside of Vegas, we're into all the same kinda stuff and she loves all of my scars with the kind of interest I've never really seen in a woman before. Oh, and if the way she kisses is anything to go by, well, I've got a damn good time coming to me, if you'll pardon the pun," he grins, making me laugh. He hasn't always had the best of luck with women, because he is quite formidable in appearance, his very good looks often get overshadowed by the six-inch scar to his face, the eye patch and all of the other many scars also littering his gorgeous body as well. But if you like your men to look like a barbarian warrior, Ahmed is the guy for you. 

"I'm really happy for you!" I begin excitedly, reaching out and rubbing his arm enthusiastically. "It's about time you met someone nice."  

"It is, I'll agree with you there. What did you do after you left us, just go home and go to bed?” It is here that I decide to let on a little piece of information that I've been keeping from my friends. 

"That was my original intention, but it got side tracked by the fact I had a visitor, or rather someone who was gentlemanly enough to walk me to a cab, so I invited him home. I didn't want to say at first because I wasn't sure, and also, I know your reaction to it might be a little, well, erm..." I begin, trying to find the words. 

"Edie, you know when you say either too much too little? Now is a time you're saying too much, just spit it out!" he interrupts me with. 

"The vampire, he's the one who came home with me. He came to see me last week, and on Saturday I just so happened to be walking past a bar he was in and he zoomed right out and told me he didn't want me walking unaccompanied past vampire bars the way I was dressed, because vampires like taking humans for themselves unless they belong to another vamp," I explain, watching his face twist into many expressions of disbelief as I talk. 

"For real? Edie, how can you trust him, really? I mean, I know you told me about what happened in the chamber, when he made you confess to the secret you've kept about your mom's suicide note and he comforted you and all that, but Jesus fucking Christ, girl! You've a damn short memory to how he was behaving before!" he announces with concern. And so, I sit and explain it all for him, the way Angel has proven himself to be trustworthy to me, how he actually truly does seek friendship with me and how I feel perfectly at ease around him now. 

"Okay, after hearing all that I feel a little better about the situation, and you know I'll never dictate to you who you should and shouldn't hang around with. One thing though, Edie. Are you definitely sure he just wants to be friends and he isn't trying to get between your legs, and that this is the whole reason he's being nice to you?" he then asks. 

"No, no he definitely isn't. He's confessed that he'd like to, but he respects my wishes when I say I'm not interested in vampires. Also, there's a specific reason he isn't interested, and it's the same for all human women. I can't tell you that though, because that's his business and he made me promise I wouldn't.” He nods after a few moments of silent contemplation, looking satisfied.  

"Alright, I can live with it. But I'd pack earplugs when you decide to mention this friendship to people like Vic and Aileen, who both look at you like you're their daughter," he warns, making a cord of memory strike within me. That's exactly what Angel said about Aileen, that he thought she viewed me as one of her own. 

"I'll bear that in mind." I feel the urge to discuss something else with my large friend here, I have to say, but think better on it, biting my tongue and filing it away into the realms of girl talk which I'll have tomorrow lunchtime when I meet up with Sasha and Miley. Ahmed isn't good with all that kind of stuff; he's a guy, after all.  

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, we keep on drinking, getting so wasted that we have to get a cab home, and then once I've slid out, I practically have to crawl up the drive. I stumble to the kitchen upon entrance, force myself to drink half a litre of water and then go straight to bed. Because of the water, I wake up feeling much less hungover than usual. Sometimes I just can't be bothered, my bed calls out to my drunken self much too loudly. 

After taking some painkillers, I keep on drinking water and eating fruit to try and cleanse myself of the slightly icky feeling I have, and then go and take a long bath. It's while I'm lying there reading a poetry book recommended to me by Miley, comprising of works by Edgar Allen Poe (and finding a lot of it hard to understand, actually) that my mind wanders to what I want to talk to her and Sasha about later at lunch, or rather who. Yes, you guessed right. The gorgeous Latino vampire who I can’t seem to shake from my mind.  

I was so surprised to see him at my door on Sunday, and to be honest with you, the first thing I thought, well, I shouldn't have thought it. Something automatic went off in my head and I instantly thought to myself that he must really like me, turning up like that just a day after I saw him, and then remembered that of course, I'm not dating him. This isn’t what it is. 

I really don't know what's come over me, why I'm starting to see him in a much different light. Vampires have never been attractive to me because of the simple fact that they're dead, but he is, and in a way that goes beyond me just noticing that attractiveness now. Now I'm beginning to think about what it would be like to act upon it, even though I know I can't. The tricky thing here is the fact that he's told me he's attracted to me in much the same way as well, and he alludes to it a lot, too. He's very flirtatious with me.  

But we can't. 

I don't want to die.  

How dramatic did that just sound? It's true, though. Perfectly true. Or maybe I'm only thinking this because I can't have him? Because of that exact reason of him being off limits indefinitely. When we're told we can't have something, human nature often dictates that we'll only crave it further. All this and more I voice to my girlfriends over lunch a couple of hours later, and they have some insightful thoughts. 

"Well, something told me to expect as much, that he'd get in touch with you again," Sasha begins, while spearing more salad leaves with her fork. "Everything else you followed with though, well I agree with what you're thinking. You can't have him, for whatever the reason is, and that makes you want him even more. He's got that forbidden fruit thing going for him. I wish you could tell us why, but I respect that you're being a good friend to him, because I've never known you to be anything less, and keeping a secret he's trusted you with shows that," she then finishes, taking another mouthful of the spinach and rocket leaves from her plate. Of course, I didn't reveal to either her or Miley the reason why I can't be interested in him, the secret he entrusted to me. 

"I think it'll get lesser the longer you know him, the attraction and sexual urges, you'll both just get used to each other more and it'll sink in that you can't go there. I mean look at you and Ahmed, you obviously find him attractive and you've actually had sex with him, and you two don't have anything like that lingering any longer. It's all just friendship," Miley then offers to the conversation. She then drifts off a little dreamily, looking up at the ceiling. “There’s a spider up there. Do you think she thinks we’re in her house, or she’s a visitor in ours?”  

Sasha smiles lovingly, stroking her arm. “Who can say?”  

“Hmm.” Miley nods, turning back to me. 

"It's a little different with Ahmed, sweetie. I'd known him a few years before we had sex, it was a onetime thing and not anything either of us planned on repeating, and I just don't feel the same pull to him as I do with Angel. It goes beyond just the physical attraction. I just, well... I feel really happy when he's around. I enjoy his company. I just hope those little feelings don't get in the way of us being friends. That is essentially what I'm worried about," I voice, both her and Sasha nodding in understanding. 

"Well, you know it'll never be, don't you? That's what you have to keep telling yourself. Miley was right with what she just said, that it'll probably calm down a little the longer you know him. I wouldn't worry too much, once it’s sunk in that you definitely can't have him no matter how much you want him, you'll just see him like any other friend and you'll be fine," Sasha assures me, while I go back to eating the rest of my by now cold fries, wondering if things will truly work out that way. 

"Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm twenty-eight years old now, and if I can't handle being adult like and being friends with someone who I want to have sex with but can't, then when the hell am I going to start? It's cool, I'll get over it." I say with a dismissive wave of my hand.  

Our conversation moves on to us all deciding upon places to go and shop for outfits for our usual night out this Saturday, heading to our favourite location of Hell's Gate once more. While browsing the stores, I manage to find myself a new skirt to wear with the little black leather corset I won on eBay for a steal recently (twenty-six dollars!) in record time, leaving me to keep my eyes peeled for my friends since their decision making wasn't as swift as mine. It's while my eyes are roaming around the women's section of the department store we're currently in that I see something that catches my eye, but for my own reasons. 

"Oh, oh hello perfect tattoo design for my cover up." I say to myself as I reach up to the peg that I see a t shirt with a very interesting design on the front of, taking it down for a closer look. Even though my original tattoo has colour in it (but very, very washed out in tone) I want the cover up to be black and grey. I hope that this is big enough to be able to do that. The print on the t shirt itself is of a few stems of lilies all wrapped around each other and spraying out in a cluster towards the top, with trails of ivy and little stars surrounding it.  

Taking my cell from my bag, I hang the t shirt on a lower peg, take the picture and then return it to its proper peg before typing out some accompanying text to go with the picture. 'I just saw this; I'd really like it or something close to it as my cover up. Can you work with this, or do I need to buy the t shirt and bring it to the shop?' I type before sending the message to Angel's cell, ready for him to see when he wakes up at sundown. 

When I do receive a reply from him much later that evening, when I'm taking my break at work, I read the message he sent me roughly an hour ago and see that Saturday isn't going to go how we've planned it. 'Hi Edie, sorry it's a no go for Saturday, I'm afraid. If you can make Sunday though, I can do it then? We're having the front counter refitted, and the only time the guy can come and do it this Saturday night, so we've had to move all our appointments to Sunday and open up then instead. No worries if you can't, just let me know ASAP. No problem with the photo you've sent me either, I'll start drawing something up for you tonight. How’s 10pm for you?' the message reads.  

‘Yep, that’s fine. See you then.’ Sending my reply, I can hardly wait. A new tattoo and getting to see Angel. What’s not to like? Okay, so I’m mostly looking forward to seeing him again, above all.  

I know, I know. I’m ridiculous. I need to extinguish this flame I have within myself for the vampire who is off limits. I really do. Easier said than done, though.  

Angel's POV 

"Oh my word, that's absolutely beautiful," Ursula tells me as I sit at my desk in my room, drawing the design Edie sent me a picture of earlier today. 

"It's just a starting sketch to see how she likes it. I'll need to alter it a little to go with the contours of her body, so I’ll have to adjust once I've measured this to fit her back and such like, and then form the proper line drawing. Unless she trusts me to free hand it," I reply while my creator pulls up a chair next to me and takes a closer look. 

"She must be a special client, for you to be prepared to work on a design for her in your spare time," she observes, twirling a golden lock of hair around her finger as she watches me add shading to the sketch. 

"She is. It's for Edie," I confirm, and then swiftly wipe the big smile off my face that speaking her name often prompts. 

"You're becoming quite fond of this new friend of yours, aren't you, my boy? But yet I sense some unsettlement coming from you. Do you wish to discuss your thoughts? Are you struggling with feeling attracted to her, like you thought you would?" Oh yes, nothing much gets past Ursula. 

"Yeah, I do actually," I begin, putting down my pencil and turning to face her. "I'm becoming attracted to her, but more than just sexually, like we spoke of before. Don't get me wrong, the sexual side of it is prevailing most right now, the urges I have for her in that respect burn brightly, but I have noticed little things that I don't want to. Namely, it’s the fact there's something about her I can't quite put my finger on, something that draws me in closer to her. I don't want to notice it, because in my one hundred and thirty-six years on this planet, there has only ever been one other woman I've felt that with, that unfathomable thing about her that interests me."  

"Luisa?" Ursula asks. 

"Precisely," I huff. 

"Oh dear, please don't tell me you're considering acting upon this? You told me Edie is not attracted to us vampires either, so wouldn't this be massively disrespectful to her wishes if you did try to pursue her sexually? Actually, we need to take that out of the equation. You can't do this, Angel. Full stop," she states, telling me what I already know, and what I am beginning to loathe. 

"Of course, I'm not. She doesn't deserve to end up dead, even if she did change her mind about being attracted to me. I just don't want it hanging over me, I want to try and enjoy being her friend, and although I am, I have the way I felt when I first met Luisa hanging over me so much that it clouds that enjoyment and frustrates me. It's something I don't imagine will get better or more manageable either," I lament, watching Ursula frowning with concern. 

"It is something you must steel yourself to, my child. Give it some time as well, these feelings are likely to settle the more you get to know her, or perhaps go the other way and you find these feelings begin to deepen. If that happens though, you'll only be frustrated further. It is perfectly within your capabilities, to be staunch with yourself and continually remind yourself too that she is unquestionably off limits. Anyway, I just thought I'd come up and check on you before going to visit Sissy, enjoy the rest of your evening." Kissing my forehead, she leaves me to it, departing in a blink. Sissy is a vampire friend of ours, and every time Ursula mentions her, I get the biggest dick twitch ever. Sissy is one hell of an incredible fuck.  

Maybe I should have offered to go with her, but then again it would ruin Ursula's evening with her friend. Sissy and I only have to look at each other and we're halfway to sex. Getting on top of someone would take my mind off Edie, though, and just when I think of calling Natasha to make that happen, I have another visitor in the form of a naked EZ. 

"Fucking faucet is jammed, I'm using your shower," he announces as he walks through to my bathroom, leaving the door ajar. We vampires aren't quite as precious over certain things as you humans. Nudity is one of them. Then again, my brother was exactly the same when he was a human, he's very comfortable strolling around naked. "That's a good drawing you're working on, by the way. I thought you said to me you hated doing flower tattoos?" he then adds as I hear the shower being switched on. 

"I never said I hated them; I said I hated the regularity I was sticking the same flash sheet design upon the women coming in for them. I actually like doing the more intricate and feminine looking tattoos, they're more of a challenge," I reply, suddenly having an idea on how to make this design I'm working on a lot more detailed, beginning to sketch out that idea. Instead of regular stems, I'm going to shape them into filigree patterns to make it look prettier. A girl as pretty as Edie deserves a pretty tattoo, and not that mess Helena 'I can't draw to save my damn life' Smith etched upon her while she was still in business. 

"You're spending your own time doing a drawing for a client? Wow," EZ observes from the shower. I never usually let work encroach my private life, so hence the surprise from both him and Ursula. 

"No, for a friend," I tell him. 

"The girl who beat the shit out of you?" he laughs. 

"You know her name," I chide, laughing a little in reply. 

"Edie. Is it for Edie?" I've told him all about her, of course. He told me it was admirable, for me to seek friendship with a human, and even went as far to say he thinks he's noticed a difference in me since I have. 'You seem a little calmer since you've been visiting her, so that tells me she must be doing you some good, since your visits have only been a recent thing. Just don't mess it all up and stick your dick in her' is the advice he gave me. 

"It is, I'm doing it for her this Sunday," I reply. 

"And you're tattooing her when?" EZ then asks in joke, making me laugh more loudly. 

"Shut the fuck up!" I exclaim. 

"Never!" Exiting the shower wrapped in a towel, he takes a seat next to me, rubbing his hair with a smaller towel, looking closer at the design with a nod.  

"Speaking of humans, Eric wants to go to Hell's Gate this Saturday on a human hunt, and he's roped me into it too. Fancy joining us? There'll be a few of us there, I think," I ask him, deciding to see if I can get him interested in it, a rare evening out with me on a Saturday since I'm usually working. He agrees, and with that our conversation moves on swiftly. What is swiftest though is the passing of time between now and Saturday, with me entering Hell's Gate at 1am with a group of other vampires in what feels like a blink of an eye between then and Tuesday, when I asked EZ to join us. 

“Oh, man. Check that girl out at the bar. Wow,” Sal speaks, nudging my arm. I’m just about to speak of her good looks, when she promptly turns around and throws up all over the floor. As a human, that’s bad enough to smell, but imagine that when your senses are a thousand times sharper. 

"And with that, I’m outta here,” I exclaim. God damnit, that’s gross. 

"I think I'll join you, actually.” We both get up and seek out EZ, who said he was going for a walk around. The club is absolutely massive, on three floors with two rooms per floor, one of which we walk through without seeing much of interest until we head over to the room where they play the dance music, and we see a completely different breed of women, those who aren’t throwing back so much alcohol, they puke.  

Right now, we’re viewing the kind who like to dance all night long, in teeny tiny outfits. They're certainly very pleasing on both our sets of eyes as we stand on the top balcony and look down at the dance floor itself, Sal moving at speed over to a tall blonde who is all tiny waist, big hips and huge green eyes after picking up on her admiring look. He's currently kissing her hand, and she's giggling shyly.  

Turning back to the floor below, it's as I'm watching the many writhing bodies down there that I suddenly spy one I recognise, her violet hair all curled in loose ringlets and tumbling down to just past her shoulders, wearing a little grey and black plaid skirt that barely covers her ass, finishing it off with knee high boots and a black leather corset. Edie, you just took the breath I do not even need to breathe away from me with how you look tonight. Stunning doesn't even begin to cut it. What a body. God, she’s fucking stunning. And I’m stuck being just friends with her. Fucking hell!  

"What's caught you eye?" EZ asks at my side, trying to follow my line of vision. 

"See that girl in the plaid and leather? That's Edie," I point, watching his eyebrows rise significantly. 

"Now I see what all the fuss is about. She's certainly very sexy. Must be hard, knowing you can't go there," he replies, amusedly. 

"I'm managing with it, and I will have to continue to do so as well.” I have no other choice, do I? 

"Well, I couldn't do it, keep my hands to myself around her if I were you. I mean just look at her, look at those legs. Imagine feeling those legs tightening around you in the throes of ecstasy. I think I want to know what that feels like," EZ taunts me with, looking at Edie with the look he gives women five seconds before he advances on them. 

I glare immediately. "If you do, I won't speak to you for centuries. Besides, she's not into our kind, as I told you.” He simply returns a look of pure apathy. 

"She would be if I took her home, but the way you're looking at me, well, while the centuries of silence do sound appealing, I won't. You're annoying when you're pissed off." He then heads over to where Sal is sitting with the blonde and a group of her equally attractive female friends, his attentions now turned away from Edie. She still hasn't seen me, but enough other vampires have seen her, since it seems Eric invited just about everyone he damn well knows (and he's very popular) here tonight, and then they invited their friends, too. Hell's Gate is a human club, but the humans here are wilder, they're more approachable with the idea of vampires fucking or feeding on them, so hence why so many are here currently. 

This isn't good though, because if any of those vampires currently watching Edie (and there are a couple doing just that) know she's here alone, then they'll be all over her like a rash, wanting her to be theirs. Of course, they have to leave her alone if she belongs to another vampire, though. When I see a vampire in particular who Edie really doesn't want anything to do with in the slightest staring at her from the other side of the balcony, I know I have to act fast, so move from my side of it and down onto the floor where Edie is dancing within a blink.  

Latoria Jackson, the third eldest in Vegas after Charles and Ursula is the one with her eye on Edie. To say she's a bitch is putting it mildly. She's pure evil, feared as much as she is respected, and the way I've heard she keeps her humans… well I don't want that for Edie. I just have to hope she doesn't turn and punch me for what I'm about to do. I have to convey strongly to Latoria that Edie is mine (even though she isn't) so she won't try to take her against her will, because that is exactly what'll happen. I've seen her do it to humans before. 

"Do not react to this in a hostile way,” I begin, Edie turning to look at me a little confused. 

“And good evening to you too, Angel,” she says, laughing softly.  

“Seriously, Edie. Go along with it and everything I say and do, and trust me, I'm doing this for your own good.” My hands slide around her waist, moving her hair and beginning to kiss the side of her neck. Oh, god fucking damn, this feels too good. The way she smells, how soft her skin is against my lips, the fact I just felt her pulse quicken sharply. I want her, so fucking badly. This is absolute torture. Still, I wait a moment for her leg to come flying up between mine and hit me right in the dick, but incredibly, she trusts what I said just as Latoria arrives in front of us. 

"She's yours?" she asks, arching an elegantly groomed eyebrow as she stares at Edie, her eyes roaming all over her. 

"I am, very much so," she informs her before I can speak, reaching her hand up to stroke my hair, turning her head to kiss my cheek. That feeling, the warm pucker of lips so soft is beyond the realms of any kind of scintillation I've felt before, probably because I want her so much and I can't have her. But then when she stares at Latoria before slowly turning in my arms and planting her lips upon mine, I want her so much I can begin to feel it slipping, my resolve not to fuck her. It isn't a full-on kiss, but it makes Latoria leave again at speed, back up to her place at the balcony to keep an eye out for the next unattended human she likes the look of. 

"I take it she wanted me," Edie whispers in my ear, our arms still around each other. I don't like this. It feels too good to have her in my arms, which is the very place she can't be. 

"She did, but not half as much as I want you.” Yeah, shouldn’t have said that, should I? The words just fell out, though, continuing to state at her unflinchingly, our gaze heavy, full of what I now realise is entirely mutual longing. The energy grows, the air between us becoming heavy, the atmosphere between us denser, building all the time. As I hold her to me, I can feel her heart thundering in her chest, I can hear it too, beating away with such force I don't even hear the music any longer, the booming bass from a dance song I recognise from my human years, Barbers Adagio for Strings, people all around reaching for the lasers beaming overhead, dancing euphorically, without a care in the world to the beat of synths meeting strings.  

They’re not even here to me, it’s just me and the human I know I'm becoming obsessed with, the sound of her heartbeat like thunder in my ears, crashing against her chest so rapidly, it only tells me one thing. She feels the same, no matter what she said to me before; I know she feels it too. They have their euphoria through synthesised music, and I have mine. Her name is Edie. 

If I needed any further confirmation of that, I receive it when after our faces have begun to drift together again, we kiss once more. This time though, it isn't a kiss for appearances, it's a real kiss, an unbreakable, earth shaking, magmatic kiss of one hundred percent need and longing for one another. It’s everything that has been building between us, for probably a lot longer than either of us would wish to admit. It's a kiss so arousing, so blindingly passionate that immediately my fangs pop out (as they always do when I'm excited or annoyed by something) and it takes me all I have to retract them again so I can kiss her without piercing her tongue on my teeth.  

She clings to me, body pressed against mine as one hand curls around the back of my neck and the other rests on my chest, both of mine still locked around her waist, erotic energy coursing through me so strongly that if I could, I'd have sex with her right here on the damn dancefloor. I can feel myself beginning to draw breath through my nose without even thinking it, Edie suddenly jumping up into my arms, her legs locked around me as we continue to kiss each other hungrily. This girl, this fucking beautiful, amazing girl, she makes me feel like all the dead inside me came alive again. My death just bloomed. I’ve never felt that before. 

This moment we share does nothing but grow in intensity, especially for me, since I can smell very clearly how aroused she’s getting, and it’s like a fucking beacon, my arms tightening around her, tongue circling with hers, my hand moving to grip her thigh, her nails trailing my scalp making me shiver pleasantly, before suddenly, she pulls away from it, clambering down to her feet once more. 

"I thought you said you weren't attracted to my kind?" I ask, realising that this thing being mutual will make it a thousand times worse. That was one hell of an incredible kiss, so incredible I really couldn't think of anything else to come out with other than the stupid, dumbfounded words I just spoke. I also cannot believe I let my resolve completely melt like that, but it felt so good doing it, indulging in a little of what I want so very badly. 

"I'm not. It's you, it’s... it’s just you. Please, excuse me I need to go and be embarrassed by myself for a while, I'm sorry, but I... I just...I can't be around you right now," she cries, moving away from me while I try to hold onto her. 

"Edie you've nothing to feel embarrassed about, it’s okay!" I try and reassure her, hating the fact she's now starting to panic and get upset. 

"Yes, I do! I can't have you and I just went and kissed you! I'm out of my damned mind, acting like this around someone I know can only ever be a friend to me!" she exclaims, this time managing to wriggle out of my hold upon her wrist and fleeing.  

I let her go, but follow her from a distance to see where she's gone to, seeing her heading straight to a table where her friends are, talking to them briefly, watching the three of them then getting up to leave. After – and again from a distance - I've left the club and watched them get into a cab, I head back inside and suddenly really don't feel like partying any longer, for the only person interesting to me in this entire club just left it, and took that bloom she made me feel with her.  

I really hope I see her tomorrow when she's meant to come in for her tattoo, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if she didn't turn up. I think this is the point where being just friends is about to become difficult, now I know that she wants me just as much as I do her.  

Fuck.  

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

First Date

Summary: The reader accidentally sends an angry email off to a co-worker but winds up with a date instead...

Pairing: Landscaper!Dean x reader

Square: First Date

Word Count: 1,900ish

Warnings: language, fluff

A/N: Written for @spndeanbingo​​​​ . Enjoy!

_______

You yawned as you trotted out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in hand down to your home office. You plopped down in your chair and got on your computer, checking your email with a tired hum. You saw an email from the facilities manager and sighed.

“Oh come on,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’m work from home now, jackass. Refund my parking pass. That was like five hundred bucks.”

You growled and typed out an angry email in response, getting so fed up when you finished you knocked your coffee all over your computer.

“Shit!” you said, grabbing some tissues and moping it up.

You saw a sent message appear on screen and you shook your head.

“No. No. No, I didn’t send that. Recall, recall,” you said, shoving the tissues aside. It’d already been opened though and the recall failed, your jaw dropping. “No! I just moved into this house! I can’t afford to get fired.”

You grabbed your phone and decided to bite the bullet, trying to dial the guy when you got an email back.

As highlighted in my original message below, your refund will show up next month along with all other refunds to staff now working from home.

You hit reply and started writing an apology, praying he didn’t report you to HR.

I’m so sorry. It was an accident. I wrote it to express my frustrations and had no intentions of ever sending it. I’m deeply embarrassed, Mr. Winchester, and apologize once again.

You bit your bottom lip and waited a minute, getting a response back.

Thank you for your apology, Ms. Y/L/N. Seeing as today is my last day and it was a mistake, I see no reason to pursue this further.

“Ah, thank you, thank you,” you said. “Now let’s deal with this coffee.”

Two Weeks Later

“So what’s the damage?” you asked. The man in the flannel and baseball cap wrote up a tally on his clipboard before looking back at the house and yard again.

“Normally, for total lawn maintenance, that includes your weeding, trimming, spring and fall clean up, etc. for a lawn this large, you’re looking at around eighty a week,” he said. “But we’re trying to break into this neighborhood so let’s call it fifty a week. We get ten yards around here, we’ll knock it down to forty. How’s that sound?”

“Fifty for everything?” you asked. “Including the snow removal?”

“We’ll negotiate a separate contract for that but I’d call that about 350 for that season,” he said. “So. We have a deal?”

“For fifty bucks, you got a deal,” you said, shaking his hand.

“Perfect. I will have a contract written up and sent over to you this evening,” he said. He dug around into his back pocket and pulled out a business card.

“Super Natural Lawn Services,” you said. “Winchester.”

“Hm?” he said, writing something down on his clipboard.

“Name sounds familiar is all,” you said.

“Used to be in charge of managing the grounds at a local place until they decided to have their staff work from home. Ms. Y/L/N,” he said with a smirk. 

“Oh my…” you said, Dean chuckling. “I am so-”

“I like running my own business a lot better,” he said. “Besides, you apologized. We’re all good. We’ll get that contract straightened out and I’ll get a team over Friday morning to start on your landscape design.”

“I really am sorry, Mr. Winchester. I-”

“Y/N. It’s good. I promise. I’ll see you around, okay?”

You nodded and he headed back to his car, giving you a wave as he drove off.

Two Weeks Later

“Hey, Dean?” you called from your front porch. He poked his head up from where he was head first in a notebook, staring at the dirt edge around your house. “You want a drink? It’s really hot out.”

“I’m okay,” he said, sweating pouring off of him.

“You want to come into the air conditioning for a minute?” you asked. He was about to say no when he took off his hat and his hair was soaked with sweat. “Come on.”

“Alright. Just for a minute,” he said. He hopped up onto the porch and stepped into your foyer, letting out a sigh. “Okay, that’s nice.”

“You like lemonade?”

“Sure,” he said. He took off his boots and followed you to your kitchen, taking a seat at the table when you waved him down. You brought over a large glass, Dean gulping it down. “Do you have a minute? Now that your lawn is in good shape, I have a few ideas for landscaping near the house if I could pick your brain.”

“Sure,” you said. He flipped open his notebook and showed you a drawing, your eyes wide. “You drew that? It’s great.”

“Do you like that kind of style? It’s minimal upkeep but it’s not barren out there this way,” he said.

“I love it. How much does that cost?” you asked.

“It’s part of your weekly bill. I have a few other ideas in here you can take a look at and tell me which you like best,” he said. You flipped through the notebook with him, still liking the first one the most. “Alright. We’ll get that going for you then.”

“My neighbor was asking about you the other day. I gave her your name,” you said.

“Fingers crossed we get a bit more business around here then,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll get out of your hair now. Thanks for the drink, Y/N.”

One Month Later

You hummed as you sat on your front porch with your morning coffee, watching Dean across the street and walk around a yard with his team. They’d already done your yard for the week and you knew Dean was up to about six or so houses in the development. With a big stretch you glanced over to your car and saw something on the windshield. You got up and walked over, plucking off a note.

Found a problem with one of your plants. Rabbits were eating it. I’ll replace it later today.

You looked across the street just as he looked over. You gave a wave and he returned it before you headed back inside.

Four hours later you were getting home from the store to find another note stuck up against your front door.

Plant should be all good now. Enjoy your weekend.

“Hey,” you heard behind you and you nearly jumped out of your skin. “Sorry.”

“Hi, Dean,” you said. “S’alright. I got your note.”

“It was a simple fix,” he said. “I actually am looking for my work gloves. I either left them at your place or the Jones’ but I didn’t find them over there.”

“Are they black?” you asked.

“Yeah. You find them?” he asked. 

“Maybe they’re near my new plant,” you said, nodding your head. He looked over and they were on the grass beside it.

“Ah. That’s what I get for taking calls while working,” he said. He grabbed them and started to leave, pausing at the driveway. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“You single?”

“Why?”

“Cause if you’re dating someone, I don’t think my odds of getting a date will go very far,” he said as he spun around. You smiled and leaned against the porch post. “Single?”

“Why would you want to date me? I was very rude to you once.”

“You were pissed about throwing money away for no good reason. Trust me, I got plenty of emails that day. You’re the only one that apologized. Plus you may have once told the grumpy guy in the cafeteria to go do a job that makes him happy.”

“You knew who I was when I emailed you, didn’t you.”

“Yeah. I looked you up at work. You were nice back then. You always offer my crew cold water if you’re home. I just like you,” he said.

“Pick me up at seven,” you said as you spun around. “You decide what we’re doing.”

“Alright,” he said. “I wouldn’t advise a dress and heels.”

“Now I’m intrigued. I’ll see you later then, Dean.”

“Yes you will, sweetheart.”

“Hi,” said Dean when you opened your front door just before seven. You laughed when he held out a packet of flower seeds. “They’ll go great in a planter on the porch.”

“Thanks,” you said. You put the packet inside and locked up, following him to his car. “So what are we doing?”

“I figured we could do something and grab a bite after if that’s okay?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said. “Were you thinking of a movie?”

“Hopefully it’s more fun than a movie,” he said. “Trust me.”

“Okay, that is the most fun I’ve ever had on a first date,” you said, Dean chuckling as you both turned in your helmets. “I did not even know there was go-karting in this town. Like really nice go-karting too.”

“We could come back sometime,” he said. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

“Same,” you said. 

“Well follow me then,” he said, walking past his car in the parking lot and headed for the street. He took your hand and you walked across over to a diner, Dean walking the two of you inside and to a booth by the corner.

Twelve minutes later you had a double bacon cheeseburger with jalapenos in front of you along with a basket of fries and onion rings. You dug in, Dean smiling to himself as he enjoyed his own burger.

“Too much?” you said.

“Save room for dessert. They have out of this world sundaes,” he said.

“If it’s as good as this burger, I’m sold,” you said. “So what made you want to have a landscaping business?”

“I get to be outside, do some hard work but some mental work too. We’re doing pretty good for our first year,” he said. “I didn’t like my old job very much.”

“It sounds like this one is working out for you.”

“It is. Probably would have taken me longer to ask you out if I hadn’t sort of known you already but I don’t mind,” he said, taking one of your fries.

“You flirt with all your customers or just me?”

“Just you,” he said. “How’s it working out so far?”

“Pretty good. Want to go catch the music fest downtown after our meal? Main act comes on at nine,” you said. “Unless you’re not into rock.”

“Oh, sweetheart. You and me are gonna get along just fine.”

_____

[redrobin-detective]

Just one single glimpse of relief

TW: OC death, death themes

“Hey,” Sydnee looked up at the sound of the voice. It was familiar, safe, and it stopped her tears for a moment. She can’t remember where she was or what she’d been doing. All she knew was that she was scared and upset and didn’t know what to do. It felt like she’d been crying forever when the voice appeared. “Hey there, it’s Phantom. Can I come closer?”

Sydnee gasped as the town hero, Phantom, approached her slowly. Syd was a bit of a nerd and she couldn’t get enough of those superhero movies. She always tuned in to Phantom’s fights on TV; he was as close as she’d get to a real life Superman or Captain Marvel. She’d never seen him up close before though. He was younger than he appeared on TV, not more than his early teens. Sydnee, almost 24, was hit by a wave of mortification over how they’d described the hunky, we-thought-he-was-older kid on Margarita Night. This day just got better and better, not that she remembered it.

“How are you doing?” Phantom asked quietly, floating near her but not getting too close. He was watching her warily but not unkindly. She saw how some folks treated him, he was probably worried she’d throw a shoe at him. “What’s your name?”

“Sydnee, with an extra e not a y. Uh Tanner, Sydnee Tanner,” she mumbled. Ugh why were words so hard. Her head felt fuzzy and very far away, she thinks she was going to start panicking again. What was she even so upset about? “I don’t know what’s going on. Where are we and what happened. I don’t- I don’t remember anything.”

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, floating a little closer. The soft glow he emitted brightened up the dark place they were in. Was she in a collapsed tunnel? What had she been doing here? She’d never been claustrophobic but the debris and rubble of the place seemed to close in on her. “Hey, hey, just look at me.” She turned and met his kind eyes, soft and easy. “We’ll walk through it together. What is the last thing you remember?”

“I was late to work,” Syd said, the memory popping up before her. “I um work at the Donut Delights bakery in that strip mall next to the middle school. My cats had knocked over some of my houseplants in the night so I had to clean them up and was running behind. I open the store on Wednesdays - oh it’s Wednesday! - so I knew I’d be in trouble. But I made it, just barely. I was starting up the ovens when.” Syd furrowed her brow and took in the hero before her. The one who was almost never seen outside a fight. “There was a ghost attack, wasn’t there?”

“Welcome to Amity Park,” Phantom said grimly. “I’ve been here a couple times; the jalapeno bacon topped donuts are my favorite. My mom and sister buy them sometimes if they want to bribe me into doing something.”

“You weirdo, only crazy people eat that weird flavor,” Sydnee chuckled. “You have a family?”

“Of course, we all have a family out there somewhere. What about you?” He asked gently. There was something about the soft way he was talking to her, the way his eyes flickered around the dark like he was looking for something. He had news he didn’t want to tell her and she wasn’t ready to hear it. Not yet. Just a few more minutes of denial before she faced the revelation she couldn’t bear to touch yet.

“Yeah, mom and dad and two younger sibs. Folks divorced forever ago, I barely remember them actually being together. Mom is is living it up in Dubai working as a pastry chef in one of their fancy hotels. Dad’s an auto-mechanic down on Maple street, Duke’s Car Services. Pretty sure you got tossed through the window a year ago.”

“I’ve been tossed through many windows but I know the place you’re talking about. So a big family, any friends? Boyfriends? Girlfriends?”

“I have a boyfriend,” she continued on hastily, taking the distraction for what it was. “I like him, a lot and we’ve been dating since high school. Everyone says I should marry him and we’ve talked about it, casually, but I’ve never dated anyone else and wonder if I should see other people first. You know, test the waters before I settle down with my high school sweetheart like my folks did and look how they turned out.”

“Mhmm,” Phantom hummed nodding, encouraging her to continue.

“DeShawn is great though, he’s very supportive and sweet in his own kind of absentminded way. He’s got epilepsy real bad though, I have to drive him everywhere since he’s always at risk of a seizure. Annoying sometimes but its nice, you can learn a lot about a person from a conversation while you’re alone together.”

“Very true, I’m learning a lot now,” Phantom smiled. “What about your siblings?”

“I have a brother and a sister, Kennedy is finishing his sophomore year of college and Janelle will be a senior in high school. She was a surprise baby, one last attempt of my parents to reconcile before the big D. It didn’t help but I got a great sister out of it, she’s a real firecracker.”

“Janelle,” Phantom’s eyes lit up. “She’s the one always dying her hair. I see her in the hallways of Casper, she’s hard to miss. I think she draws too, she won an art award I think.”

“Yeah!” Sydnee said enthusiastically, she reached out and grabbed ahold of Phantom’s arm. It was cold but solid. It reminded her that she really couldn’t feel anything, nothing but him. “Yeah, I swear her hair is a new color every time I see her. It’s a dark purple now, it looks pretty good on her. She was a peachy orange for picture day last year. Mom called her up screaming when she saw the photos.”

“I thought it looked cool,” Phantom grinned, “not that I was there for picture day. Ghost attack, you know. My mom was upset with me too.” They laughed lightly for a minute before it gently petered off leaving them alone in the dark. Sydnee didn’t have any feeling in her toes, in any part of her. She felt light and disconnected and all over out of sorts. She was pretty sure she knew what had happened but she couldn’t face it yet. But talking to Phantom, it seemed a little easier.

“I remember the attack now,” Sydnee stated quietly. “It was a big ghost bear only it was the size of a pickup truck. It rammed into the store there was chaos and screaming. It was so loud, the screaming of the customers, the bear, building coming down on top of us...” her lips wobbled. “We’re still in the store, aren’t we? I haven’t wanted to turn around because... because I know my body is buried underneath the concrete back there.”

“Yeah,” Phantom breathed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get here in time. Most everyone in the area got out but you and a few others in the store got trapped under the rubble. Mrs. McDaniels who lived on Eustis street and was the first woman in her family to go to college plus Eddie Drake who came down from Chicago to check out the ghost stuff with their boyfriend and was a tattoo artist.”

“Did you talk to them too?” She questioned in surprise.

“Briefly, Mrs. McDaniels didn’t stay long, just long enough to tell me, and I quote, “stop wasting time on her dead ass and get to the others.” She already passed on. Eddie, they didn’t take it well. We talked for a while and I think they need a little more time to accept it, see their loved ones first. I warned them that the longer they delay death, the harder it is and the more you lose yourself. You’re the last, all the way in the back of the store. When you’re ready, I’m going to bring your body out.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before breaking out into hysterical laughter. “God I bet I’m a wreck, I think I put my shirt on inside out I was in such a rush this morning,” she sniffled. “What do I do now, as a ghost? I don’t have to, like, attack people, do I?”

“No,” Phantom sighed. “Most ghosts are just normal people, no one else but other ghosts will see you and you’re not going to be strong enough to interact with the real world for a long, long time. You can stick around a bit if you want, watch over your family but it’s like I told Eddie, you forget things pretty quick. Or you can move on, that part I can’t help you with but I’ve helped a lot of others go that route and I’m told it’s easy.”

“Easy, then why haven’t you?” She questioned angrily, the full weight of the situation crashing over her. She shoved him and he floated back passively. “I’m a freaking ghost and you’re here talking to me like you’re my therapist or something. Who’s gonna take DeShawn to his appointments? Or praise my sister’s creative messes? Or badger Ken into picking major? My life is over and you think you can float there and lecture me about it being easy to move on!”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Phantom soothed, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry Sydnee, I wish I could turn back the clock an hour, two hours, and prevent this from happening but I can’t. I’ve tried to mess with time and it doesn’t end well for anyone. I just want, I just want what’s best for you now. You can stay or you can go but I want you to make the decision that you feel most comfortable with. That’s all I can do for you.”

“I think I’d be sad,” she said, crying again, “being able to see everyone but not talk to them, to watch them cry over me. I don’t want to forget them either.” Phantom watched her, easily and earnestly. “What made you choose to stay? Why didn’t you go?”

“I’m a little complicated but I can tell you, when I’ve done all I need to here, I’m not hanging around a second longer than I have to. Being a ghost has it’s perks but it’s also, it’s being stuck in a place you longer fit, watching the world go on without you.”

“Okay,” Syd hiccupped. “Okay, yeah okay.”

“Okay,” Phantom nodded. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, please don’t,” she grabbed his hands again. “Please I don’t, I know I died alone but I don’t want to do... this alone. Please stay, ugh, calling you Phantom is weird sorry.”

“I don’t know if it’s any less weird but you can call me Danny,” Phantom, Danny, laughed. It was an ordinary name for a superhero but it fit. There was a special thrill in knowing the ghost boy’s name but it’s not like she was going to be around to tell anyone. It was scary, to think of not existing but also sort of comforting, like a long nap with nothing pressing to get up for.

“Can you tell them that I love them, in my place? I know it’s a lot and I’m sure you’re super busy saving the town and everything-”

"It’s not a problem. I’m sure they know but I’ll be happy to pass on the message,” he smiled and it made him look so young. For a second she was struck by how sad it was that she was relying on a kid a decade younger than her for support. But he was here and he was kind and he was what she needed right now. Maybe one day, he’d have his own person talking him through this last step. 

“Okay, Danny, thanks really. For talking, for staying. I’m scared but I, I think I’m ready.” She closed her eyes and squeezed his hands tightly. “Do you, will it hurt?”

“No,” he said, his voice warm despite his inherent chill. “No, Sydnee. No, the hurting is all over now. All you have left ahead of you is peace. Thank you for all that did, you’ll be missed.”

“I’ll see you on the other side. Goodbye.” The world faded to a pinprick, consumed by light. The last thing she saw before she went into it was a stranger’s smile. 

XxX

“Here’s the last,” Phantom said solemnly, delicately setting a broken body he’d carried out of the dilapidated building and on the sidewalk next to the others. “This is Sydnee Tanner, she was the only employee in the store at the time. She has cats at home who will need taking care of. Her dad works at Duke’s Car Services along with siblings and a boyfriend.”

“Don’t know how you know all that but thanks for getting these folks out,” Sheriff Newton sighed. “Damn shame. Keep up the good work kid, we’ll save the next ones for sure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some rather unhappy news to break to several people.”

“Do you mind if I tag along? I have a few messages I need to pass on.”

[bteezxyewriter12]

Mr. Park- Mall

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word Count- 3.4k

Includes- Dilf Seonghwa, Age Gap Relationship- Everyone is consenting adults, Seonghwa being a cute boyfriend, Seonghwa doesn't know when he's being flirted with

Series Masterlist

"Princess, I miss you!", I whine in the phone

She giggles, "You are too cute. I miss you too"

"Wanna come over? Yoonah's not here"

"Oh baby I want to but I can't. At least not until later."

"Why?". I sound like a whiny teenager but I don't care. I want to see my girlfriend

"I promised my mom I'd go to the mall and get a dress for graduation"

"Oh yeah?", I ask disappointed

"Yeah. I really don't want to go to graduation and walk and sit for stupid speeches that I'm gonna zone out for but my mom insists I go. It'll make her happy so I just gave in"

Wow. Yoonah is so excited for graduation and to walk and whatever. Joanne and Yoonah really are two completely different people. And I doubt Yoonah would do something because I asked. She's still in her rebellious phase

"That's nice of you. To do that for your mom"

"Yeah, she's a pain in my ass but I love her". I laugh. I can relate. My mom was a pain in the ass when I was younger. And Yoonah can be a pain in the ass too

"I can come later after the mall if you want?". I hesitate. I want to see her now but I can't make her skip the mall. Should I go with her? I can take her to a mall farther away so no one would recognize us and still be out in public with her

"Jalapeno?", she asks

I can't help but crack up again, "You're really going to call me that?"

"Yes. I told you I would"

"I thought you were kidding"

"Nope"

"And spicy pants?", I tease

"That's for sexy time". Oh my god she is so fucking cute

"Sexy time?"

"Don't like it? How about hanky panky time"

"Are you trying to kill me with cuteness?"

"Yes". Ha well it's working, she has no idea how well

"I gotta get going baby. I'll call you when I'm done?"

"Ahh back to the old nickname?", I joke

"I will keep calling you jalapeno too. In public. Don't test me Park, Seonghwa!"

"Never princess. Are you going to the mall alone?" Maybe she's going with her mom. That'll kill my plan

"No, she's at work"

"On a Sunday?"

"Duh. She owns a bakery baby. She has to be there everyday or at least part of the day"

Right. I forgot. "Ok jagi, then I'll go with you"

Silence. Is she still there? "Baby?"

"You want to go out in public in the day time with me where people can see?"

"Jeez aegi you make it sound like I'm hiding you because you're a troll"

"A cute troll"

"That doesn't work with what I'm going with. If I'm hiding you, you're an ugly troll"

"Seonghwa!"

"It was just an example baby. I'm not saying you're a troll"

"Fine. But you really want to go?"

I do. I don't know why I'm so adamant about this. Maybe it's because I'm tired of hiding her and sneaking around. I want to have a normal relationship but I don't know how to do that yet. I can't risk Yoonah getting angry and leaving. It's hard because I love both of them, in different ways

"Yes Jo, I really want to go. We can go to a mall that's further away and we can be like a normal couple. You can even do one of those cheesy try on things that they do in movies. Then we can come back here and have sexy time"

She laughs. I love that sound. "Ok baby. I'll meet you where you drop me off ok?"

"Sure baby"

"Yay!", she cheers

So adorable. "I'll be there in five minutes jagi"

"Ok. Text me and I'll come out"

"Alright baby". We hang up and I make my way through my house to the car

----------------------------------------------------"Do you always have to look so hot?", she whines as I pull into a parking lot

I laugh, "What now?"

She glares at me, "You know it drives me crazy when you wear that leather jacket, a t-shirt and black pants. You know it's my favorite outfit on you and makes me want to fuck you right here"

I smirk. Then I feel a light smack on my arm

"You did it on purpose!", she realizes, "That fucking smirk. You did it to drive me crazy"

I nod. Yeah I did. I know what she likes on me. To be fair she likes almost everything I wear but I know outfits like this drive her insane. . And makes her so horny

"Not fair", she pouts

I snort, "Right jagi because you don't drive me insane with you're clothes"

"I-"

"C'mon baby. Look at what you're wearing. That white crop shirt and those low rise ripped jeans? Showing your belly ring? You know I'd pull over and fuck you if it wasn't daylight". She smirks too

"Yeah you wore that on purpose", I confirm

"Maybe. Maybe not"

I roll my eyes, pulling into a spot. We get out and I walk to her. Damn she really does look fucking good with that shirt. She's hot and she's all mine

"And you're wearing boots! Park, Seonghwa you jerk!"

I pull her against me, my arms around her, "Shush", I tell her, pressing a kiss to her lips. I feel her melt against me, making me smile against her lips

"Can we have a nice day shopping now?", I ask, "I promise when we're done, I'll take you home and fuck you senseless"

"Oooo....ok", she whimpers

"Good girl". Taking her hand and lacing our fingers, I lead her to the entrance of the mall

---------------------------------------------------""This?", I ask, pulling out a frilly white dress. It's kinda ugly but I don't know if she'd like it. We've been to two stores already and she didn't like anything there

"Oh yeah Hwa, its perfect. If I was graduating preschool". I shrug, putting it back. Looking to her, I see her attention is on something. Getting closer, I watch her look at a pretty cream colored dress with white lace on it. She softly touches it

"Like it jagi?"

"Yeah it's pretty", she answers

"So get it"

She looks at the price tag, then snorts, "Yeah not for that price"

I quickly look at it. 600 dollars. Jesus, dresses cost that much? Well then again I bought Yoonah's prom* dress and that shit was expensive. I wonder if Joanne is going to prom

"Besides it's not a graduation dress. It's too fancy. It's like a prom dress or a wedding guest dress"

I hesitate. I don't know if I should ask. I don't know if I'd be jealous or not. "Are you going to prom?"

She looks at me like I'm dumb. "No"

"No?"

"No Seonghwa. I can't go with you and you're the only one I want to go with. I don't want to go alone either. So I'm just not going."

I feel bad. Prom is a thing all high schoolers should do. I know it's huge in America and it just started getting popular here**. "I'm sorry jagi"

She smiles at me, taking my hand, "It's ok Hwa. It's not a big deal anyway. It's just a party"

"If...if we weren't together would you have gone?"

She sighs, "Maybe if someone asked me. But I don't want to go without you so it doesn't matter"

But what is she going to do, just stay home while everyone is partying? I don't want that either. "Jagi, do you want to come over on the day of prom? You can stay over for the weekend too"

"Uh isn't Yoonah going to be there?"

I shake my head, "No. She wants to get ready at her mom's house. She's leaving at like 3 or 4. Apparently her mom hired like makeup artists and a hairstylist for her. They're having a girl's day or whatever. And after prom she's going back to her mom's so they can talk all about it all weekend". I shake my head. Girls. Always talking about everything

"Sure baby. But are you sure you don't want to be in that conversation?"

I roll my eyes, "No thanks"

"Aww c'mon. You don't wanna know if Yoon kissed anyone or had her first time?"

I look at her horrified, "No I don't want to know that. Her mom can deal with that stuff and boys"

She snickers, "Whatever you say baby. Let's look around more"

She leads me through the racks and racks of dresses. And as we go all I can think about is what she said about Yoonah. I've been so involved with Joanne, I don't know if my daughter has a boyfriend or anything

"Jo?"

"Uh huh?", she answers, making a face at a dress and putting it back

"Does Yoonah have a boyfriend?"

She lifts her gaze to me, "You really wanna find out this way instead of asking her?"

"I'm not asking her anything like that". Hell no. That's the mom department

"Really? You've taken care of her since she was little and you can't ask those questions?"

Nope. Yoonah and I are close but these are things a girl talks about with her mother, not with her dad. I mean I'd talk to her if she said anything but she hasn't. "Uh no", I answer

"Fine but you didn't hear it from me". Uh oh. "Yoonah has a boyfriend since September. A kid at school. He's really nice and kinda nerdy, so he's safe"

Since September? How the fuck didn't I notice? I didn't start having sex with Joanne until the middle of January so where the fuck was I for four months? "Has she-"

"Yes"

I feel my face pale and she giggles. "Not funny"

"Yeah it kinda is. It's not a huge deal"

"Yes it is if she's having sex!"

"I'm having sex with you and I'm only a year older"

"It's not the same thing", I argue

"Uh yes it is"

"Ok fine it is but it's still not"

"Care to elaborate?"

"You're not my daughter!", I exclaim

"Well thank god for that because this would be so wrong"

I roll my eyes, "C'mon jagi. It's different when I'm having sex with my girlfriend and when I'm hearing my baby girl is doing it"

She smiles, but comes over to me, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't know it'd bother you that much". I didn't know either. And I don't like being the last to know. "Look Hwa, she told her mom about it and she's on birth control"

"She is?", I gape

Joanne nods, "Yeah her mom got her on it". Fucking hell. "But Yoonah also told me she uses condoms too because she doesn't want to uh...be like her mom and get pregnant young". Well at least she's being careful and thinking of her future. "And anyway she didn't start until like last month". Ok, that's a little better. I'm calming down

"Ok baby?", she checks with me. I nod. "You're so cute when you're flustered", she giggles, kissing my cheek

"Yeah thanks". She turns back to the rack of dresses and continues to look. I wander to another rack, flipping though the dresses. I have no idea what she's looking for. Dresses that I think she's like she's skipping over. Maybe she's shopping for what her mom would like to see her in? Cause Joanne likes semi revealing clothes and I'm not complaining. Nor am I jealous if anyone looks at her because she's mine. I'm next to her and everyone will know she's mine

As I look at dresses, I think about how the fuck people wear some of them. They're just so ugly

"Do you need help?"

I look up to see a woman around my age standing next to me. "Oh no I'm good", I answer

"You just look a little lost", she smiles

"Oh. No not really. Just looking". She keeps smiling at me and I'm getting uncomfortable

"Are you here for your daughter?". What the hell? Why is she asking me that? How can she assume I even have a daughter?

"No"

"Well what type of dress are you looking for?" What? Didn't I just say I'm ok? Why didn't she leave?

"We have prom dresses, sweet sixteen dresses, party dresses, graduation dresses"

"Uh graduation?"

"Great. What color?"

"I....uh....I don't know". How do I make her go away? I feel her hand on my arm, being pulled towards another rack of dresses. Why is this lady touching me?

"These are some graduation dresses"

"Yeah uh thanks". She looks at me and I avoid eye contact. I don't remember sales people being so pushy

"So who's graduating?"

"Hwa", I hear Joanne call. Shit. I look behind me, seeing her walking towards me

"Oh is that you're daughter?"

"I think I found a dress baby", Joanne says, coming up to me

"Yeah jagi?", I say, pointedly

"Why are you over here? I was looking for you"

"Oh well I was uh informed that there were graduation dresses here"

She looks at the rack, "Yeah for thirteen year olds"

"Well the uh worker brought me here when I said graduation dresses"

Joanne finally notices the woman. Who is now staring at us in shock. "Oh. Well thanks for trying to help my boyfriend"

"Bbb... boyfriend?"

She nods, "Yeah boyfriend". Joanne takes my hand and drags me away

"Jagi, I'm sorry"

She looks back at me confused, "For what?"

I actually don't know. "For leaving you alone?"

"Oh c'mon Hwa it's ok. You're not my babysitter", she rolls her eyes

"But you were looking for me"

"And I found you", she shrugs stopping at a rack

"That lady wouldn't leave me alone. She just kept asking me questions then led me away from you", I try to explain

"I know"

Wait what? She knows? "Uh-"

"Hwa", she giggles, "The woman was flirting with you"

"What? No"

"Yes baby. God your so dumb sometimes. I saw her eye you from across the store and she beelined for you". Well I didn't see shit. "I figured you be ok but then I saw you struggling and the "go away" look on your face. I saw her bring you to the other rack. It was very entertaining"

"Yeah great", I grumble. If that's flirting then that woman needs to get better at it. I thought she was being a pushy sales person

"Anyway I decided to have mercy on you and save you"

"My hero", I say sarcastically

"Hey. I will go tell that lady that we broke up and you're all hers"

"No don't". I don't want to talk to that woman again. It was awkward and I'm not eager to relive that

"Then don't get snippy at me"

I realize that I'm annoying her with sarcastic answers Moving behind her, I wrap my arms around her. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to be snippy. You are my hero"

She snorts but turns to me, "Ok", then kisses me quickly, "Anyway I found this dress. What do you think?"

"It's pretty baby". It's a beige dress with a white overlay with flowers on it. Nice for a graduation. "Why don't you try it on?"

"Mmm yeah ok". She takes one and I follow her to the dressing room. A much older woman brings Joanne inside the dressing room while I sit in a chair outside of the room. After five minutes I hear a door open and Joanne say, "I want to show him"

"Who, you're dad?"

I cringe, rubbing my hand over my face. This is what I dreaded happening. People thinking she's my daughter

"He's my boyfriend", Joanne answers annoyed

"He's you're boyfriend?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No, uh no. It's just....how old are you?", the woman asks

"How is that your business?"

"It's not but you seem so young and he's older"

"And?", Joanne prompts

"Don't you think he's taking advantage of you?" God seriously? Is that what people will think? "No he's not. I went after him. I'm 19, he's 39. He's not 90."

"You went after him?", she gasps

"Yeah", Joanne says, gasping too, "I went after him. We have the sex and everything. We're together all the time. He picks me up from high school". I can't help but laugh in my hand at how extra she's being

"I..I.."

I can't imagine how that lady's face is. Probably embarrassed and horrified

"Yeah and I'm pregnant with his baby. We're going to get married when I graduate and he's going to take care of me. He's my sugar daddy too"

I'm honestly crying from how hard. I'm laugh. She's a nut

"Oh...my", the woman gets out. I hear footsteps and Joanne comes out in the dress she picked out, with the lady behind her. And when I see her, my mouth flops open. It's low cut but shows just enough of her big boobs and it fits her like a glove

"What'd ya think daddy?", she asks in a baby voice. I raise my eyebrow and she mouths, "Play along"

I guess I will since that lady was being so nosey. "It's perfect princess", I tell her. The woman coughs and I have to try hard to not laugh

"You sure? Not too much booby?", she asks looking in the mirror

"No it's good baby. You finally found a dress that holds you're big tits"

"Oh", the woman whispers under her breath. I take a glance at her and her face is hilarious. She's all red and she has a mix of horror, disgust and embarrassment on her face. Joanne comes, sits in my lap and I put my arms around her

"Can I have it daddy? I love the dress"

"I don't know baby. Are you gonna be a good girl later?"

She nods rapidly, "Yes daddy. I'll do whatever you want. I'll make daddy feel so good"

"My god", the woman gapes. This is really fun. The woman is so outraged and she can't say shit. Hilarious.

"Hmm ok princess, you can have it"

"Yay thanks daddy". She pecks me on the lips then gets up, going to the woman. "Daddy said I can have the dress"

"Oh yes. How...uh...nice of him"

Joanne smiles, then disappears inside the dressing room. The lady glares at me but I just smile and wave. She turns away from me continuing her task of putting dresses on hangers. A few minutes later Joanne come out. She smiles at the lady, "Thanks. Daddy's gonna have fun ripping it off me"

"Mother of god", I hear the woman gasp. I stand up and Joanne comes over to me, taking my hand leading me to the register

"You're a bad girl", I chuckle

"She pissed me off. How can she just assume you're my dad. We aren't even the same race!"

"I could of adopted you"

"Right because that's the first thing people think", she rolls her eyes

"Well apparently if they think you're my daughter", I point out

"Well people are dumb". I won't argue with her about that. The cashier rings up her dress and I go to pay for it

"Hwa no", she swats my hand away

"C'mon jagi"

"No. I have my mom's credit card. If I don't pay for it with the card she'll question me about where I was"

I sigh, giving in. It makes sense but I wanted to buy it for her. She pays, then takes my hand, leaving the store. "Now what?", I ask

"Shoes"

----------------------------------------------------"Those are pretty", I tell her as she tries another pair

"Eh", she says, taking them off. I know she doesn't like them that much because she's looking at flat shoes. She's a heel girl. I saw her eyeing a pair of pretty fucked me high heeled shoes but she bypassed them

"What about those?", I say pointing to the shoes she was looking at

She shakes her head, "No. The graduation is on the field. Those heels will sink in the grass and make it so hard for me to walk. Plus they'd get dirty and they're too pretty."

"But you like them baby"

"Yeah Hwa. I like a lot of things but I can't afford them", she says, then looks at me, "And you're not buying them so get that out of your head". Damn, she knows me well. "I'm serious baby. Don't buy me anything"

"Alright, alright", I say defeated

"I don't need things Hwa. I need you"

That makes me smile. "You have me aegi". I press a quick kiss to her lips, then she gets up and looks for more shoes

@sktbzc0re @sherrybirkingirl @hijirikaww

[hoodoo12]

The Ties That Bind (And How To Follow Them) 1/?

Heave ho, here we go!

@werwulfy @rainingpaint @bunnys-beetlejuice-blog @mel-time @heresathreebee @sweetcat-666 @turtlepated @infptarius

Pate was dreaming, and this time she knew it.

For weeks she had been checking her reflection in mirrors, examining her hands to make sure they were normal, asking herself while awake “Am I dreaming?”, all in preparation for when she was actually dreaming.

“I am dreaming,” she told herself matter-of-factly.

In the months since her encounters with the demons Beetlejuice and his brother Rigel, Pate had apparently had many, deeply unpleasant dreams from what Beetlejuice told her afterwards; moaning and tossing in her sleep, desperate to escape something. She never remembered when she woke, which might be a blessing but was mostly annoying.

Now she had developed the ability to take control.

“I am dreaming,” she repeated to herself in the same, flat tone.

She looked around herself to see where she was. In her mind’s eye, she was standing amidst the hazy impression of a coniferous forest, the sky overhead gray like it was threatening rain. The road she stood on (and she felt sure it was a road, it was hard underfoot) was a rainbow of colors all splotched and running together like an impressionist painting.

Everything was slightly fuzzy around the edges, as though it was all out of focus and if she could just tune in her mental binoculars she could see it clearly. But already the dream was beginning to unravel and she felt herself waking up. She opened her eyes, finding herself reclining on a squashy pleather couch where she’d lain down to fall asleep. With a sigh, she sat up.

“Did you see anything?” asked the older woman sitting in a worn wingback chair across from her. Pate nodded and relayed the muddled details of the rainbow road in the watercolor woods. “Don’t forget to write it down,” she advised. Pate had begun keeping a dream journal for the purposes of trying to remember as much as she could from her dreams, carrying it with her to add details if and when they came back to her.

“It’s been the same pieces and fragments for weeks now,” Pate griped. “And I don’t know what any of it means.”

“You will,” assured her mentor, shrugging absently. “Or you won’t. It might not mean anything. The important thing is learning how to take control of what’s inside your head.” Pate grumbled, her face in her hands, but privately acknowledged that maybe the other woman had a point.

It was sheer happenstance, or maybe fate, that had brought Pate into Lillian Borden’s second-hand shop. She liked antique stores and sometimes used goods stores had interesting or rare finds. Pate had probably passed the shop a hundred times without ever going in, but Mrs. Borden had recognized something in her from the moment they met. Whatever Pate had, Lillian Borden had it, too.

At Beetlejuice’s urging, Pate had asked Mrs. Borden to teach her how to manage her . . . whatever it was she was having. Psychic episodes? Recurring nightmares? Visions? Either way, his concern had prodded her to seek outside help and Lillian had agreed to do what she could.

“Try to go back to it,” Lillian was saying. “See if you can make anything else out.”

With a sigh Pate shut her eyes and willed her mind to revisit her dream. It was overcast but not raining, and as she focused the irregular splotches of color on the rainbow road became brighter, the details of the surrounding woods more defined. They were definitely cone bearing trees.

The beginnings of a headache were making their appearance behind her eyes and in her temples and Pate checked the time. They’d been in the back room of Lillian’s shop for over an hour, and she still had to do something about dinner and get ready for work tomorrow.

“I guess we’d better call it a night,” she said.

Lillian hummed noncommittally, then said, “You burn that sage I gave you?”

Pate hesitated, only for the briefest second because, no, she hadn’t used the smudging tools. “Yeah,” she lied, hoping it was more convincing than it felt. Lillian’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if she didn’t believe her.

“There’s a presence around you, girl,” she said. “A dark presence, a powerful presence. The smart thing to do would be to get rid of it.” Pate nodded her understanding, but immediately dismissed the idea.

There was only one dark, powerful presence she knew of that would be around her, and she had no intention of sending him away. In fact, he would be waiting on her to come home.

⁂

Puttering around Pate’s apartment, Beetlejuice couldn’t find a thing to do. He’d already read ad nauseum the graphic novels Pate had gotten from the library for him. She’d expressly forbidden him to shove any dirty kitchen towels back into the drawer he found them in; he was permitted to use them--her nose had wrinkled at the word “used”--but if one was “used”, she made him promise to wash it. The birds on the birdfeeder were just dumb sparrows and starlings, nothing fun like crows or vultures. He had the brilliant idea to put scraps of meat out to attract them which worked to draw in the acceptable alternative of raccoons, until Pate got a letter from the landlord that made her yell because it threatened eviction, so raw meat outside was even less allowed than using the towels to wipe his junk and putting them back where they belonged.

Seeming to realize that a bored Beetlejuice was a potentially destructive one, she did concede to purchase the streaming Disney channel. He spent some of the time she was gone flipping from The Muppet Show and documentaries about animals. He promised not to watch WandaVision without her. Sometimes she allowed him to go to work with her, if she knew no one else would be there. During her visits to Lillian’s, however, he was not invited. “I have to concentrate,” she told him, “and you hanging around distracts me.” She didn’t say it, but one time he’d chased a pesky minor poltergeist out of a chest of drawers in the older woman’s antique shop. It caused a racket and broke the drawers, and he knew that was more likely the reason he wasn’t to go back. He lazed around and watched TV and practiced card tricks in front of her mirror. He didn’t need to practice card tricks; he had his own sleight of hand better than any stage magician, but it gave him something to do to fill the time. Like a dog, he was tuned to when Pate returned. In a quick movement he made the deck he was holding disappear faster than humanly possible, and was beside the door waiting for her to open it the next second. Tonight was taco night! He took the bags of food the moment she was in the door. It was a move more greedy than gracious, but she didn’t seem to mind because she asked him how his day was and told him not to eat the raw ingredients in the same breath as she hung up her jacket. The specter waited for her to come into the kitchen before hugging her. “You look tired, baby,” he announced, eyeing her critically. “Are you sure Lillian is helping you? It seems like she’s just making everything worse.” He wanted Pate well and whole, but wasn’t pleased that although Pate had faith in this woman, it didn’t seem to be doing much good. He had to admit, however, that nothing he’d done had been able to help alleviate her nightmares either.

⁂

Having never had a live-in partner before, Pate had never given much thought to what it would be like to actually have someone waiting for her at home. But she found that she liked it. For the most part, anyway.

Despite the few hiccups like the incident with the racoons and the time he’d ruined her good skillet melting marbles in it on the stovetop, they had a pretty good thing going she thought. The way he always appeared at the door the second she walked in, like an overlarge, excitable, slightly moldy golden retriever never failed to make her smile. Tonight was no exception.

Pate gratefully allowed him to take her bags through to the kitchen while she deposited her keys and purse and jacket in their usual spots, following him and sighing contentedly as he wrapped her in his arms. She smiled against his chest, wishing she could simply live there and not have to worry about work or training or anything else. At his proclamation, she drew back enough to look him in the eye, smiling wanly.

“I kinda am tired, Beej,” she admitted. It had been some time since she’d gotten a decent night’s sleep, the dreams and nightmares taking turns with a general sense of unease and restlessness that kept her awake.

“The dreams may not be getting better, but she’s helped me enough that I can remember them when I wake up. Maybe that’s the key to figuring out what they’re all about. And if I keep practicing the lucid dreaming thing, maybe I could even stop them myself.”

Raising herself on tip-toe to press a quick peck on his lips, Pate then set his destructive proclivities to chopping up the tomatoes and jalapenos and other toppings while she browned and seasoned the meat for their tacos. It filled her with a cozy, domestic feeling as Beetlejuice jabbered absently about whatever had come into his head, interspersed with the ambiance of sizzling hamburger and the clacking of the knife against the cutting board.

She considered telling him about Lillian’s insistence that she cleanse her apartment and dismiss him, but she had a good idea how he’d respond to that and didn’t want to upset him. Besides, if she had anything to say about it he wasn’t going anywhere he didn’t want to. He was here because they both wanted him to be, and that was the end of it.

Instead she removed the pan from the burner, turned off the eye and moved to stand beside him at the island and the heaps of thoroughly massacred vegetables. “What’re we watching tonight?” she asked, opening the taco shells and arranging them on the plates.

⁂

She made him use a knife--knife tricks! He should practice knife tricks!--on the tomatoes since on the first taco night he’d simply crushed them to pulp, but she did say it was okay to rip the lettuce with his hands. Beej did that with relish, managing to fling bits into the air. Like he was imparting a secret, he told Pate that they recorded the noise of breaking lettuce and celery to substitute for bones breaking in movies.

Pate reminded him he told her that every time they had tacos, but softened her chiding with a kiss.

There was a Nicolas Cage movie he was interested in seeing, Color Out of Space, but maybe that wasn’t Pate’s idea of a good time. It was Friday, so the decision was easy: what was with the recasting of Pietro? Did it mean there was finally going to be a connection between the X-men and the Avengers? They settled on the couch to catch up on the latest episode of WandaVision. For the entirety of the show, with the exception of once or twice having to rewind because it was hard to hear over the crunch of the taco shells, they ate without interruptions. Once it was over, the dishes had been cleared, and Pate changed into pajamas, Beetlejuice escorted her back to the couch. Sometimes she had emails to answer from work or simple tasks to complete from Lillian, but tonight she seemed more tired than normal, so he held her while she told him about her day. She said something about wanting to . . . Beetlejuice waited a moment for the rest of the sentence, but Pate had dozed off without completing it. Despite what they’d been through, he still marveled at how easily she gave her trust to someone like him. It would be easy enough to get her into her bed, but he liked being her pillow, so he pulled a blanket from the back of the couch over them, and turned that Nic Cage movie on low to watch it while she slept. Maybe it was the different location, maybe it was because she had just had a lesson with Lillian--maybe it was Nic Cage!--but Pate didn’t stir while they were on the couch. Smiling and hopeful that maybe her nighttime dreams were getting under control, Beetlejuice carried her to bed. It was in the darkest part of the night that she kicked and cried out against him, lost in her head. ⁂

Pate sat bolt upright with a gasp, chest heaving and heart racing. After taking a moment to orient herself, she buried her face in her hands. The same dream, the same tantalizing images, the same mounting sense of dread that grew worse and worse as the dream wore on, pressing between her shoulder blades and against her breastbone, constricting her chest.

The scenes flashes behind her eyelids again: standing on the rainbow road in the middle of the misty forest; the strange red brick tower that stood like a transplanted European castle turret on top of a hill; the sound of rushing water; and standing the in center of a round room with no roof, the starry sky overhead, surrounded by figures that all looked exactly like her.

And the overwhelming notion that something was coming, something unfathomable and indescribable, something powerful and ravenous, drawing closer and closer.

Sighing into her fingers, Pate dropped her hands, sure that she must’ve roused Beej from his restive state, but before she could turn to him another figure appeared in her periphery. Standing by the side of the bed was a strange woman, tumbles of auburn waves falling over her shoulders, her eyes glinting like a cat’s in the darkness.

“Hello, dear,” she purred at Pate, a friendly yet unsettling smile on her pretty heart-shaped face. “You have something I want.”

Without taking her eyes off the intruder, Pate fumbled behind her for Beetlejuice, to wake him, to warn him, but her hand found only empty air. Jolted by this realization, Pate turned to find his place in the bed vacant. Jerking back around to face the smiling woman with her strange eyes, panic surged through Pate’s chest and propelled her heart into her throat.

“Where is he?” she demanded, somehow knowing the woman was responsible for her vanished demon lover.

“Where he belongs,” the woman responded, her smile widening into a predatory grin that froze Pate’s blood in her veins. The terrible foreboding she felt quickly grew into abject terror that she would never see him again.

Then, blessedly, her eyes snapped open to find herself wrapped in Beetlejuice’s arms as he cooed and whispered into her hair that everything was okay, she was just dreaming. Shaking, she clung to him to assure herself that he really was there, feeling the wetness of tears on her cheeks.

“You were gone!” she croaked against him. “There was this woman, her eyes were wrong and she took you!”

She said this with the certainty that comes with dreams, where you simply know something to be true. That certainty told her that something, be it the strange red-haired woman with the glowing eyes or the unknowable presence that stalked ever nearer in her nightmares, was going to try and take him from her. She couldn’t let that happen, wouldn’t let it happen.

⁂

His lover’s abrupt startle awake after twisting and turning and being unable to be roused made him feel worse. What use was he if he couldn’t help her? During her struggles he held her as best he could and soothed her, even though he wasn’t sure Pate even heard him. The tears weren’t uncommon, but specifics about what her mind conjured up were. Beej brushed it off as simple lingering fear, and assured her he wasn’t going anywhere and there was no woman. A weak joke that if she wanted to invite another woman in he wouldn’t object was summarily chewed up and spit out by the rational portion of his brain, the one that had a slightly better understanding of what may and may not be appropriate. It was small, but getting larger. It also nixed allowing him to say, “I guess Nic Cage isn’t the answer.” So he continued to whisper to her and let her cling to him, and because she’d requested it before, asked open-ended questions to help her try and recall as much of the dream as possible. He didn’t understand why that seemed to be important to her mentor, but it was easy and maybe if Pate talked through it, she’d be less frightened.

Mostly he hoped she would just be able to go back to sleep, and vowed to let her stay in bed as long as she would like the next morning.

tbc . . .

[serensama]

To Release #4-#7

In my unbridled rage, I started and finished everything- even the two I lost for Jumin and Saeyoung. I specifically apologise for Jumin’s- it’s short and brash and nowhere near to the standard that my original piece had. I poured my heart out into that one... and it’s gone. I do not have the strength to try to write it again. So, instead I offer my apologies. This was written in one sitting with no editing, so this will have typos and missing words and incorrect tenses everywhere. Again. My apologies. 

Jumin, Saeyoung, Saeran and V need to let MC go. 

Years ago, I had asked the amazing @promiscuous-jalapeno to write a HC for me when I was too scared to write my own and she did an amazing job- tore me right up it did. I asked her shortly thereafter if she minded if I tried to do it and she was kind enough to encourage me. Nearly 4 years and I’ve finally done it.

Trigger warnings: Character death, curse words, mild sexual themes, and cancer.

This is for my friend, my sister- Susana. I don’t know how to let you go. But one day I will. And one day I will see you again. Rest well until then dear one.

This is for my baby, my puppy Meiko- run free my little one. I know you’ll be waiting for me too. Keep Susana company and keep her safe until we catch up, okay? Good Boy.

Jumin:

-       They came home from a business trip and MC wasn’t feeling her best, but it was a long trip and she was bound to be tired.

-       Except she was sick for over a week and she was too tired to fight Jumin to not send over the doctor to check her over.

-       It wasn’t good news, but not yet the worst.

-       So of course Jumin sprang into action. He called every doctor he knew and every pharmaceutical company, money was not an issue so he could afford to ensure that MC got the best of care. However he never paid for anyone to assist him in looking after his beloved wife.

-       He took time off work and appointed Jaehee into a temporary role to replace him whilst he looked after MC. From fluffing her pillow to bathing her to ensuring the correct doses of medication were taken on time, no task too menial or below him if it was for his MC.

-       And after a year of treatment, she got better. Things were back to normal, sure she wasn’t as strong as before but she had time to build up that strength. To be stronger than before.

-       Two years passed and her sickness was almost forgotten, except when she wouldn’t wake up one day.

-       Jumin couldn’t wait for the doctor to come to him so in his pyjamas he carried her to the car and drove to the doctor’s house himself.

-       There was nothing left they could do. All treatments exhausted, the cure would end up ravaging what was left of her life.

-       Instead of staying idly by at home she refused for Jumin to take any more time away from his company like he had those years before, she wanted to make sure he could still return to being Jumin even when she was long gone.

-     �� But he didn’t know how to be Jumin without her anymore. He didn’t know anything.

-       The sickness was relentless this time, only weeks before her body rejected the years of hard work and effort she had given to get better. She was weaker than before. She had no more fight to give.

-       However before she was completely bedbound MC asked Jumin for a favour. To return back to the vineyard he had taken her to back when they were just engaged. She longed to see the sunset amidst all the red and purples. Longed to relive a time when things held so much more promise.

-       How could Jumin refuse?

-       It was a long drive but he quite fancied the idea of spending hours in the backseat with MC just talking to her, playing with her hair, her hands or running his own down her cheeks. Any time with her was all he needed to be content.

-       They were talking, just chatting away, lost in the in between, the mixture of what was memory and what could be… when she slipped away from him. So quietly and gently as was her way, never disturbing him in life… or in death.

-       He held on to her, wishing and hoping to anything that would listen to give her back to him. He would pay any price, do any deed if she would just come back. He didn’t know he was saying these out loud. Didn’t know anything else existed.

-       Driver Kim asked if they should head back or perhaps go to the hospital but Jumin wouldn’t have it.

“Drive on.” “But Mr Han.” 

“I said. Drive on.”

-       And so he did. He drove and he drove and all the while Jumin kissed MC’s brow and let his fingers trace her soft, frozen features. She was still warm. He knew she was gone but… she was still warm.

-       They had stopped for petrol not surprising seeing as they had driven throughout the day and it was almost midnight, he didn’t even know where they were. Nor did he care.

-       Then the door opened beside him.

-       It was cold.

-       Cold air rushed through the car and MC would get…

-       “Assistant Kang.” “Mr Han.” “What are you doing here? It’s late and you’re in your nightgown.” “I’m here to help you Mr Han.” “I am in no need of help.” “Driver Kim called me and told me what happened. Oh Mr Han, I’m so so sorry.”

“I… yes. Thank you. If Driver Han needs to be replaced in order to sleep then please arrange for another driver to meet us here and we can continue on-”

“Where are you going to go Mr Han? You know this isn’t right, you need to take her back.” “Assistant Kang this is above your pay grade.” “She was my friend Mr Han. Not just your wife. You can’t dismiss me for trying to help my friend.” “She is fine.” “I wasn’t only talking about her.” “Assistant Kang-” “Jumin.” “Please.”

-       Jumin stopped and stared at his friend, eyes bloodshot and skin pale. “Jaehee. I … I don’t know what to do…” “Let me help.” “If I let her go now… if we turn around and she goes… I don’t belong anywhere. She was my home. When I got back to that apartment that won’t be home because she won’t be there. I can’t return to C&R because that’s where we worked together. Right now… here… this is all I have left Jaehee.” “Jumin-” “If I don’t leave this spot. I can tell myself that she’s sleeping. That none of this is happening and she’s just sleeping until we get to where we need to go. If I go out there… it makes this real. I’m not strong enough to let this be real.” “…” “I can’t do this.” “…” “I can’t do this without her.” “…” “I’m scared.”

“I know. Me too.” “I can’t.” “But you will, you will learn. We all will, together.”

-        Jumin nodded and allowed Jaehee to help. His hold on MC still as strong as ever. However when the time came for him to let go, to relinquish his grip on her, he learned that he did know how to release her hand… and still remember the feel of her hand in his. He took one last breath of her scent and muttered words of love in her ear once more.

-       In time he would learn to live again, how to function in society and somehow continue on. And perhaps, one day he would learn to exhale and know how to breath again.

-       Perhaps.

Saeyoung:

-       It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

-       That was the saying wasn’t it.

-       It kept replaying over and over in his head as he sat in the ER replaying the scene in his head. Trying desperately to retrace his steps and find out where he went wrong, where it all went so so wrong.

-       It was just a normal afternoon, MC had managed to drag him away from the computer and one thing lead to another and they got into a play fight, nothing out of the normal for them. Rough and tumble play was a great opener for rough and tumble sex after all. She had pinned him down between her legs and he pushed on her shoulder a little harder to try to tip her over and instead of the haughty laughter that would normal bubble out of her mouth, she screamed. Blood curdling. Sweat inducing. Heart drop stopping. Screamed.

-       Saeyoung watched as he could see the visible dip in her collarbone as she rocked back on forth above him with tears streaming her face. The red head scrambled out from beneath her, cursing his lack of grace as he accidentally jostled her, her wails of pain resonating deep within his ears.

-       He could feel the adrenaline start to course through his veins and his thoughts clouding and clearing at the same time. He had scrambled to his desk and found his phone and wallet and pocketed them before carefully helping MC up and escorted her to the car, every movement measured and cautious to ensure the least amount of pain for her. And for him. Hearing her cry out like that… it was the worst kind of torture.

-       So there he was. All alone with his thoughts. His cyclical, evil thoughts.  Finding ways he could have prevented that from happening. If only he didn’t hit her so hard. If only he didn’t work so much and paid more attention to her and… shit.

-       He opened and closed his eyes, squeezing the tears away that came unbidden, staring mindlessly at the speckled tile of the waiting room.

-       After what may have been hours or days, two feet came into his line sight, forcing his eyes to rear upwards to the face attached to the scuffed white sneakers.

-       The doctor in front him continued to talk and he could feel his head nod along at what he thought may have been appropriate times, his words muffled and obtuse. Until the word he hadn’t expected popped up and it felt like it crashed straight into his eardrums and forced his world off kilter. Forcing him further down into his seat as if his spine had melted and settled to the floor.

-       It was just game. Harmless. They were laughing. She was laughing.

-       She was dying.

-       The disease already deep in her system, deep within her. Untapped and unchecked. That was why she was so fragile- he had always known that he had to be careful with her- and he had placed the chink in her brittle armour.

-       The doctor tried his best to prepare him and make him understand that were ways to keep her comfortable until her time would eventually come to pass.

“Weeks… maybe months…”

Maybe.

-       She was so small in the bed. Her arm in the sling and so pale even amongst all the white. The bastards had told her everything as she sat in the room alone and in pain, no one to hold her hand and tell her that everything would work out just fine.

-       He would make sure of it.

-       She offered him a small smile and a playful shrug of her shoulder which earned her a string of colourful language falling from her tongue. He smiled and shrugged back. Small, familiar gestures to offer them both comfort; falling short but the intent warming nonetheless.

-       The doctor said his goodbyes and left the two to their own devices.

-       “I’m… I’m so sor-”

“No.” “…No?” “I don’t have enough time left on this earth for sorry ‘Young.”

“You will. I’ll make sure you’re around until you’re old and grey, giving me more time to apologise for all the stupid things I still have to do with you.” “-‘Young-” “Like, I still need to go skinny dipping at the new waterpark that opened up.” “You promised you were going to do that at night where no children would be witness to your dangly bits-” “Or wear another one of your new dresses and stretch out the arms-” “-I can’t believe you did that, Jaehee bought that last dress-”

“Or throw our kid up in the air and accidentally smash their head into the ceiling.” “….”

“The point is… you’re going to be around.” “I will try.” “No, you will be. I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll contact Jumin… o-or Vanderwood… or a couple of the other agents I used to keep in touch with-” “Saeyoung, no.” “… Surely someone will know a better, more advanced treatment that can give us more time and-” “Saeyoung-” “I might have to do a couple of jobs in return-”

“NO!”

-       Her voice echoed out of the room and into the hall, snapping him out of his musings. “No. No more jobs. No Vanderwood. No agents. Don’t… I don’t want that. I want you. Here, with me. I don’t want you out there doing God knows what that could have you hurt or dying-” “AND I WANT YOU TO DIE HERE? NOW? NEXT WEEK? NEXT YEAR?” he bellowed back, hands shaking the end of the bed, her chart clattering to the floor. “If I can fix this, doing it anyway I can, I will.” “Saeyoung… please…” “I don’t want to hear it-” “Please I’m scared.” “… MC…” “I’m scared for me and for you and… I don’t want to do… do this right now and… I want to go home but I c-cant and-”

-        Her words dissolved into shuddering cries, quickly buried in Saeyoung’s protective embrace. Their squabble forgotten the moment he heard the crack in her voice. Saeyoung tightened his hold on her and brushed his lips against her hair, breathing in her scent.

-       He wouldn’t leave her, however he wouldn’t sit futilely by and just watch the woman who saved him wane away into nothing- not when he could do something about it.

-       After undergoing more tests and meeting after meeting of specialists with their shots and pills and treatment plans- they were finally able to go home.

-       Except for MC, it may have been better to stay in the hospital because for all intents and purposes she was alone. He may have not been going out doing secret missions and getting shot at but he was always at the computer or on the phone, talking in hushed tones that seeped through the walls no matter how low he spoke. Each secretive whisper adding to the loneliness she felt inside her own home. Beside her but not with her.

-       Taking care of her every need but not the one she needed most.

-       Time. More than food, water or air. She needed time with him… and she was running out of it.

-       And he… out of options.

-       No one had anything he could access without going back in deep and to do that meant to go crawling back to… MC would never forgive him… but if she was dead he would never be able to forgive himself.

-       It had been two weeks and she looked like she was stable. This mission would pay well and get the CEO of the best pharmaceutical company in his debt, it would take four days, one week tops. It would be worth it. She would be safe and they would have time together, time enough to waste arguing over this and to move on from it. He would do anything.

-       Saeyoung had purposely planned to leave on a night where Saeran was out with his friends and had waited until she had fallen asleep with her dreams playing behind her eyelids. Saeyoung pressed the lightest of kisses onto her forehead, on the tip of her nose and on her perfect lips. His silent apology for what he was about to do.

-       He picked up his bag and headed towards his garage, thankful that he didn’t have to say goodbye to her lest he lose the will to do what was necessary.

-       Steeling his resolve, Saeyoung took in a deep breath and readied himself for a task he’d have done in the other life he had left far behind. Digging into his shirt he found the crucifix at the end of his necklace, the silver shining even in the dim light of his car. A prayer, a wish, a vow- sealed with a kiss to the cold metal.

-       He was ready and prepared. He was all set to go- what he hadn’t accounted for was a certain blonde haired friend walking up his driveway with a bag of fried chicken to share.

-       “…Yoosung?”

“Hyung? Where are you going off to?” “Wh-Why are you here?”

“I was in the neighbourhood and thought that you and MC Noona would like some company? It’s been a while since I last visited.” “Uh… uh that’s… now’s not a good time right now… I uh… MC’s not feeling well and I’m about to get her some medicine and-” “She’s right.” “Um… what?” “She says nowadays you’re so out of practice, you get flustered when you have to lie.” “What… what are you even talking about? Look I don’t have the time, I need to-” “I don’t know where you’re going. Or what you’re about to do… all I do know that you leaving MC alone now is the worst thing you can do.” “All of you don’t understand that I’m doing this for MC-” “And you still can’t get it through that thick head of yours that you trying to do what you believe is best for MC always leads to hurting her more!” “Could you just get out of the way?” “All those years ago- when you pushed her away, made her suffer all alone- you’re doing it again. She can’t talk to you so she talks to me, to the rest of the RFA. You’re letting history repeat because you think you know what is best and not taking her feelings into account.” “Don’t be ridiculous-” “She’s dying Hyung. The way she talks… she doesn’t have long. Are you really going to spend one second away from her when all she wants is you? Not me. Not anyone else. Just you.”

-       Saeyoung could feel the wall he had built up to cage his emotions slowly crumbling away with each passing second. It was true, he had learned nothing. Making the same mistakes. Hurting the same woman time and again. It was time he made the right decisions.

“So stay. Please Hyung. Don’t do this, not again. She needs you.”

When did you get so smart Yoosung? “Did you bring any of the spicy kind? You know MC loves those the best.”

-       Yoosung smiled and nodded, of course he did.

-       They both went back into the house to find MC sitting up in bed, all bleary eyed and hair sticking up at odd angles.

“… Do I smell chicken?”

-       So they all sat down on the bed, regaling in each other’s company and good food. None of them mentioning the fact that there was a backpack at foot of the bed.

-       Saeyoung made a new promise then and there, amidst the sounds of Yoosung asking MC advice about how to ask one of his LOLOL guild members out, that he would make every last second count and make it worth a lifetime. He would take every chance he could to bring her joy, to make up for all the times he made her sad. In homage for all the times he would never get to make her happy in the future. He would fill her time with laughter.

-       Her descent happened slowly at first, needing to nap a little bit more, the aches in her body happening more frequently. Then as her sickness began to sink its claws deeper into her, the fatigue had her bedridden and the drugs that kept her ‘comfortable’ were slowly getting becoming ineffective. However throughout it all- Saeyoung still made her laugh. Through the pain and the exhaustion, her heart was full. She was not alone after all.

-       They would spend the days snacking and watching anime. Baking cakes for breakfast and having ice cream for dinner. Ordering food at 3am in the morning. Taking long drives out to nowhere and sitting on the roof of his car and stargazing. It was on one such a trip that he knew what their next great adventure should be.  

-       The new drugs she was on… she could barely stay awake. She had mere moments in the day where she was lucid, not enough energy to barely keep a conversation longer than 30 minutes at a time before needing to rest. She was going on without him and there was nothing he could do but…

-       He made one last phone call.

-       She was awake, she knew it- but it was dark… oh that was right… ‘Young had blindfolded her. Where were they going? They were in the car before but she had told him she was tired… she must have fallen asleep and he wanted to keep this destination a mystery… what… what the hell was that noise… “’Young… slow… slow down you’re driving too fast.” “Sorry, no can do MC… I promise, it will be worth it.” “… S’long as you’re being… careful.”

-       A familiar pull drew down in the pit of her stomach as she felt the car lift off the road.

-       The… wait

-       “Young?”

-       Fast. They were going too fast. “Young?!”

-       Her heart thumped harder in her chest, fear coursing through her as she was certain and frail bones could no longer contain the strength of her heartbeat.

-       And then- light- she was so light. Only tied to the world by the harnesses holding her in place.

-       Warm hands unfastened the tie around her head, the light piercing her eyes as they adjusted as quickly as they could. Bright red hair and obnoxious orange glasses, kind amber eyes and smile… such a beautiful smile from the man she loved. Strong arms wrapping around her to hold her close as they swam in the free air of the plane, unbound  from the constraints of gravity.

-       As they came back down the first time MC gasped and clapped in glee, tired eyes gleamed with joy and as she realised just what was happening.

-       “Saeyoung…” “We did baby… we’re at the space station… just like we always said we would be.”

-       Again and again they basked in the feeling of lightness, those snippets of time where they were free of the of the weight of the world and everything that awaited them when they would eventually land.

-       “’Young… we’re flying… we’re flying.”

“… We are.” “’Young… ‘Young…. Flying.”

-       His fingers curled into her clothes as he clung to her, her body so tiny against his and even though she weighed nothing- cradling her lifeless body would forever be the heaviest thing he would ever had to bear.

Saeran:

-       She was just getting a physical because she had gotten a new job.

-       She felt fine.

-       She was completely blindsided by the fact that she had been asked to come in by the doctor who had examined her.

-       Apparently… apparently she had something wrong with her heart. Something she was born with. Largely inoperable and… well it didn’t… it didn’t bode well.

-       She could try some medications to slow down what was happening but…

-       MC told her parents over the phone. She had planned to tell Saeran some other time when she knew how to handle it better, when she could think of a way to make it sound more palatable. But how did you tell the person you loved that you were going to die?

-       No. MC was not ready to tell him.

-       Which of course meant he walked in on her crying to her mother that she didn’t want to die.

-       She didn’t expect him to take the phone and hang up it up. Didn’t expect for him to look at her with wild eyes and limbs shaking, lips pulled tight with worry and blood drained from his skin. She didn’t know what to expect. “Is it true?” was all he could ask, his voice so quiet she could barely hear him. She nodded. “How long have you known?” “Three days.”

-       She didn’t expect for him to throw the phone against the wall beside him as he rushed out of the door, trying his best to ignore her cries of his name. How could she expect for him to handle this well when she couldn’t. MC just slipped to the ground from their sofa and continued to cry on her own, still muffling her sobs for a reason far beyond even her knowledge.

-       He didn’t know what to do. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. None of them good and all too fast for him to catch between too clumsy hands. He felt as if his skin wasn’t enough to hold him together and he would burst at the seams and still… he would still have too many thoughts and too many feelings.

-       He had to do something. He couldn’t save her. He couldn’t do anything right. But he know so many ways he could do something wrong and he could do those over and over again.

-       He didn’t target anyone specifically. Just some random guy on the street who was yelling at his girlfriend? Sister? Co-worker? He didn’t care. He just had too much pain in his head and in his chest and if he didn’t…

-       He felt an explosion of agony in his fist. He probably splintered a bone or something. Didn’t matter. This pain he knew, this pain he understood and knew how to stow away and forget about. This pain he could handle.

-       So again, one hit then two, until the guy was out cold. He felt someone spin him around and try to subdue him but no, there were too many emotions and not enough skin to contain him. Two guys, then four. Whose blood did he wear on his hands? His own? His foes? He didn’t care. More. He needed more screams that weren’t his own… cries that weren’t hers.

-       Finally someone managed to connect with his eye and he was almost giddy from the sting of their right hook. Yes. Yes. He needed this.

“Saeran! What the hell?” Oh. The actor. Great. 

“Fuck off Zen.” “No. Stop. STOP! What are you doing- hey buddy get off of him I got this handled- why are you attacking these people?” “Fuck them and fuck you. I don’t answer to you.” “What would MC think of this? She’s been by your side and helped you through all these years and you repay her by deciding to on a crazy free for all?”

-       At the mention of her name, a flurry of emotions passed over his face. Anger. So much anger. Until it subsided into a frown, and then a shuddering breath and a chocked sob.

“It doesn’t matter what that woman thinks-” “Woman?!”

“She’s dead.” “What?!” “She… she will be. She’s good as dead. She’s sick. Dying. She’s leaving me behind so … it doesn’t matter what she thinks or does from this point out because.. it’s me. Again it’s just gonna be me so you can go to hell and she can too.”

-       Zen’s eyes softened at the sight before him. Of course. Of course. If MC was his girlfriend and she told him she was going to pass away… well… he couldn’t blame Saeran. He might have done even worse.

“Saeran, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want your pity asshole.” “What can I… is there anything…” “Shut up! I was doing just fine without you. Without all of you. Leave me the fuck alone.”

Then why are you crying Saeran. You say all of this as tears stream down your face. “Okay then. Back to it.”

-       Saeran stared at him in shock as Zen put up his fists and crouched down to a defensive position.

“The fuck you doing?” “Fighting you. This was helping you said, fighting me. So come on. Fight me. Hurt me. Whatever. I can take it.”

-       Saeran stared at him as if he were the one in torn clothes and covered in blood.

-       “If this is something I can do to get you back to normal so you can get back to MC and help her, then this is the least I can do. So come on. Fight me.” “N-no.” “Come on man, I’m a little rusty but I can do this.” “I said no!”

-       “You’re hurting right? That’s why you want to hurt others. I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve done this too. Let it out, let it out on me, don’t hurt anyone else. I’m here for you.”

-       Saeran stepped back as he made to lift his hands… only to slump back down at his sides as he began to cry in earnest. His motives easily revealed, his adrenaline whittled back to nothing. Zen straightened up and dropped his fists. “Let’s go get you cleaned up. You can’t go back to MC like that.” “I can’t go back to MC at all.” “Don’t be stupid. That’s where you belong. Hurry up, it’s getting really late now, we can’t have her all alone at home in your neighbourhood. She’d probably be looking for you if you stay out much later.”

-       She was just about to leave when she found him standing at the front door. She had her jacket half on and her keys dangling from her mouth. Eyes puffy, red, sore. Still. Still she worried about him, looked out for him. Saeran swallowed up the regret that bubbled in his throat and stepped forward, drawing the dazed woman into his embrace. “I’m sorry.” “Saeran-” “I… I wasn’t ready to hear about you. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready but… it wasn’t right what I did and I’m sorry. I’m sorry to you and your father-” “-Mother” “Right. Yeah. I’m sorry. What can I do? What can we do?” “… Dinner? Let’s have some dinner first… after that.. I don’t know either.”

-       MC didn’t take the new job that was still offered to her. He didn’t blame her, who would want to stay in an office job stuck doing the same boring thing day in and out when you had only a few months to… well… office work was never his cup of tea in the first place.

-       “Saeran. Let’s go to Japan.”

“Huh?” “And then let’s go to China. And then maybe we can go to Europe… and maybe to South America? Oh and the Caribbean!” “Wha- what are you talking about MC?” “I want to see the world and I want to see it with you while I can. I don’t want the rest of my life to be just going to the doctors and going to RFA meetings. I want to experience everything I can.” Saeran could feel his heart break. This was what she wanted, this was her final wish. He could never deny her this when it was so easy for him to grant.

“Sure MC. Let’s go to Japan. Let’s go wherever you want.”

-       They travelled through sky and through the seas, experienced culture and food and yes they even made a friend or two. However there was no denying, the travel was taking its toll on her. She was fading. She was tired.

“Saeran… I want to show you where I grew up… is that okay? I’d like to go home.” “Uh yes, yes of course. We can go wherever you want.”

-       It was a beautiful town where she had grown up, she often talked about it when he was going through withdrawals or woke up from a particularly nasty nightmare. She would talk about the small city and about the children who would still play out in streets until their parents called them back home. It was idyllic, so picturesque, he had regretted not taking her up on her previous requests to go there back in the past. It was the perfect place for her to choose to die.

-       They had found themselves atop her favourite hill, under a large apple tree she once described as her first friend to him. She amused him with more stories of her childhood and how this tree had been integral to so many of her memories, from seeing her first scraped knee, to her first kiss. She told him of her memories of him and how she had pictured that if they ever did marry, it would be right here underneath its branches, their wedding date carved into the trunk to preserve their story. “….And what would happen after that?...” “…MC?...”

-       Yet another part of her life spent with the tree that only he was able to remember for her. “And then... when our first child is born we’d come back and etch their birthday beneath our wedding date… we would live a life of adventure and… you would want for nothing. We could do whatever you wanted. We could go where ever you wanted. We could do anything MC. Our story would have been… it would have been something amazing.”

V:

-       He found the lump, as so many partners did.

-       She hadn’t felt anything off and was lax in checking and… he was the one who found it. During a time they were stealing so Lucy wouldn’t be able to disturb them. They loved being parents, of course they did but sometimes… it was nice to be lovers and not just parents.

-       When he cupped her breast and squeezed and a sweet sigh came out of her mouth to wordlessly encourage him on and … nothing came… MC opened her eyes and found Jihyun with knitted in concern as he palmed her, concentration on his face born from careful curiosity and not the kind that resulted in her pleasure. “MC… is this… I don’t think this is normal.” “What?” “There’s a lump here.” “That’s not funny Jihyun.” “I’m not trying to be MC.”

-       Tests. Prodding and poking and biopsies and… options. So many discussions about options. The only option was for his wife to live, the mother of their child to live.

-       It wasn’t easy for either of them to explain to their daughter that mummy was sick but MC always managed to find the right words to say. ‘I am going to come right back and everything will be back to normal’ and ‘no honey this didn’t happen because of you’ and that ‘no matter what, your mummy loves you’.

-       The last one, that one sounded a whole lot like goodbye.

-       She didn’t stay at the hospital for as long as they thought and… the prognosis was good. They had caught it and it hadn’t spread… they just had to watch it. Mummy could keep loving Lucy for many years to come. Jihyun had time to learn how to be funny. She could come back home.

-       Seven years. Every year they would test her to make sure it hadn’t returned… it was the final year she was meant to be tested this way… she was home free.

-       Except it wasn’t a lump in her breast. It was a growth in her kidney and in her liver. Further testing proved it was in her lungs and in her bones. In her bones. It had taken root and…

-       Damn it.

-       No. It didn’t matter. She was going to fight, she was going to do everything she could to stay with her family. They hadn’t had enough time together yet and MC was no stranger to doing things the hard way.

-       The second time around explaining it to Lucy was much more difficult. She was older, she knew about the world and the pain it held for so many people. That illness could take people away from you and not just for a month tucked away in hospital… but forever. There was still the “I am going to come right back and everything will be back to normal’ and ‘no honey this didn’t happen because of you’ and that ‘no matter what, your mummy loves you’.  Although this time there was also having to answer, “Mummy… are you going to die?”

-       She couldn’t answer her, not how she wanted to.

-       “I am going to do everything in my power not to.”

-       Jihyun found himself jealous that even then, she always knew what to say.

-       The treatment was… it felt like she was dying. She didn’t know what she preferred. The first round resulted in some bloating and some fatigue, this time fighting the disease left her unable to stomach anything, the feeling of nausea never leaving her. MC could barely keep her eyes open and most of the time she spent with her family and friends was with her fast asleep. Her loved ones having to be content with accompanying her as she dreamed.

-       However throughout all of it, all the pain she endured, she knew she had Jihyun. Jihyun who juggled taking care of Lucy and helping her get to school and help with her homework and spend the rest of his day by her side. He would read to her and bring in his sketchbook to draw her when she wasn’t looking- and sometimes when she was. He would pick up their daughter and let her spend time with MC, to soak in as much quality time they could before taking her home and making sure she had dinner and went to bed before coming back to spend more time his wife, until the nurses would usher him out as he had, once again, stayed past visiting hours.

-       He was the glue keeping them altogether, he was the rock that would prop them all up- steadfast and strong. Unyielding and unnerved. He had faith that it would be alright, she was going to beat this. She had to.

-       Then one day he was told he could not visit her; that she had developed a strong infection and with her immune system so compromised… she couldn’t afford to get any sort of sickness. She couldn’t fight off a cold to literally save her life.

-       They were separated for weeks. Only the sound of her weak voice at the other end of the line to ease both him and Lucy and fell too short of what he would call a cold comfort. He knew all too well how her voice cracked when she lied… and it would always crack when she said she was feeling much better and it wouldn’t be too much longer until they were reunited.

-       When she had finally stabilised enough for him to return, the nurses had urged that it should only be him to visit and that he would need to prepare Lucy for the next time she could come along. He had only wished they had given him the same courtesy.

-       How could she have lost so much weight since the last time he saw her? How could her cheeks have fallen and her skin turn into such a sickly grey pallor that it physically hurt him to look at her- but it hurt even more to turn away. “I’m so sorry Jihyun.” “Why… why are you apologising for?” “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it back home.” “Don’t- don’t say that. Don’t say those kinds of things. You had a rough patch and you’re fighting through it. Things will get better, they will.”

-       MC smiled at him, the same pitying smile that so many of the nurses and doctors gave him as he walked the hospital halls. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”

-       Fight with me damn it. Show me that fire. You have so much to fight for.

-       The following day, even with all the preparation Jihyun had tried to give Lucy… their daughter had cried upon the first sight of her mother. MC inviting Lucy to come upon the bed for a cuddle as Jihyun slipped away into the bathroom for him to cry in one of the stalls.

-       He was the rock, their pillar of strength, their anchor. He couldn’t let them see him break down.

-       A week later he found MC awake in her bed, sitting up and writing in a book, her smile weak but true when she heard him come through the door. He placed a kiss on her temple and asked her what she was working on, her smile deepening but the words sealed behind her lips. “Can you please take a photo of me? Everyday?” “But… I don’t have my camera with me.” “Oh… well can you please draw my picture and date it each day?” “Of course.” “But not… not how I know you’re doing it. Don’t make me pretty-” “Now MC you are very pretty-” “No. Not your fake pretty where you draw my position but how I used to look like. I want you to draw me as I am. Truthfully and with no pretence.” “...Why?” “I need you to. Please. For me.” He wanted to scream. “For you, anything.”

-       So he would draw her. Her hair slowly falling away, her body shrinking away to bone all the while as she wrote. She wrote and wrote and slept and threw up and wrote and slept. While he woke up, attended to Lucy, drew MC, cried alone, drew his wife some more and came home sleep to do it all over again.

-       He was burning out. The time pretending to be strong shaving away the layers from him, cutting him down to his last threads. Something was going to give but he couldn’t afford to break down now. Lucy needed him, he was her father. MC needed her, she was his wife and she was sick… he couldn’t be selfish… he could do this. He was their rock, their pillar of strength, their anchor.

-       He was broken.

-       He hadn’t realised how much until he had received a call from Jumin. It was well past 6pm… but how could that have been… he had left MC’s side at 3pm to pick up Lucy from school. Yet there he was, in the car with the key in the ignition, engine still and cold. How did he lose more than three hours? What had happened? Did he fall asleep? Blackout? He didn’t feel rested, he didn’t think he would feel rested even after 20 years asleep. “Jihyun, where are you? What has happened to you?” “Um.. I’m at the hospital.” “MC, is she okay? Has something worse happened?” “Uh no… not that I know… what’s the matter Jumin, how can I help you?” “The matter? Nothing I guess. Lucy’s school called me as no one had come to pick her up and I’ve taken her home with me as I found no one at your house. I thought it best she stay with me in case anything had happened so I could take care of her.” “Th-thank you Jumin. Truly. That was very kind of you and I know you’re so busy lately. I’m sorry to put you out, I’ll come right away-”

“Put me out? No, not at all. I don’t spend enough time with Lucy and I was more worried that I couldn’t find you.” “Thank you Jumin.” “Is there anything I can do to help?” “N-no. It’s fine. We’re fine. Just must have fallen asleep in the car after visiting with MC.” “You’re not alone in this you know? You act as if you don’t have the means to ask for help-” “I don’t need to pay a nanny to look after my child or a maid to clean my house-” “I wasn’t talking about money. You have us. You have me. You are my best friend and I am always here for you, even if it’s as simple as looking after Lucy after school.” “…” “Or sitting with MC after work.” “That’s not necessary.” “Lucy told me she hears you crying at night.” “What?” “She told me in the car on the way back home. That she wanted to know how she could help make you happier. She said that you smile when she’s looking at you but when she goes to bed- she hears you crying. She’s a very perceptive girl Jihyun.” “Oh my god… I had… I didn’t know she could.”

“It’s okay you know.” “What do you mean?” “She also said that she felt a little better when you did… because it meant that she could too. But she didn’t like you crying alone, because she knows you’re pretending to be strong just for her and she doesn’t need that, she just wanted to know if there was something she could do to make you happier.”

-       Jihyun couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes and onto his lap. He was grateful that he seemed to be alone in the carpark so no one had to see a man wailing in his car… though he understood that given the location he was probably not the first to do so and certainly not the last.

-       He wept and allowed himself to release his anguish. For an hour, without a word spoken, Jumin let his friend cry and not once did he draw his ear away from the phone.

“Jumin… thank you.” “Anytime. Now, come back when you’re able I’ll have the cook fix you a plate and keep it warm until you’re here. We can all have dinner and you can get some rest and tomorrow, take your time with Lucy at home and I’ll keep MC company until you are able to spend time with her yourself. If you are unable to I will ask our friends to sit with MC. We can all take turns in keeping Lucy company after school too- or perhaps you would let me just buy this hospital and let them move you in and-” “Jumin. No. No thank you.” “Well. The offer is there should you wish to take it.” “You’re a good friend Jumin.” “Of course I am. Now come by, your daughter is monopolising all of Elizabeth the Third’s time and I would very much like to have my cat back.”

-       He was their rock, their pillar, their anchor. But he himself had his own rock, pillar and anchor in each of their friends. In his sweet, kind daughter.

-       MC… would never get better, would never come home. They had accepted that, silently acknowledging that this would be where she had to stay… her condition requiring care that she could not receive at their family home. So he made her room as much of a home away from home for her; filled with pictures and flowers and trinkets that made her comfortable… made him and Lucy comfortable too. It was easier to focus on the person and not the machines hooked up to her when the room smelled like home, felt like home.

-       They were quickly running out of time. She couldn’t sit up on her own, she was in and out of consciousness but still… she wrote in the book as best as she could. So Jihyun would still draw.

-       It was when he was putting the final touches of his drawing one evening before leaving to pick up Lucy from Yoosung’s apartment, that he heard it. The most horrible sound he had dreaded to hear… no more beeps… just one, long, relentless tone.

-       He didn’t get to say goodbye. He didn’t get to say he loved her or that he would look after Lucy. He was so focused on his work and watching the clock the make sure he wasn’t late that he missed her very last moment on earth. He had nodded mindlessly when someone talked to him, he wasn’t paying attention. All he heard was silence.

-       So small and a whisper of what she used to be, her could lift her with one arm though she lay heavy within it, limp and gone. Jihyun allowed his hand to trace over her skin, something she hadn’t really allowed him to do near the end. Too self-conscious of herself to let him indulge in the feeling. The texture was different but the warmth stirring in his heart was the same. This was the face of his wife, her neck, her arm.

-       He was thankful that he had the chance to draw her everyday as she had asked, because his hands would never forget the curves of her face even as they changed through the years. She had become muscle memory. Beautiful to him, in every way and every day he was blessed to spend with her. He was just filled with regret that she didn’t get to hear it from him at the end.

-       He lay her back down, tucking her back under the blankets to prepare her for when Lucy and Yoosung arrived.

-       As he moved the sheets, a book fell to the side.

-       He opened the book to find a page for each day she had been in the hospital. Starting from the first day she was admitted so many years ago when Lucy didn’t really understand what was happening and they were all still counting down the days of her return back home.

“Thank you for letting me be your Mother.” “Thank you for choosing me and Lucy every day and not letting the past dictate your future.”

“Thank you for letting Saeyoung come with some snacks, hospital food, even the fancy kind, still gets boring.”

Each day was filled with one or many things that she was thankful for. Even (especially) on her bad days. Things she was thankful for with him, with Lucy and from their friends. Jihyun flicked through to the final page, dated for that day, a simple line of scratchy writing; her beautiful script changing into plain, almost childlike text with her lack of motor coordination and strength. “Thank you, my love, for seeing past the sickness and seeing me. Every day. Always.”

-       And that’s when he understood, he finally got why she got him to draw her portrait every day. Even through all the pain and suffering, she could find good in the bad. She wanted them all to know that even through it all, she was thankful for them and that it was because of these things that she could endure it. Along with her words, his pictures were a testament of her journey and the role everyone had played in her life.

-       He would need to read a page every day for a long time, perhaps with Lucy or one of his friends- whoever needed this comfort. Knowing his daughter would only be minutes away from having to say goodbye to her mother, he opened up a random page and felt himself smile, even amidst his grief.

“Thank you all for facing the bad days with me, know that even in my sleep I knew you were there with me. Know that one way or another, I will be there with you.”

-       Then he wept with a ferocity he didn’t know he possessed because-

-       MC would always know what to say.

[maggyme13]

Sugar (16/?)

AN; I am sorry for the long delay (again) but Work was hell and still is..

I also apologize if this chapter seems out of place; i simply haven´t written in a long while for this story, so please forgive me for that and any mistakes I made as well... I might edit it later.

Warnings:  none (?)

Wordcount: around 2000

Masterlist

Sugar- Masterlist

Part 15

It was christmas eve  that you finally were allowed to leave  the hospital under the condition to be closely monitored by your friends.

“Now that you are free again, what do you want to do.”, Sam teased.

“Burger. I need some meat!”, you groaned, even with Loki´s ´Luxurious´-hospital charge, the food had been mediocre.

“If that is what you want.”, Loki hummed, trying to hold Hati back from attacking you with kisses, “The ones of the local diner are alright, I heard.”

“Yes, they really are.”

“Good, then we will go and have lunch there.”, the CEO decided.

“And then I want to go and see Ma.”, you stated with a nod.

“Of course. But I can send Thor to retrieve her and joins us for lunch.”

“Na. I will go and see her. There are things I have to discuss -things that should not be spoken of publicly.”

“Again, if that is what you wish.”, Loki breathed into your ear, “But I will join you. No arguments.”

A shiver went down your spine and you nodded, “okay.”

“Boss!”, Sam called out from ahead, “I just called the diner and reserved a table fro everyone. We have three hours before they close for Christmas.”

“Thak you Wilson. You lot heard him, hurry up your lazy asses.”, the last part was more of a laughter and everyone piled into the cars.

The diner was already filled with families and small groups of friends, when the five of you and two dogs entered.

“You must be Mr Wilson. Please follow me. There is a small table I was able to reserve for you. As you can imagine we have a lot to do today. So please except my apology for any trouble.”

“It´s alright.”, you smiled, “We came on a rather short notice. Please don´t stress yourself.”

“Thank you Miss. Please, take a seat and have a look on our menue. I will be back in a bit to take your order.”

“Thank you, Anne.”, Bucky winked, sending her away with a shy smile.

“I will take the Double Cheese with Onions, jalapenos, extra bacon, fries and Soda.”, you declared after a quick glance at the menu.

“For me it will be the ´Meatlover´s` with Fries and Soda.”, Thor exclaimed with his stomach agreeing.

“Same for me, only with potato wedges instead of fries.”, Bucky hummed.

“I am gonna eat the wings with fries.”, that was Sam.

“I think I will take the Mac´n´Cheese.”, the dark haired CEO hummed, “And some baked-apple-pie ad dessert.”

It took Anne fifteen minutes to return to your table and another five to take the order, because Hati and Skali kept begging for attention by the waitress.

“I will be back as soon as possible with your orders. Just give me a few minutes to get you your drinks.”

“Thank you Anne.”, you grinned.

-..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..-

The food was delicious and after around one hour your little group was finished.

“Here is the check, Sir.”, Anne said, “Do you want to play cash or using card?”

“Cash, if that is alright with you.”

“It is fine by me.”

“Good. This is for the food.”, Loki said, handing over some money, “And this is for your excellent service, and this for the people in the kitchen.”, another two 100 Bills landed in the girls hand, who in return was lost for words.

“Uh-uhuh. Th-Th- Thank you, Sir. But this is far too much. I – I can´t take this.”, she spluttered and you piped in.

“Yes, you can. And believe me: If you don´t take this money now, he will find a way for you to get this somehow. He doesn´t take ´no´ for an answer.”

“Uhm. This… Thank you so much, Sir. God bless you!”, she almost squealed.

“It´s fine. Have a Merry Christmas!”

She thanked him once more when she closed the door of the diner behind them.

.--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..-

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, Bucky asked one last time before turning into the parking lot of Teller-Morrows.

“Yes.”, you spoke with determination in your voice.

“Well then. We will stay at the cars, you know what to do if you need our help.”

“Rosebutt”., you nodded.

“Rosebutt.”, the security nodded back in union.

“Looks like we were already found out.”, Thor stated, nodding to the entrance of the clubhouse where multiple bikers had already gathered, including your brother and his brothers Tig and Kozik.

Stepping out of the cars, you noticed the way the biker´s tensed statures changed once they realized it was you, to a more relaxed. And most of them even left to go inside.

Anger rose in your heart with every step to took towards your brother, and being usually calm and not known for using physical force, a round of surprise noised were heard all around. You had punched your brother in the face, hurting yourself in the process, but also (hopefully) hurting him while bringing your point across.

“Fuck you Happy Lowman!”, you growled, shaking out your hand, “Fuck you and your stupid way of thinking! Damn that hurt. I hope I broke your nose.”

You did not. You were not even sure that this punch had hurt him at all, but at least he was looking down ashamed.

“You heard that? Or did your Boss tell you?”, he grumbled.

“I heard you. For real? I can understand why you did what you did. At least when I was younger. But I am sure, you could have explained everything once I was, what, maybe 18 or just before I left to study? Did you think me this stupid?”

“You ain´t stupid and don´t ever believe someone who claims you are!”, he growled with so much love in your voice you nearly laughed.

“I know I am not! But seriously? Do you know what I had to go through because I believed I was alone and did not want to pull Ma into my trouble? When I thought I had nowhere to go? When I had to live on the streets!  When I was fucking harassed my a swine of a man. When I was sure I would end up in jail? And don´t even think about going into full big-brother mode or something! You lost that right up until the point of a few days ago! But you may have it now, if you stop being an asshole from now on and more of a brother. I do not forgive you right now, but maybe I will in the future. For now I am happy to maybe start anew?”

“ I would like that.”, he nodded, “And I really am sorry. For everything.”

“Good. You do deserve a broken nose though!”, you grumbled, “Where is Ma?”

“In the clubhouse. Hasn´t spoken to me really since I send you away. Deserved that.”

“Yes you did. And before this goes further: how the heck do you know about the account? No one knows about that!”

“I have my informants. Though they never told me about what you had just told me.”, he rumbled, “If anything like that happens again, call me. And I mean it- I will ride my harley to that damn city if I must.”

“Mhm… And you-”, you pointed at your mother who had just joined the two of you,”- don´t you ever be angry or disappointed because I don´t tell you thinks. And do never argue with me if I want to buy you things or help with stuff. If I didn´t know that bafoon of a brother as well as I do, I would be more than disappointed with you not telling me all of this shit. But alas, as we all are as stubborn as they come, there is no need to argue. It was what it was and what done is is done. No need to fret over thinks that can´t be changed anymore.”

Your mother smiled, “God help me with such stubborn children.”

“And us with such a stubborn mother.”, the two of you hummed in union.

“I am sorry to interrupt this moment.”, Loki´s voice suddenly piped up, “May I suggest having some pie or other baked goods together? To celebrate this?”

“And I have just the right cake for this in the fridge. If you have a place. We have a deal, Mr Laufeyson.”, your mother exclaimed and you knew there would be no other choice now, not that you would have wanted.

“As a matter of fact, I have. I am sure your brother is aware of the address. “

“Yeah.”, the brother in question grumbled.

“Good. You go ahead. I will get myself and the cake ready and Happy will drive us there. Say 4pm?”

“My pleasure.”, Loki nodded and offered you his arm, that you happily took.

“We will take care of everything else.”, the CEO smiled his charismatic smile.

“See you later Ma, Happy.”, with these words you allowed Loki to escort you back to the cars.

-..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..-

The five of you had returned to New York two days later and were now in the middle of planning how the lot of you would celebrate  New Years Eve.

As you learned, there was usually a big Party at the Bifrost, because of that every one of the friends group was able to celebrate together while still being at work.

“Are there any rules on what to wear?”, you asked Loki one evening while cooking dinner, as he was sitting at the table looking at some designs for a new collection.

“Whatever you like. You could go naked for all I care, but then I would suggest having a private gathering with only the two of us.”, amusement and a bit of flirting was in his voice.

“Maybe after the official part. For now I just need to know if there will be others apart from us at the VIP or if there will be -others.”, you asked again, turning towards the CEO over your shoulder.

“If you are hinting at someone like Quill, then don´t worry your beautiful head of. Our Area of the VIP lounge will be private and separated from the rest. There will be no unwanted attention.”

“That´s exactly what I was hinting at.”, you poked out your tongue, “But seriously, I am representing you and whatever I do will reflect on you and your business. I don´t want to do something wrong or disappoint.”

Having stated this, you turned your attention back to the food, so you did not realized the man hat gotten up from his seat and stepped beside you.

His hands reassuringly caressing your shoulders and arms, he spoke with the warm tone you loved so much.

“No matter what you do, you can not do anything that would reflect badly on me. That is not who you are and even so, I don´t care what others think of you.”

“Maybe.”, you hummed.

“What else is troubling your mind. It is not only the question on what to wear.”, he stated, his arms snaking around your middle.

A deep sight left your chest and you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace.

“I haven´t repaid you for the other night.”, you mumbled, the slight feeling of guilt had been plaguing your mind for the last couple of days. Just as Loki himself you liked to take care of those that are important to you, and so having been brought to a release without your partner finding one had you feeling that way.

“That night was about you and what you need. Not what I need. And trust me, I have just as much enjoyed that night as you did. Just because I did not came to a release, does not mean I got nothing out of it. I got you and that is far more important than any release you could have given me. You gave me your trust.”, he hummed, his nose buried into your hair.

But still…

“Now, may I ask what is for dinner?”

“Chilli.”

Part 17

AN 2.0.

REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)

Thank you very much.

~MaggY

Taglists:

Permanent:

@jadepc​@pacifyhxlsey​ @thankyoukarenclifford​

@thankyouforanonymity​  @punkrockhufflefluff​

@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil

@marshyrebelcloud

MCU:

@yknott81​    @banner-and-bucky-are-life @forext20 @dyanlzbb​  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4 @bitchwhytho @ladyofmyst   @jilldsumner @momc95 @appreciating-fanfics

Sugar:

@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666   @fullranchwolfoperator

@cluelessnitwhit @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry

@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna @nikkipea   @alexakeyloveloki @timelordy-fangirl2 @girrafeeeeeee @emilyjane44x @randomgirlwholoveskpop @deathkat657

I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.

Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.

[the19thduckpotato]

((reposted with permission from @my-favorite-aesthetics, a little active storytelling going on in which Toshi takes Izuku to some of his favorite waterfront shops)) Izuku looked around as they entered the door of the popcorn shop, distracted by all the new sights and sounds and SMELLS, OH WOW, THE SMELLS— It made him a tiny bit dizzy with the sudden intensity of it. Toshinori waved cheerfully at the greeting calls of "oh hello, Mr. Yagi!" A plump lady with her hair wrapped up beamed and bobbed welcome.  "Just in time for the fresh batch--and who is this?" Toshi grinned.  "This is Izuku, my student.  Izuku, this is Madame Popol.  I've been talking up your skills all afternoon so you might want to break out your best flavors." Madame Popol looked delighted at that and bustled off to do just so.  Toshi took a seat at the nearby bench and breathed deep.  How he missed the scents that mingled here! After flashing a grin and small wave at Madame Popol, Izuku took a seat beside his dad, smiling up at him fondly. He looks so happy...♡ Madame Popol soon returned with a circular wooden tray carved with multiple notches.  In each notch sat a handful of popcorn, each a different shade of color.  The plump lady began to describe the flavors and Toshi made his mind wander. remember when you used to get bags full of popcorn all the time?  And Torino would bark disappoint at your snacking habits while Master would just roar laughter and steal a few kernels? "...now this one is strawberry, over here is smokey chipotle, and this one is classic white cheddar." Toshi's mouth watered a bit and he glanced about at the brightly colored bags, tied with equally bright ribbons. Then, unbidden, a sudden urge to rise up and plunge his hands into the barrels and bags of popcorn.  Sink in, elbow deep, and start wildly stuffing his face. that would be incredibly stupid. I know You'd land yourself in the hospital with a stunt like that. I know. And so Toshi busied himself with watching Izuku's reactions to the many flavors presented him. Izuku’s eyes were wide as he listened, not remembering all of the flavors in the list but making a beeline for the strawberry, picking up a kernel and popping it in his mouth. “Mm!” His eyes somehow got wider. “That’s really good!” Madame Popol winked.  "Excellent!  Sweet taste for an equally sweet boy.  Don't you worry now, Mr. Yagi, I got some of yours all prepped and ready to go." Toshi began to pull his wallet out and Madame Popol cheerfully swatted his hand. "Poppi!" "You just let me borrow this one's tastebuds for a few more flavors and we'll call it even.  ...how about cookies and cream, Izuku?  Or pickle?  Bet you never heard of that before!" Half Izuku’s face scrunched, though he kept smiling amusedly. “Bet I have!” "But have you actually tried it?" “Wwwwwwell....” Madam Popol held out the tray. Toshi leaned back on the bench and smiled, closing his eyes and breathing deep again. just one handful surely it wouldn't be that bad A really small handful, even Izuku took a piece.... His whole face scrunched up. Toshi was finding the temptation getting a bit too strong and turned to Izuku to stammer out some sort of excuse-- --saw the kid's face-- "What on earth?!" --and gave in to a helpless bout of laughter. Madame Popol beamed at both of their reactions, still keeping a knowing eye on her lanky regular.  "Isn't that marvelous?" she chirped. "I'm... not sure it's... my cup of tea." Izuku shook his head, a tiny bit of blush on his cheeks, but being honest. Really don't like pickles.... "It isn't for everyone," Madane Popol agreed, not even slightly put out.  "Now then.  As you can see, we're pretty talented here.  So I need to ask--what is one flavor you'd never expect to taste on popcorn?  And not anything too weird or wild.  I'm asking from a curious business owner standpoint." Izuku thought for a bit. "....Well I wouldn't want to eat it, but... horseradish?" Madame Popol nodded thoughtfully.  "And what about something you would eat?  Something like--" With a sudden expert motion that surprised even Toshi, she snatched a small bag from behind the counter and tossed it to the tall blond. "Mr. Yagi," she scolded fondly but firmly, "My dear, have a munch on that and please cheer up.  And you--"  she said, pointing at Izuku.  "--flavor?" Toshi looked sheepish as Madame Popol dropped a large cloth bag in his lap and began filling it with assorted flavors of popcorn. "How many kids in your class again, hun?  I'm sure our lovely Mr. Yagi will make sure these all get to them, won't he?" "Uuuuhhh...." Izuku thought more. "Really, I just like the cheddar stuff, mostly." He popped one in his mouth, smiling at the flavor. "Strawberry is good, but I could eat these about forever." Am I being too familiar? This is oddly easy. If the words are coming this easy, are they really good? Or am I just not paying enough attention.... He looked around at Toshi and Madame Popol. They do seem unoffended though... maybe it's good, maybe I'm just being funny... yes, play the clown, I can do that... be sure not to try too hard, though, no one likes that-- stOP OVER TH I NK I N G Toshi froze as the cloth bag filled up.  Was I that easy to read?  Crap.  I need to get better about that.  To stop making it so visible. He glanced at Izuku--my anchor--and grinned.  "You heard him, Madame Popol, biggest bag of cheddar you got." She pretended to look offended.  "I dont think you realize just how big the biggest bag I have is.  I daresay you'd need to bring your big self out to haul it away."  She flexed one arm and giggled. Toshi gave a gentle smile at that.  "Sounds like a challenge," he returned, a little less enthusiastic than he had meant to sound. Izuku covered his face and squeaked happily at that. "I didn't mean FOREVER forever!" Oh noooooo, that's too much! I can't let him buy that for me... but I can't STOP him! He grinned widely, though not missing Toshi's tone of voice. He didn't quite know what to make of it, though, so he filed the fact away while keeping it in reach. Madame Popol wedged one last portion of popcorn (bacon jalapeno) into the cloth bag and tutted at Toshi's protests.  "Now now, I dont expect you boys to carry any of these around all day.  You look like you have other places you want to visit.  I'll just have these sent to your office, Mr. Yagi, darlin." Toshi shifted for his wallet again and she cheerfully hmphed.  "This man," she sighed in frustrated adoration, "he doesn't even eat yet like I ask and yet still tries to pay before services rendered." "Poppi--" "Shoo with you now!  Out of my shop, no, out, I'll send you the bill later.  Izuku please, one moment."  She beckoned to the boy while still shooing Toshi out. "--?" Izuku looked between Madame Popol and the currently-leaving Toshi nervously. He could feel his muscles tensing at the idea of staying behind alone, but... his gaze settled on her. She produced a pocket sized bag of strawberry popcorn and pressed it into his hands.  "Whatever you're doing, keep it up.  This may sound odd but...you're very good for him."  She sighed softly and gazed about her shop.  "Would that I could show him my appreciation for all that he's done with more than just popcorn but that's what the heavens saw fit.  So that will be as I keep doing.  But you--" Her eyes twinkled knowingly.  "--you've been blessed with the ability to bring his smile out."  She looked like she wanted to say more, then shook her head and waddled back to the counter.  "Come back anytime, lovey.  There will always be a bag of your favorite waiting here for you." Izuku gazed up at her as she spoke, completely understanding what it feels like to want to support someone you're grateful to but... not being able to. He smiled down at the bag of strawberry popcorn in his hands, glad he had met this Very Warm Person. "Thank you," he said softly. She gently tweaked one of his freckled cheeks.  "No no," she replied.  "thank you."   Then, returning to form, she cheerfully flapped her apron at him.  "Get on, now!  That man has long legs and could be halfway to Kyoto by now.  Go catch up!" He squeaked and ducked at the tweak, and hurried obediently after Toshi out the door......... ---------- yknow, for a one off character, I adore Madame Popol --pretty sure she was half inspired by Madame Pomphrey by name and half by Professor Sprout.  gonna see if I can doodle her up later.

[skinsharpenedteeth]

Truth or Dare - Halloween fic

Hey there! Here’s a Kinktober prompt fill and the prequel to a College AU 5+1 I’m planning. I guess it’s a little unkind to Maria? I don’t know. I don’t hate Maria, but I could live without her character. No body is dating anyone in this, so it’s not that kind of Maria unkind. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it! Definite smut after the cut. 

Kinktober prompts filled: Nipples/petting, Costumes, Getting Caught, Body Modification Words Count: 7.5k AO3

               It was nearly midnight on Halloween and Alex was *over* frat/sorority mating rituals. The first half of the party had been drunker-by-the-minute sorority girls offering to help him experiment with his sexuality in case he ‘wasn’t sure’ that he was really, really gay and the second half had been bro’s approaching him after their girls had whispered about him to test if he was really, really gay. Once the herd had been assured he was super duper gay and not willing to perform party tricks to prove it, he’d been left blissfully alone. Well, sort of blissfully. Alex was bored out of his skull. He’d been leaning against a hallway wall for the better half of an hour sipping rum and coke and people watching.

Maria had drug him here under the false pretense of introducing him to someone from her Algebra class only to have them mysteriously not show up. Now she was holed up in a corner dressed like a vintage playboy bunny and talking to some curly haired dude bro dressed as a caveman while Alex drank alone and stared lasers through them. He could be working on homework or picking up a shift at the 24/7 diner right now…or sleeping! The dude bro would catch his eye every so often and give him frank, curious up-and-downs, until finally he seemed to say something to Maria about it because she turned and looked at Alex, rolling her eyes. Oh, hell no. A few minutes more of close conversation between them and with a put-upon sigh, Alex watched Maria make her way over to him.

              “You’re being creepy,” she announced, sipping her drink casually as she mirrored his position and leaned against the wall to face him. Alex rolled his eyes and proceeded to scowl at her.

              “Well, it is a Halloween party,” he deflected, sipping his own drink and cringing inwardly at the idea that Curly Caveman might think he was a Creepy Gay.

              “Yeah, but you’re a pirate on the look out for some booty, not a ghoul. Go find someone to talk to or to not talk to. I should have this,” she indicated Curly Caveman with a backward jerk of her head, “finished within an hour or two and then we can go back to the dorm.”

              Curly Caveman was walking over to them and Alex tried to ignore how little the animal print loin cloth covered of him. Alex tried not to memorize every inch of him, but his brain was not cooperating. Maria, while being self-centered and completely unreliable, had excellent taste in boy toys. Curly Caveman slid up next to them and eyed them both with a cautious smile. He turned to Alex and gave his costume a good once over.

              “Dread Pirate Roberts?” Curly asked, smiling appreciatively.

              “At your service,” Alex flirted. He couldn’t help it. Technically Maria had called dibs, but she could literally fuck anyone at this garbage fire of a party and he wanted to have a little fun too.

              “Alex, this is Michael. He belongs to Alpha Alpha Beta. We have Composition together. Michael, this is Alex, my best friend since junior high,” Maria introduced them. They did the head nod acknowledgment thing at each other and then awkward silence descended on the group.

             “Hey, why don’t we go upstairs? Michael has a room here. Maybe we could play a game or something? It’s just so loud down here and I’d love to be able to get to know you better” Maria suggested, a mischievous glint in her eye as trailed a finger down Curly’s naked torso. Curly Caveman—Michael‐‐ looked consideringly at the crowd around them and nodded.

             “Lead the way,” Alex commanded, waving them towards the stairs across the room.  He thought he saw Michael look between himself and Maria and take a bolstering inhalation before turning and starting for the stairs. Alex had an excellent view of his ass and thighs as he started climbing the stairs ahead of him. What he could do with those wrapped around his waist….

             “Ow!” Alex exclaimed after a sharp elbow found a soft spot on his ribs. He looked sharply at Maria who was glaring at him.

             “I see that look in your eye! He’s mine, Alex. He’s obviously straight. We’re going to drink a little, play a game or something and then you’re going to excuse yourself for twenty minutes so I can get to know him better alone. Deal?” Maria whispered insistently.  Alex gave her a sharp look in return.

             “Maybe. Maybe you should excuse yourself in twenty minutes and I’ll get to know him better. You owe me for dragging me to this God forsaken hetero garbage fire so if you’re not laid in the next half hour, you’re taking me back to the dorm and then you can come back or whatever on your own. Tonight was not cool of you,” Alex retorted. They’d stopped at the top of the stairs and now Michael was at the end of the hall standing in front of an open doorway watching at them curiously.

             “Like you would’ve done anything else with your night, Mr. Responsible. You’re twenty and in college, this is what you’re supposed to do with your weekends in case you forgot!” Maria whisper yelled at him even as she smiled charmingly at Michael down the hallway.

             “You guys still want to hang up here?” he asked, looking uncertainly between them. Alex watched Maria put back on her flirty girl face and saunter over to him. Alex rolled his eyes as he saw the extra hip she put in her walk as she approached Michael’s room. He wanted to cut her bunny tail off and stuff it down her throat for putting him through this. Sighing, he followed and nearly jumped out of his skin as Michael put a hand on his lower back to help usher him into the bedroom. He caught Michael’s eye over his shoulder and nearly died at the shy little smile and wink he gave him.

             “Come on in, darlin’. Hope the floor is okay? My roommate is pretty territorial about his bed and stuff,” Michael explained, not breaking eye contact with Alex for a long moment before turning back to Maria. Well, well, well…

             They gathered in a circle on the carpet with their drinks. Alex reached up and pulled off his mask and head scarf, throwing it next to himself before taking a long swig of his drink. Then he went ahead and took off his leather gloves. Michael was watching him from across the circle and he pointed to his boots in clear question on if it’d be okay for him to take them off. Alex figured he might as well get comfortable. The rum and coke, though barely making him feel floaty and buzzed, had definitely made him feel hot in the close confines of the party downstairs and he was enjoying being able to shed some of his costume to help cool down.

             “You guys want to play truth or dare?” Maria suggested, sitting on her hip with her body angled so if Michael wanted, he could get a very thorough view of her cleavage in the costume. Michael looked at her and smiled, glancing over her and then back to Alex. Alex swallowed at the heat in his eyes, but he wasn’t sure yet if it was for Maria or for him that the heat was there. The bedroom was lit only by a weak lamp on top of a desk by the window. It smelled like sweat and old laundry and cheap detergent…and rain. Not like mildew or wet cloth, but the smell of the air minutes before a deluge started. Alex took a deep breath and hummed an easy agreement to Maria’s plan, noting that Michael had waited on him before doing the same.

             “So Michael….truth or dare?” Maria started, smiling and fluttering her eyelashes. Michael smiled and his eyelids lowered as he flirted back.

             “Truth,” Michael answered, glancing between the two of them. Alex smirked back at him for his answer and Maria looked slightly disappointed but shrugged it off.

             “Okay. I’ll start off easy. How old were you when you lost your virginity?” she asked, sipping her drink and looking at him thoughtfully. He looked a little taken aback at the question and Alex jumped in quickly to save him.

             “Wait, what are the rules? If we refuse a dare or truth or whatever, what are the consequences?” Alex interjected before Michael could answer.  That stalled them for a moment and Michael gave him a grateful look as he took a nervous sip from his red Solo cup.  

             “Hm… How about if you refuse to answer a truth you have to do a shot? If you refuse a dare, you have to take off a piece of clothing?” Maria suggested, looking at Michael like a shark stalking a fish. Michael laughed and looked down at himself.

             “I guess I better not refuse any dares for awhile then,” Michael replied with a smirk.  She seemed to take that as a challenge and Alex groaned inwardly. Michael obviously didn’t know Maria very well if he thought she’d let him get away with that.  

             “So then… do we have anything with which to do shots?” Alex asked, looking around the room as if a bottle of liquor was just sitting conveniently on a shelf ready to go.

             “Uh…” Michael stuttered for a second, looking blank before reaching under his bed and pulling out a mostly empty bottle of jalapeno vodka and looking sheepish as he offered it to them.

             “Uhm, no. No, no, no. My mom owns a bar and absolutely not,” Maria said, waving her arms and shaking her head for emphasis.

             “It’s not that bad,” Michael protested, laughing at her.

             “Yeah, I’d be happy to drink it and I don’t plan on backing down from a challenge. If you don’t like it, you could go grab something from downstairs?” Alex suggested, trying to look innocently over at her while also thinking about having Michael to himself for a few minutes.

             “Ugh, fine. We’ll finish this off and then maybe get something else,” she conceded, grabbing the bottle and putting it in the middle of their circle. “So Michael, as you were saying….”

             “Uh, what was the question again?” he asked, leaning back onto his hands and looking much more relaxed than earlier. He wasn’t a super hairy guy, but Alex wanted to run his fingers through the dark hair on his chest and stomach. Leaning back put his body at a very good angle for ogling.

              “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Maria prompted, looking expectant.

              “13,” he answered shortly, not seeming to want to elaborate. Alex wondered what the story was there.

              “Very precocious,” Maria commented, smirking and looking over Michael’s body lasciviously. He gave her a somewhat brittle smile in return.

              “Okay. Alex,” Michael said, switching his attention from Maria’s eye-fucking stare to look at Alex directly. Alex hummed in acknowledgement and set down his drink. “Truth or dare?”

              “I dare you to French kiss Maria.”

              “Gross,” Alex replied tonelessly to which Maria let out an indignant yelp. “Sorry, Maria. I love you, but I’ve got a lot of clothes to go before I have to start giving in to stuff I don’t want to do.”

              Alex immediately lifted his black, blousy pirate shirt up and off his body, tossing it next to him where he’d thrown his mask, head kerchief, and gloves. Michael was watching him, an appreciative grin on his face as he looked over Alex’s bare torso. Alex wasn’t as buff as Michael, but he’d spent too long living in a military household and competing on the swim team to be considered scrawny,so he knew he didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about.

              “Oh wow, you have your nipples pierced?” Michael exclaimed, leaning forward on his hands and knees so he could look closer at Alex’s chest. Alex grinned knowingly over at Maria as he leaned forward and stuck out his chest to let Michael look at the silver bar bells through his nipples. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, mouthing the words “he’s straight!” at him over Michael’s shoulder. Alex mouthed a sardonic “O-K” at her before turning his attention back at Michael whose hand was hovering inches from his chest.

              “Can I touch one?” Michael asked, a little breathless and obviously fascinated. He hadn’t seemed to notice the silent conversation Alex and Maria had conducted over his head.

              “Sure, you can,” Alex all but purred. Michael pressed his hand to Alex’s chest, the space between his thumb and forefinger framing one of Alex’s nipples. Slowly, he slid his thumb under the bar, not quite touching it, but gauging Alex’s reaction. Alex bit his lip, holding it between his teeth as he stared at Michael’s inspection of his body modification. Then he was pulling his fingers together, pinching the end of the bar and pulling the bar gently away from Alex’s body. Alex sucked in a breath, but held down any other sound, teeth pressing harder into the soft flesh of his bottom lip. Michael let the bar go and fall back against Alex’s chest before dragging his thumb down over the center of his nipple. Alex had to shift at that because this was starting to feel way too good to stay innocent.

              “Wow, are your nipples like super sensitive now or were they always sensitive?” Michael asked, looking up at him through his eyelashes. His thumb was still sweeping over Alex’s nipple and it was driving him a little bit insane. Michael definitely knew the effect he was having on Alex.

              “They, uh… they’re actually a little less sensitive now, but they’re still pretty sensitive in general,” Alex breathed, trying to keep from pushing into Michael’s touch with Maria staring daggers at him.  

              “Yeah, when Alex was in junior high his nips were so pointy. You’d always see them through his shirts and it became a thing that people would tweak his nipples in the halls between class. He would get so embarrassed,” Maria offered, obviously feeling ignored and malicious. Alex turned to her with a controlled blank expression and blinked at her, completely embarrassed she’d bring up that little bit of his personal history to someone he’d just met. He knew he was blushing but refused to acknowledge it and give her the satisfaction.

              “That must’ve sucked. I was fat in junior high. Kids that age are the fucking worst,” Michael offered, sitting back on his side of the circle, also blushing slightly. He gave Alex a small smile of understanding and Alex melted a little bit inside.

              “I did fine in junior high,” Maria replied, sipping her drink. Alex felt a flash of anger roll through him at her comment and decided it might be time to get a little petty. She had done ‘fine’ her whole life.

              “Truth or dare, Maria,” he asked, noting that his voice was a little tight.

              “Dare,” she replied, smiling like she knew he was going to try and embarrass her back if she chose truth.

              “I dare you to lick every doorknob out in the hallway. Every. Single. One,” he dared, watching her face scrunch up in disgust.

              “Ugh, gross,” she replied, looking over her shoulder at the doorway and considering it.

              “Feeling chicken?” Alex taunted, watching her over his drink which was starting to run a little low. He knew Maria couldn’t stand backing down to a challenge like that.

              “No! Fuck you. Michael, do you have mouthwash?” she asked even as she stood up, adjusting her bodysuit. Michael laughed and nodded before getting up himself. Alex followed after Michael offered him a hand and helped pull him up from the ground. They followed her to the doorway to watch her complete the dare. She stomped across the hall in her ridiculous black heals and immediately bent over to lick the doorknob. She shrieked in disgust and then went down to the next one. There were seven doors on one side of the house and six on the other. Alex felt Michael rumbling chuckle behind him as he pressed part of his chest against Alex’s back while they hung out the doorway watching. Alex felt a tentative hand press against his lower back and when he didn’t startle or remove it, he felt Michael’s hand smooth over to his hip and then up until his nimble fingers sedately started playing with his nipple piercing.

              “You’re playing with fire,” Alex warned him in a low voice that wouldn’t carry to Maria who was about halfway done with the doorknobs.

              “Am I?” Michael responded; lips close enough to Alex’s ear for him to feel the slight heat of his breath. “Maybe I like it hot?”

              Alex turned and gave him an accessing look, trying to figure out if he was serious or just being a cock tease. He decided to test the idea a little further and shifted his hip minutely, rubbing the swell of his ass over Michael’s loin cloth covered crotch.

              “Want me help your make the bed rock, Flintstone?” Alex ask coquettishly. Michael snorted, but let his hand drift to rest on Alex’s large leather belt.

              “Looting for some booty, Pirate?” Michael responded, bouncing his crotch off Alex’s ass playfully. Alex groaned at the joke but couldn’t deny that his stomach was tightening in response to their flirtations.

              “That was terrible,” Alex laughed softly, looking over his shoulder affectionately at Michael’s grinning face.

              “What was terrible?” Maria asked breathlessly as she tottered over to them from the last door to Michael’s. She looked a little unsteady after running around and bending over every few feet, but still cheerful.

              “We’re exchanging puns,” Alex explained blandly, even as he felt Michael’s hand drop away from him and his body shift to let Maria back into the room. Alex tried not to feel so disappointed at the loss of contact, but he knew it was necessary. That thought didn’t calm his racing heart though. Alex sucked in a breath and straightened his spine before he turned back to the room. He could see Maria in the rooms Jack and Jill en suite bathroom already swishing mouthwash like her life depended on it. Thinking about the habits of frat dudes, Alex surmised it just might.

              “We still playing or what?” he called from the door, shutting it behind him as he made his way back into the room. Maria held up a finger and spat the blue liquid from her mouth into the sink before coming back into the room and immediately picking up the jalapeno vodka and taking a large mouthful of it. Alex and Michael watched her with twin looks of impressed shock on their faces.

              “That was by far the grossest shit I’ve ever done, but no one can say I’m a bitch that doesn’t follow the fuck through,” Maria announced after she’d swallowed the vodka. She took another long pull before recapping the bottle with an expansive sigh of relief. She looked down at the bottle in her hand for a moment before looking back at Alex and Michael. “This shit really is pretty good.”

              “I told you!” Michael exclaimed, excited someone else agreed with him about the alcohol.

              “You guys are nuts,” Alex said laughing.

              “Alright, alright, alright. Settle in, let’s keep this going,” Maria announced, relatively elegantly slipping down into a cross legged sitting position on the floor while still holding the bottle in one hand. Michael and Alex followed suit and when they were settled Maria turned back to Alex.

              “Truth or motherfucking dare, Alexo,” she challenged, eyes squinting menacingly. Alex wasn’t falling for it.

              “Dare,” he chose, sitting back on his hands and watching her unfazed.

              “I dare you to finish this bottle,” she announced, shaking the jalapeno vodka at him. He eyed it warily but judged that it maybe had a double shot worth of liquor left.

              “Sure, hand it over. Does that mean you’re going to go get us another bottle of something else to finish the game with?” he asked, taking the bottle from her offered hand.

              “Sure, but I have to see you drink that first,” she said, narrowing her eyes. She knew he hated the taste of jalapenos. He liked other peppers just fine, but jalapenos made his lips curl.

              “Fine,” he agreed, unscrewing the top. He tilted his head back with the bottle and opened his throat, letting the liquid just slide down into him, barely touching his tongue before he was swallowing it. It was over in a second and he grimaced as he set down the bottle.

              “Yuck. You guys are lying liars. That shit is disgusting,” he remarked, looking around for the trashcan. Maria was giggling at his discomfort, but Michael was staring at him with eyes a little wider and pupils a little bigger than they had been a moment ago.

              “Your face is the best! Jesus, that was worth it,” Maria crowed next to Michael, laying her hand on his thigh in an ‘innocent’ attempt to steady herself after her fit of laughter. Michael grinned and laughed a little too, but his eyes didn’t leave Alex’s.

              “Okay. I’ll go grab some booze. Don’t get bored without me,” she commanded, standing up and wiggling her hips at Michael as she sashayed out of the room. The door shut behind her and left Alex and Michael in relative silence.

              “Michael, truth or dare,” Alex said quietly as soon as he was sure Maria wasn’t going to come right back. Michael stared at him with heat and knowing in his eyes, a smirk perking the corners of his mouth up.

              “Dare,” he challenged, still smirking.

              “Hm… I dare you to piss on your suitemate’s bed,” Alex dared, not really expecting Michael to do it. Michael full on smiled at him before standing up and taking a step closer to Alex. He ran his thumbs under the waist band on his loin cloth before pushing them down past his hips and letting them fall to his feet, leaving him gloriously nude and only a foot away rom Alex’s watering mouth. Alex looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and a small, knowing smile on his face.  

              “I don’t have a death wish,” Michael answered, cocky grin still in place. Alex shifted to his knees in front of him, his hands landing on Michael’s thighs and rubbing up and down them as he stared up at Michael with blatant hunger in his eyes. Michael was half hard in front of him and getting harder. Alex was really hoping he was about to become a notch on this guy’s bedpost.

              “Are you just fucking with me?” Alex asked softly when Michael grasped himself and started stroking his cock slowly right in front of Alex’s face. Alex almost went cross-eyed trying to watch his hand smoothing up and down over his thickening shaft.

              “What do you mean?” Michael asked, hand slowing as he looked down at Alex seriously.

              “This isn’t your gay experiment is it?” Did Alex really care if it was, he wondered? The way his pants were beginning to feel uncomfortably tight and the fact that he’d been unconsciously leaning closer to Michael’s naked body said ‘no’, but he wanted to know exactly what he was getting in to.

              “Hell no. I’m bisexual. Practicing bisexual. Experienced bisexual. I know what I want,” he finished, reaching out his unoccupied hand and curling his fingers under Alex’s chin. “Which is definitely you if you’re up for it.”

              “I’m up for it,” Alex agreed quickly, shuffling closer on his knees and shooing Michael’s hand away from his dick so Alex could grasp it, angling it towards his mouth where he immediately gave the underside of the shaft a long, thorough lick with his tongue before closing his lips around the head and sucking. He swirled his tongue around the crown, a full-body throb going through him at how turned on he was to be doing this.

              “Oh shit,” Michael groaning, hand immediately resting on Alex’s shoulder for balance. Alex hummed and set to work with his tongue and lips, trying every trick he knew in an effort to drive Michael up the fucking wall. He pushed himself, relaxing his throat and taking Michael in deep over and over again as he stroked and gently tugged at his balls. He let his hand creep further back, massaging Michael’s perineum, before stroking a dry, questioning finger over his asshole. The noise Michael made was shockingly desperate and his hips jerked forward choking Alex for a moment.

              “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Michael apologized above him as Alex came off him coughing and wiping at his eyes.

              “It’s fine. I surprised you. Have you ever…?” Alex asked, petting Michael’s hole gently while his other hand slowly stroked him, Alex’s spit smoothing the way.

              “Fuck, yes. Have you?” Michael asked, pushing back lightly against the pressure of Alex’s fingers.

              “Only a couple times…. Do you want to?” Alex asked, feeling a little shy at the question. Michael nodded enthusiastically and backed away, walking over to his bedside table and opening the top drawer. He pulled out a condom and some lube which he tossed on his bed before turning back to Alex with a grin.

              “Well, get up here!” he said, and Alex realized he’d been frozen in shock. This was not how he expected this night to turn out. Michael’s utter confidence and enthusiasm towards being fucked was… surprising. Hastily he stood up and approached Michael by the bed.

              “I know this is a little backwards, but…” Michael started before cradling Alex’s head in his hands and rushing forward to kiss him. Alex responded immediately and with enthusiasm. He opened his mouth and almost swooned as he felt Michael’s tongue sweep over his, inviting him to respond. He did, following Michael’s lead, and his hands started wandering over the expanse of Michael’s skin at his disposal. He found himself trying to pull Michael closer, over and over, hands on his waist, his back, his ass, just trying to keep him close. Michael, for his part, was trying to get Alex’s belt and pants off, but Alex’s insistence on keeping them pressed together kept hampering his progress. Finally, Michael had to break their kiss to talk.

              “If you don’t let me get your pants off, this isn’t going to end the way we want it to,” he said, breathlessly as Alex’s mouth simply moved from his mouth to his neck and was biting and sucking the flesh there. Alex came back to himself, nodding wordlessly and bringing his hips back far enough for Michael to finish the job of getting him naked. His mouth, however, he couldn’t convince to leave Michael’s skin. He felt his waist band loosen and the fabric of his pants and underwear drop to the ground. He kicked the offending garments backwards, not paying attention to where. Then Michael’s hands were sliding against his skin and pulling him back against his body.

              “Fuck, you’re distracting,” Michael commented as he backed up until he could sit on the edge of the bed. Alex planted a knee on the mattress to follow him but was stopped by Michael’s tongue smoothing over a nipple and quickly being covered by his mouth. He hissed in pleasure and pushed his hand into Michael’s curls, cradling the back of his head and holding him steady. Michael hummed in pleasure and palmed Alex’s ass as he teased the tightened flesh.

              “Bite it,” Alex gasped out, watching Michael’s mouth work on him. Michael met his eyes through his eye lashes and Alex saw the flash of white as his teeth grasped the flesh and pulled, letting the skin scrape achingly slowly as it was released. Alex cursed and his cock, which had been mostly ignored, gave a desperate throb at the pleasure-pain mix. Michael, spurred on by Alex’s reaction, immediately switched to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment. Alex grabbed himself and found he was leaking precome already from the attention. He smeared the sticky fluid around the head of his cock and stroked downward as Michael kept sucking and biting at his chest, making his nips puffy and swollen against his skin. He felt himself getting embarrassingly close to coming from just the feeling of Michael’s mouth on him.

              “We gotta stop, fuck,” Alex said desperately, tightening his hand in Michael’s hair but not pulling. Michael stopped and looked up at him, confused. “No, not all of it. But I’m going to come if you keep doing that and we didn’t get that lube out for nothing.”

              “You were about to come from just me playing with your nipples?” Michael asked in awe, looking like he’d like nothing but to dive back in and see that scenario play out.

              “Yes, you’re very, very good with your mouth,” Alex huffed out the compliment with a laugh as he put his hands on Michael’s shoulders and pushed him playfully to lay back on the bed. Michael pulled himself back until he was laying on the mattress and beckoned Alex to follow him, spreading his legs immediately to allow Alex in between them. Alex leaned down to kiss him, hands smoothing down the sides of Michael’s ribs and waist, just enjoying touching him for a minute. When he came up for air, he reached over and grabbed the lube from beside Michael’s pillow. “You still sure?”

              “Yes, fuck yes. Please and thank you,” Michael said with a grin. He flipped over and grabbed his pillow, jamming it under his hips before spreading his legs wider for Alex.

              “Jesus, yes you are,” Alex mumbled to himself, turned on at how into this Michael seemed to be. He grabbed the condom and rolled it on before slicking up his fingers. He started slowly by rubbing small circles around Michael’s hole to spread the lube. He leaned forward and trailed kisses over Michael’s shoulder and back. He pressed inward with a finger and then backed off, trying to slowly work him open.

              “Dude, I fingered myself in the shower like three hours ago. You can move a little faster than that,” Michael said over his shoulder. Alex’s brain stalled out on the image of Michael in the shower, wet and soapy with three fingers up his ass and his hand on his cock.

              “Jesus,” Alex whispered, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Michael’s shoulder blade. He pushed a little harder with his finger and found that it did sink in quite easily. Michael gave out a soft moan at the feeling and Alex decided to press his luck. He withdrew his finger and came back with two, still pushing in easily but not so easily he wouldn’t need to stretch Michael a little more. “You can’t be real.”

              Alex pumped his fingers in and out of Michael, scissoring them and twisting his wrist slowly. He withdrew and added lube before starting to press back in with three. He took this more slowly and Michael seemed to appreciate it. He was moaning more loudly, his body pushing back against the pressure of Alex’s fingers, the muscles in his back flexing and relaxing as he tried to chase his own pleasure against the pillow beneath him.

              “You ready for me?” Alex asked after a particularly loud groan from Michael. Alex hoped so, he was still on edge from Michael’s mouth on his nipples and now the absolutely pornographic sound of Michael’s vocalizations as Alex pumped his fingers in and out of him.

              “Yes! Get in me!” Michael directed, sounding almost frantic. Alex chuckled a little and withdrew his fingers before he shuffled his body forward on the bed. He positioned himself, rubbing the head of his cock through the mess of lube at Michael’s hole, before beginning the push inward. He took it slow, pushing in and retreating several times before he was able to press his hips flush against Michael’s cheeks. Alex let out a heavy breath, panting slightly as he tried to get through the initial bliss of being so tightly wrapped in another person. He leaned forward and settled his weight on his hands to either side of Michael’s ribs. Before he could ask if Michael was ready, Michael took the lead from him and started shifting his weight below him. After the first couple of times, his movements became surer and Alex found himself watching as he started to fuck himself back on Alex’s cock in precise, fluid movements. When he squeezed his rim as he pulled away, Alex let out a gasp and one of his hands went to Michael’s hip to steady himself.

              “You’re just going to do all the work down there?” Alex asked breathlessly as he let Michael continue to work himself back and forth on Alex’s cock. Alex was utterly turned on by how desperate Michael seemed to get fucked, how ready he was to take what he wanted, and how fucking hot he looked doing it.

              “You didn’t seem like you were going to get to it, so I thought I’d start without you,” Michael teased through a pleasure filled groan. Alex bent down and bit his shoulder lightly, making him moan again at the sharp feeling.

              “Then I guess I’ll have to start doing my fair share,” he responded before drawing back onto his knees and grabbing Michael’s hips to pull him up as well. He started thrusting in a counter rhythm to Michael’s backward pushes, making their skin slap together loudly as he was buried over and over as deeply as possible. Michael was swearing softly under his breath, his hand under him working his cock to the feeling of Alex filling him so completely, his cock pushing over Michael’s prostate and winding him up.  

              “You feel so fucking good, Michael,” Alex groaned as he tried to stop himself from just rabbitting into the man below him. His body was a hot velvet clutch around Alex’s and he found himself getting lost in the heady feeling of it.

              “Fuck, you’re ruining me,” Michael moaned beneath him sounding impossibly turned on and needy. Alex privately agreed that Michael was ruining him also. They were getting close, moaning getting louder and more frantic as their bodies chased each other’s movements. Michael was back on his stomach with Alex’s gripping his shoulder as he made sharp, pointed thrusts that had Michael white knuckling the sheets in ecstasy. The door suddenly banged open and startled both of them into freezing, bodies pressed tightly together as they looked to see who had broken in.

              Maria was standing in the doorway with a bottle of rum and a mutinous expression on her pretty face. They stared at each for a long moment, Alex trying his damnedest not to move, but feeling like he’d probably start fucking Michael again soon if they didn’t end this stand-off. The feeling of Michael around him was almost too good to waste in a pointless conversation.

              “Goddamnit, Alex,” Maria started, walking further into the room and slamming the bottle onto the desk at the end of Michael’s bed. “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!”

              “Again?” Alex asked, wracking his brain, trying to remember to what she was referring. He was feeling a little dumb since most of the blood in his body was not centered in his upper half.

              “Again?!” Michael asked incredulously, looking over his shoulder towards Alex and then back at Maria. The movement shifted him away and back onto Alex’s dick. It was only an inch, but it made Alex’s stomach muscle clench in an effort to stay still. He squeezed Michael’s shoulder in warning, earning him a small squeeze of Michael’s rim in retaliation.

              “You remember Valenti?” Maria asked, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for his response.

              “Kyle was going through an experimental phase. I was helping a bro out. Besides, you had no claim on him!” Alex defended himself, a little affronted she would bring up something so far back in their history now.  That had been freshman year of high school and it was just a kiss.

              “You knew I had a crush on him!” Maria exclaimed, stamping her foot angrily.

              “Still not a claim. Besides, you ended up dating him like two weeks later and you thought he was boring! It’s not like you lost out in the long run,” Alex pointed out. Michael cleared his throat below him, the tightening of his abs doing wonderful things to the parts of him surrounding Alex.

              “While this is fascinating and I would love to explore your competitive hooking up history, I would like to point out that Alex is actually inside my body right now. Right this minute he is deep, deep within me. And as much as I’m enjoying the feeling of being high cock warmer, I’d also like to come sometime tonight, so…. Can we finish this in like ten or fifteen minutes?” Michael asked, seeming a little blasé about having Maria stare at them while they were connected and in such a compromising position. With less alcohol or maybe if it had been someone else, Alex was sure he’d be dying of embarrassment and probably be in the bathroom trying to figure out an escape route, but he couldn’t fathom pulling out of Michael at that moment just to save a little face.

              “More like twenty. Someone here took my head out of the game. It’s almost like I’m going to have to start over,” Alex joked, pushing his hips forward a little and earning himself a grunt and playful slap on the thigh from Michael.

              “Not til she’s gone,” he teased back, looking oddly soft as he stuck his tongue out at Alex over his shoulder.

              “Ugh, guys are the fucking worst. Alex, you’re the fucking worst. We’ll have words about this later and you can find another ride back to the dorms!” she yelled, grabbing the bottle of rum and storming out the door, furious that they’d started to ignore her.

              After the door slammed shut there was silence.

              “Well, that was awkward,” Alex commented. Michael pulled forward and off his dick, getting to his knees and turning around to face him. Alex held his breath waiting for his response. Was it too much? Had Michael decided the exchange was too awkward for them to keep going? God, Alex prayed not.

              “She’s the one who took forever getting the rum. She could’ve joined in if she’d gotten here earlier,” Michael joked, wrapping his arms around Alex and beginning to kiss his neck and jaw.

              “Gross. You may be bi, but I am super gay. I love her, but no. So much no,” Alex commented even as he tilted his head back to give Michael’s mouth more access on him.

              “So much no?” Michael asked, biting at the prominent cord in his neck and letting one of his hands pinch and tug at one of Alex’s nipples.

              “Fuck, yes. Yes to this,” Alex breathed, moaning and wrapping his arms around Michael, hand immediately going behind him to play with his stretched, slick hole. “But so much no to her.”

              “Lay back for me, then and we’ll get back to where we were. I don’t stop for pedestrians,” Michael whispered against his skin as he pushed Alex’s hands away from him. Alex laid back on the bed and Michael straddled him immediately. He reached behind himself to hold Alex’s cock and line it up with his hole before lowering himself down.

              “Fuck, you feel so fucking good. Your cock is perfect,” Michael moaned, tilting his hips in a shallow grind against Alex. Alex whined at how good it felt, his hips rocking up in counter point to Michael’s. Michael’s hands came to rest on his chest, catching Alex’s attention before he said breathlessly, “Hold on, darlin’.”

              Michael lifted his body and started a brutal pace with his hips. Alex almost couldn’t keep up, but he bent his knees to plant his feet so he could thrust up as best he could. He did hold on, his hands going to Michael’s hips and he bounced on Alex’s cock, his hand jacking himself over Alex with abandon. He looked so good chasing his own pleasure. He looked confident and lost in the sensations he was experiencing and Alex was mesmerized by the sight of it.

              “Fuck, just like that. I’m going come,” Michael bit out, a high pitched whine pushed out of him as his cock started to spurt onto Alex’s chest and stomach, his ass clenching over Alex’s cock and wrenching an orgasm out of him at the same time. That had never happened to Alex before and it was almost too much for him.

              When it was over, they collapsed against each other, breath heaving from their chests, bodies sweat soaked and sticky, ebbs of euphoria flowing through their muscles. Michael reached down while Alex was still recovering and, holding the condom, slipped his body off of Alex’s so he could lay down on the bed next to him, shoulders overlapping in the small twin.

              “We should do that again,” Michael commented once he’d gotten his breath back. The tingling feeling that had taken over Alex’s body made him feel come drunk and dopey.

              “Tonight?” Alex asked, wondering if he had the strength to have that good of sex for a second time in 24 hours. Weren’t there universal laws about that much pleasure in so short a time?

              “Well, sure. But like, some other time too. Maybe after dinner or a movie or something,” Michael suggested. Alex felt his body go cold. He didn’t date. He was too fucking busy to date. He was working every possible odd job on campus to pay for school since his dad had cut him off for not following the family legacy. So he didn’t date. He didn’t do parties. This was such an anomaly for him to even be out tonight. He cringed at the necessity of what he was about to say, knowing it was going to ruin the afterglow of their activities.

              “I can’t. I don’t date. This was fun, but it won’t happen again,” Alex explained, sitting up suddenly. He needed to go. He stripped the condom off and looked around the trash bin. Michael rolled to his side behind him and rubbed a hand over his back comfortingly.

              “Are you not out? Cause I can be ‘just bro’s with you if it’s—” Michael started, but Alex cut him off. He’d finally remembered where the trash can was and tossed the condom into it.

              “No, it’s not that. I’m absolutely out. Fuck closets. No, I just don’t have the time. It wouldn’t be fair. Look, it’s not a big thing. Maybe I’ll see you around campus sometime?” Alex said in a rush and tried to offer some unlikely run-in as a placation. He stood up and grabbed his pants from the floor, pulling on his underwear and then them quickly. He grabbed for his things off the floor without looking up at Michael. He could feel his silence like an oppressive weight on his skin and the judgement radiating from the bed didn’t help the claustrophobic feeling coming over him.

              “So that’s it? Fuck ‘em and forget ‘em?” Michael asked in an angry, hurt tone. Alex turned and looked at him, anger starting to rise in him in response.

              “Like you learned how to fuck like that being a monk? It’s a hook-up at a party, Michael! You don’t even know me,” Alex spat out, pulling his shirt out of the mass in his arms and pulling it on with angry jerky movements.

              “I just thought there was a connection there, but ya know, you’re probably right. I’m probably just a cock-slut with dependency issues. Shit, and they say frat bros are fuck boys,” Michael mumbled the last bit under his breath as he too got out of bed. He headed over to his dresser and yanked out a pair of boxers, shoving his legs into them and then up his hips before facing Alex again.  “Have a nice life, Alex.”

              “You too,” Alex bit back, turning and leaving the room. He had to stop on the stairs to put on his boots, but he didn’t stop after that. He walked right out of the frat house and towards the dorms. It would be a long walk, but he wasn’t too worried about it. The longer he walked, the worse he felt about what had happened with Michael. He should’ve handled that better. Ruefully, he stopped and looked over his shoulder back towards the house and swore he could see someone standing in Michael’s window. Sighing, he turned and started walking again. It might’ve been nice, but it wasn’t to be. Alex reminded himself for the next two miles that he didn’t have room in his life for anything more, no matter how good the sex was or how addictive the smell of rain against his skins seemed to be.

[darling-dummy-blogs]

🎂Surprise! Happy Birthday Gavin!🎂 (Part 2)

Summary:It's Gavin's Birthday! Carmela wanted to make the most of his birthday by taking him out for a sweet surprise birthday at the Amusement Park; A full day of soft and fun times yet there is something that Carmela has to tell him. Something that might change their future 👀

Paring: Carmela(OC)XGavin Bai

Genre: SOFT FLUFF!!!

Fandom: Mr. Love Queen's Choice

Warnings: None needed!

Word Count: 7.6k

Parts: 1 / 2 / 3  

"I brought us here to have a good time,” she continued. 

“Lately you've been pretty busy with work and so have I, so I made sure to check ahead of time for us to have a great day for your birthday. B..because I love you. And I want you to always be happy." 

"I had everything set up as a surprise just for the sake of making sure your birthday spent with me went great" She gently takes his hand, lacing her fingers with his, softly squeezing his hand, blushing more "Are you ready to go in..?" She asked him, and he nodded, fingers tightening around hers in response. Ready to begin their day of fun.  

Leading him out of the car and into the huge amusement park, she looked around, her eyes scanning over all the rides, until one caught her attention. 

The Carousel. 

One of her all time favorite rides! Her eyes lit up as she turned to Gavin, "Would you like to go on the Carousel with me?" Her voice tried to seem calm, but it ultimately gave away her excitement. 

The childish side of her was revealed the more excited she became, slightly bouncing in her place, a big grin on her face as she looked up at Gavin, her smile dropping into a pout as she gave him puppy eyes, "Pllleeeeaaasssseee…?" She begged. 

He couldn’t help but blush at the look on her face.

“...Alright,” he said at last, then cleared his throat, glancing away. “Just one ride can’t hurt, I guess.”

Making their way toward the Carousel ride, Carmela noticed that there wasn’t a line for them to wait in, instead, the park employee gestured them right through the gate and onto the ride.

“Which animal are you gonna choose to ride on?” She asked. “I think a dog would suit you, maybe even a wolf?”

Gavin followed her as she made her way around the ride, taking in all the options excitedly.

“What if I just watched while you ride your favorite?” 

She pouted. 

“This is for your birthday, Gavin, you’re no fun! And you said you’d ride it once with me, didn’t you?” She pouted, giving him the puppy eye look again. 

“What if I just stood next to your animal on the ride?”

“Gavin.”

“...Fine. The wolf, then?”

Her eyes lit up with joy, as she nodded vigorously.

“That’s perfect! Then I’ll take the bunny, we’ll be right next to each other!” She smiled as she got onto the Bunny. 

Once they were both situated, the park employee started the ride for them. Carmela held onto the pole that held the bunny in place, a bright smile on her face as she enjoyed herself. She then glanced at Gavin, wondering if he was enjoying the ride just as much as she was. 

However as she did so, her hat came off, due to the sudden wind current that washed over. She gasped slightly, "Oh no! My party hat!!" 

Gavin, who’d had a small smile on his face only moments before, frowned in concentration even as his wolf mount continued to bounce up and down. A soft summer breeze soon wrapped around the party hat, carrying it opposite the wind current and back into Carmela’s hands.

“Gavin! But your Evol-- won’t somebody notice?”

His only response was a warm chuckle. When she looked over at him on his wolf again, the lingering breeze still stirring the edges of his hair, his amber eyes alight with the summer sun, a sudden thought crossed her mind-- he’d never looked more handsome to her than in this moment.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Nothing!”

She felt her cheeks growing hot, averting her gaze for a moment, placing the party hat right back on her head once again. A giddy smile tugging at her lips, one that she couldn't hide. "I'm just admiring how handsome you truly are." She admitted, smiling more. 

~~

By the time they had done a few more rides, the couple had decided to get some lunch! Knowing very well that Gavin loved spicy food. Especially anything involving noodles.

Carmela had decided to take him to the new little restaurant that they had recently added into the Amusement Park.  

"They recently opened this place to the public and already people had said that their food was delicious! So why not try it out?" Carmela told Gavin as she led him in the direction of the restaurant.  

Once they arrived, they were able to get themselves seated, seeing as the place wasn't as crowded as Carmela thought it would be for being very popular. 

A waiter came over, handing them the menu, and ordered their drinks for them. Before giving them time to choose what they would like to eat. 

Carmela looked over the menu, humming as she thought about what to get, "What do you plan on getting, Gavin..?" She looked up, glancing across the table at him. 

"...I'll get whatever you get," he replied with the smallest smile. “Gavin.. I can’t just choose for you, silly! It’s your birthday you should get to choose what we eat!” She giggled slightly. 

He was silent for a long moment, brow furrowing as he finally went through the pages of his own menu.

“A pizza then, to share?” He asked at last. “But only if you help me choose the toppings.” “I’m fine with that!” She looked through the menu for the toppings for the pizza, humming thoughtfully. “Hmm.. how about sausage and jalapenos for the toppings?” She looked up at him, smiling. 

“Good idea,” he replied. “As long as it’s not too spicy, for you.”

“I’ll be fine!” She reassured him, before calling the waiter over to take their order. 

Once their order had been placed, they patiently waited for their food to come. Carmela gently hummed, “Are you enjoying your birthday so far?” She asked him, curiously. He smiled, and reached across the table to take her hand in his, intertwining their fingers.

“Of course I am, since it’s time spent with you.” 

Carmela blushed, smiling as she lightly squeezed his hand, “Then I am glad. Because I am enjoying my time spent with you as well. I only want you to be happy on this day."  

After a while of chatting about random topics, their food finally arrived!

As they began to eat their Pizza, the more Carmela ate, the sudden jabs, more so of kicks from her stomach, halted her from eating more. 

Her eyes widened, she knew exactly what was kicking her in the stomach. 

The kicking didn't seem to stop either, which made it a bit difficult to eat. She stifled a groan. Clearly they did not like the spicy food that she was eating.. 

“Carmela? Are you okay?” Gavin glanced up from his slice, brow furrowed with worry.

She softly cleared her throat, looking at him "Y-Yeah! I'm alright! My stomach is just hurting a little bit, but it's nothing to worry about!" 

“Is it from the food? Is it too spicy?”

When she didn’t immediately respond, he moved from his seat across the table to her side, taking her free hand in his. 

“I can ask the waiter to bring us some milk?” 

“A-ah.. Yeah, the food is a bit spicy, but it’s okay! I can handle it.” She reassured him to the best of her ability, taking another bite of her slice, which earned her yet another kick. She bit down on her lower lip. “....Maybe.. I-I might need that milk..” She whimpered. 

“Hey, don’t eat more--!” He gently took her by the wrist, guiding the remaining portion to his mouth. “We’ll order something else, alright? Take this water first, and I’ll ask for the milk, too.”

She frowned, “B-but.. This is what you wanted to eat..” She then took a sip of the water that had been provided to her. “W-we don’t have to get anything else..” She looked at him.  

“Ice cream, then? You need to eat something, alright? And the milk should help with the spicy, too.”  

Carmela softly thought about it. Ice cream did sound more appealing then getting constantly kicked in the stomach with every bite of pizza. “I...I suppose ice cream would be better for me to eat then..” 

“There was an ice cream truck back near the carousel. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What do you do when there are no good surveys? Check back again later and hope someone has posted one I can do, ha. I’m too lazy to hunt for any myself and anytime that I’ve tried I don’t find any new ones or ones I haven’t done recently. What do you do when you can’t sleep? So every night? My nightly routine consists of listening to ASMR, scrolling through Tumblr, and taking some surveys. Sometimes I also color and catch up on some YouTube videos. The TV is always on as well, even if just for background noise. Do you take gummy vitamins? That’s the only way I can take vitamins since I can’t take pills. So glad that became a thing and they’re even geared toward adults. They’re a lot better than the disgusting chewables. I haven’t taken any in so long, though. :/ I really need to get on that. What do your Christmas pjs look like? I have a few pairs of Christmas leggings I sleep and lounge in and a couple Christmas shirts as well. What color looks absolutely terrible on you? *shrug*

On a scale of 1 to 10, how good are you at arts and crafts? The only thing I do close to that is coloring. That’s about as artsy as I get. Which candy bar do you buy the most? I don’t really buy candy bars. It’s pretty rare that I’ll have one, but if I were to, it’d be a Reese’s. Which coffee shop do you visit the most? Starbucks. Are you bothered by something right now? Yeah, health stuff as usual. Who do you go to when you are upset and need to talk? Usually I’ll just vent about it in these surveys and/or rant on Twitter. How many pairs of Christmas earrings do you own? I don’t have any Christmas earrings, but I have Christmas bracelets and scrunchies. Do you want a white Christmas this year? I wish. It doesn’t snow here. :( I’d love to go to the snow, though. Are you ok? Ha. Do you pretend to be ok when you’re not? I’ve been trying that for a long time. I used to put up a pretty good front, but not so much anymore. Name a class you only liked because of the teacher. My history class sophomore year. My teacher, Mr. Coffey, was awesome. Do you miss anyone? I miss a few someones. Do you have a nativity scene in your home? No. I’d like to get one. If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? I just prefer black ones. Do you watch youtube videos a lot? Yeah. What website do you frequent the most? Tumblr most of all, but also Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. If someone dared you to read an excerpt of your diary out loud, would you? These surveys are like my diary and you’re all seeing it. Do you know what you’re going to wear tomorrow? Likely what I’m wearing now. ^If so, what are you planning on wearing tomorrow? -- Would you rather make a snow angel or snowman? Snowman. What is the best antique shop in your town? We don’t have any in my town that I know of. Do you ever drink wine? I used to. Does creating make you happy? I like coloring. Like I said, I’m not a crafty person and coloring is as artsy as it gets. Are you more creative or outgoing? I’m neither. Would you rather write a poem or a story? I used to write short stories when I was like 13 and I liked doing that. Do you have abusive family members? No. What US city would you most like to visit? There’s a lot I’d like to visit. NYC is definitely one of them. What country in the world would you most like to visit? Sweden. Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? I don’t plan on getting married. What color are your snowpants? I don’t have any since it doesn’t snow here. Do you sell things online a lot? I’ve never done that. I buy things online a lot, though. What’s a quick and easy way to make some extra cash? *shrug* Do you enjoy babysitting or just tolerate it? I wouldn’t say it was something I really enjoyed, I mean it was okay. I only babysat my brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids and they could be such brats sometimes lol. I couldn’t handle it for a long time. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one. What is your dream job? I don’t know. Do you parents support your dreams? They would if I had any. Are you ambitious? I haven’t felt that in years. Was anyone a jerk to you today? No. What color are your grocery bags, if you have the reusable kind? We have various ones. If you were to write for a magazine, what kind of column would you have? I wouldn’t. Is there anyone you secretly miss? It’s no secret. I mean, maybe they aren’t aware but I would tell them if I ever talked to them. Have you ever had feelings for someone and never told them? Yeah. Are you adventurous when it comes to food? Ha, nope not at all. I eat the same few foods all the time and I’m so picky. What’s your favorite Disney theme park? I love all of Disneyland. What’s the theme of this year’s calendar? I have a really nicely made Alexander Skarsgard one that I won in a giveaway last year. Each month is a different collage of Alex photos and it’s just gorgeous. Do you buy planners or make bullet journals? I used to buy planners when I was in school. Do you get stage fright? Oh yes. Giving presentations and speeches was the absolute worst. What’s your newest favorite music video? “Thank u, next” by Ariana Grande. Who do you wish you could talk to right now? My grandma. :( Do you do a lot of DIYs? Nope. Target or Walmart? I like both, but man Target is a trap because I always find SO much stuff I want and end up spending way too much. What department store do you shop at the most? Kohl’s. What pharmacy do you use? CVS. What color are your Christmas lights? I have multicolor ones up in my room. I’m not sure what colors we’re going with for the tree. Who are your favorite small youtubers? A few of the ASMRists that I watch. What were you voted in the senior class polls? Nothing. Who was your best friend in high school? Freshman year it was Kyle, David, and Jessica. Sophomore year it was Gabby and Derek. Junior and senior year it was Amanda. Do you prefer going to a dance with friends or with a date? I went with friends. What restaurant is overrated? *shrug* Would you rather go to a 50’s diner or a brewery? 50′s diner. What do you like on your nachos? I used to love nachos with lots of cheese, jalapenos, guacamole, and sour cream. I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore, though. :( Do you still talk to your first best friend? No. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I didn’t have one. Have you started on a list of resolutions for next year yet? I don’t make those anymore. Have you ever kept a memory jar? No. Owls or penguins? Penguins. Charlie Brown or Snoopy? I like both, but Snoopy is so cute. What were your high school’s colors? Nah. Do you most motivational & inspirational statuses on facebook? No. Are you fake on facebook? No. Have you ever been tempted to be fake on facebook? No. Do you have any true friends in real life? My family. Do you have anyone you can trust? My family. What does your ugly Christmas sweater look like? I have 3 Christmas sweaters, but I don’t think they’re ugly. I love ‘em. If you had to pick ten things to ask Santa for, what would you ask for? Better mental and physical health and a better financial situation is really all I want. Would you rather meet a genie or an alien? A genie, I guess. Have you ever hiked a mountain? No.

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

CSA WEEK 6

P I C K L I S T

CABBAGE - POTATOES - BLUEBERRIES - TOMATOES (RED & HEIRLOOM) - THAI BASIL - CELERY - BOK CHOY - SUMMER SQUASH - ZUCCHINI - LITTLE CUCUMBERS - CILANTRO - GARLIC - JALAPENO

This week was met with more rain- aka a constant reminder, that it's time for new boots.  Because of the rain crops like your bok choy are currently bathing in standing water.  The bugs are pumped, especially those attracted to wet conditions (hence the little spots on said bok choy).  To be perfectly honest with all of you, it sucks.  YES the fields are wet, and yes the fields need moisture, but goodness gracious the crops will soon drown and rot.  I’m not entirely bummed out just yet, the 10 day forecast looks promising enough.  But let it be known that every drop of rain that comes out of that sky right now is met with an extreme grunt made by yours truly- and probably every other farmer in our region.  

Moving on from the weather (is that even possible??!) The flower fields are exploding with color as we usher in Anne & Mrs. T’s  cut flower CSA.  For those that pick up at the farmstand, you can catch a glimpse of the zinnia field from 12A and it is GLORIOUS. 

In other field reports- mesh lining was added to the tomato greenhouses to frustrate pests looking to enter, THE GREAT ANNUAL GARLIC HARVEST came and went- pretty lackluster harvest due to it not being that fun to pull garlic when the earth is so heavy with moisture (but we still love our garlic crop!!), blueberry season has begun, the heirloom tomatoes are finally catching up with the red tomatoes,  and if we haven't already entered peak summer harvesting and eating, we are getting pretty close to it.  

PRO TIPS:

Your tomatoes:  do you see cracks in your tomatoes?! Great! that means they are ripe for the eating.  Do not sleep on this fruit.  Eat asap, nothing beats a juice ripe just picked tomato in the summertime.  

Thai basil, cilantro, etc… These veggies with the listed herbs are pretty much begging to be incorporated into a vietnamese style rice noodle bowl and or fresh spring rolls.  I am running out of room here for recipes, so give it a google if you need inspo.  

Fried garlic chips 

from my new fave cook book, 

BURMA SUPERSTAR: ADDICTIVE RECIPES FROM THE CROSSROADS OF SOUTHEAST ASIA

by Desmond Tan and Kate Leahy

Makes about ⅓ cup fried garlic and about ½ cup garlic oil

Ingredients:

½ cup thinly sliced fresh garlic

½ cup canola oil (though i used olive oil and it turned out great)

Line a heat proof bowl with a strainer.  Line a plate with paper towels.  In a wok or small saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat for a minute or two (the oil shouldnt be scorching hot).  Add the garlic and gently stir into the oil.  When bubbles start to form rapidly around the garlic, decrease the heat to low and cook, stirring often, until the garlic is an even golden color and nearly completely crisp, about 3 minutes.  If the garlic starts to darken too quickly, remove it from the heat and let it continue to fry in the oil.  If the garlic needs more time to fry, return the wok to low heat and continue to fry.  

Pour the contents of the wok into the strainer lined bowl.  Lift the strainer up and shake off of the excess oil.  Scatter the garlic onto the lined plate.  The garlic should crisp up as it cools.  The chips can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for 1 month.  Stor the oil in fridge for upto 6 months.  

Ginger salad

Again, from my new fave cook book, 

BURMA SUPERSTAR: ADDICTIVE RECIPES FROM THE CROSSROADS OF SOUTHEAST ASIA

by Desmond Tan and Kate Leahy

JENNY’S NOTE: I KNOW I KNOW, there is no ginger in your box this week to pickle- and also no romaine lettuce, BUT make do with what you DO have.  For example i used pickled radishes instead of the pickled ginger and this Summer salad remained so bomb.  It’s basically all I want to eat now, you’re welcome.  ALSO I think the THAI BASIL would be awesome in this- give it a shot.  

4 cups thinly sliced romaine lettuce

1 ½ cups shredded cabbage

3 heaping tablespoons pickled ginger, chopped

2 tablespoons fried garlic chips

3 tablespoons fried yellow split peas

3 tablespoons cilantro

2 tablespoons sunflower seeds

2 tablespoons coarsely chopped toasted peanuts

2 tablespoons minced jalapenos

1 tablespoon sesame seeds

1 ½ tablespoons toasted chickpea flour

1 ½ tablespoon onion oil 

2 tablespoon juice from the ginger pickling liquid

2 teaspoon fish sauce

¾ teaspoon salt

1 lime or lemon cut into wedges

In a salad bowl, combine the lettuce, cabbage, pickled ginger, fried garlic, split peas, cilantro, sunflower seeds, peanuts, jalapenos, and sesame seeds.  Sprinkle chickpea flour over the top and drizzle with oil and pickling liquid.  Add the fish sauce and salt (use more salt if not using fish sauce).  Squeeze 1 or 2 lime wedges over the top.  Using your hands, mix well and taste, adding more salt or lime juice if needed. 

JENNY’S NOTE: CHOP AND ADD YOUR CELERY HERE… OR USE IT in ANY OTHER RENDITION OF POTATO SALAD 

 4 pounds potatoes 

1 3/4 cups Greek yogurt (I used full-fat but I think other fat levels would work)

1/4 cup sour cream

2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (from half a big lemon)

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1 tablespoon minced fresh dill

1 medium garlic clove, minced

2 teaspoons kosher salt (I use Diamond brand; use less if you use another, read why here)

Freshly ground black pepper

1 cucumber (1 pound), unpeeled but quartered lengthwise, seeds removed

More ideas for additions: Crumbled feta, chopped green olives, chopped fresh mint leaves or a minced hot chile

In a medium pot, cover your potatoes with cold water and bring them to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, reduce heat to medium-high and let potatoes simmer until tender enough that they can be pierced easily with a skewer or slim knife. I find that small potatoes tend to be done in roughly 30 minutes from the time I put them on the stove cold, but it’s best to start checking 5 to 10 minutes sooner. Drain potatoes and let them cool completely. (This is a great step to do ahead, as it seems to take potatoes forever to cool. If you’re really in a rush, spread them on a tray and pop them in the freezer for 10 minutes.)

Meanwhile, in the bottom of a large bowl, stir together yogurt, sour cream, lemon juice, vinegar, dill, garlic, salt and lots of freshly ground black pepper.

Grate the cucumber on a box grater (or in your food processor’s shredding blade, if you like to get things done in one hundredth of the time) and try to remove some of the excess by squeezing out handfuls, pressing it in a mesh sieve with a spoon or wringing it in a square of cheesecloth or a lint-free dishtowel. Add to yogurt mixture.

Once potatoes are cool, cut tiny ones into quarters or larger ones into generous chunks. Add to cucumbers and yogurt and stir to coat. Add any extra ingredients desired. Adjust seasonings to taste. Either eat immediately or keep in the fridge for up to three days.

[thesmithfamily08]

October 13th 2020

So much has happened!  Kids started school and we as of this evening have made it through the first 9 weeks of school!!! Penelope Got Mrs. Butts, I don’t think I knew yet last time I wrote on this.  Well school is going great for all three kids!  Penny is bringing home all 100% on pretty much everything her grades are all 100% of 98% haha, her teacher always tells me how sweet she is to everyone and friends with everyone!  Max’s work definitely got more difficult this year but he is doing fantastic with it!  He went head first into multiplication and division, he is learning cursive which he is soo much better at than his regular handwriting.  He is reading chapter books in one sitting just for fun at home all the time.  We just got his reportcard yesterday too and he has all high A’s!  So proud:) Lily teacher Mrs. Soto tells be weekly how much she loves lily and her little personality.  She says she is super helpful in class and friends with everyone.  She got her test results back and is well above average and got all 1′s on her report card, which is the best you can do in kindergarten.  I’m so happy they they are all getting to go to school in person and they are all doing so well.  It has been a crazy year no doubt and I’m grateful that they are getting a little bit of normalcy back in their life.

I’m not sure if I put it on her before but the girls started ballet too which has been great, they are going to have a recital in May which I am overwhelmingly excited to get to see :)  They wanted to start girl scouts but none of the troops around here are doing anything so it was easier to just skip it this year.  Max is doing scouts again, we moved him to another troop in Owasso and his best friend Mateo joined the new troop too!  It worked out super well they are actually doing things!  We went camping with them just a couple weekends ago and the weather was perfect.  They got to shoot bb guns, bow and arrows, and sling shots!  We went on a hike, and they even did a random plank contest which Penny won after 5 minutes!  We were all a little impressed with her abilities!

Rob started school virtual but they ended up switching back after 2 weeks or so.  Now he has some kids still doing virtual and some in class so he is having to keep up with both which has been a lot of extra work for him.  He seems to be managing alright though.

Max’s birthday party was last weekend!  He is turning 9 in two days!  How did that happen his last year in single digits, I’m not even ok with that.  We did a campout in the back yard.  We had 9 boys here!  Ended up only having 6 stay the night but it was really great.  They made rockets and shot them off in the back yard and Rob brought home his sling shot and they shot tennis balls with it.  We did a campfire obviously and roasted smores and we even watched Onward on the projector outside on the shed.  It was a super great party! 

So what else is going on around here, I’m kid free 7 hours a day 5 days a week.  That happened.  Which is crazy, awesome, nice, sad, but really I’m just about as busy as I always have been.  I just accomplish more because I don’t have to stop ever now and again to help someone.  I’m trying to get a few smaller projects and what not done around the house.  I still feel like there isn’t enough time in the day but I’m so very much thankful that I get to do what I do everyday so we can just have evenings filled with hanging out and not cleaning and running errands. Today I’ve been working on the garden, the weather has been wonderful lately so I’m trying to get the garden kid of cleaned up for next year.  Currently I’m spreading out the strawberry pants because they are getting too over crowded to the point they wont produce much fruit next year.  We haven’t had out first freeze yet this year but all I have left still growing is watermelon, bell pepper, jalapeno, and banana pepper plants.  Plus one random tomato plant which is doing fantastic. 

It is almost election day and I’m a total mess about it.  They are currently questioning the next supreme court justice to fill RGB’s spot before the election which will make the court 6 - 3 republican.  It is all a little overwhelming.  I have hope that Biden will pull out a win and the Nation can get some of its dignity back but I don’t know if I will be surprised at this point if Trump wins again.  A lot of people have already voted due to covid they are voting online but I’m going to wait until November 3rd and vote in person.  I feel like I need to see my vote being counted. November 3rd could be a really happy day, or not...we will just have to wait and see.

On the note of covid we have had 215000 people die in the United States since March.  It seems to be getting worse everywhere but no one is stopping doing anything.  I mean including me, we just had 9 boys over here for a birthday party last week.  Masks are required in most stores and and buildings, parks and what not are open, (except the new zoo park) :( My uncle got it but he is fine now, I know Rob has had a lot of students who have had it and recovered, I still don’t really know anyone who has died from it other than my moms neighbors in Claremore.  Disney world still isn’t back open like normal and I’m currently trying to think of a back up plan for next year just incase we decide to try something different. My grandma has canceled Christmas and Thanksgiving so that is kind of a bummer, but I think it was the right call.  I am curious what they are going to do with Mall Santa...will the kids get to sit on his lap and tell him what they want?  Maybe we will just have to write letters this year.  Weird times we are living in.

I started a fitness journey, I have stayed relatively the same weight since before I had kids.  It has been work to stay at that point but I’ve always tried to lose weight and finally get into good shape that I can be proud of.  Well I finally have made some progress, although it has been drastically slower than I would have ever imagined but still I am moving forward everyday and proud of my accomplishments.  I went from 120 to 112.2 in the past 6 weeks.  My goal is to get between 100 and 105 by Christmas.  I think I can do it it isn’t even Halloween yet.  Hopefully next time I post on this I have more good news and not “welp that didn’t last long” haha!

[luckylq27-blog]

Write it like a reporter would write it

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