#well at least louis is winning lol

[heavenly-kazee]

@sakuplumeria tagged me to make a poll with at least 5 of my all time faves and see who wins so... here we are! Have fun!

Tagging @illir @toto-blanket @shonenkun309 @romana-colasour @vodkabutgay @colourless-hydrangeas @just-somehuman @a-forbidden-detective and anyone who wanted to join, don't pressure yourself if you don't want to~

[chaoticarson16]

Top 5 to get married and the bottom 5?

Utah number 1 cause he canonically has a wife. Number 2 I feel would be Virginia cause he’s practically the at home dad of the south lol. Numbers 3 and 4 would be Florida and Loui cause I feel like they would marry each other just to win-. And 5 would probably be Iowa and Wisconsin (“Weird way to propose but I do”). Honorable mentions Vermont and New Hampshire.

Least likely to get married I feel would be Arizona (aroace Arizona canon totally), Ohio (do I need to explain lol), Delaware (haven’t fully decided but I see him on the Aroace spectrum as well), Connecticut (does feel attraction but doesn’t pursue it), and Hawaii (see her as a lesbian but currently not looking for a long term relationship).

(For all the characters I’ve said are aroace I’m not trying to say aroace people can’t get married it’s just how I see the characters. I myself am aroace and have had a partner for over a year :])

[fancyfeathers]

have you watched queen's gambit? if you have, imagine beth harmon! darling as william's student. she is decimating every man in the chess club one day, and the whole department, even university is there to witness or join the challenge. william who happened to "stop by" casually offers to play. the game becomes actually longer and more intense. darling's confident and hungry posture falls as her objective goes from decimating her opponent to literally surviving. when he finally wins, she is humiliated badly(at least thats how she feels, william made sure no boy there insulted her intelligence at all lol) it's fun. i can see her becoming obsessed with taking him down and he is all "miss (name) can we focus on the lesson right now?"

Omg I love this idea especially because my mother insisted I play chess when I was in kindergarten all the way to my senior year and I met a girl when playing at a city championship who just reminded me of her and I played against her and she just destroyed me and then afterwards we exchanged phone numbers and we have been best friends since. Anywho that’s enough of me rambling lol.

But anywho I couldn’t play chess for the life of me anymore

I imagine that William would hear about her when his students were talking in class. When he catches them he asks what they are talking about that is so much more important than his lesson and the boys explain that one of them who is in the chess club had just gotten miserably beat by one of the only women at the university, he was planning on challenging her again after today’s classes. Then the next day comes and William asks his student how his match went, and he gotten beat even worse than before. Then the next day William hears his entire class talking about how she beat every single boy in the club and the professor who runs it. Then he hears how everyone around the university is attempting to beat her but no one has succeeded. So one day after class, William decides to see the rumored lady in action. The chess club has never been more active, people practically pouring out the door to watch. William squeezes his way pass everyone to watch and he recognizes her from passing in the hall…

“Miss (Name), she is one of my philosophy students, taking a minor in linguistic studies as well.”

Another one of the university professors had snuck up behind him, one of philosophy professors and the chaperone of the chess club.

“I think she is in my advanced number theory class next semester-“

“W-What how?!”

William is cut off my her competitor, staring down at the board in pure shock, he had just lost but it had only been a few mere minutes. William watched as she stood up and reached out to shake her opponent’s hand but he merely stood up and walked off in a fit. She just watches him leave and doesn’t notice the footsteps approaching her and she turns her head to see the scarlet eyed professor extending his hand to her.

“Professor William James Moriarty, I teach mathematics, care for a match?”

The two sit down at the table and the game begins. To say it was a long match was and understatement, dragging on hours since there are no use of clocks in the club and it is reaching night hours when Louis gets worried about his brother and shows up to the university to see the two of them playing and she is tugging at her hair in frustration as she stares down at the board. Only a few students and professors are left watching. Then she finally makes her move, and as she is grabbing her pencil to make note of it she hears William move a piece on the board and-

“Checkmate.”

She stares down at the board in pure shock, she actually lost. She stands up and shakes his hand silently before walking off herself with her few friends from the chess club trying to make her feel better about her loss.

William goes home with Louis who immediately asks why her was still here. But all William can think about is the intelligence of this young women. Then the first semester ends and winter break comes and goes and everyone returns to campus and she begins in William’s class but before he has the chance to speak to her at the end of class she runs off, presumably to the chess club. So after finishing a bit of filing William goes as well and sees her sitting playing a game with another one of the students and having a conversation.

“I don’t know why loosing to Professor Moriarty is bothering you so much, you literally won the Nationals over winter break in London, why don’t you focus on that victory-“

“Because I won those matches and I lost miserably to Professor Moriarty, it doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense is the fact that you are still here, you could literally be playing against some of the best in the world if you wanted but instead you are still here of all places, why?”

“Because I want to beat him.”

He begins watching her more closely after overhearing that. He picks up on her little habits, how she shows up thirty seconds before his class starts, she packs up her things forty seconds before the bell and when class is dismissed she is always the first one out the door. As semester moves on he also notices how distracted she is getting, staring off at the ceiling and not writing anything down, the lack of work on her assignments and how she is seemingly growing more and more distant to everything, and her grade in his class is suffering because of it.

“Miss (Name), please stay after class.”

He says mere seconds before the bell rings and she is about to stand up to leave and all of her class mates stare at her as she approaches his desk instead. He scolds her for her behavior in class, telling her that he knows she is intelligent and…

Her eyes were still staring off else where…

“Can I see your bag please?”

She hesitantly hands her bag off to him and he opens it and looks through it and pulls out a bottle of pills.

“I will be talking to administration about this, you will be most likely removed from the chess club and potentially expelled.”

“…I understand.”

The next day she is sitting in her dorm room, she had not gone to class that day when a secretary from administration came knocking at her door to escort her to the main office. She is taken to the headmaster’s office where William is sitting there as well. She is also reprimanded for her behavior in her mathematics class and use of such substances and she will be removed from the chess club…

“…you would be expelled but Professor Moriarty has offered you an alternative. You will be staying at the Moriarty estate and be under his care where he will monitor your credit recover and lessons at his home since the use of such substances calls for your removal from campus.”

“…I understand.”

Her things are packed up from the dorm and she is moved into the Moriarty estate and is silent for her first few days there until he calls her downstairs to his study and there is a chess board set up on his desk.

“You have a very interesting mind, I will be honest when I say I had my own motivations in letting you stay here. I wish to understand how your mind works, so would you like to play a game?”

[gracefullou]

I’ve been thinking about this and looking at peoples reactions on the setlist and the biggest problem to me is not 1D songs but the fact that there’s THREE 1D songs and like genuinely if I went to the festival and I saw him then afterwards I’d left with a feeling of “he doesn’t have enough solo songs”& “he’s still stuck on 1D” when it’s not true and we as the fans know that but the gp doesn’t.

Also I do understand him putting the songs that the gp knows and blah blah blah but well the gp knows jho (or at least some people) so he could’ve sang it instead of another 1D song or a cover which no one knows anyway. But overall I think Louis is stubborn and he won’t listen to us (esp since we’re such a small group of people lol) buuuut I’m really glad to see that the fans are saying very loud that they want more solo songs on the setlist because Louis deserves to know that his solo songs >1D songs and that people love them more so I hope he sees all the complains lmao

Hi, anon. I agree with everything you said. No matter the angle you see it from, it's not looking good. At first, i was disappointed solely for the fact that all these covers are taking up the place that fitf songs should've had. Simply bc i believe in its potential, i believe that every fitf song is so much better than any one direction song. I believe that no cover (one direction or not) is the key to win people over, but fitf is. Not in i'm a solo louie only his solo songs are good kind of way but bc it's the truth. Everytime the transition between a fitf song and a one direction one happens, i feel the dip in the quality. It's frankly striking. Fitf is my favorite album ever but also, i always make all my family and friends listen to Louis' music (usually not in an obvious fangirl way) and never has anyone said that this song is bad or that they didn't like it. On the contrary, most are now casual fans/ listeners and get excited along with me when a new release of his aporoaches. I also know what i felt/ thought when i heard fitf for the first time and that's why i have no doubt in my mind that an artist could not ask for a better representation. Fitf is EVERYTHING. I just wish Louis believed that too 😔. Anyway, the more that i think about it, the more obvious it becomes that Louis is waisting a lot of potential with his setlist choices. First of all, it doesn't send the message of a solo artist that is confident in his work. It can frankly paint him as the ambitionless loser from a dead band who can't move on from the break that the media (and some of his so called fans) try so hard to make people perceive him as. When in reality, he's been up to SO much since the pandemic. People respect ambition, they respect hunger for success and validation so why put yourself in a position where you can seem to not care enough? Larries and ot5s are horrible we know that (see how they're celebrating fucking seven of all things and then they have the audacity to claim that they love him and it's the toxic solos who don't respect his previous work 😬) but i can't help but feel that somewhere, sometimes Louis is responsable as well. Fans take cues from their "idols" and Louis is not helping with the three covers. I don't even know what he's trying to achieve with it 😭. Bc he does sing an awful lot of covers even at the tour shows when he knows the crowd is mainly his fans. Like the directioners that do show up now will show up even if he reduces the number of covers to one (and everyone will be happy then ☺️). He also needs to stop thinking too highly of 1D and assuming everyone is a fan. A lot of people are not. A lot of people don't even know their songs. It's been nine years, people move on. Today was the first time that i was left feeling a bit underwhelmed and not on a high after his set. It's one thing to sneak 4 covers on a regular tour set (it used to be less rip 💔) it's a whole other thing to fill it with those and leave your own beautiful songs off in a tight set like he has on those festivals and he needs to understand the difference ASAP. And it's not that he doesn't have "popular" songs under his belt. Back to you, just hold on, miss you are more than enough familiarity for any audience. Also, as much as he cares about "popularity" when it comes to 1D songs, he doesn't seem to care for the same for his own. Hello always you has over 100M streams on Spotify with no promo or playlisting and it's not even a single. Hoth, Chicago, angels fly, bigger than me are the most popular fitf songs after waoyf but they're nowhere to see on the setlist 😃. Instead of wdbhg why not reward fans with a favorite? Megamix is a clear fan favorite. Or defenceless as a nod to the fans' dedication and effort in 2020 for example? Or maybe he does reward them... With one dead songs 😭😭😭

[louisisalarrie]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisisalarrie/767017476313808896/i-dont-think-hes-very-proud-of-the-way-his-fans?source=share

different things tho.

his fans believe things he says.

harrys fans dont give a fuck abot any tpwk. its a common harrie joke to say "tpwk is for harry, not us" they revel in their cruelty.

not saying this is on harry at all. just saying his fans donot have any limits about being cruel.

wait they’ve said “tpwk is for harry, not us”!?!????? ok im gonna have to start getting in fights on Twitter now Christ that hasn’t been on my resumé for about 10 years now lol

seriously tho, I think it would be a game changer if he said something. I mean, I’d prefer him to action it, and hang out with the boys/follow them on Insta at least Christ but while that’s still weirdly put away to the side for now, I think the best he can do is words. but he’s avoiding pretty much all social media at all costs at the moment, which is very fair.

of course at this time the boys are very MIA which is fantastic and I hope they’re all well, but genuinely they’ve all kind of stepped back from social media. the majority of louis and niall’s instagrams are just tour photos from each night. it’s just… they are afraid to be vulnerable and personal on their accounts now. everything these dudes do is under the highest fucking scrutiny, particularly harry.

Can you imagine the state the fandom will be in if he follows the boys on Insta? Harries scrambling saying “it was an accident his finger slipped a bunch of times because he was drinking a pina colada and the condensation dripped on his screen and did it for him but he’s too kind to admit it was an accident and unfollow them” or whatever shit they wanna spew. Even something so small as that, there will be articles about it. He’ll be asked about it in interviews, hints of a 1d reunion spread throughout the industry, just… everything. It’s gonna be a whole massive thing.

However

Him doing stuff like this, will not overshadow his career. He is an established solo artist in his own right to a degree that if he followed them, it wouldn’t take away so much from his own career, so he should do it. It’s not gonna pull as much attention away from his solo stuff as it might with niall & Lou. I think it would be a sick “fuck you” to all the hairballs. He should be making moves like this. But his team are fucking tight, I’ll tell you that much. Those losers don’t wanna lose a CENT. if they think him starting to hang out with the boys WILL in fact pull attention away from him, make fans leave, WHATEVER they will strongly advise against it. I highly encourage it. It would make him look less like “he’s too good for 1d” which doesn’t even fucking align with his image right now (and obviously himself).

personally, I also think that those same harries that are so awful and so far up Harry’s arse would clean out their twitters from all the awful shit and act like they’ve been supportive all along if he decided to start posting about the boys/publicly going to their gigs/following them because they want so desperately for harry to like them. if harry was active on social media, they’d pull their fucking socks up. but they aren’t getting repercussions for their actions. they’re getting away with it because pretty much every other part of the overall 1d/solo fandom fucking hate them, and disengage from their shit.

but anyway, repercussions don’t exist in here from harry. He can’t jump on Twitter and say “hey guys, please all be nice to each other” or something of the sort because he already kinda tried that with TPWK and it didn’t work. So if he directed it more as like… a blame thing to his fans a lot of them would get mad and start blaming us anyway. But as I said earlier, it would be a game changer in terms of artist to fan dynamics/relationship and the evidence of social media

there’s no wins here though. I don’t know how to get through to them.

sorry for the weird and long rant lol

drink = 1, louisisalarrie = 0

[twopoppies]

hi gina! sorry i’ve been looking through your blog but i couldn’t find it so I’m asking have you ever made a post about fics with side ziall? and if not, do you have some recs? xx

Hi, darling. I actually haven’t ever made a rec based on side pairings, and I don’t tend to take notes on how expansive their storyline is. But here’s what I have:

Scorpions et Madragores by Stria (E, 23K) Read the tags and author’s note on this one because there are some themes that could be triggering. This is a dark fic and Harry is a pretty creepy vampire, but the story is very well told and there’s a happy ending.

taking tips and getting stoned by alison (M, 24K) Slightly OOC, but I really enjoyed the realistic approach to the storyline and having a fic about life not turning out the way you thought it might, and the opportunity for second chances.

Run and I’ll Give Chase by orphan_account (E, 25K) I really liked the characterizations in this one; the way Harry wants Louis, but is afraid to want him, and then finally gives in? So good! Plus…there’s a second part Jump and I’ll Catch you (E, 13K) that I haven’t read yet.

let’s talk about making love by istajmaal (E, 25K) Oh, phone sex operator fics, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Through Eerie Chaos by mediawhore / @mediawhorefics (GA, 102K) This one is set both in present day and the 1920s and I absolutely adore this fic. This is such a unique and compelling story, the writing is beautiful, the characters are wonderfully realized, and I ugly cried for realz. Such a good fic.

Finding Lou by stylinsoncity (M, 60K) This author’s writing is always such a pleasure to read -- they really know how to craft a moving story. Slow burn romance with some super sexy smut and lots of emotions. Yes, I cried

I Will Never Rust by stylez (E, 38K) I must have read this at least 5 years ago and I honestly don’t remember details, but my notes say “gorgeous, sad, sexy” so... I’m crossing my fingers that old me knew what she was talking about. It’s frat boy Harry so that could go either way. LOL!

Loving You Is Free by littlelouishiccups (E, 68K) this was one of the first sugar baby fics I read in this fandom, and the set up is excellent. Steamy smut, and great side characters.

In Dreams by dolce_piccante (M, 24K) This actually might be my favorite of this author’s fics, although I know it’s definitely not the most popular. It’s just soft and romantic and sweet and I’m a sucker for tattoo artist Louis winning over slightly uptight Harry.

May We Stay Lost On Our Way Home by LoadedGunn (E, 74K) Famous!Harry meets fairy!Louis. Yep. Mix in this author’s always incredibly hot smut, magic, quirky characters, and this is just a great read.

Escapade by doce_piccante (M, 146K) I know, I know. This fic really doesn’t need more recs –– everyone knows this one. But it is a pretty perfect fake relationship AU. In particular, the hate to love chemistry of the main characters is done really, really well, the smut is super sexy, and t’s a really fun read.

[auncyen]

I finished the metaphor refantazio demo today and by 'finished' I mean I got to the point of the dungeon where the demo automatically cuts off rather than doing the full three days. (Note: there is a whole prologue, then the three days, so if you're familiar with Persona and going "three days isn't that much" no it's a LONG ass demo. Like a fool, I did not make a separate save to explore other options once the prologue ended and more gameplay options opened up.)

My verdict: I don't think I'm buying this game for ps4, and it's not tempting enough to make me buy a ps5. If I get a ps5 for other games, I will come back and see, but like...more and more I question the point of new consoles because does graphical advancement really mean much anymore? Metaphor has flashy UI and neat transitions and all but there's an annoying amount of lag on the ps4 (don't think it'll put off anyone who's invested in the game, but when you're on the fence, well) and then you get to actual scenes and there are awkward transitions (where'd that hostage come from) and basically like. I don't feel like the actual cutscenes always look good. Which is not what I expected here.

Character-wise, I'm curious what Louis' deal is, I liked the bounty hunter who pops up later, and I like the MC being given more of a voice and character of his own, but I'm also not really invested in any of the main characters yet. Like, I'd love to see MC possibly go from "I have to become King to stop Louis and save my friend (and then I'll give up the throne to him)"/just having this default assumption that winning the throne is necessary but he's not actually going to be king, this is all for his friend, to "hey, actually. I want to save my friend, I'm winning this throne for both of us, but I want to rule to try fulfilling my ideals." But like I also wouldn't be totally surprised if he doesn't get to do that...probably depends on if there are branching paths/multiple endings or whatnot.

Combat: so while I got to the end of the demo in dungeon in one day (I spent the other two days doing attribute-raising stuff and the like), it was a genuine challenge and near the end I was passing up stuff because it had enemies nearby just because I really wanted to see where the demo ended and was worried about running out of MP lol. The battles are generally a cakewalk if you can stun the enemy before beginning, but depending on their toughness you might not always be able to do that and you can very easily be headed toward a game over if you accidentally allow an ambush (I LET MYSELF DO THIS WITH A HUMAN AND TWO MORE ENEMIES, AT LEAST ONE OF WHICH COULD INFLICT AILMENTS. WHOOPS.) So while I'm sure people will still be able to one-day rush dungeons once they're experienced with the game, I was definitely feeling the strain toward the end of the demo. And also just whapping enemies without entering battle is fun. But yeah I just don't know if story & characters would hold me for however long the game is and I feel it'd be more fun with less lag, so...wait and see the reviews and if a ps5 ever gets more tempting.

[keithal]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written :)

oh hello! beloved enterprisery this is my fave game to do of all time, so thank u for this :D three things before we get into it: (1) out of respect for u, the first two will be iwtv fics, (2) most of these are my least popular works LMAO and (3) this got pretty long. sorry abt that.

hell and you: modern day devils minion w old man daniel and armand. sometimes i forget how much i like this fic and then i'll remember "i wrote a fic abt armand being daniel's sugar daddy, LOL." it's very funny to me personally. i especially love this bit i threw in:

He fills the apartment with the smell of his cologne and something underneath that it can’t quite mask. A smell like water left to stand too long or flowers left too long in a vase.

i like the idea of vampires smelling like death. i can forgive this tho bc i think in the later installments of the vc anne rice said vampires smell like mayo? which is ... well. at least much more attention-grabbing than what i did.

damn these vampires: an armandaniel fic that takes place immediately after the season finale. this fic was majorly inspired by a thought that woke me up from deep sleep. armand and daniel have history. armand (i'm guessing) blocked daniel's memories. but didn't wipe them. daniel can't access them, but they're still there. so how funny would it be if daniel was jealous of louis being w armand but has no fucking idea why.

He smokes one on his walk back to the penthouse, thinking of how he had stood there in the aftermath, staring at Rashid—Armand—hovering over them like fucking Mary Poppins, his hand interlocked with Louis’s, and—instead of doing what a Pulitzer-winning, seasoned journalist of his caliber should’ve been doing in the face of being this royally fucked over—absurdly, inexplicably, Daniel noted the position of Armand’s thumb: on top.

i make myself laugh.

keep on keeping on, dean winchester: deancas s13 au where jack is a baby. i can't actually think of a part of it that stands out without any context (which, in my opinion, is a good sign), but i can say that i enjoy this part quite a bit:

Friday morning, as they’re making their way through the sticks toward the interstate, Sam says, “Hey, guess what I bought,” and holds up a dusty Sing-A-Long CD. “Fuck no,” Dean says. “We are not listening to Metallica all the way to Sioux Falls with a baby in the back.” “He likes it! Right, Jack?” he calls over his shoulder. Jack makes an incandescent gurgling sound. “See? Kid knows any music made after 1979 sucks ass.” “Singing in early childhood is important, Dean. It helps kids with language development, memory, and emotional regulation, and it entrains their social visual behavior.” “Thanks, Spock. You’re the pride of the Federation.” “Dean.” “Dude, I’m just saying, we can entrain his social visual behavior with the classics. We don’t need that baby crap. It’s the 21st century. All we need is Zep, Cash, some AC/DC—”

i worked really hard to capture dean's voice--like, harder than i've ever worked to scrub my own voice from a piece of writing. the amount of references and sayings in this bitch? sheesh.

i'm also very happy with how the relationship btwn jack and dean developed. one person who commented made a very intelligent observation that even i hadn't realized: i made dean see himself in jack. and it makes sense, doesn't it? jack's mom died bc of the supernatural; he wasn't allowed to process this loss at all; and he was left in the care of a father who'd lost a spouse. a father whose grief made him mean and treated his son like an object (hence the "it" pronouns used in the beginning).

anyway! very happy w how it turned out :)

long live the kingslayer: an elriel mission fic. i've spoken abt it like. a million times by now. and i still love it <3 there's just so much real estate to work w when it comes to elain. she's so underdeveloped that anything u say abt her is almost always pure conjecture. it was so much fun to take a character i loved so dearly and write a story where she was never punished for being who she is.

i'm still very fond of this part in particular:

“Wait,” he said before she could leave. His voice was nearly as hesitant as his expression, flickering between uncertainty and a strange, boyish shyness that was captivating on him. He reached into his leathers—where, she couldn’t know—and pulled out a small container. “Here,” he said, placing it in her hands. She opened it. Inside was a smelly, yellow ointment. “A salve,” he explained, “for your hands.” An unnameable feeling seized her. She hadn’t thought he noticed, never dared mention it out of fear of what he’d think, and this whole time he’d been carrying this salve with him. A salve for her hands. It was a terrible idea. She knew it as soon as it came to her, but she grabbed Azriel by the ears anyway, drew him down to her height, and kissed his cheek. She felt his skin go warm, and she imagined how surprised he must look, how shy. When she pulled back, she saw that his face was indeed dark with color, avoiding her gaze. Simultaneously pleased at her reaction and embarrassed by it. He was magical, she thought, and she loved him dearly. Loved him so much that it broke her heart. “Thank you,” she said. “This will be invaluable.” Finally, a smile from him. Unable to resist it, she brushed the back of her hand over his cheek, fond, and said, “I’ll leave you to rest.”

a lot of acotar fans hate it when ppl write azriel to be soft and shy and not particularly dark at all. me, personally? i think that’s boring. azriel was born into an abusive and violent home and suffered unimaginable torture at a very young age. he developed powers meant to protect him from the horror of his daily life, and those powers made him a great spymaster/torturerer. but it's so obvious that azriel hates his position within the court. he's starved of intimacy and tenderness. he has an extremely reserved and kind nature. it's a much more meaningful to have a character like that find someone who recognizes his gentleness and desire for gentleness in him and offers it to him. those characteristics don't make him any less of a man.

god never wrote a good play in his life: a god/chuck character study written in second person. i genuinely don't know how the toxic sibling relationship btwn amara and chuck doesn't make more people absolutely fucking insane. this story is chuck-centered, obviously, but i don't think anyone realizes WHY i did that. i don't like chuck! i didn't like writing from his perspective! i did it bc all of supernatural is chuck-centered. even when it isn't quote-unquote "his" story, it's still his. the point of the whole thing is for the reader to do what chuck/the show doesn't: break out of what's being told to u! look at the other characters! namely, look at amara.

chuck tries to scrub her from the story completely. the fic is 3k long, yet chuck doesn't mention amara at ALL unless she's onscreen. and even when she is onscreen, we can't trust a fucking thing he says! as exemplified here:

Maybe that wasn’t how it happened. Maybe you and your Sister were perfectly capable of creation. It would be absurd if you weren’t. Surely it wasn’t possible that you couldn’t create anything together. If you were in harmony, that should have implied you, together, would excel at it. She was an eccentric mind, designing balls of gas and entire solar systems that resembled you, right where all your rings met. (The most terrifying thing She came up with was the collapse of a star, where it became a gaping black mouth that swallowed everything in sight. You and I, She explained, perfectly in balance.) You were far less excitable, putting all your focus into the one planet you’d claimed as your own, but as you watched Her in those moments, you privately invented jealousy. Maybe you were lying about the lying. Perhaps They did give you counsel in a lapse of generosity, and your essence catapulted as you realized you would have to choose. Or possibly that day went like every other. Maybe She never met Them, and you only met Them much later, once you had shoehorned Them into part of your story. So instead of revelations and sacrifices, your Sister told you about centripetal force as you floated, listening, your rings spinning in slow, lazy circles, and you told Her about how little you cared for all this science and math She liked so much. Where is the pathos? you asked, and She sighed much as an exasperated older Sister should, and you realized that you loved Her very much. Or maybe you didn’t.

WHY? why is that? it's because the longer she's in the story, the worse chuck looks.

amara loved chuck from beginning to fucking end. she was born loving him. she chose him, always, over and over again. and chuck knew this! he used it! he would dangle the possibility of him finally loving her back to get her to do what he wanted. and what does chuck do abt this? abt his story, the first to ever exist? he recreates it. michael & lucifer; cain & abel; dean and sam (all men, curiously). to ... what? prove that he isn't the only brother to have not loved his sibling back? that in his position, u would've done the same?

i could talk abt that fic all day. best thing i've ever written.

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 7

Spoilers under the cut

Amber Alear C: He likes alpacas. This guy’s an idiot.

Alcryst Boucheron C: Alcryst wants Boucheron to be his fitness coach so he can be more confident, lol.

Citrinne Yunaka C: Citrinne is on to Yunaka and orders her to confess. Yunaka used to be a Brodian assassin but put that behind her. lol, “I’ll hear everything you have to say, but later.”

Heheh, Severa’s bond rings are better than Cordelia’s. That should please her.

Lucina Paralogue?

Oh this is one of those recycled maps. Figures.

“That fight was when I saw how strong my father really was,” Yeah he sure did abuse pair up to beat you :p

Oh I have to fight Lucina? I’ve already beaten her up a few times in the arena so this shouldn’t be hard lol.

Hmm her berzerkers are a bit spooky but that’s about all.

I fucking hate how I have to toggle network stuff back off after I check my relay trial thing.

So how best to tactically deal with the berserkers. I know, I’ll just do what I always do!

Please eliminate the stuff that’s bothering me, Celine.

“I don’t see where I could hit :(” but Alear has a 100% hit rate.

“Compared to when we first met, you’ve grown strong and become a formidable opponent.”

Yeah she’s gotten really good at unleashing Celine!

Lucina says her bonds with her allies helped her change a hopeless future, but she came from the game where you lowman to win. Hah.

Oh nice, there’s a whole 10 extra levels on Emblem bonds.

Alcryst Ivy C: Alcryst is still mad about his father’s death. Ivy apologizes, which blows his fucking mind. She just wants peace. Alcryst is surprised to be working with Ivy but wants to try to move forward. Good support!

Diamant Ivy B: Ivy feels awkward to be working with Diamant, but thanks him for the previous support as a first step toward improving relations between their nations. Another good support!

On with the story.

Soln is a desert. Oh no.

Ivy’s melting D:

Hmm, the Four Hounds tried to attack Solm a few times without success.

According to Ivy, Ike is among the most powerful of the Emblem rings. Gotta shill for Ike XO

Party’s lost lol.

Oh, it’s not-Claude. Fogado’s cocky as hell. At least this time I’m not getting shot at. Fogado has a mission, sound like Corrupted are about in the desert.

I just noticed Firene was the only time I met the older sibling first.

Pandreo’s freakout was funny.

I think I already don’t like Bunet.

Jesus Pandreo’s bases are stupid

I really approve of Engage’s use of desert movement slowing.

Neither Alfred nor Diamant has met the royal family beyond the queen. The Queen doesn’t keep very close tabs on her family, oddly.

Big castle.

This joke about Fogado being the prince and nobody knows it is dragging on much too long.

Lol jesus he just shouts “Hey mom, visitors!”

Oh no, Evil Marth and Veyle laughing about it.

Also what’s Sombron doing? Should he be going on a rampage or something?

Alear Chloe B: Chloe gushes about how Alear is living like a fairy tale hero, whlie Alear counters she’d rather a more normal life. This is actually not a bad one and it makes me like Alear a little more.

Alear Framme B: Framme’s fangirling again.

Celine Alfred C: Alfred is... digging a hole. He’s trying to dig a well. By himself. Because he heard the kitchen staff saying they didn’t have enough water. Celine gets exasperated and says they can fetch water from the river.

Louis Ivy C: He wants to cheer Ivy up, she’s a little awkward.

Framme Diamant B: Framme’s upset because she’s learned that Brodia’s history is almost constant warring with Elusia for territory, and she fears Diamant didn’t tell her that because he was deceiving her. Diamant reassures her he’s not proud of Brodia’s history and wants to make amends (also, Brodia is Red!Faerghus, lol, they’re defined by a strong warrior culture), but Framme still has trouble trusting him.

Celine Chloe B: Recounts how they first met: Celine was traveling incognito to a tea farm when her vessel couldn’t depart and she was sad and Chloe gave her a ride without recognizing her. Why the fuck does Celine make a habit of traveling incognito by herself for tea? It’s bad enough that she’s a princess doing this, but Alfred’s sick so she could still realistically have to succeed the throne.

Lyn Paralogue. It’s based off the Mulagir gaiden from FE6. They chose one of the worst maps from a game she wasn’t in :(

Lyn talks a bit about living in the Lorca tribe, which is cute.

Lyn’s pretty weak but she’s annoyingly dodgy and can use her Emblem attack to attack at 10 range every other turn.

Chapter 13

Seforia’s a rather plain woman. She’s goofy though. Of course. She has no idea what’s going on. Also she doesn’t know where the ring is.

Why does Timerra look and sound younger than Fogado.

Fuck I hate her too.

Bandit twins!

Lots of fog and destructibles.

Lol Ike powers up axes which Timerra cannot use. He’s going to Diamant after this.

This time the bandit twins were treated rather seriously. Weird.

Solm has spies in all the countries so they found out first Sombron was back, but they didn’t ask for help because they were too isolationist, what the fuck? This game’s plot falls apart if people stop being fucking idiots.

Also they have Corrin.

Also Hortensia is back, fuck.

[torontoarenas]

2022-23 NHL Predictions, Revisited

Five Teams I Most Overrated

Calgary. This happens to me every year. A team I pick to win their division goes and misses the playoffs instead. Vegas & NY Islanders did this to me last time. I guess I should’ve anticipated a step back since they lost Gaudreau and Tkachuk and replaced them with the store-brand version of those guys. (I hate that I said that about my beautiful boy Nazem Kadri, but c’mon. Tkachuk is one of the best players in the league! You’re not just replace him with Kadri or Huberdeau, two players who are both “great to have,” but not especially elite.

Florida. From Presidents’ Trophy to fringe playoff team? I didn’t think they’d repeat what they did last year, given how reliant they were on overtime wins and especially after they hired Paul Maurice, but I didn’t anticipate such a dramatic fall.

Nashville. Huh?! I’m scratching my head here. I don’t remember this at all. I had them third in the Central? Ahead of Dallas?? That was insanely dumb of me. My bad.

Pittsburgh. I decided to give them the ol’ Crosby/Malkin/Letang “benefit of the doubt,” but it’s time to pay the piper. They’re all still good players, but not as dominant as they once were and their team depth seems to have completely evaporated. These guys might just be cooked.

Washington. See above re: Pittsburgh, but with Ovechkin and friends, and they’re even more cooked. Couldn’t even come close to the playoffs! It would be great to see Ovi challenge for Gretzky’s goal record, but unfortunately I don’t think that’s going to happen.

“Honourable” mentions: Detroit and Ottawa. lol. lmao even. not only did these guys not take an appreciable step forward like many people (myself included) thought they would, but they got lapped by the Buffalo fuckin’ Sabres. and it’s hard to see how either of them make the playoffs next year. but I’ve been wrong before, clearly, as everything I’ve written above and below attests, so I shouldn’t be too confident here. but for now, I can laugh a little. Steve Yzerman is perhaps the most overrated GM in all of hockey. as for the Sens: “hot Pierre summer,” my ass!

Five Teams I Most Underrated

Boston. Who the hell saw this coming? They started the year with Marchand and McAvoy hurt, and not only won the Presidents’ Trophy but broke the record for most wins in a season? I was pretty sure they’d at least make the playoffs, but jesus christ. We’ll never be rid of these guys.

New Jersey. I figured they were on the cusp of something great, but not quite there yet. Instead, they broke through to the top of the league almost instantly. That there Jack Hughes fella’s pretty good, hey?

Seattle. After overrating them last year, I thought, “boy, this team with solid depth but no true superstars isn’t going to trick me again! I’ve got you figured out now!” Well, apparently not!

Winnipeg. The difference between Connor Hellebuyck being “world-class” and merely “pretty good” is the difference between the Jets barely limping into the playoffs and missing altogether. Their late season play wasn’t exactly awe-inspiring, but I still should’ve picked them to finish ahead of St. Louis at least!

Buffalo. Isn’t that nice? They’re almost a playoff team now! I’ll be cheering for them to get in next year. Maybe with a full season of Devon Levi as the starter will do it!

Honourable mention: NY Islanders. I didn’t underrate them so much as I overrated Washington and Pittsburgh. This team isn’t that good. They’ve got one of the best goalies in the league, but the rest of the roster just screams “average.” Still, though, gotta give them props for making the playoffs when I didn’t think they would, and the Sorokin factor means they could be a real handful for the Hurricanes in the first round.

Preliminary Impression of My Predicted Cup Finalists

Carolina vs. Colorado? Hey, it could happen! I no longer think it will, especially not with Andrei Svechnikov out for this year’s playoffs, but I didn’t make myself look like a complete fool with that pick. I’ll take it.

Awards

Hart and Art Ross: Connor McDavid? Folks, he’s done it again. As always, this was the chalk pick, so I can’t claim any credit for thinking Connor McDavid would be good.

Norris: Cale Makar? Though he missed a bunch of time due to injury, this was a reasonable pick otherwise. But again, reigning champion, chalk pick, &c.

Rocket Richard: Auston Matthews? He was playing hurt for most of the year and went on a weird shooting slump in the middle of the season, so he couldn’t even get close this time around. Don’t care. I’ll pick him again next year. He’s gonna absolutely blow the doors off with his expiring contract, and you can take that to the damn bank.

Vezina: Jacob Markstrom? Woof! My rationale was that Calgary would win the Pacific, which meant that as their starter, Markstrom would pick up more wins than any other goalie in the league. The GMs who vote on this shit love “goaltender wins,” one of the dumbest stats in all of sports. But I can rationalize all day. This one’s on me for thinking that Calgary would still be good.

Selke: Joel Eriksson Ek? Went with a classic “Fancy Stats” guy that the eye test folks seem to respect as well. His xGA numbers are still pretty good among forwards, but I overthought this one. I absolutely should have picked Patrice Bergeron for the Patrice Bergeron Award.

Calder: Owen Power? If I had to guess, it’s gonna be him or Matty Beniers, though probably the latter. But I never have to guess. I just do this for fun (?)

[lululawrence]

lululawrence's May 2022 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

May is always wild and crazy, and this year it wasn't any different. Despite that I was able to read a decent amount, and there were some great fics in there, including some very long fics that won't be able to be included until June's list because I'm not quite finished with them hehe Because of that, this month's rec has several shorter fics on it, which are a favorite of mine as well, so I hope you're ready to indulge yourself in some short and fabulous fics!

The podcast for April's list just posted last night and May's is also now available! I hope you enjoy the double new episodes.

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

portrait of a vampire by Anonymous (7k, NR, Harry/Louis, vampire Louis, artist Harry, historical fic, kind of?, it's definitely it's own universe where vampires are accepted to an extent and such but it's hard to explain, anyway there's lilo friendship that is so lovely and Louis just wants to know what he looks like and, i just loved this fic so much okay?)

you fit me better by @hershelsue / docklands (4k, E, Harry/Louis, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Harry, omega Louis, laundry, it all revolves around laundry, in both meanings of the word if any of you were around long enough ago to understand that reference lolllll, scenting, strangers to lovers, smut, all the good stuff in a perfect little quick reading package!)

She's Never Been One to Stay At Home by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen (3k, G, Harry/Louis, girl direction, pirates, cross dressing, historical, based on Pirates of the Caribbean, or at least one scene from the first film lollll, arranged marriage, kidnapping, lady pirates, ohhhhhh listen if all of this hasn't been enough to win you over to this fic, then just take the leap anyway because this fic was *chef's kiss* perfection)

We’ll Call This What You Like by @tommokat / tommokat (9k, M, Harry/Louis, 1D Song Fest fic, girl direction, friends with benefits, pining, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, hahaha, friends to lovers, some really really excellent WLW smut for all y'all who need that out there lol, this fic just... whew, but at the same time was so fucking cute too haha it had it all and i loved it)

us two by @wadey-wilson / wadey_wilson (4k, G, Harry/Louis, bedtime stories, mythology, kid fic, the narrative style of this fic was so incredibly unique and interesting, and in a way it was like there was a story within a story, like there literally is a frame narrative, but it's done so differently from most frame narratives, it's hard to explain but it's glorious and incredibly effective and so beautiful, it made me cry it touched me so much, it's a really beautiful and wonderful story)

Cake Date? by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (3k, M, Harry/Louis, soccer coach Louis, baker Harry, flirting, fluff, hand jobs, and cake, hahahaha that's the fic and it is perfectly sweet and cute and fun, it is such a nice short happy read)

About Bloody Time by Missyoualwaysyou (2k, NR, Harry/Louis, canon compliant, pining, reading fic on ao3 about themselves, friends to lovers, smut, it's one of those fics that feels so perfectly nostalgic as you read it, and it encapsulates so much of the silly headcanon fun we used to have back when i first joined the fandom, down to the idea that maybe the boys not only read fic but wrote it too, it was a lot of fun and of course ended in some smut, such a fun fic to read)

The Only Pain in Pleasure is the Pleasure of the Pain by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) (11k, E, Zayn/Liam, tattoo artist/shop owner Zayn, tattoo artist/shop owner Louis, rich Liam, lilo friendship, zouis friendship, matchmaker Louis, chaotic Louis, pining, mutual pining, pain kink, smut, semi-public smut, more like it's smut in a public place but it's closed so still private-ish?, hahaha anyway, it's HOT and such a great story, i love the way it's written, omg it's just yeah it's so good lol)

Only Hate The Road When You're Missing Home by @magicalrocketships / sunsetmog (49k, M, Liam/Louis, famous/non-famous, exes to lovers, kinda... it's complicated lol, uni student Louis, non-famous Louis, famous Liam, roommates Niall and Zayn, sad Louis, making up, healing, hurt/comfort, marriage, angst, like omg holy hell so much angst, i cried a lot reading this fic, but also a happy ending!, and the healing felt so real, like they didn't just fix one thing and have it be all better, or assume it would be alright, they really had to work for it and kept apologizing, and had to keep talking it out etc, it was so incredibly perfectly done, i loved it so very much)

The Glory Hole-idays series (parts 4 and 5) by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

Hallelujah! He is Jizzin' (3k, E, Harry/Louis, Zayn/Louis, Liam/Louis, Niall/Louis, established Harry/Louis, Louis works a glory hole, this is his Easter Special and omg I about died lmaooooo, I love this entire series so much you have no idea)

Rimadan (786, E, Zayn/Louis, references to Zayn/Harry/Louis, this is a private session to allow Zayn to continue his celebrations, basically just really really sexy zouis smut lollll)

subverting expectations by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (3k, M, Harry/Louis, girl direction, famous/famous, actress Louis, model Harry, met gala, semi-public sex, it's just a lot of flirting and excellent sexy times for these ladies in the bathroom, followed by the hope for something more hehe, and I loved every moment lolllll)

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[namtanlovesfilm]

Hi Axelle!

Okay so I have a question I’ve been dying to hear your opinion about for a while, just bc you’re so knowledgeable on Thai actors and their whereabouts etc. So here goes: which (Thai) actors do you think are really talented actors/musicians? In basically every BL there’s at least one person who’s a musician or sings an original song, and I’m sorry to say but a lot of them are just… not that good imo 😅

I have a couple of ppl in mind who could (and have) definitely hack it in the music industry even without them being actors, but that’s most definitely not everyone, so I’d love to hear your opinion about this!

hi! so I'm personally on the other camp of "pretty much every thai actor is an okay singer except for like the few ones who notoriously can't (ohm & first, I'm looking at you lmao <3)" obviously though, there's good and GOOD, right? for example, I think off, mond, joss, earth, etc. are good singers, but maybe not professional level. then we go up to louis, tay, win, khaotung & joong who can sing really quite well, but idk if it necessarily translates into a real music career if they weren't famous actors first. then we have bright & gawin, who for me are definitely the two best singers at gmmtv. I've said it before that I personally think bright should focus more on music bc he's better at it imo, I've also heard him live irl at lol fanfest & he truly was just as great as in recordings. to be fair he already has a career in music but he hasn't blown up with a solo song like other actors have so that's why he's in here. love his song sad movie with f.hero though! as for gawin, I've been in love with his singing since I reacted to his cover of best part in the early days of my youtube channel. lately he's been getting more & more songs, be it ost's or his cover of lauv which he SLAYED, and idk I just truly see gawin as a singer. he gives me the nont tanont, patrick ananda, jaonaay type of thai singer who's a pretty boy with a soft voice & he'd fit right in. honestly with the right marketing behind him I truly think he can become thailand's next big singer, I said what I said!!!

xxx

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Wed 7 Apr ‘21

Louis left Tulum and went to Mexico City, and we got airport pics from both ends: the gathered fans were told by his bodyguard that they should keep their distance but that yes, pictures would be allowed. Thank you Louis! We got to see him a little for the first time in so long, in videos of him walking by (and getting ready to walk by) and blurry pics of him with his guitar, and Oli and Charlie- I’m excited to someday see the footage of whatever they’re working on. But for now, finally some proper pictures of the long long hair, or at least the below the hat part, all flippy and like...LONG! It’s on his SHOULDERS! Early pics had some interesting shadows around an elbow, prompting a flurry of NeW TaTtoO?? excitement, but when more pics were posted we could see that no, his elbow remains the same, false alarm. Once that tattoo kerfuffle died down the interest refocused on his shirt, which featured- a whole damn pile of skulls!

Louis went through a long phase of wearing skull shirts a while back, and the fact that it was during a period of a lot of very pointed t-shirt messages (and that he kept doing it more than ever despite knowing what we were reading into it) seemed to reinforce the theory that he did in fact mean things by it, and seeing him say yes to fan photos while wearing this shirt for the occasion… well! WELCOME BACK public Louis, we MISSED YOU! Yesterday’s shirt was for the band Obituary- is the band name a nod at the fact that Syco, generally considered to be the main target of previous skull shirts, is now dead and gone (rest in pieces assholes:))? Is Louis drawing attention to the livestream that band did a few days ago for their album ‘The End Complete’, and if so, is that also about Syco or about… something else? Inconclusive, but if we were meant to find their song “End It Now”, that can truly only be about one thing!! Am I to believe that SBB himself, Mr “I like to draw the fans’ attention to the lyrics of things” just, whoopsy, missed that! I mean, you would think every band on earth has lyrics about “ending it“ with the number of times he’s made that mistake, damn… he just never learns. Poor Louis, gosh how embarrassing! Lol. Anyway, I’ve seen people wondering lately what will happen when all the fans that have joined us in this time of lockdown and of no real contact with Louis will react when their version of Louis has to compete with the real one- and him barely being back at all but immediately reminding people that he is not a dad FFS feels like an excellent beginning, this should be good! BUCKLE IN friends! The real Louis is sooo much more fun than the boring made up one, just get ready to enjoy the chaotic energy and trying to keep up with him….

Oh also Louis liked a Snuts tweet about being underdogs as they fight to get the release week UK #1 for their new album, and a charity says they reached out to Louis AND LOTTIE to play in their celeb footie match PLEASE, HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? Come on Tomlinsons, say yes!

Liam has a big interview in Glamour to promote his BAFTAS performance! If *I* were doing the piece I would have really gone hard on the Two Liams angle of the performance (in which Liam will be accompanied by a hologram of himself) but alas they are boring and only interviewed one of him- maybe the part where he says “you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person” sort of counts? The “that's always something I've really struggled with” makes it not so fun though, but that’s a Liam interview for ya; worrisome and makes you want to hug him a lot. “I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away,“ he says, and today is no exception. We catch up on the time since last we heard from him, when he told us he was going to take some well-earned time off and try to focus on writing new music; he continues to have difficulty with downtime unfortunately. Oh Liam, I do wish it were easier for you to take a break! He says, “I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit... not being able to go anywhere, not being able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself” and “for me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards.” He goes on to say “so, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today,” and I wish I believed him, but that’s Liam’s way, to be like oh I need to add something upbeat and end on a cheerful note! So IDK. He also talks about drinking too much, at the beginning of lockdown especially, and how he’s dealt with it by getting back to working out and dieting. There’s nothing there that he hasn’t talked about before (he’s publicly addressed both his struggles with alcohol dependency and has talked a lot about his disordered eating though he hasn’t himself named it that) but after publication Glamour edited the piece to omit the part about his drinking-- I’m guessing the augmented reality app people didn’t feel it fit their ideal image (sigh). What that leaves is him saying how nice it was to be able to eat what he wanted during lockdown but that having the boundaries and rules in place of restricting his food again has made him feel better about himself, which if you ask me is still plenty distressing. Oh Liam :( <I’ve never wanted to hug someone so bad/ Spongebob meme> On a slightly more cheerful note, he tells us he feels supported and heard by a manager that he’s close to, and by Louis, and that those relationships are good for him (the interviewer does ask about Bear, but financee Maya is not mentioned even once in this article). The piece ends with a startling response to a comment about his upcoming performance: “I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.”

Niall posted about his Masters (golf) fantasy league and he was seen out and about! He was photographed in London driving a car the size of a house and on the street carrying one of his dozens of different reusable water bottles, with his hair floppy and down- is it a new haircut or just unstyled??- and shorts and little roundish shades. Hello Neil! There was a rumored sighting of Harry in London as well but no pics and like we know he’s there anyway so… shrug. And iHeart award nominations are up, and they’re pitting louies against harries, ouch. Will it be nasty (well when isn’t it even without this voted category, sigh), or will the louies simply steamroller everyone as per usual? Only time will tell, but if so harries can console themselves with their likely wins in the Male Artist of the Year, Best Lyrics (Adore You), and Song of the Year (WS) categories.

[twopoppies]

Hi! I hope it’s not too annoying of a request but I was wondering if you or your followers can think of any fics that are kinda inspiring academically, especially regarding British literature, if that makes sense? I just finished rereading Come As You Are and every time I read it, it motivates me to read more and practice my writing because I want to be more like Harry from that fic hahaha and I’m looking for more fics which evoke this feeling since I’m starting my masters in October and I need all the help I can get. Thank you so much! (I absolutely love your master post and its my go to couple times a week!)

Hi sweetheart. Hmmm... I just reblogged my Dark Academia fic rec, but other than that I think it would be fics where one or the other are writers/poets etc. Not all of these are heavy on the writing/poetry, but they're all great fics.

Make Your Words A Weapon by @helloamhere (E, 36K) I recently read this a second time and it’s even better than I remembered. I love everything this author writes. This one just really hit me hard for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the way they explore Louis’ anxiety and coping mechanisms and pain and the way he pushes people away and protects himself, but also wants someone to push back just a bit and love him despite all of that. And the way Harry is the perfect foil for all of it, while also feeling like a fully developed character himself. Yeah, it’s probably all of that. Plus soul marks! (Musician Harry/Music Journalist Louis)

Our Lives, Non Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 114K) this is, quite literally, the best fic I’ve read in years. It’s so well written, clever, funny, emotional, and sexy. Its draw you in immediately and you’ll end up falling in love with these characters before you know it. Don’t miss this one. Harry and Louis are both authors.

An Invincible Summer by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 45K) this one is mine, I hope you like it:

Never content to stay in one place for long, a few months down south researching for his novel seemed like an idyllic, slow-paced summer to Louis. He wasn’t ready for the blistering heat, the backbreaking work of watermelon picking, or how stifling the attitudes in rural Georgia would feel. And he definitely hadn’t anticipated falling in love with the farmer’s son.

The summer of 1946 would turn out to be everything worth writing about. Farmer Harry / author Louis

Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (E, 115K) Beautifully written, flawed characters and an emotionally engaging and ANGSTY plot. Super hot smut that made me cry like a fool. Banter, OT5 friendship, and the gritty realness of New York as a backdrop. Loved this one. Artist Harry / Author Louis

where your lips land by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite (E, 12K) Ok, I’ve recommended this one a few times and I really do love it. Anyway, I love fics where the two of them are both artists of some sort (Louis is a poet in this one, Harry is a photographer) because it allows for another layer of understanding and connection and support. I particularly love the way Louis’ tattoos are woven into this story with layered meaning. And, as always, just beautiful writing.

you’re writing lines about me by snazzyasalways (T, 4K) This is gorgeously written on that Dreamy, poetic style I happen to love. Louis is a blind poet, Harry is a baker, Harry falls in love with Louis’ words, then with him.

another hazy may by deLILah (M, 41K) Another author who writes great fic after great fic. This one has that dreamy quality I love and there’s also something about it that, at times, reminds me of a little bit of a Raymond Chandler novel. I know that’s weird...but, yeah, it does. Anyway, I love this one. Such a good read.

I would name the stars for you (I would take you there) by orphan_account (M, 91K) This is just beautifully written. Angst. Mutual pining. Dumb boys. Beautiful descriptions of art and creativity and fame and beautiful poetry.

Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow (M, 72K) This is truly one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read and it is an absolutely travesty that it’s not being talked about every day. This fic is gorgeous and poetic and romantic and heartbreaking and an explosion of metaphoric images and everything I never knew I needed but now that I have it I want to read it over and over and over.

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out! Vampire Harry / Writer Louis

24K Magic by @justalittlelouislove (E, 33K) FINALLY a category in which I can rec this author! I love everything they write, but this was the first one I’d read and it’s just great. Smooth dialogue, sexy smut, great description of character growth…just a really fun fic.

the best part of me (was always you) by @moonshinelouis-archive (E, 6K) Gorgeous writing. The descriptions of heartbreak and missing someone and still loving them were really well done. And I cried. Of course.

'Sup by MediaWhore (GA, 7K) Divorced, awkward Harry pining for silver fox Louis is a trope I never knew I needed, but I love it so much.

I Will Never Rust by stylez (E, 38K) I must have read this at least 5 years ago and I honestly don’t remember details, but my notes say “gorgeous, sad, sexy” so... I’m crossing my fingers that old me knew what she was talking about. It’s frat boy Harry so that could go either way. LOL! Student/Poet Harry.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 / (E, 52K) Really original story, mystery and magic, great characterizations. All around a very good read!

Turning Page by purpledaisy (M, 68K) This author does a wonderful job with their characterizations which makes their fics such a pleasure to read. This one really has you rooting for curmudgeonly Louis and skittish/secretive Harry to figure their shit out and fall in love. If you like this one, make time to read this author’s fic, Walk That Mile – it’s one of my all time favorites. Sports journalist Louis.

Black with Autumn Rain by Whimsicule (T, 93K) This author is a favorite. If you like intense, creative stories, with complex characters and tight dialogue, you should read all of their fics. This one has the flavor of a Daphne du Maurier novel – dark, creepy, and moodily romantic. Plus a supernatural edge. It’s so good. Journalist Harry.

That Sounds Fake But Okay by dancingontheceiling (E, 113K) This one has a little bit of everything: Enemies to lovers, fake relationship, famous/not famous... plus, really good writing and some sexy smut scenes. Actor Louis / journalist Harry.

Sing When You're Winning by hazmesentir (NR, 91K) another one I read ages ago, but I always like this author’s writing and the premise of newly out footballer Louis and journalist intern Harry who somehow snags the interview, is such a fun one. And I don’t know why it has an NR rating, there’s plenty of smut.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA! Journalist Harry/prince Louis (this fic has been deleted, so the link is to a download).

[shutterbug2012]

Cursed Euro Report Time!!!

Well, we all know by now that England dominated the field once against and really pinned the Ukrainian team on the ground, with a final result of 4-0. FOUR-ZERO!!! Phew 🥵

MOST IMPORTANTLY Daddy Gareth said in the post-match press conference, re: people celebrating the win:

I know what will be happening at home and that’s great. It’s lovely to send everybody into a Saturday night. Beer in the air wherever it is. And they should enjoy it.

I 💦 know 🍆 what 👅 will 💦 be happening ✊ at 💦 home 🥵 and 👄that’s 🤌 great. 😏

I have no further comment, Your Honor.

Note that at least 3 players (including your fav Kane) are fans of One Direction as their reaction to winning was tweeting "What a feeling!"

But... it's so fitting???

What a feeling to be right here beside you now Holding you in my arms When the air ran out and we both started running wild The sky fell down But you've got stars, they're in your eyes And I've got something missing tonight What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow I wish I could be there now

A gay song for a gay sport 💫!!! I hope Louis thought of his masterpiece while scrolling through Twitter!!

As always, the latest interesting, double-entendre Tweets from Team England:

Brilliant performance by the boys tonight! Another clean sheet (clean sheets... yeah right 😏)(*no control starts playing in the background*)

Some night, huh?

A match made in heaven.

And then there were four... (they really have a thing for orgies)(or it was a reference to zexit 😔)

No messing around! (that's about locker shower sex)

SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD! (that's what he said 😏)

Together. Let's go, lads. (gay, gay orgies)

What else... I'm convinced Mr. O is a footballer based on the following pics:

What do we have here???????? SOCKS IN ADIDAS SLIDERS!!!!!! WHO IS ALSO WEARING THIS ATROCIOUS COMBO??? LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON. (I will never forgive him for that)

So... talking about Mr. O, we did get footage of Louis watching the game yesterday. While Louke Stans were more than happy, I would like to point out to this mysterious, tall, muscular and BALD certified hottie who seemed to be sitting in front of Louis and is in the background of L's selfie with Charlie. Hmmmmm 🔎🧐 THE PLOT THICKENS.

Louis was on his best whore behavior, but who could blame him??? He was surrounded by loud, intoxicated men admiring the muscular bodies of men running around, competing against each other in a totally straight manner. What a feeling, again! So whatever Luke said that made Louis laugh so much, I chose to believe he was trying to impress Mr. Bald Guy (who doesn't look that much impressed sadly 😔 keep trying Louis!)

As this Twitter user summarized perfectly:

So who won with that footage??? Louke stans? Loli stans? Loutt stans (that's for Matt)? Bald men stans??? Alas... it's impossible to declare a clear winner, as it's just part of #louieculture:

😌😌😌😌😌

Anyways, back to football! We have a bit of a break before the semi-finals. England will face Denmark at Wembley on Wednesday. Unless Charlie shares that video his took yesterday in the pub, we will probably have to wait to see if Louis appears in the wild on Tuesday to watch IT-ESP.

In the meantime, Louies have to mentally prepare for the end of all this football loutent 😭. What the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away 😔😔😔😔

Ok I don't want to end on a bad note so, don't forget to vote for KMM at the Euro and also why not give What a feeling a listen, that song slaps hard.

xoxo,

Gareth Girl

(lol)

Just going to leave it here because I'm too busy admiring the magnificence of this cursed essay