Tumgik
#well as him in the role. sorry <33)
jaguarys · 1 year
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Good morning! I see you are also a fan of Killer B's (as well the Sannin, and Sakura, but those are topics for another day)! If you please, when you have the time, share your full essay about what makes B compelling to you as a character. I'll help spread the word! 🐝🐙🦬
RUBS MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER I love talking about Killer B!!
I think that Kumo's system for Jinchūriki is far better than the other villages. The idea of choosing an 'A' and a 'B' is really interesting, and I'm also just a fan of the inherent found family of choosing your own sibling. With that B then becoming the Jinchūriki, it provides far better support because there's a pre-existing love there. (On the other hand, I do think it can create a bit of a mortality crisis for the pre-existing B to know that this child is gonna replace you, but that's a topic for another day. None of the systems are perfect.)
I think that Killer B is what the rest of the villages were trying to achieve. He's the perfect Jinchūriki, and I would argue the First Real Jinchūriki in that he's really perfected it! He has control, he has a good and healthy dynamic with Gyūki, and he's really fucking powerful. And I think he was able to become this because Kumo's system encourages it.
Kumo's system both allows him more safety, given his closeness to the Raikage, and allowed him to become familiar with the idea of being a Jinchūriki and learn about it from Blue B before he inherited it. It's just... a conducive environment towards being able to approach it without being scared, which I think is absolutely imperative. (I'm not saying it was easy, by any means, but I think there's just a difference to be made when it comes to being supported by your family vs them trying to assassinate you like a certain someone.)
I really, really wish Killer B's character hadn't been one of comedic relief because I truly think he has one of the most interesting perspectives to explore, and I also just think that's he's. Really fucking cool.
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tklpilled · 1 year
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rant abt the bsd dub in the tags (both good and bad)
#ok WHO was in charge of the dub voices in the last season#why do oda and fukuchi share a voice#why do teruko and kyouka share a voice#what was going on with nikolai and how do we STILL not know who his actor is#jouno and tecchou's voices were wonderful though <33#like EVERY other character's voice matches them so well and then.#i mean cherami leigh fits both kyouka and teruko but. why does she have to voice two at the same time. they could've found someone new#like tara sands!! she already voiced q but they're not in the current arcs#and i think her voice would fit teruko much better. she voiced bisky in hxh and they have similar personalities#at least w the whole fukuchi/oda thing oda is like. dead. he's not Getting voiced anymore.#but i dont think his voice fits fukuchi at all im sorry </3#mushitarou's voice wasn't my favourite at first but it grew on me i like it a lot#also im pretty sure yokomizo and kunikida share a voice#and i think it actually turned out well but idk its not how i would imagine yokomizo to sound#its not bad though#sigma's voice is fine but it's SO masc#which like yeah CANONICALLY theyre a man but i thought it would be at least a little more androgynous#this all feels very negative so#i LOVE max mittelman as atsushi#i love him in general bc you can tell he loves all his roles#also sometimes i forget that he also voiced meruem in hxh because theyre?? so different?? and they SOUND different too#hes v talented#and kaiji tang as dazai!! so good!!!#again another va you can tell LOVES his role#and he captures dazai's energy so well and he's like. pretty much exactly how i'd imagine him to sound#and RAY CHASE'S (fyodor's) ACCENT. like he did not have to do that but he DID and it sounds so good#adored tachihara's old va but i do get why he had to leave#his new voice is gonna take a little getting used to but that doesnt mean its bad at all!!!#i do think ranpo's old voice fits him better but obviously that's not what's most important#and i think landon mcdonald is doing a good job!!!!
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tender-rosiey · 2 months
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Your husband, sukuna AU, is driving me crazy. That's like my 1st time ever experiencing what a comfort fic was. I have been re-reading them like crazy 😭
If it's okay with you, can you do a husband sukuna AU but with whatever scene you want? I really love the way you write him,,, it's just so perfect 🥹
dry your tears — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
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a/n: i am so glad you like them omg srsly you're too kind <33 i really hope you like this too 🥹🫶🫶
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“my lord, her highness requests your presence in the garden.”
said man’s eyes open slowly, and he narrows them at the servant who instantly kneels to the ground. he scoffs, “requests? she sure has become impudent.”
the servant trembles, “that’s how she worded it, my lord. I swear I have no role in it.”
“I didn’t speak to you,” sukuna replies as he gets up as places his foot on the servant’s head, pressing into the ground a bit more.
the servant whimpers but tries to be as quiet as possible.
sukuna warns, “and you’re to address her as ‘her highness’ or ‘the queen’ only. do you understand?”
“but—but I did?” he splutters.
“ ’that’s how ‘she’ worded it?’ ” sukuna sneers.
“I didn’t mean it that way! I am sorry! I am sorry! my apologies, my lord!” the servants chokes out, and sukuna takes it as the cue to kick him out of his way.
he starts walking towards the garden, while stretching and examining his surroundings.
the palace hasn’t changed in the time he was gone which was good. at least the human servants are capable of doing one thing right.
the gates to the garden open, and they reveal you.
deep down, the sight brings a bit content to sukuna’s heart, seeing you alive and well. however, that is a vulnerability that he would never admit, so he gets closer to you.
you’re giving him your back despite, definitely, feeling his presence.
he groans, “what do you want?”
“where have you been?” you reply with the same tone.
he rolls his eyes, arms folded on his chest, “fighting, obviously. I was passing time.”
he hears you take a deep breath before you speak up, “and you couldn’t tell me in advance?”
he can tell that you’re trying to sound calm and collected. yet, he still can’t pinpoint whether you’re angry or sad. either way, he believes that your attitude is unacceptable.
he chides, “don’t blow it out of proportion, and you have the nerve to ‘request my—"
“you have been gone for a month.”
the edges of sukuna’s lips quirk up just a little as he starts to understand why you’re acting like this.
“not the first time,” he hums.
he sees your shoulders raise slightly, and they seem to get tenser by the second. you speak lowly, “but you usually tell me before you depart.”
he closes his eyes in annoyance.
this looks like it will drag out longer than he prefers. what he expected when he returned was him spending time with you, his wife, not you giving him your back and seemingly lecturing him.
“stop beating around the bush,” he commands, “what’s wrong with you?”
you grip your kimono tightly in your fist and squeeze your eyes shut as you exclaim, “you had me worried sick!” your voice is watery and is shaky, but you couldn’t help it.
you had spent the past month alone, nobody knew of sukuna’s whereabouts not even uraume. were you supposed to just calmly wait for his return?
he may be strong, but is it always guaranteed? especially considering how the sorcerers are always planning a way to lead him to his demise.
you bite your lip as you hold back a sob. meanwhile, your husband quirks a brow, “you crying?”
you open your eyes and stand up abruptly, “no, I am not!”
throwing the hood over your head, you turn towards the other entrance and announce, “I am going inside!”
you start your march with determination, but as you get close to the gate, you hear your husband sigh and stop you by the arm. he pulls you towards him, tearing off the hood to take a good look at you.
your tears are not plentiful, but he can see their traces.
you frown and try to pull back, “let go, sukuna!”
he raises a hand to cup your cheek and squishes your cheeks like a pufferfish. your eyes widen, and you furrow your eyebrows in frustration.
“stop this,” you shoot.
he looks silently at you for a few moments, and it starts making you nervous. you finally decide to ask, but then he starts wiping your tears.
you blink in confusion as he lightly scolds you, “foolish girl.”
you register the insult after a few seconds, and it makes you frown and look away while grumbling, “shut up.”
you sniffle lightly and pull away from him. he looks down at you, silently watching you. you try ignoring his gaze, but then you just snap your head at him and huff, “what are you staring for?”
you study his face for bit then falter, “if it’s about yelling at you then I am sorry, okay? I was frustrated and—”
he pinches your nose, making you yelp.
“your worrying is unnecessary,” he says slowly, “I will always come back.”
sukuna, you realize, is comforting you. he lays a hand on top of your head and commands you, albeit gently, “so stop crying.”
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or I will send my cat after you
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sunsburns · 7 months
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kiss of life (ii.)
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pairing: luke castellan x aphrodite!daughter reader
part one
summary: i actually suck at writing summaries but basically this is part two of part one of that soulmate au fic i posted a week ago lol
—or: luke castellan is being haunted by kronos and... well, you.
word count: 6.42k
warnings: sorry for any spelling errors, i haven’t checked yet, suppperrr angsty, luke castellan pov as he's slowly being corrupted by kronos, long reading time, descriptive injuries, blood, pre-tlt, luke is stubborn and a dick, loser!luke, annabeth smacking some sense to luke, grover being an icon, reader is lowkey unreliable tbh... cliff hanger (again... lmfao sorry)
a/n: part two!!! thank you guys for all the love on the first part! i am so grateful for everything and i love reading all the comments and reblogs. i hope this one doesn't end up flopping lmfaooo. i honestly wanted this to be a short angsty fic but i got carried away and now i'm planning a whole multi-part fic for this, phew. anyways enjoyyy <;33
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At eighteen, Luke was cursed with nightmares. 
They clawed at the edges of his mind, threatening to unravel the fragile front of peace that he had fought so hard to maintain. Each night, he would awaken drenched in a cold sweat, the echoes of his tortured dreams lingering in the corners of his mind like a haunting melody.
The Hermes cabin, once a sanctuary from the outside world, now felt like a prison, its walls closing in around him with each passing moment. The moon, a silent witness to his torment, cast its ethereal glow through the window, illuminating the slumbering forms of campers. Some were children of Hermes, like himself, bound by the tenuous ties of blood and kinship. Others, however, were unclaimed, their parentage shrouded in mystery and uncertainty.
And as Luke lay awake in the stillness of the night, a sense of loneliness washed over him like a tidal wave, drowning him in a sea of doubt. In the depths of his troubled sleep, he could feel the tendrils of darkness closing in around him, threatening to consume him whole. And try as he might to deny it, he knew that his nightmares held a deeper significance, a harbinger of events yet to unfold in the shadowy pits of fate.
His nightmares were callings. A taunting voice would echo through the corridors of his mind, its insidious whispers weaving a thought of deceit and manipulation. It masqueraded as a voice of reason, a beacon beckoning him towards a destiny that promised demigods everything.
At first, Luke dismissed it as nothing more than the ramblings of a tortured soul, the byproduct of his own restlessness. But as the whispers grew louder and more insistent, he could no longer ignore the chilling realization that they were something far more sinister—a call to arms, a summons to embrace his role as a harbinger of the new world.
The nights he wasn't shaking from night terrors, he was tossing and turning at the thought of you. And he didn’t know what was worse. He couldn't escape you. The haunting image of you lingered in his mind even during sleep — your lips, your eyes, your skin, your voice, and that shared scar and your demise.
But at least, you'd given up on him by then. Your persistent efforts to reach out to Luke gradually dwindled into nothingness. Though you were still everywhere, a shadow that seemed to torment his every move, you no longer gave him even a fraction of your attention.
Gone were the days of you seeking him out, your footsteps no longer echoing in the halls of Camp Half-Blood in search of him. You refrained from asking for Chris's help, no longer burdening him with questions on Luke's whereabouts. The notes you once left behind were now relics of a time long past, their words fading with each passing day.
And as the full moon rose once more over the waters of the lake, you no longer waited by its shores.
Luke turned in bed, his mind restless as he tried to shake the image of you. He pulled the covers tighter around himself, seeking comfort in the warmth they provided, but the chill of unease still lingered in the air.
His gaze drifted across the row of beds, each a testament to the diverse personalities that inhabited the Hermes cabin. The floor was strewn with a chaotic array of sleeping bags, toys, and discarded clothing, while a collection of rocks adorned one corner near the closets, and drawings adorned the walls.
Despite the usual chaos that reigned during the day, the cabin now lay quiet and still. The children of Hermes, along with the unclaimed children and the ones of minor gods, had finally settled into the embrace of sleep. 
But amidst the calm, a sense of unease gnawed at Luke's consciousness. He couldn't shake the feeling that had settled over him after he noticed the empty bed and the slightly ajar door. 
Luke pushed back the covers and rose from his bed. His footsteps echoed softly as he made his way toward the empty bottom bunk, hoping not to wake anyone. The sight of an old penguin stuffed animal discarded at the foot of the bed made him edgy. His eyes trailed to the traces of blood splattered on the hardwood floor, stark against the dim light filtering through the cabin windows.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Luke picked up the toy, its soft white and black material now stained with crimson. Clutching it tightly in his hand, he made his way out of the cabin, the urgency of his steps echoing in the stillness of the night.
He knew all too well who the missing camper was – five-year-old Penelope, one of the newest arrivals to Camp Half-Blood and possibly one of the youngest campers. Found wandering alone in the woods near the camp hill just a week ago, she had been brought to safety by a group of fellow demigods on a quest. Luke couldn't shake the resemblance she bore to a younger Annabeth, with her wide eyes and insatiable thirst for knowledge. He wouldn't be surprised if Athena claimed her as her own one day–that is if he ever found her.
Luke's worry for Penelope weighed heavily on his mind, a knot of anxiety tightening in his chest as he combed through every inch of camp. The traces of blood he discovered fueled his unease, each droplet a stark reminder of the dangers lurking just beyond the safety of the camp's borders.
In his search, Luke traversed familiar paths and hidden corners, his footsteps echoing in the quiet stillness of the night. He scoured the armour, the climbing wall, and the camp store.
Luke had known all about campers disappearing, whether it be on a quest or to escape and try to live a normal life with humans that never really lasted long enough as monsters would dwell within the shadows outside of camp. 
It was in the dim glow of the kitchen lights that Luke finally caught a glimpse of Penelope, perched on the counter in her pyjamas, her hair adorned with two loose pigtails. A sense of relief washed over him at the sight of her safe and sound, yet it was short-lived as he noticed she wasn't alone.
His hand hovered over the door, hesitating as he listened to the soft murmur of conversation from within. With a steady breath, Luke pushed the door open ever so slightly, peering through the crack to catch a glimpse of Penelope. And you.
You, who looked older than when you first met in the infirmary. There was an air of maturity about you, a gracefulness that hadn't been there before. Your features seemed more refined, your presence commanding attention in a way that spoke of inner strength and resilience. Luke couldn't help but notice how your beauty had blossomed, surpassing the standards of mere mortal allure. It was a beauty that seemed to defy classification, uniquely yours yet undeniably captivating.
Despite this, Luke sensed a shift in your demeanour—a resignation, perhaps, to the reality of his ignorance. You had lost any hope you once harboured for him. His guarded nature would forever keep you at arm's length. And while part of him knew that this was for the best, a small, almost imperceptible part of him couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret.
For in the crossroads of his heart, amidst the shadows that threatened to consume him, there lingered a faint glimmer of longing. The thought of being intertwined with someone who could offer solace in his darkest moments, who could bring light to the depths of his despair, held an undeniable appeal. And as much as he tried to deny it, the chance of you approaching him once more tugged at the fringes of his resolve, tempting him to let down his guard and allow you closer than he ever dared to imagine.
"So, you wanna tell me what you're doing up this late?" You approached Penelope with a gentle smile, a cookie in your hand as a peace offering. 
Your words hung in the air, gentle and coaxing, as you tried to draw Penelope out of her shell. Luke watched from the shadows, his gaze flickering between you and the young camper, a sense of admiration stirring at how you spoke to Penelope.
Penelope hesitated, her gaze shifting between the cookie in her hand and you. 
"You don't know?" You persisted, your voice a soft murmur that carried a hint of playfulness. You settled beside Penelope on the counter, your posture was relaxed as you leaned in closer to her. "Is it... a secret?" you whispered.
Luke noted the subtle change in your demeanour, the way you seemed to adapt effortlessly to Penelope's shy nature. It was a side of you he hadn't seen before, one that resonated deeply with him.
As Penelope nodded in response to your question, you continued, your tone gentle and reassuring. "Let me tell you a secret," you offered, holding up your pinky finger as a symbol of trust. "I am the best secret keeper in this camp. I pinky promise."
After a moment's hesitation, Penelope tentatively reached out, her tiny finger linking with yours in a hesitant pinky promise. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips.
Penelope murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "I got hurt."
"What?" You gasped in genuine concern, your eyes widening as you shifted your attention to the young camper. "Can I see?"
Penelope nodded silently, her arm outstretched towards you. Luke observed from his vantage point, his heart twisting with worry as he noted the faint hint of red near Penelope's elbow.
You took Penelope's arm into your hands gently, your touch tender and reassuring as you rolled up the sleeves of her pale pink pyjamas. Luke couldn't help but notice the familiarity of those pyjamas, a subtle reminder of Annabeth's kindness and resourcefulness in making Penelope feel at home.
"Oh, wow, that looks like it hurts," You remarked softly, your brows furrowing in sympathy as you retrieved a first aid kit from the nearby cabinets. "You're handling it very well," you praised Penelope, your tone gentle and encouraging. "So brave of you."
Penelope watched you attentively as you began to clean her wound, her small frame tense with discomfort. "I don't feel brave," she admitted quietly.
"No?" You glanced up at her, "why not?"
"I miss my mommy."
Her words were tinged with a sense of longing that struck a chord with both you and Luke.
Luke chewed on the inside of his cheek, his thoughts drifting to his own longing for his mother. Penelope's admission resonated with him deeply, reminding him of the ache that never truly faded, no matter how many years passed, no matter how deep he tried to bury it. 
It was a sentiment shared by every demigod at camp, a silent ache that echoed through the cabins and training grounds. Yet, it was a pain rarely spoken aloud as if verbalizing it would make it all too real, too unbearable.
The yearning for a parent, for someone to fill the void left by their absence, weighed heavily on each camper's shoulders. It was a burden they carried silently, masking their vulnerability with bravado and determination. But for Penelope, the longing was raw in its innocence.
At just five years old, she was too young to fully comprehend the extent of her emotions. She couldn't grasp the complexities of her situation, the world of gods and monsters that surrounded her. All she knew was the absence of a mother's embrace, the absence of a comforting presence to soothe her fears and wipe away her tears.
It was a pain she didn't deserve, a burden too heavy for such a young soul to bear. The gods, in their arrogance and indifference, seemed oblivious to the lives they had shattered, and the pain they had inflicted upon their own children.
"Yeah?" You responded gently, "How much do you miss her?"
"This much," Penelope replied, her small hands spreading wide.
"Wow! That's a lot," you remarked, a sombre note underlying your tone as you processed Penelope's words. After a beat of silence, you shook off the heaviness of the moment and mustered a smile for her. "There we go. All cleaned up," you announced cheerfully, pressing a bandaid onto her elbow.
Penelope's smile widened in response, a glimmer of gratitude shining in her eyes as she kicked her feet. In a quiet voice barely above a whisper, she murmured her thanks to you.
"So, you wanna tell me how you got hurt?"
"I don't know." This had been the most Luke had ever seen Penelope talk, and while her voice was still timid, the words slipping out hesitantly, she seemed to confide in you. "I woke up because my arm hurt."
"The cut was just there?" You asked, and when she nodded, you hummed sympathetically. "...I get those too, you know."
Penelope's eyes widened, "You do?"
"Yes," you affirmed with a soft chuckle. "A lot of people do. You get them from your soulmate. Did your mom ever tell you about soulmates?"
"Sometimes."
"Well, a long time ago, humans used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces," You explained.
"What?"
"I know, right? Super freaky. So freaky that Zeus decided to split them in half. So, now we have two arms, two legs, and one face."
"What happened to the other half?"
"That's our soulmate. Our other half. And Aphrodite gave us a gift to help us find our soulmate." The smile that had adorned your face slowly waned, "Every time you get hurt, your soulmate gets hurt too."
"Is that why you have a cut on your face?"
The question lingered, hanging in the air like a whispered secret. Luke held his breath, his gaze fixed on you, waiting for your response. But instead of answering, you reached out to Penelope, a bittersweet smile gracing your lips as you guided her off the counter.
"Let's get you back to your cabin."
Your words were gentle, a soft reassurance for Penelope's sake, but Luke could sense the undercurrent of sadness that ran beneath them. As you led Penelope away, Luke's heart ached in a way that felt so familiar yet foreign at the same time. It burned the same way it did when he returned from the quest when he hated the world and everyone in it, but this time, the only person he could find himself hating was himself.
He retreated from the door, clutching the stuffed animal in his hands. He felt a fleeting reminder of the times he would hide from the monsters with Thalia.
Luke's mind swirled with discordant emotions, each thought a whirlwind of uncertainty. He knew he didn't deserve your answer, didn't deserve the solace of your words. He had made it clear too many times to count that he never wanted a soulmate, never wanted you.
But despite his protests, despite the walls he had built around his heart, Luke couldn't deny the tug that pulled him to you, the hunger in his soul that refused to be ignored. It was a longing he couldn't shake, a yearning that whispered of a connection he dared not embrace. Knowing that keeping you away was the only way to protect you from the darkness that lurked within him was what kept him sane.
"Luke?"
The sound of his name tore Luke out of his thoughts like a violent gust of wind. He spun around, finding you standing on the porch to the kitchens, Penelope at your side. She held your hand, a small beacon of warmth and light in the dimness of the night. 
It seemed too perfect, too surreal, and Luke couldn't help but feel a pang of disbelief. Were you trying to kill him? It had been too long since the last time he spoke to you, let alone stood so close to you, and here you were, the epitome of what a demigod should be, even if you were still in the dreaded bright orange camp shirt.
"Hey," he managed to say.
You continued to descend the stairs, each step cautious and deliberate. "What- uh, what are you doing up?"
"I was actually looking for Penelope." Luke motioned to the girl hiding behind your legs. When he caught her eye, Penelope grinned and let go of your hand, darting over to Luke and jumping into his arms. He lifted her easily, a small smile tugging at his lips as he handed her the stuffed toy she had left behind. 
"Oh." You hummed, "I didn't know you're a Hermes kid?"
"I'm unclaimed," Penelope chimed.
"For now," Luke's voice was gentle as he held Penelope in his arms. "And what were you doing up?"
"I was looking for a bandaid. I got lost." Penelope's words were punctuated by a soft yawn, and she nestled her head against Luke's shoulder, her exhaustion evident in every movement.
You hesitated, your gaze shifting to meet Luke's. "I found her by the canoes... near the dock."
The silence that settled between you felt heavy, suffocating almost as if it threatened to engulf you both. Luke found himself wandering back to the memories of you waiting for him at the dock during the summer nights and the regret that weighed heavily on his heart for never approaching you. He remembered the countless times he stood among the trees, watching you from afar, paralyzed by his own insecurities and fears.
Were you waiting for him there tonight? 
No, you couldn't have.
Guilt gnawed at him, threatening to consume him whole. "Listen, I-"
"I'm gonna go." You cut him off abruptly, your voice carrying a hint of tension. "Counsellor duties and all. I've got cabin checks in the morning so... you know, I gotta print papers... and stuff..."
Luke frowned at your lame excuse. "It's midnight."
"It's never too early to start now." You huffed defensively. "Bye, Penelope."
"Bye," Penelope mumbled sleepily, her hand lazily waving in your direction as you walked away, disappearing into the darkness of the night and the trail leading to the Aphrodite cabin.
As they made their way back to the Hermes cabin, Luke held onto Penelope tightly, feeling the weight of her small body in his arms. The night air was cool against his skin, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of shame for the unease he noticed in you earlier. He wanted to say something, to bridge the gap that seemed to have formed between you, but the words remained trapped in his throat.
Once they returned to the warmth of their cabin, Luke moved with a careful grace, mindful not to disturb the sleeping campers around them. He gently placed Penelope back on her bed and tucked her in. But as he began to step away, her small hand shot out, wrapping around two of his fingers. Luke froze, eyes wide with surprise.
"Luke?" Penelope's voice was barely above a whisper, but it cut through the silence of the cabin like a knife.
"Yeah?" Luke's voice was equally quiet.
"I think your soulmate is really cool." 
Penelope's words hung in the air, a simple statement that carried more weight than he could have ever anticipated.
Seven hours later, the memory of your face lingered in Luke's mind like an unshakeable ghost. Tossing back and forth in his bed, he tried to rid himself of the image, but it clung to him like a shadow. Each time he closed his eyes, your face flashed before him, haunting his thoughts. Even when he turned away, the spectre of Kronos lurked in the depths of his subconscious, a reminder of the choice that still loomed over him.
As morning broke over Camp Half-Blood, Luke found himself seated at the breakfast table, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of his fellow campers. Annabeth's presence brought a brief distraction.
She slid into the seat in front of him during breakfast and gave him a strange look, slightly out of breath from the morning rush, a half-eaten apple in hand.
"Hey," she greeted him, her voice carrying a note of concern. Pausing to tie back her braids, she studied him intently. "Who you looking for?"
Luke's response came too quickly, "No one," he replied, his voice strained. Thankfully, Chris had left earlier because he was in charge of the climbing wall in the morning, he wasn't there to tell Annabeth that Luke had been looking for you. His eyes scanned the sea of faces in the dining hall, a futile attempt to catch sight of you amidst the crowd. He felt pathetic. "What's up with you?"
Annabeth raised her brows. "Archery? Together? Remember? Or did you forget?"
"No. I didn't forget."
She only stared at him, skeptical.
"What?" he asked, "why do you keep looking at me like that?"
"Oh, I get it," Annabeth's smirk hinted at a newfound understanding, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She let out a laugh, the sound echoing through the dining hall, as she shook her head and rested her chin on her hand. "How long are you planning to keep this up for?"
Luke frowned, confused.
"This entire act you have with... you know," She didn't need to say your name for him to catch on. "It's getting out of hand, no?"
"I..." Caught off guard by her directness, Luke hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Choosing to play dumb, he feigned innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Right." Annabeth's knowing look pierced through his facade. She was always too perceptive for her own good. Fixing him with a narrowed gaze, she gave him a playful kick under the table, the impact enough to draw a startled reaction from Luke. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, she took another bite of her apple before teasing him further. "Well, Grover said you're killing yourself."
"What?" He blinked at her, taken aback, "I'm not killing myself. Grover's just being dramatic."
"I don't think so." She said, slowly, carefully forming her words. "I mean, if I had a soulmate..."
Luke's defences bristled at the mention of soulmates, a topic he preferred to avoid. "Is this all you wanted to talk about?" 
"I'm allowed to worry, "Annabeth reminded him, her words tinged with a gentle insistence. "Family, remember?"
The word 'family' carried weight, a reminder of their shared history and the bond they had forged over the years. It was a phrase Annabeth often employed to coax Luke out of his shell, to encourage him to confide in her. When they were younger, 'family' meant everything to Luke, thanks in no small part to Annabeth's influence.
"You don't need to worry," Luke assured her, though uncertainty gnawed at the edges of his resolve. "I know what I'm doing." But did he? Luke longed for the simplicity of a time before he met you when the idea of having a soulmate seemed like a distant fantasy. Now, every decision he made, every scar he bore, carried weight, knowing it could impact you in ways he couldn't comprehend.
"The least you can do is get to know her before she leaves."
Her words struck a chord within him, prompting Luke to cast a discreet glance around the dining hall, searching for you amidst the bustling crowd again.
"She's leaving?"
"Not forever, "Annabeth clarified with a chuckle, "Just on a quest. Search and rescue. Nothing fancy."
"...How do you know this?" he said after a moment.
"Chiron told me," Annabeth shrugged nonchalantly. "He also told me to tell you that the ceremony is tonight. I hope that doesn't kill you."
It did kill him a bit. At least, it felt like it did. Luke Castellan moved through camp with a sense of urgency, his strides purposeful yet tinged with a hint of apprehension. His fingers, calloused from years of wielding weapons, throbbed with a dull ache with the burn from the bow and arrow. 
Shoulders tense, skin prickling under the relentless glare of the sun, he scanned the bustling campgrounds.
The weight of his bow rested heavily on his shoulder, the familiar weight offering a semblance of comfort amidst the chaos. With practiced precision, he counted the arrows in his quiver, his movements fluid and sure. 
Then, he heard it—the sound that drew him like a siren's call. Your voice, lilting and laughter-filled, cut through the clamour of the camp, pulling him toward you like a magnet. There you stood, leaning against the doorway of the Hephaestus cabin, a clipboard clutched to your chest as you exchanged banter with Atticus, the skilled swordsmith whose craftsmanship had forged Luke's sword.
There was something different about you today, something delicate, more approachable than he had ever seen before. Last night, with Penelope, you had worn a similar expression—gentle, caring—but it was a side of you that Luke had never been privileged to witness. With him, you had always been guarded, reserved, as though afraid that he would cut or maim you.
As you scribbled something onto your clipboard, Luke found himself intrigued by the way your smile softened. It was a stark contrast to the confident facade you often wore, and for a moment, Luke felt a pang of guilt for pushing you away so soon.
Unbeknownst to you, you were drawing closer to Luke with each step, your path inexorably leading you toward him. Part of him craved to reach out, while another part hesitated, unsure of how to talk to you after all this time.
"Hey," Luke finally managed to utter as you drew near, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
You paused, a hint of surprise flickering across your features as you registered his presence. "Hi?" Your response was tentative, laced with a hint of confusion. After a moment's hesitation, you glanced down at your clipboard, "I'm not changing my rank on your cabin. I know three is low, but I was being generous."
A ghost of a smile tugged at Luke's lips. He was all too familiar with the chaotic nature of Cabin Eleven, where overcrowding was the norm and taking turns on the sleeping bags was treated as a game. "No, no. I just..." He trailed off, suddenly realizing he hadn't thought through the purpose of seeking you out. "I think we need to talk."
The confusion in your expression mirrored his own, and for a moment, there was a palpable sense of uncertainty hanging between you. "Talk?" you echoed.
Luke nodded, his gaze meeting yours earnestly. "Yes."
"You want to talk...? To me?" 
"I hope it's not that bizzare."
He tried to smile for you, but it felt wrong. Luke couldn't shake the weight of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach. He knew all too well that he hadn't been the embodiment of an ideal soulmate. In his mind, there lingered a pervasive belief that you harboured nothing but hatred towards him, something that you made obvious with every interaction between you two.
He wondered if this was the way you felt during the days he avoided you. 
Luke had noticed the shift. There was a calculated recklessness to your actions, a deliberate disregard for your own well-being that bordered on self-destructive. You stubbed your toe on roots and table legs, tugged too hard at your hair, and scraped your knees. You started to pull your punches while sparring with Clarisse, just enough to ensure that he felt the sting of every blow. You never blocked a hit in the face, a twisted satisfaction in the knowledge that your pain mirrored his own. Together, you would limp into the infirmary, bloodied and bruised where you'd be grinning far too wide, barely offering an ounce of guilt when Luke held ice to his face.
You lowered the clipboard from your chest, letting it rest against your side as you faced Luke. The warm rays of the sun filtered through the dense foliage above, casting dappled shadows that danced across your features and forced you to squint against the brightness. The noise of children's laughter and the sound of feet pounding against the earth filled the air.
Your voice cut through the noise, "You've made it pretty clear that you want nothing to do with me, Luke," you began, your words carrying the weight of unspoken hurt. "You can't blame me for being surprised."
As you began to walk toward the next cabin, Luke fell into step beside you, "Can you just give me a chance—" 
"I think you're too late for that."
"I know, I just—" Luke's words faltered, his thoughts tumbling over one another in a desperate attempt to articulate his feelings.
"I have nothing to say to you," you declared abruptly, stopping in your tracks and turning to face him. Luke skidded to a stop just in time, his gaze meeting yours as you regarded him with a mixture of sadness and frustration. "Seriously. I understand, okay? Did I come on too strong? Maybe. Yeah, I'll admit that" you acknowledged, your expression softening slightly. "Maybe coming to you hours after your shit quest was stupid, but I gave you space when you asked—"
"I just wanted to wish you luck on your quest," Luke interrupted, his voice gentle yet tinged with a hint of remorse.
With a quiet "Oh," you stepped back, your eyes momentarily averting his gaze. Were you embarrassed? Were you disappointed? Did you want to fight? 
"Sorry," you mumbled, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Thanks. I'm, uh, I'm seeing the Oracle after this. So... not technically a quest yet."
"It's your first one, right?" Luke's voice softened, an unspoken understanding passing between them.
"If you're worried about getting another scar, don't worry, I doubt it's anything dangerous," you reassured him, though your words held a hint of hesitation. There was a fleeting moment where your gaze lingered on him as if expecting a sudden change in his demeanour, but Luke remained still, his expression unreadable. "I just need to find Eros and go from there."
"Eros?" Luke's pace slowed, curiosity dancing in his eyes as he raised his brows in interest. Yet beneath the surface, a seed of annoyance sprouted, tendrils of jealousy winding their way through his thoughts. Your quest sounded far more intriguing than his own, and a bitter brew of envy churned in the depths of his stomach. Despite his inner turmoil, he attempted to play it off with a forced chuckle. "Has Cupid gone missing?"
"Apparently," you muttered bitterly under your breath, the resentment palpable in your tone. Luke sensed the edge to your words, though he pretended not to notice.
You sighed, "Is this conversation going anywhere? I really need to finish these cabin checks. I'm busy enough as it is."
Your words held an unspoken plea for him to leave, and though Luke understood, a pang of disappointment nagged at him. He couldn't entirely blame you; after all, he'd been an ass for months.
Both of you hesitated just outside the door to cabin eight, and Luke could feel your eyes on him. When you began to step away, his hand shot out, wrapping around your wrist. You froze, eyes wide with surprise.
“I also wanted to thank you,” He said, words rushing off his tongue.
“For what?” you asked.
“For last night.” He wasn't sure why he brought it up, why he felt like he needed you to know. "With Penelope."
"It was nothing," you said, voice barely audible. "We gotta look out for each other, right?"
Then, you left, you hurried up the short staircase to the cabin door, barely sparing him a glance before knocking. From his place, Luke could hear someone welcoming you into Artemis's cabin. He watched you until the door was shut behind you, vanishing you from his sight.
As the ceremony approached, the hues of twilight painted Camp Half-Blood in a golden glow, a serene yet foreboding atmosphere enveloping the surroundings. Luke's unease mounted with the setting sun, casting stretched-out shadows that seemed to carry something unnoticed. He couldn't shake the image of the figure from his nightmares, its monstrous visage haunting his thoughts with each passing moment. Yet, amidst the creeping darkness, there was an allure to the unknown, a temptation that beckoned him; its words, its promise of seeing the truth.
His gaze remained fixed on the white marble archway, half-expecting the nightmare to materialize at any moment, its twisted form emerging from the shadows with outstretched fingers. However, it was you who appeared, ascending the steps with graceful determination. Your presence seemed to dispel the shadows, bathing the surroundings in a radiant glow that eclipsed the fears that had once gripped Luke's heart. You were a blinding vice.
"Didn't think I'd see you here."
A sudden jab to his side sent him recoiling, a sharp pain shooting through his ribs. Luke winced, his gaze flickering to you as you flinched, subtly reaching for your own side. Quickly diverting his attention, he focused on the girl who had spoken.
Clarisse arched a brow at Luke, a smirk dancing on her lips. "Jumpy."
"Give him a break," Chris interjected, joining Luke's side and draping an arm over his shoulder. "Luke had a rough night, he lost a kid."
"Is that so?" Clarisse's grin widened. "And Chiron doesn't know? I'm assuming he doesn't otherwise, he wouldn't have picked you for this."
Luke scoffed and crossed his arms, "I'm the best swordsman at camp."
Clarisse's sarcasm was palpable. "Oh, I don't doubt it. The most humble, too," she retorted, unfazed by his glare. "But let's face it, a search and rescue isn't exaclty your thing anymore. You're more of an action kind of guy. You live off the glory of victory. Chiron knows that."
She was right, Chiron did know that. Which was why he rarely requested Luke to stand in unless there was a catch. Then, the flames in the torches flickered to life, and silence enveloped the candidates. Each demigod chosen by Chiron swiftly took their place, standing tall and resolute by a marble pillar, eager to showcase themselves as the prime choice for the quest. Anything for Kleos. Anything for glory.
Chiron nodded, his gesture sharp and decisive, as he placed a firm hand on your shoulder before addressing the assembly. 
"The Oracle has confirmed that this quest is a search and rescue," he stated, casting a brief, confident glance in your direction. "One where you will use all your best efforts to bring Eros back to the safety of Mount Olympus and restore the lost balance. I'm sure you know where to find him." His gaze then shifted to the rest of the candidates. "Here, I have selected some of our most compelling candidates from which you will choose one to join you on your quest, ensuring your success. Annabeth Chase, Atticus Brang, Chris Rodrigues, Clarisse La-"
As Chiron listed the candidates, you carefully evaluated your options, your eyes calculating. In the dim torchlight, Luke could just discern the thin line etched across your face, stretching from the end of your brow to your-
"I choose Luke."
The ensuing silence felt like something they could all drown in, leaving everyone stunned. Even Annabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise, though there was a glint of amusement in her eyes as she spotted Luke's bewilderment. Surely, he must have misheard. There couldn't possibly be any way you had chosen him, could there?
Chiron turned to you, his tone measured. "Are you sure?"
You never shifted your gaze from Luke, who refused to meet your eyes as he stared fixedly at the pillar across from him. Yet, the clenching of his jaw, whether from anger or annoyance or something else, was enough to elicit a satisfied smile from you.
"I'm sure," you affirmed.
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luveline · 26 days
Note
hey jadee! How are you??
could you write a next part for the coworker James au?? Maybe something like them going on a date or Sirius and remus suspecting that they are more touchy with each other <33
coworker james | ty for requesting!! fem
Remus Lupin is a long list of things, and nowhere on that list is idiot. Nor gullible, nor unobservant. He sees exactly how you and James are touching one another these days, but he’s decided to keep it to himself for now. 
After all, if James had cottoned on to his first tryst with Sirius there probably wouldn’t have been a second, and then a date; love is vulnerable in the beginning to embarrassment. 
Still, you both must know how ridiculous you’re being where James has taken your hand under the table. You’re struggling to hide the shyness in your smile, and James is all too brash as he pulls your hand further toward him. Your desk chairs squeak in sync. Whenever Remus gets up for a drink, he can see James pressing your hand to his knee as he leans against his desk to hide it. He’s just a second too slow, because Remus is suspicious of you to begin with. 
Remus gets up. Watches in gentle ridicule as his best friend of more than ten years thinks he’s convincing as James yawns and rests his head on the desk, sandwiching your hand between his knees. 
It’s adorable but stupid. Remus turns back as he walks off to watch you laugh in your seat. “Stupid,” Remus thinks you’re saying. Apt. 
Remus abandons James and his new sweetheart to find his own. 
Sirius is a salesperson, a rare role at their water testing company, but he does it well when he’s not messing around. Remus watches from afar as Sirius readies the elastic band-pen catapult with a mento, aimed at the side of their unwitting coworkers head. 
Remus creeps up behind him. “Don’t.”
Sirius flinches, his catapult suddenly aimed in the wrong place and set loose. The mento hits his computer with a thunk and bounces back into a steaming cup of coffee. 
“Remus,” Sirius says, turning to him with a frown, “we talked about this.” 
“You talked about this and I listened without accepting the terms. Can we go out for lunch?” 
Sirius’ facade of arrogance disappears. “Well, of course we can. Is there something wrong?”
Remus would like to have Sirius get up and hug him. Like, to grab him tightly and kiss him as he would at home, only both of them might die from embarrassment, and so he’ll have to ferry him to a restaurant for a half an hour of their knees pressed together, enough touch to get him to the end of the day when he can make Sirius climb into bed with him early. 
“You’re making that face,” Sirius says. “Like I’ve done something wrong. What did I do? I feel a distinct sense of injustice about this one considering we haven’t seen each other since I brought you your coffee this morning.” 
Sirius is nice to look at. As they get older, there are some marked changes in their appearances no one was expecting, Remus would wager. Sirius’ hair seems to get finer, his eyes darker, where Remus’ hair is better kept shorter, his middle softer. James has turned to muscle. He’s lean, still, but solid. All these changes, and yet no love is lost. 
“I’m sorry,” Sirius says, gently now, his eyebrows crinkling with confusion. 
“No,” Remus shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. You didn’t do anything. I’m just thinking about something.” 
“Something important, it looks like.” 
“It might be.” Remus puts his hand to Sirius’ neck. His hand is very familiar with Sirius’ neck and his soft hair, in the same way Sirius’ neck knows every callus of Remus’ fingers. “Lunch now?” 
“Sure, my darling.” Sirius puts on his jacket and takes Remus’ arm. “Let’s grab your coat.” 
“Not sure we should go back my way.” 
“Why’s that?” 
“I think something is actually, properly going on with James and Y/N.” 
“He clearly fancies her.” 
Remus slows their pace as they approach the doorway leading back toward the finance nook. “It’s a bit more than fancying,” Remus says under his breath. 
James is playing with your fingers. It’s hard to see, underneath the desk is dark, but it’s like what Remus tends to do with Sirius’ hands at the cinema, two hands holding your one, twiddling your fingers without purpose. Remus stands extremely still. 
“Can you send that to me?” you’re asking. “I can’t keep track of all these files. Who’s managing the account?” 
“It’s Cory, I think…” 
Mundane conversation, and then, “What are you doing?” 
“Nothing. Maybe it’s my fault. We need better organisation on our end, the shared onedrive is always changing, that’s not easy for you, or anyone.” He hums to himself, a breath. “You have lovely hands.” 
“Don’t say that.” 
“You do, you have… They’re really soft.” 
“I think you’ve rubbed the top layer of skin off,” you say, though your voice is lightening, almost thin. 
“If they weren’t so nice I wouldn’t have to.” 
“My fault again.” 
“Isn’t everything?” James asks. 
Sirius turns to Remus with a shake of his head. “What sort of indecent exposure is that?” Sirius whispers. 
Remus yanks him backward just as James’ head turns their direction. They hold their breath, grinning at one another —hiding in alcoves isn’t something they’ve had to do together in years. After a few moments, they peek their heads around at the same time. 
James has gotten up from his chair to stand behind you. They watch as he curls forward, wrapping and arm around your front, his lips at your ear. No clue what he’s said, but Remus can guess. You laugh and move away from James like he’s tickled you. 
“Come on, no one’s here,” James says, pulling you against his chest again with visible tenderness, “Remus must’ve gone to lunch.” 
“Or he’s making tea, and we’re about to be caught.” 
“He left his mug.” 
“But not his jacket.” 
“Oh, so smart,” James croons, his nose dipping into the curve of your neck. 
“And on company time,” Sirius says. “Well, you can wear my coat, handsome. Let’s leave them to it, should we?” 
Remus beams. That’s why he likes his Sirius as much as he does, besides a great many shoulder rubs and gifted first editions. He’s thoughtful, and kind, and not many people suspect it of him. 
Remus looks pointedly away from James where he’s tipping your head back to hold Sirius’ hand. “What do you want for lunch?” he asks. 
Sirius squeezes his fingers. Somewhere in the nook, James kisses you with your face upside down. 
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halucynator · 11 months
Text
False Fronts
part 1 of 4
Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader
Warnings: fake dating, arguing, not proof read and my writing 😔
Summary: Being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. You, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to Theodore Nott.
there will most definitely be a part 2
i will absolutely credit @berryzxx for helping me and giving me ideas for this haha
sorry if anyone's name is Jess ily i swear mwah <;33
he's such a cutie tehe
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: fluff angst
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You were going about your usual business, wandering the empty corridors of Hogwarts. The prospect of Defense Against the Dark Arts class, particularly with Umbridge as the professor, filled you with dread. Determined to delay your arrival as much as possible, you lingered, reluctant to head to your lesson.
As you strolled through the corridors, distant murmurs reached your ears. Tracing their origin, the faint echoes evolved into a heated dispute—a boy and a girl embroiled in a passionate disagreement. Step by step, you closed the distance until their fervent voices became distinct and clear.
"Look, Jess, it's over. O-V-E-R." You could hear the boy say to someone who you could only assume was called Jess.
"But I don't want it to be over! I still love you! Please, I'm sorry!" The girl, presumably Jess, begged.
"Well, you should've thought of that before you went and cheated on me." His response cut through the air, chilling in its icy tone, sending unwelcome shivers down your spine. Whoever he was, his disdain for Jess was palpable. His voice was unmistakable, you having heard it all your life. You knew who it was.
He sauntered off, leaving both Jess and you dumbfounded. Peeking around the corner to catch a glimpse of the boy, you inadvertently crashed into the very person—Theodore Nott—you were trying to observe.
As you collided with Theodore Nott, his demeanor shifted from the tense confrontation to one of mild surprise, his dark eyes locking with yours in an unexpected encounter. You stumbled back a step, catching your breath as you met his gaze, both of you momentarily stunned by the abrupt intersection.
"Y/N," Theodore uttered your name, a flicker of recognition dancing across his features before settling into a composed mask. "Sorry about that. Didn't see you there."
Your mind raced, trying to process the scene you'd just witnessed. His confrontation with Jess seemed far more serious than a typical teenage quarrel. Sensing your curiosity, Theodore's expression shifted a glint of something unreadable in his eyes.
"Listen," he started, his voice lowering to a hushed tone as if sharing a secret. "I need a favor, and I think you might be the perfect solution."
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, unsure where this conversation was heading. Theodore hesitated for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing.
"Jess won't leave me alone. She's been causing a scene ever since things ended between us. I need... I need someone to help me out, to pretend to be with me, just to get her off my back. It's purely for appearances, nothing more."
His request hung in the air, unexpected and oddly intriguing. Theodore Nott, asking for your assistance in a situation as serious as this. You weighed his words, contemplating the implications of what he proposed, your mind swirling with questions about why he'd chosen you for such a peculiar task.
"Please. I'll ask nothing more of you. Just some PDA. Slight touches, whatever you're comfortable with."
The allure of being close to him warred with the fear of playing a role in a situation that could easily spin out of control. Yet, despite the inner turmoil, a glimmer of hope danced in your chest—an opportunity to be near Theodore, even if it was only as part of a facade.
You'd been friends with Theo for what felt like forever. He trusted you, and that meant a lot. Sure, there was that fear of being stuck in the friend zone, but when you thought about it, the chance to help him seemed more important. He wanted this, and he was your friend. So, yeah, you wanted to be there for him.
After a moment's hesitation, you gathered your resolve and nodded in agreement, your voice surprisingly steady despite the fury of emotions raging within you. "Alright, Theodore. I'll help you out."
A flicker of relief crossed Theodore's face, a barely perceptible shift in his expression that hinted at gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. I owe you one."
As the weight of your decision settled in, you couldn't help but wonder about the implications of what you'd just agreed to. Theodore's proposal was both thrilling and nerve-wracking, and the realization that you were about to embark on a fake relationship with someone you genuinely cared for made your heart race with both anticipation and anxiety.
Theodore glanced around, as if to ensure no one else was nearby, before leaning in closer. "Let's meet later today and discuss how we're going to pull this off, alright? Preferably somewhere private."
Nodding in agreement, your mind raced with a million questions, but you managed to offer a reassuring smile. "Sure, Theodore. I'll be there."
As he walked away, you were left standing there, your mind spinning. The whole idea was thrilling, but it also felt like stepping onto a rollercoaster without knowing the twists and turns ahead. For now, all you could do was wait and meet up with Theodore and realise the depths of the situation you just put yourself into.
Either way, this fake dating thing just became your reality, and you had no clue where it would lead.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。*:☆
hello, hi! read part 2 here :))
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stsgluver · 7 months
Note
Can I get a uhhh...hurt/comfort Choso drabble where he snaps at the reader? Maybe because he's worried about Yuuji or something?
𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐆𝐎 — kamo choso
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synopsis. choso's parent's relationship is struggling and he doesn't know how to handle it.
wc. 1.4k
tags. very slight angst, happy ending, yuuji is choso's 10yo half brother, choso and yn are 18-19, both went to the same school, yn is yuuji's tutor, possible ooc choso I've never written for him before
a/n. MY FIRST CHOSO WRITING!! you never specified an au so I did a post-highschool!au-ish. I hope that's okay <33 thank you for requesting!!
2k event
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“can’t you tell i’m busy?” choso uttered through gritted teeth, not even bothering to glance up at you from his sketchbook he was hunched over on his desk. you’d been trying to tell him about the sweet old couple you always saw at the cafe and hadn’t seen for weeks until today. the two of you had become invested in their wellbeing and you’d thought that had been something he would’ve wanted to hear about.
“oh, sorry.” you frowned at how unintentionally pathetic your voice sounded. despite his cold demeanour, choso was probably the, if not the, sweetest person you’d ever met. he was always doting on his younger brother and showing up at your day job unannounced to bring you something whenever you tell him you’re having a bad day.
for all intents and purposes, he was the blueprint, so for him to lash out at you for no explicit reason was the total polar opposite to his usual personality.
“sorry?” choso mocked, leaning his head back to push his hands through his hair which was still damp from showering. still, he seemed more preoccupied with the ceiling than his concerned girlfriend who sat cross-legged on his bed, “geto’s going to be pissed that i’m behind on these designs and you constantly talking in my ear is not helping.”
after graduating, choso had initially taken on an admin role at a small tattoo parlour in town. a couple of months into the role, the owner, geto, had offered him a proper apprenticeship. you’d met geto on a handful of occasions and, from how choso had previously described him, he didn’t seem like the type to be annoyed over a few incomplete designs. especially not considering the additional hours and effort choso always puts into that place.
“you invited me over choso,” you pointed out. it was a sunday and, while you usually have work in the evenings, you’d been given the day off due to staff sickness. your boyfriend’s first message had been to excitedly offer for you to come over and stay the night at his which of course you said yes to.
somewhere between sending you that message and you making the fifteen minute drive to his house, he had a drastic change of heart.
choso sighed, picking up a different pencil to continue his sketch. “well, now i’m uninviting you.”
the bluntness in his tone had you blinking back tears. it was the first time he’d ever been so intentionally dismissive towards you. you didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response or an argument, if that was what he was after, and picked up your coat and left his room. 
you hadn’t needed to bring over any clothes or essentials since you’d come over so often his room had designated areas for your spare bits. as upset as he had made you, you weren’t about to scare him with a breakup threat because he was having a bad day and lashing out at you. 
“yn!” yuuji’s bright voice spooked you from your thoughts as you made your way down the stairs and you had to quickly wipe away any tears so as to not worry your boyfriend’s ten year old brother. choso’s golden personality was hidden by dark hair and an introverted front whereas yuuji’s was clear from his pink hair to his loud voice. “are you leaving already? you haven’t even tried my pancakes yet!”
one of yuuji’s incentives to attend the lessons that he didn’t like (ie. anything that wasn’t sport) was for him and choso to make homemade pancakes together. it was a weekly thing that you usually missed because of work and yuuji had been jumping up and down when he had found out you’d be there this evening.
your heart broke a little more at the fact you’d now be upsetting him.
“sorry yuuji,” his little face dropped slightly, bounce in his step gone as he clasped his hands together. you gently rubbed his shoulder, “i’ll be here for friday?”
yuuji scrunched up his nose. “that’s so long away!” it was also the day he’d be sat at the kitchen island with you for several hours doing catch up on his classes.
yuuji was the reason why you and choso had reconnected after graduating school – because when you agreed to tutor a student how could you have known that itadori yuuji was kamo choso’s little brother? you’d never been close in school so you hadn’t even known he had any relatives.
“i’ll bring you a treat,” you promised, making your way out of the house after saying a quick goodbye to his parents. 
the pouring down rain coupled with the ever flowing tears that stained your cheeks meant you had to stop your car several times on the way home just to ensure you wouldn’t crash. each and every time you checked your phone to see if he’d sent you a message, apologising and asking you to come back (which you would have in a heartbeat). there never was.
you didn’t see choso for the rest of the week – not until friday, your usual tutoring session with yuuji. 
he had messaged you a couple times, asking about your day and sending you several pictures of tattoos he had done himself which you always responded to quickly. but the conversations were short and filled with unanswered questions.
most days that you didn’t sleep around his, the two of you would call until one of you fell asleep. for the last five nights both of you had made excuses for why you couldn’t call. 
your relationship was still fairly new and this was the first spat that you had had. neither of you really knew how to cope with the aftermath or even the initial falling out. you missed your boyfriend, though, and you couldn’t avoid this forever.
“is yuuji here?”
you’d knocked twice before the door had been opened by choso. he looked just as tired as you felt (you’d done your best to cover it up with a bit of concealer and highlighter), and his shoulder length hair was messily framing his face. the hoodie he wore was a matching one that you had still hung up in your wardrobe at home.
“no,” choso shook his head, “he’ll be back from fushiguro’s kids in about fifteen.”
yuuji had spoken about megumi a lot to you – his best friend in the whole world, he’d described him as. he told you he’d bring him around one day to meet you.
“okay,” you said slowly and there was an awkward silence that settled between the two of you. on a friday night whilst you were with yuuji, their parents went out for their weekly date night, so right now it was just choso in his house and you at the doorstep. you take a step back, “i can just wait in my car till–”
“i think my parents are splitting up,” choso said quickly – almost too quickly for you to understand – and his eyes dropped down to the ground below, avoiding your worried gaze. “friday date nights are now for marriage counselling,” he continued when you didn’t say anything, still in shock from the confession, “jin… he’s a good guy, but my mum is stressed with work and–”
“and she’s taking it out on the people closest to her.”
choso picked his head up and there was an unspoken understanding that that was what had happened on sunday. he looked guilty as he nodded.
choso and yuuji were half brothers – choso’s dad had up and left when he was only a couple of years old and his mum had had to single-handedly rebuild their life. he didn’t want yuuji to have to experience any of the hardships he did in his broken family.
“i’m sorry for hurting you. i don’t want to lose you too,” your boyfriend apologised and you made the first step on closing the gap to wrap your arms around his waist. he smelt like home, you realised, nestling your face into his hoodie, and you didn’t want to go five whole days without him again.
you lifted your head up to press one kiss to the corner of his lips, “we’ll get through this together, no matter what happens.”
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lizdive · 2 months
Note
hi there! platonic aventurine, jing yuan, sunday, blade, welt, dan heng, boothill, argenti and dr ratio with a teen reader who is like fischl?
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Hi anon <33 I really wanted to finish this in one part because i loved this req in specific (i love fischl) but idk why I’m lacking sm motivation,,, so I decided to split this into 2 parts (hopefully) i hope you don’t mind,,, thank you so much for requesting <33 if you’re unsatisfied just tell me and i’ll redo it !! <33
notes 𐙚 gender-neutral reader — "you" + "royal" + "they/them" used to refer to user ,, reader is a teenager ,, user is based off of "fischl" from the game genshin impact ,, platonic relationships ,, mention of fu xuan in jing yuan’s part ,, not my best work i’m sorry ,, mention of robin in sunday’s part ,, not proofread ignore typos
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⭑ When he first met you, AVENTURINE was a bit taken aback with your speech and eccentric character in general. You claim to be royalty from a far away world, and while Aventurine didn’t quite believe it at first there was a small part of him that was lowkey kind of convinced.
⭑ He was a bit concerned that someone like you was so high ranking in the IPC because he knows the IPC is probably exploiting you especially because you seem to be a bit naive, so he’ll start watching over you.
⭑ He’ll gradually get used to your persona and understand what you say. He might need a second to process if you drop a huge paragraph of dialogue on him, but with every conversation and interaction he gets faster.
⭑ Takes one to know one — AVENTURINE can tell you’re trying to cope with something that’s happened in the past via roleplaying this character you put on, and he won’t be the one to burst your bubble. In fact, he’ll try to protect it for as long as possible.
⭑ Nobody’s going to make fun of you while he’s around. If anyone tries to reality check you, he’ll lowkey gaslight them into thinking that everything you say is real. Yeah, you’re a royal. He’s also actually seen this far away land you speak of, so that person is just being an ignorant hater !!
⭑ If your character is based off of someone from a book like Fischl, AVENTURINE will find that book and read it to better understand your references and persona as a whole. Likes seeing how you get happy when he references something.
⭑ If you ever feel insecure because of your past, AVENTURINE will be there to comfort you. He’s good at picking up signs when it comes to you because he practically had your character memorized. He’ll try to distract you from your past but if you do want to open up and vent he’ll be there to listen.
⭑ Give him a role in your little world and he’ll play it scarily well. Would probably do best as a royal advisor or assistant.
⭑ Buys you literally anything and everything that could fit your aesthetic and world. Fancy gems to add to your riches because every royal needs to have riches!! Buys you clothes too that you think is fit for royalty of your world.
⭑ You practice archery next to him while he practices gun shooting and it’s nice bonding time,,
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"I, [Name], [Insert desired title here], descend upon this land by the call of fate an— Oh, you are also a traveler from another world? Very well, I grant you permission to travel with me."
"They’re saying that it’s nice to meet you."
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⭑ Was not in any way bothered or confused by your eccentric mannerisms. JING YUAN’s pretty used to the unique speech style due to Fu Xuan, so he understands what you’re saying or at least gets the basic idea.
⭑ Oh? You’re a royal from a far away distant land? Yes yes, how nice. But royals do need to complete their training as well, no? As a cloud knight, he’s impressed with how you easily climbed up those ranks. Praises you whenever you somehow jump up a rank quicker than the last.
⭑ He doesn’t really suspect too much of your personality and that you’re putting up a front until you slip out and go ooc which makes him do a double take mentally. When you get all flustered and a bit distressed, he’ll reassure you by acting like nothing happened.
⭑ It’s then that he really pays attention to the little story you have going on with the world you live in. If he ever forgets something important, he’ll apologize and tell you that he never meant to insult your highness.
⭑ Another one that would protect your little bubble. I don’t think anyone would really want to say something bad about a high ranking cloud knight but even if they wanted to if JING YUAN or Yanqing were to hear they wouldn’t know peace,,
⭑ He can play the role you give him should you give him, especially as a general. You tell him about someone trying to attack your kingdom and he’ll reassure you he’s got this !!
⭑ Keeps a piece of paper in his pocket that has details about your persona if it’s based off of a character from a book. Also probably has a timeline on all your 'historical' events — sometimes he scares you because it feels like he knows more about your world than you do,,
⭑ He finds your keen instincts and intuition a bit intimidating. Have you ever thought of learning a thing or two from Fu Xuan? He always trusts you whenever you feel uncertain about a plan or idea because somehow you’re almost always right in the end.
⭑ Becomes your archery mentor and will watch over you as you train. Your skills are impressive and he finds amusement in the way you pose after a full combo.
⭑ If you feel upset because of your past, JING YUAN will comfort you and tell you that you don’t have to grow up — you’re still young and deserve to enjoy what remains before you become an adult and have to face the world. He’ll always be proud and support you no matter what.
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"I hear the voice of fate, speaking my name in humble supplication..."
"Hm? Care to share what fate whispers?"
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⭑ The talk of an eccentric worker in the reverie hotel had easily reached SUNDAY’s ears, and wanting to see who this eccentric worker was, he decided to wander around during his free time to catch them in action.
⭑ It wasn’t hard to find you as you were a bit loud. Pushing the cart of luggage while speaking of your magical kingdom to the guests as they nod along, clearly invested and assuming you were a storyteller. Once you had brought the guests’ luggage to their room and left, SUNDAY made his way to you to talk with you in interest. You had quite the imagination and spoke in a very sophisticated manner for your age.
⭑ Wasn’t at all phased by the paragraphs upon paragraphs of dialogue you would drop on him, replying easily and holding the conversation well. He noticed you seemed happier the longer he spoke to you.
⭑ While some guests may be annoyed by your behavior, he’ll remind them — if he’s present — that penacony is the land of festivities and many different people visit. Plus, you’re young and free to be who you want to be. If you’re really get picked on though he’ll deal with them personally.
⭑ SUNDAY is scarily observant so he knows you’re playing a character. He doesn’t really acknowledge it too much or confronts you, though, since everyone in penacony is also technically playing the character they wish they were.
⭑ Because of that, SUNDAY will let you do as you please. He’ll indulge you and will play the role you wish for him to play. He’s good at acting, so he can play whatever you wish. It reminds him of when he’d play pretend when Robin when he was younger.
⭑ Has everything about your character memorized. However he knows what to say and what not to say so he doesn’t fluster you by knowing more than you. Will also cover for you if you accidentally go ooc.
⭑ Your ability to rise up in the ranks so quickly will eventually make you work directly under him at some point and when that happens trust that people will refer to you with a royal title. He may indulge you a bit too much,,,
⭑ When you open to SUNDAY about your past, he kind of just. . . Dodges the subject after that. Doesn’t mention it at all. May act like your father a bit and call you his [insert royal title here] — you never realize it’s him trying to reassure you that you needn’t worry about growing up and being mature because of the role you’ve given him.
⭑ Gets a bit worried for your safety when you practice archery, but he also appreciates the fact you can take care of yourself should you face any dangers (especially in the dreamscape.)
⭑ Takes your advice and warnings a bit seriously because of how good your intuition and keen instincts were. (He didn’t listen ONCE and he paid the price.)
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"What does it take to rile a royal? ...If you must know, it is those who cannot recognize my true identity. But it is no great loss, for solitude is the noble's lot, so long as I do not lose the nobility of my soul..."
"How wise you are, your highness."
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⭑ He has no idea when it happened, but one day BLADE became your 'knight' and he has yet to comment on it. Not really the best knight as he doesn’t really stay close to you on the daily however also a really good knight as he protects you during missions to the point where you don’t use a single arrow.
⭑ Can understand what you day, does not translate for other people. You’re the yapper and he’s the listener. Doesn’t reply like 95% of the time but when he does it’s really flat and monotone which you don’t mind because he’s the big scary knight !!
⭑ Gets teased by the other stellaron hunters for indulging you, but he doesn’t really care too much. He can’t leave you to die during missions, can he? You’re way too young to hold your own properly so he’s there to make sure the number of stellaron hunters doesn’t decrease (that’s his reasoning don’t ruin it pls.)
⭑ Said this in other posts: not the best at comforting so when you open up, he’s kind of just,,, there. He’s also a bit distant sometimes but after that he’ll try to put an effort into playing his role so you don’t get upset or feel like he’s ignoring you.
⭑ Nobody thinks of making fun of you or your interests because BLADE’s always standing behind you — even if you’re tall for your age it’s still very scary to have him just staring at the person with a dead look.
⭑ Doesn’t research your character like the others — he learns as he goes. He doesn’t even have the chance to mess up because he just doesn’t talk much so he can’t mess up.
⭑ Not much to say for Bladie he just goes with it,,
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"Dusk and dawn but fleeting shadows are. Once more, the twists of fate have led you into my everlasting night."
"…Good morning."
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nichoswag · 1 year
Note
Hey Rei! I've been thinking for a while if I should send a prompt request or not, but here we go. 😂 (Hope you'll like it lol)
So my idea is #15 "Please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there." with a fake dating trope. And the idol who first came to my mind was Heeseung, I feel like he would match this well! You're free to decide the atmosphere of the story, I, personally was just feeling funny haha. I hope you'll have fun with this request! <33
flirt . lee heeseung
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prompt: "please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there."
pairing: fake bf!heeseung x gn reader
warnings: fake dating au, lots of flirting, kissing, teasing, like one light innuendo
song rec: into it - chase atlantic (warning: song is extremely sexual)
a/n: hii marine! admittedly i did push this to the top of my list because i feel a bit more inclined to complete reqs from my moots ♡ sorry it took so long, but i did have a lot of fun with this request!! i hope you enjoy :))
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if someone were to ask you how you got in this situation, you honesly couldn't say you have a clue.
walking into your childhood friend's parents' house hand-in-hand with him, you're still questioning how you got here.
well, to put it simply, you and heeseung grew up together. you even went to college together, and now you're back home together. but, you're now actually together.
at least, that's what you've told both of your parents, after constant nagging and pleading from both ends for you both to date someone. so, your solution was to pretend you're both dating each other.
now, you're shaking due to the nerve of the roles you're both about to play.
heeseung squeezes your shaking hand that's placed in his, sending you a reassuring smile. "hey, it's fine. we're only doing this to get them off our backs."
your heart flutters at his smile and the kind action.
mrs lee opens the door for the both of you. "____! it's so nice to see you," she exclaims, pulling you into a hug.
"moooom," heeseung whines. "what about me?"
she chuckles. "oh, hush. i haven't seen ____ in years."
as she welcomes the two of you into her house, you realize how natural this feels after all. besides, you and mrs lee have always been close, as your moms are best friends, so she's like a second mom to you anyway.
heeseung leads you through the wide hall into the large dining room. sending you a wink, he pulls back your chair for you. you send him a weird look as you sit down, but he ignores it and pushes your chair in, taking a seat next to you.
diagonal from where you and heeseung sit, your fathers are arguing about who's lawnmower does the better job. you chuckle at their pettiness as your mother chastises your dad for picking a fight over such a stupid thing. things haven't changed at all.
you're immersed in a conversation with heeseung until someone takes a seat across from you. it's heedo, your fake boyfriend's older brother.
and your childhood crush.
there's a girl sitting next to him, and they're holding hands, just as you and heeseung were a few minutes ago.
heeseung seems to notice your curiosity, because he leans closer to speak into your ear. "that's yeri, heedo's girlfriend." he takes your hand again and squeezes it. "are you okay? we can leave if you're uncomfortable," he offers, knowing about your long-term crush on his brother.
you shake your head. "i'm alright. just surprised."
he nods, understanding. "are you over him? i mean, you've dated since you last saw him."
"i think so, actually." you smile, nostalgia hitting you suddenly. "he was my childhood crush, so i guess it's just weird for me. it's not like i haven't seen him with a girl before."
you remember the time you saw him making out with a girl at a party him and heeseung had thrown in high school while yours and their parents were on a trip. you'd then gotten drunk on wine to the point of throwing up, and heeseung had held your hair back half the night at your house while you threw up.
then, when he brought his first girlfriend for dinner with his parents. heeseung had invited you over, not knowing he was there with his girlfriend, and you'd spent the evening crying in his room while he held you.
heeseung grins at you, seemingly remembering those nights too. you feel eternally grateful to have someone like him in your life.
he presses a kiss to your temple, seemingly trying to keep up the act. "you hungry, cutie?"
you nod shyly, blushing as he ruffles your hair. "starved."
within a few moments, heedo and heeseung get up to help their mother bring plates of food from the kitchen and set them in the middle of the large dining table.
yeri stares at you across the table. you feel self-conscious as she eyes you up and down, as if she's analyzing how big of a threat you are to her.
heeseung catches a glance at her eyeing you as he sits down, sighing as he realizes what's going on. he glares back at her, and she just smiles innocently, fixing a napkin on her lap. she glares at you as she kisses heedo on the cheek.
"what's her problem?" heeseung whispers in your ear.
you shrug. "i have no clue. I've literally just been sitting here."
he rolls his eyes. "i hope she doesn't cause a scene."
dinner does end up going without a hitch. besides a few more glares from yeri when heedo asks about your experiences in university and settling into your new job, you feel at ease. even when yours and heeseung's parents ask how you two began dating, you're able to answer the questions just as the two of you practiced earlier.
you notice heeseung looking at you with an expression you don't recognize throughout dinner. almost like admiration, except his eyes are fiery. you just think he's playing the role of your loving boyfriend.
mrs lee brings out a tray of sweets. "anyone hungry for dessert?" she practically sings.
heeseung grins and leans close. "mine's already here." he places a hand on your knee.
you choke on your own spit, and he pats your back. "please stop flirting with me, my parents are right there," you whisper-yell into his ear as everyone stares at you both.
your hear giggles, and you realize everyone must have heard what you said.
your mother smiles sweetly at the both of you. "don't worry, we're not judging you. the two of you are adorable."
you blush furiously, and heeseung ruffles your hair again.
yeri huffs from across the table, and you realize she must be jealous of the attention you two are receiving as a couple, not insecure of her relationship. she busies herself with fixing heedo's collar aggressively.
he grabs her hands as the attention turns to them. "what is your problem? you've been like this all evening. can't you just act normal?"
heeseung stifles a laugh from beside you and you nudge him with your elbow. "what's funny?"
he leans over to whisper in your ear for the third time tonight. "just that they're seemingly an actual couple and they get along worse than us."
you giggle, and yeri turns to glare furiously at you. "what the fuck is funny, you callous bitch?"
there are gasps all along the table, and heeseung nearly stands up defensively before you grab his arm to pull him down.
"don't think i haven't noticed you flaunting you perfect boyfriend all night." she laughs mockingly. "you're like a three. how did you manage to pull that guy?"
"get out." heedo glares at his probably soon-to-be-ex girlfriend, motioning towards the hall that leads to the front door.
"what?" her tough front cracks as she wears a scared face. "heedo-"
"i said. get. out." he gets up, pulling her up with him and marching toward the hallway.
you can hear the yelling and screaming still. "i've told you before, she's like a fucking SISTER to me! who are you to talk to my family like that?" "SHE WAS TAUNTING ME WITH HER PERFECT GUY-"
eventually, the screaming is muffled as it seemingly continues outside.
mrs lee gains her composure and proceeds with setting out the dessert. "kids these days are so dramatic. minus my ____, of course. you're an angel."
you smile at her. "thanks, mrs lee."
her smile falters. "honey, why don't you just call me 'mom?' i'll be your mother-in-law eventually, anyway."
you nearly choke again, and heeseung stifles a laugh. "just go with it," he mouths.
you smile again. "sure, mom. thank you for the dessert."
dinner wraps up rather quickly after the dramatic scene. heedo returns at the very end, looking very disheveled as you and heeseung make your way up the long spirals stairs to his room, where you'll both be staying the night.
heeseung lets out a long laugh after he closes the door to his childhood bedroom, nearly slumping against it. "that was a train wreck. heedo has terrible taste in girls."
you giggle. "he should've just chosen me when he had the chance."
heeseung's smile fades. "no, i rather like having you to myself."
your feel a twinge of pain in your heart at the way his smile drops. "hee, i was just kidding. i told you, i'm over him. i think i like someone else now, anyway."
the smile that began to creep onto his face at the first part of your speech drops again as he hears the last part. "oh." his shoulders slump, face looking dejected.
you catch his face in your hands as he turns away from you. "hee, do you really not realize who i'm talking about?"
his eyes widen in realization. "you mean..."
"yes, i mean i like you, lee heeseung." you grin at him.
before you realize it, he's taking you into his arms and picking you off the ground and you're spinning through the air. you both giggle as you come back onto the ground.
now flustered, you look away from him "so..."
"i like you too, ____. i thought that was pretty obvious." he ruffles your hair yet again, pulling you close by your waist.
you giggle. "it kinda was."
he looks at you for a moment, gentle gaze flickering between your eyes and lips. "can i kiss you?"
you nod, and he leans down to connect your lips gently. you wrap your arms around his neck, one hand resting on the nape of his neck, and the other tangling in his hair.
he pulls away and you lean your head against his chest, breathless.
"fuck, i think i might be in love with you." the words leave your mouth before you can even think about what you're saying.
he smirks down at you as you meet his eyes, yours wide. "yeah? what makes you think that?"
you inhale sharply. "you've been there for me through everything since we were kids. my heart hurts when you're sad, i feel angry when you're angry, and i'm happy when you are. also, i always find myself missing you when you're not around. i think that's love."
he smiles, eyes shining brightly. "if that's the case, i love you too."
minutes later, you're settled in a pair of heeseung's clothes, waiting on his bed for him to come back from the bathroom.
as he enters the room, your heart races. you've spent nights together as friends, no biggie. but now, it's the real deal.
he sprawls out on the bed beside you and turns to look at you. "cuddle?" he asks, opening his arms. you practically dive into them as they wrap around your body tightly.
you realize you feel safe here. that to you, there's never been any place safer than in his arms.
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©nichoswag | do not copy my work or repost onto any other platform.
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chokepoet · 1 year
Text
Cruelty & Empathy 18+
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gif by @romulussy
Summary | A night alone in the office has Roman and his assistant escalating their tension past a point of no return. The aftermath of which leads to confessions that will change the trajectory of their relationship forever.
Genre | Angst, Fluff, Porn With Plot
Content | anxiety, biting, blood, bondage, choking, crying, dom/sub tones, degradation, dirty talk, mentions of past physical abuse, power struggles, thigh riding, sadomasochism, slapping, spitting
Word Count | 8.5k
A/N: Y’all this fic is fuckin’ filthyyyy… but like in a romantic way??? I wasn’t going to share it but my best friend insisted. If y’all hate this I volunteer as tribute for boar on the floor lmao
Roman Roy’s Office | 10:33 pm
He was sprawled out across the couch as if this were his family’s private estate. It might as well have been. The building’s climate control always seemed to be blowing a peculiar air. One that felt like his father breathing down the back of his neck at all times. Left calf draped over the backrest, right hand cradling a whiskey, and head tilted back over the armrest. His once-slick hair now hung limp, with loose strands reaching for the carpet below. His upside-down gaze willed me to stop my attempts at meeting our deadline and to focus solely on him instead.
My bank account's dwindling had my morals emaciated. They’d weakly played tug of war with my last braincell when I'd accepted Roman’s job offer nearly two years prior. About 6 months into being his assistant, I found myself earning another role: his best friend. His only friend. My typing picks up speed as I contemplate what level of fucked-up I had to be in order to actually enjoy this job. I decide it must have been top-tier when my thoughts drift to the one Roy that had me feeling this way.
In the past 22 months, I came to understand Roman better than anyone else ever had. He somehow wormed his way into gaining just as much insight into me as well. It made me feel strangely protective over him. Oddly enough, he seemed to reciprocate. We still rarely aloud ourselves vulnerability in the presence of the other. We much preferred self-immolation. I don’t think he ever intended to grow so attached to me. He certainly would never admit to it. If you had asked me if the feeling was mutual, I’d lie through my teeth.
I loved him madly.
I don’t exactly know when or how it happened. I do, however, vividly remember when I first realized he held something soft for me.
Siena, Italy | 4:21 am
He was drunk off his ass, his head resting on my shoulder. He had been leaning into my frame for support long before he even needed it. Roman mumbled something about liking me because I was the only “sad sack of shit” in the office who could make him laugh. I asked him why I was a sad sack and not just a regular sack. He blew out a huff of air, causing his lips to trill. The sound was quickly preceded by the flipping of his wrists in a few circles.
“Isn't it obvious?” I nudged my shoulder against his head.
“Because I work for your sorry ass?”
He clumsily tapped the tip of my nose with his right pointer finger, nearly blinded my left eye in the process.
“Bingo, bongo, banjo.” The nonsensical words tumbled out and the rest of his drink tumbled in. “Itstheeyes.” I’d been unable to make out the slurred syllables mumbled just under his breath. For all I knew, they could’ve been Latin for ‘bastard’.
“What?” He dropped his now-empty glass into a historic fountain as we passed. I stopped to try and fish it out, but he dragged me away. I remember wondering if he had made a wish on it in his drunken haze. Rich and careless enough to pretend it was a penny. Maybe that had been why he was so adamant about me not retrieving it. My mind wandered as I pondered what Roman could have possibly wished for. His father's approval? An endless supply of luxurious Korean face creams? A pair of stunning Italian supermodels to lean into instead of me?
Tripping over his own two feet, I instinctively gripped his bicep. Stubborn as ever, he shoved me and muttered something along the lines of 'fuck off'. God forbid he’d take my help. Throwing my hands up, I left him to walk alone a few steps ahead of me. He weaved for a while before slowing his pace until he could lay his head back on my shoulder.
A beat passed, where the only sound was the soft crunch of our shoes against the weathered cobblestone. I caught one of his bleary eyes peeking over at my face. Content with whatever it was he found, he nodded to himself.
“Yep.” He popped his lips on the 'p' and absentmindedly kicked a pebble from our path. “It's the eyes. Sad sack of shit eyes. You've got 'em.” The laugh that had left me seemed much too loud as it ricocheted off every crumbling brick ahead of us. Roman smiled proudly for a moment. “I love your laugh.” The words were said mostly to himself. My cheeks warmed considerably.
“Really? It's obnoxious as all hell.” His brows furrowed, and he shook his head.
“No, it's fuckin’—fuck off. No, it's not.” He kicked another stone. “It's pretty. Pretty like… like your face.” Pretty. “Nothin’ like a hyena.” Hyena? “I think I'm gonna puke.”
He did.
Roman’s Office | 10:47 pm
“Hi.” A small voice lounging across from me pulls my attention. I look up from the computer and rest my head in my hand, my elbow propped on his desk.
“Hi.” I smile softly with a raised brow.“Need somethin’?” The grin that breaks across his features is almost childlike. His big brown eyes could even be mistaken for innocent; I knew better.
“As a matter of fact…” Extremely happy to have garnered my attention, he pulls himself to a sitting position. “Yes!” With a swift motion, he slams his whiskey onto the coffee table. The sharp sound of glass on glass reverberates throughout the room.
“Yes?”
“Yes?” His voice drops into a cartoonish impersonation of my own. His hand was still clasped around his drink for some reason. Flipping his face up to me with a saccharine simper, he adds, “Will you kindly suck my cock?”
“Will you kindly go fuck yourself?” My impression of him was just as cartoonish as his of me. The hand holding my head returns to typing. Groaning loudly, he lets go of his glass to dramatically fall back into the couch.
“Will you? ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ bored!” He drags out his words until they turn to whine. “This is fucking boring. Aren’t you bored?”
“Yes, you’re extremely boring.”
“Hurr-hurr.” He mocks while crinkling his nose. “I’ll have you know I’m anything but and am widely known as delightful company.” A snort escapes my nose and Roman smiles.
“Really? I thought you were widely known as a terrible person.” He rolls his eyes as I quote his cousin.
“Yeah, yeah fuck you.” He gives me the finger. I flip him off in return. “The fuck does Nosferatu fuckin’ know anyways?” The nickname makes me chuckle and has Roman mimicking Greg. “Oh, I—I couldn’t help but—couldn’t help but notice that my gargantuan height may be alarm—alarming the schoolchildren. I—is that why Iverson is um c—crying? Or is he like, I—I mean, is he… y—ya know… special?”
The laughter still bubbled up uncontrollably even as I tried maintaining focus on the task at hand. My passive interest towards Roman was annoying him to no end.
“Come on! I want entertainment! Entertain me, woman!” I roll my eyes. A cinnamon tinted stare was steady burning apertures into my features, willing me to stop ignoring him. “Come—Come on…” His hands outstretch in my direction, middle and index finger beckoning quickly. “Come show big daddy watcha got.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, my typing stops and I fully turn my attention towards him. His face contorts in a grimace already knowing what was to come. My brows raise as I slowly repeat his words back to him.
“Come show big daddy what I got?” Roman’s hands drag down his face and he groans loudly as soon as big leaves my mouth.
“Oh, fuck y—shut the fuck up.” He sinks lower into the couch with high hopes of it swallowing him whole. The smile that breaks across my features is downright malevolent. I couldn’t recall having ever seen him this embarrassed. Surprising, considering all the lewd shit he spews at me daily. There was something sick inside me that enjoyed it. The urge to play cat rather than mouse overtakes me.
“No, no, no. I just want to understand you clearly, Mr. Roy.” Our dynamic had never been much of a professional one. I couldn’t recall the last time I had addressed him so formally but I wanted to really get under his skin. Oddly enjoying my place in its prickled embrace. Rising from my chair, I place both palms on the desk and lean forward with a pout. “Are you saying you wanna shut me up with your cock, big daddy?”
“I’m going to fucking kill myself.” He was pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Aw! Weawwy, Daddy? Jus' 'cause I won't suwck yo big thick cock?” At that, a cushion flies towards my head. I narrowly catch it as I’m doubling over in laughter. He’s standing now, hands overtly animated.
“I swear to GOD, I’m going to fucking—fuck! Fuck you! Out the window!” He’s angrily pointing towards the giant window panes beside him. “I’m going to throw you out the fucking window!”
“Oh wow, you’re gonna fuck me out the window?” His face was the deepest shade of crimson I had ever seen it.
“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to Christ I’ll—“
“You’ll what?” I was doing a piss-poor job at stifling my laughter.
“I just fucking told you. Ass through glass.” He dismissively waves a hand in the air.
“Bullshit.” Finally looking at me, I cross my arms. His eyes flicker to my chest. “You don’t have the balls.”
“Are you saying I don’t have the balls to murder you?” The words come out in a bemused laugh. “I could murder the fuckin’—murder the shit out of you. Easily.”
“Okay.” With a shrug of my shoulders, I feel a dark coil in the back of my mind start to twist. “Prove it.”
“Prove it? You want me to—to what? Throw you through the goddamn window right now?”
I smirk back at him with a shrug, an inkling I had about him spilling to the forefront of my mind. It colors my vision and stains my tongue. If there was ever a time to find out if my suspicions held true, for some reason, I decided that now was the time. The office was definitely empty at this hour, and the privacy blinds were drawn, so no cameras. Risky as all hell, but if things go south, maybe I could play it off as riffing. I could be quite the convincing liar when I needed to be. My mother saw to that.
“See? I knew it.” With hands on my hips, I tilt my head to size him up. My tone shifts into something silky as sin. “You won’t do shit.” The air begins filling with static causing Roman’s lips to twitch. “You and I both know it. Don’t we…” I slide out from behind the desk, feeling taller as I grow closer. Feeling bolder seeing him swallow. “Romulus?” Using his father’s nickname for him causes his nostrils to flare. A clench in the jaw, a quick exhale. I fucking knew it. “So why don’t you just…” Fully standing in front of him now, I look down with a smirk “sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up for once in your life.”
The air was now overcome with static. Thick and heavy. The subjugated desire etched into his features felt so familiar to me. While I had never seen him this way, or anyone else for that matter, I myself had given that look many a time. That inkling I had was no longer an inkling. It had grown roots that smiled with wicked teeth; I was right.
The electric silence between us started to prick at my skin. My bottom lip twitches as it fought against every instinct to fill the silence with some form of an apology. To try and turn my sudden shift from dominance back into normalcy. His eyes dart to my mouth immediately; he knows.
“Make me.” His head slowly tilts upwards, as do the corners of his lips. The heat that had been slowly brewing between us for well over a year licks up my thighs. He was sneering up at me as we stood toe to toe. His burnt espresso eyes had my mind spiraling in their steam. The look on his face said everything. He saw me, he had me, he called my bluff, he won.
No.
My hand wound itself in the silky hair at the nape of his neck and I use it to jerk his head back. His jaw immediately goes slack. Something akin to a whimper escapes his throat. Surprise has my brows raising and Roman feeling embarrassed. His heavy lids fall and he turns himself away. Reaching up with my free hand, I grip his jaw until he’s facing me once again.
“Look at me.” He does in an instant and I’m flooded by a mixture of emotions. Relief, power, love. I never want to forget how he looks beneath my hands. The way his pupils eclipse the hazel of his eyes. The way his freckles scatter under the pinkish hue of a blush. The way his lips part slightly as his breath shakes out across them. Just as my eyes dance across his every feature, his do mine. Is he etching my features into his own memory?
He attempts to lean forward but I hold him steady. Roman wanted to kiss me but I wanted to tease. I press my lips beside his mouth before trailing them along the smooth path of skin leading to his ear. Sucking his skin into my mouth, I bit gently. A soft sound of content slips from his lips, so I trace up the shell of his ear with my tongue. Upon my return, I bite down once more; harder this time. Just as my teeth release him, the fist tangled in his hair gives a sharp tug. His hum bleeds into a moan that has me squeezing my thighs together. A cool plume of air billows past my lips along the now damp skin; goosebumps erupt immediately. I slide my hand from his jaw until my fingers wrap around his throat to hold him.
“Do you like this, Rome?” The soft whisper has him murmuring his satisfaction. “Come on…” I lightly squeeze his throat. “Be a good boy and use your words.” When I pull away to look at his face, I find his lids are nearly shut.
“Y-yeah.” He swallows in an attempt to steady himself. It doesn’t. “Y-yes, I like it.” He could barely look me in the eyes and it made my stomach flip in the best way possible.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this.” The words slip out before I have the chance to stop them. He inhales sharply, and the air seems to rattle through his skull. His eyes quickly leave mine as his face warms considerably. My heart beats as if it were trying to rip itself from my chest and collide with his. The blood rushing in my ears was chanting 'I love you' over and over again. My teeth dig into my cheek until the taste of blood envelops my tongue. I'm raging a war with my own body in silence. This newfound power was locking talons with my own subjugated nature and death spiraling through the emotion in my chest.
His pulse was racing underneath my thumb. My voice cascades over his flushed skin as I let feather light kisses rain upon him. His first name glides along the tip of his right cheek, his last over the tip of his left. Hovering just out of his reach, I whisper into his open mouth.
“Tell me what you need.” He desperately tries to press his lips into mine but I just pull back. He grunts in frustration.
“Just fuckin’ kiss me already.”
“No.” Releasing my grip, I shove him into the couch. He trips backwards, gracelessly collapsing into the cushions. I climb onto his lap with my knees pressed to either side of his hips. With one hand, I weave my fist around his tie and pull him to me. My other grips his jaw tightly. “You wanna try that again?” His jaw clenches beneath my fingers. His eyes were wild as they flared up at me. Suddenly, his hands lock onto my hips, hard. He pushes his face into my fingers until the tips of our noses bump together.
“I said, just fucking kiss me and I meant do it now.” His words were caught somewhere between a hiss and a growl. He never could handle the word no, so his response shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. The power I’d been holding over him was now leaking through the lace under my skirt. My thighs instinctively flex around him and it has him digging his fingers in harder. A liquid heat spreads through my chest at the thought of later seeing the bruises he was surely leaving behind.
“Well?” My teeth clench and the hand holding his jaw twitches. The attitude lacing his voice drug it’s nails up my spine as I’m reminded of how entitled he could be. He wasn’t supposed to be the one making demands anymore. His smile twitches as a darkness blooms behind his glee. “You wanna hit me don’t you?” My grip loosened; my lungs suddenly feeling like he held them in his fist.
“W-what?” I didn’t want to hit him. Did I? He was selfish, he was arrogant, and he could be so goddamn cruel. Still, the urge to physically harm him was something I had never once encountered. Knowing the history of his childhood and having bared witness to his father’s present day violence against him had made me hyper aware of the constant pain pulsing below his surface. My eyes rapidly blink as they search past his burning stare and into the darkened crevices of his soul.
Oh—he wanted me to hurt him.
His need for it radiating from the blackened pits to scald me. It scared me. It scared me because it felt dark. It felt wrong. But it scared me the most of all because suddenly in this moment, I wanted to. “I-I don’t-“
“Shut the fuck up.” Again, my teeth clench and my grip retightens on his jaw. His smile grew. Mother fucker knew what he was doing. He was basking in it.
He reaches for my hand wound in his tie, quickly unraveling before bringing it to his throat. His own then slide towards my ass. Gripping tightly, he pushes me down against his length to make sure I felt how badly he wanted this. He throbbed against my center; he wanted it bad. “Listen to me. You’re gonna let go of my jaw and you’re gonna fuckin’ slap me, aright?” I nod and release him. “Fuckin’ hit me.” As I draw back my palm, his tongue peaks out to wet his bottom lip.
Slap.
My palm makes contact and brushes across his cheek. It was a sad attempt really. Weak. Even though I knew he wanted it, needed it, something inside held me back.
I was still scared of harming him.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Come on!” He roughly digs his fingers into my ass, significantly harder than before. “I said fucking slap me!”
Crack.
I slapped him. Hard. His face jerks to the side. My hand stung as it instinctively goes to cover my mouth in shock of myself. His lips twitch before slowly turning up in a demented grin. A bloom of red seeps out from his bottom lip and his tongue slides across it. With the taste of his own blood, his smile widens. He laughs softly to himself and I slowly lower my hand.
“There she is.” His voice low, a rumbling purr. “You fuckin’ bitch.” The hand I had just used to strike instantly flies into the mess of his hair; our lips collide. A groan escapes, but from which of us—I didn’t know. The metallic taste of him fueled me. It felt frantic, bruising, needy. We pushed ourselves into each other as if we were feral creatures, held captive and starved. Feeding on something we had buried deep inside only to be found behind the teeth of the other. Sucking his tongue into my mouth causes him to moan and set me ablaze.
I force our mouths apart with a pull of his hair; desperately needing to catch my breath and clear my head. Panting heavily, we stare into the depths of the other in quiet disbelief. This was really happening.
“You sure you want this?” I needed to hear him confirm that he did, in-fact, want to go where we were obviously heading. I knew Roman long enough to know he had serious intimacy issues. Their seeming lack of presence in this moment had me in a whirlwind. He pressed himself into my center once again, his nails bruising crescents into my skin.
“What do you fuckin’ think, dumbass?” I let go of his throat and dig my own nails into his jaw to grip him harshly. He openly smiles with swollen lips.
“Tell me then. Tell me exactly what you want.” His expression falters and his jaw tenses beneath my fingers, eyes flickering from mine.
“You know what I fuckin’ want.” His words seep through gritted teeth. I press my forehead to his. Ever so slowly, I begin rhythmically grinding my hips down upon him. The friction causing his eyes to slip shut. A loud groan escapes from somewhere deep within his chest.
“Roman, I swear to God I’ll stop.” He doesn’t say anything so I still my hips. Umber eyes shoot open and he tries to move me himself. I won’t budge. “I will get up and I will fucking leave you here like this. Pathetic and alone with nothing but your hand.” As the words leave my mouth, so do my hips leave his. His brows snap together and tries in vain to pull me back down again. Still, I don’t budge. “I will walk out this door and you will never fucking see me again. Is that what you want?” The threat was hollow but said with a bite that had shaken me. I was falling into this role a little too easily, a little too well.
He gapes up at me when I completely let go of him. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I attempt to push myself off. It’s him who doesn’t budge this time. He yanks me back down with every ounce of strength his small frame contained. The sudden action has all the air escaping my lungs. With a hand clasped to the back of my neck, he seizes me into a searing kiss.
“Whatever you want.” The words frantically rush into my mouth. “I don’t care.” Fighting against the grip on my neck, he finally gives. I pull back to contemplate his words. Tilting my head slightly, my gaze falls to his tie. An idea begins forming as I slowly untie the silk. My nimble fingers unbuttoning his shirt has him intently studying my face. Whatever I want.
Cupping his warm face in one hand, I smear the blood of his bottom lip with my thumb. He parts his mouth and sucks it in. With my other, I reach for Roman’s and slide his own thumb into my waiting mouth. As I swirl my tongue around him, Roman’s eyes darken and he sucks me harder.
Pulling from his lips with a pop, I rub my now wet thumb against his nipple. A soft moan is let loose. My tongue continuously plays with him inside me. He shudders as I pinch the bud beneath my fingers before doing the same to the other. Letting go of his hand, I reach forward to pinch both simultaneously and he groans loudly.
My cheeks hollow around his thumb as he slips it from me. He drags it down my bottom lip and stares intently. Transfixed by my spit glistening in the incandescent light. Cupping my jaw, he pulls me forward to replace his thumb with his tongue. That familiar groan returning when I suck him in. His other hand tangles itself into my staticky waves and he kisses me with everything he has.
“Give me your wrists.” The order was partially muffled against his mouth.
“Huh?” The question was mumbled into my lips.
“I said,” Threading my fingers into his own hair, I pull him back. “give me your fucking wrists.” With a dramatic tug, his tie is jerked from underneath his collar in a rush. He sat still, blinking up at me. The walnut shells of his eyes fall into my hands. There was a slight apprehension, a nervousness to them. “Do you trust me, Rome?”
“Y-yeah.” His voice was hushed as he presents his hands to me and I slowly start wrapping the silk around his wrists.
“We can stop at anytime. You know that, right? Just say the word and I’ll stop immediately.” My reassurance seems to irritate more than comfort. He rolls his eyes with a tilt of the head.
“Would you fuck off? I’m fine.” A crease digs itself into the bridge of his nose and my actions immediately still.
“I’m not going to fuck off unless I know that you know that you’re safe with me, okay?” This dominate role was far from the submissive one I was innately familiar with. We obviously had never discussed boundaries and I didn’t know where the lines were anymore. “I need you to know you can speak up. That I’ll stop the second you tell me to.” Roman looks like he’d rather get a root canal than continue this discussion, but I don’t care. This was far too important. “I need you to know that your comfort is important—that your feelings matter.”
“I fucking know it, alright?” He snapped before groaning and throwing his head back. “God, what the fuck else do you need to know before you just shut the fuck up and get on with it already?” My hand quickly finds its way to his throat with a squeeze. He seems more than pleased by this response.
“Do you wanna fucking cum?”
“Clearly I wanna fuckin’—“ My other hand slaps over his mouth and I can feel him smiling underneath my palm. Roman was gladly trying to piss me off. He was itching to see me lose control; yearned to meet the creature locked inside me. The wicked one I never acknowledged or came near; the demon only he could see. She bathes me in the blood of solidified suspicions.
Roman didn’t want my empathy.
Roman wanted my cruelty.
“Then are you fucking stupid? If you don’t shut the fuck up I’ll make damn sure to have you crying like a little bitch before I even think of letting you cum.” His eyes blackened as he watches my succubuss unhinge her jaw to swallow me whole. “Got it?” He nods quickly. Rapid bursts of air shoot from his nose across the back of my hand. “And lose the fuckin’ attitude.” Removing my hand, I slap him across the mouth; handing myself over to his desires completely.
Having finished binding his wrists and setting them behind his head, I rise from the couch. Standing between his ankles, I unzip my skirt and let it fall to my feet. The muscles in his forearms flex. His tongue peaks between his lips as he gawked at the damp lace between my thighs. Sliding my finger below his chin, I tilt his head until he meets my eyes.
“You know what I want, Roman?” My hand takes home around his throat once again. Now having his full attention, I feel him swallow as he shakes his head. His excitement was palpable. Settling my right knee between his thighs, I nudge it gently against his hard length. His nostrils flare with a sharp inhale. “I want you to watch me get myself off on your thigh.” He groans loudly. I couldn’t tell if it was out of desire, frustration, or a mixture of both but the response delighted me nonetheless. Placing my left knee to the other side of his thigh, I fully seat myself upon him. “Knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.”
“Fuck.” Slowly grinding against the fabric of his thigh, my lashes flutter at the sensation. A soft moan escapes me before I can stop it. I was dripping wet and could already feel myself swiftly ruining his ostentatiously expensive pants.
“How does it feel Roman? To have me use you like this?“ A whimper meets my ears. His eyes transfixed on my clothed center sliding roughly against his thigh. There was a fire beneath his skin and he was entranced by the sight of kerosene being poured upon it. “To ruin you like this?” His smokey gaze flickers up to mine and I use the moment to grind myself harder against him. The rough friction elicits another moan from me, louder this time. “This is all you’re good for—” My final word comes out in a whine causing Roman to tear into his bottom lip hard enough to draw more blood. “Tell me. How does it feel?” I nudge my knee into his throbbing member once more and the deepest groan ripples through his teeth. His arms jerk against his binds as I use my free hand to sharply twist his nipple. “Answer me!”
“Good! It feels—Fuck.” The sentiment came out hoarse and husky. He shoves his head back into his tied wrists, thrusting himself against my knee. “Feels so f-fuckin’ good.” Digging my thumb into his pulse point, I slide my knee back. He whines; all hopes of friction dashing in an instant.
“No. You don’t get to cum until I say you do. Got it, you demented little fuck?” He’s a whimpering mess beneath me; eyes wide and watery. I wanted to drown myself in the sight and never touch the light of day again.
My thong bunches to the side from the aggression in my movements. Now fully bare against him, a shiver rushes through me as my clit kisses the luxurious fabric of his thigh. I wasn’t going to last much longer.
“If you don’t fucking behave I swear to God I’ll leave you like this—tied up and soaking for whoever to find.” The bite in my threats were losing their edge. My voice lost somewhere between a moan and sigh. An impending orgasm flicks it’s tongue at the base of my spine.
“Wouldn’t want it to be your father who finds you like this, would you?” A mangled whine shakes itself from his throat and has me smiling.
The blood seeping from his parted lips seem to glitter under the city light of his windows. I flatten my tongue across his jaw and drag it up his chin until my mouth fills with copper. The taste causes a sigh to slip from my mouth into his.
“You’re close. I-I can feel it.” His voice tight and high-pitched as he starts to slightly bounce his leg. “You’ve f-fucking drenched me.” The jolting of his thigh into my clit has my head falling into his shoulder; grinding harder and faster against him. The nails of my right hand embed themselves into the skin of his waist. A carnal mosaic of the flesh born below my grip. I was at the brink. “I-I wanna feel you cum.” He’s whining as he starts to bounce his leg faster; face buried in my hair. His shaking breath against my cheek has my entire body erupting in goosebumps. “P-please lemme f-feel you cum.” His beg hitches to an even higher pitch. His thigh nearly vibrating under me, desperate pleas rippling through me. Every nerve ending in my body felt ablaze.
It was all too much.
A scream rips from my lungs and I sink my teeth into the flesh of Roman’s shoulder. He tasted of salt and brimstone. My nails frenetically scratch into his skin as my thighs tremble and squeeze. Groans barrel up from his chest to mingle with my own. My release shatters through me with a blinding intensity I had never experienced before. I was overflowing; drenching his thigh to seep into his soul.
The heaving of our chests pressed tightly together slowly lulls me back down again. My fingertips absentmindedly painting shapes into his skin with the blood I’d drawn from his waist. Sparkles of light and voids of soot twirl across my vision. An indention of my teeth remained etched into his shoulder. He shudders when I press a soft kiss onto the bruised skin. My head falling heavy when it replaces my mouth to lean into him.
I’m suddenly reminded of Roman’s own much needed release upon finding his hips desperately grinding circles into empty air. He’s whimpering; body begging. My hand still cradled his throat so I languidly brush my thumb along his pulse point. His heart was racing.
“Do you need to cum, Roman?” A loud, high-pitched whine answers me.
“Please.” The word comes out in a choked sob. “I need—“ He was fighting against his binds, the silk digging painfully into his wrists. “Please.” He frantically presses open mouth kisses into any inch of my skin that he could reach; pleading with glassy eyes. “Please lemme cum.” I leave his throat to gently cup his cheek and smile softly before pulling back from him. “No—“ He stops himself when I thread one hand into his hair and place the other bloodied one atop his chest.
“You gonna cum your pants for me, Romie?” I take my sweet time sliding my palm towards where he needs it most. “Like the needy little slut that you are?” The whispered words were dripping in ghost pepper honey that had him swallowing. “Are you that desperate? That pathetic?”
“Yes.” The answer comes out in a quiet quick rush of air. “Y-yeah, I am.” My hand finally reaches his pulsing length and it twitches beneath my fingers. He immediately ruts against my palm and I squeeze him before jerking his head back.
“Stop.” He clenches his teeth but surprisingly does. Tensing beneath me, using every ounce of self control to still himself. He was trembling beneath my grasp. Frustrated tears caressed his lashes and began streaming down his flushed cheeks. His breath was coming out hard and shallow through flared nostrils.
A memory flashes through my mind: Roman’s captivated stare watching his glistening thumb press into my bottom lip.
“Open your mouth.” Again, he follows my orders instantly. Hovering my face above his, my lips purse with a drop of spit. He catches it with a moan that I immediately kiss into my mouth. “Cum.” My voice drops just above a whisper against his raw lips. “Make a mess of yourself.”
He instantly begins fucking himself roughly into my grip. The heat of his flesh searing me through the fabric. Grunting into my open mouth as I tug his hair into the cushions just below his wrists. His hands opening and closing before locking into tight fists. “Look at me.” His eyes shoot open. “Such a good boy for me.” A familiar emotion swirls through the sliver of hazel around his pupils. His lids flutter as he fought with everything in him to keep himself rooted in my gaze. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Roman.”
His hips shoot from the couch as he explodes and spreads me open across his thigh. The sensation causes my breath to catch in my throat. A gravely yell rips from the deepest parts of himself and tears apart every muscle in my body. He pours everything he has into the fabric beneath my hand with wide eyes never leaving mine. He collapses hard with shuttering breaths; body limp and twitching.
I release him to bring my palm to my lips; the slightest bit damp from him. My tongue paints his taste into my memory with pupils blown. Jaw slack, he watches intently through heavy wet lashes. His muddy eyes fill with that same emotion I had seen from him earlier.
“Lemme taste you.” The request was nearly silent but it rattled me like a wail. If I was any further from him I wouldn’t have heard it, but I did and couldn’t believe he had asked. Lifting my hips slightly, I run two fingers through my sensitive folds and shiver. He immediately takes notice and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips.
My fingers tremble as they rise towards his mouth. He inhales deeply before parting his lips for me. Slipping into the velvet of his mouth, his eyes flutter shut. His pointed tongue runs up between their gaps before flattening to drag back down. He was savoring every drop as if he were a starved man lost at sea. An involuntary hum reverberates from his throat into my skin and his cheeks seem to darken even more. He playfully bites down with sparkling eyes when I slip my fingers from his warm mouth.
The sight had the blood pounding in my ears beginning their familiar chant: ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.’ It overwhelmed me and I couldn’t help but pull him into one last searing kiss. Tasting myself on his tongue had my head spinning. Here on my knees, I prayed to a godless sky that he could taste my heart overflowing into his mouth. Cupping his cheeks in both hands, my thumbs brush away the damp paths left by his previous tears. His forehead suddenly creases beneath mine.
“You okay, Rome?” He shakes my hands from his face and turns away from me. My own brows knot together in worry.
“I’m fine.” His face further contorts upon hearing how his voice cracked. It might as well have cracked my ribs right along with it. He clenches his jaw before gnawing at the inside of his cheek. His hands form into tight fist behind his head. He was trying not to cry again.
My fingers twitch in my lap and it takes everything in me not to wrap him in my arms. Instead, I reach for his wrists and bring them forward. They felt heavy and limp in my hands. Right as I began my attempt at untying them, a small sniffle brings my attention back to Roman’s face.
“It’s okay if you’re not okay, you know?” I try to gently reassure him but it only deepens the tortured disgust in his features.
“I said I’m fucking fine.” The words are spit with a venom that eats through to my bones. Feeling me search his feature has him crumbling before me. Fresh tears immediately start spilling down his cheeks and into the pits of my soul. I couldn’t help but reach for him. He surprisingly lets me cup his cheek, so I gently turn him to face me. His eyes squeeze tighter below my lips as I lightly kiss their corners. The small gesture of affection has a mangled sob ripping from his chest. Fully burying his face into my hand, he lets himself weep into my palm.
Brushing back the strands of hair sticking to his sweat, I feel my own eyes filling with tears. Refusing to let myself cry, I leave his hair to clumsily attempt untying his wrists with one hand but the knot had grown significantly tighter. No doubt from Roman constantly pulling against it all this time.
“Hey, Rome?” He responds with a mangled sound in the back of his throat. A desperate need to comfort and free him started anxiously clawing at my throat. “Listen, I know you’re totally fine and everything but I’m actually not.” His watery eyes glance to me, not registering that I’m joking. “The she demon that possessed me, she—the bitch was a Girl Scout from hell. This knot’s tighter than a goddamn hangman’s noose.” Roman pulls his face from my hand while rapidly blinking. The sounds of grinding metal fill my ears and their smokey scent tickles my nose. I flash him a goofy, albeit nervous, smile and the gears inside his head finally click into place.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” There was no bite to his words, having spoke them through a bemused chuckle. He wipes his nose with back of his hand and inhales the remnants of his vulnerability. Grateful relief balms the scrapes at my neck left by worry’s desperate claws.
His smile falters when I suddenly get up and leave him; it's as if a burst of panic fills his chest. However, when he watches me pick up a pair of scissors and the joggers from his gym bag, I sense the tension in him ease slightly. It's only when I climb back atop his thigh that he appears fully relieved. The weight of my warmth sinking into him seems to ground him.
After tossing his change of pants onto the cushion beside us, I carefully slide the blade under his tie and free him. The silk had dug in painfully, leaving nearly raw indentions in it’s wake. I mentally make a note to check my purse for some soothing lotion later as my fingers lightly brush across his skin. My thumbs begin rubbing into the muscles of his forearms. Roman was studying my face intently.
“These feel okay?” Shaking out his wrists, he rotates them a few times before letting them fall limp in my lap. It was his way of silently asking me to continue with my actions. He had far too much pride to express his desire for such a tender expression.
“Feels fine.” He fights off a shy smile when my hands pick up where they left off, massaging him gently. “My side on the other hand feels like fuckin’ cruise papers with the way ya shredded me.” He chuckles but I could still hear the residual emotion behind it. I lift the corner of his shirt up to take a look. The sight has my stomach instantly dropping; tangled weeds of angry wounds imbedded deep into flesh. Needles of red hot guilt begin sewing threads of shame up my legs. Looking down, I’m greeted with his blood caked under my nails. Memories of violence and words of degradation take ownership of my lungs.
“Fuck Rome…” My voice cracks and I suddenly feel my own tears holding a knife to my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Roman quickly tears the fabric from my grasp and yanks it down.
“Oh shit. No no no no no—fuck fuck fuck.” His panicked expression made me feel so much worse. The canines of an anxiety attack drag up the nape of my neck like a threat. “I—I was fucking kidding!”
“I shouldn’t have d—done that to you. I—I shouldn’t have hit you. I shouldn’t have said—I didn’t—Rome, I didn’t mean them! The words—I—I’m so sor—“
“Oh dear God, would you fuckin’ stop.” He quickly cut me off but I had already dove to the deep end of a molten lava shame spiral.
“I—I made you fucking bleed Roman!” He rolls his eyes. “Multiple times!” His hands slap themselves onto the sides of my face, pressing hard into my cheeks.
“Yeah and you licked it up and it was the sexiest fuckin’—” I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him. If I looked at him I’d most certainly start crying. “I mean, I’m literally fucking drenched in cum right now.” My mouth was set in a hard line but my bottom lip quivered. “Come on now…” Nope, didn’t have to look at him. Turns out his voice alone could send tears falling. “I was kidding! I liked the fuckin’—fuckin’ feral scratchy shit! It was hot! And—and I told you to hit me! I—I wanted it! I wanted you to say all that fuckin’ nasty shit!” His fingers press into my skin harder as if he could force his sentiments to penetrate my skull. “I…I fuckin’ loved it. Like a lot. Okay?” My head was shaking back and forth trying to gain some control over my emotions, shake free of my tears. Roman didn’t know that though. How could he? I wasn’t speaking. He probably thought my actions were just my way of rejecting him. “Please don’t fuckin’ do this.”
My eyes crack open as I remove Roman’s hands from my face. The knotted look of bewilderment etched into his features summons the childhood phantom of my mother. Taking her disembodied palm to slap me across the mouth and rattle me with shrill screams: ‘You need to pull yourself the fuck together!’ I follow suit, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes.
“Promise?” My question came out pathetic and small. I fucking hated it and I fucking hated crying. I’m being fucking ridiculous. Stupid.
“Again, and I can’t stress this enough, soaking in my own cum right now.” His reassurance comes with a laugh that tugs my frown up slightly.
“I just—I’m sorry. It was one thing in the moment but just like… I dunno. I’ve never done anything like that. I—I don’t know what came over me.” My face felt feverish as the backs of my hands wipe the shame staining my cheeks. “Seeing the aftermath just kinda, it just—The thought of actually hurting you makes me feel fucking sick, Rome.” I feel the back of Roman’s knuckle brush away the tears I had missed. Chancing a look at his face gifted me the softest expression I had ever seen from him. “I never want to cause you any real harm.” My voice sounded almost foreign, weak with emotion and vulnerability. Where did all my bravado go? Oh yeah, it’s dripping down my thighs.
“Well you didn’t, alright? I’m fine. Like completely. A-o-fuckin’-kay over here.” He throws me the okay symbol and tries offering me a reassuring smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“But you were crying, Rome.” The smile instantly drops.
“That? No, I wasn’t—“ He shakes his head before scratching at his jaw. “It—it wasn’t because of that.” My brows furrow, and he groans, hands dragging down his face. “Look, I didn’t—I don’t—fuck!” He shakes his fingers through his hair and looks as if he’s about to rip it out. Refusing to meet my eyes, his stare finally settles on my hands lying face up in my lap. “It was your fuckin’—your hands, okay? It was your fuckin’ hands.” My eyes fall from his face and focus on the blood staining my fingertips. So it really was because I hit him. “The way you—“ He sighs. “The way you held me.” Oh. His head falls back as a long frustrated groan escapes him, eyes searching for heaven in the ceiling. “I dunno, okay? It just felt—it felt—“ He couldn’t finish. His eyes fall shut before he continues, his voice even quieter than before. “All I could think about was how you had looked at me.” I swallow before whispering just as quietly as he.
“How did I look at you?”
“I don’t know.” His voice grew thick with emotion once again. He shakes his head and finally meets my eyes; looking so defeated and sad. His pain bled me. “You’re always fuckin’ lookin’ at me like—like—“ Again, he can’t finish. He clenches his jaw like a threat towards the words caught in his throat.
“Like I love you?” His eyes squeeze shut and he turns his face from me once again; hiding himself from my words. I watch him clench and unclench his jaw until courage clenches my own. “Because I do love you, Roman.” Every muscle in his body seemed to tense beneath me, but I couldn’t stop my feelings from shattering their shackles. They’d been locked up for so long that their first taste of freedom sends them sprinting. “I love you so fucking much.” He clenches his fists, still unable to open his eyes and look at me.
I let myself lean into him and lay my head onto his shoulder. His fist start to unfurl and he lets his head fall against mine. A shuddering breath leaves him and he buries his face into my hair, hands tentatively resting on my hips. We sit in silence as I listen to his breathing slowly steadying. Once it had nearly returned to normal, I feel his lips gently press into my temple.
“I love you too.” The words were murmured into me, a heavy sigh follows after them. “You have no fucking idea.” The wilted buds of my heart and mind begin to bloom. My arms wrap themselves around him and squeeze him to me tightly. He reluctantly wraps his arms around me as well; slowly tightening his embrace until he’s clinging to my soul. Turning my head I press a kiss into the side of his throat and hear him sigh once again; the weight between us was dissipating.
“I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.” The words he had stuttered out when trying to calm me drift to the forefront of my mind. “I—I liked it too.” The warmth of his skin embraces my shy confession. “What we did together, I mean.” I hear him snort and it has me smiling against him. The air was feeling lighter.
“I’d fuckin’ say so, ya fuckin’ banshee. You shoulda seen how fuckin’ hard you came. I mean—Jesus Christ, you were fuckin’ feral.” I hide my face further into his neck but can’t help the laughter that bubbles up from me. “And now you act all fuckin’ bashful and shit? How the fuck does that even work? You literally tied me up and road my thigh like a buckin’ bronco.” I bite his throat and my body shakes from his laughter vibrating through me.
“Fuck you! I’m complex.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He tangles his hands in my hair and pulls me back to face him. “You’re fuckin’ insane, you know that?” He was smiling as he said it. “You drive me fucking insane.”
“The feelings mutual.” His smile only widens and he bounces his leg. I yelp in surprise, frantically gripping at his arms to maintain balance. He’s giggling uncontrollably. “You’re a sick fuck, Roman Roy.”
“Ooo round two already, thigh master?” He bounces his leg again. I try to slap his chest but he catches my wrist with his freehand and pulls me into a kiss I’m never going to forget. It was different than all the ones we had shared prior. This one was so much softer, so much gentler. Our foreheads rest against one another. His smile against my lips illuminates every crevice once void of light; I was loved.
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whateverloomis · 4 months
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"Why me?" (Billy x Stu x AFAB reader)
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A/N: Okay, I had this idea and started to write it but I stopped at a cliff hanger because I don't know where to go with it (lol, sorry.) If you have any suggestions send them through my requests or comment them <33
Warnings: Intentions of killing, oral (giving and receiving,) spit kink if you squint, low-key stalking, chasing, Stu and Billy argue like a married couple (lol) || Revised: July'24
Reader: AFAB, no pronouns used. Written in first person and narrator POV.
Word count: 2.6k
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First person POV
We were watching a cheap slasher movie. One of those where there's a blonde girl with big tits that gets killed in the middle of having sex with a hot guy. Blood dripping down her body while getting repeatedly stabbed.
Billy shifted next to me while the scene played. The girl getting stabbed, her tits bouncing displayed all over the TV screen. I scanned his body and my eyes landed on his crotch. He was rock hard because of the movie and he wasn't doing a very good job at hiding it.
I smirked at the realization and placed my hand on his thigh, running it up his leg slowly. Billy tensed up at my sudden movements and let out a quiet sigh. He bit his lip before spreading his legs a bit, allowing me to run my hand all the way up to his bulge. I gave it a firm squeeze and he exhaled a "Fuck" before hissing softly.
"Enjoying the movie, Loomis?" I asked him teasingly and he let out a breathy laugh. "I think you know the answer to that." He replied and I squeezed his cock again, another hiss leaving his mouth.
"You like seeing naked people get stabbed while fucking?" I asked Billy, shifting on the couch to move closer to him as I played with his hair. He looked at me and smirked, scanning my face, lingering his gaze on my lips. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." he replied and laughed before I hit his arm playfully. The boy loved to play around with keeping things a mystery, but this time I wanted an answer.
"Oh c'mon! I bet you'd get off to it if you did something crazy like that in real life." I said jokingly and he gave me a serious look. His pupils dilated slightly and his gaze became intense. "You think I'd do something like that?" He asked, moving closer to me. "I... Didn't mean to... No, I don't." -- "But what if I did? Blood all over your perfect tits and this perfect waist." He said and grabbed my waist with his large hands, squeezing the flesh softly.
I looked at his hands circling my middle before looking at him. It was oddly turning me on. I mean... As a role play it would be pretty fun.
"I'd be into it... If the blood is fake and you don't actually kill me." I answered, rolling my eyes playfully at him. Billy suddenly lightened up and laughed softly, looking down and biting his lip. "Yeah, that's what I meant." He replied. He sounded somewhat sarcastic yet truthful. I could never tell with him.
"Y'know what would make it better? If I caught you off guard. Chase you around a little bit." The thought of him chasing me around the house like an actual killer excited me more than it should've. I smirked at him and agreed silently. Billy chuckled and gave me a quick kiss.
"Deal."
Narrator
"So you almost gave it away." -- "No I didn't, Stu! Are you even listening to me?!" Billy and Stu argued. Well, Billy did. He told Stu about him nearly exposing his plan about killing you.
You were their next target and Billy needed to get you as close to him as possible, until it ended up in a situationship between you two. At first, he wanted to get rid of you in order to start eliminating people from the friend group you all shared, and make killing Sidney easier for him and Stu.
You guys weren't as close as you were with the rest of the gang, so he decided to put some effort into it in order for you to trust him enough to talk to him alone, so he'd be able to kill you quickly, y'know?. That was until you ended up inviting him over for a friendly movie night and ended up making out with him on his lap in the middle of whatever movie you guys were watching.
"Well, maybe we can take care of it during your weird role play idea thing. It'll be perfect, man!" Stu suggested and Billy rolled his eyes. "I can think of many sexual things you've done that are weirder than a fucking role play." -- "Hey! You promised you'd never make fun of m-" -- "It doesn't matter Stu! Just." Billy paused and sighed, trying to calm himself and not lose his patience like he usually did with Stu during those conversations. "Let's just figure this out, ok?" And with that said, they continued discussing how to get rid of you quick and clean.
First person POV
It was a chill Sunday. I stayed in my apartment that day to relax and unwind before class the next day. I had just taken a shower and was getting dressed as comfortable as I could be. First, my favorite black thong made out of the softest cotton fabric along with a loose white crop top that exposed my nipples ever so slightly.
Must be my imagination. I popped the VHS in the TV and before I could hit play I heard another thud coming from the kitchen. Okay, so it isn't my imagination.
I climbed on the bed, ready to watch a horror movie before going to sleep. As I walked over the TV to pop the VHS in I heard a thud coming from the living room.
I paused my actions and listened carefully.
Nothing.
Sighing, I walked out of my room along the short hallway and into the kitchen. Again, nothing. I shook my head and tried to ease my anxiety. The last few days had been kinda stressful with finals so it made sense that I could've been overthinking things but then...
Another thud. It came from the closet next to the front door this time, and I officially freaked out. I grabbed the biggest knife from the knife block and walked towards the door slowly. I'm not getting killed this early in life.
I sighed once again and turned around before closing the closet door. When I finally spun completely a black figure pushed me against the door roughly. Whoever it was, was wearing a white ghost face mask that looked awfully similar to the one used in the Woodsboro killings.
As I approached the door, I held the knife up and placed my hand on the knob before opening it aggressively. It hit the wall next to it and made a loud sound.
Nothing.
I attempted to push ghost face away but he was significantly stronger than me. I used my short height to my advantage and kneeled down, slipping away from under his left arm. I got trapped in his robe before falling to the floor next to him, dropping the knife I had in my hand, but I quickly stood up and ran into my room.
As I was approaching the door, ghost face appeared right in front of me. How did he get in there so fast?
I ran towards him and threw myself against his body, successfully pushing him on my bed, straddling him. I saw that he had a blade under his robe and I tried to grab it, but he quickly grabbed my arm and turned us around. We struggled with each other before I kneed his stomach. Ghost face groaned and fell on the floor. I kinda recognize that voice.
The man squeezed my hip and pulled the elastic of my thong, making me shiver. It's definitely him.
I ran into the living room trying to reach the phone but before I could ghost face grabbed me from behind and slammed me against one of the living room walls. He grabbed my throat with his left hand and squeezed my waist with the right, pushing himself against me. I tried to lift my leg to kick him once again but he grabbed my thigh and ran his gloved hand all the way up to my hip.
Is this... "Billy?" I asked, my breathing heavy.
Trusting my instincts, I let him touch me. He ran his hand up my waist and to my tits, squeezing one of them. I gasped at the feeling of the leather against my skin, it turned me on more than it should've. All the adrenaline moved between my legs. I was soaked.
I moved my hand up his chest and to his mask, removing it from his face. Billy was revealed, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Surprise." he said and I pulled him into a heated kiss. He moaned into my mouth and ran his hands down my body reaching behind my thighs before picking me up, my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. We never stopped kissing once while he walked us towards my bedroom and threw me on the bed.
"Is this seriously what you wear when you're home alone? Don't you know there could be a masked killer around?" Billy said and I smirked at his comment, spreading my legs slightly to give him a sneak peek between my thighs.
He removed his robe and I could see his dick pressed against his jeans. I crawled on the bed towards the edge and stuck my tongue out, looking pretty and ready to suck him off.
"You're such a little slut." Billy said and walked towards me, unzipping his pants and revealing that he didn't have any underwear on. He knew exactly what he came here for.
I pulled his pants down just enough to free his cock and rested the tip on my tongue. I let myself drool on the floor and he collected some on his finger, spreading it over his shaft. I let out a little whine and closed my mouth around the head of his dick, slowly taking more of his length until he hit the back of my throat. I looked up at him and moaned around his length.
Billy loved how needy I got for his cock inside my mouth.
He grabbed the back of my head and started to thrust inside my mouth, gagging me slightly. He loved to tease me like that and it drove me fucking crazy. My cunt got wetter by the second. He moaned and pulled my hair while I sucked and used my tongue on him at the same time. I could feel him growing harder and knew he wouldn't last any longer, but instead of giving in he pulled out of my mouth. A string of saliva connected from my tongue to the head of his cock.
"You're so cute when you stick your little tongue out like that for me." Billy said and grabbed my face, pushing me back on the bed, face up.
He took the knife out from his back pocket and hovered over me. I looked into his eyes and he had a wild look on his face. I was both aroused and slightly scared, but I trusted him enough to let him continue.
"Don't worry baby... I won't hurt you." He whispered and ran the knife down my chest, over my tits and stomach. He paused once he reached my lower belly and looked up at me to read my expression. I was excited to see what he was going to do next.
Narrator
Billy knew what he had to do. He knew he had to kill you and get it over with but your gorgeous body was intoxicating. He paused at your lower belly and thought about his next move. You were behaving just like a final girl and he had a feeling it wasn't going to be easy to kill you. Besides, he had nearly changed his mind the minute you removed his mask.
Your excitement and thrill drove him crazy and he needed more. He couldn't kill you now, so instead he hooked the blade under your thong and cut it open. You let out the cutest gasp of excitement and it made him leak pre all on the floor. Fuck, you were gorgeous.
Billy removed your panties with the knife and placed the weapon next to your thigh. Your pussy was dripping and he nearly salivated at how good you looked.
Stu was waiting for the sweet sounds of your screams. Waiting for Billy to stab you and get this over with, but instead when he peeked from the corner of the hallway into your room he saw his best friend with his fingers inside your cunt while licking and sucking on your clit.
Your moans filled the room all the way to his ears and you sounded so pretty. He couldn't help but get hard at the sight of Billy devouring you, but he knew he couldn't get distracted. He needed to go through with the plan.
Stu walked along the hallway as quietly as he could and stood by the door, away from your vision, but little did he know...
First person POV
Billy licked and sucked my clit while finger fucking me like there was no tomorrow. He was desperate and eating me as if I was his last meal.
"Billy please... More." I whimpered and he thrust his fingers inside me faster, hitting my g-spot perfectly while licking my sweet spot.
I moaned and whimpered for him. Squeezed his fingers with my cunt, and fuck I was going to explode.
"Yes, yes, Billy yes! I'm gonna cum!" I practically screamed before finally releasing. "Yes! Fuck! Billy -- Stu... STU? FUCK!" I moaned as I rode my orgasm against Billy's fingers and then slid away from him, covering my lower half with my sheets.
Stu was standing by the door with the same robe Billy was wearing and the same mask in his hand.
"What the FUCK IS GOING ON?!" I screamed at both of them and they just stood there, quietly. "BILLY?!" I screamed again, this time capturing his attention.
"Look... I can explain." -- "Explain what, exactly?! That you invited Stu? Without my consent?!" I interrupted him and he closed his eyes, trying to keep calm.
"Look, it's not like that okay... We ju-" -- "Cut to the chase Loomis, I don't have time for this shit!" I interrupted once more and then Stu spoke. "Fine, we were gonna kill you."
"WHAT!?" -- "STU!" You and Billy both screamed at him. "What? It's the truth I mean-" He was cut off by Billy throwing the knife at him, it sticking to the wall right next to his face.
My eyes were wide. I was in disbelief. How could they do this to me? Billy out of everyone...
Why me?
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walpu · 6 months
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Hi, it’s me again!! >_<
When I tell you I gobbled that headcannon post up, I went down on two knees and howled /hj
Anyways, do you think you can do some headcannons on Aventurine with Bodyguard! Reader if you have the time? But this time, with a twist :3
See, reader does care for Aven, you truly do, but before that, you were tasked by Everflame mansion and by Duke inferno himself to kill Aventurine. But you can’t bring yourself to, no, not when you’ve fallen head over heels for him.
When reader does become Aven’s bodyguard, you maintain that serious, no nonsense demeanor, but if he looks closely enough, he’ll see the lovestruck puppy hiding under the hardened shell that they’ve put on.
But the guilt catches up. One day, at least a few months after reader’s betrayal to Duke Inferno, you catch sight of an assassin sent to finish the job they couldn’t do. And so, the secret is finally revealed.
Personally, I think Aventurine would be betrayed, like very, how could he not be? He’s always kept people at an arm’s length away, and when he finally lets you in his walls, and starts falling for thier charm, this secret of yours comes out. He fires you almost immediately, but the way he stares after you with misty eyes doesn’t go unnoticed.
The next months were absolute hell. Reader found a new job as a barista, and is quite enjoying the quaint and simply life it provides, even if you do miss Aventuirne. He’s probably still seething at you, right?.
Wrong. Because you’ve gone MIA, Aventurine been scouring all over the place, trying so hard to find you. He’s loosing sleep, forgetting to eat, all things that you would chide him about. Aeons, he misses you so much.
And when he does find you, he’s overjoyed, and when the two finally reunite, the first thing you do is to apologize deceiving him. But he forgave your silly ass a long time ago, why else would he have spent the last months trying to find you?
Long story short, it’s a happy ending, Aventurine couldn’t be more grateful he has you to be his bodyguard, his closest confidant, and most importantly, his lover <33
I’m so sorry if I went on a ramble, but this idea’s been plaguing me so bad I literally can’t focus on anything else 😭😭
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWAR TO WRITIG FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW IT I ADORE YOUR BODYGUARD!READER x AVEN SERIES btw thank you for sharing the c.ai bot
I feel like the only thing I do with each post is apologize for taking so long but right now I like from work trip to work trip so I'm actually really really sorry this madness should end soon 😭😭😭😭 Hope you'll enjoy this post, it was my goal to finish it before version 2.1
bodyguard/assassin!reader x Aventurine
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characters - Aventurine notes- gn!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, pining, no beta
It was not a fast prosses for the both of to form a genuine connection. Moreover, you know goddamn well you shouldn't get attached to him.
And at first it seems easy, like yeah another rich playboy, no big deal, you've delt with people like him before, right? Right??????????????
Yeah until suddenly he's not just a rich playboy.
The more you notice how deeply lonely and unhappy he is, the more your heart softens towards him. And the more your heart softens, the more he relaxes around you, seeing behind your cold exterior.
He's not used to people caring about him. And yes, of course he knows it's your job but still, for a man who never had a real friend before, he surely can appreciate having someone who not only won't leave him but also will listen to him and look after him.
And the part about you being paid to do it? Oh well. It's the same guy who offers you to use him as you wish and who's greeting line is "I can play a role of a friend :)"
Mf is FRIENDLESS, LONELY and PATHETIC /affectionally
He'll take what he can get okay.
But goddamn. Don't think he doesn't notice how you started going out of your ways to take care of him. How you make him eat, tend to his small injuries ("my, my, you're my bodyguard, not a doctor. perhaps someone wants a raise, hm?~"), how you drag him out of casino or his office when it's too late.
It drives him crazy. It's not beneficial for you, right? The w h y.
He won't ask. Instead he will watch and slowly fold.
You are probably suffering tho lol. You should just kill him already, you've had so many opportunities to end him. Instead you spoon feed him soup because he claims he has a hangover after a night in the casino. And this little brat looks so smug about it too!!!!
Sometimes he feels like it's too good to be true: you being here, taking care of him, looking after him. The line between professional relationship, friendship and... something more is way too blurry already, and he knows it's dangerous but it just feels so good. Too good.
Duke inferno gets tired eventually. He sends someone to remind you of your mission. To remind you who you really work for.
Well, the duke receives a warning of his own. The dead body of his little messenger.
You know, of course, that the Everflame mansion thugs are not easily intimidated. They will be back. So you better warn Aventurine and tell him everything.
You can't keep lying to him, can you?
Well. It's surprisingly not as easy as you thought. After all, even if they will send someone, you'll just protect Aven like you always do, right? He doesn't have to know. Not about your past, not about your original mission. He keeps his secrets too, so why can't you?
You know goddamn well why tho. You know and yet you still can't bring yourself to tell him the truth.
It goes on like that for several months and Aventurine notices that something is clearly off, something is bothering his darling protector. He tries to pry, to tease, to cling, to pester you. Something to make you open up. Or, at least, get distracted. He can't help but feel anxious. Why are you suddenly so reversed? Do you want to leave his side? Does he not pay you enough? Does he bother you too much? It eats him alive while he tries to mask it by pestering you even more. As if to test you. As if to make sure that it's not the case.
All the hell breaks loose one day when you discover that Duke inferno has sent another assassin to finish the job.
I you spare the details but yeah, your secret was unraveled. And it wasn't pretty at all.
You have never seen emotions so vivid on Aven's face. Part of you always wanted to see him more vulnerable, more open with you. But not like this. Not this look of utter betrayal.
He collects himself quick enough, hiding behind the mask of mock disappointment.
"Hm, well, I recall mentioning that treachery is just another tool of the trade. But it seems like our little deal is not paying off for me anymore" he says with a cold chuckle, shaking his head a little. "After all, you have very little to offer outside of your dog-like loyalty. But seems like this dog bit both hands that fed it".
You were expecting him to call for your arrest but instead he just fires you. It hurts nevertheless.
What hurts even more is that look he gives you when you part ways. It's like his pretty eyes are even more lifeless now.
At first he feels this overwhelming emptiness. It truly feels like the fate is mocking him. One time, just one time, he allowed himself to relax around someone. Just this one time, with this one person who took care of him, who listened to him, who looked out for him. And this person was supposed to kill him.
Then his stupid brain finds another way to torture him. He keeps thinking about the way you have always protected him, the way you took the hit even during the last attack, when Duke Inferno's new assassin tried to get to him. You were ready to leave your past life behind to stay by his side, weren't you?
As soon as he realizes it he goes frantic. Of course he tries to find you asap but of course someone as competent as you would be able to disappear without a trace in no time. You were an assassin, after all. A skilled one too, since he never even suspected you.
This connection the two of you had, this realization that you really cared enough to betray your client, all of this makes him realize that he needs you so, so much. He needs to feel this care again, he need to look at you again, to know that you're here by his side.
He misses you so much. Your nagging, your reassurance, your touch. He's like an addict who felt what it feels like to love and beloved in return for the first time and now he can't live without it.
He doesn't eat or sleep properly, his head plagued by the thoughts about you. What if you forgot all about him? What if you're wounded? Where are you even? His fingers itch to trace your face and your scars.
He thinks about how you would scold him for not taking proper care of himself and it makes him miss you even more.
Aven finds you after a few months. It was honestly a coincidence, one of his subordinates saw you in the coffee shop you were working at.
He though that finding you will calm him down but seeing you from afar, looking somewhat peaceful and cozy, having a regular job... it's too much. And what if you really don't need him anymore? Maybe you never did? After all, he's painfully aware that he probably needs you much more than you need him.
And yet, he decides to take this risk. He's a gambler, after all.
"Somehow I'm not surprised you're good even at that. How come you have never made me coffee before, hm?"
You literally freeze on the spot after hearing this familiar voice next to you.
When you finally get to talk, you can see he's really trying to look calm and collected but how can he? His hands are shaky and his voice cracks. It breaks your heart.
He doesn't even let you finish your apology, pressing a finger to your lips.
"Hush, darling. All is forgiven. In fact, I even have an interesting proposal. I'm can be a generous man after all".
He can't fool you. Not with this shaky soft voice. And he knows it as well.
Please hug that fool and kiss him. Swear that you won't ever leave him again. Swear that you want to be by his side. As his bodyguard, as his friend, as something more. So much more. That's all he really need to feel like he's at home.
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wonuwrites · 7 months
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Random things that turn seventeen on (doesn’t have to be sexy or smutty.)
Im curious 🤓
AHHHHH I'm SO excited for this. I absolutely love writing reaction posts like this. Hope it's first of many :D going to do them in a random order bc i'm feeling chaotic as hell rn and I'm not even sorry about it.
Warning: NSFW, Smut *Minors DNI*, also some might be so fluffy that they make your teeth rot.
listening to: (will add what songs I'm listening to while writing each of the guys parts &lt;33)
example "Vernon" will be playing "Tell Me It's A Nightmare by Kim Petras"
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Lee Chan || Dino: Seeing You Wear His Clothes.
It's not that he is possessive of you, but seeing you wear his clothes fills him up with so much pride. Especially if you had taken a selfie and posted it on social media. He'd just be a beaming ray of sunshine and just want to kiss you, hold you, fuck you, and maybe shop for some more clothes that you could potentially borrow.
Wen Junhui || Jun: Reading A Book
Jun knew what it was like to be lost in a good book, so when he saw you were so invested in a book he'd find it so adorable. Especially if you had not noticed him coming in. He'd find it so attractive and adorable. He wouldn't know if he should initiate something or just grab a book he had been reading.
Kwon Soonyoung || Hoshi: Watching You Dance To A Popular Kpop Dance
Soonyoung is one of the best male kpop dancers, if you disagree, argue with a wall and get your eyes checked. anywhore- Soonyoung would find it adorable if you were both just hanging out and you just broke out a dance move that was popular. He would automatically pull you into his arms and kiss your face while giggling. Bonus points if it was one of his songs and you were not one to dance often. He'd want you so bad.
Kim Mingyu || Mingyu: You Eating Food He Cooked For You
Mingyu is so husband material and cooking seems to be a love language of his. So of course, seeing his significant other enjoying what he put together would make him feel so fuzzy and warm inside. Especially if you were enjoying the meal and complimenting him while eating. Like if you were to say, "Oh Mingyu, what could I ever do to repay you for this delicious meal?" He'd take it sexual so quick and you'd be getting dessert a lot sooner than you thought.
Choi Seung Cheol || S. Coups: Seeing Your Competitive Side
This man should be named Choi Seung-competitive-cheol. He loves winning and a good competition. So when he see's you get competitive as well a switch inside him switches. If you are on same team, he will hype you up. However, if you were on opposing sides, he would get even more turned on and competitive. He'd come up to you and would be like "whoever wins is in charge tonight." asdfghjkl; idk im sorry lmao
Yoon Jeonghan || Jeonghan: Doing Dishes
This angel would be coming home from work and would see you doing dishes or whatever and his heart would just warm up. Seeing you do something so casual and domestic would turn him on and he honestly couldn't tell you why. He'd just smile while walking up to give you a back hug. He'd press a kiss behind your ear then giggle when he noticed a brush creep up across your cheeks.
Xu Minghao || The8: Watching You Be Creative
Minghao is such a creative person, so I imagine that if you were also someone who was creative he would really be into that. You could be in your art studio painting something you've been working on forever and his heart would swell up among something else. He just found you in your element so sexy. Might even make him play a more dominant role and ask if you wanted to be creative in another way... together.
Boo Seungkwan || Seungkwan: You Side-Eyeing One Of The Members
Seungkwan is infamous for side-eyeing his members. So when one of his members does a thing and he notices you are also side-eyeing them he would feel so much pride and just want to touch you because there was finally someone who understood what it was like. However, if you were to side eye him, that would be a different story.
Lee Jihoon || Woozi: Bringing Him Food At The Studio
Look, I get this is such a basic bitch answer but hear me out okay? Jihoon would find the gesture so kind and he'd just be so thankful that he would want to return a favor for you. He'd grab the food from you and just be so soft and give you a kiss. If you were both alone in the studio, he'd just lock the door and then spend some much needed and necessary time with you.
Jeon Wonwoo || Wonwoo: You Randomly Saying Something Smart lmao
Wonwoo gets clowned often for saying prestigious or smartass things by the guys but I mean, when you are smart, you are smart. Anyways, you would be hanging out with the guys and all of a sudden you would say something out of the ordinary and smart (not calling you dumb, you just don't use big words like Wonwoo often. ESPECIALLY not in front of him or the guys.) He'd just bite his lip and look at you with such admiration. He'd show you later just how impressed he was if you catch my drift.
Hansol Vernon Chwe || Vernon: TBH Quoting Shrek
First off lmao. Second off, you both would just be hanging out and something would come up that would make you think of the quote. You saying the quote randomly would fluster Vernon and honestly make him fall for you a little more. He always found you precious but this would make him just squish your cheeks and kiss you all over your face. He just was so happy you were his, and he was yours.
Lee Seokmin || DK/Dokyeom: You Animatedly Talking About Something You're Really Into.
It isn't a secret how precious Seokmin thinks you are. Anyone could see it. He wasn't slick. It was really obvious when you would talk about something you were really into. You would get into it and it would just make his already full heart even more full of love for you. Even though he was turned on, he'd wait until you were finished to initiate anything.
Hong Jisoo || Joshua: Your Hair Blowing In The Wind
Oh boy oh boy, Shua would be so embarrassed at how bad he was turned on by something so subtle and innocent. However, it wasn't his fault that you were just so damn hot. You looked like a model the way your hair blew in the wind. It was just so majestic. He just needed to have you as soon as possible.
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sorry these were rough and took awhile. hopefully they don't suck too bad <333
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phefics · 10 months
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YOUR HUNGER GAMES STUFF….I am SHOOK.
There aren’t a lot of blogs I’ve found that share my kink so I have to ask you — how do you think the Hunger Games men would react to the Reader having a thing for being tickled?
ImSoEmbarrassedSendingThisAhhh
omg don’t be embarrassed bestie we are in this shame boat together…i only did their opinion on tickling the reader not the other way around bc that’s how u worded it but lmk if you want headcanons where the roles are reversed <33
peeta would be 100% down — he can get behind almost anything that gets you off, but he hates hurting you. but finding an alternative way to make you squirm helplessly beneath him?? yeah, he’d be into it. at first it seems a little odd to him, i don’t imagine he has a lot of experience with tickling but he’s got some quick, skilled fingers.
gale honestly thinks it sounds weird/childish at first, but once he tries it and sees how it turns you on, he changes his mind pretty quick. he doesn’t really get it, and the act of tickling you does nothing for him arousal-wise, but he’ll do it to make you happy/as foreplay.
finnick isn’t really surprised in any way — he’s pretty well-informed on the kind of shit that happens in people’s bedrooms, knows that your kink isn’t half as weird as some other things he’s heard of. he thinks it’s cute, honestly. like gale, i think he doesn’t expect to get any pleasure from it himself, but he ends up finding it hot to see you a breathless, giggly mess. he likes to tickle you while he’s inside you to feel you clench around him.
coriolanus is straight up not doing that, i’m sorry lmfao. i think he would theoretically get off on any kink that leaves you submissive, physically beneath him, at his mercy, but tickling is just…too cutesy for him. it just feels juvenile to him, and your begging doesn’t sound as pleasing to him if it’s laced with giggles. i think he would try it to humor you, but inevitably be against it.
sejanus is like peeta in the sense that if you like it, he’ll do it. it takes him a little aback at first, he’s never considered that could be sexual, but he quickly sees the appeal of having his hands all over you. he also just really likes making you laugh, so getting to hear you laugh while also turning you on?? i don’t think the act of tickling does anything for him, but the fact that he’s tickling you, knowing that you like it, and your reactions are all hot to him.
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nights-at-crystarium · 3 months
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Fragments - episodes 41-46 author notes
You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!
Get comfy and reread with me the finale of the Il Mheg arc and the intro of a certain loser.
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First off, I wanna emphasize how important this arc’s for Vivi. Had he not liked Il Mheg in general and Feo Ul in particular, the rest of the story would play out very differently, and not in favor of the sundered. His initial positive impression of the First is pretty much the only thing that saves it.
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We've reached a high, physically and emotionally. You know what that means, as per the shb rollercoaster rule :>
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Pan pride pixie blesses Thancred, ca. 2024, colorized. I accidentally gave them the pan colors but hey it works. ALSO! Stars in his eyes.
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Re: distant nightmare, I’ll let you in on a secret, or a third party perspective if you will. Vivi's full of shit, he's too focused on the big picture. He’s narrating this whole story, but his perspective is, well, just that.
Initially this was Vivi's inner monologue, then I thought that I should just let them talk, and it wrote itself.
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More under the cut~
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Drawing a buncha vivi-lookalikes that act soooooorta but not really like him, just slightly off, was a surprisingly fun exercise.
Luckily for Thancred, though, he sniffs out the pixie magic, and knows better than indulging them.
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...Still, what a shitty fucked up day. Sorry, Thancred :’>
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This here’s an example of a moment where I’m uncertain if I’m being too subtle and if this flies over some readers’ heads. He refers to Alisaie’s “job” of dragging Vivi back to msq, which she recently started lowkey dreading (episodes 32-33)
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...Though she goes back to her “duty” in episode 43.
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She's pointedly SILENT throughout the episode, doing her best to hold back.
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Thancred's a man who can say no to begging dogs.
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Gridania mention! Vivi’s gridanian! He never speaks ill of the elementals, he's wary of them even a world apart.
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This pixie's life is something Feo Ul's willing to sacrifice. Episodes 42-43 tell this story in reverse order, yes this’s the pixie that was supposed to agree with Thancred and go with the Scions to the Crystarium.
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As to why there’s a dozen of vivis popping up as a backup: they needed just one fake Vivi to go with the Scions, but try organizing the pixies. Their plan’s already failed when this first pixie-Vivi refused to play their part.
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“Yeah no, our guy’s special, but not as special as to explode in confetti”
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I love his first ingame appearance in that Varis cutscene, this moment has similar energy: barely enters the stage, instantly gets impaled on a long object. This’s not foreshadowing, no, why would you think that-
The “camera” is perfectly still, there’s even some symmetry, demonstrating how calm and prepared Emet is. He didn’t expect much and he’s still disappointed.
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This’s a super old comic. I spent the first half of 2022 testing and trying to find a style for Fragments, back then I had no plans, none, zero, absolutely no interest to give Emet a role bigger than a mention. The earliest version of the script had very few Emet scenes, which, looking back on it, was gonna be a disservice to his character. Well, that changed rapidly in late 2023 when I fell for him so hard that I broke my neck, and now I look back on a lot of what I did with Vivi with new eyes. THE EYEROLL. After spending two years developing a guy for a fun wolgraha chemistry (at the same time I was perfectly aware that Exarch and Emet are foils. I made a foil for Exarch, what on earth did I expect-), I’m going through a mindblow after mindblow as I realize HOW GOOD VIVI IS FOR EMET (and vice versa ofc) and how many things they have in common. This wasn’t always the case, Vivi just gradually got more cynical, tired, ✨grey✨ and everything else that makes a guy consider hitting it with The Other Old Man.
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They’re off to a great start.
From Emet’s pov, this must really hurt, as in how many other shards of Azem might’ve snarled at him like this. Even though he must be numb to it by now, who says that there isn’t the tiniest flicker of hope when he approaches yet another not-Azem. He may deny and hate and try to snuff out that spark, but the fatal Soulmate Magnet keeps doing its thing.
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Parallels to episode 2.
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Apparently, Vivi’s first reaction to encountering his to-be-most-prominent boyfriends is to attack them somehow.
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This’s really, REALLY dumb of him, and he even comments on it shortly after. But yes, his isekai tale in the First was rather pleasant just until now, and it lulled him into the false sense of security. OF COURSE there are ascians everywhere, not just on the Source. Vivi just forgor.
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Emet tests Vivi's reactions to insults/being treated as a lesser, silliness, flirt.
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I regret to inform you that both Vivi and Alisaie have been disarmed so easily. The tone quickly shifts, the weapon’s lowered.
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Alisaie makes bad puns/jokes in canon, I thought it'd fit if she laughed at that kinda jokes too, and in the least fitting situations, to top it off. Alphinaud’s disappointed, even if he can hardly be called an expert in humor.
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“It’s up to you”. Emet stops fooling around, assuming a more serious tone. He may not respect Vivi or his agency here, but he provides him with a choice that's guaranteed to give him some trust points, and uses "we" for an illusion of unity/equality, a not really subtle nudge towards cooperation, it's not me vs you anymore, it's "us".
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Whether Vivi picks up on the manipulation or not remains to be seen, but Emet gets his way here.
Forgive me this lil tangent, but I’m so giddy and excited to write Emet. If Exarch’s decently emotionally intelligent but still obtuse at times, Vivi’s a tier or two above him, he’s not a stranger to manipulation, he registers it being used on him, and doesn’t hesitate to use it too when it suits his fancy. He's quite good at people-ing. Emet, though, Emet’s THE emotional intelligence personified. He’s had literal thousands of years to practice, he leaves everyone else in the dust in this regard. It’s daunting but so exciting to write him, I hope to do him justice.
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Let’s just talk.
𝓛𝓮𝓽’𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓴.
Mark this moment, remember this line for meme value. If these last words aren't famous yet, they WILL become that when we see what they talk their way into <w<
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Yes I'm going all in on tragic irony of Emet's situation.
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Accidental Emet rp, with the hunching over and all. Or maybe Vivi already unwittingly mirrors him. Or maybe he always did- *kicked and dumped in the trash bin*
Man. I'm guilty of enjoying drawing Vivi in genuine distress. He’s so fun when he’s agitated.
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Hidden Angst Time! It's all hehe haha until you realize that this might be a product of the hectic wol lifestyle forcing him to speedrun his emotions like this. Either speedrun, or be left with no opportunity to process them at all.
Also, the sandwiches! The framing’s deliberate, they’re on the foreground all the time, and Vivi only notices them in the very last panel.
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I! Love! This! Face!!!!!! A rare neutral, relaxed, thoughtful face, he isn't performing for anyone here.
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Nevermind Ardbert getting brutally ignored here x’D
The fact that a guy that Vivi had briefly considered as partner material shut himself away in the Crystal Tower for what could be the rest of his life has stuck with Vivi for good. Or should I say for bad. He might not necessarily care about ARRRaha, still it upsets him that he kissed someone who practically killed himself some days later.
I recently talked a lil more about the Bitchless Liar. This’s how Vivi remembers him forever, take it or leave it. But hey, this cool Exarch guy has big balls probably <- in-universe hc \o/
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This episode taught me to draw BREAD.
Even though Exarch’s been nothing but sweet so far, one thing’s to acknowledge a fact with your brain, another thing’s to wrestle with your trauma and paranoia that have all rights to exist and fester. Ever since HW Vivi doesn’t accept food and drinks from anyone except the few trusted sources. This isn’t really covered in this episode, but hopefully hinted at just enough.
He takes a leap of faith. Or maybe he’s simply sick and tired of living Like This. Maybe sandwiches kill him, and he doesn’t really mind. And, when they don’t, he goes through a visible shift in attitude towards Exarch, as we’re able to see in the following episodes.
This’s all I’ve got for now, thanks for reading till the end~
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gluion · 4 months
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persist and resist (but still, fail) ➵ sung hanbin
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sung hanbin x reader
all it takes is one phone call for you to realize what you could’ve had with hanbin
genre/warnings ➵ angst, almost lovers, long-distance but not-in-a-relationship, unspoken words/hidden signals, a lot of wondering of what could’ve been
word count ➵ 728 words
inspired by ➵ “the 1” by taylor swift, that one skype call in “past lives”
a/n ➵ this drabble is very reminiscent of an upcoming fic i have which will a hanbin version entitled “finger trapped (ripped to its seams)” but its taking a bit to pump out (and i’m very much in my feelings as we speak…) so bear with me and enjoy this drabble for now :33 IT’S OUT THOUGH IF YOU WANNA READ IT! do reblog and leave feedback!!
want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist
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it’s quiet uptown. as you smell the winter air, frozen kisses graze your cheeks. sounds of cars have been replaced with the buzzing of lamposts and flakes have taken raindrops’ role. on the snow-piled balcony, you hear the wood crackle behind you.
yet, warmth is stored in the voice on the other line.
“so, what’s it like there?” the rasp that accompanies hanbin’s words remind you of the time zone difference between you two. while it may be crack of dawn in korea, night has fallen at where you stand.
“you’ve asked that question how many times in this call.” a giggle leaves you. “you’re making me think that you never listen.”
a soft hum leaves him. “you know that’s not true.” your fingers grip on the blanket draped on your shoulders. “what are you up to?”
“damn, not even letting me answer the thousand questions you seem to have for me.”
“sorry,” he chuckles, “just never hear from you.”
for a moment, all you can do is sniffle.
“it’s quiet here. everyone’s off to see their families.” your hand reaches out to rail, writing the characters of his name on the snow, as you bask in the stillness of the town. “i like it like this.”
“like it like what?”
“when it’s not busy. it’s only during the winter time when you’ll barely hear a horn or chatter.” a smile makes its way to your lips. “kind of like when we’d sneak into school during the summer time.”
heat waves would do their best to tie you down then, draining you of any energy to enjoy the wonders of summer, but you and hanbin were drawn to adventures. while there would be trips to the mart to grab the familiar taste of chocolate popsicles or the playground you’ve bruised your knees at, the school seemed to call on your names. the empty hallways whispered the narratives of students who came before you two—you were certain that yours and hanbin’s story would be told, as well.
“god, i can’t believe we had so much time to waste then,” hanbin admits over the memory. only a hum leaves you. “i miss it.”
a beat passes.
“yeah, me too.” the whisper barely leaves you.
there’s a life in korea that you’ve lost—the quiet exchange of laughter during classes, the smell of fresh kkwabaegi fresh from the fryer, and the nights spent stargazing.
but in the life you have now—in the stillness of your room during midnights, the rush hours of your commute, the conservations you have with the locals—you can’t help but wonder, wonder, wonder. 
would you be in a 9-to-5 job at a corporate workplace or performing at sold-out venues? would you wake up early in the morning to bake or would you sleep in the comfort of your own bed? or would you go back to school and dive into the niche topics you’ve always wanted to explore?
but would you live alone in a different part of korea or travel around the world with him? would you wake up to the smell of freshly-cooked pancakes or microwaved fried rice from the night before? or would he latch to your body that’s reached the highest degrees, or make him soup during flu season? (he’s always had a weak immune system. did that change?) 
there’s a life in korea that you long for—and there’s a person that you’ve lost. if things were only different, maybe you’d have him for many orbits around the sun.
did he ever think of a life you two could’ve had?
“hey, i have to go,” you say.
“oh,” hanbin’s tone is laced with disappointment, “okay.”
for a moment, not a word is exchanged between you two.
“talk soon?” his question takes you by surprise.
you would’ve loved to agree—yes! i’ll make sure to come visit—but you only smile to yourself with held back tears.
“bye, hanbin.”
that was enough of an answer for him. “okay. bye.”
the call drops. the warmth that your phone held has disappeared. while it makes sense to retreat back into your flat, bask in the heat emitting from the fireplace and read the words of sylvia plath, you remain standing on the snow-piled balcony.
it didn’t matter what you two could’ve had. it didn’t matter if he wondered the same things.
but it could’ve been him—that’s all you know.
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taglist ➵ @kflixnet @blankjournal
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