#well according to SJ anyway

[seaside-tropical-sun]

Who’s laughing now huh >:)

Also lesbians

Swimsuit catalogue - 1

[the-boy-meets-evil]

not according to plan | hjs (teaser)

summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his.

pairing: joshua x f.reader genre: fake dating, strangers to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut rating: explicit (in the full fic), minors DNI word count: ~1.1k in this teaser (full fic ~22k) notes: johnny suh as the ex (sorry!), also includes other idols not in seventeen solely as face claims, there's a heavy focus on the fake dating, mentions of food & drink, warnings to be added to the final fic fic post date: friday, april 26th (full fic here)

a/n: i started this legit months ago as kind of a joke, talking about it with @shuadotcom but it's finally done (and a lot longer than i anticipated).

thank you to: @wonwussy & @kwanisms who read over this for me (too long ago), and to @cheolism @wooahaeproductions @hannieween, & sj for all the brainstorming help along the way. tagging: @aaniag @gyuminusone @crepecakeu

if you'd like to be tagged in this fic (or any of my fics), comment, click here for my tag list, or send an ask 💕

You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghan’s friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, he’s somewhat new to the area, doesn’t know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. There’s no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but he’s not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what he’s walking into. 

Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when they’ll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because “meeting him for the first time at a wedding is gauche” and we wouldn’t want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesn’t actually exist since you haven’t posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesn’t seem to allay her suspicions, though. 

Then, there’s the fact that you’re actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldn’t exactly press the point. Not when you’re planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your ex’s wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you don’t know what Joshua looks like. Don’t know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that he’ll already be at the table when you get there.

It works.

When you give the reservation name at the host stand, you’re immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. It’s not even that you struggle around new people, this is just…well, it’s a lot. It’s out of anyone’s comfort zone. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks. 

His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. That’s all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While you’re appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you. 

In one fluid motion, he’s standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, there’s nothing you can do. You’re completely captivated. 

“You must be Joshua,” you say. Brilliant, you think. That’s obvious.

“It’s nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,” he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you. 

“I feel like he hardly told me about you,” you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.

“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Joshua asks. 

“Go out with…is this a date?” The question comes tumbling out. 

Joshua’s eyes widen in genuine confusion. “Is it not?” 

“What, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?” 

A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how he’s somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information. 

In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact that’s hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks he’s crafty and isn’t going to come out and tell this man what you’re really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that “offhand comment” was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what he’s getting into. Rookie move.)

Now you’re in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans you’ve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. It’s just…well, you’re absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. It’s just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.

To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didn’t actually realize it was a date. It’s hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that he’s absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that you’re not actually looking for something right now. Interesting. 

“So that’s the whole thing and now that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you, I’m sure you’ll understand if we never see each other after tonight,” you finish.

“How am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we don’t see each other after tonight?” Joshua wonders.

let me know if you want to be tagged when i post the full fic next week 💕 (and what you think so far)

[ghostclowning]

SVSSS IDOL AU BRAINROT

i was going insane about it on my twt but here's a brief summary:

LBH is the top ultimate absolute idol with countless fans, one of then being SY. SY loves him sm that he even decided to become an idol himself, hoping to get closer to him(he first discovered LBH when he was in high school,,,since LBH's career started real early). He also dragged SQH into it...but, frankly spoken, they're quite a second-rate band.

Looking at it realistically, both understand that there's no chance they'll ever get to even stand next to LBH, but SY keeps trying!! And SQH hooks up with LBH's hot manager(accidentally)(they're so crazy about it). Anyway, SQH drops out bc yo...screw being a scum idol...they earn way less than they waste. And LBH's manager is hot and offers to live with him and shit. SY can't rly judge him, bc, yeah. SQH even tries to carefully get his hot manager daddy(who happens to be MBJ) to help SY, but fails and never talks about it again. Bros be bros but he likes where he is now and wouldn't want to risk annoying his bf too much. Especially considering how much he can make now being a secret paparazzi/reporter thing, since MBJ basically opened the doors to the big world for him.

One day SY's video with performance got absolutely accidentally spotted by LBH's former agency...YQY immediately notices how similar he is to their idol SJ. And SJ has one major flaw: his absolutely non-idolish temper. On stage he could keep an image, but off stage? Letting him out in public was not the safest thing to do, especially if he was in bad mood.

SY received an invitation for audition, and he passed. He was not as good at SJ, but that could be fixed with some practice; besides, he didn't need to be as skilled anyway. All he had to do is substitute SJ on shows, interviews, fan meetings etc. Of course, SY would have to get rid of all evidences of his past career and stuff, but he gladly agreed bc after SQH's leave he lost any hope. He knew he just won't make it all alone.

He knows that this agency is also the one that LBH initially belonged to, but later left for unknown reasons. Well, now he found out the reasons.

Young Binghe decided to become an idol because someone told him he looks like a famous permormer from the past...He tried looking it up and dived into idol industry. Everybody loved idols, and idols had a lot of fans to love. LBH decided to try bc his life of an orphan, there were no direction or perspectives anyway. He passed the auditions only bc SJ, another idol a couple years older than him, spotted him and recognized his talent immediately. SJ wanted to make a band with LBH, cause in the long run, this talent would bring benefits to SJ as well. After all, if LBH steals too much spotlight, SJ knows many ways how to get rid of him.

At same time, SJ never hesitated to treat LBH like trash, but LBH thought SJ is just trying to make him work harder. And LBH stole the spotlight way, way faster than SJ expected him to. In fact, everyone even forgot about SJ. Everyone was only talking about that one new idol that's now performing with him. and SJ tried to make a scandal around LBH, realizing the danger he possessed. The conflict was regulated by YQY, bc in the long run this could harm SJ and the agency as wellm but LBH could no longer keep justifying SJ. He left the agency, but he now knew better than to trust whoever.

During his time in the agency, he also found out some things about the permormer he once was compared to...and with the help of YQY's connections, figured this man could have been his father. Of course, that was to be kept in a secret...Because his father misteriously disappeared before Binghe was even born. Disappeared bc his reputation has been absolutely ruined, and he was accused in so many crimes that it felt absurd; his rep was so bad, that his lover(as Binghe suspected, that must have been his mother) was killed by some crazy fan...Anyway, according to YQY, who's been in the industry for quite a while and knew it better, "there were so many gossips and rumours that at this point it's hardly possible to say if anything known about him is true".

(In truth, it indeed was mostly fabricated...The only mistake that artist made was falling in love and having affairs with a daughter of a family with huge influence. Said daughter did not want it to end like this, but her family never really asked her opinion.)

LBH now knew how easily one's career can be broken here. And he learned a lot more...curious things. But he made his way up to the top, facing the difficulties, paparazzis and secret offers to trade his face and body for promotions(as for would he agree to those or not, this one leaves that up to your imagination).

He wanted to find out the truth about his parents, but most importantly, he had a taste of everyone's love and attention, and he wasn't ready to give it up. He was sure he won't repeat the mistakes of others...because he's not an idiot.

On stage, his bright smile filled the hearts of others with joy and passion, but nobody knew that behind the curtains, his own heart is cold and empty.

But when SY gets to meet him for the first time, he has to play SJ's role!! Fuck!! Meanwhile LBH stops playing as soon as he's out of the fans' reach.

But one day LBH figures out SY is a substitute!! Which is dangerous cuz they cannot let it leak that SJ is a fake!! but LBH doesn't hurry to reveal the secret, bc SY is kinda fine and fun to toy with....and then......... And here i got exhausted lol bye

[liskantope]

Since the "LGBT+ content in schools" issue keeps coming up, here are some of my thoughts directly on it.

Charitably speaking, I think conservatives are afraid of a particular, narrow, modern, very SJ-ish social agenda and belief system being shoved down their kids' throats. I do have some sympathy with this concern, although I'm not sure the extent to which anything is actually being taught that I as a (more progressive-thinking) parent would object to: I do hear what I would consider disturbing stories but have little way of knowing how embellished and/or unrepresentative they are.

So anyway, a bunch of conservatives have whipped up a moral panic about it and are fighting back with legislating (what are, at least according to some) bans against talking about the existence of gay or trans people at all, or anything about race that might possibly make white kids uncomfortable in any way. Which is absolutely absurd, a "cure" worse than the (possible) disease.

(And disallowing gay/trans/queer teachers from, for instance, disclosing that they have a same-gender partner, even though it's been normalized for decades and is still permissible for a teacher to bring up their opposite-gender partner, is just outright homophobic, period. That shouldn't be too hard to see.)

I've tried reading the legislation (for instance, the so-named-by-opponents "Don't Say Gay" bill), and I'm bewildered as to what it actually adds up to or how it can even function as legislation. What a lot of it says amounts to moderate, common-sense-sounding guidelines that don't actually appear to demand that "gay" not be mentioned in any way, but it relies on phrases like "appropriate for their age group". Well, who gets to decide that? How is this legislation ever enforced or teaching ever policed based on it?

My only guesses as to what conservatives think they're doing is that (1) the laws are almost meaningless but serve as a grandstanding move meant to signal "Hey look, we're on the right side, we're doing something about it!"; and (2) since the wording of the law requires a ton of individual judgment and interpretation, perhaps in the most conservative school zones where all the people in power are sufficiently conservative it really could be used as a sledgehammer to ban ANY mention of anything they don't like.

Meanwhile, I think there could be some common-sense guidelines that allow teachers to bring up the existence of gay and trans people and allude to the issues and even (to kids above a certain age) discuss some of the civil rights battles surrounding them, without shoving any particular highly controversial political ideology down their throats. The idea is to stick with basic facts about social reality. Gay and bi people exist (at the very least, in the sense of people who choose to pursue same-sex relationships). Trans people exist (at the very least, in the sense of people who identify as a different gender than indicated by their sex at birth), and some of them choose to go on hormones or get sex reassignment surgery. Gay and trans people are people too. There has been and still is a lot of stigma against them, and there have been struggles to secure them rights for certain things -- for instance, same-sex couples couldn't get married in most places until last decade! By the way, kids, I prefer they/them pronouns. You're encouraged to think for yourselves about what that might mean and how to feel about it, but it's a preference I'm asking you to respect and you should respect such preferences among your classmates. Mr. So-and-so who teaches in the next classroom has a husband. You probably know several other gay and bi people, and they're people too. Some of you may come to identify or already identify as not straight or not cis.

Of course that won't satisfy everyone, and it can't be done in an entirely non- politically biased way, and conservatives may see plenty of reason to complain that these things are even being mentioned or that the teacher has gone as far as normalizing people who fall under the queer umbrella as human beings without at least criticizing them as having lost their way.

But it's, to my view, subtly but significantly different from very positive actions that go beyond neutrally describing reality with an underlying default of respecting others. That would include enthusiastically pushing kids to analyze their genders and sexualities all the time, telling them "You can be whatever gender you want; what gender would you like to be now?", teaching highly politicized lessons on social justice which involves students rating their degrees of marginalization and separating the room into "oppressors" and "oppressees", constantly centering everything around a scrupulosity-triggering activist mindset, and many more things.

[tamelee]

Do u know what naruto and sasuke still do when it comes to their powers? Ive seen a video but im still confused. They have all elements and yinyang but they also lost that power i think sorry if its a long question but im just confused

Oh!! You should really ask someone else! Tbh I'm just as confused as you Nonee, (if not, a lot more) maybe someone has some sort of meta? Feel free to share- (I too would love to read it because I struggle with this the most in my story xD) Every time I try to figure out what exactly determines the categorization I get a headache-- it’s so confusing aaaaarrghh*incoherent noises* 

It’s not really what Hagoromo gave, but how it manifested within them that caused the ‘power-up’-specifics and what it was meant to do. The yin/yang sun/moon marks faded after they sealed miss alien and appeared again on Hagoromo. Therefore, they lose that... and then the difference is seen during VotE2.... sorta. But what it is exactly and what it means... beats me.... Hmm’ badly. It is confusing because Naruto still has a piece of all the TB’s within him so where exactly is the border anyway? And yeah, there's the elemental aspect of it too... In ‘the Last’ they retconned canon to oblivion for miss princess’ sake, Naruto can still fly and in Boruto Manga, Naruto uses power that was only possible because of Hagoromo to fight the aliens... at least according to fans, but idk. So...

Most discussions I've read quote the Naru-wiki, which partially relies on the databooks and filler material. A lot of info on power had to be filled in afterward to complete character sheets since most of the exposition is weaved through the story in snippets and often leaves a lot of room for inconsistency and interpretation. With that comes a lot of guesswork. Articles and books mention many things that were never even in the manga, and they add element natures to characters just because some novel said so (like Sakura using fire...). And if anyone can learn the basics from any element (like all Shinobi learning/using a simple earth-based Jutsu out of nowhere) then what does it even mean and why does your affinity matter then? Some commentary, both in the databooks and anime, is subjective and not particularly well-thought-out either.

There's also the anime where fillers make statements about kekei-genkai, Jutsu affinities, and elemental natures that often contradict each other, not to mention variables that aren't adequately covered. On top of all that, SJ actually made some articles about the yin/yang Six Paths' power, yet none of that info was ever stated in the story.

On one hand this makes sense... I’m glad we aren't infodumped during the story because that gets boring quickly and imo it takes away some of the fantasy aspects. We don’t need to know exactly how everything works in fiction, but on the other hand... this makes me wanna rip my hair out!

[youreverydayestj]

ESTJ Hate: A Rant From an ESTJ’s Perspective

TLDR: ESTJs are not jerks, narcissists, or arrogant assholes. ANY type can be like that, so knock it off and stop bullying them.

As the title says, this blog/ article is going to be a rant about the type community and their attitude toward ESTJs.

And this hate can be applied to other types, like my fellow ESFJs and any sensor in the community.

But today we’ll focus on the most hated MBTI type: ESTJs (aka my type).

Disclaimer 

I sincerely hope that you’ll read this article with an open mind and please try to understand where I’m coming from despite the… heated tone this article has. 😅 

I get it if you think I’m mistyped, but I’m not gonna prove my type to you. Take it or leave it. (It's not this article's point anyway).

If I’m wrong about my type, then so be it.

But I hope that this article will take the heat off of ESTJs, because whether I’m one or not – they don’t deserve the hate and bullying. (Nobody does).

So if you hate ESTJs so much that you’re just going to barrage me with hate comments, or if you’re not open to learning more about them, then feel free to skip this article (and this whole blog).

But if you *are* open, then proceed unto the forbidden scrolls of wisdom. 📜 *magical gate opening noises*

Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

If you’ve been into MBTI for any amount of time, you know that everyone hates ESTJs. Like… a lot.

(Fun fact: We’re the #1 most hated type in the community 🥳🙌)

And it’s not hard to see why.

Because, according to the infallable internet, we ESTJs are:

Tradition-oriented/ anti-progression

Bullies, jackasses, and know-it-alls who refuse to admit we’re wrong

anti-INFP (according to a YouTube video thumbnail lmao)

Control freaks and micromanagers

Extremely insecure and obsessed with social status

Unrealistic perfectionists whose lives revolve around work, recognition, and climbing up the ladder

Narcissists and insecure as hell

The enemy and ultimate roadblock to change

Stuck in our ways

Mean, cruel, heartless, hot-tempered

Smacking everyone on the head with a rulebook

Anti-individuality

Obsessed with getting recognition

Stepping on everyone’s toes to get their way no matter what

Stubborn for no reason

Always angry, pissed, and yelling at everyone for no reason

Desperate to be in charge, power-hungry assholes who shouldn’t be in charge

Terrible with people and hated by everyone who has to work with us

Bossy control freaks

The list goes on and on, and so does the endless hate.

*sighs and slides down wall*

If I had a penny for every time someone changed their mind about me as a person after doing a type reveal, I’d be set for the rest of my miserable life. *faint kazoo goes off in the background*

Then again, I can see why people would hate us with these extreme descriptions… even though it’s stupid.

ESTJs have a double whammy in MBTI: We’re both Te users, and SJs.

Let’s face it: Most people wanna be a Ti user, or at least that’s what I’ve seen.

Apparently, Ti means you have a brain and can think for yourself, while Te... is just bossy or domineering.

But, of course, ENTJs and INTJs don’t get any hate because they have Ni, which is supposedly future-oriented and not stuck in tradition. *cough cough, Si can be like this too*

SJs, who have high Si, are stereotyped as… well… traditional.

Si is described as *super* boring at best, and sounds like they don’t have anything interesting going on in their lives.

Apparently, if you’re an SJ, you’re alllll about upholding traditions and that’s it.

Not only do we not change the world, we keep change from happening.

We’re stabilizers, and incapable of having fun, or having deep conversations with people cuz we’re not intuitives.

That’s a giant pile of stereotype-infused crap, by the way. ^

Si is NOT about tradition.

If you wanna understand what Si *actually* is, then watch the following video, and/or read the blog I’m linking below.

Introverted Sensing with Your Chill ISFJ featured on Joyce Meng’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s

Exploring Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/

(I’ll link these at the bottom of this blog too, so feel free to check these out later).

So now begins the rant. Enjoy. *deeply inhales like Leorio*

TLDR: ESTJs can be nice, empathetic, open-minded people. We are NOT pissed off Karens who wanna dictate your life.

ANY type can be a control freak, angry, pissed off, controlling, etc.

If you’re typing someone as an ESTJ because of stereotypes and that list of ESTJ traits the internet came up with, you’re typing people wrong.

Stereotypes are fun for a while, but they get old quick – like your favorite food. Or memes.

Instead, if you wanna learn more about MBTI and typology, you need to learn the cognitive functions and learn the nuances.

(Spoiler alert: There are *lots* of them. This isn’t 16 personalities or dichotomies).

Stereotypes are great for starting out and building a foundation.

But you need to go further if you wanna understand type and people (or yourself, if you’re as self-absorbed as I am).

And honestly? It’s way more interesting that way. :P

If you wanna understand Extraverted Thinking in INTJs, ENTJs, ISTJs, and ESTJs, read these two articles.

My favorite article: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

The Dual Nature of Te: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/

If you’re struggling to find your type, then these could help. Keep an open mind about it, since Te is HEAVILY misunderstood.

Either way, you’ll learn something new and you won’t regret it. :) 

So while we’re here, let’s talk about some ESTJ stereotypes and bust them.

Feel free to grab some Ruffles while you’re at it, cuz this is gonna be a long one.

Why are ESTJs so mean?

We’re not. Or at least not on purpose.

Everyone has a different idea of what being nice and being mean are. But if we’re talking extremes, I’m gonna assume you’re imagining us screaming our heads off and making you cry at work.

In that case, that’s not an ESTJ.  Anyone can be mean, including feelers. Anyone can lose their temper and lash out.

That’s something outside of type.

If you wanna figure out someone’s MBTI type, you need to find out *why* they’re doing what they’re doing. I cannot stress enough that MBTI is about the WHY and HOW, **NOT** the “what.”

Are they frustrated because they were thwarted and missed a deadline?

Were they having an off day? (Happens to everyone)

Are they healthy or unhealthy?

Are they secure or insecure? What are they insecure or worried about, WHY, and HOW are they dealing with it?

How do they see themselves? What’s their biggest problem and why?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

You need to ask yourself (and them, if you can) questions like those ^ if you wanna type someone so you can get a well-rounded view of them.

In other words: If you wanna get better at finding people’s MBTI type or your own, you need a well-rounded view of them.

And even then, you may not get it right even if you’ve spent a long time observing this person or talking to them. Frustrating, I know.

Typing people is hard because people are complicated and nuanced. I’ll probably write an article about typing people and all that jazz later on.

Anyway, this is turning into a ramble.

The point is: Being a jerk does NOT make someone an ESTJ. And being nice doesn’t mean they can’t be one.

Being a narcissistic, controlling, arrogant know-it-all doesn’t make anyone an xSTJ. Period.

2. Why are ESTJs hated?

Simple: Stereotypes. ESTJs are often described in the worst light humanly possible while other types get a pass or praise for doing the same things we do. *end credits start rolling*

All jokes aside, most people don’t understand what high Te and high Si look like in real life.

They just assume that Te doms are bossy workaholics who love making people cry, and that SJs are stuck in their ways and refuse to change. (This is incorrect).

Combine the two, and you get STJs: the types no one wants to be. (Spoiler alert: NTJs and STJs are FAR more similar than you think).

Sure, every stereotype may have some truth to it, but ESTJs get FAR more hate than any type I’ve seen.

Spend a day on type databases, discord groups, etc. and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

“ESTJs are bossy, mean, controlling, traditional, and stuck in the past. They have no lives or meaning outside of work as a manager, and they hate INFPs. They’re efficient, but that’s the only good thing about them.”

Every blog ever

*rolls eyes* ^ This is just… *sighs*

It’s genuinely ridiculous how much hate an ESTJ gets compared to their glorified intuitive counterpart.

One letter makes a world of a difference. (People do be simping for ENTJs 😩💦). And no, I'm not jealous.

Don’t get me wrong – There are plenty of solid blogs about us out there.

Unfortunately, most people don’t find them or read them, since first impressions mean *a lot.*

Like the list way up there said, ESTJs are described in the worst light possible.

We have way more cons than pros, and the pros we *do* have make us look like workaholics, or at the very best, as managers with no lives or hobbies outside of work. -_-

Don’t get me wrong – we can absolutely become workaholics. I, myself, find most of my fulfillment in work. (Yeah, I’m not helping my case, am I? 😐)

But guess what? ANYONE can become a workaholic. ANYONE can be mean. ANYONE can be a nightmare boss or co-worker to work with.

Instead of assuming that every mean person is an ESTJ, try to figure out WHY they’re that way… or if they even think they’re that way.

Thinkers tend to be direct… assuming they’re not struggling with trauma, low self-esteem, etc. (Which any type can, including ESTJs).

No, I'm not excusing asshole behavior. I'm trying to say that thinkers generally don't see their direct nature as a problem.

But chances are, if you were honest about how they were, they'll stop. Or at least the healthy ones will adapt.

I’d offer another list of scenarios, but that’ll turn into a ramble. And I think you get the idea. 🙃

Side tangent aside, believe it or not: We have lives outside of work, and not every single one of us are career-oriented people or workaholics. :wow:

Lazy ESTJs exist. But chances are, they’re probably mistyped as a different type, since Te doms aren’t described in a realistic light.

And even when they are, they’re pigeon-holed as workaholics. (Which is stereotypical thinking at best).

And even if we were: There’s nothing wrong with that. If you like work, regardless of your MBTI type, go work.

Don’t let anyone bully or pressure you into doing or not doing something.

3. Why are ESTJs so judgmental?

Because we’re human. *flips hair*

Everyone judges everything regardless of their type, whether you like it or not.

I guess the question here is: Why are we so loud and obnoxiously vocal about it? Well, we may not be.

Being vocal about something means you need to be confident in it. That confidence may be true confidence, or just arrogance to mask insecurity.

And believe it or not – ESTJs can go either way.

In other words, this is NOT a type thing! Everyone judges everything, since we all have two judging functions.

And even then, despite being Te doms, we may not choose to share or vocalize our opinions on things if we struggle with low self-esteem, self-doubt, or anxiety.

We can often shut down and choose a passive or cooperative way of doing things.

It just depends on our mood, how confident we're feeling, etc. Te can be used in a supportive way.

It’s almost like we’re humans, and not a stereotype that can only default to one reaction towards insecurity...

Finally, we’re “judgmental” because the internet just wants to paint us in a bad light whenever possible and lift INFPs up. And it pisses me off. (No, I don't hate INFPs).

When an INFP chooses to stand up for what they believe in, they’re praised and glorified as an underdog who’s trying to change the world.

But when an ESTJ does the same or similar thing, they’re shat on for being stubborn, arrogant, angry, and narrow-minded know-it-alls who can’t stand change.

Do you see the HYPOCRISY there?

And no – I don’t hate INFPs. In fact, I have INFP friends I like spending time with. (Yeah. Believe it or not, ESTJs and INFPs **can** get along. It’s about MATURITY, common interests, etc. NOT TYPE).

Why are ESTJs obsessed with social status, looking good, and protecting their reputation?

Because we’re human, and that’s what EVERYONE does to an extent.

I don’t care what your type is. Everyone cares about how they’re seen to some extent.

Sure, you got some apathetic people who have given up on life and decided to F it, but everyone has insecurities and everyone either cares or used to care.

Welcome to being human.

As for being obsessed with social status and image, this could happen for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one is that they're insecure. (Duh).

The important thing to consider here is WHAT they’re insecure about and WHY they’re insecure.

Sure, a Te dom can be obsessed with status and image, but guess what? So can FPs and Ti/Fe users.

However, I will acknowledge that this particular insecurity with how you’re seen and status tends to point to an imbalance between your introverted judging (Ji) and extraverted judging (Je) function.

In other words, you’re more likely to be an EJ or IP if you struggled with this your whole life.

Again, the key words here are “more likely.” Any type can be insecure and image-focused.

Nutshell: An insecure ESTJ can become obsessed with how other people see them, but insecurity and obsessing over how people see you is NOT an ESTJ thing. Any type can do this.

Are ESTJs narcissists?

No. They can be, but being a narcissist isn’t the same as being an ESTJ.

ANY type can be stubborn, gaslight, refuse to change their mind, and display narcissistic behaviors.

Any type can:

Be arrogant

Gaslight

think they’re always right

Manipulate people

beobsessed with their image

Be cruel, humiliate people, become abusive

Be a pain to be around/ toxic

Etc.

ANY. TYPE.

And no – narcissism is not more common in ESTJs. Every type has an equal shot of becoming this way.

If you’re using the ESTJ label, or any MBTI type to justify or explain your or someone else’s toxic behavior, then you need to look somewhere else because being a toxic and difficult person has NOTHING to do with your actual type.

HOW and WHY you do what you do can point to your type. Not the behavior itself.

So slapping a label onto someone who’s like that and calling them an ESTJ is lazy vibe typing at the very best.

So what should you do in that situation? I don’t know. (Yeah, real helpful, I know).

But calling them an ESTJ and shitting on them isn’t going to help you *or* them.

People get stressed out, lash out, and snap. It’s part of being human.

But if they’re a narcissist, and you want advice on how to deal with narcissists, you’ll have to look somewhere else.

Why are ESTJs so bossy?

It depends on how you define ‘bossy.’

Like I mentioned earlier, every neutral trait an ESTJ may have immediately gets put in the worst possible light, and it’s stupid. (Yeah, I’m a little worked up and frustrated at this).

Sure, narcissistic, know-it-all ESTJs exist, but guess what?

ANY TYPE can be narcissistic, arrogant, and a know-it-all who refuses to consider alternative options.

Here’s a possible answer though: Te users tend to sound FAR more set in stone than we actually are.

Therefore, we can *sound* bossy even though we don't mean to.

Chances are, we’re open to feedback and we WILL change our minds if you give us a good reason.

Tertiary Ne *does* make us more open to sudden changes than our IJ counterparts. 🙃

Hell, we’ll gladly put you in charge if we think you know what you’re doing.

(Which is honestly not that hard. I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things, and I like using my Te to SUPPORT people and systems, not necessarily lead).

Why are ESTJs so insensitive and disrespectful?

We’re not. Or at least we don’t mean to be.

Again, it depends on what you consider insensitive, disrespectful, mean, etc.

Cuz here’s the thing: Most ESTJs don’t see themselves that way because they think they’re just saying it as it is.

Unless they had a traumatic past, struggle with low self-esteem, or something that made them soften their Te (which is pretty common) – they’re probably just being direct.

But I can promise you this: A HEALTHY ESTJ WILL change when you give them feedback.

Unhealthy ones may get stuck up, but being stubborn, arrogant, or defiant against feedback are NOT signs you or the person you can’t stand is an ESTJ.

ESTJs have inferior Fi, which can make them incredibly empathetic if they’ve experienced what you did.

People don’t often realize it, but inferior Fi (assuming we haven’t suppressed it) influences us WAY more than most people realize. (And it’s not surprising, since we never talk about it lol).

An ESTJ with decently developed Fi, or someone who was raised to be empathetic, sympathetic, nice, etc. will NOT look like the description. (That’s a good thing, by the way).

I suspect that many conflict-avoidant or even people-pleasing ESTJs get mistyped as other types because of this, including me.

I mistyped as every type except ESTP and INFJ before finding my type because I couldn’t relate to the description at all.

But this article, along with other minor things, changed my mind on possibly being a high Te user: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/ 

Why do ESTJs think they know everything, make you feel stupid, and crap?

I’ll admit that Te can sound a lot more certain and set in stone than it actually is, so this has a little credit to it.

But, in a nutshell, condescending behavior is NOT a sign that someone is an ESTJ.

This know-it-all, condescending, narcissistic image that everyone has of us makes me roll my eyes and it gets tiring.

We’ll probably barrage you with questions if what you’re saying doesn’t match up with what we think or know is true.

But guess what? Every type can do this. It’s called thinking for yourself, which is a good thing.

I’ll admit we can sound arrogant to certain types, and it can feel like we’re insisting we’re right, but we’re just trying to see if you know what you’re talking about.

After all – Te *is* about competence and authority.

TLDR: Any type can do this. It’s not an ESTJ thing.

Why are ESTJs so angry, have a hot temper, and get mad so easily?

I can’t speak for every ESTJ, but I usually get this way when someone gets in my way. If I want something, I (usually) go get it.

So when someone or something thwarts me, it pisses me off.

And if you’re being honest with yourself, you could probably relate to that to *some* extent.

In other words: Having a short temper is NOT an ESTJ thing.

It depends on WHY you or the person you hate has a short temper.

But honestly?

When I am thwarted, my pissed off-ness comes off as frustration most of the time, not necessarily fire-breathing rage. (And even if it did, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that :P)

Why do ESTJs never change their mind?

Another wonderful stereotype. *rolls eyes*

We can get stubborn about getting something done a certain way because people don’t do it up to a standard. This is generally a GOOD thing.

Standards exist for a reason. Standards create consistency, AND THIS IS A GOOD THING.

Especially in fields where safety is critical, like construction, engineering, or any field that involves maintaining consistency.

We can also get stubborn about our opinions and think we’re right… but so can any type.

I find it funny how ESTJs get shat on for not changing our minds while other types (like INFPs) get praised for having a backbone.

The hypocrisy is stupid at best and makes me wanna roll my eyes at people who think of ESTJs as the devil and INFPs as these wonderful angelic creatures who we torment for fun at work.

On a serious note, healthy ESTJs are open to possibilities and change because of tertiary Ne.

We got a playful contemplative side that can make us mistype as NFPs or any other type.

If you don’t see that side in us, it’s probably because we’re not in the mood, you don’t know us well enough, or cuz we don’t like you.

And ESTJs will absolutely change their mind if they find your reasoning is better, or your process is more efficient.

Funny how people say we’re stubborn and refuse to change our minds while accusing us of being mindless sheep who follow the crowd… *insert gigantic eye roll and facepalm*

Bonus question: Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

Because it’s the internet, and the internet loves pity parties and shitting on a type together.

Stereotyping ESTJs into these angry, narcissistic, arrogant know-it-alls is much easier (and meme-able) than understanding Te, Si, and all that jazz.

And if I’m being honest, I used to care. And if I’m being *really* honest, I still do care.

That’s why I’m writing this stupid article so I can hope that at least *one* person can change their minds about us, or at least consider it.

Anyway, that’ll be all for this article. I know it was super repetitive, but I wanted to be thorough and make a point.

(Point is: Stop bullying ESTJs).

Now, if you have any questions or comments, comment down below or shoot me a dm here on Tumblr!

I’m mostly running this blog for fun to throw my thoughts out, so I won't be super active. I'll throw out more articles and blogs in the future if I'm feelin' it :P

Referenced Articles You Should Check Out:

If you wanna learn more about Extraverted Thinking, read this: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

Why Te users can be nice in the right context: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/ 

Video featuring Your Chill ISFJ onJoyce Meng’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s 

Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/ 

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 5: LA TERREUR ET LA VERTU (1964)

1. Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens! Welcome to yet another meeting of our little convention! Seeing as today (September 6th) is my birthday, this review is a special gift to this lovely community I’m honored to be a part of.

La Terreur et La Vertu is a bit less known in our community than The Black Book or LRF but it had already been on my radar for some time when I finally decided to make a review of it.

Or rather, a good friend of mine helped me decide and graciously provided me with the links to find the entire thing. Shoutout to Citizen @saintjustitude , you’re really cool (in my humble opinion).

Anyway, back to the subject of our meeting.

This movie, which had apparently been released straight on TV, is broken up into two parts which are called “Danton” and “Robespierre”. Both form a part of an anthology of period movies in the series called La Camera Explore le Temps, which tackles historical events, including various elements of the Frev era before, during and after the entire thing.

Both “chapters”, so to speak, are available on YouTube but only in French with no subtitles, at least according to my knowledge, so I don’t know if there’re versions with English subtitles or not. Sorry about that.

So, with that out of the way, let’s find out how exactly the movie handled the complex topic of Frev and if we can learn a thing or two about portraying this time period from this piece.

2. The Summary

The Danton chapter follows the downfall of Danton, as you may have guessed. We see his trial and imprisonment, Maximilien’s hesitation to convict him and all the drama that ensues in the process.

Meanwhile, the Robespierre chapter shows us a glimpse of the buildup to Thermidor, a bit more of Max as a person, Committee shenanigans and, finally, the Thermidorian Reaction itself. It also includes actual historians discussing the people and the events portrayed both before and after the camera switches to the actual time period.

Let’s see how good a job both of these chapters did.

3. The Story

Now, the story in both parts is, for the most part, very well-paced. Events don’t feel condensed or skipped over to a ridiculous level and I really like the fact that we get a peek into Max as a person too, not just a revolutionary.

That said, I felt like in the second chapter the scene with the Committee was slightly dragged out but not by a big margin and I didn’t get tired of it because that scene ended before it could be tiring. Or maybe it was tiring because I’m still not as fluent in French as I would like to be, I can’t say for sure.

Otherwise, the emotional stuff hits when it should but we also get wholesome and heartwarming moments here and there, like interactions between Max and Eléonore or Max with SJ so I’d say there’s a good balance of wholesomeness, intensity and tragedy.

Speaking of tragedy, I really liked the narrative choice of avoiding showing the actual executions of the characters. It’s implied through the imagery of the guillotine so you know these people are doomed and this, at least for me, caused more dread than the executions in LRF. Sometimes the best things in a story aren’t those the spectators see directly but those that imply stuff while leaving room for imagination.

The story in general, meanwhile, is a refreshing change from the stereotypical “good and evil” struggle, which is always a plus. None of the events feel oversimplified and no character feels like a shallow caricature.

Speaking of the characters, let’s take a closer look at them.

4. The Characters

As Citizen @saintjustitude put it while discussing this movie with me and recommending it, this is the only pro-Robespierre movie, and this definitely shows in the way the characters are portrayed.

Robespierre is a flawed but well-intentioned sympathetic revolutionary who is trying to do what’s right for the country to which he is incredibly devoted. He doesn’t eagerly execute people here like in propaganda pieces, nor is he depicted as a dictator, which makes this portrayal pretty accurate and I genuinely sympathized with this version of Max.

Saint-Just, which is even rarer, is also an overall sympathetic character, genuinely devoted to Max to the point that their friendship can be read as something more, at least to some people. I would argue that he steals the show. He is also not a conventionally pretty boy for a change, which is accurate, but he does sport an earring. We don’t know if the real SJ wore those but it’s a nice detail and forgivable.

Danton is also incredibly flawed but we see his relationship with Max and for me it was easy to understand why Max didn’t really want Danton to die and hesitated.

Fouché is a motherfucker whom I wanted to strangle but, luckily enough, he is not in the movie for long periods of time so he is in luck...This time.

Couthon and Eléonore Duplay make appearances and play smaller roles in the story. The latter is especially good because I melted when I saw just how genuinely gentle she is with Max.

One flaw I can name is probably the fact that other Thermidorians seemed to be absent from the story but maybe it’s because the budget didn’t allow to hire a huge cast or maybe I missed something.

Either way, realistic and complex characters rock.

5. The Acting

Holy shit, this is one of the best instances of acting I’ve ever seen.

I don’t know if any of the actors were considered famous at the time but it’s clear that the cast is extremely talented and they seem to be their characters instead of just playing their characters.

Excellent job in the acting department.

6. The Setting

The fact that the budget was probably low shows - this movie doesn’t have much in terms of decorations and stuff but it’s clear that a lot of care went into everything they did end up having.

The costumes, the hairstyles, the interiors and exteriors, everything looks realistic and from the appropriate time period.

No mullets or top hats here. ;)

7. The Conclusion

All in all, an excellent pro-revolution movie. If you’re good at French or manage to find it with subtitles, definitely give it a shot. I personally recommend it.

With that, let us conclude this meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay tuned for updates and, as always, I’ll see you soon.

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[focsle]

Sliding to the base to finish this joke before the act 1 finale. Rewritten parody of Moana’s ‘You’re Welcome’ only it’s Jonahlias @ all the Nightmare Apocalypse denizens. Lyrics under the readmore.

Do you see what’s happening here? You thought it was a statement, but it’s strange. Now you can’t turn your eyes away, it’s perfect! It’s nice to know my Archive doesn’t change. Open the door, let’s begin, 200 years, now we’re at the end. Apologies for my deception, Jon, But I’ll take the chance to monologue.

What can I say except you’re welcome, For the eye that bears witness above. Hey it’s okay, it’s okay you’re welcome, For the monster-house you share with your love.

Hark, Who helped them hear the piper’s song? Mud, blood and gunfire, All day long.

And where the maypole stands, With the rot in their hands, Well, it’s all according to plan.

I invited the Circus to town. You're welcome! To tear your sense of self inside out.

And laid the ground for the Buried’s worms. You're welcome! Down down down in the earth.

So what can I say except you're welcome, For the inevitable march to our End (wait).

No need to thank me, Jude, You're welcome! To help your raging inferno ascend.

You're welcome! You're welcome!

To continue down the list Moorland House, the estate has grown, Stubborn Peter, if you’d only known. And Jared’s garden all flesh and bone, Has me to thank for all seeds sown. The Spider’s stage With acts of three, A gift in exchange for her blessing to me. And Callum Brody, All of thirteen, I gave you the Dark to harvest their screams. And the Vast, such a sprawl, such a great grieving beast, but for all my favors Fairchild claims YOU, Jon, are the most important person this world’s seen.

Well, anyway let me say you're welcome For the wonderful world that you know. Hey, it's okay, it's okay You're welcome! But come to think of it, I gotta go! Being the king of a ruined world, Isn’t working out quite like I hoped. Turns out I’m just another sucker here, And I never even got my throne! You're welcome! You're welcome! Damn it...

[trutimeline]

idislikecispeople, The Most Infamous Dyscourse Blogger: Part 1.0, Rumors

idislikecispeople, also known as many names throughout her time on Tumblr (such as Adele, Kat, Mami, Samantha and Sayaka), was a former Tumblr blogger who became infamous for coining the term "tucute", among many other controversial things she has posted on her blogs. This was supposed to be one, very long masterpost about her, but Tumblr's post editor is a bitch and won't let me do that.

In this post, I'll be debunking or confirming rumors commonly spread about idislikecispeople. The rest of my posts about her will each be dedicated to a specific controversial belief she held or situations she got into. For simplicity's sake, I'll be referring to idislikecispeople as Kat for the rest of this post and future ones.

Rumors

Kat Coined the Terms "Truscum" and "Tucute"

Verdict: Partially True

Kat coined the term tucute, but she did not coin the terms truscum or transmedicalist.

Here's a screenshot of Kat's original definition of a tucute:

Transcript:

What is Tucute?

What does tucute mean?

Tucute is basically just the opposite of truscum, it’s a term and community for trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis individuals created to separate anti-truscum from truscum and to serve as a safe place from truscum and from cis people, where they believe that being trans requires dysphoria, we do not,where they think that being trans is a medical condition, we do not,and where they deny numerous gender identities on the basis that it “discredits the trans community” we do not.

What are the prerequisites to be a part of the tucute community?

You have to be trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis in general

You have to accept all pronouns and gender identities

You haveto believe that dysphoria is not necessary to be trans

You have to dislike truscum

You cannot side with truscum or believe in their ideology

You cannot misgender anyone no matter how mad they make you

You cannot be an ableist whatsoever

Did you invent the tucute community? Why?

I indeed did coin the tucute term and community and anyone who says otherwise are creeps who are trying to steal it from me and redefine it for their own nefarious doings. I started this community so anti-truscum could separate themselves from truscum and cis people who are a part of the truscum community, it serves as a safe space from both truscum and cis people.

I’m cis, can I be tucute if I believe in your movement and want to help?

No, you can’t be tucute if you’re cis, you can only be a tucute ally, and you need to be sure to never speak for or over a trans person.

I see a lot of tucuties being just as harmful as truscum, what will you do about it?

There isn’t much I can do to them other than ask them to stop aligning with the tucute community, and of course, that doesn’t mean they will. Also be noted that truscum and cis people will pretend to be tucute just to tarnish the name of the tucute community, so tread lightly, you might be talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Spread the word, use the tag #tucute and join the army today!

[A digital drawing of Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica in her magical girl form, with a banner underneath her reading "Tucute 4 U!"]

(source) (source)

Kat Was a Cisgender Woman Who Lied About Being a Transgender Woman

Verdict: False

This rumor primarily comes from a post on Kat's oldest known Tumblr blog, chromaghost, where she claims that she wasn't MTF and only tagged a selfie as such because she thought that transgender people were "cool".

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: are you a mtf? i seen it tagged on one of your photos.

No lol. I wanted to post it to the tag because transgender people are cool :3

(source) (source) (source)

However, Kat addressed this post and made it clear she very much was a transgender woman multiple times on her later blogs. This claim can also be confirmed with nude photos Kat posted online, which I don't feel comfortable spreading, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. I also don't feel comfortable directly encouraging you to go and dig up those nudes, as most of her nude photos were either taken when she was a minor, spread without her consent and/or were uploaded because people pressured her into posting nudes to "prove" she was a transgender woman.

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: you bound with ace bandage in one of your selfies. i don't know what to think about you anymore. according to some people you're a 27 year old cis woman scamming us, but you say you're a 22 year old trans woman. i want to trust you but i don't know if i can. i'm sorry.

Rest assured I’m not 27 years old lol. What you’re referring to is a less than graceful ~art piece~ we did (”Playing a Boy” or something) on deviantART when we were 16/17 (?) and really ill-informed. I ask you to not take that as how I stand currently – as I have learned so much more since, and I have a penis and I was designated male at birth because of it (feel free to purchase a passcode to our nsfw blog to see for yourself). At the time we were developing breast tissue but still had to appear as a ‘boy.’ Don’t bind with Ace bandages, kids, it can damage your rib cage, something we didn’t know at the time.

(source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of two prescriptions, estradiol and spironolactone, both prescribed to Adele Sheffield.]

grandtran still gonna think I photoshopped it or what

(source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: In other words, you aren't gonna cough up the pics because you know you can't fake that shit because you're actually cis. Cool. BTW why do you keep changing your story about the blog, and if the blog was run by you when you were in denial about being trans because of self hate, why were the pics tagged mtf and you were constantly saying trans people were cool?

Yeah I’m not gonna do something for y’all and get nothing in return except more doubt from you, you see how one sided that kind of request is? Also its technically considered sexual harassment, just because its on the internet, you’re a coward (whats your username btw?), and you think I’m cis and you want me to prove time and time again to you that I’m dmab doesn’t justify sexually soliciting someone when they’re not comfortable in being solicited – for free no less.

At first I genuinely had no memory of that blog, it was only active for all of 2 months and for some reason I moved onto a new email and new tumblr, and I haven’t the foggiest why. As for the whole “me claiming to not be ~mtf~” I don’t have any memories from that time, I can only assume it was a lot of dysphoria fueled self-hatred and wanting to be seen/pass as a cis girl lesbian.

If you’re really gonna solicit nudes from a trans woman (a second time) as they do sex work to try and stay on their feet without offering anything in return just so your transmisogynistic ass can get off to trying to tell me my dick is fake isn’t classy at all. I perish the thought of what you’re parents would think of this behavior from you. But yeah, feel free to send some money to my paypal so I can get the gender markers on my records changed because that’s gonna cost a lot apparently, and I’ll definitely send you the dick pics you want. :)

(source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of a a hospital bracelet on Kat's wrist. The patient's name is Adele Sheffield and her sex is labeled as "M".]

(source)

Kat Lied About Having Diabetes To Get Money From Tumblr Users

Verdict: False

This doesn't need much commentary from me, just view the screenshots below.

Transcript:

To the people who keep harping on me buying a $15 video game for my mental health 7 MONTHS ago “with my donation money,” well, here you go, some proof, links and screenshots provided

So for everyone spreading misinformation about me spending $15 on a video game for my mental health, here’s a full list of reasons why there is no way, shape, or form I spent my paypal money on it:

Yes, I spent $15 of my own money after selling one of my possessions, not denying it:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she shows off a copy of Fall Out: New Vegas, marked with a price of $14.99. The date of the post is marked as July 21, 2014 at 06:28.39 PM.]

Be sure to look at the date, July 21st, 2014 6:28 PM. Now lets look at my first donation post asking for help:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she asks for donations to be able to afford insulin because she has no insurance. The date of the post is marked as July 20, 2014 at 08:14.00 PM.]

Hmm, one day before the purchase of said game, July 20th 2014 at 8:14 PM. Now, I’ve never heard of a video game store — much less a non-chain video game store accepting payment for video games in the form of virtual Amazon gift cards, have you? Oh, but you’re gonna say, “well you bought the game with your paypal donations anyway!” Well, here’s exhibit C:

[Another screenshot of a separate post made by Kat where she is also asking for donations to be able to afford insulin. The date of the post is marked as July 23, 2014 at 12:27.46 PM.]

Again, looking at the date of this posting which is the original donations post, you can see it was posted on July 23rd, 2014 at 12:27 PM, a full 2 days after I had bought the game. Now, if there’s no way for me to use Amazon gift cards for a real life video game store, then how can I go back in time a minimum of 2 full days to give past me $15 to buy said game, hm? This isn’t even accounting for the fact that I didn’t even have my own bank account associated with it until over a week later, and it surely doesn’t account for the fact that it takes up to 5 days to transfer from paypal to your bank account. All the dates are linked to the original unedited posts so you can see for yourself, and for added measure my first deposit was on August 14th, 2014:

[A screenshot of a deposit made by Kat. The date is marked as 08/14/14.]

Oh but yeah, anti-sjs, truscum, and the like took damniwishidthoughtofabettername’s postthey used to gaslight us with misinformation and you all bought it. Tell me how I could misuse donations that I could not use outside of Amazon and money I didn’t even start receiving until a full two days later, let alone the fact that there’s no way I could have transferred said money and used it two days prior as of the date of the paypal donations post.

I hope some of y’all could reblog this and get the word out, I’m sick and tired of people buying into that misinformation that person did solely to gaslight me as a means to try and disrupt my donations drive.

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A selfie of Kat holding up a vial of Novolin to the camera.]

Hey anon, I don’t feel comfy giving you my receipts (because doxxing is a thing) but here you go, a selfie with my most recent insulin purchase. 👽

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: Getting desperate for money again I see. How is your fake diabetes lately. I bet your blood sugar is like 800 this time and you're still able to be alive somehow.

You got me, I’m ~totally faking~

[A selfie of Kat. In the background several items used by diabetics are seen such as insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.]

[A picture that gives us a closer look at the background of the previous selfie.]

[A selfie of Kat holding up two vials, one of Lantus and the other of Humalog.]

Gee, must be one dedicated faker, right? To have hundreds of dollars of insulin equipment and insulin itself. Hmmm… Insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.. oh and insulin, hmmmm….

Oh and because you didn’t learn from last time you don’t die instantly when your blood sugar goes over 600 lol, something anyone who studies endocrinology can tell you, and I would know, being a diabetic, having to be hospitalized numerous times for ketoacidosis where the blood sugar has been too high for too long. Things you clearly do not know and you’re just jumping on the disableist bandwagon. I have an idea of who you are anyway, just doing this for future reference.

(source)

[spiritualdirections]

Can Pope Francis create a paradigm shift?

“Among the clergy, Francis receives his greatest support from older priests, who are dying off, rather than younger ones who are the future of the church... Finding young candidates for the priesthood, meanwhile, who support Francis and want to be celibate is like looking for Catholic unicorns.”

Fr. Thomas Reese, SJ, makes this blunt assessment in his column for Religious News Service. It’s a pretty good line. The main point of the article is that the Pope has waited too long to start the #LeftCatholicRevolution, to start suppressing and marginalizing conservative and traditionalist members of the hierarchy, and the Pope’s recent stint in the hospital has Fr. Reese worried that the Revolution won’t come at all before he dies. 

Now I am not on Reese’s team, nor am I rooting for it. But I think that his article misses exactly how the Revolution he wants could ever take place. The problem with Francis’ papacy has been that it has been too much about episcopal appointments and legislation changes and rules and exercises of authority on the one hand, and broad PR gestures on the other. What we don’t see, however, are ideas and arguments. While his previous two predecessors were very much about ideas and arguments, at a high level.

There’s a media narrative that Pope Francis just wants to recreate the Church of the 1970s, from when his generation in the Jesuits came of age and liberals ran the Church (into the ground, some would say), and all the stuffiness of the Church from before Vatican II gave way to a less doctrinal, more cheerful spirit, complete with welcoming banners in the sanctuary. Less worrying about truth, more compassion, openness, and love--especially for the poor.

I think that’s how many Catholic Boomers remember the 1970s. But in reality, the power behind all those felt banners wasn’t the greeters at the door who smiled intensely in a welcoming way. The power behind the movements in the Church that Fr. Reese liked came from a bunch of theologians who argued for a different way of being Catholic, with new ideas and a lot of scholarship behind those ideas. The reason why the more committed younger people in the Church today no longer hold to those ideas is...because of better ideas that came later to replace those 1970s ideas. 

Thomas Kuhn explains that a paradigm shift happens when a conceptual framework (what he calls a paradigm) starts to have problems explaining reality. People come up with questions and puzzles that the predominant ways of thinking cannot handle, and these unsolved puzzles pile up. Then a new theory comes along which 1) can offer an explanation of everything that the old framework could explain, and 2) can answer the new puzzles that the old framework couldn’t, and 3) proposes new directions for studying reality that turn out to be promising. When that happens, people adopt the new paradigm, and stop thinking in the old. 

Post-Vatican II theologians such as Hans Kung and Edward Schillebeeckx and Leonardo Boff helped to create a paradigm shift in theology, one which asked new questions and proposed radical answers, and which on various fronts took over the Church. Spirituality became more Freudian, more therapeutic and sentimental (in accord with the spirit of 1970s culture), and less interested in disciplining the passions. The universal call to holiness was interpreted to mean that everyone pretty much goes to heaven, especially the laity, and so the theological concept of holiness needed to be redefined until it wasn’t just for a small group of elite saints. In the new paradigm, traditional practices such as missionary work, going to confession, and embracing celibacy, just stopped making sense (if we’re all going to heaven anyway...). This was the new paradigm that became ascendant in the Church, and thoroughly dominant in the Jesuits, at the time Pope Francis came of age.

It turned out that the paradigm was a disaster for the Church by every traditional metric. The faithful and the priests influenced by it largely stopped coming to Mass or left the priesthood. But the intellectual paradigm built by the theologians was still predominant, still being passed on in pontifical universities and seminaries and Catholic graduate schools, well into the 1990s. 

It was replaced by a new paradigm, a creative traditionalism in which the leading lights were also in a position to make institutional changes. But the paradugn shift wasn’t simply because John Paul II was pope and he appointed Josef Ratzinger to head the doctrinal office; rather, their successor paradigm answered the puzzles of the previous paradigm. Laborem Exercens and Sollicitudo Rei Socialis were answers to the questions raised by Boff’s liberation theology. The Theology of the Body was an answer to the arguments of theologians who embraced the sexual revolution. On issues of priestly celibacy, or how to interpret the bible, or sacramental theology and praxis, or the role of reason in the faith, or whether to continue missionary work, or the vocation to religious life, or the nature of confession--and much more--St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI made arguments that took the issues raised by the 1970s theologians and brought them to a new level. They made arguments that paid attention to the traditions of the Church, and deployed them in new and creative ways to solve new problems or to approach old problems with new tools. And they created a paradigm that seemed to work, that seemed to set the Church on the path to recovery and perhaps even strength. Under the new paradigm, the Church was attracting large numbers of converts, including Protestant pastors and theologians. It was intellectually and spiritually convincing. It helped to make sense of the world. 

In order to change the Church from the Wojtylan paradigm, it’s not enough to appoint some 1970s retreads to high ecclesiastical office who impose their old paradigm by fiat. Because, as Fr. Reese points out, old people die sooner, and their power dissipates soon after they die. But neither is the answer to appoint lots of retreads, as he seems to want. If people are convinced by the Wojtylan paradigm--especially if all the priests and younger bishops are convinced by it--they won’t stop being convinced by it because of a motu proprio. The goal of the #LeftCatholicRevolution should be to provoke a paradigm shift, to come up with even better arguments than those of the two previous popes, to convince people to think in their new way because the new way solves the puzzles, and makes sense of reality, in ways that the Wojtylan paradigm does not. Because right now, the Wojtylan paradigm still seems to work, especially for those who embrace it thoroughly. And the 1970s paradigm still has no convincing answers to the problems that caused it to collapse in the first place.

I think there’s no better evidence of the superiority of the Wojtylan paradigm than Fr. Reese’s observation that today’s version of his preferred 1970s paradigm is no better than the original at convincing young men to offer their lives to Christ in the priesthood. You can’t say that clericalism is the largest problem in the Church, and then believably invite people to be clerics. John Paul II called young people to be heroes; #LeftCatholicRevolution calls them to be part of the problem. That’s not just a flaw in the messaging, it’s a flaw in the thinking. A flaw in the paradigm. 

I don’t want to predict that when Pope Francis does die, his successor will automatically be John Paul III. But I do believe that #LeftCatholicRevolution can only be achieved if it gets a lot smarter, if it develops a more convincing account of reality than the Wojtylan paradigm, so as to create a paradigm shift. If not, then Fr. Reese will have to wait for a cavalry of unicorns to take over the Church.

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Six

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand.

Warnings: mature content, cursing

Let me know if you want to be tagged:)

Enjoy! 

SIX

We pulled up outside the family house--an enormous, Colonial-style building, complete with six bedrooms, too many bathrooms to count, an enormous kitchen, and several living areas. My father had purchased it as soon as his business had started flourishing again in the middle of last year. I’d never understood why he’d bought such a large home for himself alone. I figured it was something about overtly displaying just how much wealth he’d regained to everyone in our home town. I didn’t concern myself with it too much; I’d never actually lived in the house anyway.

Nesta had for a few months before she’d moved down to Prythian to live near me and Elain. I’m pretty sure she’d lived on the opposite side of the house from my father to avoid running into him as much as possible until she’d saved enough money from her flight attendant job to get a place of her own. . . Out of the three of us, Nesta got along with my dad the least. 

Rhys charmed Elain instantly, asking her questions about her baking, her gardening, her nursing classes. He skillfully avoided all talk of significant others, for which I was grateful, and by the end of the car ride Elain was half in love with him.

Elain hopped out of the car as soon as she pulled onto the enormous bricked driveway. I remained inside with Rhys for a moment. I twisted around in the backseat to look at him. 

“Here is my final warning and disclaimer to you. I love Nesta, don’t get me wrong. But she will be a bitch to you. I don’t know how my father will act around. . .” I trailed off.

“Never brought a boy home, Feyre darling? I’ll try to pretend I’m not immensely flattered at the idea.”

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. “Of course I’ve brought boys home. You’re not that special.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Archeron. Let’s go meet your family.” 

If I was being honest, his eagerness scared me a little.  I took a deep breath and followed him up the front walk, bags in tow. Elain burst into the house and I timidly followed her through the enormous entry way, painted a pleasant cream above the dark wood flooring. Past the staircase and to the right, we found my father and Nesta in the kitchen talking. 

More like arguing, They weren’t yelling, though, which was progress for those two.

“I don’t like you working as a flight attendant, Nesta. You got an engineering degree for a reason, you know.” 

“I don’t care. Working on planes is much more fun. I get to see new places during long layovers or overnight stays. So butt. Out. Dad.”

Elain cleared her throat. Realizing they now had company, they both shut up rather quickly. I was grateful. I wanted to spare Rhys from the family theatrics for as long as possible. Even if things had been better between all four of us for the past year or so. 

“Feyre!” My dad exclaimed, unusually perky. It was probably for Rhys’s benefit.  He moved to hug me and I acquiesced, glancing at Nesta out of the corner of my eye. She shrugged.

“And you must be Rhysand. I have to say, I was quite surprised when Feyre told me she was bringing a boy home for Thanksgiving dinner who wasn’t Tamlin.” My cheeks were absolutely flaming at this point. I decided to stare at my shoes. 

Also, how could he mention Tamlin? He didn’t know a thing about our relationship except that we were broken up and I never wanted to speak of it again. Oblivious to all the embarrassment he was currently causing me, my father extended his hand to Rhys.

Rhys gripped it tightly, his crutch wedged underneath his arm.  I was pleased to see that his grip was firm. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Yes.” My father had suddenly become quite solemn.  “And what are you majoring in, Rhysand?” 

Oh dear.

“International Relations, sir.” 

“And what do you plan to do with that?”

And God bless him, Rhys didn’t miss a beat. “My father is an Operations Manager for a large global company. I plan to follow in his footsteps to manage a large company, particularly--”

I decided that that was enough. “Okay, Dad! I’m going to give Rhys a house tour. What time’s dinner?”

My father gave Rhys a look as though their conversation wasn’t over as I grabbed his arm and hustled him out of the kitchen.  

I forced Rhys up the stairs. “Oh my god. What right does he have to give my friends the first-degree as soon as he meets them? He didn’t try to parent me in high school, so why start now? It’s not like you’re my--”

“Boyfriend?” He smirked. “It was fine, Feyre. I know what I plan to do with my degree.”

“You shouldn’t have to answer to him.”

“Relax,” he said as he followed me up the second flight of stairs. “By the end of this week, your father will love me.”

He met me at the top of the stairs, seeing as I’d stormed up them and he’d had to carefully ease his way up with his boot and crutches. Barely a hand’s breadth between us, he stood with his back to the stairs as I stared up at him. 

“Why waste your time trying to make such a good impression?” I couldn’t take my eyes away from his face. I realized suddenly just how much taller than me he was.

“Consider it a long term investment.”

“Why invest in that?”

He edged around me and set off down one of the hallways. “Show me the house, Feyre darling. Isn’t that what we came up here to do?”

I could think of other things. The thought coalesced inside my mind, unbidden. I was the only one who lived on the third floor of this house. Those things I was thinking of doing . . . wouldn’t be difficult to accomplish here.

Nope. No, no, no. Not an option. 

But as I followed Rhys down the corridor, I couldn’t help. . . wondering what it would be like. Kissing him, touching him, calling him mine. . . 

“Archeron! You coming? I don’t actually know where I’m going.”

I puffed out my cheeks. Shit.

We worked our way through all the bedrooms and living rooms on the second floor and finally made it to the staircase that led to my room, alone on the third floor. It was quite a spacious room, actually, with an amazing attached bathroom. What I didn’t realize was how Rhys would get up the extremely narrow staircase. Technically, the third floor had been something like the servants’ quarters a hundred years ago, now remodeled and modernized. But the fact remained that the staircase was much too narrow for Rhys to get up with his crutches. 

“You don’t have to see my room. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about it,” I said, glancing down at his foot.

He set his crutches against the wall. “I’m seeing your room, Feyre,” he said confidently.

I raised my eyebrows. “Well, okay then. Do you want to go first?”

“I can walk perfectly fine, Feyre. Chill.” 

“Boys,” I muttered under my breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just get your ass up the stairs.”

“Bossy. I like a woman in charge.”

“Get your ass up the stairs, Rhysand!” 

He chuckled. And began his slow ascent. It wasn’t that he was weak, it was that his boot was big and clunky and he wasn’t technically supposed to put his weight on it very often, according to Madja. On the narrow staircase, maneuvering the boot would be difficult. But he made his way up, giving me an extremely convenient view of his ass through his jeans as he climbed. I followed him until we reached the top and then squeezed past him on the tiny landing.

“Prepare to be amazed. My father ensured I had the room of my dreams even though I’ve never truly lived here. Parental guilt for not really providing for me all through high school.” 

Rhys stood, arms crossed, waiting. 

I sighed. This felt strangely intimate. I’d never had a boy in my room before. I mean sure, Tamlin had visited my dorm a few times but because he was older we had almost always ended up at his place at night. And my room wasn’t really “lived in” seeing as I’d never lived in the house. But it was mine, and I’d gotten to choose all the decorations, all the pictures… everything. 

“Okay.” I turned the door handle and stepped briskly into my room, eager to get this over with. 

Rhys hobbled inside, his gaze floating over the white-covered, four poster bed pushed against the far wall, two large windows on either side. His gaze floated over the dark wood floors, covered by a gray rug under my bed and a pale blue one under the sitting area, complete with a fireplace, couch, and two arm plush grey armchairs. It floated over my bookshelf, filled with all the books I didn’t have room for in my townhouse back at school. And landed on the grey walls, covered with paintings.

Every one of them painted by me. 

There were landscapes, and abstracts, and a few canvases covered only with my favorite book or movie quotes.  

He stepped into the center of the room and halted, turning in place, staring at the paintings. “Did you paint all of these?”

I leaned against my door. “Yeah…” 

He kept looking. 

“That bad, huh?” 

He tore his gaze from the walls of my bedroom. “What? No. The exact opposite. This is--these are-- These are amazing, Feyre. I had no idea you were a painter.”

“I’ve sort of run out of time for it in college. Haven’t painted since. . .” I hadn’t really painted since Tamlin and I had gotten together. “Since the beginning of my freshman year. I miss it,” I said, and suddenly felt the urge to march downstairs and into the garage to retrieve all my old paint buckets, brushes, and the canvases that I knew were waiting for me. 

“Wow. I’d pay money for one of these. You have an incredible talent, Feyre.”  His eyes alighted on the painting hung above my fireplace. “Is that your mother?”

I nodded, smiling a little. “I painted it based off of a picture of her my dad has. She died before I really picked up the hobby. But that’s her.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I nodded and decided it was safe to enter the room. My paintings were a part of my soul. And I realized that if Rhys had looked at them and insulted them, or worse, just skated over their existence, I would have been crushed. Thank goodness he hadn’t. I collapsed onto my bed. I was suddenly exhausted from the morning practice that felt like it had been days ago and the following four hour drive spent with Rhys. He limped over and sat next to me as I stared up at the ceiling. 

“This is why you were so nervous to bring me up here?” He asked softly.

I nodded. 

“Anyone would be crazy not to be impressed by your art.”

“It was kind of a weird hobby to have in high school. I mostly kept it to myself. Not sure why the kids at my school thought painting in your spare time was weird.”

He was silent for a moment, as though debating what to say. Then-- “Well I, personally, find painting in your spare time to be hot.” 

I sat up, my face coming within inches of his. If I moved forward just a bit, my lips would meet his. 

“Incredibly hot,” he went on. 

It was almost as if my body was leaning forward of its own accord.

“In fact, it might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “Now you’re just making things up.”

He smiled and I might have melted a little bit.

“Maybe.” I could feel his breath on my cheek. Minty. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect? 

I leaned closer. Consequences be damned. We were inches apart, so close my eyelids had fluttered closed, when--

“Feyre! Dinner!”

“Shit,” he whispered.

I swallowed. “We should go.”

He nodded. “Mmhm.”

I led him back across the landing and down the stairs. I’d reached the bottom step when he swore (again) and---

“Shit!” 

I almost felt him trip before he stumbled forward, and I whirled around, gripping his shoulders in an effort to steady him at the bottom of the stairs. His hands reached out and grabbed my waist as he regained his balance. 

“You good?” I asked, breathing more heavily than I should have been. Heat flared up and down my body from where his hands had set themselves around my middle. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

He still hadn’t let go. I didn’t want him to. 

“Dinner. We have to go eat dinner. Your father probably thinks I’m doing unspeakable things to you right now, Feyre darling.”

Heat flooded my cheeks again. “Right.” And shaking my head, I released his shoulders and as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, I chided myself for my weakness, for the desire to kiss him that had been growing steadily all day, all week. 

------

Later that night, after a tense dinner with my father, I came downstairs after my shower to find Rhysand and my dad shouting at the television together. Prythian University’s men’s basketball team was on the screen, playing some school I’d never really heard of. Rhys and my father were berating the referees as I took a seat on the couch next to Rhys--a healthy two feet away from him.

Just to be sure.

“I didn’t realize either of you were so invested in college basketball…”

Rhys tore his eyes away from the screen to gape at me, openmouthed. “You go to Prythian and you don’t care about our basketball team? They were in the top four in the country last year.”

I shrugged. “I’m just not that into it.”

“I can’t believe I’m friends with you.” He placed a special emphasis on the word “friends.” I prayed my father didn’t notice his change of tone.

“Hey!”

My dad chimed in. “Can’t say I blame him, Feyre. Neglecting to educate you in team sports has been the biggest regret of my life.”

“Oh, please. You’re both making me feel like public enemy number one in my own house.” 

Rhys poked me in the side and I hissed, then settled back on the couch for the next hour as the pair of new-best-friends shouted and raged and cheered at the screen until, in double-overtime, Prythian won out. 

“Thank God that’s over,” I mumbled, although I was secretly happy Prythian had come out on top in the end.

“I’m dragging you to a basketball game when we get back to campus. Athletes get free tickets. You know that right?”

“Of course I know that.” Nevermind that I’d never used that particular advantage.

My dad stood up. “Well, kids, I’m headed to bed. Feyre, Rhys knows where his room is, right?” He gave me a look. Then bestowed another, different look, on Rhys.

“Yes, Dad. Good night.” I narrowed my eyes and he (thankfully) departed quickly. 

That left Rhys and me, alone in the dark living room. Nesta and Elain had gone off to bed hours ago.  An awkward silence ensued. 

“Well,” I stood. “I guess I should get to bed.”

Rhys followed suit. “Yep,” he said lamely. 

As he crutched after me toward the staircase, I spoke up, just to break the silence between us that hadn’t been there moments before. “I can’t believe how fast you charmed my father.”

He chuckled. “I hate to be so predictable, but I am a man and I do love televised sports.”

I sighed. “I’m not judging.”

We made it to the top of the stairs and I walked him to his room. He paused in the doorway. “I really am grateful though, despite your rather unfortunate lack of interest in sports. Grateful you invited me here.”

“What are teammates for?” I said, remembering what he’d asked me on that night a month ago. 

He smiled a little, as though remembering that night too. “Good night, Feyre.”

“Good night, Rhys.”

It was difficult to refrain from inviting him up to my room to… just to have him near me. But I made myself turn away from him and climb the narrow staircase to my solitary bedroom at the top of the house. 

I’d just crawled into bed when a text came through on my phone. I lunged for the nightstand, knocking my phone to the floor in the process. Relieved that no one had been around to witness such a display of grace and decorum, recognizing how obviously desperate I was for Rhys to text me, I reached down, scooped up my phone, and pulled up my messages.

Tamlin Spring: I heard you took Rhys home with you for Thanksgiving

All the air left my body. 

Tamlin Spring: You never took me home to meet your family. I didn’t realize you were such a slut. Did a year with me mean nothing to you?

Tamlin Spring: I would take you back--if you got on your knees in front of me and begged 

Tamlin Spring: You were only ever good on your knees, anyway

Now it felt as though all the blood had left my body too. 

I threw my phone against the room. I sat up in my bed, face in my hands. I should just ignore his messages and leave it alone. He had no right to comment on what I was doing. Who had even told him I’d invited Rhys home with me for Thanksgiving, anyway? Besides, it was just friends helping friends. Rhys being here didn’t mean anything. It certainly didn’t make me a slut.

But as my phone buzzed again, and then again, as I tried to shut my eyes and shut out what he’d said. . . I couldn’t stop rereading his texts inside my head. Was I just a slut? A traitor for having these feelings for Rhys so soon after ending things with Tamlin?

He would still take me back? Like that was going to happen. But. . . I remembered what he’d said when he’d kidnapped me and forced me to drink…. Something about just giving me space, as though he didn’t think we were actually broken up...

But if he was telling me I was a slut over a text… He’d probably spread that rumor to the rest of the team by now. Along with a story about how I was a cheater too. After I’d worked so hard to stay out of the drama and sexual intrigue so abundant on my swim team. Against my will, tears leaked from between my fingers.

My phone buzzed for a third time and I dragged myself out of bed to retrieve it. I was determined to silence it and cry myself to sleep, but instead of another text from Tamlin, three from Rhys popped up.

Rhys: What was that bang? 

Rhys: I’m in the room underneath yours, I think

Rhys: FEYRE ARE YOU ALIVE

As I read them, another popped up.

Rhys: Don’t make me come up there

I started typing my response, telling him I was fine and to go to bed when a soft knock sounded at my door. I padded over to it and pulled it open.

“How did you get up here so fast?” I whispered.

“Texted as I walked. Obviously.”

“Well you didn’t need to waste the trip. I threw my phone at the ground.”

“Your phone is enormous. The bang caused the elaborate chandelier over my bed to swing ominously. I feared for my life.” He was teasing me. But then the smile melted from his face as he noticed what I was wearing. 

A large grey t-shirt that came to rest mid-thigh. And nothing else. I didn’t even have it in me to blush, I was so intent on not letting him see the tears left on my face. He looked down only for a moment, though, before his gaze settled firmly above my neckline. 

“Thanks for checking on me, Rhys.” I turned to go.

Slut. The word echoed through my mind. I was sure to return to the team to find myself at the center of all the gossip. What would Cassian and Mor think? Would they believe the rumors? We hadn’t been friends for long. I’d barely interacted with Amren and Azriel at this point. They’d surely believe the rumors. 

Rhys caught my arm, taking a few steps farther into my room. “Feyre. What’s wrong? Why did you throw your phone at the floor?”

I had no idea why I gave up so easily, but I brandished my phone at him. He took it from me and I stared at the wall beside his head as he found the texts from Tamlin and read them. 

“What. An. Asshole,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It’s fine.”

He gave my phone back to me. “No, no it’s not. He needs to leave you the fuck alone. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.”

Now I really did turn away. “I don’t need the encouragement, Rhys. He’s right, yeah? I’m just a slut. Moving on way too quickly.”

He raced around to stand in front of me. “No. You are not a slut. Your relationship is over. You ended it the right way. And for good reason, too.  Nothing he just texted you has an ounce of truth to it. You should block him and forget about it.”

I didn’t say anything, just kept my eyes glued to the ground. I didn’t trust myself to look at him. I’d probably try to act on my “slutty tendencies” if I looked into his violet eyes. 

Two fingers hooked under my chin and pulled my face up to his. “Feyre. I promise you. You’re doing nothing wrong.” 

I couldn’t stop the fresh tears that escaped me. How had a few text messages from an asshole managed to upset me so much? Or maybe I was crying in relief that Rhys was so vehemently disagreeing with what Tamlin had sent. Either way, the tears kept coming as he looked at me. And then, slowly--so very slowly--he removed his fingers from my chin and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me toward him. 

I stood there for a moment as he held me, arms hanging uselessly at my sides. And then I hugged him back, my arms coming up and over his shoulders to wrap around his neck. I slid one hand into his soft black hair. “Thanks for coming for me,” I whispered. “And I don’t just mean tonight.” 

He huffed out a breath. “Anytime.” 

I didn’t let go for a long, long time. Until I realized…

“Where the hell is your boot?”

He pulled back, his hands still resting lightly on my waist. “Uh…”

“Rhysand Night!” I whacked his arm. “You walked up here without your boot! Don’t you want to heal?!” 

He put his hands on his hips. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t putting a whole lot of weight on his injured foot. “I heard a large thump and came up here prepared to defend you from a murderer or something, and this is how you thank me?”

I pushed him backward, forcing him to take a seat on my bed. “I can kill my own murderers, thank you very much. Now sit. I’m going to get your boot right now.”

But he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me roughly toward him so I stood between his legs. My hands came to rest on his shoulders to steady myself. “I’m trying to make sure you can train sooner rather than later, you know,” I managed to say, but the thrill at being so close to him like this was overriding nearly every other thought in my mind.

“I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” 

And then he kissed me. 

I was stunned for only a moment before my hands moved from his shoulders to thread through his silky black hair. His lips pressed against mine, so soft. His kiss was firm, neither too gentle nor too rough, and mere seconds passed before his tongue traced my lips and I opened my mouth, letting him in. 

His tongue swept in and he inched back on the bed, keeping his mouth firmly planted against mine, pulling me onto the bed after him. His size hit me again, then. I was so small compared to him. He removed his lips from mine and he eased me onto my back. Turning, he leaned over me and his mouth claimed mine again, this time slightly more eager, as his right hand moved from my hair, down my side, coming to rest at my waist. I kept one hand firmly entangled in his hair while the other ran down his chest. He was so damn muscular. 

I’d always been a sucker for swimmer’s bodies. 

He pulled away for a moment. “So…”

I let out an irritated squeak of protest, but he slipped a hand beneath my shirt and flattened it against my stomach. I shut up. 

“Earlier you said something about moving on too quickly.” His hand slid up a little bit.

“Hmm, I don’t recall…” I breathed, in a very futile attempt to hide how desperate I was for him to keep touching me, kissing me. More, more, more, I wanted.

His hand inched up, his thumb now caressing the skin just beneath my breasts. I was definitely not wearing a bra.

“What did you mean by that, Feyre darling?”

I tried desperately to suck down a breath as his hand slid up. . . 

“Aren’t you smart enough to figure that out yourself, Rhysand?”

“Rhysand? You cruel, beautiful thing.” 

His hand flattened against my breast and I lost all control as I pulled him down to kiss him again. 

He smiled against my lips, and the joy that flooded through my body as a result of his happiness was almost better than how good it felt to feel his hands on my body, his lips on mine, his weight against me. Almost… 

We stayed like that for quite a while, kissing, not going much farther, before he crawled under the covers, tucked me against him, and we fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAGS:))

@sleeping-and-books​  @musicalfae​

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello, it is me again, the girl that can not figure out if she is an ESTJ, INFP, ENFP or ISTJ. Yes, coming to think of it, it was probably lazy of me to just say “Hey, here are these characters you have previously typed that behave and think just like me, so what is my type?” instead of actually explaining why do I identify with these functions. But I have to say you really made a point by referring to the lack of substantial, concrete information given to you by me and my habit of identifying with a lot of these characters as Fi traits, which is something I had not noticed before. Anyway, here it goes:

Si/Ne: I have always had a very unhealthy obsession with my past. I still have lots of things and toys from my childhood and, like what you pointed when you typed Blair, I am always watching the same movies that bring me a sense of comfort whenever I feel out of place. It is something paradoxal, but, even though sometimes I feel like longing for a big change in my life, I always feel very distressed when out of my routine. Whenever I am about to do something I have been wanting to do for a long time, like starting college and moving somewhere I have always dreamed of living, I get very anxious and hesitant for a moment, feeling a sudden urge to give up on everything and just stay where I feel comfortable, if the change is for good (usually, it is) and something, ironically, I have been vocal about wanting to do for a very, very long time. To illustrate it better, it reminds me of Rapunzel getting out of her tower: something she had spent her whole life desperately wanting to do, but she is suddenly afraid when the time comes for her to actually do it. About Ne, well, I consider myself a very excitable person with a lot of ideas all of the time. My best friend said days ago that my habit of easily taking life-changing decisions in a matter of seconds concerns her a lot. I have, from month to month, random, very specific obsessions, and I can get very passionate about the subject, but it just ends abruptly when, one day, I wake up no more interested in that and then, there I am, starting a new fascination.

Fi/Te: Like I said, even though the other two functions are great aspects of my personality, these ones are the most recognizable in my behavior. Bossing people around, not even thinking about harsh things I may be about to say, demanding from the others all the time and being, overall, very direct about what I want are things that come naturally to me. I am extremely pracical in my work and have clashed with other people because of this very method of just doing it instead of learning, learning, practising and pracitising before actually trying. Speaking of learning, I hate to do it in a subjective way when it comes to my work field. However, I am also extremely sentimental, to the point of not knowing if it is a sign of low or unhealthy Fi in action. I said I identify with Hermione Granger, for example, because outright insulting people and proceeding to go cry in the bathroom after hearing they say they don’t like me is totally something I can see myself doing. Nevertheless, ever since I was a child I have been living in my own world. I have my own pre-set expectations towards life that, according to some (well, actually, all the people I know) are ridiculously high and, for me, it is all a matter of all or nothing. Another personality trait, which I attribute to Fi, is being able to always have a clear, objective opinion over anything and anyone. I always know what I want and what I don’t want, what I like and what I don’t like, who I think is worth my time and who is not, and people are always commenting on that, because it can make me sound very blunt most of the time. Marianne Dashwood reminds me a lot of myself in that aspect (and so does your amazing typing of her), as much as Sarah from Labyrinth does. Mary Lennox would be more like the type of Fi-dom that comes across as very Te-ish, another reason for my identification with her.

Regarding my enneagram, yes, that is me, you got it totally right in your description of the 468 type, which makes me think even more that, contrary to what I used to think, I am actually a 4w3 and not a 3w4, even though the 3 wing is strong in me, making my behaviour seem very 3-ish (which, according to Beatrice Chestnut, is also due to the Sexual Four subtype), as “faking being more of a hard-ass than she is” basically describes my behavior. All of that makes me wonder: is it possible for someone to switch enneagram type and wing over the time? I could swear I am a 4w3 right now, in this very moment, and have been prior in my life, but I can also swear I used to be a 3w4 from high school until a year ago. It feels like I have neglected the 4 aspect of my personality for a long time, instead putting all of my effort into my social persona during high school and, in college, my schoolwork and internship. I wanted to have this “mean girl” image in high school, so I just did. It felt boring when it felt I had made it, so, when I went to college, I wanted to be the best academic and most ambitious professional in my work field. I came to the point of considering myself a workaholic and have had a very unhealthy mindset during all of that time, but since last year, I just said a big “fuck it” and started to develop my 4 side, to the point of coming go believe I had been much more of a 4 all along, desperately trying to sustain an image that, once I managed to finally feel I had, did not satisfy me at all. Could it be, instead, my 3 disintegrating into 9?

Thanks for everything.

Generally when someone has a large push-pull / over-reliance and confidence in two functions working well together, it’s in the middle of their stack. What you describe sounds like inferior Si – you have reduced Si down to “sentiment,” which is more an NP thing than an SJ thing. With an SJ, Si is what they live every day and breathe: the factual details of the outer world, being present and active in it, learning and growing at a steady rate as they absorb and file away new information, often becoming experts in a chosen field of personal interest. Not wanting to let go of childhood, clinging to the past, dreaming and then becoming anxious about abandoning “what you know” as soon as it’s about to become REAL is far more Ne/Si than Si/Ne. NPs tend to live in fantasies, chase after dreams, and then freak out sometimes when they realize it means… abandoning every single familiar, sensory thing they have ever known or experienced. They throw themselves, either mentally or physically, headlong into things only to realize they bit off more than they can chew and retreat, abandon the project, or chase after something new and exciting.

Your “just do it, let’s not learn it or practice it” it is a very NP way of doing – just throw yourself into it and figure it out as you go (Ne/Te). SJs are more practical, detailed, and hands on in the learning process, and usually want a clear agenda before they start important things.

Enneagram wise… I don’t know. Nothing you said about 4 shows me that you understand on a deep “UGH… why am I like this???” dumpster fire of being a 4. If you tried on identities in high school only to discard them, and focused on high levels of achievement instead of allowing crippling self-doubt, having to wait to be “in the right mood” to finish things, overreacting to perceived slights, and adopting an anti-society stance of “NOTHING IS ME IN THIS ROOM” etc., that’s malleable behaviors – so 3, 6, or 9. Over-working and then relaxing as you get older could be 6′s line to 3 and to 9 respectively. (Why are you not a counter-phobic core 6? Faking being a bad-ass is pure 6. 4s don’t fake anything except their entire identity, in the form of militant constant “That’s not me” adherence. They are pathologically afraid that they might be normal, ergo their problems are solvable and therefore their ego fears of separation are... fake. And you don’t have to convince me – you have to face yourself.)

You seem more focused on the sx4 description than on Nanjarano’s entire description in which he bluntly and brutally lays out the self-destructive nature of the 4 and outlines all their problems in-depth. Read it again. If it’s “not you” it won’t feel torturous. If it is you, you just might burst into tears, or get furious, because of how true it is. (One 468 I know who read his 4 said she wanted to punch him in the %$^# face – a total overreaction… just like a 468 would have to having to confront all the crap they do, but don’t want to admit to doing.)

Enneagram isn’t there to make us feel good about ourselves. It’s there to show us the box we climb into and lock ourselves into it by closing the lid. It’s there to show us our brand of dumpster fire and give us the keys to freedom by forcing us to look the hideous truth of ourselves in the face and then choose not to fall into auto-pilot. Until you feel like you’ve been punched in the face repeatedly by an Enneagram description, you either are in denial about your type (as one of the more positive types who “whitewashes over all the bad stuff about me” like 9, 7, or 3) or you’re focusing on the wrong one subconsciously to avoid the EWW NO OH MY GOD WHY of the real one.

One 9w8 I know said she loathes the 9 descriptions because of what “doormats they make 9s out to be.” She refused to consider herself a 9 for several weeks until she caught herself merging with other people – and then she felt a wash of disgust and shame at having found her true type. She has told me a few times that her 8 wing despises her 9 core. It’s true we often prefer to focus on and think about our wing than our core, because the wing is far less painful. It’s like squinting at your reflection instead of having your eyeballs bleed. ;)

- ENFP Mod

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

hi, hoping you can help bc I trust ur opinion. I'm trying to type my bf, is it at all a good idea to try to figure it out by contrasting him against my type? I'm a ?NTP, he tends to be more ridgid in his thinking (especially morally) than me, I can have trouble taking sides or passing judgement bc I see more than one side, I can be wishy washy. he's the complete opposite, he's morally ridgid and feels very strongly about what's good and bad. that's why he strikes me as an Fi user bc he's talked about having internal "expectations" for himself that are usually just ethical rules and he is very ridgid about it and gets very upset with himself when he doesn't think he's lived up to those values(the way he beats himself up doesn't usually make sense to me, he doesn't rationalize why he thinks he didn't meet his standards very well imo. he will give a reason but to me it's like just bad logic? like it just doesn't follow and I don't see why he thinks it makes sense. i'm just one person though so maybe he is making sense, but to me it seems like he expects himself to be a god, he acts like he has more control over a situation than he does, he thinks of different ways he couldve acted and beats himself up for every detail not going perfectly according to his morals. he is an activist and has sort of centered his personality around those morals. could this be low fi, or just slightly unhealthy high Fi? or regular Fi? assuming it is, for Se vs. Ne, I have no clue. his space is always VERY messy(He has adhd though)but he is much more observant of our physical environment than me, most of what he loves revolves around a sensory experience. he has an EXCELLENT memory for detail, almost superhuman. hes an art student and he loves cooking and has talked about how the sensory experience of making and eating food is basically his favorite thing.(if this isn't relevant, my bad) at the same time though, I feel like the "randomness"(ik that's not the best word to use here I can't think of a better one) of my Ne mixes pretty well with how he thinks. Is any of this info illuminating or is it too specific? srry this is so long

Answering this piece by piece but in general the problem here is lack of specificity, not being too specific, at least for the first part.

So, when it comes to doing the typing yourself, comparing someone to yourself or to other people you’ve typed is to an extent probably how most people type; we all need references. If you’re asking me to type him, then my answer is probably not, because I don’t know you or if you’re really an xNTP, so it would be better for you to describe him. For example, I don’t know what your morals are so him having more rigid morals than you could mean anything from him being immensely morally rigid to him being pretty lax, and you’re just even more lax.

Anyway: it would be helpful to have examples of this logic or his personal expectations, because again, you’re speculating on whether it’s you not getting him or if he really doesn’t make sense, and unless I have what he’s saying I know neither you nor your boyfriend so I have no idea.

Centering one’s identity on morals or personal beliefs is more often Fi though it shows up in some high Fe users, and it really depends on what’s going on; especially in an activist this truly can be anything from terribly unhealthy to extremely healthy, since those beliefs are understandably a huge part of his life and his work.

The second part about his memory and focus on sensory experiences helps a lot and was far more relevant! I’m not sure if he’s an Si user or Se user, and both high Si users and high Se users can often work well with high Ne users (I find that Ni and Ne are most likely to clash in high positions, actually; Se can find common ground with a focus on opportunities and improvisation, and Si users are on the same axis, but because intuition is such an internal thing - there’s no objectivity to grasp onto - NJs and NPs often just confuse each other. There are messy SJs; I could go either way, but definitely a sensor.

Depending on the morality part - what it is, how exactly it manifests - he could be an STJ, SFJ, or SFP.

[dc41896]

Cotton Candy Carousel

Hi guys!! So the fair is currently going on in my hometown and I got inspired to write a little quick imagine, so I hope you guys like it:)!

Pairing: Lewis Tan x Black Reader

Warnings: None (nothing but fluff!)

Word Count: 1,558

“Pop the balloon, get a prize! Give it your wife or girlfriend and maybe she’ll share her fries!,” yelled the older man as he stood beside the carnival game, waving his hand back and forth holding a few darts. The annual state fair had finally come to town and knowing how much you loved it, Lewis thought it would be a nice date for you two. Plus with him leaving soon to shoot his next movie, both of you were actively searching for fun things you could do together.

“Ha! That’s debatable,” laughed Lewis as you both walked by making you dramatically gasp. “Um I do share with you sir! When have I not offered you my food?,” you ask, looking up at him with arms crossed.

“What happened literally 10 minutes ago babe?,” he countered mocking your stance with a smirk.

“Ok that was different I asked you three times if you wanted something to eat and what did you say? ‘No I’m good, I really shouldn’t eat this stuff anyway’,” you answer, trying your best to imitate his voice, but of course failing and making him laugh. “Then you had the audacity to try to take some of my fries!”

“You didn’t have to smack my hand away though,” Lewis responds, peering down at you with puppy dog eyes as he pokes out his bottom lip.

“Uh uh nope, the sad stray routine won’t work. You know you were wrong,” you dismiss turning your back to him, feigning you were angry. The act didn’t last long though, from Lewis making you giggle as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and repeatedly pecked your cheek and down the side of your neck.

“You know what makes a great make up gift? A teddy bear won by showing exceptional skill in a game of darts!,” interrupted the older man. “C’mon love birds you know you want to.”

Seeing that you guys were still near his stand, he heard your lover’s spat, which he couldn’t help but quietly laugh at from how much it reminded him of himself and his wife when they were younger. Looking from the booth to you, Lewis takes your hand as he walks you over to the counter and retrieves his wallet from his pocket. “Alright you got me, how much?,” he asks, dimples showing from his bright smile.

“$5 for five darts,” the old man, who was called Jim according to his nametag, answered. “Babe I wasn’t really mad I was just kidding, you don’t have to try to win me anything,” you add just as money and darts are exchanged from hands.

“I know, and it sounds like you’re doubting my throwing skills ma’am,” he responds with a smirk flexing his biceps and making you roll your eyes in return.

“I’m not, I’ve seen you with throwing stars I know your aim is great. But is it better than mine though?,” you retort as you hand Jim the money to get your own set of darts. “Ohh we’ve got a competition on our hands ladies and gentleman! Alright lovebirds on your mark, get set, throw!,” Jim announces as if he were the host of a game show.

Laughing, you and your boyfriend both begin throwing darts towards the colorful balloons in front of you. At first, you started off tied with each of you easily hitting two balloons. The tie soon broke though with you missing your third and fourth throw while he made both, automatically making him the winner.

“And the winner is the young man in the white tee!,” Jim shouted as Lewis raised his arms in the air, clearly excited. “Since you got all of them, you can choose anything from this wall, and for you little lady you get to choose from this wall.”

“Can I get the small Nemo?,” you ask to which Jim immediately hands to you with a smile. “And can I get the penguin?,” Lewis requests before being handed his prize.

“Babe how are we gonna get on any rides with that giant penguin?,” you ask with a laugh. While yours could easily be put in your small black, leather backpack, the penguin would need its own seat from it being about three feet tall.

“You guys can leave it here if you want? I’ll keep it off to the side so no one can get to it, and when you guys get done just come back by,” Jim suggests pointing to a far off spot away from the other prizes. “Thank you sir, we’d really appreciate it,” Lewis answers with a smile as he hands over the plush toy.

“No problem, you guys have fun!,” he responds, waving as you guys leave to explore what else the fair had to offer.

Hand in hand, you passed by more vendors who tried to get you guys to play games, or buy what they were selling, and fans who asked for an autograph or picture with Lewis to which he happily said yes. You also rode some rides, including Pharaoh’s Fury, which you screamed on for a good portion of the ride. Seating what had to be about 50 people in what looked like a boat with Pharaoh heads at each end, the ride would swing back and forth until it became high enough that it would do a full turn.

Being the thrill seeker he was, Lewis begged you to ride it with him and somehow convinced you it wasn’t as bad as it looked. You definitely did not agree, and was glad to have both feet back on the ground when it was all over.

You also went through the Fun House, a personal favorite of yours, where Lewis somehow managed to bump his head twice making you clutch your side in laughter. “I could be concussed and you’re laughing at me,” he joked with his hand on his head as he chuckled with you.

“And I could’ve gotten whiplash from the Pharaoh ride, so I guess we’re even now,” you countered reaching on your tip toes to kiss the sensitive spot on his head.

The final ride of the night was of course the Ferris wheel so you guys could see the night sky and the lights of the city buildings. There was a momentary silence as you gazed out to the people below, reminding you ants scattered about, as well as the lights from all the other rides and booths. You thought Lewis was doing the same, but your phone buzzing would show you otherwise.

Clicking on the notification from Instagram, you are directed to a picture of the side of your face with you looking content and glowing from the surrounding lights of the side of the Ferris wheel.

lewistanofficial: When she’s looking out and admiring the beauty around her, but you’re more focused on the beauty herself @(your IG name). Really gonna miss these moments (even when you smack me for stealing your fries lol) when I leave to shoot

Looking up from your screen, you meet Lewis’ soft brown eyes and dimpled smile as you slide to get closer to him. “You’re such a big softie you know that?,” you ask pushing a bit of his hair back at the top of his head.

Shrugging, he lets out a small chuckle before closing the remaining space between you to kiss your lips, sending what felt like electric butterflies through every inch of your body all at once.

Seeing that it was close time for the fair to close, you guys made your way back towards the parking lot hand in hand. You made sure to get the penguin, whom you both decided to name Dino and would act as your shared son, before you left and thanked Jim again for holding him.

Passing through the gate you both were approached by a woman around your age with a young girl following close beside her, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry to bother you, but have you seen a brown teddy bear? My daughter and I were literally about to leave, but she realized she lost her bear and refuses to go without it.”

“No I’m sorry we didn’t, but here,” you answer as you remove your backpack to take out the small Nemo toy you won. “I know it’s not your teddy, but you can have Nemo if you want?”

Slowly removing the plush fish from your hand, the little girl smiles softly before hugging it to her chest. “Thank you,” she squeaks grabbing her mom’s hand. “Mommy if we can’t find Skuffles it’s okay.”

“Okay, we’re still gonna check the lost and found though to see if he might be there,” she responds before looking up at you two. “Thank you so much, that was really kind of you.”

“You’re welcome, I hope you find Skuffles,” you respond with a smile before exchanging goodbyes. Finally in the car and ready to leave, you feel eyes on you as you turn to see Lewis smiling at you in awe.

“What?,” you giggle fidgeting with your seatbelt. “Nothing you big softie, just that you’re amazing you know that?,” he answers brushing your cheek with his thumb.

“Eh I’ve been told,” you shrug, softly laughing along with the love of your life before pulling out of the parking lot and heading back home.

Taglist: @honeychicana @melinda-january @themyscxiras @lady-olive-oil @fumbling-fanfics @crushed-pink-petals @lovelymari4 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @nina-sj @itshinothey @wildfirecracker

If anybody else wants to be added to the taglist, only wants to be tagged for certain people I write about, or have asked to be tagged and don’t see your name, don’t hesitate to let me know! :)

[battlestar-royco]

So apparently the ACO/TAR special edition and the T/oG mini books come out on the same day? Even if you don't count the releases of so many anticipated books, how do they expect them to all sell well? A large part of S/JM's fandom are teenagers, so it's not like they'll have enough money.

Bro I have no idea? I guess they’re banking on Mess’s stans to buy a bunch? Maybe it’s a consolation prize for them not getting any new Mess content in the past year. Even if it wasn’t Mess’s books coming out in a slightly different format, the entire thing would still feel like a waste of money and paper to me. Once I buy one copy of a book, I generally cannot be fucked to buy another unless I absolutely would die for them. I still haven’t bought a hard copy of THG because I got them on ebook for like $8 each in 2009. I haven’t even replaced my HP copies, even though they’re all threadbare and some of them are like… half-of-my-life old. Anyway. Yeah I have no idea what sort of sales are projected for the special editions and mini books because I’ve seen some minis in the store for books like TFIOS and they all seem unnecessary. I don’t get it. At least the special editions will have new cover art, but the minis are literally just the book in smaller form???? With the characters’ names written in different colors? I don’t see that being a lucrative purchase for anyone except a die-hard Mess fan. According to SJ/M’s post, the minis are limited edition, so I’m guessing they’re not printing that many so they don’t lose a bunch of money.

[yukahoo]

Thoughts on the time travel / parallel universe aspect of the Bangtan Universe

I have been kinda unwilling to get into theorising about if or how Seokjin is perhaps traveling in time, etc. in the BU. And it still stands I am mainly interested in Jimin's storyline as I feel it often gets kinda shoved aside (or as of late misunderstood) in fandom talk. But with those little excerpts of HYYH notes being tweeted out by the Smeraldo Books account, the conversation is picking up again. I think the overall assumption is that the upcoming comeback will once again be tied to the BU/HYYH storyline, perhaps once and for all to bring it to an end with the long-awaited fifth and final instalment of the Reflection of Youth series.

Maybe. Who knows really.

Still, it was enough for me to dig up my own notes and consider what I think we can know about the SJ situation thus far. I was inspired enough to want to type it out and if it's something that someone else will enjoy reading, all the better. Keep in mind this is not a working theory, it's just a collection of observations. Also, due to the amount of material to cover as well as the different translations going around, it's very much possible I have misunderstood something. If you notice mistakes please do let me know, 'kay?

First of all I need to make clear I don't have an opinion about if we are talking about time travel or parallel universes here. On twitter I have seen some pretty interesting math based explanations or conceptualisations of how time could loop back and simultaneously be both a past and a deviation of it as well. Not my expertise and I don't have anything to contribute on the subject. I just wanted to bring it up in case my language in trying to describe the deviations that can be seen in the storyline is all over the place. It is because I myself are unclear how I should be thinking about it. I don't know if it's time travel or a parallel universe. Or something else or nothing at all.

Either way, as I see it, based on the material that has been released thus far, the splinter point where the boys' storyline starts going on parallel tracks (either two or even multiple) is April 11 year 22. SJ dreams of something that has not happened yet, something he knows the date of already: TH will jump off the observatory platform on the 22th of May. Between those two dates I can see multiple instances where the boys seemingly live through different versions realities.  Some of it is more explicit than others but I will list them all chronologically.

The first one is vague, not really canon but I thought to mention it anyway. On that same day the 11th, Jungkook contemplates about jumping off a construction site. Ultimately Yoongi calling him on his phone jolts him out of his thoughts. The only reason why I think there is a potential parallel version to this is that we saw in the Euphoria SF making-of video that the crew filmed a scene where JK does jump off. Whether or not there is a dimension where YG doesn't call and JK jumps, remains to be seen.

SJ isn't the only one who dreams about the future. On April 28th Taehyung tells Namjoon about his dreams of things to come, one being YG dying in a fire. This is perhaps to date the strongest example of alternative versions of events taking place with corroborating material to be found in both film and text.

In one of the versions, the one TH dreamed, YG dies in a fire. We already saw how it happens based on the INU MV. In JK's note of May 2nd he describes a fever dream about saving YG but ultimately it's just a dream. In yet another telling of events, one somehow tampered with by SJ, JK seemingly does save the man. YG describes how he can can see and hear JK in the burning room before he loses consciousness.

SJ looks pleased with his handiwork. In a freshly released note of his own, dated the same day, SJ ponders whether he'll be able to fix errors and save the others.

The next examples have to do with Jimin, Hoseok and tangentially TH too. Jimin's storyline has been my focus all along so I should feel the most confident talking about it. Yet I grapple with the details still. I have been pretty adamant that there is no reason to believe JM is hallucinating his friends in the hospital. At the same time I do feel like something is amiss with the whole thing. Ever since the Answer album notes were released I have been privately wondering whether they have just gone and changed HS's storyline at some point during the LY era since the pieces didn't really fit well together anymore. But now I have started to consider that perhaps the pieces don't fit because they're from different parallels.

In the early BU material it is implied that HS suffers from narcolepsy. He is seen collapsing in the INU MV as well as sleeping in the Prologue SF. Later in the MAMA SF his diagnosis is widened to include Munchausen syndrome. In the notes HS says he takes pills he doesn't need and collapses everywhere.

All of this I think is implied to be the result of his childhood trauma of being abandoned by his mother. In fact the earliest note in the series describes HS collapsing at school over the memory. When the Euphoria SF was released there was a lot of discussion about the scene at the hospital where JM is seen holding HS back. I always took it to show JM saving HS from falling. Quite a few others tied it back to those early examples of narcolepsy.

This was more or less confirmed with the release of the Euphoria SF making-of video. JM quite clearly says he saves HS from falling due to him falling sleep. Yet, later on in the HYYH notes dated 12th May, we are suddenly presented a version where HS is falling due to simply running and slipping on the stairs.

These two parallel events paint a picture of quite different realities. In the notes version with the simple slip of footing, HS is actually unaware that JM has been staying in the hospital all these years. However in the video version they are both dressed in hospital garb, implying that HS is staying there in (long-term?) care as well. Most importantly, in the scenario where HS is a patient for his on-going psychiatric symptoms, he would be in no shape to help Jimin escape, like he seemingly does according to the notes.

This explanation of parallel storylines would somewhat explain why JM goes back and forth being alone and being with his friends at the hospital. Maybe. "Reality" is hard to define in this part of the storyline.

HS's possible long-term care in the hospital could also affect TH's situation. If HS was staying in the hospital, he wouldn't be available to collect TH from the police on the 20th, nor to escort him back home. In the notes it is in no way explicitly stated that HS's presence stopped TH from killing his father but we do know that in the version of reality where he did, HS was not present.

Next we have the event that SJ already dreamed of happening over a month ago; TH jumping off the observatory platform. As we all know, there is also an alternative version where SJ is the one to climb up and apparently jump instead. TH looks up at him with an expression "filled with doubts," says JM in the making-of video.

By now it is abundantly clear that this is a significant point in the storyline and in no way a coincidence. SJ "knows" TH will jump. We the audience "know" that he has already jumped. Yet SJ takes his place and seems content with his decision.

The end of the story as we know it seems to be August 30th in the year 22. The timeline of events is very vague still, having to do with Smeraldo flowers, the diary, a car accident, a wish to change things and a realisation that it's impossible. I can't be sure right now but it seems to me like there are two different ending points, one where the girl dies and the other where she doesn't and SJ just returns her the diary.

How it ties back to the other boys remains to be seen.

I'll give an honourable mention to poor NJ. I have already talked about how I struggle to pin his storyline down and this occasion is no different. Looking at my notes no alternative versions of reality really stand out for him. It's obvious that seeing SJ at the gas station the same day as he had his dream about the future is an important turning point even if we don't really know why yet. There is a version where SJ does not appear to pick up the bills tossed to the ground.

Maybe it’s a parallel timeline or maybe it's nothing. Impossible to say.

Last thing to mention. Many of the events covered are introduced as flashbacks in the beginning of the Euphoria SF, before SJ gets out of bed, places flower petals on the floor and changes things (for the first time?). Might mean something.