#well I checked them when I wake up cause it's almost 1:30 and I'm so sleepy...

[nathank77]

5/27/24

6:45 p.m Significantly Added to 7 p.m/ Edited Added to a little and Edited 7:15 p.m

I slept like a baby. I fell asleep around 8 a.m. I was worried I was going to have to take another 25MG Hydroxyzine and take my first 25MG of Benadryl. Cause I wasn't asleep by 8 a.m, I kept my eyes closed for like 17 minutes, used the bathroom and then passed out shortly after. I woke up a few times. At around 1 p.m I took a 25MG Benadryl and went back to sleep. I kinda slept until 5:15 p.m or so it's gross but whatever.

I had a bunch of dreams but a couple of them really stood out to me. I had a trauma dream- I was laying there, "black heading" and I took a hydroxyzine 25MG on top of my other one and a Benadryl 25mg. I actually thought it really happened until I checked my sleep tracker. I remember in the nightmare, I thought maybe I slept for 10 minutes but I kept laying there with my eyes closed accomplishing nothing and then I ended up taking drugs.

If it wasn't for my sleep tracker I actually would have believed I did it. This is how traumatized I am and exactly why I have a sleep tracker. I really thought I did sleep and took another 25mg Hydroxyzine and 25mg of Benadryl. Thankfully that was a nightmare and thankfully I have a sleep tracker. I just wish I would stop having the trauma dreams of microsleep.

I had another dream where my Methimazole was not working and I went hyper I believe. I was freaking out about it. I was on a campus like bully the video game and I was walking with a girl and there was a patch of unknown weeds and flowers and normally I'd walk around it. The girl did. But I wanted to work on my ocd and I walked through it and my thumb got pricked by a weird reddish/green shiny tall weed. I remember looking at my thumb, and seeing the thorn, it was kinda sticking out where I chopped off a small piece of my thumb when I was a teenager bc I was carrying an open razor blade in my pocket to cut myself and I stuck my hand in my pocket and a huge small piece of my thumb came off.. I can still see the scar... it's almost gone though.. anyways the thorn was sticking out of that and it turned bright-ish green... i was freaking out thinking that my ocd protects me and this is why I should have avoided the patch of weeds and then i woke up.

Symbolism- well the dream about the Methimazole was obv I want to go into remission. To be clear that dream was the same dream as the green thumb one. It was a long one. I think the green thumb dream was Symbolic of me wanting to work on my ocd but I do also think it protects me... beyond that- the fact it stuck out of my chopped off piece of thumb scar where the thorn was. And only the scar turned bright green. It prob was Symbolic of how I want to kill myself bc of my mental illnesses.

I don't really remember my other dreams but I wish I did they were significant today and I had a lot of them.

Anyways tonight I'm taking a 1MG of xanax, 2MG of Melatonin and 25MG of Hydroxyzine around 3:30 a.m. I want to fall asleep around 5:30 or 6 a.m and wake up earlier so I can have time before my oil change and potential car wash depending on the weather this upcoming week.

I need a whole car wash but I want the outside clean to last. Although my interior really needs to be clean. So I may not do it tomorrow cause It's raining Thursday. Maybe I'll wait a little but I have a feeling no matter what my car is going to get rained on a few days after the car wash. I don't really need to take a 1MG of xanax this week for anything but- I figured I should do it once a week to keep my circadian rhythm closer to 6-7:30 a.m. And before the oil change makes the most sense cause I'm going to Southington and Maybe I can go grocery shopping before and make phone calls. I prob will do the car wash cause I go to a place in New Britain that hand washes it...

Anyways I'm probably going to watch Dexter all day. I don't really want to game and hallucinate. And yesterday I did a lot despite most of it being a waste of time. I want to get my gym membership ASAP. I'm still trying to wait until the 1st... I'm going to go major grocery shopping Saturday cause it's the 1st...

I'm still hallucinating go figure and my dating sites experience is still trash but I switched some of my photos with the new ones I took last night cause I'm looking good and I don't want to body catfish.

We will see if I am hyper soon enough. I used these photos:

I used the Nike long sleeve shirt on all of them. The other Nike shirt on some. The Adidas on some and the dress shirt with the sleeve down on all and the rolled up on a couple. I have two fb dating profiles, one okcupid and one tinder. I put the jacket one on all of them. I varietized it... I also have these two pictures still up. Oldies but goodies:

Also I got to get water this week I'm freaking out about it bc I saw the guy there a week ago. I still have a case and a half so if he is there Wednesday I'll wait until Saturday.. I guess..

BTW I still believe there could be something there with my potential soulmate. I randomly thought, "I'm outsourcing for a reason and making it obvious." If she's a single mom and I can't provide financially she would need to make more money but then again it's every therapists dream to have their own private practice and maybe I just want to believe. I thought a few days ago around when I talked about how I wish I did icbt with her, "I still have the syllabus." That was weird. I also thought a while ago, "sometimes I worry your ocd will make the relationship not work." Something like that. And I don't blame her if it was her cause I mean she knows how bad it is... but yea I can't be delusional. And although i still love her and I only want her I can't wait forever for her to talk to me. I'm going to message her on her birthday. I suppose for now I got to assume she's happy with her husband. She's got her lips on his face on her Facebook. So I feel stupid even thinking there is a possibility she loves me. I just want her to be happy and I'm looking for a partner.

She's not an egg in my basket cause if she was she would be the only one... and I can't be stupid about it. I don't think she sees me as a client but she's waiting a long fucking time to talk to me even if it is just friendship..

Beyond that, I'm waiting for the Kristen status update it's driving me crazy. I want to know if they are taking my case already, the confirmation doesn't tell you. It's just that they received your documents.. they tell you reasons they might send your report elsewhere on it...

This week I got realistically nothing to do but the oil change/car wash and grocery shopping/therapy. I'm going to have a red bull day Friday. Go major grocery shopping Saturday and then have another red bull day Sunday. The following week I got my T-shot and I got to get my xanax. My schedule has really cleared off...

If I don't do the car wash I might sign up for the gym this week... I'm excited to start working on my body more. I have never dieted and went to the gym. I expect amazing results in a few months, look at my shoulders in the photo below yea I'm flexing but i haven't worked out.. also I put my shirtless photo on a few dating sites but not all cause then I'm out as trans. It could help me weed out assholes. I didnt put it on okcupid but still.

I'm sucking in a bit but I'm going to look amazing. I'm in love with my exterior appearance. Low key cocky. But not really. I'm still a nerd. Despite my self love and confidence I can't find a gf lol but whatever.

Tomorrow I'm going to wear a tank top and my fox shorts. I'm excited. Might as well dress nice to go out.

Once I get into 34s, I'm going to go up to the attic and try to find my old 32 waist line pants. I had a lot of them. I never threw them out. My dream is to be in a 32 waist size pants. And mediums or smalls shirts... I'm really excited.

I figured I kept my fat clothes. And my thin clothes were so expensive they are worth holding on to incase since I've thinned out to 150 twice in my life time. Most of my thin clothes are in my closet.. the pants though are absolutely up in the attic. I will need to replace most of my polo's and buttons ups bc of my shoulders. I'll need some more t shirt but not as many as I thought... def need pants/shorts depending on where I plateau.

I hope I'm not hyper. But even if I am- I'll still lose weight when I go to the gym and I figure out where I plateau and then work with it. Once when I was 145 I wasn't hyper..... and I wasn't going to the gym. Idk what my true weight is but I will figure it out soon. College threw that shit off. I always lost weight over the summer and gained living on campus. Go figure.

The second time I was 145 I had Graves disease but I was working out. I know I wasn't hyper when I was 145 the first time cause I had to do bloodwork every 3 months for my endo for a few years at least before he changed it to every 6 months... so I truly was 145 at 2 years on testosterone and my thyroid was normal. Then I went to college and went up to like 175 or something. Maybe 160.

My hoodies make me look fat cause they are oversized but they are comfy.

My Ray-Bans are still working but I'm going to watch TV all day and see if my eyes strain hopefully they work better than the Arons.

[mod2amaryllis]

I'm sure you've received this question a hundred times but do you have some tips for training a deaf puppy? Thank you and sorry to bother you

OK YEAH SO definitely don’t consider training to be an area of expertise but Goose turned out decent so here are some things:

first thing: make sure you’re prioritizing just like, approaching it as A Puppy, and puppies are hard as a baseline. find a class to join for basics if your dog does well in a class setting (my area had a free puppy class option that worked great for Goose, look into it, but I DO think this is something worth spending money on if you have to). then my most recommended puppy literature is: Social, Civil, and Savvy: Training & Socializing Puppies to Become the Best Possible Dogs. it’s almost impossible for me to pay attention to nonfiction books and a lot of dog training books are really crunchy technical, but this book is super short, lots of pictures, big text, straightforward. I had an easy time absorbing it and the stuff works. awesome awesome training guide. also a good podcast is Drinking From the Toilet, which has had specific puppy and deaf training eps

AND BLANKET STATEMENT: socializing is just in general the most important thing for a puppy. like exposing them to new things. expose them to all types of people, all types of animals, all types of situations, all types of floors rooms buildings grass discomforts yadda yadda yadda this is JUST as important for a deaf puppy. blanket ass statement.

NOW FOR SOME DEAF DOG SPECIFIC STUFF

general stuff before I share personal observations: resources I turned to the most were probably Deaf Dogs Rock (awesome equipment recs, so many anecdotes from owners w/ specific advice) and Keller’s Cause (neat little training videos)

ok now personal experience

in the context of training it was helpful for me to think of deafness more as just another attribute as opposed to a disability. like how being a mini aussie makes her creepy-smart, being deaf makes her: not hear (obviously), highly observant, potentially more confident in situations that might intimidate hearing dogs, easily startled, dependent on passive training as opposed to command training. basically it’s not a hurdle. it forces you to be creative and work within her attributes. just like with literally any other dog.

obviously you will use signing. I don’t use ASL, I come up with whatever is intuitive for Goose and me. early training feels like you need 3 hands cuz you’re giving treats, you’re signaling “good job,” you’re signing commands, you’re maybe holding a leash, it’s a lot. so my signs had to be with 1 hand, they had to be intuitive, they had to be distinct from one another to avoid confusion. a few examples: SIT is a closed fist (I feel like most people already do this with their dogs); TOUCH is two fingers offered; LAY DOWN is those two fingers being lowered to the floor; SPEAK is a hand being opened rapidly. I have more but you get the picture. I actually have a notebook where I’d doodle commands as I went cuz I was literally just flying by the seat of my pants lmao

passive training has been clutch. this is kennel training, car training, leash training, basically establishing her life routine (idk if it’s actually called passive training??? i’m sure it all falls under “”””socializing”””” but that’s such a huge umbrella). these areas can be difficult to settle into but they really are essential. I don’t have car advice cuz my dogs drive w/ me to work every day and are fine so IDK WHOOPS but:

leash training: with goose being deaf it was weird because the trainer I worked with was heavily reliant on voice commands. so I put a LOT of time into the loose-leash game, which is walking on a leash in the house, and every few steps, you give the dog a treat AT YOUR SIDE. like hold your hand right by your leg. basically the idea is to teach your dog it’s cool and fun to stay by your side and check in with you every now and then. Goose still pulls on her leash but in a manageable way, and she knows to check back with me. also definitely rec a halter. this one’s my favorite.

kennel/sleep training (gonna spend a lot of time on this one cuz it was/is the worst thing about Goose): listen. this one will be hard. this one’s gonna suck. you will be SO tempted to just let them in your bed but you really, REALLY should not. letting them in the bed can foster separation anxiety especially with a deaf dog who’s probably gonna become your shadow. kennels instill confidence by giving a dog their own space, and if ever there’s an emergency when they need to go in the kennel, it’ll help them feel safe. like there’s so many reasons to kennel train. you gotta do it.

so...as a baby, Goose like almost killed me with sleep deprivation. we initially didn’t think we’d keep her (haha hubris) so she slept out of the bedroom. And Screamed. the ultimate solution was bringing her kennel in the bedroom next to Joanie’s kennel, and we’re pretty sure the reason that solved it is because she could wake up and SEE that there was another dog there. now she loves her kennel. shoots in there every night demanding her pb kong. BUT YEAH LISTEN if you DON’T HAVE some comforting visual/kinetic reassurance there, this could be a problem for a deaf puppy. AND. AND. the problem hasn’t gone away completely. Goose wakes us up at 5:30 am every single morning and probably will for the rest of her life because THAT is her routine and she is immune to our angry tired yelling. the simple act of us going to her kennel reinforces the behavior. we’re not jerks about it cuz we love her and understand how dog brains work. This Could Happen To You. Heads Up.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS: big sister dog like Joanie, worked for us; a floor fan creating vibrations, seemed to help her as a very young kiddo; being at least IN VIEW of you sleeping, like having the kennel riiiiight next to the bed, even within arm’s reach so you can reassure the puppy you’re still there. just...both in personal experience and in my research, I saw it a lot that sleeping is a big issue. cuz they can’t hear you, it’s dark, they don’t know if you’re still there, and committing to STILL attempting kennel training is the harder thing to do, but I really, really encourage you to try.

WOW. ok. fuck off I typed way more than I meant to. wanna hear some funny stuff?

Goose follows us around everywhere. she simply must know what’s goin on. we have beds stationed at every visual corner of the house, like sentry posts, so whatever room we’re in there’s a comfy place for her to sit where she can see us and she takes advantage of it. like she could be sleeping in one room and I’ll get up to brush my teeth, suddenly look down and she’s just teleported already asleep in the nearest bed to me.

sometimes Goose knocks on the door to come inside, and I’ll go to the door to let her in, and at literally the nanosecond before I open the door she dog-shrugs and turns and trots away and there’s nothing I can do. can’t call out to her. I’m bamboozled.

she is so fucking loud. I remember when she was a baby and my sis in law was like “wow so I bet she’s quieter than normal dogs huh” and I laughed like no actually she sounds like a rubber chicken going for that 4 chair turn on the voice, at ALL times.

sometimes I’ll do the speak command and she’ll do this huge windup, like big breath, eyes wide, and then release what is essentially a very little hiccup. but i still have to give her the treat. she doesn’t know the difference, not really.

always delighted to be woken up by you, wiggles her feet and starts licking her lips and looking up at you like “!!!! hello!!! omg!!! wow!!! a delight!!!”

doesn’t know the cats don’t like her. will trot up to Frisk and give what is in her mind a very polite little kiss on her nose before trotting away, oblivious to the offended growl she’s just elicited.

MUST BE PET. HOW ELSE WILL SHE KNOW SHE IS LOVED. MUST BE PET AT ALL TIMES NOW EVERYWHERE PLEASE.

...

realizing i could write a book about how much i love this deaf fucker

[kenmasgameboy]

PIPSQUEAK

a kuroo x gangmember!reader

summary;

" you like to cause a bit of trouble, pipsqueak?"

" pipsqueak? seriously?"

Life for you got turned upside down after your first year at Nekoma high. Realizing it was too dangerous, your parents sent you back to live in Miyagi and attend Karasuno with your old friends. Kuroo Tetsuro, the Police Chiefs son, comes into contact with you in the most unexpected way possible, bringing trouble wherever you both go.

—————————-

Prologue.

      High school was never that interesting to you. Though, you'll admit that it was a good way to help the days pass. You always found different games to help.

At first, games to you meant sneaking out of the house, slashing tires, almost getting arrested, going to parties. You had a bad reputation. You had been mixed up with all the wrong people before at your old school. But now you were going to turn your life around. Even if that means that now games to you would mean studying. Kind of.

         The closest you'd probably get to your new life would be getting in trouble for minor things at school. For example, falling asleep in class was a specialty of yours. Truly, an art form. Waking up to that sweet slap of a ruler against your desk was better than any alarm clock you'd ever hear. The rush in your chest, the heat to your cheeks, the sweaty palms. Incredible. But that is it. You promised your mother that this year you would be making her proud at Karasuno. You wouldn't be hanging out with those "thugs" as she liked to call them. You would keep up, maybe pay attention, and maybe make some more real friends.

       The truth was that school never felt like a real challenge to you. Sure there were plenty of difficult subjects that made you feel stupid but you always kept out of the drama, minded your business, and kept your head down. It was fine. There really was a target on your back now that you were the new girl at school though, and you had adjusted week by week meeting new people and reuniting with some old ones, too. But ultimately you decided the social system just wasn't made for you. There wasn't really a good place for you to fit in, or maybe it just wasn't comparing to the kind of family you made before.

      Today was one of those days where your motivation was at its peak, you were taking good notes. Studied for a quiz, been overly diligent. Then that sweet beautiful sound of the lunch bell rang, you pulled out your food, grabbed your skateboard, and left the classroom in a bit of a hurry. As you were leaving you started to hear a conversation:

      Dude, don't worry, I have it completely handled. Watch...

      "(Y/N)!" Narita, your classmate called for you once you exited the room and into the hallway. He stood next to Ennoshita who looked like he would explode any second. You knew Narita, him and Ennoshita were in Class 4 with you and you really didn't have that many real friends at school but you wouldn't mind calling them that. They were some of the friends you were reunited with from middle school, they were a big comfort to you when you transferred in.

      "Hey, how's it going?" You slowly walked over, trying to find your excuse to leave and take a nap without seeming impolite.

      "Great, good. Thanks, yourself?" Narita answered for him and Ennoshita. He also seemed in a hurry for some reason but was much worse at covering it up.

      "Pretty tired, but uh, for the most part—" You started but your sentence didn't last long.

      "You should come to my party! Uh— Our party. We're having a party it would probably wake you up. It's in Tokyo! I mean—" Narita came in strong.

       "Nice, buddy. You really do got this handled." Was all Ennoshita followed it up with, "Gotta go, see you guys in class."

       "A party?" You laughed a little, just because these guys were anything but the partying type. You started walking and Narita was following you like a hawk, "Don't you guys have volleyball practice or something?"

        "Yeah, of course. But not this Friday night! I mean technically we do but we'll be done at 6:30. Party can start at 7:30." Narita followed up, "All the volleyball guys will be there, too. We have a summer training camp in Tokyo starting on Monday so this is kind of the only day we can get everyone together. We already had our friends from Nekoma invite pretty much everyone they knew."

       "N-Nekoma, huh?" Your smile wavered, "That sounds like it'll be really fun for you guys. Thanks for the invite, but I don't really know anyone on your team. Plus, I can't get to Tokyo by 7:30." You said, declining as well as you could without making your answer too suspicious.

       "Well, yeah about that. Um, by 'it's in Tokyo' what I meant to say was Tokyo guys will be there. They're volleyball players, too, actually." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his satchel, trying his best to act cool and lean against the vending machine you were using.

       "So, it's a Volleyball mixer with you guys and a bunch of guys from Tokyo but it's not in Tokyo? Where is it, then?" You asked for the elaboration, kind of liking this dancing way to get to the point.

        "Yes, well and other schools in Miyagi, too. It's a lot of schools, I mean I'm talking Nekoma, Fukorodani, Aoba Johsai, Johzenji, Date Tech, Shiratorizawa.. maybe.. Inarizaki.. and more.. again maybe. But it's at Kinoshita's house. Which is still kinda far, but it has a pool! His family is loaded and they'll all be gone this weekend." Narita finally got to the point.

        "Sounds like it'll be a good time for you guys. I'm happy for you, sounds like you've made a lot of friends from other schools." You cheers'd your milk to him and started walking again to find a place to eat.

        "No, no. Girls will be there, too. It's kinda the whole point."

        "You really have to work on your pitch." You said plainly.

        "Please, I need your help (Y/N). I was put in charge of getting girls to come to this party." Narita begged, you couldn't help but let out a laugh at his desperation. In all your years of knowing him and being in the same classes you had never seen him talk to a single girl who wasn't in a group project or something related to it.

        "Why you?"

        "It was either me or Tanaka."

        "Oh, then definitely you are the better choice." You agreed, having known just from the previous stories he's told you. "Interesting proposition. I'll think about it."

       "You'll think about it and say yes?" He tried, "Every time I talk to a pretty girl I feel like I'm going to throw up, I can't talk to groups of girls and invite them to a party. But you're likable, more well known now since you're the new girl."

       "First of all, rude that I don't make you want to throw up. I'm pretty, sometimes."

       "Fair."

        "How about, I'll say yes if you tell me who it is you have a crush on, which girl you most want at this party then I'll help out." You offered. Narita thought for a minute as you started eating your lunch.

       "Fine." He nodded, "This is my duty to my boys." Then he leaned into your ear and whispered the name of the prettiest and smartest girl in your class: Ichika Yua. Ichika was going to be a tough sell.

       "Alright. A deals a deal. You've given me a secret and I will do what I can do. How many girls do you need, anyway? Are we going for a 1:1 ratio or..?"

       "No, these guys need a much higher chance I think. Let's try a 4:1 ratio."

       "Yeah, actually you're gonna take what you can get."

       "Yes, ma'am."

        "Now give me the rundown on your team. I don't really know any of them and I need to know for my pitches I have to do this week. And don't think because I'm doing some work means that you can slack off okay. I really only know 2nd-year girls, if you want 3rd year or 1st you have to go to them. You need to try too. Also, will there be alcohol?" You listed off your demands and were straight forward. Narita made a slow nod,

        "Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know any girls from Nekoma who could come?" He asked you the dreaded question.

        Yup, you were originally supposed to spend your high school years at Nekoma High School. When you were entering high school your dad got a job offer in Tokyo, forcing you to move out there after middle school. Then after everything happened, your Mom knew it was too risky to let you live out in Tokyo still and she shipped you back here to go to Karasuno and live in a small apartment by yourself. You have family friends who come to check on you and your parents visit when they can. It's not horrible, at least now you get to come back to streets more familiar.

      "Um, I think the girls I knew from Nekoma aren't exactly the girls you want at a party. Besides, you should just ask your volleyball brethren to ask some girls and pull their weight. Or are they too pretty for you to talk to?" You teased Narita and knocked his head.

      "Hey, girls are girls." Narita held his head from where you knocked it.

      "Sure, if thats the case then the next time you see me I better be seeing some chunks."

     You and Narita continued to eat lunch together that day. Until you realized you only had a limited amount of time left and had to use the bathroom before class so you excused yourself. You skated away around the outside of the courtyard with a bun in your mouth and around some of your other classmates, waving.

        "Dude, uh. Who was that?" A guy with an aggressive appearance walked up to Narita, having walked past a few minutes before but stayed just to gawk.

        "Huh? (Y/N)?" Narita clarified, innocently.

        "(Y/N)... wow. What a beautiful name." Tanaka sighed in simp, "Is she our year?"

        "Yeah, man. She's in my class. You never noticed her before? I'm surprised she was the talk of Karasuno guys for like the whole first week of this year." He laughed. "She is technically new to Karasuno this year. But she's from Miyagi, I've known her since grade school."

        "My babe sensor has been reserved for Kiyoko only recently. Trying to be loyal." He humphed, "You guys a thing?"

       "What? No, no." Narita laughed, "No, we've just been friends for a while. She's helping me get girls to come to the party on Friday."

       Tanaka jumped up with optimism, "Yes! This is going to be the best party of our high school lives!"

       "I hope so." Narita rubbed his neck to try and tame his nerves again.

       "(Y/N).." Tanaka sighed again, "You know who's gonna go nuts when they get a look at her, right?"

       "I know."

———————————-

next

Thank you so much for reading!! Please let me know what you think and keep reading!!

[blushingbarnes]

seven types of love (2)

Series summary: There are seven different types of love, and over the course of knowing you, Bucky experiences every single one.

Warnings: elements of a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. it will get worse in upcoming chapters, so be warned

~series masterlist~

Ludus- a playful, flirtatious sort of love.

A few thoughts went through Bucky’s mind when you entered that day.

“That must be a friend.”

“Totally not her type.”

“His clothes look a little worn in, probably doesn’t make too much money.”

Then, something more important crosses his mind. Does he stay at the register? Or make Peter trade with him again? It’s pretty suspicious if he switches whenever you are almost at the front of the line right?

And there you are, with whatever his name is, next in line. Bucky takes a breath, and starts to take the next person order. Trying to subtly glance up at you and the man next to you.

The customer leaves, and there you are. You smile at Bucky.

“Hi.” You say, in the cute voice that he loves so much. “Hey Y/n. Are you trying something new today?” Bucky asks, throwing up a tight-lipped smile.

“No, actually. I’ll get what I got last time. What was it...” You say, thinking.

“Vanilla latte?” Bucky confirms, with a knowing smile.

“Yeah.” You answer, going into your purse to get the money out.

“Don’t worry honey. I got it.” The man says next to you.

And with that, there’s a pull in Bucky’s chest. His suspicions had been confirmed. He attempts not to show any emotion. And lightly takes the money from the man.

“That will be right out for you ma’am.” Bucky says.

~

“So, who’s that?” Will asks you, almost as soon as you sit down to wait for your drink.

“Oh, he’s just always here whenever I come in before work.” You say.

“Hm, kinda weird how he remembered what you ordered last huh?” Will comments, pulling out his phone.

“It’s a small shop, I’m sure he remembers a lot of people's orders.” You say defensively.

“Geez babe, no need to cause a scene okay?” Will looks up from his phone, giving you a disapproving glance.

You sigh, “I’m sorry, you’re right.” You look up as Bucky calls for your name and drink.

You walk up to the counter, “Thank you.” you smile.

~

The next morning, you wake up at around 8. You go through the morning movements, and as you walk through your kitchen to get some breakfast, you look at your coffee machine.

The machine had gathered dust on the top, since you hadn’t used it in weeks.

You grab a cup from your cabinet, and begin to make some coffee.

You take the coffee from under the machine, and add the rest of the components to it.

Getting ready for the day, you put on your everyday work clothes, a basic black pantsuit with a fun shirt underneath usually.

You put your hair in a low ponytail, and head to your front door to put on your shoes.

You got in your car, and began to drive along the Brooklyn streets.

You were a little vague with Bucky when you told him you were a social worker. You were actually much more than that.

You worked with mostly teens and young adults, you got called to schools when there was a problem, and you worked in a lot of small groups.

After you pull into the parking lot of the main building you work at, you check your calendar.

At 12:00 you had a group with some kids, in your notes you had written ‘15-19’ that age group was one of your favorites.

It was about 11:30 so you headed into your building. It wasn’t the fanciest thing, but you made it work.

You went into your office, where you had one on one meetings, and searched through your drawer for your notepad.

You found it, and headed to the group room. No one was there yet, so you got the chairs set up.

The groups were technically for anyone who wanted to come in, but you mostly had the regular kids show up, with maybe a new person every few weeks.

The kids start arriving, and you are ready sitting down with your notepad, smiling at the people who arrive.

Once it’s about 12:05, you start the group. “Alright guys!” you say, with a smile on your face. “Most people here I know, but I do see maybe a few new faces. So if you didn’t know, I'm Y/n. The way I like to start group is for you guys to say one thing you had trouble with this week, so we can get an idea for our talking points today.”

The kids start telling you their issues from the past week, but one sticks out to you.

“This week I’ve been seeing so many people in relationships at school, and it’s like, why haven’t I ever been in one? Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?” a girl, Bianca, finishes.

After everyone in the group shares, you begin talking.

“So I’m going to circle back to what Bianca said. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to be in a relationship right now. You are all either in high school or starting college. You need to be finding yourself at this time.” You say. “But if any of you are dating, we need to discuss healthy relationships.”

A boy, by the name of Alex, raises his hand. You gesture to him to talk.

“So, are you in a relationship Y/n?” He quirks an eyebrow.

The whole group starts ‘ooo-ing’ and you roll your eyes with a smile on your face.

“Not that it’s technically any of your business, but yes, I am.” You say. “Now, let’s talk about dating young. It’s easy to find your personality changing whenever you have a partner. You want to impress them, change yourself for them. It’s important that you stay true to yourself. Someone will come along that loves you for you.” You say, emphasizing the last phrase.

“What if you’re afraid that once they learn the real you, they’ll leave?” A girl, Z, asks.

“Now, are they really worth it if they don’t like the real you?” You answer with a question.

The whole group murmurs a negative answer.

You finish the group at 1:30. You check your calendar again, and you don’t seem to have anything left for the rest of the day.

You begin to drive home, maybe watch a show or something to occupy the rest of your day, you weren’t sure yet.

But then, you find yourself driving toward the familiar coffee shop you love so much.

~

Bucky is cleaning the cappuccino machine when he hears the ding of the bell.

He attempts to contain his excitement when he sees that it’s you who walked through the door.

He goes to look at Peter, who’s at the register, and finds that Peter is already walking towards him to switch places.

You walk up to the counter, just as Bucky reaches it.

“Hey Y/n, I missed you this morning, were you with your new fling?” Bucky says, teasingly, but secretly he was curious.

“Ha-ha.” you say stoically. “Will is my boyfriend, of a while now..” you trail off

So Will was his name… Bucky thinks. Even in the midst of his thought, he can still see the far away look in your eyes at the mention of your boyfriend's name.

“Well, you guys seem very cute together.” Bucky smiles, another tight lipped one.

“Yeah..” You look into Bucky’s bright blue eyes.

“So, coffee?” Bucky says, a hint of humor in his voice.

You shake your head, sort of like you’re riding yourself of thoughts.

“Right! That’s what I’m here for.” You say. “I’ll just have a hot caramel macchiato.” You smile

“Alright, i’ll have that right out for you sweetheart.” Bucky says.

You slightly quirk a brow at the name, and Bucky immediately regrets it.

Bucky has been thinking about making a move for a while. And honestly, he had nothing to lose now. You were in a relationship, and he needed some new friends.

So he picked up the cardboard cup and wrote,“Why did y/n cross the road? To get Bucky's number.” And he wrote his number beside it.

It was good that Bucky wasn’t the one who was going to hand you the drink, because he was horrible at confrontation.

So naturally, he hid in the supply room and looked through the window, as you picked up your drink, and read the message.

~

**send an ask if you’d like to be tagged**

@nsfwsebbie @scarletnerd05 @fentybucky @darlingtholland @rachel-rebellio @majesticavenger @lustfulholland @yknott81 @haikyuuea @captainamerica-is-bae

[finnwolfhard7137]

The Art of Falling in Love-Finn Wolfhard

Chapter Six is here...

Chapter Seven: I Love You

Chapter Eight Coming Soon...

Word Count 1.1k

Warnings: Pure Fluff

_____________________________________

You only awake when your phone rings. Your mother called, asking how you've been and how yesterday went. You explain to her how exhausted you and Finn are and that you both are sore from the miles you all walked. She completely understood and let you hang up so that you can rest. You almost feel bad because you love your mother to death and miss her but you are utterly exhausted. 

Finn "Your mom seems nice, babe."

"She is, she's the best."

Finn "I can't wait to meet her."

"She's going to love you." 

Finn "Oh yeah? I sure hope so. Even if she doesn't, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, cause I never want you to leave." He could tell how sincere you were and pulled you back down into his arms.

Finn "I'm not going anywhere, bubs. Come on, let's go back to sleep. When we wake up, I'll cook you food."

"Mkay." He kisses you softly and then you both drift back off to sleep moments later.

_______________________

By the time you two wake back up, it is 1:20 p.m. Finn laughs at how late you both slept in. 

Finn "I mean I'm not mad.."

"We needed it after yesterday. I'm still dreading getting out of bed."

Finn "I know, me too. But my bladder can't hold it any longer!" You laugh as he does parkour to get out of bed without hurting you. 

"Okay, ninja. Go pee." He laughs and goes into the tiny restroom. You mentally prepare yourself to get out of bed and use your legs. Once you get up, you feel the need to immediately sit back down but you don't. "Holy shit...it's bad."

Finn laughs, "Yeah...maybe we should have split the trip into both days but hey, we had fun right?"

"Oh yeah, lots of fun! It makes it all worth it." 

You walk to the minnie kitchen area and get water from the minnie 'bar'. You guzzle it down and unlock your phone. Your notifications were off the charts: 50+ emails, 30 text messages, 20 snapchats, 100+ dm's and 4 missed calls. Your head starts to pound just thinking about it. So instead of checking your snaps and dm's, you check your emails first. Most of them regarding new job offers and manager business. Some are coupons to your favorite stores that you shop at. The four missed calls were from your mother and your text messages were from your friend's back at home and Oakes, asking if you and Finn are alive. You laugh and text him back with 'yes!' Lastly, your snaps were also from your friend's, to which you only open the one's that you cared about: close friend's. When Finn comes out, he is wobbling just like you.

"The struggle is real, huh babe?"

He chuckles, "Oh yeah..but the day must go on!" He chants like an old soul. He is only eighteen but he is so intelligent that he acts so much older. You admire your boyfriend incredibly.

"What are you going to make us?"

Finn opens up the cabinet's, "How does scooby-doo sandwiches sound?!"

"Fucking amazing!" 

…

He gets out the lunchmeat, bread, toppings and condiments. The last thing that he surprises you with is an actual chef hat. 

"Oh my god, where did you get that!?"

Finn "I have my ways, how do I look?" He strikes a pose, earning a laugh from you.

"So hot, babe." He chuckles and kisses you. "I hope you know that I am capturing this moment."

Finn "Go for it, but you have to tag me!"

You laugh, "Consider it done."

Once you pull out your phone and open snapchat, he puts on a whole act for you. Speaking in a british accent, using articulate words to describe his food etc. You are a giggling mess, making Finn break character a couple of times. 

Finn finishes making the sandwiches, "Dinner is served!"

"It's early afternoon, babe."

He freezes, "Lunch is served!" You both burst out laughing.

"Thank you, Finn!"

Finn "You're welcome, baby." And you end the recording. You caption it, Scooby-Doo sandwiches with my boyfriend @finnwolfhard! 

…

The sandwich was so good that you barely savored it! Finn and you talked the whole time: talking about the week ahead, all of the possibilities in Amsterdam, going home to our families and seeing friends. You two plan on meeting each other's families after a short while of quality time. You are going to miss him while he is home in Canada and you are home in California. But you are thankful for the time you are spending with each other right now and the possibility of face timing and skyping while you two are apart.

Finn "Your phone is blowing up!"

"I know, I'm probably just going to turn it off. It's annoying."

Finn "Go ahead and check it, I have to check mine too.

It is all from your friend's, saying how happy they are for you that you have a boyfriend. Some are freaking out that you are dating Finn Wolfhard a.k.a one of the biggest young actors. You smirk at the responses and thank them for their support. Finn re-adds it to his snapchat with the caption 'Cooking my girl a gourmet lunch'. To which you gush over. It takes no time at all for his fans to freak out and congratulate him. 

Finn "My fan's already love you and they don't even know what you look like! How 'bout we change that?"

"Yeah!"

Finn "Come here-" he pulls you onto his lap and you take multiple cute-couple photos. "God you are so beautiful, Y/n."

"And you are so handsome, Finn." He leans down and kisses you. 

You post yours 

'Met this boy on set for The Goldfinch, fell head over heels for him in no time. Still can't believe you are mine, Finn. You mean so much to me babe❤@finnwolfhard'

His post

'Met my baby on the set for my new movie. I knew from the moment I met her that I wanted to make her mine, to my shock she said yes. Best week of my life so far! Hope everyone is doing well, happy weekend❤@yourinstagramname'

_______________________

After your phones were done blowing up, you two's hearts were so full from the responses on your posts that they could burst. His fans were supportive and so were yours. You feared that they would not like you but they seem to actually love you! 

Finn "My life just keeps getting better and better, ever since I met you. Before you, I thought that I was at my happiest but I was so wrong. Now that I have you, I am at my happiest Y/n. I hope you never forget how much you mean to me."

"Aw Finn! Every feeling you have for me, I have for you. If not more!"

Finn smiles, "I love you so much."

There is it, the three words you were waiting for. "I love you so much too, babe."

@moriartysringtone7137 @spidey-starky @itlittlefangirl @softiediana @saataanaas @mariskata @okokdot @gayreddie

[bobasheebaby]

125 How I Met Your Mother Prompts

More prompts this one is mega long but broken up by character. I think it’s a pretty good mix of funny and angsty. Break at 15.

Barney Stinson

1 “You know what NAME needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”

2 “A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”

3 “ It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!”

4 “Suit up!”

5 “Believe it or not, I was not always as I am today.”

6 “I realized that I'm searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”

7 “Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest boy/girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.”

8 “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.”

9 “Three days. We wait three days to call a man/woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait... True story.”

10 “There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married. 2. It’s not cheating if his/her name has two adjacent vowels. 3. And it's not cheating if he’s/she’s from a different area code.”

11 “I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk.”

12 “I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?” “I guess, because you're almost as messed up as I am.”

13 “In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”

14 “Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.”

15 “Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”

16 “God, it’s me, NAME. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of guys/girls call out your name because of me.”

17 “Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and he’s/she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!”

18 “De — wait for it — nied! Denied! We’re goin’ out tomorrow night.”

19 “Step six is called purg— wait for it. Keep waiting. Keep waiting for all of eternity only to discover that there’s no escape —atory.”

20 “I think tonight is going to be de — wait for it — lightful.”

21 “Ted, tonight is gonna be — wait for it — dary! Wait, no, that’s not it. How do I usually say it?”

22 “You watch, NAME, tonight is going to be legen— it’s the night we stole a camel! Which means it will be full of drama —dary.”

23 “I’m just gonna grab this star to put on top of the tree. It’s gonna be legend— wait for it —merry.”

24 “Haaaave you met NAME?”

25 “Challenge accepted!”

Robin Scherbatsky

26 “Oh, come on, ref! I haven't seen that much hooking go unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.“

27 “Just be yourself. Say something nice.” “Which one? I can't do both.”

28 “Before you know it, you'll be marrying a man/woman who once ate a vanilla-scented candle!” “That was on me. I shouldn't have left it in the kitchen. Though, it was lit. Man, he/she dumb.”

29 “Destined? Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny, NAME? Isn't it time to make your own destiny?“

30 “NAME was great.” “Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass.” “You mean you?” “Thank you!”

31 “Oh, we're busting apple bags? I can bust apple bags.“

32 “NAME, I am not ready for them to find out about us.” “Then you're gonna have to stay in there for the entire trilogy. Don't worry, it's only 382 minutes.” “Nerd!”

33 “You know NAME? Been thinking about it. Guess it's kind of nice you're such a bad-ass.” “It's pretty bad-ass you're so nice, NAME.”

34 “14 seconds! And already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off.”

35 “But timing is a bitch.”

36 “Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.“

37 “There's something between us. Maybe my head was saying, 'nip it in the bud', because my heart was saying something else ...”

38 “I just finished a seven-day cleanse.” “I thought you just started that yesterday.” “I finished early, okay?”

39 “NAME! I just had a great idea!” “Oh, do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up.”

40 “Okay, I've missed you. Not in a 'we're gonna make out' way, not even in an 'I forgive you' way. Just in an 'I've missed you' way.”

41 “I may not love you the way you love me, but I do love you.”

42 “But ... umm.”

43 “Why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?”

44 “Oh, that’s right. I’m alone.”

45 “I’m gonna give you summer teeth ... some’re here, some’re there.”

46 “You can’t run back to the past because it’s familiar.”

47 “Nobody asked you, NAME.”

48 “It’s one thing to not want something. It’s another to be told you can’t have it.”

49 "I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn't exist."

50 “You are going to miss out on something great.”

Ted Mosby

51 "If you're not scared then you're not taking a chance. And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?"

52 “You can ask the universe for signs all you want but ultimately we'll only see what we want to see...when we're ready to see it.”

53 "Nothing good happens after 2:00 am… when 2:00 am rolls around, just go home and go to sleep."

54 "The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid."

55 "Sorry, Peter. We're grown ups now, we can't fly to Nevrland with you anymore."

56 "I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?"

57 "People make fun of the guy/girl who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy/girl is a genius.”

58 “Love doesn't make sense! You can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.”

59 “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”

60 “There are a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.”

61 “There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the guy/girl of your dreams and the day you marry him/her.”

62 ““I’m crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say?” “Yes. No. Maybe.” “Those are the three options.”

63 “The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.”

64 “It's kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half.”

65 “Whether a gesture's charming or alarming, depends on how it's received.”

66 “Because sometimes even if you know how something's gonna end that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.”

67 “Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?”

68 “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figured, if it's going to happen it'll happen when it happens. I'm not going anywhere, he’s/she's not going anywhere. What's the rush, right?”

69 “I think for the most part if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you.”

70 “We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that in those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.”

71 “You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.”

72 “I'm sorry, when I'm excited I abbreviate words I shouldn't.”

73 “We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.”

74 “When you believe in people, people come through.”

75 “If you love something, you can never let it go. Not even for a second. Or it's gone forever.“

76 “Hey ref! Check your voicemail, I think you've missed a few calls!“

77 “Turns out, when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray.“

78 “NAME, if you asked a hundred people: 'Who's the worst person you could possibly date?' They'd all say 'your therapist', except the ones saying 'NAME'.”

79 “Sometimes our best decisions are the ones that don't make any sense at all.“

80 “We've always been a trio! We're right up there with Batman and Robin and Alfred. Romeo and Juliet and the apothecary. Salt and pepper and cumin.“

Lily Aldrin

81 “You guys dated before. That time counts. The clock doesn't reset to zero. It un-pauses from where you left off.”

82 “We struggle so hard to hold on to these things that we know are gonna disappear eventually. And that’s really noble.”

83 “You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.”

84 “I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not.”

85 “Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.”

86 “The 'no more surprises'-thing is the best part of being married.”

87 “So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital 'I'?”

88 “Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.” “Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!”

89 “So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?” “Oh, grow up, NAME, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!”

90 “I think my soul just threw up a little bit.“

91 “Your heart's talking to you, NAME. Do you have the guts to listen to it?”

92 “I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it.” “Great, then I don't care if you have an orgasm. If you care, you do it.”

93 “Who wants hot-wings?” “I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on NAME, since he's/she’s a total chicken.”

94 “I hate how you're always right.” “It's my best, and most annoying, trait.“

95 “Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.“

96 “NAME check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.”

97 “If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage, you are going to lose me.”

98 “Why not just say goodbye to the bad things?”

99 “Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a no instead of a yes, to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache.”

100 “Where’s the poop, NAME? Where’s the poop?”

Marshall Eriksen

101 “Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!”

102 “Why does he/she keep doing this? He meets them. He/She likes them way too much. He/She goes way too big too soon. He/She ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's/She’s fallen in love so many times now.”

103 “Ow! Paper cut ... Death is all around us.”

104 “This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.”

105 “It's a little late but WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS?”

106 “Hey baby, it's me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.”

107 “Being in a relationship is hard. And committing, making sacrifices it's hard. But if it's the right person, it's easy. Looking at that guy/girl, and knowing he’s/she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it's not like that then he’s/she's not the one.”

108 “Here's the thing, NAME. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in comfort and it's raining outside and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.”

109 “He’s:She's never seen Star Wars?! NAME, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars. And that's cause they lived them, NAME! That's cause they lived the Star Wars.”

110 “Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.”

111 “I’ve never asked NAME to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. He’s/She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from him/her.”

112 “Happy Slapsgiving!”

113 “This is what I miss about being in a couple. I always had someone to go to concerts with, or farmer's market, or brunch. God, I miss brunch!” “Well, I guess you could - well, you could try going to brunch alone.” “Oh, you don't think I've tried?” [FLASHBACK]  “Table for one.” “One... Couple?” “Um, no, just me.” “Really? For brunch?” “You're right. Who am I kidding?” [Leaves restaurant. End of Flashback] “Oh, the Popover Pantry! That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow?” “Of course, sweetie.” “Can I go with you guys?” “Really? For brunch?”

114 “That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.”

115 “That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’”

116 “Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.”

117 “I’m a good boyfriend/girlfriend in my sleep.”

118 “You have to let me dance my own battles.”

119 “One good deed leads to another and another.”

120 “Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs…it’s like we’re the president.”

121 “All hail beercules!”

122 “I don’t know what to do with my hands. What do I normally do with my hands?”

123 “Hey, baby.” “We hate NAME now. Get on board or the sexting stops.” “NAME’s a son of a bitch!”

124 “Are these chicken wings or angel wings? God, I love these things.”

125 “Oh, and you think you can step up to me? To me?!”

[addictofsupernatural]

The Southsider (pt. 14)

Sweet Pea x reader

Chapter Summary: Y/n isn't taking the news about her father all too well.

A/n: The accounts that don't work when I try to tag them will be tagged in the comments.

Warnings: smut (labeled where it starts and ends)

Word Count: 2022

Chapter 1 • Chapter 13

You looked at the phone, tears making your eyes foggy. Sweet Pea ended the call and looked at you. "Babe." He said quietly.

When you looked at him, he was taken aback. You began to breathe heavier and tears were streaming down your face. But that wasn't it. You had the look of pure terror on your face.

"Sweetheart."

"Sweets." You looked at him with the most vulnerable expression. "I'm scared."

"No, babe-"

You began to breathe faster, panicking and shaking your head. "He's gonna come for me! He'll find me! He'll gonna kill me!" You began to shake uncontrollably as you went into a panic attack.

All Sweet Pea could do was grab you and engulf you into his arms, holding you as you cried in fear. He rested his head on top of yours as you just let everything out.

By the time FP and Jughead barged into the trailer, you were calmer in Sweet Pea's arms as you both sat on the couch. Your face was puffy and you wore a broken expression. "Kid." FP said gently as he knelt down to you.

"He's gonna take me." You said in a hoarse voice. "I'm going to die." You didn't look at him. You then looked at Sweet Pea. "And you! We have to break up."

"What?" His grip loosened on you.

You nodded your head quickly. "If he finds out that we're dating he'll come for you." You were beginning to shake again.

"Kid, look at me." You looked at FP with hopeless eyes. "What is the first law?"

You sniffed. "No serpent stands alone."

He brushed some hair out of your face. "What is the fourth law?"

"No serpent is left for dead." You snuggled into Sweet Pea further.

FP gave you a gentle smile. "What is the sixth law?"

You smiled back. "In unity, there is strength."

"In unity, there is strength." Sweet Pea and Jughead echoed.

"Well there you have it." FP said. "He's not gonna hurt you. The Serpents won't let him."

"And you can't get rid of me that easily." Sweet Pea whispered as he kissed below your ear.

The four of you then made a plan. The Serpents were going to stay at your house with you so nothing would happen to you at night. At every shift at Pop's, a few members were to stay there with you. Sweet Pea or Fangs were to be with you at all times.

Although you still felt a heavy fear deep within you, you couldn't help but feel more safe. You finally had a family that you could love without being afraid to lose them. Maybe you could be happy.

The next day you set up a huge pile of blankets and pillows. You bought a ton of groceries and took more shifts at Pop's, despite feeling a little more unsafe there. If people were going to sleep in your living room to make you feel safer, then the least you could do is get food to make for them.

Different Serpents would be there when you were working. Sometimes it was old Serpents, sometimes it was regular Serpents, most of the time it was your friends, but the one who was always there was Sweet Pea. Either way, you always gave whoever was there free dessert.

You really got to know everyone. At night Sweet Pea would sneak into your room, sometimes just to feel your warmth, and sometimes it was for not so innocent purposes. But you'd wake him up earlier than FP so he wouldn't know.

Everybody woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. "Who wants breakfast?" You called out. Everyone cheered.

Jughead was leaning on the counter next to you, munching on bacon as you served people some pancakes. "So," he said as he ate. "When are you gonna tell my dad about Sweet Pea going to your room every night?"

This caught Sweet Pea's ear. "About the same time I tell him about you sneaking off at night to go to Betty's." He glared at you. "At least I'm assuming you go to Betty."

"Fair enough." He passed a paper plate to you, and you put more waffles on it. You gave him a big smile as you gave the plate back to him.

"Nice." Fangs said, sticking out his plate for some pancakes. Sweet Pea pushed his shoulder and gave you a quick peck on the cheek.

"We're going to school dad." Jughead called out.

"Alright." He called back.

"Guys please clean up after yourselves!" You shouted before leaving.

After school you, Jughead, Toni and Fangs would all go to the Carrie rehearsals. Sweet Pea offered to be there as well, but you insisted that you wanted him to see your performance on the day of the play.

You began to grow exhausted, whether it be from the rehearsals or school or work or having to cook for about 30 people almost everyday. It was mainly from worrying about when or where your dad would show up. It showed, and your loyal boyfriend took it upon himself to do something about it.

"Come on." Sweet Pea said, tugging your hand.

"Where are we going?" You said, tired and stressed. "I should probably cook dinner for everybody."

"No, not today. You've been taking care of everybody lately. You deserve a break." He hopped on his bike and handed you your jacket. You slid it on and hopped on, loving his warmth as you held onto him.

You rode to his trailer. You went inside to where you felt most at home, most at peace. You felt his hands snake around your waist as he buried his face in your neck. He began leaving kisses up and down your neck. "You haven't been taking care of yourself. I noticed that you've been skipping meals."

You breathed out a sigh. "I've been busy. I did eat dinner though."

"I know, but I still feel like you should have a treat." He took you to his room, where there was a big tray filled with small pastries. "I went to Greendale earlier and got them at a bakery."

You turned around and kissed him. "Sweets you are so perfect."

"Gotta make sure my girl feels appreciated." He then took you to the bed, where you two sat and ate with each other while talking and joking. Once you were finished with everything, you set the tray on the floor. "Babe, you have a bit of cheesecake on your lip."

- - - smut starts - - -

Before you could do anything, Sweet Pea grabbed your cheek, licking off the cheesecake before kissing you deeply. "Sweets." You breathed out.

He pulled your shirt over your head and unclipped your bra, gently pushing you to lay on your back. He hovered over you, putting wet kisses down your neck to your collarbone. "Let me take care of you. I want to make you feel special."

You nodded and laid your head back. You closed your eyes as you felt him kiss his way down your chest and stomach, opening them once he yanked down your pants as well as your panties. You gasped at the cold breeze onto your core.

"Already so wet for me." He licked up from your core to your folds. "Only I could make you like this." He then kissed your clit, causing a moan to escape you.

"Sweets, please." You whispered.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm nice." He then slowly inserted a finger into you. He waited a moment for you to adjust before slowly moving it in and out. He then picked up the pace, and pretty soon he added a second finger.

"Oh God, Sweets yes." You began to get noisier as the tension built up inside of you.

He left kisses on your clit, driving you closer and closer to the edge. He then began to suck on your clit, causing your thighs to shake. "That's it." He said. "Come for me, princess."

You just let go of the tension you were holding in as your orgasm washed over you. When he made sure you were okay, you sat up. "Come here, babe." You said, reaching out your hands.

You both went in for a deep kiss. You could taste yourself on him, but you didn't care. "That's the first time you called me babe." He smiled against your lips.

"I want you to feel good too." You said as you palmed him through his jeans.

"Tonight was about you though." He said as he moved your hand away, begining to breathe harder.

You straddled him and ground into him. "Then make me feel good again. Please." You buried your face in his neck.

"You're amazing." He breathed out.

- - - smut end - - -

You opened your eyes to you snuggled up against your boyfriend's chest. You were engulfed in warmth and didn't want to get out. You gently got out of the arms that were wrapped around you and checked your phone. 7:47. School starts in 13 minutes.

You quickly got up and looked around for your panties, not being able to find them. You did find your bra, and put it on. Sweet Pea stirred away and smiled at you lazily. "We're gonna be late for school." You said. "You gotta get up. Up up up!" You threw the blankets off of him, then pecked the top of his head. "Where's my underwear?"

He sat up and picked up the ripped material from the ground. "Sorry. Got a little carried away." His smile didn't match his apology. "Wear one of mine."

You huffed, putting a pair of boxer briefs on and tossing on your jeans and one of his shirts. You then got ready at lightning speed, pushing Sweet Pea around with you for him to get ready.

You both got there at 7:58. You ran to your Biology class and sat down right before the bell rang. Toni looked at you, about to make a comment about the mess that you were. "Don't." You said.

After work you opened the door to see Sweet Pea leaning on his bike in the parking lot. He had a grin on his face. "I have a surprise for you."

You went up to him and hugged him. "Another one? Last night's surprise was amazing enough."

He kissed your cheek and pulled out a small box, handing it to you. "Open it." You smiled and pulled off the ribbon, opening it. It was a pocket knife. "I figured you would feel safer with it, and every serpent has a pocket knife on them."

It was a Galaxy color, and when you opened the blade it was also the same color as the handle. It was thicker than most, as well as sharper it seemed. "I figured that when I'm not there to protect you, you'd think of me when you're being a badass."

You giggled and put it in your pocket. "Always so thoughtful, Pea." You deeply kissed him. "I can't help but fall in love with you."

He froze. "What?"

You immediately back away. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You probably weren't ready, and I probably shouldn't be rushing into saying that I love you, and-"

You were cut off by Sweet Pea's lips. His hands were on your hips as he pulled you closer to him. You ran your hand through his hair, your other hand on his shoulder. He suddenly pulled back. "I love you too." He gasped out.

You giggled as you took a look at Sweet Pea. His eyes were wide and his lips were swollen. His hair was in a mess and he had a goofy smile on. You jumped on him and kissed all over his face while he laughed in response.

He pulled back as you paused and pecked him on the lips. "Is my girl happy?" You excitedly nodded. "Is she ready to leave?" You nodded again. "Then let's go."

What you both didn't know was that same night, your father had been released. They asked if he wanted to be taken to you, but he said no. They asked if he wanted your address, but said no. What he asked for was money, only ten dollars. He then went to Riverdale High, and bought a ticket to Carrie: the Musical.

-------

Author's Note: Sorry I didn't update last week. Writer's block. This was kinda my least favorite chapter so far, but I'll try to be better next chapter.

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Tag List:

@madaboutlili @sireennotsiren @elsie2018 @greyfairie @iamaunicorn4704 @wanna-plan-world-domination @whenallsaidanddone @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @live-love-bailar @thecraziestcrayon @cvvlxx-deactivated @grim-adventures58 @official--fangirl @jesus-jagiya @skeletalwolfcat @theunofficialduke @punkrock-cinnamonroll @rhi-an-onn @amongthewildthingss @apocalypticriot @anahgiedd @dreamsfromanemptyteacup @maddiebee2019 @fromheroestodust @blue-pink-green @alaynaadams22

[potionxshop]

A very (very) long BotW theory

This is a looong post so if you don’t wanna read it please scroll really fast !

So few days after Nintendo showed this amazing BotW trailer during Nintendo Switch presentation, I watched a video made by two french youtubers (Bronol and Ico) posted on their second channel called “Team Trash” (their main channel being “Trash”) in which they exposed some of their theories regarding the upcoming loz game. I had stopped watching all these theory videos tbh but I had some time to kill and since I really enjoy these guys’ work I clicked it. And holy sh- I found it really interesting *-* In this video, they mostly talk about BotW’s spot in the timeline (which they situate after Ocarina of Time, in the “Hyrule’s decline” branch). I promised @rikzpt that I would translate it and share it with you all. It took me a long time to do so, since the video is 18:30 long ;u; Thus, I haven’t translated every sentence, I skipped some “unecessary” bits, and I apologize in advance for any typo or grammatical mistake.

↑ Here’s the original video, in case some of you want to watch it even though it’s entirely in french !

Here goes the translation ! (︶▽︶✿)

Bronol : A new Botw trailer just came out and it was amazing and full of new information. So Ico and I anlayzed it, frame by frame. We felt dumb cause we hadn’t seen it coming but Botw Link could actually be the same as in Ocarina of Time. […] So let us explain our theory.

What the Timeline says

Bronol : First there are three official timelines, Ocarina of Time has created some kind of… temporal paradox. There is a branch where Link leaves after defeating Ganon and thus leaves the people without a legendary hero. Then Ganon breaks its seal and since there’s no hero around well he just… destroys everything easy peasy which leads to Wind Waker’s world. In the second Timeline, after Link defeated Ganon, he goes back in the past then he and Zelda denounce him to Hyrule King. Ganondorf is then judged by the sages and is exlied in the Twilight Realm. [...] In this Timeline Ganondorf has never become Ganon and the line of Links could carry on. And then there’s this kinda phony third timeline, the one where Link loses against Ganon in the final battle of Ocarina of Time. Until now this timeline was pretty unclear, we could think that the sages had still sealed Ganondorf away despite Link’s death all of this was fuzzy and looked like a weird patchwork (don’t lie). Excepted that Botw could be in this timeline -as its missing link-. We tend to say that since (OoT) Link was deprived of the Master Sword at the very beginning of the battle against Ganon […], it is highly possible that Link was then killed by Ganon since he had no weapon to defend himself with. Then we could imagine that the sages somehow found a way to seal Ganon and took Link’s body to put him into stasis, since they knew they’ll need his help again, I’ll explain that later… […] Hence in BotW we would play as OoT Link after being resurrected [...] since -as we saw during this year’s E3- the first location we encounter in the game is called « The Shrine of Resurrection ». Regarding Ganon, the official chronology tells us that Zelda and the sages managed to seal him, however, despite being emprisonned in the Sacred Realm he still had the three parts of the Triforce so the sages knew that -with such power- it would only be a matter of time until he could escape from the realm. We also know that even if Link was defeated, they need him since he’s the only one who’s able to truly stop Ganon, we learnt that in Skyward Sword.

The connection with Ocarina of Time

Ico : Well it’s pretty obvious. Many elements were shown in plain view such as the Temple of Time which is exactly the same as in Ocarina of Time and what’s below this Temple ? The ruins of the former castletown, especially the huge fountain. Moreover this new Zelda game is full of references to the Sheikah tribe and please note that sentence that we read in the description of the Sheikah slate : "You've never seen this device before, and yet... there's something familiar about it." From there, to say that it is a gossip stone miniaturized thanks to new technology, there is only one step.

Let’s now talk about Calamity Ganon’s design. It’s still a spectral form but we can distinguish few things. Look at those eyes, looks at those horns, just look at this silhouette, it exactly looks like the Ganon we fight in Ocarina of Time.

Well on top of that, there’s this fairy that looks like the great fairies from OoT and MM [...], there are gerudos […] and there’s also the Great Deku Tree ! And he evens tells Link « That look on your face tells me that you have no recollection of me » why of course Link doesn’t remember him since the last time he saw him he was still in his sprout form.

What occurs in this new Zelda

Bronol : So now that we’ve talked about the similarities, what does this new trailer tell us ? First (and the royal family could expect it), Ganondorf broke the seal and has destroyed the new castletown. He had already destroyed the one in Ocarina of Time, then the hylians had rebuilt it in the meantime and he came back to destroy it again. Since the notion of time between each game is often unclear, we don’t really know how much time has passed before Ganondorf could escape from the realm. In any case, the hylians were given a sufficient amount of time to rebuild some kind of kingdom and see a new Zelda (maybe few generations) accede to the throne. Well yes while it might be the same Link as in Ocarina of Time, it doesn’t mean it has to be the same Zelda. […] Also, regarding Hyrule King’s voice that we hear in the trailer, we are almost certain that he’s in fact that old man we meet during the first minutes of our adventure, the one who acts like some kind of guide which really resembles King of Red Lions’ personality in Wind Waker, so couldn’t this be the same character but in a different universe ? (meaning different branch of the Timeline)

The Master Sword and its connection with the other games

Ico : Zelda has probably taken the sword after the battle against Ganon and has hidden it in one of the last barriers against the malevolent forces which is : the Kokiri Forest -since the Great Deku Tree has the power to push them back-.

Just a reminder : The Master Sword helped Link to defeat Ganondorf. Hence, Ganon -knowing how powerful this blade is- would obviously seek a way to destroy it completely. Thus the sword could not be replaced in the Temple of Time since this would be the first place where Ganon would look for it. This can also explain why the temple is in ruins since Ganon might have ravaged it. […] It was crucial to hide the Master Sword in a safe place since this blade is Hyrule’s only hope to defeat the king of evil for good. Now it becomes really interesting for this could also explain why the Master Sword looks so rusty. It has rusted because it does no longer benefit from the « temporal protection » dispended by the Temple of Time -since we know that this temple well… controls time-. This is why the Master Sword in TP is not rusty since it still stands in the ruins of the Temple of Time. Regarding WW, the Master Sword is still in good shape and yet we find it in Hyrule Castle, not in the Temple of Time itself. Well, since we know that the castle has been destroyed in Ocarina of Time, we could think that WW Hyrule Castle has been rebuilt around/on the former Temple of Time, leaving the sword where it belongs. All of this can also explain why we find the Master Sword in the Lost Woods in AlttP, which is a game that would take place -according to our theory- after BotW.

The races and their evolution

Bronol : About the Koroks : Ico and I believe that the Koroks are actually the Kokiris’ true original form. Okay we know that in WW, it is said that the Kokiris had to turn into Koroks in order to adapt themselves to their new surroundings. However, we encounter the same Koroks in BotW and yet the world has not been flooded as in Wind Waker. This could mean that their Kokiri appearance was actually a way to adapt themselves to a situation. Let me explain… We can notice that the world of Ocarina of Time is very « civilized », there are lots of Hylians. The Koroks would thus be well advised to modify their shape in order to look like « humans » and make the relations easier. But now that Ganon has (more or less) slaughtered the whole Hylian race, they no longer have a reason to keep their human form. They’d better go back to their original form which allows them to hide in the forest etc.

« What’s the connection with AlttP ? » you’ll ask me, since there is no Kokiri or Korok in this game, and there’s no Great Deku Tree either… Well, the answer is simple : they’ll die in BotW (lol) :) We’re pretty sure that the Great Deku Tree will die in BotW and what happens when the Great Deku Tree dies ? The Koroks/Kokiris die too, as Mido tells us in OoT (only in the french version apparently :c )

What about the other races ? First let’s talk about the goron we saw in the trailer. Well this guy looks like… every goron we know. Did you notice that the goron tribe is the only one (along with the Hylians) that doesn’t evolve throughout the ages ? As the years pass, the fewer they are. Take WW for instance which takes place a hundred years after OoT and there are only… 3 gorons left. They don’t fit in this new environment and yet they have not evolved unlike Zoras who turned into Ritos. Talking about Zoras ! We saw them in the latest BotW trailer and we know that they also appear in AlttP but the interesting thing here is that in AlttP… they’re bad guys. And take a look at their design in BoTW. We’re far from the simplistic Zora from OoT or MM, now they look like real warriors, they look like freaking sharks and all… I mean… I would not mess with them if I were you. […]

The role of the Sheikah

Ico : Okay guys, remember that this is only pure homemade theory. Here’s what could possibly happen regarding the Sheikah tribe in BotW. What if the Sheikah were the main antagonists in BotW ? What if they made an alliance with Ganon to invade the kingdom of Hyrule ? We came to that theory thanks to this lil’ guy who’s fighting against Link

[…] Let’s not forget the « Life in the ruins » trailer which starts with a Sheikah eye shedding a tear that turns into a puddle of blood (which evokes war) over which a forest will grow evoking a return to the wild. I don’t think one could make it less explicit. In Ocarina of Time, we learn that there had been a war before the beginning of the game. We don’t know who the enemy was but many theories speculate that it was the Sheikah tribe, which has then been defeated and tortured and humiliated (→ just look at all the torture devices you can find in Kakariko Village’s pit). This theory allows us to (potentially) imagine that the remaining Sheikah would have been banished from the Light World and sent into the Twilight Realm thanks to the Mirror of Twilight, thus becoming TP’s Twilis. We also know that Ganondorf’s main forces (aka the Gerudos) have switched camps and have become our allies after we showed them our badassery back in their fortress. By the end of OoT, Ganondorf had thus no remaining ally and no army and eventhough he is very powerful, it is hard to imagine that he could take over the whole kingdom without armed forces. Why not imagine that Ganondorf could have laid his hands on the Mirror of Twilight and freed the exiled Sheikah who would feel a desire for revenge and side with Ganon put the royal family at risk. That’d be cool, wouldn’t it ? […] But let’s not forget that originally the Sheikah tribe’s main purpose is to protect the royal family and the goddess Hylia, so inevitably some of them would still be on the « good side », like those that we meet in the shrines.

The story of Breath of the Wild

Bronol : Let’s sum this up. At the end of OoT, Link loses against Ganon (not Ganondorf). Despite his death, Zelda and the other sages still manage to seal Ganon away. After the battle, Link’s body is brought to some sort of sheikah sarcophagus to preserve him cause they know that Ganon will eventually come back with the whole Triforce in his possession and that it’s only a matter of time before the seal breaks. They just don’t know when it will actually break and they don’t know if a new Link would have appeared in the meantime. Hence, they prefer to keep the « old one » and resuscitate/revive him, because Ganon must be (and can only be) defeated by an incarnation of the hero.

Ico : […] Knowing that Ganon will eventually escape from the realm, Zelda has to protect the Master Sword and hides it in the last barrier against the malevolent forces, that is to say the Kokiri Forest, protected by the Great Deku Tree. Link will need this weapon to defeat Calamity Ganon. Some years pass (we don’t know how many), the kingdom is being rebuilt step by step and then Ganon comes back. However, Link is probably not ready to wake up yet (for whatever reason) so when Ganon kicks in… Link does not appear. It’s only one hundred years after that Link will finally awaken and discover a wild and completely devastated land, and will meet a new Zelda before setting off on a new adventure, helped by the princess. We can imagine that our hero, the Hero of Time, will have to awaken the sages’ descendants in order to finally seal the evil for good. And yes I said « seal » and not « kill » because this is what is said during the opening scene of AlttP. […]

Bronol : […] If you look closely, you can see that every huge 3D loz game holds a key role in the Timeline :

- Ocarina of Time is the centerpiece of the chronology

- Wind Waker, Twilight Princess and Breath of the Wild are the three junctions

- Skyward Sword is at the very beginning and relates the origins of the Timeline

And when we realized that (Ico and I) well… we were excited like kids, y’know.

Et voilà ! ᕕ(  °▽° )ᕗ ♥

[pcyspout]

“I'm going to come in if you don't answer in five seconds.” (Part 1)

 Genre: Slight Angst Warning: Emotional af (to me anyway) Pairing: Kim Jongdae, Kim Minseok Word Count: 3,779 Summary:

Minseok is going through one of the worst times in his life, not only has he been abandoned but he feels betrayed. Jongdae has always been faithfully by Minseok's side, and he'll stay by his side through this too. But what happens when Jongdae realizes he has feelings for his best friend who may be in love with someone else?

|Major Characters: Minseok, Jongdae. All others are minor.|

"It's 7:30 p.m. He still hasn't come out, he has to eat something." The words came out a bit more whiny than intended but that's what happened when Jongdae was on edge. He crossed his legs over one another, an expression of dismay plastered onto his normally bright and cheerful features. Jongdae was staring across their kitchen table at Junmyeon, his fingers tapping impatiently on the table.

"What do you want me to do force him to come out? You know how well that will go, besides Chanyeol said last time he walked past he still heard crying in there." Junmyeon pressed two of his fingers against the top of the bridge of his nose, smoothing them out slowly. There was a lot going on right now and Junmyeon was trying his best to take care of himself and everyone else. "Maybe it's best to let him be right now."

A loud drawn out sigh fell from the mouth of the vocalist after taking a moment to process Junmyeon's words. "Hyung it's been hours, I think that's long enough. We don't have to make him come out, but at least let me go in there." There was an inflection on the word hours when Jongdae said it that hinted to the torture it was to even have to say it had been that long. Jongdae had wanted to go to him the second he found out, but he had been told by all of the other members and manager to stay away for awhile.

Junmyeon pulled his eyes away from the spot he was staring at on the wall, resting his forehead onto his hand. "Fine, but if he tells you to leave you have to come back out we don't need to put any extra discomfort on him." He knew this could end remarkably bad but admittedly he had the same concerns for their other member that Jongdae was having. He slid one of his hands across the table, the back of his thumb now stroking Jongdae's fingers. "Thank you for caring so much about him even though you're just as devastated about this, Chen."

When Jongdae felt Junmyeon's finger stroke against his skin the contact was one of the most reassuring things he had ever felt. Jongdae nodded in response to Junmyeon's request, the leader's last words almost causing him to choke up. Just as Jongdae was about to say something to Junmyeon, Chanyeol walked into the room carrying Baekhyun whose arms were around the tall rappers neck. Jongdae noticed that Sehun was trailing right behind them silently, tears cascading down his cheeks.

"We were talking on the back porch when he finally stopped crying and as soon as he did he passed out." Chanyeol looked from Junmyeon to Jongdae, adjusting his grip on Baekhyun in his arms. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Baekhyun's hair feeling Sehun grab the back of his shirt. "I'm going to take him to bed. Can one of you tell D.O & Kai that he'll be sleeping with me tonight and that Sehun will probably be in there too?" The tallest member let out a soft sigh, his cheeks almost as red as his eyes.

Immediately after seeing Sehun, Junmyeon stood up, stepping over to the maknae and pulling him into his arms holding the smaller male to his chest. One of his hands moving up so that he could gently run his slender fingers through Sehun's hair. When Junmyeon finally took a moment to speak up he said, "Yeah I'll let D.O. & Kai know, I don't know if they'll be back until late. They wanted sometime to go clear their heads, I think they went out to the countryside. Jongdae is going to check on one of the others now."

Junmyeon took a moment to stare down at Sehun fighting back his own tears as the youngest continued to cry, "I'm going to go check on the other two then jump in the shower but if anyone needs me the door will be unlocked. Chanyeol, when I get out I'm going to come back to your room. Take care of him." After a few more moments Junmyeon finally let go of Sehun, disappearing down the hallway.

As Jongdae got up to leave he walked over to Chanyeol, gently and soothingly running his hands along Baekhyun's back before reaching one hand out to touch Sehun's cheek. He then gave Chanyeol a small smile and said in a quiet voice as to not wake Baekhyun, "It's going to be fine guys, we'll get through this together." Jongdae left the three boys in the kitchen, taking in a deep breath before begining his walk down the lengthy hallway.

Once Jongdae was about halfway down he could hear a soft sweet melody beginning to grow louder with each step he took. As the music began to grow more audible, filling his ears he could feel the emotions of the song a small sigh escaping him. He stood in front of the door he needed to knock on and he could now patently hear Im Sejun's voice,

"Don’t go today, just don’t go today. Today, stand next to me, so I can’t forget you. Don’t go today, please don’t leave. Today, try to be next to me."

Jongdae just stood there staring at the door in front of him, unsure of what had him frozen to the spot. Im Sejun's voice was doing an almost perfect job of drowning out the crying, because he could just barely hear a quiet sobbing from behind the door. He allowed his eyes to fall closed, bracing one his hands on the door frame as he listened to the song. Each lyric felt as though it were piercing right through his heart, but was it because of everything that had happend or was it because of something else entirely? A single tear rolled down Jongdae's cheek as he choked on a sob that almost came out.

Jongdae was usually able to hold his emotions in pretty well but seeing the other members like this was really affecting him. He shook his head to get the thoughts out, composing himself before raising one of his fists and knocking lightly on the door. Jongdae heard the song start over again and he waited but there was no response to his knocking. The only sounds coming from the room were the music flowing from the speakers and a now barely audible sobbing. "I'm going to come in if you don't answer in five seconds." He counted along in his head to the beats of the song, once the time was up he slid the door open.

The room was dimly illuminated by a singular candle that rested on the desk in the corner of the room. Jongdae stepped into the room slowly, silently shutting the door behind him. When his eyes finally adjusted to the lighting he looked over at the bed the sight before him breaking his heart even more. The occupant of the bed was curled into a ball with his face towards the wall, his arms wrapped around his own body. He slowly walked over to the bed feeling his chest getting tighter as he continued to fight back tears. "You haven't eaten all day, you should eat something." Jongdae perched himself down on the edge of the bed lightly, for the moment keeping his hands to himself. Jongdae almost used the other member's nickname, stopping himself after realizing that may be too painful

When he felt Jongdae sit down on the bed Minseok knew he wasn't going to be able to get rid of him easily, so he forced himself to sit up in the bed. He brought his hands which were hidden inside the sleeves of a sweatshirt up and wiped his face then let out a small sniffle. Minseok let out a long breath and then in a quiet raspy voice he said, "I'm fine Chenny Chenny, really nothing to worry about." His lie would have been a little bit more convincing if there were not tears still streaming from his eyes. Minseok wiped his face a few more times his dark eyes lifting up and looking at Jongdae's, "You shouldn't have to see me like this."

As Jongdae watched Minseok using his sweater paws, as they were called, to wipe his face he made a disapproving sound. He grabbed a box of tissues from Minseok's night stand then carefully began to wipe the older member's eyes and face. "I have been waiting for you to come out all day... Do you know how worried I've been? Manager and Suho hyung told me I couldn't come back here because I needed to give you time. The others agreed with them too, so I just sat and waited." Jongdae pushed out his bottom lip just the slightest bit, at the memory of the events he had to deal with throughout the day. Once Jongdae finished cleaning up the older member's face the song started over, at a loss for words when he saw that Minseok had brought his knees to his chest and started crying again.

Minseok may be the most "aegyo" member of the group but letting people see you being cute and allowing people to see your vulnerability were two very different things. That's why he had kept himself locked away because everytime he had thought he could hide it the fact that Luhan was really gone hit him like a ton of rocks. He lifted his eyes to study Jongdae's face, watching the younger member through his tears. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't be around anyone. I hope you understand." Minseok was blown away by how much Jongdae cared for him, it was something he honestly did not believe he would ever get used to. Other than Luhan, Jongdae had always been the member he was the closest to and he immediately felt bad for making the younger vocalist worry. In an order to divert some of the attention away from himself Minseok wiped his face with the tissues Jongdae had grabbed and in a soft almost hoarse voice asked, "How's everyone else taking it?"

Jongdae turned himself to sit on the mattress so that he was now facing Minseok, once again taking a tissue from the box and tending to the older member's face. "Don't appologize to me, I understand." He wanted to press the issue of Minseok eating further but as of right now Jongdae was just happy he was talking to him. "Sehun and Baekhyun are having a really hard time, Baekhyun cried so much that he passed out and I don't think Sehun has stopped crying. Chanyeol's currently taking care of them both." Jongdae nodded his head as he spoke, inhaling slowly before speaking again "Kai and D.O. went out together to have some time to think. Suho is trying to hold everything together as usual. Tao and Yixing haven't come out of Yixing & I's room since after lunch."

Just as Jongdae had leaned back from throwing some of the tissues away he saw another tear rolling down Minseok's full cheeks; without a thought Jongdae reached over and wiped it away with his thumb. All the members knew that Minseok didn't like having his face touched so they hardly ever did so. The feeling of Minseok's soft skin under his thumb caused the younger vocalist to swallow thickly,"S-sorry hyung." The only thing Jongdae wanted to do was hug Minseok but he knew that may upset him so he was keeping himself at an acceptable distance. "Is this really the best song to be listening to right now?" Jongdae asked in an innocent tone, seeing very obviously how much the song was affecting Minseok.

Minseok's eyes widdened when he felt Jongdae's skin come in contact with his tear stained cheeks. The older singer found that he didn't mind it nearly as much as he thought it did, or maybe it was that today was causing him to crave some kind of human contact. . "You don't have to be sorry, I don't mind dae." Jongdae's next question caused Minseok to hang his head down, a long sigh escaping his mouth. Minseok gave the younger boy a weak smile, "Probably not, but I can't help myself." Minseok lightly shrugged his shoulders, his eyes still brimming with tears as he stared down at his phone beside him. He didn't know what he was hoping for, quite frankly Minseok didn't know anything anymore. Luhan hadn't even told Minseok that he had been actually been thinking about leaving so not only did he feel betrayed but he had to learn how to be without the one person, other than Jongdae, that he did almost everything with.

Jongdae leaned over Minseok, grabbing the older singer's phone and pressing pause on the music. He knew that Minseok might get mad about what he had done but he didn't think Minseok should be doing things that make him even more upset. Jongdae's tongue slid over his lips as he looked at Minseok, reaching once more and wiping the singer's face off with his hand. As he stared at the wall he ran his free hand through his own hair and said to Minseok, "I'm sorry this happened, it hurts me too but I can't imagine how it feels for you and Sehun. " There was a long silence after Jondae spoke, one of his hands was now resting on one of Minseok's shoulders. Finally in a voice that was so quiet it was almost a whisper Jongdae added, "Please don't shut me out because of it."

The closeness of Jongdae to Minseok caused the older singer's breath to stop, his eyes focused on nothing but the younger member. Minseok was going to say something about Jongdae pausing his music but he reazlied that the young singer was just doing what he thought was best. He found the way that Jongdae cared for him more endearing than he could put into words, the silence wasn't as bad as he had expected it definitely pulled more of his focus to Jongdae. Minseok's eyes closing for just a moment as Jongdae's lithe fingers touched his face again. He reached out as if he were going to touch Jongdae's face, stopping when the young singer started to speak. Having been moved by Jongdae's words, Minseok finally reached forward to actually touch Jongdae's cheek. "How could I ever shut my Chenny Chenny out?" Another weak smile curled the corners of his mouth, patting Jongdae's cheek softly.

Jongdae was happy that if even for that moment Minseok had been able to stop crying. Silence between the two was usually unheard of, however this was a welcome silence there was something calming about it. As he saw Minseok's hand reaching out for him, his tongue slid over his lower lip out of nerves. Once Minseok's palm came in contact with Jongdae's face the younger member let out a breath he had been holding in. Jongdae couldn't help the cute expression that overtook his face when Minseok called him Chenny Chenny. Minseok's smile caused Jongdae to feel accomplished even though it was a minuscule amount. He leaned into Minseok's touch, quietly saying "I like it a lot better when you're smiling." Jongdae suddenly got an idea and he excitedly looked up into Minseok's eyes, "Scoot forward where you're sitting hyung!" Jongdae got up from the bed, standing beside it and looking down at Minseok.

The expression on Jongdae's face caused Minseok's smile to become a little bit stonger. He raised his hands up to wipe his eyes once more, inhaling deeply as he tried to stop more tears from brimming over. Minseok slowly took his hand away from Jongdae's face tilting his head at the request but sliding his body forward away from his pillows. Knowing Jondae there was no telling what idea he had just had, and Minseok was too tired to fight it anyway. He could feel his body shaking as he sat there, knowing it was a combination of weakness and the overwhelming amount of emotions he was experiencing.

When Minseok moved forward and got situated Jongdae got back onto the bed, settling in right behind him with his legs on either side of the smaller member. Without a word Jongdae slid his arms around Minseok's middle, holding the older singer tight to him. Jongdae leaned in and rested his head on Minseok's shoulder, inhaling for a moment before saying, "Now how does miso & kimchi soup, beef, & steamed buns from that take out place we like sound for dinner?" Jongdae had already pulled on of his hands from around Minseok, now slowly stroking it along the singer's back. He was anticipating Minseok to tell him that he could go ahead and order the food for the two of them. Jongdae himself had not eaten since breakfast because he had been so worried about the other members.

Admittedly Minseok was a little shocked when Jongdae got behind him in his bed not that it bothered him it was just such an odd request at the time. The moment Jongdae's arms wrapped around Minseok's waist he collapsed back against the young singer and started to cry. Of course this would happen right when Minseok had thought he was finally done crying about it for the day, and could finally hold himself together. There was something about being held onto like that that caused him to become relaxed which in turn meant Minseok stopped holding inside. Minseok brought his palms up to his face, cupping it as he begin to sob uncontrollably. The older singer felt Jongdae's grip on his body become tighter and somehow it caused him to be able to breathe easier. Through the river of tears streaming from his eyes Minseok quietly said, "T-that sounds fine, d-dae." Minseok couldn't help but curse himself, he didn't like for the other members to see his weaknesses like this. His thoughts traveled back to the same place still trying to figure out why Luhan would do this without so much as a word to him.

Jongdae's hands lightly stroked Minseok's stomach in an attempt to comfort him after Minseok had collapsed back against him. He held Minseok close to his body, knowing it was better if the singer got all of this out now and not when he was along. Jongdae knew it wasn't right to feel the way he was but he found himself so angry at Luhan. He knew that Luhan had his own life and his own struggle but seeing the other members in the state they were, especially Minseok, was one of the worst things Jongdae had ever had to experience. "It's going to be okay, baozi, I promise I'm going to make it okay." His voice was so faint when he spoke that you almost couldn't here the way it broke as Jongdae choked back a sob.

Jongdae was accustomed to always having a carefree and playful time that having to deal with serious issues was immensely hard on him. As he looked down at Minseok the realization came crashing over him that there was not a thing in this world he wouldn't do for the older singer. One of his hands kept a tight hold on Minseok while the other grabbed his phone, sending a text to Junmyeon telling him where his wallet was and what he needed him to order he also added that the leader order food for the other members on his card as well. The vocalist then set his phone a side, the hand that was holding now moving to gently stroke through Minseok's hair. "Hyung is going to take the other boy's orders and then he'll call it in." His voice was velvet as he spoke, for some reason at this moment in time words felt so foreign to him.

Minseok started to cry harder when Jongdae comforted him, because he was blown away by the fact that they were all suffering but Jongdae was being so selfless. As he heard Jongdae fighting back crying himself the older singer could feel a part of his heart breaking. The use of his nick name stuck with Minseok, leaving him with a string of mixed emotions. The way Jongdae's hands tenderly touched him caused his heart to flutter even thought he had no idea why that would be. Minseok reached up and wiped his face once more right before Jongdae's fingers began to run through his hair. He allowed his eyes to fall shut, focusing only on the feeling of Jongdae's fingers flowing through his locks. He nodded his head when Jongdae told him that Junmyeon was going to be ordering the food soon. Minseok found that it was easier to breathe when he was focused like this, managing to compose himself once again. "I'm sorry I keep crying Chenny Chenny." He reached and took Jongdae's hand that was on his stomach and interlocked their fingers, holding onto Jongdae as if he were the last thing Minseok would ever be able to touch.

[midnightminx90]

If I'm doing the last 50 ones you do the 50 first! :)

I did this on my phone and i regret it a lot but im finally done1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- If I can eat it with no milk or with yoghurt, I do that instead; I do not like the taste of milk2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- Yeah, but not for too long because I freeze almost all the time3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- Recipts, ribbons, airplanetickets4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- Tea with sugar and honey5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- Kinda?6: do you keep plants?- I have ONE succulent, I prefer them low-maintenance 7: do you name your plants?- nope8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- fanfiction9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- I don't have a good voice, so no10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- side, which causes me to wake up every once in a while because my arm's fallen asleep11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "mør i kinnan" with my best friend and my sister. (From that one time I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt like hell and I managed to say "my cheeks are tender", causing us to laugh even more)12: what's your favorite planet?- Mars is tied with Pluto13: what's something that made you smile today?- Shadowedkitten telling me she read my LotR fanfic again ❤️14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- I wanna go with an industrial, with exposed brick, deep leather sofas, deep and comfy as hell chairs, five cats, a library15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- (I'll come back to this later)16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- Ravioli with spinach, pesto and mozarella17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- Red, as it is now18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- got nothing19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- no. I have books for it, bought bc they're pretty, but I don't use them 😅20: what's your favorite eye color?- Hazel and green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- don't have one22: are you a morning person?- hell no23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- well, they're not that different from my normal days, except i stay in my pj's24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- I wanna say Shadow again, but I also don't like sharing all my secrets, so25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- Haven't26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- Don't have any27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- Licorice28: sunrise or sunset?- Sunset29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- dunno30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- I know I have been but I cannot remember why????31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- I sleep with socks during the cold months, partially bc Im cold, but also bc the pj pants I sleep in currently rides up to my knees if not. No white socks except woolen socks. I love to wear stockings too, like with skirts and dresses32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- never hung out that late33: what's your fave pastry?- I gotta find the English name for it, but we say "berlinerboller"34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- Harefrøken: "miss Hare". She's a bunny that used to be pink, wears a ballerina skirt that also used to be pink with darker pink polladots. She's now white and she's been stuffed a lot. She's in a cardboardbox or bag somewhere35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- I used to have some sets when I was younger (from what I remember: one with a horse, one with cats, one with Tweety the bird). I also used to have glitter pens and scented pens. Now I VERY rarely write by hand 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- Can't think of any right now37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- I like it clean but I suck at putting away my clothes...38: tell us about your pet peeves!- I'm gonna get back to you on this; there are so many39: what color do you wear the most?- Burgundry40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- an Ankh pendant that I wore for a really long time and I would often fiddle with it and never take it off. Then I went to get my heart checked and I had to wear this monitor for three days, which meant I had to take off the necklace and for some reason I broke down crying in the car afterwards. I think I was scared (nothing wrong with my heart btw), and for some reason having to take off the necklace triggered it or something? Later on, the pendant broke in half41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- Annie on my Mind42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- Not a coffe shop, but a cocoa shop. They make cocoa from scratch, you can get like chili chocolate with whipped cream and Kvikk-Lunsj (the Norwegian equivalent of Kit Kat only 10000 times better). They also make iced chocolate. It's a really small place with various (cute) cups, or you can order to go43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- honestly can't remember44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- no idea45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- nah46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- I'm just gonna repeat one my late paternal grandpa used to say whenever we had rice or ice: "I see you in your rice/ice"47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- Mushrooms48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- I think so? Heights at least. Now coupled with fear of abandonment49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- I like to, but spotify is cheaper, sooooo... I THINK the last one was Roo Panes50: what's an odd thing you collect?- I don't???

[myinspirationlog]

Because I'm bored.

65 Questions You Aren't Used To 1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? - I used to all the time when I was younger. Not so much anymore. 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? - 0. I am only truly afraid of humans. 3. The person you would never want to meet? - My ex, honestly. 4. What is your favorite word? - Don't know if I have one. 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? - Maybe a birch, I think. Frail, constantly shedding, yet somehow beautiful. 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? - I don't remember. Probably something about how tired I am. 7. What shirt are you wearing? - Volunteer shirt from last year's Pride festival. Using it to sleep in. 8. What do you label yourself as? - Not a lot. 9. Bright room or dark room? - Both. Either one would drive you crazy in exclusivity. 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? - Dancing by myself to shitty but addictive music. 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? - 22. Definitely. 23 has been a rough one. 12. Who told you they loved you last? - Probably one of my kids at work. 13. Your worst enemy? - Have none. 14. What is your current desktop picture? - A painting of a tree with white flowers on a blue background. 15. Do you like someone? - Yes. But I know better. 16. The last song you listened to? - Lady Gaga, Applause. 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? - Leader of ISIS? 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? - Also leader of ISIS. 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? - Leader of ISIS. I'd have them vanquish their own allies. 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) - My eyes are decent sometimes. I also have pretty decent cheek bones. 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? - I guess I'd be thinner and maybe taller, statistically. I'd probably just walk around in public spaces and experience life as a man. 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? - If I do, it's so secret I don't even know about it. 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? - Swans, maybe. And badgers? 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. - Avocado, fresh spinach, vegan cheese, sliced tomatoes. 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? - Put it in my savings account, duh. 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? - New York. 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? - Absolut Vodka. 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? - No living creatures may be harmed unless it is an utmost necesity for your own survival. 29. What is your favorite expletive? - "Well..." 30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? - My phone, duh. 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - Why erase it. Then it'll be for nothing. 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! - USA. Forever and always. 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? - Hmm. Maybe one of my pets. Or Marilyn Monroe. 34. What was your last dream about? - Don't remember. 35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - No. 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? - Yes. 37. Have you ever built a snowman? - Yes. 38. What is the color of your socks? - Not wearing any. 39. What type of music do you like? - Good music that feeds my intellect and my physical being and my soul all at once. 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? - Sunrises. The hold more possibility. 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? - I'm more of a smoothie person. 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) - None. 43. Do you have any scars? - Yes. 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? - Have already graduated. Wanted to be a filmmaker. Feel like I've only gotten further away from that goal. 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? - My appearance. 46. Are you reliable? - Yes. 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? - Is it worth it? 48. Do you hold grudges? - Yes. 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? - Flying whales would be kind of cool, just from an aesthetic point of view. Like imagine whales just flying around in the sky. Dayum. 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? - Oh wow. I've had plenty. 51. Are you a good liar? - I'm not sure. 52. How long could you go without talking? - I went for 18 years. 53. What has been you worst haircut/style? - Probably when I had my super long hair, thinking it was pretty because it was long (it was not). 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? - Yes. 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? - Not really, no. 56. What do you like on your toast? - Avocados! No house for me :/ 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? - I can't remember. What a shame. 58. What would be you dream car? - An affordable one that isn't garbage for the environment. 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. - Not really. 60. Do you believe in aliens? - Yes, I do. 61. Do you often read your horoscope? - No. 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? - Maybe H? Cause the pronounciation is different in almost every language. 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? - Dragons, bruh. Please. 64. What do you think about babies? - Love em, but do not want any of my own for a LOOOOONG time. 65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. - Hey, self, what do you want most in life right now? Well, self. What I want most, in all honesty, is just another human to connect with on a deeper level. Someone who will sleep next to me with their arm resting on my side, who will wake up in the morning, brush their teeth, pack a bag and hop on a flight with me without notice. Someone who acts on their words. That is what I want most.