#welcome to my weird interesting but morbid facts

[flyingfortress1]

Reading With the Old Breed thoughts Part 9:

There's an interesting scene during Pelelui where Sledge and this other (I think he never names the guy) Marine he knows are taking a moment, and this dude's like hey, want to see something cool? Sledge's like, okay sure whatever. So this dude pulls out a wax paper wrapped thing, says he needs to let it dry out in the sun some more anyway- and unwraps it to be a FREAKING HUMAN HAND he pulled off a Japanese corpse.

Sledge is just, quite rightly, wtf dude- whyyy do you have that, you will get in trouble with our officers, that is sooo gross, why. just why

and then some other Marines mosey on over to see what's going on- cause I guess being in the middle of a combat zone makes people very noisy lol- and they are also, like, wtf dude! that is so gross! please throw that away, what is wrong with you. Which he does thanks to the persuasion of peer pressure.

Keep in mind that these are the same guys who are looting dead corpses and pulling teeth out of dead people, and they think this is gross. So you know you've really fucked up then. or are fucked up when they think that's bad.

Also Sledge gets really freaked out first time he sees Marines stripping corpses which I would probably too honestly, and then he just gets desensitized to it. The scene where Snafu shoots the Japanese soldier as a mercy as a Marine is trying to cut the teeth out of this barely alive guy does actually happen- only Sledge didn't know the guy in real life. And while Snafu stopping Sledge from taking the teeth out with the germs thing did happen, it wasn't Snafu but a corpsman Sledge really liked called Doc Caldwell (he survived the war yahhh!).

Also apparently, the IJA soldiers had these canned scallops as part of their rations, and Sledge apparently thought they tasted really good. He bargained for them off another marine who probably picked it off a dead guy.

war looting guys, it's wild, and now a war crime. Learned about the whole teeth collecting thing this summer before I watched The Pacific, or read Sledge's book, and I still haven't quite determined if it was limited to gold teeth or if actual human teeth were collected too.

fun fact- you can tell if an Imperial Japanese arisaka rifle was surrendered or not cause they have these chrysanthemums symbol of the emperor engraved on them. If it's been chiseled/scraped off/cut through etc, than it was surrendered cause otherwise it would be dishonor to the emperor.

Fun fact two- those Japanese battle flags that had everyone from the soldier's village/family signing it? Some Marines (probably army too) would take a plain Japanese flag and scribble on their best approximation of kanji on it, and sell it to other soldiers. So there's 'fakes' swimming around if you want to call them that, but from a historian perspective, they're pretty interesting historical artifacts that tell you a lot about some pretty morbid aspects of war. On a lighter note, there's a society called the Oban Society that translates these flags and tracks down and returns them to the family/descendants of the soldier they were taken from.

[erimeows]

Cracks

When September 15th rolls around, Kakashi doesn’t pay it much mind. In fact, he treats it just like he would any other day. Since the ANBU have him off duty, he wakes up early, eats breakfast, and goes to the training grounds to get some exercise in. After that, he heads back home, takes a shower, and goes on a stroll around the village in casual wear. 

It’s weird to think that he’s twenty now. Things aren’t much different than they were when he was nineteen. It’s just another year that’s passed by with no one to spend it with. He remembers his dad celebrating with him when he was really little with a small cake at the kitchen table and the ‘happy birthday’ song gently sung to him. He also remembers Obito, Rin, Minato, and Kushina trying many times to force him to celebrate with surprise parties, random gifts, and surprise dinners. He never reacted well back then, always scolding them and running off. Now, he wishes he’d accepted those birthday surprises a little more gracefully. 

Currently, he’s alone, but he doesn’t mind that too much. No one to ambush him with surprise parties, no one to welcome him home, no one to scold him for not reminding them of his upcoming birthday. While part of him certainly misses those days, this lonely life that he’s grown accustomed to is somehow easier. 

It’s a warm fall day. The light breeze that ruffles Kakashi’s silvery hair keeps it from being too hot, but it’s still warm enough that Kakashi can tell summer hasn’t fully released Konohagakure from its grasp. The leaves on the trees are mostly green. There is the occasional one that’s yellow or orange, telltale signs of how the weather will change in the next few weeks. It’s peaceful and arguably the best birthday he’s had since Minato and Kushina passed away.

…That is until he sees a flash of green, followed by an arm being wrapped around his shoulder. None other than Might Guy is now walking by his side and practically yelling in his ear.

“So, Kakashi… It’s your birthday! What are your plans?”

Kakashi blinks and pushes Guy’s arm off of his shoulder so he can put some distance between them. 

“What…” Kakashi starts, then stops himself. He wants to snap at Guy and demand to know how he discovered what today was. He wants to run off and go lock himself away from the world in the confines of his tiny apartment. He wants to go to work. But then, he remembers all the times he pushed people away. He remembers all of his regrets and decides that this time, he should be kinder to this person who’s clearly just interested in being his friend and learning more about him. “How did you even find out that it was my birthday? I’ve never told anyone that.”

‘At least not anyone that’s still alive,” He finishes the sentence in his head, but doesn’t dare to say such morbid words out loud and risk ruining Guy’s perpetually cheery mood.

“Oh, well, I had to do some digging!” Guy says with a loud, barking laugh while running a hand through his raven locks- which are still cut and groomed in that childish bowl-like hairstyle just like they were the last time Kakashi saw Guy a month or two ago.

“Digging, huh?” Kakashi mutters with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, Lord Third is very helpful, y’know,” Guy explains, and of course, that makes sense. Lord Third- that overly kind, people-pleasing man who has been trying to get Kakashi to work less and spend time with friends for years. Even if Kakashi had never told the old man his birthday directly, he knows it’s in his personal file, which Lord Third unfortunately has access to. The fact that the Hokage would break so many rules about confidentiality for the sake of divulging his birthday of all things borders blasphemous to Kakashi, but he tries to ignore the agitation that bubbles up in his chest when he thinks about it too hard. “But anyway, what are your plans? Got a date?”

A date. Kakashi finds that prospect to be laughable. After all, who would want to go on a date with him? He doesn’t really have any friends, even most of the people in ANBU hate or fear him because of his past. ‘Friend-killer’, they always whisper when they think he can’t hear. Even if he couldn’t hear, he sees the way they look at him, even behind their masks. He sees the way the people on the street are looking at him right now, too, like they could be next if they crossed him the wrong way. Which one of them would be stupid enough to want to go on a date with friend-killer Kakashi? 

“Eh, no,” Kakashi answers after a little too long. “I don’t have anything planned. It’s just like any other day to me. I haven’t celebrated since… Ah, I don’t know when. It’s been a very long time.”

“I’ll have to fix that, then!” Guy exclaims much to Kakashi’s dismay. They stop in the middle of the street so Guy can excitedly put his hands on Kakashi’s shoulders and frame this genuine attempt at being a good friend as a contest like he always does. “Say, it’ll be another contest that you can compete in when my birthday comes around to see which one of us can celebrate the other’s birthday the best!” 

“But your birthday isn’t until January…” Kakashi pouts beneath his mask. 

“That just means you have more time to prepare, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose so, but whatever it is you’re planning, Guy, I’m not interested.”

“Sorry, rival, but I’m afraid you don’t have a choice here,” Much to Kakashi’s surprise, Guy grabs his hand and holds it within his own. Kakashi almost pulls away and leaves, but then he remembers the many others he’s done that to and how they ended up; dead before he realized that he needed to treat them more kindly. Now is his chance to try again. “I’m treating you to dinner whether you’re interested or not! So choose something by yourself or I’m going to drop something off for you later. Which will it be?”

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had a good meal,” Kakashi reluctantly agrees and laces his fingers with Guy’s. He doesn’t miss how Guy’s cheeks are dusted pink, though he’s sure his own appear the same if not worse under his mask. “Shall we hit that one sushi bar down the street from the academy?”

“If that’s what you want, yes!”

And that’s how Kakashi finds himself sitting across from Guy at the local sushi bar, feeling terribly out of place. Occasionally, people stare and whisper about the ‘friend-killer’ when they think he can’t hear, but Kakashi doesn’t pay them any mind. All of this is just a testament as to why he never goes out in public with his coworkers when he’s not on duty. 

In front of him is the cheapest plate of sushi on the menu. It’s a simple five piece dish. The rolls are nothing but plain white rice topped with paper thin slices of tuna. Guy, on the other hand, has this obnoxiously long line of sushi stuffed with tempura shrimp, avocado, and cream cheese- all topped with a whopping portion of crab salad and eel sauce. Next to the ravenette is two bowls of rice with chicken and a plate with a single skewer of sweet dumplings.

“Thank you for the meal, Guy.”

“Sure thing, Kakashi, but do you not want more? That’s a pretty measly portion you’ve got there.���

“No, no, it’s fine, thank you. This is plenty.”

Guy smiles so brilliantly that it blinds Kakashi. Kakashi smiles back just enough that Guy can see how his lips curve upwards under his mask. His stomach and his chest both feel fuzzy in a way that he hasn’t experienced in a long time- and oddly enough, it’s nice. Being around Guy is nice.

He isn’t sure when his perception of Guy changed so much. When they were kids, he thought of Guy as an annoying pest, then as someone he could tolerate on his good days. Somehow, ‘pest’ turned into ‘comrade’, then into ‘good friend’. Kakashi just hadn’t realized it until now.

Guy looks at him between bites of food. Instead of glaring back at those warm eyes or avoiding them, Kakashi feels his own gaze soften. 

“What is it, Kakashi? You seem out of it today!”

Kakashi has a million answers that he could give, the first being a dismissive ‘nothing, I’m fine’ and the second being ‘none of your business’. For once, though, he decides to be honest. 

“I don’t celebrate my birthday. This is unusual for me.”

“Ah, I see,” Guy nods in understanding. “We’ll just have to change that!”

“I guess that wouldn’t be all too bad.”

Kakashi smiles, and with that, they continue to eat. He only picks up the sushi with his chopsticks to eat when Guy is looking somewhere else, just to keep the older man from seeing his face no matter how obvious it is that Guy wants to get a peek. Just like the rest of Kakashi, Guy is so intensely curious about his face and always has been. Rather than most people who just want to know whether he’s attractive or not, Guy only desires to see him without his mask to know and understand him that much better. Kakashi has always been aware of it; of Guy’s goal to know him and to be known by him in return. While he can’t quite understand it, he figures that’s what Guy’s definition of friendship- or love, or maybe both- must be. 

Guy’s friendship is sweet and overwhelming like the sunlight that burns your eyes on a too-hot summer day or the scent of the fresh sakura blossoms that bloom in the middle of spring. Weirdly enough, Kakashi doesn’t mind these days.

“Kakashi, I just wanted to let you know that I greatly appreciate you as both a friend and as a rival! I…” It’s a passionate and earnest speech that has Kakashi shifting uncomfortably in his chair- not because he doesn’t reciprocate, but because he doesn’t know how to or if he even should communicate that he does. “Well, I couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning not knowing you, you know? You mean the world to me and I love you very much, so that’s why I wanted to do something special for you today! I hope we can make this a tradition from now on.”

“Guy, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, whatever you want.”

“Most would consider me trash because of everything I’ve done. Most of the people in the village are scared of me- either that or they hate me, or both. I’ve done terrible things… I’m a filthy person,” Kakashi murmurs as he puts his chopsticks down and pushes his empty plate to the corner of the table for the server to be able to retrieve a little easier. He does the same with his empty water cup. “Aren’t you afraid that I’ll stain you in the end? That I’ll ruin you?”

“Well, Kakashi, I’d rather be considered stained than whatever the alternative is,” Guy shrugs and finishes his food. When the server brings the ticket, Guy places the cash on the table and stands up to stretch while staring down at Kakashi with a grin. “You sure are melodramatic, you know that?”

“Huh… I don’t think I’ve ever been told that one before,” Kakashi replies and stands as well.

Silently, they walk out of the restaurant.

Though Kakashi is perfectly capable of getting to his apartment by himself, for whatever reason, Guy insists on walking him home. It’s not much of a walk from the sushi bar and they manage to make it to Kakashi’s front door by sunset. 

“I will confess…” Kakashi starts, his hand on the doorknob of his room. They’re standing on the welcome mat a little too close to each other and even with as socially inept as Kakashi can be, he can tell that neither of them want this to end- he can feel it in how Guy looks at him and in how his own hard is beating so slowly yet so hard against his chest. “You gave me a wonderful birthday, my friend.”

Guy blushes. Kakashi can’t help but think that the other Jonin is ethereal under this dying sunlight, and fuck. Before he can come to terms with ‘comrade’ becoming ‘good friend’, ‘good friend’ turns into ‘love of my life’. Guy has successfully broken through his walls and shrouded his darkness with infinite light after so many years of trying… And to think all it took was going for dinner. How embarrassing. 

“I’m glad to hear that, Kakashi, but I have to ask,” Almost as if they’re in sync, Guy reaches forward to place a hand on Kakashi’s face. The younger man can feel the warmth of Guy’s palm through the thin cloth of his mask. “Is there anything else you need to make this birthday- say- more than wonderful?”

Guy has been cracking, cracking, cracking away at him since they were kids. Kakashi’s walls- the darkness that has shrouded him in a confined little space of loneliness for so many years- have finally cracked to allow in the light, if only for the rest of the evening. 

“Nothing I need, per say, but I think I should pay you back for today, don’t you?”

“That’s really not necessary, rival-” Guy starts, only to cut himself off and stammer when Kakashi suddenly pulls his mask down to hang loosely around his collar. “W-What?”

“I think our next contest should be us competing against each other to see who’s the best at kissing,” Kakashi says and opens the door to his apartment before dragging Guy inside and shutting it behind them. “What do you say, rival?”

Guy flushes dark red and leans back against the door, but he does manage to wrap his arms around Kakashi’s waist and brush their noses together.

“I’d say you’re on, rival.”

[aeronics]

thank u for the tag @fizzy-watches-dps :)) this is the first time ive been tagged in one of these sorry about the wack formatting it needs to look good to appease my little monkey pea brain top 5 books: lord of the flies, wuthering heights, cant think of any others rn

top 5 shows/movies: dead poets society, midsommar, little miss sunshine, the batman [2022] [are you seeing the paul dano theme yet], there will be blood, dont hug me im scared

fav movie genre: idk the weird slice of life ones that have no point like little miss sunshine or just psychological horror

top fandoms you're in: dead poets society, south park ig, some of the og lets play youtubers (markiplier, jse, etc.), life is strange 1+2, metal family

top fandoms you’d like to join: scp foundation stuff, the welcome home arg

top artists you listen to: abba, ghost, gorillaz, la dispute, crywank, wilbur soot's old music, msi [i dont support their actions at all]

top songs currently: to be alone with you - sufjan stevens, voulez-vous - abba, tous les mêmes - stromae

a song that describes you perfectly: iris - goo goo dolls

top music genres currently: [according to spotify stats] rock, pop, permanent wave, indie, modern rock

favourite music genre: oh god idk uhhhh id just say rock if i had to pick

love language you're most comfortable giving: acts of service

love language you like receiving: physical touch, quality time

favourite aesthetics: liminalcore?? grunge, gross boyish boy things idk how else to word that [maybe transmasc-core]

characters you kin: stephen meeks [dead poets society], kinda charlie dalton [dead poets society], ches [metal family], richard cameron [dead poets society, listen i have my reasons], red guy [dhmis], nathan prescott [lis], max caulfield [lis], dwayne hoover [little miss sunshine], todd anderson [dead poets society], scott tenorman [south park, idc he listens to radiohead too], michael/tall goth [south park]

fav colour and why: grey, nice n neutral and chill or red bc it looks good on everything

interests i would like to talk about: just random obscure facts i have collected [..whales sometimes explode when they die], also the dark web, also morbid history things, also dead poets society and how we were robbed of the deleted scenes, also the 4th dimension, also philosophy and politics

fav animal/s: raccoons, cats, basking sharks

favourite season: summer or winter i can never decide

favourite weather: sunny with a breeze or violent thunder and lightning

sixteen personalities type: intp-t

mtg colour quiz results: planeswalker of the jeskai way, a combination of blue, red, and white apparently

kinda not serious fears: baby birds opening their mouths to be fed [its fucking horrific]

random tags [sry if u have already been tagged!]: @elistudies @springlikesmile @taciturnpoet @pinkobsessedfreak @dpsthinker and anyone else who wants to

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Lydia Deetz

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Lydia after she moved into town. You went to the same school as her and were in a few of her classes, though you doubted that really mattered; you’d find out about her pretty quickly even if she wasn’t.

- Lydia was an ...interesting character. You liked to think of your school as fairly accepting, people weren’t outwardly mean to her; some were even welcoming, but you somewhat understood many peoples hesitance towards befriending her. Above all, she was fairly standoffish though at the time, no one knew why.

- Still, you liked her style. She was strange and unusual, something you admired. So you took the chance and tried to befriend her, approaching her after school and trying to start a conversation as she unlocked her bike. She was polite but quick to end your talk, making up an; obvious, excuse before riding off.

- But you wouldn’t be deterred, continuing your efforts as the days rolled by and eventually getting her to warm up to you. You even managed to invite her out with you, giving her a tour around the town and slowly getting to know her better.

- Over time, you grow to like her more and more until you realize that you don’t just want to be her friend. It’s then that you have a real predicament on your hands, and a decision to make: try to ignore your feelings and hope they go away or confront them and hope for the best.

- It’s a few months into your friendship that you decide to confess your true feelings for her. Unbeknownst to you, she was planning on doing the same.

- You were sitting in the towns graveyard with her, a place you’d been to several times mainly because you knew she loved it. It seemed like the perfect place to tell her how you felt so you took a deep breath and stumbled through your confession. And... she burst out laughing.

- Yeah, so not a good sign. You were completely embarrassed and was wondering whether you could play it off like you were joking. Deciding that you couldn’t, you went to stand up and leave before she lunged forward, grabbing your hand quickly and exclaiming “no, no” as she tried to stop her laughter.

“I’m sorry, really. It’s just that, all day I’ve been wondering how I was gonna tell you that I liked you and, well, here we are.” She smiled, and ushered you to sit back down.

- The two of you had your first date in one of the towns many fields. You brought a basket full of stuff and sat out there for hours, having a picnic and overall just hanging out. She’s got about a dozen photos of the day.

- You had your first kiss at least a week after you first got together. Neither of you were brave enough to just go for it so it took you a while to actually do it.

- When you did, it was after the two of you snuck out together and were taking a late night walk through the town. You were sat on an old wooden fence, the moonlight shining above you as you talked. That was when you turned to look at each other and just began to lean in, inching closer and closer until your lips met.

- And thus began your strange and beautiful relationship.

- The two of you are most likely bambi lesbians; your relationship is fairly innocent and things never really get too hot or heavy. 

- It’s the 80s and you sort of live in a small town so you try to keep your relationship on the down low. Whenever you’re out in public, you try to just act like friends, never doin anything exclusively romantic in nature. 

- Holding hands, locking arms, hugging, sitting very close to each other; you can get away with a lot since you’re young girls but you try not to push your luck. 

- Most of your dates take place where there isnt a lot of; if any, people. She prefers keeping to herself so you wind up just hanging out at her place or places no one really goes, like the graveyard or forgotten roads.

- Pecks on the lips and cheeks.

- Sweet and chaste kisses. 

- Laying your head in her lap while you sit and talk. Occasionally, she’ll run her fingers through or just play with your hair, looking down at you with a soft smile. 

- She’s got soooo many photos of you. She likes to jokingly call you her muse, taking random snapshots while you’re doing something or asking you to pose for her. 

- Horror movie marathons. The two of you have stayed up late countless times, eyes wide and glued to her tv screen as you shovel popcorn into your mouths. 

- Riding your bikes together after school. Sometimes you’ll just ride around town, stopping at some random place you’ve never been to and going exploring together.

- Walks through and picnics in the graveyard. It’s one of her favorite places to visit except when its close to the anniversary of her mothers death. 

- Letting her talk to you about her mother and rant about Delia and her dad. 

- Meeting the Maitland's and her eccentric parents. They all love you and have a feeling that you aren’t “just friends”, not that it really matters to them anyways. Delia is particularly happy with the idea of you two being together, Lesbianism is so avant-garde. 

- Morbid conversations. Want to have an hour long conversation about death? Well, you’ve come to the right girl!

- You’ll never have to worry about getting rid of spiders again for the rest of your life. She’ll just scoop them up in her hand and gently place them outside while you trail hesitantly behind her. 

- Dancing together. 

- Surprisingly enough, she’s quite fond of being bridal carried or getting piggyback rides. 

- Getting to see all of her rare smiles and giggles, most of the time they’re reserved pretty much exclusively for you. 

- She doesn’t really use nicknames/pet names all that much but occasionally she’ll call you the name of a character from a movie or show when you say or do something that reminds her of them. 

- Collecting and pressing flowers with her. You help her swap out and rearrange the ones on her wall every few months. 

- She has a bit of a dramatic streak so occasionally you’ll just have to snap her out of it, either by cheering her up or helping to rationalize a situation.

- She loves rainy days. She likes to invite you over, sit up in her room and just hang out with you while the skies are a dreary gray. She finds the atmosphere very beautiful.

- Her room is perfect for afternoon naps. The two of you head over to her house after school, lock her bedroom door and pull the curtains down before snuggling under her covers and catching a few zzz’s.

- She’ll never admit it out loud but she actually really likes cuddling. You tend to cuddle hugging each other, taking turns having your heads resting against each other’s chests.

- She loves eating dinner or lunch at your house. Delia prepares the weirdest foods for everyone so being able to eat something like a normal turkey sandwich or bowl of soup is a nice change.

- Going to antique and thrift shops. If it looks haunted, she’ll want to buy it.

- Holidays!! She gets all festive around them; especially Halloween, always wanting to decorate and do the usual seasonal activities.

- Letting her style your hair. She finds it really fun and you certainly don’t mind looking a bit unusual.

- Gothic tea parties. Join her on her wooden floor, surrounded by black teddy bears and creepy dolls, eating little sandwiches and drinking tea.

- She likes to write you little poetic letters. Some are purely romantic while others are dreadfully depressing but you love them all the same.

- It’s pretty easy to find her presents; if it’s ugly then she’ll love it.

- Doing little crafts together. She likes artistic stuff, as long as it isn’t weirdly abstract like delias art.

- She tends to stick to compliments about the work that you do or the things you choose to wear. She prefers making you feel good about the stuff that you make not the things you were born with.

- Many people don’t seem to realize it but she’s got a pretty good sense of humor. That, paired with the shenanigans you get yourselves into, ensures that the two of you have a good time together!

- Getting dragged into supernatural and paranormal adventures. If it was her choice, she would probably leave you out of it, but alas, it isn’t.

- Beetlejuice is certainly an interesting individual to meet. Lydia is not fond of him calling you babe though, even if he calls everyone babe.

- She’s never really gets all that jealous. She reasons that you’re with her and if you’re with her, then you most likely like weird people, which you don’t find all that often where you live.

- She’s certainly been through some stuff, especially after moving to town so she’s fairly protective of you. Now that she knows the dead can linger on, she tries to look after you even more.

- She’s somewhat sensitive so she tends to take things to heart even when they’re misunderstandings.

- You dont fight a whole lot but when you do, your arguments wind up turning into catty yelling fights. One of you will usually storm out, throwing a “fine” or something of the sort out before you go.

- The two of you will give each other the silent treatment for a while but you’ll most likely be miserable the entire time. She’ll cave a little sooner than you will, finding you at school somewhere or being let in by your mom and just showing up at your bedroom door shyly. You both usually have a hard time staying mad at each other, once either of you apologize.

- She gives you a “love you” everytime you say goodbye. It’s pretty much routine by now.

- She doesn’t realize it for a while but ever since she met you, she hasn’t thought about dying. In fact, now that she has you, she can’t even bear to imagine it. She wouldn’t want to leave you behind, she loves you.

- Her one goal in life is to be the woman that historians say “lived with her lifelong best friend, never marrying or having children but writing letters to each other about loving each other fiercely”.

[jamilelucato]

If I Could Tell Her [G.W.]

Pairing: George Weasley x Slytherin!Diggory!reader

Summary: Based on the song If I Could Tell her from the musical Dear Evan Hansen; Cedric’s younger sister mourners her brother and George tries to comfort her.

Musical Hogwarts || Hogwarts Masterlist

A/N: It’s a sad fluffy fic that I can promise will have a part 2 and a 3! it’s all planned out — it depends on how many people will want it.

Words: 1.900+

whole series here

*gif not mine

You were standing next to the monument some Hufflepuffs had put on for your brother. Your seventh year at Hogwarts had only just begun, but you felt like you should be already home.

Cedric Diggory Forever a hero; forever missed.

The writing made sense — your brother was the hero type, probably why he died defending Harry Potter. Some students had left some flowers around the marble plate, appearing to be a tombstone, which made no sense, since he was buried next to your house back at Ottery St Catchpole in Devon, England.

It was weird missing Cedric because you two had never been close. He was one year older, but that was not the reason — when you finally came to Hogwarts, you got sorted to Slytherin, which only proved how much different Cedric and you were. Total opposites. Besides, he was the family’s favourite, the family’s golden boy. You were just the other one.

“He thought you were awesome,” you heard a voice say from behind.

It kinda scared you, but thankfully, you didn’t jump. You turned around; George Weasley starred down at the fake tombstone as if he was reading it and not talking to you.

George was a beautiful boy you knew since a baby. He and his family lived in the same region as you, so more times than often, you two had to sit through dinners together, but there was no more to it.

From all the seven children that Mr and Mrs Weasley had, the closest to you was Ginny, who generally visited you when back at home. But, during school times, many of them just ignored you.

They were, after all, perfect Gryffindors who had a reputation to protect.

So, yeah, having George talking to you while next to the tribute to your brother was rather odd.

He finally looked at you.

“He thought I was awesome? My brother?” you asked, unable to say anything else. The Weasley boys were closer to Cedric then you — they shared such a passion for Quidditch that, although you also played the sport, your passion could never be compared — but it was weird that Cedric could’ve mentioned you to any of them.

“Definitely!” George affirmed, enthusiastically. Something about you being sceptical made him wonder that maybe you and your brother weren’t that close.

“How?”

“Well...” George coughed, trying to get some extra time to think about what to say. You were right about being suspicious — Cedric had never mentioned you to George or his older brothers.

That didn’t mean, however, that he didn’t know unique things about you.

In fact, George paid attention to you every time he could. Something about your voice, your hair, your eyes... he couldn’t point out exactly what but you always got his attention.

As a kid, he thought that maybe at Hogwarts, you two would be close — but then you got into Slytherin, and later on, you became a beater. The same position as him, yes, but you couldn’t be farther to him than before.

He saw that you were still waiting for him to explain what Cedric thought about his little sister. He gulped.

“He said there’s nothing like your smile — sort of subtle and perfect and real,” George said, his voice a bit shaky. You seemed not to notice; focusing on the new information, George could be spitting on you that you wouldn’t care. “He said you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel.”

It was nice listening to Goerge talk. He had a calm voice, way different from his brothers. Even Fred, who was his twin, had a different tone — always loud, never gentle. George seemed to be the most patient of the family — probably because he lives in the shadows of six siblings.

You knew how hard could be living under someone shadows — you loved Cedric, you missed Cedric, but even now that he was gone, his shadow was still there over you.

“And he knew,” George continued, soaking in the sudden courage, “whenever you get bored, you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans.”

With wide eyes, you gaped at him. You didn’t think someone could’ve noticed that.

“And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines,” when George mentioned that old habit of yours, you almost laughed.

George knew about the magazines because of many dinner nights at the Diggorys when he had to fetch Ginny from y/N’s room. He thought it was a cute habit of yours.

“But he kept it all inside his head,” he added, noticing you were about to ask why Cedric never said those things. “What he saw he left unsaid.”

You looked away from the red-haired’s empathetic face and stared for the last time at the tribute. You needed to put an end to it— you had already grieved over the summer, and you did not want to turn into your parents who appeared unable to get over it.

“And though he wanted to, he couldn’t talk to you; he couldn’t find the way,” George went on. His gesture made you emotional — none of Cedric’s friends seemed so committed to showing you how great your brother was. “But he would always say ‘if I could tell her everything I see’.”

George was rambling and he knew it. There was a reason why he avoided talking to you — you made him nervous. And right at that moment, he was almost passing out. You were interested, and he was lying to your face. Cedric didn’t talk much to him or Fred — he preferred Percy — but even so, George doubted he could’ve mentioned y/N.

“‘If I could tell her how she’s everything to me’,” George sighed. He should stop rambling and free you from him. “‘But we’re a million worlds apart, and I don’t know how I would even start’.”

That new information you had just heard filled your heart with hope. Perhaps Cedric did like you. Perhaps he tried to be closer, but he just didn’t know how to. It wasn’t like you made it easy — you avoided him at all costs.

“Did he say anything else?” you asked, with hope in your eyes.

George raised his brows, “A—about you?”

Oh, that was it. Cedric talked about you but not that much. What were you thinking? That he spend whole afternoons with the Weasleys telling them how much special his sister was?

You started walking away from the fake tombstone, leaving George behind. “Never mind, I don’t really care anyways—”

“No, no, no—just, no, no—he said—” George gulped; he needed to organize his thoughts and fast. “He said so many things; I’m just—I’m trying to remember the best ones. So, um—”

You slowed down, letting George follow you around the school.

The tribute was just a walk away from the Courtyard; a couple more steps and you’d be hearing the students.

“He thought you looked really pretty, er—” George stopped right away. What was he thinking?? Brothers don’t say their sisters are pretty! “It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair,” he corrected himself, hoping you wouldn’t have noticed.

That caught you by surprise, making you stop at your tracks. Those indigo streaks were horrible! It was a blessing you did it in the summer, so it had time to dye out in time for school. But if Cedric thought they were cool...

“He did?”

George smiled. So you didn’t notice him reformulating the phrase.

He was losing you again — you fastened your steps. He started thinking what to say next and then he remembered when he saw you at the Yule Ball with Blaise Zabini.

“And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn’t there,” he said, staring at you just so he could see you blush. And you did. “But he kept it all inside his head; what he saw he left unsaid.”

“I should’ve...” you gulped, “I should’ve said something.”

George pulled his brows together. “If he could tell you... I’m sure he wanted to.”

You tilted your head, unconsciously, and kept walking. You couldn’t turn back time. It was your fault, and you knew. Merlin, probably even George knew it by now.

“You were everything to him,” Goerge stopped you, holding your pulse. You looked down at his touch — it felt like being electrocuted.

Not by lightning because that would’ve hurt but like touching something you shouldn’t. It was different but welcomed.

“But we’re a million worlds apart,” you sighed when George finally let go of you.

You didn’t want to look at him. He was gentle, patient, but he didn’t understand. He and his family were together all the time; they were close, they were friends. You and Cedric were never like that.

Besides, George said it himself — Cedric wanted to be close. But you, you never wanted Cedric’s “pity”.

“He wondered...” George went on. It was enjoyable talking to you, even if it was about something so morbid. You two used to talk as kids and George had forgotten how delightful it was. “But what do you do when there’s this great divide?”

George reached for his mouth, covering it with his hand. What was he doing? That was too much. He had already pointed out things about you that Cedric probably never knew, but now he wasn’t even trying to pretend those were Cedric’s words.

Thankfully, you weren’t looking. Your eyes wandered at the group of Hufflepuffs standing next to a pillar. If you didn’t overthink it, you could still see Cedric there.

“He just seemed so far away,” you muttered.

“And what do you do when the distance is too wide?” George had accepted he was screwed — he was only waiting for you to be mad at him.

“It’s like I don’t know anything,” you said, waving your hand in  Cho’s direction, who was passing by with some books close to her chest. She waved back, with a weak smile. You knew she was in pain too, but it was ironic because, before your brother died, you had no idea they were dating. Being honest, you didn’t even know who she was— shame on you for that.

“And how do you say ‘I love you’?”

George panicked when you turned your head at him. He had crossed the line, and you knew it.

Except you didn’t. You looked at George with a sad smile, thinking George was right. Even though you gave your brother the cold shoulder, he still loved you. He died loving you.

“But we were a million worlds apart, and I didn’t know how I could’ve even started,” you sighed. “I wish I could tell Cedric I love him too.”

George gave you a sad smile. “ He knows.”

You reached for George’s hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Thank you, George,” you said. “This talk... I didn’t know I needed it, but thank you.”

George blushed and didn’t have time to react when you got on tiptoes — Merlin, do the Weasleys’ kids ever stop growing?— and kissed his cheek. If he wasn’t red before, he sure was now.

“See you around, George.”

He watched you walking away, still unable to react with what just happened.

Fred reached his twin sneakily.

“Lost her again, huh?”

George finally moved, staring at his twin. “I can’t say it now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Fred pressed his lips together. “But don’t take this as an excuse. Take your time, but please, hit on her.”

George rolled his eyes — his twin was never the romantic gentleman.

“Or I will,” Fred added, trying to provoke his brother. It worked — George punched him in the arm.

“I’d like to see you try,” George said with a smirk and walked away.

[xjoonchildx]

Ana, I hope you’re doing well. February was a tough month for me, and left me feeling a little blue, but I’m so glad it’s over and I’m feeling much better now that it’s March (where does the time go??!). I know we talked about Jimin’s snaggletooth and Jin’s worldwide proportions, but today is actually like to talk about the one and only, Jeon Jungkook (and his bunny smile 🐰)

Facial analysis and profile: I think Jungkook has a tapered face shape. Sometimes he can have the most adorable chubby cheeks and other times he can look like a literal incubus demon (like you, I’m addicted to fanfic)! So there may be two reasons for Jungkook’s adorable chubby cheeked appearance: either an overgrowth of his masseter muscle that sits on the front of your jaw, or an pronounced buccal fat pad (buccal is just a fancy term for cheek). His symmetry is really on point, and you can tell his face is very proportional, especially in profile view (again the lender of another abnormally sharp jawline)! The point I really wanted to hit on was that Jungkook has so many adorable moles on his face (the scientific term for a mole is a nevus), and it was just interesting to me because at my school, they teach us to screen moles for signs of skin cancer at every visit (sorry that turned morbid so fast)

Nose 👃🏽, lips👄, and chin 🗣: Jungkook’s nasolabial angle is almost perfectly 90 degrees, which indicates good upper lip support. His labiomental groove is also very defined, indicating he has a prominent chin! I think Jungkook also has nice lips (is that weird to say)? His Cupid’s bow is so defined (the guy wears lipstick better than I do! 😍

Tooth and smile analysis: okay this is my favorite feature on him!! I love his bunny teeth with all my heart. They lend him such a useful appearance (bc he’s bangtan’s baby 🥺) Fun fact, I learned recently that rabbits teeth differ from humans in that they never fully mature and continue to keep regenerating throughout their lifetime (meanwhile once human teeth are gone, they’re gone.) Bunny teeth, or buck teeth in general, are caused by a condition called overbite. This could be because the top jaw is more far forward than the lower jaw, but I think in JK’s case, his front teeth are tipped and just have a different inclination! This can be corrected by Invisalign if you don’t like it (not every case though)! I would say Jungkook’s smile arc is flatter than the other boys, meaning that it doesn’t follow the contours of his lower lip, it’s just a straight line. However, his smile is no less stunning, esp when those dimples pop (that zygomaticus major muscle tho)!!

That’s all she wrote for now,

Toothie 🦷

okay first of all sweet 🦷 i don’t know who’s giving you a hard time lately but you send them direct to me and i will STRAIGHTEN THEM OUT OKAY 💪🏽

phew. now that that’s out of the way and now that i know you’re having a better month welcome to min march things can only go up from here.

let’s talk about the golden maknae and his otherworldly good looks and perfect teeth.  

Jungkook’s adorable chubby cheeked appearance: either an overgrowth of his masseter muscle that sits on the front of your jaw, or an pronounced buccal fat pad

forgive me for getting immediately overexcited about the word “masseter” lol. much to my surprise, it has nothing to do with body parts below the belt.  however if it’s responsible for his adorable, chubby (FACE ANA FACE) cheeks then i’m happy for them.

the scientific term for a mole is a nevus

someday we’ll talk about the nevus on hoseok’s lip. someday.

Jungkook’s nasolabial angle is almost perfectly 90 degrees, which indicates good upper lip support. His labiomental groove is also very defined, indicating he has a prominent chin! I think Jungkook also has nice lips (is that weird to say)? His Cupid’s bow is so defined (the guy wears lipstick better than I do! 😍

okay, a couple of things stick out to me about this particular part of the analysis: “almost perfectly 90 degrees” is such a JK accomplishment, right? but OF COURSE his angles would be almost perfect. you also noted his very defined (FACE ANA FACE) labiomental groove, which makes for that perfectly chiseled chin.  also it is never ever ever weird to say jungkook has nice lips facts are just facts 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Bunny teeth, or buck teeth in general, are caused by a condition called overbite. This could be because the top jaw is more far forward than the lower jaw, but I think in JK’s case, his front teeth are tipped and just have a different inclination! 

also i think you’re right about JK’s tipped teeth. they do seem angled and the effect is so endearing.  all of these features coming together for the perfect smile.

thank you so much sweet 🦷 💗💗💗 

tell everyone not to mess with you OR ELSE.

[zaph1337]

Monster Hunter Rating 14: Basarios, the Bellowing Boulder

I said at the end of the Vespoid post that I truly believe this has to be a more interesting monster. Why? Because it’s a Main Monster! If you don’t remember, “Main Monster” was my designation for the big monsters that have entire missions revolving around killing just one of them. They’re the monsters the games are built around, so if this one isn’t more interesting than small fries like the Vespoids, then it’s probably not doing its job very well. Let’s give a big welcome to Basarios!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Rise)

Appearance: It’s very easy to see that Basarios is a dragon made from stone. It looks like something a mountain would form on top of, and it even has a small mass of rock on its back that resembles a mountain! Its head is...kinda creepy, if I’m being honest. It looks like a stone skull with beady yellow eyes, and for some reason it has human teeth. They could have given it stalactites and stalagmites for teeth and make it look like its mouth is a cave, but nope! That might not give kids nightmares, so obviously it’s an inferior design.

Okay, I make it sound like I hate Basarios’ face, but I think it’s fine. I just don’t get why they thought that a rock dragon needed to have such a scary face. Anyways, Basarios’ wings look like they’re made from cracked rocks, and the membranes look like sand. This kinda gives me the impression that the sand came from those cracked rocks, like the wind started sweeping over them and wearing them down before time stopped around them, freezing the sand in place as a membrane. Of course, that’s not what actually happened, but it still looks cool. It’s hard to see on the Rise render, but I like how Basarios’ underside looks more like a typical dragon’s would despite still appearing to be made of stone. It shows us that this thing may look like it was carved from rock, but it’s still a living creature. All in all, Basarios’ design accomplishes exactly what it was intended to, and it looks pretty good doing it. 7/10.

Behavior: Despite being close to 40 feet from head to tail at their smallest, Basarios are actually only juveniles; their adult forms are called Gravios, and I’ll talk about them soon enough. A Basarios only spends a short time after birth with its mother before setting out on its own...and by that, I mean that their mothers straight up abandon them and leave them to fend for themselves. Coincidentally, Basarios do not have a concept of “Mother’s Day” (or any other holiday, really). They use the claws on their wings to burrow partially underground to use their rocky backs as camouflage while they sleep, but they still tend to stand out because their backs are often a different color from the rocks around them, or because they sometimes hide right in the middle of the area they’re in. Hey, you work with what you’ve got.

Basarios mainly feed on minerals and ores, so they often live in volcanic regions and deserts, though they’ve also been seen in forests and swamps. But everybody needs protein in their diet, so they’re also ambush predators that snack on Herbivores, Neopterons, and sometimes even miners, if they aren’t paying attention to how out-of-place the Basarios’ carapace is. Honestly, I feel kinda bad for these guys; they’re ditched by their parents when they’re babies and their camouflage is subpar. I guess they have to stand out in the games for players to avoid being caught off guard, and the idea of finding a camouflaged monster to fight is pretty cool, so 6/10.

Abilities: As you’d expect from a Main Monster. Basarios have quite a few tricks up their sleeves. Ramming attacks are standard fare, and they can fly for a short time, but they can also spit out fireballs and “lava beams,” according to the wiki. Don’t know how that works or what it looks like, but sure. The thing that you might not have expected from Basarios is the fact that they can expel gases from the pores on their undersides. These gases can be poisonous, sleep-inducing, or on rare occasions a fiery plume. And here’s the gross part: the gases are what’s left of the Basarios’ past meals, so you’re basically getting hit by a fart. Not what I expected from a rock dragon, but sure. There’s also a “Hard Core” variation of Basarios in Monster Hunter Frontier Online that has stronger flame and poison sacks than normal, allowing them to use more powerful moves, but it’s not something I’m gonna talk about in its own rating. As for the regular Basarios, the only thing in the abilities department that really separates them from a normal dragon is the gas attack and maybe the lava beam, depending on what that actually is. Still, you probably wouldn’t expect those things, or the ability to fly, from a dragon made of rock. 7/10.

Equipment: As you’d expect, the Basarios weapons all look rocky, but some of them also have blue highlights breaking up the grey. An example is the Gigant Makra, a Long Sword you can make in Rise:

It’s weird that blue is the color they went for for these weapons, but I only think that because there are blue eye-like specks on several weapons, such as this Hammer known in several games as the Basarios Blow, when Basarios have yellow eyes. It’s especially weird here, ‘cause, uh...

Okay, so obviously, having a Basarios’ head as the hammerhead is morbid, but what I wanna know is, why are the bindings spiked, and why is one covering the head’s mouth? There’s a joke there I don’t want to make. To close off the weapons and move to the armor, here’s a picture of the Basarios Rock, the Hunting Horn you use in the demo of Monster Hunter Rise, and the Basarios Armor set which you wear when using the Basarios Rock in the demo:

Y’know, when I first saw this, I thought it was the standard model of Hunting Horn because of how plain it looked from afar, but it actually looks pretty cool. I like the blue “eyes” and how the neck of the Horn is blue, though I question why there’s a barrel coming out the body (not that other Horns don’t have one, it’s just the most obvious here). And here’s the armor set itself (it’s from Generations Ultimate, though; I couldn’t find a good picture of the Basarios Armor from Rise):

The Basarios Armor is clearly meant to emulate a medieval knight, and I’ll give the designers credit for not giving the female armor the stereotypical and dangerous breast plate that far too many people think women who are knights should wear. I also like how the armor has blue specks here and there, which are especially visible on the shoulder...pads? I don’t think anything made of rock can qualify as a “pad,” but I don’t know what else to call them. This design is cooler than a standard suit of armor, but it’s still pretty close to looking like one (mostly because of the helmet). The equipment as a whole gets a 7/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: Basarios is a good monster to start us off on the Main Monsters, ‘cause it’s plain enough to be almost average while also showing us the kind of crazy things we can expect from here on. It’s also surprisingly memorable thanks to its creepy face and weird attacks, and its equipment is also pretty cool. If I wasn’t rounding all of these final scores down it’d be a 7, but because I am, it’s a 6/10.

[michellemagic]

WMMAP Prompts: Bookstore

@athy-n-lucas I did another one of your prompts. Thanks to Ariadna from the discord for giving my a book title and @nights-of-fire because you’re great. This was my 5am, no sleep writing child. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Diana runs a bookstore and a mysterious blonde man walks in one day.

WARNING: No beta, really have no idea what I wrote here but I did my best.

Diana was young when she fell in love with books. There was something about them. May it be the aged pages of a grand fairy tale or a crisp copy of the newest romance. Something about them spoke to the young woman and it got to the point where reading was all she wanted to do. Her love for books ended up playing a big part in her decision to drop her dreams of being a professional dancer and take up shop in her hometown’s small bookstore.  

Sure, bookstores weren’t very popular nowadays, people had the internet, but she didn’t have the book store for money. She had the bookstore because it called to her, something about the quiet peace that books brought. It spoke to her and she couldn’t help but listen. Books had given her so much over the years and she would never have the heart to leave her bookstore.

Not to mention the people her bookstore brought to her.

There were people like Lily, who seemed to have the same open hearted love of books that Diana herself had. The same love that led to Lily becoming Diana’s one and once store clerk and her sweet best friend.

Kind souls like Felix, who came one day out of the blue and found himself returning every now and again. Of course, the way he always took glances at Lily spoke that there was a double meaning of being in her store, but Felix seemed to be as sweet guy. So whether or not something happened with them Diana was sure it’d turn out ok.

Even the occasional passerby, the one’s that found her store by chance, always left an impression.

…

It was one of the rare days that Lily was off. Apparently her friend had plans today with Felix, and if the looks that Lily seem to start giving Felix said anything well- Diana had high hopes.

It also meant today would probably be a quiet day. Her little store never really got much foot traffic unless some big release was coming and without Lily to chat with that meant Diana wasn’t likely to make much conversation. That was fine with her, people were nice but being about to take time for herself and read was even nicer. 

Deciding to read a new book that just came in Diana couldn’t help but deflated slightly when she heard the door open. Oh well, one person would be quick to deal with, then she could go and read. Looking up to see who entered, Diana was slightly startled to see a tall blonde man and not one of her regulars. He looked around the store halfheartedly before finally looking at her. His eyes were very pretty she allowed herself to think Like blue jewels. For some reason the blonde man seem to freeze up at the sight of her, as if her very existence offended him. But then the look was gone, the man’s eyes went cold and he seemed to decide to completely ignore whatever just transpired. Which was a new reaction for her.

Well weird looks or not, the man walked in which meant he was a costumer. Putting on her best store owner smile, Diana started, “Hello. Welcome in, feel free to look around and let me know if you need any help.”

The man said nothing. He didn’t even nod. He just walked straight past her to the closest shelf of books. Which was rude, but fair. Diana wasn’t so simpleminded that she thought everyone could be happy all the time. Yes, being ignored so obviously was annoying and slightly hurtful but she’s dealt with far worse. 

“If you’re looking for a copy of Lovely Princess I think I may have a copy or two in the back,” It wouldn’t be the first time someone wandered all the way to her store for the book. The story of the lovely princess, Jennette, was very popular nowadays and while Diana read it and didn’t see the appeal, it sold well and having copies on hand was always a good idea.

Finally acknowledging her, the man grumbled, “I don’t need it.”

He speaks! Diana smiled brighter at his response,” Ah, not a fan?”

“No.”

Diana felt goosebumps at his cold tone. How do you converse with a living statue? “Hey, I’m not judging. I’m not the biggest fan of Lovely Princess myself.”

“Really?” He finally looked at her again, his tone was now unbelieving. “You... seem like the type.”

“Well you know what they say. Can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” And Diana hated herself, a book joke and such a cliche. Goodness she was losing her touch.

The stranger seemed as unimpressed as Diana herself was, turning back to the closest book shelf. Well, at least she learned that jokes were a no go.

“Is there anything I can help you find then?”

He was ignoring her again. Great. Well, at least she could say she tried. 

“I’ll leave you alone for now. I’ll be upfront if you need anything. Enjoy your search sir” 

That got his attention back on her. Shoot, abort abort.

“You don’t… know who I am?” He trailed off as if unsure why this woman who he’s never met before didn’t know him.

Diana felt slightly unimpressed, “Is this an I’m a rich person how can you not know me moment? Because if it is, I’m sorry I really don’t keep up with the news.”

“Of course not. We’ve never met before, why would you know me.” His words sounded bitter, like her not knowing who he was was some great disservice. Maybe Diana would have been better off just letting him ignore her. He walked over to where Diana was sitting as his eyes shifted to the counter, zeroing in on something by her hand, “That book…”

Her eyes followed to where he was looking and she let herself breathe again. Diana brightened at the book title she saw, ”It’s one of my favorites.”

Red Rose, it was the less popular spin off sequel to Lovely Princess. Which was honestly surprising considering how popular the first book was. It was probably due to the protagonist being Princess Athanasia de Alger Obelia. The spin off began the day Athanasia was put to death. The story followed her waking up after death in the body of her 3 year old self due to some act of magic or fate. It first it seemed like the plot of the book would only be her trying to avoid death but the book took an early twist when Athanasia learns that the time travel had a second effect. It awoke the grand magician of the tower, Lucas, who immediately took interest in the princess due to the large magic energy surrounding her as an effect of time travel. From there the story followed both Athanasia and Lucas as they tried to complete their goals, Athanasia trying to avoid Claude and death and Lucas trying to regain his magic. Like in the original, Lovely Princess, Jennette comes to live in the palace but Athanasia avoids her this time around, deciding to spend more time with Lucas instead. The book’s climax ended up being the King still finding some way to try and blame Athanasia for some absurd crime, an act to try and kill her off. Lucas seeing the princess he’s grown so found of threatened, cursed the cruel King and took Princess Athanasia for his own. The last chapter was from Jennette’s point of view on what life was like after Athanasia and Lucas disappeared. The princess lamented on not being able to create a close bond with her half sister, the only keepsake of Athanasia she had being a single red rose.

The book was bittersweet.

“I thought you weren’t of fan”

“Of Lovely Princess? No, I’m not. I did enjoy Red Rose much more than it’s source material.”

“Not a fan of Jennette’s?”

“Not at all, Lovely Princess was too bleh for me,” Diana shrugged, “Call me an Athanasia Apologist but I don’t like how the story handled the poor girl. Life was really against her.”

Honestly, Diana couldn’t understand the hate Athanasia was given. Sure, she saw the appeal in a lovely girl like Jennette but at the end of the day she had all of life’s wonders handed to her while Athanasia did everything she could to gain the same acceptance but failed every time. To Diana, Athanasia was much easier to find lovable, and she couldn’t help but fall for the young girl and her rather morbid storyline. 

“I know a lot of people hate her, and I’m not judging her if you do-,” He was quick to cut her off this time.

“No, I could never hate Athanasia,” His voice was firm, like his answer was a fact of life and not his opinion of a random book character. 

“The king was an idiot for letting such a treasure go. For hurting her.” His voice was dark, “Athanasia is to good for such a man like him.”

Diana felt stunned. She was glad she found someone who didn’t hate Athanasia but the way he talked about her. Like she was a real person who’s actions and experiences existed. His hate sounded personal, as if the King was insulting him personally with his awful treatment of the princess. That wasn’t normal, and yet… Diana had felt the same way. It’s why Red Rose spoke to her so much, all of Lovely Princess her focus had been on Athanasia to the point where she’d skip chapters to get straight to the princess’ appearances. She didn’t know why the character effected her so much but it did. When the king put Athanasia to death, Diana felt a burning rage within her. When Athanasia cried, Diana felt the urge to cry right along side her. She felt emotions for Athanasia that she had never felt for any other book character before. And this man in front of her seemed to feel the same way she did. Maybe that’s why fate led him to her bookstore.

“Here.” She offered the book to him, “Take it. “

He blinked at her, suddenly baffled. “You… said it was your favorite.”

“It is,” Diana agreed easily, she’d let his rude behavior slide for today, “and I have at least 5 copies of it. I know you probably have your own but think of it as a gift. From one Athanasia lover to another, we’re a race that’s very hard to come by.”

Hesitating slightly, she added, “I hope it helps you find what you’re looking for.”

The man seemed conflicted by this, his eyes flickering once more before he finally grabbed the book. He cradled it in his hand like it was something precious. Looking at the slightly worn, but well taken care of book like it held the secrets to life. He hesitated, seemly wanting to say something before he decidedly turned away. Hand on the door knob, the wanderer turned to her once more. His expression didn’t shift at all from the blank slate he schooled it into but he seemed to hesitate. Diana waited, after all that just happened she could be patience. After a period of silence he finally spoke.

“Thank you.”

And with that he walked out. 

…

Sometimes her store brought in the most interesting people, and you can call her crazy but she’d bet that wandering blonde man would find himself back at her little slice of heaven in no time. He still had to tell her his name after all.

[datawyrms]

hey so do you think you could write stuff about danny and dani being cousins and maybe him visiting the ghost zone to go see her and nocturn cuz the one that mentioned that was super cool

You bet! Sorry I took awhile, I’ve been juggling things and flicking between ideas and not finishing anything :v It’s short and doesn’t go very far but hey just something to maybe expand on later, yeah? (oh look i slapped it on AO3!)

”I have no idea how you stay over here so long.” Danny shuddered, trying to ignore how green everything was. The sky should be blue, not some endless green expanse.

“Stealing to eat is a pain cuz. I don’t get why you’re always over there!” Dani rolled her eyes as she glanced at her trailing friend. “I know you like flying as much as I do and you spend most of the time pretending you can’t.”

“It’s not that hard to fly if I want to,” his shrug was dismissive, but he couldn’t keep the frown from his face. “I just don't get why you don’t just hang around the Far Frozen if you like being in the Ghost Zone.” Well, it was more ‘why can’t you hang around ghosts that HAVEN’T tried taking over the world’, but the last time he’d phrased it like that, Dani had kicked him.

“Not all of us have ice powers!”

“Uh. You totally do. Or should eventually, I guess.”

She seemed to appreciate he didn’t bother voicing the obvious, slowing down so they didn’t need to keep hollering at one another. “Nope. Frostbite didn’t seem to think so when I asked.”

“Really? Huh. Your ghost sense is like mine though isn’t it?”

“Don’t ask me, I’m just listening to big, smart and fuzzy. Just means I can get something way better than ectoblasts but Blue.”

Well when she made it that easy… “Nothing cooler though!” Ducking the hurled ectoblast was easy enough, she’d aimed a bit high.

“Looks like my power is shooting people who make bad jokes.”

“So saying to chill out would-” he broke off laughing as she tackled him at full speed, sending the two half ghosts in a barely controlled spiral. 

Still, the clone had joined in the laughing by the time the two managed to steady themselves again. “You’re awful.”

“I get too much practice.”

“No kidding. You’ve sent how many ghosts back here this week? Eight?”

“Try twenty and you’ll be getting close,” his amusement faded. He really, really should be getting back. Yet he’d promised to at least try visiting sometimes, so he had to at least get to the place. Even if every bit of him was wanting to get back to Amity already now that he was thinking about it.

“Whoops. Sorry cuz, forgot you’re reallll territorial sometimes.” Dani elbowed him, forcing Danny out of his own thoughts.

“I am not!” His denial was a bit more forceful than he’d like to admit. “You just reminded me how many ghosts might hold a grudge this week.”

“Uhhuh. Since you know we’ve been attacked so often today.” the smaller ghost paused as if she needed a moment to count. “ All zero times! The horror.”

“Real funny. Don’t you feel weird over here?” he caught her eyes, a little confused to see a complete lack of understanding. “You know...that feeling? That we don’t belong over here? That little pulsing at the back of your head?”

Her blank stare answered that well enough. “Noooope. I don’t know if that’s a ‘you’re a territorial nutcase’ or a ‘you’re a corpse stuffed with ectoplasm’ thing.”

“One, no I’m not, and two EW? Gross!” he gagged, fighting off the urge to shudder. “Someone call you that as an insult or something?”

“Mhm, Kitty was trying to explain why humans are kinda weird.” she gave a little shrug. “So we’re even weirder. Though I totally melted so I’m probably not lugging a corpse around all the time, but you might be!”

“Yup, that’s it, you spend wayyyy too much time around ghosts.” He had not expected to get a new nightmare from Dani nowadays, she’d given him plenty already. Yet life was apparently full of surprises. 

“Or you don’t spend enough time around em.”

“No, pretty sure you crossed from morbid to just disgusting there.”

“Hey, if you really want to creep someone out just crack your knuckles at em. Get a shudder out of any ghost that can’t get over to the human world, guaranteed” 

“I’m not really big into the scaring people thing.” The fact Dani was still made part of him twinge in discomfort. She was her own person, obviously. It should be a good thing that they were different in more ways as time passed...

“Pft. You’re such a human cuz” she gave him a nudge before shooting forward “Almost there! Don’t shoot at a sleepwalker if it surprises you!”

“I won’t,” he muttered, already more alert for any movement.

He didn’t really expect Nocturn’s lair to seem so inviting. He’d been expecting the dull wasteland that he’d seen back when they’d fought, dark skies, ominous towers, that sort of thing. A hazy sort of garden lit by gently swilling lights had not gotten on his list of possibilities. Even the clouds seemed to be dotted with stars now that he was close enough to see them. The tower nearby didn’t seem dangerous with the surroundings feeling so peaceful. Though that was probably a trap, all of Nocturn’s power was tied up in sleep. Getting an enemy fired up and wide awake would just make him have a harder time, wouldn’t it?

“Hmmm. I thought he’d be outside.” Dani crossed her arms, glancing at some of the nearby trees.

“I’m mostly here to see you anyway.”

“Which is why you need to see him! Otherwise you’re just gonna keep grumping about how I’m being corrupted or something.”

He’d like to deny that, but the lie would be pretty obvious. “He has better taste in lairs than takeover plans, at least.”

“There’s a place inside that has a way to see the real stars! The ones out here are nice too though.” Dani brightened at his admission, a little more animated as she pointed out the scattered ‘stardust’ clouds.

“Is that why you stay around here then?”

“That, and no nightmares. Noc can just cut them off before they start if I’m nearby.” she paused, kicking her feet. “It’s really, really nice not having to remember him every time I go to sleep.”

Well, Nocturn couldn’t be all bad if he’d help his poor clone with that. He’d be pretty tempted by a ‘no more nightmare reminders’ offer. “I bet.”

“You still think he’s up to something, don’t you.” her frown burrowed into him so he had to glance away.

“I can’t help it! We didn’t really meet on good terms.” Maybe he was being unfair, but the uncomfortable feeling he always had in the ghost zone combined with that bad history was making him jumpy.

“Do you think I’d lead you into a trap?”

“What? No!”

“Well I’m the one who invited you!”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t plan something behind your back.”

Dani let out a frustrated groan. “He won’t! You don’t mess with family cuz.”

Danny’s retort died in his throat as Nocturn seemed to melt into visibility behind the smaller half ghost, struggling with the impulse to shove Dani out of the way to protect her.

“Sorry Dani, I was distracted by a particularly interesting set of dreams, I’ll have to show you. I think you’d enjoy them.” Nocturn seemed to have no such difficulties, speaking easily and giving her a warm smile. “Did you fly far?”

“You bet!” she nodded before glancing back. “Brought someone back while I was at it.”

Danny’s pulse quickened when the lanky ghost finally took notice of him. Had he really just...not noticed he was right there?

“Ah, your wayward cousin.” the dream ghost gave a small nod. “I expect you had an uneventful trip then?”

“Yeah, sorry if you were expecting any gossip.”

“A safe trip is the best news you could deliver regardless.” he messed with her hair, earning a hug before she pulled away.

“Nuh uh, you’re a total snoop Noc.”

Maybe he’d been a bit of a jerk for expecting something worse. They just seemed...happy. Really he just felt like he was intruding at the moment.

“Only while people sleep.” there was a hint of a laugh, but when his red eyes caught Danny again it died out. “Is there an occasion for the visit?”

Dani rolled her eyes, glancing back at Danny and his stiff posture. “Trying to get someone to relax already. Sheesh cuz, your brick wall impression is great.”

“Sorry,” he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. The first impulse that he had to protect his clone had passed with the two ghosts interacting in a friendly matter, but he couldn’t quite dismiss Nocturn as a potential threat.

“Don’t be. I am aware our previous meeting made an unfavourable impression.” No apology for the attack was in those words. That, and Dani had made it pretty clear he wouldn’t be getting one either. How did ghosts just think that putting  people at risk was no big deal?

“That’s an understatement.” Dani’s scowl at his words only earned her one of his own back. “I had to use Dash as a weapon of mass destruction. It wasn’t a good day, okay?”

“Yeah, but we’re not even close to Amity and you’re still being tetchy.”

“Don’t be so hard on your cousin, Dani. He wouldn’t have made it this long without that kind of caution.”

He hadn’t really expected Nocturn to come to his defense. Great, now he felt like even more of a jerk for still wanting to punch the ghost in the face. “Uhh. Thanks?”

“I guess. Should we hold off on exploring more till another time then?” She was looking at both of them now. 

“...Yeah. I should be getting back.” Admitting it made the guilt worse, but the itching need to be away and back to his home made the idea of staying any longer sound like torture. Even if there’d be an accurate set of stars to look at.

“You are welcome at any time, though Dani does tend to roam. Safe travels.” There was no judgement from the older ghost, only a sort of understanding look.

This ghost of all people knowing how he felt better than himself was disquieting. He settled for a stiff nod before turning to take flight at his top speed. The sooner all that was behind him the better. Questioning how his feelings towards the whole situation might be more his ghost half than human half talking just wasn’t something he wanted to be thinking about right now. Later maybe, when he wasn’t this on edge.

[make-it-mavis]

Homesick (Entry #20)

01/07/88  11:56 PM

Hey.

That first night was rough.

The following six would not be much better.

Honestly, most of my time spent in the dump has excused itself from my memory, on account of being so profoundly unremarkable and entirely unpleasant. I’m pretty sure I know what I did, but a large sum of the details are basically gone. Thankfully, none of it’s all that important, but I still feel like I should write down what I can recall. It’s kind of weird -- it feels like the more I write, the more I remember. Maybe once all’s said and done, I should try keeping a journal or some corny crap like that. A real one.

‘Dunno if I could stay regular on it without the added benefit of pretending to talk to you.

Anyway. Seven-ish days, I stayed there, and each day, relations with Wreck-it stayed just as strained, clipped, and awkward as the day before. I found out on the first morning that he had a strike system in mind -- I break three rules, that’s three strikes, that’s my ass hitting the road. Of course, I found out about this shortly after making my first strike. Literally seconds into the first day. 

I hadn’t slept at all, being too sick and anxious and plagued by a snoring gorilla. So, when he woke up, before he could even stand, he was greeted by a violation of Rule #2:

“Hey, Maestro, what’s it like havin’ an entire brass section lodged in your nose?”

Then he, let’s say, ‘explained’ that I’d just struck one of three.

The second strike was not long for this world, either. Just hours later, I’d break Rule #5, completely by accident.

Business was pretty slow that day, being so early in the School Year (I heard some things here and there about so-and-so’s throwing First Day of School parties, but there was no festival this year -- not in the climate for it, I guess). Fix-it had a fair amount of free time between gamers, and made the incredibly ill-advised decision to try to talk to me. I was curled up on my pillows trying very hard to sleep when I heard him climbing up the bricks, calling out cautiously, “Mavy? Are you here?”

I didn’t say anything. I just grabbed a brick and tossed it in the direction of his voice. I then heard a yelp, a handful of Nicelander gasps, those tumbling sound effects, and that morbid little funeral drone. I didn’t expect to actually hit him, let alone K.O. him. He’s so damn easy to K.O., it’s like cracking an egg.

Regardless of it being an accident, regardless of the fact that Fix-it was assuring everyone he was fit as a fiddle seconds later, regardless of the fact that Wreck-it wasn’t even in the dump at the time, but watching from the roof of Niceland, it was a strike. So I had one left until I was out on my ass. I really had to pull it together in that regard. And I did, sort of.

I spent each day more or less the same: Looking for distractions that didn’t break any rules, puking, and trying to sleep.

I wandered around when I could. I took sporadic catnaps. I took very, very cold baths in the river, which I did not miss doing at all, but I certainly couldn’t use the showers in your game anymore. I drew sketches of the gamers’ faces as they played. I spent lots of time hugging a bucket. I very quietly played my guitar, more for the motion than the music. I snuck into the building from behind and raided apartments during gameplay, stockpiling food and water as my appetite slowly came back. It was all repetitive, futile, and not nearly enough to distract me the way I needed. I wanted buffs so, so bad. Even a drink. But for the life of me, I could not leave the game.

I tried many times, often several times in a day. I’d go stand at our dinky little train station, staring at the dinky little train I’d have to use as a newfound ground-dweller, and shiver. I’d pace. I’d kick the train, usually. It was so demeaning and frustrating. Nobody can keep me locked up. Yet there I was, too afraid to leave my own Dev-damned game out of fear that I’d be murdered. That had to be exactly what my attacker wanted me to feel. Just crippling, paralyzing fear. She may not have killed me, but maybe she was counting on other ways to make me disappear. And there I was, giving her what she wanted.

Wreck-it, on the other hand, left the game nightly to go to Tapper’s, right after closing. He’d check in with me beforehand, and it’d be the same each time.

He’d say, “Hey. Holdin’ up okay?”

I’d say, “Yup.”

He’d say, “Think you might leave soon?”

I’d say, “Hopefully.”

He’d say, “I’m going to Tapper’s, if you’re interested.”

I’d say, “No, thanks.”

End scene.

Word for word, the same every night. Those were really our only brief windows of communication, right up until the fifth night, after he had come back from Tapper’s and settled in. 

The withdrawals had cleared up by then, but, needless to say, I still didn’t feel too good. I’d been stuck in there for nearly a week, feeling more broken and pathetic than I’d ever felt in my life. Everything was weighing down so, so hard, it was like I could barely breathe. Being unable to find you, nearly being murdered, being villainized, practically losing my brush -- it all had me cornered. There was nowhere to run. I was wishing so deeply for a way out. So, like I’ve done countless times before, I stared out into the arcade through the screen, trying to imagine a reality where I could break out and leave all of this behind.

The thing is, though, I’d only ever dreamed of that when no one else was around. This time, I was peering over the mound of bricks that I’d been sleeping behind, barely ten feet from Wreck-it’s stump. I was lying there for Devs know how long before, completely by accident, a question slipped from my mouth.

“What do you think it’s like out there?”

Wreck-it jumped. “Huh?”

I jumped. “What?”

“What’d you say?”

I felt my face burn up. I couldn’t have that conversation, not with him. I slipped back down the bricks to my privacy, and instinctively grabbed my guitar. “Forget it. Doesn’t matter.”

Wreck-it didn’t press, but I didn’t expect him to. It was the heavy, awkward silence after that I was worried about, so, without a second thought, I started playing my guitar. I’d played quietly while Wreck-it was around a few times before, and he didn’t seem to mind. Up until that point, though, I’d been silent on the vocals, because… y’know, I guess I just didn’t feel much like singing since you’d left. But in my panic, I started singing the first thing that popped into my head. It was this song I’d started writing about a concrete world and a neon storm. It wasn’t done. I’d forgotten most of it. It was a freakin’ mess -- eventually, I just gave up. I sighed and started plucking no tune in particular. Me and my unpredictable mouth.

That’s when Wreck-it piped in again, casually.

“Was that a new one?”

I cringed. “Yeah. It’s... not done.”

He paused. “It was nice. When it’s done, you should play it at Tapper’s.” He paused again. “...Y’know, after… things die down a bit.”

“...Yeah, right. As if I’ll ever play there again. Certainly not at Qix, either.”

“No?”

“No. Sprites at Qix are there for a good time, and I’m not super conducive to those anymore, so… even if it ever opens up again, I’m off the setlist.”

Qix had, indeed, been barred from the public not too long after the incident. It had become even more of a hotspot for buff use and dealing. Hardly stopped users and dealers from finding new places for it, but, still, the arcade lost its one and only nightclub. So that was grand.

“And, as for Tapper, I kinda doubt he wants the arcade’s most hated sprite playing at his bar.”

“Tapper still likes you,” he said. “I mean, he even talked about you the other night, said he’d run into you at the memorial. Wanted to know how you were doing.”

It was true -- I had met Tapper briefly at the memorial, and I remembered that he said that I was always welcome in his game if I needed company. It really was a sweet thing, looking back. But I didn’t take him seriously at the time, ‘cause I still thought it was a big joke. And after that, I definitely made him regret his offer. All I’d done at Tapper’s was drink myself violent and end up throwing punches and breaking glass. I was certain that he’d changed his mind and started hating me like everyone else. That thought really stung.

I waited, for a moment. “...What did you tell him?”

“I just told him I wouldn’t know.”

“Good,” I nodded, “good.”

We were both quiet for a long while, before words slipped out of me again. “I’m gonna miss that bar.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… whether Tapper likes me or not, I’m… bad for business, now. I could draw sprites in with my music, before, but, now… Even if he says I’m welcome there, I’m not really. It’s not entirely up to him.” I sighed, and felt my voice drop so low, it practically dragged. “I’m not welcome anywhere, anymore, so… that’s great.”

“Nowhere at all?”

I said, “Nope. Didn’t you say yourself that I’m trouble? Big trouble? Everyone seems to think that. Bigger trouble than anyone can deal with nowadays.”

Once again, we were both silent for a moment. I’d stopped playing, reduced to flicking one string with my thumb, just enough to hear it.

I heard Wreck-it take a deep breath behind me. He paused, and then, in a slow, awkward voice, said, “Well… Yeah, maybe, but… You don’t scare me, kid.”

I wished that could have made me feel better. It was, objectively, a pretty decent thing to say, and another sprite probably would have been very comforted by the chance of an ally in this mess, or at the very least, someone with something resembling loyalty. But it just made me feel worse. I felt too smart to believe any of that crap could last. He didn’t know it yet, but he’d change his mind. I’d always figured that sooner or later, everyone would decide I’m too much. That was just the way of things. 

However, given my bleak circumstances, I had little choice but to accept his… tolerance while it lasted. Having someone on my side, even for just a little while, seemed like it could have proven helpful.

So, after a long, sullen silence, I just went back to plucking idly on my guitar. “Good to know you’re not as dumb as you look, then.”

His breath caught in disbelief for a second, before he dropped right back into growling, “Name-calling. Watch it.”

“It was a compliment, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, a super backhanded one.”

I closed my eyes, trying to play myself to sleep. “Just take it, pal. I don’t got that many kind words to share, so I gotta ration them out wisely.”

He grumbled. “You would call that kind.”

“I do. Now, can we cut the yammerin’ and sleep?”

“Fine. Yeesh.”

He slept. I didn’t. Not ‘til midday the following day, anyway. I fell asleep during gameplay hours, and woke up just after closing when Wreck-it stomped his big ol’ stumps up the bricks. We had the usual pre-Tapper’s exchange, ending, of course, with me refusing his offer to come along. I was tired as hell, and I still wasn’t ready to go out there.

But, as I quickly discovered, it didn’t matter if I was ready or not.

I’d been in a fitful sleep for what must have been barely half an hour when Wreck-it’s feet woke me up again. This time, he came around behind my bricky knoll to stand next to me, towering with this look on his face that I didn’t like at all.

He said, “Hey kid, guess what.”

“I’m being evicted?”

“No,” he grinned in a way I couldn’t read -- don’t really see him smile that often, honestly, “but you are leaving. You’re going to Tapper’s!”

I was not following. “Uh… ‘kay, you do know that I said ‘no thanks’, right? That’s a thing you remember?”

“Yup, yup, I do. But listen to this -- I talked to Tapper for you, and all that stuff you said about him hating you or -- or, y’know, all that --” he shook his head, “-- not true. He misses you, kid. You gotta get out there and show him you’re alive.”

I felt my face burn up.

“You-- You--” I sprung to my feet, “You TOLD HIM I’M STAYING WITH YOU!?”

He put his hands on his hips nonchalantly. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

“HOW-- WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT TO?! THAT WAS RULE NUMBER ONE!!”

“Ah, ah,” he pointed, “polite request number one, and, request denied.”

I’d have throttled his fat neck if my fingers could fit around it.

“WHY’D I WASTE MY TIME BEING POLITE, THEN, LARD-FACE!?”

He seemed thoroughly unimpressed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m gonna let that one slide, because you can bellyache all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been in here way, way too long, kid.”

“QUIT CALLING ME KID! I’M GONNA LEAVE, OKAY! SOON! ON MY OWN!”

“Uh huh, I’m sure you were going to,” he nodded in a condescending sort of way that made me want to hurl a brick between his eyes, “but now you get to leave with me, right now.”

“NO, I DON’T!”

“You said you’re here ‘cause you had nowhere else to go, right? Well, now you’ve got somewhere else to go, so get up off my bricks, and come go to the bar like I know you’ve been dying to do all week.”

He wasn’t wrong. But I was so angry. And I was still so scared.

“I DON’T WANT TO GO, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”

His eyebrows raised for a second, and he shrugged. “Alright, I guess we’re doing this.”

Then the colossal bastard grabbed me. Me, as in, my entire body, in one of his huge, meaty paddles he calls hands. It’s not that he’s never done that before, but it’s always been to throw me, and lasted only a second. This time, he started walking down the bricks, with the clear intention of just carrying me the entire way to Tapper’s. His code is still less dense than that of Fix-it, but that prolonged contact still made my binary crawl. Devs, did it crawl.

So, after a quick burst of threats and shrieking, I conceded. I agreed to go with him if he would just put me the hell down. He dropped me, I ran back to grab my book bag, and we trudged to the train. The way he walked behind me made me feel like he was marching me to some grim fate. Some grim, unnatural, unspeakably awkward fate.

As much as I lamented being reduced to riding the train like a chump, seeing the way his massive ass just barely fit into one of the cars was pretty rewarding.

Once we started rolling, he told me, “You know it’ll do you good to get out. You’re just not coded for life in a box, kid.”

I don’t remember if I sighed or gave the flattest laugh of my life. “Yeah, tell that to the Devs. And for cuss’ sake, quit calling me kid.”

In all truthfulness, as scared as I was, I really was so relieved at a chance to finally leave. And as much as I hated not being able to do it on my own, I was, admittedly, glad to have a second pair of eyes. It was probably a pretty decent thing of him to do, scouting out a safe place for me to go. Even if I really, really didn’t want or ask for it.

But I’m still pissed at him for denying my incredibly polite request.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Supernatural 15x18, Despair -- Review

Sooo...that episode happened. And you know, based on the posts I had been seeing all day, when I went into this episode, I was expecting to hate this episode. But I kind of didn’t. I kind of liked it. Did I love it? No. Like I’ve been saying before, I doubt this season will do anything that I will actually genuinely love, they went a direction with the season that ultimately I find boring and dull, so I’ll probably never ever actually truly enjoy or love any part of this season, other than the Michael/Adam dynamic, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t find some enjoyment watching this episode. 

So as always, spoilers below. If you don’t want to be spoiled, scroll past this. I might get a little anti Dean and anti Destiel, if you’re pro for either of those things, you might also want to scroll past this one. If you do decide to stick around and listen to my, at times, incoherent ramblings then you are welcome to do so. Just know that I will not tolerate any rude behavior or actions. If you want to discuss a difference in opinions then I am by all means open to that. However, if you just want to come at me to preach at me on why I’m wrong, then you’ll probably be ignored. This blog supports the interpretations of stories, interpretations as in plural. Everyone has their own interpretations I associate a certain kind of validity with all of them and only a fandickle tries to tear down someone else’s interpretation. Don’t be a fandickle, that’s all I’m asking.

So believe it or not, I actually did find myself kind of sort of enjoying the Cas sacrifice. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not appreciate Cas dying or sacrificing himself, he’s done it way too much and my poor angel, he just needs to stop loving other people so much and start showing himself a fraction of that love. But on the topic of Cas’s sacrifice, I found the idea behind it kind of nice? I guess. This episode is titled “despair”. And truly, this episode is about our heroes reaching total despair. But in the face of reaching total despair and hopelessness, Cas brought hope, he brought a second chance. In the story of Pandora’s Box, Pandora let out all of the evils of the world, but among those evils at the very bottom of the box was hope. At the bottom of true despair and hopelessness, there’s hope. And that’s what Cas’s sacrifice ultimately meant. Hope and a second chance to somehow find a way to fix everything. And I don’t know, it was just an aspect of the story I really liked. 

Now, do I agree with how the actual sacrifice went down? Absolutely not. Dean certainly doesn’t deserve Cas’s love and I think Cas’s reasoning for finding true happiness is a little contrived. Shoot, I wish I found happiness everytime I confessed to someone I liked them. But somehow, happiness and was not what I was feeling. More like anxiety and subsequently pain when I was ultimately rejected. I could imagine maybe feeling a sense of relief but how that correlates to true happiness, I think that’s a little bit of a stretch and is a product of the writers wanting something to happen but either running out of time or just simply too lazy to put in the work for it. And ultimately, this whole “Destiel is canon” thing is something I just don’t really feel a sense of love or appreciation for. I’m glad the Destiel fandom got this thing they had waited so long for but ultimately to me, I can’t appreciate it like they can, it comes with a bitter taste to it because I don’t think it was earned. Dean has been a piece of shit for a while, I’m sorry and the show has done very little this season to actually redeem him for me. Do I think it was out of character for Cas to do what he did? Absolutely not. In fact, this is very in character for him. Me being a Sastiel shipper, I can also say that Dean  has had a (I can hardly say this without having to barf) but Dean has had a “profound” impact on Cas. And to a certain extent, it is true that Cas has largely become who he is because of Dean. Now I do not like the whole retconning of that Cas didn’t care about humans before he met Dean. That bit doesn’t make sense as its been revealed time and time again that he’s always had a fondness for humans and felt a sense of justice to do right by them. So that bit I don’t agree with. But as for Cas choosing to sacrifice himself to save Dean, yes that’s in character for him. It doesn’t mean I have to like it, Cas deserves to love someone better who’s not a manbaby but when you look at it from Cas’s perspective, he doesn’t view Dean that way. I wish Cas would dump Dean’s ass but that’s not who Cas is and begrudgingly, it’s also something I kind of love about Cas. To be able to love and forgive a beast essentially. 

But moving on to other things I enjoyed about this episode. Seeing Billie wield her weapon like that, kind of awesome. Although, I am side-eyeing the whole weird contrivance that “Death” keeps putting down this weapon and leaving it somewhere for anyone to pick up. And while I didn’t enjoy watching all of our heroes’ friends disappear, I did kind of appreciate from a morbid torture standpoint that Chuck was essentially torturing Sam and Dean with the disappearances. He started out small and he kept on graduating further and further, getting closer and closer to the people Dean and Sam cared the most about. Like Charlie asked why when Stevie disappered, why didn’t she? And it’s because Chuck wanted Sam and Dean to stew in the disappearances a little. He wanted to give the boys a chance to understand what was happening, have them formulate a plan and then once they realized the plan failed, then take away the ones that mean the most to them. It’s horrible but an effective torture technique. 

So surprisingly, I did enjoy this episode. I didn’t expect to, I didn’t want to, but I kind of did. I’d have to give this episode a B+. Not too bad, Berens. Again, don’t love it, don’t love how things were executed in it, but in idea form it was kind of nice. And for the record, I don’t think this is the end of Cas. This episode was about Despair, we got Cas’s despair and the hope he was able to dig out from under it, now we just need Sam and Dean to dig out their own hope from their own despair and I’m interested to see what we come out with. Remember what I said, only when we reach a sense of true hopelessness, can we find hope again. 

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Magical Moostery Tour || Regan, Nadia, Deirdre, Blanche, and Kaden

TIMING: A long ass time ago when Regan didn’t have wings  PARTIES: @kadavernagh @harlowhaunted @deathduty @humanmoodring and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Regan got the whole gang VIP tickets to Moosventures and Blanche was the tour guide. What could go wrong?

Bringing Kaden and Deirdre together, dragging Nadia out of the apartment and herself out of the morgue… well, okay, probably everything could go wrong. Regan had called ahead to specifically request Blanche for their VIP moose tour and, taking Kaden’s advice, she’d told them not to alert her to this. She wasn’t sure what to expect from a moose tour agency, but it wasn’t the moose heads hanging on the wall. Not that she minded, but there was something extremely morbid about that. And there were few things in life -- or death -- that Regan considered morbid. Maybe they were fake, but they looked real enough. She tapped Kaden on the shoulder and gestured toward one of the heads, making sure he saw it. After all, he liked skulls.

While they waited, Regan scanned the room. The place wasn’t crowded, though it was possible not everyone was there yet. How many people really wanted to go on a moose tour? A little over a dozen people, as it turned out. Two young couples, a family with kids, and some single nature-lovers all queued up impatiently as the tour company was… preparing the bus or something.  “I’m sure Deirdre and Nadia will be here any minute! They wouldn’t want to miss this. Probably.”

Kaden hated waiting. They were a solid half hour early, too, at Regan's insistence. Only she hadn't told him they were getting there early. Had he known that he would have conveniently delayed picking her up as long as possible. He was leaned back in the chair, arms crossed, starting to doze off, when Regan nudged him and he jumped awake. He looked around for anything alarming, then followed her line of sight to the moose heads. His brow furrowed, they looked like moose heads. Weird to have before a moose tour, sure, but they seemed pretty standard. Wait, did she still think he was a game hunter? Right. Probably. Not like he exactly told her otherwise. He pulled his mouth into a half smile and nodded like they were great.

He sighed and checked the time on his phone. It had only been seven whole minutes. "I hope so." Well, at least Nadia. He was dreading having to sit around and play nice with Deirdre. Thank god he'd be able to distract himself by annoying hell out of Blanche. "It's still early. I'm sure they're on their way." He smiled at Regan as he leaned back again and put his arm around the back of her chair.

Nadia locked her truck and headed to the moose tour building. Honestly, not how she thought she was going to be spending her night, but it seemed like fun. She remembered that she’d told Regan that the moose tour seemed interesting when they first became friends, and, well, there was no sense in turning it down. She was running late from the time that Regan had given her, though. She quickly walked into the building and headed to where she saw Regan and Kaden seated. As she took a seat, she leaned over and murmured, “Sorry I’m…” she looked around at the lack of people and the fact that no one seemed to be getting ready to start, “late?”

There was nothing that sounded more idiotic to Deirdre than looking at living moose. Except, maybe, paying someone to help her look at living moose. The only benefit was seeing Regan, a gift of which she would never turn down, and then the possibility of potentially pushing Kaden into a comically large pile of moose excrement. If Kaden would die sometime during this venture, Deirdre would count this journey a victory, but she knew White Crest wouldn’t offer her even that one little thing. And then there was Nadia, Regan’s allotted human. If she was to die, Deirdre would count that a victory too, but the thought left her with an odd touch of sadness. She rationalized that as mourning the loss of the fun kind of criminal, a true tragedy in the monotony of the human world.

Deirdre pushed open the doors, appalled for a moment that there was no human to offer to do the manual labor for her. Her gaze snapped to the three people she was meant to meet; astonishing Regan in her adorable turtleneck glory, disgusting-waste-of-a-human Kaden….and Nadia. Or who Deirdre assumed was Nadia. Were she not focused on glaring at Kaden’s arm around Regan’s chair--familiar and crude--she would have enjoyed the company’s decorating choices. “This better be a-moose-ing,” she strode to them, haphazardly tossing off her notably unnecessary sunglasses. She was aiming for Kaden’s head, a task that proved harder to do when she was trying not to look like she wanted to impale him with an antler hat. Where her sunglasses actually landed was another story.

Stan was acting weird as they got the bus ready for the nights tour. He had taken care of the check in process, so Blanche hadn’t even seen the list of how big it was supposed to be. There were four V.I.P. seats, though, which meant there would be four people practically on top of her while she recited Moose factoids. She pushed her stupid headband of specialty pair of Moose Antler’s and put her magnetic gold name tag that said her name in a styled ‘Moosey’ font, and went to greet the patrons. She had gotten… sort of? Better at it, as time went on. She still didn’t have the pep in her step or passion for moose Pam or the new part-time tour guide named Martha did.  “Hi everyone,” Blanche had started saying, adjusting the Mooseventure brand fleece jacket (available at the gift case for $24.99 in child and adult sizes). “W- unf.”

Deirdre’s sunglasses soared through the air, bouncing off Blanche’s face and falling onto her small box of mooseantlers. Blanche stopped, looked at the sunglasses, before looking up. Her worst nightmare were sitting right there in front of her. Oh no. She saw Deirdre first. Then Kaden. Nadia. Regan. Who she knew had four V.I.P. passes. Oh no. Absolutely not. Horror, rage, and embarrassment flashed across her reddening face. “Oh my god.” Why couldn’t her moose antler headband come with a mask? Actually, just let her wear a giant moose head like a mascot. Blanche shot a look at Regan, to her other patrons. And then, through her teeth, she started the welcome script.

“Welcome. Are you all ready to see some moose. I’m Blanche. Your tour guide for tonight. And. Your. Fellow. Moosenthusiast.” She, very stiffly, handed the cardboard box of moose antlers out. “We can’t get on the bus without the proper headgear. We wouldn’t want to scare the moose.” She shot her friends a look. “Mandatory.”

With Nadia and Deirdre finally showing up, the gang was all here. Almost. Regan’s eyes followed the pair of sunglasses that Dierdre whipped off her face, and nearly yelped when she saw Blanche on the other end of their trajectory. And -- oh no! They must’ve hit her face harder than it looked, because her cheeks were all red. Both of them, actually. That was strange. Regan winced in empathy and waggled her fingers in a shy wave. It was rude to interrupt her introduction spiel while she was working, right? But the deflated way Blanche spoke was almost depressing, and Regan had to wonder if something was wrong. And… why were they distributing styrofoam antlers? “I don’t need those,” she said, holding her head proudly, “I’m not a child.” But Blanche had used the word mandatory. And -- hey, why had she made eye contact when she said that? Did she already know Regan would protest? She sighed. “I’ll hold them. I’m not wearing them.” She sidled up next to Kaden and once Nadia and Deirdre had antlers in hand, the group was ushered onto a bus. Discrete from the outside, the inside was plastered in moose memorabilia. She looked down at her VIP ticket stub, which indicated that they had the frontmost seats for “best viewing”. Why did they even bother with stubs? It wasn’t like they could leave the bus, even if they wanted to… now there was a slightly terrifying thought. She glanced between Kaden, Deirdre, and Nadia as a decision cemented itself. “I think… Kaden, do you want to sit with Deirdre?”

Kaden was really hoping that Deirdre just wouldn't show up. He was so close to getting his wish, too. Then she walked in the door, flinging her sunglasses like some sort of over dramatic diva. Somehow she was worse in person. He didn't think it was possible. He sighed and shot her a look and almost missed seeing Blanche get decked by the sunglasses. Seeing the look of horror on her face was worth it, he had to admit. He had to bite back the laughter at her moose antlers and forced bullshit monologue. His smile faded a bit when she handed him his own set of moose antlers. He was pretty sure they weren't mandatory and this was her form of payback. "Come on, Regan, can't scare the moose," he said as he put his antlers on her head. If he was going to look stupid, he wasn't going to do it alone. He turned to Blanche before grabbing another set. "If I put these on, do I get to ask as many questions as I want?" he asked with a smirk. "There's just so much to learn about the moose. I've gotta know." Kaden was starting to think this might be fun after all. Then Regan had to suggest that. His face fell and he tried not to shoot Deirdre a glare. The word "No" didn't seem strong enough. But he was pretty sure he couldn't refuse. As much as he wanted to. "Do I-- Are you sure? I mean..."

Nadia frowned as she took the moose antlers, but she was more focused on trying to drown out all of the feelings going on around her. Between Blache’s embarrassment (poor girl; Nadia could only imagine that she hadn’t been expecting to see the four of them while she was working) and the animosity Kaden had coming off of him in waves, it was hard for her to think. And the source of his animosity… Nadia hadn’t really known what to think, meeting Deirdre. The other woman was just as loud in person as she was online. It was all a bit much. Nadia tried to focus on herself, on what she was feeling. She-- it was hard-- she hated the moose antlers. That’s what she was feeling, but she put them on and glanced up as Regan asked if Kaden and Deirdre wanted to sit together. No, that sounded like an awful idea, a really bad idea, but she couldn’t exactly blurt out that she could tell they hated each other just from feelings. She looked between the three of them, then looked at Blanche, then looked back. Nadia should’ve stayed home.

Deirdre didn’t mind the moose antlers. She could see the apprehension in her companions faces but she was of the (correct) belief that she looked good in anything. She took them with a smile, which widened at seeing Blanche at her other job and veered into a smirk at Regan’s suggestion. “I’d love to sit next to Kaden! We can get closer--in several ways.” She slipped the antlers on, trying to find Kaden’s gaze to shoot him a wink. Oh, he was right to hate her. But she reveled in that hate. She glanced over at Nadia, her frown died as she remembered one of their older conversations. With a cough she spoke generally to the air, “the humans are louder! If you focus on what isn’t--it’s less overwhelming.” Hopefully the small nugget of information could make up to Nadia about being stuck here. “Just something my grandmother said about….moose. That humans are louder than….them…” she coughed again, “anyway, don’t you mean it’s moose-datory?” Deirdre grinned, “lead on cadet.”

Blanche’s protest almost turned into gagging as Kaden stuck his moose antlers on Regan’s head. Ew. What the hell was that? Cursed. She glowered at Kaden, giving him the most withering stare  “I’m here to answer all Moose questions, as your tour guide,” She said, through her teeth. She felt a little better when Regan suggested Kaden and Deirdre sit together, snorting under her breath as she began checking stuff off on her clip board. Nadia looked like she wanted out too. Same, Nadia, she thought. Blanche looked at Deirdre, and realized that maybe Deirdre should be the Moose themed tour-guide. “Moose-datory. What a great pun! Alright everyone, out this way, and up onto the bus!” Blanche was used to people herding. “Our for VIP members right up front! With me!” Oh god, with her. She would practically be on top of them. Noooo. “Antlers on, everyone, we’re almost ready to take off!”

Aside from the moose antlers that Kaden had stuck on her head, this was going… great! Regan’s heart soared. 5 friends, all in the same place, all enjoying the moose. Except Blanche, who didn’t look particularly happy… actually, now that she thought about it, Nadia looked pretty overwhelmed (maybe she was really excited about the moose?). Deirdre and Kaden seemed okay, though. She wondered if they’d have some moose bones to pass around on the bus, like a show and tell. Part of this was about education, after all, wasn’t it? That would cheer everyone up. They followed Blanche’s lead onto the bus, and Regan shuffled into the first available window seat, motioning for Nadia to join her. Meanwhile, Kaden and Deirdre took the next. There was a strange sharpness to both of their eyes. Was it a mistake to suggest this seating arrangement? She knew Deirdre and Kaden had their differences, but they both seemed eager to put it all behind them. Regan raised her hand, like this was a lecture. “I have a question about moose! What’s their most common cause of natural death? And do you have some moose bones, or maybe a nice intestine, to pass around for educational purposes? Sorry. That’s two questions.”

Kaden’s eyes narrowed at Deirdre’s fucking wink. He’d love nothing more than to just stab right then and there, be done with it. Never have to play nice with monsters again. Instead he forced a smile onto his face as he gestured for her to take the window seat before sitting next to her “Oh yeah, so much closer. After you.” He may or may not have “accidentally” stepped on her toes as he sat down in the seat beside her. “Sorry. I’m just so clumsy. What can you do?” He tried to bite back a smirk but it didn’t work. As fun as that was, he turned his attention back to Regan and her questions for Blanche. She’d mentioned she’d be bringing a list but that wasn’t exactly what he expected her to ask. Which really was his mistake, come to think of it. “Yeah, pipsqueak. Where’s the moose intestine? Stomach? You must have something.” Weird as the questions were, he wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to badger Blanche. And hey, if he was annoying enough, maybe he’d get lucky and she’d kick him off the tour early.

This was going to be a long night, Nadia just knew it. Which, it was already a long night; it’d been a long night for awhile now. Still. For a second, she was confused as hell as to what Deirdre might mean, with humans being loud before oh. Nadia had forgotten she’d told the banshee that she was an empath; she sent Deirdre a grateful look. As she followed Regan to their seats, she tried to mostly just focus on Deirdre and a little on Regan, since they were apparently a bit more dulled (that explained a lot, actually). Still, it was hard, and dulled didn’t mean it wasn’t there. Deirdre and Kaden were antagonistic, Blanche was hella embarrassed, and Regan… was asking about moose intestines. Which, yeah, that was about right. Poor Blanche. “Maybe,” she said, hoping to help the younger woman, “Blanche will be taking questions towards the end? Don’t want to distract her from her spiel, you know?”

Deirdre gritted her teeth, trying her best not to stab Kaden right then and there for the simple act of stepping on her toes. Maybe she was clumsy too. Maybe a knife would just slip out of one of her dozen or so pockets and find its way into his---”Oh! Perfectly fine, Kady. Love the way you...walk.” Fates, she hated him. Thankfully, conversation about moose death and moose entrails was exactly the kind of distraction from murderous thoughts that she liked. Deirdre let out a soft chuckle at Nadia’s attempt at help. It was so cute. Unfortunately, Deirdre had no intentions of letting it work. “Entrails!” She shouted, which quickly turned into an enthusiastic chant. “Entrails! Entrails! Entrails! Moose entrails!” And who would blame her if one of her excited fist pumps hit Kaden? Or If she was shouting at him more than she was Blanche. Or if she leaned back and whispered “I love death” into his ear. “As VIP guests, we should get to have our question answered, shouldn’t we? And we should get to pass around entrails and bones and whatever else you have there, shouldn’t we?” There was a mutinous edge to her words.

At some point between being called a pipsqueak and Deirdre shouting and chanting about entrails, Blanche was pretty sure she blacked out because next thing she knew Stan was nudging her from the driver’s seat. He looked concerned. How dare he look concerned when he did this to her! This was his fault! Blanche ran her hands down her face, and craned her head to look at the other patrons on the bus, particularly the ones with children. Most of them looked mortified. Great. “Wolves,” Blanche finally answered through gritted teeth, looking at Regan. “Wolves are predators of Moose, though not usually in Maine. Coyotes, surprisingly, can also take a moose out. Common diseases include brain worm, which is usually fatal, winter ticks, which is fatal only when a moose is heavily ingested, and liver fluke, large flatworms that are usually found in white-tailed deer, but moose can get it too. Once again, it’s usually fatal if a moose is heavily infested.” Blanche rattled off the facts that she had memorized, before hearing the bus start and Stan taking off. She was supposed to be following a script, but she had a feeling that she wouldn’t get through half of it. “We do not have any entrails,” She shot a look at Deirdre and Kaden. “But we have antlers you can touch when we get back to the lobby. Any other questions before we continue?”

Other than the extremely disappointing lack of moose entrails available on the bus, this wasn’t a half-bad experience. Blanche’s ease of answering questions was impressive -- something Regan would commend her on later -- and even Kaden and Deirdre seemed to be getting along. Possibly? They were getting pretty close, physically. Unfortunately, Regan couldn’t say that Nadia was having a great time; the stress was plain on her face, even when the whole bus excitedly gathered around to get a good moose viewing angle. Wasn’t that supposed to be fun? She offered her hand to Nadia as an informative video about moose started playing on the screens around the bus. “The moose, the majestic hooved mammal of the north, can reach the size of…” Wasn’t this all information they were presented with anyways? Thud. The screen cut out. Just for a moment. Regan blinked. Thud thud. Again. The bus driver slammed to a stop, and did what no one wants to see their driver do: stand up. Regan gave Nadia a concerned glance and leaned forward, trying to see what was happening. Thud thud. Louder this time; the bus rocked. “Is this… part of the tour?”

The tour turned perfectly boring for a while. They asked Blanche questions; she answered. They looked at a moose; it was, in fact, a moose. There was a shitty video playing; it was-- Well he was going to say boring but then the power cut out and the bus started shaking. Maybe this wouldn’t be so boring after all. Kaden pushed his way around Deirdre to see out the window. He frankly didn’t care if she protested. Shit, didn’t see anything, must have been on the other side. “Excuse me, animal control, out of the way. Gotta see what’s going on here,” he said as he stood to get a better look out of the window on the other side of the bus, moving whoever he needed to out of his way. “Putain,” he grumbled as he saw the problem in question. There was no mistaking it. That was a fucking bies rocking the fucking bus. He grumbled to himself, “I thought we got rid of that shit, how is there another one?” He tried to start formulating a plan on how to deal with the monster without looking like a complete lunatic and all the sudden he felt a chill go past him all of the sudden. Weird. “Think you can cause a distraction while I take down a bies?” he leaned over and whispered to Nadia. “You know, unless you’ve got a better plan then by all means, now’s the time to share.”

Nadia was spending most of the first part of the tour trying not to get overwhelmed. Granted, most of the people on the tour just felt bored, but there were still more people in an enclosed space than she was used to. Bars were fine. She could drink; she could have space. This… reminded her of a field trip. She hated buses. Then, the power went out and the bus started shaking, and Nadia couldn’t see shit, but she felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise in a way she was learning to associate with paranormal activity. Fuck. Ghost. Granny? No idea. As Kaden leaned over and whispered in her ear, it felt like it was closer. Not Granny? She couldn’t focus. It took her too long to figure out what he was saying. Making sure Regan wasn’t too busy paying attention to what was going on at the front of the bus, Nadia frantically whispered to Kaden, “The fuck is a bies?!?” She took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on Regan’s dulled concern. “Alright, shit. I can-- shit. Be careful?” She dropped her phone and kicked it toward the front of the bus. “Oh, shit!” There were children. She could feel paternal judgement coming from the back. “My phone! Hey, can anyone help me find my phone?!” She grabbed Regan’s hand and jerked her down. “Please help me find it!”

Deirdre was sure she’d fallen asleep during the tour. Or at least, she must have, because the last thing she remembered was trying to start a chant and now the bus was shaking. Which was, admittedly, the most interesting part of the tour. Then there was an elbow in her face and she groaned trying to get away from Kaden before she eventually crawled over him to tumble out into the space between the seating. To make matters worse, some thing had started spouting off in French and Deirdre’s salt packets had tumbled out of her pockets as she escaped Kaden. “I’m right here!” She hissed at him, “why are you asking Nadia when I’m right here!” Did he not know what bies were afraid of? Was he that bad of a hunter? She lifted her gaze up, looking at Blanche. She couldn’t scream while children were here, she couldn’t shatter glass where it could hurt them. The adults, she didn’t care so much about hurting. “Get me off this bus and I can deal with it a lot better than you can,” she hissed at Kaden again, before snapping her gaze up once more to gesture at Blanche. “We should all look for Nadia’s phone! Isn’t that right, tour...uh, leader? Shouldn’t we all be ducking and not looking out the window and really focused on Nadia’s phone?”

Blanche answered most questions they had through gritted teeth, happy to take a much needed break when the stupid video started playing. People love informational videos! Stan had said. But did they though? Blanche didn’t complain as she reached for her metal water bottle, taking aswig just as something slammed against the bus. Blanche jerked, before her head whipped to see Stan stand up. Blanche’s water bottle clanged loudly to the bus floor as the yelling in French started. Ah, there was Mrs. Langley. To make matters worse, her own ghost showed herself. Granny had appeared, probably having been following the damn bus from afar - ‘A magic moose is hitting the bus!’ Granny was yelling in her ear, Mrs. Langley was popping off at Kaden for being a dumb fucking hunter, the stupid, apparently magic moose was smacking the side of the bus, and Deirdre was speaking to her. Shit. “Everyone! Shut up!” Blanche hissed, loudly. Granny repeated Deirdre’s instructions instead of shutting up. “Wh- oh!” She hopped off her seat, people were worriedly trying to get a glimpse of the magic moose. “Everyone!” Blanche grabbed onto the back of the seat to keep herself from being thrown off balance. “Everyone! Can I have your attention please! We urge you not to panic and to let, uh, Animal Control take care of the situation! If we could all have you duck under your seats, please, and do not look out the windows, that, uhhh, would be great! Right Stan? Stan? Oh.” Stan looked a little green. Blanche turned her attention back to the group. “Everyone do it now! Right now!”

Kaden was thankful Nadia took direction well and started fumbling for her phone, taking Regan to the floor with her. Good. This was going to be way too much to explain. He was just about to  leave the bus with his, uh, well, he had one smaller knife on him, when Deirdre snapped at him. “You? What are you going to d--” And then it hit him. Noise. Banshee. “Wait, won't that fucking burst our ear drums?” he whispered to her. It'd at least do a number on his. Merde. "Fine. Play along.” He pushed past people and carefully stepped over the ones rummaging on the floor to the door. “Animal control, both of us. We've got this. Just duck and, uh, cover your ears.” He gave Blanche a pointed look, hoping she followed what he was suggesting as he pushed the doors open and hopped out of the bus, assuming Deirdre was behind him. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a knife. Not really great, but it'd have to do. “Hey!” he shouted at the beast. He probably didn't need to, it had sure seen him. With a loud bellow, the bies reared up. Well shit, it looked angry. Really angry. And all of that anger seemed directed right at him as it charged straight at him. He ducked and rolled to the side. Into the bus tire. Which hurt, but not as much as those hooves. “You better work fast,” he grumbled in Deirdre’s general direction, knife in hand as he pushed himself off the ground. He had no idea if her plan would work and if the beast would run or not, so he figured it was best to be prepared. With the monster running the other way, Kaden sprinted towards it, hoping to catch it off guard, in the middle of changing direction. He reached the monster's flank and dug his knife it, pulling down hard, hoping to split a tendon or artery, fucking anything to slow it down, just in case they all had to run. He just hoped she'd fucking warn him when she planned on screaming. Yeah, alright, odds were she wouldn't. Putain. Who needed hearing anyway?

Following Kaden's lead had proved to be more degrading than Deirdre thought. There was nothing more humiliating than walking behind him, than walking behind any human, really. But such sacrifices had to be made for the greater good of...moose touring. The bies seemed occupied enough with Kaden though and for a moment, Deirdre considered just leaving him there. And considering it, she stood there doing nothing a beat longer than she probably should have. Then, she squared herself and opened her mouth to let out a scream, directed perfectly at the bies (though she gave no real attempt on trying to aim away from Kaden). The bies cried, its anger dissolved quickly into fear. Suddenly, aggressive posture diminished into panic. The once imposing creature appeared as a shell of itself, desperate for escape, but far too disoriented to find it. It thrashed, predictably, and Deirdre grinned imaging the trouble Kaden must have been going through trying to evade it. She could have screamed enough the first time to knock it out or chase it off...but she liked this better. Again, she let the animal and Kaden have their fun for a moment too long before she screamed once more, enough to finally cause the creature to flee in disarray. She turned to the bus, the windows were unshockingly intact—she was far too proud not to show off the aim she'd mastered. And then back to Kaden, smiling with the hope he'd understand her purposefully drawn out screams, "lovely weather we're having, isn't it?" Before finally she slipped back onto the bus before him, "now is this the part where we get to see the moose entrails?"

Blanche almost swore at Kaden as he ordered them all around and shot her a look, but there was a time to be defiant against authority and it wasn’t when she had a bus full of people that just wanted to see Moose. Mrs. Langley was off going on and on somewhere, all in french and Granny was hovering far too close for comfort, for once not saying anything, but anxious all the same. “You heard animal control!” Blanche bellowed, loudly. “Everyone duck and cover your ears. Now! You too, Stan!” One of the suburban mothers in the back tried to say something, but Blanche barked out another order before doing the same. Granny was busy trying to give her a play by play, but she could barely hear anything until finally it was over. Blanche slowly stood, pulling her hands away from her ears as Deirdre cheerfully got back onto the bus and asked her about moose entrails again. Blanche looked at her, before she peaked out the window to make sure the moose thing was gone and that Kaden’s dead body wasn’t just lying out there. She didn’t even want to know what kind of incident report she would have to fill out if someone died on a Mooseventure tour. Blanche ran a hand down her face, and went to jab Stan in the ribs. “Get it together!” She hissed, “I can’t drive the bus back!” Blanche looked at Deirdre, before putting on what she hoped was an award winning Tour Guide smile. “There will be no Moose Entrails on this tour! But, on our lovely drive back to the building, I can give you statistics about - uh - Moose and how they rarely show fear! Such as when the approach tourbuses full of people! Ha-ha.”

[aylinaliens]

get to know me more! 

tagged by @metawwin thank you so much ali 💕

✨ what do you prefer to be called name wise?

my name is kayla but i typical go by kay. you can honestly call me anything though because i'm not picky.

✨ when is your birthday?

december 21st!

✨ where do you live?

the us

✨ three things you are doing right now?

cuddling with my dog, drinking hot cocoa, and watching 3 Will Be Free

✨ four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

so many fandoms has piqued my interest honestly but atm i would have to go with 2gether, extraordinary you, uwma, and maybe the very small fandom for the romance of the tiger and rose. honorable mentions to girl from nowhere/3wbf since i'm binging them right now.

✨ how is the pandemic treating you?

not the best.

i have a chronic illness so i've been stuck inside my house for like 4 months straight. i think i only left the house about 6 times? it's safe to say i'm *this* close to losing it.

but being stuck at home for so long gave me time to focus on my writing, learn how to use photoshop, bond w/ my family, and watch a bunch of shows i had on my watchlist soooo...not all bad i guess??

✨ song you can’t stop listening right now?

it's a toss up between @brightwin EarnPear/wlw inspired song ‘of soft pink skies and candy floss’ because it makes my little sapphic heart so full and 'i loved you first' by joan. it gives off big pansoda vibes (or lgbtq+ couples in general) so i can't stop listening to it. also iu’s ‘give you my heart’ is another song i can’t get out of my head.

✨ recommend a movie.

tune in for love.

✨ how old are you?

22

✨ school, university, occupation, other?

i’m a junior in college studying sociology w/ an emphasis in criminology. i’m planning on heading to grad school in a few years after i gain some experience/discover some more interests i might have.

✨ do you prefer hot or cold?

cold for sure! i’ve never liked summer/the heat. as for drinking/eating wise it’s the opposite. in the dead of winter i tend to eat ice cream/cold foods but in the summer i can’t get enough of hot stuff. which is why i’m drinking hot chocolate when it’s nearly 90 degrees fahrenheit outside.

✨ name one fact others may not know about you.

i was born with a hole in my heart. is that consider an interesting fact? or is it just morbid one who knows wjdjdjdj

✨ are you shy?

painfully. both online and irl. that’s why i don’t interact with that many people on here and lurk instead. i always feel so awkward/like i won’t add enough to the discussion so i just stay quiet

✨ do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her or they/them is fine!

✨ any pet peeves?

a pet peeve i can’t stand is when people are condescending. or people who make others feel bad for something they like. especially when you try to tell them about it and they ridicule you over it. it isn’t cute to jump on the hate bandwagon. thankfully no one in this fandom is like that which makes me <3 we can have the most weird head canons or analysis on something and you can count on someone else supporting it. anyways I love that we all just collectively get along for the most part. it’s a nice change from some very toxic fandoms i was in when i was younger.

✨ what’s your favorite “dere” type?

i only knew the meaning of Tsundere but after looking it up i would say Dandere or Deredere i guess. i’m a sucker for sweet, quiet, and friendly characters.

✨ rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

like most the pandemic has changed a lot for people so i’m not going to include it in my rating. i’d go with 6. life could be better (which i’m working on) but i’m lucky enough to have the chance to pursue/further my education, become comfortable in my sexuality, and be surrounded by wonderful friends.

✨ what’s your main blog?

this is my main blog! i have a side blog where i post about kdrama’s @eundanharu but honestly i’m too lazy to manage it. that’s why this blog is just a mess of various fandoms instead of just thai bl like i intended.

✨ is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

i’m really awkward and sometimes will not reply to your messages for a long period of time. it has nothing to do with you but i either forget or can’t think of anything good to say so i put a pin in it for the future. plus 99% of the mutuals i have are incredibly talented so i’m always feel like a lowly peasant who doesn’t deserve the attention i’m receiving. yes, i do realize that is a bad thing to think, the people in this fandom are genuinely sweet/always welcoming, but i’m a lil bit of a dumbass.

that being said i would love to make more mutuals on here so please don’t hesitate to send me a message/ask/etc. i’ll try my best to be active and not disappear. chances are after we get back the initial first conversation things will be go more smoothly. all you really have to do is mention sarawatine, earnpear, or deanpharm and i’ll come running.

tagging @sarawatism @pastel-butnotreally-angel @cu-tine @nongfiat + whoever else wants to do this!

[lettucetacoboatsix]

Eating Ass: Yay! or nay

Anonymous asked:

It's me again: the kinky one. I want my partner to eat my ass. How do I tell him it's not gross?

Hello, my kinky friend!

Thanks for reaching out again! I am more than happy to respond to this message and provide an educational view on this topic, but I want to start with a brief conversation about consent. I am not saying you’ve done anything wrong, but there is a difference between educating someone and trying to convince someone to do something you want. If this is a hard limit for your partner, you must respect that. If your partner seems unsure and wants information and wants to make sure that their safety is guaranteed, please do what you can to make sure that they know they have every right to say no at any point. Be willing to hear “no” and understand that consent can only be given without any sort of coercion and ought to be given enthusiastically. It really is more fun that way. Bodies are weird and gross, and a lot of people consider this specific part of the body to be particularly taboo. Tabooty, if you will.

The technical term for “eating ass” is “analingus” (see also “rimming” and the colorfully named “tossing salad”).   Before anyone reading this says, “Ewwww! Gross!” I encourage you to keep an open mind. It absolutely may not be your thing, and that’s 100% okay. Then  again, if you’re comfortable with the idea and experimental, you might  find a new trick to add to your sexual repertoire. If the thought  makes you squirm in your seat, and not in a good way, then go ahead and click away—but if you’re even a little bit curious about bucal anal contact,   then stick around.  We’ll make that journey together. Can you imagine your current sex life  without any form of oral stimulation? Blowjobs are the subject of many  cringe-worthy 90s teen comedies. We have a song flooding our airwaves  right now that tells you to swipe your nose like a credit card. While we like to pretend that sexual liberation is a linear progression, that is far from the case. Oral sex of any kind used to be a “no-no” in polite society (especially from around the turn of the century until the 1960s), although it certainly still happened when that was the case. There was a time when it was   outlawed in most states, and it was considered a perversion. In fact, there are still sodomy laws on the books  in Florida, Georgia, Idaho,   Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi,   North Carolina, Oklahoma and South Carolina.  Some of these still include statutes regarding oral sex of any variety regardless of a participants genitalia or outward expression of gender. While it is rare that these laws are enforced, they still can be, especially for gay men. But if you go back far enough, like to Ancient Egypt, you might see that wearing lipstick was a sign that you were open to oral sex. Sexual practice is as varied as the human experience. It always has been.

Analingus is one of those sex acts that still remains in the  sexual dark ages, but it does seem to be coming back into the mainstream (see previously mentioned song about swiping your nose like a credit card). While we can probably credit “the gays” with this rimming Renaissance, the actual practice is documented in Middle English literature (see ”The Miller’s Tale” from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales) and while I can’t cite an example off the top of my head, I’m sure I could find a reference in Ancient Greek poetry or Roman graffiti. The point is it’s nothing new. People have been eating ass as long as it has felt good, and since our biology has remained relatively the same for 200,000 years or so, the cultural misgivings are far more recent. It’s time we brought that dark, forbidden kiss into the light (for those who  want to venture into that arena). While shame is necessary for the development of our internal moral compass, there should not be any  shame associated with any sexual act among any number of consenting adults—rimming included. Still, feeling some hesitation and even a little embarrassment about  rimming is normal, for that very reason—the anus is one  part of our body that we have internalized a great deal of shame about  in our culture. The prevailing cultural means to overcome that shame isn’t really fitting. Reading Everybody Poops to your partner is a very specific type of foreplay that will probably be counterproductive if you’re bringing this desire up for the first time.   It takes overcoming some of that to even entertain the  idea, let alone actually attempt it. You might want to try some other forms of anal play first—fingers or   toys—before you introduce the idea of anal oral contact. Since you’re asking, I’m guessing you have that experience, but your partner may not. Likewise, dear readers, if you’re actually curious about it, and not just reading this out of some morbid curiosity like someone slowing down at the scene of an accident,  you probably have already been involved in some sort of anal play. Sometimes people fall into this experience through a delightful  mishap—someone is going down on you, and—oops! The tongue slips down lower  than either of you expected, and you jump and moan and you both look  at each other like: “WTF! What was that?!” Things happen in the dark. If it feels good, and you’re partner’s okay with it, then make your inner Bob Ross proud with your happy accident. I want to reiterate here, If you’re interested in it, but your partner isn’t, let it go. One sex  act shouldn’t ever come between you, and who can enjoy something if they  know the other person isn’t enjoying themselves, too? But if you’re  both curious and interested, just not sure how to proceed, then talk  about it. Who wants to give? Who wants to receive? Sometimes it’s both  of you, sometimes it’s just one of you. Make sure to tell your partner why you enjoy it and what you get from the experience. If there are concerns about   hygiene, then read on, because I’m about to assuage them. The biggest fear with oral/anal contact is fecal matter and bacteria. That’s certainly understandable. A lot of people won’t put food that’s fallen on the floor in their mouths, so it makes sense. If you can get  past the psychological aspect of it, though, the reality is that with proper hygiene, there is very little danger of coming in contact with any sort of fecal matter.  A bit of a biology lesson: fecal matter is actually store above the rectum in the colon. It only moves into the rectum and out through the sphincter when you are defecating, or when you are ready to. There are only trace amounts that remain in the rectum or on the anus,  which can easily be washed away, and if you are looking for actual oral penetration of the anus, not even Gene Simmons’s tongue could make it to the colon. If you are really concerned, there are also things like enemas or anal douching that can help give that extra feeling of cleanliness, but do not overdo it. If you do choose to go this route, use clean water at a safe temperature. Over-douching can lead to a tear in the rectal lining. Infection is the real concern, here—the possibility of introducing bacteria  into our digestive tract from oral-anal contact. The dangerous bacteria  are e. coli, salmonella, intestinal parasites like giardia, and of  course viruses like Herpes and HIV. The good news is you can seriously minimize your risks. If  you are practicing safer sex and you know that  neither of you is HIV positive, has any STIs, and are free of parasites,   careful washing should be sufficient. You can shower together, which is always fun foreplay, anyway. One  technique I’ve learned is to fill the tub halfway, squat down, and engage in some manual stimulation. If you do feel like it’s necessary to use soap, use a mild soap like Dove. You don’t want to upset your microbiome. Press the pad of your finger gently against the tissue of the finger and move in gentle circular motions until you feel it begin to relax and welcome penetration. Turn your finger around a few  times, so the water washes away any residue in and around the  area. If you or your partner are still hesitant, you can use a dental dam (think of it like a condom for the mouth). You can  also approximate one of these using unlubricated condoms (don’t use any  lubricated ones or any with spermicide!) Now, on to the fun part—actually doing the thing. It helps to get relaxed. A  sensual massage from the giver to the receiver can only be helpful.  Whatever you can do to relax each other, do it. Find a position that is comfortable and allows access to the area in question. Popular positions include being on all fours, or standing and leaning over the bed/counter/arm of the couch for two reasons: it provides maximum exposure but still  allows for genital play, and it is the most vulnerable.  One of the turn-ons of rimming can be the surrender in it. You are  opening up parts of yourself to a lover that are generally not touched—not  only that, they have been culturally shunned and rejected. Many of our  associations with the anus are negative: that it is a “bad” part of the body. This is a way to give yourself wholly  and completely to your partner, and for your partner to accept you that  way as well. These positions also allow the receiver to hide their face in a  pillow at first to deal with any shame that comes up.

With any new sexual experience, I would encourage a session of after care. Check in with your partner. Tell them what feels good both in the moment, and afterward. Ask your partner how they are feeling now that they have shared that experience with you. Show them your appreciation through words of affirmation or gentle physical contact.

So, yeah, in general our meat suits are a little gross, but this is no more gross or shameful than anything else you can do with your body, but there are appropriate ways to have that conversation with your partner and maybe share a new experience together.

I hope this helps, friend!

[spideychelleee]

MJ FFH Analysis

I LOVE that they stayed true to MJ’s character in FFH but still allowed her to have a bit more depth. Get comfy, this is long. It gets really deep towards the end oof. Welcome to my part rant part analysis of Peter and MJ in FFH:

First of all, can I just say that MJ is represented so well. I’m so glad that she is still wearing casual clothing and little makeup and lets her curls run wild. I have naturally curly hair but always straighten it cuz i feel like i look crazy with it curly but after seeing MJ, Im starting to realize that I should just rock what I got. And I feel like her portrayal has this effect on every teen and adult that watches her on the big screen. She inspires everyone to just BE YOURSELF. Ugh yessssssss

Ok now onto the scenes. Almost immediately, we hear our very own Spider-Parker has got a 6 STEP PLAN to impress MJ. This man is crushing. Hard. Many people were disappointed that this sudden liking for MJ came “out of nowhere” but, as countless other blogs have mentioned, relationships CAN develop off screen. Especially friendships. Wow who knew. Peter and Ned were friends right when Hoco began and no one had a problem with buying their friendship. The period after Hoco when MJ becomes team captain to Infinity War is long enough for these two to become actual friends and for Peter to realize how awesome she is. And let’s not forget that it’s been 8 months since the Blip (ew) happened. The Blip 100% brought everybody closer, whether they liked it or not. And the fact that Peter knows MJ’s favorite flower and the reasoning behind said favorite flower hints that they have been getting closer.

The airplane scene yesss: Our girl MJ is not afraid to stand up for Peter when Flash makes fun of him. And omg the way his face lights up after she does that. I think that interaction with Flash was a great way to show the antis that MJ is not mean spirited like Flash can be. Yes, she is sarcastic, blunt, and a little morbid (she clearly likes crime investigation guys), but she is not rude. She isn’t afraid to stand up for the “little guy” (in this case Peter hahaha irony). Also in this scene we get one of our first peaks at awkward Peter and MJ when he slams the bathroom door in her face HA. Their wide eyed expressions say it all. And the fact that MJ puts her ear to the door to hear wtf he is doing is just a continuation of how observant she likes to be. Oof I love this whole scene. and if a boy ever cleaned the bathroom for me i would marry him

THE BO (boh?) SCENE. This is our first glimpse of excited MJ and I love it. She is more than just rbf and sarcastic MJ. She has normal human emotions that she seems comfortable to let show only around...drum roll...Peter!!! I’m not sure if she went looking for him or just saw him outside of the store she was in but either way she excitedly ran over just to tell him about a new word she learned and what she had been doing. Let’s note that both of these characters are clearly fine doing something alone, yes including Peter. The rest of the class went their separate ways in groups while Peter went to buy the necklace by himself and MJ went to learn about Italy by herself. But, if they were to hang around anyone, they would rather it be each other. So now they are alone together (wow look at that beautiful oxymoron). MJ comes out of literally nowhere with a skip in her step. You can clearly see how excited she is to just talk to Peter about her new favorite word. She’s finally opening up around him. But MJ is still is her normal sarcastic self when she shuts down that guy with the roses implying that they looked like a couple (cuz they do). AND this woman has the NERVE to say “bo” is her new superpower to someone with actual superpowers. She knew what she was saying and it was purely intentional cuz she loves messing with Peter. And of course MJ noticed Peter was holding a bag and asked about it. Observant, remember? His response was perfect. MJ appreciated Peter’s smarta** response because it meant he was paying attention to her and it was exactly what she would have said. These two enjoy being around each other and can bounce off the other easily when their feelings don’t make things awkward.

That small scene in the hotel where Peter mentions going to Paris tomorrow is *chef’s kiss*. He is testing the waters just like she was in Hoco when she was trying to make friends. But this time, Peter is trying to see if his plan is going to hold up and if she is remotely interested in Paris at all. Her response is pure MJ. And naturally, Peter is a little taken aback by her random, dark fact about the Eiffel Tower but she follows with it being her favorite destination on the whole trip. She would normally stop at the morbid fact with anyone else, but with Peter she offers a little more insight to how she’s feeling. 

Brace yourselves #1: THE OPERA SCENE. Let’s establish that MJ really gives zero effs about Brad. This dude really trying to tell her he’ll save her a seat HA. Good one Brad. You can feel how uncomfortable she was the minute he said that. And that’s when our hero Peter Parker swoops in cuz he can’t let this happen. This boy summons all the courage in the entire world to tell MJ she looks “really pretty”. And once again, her response is pure MJ. I feel like she has trouble interacting with people she likes because she just doesn’t know how to. But she saves Peter from wanting the ground to swallow him whole when she summons the courage to say “you look pretty too”. AHHHHH. This is the first time we have heard MJ compliment anyone. Like I said before, with anyone else *cough* Brad *cough*, MJ would have stopped at the “therefore I have value” line. HOWEVER, with Peter, she is continuously opening up little by little. And she takes matters into her own hands by cleverly asking Peter if he wants to sit next to her. And yet again the audience sees another first timer for MJ. She is nervous. We NEVER have seen her nervous. She is usually calm, cool, and collected. But not with Peter. I can’t reiterate this enough. She’s finally breaking down her walls and for no one else but Pete. AND she finally decides to run after him when she catches him leaving. She knows he wouldn’t ditch her for no reason. She’s got a hunch that he’s hiding something or that something is wrong and she wants to find out and maybe help.

Brace yourselves #2: we are going into the bridge date walk thing these two dorks managed to accomplish. At the hotel, MJ immediately asks Peter where he was. No one else asked him that. Not even Mr. Harrington, which would be his job lol. She also says “we missed you” and “glad you’re back” and gives a weak smile. We all know really she meant “I missed you”. You ain’t that slick girl. And Peter’s excuses are just getting worse and worse. “I got lost” jeez come on man what was that. She 100% (or 67%) knows he’s lying to her. ANYWHO, Peter and MJ clearly both want to hang out because she opens the door the minute he was about to knock. She spares his rambling with a definitive “yes” cuz she is eager to go on a date walk with this dork. And Peter is freaking out cuz omg she wants to meet in 5 minutes instead of 10. That line alone shows MJ’s eagerness and how she will take matters into her own hands if need be. And the entire walk out of the hotel these two COULD NOT STOP SMILING. This is just another example of how giddy MJ gets around Peter.

Ok actual bridge scene: Once more, we see MJ in a particularly vulnerable state. She’s trying to find something to talk about and nervously tells Peter yet another morbid fact about the Charles Bridge. AND AGAIN, SHE DOES SOMETHING SHE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE. She apologizes. MJ is so nervous that she said the completely wrong thing and made things weird that she says “sorry”. She is so goddamn vulnerable around Peter it’s not even funny. And she was so excited to tell Peter that she knows he’s Spiderman that she cuts him off from his feelings confession HA. And of course Peter is shooketh. Because all this girl does to Peter is make him shooketh and catch him off guard, and visa versa. But MJ won’t hear his lame excuses anymore cuz she’s got the receipts. Our girl has actual evidence that ended up cracking the whole omg Mysterio is a fraud situation. AND UGH, when Peter asks if she was only watching him because she thought he was Spidey. And she LIES. MJ is “obsessed with telling the truth” and yet she goes against her character and lies to cover up the fact that she likes Peter because she is afraid of telling him how she really feels because what if he doesn’t like her back. Which is normal. MJ is not used to what she’s feeling around Peter and the minute she has the opportunity to confess she panics (like we all would).

I needed to start a new bullet point cuz that was getting long. Continuing with that scene: I love how Peter finally just admits that YES he is Spiderman (shocker) and he really messed up lol. Their little back and forth banter “are joking with me cuz it’s not funny” “I was only like 67% sure” “what are you doing on a school trip?!” is MJ both extremely excited and freaking the eff out at what is going on. In truth it’s a lot to process. The guy she likes is Spiderman and he just admitted it, she’s been carrying evidence to a major crime, they both just figured out together that Mysterio is gonna kill half of Europe, etc...MJ is showing her true human emotions to Peter and only Peter.

We continue to see MJ breaking down her walls in Peter’s hotel room. She’s actively trying to help him figure out what he is going to do about everything they just found out. She has emotional facial expressions. AND WOO MJ is revealed to be a hormonal teenaged girl who wants to look at Peter’s abs (don’t we all). But THE MINUTE Ned comes in, it’s like a light switch turned off. She goes back to being blunt “he didn’t tell me, I figured it out” and has no expression on her face. It really just goes to show how Peter brings out the best in her and ughhhh yesss

Ok this isn’t really analysis but Peter diving after MJ in that illusion (even after recognizing that it wasn’t real) goes to show how much he cares about her ok continue...

MJ is now a FOS (friend of Spiderman). She knows the danger that comes with being a FOS. She reminds Ned of this and urges that they should break off from the rest of the class. She doesn’t want others to get hurt on her account. It was a very brave thing for her to do. And she continues to be brave when she whacked the shit out of that drone with A MACE. And I love that MJ doesn’t have unrealistic levels of strength. Because she shouldn’t. She is a teenaged girl. She doesn’t have superpowers. The fact that she nearly dropped the mace on the floor is really realistic. it’s heavy. But she doesn’t need powers to have courage or to help save herself and her friends.

I love how in the vault MJ’s confession is that she is “obsessed with the truth and will always say it even if it hurts someone’s feelings”. Or something like that. And yes she is. Like I said before, MJ is not mean. Is she awkward? Yes. Does she sometimes not know how to continue a conversation? Yes. Are her interests dark and morbid? Yes. But she’s not a bully. She’s honest. Her personality is brutally honest and her appearance is brutally honest. She doesn’t try to look like someone she’s not to impress Peter. She doesn’t try to change her personality to please others. But she does indeed call you out on your bullshit when you are acting up. We need more people like MJ.

Brace yourselves #3: We are transferring into THE SCENE. Let’s all take a deep breath before we begin. Ok. MJ obviously cares about Peter. And obviously MJ is not a physical contact type of person. The minute the drones stop attacking, she runs to find Peter without a second thought. And what does she do? She hugs him. This isn’t a half ass hug either. She runs and launches herself into his arms. Which is an appropriate response because she didn’t even know if he was still alive. That’s when she pulls out The Necklace. I can only imagine how MJ must have felt when Happy gave that to her. I feel like in that moment she realized that hey, Peter might actually have feelings for her. And the fact that it was her favorite flower really sent her. She is so overcome with emotion that she interrupts Peter’s rambling yet again but this time with A PECK ON THE LIPS. And although she has an idea that Peter likes her now, you can still see all over her face that she’s waiting to see his reaction. SHES TESTING THE WATERS YET AGAIN PEOPLE. Just like she was doing in Hoco. I’m gonna make that my senior quote I swear I feel like I’ve said that so many times. AND THEN she admits that she has trouble getting close to people and that she lied about watching him just because he was Spiderman. (Btw Zendaya’s delivery was amazing and you could just see the emotion on her face and hear it in her voice.) That is a big step for MJ. Once again for the twentieth time in this rant/analysis, MJ is allowing herself to open up around Peter. And it’s a little scary for her but she does it anyway. 

BUT WAIT THERES MORE. “I actually like it better broken”. Of course she does. Tattoo this quote on my forehead. I changed my mind, this will be my senior quote. The amount of depth in that line is insane. Broken. The necklace. It’s broken. The boy standing in front of her has just had his ass handed to him, his face is bloodied and he’s limping. He is physically broken. He’s also witnessed the death of his uncle and Ironman, both important father figures in his life. Not to mention the trauma he’s been through fighting Thanos and being manipulated by Mysterio. He is mentally broken. MJ probably comes from a troubled household. Her family is broken (probably). The fact that MJ and Peter and half the universe were dusted and lost 5 years of their lives with zero say. The world is broken. But MJ doesn’t mind. She straight up tells Peter that she doesn’t care that times are tough or that it’s dangerous to be close to him. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger am I right? AND THEN she really admits, I’m talking blatantly, flat out, no sugar, clear as day, states “I really like you too”. WEVE GONE FULL CIRCLE YET AGAIN. She has officially opened up to Peter ladies and gents. Like really opened up this time. Full on. And then he nervously wiggles in to peck her lips and she gives him a shy smile. And then we get a full on K I S S and she’s got the courage to put her hand on his neck. Wow. The amount of shy smiles she gives Peter in this entire scene is just too much to count. And she MAKES A JOKE. And it’s not a sarcastic one. She awkwardly grabs that mace and pretends to beat someone’s ass “just in case” ahhhhh.

When Peter and MJ nervously hold hands in New Jersey. Yeah. And she’s wearing the broken necklace. And one final time we see MJ saying something blunt “nobody really pays attention to you” cuz that’s who she is but then adding how she really feels immediately after “except for me” all because she is with Peter. And only Peter makes her do that.

Oh and MJ freaking out and screaming at the top of her lungs was yet another relatable aspect that makes her so lovable. For the ten millionth time, she tries to play it cool around Peter, but he ends up breaking down her walls.

That was so long. I’m so sorry. If you made it this far you’re the real MVP and I appreciate it.

[beccaland]

Beccaland reads and responds to an article about Doctor Who that she really should have known better than to have read in the first place

You know how you KNOW you should never read the comments sections, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself? That’s usually how I feel about reading articles about Doctor Who during the past few years, except from a handful of trusted sources. Yet there I was this morning, checking my regular email from Tor.com, and out of a slightly-morbid curiosity, I found myself reading “How It Feels to Want to Watch Doctor Who Again” by Alex Brown.

Partly, I really am interested in the fans who are getting interested in Doctor Who again. They left for a lot of reasons, and really you can’t begrudge anyone’s waning interest in a TV show. And it would be far, far more silly to begrudge them regaining interest! I’m excited for the awesome changes that are coming on October 7th, too. And I am fully aware that not every era is every fan’s cup of tea. On the other hand, I also know that I’m frequently irritated by the shallow criticism levelled in order to “justify” some fans’ disaffection. So there I was. Reading an article I knew very well was probably going to annoy me, like a masochist.

And just because I feel like it, I’m going to quote a bunch of it and offer my own commentary. I’m going to be as fair as I can, noting where I think a given critique is valid, where I think it’s valid but still disagree, and where I think it’s the same old tired, inaccurate nonsense.

Here we go:

“I miss Doctor Who.”

ME TOO!

“There was a time when I watched it fervently, reverently, passionately. It was something I put on when I was stressed or overwhelmed or needed to be reminded of the good things in life. The relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was powerful and affirming.”

Yeah, I do that too, but I never really stopped.

“Until suddenly it wasn’t.”

I mean, sure. Doctor Who did something on a purely personal and emotional level for the author, and then it stopped. That’s totally fair.

This actually happened to me with the novels in the ‘90s–they just weren’t doing enough for me imaginatively or emotionally anymore to justify the challenge of finding them and the expense of buying them. It happens. (I still wanted Doctor Who in my life though, so I rewatched my VHS tapes instead, until they had degraded in quality to the point where that wasn’t very fun either.)

“The show twisted into something unrecognizable and unpleasant. And so I abandoned Doctor Who just as it had abandoned me.”

The really negatively loaded language here bugs me a lot, but this article is a personal fan narrative more than it is a review, and it’s impossible to refute a subjective response. Clearly, it’s true that Alex Brown and the show were no longer on the same wavelength. So, fair enough.

“If you asked me in 2016 if I would ever watch Doctor Who again, I probably would’ve shaken my head and sighed. The chances of the show making the kind of changes necessary to pull me back seemed slim to none. But here we are, fall 2018, and I am so excited about the Season 11 premiere that I can barely stand it.”

I’m really happy about everyone coming back. I share this excitement!

[I’m omitting a couple of paragraphs here where Brown describes more of what Doctor Who meant to her when she first encountered the show during an obviously extremely difficult time in her life. It’s really moving, and I find it relatable in some ways.]

“With the takeover by Steven Moffat in 2010, my relationship with the Doctor shifted dramatically. As much as I loved Doctor Who, I wasn’t blinkered to its myriad problems.”

See, my issue with this is simply that it implies that people like me ARE “blinkered by its myriad problems.” We’re not. But sometimes we disagree about what those problems are, or where the blame (and praise) for those problems (and their amelioration) properly lies. Hence this post.

“Trouble was, the annoying but tolerable issues were magnified into something unbearable by Moffat’s numerous faults as showrunner. Under Moffat, seasons went from episodic romps loosely knitted together by repeating themes—think “Bad Wolf” Easter eggs throughout the first season—to Lost-style mystery box seasons bogged down in an increasingly convoluted and grimdark mythology.”

I think it’s fair to say that the series 6 arc in particular was much heavier than previously attempted by the show, and this was a turnoff for some viewers. Personally, I liked it a lot conceptually, but I acknowledge that it could have been better executed. It’s also not representative of Moffat’s whole era; he experimented a lot with structure. That in itself was probably frustrating to some viewers–again, I liked it a lot, but that’s neither here nor there.

However, calling the Moffat era “grimdark” is frankly bizarre. It seems to confuse a shift in LIGHTING with a shift in TONE. The Moffat era’s TONE was, if anything, substantially more hopepunk than the RTD era (to say nothing of Torchwood, which Brown also professes to adore).

“River Song, Cybermen, Daleks, and the Master work best when used sparingly,”

Yeah, I agree.

“but Moffat dragged them out of the toy box so often that they lost their appeal.”

A criticism that (aside from River, for whom YMMV) applies equally to the RTD era.

“Even the Doctor suffered from too much focus. Doctor Who is a show that flourishes when it cares more about the people the Doctor helps than the Doctor. The Doctor is much more interesting as a character who drops into other people’s stories than when everyone else exists only to serve the Doctor’s narrative.”

This is a matter of taste, and on that level cannot be refuted.

But I’m not actually sure it’s true that the stories in the Moffat era focused more on the Doctor than was the case in previous eras. It didn’t seem that way to me. I suppose one could develop some way of objectively evaluating the validity of that premise, but I’m not going to go to that much trouble.

“Worse, women went from equals with their own vibrant lives to codependent followers.”

This is not merely a matter of personal taste. It is an assertion about content of the sort which could hypothetically be supported by evidence. If it were true. And it is literally the opposite of true. It’s a gross mischaracterization of the Moffat era companions, and moreover ignores the sometimes-problematic characterizations of the RTD era companions. I’m skipping the rest of that paragraph, which merely rehashes worn-out, shallow readings of Amy and Clara’s characters. I have nothing to say about those arguments that I haven’t said elsewhere before.

“[Moffat’s] seeming disdain for how fans interpreted the series,”

Showrunners SHOULD disdain how fans interpret their work. Or, more accurately, they should ignore it. Since fans are a motley bunch, the alternative would be a total lack of creative vision, either deeply bland or utterly fractured.

“for critiques of his own biases and bigotries,”

In reality, Steven Moffat demonstrated a remarkable openness to critiques of his biases and made steady progress in addressing them both in front of the camera and behind the scenes.

“and for the depth the show was capable of became a virus that infected everything.”

From where I sit, Doctor Who demonstrated far more depth during the Moffat era than during the RTD era (and some of the deepest scripts in RTD’s era were written by Moffat and according to RTD, barely touched by his editorial influence). I’m willing to consider the possibility that the RTD era displayed depths that I failed to perceive, but given the number of times I’ve rewatched it and the fact that I study texts for a living, I have to say I think that’s a long shot. I would welcome a persuasive analysis of the depths of the RTD era.

“I have never been one to shy away from dropping shows that I no longer like, but I held onto Doctor Who longer than I should have. I finally tapped out after the frustrating penultimate episode of Season 6, “The Wedding of River Song.” Reductive, repetitive, and boring, the episode encapsulated everything I couldn’t stand about Moffat’s storytelling.”

OK, Brown has got a point there. I love TWORS for purely personal reasons (it was just FUN, in the same way that the more crazy-ambitious failures often are in Doctor Who), but I’m under no illusions about its quality. In addition to being “reductive [and] repetitive” that episode was also rushed and full of holes. I didn’t find it boring, but that’s a subjective thing.

It’s a bit weird though that Brown claims to have quit watching Doctor Who at the end of series 6, since earlier she critiqued both Clara and Moffat’s “over"use of Missy, both of whom post-date Brown’s purported exit. Hmm. Seems like (as is not uncommon, in my experience) people who dislike Moffat base a lot of their dislike on mere hearsay.

"Although Moffat drove me away from Doctor Who, other factors kept me from coming back. A not insignificant chunk of my exhaustion came from the frustratingly limited diversity and the frequently poor treatment of characters of color—see Martha and Bill, plus the weirdness around the few major interracial relationships.”

OK, this is approximately half fair. There WAS a frustrating lack of diversity which continued well into Moffat’s era. Martha and her weird marriage to Mickey are RTD’s doing entirely. And the author claims not to have ever seen series 10, so she’s hardly in a place to evaluate Bill’s treatment (which, for the record, seemed pretty great to me–vastly better than in any previous era, anyway, though there’s no doubt that there is still room for improvement).

“Prior to Season 11 there had never been an Asian or South Asian companion despite the fact that people of South Asian ancestry make up nearly 7% of the population of England and Wales, according to the most recent census. Islam is the second largest religion in the UK, yet Muslims are also largely absent from the show, and certainly from the role of companion.”

This is a totally fair criticism.

“Moffat said it was hard to cast diversely without impinging on historical accuracy,”

Gonna want a citation for that one; I admit it’s possible he said something like that at some point but I feel like I would remember if he had.

“a notion that is patently false and wholly ignorant of actual history.”

A point which Sarah Dollard makes in the series 10 episode “Thin Ice,” with the enthusiastic approval of Moffat himself.

“To be fair, Moffat also admitted this claim was nonsense and rooted in a white-centric view of history and acknowledged that the show needed to do better…then made absolutely no changes.”

Thanks for being fair…almost. In fact he made substantial changes during his tenure, though most happened after Alex Brown quit paying attention. Seems to me that if you’re going to write an article for a blog affiliated with a major SF publisher, you might actually want to check your facts rather than relying on information that’s several years out of date (if it was ever true).

“And don’t even get me started on frequent Moffat collaborator and Who writer Mark Gatiss who infamously whined about diversity initiatives ruining historical accuracy because they cast a Black man as a soldier on an episode about Queen Victoria’s army battling Ice Warriors on Mars.”

Yeah, this I do remember. Ew, Gatiss! What were you thinking?

“Not to mention Moffat’s asinine declarations that we couldn’t have a woman Doctor becausehe 'didn’t feel enough people wanted it’ and 'This isn’t a show exclusively for progressive liberals; this is also for people who voted Brexit.’”

This is also the man who wrote the first-ever gender-changing regeneration (of the Doctor, no less!) in his comedy special, “The Curse of the Fatal Death,” the first female incarnation of a previously male Time Lord (Missy, who turned out to be incredibly popular), and the first official, non-comedy, on-screen gender-changing regeneration scene (the General, in Hell Bent), thus paving the way for even many of those non-liberal, Brexit-voting audiences to accept a female Doctor, and making it virtually impossible for the BBC not to do it without looking like total assholes (though by that point they were totally on board and needed to further persuasion).

But sure, go ahead and cherry-pick a couple of real-but-not-representative Moffat quotes to perpetuate your misogynistic Moffat pseudo-narrative.

[Cutting the rest of that paragraph because it adds nothing to the critique]

“Why can’t we have a trans or disabled companion? Why can’t the Doctor be a queer woman of color?”

These are totally legitimate questions, and we should keep asking them.

“Do you know what it’s like to be told by someone in a position of power that you don’t belong here? That you are an aberration, a glitch in the matrix, that including you would be so inaccurate that it would collapse the narrative structure of a fictional television show that features a frakking alien traveling through time in a police box?”

Yes. I do.

And when you dismissed Amy and Clara as mere sexist stereotypes, mere codependent hangers-on of the Doctor, you re-inflict that wound on me and many other fans, because you’ve been granted a position of power, a platform in the blog of a major international SF publisher.

“Hearing that message all the time from pop culture is hard enough, but to get it from my favorite show was heartbreaking.”

I feel ya, Alex Brown. This needs to continue to be addressed.

But I’ll also remind readers that the Moffat era, despite its still-too-limited representation, gave us more disability representation than any other era of the show up to that point.

“Cut to the Jodie Whittaker announcement in July, 2017. For the first time in years, I watched the Christmas special—live, no less. To give credit where credit is due, Moffat’s swan song exceeded my (very low) expectations and Peter Capaldi was as excellent as I hoped he’d be. Whittaker had almost no screen time, but what she did get left me with a smile a mile wide.

"On top of her pitch-perfect casting, Thirteen will also be joined by three new companions, one a Black man and another a woman of Indian descent. Plus, the Season 11 writers’ room has added a Black woman, white woman, and a man of Indian descent. Several women will also be directing. New showrunner Chris Chibnall proclaimed that the renovated show will tell 'stories that resonate with the world we’re living in now,’ and will 'be the most accessible, inclusive, diverse season’ ever produced.

"These changes go beyond tokenism and into real diversity work. The show isn’t just sticking a woman in the titular role and patting themselves on the back. Diversity can’t just be about quotas. It must be about inclusion and representation in front of and behind the camera. Marginalized people need to be able to tell our own stories and speak directly to our communities. The majority already gets to do that, and now that conversation needs to happen across the board. The show still has a lot of work to do, both in terms of undoing the status quo of harmful tropes and in laying strong groundwork for later casts and crews. Yet, somewhat surprisingly, I feel hopeful for the show’s future.”

I totally agree with these three paragraphs (except I had high expectations of TUAT, which were also exceeded). In fact these paragraphs are a big part of why I felt like this article was worth sharing. I just couldn’t do it without significant reservation.

“And isn’t hope what the show is really all about? Doctor Who is a story about the hope for a better tomorrow, faith in your companions, and trust that you’re doing the right thing. It’s about a hero using their immense powers responsibly and in order to benefit those who need it the most. The Doctor creates space for the marginalized to stand up and speak out, to fight for their rights against those who would silence or sideline them.”

I’m not totally sure that that’s ever really been true before, but it’s an ongoing aspiration that the show keeps moving closer to.

“For too long, that ideal was lost to puzzle boxes, bloated mythology, and trope-y characters”

No it wasn’t. See above.

“but with the appearance of each new Thirteenth Doctor trailer, my hope grows a little more.

"It’s not often that you find your way back to something you loved and lost. At first, Doctor Who was a touchstone during my trials and hardships. Then it became a cornerstone in the foundation of the new life I was building. For a long time I left it encased in a wall, hidden in the basement of my subconscious, untouched and unwanted. Yet here I stand, sledgehammer in hand, putting a hole in that wall. I have set free my love of Doctor Who as Jodie Whittaker cheers me on. October 7 can’t come soon enough.”

This sentiment is really lovely. Welcome back, Alex Brown, and every other fan returning to Doctor Who after an absence of any length and for any reason. It’s shaping up to be a great new era.

Please remember, though, when talking to other fans, that other eras meant as much to some of them as this one means to you, and for similar reasons.

To those who are leaving because of toxic discourse about previous eras making them feel like their presence isn’t welcome and/or participating in fandom right now will only cause them pain: I’m going to miss you. I hope your DVDs and Big Finish and stuff continue to bring you joy. I hope you’ll come back again when it’s safe to do so.

To those who are leaving because they don’t like the idea of a female Doctor and/or two POC companions: BYE BYE! To be honest, nobody will miss you, but nevertheless I hope that eventually you realize how silly and harmful your biases are. When you do, I hope you’ll come back to Doctor Who. And you’ll be welcome.