#welcome to kraghammer

[scattergoriesofevil]

Started rewatching Vox Machina and I had forgotten that in the first evening we are ever seeing them, everyone else is getting up to trouble or taking the night off except Keyleth and Percy. Their server at the inn asked for positive written comments after being very helpful, but they only had a little scrap of paper to work with. They spent much of the evening patiently creating very formal comment cards (with calligraphy!) and then made everyone fill them out. The future Architect of Enlightened Progress of the Chamber of Whitestone and the Voice of the Tempest, taking a small act of kindness and diplomacy extremely seriously.

[robinchan-hananomi]

Scanlan: Why don’t we adjourn for the evening? Retire to our rooms.

Percy: Oh god, yes

Vex: Can I take the mouse? Can I take Trinket?

Scanlan: Here, a rat-mouse thing *hands over polymoorphed Trinket*

Vex: Okay! Hi Trinket!

Vax, toasting with a drink: Dwarven Compatriots, we could not have expected a better welcome ah, here in Kraghammer! We’ll see you tomorrow night for round two, thank you!

[sacredreadingcr]

Sacred Reading CR Podcast: Arrival at Kraghammer C1E1 Part One

In our first episode, we discuss and examine the first half of Arrival at Kraghammer (C1E1) through the lens of Sacred Reading practices with Alyssa and Claire.

If you're interested in joining Claire on this podcast and sharing your perspectives, please reach out to her via email or on tumblr and she'll send you the sign up form. She cant wait to chat with you all!

In the meantime, please comment, like, subscribe below and follow us on tumblr @sacredreadingcr for all the juicy updates!

[peach-the-owl]

Maybe one with Kima and Allura? The reader is an artist and one day they start to leave little notes with sketches for them in random places where they can find them and it's just them being a good friend trying to make them smile during the day.

Aww, I love Kima and Allura so much, their relationship is just so precious 🥰 I hope this turned out well

Also might’ve let myself get carried away with the idea, it’s a bit long 😅

Little Notes

Allura & Kima & Artist!Reader (Platonic)

You were making your way over to Allura's for a visit knowing she had been stressing out over Kima being missing from her mission in Kraghammer and hoping to calm some of those nerves. You walk up to the doors of her tower and give a knock, after a small wait the door opens to reveal the arcanist herself.

"(Y/n)! It’s been awhile, how are you?" She asks slightly surprised by your sudden appearance.

"Hello Allura, sorry about not informing you of my arrival." You sheepishly scratch at the back of your head in apology. "Do you mind if I come in? If not I can just-"

"No no, it’s alright." She stops you and steps out of the way for you to enter the tower. You welcome yourself in and go to sit in your usual spot whenever you’d visit. "I’m actually glad you decided to pop in, I’ve needed a distraction what with everything going on." Allura admits. At this point you pull out your sketchbook and pencil you always carry with you and start to add some fine line work to a piece you’d been working on for weeks now, never seeming to get it quite right.

"I know you’ve been stressing over this, which is exactly why I wanted to come over. So why don’t you tell me about what you’ve been up to recently." You suggest, not looking away from your drawing. You knew this wouldn’t bother Allura because for the years you've known each other, while it looked like you weren’t paying attention to the conversation you actually were, listening very carefully to every word being spoken to you. Allura went on to tell you about her work with the council and some of the worries she has for Kima, you adding in your own thoughts to the conversation every now and again. She then told you about her allies, the adventuring group known as Vox Machina that she asked to help find Kima, you knew about this group and what they did for the royal family but didn’t know them as personally as Allura did.

"I just hope nothing terrible has happened." Allura finally concludes after her long rant. You give an amused hum and sigh, taking proper notice that you’d wandered away from your project and had several random doodles covering the page. However instead of hindering you this placed a wonderful idea into your head.

"Relax Ally, if these people are as capable as you say then they’ll find Kima in no time. Just relax and breath, alright." You look up at her this time seeing her nod and take a few deep breaths. While she was distracted with that you carefully tear out some of the doodles, writing little messages of encouragement on the back of them and stand up. You sneakily slipping one of the notes between the cushion of the chair having it stick out just enough to be noticeable but not too obvious. "It’s been lovely, thank you for having me over but it’s getting late. I should really be making my way home."

"Allow me to walk you out." Allura offers which you happily accept, sneakily hiding the little drawings along the way in various places for Allura to hopefully find later. "I really appreciated the visit, helps to confide in a friend. You’re welcome back anytime." Allura gives you a quick hug that you return before the two of you part ways until next time.

It had been a while since your little visit and felt it only fair to check in and see how everything was going. When you arrive you’re relieved to see that Kima had returned in one piece, while Allura was occupied with thanking Vox Machina for their efforts you quietly shuffle over. You then watch as Kima and Allura share a small moment by staring at each other before they run into each other’s arms, you smile a little at this before deciding to quickly jump in.

"No it’s fine, just pretend I’m not here." You joke gaining everyone’s attention, you walk over to the two and without missing a beat Kima gives you a playful punch in the arm. "I swear to Bahamut Kima, you’re gonna break my arm one of these days." You slightly hiss from the pain.

"Nah if I meant to do that, it'd already be broken." Kima says slyly, you roll your eyes before properly hugging your friend, slipping a little note you’d made into her armour.

"Well now who’s this one?" The red Dragonborn asks. After some proper introductions with the group Allura invites everyone into her tower for tea, you hang back a second unsure if you should join them or just head home early.

"Don’t just stand there, the offer stands for you too." Allura gives a warm smile and ushers you inside.

"I know I just didn’t want to feel like I was overcrowding the place, plus I’m sure you’d like to catch up with Kima." You say meekly. You make your way up and automatically go to sit in your usual spot, pulling out your sketchbook as both a distraction and to continue on a commission for a client you’d received. Enjoying some tea and listening to the conversation between everyone else, Kima leans over your shoulder to look at your work.

"The hell is that supposed to be?" She asks quietly, staring at your drawing.

"Art." You reply cheekily. You catch her rolling her eyes at the corner of yours.

"I know what it is, but what is it?"

"The client asked for something abstract, so this is the result so far." You precede to erase and redraw a few of the lines you’d made until you felt satisfied.

"I don’t get it." You stifle a laugh, Kima didn’t really have an artistic eye but you appreciated that she at least tried to understand your craft whenever the two of you got to interact with each other.

"Shouldn’t you be involved in this conversation? Not to be rude or anything but it sounds important." You look up at Kima now to which she scratches at the back of her head, you can now see the blush on her cheeks.

"His questions were making me a little uncomfortable." She gestures over to the goliath, Grog. You give a reassuring pat her on the shoulder, sneaking another note into her armour before you realize something.

"Sorry to interrupt but what time is it?" After some fumbled reply’s Allura gives you her best estimation. "I have to go, I’ve got client to meet today and sooo much work to do. Thank you for the tea Allura, it was lovely to meet you all and thank you for safely bringing Kima back." You give a bit of a rushed goodbye as you gather up your things and hurry out of the tower, pausing briefly at the door to hide one more note for Allura to find later.

Time came and went, work piled up leaving you busy to no end, the only contact you had with your friends being the letters you’d write each other telling of what you’d been up to. However once the dragons came your world went crashing down, you had longed for a break away from all the work on your shoulders but not like this. Your home was in shambles, your hard work that took you months to complete destroyed in seconds, you considered yourself lucky to have made it out alive. Now you were but another refugee in Whitestone praying for a miracle while doodling in your sketchbook, the only thing that survived with you albeit slightly charred at the corners.

"Oh my gosh! You’re alive!" You hear a familiar voice call, looking over to see Kima run up to you. You give each other hug and once you let go Kima punches your arm.

"Every time I swear." You sigh with a small laugh, rubbing your arm.

"Gotta keep that arm strength up for your art stuff." Kima jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Anyways, do you know where Ally is?" You shake your head.

"I don’t, but I assume she’s alive, that woman’s a tough cookie." Kima nods in agreement.

"Would you like to help us?" Keyleth asks.

"Me? No I couldn’t, I’ve never really been the adventuring type, I much prefer swinging around a paintbrush over a sword." You politely decline the offer. "But I would like to advise one thing," you pat Kima's shoulder, once again slipping in a note you’d made into her armour in hopes of bringing encouragement. "Don’t do anything rash that could get you killed." Kima gives a quiet "yeah I know" and with that you watch the party continue on their way.

You did what you could with what little resources you had to build up and regain some normality to your life, starting a little side business of making motivational cards for anyone needing an extra pick me up. Folks seemed to really like it, each card having a personalized picture and message written on it, doing what you could to help keep hope alive in these trying times. When you met up with Kima and Allura again Allura was relived to see you were still alive and standing strong. They invited you over to the abode they were staying at together, which put a new idea into your head. Before you arrived for your visit with them you had made more of your little notes for them, this time making a few that you hoped would help spark the romance between the two you’ve seen since day one (secret wingman). When you arrived they gave you a quick tour of the place, leaving opportunities for you to slip the notes into various places around the house, making you wonder if this time they were doing it on purpose having finally caught on to your little gimmick. You all sat down and sipped away at some tea or coffee while talking about the actions going forward, as the evening came you bid your friends a goodnight and made your way back to your temporary living quarters…

More time flew by, the Chroma Conclave was since defeated and Emon was slowly rebuilding itself, a time of peace finally setting in and you had a lot of work ahead of you if you were ever going to be able to buildup your home from scratch. The only downside was you didn’t have the gold to pay for everything, your work as an artist didn’t always pay a lot but it was enough to keep you stable but having to pay to acquire materials for the house and art studio was another story entirely. Your then approached by two very familiar people.

"Allura! Kima! So good to see you both again. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write or visit often lately, been quite busy trying to re-establish myself." You greet your friends and notice the large bag Kima's carrying.

"It’s alright we’ve been rather busy ourselves with everything going on. We actually wished to talk with you." Allura gives you a gentle smile.

"Well I’d normally like to welcome you into my home, but as you can see it’s… not much of a home yet." You half-joke gesturing to the still ruined state of your house, the broken paintings you once had all having been stripped away when the Cinder King still ruled.

"That was actually one of the things we wished to speak with you about, Kima if you would." She turns to Kima who in turn hulls the bag over her shoulder letting it clatter to the ground, and you can hear the jangling of coin inside. "I believe this should help accommodate everything you need for your home and work." You stare jaw dropped at the bag filled to the brim with gold.

"I-This is very generous of you. I simply can’t just take your money." You say out of shock at the large gold pile in front of you.

"Think of it as payment for all you’ve done for us." Allura smiles and gives you an expectant look.

"All I’ve done? I haven’t really done anything to help."

"Sure you have, back when Kima was missing finding those papers with the little drawings and messages really helped keep me calm and cheer me up through all the stress." Allura explains.

"Yeah, or the ones you managed to slip into my armour. Little distracting at first but invigorating when I was in a tough spot in battle." Kima jumps in. You just smile, all you were doing was trying to be nice and encouraging to your friends unknowing of the effects it apparently lead to.

"Still, not all is from us." Allura suddenly cuts into your thoughts, you look at her confused. "That was the second thing we wanted to talk with you about. Some of this is a sort of upfront payment for a few commissions from our friends, half now to help you and half later once you've completed their requests."

"There’s more!?" You were almost lightheaded from the information, but shake it off and refocus yourself. "I’d love to, please fill me in on all the details."

"First off Keyleth asked for a landscape piece of her home in Zephrah, Keyleth will easily help bring you to and from her home whenever you’re ready. Next Percy wanted a portrait made for castle Whitestone, he said he’d fill in the rest of the details upon your arrival. Finally," Allura gives a bit of a sigh, "there’s Taryon… he wants a, and I quote, 'self portrait made with nothing but the finest oil paints you can get your hands on for the Slayer's Cake.'"

"So basically the plan is to visit Whitestone once my home's rebuilt. That should be fine, one question though, who’s Taryon?"

"Trust me, you’ll know who he is when you meet him."

"Sounds like quite the character." You say with a hint of nervousness. "Well if that’s everything, I should get to work. Thank you again for everything." You go to collect the heavy bag of gold only to pause when you hear Kima speak up.

"Ally did you still wanna… you know ask about the thing?" She had leaned closer to Allura to ask but you still heard her.

"What thing?" You question to which Allura perks up a bit in realization.

"I almost completely forgotten. Right, there was one more, very special request." You look at the two in silence, Allura walks up to you and takes one of your hands in hers. "(Y/n), Kima and I have a very important and special request of you." You just nod and wait for her to continue. "We were wondering if you could make us something special for… for our wedding." You stare wide eyed in awe.

"You two are getting married? That’s amazing! About time too." You cheer.

"Not so loud please, we just want a simple and private wedding you know, a few eye witnesses for the event. You don’t have to make anything grand, if anything we’d like what you make to be similar to the notes you’ve always left us." You press your hands together and hold back the urge to just scream to the heavens in happiness for them. When you manage to calm yourself enough you look back that the couple and give them a large smile.

"I’d be honoured to make something for your wedding." You give them both a hug and reset your sights on your shambled home. "Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a house to get built."

"Hold on, I still have one more thing for you." Kima interrupts this time. Before you can ask you feel a punch impact your arm, you suck back the pain as you rub the spot she hit. "Alright now your free to start." She gives you a smug look.

"Every. Single. Time." You playfully glare back. You had a long road ahead of you and you were certain it’d only be a matter of time before the peace is disturbed again but for now you wanted to focus on the present. Like you said, you had a lot of work to do.

[kimabutch]

“So,” Kima says, from across the dinner table, “tell me about these adventurers of yours.”

It’s Allura’s first evening back in Tal’dorei following her hasty trip to Nicodranas. Kima and the Council both successfully pleaded with her to come home instead of waiting nervously in Yussa’s tower, and Kima even prepared her trademark roast chicken as a welcome-home dinner. From their dining room window in their tower, Allura can see the bird’s eye view of Emon, its stone streets blooming to life with the coming spring. It’s a beautiful and comforting sight — despite the Menagerie Coast’s fine sea views, Emon will always be home. 

Allura sighs, turning to her wife. “I don’t even know where to begin. They’re rather… perplexing.” 

“Well, you’re always saying to start with what you know. Which ones do you know the most about?” Kima says. 

“Right. Well. There’s the wizard, Caleb.” 

“Of course you’d start with the wizard,” Kima says with a playful grin. “Have you met him before?”

Allura returns the smile. “Wizards don’t all know each other, and no, I’ve never met him before. But I’m fairly certain he’s from the Zemnian Fields.”

“Zemni… that’s where we were, right? Rexxentrum? With all those guys that you hated?”

Allura nods in approval. Kima’s never been one for politics, but she tries for her sake, and Allura appreciates the effort. 

“Hate is a strong word, perhaps. I found many of the methods at the Soltryce Academy and the politics among the Cerberus Assembly a little unsettling.”

“Yeah, they were creepy fuckers,” Kima says. “So is this wizard from the Academy?”

“Well, that’s what’s interesting — I’m fairly certain that he’s not aligned with them anymore. Certainly Yussa would not involve himself with an active member of the Assembly, or anyone involved with the Academy. He has a stronger distaste for Rexxentrum than me. Not to mention that he was wearing a cloak that I believe is of Xhorhassian design.”

“Could he have been raised in Zemnia and defected to Xhorhas?”

“Maybe? I can’t imagine how he survived, however. The Empire is not easy on traitors, and Xhorhas is not known for its love of humans.”

“Huh. A tough wizard. Reminds me of someone I know,” Kima says, and Allura can feel her cheeks redden slightly. “Okay, so who else?”

“There’s another human, Beau, but not from Zemnia, as far as I can tell. I can’t quite pinpoint her accent, but by her clothing, she seems to be a monk. She was so clever with Yussa’s notes... I would hazard a guess that she trained with the Cobalt Soul.” 

“Those weird, Ioun-loving librarians? The ones in Vasselheim are always giving us a hard time at the Sanctuary.” 

“Actually, she reminds me a little of you when we were younger,” Allura says.

“How so?”

“Headstrong and… very blunt.” Kima begins sputtering protests, while Allura continues: “But passionate and protective of her friends. Thoughtful and resourceful, too.”

Kima’s protests turn into a blush. “You talk to all your girls that way?” she teases. 

Allura laughs and extends her hand across the table, intertwining her fingers with Kima’s. “Only to my dearest wife.” She rests for a moment, looking into Kima’s impossibly green eyes, crinkled at the edges with a fond smile. “It is strange, however,” she resumes, “that a member of the Cobalt Soul might be adventuring with a wizard who defected from the Assembly. The organizations are separate and Ioun knows that they don’t always get along, but they’re supposedly allies. Perhaps they fled the Empire together. That might explain how Caleb survived.”

“Huh. Well, I like her a bit better now.”

“I thought you would.”

“So that’s two. What about the one that you gave the mirror to?” Kima says. 

“Ah, yes. Jester. A tiefling — from the Menagerie Coast, I believe, given her accent. Certainly they are more prevalent by the Coast.”

“So is she the leader?”

“Perhaps in the same way that Scanlan still calls himself the leader of Vox Machina,” Allura says, and this gets a good laugh out of Kima. “But perhaps I’m being unfair. She is a little bit of a… jokester, as her name would suggest, but she’s clearly very powerful. She’s a mage of some sort, though I doubt that she’s a wizard...”

“So all wizards do know each other!” Kima says triumphantly.

“... Although if she makes use of divine magic, then she was not wearing any holy symbols that I recognized,” Allura continues, with a smile at her wife. “Caduceus, the firbolg, on the other hand — I’m fairly certain he wears Melora’s swirl in his clothing and earrings.”

“Fear… bulg?” Kima says, rolling the word around in her mouth. 

“A reclusive race — I don’t believe I’ve ever met one in Tal’dorei. They’re giant-kin, I believe, but somewhat bovine in appearance. They supposedly have an affinity with nature, which would explain his ties to the Wildmother, but not his interest in continental politics. But we are not bound by the general tendencies of our ancestors, I suppose.” 

“I hope not. Still haven’t met too many halflings that can kick ass,” Kima says. “So what’s the cow-man like?”

Allura stifles laughter at Kima’s unorthodox word choice. “Interesting, once again. He seemed a little confused.” 

“At what?”

“Everything, I suppose. He asked me whether I was a good archmage or a bad archmage.”

Kima rocks back in laughter. “Well, which one is it?”

“I told him that was a difficult philosophical question. Still, he gave me a… discerning look. Not magical, but thoughtful. He’s perhaps more insightful than he might initially appear,” Allura says.  

“Huh. Well, so long as he didn’t enchant you with his nature magic, that’s fine by me.”

“Indeed. His companion didn’t give me much to work with, either.” 

“Companion?” asks Kima.

“Fjord, the half-orc — his armour also seemed to have Melora’s symbol on it. Perhaps I’m assuming too much, however. I don’t know much more about him. He was polite, but quiet. An accent like mine, but that’s not exactly uncommon, even in Wildemount. You might have liked his sword. It was very ornate.”

“Better than my Holy Avenger?” Kima says, gesturing to the platinum greatsword that hangs on the wall. Allura sometimes wishes that she had won the debate about whether weapons should be allowed in the dining area, but she admits that the sword is beautiful. “I’d love to spar with him, though,” she continues. “Sounds like he’s the only one of these adventurers who can hold a sword.” 

“I’m sure you’d take him handily,” Allura says with a smile. “Although, I think there’s one more who can fight. The, ah, goblin, Nott.” 

“A goblin? Now that’s interesting. Haven’t really met one of them since Kraghammer.” Kima wrinkles her brow. “Better not tell Scanlan. He’d have a fit.” 

“I wasn’t planning to, no. I confess, I was surprised by her presence. Excepting Wensforth, I haven’t met many goblins who have ventured out of their clan. I would think that she’s from Xhorhas, where goblins are more openly accepted, except that her accent does not appear to be Xhorhassian in nature. Nor do goblins typically associate with humans — though, I suppose they don’t usually go adventuring into extraplanar device, either, so she’s unusual on several counts. Sneaky, too. She was hiding behind one of Yussa’s books for several minutes before she introduced herself.” 

“Huh. And you said she can hold her own in a fight?” 

“I believe so,” Allura says. “She carried a well-made crossbow with some confidence, and I saw a shortsword by her side. I could have also sworn that she had a pistol on her, but there wasn’t sufficient time to ask.”

“Ha! Better add Percy to the list of people you can’t tell about this.”

“I suppose so. I believe he’s abandoned the notion that he’ll stop the proliferation of his devices, but it does make him so upset.” Allura sighs. “Anyways, that’s the six of them. They call themselves the Mighty Nine.”

“So on top of all that, they can’t count?”

“Perhaps. Or they have other companions that are not with them at this moment. I should really call in some favours with my contacts in the Empire and ask them whether they’ve heard of this party, but I’ve been so busy trying to research this Angel in Irons.” Allura runs her hands through her hair in frustration. “A threat this level, and there’s barely a word on it —” 

Kima gets up from her seat, steps over to Allura, and gently takes her hand. “Ally, it’s okay. I know everyone keeps putting all of Exandria on your shoulders, but if Yussa’s made friends with a bunch of chucklefucks, that’s on him. It’s not your fault, I promise.” Holding her face, Kima kisses Allura deeply. She feels Allura relax in her hands and lay her arms around Kima’s waist. 

As they pull away, still holding each other, Allura smiles and whispers, “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too, babe,” Kima says, kissing her forehead. 

[maliro-t]

critical role or magicians, dealer's choice!

thank u!! just did magicians so here’s cr for u  🙏

the first character i ever fell in love with: This is an off brand answer, but Percy! He was my fave pretty much the whole time as I was catching up back in the day.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I’m probably in the minority in that I actually really did like Tiberius for a while but that has now Drastically changed for obvious reasons

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hm you know back when the first ep of campaign 2 aired I was immediately into fj/orester and be/auyasha but now that they are both canon I feel extremely neutral about both

my ultimate favorite character™: Vax :V

prettiest character: Tbh my first thought was Allura!

my most hated character: Tiberius (:

my OTP: I love all the endgame vm ships so much. also ki/mallura. also vax’ilm/ore.

my NOTP:  cal/eb/veth or jest/er/artagan

favorite episode: Passed Through Fire is a classic fave of mine- It was the first ep that aired after I was caught up (although I couldn’t actually watch it live), but it also exemplified my favorite thing about the show with its gut wrenching first half and can’t-stop-laughing second half PLUS the reveal at the end. Chef’s kiss.

saddest death: Vax :VVV

favorite season: Almost every ep in the whole final arc makes me cry so let’s go with that  🤡

least favorite season: Kraghammer

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: You know what, I stopped keeping tabs on what was popular so long ago that I literally can’t think of an answer for this. I am free at last.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Hi, if u didn’t know, this is the blog of Ripley fucker no. 1, welcome. She is abject evil and she is my absolute fave. (and like, Scanlan of course)

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Vax :VVVVVVVV (no, I really do love everything as is. but still). Also Keyleth, mostly in terms of the way the internet treated her.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Yeah apparently this isn’t my usual dynamic either; can’t think of one.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: shad/owgast and be@ujester (although those are more highkey), and most vax ships tbh. also grog/kerrek 🤡

[sarahsmiles1991]

Xena Sharptooth - Critical Role Fanfiction

Summary: Though she was banished by the clan, Lady Kima asks her to join on her quest to Kraghammer to go into the depth below to stop a great evil within.  Reluctant to go but agrees, Xena Sharptooth joins her; what dangers awaits her down there and who the hell are these clowns?!

Character Info Sheet

Name: Xena Sharptooth 30 ft Walking AC: 19

Class: Paladin lv. 9 Oath of Vengeance God: Bahamut

Race: Half-Orc Background: Urchin HP: 94

Armour: Mithril Breastplate Weapons: Animated Shield

Brooch of Shielding Flame Tongue Short-sword

Holy Symbol of Bahamut Platinum

Dragon attached by leather string and

hangs from her neck under her armour

Abilities

Strength: 20 (5+)

Dexterity: 16 (6+)

Constitution: 18 (4+)

Intelligence: 15 (2+)

Wisdom: 15 (2+)

Charisma: 16 (3+)

Saving Throws

Strength +8

Dexterity +6

Constitution +7

Intelligence +5

Wisdom (P) +9

Charisma (P) +10

Introduction/Background

Xena Sharptooth has lived as an urchin most of her life and being abandoned by her own mother she took to the street and stole food from the markets and earn gold by singing. However her luck rang out when the fruit seller caught and prepared to chop her hands off as punishment, but then an old Paladin by the name of Sir Alistair Brightworth, servant to Bahamut stopped this a says that he will take this half orc and make something out of her. With little to no choice but to go with the old paladin he takes her to the monastery and begins her training. As she grew she became a strong and skilful with a shield and sword and was given the test to become one of the generals.

Unfortunately, being a half orc the some of paladins and clerics were terrified, disgust and jealousy that such a creature would become one of the leaders. Before she could even start the test the head of the monastery struck a trial of scandal and murder on her; to her horror and sadness no one, not even her brothers and sisters in training took a stand with her and she was banished from the one place she thought was her true home. Now older and bitter Xena took to the mountains, killing bandits and evil creatures to take her mind off her anger and ignore the voice of a being who asks for forgiveness and redemption.

In town for a drink and supplies Xena comes across an old companion of hers, Lady Kima who she trained with. She pleads to Xena to come with her to Kraghammer to find a great evil that could be hidden within it’s depths; with great hesitation and a migraine from the voice in her head she agrees and goes with her to find this darkness and hopes that not only she makes it out alive but to have the voice stop talking to her.

Prologue

Xena Sharptooth was having a good day!

Not only did she get rid of the rest of the bandits that have been terrorizing a village but also found a bag of holding! How the bloody hell the leader came by such a thing is beyond her but she didn’t question it cause she can only imagine the vibrating purrs in her head would do.

Oh yes, ever since her banishment from the Paladins of Bahamut the Platinum Dragon, the stupid lizard has not let her forget that they have not forsaken her. No matter how much she tries to ignore them they seem to insist on sticking around, it didn’t really help that she was helping villages and other unpopular areas with their troubles for only a few things like food and sleep. Hell in a few minutes she is about to head out to farmers home and help them harvest their goods in exchange for a sack of vegetables, can’t exactly tell a god to fuck off when you are doing good deeds left and right.

Oddly though, as they tore her holy symbol from her armor they allowed her to keep it along with her weapons.

“The Platinum Dragon gave you those tools, though you have used them for your own gain than for others they are still yours.” one of the head ass-holes had explained as they dragged her out.

Scoffing at the whole situation, she puts the last of the goods in her new bag of holding, she puts the strap over her shoulder and makes her way to the village.

The breastplate, though showed it has seen many battles with scuff marks and a few dents here and there one could tell it was kept after Xena thanked the heavens that it was made out of mithril one of the sturdier metals in the world.

Xena hums, as she walks through the animal, made trail, feeling pretty good besides the few scars added to her body; particularly the one at her cheekbone almost making her lose her eye were it not for turning her head the last second.

There’s a spark inside us

that we can all ignite

and all that’s dark inside us

will flicker into light

Like any warrior who has been in battle; scars and wounds were merely accessories and reminders that they have survived her learned in a library that Orcs regard battle scars as tokens of pride and ornamental scars as things of beauty. Her light green colored skin showed all her scars with no help and also being like a beacon if any sort of light took a shine to her and as if she wasn’t so horrific to humans, the orcs gave pause at her green flesh while they had their grey pigmentation before charging at her to attack.

Of all the healers and friendly scholars she would come across none of them could explain what was going on with her skin, she can only assume it had something to do with her parents or a mutation.

There’s a power in every breath

there’s a power in every note

a power that starts within the heart

a power that rises through the throat

Her tusks though not prominent still like to remind people of her background when she grinned in amusement or gave a sneer at a threat. She was of course teased for her features and there had been times where she wanted nothing more than to file her tusks, they did help her in a pinch when she had to bite an offender who thought covering her mouth was a good idea, she still chuckles at that memory. Her wild black hair still a mess after one of the bandits cut the string holding it up, got a stab in the foot for that, cascaded down her shoulders and to the middle of her back. Normally she would either has it in a ponytail or a plait to keep it out of her face, never once considering getting it cut.

And when it sails up through the air

more beautiful than any prayer

this power can right all wrong

and it will always thrill the ear

of those who have the power to hear

the magic of a song

Now it was her eyes that gave her confounded her; wolf eyes some called them with the yellow glare piercing one's soul if you got close enough to her. No other orc or even half-orcs had the eyes she had, maybe it was the gods' idea of a joke since her skin already make her freak why not throw in wolf eyes, she could feel the lizard admonish her, it gave the locals the idea to nickname her Einn ulfur, Lone Wolf.

There’s a strength inside us

that tells us wrong from right

becomes a song inside us

to chase away the night

By the end of her singing, she made it to the village, it was still midday so there not a lot of people about what harvest time being near and going about their own life. Xena frequent the village a lot so no one really balked at the half-orc heading straight for their elders with a slight smirk on her face. The elders consisted of three female halflings; Shaena Underbough, Portia Tosscobble, and last and certainly not the least Lavina Goodbarrel. Lavina is the eldest of the three and was the first to welcome Xena into the village with open arms, even offering her a place to stay in her home after her banishment from Paladins.

“Ah! And there she is!” Elder Lavina crowed. “Merle! You owe me a pint!”

Merle, husband to Lavina chuckles. “Aye I never should wager against Ulfer, especially against you love.”

“The bandits are no more.” Xena reports, placing the bag of holding to the ground and pulling out all the goods and other useful things for the elders and village to use. “They will not be bothering you a moment longer and I have found some trinkets and the like for you all.”

Lavina raises an eyebrow at the goods. “For bandits going after a small village as ours makes one wonder why they even bother with all this shit.”

“Them swords will be of help for certain.” Shaena says, watching the pile of weapons grow. “Heaven knows our people need them when you go off into the world again, I must say again how much we appreciate your help luv.”

“Mmm.” Portia mumbles, placing her pipe next to her knitting project before getting up and going to inspect the goods. “Plus Jeorge will getting more than enough supplies for the winter with these, did you find your own trinkets to take?”

Xena presents the bag of holding to them with a smirk. “The leader somehow got his hands on this, it is enough for me to-”

“The pretty bag is not enough of a reward for what you have done Ulfer!” Portia interrupts, frowning up at her. “Shaena may just let you do that but I and many others will draw the line if we must! I am sure there is enough gold for you to take.”

With that along with a sound of offense from the other lady, Shaena picks up a rather large sack of what is clearly gold and places it in a bemused Xena’s hand. Shaena though the youngest is the much stricter of the three and much more wary of strangers; when Xena first arrived in the village after months on her own after banishment Shaena was very hesitant to lend a hand to the creature that limped it’s way to their little village with nothing but armor and weapons on her person asking for a simple cup of milk in exchange to help any way she can. Lavina swooped onto Xena before the other two could say anything and the next thing they knew they had a mean green fighting being who protected the village and provided help to others.

“Jeorge will be heading for the city early in the morning, best get cleaned and well-rested for the trip.” Lavina informs Xena, picking up what looks like a bottle of fancy wine.

Xena smiles at the ladies, giving them a nod before heading for Lavina’s townhouse to do just that. Many of the halflings who live in the village greet her as she passes by, along with thanks as she left.

The next morning as she ate the last of her second breakfast Xena Sharptooth was ready for the road along with Jeorge. It took nearly a day to reach the city and Xena slips a gold to Jeorge in thanks as she leaves to the nearest tavern for a late dinner and sees if there were any jobs for her to do.

The Hanging Man was a dwarf-owned tavern so the place looks more made of stone than wood but with how many brawls and fights started one was pretty smart to not have many things made of wood. A large fire pit where many types of meat were being cooked in the middle of the tavern sizzled through the air and made Xena’s mouth water as she could taste that goat leg she had been eyeing as she entered.

One of her favorite meats in the world before her and the bag of holding? Maybe the old lizard was onto something.

“Hello!” a bright-eyed elf wench greets from over the booth with a smile. “Welcome to the Hanging Man! My name is Amelia how may I help you?”

“Leg of goat and a pint of ale.” Xena orders, taking a seat.

“You mean lamb?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Xena gave it back. “No I mean that goat leg you have in the fire pit.”

Amelia looks over to the fire pit before shaking her head. “I am sorry but that is for a customer-”

“Actually it is for her.” a soft familiar voice beside from beside her. “Please get it for.”

Xena’s whole body freezes at the voice. Are you fucking kidding you lizard!

A light purr was her reply.

“Three years away and I still know one of your weaknesses, Xena. Never understood your taste in goat than a lamb but to each their own.”

From the corner of her eye she watched as the halfling woman climbs onto the stool beside her, her dirty blond hair tightly braided, complexion darker than the usual halfling with a big scar across the side of her face along with other, smaller scars and of course wearing armor representing gold, silver, and blue of Bahamut.

“Oh like your weakness isn’t teriyaki chicken wings?” Xena mutters, tapping the booth waiting for her drink.

“Oooh don’t remind me, I haven’t had those in months!” the Halfling woman laughs.

Thankfully Xena didn’t have to wait long as her pint arrived along with the goat leg... though it looks magnificent and just asking to be devoured.

“What brings you here Lady Kima?” she asks, sipping her ale. “Don’t you and those dumb-asses have to keep Emon protected since you failed that last time around, also well done on that.”

“What? Can I not wonder about my vacation?” Lady Kima asks with a small smirk completely ignoring Xena’s comment.

“Not when you have Lady Allura waiting for you at home.” Xena was quick to reply.

Lady Kima’s dark complexion became darker as she clears her throat looking around nervously. “She is busy with her own things and I am not here to talk about such things. I am here for you though.”

“Oh? What happened? Is there something else they wanted to accuse me of?” She asks rolling her eyes. “Did I throw Timmy down the well?”

“No Xena this doesn’t have anything to do with the order and more of a personnel matter.” Lady Kima sighs. “I was given a vision... a dark one.”

Xena turns her head to Lady Kima, showing that she was paying attention. It wasn’t really all surprising that paladins got visions or messages from Bahamut it was just rare when they do give it so when one says they got a vision, you listen.

“I saw darkness taking root beneath Kraghammer, the dwarven city northeast of Emon in the Cliffkeep Mountains. I have been hiring a couple of mercenaries to accompany me into the mines and into the Underdark, and I want you to join me.” Just as she finished the sentence Xena choked back her drink.

Coughing a bit, wiping her mouth with her arm Xena looks over at Lady Kima in shock. “Okay first off you owe another ale, second of all wherein all your vision did it say ‘It’s dangerous to go alone, bring the half-orc that your order banished years ago!’ like seriously Kima.”

“Xena, the Order has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with my visions and they certainly have nothing to say about who I bring with me. Besides, in my vision; within the darkness, I saw a figure of a wolf within it, guiding me through the caves of the deep.”

There was a silence between the two.

“And the last murmurs I have heard here and in neighboring villages, that there is a half-orc wondering the area, helping the less fortunate, caring for those in need with the strength of ten men and eyes like a wolf, they call her Einn Ulfer... Lone Wolf, Now I wonder would such a person does not help her old mentor in her quest to suppress the darkness from taking hold in this world?” Lady Kima asks, gently placing it beside Xena’s hand.

Xena looks down at the object, taking a deep breath as she stares at her the most precious thing that was taken away from her, her holy symbol. The lizard her head purrs comfortingly, encouraging her to do what is right and help her Lady Kima.

Reaching over she picks up the symbol, grasping tightly to it as she feels the vibrating purrs in her head transfer slowly from her head down her body and into the item in her hand.

Xena sighs. “So, Kraghammer huh?”

Lady Kima smiles.

[treeofcups]

Matt’s description of Kraghammer in campaign 1, episode 1: You made your way through the darkened alleyways and stone carved tunnel that leads into the main, central portion of the city proper. An enormous underground metropolis sprawls out before you. The dark earth and shadows creating beautiful stone work, marble columns, archways, and labyrinthine bridges climbing across the vertical cityscape. All warmed with the red glow of some strange, crimson rock peppered throughout the town as a light source. A large metal forge envelops the center of this cylindrical city. The entire city is a three-tiered cylindrical city that is built into the ground of the mountain itself. Welcome to Kraghammer!

Matt’s description of Uthodurn in campaign 2, episode 73: As you head out to the central tunnel and it opens up around you, this is a massive underground cavern, from floor to ceiling, probably close to 100 to 120 feet high, and hundreds of feet wide, side to side. Close to 1500 feet or more. And in that space, this wide, very, very pinched from the top, arched cavern, there are just buildings that sprawl out. This is an underground neighborhood that continues.

As it descends, it curves, like a gargantuan auger, that just slowly spirals deeper and deeper into the earth. You can hear all manner of voices shouting and laughing and making comments and aggressive grunts as various individuals are coming through, carrying large mine carts filled with freshly-mined iron and other minerals from a mining works off to the far right that encompasses a heavy side of this entryway. To the left, you can see other residential buildings, which is interesting, because along the base of it you can see more squat, heavy stone buildings, and then built up against the wall, curving up, as the cave meets the edge of its sides, you can see more elven-based homes. In this weird in-between you can see where the merging cultures between dwarf and elf, classically at odds, or at least very, very dissimilar lifestyles, have come into this symbiotic existence together. And there, amongst the people of Uthodurn, while primarily dwarvish, there are a lot of elves walking through. Elven children, couples of dwarves, and elves, and dwarf and elf together. It is a complete merger of the societies.

[utilitycaster]

theorphanmaker replied to your post “Accents of Exandria”

ah yes the plentiful langues of "eastern European" and "Russian" love those categories

I’m not sure if this was meant jokingly or sarcastically but it’s a good opportunity either way to talk a little bit about the challenges of describing and figuring out accents that I ran into here. They’re in part due to the limits to my knowledge and experience, in part due to the incredible diversity of accents in the real world even within the same language, region, or city, in part due to the limitations of even a talented voice actor, and in part due to the fact that Exandria doesn’t have a Britain, or Russia, or Europe so we’re using accents that exist in our world to describe accents in a completely different and fictional universe.

(obligatory disclaimer that I’m a hobbyist, not an accent actor nor a linguist, and if you have specific and actionable constructive advice I welcome it).

Before I start, those specific, verbatim categories of “eastern European” and “Russian” were picked in part because of the notes Matt tweeted out here. Also Russian is a language? So to address what might be going on here...

Eastern European isn’t a language - this is true. The words we use to describe accents are not always a perfect one-to-one match with languages. If you asked most people to tell you what accent Percy had, for example, they’d probably say “British”, which is true. British isn’t a language. Neither is Texan (Fjord’s put-upon accent).

Eastern Europe is indeed a tricky definition and the exact makeup of eastern Europe is itself a subject of debate but it’s also an accent actors would see on call sheets; people from that region of the world have different accents but on the whole there are some shared traits among said accents. I've seen a lot of discussion on where exactly Jester’s accent is from and honestly, I couldn’t tell you (nor could most people, because it is probably something of a compound accent that doesn’t match up exactly with any specific country or language) - but it sounds eastern European in its traits (the ‘ih’ sound when stressed becomes more of an ‘ee’ sound, her ‘r’ sounds tend to be fronted, the ‘a’ in Traveler sounds closer to an ‘eh’ sound, and so on). These are qualities her accent shares with Kree, who Matt noted had an eastern European accent, even though they don’t have identical accents. For the most part, everyone has a few individual accent quirks anyway (referred to as idiolect).

(sidebar - while I don’t think it’s a perfect match the accent I’ve heard that sounds closest to Jester’s is Romanian. Jester doesn’t have final obstruent devoicing - listen to how the ‘d’ in “Fjord” is pronounced as a ‘d’ when she says it, vs how Caleb says it almost as a ‘t’ - and neither does Romanian, but many languages spoken in that region do devoice final obstruents. I also think the coastal nature of Nicodranas evokes southeastern Europe - I remember someone drawing comparisons between Nicodranas and Dubrovnik (I don’t have enough familiarity with Croatian speakers; I did a quick search and some dialects have this feature and some don’t so if anyone reading this can speak to Jester’s accent being Croatian with some level of knowledge, let me know!)

Anyhow: using a regional descriptor of accents even when many different languages are spoken therein (eg: an Indian accent)- or using regional descriptors of accents even when they’re within the same country and people with that native accent speak the same native langage (eg: a Texas accent and a Boston accent) is pretty normal. People from the same geographic area can have different native accents based on socioeconomic/cultural factors: to use the TV show The Wire as an example, most of the characters are supposed to be natives of Baltimore, but the working class white accent is not the same as the African-American accent.

Another possible point here was that Russia is (at least partially) in Eastern Europe: this is also true. We can refer to accents very specifically (eg, “Percy has a Moderate Received Pronunciation English accent”) or very generally (eg, “Percy has a British accent”). If I had to speculate re: Matt’s notes, it might be that he wanted to clearly distinguish Kree’s accent (eastern European) from Oremid Hass’s accent (Russian). As mentioned above each language has some distinct features within the accent. Because Russian was specifically used as a descriptor I broke it out from the larger Eastern European accent group.

I’m not sure if an implied point here was that Russia is a language spoken across a huge country with a multitude of regional accents in which case this falls under the same case of, for example, Texan accents not being the same in every single part of Texas. Houston isn’t going to sound like El Paso.

Next: actors have limitations! We’ve seen this with Taliesin specifically trying to develop his Irish accent work. Sometimes it’s a learning process, but also sometimes people pick a collection of traits often seen in a broad accent category but that are unlikely to be seen within the same accent of an individual: for example, using non-Rhotic (not pronouncing all the ‘r’ sounds after vowels) pronunciation found in many London accents with the vowel sounds of a West Country British accent, which is Rhotic. It’s not a realistic accent you’d be likely to find in the real world, but it is a consistent speech pattern with internal logic. This is why a lot of dialogue coaches recommend that people listen to a single speaker and imitate them if they’re trying to get familiar with a specific accent. However, because this is Exandria, not Earth, if you mix and match your accent patterns and come up with something new, that’s okay! Jester’s accent might not fit an Earth category other than “kind of eastern European sounding” because again, Jester isn’t from the Ukraine or Romania or Belarus, she’s from Nicodranas.

Exandria is further complicated because in D&D, every player character is at least bilingual, many are multilingual, and while everyone’s speaking in Common most of the time it’s up to the player whether they learned Common or their racial/regional language first. Matt usually plays it so that most dwarves, for example, speak with a Scottish accent whether they’re in Trostenwald, Uthodurn, or Kraghammer - it’s at least heavily implied this is the dwarvish accent, rather than a regional accent (though if you were to think about it, in Uthodurn and Kraghammer, cities with large dwarvish populations, this might become part of the native regional accent). Jester’s accent might be because she’s from Nicodranas (or it’s the accent of wherever Marion’s from originally) but it could also be how they’re depicting infernal, and she spoke that as a first language but Zahra and Molly didn’t - or maybe Zahra lost her infernal accent later on in life, or who knows? I’m a fan of embracing the vagueness here since Exandrian accents will never be a one-to-one match with the real world, but at the same time I had a lot of fun looking for patterns among those accents as they’re a cool part of world-building and tropes.

[lenacopperleaf]

A (Not So) Brief Summary of The First 27 episodes of Critical Role

So @i-do-as-i-want had mentioned wanting a summary of the first bunch of episodes so that they could get to the part without Tiberius and his player. I was originally going to message this to them but then it got long, and I figured others might be interested too. I tried to be brief while still covering everything important (27 episodes is still almost 100 hours of content ya’ll). Feel free to add if you feel I missed important stuff, but be kind as I did this pretty quickly. This isn’t a post to talk about what went down with Tibs’ player. There’s a lot of those posts around rn and they serve their own purpose. But this post is just supposed to be a summary of in-game events. Summary under the read more!

Underdark Arc (episodes 1-16)

We meet Vox Machina—Percy a gunslinger nobleman who’s trying to avoid his past; the half elf twins, Vax the rogue, and Vex the ranger (and her bear Trinket); Keyleth the half elf druid who is completing her journey to become her people’s Voice of the Tempest; Scanlan a gnomish bard; Pike a gnomish cleric of Sarenrae and her best buddy Grog the barbarian; and Tiberius a dragonborn.

They are a group of adventurers who have just successfully saved a city called Emon. After a six(ish) month break where they have split apart to complete pieces of their individual stories they have rejoined to find Lady Kima, a friend to the Sorcerer Allura whom they met in Emon. Kima, a paladin to the Platinum Dragon, had gone to the Kraghammer to deal with an evil vibe she had been getting. VM arrives, talks to a bunch of people and go to a mine where creatures had been coming to the surface from the Underdark. They make a deal with the mine owner to take care of his creature problems for a lot of gold pieces.

VM goes through the mine defeating a vast assortment of creatures such as umber hulks, intellect devourers, and illithids. Along the way Vex and Keyleth meet Clarota, an Illithid who has been cast out, they invite him to come along to help defeat a mysterious figure known as K’varn who the group believes to be the source of the problem. They then reach the castle of the Underdark Dwarves (duergar). The evil king and queen had been holding Kima! The gang rescues Kima, who dislikes Clarota and wants to leave him behind. VM has a battle against the king and queen. The King dies but the Queen gets away with Grog. Eventually the gang gets back Grog, defeats the Queen and heads on to face K’Varn. The group finds out that K’varn is a beholder controlling the mind flayers through their elder brain, battles him (ep. 11) and wins out. Then it turns out that the god Orcus is trying to use K’varn through the Horn of Orcus-this reanimates the beholder corpse. After persevering again VM unintentionally frees all the controlled mind-flayers and Clarota betrays Vox Machina in the hopes his people will take him back.

The gang fight-run away from the mind flayers and through the use of a teleportation circle return with Kima back to Emon. There is a shopping episode where we meet Shaun Gilmore, Vox Machina’s favorite merchant who has a bit of a flirtationship with Vax. (Ep. 14) The band of adventurers is summoned to Sovereign Uriel and the council of Emon. VM tells the council about the Horn of Orcus and decide to bring it back to Vasselheim where Kima’s temple is where they should be able to keep the Horn safe and away from dangerous creatures/people. VM does this, traveling by air ship. They return the Horn to the Platinum Dragon’s temple. They also say good-bye to Pike for the time being as she has decided to stay to fix the temple of Sarenrae (Ashley Johnson was cast in Blindspot).

Adventures in Vasselheim (17-23)

After saying goodbye to Pike, VM looks for things to do. Grog gets in a fight against Kern in what is known as The Pit (ep. 17 part 1 quite good). Grog loses just barely and is very sad. The group looking to cheer him up and get back to what they’re good at, leave Vasselheim and come across a hydra, and defeat it. Unfortunately Vasselheim has an organization known as the Slayer’s Take who are given assignments to hunt monsters and other creatures and the hydra slain was one the Slayer’s Take was supposed to take care of. Vox Machina is told that they must join the Slayer’s Take or will be persecuted as poachers.

Vox Machina is split up to undertake the Trial of the Slayer’s Take. Vex, Scanlan, Grog and two new friends go to slay a white dragon. Vax, Keyleth, Tiberius, and two other new friends have to beat a Rakshasa (I like these episodes and reoccurring guest characters are introduced. Ep. 18 and 19 have no Tiberius, ep. 20 and 21 have…well a lot more Tiberius. For the reoccurring guest character of 20/21 it is Kash a cleric/paladin who is played by Will Friedle. Kash is interested in Keyleth romantically and Vax gets jealous. Kash is good here but there are other instances of him after Tibs so no big to just avoid these ep if need be just know the Rakshasa will be a problem again in the future). Once everyone has passed their trial they become members of the Take. Yay!! Then they go to the village of Pyrah so Keyleth can pass the Fire trial of her Aramente. They go to the Fire Realm, things are hot but they get by and Keyleth passes. On their way back they have to hide from a big scary red dragon (foreshadowing!!)

Before they leave back to Emon, Grog returns to the Pit where he faces off against Kern, and this time…is victorious!!!! (ep. 23, part 1. There is some Tibs but the Grog part is pretty good and is pretty heavy Grog centered which is the last we’ll see of that for a little while.) Fan Favorite NPC Viktor the gun powder merchant is also in this last episode in part 2, (2:08:29)

VM returns to their keep and meet Kynan (recurring NPC) who wants to join Vox Machina. Vax knocks him out and then revives him in an attempt to teach Kynan that their work is dangerous and not for him at that time. He tells the boy to train and that one day maybe he can join. Kynan runs off saying he will do that. Vax later feels guilty and tries to find him but cannot. Seeker Assum, a member of the Council, sends word to Vox Machina that they are invited to a fancy feast next week to welcome Emon’s new fancy guests…the Briarwoods (aka the people who invaded Percy’s home and killed all of his family).

The Briarwood Arc (24-27)

After receiving the invitation Percy finally tells Vox Machina all of what had happened to him before he joined the Adventure Party. Basically bad people came in, killed everyone, Percy was tortured before he was able to escape and now he wants revenge. On 5 of the 6 barrels of his gun there is a name—Lord and Lady Briarwood, Anna Ripley, Sir Stonefell, and Professor Anders. The group says that they will help Percy.  The group splits to do errands, get their money from Kraghammer and play with Trinket.

Then the group goes to the feast, Percy disguised as Vax. They see Silas and Delilah Briarwood and hear their version of how they acquired Whitestone (ie. The de Rolos got sick and died and they were in line to inherit), Vax although asked to go with Seeker Assum sneaks off and does his own thing (after agreeing to say “Jenga” over the magical earrings if he needs help). He ends up getting caught by the Briarwoods in their room. As dinner ends Vax finds himself in deeper and deeper trouble as he isn’t able to speak or move.

When he gets a chance to break the spell Vax throws himself out of a window and yells Jenga. A Very intense fight follows (ep. 25 is really good overall though as it is nearing the end of time Tibs was around things are starting to get strange/tense with him so watch if interested and you can just skip him really) as the group fights to save Vax and stop the Briarwoods. They fail to stop the Briarwoods though they do save Vax. Percy begins to act more rash than is normal for him. Sovereign Uriel and his council are unhappy with VM as it seems they attacked Emon’s guests. He agrees to look into it but VM is on some thinnnnnnnnn ice. The gang does some…questionable stuff when some bloodhunters come after one of their new friends (This is where the Vox Machina hates old people comes from). There’s a filler episode where Scanlan turns everyone into Cows. Its kinda amusing though skippable overall.

Okay, now we’re at ep. 27. The tension throughout the episode is weird at the beginning and terrible by the end imo. Unless you enjoy second hand embarrassment/awkwardness/weirdness I would suggest trying to avoid this episode. Percy begins to have nightmares and dreams of a smoke entity before ghosts attack Grey Skull Keep. They fight off the ghosts and then later in the day start to make plans.

Seeker Assum comes to see them and says that he thinks that Uriel is under a charm like Assum was earlier. Keyleth had used Greater Restoration on him when the council was talking with VM, but Assum pretended it didn’t work b/c he wanted to stay in Uriel’s good graces to help VM later.  After more debate, and an offer to raze Whitestone from Tiberius, and some creepy smoke voices in Percy’s ear, Percy decides that they will go to face the Briarwoods and that they will have a week to prepare. (Now comes the worst part of the episode tension wise). The party makes their preparations to leave the city, Vex leaves a note for Uriel.

Then they leave for Whitestone. The journey goes okay though they lose their horses to harpies. Keyleth is becoming increasingly concerned for Percy, feeling he isn’t telling them everything. The next day they continue on their way and the episode ends as they are faced with a dragon-ish creature.

The next episode they continue onto Whitestone but Tibs is controlled by Matt. The disappearance of Tibs’ player is brought up sometime over the next few episodes but he does not come back to the table and you can now enjoy the rest of the episodes of Critical Role! 

[regularbeans]

One(?) gifset per episode || Arrival at Kraghammer

An enormous underground metropolis sprawls out before you—the dark earth and shadows creating beautiful stonework, marble columns, archways, and labyrinthine bridges climbing across the vertical city-scape. All warmed with the red glow of some strange, crimson rock peppered throughout the town as a light source. A large metal forge envelops the center of this cylindrical city. The entire city is a three tiered cylindrical city that is built into the ground of the mountain itself. Welcome to Kraghammer!

[dancer4813]

Hello everyone. My name is Matthew Mercer and I will be the DM for this evening. Welcome to the first episode of Critical Role. Now what this basically is, is a continuation of our weekly D&D game – me and a bunch of other... voice actors gathering around, rolling some dice, killing some creatures, having some adventure. And now we have the pleasure of bringing it on the stream for you to watch, enjoy, and occasionally interact with. …But do note, for all you hardcore gamers out there, a lot of this is house-ruled, sort of loosey-goosey, having a good time, so all you number crunchers – stop paying attention there. Just have fun with it.

Matthew Mercer, Critical Role Episode 1 - “Welcome to Kraghammer”

[critrolestats]

You Can Certainly Try

Ledamemangociana: heeeey CritRoleStats team! i was wondering - we all love when Matt drops the HDYWTDT, but there's another thing he says quite a bit of that cracks me up a lot - "You can certainly try." do you already have a list of how many times he has said it thus far in the show? it's not a lot, but still...       

We indubitably gave it a shot. Which we did not throw away.

Thanks to actualkatebishop, avventurierisenzapaura, Brendan G., @c_diercks, crystallos, @cwittland, Don D., @dutchcritter, Eric R., i-encourage-peace, @InvictusRob, @_miss_maria_, Mooberg, @mrsgoodreaver, @MysticalSpider, @nakedinahat, @OmrJeuss, Caroline W., René B., Sarah E.H.,@SaulOrmiston, @SilentEnGee, @silmarienn, soaringsparrows,  @ytoti_, and other critters for their work compiling this list!

Times Matt explicitly stated “You can certainly try”: 36 Total times it was stated, implied, or varied: 87 Updated through Episode 79.

01 Arrival at Kraghammer

(2:19:34) Laura: Can I talk to good ole Nostoc while he’s doing that? Matt: He currently does not seem like the talkative type at the moment, but you can certainly try.

02 Into the Greyspine Mines

(0:36:17) Vex: Are the stores still open?  Matt: You can certainly check.

04 Attack on the Duergar Warcamp

(1:28:49) Tiberius: Is there enough weight for me to get on the carpet at this point?  Matt: You can certainly try; You’re not aware how much weight is on there.

05 The Trick About Falling

(0:39:38) Grog: Can I harvest any natural armor from the bulette?  Matt: You can certainly try. There's plates that have been broken and cracked.

(0:49:41) Keyleth: Can I cast Wind Wall right underneath of the carpet to kind of like airbend us up?  Matt: You can attempt to.

(1:02:25) Pike: Can I go over to Clarota and try to heal him?  Matt: You can certainly try, yeah.

(1:03:42) Matt: The arrow is still stuck in its torso.  Vex: Can we try to pull it out?  Pike: Break off the part and pull it out.  Matt: You can certainly try.

(2:12:19) Keyleth: Will my thornwhip reach him? My 30 foot range thornwhip?  Matt: You can certainly try.

07 The Throne Room

(0:53:35) Vex: Can I hop on Trinket's back and see if I can see higher?  Matt: You can try.

(3:27:55) Pike: Can I try and drag Tiberius away from the magma?  Matt: You can try.

08 Glass and Bone

(0:20:10) Vex: Can we stealth kind of further down?  Matt: You can try to. You currently are carrying two large solid stone statues with you. So, it is definitely possible, but you are going to have to come up with a creative way of doing so.

(0:28:40) Percy: Do I have the necessary tools to synthesize a potion out of the basilisk blood?  Matt: You can certainly try. It’s a very ramshackle setup. You do not have a chemical set.

(0:35:29) Vex: Can I use my Hunter's Mark to find out where she is, and then we rest and go there?  Matt: You may attempt that...

(0:42:04) Pike: Could I try healing- like just a very concentrated energy just on his foot like a healing spell?"  Matt: You can certainly try.

09 Yug’voril Uncovered

(2:46:27) Vex: Stealth and fly in, can we do that? Is it possible to stealth and fly at the same time?  Matt: [Chuckles] You can certainly try to keep quiet while doing so.

10 K’varn Revealed

(0:52:45) Pike: Can I jump on his leg or back or something?  Matt: You can try to!

(1:04:15) Grog: Is the Chain of Returning long enough to get to him?  Matt: You can certainly try.

(1:33:48) Pike: Could I use ... Dispel Magic?  Matt: You could attempt to, yes.  Pike: OK, I'll attempt.

11 The Temple Showdown

(1:03:47) Keyleth: [Geas] generally takes a minute to cast. Can I do that?  Matt: You can certainly try. We'll see how long you guys can keep him restrained.

(2:29:52) Matt: Grog is not strong enough to carry a bear and you on a Fly spell.  Tiberius: No, I mean one at a time.  Matt: You can try. There's a good chance he might drop Trinket on the way over, from that height which would be a splatter bear.

(3:45:06) Grog: Can I grab and kick off  and try and rip [The Horn of Orcus] off his head, or is that all the same thing?  Matt: You can certainly try.

(4:28:20) Keyleth: Can I as a rock monster, go up to [the hanging remains of the arcane structure from top of temple] and go KKVOOF! grab it?  Matt: You can certainly try. It looks very heavy.

15 Skyward

(1:03:32) Vex: And maybe he can roll into things now- it'll be awesome.  Keyleth: Can he roll?  Matt: [grinning very skeptically] We'll try it if you want to. Bears aren't known for their rolling capabilities.  Vex: Trinket is a special bear.

16 Enter Vasselheim

(1:33:15) Vex: Can I try to shoot an arrow into the little hole?  Matt: You can...this is a hard shot. This is at an angle now.  Vex: OK.  Matt: And this will be kind of a ... we're talking this is Robin Hood level split the arrow, 'cause you have to hit it and ricochet upward to see if it will have any effect.

17 Hubris

(1:50:44) Grog: Can we go find an armory or somewhere that sells pointy things?  Matt: You can certainly try!

18 Trial of the Take Part 1

(2:10:10) Felicia: Can I see if he’s truthful?  Matt: Roll an insight check.  Felicia: Oh, that’s not my strength.  Matt: You can certainly try!

21 Trial of the Take Part 4

(0:43:48) Wil: Can I jump and land on those rats?  Matt: You know what-sure, go ahead and make an athletics check.

(2:24:49) Marisha: Can I try to do a history check?  Matt: You can try?

22 AraMente to Pyrah

(2:30:48) Laura: Can we get in a place that the boulders won’t hit us, like if we get right up against the cliff face?  Matt: You can certainly try!

24 The Feast

(1:29:26) Karin, about creating a glave for Tiberius: I could certainly try, aye!

(1:33:31) Tiberius: Can I try to take my tip of one of my bolts in [poison]?  Matt: You can certainly try it; there is a difference between poison and disease.

27 The Path to Whitestone

(0:22:15) Taliesin: How insane would it be to try and make a shot underneath his legs?  Matt: You can certainly go for it and try!

(0:22:21) Taliesin: I’m going to drop down and… can I make an aimed shot against something I can’t see?  Matt: You can try…it’ll be with disadvantage, but you can definitely make it.

(2:27:52) Orion: Could I fuse a fog spell with a sleep spell?  Matt: No. Orion: Can we try super-hard?  Matt, amused: Sure. Make a roll. Make a roll.

28 The Sun Tree

(2:09:38) Grog: Can I make a nature check to see if that’s true?  [peeing on a lemon tree]  Matt: [laughs] Sure.

29 Whispers

(0:35:28) Liam: All right then, can we lift it together?  Matt: [laughing] We can try.

31 Gunpowder Plot

(p1. 0:46:09) Matt and Travis to Scanlan as he considers various ways to use Bigby’s Hand to get off the roof: You’re welcome to try!

32 Against the Tide of Bone

(0:20:15) Matt, to Vex about casting Conjure Barrage against undead horde: You can definitely attempt that.

(0:37:03) Sam: She jumped 35 feet out there?  Matt: She did, yes.  Sam: Can I do that?  Matt: If you wanna try.

34 Race to the Ziggurat

(1:10:51) Grog: I have a pickaxe, that I picked up before we left. Can I swing it at the bottom and try to get some purchase under the door?  Matt: You could try.

(1:28:13) Laura: Can I Hunter’s Mark them?  Matt: You could attempt to.

(4:10:00) Marisha: So, if I cast Control Water, could I move her blood?  Matt: You can certainly try.

(4:10:15) Marisha: So, wiping the blood off probably wouldn’t work.  Matt: You can try!

(4:20:00) Matt: You [Pike] can try a spell if you want to.

36 Winter’s Crest in Whitestone

(0:20:53) Marisha: Can we take, like, the fabric and sew it into, like, a nice afghan or something?  Matt: You can certainly try; it would probably ruin the enchantment.   

(0:48:05) Taliesin: I may ask for that brooch back.  Liam: You can certainly try!

(2:00:35) Matt: You can certainly try [to polymorph Trinket into a human]!

38 Echoes of the Past

(0:25:19) Ashley: Greater Restoration?  Matt: If you want to! It’s whatever you want to try!

39 Omens

(0:34:22) Keyleth: Can I go through Grog, through there?  Matt: You can try to, yeah.

(0:46:06) Taliesin: Can I dash into one of the creatures?  Matt: I mean…you could try and…try to...

(0:46:19) taliesin: Well, I had the thought that maybe I could attempt to get them to attack each other. Matt: I mean…that can…that can be attempted…

(1:08:28) Scanlan: Can I make an intelligence check to know if I know anything about these creatures? Matt:  “Uh…you can if you’d like to, from the inside its body, yeah. Go ahead.

(3:03:40) Grog: ...I just wanna pick the lock!  Matt: You have no lockpicks.  Grog: Can I shove an axe in the lock hole?  Matt:  “…you can.”

(3:30:35) Laura: Could I tell from my favorite enemy-ness that it was dragons?  Matt: You can make a hefty perception check, if you’d like.

42 Dangerous Dealings

(1:18:43) Taliesin: There’s no easy way up onto the roof, is there?  Matt: Aside from a well-placed acrobatics check, you can try…

(1:19:28) Taliesin:...or could  try and push him off the roof?  Matt: For the wyvern or the rider?  Taliesin: The wyvern.  Matt: You can try…

(1:30:36) Laura: Could I acrobatics that s*** up?  Matt: You could try it, go for it!

44 The Sunken Tomb

(0:49:47) Will: Can you move underwater?  Laura: *gasp* Can we mist underwater?!  Matt: You can certainly try.

(2:27:42) Sam: Could I shove a blade in there and jam it maybe?  Matt: You could try to. Will: That’s never a good answer: you can try.

(2:27:50) Laura: You can certainly try!

46 Cindergrove Revisited

(2:15:09) Chris: Can I cast some type of a mental spell through the orb to the fire genie?  Matt: You can certainly try!

(2:15:35) Chris: Could I modify his memory the fire genie’s memory into thinking that he’s completed the task that he came to this realm to complete and that he might go home?  Matt: You can certainly try!

(2:47:44) Taliesin: Can I knock him down a notch? Does he have some...can I try and shoot him to drop him out of the sky a bit?  Matt: You can certainly try!

48 Into the Frostweald

(2:21:15) Vex: Can I fly down and land on a tall tree?  Matt: You can try to… If you’d like to try to.

52 The Kill Box

(0:34:34) Liam: Could I get, could I run to the corner of the building that the arches are on and scrapple up the side of it?  Matt: You can certainly try, sure.

54 In the Belly of the Beast

(0:31:25) Zanror: We can certainly try. It’s going to be hard to convince it without a head.

55 Umbrasyl

(0:28:32) Laura: What if we could have chased after them… right away?  Matt: You can if you want to. Do you want to go after them?

58 A Cycle of Vengeance

(2:01:34) Allura: We can certainly try.

61 Denizens of the Moonbrush

(0:16:07) Vex: What about Garmelie, would he know?  Matt: You’re welcome to ask him.

(3:22:14) Laura: Can I attack it? Matt: You currently have no way of seeing it right now. If you move far enough that direction, you may.

62 Uninviting Waters

(1:23:00) Taliesin: [Can I] start laying a few shots inside [the feymire crocodile]? Matt: Maybe. You can certainly try.

(1:38:02) Travis: Can I cast Enlarge on myself? Matt: You can certainly try.

(2:31:56) Laura: Can the gnomes sit on [the broom]? Matt: You can try, it’s up to you.

63 The Echo Tree

(0:16:45) Laura: Can we get up in the tree? Matt: If you’d like to try and climb, yeah.

64 The Frigid Doom

(1:10:35) Gilmore: You’re more than welcome to.

66 A Traveler’s Gamble

(0:37:04) You are more than welcome to try it!

(0:50:18) Liam: Would you allow me to use my bonus action to go stealth quietly around over, using my haste, to sneak behind my sister and that stone thingy in the middle of the room?  Matt: You can certainly try!  Liam: Yes, I’d like to try.

69 Passed Through Fire

(1:06:47) Matt: You want to try a greater restoration spell, is that what you’re saying?

73 The Coming Storm

(0:24:48) Marisha: Can I [counter Raishan’s Modify Memory]? Matt: You can certainly try.

75 Where the Cards Fall

(0:46:48) You can certainly try. I would love for you to try!

(0:58:10) You can roll it now if you want to.

(1:23:13) Matt: …That’s up to you, man.  Travis: You can certainly try.

(1:48:30) You’re more than welcome to try.

(2:31:30) Marisha asks if she can use her Scrying Eye to locate the Pit Fiend. Matt: You certainly can.

(3:11:30) Sure, which will definitely catch attention, because no vegetation exists here.

78 The Siege of Emon

(2:23:11) You can give it a shot!

(2:59:13) If you wanna use one of the charges, you can try that.

[sacredreadingcr]

Sacred Reading CR Podcast: Arrival at Kraghammer C1E1 Part Two

In our second episode, we discuss and examine the second half of Arrival at Kraghammer (C1E1) through the lens of Sacred Reading practices with Alyssa and Claire.

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