#welcome back to this episode's “i cannot take anything seriously when it comes to my media” joongdok edition

[kiksniko]

people died

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 1

Title: Being sucked in

A/n: I'm not sure how long this.. story will take but i will try my best to keep it entertaining.. this story is about you, being sucked into genshin world, this is part 1.. please enjoy. Leave a comment or suggestion.. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Today is another normal day, nothing is really out of the ordinary, the sky is a little bit cloudy but you don't mind, you think that the wind blowing against your hair is very nice as you walk towards your school. You walked inside, stopping Infront of the locker to the entrance to fix your stuff and take your schedule until you felt a presence beside you.

"oh, hello sidia".

You greets one of your sleepy friend, she just let's out a 'hmm' and a nod while looking through her locker, not even giving you an eye contact. sidia has always been like this, she never really made an eye contact towards you but she still shows that she has some of her attention towards you.

"good morning".

Your other friend, Chelz Lee, let's out a mutter to the both of you, Chelz is more talkative then Sidia, you met them maybe a couple of years ago. they're a very talented artist and are a very interesting friends to be around with.

"what's up guys".

You too greet them without looking at their eye, you take your books out and proceed to take a peak at Sidia's schedule.

"oh? Mathematics on the first hour? Goodluck".

You snicker and slap her shoulder a little bit, she stares at you uninterestedly with her sleepy eye and started to walk away, letting you stare at her black low ponytail hair.

You giggle and take a peak at Chelz's schedule. Art. her first lesson for today seems fun you thought sighing at the sight of your first schedule that reads 'science'.

Chelz already went half way to catching up to Sidia before she looks back at you as if asking you to join them and you did. You jog towards her, taking her hand and started to jog towards Sidia either.

"how are you both?".

You ask them both while fixing the books on your hand and looking at your shoes to check the lace.

"depressed".

Sidia answered, you make a 'uhuh' sound feeling used to her answers. Chelz stroke her short wavy black bangs out of her eyes and use her black glasses and start to read her novel. Her black short hair blows a little because of the wind.

"fine".

She answered you, yawning and stretching her arms out beside her. You and the rest of your friend said goodbye to eachother and proceed to go to your different ways.

You went inside your class. As usual people are in teams, some are in teams for fun, some are in teams for checking today's lesson.

You take a one seat beside the window and wait for the teacher to come inside the classroom.

The lesson went on as usual, smoothly even, you did your homework andd the score that you got on yesterday's test is not bad, B is not a bad grade. You take out your binder and put the paper's that you got in to the binder.

Going home is the best thing about the day. You and Chelz are chatting away about until you guys cane across a gaming store.

"ou? A gaming store".

Sidia said, catching yours and Chelz attention. Chelz look at that place very seriously, squinting her eye.

"...since when is there a gaming store here- y/n!".

She was very suspicious of this place, she doesn't remember any gaming store around here... And if there is one opening soon it should be the talk of the school. in short Chelz was suspicious but you, being a gaming enthusiast decided to check it out, thinking maybe they have a good and cheap open world game.

"... She's crazy".

Sidia chuckled. She took Chelz arm, snapping her out of her suspicious state and drag her towards the gaming store.

"yo- sidia i don't wanna die".

"well i do. So let's go".

And with that the both of them followed you in.

The store looks very cool.. it's like you're in a different world. The ceiling's wallpaper is made out of galaxy like drawing and the light bulb was covered with another ball that is drawn to match with the different planets on the solar system.

"welcome to the store how may i help you".

A girl that looks like in her mid 20 greets the both of you, she have short black hair and a green uniform and a little pin on the breast part of her uniform spell out 'katheryne'. Which you assume was her name.

"hello! I was wondering do you have any open world game?".

You instantly ask her, not caring about the suspicious store, you don't even care about the insides of the place. You just wanted to play a open world game that's full of interesting stuff. The girl name katheryne hums in understanding and goes behind the table to look for a game you requested. Chelz grabs your hand and shout whisper to you.

"this place is creepy y/n. Let's get out of here".

Chelz scold you, you sigh and looks at her calmly shaking your head no.

"it's fine, were fine, what's the worst thing that could happen?".

You whisper back with a lighter tone. Really you don't care if this place comes out of nowhere you just want your game, you're smiling stupidly while waiting for the girl.

"anywayyy if anything happened, Sidia is here, she'll be able to protect us using her fighting style knowledge thingy".

Sidia scoffed and fold her arms, looking at you as if you're crazy.

"i will leave you alone and save myself".

You laugh and was about to slap her back when she holds your hand and rolls her eyes at you.

"such a tsun tsun".

You laugh out, she slowly and gently let your hand away. From the corner of your eye you can see katheryne walking towards the counter. You immediately jump and went towards her.

"this is the only open world game that i found".

She said, you look at the weird japanese like word, assuming it was the title you try to read what is said.. you don't understand it but the design was cool though.

"this is a open world game called genshin impact. I will not spoil the story but i think this game might be the game you're looking for".

Her confidence is seeping in on your game needy state so you decided to purchase it, not thinking twice. Sidia face palm while Chelz just sigh, feeling tired of your hot headed act.

"it will be 2$".

You felt giddy, you can't help it. It's cheap and is a open world game, that is a steal. After taking your stuff, the both of your friend immediately pull you away from the store.

"okay y/n. You got what you need, that place is sus i tell ya".

Sidia said, Chelz nods her head and fix her black glasses, she stare at you while furrowing her eyebrows.

"you gotta stop doing reckless thing. Who knows what that place is".

You sigh and nod, rolling your eye. You giggle anyway and put the game in front of you.

"i know.. but were safe! I wanna try and play it when i get home".

Sidia and Chelz just sigh, what can they do anyway. On the way home you and your friends goes on your own separate way as usual, you jog towards your home, feeling giddy to play the new game.

You take a bath, and goes straight to your computer, opening the plastic wrapper on the game. You insert the disc and started to wait for the loading screen.

And oh gosh.. isn't it pretty, the cutscene the art. Everything. So the game basically tells you about the story of two traveller, who was travelling from world to world until suddenly a mysterious god appears, took one of the twins and take away the other twins power, and now you're playing as the twin who was looking for their missing sister.

You look at the wishing button, tempted to wish for a character, you decided to pull. Expecting a cool banner of the current character instead, you're greets by a white screen.

"hm.. should i restart it?".

You mumble to yourself, nodding in agreement at your words, you close the disc and pulls out the game from your computer. You take a nearby wipe and wipe the back disc gently and then put it back in on the computer.

The game is launching when suddenly you felt a huge and sudden headache comes over you.

"ugh-!".

You groan, gosh.. maybe it's because you have been staring at the screen for too long.. you thinks as a bumping headache keeps going at you.

While waiting for the game you decided to lay back a bit, rest your eyes and head.. this headache is not going away anytime soon if you keep waiting and staring at the screen.

Before you reach the bed, your body stumble forward and fall on to the floor, cannot control any part of your body you close your eyes and your mind went blank.

A darkness is all that you see.. a darkness is all that you're in.. you remember that the last time you are in your bedroom, playing genshin until a huge headache wave over you. Now that you're sense's is back something felt wrong.. you can tell you are laying on something.. it's not comfy but it's still felt quite nice.

You opened your eye slowly and look around the place, groaning as you stare at the half blue and half white wall. You look at your bed and this bed looks like one of the hospital bed..... Wait hospital bed?! You instantly look around frantically where the heck are you?!

"oh you're awake!".

A gentle calm voice echoed throughout the room. That voice sounds familiar.. you turn around and saw a girl with a nurse hat and a white dress, her cream coloured hair is put in a ponytail... Barbara?!.

You stare at her unbelievably. Act cool.. act like.. like a human.. yeah!. You think to yourself. You know this girl.. this girl is the free 4 star character that you'll get once you reach a certain level. Okay y/n.. play it cool.. just act like you don't know this place.

"why.. am i here?".

You look at the girl, she seems nervous to be around you ... Which is normal maybe. She walked beside you and take a cup of empty glass beside you and pour a pitcher full of water inside the glass half full and then take them, offering the glass to you.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

A/n; GOD I'm so sorry it took a long time, i hope the 'cliffhanger' makes sense...? But! Thankyou for reading! I am working on part 2 so more will be incoming!!!

[shimmershae]

So.  Thanks to my new anonymous friend, this is going to become a thing.

Shae’s thinky thoughts about the latest episode--Acheron:  Part 2--beneath a cut. 

Because spoilers, however vague they might be.  

Let’s be real here.  This is more a stream of consciousness than anything else so if that’s not your thing, you are most welcome to nope right on out of this post.  Trust me.  I’ll completely understand, lol.  Sometimes?  I wish I could nope right on out of my own brain and the way it operates.  

That said?  Without further ado--

Episode 2′s opening, though.  Maggie trapped with hungry Walkers converging?  It totally gives me Glenn under the dumpster vibes.  I don’t know if that was intentional or just happy coincidence but way to link Maggie to her dearly departed better half, show.  

Is it just me or has Father G had more OOMPH to him these last few seasons?  Again, I have to ask--Rosita’s influence or no?  Regardless, I bet Seth Gilliam is loving the job these days.  

Side note:  am I gonna have to go to bed early every Saturday night from now until the end just so I that I might be able to SEE?  Something?  Anything?  My curtains are flimsy-ass.  I admit it.  But this is more frustrating than TXF.  Angela, WTF?  

No, seriously.  It’s like complete guess work who’s in these subway scenes.  Some of that has to do with them being overly populated by redshirts and the rest of it has to do with me having to squint and turn sideways to make out their facial features. 

Look at Daryl busting through concrete walls!  Should I call him the Kool-Aid Man considering NR has once again allowed himself to be led right into a biased, shipper trap?  Hmm.  I might.  

Imagine seeking refuge in those dark, filthy subways.  Any second now I expect to hear the skittering of rats.  Will Dog lose his effing mind a la Divergence?  He’s been shown to go off half-cocked that way, lol.  Oh well.  Guess it’ll be in character if he does.  

Impressive graffiti storyboards.  Does it mean something that it immediately cuts to the Commonwealth storm troopers afterward?  Maybe.  Who really knows at this point?  They been trying to gaslight us forever.  

LOL at Princess yet again.  Yumiko is just like da fuq is this person?  

No, really.  LMAO.  “That was her.  From last night.  Did you see how she was looking at us?”  

Then you have Eugene, hahaha.  “Oh God.  Why did he tell off the big guy?”  Like the man is totally me in this type of situation.  Not even gonna lie.  

“That’s right.  We want to talk to the manager.”  

I literally cannot wait ‘til Carol and Daryl meet Princess.  Can.  Not.  Wait.  

How sad is that note on that $100 bill?  Small moment but it totally gives me Season 4 vibes when they were on their way to Terminus seeking sanctuary.  

Hmm.  Remember how that place wasn’t what they thought it was?  I’m sure neither is the Commonwealth.  But I feel like what’s left of Team Family is totally going to do Rick proud, lol, and prove they’re messing with the wrong people if they try something.  

Daryl, Man.  You gonna have to get a better handle on your headstrong Fur Son.  I wonder if Dog would listen better to his mama?  Things to ponder.  

Sounds like Miko has this group’s number.  Or does she?  

Princess and Eugene totally look like they’re waiting their turn for the Principal’s office, LOL.  

“Stop moving!  You’re taking my nerves over the edge to a proverbial 11 on a scale of 10.”  I feel you, Eugene.  I do.  Also you, Princess.  Two of the most relatable TWD characters right there, I’m telling you.  

Princess is me when I really, really, really have to pee.  TMI?  Sorry, lovelies.  LOL.  I just...she’s so relatable.  

LMAO.  “If that fine ass dude in the orange suit...”  Princess and Mercer incoming in 3-2-----

Princess’s excitement over the toilet paper=PRICELESS.  

Eugene, Man.  You desperately need to develop a poker face.  

There’s Daryl getting another cool camera shot.  Angela?  You playing favorites again?  

Carol’s claustrophobia could have never.  I bet that’s in the back of Pookie’s mind.  You can’t tell me it’s not because Carol lives in there rent-free.  

Ohhh.  Back to the subway car.  Looks like we got the Maggie redshirts leading the way.  First sacrificial “lambs”?  

Maggie pistol-whipping Negan was kinda deserved, but he wasn’t all wrong so.  

Damn.  I’m no Gage fan.  He can fuck all the way off for what he did to my baby Lydia.  But Maggie over there with ice in her veins.  

Yep.  I think the dude just got one of the most gruesome deaths in a while.  Yuck.  

I think Alden’s faith in Maggie definitely took several hits.  I feel like he kind of had her on some sort of pedestal dating back to Hilltop times.  Father G, though?  The man is continuing to show himself a SAVAGE MFer.  

Josh gives Eugene such believable tics and mannerisms.  He IS Eugene.  

Thank you, Maggie, for lighting that flare.  I could not see a damn thing.  

What are these bad memories Negan alludes to?  Hmm?  Him being a shit husband to Lucille back when he was still taking her for granted?  

Father G on Gage’s Walker--”All that is, is a shell of a man, who died a coward.”  Kind of ironic considering Father G’s own origins, huh?  Has he any warmth in there for anybody but Rosita and Coco?  Does he equate it with weakness?  

“There are worse ways.”  And Maggie proceeds to paint us a horror story with mere words.  

Dark Maggie really surpasses anything certain fans have ever accused Carol of being.  Is she too far gone?  Who the hell knows?  I think it’s clear that she and Carol are both on a sliding scale of sorts when it comes to being able to compartmentalize shit to survive.  Personally?  I feel like Maggie might have leap-frogged Carol in this episode but it matters none because of the double standards so deeply entrenched in this fandom.  Both women have endured and had to do some horrific things.  It’s not a contest.  But it’s probably going to be turned into a season-long one.  

It’s almost like Kang was like, “Ya’ll bitches think Carol’s dark?  I’ll show you DARK.  Check and mate.”  

Whatever the reasoning, Maggie just got exponentially more interesting to me if not likable.  And before anybody out there comes at me, it’s entirely possible to be on a character’s side in some things and not be all up their ass in love with them, lol.  Like I’m attached to her because she’s family and Glenn loved her.  There’s a loyalty there and she absolutely is justified in her hatred of Negan.  But I’m not going to pretend her shit don’t stink like everybody else’s.  

Speaking of my baby Glenn.  What would he think of this version of Maggie?  I think he would be gutted and heart stricken that events led to her being like this but he’d understand because he’s pure like that.  Don’t mean he’d be A-OK with it all.  

Dog must be protected at all costs.  

Confession.  I know not the fuck who Pony Boy is, but I know him because all my fandom friends have pointed him out to me, lol.  RIP, Man.  I think you’re number’s up or close to it.  

Okay, though.  I admit it.  I am kinda LOVING Badass Father G.  

That scene in the subway car with all of them working to take all the Walkers out was already badass.  Then Daryl arrived and made it, in @freefromthecocoon’s words, HAWT.  LOL.  

Eugene staring at that little black book like it contains torture tools, hehehe.  

“Processed?  As in administratively?  Processed as in bologna or other meat stuffs?  This inquiring (enquiring?) mind needs to know.”  OMG, Eugene.  I admit it.  Even if it makes me look like a lunatic, LOL.  I straight up LMAO at that one.  I mean, ten years later and Terminus still fresh on the man’s mind.  

“You like feeling nervous?”  Well, no.  None of us that do, Mercer?  Do.  

Then he proceeds to make me howl with his “You can’t lie for shit” to Eugene.  

Josh McDermitt?  I love you, Man.  40 year old virgin, LOL.  

All this talk over the seasons of Daryl’s virginity and we have Eugene, hahaha.  But was he telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  

Finally.  Some daylight.  Where I can see.  

Eugene’s relief at seeing his friends safe and sound was such a beautiful thing to see.  I loved those hugs.  

Mercer’s face when he snarled “beat cop” in disdain to Ezekiel.  I think I’m gonna love this dude.  

“I went to West Point.  Asshole.”  Yeah.  I am.  

I know they probably catfishing Eugene right here because spoilers tell us that ain’t Stephanie.  But my heart still did a little d’aww.  Angela.  Don’t play with his poor heart like that.  

What’s got Daryl so pensive, huh?  Is it that the note reminds him of kids being lost or taken from their family? Or separated from their family?  Is he thinking of those Grimes babies and wondering if Michonne will ever make it back and why and how she was able to leave them behind?  Tell me it ain’t that Find Me nonsense.  

“This place sure has gone to shit since the last time I was here.”  LMAO, JDM.  I mean Negan.  Sorry.  Sorry.  I still hate Negan, but JDM has me entertained at least since they gave the asshole some shades of gray.  And speaking of shades of gray.  I’m loving the gray beard.  JDM’s looking GOOD (hear that NR?  Embrace the gray).  Negan can still kick rocks, lol.  

Anyway.  That scene was CREEPY AF.  Not even gonna lie.  

The Reapers strutting right on up to our group like it’s The Purge:  ZA.  

My bad, Pony Boy. Now RIP.  

Dark, dark episode with loads of tension broken up by some welcome humor by Princess.  The girl is fast becoming a fave of mine.  

My baby’s back next week!!!

I’m just going to plug my ears and pretend they’re trying to capture/recapture the horses because they’re pets.  Not because they’re starving so bad they feel the need to eat them.  La la la la la.  I can’t hear you.  

[chalkrevelations]

SO, Episode 28 of Word of Honor was a roller-coaster ride.

(Spoilers, as ever, so scroll away and come back later if you want to see it unspoiled.)

They managed two entirely separate scenes in this one that had me going “Did … did that just happen? Is this really happening?” Let’s get this one out of the way first: The scene of Zhao Jing in his serial killer lair with the altar and memorial tablets and his serial killer trophies. Y’all. I swear, scene opens with a shot from behind of drunk Awful Yifu in his Fantasy Ancient China underwear staggering through a set of doors into a room with candles and draperies, and before I was able to register the rest of the set design, my brain gave a terrified squeak and started rabbiting around like, “Oh my god, please do not let this be Xie’er’s bedroom. Oh my god, they wouldn’t actually go there, not even hinted, surely that would be too far!” Then my eyeballs caught up and registered the set, so I thought I was safe, but that didn’t even turn out to be the moment in the scene that had me going “Is this really happening?” (Although I do think the fact my brain immediately jumped to that scenario speaks to the creepy vibe the show has managed to build between Awful Yifu and Xie Wang). So, Zhao Jing is a sloppy drunk and absolutely shitfaced, stumbling around and yelling at his dead brothers, and I’m sitting here watching him, feeling like I need a shower, with my skin a little bit trying to crawl off my body, and then he picks up Rong Xuan’s memorial tablet and pours an entire stream of alcohol out of the pitcher all over it, and I say, out loud, to the screen, “Oh my god, they just had him figuratively piss on that tablet.” Only, no, they didn’t, because there was no need to have him do it figuratively because then, he literally whips it out of his pants and takes a piss on the tablet, complete with sound effects, and I’m open-mouthed, thinking “Is this really happening?” As some background, I grew up in mainstream U.S. culture where ancestor veneration isn’t formally practiced - although it isn’t an entirely absent part of our cultural mythos, it’s just that now when I when I offer cultus to the Patres Patriae, it’s deliberate and intentional – but I’ve been doing ancestor work in my particular flavor of polytheism for long enough, and intensely enough, that I had a visceral reaction of disgust and horror to this. Hand literally clapped over my mouth in shock, even after watching all of his ranting at his dead brothers and spitting at his dead shifu and just generally being a disrespectful asshole with delusions of grandeur building up to it. So, yes, show, you have indeed convinced me that Awful Yifu is the worst, even in an episode that also devoted that much screentime to Prince Jin.

Fortunately, the other “Is this really happening?” moment was at the other end of the spectrum, somewhere in the face of how married Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are, which I cannot believe passed censorship. I know I keep saying that, but every time I think I’ve adjusted to how far they’re going to go, the show laughs gay-ly as it pushes the envelope another mile down the road. Truly, this show is the gift that keeps on giving where these two are concerned, and not just because of Zhang Zhehan’s face. I realize I had to spend 50 episodes deciphering Lan Wangji’s smallest microexpression (not that I’m complaining), but I can’t believe how expressive both Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun are in these roles, with Gong Jun’s little sadness eyebrows when WKX wants ZZS to humor him, and how soft Zhang Zhehan’s face gets when ZZS looks at WKX, and how great they both are at making all this look like a pair of adults who are in an established relationship and confident of each other. I’d be as weak as Wen Kexing if Zhou Zishu pouted at me the way he does when he tells Chengling that he can’t do anything to help decorate the Manor except observe and direct because he’s oh, so injured and frail, poor him. Wen Kexing can laugh at Zhou Zishu when ZZS pokes at him by saying the papercrafter was such a beauty! (Compare this to his reaction back in the day, when ZZS deftly manipulated him out of bringing A-Xiang along on their honeymoon adventures by calling her a beauty and implying she might draw attention away from WKX!) Wen Kexing waves kitchen knives at Zhou Zishu in (somewhat fond) exasperation! Zhou Zishu now accepts Wen Kexing piling his plate with food at the table as perfectly normal! There’s no crying in Spring Festival! They send their kid outside to watch the fireworks so they can have sex some alone time! (Merciless killers. How the fuck so adorable?) Someone must have backed up an entire truckful of money to the house of someone very important to get this aired, because what is the heterosexual explanation for … any of this?

Other thoughts:

We continue to get small things that maintain the parallels between Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou and Gu Xiang/Cao Weining, including the mirrored theme of finding a home with a welcoming family, shown through family dinner, and expressed through WKX’s description of his former self as a “lonely ghost,” echoing A-Xiang’s self-description (to Shen Shen in an earlier ep) the same way.

HAN YING! Listen, I am stupidly attached to this bit player, and not just because he’s a familiar face (because half of Wen Xu’s screentime in The Untamed was just a disembodied head hanging at the entrance to the Unclean Realm, so it’s not like there was time to get … attached). And I say stupidly attached because ever since we first saw the way he looked at ZZS with big puppy heart-eyes, I knew he was going to be a goner. I just know they’re gonna fridge him for the next step in ZZS’s journey, because something has to pry ZZS out of Four Seasons Manor, as much as I, personally, would like nothing better than to see 8 more episodes of wedded bliss for two gay dads and their son. (OK, one thing I would like better would be if their daughter and son-in-law came to live with them, too.) At least it looks like Han Ying will get to die taking a figurative bullet for ZZS, which will make him happy and might prevent him from finding out the Glazed Armor he’s so proud of bringing is actually pointless, because don’t think that didn’t hurt to know while I watched him being so proud of managing to get his hands on it. But I’d prefer he didn’t die at all, show. Also, why on earth are there only two (completed) stories under the ZZS/Han Ying label on AO3? Because yes, I have looked. I have the search open in another tab right now. Why haven’t more people taken advantage of this guy’s utter devotion for ZZS? How are people looking at the way Han Ying reverently brushes his fingers over the single white blossom on the wall mural in ZZS’s rooms back in Prince Jin’s palace and not falling all over that?

Xie’er, oh, Xie’er. You’re killing me, here. I need someone to rescue you, you desperate affection-starved little sociopath. So, to recap, last time we met, your Awful Yifu finally let it slip that he was never ever going to acknowledge your existence in public. So now, you’re being a very clever boy, setting up a scheme to manipulate him into having to publicly acknowledge you if he’s going to claim credit for your successes (because I’m sure you can’t even contemplate failure) in service to Prince Jin. So clever, but I hate to tell you, you’re clever at everything except learning from your mistakes when it comes to your Awful Yifu. You really learned nothing from Beauty Ghost, did you? Ugh, your sad little face as you watch your hot mess of an Awful Yifu while you wait for the maids to make tea – it hurts me. Please tell me you’re playing some kind of long game, and you’re just a really great actor. Because he’s sloppy drunk, and right now, watching your face journey, I think maybe you think that makes what he’s saying true – that he’s not guarding his words, and he means it when he tells you that of course he loves you and would never leave you. “Are you still angry with me?” Awful Yifu literally asks. “Alright, I’ll apologize. I was just mad. It didn’t mean anything. We’re together in this. I’ll always stand by you.” Xie’er, you have got to stop believing gaslighting abusive men who shovel that BS. This is what they call the honeymoon period in the cycle of abuse. Seriously. This is textbook. Please stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe think about the fact that your Awful Yifu is, single-handedly, the reason the Department of the Unfaithful actually exists in the first place. He is THAT AWFUL. I would like to think actually seeing his serial killer trophy room will make a difference, now that you have some confirmation of what Tragicomic Ghost told you and not the ability to wave it off as part of some he-said, she-said situation where how could we ever possibly know the truth, despite the fact that Zhao Jing has shown he’ll stab anyone in the back in his quest for power? But, then, I also thought maybe learning last ep that he never planned to publicly acknowledge you would make some kind of difference. Are you going to roll the dice again, gambler? Because I’ll tell you right now, the house always wins. (Not that you’d listen to me anymore than you listened to Beauty Ghost.)

(Also, wait wait waitwaitwait. Waitaminit. This is pure speculation and probably way too out there to be true (oh, but, someone’s going to write this AU for me, right?) Hot-mess drunk yifu tells Xie’er that they’ve been depending on each other “ever since I picked you up and brought you back home.” I can’t remember if we know anything about Xie Wang’s background at this point, but it does sound like Zhao Jing might have literally yoinked him off the street to raise him. He … he doesn’t think Xie’er is actually Yan’er, does he? Only he kidnapped the wrong orphaned urchin by mistake? I’m just sayin’, thinking back to Shen Shen’s reaction to finding out Zhen Yan was still alive, it would be exactly the kind of thing Zhao Jing would do, to keep this kid that his brother(s) wanted to find hidden right under their noses.)

Chengling and the chicken. I can’t, y’all. And Zhou Zishu’s face as soon as he realizes what Wen Kexing is telling Chengling to do – he knows this is going to be a show.

Prince Jin, you are almost as bad as Xie’r and his awful Yifu combined:

Prince Jin: Zhou Zishu, you mastermind, your super-secret spy network continues to spread everywhere, including into my very own palace. Oh, the things you must be plotting against me!

Zhou Zishu, chillin’ at Plum Blossom Manor, day-drinking, dressing up in pretty festive robes, taking advantage of his disciple’s unpaid labor so he doesn’t have to raise a finger for himself, and providing his husband with sex so incredible he is never required to actually cook: “OK, my gay husband and our son-with-two-dads, how about we just stay here together forever and be happy?”

Also Prince Jin: *Creeps on Zhou Zishu like a gaslighting m’fker*

Anyway, if Prince Jin always knew what Han Ying was up to all along, is the letter about ZZS’s father a plant, with false info? It was just kind of suspiciously hanging out in the open on Prince Jin’s desk.

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 3 Part 2 - We’re getting INN to it now!

Meanwhile back with Scooby  and the Gang. B-characters realize that the Goldilocks is missing and it was only the 3 bears that were killed.

And we can hear them surprisingly well from this far away. Their voices must carry exceptionally well.

---------------

The spiderwebs of DEATH

Seriously though it’s been hours. How has no one either taken these wires down or run into them accidentally? You cannot tell me they have checked every bit of this place for ChengLing’s body if these are still up.

Someone has lied to you Mr. White ‘n’ Blue.

----------------------

No you fucking did not. If you were cleaning them up roughly you’d at least get the ones on the main doorways! goddamn.

-----------

Old ppl vs the Ghosts!

COME ON DOWN FOR THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE THE ALL DEAD VS THE MOSTLY DEAD THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY BE THERE BE THERE BE THERE.

---------------

The Ghost Valley is a menace! It’s high time someone went in there and eradicated them all!

Huh... never thought of that before...

-----------------------

Eh. Old people chanting the children’s rhymes doesn’t have the same tension. It’s just not the right feel. It’s a no from me.

----------------

Yes. This is perfectly far enough away. No one could possibly overhear us from this distance! I am a genius!

-----------------

We are all very worried about ChengLing’s well being. Yes. That is all. Only his well being. Nothing else. No ulterior motives here. Nope. Purely just good will and worry. :DDDD

---------------------

Ah yes! Back to my boys! :D

------------------------

You big softie.

Seriously though. He is so considerate of not only Best Boy’s physical well being but really his emotional state and autonomy as well. He doesn’t expect ChengLing to act like a full grown adult but he doesn’t treat him like a little kid either. It’s great and I’m here for it.

---------------------------------

It’s not stalking if we got here first, right? Now you’re stalking me! :D :D :D :D :D

-------------

Some day soon I’ll get you to admit you like me ;)

-------------------

-------------------------------------------------------

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat you’re here to? At this random river?????? OMG what are the chancesssssss?!?!?

At this point I just wanna know fuckin how????

----------------------------------

A-Xiang deserves a fucking medal for putting up with this BS. For real.

----------------

A-Xu you make-a him sad D:

---------------

Zhou ZiShu! Look out! They’re stealing your boat!!

-------------------------

-Hey if the ghost valley peeps come up to wreck shit it’s gonna be our shit that gets wrecked too you know? -I don’t give a farting fly’s left ass cheek! I’m one foot in the grave already.

------------------

Glazed armor this glazed armor that give me a glazed donut and let’s call it a day. I don’t careeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

------------------------------------------

Are you inn or out?

----------------------

Sorry we’re out of space because for some reason we let ourselves rent out the entire establishment to a single person. Like I get he paid for the rooms but it’d still be bad for business?? Like no one wants to go to an inn if they won’t let you stay even though there are empty rooms. Like the fuck

------------

Look elsewhere? Shit you know this is the only inn in town (apparently)!! Where we supposed to go???

Um... why don’t you try looking at I don’t give a FUCK

----------------------------

Well well well. Who could have seen this coming?

-------------------

Zhou ZiShu is about read to add a few more nails

---------------------------

This old ragged beggar man is hot as fuck. Set him up in my room at once!

Just end my suffering. I beg you

-------------------------

ChengLing just gonna keep his mouth shut and stay out of it

------------------------------

-I gave you my own room! -My room now. Kindly GTFO -But I bought you clothes too! -Yeah no one asked you. GTFO!!

-How have my seduction techniques continued to fail??????????

-------------------------------

Love me pls D:

-----------------

If Oedipus invented a wire tap he’s gonna have to work harder to get past me!!

---------------

But he doesn’t look like he’s a bad person

Bad people rarely do.

--------------------

Take the bed? I couldn’t possibly!! No! You’re taking care of me and protecting me and you’re old! You take the bed! I’ll sleep on the chair! I’m the best boy!!!

Bitch did I fucking stutter?

--------------

You owe me no explanations. I’m sure you have your reasons and that they’re good ones. But don’t suffer needlessly. Treat your wounds and I won’t ask any more about it.

--------------

MY BOY DOESN’T DESERVE THIS. ALL THIS OVER A PIECE OF FUCKIN SEA GLASS??????????

---------------

Ain’t nobody dope as me I’m just so fresh, so clean (So fresh and so clean clean)

--------------------------

Daaate niiiiiight

----------

So I get that you’re like persistently stalking me and all that but like Why??

Because I know you cute as fuck. Why you hiding? Show me what your true face and I’ll tell you what I want. What I really really want.

You first bitch

-------------

Local man tries to pry secrets out of only human in a 10 mile radius who has no ulterior motives and is confused when it doesn’t work.

--------------

Das gay

HDU

----------------------

Clink Clink bitch

-------------------------

Master can you please keep it in your pants for 5 minutes? It’s all I ask. Just 5 minutes of peace! Please!

---------

Pop Quiz! Who is the second cutest person in the world?

I will settle for anyone who feeds me

Naw. Tsundere is where it’s at.

*Is unimpressed in tsundere*

---------------------

Then who is the mostest cutest?

A tsundere with long legs, slim waist, fat ass.

Heavens strike me down now. Please end my misery. Why did I sit here? Didn’t I know better?

Anyone have any more torture nails? Anyone? Please?

-----------------------------

*Insert Mii channel theme*

--------------------

We are the unwashed masses. Let’s go fuck some shit up

---------

Hey guys. Does this look like anime style to you? Someone said it looks like anime but I don’t see it.

I think it looks great! I can’t even draw a stick figure! hahahaha

--------------------------

Sleepy boi <3

----------------

How the fuck did I become the third wheel?

-----------

*mii channel theme continues*

----------------

Your honored uncle here wouldn’t let us eat anything until you woke up even though he sat at my table. D:

-------------------

-Stop acting like a little brat and start acting polite and demure like the other girls

-Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh gross

-------------------------

We’re doing found family and we’re doing it now!

-------------------------

Why aren’t you eating?

Yeah! We had to wait all this time for you to get here and you’re not even eating anyway!!!!!!

Well my home and my entire family died, and so did that random boat man who protected me. And also there’s a hole in my stomach. So I don’t have much of an appetite atm.

Oh My God. can you not???

But that’s how I show affection!!!!!!!! D:<

---------------

Shoving food in your face to hide your tears. A time honored tradition.

Also D: Best boy is sad </3

--------------------

Oh no. More people I’m supposed to remember.

JESUS FUCK REALLY???

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW MANY? You cannot tell me they are all important. Please tell me I’m not supposed to remember this many people. I can’t handle this.

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG

THAT’S 11 PEOPLE AT ONCE! WHAT THE FUCK

---------------

Whenever this guy speaks it sounds like he’s trying really hard not to cough in front of the board meeting.

-------------

Okay so what I got from this is

There was a treaty between these peeps and the ghost peeps to say they’ll leave each other the fuck alone

The ghost peeps broke that promise by fucking with the mirror lake sect and so these peeps decided to retaliate

and they’re gonna retaliate by throwing a party? Like I guess they’re just gathering forces? But like it’s a weird way to do it.

-------------

Oh for the love of god.

--------------------------------

Pffffffffffffffff welcome to the circus

----------------------------

*sigh*

Okay y’all I can remember like 6 people. 7 Max. Y’all gonna have to be picky about who’s important here.

How many of these people do I actually have to know?

----------------------

Now what the fuck happened here and why are the twin jades here?

-------------------------

You two have a piece of the glazed ham. And even though no one is using it it’s really important that we keep it that way. No one must hold all pieces of the glazed ham. Or..... bad things?

--------------

Oh my. Pain o’clock already?

-----------------

SOMEONE GET THEIR ASS IN THERE AND GIVE MY BOY A HUG!

-----------------------

Hey! What do you see? Is he in there? I can’t see a goddamn thing.

-------------------

So I know that he’s like what, 15? And like grew up with a dad. But like you know they made him scream “A-Die” and then wake up to Zhou ZiShu’s comforting touch on purpose. You know that was planned.

Maybe not a father, but certainly a father figure.

(Also thanks, A-Xu for answering my request from earlier for someone to comfort the poor boy.)

--------------------------

What’s this? The sounds of a scuffle???

Whelp. Not anymore.

--------------------------

Couldn’t he have just ordered them to leave instead?

---------------------

The Ghost Valley seems to be following me rather closely.

Oh you have no idea. ;)

-------------------

Alcohol detected

-------------------

Let me call you a cute pet name and I’ll let you drink from my bottle of nectar. ;)

Oh my god this shit again?

----------------------

You know what?

Two can play at this game.

---------------------

You wanna see what lies underneath? Rip it off yourself.

Don’t worry! I’m patient! Sleep well! Dream of me! I know I’ll be dreaming of you! ;)

[flyboytracy]

What are your top 5 best bro moments from the boys in TAG

Only five? 😰 

So in at numero five, for me it’s gotta be Legacy. Heavy Metal narrowly misses out on fifth place, because I absolutely adore that we got to see Gordon doing what he does best and shooting something whilst TB4′s dangling out of TB2, with lilest bro trying to help and then along comes biggest bro in the best Thunderbird to get his little brothers, just like he always will. However it’s Legacy that wins fifth place because we see the Hood do his best to tear the Tracy family apart from the inside, and Scott asks “What would dad do?” in response to the Hood taking their home and their ships and their sister. And it turns out the answer is that Jeff would defend his boys by tearing the Hood’s ship apart at the seams. I just love that we got to see Thunderbird One and Two and even Thunderbird Five joined in the action! All three big brothers defended their home and sent a clear message to the Hood that the Tracy family are like zero. They Cannot Be Divided. And if you make the mistake of trying, that fierce big bro and his right hand bro and his space bro will literally tear you apart just like their papa would.

So number four on my list of best bro moments from TAG is the wonderful Home on the Range and one of the best bro moments of all time. You know the one, when Gordo acts like a lil bro and gets treated like one by his big brothers. They grab him and hurl him like the tiny lil tadpole he is and everything about that moment sends me, from the silent communication between earth and sky, to the way that lil tadpole goes flying and Alan immediately wants to join in. It fills me with joy to see those big brothers get to play with their lil brothers and it’s a very rare moment where Scott chills out and has fun. He’s an Aries. Aries have no chill. What is chill? I don’t know what chill is.

Also, the way Scott and Virg manage to throw Gordon clean over their heads just makes me go hot damn because they must be so strong to be able to do that. Like daaaamn, boys, you can toss me any day.

Aaanyway, in at number three is the polar opposite moment to that adorable carefree moment in Home on the Range. Oh yeah, I’m talking about SOS and that heckin’ moment after Gordon activates his emergency signal and Thunderbird Two launches.

And what a launch. It’s been a while yet I still tear up when it cuts to Thunderbird Two and we don’t get the launch music. Instead we get punched in the teeth by the most emotional theme heard thus far in the show and then if that wasn’t enough, there’s no shots of the launch chute. No “Thunderbird Two is Go”. There’s nothing but the sight of two big brothers and a lil brother off to see if Gordon’s survived because Johnny can’t get hold of him and it breaks my heart because I bet the last time they launched like that was after the Zero X exploded.

This moment is the only moment we see a Tracy brother in true peril and it makes my heart hurt to think about what would’ve been running through those big brothers’ minds as they launched. Virg wasn’t with him and it’s not like he could’ve done anything to help but he Wasn’t There when his wingman needed him and Scott wasn’t there when Gordon needed his biggest brother most. I bet there was a conversation that went on long into a sleepless night that night.

In contrast, my most second favourite moment in TAG is when those brothers had each others’ backs. Firebreak is my single most favourite episode of TAG because we get to see Dad!Scott at his finest and get some great backstory on him and his papa. And on top of that we have Virg, cool, calm and collected Virg who only gets stressed when his equipment fails in midair, or his best friend is about to be cooked to death in the middle of a wildfire. I love, love, LOVE that we get to see Virg going from fighting the fire just like his idol Kit, to realising that he isn’t enough and big bro’s in serious peril. Except then along comes two tinies and after all those missions where they get swept down rivers or blown over sand dunes, they get to kick ass and save Virgil’s so he can go and do what he does best.

I just really, really love Firebreak, y’all.

And so we come to the end of my lil countdown. You’ve probably guessed what moment is my single favourite Tracy bro moment of all time, but I’m gonna GIF it anyway. It’s this one!

It’s The Long Reach. It was always gonna be The Long Reach from the moment it aired. I love Every Single Thing about the opening scenes of part two, from the moment Johnny realises there’s TWO life signs, to that incredible music and that shot of Thunderbird Two’s doors opening to welcome their Papa home. The way Alan dives at his dad and hugs him ‘til his bones pop is my favourite thing and then we see Scotty. Our Flyboy. That man we’ve followed for such a short space of time but he’s come to mean so much to so many people because of his attitude towards life.

That man lost his mom when he was just a kid, then lost his childhood because he had four lil brothers to look after and we know how seriously he would’ve taken that. He lost everything and then he went and lost his dad too and had to live with his failure to save Jeff every single day for eight years. We saw how much it haunted him in episodes like Recharge, yet saw what a wonderful man he’d become in episodes like Crosscut where he saves the life of someone who kept trying very hard to kill him. We saw him take on the mantle of Commander of International Rescue and by the time we get to The Long Reach, he’s really grown from that fella chewing himself to pieces in Undercover. He’s wise and he’s strong and he’s brave and he gets them there. There to the Oort Cloud and the unknown.

And then he gets to bring his dad home to his lil brothers, and I bet he promised he’d do that eight long years ago. Aries are known for their fiery spirits, their determination and stubbornness and that we’re always on a mission. For eight long years Scott was on a mission and we finally get to see the moment his mission was complete.

And I’m just never gonna be over that face, like ever.

Thank you for attending my TED talk, now mind how you go.

[livlepretre]

The thing about your character interpretation of Elena is that you really draw from her initial core traits and character arcs. I think some people might disagree with you about interpretation because they are remembering Elena from the later seasons. It is like if you wore a slightly different colored shirt everyday for a few months. You could start out with a blue shirt and end with a yellow one, but everyone would be under the impression you have been wearing the same colored shirt the whole time. Season 5 is the start of this skewed view of Elena, I believe. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that she was A.) a vampire and B.) less involved with the main conflict of the season. Sure, the plot of season 5 had a lot to do with doppelganger destiny and whatnot, but think about how that plot relates to Elena throughout the season. What was she doing to stop Augustine Society? If it were season two or three Elena, she would have probably used her charm and familial connections to the society to infiltrate them and find a way to shut them down. But season 5 Elena is barely involved in anything. In fact, her screen time decreases dramatically this season. I just scrubbed through an episode to fact check what Elena was doing, and she was in like 5 scenes. However, Nina Dobrev herself appeared in way more scenes as Katherine. I think having Nina Dobrev playing 2 main characters in one season was an extremely difficult bad idea. Having two doppelgangers as main characters would be awesome in a written story (like in but still, like dust, i’ll rise by twocankeepasecret), but with a live action format where both characters have to be played by one actress, it just isn’t feasible. The vampire aspect also made all scenes Elena was in kind of boring. She didn’t really have to come up with anything interesting because she could now physically fight with her enemies. The episode where Qetsiyah traps her and Stefan in a lake house could have been interesting, but the problem was solved by them stabbing her and then superspeeding out of the building. Jesse attacks Damon two episodes later and Elena solves the problem by just superspeeding up to them and staking him in the back. It takes all the fun out of how Elena goes about doing things. Season six marks the first season without any doppelganger relevance. Elena is compelled to lose all good memories of Damon, and that could have been interesting. Since Elena was specifically compelled to hate Damon in a way that wouldn’t make her miss him, we could have seen how Elena deals with him after he comes back. This is an Elena who believes she didn’t forgive Damon for killing her brother. That could have been an interesting arc to see, but no. Elena falls in love with him like 4 episodes later, so did it even really matter? The point is, I think people have a hard time seeing Elena as she used to be because the audience really stopped getting to see those traits of hers in the later seasons. Her prominence in the narrative, and the obstacles that she had to overcome sort of disappear until the Elena that you’re looking at doesn’t resemble the one you started with. That is why you're an absolute gem to this fandom. Your stories all feature a post season 3 Elena who retains her character traits. Your gift of creating complex emotional conflicts proves that in a show like TVD, you don’t have to keep going bigger and badder. Sometimes the best way to expand the plot is to make the conflict more personal and utilize the characters and relationships established throughout the previous seasons. Elena’s arc throughout FE, especially the isolation arc, is a perfect example of this. Moments like Elena trying to will Klaus to come back, having her miscarriage, and almost accidently drowning are all heartwrenching, and it makes the scenes like her deciding to make the most of her life/ falling for Rebekah (her once tormentor) so much more rewarding. This was entirely too long, but just know, you are seriously my fav fanfic author, and your takes and analysis are always welcome here.

I'm actually a bit overwhelmed by this, thank you so much for sending this in. I agree with you so completely that a lot of the issue seems to be that Elena's characterization does change radically-- I don't really recognize her in seasons 5 & 6-- which is why I largely ignore them when writing for her character. (And that's what fanfic is for-- taking the pearls and chucking out the clots of dirt.) Seasons 1-3 Elena is an entirely different character, the true version of the character, in my opinion-- since she was at this point still the main character on the show, and a force of agency and plot development. You've also articulated something which drives me wild about the later seasons once she becomes a vampire-- super speed plus super strength basically negate the need for Elena to find interesting and twisty ways to solve her problems-- she no longer has to scheme and seduce and take insane risks, because she has supernatural powers. She no longer needs to make back room secret deals with giants who could crush her, or stab herself or slit her own throat in wild gambles, or even just to charm people-- and that takes away a key element of her character. Which is such a shame, because we see Katherine displaying these same traits as a vampire, and we can see that Katherine is the natural culmination of where Elena is heading, which is so dark and so fascinating in those early seasons. I agree completely with your analysis of what went wrong with the later seasons, and why the earlier seasons really worked for Elena as a character, and why fandom has such a bad taste in its mouth about where Elena ended up do to some truly bizarre and unfortunate storytelling decisions.

And-- gosh-- thank you x a million for your comments on FE. I am so appreciative and cannot wait to share the rest of the story with you!!

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x09-- And the end was violent...

It’s been a busy week, but I didn’t want to wait until after 5x10 aired to write this. This recap may be a bit rushed (read: I am going to make an effort to just skip over scenes I don’t care about; we’ll see how many of those there actually are). I didn’t love this episode overall, but I thought it was a huge improvement over 5x08’s parking ticket fiasco and wish it had immediately followed 5x07.

Bless these episodes for not being overly long

Oooh, the opening sequence is long and I have nothing to say about it! Thanks for making my life easier, writers!  

The point of this opening is to show that there are lots of problems with the official court system—inefficiencies, inconveniences like broken elevators, overcrowding in prisons (though, uh, I don’t think the actual problem there is that there’s not room to incarcerate more people)-- that might make cops open to an alternative like Wackner’s court.

I know the cop thread kind of started with last week’s parking nonsense, but surely there was a way other than the parking nonsense to bridge the gap between 5x07’s prison system and 5x09’s focus on Wackner’s court suddenly being a replacement for criminal court, too.

(Y’all, I have SO MANY questions about how Wackner can POSSIBLY judge criminal cases, but they’re all just variations on... UH, GUYS, ISN’T THIS ILLEGAL? LIKE SUPER DUPER ILLEGAL?)  

I see that there is a filming notice when the cops bring a dude into Wackner’s court, and that the notice says that by entering on the premises you consent to being on film. I do not think that this sign being displayed would hold up as evidence of anyone consenting to be sentenced to a private prison on criminal charges.

New question: How did Wackner Rules get on the air so fast? And are they just filming endless episodes in real time? They just film anyone who walks in?  

I think there is supposed to be a subplot about Marissa liking fame and attention; it is almost a little too subtle to be meaningful. I see a through line from her sleeping with that editor dude last week to her smiling at the flowers in this scene to her scenes with Carmen later this episode. Unfortunately, I need a lot more for this to work.

I don’t need Marissa to be a hero who constantly does the right thing and calls out Wackner on crossing the line, but I’m really sad that this is what they’re using Marissa for when we were due for Marissa calling Wackner out (in a meaningful, lasting way) like two episodes ago. It’s felt odd to me that she just sticks around and assists Wackner and Del when they’re doing things like putting people in private prisons and comparing the show they’re making to The Apprentice. Any subtle shift in Wackner’s decisions that has signaled to me that he’s gone too far is something that I can say with certainty would signal the same to Marissa. Marissa’s outspoken and passionate, and we have seen enough reaction shots to know she knows things are going bad, fast. Am I really meant to believe that because she likes Wackner and she likes fame, she’s not going to do anything more substantial than look upset from time to time? Not only does that feel out of character, it’s also just boring.  

And, it speaks to another problem I’m starting to have with the arc: they needed to get to the point faster. Once Wackner said “David Cord’s private prison,” this stopped being fun. It would’ve stopped being fun for Marissa and it stopped being fun for viewers (seriously though, the change in tone on Reddit between 5x07 and 5x08/5x09 is VERY noticeable). So why did we follow that up with some repetitive filler bullshit about parking spaces and then start getting back to the point in this episode? I’m sure they’re going somewhere big in 5x10, but you can’t follow an explosive reveal with more status quo.

(Also, lol, I think the parking space thing was meant to be a fun silly absurd little way of entering into themes about authority and Wackner trying to legitimize his court, but it was about an issue so relatable and illogical that I think it feels even harder to believe than the, like, whole concept of a secret court in a Copy Coop.)  

Time for Marissa to look concerned again! She’s confused about if the case is real or not, and when Wackner says it’s real, she says it’s not for their court and it’s crossing a line. She is absolutely correct. Wackner’s like, let me know if you think I’m crossing a line after I rule, and then he makes a silly flailing gesture that Marissa can use as a signal.

I actually don’t hate that scene; it is a good scene. I am only snarking on it because it feels like familiar territory and it belonged in an earlier episode.

Am I correctly understanding that these cops wanted to be filmed bringing a man against his will to a fake court with a private prison? And that they wanted this to air on television? Okay.

I will say that I believe the motivations of everyone involved except Marissa. Wackner thinks he’s doing good for the world. Del is getting good TV (I mean, I still think that Wackner Rules title sequence is shit and the show Del seems to be making is terrible, but that’s besides the point). Cord has so much money he’s untouchable and this is fun for him. The cops just don’t want to deal with bureaucracy when it comes to someone who they basically caught in the act.  

Court! Stuff! Happens!

Wackner sentences the guy to one year in “David Cord’s private prison.” Again, I know they have to say this for exposition/storytelling reasons, but I continue to find it hilarious that David Cord would want his name to be used in this way (because he like, absolutely would not want his name to be used this way).

The cops like Wackner’s verdict so they tell all their friends to also take their cases to Wackner. What could possibly go wrong!  

Like, yeah, there are problems with the criminal justice system—and some of them are even the ones these cops are mad about—but this is ABSOLUTELY not the answer!!! You cannot just take people off the streets and place them in private prisons because they were forced to enter a filming zone for a TV show what the actual fuck

Love David Lee still having candy on his desk. Some things never change.

Allegra, who was welcomed by the partners of RL last week, is interviewing for a job with David Lee. I don’t understand. Doesn’t David Lee have to approve new partners at RL?  

Please don’t mention real estate on Mars, Allegra. You’ve made me think of Jason and how bad season seven was.

Allegra is feeling a bit different from Elsbeth this episode, though she very much still has some Elsbeth energy. She is very strategic and blunt in a way Elsbeth isn’t, and she seems a little more focused and intense.  

“I notice, in a partisan world, the person in the middle controls the agenda,” Allegra says of her alliances with both Liz and Diane. This is interesting. What are Allegra’s goals here? Just to have power? Does she have a vision for RL? Is it just a good paycheck?

(My guess is it’s about power and money for her. I don’t think she is going to be the ally Madeline wants. I don’t think anyone who voluntarily signs up to be a name partner at a firm owned by corporate overlords is a natural ally for Madeline though, tbh.)

(I really hoped this arc would explore that just a tiny bit more. The longer this conflict drags on the more convinced I become that the whole question of if it’s appropriate for Diane to lead a black firm is moot. It’s an interesting and complicated question, but with some distance from the plot, it becomes pretty clear that in this particular situation, RL isn’t a black firm. It’s a subsidiary of a large multinational corporation.)

(The show seems very aware of this and keeps having plot points like Diane using David Lee to keep her job and having Madeline call out all the awful clients they have... but it needs to go somewhere.)

(This also may be why I’m more down on the end of the season—in the middle of the season, nods at the things I’ve been thinking are appreciated references. At the end, they’re more like plotholes or reminders of the questions we should actually be spending time on.)

“Are you shitting me?” David Lee storms into the room as Liz and Diane are working. “David, we are shitting you about so many things, you’re gonna have to be more specific,” Liz responds. God, funny!Liz is maybe my favorite part of season 5?  

Liz calls David out on his power, noting that he also reports to STR Laurie. So it seems like Liz and Diane can make decisions on their own, and STR Laurie can overrule them, but not stop them in advance?  

This little ad about an ice cream chain is like, 15 seconds too long.  

Carmen is back!!!! She’s helping Rivi sign a deal with an ice cream chain so that they’ll turn into a distributor of weed.  

Why do we have to watch a SECOND commercial?  

The farm wants Rivi to stop dealing other drugs if they’re going to enter into this deal.  

Allegra, another character who seemingly has no qualms about representing drug kingpins, quickly impresses Rivi.  

I understand why there is an interpreter for Rivi’s wife. I do not understand why the interpreter interprets conversations BETWEEN Rivi and his wife. And then he’s translating the sign language into Spanish? But also Rivi speaks fluent English in half of these scenes? WHAT is happening?  

Allegra is also different from Elsbeth in that with clients, you’re NEVER going to underestimate her. You might not follow her at first, but she’ll get to the point clearly and concisely and without telling you how much she likes your lipstick.

But like at 13:44 Rivi signs something to his wife, and when she signs back the interpreter tells him what she’s saying. This is so so so clearly for the audience but I wish it had just been captions because it makes NO SENSE that the interpreter is in on this private conversation between two people who both know sign language!?  

Rivi and Isabel now LOVE Allegra. Diane and Liz are like, okay!  

Cop stuff happens.  

Credits!!! If you haven’t already, be sure to check out indiewire’s piece on the making of the credits—it's fascinating.  

Brooke directed 😀  

Marissa the celebrity is signing autographs in Wackner’s court when the cops bring in some young men affiliated with Rivi.  

NO, GOD NO, NOT THIS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE FUCKERY. The problem I have with the Devil’s Advocate, in addition to it being fucking annoying, is that it is also the exact opposite of what Wackner’s court is all about. Wackner is about facts and really hearing people out, and from what we’ve seen, Devil’s Advocate is about... stereotypes and pop sociology so bad it’s essentially just racism?  

“These young men are the victims of a system that arbitrarily declares some drugs illegal, and others, like alcohol, not. They should be released. To hold them is to perpetuate an unfair system,” Devil’s Advocate says. Good lord, a 7th grader could write a more persuasive speech than this bullshit.  

WHY IS DAVID CORD PROSECUTING THIS, WHY IS THE TRIAL ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT DRUGS HARM COMMUNITIES, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE SOUNDING LIKE A WHITE BOY IN AN INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY CLASS WITH HIS REFERENCES TO THE WIRE, WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING OMG MAKE IT STOP HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BAD

Why is Marissa the court clerk being called upon to be defense, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE JUST SCREAMING “DEFUND THE POLICE” WHAT THE FUCK

I’m sorry, I am going to rant about this more, I truly cannot get over how fucking stupid the Devil’s Advocate is. He just starts screaming “defund the police”??? To what end?! Why does Wackner want this in his court?!  

I revise what I said earlier. Devil’s Advocate isn’t just sounding a white boy in an intro to sociology class. He is sounding like a white boy who showed up to an intro to sociology class absolutely hammered.

Marissa, correctly, argues that the arrestees should be taken to Cook County. Then she hears that they work for Rivi and she knows this is bad.  

Cord calling Marissa out for her firm representing Rivi: Another thing that would NEVER air on Wackner Rules.

David Lee seems surprised Liz and Diane did not get rid of Allegra. I don’t know why he is surprised, I think they made it very clear they don’t see him as an authority figure.

STR Laurie is now demanding (another) 10% in cuts to pay for Allegra. Liz says they’ll pay for her with the money that used to be for Adrian and Diane notes that Allegra has more stature than Adrian. Interesting.  

David Lee then decides to be both sexist and racist for really no reason at all. Pleasant!  

Showing Carmen as competent but not yet as strategic as Allegra is a really nice way to underline that Carmen is still a first year even if she is very very good.

Liz, Diane, and Allegra talk about cost cutting. Allegra is like, no, we need to spend more, which makes sense, both for the reasons she outlines and because when you bring on a powerful name partner, your need for lower level support does not DECREASE, it INCREASES.  

I know this scene is meant to show Allegra thinking outside the box, but I am a bit surprised that (1) Neither Liz nor Diane push back on the 10% cut and (2) When Allegra suggests hiring back all the associates and then some, Diane seems to think Allegra doesn’t understand they’re talking about cuts? Like, obviously she knows the topic of conversation, Diane.  

“We don’t run our own business. We work for a global conglomerate,” Liz notes. Yup. Right point, wrong context lol.

Diane and Liz are just too smart and strategic to have to be told ALL of this by Allegra... especially Diane, who is not only smart but also used to dealing with management.  

And worse... Liz and Diane think they made a mistake with Allegra because of this? I mean, I guess if your goal is to permanently work for a big corporation that will slowly chip away at your budget because they can and to never make any waves because that might disrupt the status quo, sure, Allegra isn’t who you want! But do Diane and Liz REALLY want the status quo?  

I hope they find a way out from under STR Laurie next year, as much as I hate the firm switching, because it’s just such a boring dead-end when Diane and Liz don’t actually have power or control.

OOOH I like Del asking Liz what SHE wants wrt the whole Diane situation. She says she wants to “stop fighting” and for Diane to “stop using her racist clients to keep her job” and for “the firm to be led in the right way by the right people.” So sounds like she wants to work with Diane, then? That last one is as vague as can be, but I think we can infer at this point that Liz is more concerned with stability and a work environment she likes than idealism.

God, Liz and Alicia would’ve gotten along so well as adults lmao.

Del tells Liz that “women at work always want to be thought of as nice. Women always want consensus. But you know what, baby, sometimes you just gotta say, ‘Fuck you, and you and you and you. Alright? This is my business and it’s my decision.’” I see where he’s coming from (even though this sounds like something my nemesis the Devil’s Advocate would say) but I am not sure I agree that’s Liz’s problem here.  

Actually, maybe I do agree with Del. I think Del’s saying to say FU to Diane, but what Liz clearly actually wants to do is say FU to Madeline lol

Liz asks him to change the topic. Where ARE they? Is this a restaurant or an incredibly nice backyard?  

Del changes the topic to how his boss wants him to come back to LA, but he wants to get Liz’s thoughts on their future. Liz asks him to start since men are better at saying what they mean (ha, love her giving him shit for that).  

He basically tells her he wants to stay and she says he should stay. Aww.  

Rivi’s house is... certainly something.  

Isabel is concerned because three of their boys have disappeared. She, naturally, suspects they’re at police blacksites.  

I’m sorry, did Marissa not elevate the Rivi case in Wackner’s court to the partners’ attention!? Rivi blames the dairy company, even though this does not... make that much sense?

This escalates into the murder of cows?? What... the fuck.

Now Marissa finds Carmen and loops her in! But only now that she knows Rivi’s looking for them and Rivi’s about to, like, kill Christian Borle’s character whose name I’ve forgotten.  

Marissa’s position on this is that Wackner will just let the boys go so Rivi shouldn’t know about any of this. Rivi would just kill Wackner. And Carmen is like, Rivi will just kill Christian Borle if we don’t tell. Fair point.  

Carmen, being an actual adult (sorry Marissa, I usually love you), is willing to admit when she’s in over her head, so she walks off to go get Liz for help. Yay!  

Rivi is not impressed with Wackner’s court or Marissa. He and Isabel want either Carmen or Allegra. Liz says Carmen will do it, I think meaning Marissa will do it but Carmen will be client facing.  

I love it when we get to see Liz just be super competent. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it’s just very, very clear in this scene how much better Liz is at handling this situation than Carmen or Marissa would’ve been and I like it when the show makes time to emphasize that even on a show full of hypercompetent people, some people are more skilled than others at handling some situations.

Liz, Diane, and David meet with STRL over Zoom. Allegra somehow pops up on the meeting but also joins as a cat because you know what the cat lawyer on Zoom needed? To be parodied on TGF. Ugh

OH MY GOD I DIDN’T PUT THIS TOGETHER SOONER BUT IT’S A CAT LAWYER YOU GUYS. This will mean NOTHING to any of you because it’s about an inside joke I have with the friend who got me into TGW, but indulge me in a little nostalgia here, ‘kay? So in like 2012, there was a trend on Tumblr where everyone would photoshop cat ears onto their favorite TV characters and my friend and I were like, why would I want to put cat ears on my favorite character, idgi. So then we started photoshopping cat ears on to the most unlikely characters and we landed on David Lee. We referred to David Lee as a cat for a really long time. Like, if we were to talk about David Lee today we would probably still call him Cat! David Lee.  

Allegra starts trying to work her magic on STRL.  Diane literally runs down the stairs to try to stop Allegra. I am not sure why Diane and Liz are so anti-Allegra during this conversation which is only happening so they can have the funds to keep her on board!  

Allegra tries to share a burrito with Diane and Liz and says she stands by her strategy. Liz finally says she’s not sure this will work. Allegra is understanding.

I respect that. Allegra may as well go all out and see if she can make this workable.  

(That said, this is pretty much the opposite of her whole staying neutral thing from earlier!)

No one is in the audience at Wackner’s court when Carmen shows up, yet the musician who I like only very slightly more than Devil’s Advocate is still on call. Just STOP.  

Overall I’ve liked the Wackner arc and I’m excited to see it wrap up tomorrow, but lemme tell you: it had better wrap up tomorrow. I am NOT open to dealing with this for another season.

The musician takes orders from Cord? The cameras are rolling? Rivi is there? WHAT?  

I know that NONE of this makes sense, but some things make exceptionally little sense and I just can’t.

Guys, remember the parking tickets?!  

Oh, excuse me, the ice cream company is actually a yogurt company.

Rivi notes that there are three boys missing. Wackner only has two.  

I am a little surprised Rivi has managed to be successful with that temper. Idk what skill set you need to be a top drug dealer, but he attacks people like three times an episode and that seems like a really good way to not build trust and to also get yourself killed?  

Liz and Del talk about what happened in Wackner’s court. Liz asks how they deal with liability. I guess she isn’t Del’s lawyer, then. Del says they have releases and people want to be on TV. Liz says what I’ve been saying, which is that Rivi doesn’t want to be on TV. Del says there are ways around that and references the show Cops as though that’s enough to make this question go completely away.  

Liz references The Apprentice, for those of us who didn’t catch the reference last week and/or for those of us (me!) who wanted to pretend that Wackner wasn’t somehow a commentary on Trump and star power. Ugh.  

(I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad point, I just am not sure that I think it is the most interesting point about the Wackner plot.)  

“Remember how we all watched and laughed and thought it was funny when they fired people?” Liz says. “We? No, no. Hmm, you... you never watched The Apprentice,” Del responds. She did not. Hahahahahaha I love this exchange. It feels very real.

Liz seems less concerned with Wackner and more concerned with Del’s eagerness to turn Wackner into a larger than life personality with a devoted following, which, yes, thank you, Liz, this is actually a much better and more interesting point!  

“That came out of nowhere,” Del says. “No, it didn’t,” Liz responds, correctly.  

Del talks about how Liz represents Wackner, along with murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and yet she wants to draw the line at reality show producer who makes people famous? He’s got a point, even if I’d argue that choosing a romantic partner is not the same as running a business.  

“Would your firm turn down [the producer of The Apprentice] if he wanted to join the roster?” Del asks. “Good point,” Liz sighs, resigned. She’s not happy he’s right, but she knows he is.  

Sigh. I already said some variation of this, but this season seems to have all the right ideas floating around, it’s just choosing the wrong ones to explore deeply and the wrong moments to mention other ones. Things like Liz worrying that someone she’s considering starting a serious relationship with might have some personality traits she doesn’t love can be done through throwaway lines that quickly come back to being about work/plot (that’s what happens in this scene, basically) and I love that. But the existence of STRL and the influence it has over whether or not RL is a black firm at some point can’t be dealt with through references. Wackner becoming increasingly off the rails can’t be turned down to a simmer after reaching boiling point. RL’s unsavory client’s can’t just come up in moments like this; they have to play into a central conflict.  

Like, what good is it to constantly remind the audience that RL represents a ton of “bad guys” if you’re not going to go anywhere with that other than making Liz and Diane occasionally be like, “hmm, good point.” when called out on their client list? This could be a really, really good piece of a larger puzzle about the culture at RL, and instead it feels like it’s a card they play whenever they need some moral complexity. Just... go somewhere with it, please. Either stop pretending that RL are the good guys or have them seriously deal with their client list.

Anyway, then Liz and Del talk about his possible LA move. It’s kinda inconclusive; they talk about work just being work.

Outside of court, Carmen doesn’t believe that Wackner only has two of Rivi’s boys.  

“I don’t know why you’ve been wasting so much time with this joke court, because it’s not gonna magically turn you into a real lawyer, Marissa,” Carmen lashes out. Oooo. Now this is interesting, can I have an extended version of this scene and also all the other Carmen/Marissa scenes that we should’ve gotten in the episodes Carmen was barely in?  

I understand Carmen’s frustration, especially since I imagine she worked pretty damn hard to get into/get through law school. And, as fun and smart as Marissa can be, she does get bored easily, try to skip over the dull moments, and moves on and still always lands on her feet. I can see how that would rub Carmen the wrong way, especially during a stressful moment.

Carmen isn’t exactly a rule follower, but I’d say she is someone who is very conscious of the rules, and, I think someone who values structure more than she lets on (I especially see this in her decision to stay at RL instead of work independently/with Lester).  

Marissa calls Jay for help!

Allegra talks to David Lee, with Liz and Diane in the background. Allegra makes her argument to  David Lee again and it goes over well. I think the writers think there’s more suspense in this plot than there is; it’s pretty obvious from the start that Allegra is correct and Diane and Liz are only correct if the goal is to avoid all conflict.

What is David Lee’s role at STRL? Is there anything else in that office besides awful HR and RL? He talks like he is more RL than STRL and that doesn’t track with what we saw of STRL last year.

Marissa spots a flyer that leads her and Jay to where the missing boy is: another fake court. This was inevitable—I think one of the very first things I said was that Wackner himself seemed fine and decent, but what happens when someone else decides they, too, want to be a judge because they said so—and I’m glad to see the writers go this direction. I actually think this would’ve been an effective build after 5x07 and would’ve kept turning up the tension, so again, most of my issues with this arc lie in 5x08’s momentum killing bullshit. It’s hard to get back into this plot when they lost me last week.

Shocker: Wackner having a reality show inspired more copy cats who take cues from the show and think Marissa is a celebrity.  

Vinetta, the judge of the second court, puts people in “time-out” (read: imprisons them in her basement) and... yeah, I don’t care how kind she is to them, this is not okay! The solution to the prison system is not for people to turn their basements into prisons!  

I don’t know that the writers are TRYING to comment on this here, but there is definitely something to be said about communities that the legal system repeatedly fails finding alternative measures of justice.  

Vinetta is nice and seems reasonable as a judge, but she also has a basement prison her judgments are influenced by her religious believes so, uh, yeah, not good!!!  

Wackner, however, thinks Vinetta’s court is GREAT! He wants to go see it, because “it’s finally happening.” What’s happening? “Justice,” he says. Uhhhhhhh, no. This is just so dangerous, even if everyone involved so far seems to mean well.  

I’m very curious to see how this little thought experiment wraps up (again: I say wraps up because I cannot deal with the thought of this being more than a one season arc).

One thing I love about the Wackner arc—my 5x08 issues aside—is its slow burn. The writers did a phenomenal job of getting me to take Wackner seriously at first, then slowly started to take all the things that seemed great and reasonable about Wackner’s court to their extremes (while still making his judgment on any individual topic* sound). It’s a very fun and entertaining thought experiment, and I think that’s why this arc has largely succeeded for me, even though it’s so far removed from reality.  

* Exceptions to this include policing, prisons, cancel culture, and, of course, parking spaces.  

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 1, Episode 1: Wolf Moon (Part One)

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader (eventually)

Notes: Welcome to Episode One! Buckle in, this series really takes on a mind of it’s own...

I enjoy writing it so I hope you have just as much fun reading it! Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you lovely people. 

I rested my head against the cool glass to my right and let out a tired sigh. We’d been in the car for what felt like days. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to get comfortable against the door. It was a couple hours past sunset by the time the first sign of our new home came into view. It was made of wood and looked no less than a hundred years old. Four words were sprawled across it in big, white letters.

                     WELCOME TO BEACON HILLS

As soon as we passed it, moms fingers tightened against the steering wheel.

“Hey, no more incidents, okay honey? This town is our last option.”

I closed my eyes tightly and tried to ignore her condescending tone. I was well aware of my mistakes and the fact that this was our fourth move in the last year. I knew it was my fault. I didn’t need her to remind me.

The rest of the drive was silent. It wasn’t exactly tense, but it wasn’t pleasant either. This unspoken rift had formed between us not long ago, and it grew with each of my slip ups. With every new move. She was trying her best, that much was obvious, but there are only so many new places to go. I guess that’s why she said this is our last chance.

My last chance.

It was nearly midnight now, and I was no closer to sleep than I had been when I plopped myself down onto my new bed. Mom bought everything and had it delivered before we got here, like she always does. It was kind of our routine at this point.

Just then, I heard screaming from outside my bedroom window. It was like two people were taking turns scaring each other. One yelled out, then the other, until they eventually fell into silence. I sat up in bed and wandered over to my window. I peered toward my neighbors house, where the noise had come from, and saw two boys out on the porch.

One had a baseball bat that he was waving around animatedly, while the other was somehow hanging upside down from the roof. I opened my window as quietly as I could and let my elbows rest on the edge. A shiver ran down the back of my neck as the chilly night air brushed against it. I stuck my head outside to listen in on their conversation.

“Look, I know it’s late, but you gotta hear this.” The upside boy said excitedly. “I saw my dad leave twenty minutes ago. Dispatch called, they’re bringing in every officer from the Beacon department and even state police.”

The other boy lowered his bat. “For what?”

Despite being outside in the middle of the night, the two weren’t talking quietly. I could hear everything they were saying clearly as their voices echoed my way.

“Two joggers found a body in the woods.” Upside down boy gracefully fell into the bushes below.

My breath caught and my stomach tightened uncomfortably at his words. A body was found nearby? I thought Beacon Hills was a secluded, safe town. 

“A dead body?” As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed that one of the boys had slightly shaggy hair and was wearing a red zip-up hoodie. He leaned over the wooden railing to look at his friend.

Upside down boy popped back up and slammed his hands on the railing. “No, a body of water. Yes, dumbass! A dead body.”

I couldn’t help but snicker at that. The guy was funny, although this didn’t seem like a joking matter. 

“You mean like...a murder?”

Upside down boy, who for some reason was wearing way too many layers to count, swung himself over the porch railing. Seriously, he had on a t-shirt, a flannel, and a thick jacket. It wasn’t that cold. “No one knows yet. Just that it was a girl, probably in her twenties.”

“Hold on. If they found a body, then what are they looking for?” They were facing each other now, the bat forgotten on the floor.

“That’s the best part! They only found half!” My brows pinched at the guy’s excitement. Why would either of them care about a dead body? Especially if it were as gruesome as that? 

I stepped back into my room and shut the window tightly, my stomach churning. I chewed on my bottom lip anxiously. That was weird. They were weird, and I wanted no part of it. I padded back toward my bed and crawled under the covers. I sighed as warmth enveloped me and tried to forget everything I’d overheard. I needed to get some sleep. The first day of school was tomorrow and I had to make a good first impression. It was only my first night in this town. I couldn’t be tangled up in anything weird.

I couldn’t make the same mistakes already.

                                                     ————————

I woke with a harsh gasp, my throat constricting in pain. I blinked rapidly, trying to force my eyes to adjust to the darkness around me. My palms were damp, and the tips of my fingers numb, as I pushed myself up into a sitting position. I stilled at the squishy feeling under my ass and brought my hand up toward my eyes slowly.

My breath caught again at the sight of dirt on my skin. My head whipped both left and right as I realized I was outside. Not only was I outside, but I was nowhere near my house. I was in the middle of a forest.

“No, no, no...” I muttered, staggering to my feet.

This cannot be happening again. Not already. I haven’t even been here for one freaking night. My teeth started chattering as the freezing air brushed against my bare skin. I was only wearing a pair of leggings and a short sleeved shirt. It was enough to keep me warm inside my bed, but not here. 

I took a few steps forward, but stopped as the sound of crunching earth echoed my way. Lights flashed, and a dog barked aggressively. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden noise and moved to hide behind a tree. I peered around and saw one of the boys from before—the one with buzzed hair and too many layers—fall to the ground with a shriek. His friend ran off somewhere to hide.

“Hang on! Hang on!” An angry voice shouted. “This little delinquent belongs to me.” 

A man who I quickly registered, due to his uniform, as the Sheriff stepped between the boy and a still barking dog. The few officers around him backed off at the wave of his hand. He turned on a flashlight and shined it in the boys face, who bounced back to his feet and wiped his hands on his loose-fitting jeans.

“Hey dad, how ya doin?”

So the Sheriff is his dad. Makes sense given the two boys earlier conversation. Maybe that will prevent all of us from getting into serious trouble if we’re caught. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. How the hell would I explain why I was here?

“Oh hi, I’m the new girl by the way, and I just sleep-walked myself deep into this unfamiliar forest. No big deal though. It’s not like this has happened before.”

Yeah. I don’t think so.

“So...you, uh, listening to all of my phone calls?”

“No! Well, not the boring ones.”

“Where’s your usual partner in crime?”

“Who, Scott?” The boy tried to catch his breath while he thought of a believable lie. “Scott’s at home. Said he wanted to get a good nights sleep for the first day back at school tomorrow. It’s just me. In the woods. Alone.”

Not bad, actually. Except for that last part. I got the sense that he talked a lot when nervous, but figured he had more than enough practice lying to his father.

“Scott, you out there?” The Sheriff’s voice echoed through the dense trees. He moved his flashlight in my direction and I quickly pressed my back against the other side of the scratchy bark. I winced as it bit into my skin through my thin shirt. “Scott!”

My heart was threatening to burst out of my chest, it was beating so hard. I sealed my eyes shut as a moment of quiet passed.

“Well, young man, I’m going to walk you back to your car, and we’re going to have a discussion about something called invasion of privacy...”

Their voices slowly faded away. I stood painfully still for several seconds afterward to make sure they were gone. Just as I was about to move, I heard a twig snap to my left. My gaze fell on the other boy—Scott, apparently—who’s back was to me. He took off running before I could even fully register that he was there.

I blinked once, twice, three times. My body sagged against the tree in exhaustion. Whatever I had just witnessed was not good and I needed to get home before mom noticed I was gone. Or now, preferably. I groaned in pain as my head suddenly began to throb harshly.

“No, no. Not right now...”

My knees hit the wet ground and I clamped both hands over my temples. Images flashed behind my eyes as I squeezed them shut tightly. 

Scott running, glowing red eyes, a guttural scream of agony.

I let my eyes pop open with a gasp. Before I knew what was happening, I was sprinting in the direction he’d gone. I could hardly control my body as it took me to where my vision was about to happen. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Scott rolling down a hill. I grimaced as his body practically bounced with each hit to the ground and ran to the top so I could see better.

Once he stopped moving, I took a step to check on him, but stopped almost instantly. A pair of glowing red eyes illuminated in the depths of the forest, just a few feet away. My jaw went slack in shock and fear. Whatever the hell it was, it wasn’t good. It was almost like the air had shifted into something darker with its presence. I watched in stunned horror as a huge black mass ran by Scott. It was only visible long enough for me to see the thing dig it’s teeth into his side. He screamed in pain, just like I’d heard before, and I covered my ears.

It was all too real.

The monster ran off and Scott looked around, startled. He groaned and clutched his side tightly as he slowly managed to get to his feet. A moment later, he was gone. I wasted no time in following him, hoping he’d lead me to the edge of the forest. I stayed far back, not wanting him to know I was there. 

Within minutes I was standing in the middle of an empty road, Scott nowhere to be found. I was surprised I hadn’t gone into cardiac arrest already with how fast my heart was racing. I was exhausted and on edge after what I’d just seen. Whatever it was. 

I ran a shaky hand through my hair and started what I knew would be a long journey home. 

Episode 1, Part Two

[lizacstuff]

Anon asks: SCK Fragman 38 speculation

(Asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think they're getting married this next episode? idk if the tattoos were confirmation

I think it’s possible? But I also think it’s entirely possible that they get the tattoos as a symbol of their love and a promise of sorts that they are through messing around, but they’re not actually married yet.  Frankly, they already gave us all the wedding hoopla with these two, I’m absolutely fine with an elopement or quick courthouse style wedding, or just a couple of witnesses in a garden. Whatever they want! Let’s just get her done.

Also... I know I said it before, but I’m just in love with the idea of these tattoos. Such a great solution to their ring issue. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on all these twitter theories from the “sick” line in the fragman?

- it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

That fragman could be hinting at so many things, and it very well could have been misleading. So lets take each theory in turn. 

“it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down”

Very possible. Engin thinking something had happened to Piril two eps ago did feel like foreshadowing, almost preparing the audience for something. It would be so heartbreaking if she loses the baby, and seems too dark for this show, but it is something that happens to millions of women, so we’ll see.

Also can you imagine after the way Piril stuck by Selin, if Piril lost her baby, and she then witnesses Selin using her baby as a pawn to get revenge on Serkan and Eda?  I’d like to see Piril and Engin’s reaction to that. Though again I think that’s pretty dark, especially for the side couple. 

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

I think this is a very good guess. Serkan probably will see a doctor after he passed out, and if it is another panic attack brought on by the stress of losing Eda, I could see a doctor telling him if he wants to move past the panic attacks, he needs to get at the root of his abandonment issues, which all lead back to his brother’s death. That could be why he’s getting out a box of his things and reading that letter.  So I could very well see a flashback happening to Alp’s diagnosis.

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

I’m honestly fully onboard with Kemal as Serkan’s bio dad.  I hear a lot of people poopooing the idea because of opportunity, but I think they told us when it could have happened. In their first meeting, (unless my subs were bad) Aydan mentioned that Kemal had returned once to apologize for standing her up when they were young and going to run away together. I assume that was the window. Kemal showed up years later (after Alp was born) to apologize.. they had a fling and there’s the opportunity for Serkan to be his son. 

Though, to me, if they’re doing something with Serkan’s health it’s got to be related to the plane crash. The chest clutching since he’s been back is concerning, plus wasn’t his hand shaking at one point? So I don’t see him having some serious underlying issue that’s unrelated. This guy does not shy away from going to the doctor and was just in the hospital for probably over a month recovering, so you’d think if there was anything wrong before, we’d know it.  Unless the plane crash acerbated something that’s genetic? And/or requires a match like bone marrow or kidney. I suppose they could give Serkan some rare blood type and that would be something applicable to most any ailment. We shall see. 

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

This one I think is the least likely. It’s been very fuzzy how much time has passed, but at the minimum 3 months since they were supposed to get married and were having sex, so if Eda were pregnant I think she would have noticed the signs by now.  

Anonymous said: Liza, I know they won’t kill Serkan, but could you reassure me that they won’t? I’ve followed you since Once and you were always good at reassuring.

Ha! I remember making lists of all the reasons they would never kill Hook. 

THEY WON’T KILL SERKAN.

And I’m even more certain of this than I ever was of them not killing Hook, and I was damn certain then. 

There is literally not ONE reason for this show to exist without Eda and Serkan. Not one. This is their love story, and really, storyline wise, the show should have ended awhile ago, and the only reason they keep it going is to keep Hande and Kerem on screen together, making their magic. Seriously, that’s the only reason.

You see how Serkan dying would be counter to that, right?  And if the show were about to end, trust me, there is nothing in it for anyone to have a tragic ending. This started as a romantic comedy, and will end as one, with a happily ever after. And if you’re still nervous, trust this, the production company is still hopeful to sell it into even more foreign markets, especially English language ones, a surprise tragic, twist ending that gets vilified on social media (and trust me this fandom is huge, vocal and capable) would really hurt those chances. 

So even if we’re headed into a bad diagnosis for Serkan, he will be fine in the end, it will just be something for him and Eda to fight through. I promise. 

Anonymous said: thoughts on that wonderfully beautiful fragman? i was watching with hearts in my eyes and then read the translations.. poor serkan!! if it really isn't misleading i definitely think it's some consequence of the plane crash. but, we are secure in what kind of show this is and the full knowledge that it's not a drama and no one is gonna actually die, i'm excited for the potential this storyline is gonna give us!! (esp with the return of the old writers)

I can’t wait to see that rain scene, and the after-the-rain scene and their motorcycle ride. The fragman was very beautiful, but it also felt very poignant and a little melancholy.

It’s interesting with the announcement that the second writing team was back, there were tidbits from several legit entertainment-type reporters yesterday that the show was going back to it’s roots being funny and entertaining.  So a terrible diagnosis for one of the current characters, especially the romantic leading man, doesn’t really fit with that. 

It the writers hadn’t changed I’d be more concerned, not about a character dying, just about the show leaning into some big sort of health-related melodrama.  But I think whatever might be happening will be in service to the plot.  As far as Serkan having a health-scare related to the crash, as I said above it’s very plausible. I mean what are the chances that a man survives a plane crash, is fished out of the sea, spends weeks in a hospital, gets amnesia and is perfectly fine 3-4 months later with no other repercussion? Doesn’t seem possible! 

Anonymous said: Liza, the second set of writers is really coming back! We might actually get comeuppance for Selin!

YESS!!!!! Please. I had completely lost hope with the last set of writers who seemed hellbent on normalizing her behavior.  Look I’d be fine with a 3 minute conversation where Serkan tells her that he knows she’s a manipulative liar and the baby is not his, that he wants her out of their lives for good, and that if she ever comes near Eda ever again he will personally destroy her. 

Is that so much to ask?

Though I’d like her to be humiliated in front of the rest of the team. Just so everyone knows what kind of psycho she is and no one in Edser’s orbit is tempted to give her another chance ever again. 

It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  With the news that Sarp Can (Deniz) is COVID positive, he obviously won’t be back on set anytime soon. They could probably get some VO from him if necessary, for a phone convo, but I’m gonna guess he’s done on screen. 

It’s time to write both characters out! 

As for the 22-23, 25-30 writers coming back, that is the best news I’ve had in ages.  They weren’t perfect, but the things they did well, they did really, really well. Their comedy, romantic scenes, heartfelt dialogue, accurate characterizations and penchant for sizzling scenes that “break the Turkish family structure” will all be most welcome. I’m really excited for the first time in ages. 

Anonymous said: Very interesting that the fragman did not address the Selin baby drama at all. It focused solely on Edser which was a welcome change while at the same time has me a bit nervous for the angst & drama no doubt headed our way. But if Eda & Serkan are together for good now to face the challenges coming then I cannot wait to watch. The last episode was so well done but Eda & Serkan were both near their breaking points for different reasons & you just felt awful for both of them. Really glad that the engagement did not happen and the show focused on the fallout from Serkan’s amnesia. And even had the side characters addressing how difficult things have been for Eda and that she might need some time before picking things back up with Serkan! Looking forward to the resolution of the baby story/exit of Selin and seeing Eda & Serkan heal together.

I hope that the fact that nothing Selin-related was addressed in the fragman means that we finally have people in charge who understand that we are so damned fatigued of Selin that featuring her an active deterrent for viewers.  Also I haven’t seen any evidence that Bige has been on set for 38. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t, it’s still possible, but it is encouraging that the ep will be  light on Selin. 

As far as the drama and angst, I think there’s more headed our way, however I’m hopeful it will be the good kind and not the kind that made us really uncomfortable and want to tear our hair out during the Selin/Deniz era. We know that Eda and Serkan must decide to stay together (spending time together, ring finger tattoos) so the point of the pregnancy storyline is done. When Eda found out Selin was pregnant, it gave Selin the chance for one last Hail Mary pass, and she took it, trying to break them up, but it failed. So it’s usefulness is over. She can’t keep the charade going because of Deniz, and because once Serkan has time to calm down and think, he’ll realize that any time in Slovania where he was so injured that it’s possible he doesn’t remember, he also would have been too physically incapacitated to do anything of the sort. 

As for Eda needing some time, yes, things in 36 were just too easy for Serkan in terms of the fallout from his amnesic behavior. Episode 37 made him work for it and I think come to terms with the fact that, Selin manipulations or no, there’s work to do and things he needs to atone for.  Putting her first throughout the episode, and showering her with love, was a good start. 

Anonymous said: The conversations Selin had with Eda, Serkan and Aydan in this episode had my blood boiling. Someone stop this psycho! The unnecessary hole digging was real, my god. I don't care if she's pregnant, don't hold Eda back this time and let her fight this snake. Let everyone fight her! If she's lying to Deniz now, he can fight her too.

I know, she reached new levels of abusive manipulation.  They better be planning a comeuppance, if she’s just allowed to leave with people waving goodbye, I will scream.  The Aydan conversation with her posing the question about abortion was something else. It came across to me more as a threat. Like... I’m thinking about doing this, if you don’t want my decision to be your fault, you better stay on the right side of me. 

The Eda and Serkan stuff goes without saying. It still floors me that she’s willing to pretend like she raped him (if he can’t remember because he was that injured and foggy, then it’s impossible for him to have given consent.) rather than just giving up and living the truth.  

Anonymous said: Like I get it (kind of) but I am so sick of watching Serkan be nice to Selin. Very much looking forward to Serkan chewing her out for how much she hurt Eda with this fake Serkan baby daddy story when she is exposed. I get that Serkan feels he is to blame for calling her to Slovenia in the first place & essentially in his mind giving her hope of them being together but he needs to stop excusing her horrible behavior from there. No decent person would take advantage of that situation the way she did. It seems like the only way that Selin will have an epic fall is if Deniz decides to fight for the kid he knows must be his and tell Eda everything. Going to be tough for her to believe initially but it will have to start making sense once she thinks back on things and then if the photos surface then she will know it must be true.

Agreed. I get Serkan’s guilt, and it actually shows what a good person he is, but he needs to get over it.  Because seriously, all Selin was obligated to do when she got his call was to hang up, and then dial one of the following: his mother, his father, his fiancé or best friend/business partner Engin. That’s it. Call them and say, hey, Serkan’s alive, this is where you’ll find him. But NOPE! Instead she decided to fly there, manipulate him, keep him hidden and try to use it to get back with him. She made him beholden to her, just another in the long line of brainwashing and manipulation. Her flying to his bedside was the wrong thing to do, and it would be great if someone beside Eda recognized that. 

Anonymous said: Even though Selin is the worst and I just cannot wait for her to finally be unmasked as the manipulator she is, I am really looking forward to Edser in the next episode. Eda taking care of Serkan after he passes out, the two of them reaffirming their commitment to each other with the tattoos & possible elopement, Eda reassuring Serkan that she will be at his side even if the kid turns out to be his and also the two of them working together to get to the truth. So darn excited! And if the spoilers are right that Deniz tells Eda the truth and Serkan sees the photos from Ferit then I will be so happy. It is time for Selin to go for good!

SELIN MUST GO. Yes, I think as soon as the news that Selin is pregnant and trying to pass it off as Serkan’s brain-fog baby, Ferit will unleash the photos. (if it’s him that has them).  

I just want Selin and Deniz gone so we can focus on other things. Their presence on this show is a energy drain, and I want to focus on rain frolicking, motorcycles and bed sharing!!!!!  

Anonymous said: I'm so glad that we had a scene of Serkan telling Eda that even without his memories he fell in love with her again, he just couldn't admit it. Serkan has an interesting perspective on the memory loss part of their lives where I think he almost feels too guilty about it all and just wants to move past it. I've noticed that in his dialogues in 36 & 37 where he wants to leave it in the past and basically do his all to make it all up to her in the present and future.

I think this is very well observed. He definitely was trying to leave the past in the past, but honestly I think that’s just laziness on the part of the old writers, not wanting to have to have a reckoning for all the things they had him say or do. Since the writers decided to go that way, I could buy it’s because Serkan feels too guilty about it all. We know how much he loathes making mistakes or being wrong or owing apologies. If that’s what they wanted to do, it would have gone a long way if they’d shown a bit more of him blaming himself, especially in 36. 

I was also very happy that Serkan came out and said that he’s fallen in love with her again. My only thing is I wish if they were going to do that, they would have thrown a little more detail in the dialogue. Like Serkan admitting to her that he started thinking about her all the time as soon as he returned and met her, maybe admit that he slept on his office couch clutching her wedding invitation.  A couple of things like that would have been very nice for Eda to hear. 

Anonymous said: SCK sure loves creating difficult situations for Eda & Serkan. I really felt for Serkan in the last episode especially since he was back to being the romantic robot we all love. He so baldly wants to make up for lost time with Eda that he rushes ahead with the proposal and then gets crushed when she rejects him. And then spends most of the episode frantically trying to figure out what is going on with her and trying to show her how much he loves her. I was really happy though that the show addressed a few different times how awful the last few months have been for Eda and it also made Serkan address it. His plan to just forget about everything and move forward did not happen. Loved that the side characters stepped up to remind him of everything he & Selin put Eda through. Not so crazy that the show decided to use Selin’s pregnancy as the plot device to get Serkan to finally realize “oh yeah, what happened since my accident is a very big deal & now I have to face it & come to terms with it” but still glad it happened. Selin is obviously so much more in the wrong than Serkan but let’s hope her downfall takes place in the next episode.

All of this.  I think you’re exactly right, Serkan tried to brush past everything and I’m glad that finally the other characters stepped up a little to help make him see that he had more work to do. Special shout out to Seyfi for his sassy comment about Serkan almost marrying another woman. And finally Piril was useful and acted like a friend, the first time she had since he returned.  

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Time for the next installment of my Bai Yu Sitting Project.

Unlike Part One, this'll focus on just one drama because the damned thing is 38 episodes long and I'm pretty sure the man spends a large majority of his time sitting, leaning, and/or lounging.

It’s called Grow Up, a medical drama that I cannot find English subtitles for, and it's been around long enough that I doubt I ever will. But, hey, things like this are the whole point of trying to learn the language, right?

So, those willing to join me in the continuation of whatever this is turning out to be, get yourself comfortable and head on under the cut, this is gunna be long.

For little weirdos like me doing nonsense projects like this,Grow Up is a veritable treasure trove. I mean the man does this in the very first episode.

He makes them put the box down and immediately sits on it and pulls a leg up. And he’s making a point, I get it, I mean I don’t understand it, since, y’know, it’s all Chinese and I can only pick out a few characters, but why did the leg have to go up? He could’ve sprawled, done a bit of manspreading that I know he is fully capable of after watching this. But no. Leg up. Only one foot may touch the floor.

So, yeah, it’s a treasure trove of sittings and leanings and loungings. Even though his character, Xie Nanxiang, is technically only a ‘support role’, I’ve still managed to gather about 70 screenshots, and that doesn’t actually catalogue every time he sits, leans, and lounges.

I was going to try and whittle the screenshots down, but I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. I think I managed to cut about three? So when I say this is going to be long, I mean it’s going to be long and pretty image heavy.

I have however made attempts at organisation. So instead of just a random array of images, I’m going to group them under sets...that’s filming sets, not position sets.

We’ll start off with the nurse’s station/desk. You know those tall desks you get on wards? Yeah, if they were on that set then it was pretty much guaranteed Bai Yu would be leaning on it. And if he wasn’t leaning on it initally, then he would be by the end.

I didn’t take a screenshot every time he leaned, I managed to rein my madness in enough to not do that at least, but I’ve catalogued the different kinds of lean.

The first is the common arms crossed lean, which, I will grant you, makes sense to use, considering I don’t know anyone who hasn’t leant on this kind of desk like this.

The second is the single arm lean. He didn’t need to lean here. Would’ve been fine to stand. But this is Bai Yu we’re talking about. So lean he did.

Third is the casual backwards lean. He probably shouldn’t be leaning here. I’m fairly certain that’s one of the chaps they refer to as Laoshi talking to them. Everyone else is standing respectfully. Bai Yu? Nah mate, Imma lean.

And lastly - if a surface is at butt leaning height, Bai Yu will take advantage.

Something I’ve noticed while watching this (and bear in mind I skipped most of the non-Bai Yu parts), more often than not, Bai Yu is the only one to be leaning/sitting/whatever posture he’s taking. It’s kinda fascinating.

The next set is the hospital in general, so corridors and rooms that aren’t the staffroom because that’s a whole set in and of itself.

This one made me giggle, because the moment the woman he’s trying to impress left, he practically flung himself back on this bed and got comfy.

Like, did he need to do that? Probably not.

Was that going to stop him? Of course not.

Just as a side note, is patient privacy a thing? Like, yeah, they’ve the big curtains to draw around the bed. But that’s a big window, with no curtains, no frosted glass, and a path beside it. Are you inviting the general public to a show? The lack of cover is just begging nosy passersby to look in.

Of course leaning is a common occurrence in the hospital. But if you put a bar at Bai Yu butt height you really can’t expect anything different.

Also it always throws me when he turns sideways in the doctor’s coat. From the front, it gives him a width he doesn’t have, then he turns and suddenly goes flat, and you have to blink because for a moment you’d forgotten just how damn skinny the man is.

I dubbed this the ‘no help. just lean’ shot. Those are his parents, yet why would he help packing when there is a convienient windowsill at butt leaning height?

The vending machine is also a favoured leaning post, both in sickness and in health.

For the final lean of this set, can you spot him? This is an example of Bai Yu leaning while everyone is standing. It’s a legs crossed side lean.

And look at this. He gets up shortly after this, but of everyone in the room, he’s lounging on the sofa. He could’ve been standing like the rest of them. But that wouldn’t have the same effect now would it? I’m beginning to wonder if Bai Yu’s penchant for leaning, sitting, and lounging is not just him being...well him, but also an indicator of Bai Yu being a very clever man and a rather good actor.

Now then look at that face. Regardless of how ridiculous this Project is, I shall always be grateful to it for giving me the expressions Bai Yu has in this scene. His pouty, disgruntled, get-me-off-this-ride face makes me want to squish his cheeks.

I also find it endlessly amusing that although he is topless in this scene, great efforts seem to be made to keep him more or less covered as this is not one of Those dramas that have a Designated Bath/River/Body of Water Topless Scene.

Also injury and illness counts because he gets to spend his time lying about on a surgery table.

And finally for the general hospital set we have...this.

Everyone else is sitting on chairs and stools.

Bai Yu?

Weird animal toy thing.

He could’ve sat on a chair, a stool, even the floor. But no. He chose to sit on this. How is that even remotely comfortable?

(Still with me? We’re almost halfway...kinda. Maybe I should split this drama into two posts. We’ll see how long the next set is first)

From inside the hospital we move to the outside, because that’s natural progression right?

Outside the building we can encounter things such as the common sprawling lounge. He seems to enjoy hooking his elbows over things.

Then he will head to some planetarium type thing where they have the screen on the ceiling. And, just, I know he’s having some kind of emotional issues, with angsting over failed relationships and whatnot (ok to be fair I’m only assuming that’s the case given everything that’s going on, even though I don’t understand what’s being said). But! Bai Yu, sweetie, precious, dearest darling man, get your goddamn shoes off the headrest of the seat in front of you!

I want to bundle him up in a cuddle and thwack him with a rolled up newspaper at the same time.

Bai Yu and cars.

I’m becoming vaguely convince the man has a magnet or something in his arse.

And just look at this.

Bai Yu, sir. What’s that saying?

Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.

Y’know, I don’t know why, but I was actually surprised he could do sit-ups.

He was doing them before he was interrupted by the girl, then he ended up doing more with the bloke. Of course he didn’t get his arse off the ground when the bloke, one of the teachers/mentors, turned up. Unlike the girl who popped up to her feet.

There is something oddly appealing about the image he makes laid out on the grass though.

I mean, she looks like she’d probably welcome the sweet release of death, and if they’ve just done exercise then same, girl, same.

But he just makes you want to curl up next to him and have a nap or something.

This bar scene...*sigh*

He could sit in a chair.

But no. He chooses to lean on the pillar.

And when he does decide to sit. Does he pick a chair?

No.

No he does not.

The angsty roof, where people seem to go to have a bit of a cry or emotional stare off into the distance.

For a bit of context, this is how people tend to be on that roof.

They stand, they might lean. They have their angsty moment.

But Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is not built for this boring sort of crying angst.

No no no.

He must do more.

So he sits on the bloody wall, crossing his legs over the thin metal bar that is probably cutting off his circulation, while he has his emotional moment.

How did he even get up there? That is not a short wall. You can’t boost yourself up like it’s a kitchen counter. The pair standing next to each other in the context images? The taller one is Bai Yu, just look where the top of this wall comes to. There is no boosting onto this.

So did he hop up onto the table, then the wall, and walk around the edge until he got to this spot for his angsty moment?

*sigh* this man.

Last ones for outside the hospital.

They are, oddly enough, of instances where Bai Yu isn’t sitting.

I know, weird right?

But look, he could be sitting. The sofa is right next to him, and he falls asleep there not long after this. And it would make sense to sit on the sofa, or at least the arm of the sofa because that photo he’s looking at was on the table top, not on the shelf below it.

This is an instance where he probably should be sitting.

But no. Bai Yu goes against that and instead he just crouches. Because that makes sense right?

Then here!

Everyone else is sitting.

He has the perfect place to sit right behind him.

But he remains standing for the entirety of this scene. There is not even a hint that he might sit down in such a fashion as I’ve come to expect from this man.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s the point.

A point I’ll look at more in Part Three, because the length of this would be truly ridiculous if I kept going.

So! Next time on the Bai Yu Sitting Project! Dorm Rooms and Staffrooms! Awkward angles and did-your-roommate-seriously-just-tuck-you-in? moments!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol.  You’re welcome.  

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel.  I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay.  Here we go.  

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?  

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie.  She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her.  She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season.  That said?  Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes.  I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story?  These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard.  Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela?  Hmm?  

Oh goodie.  They’re opening at Meridian.  Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later?  Call it Shae’s choice, lol.  

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship.  In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl.  Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.  

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em.  Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.  

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders. 

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people.  If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.  

Ooohhhh.  Who took the first stab at Wells?  Maggie?  Negan?  Father G?  I swear.  I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field.  Sorry.  If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.  

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time.  Interesting.  Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt.  With brick.  Wood.  Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature.  Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.  

Okay then.  Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol.  Tell me.  Please.  Anybody.  How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian?  Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian.  But hey.  Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.  

All the babies huddled together giving me feels.  Sorry.  I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time.  It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.  

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.  

Aww.  Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair?  Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair.  Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene.  What can I say?  I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.  

Oh snap.  The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.  

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5?  Good times.  We still had most of Team Family with us then.  They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together.  I miss them.  

Carol and Lydia holding each other.  These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.  

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw.  Stop wasting your breath.  

“She did.  My enemy.”  I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope?  Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under.  Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still.  I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.  

Alright.  So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl?  Man?  You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates.  Trust me on this.  

So.  Three teams, huh?  Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future.  Choose your fighters, lol.  Seriously, though.  Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?  

Listen.  Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus?  Absolutely.  You bet your sweet asses.  But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.  

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol.  What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.  

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond.  No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us.  I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.  

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie.  Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.  

Virgil volunteering to help.  Okay.  Damn.  I’m honestly starting to like the guy.  

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels.  I mean, granted.  It was a blink and you miss it scene.  We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up.  Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl.  My heart.  

Gracie and Aaron are sweet.  And honestly?  I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond.  I mean no disrespect, but I really do.  

“Why am I keeping you around?”  Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.  

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog.  Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat.  I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.  

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living.  Oh, that’s impressive.”  The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol.  Like if this had been Carol, yeah.  But Maggie?  Nope.  They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.  

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls?  Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.  

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith.  It’s sweet.  

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it.  But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.  

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also?  It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself.  Like she’s still a kid.  Wants don’t always line up with feelings.  Anyway.  Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return.  Not just Michonne.  I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.  

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well.  Plot point, lol.  

Seriously, though.  I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season.  I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will.  All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.  

Where are Negan and Elijah though?  Ouch.  There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.  

Ready the what now?  

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire!  Barbara, is it?  That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.  

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita.  More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.  

“Let’s stay away from the windows.”  I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that.  Still a badass moment though.  

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel.  At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.  

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.”  Listen, Leah.  Chick.  You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other.  It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.  

WTF are they calling that thing?  Sorry.  I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.  

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him.  That’s care for somebody he used to know.  There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many.  How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust?  Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much?  Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?  

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.  

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car?  I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal.  What else is new on this show, lol?  

I care for Maggie.  Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man.  She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for.  But are too far gone, so.  We’ll make allowances.  

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.  

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here.  She’s always been on her own side.  

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower.  Taking Deaver down!  Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.  

Here comes that woman scorned part.  I can feel it.  

“Pope is dead.  Dixon murdered him.  He’s with the enemy.”  

Please, Angela.  I’m begging you.  Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up.  You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.  

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.  

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit.  Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory.  You just know they’re tired AF.  

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger!  Oh and Gracie.  Angela?!  A word.  

Listen.  Carol’s already done that fireworks trick.  That Reaper dude owes her royalties.  Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.  

Angela has a point.  It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.  

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress.  Just saying.  

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally?  I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.  

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other.  There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.”  Straight from Angela’s mouth.  

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.”  Yeah, he did.  That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol.  Fight me.  

Overall impression of the episode?  

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore.  There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ.  I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna.  Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon.  If we can return to Team Family?  The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world?  You’ve got me.  If not?  Well.  You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.  

Anyway.  The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual.  The episode could have used a lot more of those.  

[hippychick006]

12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap

Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.

Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey  

My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.

Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.

There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).

Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.

Anyway moving swifly on…

First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)

Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.

I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.

Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.

After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door.  Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.

Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome

Love it.

They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”

A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least.  In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.

The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.

Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!

Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing.  They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.  

The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse.  Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters!  Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.

Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival.  Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.

We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.

Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong.  Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,

Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.

Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!

Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –

Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam.  Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh

While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia.  Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.

Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.

Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!

Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,

Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.

Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)

Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.

Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.

Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.

Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.

Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.

Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).

Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.

Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?!  Alicia? Surely not.

We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.

Turns out it’s Mary.  Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.

Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.

Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?

I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John).  Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.

Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!

She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”

Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.

Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...

Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.

Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.

Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.

Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.

Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?

Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff

Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,

Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.

I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!  

They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene.  They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.

Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!

Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.

Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.

Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this?  *Fans self

Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.

Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”

Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.

Wait, what?  But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.

Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.

Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door

Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.

Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.

Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on!  You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.

Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)

Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?

Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do?  Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”

Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.

Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.

Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,

Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.

Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)

They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.

Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.

Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.

Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs!  Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!

Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?).  Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.

Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]

THIS IS MY SHOW!  What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas?  Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].

Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.

Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!

Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].

In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight.  He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa” killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]

Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant.  Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room).  Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.

Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room. 

Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.

Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.  

Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.

While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”.  My boys working in sync!

Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.

Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.

Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing

Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.”  They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.

Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.

Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?

Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.

Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”

Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun

Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?

Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first. 

The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?).  The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.

As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier).  She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa.  Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.

Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.

Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).

Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.

Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”

[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]

Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?

They all turn and look at Bucky.

Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show].  It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)

Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.

Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever

I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.

I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.  

Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.

Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,

Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.

Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.

I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”

Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)

Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.

Dean: Well, she’s not alone.

Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]

Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.”  [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam].  Mary asks how it would work.   

Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]

Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands

Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.

I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala

Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW.  I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.

It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.

[a-mellowtea]

Sarah’s Soundtrack Corner | RWBY Volume 8

Today: Episode 1 // Divide 22/11/2020: Episode 2 // Refuge

Hello everyone!

This year, I’ve decided to do something new. Rather than waiting for the Volume to end or the soundtrack to drop to talk about RWBY’s music, I’m starting this little side project: cataloguing and somewhat analyzing the show’s score and songs as they’re released.

This is also a way for me to keep myself engaged in something other than academics (’cause quarantine be gettin’ to me), as well as pointing out some details folks might overlook: there’s always a lot to talk about with the music, and it plays a pivotal role in the series.

A mini-disclaimer beforehand: I am in no way well-versed in music theory. I can’t really tell you how things are composed so much as how they more generally sound, and what the intentions behind certain choices might have been.

So, without further ado, let’s begin!

The first cue of the Volume, coming in gently against the slow fade-in from black of a young Cinder scrubbing the floor, is on piano and sparse strings. I’m hesitant to label this as anything in particular with any degree of confidence, but the progression of notes makes me believe it could be an abstract variation on Cinder’s core “theme” - specifically, the haunting choir we tend to hear around her. It would make sense: bridging the visuals with something just familiar enough to catch the ear, but also distinct.

There’s a brief pause as Cinder and Neo approach the storm, with only a small bit of ambient, tense strings; then it’s into a development of the new melody we got accompanying Salem’s arrival in Volume 7 under the usual first-episode credits. This section has a wonderful female choral element added: I’m actually half-convinced that it’s a specific “theme” for Monstra (the whale Grimm; apparently that’s her official name), rather than Salem herself. The bass percussion makes the cue feel almost literally alive, giving it a slow, steady heartbeat.

The piece crescendos as Neo catches sight of Salem, then fades away into more tense strings when Cinder kneels. A small quote of what I believe is “One Thing” kicks in when Cinder takes Neo’s credit for stealing the Relic of Knowledge.

The next quote is equally small, coming and going in the span of about 5 seconds between the 03:25 and 03:30 timestamps, and references the strings from “Party Crashers”/the Volume 7 Mantle massacre. 

I can’t quite peg the following string melody - under Cinder’s declaration that she’ll return to Atlas and take the Maiden’s power from Penny - as anything specific, though it sounds similar to the opening piano.

What I’ll tentatively label as Monstra’s “theme” takes over again as Salem communicates with her, and the cue ends on a tense crescendo along with the scene.

On our heroes’ end, this is quite the episode for abstract little melodies, because I can’t seem to nail down what plays under Oscar’s respite in the slums either. What I do recognize, however, is a small section of Mantle’s melody at around 05:42, continuing until 05:52 where it’s briefly interrupted by a vague handful of notes from the Grimm “theme”.

Everything in Mantle is quite bleak, including the instrumentation: it’s soft and somber, even the gentler moments. Oscar’s melody kicks in at 07:06 on slow strings after Weiss asks how he ended up in the crater, which transitions into a despairing little quote of Penny’s established “theme” from Volume 7. This “theme” is of particular note this time around - Alex Abraham (composer) switched up the sound of her melody to a more subdued, lost quality, and it’s quite something whenever it pops up.

“Bad Luck Charm�� makes a brief appearance at 07:30, and it’s interesting to me just how darkly the quote drifts off - the final note sounds almost distorted, lending it not only an air of uncertainty, but also danger (totally not hinting at things to come - no way).

Mantle’s theme makes a reappearance at 09:03, following a lead-in on strings as Yang argues that they need to help the people. The “theme” for Amity follows at 9:18 when Pietro begins talking about the titular colisseum, then drifts into Ironwood’s once he’s brought up, and then into one of the “Atlas tension” motifs from Volume 7. The orchestration of this entire section is notably quiet; almost not there, and all with a sense of unease. As the idea for the plan begins to come together, the Atlas Military “theme” (introduced at the end of Volume 6) plays, but fades out largely unresolved with Pietro’s uncertainty about it.

Once the small argument begins in earnest and the group divides, what sounds like a gentle quote of the as-yet untitled opening plays, easing into simple strings once Jaune interjects.

A sneeze-and-you’ll-miss-it soft interruption of Penny’s melody plays again, almost lost in the strings, then a third time when she volunteers to go with Ruby’s group.

And now for the fun part.

I’m not horrendously biased, I swear.

The tense silence of this scene once Penny’s Scroll begins to ring is perfect; as are the dark, sparse, ambient strings and the fourth instance of Penny’s “theme” - played on piano, with an almost music-box-like quality. The juxtaposition is horribly fitting for the moment - James is playing on Penny’s role as a guardian, her desire to protect people, her uncertainty about a situation in which she has had very little control, and that’s all beautifully reinforced in the music.

Speaking of juxtaposition.

Upstairs, we get a gorgeous rendition of “Hero” on brass; played slow, full and in earnest, with a small bit of Winter’s melody thrown in the middle once the camera briefly shifts focus to her. The way this section is orchestrated piques my interest as well - it’s not dark, it’s not particularly somber. It’s gentle. It still has that, for lack of a better term, heroic quality to it.

And that becomes such a twisted thing by the end of the scene.

Before that, however, there’s an instance of the Grimm “theme” clearly at 14:56, and it continues to be a personal favorite. 

Another intriguing little reference hits at about 15:12, when the Council members show up - if you have an ear for it, you might pick up on it as coming from the scene in the office from Volume 7 Chapter 11 “Gravity”, complete with Ironwood’s “theme” at 15:33 (this cue might actually be directly taken from “Are You With Me?”) and to say it’s appropriate for a moment where James slips even further would be putting it mildly.

Closing out the episode proper is a freaky new melody for the Grimm hound that I can honestly say I cannot wait to hear more of.

Overall, the score for the premiere isn’t quite as bombastic as the last two years, but that’s fitting - it’s largely understated, with lots of tension and somber takes on the leitmotifs that crop up. This is actually one of the things about the episode that left me feeling like it was more of a firm and simple continuation from last year than the start of a brand new chapter, and that’s certainly not bad.

And now you stand alone, opening!

I don’t think it needs saying that every RWBY OP will split the fandom to some degree, and this one has a very different style. It doesn’t have a name yet - I personally labelled it as “The End” on YouTube, unfortunately confusing a few people - which is odd, but Jeff professed that he just couldn’t settle on one yet.

The standard guitar and heavy percussion are present, kicking off in the usual instrument-focused intro, and are mixed with layers of different instruments, synth and backing vocals throughout the song once Casey’s vocals start. Speaking of, our leading lady delivers with her usual grace, and her matured voice lends a lot to the tone of the song (the growl on “Some roses will never bloom” is amazing). Almost every line on the verse and pre-chorus has an echo behind it - either as an effect or as part of the backing - giving it a forlorn yet powerful quality.

In the lyrics department, it reminds me quite a bit of the second opening - “Time To Say Goodbye” - save with a darker undertone. I’d be hardpressed to believe that the line “We said goodbye / To all the things we loved” isn’t, in fact, a direct reference to “Now it’s time to say goodbye / To the things we loved and the innocence of youth”. In a Volume where a lot of people were clamboring for a “When It Falls 2.0″ - yours truly included - this was a surprise, but a welcome one.

Second opening is the best opening. That is a hill I will die on.

Come to think of it, this might become a trend. If I remember correctly, several lyrics in “Trust Love” harkened back to “This Will Be The Day”; what springs to mind immediately is the contrast of “When the day you waited for won’t come” with “This will be the day we waited for”, and “Always hoping that a lightning bolt / Is going to save you from this gravity” with “We are lightning / Straying from the thunder”.

If this is the case and Volume 8 goes as I believe it will - setting up for another Volume in Atlas where the huge fight happens as everyone struggles to hold the line until help arrives - then we could be due for some “When It Falls” references then.

I’ve heard some say that this opening sounds a little too crowded, that it doesn’t hit quite as hard as they expected/compared to “When It Falls”, that the darker tone relies on the lyrics rather than anything in the instrumentation, and those are valid critiques. Personally, this one’s an ear-worm - I love the sound of it; Jeff made a lot of interesting choices - but the melody itself isn’t as discernable as previous years and is going to take a while to grow on me.

I’m not going to rank these or anything because that feels a little arbitrary, but I really enjoyed what we got this first Chapter. Knowing the team, they find ways to step it up every year, so I’m seriously looking forward to what’s in store.

Until next week!

[medea10]

My Review of Sarazanmai

How did I get into this anime? I heard “things” about this anime. 2019 was a weird time to be alive apparently. You know, before 2020 happened! As much shit as I give 2020, at least they didn’t give us kappas eating people’s asses.

Yes, I just said “kappas eating people’s asses”.

Be afraid. Be very afraid!

Kazuki Yasaka is a young boy who must carry around a box wherever he goes and follow specific directions day-by-day. Toi Kuji is a delinquent that breaks into cars and commits other crimes throughout the city. And Enta Jinnai is a childhood friend of Kazuki…He’s there too! These three boys have been chosen by the kappa prince, Keppi to help restore the Kappa Kingdom to its former glory. Kazuki, Toi, and Enta can now transform into kappas by being eaten ass first by Keppi and then shit out. Yes, I said eaten ass first and shit out by a kappa! These boys then must eat the inner-most desires of these kappa-zombies that are causing Keppi trouble. And these inner-most desires are located…in the ass. But there are those from the Otter Empire that cause this trouble for the kappas by turning folks into kappa zombies and causing havoc in the real world.

I would not expect any less of a mind-rape anime from the great Kunihiko Ikuhara.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Even playing a kappa, Junichi Suwabe still finds a way to give me an erection.

Okay, let’s try that again and not make it sound disgusting, Medea.

Right! Let’s talk licensing. FUNimation is the licensors of this fine product. Seriously? Eating ass is fine, but you frown upon the likes of Interspecies Reviewers? Yes, there is a dub to this and believe it or not, I pretended it didn’t exist. Not because it was bad or anything! It’s just that this anime had the likes of Mamoru Miyano, Kouki Uchiyama, Rie Kugimiya, and Mr. Sex-in-a-Voice Junichi Suwabe. Let me state that my infatuation with Suwabe is like John Oliver’s infatuation with Adam Driver.

That…totally doesn’t help my case! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kazuki is played by Ayumu Murase (known for Minami on Yuri on Ice, Luck on Black Clover, Asuto on Inazuma Eleven: Aries, Madoka on Shounen Maid, and Shinichi on SAO)

*Toi is played by Kouki Uchiyama (known for Yurio on Yuri on Ice, Soul on Soul Eater, Rui on Demon Slayer, Ikuya on Free!, Benedict on Violet Evergarden, Midnight on Fairy Tail, Yuu on Charlotte, and Ichijou on Nisekoi)

*Enta is played by Shun Horie (known for Kazuya on Rent-A-Girlfriend)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kazuki is played by Alejandro Saab (known for Leon on Pokemon Journeys, L’Arc on Shield Hero, Kuga on Food Wars, Yamazaki on Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card, and Takezou on Kono Oto Tomare)

*Toi is played by Ricco Fajardo (known for Koutaro on Zombieland Saga, Itona on Assassination Classroom, Karim on Fire Force, Natsuya on Free!, and Kyousuke on Danganronpa 3)

*Enta is played by Justin Briner (known for Deku on My Hero Academia, Yukito on Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card, Shou on Fire Force, Luck on Black Clover, and Ryouta on Danganronpa 3)

SHIPPING: Well…we got our BL kiss by the third episode. That’s quite early for an Ikuhara anime. Ooh boy, Enta loves him some Kazuki. He REALLY loves Kazuki! There’s a lot to be said of a boy that would sniff and fondle items owned by his lover and kiss his unconscious lover. I can understand why Enta would care for Kazuki. I mean after hearing that he’s truly his first friend after a childhood of traveling around and not making many friends, you want to feel for this kid. Key word here is “want”. But this boy goes too far sometimes and his jealousy does get the best of him to a point where I’m just saying, cut ties with the megane brat. But Enta ends up screwing things up again by taking a bullet for Kazuki and throwing all that anger out the window.

And then we have Reo and Mabu! God damn Reo! We’ve got shark teeth, an arrogant attitude, homosexuality, and the voice of Mamoru Miyano. This is just a Rin Matsuoka of a different color! If Reo and Mabu’s otter dance isn’t a dead giveaway, they totally love each other. To a point where they would sacrifice each other for the one they love.

POLE-DANCE ALERT: I don’t know why I always find random pole-dancing moments in animes so alluring. I guess I can blame the likes of Grell from Black Butler. But this moment was so random that it came right the fuck out of nowhere. Then again, this entire anime is an enigmatic brain-fart that it was only a matter of time before a kappa prince starts randomly dancing on a pole.

There we go, Medea’s love for random crap will never die!

ENDING: Throughout the series, Kazuki, Toi, and Enta were gathering these dishes in order to get a wish granted by Keppi. And each time they’ve gone up against a big bad otter, Reo and Mabu are usually the ones to bring out the kappa zombies. But everyone has a plan for using the dishes of hope for their own wishes. Enta wants to use it to stay with Kazuki so the two can remain the golden duo. Reo and Mabu want the dishes to be with each other and save one another after an incident nearly killed them. And Kazuki originally wanted to use the dishes for his baby brother’s own sake, but changes to wanting to help Toi (who ends up leaving with his older, criminal of a brother). And shit goes crazier than what I’ve just mentioned. Enta fucks up by stealing the collected dishes and really fucking up his relationship with Kazuki! Toi ends up leaving town with his criminal brother.

Reo and Mabu, the otter cops shoot Kazuki, but Enta takes the bullet and is hours away from dying. But then we learn that Reo and Mabu were actually kappas who worked under Keppi. It’s just that the otters have been manipulating these two. Mabu is just a hollow body created by the otters because of some accident that happened prior to the events in the anime. The otter gives Mabu a mechanical heart to keep him alive, but in order to stay alive, he cannot say he loves Reo. Unfortunately for these two, Mabu ends up saying he loves Reo and dies right in front of him and vanishing from his memories. Reo is then shot by Toi who comes in at the last minute.

Toi’s back. We all knew it wasn’t going to last. His older brother got shot dead the episode before. So Toi is going to use the dishes to resurrect his brother from the dead. This leaves Kazuki in shambles as he was going to use it on Enta before his body expires in like 10 seconds. In the last minute, Kazuki used the dishes on Enta and he’s going to live. End of story right? No, we still have a demented otter on the loose. And the otters have a dark Keppi that he’s been storing for just this sort of moment. And now it grabs Toi and Toi accepts. He wants to erase his existence from Enta and Kazuki’s lives. Problem is if he does that, Toi erases giving Kazuki the ankle bracelet that’s been a staple in Kazuki and Enta’s relationship when it comes to soccer. But the boys were able to connect, destroy the otters, bring the memories of Mabu and Reo back, turn Keppi into a kappa prince, and save the town from OTTER-destruction.

Yeah, if you watch this series, you’ll hear a lot of puns involving otters. I mean when you’re not smothered in sexualized otters and kappas.

The ending credits show Toi getting sent to juvie for three years. And it’s quite sad to see his dejected face while the ending song blasts. When the lyrics literally say “stand by me” it gets quite sad. Three years pass and Toi’s out of juvie. He goes to the bridge and jumps off. Keep in mind this is an Ikuhara anime, Toi’s not gonna die. Enta and Kazuki jump in and join Toi and welcome him back to society.

Good lord Ikuhara-san! I didn’t think you could out-gay an anime after the likes of Yuri Kuma Arashi. But good fuck, you found a way! This anime was…INSANITY. Pure insanity! Then again, this is the same director that did Revolutionary Girl Utena, Yuri Kuma Arashi, and Mawaru Penguindrum. Yes, connection and desires are a big take in not only Sarazanmai, but a lot of the other animes Ikuhara does. It’s just that Sarazanmai is the strangest acid-trip of them all. And that’s saying a lot because Yuri Kuma Arashi has sexy bears that say “Shaba-da-doo”. ALSO VOICED BY JUNICHI SUWABE! But people getting turned into kappas by being eaten ass first by another kappa and stealing spirits inner most desires, conveniently stored in their asses is some wonky-ass crack-fest. Recommendation wise, I would say watch some of the other animes Ikuhara has directed to get your feet wet in what you might expect in this kind of anime. After that, pop in a few Bakemonogatari episodes just for good measure. And after you do all that, take some CBD gummies and let-a-rip with Sarazanmai.

If you want to watch Sarazanmai, Crunchyroll and FUNimation have it available for streaming.

Okay, what’s next for my FUNimation list?

Okay, boobs! What are we talking here? Are these boobs flat as an ironing board or crimes against nature like in Eiken?

Oh, this can’t end well.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: Escape from the Impossibin! or A Dark Night of the Soul

It’s a long dark night of the soul for everyone’s favorite family of ducks as our beloved family grapples with the revelations of last episodes. While Scrooge clearly smarts from the betrayal he pits his latest security system against Della and Louie, given the title it naturally goes wrong and forces all three to try to escape. Meanwhile Beakly sics Webby on Huey and Dewey, and Dewey gets a cool new sword he can’t use while Huey has a slow burn mental breakdown.. again. Someone get my poor boy some therapy.  Suprises, Also an exaustingly deep dive into the life of Bentina Beakly. Disguises but sadly not pies of all sizes insue under the cut.

Well.. this one was fantastic. Obviously i’ll explain why as we go but holy shit I was not expecting a master class of an episode just one week after the already great Let’s Get Dangerous. And yes I had my complaints there but none of them, especially on the second watch, really detracted from what was honesty an amazing episode. And after slogging through “Catch as Cash Can” over the past few days, this was a welcome return to the version of the duck family I love best and a crisp reminder of why this series is so frigging amazing. I may criticize, i’m a critic comes with the territory, but I genuinely and wholly love this show, and this episode is encapsulates why. So enough lollygagging, let’s dew it to it!

We open with one of those scenes where two characters give a similar speech and it flashes back between both as they finish each other’s sentences. It’s a storytelling choice I never realized I always loved as it’s always a good way to amp up tension or comedy. It’s a good way to start. At the Mansion, Beakly is lecturing Donald, Huey and Dewey, because both families likely talked Launchpad into just sharing different days with each of them after the first inevitable sleep driving car crash so he’s with his boyfriend and child right now. It’s also really nice to both have almost the entire main cast given something to do for an episode AND have the one missing member have a thoroughly valid reason for not being there that was set up last week.  It’s also really nice to see Donald and Della again. While it’s only been two weeks, both have only featured in one episode this block so far, and Della’s been kind of pushed to the side this season.. not unfairly mind as she was the focus for two solo episodes and a ton of episodes last season for obvious reasons but it dosen’t mean I can’t miss my disaster twins when they aren’t around.  So anyways back on the episode, Beakly is naturally assuming theirs more traitors in their midst, and she and webby have narrowed it down.. this dosen’t really come up aside for a gag in a second for the rest of the episode, but is both funny and two of them are clearly setup for later. Have a look

My thoughts in order: 

Little Bulb: He probably IS plotting to betray them, but for entirely unrelated reasons.  Donald: .........................................................................................................

Look I get it on some level, as he was away from the family a long time, hated Scrooge, and had every reason to betray him. BUT, and it’s a bit but, besides the obvious of Bradford and his goons being the reason they gave up looking for his sister, if for good reason, Donald would’ve TOLD them all about that by now if he’d been spying, or if he’d had any dealings with the man. The man loves his family, uncle included, more than anyone and even at their lowest point I doubt he’d sell the man out for the boys sake unless FOWL threatened them. Donald is principaled, hardworking, loving, and has both dove directly into a nest of shadows and sent himself hurtling to earth in a possibly lethal rocket to protect this family, so even if this is a funny gag, it does bother me Beakly and ESPECIALLY Webby, his surrogate niece, would even consider this. That being said while I felt the need to rant because he’s my boy and I feel protective of him, it was damn funy as Donald naturally tries to wipe it off because.. yeah everything above, only to get caught in the flipping board and ending up as above with Beakly forced to admit it’s probably not him. Plus yeah.. he’s also way too clumsy and anger prone for wetwork so there’s also that. 

Fenton: I’m TEMPTED to use the trunks picture twice in a row but besides that being obnoxious.. I get it MORE here. Donald has no motive anymore, would’ve told them by now if he had when he did, and has broken his back for all of them at one time or another. Probably literally in some cases. Fenton is sweet, loyal and another one of my boys.. but his obviousness has left him open to deception in three different episodes, not counting the tolkyolk one since that wasn’t BOYD”S choice: But he put blueprints out online for a mcduck industries project, got his armor taken by beaks luring him in to work for him, and had Gandra working for Beaks snuck into his lab.. and probably in the process also got any info on it Bradford couldn’t get through company files. He’s a good man, a kind man but he could easily be a leak without realizing it and also has a mother at home and could be threatened into doing stuff for them for her saftey.. and yes I know she can take care of herself but we’re talking a regular cop against secret agents who aren’t above murdering one. He  might panic even if rationally he knows she’s fine.. or they could do the inverse and use her to get secrets from him since she’s a mother and Gandra could probably easily hack fenton’s armor, since Bradford probably has the full blueprints at this point. The point is while I don’t see him betraying them WILLINGLY, I get him being a possible leak. Donald could be, but again is too obvious and likely reguarly checked for bugs anyway long before fowl, as is Launchpad I assume. 

Bluescreen Beagle: I don’t know this dude, but I’m betting he’ll be important soon enough since they brought him up at all and he is a beagle working for Scrooge so that alone is interesting. 

Louie: Yeah unlike my boys I have no excuses for him here. While Louie is family, and has proven his own loyalty plenty... he’s also selfish, greedy and shortsighted so like Fenton he could be an easy accidental pawn at best or turn on them for money or an adventure free life at worst. I don’t think he would mind, i’m just more understanding of this given just last episode his response to a clearly suspicious thing making machine was to ignore any suspicion entirely and whine about it while Huey looking into it ended up saving the universe. He also nearly killed them all last season, so fair enough.   

So yeah Beakly is going to train them to 

WHich the boys are all for while Donald gets all spinny eyed ont he floor. Cue credits... though obviously we have to cover the scrooge side of things too... 

Meanwhile at the bin, Scrooge has brought Louie and Della there because there the sharpest mind he knows, and their seeing all the angles means their the perfect test subjects for his new post-deeply cutting betrayal security system. He also obviously goes off on an alteration filled rant at Bradford that has to be cut before he can get to calling him shiteating. And given he’s a buzzard that’s probably not inaccurate. Point is they are genuinely the best ones for the job and both agree.. Louie’s not really enthuastic about any of this but hey it’s their money this is guarding so why not. So with that done since we have two full plots to deal with and they don’t intersect until the last few minutes, like with Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades, i’m going to be splitting this one and covering each bit separately since it’s also easier for me to recall and recap that way. 

Beakly, Brah, Making Kids (and herself) Cry, Brah!: 

A can of coke to whoever figures out that reference first. Or a free review comisson shipping Coke is expensive you know? But yeah as you can tell this bit is not going to go well for any of the kids, or the beakly or my heart. So this plot continues at breakfast, where Huey is meticulously going over both his guidebook and Finch’s Journal to see if there’s ANY signs of F.O.W.L. their connection anything.. it’s also very clear he’s panicking. Given his enitre life is built on logic and he’s now facing a threat he probably feels he SHOULD have seen coming.. I mean they clearly have access to the Missing Mysteries, there must be SOME tie to them SOMEHOW. He, in my opinon at least, feels blindsighted and scared, going up against a group using his own love of logic that blindsighted all of them INCLUDING Scrooge, the most clever and daring adventuerer of all time and Beakly, who was likely responsible for seemingly wiping out F.O.W.L. in the first place. If THEY can be blindsighted, what hope does he have? So he’s searching for it in his comfort texts, kind of like I did at his age: when theirs a crisis trying desperatley to solve it even if you really can’t, which he cannot, at leats not alone.  Dewey of course being Dewey, has decided the solution is to get a massive sword he can’t lift and hit people with it and mock Huey for his reading. Huey gets what’s clearly the start of his episode long emotional breakdown, the worst he’s had of SEVERAL this series and over the biggest stakes thus far, seriously get this boy some therapy, while Dewey just thinks the key to beating their worst menace yet is a giant sword to hit things with. He does break a pot with it in an accidental spin attack in a later scene though so I do apricate that reference. 

But when opening the serving tray they find an attacking Webby instead with Beakly explaining why she’s doing this to her surrogate brothers: Beakly is testing them by having Webby sneak attack them at some point and the’ll never know when, while Beakly herself works with Donald to secure the house.. sadly we don’t get to see any of that latter part, as it’s probably full of hilarious slapstick, but it’d also clash heavily with the rest of this plot which, while not lacking in jokes, is meant to be uncomfortable and have us on edge like the boys, so fair enough. Webby “Bringer of Death” hugs htem saying this is going to be fun. 

Naturally it really REALLY isn’t as Huey is still very shaken by this. And it cleverly ties into what’s been shown from day one and especially this season to be his greatest weakness, and very likely the crux of his character arc: Huey can’t improvise. It’s a nice contrast to Louie last season: Louie’s very talent is thinking on his feet, seeing every angle and making them bend the way he wants. I’ts how he schemes as well as he does, how he fits into the family and what makes him himself. What he needed was to think of others and think through the consequences of his actions. That’s what he gained from his arc last season: perspective, the ablility to improvise while also not shooting himself in the foot for later and to have empathy for people.  Huey is the oppoisite: Instead his ablility to think IS his skill. He’s a genuis, able to understand super science on the level of fully grown adult genuises, able to puzzle through confounding mysteries, to solve any problem. He and huey both are gifted with anyalsis, but Louie sees the small picture, the people, the moving parts at the moment, while Huey sees the big picture and how everything connects to lead to one thing and loves learning more and more. I REALLY relate to him that way. But this season has brillinatly drilled in where he needs to improve: He’s not ready for suprises or deviations from his plans or all the things that could go wrong. He can’t improvise, he just panics. It’s something again I relate to and something that each of his episodes has set up leading to this moment hammering it home and me realizing what his arc was:

Challenge of the Senior-Junior Woodchucks had Huey utterly lost without his Guide Book for a while and unprepared for a sudden challenge in Violet. Quack Pack had him unravel when he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the world, yet he was perfectly fine once he knew what was going on, Astro B.O.Y.D. was entirely about his intellgence and need for structure leaves him bullied and alone a lot of the time even among in his element with the woodchucks and how he finds friendship in someone like himself who gets him. Rumble for Ragnarok showed that while he can comment find for sports like golf where there’s rigid structure, rules and history, he fails as bad as Launchpad at calling wrestling because wrestling is just as much about sponteaniety as planning, with run ins, reff discrations and other chaos being part and parcel and even in real life matches often have to be changed on the fly due to injuries or someone simply coming up with a better finish at the last minute. At the same time the season’s shown how it is vital to him, as the next two, The trickening and forbidden fountain showed WHY his structure works and that it can in the right format, and that he usually has reason for it. And the final one showed that too, with him being the one to find out what Bulba’s up to simply by research, and while he didn’t stop it, his pulling at the threads of why Bradford was there and his hate of them forced FOWL out into the open which, while now putting him on edge, forced their enmies into the open where while their more dangerous, they can now at least strike back.  Huey’s arc is , hopefully if i’m right about this, about him having to learn to use his strengths with his weakneses, much like Louie last season: To adpat, to grow while not forgetting who he is and that not everything can be put in a box, as the creators put their interpretation of him. Not everything can be quanitfied or planned for and sometimes you just have to try and hope for hte best. It’s a damn compelling arc, my relating to it helps of course but it paints Huey as a fascinating character and tying it heavily into the main plot fixes how Louie was largely removed from the moonlander plot aside from one episode, as was glomgold’s quest. While the season has three main plots: A focus on Huey, the missing mysteries and FOWL, all three intertwine perfectly and are interconnected. The creators learned well from where they slipped up last time and the result is phenomenal, and they’ve clearly proven this is Huey’s season afterall: Even when he’s not been the a-plot who huey is, how he functions and being forced to grapple with the downsides of it are front and center and I am here for it. 

But yeah he’s breaking down, not helped by trying to go to beakly only to find out about the hidden bin and Dewey tries to help him calm down.. only for Dewey to walk in and unsuprsingly the one who can actually offer deep encouraging support was Webby who threatens this isn’t the attack. Nor is her dummy she leaves for them. The boys are left terrified hoping they won’t be attacked and holding Dewey’s sword, but Huey ends up convinced it’s just a test and that it’s the classic paranoia gambit: by telling them something will attack, the real lesson is to be prepared.  But Nerp, Webby attacks them with arrows and easily snares Dewey while Huey has a panic attack that’s genuinely hard to watch as he ends up running into the wall and breaking his ankle. This very real pain along with his clear trauma when he flinches at her genuinely trying to help him snap Webby out of it: She realizes she’s gone way too far and utterly terrified her own brothers, sending one into a full on mental breakdown, just to prepare them. Up till now it was probably normal for Webby: Beakly trained her rigorously, if understandably, kept her from the world, probably did this to her, and Webby just thought it was normal and it made her what she is. But it also came at the cost of any normalcy. To me Webby’s always been like a lighter, since she can at least speak, has toys and Beakly you know treats her like a human being rather than a weapon, of the second Batgirl, Cassandra Cain. Cassandra was raised from birth as an experiment to make the ultimate weapon, someone who rather than speak spoke in phsyical motion and could kill effortlessly.. but actually doing so shocked her and she escaped and Bruce took her in. Cass is as badass as Batman at a fraction of the age but dosen’t understand simple life things and can’t speak. Hence the parallel: While Beakly isn’t a monster like David Cain, she still took a small child and turned them into a weapon strugging to adapt to society, and only isn’t a monster because as said she clearly cares about webby and dosen’t want to loose her like she lost her child and in-law to whatever presumibly fowl related nightmare took them from her and left Webby an Orphan.  What i’m getting at with this is this feels like Webby realizing while this is her normal.. the boys can’t take it with Dewey terrified and again, Huey nearly broken by all of this and whimpering in a corner. This isn’t bonding between master and student, grandmother and granddaughter, partners in fighting.. this is just .. wrong. So when Beakly, not noticing how badly she’s damaged either boy, demands Webby continue attacking them, Webby refuses, stands firm.. and prepares to take on the person she loves most in the world, yes more than Lena she’s only 12 for christ’s sake, and Beakly gladly accepts. Webby’s training is in session.  When we next see them the fight is in full force, and it is awesome to see. After 3 seasons we not only see Beakly’s darkest aspects come out we see her granddaughter in the path. Though at first it seems like what their training sessions normally are, a friendly if lively and full force spar between two trusting combatants. But it becomes clear over the fight from Webby’s reaction that Beakly is going harder than usual, and doesn’t stop when asked. Thankfully her kind gesture paid off as Huey and Dewey whisk her up to the attic. Webby is genuinely SCARED, never having seen her like this but also worried for her: Acting like a monster or not.. Beakly is still her granny and it’s clear FOWL coming back has rattled her. The fist through the attick doors, barred with the sword proves that.  The kids head up to the roof with Beakly in persuit like some sort of slasher villian, again fist through a door, determined to still fight while Webby clearly just wants this to stop and so does the audience. This hurts.. intentionally so but I haven’t been cut this deep by two family members literally coming to blows since Amethyst fought Pearl in the first season of steven universe. It’s tough to watch but in a very good way. The boys break up the tension for half a second by  rushing her and she just tosses them aside... where their caught by Donald, who didn’t realize ANY of this was going on and is rigthfully pissed.. though dosen’t do the angry dance thing because then he’d kill his children but he’s sure thinking it loud enough. 

As Webby reluctantly readies for round 2, Donald calls at her to fucking stop already. While she counters with they have to be ready, which is true... Donald shuts her down. “Not like this”. She’s broken Huey and Webby and Dewey.. is traumatized but fine but this episode really isn’t about him.  What it is about is Bentina Beakly and her Dark Night of the soul. I brought up the term for dumb reasons admitely: Because it sounded neat and because Douglas Adams had spoofed it with the dirk gently novel “Dark Tea-Time of the Soul” a title that’s stuck with me and a book I own and still need to read. But I looked it up to make sure I wasn’t badly misusing it and it turned out to fit this episode: A Dark Night of the Soul, as defined by spirtual guru and thankfuly not scumbag Eckheart Tolle whose article explained the old expression better than wikipedia could. While he naturally pitches his book there, it was still helpful so thanks man for your spirtual advice helping me analyize ducks. I owe you one. 

The Dark Night of the Soul is essentially a person coming to their lowest point after having lost themselves or feeling lost, rattled by one event and awakening with a new sense of spirtual purpose and a new direction and a sense of self again after it. Having everything you know upended and coming out the other side with a new self, usually in a religious sense. And it works here because really that’s what Huey, Beakly, Scrooge and to a Degree webby face here. Louie, Della, Dewey and Donald are all fine in the face of FOWl and it makes sense: Louie and Donald are often outside the adventure bubble in terms of enjoying it, seeing it’s dangers to them and in Donald’s case his kids, Webby included, and how much chaos it is. Both have accepted it as part of their lives so while this escalates things, both just see it as just more of the peril and chaos that’s a daily part of their lives. Dewey and Della being thrillseekers and loving a good challenge simply see this as taking on an epic challenge: fighting the worst villians of the world off and having a daring story to tell. Webby similarly isn’t that effected at first because she sees it the same way likely and only starts to get bothered by it when it starts tearing her family, the thing most precious to her, apart over it. 

But for the other three it makes sense. Obviously we’ll come back to Scrooge during his part of the episode. But for Huey as we’ve seen this upends his world. There was a massive deadly secret just beneath him, an unknown beyond all unknowns, and it rattled him.. and having his own sister constantly terrorize him just made it worse. For Huey without consitencey his life falls apart as those prevoius episodes highlhted.l He can prepare for anything.. but he has to know it’s coming and having a villian group who strikes from the shadows is his worst fears manifest and preparing for that naturally breaks the poor boy. He gets through it though, as once it’s on someone else, his fear falls away and as we saw his focus is entirely on helping webby: Not on himself, not on the risk but on protecting his sister. It shows that Huey has the potenital for instinct, as seen with the woodchuck and wrestling episodes too, he just needs to get out of his own head and let it work with his gut instead of trying desperately to use only his head. 

For Beakly though it’s far worse... and really gets to the core of who she is in this series. She was, and probably still is, a Secret Agent, who fought long and hard to utterly destroy FOWL, at the cost of everything else, constnatly having to keep her guard up with spies all around her and with Scrooge apparently being the only friend from those days who lasted the whole time. SHe probably lost countless partners in both sense of the word, time and youth she’ll never get back and everything she had to stop them. She gave S.H.U.S.H. everything as far as I can tell.  And then she got her reward. FOWL was gone, she had a child, and possibly had a loving partner, provided they didn’t either leave her pregannt and alone or just grow apart from her eventually we don’t know at this point and i’m just spitballing. Point is she had a child, she had a happy ending.. except clearly.. she did not. According to the website, and it’s probably still accurate, Beakly was living in seclusion following her retirement, likely to keep anyone from harming her child.. but also because with her partner possibly gone, she had almost NOTHING left. A child that either kept her at arms length or she kept at arms length to keep their family safe, an old friend who was busy as is, and a safe world.. that’s all she had. Just her and alone. And that’s been clearly shown as Beakly’s biggest issue as we see: She has trouble letting others, even webby at times given how she lied at her, in and given all she’s lost it’s hard not to see why. After a life time of probably watching cold blooded killers kill people she loved and having people betray her and loosing the father of her child possibly, again it’s vauge, no wonder she is the way she is.  And then it somehow gets worse and better: She looses her child, one of the three people she has left in the world.. yet she finds herself in charge of Webby. And with that.. she has a purpose again, to protect this child. This baby girl who needed her more than anything. So she did.. a little too well as discussed. To quote the excellent song “Dark, Sad, Lonely, Knight” from the musical “Holy Musical B@tman!” which yes really exists: 

“I remember that horrible night that night you were split in two, and I swore I’d protect you. So I built a wall all around you, but the wall was too tall, it blocked out all the birds and the sun. I tried to raise you right! I tried to raise you proper! I tried to be a mentor and a friend and a mother and a brother too! I’d insulate you from any outside source of fright... i’d make bloody certain, you’d never see another, dark, sad, lonely night. “ 

And yes as you can imagine that was sung by Alfred.. but it fits perfectly. That’s how Beakly raised Webby, guarding her from the world, trying to protect her from the world the way she’d always guarded herself from it. She did hurt webby’s development.. but you can see WHY. She lost everything, she had two people left in her life at that point: One had given her home and the other had given her her soul back. She couldn’t loose Webby so she made sure she couldn’t and held her as tight as she could. It’s why she pushed Scrooge to let his young nephews into his life. She saw over her time with him he was doing what she did, pushing everyone out. She wanted him to avoid being alone like she was before Webby. And it worked.. and showed her Webby clearly wanted to see the world and that Bentina didn’t have to be afraid to show it to her anymore, and could let Scrooge share in doing so. She let her be free and opened up for the first time in likely a decade since she got a two year old dropped on her lap.  And soon wither she’d admit it or not she found herself part of the family. She found herself the voice of reason, sometimes sharing it with Donald, and the one to put both Scrooge and the rest of the family in their place when they nearly tore apart again, helping Donald realize that for all scrooge hurt him.. Scrooge hurt from loosing della too, and helping the boys realize Scrooge, much like herself, tends to lash out at people. She prevented them from getting distance from their family, knowing from experince you may never get them back or mend that wound. She was part of the family and for the first time in her life even if again, given her emotoinal distance she wasn’t really close to any of the duck family but Scrooge and her newly inducted Grandaughter, she still clearly cares and looks after them and even her harsh treatment of Della was well meaning and understandable.  And that’s why the F.O.W.L. revelation tears her apart to her very core, her very SOUL: Because not only is the enemy she thought dead, or may of known wasn’t dead we don’t know but this episode leans towards the former alive, not only is her worst enemy, one who nearly killed her grandaughter part of them once again, but their head was one of Scrooge’s most trusted advisors and associates, the man he trusted more than himself at times to do what the company needed and the only one who knew his deepest secrets besides Beakly herself. They now faced not only her worst nightmare reborn, but with vital info about them and everyone around them. And for all we Know F.O.W.L. took her family from her in the first place and now they easily could again and she NEVER saw it coming. It’s why she drives everyone including Webby so hard, because she can’t take loosing everyone she cares about again so they will be ready, they will be prepared even if it destroys them on the inside because she cannot take it again.. she can’t fail them AGAIN. I feel she puts a lot of the blame on herself because in this family it’s her job to be the suspicious one, to see things coming, to be ready, to be the one who knows EVERYTHING even more than scrooge.. and this apparently rattled her as much as he did and suprised her just as much. She failed and she can’t again even if Webby hates her for it.  But in trying to continue the fight.. she slips, Webby dodges and she falls off the roof.. and everyone helps her up. Even if they all have EVERY REASON to be mad at her they help. And Webby points out this can’t go on. They won’t get stronger tearing themselves apart.. their a family. They don’t need to do it like fowl, they need to be themselves and work TOGETHER. The one thing they have, the one thing they can trust is each other. Beakly is touched like this and realizes their right.. their not the enemy.. and there the one people,, for once in her life she can fully and completely trust. She tries apologizing to webby, they hug..and then gets an alert. What’s all that about? Well to get that that we kinda have to finish the other story.. which I would’ve put first had I realized this was going to be as long as it was but hey. 

Escape from the Impossibin 

Thankfully this won’t be as long or as emotionally complex.. entirely. So back at this plot about 20 minutes ago, Scrooge breaks down the challenge and the risk as it was made by the most devious and deranged minds he knows: Gyro and Quackfaster with Louie getting a good laugh out of me by pointing out “Why are the most devious minds in Duckberg friends of ours” to which I say because only Scrooge let’s them go all out, and on the friend part, at least for you, Louie...

I mean maybe Quackfaster, but you stole from Gyro multiple times now. And he hated Fenton for far dumber and more petty reasons why wouldn’t you assume he hates you too.. I mean he did help with Louie’s Eleven but there was also a good chance your head would explode there so I don’t really count it. 

Anyways Scrooge offers lunch if they make it, which Louie notes means he must REALLY not think they will. And the first test proves his overconfdience correct as we enter the most dangerous, devious and deadly trap Gyro could manage.. which given who we’re dealing with, i’d be very afraid. The ultra violent ultra violet trap seems at first to just be a bunch of purple, if really cool buzzsaws and sawblades, your standard super villian death course.. but Gyro being beyond your average super villian, I mean the only reason he’s not is he has a steady job that lets him build a clone army with company resources so why would he give that up, jazzed it up with an ultraviolet bit of bulbtech.. and due to the violet light it hides the traps ,meaning their invisible. And while Louie and Della try navigating them, they cannot get through as Louie runs out of PEP to spray them with and Della using her metal leg as a guide, which itself is awesome for her as she clearly and wisely made the thing nigh indestructible and we haven’t seen it tear or get destroyed once all series so good going, really should market that to other people in need of prostetics della and Scrooge. Scrooge is of course delighted as that’s the entire point even if his child and grandchild are understandably not as happy about it.  But naturally, as I hinted at in the teaser, it goes wrong as Scrooge’s password dosen’t work and he tries it too many times, been there, sucks. Granted Louie asks hilariously “Your the oldest man in the world why isn’t your password just 1234″.. and though the why is obvious, it’s still a good line. Point is their locked out and now have to escape it for real! Weirdly Scrooge dosen’t catch onto the fact of whose behind it, but we’ll get to that. He does have more pressing matters. Luckily Louie figures it out after an insult at the Bulbtech causes it to flash read, like most Bulbs do.. but since this Bulb’s entire purpose is to flash Purple, that means pissing it off makes the blades visable and while Scrooge is understandably sore that his 3 million dollar security system has such a big flaw in it, they escape. Though I get Scrooge’s frustration: Their going up against someone who knows how Gyro’s tech’s works, if Louie can figure it out so can Bradford and he wouldnt send FOWL in without a full briefing on Scrooge. 

We don’t see the next one as it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room okay i’ll stop and so does Dell after Louie well meaningly smacks his mom. Next puzzle’s quackfaster and I like scrooge pulling a Dumbledore and having some of his most trusted advisors devise the traps for him. I may hate JK Rowling for good reason but I did always love that bit of the Sorcerer’s (Or phillosphers in the uk because the publisher’s weren’t as stupid) Stone. Death of the author and all that. Point is I like it here too even if i’ts truncated for time. But Emily’s trap is a bunch of tiles that fuck with gravity because apparently she’s magical now... who knew. I’m not questioning it though: She runs a giant library full of dangerous, and probably magical in some cases, literature.. if she didn’t know spells she probably woudn’t be able to sort some of them. It’s a new fact out of nowhere but it makes perfect sense. 

Point is they have to figure it out though Louie once again succeeds with some books and, in a really cool bit, using scrooge as a platform with the two walking in time and della grabbing on as they hit the master rune to shut them all off. It’s a damn cool sequence even if Scrooge is agrviated.  We then come, after they apparently fought a Squid Monster off screen, because Quackfaster can also apparently summon demons.. or gyro made a tentacle monster which dosen’t suprise me at all. Either way it’s the final challenge in the main room leading ot the bin and in the way of deactivating security: A Scrooge Robot! Because as we all know by video game logic, the Robot Version is always stronger. Of course Louie’s annoyed both at the spending of his inhertince and at Scrooge’s egotisim but he has a good point there and the thing looks hilarious clunky with 8-bit eyes.. till it morphs, to scrooge’s delight, into a giant purple robot with a cane and scrooge’s face on the front j jonah jameson style. I never see that spider-slayer refrenced but i’mg lad this one did. Granted it could be to arim zola or something but I feel the Spider-Slayer refrence fits here.. take a look if your curious. 

See? Anyways a fight insues with Scrooge, in a great bit, riling up Della when she fishes for him to admit she would’ve’ been a better base by bringing up Donald first instead. The trio get their asses kicked, and a pep can drops out, as naturally Louie was lying but it’s a rare flavor so I get it. I do. Thankfully his lies do save them however as the Cherry PEP he fires at the machine stuns it while Scrooge USES THE POGO CANE MOVE ON IT. Hell.. fucking yes. It’s about time we saw that again and in fully glory here too. I really want that game on the switch by the way.. where’s my disney afternoon collection.. WHERE CAPCOM WHERE.  But yeah they won.. and Scrooge is upset. Because this was SUPPOSED to keep FOWL out but if his family can beat it so can they. And now we get to Scrooge’s far less horrifying dark night of the soul as we get a sense of just how much this whole ordeal has rattled him: As he mentioned at the top of hte episode he TRUSTED  Bradford. It was clear he never liked him as a person, but Scrooge is a paranoid guy, he hardly trusts anyone and for someone to earn that it had to take a lot.. and it naturally stings. We see that while he may of been a necessary evil, SCrooge still liked the guy on some level and to have someone he trusts and respects betray him naturally shook Scrooge. He trusted someone.. and they knifed him in the back going against all he stands for. Instead of earning money, Bradford stole what Scrooge and others worked for while working to destroy him as soon as he feasably could and take his legacy for himself. To Scrooge, Bradford was revealed to be the worst kind of parasite and one that leeched off him for probably decades.  But what’s worse is the risk that creates: Bradford was one of his top guys and the only other one running the company: He knows EVERYTHING about Scrooge, every secret, every investment, where every treasure is stored, and everywhere he’s been. He knows about his friends, family, some of his darkest and most guarded for a reason secrets, secrets he’d never give away freely.. and can now use ALL of it to destroy his family and everyone they care about. That sheer level of betryal would rock anyone but someone like Scrooge, who BARELY trusts anyone and can even be paranoid of his own family from time to time? LIke beakly it’s easy to see why he spiraled and why he put so much into this: Because like Beakly, he was blindsided, and his buisness, his crown jewel, the thing he put his heart and soul into and worked hard to build up and CONTINUES to work hard on to this day.. was being slowly corrupted and he has no idea what parts or where or just what all Bradford did with his money and resources and what nasty suprises he has hidden in them. The one thing he could trust as almost entirely his is tainted, his sense of security tainted.. and his sense of self tainted. If Scrooge freaking mcduck can get blindsighted like this, just how powerful is his former friend? 

And we soon see Scrooge’s own fears manifest as Bradford hyjacks the robot, revealing this was, naturally him.. as of COURSE it was the guy who was revealed to be an evil mastermind who hates your guts. And because Scrooge didn’t change his password, which cleverly is the sum total of his money hence why it was a mass of numbers, which.. really dude? I don’t like doing it either and don’t change mine up if I can help it but even I did when someone tried hyjacking my spotify account. Yes that happened, I thought it was just a wifi thing, it was not. So yeah turns out Bradford was STILL one step ahead, and thus knew about the defenses and thus trapped Scrooge in them for reasons that will dramatically be revealed at the end of the episode. He also naturally attacks because just like JJ, he’s a crotchety old man whose yelling at our loveable rascals to in a sense, get off his lawn. Granted unlike JJ he’s clearly never came around, but the parallels are there. Point is it’s time for another fight this time using the gravity runes, with Scrooge hitting his despiar event horizon as if FOWL can outhink him on this what hope does he have. But like the rest of his family sans launchpad did for Beakly, Louie helps him through the other side and points out there are things they have they don’t.. and demonstrates as naturally the bulb tech used for the robot is just as irate so Louie tricks it into going after him then does a bin dive, with the massive amount of money destroying the thing and Bradford unable to get Gandra to stop it, so our heroes win... oh and Bradford left the company.. for some reason, because as his investors Scrooge can’t really remove him and I was curious how they’d get him out.. then again Scrooge probably, even as cheap as he is, had security cameras showing Bradford’s little talk with Bulba or any of his various rants as evidence. I mean Scrooge is stingy but he’s not STUPIDLY stingy. it’s the best I got, point is he’s to the wind now and our heroes have one! Except yeah.. the ending of the last segment. 

Lost the Battle, Time to Win the War

In an utterly amazing swerve we find out just what kind of alert Beakly got as the rest of this episodes cast have arrived at the bin and Beakly asks why Scrooge hasn’t answered his phone.. and when Scrooge does Bradford’s plan comes into view: Turns out he locked scrooge in as a DISTRACTION, keeping him in the one place no one could reach him. It also explains why he attacked Scrooge: Besides having the perfect weapon for it and getting to gloat, someone needed to keep him busy while the rest of his operatives finished his master stroke.  Turns out EVERYONE involved with one of the missing mysteries called: Goldie called to gripe about the fountain being gone and Scrooge taking it before she could, the Mervanans called to tell him the harp was swindelded by some eggheads and their good vibes did nothing to save her, we also get to see the pink one in full view which is nice but unimportant, and we get Drake back for a cameo! 

But sadly it’s because he just met Steelbeak for the first time.. again, and Beaky clearly beat the every loving shit out of him as he’s heavily bruised, and took the papers on Solgelo’s Circuit with him

And Gene called to tell them he was being kidnapped as the Blot, now with a fully functioning gauntlet got to him. So to sum it up F.O.W.L. in one night, took all the missing mysteries they’d gathered or found, beat one of their most trusted allies and made their new security system worthless. 

It was an utterly masterful story move: Firmly tying both plots together and confirming FOWL has SOMETHING bigger they want out of them. Some bigger plan, and as the last two weeks proved already knew where they were. Now it’s open war F.O.W.L.’s taken the first shot and hit hard. 

But Scrooge, now with his confidence restored thanks to Louie, instead of backing down, is galvanized: They’ve lost the mysteries they have but if F.O.W.L. wants the rest, their going to have to beat the greatest family of adventurers the world, and probably the multiverse if we’re being honest and yes that includes other versions of this family, has ever known to them first. Sneaking in the shadows, attacking them from behind, striking them while they were at their most vunerable? FOWL was in their element and won this round because of it. But now adventuring, traveling the world, finding rare artifacts lost to time? Now their in the ducks wheelhouse. As Beakly, finally accepting her place in the family and that she’s not alone, proudly states their not ready for them. And so we close on one badass group shot as Dewey tries to lift the sword again only for his siblings to help, minus Louie naturally who still looks on determined. Our heroes have been through their dark night of the soul, they’ve lost a lot and the villians are miles ahead.. but they’ve also come out of it together, determined, their doubts behind them for now, and FOWL firmly in their sights. They won the battle.. but the war’s far from over. Game on. 

Final Thoughts. 

God this was a good one, as you could probably tell from the way I went on and on about it but this was one of the series best.. and while I say that a lot, mostly because Season 3 has consistently been about them topping themselves again and again, this time it’s etched in stone. I thought this would be a good one but forgetable.. instead it’s easily one of the best dives into the cast, and one of the best bottle episodes i’ve seen, limiting the cast to just our heroes, a handful of cameos and our big bad and letting our heroes be their own worst enemies for most of it. IT’s a great character piece, with plenty of great fluid action set pieces, absolutely heartbreaking character stuff, and a hell of an ending that sets the tone for the final half of the season and possibly the series.  It also shut my mouth about the pacing, because as I hoped, much like season 2 it was slow on purpose: The first half, while also providing vital setup here and there, was also about telling stories they really COULDN’T once the FOWL plot kicked into gear for act 2. Getting trapped in a sitcom, a casual breakin of a gala where Donald meets the love of his life, a trip to tokyolk.. none of this would’ve really worked with Fowl at their heels. By taking their time they simply had more time to set the stage so when things kicked up with this act, things could stay intense.. minus the christmas episode but that takes place before these episodes so I don’t really count it. Point is the tone is firmly set, the stakes are high and things are at a level they’ve never been. This is one of the show’s finest and I expect i’ts only going to go higher and higher from here.  Also one last note Bradford, bud.. why did you out Gandra as an agent? You had to have known about the whole Fenton thing, you seem to know everything and a break in to Gyro’s lab would’ve been something Scrooge had to tell you about or you could learn about yourself. They didn’t know she was still evil or working for you or that she was even on their radar. Also related while Steelbeak and Blot’s missions were obvious it was easy to figure out who went where besides them: Heron went under the sea both because she was the odd one out and because Bradford was presumably still mad about the helicopter thing, while Rockerduck obviously took the fountain since he’d been there and knew where it was now it was properly restored.  Next Week: Kidcentric episode and the sabrewing sisters are back! Also while I don’t hate it, Lena’s blueform is simply a super mode.. phew. I mean I don’t dislike it but i’ts not a walk around in public thing. Point is kids teaming up for shenanigans, a mystic sword in the middle of x of swords AND the return of my two faviorite fowl agents. I’m pumped. 

Until then if you like this review there’s more reviews on the pages on my blog including a just finished this weekend review of the original Ducktales 4-parter, Catch as Cash Can. It was a trip. You can find that collected  into a handy series of links HEREEEEEEEEEE. Or if you prefer this series, as I do, you can find last week’s review of Let’s Get Dangerous HERE. If you like this review and want to here my thoughts on say an episode from the first two seasons (which I mostly haven’t covered yet), or another disney show, you can pm me on this very blog to comission an episode, just like one of my fans commissioned me to review catch as cash can. Or you can follow me on my patreon HERE.  Until next week stay safe, vote if your old enough and check your house for Gary Busey!