#weird old man at the garage sale

[canadian-finch]

So a few months back I was at a garage sale and this disconcerting old man sold me an old box full of scripts from the 70s and 80s.  When people started talking about Goncharov on here, I actually realized I had a few script drafts from earlier in production in there.  The blocking is sparse, but a lot of this as I understand it made it pretty close to the finished script.

[sister-lucifer]

Genre: Smut 

Summary: Reader finds an antique Jack-In-The-Box at a yard sale, unaware that by purchasing it they would also be taking home an unwanted guest. 

Content/Warnings: Dubcon elements, horror elements, LJ being a stalker creep (so some non con voyeurism), LJ is just fucking weird in this one, clown fucking shenanigans, big stripey clown dick and also long stripey clown tongue, comically large clown penis, LJ eats ass, LJ is massive so big size difference, tummy bulge, that dick should NOT be able to fit in you but it’s my story i can bend the laws of anatomy however i wish, LJ is very mean in this one and doesn’t really care if he hurts you, some degradation, unprotected sex, creampie, reader is kind of a slut boy (same), there’s a lot of build up but please it’s worth it i prommy (but also feel free to skip to the porn that’s totally fair)

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

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Feedback is encouraged and appreciated.

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

A/N: Jack is british just fyi so if you’re like me and you read with accents there you go!

The antique jack-in-the-box was certainly an odd find at a garage sale, but there was no denying that it caught your eye the moment you saw it. It was incredibly ornate, clearly hand painted in all black and white and decorated with balloons and candy, not to mention it was preserved wonderfully for a piece that had, presumably, been stored in an attic for who knows how long. You could run your fingers over the edges and feel every detail of the tediously carved borders. You carefully turned the wooden box over in your hands, looking over the large, carefully painted words on the front:

“Laughing Jack In The Box!”, surrounded by all sorts of patterns and shapes.

Your face immediately lit up. Everything about this box screamed one of a kind. You could already see it sitting on your collectors shelf, safe behind the glass for you to keep and observe. You absolutely had to have it. 

“Excuse me miss?” You called, looking around for the old woman who was running the garage sale. She got up from her lawn chair and made her way over about as fast as you’d expect from one as antique as some of the items currently being sold. 

“Could you tell me about this jack-in-the-box?” You asked, trying to hide your elation. 

“Oh, this old thing…” She began, looking at you over her comically oversized glasses. “It belonged to my great, great grandfather, Isaac, and was handmade by his father. It was given to me as a young girl, and I was keeping it in the hopes I could pass it on to my own children.” 

You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness at the comment, but it seems the woman had no qualms about selling it. 

“Well, it may please you to know that I’m an antique collector,” You explained in an effort to reassure her. “This is a beautiful piece. If you’ll sell it to me, I can promise you it’ll be safe on my shelf.” 

“Oh, I have no worries about that. No one would pick this old thing up unless they knew what they were buying. So, what’s your offer young man?” 

You thought for a few moments, weighing the box in your hands. You didn’t want to completely rip her off, but a one of a kind antique like this could go for thousands in the right place, and you weren’t looking to break the bank for this thing. Besides, who else would possibly buy it if you didn’t? 

You pulled your wallet out and flipped through it, debating with yourself. 

“How about…a clean fifty?” 

And with that, a deal was made. Before you knew it you were proudly walking back to your car with the box tucked under your arm. You placed it carefully in the front passenger seat where you could watch over it, glancing back one last time to the now empty place on the table where the box once sat before driving away. 

Immediately upon getting home you rushed to your room and swung open your shelf, eyes scanning over every row as you tried to find the best place for your newest treasure. It took a bit of rearranging to keep the shelf organized to your liking, but eventually you were able to place the box neatly right in the middle. You carefully closed the glass door and took a few steps back to admire your work. It was absolute perfection, and you couldn’t stop yourself from happily clapping your hands together. You deserved to applaud yourself a bit, after all. 

You flopped down on your bed and grabbed your phone, eager to share your find with anyone who would listen, giddy with excitement. You really couldn’t believe how lucky you were! No one else would ever lay hands on a jack-in-the-box like this one, and now it was all yours. 

As the hours of the afternoon dissolved into the night, you found yourself peeking into your room just about every time you walked past. You smiled wide whenever you saw the pristine box sitting on your shelf. It was especially beautiful when the sun hit it just right and made it shine. Your chest was still swelling with pride even as you climbed into bed for the night, able to peacefully fall asleep knowing that you’d filled another spot on your shelf today. 

Unbeknownst to you, you had just given up the privilege of peaceful sleep. 

That night you had one of the worst, most vivid nightmares you could remember. 

You were standing in your room late at night, and everything seemed deathly silent, as if all the birds and insects that would normally be chirping outside had up and died off. A shiver ran down your spine as you looked around in confusion. You tried to turn on your lamp, but it wouldn’t come on. Trying the light switch yielded the same distressing result. You moved to open the door, but the moment you reached out for the knob it disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place. When you turned back, your bedroom window was gone too. Both of your escape routes had dissolved into thin air without so much as a sound. 

The hair on the back of your neck stood up as your eyes slowly wandered to the jack-in-the-box. It was the only object left on your now open collectors shelf, but it seemed to take up so much more space than before. It had captured your gaze in an iron grip, and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t look away. A terrible feeling began to bubble in the pit of your stomach, becoming heavier and heavier until you felt as though you may collapse from the weight, but nothing was happening. Something about the box itself felt so…malicious, so threatening, but it was simply sitting dormant on your shelf. 

What were you so scared of? 

That was the question replaying in your mind when you woke with a start, nearly falling out of your bed in your disoriented state. You shot straight up as you fought to catch your breath, taking a look around just to make sure your window and door were still there. Fortunately, they were. It really was just a nightmare. 

A wave of relief washed over you as you slowly laid back down. You took an extra minute to catch your breath, silently scolding yourself for being so easily scared. You turned your head to look out the window, now noticing the very first little shreds of the dawn coming up over the horizon. 

However, you noticed something else as well. Something that set off just a bit of unease in you. 

The glass door of your shelf was open. 

Not wide open, or broken, just slightly cracked as if it hadn’t been closed all the way and was now just barely ajar. You could’ve sworn you shut it all the way, you could even remember hearing the little click.

But we all make mistakes, don’t we?

That seemed enough of an explanation to calm you as you slipped out of bed to close the shelf once more. This time you double checked, just to be sure. When you were satisfied you went back to bed, finding sleep rather easily and this time without incident. 

When you awoke some hours later you couldn’t help but question which parts of the night were a dream and which were reality. The memories of when you had woken up the first time were hazy, not to mention you were still shaken up from the nightmare. You tried to push it out of your mind, though, when you found your shelf securely closed and seemingly untouched. That was really all that mattered. 

It seems you had the green light to go about your day as usual. 

First thing’s first: you need to change out of your nightclothes. The stained band tee and baggy sweats would not cut it for running errands. You decided on something that would be comfortable for the day, but still made you feel confident and happy with yourself. 

As you undressed you couldn’t help but take a moment to appreciate yourself in the mirror, standing there in just your boxer briefs. You ran a hand over your sides, turning around halfway as you admired your own figure. It was a silly habit to have, really, but what was it hurting? After all, you were one handsome man. You deserved to be seen. 

You weren’t the only one who thought this, and you certainly weren’t the only one who enjoyed admiring you. 

Completely hidden out of your view, just how he liked, two achromatic pinwheel eyes spun manically behind the shadows of the jack-in-the-box. He only had to lift the box just slightly, so little that you would never notice, and even if you did you would likely brush it off as your imagination. Jack was skilled like that, able to slowly lure his victims into madness in such a way that they wouldn’t notice until it was too late. 

You, though, had caught his attention in a slightly different manner. 

You had piqued his interest the moment you picked up his box, handling it with a curious yet careful manner. For generations he had been packed away in dusty attics and grimy basements and long forgotten storage units, completely disgraced by the family line that was supposed to cherish him. But you had plucked him from that miserable cycle, dusted him off, and placed him carefully on your shelf in a secure little spot where you could see each other every day. 

This was certainly unusual behavior. 

That ache of contempt that he felt for nearly everyone else somehow had yet to creep in. On some level, Jack was just as curious about you has you had been about him, and now he was safe behind the glass to keep and observe you as he saw fit. Human bodies in particular had always been an odd interest of his seeing as they looked so different from his own. Seeing you flaunt yours so proudly with no one else around was honestly a bit amusing. 

He watched silently as you slipped on your day clothes, turning around a couple more times in the mirror and adjusting your outfit a bit before finally deciding you were happy. He didn’t slip back down into his box until he heard your car pulling out of the driveway. 

He sat there with himself for some few hours while you were gone. He had lost any sense of time at this point, used to spending his days alone in his box. Although, this time, there was one reoccurring theme that all his thoughts seemed to circle back to: 

You. 

What made exactly you so interesting, hm? He could venture a vague guess, but something was just…different. His affinity for humans had long since waned to nothing nearly two centuries ago, and yet a small part of it was beginning to stir in him once more. 

It seemed this would require further observation, which was certainly no issue to him. 

You, on the other hand, were blissfully unaware that you were currently sharing your humble abode. There were a few times when the events of the earlier night managed to worm its way back into your mind, but you always managed to push it away. You were simply being silly, that was all. It was a random occurrence with absolutely no significance. 

Yeah, sure, that made enough sense. 

By the time you were unlocking your front door, you had been lucky enough to truly forget about your nightmare. It seemed that you had finally calmed yourself and managed to stay grounded. 

At least you had until you stepped through the door. 

The second you had both feet in the doorway, the nightmare came rushing back in vivid flashes. It felt like your grocery bags were filled with cement, your limbs suddenly going weak. Your entire body had gone stiff, paralyzed with an indescribable sense of anxiety, the feeling that something was terribly, deeply wrong in your home. 

You swept through the whole house and found not a single thing out of place, though every time you turned a corner you were sure you’d see something you didn’t want to.

No smashed in windows, no kicked in doors, nothing taken or broken, no other sign of an intruder. Nothing that would indicate anything out of the ordinary.

Then why was your stomach churning with the same heavy dread you’d felt in the nightmare? 

You wracked your brain as you tried to figure out what could possibly be making you feel so uneasy in your own home, but nothing came to mind. Even as you put away your groceries you were mumbling and muttering to yourself, attempting to fetch any semblance of an explanation. 

Nothing. 

Absolutely nothing. 

Jack was more than happy to watch you spin yourself into a tizzy over his little tricks. He giggled to himself when you paced back and forth where he could see you outside the doorway of your room, proud to see he hadn’t lost his mischievous touch. 

You felt absolutely exhausted by the time you were trudging your way to your room, the subtle thrum of an oncoming headache already threatening to floor you for the rest of the day. You were so drained, in fact, that you had to do a double take to realize that your collector’s shelf had been completely opened. 

Not just creaked open like last time, completely opened. If it had been pushed any farther, the hinges would’ve snapped. 

You stared in disbelief, mouth hanging half open. You couldn’t even will yourself to move. It felt someone had just lit a match to the pile of questions that had been accumulating in the back of your mind. As if on autopilot, you walked over numbly and shut the glass door of the shelf. This time, you triple checked that it was shut. 

Of course, this time you weren’t satisfied with that. 

The first thing you did once you had thrown on sweats and laid down was go to order a lock for the shelf online. You even paid extra to make sure it would be delivered the next day. After all, the last thing you needed was one of your prized possessions falling out and breaking. 

Yes, that was the very normal, rational reason why you needed a lock. 

You sighed with exhaustion as you struggled to get comfortable in your bed, figuring maybe a nap would help you recharge a bit. By some miracle you actually managed to fall asleep, and by another you slept peacefully for a full hour uninterrupted. 

Damn, you needed that. You actually felt better when you woke up, stretching and cracking your back a few times before getting up. 

Suddenly your fearful reaction earlier seemed so silly! Why were you so upset anyways? Because of a bad dream and a dingy old shelf? How stupid. Really, you were lucky you lived alone. If anyone had seen you like that they’d think you were crazy, irrational, completely out of your—

The shelf is open again. 

The fucking shelf is open again, and the box has moved an entire shelf down on its own. 

The box has moved on its own. 

You were suddenly feeling light headed. 

You sat back down on your bed, your head already beginning to ache once more. You were dizzy, confused, struggling to find your bearings in reality. You held your head in your hands as you tried to take a breather. Part of you hoped that if you simply looked away then back up, maybe the problem would fix itself.

No such luck. 

You groaned with frustration, practically stomping over to your shelf. You moved the box back to its original place in a quick and jumpy manner, as if it was burning hot and it would hurt to hold onto it for too long. This time you quadruple checked that it had been closed properly, and even threw a blanket over the shelf to cover it. 

It wasn’t a fix, but it could at least give you some semblance of security. 

“Stupid broken thing…” You muttered to yourself, speed walking out of your room to head to the kitchen where hopefully a snack could distract you. 

Jack was giddy with excitement, unable to stop himself from snickering with smug self-satisfaction. It had been so long since he had someone to play with, and you were so fun to scare it almost felt too easy. 

He would have to play his next cards perfectly, though, if he wanted to keep this up. 

He didn’t mess with you at all the rest of the day, even when he really, really wanted to. You peaked into your room every time you walked by, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw the shelf was exactly as you’d left it every time. 

Maybe, you thought for the umpteenth time, you really were just being irrational. You didn’t even have another nightmare that night, and when you awoke the shelf was still closed with the blanket untouched on top of it. 

When the lock came in that day you wondered for a bit if you really needed it, but ultimately decided it was better to be over-prepared than under. You could finally remove the blanket cover on the shelf, feeling much better now that you could properly shut and lock it. You stored the key away in the drawer of your nightstand where you knew it would be safe. 

For you, it seemed like everything was finally back to normal again. 

For Jack, this was the perfect opportunity to increase his antics tenfold. He was becoming more and more impatient, wanting to badly to properly greet you, and with each scare he only felt himself grow stronger. He was feeding on your anguish, allowing it to fuel him until eventually he would be ready to come out and play. 

For the next few weeks, Jack made you sure you found absolutely no peace. He was relentless and cruel, even by his standards. He broke your stupid little lock, and the two others you ordered after that. He couldn’t count the amount of times he’d made you shut the glass door to the shelf again. Whenever you tried to cover him with the blanket, he let you know he was particularly upset with you by not only swinging the shelf door wide open, but moving his box right to your bedside table. That way, he got to see your terror up close when you jolted awake, nearly tripping over yourself to get away when you saw the box a mere couple of feet from your face. He made the house creak and jump every time you got a moment of quiet. Hell, he was petty enough to mess with the thermostat when you were out, meaning you got to return home to a freezing cold or blistering heat that was surely running up your bill. Speaking of running up your bills, it wasn’t unusual for Jack to leave the water running either. 

The thing that got to you the most, though, was the incessant nightmares.

God, they never stopped. 

They were almost all the same: 

You’d be trapped somewhere familiar, like your room or a store you’d been at that day. You’d be completely alone and no lights would work, and when you tried to leave all the doors and windows would disappear. And every time, every goddamn time, that jack-in-the-box would be sitting there to greet you when you turned around. That was by far the worst part. Just looking at it would make you weak and nauseous, but you always woke up just before you’d collapse. Whenever you awoke from your nightmares you tried to take comfort in the sunrise beginning to slowly come up over the horizon, but deep down you knew the daylight could no longer save you. 

Each day you woke up more exhausted than the last, too tired to go anywhere but not able to stand being in your house with whatever entity was making your life hell. 

On the contrary, Jack was merely becoming more and more energetic every day. He hadn’t felt this eager in a long, long time. He was even feeling a bit bold, working up the courage once or twice to open the shelf while you were in the room. That scared you the most, making you jump with fear and scramble out of the room as fast as you could. 

He knew you didn’t really have anywhere else to go. You could leave for the day, sure, but sooner or later you’d have to come back home. The stars must’ve aligned for him to find you, the perfect little plaything that could never really escape and gave him endless entertainment. You were certainly a funny one. 

Although, there were times he enjoyed simply watching you just as much as tormenting you. 

Countless times he’d find himself occupied with quietly observing you as if you were a completely foreign creature. He’d peak out of his box to watch you toss and turn at night, to watch you dress in the morning, and he even got to see you walk back from your showers a few times. You looked so soft, even from this far away, with so many places for him to grab and squeeze and wrap his massive claws around. 

It was shameful, really. Or it should’ve been at least. Jack didn’t know the meaning of the word. All he knew was that the urge to reach out and grab you in his claws was growing stronger, and fast. His already minimal patience was beginning to thin, and he knew that soon it would run out completely. Watching you from afar wouldn’t be enough. 

But that was okay. 

He was finally ready to properly greet you, and he knew exactly how he’d do it. 

That night you experienced one of the usual terrors, but this time you couldn’t recognize the room. It looked to be the bedroom of a victorian mansion with tall wooden walls decorated with dusty paintings that seemed to go up forever, closing you in on all sides. A child’s toys were scattered around the room, and the blankets on the bed had been tussled and pushed around. It was clear someone had been living here, but who? And why were you in a room you had never seen before? 

And why, God— 

Why was that jack-in-the-box still sitting on the shelf? And why was the crank turning on its own, playing the quiet, foreboding tune of “Pop Goes The Weasel?” 

The feeling of dread that filled you was nothing new, but what you didn’t expect was to see the box slowly open as the crank continued to turn.

The movement wasn’t sudden, but it was absolutely shocking, so much so that you fell back onto your hands. You tried to scoot backwards, to somehow get away, but you couldn’t move. All you could do was watch as the lid of the box clicked into its open place, and a dark shape began to emerge. 

It took a moment for you to figure out what you were looking at. The shape had sharp edges and moved slowly, in a controlled manner. It wrapped around the edge of the box and tapped against it. 

It was a hand. 

A massive hand with pitch black claws, each nearly as large as your palm, much too big to belong to something that should’ve been able to fit in that box. 

A second clawed hand reached up, grabbing onto the opposite side of the box. They looked to be pulling up the rest of the body. 

You watched, mouth agape in silent horror as the claws were followed by long striped sleeves, then a head and face covered by long black hair that fell past broad shoulders, until eventually the entire body had dragged itself out of the box. The creature sat there limply with its limbs bent unnaturally as if its own body was too heavy for it to move. There was one thing about it, though, that made your blood run cold: 

Above a sharp toothed smile that was stretched impossibly wide were two achromatic pinwheel eyes, spinning manically behind a curtain of dark hair. They pierced your soul with their stare, almost seeming to glow in the dark.

There was a split second where you knew you were about to wake up, but the sight before you when you forced your eyes open was so similar to your nightmare that you weren’t sure it had worked. 

That…thing from your dream was hovering over you. 

Its visage was completely clear to you now, hair falling around its face and on either side of your head as it peered down at you. A single glance towards its body showed it was even bigger up close, easily twice your size. It resembled some sort of clown, in line with the theme of the jack-in-the-box, but nothing about it seemed comforting or humorous. 

Your first instinct was to thrash, but you couldn’t move. The clown had pinned your arms down with its massive claws, not even flinching when you tried to fight it off. It took no effort to hold you down. 

Its razor-toothed mouth began to crack open, and for a second you expected it to lunge forward and end it all with one fatal snap of its jaws. 

But that didn’t happen.

No, instead… 

It laughed.

The laugh itself didn’t even sound malicious or evil. In any other context it could easily be mistaken as an innocent giggle, a sound you might make when you saw something particularly cute. 

That was what you were to Jack: 

Cute. 

But not in the way you’d think. 

You were cute in the way a helpless, injured animal is cute. 

Cute in the way that something you could hold in the palm of your hand is cute. 

Cute in the way that something you knew you had complete control over is cute. 

Cute in a pathetic, pitiful way that Jack loved. 

He had waited so long to have his fun with you, he was trembling with excitement. 

“Oooh, there you are!” Jack spoke in a lighthearted tone, drawing out his words in a playful manner. You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to sound like, but it definitely wasn’t that. You couldn’t decide if his oddly happy demeanor and sing-song tone with the cartoonish lilt of his accent was more or less frightening than the classic demonic voice of a supernatural killer.

Suddenly something uncomfortably wet slid from your shoulder to your cheek, and it wasn’t until he pulled back that you realized it was his tongue. 

It was impossibly long and had the same striped pattern as his sleeves, moving in a much too articulated manner, as if it was another limb. You watched with wide eyes at it slowly retracted back into his mouth with a sickening wet sound. You could imagine it coiled up in there like a snake; after all, that was the only feasible way it should’ve been able to fit back in his mouth. 

“You taste even better than I imagined…” The clown continued, taking no notice of (or at least not caring about) your discomfort. “You’ve been teasing ol’ Jack, haven’t you?” 

“J…Jack?” You echoed in a whisper. You could hardly hear your own meek voice. 

He only chuckled in response, taking great delight in hearing you say his name. 

One of his hands released your arm, though you didn’t dare move either way. It slowly slid its way under your oversized nightshirt, pushing it above your chest and exposing your entire midriff. Both of his hands ran along your sides slowly, two claw-tipped thumbs barely scraping over your skin. Just a bit more pressure could’ve drawn blood, and it wouldn’t even take much effort on Jack’s part. 

You tried not to move, to not even breathe, terrified that one wrong move would get you torn to shreds. You could imagine one razor sharp talon digging into your chest and dragging to your stomach, slicing you open in a mess of gore and intestines and oh, God—

You winced when Jack’s tongue unfurled once more, this time running from your navel all the way to your chest. It left a cold trail of saliva that made you shiver. You had to turn your head away, unable to look at Jack any longer, only to yelp in pain when you felt the sharp sting of a bite.

When you looked down again you were greeted with Jack’s smug grin. 

“Pay attention to me and I won’t have to do that again.” He ordered, unblinking stare piercing through you. The tone of the demand was almost whiny, like he would throw a tantrum if he didn’t get his way.

“Wh…What the hell do you want?” You choked out. 

Jack didn’t answer. It would be more fun to watch you figure it out on your own. 

He adjusted you in his hold, allowing him to sit up as he moved to grasp your thighs. It was then you realized you’d neglected to put on any actual pants before bed, your lower half clad only in your boxer briefs which were doing very little to keep you modest, especially as Jack lifted your clothed bulge closer to his eager mouth. 

“W-Wait—!”

But your plea came a moment too late, and any other attempt at words died in your throat when you felt Jack’s tongue run over your cock through your boxers. 

“Shit—! Jesus Christ…” You huffed, “What the fuck…are you doing…?” 

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip and watched helplessly as Jack’s tongue ran over you once more, making you tense as you felt your cock twitch. Damn, that felt good…

You really shouldn’t have been enjoying this. Especially not this much. You expected to be much more disgusted, and yet you weren’t. In fact, there was a little voice in the back of your head that was eager to take much more. 

But what choice did you have, really? 

Jack certainly had no intention of stopping, and you certainly weren’t going anywhere. Besides, for all you knew you’d wake up tomorrow and realize this was all a shameful wet dream.

You tried to relax a bit in his grip, which proved difficult when he was staring at you like he wanted to eat you alive. 

Before you could blink Jack had suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, making quick work of your boxers with one swipe of his claws. The sound of ripping fabric caught you off guard, and everything happened so fast you weren’t sure what had happened until you felt Jack’s tongue run over the bare back of your thighs. 

“Oh my God—!” You cried out, barely managing to muffle yourself with a pillow. You held it tight against your face, and even had to bite down on it in an attempt to stop yourself from screaming when Jack slipped his tongue inside of you.

It felt even longer than it looked, squirming inside of you and leaving absolutely no spot untouched. Every time you thought he couldn’t possibly go any deeper, he somehow did, filling you with his tongue until you couldn’t fit anymore. A shame, really; he had lots more to offer, but he couldn’t expect much from such a little human. 

His hands were easily large enough to grasp your waist and hold you against his mouth. You had no way of knowing, but Jack was more than aware of his own strength, even taking care to make sure he didn’t pierce you with his nails. You’d be much for fun alive, after all. Although, this didn’t mean he didn’t have a bit of fun scaring you, occasionally giving a rough squeeze just to feel you flinch. He was thoroughly invested in tasting every inch of you, but that didn’t mean he’d stop toying with you at every opportunity. 

Despite his hold on you, you couldn’t stop yourself from writhing desperately in his hands. You weren’t trying to fight him, but the sensation of his tongue wriggling around so deep inside of you was certainly an odd one. Your cock was already throbbing between your legs and dripping precum onto your sheets. There was a nagging urge to reach down and give your needy member some much needed attention, but you couldn’t force yourself to release your painful grip on your blanket. It was the only thing providing you any sort of purchase. 

Jack was making quite the show of eating you out as well, moaning and slurping in a rather dramatic manner. He certainly wasn’t afraid of being noisy, though he made sure to stay quiet enough to listen to your encouraging noises. You sounded so desperate and needy, he just couldn’t get enough. You became especially loud when he began to slowly move his tongue in and out. He could even feel you squeeze around it, and it made his cock ache as he imagined what it would feel like to finally be inside of you. 

You shuddered when Jack finally retracted his tongue, his saliva completely soaking your hole and beginning to run down your legs, leaving you now feeling thoroughly stretched but unpleasantly empty. He only let you rest as long as it took for him to close and wipe his mouth before he was manhandling you once more, this time flipping you into your previous position on your back. It happened so fast that just the impact of your head on the pillow made you dizzy. 

When you looked up again Jack had leaned back a bit, looking down at his hands as he unbuckled his suspenders and soon after his pants. You followed his gaze just in time to see his own massive length spring free from his trousers. 

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It was bigger than anything you’d ever even imagined, and suddenly you felt embarrassingly inadequate. It too was striped, and shaped in such a way that you could easily tell it was a cock but definitely not a human one. He laid it over your stomach and you couldn’t help but gasp at the sheer size. It was thick and heavy too, throbbing eagerly against your skin. 

“W-Woah, wait, no way—“ You stuttered, attempting to crawl backwards and away from Jack. “That’s fucking giant, holy shit…You can’t— T-That won’t—“ 

“Shhhhh!” Jack interrupted as he roughly pulled you back to him, “Calm down, you whiny little thing. You’ll be fine.” 

You only whimpered in reply, watching with bated breath as he spread your legs wide to make room for his cock. He groaned with delight when his leaking tip brushed against your waiting hole.

“A-At least be careful…!” You pleaded in a last-ditch effort to earn yourself some mercy. 

“I make no promises.” Jack replied shortly, as if he was annoyed with your request. Maybe it was a bit cruel to be so careless, but surely you were being dramatic. Humans were meant to stretch, right? Surely you weren’t that fragile.

The noise that struggled out of your mouth when he forced himself into you was downright inhuman, followed by a string of curses and other equally nasty exclamations of the sort that could’ve barred you from getting you into heaven all on their own. Not that you were going either way at this point. 

When Jack had finally filled you as much as he could, only about two thirds of his cock had managed to disappear inside of you. That was still rather impressive, all things considered, and it’s not like he could complain. Your tight hole squeezed around him in all the right places. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” You repeated under your breath as you tried to adjust to Jack’s size, a borderline impossible task. 

“Foul mouthed one, aren’t you?” He scolded, grabbing your chin roughly. “Behave, or I’ll have to wash your mouth out.” 

He seemed to find that hilarious, laughing to himself as if he’d never heard a funnier joke in his life. 

“You…fuckin’ freak…” You spat back at him half-heartedly. It was hard to sound angry when you were trying to catch your breath after being filled to your limit. Jack feigned a gasp of disbelief at your lackluster insult. 

“Naughty, naughty thing you are! Someone simply must teach you to behave!” 

He squeezed you in his grip, testing his hold one last time before he began to pull back. You thought he’d stop halfway or at least start slow, but you were left speechless as he pulled out nearly all the way, leaving just the tip still nestled inside of you. You grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to brace yourself for what was sure to be a brutal impact.

“Brutal” was an understatement.

Shit, it felt like he fucking impaled you. You choked on what would’ve been a shriek when he pushed into you again, nails digging into his shoulder so hard it would’ve drawn blood if he had any. You felt unbearably full as his cock bullied its way back inside of you until it was laying heavy in your stomach. 

Jack let out a shuddering moan that dissolved into a breathy laugh as he watched you struggle to keep it together. Your mouth hanging open in a silent scream and eyes going wide with panic was exactly what he wanted to see. 

“Aww, did that hurt?” He asked, and honestly the condescending tone stung a bit. You only glared in reply. 

He pulled back again, slamming into you with even more force than the first time. You could feel the bed swaying beneath you from the sheer strength. You could only hope he didn’t wind up breaking it after he broke you. 

Jack was never one to take things slow, and as soon as he had gotten the hang of his thrusts he set a brutal pace. Each movement made your head spin with the impact. You really weren’t built to take something so massive, you shouldn’t have been able to, but you were taking it despite your body’s protests. You didn’t want to look down, unable to even stand the thought of seeing his gigantic cock disappear inside of you. 

Desperate, animalistic noises spilled through your gritted teeth and out of your mouth. Each thrust hit deeper than the last and there were times you swore he was literally rearranging your guts. Of course you would eventually adjust to Jack’s size and strength, but that didn’t shake the fear that this encounter could land you in the hospital. This fear would fade as he continued though, the overwhelming fullness and ache soon melting into a pleasure like you’d never felt before. You grasped at anything you could, whether it be your sheets or Jack’s sleeves or hair, hopelessly clawing at anything you could get your shaky hands on. 

Jack’s tongue laid limp out of his mouth as he panted, shamelessly rutting into you like a toy. You were nothing but a rag doll in his clutches for him to hold and use to his black heart’s content, and then some. While you couldn’t bring yourself to look down, he was more than happy to watch his cock thrust in and out of you. The wet squelching sounds made by each little movement were like music to his ears. 

He knew he must’ve been hitting deep when he noticed the bulge he was making in your stomach. 

Oh, you simply had to see this! 

He grabbed your hair roughly and forced you to look down. 

“Ahah! Do you see that? Do you?” He asked eagerly. He took your choked noise as a ‘yes.’ 

“You’re so small, ahah…I wonder how deep I can go before you break in two!” 

He tugged on your hair once more, this time pulling it back to expose your neck. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning as he dragged his tongue slowly up your neck before pulling you into a messy kiss. It only took one second of your surprise to allow him to slip his tongue into your mouth, and it quickly found its way down your throat. You were caught off guard and nearly choked, which only made Jack laugh against your lips. You could feel every little twitch or jerk it made as it explored your throat with no regard for your comfort. 

Jack didn’t pull away until he could tell you were struggling for air, retracting his tongue incredibly quickly. You were coughing and heaving to catch your breath, which he apparently found very amusing. It seemed to send him into a giggling fit every time he scared you half to death. 

Suddenly Jack came to an abrupt stop. You looked up at him in confusion, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was focused on something else. You felt yourself being jostled around as he shifted his position, sitting up on his knees and lifting you from the bed with one hand still around your waist and the other under your back. You were entirely supported by his hands now. 

What the hell is he thinking?!

You felt him retracting once more, but this time he wasn’t moving his hips. He was moving you. 

He showed no signs of struggle or even the slightest strain as he began to thrust into you again, your weight practically nothing to him. He was using you like a goddamn fleshlight, nothing more than a sleeve for his cock. 

And honestly…It wasn’t so bad. 

That seemed to be your breaking point, any sense of dignity you had before completely going out the window as you gave into him fully. If he was going to use you like a toy, you could at least put in the effort to be a good one. 

“F-Fuck! Ah—! Jack, m-more…!” You begged, and for a moment a look of surprise flashed across his face. The last thing he was expecting was to hear you pleading for him so shamelessly, but it was a welcome surprise. His signature grin returned quickly, stretching from one pointed ear to the other. 

“Oh, more he says?!” He replied, “More, more!  What happened to ‘wait, Jack!’ and ‘you can’t, Jack!’, huh? Sudden change of heart?” 

He was mocking your voice, degrading you so blatantly that he expected you to recoil at his nasty words, but instead you tightened around him. 

Oh…you liked that. 

He was more than happy to keep going. 

“What is it then, hm? Or have you already gone too stupid to answer me? Aha, you really do love this!” 

You nodded quickly in response, managing to push out a slurred reply that sounded vaguely like an agreement. 

“Fine then,” he conceded, “I can give you more…” 

And just when you thought he couldn’t possibly go any faster or shove in any deeper or make you cry out for him even more. 

He fucked you like his current life and the next depended on it, each thrust slamming the headboard into the wall so hard it left a mark. Your legs trembled as you began to get lost in the pleasure. It all felt like a blur, a wonderful blur only broken up by the realization that you were much closer to your orgasm than you realized.

“Jack, J-Jack—! I’m close, I…I’m…” You couldn’t even choke out a single sentence of warning. Jack was more than aware of what you were trying to tell him, but he was content to let you pathetically struggle for words. 

“Go on, why don’t you? If you need it so bad I won’t stop you.” 

His attempt at an impartial tone was greatly hindered by his obvious excitement, a result of how close he was to his own peak and how much he desired to see you cum. He wanted so badly to see you make a mess for him, to feel you spasm around him and know that he was the one who brought you to that. 

“Oh, please—!” You whined, “Please, please, please…” 

You had no idea what you were begging for. You didn’t have to, though, because it seems like your pleas worked anyways. Every muscle in your body tensed on instinct, your back arching up into Jack and one last high pitched cry managing to leave your throat as you came. The force of your orgasm hit you like a truck, more intense and prolonged than any other you’d had, helpfully hastened by Jack’s increasingly erratic thrusts. 

“Ahah, you squeezed so tight!” He gushed, “You feel so, so good…” 

Faster, faster, faster, he had to go faster. He was so close, so close. He had to fill you, he had to. He had to see his cum dripping out of you and to know that he’d filled you with all he had and you had to be filled. 

He went silent for a split second, and you knew what you were in for when his hips stuttered before going still, but you weren’t ready for the sheer amount of cum he pumped into you. He held you on his cock until he was completely done, continuing to make small ruts with his hips until he’d ridden out his orgasm to the end. There simply wasn’t room for it all inside of you, but even as it flowed out of you and down your legs and onto your sheets he continued to spill into you. You’d gone limp in his hands by the time he was done. 

You barely processed the feeling of being laid back down on your bed, but you definitely winced when Jack pulled out of you. Damn, you were already sore. Not to mention your forehead was drenched with a thick layer of sweat and your thighs were soaked with a multitude of bodily fluids that you were trying not to think about right now. 

You managed to crack an eye open when you heard Jack snickering. 

“Tired already? A shame. I had fun.” He said casually, as if the both of you had just returned from an outing and he hadn’t practically jumped you in your own home. Your only answer was an exhausted sigh. 

Jack cocked his head to the side as he stared down at you. Were you really so worn out already? He wasn’t tired at all! Then again, “tired” wasn’t really something he felt…

Humans are so strange. 

He laid down beside you and draped an arm over you. When he leaned in you expected him to lick you again, but instead he brought you into a kiss. An actual kiss, the first real gesture of affection he’d given you, even if it was rather brief. He pulled away to nestle his face into the crook of your neck, and you could feel his laughter against your skin. 

“You’re a funny one, do you know that? I hope I get to play with you a lot more…” 

Oh, fuck. 

He wasn’t leaving, was he?

mdni & reblog banners by cafekitsune

[gumycandyyy]

Heyo I'm here to request that Male Reader x Winter King you wanted-

Anyways, can you write for a male Reader that used to be Simon and Betty's friend before the crown and the Mushroom War, who randomly shows up in the Land of Ooo? As in, Simon thought that they had died a long time ago, alongside Betty, but the Reader had survived through some odd means and got reunited with him?

Lol, if that's too much, then I'm sorry. It could be a fic or Headcanons, whichever you prefer!

⠂"ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴏʟᴅ."⠐

⠂"ᴡᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ."⠐

AHJFHJGSKHA HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT SIMON?? I LOVE THIS WET CAT.

Winter King actually isn't this one, because I wanted to focus on Fionna and Cake ver. Simon

Male reader

Platonic/Romantic (I'm leaving it ambiguous, because I mean, c'mon. It's Simon.)

Type: Headcanons (With a drabble and oneshot mixed in)

Summary: An old friend shows up after a bunch of time-related shenanigans, and is finally ready to settle back down in Ooo. Though this sudden happening is quite a shock to Simon.

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

-You used to be an old family friend of Betty's, and met Simon through her.

-Y'all were really close, and they invited you over for dinner every other weekend.

-But one day, you just...

-Vanished.

-Everyone thought you were kidnapped, and Simon and Betty were heartbroken.

-However...

-Through some odd means, you were kept alive for a thousand years.

-It all started one weird day when you bought a little doodad from a garage sale.

-the next thing you knew, you were in a big yellow cube with a pink wall guy.

-Apparently the little thing you bought was an item from another universe, and it was janking up Ooo.

-Aaaaand technically you just committed a serious crime by purchasing the little thing.

-And whether intentional or not, you now had to go on trial for this little accident. You tried to explain what happened, but you were found guilty.

-You were sentenced to a thousand years in some donked up time jail.

-Apparently, you wouldn't age in there, and a thousand years would pass on Ooo before you were set free.

-It was the worst thing that could've ever happened to you.

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

-The time jail kept you from losing your sanity, and a thousand years later, you were released.

-You were teleported back to Ooo, which looked quite different than how you remembered it.

-It felt like an eternity since you've seen rolling green hills and a clear blue sky. An eternity since you've breathed familiar air.

-You heard something, about a hundred yards from you.

-You approached the loud noises to see some buff dude with a sick beard and robotic arm beating up some one-eyed monster.

-He punched the creature, and it was sent flying towards you.

-You ducked, and the dude noticed you.

"Ah, sorry man! Didn't see you there!"

-You assured him it was nothing.

"You're not from around here, are you?"

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

You shook your head, then blinked confusedly. Well, technically you were. It had just been 1000 years. You tried to get your story straight, then told the guy.

"Woah, so does that mean you're technically a time traveler?"

You shrugged. Time travel hadn't been proven yet, has it? You weren't sure. You asked the guy his name, so you didn't have to refer to him as just 'the guy.'

"Oh, yeah. Name's Finn. Good ol' Finn the H."

"The H.?"

"Y'know, the Human?"

But you were human too. With all due respect, you asked him about his strange surname.

"Oh, uh.. My real last name is Mertens, but I like 'the Human' better. It's only recently other humans have started living in Ooo. So I'm kinda seen as 'that one human' y'know?"

You nodded, trying to make sense of what he said. what had happened that caused humans to leave Ooo? How was that even possible?

The two of you talked for a short while, and you learned a little bit about Ooo. You were used to knowing a lot, but you barely even recognized this place.

"Oh, you're from the 20th century, right?"

You nodded.

"I've got a friend from then, maybe you'd like to meet him? He's one cool dude."

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

-You agreed politely, wondering if this 20th century man would help you adjust to life in whatever century this was. What century was this anyway? 30-something?

-Finn ended up taking you to a scrappy little bar filled with people that looked to be made out of candy.

"Anything you'd like to order?"

"Nothing for me, Dirt Beer Guy. Maybe he'd like one, but we're just waiting for-"

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

"Simon?"

You stared in disbelief at the face of your old friend, who looked at you with the same expression. He was carrying something under his arm, but he dropped it in shock.

"No way, you know him? That's awesome!"

Simon slowly walked up to you, as if afraid you'd disappear at any second. Tears welled up in the both of your eyes, and you had to suppress breaking down right there. It hadn't occurred to you that this 20th century man could've been Simon, but now that you were seeing him, you realized you subconsciously wished it would be him.

He spoke your name softly, not much more than a whisper, as if anything louder would cause reality to shatter, or one of you to wake up from a dream.

"You... You're really here, aren't you?"

You nodded softly, not daring to say a word. Tears spilled out of your eyes, and Finn looked slightly confused.

"Do you guys, uh.... Wanna step out for a minute?"

You agreed, still quietly, saying it would probably be better to not make a scene. Finn gave you a thumbs up and shooed you out, saying he'd wait for you when you got back inside.

You stepped out of the little bar with Simon, realizing it got dark out while you were inside.

"So..."

"How about we take a walk?"

You nodded, falling into step with Simon as you walked into a nice little forest. The small stream rushing by provided ambient noise.

"How are you here..?"

Simon asked, with an air of disbelief. He blinked, wiping his glasses and rubbing his eyes. As if you'd disappear once he'd open them. You explained what happened, and suddenly gasped.

"If you're here, that means Betty must be here too, right? Where is she?"

Simon sighed, bringing his arms up to hold himself.

"She's..."

"She's not."

You decided not to pry, but you couldn't help but notice the sinking feeling in your gut. She was one of your best friends, and she was gone. But she was Simon's fiancee. It must have hit him harder, whatever happened to her. You'd ask later, when the emotional turmoil between the two of you wasn't so fresh.

You walked in peaceful silence between the two of you, listening to the sounds of the stream, or chirping crickets.

You took that time to study Simon, how his appearance changed, and things that stayed the same.

Same fashion sense,

same goofy circle glasses,

even the same walk you remember.

There was a white streak in his hair now.

Wrinkles on his face.

Something about him just seemed so...

Sad.

"You've gotten old."

Simon smiled, though it seemed bitter.

"We both have."

"I missed you, Simon. Not a day went by that I didn't think of you, Betty, or any of our other friends."

Simon stopped walking, and you copied. He seemed as if he was about to cry again. To be honest, you were too. Talking about all of this while looking him in the face didn't fare well for your emotional state.

He took off his glasses, wiping at his eyes. Simon smiled bitterly through it though. He seemed to be so lonely. You wondered where he lived now.

". . ."

He wiped his eyes again, then looked straight at you with an unwavering gaze.

"You have no idea how much we missed you. Even years after you disappeared, we still looked. Even when the police failed, we still-"

He inhaled sharply, breath shaking. He turned his head away, as if ashamed of his emotions.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, trying to provide comfort. Simon suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pressing his face into your shoulder. You returned the embrace, holding onto him just as tightly.

Simon's breath shook, and you softly rubbed his back. You had no idea what he's gone through, and you were genuinely unsure whether you were helping or not.

"Simon..?"

His grip on you loosened, and he looked up at you.

You said nothing else, but you gently rested your forehead on his. He sniffed, then took a deep breath. Your hands fell to his waist, while his rested on your shoulders. Simon closed his eyes, cherishing this small bit of comfort.

After a few moments, Simon pulled away, bringing his fist up to his mouth and clearing his throat.

"W- well, today was certainly... Eventful."

You laughed softly, agreeing with his remark. The two of you walked back to the little bar, realizing you'd gotten farther from it than you thought you did.

Simon cleared his throat yet again, once you reached the outside of the bar.

"Yeah, Simon?"

He thought for a moment, then spoke.

". . .Thank you."

⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂⠂

Thanks for reading! I absolutely loved writing this, and Simon needs a hug.

Your complimentary artwork ^^

reblog for a beginner writer?

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Knightmare In Toronto

Chapter 1: First Meetings

Main Masterlist | Fic Masterlist | Next Chapter

You awoke to a scream.

Having just laid down for a midday nap after an arduous night shift, one can imagine the irritation you felt as you shot up from your place on the couch, grumbling groggily like an old person.

"I swear to fucking- Who the fuck are you?!"

That is, until you caught sight of the screamer: a tall, medievally-dressed man who looked like he had accidentally wandered in from the Renaissance Faire or escaped from the jousting pits of the Medieval Times restaurant. A large sword sheathed in a blue scabbard hung from his back, which was why you scrambled up, grabbed a pillow, and brandished it at this medieval home invader. "Answer me!"

To his credit, the man raised his hands and backed away, his expression shocked and apprehensive. Good. "I- Ma'am- Where am I?!"

"What does it look like?" You snarled. "This is my house, dipshit!"

"There's got to be some misunderstanding," as he stammered an explanation, you took inventory of his increasingly odd outfit. His shirt-... tunic(?) looked like he had taken four pieces of different colored fabric and sewn them together, then slapped some brown tights and jester boots on and called it a day. He was also really short, no more than five foot two if you were being generous. "The portal never drops us in houses, always clearings or streams, but that was only once-"

What the fuck?

"Are you on drugs?"

The man blinked, looking at you like you'd grown a second head. "I can assure you I'm not-"

"Then why are you in my house?" You asked cautiously, lowering your pillow just a smidge. He didn't seem the type to chop you up and bury your bones, but one could never be too careful.

"Well, there's this portal-"

"Drugs."

"-No. But it usually drops us off outside," you watched apprehensively as he ran a hand through his stick-straight blonde hair, which was long enough that the only thing holding it back was the thick green bandana around his head. "Would you be so kind as to tell me what region we're in?"

...Region? This guy really was weird, but at least he hadn't tried anything funny with that sword of his. "Uh... Toronto."

It was almost funny how quickly the guy's face changed from inquisitive to downright baffled. "Excuse me, but I don't think I heard you right?"

As weird as having an intellectual conversation about location with a home intruder in your living room was, you couldn't say you were surprised; trouble always seemed to find you one way or another. "We're in Toronto," nothing. You pressed further. "You know, Canada."

"...What?"

The silence spoke volumes as you stared each other down, though you eventaully broke it with an exhausted sigh. "Listen, man, I'm just trying to get some sleep. I'll get you a map and you don't steal my throw blankets, deal?"

Without waiting for a response, you hightailed it to the kitchen of your two-story rambler and retrieved a map from the far cupboard. Your on-and-off job at a tourist company came with many perks, some of which being: yearly adventure passes to the 12-and-under under-the-sea theme park, Royal Ontario Museum tickets during the busiest time in touring season, and a full crate of maps that would never see the light of day.

Until now, that is.

The strange man was still in your living room when you sauntered back in, though he had turned his attention to your television, a box of an appliance you pilfered from a garage sale a few years back. He was poking it with a distinct air of confusion, which only cemented your belief that he was on some type of drug--it was almost like he had teleported here from the fucking medieval era instead of breaking in through your-... well, you didn't actually know where or how he had broken in, but you sure as hell would find out after this conundrum. You held out the map. "Here," you watched as he unfurled the thing, looking no less baffled than he had a minute ago. "I assume you can read?"

The man nodded, all traces of his earlier panic gone. "Thank you for your help. I'm Four.

"(Y/n)," you responded, half-wondering who on earth would name their kid that.

"Say, you wouldn't be able to tell me where the hero of this land is?"

"The... hero?" You echoed. "You mean the prime minister-?"

You would have put more thought into the depths of this insanity, but there was a loud crash in the kitchen that overwrote all desire to discretely call an ambulance for the poor guy. Four was hot on your heels as you rushed to the kitchen, having drawn his sword. "Watch the fuck where you're putting that," you tried to say, but a new voice shocked you into silence.

"Oww, Legend!" In the middle of your pristine floor was another blonde stranger, though he seemed no older than twelve or thirteen. A light blue tunic with gray sleeves hung down nearly to his knees, clothed in gaudy orange tights. Sky blue eyes turned to you and Four. "Where am I?"

Behind you, Four re-sheathed his sword. You breathed a sigh of relief, but it was for naught when the teenager practically sprung up to vigorously shake your hand. "Hi! I'm L- er, Wind! What's your name?"

You told him, feeling quite numb at his point.

"Cool name! You're so tall, I think you might be taller than Twilight and T..." you were already beginning to block him out, looking to Four for answers.

"I don't suppose you know anything about this?"

"I told you; portal," said Four, like that solved everything.

"I think I'm on drugs," you muttered, thinking back to that new Chinese restaurant you tried last night, at the same time Wind chimed in: "You told them?"

Four opened his mouth to respond, but you cut him off. "Okay, I don't know who or why you are, but you need to leave. Now."

"Aww," Wind pouted. "But you haven't met everyone!"

Not that you'd say it to his face, but you didn't think you wanted to. "I'll be fine. And so will you. I gave your... friend a map."

"Oh, alright," said Wind, if not a bit dejected. One of your heartstrings twinged. "Thank you."

"Anytime," you turned to Four. "You'll be fine?"

"Should be," he sighed. "We've been in these kinds of situations before."

Okay, now you felt a bit bad. Sure, they had broken into your house and scared the living daylights out of you, but it wasn't like they had been rude. Despite the impossible circumstances, Four and Wind seemed like decent guys who ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Wait," two sets of eyes turned to you. "...It would be cruel to make you leave without a bite to eat."

Both Four and Wind grin, and it's almost uncanny how similar they look. You offer a small smile, snag a small paper bag from the counter, and make a b-line for the middle cupboard, where a few packs of trail mix can be found. You shove all five in the bag, then add a few protein bars and tangerines for good measure. "Y'all don't have any food allergies, right?"

"Nope," says Four, right as Wind chimes: "Nu-uh!"

Cute, you think before you can stop yourself. "Good, hope you like tangerines and a whole lot of peanuts."

The brown paper crinkles as you fold it down, using a teal paperclip to secure it for good measure. You proudly hand the bag to Wind, who smiles like he just got his dream birthday present. Four nods to you, smiling in a far calmer manner. "We'll be going now, thanks for everything."

"Stay safe," is what you said, or, rather, what you would have said if the air above you hadn't inexplicably reformed in the form of a heavy object dropping down on you, knocking you to the ground as Wind's screams rang out. As you lay, prone and aching, on the unwashed floor, your last thought before unconsciousness was that you really needed to get rid of those maps.

That's a wrap! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as I did writing it, so be sure to reboot or leave a comment if you liked it!

All LU characters belong to JoJo!

[halloweenbitch2764]

How You Meet

Slenderman

Growing up, you had always been told to avoid the woods at the local park. Your father told you stories of a monster that hunted children in them. A horrible creature lacking any facial features and being as tall as the trees himself. You always felt an almost pulling sensation when around the woods, trying to get you into them. Never did you set foot into them, though.

Being older, you realized it was just a scare tactic to keep you out of them. Your father had likely not wanted you to go and get hurt. It was easier to watch you on the playground. Still, your relationship with the forest was complicated. You weren't necessarily scared of them, but you were weary.

After a rough day of work, though, you decided to go for a walk. You had driven past the park but decided to double back. After parking, you sat and stared at the trees for a moment. You parked and got out, heading into the heart.

The walk started off well. The birds chirping and dirt beneath your feet helped you relax. You nearly forgot your fear of the forest. Nearly. Until you felt eyes on you. You looked around, and nobody was there. Of course not. You hadn't seen anybody.

Suddenly, a sharp stabbing started at your temples as a headache set in. Great. Just what you needed. Surely, it was a side effect of such an awful day. You failed to notice how silent the forest had fallen. You felt something wet on your lip and saw a couple of blood drops meet the dirt.

You reached up to attempt to stop it as your mind became more fuzzy and clouded. You looked around, wondering if there was a source when you saw it. The same tall, featureless creature that you thought your dad had made up.

It was at least 8 feet tall, thin, had a suit and red tie, and a snow white, featureless face. Your eyes widened with shock, and you stumbled back. You caught yourself and turned before booking it out of the forest. The blood gushed from your nose, and you focused on just getting out of there.

You got to your car and got into your car, high tailing it out of there. You were so focused that you didn't notice said figure watching you speed away.

BEN Drowned

A new video game, how exciting. Even if it was probably a bootleg copy. Better than nothing.

You were a college student, and in being one meant you couldn't really afford much of anything. You had brought your N64 and some games with you, but you wanted some new games. So you started finding garage and yard sales to try and find some new games.

The first couple you went to were busts. But then you found a copy of Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask. One of your favorite childhood games. The label had been taken off, and the name was written in Sharpie on the front. Still, something was better than nothing. The old man who sold it to you didn't seem like someone who would have such a game. Maybe it was his grandchilds? You didn't put too much thought into it and continued on your search for some other games.

When you got back to your dorm, you booted up your console and noticed the first save file was named BEN. 'Guess it was his grandsons.' You thought before picking the second save file.

You played the game and decided to do a cheat to avoid the moon crashing into Hyrule so quickly. Soon enough, things started to go awry. The Elegy of Emptiness was randomly summoning and following you around. You would glitch to the Skull Kid fight and get set on fire, and then die. Or it would just glitch to show Link dead on the ground by Skull Kid.

The Happy Mask Vendor was also just doing some weird stuff. Then, the game would refer to you as BEN. "What the fuck?" You mumbled. Sure, you figured the game was going to be a little fucked up. But this?

After another death, the screen went black, and "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT" flashed on the screen. You rubbed your temples as you tried to comprehend everything that was happening.

"BEN WANTS TO PLAY" flashed next and was the final straw. You turned the game off at the console and tried to turn on something to help creep you out less.

Eyeless Jack

Everything had started off relatively normally. Well, as normal as it could be considering a kidney eating maniac was ravaging the town you lived in.

It was on every news broadcast even when there were no new updates. You sighed and turned the television off as you got ready for bed. You checked your doors and windows to make sure they were locked, considering the situation at hand. Then you went to your room and got ready for sleep.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared about the killer. Your town had been relatively peaceful until he came. You closed your blinds and double-checked that you had your knife under your pillow. It was just a kitchen knife, but it helped ease your nerves. You dressed in your pajamas and crawled into bed.

You had had a pretty busy day, so you slipped away to sleep fairly fast.

You woke up to the pitch blackness of your room (save for a small nightlight by your bed and the door). Initially, you didn't understand why you woke up. Usually, you slept through the night without waking up.

Your body shifted, and you locked eyes with...a lack of eyes. The person above you had a mask with blacked out eye sockets and a tar like substance that cascaded down the mask. There wasn't a mouth on the mask, and the person was dressed in all black.

Before you could scream, a gloved hand pressed itself over your mouth to stop you. You slowly moved your hand to try and reach the knife under your pillow without alerting the person.

"Don't even think about it." A rough voice commanded and before you could say something he had jumped off of you and ran towards the window he came in from. You felt frozen, just staring at the doorway, before you got up and found which window he used to get in. You closed and locked it, adrenaline slowly subsiding.

Hoodie

You had just started at a new college, and the butterflies were in full effect. You had moved to a new area to go to the college because they had a great program for film. Which meant you didn't know anybody. You hoped you would make at least one.

You walked into the building and sat down in the class. You set your backpack beside the desk and pulled your notebook out. You started making small doodles in the margin of the very back page when you heard someone clear their voice beside you.

When you looked to the person, it was a man. He was fairly tall, had sandy dirty blonde hair, a mustache, and had a yellow hoodie on. "Hey, is this seat taken?" He asked and motioned to the seat next to you. "Oh! No, it's empty. You can take it." He smiled at you, and the butterflies worsened. He wasn't bad looking at all. "So, are you new here? I haven't seen you in these kinds of classes before." You nodded.

"Yeah, I just moved here for school. Don't really know anybody in the area yet." You confessed, and he gave a smile as he nodded. "Well, I can give you a tour of campus." He offered. You smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds nice." He nodded in response, "I'm Brian, by the way. And you are...?" "I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself. "Nice to meet cha." After some small chit chat, the teacher came in.

After the class was done, you both packed up and grabbed your bags before heading out. After a bit, he had shown you around the fairly small campus, and he smiled at you. "I gotta get to my next class, but we should hang out later. You can meet my friends if you want." You smiled brightly and nodded, and the two of you parted ways.

Masky

You had been struggling with your mental health as far back as you can remember. In and out of different therapists and then psychiatrists. Nobody seemed to know what was wrong with you, but they decided on schizophrenia. You wondered if you'd be able to get the prescriptions. Your pharmacy had been a bit weird with refills lately. You were walking in when you collided with someone. You fell back and landed on your butt.

You looked up and were met with a man who appeared to be late 20s or early 30s. He had dark brown hair, sideburns, and matching eyes. He smelled of cigarette smoke and was wearing an off-yellow jacket, black t-shirt, and jeans. He had initially seemed annoyed before he softened and offered you a hand.

You took it and stood up, brushing any debris off your rear end. "Hey, I'm really sorry about that. I wasn't even paying attention." He apologized, and you smiled. "It's alright. I should have been paying more attention anyway."

He chuckled and shrugged a bit. "Well, can I take you out to coffee sometime? As a way to apologize." Normally, you would deny such an offer, but he was pretty cute. "Oh sure." You felt the heat rush to your cheeks. You grabbed a piece of paper and pen and wrote your number down, handing it to him. "Oh, what's your name, by the way? I'm Y/N." You smiled. "I'm Tim."

"Well, nice to meet you, Tim. I gotta go to my appointment but I'll talk to you soon?" He nodded in agreement and the two of you parted ways.

Jeff The Killer

You had known Jeff before the incident, though you hadn't been close. You had gone to school with him. Rumors of what happened spread like wildfire across town. You felt bad for him, of course, but life moved on. From the rumors you heard, he wasn't even in town anymore.

Years passed, and you were in college, staying in your own apartment in a nearby town. You had forgotten about Jeff until a news segment came up while you were cooking dinner.

"Breaking news! An unidentified man has killed two people by stabbing so far in T/N. No witnesses were at the scenes, and his appearance is unknown. Lock your doors and windows and stay vigilant."

You watched the TV curiously as you stirred the pot on the stove. "That's not good." You mumbled. You left the pot to simmer while you went around and double-checked all your doors and windows were locked. You kept a knife under your pillow normally anyway (for safety reasons).

Your night continued normally, and the news segment drifted to the back of your mind. You cleaned up and got ready for bed as usual. You laid down, and soon enough, you drifted off.

You awoke suddenly, though, unsure why. It didn't take long to figure out you were being watched. A man stood beside your bed and watched you sleep. The dark made it hard to make out any specific features. You could only make out shaggy, dark hair, and his lips looked abnormally long.

Before anything could happen, he dashed out of the room and into your living room. You grabbed your knife and attempted to chase him, but he was gone when you got to your living room. The only evidence left was the open window and curtains blowing in the breeze.

Laughing Jack

Your sister/brother had a sudden emergency come up and needed you to watch your niece, Lily. You didn't mind watching her. In fact, she was a pretty sweet little girl, around 4 years old. She was shy around most people except for you and her immediate family.

Soon enough, your sister/brother dropped Lily off along with some clothes and stuffed animals. You started playing a board game with Lily after her mom/dad left. It started off normally. You let Lily keep winning, and suddenly, you noticed she was staring behind you.

You raised your eyebrow at her behavior and looked behind you. Of course, nothing was there. Not that you could see. Lily continued staring before she giggled. "Lily, what are you looking at?" You questioned.

She stopped staring to look at you and grinned. "My friend, Jack!" Ah, an imaginary friend. A soft smile came to your lips. "Yeah? What's Jack like?" You pressed curiously. "He's a super, really tall clown! He's black and white colored." She described him to you, and you nodded. "He gives me candy sometimes. Well, he tries to. But mommy/daddy takes it from me every time." She frowned slightly.

"Ah, is that right? Well, maybe I can spare some candy after dinner. How does that sound?" She grinned once again at the offer. Suddenly, she seemed to be paying attention to Jack.

She giggled and went back to playing the game with you. You brushed off the incident, figuring your sister/brother already knew about it, and continued with the game. Soon enough, she got bored and headed to the guest bedroom to play with her stuffed animals.

It didn't take long for her to start giggling, and you could tell she was talking to someone (though you couldn't tell what she was talking about). Soon, she walked out with her stuffed dog in her hand and her other hand in a loose fist. "Jack said I should give you this. He wants to thank you for giving me candy since he can't."

She opened her hand, and she had a small bar/bag of your favorite candy in it. You had no idea how she had gotten the candy. You had finished your candy off a couple of days earlier and were positive there wasn't any left. 'Maybe she had some already on her.' You rationalized and took it from her.

"Well, you tell Jack that I said thank you." She giggled and nodded before going back to the guest bedroom.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ideas for a scenario where the Reader meets the Creepypastas? Perhaps Laughing Jack, Slenderman, and Ben Drowned if that's okay with You?

Meeting Laughing Jack, Slenderman, and Ben! (platonic)

or as i like to say; reader being the main character and being spared by the silly monsters!! very heavy on the hcs in bens segment with the "hes stuck in electronic devices" thing i got going on with him eheheh platonic for the simple fact that this is a meeting post!

SLENDERMAN:

would it really be a meeting with slenderman if i didnt bring up his pages? i think i made a joke post somewhere where your vibe alone intrigued the entity enough not to krill you on the spot... and given how i sometimes write slenderman to be a curious creature, i think it would be fitting that we revisit that idea! though, i dont think you would properly meet on your first encounter; no i dont think you guys formally introduce yourselves to one another until a few days/weeks after the event, when you notice that hes taken to following you around and sticking to the side.. honestly in a weird way its endearing, youve gotten the attention of this old forest monster... creepy but cute! like a stray puppy but if the puppy was like ten feet tall and faceless! thanks to you looking into him on the trusty internet you already know who he is; but you decide to go talk to him anyways. probably go into his woods again after he initially lets you escape... kind of slowly cocks his head to the side when looking down at you and listening to you tell him your name... you kind of jump when you hear /his/ voice in your head telling you that he already knows your name.. friendship.. if you can even call it that, starts off as just him observing you and learning your routine for the first few weeks... youre going to have to make the first big moves in order to get that man to do more than watch

LAUGHING JACK:

whenever i think of scenarios for the reader meeting jack, it always circles back to one main idea. i personally think that jack is in some way tied to his box. you know, the box to his jack. that box.. i think its like a cursed object, like you get it and jack is going to start messing with you not long after. usually i imagine the reader purchasing him at a garage sale, and then the antics ensue... imagine waking up one night and seeing this giant clown leaning down to your face, his cone nose lightly poking the tip of your own nose... you shouldnt be blamed for being even just a little spooked! and.. well next thing you know you have this clown roommate. i think not freaking out is key in making sure you dont die? i mean lj thinks krilling is mostly a game thanks to isaac and usually the victim is well... scared, naturally.. perhaps being outwardly calm dismisses any idea that theres a game going on. shrugs, thats the only decent idea i have... now go domesticate that clown! make him your best friend! or your malewife if thats what you want! just know hes going to be attached to you by the hip; a friend who wont leave him! how fun!

BEN DROWNED:

sure i could say that you go to a garage sale and buy the DS ben is on but thats boring and jack already has the garage sale idea... so im going to be a little different here. i have a headcannon that about 80% of the time ben is tied to a device, but he does have the ability to hop around if theyre linked up in some way... i think a hard drive could work, how he got into one we dont know... but lets say you find a random one, and against your better judgement you decide to plug it into your computer... and oop...! you have a virus.. but no matter how hard you try to look for it you cant find anything... no one can find anything, but your computer is acting so.. weird... its not until it starts leaving notes that you think that someone is doing something... you think its some dark web stuff going on.. what could they want? you guys talk back and forth. at first its just you trying to figure out what the person wants, but over time it turns into just simple chatter... though theres still a tenseness. youre still convinced its someone remotely messing with your computer until that 20% of the time where ben isnt confined happens... needless to say youre absolutely shocked to find a random teenager in your room at your computer, getting water absolutely everywhere mind you! definitely going to need a minute to process whats going on; but honestly i think ben is less of a kriller and more of a troller, at least in my mind... does lead to you trying to find out what happened to him, and perhaps try to find a way for his soul to move on.. funky sibling dynamic, i think

[neonpaperlanterns]

Transformers prime story request.

The vehicons are the decepticons storm troopers, treated like nobodies and abused by their commanders every so often.

So... How about a story where one seeks to leave the decepticon life. Posing as a regular car at a car sale. This vehicon figures some time among Humans will be just what he needs. Having changed paint jobs and removing any trackers in him. He hopes to just... Enjoy "human watching", seeing what their lives are like.

He ends up bought by Jacks' mother sometime before she and her son knows about the transformers. And slowly ends up caring about her as he poses as her car. Enjoying the little things of his new life.

... And then her son brings home Arcee and the series ticks off from there.

A "normal" life

T-34B watched as humans mingled around him. Idle chatter filled the parking lot as different fleshy servos brushed along his alt-mode. Grumbled words of distaste and disinterest bounced around in his helm.

Had he picked a bad color? He thought the light blue was good but maybe he was wrong.

Did he look too worn down? He thought if he looked too new that he'd have less options but maybe he was wrong.

Was his model wrong? His research said that VW Beetles were decent cars but maybe he was wrong.

Should he have gone flashier? Sleeker? Been red? Maybe if he-

"How bout this one?" A voice interrupted his thoughts. There was a female human standing in front of his hood. Looking at him. Judging him. As subtly as he could he tried to push out his plating, air up his tires, and catch the sun just right so he looked as presentable as possible.

And it seemed to be working until a shorter and what seemed to be younger human butted in.

"Looks like an old man." The boy stated which was hurtful, he thinks. T-34B knew he wasn't the best or the brightest or even that standout but he didn't look that bad right?

Right?

"Don't be mean Jack I think that gives it character." T-34B was full of character, the lady gets it. Jack rolled his weird organic optics but shrugged.

Which T-34B would later learn was a seal of approval. Sort of.

Being driven through the streets of Jasper was weird. It felt wrong not to be in control of himself. He had to stifle every little desire to take the wheel or change the radio station.

He liked Earth's music but he wasn't a fan of the genre of 'Country'. It sounded too similar to him. As the songs blurred together into one noise it just reminded him of staring at the countless versions of his face. He did not like it. But he did not change it because cars didn't do that.

Pulling into what would be his new home he tried not to feel cramped inside the garage. He told himself that it was cozy and really far better than what he had back on the Nemesis. Because it was, anything was better than the Decepticon ship. Even a tiny garage and fleshy organics who weren't careful with sugary fluids were better than what he came from.

He'd have thousands of drinks spilled in his cab before he ever regretted leaving.

.

.

Life with the Darby's was simple. He learned the woman's name was June and that she was Jacks carrier or mom as the teen called her. He learned what a teenager was too.

He discovered that June was a nurse and that Earth's hospitals were not that different to the ones that once operated on Cybertron. At least from the outside looking in.

They didn't drive him many places. Mostly June's job, Jack's educational center, a place called WinCo Foods, and building with a bright neon sign that read Jasper Bowlarama. He did not know what a "Bowlarama" was but the Darby's always seemed happy after coming and he got to see lots of humans doing human things so everything was good

T-34B was staring to like when the unit he drove around were happy. He liked the talks he got to overhear. Like how Jack was doing in chemistry and that he was thinking of trying out for football. Which his mother didn't seem fond of and countered with going for band instead. He liked when June had a long shift and could barely drive, it gave him the chance to repay her by getting her home safely.

He liked that randomly June decided to give him a name. Apparently naming cars what just a thing humans did. She suggested Nancy because that had been the last vehicles name and the one before that so it just made sense.

T-34B dreaded being named after another.

But Jack interjected unknowing on his behalf. Said he didn't look like a Nancy.

He agreed.

Instead sighting that he looked more like a Buggy or Ozzy.

June picked Ozzy.

.

.

When Jack came back with a motorcycle June had lost her mind but gradually came around.

Ozzy had also lost his mind and was still currently losing it. For one he had to share his garage now. For two he felt like he was losing Jack. The teen didn't need him now because of that death machine. And for three and technically most important that was a FRAGGIN Autobot!

Oh Primus he was slagged. He was so slagged. His only saving grace was that the Bot hadn't realized he wasn't just a beetle and that almost immediately after June left Jack and the Bot began arguing.

He learned the Bot was Arcee. He's never encountered the Femme before but he's heard about her. Quick tempered and a 'shot first ask questions later' type. She's offlined hundreds of vehicons and now he was stuck sharing space with her.

Oh Ozzy was so slagged.

[pup-pee]

*presents u my dick grayson hcs like ur @ my garage sale* (dick hcs #1?)

♡ this

♡ hes a passenger princess(no this is cannon whoopsie)

♡ dick is like the first girl 2 b killed in a slaughter movie, but just as a 27-ish yr old adult man

♡ draws on a beauty mark in a different spot everytime & gaslights any1 who asks about it -"hey wasnt ur beauty mark under ur other eye?" -"idk i cant see my own face"

♡ hes always losing his hairties bc he keeps shooting them @ ppl -& rubberbands 4 that matter

♡ we dont talk about the skin grip example -it involves a lot of falling & a lot of crashing -if ykyk

♡ dick usually has a twix in his pocket, but in order 2 get it u have 2 guess if its a left or right twix -he also respectfully keeps the left twin in his left pocket & the right twix in the right pocket

♡ he never believed in santa claus but is terrified that watermelon will grow inside him if he swallows the seeds

♡ not rlly a hc but hes vry mcdonals girl toy coded

♡ says "fuck it we ball" b4 jumping in2 a drug ring

♡ the hardest hes laughed in a while was @ a bucket falling over

♡ "masculine but in a peacock way" quotes,,,,,

♡ makes hot chocolate in a pot -refuses 2 make it in a mug it HAS 2 b done on the stove or its not the same

♡ knows how to do his make-up but doesnt know the name of the product he uses -foundation? no thats just my face paint

♡ if u ask him 2 draw, hell say "i cant even draw a straight line!"

♡ dick; *pulls out sticker sheet* *puts mlp sticker some1s face*

♡ swallowed grapes/blue berries whole as a kid bc he didnt know better -didnt chew them*

♡ dicks fav turtle is leo

♡ fixates on tinkering w/his bits & bots

♡ wears crocs -"y do u wear crocs?" -dick; kicks in their direction so the croc hits theyre face

♡ eyeballs measurements(like cooking) -until it comes 2 clothes, then its ultra mega super duper whopper popper deluxe edition focus

♡ h8s grippy socks -the textures weird + attracts halys hair(as if all socks wouldnt but-) -prolly h8s socks in gen

♡ had 2 have snorted pixie stick as a kid -i am such a believer that every kid has done this so he will 2 -as a dare @ LEAST

♡ when hes angry he plops 1 of those sweet cough drops in his mouth 2 chew on just so that he doesnt go off -any hard candy works 2 -he needs 1 of those chewie chewables

♡ biting/chewing hcs bc it needs a separate category @ this point -keeps chewing on earbuds -h8s biting his nails actually -no pen or pencil or eraser is safe -loves biting but h8s when his food is 2 chewy/has 2 bite harder than usual -has more than 1nce caught himself about 2 chew on electrical wire -bites ppl he loves 2 show appreciation/love nom -(i will defend this goddamn hc till the day i die)

♡ pizza bagels -if ur confused, come see me after class

♡ titans have basically banned horror movies from movie nights bc dick would complain about the gore/physics/traps/mo/literally anything 'inaccurate' -"dick its just a movie" "U DONT UNDERSTAND."

♡ has the most social media followers out of batfam but only posts 1nce a month(sometimes not) -its just a picture of his half eaten cereal captioned "beautiful day today"

♡ titians walked in on him doing a backbend & thought some1 murdered him(not 4 vry long though cause oviously he was alive i just like the thought of some1 like roy when he 1st joined the team walking in & doing the most dramatic gasp ever)

♡ listen, i like contortionist dick -its fun & silly

♡ takes 'cringe' as a compliment

♡ "ur mature 4 ur age!" dick; "let me fix that real quick"

♡ hair grows vry quickly

♡ h8s functioning labels(i mean we all should but yk)

♡ skilled in bingo

♡ over buys treats 4 haly -& toys

♡ insane internal clock -kinda ties in; tells ppl specific times -"meet me @ 2;37 pm" as an example

♡ comic sans enjoyer(literally stole from ttg but shhhhhh)

♡ more invested in presidential gay love affairs than WW1 or 2

♡ hes about yay high

♡ hyperfixates on languages istg

i literally could go on 4ever bc my brain is that highway in germany but i wont i regret nothing

pt 2 <- if i make 1 lol

[teacookiesandpeace]

Recently, a garage sale was held in a mansion near your home You purchased a box with some old, previously used items, and among these items, a few unusual things were noticeable Some old paintings and some VHS tapes with sequences of images You decide to play them on your device to see what they were

Would you wish to continue?

?

That's strange, this sounds familiar...

?: Talking about the duck, here comes the cat wanting to ruin the party ?: ... What????

This character is called…. Sammy! Our dear young man is, of course, a butler! (Can't you see the funny suit?) He came from very, very far with the purpose of completing his mission, sent by his beloved company and madame!

This character is called…. Forgetless Orseus! A grumpy teenager gremlin but with a huge heart! ( I guess, I'm a narrator, not an employee of a geographical institute ) he loves to spend time floating around, and also complaining about his life!

Orseus: Interesting letter you got there Sam: Excuse me, sir, it is not very polite to approach someone in this manner Orseus: Oh, my bad if I ruined your dramatic introduction, it's not my fault if you like standing around like a tree near in the middle of a neighborhood Sam: I apologize, I hadn't noticed that. Am I intruding on your territory? Orseus: Yeah yeah, it's kind of like that, who the heck are you after all? Sam: Greetings, my dear forest goblin! My name is Sam, and I am a young butler, of course, it is a pleasure to meet you! Orseus: ... Orseus: First of all, your MOTHER is a damn goblin, I am a gremlin, they are different things, and yeah, nice to meet you too, I guess, ''Sammy boy'', my name is Unforgettable Orseus

Orseus: Hi, okay, we already know each other and all, get out of my garden Sammy: Oh, that's right… But… I'm a little lost here, I'm not from this region… Orseus: Yeah I noticed that, and by the way, what the heck are you? Sammy: ... A young butler, of course! :D Orseus: ...You're stupid, right? Ah, you know what, I'll just assume you're one of those humans that old folks tell the little gremlins to sleep Sammy: Actually... Oh, well, as you wish Orseus: Come, follow me, I'll get you out of here Sammy: Okay, mr Ozzy! Orseus: Please never call me that again

Sammy: Why are there so many people here? Are they sleeping? Orseus: What? Of course not, you psychopath, they're just statues Sammy: Ah, it makes more sense now, I apologize ... I know what statues are, but I wanted to be sure Orseus: Whatever, idiot Sammy: Why are there so many statues here?

Orseus: Sigh… Don't mind that, it's just my older sister's weird obsession with Greek guys who died hundreds of years ago Sammy: How intriguing! She seems to be a kind person Orseus: You're so naïve, I pity you Orseus: By the way... You're about to meet her Sammy: Huh? Orseus: Look up there

?: Greetings, gentlemen

This character's name is... Righteous Archemiel! A beautiful cowgirl who lives nearby and has recently entered adulthood, she has a great fascination for Greek mythology and it's works She would do anything to protect the artifacts she has obtained through many years of exploration ( and of course, her brother as well, but that is optional )

Archemiel: I didn't expect to see you so soon, my little brother, I wonder what brings you here?

Archemiel: Hello, my young cowboy, where are you from? Sammy: Ah! Not from very far, I came for work Archemiel: Seriously? You look so young, and you don't look like a gremlin, what would you be? Sammy: I am a young butler, miss, of course! ( OuO ) Orseus: Y'all must be kidding with me... Sammy: And it is also important to add, I am quite helpful, despite being specifically focused on my beloved boss, I would love to assist with- Orseus: Saaaam... Sammy: What is the matter, Ozzy? Orseus: C'mere for a second Orseus: Do you really want to get somewhere or not? Sammy: But of course I do, Mr. Ozzy, I'm waiting for my necessary updates Orseus: Sure, but if you keep talking to my sister like that, you'll only get a little chat and leave here with some cookies and a cup of coffee Orseus: Like... Just take a look at her

Sammy: She seems quite normal to me Orseus: Uuuuuugh....... Archemiel: Oz, I'm in front of you, I can still hear you, even if you speak softly Orseus: I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU Orseus: ( Sigh ) For the love of GOD please lets just go do something that actually gets us somewhere, please Archemiel: I am familiar with our region, but I believe Bykagori can explain it better Sammy: Bykagori? Orseus: AGH, here we go again... Archemiel: He is a friend of ours, he lives in the nearest hall with his student, they spend most of their time at that olive tree on a hill not far from here I think if we are quick enough, we will be able to talk to them and ask for information

Sammy: It seems to be someone humble, I would love to meet them Orseus: It seem to be boring, he is an annoying blind old man. Archemiel: Oz Orseus: WHAT? Archemiel: Don't be so harsh with Gori, you know that would hurt his feelings Orseus: I don't care! It's true Archemiel: Oz Orseus: WHAT Archemiel: Be respectful Orseus: RRAAAAAAAAAGH

( After a few more dialogues that aren't really worth mentioning, our heroes start the journey, like this, after a few steps and 5 temper tantruns from Orseus later... )

?: OIIII! OZ! MIE! HELLOOOOOO! ?: Hey guys Orseus: My God I hate climbing hills with all my might Archemiel: Hello my dear Kaciel, hello Gori

This character's name is... Courageous Kaciel Neborini! The young bird boy, who was blessed by fate (due to some mutations but that's beside the point) thus being born with wings! And along with the conditioning of his wise master, he will soon be the first gremlin to reach the clouds!

This character's name is... Perspicacious Bykagori! A gremlin who came from far away, to escape from his past and embrace the future, is a young adult who just turned 25, he is an admirer of nature and loves to give advice.

Bykagori: It's nice to see everyone again, what brings you here? Archemiel: Well, we would like to ask a few things, but first, tell me how have you guys been

Kaciel: Oi Seu Seu! Who's that chum over there?? Whoa, you're so small, see, I managed to get taller than you! Haha! Orseus: Ugh, okay, first of all, DON'T touch me Kaciel: Hehehehe, I'm sorry sorry Sammy: Greetings, friend! Kaciel: Ay! What's your name? Sammy: My name is Sam, but you see, I have just been baptized as Sammy Kaciel: Hehehe, what a funny name, I found it cool Sammy: Why, thank you Orseus: Did the young ladies finish meeting each other? Kaciel: Yes! Sammy: Ladies? I'm confused (。_。) Orseus: Yes, it was sarcasm Sammy: Sarcasm? Orseus: Yes, you dumb prick Kaciel: Hahahahaha Orseus: Shut up Sad Kaciel: :(

Sammy: So, Mr. Neborini, how long have you lived here? Kaciel: Ahh, not for too long, about 5 years old I think, my aunt told me to go live with Byka because here it is more spacious and better for me to train Orseus: Liar, Bykagori found you in the trash and took you home thinking you were a vulture baby because he felt sorry, he told me Kaciel: Shut uuup! Mie already said she doesn't like you to make jokes like that, I'll tell her you did it again Orseus: Whatever, crybaby Sammy: Ah, come on, gentlemen, there is no need to fight Kaciel: Yeah! Tell em, Sam sam! Sammy: Heheheheheh! Kaciel: :D Orseus: So yeah, going straight to the point, when are they going to notice that we are still here

Kaciel: Uhhh, well, about that... I'm not sure if I'll be able to answer much or correctly, cuz I'm usually more familiar with things related to flying and pilots, and that stuff, so I think you'd better ask Byka for help Orseus: Oh great Sammy: Excuse me, Mr Neborini, may you please call him for us? Kaciel: Oh, yeah, sure! Come on!

Kaciel: Byyykaaaaa! Bykagori: Hello Kaciel Kaciel: Bykaaaaaaaaaaaa! Bykagori: Kaciel, hi Kaciel: Hello! Bykagori: Hi Kaciel: We need help! Bykagori: What do you need Kaciel: Help! Bykagori: Of course, with what Kaciel: .... Bykagori: ... Kaciel: ... Bykagori: ... Kaciel: Help Orseus: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHVNFNFN Archemiel: Okay, let me rephrase Orseus: PLEASE Archemiel: ( Ahem... ) Archemiel: Well, our young foreigner here is lost, and we need information to help him find his way Do you have a map or any instructions? Bykagori: I know a lot about the geography of the empire, so I think I can help, do you know where he wants to go? Sammy: I need to see the empress, please

Bykagori: The Empress, you say Sammy: Yes, may I have your help, sir? Kaciel: Whoa Orseus: ...Weren't you homeless? Why the hell would you want to meet the princess Sammy: I'm not homeless (⊙_⊙)？ Orseus: ...My life was a lie Kaciel: Didn't you two meet literally 2 hours ago? Orseus: Y-Yeah we did, but I didn't- Bykagori: I can tell you which route you should take to get to the princess's castle, but it's going to be a bit far, and since it's a somewhat rural area, there's no train here, so I think you'll have to go on foot Kaciel: Ay Mie! What is a train? Archemiel: They're horses of steel, my dear Kaciel: Dayum! Orseus: ... Sammy: Well, I find it understandable, thank you very much, sir Bykagori: Of course, no problem, remember you have our address written down, please write to us if you need anything, you are welcome here, Sam, it was a pleasure to meet you Sammy: Of course, goodbye everyone, it was great talking with you! Kaciel: Bye Sammy! Please come visit us sometime :( Archemiel: Goodbye, my dear, go through the shadows Orseus: ....S-Sammy, wait, I'll- I'll go with you until we reach the road

Orseus: Hey, uh, Sammy… I wanted to talk... Sammy: What is the problem, Ozzy? Orseus: I was a bit, uh, shocked when you mentioned the empress and stuff Orseus: Oh, and also, it's not just because of that, and stuff, I don't want to seem selfish Sammy: That's fine, go ahead Orseus: Uh, in short, I wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable or something, I didn't want to make you feel bad or unwanted by us, it's just that it's my way of talking, I wasn't like, very angry or ...Really bothered, I think it's a mechanism that I developed over time to make conversations more interesting or something like that Orseus: Actually, I wanted to be your friend, I have trouble talking to others because uh, yeahh, my way of talking, and people think they assume I hate them or something, but, it's not true, I love everybody, my sister, Kaciel, Bykagori, and my other friends Orseus: I want to redeem myself, and wish you a good trip, thank you also for being really patient with me, I want to be your friend too, you are a good guy, Sammy

Sammy: I understand, I'm glad you think that way of me, Oz I also admire you, don't worry I know I didn't know you well, so I didn't hold any grudges You're funny Orseus: Thanks, Sammy... This... That makes me feel better, thanks man Sammy: Of course Sammy: Actually, I wanted to ask you something Sammy: As someone who is unfamiliar with this border, and you being a villager, I would like to ask you to come with me, as you know the place and the peop...- ...Ahem- Creatures... here much better, and with your friend's instructions, it will be much easier to accomplish my goal Sammy: Would you like to accompany me on this trip, Orseus?

Orseus: ...

Orseus: Pff... Yeah, hah, I'd actually like that...

Sammy: Great

You finish the first sequence, there is a small label written on the tape

| Bad End Neverland | Chapter 1 |

[rnoonsetter]

i really love libraries and i wish i could support them more but at the end of the day i'm a collector and there's nothing better to me than having the book on my shelf. if i'm going to work one morning and i want to read X or Y on breaks, i can grab it from my to read pile, or from where i know it'll already be. plus i can't remember anything to save my life so returning books? forget it.

plus the intimacy of books i love... i'm rereading my fav book at the moment and it's nice that the copy i have is the one i read when i was 10 years old. the copy with the bite marks that mighta been from my own dogs, or mighta been from somebody else's, the stains that could be wine or grape juice, the bit where i had to superglue the pages back together. and i just stopped by the used book store and look there's another copy! i have one that i can read without fear of damaging something really important to me, one that i can wreck as much as i want (until that one becomes important too....)

anyway i lost my true point here which was i love libraries! they were so important to me growing up! but i can't find much utility for them nowardays, esp when i can afford a 10-20 bucks at half price books every few weeks. and libraries can't cover everything i need, cos like, they don't have the new volume of chainsaw man! or there'll be a hold for new releases, or they wont have that really weird obscure book i used to love. and hunting through lending libraries and garage sales and used book stores until i do find that book is just a bit more rewarding than snagging it from a library shelf, or the librarian telling me that i need to go to another library. the hunt, and the physical aspect to ownership is part of why i love books so much.

[piers-official]

What's the coolest thing you've ever found in a second hand shop or garage sale?

Aw man, what haven't I found? thrift shops and garage sales always got real mint stuff, so I try t'visit 'em if I ever catch wind of one.

I've found old telecasters and acoustic instruments, drum machines and synthesizers, old records of various genres, weird and funny shirts that don't make any sense outta context, and just.... it's always a treasure hunt goin' to one'a these.

[robybyn]

Beware, this is a very, very, very scary story with a scary thing that will give you nightmares. If you haven't heard of it, it's the michael pikmin story. here it goes (beware)

I've always been a big pikmin fan, so imagine my surprise when i randomly came across a gamecube and pikmin 2 for aforementioned gamecube at a garage sale in Louisiana it was an immediate buy, my unwashed sweaty fingers swiftly reached for my pikmin themed wallet as i handed $42 to the garage sale man (a steal!!!). Obviously, I rushed home, plugged my cubed console into my wall, and tv then threw the blessed pikmin 2 into said gamecube, I sat my 32 year old ass onto the couch in my bitch mothers basement as i waited for pimkin 2 to load. and then there it was. the theme to pikmin 2 started playing... although it sounded a little slower than what i remembered... and a little lower in pitch, but I brushed it off as it was probably just me remembering it wrong, and I started playing the game!

Two hours into the game and one hour away after my stupid mother made me dinner with no fucking chicken nuggets (god I hate her) I came back and unpaused the game to see an untextured pikmin in the distance "that's weird" i thought, "probably just a bug tho" i said outloud to nobody but my olimar body pillow. I made olimar walk to the untextured pikmin so i could figure out what type it was and... upon closer inspection... the pikmins eyes was bleeding and looked voidesc. Seeing this creeped me, and I was about to walk away until the untextured pikmin said in a brash voice.

"I am evil pikmin. I do evil to all"

I gasped at the TV. what? "pikmin can't be evil" I thought but then the evil pikmin continued.

"I am evil pikmin, the true owner of this pikmin game is Billy Johnson. He died, and so now i must punish you for disturbing his resting place... MICHAEL"

Hearing the evil pikmin say my name made me piss myself in fear but not in a pathetic way, a cool way. I decided to unplug the gamecube and plug it back in, hoping it would fix everything... I was wrong.

the game loaded up, the theme music sounding even more ominous than before. when i tried to load the game, my save file was gone, so i punched the wall, prompting Mother to shout at me. i decided to start again, but this time, the evil pikmin was hiding in the cutscenes and around the levels, and when i turned Olimar around to face the camera... his eyes were red and bleeding!!!! I jumped out of my couch and evil pikmin showed up again. Olimar and evil pikmin got closer to the camera and started talking at the same time.

"MICHAEL YOU STOP PLAYING THIS PIKMIN RIGHT NOW"

Olimar shouting at me made me cry a little, but i stood my ground and shouted back at the tv "NO I'M PLAYING THIS GAME NO MATTER WHAT" inbaddass tone, oh how deeply I regret that! the evil pikmin shot olimar as I screamed "whyyyyyy" my bitch mother came down and started yelling until i heard another gunshot, the evil pikmin left the TV and killed her!!!! The evil pikmin was out of the TV and grabbed me by my receding hairline as he began to swing me over his head as if i was the pikmin i was so happily throwing around just an hour ago, he thew me into a wall knocking me unconscious, I thought i had died because he shot me too but months later I woke up from a coma after all the events. I was naive and thought the evil pikmin couldn't get me here... I was wrong. Dead wrong. The evil pikmin jumped from the ceiling like a licker from resident evil and started attacking my face beating me until i began to cry. finally, after my beating was over, the evil pikimin said

"One of these days Michael pikmin, I will kill you, I'm going to follow you around and enact my vengeance upon you every day until i get bored"

He let out an evil laugh. Michael pikimin? why did he call me that I thought until... I LOOKED DOWN AND MY BODY WAS SLOWLY TURNING INTO A PIKMIN I'M TYPING ALL OF THIS AS I TRANSFORM FURTHER INTO-

"pikmin"

Guys, I told you this story was terrifying... I hope you sleep well tonight.

[backbeaten]

(  BENJAMIN WADSWORTH  |  CIS-MAN  |  HE/HIM  |  TWENTY-TWO  )  — — —  it's  just  been  another  long  week  in  boring  -  ass  hawkins.  isn't  that  right,  GARETH EMERSON  ?  shit,  i  guess  they  can't  hear  me  over  LOVE BITES  by  JUDAS PRIEST  playing  through  the  headphones  of  their  walkman.  it  looks  like  they're  gonna  be  late  for  WORK  at  RADIO SHACK.  did  you  know  GRIZZ  has  been  in  hawkins  for  SEVENTEEN YEARS  ?  yeah,  their  family  and  friends  describe  them  as  CREATIVE,  but  i've  seen  them  be  SELF-DESTRUCTIVE  too  !  i  would  also  say  they  remind  me  of  neon gas station lights on wet asphalt, liquorice rolling papers, skinned knees, sweat running into your eyes during a drum solo, leaning tight into corners astride a motorbike, briefly defying gravity.  but  is  that  weird  ?  i  guess  nothing's  too  weird  for  this  little  town,  huh  ?  — — — 

pinterest

name : gareth jason emerson

nicknames : grizz, gar, gar-bear, grizzly-adams

age : twenty-two

pronouns : he/him

sexuality : bisexual

birthday : august 30th

birthplace : hawkins, indiana

family : jolene emerson (mother), graham emerson (father), whitney emerson (y. sister), archie emerson † (y. brother)

tattoos & piercings : septum and tongue pierced though mostly hides these unless he’s partying in indianapolis or chicago or with the freaks. inner bicep piece of a black dragon curled around a great sword, roman numerals of archie & whitney’s birthdays on his left wrist, a tiny banana between his pointer finger on the right hand for monkey, his dog. a few ugly stick and pokes and some newer ones that are way less ugly.  

aesthetics : room temperature pizza, spending half your pay check on polaroid film, a wave of good aftershave, headbanging until your neck feels like it’ll snap, letting your little sister paint your nails, engine oil in denim, love bites by judas priest playing faintly from a pair of headphones, dappled sunlight through forest leaves, sweat in your eyes, broken drumsticks, slinging your arm round the neck of your friend who can’t stop laughing, purple red bruises blooming like a valentines bouquet across your ribs, lovingly restoring old vinyl in the garage, the cold brush of a chain dangling from your lover’s neck against your racing pulse, smashing your fist into concrete until the knuckles split, the scent of old paper, cracked spines and well loved books.

never worn a matching pair of socks in his life, gareth liked garage sale paperbacks, pizza rolls and not much else. back in the day, the first five or six years of gareth’s miserable existence, the family had had a nice ranch style place by the woods but then his dad lost his job and they lost the house. from then on the family were usually too on top of one another, grizz always seeming to end up underfoot.

rock and roll’s the devil’s work, obviously. has soundproofed part of their small basement to practice drumming without getting yelled at.

[family death cw] though he never talks about it at all any more, about twelve years ago grizz’s five year old little brother drowned in lake tippecanoe when his dad briefly took his eyes off them. this kind of tore the family up. his mom left when grizz was fourteen, leaving a wad of cash in an envelope in his dresser and asking him to promise to be a ‘good boy’ until she came back. still waiting.

got a job the second he could during high school and has stayed employed ever since, though bounced around a fair bit.

[child abuse cw] his dad rarely goes a couple weeks without spiralling into a rage and physically attacking grizz which has been the same since his sophomore year, he’s just about to try and move out and find his own place after saving for a few years out of high school but he doesn’t want to leave his sixteen year old sister in the house.

used to be on the track team, a very fast runner.

held average grades at the start of high school, got some special attention from his english teacher who believed sincerely that he could do better if he just focused. managed to do pretty well by graduation but lost confidence in himself and his ability to adapt to living anywhere but hawkins because of his inability to pick a college. feels kind of cursed and stuck in roane county.

corroded coffin is his outlet, along with the ice hockey league he sometimes plays in a town over. has a notebook full of polaroids, quotes or lyric ideas scrawled on diner napkins, drive-in theatre tickets, the stamp from clubs in indianapolis and anything else you can think of, that is usually stuffed in the small of his back.

wears a lot of flannel and his extremely battered leather jacket basically every day of the year.

spends tooooons of time carefully painting the miniatures with tiny brushes for eddie’s d&d campaigns. usually plays a monk or a druid.

has a dog that is a mongrel of too many breeds to count named monkey, he has a neckerchief.

drums on every surface. all. the. time.

built a tree house and dugout in the middle of the forest for his friends from fifth to eighth grade, grizz’s dad is a carpenter by trade so he knows his way around.

makes a meaannnnn mac & cheese, is pretty much always down to clown.

pretty handy at fixing most types of motorbike, has been the only person to touch his own bike for about three years.

[funtimespringscare101]

@chaosverse-mainblog @misterah13 Here are the Final designs for my new Mario’s Madness inspired EXE OC, who’s name I still haven’t figured out…

Lore: A young programmer named Darrell Brown owned a copy of Super Mario World, this copy though was weird… He found it in a garage sale at a old friend’s house, had its display image flaking. His friend, Sam, said that she found it like that and that Darrell could take it with him. He started to mess around with the code and AI of the game, to learn how the game worked and what experiments he could do, he often tried these while playing as Princess Peach, but most times he would just glitch the game because of it. The Following days, he noticed Peach’s gaze was now focused on him and her smile was wider than usual, he shrugged it off as a glitch and kept reprogramming the AI and glitching the game. Over the following weeks, Peach’s sprites got more off with every glitch. Her colors faded and now a worried yellow toothed smile began to appear. A Week later, Darrell checked the game to play it, and instantly startled by the appearance of Peach facing the camera directly, just there staring, she had this black vein texture in her eyes. She pleaded Darrell to please stop, explaining that everything he is doing hurts. Darrell, of course, thinks this is a glitch too, and tries to fix it but not before Peach let’s out a loud scream that crashes the game and takes Darrell back to the menu, he is so scared by this that he doesn’t touch the console for a few days. After those few days, Darrell decides to speak to “Peach” again, so he turns on the console and plays the game normally as Mario, looking through every snook and cranny for the Princess, but with little to no luck. “Where is she?” He asked himself, and his answer? Peach’s hand coming out of the Screen and her crawling out into his living room, now a Glitchy being with her code having merged with that of a fire flower power up. With fiery hair, red eyes that leaked a black liquid and yellow vampire-like teeth, Peach stood in front of the man that has being unintentionally torturing her, she readied a flame to throw but Darnell got on his knees and pleaded for his life, mixed with countless apologies. Peach let him live, having realized that she probably traumatized him. She had one condition, that being that he would never mess with the code of her world. He agreed, over the next few days, he’d spent fixing the glitched game. Everything except for Peach(she wanted to stay glitched and Darrell didn’t want to…Upset her). Nowadays, Peach wanders through her game, protecting her Mushroom Kingdom. She may not be part of M’s soul collection, but she stays near them all just to piss off M.

[thedeluluverse]

This is my first foray into the world of drabbles but please gimme allll the feedback! 😊 I just couldn’t get this damn chair idea out of my head so hope y’all enjoy, let me know XD

Summary: You normally aren’t the type to go home with a handsome stranger from the club but today is different. Stressed with life and a long day at work, you let loose for once! But what will the morning after bring?

Pairing:  idol!Taehyung x cashier!f!reader.

Rating: PG13 ig lmao

Genre: idol!au, strangers to lovers!au, fluff,

Word Count: 1,787

Warnings: swearing, 2nd hand embarrassment, making out, some hair pulling, mentions of smutty night before, customer service job (yes that’s a warning lmao), sleepy pure bean Tae

You have been living on your own for about a year, and so far, so good until you started your new retail cashier job at a little-bit-of-everything store. It isn't the worst job ever, but it tends to attract all kinds of people in varying shades of odd, so it can be quite mentally draining in addition to all the Karens you encounter. Feeling more tired than usual, you don't even notice the tall, handsome customer walk in and head straight to the back clearance corner where the weird things you might find at a garage sale live.

Until the rest of your coworkers leave for the day, and you are alone because your dumbass manager doesn't know how to make a schedule. So, he has no other option to check out besides you. The sound of approaching shopping cart wheels alerts you to look professional. Still, you almost lose your balance once your eyes focus on this customer. Though his appearance is barely seen with a baggy hoody, baseball cap, and a mask, you can tell this is one handsome dude. The flustered sensation fades slightly once you see him place the only item in his buggy up on the counter to be scanned; a chair with more cake than most people that you threw in the back months ago. Gulping hard at the familiar object, you ask,

Y/N: *turning the chair around to find the tag to scan* “Wi..will this be all for you today, sir?"

CM: *raises an eyebrow with an amused look and chuckles* "Yeah, that's it, but you don't need to be so formal; it looks like I'm not much older than you."

Y/N: *you blush b/c omg he looked at me lmao* "Oh…okay… I didn't mean to offend you; just part of my job. *Bags up the item and places it back in the cart* "Have a nice day…well, what's your name Mr. not old."

CM: *has a fake annoyed look on his face* "Someone is quick-witted, I see… well, sadly for you, I'm not keen on revealing such personal things. Not like this, at least. See you around, Sassy." *Leaves store*

You sit back down on the bench with a hand on your heart beating out of your chest from the mere presence of that man, much less you had playful banter?? And did he just give you a nickname?? Taking a deep breath, you are energized by this interaction and start cleaning up the store so you can leave on time to meet your friends at a new club tonight. One other person comes in before closing, so you can leave work at 8 o'clock on the dot for once! Much as you try not to, you just can't help replaying that mysterious stranger in your head the whole drive home. Once you get home, you blast your upbeat boss bitch vibes playlist as you freshen up and get ready to head to the club.

Entering the club, you spot your friends, and instantly, the stresses of life fade away in the aesthetic lights and boppy music blaring through the stereo. It doesn't hurt that you feel fine as hell, either! After about 2 hours of songs and 2 shots, you sit down at the bar for a breather and some water as you were too busy for dinner, so a couple of shots don't necessarily agree with your stomach despite your attitude feeling fantastic. You close your eyes for a moment as you enjoy the crisp water going down your throat, feeling the cooling sensation all the way down. The relaxation doesn’t last long until you feel a presence beside you. This isn't odd since you are in a public space, but it has the energy of someone waiting to talk to you. Turning to your left and swiftly standing up to show you were stable to whoever was near you didn't work out according to plan. Your legs buckle as soon as you are upright, and you can feel your balance slipping from getting up too quickly as you aren't buzzed enough to be unstable. Thankfully, a solid but gentle pair of arms catch you before you hit the ground and slowly turn you to face him to ensure you are okay. Before any words are said, you recognize him as the customer from earlier today. Your eyes widen suddenly, and you are very nervous about how good you look because most men you've met in clubs have been scum. You start to dart away, but his honey-like voice pulls you back.

CM: "Hey, hey, it's okay; you're safe, alright? I was worried when you came to sit down, so I was on standby to protect you.

Y/N: *is confused* “But wh..why? You don't even know me; why do you care?" *slight pause* "Oohhh, right, you're a guy. I bet you are just trying to play the hero card to get in my pants."

CM: *frowns* “I am a guy, but everything else is wrong. Do you not recognize me from earlier? You are the same cashier, right? Sheesh, that'd be embarrassing if you weren't…."

Y/N: *astounded he recognized you* "Woah… I did, but I didn't think you'd remember me!"

CM: *chuckles and shyly rubs his neck* “I mean.. how could I not? Hard-working, funny, and beautiful, it'd be a crime to not commit you to memory."

Y/N: *bibi di nobody bo you’re a tomato* “I..well.I’m flattered.” *looks down, biting your lip, then head snaps back up with hands on your hips* "Wait… so can I know your name now?? You already know mine because of my stupid uniform name tag, so it's unfair."

CM: *tilts head in, 'You have a point'* "Fair enough, the name is Tae. Nice to formally meet you, y/n."

Y/N: *butterflies a flurry in your stomach, hearing him say your name* "Trust me…the pleasure is all mine. So I have to ask, do you really think I'm beautiful? Like, I know I look hot right now but earlier, different story. "

TAE: "I mean what I say and vice versa, gorgeous. I normally don't do this, but I've been going a little crazy since the store. Sooo, would you be okay if I.. again, it's fine if not, I just wanted to ask because..”

Before he can finish the sentence, your arms are thrown around his neck, engaging in a passionate kiss. You don't break away to breathe until about 10 minutes of your hands roaming all around each other’s bodies and through your hair without a care. Communicating wordlessly, you bolt out of there hand in hand to his car, where the makeout continues for another 5 minutes before you agree to take it to his place. You usually are never the type to have a one-night stand, but something just feels so right with this guy. You feel safe enough to let go of your worries and let something other than your vibrator give you release for once.

*TIME SKIP TO NEXT MORNING*

Waking up in a new place in a baggy Celine t-shirt, the events of last night slowly replay in your head as you goofily grin, feeling elated for the first time in a while. Looking over, you notice Tae is not in bed still. It shouldn't worry you, it's a hookup, after all, but you can tell he's not that type of guy. Curiosity getting the better of you, you wander out of the room, greeted by the cutest little fluffball of a Pomeranian. Squatting and letting it sniff you, it instantly jumps into your arms; walking into the living room, you meet Tae's shocked eyes.

TAE: "He let you pick him up? It normally takes several meetings for him to be comfortable with someone."

Y/N: *shrugs as you release the upper, excitedly panting for his dad* "I've always been good with animals, honestly. What's his name?"

TAE: *picks up the dog and kisses head* "Names Yeontan but I call him Tan for short."

You melt at all the cute you have witnessed in the last few minutes, then you stare off into space, looking shocked about something.

TAE: * waves hand in front of your face* “Hey, y/n, you okay?”

Y/N: *doesn’t blink* “You…you’re…The.. as in motherfucking Kim Taehyung Tae????? I thought you looked familiar, but I wasn't sure about you looking undercover as fuck in the store and then the low lighting at the club. Holy shit… tired brain went away and immediately put the puzzle together, and I… I need to sit..”

He guides you to the couch and rubs your back, making sure you are alright but also thinking your reaction was adorable and is honestly surprised his disguise was that good. Once he feels your breathing stabilize, he kisses your temple and pats your leg as he gets up to make the two of you breakfast. As he turns around to face the stove, he notices you look like you've seen a ghost.

Y/N: “Tha..that wasn’t a gift? You actually wanted that for your own house.. oh my god, what is life...”

TAE: *follows your gaze to the ass chair he bought yesterday and looks confused* "I mean, yeah, why wouldn't I? It's unique, and I liked it so voila! What's so odd about that? Plus, it's Jimin's designated seat when he comes over because, I mean…booty and harder for him to fall out of that one, haha."

Y/N: *shakes head, trying to process* "No, I get it just..ugh, I swore nobody would know this, but here we are… that used to be mine. So the fact that our tastes are this similarly odd and you own something that my ass used to be on is just a little overwhelming since you may or not be my ult bias since I was like 15… “ *blushes and twiddles fingers nervously*

TAE: "Everything you just said made me that much giddier, and I wasn't sure that was possible… I don't mean to weird you out, but I'd like to see you again. Outside of work or the club, maybe go get boba tea and a snack this weekend if you're free?"

Shocked that this is how your life is playing out but not questioning it too long, you agree. That date leads to another and another until 6 months later, you are officially dating and the happiest you've ever been. You do a lot for and with that man, but no way in hell are you ever using that chair again or getting over the fact that he actually bought your ass chair from you and proudly displays it. He's lucky he's adorable, but even still, you wouldn't want him any other way.

[imbadatparking]

[underwater / glade] i am writing an analysis of a war veteran's untrue true story and listening to always an angel, never a god singing in my ears, and you're not here, but i can feel you, and it's weird, how that works. people say this person is dead, but i can still feel them on television and i think what bullshit because i've never felt that before in my life. you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, and nothing can change that and it's okay, it's okay now, really, i promise, i know it wasn't your fault and we didn't really have that good of a relationship anyway, but i'm comparing humanity to the expectations of society's pressures and i'm feeling a weight on my chest that feels like an anvil and a glade is opening up in my chest and i'm drowning in my own misdeeds.

[decades ago] i did a project last year in biology where i had to make a family tree and i can't tell you how many question marks i had to put down. three generations, my teacher said, and i couldn't come up past the second. i don't know anything about you or about what was you or about the man you were married to, the man you had four kids with. it's sad, maybe, but ultimately inconsequential - what's it matter that i'm jewish when we don't embrace out heritage? what's it matter if decades ago one of my ancestors did the dirty with another one of my ancestors and now i'm 2% innuit when it has no real effect on my life? reading off results of an overpriced ancestry doesn't offer anything when i don't have the means to explore it. 

[estate sale / hiding place] when i was younger, me and my siblings played hide-and-seek in an old, broken, once home, ignoring my father telling us not to, climbing the cracked concrete steps, trailing my feet along the overgrown moss, breathing in the smell of familiarity. the dirty grit, the cockroaches that would skitter across the countertop, the mice you could listen to if you listened close enough, tiny conversations in squeaky voices. it all felt something akin to home. it reminds me of the places we used to live, the houses, apartments, garages, perpetually dirty and riddled with disease, and not just because of what was inside you. it reminds me of not what i lost, but of what could've been.

| k. - @nosebleedclub april prompts ii., ix., ix., xx., xxi.