#weird how thats always ignored
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jacqcrisis 2 years ago
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The people on the banpitbull subreddit are straight up conspiracy theorists, I swear to God.
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A) the statistics literally point out that the vast majority of pitbull type dogs will never have any issues and b) I'm sorry, the what lobby?
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'Am I, a layman and person inexperienced in these breeds, wrong? No, it is the dog experts who gain literally nothing from a historically cheap working class breed being adopted and bred who are wrong.'
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Yeah, it's weird how most people outside of your echo chamber disagree with you and how hard it is to find reliable info that agrees with you. Wonder why that is.
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Golly gee. It is a mystery why you people sound like hysterical conspiracy theorists. Might have something to do with being in a forum dedicated to blasting you with child mauling pictures and videos 24/7. That might be a contributing factor.
Theres no pit lobby, because there's no incentive for one to exist. There's no conspiracy for getting bully breeds into your home because they are notoriously cheap and easy to acquire breeds so who would benefit from that? 99% of these dogs are just fine with proper training (otherwise the bite and dog related death numbers would be WAY higher considering pitbull type dogs are the second most popular breed group in the US) and the tragedies that happen with them are little different from ones that happen with other breeds every. Fucking. Year.
If you consistently find that your purview is constantly coming against general consensus, expert opinion, and math, then it might be time to admit you need to re-evaluate your worldview and get out of the 'people getting mauled' subreddit.
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relaxxattack 4 months ago
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rereading the hivebent commentary makes me so annoyed that people are never really willing to analyze the actual effects that alternian culture clearly had on every troll, especially the highbloods. pretty much the only troll who ever actually gets taken in the context of her upbringing is vriska.
no one ever seems willing to think about the character arcs of trolls like equius and terezi, who are also bluebloods with extremely hypocritical and toxic understandings of the people around them-- equius is boiled down to a gross creep who is just like that naturally and definitely didn't get it from his society in any way, whilst terezi is scrubbed of virtually all her flaws and turned into a strange sort of based love interest character who is all about being gay and too cool to be tricked by any of the alternian propaganda. quadrants? classism? how silly! terezi would never believe in stupid shit like that. she's quirky! and GAY!
despite the fact that equius and terezi both obviously have much, much more to their personalities than that-- and the alternian empire is informing way more dangerous things about these kid's beliefs than "kiss annoying people".
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biblically-accurate-dca 6 months ago
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 馃尀馃寽 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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dykedvonte 2 months ago
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I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.
It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.
Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.
What did you do?
Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.
I told you.
They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.
Tragically that guilt is not their own.
#refining the au and the crew cant see the entity always but pretty much its always felt sort of like a mind over matter debacle#it is like the code scanner sections where only jimmy sees it but it can kinda interact with things to an extent like a force of negative#energy jimmy cant just outright tell them cause theyll just think he's insane but he can't ignore it cause he can't ignore the guilt anymor#anya and curly are its biggest targets as it is relatively easy for him to rectify the issues with Swansea and Daisuke vs the internalized#problems he has with Anya and Curly and its sort of about him no longer becoming that person he was in that future cause its the same#timeline but like divergence he was sent back with something awful and the story is less about forgiveness and more about repenting#hes still weird and an asshole he is being tormented but no one else gets seriously hurt so bittersweet#its like a fix-it but like imagine getting put into a perfect world with all the knowledge of ur fuck ups and now being haunted by the#guilt you will do the same shit again because you already have and having to prove you arent that person but then you also prove you didnt#ever have to be that person so you damn yourself even more like this doesn't end happy for Jimmy like ill tell you that but he'll actually#learn something so yeah thats somethting but everyone is still a little worse after this but can move on happily#the demons are tormenting each other by blaming them for Jimmy's actions invertedly cause while its not her fault anya in the reg timeline#def wondered if she stayed silent if this all wouldve happened even though it really isnt her fault and Curly knew deep down how bad Jimmy#was how bad he was to him and he likely told himself Jimmy would be the end of him and a lot of other but was so beaten down he couldnt go#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing#pe au#thinking of calling it pestilent equine au? that sound good? we like P.E is just the short funny name for it?
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icewindandboringhorror 8 months ago
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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butch-bakugo 26 days ago
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Its not a shock to me that most "transandrophobia doesn't exist" people are trans women, mostly white trans women. They have a very specific image of what a trans man looks like and it's only two categories: the hyper fem, tits out, make up, twink trans man who doesn't pass nor try to and the hyper masculine, bearded, t'd up, all the surgeries, big buff trans man who you could never clock. They genuinely think every "transandrophobia truther" is lieing about not getting privileges they don't fucking have.
They genuinely believe every trans man passes and therefore we get male privilege and they get backed up by trans men who do pass and think a cis man making rape jokes with them and asking about their lift set is male privilege. Lemme shatter the illusion because as much as you like to scream about some wide spread privilege that doesn't exist, most trans people, in general, do not pass. This is especially true for trans men due to the hyperfocus society puts on feminine features. I have never met a fully passing trans man and I've met over a hundred personally irl. never. I know they exist but the fact y'all think we, en masse, get male privilege is factually just fucking wrong.
Trans men are not more acceptable or palatable to transphobes. Trans men are not more likely to pass. Trans men in mass do not get male privilege by virtue of our lack of passing and our medical history. Most trans men are still affected by the gender pay gap and thus can not afford surgeries.
You do not acknowledge the existence of non-passing trans men, only uphold the voices of trans men who pass and have the money for surgeries (a small percentage) then wonder why trans men laugh in your face when you make claims about male privilege we do not experience.
We are more likely to be conversionally raped than you. We are more like to be forcibly detransioned than you. We are more likely to experience domestic violence than you. We are more likely to experience hate crimes than you.
Trans men's hyper visibility in online spaces dose not transfer to real life visibility. You are more likely to see white cis gay men and white trans women in any media or ever mentioned than even white cis lesbians or white trans men. Your rhetoric is the origin of the "theyfab" myth. Our issues are invisible to you cause you do not care about other trans people besides yourself and other transfems. Everyone and their trans mother knows about transmysogny and the issues you personally face yet you expect trans men to be silent about their issues and feel like they should be silent because they are men. Trans men are more likely to experience litterally all forms of violence over trans women in every single avenue of violence that exists; religious, sexual, domestic, familial, etc. We are more likely to be stopped and abused before we socially transtion than anyone else due to hyper vigilance of society over afabs. You can scream all you'd like about how we only bring up our sex/the gender we are often raised as when it's convenient but you always ignore those often traumatizing experiences when it's convenient for you.
Many Transmascs and trans men had a traumatizing upbringing because society views us as "bad women" and " bad women" get treated so much worse and by many more angles than "bad men" specifically because we were forcibly assigned as women. You take advantage of a lack of nuance in the community by trying to group us with cis men specifically because you group yourself with cis women. News flash, neither of us and our experiences should be grouped with ANY cis group because we do not have cisgendered experiences.
I seriously think you think you are the most oppressed group in the trans community and you are not, not by a long shot. You are not the most oppressed group in the transgender community and that's a statistical fact. The most oppressed group, by far, are two spirits and cultural genders by virtue of them being inherently indigenous and indigenous people being the most oppressed race of people in the community regardless of the location they are indigenous to.
You are literally taking advantage of the things that were drilled into transmascs at a young age to be seen and not heard and to be quiet and let others talk, that they are lesser than everyone. Everyday there's a new story in the community of a cis man or a trans woman getting a trans man/masc pregnant to hurt them or force them off t or to detransion, this is not a fucking accident. You are not men, no one ever said you were, but you sure love to silence them like they do.
I'm not quiet, you do not intimately know our issues the same way we do not intimately know yours, You don't get to tell us what we do and don't experience and the fact you'd rather cry wolf and suspiciously call us "bitches" than hear us out, tells me everything i need to know. That alt right to trans woman pipeline you said you escaped? Yeah, you didn't. Ur just an alt right trans woman, Try Again.
#levi speaks#people who arnt transmasc stop trying to claim you know transmasc experiences enough to say they are bs challenge#i see transandrophobia daily and i see their issues never addressed#theres a huge issue involving transmascs being raped to make them pregnant and stop their transition#its mostly cis men but ive seen multiple abusive transfems do it too and they dont talk about it#its like its a dirtt word like they cant acknowledge their own but expect us to apologize daily for the existence of kevin garrah#a trans man that wasnt remotely blair white Caitlyn jenner-ing up the trans community and disappeared 7 fucking years ago#curious why you guys keep haeping on our one guy when every week theres a new white transfem on my fyp#talking about the woke cult and how shes the only good one#then 3 weeks later apologizing cause the leopard ate her face#im not blind i notice a pattern#its always white trans women and cis gay men acting the fucking fool and i dont think thats an accident#i dont think theres no common thread#i still think they are women i also think they are still white and still think they have some masculine invincibility to criticism#then get shocked they arnt treated as darling princesses by the racists and transphobes they try to appeal to#i do think people that claim transandrophobia isnt real are doing so from a place of mysogny#wether thats internalized or not#they always sound like fucking reddit incels#just listening to the language they use when they talk about transmascs and cis women only tells me their fave podcaster is joe rogan#just bleeds pewdiepie asmongold ben shapiro nonsense#and then cry and point at you like every other white woman with her tears when you point it out 馃槀#i do not think most transfems are part of this issue#i do think they have general ignorance about issues facing the transmasc community but i think thats a two way issue#most transmascs dont know all the issues taking place in the transfem community#im specifically talking about the transfems who make hating transmascs and cis women a full time job#and claim they only feel safe around cis men#like ok you just outed urself as a run of the mill mysognist drawing weird lines but ok#before someone acts the fool im both#im intersex with transmasc and transfem experiences and identify as both#its ridiculous that i get slapped with an anti-self label cause i asked a transfem to care about the other half of the fucking trans communi
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pyrriax 6 months ago
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hi guys. freak beast
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bmpmp3 1 month ago
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i think its really fitting that the "this shit........ is so ass :'') " anime girl reaction image is from oshi no ko because that is also what my expression was like the whole time while reading the entire last third of the story
#theres like what. one or two chapters left? we are almost free. we are almost free#i hope they make the adaptations better. its such a weird ass manga#like it started solid albeit full of hashtag anime weirdness so a bit of a hard sell#and then like for a while there it was just like a genuinely good showbiz drama. the best arc was the stageplay arc we know this#although one thing about it that ive always noticed. for a manga with a premise about like. isekai idol revenge thriller. its like#so uninterested in idols? like while the showbiz entertainment industry drama was pretty great at times it like. ignored the idol side#like it did a tiny bit of stuff here and there but by the second half it had completely forgotten about it LOL#im curious if the anime and live drama will expand that more. the anime has lots of like tie in idol songs ive noticed#MY THOUGHTS on how the finale's been going: the character motivations are genuinely incomprehensible to me now like#the antagonists motivations and character and everything got so deflated i couldnt track it anymore#BUT i do think its bold to kill off ur protag like that. was it done well? not really no LOL#BUT it was bold. i think my eyes were so glazed over around then that such a last minute turn like that... it kinda ruled <3#i think theres been leaks about the last chapter or two? which i havent seen yet. but yeah rn thats where my opinion is#still love the music from the anime tho even tho i never watched it. also again even though the character motivations got like#so muddled and deflated by the end that i dont even know what the eye star symbolism is going for anymore -#I STILL think those eye stars rule thats a really great 00s shoujo manga esque character design choice#edit: TURNS OUT THE LAST CHAPTER WAS OUT i read it.... :') this shit. truly was ass
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kennythetrampvamp 1 year ago
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Everytime my cis friends are like "ugh men" "hating men lol" etc etc. I have to ahhhh I have to grrrrrrrr I never know quite what to say though
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hollowfairybabybat 2 months ago
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one thing about me is if i find it funny i will fully commit to a bit idc
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rouge-the-bat 4 months ago
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the sonic 3 movie trailer looks so cool but honestly i am beyond disappointed that there was no sign of rouge. how can they have an sa2 adaptation with shadow but not rouge. theyre not to be separated. she needs to be there at the end getting his inhibitor ring and thinking about something better than jewels (shadow) for once. i get that its a different canon and events will be different and yadda yadda but come the fuck on man. gun is literally a part of the movies too. shes a gun agent. how could they have not put her in there. its like the movies are just like fuck all of the female sonic characters who caaaares about them
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waterfallofspace 1 year ago
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Little mostly positive waterfall ramble/rant under the cut~ (warning, I do swear a lil haha~ and feel free to ignore ofc!~)
Finally got the dumb panic-induced false confidence nerve to tell one of my only two in-person (well, one province over, but USED to be in person till earlier this year) friends about The Kink. I've told a handful of internet friends before, but never an actual real life friend I might have to see in person one day.
He actually took it really well, my other irl friend (of 15 years, his girlfriend, known him only about 3-4) would not want to know, we just don't have that type of relationship, she doesn't have that comfort level, but me and him have always been able to have deep and honest talks~
I was. Honestly scared out of my fucking mind. We were in call, but I typed the messsage and then IMMEDIATELY deafened until he read it, but once I got back we had a good talk, he asked a few questions, we made a few jokes, and overall the mood didn't change at all.
I'm honestly always so worried people will think I'm getting off to them sn--zing every time... or anyone else who does... which, ofc, just isn't how it works, but he didn't even consider that. (and made a few joking-yet-honest comments that even if I did get off to him snzing, he wouldn't honestly care. Which knowing him, is completely true~)
Anyways, this is a bit of a random/personal thing to post, but I've been so deeply ashamed of this part of me for so long, and then only recently started feeling more comfortable, and I've been toying/struggling with the idea of telling him for almost a year now, so to finally do it, and get such a good response... honestly it just feels so good. I don't think anything's gonna change in our dynamic, or get weird in any way, and that fills me with so much relief. (and yes, he knows I have a tumblr, but he promised not to search for it thank GOD)
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dandyshucks 11 months ago
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fellas.... the art is not going well tonight, I'm ready to start gnawing on my sketchbook
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WOE to the artist who tries to draw shit above their skill level AUGH
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charrfie 2 years ago
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am on desktop so pretend i'm sending you the flame emoji ok. let's talk spamton
HI BASIL your flame emoji is super awesome
But okay. Let's start with the obvious one being that the other addisons are actually related to spamton. That's really highly contested and I know nothing concerning their specific kind of dynamic is confirmed but admittedly yeah it does make me feel really weird seeing people ship them together. Though ig this isn't really an unpopular opinion considering the fandom is pretty much split with it?
On that note I also have to admit I REALLY don't like a lot of spamton ships (with canon characters that is- self shipping is great obviously, it's sweet). It's one of those things where I totally see pretty much all the most common pairings with him happening at some point in his past (like jevil, swatch, queen- admittedly all unhealthy in some way), but I would never see it as something that I would. Yknow. Intentionally ship. I'd rather just acknowledge it as a likely thing of spamton鈥檚 history. From everything I've seen, it feels like people need to mischaracterize spamton or the other character he's shipped with in order to actually ship them in a way that even slightly resembles a healthy and long lasting relationship. I mean at the end of the day I'm not going to stop anybody, do what makes you happy if it doesnt hurt anybody, but it's very interesting to see that mischaracterization happen once you're aware of it being so common.
Last one! I've been thinking about this one a lot lately but I honestly do not think that spamton is nearly as narcissistic as people make him out to be. Yeah sure he's shown to be super self centered and excessively self praising in the moment you see him in canon but I highly suspect it's a coping mechanism rather than anything else. In a world where no one loves you or wants anything to do with you, you're the only person who CAN show yourself that love. It comes from a desperate place. Now do I think big shot spamton is narcissistic as fuck???? UH. YEAH. DUH. He's blinded by fame and constantly praised by others, ofc he's going to behave like that. But I genuinely do believe that current spamton, when positioned in a better, more stable environment, would absolutely chill the fuck out and might even border on insecure. It's a part of his character I feel is often taken at face value rather than looking at the context that has cultivated that personality trait of his. However, even in a more stable environment, he's likely not to let that facade falter very often out of fear.
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29121996 26 days ago
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ill b so real w myself: fuck.
#the fact that i dont even fucking wany anything to do w him. n i o ly wanna hear from him jus so i can tell him to fuck off#bc . i cant Do this to myaeld anymors like . okay ! u royally fucked up and then Kept Fucking Up.#its not like . you just Shattered me into piecws n then . went mia. no ur constantly in and out kf my fucking side ciew#and its Exhaystibg. all of this is exhaustibg.#n im looming forewars to one week where i sont . have to Deal With Him Ay All. like .#hes blcoked n STAYINY blockes bc FUCK YOUUU lmao.#n apart od it is the return of Libra ill b real.#but its not kike i had to force that saitch. it was kinda natyrally occuring#i had always Known that librs would be tue first man that would like Crack smtg in me that would . allow me to consider dating again#n he has . n i do wanna see what this is abt .#or morr so: what this has to do w me and my Issues .#bc i can laugh at astrology all i want but thus Fucker does nothing vut make me deel Awful n face my own weird paranoia#and all his Major planets are literally my 8/ 12h#gucker has a libra n aquarius stellium. go figure.#anyway idc abt the rest of tgis im ignoring astrolofy tgis time around bur this sits in the back of my head#but . anyway yea i literally . as much i as i can admit i am attracred to him.#i hate that i get talkative when im anxious ! bc i cannot b in the same room as him sometimes#will go out for a smoke at the bar n . due to regulations the area Sucks And Is Small#n i just . Oanic whenever hes around fot some reason#n then theres this weird Explorative and Invasive Thing i feel when he fucking looks ay me.#oh dude ive backed this up u cannoy . deny me this .#i am not insane abt this . there is smth in his stare on me that is deer in headlights essentially. and its just so Haunting sometimes bc .#WHAT. WHAT do u WANT !#and its fucked up when im at work.#cannot . fucking.#i hate everything how do my friends have more . of an interest#wait. oh hold the FUCK .#nah ok thats my own doing in Some Fuckign Way what am i doing wrong#okay anyway whatever lol#anyway .i wanna cry at the fact that i literally . am going to b in brisbane for a week n liyerally dont havr to see him
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bmpmp3 8 months ago
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 馃様馃様馃様
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