#weiner takes all

[libraford]

Park Cleanup Pet Peeves

I'll be starting my seasonal gig at Parks and Rec in a couple months and I've got a couple things I wanna say. I know that this will probably not reach the people who need to hear it, but if ONE LESS person leaves the parks a mess, I will be That Much Happier.

-You're not supposed to smoke, drink, or have sex in public parks but I know that people will anyway. But if you are going to do those things, please dispose of the evidence in the trash cans. A human has to pick these things up.

-Dog poop goes in a bag. Bag goes in the trash can.

-The little wax paper liners in the women's room? See you're supposed to put your pad/tampon in that wax paper bag, take the bag out of the bin, and then dispose of it in the actual trash can. Don't feel bad, no one told me either. Also no one told the dudes I work with. But this reduces direct exposure to bodily fluids, especially as the summer gets on and it gets hot in those bathrooms.

-On that subject! The little bins that they go in next to the toilet? Don't stick trash in there. Don't put diapers in there. Also don't put beer cans crushed in such a specific way that I slice my hand on them as I try to jimmy it out of there. Literally, that bin is too small for most things. They are meant specifically for those brown bags. Please for the love of god, throw things in the trash can.

-As for the urinals, please no solids. Most commonly gum and chewed tobacco, but you can use your imagination.

-If you're doing a photo shoot or an event with confetti, please use a paper confetti instead of a plastic one- its easier to get rid of.

-If you're doing a pizza party, we'd rather you stack the pizza boxes in a pile next to the trash can instead of trying to fit them in the trash. Because then we can just throw the trash bag over the top and tie it instead of trying to fish it out. This kind of goes for any big trash- if it won't fit in the trash can easily, don't try.

-Please don't call cops on people sleeping in the parks if they're not bothering anyone. Even if they've been sleeping there all day. Dude's just trying to chill.

-Destruction of the toilets will result in the indefinite locking of the restrooms. You ruined them and now everyone at the softball tournament can blame you for it.

-Parks people are not the police. We are maintenance workers who are not trained to handle most emergencies and the most we can do in any situation is report to the proper department. Please don't look to us for answers if someone is starting a fight.

-Also please don't spit on us for driving on the path. We're permitted to. Its essential for us to drive on the path to do our job.

-please don't abandon animals at the park. Rehome them properly. I spent a whole week trying to catch a rooster last summer.

-look, I get it- 'oh no, your pretty building has writing on it!' Grafitti is so edgy. We get it. But it means Jacob has to sand it off now so that the kids at the birthday party don't see a giant drawing of a weiner. Acts of rebellion that create more work for the working class are not revolutionary.

-please do not set fire to the Tiny Free Library. Why did you do that? That's mean.

-please do not feed bread to ducks and geese. Corn, birdseed, lettuce- those are better for them. If you want to reduce tge amount of goose poop in the parks, shop feeding them bread.

-also do not anger tge geese. They remember what its like to be dinosaurs.

I'll have more later, probably, once the season wears on.

[bettys-redwinesupernova]

ALL MINE

rafe cameron x fem!reader

SUMMARY: rafe has to give his bratty gf an attitude adjustment. maybe a little teasing should work?

based on this ask !! i hope this is what you asked for anon, this didn’t turn out exactly how i anticipated, but i am still a little rusty with writing smut and i keep getting second-hand embarrassment writing it, HELP-😭 i also wrote in second person perspective for a change? i’m not too sure how to feel about it, and i may rewrite this in the future but for now, i hope you enjoy <3

WARNINGS: smut (18+ MDNI!), oral (fem!receiving), cursing, use of ‘good girl,’ manhandling, unprotected p in v (wrap that weiner guys🙄), dom!rafe, brat!reader, fingering, teasing, orgasm denial, slight overstimulation(?). (lmk if i missed anything!)

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

SECOND PERSON +

The clock ticks relentlessly on the wall, each second dragging you further into the simmering tension that has been brewing all day. You glance at Rafe, his dark eyes fixed on you with a mix of frustration and something else—something deeper, hotter, that makes your stomach twist. He leans back in his chair, one arm draped casually over the backrest, his shirt tauntingly tight across his broad chest. His jaw is set, but there's a glint in his eye that tells you he's not just annoyed—he's enjoying this.

"You've been pushing it all damn day," he says, his voice low and smooth, like honey laced with something sharp. "I let it slide because I thought you'd come around. But no, here you are. Being a fucking brat."

You shift uncomfortably on the couch, trying to ignore the way his words make your skin prickle. "I didn't ask for a lecture," you mutter, crossing your arms defensively. But even as the words leave your mouth, you know you're digging yourself deeper into whatever he's got planned.

Rafe's lips curl into a half-smile, slow and calculated. "Oh, baby," he says, his tone dripping with mock sweetness. "This isn't a lecture. This is a lesson. And trust me, you're going to learn tonight."

Your heart skips a beat, and you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks. Something about the way he says it, the way he's looking at you like he owns you, sends a shiver down your spine. You open your mouth to protest, but he cuts you off before you can say anything.

"Stand up," he commands, his voice firm but still carrying that dangerous edge.

You hesitate, torn between defiance and the pull of him. But before you can make up your mind, his hand shoots out, gripping your wrist tightly enough to make you gasp. He pulls you to your feet, his touch sending sparks racing through your veins.

"That wasn't a suggestion," he growls, his face inches from yours. "You've been acting out all day, and now you're going to deal with the consequences."

You swallow hard, feeling suddenly very small under his intense gaze. "What are you going to do?" you whisper, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay strong.

Rafe smirks, his free hand trailing lazily down your arm until it comes to rest on your hip. "Let's start with this," he says, his fingers curling around the waistband of your jeans. Without warning, he yanks them down, along with your underwear, leaving you exposed and vulnerable in nothing but your shirt.

Your breath catches in your throat as he steps back, taking in the sight of you standing there, completely bare except for the thin fabric of your top. He doesn't waste any time. Before you can react, he's kneeling in front of you, his hands cupping your ass roughly as his mouth descends on your core.

Oh God. The sensation of his tongue flicking against your clit is electric, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. You grip the back of his head, your nails digging into his scalp as he works you with expert precision. His tongue is relentless, exploring every inch of you, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

But just as you think you might actually lose it, he stops. Abruptly. Your body jerks forward in protest, but he holds you steady, his hands firm on your hips.

"No," he says simply, his voice calm but assertive. "Not yet."

You groan in frustration, your legs trembling from the effort of staying upright. "Rafe, please," you beg, your voice cracking. "I need... I need—"

"You need to apologise," he interrupts, standing up and stepping back to look at you. "For being such a brat today. For treating me like shit when I was just trying to take care of you. So, tell me, sweetheart. Are you sorry?"

His eyes burn into yours, and you can feel the pressure building inside you, threatening to explode. You nod quickly, desperate to get him to finish what he started. "Yes, I'm sorry," you gasp. "I'm so sorry, Rafey. Please, just let me—"

"Not good enough," he says, cutting you off again. "Say it again, but this time, mean it."

You close your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts, but the way he's looking at you, the way his presence dominates the room, makes it nearly impossible. "I'm sorry," you repeat, louder this time. "I'm really sorry, Rafey. I didn't mean to be so... so difficult. Please, just let me—"

He kneels down again, his hands sliding up your thighs until they reach your waist. "Okay," he murmurs, his voice low and intimate. "But first, you need to be reminded of who you belong to."

Your whole body goes rigid, but before you can respond, he's already moving. His fingers press firmly against your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that send shivers of anticipation through you. He knows exactly how to touch you, exactly how to drive you wild without letting you go over the edge.

Rafe's hands wrap around your hips, steadying you as his lips press against your trembling core once again. The sensation is overwhelming, a burst of warmth that sends shivers through your body. His tongue moves with precision, flicking across your sensitive flesh, and you gasp, your legs threatening to give out completely.

"You're mine," he murmurs against you, his voice low and possessive. "All mine."

His words send a thrill through you, making your breath hitch. You clutch at his shoulders, desperate for something to hold onto as the pleasure builds like a storm inside you. His mouth is relentless, his tongue devouring you with an intensity that leaves no room for thought, only sensation.

"Rafe," you moan, your voice shaky and pleading. "Please... I need—"

He pulls back slightly, looking up at you with those dark, intense eyes. "You'll get what you need, love," he says, his tone dripping with dominance. "But, you have to prove it to me."

Your heart pounds in your chest as you stare down at him, your mind spinning. Prove what? You don't have to ask; you already know. He wants you to show him how much you want this, how much you want him. And god, you do. You've never wanted anything more.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your pulse. "I'm sorry for acting out. I didn't mean to... I just..."

He tilts his head, waiting for you to finish, his gaze unwavering.

"I just needed you," you admit finally, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I needed to feel you close, to know you were still here."

His expression softens slightly, but there's still an edge of command in his eyes. "Good girl," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your thigh. "Now, you’re gonna’ keep being a good girl and take what I give you."

Before you can process his words, he stands, lifting you effortlessly and carrying you to the bed. He sets you down gently, his hands lingering on your waist as he towers over you, his shadow casting a cool darkness over your heated skin.

"Spread your legs," he commands, his voice firm but not unkind.

You obey without hesitation, your body craving his touch like a drug. He kneels between your thighs, his broad chest rising and falling with each deep breath as he tugs his shorts and boxers down to his thighs. His gaze locks onto yours, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Tell me you're ready," he says, his voice low and demanding.

"I'm ready," you breathe, your voice trembling with anticipation. "Please, Rafe... Fuck, I'm ready."

His lips curl into a smirk, and he leans down, his hands sliding beneath your thighs to lift them higher. His fingers trail along the inside of your legs, setting off sparks of desire with every touch. You squirm beneath him, desperate for more, for everything.

And then, finally, he pushes into you.

The sensation is overwhelming, a perfect blend of pain and pleasure that sends a cry tearing from your throat. He pauses, giving you a moment to adjust to his thick length, his eyes locked onto yours as he fills you completely.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he groans, his voice raw with desire. "So tight... so fucking perfect."

You cling to him, your nails digging into his shoulders as he begins to move, slow and deliberate at first, then gradually picking up speed. Each thrust is precise, hitting all the right spots, driving you closer and closer to the edge.

"Rafe," you gasp, your voice breaking as the pleasure builds. "God, Rafe, I can't—"

"Can't what?" he asks, his voice rough with control. "Say it, love."

"I can't hold on," you cry out, your body arching against him as waves of ecstasy crash over you. "I can't take it anymore. Please, Rafe, let me come. Please!"

He smirks, his grip tightening on your hips as he drives into you harder, faster. "That's my girl," he murmurs, his voice filled with pride. "Let it go. Let me feel you fall apart."

And then, with one final, powerful thrust from Rafe, you do.

The orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, crashing over you with relentless force. Your body shudders beneath him, your cries echoing through the room as release consumes you entirely. Rafe doesn't stop, doesn't slow down, pushing you further until you're nothing but a trembling, incoherent mess beneath him.

Finally, when you've had enough, when you feel like you can't possibly take another second, he withdraws, collapsing beside you on the bed. He pulls you into his arms, cradling you against his chest as your breathing slowly returns to normal.

"Shh," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "It's okay, baby. You did so good for me."

You nod weakly against him, too exhausted to speak. His hand strokes your hair soothingly, his touch gentle and loving after the fierce passion of moments before. For now, there's only contentment, a quiet peace that settles over you both.

"I love you," you whisper after a while, your voice small but sincere.

He chuckles softly, tightening his embrace. "I love you too, brat. But next time, maybe think twice before testing me."

You snort, nuzzling closer to him. "Maybe."

He laughs, the sound warm and full of affection. "Rest now," he says, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "We'll talk about it properly tomorrow."

(dividers by @kodaswrld !)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

not incredibly proud of this, but i hope this was what you wanted anon !! new writing style (second person perspective) which was something new, but i actually didn’t mind it? as always, hearts and reblogs are always appreciated!! please comment your thoughts <3

requests are staying open for ONE more day then i’m closing them, so if you want to request get one in ASAP!!

[a-simple-imagine]

Perfectly Pathetic

synopsis: when you take an interest in the new girl, regina takes an interest in you

pairing: regina george x plastics!fem!reader

words: 4.6k+

A/N - in the nicest of ways, please DO NOT read this if you don't want to read about toxic relationships. you have been warned. I don't want a repeat of last time. also we need more fics where regina is actually mean so

WARNINGS - swearing, alcohol use, general toxicity, toxic relationships and bullying/vague reference to weight

Buy me a ko-fi

the clash of plastic trays and idle chatter brought alive the fragile student body of North Shore High School. on the outside this may seem like any other lunch room but inside it was a carefully crafted game of chess. every move was calculated. each person has their place and if you stray too far you're at risk. you're sat next to Gretchen Weiners. known for big hair and keeping secrets, she knows everything about everyone. opposite her is Karen Shetty. she... tries her best and looks adorable doing it. a ray of sunshine if you get to know her. and before you sits the most beautiful woman you have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Regina George. effortlessly perfect but needlessly cruel. she was the most popular person in school and one of your best friends.

perfectly manicured nails stab into the skin of your cheek as your head is yanked in her direction. razor-sharp eyes stare back. "are you even listening?" the answer was no but you didn't want to say that. "what are you staring at?"

a flash of blonde as she looks behind her. you push against her grip to look too. across the room sat Janis 'imi'ike and Damian Hubbard. you hardly ever spoke to them but you were lab partners with Damian. he was funny. today, however, there was a new addition with strawberry blonde hair, a blue checkered shirt and brown pants. you knew everyone at this school to some degree. a curse of popularity. but you had never seen her before. "seems they've got themselves a new friend"

"who cares," her nails dig a little deeper drawing a pained expression as she pulls your head back to face her. She holds your gaze for a moment. a silent challenge. before fingertips glide across your cheek and she goes back to leading the conversation across the table. you pick at the food on the tray with a fork but you can't help but be intrigued. North Shore was boring and predictable. a direct result of being under Regina's control. but this girl was new and you couldn't help but be drawn to that. to the unknown. to the possibility. three pairs of eyes as you push up from the table and march across the room.

"I haven't seen you around here before." was all you could think to say as you approached the end of the table. Janis and Damian share a look before settling on... confusion. You weren't ever particularly mean to others but you were guilty by association. people mess with you. they mess with Regina.

"oh," by the look on her face, she already knew who you were or at the very least your friends. "it's my first day."

"Where did you transfer from?"

"uh... Kenya," she seems unsure. you put it down to nerves.

"you sure about that?" a curious raise of your brow. "'cause you don't sound-"

"we're leaving" stated firmly as three girls breeze past. the blonde leads the way. the other two are just a step behind.

"so what made you move all the way here from Kenya?"

"my mom got a new job."

"couldn't find one-"

the sound of your name echoes through the room bringing the world to a stop. a weird silence settles over the room. "come. now." growled through gritted teeth and paired with snapping fingers. you were being summoned like a naughty dog ignoring their owner. a sigh as all eyes fall to you. waiting to see what you'd do but make no mistake, they already knew the answer.

"I'll see you around." a flash of a smile before you scamper after Regina.

"so your ears do work." is all the girl says as she shoves you through the door. you bite back any comment because that was how this worked. you may be top of the food chain to everyone else but Regina led the pack.

as the final bell for the day rings, you're shoving things in your locker when you spot the new girl. she seems to be struggling to even open it. you watch her for a moment. a smirk settling. this was another chance to talk and this time Regina couldn't demand your presence. "need some help?" it seemed to take her by surprise as a handful of papers drifted to the floor. a small chuckle, you reach down to collect her work and hand it back. "how's your first day going?"

she shrugs, taking the papers. "it's alright."

"anyone giving you any trouble?" you ask, falling to lean against the lockers. people around here were not nice and took every chance to show it. some more than others. She shakes her head. "you sure? if anyone does anything, I can sort them out." you give her a knowing look and she offers a sort of amused smile. "so you do know how to smile, it's cute. are you gonna tell me your name or am I gonna have to guess?"

"it's cady. Cady heron."

"well, cady heron. the trick to these," you tap her locker door with your knuckle. "is to push in and pull up before trying to open it. annoying, I know but they're old." you watch her try again and this time it swings open. "see."

"Thanks." you linger as they shove some of their stuff inside. you notice a few stray stickers on the locker opposite.

"no problem." you push up from the metal. "I can show you all types of tricks to get through this hellscape if you want?" she shuts her locker and you both start walking towards the exit. "number one tip, avoid Regina."

"Isn't she your friend?"

"yeah," you nod. "that's why I said it. She can be... a lot. surely Janis told you that."

Cady looks at you for a long moment. "something like that." you let out a chuckle. Janis probably told her what a massive bitch Regina was. they had a less than favourable history.

"I should go. I'll see you around Cady Heron." as you both go your separate ways, you can't help but glance at her as she walks away.

having a study period just before lunch was both an absolutely ridiculous idea and the best thing to happen to your schedule. it basically guaranteed you didn't do any work whatsoever and felt more like a two-hour lunch period. seems you shared it with the new girl because she was sitting at a table scribbling in a book alongside Janis who was doing her normal embroidery or whatever.

"if it isn't Cady Heron," you comment, taking a seat on the bench. her face brightens at the sight.

"where's the rest of the coven?" Janis asks, not even bothering to look up from her work. "wait- don't tell me, a house fell on them."

"you're so funny Janis," an exaggerated sarcastic laugh.

"I think I can hear children singing... ding... dong the witch-"

"So Cady, how are you enjoying north shore?" you interrupt loudly and the 'song' trails off.

"It's fine."

"you don't talk much huh?"

her mouth opens but falls silent as Gretchen approaches the end of the table. she shoots you a less than favourable look. your brow furrows a little.

"Can I talk to you," pitch a little too high to say no.

"Sure," a shrug. you look at her for a long moment waiting for her to continue.

"in private," Gretchen urges. with a roll of your eyes, you stand up. flashing a smile at Cady, Gretchen grabs your hand and drags you away before you can say anything.

"what are you doing?" whisper yelled at you.

"I was just talking." god this girl was dramatic. you take your usual spot. she sits opposite.

"to the art freaks?"

"dude, it's fine."

"no it's not." she urges quickly, shaking her head "You know how Regina gets."

"Regina isn't here?" and she wouldn't be until lunch. only you and Gretchen share this free period. usually, you spend it listening to her gossip about people. she could not keep a secret to save her life at least not when it came to anyone outside of you and your friends; even then it's dicey. fun for you though.

"All I'm saying is you need to be careful,"

"don't worry. I was only interested in the new girl."

"that's worse," you just roll your eyes. "Regina doesn't like her."

"Regina doesn't even know her," you argue. "none of us do. she's been here like a week."

Gretchen thinks the idea of even wanting to talk to Cady is blasphemy. that it's better to avoid her but you think she's overreacting. Cady hadn't established herself at this school yet. right now she is with Janis but tomorrow who knows? she could be cool. it's a matter of perspective.

a pretty perfect smile does little to distract from playful eyes as you approach her jeep. the blonde is in the driver's seat. one hand rested over the steering wheel. the other typing something on her phone. She had sent a message telling you to hurry up but on arrival, neither Karen nor Gretchen were even here yet. you toss your bag in the back, climbing into your usual spot behind the driver's seat. Karen is usually next to you. "sit in the front, weirdo," she comments. you don't bother with a comeback, just moving to the front passenger seat.

"Where are the others?" you ask, glancing at her. the soft glow of the afternoon sun kissed her skin beautifully. black shades hang on the end of her nose. She really was something to be admired. Regina shrugs and then tosses her phone down. the car roars to life and you're starting down the road before you can think any more about it. it's pretty silent at first. the sound of the radio filling the space. the lack of your two other friends acting as a buffer was sitting weirdly. this wasn't your first time alone with Regina but she's been so grumpy lately. whatever you say feels like an invitation.

"so you like the new girl?" asked casually as she came to an abrupt stop at a red light. you just forward, the seatbelt digging into your neck. it drags up a quick cough but that could also be from surprise. other than that first interaction where she'd summoned you from across the room, you had never spoken to Cady when she was around. Gretchen may be dramatic but she probably wasn't wrong and you really didn't feel like risking it.

"Sorry?" feign confusion was... a choice but it seemed like the better option here.

"you like the new girl," repeated calmly; her eyes drift to you as yours move towards the traffic light. was this the longest red light in history? "right?"

now it's your turn to shrug. you find Cady intriguing but you're not entirely sure if it's interested in the way Regina is implying or just because you were so bored of the every day. "she's cool." a scoff as she pulls away continuing down the road. "you've hardly spoken to her."

"don't need to," Regina didn't miss a beat. Cady definitely didn't fit into what she'd consider cool but then again, neither had you. not entirely anyway and now you're here. you hang out with the most popular people in school. went to the hottest parties. you were currently being driven around by the Regina George. you never understood why or maybe you did and just refused to accept it was that simple. you know what everyone else says. that it's because of the attention you show her. you wouldn't necessarily say they're wrong but everyone gave her attention. She did always say there was something special about you. "I thought you at least had standards."

the rest of the car ride is silent as you think over what she said and Regina keeps to herself. the music is the only thing, keeping you sane until you pull up at the George residence. you always forget just how big her house is until you're there. As you walk inside, her mum appears abruptly startling you a little.

"hey, ms. George."

"hey girls," she singsonged. "how was school?"

"fine," Regina shoots back.

"well if you need anything? a drink? some snacks? advice? I'm here,"

"I'd actually love an iced-"

"we're good," growled as she grabbed your wrist hauling you up the stairs. "don't bother us." a confused look but she didn't let go until you were firmly inside her bedroom. door slammed shut. the blonde tosses her bag down.

"you should really be nicer to your mom, she adores you," you say idly taking a seat on the end of her bed, placing your bag down.

"you should shut up because it's none of your fucking business."

jesus christ. you kinda regret the decision to come over. "I just wanted an iced tea. maybe a little snack."

"god knows you don't need it," Regina comments. wow. okay. she was in a mood.

"what's up with you?"

"I'm fine," she responds. "you're just being so fucking annoying recently."

"I haven't done anything?" you've not been acting any differently so you have no clue what she's talking about.

"just absolutely drooling over the new girl. it's embarrassing." she declares, taking a seat on the bed.

"I..." you stop yourself because you're more confused than anything else. "we've spoken like once."

"liar" she responds. "I know you've been talking all the time," fucking Gretchen. "do you think she's pretty?"

"Cady?" Regina nods. you shrug. "I guess."

"prettier than me?" her head tilts. you can't tell if she was jealous or fishing for compliments; neither was her style. so it was probably a trap.

"no." you wanna say she's being dramatic but that wouldn't end well. She doesn't say anything, hardly even reacts. just cold eyes. Is she expecting you to say more? "of course not." you're waiting for the ball to drop. for her to make a snide comment or something. anything was better than nothing. but it just never comes. she takes out her phone and starts typing. you fall back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. you both just sit in the quiet. you're worried about saying anything that'll lead to more insults. god knows what she is doing on her phone.

"you're so pathetic." Regina eventually says. you'd take offence if you weren't used to it; basically a term of endearment at this point. you can hear her moving but don't bother looking until she's towering over you. dark eyes and a small smile that would seem genuine coming from anyone else. a hand cups your cheek but no nails follow; it's gentle and slow as she runs her thumb over your skin. what was happening right now? "do you ever think about me?" you blink a few times trying to make sense of everything. why was she being so nice? why was she being so gentle? why did she ask that?

"what do you mean?"

a roll of her pretty eyes. "you know what I mean." you did but surely not.

"I... don't know what to say."

"Because I think about you," your breathing hitches as you sit up. looking at her properly. "those pretty eyes," she moves closer. "these lips," her thumb runs over your bottom lip. you swallow hard. "do you wanna kiss me?" you just stare back. a smirk as she ghosts your lips.

"say you wanna kiss me." this felt cruel. you lean in and she pulls back slightly. a finger pressed against your lips. her expression is colder now. sharp. "say it."

"I... wanna kiss you," you dare and that smirk quickly returns. removing her finger, Regina leans in and connects your lips. it's soft and slow. not at all like you imagined kissing Regina George would feel like... until the girl pushes into you and it's exactly like you imagined. fast. forceful. like she wanted to devour you. A hand pushes you back against her massive bed and she moves to straddle your hips. your heart is beating so loudly you wouldn't be surprised if she could hear it.

"still thinking about the new girl?"

"I never-" You feel her press a little harder against your chest so you change your answer. "no." Regina tosses her hair over one shoulder, and a finger under your chin pushes your head up.

"I don't think you should talk to her anymore," Regina states before leaning down to connect your lips once more. "understood?"

you're too caught up in the moment to really gauge how serious she was being so you nod. "good girl." whispered against your lips.

Regina George had always been a lot. She always demanded attention and you often gave her it. you weren't ashamed of that. She knew you'd do anything for her. As did most of the school.

"Hey," Cady suddenly appears beside you in the hallway. she seems a lot more relaxed around you which was nice to see. however, you have not spoken to them since that weird night with Regina. She wouldn't like it. plus Gretchen would probably snitch on you immediately. "so we should probably figure out a time to work on our project." you've been paired up for an assignment in American literature.

"We can do it today after school if you want?" she nods. "I'll meet you out front."

"hey Cady," Karen slides up beside you on the other side, instantly looping your arms. ever the pleasant company. you wonder if she just wanted to see you or get you away from Cady. probably the former.

"I'll see you later," you say to the new girl before turning to your friend. "what do you want?"

"you're coming to Connor's party Saturday?"

"Obviously,"

"I have the perfect-"

"no," you respond instantly. you loved Karen. she was genuinely the sweetest person you know. but at every party, she tries to give you a Karen Shetty special aka a makeover. and every single time you have to say no.

"but I have the perfect outfit for you."

"is it actually perfect for me or just slutty."

"Both," Karen states excitedly. "please," pleading eyes as she draws you closer, hugging your arm. "please please please."

a loud groan. "fine."

"Really?" her eyes light up and circulation quickly returns to your arm. you nod at her which leads to excited clapping. maybe it wouldn't be so bad. maybe it was the perfect outfit for you but also sexy enough to satisfy Karen.

"oh here," you reach into your bag and produce a homemade friendship bracelet. you'd been tutoring some younger students for extra credit but sometimes you just hung out with them. "made them with some of the kids so,"

"ah thank you," she takes it eagerly. you had one for Gretchen and Regina too. only one of them would appreciate it though.

"why were you chatting with Cady?" Karen asks, sliding on her bracelet as she takes your arm once more.

"we're doing a project together," you explain. "you were literally just in class with us Karen."

"oh yeah," she smiles brightly. "I'm starving." you chuckle a little and allow her to eagerly pull you towards the dining room.

you're sitting on the grass. Cady is talking in your ear as you stare into the distance. most students had gone home already. The rest were working on homework or projects or extracurricular activities. you arranged this meeting but god were you bored. no offence to Cady but you kinda wish you'd been paired with Karen so you could be fucking about right now and then rush the work the night before it's due.

"are you going to the party Saturday?" you ask idly.

"What party?"

"oh shit." you forgot she was hanging out with Janis and Damian who definitely wouldn't have been invited. "connor mckay is having a party. The dudes a mess, big house though. you should come,"

"don't think I was invited,"

"I'm inviting you."

"not sure that's how it works."

"Just come Cady," you insist. "you can bring Janis and Damian too if you want. everyone will be too fucked to notice."

"uh, thanks then" she smiles a little, glancing back at her textbook. "I'll think about it."

"you have to think about attending your first high school party?" you question. laying down on your back. "I'll be there," you turn your head to look at them. "it'll be fun." you watch her carefully and soon she smiles.

"Okay, yeah."

"well that was easy," should have just started by stating you'll be there. "Be careful, Cady." you tease, looking back to clouds passing by but you can't help but smirk a little. "I'll start thinking you like me."

sat in the back of Regina's jeep as she fixes her hair in the overhead mirror, Karen inspects your face while Gretchen is copying Regina by fixing her hair. "can we just go in," you insist, slapping Karen's hands away. "before I regret coming."

"Why would you regret coming?" Gretchen questions, looking around at you.

"I feel stupid,"

"you look amazing," Karen urges. "perfect."

"you would say that."

"stop whining," Regina insists. flipping up her mirror. "you look hot. now let's go."

finally. "I'm gonna get so fucked up," you state as you step out of the car. walking beside Regina with Gretchen and Karen a step behind. the party is already alive. started at six. It was eight.

you reach the point in every party where you just don't want to be there anymore pretty quickly tonight. you're suddenly so aware of how annoying everyone is. sat on the kitchen counter, you swing your legs back and forth as you sip whatever was in your cup. Gretchen gave it to you. the party passes around you like you're not even there until an all too familiar blonde appears. "you look sad," you'd mistake that for genuine concern if it wasn't Regina "Already at sad drunk, that's impressive."

"what do you want Regina?" she had basically ignored you since you arrived so why she suddenly thought you were worthy of her presence, you'll never know. Shane was the object of her disgustingly public displays of affection tonight. "thought you'd be too busy with Shane."

"god, you're so obsessed with Shane," a roll of her eyes as she takes the cup from your hand to help herself. you watch her as the red cup comes to painted lips. not a hair out of place. so perfect. Regina was perfect. it was annoying

"I invited Cady tonight," you state, snatching your cup back.

"ew. why? I thought we agreed you weren't going near Cady anymore," technically you did. practically it wasn't that deep. who cares.

"And Janis and Damian but mostly to get Cady here,"

"desperate to hang out with losers," Regina sighs. "is she here?"

you shrug. "too many people. too big a house. I haven't looked, to be honest."

"Well," a hand finds its way to your thigh, running up and then down softly. "if you're good tonight maybe I'll give you a little treat."

"don't," you push her hand away. "go back to your boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend,"

"well whatever he is," you jump down off the countertop. "you made it very clear that I'm not what you want."

"you're so dramatic," she pushes up too. "I hate when you get drunk."

"Whatever."

"fuck sake," Regina responds. "you act like I said we're together or something."

"you're such an asshole," you huff. "I'm gonna find Cady."

"good luck with that,"

there are so many people at this party. you're not sure who half of them even are but they all seem to know you as you stumble around after the new girl. a constant barrage of 'hellos' and 'you look hot' in various forms. it's tiring. annoying. and you're about to give up and go find Gretchen so she can rub your back to make you feel better when you spot her. She was looking as awkward as ever. "you came." shouted over the thump of the music

"yeah," her face lit up. "Damian too. Janis said she'd rather jump off a bridge than come so..."

"That sounds... exactly like her," you nod. "I like..." you glance at her outfit. Regina would hate it. you don't love it. "your outfit. very school teacher chic."

"Thanks," she replies. "I didn't have anything to wear so,"

"it's cool. I'm just happy someone here isn't gonna irritate me- do you want a drink?"

"Sure," she nods. "do they have juice?"

"uh... probably somewhere." who asks for juice at a party? "I'll check. stay here."

you wander off back to the kitchen in search of some juice. your first stop is the fridge which is very stocked. you briefly scan for anything open, sweet and edible before just grabbing a carton of fresh orange and deciding that will do. pouring her a glass before heading back. she's still in the same spot only a particular blonde in the tightest little black dress has decided to strike up a conversation. you immediately know something is wrong. Regina can't stand Cady. it's why you told her you admitted to inviting her so easily. You wanted to piss her off. you can't make out what is happening but as you make your approach the redhead leaves. Regina turns to you with a sugary sweet smile betrayed by her eyes. "hey baby girl, feeling any better?"

"What did you say to her?"

"why do you have a glass of" brow knitted as she tapped her nail against the glass. "orange juice?"

"What did you say to her?"

"who?" you let her have the glass and she takes a sip. a visible look of disgust. "is there anything in this?"

"It's just fresh orange,"

"what the fuck? are you trying to sober up or what?"

"it was for Cady," you explain. "what did you say?"

the blonde shrugs. "she just had to go. not my fault." you don't believe her. why would you? She has a track record of being a conniving person who'll make trouble just for the sake of it. it'd be naive to think she didn't do anything."

"Why do you have to be such a fucking bitch all of the time," you grumble loudly. a hand snaps around your wrist and suddenly you're yanked closer to her. hot breath sending a shiver down your spine.

"I let you off before because you were all sad and tragic but don't think you can ever talk to me like that," growled in your ear before she abruptly shoved you away. "Cady left. get over it."

"she only left because you said something,"

"she left because she realised you don't like her," the blonde snapped. such a pretty poison came in the form of Regina George as she turned her gaze on you. She was pissed but kept it quietly contained to just beneath the music so nobody else had a clue. "that you've just been stringing her along. pretending to be her friend. all because I wasn't showing you enough attention," she's close again. too close. she wasn't physically that tall but right she seemed massive as she loomed over you. her eyes flicker to your lips and back up. did she wanna kiss you or kill you? neither seemed smart. "she realised that you belong to me."

"I'm not a dog Regina."

"you sure about that," a mean glint in those pretty eyes. "you wanted my attention. you got it." she shoves the orange juice back in your hand. it's contents splashing your hand. "don't cry about it now." and with that she turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd

// NEXT

[francixoxoxo]

MDNI; nsfw smut headcanons!!

Billy doesn’t have all the time in the world, but whatever he does have, he wants to spend it with his girl. So whenever you and him get more than a minute alone, best believe that man is jumping on you!! Billy knows how to make it last, but with the hectic life he leads, he’s got real good at quickies. Give him five minutes and he’s gotten an orgasm or two out of you, pumping his fingers into your cunt or laving his tongue over your clit. Give him ten, and he’s bending you over the nearest surface, his chest to your back so he can whisper sweet words while he fucks you into tomorrow. Sometimes he’s laying down his jacket on the ground for you to lay on, or even lifting you against the wall, his hands holding you up under your ass. Stark comparison to the man who gently buttons your shirt back up, fixes your hair, sends you off with the sweetest of kisses to your forehead and promises for later. Billy knows every bit of your body like the back of his hand, and he doesn’t want to wait for the “right time and place” to get you off. Well, that doesn’t mean he isn’t keeping you up all night the moment he gets the chance to really take it slow.

Finnick has a bad history with intimacy, if you could even call it intimate. He didn’t even think he’d look forward to it with you; as healthy as it is, he just didnt feel right mingling something he associates with pain, with you. But after the first time, oh, his mind is changed. He only ever wants it with you. He’s not into anything degrading, anything harsh. His experiences with that have never, ever been good, and he can’t bring himself to want that with you. Finnick’s loving, he’s gentle, that man takes his sweet time. He takes his time roving his hands over your form, murmuring praise to you. He’s damn experienced, sadly. He knows every trick in the book to get you to come; a hand pressing on your lower belly, a pillow under your back, just the angle that’ll make you wail. No matter how aggressive or rough you ask him to go— because honestly, he wouldn’t ever suggest it first, I feel like he gets enough of that from clients that he can’t get with it, especially not with someone he loves so much— he’s telling you just how perfect you are, just how amazing you feel around his cock, and just how beautiful you look underneath him. Finnick’s also probably the best ever at aftercare; showering with you and washing your hair, or just cleaning you quickly with his own discarded shirt, grabbing you a bottle of water and snuggling up close. Of all the experiences he’s had, he still enjoys the afterglow the best.

Coriolanus likes control in almost every aspect of his life. Your sex life is no different, but frankly, once he discovers the feeling of you on top of him, he makes an exception. It has to be his favorite, watching you fuck yourself over his cock, your freshly manicured nails scratching the back of his head. The snarky, brattish side of you had always been his favorite, the side that snipped back at his comments and curled her lip when he was being stupid. When you get tired and your rhythm ticks off, he’s grabbing your hips, bullying his dick up into you while you groan into his neck. He’ll kiss the bruises and wipe the tears afterward, when you’re cleaned and wrapped up in his blankets. And and and lingerie, don’t get him started. Coriolanus insists on buying you a new pair every occasion; birthday, you get a maroon, lacy set. Anniversary, obviously you get a blood-red crotchless pair. He passes a bill, you’re out to celebrate? Coryo hums that maybe you should open the gift when you get home. He has good taste, your husband. by the time you step out of the bathroom you change in, he’s already rock hard in his slacks, reaching for you. Sure, he loves buying you lingerie and clothes, but he likes ruining them just as much.

I’ll just say it bro Sejanus is huge. Not just in stature but his ahem. His weiner. He’s stupid thick, and the first time he pushes in, he can tell you’re already gone. It takes a minute to get used to, no matter how often you have sex, but Sejanus is a patient guy. He smatters kisses along your shoulder and your chin, and once he starts to push his hips into yours with purpose, his forehead rests against your cheek. He’s gentle, this boy, attentive, listening to every cue he can pick up to make sure you like it. Just because he knows he’s a lot for you to take, he’s sweet and careful, murmuring that you’re doing good as his cock stretches your walls to the brim. I think Sej would be a bit quieter, he’s more focused on listening to you than talking himself, but that doesn’t mean he lets a handful of groans and “fuck, you’re perfect”’s slip. Honestly, fucking Sejanus is being trapped under him, his large frame locking you in place, his burly arms bracketing your face like walls. When this man’s inside you, there’s not much that can get him to stop or distract him. He’s also totally the type to crack either a very lame dad joke or an awful dirty joke during sex, your breathless giggling prompting his own laughter, even if he’s literally balls deep. Afterward, he pulls you to him, grabbing onto you like you’re his personal teddy bear, mumbling that you can both shower in a minute, but he just wants to hold you. You end up in soft, quiet conversation about everything and nothing, filling the scarce space between your faces with silly thoughts until one of you dozes off.

[scorpioriesling]

Can you write an eris smut fic with prompt 27?

The Right Swipe

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Modern!Eris x reader

Warning(s): smut, 18+, mdni

Summary: You finally decided to swipe right -- and thank God you did. That's all I'll say for now.

SR’s Note: Two posts in one day?? Wow, I must really love you guys. (; This uses prompt #27 from my request masterlist! I hope you enjoy; I actually had so much fun writing this one, LOL.

Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk @nctsawrus @freakishfandomfiend (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

You hummed as you flitted about your room, preparing for your date tonight. Finally, after swiping left on hundreds of guys did you swipe right on one of them. And boy, was he worthy of a right swipe.

Stopping before the mirror, you inspected your outfit. Sure, it was windy tonight in the city, but you felt that the mini skirt was a must. You were dining at quite the upscale eatery anyway, and you needed to make a good first impression.

The buzzing of your cell phone halted your oogling. You picked it up, seeing your best friend's face filling the screen.

"Hey!"

"Hey! What's up?" You asked, staring at the grainy screen concealing your friend's face.

"Nothing much -- I was just going to see if you left for your date yet." Nesta wiggled her eyebrows, and you chuckled.

"Not yet, I'm almost done getting ready though." Nesta grinned.

"Let me see the outfit!"

You obliged, turning the camera to show your outfit off in the mirror. She clapped in approval, nodding her head.

"Gorgeous, darling -- simply stunning," she complimented. You curtsied playfully, and turned the camera back around to show your face. "What time were you getting back? I can wait up if you want."

You shrugged.

"Honestly, I'm not sure yet -- we're eating near Times Square, so it's not too far from the apartment," you huffed, working to slip on your shoes.

"Hopefully not too early," Nesta mused, and you barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, let's hope not." You tugged on the other shoe, and straightened your blouse.

"I have your location too -- remember, you shared it with me?" Nesta said seriously. "So if anything happens-"

"I know, I know; if he ends up beign an axe murderer, you'll show up and decapitate his weiner. I remember," you giggled, thinking of the prior conversation the two of you shared. She chuckled, but her expression remained serious.

"I wasn't joking either -- but, I hope you have a good time. I know the guy will, you're looking hot!" She winked, and you waved a hand at her. "Call me if you need me, okay? i'm just across the bridge in Brooklyn you know, I can be there in an instant."

Given the typical New York traffic, you knew that wasn't true -- but you flashed her a knowing look anyway.

"I will, I will -- talk to you later?"

"I'll talk to you later."

She hung up, and you turned to the mirror once more. You'd spent so much time fussing over your blouse, picking at it and tucking it in -- but as one shoulder hung over the curve of your arm, you decided it looked best this way. In an act of hope that this date would be successful, you opted for your glitter strap Victoria's Secret bra; with the shoulder exposed, it shone just perfect.

Hopefully, he'd take the bait.

･ﾟ: *✧

Your ponytail swung lightly in the breeze as you walked the few blocks toward the restaurant. You'd been to Times Square a million times, sure -- but as far as spending time there, with money you didn't have? That was a no.

The address he gave you to meet at approached on your phone screen, and you glanced around for any sight of the red hair you'd seen in his photos. There weren't any.

Sighing, you looked closer at the restaurant. When you peered through the dim windows, your breath hitched in your throat.

You knew Butter was an exclusive bar and dining scene -- but you hadn't realized how exclusive. Inside, expensive drinks were poured over ice, the bottles the came from returning to a wine racked wall made of solid gold. Low, glittering lights lit the tables, and every guest in there looked to own no less than a million bucks.

Shit.

You pulled out your phone to text, but the door opened and a thin man in a suit greeted you. He ushered you inside, and despite your pounding heart -- you obliged.

"Good evening, miss." He greeted, and you immediately tucked your phone away, not wanting to seem impolite.

"Hello," you said wearily. The man grinned at your response.

"Are you dining alone this evening, or waiting for guests?"

Your palms felt clammy as you fumbled with your purse, working to shove your phone inside.

"I... uh..."

Your spine straightened as a warm hand slid against the small of your back, and your chin whipped in the direction in which it came from.

And oh... my... God. The white button down, rolled up at the sleeves. His hair was perfectly styled, the flaming red a contrast to the dim lighting in the room. The black dress pants, the black leather belt...

Your mouth watered at the sight.

"She's with me, Aaron," his whiskey smooth tone nearly sent a shiver down your spine. "Two for Vanserra."

Aaron, apparently, nodded and gestured to the long bar sitting before the golden wall.

"Always a pleasure, Eris -- please, enjoy a few beverages from the bar as we finish preparing your table."

Eris nodded, and your skin felt electric with every touch point he had on you. He guided you toward the bar, his hand not leaving your back. He only retrtacted it to pull out a barstool for you -- and you graced him with a soft smile.

"Thank you," you said quietly as he sat beside you.

He chuckled, leaning his forearms against the bar's edge. His amber eyes met yours sidelong, and your skin flushed.

"Anytime, darling."

You were grateful he looked toward the wall of alochol, because your cheeks rapidly flushed.

The bartender approached the two of you, giving Eris a knowing look before sliding his gaze to you. He continued polishing a glass as he adressed the two of you.

"Mr. Vanserra, always a pleasure," he said warmly. Eris nodded back at him.

"Of course Landon, of course," his warm tone made you feel... at ease. Landon glanced to you, and Eris looked between the two of you.

"This is my date this evening -- Miss Y/N Y/L/N," he introduced, and you gave Landon a smile.

"Nice to meet you," you said, and Landon nodded.

"The pleasure is all mine, miss -- what will you be having this evening?"

Your mind raced as you decided what to drink, but Eris answered with practiced grace.

"My usual, please," he said. Landon nodded and looked to you.

"And, for you?"

You contemplated, finally settling on what sounded most appealing.

"A dirty martini please -- extra olives?"

Landon winked at you, uttering a "you got it" before heading off in search of the ingredients. You took a calming breath before turning to Eris, catching him as he was already staring at you.

"So..." you said nervously, deciding on a good place to start. You started with the most basic of questions, trying to make the conversation easy. "What do you, uh, do for work?"

Eris's left brow rose a millimeter, a small smirk finding its way onto his lips. He was quiet a moment before he answered, his warm, silky tone washing over you once more.

"I'm the head of an accounting firm," he responded, his eyes gazing lazily into yours. "Started, oh, five years ago?" He tilts his head in thought. "Yeah, about five years."

You nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

"And, you? What's brought you to the city?"

You chuckled, readjusting your position on the stool.

"How do you know I'm not from here?"

Your question must have caught him off cuard, because he let out a short huff of a laugh as his expression showed a knowing response.

You huffed, looking elsewhere before answering.

"I... I moved to the city last year, I uh... I got a job in fashion." You said the last part with less confidence, as usually when you told people you worked in fashion, you were not taken as seriously.

However, Eris seemed to lean forward in his seat.

"Tell me more about that."

･ﾟ: *✧

Three hours and just as many drinks later, you found yourself struggling to contain your laughter.

"Wait -- you're telling me you did all of that, in front of your entire family?" The tears pricked the back of your eyes you laughed so hard. Eris chuckled, leaning against the table as he nodded.

"I swear it! Literally the most embarassed I've ever felt," he laughed, his words coming out choppy. He'd had maybe one less whiskey than you did, but he still seemed to be enjoying himself.

The waiter made his way toward your corner table, carrying a small black booklet. When he approached the table, he set it down softly, looking between you and Eris.

"Greetings, again -- were you ready for the bill, or was there something else I could get for you?"

His question had you wiping the tears from your eyes, and sobering up rather quickly. You were conscious in ordering tonight, as the dining here was quite expensive; you didn't want to be embarassed if you couldn't cover your half of the bill.

"No, no we should be alright," Eris reigned in his chuckles, quickly and gracefully plucking the folded leather from the edge of the table. He effortlessly slid his card inside, and handed it back to the waiter. "You can charge 20% for the tip, too -- great service tonight."

The waiter nodded appreciatively, and your eyes widened as he walked off.

"Hey, I uh... I can cover at least my half," you offered, but Eris simply waved a hand.

"No worries -- I got it this time." He smiled, and in a rush of confidence, you blurted out the first thought that came to mind.

"Thank you, Eris... I'll get it next time."

A slow grin spread across his face at your words, and you found yourself blushing. He licked his lips in intrigue before the waiter approached once more, handing the receipt back to Eris.

"Thank you for dining with us this evening, and we hope you have a wonderful rest of your night."

Eris stood, shaking the waiters hand before moving to grip the back of your chair. He slid you out from under the table, and you scowled mentally at the way your heart fluttered. Nonetheless, his hand returned to your back as he led you from the restaurant.

Stepping out into the chilly night air, you blew out a breath you hadn't realized you had been holding. Eris sighed, looking up at the moon before fixing his gaze on you again. Neither of you spoke as moments passed between you, only the shared breaths and sounds of the city heard between you.

When you finally spoke, you both did at once.

"I don't want the night to end yet."

"I'm not ready to take you home."

You both laughed at the overlap, and you took a moment to process his words. I'm not ready to take you home yet.

Your heart fluttered once more.

"I... if you want to, we can, go for a walk?" You suggested. He smiled, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close enough that you could smell his expensive cologne.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea."

And with that, you were off. You turned corner after corner, no direction in mind or care that you were walking the city streets at nearly midnight. Eris was with you, and the way the conversation flowed so easily between the two of you... you felt safe.

The topic of conversation ranged so wide, there was no real way to limit what was on the table or off to discuss. At dinner, you'd gotten to know him a little better; his family, his job, what his friends were like -- his most embarassing moment. But out here, where the air was clearer and the options were limitless, you felt like you could talk with him for hours.

"So, what made you choose fashion?" He asked, his words only running together a little bit as the alcohol took more of an affect. You turned the corner, passing Macy's before you answered.

"Well, as a girl I loved the aesthetics, how you could do so many things with only raw materials; then, I took up designing, and got my degree in fashion technology." You explained. He looked to you in amusement, and you grinned. "Now, I'm here."

His eyes strayed from your face only for a moment, fixating on the glittery strap across your shoulder. He looked to you again, pausing in front of the Van Leeuwen's ice cream shop as he took your hand in his.

"My apartment is just around the corner," he said softly, gazing into your eyes with sincerity. Your heart throbbed; you didn't want him to go, not just yet. Despite his rich-boy first impression, you were quite enjoying every moment of the date with him.

"Oh," is all you could think to say. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth, as he inched closer to your face.

"I... usually, I don't bring anyone to my apartment. Only my family, my friends," he explained. "And, I definately don't want to give you the wrong impression... blow this whole thing up, I mean." he continues. You nod silently, your lips mere inches from eachother.

"It's been such a great night, but... I just don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet," he admits shyly, the rosiness on his cheeks so at odds with his outward appearance. You can't help but to grin, your hand brushing the exposed skin of his forearm from his rolled up sleeves.

Your gaze found his once more, as you whispered back.

"I don't want to go, either."

With that, his fingers closed around yours as his lips pressed against your own.

･ﾟ: *✧

You barely registered how many floors the elevator passed as Eris pressed you against the mirrored wall, his lips devouring your own with a certain sense of hunger. The soft dings during your ascent were lost as you threaded your fingers through his hair, pulling him back to you over, and over, and over again.

It was only a few minutes more before Eris pulled away, glancing toward the digital number and sighing. You couldn't help but giggle, taking in the 28 on the wall before the doors slid open and you followed him out. His hand held yours firmly as he led you down the hallway. Glancing around, you didn't notice any other entrances besides the one at the end; and your breaths quickened.

"What floor is this again?" You asked, out of breath. Eris quickly fished his keys from his pocket, flicking through them and shoving one into the door lock.

"Twenty eight," he said, just as breathless.

"And... how many floors are in this building?" You asked. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, turning to you with a devilish smirk.

"Twenty eight."

He strode in, tugging you right along with him. Your eyes widened at the expensive apartment, the vast marble countertops, the winding staircase, the rows upon rows of bookshelves...

"Eris," you breathed. He stepped behind you, locking the door and then wrapping his arms around your waist. "You... you're... this is the penthouse," you said, almost in realization.

Goosebumps spread across your skin as his soft lips met the column of your neck, kissing softly up to your ear.

"Mhmm," he purred, softly biting on the lobe. Your breath hitched as he spoke softly into your ear.

"That's not really what you want to ask me though, is it," he teased, his fingers brushing against the hem of your skirt. Your thighs squeezed together, the heat radiating off of him getting you hot.

"I..." you trailed off, almost too lost in the moment to think straight. "W-where... is your bed?"

He chuckled darkly behind you, kissing your neck once more before turning you around and lifting you into his arms. Your legs wound around his waist as he took a step toward the hallway, his hands squeezing your ass as he walked.

"Good girl."

･ﾟ: *✧

The mattress dipped as Eris set you atop it, smirking down at you as he made quick work of removing his shirt. You stared up at him, over the rippling muscles in his stomach, the veins cording his forearms. He was handsome, sure -- but like this, he was devastating.

"You seem to know a lot about fashion," he said, his tone low. His fingers slid beneath the gemstone band of your bra, rubbing over the strap in admiration. “But, do you realize that I can see your bra through that blouse?”

You giggled, your bottom lip finding its way between your teeth.

"Hmm, no, I guess I didn't," you played dumb. He shook his head slowly, his fingers tracing over the curve of your breasts and hooking under the waistband of your skirt. He pulled it over your thighs, your knees, and all the way off. He blew out a long breath as he shamelessly oogled you, admiring the matching panties you adorned.

"Tsk tsk tsk," he tutted, his thumb stroking over your clothed clit. "I guess you also didn't realize that bad girls, get punished."

Your walls fluttered at his words.

He sank to his knees before you, his head settling just between your legs. He hooked two fingers around the lace of your panties, bringing them to the side before brushing his forefinger over your folds. You sucked in a breath as you gazed down at him, his eyes searching yours for permission.

"The moment you want me to stop -- I'll stop."

You nod in understanding, and he leans in. His mouth brushes along the inside of your thigh, soft kisses peppering your thighs. His fingers rub against your clit, the mix of sensations pulling your insides into a knot.

"Mmm," you hummed, lying flat on the bed as his lips inched closer to your core. His tongue slid through your folds and you sighed, one of your hands reaching down to thread through his auburn locks. He continued licking and tasting every inch of your pussy, soft groans vibrating against it as he groaned in pleasure. Your core tightened, especially when he inserted two fingers into your throbing hole.

"Oh...Eris, oh-" You sucked in a breath, your walls clenching around his fingers as he pumped them in and out. His lips sucked and played with your clit, and you squirmed against the feeling of his mouth and fingers. Just as you felt the knot tying tighter in your stomach... he stopped.

He pulled his fingers from you, and moved to stand between your knees instead. Your brows knit in frustration, and he licked his lips as he gazed down at you.

"Be a good girl for me -- and I'll let you cum," he declared. You raised an eyebrow, inching back on the bed as he slid his belt from his hips.

"Fuck me good, Eris, and I'll do just that."

A low chuckle sounded in his chest as he leaned forward, gripping either side of your blouse and yanking. Buttons flew about, and you gasped in horror.

"Eris! That was-"

"I'll buy you another one," he growled, moving to hover over you. His fingers slid the glittery straps over your shoulders -- but he didn't fully take your bra off. Instead, he undid his pants and finally freed his aching cock; his huge. Cock.

"Take off your underwear." He demanded. You listened, sliding the lacy thing down your legs and lying flat on your back again. He smirked, rubbing his hand over his cock as he positioned it before your entrance.

"Hmm, she listens," he teases, and you bite your bottom lip.

"Beautiful, funny, interesting... and a good listener? What more could I wish for?"

You blush at his compliments, momentarily forgetting how close he was to driving his cock inside of you. It wasn't long though before the stretch happened, and you adjusted to his size as he continued sliding in.

"Oh.... Eris, oh God," you panted, every tantalizing inch more pleasureable. When he finally reached the hilt, he pulled out -- only to slide in once more.

You groaned in protest, wanting him to fuck you faster; instead, he took both wrists in one hand, holding them above your head.

"Hold still for me, baby."

He slid out, and shoved his cock back in. You squeaked at the sudden change of pace, reveling in the feeling coming from him fucking you hard. Your mouth fell open as you gazed up at him, his concentrated expression focused on yours as he drove his length in over, and over, and over.

"Eris," you breathed, your eyes rolling back in your head. He continued pounding into you, only slowing as your pussy clenched around him once more.

"No no no," you groaned, and he leaned in to kiss your lips at once. His cock slid from you, and his hand released your wrists. You ran your hands through his hair, your tongue slipping in only once before he stood again.

"Flip over for me," he said, his hand fisting his cock again as his eyes roamed the expanse of your body. You immediately slid onto your stomach, your hair fanning across your back as you lifted your hips. You heard his growl of approval behind you, and you spread your knees to better accomodate the new position.

His hands braced your hips instantly, his hard length pressing against your ass. You wiggled your hips against him -- only to soon be met with a spank against your right buttcheek.

You gasped, and Eris pressed the tip of his cock against your hole once more.

"Don't do that," he warned. "Or else I'll cum."

He drove his cock in, not wasting any time this round as he set a punishing pace. His right hand left your hip to wrap around the base of your ponytail, causing the arch in your back to accentuate as he rammed his cock in more forcefully.

"So gorgeous like this," he praised, his breaths ragged. Your ass bounced with every thrust of his cock, and though you couldn't see it, he was having a hard time prying his gaze away from the sight.

"Yes, yes, yes," every snap of his hips illicited a gasp from you, especially as he fucked into you at a new angle. He drew your back up to his chest, his arm wrapping around your ribs to grab at your breast.

"You wanna cum, baby?" He asked nicely. You huffed in response, the way his fingers pinched at your nipple through the lace of your bra. the friction caused you to shake, the sensations rolling through you while you struggled to keep your orgasm at bay.

"Please," you whispered. Eris groaned low beside your ear, his lips attaching to your neck once more before leaving a playful bite.

You cried out in pleasure, the tidal wave finally overflowing inside of you. Wet, clear cum dripped down your thighs as Eris drove his cock deep into your pussy a final time, feeling every clench your walls gave him. He released every ounce of cum deep within your throbbing core, his arms holding you close to him as the both of you chased out your highs together.

When he finally pulled out, you sighed, lying down on his silky sheets once more. He retrieved a washcloth, and delicately wiped you off before cleaning up himself and tossing it aside. Sliding his own underwear back on, he lied down beside you.

You turned your head, searching his returning gaze for an answer. He offered a small smile as he leaned in, brushing a stray hair from your forehead.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to let you go."

･ﾟ: *✧

[shelbgrey]

Can you do a Zack Addy x gn reader where reader goes to the Jeffersonian to bring him food and eat with him and everyone is confused because they didn't know Zack had a partner please?

Who's got him smiling like that?(Zack Addy)

Paring: Zack Addy x reader.

Summary: while y/n has lunch with their boyfriend Zack, the Jeffersonian tries to figure out what's going on between the two of them.

A/n: sorry this took so long and that it's shorter than my usual content. I hope you enjoy though.

MasterList

Seeley, Cam, Temperance, and Angela looked down from the balcony on the second floor of the lab. They leaned against the railing confused as they watched Zack laughing with y/n while they ate the lunch y/n brought.

“gotta be a sibling” Booth said, rubbing his hands together. In his eyes Zack was just a child genius that didn't have time to date.

“all of Dr. Addy's siblings are in New Jersey, but that could be a possibility,” Brennan said, looking at Booth then back down at Zack. Something about seeing Zack laughing like that with this beautiful person made her heart swell with happiness.

“Maybe it's just a friend,” Cam shrugged.

“No. I've never seen him laugh like that, he's definitely in love with whoever that is” Angela smiled. She felt so happy seeing him laugh. She could tell all that mattered to him tight now was y/n.

--------(1st pov)--------

“So, how's work?” I asked, nibbling on the last of my fries.

Zack nodded, munching on his onion rings. “well we found some very interesting set of particulates, something neither me nor Hodgins have seen on a victim before, and the humerus…” he stopped mid sentence.

Even though I never really understood all the science mumbo-jumbo I still like hearing him talk about it. There's something about seeing him get all excited and talk about something he's passionate about.

“no, no, keep going. I love it when you talk Science-y” I said resting my chin on my fist.

“'Science-y' isn't a word… And it's fine” Zack said, putting the rapper his burger came in and his napkin in the brown paper bag. “on another note, how's everything in the animal kingdom?”

I worked at the local animal shelter in town, it was an amazing job and I got work and take care of all kinds of dogs and cats. “well… Now that you mention it…” I started and gave him an innocent look. Zack tilted his head and gave me a warning look. “no! I know that look” he said, pointing his finger at me.

“Aw, but he was so cute”

“we already have two dogs... And a cat, that cat still dislikes me” he mumbled the last part.

“It's a small dog though,” I said, giving him a pouty lip. “it's a weiner dog mix, he'll stay tiny” we already had a black lab and a golden retriever, then on top of that I brought home a white cat home three months ago.

Zack playfully rolled his eyes. He always said he admired my love for all animals and loved how compassionate I was for all of them. Not so much when I keep bringing my ‘work’ home with me as he says.

“just imagine a cute little sausage dog curled up in your lap, helping you read Science stuff for work”

Zack sighed playfully.

“I'll let you name him” I smiled and gave him the puppy eyes he can't refuse. He sighed again. “don't give me the look”

“Please”

Zack groaned in a very monaton way. “... Fine”

I immediately wrapped my arms around him and kissed his forehead. “thank you babe”

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

“what are you doing?” Hodgins asked, walking up to the others. He looked over the balcony to see what everyone was staring at. He smiled when he saw y/n and Zack together.

“trying to figure out who's with Addy,” Booth said.

“Oh, that's y/n” Hodgins smiled.

Everyone gave Hodgins a confused look as Hodgins yelled down at the couple “Hi y/n!”

Y/n left Zack's arms and happily waved at Zack's best friend. “hey, Hodgins”

“soo… Who's y/n?” Angela asked Hodgins.

“Zack's partner” Hodgins smiled like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“your telling me Zack… Our little child prodigy is y/n's boyfriend” Booth asked, shocked but at the same time impressed Zack snatched up a beautiful person like y/n.

“trust me I didn't even know y/n existed until Zack tried to seek them in one night when he was still living with me” Hodgins said.

“Well, y/n seems to make him happy,” Cam smiled down at the couple.

“y/n's great… Zack just seems so much happier now”

The team smiled at the couple, Zack and y/n were in there own little world talking about the knew puppy and the case Zack was working on. Hodgins was right, he was so much happier with y/n in his life, he felt more alive and human. He just couldn't help but smile everytime he was in y/n's presents.

[savage-daughter-of-nikitie]

BREAKING: Trump's takeover of the Kennedy Center implodes in humiliating fashion as droves of talented celebrities abandon the legendary performing arts center in protest.

Trump is radioactive with the people he wants to impress most...

Actress Issa Rae announced on Instagram in a brief statement that she is cancelling her "An Evening With Issa Rae" event slated for next month. Tickets will be refunded.

"Unfortunately, due to what I believe to be an infringement on the values of an institution that has faithfully celebrated artists of all backgrounds through all mediums, I’ve decided to cancel my appearance at this venue," she wrote.

Trump made himself chairman of the center on Wednesday. Earlier this week he removed Biden appointees from the board and rammed in unqualified cronies including Second Lady Usha Vance and White House Chief of staff Susie Wiles.

Mega-successful television producer and writer Shonda Rhimes — the woman behind hit shows like Grey's Anatomy, Bridgerton, and Scandal among others — resigned as treasurer of the center's board yesterday.

She posted a quote from JFK on her Instagram: "If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him."

Legendary soprano Renée Fleming resigned as artistic advisor to the center and while she avoided naming Trump, she praised David M. Rubenstein — the center's former chairman who was ousted.

Singer and songwriter Ben Folds stepped down from his role as advisor to the National Symphony Orchestra, which the Kennedy Center oversees.

"Given developments at the Kennedy Center, effective today I am resigning as artistic adviser to the N.S.O. Mostly, and above all, I will miss the musicians of our nation’s symphony orchestra — just the best!" Folds wrote on Instagram.

Adam Weiner of the band Low Cut Connie has also canceled an appearance at the center next month.

"Upon learning that this institution that has run nonpartisan for 54 years is now chaired by Trump himself and his regime, I decided I will not perform there," he wrote on social media, adding that friends and fans were going to be "directly negatively affected by this administration’s policies and messaging."

This is the kind of rejection that infuriates Trump more than anything. He has long wanted to be accepted by America's cultural elites. Instead, they see him for the cruel, fascist, ignorant, incompetent failure he truly is. Tamara Barnes Gray

Please like and share!

[moooncats]

✿ Pick A Card: Traits/Aura of Future Spouse ✿

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✿ Pile 1 : Clarity & Generousity ✿

✿ The Giver ✿

Your future spouse is very much advanced when it comes to deep thinking into ones own conscious. They know how to separate their own intuition from the mental chatter that is going on in their heads. The clarity of their intuition is a sweet, simple fruit that tastes familiar to them. The mental chatter is a bitter rind that they peel off and chuck into the garbage (or compost heap, when their mental chatter seems to be organic cx ). They are also very generous, they will shower you with compliments, gifts, anything they can physically give to you. I'm seeing the giving tree in my minds eye. They will always be there for you and will love to be the one that you count and depend on. No matter how much, or how little they have, they will give, give, give. They intuitively know that there is enough to go around, and the main key is to allow it to keep going so the cycle can continue on forever- without stopping. If they don't give it is like they are the one person in the stadium who doesn't do the wave.

✿ Future spouses Aura: Green tones ✿

Your future spouse may have a green thumb and devle in green magick. If you don't know what that means, they are a master planter when it comes to bringing green life into fruition. They may also be rich as well as green is the color of money. Green is the heart chakra, they have many love to give when it comes to you and their heart chakra is forever open you those around them. It is quite infectious! They have unconditional love, empathy, and emotional equilibrium. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) 🌱✨️

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✿ Pile 2 : Trust & Warmth ✿

✿ The Gentle Giant ✿

Your future spouse has trust in the divine universe and is very brave when it comes to knowing that everything will be fine in the end. They have this instinct knowing in their gut that everything is always going to be okay. They rather live a fun life with trust and confidence than be a defensive weiner. All their focus is geared towards warmth. They let it guide every interaction that they have with all beings, little or big. No matter how other's behave, they choose to respond warmly. With warmth, they can melt any icy exterior. They can soften any hard feelings. They have adopted the saying "kill them with kindness". Omg pile 2, I'm hearing "Cuddly Teddy Bear"! Your future spouse is a Gentle Giant and they choose to be the kind one in every and any situation. They have lived many lifetimes. This is not their first time around the block. Their empathy shows no bounds when it comes to you and others in their vicinity.

✿ Future Spouses Aura : Blue/Purple & Indigo ✿

Your future spouse uses their throat chakra a lot to convey sweet and empathic messages to the world. They do not shy from spreading peace and positivity out into the world. They are also very much in tune with their intuition and gives trust to the universe to guide them and give them hidden messages. They are very self aware and give into their gut feeling and 6th sense. I'm hearing when you two meet they will know instantly as you are litteraly the person that they have been having constant dreams about. Omg this is so cute pile 2!! I love this for you. 🌠💫✨️ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

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✿ Pile 3 : Individuality & Boundless Love ✿

✿ The Alien ✿

Your future spouse was definitely the black sheep of society. Pile 3, I am going to be honest with you- this is the pile that I had a bit of trouble getting energy from. Your future spouse is very independant and they like to be lowkey. Take what you may with that information. Okayyy, now back to the reading. I'm hearing they may have a mental illness (Autism, Schizophrenia, OCD, ADD, etc) that has caused them to look through the lesnses of life with their own flare and style. Im hearing Neuro Divergent. They show delight in being their own quirky person, even if they connect with their friends/family/siblings/children/cousins/cats/dogs/sea monkeys- they see the unique beauty in being their own (sometimes crazy cx ) self. It's alright if their near (or far) and (mostly) dear ones don't always understand them. To be honest, they kinda take it as a compliment. Because of being a black sheep/ alien can cause isolation to some, they have developed an amazing super power- boundless love. They made sure to have their heart open for everyone so they can be known as a person who is just flipping wholesome! On the outside they may look a bit eccentric, or odd looking... but once you get to know them you'll see how multi faceted and just delighful they are! (: They understand that the world is filled with tiny miracles, with this in mind it is quite easy for them to fall in love over and over again, with anything from the honey bee's to neon signs. Whenever they are feeling inspired to love- everything sort of just falls into place.

✿ Future Spouses Aura : Light Tan / Blue ✿

They are so unique! Omg, Light tan is connected with brown. They are very earthly and in tuned with the inner core of the world. They may have had emotional trauma and learned coping mechanisms as a child to deal with it. With the additions of blue, they are in tuned with their throat chakra. They do not shy away from saying things that come from their uniquely structured brain and will have a blast partaking in deep thought provoking conversations with you! 🧠🗣✨️(✿◠��◠)

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Mahalo for reading my 4th ever tarot reading! This is my first time playing with colors and do I dare say, I am digging it! (: Please remember to hydrate and continue on being your amazing selves. I love you all, moooncats out! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)🚀🌌✨️

[henry7931]

Freaky Friday Block Part 2 Max & The Thomas Family

Max:

I’m sitting here trying to do some kind of research on this situation and I don’t even know what to freaking google. I mean I could just type in, “help, I woke in my friend’s dad’s body. Oh and by the way said friend is now his little brother.”

I don’t know, I’ve been listening to Jacob and Conner go back and forth for hours now. And Mr. Thomas is much help either.

I’m just glad my family was out of town so they didn’t have to deal with this whole body swap thing.

The craziest part is that we learned quickly that ‘we’ aren’t the only ones. I think half of the block is going crazy right now from waking up as someone else.

Hell, I saw that college guys a couple houses down walking one of their roommates. He literally swapped bodies with a dog! Nuts right?

I guess I can’t be too mad with Mr. Thomas’s body. Hell, I’m hoping once some of the chaos settles down I can actually enjoy all of this.

Wait a minute, where is Mr. Thomas? He left over an hour ago and said he’s just going to change and come back….

Mr. Thomas

Fuck I’ve been stroking this thing for hours now! I can’t stop!!

I know it’s awful of me especially this being the body of one of my son’s friends… but you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a whole house to myself? Hell, I haven’t been on a date in 10 years.

Ever since my kid’s mother left me after I came out to her I’ve had a hard time finding anyone to date.

But sitting here in this young handsome body… playing with this cock. Oh my god…

I keep trying to head back to my house but I’ve truly lost track of time. I’m just too horny right now.

I wonder… oh here it is! I knew Max was gay, he had Grindr already downloaded.

I take him off of discreet and update his bio: looking, ready to host.

Shit, his parents don’t come back for another week. I can at least enjoy myself at night.

Back at the Thomas’ Home:

Conner:

This is so freaking cool!! Not only did I wake up this morning inside my big brother’s body but now I have his room too!!!

I told him this morning since I have his body, that I get his room. He was so flipping mad about it but I can’t fit in my old bed anymore.

We screamed at each other for a long time. But I ended up picking him up and carrying him in my much smaller body back to my room.

He waited outside the door throwing a tantrum for a bit before giving up. So looks like I won!

Now I have an entire bathroom to myself and I even have my own cellphone (which I’m surprised he didn’t try to get from me.)

Now I think I’m going to take a shower because my new body is stinky!!!

I take off Jacob’s sweat pants he slept in and stopped at his undies.

I wonder what this looks like…

I yank them off and Jacob’s weiner comes floppin out. He has a big bush of hair right above it and weiner is way bigger than mine.

I start playing with it for a few until it gets hard.

I walk into the shower and start rubbing some all over my new muscles down to Jacob’s stinky feet.

Jacob’s feet are always stinky especially after practice. Sometimes they will stink up our entire house.

I weirdly like the smell…

I wash in between his toes and work back up his hairy legs.

I wrap his strong hand around his weiner and started tugging at it.

It felt so good that I couldn’t stop!

I tugged and tugged faster and faster…

I started to get really warm inside…

That’s when I started squirting all over the shower uncontrollably.

I was so out of breath that I laid on the shower floor for a few.

As soon as I could stand back up, I turned off the water and dried off.

I walked over to the mirror and stared at my big brother’s face that I now controlled.

I hope I keep his body forever!

*knock knock*

“Conner it’s me, you have my phone and I want it back,” I hear coming from the door.

I walk over to the door and open it up.

“I don’t think you’re getting this phone. Actually, it’s my phone now. I have this body which was your body. But now it’s mine. So my phone, my room, and now my body. Also, I think it’s best if you call me Jacob for now. Understood little bro?”

Jacob was so angry. He tried to yank the phone out of my hand but I just dangled it over him.

“So close on getting it!”

I jumps for it again and laugh at him.

“Well this has been fun but I’m going to lock my door now.”

I closed the door in his face and went back to his bed.

I pulled my towel off and grabbed one of his dirty socks off of the floor. I laid back on his bed or I should say my bed now— sniffing his dirty sock and gently playing with my new hairy balls.

Max:

So no one else seems to care right now about trying to figure out why we are all in each other’s bodies. So I decided to stop caring as well and just enjoy my new hot daddy body.

Starting with these sexy ass feet! God, I’m already getting hard!

My initial plan was to take a shower and I got as far as stripping down and grabbing a towel.

Unfortunately, I’m so distracted by these feet and Mr. Thomas’s big hairy ballsack.

I eventually get to the shower, still have not jerked off yet.

It’s fun seeing Mr. Thomas hard throbbing cock leaking so bad…

I’ll fondle it for a few and stare down at his feet again.

God I love them!! If we ever switch back I wish there was a way I could take his feet with me. Or at least get some visitation of his lower half.

Hell, this maybe my forever body. I may be Daniel Thomas forever.

I dry off and sit in the steamy bathroom… talking dirty to myself.

I work my way back to his bed jumping on it. I hold his feet up the air again.

I pull the towel off completely and rub his hands all over his hairy butt cheeks down to his hole.

I finally start jerking his dick that’s now throbbing so bad it immediately leaks.

“Mr. Thomas, you’re such a beautiful man. I love the way your cock feels, I love your hairy ass, your big feet, ohhhh… your dick is about to burst!”

“Oh god!!! This feels so goooooddd!!!”

I pull at his hair and start moaning incredibly loud.

“IM CUMMMMINNNNGGGGG FUUUUUUCCCC”

Cum sprays all over me and I’m covered in his cum. I take bit off of his chest and taste it.

“Yum!”

I lay back in his bed naked and grinning knowing that in a few hours I’m going to do it all over again.

[homunculus-argument]

A story of how this one guy's dog almost got killed by a whistling weiner:

The difference between a great story and mediocre one is all about presentation. Today I was reminded of the time when I was around 7-8 years old, and me and a handful of my cousins were at our grandparents' house when one of grandpa's hunting buddies came to visit. Drinking his coffee with a flock of curious small kids cautiously staring at him, this guy decided to amuse himself by telling us a story of the time his dog almost got killed by a sausage. A whistling sausage.

Knowing the local peoples' sense of humour, I figured that this guy is just doing a bit, even when he swore that this story is completely true. And as we giggled and kept insisting that he's talking fairytales, he reassured us again, it was true, grandpa was there. And we looked at our grandfater who was smiling, clearly seeing where this is going, and nodded very slowly. And our grandfather wasn't the type of a guy to tell stories, he rarely said three words in a row and certainly didn't waste them on nonsense. And he, an honest man, had just verified that he was there to witness this.

They had been on a hunting trip, I think it was 5 men altogether, with their dogs. It was that time of the year when people argue whether it's very late autumn or very early winter. Stinging cold, nonetheless. Taking a break before heading home, the hunters made a fire at a spot next to a lake, observing that the lake already had a thin crust of ice over it. If it wasn't already winter, it sure would be soon.

Now this is where the sausage comes in. Innocuously in the same package as its peers, indistinguishable from the others. Warming up by the fire, with their dogs gathered around them - sitting, sleeping, or begging, each according to their own nature - the men cooked their sausages, drinking coffee and talking jovially amongst themselves about whatever hunters do on pauses like that. The man telling the story had his best dog with him, he mentioned her by name, and at the time, she was still quite young but definitely promising, and was sleeping curled up beside his feet.

And then, the sausage he was cooking whistled. The way that they sometimes do as you heat them up on a fire, but somehow the whistling of this one was abnormally loud and high-pitched, and comically long, going

PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This scared the shit out of this guy's dog. Born and bred to chase moose and corner bears, and accustomed to the sounds of gunfire, this dog was startled fuckless by the sound of this whistling weiner. Snapping from dead sleep to her feet, she bolted. To the lake. And right through the ice.

At this point I would like to stress that while everyone who loves their dogs would go to great lengths to save them, these hunting dogs are a treasure to their hunters. I don't know what a good dog would even cost if you could convince a hunter to sell one, but my grandfather's best dog had a grander funeral than my father did. They are a big deal. So it was rescue mission time.

The guy telling the story went into much greater detail about what a huge ordeal getting that bitch out of the ice was than I will here, but it was certainly a hassle. By the time the dog was out of the water, two men were soaked to their waists with icy water and the dog was wet all the way through. Two of their cars were started and kept idling with full heat blasting to warm and dry the two men and one dog while the other three men tried their best to thaw and dry the men's pants, laughing about how the guys would even start explaining their wives why they had to drive home literally ass naked.

And to express her gratitude for being saved from a certain and icy death, the hunting dog in question pissed on a car seat.

And that was the story of how this guy's dog was almost killed by a whistling weiner.

[vampzyb4tz]

SPENCER REID HC!!!

A/N: OH MY GOD. I have been gone for sooooooo long. Well, I'm back now. Please enjoy!! Excuse any mistakes, not all of us can be geniuses like Dr. Reid here 🤭

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He 100% wanted to have a bunch of plants, but it unfortunately didn't work due to his work schedule.

He has a thing for just existing in the same space as his lover. If he can read, work, or grade papers with you laying next to him, he'll giggle and kick his feet.

He probably liked Weiner dogs, and frogs... Idk why, but I have a feeling. I feel it in my nuggets...

He would post aesthetic pictures if he ever got social media. A book, a pretty latte/iced coffee, next to his open laptop/a coffee shop window would be one of his posts.

He is long, but not thick (just like the rest of him). He has a pretty pink tip that you want to kiss, and there's one vein on the side that sticks out. His sack is definitely heavy. Iykyk🤭

He is obviously very clean, but also won't let you clean... When he's around, either he cleans, or... Well, there is no 'or'. He'll just fuss at you, and clean up his way.

He LOVES going to museums, zoos, aquariums, exhibits, science centers, planetariums, and things like that with you. He just yaps the whole time.

You definitely have to help him train for physicals. You and Morgan are a team.

He likes the color green. He gravitates to it, even though he doesn't notice. I have NO clue where this came from, but it feels right.

DO NOT TAKE THIS MAN OUT FOR A MOVIE DATE. He will yap the whole time, you guys will get dirty looks, and it's just gonna suck. Unless it's at home, and you're into that.

You occasionally get the pleasure to do his hair.

He LOVES cuddling, and falling asleep with you on call when he's on a case. It's cheesy, but it makes him happy.

If you're crafty, he will cherish anything you make him. If you're good at baking, he will eat whatever you make him. (Might be biased)

[threerabbitsinatrenchcoat]

Obey me characters as convo’s I’ve had with friends

Asmodeus: If you have a boyfriend, and he says you can’t use his balls as beauty blenders- 

Satan: *Leaves VC*

Lucifer: Why is it in Korean?

Leviathan: Are you homophobic or something?

Asmodeus: Prepare your balls

Barbatos: For the love of fuck it was 4AM when you sent that 

Diavolo: A dog trotted up to me in public and very slowly took a burrito from my hand. He thought he was being sneaky 

He was

I didn’t notice it at all

I feel violated 

MC: L take skill issue 🫵

Belphegor: Is knowing gay lore gonna help me in college?

Mammon: Never know, it may…

Asmodeus: Could help you get laid. Idk about actually passing semesters though 

Satan: It’s creature! [Picture of cat]

Beelzebub: Car🤤

Satan: …Why are you like this 

F!MC: I just finished my period 

M!MC: Nope it’s gonna surprise you 

F!MC: Huh?-

NB!MC: NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

Belphegor: WHY ARE THE SHADOWS MOVING AGAIN

Beelzebub: It’s me 

Belphegor: Is that why it’s built like a Cheeto

Diavolo: Bed bath and behind you 

Barbatos: Do your homework

Diavolo: Nuh uh 

Solomon: You’re a man, let ‘em dangle 

Simeon: Let what dangle😨

Solomon: *Leaves VC*

Simeon: *DMing him* SOLOMON LET WHAT DANGLE

Diavolo: Do you see that vent, Lucifer? I know it’ll be hard, being sus, but you need to-

Lucifer: Kill yourself 

Diavolo: Ok😔

Asmodeus: Sol, Sol

🎁

Open the box 

Solomon: *Opens box*

Asmodeus: 🍆

HAHA ITS MY WEINER 

Diavolo: Lesbian rats‼️

Barbatos: WHERE

Lucifer: MC

MC

MC RESPOND

MC: Rat lord

What do you desire

My l i e g e

Belphegor: Oh wait of course Lucifer and Diavolo are sitting beside each other

Satan: Faggots

Belphegor: yawns out in a very loud and dramatic manner

Lucifer: Please do not tell me you just woke up

Belphegor: If I did?

Lucifer: IT IS 4PM FOR YOU

Asmodeus: Seethe

Fucking S E E T H E

Satan: IT AIN’T FUNNY

IM ON EDGE DUDE

Don’t joke about the edge thing

Asmodeus: WHY YOU EDGING oh ok

Diavolo: 🐌Snail :D

Belphagor: Kill it

Satan: Run it over

Belphegor: Stab it repetitively

Diavolo: NO D:

Mammon: Garlic toast incident 

MC: Garlick*

Mammon: Garlick💔

MC: I thought you were lonely ngl👍 I mean you are but,,,

Mammon: WH AYE SHUT YOUR MOUTH PLEBISCITE

MC: Permission to bite

Lucifer: Permission granted

MC: Huzzah

NB! MC: Woah, is that- Masquerade Butterfly🤔 by👆 Miura Ayme‼️

(Any) MC: His songs are so dick suckable🤤

Lucifer:😨

Mammon:😨

Leviathan:😨

Satan:😨

Asmodeus:😨

MC: THE UNISON WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

Mammon/MC/Leviathan: I can skibidi explain‼️

Lucifer: I will skibidi kick your ass‼️

[heartsforvin]

kissing the bridge of vinnie’s nose and he’s like ??? at first but then he enjoys it and thinks you’re so sweet (I love his cute lil nose ok🥺🥺)

SWEET

“it’s so sweet, knowing that you love me..”

sweet - cigarettes after sex

pairing: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

warnings: FLUFFFFFF <333, mentions of insecurities, one lil sexual joke (i gotta, im sorry 😭)

summary: you loved everything about vinnie, especially his nose and you love to make it known to him

you loved everything about vinnie. from his pretty brown eyes, curly blonde hair, to his cute nose. there was absolutely nothing you loved more than his cute little button nose, though.

you knew vinnie had struggled with insecurity of his own, having said it to you before. you loved to make it known just how much you love each of his features, even if he thinks of them as flaws.

there’ll be days where you spring out a compliment out of nowhere, catching the boy completely off guard.

“your eyes look so pretty, baby.” you’ll say, subtly glancing at him, making vinnie turn his gaze on you.

he gets flustered, almost embarrassed but not in the sense of he was doing anything that was embarrassing.

the compliments you gave the most were about the subtle things about him, ones that most don’t see.

youre standing in front of your boyfriend on your tip toes as you kiss him sweetly. once you pull away, your eyes linger on his, smiling as his lips tug into a smile of his own.

you reach up and put your hand on his cheek, stroking his cheekbone softly as you give him the sweetest of smiles.

he doesn’t know where the sudden affection is coming from, but he’s definitely not complaining.

he smiles as you kiss his cheek, wondering how lucky he got to have you in his life. he watches your fingers dance along his skin until they reach one of the freckles that adorn his pretty face.

it’s nothing, really, just apart of him. thats what makes you love it so much — love him so much.

“baby!” you exclaim as you run into his room, catching the blondes attention as you jump into his arms.

vinnie laughs as he catches you with no hesitation. you wrap your legs around his waist while his hand holds you just under your thighs to keep you steady.

your arms wrap around his neck as you pepper kisses all over him, making vinnie laugh as you do so.

he’ll never get tired of the way you love him, the way you constantly show just how much you love him.

the kisses, the compliments, the random surprises of gifts, it all just stuns him to think how lucky he got to find someone like you.

once you decided you’re done, you stop for a minute and look at him.

vinnie can’t tell the look that’s in your eyes. he doesn’t know if something bothered you just now, or what.

that’s when he sees you lean in and feels you plant a kiss on the bridge of his nose. it confuses him for a minute, seeing as that’s a new place for the affection.

“what’s that for?” he asks, not wanting to break the comfortable silence, but doing so anyway.

you smile and tighten your legs around him as if you’re hugging him tighter.

“i love your nose,” you say as if it were obvious. “it’s definitely one of my favorite things about you.”

vinnie smiles. “oh yeah? what else is your favorite?“ he asks.

you smile widely, blushing at the thought of all your favorite things about the boy whose arm’s you’re in.

“hmm,” you hum as if it were to take a minute or two to think. in reality, you could list about five things right now with no problem.

“your eyes, your smile, your hugs, your arms, your tattoos — you talkin’ ‘bout the one on my weiner, right?” vinnie cuts you off with a joke, making you slap his chest.

“you do not have one there!” you exclaim, giggling as you do.

vinnie smirks as he starts to drop you to the ground. “you wanna see?” he asks, but you just shake your head.

“v i’m serious! i’m being all cute and you’re talkin’ about your dick. for once let me be cute and sweet on you without you making a dirty joke.”

the tone you say it in his a playful one, so vinnie knows you’re not actually mad. in all honesty, you love the little jokes he pulls out here and there.

“okay,” he says as he adjusts his hold on you, making sure you don’t fall out from under him. “keep going, i’m loving the ego boost.”

you roll your eyes playfully at your boyfriend. “i love your nose the most.” you say quietly as you kiss the bridge of his nose again.

vinnie smiles and cups your cheek, kissing it softly. “i love you the most.” he says.

you blush and hide your face in his chest. “look at me,” vinnie pulls your attention. you slowly look up at him and he’s smiling down at you. “i love you so much, my girl.”

your smile only widens as he now peppers kisses all over you. you loved him more than you could ever tell him.

“it’s true!” he chuckles. “thank you for loving me the way you do. i don’t know what i’d do if you weren’t here with me. being with you has made me the happiest i could ever be, and i’m so glad i get to do everything with you.”

tears start to well in your eyes at the words he’s saying. “don’t cry, my love.” vinnie says as he wipes your tears away.

he kisses right below your eye and you kiss the bridge of his nose once more.

“my favorite.” you say softly.

vinnie smiles as he carefully sets you down on his bed. he leans down to give you a proper kiss, smiling once he pulls away.

“forever.”

THIS IS SO CUTE SHUT UPPPPP

also if you got the ‘i have a tattoo on my weiner’ reference, i love you 🫦

tags: @cosmicanakin , @anqeliclust , @forevergirlposts , @slvthrs , @visualbutterflysworld , @venuscameron , @louloulemons-blog , @leqonsluv3r , @bernelflo , @lovingsturniolo , @st4rswrld , @violet0182 , @kayleighh , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @laylasbunbunny , @hallecarey1 , @supabhad , @kriissy4gov

[brighttears]

Finally

Joel Miller x f!reader

No physical description except female sex organs and having hair, no use of y/n

Summary: After losing contact with your lover Joel and his brother for five years, Tommy finds you and brings you into Jackson. You reunite with Joel but it doesn't take long for him to project his insecurity onto you. You talk to Tommy about it until Joel comes and finds you. You have make up sex/five years overdue sex, and end with a shower that eases some feelings out of you as you relax in your new home with Joel

Word count: 7.7k

Warnings: (18+, MINORS DNI) PIV unprotected sex, creampie, mating press, slight hair pulling, slight edging, dirty talk, Joel has a big ol weiner, pet names (baby, babygirl, good girl, sweet girl, darling, my love), you and Joel have an argument, ‘slut’ used derogatorily, accused cheating, brief drinking, kind of insecure!Joel, Tess doesn’t exist

A/n: this is the longest it’s ever taken me to post anything lol (and also the longest thing i’ve written i think?). the quality will not correlate I was messing around with like four other ideas this is the just the only one that got somewhere, also been having way less time to write and that will probably continue 3: also finally did smut (for the one person who has said they want me to lol love u)

—

Riding up to the gates of Jackson, you feel like a teenager on their first day of high school, distractingly nervous but drifted forward by hopeful butterflies. You grip the leather reins and look to Tommy riding beside you, he grants you a reassuring grin. In front of you, the gates, made of lines of thick logs with a large rusty lock, start to groan open. Tommy slips through before you and you follow him into a different world—a ghost and dream, lit up by string lights, appearing warm despite the winter, healthy and alive. Your focus, however, concentrates on the faces, many of which are looking back at your new one. Flicking from one to the next, your heart rises and falls with every one that isn’t Joel’s. Tommy’s promise has your senses perked up like an animal. 

Ahead of you on the road, you double take a man with his back to you. Despite this and his hair being too gray, his posture and step are unmistakable. 

“Joel,” you utter, soft, a reaction rather than a call out; it croaks out of your throat, dusty from all its time stuck there. Awakened, his name erupts from you then, “Joel,” 

The man stops dead, then whirls around, and you stop breathing because it is him. Unable to look away, you stumble off of your horse and begin to walk towards him. It’s silent, almost frighteningly so, even if it’s just in your head, because it makes it feel like a dream, like if you so much as blink he’ll be gone or you’ll be awake. 

Joel mirrors you, then jogs, you feel hot tears behind your eyes, and then you collide, grabbing at each other like you’re making up for every lost embrace from the past five years apart. He makes a sound, holding you with his cheek on the side of your head. You shake once with a cry, a mixture of shock that keeps your eyes wide open, though blind, actualization flowing through you and into your fingers digging into his thick coat and tangling in his hair, dregs of sorrow and resentment against time finally detaching like leeches, and love, powerfully swirling around everything inside of you. 

Then you hear his voice for the first time, “Oh, baby,” and your eyes squeeze shut and you start to cry, and he holds you tighter. You can’t stop it, fueled by relief in the intense familiarity of the pressure of his arms, his scent, his voice, the way he breathes. 

Once you’re breathing properly, Joel pulls away, holding your waist. He looks you over, making sure you’re real and here, and when you are, he slips a hand under your jaw and pulls your wet face into a kiss. For a moment your lips are simply pressed, frozen, overwhelmed, and then they move, and you kiss starved, revived. The feeling of sanctuary rekindling floods you, your face quivering with tears, and you have to pull apart for a breath. 

And Joel is still here, and you hold his face in your hands because he’s so beautiful and he’s finally here. You take in each other’s new features—wrinkles, grays, scars. You slide your thumb over his cheek, feeling his rough skin, and then you meet in the stars in each other’s blown out pupils. 

Simultaneously, you start to giggle, giddy, and then you guffaw, holding each other, and Joel pulls you back in. Tightly, he sways you like a doll, and you feel his laughter through his body like against a speaker playing heavy base. Being in his arms feels like life being unpaused. 

“Tommy!” He cries over your shoulder, still laughing, “Where the fuck did’you find ‘er?” Still held tightly against him, you can’t hear Tommy’s response, but then Joel repeats “Oh, baby.” and leans his head down to loudly kiss the side of your face.

You pull away and admire him. No image that you’d drawn up in your imagination compares to Joel in the flesh. Running your hand through his longer, silvered hair, you realize just how much you were missing out on. 

“I found you.” You whisper. 

He chuckles with a wide smile, “You found me.” And then takes you back to him, “I missed you so much, baby.” 

“I missed you to death.” You mumble into him. 

Tommy’s voice sounds nearby, chuckling “Don’t smother ‘er to death, we just got ‘er back!” You part and turn to look at him with a rawly genuine grin. A sincere smile curves back. You thank him through your eyes and he nods. Joel strides past you to hug his brother, long and meaningful. 

Then he turns to you, hand still on Tommy’s shoulder, and looks you up and down. “Come on, you must be freezin’, I’ll take you up to the house.”

“The house?” You question as he guides you back up the road.

“The house.” He confirms with an amiable smirk, hugging you to his side by an arm wrapped around you. 

—

“I know, I know!” Joel enthuses as he closes the door behind you, watching you turn in a circle, mouth agape, taking in the house, which is actually fully intact, walls and furniture alike, basically clean. It smells like Joel and his jacket hangs on the pegboard on the wall next to the door. An acoustic guitar leans against the couch, which has a blanket hung over the back, there’s a mug out on the table, probably still half full and cold—this is Joel’s house. 

“Look, look,” he calls and rushes to the kitchen sink. He turns the handle and water flows out in a powerful stream, and you stride over, mouth still open in astonishment. You put your hand under the faucet and feel the water heating up. 

“Hot water!?” You cry, and you both burst out laughing again in joyful gratitude. You stop suddenly and Joel turns off the faucet. “Does this mean… shower?” Joel gives you a dramatic frown, raising his brows and shrugging, then nods his head to the stairs. Tugging at his arm, you cry out his name, thrilled. He takes off and you race him up the steps. 

“I can get’chou some clean clothes easy—how long you been wearing those?” 

“Disturbingly long.” 

Joel laughs. “You meet Tommy’s wife yet?” He looks back at you shaking your head as he opens his bedroom door, “Well, she’ll take care a ya’.” He steps into the middle of the room and turns back to you and you magnetize, holding each other by your arms. “Man, when I first got here I just kept thinkin’ how much you’d love this place.” 

The image of that almost makes you blush and your heart swells, knowing that he was still yours while you were gone, playing house with an imaginary you. “Damn straight I do. Fuck, you’ve just been livin’ it up.” Looking over his face, you’re beginning to relearn it. 

“Well, I am now.” His expression shifts from excitement into contentment and he murmurs, “I missed you so much, baby,” 

Fitting together comfortably, you join for a kiss. 

The calm of the room allows you to experience your feelings wholly, inside and out; thus, a shared heat is overt and you strip your jackets, not parting lips and hurriedly reattaching your bodies. 

“Shit,” you breathe out, craving him and finally being satisfied at the same time as his warm, powerful hands move over you, sliding up and down your sides, your back, up your forearm as your hand brushes over his face and into his hair and with your other you squeeze his thick bicep. He walks you into the wall, clutching your middle to him with an arm wrapped around you. His other hand drags from your face down your neck, flush against your skin as he continues slowly lowering it further, past your collarbone. Your chest expanding in a deep breath lifts it into his hand and Joel swears, then repeats in a murmur, “I missed you so much baby.” You respond with a whimper and wetter kiss, pulling him ever closer, and he swears again, the hand on your back clenching the fabric of your shirt. Then he moves it to the underside of your leg, between your thigh and your ass, and lifts, holding your thigh next to his leg with your foot dangling, toes curling in your boot. Truth is, no one has touched you since Joel, save for yourself, so he’s driving you crazy right now.

Your mouths together compose a natural melody, one motion rolling into the next, constantly finding and looking for more and you’re obsessed again with his flavor. If this lasted forever you wouldn’t even notice. But, just as he moans into your lips, Joel suddenly pulls back and holds you away by your waist.

You rest your hands on his forearms. “Joel?” You inquire, catching your breath, and then slide a hand over his cheek and under his chin to lift his head, looking for some kind of communication from his expression. He meets your eyes for only a second before he lets go of you completely, turning away and walking to the other side of the room. 

You stay where you are, granting him space. “Joel? What’s wrong?” He turns to you but his head is bowed. “…Joel?” Anxiety scratches at your heart and you wipe your mouth. 

Sighing heavily, he slowly rubs his hand over his face before finally speaking up, “Look… before we… go any further, I gotta ask…” he leans his hand on the short dresser and when he looks up his expression is unexpectedly serious. “Is there someone else?”

It takes you a couple seconds to put it together, but you ask anyway, just to make sure, “…What do you mean?”

Instantly, he replies, “You know what I mean.” Firmer this time, he repeats, “Is there someone else?” Confounded, you’re tongue tied, and he takes it as confirmation of his suspicions. “There is, isn’t there?” He almost sneers.

The atmosphere has shifted dramatically; just a few minutes ago he was laughing brightly with you, and about thirty seconds ago he was caressing you, amorous and loving.

“Are you joking?” Joel’s face says ‘what do you think?’ and you screw your own face up. “Are you asking me if I have some secret partner?” You ask once again just to be sure. He says nothing, only looks on unrelentingly and puts his hands on his hips, bent knee sticking out. You laugh coldly. “Holy shit.”

Near monotone, he asks, “Why’s that funny?”

“I just—wasn’t expecting this, at all, I mean this is just… do you realize how much of a jackass you’re being right now?” You pause, he says nothing. “Well, I’m not having a fucking affair. Okay? Jesus.” 

Joel huffs, keeping stoney eye contact, and grinds his teeth. You let him brew in the silence. Still, after all this time, you can read him like a book—he has convinced himself that you found someone better while he was gone and have come back only to blow sand in his eyes, and then you’re going to run off to your new, superior lover, leaving him on his ass in the mud. And although he doesn’t want it to be true, he always puts so much faith into awful assumptions, and he hates being wrong. 

You sigh in understanding but speak to him sternly, “Joel, you are making this shit up in your head and just putting it on me. That’s not fair. Don’t do this. There’s no reason to do this.”

Defensively, he suddenly raises his voice, “I jus’ wanna make sure I’m not steppin’ on any toes.” With a bite, he finishes, “I’m jus’ sayin’, if there is someone else, now’s the time to leave.” 

Your expression turns unsympathetic, brow pinched and mouth parted in amazement, and then you counter venomously, “I don’t know who you think I am. I don’t know what kind of twisted version of me you’ve created in your head. Are you trying to call me a fucking slut? That’s the kind of narrative you've thought up? That’s what you’ve been thinking about while I’ve been gone—me betraying you?”

Joel’s eyes are closed and his head is shaking before you even finish, pinching his brow with two fingers, “No, no,”

You cut right back in, “Alright, well that’s what it fucking sounds like to me so I am going to leave now—not to run off to some paramour,” you spit, “but because you’re being a fucking asshole and need to run this one back through before you talk to me again.” 

“W–wait,” He tries, but you’ve already spun on your heel, snatching up your jacket, and rush out with heavy footsteps. You don’t bother closing his front door behind you and don’t look back, not hearing anything either. 

You don’t know this town yet, but you keep the same pace you left Joel’s with and just follow the road, packed white with hard snow. The sharp air makes your eyes water and you swipe your hands at them blurring your vision. Your breaths, fast with your fiery heartbeat, blow steamy clouds like puffs of white smoke. 

You stop the first passerby you see, “There’s a bar here, right?” Your tongue hasn’t fully cooled yet and you try not to sound harsh. You’re almost out of breath. 

“Yeah,” the tall woman’s voice is mousy and she tucks stray black hair into her hat, then turns and points, “just follow this road, you’ll come to Main Street, it’ll be on your right.” As she turns her head back to you she adds, “It’s called the Tispy Bison.”

“Thank you.” you nod, do your best to smile, and continue on.

—

A rush of warm air blows out through the door swinging open and your nose starts to run as you step into the Tipsy Bison. It appears very ‘American’ themed, with its warm, inoffensively red walls, everything country–style wood, and taxidermy wall mounts. Crowning bright soda fridges are neon red Coca–Cola logos. A few lively groups are scattered about, talking and laughing. Blinking into the reality of the massive dining hall, you wipe your nose with your sleeve; it’s so much like the world before and for some reason it intimidates you. As you scan the room, you spot Tommy at the bar and remember you’re thirsty.

He smiles when he notices you approaching but it fades and he furrows his brow as he regards your expression. You slip into the chair next to him and he turns his torso to face you, one arm resting over the back of his seat, the other on the bar with a beer in his hand.

A gravelly voice from behind the bar asks, “What can I get ya?” and you turn to a friendly looking woman with thick, coily hair and dark teeth.

“Surprise me.”

“Gotcha. Comin’ right up.” She smiles and moves away. 

Turning your attention back to Tommy, his brow is still furrowed, as it is most of the time, really, and he bites his lip. “Trouble in paradise?”

You turn forward to rest your elbows on the bar and slide your head through your hands, pulling your cheeks, then resting them on the sides of your head. “Your brother’s being a little shit.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, he’s pretty good at that. What’e’do?”

During the time you’d been with Joel, you became close with his brother, too. Tommy has always been easy to talk to and you pick right up where you left off. It’s nice to have someone to talk candidly to about Joel, and you’re sure he feels the same. 

“Same kind of shit he always does—assume the worst in everyone and stick them with it for no fucking reason.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty classic Joel.” He sips his beer and smacks his lips. “You know he does really love you, though.”

“No, I know, I mean, I can tell even with this,” you remove your hands from your head and turn to him, “he’s accusing me of having ‘someone else’,” you air quote as you confide, “like I’m having a fucking affair. Came outta nowhere.” Looking to the side to blow out a breath, your eyes automatically flick around your surroundings.

“He’s just insecure.”

“I know. It’s not like I’m cutting him off or anything, and I want to stay in Jackson, I just told him to… cool off, in so many words. You know I love him too, I just had to fucking leave.” 

Just then, the voice sounds again beside you, “Here’s that surprise for ya.” She places a short, ribbed glass in front of you, a blood orange drink on the rocks. 

“Thank you.” You immediately take a swig and it’s bittersweet and smooth. 

As you do, Tommy says, “Yeah, good call. He just needs to get checked sometimes, y’know? He��ll figure it out. He’s just… yeah, he’s insecure.”

Looking down into your drink, you add, “He hates himself.” and spin the glass over the smooth bar. “That’s his worst quality. That’s the only thing I would change about him.”

Tommy sighs. “I think what makes it worse for him is how much he loves you.” He shakes his head, “He just gets so damn scared. He has no idea how strong he is, how good he is… I think we see a real different version of him than he does.” You nod. There’s a beat of silence before he continues, “It’s just… loss, y’know? It’s like he just wants’t’ beat it to the punch. He always feels like he’s doin’ sum’n wrong. Always thinkin’ it’s his fault.” 

You nod again. “You said it: he sees a real different version of himself than we do. I just wish I could…” you suck your teeth and turn to him, “I keep trying to talk him out of it, you know? Do you think that works?”

He looks down to think for a while, then looks back at you and concludes, “I think… it’s gotta be him.” 

You nod, “Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

To lighten the mood, Tommy smiles, “Well, don’tchou worry, he’ll be crawlin’ back t’you with his tail between his legs any second now.” You ‘psh’, looking ahead and admiring the warm-toned colored bottles shelved on the wall. Then he adds, “You’ll never lose ‘im, you know.”

You sip your drink and roll his words around with it, full, mellow, but strongly bittersweet. You and Joel had been separated for a long time, wherein all you had was faith, and you gripped that rope tight and never let go, just like he would for you, just like he did for Tommy. Joel has yet to let you down—he’s fucked up many times, but he’s never let you down, because he puts his heart into everything he does; it’s maybe his most admirable and most troubling trait. He loves so hard it hurts, sometimes not just him. You’ll never run out of patience though, because he’s your Joel, and you love him to death. He hit you like a bullet, quick and good, and he’s lodged somewhere inside of you, unretrievable. 

“Speak a the devil.” Tommy’s voice breaks you out of reflection, looking past you, and you turn to see Joel, halfway in the doorway, devastating eyes and all. For a moment you just watch him, awkward in the doorway, admiring his presence, but you keep a straight, neutral face. You look back at Tommy as you take a last swig of your drink and he smiles with understanding eyes. 

Hopping down from your stool and strolling towards Joel, you have to bite hard back a smile, though you’re still pissed. Catching him doing the same, you briefly question why you have to do this dance instead of just leaping back into each other, mixing into your color and staying like that in his bed, which must be so soft and comfortable and warm with him in it. He is so god damn beautiful and it’s been so long that your hands twist nervously behind your back and you feel yourself blushing, so you turn your head down as you near him. You have good reason to show him you’re upset, though—the dance is important. 

“Can we talk?” He asks you, voice entirely soft. 

You look up at him, pause, and then nod. Joel turns back outside slowly and does more than he needs to to hold the door for you.

Winter is near its end but you’ve arrived just in time for a cold snap; the wind has picked up significantly in the short time you’ve been inside, icey and sharp, and you bend your head down against it and hug yourself. Joel starts to put his arm around you but pulls away, glancing at you with awkward steps towards his house. 

“Hold me.” You answer, so he does, arm around your shoulders, curving himself around you as the wind whips. The man is a living furnace, you can feel it even like this. 

—

It’s silent until you’re back in Joel’s house, too cold and windy for any kind of conversation. Adjusting to the indoors, you both blow out sighs, and Joel impulsively helps you out of your coat and hangs it on the peg next to his on the wall by the door. Then he just stands awkwardly; he’s never been good at this. What’s important, though, is that he’s trying. Waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts, you lean against a wall with your hands behind your back. After a moment, he looks around, sucking his teeth, and then moves ungainly to sit in a chair at the table. You follow and sit across from him. More silence, he fiddles with his hands on the table in front of him and grinds his teeth. Under the table, you run a finger back and forth over the wood’s grooves on its apron. 

“Okay,” he starts, then pauses, keeping his gaze on his hands. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounds rehearsed, like he said ‘I’m sorry’ in his head twenty times before he spoke it. “I was wrong. I didn’t mean t’… I mean I’d be pissed too, if you said sum’n like that to me. I know that’s not you. I was jus’… scared,” he wills the word out, looking off to some spot on the floor, “You’re right, I,” he pauses, then motions his hand up in circles next to his head, “I jus’, made this whole story up in my head. I mean we haven’t even talked about, y’know, what’s happened in the past five years. I have no idea what you did or didn’t do, and it’s not my business unless you want it to be. I jus’, I don’t know,” he shifts back in his chair and fiddles with his hands again, “I was just afraid that y’d… forgott’n about me or found someone better or, uhh…y–y–”

Watching him start to fumble over his words, you decide that now is an ok time to cut in, starting quiet and gentle, “I didn’t.” Joel looks at you as you speak, his brow furrowed up. “I never forgot about you. I thought about you every day. I was scared, too, I didn’t know anything about how you were doing or where you were, I didn’t know if I was ever gonna see you again, but I just lived like I would. I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t, I wasn’t able to. And there’s no one better, Joel,” you slide your hand over the table to take one of his. He unclasps them to fold it in and watches his thumb stroke over your hand. “You are the only one. What I feel for you can’t be touched. Even if I tried, I don’t think I could be with anyone else. But I didn’t try. All I did was miss you.”

At that, Joel takes your hand with both of his, taking a deep breath, and then leans in to place soft kisses over your knuckles, peering up at you as he does. A bolt in your core throbs heat into the rest of your body and you feel slightly dizzy. Again, you haven't had any kind of touch like this since the last time you were with Joel, so you’re starving for it, but above all, for Joel. His lips are gentle, his hands are warm and burly folded around yours. 

You slip your hand out of his and get up from the table. He watches you walk to his side to fix your level of separation and he stands and joins you back into an embrace. 

You sink into each other, bodies and minds fusing as if you were never apart. You match temperatures so all you feel is the pressure of his hands sliding up your back, under your shirt. In his hold, your back is arched and your hips are met; there’s barely any space between your bodies at all. You hold onto his face, running your hands over it, messing up his hair, focusing on his lips, letting him do the work on your body. Joel places a hand on the front of your thigh and starts slowly dragging it up. You twitch under it, desire like a lightning storm around under his touch. You nearly jerk into it and he finally slides his broad hand flush between your thighs. Your head falls back and he doesn’t miss a beat, moving his lips on your neck, and it forces a moan out of you. 

“You like that?” He says into your skin, barely out of a kiss, nose pressed against it. 

“Yes,” you whine, “please, oh my god.”

You feel Joel smile into your neck and he nips it. “Jump up.” You do, his hands out and ready to catch your thighs. This was a regular trick of yours and apparently your bodies haven’t forgotten it. As he starts for the stairs, you lean yourself over his shoulder. The placement of his hands are in both the best and worst spot, splayed just barely over every area you want him to touch. You hold onto his neck as he brings you upstairs and laugh when he kicks his bedroom door open, making it bang loudly against the wall. Once you drop back down to the ground, you connect your mouths again and immediately start to strip. While you struggle with the buttons on his shirt he undoes his belt and jeans and then yours. You rip his flannel off of him, annoyed at it, and then slide your hands under his shirt. You feel over his chest, around his back, and up his sides, relishing in it, and he chuckles into your lips before helping you pull it off. He wastes no time on your shirt, loving that you’re braless, caressing your chest, and then pulls you in, pressing your bare fronts together. You moan in the satisfaction of feeling him like this again. His calloused hands run smoothly up your back and on their way down pass briefly under your waistband. You raise him by slipping your hand all the way into his jeans, cupping his hardening cock. He swears into your mouth as you find hold of it. It electrifies you further, having forgotten about this part of him. Quickening breaths deepen the rise and fall of your chest against his.

He pulls his lips from yours and his voice is gruff when he says, “You’re killin’ me darlin’.”

The tone and the way he’s hardening in your hands is driving you wildly lustful and you tell him frankly, voice pitched high, “I want you so bad Joel I love your cock I need you to fuck me,” all of this wet into his lips. 

Immediately, Joel tugs down your pants, but when they’re at your knees, he pulls away to look at you and he says “Boots.” You both laugh breathily and sit down on the edge of his bed—your pants still halfway down—undoing your laces hastily. He finishes first and then helps you untie the laces of your other shoe, both of you chuckling with heavy breaths. You kick them off and then Joel moves in front of you, taking hold of the cuffs of your jeans to pull them off. Once they are, in one swift motion, he opens your legs up with his in between them, and, still standing but leaning over you on the bed, he slips his hand back between your legs. He places it flush against you through your underwear, which would be embarrassingly dirty, but who fucking cares? They’ll be gone soon anyway. Joel’s mouth opens amorously, watching your eyes as you let out a long, embarrassingly pornographic moan at the raw enough contact. He slides down deeper, the heel of his hand pressing lightly and thrillingly on your clit and you gasp into another moan. He grins and then leans his head down to your neck, dragging his tongue up its full length.

“Fuck,” you drawl involuntarily as a shiver runs through you and you hook your arms under his to claw his back. When Joel slides his hand back up between your legs, wetness seeps from your slit. Joel chuckles erotically, his breath over the line of his saliva on your neck making it worse and your legs open wider. The heat under his hand matches that in your chest and your breaths are more desperate in want of him.

Fed up of him taking it so slow, you slide your hands under him and push him up, holding onto his biceps to pull you up with him as he stands, and lick into his mouth. Your other hand goes straight into his pants and under his briefs, teasing him like he had you. When he moans into your mouth you squeeze only slightly and then slowly move your hand up until your thumb comes to the spot just before the underside of his tip. You begin working it like that, teasing him wet and sensitive in your hand. 

Joel pulls his face away from yours, eyes closed, and breathes out “Shit.” He squeezes the arm reached down and moves his hips into your hand. You keep at it, biting your lip watching him. “Ah, oh, fuck,” he mumbles, almost sluring his words, and warns, “If you don’t stop I’m gonna cum,” when you do stop, he groans. 

Bringing your hand away from him, you settle it on his belly and wrap your other arm around his neck to nuzzle your face into it and mumble, “I missed your cock so much, I miss feeling it, I wanna see you cum,”

“Fuck.” Joel states, then commands, “Lay back on the bed.” You do as you’re told, propping yourself up with your forearms behind you on the bed and watch him drop his pants. Finally naked, his cock bounces to flip onto his stomach, reaching just under his belly button; dark curls hide everything else. Your sigh is almost a moan just looking at him, like a meaty roman sculpture of the exemplary man. His brow shadows sultry eyes and, like an animal in heat, you open your legs, peering up at him needily.

He slowly crawls over you and whispers, “Move up for me darlin’,” nodding his head to the side for you to lay properly on the bed, head on his pillow. He reaches past you to click on the bedside lamp and then sits up on his knees, admiring you under the golden–yellow light. He places a large hand on your stomach, adding pressure as he slivers it up to fondle your chest.

You appreciate the sentiment, but you have plenty of time for slow, worship sex, and right now, “Joel please I need you to fuck me,”

Smirking, he growls, “Since you asked so nice,” and lowers himself onto you, kissing sluggishly. He doesn’t bother to remove his face from against yours to take your underwear off, just tugs at them until they find their way to slip off. Then, as he positions himself, your thigh slides over his—it’s small, but something about it makes you sigh sensually.

“You ready for me baby?” Joel asks, hovering his lips over yours.

You could come up with some clever remark but now is not the time, so you simply whine, “Yes, Joel, please, I need you,”

“Yeah?” He says, low and lazy, and then moans softly as he eases his thick length into you. Deep satisfaction flows through you as he fills you up, humming and moaning. Your foreheads press together as you adjust, both your mouths wide open, and Joel’s fist clutches the sheets next to your head. He brings himself back out slowly until only his tip is inside you, and then his free hand clutches your side as if to hold you in place as he reinserts himself and begins thrusting, now only barely pulling any length out before plunging back in. Your lungs jump and clumsy moans pour out of you as the force of it rocks your hips. 

Joel licks your cheek and then, grabbing hold of your hips to keep himself inside you, pulls himself to sit on his knees. Stretching your arms up, you bear yourself to him, and his mouth has yet to close. He bites his lip before starting to fuck you again, both harder and faster, holding your lower back completely off of the bed. 

“Only me, huh?” He says, breaths bumping as he drives himself into you, “I’m the only one that touches you?”

“Yes,” you moan out. 

“You touched yourself, though did’n you?” You answer in the same way, “You thought about me while you did, huh?” 

“Uh-huh,” you sound, high pitched as he starts to fuck you harder. 

“Did it feel this good?”

“No,” your drawn out answer catches with the force of his hips pounding against you. 

Joel’s head falls back as he speeds up and you already feel yourself start to constrict around him. 

“Shit,” he looks back down at you, hums aggressively, and slows his pace dramatically. “No baby, not yet, not yet.” As he pulls out fully, precum flicks onto your stomach and he drops your hips. Back down on top of you, your body weighs into the bed under his and your mouths bond again.

Joel can’t keep his cock out of you for long, though, keeping up messy kisses, each rolling into the next in a flux, he shoves his hand down to slip back into you and fucks a quick tempo that makes the bed creak. One of his hands stays planted on the bed next to your head and the other goes back to hold your hip, pulling you into him with each of his thrusts. Angled slightly up inside of you, he hits a spot that produces a guttural moan from you, and while your mouth is wide open with it, Joel doesn’t quit biting and licking at your lips. 

Your body reacts without you, your hand slithering over him—up his arms, his torso, his back, one landing to grip his hair and the other reaching at his hip. The way he bucks into you now hinders your ability to kiss but your faces rub and touch, sharing the same hot air, moaning over each other. 

After one loud, long moan, Joel pulls out of you again in a swift motion, moaning through pants. 

“Joel why the fuck do you keep stopping,” you slap your palms on his chest in frustration, legs still spread under him. 

“Well I js’ don’t wanna cum too fast,” he answers innocently.

“Joel I have been waiting five years…” he starts to chuckle and you smile, “for you to cum.” You slap his chest again and then decide to take this matter into your own hands, pushing him up to get yourself on top. You straddle him, his cock resting stiff and shining on his stomach. Back up at his face, you look into dark eyes, his lips parted with heavy breaths, and you slide your fingers through his hair, gripping a bunch, silver strands highlighted in the light. Keeping eye contact, Joel’s fingers trail lightly down either of your sides as you sit up, sliding his joystick into your hold, and he hums as you sit down on it. After adjusting to his throbbing size, you come up and back down slowly a few times, and then begin swinging your hips to fuck him. A loud, long moan cracks out of him and he closes his eyes and seizes your hips. You release his hair and instead hold into his thick, veiny forearms like handlebars as you accelerate. He moans, long and loud again, and, keeping up a beat with your hips, you lay down on him, pressing your body against his, and eat the moans from his mouth. He adjusts his hold by wrapping an arm around the middle of your back to hold you down and squeezing your ass with the other as if to help your hips along. To keep yourself stabilized enough to keep your mouths together—you could barely call it kissing anymore, just sliding tongues and lips however you can—you plant your hands on the bed with your arms like you would doing a pushup. 

Even though you’re on top, Joel is in control now, holding you to fuck up into you.

He angles his head down so that your foreheads stay pressed but he can speak, “Fuck babygirl you feel so good, so fuckin’ tight, I fill you up so good, huh? Pussy’s just for me to cum in, huh? All fr’ me? All mine? Can you tell me you’re all mine?” His words and breaths catch with the rhythm of the surging flux of your bodies rolling together. You feel his muscles jolting in his lower abdomen as he drives in and out and those in his arm twitching against your back with the force of it. The way he fills you is carnally satisfying and overdue and you never want it to stop.

“Yes, yes, all yours, all for you, my pussy’s all for you—fuuck—yours, my pussy belongs to you,”

“Thas’ right, babygirl, you belong to me.” He takes your bottom lip with his teeth and pulls your mouth back to roll his tongue into and unfurls his arm around you to grasp a bundle of hair. 

Suddenly, he maneuvers you to flump your back on the bed, bringing himself back on top, and immediately stuffs himself back into you. He grips your hips again to fuck you like he was before, controlling you like a doll, and you grab onto his wrists.

“Fuck, babygirl,” he continues, fucking with an immediately brutal pace, hitting you somewhere deep and perfect but he’s talking over you too much to be able to tell him you’re going to cum, “I was so spolied, I didn’ realize how spoiled I was with this lil’ pussy,” he bumps you hard and rough a couple times to emphasize, “perfect lil’ pussy on my perfect lil’ girl, my sweet girl, so good to me,” Joel tilts forward, keeping himself securely deep between your legs, and releases one of your hips—which you would not be surprised to be bruised exactly in the form of his fingers—to stroke his hand over your cheek, and then gently hooks his thumb in your mouth, pulling your lip out to the side. “Now I get t’ fuck you every fuckin’ night, cause you’re all mine n’ I’m all yours, gonna make you cum every fuckin’ night,” your hips inadvertently lurch against him and you bark a moan and his thumb trails out of your mouth as your head leans back onto the bed. You haven’t had your body move like this in awhile, an animal in and of itself, innately greedy for its mate. Joel sounds almost excited when he says, “Ooh, oh, you gonna cum babygirl?” He sits back on his calves rather than standing on his knees and readjusts his hold on your hips, hands digging into the flesh defining your waist to your hips, and pulls you into his rough, uncoordinated thrusts, driving the entirety of his shaft into you so deep that you feel pressure pushing up in your stomach with each rocking tug. He pants out moans, watching you attentively as your face screws up while you reach your personal crescendo. 

The only time you feel this desperate for something is when you’re about to die—such a blind need, a moment stretched out that you will to continue until you are satiated, and oh does Joel deliver. 

“Go on babygirl, go on n’ cum for me, cum around my cock, be a good girl an’ show me you’re mine, I wanna make you cum, baby cum for me, cum for me,” 

His pleading encouragement is more than enough to pierce the balloon swelling in your stomach, already being bumped rapturously by his manhood. One of your hands is thrown back, grasping at the sheets, the other remaining around his wrist. Your eyes roll back in your head, you suck in a breath and there is a moment of silence, save for the creaking bed, before you break it with a ridiculous, long moan, perceiving only the bursts of ecstasy from Joel’s messy pace, which he quickens with breathy moans. Your contractions around him are dramatic, essentially sucking his dick inside of you like instinct. He pulls you against him and is mostly still besides his hips, which rapidly lurch, drawing out your orgasm to overlap with his. He falls silent again, mouth open and his brow furrowed, eyes also nearly rolled back in his head, as he mechanically glides short in and outs, nearly all of him buried inside of you, pulling back an inch at a time at most as he uses your trembling, sheathlike pussy to stroke out his cum. Then, as his hips jerk forward, leaning into you, and then jerk in again, moans squeeze out of his throat, and he finishes pressed into you. 

Panting, you stay pressed and gaze at each other, more or less astonished. 

“God damn.” Joel is the first to comment.

You laugh, out of breath, feeling him ooze inside of you. “We really get to do that every night.”

“My god I’m in heaven.” He half jokes with a smile, then relaxes your position with a huff, letting his softening length fall out and rest over you. Joel runs his hands up and down your body in two broad strokes, looking you over, then smirks and chuckles breathily. Then he slaps your thighs and simply offers, “Shower?” and laughs as your face lights up.

“Fuck I almost forgot about that!” You grin with wide, excited eyes, and follow him off the bed, squeezing your legs together a little, still filled with his cum, as you walk to the bathroom attached to Joel’s room. You admire the back of him as he turns the squeaky knobs. You can count on one hand how many times you’ve gotten this kind of full view of him; as many times as you’ve been naked with each other, it’s almost always had to have been somewhat ducked and rushed. His back is casually muscular and he has ever so slight love handles. A knee bent outwards shows off a round ass. 

Hearing the water start to spray, you can’t help a giggle, eager, and he twists to you with a smirking grin and laughs. 

“Oh man,” he chuckles as he turns his back, meticulously adjusting the temperature, then twists his head again, looking at you expectantly, “Well come on, then,” and you patter over. He gently takes your hand to lead you into the square stall, and moves behind you to slide the glass door shut. 

There is no need for him to walk you through the process of taking a shower, but he slowly guides you under the spray anyway, and you gasp as it hits you, still heating up, not used to the sensation. You hadn't realized that it’s been so long that you’ve forgotten how a shower feels and it disturbs you slightly, feeling a little feral versus Joel’s domesticated cleanliness, but his light, absent minded smile eases the thoughts out as he walks in a few slow steps, backing you up to join you under the showerhead’s broad spray. He leans his head back, closes his eyes under the water, and lets go of you to smooth his hair back as the water soaks it. When he opens his eyes again, he smiles at you and smoothes his hands over your wet face. 

“Turn around,” he nods, and you do. He stops touching you, leaving you unnerved for only a moment until his hands come back over your upper back, cool soap gliding them over your skin. He squeezes your shoulders lightly and it makes you sigh, then slides his hands over your shoulders, up and down each arm individually, adding more slight, relaxing pressure, and then his hands follow the personal downward design of your body as he shifts his body against your back. Stubble tickles your neck and you giggle as he nudges in to place innocent kisses over your neck while he washes your chest, then slipping soapy hands down your sides to your waist, hips, and what he can reach of your thighs. Humming out a deep sigh, you feel dazed and limp under the hot, deeply relaxing water. Joel embraces you from behind, just resting his face in your neck, standing still with his arms around you. 

Suddenly, you’re hit with the urge to cry. This is the safest you’ve felt in a long, long time. Not only are you in Jackson, a secure compound where you can go see a friend for a drink and take a hot shower with the promise of fresh clothes, but your love is finally with you, solid and warm, holding you with strong arms and gentle lips. You can’t hold it back, and when Joel feels it he removes himself and turns you around. “What’s wrong babygirl?” concern contorts his face. 

Smiling as much as your crying allows, you answer, “Nothing.” 

Understanding, Joel pouts his lips in an emotional smile and pulls you back in, hooking his arms under yours to support your weight, and your arms follow up around his neck. “I know.” You let it go and weep quietly against him. “It’s alright baby. I got’chou. You’re alright, darlin’.” He reassures you. After a couple minutes, you calm, suddenly very tired, barely opening your eyes when Joel pulls away. “Oh, baby,” he chuckles, “don’t go to sleep in the shower. Lemme finish you up real quick, then you can go to bed n’ I’ll get you some new clothes from Maria.”

“No,” you murmur, “don’t leave me.”

“Alright, alright,” he pulls you back in, “I’ll stay with you. I’ll never leave you.” He sighs serenely into the crook of your neck. “You can just borrow some’m my clothes, n’ I’ll talk to Maria in the mornin’. Okay?” You nod. “Alright, baby,” he readjusts his embrace around you, “let’s just get into bed, we can give you a proper shower later. Plenty a time. You can take a shower every day if you want, a hot shower every day. An’ I’ll stay with you every night. Jus’ like like this.” Joel’s hands rub up and down your body, “Warm like this. Every day will be warm jus’ like this now, my love.”

[aziraphales-library]

HI THERE! You do such amazing work, thank you so much!

I was just wondering if there were any chef aus out there? Any tags/rating! Thanks!

Hello, here are some chef fics...

Sometimes it's cosmic, sometimes it's cocktail weiners by myladyclegane (M)

All executive chef Anthony J Crowley wanted was a cider and some time with the girls(of the Golden variety) after his double shift, what he gets is playing savior when his best friend and next door neighbor (and desperate crush) has to unexpectedly host a last minute game night for his awful co-workers.

As Sweet As This by vantablck (G)

One moment, Crowley had a high position at a top Michelin rated restaurant. The next, her career was taking a metaphorical million light-year dive into a lake of boiling sulfur and she was moving back into her small childhood town. Cue Aziraphale, the childhood best friend she’s been pining over since time immemorial. Cue Crowley’s oh so brilliant idea of co-owning a restaurant with her.

Hell's kitchen, heaven's chef by Sani86 (T)

Crowley is a high-strung chef - one of London's best - but his boss Beez is fed up with his tricks. So they hire a mild-mannered blonde chef to keep him in line. Crowley hates the guy. Except that he doesn't, not even a little. --- Human AU, in which they are chefs and idiots.

Trivia Night: A Love Story by MissUnderstoodLyrics (E)

No angst, all fluff and fluffy smut! Crowley just moved to the States and has already been roped into the pub trivia competition for all of the King Street businesses, which they take very seriously. He just wants to work and go home to his cat and his plants, but the promise of free drinks lures him to the first game, where he meets a gorgeous, witty, mischievous angel, and suddenly trivia night doesn't seem quite so bad. A Good Omens Human AU

Recipe For Romance by ranguvar82 (M)

Anthony Crowley would love nothing more than to enjoy a good meal once in a while. Unfortunately, when you're an agoraphobic with severe food allergies, your choices are limited to private chefs. Too bad Crowley's fired every single one. Enter Aziraphale Fell, known for being able to create gourmet meals for even the most discerning palate. Crowley's expecting him to be like every other chef. He's not expecting an angel that will turn his world upside down. Aziraphale has a recipe for everything. Even, maybe, for romance.

Till I Saw You by curiouswriterkr (E)

Crowley is a burned out chef recovering from adrenal fatigue in Tadfield. Aziraphale, a gifted musician with a big, soft heart, happens to be performing one evening at an open mic. Their eyes collide and inevitably, so do their lives, helping each other step into healing, truth and more joy.

Style and Substance by Cabernet_Woebegone (E)

“But y’know, if my boss finds out I’m helping you even a little, they’re gonna throw me out on my ass.” “Yes, I understand it is a bit of a conflict of interest for you… Is there something I can offer you in return? Something you would like?” Aziraphale questioned hopefully. You, Crowley thought loudly as he took a second sip. I want to know if you moan when you kiss the same way you do when you try something delicious. I want to know if your lips taste like Zinfandel. “Yes, actually.” Aziraphale is having difficulty running his restaurant, and it isn't helping that he believes the place across the street is trying to sabotage him. To his surprise, chef Crowley comes to him on friendly terms. Together they come up with an arrangement that could benefit them both. (Explicit rating for chapters 10 , 14 & 17, see tags for description. Please do not record this as a podfic or repost this fic anywhere! Thank you!)

- Mod D

[a-simple-imagine]

mean girls mob au

A/N - forever thinking about my mean girls mob au. where everyone is some sort of career criminal but regina george is the worst one around so here’s some 2am thoughts .

characters - regina, gretchen, karen, cady, janis, damian and reader

WARNINGS - mention of violence, murder, and general illegal activity. weapons mentioned including knives and guns. toxic relationships. mutual obsession. dark themes idk

Regina George. she/her. leader -

she was born into this life. maybe directly her parents. maybe a close relative but either way she has known nothing but riches her entire life. her family is loaded. massive houses. expensive cars. she doesn’t know the meaning of the word struggle because life has just been so easy for her. until it’s not. maybe her father gets arrested for something. or someone close enough for it to have an impact dies. but soon enough reality hits regina that it’s not all pretty dresses and fancy parties. there’s a darker side to it all. her father tried to keep her out of it all but regina is stubborn. and eventually her father realises he needs someone to take over one day. so she’s taught the ropes slowly but surely until mean girl regina george who bullies kids in school and gets everything she wants becomes one of the most lethal women in the country. she’s involved in almost every shady deal that does on around her. drugs. murder. fraud. she’s done it all. it’s the only way to live. she’s very good with a gun but much prefers knives. pretty ones with engraved blades and sleek handles. they’re much more personal. you have to be up close to do any real damage. she likes to see the fear in people. the way their body reacts in their last moments. its a rarity that she deals with things herself but when she does she likes the play with her prey. draw it all out. she loves it. she’s obsessed with the hold she has over other people. some people are desperate to be loved but she couldn’t care less about that. it’s all about control. she wants people to fear her. not a bad word is uttered against regina george. but she’s not alone. she has a crew. and if nothing else, regina george is insanely loyal and pays very very well.

Gretchen weiners. she/her. right hand. -

gretchen is regina’s right hand man. they probably grew up together. her father probably worked alongside regina’s which is how this relationship formed in the first place. they often played together at family barbecues or whatever. through school gretchen knew it was better to stick with regina than be bullied by regina. she knew how ruthless the george family could be. so she’d support regina however she wanted. so from bullying kids to intimidating strangers, gretchen weiners has and always will be right by regina’s side. she would do anything for that woman. all regina has to do is snap her fingers and gretchen would come running. but that doesn’t mean gretchen isn’t ruthless in her own way. she’s the one doing the dirty work. she’s the one making sure everything runs smoothly whether it’s making people disappear or making sure deals go through. gretchen has probably seen much more action than regina. probably killed more people too. she prefers a gun. it puts more distance between what she’s doing but she’ll do anything. although it is all in service of regina. you’ll often find her at the bar in the main club the george family owns. an office upstairs where regina does most of her work. she enjoys getting cheeky cocktails when it’s quiet.

karen shetty. she/her. driver -

now karen met the girls a little later. maybe in high school or maybe a little after. regina probably tried to intimidate her but it never really worked on her. not in the same way it did for others and that was something that caught regina’s eye. now karen is the nicest person around. she is someone who says hi to everyone when she comes in every day. is making cute little friendship bracelets for the bouncers at the club. but her main role is driving. not just a general driver, regina pays boring white men for that, no karen is only for important jobs. she’s absolutely insane behind the wheel. can outrun anyone on the road like it’s child’s play because for her it basically is. she loves playing games. and driving can often feel like a game of cat and mouse. she’s also really handy with a weapon. maybe guns. maybe pretty knives. has a bad habit of causing… accidents but nobody ever stays mad at her. she loves dancing at the club and chatting with gretchen at the bar.

cady heron. she/her. new kid. -

now cady is the new girl in town and therefore has a lot to prove. maybe she gets mixed up with the wrong kinds of people. but she doesn’t stay at the bottom long, no she aimed straight for the top. maybe she had some help along the way. maybe there was a moment where she tried to make deals with regina but they never really worked out. regina never played particularly nice with others. that’s okay though because cady somehow found her way. she leads her own team. but she rules through mutual respect rather than fear at least within her own ranks. she finds a little place to set up shop, her own bar. it’s probably really small but it’ll do for now. but if she wants to stay alive she’ll have to either make nice or beat the competition. and unlucky for her regina is the competition. but she figures the easiest way to destroy regina is to go after the most precious thing in regina’s world.

damien hubert. he/him. bartender -

less important to the world than the others but still plays a role. he’s a bartender. just doing regular bartender work. maybe he has multiple jobs in both regina’s and cady’s places or maybe he’s just in regina’s but either way that’s his primary job. he loves interacting with people can usually tell when people are there for business or pleasure. both clubs work as normal clubs too that regular civilians can attend. he loves a good gossip but more so when it comes from the right kinds of people. he is known for having his ear to the ground. knows everything about everyone and is willing to share any information… for the right price. his side gig is in intel. he sells valuable crime secrets for massive amounts of money. runs a weekly poker night for the scariest/richest people in town. it usually puts all kinds of criminals against each other.

janis imi’iki’. she/her/they/them. artist/art dealer. -

a loner. makes art. probably spends a lot of time in the studio working on original pieces. they’re really talented. maybe they sell under a fake name, maybe they don’t. but they get invited to all kinds of fancy parties for the rich and famous. you can find her works in mansions and town houses but only the mindless drivel that she doesn’t care about. anything important to them is reserved for the people she actually cares about or shared for free through donations or exhibitions. she’s also a renowned art trader. big in the trade of illegal or forged art work. they probably paint a lot of the forgeries. it’s easy work and money. plus scamming rich people is fun. they have a bad relationship with regina. probably started when they were younger. now they just avoid each other or more so janis avoids regina. regina loves to try and provoke them especially if she sees them in her club. they’re probably there to see damien who helps facilitate buyers for their business.

BONUS: reader -

the reader is whoever. maybe this whole world is new to them, maybe it’s not. maybe this runs in their blood but they’ve just never been very good. but the most important thing is that regina is obsessed with you. utterly enthralled. does that mean she’s nice to you?? well, yes and no. she can be really cruel. she probably calls you weak an pathetic. sees you as some whose way out of their depth. likes to make a show of you. humiliate you. she’s probably held a knife to your neck once or twice just to see the look in your eye. she’s in complete control. can do whatever she wants and there’s nothing you can say or do about it. not if you valued your life anyway. she loves to shower you with expensive gifts though. especially clothes and jewellery. likes to see you dressed exactly how she wants. just a little doll to dress up and parade around. but as cruel as she can be regina would also move heaven and earth to make sure you’re okay. everyone knows your off limits. so much as bad word about you from anyone else and she’ll have their tongue cut out. and you go absolutely crazy for it. the dynamic is intoxicating. you love just how far she’ll go. it gives you a level of power that nobody else has. you’re untouchable. everyone is forced to respect you or face regina’s wrath. it takes a while for you to get used to being a part of her world. it was fancy and expensive but also dark and gritty. she tries to keep you out of it. but it’s hard not to notice the little things. splatters of blood. disappearances. you’re not stupid. but you just let it happen because just like everyone else you want to please regina. you want her to like you. to be interested in you. you’re not sure you could go back to before you were the centre of her world. regina teaches you some things like how to defend yourself. maybe how to shoot a gun and it’s exciting. when she’s so close and focused. pressed up against you. guiding your shot. it’s sweet. but you know to some extent that this can’t last forever. something will happen one day. she’ll get killed or arrested or whatever. maybe she’ll have to do something she’ll regret because of you. because while you are her greatest possession you’re also her biggest weakness.