#weeping. i think about this sometimes
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it is a rare and precious thing for someone to choose to know and love every version of you throughout all your years, and to choose to know and love every version of them throughout all of theirs. to have played together as small children and chosen to love each other then, and to sit with each other over 20 years later, still choosing to love each other. it is a very humbling thing and almost difficult to look at directly, in the way that it's hard to look directly at the sun. it makes me feel very small but in a good way. what a gift i have been given in this life to know this
#sometimes i think about it and i just weep because i am so grateful#i never want to take this for granted
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turned 30 yesterday and thought about how incredible it is to be publicly trans in a very prominent tech field, and how amazing the outpouring of support has been. feeling good about life and happy to still be here :)
#incessant meowing#me#and the best part is that i'm not the only public figure trans person#the awful hateful people are still out there for sure but like..... the support is stronger#we are finding community and employment and it's NORMAL#it's still hard sometimes but for the most part i realize that i am just.... /safe/#and the realization hits me like a freight train every time and makes me want to weep with gratitude!#like i'm still here!! i'm still here and i'm not going anywhere!!!#it's bittersweet to think about the fight that went into this and still goes into this#not just for me but every lgbt person in america right now#but i am never ever going to take for granted the fact that i am standing on a mountain built by decades of activism#and i hope i can help pave the path up it for others to follow
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Love that not even a full week my partner watched The Terror they still cried genuine tears thinking about Jopson’s death to where it affected them so bad they’ve saved like a dozen pictures on their phone and now browses Etsy looking for a plushie because, I quote, “I just need a little Jopson. To hold.”
They want to watch it again this weekend
#and I can’t stress enough how LITTLE this person’s online presence is#they have a Facebook just to look at people selling re-enactment kit and that is IT.#plus they have personal family connections to polar exploration and so started with Shackleton and Scott and moved back in time#(I started with the FE when I was 11 so we met in the middle)#so they KNEW everyone was going to die. they KNEW the history of the whole thing#and it’s still traumatised them#I’ll get a text sometimes like ‘thought about jopson at work and almost cried again’#and ‘THEY FOUND THE PASSAGE’#they let me borrow their laptop when they’re at work so I jumped on and found like 20 tabs open on how to make the uniforms and pictures#of Victorian navy uniforms#they want to go to Bath as a NAVAL officer lol#keep in mind this guy has never been as into naval history as I’ve been so. aw lol#but yes I am now trying to obtain a tiny therapy jopson for them#DAVE K WHAT DID YOU DO#THEY STARTED QUESTIONING THEIR GENDER AFTER THIS SHOW. AND THEIR SEXUALITY. THEY SEE LIAM GARRIGANS FACE AND WEEP#THIS PERSON HAS FAN ART ON THEIR COMPUTER. THE TERROR FUCKIN REBOOTED THEIR ENTIRE PERSONALITY#I think this is the only popular piece of media they have ever seen and loved. zulu dawn is their favourite film for reference#that and Waterloo
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#over three weeks now since hes gone#sometimes ill hear a noise and think. ah well there he is. ofc hed be back he wouldnt just leave me like that#like a specific way the wood would creek when hed jump up to his favourite sleeping place. the way his paws sounded against the glass door#the floor when he made his lil tap tap tap walk across the hall.#still haven't put away his boxies or his lil things or his bowls.#i still talk to him like hes lying just out of eyesight in his favourite boxie#we always did my puzzles together (i did the puzzle and he ruined it) and we just started one a few days before he. well.#i miss him all the time everywhere#cant stop crying. but like the curling up on the floor weeping type.#its like missing a limb or part of ur soul lol#collecting his fur like its treasure but then the realisation comes that thats it. thats all ill ever have of him now.#for the rest of my life. just this#and then we're back on the floor weeping lol#but i bought a locket to put some of it in so hes always with me still.#anyway. SUICIDE#bb boy#txt.me#u know the spiel. lets not talk about it i just needed to type it out#bb baby
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me when venti has like 50 million death flags
#✧— aphe's musings.#DON'T KILL HIM HYV LET HIM LIVE#also he doesn't have THATTTT many but sometimes i remember the upside down statue. and the inscription on the barbatos statue in mond.#and the fact that his gnosis is a queen chess piece. and istaroth (whatever is going on with her idk).#everyday i think about the “we will have to fight venti” theory#LIKE. ALSO. HELLO? ARE WE JUST NEVER GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE UPSIDE DOWN STATUE EVER AGAIN?!?!?!?#also mond is very “the calm before the storm”#idk.... aughhhh..... hyv do NOT kill him off i will WEEP
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The post about GitF has briefly revived my Moffat saltiness lol
Every single contribution he made during RTD’s era (aside from Blink) involved introducing a love interest for the Doctor or Rose, I mean come on!
I’m actually surprised he didn’t have Sally reveal she fell in love with the Doctor, but...GitF and the Library episodes are just so out of place 😭right smack in the middle of their respective seasons’ arcs suddenly here’s someone Ten is now apparently in love with and someone he’s going to marry sometime in the future😭 they really do feel more like Eleven episodes
and in s1 with Rose being so...idk how to word it maybe “ditzy” around Jack- like the lines about fainting or getting swept off her feet or how he’s talking to her about a bomb and she’s going “promises promises”
it always rubbed me the wrong way, she didn’t act that way around Adam (if anything he’s the one that fainted lol), Mickey or the Doctor
there was something just so passive about how she was behaving there compared to how fierce she was in ‘The Unquiet Dead’ or “Rose” or “The Long Game”
ok if I don’t stop rambling now I’m going to write an essay haha
#doctor who#anti moffat#anti gitf#moffat salt#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#rose tyler#rtd era#sorry to my followers#for the saltiness coming back#but sometimes i just think about what episodes could have been written in place of those#and i weep for what could have been!!#please 😭#my ramblings
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he doesn't know what this assless boy has done to bewitch such beautiful men and it torments him
I fell off my bed laughing 😭 your tags are so fucking hilarious like legitimately no offense but they're better than your actual replies
None taken I find my own tags delightful and am glad you like them too
#I will put more in the tags than in the actual post sometimes#I abuse them regularly#todo really is Megumi’s number one hater#he is so boring but the most important person in his life (his beloved brother yuuji) is inexplicably enchanted by his bland personality#and flat assed ways. his One True Rival The Most Beautiful Man On That Otherwise Dull Campus Okkotsu Yuuta (guy who barely registers todos#existence and would not consider them rivals if he did) cares for fushiguro like a baby bird. a pathetic and assless baby bird#what about him captivates them so. he is the unsalted cracker of boys and will never reach manhood#todo is fucking shaking terrified of what takada would think if she met him. would she inexplicably approve too. has the world gone mad.#Megumi feels that he was just trying to go to the damn vending machine and everything that’s happened since is unwarranted#todo would be there front row at the itafushi wedding but he’d be like that mother in law who wears white on the occasion#to be clear he doesn’t wear white. Megumi also doesn’t wear white. no one wears white. todos probably shirtless. he is weeping. they are no#tears of joy.
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I'm shy but you're one of my favorite people that I follow on this app. You're so funny and I wish I could be half as clever as you. You've introduced me to a lot of interesting people and ideas! Just wanted to pass on some appreciation on this Saturday night. Hope you're having a good time 🥰
THIS IS SO SWEET, HELLO????
#TH ANKY YOU ??????? OMG 😭😭😭 SHUT UPPP!!!!!!!!#srry the reply was a little late 😭 i literally dont know how to respond appropriately to compliments#IT'S JUST SO NEW TO ME 😭😭 LIKE OMG... URE SRS???#im gonna weep#u are so sweet anon ARGHHHH i put you in my mouth and carry you to safety like a mama gator#'clever' DHUT UPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭#being called smart is like being called pretty to me like omg stopp haha What Exactly Do You Think Is Smart About Me 😼#I LOVE BEING CALLED SMART HEEHEE THANK UUU OMG#being called the stupid friend in all my friend groups has made me a little starved of smartness im afraid#IM SO HAPPY IVE BEEN A WORTHWHILE GATEWAY TO NEW PPL AND IDEAS!!!!#it's such a delightful and sometimes surprising quality abt sharing media!!!#THATS SO COOL TO ME#i hope u continue to find appreciation not just in my blog but wherever u go in life <33#AND U BETTER BE APPRECIATED WHEREVER U GO TOO!!!!!!!#or ELSE !!#i#ted#will Be there 😾...#SRS THO THANK U THIS WAS VERY SWEET OF U 😭😭#ted tumbunity things
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Do you have that beach pic? As I don't seem to have it saved.
oh i absolutely do. i love this photo so much i’ve probably saved it several times skwjsksjdk
look me in the face and tell me this isn’t a couple ;-;
#this is just so intimate#alex is hugging jack with his full body ;-;#and not to mention the fact that they’re practically naked#sometimes i like to think about all the cute couple pics they took together that they didn’t share#and weep about it#jack#jack barakat#alex#alex gaskarth#jalex#all time low
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wdym everything is dedicated to TAV? Dark urge has waaay more dialogue option and story than TAV and can romance any companion that TAV can. You just want gortash to be shipped with Dark Urge for your own preference.
Yes, and?
I have better taste than you. This has already been established. Some of us eat steak and some of us eat shit.
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#enver gortash#dark urge#durgetash#the catering to tav players single handedly annihilated any chance bg3 mightve had to tell an actual story#i sometimes weep when i think about previous baldurs gate games and how much better the story of those games are#because the fucking writers had some goddamn balls#but sadly larian lost theirs during the early access#so we get this shambling frankenstein mess of player demands#bg3 is what happens when you listen too much to your fans
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I don’t think you truly understand how BAD Mrs. Maas’s fantasy books and the booktok copycats she spawned are until after you’ve broken out of that bubble. I genuinely enjoyed how unique Nobody’s Goddess was along with Noll being a refreshing protagonist, am living it up with The Promise of Aferi: The Wolf Queen Book 2, and I can’t wait for Beasts of Prey. Like I forgot how genuinely GOOD fantasy can be.
#I’m reading a mix of political theory and fantasy books to balance each other out (yes I am FINALLY finishing Discourse on colonialism)#But anyway the difference between these fantasy books and Maas’s is JARRING#Ofc my running theory is that with all of my current and tbr fantasy books having Black protagonists the standards are higher#so they have to be written better to even be allowed a chance in the white dominated publishing market#bookish rambles#Sometimes I think about Feylin's potential in the hands of another author#and I weep
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thinking about how human bunny mask is as a character again, despite being something that is clearly so different from us as a whole. because one thing that she is known for is NEVER wanting to give up, and yeah, this does have its flaws as well — but it's also good because this especially translates into being a caring friend. and i say this because you could be having the absolute worst day of your life + want to give up on everything, but bunny mask won't let you do it because she isn't going to give up on the idea of you being a valuable addition to this world... as she truly would think that of her friends and even strangers who are extremely down-on-their-luck
#SOMETHING FEELS AMISS: musings.#I AM HERE BECAUSE I AM BUNNY MASK: character study.#just thinking about the idea of someone not believing they could do something BUT bunny mask believing in them has me-#WEEPING because she sees both the beauty and the darkness in mankind + although her belief in the darkness of it might seem more-#prevalent at times... bunny tries to be hopeful for other people i think because she understands more than ever now how difficult it is to-#go through life as although we might have friends and family we can still feel VERY alone. and it may be tempting to give up sometimes#but bunny mask ain't gonna let anyone do so on her watch okok ✋️❤️#tw: negative thoughts.
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if i didn’t cry to fall out boy at 3am, would i even be myself?
#like that’s not even a worrying thing or anything bc i always cry to fall out boy#it’s like a ritual#honestly sometimes i need to listen to fall out boy to work out my emotions and sometimes i just need to listen to them in general#as patrick stump once said: i’m not a cry baby i’m thee cry baby x#they give me a knock about the head and get me through it#pete wentz was writing the most heart wrenching shit and thinking he was gonna die when he was barely older than i am now#and i’m sat here weeping to those same songs nearly 20 years later#literally realised today that cork tree is 20 next year#hello??? the album that got me through my teenage years???#i say that as if almost every album didn’t get me through my teenage years#or just life in general#if no one got me i know those boys from chicago got me ✊🏻#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could#i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people 😭 like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point#she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK#and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH#that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.
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[If you ever do any ship commentary stuff with our ship and it seems I'm lukewarm to it on the dash please know that I am not fdsfdsfsdf. I am always super hyperaware of people's feelings (other ship partners) and don't like making it seem like I'm putting another ship front and center -- unless it's something in canon, like with Nef, for example, which I occasionally ramble about but everyone knows this--]
#me being really sensitive: I hope no one thinks I think our ship is unimportant /okay#I think about this sometimes even though this isn't an actual issue I'm just baby and it came to mind -WEEPS-#but really I tend to like posts and comment on the post itself#but dash commentary related things don't tend to happen on my end#with that unless it's ozy being a headache / it's something general
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I LOVE SCIENCE EDUCATORS
#retired old dudes (gender neutral) who are extremely passionate about their field#bugs or astronomy or whatever#my BELOVEDS#i just made a new friend can u tell :D#we tag-teamed telling ppl about astronomy tonight#he def knows more than me but has a hard time recalling words sometimes#and i know just enough to be able to chime in when he forgets something to give vocab or clarification#he's mostly a bug guy professionally but he's an amateur astronomer#we were supposed to b showing ppl the moon tonight but there were suddenly too many clouds ;-; weeps#anyway im home now and im fucking. BUZZING. with energy#i think im an extrovert but only for science communication#so maybe im just autistic. lmao.
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