#weeping crying biting a wall etc

[sweetmilkbread]

Shiv and Roman, Succession / Dustin Pearson, 'The World at it's Beginning'

[goldenseresinretriever]

Snitches Get Stitches: Chapter 7.5

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: Jake Seresin, golden boy of the NHL and Captain of the Dallas Stars makes headlines when he unexpectedly signs with newly-formed San Diego Dogfighters. When your future seems at the verge of crashing down, you receive the opportunity of a lifetime to become the team physician for the Dogfighters. You never expected to be working directly with your favorite hockey player. Jake has a secret and you have a job to do. Will he be able to trust you enough to help and will you be able to trust him with your heart?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, violence, sports violence, medical stuff, blood probably, angst, fluff, (eventual) smut, forbidden romance, sexual harassment, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

Jake fucked up. He’s fucked up, royally, he thinks even as he holds the girl of his dreams in his arms. You’re weeping into his chest and he’s holding you tight because no amount of self-control could make him leave you when you’d looked at him with tears in your eyes, reaching out for him. Asking him to stay. He can’t stay as long as he wants to, of course, but he’ll be damned if he left you while you were crying. This was all his fault. He lost control. He kissed you. He does his best to ignore the way you kissed him back with just as much hunger and desperation. It was the heat of the moment, it had to have been.

All he can think about is that night in the car on the way back from Mav’s, and you begging him to keep things professional between the two of you, that not only your job but your entire career could be put in jeopardy. And now that he knows the whole truth? He can’t bear to put you through that again. Especially when he has even the slightest idea how it feels. You’re a brilliant physician, you care about your patients. The world needs more doctors like you. The world needs you, period. Not to mention the fact that you’ve worked too hard for too long to justify ripping that all away with his greedy hands.

And god is he greedy. Here he is, holding you in his arms, buried against his chest, when he should be pulling away, putting a respectable amount of distance between the two of you before he leaves and tries to figure out he’s going to act normal tomorrow. Like he doesn’t know how you taste. Like he’s never heard your little whines and whimpers of pleasure as you writhe in his lap. He bites back a groan at the memory.

Greed. And then he’s imagining that bastard doctor’s hands on you. He’s doing anything he can to not physically tremble with rage but with how hard you’re shaking, he’s not sure you’d notice anyway. You said he only kissed you but Jake can’t help but wonder what more could have happened if someone hadn’t found you. He clenches his jaw in fury, pulling you closer to him. Greedy, greedy.

He shouldn’t want you, he tells himself. He tries to think back to the wall behind your bed, though shrine is probably a better word for it. It’s not even just a wall for the Stars, no it’s all him. His photos, his signed pucks, his fucking jersey for God’s sake. The girl who kissed him back wanted Jake the hockey player, not this Jake, the one standing and holding you and wanting to protect you from anything that could cause you pain even if it’s him. Especially if it’s him. That’s what he tries to tell himself even as he pictures the betrayal in your eyes as he accused you of just that. The disgust in your gaze but more than that, the pain, that he would think so little of you. And the way he watched your heart break for him as he told you why he really left Dallas. Because you know, you told him, you know what it’s like to have everything you’ve worked so hard for, everything you are, reduced to nothing by nothing more than someone else’s greed. And now here he is, greedy. Desperate to take everything he wants from you. Desperate to give you the whole world if that’s what you want if he’s what you want. He wants to scoop you up in his arms and put you up on a pedestal where you belong, where nothing can touch you, or hurt you. But he knows it’s not that simple because that wouldn’t be giving, not for you. That would be taking. Taking your love. Taking your job. Taking your career. Taking your dreams. And he can’t do that, not to you. No matter how much he loves you.

So he pulls away, doing his best to control himself at the sight of the uncertainty in your eyes as he says. “I think I’m gonna get an Uber home, Bunny. You can keep the truck until tomorrow.”

He watches your heart shatter through your watery eyes and all he wants to do is drop to his knees and take it back, to pick up every broken piece and spend as long as he needs to put you back together.

“You’re leaving?” Your voice is weak and almost unfamiliar from the one he’s fallen so deeply in love with and now his heart shatters, both your broken pieces a gruesome mosaic on the entryway floor.

“I-I just need some space right now, Bunny. I need to think about all of this, about us.” He can’t help the way his voice breaks. He doesn’t have it in him to be strong right now.

You nod. “No, you’re right, that’s totally fair. I just- Jake I just want you to know, it was always real for me.” He stumbles backward at the implication of your words. You swallow, looking up to meet his eyes and he can see your sincerity. It’s dizzying. “But whatever you decide, I’m always going to be your physician first and I intend to keep my promise about getting you back on the ice because it would truly be a loss to the hockey world if you never played again.” You reach out to squeeze his hand and he has to hold back the sob lodged in his chest, just behind his heart. “I can drive you home if you want?” He’s completely numb, shaking his head gently.

“Not tonight, Bunny. I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?” His voice is rough and gravelly, but he doesn’t have it in him to care that the mask he’d been desperately holding together with both hands is coming apart at the seams. You nod silently and he can’t hold himself back as he steps closer and places a gentle kiss on your forehead as the first tears start to gather behind his closed eyelids.

He makes himself pull away and turn around, heading out the door. The door has barely shut behind him when the tears finally escape. He swallows the best he can before he jogs towards the stairs, digging his hat out of his pocket, trying to cover the evidence as the first sob knocks the breath out of him before ricocheting off the walls of the stairwell as he races away from you.

[stormyoceans]

Hi Monica! To add something else to your wonderful assumption, Mork cleaning the fish tank, taking out the already settled dirty water, changing its environment, refilling it with clean water is a way of telling that Mork coming to Day's life is a new start for him. Just like the fish and it's tank Day's life will now get changed, out of the settled familiar water, into the fresh, new, clear life where he get to breath oxygen for his soul feeling like a brand new person etc and that's BEAUTIFUL

BRITNEY YEAH GIF EXCEPT WITH WAY MORE SOBBING SHAKING CRYING WAILING WEEPING HOWLING THROWING UP BLOOD

YOU ARE SO RIGHT ANON AND IT REALLY IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONCEPT LIKE. there is something in the image of mork helping day to clean the aquarium that feels so caring, so tender, the way he's not afraid to get his hands dirty also a metaphor of him not being afraid of dealing with the side of day that may be less pleasant. he meets day at the lowest point of day's life, at a time where day is angry and depressed and pushing everyone away, but instead of being put off by it he sits down next to day, on the same level, and starts helping by doing things WITH him rather than for him. like you said, mork scrubs the fish tank clean and refills it with fresh water just like he chips away at day's walls and coaxes day into trying new things, and by doing that he's gonna step out of his own bubble too

THEY'RE GONNA CHANGE EACH OTHER'S LIFE SO COMPLETELY I FEEL SO UNWELL ABOUT IT [BITES OFF CHUNKS OF DRYWALL AND CHEWS THROUGH THEM]

[exosmutfactory]

Reckless Abandon

— Pairing: You & Baekhyun

— Genre/AU: smut,

— Word Count: 2.3k

— Rating: 18+ (M)

— [ Contains: ;) choking/breath play, sub/dom themes, etc. ]

❥ I’m blaming this song for everything, I was just minding my own business and here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

❥ ❥ ps: angry sex doesn’t fix everything - it is fun though

ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥ ღ♥ღ♥ღ♥

"You think you're so fucking cute."

"Shut the hell up, B." You sigh, roughly letting down your hair from its extravagant up-do. The array of pins and accessories clattering to the white surface of your vanity.

"No." His shake of head is clear in the view of the mirror,  black hair ruffled and broad shoulders hastily coming out of his black blazer; jaw visibly clenched. "No, I won't."

You sigh through your nose, searching for a makeup wipe, "You're so annoying."

"And my oh-so-beloved girlfriend likes to strip in front of everyone."

Red colors your damp cheeks as you recall the wardrobe malfunction you had earlier on in the night. One misplaced step on the trail on your floor length dress from a passerby and the room full of elegantly dressed women and men alike got a bigger glimpse at your physique than either of you could appreciate. Did he think you did that shit on purpose!? Who's the one that has to live with more regret? Who had to duck out of the room at the risk of crying in embarrassment?

"You're the one who fucking picked the dress." Your voice has lowered to that dangerously deep tone of bubbling anger as you step out of the long garment, turning around only to be met with his back. Vocal chords straining painfully despite the calm volume because of the previous screaming match you couldn't help yourself from partaking in on the way home. You should stop, but you're seeing too much red to give a damn.

"Not for you to be a slut in front of my associates." He chuckles humorlessly, tugging off the loose tie around his neck; the words falling nonchalantly off of his lips. You aren't seeing red at this point, you're seeing murder, and his name is on the god damn casket.

"What did you just call me?" Your matching chuckle is anything but a good sign, palms aching from the strength you’re using to clench your fists; holding yourself back from touching him. Who knows what will happen then, you rarely reach this level of rage towards the man of your endless affection.

He doesn’t even move, frozen as if just coming to terms with what came out of his mouth. His lack of response spurs you on to cross the room with impatient strides, tugging his shoulder back. "I'm fucking talk-"

You wince as your back collides with the wall, glaring up into equally furious eyes with your narrowed ones, "Get off of me, Byun."

His lips quirk up, it's more of a snarl than a smile as he crowds your space. "Or what?" He muses, stepping forward just enough to cage your body fully against the wall. The way his hand holds your own above your head and the all too familiar bulge pressing into your stomach falters your words; train of thought slipping away at the new look swirling in his dark brown eyes.

"Or…" You utter, gaze not straying away from his own. "I'll fucking kick you-"

He swiftly grabs your leg before you can do any damage, wrapping your thigh around his waist before slamming his hips to yours. The sudden contact between your bodies and your back into the wall pulls a gasp from your shaky lips, stomach turning at the pleasant ache it leaves behind.

"You were saying?" Baekhyun murmurs with a roll of his hips, smirking down at your speechless form. He adjusted his hold on your thigh, leaning to whisper in your ear, "Do you need me to remind me who you belong to?"

You grit your teeth, "I belong to mys-self-" you stutter, not expecting his hand to slip inside your panties so suddenly.

"You sure?" Humor is clear in his voice as he swipes his fingers between your slick folds, the lewd noise it admits making you flush all the way up to your ears. "This cunt sure is saying something different."

"Fuck you." Your voice has softened as well, in tiredness or lust, you do not know. But the knowing look on his face makes butterflies swirl in your stomach, having to bite your lip when his fingers slowly drag up to your clit, merely resting against the sensitive bud.

"Maybe if you ask nicely-"

"Never in a million years." You hiss despite the arch of your back.

Baekhyun pauses, looking over your flushed form for a moment. He licks his lips before meeting your eyes again, hosting you up into his arms without a word.

You barely get a grip on his shoulders by the time he's throwing you onto the bed, crawling over your disoriented form on the white silk sheets.

"I guess," He mutters going in for a kiss, hands focused on groping your breasts and twisting your nipples between his nimble fingers, pulling on them just enough for you to whimper, "You need more."

His warm palms slide down your body in the most agonizingly slow pace. You're already panting for breath under his thorough touches and unrelenting lips. He pulls off your panties with ease, spreading your thighs widely over his own.

"So compliant," He murmurs leaning back, eyes trailing over your naked form spread out for him. "Tell me, where did your fighting spirit go, baby?" His fingers slips effortlessly within your wetness, fingertips rubbing slow circles around your clit; watching you try not to squirm with keen eyes. "Hmm? Cat got your tongue?"

All you can do is bite your lip, refusing to respond while directing your gaze to the ceiling. Yelling when his palm roughly slaps your wet core.

He tsks at your thighs trying to close, tapping them, "Keep those open." His voice has that no nonsense tone, one you'd rebuke against if he wasn't palming you firmly, fingertips teasingly dipping into your entrance. "And keep those pretty eyes on me."

A roll of said eyes brings forth another slap, his other hand wrapping around your neck. Your breath hitches, eyes locked on his own, the soft caress of his thumb over your pulse point making you clench on nothing.

"Look at this soaked pussy," He murmurs, watching his fingers slide into your clenching walls with ease, curling them up just enough to make your thighs shake. "My cock will slide right in."

You're drawing blood at this point stubbornly trying to contain yourself, pressing yourself the tiniest bit into his coaxing hand.

"My lady doesn't feel like talking, huh?" His tilt of head doesn't match the mischievous look twinkling in his eyes; not breaking eye contact for a second while gripping your thighs, pushing your knees towards your chest.

You gasp, meekly holding the back of your legs up, feeling yourself blushing all over again at such a vulnerable position. Baekhyun's eyes greedily drinking up the view of your body on display.

"Look at you…" His thumbs part your folds, wicked tongue swiping over his bottom lip before he's leaning down to your core, warm breath making you tremble. "Who else could make your pussy this wet, baby?" You feel more than see the swipe of his tongue up your folds, moaning shakily when his lips wrap around your poor clit.

"Hmm?" His hands grip your waist, fingers digging into your skin as you squirm under the strokes of his tongue, little gasps and whimpers streaming like a waterfall from your lips. A messy mix of your arousal and his saliva is already dripping down to the sheets below. "Who else eats this sweet cunt like I do."

"B-Baek," You can feel that coil in your stomach beginning to snap, eyes squeezing shut and body tensing in preparation only for the warmth of his mouth to disappear.

"Hmm? What baby?" He sits back up, wiping his glistening  mouth and chin with the back of his hand despite your protests. "You talk all that shit and think you deserve to cum on my tongue?"

An acute feeling of anger flares up inside of you, squashed down the second you part your lips by the feeling of his bulge pressed against you, only a whimper escaping much to your disappointment and his glee.

"Does my baby want something?" He muses, fingers tapping rhythmically on your shaky inner thigh; pining his hard on more firmly against your weeping core. "Hmm? What do you want, honey, tell me."

"I-I," You squeeze your eyes shut; between the ache between your legs and his fully clothed form leaning over you, you know that this isn't a fight you can win. Baekhyun already has you right where he wants you; under him, hyper sensitive to his every touch. But-

Your eyes flutter back open, swiftly shoving him back with your foot on his chest. Settling into his lap before his shocked form can sit up from the bed. "We are talking about this." You murmur, pushing up his shirt and circling your hips, tucking your fingers under the waistband of his black slacks as he quickly pulls the white material over his head.

Baekhyun's lips part, but you just grind harder against him. "T-Tomorrow." He gulps, helping you remove his pants and boxers all together.

It's your turn to hum, smirking down at him while holding his cock in your hands, teasingly twisting your fingers around his sensitive head. Your thumb ever so slightly dipping into his slit to make him wince, his tip weeping even more precum. "Never forget, baby." You meet his eyes, feeling powerful at the bounds of desperation and need swirling within those fierce brown orbs. Leaning to nibble his earlobe, "I can make you just as weak in the knees."

He continues to silently give you those eyes, groaning when you slip his cock around your wet folds, seeming to harden even more in your palm.

You've been with him long enough to know he won't beg. No matter how hard he is or how much your arousal soaks the sheets, he'll still be the most stubborn man you’ve ever known. So you take the liberty of lining him up with your clenching entrance, taking your time sliding down on him; biting your lip at the stretch as he throws his head back. Adam's apple bobbing in his elegant neck. The clear expanse of skin invites you to mark it all over with the shape of your lips, and you do so willingly.

“Move,” He mutters, tightening his grip on your waist, jaw clenching when you clamp down on him.

You lean back a bit, merely raising a brow. “I’m sorry, what was that?” You leisurely lift up to the tip of his cock, sliding back down at a snail’s pace. “Who’s on top right now?”

“Who’s getting ready to end right back on the mattress?” He raises his head from the pillows, black strands of hair already sticking to his forehead. The message in his eyes is clear: move or I’m doing it for you.

You smile sweetly at him, a complete 360 from the way you brace yourself on his firm chest, slamming yourself down on his cock with a vengeance. “You sure are needy,” You murmur in wake of his barely contained grunt, continuing with the slow yet brutal pace. His cock pulses every time it’s deep in your snug walls, making you laugh. “Are you sure you’re gonna last?”

Baekhyun practically growls, strong arms wrapping around you before your back meets the sheets once again. “Had your fun, baby?”

The satisfied smirk is promptly wiped off your face when his fingers venture back to your clit, grip tight on your hip as he tilts them up to better accommodate him, head of his cock grinding right up against that spot deep within your spasming core.

“So brave drenching my cock,” His lips hover right over your ear, uttering even more filthy things as he pulls a yelp from your dry throat, snapping his hips into yours. Slender fingers relentlessly flicking your clit as he picks up the pace. The obscene noise of his cock slipping within your soaked walls and his balls slapping against your ass brings you close to the edge. A loud moan falling from your lips when his hand once again wraps around your neck, adding the slightest pressure to make you breathless. “Be a good girl and fucking take it.”

There’s not much you can do besides call his name as he pounds you with reckless abandon into the sheets, wrapping your thighs tightly around his waist as you grow close. “B-Baek,” Your eyes fall shut, turning your head away when he swiftly lands a slap on your clit.

He’s not far off either, breath hitching between his gruff grunts and quiet moans, hiding his face in your neck while your hand tangles in his hair. “Come for me.”

Between his fast pace and dexterous fingers, you’re coming undone in seconds, roughly tugging on his damp black strands and clenching around his cock like a vice.

Baekhyun gasps, easing the pressure off of your neck before he’s trembling above you, hot spurts of his warmth filling you up as his sloppy thrusts slow to a stop.

You both lay there for a while catching your breath, your fingers lightly gripping his hair. “...Baekhyun?”

He sits up at the sound of uncertainty in your voice, looking you over for a moment before tucking your hair behind your ear. Swiftly changing your positions with you held to his chest.

You gasp a little at the sudden movement, whimpering as he groans at the way you clench around him again, feeling him stir within your walls. “Baek, w-what-”

“Let’s stay like this,” He mumbles, arms tightening around you when you attempt to get up.

You pause, taking a good look at him, “You’re still inside of me.” Your nose crinkles slightly at the reminder, feeling the tell-tale sign of his cum dripping down your trembling thighs.

“Of course,” He hums, firm hand sliding to your ass and pressing you down further on him; the messy glide of it pulling another whimper from your lips along with his low toned words. “Have to make sure my girl remembers who she belongs to.”

[numbaoneflaya]

3, 5, 14, 32, and 42 for Thurwen, 9, 12, 25, 44, and 79 for Espira, and 14, 79, 18, and 70 for Valkya? :)

LETS GOOOOOO

Thurwen!!

3. How do they dress?

She wears her warden armor most of the time, maybe not all the heavy plate but she likes to have the weight of it on her. She finds it comforting plus it lets ppl know not to fuck with her. When she's not wearing a warden insignia ppl still mistake her for a servant sometimes and that doesn't end well for anybody :/ When she's not wearing any armor or insignia at all she dresses pretty plainly- maybe a tan tunic with cropped sleeves to show off her arms and brown laced breeches with a pocketed belt loosely slung over it. No jewelry except the warden's oath amulet and maybe some sharp rings that both show her station and give an extra bite when she punches someone in the face.

5. How big is their family?

On the small side? For a long time it was only her, her dad and her cousins Soris and shianni. Sometimes but not often met with her aunts and uncles but travel is expensive from alienage to alienage so only for very important events like funerals or weddings. Now that she can afford to pay for travel she meets with them more often and pays for their travel too- she's met a lot more family and has made it a point to get them all together more often. And with Soris married and having kids soon it's especially important to her to stay in the picture.

14. How do they react to someone dying?

She's definitely more on the stoic side of things- you'll get no wailing or weeping from her but she will cry if she knew them well, as silently as shes able. Plays more the role of comforter for other people reacting to the death, will postpone her own reaction until she's alone. If it's someone she really cares about it will be more like she's choking on her tears and will excuse herself to scream into her hand, bite her arms and punch trees and headbutt the wall until it passes and she's left on the ground bleeding.

32. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break?

I wouldn't say she gets stronger but she definitely doesn't break. She's had to make a lot of difficult decisions in her life and she's never backed down from it or refused responsibility for anything. Probably takes too much responsibility for things and makes difficult decisions for others when they're unable, then deals with the consequences herself.

Espira!!

9. Why is their name, their name?

She was named after her great aunt on her dad's side who died defending their home during wartimes

12. How do they cope with struggles?

More likely to turn inward and spend more time alone, kind of unintentionally secludes herself. Prone to overthinking. Once shes become aware of this shes more likely to go to others for advice, people she knows and trusts. When shes feeling really unsure will hike up to the throat of the world and have a chat with Paarthenaux, who she considers like a grandpa.

25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work?

Ooooh she would definitely prank her little brother Riley. She needs some help setting it up, though. Years of his prankster antics have to be repaid in full. Shed want to do something really elaborate and multi staged, something that ends with him covered in chicken feathers and dangling upside down.

44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar

She speaks fairly quietly but it has the kind of effect that makes people quiet down and want to lean in to hear more of it. Soft spoken and puts a lot of care into her words. Kind of has a.. Dragony deep aspect to it? Kind of the undercurrent of a rumble when she gets angry, like a thunderstorm held underneath it. Idk how to explain it but she speaks quietly because her voice is very unique- she is the dragon born, and you really dont wanna hear her shouting.

79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves?

She cares about everyone because that's who she is, but at the top of that list are Serana and the kids and Riley. She'd do anything for them.

Valkya!!

14. How do they react to someone dying?

She feels…. Something?? It really varies on the time and who it is. Over so many years shes seen more death than any of my other ocs and with that comes a certain amount of separation. Used to be a lot more empathetic but shes become so detached from the very idea of death shes just kind of like “oh hot girl bummer :/” gsdgseh. Valkya now is a very different person from freshly 30 year old valkya before the whole immortal thing. At her worst when shes in a totally drugged up state and cares about nothing besides pleasure she treats it like a game and has no pity or real care about mortals who drop like flies. In her better states shes more respectful about it and is capable of feeling deeply for those the deceased leave behind. It depends on how shes doing!

79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves?

Valkya is both obsessed with herself and hates herself, so yes and no. She used to care about everyone deeply way more than herself, but watching everyone she cared about die? Seeing that no matter what she does everyone dies and theres nothing she can do? She tries not to care about people anymore, just Dem and Hakon. Shed give herself up back to Coldharbour if it meant they would be okay.

18. What flaws do they have?

Oh lord, let's go. Self obsessed. Martyr complex. Loud, obnoxious. Capable of great apathy and cruelty. Hero complex. Starts fights for entertainment. Brash. Loudmouthed braggart. Cocky, arrogant, hedonistic, immature, lewd, inserts herself wildly into other peoples business, gossip, nosey, etc.

70. Do they like themselves?

Complex question, yes and no. She used to like herself fine, but over the years it's evolved into both an intense love for herself and an intense hate which coexist unhealthily. Both thinks shes the best in the entire world and the worst to ever exist. Will never admit to hating herself unless shes entirely wasted though, otherwise its all only the self adoration she exaggerates to cover her insecurities.

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Kit Berker AGE & BIRTH DATE. 35 & July 19th, 1986 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/him SPECIES. Werewolf OCCUPATION. Unemployed FACE CLAIM. Serkay Tütüncü

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: domestic abuse, gore ) Kit was born in Harlan, Kentucky to Abigail and Arthur Weiss. His mother worked at one of the highway diners all day while his father worked in the mines. Mostly anyone under the middle class made a living working in the Harlan Hills. The moment that Kit was the legal age he joined right up with his father. Coming home covered in coal dust and dirt, smoking a cigarette and nursing a beer on the porch. Kit was so tired most of the time that it became real easy to tune out the yelling and screaming of his parents having their nightly domestic. Often ending with a crash of something breakable and his mother weeping in the bathroom with a glass of wine. Harlan County was the kind of place where you don't ask too many questions and you don't stare too long. Everyone kept to themselves, you certainly did not confront your neighbor who you saw coming home late last night covered in blood, and you absolutely did mention a troubled marriage. Everyone knew what was going on; nobody dared say anything. The worst was in church with the side eyes and whispers. 

When Kit turned Twenty-two his father was killed by his mother. Across the dining room table, a beautiful dinner was laid out. His father on one end, his mother on the other. He was talking too much, saying derogatory things. “You’re worthless, you call this food?. What kind of a woman are you?” etc. She must have finally had it and let a shotgun shell cut straight into Arthur’s head. Brain matter and blood splattering the window behind him. Kit hadn’t been home at the time and ended up finding out after getting off a shift at the mine. Called down to the police station, the scene was described to him and told that his mother wouldn’t be going to prison. On the account of claiming it was self defense. Everyone in Harlan County knew she was being abused. It was just a matter of time before she lost it. 

Living under the same roof as his mother was uncomfortable, sure Kit loved her and understood entirely why she did what she did. But there was some tension and uneasiness that Kit would feel whenever he would sit across the table from her in the same spot where his dad got his brains splattered on the dining room window. So he left, quit his job at the mine, took all his savings and headed North. Finding a job up there wasn’t hard. Getting himself sorted on a ranch that raised livestock, most of his duties were fixing things and herding the cattle too and from grazing grounds. The owners were especially nice to him, and they ended up getting pretty close. They were a younger couple who inherited the farm from their family and just needed help around the place since it was such a large property. Kit happily obliged, and of course the paycheque helped. There were a couple of ‘em, people looking for jobs that paid mostly under the table, but they were all good folk. 

There were predators that would come and pick off the cattle now and again, most of the time it was just pesky coyotes who were easy to scare off. But a couple mornings, the farm hands would stumble across the corpse of a cow ripped apart by something much bigger. Everyone assumed it was a bear, and night patrols were set out in the evenings. Armed with a rifle, Kit headed out on his own, riding a horse around the property. Keeping the cows herded closer to the homestead. He could remember the moon being at its peak when his horse started acting strange because he could clearly see the fearful whites of the horses eyes as he was flung from it’s back and hit the ground with a hard thud and snap. His hand catching his fall and snapping under the pressure, letting out a painful cry and holding the broken wrist against his chest, eyes rising to watch his horse running off in the opposite direction, gaze trailing to the tree line where he spotted two yellow orbs staring straight at him. Everything after that was chaos, he tried to get up to run but his legs felt like jello, he went to grab his rifle but it was impossible to hold right with only one hand. The thing got closer and closer, a low growl emitting from it’s form. From a distance, Kit thought it was just a regular wolf, but as it got closer it got bigger and bigger. A massive beast that could fit Kit’s entire head in it’s mouth if it wanted. He clumsily fired off a shot that hit the wolf in the leg, it didn’t even flinch. Lunging at the man who was now helpless on the ground. 

Kit could remember a lot of pain in his arm before blacking out, found only half an hour after the attack since the ranchers heard the gunshot. Miraculously they managed to get him to the hospital without him bleeding out. In the emergency room for only a few days before the large bite wound in shoulder was on it’s way to being completely healed. “A miracle” the doctors and nurses would explain to him as he finally came to with what happened. No matter how much he insisted he could go back to work, the kind owners of the farm wouldn’t allow it and said that he should take the month off after a scare like that. But as the days went by Kit was only feeling stronger and stronger, like a second wind was breathed into him. He left the hospital a week later when they could no longer rationalize keeping him there. But it was in the weeks that followed when he realized something was wrong with him. The full moon approached rapidly as he was tending to the animals making sure they were all herded back before it got too dark. 

The way he felt that night he couldn’t possibly describe, it was a mix of anger, strength, fear all mixed together that sent his body into a quivering mess beneath the full moon. Everything he was feeling was amplified and he had to have thrown up at least once or twice as he curled up in the middle of the pasture. His horse had run off, the livestock wouldn’t come anywhere near him and as soon as the last cloud passed away from the sky and the moon hit its peak, his body snapped and fractured, breaking down on itself. If you asked Kit to recall how he felt in that moment the absolutely couldn’t, after both his legs snapped out of place he blacked out. Only waking at sunrise in a misty field with his face buried in the rapidly cooling corpse of a cow. Luckily no one had spotted him out there in the pasture and while naked and covered head to toe in blood he wobbled back to his cabin on the property, hiding behind the locked door for days.

Irrationally he believed that it was obvious he was the culprit, he was the last one out there, but the body of the heifer was mangled to a point that pointed towards a large animal not a “human” He had to get off the farm, at least for a little while, while no one suspected him. After the first time he went through the shift, Kit had grown to be more careful, making sure he was alone whenever a full moon came around. Controlling his emotions well enough to keep from shifting out of the blue. But the dates slipped his mind, he’d been working so much and was getting exhausted and careless. He never would’ve gone into the city had he known. It was just supposed to be a quick drink at one of the local pubs and then he’d head home, but it turned into a couple drinks and by the time he left the bar the street lights had come on and the moon was rising further up into the sky. He could feel the power tingling down his arms and through his fingers. A change he couldn’t control no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t have many options, peeling away from the streets he ducked into an alley to let the wolf take control under the cover of darkness. It wasn’t ideal and the fear of killing someone in the city was ever present in the forefront of his mind while his body shifted and cracked into a monstrous form of broken bones and torn flesh. 

A wolffish creature emerged from where the small human once was, a mind of its own as he scavenged through the dumpsters and garbage that scattered around him. It wasn’t long before it caught the scent of a human walking by. A poor victim for the monstrous beast.the growl that erupted from the back of his throat resonated off the close walls of the alley way, creeping forward as yellow eyes fixated on the now frightened form of a young man. The moment his victim spotted the wolf, he lunged, hackles raised and long teeth the size of kitchen knives tore into soft flesh. It took every ounce of Kits willpower to tear the beast away from the boy before he could mangle the corpse pass recognition. By the time he left, he thought he had killed him, with the amount of blood he left behind. But the wolf wasn’t satisfied, stalking the streets looking for a feast. 

Again, Kit would wake up surrounded by the sickening scent of blood, however instead of the corpse of a cow, it was a person. A man, no older than 35, body torn to pieces, missing a arm. Looking around Kit felt sick to his stomach when he couldn’t find it around the body and assumed the worst. Crawling to the side of the road he retched whatever remained in his stomach. It took a couple more minutes to realize he wasn’t in a pasture or a forest where he wouldn’t be noticed. He was on the corner of a street, a cross walk just a couple feet down from him where he spotted people approaching, someone had already pulled out a cellphone to record. Panic set in, and again butt naked and covered in blood he made a run for it, luckily he was on the edge of town and could cut through the forest to make it back to the farm. Too bad his wolf self didn’t kill that poor sap just a mile down the road. 

By the time he made it back to the farm it was daylight, the farmhands were already out and about and making it to his cabin was no easy feat. The only way without being seen was to go around the homesteaders farm house, where he saw the wife cooking with the tv on through the big bay windows, while hiding in the shrubbery he could hear a loud travel ad for Greece came on, tickets were cheap for economy, and the exhausted and out of ideas Kit, made the decision to grab what little he had and make a beeline out of the country before he could be identified.

PERSONALITY

+ hardworking, passionate, selfless – nervous, impulsive, stubborn

PLAYED BY NOAH. EST. He/Him.

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Return

1. what is the geekiest part of your music collection? Probably the Hamilton soundtrack. 2. what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? Maybe a small lunch meat sandwich or something. 3. what is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? Armageddon lol 4. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? Tummy tuck, probably. 5. do you have a completely irrational fear? Yes, whales. 6. what is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment? Idk. 7. are you a pyromaniac? No. 8. do you have too many love interests? Nope. 9. do you know anyone famous? Not yet. 10. describe your bed: Queen size four-poster bed, medium brown wood. 11. spontaneous or plan? Both. 12. who should play you in a movie about your life? I have no idea. 13. do you know how to play poker? Nope. 14. what do you carry with you at all times? My phone, cigarettes, lighter, wallet. 15. what do you miss most about being little? Free time. 16. are you happy with your given name? Mostly. 17. how much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? A lot. 18. what color is your bedroom? Typical white walls, brown wood floors. 19. what was the last song you were listening to? It was a guy singing the Pokemon theme song on TikTok lol 20. have you ever been in a play? No. 21. have you ever been in love? Yes. 22. do you talk a lot? Sometimes, but it's not like a personality trait of mine. 23. do you like yourself and believe in yourself? Some days. 24. do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? No. 25. do you consider yourself to be a nice person? I don't know lol 26. do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends? My boyfriend, but I still spend plenty of time with my friends, too. We mostly have the same friends anyway lol 27. what is your ideal marriage location? Like, to have a wedding? Idk. Somewhere cool, that is not a church. I always thought getting married in a museum or a library would be cool. 28. which musical instrument do you wish you could play? Piano. 29. favorite fabric? Cotton. I hate silk and satin feeling materials. 30. something you love and hate? Idk. 31. what kind of bedding do you use? Soft. 32. do you tell your friends about your sex life? Sometimes. 33. what's the one language you want to learn? Russian. 34. how do you eat an apple? Just bite into it. 35. what do you order at a bar? Water or Dr Pepper lol. When I was drinking though, it was whiskey & coke, and shots of Jager. 36. have you ever pierced your body parts? Not myself lol. 37. do you have tattoos? Yes, I have ten, and like ten more in the works lol. 38. would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted? Depends on who was asking. 39. what's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done? Oh god, Idk. 40. do you drive stick? Nope. 41. what's one trait you hate in a person? Bigotry. 42. what kind of watch(es) do you wear? I don't wear any, but I do want one. 43. most frivolous purchase? I make a LOT of frivolous purchases, it's awful. 44. do you consider yourself materialistic? No. 45. what do you cook the best? My best dish is chicken & dumplings. But I also make really good teriyaki chicken, pork tacos, bbq meatloaf, spaghetti, etc. I'm a fairly good cook. 46. favorite writing instrument? Black pens that glide nicely. 47. do you prefer to stand out or blend in? A little of both. 48. would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? Sure? 49. what's one car you will never buy? Anything that is two door, or low to the ground. 50. what kind of books do you like to read? Mostly fiction, with a slight preference towards classic literature and horror. 51. if you won the lottery, what would you do? Buy a house, pay off my debts, buy two cars, help out people in my family. 52. burial or cremation? Cremation. 53. how many online journals do you read regularly? None. 54. what's one thing you're a sore loser at? Everything lol. I'm also a sore winner. 55. if you don't like a person, how do you show it? I ignore them. 56. do you cry in front of friends? Yes, I cry all the time lol 57. what kind of first impression do you think you give to people? I have no idea. 58. what's one thing you like to do alone? Play video/phone games, read, scroll the internet. 59. are you a giver or a taker? Giver. 60. when's the last time you cried? Last time I remember is at Katie & Sarah's wedding. Unless you count last night, when I was cry-laughing at Whose Line Is It Anyway. 61. favorite communication method? Facebook messenger or in person lol 62. how many drinks before you're tipsy? When I was drinking, like 3-4. 63. do you think you're cute? Some days. 64. do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? Not in front of Kelsi, but everyone else yes. 65. what's the most painful experience you've ever had? Heartbreak, giving birth, etc.

[solac1um]

Brief Respite

I’ve also posted this on AO3! Written for the this fanfic collab.

Basically my first actual attempt at sexy writing. I tried to blend my default style into it, got a bit carried away, tried to shoehorn a piece of dialogue in, etc. Hopefully it came out at least miiiildly readable? Lmao. Anyway this was super self-indulgent, the Nakahechi route is, indeed, very special to me, although I’ve only ever been there once. If I lived in Japan, though, it would definitely be somewhere I visit yearly. A person can dream, I guess.

Izuku x GN!Reader

———

One of those nights again. He'd returned home, to lay his weary body on the couch next to you with a sigh, staring empty-eyed at a blank phone screen in one hand, the other seeking yours gingerly - too gingerly.

You'd put your book down, curled into his side and turned his face to yours. He'd looked so tired it broke your heart. As if in response to that thought, he'd attempted a smile. "I'm okay, don’t worry about m-"

"- don't give me that. Right now, I'm not a colleague who needs to be reassured." Your fingers brushed soft locks from his face as you'd peered into his eyes. "How many times have I told you not to bring work home with you, baby? You don't have to be a hero within these four walls." You'd brushed a thumb over his cheekbone. "If Izuku is tired, or worried, or scared, let him. You need to take care of this, too." And you'd tapped your fingers on his chest over his heart, watched the perfect veneer crumble, let him cry in your arms.

Later, stroking his shower-damp hair as he slept, you'd decided you both needed a good, week-long vacation.

Besides, it was that time of the year. You made a pilgrimage to the mountains of Kii Hantou every year, since it captured your heart the first time, walking the same route. This trail has seen you through your progress as a rescue hero. From worrying about being able to pass your first fitness test, to attempting harder and harder stretches of the trail every time you returned. The Nakahechi route witnessing you in all your seasons. For you, it was less religious, more a place that felt like home, that surrounded and held you, that kept safe your fears and dreams. And this time, you got to bring her the person you'd been telling her about for so long.

"For the next week," you'd told Izuku firmly, pressed against his side on the bus rumbling through the quiet countryside. "You're not a hero, you're not on duty, and neither am I, and no one is going to put us on call for anything. The only thing I'm fixing is food for lunch every day. And if someone has the gall to interrupt the first real vacation you've had in the 8 years you've been a pro hero, it better be because the world is literally crumbling." You stare into his eyes, still so guileless after so long. "Mmkay? Promise me."

His eyes are always so gentle when they behold you. "I'll try, puppy," he'd said, kissing your forehead. "But no promises."

It would have to do. You know how much his work means to him. You lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. "Good enough for me."

-

You watch as Izuku navigates the undulating paths with more ease than you could ever hope to muster. You lead the way, but only because he keeps pace with you. Your excitement is his excitement. You watch as he gapes at the landscape, his boyish excitement not lost to age - "you come here every year? I bet you don't ever get sick of it!" (You don't.) You laugh with him as he giggles at the "not Kumano Kodo" signs along the way. Signs you were in stitches to see the first time you walked this route. You watch him absolutely demolish the home-cooked meals every family-owned establishment feeds you both, lean into the soft comfort of quiet conversation before bedtime, his hands wandering languidly, affectionately over your skin.

Time and the mountains swallow your five days. Early mornings, sun dappled lunches sitting on logs. Walking rain drenched, through the gates of the hongu grand shrine, the water from the basin so cold your hands numb. The damp rough of the rope in your hands, the melodious rattle of the bell. Walking the grounds, cold and tired, picking out omamori for the both of you. (You always returned them at the new year, knowing you'd be back to get another one) Stopping before the gate to kiss Izuku in the rain, sweet and full of intent.

You’d booked a hotel with a hot spring for your last night there. It isn’t the biggest - that was expensive and always booked out a year in advance - but it is fancy enough, and has private bath rooms. You were a frequent visitor on your travels. Besides, you’d like some time to stare at your man in the nude, thank you very much.

The temperature of the hot bath is delicious after a cold late-autumn day in the rain. Your hands and feet are numb. You’d barely registered your shower, hurriedly rinsing suds from your skin and hair, nearly flinging yourself into the hot bath. You sigh as the shock of the heat fades into a warmth that wraps around you. An eye on the clock, you watch Izuku as he showers. He is so familiar, and no less beautiful for it; cut in marble, almost, your Adonis. How long had it been since you’d had the time to-

“Puppy?” You’re drawn back out of your head to concerned eyes on you. “Are you okay? You look a little flushed. Maybe you should go have a rinse so you don’t overheat…”

You blink at him. “I, ah. No. I’m okay, I’ve only been in here for uh” - a glance at the clock - “Five minutes.” You flash him a smile. “Come join me, the water’s great.” And he obliges.

You want to enjoy the bath, you really do, but you seem to have miscalculated just how fatally distracting it would be to have him next to you, so tantalisingly undressed. You sigh and lean your head on his shoulder, trying to ignore the tendrils of desire you feel rising deep in your core. He hums and deposits a kiss on your head, and warmth blooms in your rib cage.

Had it really already been seven years? Eight, since you first met in the debris of a fallen building, the aftermath of some villain’s harebrained scheme. Dirt-streaked and exhausted. You, working your first year as a rescue hero, and he, almost fresh out of UA. You’d both unwound over a cup of shitty coffee in the break room of the hospital afterward, a conversation cut short, that’d led to another. And another, and another. And here you both are.

“You’ve got that faraway look in your eyes again.” Izuku nuzzles you. “You’re so pensive today. Is everything alright?”

You giggle, lean in for a kiss that you draw out. “Couldn’t be better. After all, I get to spend aaall this time with the love of my life.” His eyes hold yours, a little hazy as you pull away. Entranced. You watch, with some pride, the blush dust his freckled cheek. It’s flattering that you can still do that, after all this time.

“Did you miss me that much,” he mumbles, and your barely-audible “too much” and the resounding yes in your mind brims over. His face is in your hands, your lips are on his again, sweet and insistent and ravenous. And the water burns on your skin, or is it the heat in your skin, the way your breath is stolen from your lips, the way your head is spinning?

His breathing is ragged when you pull back, a fire in his eyes that finds its echo somewhere in your belly.

You find your words first. “Let’s get out of here,” you say, taking him by the wrist. “Before we both get a heat stroke.”

The walk back feels like eternity. Bodies pressed into each other, huddling for warmth, for contact. The door clicks shut behind you, your hands are on him, tangled in his hair, breathless against his lips. Kissing him, his body against the mattress, your body against his, imprinting the length, the shape of his desire into your contours. His hands on your hips. You gasp into his lips, drawing a groan. The whisper of fabric as the sash of his yukata comes undone in your hands. Your fingers on his skin, trailing down his body, his breath hitching in his throat.

"You are so beautiful," you murmur against his skin. "These shoulders shouldn't always have to carry the weight of the world."

He sighs. You let your fingers trail down his form, studying every dip and curve and freckle and scar. “Let me spoil you today, baby. You work too hard.” You've long memorised the constellations in his skin, the way muscle under skin flutters beneath your hands, the way it does now as your touch wanders, fingertips and lips, down to the waistband.

He shivers, bites back a moan. Straining. You run a hand along his length, through the fabric, fingers finding the elastic, and you tug, achingly slow.

Lips brush the weeping tip, catching his precum on your tongue. You take him slowly, sucking the swollen skin, tearing a groan from his throat. A hand in your hair - gentle pressure, but enough to feel the tension humming in his veins. He breathes, a drawn out, shuddering breath.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly.

You moan, a sound that starts in your throat and reverberates into the cavern of your mouth, and he feels it. “F-fuck–” his breath hitches, and you hum. You take him deeper, your hands wandering the planes of his stomach, his thighs.

Deft lips, and a practiced tongue, you devour him. His tip hits the back of your throat and you groan. His taste is so familiar, your blood thundering in your ears and you are so full of him, and all you know is him. And you hold the moment, as he squirms, for what would have been a breath, or two, or three -

- and you pull back, only to push down again, feel him twitch and swell between your lips as you move. Hungry for his passion, his unravelling, faster and faster.

Izuku’s hand is in your hair, grip almost demanding. The taste and heat of him on your tongue, egging you on, fuelled by the sound of his voice, caught between a groan and a whimper, the way he shifts and trembles, back arching away from the mattress. His body a line of perfect tension as you guide him to his climax.

His own hand stops you. “Puppy, baby, wait, I–”

“Mmm?” You hum, earning yourself another soft gasp.

“I- I need to be inside you.”

You pull back, lips gliding over his length, leave him aching. You’ll make him wait a little, you’ve waited for this for so long. You look up at him, through your eyelashes, faux bashful. “Yeah?”

You grind against his cock slowly, teasing, and he draws a shuddering breath. “Are you going to ask?” You breathe the words into the air between your lips and his, close enough to feel him whimper as you move against him again.

“Please,” he gasps. “Please, baby. I need you. I need this.”

You swallow the moan rising in your throat, lean in. “Good. Because,” you breathe, “I do too.” Your words meeting his parted lips before your own steal the choked moan that escapes - yours, or his - as you guide him into your velvet heat.

You’ve waited for this for so long.

You move slowly, savour every inch of him, the way his eyes hold yours, unfocused, the way he bites his lip and gasps at every thrust, not enough to silence his moans.

“Fuck, puppy, yes–” His voice catches on the edges of his pleasure. “Oh god, you feel amazing, puppy.”

You chuckle breathlessly. “Yeah, baby? Did you miss this? Just having time... to ourselves like this?” The heat rises in your core, the closeness and friction and fullness of his cock tearing a rawness from you. “You did, didn’t you?” you move faster, chasing intensity. “Tell - tell me.”

His hips twitch against you. "You– did I miss this," he gasps in the midst of a pleasure that threatens to steal his words, “Puppy, you have no idea, I - ah - all that… that wishing… for, for uneventful days so I can come home early, only for it to - ah - never happen, being too tired to do anything all these nights - oh fuck - h-having all that time on patrol, to all but dream of you and how I fucking ache for you. I-I’ve wanted you so much I can't breathe. Fuck, baby, I don't think you have a single inkling-”

And then they’re gone, shipwrecked in the storm of his pleasure as he takes you by the hips and thrusts up into you, the change in angle bringing you closer. And the desperation of his words and his touch make you want to lose the measure, fuck him into oblivion, sate a hunger you cannot name.

And so you do, bracing against the mattress, hips snapping against his, feeling your walls tighten around him. You drop your forehead to his, kiss him deeply. He groans into your lips, low and desperate. “Puppy, I’m- I’m going to cum-”

The need in his voice pushes you over the edge. You ride him through your orgasm, his name tearing ragged from your lips over and over as you convulse around him. Your hips don’t stop until his body echoes your climax, shuddering against you, twitching inside you.

You hold him until he stops trembling, until you stop trembling, until his breathing slows. Green eyes gaze at you, still hazy and so, so soft. You kiss him slowly, pull away to brush the hair from his sweat-damp brow, and he wraps his arms around you. “I love you, puppy,” he murmurs.

You press a kiss to his forehead. “And I love you, dearest.”

He hums and buries his face in your shoulder. “I really needed that.”

You run your hands through his curls, gently. “I know, baby. So did I.”

“Maybe we should... Do this more often,” he mumbles, drawing a soft laugh from you.

“Oh, definitely. Anything to get your workaholic butt to take a break every now and then, and spend time with me.” You touch a kiss to the side of his head. “Would you come with me again next year, if you can?”

He looks surprised and gratified. “You really want me to? I’d love to.”

You bump your nose against his. “Don’t look so surprised. If the last seven years is anything to go by, there isn’t a part of my life I want separate from you.”

He responds with a tight hug. “Me neither. Thank you, puppy.”

You let your fingertips wander, tracing idle patterns in the sweat cooling on his skin. “You know, since we’re going to have to go take another shower, let’s go enjoy that private hot spring without getting distracted.”

Izuku laughs. “What are the chances?” You flick him lightly on the shoulder. “What?” He looks at you innocently, all big guileless eyes. “It’s not my fault you’re so distracting.”

You roll your eyes, tugging him up. “Oh you sweet talker, you. C’mon, before it gets late.”

[badbyeyoongi]

Ice Ice, Baby // Park Jimin X Reader

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Warnings: Sub Jimin, Femdom, Masturbating, Slapping, Degradation, Crying, Daddy Kink, Praise Kink etc

Summary: Jimin was your baby boy who you loved to dress up... 

Authors Note: Submitted by Anonymous

You looked down at your boyfriend and felt a slow smile conquer your ordinarily placid features. A delicate blush dusted his cheeks and ears, coloring him all the way down his neck and chest. He was kneeling on the hardwood floor of your room, eyes trained on his lap where his hands lay balled into fists. Diamonds adorned his body, an act you’d proposed after seeing his concept photos. At first you’d thought nothing of them, but the seed had been planted. For the weeks that had passed after, you found yourself scrutinizing his skin wondering just how lovely he’d look. You had bet Jimin would look amazing. You were right.

It was winter, so the sun had set around three or four, leaving you two more than ten hours of complete darkness and the accompanying solitude, but the red and blue neon lights that were mounted on your wall cast Jimin in an ethereal glow. A warmth stirred in the pit of your stomach. A thin eighteen-carat white gold diamond studded choker fit snugly ‘round his pretty neck. Dancers usually had long shapely necks and Jimin was no exception. You settled for studs on all his ear piercings, not wanting to go overboard, but they contrasted his slicked back ebony hair so nicely. A few strands rebelled, hanging over his brow wetly. You reached out and tucked it behind his ear, not missing the sharp intake of breath as you did. The sound, so light and airy, drew your gaze toward his face. It was tense, a mixture of anticipation and lust. That look was for you, even if his expression was glued submissively to the floor, and it sent fire up and down your spine. Jimin’s eyes, always so stunning, were smoked out, drawing out the deepness of the brown irises. There were spangles around his upper arms which, though defined, had slimmed in size because of his most recent diet. The reminder caused a slight wrinkle between your eyebrows before it relaxed. You’d address that later.

There was a chain of diamond around his slim waist Lastly, but most certainly not least, was the studded diamond garter. It wrapped around his left leg twice, first dripping with icy tones between the crease of his hip and tucked below his buttock, then again on the swell of his thigh. Pretty, you thought. Then you repeated yourself, this time aloud, “so pretty, Jiminie.” He didn’t answer. It wasn’t a question. Pleased, you bent to his level and grabbed his chin to force him to face you. Your nails painted black, dug into his cheeks, forcing his plump lips apart slightly. Obedient, his eyes averted yours, instead looking over your left shoulder. He wasn’t allowed to look you in the eye unless you said, wasn’t allowed to move until you gave the okay. If you told him to hold his breath, Jimin would. That amount of control was beyond intoxicating, but it could also be too much. Sometimes, you’d find yourself taking breaks periodically, not wanting to get carried away. You loved him. Safety came first.

 “So pretty, Jiminnie,” you repeated once again, “lookin’ so good all iced up.” He remained still, but his breaths quickened harshly through his parted lips, causing the flat and firm expanse of his abdomen to rise and fall. You watched as Jimin tried to regain his composer, forcing himself to breathe through his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut. “You going somewhere, Jimin?” you snapped, giving his jaw a shake, “open your eyes.” Immediately, his eyes opened.

You kissed him, pressed your lips chastely at first before you heard the low whine emit from Jimin’s chest. Giving in, you removed your iron grip from his face, looking on in delight at the imprints you left on his skin before moving to a significantly gentler grip on his throat and continuing your kiss. This time, you licked into his mouth, enjoying the kitten-like mewls and gasps that Jimin couldn’t control. You could get drunk just kissing him. His lips were soft and plush, tongue and mouth warm, wet, and inviting.

Beneath your hand, you could feel his pulse thundering. Smiling against him, you moved away, trailing kisses along his cheek down to his jaw and finally meeting it’s mark by the piercings along the shell of his ear. Jimin gave a loud and high pitched sigh. Encouraged, you took your other hand and buried it in his hair, giving a firm tug. Jimin’s reaction was impulsive, making a sound somewhere between a dry sob and moan, hands jumping to your waist.

The moment Jimin’s hand made contact with you, you pulled back, ramping up your grip in his scalp to excruciating, your hand around his throat squeezing just shy of a throttle, and bringing his face and intimidating centimeters from your own. His hands returned to his lap as if burned. Jimin winced, struggling to avoid eye contact. “Did you disobey me, Jimin?” you hissed, voice barely audible. Somehow, that was more terrifying than if you’d yelled. Jimin tried to swallow, voice crackling like paper as he tried to breathe.

“M’sorry,” he whispered, lisping slightly. You laughed, the sound cruel and foreign to your ears. Sweat broke out along Jimin’s upper lip and forehead. “Sorry--” he tried again, but was cut off by you striking him across the face. It knocked the wind from him it seemed and his hands darted to his cheek.  “What did we say about keeping your hands to yourself?” He didn’t answer, taking small shaky breaths with his eyes closed, hands still pressing to his reddening face. Nasty, you gripped his wrists and yanked them away only to strike at his face again. “Keep your hands down,” you growled. The third slap was harder, the aftershocks stinging your palm and it ripped a sob from Jimin’s chest.

His hands hovered midway between his lap and face before dropping. Jimin cried in uncontrolled sobs, he did his best to restrain the noise by biting his lower lip but it didn’t work. Unsure, you waited for him to stop crying. When thirty seconds ticked by, you eased your hold on him to run your fingers through his hair. You hoped if Jimin was overwhelmed he’d state his safeword, but you couldn’t be sure. So you asked, “Can you handle this, Jimin? You want to stop?” He sniffed, shaking his head but still averting his eyes. “Look at me,” you encouraged, retracting all contact.

You didn’t want to reassert your dominant role until you were positive he was okay to continue. Hesitant, Jimin lifted his eyes to yours. “I want it,” he whispered hoarsely, then clearing his throat, Jimin repeated firmly, “I want it.”

“Safeword?”

“Pancake.”

“Promise to say it if you feel uncomfortable?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to stop slapping you?”

His eyes widened, head shaking frantically, “N-no, I like it. Please, don’t stop.” You stroked his cheek affectionately, “okay, baby.” He leaned into your touch with a watery smile.

Getting to your feet, you took a small walk around the room. Steadily you inhaled and exhaled to pull yourself back into character. Your stilettoes clicked sexily as you moved. You focused on the sound, straightening your back and letting your hips sway. In a gold gilded mirror across the room, you could see Jimin pretending to look away. You smirked, letting Jimin get away with it. He was watching your reflection hungrily, still hiccuping, hands discreetly hiding his erection.

You returned to your place before him. “You can look at me.” Cautious, Jimin’s eyes raised to you. He did it slowly, taking in your heels, the shapely legs encased in stockings and the black lingerie, right up to your breasts, along the collarbone, and stopping at your neck. Tongue licking his lips, he hesitated.

“Do you have a question?” You asked. He nodded. “Words,” you demanded. “Yes, Daddy.” You wanted to grin, loving the name. It was a kink that not many engaged in, but you were both into it. “What is it?” you asked. “C-can I look at your face?” “You want to look at Daddy’s face?” Jimin nodded before catching himself, “yes, please, Daddy.” “Aw, how polite,” you cooed as you approached Jimin. You crouched before him. “Yes,” you allowed, “you can.” He raised his gaze, mouth falling slightly agape. “So, pretty,” he breathed. “You think so, baby-boy?” You didn’t listen to his response, rounding him and returning to a crouch behind him so he had to look in the mirror to see you. Your nails danced up his spine and along his shoulders. You bit his earlobe, “I think you’re pretty, Jiminnie.”  He blushed harder, breath stuttering as your hands found his hair. You murmured against him, “Say, ‘thank you, daddy’.” “Thank you, daddy,�� he parroted. “Good boy,” you complimented.

A smile flickered across his features. Humming into his ear, your hand slid across his chest and down his tight flat abdomen and lower until it came to his hands which you swatted away to get to his cock. It was red and weeping for attention. At first, you rubbed it with an open palm like you would a pussy. He squirmed but otherwise remained still. Then, having mercy, you gripped the appendage.  “Daddy,” Jimin groaned as you closed it in your fist. You pressed your right hand to his mouth, “suck them.” He opened his mouth and you pressed your fingers right to the back of his throat. Jimin gurgled and coughed, but obediently slurped and sucked on the digits.

“You daddy’s little slut?” you taunted, nearly forcing your whole hand into his mouth. Jimin gagged body bowing under the force. Then he whined, nodding his head. “Let me hear you, baby,” you urged moving your hand to give him some room to breathe, “say it.” “‘M dah-de lil luh,” he choked around you. “Wish I had a cock,” you mourned, “you look so good like this, Jiminie.” He didn’t answer except to continue taking your fingers deeper. You gave an experimental tug on his cock, groaning yourself at the response it elicited. His hips bucked into your hand and tears slipped freely down his cheeks. Feeling a sadistic wave crash through your body, you forced your hand down his throat as deep as it could. He gagged violently, hands reaching up to grip your wrist. You released his cock to grab him and force his hands, crisscrossed over each other to his stomach.

Jimin struggled, now crying freely. You hushed and pushed against him, “Hands down, hands down. I’m not letting up until you do. Pinch me if you really can’t take it.”  After a moment of Jimin’s attempt at keeping still, you let up slightly. You took the handful of saliva that had collected on your hand and let it drip over his chin and neck, wiping the rest on his cringing face, smearing the makeup. He coughed and spluttered. “Such a mess!” you exclaimed in mock surprise. Jimin leaned forward, hands on the floor with tilted his head forward, the air wetly rattling around as he panted. “No, no,” you scolded, grabbing Jimin by the hair and pulling him back to sit up straight. “Back to position, Jiminnie. Good boy. Now, touch yourself.” He moved quickly, aching for relief. “Not like that,” you corrected, “touch it like you would touch a pussy.”

The man moaned, trembling at your words and complied. Hips grinding and hand rubbing, Jimin continued to cry. You grinned. His makeup was smeared and running down his face, hair a mess, standing at all angles, his cheeks a bright red from exertion as he cried uncontrollably. At the rate he was pleasuring himself, you knew Jimin would come soon. You ran your hand along his thin waist. So pretty. “Feels good?” you asked. “Uh huh,” was all he could manage.  “Look at my face, baby.” He did, mouth open allowing each and every sound to escape. “Daddy,” he whined. “What is it, sweetheart?” “Want--need you to--,” he choked on his own saliva as it steadily continued to drip from his slick lips. You tweaked his nipples, enjoying the cry as he reacted. “You need me to what, hm?” “N-need you to-ah to hit me.” “Mhm?” You struck, light with your fingertips. Jimin rubbed at his cock with renewed vigor and it fueled a dark desire in you as you pulled your hand all the way back and slapped him once again, hard enough to knock him onto his side. Jimin convulsed, curling in on himself as he came with a stuttered gasp onto the floor.

You couldn’t take it anymore. Crossing over to him, you gave his hair another tug, not giving him enough time to come down from his high. “Get up.” “D-Daddy,” he protested tearily, “I can’t.” “No?” You let him fall to the floor, the toe of your shoe pressing to the tip of his oversensitive cock. He cried out squirming, “Daddy! Please!” “What? You can’t? Or does my slut need more?” “But my cock hurts!” he squeaked.

You lifted some of the weight off, leaning on your heel, “say so and we’ll be done.” Jimin was caught in between. It felt too good to stop now. Taking his silence as negative you removed your foot. “Fine, we’re done.” “No!” he cried, immediately bursting into tears. “I’ll be good! I can be a good boy! Let me try again. I can be good,” he babbled. “Then get up,” you snarled behind gritted teeth. He rose on shaking hands and knees, twitching, the jewelry clinking delicately as he moved. You moved across the room to a mattress that lay on the floor. “Come here,” you barked. As he started to struggle to his feet, you snapped again, “no. Crawl.”

You were nowhere near done.

Masterlist

[pickalilywrites]

Maybe a heart to heart with Gabi and Falco in jail and someone from the Sc (Could be Jean,Eren etc. You choose)

♡ ♡ ♡

Somewhere We Belong

Gabi Braun. Falco Grice. Connie Springer. Canonverse.

1950 words.

Sitting in the cell, she had expected them to be kept in conditions harsher than she was used to on Liberio. After all, she had been accepted on Liberio because of her services as a warrior of Marley despite her tainted blood. It’s something these monsters would never understand. Devils, the lot of them, heartless creatures that killed her friends without a second thought. They should have killed her when they caught her on the airship, but they wanted to make her suffer first. Of course, they’d keep her locked in a dungeon where they could torture her for killing one of them. It only makes sense that these demons would want her to suffer a long, slow death.

But the torture never comes. While she’s locked in a cell, separated by Falco by a stone wall, they never come to poke her with strange instruments or tear out her hair and limbs. No, instead they feed her three meals a day. They give the prisoners a clean change of clothes every other day. The guards don’t talk to them, hardly even look them in the eye, but they give the prisoners more hospitality than they should. In some ways, they treat them better than any Marleyan officer has ever treated them. Gabi can’t understand it at all.

“It’s seafood today,” the soldier says. It’s the same soldier who was on the airship that same fateful day, the one with the closely cut hair and large eyes. He had cried the most on the trip back to Paradis. Gabi had tried to ignore him, but his sobs were too loud. She never knew anyone could cry so much. She thought he would hate them the most, but he acts like everyone else does. He pushes the trays to them, slipping them through the bottom gap of the cell bars. “Neither of you is allergic to shellfish, are you?”

“No,” Falco squeaks from the other side of the wall. She hears him pick up the tray, take a large bite of it, and almost choke because he’s eaten too much at once. “It’s good! What is it?”

The soldier sits down across the wall that separates Falco and Gabi. He smiles at Falco and for a second Gabi is surprised that he looks so human. Kind, even, but she quickly shakes that thought from her mind. They’re nothing but monsters and that’s all they’ll ever be.

“They’re lobster rolls. We caught a whole lot of them the other day and Nikolo – that’s our chef – decided to make these. We had some leftover and I decided to sneak some over for you guys. You’re young, so it’s good if you eat a lot, right?” The man smiles at Falco who continues to eat, enjoying every bite of it. He turns to Gabi, who sits in the corner of her cell, her face turned so that she doesn’t have to look at him or the food he’s brought for her. “You aren’t going to eat, Gabi?”

She balls her hands into tight fists, clenching them to her sides. If she could, she’d punch him in the face, but she knows her arms are far too short to reach him. Instead, she curls up with her knees tucked up under her chin and mumbles, “I don’t want to eat any of your disgusting food. I’m not hungry anyway.”

The man hesitates, wondering whether or not he should try to convince the stubborn child to eat even a bite of it, but Falco says, “Don’t worry about her, Mister Springer. If you leave it there, she’ll eat it as soon as she’s hungry. It always happens.”

Gabi hates that Falco always talks to the guards and soldiers that pass by. He never gives them any information about Liberio, but his civil conversations with them are enough to anger her. He speaks to them so cordially, as if they weren’t the ones who had locked them up in the first place, and never forgets to address them as “Mister” or “Miss.” She’d lash out at him, call him a traitor, but she decides that ignoring him is a more effective punishment because it seems the punishment given by the Paradis Eldians isn’t cruel enough. Still, it’s difficult to keep her mouth shut during moments like this.

The man – or Mister Springer, as Falco calls him – just nods. He stands up, brushing his clothes off, and says, “I’ll leave you two then. I’ll come back later to collect your trays. Alright, Gabi?”

He says her name and not Falco’s because he knows she hates her name being spoken from any of their dirty mouths. Falco might not mind it, but she does. She loathes it. She wishes that they treated her like filth, called her “scum” or “monster,” and threatened to kill her instead of providing her with food and water, speaking with her, and referring to her by her given name. He’s mocking her by calling her name so kindly as if she’s a child.

It’s only then that she speaks because she can’t bear the thought of him coming back with the same kind expression, saying her name with such concern when he returns to find that she hasn’t touched even one of the lobster rolls that he’s left behind for her. She doesn’t just speak. She shouts. She yells. She screams because it’s been so long since she’s spoken to anyone at all and if she screams loud enough, she can break them in the same way they’re trying to break her.

“Shut up!” she screeches. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Breathing heavily, she stumbles to the bars of her cells, reaching between them to lunge at the soldier but she collapses against them instead. Splotches of black obscure her vision and her head feels light. She tightens her grip around the steel bars, but she can feel it become loose as she slips to the ground.

“Gabi? Gabi!” she hears Falco call. She wants to tell him to shut up too, but she’s finding it difficult to lift her head.

Arms lift her up, the hands gentle. The same voice she had tried to silence calls to her, keeping her awake. “Gabi, you need to eat more. You’ll pass out if you don’t,” the man says. Reaching down, he offers her a lobster roll. “Come on. You’re still a kid.”

“I am a warrior!” she roars. Gabi smacks his hand away and the food flies out of his hand and onto the floor of her prison cell. For a second, she feels regret. Such rich food had only been available to her during festivals and only then if she was authorized to attend one. To have such extravagant food end up on the ground is a waste.

Falco strains to look over at Gabi. He clings to the metal bars, looking at her with worry and concern just like he always does. “Gabi,” he whispers. “Please just eat it. He’s right, you know.”

“Stop siding with him,” Gabi shouts, glaring. She turns her anger back towards the soldier. Once again, she forces herself to stand and she pretends to be unaffected by the dizziness she feels. “You monsters don’t even know what you’ve done, you don’t even care. I was so close. We were all so close, and you had to come and ruin everything.”

The man shushes a distressed Falco. Taking a moment to look at Gabi carefully, he opens his mouth. “What did we ruin, Gabi?” he asks softly. The way he says her name makes her want to cry. When was the last time anyone had said her name so softly? When the Marleyan officers called her name, they’d bark, following it up with harsh orders about what to do and who to kill. Only her friends and family called her name with such gentleness. Who is this man and who did he think he was to treat her so kindly when she has been nothing but terrible to him?

“If we did what they wanted, they’d finally accept us. They wouldn’t look at us like vermin or pests,” Gabi says. Her voice shakes as she tries to hold back sobs. Tears leak from her eyes and she hastily wipes them away, but she’s overflowing with them. “We would finally have somewhere to belong.”

But once she’s said this out loud – her biggest hope, her biggest dream, what she’s been working for all along – she knows that it could never happen. She could kill all the damned devils in the world and they would always treat her like a monster. She saw it in the disgust in her instructors’ faces, the repulsion in the shopkeepers at the festival stalls when all she and her friends wanted were food and pastries like the other children, and the absolute loathing in the faces of the Marleyan civilians whenever they saw star on the bright red band on her arm that marked her as different. She could do everything they wanted her to and more, and they’d never accept her. She had known that from the beginning and yet she pushed that thought far back into her mind, fooling herself into committing all their sins that they would change their mind. What a foolish girl. She might be a warrior, but she’s still a child.

She looks at the man who still sits across from her, separated by the thick metal bars of her cell. He gazes at her with eyes full of sadness – for her and her broken dreams, for her lost friends, and the friends he had lost as well. There is an unbearable tiredness about him, and Gabi looks at the ground instead.

“I just wanted to belong somewhere,” she mumbles, her voice thick and heavy. She doesn’t remember the last time she cried. Before this, it was after seeing Zofia and Udo’s broken bodies, but were there any times before that? She was too busy being a warrior to cry, too busy being used. “I just wanted somewhere to belong.”

The soldier reaches his hand through the bars, but this time Gabi doesn’t slap it away. His hand settles on the top of her head and sits there, kind and warm. Here she sits in a cold and dark cell, and the kindest touch she has ever received is from a man she considers her enemy. It makes her weep.

“Gabi,” she hears Falco say, desperate to reach her, but the man hushes him once again. She’ll be fine. She just needs time.

He tells her to eat – tells both her and Falco to eat because they might be warriors, but they’re still children that are growing – and leaves. She thinks that even her parents weren’t ever that kind. When they had told her to eat, it was to grow strong so she could be a warrior, not to eat for her own sake. It was always for someone else.

When she looks up to thank him, she sees that he’s already left.

The lobster roll still sits on the floor where she had last left it and Gabi picks it up, dusting it off with her hand. Bringing it to her lips, she takes a bite and is surprised at how the lobster meat melts almost instantaneously in her mouth. It’s sweet, soft, and tender. The bread holding it together is a bit hard, but it’s better than what she’s usually served for lunch on Liberio. It’s the most delicious meal she’s ever eaten, she thinks, but she hates it because it reminds her that this place feels more welcoming than anywhere she’s ever been.

[sassysweetstories]

Diamond in the Rough

Summary: you’re an androgynous woman who has a rather groggy voice. due to your social anxiety and shy nature, you refuse to let your beautiful, sexy voice free. that is until you do something that might lead you down a dangerous path. 

Ship: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, vulgar words, bullying, fluff, hyperventilating, borderline anxiety attack, gender bashing, etc. 

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to the owners. 

Tagged: @bailey-hoover @kiralivelove @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw @anamcg317 @bellasett @queentiffanyyy @archer-whovian-violinist @beingmadinwonderland @princessisabelle19 @violence-and-velvet @lachicadelamanzana

Your P.O.V

[two years ago] 

“Oh! Waiter!” A girl says mockingly to me, a sadistic sinister grin making it’s way onto her already harsh features. “Or, are you a girl? I can’t tell. Whatever. Pick up our stuff.” I don’t hesitate to start loading some of the dishes in the little cafe shop I worked at. Whilst rearranging objects, I do my best to ignore her and her friends entirely, already having to deal with their abuse during school hours. College was a wonderful escape but not enough when it came to bullying. There’s always a group of girls that bash on others. I just happened to stumble upon the worst. “Hey, dyke. You forgot something.” I watch helplessly as she pushes the mug off the table, smirking as it crumbles into a million little pieces. She enjoys the slightest flinching motion from me. “Clean it up.” Her friends damn near cackle like hyenas and despite the fact that my blood is boiling, I keep my mouth shut and pick up the remains of the shattered cup, almost cutting myself up in the process. Before I know it my boss, Belle, a curvy yet short and stout, black woman doesn’t hesitate to cuss them out. “Get the hell out of my shop. That is no way to treat my worker. I’ve already called the police due to your repetitive behavior. Expect that I’ll be suing.” 

I don’t even have enough time to look up to know that they’re gone, not before they scoff at me with disgust. I’m glad Belle has no longer made it a problem at work but I’m sure it’ll only get worse at school. The cafe is like a home away from home type of feel. With it’s Barnes and Noble / Earthbound vibe, it’s exactly what the kids these days are enjoying. I love the interaction, simple but sweet nonetheless. But my anxiety does wonders when I try to step out of my comfort zone only to be forces backwards again. The best time to escape though is when I’m closing. Belle and the rest of my coworkers leave a little after ten where I close at one. Once alone, I dip my toes in my nighttime en-devours and breathe. And by that I mean sing. Ya see, ever since I was little, I knew I could sing but I’d never done in public due to the fact that I had a very masculine voice, and not to mention I have terrible social anxiety. I have a low voice to begin with but nobody really knows that except Belle and Charlie. Only they know and I’m not gonna expand that comfort bubble. I sway to the rhythm of the song, smiling softly as the lyrics sprung happily through the sound system. 

Out There from Hunchback of Notre Dame

“Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone Gazing at the people down below me  All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone Hungry for the histories they show me  All my life I memorize there faces Knowing them as they will never know me All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day Not above them  But part of them. 

And out there Living in the sun Give me one day out there All I ask is one To hold forever.”

Before I know it, I’m jumping all around the empty cafe, dancing and singing with such passion I don’t even realize I’m sweating through my shirt. There’s something so inviting about music much less musicals. When I do it alone, the drive is stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced, this kind of adrenaline rush that makes me wild with childlike wonder.

“Out there Where they all live unaware What I’d give What I’d dare Just to live one day out there

Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives Through the roofs and gables I can see them  Ev’ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives Heedless of the gift it is to be them  If I was in their skin I’d treasure ev’ry instant

Out there Strolling by the Seine Taste a morning out there Like ordinary men Who freely walk about there Just one day and then I swear I’ll be content

With my share Won’t resent Won’t despair  Old and bent I won’t care I’ll have spent  One day Out there.”

When the music dies, I’m drenched in my own perspiration. Heart thumping with a different kind of adrenaline rush. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I can breathe again, like I’m alive. That is until a loud clapping irrupts from the front of the cafe. Gulping, my heart drops in fear. “Well aren’t you something.” A girl half my height grins up at me as if she’d just found gold, a faint mischievous smirk arising onto her plump lips. “Names Fray. Fray Jay-white. But most of my friends call me FJ. I’ve got a proposition for you.”  Oh no... 

[Now]

“Are you nervous about performing tonight?” I ask FJ, twiddling my thumbs with nervous and uneasy fingers. She shrugs mindlessly. Of course she’s not afraid and yet you are despite the fact that you’ll be behind a fucking curtain. She was born for this kinda thing, a lover of attention. FJ had been working with me, lip-sinking while I sung behind the stage or in the audio-booth but this was our second live performance in front of the biggest artists in the world. Our- my voice had gotten so much attention in the past few years, people wanted to hear it for themselves. Apparently the cast of Hamilton is suppose to be here tonight, too. 

Literally everyone I love will be behind that wall and I won’t get to see them because I’m so afraid. She notices my discomfort and takes her hands in mind, much smaller but they calm me nonetheless. She’s become one of my closest friends since our agreement and I could thank her enough for listening to my whole story, caring as much as she does. “Hey, we’ve got this. It’ll be okay tonight. And guess what, Dylan and I found a one sided mirror. Ya know, like in all of those cop shows?! You can perform on stage behind the one sided mirror!-” She lifts my chin up ever so slightly, coaxing me with her gentle voice. “I think this is a step in the right direction.”

And in that moment, I don’t doubt her even though I should’ve. I accept the words effortlessly as truth, a way to break out of my bubble. I prepare backstage with the rest of the crew, grinning at their shenanigans. As I look out at the oceans of people that I call family, I feel whole and content despite the performance butterflies. “(Y/n), it’s time.” Dylan says to me with excitement and pride in his eyes. Patting my shoulder like a sibling would, I slip past the curtain and hide behind the one sided mirror, microphone at the ready. In that moment as FJ walks out onto the stage, I decide to lay on one of the spare boxes and it brings me immediate comfort. They can’t see you. A voice reminds me. The music starts and my nerves slowly vanish. 

For Forever From Dear Evan Hansen

“End of May or early June This picture-perfect afternoon we share Drive the winding country road Grab a scoop at A’ La Mode An open field that’s framed with trees  We pick a spot and shoot the breeze Like buddies do Quoting songs by our favorite bands Telling jokes no one understands Except us two  And we talk and take in the view

All we see is sky for forever We let the world pass by for forever Feels like we could go on for forever this way Two friends on a perfect day We walk a while and talk about The things we'll do when we get out of school Bike the Appalachian trail or Write a book or learn to sail Wouldn't that be cool? There's nothing that we can't discuss Like girls we wish would notice us but never do He looks around and says to me "There's nowhere else I'd rather be" And I say, "me too"And we talk and take in the view

We just talk and take in the view All we see is sky for forever We let the world pass by for forever Feels like we could go on for forever this way, this way All we see is light for forever 'Cause the sun shines bright for forever Like we'll be alright for forever this way Two friends on a perfect day And there he goes Racing toward the tallest tree From far across the yellow field I hear him calling, "follow me" there we go Wondering how the world might look from up so high

One foot after the other One branch then to another I climb higher and higher I climb 'til the entire Sun shines on my face And I suddenly feel the branch give way I'm on the ground My arm goes numb I look around And I see him come to get me He's come to get me

And everything's okay All we see is sky for forever We let the world pass by for forever Buddy, you and I for forever this way, this way All we see is light 'Cause the sun burns bright We could be alright for forever this way Two friends True friends  On a perfect day.” 

I’m so lost in the song, I don’t realize I’m crying until it’s all over. This song means everything to me I can’t help but lose myself.  Apparently I’ve moved the audience because they’re weeping, too. But it’s all too much, their eyes. I look back at FJ for reassurance but she’s long gone. But- If she’s gone, who are they- Oh god... In that moment, everything around me slows down and my heartbeat quickens. The mirror slowly climbs upward but it’s too late. They’re beady, demon eyes watch me with hungry teeth, ready to take a bite at me and my insecurities. I can’t breathe but I can move and I do. My name is being called from behind but I don’t ever turn back, I can’t. I push past everybody, not even bothering to say sorry. Once I get to the hallway, the fresh air hits me like a ton of bricks. I search the halls for my next direction before noticing a pair of honey eyes watching me with worried brows but I don’t stop moving. Apart of me is glad I took up track in high school cause nobody can catch me. 

Before I can bolt past the next aisle, a massive body tackles me off to the side and I land with a loud thud. The tears have blurred my vision almost entirely but I’d know that voice anywhere. “(Y/n), listen to me! It’s going to be okay!” Dylan must’ve followed from the venue. How he kept up, I don’t know. My entire body shakes, harder than it’s ever done before. This was by far the worst panic attack I’d ever experienced. I try to push Dylan away but he only holds me tighter, almost like he knows what I really need. Cradling my cheeks with his calloused hands, I’m surprised that those warm fingers belong to him. I don’t even realize we’re moving until we’re not longer in the hallway, out of sight and out of prying eyes. Through blurry eyes only, we shuffle into an empty sound booth and I’m glad to finally sit on something solid, the only feeling of assurance I think I’ll get tonight. As Dylan runs his hands up and down my arms, I finally come to a heavy realization. 

FJ betrayed me. The mere thought leaves a bitter taste both in my mouth and in the pit of my stomach. I want nothing more than to curl up, shy away from the world and stop existing entirely. But another hypothesis, now turned theory, arises, too. Everyone has seen your face, your performance. There’s no point in running. I think for a minute about the thousands of dollars it’d take to alter my features, to be able to hide in plain sight again, maybe this time without the ridicule. Realistically I don’t have the money for any of it, nor would I want to. A burning feeling starts to fester in my heart and I can’t quite place it until my breathing finally steadies. Pure fucking rage. Heartbreak turned into a scorching inferno. Despite the fact that my hands are still shaking and my legs are far from ready to bare weight much less my own, I push Dylan’s hands away. He gawks at the gesture but even more so when I present an accusation more so versus a question, “Did you help her?! Did you plan this?!” 

His deep blue eyes turn sad, hurt that I’d think so little of him. But I was just humiliated in front of the entire world. Right now, I have no time for compassion. That patient, kind side is gone. Ripped away for selfish purposes. “No! (Y/n)! When I bought the one sided mirror, that’s exactly what it was! One-sided! Not a window! Someone must’ve switched it out right before you got on stage. I didn’t know about any of this!” All of a sudden, the music booth door flew open with a loud thud. FJ is one of the first to enter, followed by some of our crew and I don’t hide my angered state. I push myself up onto unsteady feet and glare into her soul, damning her to hell. “(Y/n)- I-” She tries to speak but I’m not having any of it. “You did this.” She flinches under my rough tone, a sound I’m not even use to. “I trusted you. Told you about every bully, every night I cried. And you put me out there when I wasn’t ready. You threw me to side, FOR WHAT?! GREED?! MONEY?!” I don’t feel a lick of remorse for the tears that start to fall down her cheeks as I continue. “You’ve ruined my life! I CAN’T GO ANYWHERE NOW! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE HIDDEN! TO BE UNSEEN!” 

She screams back, “BUT THE WORLD NEEDED TO SEE WHAT YOU HAD!” I cuss back louder, voice hoarse with passion and anger. They dance together like lost partners. “YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT! IT WAS MY CHOICE AND YOU RIPPED THAT AWAY FROM ME!” FJ has nothing to say. But that’s because she knows I’m right. She’s cognitively aware of how bad this situation is starting to turn. I can’t go anywhere now that I’ve been seen. I have two options: vanish, never leave my house or the other, one I don’t even dare to utter. “Get out.” I reply shortly. The rest of the crew look terrified of my retched state, more disappointed in FJ than anything. She attempts to talk again, “(Y/n), please-” But begging won’t get her anywhere. It seems she did this alone because nobody attempts to vouch for her actions. Throwing her to side should be easy but it only closes the door on my torn heart, a brand to seal everything shut. “I said. Get. Out.” FJ needs no more than that before she runs out sobbing. I all but faint, exhausted and more drained than ever before. I sit for a moment before a person creeks the door open. 

“Umm.. Miss (Y/L/N). There’s someone who’d like to meet you.” 

(I hope you guys liked it. I’d like to make this a series after I finish my two requests. Tell me what you think in the comments please it really helps)

[dovechim]

Hopefully I am doing this right... but... Jin with "Crawl under the table and put your mouth to use, that's your dessert tonight." Because I read that and instantly thought of him xD. lol

➾ 1.2k

➾ seokjin x reader

➾ warnings: foodplay, mild cumplay

You hate sharing things, having grown up as an only child, butas you matured you got used to having other people share your personal space,use your things, etc.

But the one thing you never got over was having to share food,not even with your boyfriend.

Seokjin knows how territorial you get over your food because ofthat one time he dared to steal a single chicken nugget from you and nearlymade you cry, before declaring a cold war until he’d had to give in and buy youa twenty-piece meal. It may have been a little dramatic, when you think back onhindsight now, but it was your last nugget too, and Seokjin didn’t even askfirst.

This is how he pushes your buttons when he sits there with thatirritating smirk on his face after dinner, watching you rummage the fridge forthat last remaining almond magnum you swore you left for yourself the otherday.

When you give up, back achingly sore from bending over thefridge for the past 10 minutes, you turn around and advance toward the diningtable with your hands on your hips, ready to call him out for stealing your icecream when he brandishes the unwrapped stick as a weapon.

“Hey, that’s mine!” You protest, wide eyed as he opens his mouthand brings the chocolate covered treat closer and closer. He pauses with itjust resting on his lips teasingly as he spares you a glance, and the look inhis eyes tells you that he has only one thing in mind.

“Your ass looks great in those shorts, baby,” he comments casually,and you belatedly realise you’d been giving him the full view for the past tenminutes.

“Give that back.” Your eyes are only on the ice cream stick thathe holds precariously with two fingers, and you can almost imagine the taste ofalmonds and milk chocolate on your tongue.

Seokjin shifts in his seat, still holding the stick in the air,and you can see drops of condensation forming on the surface of the creamymilke chocolate. Panic makes your heart skip a beat, because ice cream meltsfast, and Seokjin looks like he’s in the mood to tease.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Please…?” You shouldn’t have to beg like this, dammit, it’syour damn ice cream in the first place, but Seokjin perks up at the sound ofyour voice.

“Nope, don’t wanna,” he smirks as he slides the tip of the icecream between his plush lips, and there’s a crack as he bites down on the hardchocolate shell. You moan in response, half in protest and half in pleasure athearing it, and he cocks an eyebrow at you even as his tongue laps at the whitecream beneath.

“Seokjin…”

“You really want it that badly, baby?”

The sight of his tongue and lips covered in white makes yourmouth water, and your core throbs as the sinful sight makes you want to suck onsomething else of his. The phallic shape of the ice cream in his hands doesn’thelp either, as Seokjin runs his tongue suggestively up the side of thechocolate shell, giving the top of it a little lick as the white cream dots hisupper lip.

“Y-yes.” 

“Crawl under the table and put your mouth to good use, that’syour dessert for tonight.”

You hesitate, watching as he continues to devour the sweetdessert with every lick of his tongue.

“The faster you make me cum, the more I’ll let you have.”

His sentence sends you to your knees immediately, shoving thechair aside to crawl under the table. Seokjin’s legs are spread wide apart, hiserection straining against the denim of his jeans already. Placing a hand onone of his thighs, you reach up to undo his zipper, freeing him and placingyour mouth on his weeping head immediately. 

You hear him hiss and pause in his licking and sucking aboveyou, and take it as good sign as you attempt to deepthroat him quickly. Ifthere’s one thing you know about your boyfriend, it’s how to get him off in 3minutes flat, and the thought of him cumming down your throat almost pales incomparison to aiming to eat as much of yourown ice cream as possible.

Almost.

He hits the back of your throat, and tears immediately well upin your eyes, but you force them back and swallow around him, feeling his precum going down your throat. The warm thickness of his cock contrasts with theicy coldness of the ice cream that you crave, and you work on running yourtongue over his sensitive length as you reach up to fondle with his balls.

Suddenly, he scoots his chair back a little, and you’re forcedto crawl forward on your knees to keep his dick in your mouth. Now from thisposition he can glance down at what you’re doing, but more importantly, he canhover the half eaten ice cream over your head, and that gives you even moremotivation to bob your head up and down his cock.

“That’s it, fuck, you take cock so fucking well,” he fists ahand in your hair even as you gag and choke around him, but the sloppy noisesof spit only serve to turn him on more. “Fuck, hold on a second.”

Seokjin drags your mouth off him for a second, bringing hisother hand that’s holding the ice cream near his cock so that the white vanillaice cream drips over his length. The icy cold sensation elicits a moan fromhim.

“There you go baby, you wanted ice cream right?”

You don’t hesitate as you engulf his length in your mouth oncemore, tasting the unique combination of his bitter precum and the sweetness ofthe ice cream melding together. With a glance upwards, you realise that the icecream’s nearly gone already- this won’tdo. 

You double your efforts to create a suction around his cock asyou shove his length into the tender walls of your throat, swallowing to mimicthe convulsing of your pussy walls on him, and after a few swallows, he burstsdown your throat in a shower of cum. Seokjin hasn’t cum for a while, whichmeans that he releases a torrent of cum down your throat as he throws his headback in rapture. Loosening your throat, you accept all that he has to offer,withstanding the bitterness of his cum just by keeping your eyes on whatremains of the ice cream in his hand.

When he’s finally done, soft and vulnerable in your mouth, yougive him a couple of final licks before reaching up to snatch the rest of theice cream from his hand, closing your mouth over it like you did with his cockand savouring the way his cum makes everything taste so much better.

[mestos]

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

--Jonghyun’s “Hallelujah”, my favourite song.

I want to send him off well, so I apologize in beforehand for this long post.

If you were one of my long-term followers, I assume you know of the time my url was locket-mesti, or locktae, right?

Yeah, there was that time. During early 2014, that was my url instead of what it currently is, mestos. It was a fusion of both the fandom names for a Key Stan and a Taemin stan - locket, and taemint respectively. When I first got into Shinee, I fell in love with Key, but the more I got into it I fell for Taemin as well. During that time I usually changed my url to what fandom I was in, and as I have been in actively in the shinee fandom, that was my url.

I first got into KPOP through SHINee. One of my close friends used to always be on her phone, and because we were allowed to listen to music in class, I always reprimanded her to do her work because I didn’t want to lose that privilege. Then she let me listen to some KPOP songs - introduced me to what I refer to as the “cursed” song because it was too catchy, T-ARA’s Bo Peep Bo Peep - such as SISTAR19′s Ma Boy, Wheesung’s UUU, Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry, etc. 

Then she let me listen to SHINee’s songs.

We watched a couple of their lives together, and I was pretty entranced with the way they danced. Lucifer was perhaps my favourite at the time because it was so catchy. After a time where I came over to her house I decided to look into SHINee, and I was absolutely in love with Jonghyun’s voice. I loved the way he carried those high notes so well, and his vocal range truly astounded me. Although he wasn’t my type at the time, he really stood out with the way he presented himself as a singer. It made him so memorable. 

During that time - even I cringe at the memory - I decided to dwelve into the fandom. I read lots of RPF, had my own share of OTPs, I was just so into Shawol hell. I listened to all their albums, watched all their variety show appearances, kept my favourites on repeat during my tough and hard moments. Eventually, it became a point where I just really loved all five of them equally, and I just say a name if I had to choose. Taemin’s solo got me sold on him, which is why I would say “Taemin” if I were asked to choose a bias, but even so, I loved all of them.

Then Jonghyun’s solo was announced!! I was so happy and proud because in my honest opinion, while Taemin’s was great, Jonghyun was the real singer. His ability to sing will always be at the top and no one will ever surpass his level out of the ones that I love now. I respect him as a musician because of his ability to compose and create songs with lots of feeling as well as showcase them in the greatest way possible. His looks weren’t bad either; after a while, I realized he was the most handsome in the band, with Minho coming second in my opinion. 

Then I listened to the album medley. I knew instantly that all of the tracks would be a massive hit. Hallelujah stood out to me the most, but literally every song was amazing. I highly encourage all of you to listen to it because it was the very first time I’ve ever loved every single song in an album. Not only the music, the music video’s aesthetic was so good - I remember being destroyed when his shirtless scenes came on haha - but in overall; I was just so proud of how far he came. I know I hadn’t been there in the fandom since he debuted, but I did my own backtracking and watched so many appearances and tv variety and interviews and concerts that they held over the years to keep up to date, and really; you’re able to really see how he grew.  

The album also holds some sentimental value to me. A friend of mine who had returned to South Korea had bought me the physical copy, and it was during a time where there was a bit of rift between my friendship circle, so I felt truly blessed when I was able to hold it in my hands. I was so happy, I made a scene in school - I’m embarrassed of it now - when I saw. When I was finally able to look at his photoshoots with my own eyes, in person, and listen to the full version of the bonus track he had for the physical-only copy, I realized that yeah, perhaps Jonghyun would be the man I’d stan after all.

So from that day, I became a bling bling stan. His stans have a funny name, but its catchy, and I’ll never forget it. I’ll always be a bling bling stan forever even if he is no longer here. 

Needless to say, my interest in SHINee gradually declined which I’m sadly guilty of. I returned back to them when they released their beautiful hit comeback “View”, and I loved “Odd Eye” so much. I’m actually listening to it as I type this. It’s definitely one of my most TOP FAVOURITE SONGS in all of the songs I’ve listened to. Watching their promotions, I just grew to love Jonghyun so much. I listened to his Blue Night Radio broadcasts from time to time and I truly admired his character and his overall niceness. I just loved him so much.

And because of that...I also knew he was going through a tough time.

I’m ashamed of...of forgetting.

During that time I was more conflicted because I was going through my own rough edges. I wasn’t able to get over Kris, Luhan and Tao leaving EXO, and I was generally unable to think of any other band than EXO. I became a full EXO-L at the time and arrogantly said “I actually don’t care about SHINee all that much anymore” at some point. Which was dumb, because I also at the time said “I wish I had just stayed in SHINee World so I don’t have to feel this pain”.

As my eventual KPOP frenzy toned down over the years, I still never stopped listening to KJH’s songs. I listened to them wherever I went, because they were always like an angel’s singing to my ears. Hallelujah most especially. I often listened to it as I walked home and tried to clear my thoughts or get them straight. The song got me through my rough times ; when I was at the lowest of the low ; and became one of my saving graces because of how beautiful it sounded. How Jonghyun’s voice sounded.

Just recently, I hadn’t really been into KPOP as much as before...then I hear the news.

It felt like my whole world just broke.

With no exaggeration, I didn’t feel anything at first. Literally. I skimmed through the internet, twitter especially, for anything that would claim this as fake. I literally could not believe that the man with the heavenly voice was gone. 

Then I moved from my chair, opened my light, and picked up the album that I stored away for safe keeping. My hands were shaking as I flicked through the images, took a picture, posted it on Instagram as a tribute, but at that moment I was still in numbing shock.

When I turned off the light, I fell to my knees and hugged the album tightly. My tears just poured out of me as if everything that had been weighing me down was finally being released. I cried for so long, on the floor amid a mess of a room I have, just holding his album tightly. Through the darkness I searched for his face in the posters of SHINee I hung up my wall, through the faintness of the light from the laptop screen, I just stared at his face, unable to face the truth.

I then decided to bite my tears down and found some strength. I put myself back on my chair and took out the CD from the album and opened it on my laptop. I hadn’t listened to Hallelujah in months - perhaps not even this entire year. When I clicked it and I heard his lines, 

“I’m thankful to God, I see an angel and tears come to my eyes, Hallelujah”

I really couldn’t stop myself. I weeped, I sobbed, I couldn’t do anything except cry as the album played. I really didn’t know what else I could do. 

After some time, I found some strength, in the darkness with nothing but the computer screen’s brightness as my light.

After that, it was a bit of a blur. I spoke to a friend, but I forced myself to draw something as I thought it would get my mind busy. Which is why this picture exists; I was projecting my feelings through Illium.

Eventually the official statement came by and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I shut everything off at around 4:30am, and in the dawn with the skies brightening up to signify a new day, I felt nothing but despair.

At night, I had no dreams. I usually have one, but this time, I had no dreams.

When I woke up in the afternoon I felt like I hadn’t slept. I felt nauseous, as per usual. I skimmed through twitter feed and there was nothing but tributes. My eyes were swollen, and my friend came over to stay the night, and the two of us just talked and talked about it.

The day was enjoyable because the two of us were able to comfort each other, but I often cried. Can I just admit I really hate crying? Because contrary to what people say, it doesn’t make me feel better. It makes me feel pathetic. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like I could be using my time doing something else instead of feeling these stupid things spill from my eyes and ruin my face.

Since then, I’ve been empty. Illium and MapleStory have been helping me get my mind busy, but all I was doing was ignoring the problem, which I’m facing now.

One of the reasons why I was so affected by this one celebrity death is because I know how he feels.

My parents tell me I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be. I tell myself I’m not depressed because I have no reason to be.

But do you know how it feels, when nothing in your life is wrong, things are fine, but yet you can’t help but feel empty all the time?

Everything you see is grey. Everything you feel is grey. When you think you’re happy, you can’t tell if you really are or if you’re forcing yourself to be. You feel “fine”, but what is “fine”? You don’t know the definition of happiness. You’re always tired, you always constantly feel like anything you do doesn’t amount to anything. You can’t seem to remember what it feels like to be happy for a long time. Everything you do is sluggish.

But you’re trying.

I read his suicide note, and I understood.

I was never angry at Jonghyun. 

Not once.

Because I know how it feels to fight your way through the darkness. I know how it feels to constantly keep trying to find things to fill the void in your heart that for some reason keeps growing the more you find. I know how it feels to fight the demons within you. I know how it feels to feel like you aren’t living up to expectations. 

Which is why I just want to say, like what everyone else is saying, “You did well.”

You did so well Jonghyun-oppa.

You must’ve been so tired. So, so tired. I’m tired too, everyday, I open my eyes and wonder if today is going to be another grey day or if its going to be blue, because my life doesn’t feel like it has any other colour. Any day you think you’re happy doesn’t last long, any day you feel like it has other colours disappear back into grey. 

I’m so glad you can rest now. I’m so glad you can just lay back and finally, the demons within you won’t bother you anymore. This isn’t a battle lost. This is a battle won, just not in the best of ways, because you can lay back in the heavens like a hero.

You did so well. Your music will forever be my inspiration, your songs will always flow through my ears all the way into my soul.

You did so well. The smiles you put into my face, into everyone’s faces, will never be forgotten.

You did so well.

You did so, so well.

Although I can never ever see you in person, you’ve imprinted yourself into the net and the world in a way that you can never be forgotten.

I love you, Kim Jonghyun. Thank you for being the best Bling Bling is Jonghyun.

Thank you so much.

Rest in Peace.