#weed delivery bang

[wintersera]

your order ma’am || g!p yujin x f!reader

notes: apparently my brain works at ungodly hours like its 8am rn??? ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY @pupyuj <33 well happy belated birthday, but oh well

cw: g!p yujin, switch!reader, switch!yujin, praise, crack only bc i laughed a few times while writing, WEED USAGE!!, reader and yujin get high

wc: 1.5k

in the middle of your living room, smoke filled the air as you took another puff from your almost burnt out spliff. your eyes trained on the tv that had a random episode of spongebob on the screen. probably one of the random old seasons, the funnier ones obviously. the moonlight cascaded through your window illuminating the side of your face, blunt as well.

another smoke session today again. and for what? the nth time this week. to be fair it was a stressful month and no one was there to comfort you, except for the frequent delivery guys who’d deliver your food to you whenever you felt the need to snack on something. they wouldn’t comfort you, rather, you’d like to believe they’re comforting you with their presence. presence being them knocking on your door and leaving after 10 seconds.

every delivery was the same, the old ‘shove the bag into your face, ask if it’s you and then leave’.

tonight was different though. you ordered from the same place a good 30 minutes ago thinking your food would arrive on time, you’d gotten accustomed to their arrival times so you could just guess without having to look at your phone. yet the delivery guy never came.

“man.. where the fuck is my food at?” rolling up another blunt since your last one wasn’t strong enough. you sigh and stare directly at your tv once more. heh… funny spongebob episode. your lips met the tip of your freshly rolled blunt, lighting up the end and inhaling.

knock knock knock

the knock didn’t register in your head until you heard the person bang on your door three more times, although they seemed like very hesitant bangs, with an odd spacing between the second and the last one.

“oh fuck” immediately dropping the blunt upon the last knock, which somehow made you panic. why in hell did you think it was the police???

right, because the police were definitely at your house and not the delivery guy with a bag of food waiting for you.

i mean, you are high so…. but anyway, it was raining and you suddenly regained the knowledge that you ordered food. you reluctantly opened the door, with the thought of the police at the back of your mind, to find a pretty handsome looking woman outside your door.

“uh… why are you here” why the fuck did you say that? the taller woman scrunched her nose a little, maybe because you reeked of weed, looked around awkwardly and spoke to you without initiating eye contact.

“you called and i… came to your address to give you the pizza you ordered”

“how’d you know i lived here?” oh so now you’re interrogating the poor girl.

“wha- that’s not… anyway here’s your pizza ma’am” shoving the pizza box in front of your face. classic.

“ohhh shit pizza, okay nice. how much?” words slurring out of your mouth. your hands reached for your purse that you conveniently had in your pocket.

“it’ll be $18” looking around the place as if she had no time to stand around.

oh what the fuck.

where’s your cash gone….?

“don’t be alarmed… but i have no cash” you say with a smile, your eyes half lidded as you chuckle even though the opposing girl was nowhere near impressed. the situation was quite ridiculous to you, but you felt a tinge of regret after saying what you had said.

from what you could tell, it was her first time on the job. you had never seen her come round to your house on a random thursday night, no wonder why she looked so nervous “oh um, sorry i don’t have any cash i could….”

yeah, you’re high out of your mind right now. no coherent thoughts whatsoever, but she’s pretty, and you’re not thinking straight “i mean… i could pay another way. you wouldn’t mind would you?”

you beckoned her inside of your home, taking the pizza box and placing it beside your ashtray on the coffee table “how can you pay me back if you don’t have any cash? are you gonna paypal me or something”

“are you dense by any chance”

“n-no… i’m just confused. wait, why are you taking your clothes off?” you picked back up the disregarded spliff after you took your shirt off, inhaling and blowing the smoke in the opposite direction.

“paying you the other way, duh. like in those stupid porn videos where the delivery guy does whatever they want to the person because they didn’t have any cash on them… you don’t like the idea?”

“that seems really unrealistic and stupid, but um i’m not… uh how do i word this? i don’t m-mind” unintentionally stuttering, bewildered by the situation because honestly what the fuck is going on.

“come here…” you squint your eyes at her name tag “ahn yujin- your name has a nice ring to it” she sat on your sofa, shaking from what could be adrenaline or just anxiety. but considering you accidentally hot boxed her in your small living room, it’s most likely adrenaline.

you slid yourself in between her two thighs, smirking as you unzipped her jeans. you eagerly stripped her from her jeans, following her boxers? it’s 2023 you’re not gonna judge someone for wearing boxers, but-

oh?

yujin’s cock sprung up, which genuinely caught you off guard, moving back a little because of how shocked you were by the sudden reveal. my god, she was huge. bigger than the average man.

considering you were still heavily intoxicated, you didn’t believe it was real at first. you stared at it for a while thinking that maybe you were just- crazy? but no, it was very much real and very much hard.

“d-don’t look” muttering under her breath. yujin covered her face out of embarrassment “i swear it’s not what it looks like- mh”

“you got turned on by me didn’t you” giggling after kissing the tip of her cock “i bet you were waiting for this exact situation to happen, didn’t you?” you say before taking her whole length, the tip hitting the back of your throat with ease.

“f..fuck, it’s- mmmngh” she couldn’t do much, the air was thick with clouds of smoke due to the lack of airflow in your room. it was making her head hazy, unable to think coherently. yujin’s moans were soft and low, her hands roamed around and grabbed your pillow, her hips moved at the pace of your head going up and down, which in fact made you groan in approval.

in the meantime, your hand reached down to tend to your own wetness, caressing your folds as you continued to suck her cock.

without thinking, yujin lifted herself off the sofa. the marijuana made her move without thinking, grabbing you and tossing you onto the cushions “you hinted that i could do whatever, right?” you found yourself shocked, what made her suddenly so confi- the weed you dumbass.

“don’t think you're slick, i saw you playing with yourself” moving aside your panties while licking her lips, yujin shuffling in between your thighs “i think you should come around my cock instead” how, and when, was she this vulgar? she teased your hole before slowly pushing herself into you, her girthy cock filling you up in no time. you both moaned in unison, your fists balling the fabric of yujin’s shirt. it felt… it felt way too big for your tight pussy.

“y-yujin.. you’re too big, it kinda hurts-“ she gave you no time to rest, rocking her hips back and forth as soon as she got comfortable inside of you.

at first she was going slow and steady, but gradually she increased her speed. within minutes of slowly pumping her cock in and out, she was mercilessly ramming into your cunt seconds later. the pain at first was unbearable, she was just that big, but the faster she fucked you the more pleasure you felt. every part of her cock hit every spot you couldn’t find yourself, and god it felt way too good.

“so- so good… so tight.. mmghn fuck, your pussy feels amazing” embarrassingly enough, you moaned so loud at the comment. her praise alone was so comforting and so erotic that you couldn’t help but squeeze down on her length, she noticed how you reacted to her sweet words, wanting more of your reactions “you’re so pretty… under me. all fucked out, such a good girl”

her comment sent you over the edge, rolling your eyes back as your back slowly arches off the sofa. almost inaudible as you bite your lip to mute your own moans. yujin followed shortly after, giving one final thrust into you before stilling her hips and letting her warm cum shoot into you.

“that… was… so good” you mutter between breaths. you were completely spent, your legs were feeling like jelly but somehow yujin was still hard.

“still not enough. you still need to repay me more”

yeah no, you still needed to pay for service fees and shit. thankfully it was her last delivery for tonight.

[louisetaylor]

TUA SEASON 4 REWRITE

because if you want something done right... *rolls eyes*

In the original single timeline, we got a wonderful season 4 of The Umbrella Academy. I'm here to remind you of your latent memories of the original season 4. Together we can restore it to its former glory. Like a club. We need a name. Call ourselves the Keepers or something similar.

Here's what I know:

Luther is putting work into his (admittedly rundown and condemned) house. It's growing more welcoming with every antique sconce and threadbare thrifted rug. Klaus lives with him, advising him on the finer points of exotic dancing. We see the family visiting. Claire knows where the snacks are. Luther picks up and tosses Lila's kids in the air, trying and failing to learn words in Punjabi. He struggles to move in new furniture, longing for his old strength back, his familiar hairy body.

Viktor owns a bar in Canada. He's proud of it, but despite bantering with the regulars, he isn't close to anyone. He still wants to shout at Reginald (for everything) and at Allison (for everything else). Sometimes the patrons get too loud, and Viktor focuses on the sound of the radio playing in the background, wanting to shout at the loud talkers and knock them off their stools with the sound of his voice. He misses Harlan. He wonders about autism, and why he understood the boy so well.

Diego practices throwing knives in the back yard after the kids have gone to bed. Fed up with being a delivery driver, he briefly considers opening a party planning business, but Lila laughs her head off at the idea, saying he'd explode if she even bought a pinata from the wrong side of town or something. He runs alone at night, slows, stops, bangs his head against a telephone pole in frustration.

Lila spars with Diego in the basement, kendo one night, aikido the next...It vents their anger and relieves their boredom. She has an idea of opening a martial arts studio. When she pins Diego down, they're both visibly into it. She goes away to a book club that might not be a book club, wishing for a bigger world.

The kids aren't just pawns for the plot or for conflict. They're people who ask inconvenient questions. "Where did Mummy learn to fight?" They make up bedtime stories about their parents' pasts. Superhero stories which are eerily close to the truth.

Klaus lives with Luther, sober, germaphobic, plagued by nightmares, afraid of death and love and life because he's seen so very much of all of them. He cooks for Luther, which sometimes turns out well and sometimes not. "Well, it's not the same when you make it without hashish..." When the marigold crashes back into his life, he's angry, and yet he's elated to feel the power back in him, he knows he can't go back to being half dead and unfeeling, he needs to wear something silk and put on some eyeliner and be wild again, as he always really was.

Allison tries out for every commercial in town and spars with her daughter, who's turning out to be a stubborn opposing mirror of her mother. Claire spits uncomfortable truths at her mother like her too-strong influence on others, her lecturing them instead of listening to them, kicking at their weak points. She wonders who she is when she's not acting or rumoring people. Maybe one of these days she'll ask someone for help.

Number Five has been trying to remember his name. He's been working for the CIA because a man's gotta eat, but he clashes with his boss a little too much on account of his smart mouth. He can't help acting like a young man sometimes, because he never really got to be young, feel young, act young. He can't help trying to jump away sometimes. He feels trapped in one place, one time.

Ben just got out of prison. The season starts with him being taken back to Luther's place, being welcomed in by Klaus and offered some cookies that smell suspiciously of weed. He's annoyed by the running laughing visiting kids, but the house reminds him strangely of home. He'll curse Luther out, but Klaus gave him weed cookies, and the kids don't deserve to be scared or upset, do they? He's not a monster, after all.

[kitsune-pop]

Hazy Daze

CW: casual vore, weed, digestion

Hazel sat down on her living room floor, leaning against the couch. It was her day off, and she was gonna make it a good one, starting with some smoke, snacks and games. She carefully packed a bowl for her trusty Kirby bong, lit it up and popped open a box of cheese snacks to nibble on while she booted up her Wii for Mario Kart. Today was gonna be a good day.

0o0

Hazel was having a great time. Her living room was sufficiently cloudy, she was beating the computer drivers within an inch of their lives and she was relaxed enough that even the occasional Blue Shell didn't bother her (or the following Red Shell, or Green Shell, or Star…). Even so, she was still hungry. Two hours into the day and she'd already eaten all the snacks.

She shook her bangs out of her eyes as she crossed the finish again, dirty blonde hair falling right back into her face as she reached for her phone. She had told herself she wasn't going to order anything, but her tummy had started grumbling at her–which she absentmindedly rubbed through her tank top as she looked at her delivery options. Pizza was always a good choice, plus it wasn't too expensive. She cracked a grin when a popup of "Still hungry? Order the delivery person for dinner too! Take advantage of our Delivery Delivery deal today!" showed up on the app.

"Not this time, capitalism. I'm watching my bank account today." Hazel giggled a bit, ordering her pizza and packing a tad more in her Kirbong. It shouldn't take more than half an hour for her pizza to get here, and she wanted to have the perfect amount of munchies by the time it got delivered.

0o0

After the third time of falling off the track on Maple Treeway, Hazel paused her game to laugh at herself. The pot was definitely affecting her now. She guessed after a few hours of smoking even someone with her tolerance would start to feel it. Polite knocking grabbed her attention and she got to her feet, throwing a pair of pajama pants on before she answered the door.

A cute girl stood on her dingy welcome mat, complete with a hat starring a pizza logo and a single pizza box balanced in her hands. She barely came up to Hazel's chin, but at 193 cm most girls were shorter than her anyways.

The delivery girl looked up at Hazel with a brilliant smile, beaming up at her. "Thank you for choosing Happy Helper's Pizzeria! I hope you enjoy your order!"

Hazel blinked slowly, brain struggling to break through the fog before she reached for her pizza. "Thanks, I'm starving." Her belly gave an audible grumble, which she tried to stifle by placing a hand on her midsection.

The smaller girl glanced down shyly before looking back up at Hazel's face. "It sure sounds like it! Good thing you ordered the special!" She reached up and took off her hat–straight dark hair dropping to just above her shoulders–before moving to unbutton her work uniform, still smiling all the way.

Hazel quickly raised a hand to stop the delivery girl (although not before giving her a quick once-over), lifting the pizza box in one hand over her head before speaking up. "Uh, I only ordered the pizza. No offense." The shorter girl looked up at Hazel before pointing at the pizza in her hand.

"On your order it says you upgraded for Delivery Delivery though."

Confused now, Hazel looked at her receipt to see, yup, one pizza and one Delivery Delivery special. She quickly grabbed her phone, opened the app and looked at her orders. As she did, the clouds in her head parted just enough for her to remember opening the app shortly after placing the order and adding the deal to her delivery. Looks like the munchies took another victory on her bank account.

She shrugged, pocketing her phone and opening her door up for the delivery girl to walk in. "Hey, I won't turn down a meal like you! Especially after I already spent the money…"

The girl laughed, her smile not as brilliant as before but much more genuine. "Pretty sure we've all made bad decisions when we're high." She finished unbuttoning her top, tossing it on the floor before she reached down to untie her shoes, giving Hazel a fantastic view of her next meal's assets.

A plump ass, juicy thighs, smooth skin, this was someone who took good care of themselves and probably knew they weren't gonna last long around predators. As she kicked off her shoes and socks she turned around, showing off a small muffin top and perky boobs. Catching Hazel staring she laughed and winked at the tall pred before dropping her pants and panties in one movement, stepping out of the pool of clothes and smiling salaciously.

"So, how do you want me?" The girl posed a little bit, showing off for Hazel as the tall girl put her long forgotten pizza on the counter. The pred walked forward, grabbed the girl's shoulders and quickly stuffed her head into her mouth, moaning at the taste of natural shampoo (coconut?) flooding her mouth.

She quickly worked her way down, gulping down her neck and shoulders, giving some extra attention to her prey's tasty tits. She felt the girl jerk in surprise before feeling soft hands kneading her stomach, giving gentle rubs and pinches. Wasting no time Hazel lurched forward, relaxing her muscles and stuffing the girl into her throat down to her belly button. Now for the annoying part.

Hazel leaned back, picking her prey up off the ground and holding the young girl above her head. The experienced pred stepped back, leaning against her counter before beginning to gulp her meal down in earnest, gravity helping deliver the girl into her stomach. With a few powerful swallows Hazel quickly had the girl tucked away in her belly, tank top riding up and pajama pants pushing down under the dome of overstuffed gut.

Hazel stood there, panting to herself as her meal shifted into a more comfortable position inside her. Already she felt her stomach groaning and squeezing around her meal, and she grabbed her pizza before waddling over to her couch and plopping down on it. The pred moaned at how full she felt, rubbing her stretched skin as she felt her passenger start to play with herself even as her belly did its best to digest her.

Hazel started to get hard listening to the muffled pants and moans coming from her tummy. Unable to think of an excuse not to, the buck toothed pred reached under her stomach and into her pants, grabbing her cock and beginning to rub one out. With one hand in her pants and another rubbing the taut skin of her belly Hazel was quickly bringing herself to orgasm. The feeling of a stuffed, bloated belly was made even sweeter with the gasps and moans coming from within, the noises starting to get drowned out by the grumbling of the organ itself. She could feel every twitch and movement from her prey inside her, and could tell when the smaller girl came, her stomach deforming slightly as the girl arched her back, screaming in pleasure before relaxing.

Of course, relaxing just meant Hazel's body won the little war of attrition they had between them. The muscles quickly clenched and squeezed the girl within her into a tight ball, and a final powerful belch signaled the last of the air being forced out. Hazel came hard as she burped, panting and moaning as she made a mess of her pants. She leaned back against her couch, breathing hard for a minute before glancing at her Kirbong, a smile on her lips. She still had the whole rest of the day to herself, didn't she?

0o0

Hazel jerked awake at a loud bang, followed by some choice cursing. "Seriously, Hazel?! What the fuck! We were supposed to go to the movies tonight!"

The tall pred looked up at her friend Trixie. The short girl was fuming, red faced and glaring. Hazel looked around her living room, noting the empty pizza box and her character idling in front of a wall in her game, the race long over. She rubbed her head before belching, putting a hand on the much smaller bulge in her middle.

"Sorry, I didn't think I was gonna fall asleep." She noted Trixie's flushed face and the way she completely refused to look at her bloated belly. Grinning, she leaned forward, her stomach gurgling as another burp popped out of her mouth. "But that doesn't mean we can't find something to do here."

[ctrlhope]

📂 CTRLHOPE : The best files found while searching through others PC’s! They have all the love in the world to them!

✰ last updated : 3/06/24 ! ™ ☻

➜ ┊: kim seokjin ᵎ ✰

Golden Boy (m) » @kpopfanfictrash

✰ pornstar!seokjin

✰ synopsis: The golden boy of the porn industry, prettier than half his female co-stars. Will sue if you pull his hair. Always bothering his neighbors with pizza delivery.

╭♡ The Obsidian Pearl (m) (tw dc) » @angelicyoongie

✰ merman au, yandere!seokjin

✰ synopsis: Sailing through The Dead Man’s Passage is a death sentence and the whole crew knows it. But with the ship’s stocks dwindling fast, your captain is left with no other choice. When a haunting melody makes the crew jump ship one by one, you find yourself alone with the demon lurking in the murky red water. As the creature beckons you to jump into the icy ocean – “come to me, pet” – you find that you can’t do anything but obey.

➜ ┊: min yoongi ᵎ ✰

The Mark of Yun-Ki (m) » @ladyartemesia

✰ royal au, hybrid!yoongi

✰ synopsis: For a thousand years the tiger god Yun-Ki has marked the heirs of the Min Empire and thus only a marked heir can inherit the throne. When the beautiful daughter of the Min Emperor’s loyal warlord rescues a mysterious tiger hybrid from the imperial prison, she unleashes a secret that the throne would kill to protect. The young emperor claims to be the chosen heir… but who really bears the Mark of Yun-Ki?

╭♡ Beloved (m) » @bang-tan-bitches

✰ yandere, royal au, so good

✰ synopsis: Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win.

Late Bloomer (m) » @tayegi

✰ a/b/o, heat cycles

✰ synopsis: You were, what they called, a late bloomer. You didn't get your period until you were nearly seventeen-years-old and when all of your classmates were talking about boys and smoking weed after school, you were playing neopets in the back of the classroom. When your first heat suddenly hits in the middle of a ski trip, you’re forced to seek out the only other wolf in a 50 mile radius: your brothers best friend, Min Yoongi.

╭♡ Dig Deep (m) » @johobi

✰ alien au, yoongi has tentacles

✰ synopsis: The night before your wedding to a man you couldn’t find any more repugnant, you seek out the mercantile aid of an unscrupulous space pirate. 

Fawn (m) (tw dc) » @silv3rswirls

✰ yandere au, corruption, age-gap, coercion

✰ synopsis: wide eyed, bushy tailed. the perfect little church girl parents can brag about. that is until you’re dragged into the waiting hands of min yoongi.

➜ ┊: jung hoseok ᵎ ✰

╭♡ Hot Rod (m) » @kinktae

✰ 1950s au, greaser!hoseok

✰ synopsis: a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the cute new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

Run Little Rabbit (m) » @readyplayerhobi

✰ hybrid au, college au, a/b/o

✰ synopsis: Jung Hoseok - the Alpha wolf of his pack and far out of your league. As a rabbit shifter who still jumps around predators, you fantasise about your dangerous crush from a safe distance, particularly as he doesn’t like you. But what happens when he goes into heat and you’re the only one he’ll accept?

╭♡ Locks and Barriers (m) » @lemonjoonah

✰ post apocalyptic au, language barrier, hoseok is such a sweetheart

✰ synopsis: One of the most amazing experiences in your life soon descends into chaos. Your trip to Seoul becoming overshadowed by a cataclysmic event leaving you alone in a city that is not your own. Your only hope? To find the man who has sent out one last broadcast to the city in search of any survivors, but you’ll have to overcome more than distance if you wish to become closer to him.

➜ ┊: kim namjoon ᵎ ✰

➜ ┊: park jimin ᵎ ✰

╭♡ Otherworldly (m) (tw dc) » @sinning-on-a-sunday

✰ coralline au, yandere!jimin, dc

✰ synopsis: when you discover a tiny door in your home that leads to a much better version of your own life, it seems too good to be true. little do you know, the man posing as your boyfriend may be a lot more dangerous than you care to admit. and he is not intent on letting you leave.

Labour of Love (tw dc) » @yandere-society

✰ yandere!jimin, unhealthy relationships, dc

✰ synopsis: A love so sweet tastes just as sour. Jimin is unable to live without you.

Power Play (m) » @dovechim

✰ pornstar!jimin

✰ synopsis: You know him as the A lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.  

➜ ┊: kim taehyung ᵎ ✰

Chism (m) » @kpopfanfictrash

✰ fantasy au, god!taehyung, rings

✰ synopsis: The entirety of your life, you have never fit in. A woman soldier. A passive power, wielded in the land of the bold. Despite this, you have followed your father’s advice and striven to blend into the crowd. You feel you have succeeded, until your Queen calls you before her with an arduous task. Guard the darkest cell in the lowest dungeon. Do not listen to what the prisoner has to say and above all else, keep your head. The old gods may be dead, but the humans are living.

Planning Ahead (m) » @dovechim

✰ established relationship

✰ synopsis: technology has reached its peak when taehyung gets notified of your ovulation dates through his phone. baby making sex is so much easier when all he has to do is convince you to let him put in just the tip, and rely on your hormones to do the rest. you call him a sly fox. taehyung thinks it’s just planning ahead. 

Falling, Falling, Gone » @johobi

✰ college au, soccer player!taehyung

✰ synopsis: Taehyung. Captain of the soccer team. Master of your heart. You'll never tell him for fear of rejection. So why the fuck are you about to do it in front of dozens of his peers?

You Should See Me in a Crown (m) » @sinning-on-a-sunday

✰ royal au, yandere!prince!taehyung, dc

✰ synopsis: you’ve been a servant to the Kim family for years, but when Taehyung becomes king, he starts to show an interest in you, and it doesn’t take long for him to claim you as his. 

╭♡ Isn’t That What Brothers Do? (m) » @aris-ink

✰ step brother au, just the tip, top 5 ffs of all time

✰ synopsis: Taehyung helps you clean up after a party just like brothers should do.

Instinct (m) (tw dc) » @deepdarkdelights

✰ hybrid au, yandere!taehyung, beautiful take on hybrids

✰ synopsis: He was huddled in the middle of the road, his arms wrapped around himself as he remained crouched on the wet pavement. But you knew he was looking at you. His golden eyes were glowing back at you, like a predator glaring at you from the depths of the jungle. There was something inside you that knew that he was dangerous, an echo of intuition from thousands of years before you. But you were a modern human, you were good at ignoring your instincts.

➜ ┊: jeon jungkook ᵎ ✰

Liars and Fire (m) » @kpopfanfictrash

✰ ex husband!jungkook

✰ synopsis: It’s been nearly a year since your divorce was finalized. Why, then, do you still find yourself falling into bed with your ex?

Over the Edge (m) » @kpopfanfictrash

✰ hockey player!jungkook

✰ synopsis: so, you’re dating. everything is dandy, the sex is knocking your socks off, but what happens when you get in the First Real Fight? 

Quarter Quell » @laughing-with-god

✰ hunger games au, yandere!jungkook

✰ synopsis: Every 25 years there is a Quarter Quell edition of the Hunger Games. Quells mark the anniversaries of the districts' defeat by the Capitol, and include special celebrations. The Games involves some sort of twist that makes them even more disastrous or difficult to compete in, or watch.

╭♡ Close (m) (tw dc) » @aft3rhrs

✰ step-brother au, yandere!jungkook, so. so good.

✰ synopsis: You and your step-brother have always been so close.

╭♡ The Crimson Shell (m) (tw dc) » @angelicyoongie

✰ merman au, yandere!jungkook, oviposition

✰ synopsis: you had always found comfort in being at the beach, often spending hours just watching the waves lap against the shore. but unbeknowst to you – something had been watching you back.

➜ ┊: poly ᵎ ✰

Fortuna (m) » @readyplayerhobi

✰ pairing: Yoongi x Reader, Hoseok x Reader, Jimin x Reader

✰ future au, breeding kink

✰ synopsis: 300 years ago, half the world’s population died when the experimental Fortuna virus escaped. The remaining male population has been rendered infertile with one loophole that has meant polyamorous relationships have become the norm.

╭♡ Between Two Sinners (m) (tw dc) » loquaciouslo

✰ pairing: Yoongi x Reader, Jimin x Reader, eventual Taehyung x Reader

✰ church au, priests son!yoongi, very dark content

✰ synopsis: In which you find yourself praying against your growing desires for the pastor's son - and his best friend - only to find it in the most faithless of places. When devils are sweet and their faces come in sets of two, what are you supposed to do? Will you resist? Or succumb to temptation?

Entangled (m) » @caelesjjk

✰ pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

✰ superhero!au, spiderman!jungkook, venom!taehyung

✰ synopsis: is it possible for your heart to belong to two different people with two different secrets that you need to keep?

Sleeping (m) (tw dc) » @aris-ink

✰ pairing: maknae line x reader

✰ somnophilia, sharing is caring <3

✰ synopsis: the maknae line has been using you while you sleep.

╭♡ Animal Farm (m) (tw dc) » @joonberriess

✰ pairing: taehyung x reader, jungkook x reader

✰ post apocalyptic au, dark au, my comfort fic fr <\3

✰ synopsis: the world as you once knew it is in shambles, society is gone and those who remain fight for survival in the remaining days. you end up caught in the fire, targeted by two depraved hunters who believe you’d make a good pet. “is it a farm or is it society?”

➜ ┊: Other ᵎ ✰

Jeju Shore (m) » @here2bbtstrash @gimmethatagustd @sailoryooons

✰ one-shot pairings: Jimin x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

✰ jersey shore au, 2009 au, smut, a real good time

✰ synopsis: This season on Jeju Shore, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook fist-pump their way through Labor Day Weekend. 2009 is their fucking year and they are ready to tear up the clubs. Hide your vodka redbulls, your baby oil, and your pink Sony digital camera - the maknaes are in town.

Bouquet (m) (tw dc) » @deepdarkdelights

✰ ot7 (not poly) one shot series

✰ yandere au, such a fun world to dive into, hoseoks part is beautiful

✰ synopsis: Seven men are dying to give you love, will you accept their affections? Be warned, it’s quite easy for these affections to develop into a deep, dark, twisted affair.

© all rights reserved to the original creators of these works ; do not plagiarise, copy, or steal

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Pineapple

-> Day 1: Scoops Ahoy!

"That's all? Tha-aaaaaah?"

A weed-smelling flour-covered finger wags in front of Steve's face, successfully distracting him from the conversation on the company phone with a paying customer on company time.

Maybe he would feel a bit bad about that if he gave a fuck.

"Stevie. How many times. You can't forget to pop the question."

"Oh fuuuuuuck." Steve tries to seem remorseful. Judging by Argyle's expression he is not successful.

He sighs and turns back to the phone. "Excuse me, sir, but I forgot to pop the question."

There is a short pause. "...pop the question?"

"Yes, I am afraid that otherwise it won't be possible to take your order."

"...alright?"

Steve nods to himself and takes a deep breath. It is going to be fine. Sure, by now he has been disappointed far too often to count - it is the price to pay for good weather and hot people he supposes. But something about that voice makes this particular dude seem trustworthy. Almost...familiar. Maybe...maybe he can dare to hope again? (Never mind that he has had that very same thought the last five times he miserably and pathetically lost)

"Sir, do you want pineapple on your pizza?"

"I. I asked for two Margheritas. Why-?"

"Okay, I will count that as a no. Perfect. Sir, I can confidently say that it was an absolute pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for choosing-"

Before Steve can finish the obligatory goodbye speech they are forced to give in the end of every call, the phone is swiftly removed from his hands.

"What did he want again?"

"Margherita."

"Alright, sir. Do you want some pineapples on your Manhattan?"

Steve shakes his head. "Wrong alcoholic beverage, dude. How much did you smoke?!"

"Whatever. My friend John here knows what I mean. Dontcha?"

"How-?"

"You can't just call every customer John."

"It is the eighth most common name in America. I'm bound to get it right sometime. Steven." And with that he goes back to the conversation they were actually being paid to hold.

There are some unintelligible sounds from the other end of the line and Argyle frowns. That is worrying. Argyle is the chilliest dude Steve has ever met. If Argyle is frowning, you know that something is seriously wrong.

His next words are not particularly reassuring, either. "You okay dude? Should I call like the ambulance or something?"

Steve swears his heart stops beating for a second. "What the fuck Argyle?! What is happen-?"

He is once again silenced by the same finger from before, this time pressed against his lips.

"Didn't your mama teach you to be quiet when someone is on the phone?"

Steve quietly but passionately shows his co-worker the middle finger. He then proceeds to start banging on the counter for no reason other than to be a menace. His hand hurts like a bitch but at least he is being obnoxious - not that Argyle seems to care. Or even notice. Fucking weed.

"Wait. Steve? Excuse me, your co-worker's surname wouldn't happen to be... Harrington? Right?"

Argyle pauses. Then Argyle smiles. Steve knows what that motherfucker is planning before he even has to open his mouth. He tries to wrestle the phone out of the other's grip but alas, Steve was cursed with an inferior height and is unable to do anything but helplessly watch as his downfall occurs.

"What would you be willing to exchange for that knowledge?"

Steve sighs and goes to take the whiteboard from the back. When Argyle first claimed that everyone would jump onto the opportunity to add extra pineapple onto their pizza, Steve had thought it was once again the weed talking. Who in their right mind would willingly add more pineapple on pizza?!

Apparently, a lot of people. He has long stopped being surprised when Argyle once again triumphantly tells him that they've got another tally for pineapple. Fucking California.

Twenty minutes later he is parking the Surfer Boy Pizza van on another stranger's driveway. Technically Surfer Boy Pizza encourages their delivery workers to go on motorcycle, but both Steve and Argyle lied on their interview and neither can actually drive one, so they always take the van.

Steve has seen a lot of things in his lifetime. Impossible and weird and otherworldly things. But nothing could have prepared him for what awaited him behind this particular door.

"Wow. You really are Steve Harrington."

...What.

"Jonathan Byers?! What the fuck are you doing here dude?" Very eloquent. Steve knows he must look extremely stupid right now, wordlessly opening and closing his mouth like a very confused fish. Where is smooth playboy Steve "The King" Harrington when you need him?

"Yeah. Just moved here with my family. Who would've thought that we both would end up in the same Cali corner."

"Almost like it was destiny."

An awkward pause ensues. Why the fuck did he say that?!

"You. You're looking good." Jonathan says in that earnest matter-of-fact way of his and Steve can't help but smile. He wouldn't be surprised if his cheeks were pink.

"You look like absolute shit", he answers. Because he is sleep deprived and shook and still a bit high and that is honestly a pretty accurate description of the boy in front of him. Unfortunately, it is also wholly inappropriate for the atmosphere they are currently building. "But don't worry! I like that in a man."

...

Maybe it wasn't a higher power that made Steve and Jonathan meet again after so many years, but someone must have done something for Jon to agree to go out with him after whatever the fuck that was. (not that he's complaining)

@stonathanweek

[macaronienthusiast]

Weed Schedule

7pm - blinker with pengamina 7:15 - "woah bro this shit HITTIN" 7:45 - *watching yt* "yo what am I even watching rn" 8:15 - "duuuuuude I want lava cakes rn" *orders dominoes* 9:00 - "yoooo why is the trek to my delivery driver 500 feet from my door so far i feel like frodo rn" 9:21 - dude this pizza and lava cakes r so mediocre they always are why do I always order dominoes" 9:30 - "dude I need to lock the fuck in" *do 3.5 pages of homework in an impossible amount of time* 9:50 - i want...curtain bangs 10:10 - oh god do i hate this?...no actually it's the best thing ever 10:12 - abuse my wife penjamina again 10:14 - mmmmmmmmmmmm writing an absolute tumblr flop post 10:15 - realize this is just greentext with times instead of >

[meilunye]

♡ Ship: Beidou/Ningguang ♡ Word count: 6,4k ♡ AO3: meow

This fic was written for Explosion: Sapphic Big Bang as a collaboration with lingua di gatto. You can find her art inside the fic and on twitter at this link! ♥♥♥

While moving from job to job to survive, Beidou once met a poor street seller with a sharp tongue. She surely couldn't imagine that, throughout the years, their bond would continue and evolve, until…

❝When she first saw her hanging around the docks, Beidou didn’t think much of it. A chance encounter like countless others, perhaps not even the most fortunate— that’s all there was to it.

Liyue Harbor was home to a multitude of different people, ranging from businessmen to artists, from shady traders to curious tourists. Beidou’s earliest meeting with the crowded atmosphere of the city had been shocking, an overwhelming surprise for someone used to the peaceful life of a humble village.

Moving from the shoal with its white sandy beaches tickling her soles and its skin-scorching sun, Beidou had greeted the hustle of the city with fearsome worship, quivering before that beacon of civility.

The ocean was still the lead scenery of Beidou’s days. Every morning she woke up at dawn, crawled out of the loaned raft she slept in, then rushed to the docks to begin work. As she breathed in the salty scent of the waves and felt the mischievous breeze running through her hair, she observed.

Her eyes scanned the port in search of anything that could mean profit. Her master had been painfully clear in his teachings: scout the area, weed out the people in dire need of help, state your conditions to solve the issue at hand. Make the most of any chance, seize the moment to rise like a star in the night canvas.

Beidou didn’t share the old man’s glorious dreams. When she rolled in bed at night, what lulled her to sleep weren’t fantasies of fame, wealth, or power. Everything her heart craved was already in front of her: the sea, the foam, the boundless horizon. Helping others out wasn’t but a temporary source of income, some savings to someday purchase her own ship.

The road ahead was long and paved with difficulties. Mora wasn’t easy to gather, especially when Beidou had nothing to offer except for her labor. Translating, transporting wares, deliveries… She put on the market everything she could do and everything to her knowledge. Food, water, and a roof above the head were vital, yet didn’t come at a low price— Beidou had to live off the bare necessities to take shy steps towards her dream future.

Being a child was another disadvantage. People often took pity on her, mistaking her for a lost girl. They handed her candy and treats as they would to a stray puppy. Once she explained what she had come for, their attitude shifted: they grew cold, turning her down and running away.

The mantra accompanying her along the journey was a song she had heard from the sailors: “its fins formed the ocean deep, its tail the mountains high” . That image alone, the battle of fishermen and pirates waiting in ambush in the mist, one to flee and one to prey, was enough to push her to cling to her dream for just a little longer.

While days rolled by on the calendar and the age of innocence began blossoming into glimpses of youth, Beidou understood that Liyue Harbor was a place where people tried their hardest. Fishermen sold their loot, children carried silk flowers and violetgrass in baskets bigger than them… She wasn’t alone in her endurance.❞

— • Read on AO3 • —

[talesofealdancynedom]

Ouroboros in casual clothes, in the springtime fire weed; Pardon the Tumblr resampling...

40. The Fire weed (chapter 4 - A Candle 4/4) part 8. Stories of Dreams.

Once the shock wore off, many began to have concern for Ouroboros. He was sick in the healing cabin for ten days after the ceremony; Leaving the village without a doctor. He then spent ten more days, within the walls of his inherited lumber cabin. The gold liquored arched ceiling, dragon carved eaves, large fireplace, and fur throw beds in the loft. The hide and bone decorations, made from Hydra’s hunts, hung bittersweetly. Ouroboros, had little apatite, and when Ragnar visited, he found Ouroboros not one for conversation. His once passionate flame, and gone out.

Soon the fey asked for Ouroboros. People wondered if he’d actually recovered from his illness, or passed from a broken heart. But he was simply sitting there in an empty hall, devoured by emptiness. While he chopped wood, he wondered if there was anything he could have done differently. While bathing Basil and Levi, he ran through his day’s roster; Eventually becoming overwhelmed, and doing nothing. It was easier to cry, or stay home looking after children, then caring for himself; Even if it brought up now sour memories of his father’s care for him.

After three weeks, Quetzalcoatl visited. She’d been doing much the same. She stopped wearing kohl, as it kept smudging. She took off her silver, and didn’t put finger-loops in her sunny hair. Her grief had stripped her culture from her. It had been so isolating, she missed her brother now. As she sat by window, of her and Ragnar’s cabin, she saw there was a delivery of medical supplies; Arriving behind a Goldenscale daughter by the ridge as always. When she looked for her brother by the healing cabin, he wasn’t there to receive the order. She’d had enough; Quetzalcoatl got up, and went to Ouroboros’s house to summon him.

“Ouroboros, come out; The medicine has come.” Quetzalcoatl knocked. Silence. “Please? Not even to embrace your big sister? It’s been long since we talked; Can we be ready to support each other?” She persisted. Still silence. Quetzalcoatl drooped and gave a good tug at the door, to no avail; Yet, Quetzalcoatl swore her childhood home had no locks. She banged once more, and yelled for her brother. it turned into gasping and crying, as she slouched to her knees, with her forehead gently leant against the door.

“Quetzalcoatl, can I help you?” Saianne said, coming from the back. “You sound like you need a friend.” She said, crouching next to Quetzalcoatl.

“Is brother, ok?”

“He’s never been broken. He’d stay strong for the world, but I think this is the final straw. I think he needs to finally be sad. Blindingly bright passion can’t burn forever.” Saianne whispered. “He’s trying his best, but each time I say so, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me anymore. It hurts; He’s my world, as are our children. I can’t bare to see him so cold. It reminds me of loosing control.” She shivered. Quetzalcoatl looked at Saianne, and curled into a ball. Saianne rocked slightly, trying to hold it back.

“Are you sure I can’t help you in any way, Quetzalcoatl?” Saianne continued.

“Can you physically pull my brother to the medicine storage room?” Quetzalcoatl asked. Saianne looked up in surprise.

“That’s today?” She tilted her head. Quetzalcoatl nodded. With a smile Saianne agreed; She was of equal stature to her husband, who’d never fight her. Saianne picked up a branch, and transmuted it into a sharp knife. She began sawing between the doors.

“Rope?” Quetzalcoatl whispered. “He just tied the nobs together with hemp?!”

“He’s been tying them at the same rate I’ve been cutting; I’ve been trying to get in for fifteen minutes, to feed the twins. When I open it, tackle him, and then I’ll start dragging.”

Saianne helped Ouroboros put away the medicine and supplies. She’d stop intermittently to kiss his cheek. Ouroboros would return the favour. While her brother was distracted, Quetzalcoatl tried to read some of the bottles; Curious what Ouroboros was giving them. She examined them carefully but couldn’t read the labels.

“Is this your medication? Or the stuff they put in the needles we get?” Quetzalcoatl asked. Ouroboros nodded.

“Do you think we’d have more siblings right now, if we got these sooner? When they found out our blood had dirty?” She continued. To her surprise, Ouroboros turned to give her a golden glare.

“It’s not safe for children and infants, correct?” Ragnar said from the doorway. Ouroboros nodded, and took the vile from his sister. “Let me help; I can read the labels.” Ragnar said, sitting next to Ouroboros and the cool bin. Quetzalcoatl returned to sheet folding.

           “You know, the Westlands spend a lot of money and effort to make sure these sanitary instruments, are the only modern convivence to pass the winter barrier.” Ragnar said, handling each with upmost care. “It seems unfair to control your breeding and technological advancement; Such things lead to longer, better, lives. But each time I come here, and talked of things like indoor lighting, Hydra laughed. Like that was more magical than a nymph chugging milk from a mead horn. Hydra said he had lived a perfect and long life already, right here. The tribulations of his traditional life, were what made him treasure it without regret. Also, something about boar bacon...” Ragnar mused. Ouroboros gave a little chuckle at the last part.

           “Having seen outside this summit, do you think electricity is the real witchcraft Ouroboros? And I’m a fool, for giving up my years to be a wizard; Just to end up a commoner atop a mountain, pissing into a chamber pot?” Ragnar prompted. Ouroboros closed the fridge and shrugged.

           “Absolutely. All that money, and a decade of your life.” Saianne taunted, putting away the sheets. “But again, I spent so long looking out a window, and now regretting it; I’m a bit biased. Now, I get to live a longer and better life here, just like Hydra.” Saianne sighed. Ragnar grimaced.

“But, speaking of living, has anyone wandered through that field of purple flowers?” Saianne cooed. She pulled out a blue baby blanket; Worn, soft, and smelt of cedar and tallow soap.

“Purple flowers? But the herbs have already bloomed. Do you mean fireweed? You know, it makes the best honey. Did you see some? Due to the abundance of magic trees, we don’t get many fires; Or try not too.” Quetzalcoatl perked up. Ouroboros too. They’d never seen fireweed outside art before. The flower that only grows after a forest fire; Requiring the flames to open its seeds in new clearings. Ouroboros went pale, and jumped up and out the door. He ran around back, and past the geese, to the clearing where he’d gone dark. Like a child hearing his hero was in town. He gasped at the sight: It was blooming for yards. Bees and pixies examining the flowers. It was like stalks of amethyst, gently blowing like chimes over the blackened earth. Some people joined him, happy to see Ouroboros alive and that his light rekindled. The change was so sudden, Saianne ran over to clutch his arm in worry.

“Ouroboros! Don’t do that! Stop scaring me!” Saianne said. She heard their sons wake in their cabin, two doors down. “I don’t understand. We’re not done with the supplies and need to go home. They’re just flowers, Ouroboros.”

“They’re beautiful.” Ouroboros said, gently brushing his hand over them. “Do you think father would have loved to see them Saianne?”

“I think he wasn’t a flower person,” Quetzalcoatl smiled. “Unless there on a bride. Nope. I’m certain he’d be thinking entirely about the superb honeyed bread we’re about to have.”

“Then he’d say he would start the bath, as we’d get all sticky like when were kids.” Ouroboros added. The memory brought him both pain and joy. “I’d sit at the table before cooling loaves, while father simmered the honey so I could safely eat it. It was best when everything was still warm.”

“Oh, and while you ate, he’d put the rest in a jar by the stove, with yeast and water.” Ragnar chuckled. “Does recalling life’s little joys, like these blooms, make it hurt a little less or a little more?” he asked, seeing Ouroboros smile again.

“Neither. It makes me want new moments of wonder. It reminds me I have a Happily Ever After, and that spell will give me rose glasses if I hold on. Makes me remember my dad had one too, even if he worried for me and mother was gone. Means it was worth it. Being helpless in exchange for things we’d never change. And now I’m a bit sad again…” Ouroboros said picking some flowers. He looked up, and there seemed to be even more bloom.

“Um, does it look like their spreading to anyone?”

“Maybe I overdid the bountiful harvest balled at dawn…” Saianne murmured, stepping back, and pulling Ouroboros with her to go home.

“Well, too late now I guess.” Ouroboros said. “On the other hand, I can’t wait to tell this to our kids when their older. Incessantly. At every dinner conversation.”

TABLE OF CONTENTS --->

<--- PREVIOUS

[rootslosangeles]

Weed Delivery That Makes Everything That Much More Chill

Have you been looking for weed delivery in Sun Valley that actually is already in Sun Valley? Are you tired of weed delivery that either doesn’t come to you or seemingly takes forever to get there? There are plenty of dispensaries that deliver, but there aren’t that many that deliver to Sun Valley and the surrounding area. Here at Roots, we do exactly that. We offer the caliber of delivery that Sun Valley and the surrounding area deserve.

Always, our goal is to be much more than just your local store. We’re a service, a community, a haven for those who appreciate the finest produce Mother Nature has to offer. With our strategic delivery network in place, embracing the roots of wellness has never been easier. You, quite literally, don’t even have to get off of the couch.

Convenience, Privacy, and Discretion Primarily, the benefit of convenience cannot be overstated. Life in the modern world can be hectic (to say the very least) with so little time left to take care of one’s personal needs. But with our delivery service, you don’t have to worry about carving out time in your busy day to visit our dispensary.

Just place an order with us and wait for your quality cannabis products to arrive at your doorstep. It’s that simple. Our drivers know the area and can get to you pronto.

Beyond that, we understand the importance of privacy and discretion for every consumer. When you choose Roots, you choose a worry-free experience.

Your products are just that: yours. So, they’ll be delivered right to your door, away from the public eye, maintaining proper confidentiality at all times. Enjoy your products in peace.

Delivery That Puts Customer Service First Customer service forms the cornerstone of our operations. We understand that the world of cannabis can be confusing, especially if you’re new to it. Our budtenders will be happy to answer any questions you might have. If you don’t come in, you can find plenty of information on our site/menu, and more. Feel free to ask if there’s something you could use help with.

Efficiency is another signature hallmark of our service. At Roots LA, we’ve streamlined the ordering process to save you time without compromising on quality or convenience. Just a few clicks on our user-friendly website, and you’re done! After you’ve placed your order and made the payment, all you’ve got to do is sit back, relax, and wait for your cannabis delights to reach your doorstep.

Quality at the Right Price We take great pride in the variety of products we offer. Our extensive catalog ensures you have an array of choices at your fingertips. We continually bring in new, exclusive strains of cannabis that you won’t find in your local dispensaries. That said, we don’t believe you should have to pay your entire rent just to get quality cannabis delivered.

To that end, we offer high-quality cannabis at affordable prices. When you order from us, you’ll never have to compromise on quality or fret about being overcharged. When you compare our rates to those at other local dispensaries, you’ll find that we provide significant value for your money. The best part? We never compromise on quality. With us, you can be assured of getting more bang for your buck.

The Choice for Weed Delivery in Sun Valley From excellent customer service to speedy delivery, competitive pricing to an extensive catalog, we make cannabis shopping simple. That said, delivery is just one of the ways that you can experience our great products.

We’re always glad to serve you here at our dispensary as well. So much so, in fact, that there are certain deals that are only applicable if you come by here in person. One of those involves our new Mollyz products, which we happen to be quite proud of.

If you buy $99 of Mollyz products while you’re here in our dispensary, you can get an 8th for a penny. We mean it. And that’s just one of our deals – there are many others.

If you want to learn more about our products and services, or are ready to start ordering, visit our website today.

[purple-lotus-weed-deals]

Purple Lotus - Weed Deals

Weed Deals at Purple Lotus Dispensary - San Jose, CA

Welcome to Purple Lotus Dispensary, your go-to destination for the best cannabis deals in San Jose, California. With multiple locations and convenient delivery services, we make it easy for you to access top-quality products at unbeatable prices.

At Purple Lotus, we offer a variety of promotions to help you save on your favorite cannabis products. Whether you’re looking for top-shelf flower or potent vapes, we have something for everyone. For example, you can snag all Private Reserve 3.5g flower for just $49.99, or enjoy 15% off STIIIZY Original Pods. If you’re a fan of edibles, don’t miss our deals on Wyld THC Gummies at only $9.99 (tax included).

We also feature exclusive value bundles to ensure you get the most bang for your buck. Popular options include three 1g Purple Lotus vapes for just $99.99 or two 5-packs of Blue Chip Prerolls for $79.99 (tax included). Looking for concentrates? Our $30 deal for two 1g LMFAO Extracts is a must-try. Plus, our Buy 1 Get 1 for $1 Power Buds bundle is a customer favorite.

Joining our loyalty program enhances your savings even further. Earn points on every purchase, whether in-store or online, and after your third visit, receive a 5% cashback reward on all future purchases. Loyalty members also gain exclusive access to special deals, product previews, and limited-time discounts.

We proudly support our community by offering additional discounts for students, veterans, and seniors. Be sure to check our calendar for exciting pop-up events and daily specials that add even more value to your shopping experience.

Whether you visit us in-store or order online for delivery, Purple Lotus Dispensary is committed to providing exceptional service and value. Check out our latest deals and discover why we are San Jose’s favorite cannabis dispensary. Save more and enjoy more with Purple Lotus!

Visit Our Website

[potsmart]

THC Pills Delivered to Your Door… Who Could Ask for More?

THC pills, also known as capsules, offer cannabis in a convenient pill form. These capsules can include various cannabis varieties, including extracted oils, decarboxylated flowers, or individual cannabinoids like THC or CBD. Patients can turn to THC pills to address a wide range of medical conditions, mirroring the established applications of cannabis. These pills find common utility in managing pain, reducing inflammation, alleviating insomnia, combating anxiety, and promoting appetite stimulation. They are also great fun recreationally.

THC pills provide a direct and precisely measured means of ingesting cannabis, yielding subtle, enduring effects. This piece delves deeper into THC pills, shedding light on their merits and why you might want to incorporate them as a valuable component in your medical marijuana toolkit.

As much as stoners like to claim that cannabis has no negative effects, doctors will let you know that smoking anything creates carcinogens. For some users, that trade off is not worth it. Edibles will work for some of them as well, but for some edibles just won’t do  the trick.

Some consumers may be watching their sugar intake, making most edibles a no go for them. There’s very few low sugar edible options on the market. Others may be watching their weight. Still some simply do not have the willpower to let a container of edibles stand, and they routinely eat the entire dose purchased and end up violently high on accident. For these types of customers, THC pills are an excellent choice.

Expect that THC pills will typically require between 45 minutes to a couple of hours to kick in. Hence, it’s essential to exercise caution and refrain from taking additional doses within the first two hours of initial consumption. Having the THC pill on an empty stomach might expedite the onset of effects since food intake can potentially delay the onset by about 30 minutes.

Notably, the effects of THC pills are known to endure in the body for a comparable duration as other edible forms, spanning up to approximately five hours or even longer. This extended duration of effects surpasses that of smoking or vaping, offering a more sustained experience. It could be argued that you get more bang for your buck.

Much like edibles, another massive benefit is the lack of smell. For many people, wreaking of weed may not be appropriate in the workplace, and vaporizers may be a bit too obvious. For these types of cannabis lovers, pills are a fabulous answer.

Check out THC Capsules for Delivery Here

Hooti Extracts THC Capsules are crafted using Delta-9 THC Distillate, ensuring precise dosing and rigorous lab testing to ensure an efficient and user-friendly experience. Within each capsule, you’ll find a precisely measured 50mg dose of full flower THC distillate, enclosed in top-quality MCT oil.

Hot Box also makes a Great Option Here

Hot Box Tests in a Health Canada approved lab and make all natural CBD and THC capsules formulated with cocoa butter that come in a gelatin cap for easy ingestion. They are a little stronger at 100 mg a dose. These are great for cannabis consumers with a heavier tolerance, maybe not so much for the light weights.

Maybe you’re looking for something a lot lighter like this

These 2.5 mg LYFETHC Immediate-release capsules operate in much the same way as edibles do. They enter the body via the mouth and are subsequently absorbed in the stomach. Once absorbed, the compounds undergo metabolic processing in the liver. This is where THC transforms into a compound known as 11-hydroxy-THC, recognized for its longer-lasting and potentially more sedative effects compared to THC by itself. At 2.5 mg per pill, users can much more easily gauge their dosage.

It’s nice that today there are so many options for dosing in the THC pills market. There are also CBD pills and 50/50 THC CBD pills on the market, but we’ll leave those for another article. Either way, all these options make it easy for consumers to find the best product for their medical needs or purely recreational enjoyment. Any of the options above are made even more tempting by the fact that PotSmart gives you a coupon for an extra 15% off your order. That’s hard to beat.

For those looking to get baked without the smoke or the sugar, THC pills are the way to go. It’s clean, easy, effective and nobody has to know. When you order delivery pills from approved MOMs like PotSmart deals with, you know you’re getting something lab tested and safe to ingest and get super blazed. After all, if the point is a safer cannabis experience, wouldn’t you want to get something that is lab tested?

Check out any of the options above and let us know on insta what you think.

By Bailey Quarters, Cannabis Connoisseur and Guest Contributor for Potsmart

[mjjune]

Multiples of 5 for the OTP asks

Content in my answers contains some sexual themes!

5. Describe their cozy night in.

Like 5+ rounds of sex, Danny's centuries-old wine, probably a lot of delivery food on Helio's end.

10. Describe their first date.

You can read it right here! LOL

15. Do they always say 'I love you' before leaving?

A better question would be: do they say it at all? 💀 Neither of them say this, probably ever? At least not verbally. What they DO do is a lot of little nonverbal things: touching, specific eye contact, etc.

20. Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

FUCK THIS IS SO HARD UGH So I'll answer it regarding how they feel for the most of Book 1 (when they're not Together™ yet). From Helio's perspective: I Go Crazy by Orla Gartland From Danny's perspective: Now I'm In It by HAIM In general: Rage & Romance by Bressie

25. Do they have any hobbies they share?

Besides banging? lmao They both dance and drink, as well Languages, actually. Danny speaks like a hundred of them, and Helio's first generation Mexican-American and grew up with Spanish. It's not in the books anywhere but I imagine Helio learning other languages for fun and loving that his native Spanish skill is probably the only time he has ever had a leg up over Danny at something LOL

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

Helio's outfit - basically combining Danny's style with Helio's tendency toward leather (also it would look hot) Danny's outfit - Helio would take this as a challenge to make Danny wear the most stereotypical victorian pirate-vampire outfit ever (and Danny is living for it)

35. Who's more artistic?

Danny, definitely

40. Who has an insatiable appetite? And what does the other do to help?

Well, insatiable appetite is a quality all werewolves share, so Helio. Also Danny is a vampire who doesn't eat human food. He keeps his fridge stocked with human food for Helio, and also probably pays for a lot of deliveries lol

45. Can they fall asleep without the other?

Oh yeah, definitely. They are poly and Danny has like 5 separate apartments and also goes MIA regularly. Even if they lived together (which they don't) they wouldn't share the same bed every night. Also Helio isn't nocturnal, and Danny is (mostly), so yeah...

50. Who's more likely to do something out of spite?

Mm... neither really? Danny is too old to spite people he cares about (though he loves to spite enemies) and Helio is way too much of a cinnamon roll to spite... well, anyone, really.

55. Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

YES. There was actually a deleted scene where they smoked weed and star gazed together on the roof of a NYC skyscraper.

60. Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Helio lmao, as Danny does not actually sleep rip

ASK ME AN OTP ASK ABOUT DANNY/HELIO HERE

[biggaybunny]

Actually I’m inspired now to summarize all the incredible weirdos that make up Hololive EN:

Genertion 1: “Holomyth”

Calliope Mori: A big booby shinigami/reaper designed for sex appeal, probably to fit with her deeper, “sexier” voice. Is actually a huge dork who lives off of delivery and convenience store snacks and loves shrek and adam sandler movies. Great singer, though her lyrics are... not as good. Had a brief addiction to “Bang” energy drinks. So stubborn she has regularly been begged by her chat to stop playing and take a break as they enter the sixth, eighth, eleventh hour of the same boss / level / challenge. Compulsively overshares. Crass and loud and unapologetic about it.

Takanashi Kiara: Was designed as an “adventurer” phoenix woman; decided she would rather be the CEO of an imaginary fast food chain where employees may or may not double as the food. Ditched her sword and shield but regularly uses fanmade models of spiked bats, pink shotguns, chain whips, and more. Speaks at least three languages fluently (working on a fourth) and regularly acts as a live translator on her “talk show”. Incredibly gay, does not hide it. Joked about being “australian” (she’s austrian) until actual australians were hired, causing confusion.

Ninomae Ina’nis (Ina): “Priestess of the Ancient Ones” who just tends to vibe and play minecraft. Has tentacles but literally the only person in Hololive so un-horny that she’s never weird about it. Fantastic artist. Has often slept on the floor of her room simply to avoid the effort of getting to / cleaning up her bed. Has been caught on stream making a cacophony from all the empty energy drink cans on her desk. Even her “loud” voice is quieter than every other girls’ normal speaking voice. Beat half-life 2. Designed most of the official mascots for the girls.

Gawr Gura: An enigma embodied in a four-foot shark girl. Once lost a loaf of bread in her room. A loaf. Binges youtube videos on topics like carpet deep-cleaning, hoof trimming, and embalming. Cannot finish anything she starts. Cannot do math. Bullies Calliope Mori. Uniquely has a red palette-swapped version of her model she breaks out to act edgy with. Loves the smell of manure. Is just, incredibly funny. Had cat ears added to her model, despite being a shark. Is the most subscribed to vtuber in Hololive by a factor of *2*, and probably the most subscribed to vtuber on all of youtube.

Amelia Watson: In a generation of “mythological” vtubers, her gimmick was “british detective”. Tried to do her debut in a fake british accent. Invented her entire lore off the cuff and became a time traveler instead. The most tech-savvy of hololive; has fixed issues that company support was unable to help with. Regularly does all the setup for collaborative projects. Fucking loves moss. Owns a saltwater tank. Was accused of growing weed by her neighbor (it was the saltwater tank). Has persistent hiccups. Great at shooters, also great at being salty about shooters. Has a mostly antagonistic relationship with herself from other timelines, mostly “smol ame”.

This is getting long, I’ll add the second generation in a separate post.

Edit: 2nd part here

[bakusdumptruck]

Bakusquad Crack Post Pt.2

Hello you beautiful bitches 😌 hope you had a good day today! I was stuck on what I was going to write and decided to make a side story on what happened with the LoV in the first part! So now i’ll give you high bakusquad ft. The LoV🤩

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Pairing: Aged up Bakusquad x gn!Y/n x LoV 

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries, slight manga spoilers

Summary: Bakusquad gets kidnapped by the Lov, but it turns out better than expected.  

✨QUICK RECAP ✨

You and the Bakusquad were v e r y faded chilling on a hill watching the stars 

A nomu pops out of no where and you all start attacking, but completely miss

The nomu starts chasing you and ends up knocking everyone out 

OKAY NOW LETS GET IT 😈

So... you got kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains

B💥: *waking up* “Fucking shit what hap- oh shit hey crusty 😏 never thought i’d be here again.”

ST(Shiggy)🧴: “Never thought you’d be this easy to catch you little bitch”

B💥: “WHO YOU CALLIN A LITTLE BITCH YOU FLAKEY FU-”

Y/n🥵: *evil/scary ass voice* “Bakugou if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i’ll let his flakey ass disintegrate you. You’re beING TOO FUCKING LOUD 😃🔪”

B💥: “uh... where’d you get that knife from :D”

K💪🏼: “Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment but shouldn’t we be concerned that we got kidnapped.”

M💅🏽: “I agree... We literally got kidnapped by the people who want to kill us.”

S🕷: “Oh shit, that’s who they are? No wonder they looked so familiar.”

All: 👁👄👁

ST🧴: “Ya’ll are dumber than I expected... anyway we want you guys to join us. You all have powerful quirks, especially you Baku-”

B💥: “YAWWNNNN. No thank you. I already said no.”

ST🧴: “Did you just s a y the word yawn 🙃 *scratching neck* You’re pissing me off. I’ll just kill you then.”

S🕷: “Hold on mr.saltine, before you kill bakubro can we smoke our last joint? This weed was expensive and I AM NOT letting it go to waste. Plus I have even more and it needs to be gone before I die.” 

M💅🏽: “Sero please tell me you didn’t bring your stoner pack.”

S🕷: *pulls out his so called “Seros Super Stoner Pack”*

Shiggy’s starting to regret his life choices.

All of a sudden Dabi pops out of no where

DB🔥: “Is that weed? I smell weed. Where is it.”

 Sero had the most amazing idea, but not for them to escape no, he has had the most amazing idea to make sure he finishes his weed.

S🕷: “...Wanna smoke with us 👀 I already rolled a joint and I can roll at least 4 more. Don’t wanna let it all go to waste 😃”

DB🔥: “Let them out of the cuffs. I need to smoke.”

At this point Shigaraki is over everything and decides to smoke to distract himself from the stupidity.

So, ya know, Sero does his thing and hands yall the other papers to roll up

*30 minutes and 5 joints later...*

DB🔥: “NO BUT LIKE ENDEAVOR IS A FUCKING B I T C H. HE CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS.”

 This smoke session somehow turned into a therapy session. 

DB🔥: “I KNOW HE’S MY DAD BUT HOLY SHIT. FUCKER PUSHED ME INTO FAKING MY OWN FUCKING DEATH AND NOW HERE I AM. IM BURNT, MUSTY, AND STUCK WITH THIS CRUSTY ASS BITCH.”

Y/n🥵: *patting his back* “There there, let it out... uhuh just like that”

DB🔥: “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CRY. MY TEAR DUCTS ARE BURNT AND I FEEL DUMB AS FUCK CRYING WITH NO TEARS. I LOOK FUCKING CONSTIPATED.”

ST🧴: “Bitch please, you look constipated all the time.”

DB🔥: “Square the fuck up. 😃 Right now.”

D⚡️: “So... we just gon ignore the fact that he’s Endeavors “dead” son?”

Eventually Dabi lets everything off of his chest and goes off pouting in your arms

To lighten up the mood Sero connects his phone to his speaker and picks whatever song came up first 

It was WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Denki was the first one to get up and starts to rap the first verse. He knew it word for word.

Sero joined in after but also started dancing

Mans was MOVING them hips. Them shits were swaying like it was nobody’s business 💅🏽

WAIT SO HEAR ME OUT,  I feel like Bakugou would be a completely different person when he’s high

Yeah he’s still angry and shit but he’d be sooooo fucking funny

 This bitch would get up all of a sudden and be like 

B💥: “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG FUCKER. THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING MOVE”

Then he starts aggressively twerking anyway he can 😭

He’s twerking on the wall, on the floor, ON PEOPLE  

You all eventually form a circle around him and start hyping him up

LMAOO ITS LIKE THAT DANCE CIRCLE AT SCHOOL DANCES AND EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHONE OUT

Y/n🥵: “BEST FRIEND SHOW EM YOUR MOVES”

K:💪🏼: “GO, OUUU YUH GET IT I GUESS 💅🏽... OKAY IM NEXT BEST FRIEND. GET THE CAMERA 🤩”

KIRI FUCKING PUSHES HIM OUT 

K💪🏼: “dougie 🤪 hype me up 😤🥵”

He does it REALLY bad, but that’s not gonna stop the hype 

ST🧴: “AHAHAHA WHY HE MOVIN LIKE THAT. MANS STIFF AS FUCK”

M💅🏽: “Like you can do any better than that 😗”

ST🧴: “Baby please, watch this”

Shiggy starts voguing... and he’s really fucking good. 

All: “💀”

DB🔥: “HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING GOLD . YO GUYS GET THE FUCK OUT YOUR ROOMS. Hehe he’s gonna regret doing this. ”

The rest of the LoV members come out and are shocked 

They don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be disgusted 

TG🔪: “Dabi... is he okay, wait a minute... wHEN DID THEY GET HERE”

SP🐊: “...I’m going back to my room.”

TW👺: “OUU YUH SHIGGY. GET IT BITCH- this is so fucking disgusting.”

Mr.Compress and Kurogiri don’t even bother to see whats happening

Once the most iconic part of the song pops up YOU AND MINA GO OFF.

M💅🏽: “OUT OF THE WAY BITCHES. ITS THE BADDIES TURN.”

Holy fuck can y/n and Mina marry me already. p l e a s e.

Yall hitting every beat, every move, THE ATTITUDE. Yes. A+. 1000/10

Everyone was screaming their asses off and jumping around

After WAP, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low played

DB🔥: “OHHH SHIT ITS MY TIME WHORES”

Dabi pulls out a guitar and amp out of thin air and plays his fucking heart out.

Bakugou finds drums and plays like theres no tomorrow

Sero finds a bass and joins in 

Y/n🥵: “What the fuck 😃 why is this so good 😃”

The rest of you starts head banging and singing along

K💪🏼: “TAKE A BREATH DONT IT SOUND SO EASY, NEVER HAD A DOUBT NOW IM GOING CRAZY WATCHING FROM THE FLOOR”

M💅🏽: “waYMENT- I THOUGHT HE COULDN’T SING. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM 😳”

Denki adds harmony to the next part

K💪🏼D⚡️: “TAKE A BREATH AND LET THE REST COME EASY, NEVER SETTLE DOWN CAUSE THE CASH FLOW LEAVES ME. ALWAYS, WANTING MORE”

Y/n🥵: “DENKI YOU TOO??? I’m going to pass away. This is too muCH. I’M GOING TO SIMP PLEASE.”

Oop, the best part’s coming up... who’s singing next?👀

DB🔥: “IT WAS NEVER A PHASE MOM. ITS A LIFE STYLE- CAUSE I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT ME IN THERES A STORY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOTTLE AND IM THE PEN.”

That shit was chefs fucking kiss. Dabi has the perfect voice for this song.

At this point you, Mina, and Shiggy were on the floor with tears streaming down your faces.

When yall thought it couldn’t get any better, Bakugou and Sero start harmonizing for the last part 💅🏽

B💥S🕷: MAKE IT COUNt WHEN IM THE ONE WHOS SELLING YOU OUT CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE STEALING HEARTS CALLING YOUR NAME FROM THE CROWD”

Dead. You flat lined. Your limit has been passed and now you’re a hard core simp. 

Mina was so glad she started recording because there definitely won’t be another opportunity.  

Y/n🥵: “Guys... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HOW CAN YOU PULL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY PERFECTLY. KIRI WHERE THE HELL DID THE VOICE COME FROM.”

The boys were sweating and out of breath. They just did a whole performance in the hide out with zero practice.

They stared at each other at the end for a little bit and excitedly hyped themselves up. 

Dabi spoke about starting a band forgetting about his occupation and why the bakusquad was there in the first place

Honestly this moment was precious. The villains and aspiring hero’s were getting along because of the weed in their system. This just proves how weed can solve all your problems 💅🏽

*knock knock* “Doordash delivery”

ST🧴: “Oh, when did you guys order food?”

S🕷: “We didn’t order food...”

ST🧴: “... FUCKING SHIT NOT AGA-”

The pro hero’s busted in 🤩

DB🔥: “KUROGIRIIII. GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.”

And just like the the LoV escaped

M💅🏽: “Ya kno what, I honestly forgot where we were.”

B💥: “Same.”

K💪🏼: “We were having too much fun...”

D⚡️: “Ughhh why’d they come so early 😫 we were boutta start a band 🥺”

S🕷: “Wait... why were we here again??”

Y/n🥵: “Sero...baby, maybe you should lay off the weed for a bit 💀”

Aizawa walked in and shot his scarf out to all of you. He made sure to make them uncomfortably tight and pulled you guys right to him.

A🐱: 👺👹*gremlin noises*👺👹

Lol you guys are fucked. 

HELLOOOOO I hope you guys enjoyed this story of what went on when the squad got kidnapped!! Honestly my account is gonna have ALOT of bakusquad scenarios since I literally love all of them so much. Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about hanging out with them 😭 Credits to jazzmonster for the gif 😌 once I saw it I knew I had to use it. Anywayy thank you all so much for the support :’-) I didn’t think people would actually like the stuff I write since its all over the place 😫 Hope you have a good rest of your day/night 🖤

[bedlamsbard]

@stormwind13 asked me what my favorite part of Yellowjackets was, and since this is going to get long, new post:

On a craft level, two specific things: how well the flashbacks are integrated, especially when there are flashbacks from multiple timelines (there’s an incredible scene in, I think episode 3 where they’ve got two flashbacks and the present-day all seamlessly integrated).  As anyone who reads my fic knows, I love flashbacks, but they can be really hard to do well, and I think Yellowjackets is pretty amazing at them.

The other craft thing is -- everyone in this show thinks they’re in a different genre.  I know some people don’t like this and think it makes the show feel muddled, but I honestly really love it, especially when those multiple genres intersect and bang up against each other.  I think the show works really well at having the characters’, mmm, interpretations and expectations of that genre, of the roles they’re playing work for/against them and for/against the audience.  Jackie thinks she’s in one genre and acts that way, Lottie thinks she’s in a completely different one, Taissa is in another one entirely.  And the same thing is true in the present-day timeline, where sometimes it’s very Desperate Housewives or Weeds but at the same time someone else is in a murder mystery, someone else is in a politics show, you’ve got a character who’s a bit character in The Sopranos, that sort of thing.  And it all ends up weaving together in very fun ways as you start seeing the characters realize that they’re not in the story they think they are -- or rather, they are, but they’re in a different story too.  Nothing is only one way.

On a character note, these all feel like real women, with real trauma; the high schoolers feel like high schoolers in ways that are very familiar to me.  There’s this awareness of the very real grief, the very real trauma, that the main characters have and share that no one else can understand.  There’s an absolutely devastating present-day scene where Taissa asks someone else, a rich white woman, “why do you you get to have that?” and the delivery KILLS me.  This show is also really good at balancing the viciousness and the tenderness between women, both at the high school level and at the adult, and it’s just...a LOT.

like, do I think the mystery is interesting? the puzzle games? the survival aspect? yeah, I like all of that. but for me, it’s really secondary to the characters, to their trauma; it feels like all of that is a vehicle for them, not the other way around, in a way that really works for me.

[pixieungerstories]

Quarantine - 2

There was no sign the house had any other occupants for days.  I hadn’t been able to drag the mattress out of the room where he had put it.  It was heavy and I couldn’t compress it enough to get it through the door.

I went back to working from home.  The conference calls helped me feel sane.  After a while it was easy to pretend the whole thing was some fever dream.  I was pretending, though.  I still hadn’t tried to open the closet.  Grocery delivery was set on a rotation so that once a week they arrived at the gate.  My neighbours had theirs brought right up to the house.  Mine were always left at the gate of the picket fence that surrounded the front yard.

I used the hedge trimmers to shape the lilac bushes that the neighbours on each side had planted to obscure their view of my house.  I weeded and mowed the lawn wishing for grass seed before just giving up and calling it a meadow.  Some of the flowers were even pretty.  I chuckled with my friends about how much drywall I was going to need when this was over.  We laughed about how it was lucky I was alone instead of having a roommate watching me through the holes in the walls.

Well, they laughed.  I sort of more chuckled nervously.

I kept an eye on my laptop battery and there weren’t any unexplained power outages.  Everything seemed normal.

Until I was cleaning out the basement and found the wine room.  I don’t know wine, but there was a lot of it and the newest bottle that I could find was pre world war two.

I wasn’t expecting it to still be good.  It was.  It felt ridiculous drinking a hundred year old bottle of red wine with a frozen dinner. I did it anyway.

“Are you still here?” I demanded as I was getting ready for bed.

There was no answer.

I found the box that had my vibrator in it and fell asleep in a sweaty puddle.

I woke up a little hung over and found my vibe squeaky clean on the bathroom sink when I went to brush my teeth.  My stomach dropped.

“Were you watching me?” I hissed.  I don’t know what sort of reply I was expecting, but I didn’t get one.

Once again, I tried to move the mattress to another room.  Once again, I failed.  I spent the night wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the floor in the other bedroom, with my laptop plugged in and netflix running to keep me company.

I screamed and stood up when he said from the doorway, “I get lonely too.”

“Jesus Christ!”

He chuckled, “Not even close.”  There was a moment of silence as I strained my eyes to see something, anything, in the dark.  “I can’t leave either,” he whispered.  I stood there shaking in the light from my laptop screen. “Sleep in the bed.  I will not bother you.”

I didn’t move.  He had just sounded sad when he said it.  

“Why can’t I ever see you?”  I asked.

“I live in the shadows, you can only see me in darkness.”

I blinked at that.  “But you are always here.”

“Yes.”

“And I can’t see in the dark,” I pointed out.

“I know.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I changed the subject.  “What do you want from me?”

“When you first arrived, you slept in the garden.  If you had started by sleeping in the house, I would have run you off.  But you were fixing things, so I let you stay.  I got used to you being around.  Then you got sick and it would have been so easy to just let you die.  I would have gone back to being on my own.  I no longer want to be on my own but I hadn’t considered the weight of you being unable to leave.  I do not like the idea of you being scared of me and trapped here.”

“But I am,” I mumbled.

“Yes.  So take care of yourself.  Sleep in the bed.  Care for the house.  I will stay out of your way.”

I licked my lips.  I didn’t want to ask but I had to know.  “What were you doing with my vibrator?”

There was no answer.  I waited for what felt like an eternity before I continued.  “Look, it isn’t a good idea to share sex toys, so depending on where it’s been, I might need to throw it out.  I can’t exactly get a new one just now.  Please just tell me.”

It was the barest whisper, “I wanted to taste you.”

I froze feeling like a deer in the headlights, completely unsure how to respond to that.

“I have not touched you since you asked me not to,” he argued.  

Except for when I almost fell, I thought.  You caught me then.  And my laptop.  I wouldn’t have been able to get a new one of those either.  I wondered if soap and water would do it or if I was going to end up with some shadow monster disease.  How do you even ask that?

“Ok,” I mumbled.  I stood there in the dark and silence.  The house was silent.  I realized I hadn’t heard rattles or banging or hissing since I learned he was here.  “Nyctophobia,” I blurted out.

“I don’t understand,” he replied.

I shifted awkwardly.  “Can I call you Nick?”

The silence continued.  Then, “Why?”

“Nameless things are more scary.  It isn’t as bad having a roommate named Nick.”

He never did answer.  Eventually, I sat back down on the floor and wrapped the blanket more tightly around myself.  I wasn’t brave enough to walk through a pitch dark house, past a staircase, to get to the room where there was a monster in the closet.  

----

There was coffee waiting for me when I got up, and the smell of cinnamon buns baking in the oven.   The oven timer said there was 10 minutes left.  I peeked inside to find the tiniest pan of monkey bread baking.  I recognized the recipe and pulled out the cookbook it came from.  Sure enough, in Nick’s careful handwriting was notations about scaling the recipe down to one sixth of how it had been published.

He had used pencil.

“Is this a peace offering?” I asked.

I didn’t get a response, but he did the dishes while I had my bath that morning.

When my groceries were delivered, popcorn had been added to my order.

I didn’t see him.  Well, I mean, I never see him, but the only signs of him were things being done and left obviously done while I was bathing or getting dressed.  Aside from how nice it was to not do the dishes I appreciated the signs that he was not watching me.

It came as a surprise when I went to put the popcorn in the microwave and the power went out.  

“Nick?  What are you doing?”

“This isn’t me,” he hissed.

I was lifted and carried squirming through the dark before being pushed into a space and having the door locked behind me.  I panicked as I thought I might be in his closet before I realized I was in the wine cellar.  Flashes of Edgar Allen Poe stories ran through my mind.

I have no idea how long I was in there, in the dark with my heart pounding as I tried to get the door to open.  Eventually, it did.

“All better now,” he assured me, breathing down the back of my neck.

There were a lot of cop cars outside on the street.

“What happened?” I asked.  There wasn’t any answer.

A uniformed officer rang my bell, then politely stepped back from my door the requisite six feet.

“Did you hear or see anything unusual last night, Ma’am?” he asked after identifying himself.

Yeah, all the time, I thought.  There was still no way to say that and sound sane.  I went with a modified version of the truth.  “The power went out around 10pm and I ended up stuck in the basement since I couldn’t see the stairs.”

He frowned at me.  “Have you noticed anything missing?  Any signs of a break in?”

“No?  Should I have?”

He appeared to consider this, then stepped further back to look at the state of my house.  “There were break-ins all down this street last night.  This place might not have been a target.”

“Is everyone OK?” I asked.

“It’s an ongoing investigation,” replied walking towards me again.  “I can not disclose anything further, ma’am.”

I swallowed, “That sounds like a no.”

“Do you mind if I come in and have a look around?”

I considered this, “Do you generally advise that women living alone let strange men into their houses?  If you are coming to search, I want my lawyer here as a witness.”

He was already peering in around me.  The house isn’t that big and the walls were all gone.  He could see the whole main floor whether he came in or not.

“Doing some renovations I see.”

No shit Sherlock.  “My building permit is posted in my window.  I haven’t been able to get trades people out in months but-”

“I'm sure everything is in order with that.  Good day.”   Then he left.  Standing on the porch I could hear him telling the other officers what a shit hole my house was.  He thought it should be condemned.

I mean, he was right, still you never like to hear that.  And it didn’t need to be condemned.  I had the structural engineer’s report to prove it.

I went to work while keeping an eye on the news sites.

It wasn’t break ins.  It was looters.  The house next to me and the four next to it, all the way to the corner, had been hit.  The owners had been found tied up at best and dead at worst with a variety of options in between.

It has escalated all the way down the street.

Then stopped before my house.

“Nick?  What did you do?”

He wasn’t talking to me yet.

----

I sat on my bed and waited for the sun to go down.  My laptop was in the kitchen.  My phone was next to me but set to do not disturb.   I waited, straining my ears for any noise.

“Are you there?”

Nothing was said but I was sure I could feel him watching me.

“Please tell me what happened.”

“No one comes into my house,” he snarled.

I swallowed and fought down my fear.  “I did.”

“You are different.  You are helping.”

I considered that.  He had walls before I got here, now he didn’t.

“Am I safe from you?”

“Yes.”  It would have been more comforting if he hadn’t growled it.

That was the point where I started to cry.  I had made it through everything life had thrown at me without turning into a weepy woman, but that did it.  I’m going to blame it on a night of panicking in the wine cellar combined with news reports detailing what had happened to my neighbours.

“Please don’t,” he whispered.

I sniffled.  “Fuck.  Why don’t I have kleenex?”

A roll of toilet paper was pressed into my hands.  I ripped off a length and blew my nose in a way that women in the movies never do, then I jumped as he stroked my cheek with a cool finger, catching my tears.  His hand was gone an instant later.

“What if they come back tonight?”

“They won’t,” he said firmly.  I don’t think he was talking about the ongoing police presence on the street. 

“What did you do?” I sniffled.

“I defended my home.  That includes you now.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.  I wasn’t sure that I couldn’t catch glimpses of him as the lights on the street kept flashing.  Red, blue, huge black shadow.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” I whispered.

The bed dipped but when I reached my arm out in that direction all I could find was a long fingered hand to hold mine.  “You won’t be.”

I felt him tug at the blankets underneath me and I slid over so he could turn them back.  Even in the dark I could find my sleep shirt under my pillow.  I stood up next to the bed, stripped and pulled it over my head.  Under the covers looking at the ceiling.  Red, blue, shadow, red, blue shadow.

“Are you .. human shaped?”

“I can be.”

I snorted, “What kind of answer is that?” 

“An honest one.”

I rolled on to my side so that my back was to him, or at least to where I thought he was.

“I can go.”

“Can you stay?”

The weight on the bed changed.  “Don’t try to look at me, you will only give yourself nightmares.”

“You said you’ve read Blue Beard?”

“Yes.”

“Have you read Cupid and Psyche?”

He just snickered.

“I’ll take that as a yes.  Does any of that apply here?”

“Are you going to try to burn me with an oil lamp?” he teased.

“Are you going to get me pregnant then cast me out into the wilds?”  I countered.

He hissed at that, “Never.”

“Never get me pregnant or -”

“I’m not human.  We can’t procreate.  I can’t make you sick.  You can’t make me sick.  We can drive each other insane and you will be able to escape someday.  I can not leave.”

“Why not?”

“You need to rest.  Don’t ask questions with scary answers.”

“How am I supposed to know they are scary?”

“Because you are asking a monster.  Now, go to sleep.”

That was the most ridiculous thing but I wasn’t up to arguing about it.  Not while there was still an active crime scene next door.

I fell asleep to the feeling of him stroking my back.

----

The only furniture in the bed room was the bed and a few boxes of random stuff I had moved in.  I woke to find one of them had been used as a table and was holding breakfast for me.  Or at least a travel mug of coffee and a plate of toast.  I sat in bed, drank my coffee, ate my toast and read the thirty seven emails from everyone I knew asking what the fuck happened next door.

I ended up posting a blanket statement on facebook that I was fine.  I was still in my house.  I had no idea what had happened other than what I had seen on the news.  Then I posted a picture of the three squad cars I could still see out my bedroom window.  

My boss emailed me to ask when he could expect the report I had been assigned, so that took up the rest of my day.  It was getting dark when I realized I hadn’t eaten all day.  Another freezer meal, some salad and I was raiding the wine cellar again, god damn it!

As I was pouring wine into a coffee mug, he asked me, “Are you drinking alone?”

I got up, took another mug out of the cupboard, poured a second drink and turned off the kitchen light.  “Nope.  I’m not alone.  You’re here.”

He didn’t answer, as I ate my dinner by the light of the street lights outside.  The porch light was outside the kitchen window, so I turned it on to wash the dishes then turned it off to go upstairs.  It would have been better if I hadn’t stubbed my toe on the bottom step.  I swore.  Nick picked me up and carried me up the stairs.

“I didn’t have that much to drink!” I protested.

“No, but you can’t see in the dark.”  He tucked me safely into bed.

“Did you change the sheets?”  I asked.  He didn’t answer.  “You did, didn’t you?”

My laptop opened and his body blocked the screen for a few moments.  Then Brooklyn 99 came on and it was set next to me.

“Why are you doing this?”

“We need a distraction.  Call Penny.”

“We need a distraction?  We?”

“Yes.”

I hesitated.  “Do you need me to move out and camp in the backyard for a few days?”

His reply was a nonverbal roar that rattled the windows and set off a car alarm outside.  

There was a commotion then the cops were knocking on my door.  I sighed and turned on the lights.  I decided to be proactive this time.  I flung open the door and demanded “What the hell are you doing out here?”

The cops on my porch blinked.  

“I’m trying to sleep!  Can you keep the noise down?  Please?  I know whatever you are doing is important but can you just do it a little quieter?”

“That wasn’t us!” the youngest protested.

“Then can you find out who it was and make them stop?”

To my delight, they left.

I closed the door, smiled to myself and bounced off a wall of darkness that caught me before I rebounded against the door.

“I do not want you sleeping outside!” he growled in my ear.

There were one set of arms around my shoulders and another holding my hips and back.  I tried to think of a ‘what big arms you have Mr Wolf’ quip but it died on my lips and the touch was gone in an instant.

“Nick?  Can you help me not trip on things on my way to the stairs?”

Hands on my hips, pushing me gently forward and steering me around boxes. Another hand guiding mine to the banister.  Then nothing.  I carefully inched my way upstairs.  I did that awkward thing at the top where you think there is still one more step but there isn’t so your leg falls through nothing and you stumble.  To my right was the bedroom, still lit by the flickering screen of my computer.

I climbed into bed and closed it.

Then I opened it, stared at the browser for a moment, then closed it again.

“What’s wrong?”

I considered this.  I really had no secrets from him anymore.  “I’m anxious and keyed up.  I need … some ‘alone time’ but it’s weird if you are watching.”

“Would it be better if I was helping?” he teased.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.  “I don’t know what you are working with.  But I feel lonely.”

Gentle fingers took my hand and raised it.  The lips that kissed and the tongue that laved were not human.  I turned my hand to stroke his face but he leaned away.

That stung.  I let my hand fall to the bed.  “It isn’t fair that you get to touch me but I can’t touch you.”

He didn’t say anything to that.  A car drove past and the headlights lit the room for an instant.  Long enough for me to see four glittering eyes watching me, two forward facing and two further to the sides.  Not human, I reminded myself.  In the darkness, a hand cupped my face, thick lips caught mine and as I kissed him a tentacle like tongue licked at my lips before darting briefly down my throat.

“I can do better than that toy,” he promised, “but you can not see me.”

I nodded.  Four hands stroking me over my clothes.  A mouth kissing and licking at my neck. I was expecting him to peel me out of my clothes, instead his touch was so feathery gentle.  Hands cupped my face as he nuzzled my hair.  I strained my eyes trying to see him, but I could catch only the faintest outline.  Any time I reached out for him he pulled away.  Finally, he got frustrated with that and pinned my hands over my head.

I panicked and pulled my hands away and just like that he was gone.

“Nick?”

I don’t know why I was expecting an answer.  I groaned and pressed both palms to my face covering my eyes.  I jumped when he caressed my calf, but I didn’t move my hands.

“What are you doing, little girl?”

“Damned if I know,” I admitted.  “It’s been … I don’t even know anymore… how long have I been stuck in this house?  Weeks?  Months?  None of this seems real anymore.  Sometimes I don’t know if I’m real anymore either.  I just need …  something.”

“Someone,” he whispered.

“Yeah.  Someone to make me feel like I’m real.  Just to make me feel.”

“Humans need other humans to be human,” he muttered. “You should have just called your friend.”

My eyes prickled again and tears splashed against my hands.  “How long have you been here?”

“There was an accident shortly after the house was built.  I came because of that.”

That raised a lot of questions, but my immediate one was, “How long have you been here alone?”

“On and off since then.  Most people don’t last much more than a month or two.  Normally, construction crews are the advance party before they move in.  It’s easy enough to get rid of the new owners.  You were just too stupid to leave.”

I snorted, “Were you really trying to make me go?  Because living here was creepy but not anywhere close to the scariest place I’ve ever lived.”

“My heart wasn’t in it.  I need you to finish fixing the place first.  Sooner or later someone would have built one of those ridiculous houses on the lot.”  He started to massage my calf as he spoke.

“The house is more than a hundred years old.  That’s a long time to be alone,” I pointed out.

“Enough time to get good at it,” he countered.

I moved my hands then and sat up to look at him.  I thought I could see a pool of shifting darkness.  “What are you?  Are you a ghost?  Did someone die here and -”

“Many people have died here. I am not one of them.”

I thought about that for a moment.  “Am I?”

“What?”

“Am I some dead woman who is all alone here making excuses for why I can’t leave?”

He laughed at me then, not a jolly laugh, an odd howling laugh.  “How did you come up with that ridiculous idea?”

It stung a little, “It’s a popular plot point in a number of movies.  And I can’t help but notice you didn’t answer the question.”

He stopped laughing when he realized I was serious and said flatly, “You aren’t dead.”