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[hauntedhowlett-writes]

title: in a feud with her neighbor

bonus scenes now available

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x female reader

rating: explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 5621

summary:

Five times you think Joel Miller is the worst neighbor ever, and the one time he isn’t.

author’s note: this is so self-indulgent. i hope you guys enjoy it! if you like this work, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment because they make my day 💕

special thanks to the angels who helped with ideas: @dreamingofdaddydin @jksprincess10 @mydailyhyperfixations @funnygirlthatgab

additional warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), explicit language, no use of y/n, story contains visual graphics, everyone pretend the 12 ft skeleton was available in 2003 and you could stream TV shows, no sarah, no outbreak, neighbor feuds, enemies to lovers, oral (explicit f receiving, non-explicit m receiving), semi-public sex, making out in a pool, reader is a menace and arguably the bad neighbor here, unprotected p in v, use of sex toys, praise kink, pet names, dirty talk. let me know if any are missing!

Joel Miller is the worst neighbor ever. 

Your issues with him started on your first Halloween in the neighborhood. You had moved into your new home a few months prior, thrilled that you finally managed to escape the horrors of apartment living. You were now the proud owner of a little single story two bedroom craftsman style home, complete with fenced in backyard and a pool. 

You loved your little house and the neighborhood was ideal, quiet but tight knit. The neighbor to your left, an elderly woman named Betty, had invited you over for tea and cookies and given you the lowdown on the neighborhood gossip.

The neighbor to your right, Joel Miller, she said, was a wonderful man. Polite, kind, and not too hard on the eyes either. You hadn’t met him yet, but with a glowing review like that, you couldn’t wait until you did.

She had also mentioned that the neighborhood goes all out for Halloween. They even hosted a contest for the best decorated house. Your mind already raced with the possibilities.

You loved Halloween. In Texas, the stifling heat finally eased around that time, dropping to a slightly more tolerable range in the 80s with cooler nights. You loved seeing all the displays in the stores and how abandoned storefronts would be overtaken by whole companies dedicated to Halloween. You watched all the horror movies you could and on the weekends you’d seek out local fall festivals because you’re a sucker for candy apples and funnel cake.

No one ever decorated at the apartment complex you previously lived in, so you were extra excited to decorate your house and yard. You bought fake tombstones and plastic skeletons for the yard, spider webs and little ghosts to hang in the trees. You carved two pumpkins to set on either side of the steps leading up to your front door and made little ghost statues out of tomato cages, foam balls, and white fabric. You even strung purple lights through your hedges. 

You were totally going to win the decorating contest. You were confident that you would.

Until you woke up Halloween morning and Joel Miller had somehow decorated his entire home in the time that you had been sleeping, blissfully unaware.

The man had somehow managed to set up an entire army of skeletons, including a handmade wooden jail stuffed with ones trying to escape. There were some posed on the house itself, climbing up the sides and the roof. He had some coming out of the ground, red spotlights fixed on them for an eerie glow. But perhaps most impressive of all was the twelve foot skeleton with glowing red eyes that was posed near the makeshift jail, holding the door open like it was releasing the trapped undead soldiers.

Joel Miller had the motherfucking twelve foot skeleton. You wanted one of those so bad but it was always sold out. You checked every nearby Home Depot for months trying to find one and here Joel Miller has one, taunting you.

He won the decorating contest, sweeping the victory from right under your feet.

It may seem silly, but that was the moment you decided Joel Miller was the worst neighbor ever.

When you were buying your first home, you had been meticulous in calculating your finances in order to comfortably afford the purchase. You did not, however, account for having to repair your air conditioning system within less than a year of moving in. This made a significant dent in your savings, which led you to cut your expenses elsewhere.

One such expense was your internet. Why? Because it turns out Joel Miller, asshole neighbor, doesn’t password protect his router and you can just use his.

It’s not like he would notice.

_________________

Joel stares at his internet bill in confusion. This is the third month in a row that he’s been charged for going over his data allowance. That doesn’t even make sense. He’s the only person in his house and he only uses the internet on his phone to check the news and sometimes play Candy Crush. It’s why he got the lowest data plan in the first place.

He tries to think of what he could be doing differently, but comes up short. Hell, he’s not even home most of the day. He works long hours at different contracting jobs, so his free time is spent watching TV (cable, not connected to the internet), and sleeping.

But then it hits him. The overage charges never happened until you moved in. 

Joel powers up his ancient laptop and has to Google search what a router is. Turns out, he doesn’t have a password set on his. Which means, if his hunch is correct, you’ve just had free access to his internet this whole time.

He learns how to set a password and, more importantly, he learns how to change the name of his router. 

He needs to send a message, after all.

_________________

You’re about to start another episode of Grey’s Anatomy, courtesy of your friend generously sharing her Netflix password, when you receive an error message. 

No internet connectivity. Try again?

The little WiFi connection icon is missing from your toolbar. You investigate further, opening the list of options and scanning them for Joel’s, conveniently titled Miller.

But instead you find a new name.

GetYourOwnWiFi. And it’s password protected.

“Son of a bitch,” you hiss.

Joel Miller’s tree is always dropping debris in your yard. The limbs have grown over your shared fence line and on windy days you have to deal with extra pool clean up on top of the usual mess it makes of your yard, twigs and leaves ruining your perfectly manicured backyard oasis. 

You’ve asked him to trim the branches. Left him notes on his door and in his mailbox, but he still hasn’t done it.

Today you’re sending a new kind of message.

He’s going to wish he’d listened when you asked nicely. 

_________________

“What the fuck,” Joel growls when he gets home just after sunset. There’s piles of leaves and twigs littering his front porch, almost to the point that he can’t see the concrete slab beneath. 

There’s no way this just happened through the force of nature. It’s been a perfectly clear day in Austin and besides, there’s no trees at the front of his house for this kind of mess to fall from.

Which can only mean…

His eyes spot the bright pink Post-It note stuck to his door and he curses under his breath as he stomps up the porch steps and rips it down.

Here. Clean your own mess up for once. 

xoxo

Joel crumbles the note in his fist, taking deep breaths as he heads for the garage to grab a broom and a trash bag.

He’ll get you back.

He always does. 

You love animals, especially cats. Unfortunately, being allergic, you don’t have the option to have one of your own all the time. 

When you spot the first neighborhood stray, your heart lights up with excitement. It’s a little black and white cat with bright green eyes that walks right up to you while you’re getting your mail, winding its lithe body between your legs and purring against you. You stoop to pet it, mentally reminding yourself to wash your hands before you touch your face, otherwise your eyes would be itchy for hours.

“Hello, little baby,” you murmur, rubbing a hand down the length of its back. “How are you?” The cat gives a strong meow in response. “Oh, are you hungry? Let’s go see if I have anything I can give you as a treat.”

Back inside your house, you locate a can of tuna and dump it into a small plastic bowl. The cat sits patiently on the porch, tail flicking in anticipation. It hops down and shoves its little face into the bowl as soon as it’s within reach. 

“So cute,” you say, giving it one last pat on its back before returning inside.

_________________

There’s a cat sitting on Joel’s porch, watching him as he parks his truck. It’s the second time this week there’s been a cat lurking around his property. The first one he found out in the backyard, tearing up his flower beds.

The neighborhood had never had an issue with cats before, so he has a sneaking suspicion that you’re, once again, the root cause of his suffering. 

His suspicions are confirmed when he sees you on the porch one day, laying out a row of plastic bowls filled with what he assumes is cat food. At first he’s annoyed that he’s right, it is you feeding the cats, which is why they’ve been terrorizing his yard, but then you turn around and he’s struck by how utterly gorgeous you are. 

This is the first time Joel’s ever actually seen you. He’s usually out of the house before dawn and back after sunset, which must not coincide with your schedule since you’ve never run into each other. He remembers Betty, the older woman who lives to your left, telling him about meeting you.

“Gorgeous girl, that one. You two would probably hit it off,” she said as he hung a picture frame for her.

“Don’t go playin’ matchmaker, Betty,” he replied. 

But damn, seeing you now in a pair of little shorts that hug your hips and ass just right and a tight white t-shirt that shows off the tiniest bit of skin above the waist of your shorts is making him think he should have taken Betty up on her word.

Joel’s so distracted that he almost misses the way the cat on his porch hits one of his planters with his paw, knocking the ceramic over and spilling dirt all over the ground.

“Fuck!”

_________________

There’s a note on your door the next morning, a torn piece of paper with a familiar scrawl of messy handwriting that could only belong to one person.

Stop feeding the cats or you owe me new plants.

-Joel

The note actually makes you giggle. Betty sees you on your porch and beckons you over to hers.

“What’s got you gigglin’ like a schoolgirl?” The older woman asks.

“What? Nothing,” you reply too quickly.

“Wouldn’t happen to be a note from a certain tall, strong, and handsome young neighbor of yours?”

“No, definitely not.” 

She smirks at you. “You better quit terrorizin’ that poor man, honey.”

“Now, Betty, where would the fun be in that?” You say brightly as you head back to your house, the sound of her laughter following you through the door. 

There’s a package on Joel’s porch when he gets home from work. He doesn’t remember ordering anything, but he wouldn’t put it past himself.

He brings it inside without thinking twice or checking the label, chucking it on the counter with the rest of his mail as he searches for a box cutter in his junk drawer.

Joel cuts through the packing tape, lifting the flaps and rifling through the packing paper to pull out the contents.

It’s another box, light pink with the image of a hot pink u-shaped device on the top. The text across the top reads REMOTE VIBRATOR in black script.

He nearly drops the box in surprise, fumbling it in his hands. He’s certain he didn’t order this. 

Joel pulls the shipping box back towards him, keeping an eye on the vibrator like it might grow legs and run away. He flips the lid over to inspect the shipping label, his eyebrows rising as he reads your name and home address instead of his.

He looks at the toy again, mind whirling with images of you on your back, remote in hand as you bring yourself pleasure. He coughs, clearing his head and adjusts himself in his jeans.

He searches the junk drawer for a sheet of paper and a pen.

_________________

You’re staring at the delivery confirmation email from Lovelies, panic creeping down your spine. It says that your new toy has been delivered but there’s no package in your mailbox or on your porch. You’ve checked everywhere.

Which means it was either delivered to one of your neighbors or someone stole it.

If you’re being honest, you’d rather someone stole it than to have to go knock on Betty or, god forbid, Joel’s door to ask if they accidentally received your sex toy delivery. Your cheeks heat at even the thought of Joel knowing what you ordered. You head back inside empty handed.

Later, when you open your door to feed the cats, you’re surprised to find a box on your welcome mat. You set the bowls of food down and carry it inside, your excitement mounting. 

But when you open the box, you’re mortified to find a torn piece of paper on top of the packing material, Joel Miller’s familiar handwriting on the sheet.

Interesting choice

-Joel

“Fucking asshole,” you mumble, crumbling the note and tossing it to the side. You pull your new toy from its box and turn it on. “Huh. Fully charged.”

Your jerk of a neighbor won’t ruin your night if this little gadget has anything to say about it.

It’s Joel’s one day to sleep in and you’ve been blasting your music all fucking morning. He’s already got his head shoved under his pillow but the sound still filters through, ruining his chances of any extra hours of sleep to make up for his lack of it during the week.

He rolls out of bed with a heavy sigh, scrubbing a hand across his beard. He heads downstairs to make coffee, the heavy beat of your music chasing him through the house. He can feel the beginnings of a headache pulsing behind his eyes.

Joel tries to tune it out. Really. He does. As much as the two of you butt heads, he doesn’t mean anything by it, not really. He doesn’t want to be an asshole, nor is he trying to be one. 

But if you don’t turn your music down soon he’s going to lose his fucking mind.

He gives you another hour. He’s feeling generous. But when the music just keeps playing, he finally snaps. 

Joel shoves his feet into the work boots beside the door, paying little mind to the fact that he’s not wearing socks. In fact, he’s still in his sleep pants and ratty old t-shirt but he’s too far gone to care.

Once he’s in front of your door, he bangs on the wood with his fists. He waits for a response and when he doesn’t get one, probably since you can’t fucking hear him, he bangs again. There’s movement from the corner of his eye and he turns his head to find Betty watching him, lips tilted in a smirk.

“You okay with this?” Joel asks, gesturing vaguely to your house to indicate the noise level inside. 

“Don’t be such a party pooper,” she replies before shuffling inside. He turns back to the door to pummel it with his fists again but he’s surprised to find it open.

“Howdy, neighbor,” you say, eyebrow raised and arms crossed beneath your breasts.

Which were currently covered by the tiniest bikini top he’s ever seen. His eyes trail lower, over the expanse of your stomach to the matching bikini bottoms that peek out past the folded waist of your denim shorts.

“Uh,” he says, followed by a strained cough. “Hi.”

_________________

Joel Miller is standing on your porch dressed in a threadbare t-shirt and gray pajama bottoms that sit low on his hips, a strip of soft tan belly peeking out from above the waistband when he stretches an arm up to run his fingers through his dark, messy curls.

Christ, you think. The man is prettier than Betty gave him credit for.

“Can I help you?” You ask. His eyes snap from where they’d been lingering on your chest and you straighten your back just the slightest bit at the knowledge he’d been checking you out. 

Joel clears his throat. “Your music is way too loud.”

You roll your eyes. “Does it hurt?”

“Does…what hurt?”

“Always having a stick up your ass.” 

Betty barks a laugh from her porch and Joel’s head turns so fast you have whiplash just watching him. He throws his hands up.

“Who’s side are you on, Betty?!” He shouts. 

You’re bent over, laughing so hard your stomach hurts and tears form at the corners of your eyes. When you finally catch your breath and return your attention to Joel, he’s got his hands on his hips and an impressive furrow between his brows.

“Listen, maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I’m about to go out by the pool and have a drink. Wanna join?” You ask. 

“I don’t have my suit with me.”

“Well good thing you’re just right next door, huh? Go get it. I’ll leave the door unlocked,” you tell him before shutting the door in his face.

_________________

Joel returns to your house thirty minutes later, showered and wearing his swim trunks and a new t-shirt. He wipes his sweaty hands against his chest, not entirely sure why he’s nervous. He’s just having a drink with his annoying neighbor to hash out all the issues. No big deal.

Your music is still playing when he enters your house, giving the door a courtesy knock before letting himself in. The front door opens directly into the main living space, a large sectional couch facing a TV mounted between two windows to his right and a dining nook to his left. Your kitchen is nestled in the corner, just past an opening to a hallway that he assumes leads to the bedrooms. Your place is bursting with colors and textures and patterns, from the floral blanket draped over your velvet couch to the leaf patterned wallpaper and natural stone backsplash in your kitchen. You have tea towels hanging from your stove that say “ANOTHER ONE BITES THE CRUST” with a picture of a pizza, and an impressive looking bar cart that houses a variety of liquor bottles and glassware.

There’s a splash from outside and Joel sees that the sliding glass door to your patio is open. He steps onto the concrete deck, surveying the backyard oasis you’ve created for yourself. The pool is on the smaller side but still, it’s a pool, and Joel’s a little jealous of it. You’ve got chaise loungers lined near the edge and matching chairs that surround a little fire pit further out in the yard. There’s string lights hung from the shade canopy that extends from your house. 

You pop up from beneath the surface, your hair slicked back from your face and little droplets of water clinging to your skin. Joel stands there, unsure of what to do, until you swim to the ledge closest to him and drape your arms over it, regarding him with keen eyes.

“Hi,” you say. He swallows, the nerves returning as he tries desperately to not let his gaze fall below your neck.

“Hey,” he replies. 

“There’s beer in the cooler. Grab me one?” You ask before ducking back beneath the surface. He can see you swim towards the edge of the pool that the loungers face. He grabs two beers as instructed, popping the tops with the bottle opener fixed to the lid of the cooler. You break the surface once more, swimming over to where he sits on the end of one loungers.

Joel passes you the beer and you tip it towards him in thanks before taking a deep pull, your lips wrapped around the lip of the bottle and distracting him monumentally. 

“So, you’re the Joel Miller, huh?” You ask. “Tell me about yourself.”

The two of you talk for what feels like ages. He learns that you’re a software engineer and you work a typical 9-5 schedule, which is why he’s never caught you around the neighborhood before. You don’t like to be outdoors much, preferring reading and catching up on your Netflix shows. You have two brothers, both of whom are older than you and live on the opposite side of the country, but you visit them around Christmas. You love animals, but have major allergies so you settle for fleeting moments with the neighborhood strays and occasionally watching your best friend’s dog when she goes out of town. 

He tells you about his work as a contractor, which he’s been doing since he was fresh out of high school and had no idea what to do with his life. He talks about his brother Tommy, how they work together on most projects and they want to start their own contracting business, but that’s a dream for another day. He mentions he’s more of a dog person than a cat person, especially because he has a grudge against the orange neighborhood cat that is still tearing up his flowerbeds. 

Joel loves the way you laugh, bright and full bodied as you toss your head back and bring a hand to your chest each time. You talk with your hands a lot, which is funny because you keep letting go of the pool ledge and scrambling to grab it again when gravity pulls you down in the water. If he doesn’t give enough detail in an answer, you’re not shy about asking him for more information, like when he said his favorite color was blue.

“Okay, but what shade of blue?” You asked.

“Just…blue?” Joel asked, clearly not understanding your question.

You rolled your eyes. “Men. I like lavender. Not just purple. Purple is a range of shades.”

“I guess…navy?”

“Now you’re getting somewhere, big guy!”

The conversation lulls as you share your drinks in companionable silence. The Texas sun bears down on his back, his t-shirt sticking uncomfortably to his sweat slick skin. He bites the bullet and reaches behind his head to tug the damp fabric off, leaving him in just his swim trunks. He doesn’t miss the appreciative once-over you give him.

You extend a hand to him. “Help me out?””

Joel grasps your hand in his, marveling for a moment how small it is in his broad palm. He’s distracted enough that he doesn’t notice the michievous look on your face, or the way you plant your feet to the pool wall for leverage.

You give a sharp tug with both hands and he goes toppling into the pool with a surprised shout.

_________________

You’re laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath. The look on Joel’s face as you tugged him into the pool will be burned into your memory for years to come. You’d been waiting all afternoon for the man to take his shirt off, not only because you were admittedly dying to see what was hiding beneath the fabric, but also because you wanted exact a little neighborly revenge for stomping over to your house to tell you your music was too loud.

You’re feeling mighty accomplished, right up until you feel a hand wrap around your ankle and you get pulled beneath the surface with no warning. 

You open your eyes, chlorine stinging them as you see Joel torpedo towards the shallow end of the pool. You give chase, breaking the surface with a gasp.

“You asshole–”

Joel cuts you off by wrapping an arm around your waist, tugging you close and tipping his head down to capture your lips with his. He kisses like a man starved and he tastes like sunshine and chlorine and the beer he’d been drinking as his tongue slides hungrily against yours. He uses his arm to press your body to his, but it’s not close enough.

You wrap your arms around his neck and lift your legs to circle his waist, your center grinding against his rapidly hardening length. Joel trails his hands up and down your back, stopping to grab rough handfuls of your ass as he groans against your mouth.

“Fuck,” he curses. “This little fuckin’ bikini has been torturin’ me all day.”

“Why don’t you just take it off then?” You offer. He pulls back to watch your face as his fingers find the strings of your bottoms beneath the water, giving both sides a quick tug until you feel the material fall away. His hand creeps up your back, pulling at the strings holding your top together around your back and neck until they, too, fall away.

Joel walks the two of you forward until your back collides with the rough stone of the pool wall.  He presses a muscular thigh between your legs, boxing you in with his body. Your hips jerk at the sudden pressure and friction against your bare pussy, a moan slipping from your lips as Joel presses kisses to your jaw and neck, nipping the delicate skin with his teeth.

“You gotta be quiet, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your skin, the deep timbre of his voice making a shiver dance down your spine despite the Texas heat. “Those sounds are just for me, isn’t that right?”

You nod your head quickly and he rewards you with another toe curling kiss. Your hips rock against his thigh and he swallows every little whimper as his hands explore your body.

“Joel,” you whine. His fingers pinch and pull your nipples before he soothes them with sweet circles of his calloused thumb.

“What’s the matter, baby?” He asks. One of his hands slides across your thigh and your breath hitches as he brings it dangerously close to your pussy before trailing it back down. “You need somethin’?”

“Need you to touch me.”

“That right? You want me to take care of that pretty little pussy?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “Please.”

“So polite. Where’s all that attitude from earlier, hm?” Joel asks, sarcasm dripping from every word. You narrow your eyes at him.

“I can be rude, Miller. You want that instead?”

“Trust me, I know, but I think I like you better when you’re beggin’ for me,” he replies with a grin. 

Joel’s hands grab onto your waist and he hoists you up onto the ledge. His broad shoulders press against the back of your thighs and his arms drape across your hips. He smiles at you, mouth tauntingly close to where you’re desperate for relief. You lean back on your elbows, the concrete warm against your bare skin and the sun washing over you.

“How about you show me those nice manners one more time?” He asks. 

You grit your teeth. “Joel, I swear to god I will go inside and lock you out–”

Your threats are cut off by your startled moan as he licks through your folds, broad swipes of his tongue from your fluttering entrance to your aching clit. His sweet brown eyes are sinful as he looks up at you from between your thighs, devouring your pussy like his last meal. His nose rubs against your clit each time his tongue dips inside of you and you’re quickly reduced to a writhing mess.

You shift your weight to one arm and reach down with the other to tangle your fingers into his hair. He moans appreciatively against your cunt, the vibrations making you keen. When your hips start to fight against his hold, his lips wrap around your clit, sucking and rolling it with his tongue.

“Fuck, fuck, just like that,” you babble, trying to keep your voice down as you balance right on the edge of your orgasm. He hums again, tongue swirling over your clit until that final thread snaps and you free fall into oblivion, fingers curling tightly against his scalp and making him groan as he works you through your release.

Your limbs go boneless in the aftermath and you collapse against the ground, an arm over your eyes to block out the sun. You hear the sound of water sloshing before Joel lays beside you on his back, arms beneath his head. He turns to look at you, his bright smile making your heart flutter in your chest. 

And when he extends an arm out for you to snuggle up against him, you can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Joel Miller isn’t such a bad neighbor after all.

“What do you mean you thought I was the asshole?!” Joel asks indignantly as he leaves your bathroom. He’s got a towel held up around his waist and you’re finding it hard to concentrate on his words at this exact moment.

You’ve just finished showering together after your outdoor activities, where you returned his poolside favor with some attention of your own. Now, you’re laying on the bed in your own towel, tired from the sun and the sex. 

You’ve also just admitted that you thought he was the worst neighbor. An asshole even. And now he’s looking at you like you’re insane.

“You stole my internet!” He exclaims. 

“You can’t prove that,” you reply, maybe a bit too quickly. He raises an eyebrow at you, but you refuse to back down.

“Fine, but you put all those twigs and shit on my porch.”

“They were from your tree, I was simply…returning your property.”

“And the cats?” He crosses his arms. “Because of you, my flowerbeds look like shit and I’ve lost two planters.”

“Not my fault they can sense you’re the weak link. They’re asserting their dominance. Hiss at them or something,” you say with a shrug.

Joel gapes at you. “You can’t be serious.”

“Look, it’s water under the bridge now, right? What can I do to make it up to you?”

He’s silent for a moment before a mischievous grin spreads across his face.

“Where’s that toy you bought, sweetheart?”

_________________

Joel’s got you on your back, your wireless vibrator placed snugly inside of your and against your clit. You’re glaring at him because he’s stopped you from another orgasm. He’s quickly becoming obsessed with that fire in your eyes and the curl of your lip when you’re mad at him.

He presses a trail of kisses from your ankle to the inside of your thighs, nipping the sensitive skin close to your pussy just to hear you gasp. He continues across your abdomen and your breasts, stopping to lavish attention to each sensitive nipple, your back arching against him for more.

“Joel,” you whine, squirming beneath him. He stretches up to capture your lips in a kiss, your lips dragging across his in the most addicting way. His cock slides against the smooth skin of your hip, making him groan. With a flick of his thumb, he turns the toy back on. “Oh, fuck!”

“Want you to come for me this time, baby,” Joel tells you. “Then I want you to come all over my cock, okay?”

You nod, back bowing and muscles straining as your writhe against the vibrations. Joel sits back on his heels to watch you, the way your mouth is dropped open in a silent shout and how your eyes find his at the exact moment you start to come undone.

“Oh my god,” you pant as Joel swiftly removes the toy, the pink silicone shiny with your release. He tosses it to the side and presses his cock to your fluttering hole, sinking inside of you with a deep groan. Your walls are still clenching with the aftershocks of your orgasm as he begins to thrust, slow and deep.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he growls. He uses a hand to press one of your knees closer to your chest, his fingers wrapped tightly beneath your knee. 

The change in angle gets him deeper and his pace grows faster in response to your moans. He can feel you start to pulse around him, each drag of his cock out of your cunt getting harder as your walls squeeze, desperately trying to keep him inside. 

“Touch yourself,” Joel commands. “Wanna see you come for me again, pretty girl, come on.”

Your fingers find your clit, swirling through the mess of slick coating your folds. Your eyes are glued to him as you work yourself to the same rhythm of his thrusts. He knows you’re close when your eyes start to flutter, your head dropping back against the mattress and your thighs going tight against his hips.

“That’s it, good fuckin’ girl, just like that,” he growls as you come with a shout of his name. “Christ, you look so damn good.”

You blink at him, your eyes hazy and your smile languid as he chases his own release, using your sensitive cunt for his pleasure. When it gets to be too much, too close, he withdraws, fisting his cock with rough strokes until he comes in thick splashes against your belly.

He collapses on the bed beside you, both of your chests heaving with deep breaths. After a moment, he uses one of the towels to wipe you clean, tossing it to the floor. You glare at him. 

“You better put that in the hamper later,” you admonish. He pulls you into his side. 

“So, why exactly did you think I was an asshole neighbor?” He asks. To his surprise, you blush, mumbling something he can’t make out. “What?”

“I said because you beat me at the Halloween decorating contest.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. You have the twelve foot skeleton and I’m jealous.”

“I’ll get you as many skeletons as you want,” Joel laughs. You smile at him.

“Sounds good to me, big guy.”

_________________

The following Halloween, there are two twelve foot skeletons in the neighborhood, and they live right next door to each other.

Joel Miller taglist: 

@huffle-punk @johnwatsn @hopelessromantic727  @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3 @yellingloudly @dragon-of-winterfelll @thedeadsingwithdirtintheirmouths @mydailyhyperfixations @liati2000 @ghostofjoharvelle @cutesyscreenname @morgaussy @letsgroovetonighttt @endlessthxxghts @fake-bleach @brilliantopposite187 @mattmurdock1021 @str84pedro @justsomeoneovertherainbow @loquaciousferret @milly-louise @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @kirsteng42 @caatheeriinee07 @eternallyvenus @midnightswithdearkatytspb @evyiione @leeeesahhh @tloubarbie @afterglowsb-tch13 @loveliestofthoughts @theviewfromtheritz @brittmb115 @uncassettodiricordi @pedritosgfreal @adriennemichelle98 @mxtokko @gingersince97 @switchbladedreamz @casa-boiardi @tonysterco @rvjaa @ladymunson @sexpoisoned @trisaratops-mcgee @decemberdolly @spookyemorockbabe @reader-without-a-story @katmoonz @simping-soldat @mswarriorbabe80 @orphanbird95 @shatteredbaby @tusk89 @gingersince97 @mssbridgerton @internetobsessed1234-blog @sloanexx @manazo @bigboiseason123 @bean-is-reading @darlingpedro @silkiers @pascals-cat @bbyanarchist @therealcap @pedrosgrogu @dreamingofdaddydin

Want more Joel Miller? Check out my masterlist.

[nyerus]

🎧A Guide to the TGCF Audio Drama🎭

With the release of the new season of the fabulous TGCF audio drama, I wanted to make an updated guide on how to make an account, purchase, and listen (with English subs) to it! Hopefully, this will help more people enjoy it and join in on the fun!

As a quick reminder, the audio drama is based on the revised version of the novel! It's a very faithful adaptation, but if you're a new fan, that might throw you for a loop! If you need an overview of the different versions of TGCF, check out this post first!

Part One: Making an Account & Purchasing

The process is a lot easier than you may expect! The site where the audio drama is hosted is "missevan.com," also known as "MaoerFM." They are one and the same!

Check out these infographics to create an account and buy the audio drama. (Due to tumblr compression, they may be difficult to read. If this is the case, please view these images in full-screen and preferably on a web browser for best quality!)

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

General Info:

It costs 319 diamonds for the first season, and 359 diamonds for the second season of the TGCF audio drama. This was less than $5 USD, for each season. Future seasons will likely be similarly priced.

Episodes typically release weekly. Mini-episodes/bonus content releases intermittently, and often continues after the main season "ends."

This guide will work for any other audio dramas you want to purchase and support (such as MDZS)! They obviously have different costs, but the process of buying is pretty much the same.

Account/Registration Info:

If you do not see your country/region code listed when making an account, it is unfortunately unavailable there. I do not know any workarounds at the moment, apart from asking a friend/relative in a different country to help you out! If anyone does know other options, please let me know!

Step One of the guide is technically optional, as logging in on the app for the first time will automatically create a new account, if there’s not already one associated with your mobile phone number. I recommend doing that step anyway, as it will ensure that you have a password linked to your account. Several people in the past have reported that they sometimes cannot receive the verification code to log in. (Especially from South America and SEA for some reason.) Having a password bypasses this, if it happens to you.

Unfortunately, it seems that you MUST register with a mobile number to begin with.

Otherwise, you can use an existing Bilibili/QQ/WeChat/Weibo account if you have it. They all require a number for registration too, as far as I know, so you may run into the same problem. They may still be worth trying if you have no other options! Once again, if anyone is aware of other workarounds, do let me know.

Additionally, it’s possible to link your account to an email AFTER you register with a mobile number. (There’s no escaping that, from what I can tell.) You can then use that to log in.

It seems useful to have your email and a password associated with your account, especially in case your country code gets nixed from availability -- which has been known to happen without warning in the past.

The mobile browser seems to prefer you log in with a number/email and a password, rather than a verification code.

LINKING AN E-MAIL TO YOUR ACCOUNT (Optional)

This must be done via web browser, or with your mobile browser set to desktop mode. It’s VERY easy if you use a browser with an auto-translate feature like Google Chrome:

(These images are the MTL translated versions!)

Unfortunately yes, you will need to receive a verification code via mobile number to enable this. The second verification code gets sent to your email, though! (Try not to lose your password, because I'm pretty sure you'll still have to use your phone to verify and change it.) Don't forget to check your spam folder if you don't see it. It will be from "猫耳FM."

Once again, this is optional! I just wanted to include it as an extra avenue for people who may struggle with the verification codes, as they can be finicky. And it happened to me while I was making this section, so I knew I had to....

Part Two: How to Enable English Subtitles

First things first: there are no official English subs for the TGCF Audio Drama. Though I'm fairly sure this applies to all dramas on MaoerFM.

However, there are Chinese (Simplified) subs for each episode.

OPTION ONE: MTL

The main method that non-Chinese speakers have been using to understand the Audio Drama is via MTL (machine translation) on those subs! Browsers like Google Chrome not only have auto-translate, but it works in real time as you watch/listen to the episode.

Make sure that it's turned on and that you've selected English -- or your preferred output language!

Be aware there are TWO types of subtitles on MaoerFM. There are the official subs, and the temporary subs.

At the bottom of the audio player, there is a button labelled "字幕," which is circled in purple in the image below. If it is there, it means that episode has official subs available, and you can toggle them on/off. Meanwhile, the "弹" that the green arrow is pointing to is known as the "barrage." That's the scrolling text that you will see filling the screen. It's other fans screaming and crying in chat. You can turn it off if it feels overwhelming!

New episodes may take anywhere from a few hours to a day or two to be officially subtitled. (The bonus episodes don't have official subs for whatever reason.) In the meantime, there will be subtitlers working on adding temporary subs! I'd advise waiting a little while before listening to a new episode so they have more time to work, and you'll have better coverage!

While official subs are entirely separate, the temporary subs are part of the barrage. So you will have to keep the barrage turned on. (Notice how there is no "字幕" button next to it yet!) Unlike the rest of the barrage, the subs will be stationary, color-coded, and at the very bottom of the window -- so they're easy to differentiate.

However, since the barrage can be a lot if you aren't used to it, there is a way around it.

Hit the settings menu (blue circle) and block the scrolling comments. You can also turn off the top ones, but just make sure not to turn off the bottom ones -- because those are the subs!

DO NOTE that this all works best on desktop! If everything's gone correctly, you should have something like these:

Right -- regular view, temporary subs Left -- full-screen, official subs

It's possible to get this to work on mobile if you enable desktop mode in your Chrome app. You will probably need to refresh a few times after that, or open the page in a new tab to have it work properly. Then it's the same steps as above!

You should have something like these:

Right -- landscape mode Left -- portrait mode

The scaling on mobile can be troublesome, and I have noticed that the auto-translate is slower than on desktop. It seems to take an extra second or two to work on each line -- whereas on desktop it's pretty instant -- and that can get annoying, especially in fast-paced scenes.

Additional Info:

This does not work for the mobile app! It is for the website ONLY!

If the translation stops working, refreshing usually fixes it.

There are potentially other options to using Chrome. Any browser that has an auto-translate will work, assuming it's as quick as Chrome's. If anyone has tried other browsers and seen success, please leave a reply!

OPTION TWO: FANSUBS

TreasureChestSubs here on tumblr have been doing high-quality fansubs for several audio dramas, including TGCF as of recently! However, at the time of making this guide, their TGCF translations currently only cover the first few episodes of season one. You will need to request an invite to their Discord server via the form in their posts. Please do check them out if you're interested.

I don't personally know of any other fansubbers who are actively working on the audio drama right now. But I do want to mention that Xyra_Rei on twitter has a Discord server where they share some translated snippets from various episodes. There are other great resources by fellow fans, too. Links and more info about the server can be found in the pinned post on their profile!

Part Three: Enjoy!!!

I hope this updated guide helps more people experience the wonder that is the TGCF audio drama (or really, any audio drama)! I cannot overstate how good it is in every aspect, and I think every TGCF fan deserves to be able to hear it for themselves! 💖

[the-broken-truth]

Leaving The Web [Part 3] - Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara w/ Daughter Symbiote Spider Reader

Summary: At the Chocolate Shop where [Name] works, a familiar face appears and causes a commotion among the Symbiote Host. Despite this, [Name] must remain composed to keep her job. The question is, can [Name] and Venom keep their cool when their past is affecting their present?

Tag-List: @one-green-frog, @bodypositivefangirl, @ayyybee

[Earth-232 -  The Confiseur's Shop]

"[Name]! Can you come here for a moment?" The Confiseur - Madame Kristen - called from her office to the front of the store, where [Name] was placing the latest Chocolate Sculpture in the cooling display case before closing the glass door and walking behind the counter, into the back, and down the hallway into the office, where the Madame Kristen was counting some money before placing it in an envelope and holding it out to [Name], "This is your monthly bonus; ever since you started working here, I've more than doubled my income. You've more than earned this."

"Thank you, Madame Kristen." [Name] said as she took the cash and placed it in her pocket before asking if there was anything else she needed.

"No. I'm going to leave for the rest of the day and you can leave an hour early today after locking up." Madame Kristen said as she rose from her seat and walked out of the office with [Name] behind her as she locked the door. Madame Kristen told [Name] to try and sell the Chocolate Sculptures for the day before leaving out of the store, walking to her car, and out of her parking lot.[Name[] took her rag and started wiping down the counter before the door opened and the bell sounded, [Name] looked up and smiled.

"Greetings, Valued Customer! Welcome to Madame Kristen's Chocolate Shop! How can I help you today?!" [Name] smiled but that smile soon faded away when she came face to face with her father - Miguel O'Hara. Those blood-red eyes made her blood boil but she kept her face cal; she didn't want to lose her job.

"You have a lovely smile, Mija; I wonder if you got that from me or your mother." Miguel said as he walked over to his daughter - the counter being the only thing that separated them.

"Is there something I can help you with, sir?" [Name] said as she gritted her teeth, trying her best not to yell at the man before her - the same man who abandoned her to go to another universe to take care of another daughter when another version of himself was killed in a robbery that he had no business being in. This was the man who caused an entire universe to collapse because of his selfish greed.

"There's no need to be so formal with me, Mija; I am your father after all." Miguel said she placed a hand over [Name's] hand that was resting on the counter before she pulled it away and placed it by her side.

"You are mistaken, Sir. I don't have a father or a mother, I am an Orphan. Now, is there something you would like to purchase? If so, please let me know and I shall ring you up. If not, please leave the store, who can't have stragglers in the store." [Name] explained in the business tone of voice. Miguel looked at his daughter with his red eyes before a frown took over his face; his own flesh and blood were denying him once again and he was not going to take this.

"[Name] O'Hara, please do not address me in such a disrespectful manner. As your father, I want to inform you that we will be returning to our universe and I will be there for you, unlike before. Mija, I apologize for my behavior toward you. My issues with your mother caused me to take it out on you, when all you wanted was my love and respect. Please, come home and allow me to be the father you deserve.." Miguel said as he held his hand out, hoping his daughter would take it but she just glared at it before opening her mouth to speak, the door rang again and the two of them looked to see Madame Kristen walking back into the store.

"[Name], you're still here? Your shift ended 30 Minutes ago, is everything alright?" She asked her employee but then she saw the towering man standing before her. "Who is this? A Customer?"

"No, a delusional man who thinks he's my dead father. He won't buy anything and he won't leave." [Name] explained, making Miguel look at her with a hurt expression on his face.

"Sir, if you're not anything to buy anything, please leave." Madame Kristen said as she gestured to the door, Miguel looked at [Name] again before he left out the store with a glare on his face.

"Are you okay, [Name]?" Kristen asked.

"Yeah.... I'll be fine. I'll see you on Monday, Madame Kristen." [Name] said as she walked out of the shop and started heading home; something about Miguel wasn't right. He was different and [Name knew she was gonna have to watch her back.

[leaping-laelaps-art]

The archeocete Perucetus colossus dives through a coastal bloom of jellyfish in the Pisco Basin (southern Peru), some time during the Eocene (with bonus multiview).

I originally intended to add epibionts to this reconstruction (reflecting the specialized communities found on many living whales, especially baleen whales). Yet, interestingly, it appears that most animal epibionts and ectoparasites of modern cetaceans, such as whale barnacles (Hayashi et al. 2013) and remoras (Friedman et al. 2013), only appeared in the Neogene or late Paleogene, or have a poorly known (co-)evolutionary history, like whale lice (Pfeiffer 2009, Iwasa-Arai & Serejo 2018) and pennellids (large parasitic copepods) (Hermosilla et al. 2015). So, no epibionts* for big lad Perucetus!

References and notes about the reconstruction:

*animal epibionts. Unicellular eukaryotes like diatoms were most likely present on early cetaceans, given their prevalence on modern large marine animals (Ashworth et al. 2022). Of course, it is possible that other animals (i.e., early, less specialized representatives of modern groups, or different taxa altogether) were also already exploiting the surfaces offered by these early whales; however, this remains entirely speculative.

The reconstruction of Perucetus proposed in its original description (Bianucci et al. 2023) includes some rather odd (if interesting) choices about soft tissues, including limbs with webbed and distinguishable fingers, and a manatee-like tail. While these choices might be defendable in light of the rather basal status of Perucetus among cetaceans, I opted for a more derived look based on the assumption that fully marine cetaceans like basilosaurids would have probably rapidly acquired hydrodynamically favorable adaptations, pushing them towards a more familiar Neoceti-like appearance (even though Perucetus itself was likely a poor swimmer (Bianucci et al. 2023), it seems likely to me that this was a secondarily acquired trait, given the less extreme morphology of other basilosaurids).

Reconstruction in the multiview scaled to ~18 m in length after the estimations of Bianucci et al. (2023).

References:

Ashworth, M. P., Majewska, R., Frankovich, T. A., Sullivan, M., Bosak, S., Filek, K., Van de Vijver, B., Arendt, M., Schwenter, J., Nel, R., Robinson, N. J., Gary, M. P., Theriot, E. C., Stacy, N. I., Lam, D. W., Perrault, J. R., Manire, C. A., & Manning, S. R. (2022). Cultivating epizoic diatoms provides insights into the evolution and ecology of both epibionts and hosts. Scientific Reports, 12(1), Article 1. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-19064-0

Bianucci, G., Lambert, O., Urbina, M., Merella, M., Collareta, A., Bennion, R., Salas-Gismondi, R., Benites-Palomino, A., Post, K., de Muizon, C., Bosio, G., Di Celma, C., Malinverno, E., Pierantoni, P. P., Villa, I. M., & Amson, E. (2023). A heavyweight early whale pushes the boundaries of vertebrate morphology. Nature, 620(7975), Article 7975. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-06381-1

Friedman, M., Johanson, Z., Harrington, R. C., Near, T. J., & Graham, M. R. (2013). An early fossil remora (Echeneoidea) reveals the evolutionary assembly of the adhesion disc. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 280(1766), 20131200. https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2013.1200

Hayashi, R., Chan, B. K. K., Simon-Blecher, N., Watanabe, H., Guy-Haim, T., Yonezawa, T., Levy, Y., Shuto, T., & Achituv, Y. (2013). Phylogenetic position and evolutionary history of the turtle and whale barnacles (Cirripedia: Balanomorpha: Coronuloidea). Molecular Phylogenetics and Evolution, 67(1), 9–14. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ympev.2012.12.018

Hermosilla, C., Silva, L. M. R., Prieto, R., Kleinertz, S., Taubert, A., & Silva, M. A. (2015). Endo- and ectoparasites of large whales (Cetartiodactyla: Balaenopteridae, Physeteridae): Overcoming difficulties in obtaining appropriate samples by non- and minimally-invasive methods. International Journal for Parasitology: Parasites and Wildlife, 4(3), 414–420. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijppaw.2015.11.002

Pfeiffer, C. J. (2009). Whale Lice. In W. F. Perrin, B. Würsig, & J. G. M. Thewissen (Eds.), Encyclopedia of Marine Mammals (Second Edition) (pp. 1220–1223). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-373553-9.00279-0

[cha5otic]

Oh hey, a custom Bionicle/Hero Factory head pack

(cannot seem to find any on the web, or I'm bad at finding things, so)

There is mainly two head types in the pack, Matoran Universe head and Agori/Glatorian head. Had to differentiate them cause apparently they have different eye heights and the latter type is a lot less forgiving in space

The Matoran Universe head is compatible with Mata, Metru, Okoto connections (except Hewkii Mahri's Garai, rip, also prolly Teridax's Kraahkan). The Agori/Glatorian head is compatible with Agori/Glatorian, HF Breakout, HF Brain Attack (screw HF 2.0 and 3.0 heads)

(Edit) Things to note about the models:

-Garai is incompatible due to space needed for the Okoto's mask connections, may be revised soon

-had to cut a bit of the bar from the HF Brain Attack to make the head fit into Agori/Glatorian helmets

-Agori/Glatorian heads are smushed to make sure Brain Attack visor+helmet fits

-the heads are a little bit taller (half an axle/pin taller) for light pipings

-will prolly edit the models soon so the light pipings will work better, especially for the nyan head

-idk why but stud.io seem to make the parts ricochet wildly when inserted

Also bonus torso piece and foot, its articulated (why haven't they thought of this)

Also apparently every rendering software I had broke when I tried exporting the stud.io model for render

File is here, idk what other free anonymous file hosting sites there is, remind me if you want it reuploaded since PixelDrain only hosts it for a few months

[moisellethefae]

Hello there! I didn't know who you are and clicked on your profile because Tumblr suggested it to me, and I was like, why does Tumblr think a gamer fairy is related to Mark Rosewater? Your pinned post explained it quite well. However, there's one thing I still don't know: what is/was the Magic Story Audio Drama?

Haha well hi there! I suppose tumblr would still link me to Magic folk as that's most of what I posted over the years. Voice of All, the Magic Story Audio Drama is a project I ran for 5 years (2016-2021) where I, along with a cast of eventually 300+ folks, turned the web fiction of Magic the Gathering into a fully voice acted audio drama. This covered everything from Magic Origins all the way up to Strixhaven, with a smattering of extra stories here and there throughout.

You can find all of the podcast on the website linked below, or on Youtube if you prefer, though that does include a bunch of other projects. We're one of the few places where you can still experience the novellas Children of the Nameless (previously hosted on the mtg website but they removed it with plans to sell physical copies that never happened) and The Gathering Storm (A War of the Spark prequel that was only released as an email campaign).

If you ever feel like having some good stories in your ears, I hope you enjoy it! There's over 200 stories there. The first years (Shadows Over Innistrad block) is a bit rough, but I like to think for the most part the project holds up quite well!

Oh and also Moiselle here (the firefly faerie character) started as a Magic fan planeswalker, so bonus connection!

[slothyykittee]

Redesign and Rewrite - Alastor

Alright, let's start this with my most disliked character of HH due to the design and non sense story.

(Redesign, with Radio symbols.)

Alastor is born in the USA at the year 1891, in New Orleans, Louisiana. He wasn't born in the hospital like the others, and instead was born at home. This is because his parents committed the gravest crime in all of the United States (Miscegenation.)

His father is a rich merchant, and secretly works for violent ideological groups, of the conservative kind. He's short-tempered, insecure yet charming, and is pretty manipulative. He was VERY glad that his son didn't turn out "too" dark, or his son wouldn't even succeed in this political climate.

His mother was a poor farmer until she married the father. She's caring/compassionate, loving, and loves to give care to animals (she feeds stray cats when she goes outside) and also loves to cook.

(Alastor's mother. Young. With spoon and fork symbolism)

Unfortunately, though, His parents tend to fight a lot, With the father screaming and even hitting the mother. He also has hit his son. which leads the father to leave the family.

Alastor clings to his mother, scared to even go outside and meet people. His mom tries to calm him down with affection and teaches him how to cook. She prepares Alastor to go to school and goes there with his mom's friend. He's very quiet, which leads his classmates to see him as a sort of freak. Leading him to not make any friends.

(Alastor as a young boy, staring at the newly bought mirror.)

After Alastor became an adult, he got a job at a Radio station, yet it was far away from his home. His mom was very old and unable to take care of herself. He was worried and yet got reassured by his mom's friends that they will take care of her.

He made good money and a good reputation as a Radio Host in Louisiana and even got invited to a popular podcast in New York. Sadly though, he had to stop his work for months when his mother died.

Other than being a Radio Host, he was fascinated by crime and violence, which led him to actually commit murder. He wasn't guilty, instead used to body as something to eat. He liked the taste, which made him want to murder more people and get more "meat". The authorities were in high alert and tried to find the serial killer, yet with no success.

Alastor died in 1945 (aged 54) by being shot in the head by a deer hunter, after being attacked and bitten by dogs.

Fast forward to now, where he's the most feared overlord in Hell and "helping" Charlie with her Hotel, sometimes he wishes Charlie's idea works. Sure, he came here to burn the Hotel down in the end because "ENTERTAINMENT!" but... He wanted to be given a second chance, so he could maybe see his mother again, who's likely in Heaven.

----------------

That's the rewrite! I searched through the Web when writing this backstory, as I try to be accurate to old times, and the fact that I never lived in the USA so there's that.

I may do Angel Dust next, I don't know.

(Bonus Image: Valentine!)

[zkbigbang]

Hello! I'm interested in joining the BB as an artist, but tumblr's recent move to partner with ai companies has me concerned about using tumblr as a place to post my artwork going forward. Would posting the finished art on tumblr be a requirement, or would it be okay to simply post to ao3 instead?

Hey, anon! Your concern is completely understandable, and I hate that AI is something we have to think about at this point. And for the record, use of any AI text or art generation is contrary to the purpose of the Big Bang and isn't welcome in this event. We'll be updating our event guidelines for this year to reflect that soon.

I did talk it over with the rest of the mod team, and for now, we are still requiring that art be posted to Tumblr. We want everyone to be able to see our participants' work on a common platform, and for better or worse, Tumblr is the platform that works the best for us. AO3 is amazing, but it's not a place where people tend to look for visual art, and any images you see on there (aside from profile pictures) have to be hosted on another site anyway since the AO3 servers aren't set up to handle image hosting.

However, we have no problem with artists taking other precautions to protect their work. In fact, we would highly encourage it. You can opt out of Tumblr's third party sharing under the visibility section of blog settings on web, which should theoretically block AI companies from using your work - we opted out of third party sharing here on the event blog as soon as I figured out where the button was, but it's hard to say how much that will protect the people we reblog from. We'd encourage everyone to opt out on their personal blogs and sideblogs to be safe. And as an extra precaution, you can always run your finished art through Glaze to cloak it from any bots that might be trying to mimic your style as well as Nightshade to poison the bots before posting. We're running this event for the human Zutara fans who want to spend their time and effort with us. If a few AI generation models get hurt along the way, that's a bonus!

PS: this information mostly applies to visual art - we do welcome other types of art in the Big Bang, but posting requirements and precautions against AI may vary by medium. Let us know if you have any questions!

[lilyspencerappreciationweek]

Welcome to our very first Lily Spencer Appreciation Week!! A very happy Halloween to every one and we can't think of a better way to kickstart this week 💖💖

Our theme for Day 1 is Halloween - a festival that would be well known in the universe of Bloodbound, and that Lily Spencer (pioneer of werewolf fanfic) would absolutely love! Lily's love for the supernatural predates her Turning, and after recovering from the shock of becoming a vampire she tells the MC about the things she learned on the dark web about such creatures. On this day, it would be great to celebrate Lily's love for the supernatural!!

Any and all content is welcome during this week - fanfic, fanart, headcanons, meta, edits, moodboards, interactive media, even screenshots of your favourite Lily scenes!! Our only requirement is that the pieces should focus on Lily and present a positive depiction of her. WIPs and Throwback pieces are also more than welcome!

You can send pieces during any day of the week (not necessarily just the day of the theme) but do specify which day you meant the piece for!! We will keep a bonus week open for any pending entries too. Our rough deadline for entries will be Nov 10th. You can still send entries after the date and it will still be put up in the masterlist - this date is mostly for us to make the thank you video! Otherwise we will be open for entries until the next event.

Do keep these things in mind while making your posts:

1. Use the tags #lilyspencerappreciationweek and #LSAW, along with the days you mean the content for (#LSAW Day 1, #LSAW Day 2)

2. Tag @lilyspencerappreciationweek, and hosts @lizzybeth1986 and @sazanes in the posts so we don't miss anything.

FAN-COMMUNITY BLOGS keep the creative parts of our fandom alive! If you would like to participate in other events alongside this one, here are a couple great blogs you can check out!

@choicesficwriterscreations - Accepts both fic and art! Check here for their rules, policies and roster of events!

@choicesmonthlychallenge - Any and all content welcome! Here are the prompts for @choicesoctober, and more prompts for @choicesnovchallenge.

@choicesflashfics - Primarily for fics under a 2500 word count. These prompts are for the week, until 4th Nov!

@choicespride - Any and all content, as long as it is centered around LGBTQ characters and/or themes! Today is the last day for their Asexual Awareness Week!

@choicesprompts - Primarily fanfic! They are currently running a Flufftober event that ends today!

We hope you have loads of fun this week and bring loads of love for our wonderful, funny, gorgeous Lily!!

Happy Lily Appreciation Week, everyone!!!

[star-trek-pop-quiz]

Star Trek POP-QUIZ #41

( 29 / 07 / 2024 )

Question 1. What is the name of the web-series hosted by Wil Wheaton? a. The Shuttlepod Show b. Tabletop c. The Orb d. The Adventure Zone

Bonus Question: What is the topic?

Question 2. TRUE OR FALSE Wesley Crusher is older than Harry Kim.

Bonus Question: What is their age-gap?

Question 3. How many episodes of Star Trek has Wil Wheaton appeared in? a. 77 b. 89 c. 102 d. 106

Question 4. Where is Wesley Crusher a Mirror-Verse Villain? a. IDW Comics. b. Star Trek Online c. A Book by Diane Duane. d. An Unaired Mirror-Verse TNG Episode.

Bonus Question: What is Wesley Crusher's position in the Mirror-Verse?

Question 5. Fill-in Question! How many superheroes has Wil Wheaton played?

Score: __/ 5 + 3 bonus ( Answers under cut )

Question 1. b. Tabletop

+ Tabletop is a Game Show.

Question 2. TRUE.

+ Wesley Crusher is born in 2348 and Harry Kim is born in 2349, meaning that they have a 1 year age-gap.

Question 3. a. 77

Question 4. b. Star Trek Online

+ Wesley Crusher is the Emperor of the Terran Empire.

Question 5. 3.

Aqualad on Teen Titans, Cosmic Boy on Legion of Super Heroes and Ted Kord ( The Blue Beetle ) in the Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Happy Birthday Wil Wheaton!

[biblioflyer]

A cautious case for Star Peace

Earlier in the season I expressed dismay at the telegraphing of what I would consider to be a bad, even irresponsible war story featuring the Gorn in Strange New Worlds.

It may surprise the reader that after the season finale, I remain at Yellow Alert, but I see signs that my worst case scenario is not what is going to unfold. Spoilers after the jump.

For starters I will acknowledge there are apparently troubling comments about the intention behind the Gorn from the showrunners. Some of these comments are being taken out of context, because they don't fully rule out the idea of an accommodation with the Gorn, but they do have to first play out their role as series antagonists.

Many bits have been spilled over the idea of a villain who is genetically predisposed towards being incapable of empathy and the implication that, not unlike the Xenomorphs that the showrunners are explicitly borrowing from, there is ultimately no solution but a final one. A grim argument that even in a setting prefigured for idealism and the rejection of xenophobia and violence as being preferred, there are some gulfs that can't be bridged. Some peoples whose needs are so profoundly in conflict that there can be no lasting peace.

I think this episode is actually subverting that in not even all that subtle ways that many a web-pundit are missing or dismissing.

To recap, here are some blink or you'll miss it Chekov's phasers that I think will be firing if not in the season premiere then later on in the series.

Juvenile Gorn who are forming packs and cooperating instead of fighting to the death. This was a moderately significant plot point from the last time we saw the Gorn that probably got overshadowed by the episode's tragic ending.

In spite of his tough talk to April, later in the episode after being reunited with Batel, Pike wearily expresses a hope that maybe there's something everyone missed, some way of achieving a breakthrough.

The Gorn juvenile not harming Batel could be read a couple of ways. Either its just a way to telegraph her infection, or its another curious behavior. I honestly do not remember if the Gorn from season one was ever in a position to confront Hemmer and then back down. It seems like if the juveniles are known to fight to the death, its not unreasonable to assume they would normally view a host carrying eggs as competition.

Batel's rescue positions her for Chapel and M'Benga to "science the Bantha poodoo" out of the Gorn egg problem and in the process, learn something critical about the Gorn that might lead to a more peaceful coexistence. Some sort of pheromone that makes Humans read as friends not food, or even the potential to raise Gorn young with a different socialization, proving that heredity isn't destiny.

The abduction of the crew from the planet also seems significant for reasons beyond needing to set up a cliffhanger. This too will provide an opportunity to add complexity and nuance to the Gorn. Perhaps we'll learn they're not actually a single hat species and there are dissidents, pacifists, those who seek to live sustainably and manage their reproduction in a way that doesn't rely on coercion or the violation of others' right to live?

At least some of the Gorn's behavior is apparently tied to solar activity. Although its still squicky from a Doylist standpoint, a Watsonian excuse that external factors flipped the switch on the Gorn and make them go berserk does open the door to analogies to circumstantial hysteria in humans.

Bonus: There have been multiple episodes this season around the theme of biology not being destiny: Una's court marshal for being a closeted Illyrian and La'an carrying the weight of the name Noonien Singh.

Additionally there have been a couple of episodes about the struggle to maintain peace with the Klingons and overcome the trauma and paranoia that follows war (and often incites new ones.) This doesn't feel like the show to leave "nuke the site from orbit, its the only way to be sure" as its only option for dealing with the Gorn in perpetuity.

So there you have it, I'm cautiously optimistic that we could see a shift from inscrutable killing machines to fully developed civilization in the span of a season or two. Emphasis on the cautiously. This franchise has set conditions under which attempted genocide, narrowly averted, is the only way to resolve the conflict on far too many occasions.

[fyeahwebnovels]

hi, feel free to delete if this isnt appropriate! im an aspiring webnovel writer and i was wondering which platforms is best to post original works w lgbtq+ themes & how to get traction?

thanks so much for ur time and i hope this isnt too much trouble!!

opening this question up to followers as well--i'm not particularly good at the marketing side of things.

my personal experience is that there really are not good webnovel platforms; websites like royal road and scribblehub have content guidelines which i've found too restrictive to host my own writing, and the platforms themselves are built to encourage inhumanly fast update schedules. this is part of why they're overrun with power-level-up litrpg serials that update multiple times a week; their algorithms favor that kind of schedule.

as a result, i've defaulted to hosting my writing on my own website. i use neocities to host, which i generally recommend to anyone who doesn't mind learning a bit of html; their free tier is completely serviceable to host a simple text-based website, and their paid tier is leagues cheaper and less restrictive than any equivalent hosting you can buy off google or aws.

this means that my marketing is pretty much entirely done through social media, and again, i'm not particularly good at that. however, i will say, the absolute best thing you can do is network. i don't mean for financial gain, very genuinely, the absolute best thing for visibility in the creative world, in my experience, is to be in a social group of other creators who make similar things to you and constantly be hyping up each others' work. (this also means you get to look at your friends' cool indie art all the time and collaborate on projects, which is a bonus.)

i'm quite lucky in that i was already in a social circle of digital artists, videographers, and writers long before i started writing my own web serial, and finding that kind of social space isn't particularly easy. my main tips are: post your work in a way that welcomes social interaction (for example, respond to comments personally), comment on mutuals' work, and don't be afraid to send private messages to people you want to get to know better. if you don't have a private discord server already, making one is a great way to create closer connections with online friends you haven't spoken with privately much.

i'm also considering making a tumblr community in the future for webfiction authors to connect and network, so keep an eye out for that if that's something you'd benefit from.

and again: i don't have the best feedback for this, because my own stint doing web serial marketing has only been going on for four months, so if anyone else has more targeted & useful suggestions, sound off in the notes, please!

[web-novel-polls]

Favorite Web Novel Quotes Tournament Masterpost [Completed]

[Last Updated: July 31st, 2024 - please check the original post for updates]

Tournament Tag: #webnovel quotes tournament

Submissions - CLOSED

Quotes List

Bracket Size: 64 Contestants

Type: Single-Elimination 

Start: April 25th, 2024 

Expected End: July 31st, 2024

Posting Time: 12 pm CST (UTC-6) 

All Results: #wn quotes results

Tournament Status: 100% compete

Final Rankings

Winner:

“To me, the one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is you, and not the state of you.” - Heaven Official’s Blessing

Completed

Round 1

Group A: Thursday, April 25th-May 2nd

Group B: Monday, April 29th-May 6th

Group C: Friday, May 3rd-10th

Group D: Tuesday, May 7th-14th

Group E: Saturday, May 11th-18th

Group F: Thursday, May 16th-23rd

Group G: Tuesday, May 21st-28th

Group H: Saturday, May 25th-June 1st

Round 2

Group A: Monday, June 3rd-10th

Group B: Thursday, June 6th-13th

Group C: Tuesday, June 11th-18th

Group D: Saturday, June 15th-22nd

Round 3

Group A: Monday, June 24th-July 1st

Group B: Thursday, June 27th-July 4th

Quarterfinals: Saturday, July 5th-12th

Semifinals: Monday, July 15th-22nd

Match 61: Quote 17 (When humans ascend or fall, they are still human) vs. Quote 45 ("I, someone of no redeeming quality...")

Match 62: Quote 47 (Most Proficient at Lying) vs. Quote 16 (What Matters is You)

Finals: Wednesday, July 24th-31st

Match 63: Quote 17 (When humans ascend or fall, they are still human) vs. Quote 16 (What Matters is You)

Third Place: Quote 45 (“I, someone of no redeeming quality…”) vs. Quote 47 (Most Proficient at Lying)

Bonus Polls

MXTX: June 26th-July 3rd

Meatbun: July 1st-8th

Priest: July 4th-11th

DPA: July 7th-14th

ORV: July 8th-15th

[quincyhorst]

It's the Nº100 post on this account, and I want to celebrate it by sharing something special. Here's all the best images I could find of the Inazuma Season 3 DVD Box poster, a bonus item which I'm still searching for better pics of. Noneteless as a celebration I want to share what I've found so far :D

(Also, yes, 2/3 of these pictures are upscaled using Waifu2x, so some things will look wonky. If you want to see the original images without it, tell me and I'll post them too)

The above pic mainly focuses on the center part of the poster; but as you can see the left and right ones do not show on its fullest. I've found photos of both sides, though the quality is veeeery worse:

Like I've said, I'm still yet to find any decent picture of it, so this is all I have for now. But I hope it is a good start.

Also, if anyone's curious on researching by themselves... Be careful. Google images has this weird thing with japanese shopping products, where pictures of items in search results will lead to strange and VERY unrelated URLs. Some examples? The 1st pic was hosted on some site named "gokuburger.fr" (France?) , the 2nd in "rauquen.cl" (Chilean web domain) and the 3rd one in "Bodegas San Valero" (Zaragoza, Spain). Yeah, I have ZERO idea how those images got there. All I know is that I once clicked in a link similar to those and I got redirected with a page with a fake "Allow notifs" pop-up. I've managed to escape, but it is not worth the risk.

That's everything for now. Thank you all :D

[rosysugarr]

Another bonus of being in my 30s: I got to use web 1.0 and holy fuck guys the internet can be so much better than what it is now. And it literally WAS better for a while. Like the hellscape of 2.0 is so much more recent than you know and I really hope we manage to get at least a small pocket of web 1.0 going again with recent communities like neocities and cohost and other indie social networks and website hosting services. It would be. So nice. But the trick is, we need to get a bunch of people to do it at once. Like a new social network can't work if it's just you wandering over and making an account bc you need your friends there or there's no reason to bother. We gotta start making group neocities pacts and shit. Someone who can organize should organize a big group project to make a cluster of neocities sites or a webring like the good old days tbh.

[blubberquark]

How Not To Do A Podcast

Don't have a web site: You don't really need one is this day and age. People find your podcast on Spotify, or on Apple Podcasts, or on YouTube. If you put your episodes up on YouTube, don't need hosting or a domain or a home page!

Don't link to the RSS Feed: If you do have a web site, you can just not bother with a public RSS feed. People on Apple podcasts get your episodes from Apple. If you want to post the episodes to your Web site, just embed the mp3a in blog posts! Don't give the hoi polloi access to the RSS feed, or they might steal your content, or worse, drive up hosting costs by downloading all the mp3s at once!

Don't bother with show notes: Show notes limit your reach. They don't show up the same on YouTube and Spotify, and you can't embed images in a pinned comment. Even worse, show notes lead people away from your podcast or the app. Alternatively, treat show notes as required reading. If you must have them, this is the way to get the most out of your show notes. Refer to the show notes all the time, and tell our audience to just read or listen to the linked stuff. Don't bother excerpting or paraphrasing things from elsewhere on the Internet. People are on a PC, they can click on links! In the show notes, don't bother adding context either. When your listeners have listened to the episode, they will know what the links mean.

Talk about your editing process and audio setup: Did you just buy a new mic? Are you recording on your laptop microphone in a hotel room? Don't just apologise for the audio quality, tell your listeners that normally you would record on the same hardware that NPR uses for This American Life. Talk about how you bought a new Mac Studio Ultra with 128 GB of RAM for editing the pauses out, and that time you had to interrupt the interview because your guest opened the door to accept a package delivery.

Keep introductions to a minimum: Your listeners have listened to the previous 500 episodes in chronological order, so they know what your podcast is about and who is hosting it. Don't start your podcast episodes with the name of the podcast, or introductions where every host says "Hello, I am Alice" "And I am Bob. This is the Alice and Bob send cryptic messages podcast. Today we're going to discuss PGP." This stuff is lame. Just say "Hi, here we are again, how has your last week been?" or "We're back! Sooo..."

If you really have to introduce multiple speakers, just have one host name everybody. Instead of repeating what the podcast is and who is doing it every time, start the episode with frequently updated information like upcoming meet-ups, listener feedback about the episode before last, how to reach you on twitter, your new mastodon instance, and current Patreon goals.

Use .mp3, .aac, or .wma: As long as the bit rate is high enough, people won't notice. Your goal is to reach as many people as possible, so an old file format like WMA is the best. For audiophiles, also have a feed in FLAC format. In the past, 250MB episodes would have been annoying, but everybody listens on YouTube and Spotify anyway (they do the transcoding for you). If they don't, maybe the 250MB per hour will make them reconsider.

Episodes should least at least 80 minutes long: Sometimes time flies, sometimes you need a lot of time to get to the point. People love to listen to the Joe Rogan Experience, which is sometimes 3 hours long. If your guests have more to say, don't record a bonus episode, just ask yourself: What would Rogan do?

Chapter marks work against you: Chapter marks let listeners skip past the ads, but they also let them skip past the part where you announce the next listener meet-up, the new URL of the t-shirt store, and ways to contact you. It is of vital importance that in five years, people who listen to your podcast will be familiarised with the old twitter handle you used to have, the old coupon code for RAID: Shadow Legends that doesn't work any more, and the listener meet-up in downtown Mariupol.

Frequently upgrade your web site: Like I said, it's usually not worth having a web site. But if you do, you need to

keep it fresh.

To do this, you should frequently update the URL of your home page, the URLs of blog posts where users can listen to individual episodes in their browser, your commenting system, your domain name, and the character encoding of your transcripts.

Listeners love banter and personality: Don't read from a script, because that sounds lame and stilted. Don't even have an agenda or written notes. If you want to talk something out, do it live on air. If you talk to a co-host or a guest about the topic or the ground rules for the episode, then do that live on air, too. If you go off topic, or if you have to spend a minute googling something during an episode, if your dog barks, a host goes on a tangent or if there is a package delivery at the door, just say "we'll edit that part out" and then leave the whole thing in, or edit but leave in the bit where you say "we'll edit it out in post". That joke never gets old. Asking your co-hosts about the topic of today's episode gives your podcast personality, rich texture, and entertainment value. The key is to be your raw, unfiltered self. Anybody can read from a script, but only you can answer the door for an Amazon package.

Listeners love drama: If somebody sends you a mean tweet, don't ignore it and move on. Use it! Read out all the mean tweets on your podcast. Make them a regular feature. Ask your listeners whether they agree! They will shower you with sympathy and engagement. If you don't have enough twitter drama to go on, you can invite guests for drama: Get people from twitter onto your podcast. I know, it sounds like a threat when you have twitter beef with somebody and ask them onto your show where you can edit them and you have an audience that's on your side, but you're reasonable here. You can say "twitter is such a terrible format for this, let's hash it out somewhere more appropriate". In the best case, you win the twitter argument without actually having to record the episode. You can just say in your podcast they didn't want to debate you.

Don't record episode 0 or -1: Back in 2005, it was customary to record an "episode zero" as the first thing in your RSS feed. There was even a cool service (now defunct) that aggregated all every "episode zero" from feeds into a feed of upcoming podcasts. These days, you record a trailer for your podcast and that is inserted into feeds of other podcasts at Wondery, Tortoise Media, and Serial Productions. It's passé to have a 15 minute introduction to an upcoming podcast.

Similarly, it used to be customary to record one or more "negative" episodes where you just check out your recording equipment and get used to the process, figure out which segments and interview formats work. You're a professional though. You don't need to get used to hearing your own voice.

You can go the extra mile and scrub everything but the latest 5 episodes from the feed.