#weather says it's supposed to rain basically every day through the weekend but as long as there's no snow like last year...

[remcocoa]

Getting ready for O Gran Camiño

[bonshaquitalafawndreeah]

A bandwagoner’s ode to the Cubs

Let’s get one thing straight right away: I am absolutely not a sports fan. I hated sports most of my life because they made me feel excluded. I couldn’t catch or throw a ball or comprehend strategy. I was consistently picked last in gym class and then shunned by my classmates for making them lose a game of flag football. This made me a very bitter, non participatory person. I’m that basic betch who jokes about a football game interrupting the Beyoncé concert during the super bowl. I declare that I wish both teams could lose when the Bears play the Packers and I’m forced to watch. I don’t even join in at cookouts when people start playing bags. (And I’m sure by now you’re thinking, “wow, you must be fun at parties.”)

I am NOT a fan of sports, but I am a fan of the Chicago Cubs.

Or at least I’m something adjacent to being a fan. (I am somewhere in the “ballpark” if you will.) Is it fair to lump me in with people who bleed Cubbie Blue and can recite rosters from the 90’s? God no! I am a casual admirer at best and although I come from a long line of Cub fans I admittedly payed zero attention to the sport until the 2016 World Series. You could say I’m a bandwagoner but I’m even worse than that. Even after they won the first World Series in 108 years I was still not super interested in sitting through a game. It wasn’t until my husband dragged me to Wrigley under the guise of “spending a day together in the city” that I realized there’s something truly magical about the experience.

Maybe I also happened to be in a magical season of life. We were newlyweds and the World Series win coincided with our honeymoon. My husband wore a Cubs cap to every bar and restaurant and we were congratulated by every person we met. People who had never even been to Illinois were so happy and excited for us. I was buzzing with the kind of pride you feel when something newsworthy happens in your hometown.

I grew up two hours away from Chicago, but moved to the suburbs around 2016. During that chapter, it felt like the entire world was opening up for me and everything was exciting. I had just gotten the job I used to dream about and had coworkers that would quickly start to feel like family. On weekends David and I would take the train from Glen Ellyn to the city. As I sipped a coffee and watched the scenery roll by I couldn’t believe my luck. A friendless little girl from the boonies had found a little community she could thrive in, and it was all next door to one of the world’s greatest cities.

That first Cubs game felt like a fairy tale. I knew I would enjoy drinking beer and eating a hot dog, but I planned on being bored by the rest of it. I didn’t expect to immediately fall in love with the charm of Wrigleyville. Everyone in the stadium was twinkle-in-their-eyes friendly. The blooper reels were cute and funny. Anthony Rizzo stepped to the plate while “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift blasted and won my heart forever. I developed a genuine investment in the outcome of the game and cheered and groaned with gusto. I somehow got to watch them win that day and we jumped up and down and sang “go Cubs go” as though we had accomplished something incredible. As we left our seats I was grinning from ear to ear like a little kid. We stopped for drinks at the Cubbie Bear and I told David I had just accidentally discovered my favorite thing to do in Chicago.

Over the years we went to a few more games. Sometimes we went alone. Other times we brought David’s family. Once we dragged along a good friend who was moving across the country the next day, and another who had just finished an overnight shift. Once we went in early April and it was so cold and rainy that I bought a souvenir blanket for $50. I wore it around my shoulders like a cape in every place we stopped. For the very first time, I understood why people passionately love and defend their teams.

In 2019 we didn’t go to any games because my mental health took a nosedive. I was having panic attacks daily and for whatever reason they were most severe when I was in a car, or basically any place where I couldn’t step away “if I really needed to.” I was pretty scary to be around. I spent the summer going to therapy and sitting around at home waiting to snap out of it. The thought of surviving a train ride or a day in a packed stadium made me queasy.

But I always said that the first thing I wanted to do when I started feeling better was go back to Wrigley. I knew that this extra special era for the Cubs would be short-lived. The current team was really entertaining to watch. They had star power that would be hard to replace and they probably wouldn’t stick around forever. I could never love baseball for stats and numbers and performance metrics. I loved the feeling of joy that these players brought.

At the start of 2020 I was doing so much better and was really excited to get back out there. I couldn’t wait to do all the things that I had caused us to miss. And then, as you know... the rest of 2020 happened.

Going to a game was at the top of my summer 2021 bucket list. But work, birthdays, and family kept pushing it back. We were finally supposed to go to a game in mid-July and it was rained out and rescheduled for September.

And this past weekend the entire core of the Cubs was traded away to other teams. Never in a hundred million trillion years did I expect to be the person to care about this, but I’ve been in mourning all weekend.

For this fair-weather fan, Javy, KB, And Rizzo made sports feel approachable and fun. As someone who DOES NOT SPORT at all, I never believed that I deserved a place in that world, but I felt welcome in the little world they created. The absence of their personalities is going to hurt. A big part of me wonders If I’m better off leaving Wrigley behind me, a rose colored memory of being young and happy in my favorite city and believing that magical things can last forever.

I’m sure we’ll go back for a game again some day. But who knows who will be on the roster then? Or if we’ll have a baby in tow. It’ll be a far cry from stacking towers out of our empty beer cups, swooning over Kris Bryant, and knowing that you have all the time in the world to recreate the fun again and again.

So to wrap this thing up in a way that makes it all about meeeeeee...

The disbanding of this group feels deeply personal. Like I’m leaving behind a slightly more innocent chapter, where I could believe my city and my team were the very best and always would be. And just as they’re moving on to new and necessary adventures, my next chapter will likely be something much more realistic and adult.

But it was sure fun while it lasted.

[skiewrites]

it’s all downhill from here  - Chapter One

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe, Harry Potter (very loosely)

Rating: Teens and Up

Warnings: Some blood

Summary:

The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year is supposed to be one filled with excitement and mischief for every student at Hogwarts, even the first and second years who aren’t allowed to go down to the village.

Except of course, the group of heroes are involved, and nothing goes right for them.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111011/chapters/55296445

It was a Hogsmeade weekend.

These weekends were one of the most anticipated events during the Hogwarts year, something that did not surprise Time in the slightest. A chance to leave the castle and be away from the pressures of homework, exams and whatever drama was stirring was eagerly awaited by almost every student in the castle, even the first and second years enjoyed having the castle to themselves while the older students disappeared for the day.

So, Time was a little bit surprised to be waiting around for Twilight and Wild before they walked down as a group to meet the rest of their friends, Wild especially, since it’s going to be his first time going to the village. He didn’t want to go up to their dorms and rush them, but the longer that he waited the more he dreaded listening to Legend and Warriors moan on the walk down to the village about how long they took to meet with the rest of the group.

Time gave a small wave to both Lullaby and Sheik as they walked out of the portrait doorway, leaving Time to wait for another five minutes before Wild and Twilight walked down the stairs, along with Sidon, who was talking animatedly before he noticed Time.

“What took you guys so long?” Time asked as they started to walk down through the portrait and down to meet the others.

“Wild had a huge knot in his hair, something was stuck in it, and it took forever to convince him that he couldn’t go the village with it in, let alone the time it took to take it out,” Sidon said, his trademark smile never leaving his face.

“Something that wouldn’t be an issue if you got your hair cut for once!” Twilight muttered.

“No! I am not cutting my hair, and you can’t make me!” Wild almost yelled, causing a couple of the heads of the common room to turn to look at him. While it had become known that, yes, Wild could speak, it was still new for some people and they always looked very confused to see him talk.

“Then look after it, or one day I’ll take it off while you’re not looking.” Twilight teased, before having to judge out of the way of Wild’s swinging fist. “Jeeze pup, it was a joke.”

“It better be,” Wild had a feral look in his eye, and despite Twilight being the one in the group who could turn into an animal at will, it reminded that Wild was really the most animalistic person in their group. Not that they would change it about him, but it could be scary to have a reminder that Wild basically grew up in the woods by himself in everyday conversations.

“Well, I’ve got to go and meet Mipha, see you guys later!” Sidon disappeared very quickly after that, and Time did not miss the way that Sidon got surprised at Wild’s quick change of behaviour. While the rest of the group had friends outside of the group, himself with Sheik and Malon, Twilight was very close with Midna and some of the younger Gryffindors, Legend had Revio but seemed to be able to hold a conversation with anyone in the school, Warriors had his twin and Lana, Hyrule had Dawn and Aurora, Wind had Tetra and his group of ‘pirates’ as they liked to be known, Wild was not close to anyone, seemingly preferring to be alone. Sure, Sky only really seemed to hang out with his girlfriend Sun and Four was closer to a book than any living person (though Dot did make it very close), Wild was not as integrated into the Hogwarts social life, living up to his nickname.

People like Sidon did try and be friendly, and goddess’s know how many methods Flora had tried to help him open himself up to her or any other person who’s birthname was not Link, but nothing they tried seemed to work, much to her frustrations. Time could only consider the fact that he had even opened up to their group as a positive, and the fact that he was even talking would be considered a miracle in his eyes.

And yet, Wild seemed sad to watch Sidon leave the group, letting out a sigh and going quiet as they continued to walk down to the rest of the group, not even looking up until they were just outside the entrance hall.

“Well finally, what took you guys so long!” Warriors yelled at the group of Gryffindors as they approached the rest of their friends, all dressed in their winter clocks and their scarfs, all the colours of their respective houses, for while it was only October, the weather had not been nice to them this year, continuously raining and sometimes even hailing chunks of ice down on the students who had studies outside.

“You can’t say much, you and Legend have only been here for a minute before the others turned up,” Four said with his arms crossed over his blue and silver scarf as he looked up at the elder boy.

“That’s because it takes time to look this perfect,” Warriors said dismissively, gesturing to his immaculate robes, the Slytherin crest on his chest seeming to sparkle in the little daylight that could get through the windows, “And we weren’t late like they were!”

“They were late by only a minute, calm down,” Sky said, ever the mediator of the group.

“Can we please go now! The longer we spend here the less time we have to explore the village!” Hyrule said as he started walking out of the castle and towards Impa, who held a list of people who were allowed to leave the castle, mainly to stop first and second years from trying their luck at sneaking out of the castle with the main population. The rest of the group followed him, waving hi to Impa as she ticked them off the list and gestured to go on their way.

“You’ve already explored everything the village has to offer though,” Twilight pointed out, but the Ravenclaw shook his head.

“Not with Wild I haven’t,” Twilight tensed his jaw at that. Hyrule on his own exploring is a nightmare, the boy could get lost while following arrows to his desired location. Add in a Wild who could find his way into almost anything in the most unconventional way possible and took everything in the world as a challenge, then they were going to have a mess on their hands before the end of the day.

Whatever. If the pair of them got a detention because they got lost on their way to the shrieking shack and found themselves in the Ministry of Magic then that was on them, he wasn’t their mother.

The walk down to the village was uneventful, with the exception of Twilight having to keep a hand on the sleeves of Wild’s robes to stop him wondering off of the road and into the wilderness that surrounded the castle just because he was curious. They joked, laughed and complained about all the schoolwork they had to do when they got back in the evening.

“I feel kind of bad that we left Wind by himself,” Hyrule said as they just entered the village and joined the large crowd of students, Twilight quickly reassuring his hold on Wild before he ran off from the group before everyone was ready to split off.

“I don’t,” Legend said as someone bumped into him. “Oi! Watch where you’re going!” he shouted at the other person, frowning as the unknown person walked off like nothing had happened.

“He’s probably going to hang around with Tetra,” Sky suggested, most of the group agreeing with him before Four interrupted the nodding.

“No, Dot told me that their mother called them for a meeting, so none of them are coming to the village, or hanging out with Wind,” Four said, and Time frowned.

“A meeting? Lullaby said that she was going to meet us later on though,” Time muttered as he thought about it, before turning to Legend. “Did you know about this?”

For every boy named Link in the castle, there was a girl named Zelda, and then plus one. But while there being nine people called Link in the castle was a strange coincidence, the ten girls called Zelda was no mistake, as they all shared the same mother, Headmistress Hylia Hyrule, and Legend had the unfortunate draw in life to be the only brother to the ten girls. According to Legend, it was a family tradition to call all the females in the family Zelda because of how rare it was for a girl to be born in their line, even one girl was enough for a celebration. But ten girls? Unheard off. It was apparently a sign from the goddesses, but a sign of what Time had found himself to care less and less about as his respect for the goddesses dropped through the years.

“Pff, as if my mother cares enough about me to involve me in their little group,” Legend spat, “She’s always preferred the girls over me, all ten of them! But lately…” He paused for a second, thinking about his words before he continued, “Lately she’s been more and more secretive from me while her and the girls’ scheme. Fable wants to tell me but fears getting in trouble with Mother. I think it’s about Demise.”

The group went silent at the name. The past years had been hard on them, with each year the demon trying harder and harder to kill them all just because one of them was the fabled ‘Hero’ destined to kill him, and each year they only survived through the edge of their teeth, sometimes even less, the sun reflecting off of Wild’s silver scar tissue that made up a good portion of his face and the way that Time had to turn his head to physically see everything with only one eye.

And after what the hat said to the school at the beginning of the year just after the sorting ceremony had finished, well, it left the group dreading what was going to happen at the end of the year. It was not a nice feeling to know that the weight of everything rested on one of them and not know which one it would be, along with the whole school shooting them side glances

They had a plan for it though. They started the plan last year, and continued to perfect it as much as possible, each with their roles and responsibilities, and while it seemed almost fool proof, it still left Time uneasy and with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was the only person in the group to be considered an adult in the eyes of the Hylian law, and while the rest of the group were pretty mature for their age, it still unsettled Time at how serious they all were about the plan and how far they would go to make sure that Demise would not get what he desired.

“Geeze, what’s made you guys so serious? C’mon, today is supposed to be fun!” The group turned around quickly to look down at the Hufflepuff who should still be back at the castle.

“Wind! What are you doing here?” Hyrule asked the youngest in the group while the others got over the shock of seeing the second year in front of him, when he defiantly shouldn’t be, not with Impa guarding the entrance.

“Going to Hogsmeade with you guys of course!” Wind replied as he wrapped his yellow and black scarf tighter around his neck. “I am not staying in the castle when you guys are having all the run out here.”

“You were fine with it last year,” Legend pointed out as he poked him on the nose much to Wind’s annoyance.

“Yeah, but last year Wild was with me and we could explore the castle, which was still very new to me. But exploring boring on your own and we’ve found pretty much everything interesting to find anyway,” Wind said, leaving Time to frown slightly. He doubted that any one person could find everything in the castle, he was sure that there were places that even Hylia herself had not visited or even knew about. But then again, this was Wild and Wind exploring, where the former could get anywhere, and the latter wanted to document every single nook and cranny. Last year, Wind had began talking about plotting the castle’s layout on a single piece of paper with everything on it, and while the other boys last year had smiled and nodded along with Wind, now Time was actually believing that the boy could finish his project. He had almost every room placed on parchment now, it was the actual charming of the paper that he was working on. It would take at least another year by Time’s estimate, and that was if Wind didn’t try and convince someone else to help him with the charming of the map.

“How did you even leave the castle without any of the teachers noticing?” Sky asked as he fiddled with his scarf, not the traditional yellow and back one from his house but a white and blue, a handmade gift from his girlfriend.

“Oh, Hyrule showed me and Wild this passageway last year that lead right into the middle of the village. Pretty cool right?” Wind explained with a smile on his face, as if breaking the rules was just another day at Hogwarts, but to be fair on him, between them all, only one rule being broken in a day would make a record low for them.

“What? That exists? Why didn’t you show me?” Four cried, leaving Hyrule to wince.

“We’ve been there before, remember when we got lost in our first year? It just so happens that tunnel actually continues onwards to Hogsmeade, we just thought it caved in at some point.” Hyrule explained, but Four was still pouting at being left out.

“Still… Wind, what happens if one of the teachers find out you’re here?” Twilight asked him, and Wind only rolled his eyes at the question.

“First they’re gonna have to catch me, and I doubt that will happen with how many people are here today,” He did have a point, as the others took a look at their surroundings and saw only a sea of Hogwarts students, all wearing black robes with their house scarf, it being particularly cold for an October day.

“Fine, whatever. I’m not taking any responsibility for you though. If you get lost trying to get back to the castle then that’s on you, got it?” Time said pinching at his brow line. As the oldest in the group, he is often given the most blame for what the group does, which, fair, he does often take the lead during their misadventures, but it should be noted that it was never him that suggests the idea in the first place.

“Yes sir!” Wind saluted to him in a jokey manner, causing Time to let a smile out at the younger boy.

“Good. Now, I want to pop into the Happy Mask Shop, that guy owes me a favour and I’m hoping he can grab a hold of something for me for Ganondorf’s class, he’s working us to an early grave this year,” Time said, his smile staying on his face as the other boys groaned at the mere mention of their defence against the dark arts teacher.

“Isn’t he always, when he isn’t trying to kill us of course.” Warriors moaned.

“Maybe that’s one of the ways he is trying to kill us, through sheer boredom and painfully long homework essays.” Twilight suggested, which got a laugh out of the rest of the group.

They joked about the other ways that Ganon could be trying to kill them, trying to keep the spirit light-hearted and ridiculous despite the subject. Each of them had had run ins with the Professor in the last couple of years that almost ended with them dying, or worse. And of course, at the end of the year, there was little to no evidence to show that he tried to do any of those things, so Headmistress Hylia was content to keep the teacher on, even if stood for everything that she hated.

Time had wondered sometimes if that was on purpose. ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ sort of thing, but as time went on and more and more ‘coincidences’ happened, he began to think that she just spited each of the heroes and watched to see how long each of them would survive at the castle with one of Demise’s hight hand men having almost a free reign on everything that happened inside the castle’s walls.

“So, what’s the plan for everyone else? I’m sure that not everyone wants to follow me into the Happy Mask Shop,” Time asked, and he guessed correctly when most of the other group relaxed somewhat at the idea of not going into that particular store.

Out of everything in Hogsmeade, it was the most avoided place, even the Shrieking Shack got more traffic than the weird store that sat in between the pub and the weird pottery store that most of the group was banned from. It was very creepy to go into the place and see the many different masks watching and silently judging the customers as they walked past, and even the owner, who went by nothing but the Happy Mask Man, was eerie with his smile that never left his face and his eyes that never opened, like he was using the other masks to see his customers rather than using the ones that the Goddess was kind enough to give him. Time was glad to hear that the others didn’t want to go with him, his own interactions with masks that the store owned came back to mind, and he would much rather that the others stayed away from it.

But the guy owed him a couple of favours, and now was the best time to cash in on them.

“I want to show Wild the Shrieking Shack!” Hyrule said, causing Wild’s eyes to go wide with excitement, and it looked like he was about to vibrate from the sudden gain of energy.

“Yeah me too! I heard its haunted,” Warriors said as he side-eyed Legend, who predictably scoffed at his suggestion.

“It’s not haunted.” Legend responded with absolute certainty.

“Is too. It’s said that at the dead of night, when the moon is at its highest, you can hear the souls of the dead screaming to come back to life, and when you try and get close to the house, you are actually pulled away from the house by the spirit!” Warrior’s said, wiggling his fingers in front of Legend’s face, who leaned back to get away from them.

“Prove it.”

“Let’s go then,” Warriors suggested as he started to lead the way towards the ruined building, Wild and Hyrule hot on his heals while Legend followed along with slight reluctance in his step.

“Hold on Wind,” Twilight said as he held the boy back from following the others, “it’s probably better off if you stay in the village where its more crowded and people are less likely to recognise you.”

“Oh, okay. But you guys better show me next time!” Wind shouted to the other boys, and they all yelled their confirmations as they continued with their adventure.

“So what are we doing now?” Sky asked the remainder of the group.

“I need to pop into the bookstore, there was a book published last week on ancient Sheikah Runes and their particular uses and the owners said that they would stock it as soon as possible for me,” Four said, his eyes going purple at the mention of books and research and runes.

“I want to see Honeydukes! I’ve never been and I bet it’s magical!” Wind exclaimed.

“There’s not much particularly magical, it’s just the chocolate that charmed. I bet it would look exactly the same as any other muggle sweet shop.” Twilight explained to the excited preteen, but the excitement of going to a store filled with sugar.

“Muggles don’t really have them anymore. Oh! I also want to try a butterbeer,”

“Nice try buster, but you’re not yet thirteen. Just because you can sneak out the castle and get away with it does not mean you get to get away with underage drinking.” Time said, smiling as Wind’s face fell and went slightly red at the reprimand, before huffing and folding his arms.

“You do know we drink stronger stuff for breakfast back home, right?” Wind said. “So, are we going to the (bookstore) or are we going to wait around all day until we have to go back?” The rest of the group rolled their eyes at Wind’s question, but agreed nonetheless.

“I’ll go with Time to the Happy Mask Store, you guys go ahead, we’ll meet you guys at the Three Broomsticks, yeah?” Sky suggested, to which the rest of the group nodded. Twilight took the lead towards the bookshop, Four and Wind following along closely, leaving Sky and Time to watch them go ahead.

“You don’t have to come with me Sky, I know you get creeped out by him,” Time said, but he appreciated the effort nevertheless.

“It’s not safe enough to be by ourselves anymore, I don’t want to risk it,” Sky said, and he had Time there, “I’ve been having a weird feeling for the last couple of days now, I just don’t want someone get the drop on you just because you’re busy talking to a weird creepy guy who doesn’t know the meaning of a moral.”

“Okay then,” Time said, and lead the way towards the Happy Mask Shop.

[nightglider124]

Dickkory Week: Day 2

I liked writing this one... any excuse to write about pregnant Kory? I take. 

This hasn’t been proofread properly yet, as is always the story with ship week entries lmao.

Hope ya like it.

__________________________________

In-Laws

The downpour of rain continued to fall from the dark sky above, pelting everything in its path within the city.

Water flooded the streets, cars continuing to speed through and drench the sidewalks even more. 

Few people were around, besides the usual thugs and homeless that were huddled around low embered trash cans down quiet alleyways. 

Drops of water smeared across the glass of the car window and Kory sighed, peering out of it.

“I do not know if I will ever get used to Gotham…”

Dick smiled from his position in the driver’s seat and shifted his grip on the steering wheel so he could reach down and lace their fingers together.

“I don’t even think I am used to Gotham, babe.” He murmured, keeping his eyes on the road on account of the hazardous weather.

“I just wish it had more color… nicer streets and perhaps… not so much rain…” Kory told him, quietly.

“That’d be the day.” He paused and looked over at her, “How are you feeling tonight?”

“Nervous… I always am when we go and visit Bruce.”

He returned his focus to the road, “Why?”

Kory pulled a face that she knew Dick could see in his peripheral, “Even after all these years… I still do not think he is too… keen on me.”

“Babe, he loves you. You’re part of his family.”

She looked at the silver engagement and wedding rings that were wrapped around the same finger of her left hand.

“Not by his choice…” 

“Hey… c’mon, he was quite happy when I told him I was marrying you. And he didn’t object when given the chance at the wedding, did he?”

Kory took a deep breath, “No… apologies. I love Bruce like family… I just… worry that he does not.”

Dick smiled and turned his head towards her, “I know. It’s hard. He isn’t the most affectionate guy but he cares in his own ways.”

Nodding, Kory tried to shake the bout of insecurities she felt in her heart but not before she felt a bump and she groaned.

“Something up?”

She inclined her head and tiredly smirked, “I think she is also telling me to be calm…”

Dick grinned and as they pulled up to Wayne Manor, he reached over and placed a palm on his wife’s swollen belly, waiting to feel his baby kick from inside.

He received two bumps almost immediately which only brightened the smile he wore, “Hey little one… should mama listen to daddy when he says she is loved by grandpa Bruce? Gimme one kick for yes.”

Dick chuckled when a kick was given and he eyed his wife, “Well, the princess has spoken.”

Kory rolled her eyes but smiled, placing her hand over his atop of her stomach. Dick quickly reached through the window at the gates and buzzed for Alfred to let them pass which he did so straight away.

Once they pulled into the large driveway, Dick parked the car up and leaned down to kiss her stomach.

He pulled back and brushed his nose against Kory’s, “Ready to do this?”

With a tight smile, Kory nodded.

Dick got out first, using his coat as a shield from the onslaught of rain before he hurried over to Kory’s side and opened the door up, giving her a helping hand to get out.

Using his coat still, he covered them both as the couple ran to the front doors, already open with Alfred waiting to greet them.

“Thanks Al.” Dick huffed as they got into the foyer, pulling the coat away from their heads and shaking it down before hanging it by the door.

“I do believe the rain will not be letting up this evening.” Alfred sighed, eyeing the window with distaste,

“Such is life when it’s Gotham.” Dick shrugged, leaning in to give Alfred a brief yet firm hug, “He around yet or is he out?”

Alfred patted Dick’s back once before he replied, “He called to say he is on his way back now.”

With that, Alfred turned and smiled at Kory who was excitedly waiting to force another hug on the older gentleman, just as she always did.

“Miss Kory, you are looking radiant.” He told her as she threw her arms around his shoulders,

She snorted, “I do not feel radiant. I feel most like a whale. But, thank you, Alfred. It is lovely to see you again.”

Alfred patted her back and eyed her protruding belly briefly when pulling away, but Dick caught it and smirked.

“Guess what?” Dick paused, “Baby has started kicking since we last saw you. Want to feel?”

The sparkle in his eyes told Dick the truth that Alfred would never voice on account of being a ‘butler’ in his own eyes, despite Dick and Bruce thinking of him like blood, “Oh no… that is-”

Kory dramatically rolled her eyes and stepped forward, grasping Alfred’s hand and placing it on her belly.

They waited in silence for a few seconds before Alfred received a tiny bump against his hand; one that turned his expression to one of utter astonishment.

“Extraordinary… truly extraordinary.” Alfred gushed, before he stood back and took Kory’s coat from her to hang up beside her husband’s.

“Touching a pregnant stomach is deemed a form of luck on my home world; you need not be so hesitant, Alfred.” Kory explained, a grin toying at her lips,

He nodded, his smile one that could only be described as bashful. Dick laughed aloud before the two were led into the den by Alfred as they waited for Bruce to arrive home.

The billionaire by day, vigilante by night materialized from down in the cave after a short while, having swapped the cowl and cape for a smart shirt and pressed dress pants. 

He offered them one of his dazzling smiles that always reminded Kory of Dick’s boyish grin and she wondered if he’d picked it up from his adoptive father back in the early days of his youth.

Dick smirked and got up from the leather sofa they had been lounging on first, shaking Bruce’s hand and giving him an awkward half hug which ended with a casual slap on the back.

“Dick, glad you two could stay over this weekend. I wasn’t sure if you would when I saw the storm tonight.” Bruce said, releasing his son from his hold,

“We were already nearly here when it started so it was smarter to just come.” Dick told him, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

Kory slowly got to her feet, one hand supporting her belly as she rose from the sofa. She smoothed down the creases of her woolen, long sleeved bodycon dress; it was a forest green color that worked well to really emphasize her baby bump.

Bruce’s gaze fell on her and she could have sworn his expression softened as he crossed the space to greet her as well.

“Bruce… it is good to see you again.” She states, smiling brightly at her father in law.

He nodded and collected her into a polite hug, giving her cheek a kiss for good measure. 

“Hello Kory…” Bruce stepped back and his eyes fell to her belly, “How are you feeling lately?”

She lifted her shoulders, “Uh… she certainly keeps me alert…”

“Oh?”

Kory sighed and nodded, “Kicking. Just always kicking recently and I feel the need to blame Dick for that.”

Bruce smirked and the two of them ignored Dick’s weak protest from where he stood by Alfred now.

His eyes trailed upwards until he met her emerald orbs, “May I?”

Kory beamed at him, her heart warm at the interest he had been taking in connecting with his granddaughter.

“Of course… you need not ask.” She giggled, bringing the hand at his side to press against her tummy,

“Well… some women on Earth don’t like people always feeling their bellies.”

Kory smirked, “True but… I am not from Earth. Tamaranians deem it lucky every time someone touches their stomachs.”

Bruce nodded his head in intrigue, waiting patiently for hers and Dick’s child to give him some kind of response. And, after a minute or so, he was rewarded with a powerful bump directly under the palm of his hand.

His blue eyes widened and he slowly smiled from ear to ear, the true wonder of new life exciting all of them. 

“She is certainly an active little thing, isn’t she?” Bruce commented, patting Kory’s belly before removing his hand entirely,

“She is, indeed.”

“Only a couple more months to go, isn’t it?” 

Kory nodded and cradled her belly with both of her hands, an attempt to soothe her unborn daughter into a light slumber; just for a while so that she could relax a little more during dinner.

“I believe I shall miss being pregnant.” Kory admitted,

Bruce chuckled and threw a smirk in Dick’s direction, “I suppose you’ll just have to have another then, hm?” 

Dick choked on his tongue and a blush leaked across his cheeks as he stammered, “Uh… I-I don’t… I think we’ll be a little busy to…” 

Whilst her husband stumbled over himself, Bruce turned to Kory and gave her a secret wink only she could see, drawing an amused giggle from her.

“Right, let’s eat. Shall we?”

Alfred bobbed his head, “I’ll start preparing to bring it out, Master Bruce.”

“Thank you, Alfred.” 

With that, Bruce, Dick and Kory started to make their way towards the long dining table in the room just next door. 

Dick followed closely, falling in beside Kory and touching the small of her back, causing her to smile in content. His touch was a godsend; something her body and the baby had craved since the moment they discovered she was with child. She leaned back into his hand, appreciating the way his fingers rubbed circles against her cloth covered skin.

As they approached the dining table, Dick hurried ahead of his wife, pulling her chair out and taking her hand to help her sit down on it. She smiled and sweetly kissed his cheek, thankful to have married someone who was so protective and devoted to her basic well being.

He grinned back before he took the seat beside her.

The corners of Bruce’s lips lifted upward, silently proud of the way Dick had turned out. It made him feel like he had steered him right, despite his own conquests throughout his adult life, with only select women meaning something to him the way Kory meant something to Dick.

But, he did wonder if any woman had actually meant something to him like Kory meant something to Dick. Their sturdy relationship was something rare and special and he was genuinely very happy for his son, to have found something like that.

As Alfred served the dishes for the evening, conversation began to flow, the natural streak slowly starting to show itself. 

“So…” Bruce started, cutting into the meat on his plate, “How are the Titans?”

Dick smirked, “You mean… how is Damian doing as leader?”

Bruce shrugged, not wanting to show how obvious he was.

“He is doing extremely well. He has learned a lot from his time with the team… he is much more… patient and aware than when he first came to us.” Kory explained, lifting her fork full of chicken into her mouth,

Dick nodded and took a swig of his wine, “He’s definitely matured. I mean… 16 years old and he’s proving to be a very good leader. Hardly any complaints from the others.”

Bruce raised a dark brow, “But there are some.”

Kory stifled a smirk, “It would seem not everyone is a fan of his early morning training sessions.”

The head of the table paused, blinked in disbelief before he burst into laughter, “Well, I suppose that’s a fair reason not to be happy with him.”

Dick and Kory laughed alongside him, nodding their heads in agreement.

“Kory?” Bruce began, “Do you think you’ll return to your role of leader once you are settled with the little one?”

The Princess paused in her sipping from the glass of water and tilted her head to the side as she swallowed the mouthful, “I… am undecided… we are… still deciding what we wish to do in terms of the future.”

“Oh?”

Dick cleared his throat and his cerulean gaze fell on his former mentor, “Well… we were considering leaving Damian as the team’s leader… y’know… permanently.”

Bruce’s brows shot to his hairline, “Really?”

Sighing, Dick briefly dragged his fingers through his hair, “We need to pull back… maybe not forever but… our daughter is gonna need our focus. I’m working on arranging a roster so that I’m not always away from home as well. We’re… really taking this seriously.”

“We never want her to feel like she missed one of us whilst growing up…” Kory murmured, pattering her fingers against her belly in a moment of playfulness.

Bruce took a long moment before he nodded earnestly, “That sounds like a smart idea, you two.”

Kory smiled and glanced in Dick’s direction as he clasped her knee beneath the table, “Thanks.”

“So, I’m assuming you don’t want to come along for the secondary patrol later tonight.” 

Dick lifted his head, “Uh… I didn’t say that. As long as it doesn’t go past midnight, I’m permitted to go with.”

“Permitted?”

Kory smirked into her food as Dick chuckled, “Didn’t you know, Bruce? Kory makes all the final decisions.”

Bruce smiled, “She is the more intelligent one so that makes sense.”

“Hey!” 

Kory burst into a fit of giggles, taking another gulp of water from her glass. She felt her cheeks grow rosy from the banter that was being shared around the table and slowly, the walls that seemed to go up whenever she came to Gotham started to crack; just a little. 

She returned to slicing up the succulent chicken breast that sat on her plate, popping a piece into her mouth and allowing the flavors to dance across her tongue. 

“So, Kory… will you be visiting your parents on Tamaran closer to your due date?” Bruce asked, making gentle conversation,

Kory froze in her seat, her body going rigid at the question, despite Bruce’s complete obliviousness to the elephant in the room. She realized that Dick had never told his father about her own lack of family members; with most of them having perished years prior.

“Uh-” Dick made to save her from explaining but Kory held a hand up, stopping him. She felt a need in her heart to be honest and direct with her personal life. There was a constant feeling that dwelled in the pit of her stomach that Bruce merely tolerated her and that he barely knew anything about her, despite being his daughter in law for the past 2 years. 

But, she wanted him to know all about her and she wanted to share things with him; to have a closeness with her father by marriage that she did not necessarily have with her biological father.

Bruce had paused in eating, sensing that he had erred somewhere in his question.

Kory swallowed the mouthful of poultry and gently dabbed her lips, careful not to smear the lipstick she wore. 

“Unfortunately… my parents are deceased.”

Realization suddenly dawned on Bruce and his shoulders sagged in obvious sympathy and understanding for the woman sat at his table, “Oh… I’m sorry, Kory.”

She offered him a tight lipped smile and shook her head, “Do not be. It was… a long time ago…” She paused, considering how they treated her when she was alive and what she had endured at the hands of her parents, using her to barter for peace on their world, “Besides… they were not… the nicest of people.”

Her father in law stared at her for a long stretch of time, as if mulling over things in his head before he gave her a gentle smile, one that revealed his own pain from a young age. 

She knew that they were all orphans in truth, the three of them sat at the oak wood table that lined the middle of the room. She knew about Dick’s parents and then she later learned of Bruce’s origin as well, which was no less saddening than hers or Dick’s.

“It doesn’t make it much easier… whether they are good or bad people. It still hurts.”

Kory eyed him and felt a lump in her throat. She nodded in agreement, “No. It does not.”

She felt his hand cover hers, gently against the surface of the table and she looked up to hold his stare to which he offered her the softest smile she thought she had ever seen on him,

“Well… you know you’ve got us, Kory. You’ve always got a place here, in this family.”

Kory felt tears prick the back of her eyes but she refused her emotions for once. Her smile trembled as her heart felt so full before she nodded back to him, understanding that Dick had been right about what Bruce supposedly thought of her after all this time.

“Thank you, Bruce.”

[svtts]

camp leader!jae x camp leader!fem reader

→ category: angst/fluff

→ topic: you and jae had been best friends since your first year at camp when you were five. however, you'd both caught feelings for eachother and your first summer being camp leaders seemed to aid in getting you together.

→ warnings: none

i

summer 2019! the year you’d finally be a camp leader instead of a camper. everything was so exciting, you’d trained all year round for this.

there were ten camp leaders, five female and five male. lucky for you, you were the leader of the bear-cub girl group, which consisted of five girls, all aged 7-14 and you loved them.

a trait that you had acquired after endless years at camp was being competitive, the five girls being equally as competitive as you. especially against bear-cub boy group leader, jae. i mean, it wasn’t your fault that he always seemed to do well in everything effortlessly!

[♫] love by lana del rey

ii

—‘the world is yours and you can’t refuse it.’ 

the constant teasing, small yet noticeable skinship and giggles from both of you made it pretty damn obvious you were into eachother.

almost every camper, leader and parent could see the chemistry between the both of you. however, you were both too dense to realise.

you’d gotten up promptly, getting ready before sliding your beat-up doc martens on and strolling out of your shared hut, with the other female leaders.

jae was standing on the porch, as he always does, waiting for you.

‘good morning sunshine.’ he says, poking your side as you laugh lightly.

‘good morning jae.’ you tell him as you head to the two identical bear-cub huts opposite eachother, discussing the plan for the day.

‘rise and shine girlies.’ you shouted, knocking on the door lightly as jae said the same, swapping girlies with uglies instead. ‘fifteen minutes until breakfast.’

you plopped down next to jae on the grass outside the huts. as he lied down, the sun reflected on his fair skin, making his plump pink lips highlighted. you studied his face before he spoke out.

‘are you wearing suncream? it’s already warm and you’ll get burnt soon.’ he says, opening his eyes to look at you. he looked at you closely, drawing your features with his eyes, although he wanted to run his fingers along your cheeks. 

‘i knew there was something i forgot.’ you cursed silently, standing up.

‘do you have some?’ he questioned, leaning up.

‘i should.’ you answer him.

‘you’re so dumb, how can someone as pale as you forget to put suncream on.’ he laughs and you pout, kicking him lightly.

‘why can’t they see that they’re basically in love?’ eunsol said, peeking out of the window, one of the other girls next to her, as they cooed at jae and you.

‘we should get them to date.’ the older one, yeri, suggested. ‘i’m sure the boys would help us.’

[♫] brooklyn baby by lana del rey

iii

—‘i think i’m too cool to know you, you say i��m like the ice i freeze.’ 

as you rushed into the canteen, freshly covered in factor 40 suncream, you scan the hall for jae and the ten kids.

it doesn’t take long before you hear his loud yet, cute laugh. making your way to the back table where all of them are seated, a space left next to jae for you.

‘look! here’s a sun-protected _______.’ jae says, the ten kids all laughing lightly.

‘hey! i just wanted to make sure you were all awake!’ you exclaimed, looking at the five girls that were eating and whispering to the other boys.

‘i got your food.’ jae tells you, giving you your usual breakfast, before continuing to eat his.

‘thank you.’ you say, beginning to eat. ‘why are they all whispering so much today?’

‘i have no idea. hey! are you keeping secrets from us?’ jae pouted and a small smile played on your lips as you watched him.

ever since you were young, you’d be coming to summer camp. you and jae met on your first year due to being in the same group and ever since you’d be best friends; all through your early teenage years, to training and getting qualifications to now.

‘see.’ the older girl whispered to the older boy, both of them coming up with a plan to get the both of you together.

‘i’ll talk to jae, you talk to ______. maybe we can get one of them to admit to us that they like eachother.’ he suggests and she nods before telling the others.

after a silly breakfast, as jae began to joke with the smallest camper, asking her to do his hair as she shook her head laughing.

‘den building huh?’ you said, walking next to jae and one of the younger boys.

‘ah! we’re gonna be so good at this!’ jae squeals enthusiastically, high fiving the boy at your side.

‘hey! we’re supposed to be a whole team.’ you whine and jae messes up your hair playfully.

‘girls vs. boys.’ he says as you begin to enter the woods, keeping a count on the kids you have with you.

‘i mean, if you want to play like that.’ you shrug, walking faster than jae, grabbing the smaller girls hand. ‘pick a spot for us to make dens missy.’

the littlest waddles to a few trees, many logs and leaves on the floor near them. ‘here!’

‘so, we’ll have here and, you can have the ones parallel to us.’ you offer to boys.

‘perfect!’ one of the five boys says enthusiastically.

‘ok, we have forty-five minutes. starting,’ jae pauses momentarily to look at his phone. ‘now!’

immediately, a group meeting is called where the girls decide that you and the oldest, yeri, will walk around looking for branches and logs big enough, the middle three, chaeyoung, eunsol and jungeun, with work on constructing it and the youngest, haejin , will pick flowers from the middle of the two dens for decoration.

‘jae, are you alright to stay here whilst we gather some stuff.’ you ask, and he nods pointing finger guns at you whilst winking.

you lightly blush at his foolishness before yeri grabs your hand, dragging you into the he woods.

‘so, jae?’ she wiggles her eyebrows.

‘what do you mean?’ you answer as you bend over to brush some leaves off a log.

‘i mean, it’s pretty obvious you like him.’ she spills out and you pause.

‘is it that obvious?’ you say, looking up at her as she laughs and nods. ‘i mean, it’s just the little things, like the caring for me and the play-fullness and the-‘

‘as much as i would adore to hear you awe over jae, we need to get a plan in action.’ she says.

‘no we do not.’ you answer back, picking up a log as she copies. grabbing a few extra as well.

‘come on! you can’t just hide behind your feelings. live a little!’ she suggests and you shake your head.

‘i’m pretty sure i don’t want to get humiliated by being turnt down by my colleague and best friend.’ you tell her as you both begin to head back.

‘oh my gosh, _______, you’re so dense! he likes you too! it’s so obvious.’ she tells you exaggeratedly.

‘yeah and pigs can fly.’ you say before the conversation ends as you arrive back at the den building area. you can’t help but feeling on edge, now she knows, who’s to say she won’t tell the girls, who will tell the boys, who will tell jae.

you push it to the back of your head as you begin to help construct the den, jae now gone off with the oldest of his group to gather supplies.

[♫] love by lana del rey

iv

—‘it’s enough just to make you feel crazy, sometimes.’ 

it had been three weeks since your conversation with the yeri, and so far nothing had changed. jae had still be the same, however he seemed to touch you and hug you a lot more.

everyday was eventful and fun, you were by far having the best summer of your life. the good thing is, as you had a permanent job here, you’d stay here all year round.

the camp opened on the weekend near halloween however, the activities where completely different, ranging from ghost hunts to pumpkin carving.

once the children left, in two and a half weeks, you’d be moving around the huts and cleaning, fixing up the activity huts, checking the quality of all the equipment.

any lonely person would find that tedious and annoying however, jae would be with you the whole time and you can’t help but look forward to it.

as much as you hated to be adhering to the ‘best friend to lovers’ cliche, you were completely head over heels for jae. he made the most boring thing into the funnest, most exciting thing ever by only cracking a few jokes or imaging something extravagant or adventurous.

his cute laugh was something you lived for, it sounded like music to your ears and his voice. his voice was angelic whenever he sung. he only really sung when he’d whip out his guitar at the last campfire of the summer. but, you couldn’t help but get excited thinking about him singing in two weeks time.

your crush was making you feel crazy, making you go insane with love.

v

today, all your plans were ruined when it began to rain as you arrived at the lake. luckily, you and jae had planned for when the weather was rough.

all twelve of you had rushed back to camp, and huddled up in the boys hut.

‘we should tell ghost stories!’ one of the boys suggested as you felt a small pull on your shorts. you look down to see the haejin , looking quite distraught.

‘what’s wrong? hey, don’t cry.’ you say, bending down to pull her into a hug.

‘i left my teddy bear by the lake.’ she stutters.

‘hey, i can go and get it now! we’ll get him back.’ you tell her as you stroke her arm, calmly.

one of the girls takes the youngest, distracting her with the boys as they do silly tricks.

‘what’s happened?’ jae says quietly behind you, his breath on your neck. you can’t help but wonder, what would it feel like to have his lips on your neck?

quickly, you snap out of your mini trance and turn around to him. ‘she left her teddy by the lake, i’m gonna run and grab it.’

‘are you sure? it’s really bad weather and you could get hurt or lost.’ he says, worry laced in every word.

‘i promise you i’ll be fine.’ you reassure him but, he doesn’t look convinced. there’s a moment where jae wishes he kissed your cheek then instead, it passed and you pulled your coat on and rushed out of the door.

jae tried his best to be his normal, funny and entertaining self as he worried about you however, the ten kids could see straight through him.

‘we all know you like _______.’ chaeyoung says and jae looks at the oldest boy.

‘pffft, no i don’t.’ he tried to deny.

‘yeah right, so if _______ was to date,’ she pauses. ‘baekhyun from woodpecker, you’d be totally fine with it?’ these children knew how to get what they wanted, and they were doing a really good job at it.

‘i mean no, she’s free to date who she wants right?’ jae says, biting his lip and looking away from the ten.

‘so if they cuddled up at the campfire, and always kissed,’ chaeyoung began to taunt.

‘ok no. that won’t happen, she’s not even close with baekhyun. and plus, i won’t let that happen.’ jae blurts out.

‘date already!’ one of the boys giggles whilst the others fake gag.

‘i don’t know.’ jae answers back.

‘she literally told me she likes you! just hurry up so we can see you two days before we leave!’ yeri strops.

‘she did?’ jae questioned, and they all sigh.

‘yes.’ she answers blankly as if to say duh jae stop being so dense. jae smiles to himself at the thought of you being his girlfriend, being able to hold you, kiss you, call you his.

soon enough half an hour has gone by and you’re still not back, to make matters worse it had begun to thunder as well.

jae was getting increasingly worried, fiddling with his fingers, trying to distract himself with playing monopoly with the kids.

he’d finally reached for his phone pulling it out and discovering yours in his pocket as well. damn you, jae, always looking after her stuff.

‘guys i’m going to call chan, sit tight.’ he tells the ten as he heads outside onto the porch briefly, the kids all occupied playing the game, or at least trying.

‘chan, can you hear me?’ jae says, he has no idea whether the weather would affect the connection between the phones.

‘jae, yeah. what’s up?’ he answers almost instantly.

‘is there a chance you can watch my lot, _____ has gone into the woods to get a lost toy and she hasn’t come back yet.’ jae rushes.

‘i’m in the canteen with my lot, bring them over to me and i’ll watch them.’ he answers and jae thanks him before getting the children into their coats and rushing to the canteen.

[♫] im with you by vance joy

vi

— ‘you looked at me and said, baby this rain changes everything.’

as soon as the ten kids are dropped off with chan and jihyo, the leaders of the crocodile group, jae sprints towards the lake.

every single bad scenario runs through his head, it was muddy and the rain could easily batter someone as small and fragile as you.

‘______!’ he shouts, as he wipes his glasses. he recalls what you were wearing, a pair of shorts, your dark blue camp leader top, identical to his and a matching dark blue raincoat.

as he approaches the side of the lake by the shelter, he’s had to wipe his glasses multiple times and he was soaked through.

‘_______!’ he tries again. he peeks into the small shelter and his heart suddenly races. your cuddled in the corner, desperately trying to warm yourself up, your legs covered in mud.

‘_____, oh my god.’ he quickly runs to you, pulling you into his arms, feeling your cold damp skin against his warm skin.

‘i’m sorry, i tripped and i thought i’d wait until the storm passed, but then i started to get really cold and-‘

before you can continue rambling, a soft pair of lips land on yours. it feels like every bit of cold nibbling at you had warmed up, and the sound of the rain had stopped. you both pulled away to breathe as he admires your face.

‘o-oh.’ you stuttered. he laughs lightly, helping you stand up.

‘please be careful, i was so worried, you’re freezing cold and wet, you could’ve died.’ he exclaims.

‘maybe a slight over exaggeration but, i’m fine jae, really.’ you tell him, but he shakes his head. he turns before grabbing the teddy bear that you had collected and placed next to you on the ground.

‘i’m going to call chan, then we’ll head back to camp.’ jae says, before he grabs his phone out of his pocket with one hand, using his other hand to wrap around your waist, pulling into his arms.

‘i’ve got her. we’re heading back now, we might need first aid.’ he says, as you look up at him. can you believe you just kissed him? his lips were just on yours. holy shit.

‘please be careful. i’m not letting you go out alone again.’ jae repeats, as you both venture out into the rain and wind.

‘if it wasn’t raining then i would have been perfectly fine.’ you argue.

‘but it is raining and it is windy.’ jae answers back and you roll your eyes. concentrating on walking back as jae slips his hand into yours.

this was nothing new to you, he seemed to do this a lot, but something about this time it seemed so much more reassuring and comforting. you state at your intertwined hands before looking up at him.

jae began to rush a bit as he noticed you shivering slightly. as soon as he could he would make you his girlfriend, but he wanted to prioritise making sure you’re fine.

it began to rain even harder as you enter the canteen. despite the peaceful jog-walk you’d just had with jae, your legs were still covered in mud and your were completely drenched, jae not far off being drenched as well.

‘_______!’ the kids scream all running towards you. you smile at them, trying to convince them that your head isn’t all over the place.

‘here! this is for you.’ you answer, pulling the teddy bear out of the inside of your coat, and placing it in haejin a petite hands.

‘thank you!’ she squeals then begins to tell her teddy bear off for ‘wondering away.’

‘_______, are you okay?’ jihyo says, she seemed concerned as chan distracted the kids with a crappy scooby-doo movie.

'i'm fine, just a bit cold.' you answer, jae raising his eyebrow at you.

'i'll call siwon, tell him you need to take the afternoon off.' jihyo says.

'i'm completely fine. i promise you.' the thought of siwon, your boss, finding out you were injured for such stupid reason made you anxious.

before you can detest anymore, jihyo is across the room on the phone and jae is trying convince you that you need the rest of today off, plus it's only a few hours.

'siwon is coming now.' jihyo says and you grab jaes hands, fiddling with his fingers, a habit you had acquired after numerous movie night with the kids,meal times, quiz nights etc.

'you're basically siwons favourite leader ________, i'm sure he'll be more concerned than mad.' jihyo tells you and you shake your head.

[♫] young and beautiful by lana del rey

vii —'he's my sun, he makes me shine, like diamonds.' young and beautiful by lana del rey

as suspected, siwon was completely worried and not the tiniest bit mad. he understood why you went into the woods and reassured you, much to jaes dislike, that he would do the same.

'take the next few hours off, come back around 7 for dinner, alright?' siwon says. 'and also it was about time you two dated.' his eyes flicker to your hands and you blush deeply and jae laughs.

'make sure to look after her please jae. jihyo, are you and chan okay with watching the bear-cubs, i'll happily stay as well.' siwon asks. 'jae, go and take _______ to get cleaned up.'

there was a mutual element of trust between jae, siwon and you. siwon knew you were best friends, as you both had been when he was a camp leader for you, he knows you two very well and knows that you both care for eachother deeply.

jae nods and instantly you're both rushing to the girls cabin, where you let jae in. he'd been in here millions of times before, there was no ban on girl leaders and boy leaders being in eachothers rooms as siwon knew you wouldn't doing dirty things at a place like this.

'first shower and clean all the mud off your legs,' jae instructs, placing himself down on the bed. you obeyed, grabbing some new clothes out of your wardrobe.

after fourty minutes, you'd successfully showered, gotten changed and refreshed. now jae was concerned about the developing bruise on your leg.

'what am i gonna do with you,' he sighs.

'it doesn't hurt, just let it be for a bit.' you says and he nods his head. 'so uh.'

'hmm?' he says, looking at you. barefaced you looked so incredibly beautiful and jae just wanted to make sure you knew.

'the kiss...' you start.

'i meant it. i obviously wanted to do it in a more romantic situation but, i just had the overwhelming feeling when i saw you there.' he brings to ramble.

'it was perfect jae.' you tell him, you were afraid he meant have regretted it or not meant it.

he signals for you to come over to him and you stand between his legs as he continues to talk. he doubts whether it was really perfect, i mean you were in the middle of the storm, freezing your asses off.

'we have three more hours right? we can take my car and go to town.' he suggests. you nod before he slings the key out of his pocket. 'we're gonna have to be quick, they might catch us.'

[♫] what you know by two door cinema club (i 100% recommend you listen to this whilst you read this part)

viii —'and i can tell just what you want, you don't want to be alone.' 

quickly, you scan the outside, the rain had died down slightly and resorted to a wet drizzle, the sun now beginning to shine, there was no one in sight as you closed the door behind you both.

before you can process what's happening, jae is grabbing your hand and you're both running to the staff car park.

once you spot his car, he's unlocked it and you're both sliding in to your seats before buckling your seatbelts and jae steps on the gas, zooming out of the car park.

'lets get it!' he shouts, as you shake your head in shame.

switching on the radio, you both laugh and talk as jae's hand sits comfortably on your thigh. everything was perfect, you were laughing and joking around, driving in the now emerging sunshine, jaes hand resting with your hand on top of his comfortably.

when you began to approach the town, which was just around the lake, jae pulled over by the side of the lake. it was exceptionally beautiful now, the storm had passed and left a glare on everything, that caught the light often and made you admire it.

'so,' jae says, as you make your way around the car and to his side, where he's closest to the shore. he brings his arms tightly around your waist, as yours find their way to his shoulders.

'this seems like a nicer place, to ask you to be my girlfriend.' he laughs lightly and you smile, heat rising into your cheeks. 'so, _______, will you be my girlfriend?'

'of course.' you reply, a smile dancing on your lips. you pull his head down so your lips can meet his.

this kiss had x1000 more feelings than the one before, every inch of love that's been trapped inside is finally free and swirling around the both of you.

jae feels like he's on cloud 9, your lips are so soft, and taste like cherries. he feels complete, every time he didn't kiss you feels like this kiss has made up for it.

once you pull away, to breathe, jae laughs lightly.

'i've liked you for so long but, i didn't think you liked me back.' you start, as he kisses your cheek, he kisses everywhere he's wanted to. your cheek, your jawline, your neck, your nose.

'how long?' he says, pulling away from a particularly long kiss on your neck.

'since we started leader training, last year.' you finished, your hands running through his hair.

'so, i could've kissed you a whole year ago?' he says, almost in disbelief.

'you could've.' you say, laughing lightly.

'well, i wish i told you earlier.' he sighs, 'but, i'm gonna make up for all the missed kisses now.'

the next three hours were full of laughs, kisses and visiting all the places in town that you'd never seen before.

[♫]apocalypse by cigarettes after sex

xi

—'your lips, my lips, apocalypse.' 

as it approached 6:45, you both got back into the car after having the best time of your lives. the sun shone peacefully, as you drove back to camp.

you peered out of the window, admiring the view of the lake as the sun reflected on it perfectly. jaes hand was securely on your thigh, as you both sing the lyrics to the song on the radio.

finally you make it back to camp, parking the car and both getting out. jae leans against the car watching you as you get out, admiring all your features.

you both enter camp, incredibly happy and excited to see the ten kids that you left with jihyo, siwon and chan.

as you enter the canteen, all eyes are on you both, before haejin, the youngest, shouts.

'______! jae!' she squeals getting out of her seat and running toward you both whilst the other nine all do the same. you smile before accepting the smallest into your arms.

'i missed you so much!' she says, as she shows a cute little pout. the canteen has gone back to its normal level of chatter.

'we were only gone for a few hours.' you say.

'the most boring few hours of my life.' one of the boys adds. both of you laugh before you scoop haejin into your arms, jae in front of you talking to the eldest boy and girl.

'i did it.' jae said to the two.

'finally!' they cheer, as all the kids sit down on the table. jae sitting opposite you as you sit with haejin on one side of you, eunsol on the other side.

the table erupts into chatter, the kids expressing their disgust to the boring few hours.

'well, tomorrow we'll do something so fun that it'll make you forget about your afternoon.' you suggest and they all reply enthusiastic responses.

'we're gonna go and grab our food, are you guys ok here?' jae asks and they all nod, most of them busy eating whilst the others talk about playing games.

you both go up to the counter, where the rest of the leaders are getting served.

'______, is that a..' yukhei starts, a hint of sarcasm on his voice. 'a vampire bite?'

confused you look to where he's pointing, and a purple mark is on your neck. jae giggles lightly as the other leaders start to jump on the joke, jae now getting food for the both of you.

'hmm, jae? what do you think? it could be a spider bite.' lisa suggests and you shake your head, pulling your hair to cover the hickey.

jae comes up behind you, wrapping one hand around your waist, 'i don't know? i don't think i spider bite would look like that.' he continues on with the joke. the leaders all laugh before scurrying off to their tables.

'what if one of the little ones saw this?' you whisper and you walk back to the table, his hand still around your waist as he'd already put the food on the table earlier.

'it's a mosquito bite as far as they're concerned.' he whispers back, as you reach the table and sit in your seat.

[♫] wonderwall by oasis

x —'hot summer nights, mid-july, when you and i were forever wild.' 

two weeks had passed, the best summer of your life so far was almost done. you couldn't help but pout as you walked with your group to the bonfire.

this was the annual bonfire, it had been happening ever since jae and you had been coming here at five years old.

'hey! why do you look so pouty?' one of the boys said, making jae, who was just in front of you, guitar in his back and his hand in haejins, turn around to you.

'it's just sad because, you guys leave tomorrow and i'll miss you all.' you say, looking at them. you'd gotten really close to the ten kids and hate to admit that it's going to be quiet and boring without them.

'we'll come back for the halloween and easter and next summer!' eunsol tells you and you laugh, nodding.

as you found your area around the campfire, all the kids settled down, you and jae sitting beside them.

the bonfire was regulated by siwon, leeteuk and donghae. the five different groups had areas to sit in, purely so that the kids didn't get hurt by running around wildly between seats.

jae cheekily slipped his arm around your waist as you hummed in content, feeling the warmth of the fire in your face.

'you're beautiful.' he says to you and immediately a deep red blush had spread across your cheeks.

'you guys are so cute.' yeri cooed, disturbing the small moment. nervously, you pull your hair behind your ear.

jae stayed cuddled to your side whilst siwon and the rest of the supreme leaders did their speeches, highlighted the best and worst moments of this summer.

'now, jae and brian.' siwon turns around, and everyone's attention is turned to the two of you as well as some diverted to brian. 'are gonna play guitar.'

'right, yeah.' he giggles almost nervously but excitedly as he grabs his guitar.

'think of some songs guys.' siwon says as you move out of jaes way. jihyo calling you over to them as the bonfire had died down and the kids were aloud to move areas.

'i'm going over to jihyo, ok?' you tell jae.

'ok babe.' he answers as he works on tuning his guitar. he looks up at you, pouting his lips and you give him a quick kiss before running over to jihyo.

'he loves you so much.' jihyo starts, as haejin finds her way onto your lap, obviously sleepy.

'i do as well.' you answer as you glance over at jae, to find him already looking over you, then winking at you before talking to chan and brian who were sitting next to him.

'i'm gonna request wonderwall.' she says.

'oh yeah, that's a good one.' you say as you try to brainstorm for songs.

almost fifteen minutes later, a song had finally been decided and it was jihyos suggestion.

you watched closely, as jae concentrated on his guitar, his glasses slipping down his nose slightly as the fire highlighted his features perfectly.

'five, six, seven, eight.' brian said before they both began to play their guitars. as soon as jae began to sing you felt like you were in heaven.

his voice was perfectly smooth and sexy, you felt amazed not only by your boyfriends voice but how easily he could harmonise with brian.

i don't believe that anybody, feels the way i do about you now

he sung so effortlessly, your eyes locked with his as the words left his lips. as they glided into the chorus, everyone began to sing with them however, jaes eye only went between you and the guitar throughout the whole song.

you're gonna be the one that saves me

the song finishes, everyone cheering and clapping before edging them on to perform more.

as they began to sing do i wanna know? haejin falls asleep against your chest and you coo at the sight as jihyo giggles as well.

'she's so cute, oh my god.' jihyo gushes, as some of the campers begin to sing along with your boyfriend and brian.

when you turn to look at jae, his eyes are already glued to you, as you mouth to him 'she's fallen asleep' and he awes at her as well.

after forty-five minutes of singing songs and enjoying your last night together, it comes to an end. as much as he hated to admit it, you'd only been sitting across from him but he felt like he wanted you by his side the entire time.

'she's so cute.' jae says, as you carry haejin back to the huts, the other nine all tiredly dotted around you all.

this was by far jaes favourite combination, you, the love of his life and a small cute, sleeping child. it made him so incredibly soft, and excited for the future, even if it was too early to say.

after fifteen minutes, you'd successfully gotten the five girls into bed and you were waiting outside the hut on the wooden railing, for jae to emerge from the boys hut.

'ah! finally, i have you all to myself.' he says, standing between your legs and kissing you sweetly.

'you were amazing tonight.' you tell him as you jump down from the railing, taking his hand in yours and wondering back to your huts. 'you should sing more.'

'i'm really gonna miss the kids.' jae sighs and you agree, leaning into him as he slides his arm around your waist, letting his hand sit in your back pocket. 'i've had the best summer yet.'

'me too.' you answer, 'but hey. let's not get all sad now, we've got the rest of this year to be here, kids or not.'

'we're moving into a hut together, right?' he asks. when the kids all left tomorrow all the huts could be moved around and lived in until they returned in october.

'is this your way of asking me to move in with you?' you laugh lightly. 'it's only been two weeks.' you shimmy away from his embrace purposely, to tease him. you begin to skip off ahead of him.

'it might as well be a year and two weeks.' he mutters, before running after you and bringing his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. 'we'll move in then move out in october, it'll be fun.'

'right. and siwon will have nothing to say about it?' you ask, turning around in his arms, as you bring your hands to side of his face, drawing your fingertips along his cheek.

'shut up, you know he won't. you're literally his favourite leader, if anyone else had gone out into the woods that day, they'd get in so much trouble. but, because it was you, you didn't.'

'you're annoying.' you tell him, bringing his head down so you could kiss him.

'i know.' he giggles, before reconnecting your lips.  this was your happy place, being with jae at the place that you loved.

nothing beat this summer, and you doubt another will however, as long as you had jae you knew you were going to have the best time.

'thank you for the best summer yet.' you tell him and he smiles, looking at you in complete adoration.

'wouldn't be the best without you.' he finished before reconnecting you lips again.

[savedbyharrington]

I’ll protect you - a Steve Harrington one shot

gay!Steve Harrington x male!reader

Summary: Things haven’t been really good to you, and when it happens, you decide to hide from the world. But this time your boyfriend Steve wants to find you.

Warnings: depression, self-harming

Content: Pure fluff, besides the warnings.

Author’s note: As I said when replying to the anon who requested this, I could relate a bit with his feelings. However I never self harmed or anything, so I’m writing this based on what I’ve heard from other people. I hope it’s not too graphic (there is no self-harming action in fact) or too over the edge. If it is, I apologize.

It’s one of those cloudy and rainy days. They don’t actually bother you since you love staying in your room and listening to the sound of the rain falling and meeting the ground, the trees and your house. But this time, it’s a stormy weather outside your home and inside your head. You’ve been through some abusive situations through your short life and they had a great impact on you.

No one knew about the intrusive thoughts that now and then invaded your mind and destroyed you. Not your family, your best friends nor your boyfriend Steve. He sure knew some stories of what you’ve been through. He listened carefully to every single one of them and usually gave you a long session of hugging and kissing after you were done. He knew how important this was in your life and he always tried to cheer you up how you deserved to be.

This had been an intense weekend and you haven’t seen him in days, since Thursday. You’ve been basically avoiding him, you were feeling too down to even talk to him. He usually gave you some time for yourself, since we all need it. However, this time Steve could feel you needed him more.

The telephone in your room rang and it took it a while for you to decide whether you were going to answer it or not. You took a deep breathe before picking it up:

“Hello”

“Hey pretty boy? How are you?”

You couldn’t help yourself and a grin showed up your face. His smooth voice always cheered you up.

“Meh, I don’t know. Good, I guess?”

“Hm”- Steve didn’t seem to be satisfied with that answer- “Haven’t seen you in a while. I miss you. Can I come over today?”

Those words hit you like a train. Listening to that always filled up your heart with good feelings and sensations. But this time you were fighting it. You felt too destroyed to have him there. You didn’t want him to see the mess you were at that moment.

“Hmm, I miss you too baby. But, please, don’t come over, not today. I’m not feeling good for it. It’ll be boring”- a low voice answered

“Aw, bummer. But it’s okay, I understand. Call me when you feel good again. I miss kissing those velvet soft lips of yours.”- you didn’t know but he smirked saying those words.

You let a muffled laugh out.

“I miss kissing your lips too, Harrington. Talk to you later. Bye”

With that you hang up and laid down on the bed. The tears were falling down your face and even though you wanted Steve’s help that bad you couldn’t allow yourself and you didn’t exactly know why.

A weird strong feeling dominated your body and you felt something horrible. You couldn’t tell if it was pain, and where exactly were you feeling it. You could say it was on your whole body but you weren’t sure at the same time.

By then the tears had all your body under control. You spent some minutes trying to fight it on your bed, until you looked to your desk and there was a sharp pointed scissor. You knew you shouldn’t. But you also knew it wasn’t the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either.

You walked towards your desk and grabbed it. However, at that exact moment, the door knocked and Steve showed up.

“Surprise baby...”

Your eyes opened wide in shock. Steve wasn’t supposed to see that! What was he going to think? Was he going to break up with you? Those were thoughts that showed up in your mind at that moment. You couldn’t say a word and your only reaction was to kneel on the floor, crying. You let the scissor fall on the floor, along with your stare. You were too ashamed to look up in Steve’s eyes

He immediately ran up to you and picked you up in his arms. He walked towards your bed while you hugged him on his arms. He delicately laid you down on your bed and laid right next to you hugging you as tight as possible.

You looked at him and he gently caressed your face with his thumb, moving the tears away.

“I’m sorry, Steve. You weren’t supposed to see me like this. I told you not come and...” “Shhh.”- He placed his index finger on your lips- “I’m glad I came. I could feel across the town you needed help.”

You buried your face on his chest, snuggling. He kissed the top of your head and silence dominated for a moment.

“Why did you never tell me about it?”- he asked while playing with your hair.

“I.. I don’t know? I guess I just thought you’d maybe feel ashamed of me and leave me?”

“Why would I do that? I mean, you are so much more than that. I could list a million other things I love about you that would make me stay.”

You hugged him even tighter. He always knew how to make yourself feel better.

“You’re not a monster for sometimes not feeling 100% good about yourself. I mean, we should always try to feel good about ourselves, but sometimes we do get a little confused or tired and we need some rest. That is okay too. I just want you to understand that even though things are hard, they eventually get better, and if you need to, you can ask for help for those who are close to you. Never hesitate on asking for help. Promise me?”- he asked, raising his little finger.

You giggle, raising your little finger too, and crossing it around his.

“Pinky promise.”- you smiled at his beauty.

“I love you so much (Y/N). I really do”-he said, staring deeply in your eyes.

“I love you too, Steve.”

Steve then leaned closer to you and your lips meet. It’s a sweet in love kiss.

And then, the only thing you wished is that you could stay like this forever.

[paulashanel]

Success Story: She Got Him Back Without Completing No Contact

Today I talk to Jenny who got her ex back without fully completing a no contact rule. I found her situation completely fascinating because she’s a bit of a unicorn.

The no contact rule without a doubt is one of the premier strategies in the industry so when someone succeeds without out I’m always interested in their approach.

Technically Jenny did do a no contact rule but not the original timeframe she had set out to complete.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz

How Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without No Contact

Chris Seiter: All right. Today we have brought on Jenny, one of our success stories from our private Facebook group. Before we started recording, I was telling her that she’s a bit of a unicorn because she didn’t follow the exact strategy with no contact, and she’s one of those rare people that got her ex back. We’re going to basically sit down with her for 35 to 45 minutes, and just interview her, and figure out what she did to successfully get her ex back. By her own admission, it seems like she still can’t believe she got him back, which is kind of awesome. How are you doing, Jenny?

Jenny: I’m doing great. I’m glad it’s Friday. The sun is shining today. Having a really good day.

Chris Seiter: We were talking a little bit. You said the weekend looks like it’s going to be a bit rainy in your side of the states. Hopefully, sometimes the weather might get it wrong.

Jenny: We need a little bit of rain for some flowers, so I’m okay with it.

Chris Seiter: That’s true. My grass is dying outside because of a lack of rain. I’m hoping it rains. Anyways, why don’t you take me back to the beginning? Give me a little bit of a briefing on your past relationship with your ex because you had mentioned before we started recording that it was a little bit rocky a couple of times before.

Jenny: Yes. It has not been a perfect relationship. We’ve been together almost three years now. Last summer, we actually made the decision for him to move in with me. During that time that he lived with me, that’s when the pandemic happened. Not only were we first living together for the first time, but then we were kind of forced to stay together for a long time. During that time, there was kids involved, his kids, my kids. We just got really rocky, really fast.

Jenny: He actually ended up moving out and getting his own place, but we ultimately decided to stay together still, which it was like taking a step backwards to take a step forward. Then I think it was about a month or so ago. We were just having a conversation. At one point, during the conversation, he was just like, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenny: I was completely blindsided. I didn’t understand. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? We were just fine a couple days ago. In fact, we had gone to the park with our kids. When it comes to our kids, it’s a really serious, serious situation. I was kind of confused, and blindsided, and really hurt, and didn’t understand. Immediately, in that moment, I was doing the grasping for straws, just begging, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. What are you doing? You’re my person.”

Jenny: Then after that, it was just silence. I didn’t hear from him at all, which is completely unlike us. We talk every day. Then the hurt just kept coming. I’m even more confused, and more hurt, and just didn’t understand. Now we don’t live together, so it’s not like I can just reach out to him. I had all those thoughts of, do I go to his house? Do I go to where he works? That whole stalker mentality starts sinking into your brain.

Jenny: I was like, “What am I going to do? This is my person. This is my future.” In the past, I was kind of that person, the chaser, going after them, and begging, and just doing that whole thing that we always do. I think it was day three. I found your program online. I immediately was like, well, I don’t know if I really want to go through with this. I don’t know if this is for me. I was reading some of the videos. I literally read every single article. I think there’s 600 or something like that.

Chris Seiter: 600 articles, yes.

Jenny: I read all of them.

Chris Seiter: I’m actually in the process of redoing some of them since they’re a little outdated. Before we actually started reviewing or interviewing, that’s literally what I was doing. Someone who reads 600 articles… I can barely read them myself, and I’m going through them. I tip my cap to you. That’s impressive.

Jenny: I was just in that desperation phase. What am I going to do? How do I do this? What is he thinking?

Chris Seiter: Did you bookmark the website or something?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: That’s crazy.

Jenny: I have two tabs at work. I was working on one and then reading on another.

Chris Seiter: The ultimate multi-tasker.

Jenny: I had to do something with my time.

Chris Seiter: Well, I guess that’s kind of a productive outlet. You’re learning.

Jenny: Yes. I was desperate. I didn’t know.

Chris Seiter: Did you do the same thing with the videos?

Jenny: I actually didn’t watch them as I was reading just because I was at work, and I can’t do video and work at the same time.

Chris Seiter: Oh yes. That kind of gives away the whole secretive…

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: You’re supposed to be working.

Jenny: Right. I actually didn’t start watching the videos until I got the program. I would read, and watch the video, and then read the PDF. That’s just kind of what I was doing with my time. I didn’t realize time was passing as I was reading. Then all of a sudden, it was a week later. Then I was in the Facebook group. People kept posting stuff. I was like, yes. I’m like, “Oh, I’m with that. I’m right there with you. I know exactly how you feel.”

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: I really think that the Facebook group was something that really helped me, too, because seeing people go through the exact same thing I was going through, struggling with the exact same feelings I was struggling with, just kind of having that support system of, okay, I’m not crazy. Other people are doing this too.

Chris Seiter: This is normal.

Jenny: Yes, this is normal. Then just being able to also see what other people are saying or doing that is working or not working… I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to do that.

Chris Seiter: Yes. We get a lot of that. Right, right, right.

Jenny: That was really my goal. Then I got to the point of the ungettable girl topic. The way that I saw that was, no one would want to be with someone that’s begging, and sad, and crying. I need to make sure that I’m emitting this kind of secure relationship vibe out to the world. Whether he sees that or someone else sees that, I wanted that to be me. They say success is not linear, or grieving is not linear, or whatever is not linear. That’s exactly how it felt. Some days, I was bad-ass, and I could do this. It’d be fine. Then the next day, I was in my bed with the ice cream.

Chris Seiter: I think that’s so normal too.

Jenny: It is.

Chris Seiter: It’s so overlooked for a lot of people. Everyone always thinks it’s just, one day after the next, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be building up that ungettable mentality, but no. It’s like two days in a row and then one day, something happens. You’re just down in the dumps. Then you kind of have to get back up on the horse. It just kind of is this… I mean, yes.

Jenny: For me, it was little triggers. I would find something. I have this note that he wrote me on my desk that I look at all the time.

Chris Seiter: Oh no. Right. You look at it, right?

Jenny: I was like, right? I was like, why would he write this if he didn’t mean it?

Chris Seiter: I mean, what’s interesting about the whole thing from what I’m hearing about your situation so far was how out of the blue it seemed. I kind of imagine, from his perspective, it must have been percolating for a while. If I’m him, I think maybe he’s having trouble… He has the idea, almost like… I watched Inception the other day. It’s top of mind right now. The whole movie is about planting an idea in this guy’s head, and it kind of grows.

Jenny: Kind of grow it.

Chris Seiter: Consumes him, right. I’m thinking your ex, when that breakup happened, because it was so out of the blue, and it was just almost in the middle of a conversation, which is kind of wild, it must’ve been really percolating inside and growing until it finally bubbled up. He just couldn’t let it out anymore, or couldn’t contain it anymore, and had to let it out. I’m kind of curious. Once we get through your situation, if you actually asked him what his experience was with that because I think that could help a lot of people who are in a similar situation, whose exes just sort of cold-cocked them out of the blue.

Jenny: Out of nowhere, yes. We didn’t talk. I tried to do the social media rules where I was supposed to say things about myself. I bought myself tickets to this art show that I’d been wanting to go to for a long time.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s pretty rad.

Jenny: I went with my friends, which I’m not a big go-to-a-club-or-a-bar kind of person, but I went out with my friends.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: Then I went to a outside concert with my parents. I was just in the sun. It was a blues show, and it was just so relaxing. In those moments, I was okay. I was fine. I was having a good time. I felt happy or in my zone. I looked that way from the outside.

Jenny: Later on, he did admit, “I was stalking you. I watched all your stuff.” During that time, I started posting… I’m a big TikTok user. I actually started doing a daily TikTok every day of something positive, a positive quote or a positive uplifting message. I actually started doing it for myself so that I could inspire myself or inspire others. When you do that, you can post it on all your social media.

Jenny: He was seeing those videos and was… Later on, he had mentioned, “I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seem so happy.” I was like, “No. Sometimes but not all the time.” My idea was just, I need to be positive. I need to have this positive energy. That’s what I want back. That’s how I want that positive energy back.

Jenny: It was hard. It was definitely hard. What initially ended up happening was I was reading all this stuff on the Facebook group. Everyone’s like, no contact, no contact. He had sent me a message, “Hey.” Because right after the breakup, I was like, “Let’s talk. Let’s meet for some coffee or something.”

Chris Seiter: Right. He was not having it.

Jenny: He was like, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Chris Seiter: How much time had passed before this all occurs?

Jenny: Probably a couple weeks, at least three weeks. I mean, I was getting there.

Chris Seiter: Three weeks. Oh, it’s 21 days. That’s almost kind of a smaller little no-contact.

Jenny: The short one.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: He sends me this text message. He’s like, “I want to meet up with you, or are you open to meet up?” At first, I wasn’t going to reply at all because you’re not supposed to reply at all, but I was just kind of like, “Well, I’m actually busy next week. I can’t really meet with you,” which to him… He immediately responded, “Oh, well, I just want you to know that I’m available whenever you need to meet or whenever is good for you.” He wanted me to know he was available.

Chris Seiter: You literally told him that you were busy, but you can meet him next week.

Jenny: Yes. I was like, “Maybe next week.”

Chris Seiter: That’s pretty clever tactic.

Jenny: I did not have plans.

Chris Seiter: Of course. Right. It’s all a game, but hey, he broke up with you.

Jenny: That’s right.

Chris Seiter: Hey, you can play a little games back.

Jenny: You can wait.

Chris Seiter: What happened?

Jenny: That was really, really hard because I did want to talk to him. I did want to see him. I did want to say all the things I’ve been wanting to say. It was really hard to kind of play that game. I’ve been journaling every day and writing all the things down that I want to say. Ultimately, in the end, I didn’t end up saying any of those things that I had written down.

Chris Seiter: It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: You write it all down. You’re like, okay, this is the perfect thing to say, but when you’re in the moment, it’s kind of like, what was that again?

Jenny: Yes. It was very interesting. It was probably a couple days after. It was the weekend after he had sent that text saying he wanted to meet up. I was just sitting there in my bed journaling. I had this really, really strong feeling that I wanted to say something. You have those throughout the whole time. You want to text. You want to call. You want to see him or whatever. This time, it just felt really different. I didn’t really want him to say, I love you or let’s meet up. I just wanted to reach out somehow.

Jenny: I just sent a text. It was 9:00 at night. I said just in a text. I was just like, “I just want you to know I’m thinking about you.” That was it. No, let’s talk. No, let’s have a conversation. Just, I just want you to know you’re on my mind, kind of thing. I’m finishing journaling. I’m sitting there in my bed journaling, and my phone goes off, which I know he’s replied to me. I’m like, I’m not going to answer that right now. I’m just going to finish journaling. I’m doing everything, getting ready for bed.

Jenny: I finally look at my phone. He was asking me about my weekend, or how I was doing, and that I look so happy. I was just like, “Well, I’m just sitting here journaling. I’m not doing anything serious.” Then either he said or I said, “Do you want to text right now?” In my head, I’m thinking, “I kind of want to go to bed.” I was like, “Okay. I’ll text-

Chris Seiter: He was not your first priority.

Jenny: No.

Chris Seiter: Sleep was your first priority, which is kind of the beauty.

Jenny: Right. I was like, “Well, I’ll text for a little bit, but I’m going to be going to bed soon.” It was small talk, that little value chain of just small talk. “Oh, what’d you do this weekend?” that kind of thing. “Oh, I went to a show with my parents,” or whatever. Then out of the blue, he was like, “Can I tell you what I’m thinking right now?” I’m like, “Okay, sure.” He’s like, “I really just want to come over to your house and tell you what I need to tell you because there’s some things I want to say to you and then I can just leave.”

Jenny: I was like, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know if that’s really a good idea. I talked to my son. I was like, “Hey, he wants to come over. How do you feel about this?” Ultimately, I said, “Okay. Well, you can come over, but we’re going to stand outside on my front porch.”

Chris Seiter: Sit outside.

Jenny: You can’t come in. He did. He came over. It was 10:00 at night. He came over. It’s a 35-minute drive from his place. He stood outside. He said all the things. He said, “I want to be with you. I miss you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I told my kids that I want to move in with you at the end of my lease. I still want to marry you in two years,” all these things.

Jenny: Again, all the things that I’d written down just flew out of my brain. I’m like, “Oh, okay,” completely shocked that this is what he’s telling me because at the time, I’m expecting him to just say, “Look, this is my life. I don’t really think this is where it’s going or whatever.” I really stood my ground. I was like, “Well, that sounds good. I want that too. Let’s just kind of see where this goes.” Then he left. There was no him coming inside. There was no sleepover, none of that.

Chris Seiter: It ended abruptly, and then it began again extremely abruptly.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Then he just left. It’s kind of like a drive-by proposal, and then he’s out of it.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: That’s hilarious.

Jenny: We just sat outside, and he told me all these things. I was like, “Well, I’ve been missing you too. I really want to be with you. I’ve been waiting for us to talk or whatever.” It’s kind of like, we not necessarily picked up where we left off, but even in a better spot now because we have all these plans that we’re doing. He’s been sending me houses that he’s wanting to possibly go look at this summer.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s exciting.

Jenny: We had dinner.

Chris Seiter: Also, a little bit scary. Are you nervous about that?

Jenny: We had talked about it before the breakup. It wasn’t completely shocking, but it was kind of… He had gone from the iffy, “Well, maybe,” to, “Okay, let’s look at this house.”

Chris Seiter: Well, what’s interesting about the situation to me is mostly how it ended. Did you ever have an opportunity to sit down with your boyfriend and say, “What was going through your mind when you broke up with me?”

Jenny: I did. What he claimed was going through his mind is there was something that he had been kind of struggling on a personal level that he hadn’t… I guess he just was kind of scared to tell me. Instead of wanting to tell me, he just kind of was like, “Well, I’m just going to keep you from it. I’m just going to leave you.”

Chris Seiter: It’s classical avoidant approach to the-

Jenny: Oh my gosh, yes.

Chris Seiter: Is that in line with his personality? Is he kind of more of like an avoidant type tendencies?

Jenny: Yes, he is. When we would get in a fight, he was the one that needed space and didn’t want to talk. I’d have to sit around, and wait, and wait for him to get ready to talk. It is in line with his personality in that if he’s dealing with something, I’ll find out later on down the road. I’m not going to find out if he’s got-

Chris Seiter: He’s like, “I’m going to deal with it myself. I don’t need help from anyone.”

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Which is really classic avoidant attachment. They’re very independent, so they feel like they can deal with the problems themselves. They don’t want to include anyone else to help them. Of course, you seem like the kind that would love to help solve problems. In some ways, that’s an avoidant’s worst nightmare because they’re like, “No, I can do it myself.” They push you away.

Chris Seiter: I don’t think this is a case of, the grass is greener, where he thinks, “Oh, I could find someone better.” I think this is a case of, you’re getting a little too close. I’m getting scared, so I’m going to push you away. Then now that he’s away, he starts to have nostalgic reverie based on your past relationship. He’s like, “Oh crap. What have I done?” He regrets the decision. He comes back. Do you think that’s in line with what happened, or is there an element that I’m missing here?

Jenny: No. I mean, it sounds pretty right on. He was very like, “I want to deal with this myself.” Then after having some time away, he’s like, “I really need you. I really need you in my life.” Not to his own fault, but I’m the kind of person that I kind of have to put up a boundary. I’m not going to do this for you. You have to figure this out on your own because I want to help so hard. That’s something that I have to work on myself, is I want to help you, but I can’t do it for you.

Chris Seiter: I don’t know about you, but I was always taught, maybe from viewing my parents, that when couples are having struggles, you help each other, right? For me, when I would start dating and date someone who had avoidant tendencies, it was almost like help… I wanted to get in there and solve the problem. It took me a long time to realize, like what you said, you have to almost stop yourself and be like, no, they have to solve the problem.

Chris Seiter: A lot of times, I’d be dating someone. They’d be crying. I’d be like, “Why are you crying? I’ll fix it. What’s wrong?” It was really hard for me to sit back and be like, I need to let them feel what they’re feeling. Do you feel like there was any of that where you’re like me, where you’re just like, “No, I’m going to help solve the problem,” and then just sort of backing up and being, no, I’m going to let them feel what they’re feeling?

Jenny: I am that person. I’m the, please don’t cry. What can I do to help you?

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: How do we use fix this? I’m that person. He’s kind of the opposite, in that, “Oh, you’re crying. Maybe I should just give you some space.”

Chris Seiter: My wife is the same way. I don’t really cry that much, but when something’s bothering me… A classic example is when someone gets sick or when my wife gets sick, if I try to help her, she’s like, “No, stop.” If I get sick, I’m like, “No. No, come help. Dote on me.”

Jenny: Do all the things.

Chris Seiter: Right, yes.

Jenny: That’s pretty much the same for us too. I think in the opposite way, he wants to do it himself. He’s fine by himself, doesn’t need help. Then ultimately, when you get there, you’re like, okay, maybe I do need your help. Maybe I do want you here. We got to the point where he admitted that he was struggling. I said, “Well, I can’t fix this for you, or I’m not going to fix this for you, but I’m still here. I’m still here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, even if it’s just me just sitting next to you so you’re not sitting by yourself.”

Jenny: Ultimately, I think that’s where we got to. It was, again, like you said, very unexpected in that it happened and very unexpected in the way that we got back together too. I had gotten to that point where I was like, is this ever going to happen? Is he ever going to reach out? I definitely had those moments where I didn’t know for sure what was going to happen.

Chris Seiter: Were you ever at a point emotionally, because I hear this a lot from success stories where they get to this point where they’re just… They’ve been through enough period of no contact without hearing from their ex. Things maybe are not going the way they were expecting. They’re sitting there and thinking to themselves, “You know what? I just don’t care about getting them back anymore.” They kind of confront that reality, and they’re okay with it. Was there ever a point that you got to where you felt that way?

Jenny: I would probably say no, just because in the..

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Success Story: She Got Him Back Without Completing No Contact

Today I talk to Jenny who got her ex back without fully completing a no contact rule. I found her situation completely fascinating because she’s a bit of a unicorn.

The no contact rule without a doubt is one of the premier strategies in the industry so when someone succeeds without out I’m always interested in their approach.

Technically Jenny did do a no contact rule but not the original timeframe she had set out to complete.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz

How Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without No Contact

Chris Seiter: All right. Today we have brought on Jenny, one of our success stories from our private Facebook group. Before we started recording, I was telling her that she’s a bit of a unicorn because she didn’t follow the exact strategy with no contact, and she’s one of those rare people that got her ex back. We’re going to basically sit down with her for 35 to 45 minutes, and just interview her, and figure out what she did to successfully get her ex back. By her own admission, it seems like she still can’t believe she got him back, which is kind of awesome. How are you doing, Jenny?

Jenny: I’m doing great. I’m glad it’s Friday. The sun is shining today. Having a really good day.

Chris Seiter: We were talking a little bit. You said the weekend looks like it’s going to be a bit rainy in your side of the states. Hopefully, sometimes the weather might get it wrong.

Jenny: We need a little bit of rain for some flowers, so I’m okay with it.

Chris Seiter: That’s true. My grass is dying outside because of a lack of rain. I’m hoping it rains. Anyways, why don’t you take me back to the beginning? Give me a little bit of a briefing on your past relationship with your ex because you had mentioned before we started recording that it was a little bit rocky a couple of times before.

Jenny: Yes. It has not been a perfect relationship. We’ve been together almost three years now. Last summer, we actually made the decision for him to move in with me. During that time that he lived with me, that’s when the pandemic happened. Not only were we first living together for the first time, but then we were kind of forced to stay together for a long time. During that time, there was kids involved, his kids, my kids. We just got really rocky, really fast.

Jenny: He actually ended up moving out and getting his own place, but we ultimately decided to stay together still, which it was like taking a step backwards to take a step forward. Then I think it was about a month or so ago. We were just having a conversation. At one point, during the conversation, he was just like, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenny: I was completely blindsided. I didn’t understand. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? We were just fine a couple days ago. In fact, we had gone to the park with our kids. When it comes to our kids, it’s a really serious, serious situation. I was kind of confused, and blindsided, and really hurt, and didn’t understand. Immediately, in that moment, I was doing the grasping for straws, just begging, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. What are you doing? You’re my person.”

Jenny: Then after that, it was just silence. I didn’t hear from him at all, which is completely unlike us. We talk every day. Then the hurt just kept coming. I’m even more confused, and more hurt, and just didn’t understand. Now we don’t live together, so it’s not like I can just reach out to him. I had all those thoughts of, do I go to his house? Do I go to where he works? That whole stalker mentality starts sinking into your brain.

Jenny: I was like, “What am I going to do? This is my person. This is my future.” In the past, I was kind of that person, the chaser, going after them, and begging, and just doing that whole thing that we always do. I think it was day three. I found your program online. I immediately was like, well, I don’t know if I really want to go through with this. I don’t know if this is for me. I was reading some of the videos. I literally read every single article. I think there’s 600 or something like that.

Chris Seiter: 600 articles, yes.

Jenny: I read all of them.

Chris Seiter: I’m actually in the process of redoing some of them since they’re a little outdated. Before we actually started reviewing or interviewing, that’s literally what I was doing. Someone who reads 600 articles… I can barely read them myself, and I’m going through them. I tip my cap to you. That’s impressive.

Jenny: I was just in that desperation phase. What am I going to do? How do I do this? What is he thinking?

Chris Seiter: Did you bookmark the website or something?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: That’s crazy.

Jenny: I have two tabs at work. I was working on one and then reading on another.

Chris Seiter: The ultimate multi-tasker.

Jenny: I had to do something with my time.

Chris Seiter: Well, I guess that’s kind of a productive outlet. You’re learning.

Jenny: Yes. I was desperate. I didn’t know.

Chris Seiter: Did you do the same thing with the videos?

Jenny: I actually didn’t watch them as I was reading just because I was at work, and I can’t do video and work at the same time.

Chris Seiter: Oh yes. That kind of gives away the whole secretive…

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: You’re supposed to be working.

Jenny: Right. I actually didn’t start watching the videos until I got the program. I would read, and watch the video, and then read the PDF. That’s just kind of what I was doing with my time. I didn’t realize time was passing as I was reading. Then all of a sudden, it was a week later. Then I was in the Facebook group. People kept posting stuff. I was like, yes. I’m like, “Oh, I’m with that. I’m right there with you. I know exactly how you feel.”

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: I really think that the Facebook group was something that really helped me, too, because seeing people go through the exact same thing I was going through, struggling with the exact same feelings I was struggling with, just kind of having that support system of, okay, I’m not crazy. Other people are doing this too.

Chris Seiter: This is normal.

Jenny: Yes, this is normal. Then just being able to also see what other people are saying or doing that is working or not working… I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to do that.

Chris Seiter: Yes. We get a lot of that. Right, right, right.

Jenny: That was really my goal. Then I got to the point of the ungettable girl topic. The way that I saw that was, no one would want to be with someone that’s begging, and sad, and crying. I need to make sure that I’m emitting this kind of secure relationship vibe out to the world. Whether he sees that or someone else sees that, I wanted that to be me. They say success is not linear, or grieving is not linear, or whatever is not linear. That’s exactly how it felt. Some days, I was bad-ass, and I could do this. It’d be fine. Then the next day, I was in my bed with the ice cream.

Chris Seiter: I think that’s so normal too.

Jenny: It is.

Chris Seiter: It’s so overlooked for a lot of people. Everyone always thinks it’s just, one day after the next, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be building up that ungettable mentality, but no. It’s like two days in a row and then one day, something happens. You’re just down in the dumps. Then you kind of have to get back up on the horse. It just kind of is this… I mean, yes.

Jenny: For me, it was little triggers. I would find something. I have this note that he wrote me on my desk that I look at all the time.

Chris Seiter: Oh no. Right. You look at it, right?

Jenny: I was like, right? I was like, why would he write this if he didn’t mean it?

Chris Seiter: I mean, what’s interesting about the whole thing from what I’m hearing about your situation so far was how out of the blue it seemed. I kind of imagine, from his perspective, it must have been percolating for a while. If I’m him, I think maybe he’s having trouble… He has the idea, almost like… I watched Inception the other day. It’s top of mind right now. The whole movie is about planting an idea in this guy’s head, and it kind of grows.

Jenny: Kind of grow it.

Chris Seiter: Consumes him, right. I’m thinking your ex, when that breakup happened, because it was so out of the blue, and it was just almost in the middle of a conversation, which is kind of wild, it must’ve been really percolating inside and growing until it finally bubbled up. He just couldn’t let it out anymore, or couldn’t contain it anymore, and had to let it out. I’m kind of curious. Once we get through your situation, if you actually asked him what his experience was with that because I think that could help a lot of people who are in a similar situation, whose exes just sort of cold-cocked them out of the blue.

Jenny: Out of nowhere, yes. We didn’t talk. I tried to do the social media rules where I was supposed to say things about myself. I bought myself tickets to this art show that I’d been wanting to go to for a long time.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s pretty rad.

Jenny: I went with my friends, which I’m not a big go-to-a-club-or-a-bar kind of person, but I went out with my friends.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: Then I went to a outside concert with my parents. I was just in the sun. It was a blues show, and it was just so relaxing. In those moments, I was okay. I was fine. I was having a good time. I felt happy or in my zone. I looked that way from the outside.

Jenny: Later on, he did admit, “I was stalking you. I watched all your stuff.” During that time, I started posting… I’m a big TikTok user. I actually started doing a daily TikTok every day of something positive, a positive quote or a positive uplifting message. I actually started doing it for myself so that I could inspire myself or inspire others. When you do that, you can post it on all your social media.

Jenny: He was seeing those videos and was… Later on, he had mentioned, “I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seem so happy.” I was like, “No. Sometimes but not all the time.” My idea was just, I need to be positive. I need to have this positive energy. That’s what I want back. That’s how I want that positive energy back.

Jenny: It was hard. It was definitely hard. What initially ended up happening was I was reading all this stuff on the Facebook group. Everyone’s like, no contact, no contact. He had sent me a message, “Hey.” Because right after the breakup, I was like, “Let’s talk. Let’s meet for some coffee or something.”

Chris Seiter: Right. He was not having it.

Jenny: He was like, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Chris Seiter: How much time had passed before this all occurs?

Jenny: Probably a couple weeks, at least three weeks. I mean, I was getting there.

Chris Seiter: Three weeks. Oh, it’s 21 days. That’s almost kind of a smaller little no-contact.

Jenny: The short one.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: He sends me this text message. He’s like, “I want to meet up with you, or are you open to meet up?” At first, I wasn’t going to reply at all because you’re not supposed to reply at all, but I was just kind of like, “Well, I’m actually busy next week. I can’t really meet with you,” which to him… He immediately responded, “Oh, well, I just want you to know that I’m available whenever you need to meet or whenever is good for you.” He wanted me to know he was available.

Chris Seiter: You literally told him that you were busy, but you can meet him next week.

Jenny: Yes. I was like, “Maybe next week.”

Chris Seiter: That’s pretty clever tactic.

Jenny: I did not have plans.

Chris Seiter: Of course. Right. It’s all a game, but hey, he broke up with you.

Jenny: That’s right.

Chris Seiter: Hey, you can play a little games back.

Jenny: You can wait.

Chris Seiter: What happened?

Jenny: That was really, really hard because I did want to talk to him. I did want to see him. I did want to say all the things I’ve been wanting to say. It was really hard to kind of play that game. I’ve been journaling every day and writing all the things down that I want to say. Ultimately, in the end, I didn’t end up saying any of those things that I had written down.

Chris Seiter: It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: You write it all down. You’re like, okay, this is the perfect thing to say, but when you’re in the moment, it’s kind of like, what was that again?

Jenny: Yes. It was very interesting. It was probably a couple days after. It was the weekend after he had sent that text saying he wanted to meet up. I was just sitting there in my bed journaling. I had this really, really strong feeling that I wanted to say something. You have those throughout the whole time. You want to text. You want to call. You want to see him or whatever. This time, it just felt really different. I didn’t really want him to say, I love you or let’s meet up. I just wanted to reach out somehow.

Jenny: I just sent a text. It was 9:00 at night. I said just in a text. I was just like, “I just want you to know I’m thinking about you.” That was it. No, let’s talk. No, let’s have a conversation. Just, I just want you to know you’re on my mind, kind of thing. I’m finishing journaling. I’m sitting there in my bed journaling, and my phone goes off, which I know he’s replied to me. I’m like, I’m not going to answer that right now. I’m just going to finish journaling. I’m doing everything, getting ready for bed.

Jenny: I finally look at my phone. He was asking me about my weekend, or how I was doing, and that I look so happy. I was just like, “Well, I’m just sitting here journaling. I’m not doing anything serious.” Then either he said or I said, “Do you want to text right now?” In my head, I’m thinking, “I kind of want to go to bed.” I was like, “Okay. I’ll text-

Chris Seiter: He was not your first priority.

Jenny: No.

Chris Seiter: Sleep was your first priority, which is kind of the beauty.

Jenny: Right. I was like, “Well, I’ll text for a little bit, but I’m going to be going to bed soon.” It was small talk, that little value chain of just small talk. “Oh, what’d you do this weekend?” that kind of thing. “Oh, I went to a show with my parents,” or whatever. Then out of the blue, he was like, “Can I tell you what I’m thinking right now?” I’m like, “Okay, sure.” He’s like, “I really just want to come over to your house and tell you what I need to tell you because there’s some things I want to say to you and then I can just leave.”

Jenny: I was like, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know if that’s really a good idea. I talked to my son. I was like, “Hey, he wants to come over. How do you feel about this?” Ultimately, I said, “Okay. Well, you can come over, but we’re going to stand outside on my front porch.”

Chris Seiter: Sit outside.

Jenny: You can’t come in. He did. He came over. It was 10:00 at night. He came over. It’s a 35-minute drive from his place. He stood outside. He said all the things. He said, “I want to be with you. I miss you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I told my kids that I want to move in with you at the end of my lease. I still want to marry you in two years,” all these things.

Jenny: Again, all the things that I’d written down just flew out of my brain. I’m like, “Oh, okay,” completely shocked that this is what he’s telling me because at the time, I’m expecting him to just say, “Look, this is my life. I don’t really think this is where it’s going or whatever.” I really stood my ground. I was like, “Well, that sounds good. I want that too. Let’s just kind of see where this goes.” Then he left. There was no him coming inside. There was no sleepover, none of that.

Chris Seiter: It ended abruptly, and then it began again extremely abruptly.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Then he just left. It’s kind of like a drive-by proposal, and then he’s out of it.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: That’s hilarious.

Jenny: We just sat outside, and he told me all these things. I was like, “Well, I’ve been missing you too. I really want to be with you. I’ve been waiting for us to talk or whatever.” It’s kind of like, we not necessarily picked up where we left off, but even in a better spot now because we have all these plans that we’re doing. He’s been sending me houses that he’s wanting to possibly go look at this summer.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s exciting.

Jenny: We had dinner.

Chris Seiter: Also, a little bit scary. Are you nervous about that?

Jenny: We had talked about it before the breakup. It wasn’t completely shocking, but it was kind of… He had gone from the iffy, “Well, maybe,” to, “Okay, let’s look at this house.”

Chris Seiter: Well, what’s interesting about the situation to me is mostly how it ended. Did you ever have an opportunity to sit down with your boyfriend and say, “What was going through your mind when you broke up with me?”

Jenny: I did. What he claimed was going through his mind is there was something that he had been kind of struggling on a personal level that he hadn’t… I guess he just was kind of scared to tell me. Instead of wanting to tell me, he just kind of was like, “Well, I’m just going to keep you from it. I’m just going to leave you.”

Chris Seiter: It’s classical avoidant approach to the-

Jenny: Oh my gosh, yes.

Chris Seiter: Is that in line with his personality? Is he kind of more of like an avoidant type tendencies?

Jenny: Yes, he is. When we would get in a fight, he was the one that needed space and didn’t want to talk. I’d have to sit around, and wait, and wait for him to get ready to talk. It is in line with his personality in that if he’s dealing with something, I’ll find out later on down the road. I’m not going to find out if he’s got-

Chris Seiter: He’s like, “I’m going to deal with it myself. I don’t need help from anyone.”

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Which is really classic avoidant attachment. They’re very independent, so they feel like they can deal with the problems themselves. They don’t want to include anyone else to help them. Of course, you seem like the kind that would love to help solve problems. In some ways, that’s an avoidant’s worst nightmare because they’re like, “No, I can do it myself.” They push you away.

Chris Seiter: I don’t think this is a case of, the grass is greener, where he thinks, “Oh, I could find someone better.” I think this is a case of, you’re getting a little too close. I’m getting scared, so I’m going to push you away. Then now that he’s away, he starts to have nostalgic reverie based on your past relationship. He’s like, “Oh crap. What have I done?” He regrets the decision. He comes back. Do you think that’s in line with what happened, or is there an element that I’m missing here?

Jenny: No. I mean, it sounds pretty right on. He was very like, “I want to deal with this myself.” Then after having some time away, he’s like, “I really need you. I really need you in my life.” Not to his own fault, but I’m the kind of person that I kind of have to put up a boundary. I’m not going to do this for you. You have to figure this out on your own because I want to help so hard. That’s something that I have to work on myself, is I want to help you, but I can’t do it for you.

Chris Seiter: I don’t know about you, but I was always taught, maybe from viewing my parents, that when couples are having struggles, you help each other, right? For me, when I would start dating and date someone who had avoidant tendencies, it was almost like help… I wanted to get in there and solve the problem. It took me a long time to realize, like what you said, you have to almost stop yourself and be like, no, they have to solve the problem.

Chris Seiter: A lot of times, I’d be dating someone. They’d be crying. I’d be like, “Why are you crying? I’ll fix it. What’s wrong?” It was really hard for me to sit back and be like, I need to let them feel what they’re feeling. Do you feel like there was any of that where you’re like me, where you’re just like, “No, I’m going to help solve the problem,” and then just sort of backing up and being, no, I’m going to let them feel what they’re feeling?

Jenny: I am that person. I’m the, please don’t cry. What can I do to help you?

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: How do we use fix this? I’m that person. He’s kind of the opposite, in that, “Oh, you’re crying. Maybe I should just give you some space.”

Chris Seiter: My wife is the same way. I don’t really cry that much, but when something’s bothering me… A classic example is when someone gets sick or when my wife gets sick, if I try to help her, she’s like, “No, stop.” If I get sick, I’m like, “No. No, come help. Dote on me.”

Jenny: Do all the things.

Chris Seiter: Right, yes.

Jenny: That’s pretty much the same for us too. I think in the opposite way, he wants to do it himself. He’s fine by himself, doesn’t need help. Then ultimately, when you get there, you’re like, okay, maybe I do need your help. Maybe I do want you here. We got to the point where he admitted that he was struggling. I said, “Well, I can’t fix this for you, or I’m not going to fix this for you, but I’m still here. I’m still here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, even if it’s just me just sitting next to you so you’re not sitting by yourself.”

Jenny: Ultimately, I think that’s where we got to. It was, again, like you said, very unexpected in that it happened and very unexpected in the way that we got back together too. I had gotten to that point where I was like, is this ever going to happen? Is he ever going to reach out? I definitely had those moments where I didn’t know for sure what was going to happen.

Chris Seiter: Were you ever at a point emotionally, because I hear this a lot from success stories where they get to this point where they’re just… They’ve been through enough period of no contact without hearing from their ex. Things maybe are not going the way they were expecting. They’re sitting there and thinking to themselves, “You know what? I just don’t care about getting them back anymore.” They kind of confront that reality, and they’re okay with it. Was there ever a point that you got to where you felt that way?

Jenny: I would probably say no, just because in the..

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Dad Letter 07032021

3 July, 2021

Dear Dad--

Well, the past week was a bit of a kick in the happy sack, but it wasn’t all bad! I suppose I could say the depression was bad last week, but I take some comfort knowing that it was mostly due to external causes, because it’s nice to know that, when your head is full of fuck, so to speak, it’s the store bought kind, and not something created by your own anxieties and shortcomings. Basically my job has been poopy and unchanged. I’m still learning the new and more complicated audit, and I still haven’t mastered it, although I have improved a great deal. And for lots of reasons my boss probably wouldn’t want me discussing, it is better if I master this audit as soon as I possibly can. Only problem is, of all the reasons why I need to learn it faster, none of them actually helps me learn it faster; they only increase the pressure on me, which, if anything, makes me learn it slower.

And because all this is work that’s second nature to my boss, he doesn’t have a tremendous amount of baked-in empathy for my plight. He’s sitting there thinking, “It’s just tic-tac-toe. I explained how to play a dozen times now. Why can’t he play tic-tac-toe yet?” (From my point of view, you can remove “tic-tac-toe” and substitute “Chinese algebra in Braille” and it’ll be more accurate.) That means, for about five weeks now, I’ve come to work every day I’m scheduled and I fail at this audit again, and I don’t get any positive reinforcement from anyone, because I’m not impressing anyone. It’s not long before that sort of thing takes all the wind out of your sails.

Part of the problem with learning the new audit was my desire to create a comprehensive how-to document about it for my own reference, and my boss’s concern that such a guide would only be confusing and slow things down. But I was finally permitted to create it, so now it’ll be good if I can do more of the audit on my own, without help. And I did! It’s still not very impressive to my boss, though, because I’ve moved from the stage where I fuck it up because it’s frightening, confusing, and awful, to the point where I fuck it up because I think I understand it now, so I do more of it on my own, and little shit gets missed. But the next step is, I’ll actually understand it, and stop making mistakes. That part should arrive soon.

To add to the mental fuckery, is the fact that they’re only scheduling me three days a week, and working part time like that earns me no benefits at all, and only pays enough that I’d have to eat leaves and insects, if I didn’t have a retirement savings that’s just about gone. So yeah, my problem is that the job sucks, and there’s too little of it. (It’s the old joke, “The food here is terrible.” “Yes, and the portions are too small.”) The boss just texted me yesterday to tell me the auditor above me is leaving on the 19th, and I assume, once that full time guy is gone, I’ll get to take his full time shift. As soon as I start working full time at the casino, I should be making enough to cover all my bills, and I’ll be self-sustaining again. Although I hate that my co-auditor is leaving the company--and I do hate it, because this guy is sweet and kind, in addition to being good at the work--this should remove a lot of my financial anxieties. Now I can stop drawing on savings and start sticking money back into my retirement instead.

So! Tomorrow is the 4th of July, and the first day of my work week. And because our parking garage is one of the tallest structures in downtown Bangor, it should be filled beyond capacity by the time I get off work by people who want to stand on the top level to watch fireworks. I’ll go to work, and because it’s actually a Sunday, it’s a day with just the boss and me, no other auditors. And we’ll sit down and have a little chat about where my job is going. This may sound heavy, but it’s not the kind of thing that makes me nervous. He now needs me more than ever, because I’m about to be the second-most experienced auditor in the office, right behind him. Perhaps he will take the opportunity to impress upon me the urgency of mastering the new audit, at which time I will impress upon him my belief that, if he’d let me build the notes I wanted from day one, I would no longer need them, because I’d have mastered it by now. Chex Mix, libtards.

Enough about my job. I learned something about how airplanes fly that blew my mind. I love science shit! You know the basic concept of how airplanes fly: you just need air passing over the wings. Because of the wing’s shape, air passes more quickly over the wing than under it. The faster-moving air equals reduced air pressure, and this negative air pressure over the wings grabs the plane and sucks it up into the sky by its wings. (I don’t know why it is, but I know that faster wind speed equals lower air pressure. It’s how you know a tornado or hurricane is coming: The air pressure drops, because the air is moving so fast.) More speed, or bigger wings, equals more lift. The way the air slides over the wing is called a laminar flow. BUT!!!! On a delta-wing aircraft, like a Concorde, where the wing makes a big triangle shape, that’s not how the lift is generated. It’s not a layer of air passing over the wing providing lift; it’s something else. (When I heard this, I thought, “No it’s not, and you’re a lying sack of shit!”) But as it turns out, with a triangle-shaped airplane, like the Concorde, the wing actually creates twin vortices of air, one above each wing. It’s not air passing over the wing providing lift, it’s a little tornado on its side, right above the wing, which you generally can’t see because it’s composed of air, spinning so quickly that it creates the low air pressure that sucks the plane up into the air by its wings. I learned this in a documentary about the Concorde that crashed and brought all Concorde flights to a halt.

It’s been a good weekend, and I assume this will end up being one of my last unwanted four-day weekends before I go full time. We went to visit plant scientist guy and his husband yesterday, and Zach made a big slow cooker full of barbecue pulled pork for us all to make sandwiches out of. We added grilled pineapple rings to our sandwiches; that shit was amazing. And he (plant scientist guy) is growing a garden that Zach has planted some stuff in. By the fall, we should have some pumpkins, and something like four different kinds of basil. I use basil in cooking about as often as I use kitty litter, but Bryan/plant scientist guy did pick a handful of lemon basil and let me smell it. That, too, was kind of amazing, because it smelled just like a handful of lemon-scented dish soap. I’ve now googled it, and yeah, it’s good in cooking, because of its unmistakable lemony scent. And it goes by other names, including Thai lemon basil, and hoary basil, uh-huh-huh-huh.

Apropos of nothing, the weather here has been fucking with my brain of late. For four days last week, we had highs in the 90s, which is unusual here, or at least it used to be. Without central AC, of course, living with 90s outside means living with 90s inside, and it sucks, especially when you try to fall asleep and it’s still hot. Finally, the place where I live remembered that it’s in Maine, and a big storm front came through, and now our highs are in the 50s again with 100% clouds and rain, and I had to put on a sweater this morning, and my poor brain thinks it’s the holiday season. I keep catching myself having the same first half of a thought: “We may have a couple of problems, but at least it’s Christm--oh shit.”

Since I’m expecting this to be one of my last four day weekends, I should endeavor to enjoy the last day of it, so I shall now begin exerting pressure on myself to think of fun things to do, and ultimately spend the day thinking more about what I should do than doing anything. (That really is the most efficient way to get nothing done, I’ve found.) I believe I’m going to have less difficulty filling my weekend with fun diversions, once the weekend is only two days long, the way it is for most people, especially since we can now go to movies and restaurants again. We seem to have survived the plague! Well done, all of us!

More next week. All my love and hugs to you both!

[laraimaustria]

How the $%&@ Do Czech Crowns Work?: Weekend in Prague

I just got back from our weekend trip to Prague! For some reason I always wanted to go to Prague, so I was really looking forward to our weekend learning about and exploring the city. We left for Prague by bus around 8:30 in the morning. Buses here are not like buses in America, aka not gross. The bus was a double decker and the seats were pretty comfy, plus there was a bathroom on board. I was pleased to discover how not terrible the bus ride was because I will be spending 17 hours on one this Friday when Courtney and I go to Paris. But that’ll be another post. :). The weather forecast predicted rain, but when we arrived around 2:00 in the afternoon it was all sunshine. The hotel was a short walk from the bus station, and honestly it was pretty much the classic hostel experience, as in kind of sticky and way too little personal space. But we weren’t in the hotel for long as we left right away to go on our first tour of the Old Town.  First we stopped in  Wenceslaus Square, where we saw the outside of the National Museum (unfortunately covered in scaffolding) and saw a memorial for two students who set themselves on fire in protest of the communist regime. Hearing the professor who acted as our guide talk about life behind the Iron Curtain was interesting. It’s hard to believe that former communist countries had a vastly different standard of living and experience of government, and I can’t really imagine having something like the Cold War as a constant looming threat. Prague definitely seems like any other Western industrial town now, but every once in a while we saw something a little more run-down and were reminded that not too long ago the situation here was very different.  After leaving the square we stopped in a market and all tried some Trdelník. (Don’t ask me to pronounce it). Oh how do I describe this dessert. Basically they take a long piece of dough, wrap it around a spit and then cook it over a grill until it gets crispy on the outside and nice and soft on the inside. Then they roll it in sugar and slide it off the spit so that it stays in a cylindrical sprial shape. After this you can eat your dough cone plain or get it filled with chocolate, cream, or even ice cream. I’m not kidding when I say that this is probably one of the best desserts I’ve ever had. Dare I say better than churros? We ate one all three days and I don’t regret it at all.  Old Town Prague is OLD. Most European cities have districts where the old buildings have been preserved, but entering old town Prague feels like stepping straight into the Middle Ages or the Renaissance. There are old Gothic towers and cobblestone side streets everywhere, and it would have been perfect despite all the tourists. Millions and millions of tourists, all trying to get the perfect shot of the famous buildings and crowding around the famous Astronomical Clock (which was pretty cool.) After the tour we were free to eat wherever we wanted for dinner, so we decided to eat some authentic Czech food. Czech food is HEAVY. We had pork with red and white cabbage and two kinds of dumplings, along with some Czech beer. Czech beer is supposed to be some of the best in the world but I’m sorry, it all just tastes like wheat that’s been urinated on. Is everyone just pretending to like beer? Can we stop? There are many many better drinks that don’t taste like yeasty trash water. We were all pretty tired after eating the heavy food and walking around all day, so we just headed back to the hotel for some rest.  After a pretty nice free breakfast in the hotel Saturday morning we set out for our second tour of the lesser part of the city across the Moldau river. To do this we walked across the famous Charles Bridge, which has been standing since medieval times. This was one of my favorite parts of the weekend, walking across this huge old bridge with the sun shining on the river and a view of all the old buildings on either side. Again, there were thousands of tourists, but it was still really cool. On the other side of the river we walked past the Lennon Wall, which is a wall dedicated to John Lennon (I guess he visited Prague during the communist times) and is covered in graffiti, mostly created as political protests or statements. Then we saw the baroque church of St. Nicholas, which again would have been one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been in if not for all the scaffolding in side. I’m not kidding when I say almost every old building was under restoration and was at least partially covered by scaffolding. The exception to this was St. Vitus cathedral, and the inside literally took my breath away. All around the cathedral were the most beautiful stained glass windows and high vaulted ceilings. The time it must have taken the medieval architects to build this massive church is astounding. I got some good pictures on my phone, but they would have been even better if my CAMERA BATTERY hadn’t DIED. Guess who forgot to bring the charger? After touring the cathedral and less impressive palace, we separated again until it was time to meet up for the Laterna Magica show, a famous form of Czech theater. The show was a combination of dance, pantomine, and film projections onto a background screen. It was....odd, and kind of like something out of a Tim Burton film, but still very entertaining and interesting to watch. 

After the show we got some dinner and Courtney, Justine, and I tried to go to one of the biggest night clubs in Europe. There are five stories to the club, all with different themed music. It probably would have been really cool, if we had shown up after 11:00 pm with enough money to actually buy more than one drink. The thing about the Czech Republic is that they don’t use the Euro, they use crowns, but everyone accepts Euros anyway. The problem is a lot of the time they’ll give you change in crowns. One US Dollar is equal to about 25 Czech crowns. It was super disorienting to see food that cost 179 and remember that this is actually a pretty reasonable price. But anyway, we didn’t want to end up with a bunch of crowns that become useless after you leave the Czech Republic (the conversion is so weird that you won’t get very much converting them back to Euros) so we were very hesitant to spend our cash. Besides, we didn’t want to stay out too late because we had another tour today at 9:30am. 

This morning we toured the old Jewish quarter of Prague, which was the Jewish ghetto during WWII, but also the Jewish part of town long before that as well. It was nice to see different synagogues through different time periods, as well as a graveyard that hasn’t been used since the 1700′s. However, the whole experience was a little eerie because in one of the synagogues they had the names of every Czech who died in the Holocaust, as well as a collection of pictures made by children in one of the concentration camps. So while touring these beautiful buildings you know that so many of the people who lived here died in the most terrible way. The synagogues, however, truly were lovely, especially the Spanish synagogue which was my favorite. We didn’t really have enough time to go to a museum or anything after our tour, so we went back to the food market, got some very yummy and very garlicky noodles, our last dough cone, and then relaxed in a coffee shop until it was time to get back on the bus. All in all I would say that Prague is a stunning city, and I’m so glad that I got to go and see it. It’s interesting because on the way back to my host’s house all I could think was how comfortable Vienna seems now, how familiar, and how I was even a little relieved to see signs in German again. I guess it’s good that I’m so comfortable in Vienna, it’s nice to have an anchor when you’re spending four months on a continent with hundreds of languages and money that makes your brain hurt. Also: dough cones are the best and it’s a crime that they aren’t on every street corner in the United States. 

[junker-town]

5 winners and 4 losers from the surprisingly fun Pro Bowl

Patrick Mahomes dropped no-look passes and f-bombs, Jason Garrett ISN’T a robot, and Jason Witten is still so bad at announcing. So bad.

Well, there’s officially only one game remaining in the 2018 NFL season. You know, the one at the end with the rings and commercials and Tom Brady. This weekend, the Pro Bowl served as the appetizer, holding us over until the main event on Super Bowl Sunday.

On a chilly, rain-soaked Sunday in central Florida, the AFC blew out the NFC by a score that you probably don’t care about and doesn’t really matter, but we’ll tell you anyway: 26-7. If you think that’s a good omen for the Patriots next week against the Rams, there’s probably no real correlation. The AFC has won three years in a row now, which corresponds to both a Super Bowl win and a Super Bowl loss for New England.

But we have an entire week to talk about Rams-Patriots. Instead, let’s take a moment to appreciate all the weird, wild, and omg why that the 2019 Pro Bowl had to offer.

Here are our five winners and four losers:

Winner: Fun — really!

The Pro Bowl is an easy target for jokes. It basically exists so players can say they were an X-time Pro Bowler and make a little extra money while they wish their team were playing in the Super Bowl the following week. Like, at least preseason football has some stakes.

But if you accept that and don’t pretend the Pro Bowl is anything else, then the Pro Bowl can actually be — dare we say? — fun.

This year was no exception, and the person we have to thank most for that is ... Jason Garrett?!

It started when he lined up Ezekiel Elliott in the shotgun formation so that Zeke could hand the ball off to another running back, Saquon Barkley. But the moment Garrett proved he’s not in fact a robot came later, when he ran a fake punt with Elliott:

Don’t know I’ve ever seen Jason Garrett as excited as he was after a fake punt run by Ezekiel Elliott picked up a first down in the Pro Bowl (Video: @NFL) pic.twitter.com/h3zPHYWrtK

— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) January 27, 2019

Garrett was just getting started, though. He also put Elliott, Barkley, and Alvin Kamara in on defense — and it worked (sorry, Taylor Lewan).

Same thing with receiver Mike Evans, who made a pretty dang good cornerback by coming down with an interception. That also gave us THE most Pro Bowl play ever, and we adored it:

what a great Pro Bowl pic.twitter.com/xET0PhHtao

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) January 27, 2019

Now that’s a delightfully stupid time!

The AFC took its own turn with position changes. Jalen Ramsey lined up at wide receiver and caught a touchdown pass from Deshaun Watson, while Melvin Ingram got just as many carries (and two more yards) as teammate Melvin Gordon.

We also got one Patrick Mahomes no-look attempt, and even though it wasn’t completed, it wouldn’t have felt right if he hadn’t at least tried:

it took roughly 3 minutes for Patrick Mahomes to throw a no-look pass at the Pro Bowl pic.twitter.com/vgP9BxnQ9u

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) January 27, 2019

Next time, JuJu. Next time.

Loser: Anyone trying to throw/catch a ball

Remember when the Pro Bowl was played every year in beautiful, sunny Hawaii? Lol, not anymore. Now it’s in our theme park mecca of Orlando, just up Interstate 4 from Disney World, Epcot Center, SeaWorld (is that still open?), the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and uh, The Holy Land Experience.

That also means there’s a good chance of rain. This year, it was 100 percent, all game long. Andrew Luck, bless his dorky heart, at least thought the weather was “a little bit of fun”:

Checking in with 1⃣2⃣ at the #ProBowl. : ESPN pic.twitter.com/Q1dkLaLHzy

— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) January 27, 2019

Everyone else probably didn’t enjoy it as much. Amari Cooper and Jarvis Landry each had an egregious shoulda-been-a-TD drop, and there were a total of five interceptions in a game where it’s generous to call defense “optional.”

One of those picks was thrown by wide receiver Adam Thielen, who admitted the weather didn’t treat him kindly.

“I was soaking wet, the ball was soaking wet, and the wind was against me. I’m not a man of excuses, but it wasn’t in my favor, that’s for sure,” he said.

Good news: He can now go back to ... Minnesota. In January. With a polar vortex coming.

Winner: The Swear Jar

Patrick Mahomes made the swear jar a little richer after forgetting he was mic’d up, letting an f-bomb slip, and then hilariously realizing his mistake:

Live television >>>>> pic.twitter.com/WKa93vXijZ

— Chase Snyder (@ChasingSnyder) January 27, 2019

He was named offensive MVP for the game — probably because he threw for 156 yards and a touchdown, but we like to think it was a little bit for his “offensive” language too.

Winner: Jamal Adams

If Mitchell Trubisky or Xavien Howard got injured Sunday, Adams could’ve found himself in the loser column. The Jets safety was already the subject of some criticism after he injured the Patriots’ mascot by tackling him at a Pro Bowl practice earlier in the week.

He parlayed that attention into an unrestrained performance in the Pro Bowl where he was all over the field. He blew up Howard when both AFC defensive backs were trying for an interception, and then he laid out Trubisky on a sack.

NFC goes for the flea flicker but @TheAdamsEra says NOPE. : #ProBowl on ESPN + ABC + Disney XD pic.twitter.com/e0CLfp82gB

— NFL (@NFL) January 27, 2019

A few minutes later, Adams hauled in an interception on another ill-advised trick play from the NFC.

.@TheAdamsEra is all over the place. He intercepts @Athielen19 on the double pass : #ProBowl on ESPN + ABC + Disney XD pic.twitter.com/bHrZy3QPU4

— NFL (@NFL) January 27, 2019

Adams was a deserving winner of the Pro Bowl Defensive MVP Award after playing a meaningless exhibition game like his hair was on fire.

Loser: ESPN’s commentary crew

It was a rough year for Jason Witten and Booger McFarland in their first season as the analysts on Monday Night Football. The Pro Bowl gave them one more chance to show how much they learned and grew this season, but nope — it was another reminder to audiences that they’re really not good at this.

Just a few minutes into the game, Witten seemed to suggest that Colts tight end Eric Ebron was one of the favorite targets of Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes all year:

Patrick Mahomes throws a TD pass to Eric Ebron Jason Witten: “Ebron was his guy all year” Good to see Witten in Pro Bowl form pic.twitter.com/Zy4A0lYw9H

— Cameron DaSilva (@camdasilva) January 27, 2019

On the AFC’s next drive, McFarland said he wants to see Mahomes become a player who will drop back in the pocket, scan the field, and go through his progressions. What?! The Chiefs quarterback is probably going to be named the NFL MVP next week because he picked defenses apart all year from the pocket. Did Booger not watch Mahomes at all this year?

ESPN will reportedly bring the same Monday Night Football team back next year, and — for some reason — even had the crew replace their popular Coaches’ Film Room during the college football national championship.

The Pro Bowl should have been a low-pressure, easy situation for the team to show next season will be better. It didn’t.

Oh, and Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy, too.

lovable galoot Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy pic.twitter.com/nXKiNqNvta

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) January 27, 2019

Loser: The Pittsburgh Steelers

JuJu Smith-Schuster limped off the field in the second quarter and never returned on Sunday.

Uh oh. Juju Smith-Schuster came up limping on that last play and is being looked at on the sideline. #ProBowl #Steelers pic.twitter.com/PLV9cwWt3K

— Roto Street Journal (@RotoStJournal) January 27, 2019

The good news is the Steelers have seven months to get him healthy before the preseason starts. The bad news is Pittsburgh needs him as ready as possible now that a potential Antonio Brown-less future looms.

Winner: The NFL’s hoodie sales

A rainy, 45-degree day in Orlando served as prime evidence why this game should never have been moved out of Hawaii. It also made Sunday a banner day for players to rock the timeless hoodie-under-your-jersey look.

Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Jarvis Landry and Keenan Allen both sported the sweatshirt layer in Florida, taking advantage of the fact no defender would care enough to drag them down by their hoods. Eric Ebron wore one too, getting it in a selfie he took with Deshaun Watson on the field while the clocked ticked down on the third quarter.

Winner: The AFC defense

The Pro Bowl is supposed to be a scoring onslaught. Defenses take it easy, don’t tackle much, and play pretty soft coverage.

So why did it take the NFC about 51 minutes to finally get some points on the board? The conference’s first drive of the game got all the way inside the 5-yard line, but the AFC stuffed Kyle Juszczyk on a fourth down to get the goal-line stand. Then the NFC had three consecutive three-and-out drives.

The NFC was down 17-0 at halftime and the second half didn’t start off much better when Mitchell Trubisky threw an awful interception on the first play.

.@ChrisHarrisJR was waiting... PICKED! : #ProBowl on ESPN + ABC + Disney XD pic.twitter.com/Qtf1L912pj

— NFL (@NFL) January 27, 2019

A fourth-quarter touchdown kept the NFC from getting shut out, but the AFC actually played good defense and finished the game with seven sacks and three interceptions.

Loser: Dee Ford

One week ago, Dee Ford’s offsides penalty prevented the Chiefs from clinching a win over the Patriots — if you recall, as I’m sure you do, the Patriots would go on to win the game and make it to the Super Bowl because that’s what always frickin’ happens.

Ford owned the mistake and said he’d use it as motivation to get better.

Wellll, this is maybe not the best start:

This dude never LEARNS SMDH pic.twitter.com/CKO9tvmS9S

— KingStrong (@King_DKP) January 27, 2019

At least this time it didn’t matter.

[nicchiketto]

30K Celebration: Favorite Things

Missed yesterday’s voice reveal? Click HERE.

Here are some of my favorite things~

Favorite Color: Purple

Favorite Foods: Basically anything with carbs in it. Oh, and sweets. I love desserts.

Favorite Animal: Zebras, since I love stripes.

Favorite Restaurant: It depends on what I’m in the mood for. I actually don’t really enjoy going to restaurants; it’s stressful for me.

Favorite Type of Shoe: Tennis. I’m too clumsy for heels, and I like to be casual.

Favorite Style of Clothing: I really like Harajuku fashion. Mismatched patterns rock! Aside from that, Lolita fashion’s pretty cool. As for me, I just wear comfy, casual clothes.

Favorite Type of Jewelry: I’m not huge into jewelry, really.

Favorite Scent: Anything sickeningly sweet.

Favorite Taste: I love sweet and salty things! Spicy stuff is just okay-though I am getting more into it.

Favorite Memory: Um, currently it’s that time from last February when I got sick in a parking lot and my best friend and I watched a crow eat it. It was awful, but it still makes us laugh a lot.

Favorite Academic Class: Language Arts, or generally any class where I can write.

Favorite Day of the Week: It’s either Thursday or Friday. Thursday, as it’s nice to know the next day is Friday, and Friday because it’s obviously the day before the weekend.

Favorite Time of Day: Right before I’m falling asleep. I spend that time cuddling with my body pillow and thinking about how wonderful my favorite characters are.

Favorite Month: I’d probably say February, merely because it’s my birthday month. It’s also cold, which is nice.

Favorite Holiday: I’ve always been a sucker for Halloween, but Christmas can be pretty great as well.

Favorite Season: Definitely winter. I actually hate the heat; my body does not tolerate it very well.

Favorite Thing to Do When Happy: I tend to sing and hum a lot when I’m happy. Consequently, I’ve been feeling much better lately, so my throat often hurts the next day.

Favorite Thing to Do When Sad: Taking long, hot showers, I guess. Truthfully, I do this every day-it’s just comforting.

Favorite Thing to Do When Angry: Draw! I love to do vent art.  It makes me feel so much better.

Favorite Quote: “All bleeding stops eventually,” –as said by a weird dermatologist my mother worked with once.

Favorite Movie: I won’t tell you the title of my official ‘favorite movie’ (you’ll thank me later), but I love really bad movies. It’s especially good when they’re not played off as bad.

Favorite Type of Weather: I’m most likely to say snow, but it rarely snows around here. Due to this, I’d probably say rain. The rain is soothing, and helps me sleep. There’s a noisy gutter right outside my window, which I frequently hear water dripping down. It’s annoying to everyone else, but nice to me.

Favorite Website: Aside from this one, probably Youtube.

Favorite Book: I haven’t read it in many years, but it’s a young reader’s novel called ‘Sing Down the Moon’. It’s about a Native American woman who has to leave her homeland. I love the way it describes things, and its simplicity. The plot’s also good; albeit depressing.

Favorite Manga/Anime: I honestly don’t have one; I’ve seen so many amazing ones.

Favorite Drinks: Milkshakes, Shirley Temples and orange soda.

Favorite Hairstyle: I’m not going to lie: I dig twintails. I also really want to have them, but I am not very good at doing more than one ponytail-especially one that looks nice.

Favorite School Activity: Without a doubt, band. I just enjoy playing music, despite how hard it is for me to read it. I consider myself almost ‘music dyslexic’, and rely mainly on auditory mimicry to play pitches and rhythms. It’s not that I don’t know the notes…it’s just that my brain takes a long time to process most of them.

Favorite Type of Homework: Okay, I’ll admit it: I’m a freak who loves writing essays. Of course, I don’t enjoy writing boring essays. The topic has to be interesting to me for me to enjoy it.

Favorite Gift: Sweets. They go to good use. I also love getting cool socks.

Favorite Compliment: I actually hate compliments, as they feel like mockery. However, if I feel like I deserve the compliment, I do enjoy it. The only compliments I like are the ones I feel sort of proud of.

Favorite Insect: My favorite girly, stereotypical insect would be butterflies. However, I also really like bees (not true bugs, but close enough) and spiders. Yes, I like spiders…just not when they surprise me by showing up at random on my ceiling.

Favorite Flower: It’s either the lilac or the heliotrope. Both smell wonderful and are lovely shades of purple. Pitcher plants and Venus fly traps are also pretty cool.

Favorite Shape: It has always been, and always will be, triangles. I don’t have any real reason why. They’ve just been my favorite since I learned what shapes were long, long ago.

Favorite Writing Topic: All of them. There are very few topics that do not interest me in some way or another.

Favorite Book Genre: I like fantasy and realistic fiction. Some romance novels are okay, but they’re not really my thing.

Favorite Type of Movies: Comedies, though I’m not huge into movies. However, if someone puts one on, I will sit down and enjoy it most of the time.

Favorite Breed of Cat: Probably the oriental shorthair. They have such big ears! Munchkin cats are also really cute. Of course, I really love all types of cats-especially my own!

Favorite Breed of Dog: I think huskies are absolutely gorgeous. German shepherds are also pretty cool, too.

Favorite Night Time Activity: I like to lie in my bed, hugging my body pillow. I let my thoughts wander. Usually, I fantasize about meeting my favorite characters and hugging them tightly. It helps me calm down and fall asleep.

Favorite Morning Activity: I usually spend around 30 minutes on weekdays in bed just waking up. Most of the time, I scroll through Tumblr while doing this.

Favorite Design: Stripes!

Favorite Piece of Technology: My old laptop’s pretty great. She might be 4 to 5 years, sort of slow and has an insanely noisy fan (It no longer phases me even remotely), but she’s reliable. Also, she makes weird clicking noises. I like them! I also put a googly eye on her. It’s called art; look it up.

Favorite Normal Eye Color: Green, I suppose.

Favorite Normal Hair Color: I personally like being a brunette (though I’ve never dyed my hair before, so…)

Favorite Gemstone: Amethyst. It’s my gemstone, in fact.

Favorite Cookie: Why must you ask me the hard questions? Aside from chocolate chip, I also really like snickerdoodles. Maybe it’s because of their name. Maybe it’s the cinnamon. Guess what? It’s both.

Favorite Candy: I guess if I had to choose, I’d pick Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups….but I really like almost all candies.

Favorite Dessert: It’s a tie between Key Lime Pie and Cheesecake. Ice cream is also pretty great. No, not pretty great. It’s amazing.

Favorite Meat: I guess I’d have to go with pork, though I have no specific favorite.

Favorite Fruit: I’d probably pick strawberries, though I like bananas and nectarines as well. Ah, and red apples.

Favorite Vegetable: Aside from carrots, I love green onions. They’re just really good, okay? This isn’t homage to Miku, either-I legitimately enjoy them.

Favorite Dairy Product: Definitely ice cream, although if we’re not talking desserts I’d say yogurt.

Favorite Bread: Sourdough!

Store: Shopping actually makes me nervous, so I have no favorite store.

Favorite Sea Animal: I’ve always loved octopi. They’re so intelligent, and they’re clearly aware of showing sass. Also, there are some pretty amazing stories about them escaping tanks. I also think they’re cute, to be honest.

Favorite Type of Phone: I currently have an iPhone. I don’t know if it’s my favorite, but that’s just the brand I was raised around.

Favorite body type: Any. That’s not too important to me.

Favorite Camera: I use my phone’s camera most of the time.

Favorite Way to Listen to Music: I prefer headphones, but I’ve been using earbuds for almost a year now. My headphones only work with my phone, and they’re too big to fit in my bags without smooshing them. As such, I use earbuds. Currently, mine are pink.

Favorite wish: As corny as it is, it would probably be to be writing for a living and married to my sweetheart.

Favorite Childhood Toy: I always liked to use my play doctor kit on stuffed animals. There was no reason for that; I just liked it.

Favorite Video Game: Currently, I’m obsessed with the Binding of Isaac: Rebirth.

Favorite Sport: Ping-pong. It’s intense, and it’s also something I’M good at. Aside from that, I’d say badminton. That’s also really fun.

Favorite Unnatural Eye Color: Without question, I’d say red. I love red eyed characters. They’re the best.

Favorite Unusual Hair Color: I’m not sure. I guess I’d say blue for…..reasons….

Favorite Pillow Shape: Long body pillows. Mine’s actually the same size as me-5’0! It’s nice because I can easily wrap my short arms around her. Oh, and her name’s Pillow-chan. It’s my ironic nickname I’ve given her; she’s just a plain, gray pillow.

Favorite Thing to Sleep In: Regular pajamas. That is, unless I have a fever. Then I typically like to sleep in my underclothes.

Favorite Ice Cream: Mint chip is a gift from above, in my opinion. I also love cookies and cream flavored.

Favorite Cake: Red velvet.

Favorite Pie: Key Lime, like I mentioned earlier. As for fruit pies, I like blackberry/huckleberry ones the best.

Favorite Thing to Do Alone: Simply being alone. Just sitting back and relaxing without anyone to bother me is critical for my sanity as a stressed out introvert. I might love my friends, but I do get tired of being in their presence.

Favorite Thought: Very few people know the answer to this, and I’d like to keep it this way. Anyway, moving on….

Favorite Person to Be With: Does my cat count? If not, I’d say my sweetheart (obviously). We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like to, so we cherish every moment of our time together.

Favorite Way of Receiving Mail: Texts. It’s the easiest for me. It also doesn’t require talking on the phone, which is intimidating for me a lot of the time.

Favorite Type of Chocolate: Milk chocolate, though I love (sweet) dark chocolate and white chocolate as well.

Favorite Number Over 100: 188. No real reason. I just like repeated numbers.

Favorite Number Under 100: 7. I’ve always liked the number 7.

Favorite Form of Entertainment: Internet. It can be used anyway, which is particularly why I like it.

Favorite Body Part (Myself): I love my eyes. My sharp canines are also pretty adorable. My hair’s also nice and soft. See? I’m getting better at this self-esteem thing after all!

Favorite Body Part in General: I like looking into people’s eyes. They’re so pretty and intricate.

Favorite Planet: No offense, but I love Pluto.

Favorite Pet: Personally, I’m a cat person. However, dogs are also pretty great.

Favorite Parent (Closest): I get along better with my mother.

Favorite Sibling (Closest): I only have one, so by default, my older sister.

Favorite Vacation Spot: I like visiting the local beach. It’s simple and cheap. If we’re talking exotic locations, Hawaii is really nice. Well, some of it (not the roads-they’re pretty scary in some places).

Favorite Cave: I’ve only been in one, and I was like 5. I cried. I suppose this means I have no favorite cave….this makes me suddenly very sad…..

Favorite Coffee: I like my coffee very sweet and tame. I’m a wimp when it comes to coffee, really.

Favorite Gum Flavor: Mint. Alternately, that Swedish Fish flavored comedy gum was also really good.

Favorite Lava Lamp Color: Blue, I guess. Both of mine are blue. I have two in my room.

Favorite Future Vacation Spot: Right now my bed’s looking pretty tempting…..

Favorite Thing in My Room: Aside from things I’ve already mentioned, I’d have to say the zebra plushy and the microbe plushy on my desk. The zebra’s from my sweetheart. As for the microbe, I believe my mom got it for me as a joke when I was younger (but I still really love it lol).

Favorite Lesson Learned: You should be close to someone before you start dating them to know if you’re about to make a terrible mistake. Don’t do what I did. Please.

Favorite Cafeteria Food: There is no ‘liking’ cafeteria food. It is cafeteria food. What kind of cafeteria did your school have? No cafeteria I’ve ever been in was that great.

Favorite Picture on my Computer: Uh, the 2,000ish pictures of my favorite character whom I’m too embarrassed to reveal. I’m really shy about the things I secretly love, to be quite honest.

Favorite Word: It’s a tie between my old favorite: loquacious, and my new favorite: tumultuous.

Favorite Daydream: The ones I have about hugging my favorite characters and rocking them to sleep, obviously. Those are the only good daydreams I ever have.

Favorite Writing Utensil: I prefer writing in pen, but I prefer drawing in pencil.

Favorite Coloring Utensil: Markers are pretty cool.

Favorite Makeup Product: The only makeup I use is cover up. I tend to claw at myself to relieve stress subconsciously, so my face takes quite a beating sometimes… :(

Favorite Hair Product: Uh, shampoo? I don’t really use anything else…

Favorite Time to Think: Oh, I’m always thinking. It’s rather unfortunate, really.

Favorite Daring Thing to Do: I don’t DO daring things. My body has adapted to prevent me from doing stupid things. It’s just unfortunate that it does it a little TOO well…

Favorite Type of Light: The sunset, I’d say. Other than that, I’d go with regular light bulbs.

Favorite Beach Activity: Since I can barely swim, I like to walk along the shoreline and look for seashells and sand dollars.

Favorite Mountain Activity: I’ve actually never been on a mountain before. I should do that.

Favorite Snow Activity: I’ll be honest….I love running out in the snow and trying to catch snowflakes with my tongue.

List from brokenhime of Live Journal

[thefrostfalgar]

Day 3: Skype

Skipping the U because i’m forever alone~~ lel no it was because my schedule is so mean!

enjoy x)

Eustass Kid rushed to the small, temporary apartment on the outer part of the nowhereland he had spent his last three weeks in. His pale skin turned pinkish, almost as red as his hair from sunburn.

The redhead sighed as he enter the small room where he spent his night fidgeting / passing out. No, not because he managed to get away from the heat of Tropical Island weather, to an air conned small room that is almost as cold as his small house far north. Instead, he felt relieved for another reason.

A reason that sits neatly in his working desk in the corner of the room.

He hurried himself to sit on the too small chair for his built, but it’s not like he had any option, or even will stay long enough to complain. He opened his laptop, and double click the blue icon with S logo on his desktop screen. “Come on,” he muttered as he thumped his fingers to the table, restless and furious as he glared at the small round animation spinning round and round as they prepare for the app to launch. “Come on,” he muttered again, heart racing from fatigue, anger, and another feeling that he never thought existed until a few weeks ago.

A feeling caused by the absence of certain someone.

Eustass Kid was normally a carefree guy. He was well known as a man who don’t get attached. People come. People go. Time heals shit. Life goes on. That’s basically his motto; in that exact order.

But that was before.

Kid nearly ripped his face in half when the window is ready, showing a picture of a dark skinned, raven-haired guy who glared at the camera that took the picture.

Even better, he saw a round green button below that photo.

Kid almost broke his touchpad hitting the video button. It takes only two rings, before his mostly black screen turned into a full screen hotness of the very olive skinned man in green scrubs.

The man with grey eyes blinked twice, before grinning like a mad man he is.

“Finally!” he said. The picture froze for a second before it gives him the live image of the man he longed for ever since he arrived in this uncivilized hell hole. “Eustass-ya?”

“Yo. Can you hear me?”

“Clearly. Can you hear me?”

“Eustass!” he shouted, too excited to keep his voice down.

“Once again, Eustass is NOT a synonym for perfect. Believe me, I know. I’ve looked in every dictionary I can find,” Law chuckled. Kid laughed with him, unsure of what to say now that they have the long-awaited Skype call. So much to say, so little words he can say. That is another thing only this bastard of a Doctor can do to him.

“But well, hello, stranger,” Law started again. His chuckles reduced into a coy smile.

“Hey, asshole,” Kid replied.

“Is that how you greet someone you haven't seen for days? Reducing them into a certain body part? That’s rude, even for you. But again, I know that means ‘I miss you’ in tough slash retard guy language, huh?”

“Yeah pretty much, yeah.”

Law grinned. “Are you sure you miss me? Or do you only miss that one particular body part of me?” he asked, pretended to hurt but Kid can tell that Trafalgar Law, the smug looking, smart mouthed sexy ass doctor is just as eager as he is. It’s not just baseless statement. He knew because after spending almost a year dating that guy and another half year waking up by his side, he could tell that Trafalgar Law can only pull two expressions; the calm, collected attitude that he shows to the world despite of what he thinks or feels, and the grinning evil face he only show Eustass and some of his close friends only when he’s happy.

And boy, does that hot Doctor grins right now!

“That too,” Kid decided to play along.

“Well, you wouldn’t miss anything if you don’t go half way around the world just to watch your machine drills to the center of the earth,” Trafalgar replied. He propped his head on his folded hand, looking up to the camera innocently. Fuck, Kid just wanted to grab him and kiss him right now, instead of doing a small talk.

“Don’t bullshit me, Trafalgar. You were the one who was so eager to get rid of me the first time.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Eustass-ya. You were the one who can’t stop whining about seeing your machine in action on the actual mining site.”

So much sass. Kid was so thirsty of snarky remarks of his boyfriend, he was so ready to gulp it all. But before he could voice his answer, he could hear a loud, urgent voice from Law’s side.

“Law, we got emergency.”

That got to be Penguin. Again. Shitty little bird.

Law scowled, for the first time looking a little bit tense. “What happened, Pen?”

“Gunshot victim. You’re needed.”

Kid almost groaned in defeat as Penguin speak fluent Grey’s Anatomy to Law. His boyfriend only scowled, nodded, scowled some more, and then turned to him in an obvious guilt.

“I’m sorry, Eustass-ya.”

“Ugh ditch it. People die every day anyway.”

“So cruel, Captain. I thought you date me because I’m a hero that can save lives?”

“I date you because you are a hot piece of ass. Now sit and ditch it.”

Law chuckled. “I won’t be long,” he said. “Be right back. I promise. I love you.”

Before Kid could answer or protest, Law had disappeared from the screen, running away to the emergency unit where he fucking needed. Kid groaned in disappointment, palms pressing his eyes as he realized that based on experience, “Emergency” combined with “you’re needed” from that shitty little bird always means that Law will be locked in the emergency room for hours. Kid got up from his chair, propping his laptop on top of his bed, facing the bathroom’s door so he can still see Law’s office while taking shower. Just in case he got false alarm and get back sooner than Kid predicted. Kid then took off his shirt, standing under the rain of cold water as he mourn his decision to come to this Nowhereville in the middle of unknownland. It was a supervision job that only the machine builder can take. Franky was supposed to be the one that go and supervise the machine, but his wife got pregnant, leaving Kid no choice than to go─well, he did have a choice, but he was so proud of his machine that he can’t resist the opportunity to actually see it in action.

When he relay the news to Trafalgar, he only shrugged. “Go, then. We can always Skype to talk to each other. Saw Pen and Killer does that. It looks like they never separated at all,” then added with a cunning smile. “We can try the hot Skype sessions too.”

But then reality hits hard. Forget Hot Skype sessions. They can barely make any calls, with Kid turned out have to stay in limited service area, where internet signal is rare and weak most of the time. Kid had to purchase signal booster to the nearby city, which took him 2 hours driving in bumpy, slippery dirt road to stabilize the internet. Then, when all is settled and Kid could even watch 10 episodes of Hannibal without any delays, their call attempts were ruined because of time difference. Either Kid fell asleep while waiting for Law to online, or Law never showed up at all with all the emergencies in the hospital, even on weekends.

“13 hours difference sucks!” Kid yelled to the bathroom walls. He decided to get out of the shower, put on his clean shirt and shorts, and lay down on the bed, plugging in his laptop charger with his eyes occasionally glance to the screen. It’s still showing blank white hospital wall on the other side of the world. Law’s office.

Kid put the laptop on his stomach, letting out a small smile as he recalling the moment he first enter Law’s office, doing the not-so-safe-for-work thing. Law always ditched the idea when Kid threw them, but once they were provided with the opportunity, the nasty Doc was always the one who follow through on the ideas.

Kid missed him so much. He should have known that Skype just won’t cut it. He needs the doc. Hell, even this small bed feels too large for him without Law’s body beside him.

“Damn you, Doc,” Kid smiled. “You’re really gonna be the death of me, you know that? I don’t know why I even agreed to this whole 18 weeks away from you. Can barely stand the last 3 weeks. Too bad I can’t just ditch this now. But you, though. You can ditch the patients. People die every day. I will die if we can’t talk more than few lines in the next week. You really got into my skin, aren’t you? You little shit head.”

Out of desperation and sleepiness, Kid continued to blabber randomly.  He’s saying things that he wouldn’t caught say out loud sober, even to save his own life. He kept talking and talking, before ended up fell asleep with skype still on, like he always did the past two weeks.

Kid woke up one hour early the next morning. His laptop still rest on his stomach, but the screen is dead. He yawned, lazily starting his laptop back just to check on his luck with this Skype thing.

But just like many other attempts before, Law is offline at this hour. Probably fell asleep on his laptop too, or too busy focusing his mind on another emergency.

However, this time, he saw that Law left a message.

A video message.

That’s just enough to jolt Kid to full consciousness. He eagerly played the video, which shows Law still in his scrubs, but with heavier eyes. His mouth curved into a wide, cheeky grin. Kid smiled automatically, replying the bastard’s smile even though he’s not actually there to see it.

“Hi, Eustass-ya,” he started. Kid mirrored Law’s smirk. His sleepiness just evaporated. “So, while I’m in the emergency room, Shachi sat on his desk just in front of mine, working the papers from today’s patients. He might heard something. One or two…”

“Law, don’t say my name! I don’t want the Captain kill me the moment he set foot here!” someone yelled in the background, distracting Law from his words. He smiled cunningly through the screen, obviously at Shachi. That pause is enough to make Kid blush hard. Oh, shit. What did he say last night? He did remember saying things. He just can’t remember exactly what, though. Shit. How screwed is he?

“Yeah, anyway, he might heard one or two things of your… confessions to me,” Law paused for a moment. His signature move to surprise / kill people with his words. “And might recorded that for me to hear. I must confess, I never thought of you as a romantic type,” he continued. However, he can’t seem to hold the amused smirk anymore. Kid choked on his own saliva. What did that Shachi guy recorded? Fuck. How much did he heard?

“I know tough guy like you don’t say weak things like ‘I miss you’ a lot. Hence why you always say it indirectly. But really, you’re such an idiot,” he shook his head, clearly amused. Shit shit shit. “Since our schedule is making it impossible for us to meet on Skype, say, how about I record a video message like this when I have time, and you recorded yours when you have time? But I promise, it would only be for a while. I’m booking a plane ticket departing next month. So don’t sulk about it anymore. Or sulk. I don’t care. I’ll punish you for humiliating me with those lovey dovey words either way,” he laughed, almost evilly while Kid widened his eyes. 

Holy shit! He’s gonna come here, to the middle of nowhere?

“By the way, I think I found your absence irritating too,” Law said, in a softer voice. “So see you next time. Record something nice for me to wake up to, will you?”

And with that, the video time indicator hits the right part of the screen and the video stopped. Kid set up his laptop camera, and hit the record button.  

“Nice, Doc. Now it's gonna be hard for me to beat that big surprise of yours. The only thing big around here is something in my pants but that's not a surprise for you anymore. So instead, to celebrate the news of you coming here…” 

[bradley-hand]

Success Story: She Got Him Back Without Completing No Contact

Today I talk to Jenny who got her ex back without fully completing a no contact rule. I found her situation completely fascinating because she’s a bit of a unicorn.

The no contact rule without a doubt is one of the premier strategies in the industry so when someone succeeds without out I’m always interested in their approach.

Technically Jenny did do a no contact rule but not the original timeframe she had set out to complete.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz

How Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without No Contact

Chris Seiter: All right. Today we have brought on Jenny, one of our success stories from our private Facebook group. Before we started recording, I was telling her that she’s a bit of a unicorn because she didn’t follow the exact strategy with no contact, and she’s one of those rare people that got her ex back. We’re going to basically sit down with her for 35 to 45 minutes, and just interview her, and figure out what she did to successfully get her ex back. By her own admission, it seems like she still can’t believe she got him back, which is kind of awesome. How are you doing, Jenny?

Jenny: I’m doing great. I’m glad it’s Friday. The sun is shining today. Having a really good day.

Chris Seiter: We were talking a little bit. You said the weekend looks like it’s going to be a bit rainy in your side of the states. Hopefully, sometimes the weather might get it wrong.

Jenny: We need a little bit of rain for some flowers, so I’m okay with it.

Chris Seiter: That’s true. My grass is dying outside because of a lack of rain. I’m hoping it rains. Anyways, why don’t you take me back to the beginning? Give me a little bit of a briefing on your past relationship with your ex because you had mentioned before we started recording that it was a little bit rocky a couple of times before.

Jenny: Yes. It has not been a perfect relationship. We’ve been together almost three years now. Last summer, we actually made the decision for him to move in with me. During that time that he lived with me, that’s when the pandemic happened. Not only were we first living together for the first time, but then we were kind of forced to stay together for a long time. During that time, there was kids involved, his kids, my kids. We just got really rocky, really fast.

Jenny: He actually ended up moving out and getting his own place, but we ultimately decided to stay together still, which it was like taking a step backwards to take a step forward. Then I think it was about a month or so ago. We were just having a conversation. At one point, during the conversation, he was just like, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenny: I was completely blindsided. I didn’t understand. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? We were just fine a couple days ago. In fact, we had gone to the park with our kids. When it comes to our kids, it’s a really serious, serious situation. I was kind of confused, and blindsided, and really hurt, and didn’t understand. Immediately, in that moment, I was doing the grasping for straws, just begging, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. What are you doing? You’re my person.”

Jenny: Then after that, it was just silence. I didn’t hear from him at all, which is completely unlike us. We talk every day. Then the hurt just kept coming. I’m even more confused, and more hurt, and just didn’t understand. Now we don’t live together, so it’s not like I can just reach out to him. I had all those thoughts of, do I go to his house? Do I go to where he works? That whole stalker mentality starts sinking into your brain.

Jenny: I was like, “What am I going to do? This is my person. This is my future.” In the past, I was kind of that person, the chaser, going after them, and begging, and just doing that whole thing that we always do. I think it was day three. I found your program online. I immediately was like, well, I don’t know if I really want to go through with this. I don’t know if this is for me. I was reading some of the videos. I literally read every single article. I think there’s 600 or something like that.

Chris Seiter: 600 articles, yes.

Jenny: I read all of them.

Chris Seiter: I’m actually in the process of redoing some of them since they’re a little outdated. Before we actually started reviewing or interviewing, that’s literally what I was doing. Someone who reads 600 articles… I can barely read them myself, and I’m going through them. I tip my cap to you. That’s impressive.

Jenny: I was just in that desperation phase. What am I going to do? How do I do this? What is he thinking?

Chris Seiter: Did you bookmark the website or something?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: That’s crazy.

Jenny: I have two tabs at work. I was working on one and then reading on another.

Chris Seiter: The ultimate multi-tasker.

Jenny: I had to do something with my time.

Chris Seiter: Well, I guess that’s kind of a productive outlet. You’re learning.

Jenny: Yes. I was desperate. I didn’t know.

Chris Seiter: Did you do the same thing with the videos?

Jenny: I actually didn’t watch them as I was reading just because I was at work, and I can’t do video and work at the same time.

Chris Seiter: Oh yes. That kind of gives away the whole secretive…

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: You’re supposed to be working.

Jenny: Right. I actually didn’t start watching the videos until I got the program. I would read, and watch the video, and then read the PDF. That’s just kind of what I was doing with my time. I didn’t realize time was passing as I was reading. Then all of a sudden, it was a week later. Then I was in the Facebook group. People kept posting stuff. I was like, yes. I’m like, “Oh, I’m with that. I’m right there with you. I know exactly how you feel.”

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: I really think that the Facebook group was something that really helped me, too, because seeing people go through the exact same thing I was going through, struggling with the exact same feelings I was struggling with, just kind of having that support system of, okay, I’m not crazy. Other people are doing this too.

Chris Seiter: This is normal.

Jenny: Yes, this is normal. Then just being able to also see what other people are saying or doing that is working or not working… I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to do that.

Chris Seiter: Yes. We get a lot of that. Right, right, right.

Jenny: That was really my goal. Then I got to the point of the ungettable girl topic. The way that I saw that was, no one would want to be with someone that’s begging, and sad, and crying. I need to make sure that I’m emitting this kind of secure relationship vibe out to the world. Whether he sees that or someone else sees that, I wanted that to be me. They say success is not linear, or grieving is not linear, or whatever is not linear. That’s exactly how it felt. Some days, I was bad-ass, and I could do this. It’d be fine. Then the next day, I was in my bed with the ice cream.

Chris Seiter: I think that’s so normal too.

Jenny: It is.

Chris Seiter: It’s so overlooked for a lot of people. Everyone always thinks it’s just, one day after the next, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be building up that ungettable mentality, but no. It’s like two days in a row and then one day, something happens. You’re just down in the dumps. Then you kind of have to get back up on the horse. It just kind of is this… I mean, yes.

Jenny: For me, it was little triggers. I would find something. I have this note that he wrote me on my desk that I look at all the time.

Chris Seiter: Oh no. Right. You look at it, right?

Jenny: I was like, right? I was like, why would he write this if he didn’t mean it?

Chris Seiter: I mean, what’s interesting about the whole thing from what I’m hearing about your situation so far was how out of the blue it seemed. I kind of imagine, from his perspective, it must have been percolating for a while. If I’m him, I think maybe he’s having trouble… He has the idea, almost like… I watched Inception the other day. It’s top of mind right now. The whole movie is about planting an idea in this guy’s head, and it kind of grows.

Jenny: Kind of grow it.

Chris Seiter: Consumes him, right. I’m thinking your ex, when that breakup happened, because it was so out of the blue, and it was just almost in the middle of a conversation, which is kind of wild, it must’ve been really percolating inside and growing until it finally bubbled up. He just couldn’t let it out anymore, or couldn’t contain it anymore, and had to let it out. I’m kind of curious. Once we get through your situation, if you actually asked him what his experience was with that because I think that could help a lot of people who are in a similar situation, whose exes just sort of cold-cocked them out of the blue.

Jenny: Out of nowhere, yes. We didn’t talk. I tried to do the social media rules where I was supposed to say things about myself. I bought myself tickets to this art show that I’d been wanting to go to for a long time.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s pretty rad.

Jenny: I went with my friends, which I’m not a big go-to-a-club-or-a-bar kind of person, but I went out with my friends.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: Then I went to a outside concert with my parents. I was just in the sun. It was a blues show, and it was just so relaxing. In those moments, I was okay. I was fine. I was having a good time. I felt happy or in my zone. I looked that way from the outside.

Jenny: Later on, he did admit, “I was stalking you. I watched all your stuff.” During that time, I started posting… I’m a big TikTok user. I actually started doing a daily TikTok every day of something positive, a positive quote or a positive uplifting message. I actually started doing it for myself so that I could inspire myself or inspire others. When you do that, you can post it on all your social media.

Jenny: He was seeing those videos and was… Later on, he had mentioned, “I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seem so happy.” I was like, “No. Sometimes but not all the time.” My idea was just, I need to be positive. I need to have this positive energy. That’s what I want back. That’s how I want that positive energy back.

Jenny: It was hard. It was definitely hard. What initially ended up happening was I was reading all this stuff on the Facebook group. Everyone’s like, no contact, no contact. He had sent me a message, “Hey.” Because right after the breakup, I was like, “Let’s talk. Let’s meet for some coffee or something.”

Chris Seiter: Right. He was not having it.

Jenny: He was like, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Chris Seiter: How much time had passed before this all occurs?

Jenny: Probably a couple weeks, at least three weeks. I mean, I was getting there.

Chris Seiter: Three weeks. Oh, it’s 21 days. That’s almost kind of a smaller little no-contact.

Jenny: The short one.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: He sends me this text message. He’s like, “I want to meet up with you, or are you open to meet up?” At first, I wasn’t going to reply at all because you’re not supposed to reply at all, but I was just kind of like, “Well, I’m actually busy next week. I can’t really meet with you,” which to him… He immediately responded, “Oh, well, I just want you to know that I’m available whenever you need to meet or whenever is good for you.” He wanted me to know he was available.

Chris Seiter: You literally told him that you were busy, but you can meet him next week.

Jenny: Yes. I was like, “Maybe next week.”

Chris Seiter: That’s pretty clever tactic.

Jenny: I did not have plans.

Chris Seiter: Of course. Right. It’s all a game, but hey, he broke up with you.

Jenny: That’s right.

Chris Seiter: Hey, you can play a little games back.

Jenny: You can wait.

Chris Seiter: What happened?

Jenny: That was really, really hard because I did want to talk to him. I did want to see him. I did want to say all the things I’ve been wanting to say. It was really hard to kind of play that game. I’ve been journaling every day and writing all the things down that I want to say. Ultimately, in the end, I didn’t end up saying any of those things that I had written down.

Chris Seiter: It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: You write it all down. You’re like, okay, this is the perfect thing to say, but when you’re in the moment, it’s kind of like, what was that again?

Jenny: Yes. It was very interesting. It was probably a couple days after. It was the weekend after he had sent that text saying he wanted to meet up. I was just sitting there in my bed journaling. I had this really, really strong feeling that I wanted to say something. You have those throughout the whole time. You want to text. You want to call. You want to see him or whatever. This time, it just felt really different. I didn’t really want him to say, I love you or let’s meet up. I just wanted to reach out somehow.

Jenny: I just sent a text. It was 9:00 at night. I said just in a text. I was just like, “I just want you to know I’m thinking about you.” That was it. No, let’s talk. No, let’s have a conversation. Just, I just want you to know you’re on my mind, kind of thing. I’m finishing journaling. I’m sitting there in my bed journaling, and my phone goes off, which I know he’s replied to me. I’m like, I’m not going to answer that right now. I’m just going to finish journaling. I’m doing everything, getting ready for bed.

Jenny: I finally look at my phone. He was asking me about my weekend, or how I was doing, and that I look so happy. I was just like, “Well, I’m just sitting here journaling. I’m not doing anything serious.” Then either he said or I said, “Do you want to text right now?” In my head, I’m thinking, “I kind of want to go to bed.” I was like, “Okay. I’ll text-

Chris Seiter: He was not your first priority.

Jenny: No.

Chris Seiter: Sleep was your first priority, which is kind of the beauty.

Jenny: Right. I was like, “Well, I’ll text for a little bit, but I’m going to be going to bed soon.” It was small talk, that little value chain of just small talk. “Oh, what’d you do this weekend?” that kind of thing. “Oh, I went to a show with my parents,” or whatever. Then out of the blue, he was like, “Can I tell you what I’m thinking right now?” I’m like, “Okay, sure.” He’s like, “I really just want to come over to your house and tell you what I need to tell you because there’s some things I want to say to you and then I can just leave.”

Jenny: I was like, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know if that’s really a good idea. I talked to my son. I was like, “Hey, he wants to come over. How do you feel about this?” Ultimately, I said, “Okay. Well, you can come over, but we’re going to stand outside on my front porch.”

Chris Seiter: Sit outside.

Jenny: You can’t come in. He did. He came over. It was 10:00 at night. He came over. It’s a 35-minute drive from his place. He stood outside. He said all the things. He said, “I want to be with you. I miss you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I told my kids that I want to move in with you at the end of my lease. I still want to marry you in two years,” all these things.

Jenny: Again, all the things that I’d written down just flew out of my brain. I’m like, “Oh, okay,” completely shocked that this is what he’s telling me because at the time, I’m expecting him to just say, “Look, this is my life. I don’t really think this is where it’s going or whatever.” I really stood my ground. I was like, “Well, that sounds good. I want that too. Let’s just kind of see where this goes.” Then he left. There was no him coming inside. There was no sleepover, none of that.

Chris Seiter: It ended abruptly, and then it began again extremely abruptly.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Then he just left. It’s kind of like a drive-by proposal, and then he’s out of it.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: That’s hilarious.

Jenny: We just sat outside, and he told me all these things. I was like, “Well, I’ve been missing you too. I really want to be with you. I’ve been waiting for us to talk or whatever.” It’s kind of like, we not necessarily picked up where we left off, but even in a better spot now because we have all these plans that we’re doing. He’s been sending me houses that he’s wanting to possibly go look at this summer.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s exciting.

Jenny: We had dinner.

Chris Seiter: Also, a little bit scary. Are you nervous about that?

Jenny: We had talked about it before the breakup. It wasn’t completely shocking, but it was kind of… He had gone from the iffy, “Well, maybe,” to, “Okay, let’s look at this house.”

Chris Seiter: Well, what’s interesting about the situation to me is mostly how it ended. Did you ever have an opportunity to sit down with your boyfriend and say, “What was going through your mind when you broke up with me?”

Jenny: I did. What he claimed was going through his mind is there was something that he had been kind of struggling on a personal level that he hadn’t… I guess he just was kind of scared to tell me. Instead of wanting to tell me, he just kind of was like, “Well, I’m just going to keep you from it. I’m just going to leave you.”

Chris Seiter: It’s classical avoidant approach to the-

Jenny: Oh my gosh, yes.

Chris Seiter: Is that in line with his personality? Is he kind of more of like an avoidant type tendencies?

Jenny: Yes, he is. When we would get in a fight, he was the one that needed space and didn’t want to talk. I’d have to sit around, and wait, and wait for him to get ready to talk. It is in line with his personality in that if he’s dealing with something, I’ll find out later on down the road. I’m not going to find out if he’s got-

Chris Seiter: He’s like, “I’m going to deal with it myself. I don’t need help from anyone.”

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Which is really classic avoidant attachment. They’re very independent, so they feel like they can deal with the problems themselves. They don’t want to include anyone else to help them. Of course, you seem like the kind that would love to help solve problems. In some ways, that’s an avoidant’s worst nightmare because they’re like, “No, I can do it myself.” They push you away.

Chris Seiter: I don’t think this is a case of, the grass is greener, where he thinks, “Oh, I could find someone better.” I think this is a case of, you’re getting a little too close. I’m getting scared, so I’m going to push you away. Then now that he’s away, he starts to have nostalgic reverie based on your past relationship. He’s like, “Oh crap. What have I done?” He regrets the decision. He comes back. Do you think that’s in line with what happened, or is there an element that I’m missing here?

Jenny: No. I mean, it sounds pretty right on. He was very like, “I want to deal with this myself.” Then after having some time away, he’s like, “I really need you. I really need you in my life.” Not to his own fault, but I’m the kind of person that I kind of have to put up a boundary. I’m not going to do this for you. You have to figure this out on your own because I want to help so hard. That’s something that I have to work on myself, is I want to help you, but I can’t do it for you.

Chris Seiter: I don’t know about you, but I was always taught, maybe from viewing my parents, that when couples are having struggles, you help each other, right? For me, when I would start dating and date someone who had avoidant tendencies, it was almost like help… I wanted to get in there and solve the problem. It took me a long time to realize, like what you said, you have to almost stop yourself and be like, no, they have to solve the problem.

Chris Seiter: A lot of times, I’d be dating someone. They’d be crying. I’d be like, “Why are you crying? I’ll fix it. What’s wrong?” It was really hard for me to sit back and be like, I need to let them feel what they’re feeling. Do you feel like there was any of that where you’re like me, where you’re just like, “No, I’m going to help solve the problem,” and then just sort of backing up and being, no, I’m going to let them feel what they’re feeling?

Jenny: I am that person. I’m the, please don’t cry. What can I do to help you?

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: How do we use fix this? I’m that person. He’s kind of the opposite, in that, “Oh, you’re crying. Maybe I should just give you some space.”

Chris Seiter: My wife is the same way. I don’t really cry that much, but when something’s bothering me… A classic example is when someone gets sick or when my wife gets sick, if I try to help her, she’s like, “No, stop.” If I get sick, I’m like, “No. No, come help. Dote on me.”

Jenny: Do all the things.

Chris Seiter: Right, yes.

Jenny: That’s pretty much the same for us too. I think in the opposite way, he wants to do it himself. He’s fine by himself, doesn’t need help. Then ultimately, when you get there, you’re like, okay, maybe I do need your help. Maybe I do want you here. We got to the point where he admitted that he was struggling. I said, “Well, I can’t fix this for you, or I’m not going to fix this for you, but I’m still here. I’m still here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, even if it’s just me just sitting next to you so you’re not sitting by yourself.”

Jenny: Ultimately, I think that’s where we got to. It was, again, like you said, very unexpected in that it happened and very unexpected in the way that we got back together too. I had gotten to that point where I was like, is this ever going to happen? Is he ever going to reach out? I definitely had those moments where I didn’t know for sure what was going to happen.

Chris Seiter: Were you ever at a point emotionally, because I hear this a lot from success stories where they get to this point where they’re just… They’ve been through enough period of no contact without hearing from their ex. Things maybe are not going the way they were expecting. They’re sitting there and thinking to themselves, “You know what? I just don’t care about getting them back anymore.” They kind of confront that reality, and they’re okay with it. Was there ever a point that you got to where you felt that way?

Jenny: I would probably say no, just because in the..

More Relationship Tips Here

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Success Story: She Got Him Back Without Completing No Contact

Today I talk to Jenny who got her ex back without fully completing a no contact rule. I found her situation completely fascinating because she’s a bit of a unicorn.

The no contact rule without a doubt is one of the premier strategies in the industry so when someone succeeds without out I’m always interested in their approach.

Technically Jenny did do a no contact rule but not the original timeframe she had set out to complete.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz

How Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without No Contact

Chris Seiter: All right. Today we have brought on Jenny, one of our success stories from our private Facebook group. Before we started recording, I was telling her that she’s a bit of a unicorn because she didn’t follow the exact strategy with no contact, and she’s one of those rare people that got her ex back. We’re going to basically sit down with her for 35 to 45 minutes, and just interview her, and figure out what she did to successfully get her ex back. By her own admission, it seems like she still can’t believe she got him back, which is kind of awesome. How are you doing, Jenny?

Jenny: I’m doing great. I’m glad it’s Friday. The sun is shining today. Having a really good day.

Chris Seiter: We were talking a little bit. You said the weekend looks like it’s going to be a bit rainy in your side of the states. Hopefully, sometimes the weather might get it wrong.

Jenny: We need a little bit of rain for some flowers, so I’m okay with it.

Chris Seiter: That’s true. My grass is dying outside because of a lack of rain. I’m hoping it rains. Anyways, why don’t you take me back to the beginning? Give me a little bit of a briefing on your past relationship with your ex because you had mentioned before we started recording that it was a little bit rocky a couple of times before.

Jenny: Yes. It has not been a perfect relationship. We’ve been together almost three years now. Last summer, we actually made the decision for him to move in with me. During that time that he lived with me, that’s when the pandemic happened. Not only were we first living together for the first time, but then we were kind of forced to stay together for a long time. During that time, there was kids involved, his kids, my kids. We just got really rocky, really fast.

Jenny: He actually ended up moving out and getting his own place, but we ultimately decided to stay together still, which it was like taking a step backwards to take a step forward. Then I think it was about a month or so ago. We were just having a conversation. At one point, during the conversation, he was just like, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenny: I was completely blindsided. I didn’t understand. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? We were just fine a couple days ago. In fact, we had gone to the park with our kids. When it comes to our kids, it’s a really serious, serious situation. I was kind of confused, and blindsided, and really hurt, and didn’t understand. Immediately, in that moment, I was doing the grasping for straws, just begging, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. What are you doing? You’re my person.”

Jenny: Then after that, it was just silence. I didn’t hear from him at all, which is completely unlike us. We talk every day. Then the hurt just kept coming. I’m even more confused, and more hurt, and just didn’t understand. Now we don’t live together, so it’s not like I can just reach out to him. I had all those thoughts of, do I go to his house? Do I go to where he works? That whole stalker mentality starts sinking into your brain.

Jenny: I was like, “What am I going to do? This is my person. This is my future.” In the past, I was kind of that person, the chaser, going after them, and begging, and just doing that whole thing that we always do. I think it was day three. I found your program online. I immediately was like, well, I don’t know if I really want to go through with this. I don’t know if this is for me. I was reading some of the videos. I literally read every single article. I think there’s 600 or something like that.

Chris Seiter: 600 articles, yes.

Jenny: I read all of them.

Chris Seiter: I’m actually in the process of redoing some of them since they’re a little outdated. Before we actually started reviewing or interviewing, that’s literally what I was doing. Someone who reads 600 articles… I can barely read them myself, and I’m going through them. I tip my cap to you. That’s impressive.

Jenny: I was just in that desperation phase. What am I going to do? How do I do this? What is he thinking?

Chris Seiter: Did you bookmark the website or something?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: That’s crazy.

Jenny: I have two tabs at work. I was working on one and then reading on another.

Chris Seiter: The ultimate multi-tasker.

Jenny: I had to do something with my time.

Chris Seiter: Well, I guess that’s kind of a productive outlet. You’re learning.

Jenny: Yes. I was desperate. I didn’t know.

Chris Seiter: Did you do the same thing with the videos?

Jenny: I actually didn’t watch them as I was reading just because I was at work, and I can’t do video and work at the same time.

Chris Seiter: Oh yes. That kind of gives away the whole secretive…

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: You’re supposed to be working.

Jenny: Right. I actually didn’t start watching the videos until I got the program. I would read, and watch the video, and then read the PDF. That’s just kind of what I was doing with my time. I didn’t realize time was passing as I was reading. Then all of a sudden, it was a week later. Then I was in the Facebook group. People kept posting stuff. I was like, yes. I’m like, “Oh, I’m with that. I’m right there with you. I know exactly how you feel.”

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: I really think that the Facebook group was something that really helped me, too, because seeing people go through the exact same thing I was going through, struggling with the exact same feelings I was struggling with, just kind of having that support system of, okay, I’m not crazy. Other people are doing this too.

Chris Seiter: This is normal.

Jenny: Yes, this is normal. Then just being able to also see what other people are saying or doing that is working or not working… I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to do that.

Chris Seiter: Yes. We get a lot of that. Right, right, right.

Jenny: That was really my goal. Then I got to the point of the ungettable girl topic. The way that I saw that was, no one would want to be with someone that’s begging, and sad, and crying. I need to make sure that I’m emitting this kind of secure relationship vibe out to the world. Whether he sees that or someone else sees that, I wanted that to be me. They say success is not linear, or grieving is not linear, or whatever is not linear. That’s exactly how it felt. Some days, I was bad-ass, and I could do this. It’d be fine. Then the next day, I was in my bed with the ice cream.

Chris Seiter: I think that’s so normal too.

Jenny: It is.

Chris Seiter: It’s so overlooked for a lot of people. Everyone always thinks it’s just, one day after the next, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be building up that ungettable mentality, but no. It’s like two days in a row and then one day, something happens. You’re just down in the dumps. Then you kind of have to get back up on the horse. It just kind of is this… I mean, yes.

Jenny: For me, it was little triggers. I would find something. I have this note that he wrote me on my desk that I look at all the time.

Chris Seiter: Oh no. Right. You look at it, right?

Jenny: I was like, right? I was like, why would he write this if he didn’t mean it?

Chris Seiter: I mean, what’s interesting about the whole thing from what I’m hearing about your situation so far was how out of the blue it seemed. I kind of imagine, from his perspective, it must have been percolating for a while. If I’m him, I think maybe he’s having trouble… He has the idea, almost like… I watched Inception the other day. It’s top of mind right now. The whole movie is about planting an idea in this guy’s head, and it kind of grows.

Jenny: Kind of grow it.

Chris Seiter: Consumes him, right. I’m thinking your ex, when that breakup happened, because it was so out of the blue, and it was just almost in the middle of a conversation, which is kind of wild, it must’ve been really percolating inside and growing until it finally bubbled up. He just couldn’t let it out anymore, or couldn’t contain it anymore, and had to let it out. I’m kind of curious. Once we get through your situation, if you actually asked him what his experience was with that because I think that could help a lot of people who are in a similar situation, whose exes just sort of cold-cocked them out of the blue.

Jenny: Out of nowhere, yes. We didn’t talk. I tried to do the social media rules where I was supposed to say things about myself. I bought myself tickets to this art show that I’d been wanting to go to for a long time.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s pretty rad.

Jenny: I went with my friends, which I’m not a big go-to-a-club-or-a-bar kind of person, but I went out with my friends.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: Then I went to a outside concert with my parents. I was just in the sun. It was a blues show, and it was just so relaxing. In those moments, I was okay. I was fine. I was having a good time. I felt happy or in my zone. I looked that way from the outside.

Jenny: Later on, he did admit, “I was stalking you. I watched all your stuff.” During that time, I started posting… I’m a big TikTok user. I actually started doing a daily TikTok every day of something positive, a positive quote or a positive uplifting message. I actually started doing it for myself so that I could inspire myself or inspire others. When you do that, you can post it on all your social media.

Jenny: He was seeing those videos and was… Later on, he had mentioned, “I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seem so happy.” I was like, “No. Sometimes but not all the time.” My idea was just, I need to be positive. I need to have this positive energy. That’s what I want back. That’s how I want that positive energy back.

Jenny: It was hard. It was definitely hard. What initially ended up happening was I was reading all this stuff on the Facebook group. Everyone’s like, no contact, no contact. He had sent me a message, “Hey.” Because right after the breakup, I was like, “Let’s talk. Let’s meet for some coffee or something.”

Chris Seiter: Right. He was not having it.

Jenny: He was like, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Chris Seiter: How much time had passed before this all occurs?

Jenny: Probably a couple weeks, at least three weeks. I mean, I was getting there.

Chris Seiter: Three weeks. Oh, it’s 21 days. That’s almost kind of a smaller little no-contact.

Jenny: The short one.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: He sends me this text message. He’s like, “I want to meet up with you, or are you open to meet up?” At first, I wasn’t going to reply at all because you’re not supposed to reply at all, but I was just kind of like, “Well, I’m actually busy next week. I can’t really meet with you,” which to him… He immediately responded, “Oh, well, I just want you to know that I’m available whenever you need to meet or whenever is good for you.” He wanted me to know he was available.

Chris Seiter: You literally told him that you were busy, but you can meet him next week.

Jenny: Yes. I was like, “Maybe next week.”

Chris Seiter: That’s pretty clever tactic.

Jenny: I did not have plans.

Chris Seiter: Of course. Right. It’s all a game, but hey, he broke up with you.

Jenny: That’s right.

Chris Seiter: Hey, you can play a little games back.

Jenny: You can wait.

Chris Seiter: What happened?

Jenny: That was really, really hard because I did want to talk to him. I did want to see him. I did want to say all the things I’ve been wanting to say. It was really hard to kind of play that game. I’ve been journaling every day and writing all the things down that I want to say. Ultimately, in the end, I didn’t end up saying any of those things that I had written down.

Chris Seiter: It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: You write it all down. You’re like, okay, this is the perfect thing to say, but when you’re in the moment, it’s kind of like, what was that again?

Jenny: Yes. It was very interesting. It was probably a couple days after. It was the weekend after he had sent that text saying he wanted to meet up. I was just sitting there in my bed journaling. I had this really, really strong feeling that I wanted to say something. You have those throughout the whole time. You want to text. You want to call. You want to see him or whatever. This time, it just felt really different. I didn’t really want him to say, I love you or let’s meet up. I just wanted to reach out somehow.

Jenny: I just sent a text. It was 9:00 at night. I said just in a text. I was just like, “I just want you to know I’m thinking about you.” That was it. No, let’s talk. No, let’s have a conversation. Just, I just want you to know you’re on my mind, kind of thing. I’m finishing journaling. I’m sitting there in my bed journaling, and my phone goes off, which I know he’s replied to me. I’m like, I’m not going to answer that right now. I’m just going to finish journaling. I’m doing everything, getting ready for bed.

Jenny: I finally look at my phone. He was asking me about my weekend, or how I was doing, and that I look so happy. I was just like, “Well, I’m just sitting here journaling. I’m not doing anything serious.” Then either he said or I said, “Do you want to text right now?” In my head, I’m thinking, “I kind of want to go to bed.” I was like, “Okay. I’ll text-

Chris Seiter: He was not your first priority.

Jenny: No.

Chris Seiter: Sleep was your first priority, which is kind of the beauty.

Jenny: Right. I was like, “Well, I’ll text for a little bit, but I’m going to be going to bed soon.” It was small talk, that little value chain of just small talk. “Oh, what’d you do this weekend?” that kind of thing. “Oh, I went to a show with my parents,” or whatever. Then out of the blue, he was like, “Can I tell you what I’m thinking right now?” I’m like, “Okay, sure.” He’s like, “I really just want to come over to your house and tell you what I need to tell you because there’s some things I want to say to you and then I can just leave.”

Jenny: I was like, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know if that’s really a good idea. I talked to my son. I was like, “Hey, he wants to come over. How do you feel about this?” Ultimately, I said, “Okay. Well, you can come over, but we’re going to stand outside on my front porch.”

Chris Seiter: Sit outside.

Jenny: You can’t come in. He did. He came over. It was 10:00 at night. He came over. It’s a 35-minute drive from his place. He stood outside. He said all the things. He said, “I want to be with you. I miss you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I told my kids that I want to move in with you at the end of my lease. I still want to marry you in two years,” all these things.

Jenny: Again, all the things that I’d written down just flew out of my brain. I’m like, “Oh, okay,” completely shocked that this is what he’s telling me because at the time, I’m expecting him to just say, “Look, this is my life. I don’t really think this is where it’s going or whatever.” I really stood my ground. I was like, “Well, that sounds good. I want that too. Let’s just kind of see where this goes.” Then he left. There was no him coming inside. There was no sleepover, none of that.

Chris Seiter: It ended abruptly, and then it began again extremely abruptly.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Then he just left. It’s kind of like a drive-by proposal, and then he’s out of it.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: That’s hilarious.

Jenny: We just sat outside, and he told me all these things. I was like, “Well, I’ve been missing you too. I really want to be with you. I’ve been waiting for us to talk or whatever.” It’s kind of like, we not necessarily picked up where we left off, but even in a better spot now because we have all these plans that we’re doing. He’s been sending me houses that he’s wanting to possibly go look at this summer.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s exciting.

Jenny: We had dinner.

Chris Seiter: Also, a little bit scary. Are you nervous about that?

Jenny: We had talked about it before the breakup. It wasn’t completely shocking, but it was kind of… He had gone from the iffy, “Well, maybe,” to, “Okay, let’s look at this house.”

Chris Seiter: Well, what’s interesting about the situation to me is mostly how it ended. Did you ever have an opportunity to sit down with your boyfriend and say, “What was going through your mind when you broke up with me?”

Jenny: I did. What he claimed was going through his mind is there was something that he had been kind of struggling on a personal level that he hadn’t… I guess he just was kind of scared to tell me. Instead of wanting to tell me, he just kind of was like, “Well, I’m just going to keep you from it. I’m just going to leave you.”

Chris Seiter: It’s classical avoidant approach to the-

Jenny: Oh my gosh, yes.

Chris Seiter: Is that in line with his personality? Is he kind of more of like an avoidant type tendencies?

Jenny: Yes, he is. When we would get in a fight, he was the one that needed space and didn’t want to talk. I’d have to sit around, and wait, and wait for him to get ready to talk. It is in line with his personality in that if he’s dealing with something, I’ll find out later on down the road. I’m not going to find out if he’s got-

Chris Seiter: He’s like, “I’m going to deal with it myself. I don’t need help from anyone.”

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Which is really classic avoidant attachment. They’re very independent, so they feel like they can deal with the problems themselves. They don’t want to include anyone else to help them. Of course, you seem like the kind that would love to help solve problems. In some ways, that’s an avoidant’s worst nightmare because they’re like, “No, I can do it myself.” They push you away.

Chris Seiter: I don’t think this is a case of, the grass is greener, where he thinks, “Oh, I could find someone better.” I think this is a case of, you’re getting a little too close. I’m getting scared, so I’m going to push you away. Then now that he’s away, he starts to have nostalgic reverie based on your past relationship. He’s like, “Oh crap. What have I done?” He regrets the decision. He comes back. Do you think that’s in line with what happened, or is there an element that I’m missing here?

Jenny: No. I mean, it sounds pretty right on. He was very like, “I want to deal with this myself.” Then after having some time away, he’s like, “I really need you. I really need you in my life.” Not to his own fault, but I’m the kind of person that I kind of have to put up a boundary. I’m not going to do this for you. You have to figure this out on your own because I want to help so hard. That’s something that I have to work on myself, is I want to help you, but I can’t do it for you.

Chris Seiter: I don’t know about you, but I was always taught, maybe from viewing my parents, that when couples are having struggles, you help each other, right? For me, when I would start dating and date someone who had avoidant tendencies, it was almost like help… I wanted to get in there and solve the problem. It took me a long time to realize, like what you said, you have to almost stop yourself and be like, no, they have to solve the problem.

Chris Seiter: A lot of times, I’d be dating someone. They’d be crying. I’d be like, “Why are you crying? I’ll fix it. What’s wrong?” It was really hard for me to sit back and be like, I need to let them feel what they’re feeling. Do you feel like there was any of that where you’re like me, where you’re just like, “No, I’m going to help solve the problem,” and then just sort of backing up and being, no, I’m going to let them feel what they’re feeling?

Jenny: I am that person. I’m the, please don’t cry. What can I do to help you?

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: How do we use fix this? I’m that person. He’s kind of the opposite, in that, “Oh, you’re crying. Maybe I should just give you some space.”

Chris Seiter: My wife is the same way. I don’t really cry that much, but when something’s bothering me… A classic example is when someone gets sick or when my wife gets sick, if I try to help her, she’s like, “No, stop.” If I get sick, I’m like, “No. No, come help. Dote on me.”

Jenny: Do all the things.

Chris Seiter: Right, yes.

Jenny: That’s pretty much the same for us too. I think in the opposite way, he wants to do it himself. He’s fine by himself, doesn’t need help. Then ultimately, when you get there, you’re like, okay, maybe I do need your help. Maybe I do want you here. We got to the point where he admitted that he was struggling. I said, “Well, I can’t fix this for you, or I’m not going to fix this for you, but I’m still here. I’m still here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, even if it’s just me just sitting next to you so you’re not sitting by yourself.”

Jenny: Ultimately, I think that’s where we got to. It was, again, like you said, very unexpected in that it happened and very unexpected in the way that we got back together too. I had gotten to that point where I was like, is this ever going to happen? Is he ever going to reach out? I definitely had those moments where I didn’t know for sure what was going to happen.

Chris Seiter: Were you ever at a point emotionally, because I hear this a lot from success stories where they get to this point where they’re just… They’ve been through enough period of no contact without hearing from their ex. Things maybe are not going the way they were expecting. They’re sitting there and thinking to themselves, “You know what? I just don’t care about getting them back anymore.” They kind of confront that reality, and they’re okay with it. Was there ever a point that you got to where you felt that way?

Jenny: I would probably say no, just because in the..

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[hoynovoy]

Success Story: She Got Him Back Without Completing No Contact

Today I talk to Jenny who got her ex back without fully completing a no contact rule. I found her situation completely fascinating because she’s a bit of a unicorn.

The no contact rule without a doubt is one of the premier strategies in the industry so when someone succeeds without out I’m always interested in their approach.

Technically Jenny did do a no contact rule but not the original timeframe she had set out to complete.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Take the quiz

How Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without No Contact

Chris Seiter: All right. Today we have brought on Jenny, one of our success stories from our private Facebook group. Before we started recording, I was telling her that she’s a bit of a unicorn because she didn’t follow the exact strategy with no contact, and she’s one of those rare people that got her ex back. We’re going to basically sit down with her for 35 to 45 minutes, and just interview her, and figure out what she did to successfully get her ex back. By her own admission, it seems like she still can’t believe she got him back, which is kind of awesome. How are you doing, Jenny?

Jenny: I’m doing great. I’m glad it’s Friday. The sun is shining today. Having a really good day.

Chris Seiter: We were talking a little bit. You said the weekend looks like it’s going to be a bit rainy in your side of the states. Hopefully, sometimes the weather might get it wrong.

Jenny: We need a little bit of rain for some flowers, so I’m okay with it.

Chris Seiter: That’s true. My grass is dying outside because of a lack of rain. I’m hoping it rains. Anyways, why don’t you take me back to the beginning? Give me a little bit of a briefing on your past relationship with your ex because you had mentioned before we started recording that it was a little bit rocky a couple of times before.

Jenny: Yes. It has not been a perfect relationship. We’ve been together almost three years now. Last summer, we actually made the decision for him to move in with me. During that time that he lived with me, that’s when the pandemic happened. Not only were we first living together for the first time, but then we were kind of forced to stay together for a long time. During that time, there was kids involved, his kids, my kids. We just got really rocky, really fast.

Jenny: He actually ended up moving out and getting his own place, but we ultimately decided to stay together still, which it was like taking a step backwards to take a step forward. Then I think it was about a month or so ago. We were just having a conversation. At one point, during the conversation, he was just like, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jenny: I was completely blindsided. I didn’t understand. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore? We were just fine a couple days ago. In fact, we had gone to the park with our kids. When it comes to our kids, it’s a really serious, serious situation. I was kind of confused, and blindsided, and really hurt, and didn’t understand. Immediately, in that moment, I was doing the grasping for straws, just begging, “Don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. What are you doing? You’re my person.”

Jenny: Then after that, it was just silence. I didn’t hear from him at all, which is completely unlike us. We talk every day. Then the hurt just kept coming. I’m even more confused, and more hurt, and just didn’t understand. Now we don’t live together, so it’s not like I can just reach out to him. I had all those thoughts of, do I go to his house? Do I go to where he works? That whole stalker mentality starts sinking into your brain.

Jenny: I was like, “What am I going to do? This is my person. This is my future.” In the past, I was kind of that person, the chaser, going after them, and begging, and just doing that whole thing that we always do. I think it was day three. I found your program online. I immediately was like, well, I don’t know if I really want to go through with this. I don’t know if this is for me. I was reading some of the videos. I literally read every single article. I think there’s 600 or something like that.

Chris Seiter: 600 articles, yes.

Jenny: I read all of them.

Chris Seiter: I’m actually in the process of redoing some of them since they’re a little outdated. Before we actually started reviewing or interviewing, that’s literally what I was doing. Someone who reads 600 articles… I can barely read them myself, and I’m going through them. I tip my cap to you. That’s impressive.

Jenny: I was just in that desperation phase. What am I going to do? How do I do this? What is he thinking?

Chris Seiter: Did you bookmark the website or something?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: That’s crazy.

Jenny: I have two tabs at work. I was working on one and then reading on another.

Chris Seiter: The ultimate multi-tasker.

Jenny: I had to do something with my time.

Chris Seiter: Well, I guess that’s kind of a productive outlet. You’re learning.

Jenny: Yes. I was desperate. I didn’t know.

Chris Seiter: Did you do the same thing with the videos?

Jenny: I actually didn’t watch them as I was reading just because I was at work, and I can’t do video and work at the same time.

Chris Seiter: Oh yes. That kind of gives away the whole secretive…

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: You’re supposed to be working.

Jenny: Right. I actually didn’t start watching the videos until I got the program. I would read, and watch the video, and then read the PDF. That’s just kind of what I was doing with my time. I didn’t realize time was passing as I was reading. Then all of a sudden, it was a week later. Then I was in the Facebook group. People kept posting stuff. I was like, yes. I’m like, “Oh, I’m with that. I’m right there with you. I know exactly how you feel.”

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: I really think that the Facebook group was something that really helped me, too, because seeing people go through the exact same thing I was going through, struggling with the exact same feelings I was struggling with, just kind of having that support system of, okay, I’m not crazy. Other people are doing this too.

Chris Seiter: This is normal.

Jenny: Yes, this is normal. Then just being able to also see what other people are saying or doing that is working or not working… I was like, okay, well, I’m not going to do that.

Chris Seiter: Yes. We get a lot of that. Right, right, right.

Jenny: That was really my goal. Then I got to the point of the ungettable girl topic. The way that I saw that was, no one would want to be with someone that’s begging, and sad, and crying. I need to make sure that I’m emitting this kind of secure relationship vibe out to the world. Whether he sees that or someone else sees that, I wanted that to be me. They say success is not linear, or grieving is not linear, or whatever is not linear. That’s exactly how it felt. Some days, I was bad-ass, and I could do this. It’d be fine. Then the next day, I was in my bed with the ice cream.

Chris Seiter: I think that’s so normal too.

Jenny: It is.

Chris Seiter: It’s so overlooked for a lot of people. Everyone always thinks it’s just, one day after the next, it’s going to be perfect. You’re going to be building up that ungettable mentality, but no. It’s like two days in a row and then one day, something happens. You’re just down in the dumps. Then you kind of have to get back up on the horse. It just kind of is this… I mean, yes.

Jenny: For me, it was little triggers. I would find something. I have this note that he wrote me on my desk that I look at all the time.

Chris Seiter: Oh no. Right. You look at it, right?

Jenny: I was like, right? I was like, why would he write this if he didn’t mean it?

Chris Seiter: I mean, what’s interesting about the whole thing from what I’m hearing about your situation so far was how out of the blue it seemed. I kind of imagine, from his perspective, it must have been percolating for a while. If I’m him, I think maybe he’s having trouble… He has the idea, almost like… I watched Inception the other day. It’s top of mind right now. The whole movie is about planting an idea in this guy’s head, and it kind of grows.

Jenny: Kind of grow it.

Chris Seiter: Consumes him, right. I’m thinking your ex, when that breakup happened, because it was so out of the blue, and it was just almost in the middle of a conversation, which is kind of wild, it must’ve been really percolating inside and growing until it finally bubbled up. He just couldn’t let it out anymore, or couldn’t contain it anymore, and had to let it out. I’m kind of curious. Once we get through your situation, if you actually asked him what his experience was with that because I think that could help a lot of people who are in a similar situation, whose exes just sort of cold-cocked them out of the blue.

Jenny: Out of nowhere, yes. We didn’t talk. I tried to do the social media rules where I was supposed to say things about myself. I bought myself tickets to this art show that I’d been wanting to go to for a long time.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s pretty rad.

Jenny: I went with my friends, which I’m not a big go-to-a-club-or-a-bar kind of person, but I went out with my friends.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: Then I went to a outside concert with my parents. I was just in the sun. It was a blues show, and it was just so relaxing. In those moments, I was okay. I was fine. I was having a good time. I felt happy or in my zone. I looked that way from the outside.

Jenny: Later on, he did admit, “I was stalking you. I watched all your stuff.” During that time, I started posting… I’m a big TikTok user. I actually started doing a daily TikTok every day of something positive, a positive quote or a positive uplifting message. I actually started doing it for myself so that I could inspire myself or inspire others. When you do that, you can post it on all your social media.

Jenny: He was seeing those videos and was… Later on, he had mentioned, “I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seem so happy.” I was like, “No. Sometimes but not all the time.” My idea was just, I need to be positive. I need to have this positive energy. That’s what I want back. That’s how I want that positive energy back.

Jenny: It was hard. It was definitely hard. What initially ended up happening was I was reading all this stuff on the Facebook group. Everyone’s like, no contact, no contact. He had sent me a message, “Hey.” Because right after the breakup, I was like, “Let’s talk. Let’s meet for some coffee or something.”

Chris Seiter: Right. He was not having it.

Jenny: He was like, “No, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Chris Seiter: How much time had passed before this all occurs?

Jenny: Probably a couple weeks, at least three weeks. I mean, I was getting there.

Chris Seiter: Three weeks. Oh, it’s 21 days. That’s almost kind of a smaller little no-contact.

Jenny: The short one.

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: He sends me this text message. He’s like, “I want to meet up with you, or are you open to meet up?” At first, I wasn’t going to reply at all because you’re not supposed to reply at all, but I was just kind of like, “Well, I’m actually busy next week. I can’t really meet with you,” which to him… He immediately responded, “Oh, well, I just want you to know that I’m available whenever you need to meet or whenever is good for you.” He wanted me to know he was available.

Chris Seiter: You literally told him that you were busy, but you can meet him next week.

Jenny: Yes. I was like, “Maybe next week.”

Chris Seiter: That’s pretty clever tactic.

Jenny: I did not have plans.

Chris Seiter: Of course. Right. It’s all a game, but hey, he broke up with you.

Jenny: That’s right.

Chris Seiter: Hey, you can play a little games back.

Jenny: You can wait.

Chris Seiter: What happened?

Jenny: That was really, really hard because I did want to talk to him. I did want to see him. I did want to say all the things I’ve been wanting to say. It was really hard to kind of play that game. I’ve been journaling every day and writing all the things down that I want to say. Ultimately, in the end, I didn’t end up saying any of those things that I had written down.

Chris Seiter: It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes.

Chris Seiter: You write it all down. You’re like, okay, this is the perfect thing to say, but when you’re in the moment, it’s kind of like, what was that again?

Jenny: Yes. It was very interesting. It was probably a couple days after. It was the weekend after he had sent that text saying he wanted to meet up. I was just sitting there in my bed journaling. I had this really, really strong feeling that I wanted to say something. You have those throughout the whole time. You want to text. You want to call. You want to see him or whatever. This time, it just felt really different. I didn’t really want him to say, I love you or let’s meet up. I just wanted to reach out somehow.

Jenny: I just sent a text. It was 9:00 at night. I said just in a text. I was just like, “I just want you to know I’m thinking about you.” That was it. No, let’s talk. No, let’s have a conversation. Just, I just want you to know you’re on my mind, kind of thing. I’m finishing journaling. I’m sitting there in my bed journaling, and my phone goes off, which I know he’s replied to me. I’m like, I’m not going to answer that right now. I’m just going to finish journaling. I’m doing everything, getting ready for bed.

Jenny: I finally look at my phone. He was asking me about my weekend, or how I was doing, and that I look so happy. I was just like, “Well, I’m just sitting here journaling. I’m not doing anything serious.” Then either he said or I said, “Do you want to text right now?” In my head, I’m thinking, “I kind of want to go to bed.” I was like, “Okay. I’ll text-

Chris Seiter: He was not your first priority.

Jenny: No.

Chris Seiter: Sleep was your first priority, which is kind of the beauty.

Jenny: Right. I was like, “Well, I’ll text for a little bit, but I’m going to be going to bed soon.” It was small talk, that little value chain of just small talk. “Oh, what’d you do this weekend?” that kind of thing. “Oh, I went to a show with my parents,” or whatever. Then out of the blue, he was like, “Can I tell you what I’m thinking right now?” I’m like, “Okay, sure.” He’s like, “I really just want to come over to your house and tell you what I need to tell you because there’s some things I want to say to you and then I can just leave.”

Jenny: I was like, it’s 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know if that’s really a good idea. I talked to my son. I was like, “Hey, he wants to come over. How do you feel about this?” Ultimately, I said, “Okay. Well, you can come over, but we’re going to stand outside on my front porch.”

Chris Seiter: Sit outside.

Jenny: You can’t come in. He did. He came over. It was 10:00 at night. He came over. It’s a 35-minute drive from his place. He stood outside. He said all the things. He said, “I want to be with you. I miss you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I told my kids that I want to move in with you at the end of my lease. I still want to marry you in two years,” all these things.

Jenny: Again, all the things that I’d written down just flew out of my brain. I’m like, “Oh, okay,” completely shocked that this is what he’s telling me because at the time, I’m expecting him to just say, “Look, this is my life. I don’t really think this is where it’s going or whatever.” I really stood my ground. I was like, “Well, that sounds good. I want that too. Let’s just kind of see where this goes.” Then he left. There was no him coming inside. There was no sleepover, none of that.

Chris Seiter: It ended abruptly, and then it began again extremely abruptly.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Then he just left. It’s kind of like a drive-by proposal, and then he’s out of it.

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: That’s hilarious.

Jenny: We just sat outside, and he told me all these things. I was like, “Well, I’ve been missing you too. I really want to be with you. I’ve been waiting for us to talk or whatever.” It’s kind of like, we not necessarily picked up where we left off, but even in a better spot now because we have all these plans that we’re doing. He’s been sending me houses that he’s wanting to possibly go look at this summer.

Chris Seiter: Well, that’s exciting.

Jenny: We had dinner.

Chris Seiter: Also, a little bit scary. Are you nervous about that?

Jenny: We had talked about it before the breakup. It wasn’t completely shocking, but it was kind of… He had gone from the iffy, “Well, maybe,” to, “Okay, let’s look at this house.”

Chris Seiter: Well, what’s interesting about the situation to me is mostly how it ended. Did you ever have an opportunity to sit down with your boyfriend and say, “What was going through your mind when you broke up with me?”

Jenny: I did. What he claimed was going through his mind is there was something that he had been kind of struggling on a personal level that he hadn’t… I guess he just was kind of scared to tell me. Instead of wanting to tell me, he just kind of was like, “Well, I’m just going to keep you from it. I’m just going to leave you.”

Chris Seiter: It’s classical avoidant approach to the-

Jenny: Oh my gosh, yes.

Chris Seiter: Is that in line with his personality? Is he kind of more of like an avoidant type tendencies?

Jenny: Yes, he is. When we would get in a fight, he was the one that needed space and didn’t want to talk. I’d have to sit around, and wait, and wait for him to get ready to talk. It is in line with his personality in that if he’s dealing with something, I’ll find out later on down the road. I’m not going to find out if he’s got-

Chris Seiter: He’s like, “I’m going to deal with it myself. I don’t need help from anyone.”

Jenny: Right.

Chris Seiter: Which is really classic avoidant attachment. They’re very independent, so they feel like they can deal with the problems themselves. They don’t want to include anyone else to help them. Of course, you seem like the kind that would love to help solve problems. In some ways, that’s an avoidant’s worst nightmare because they’re like, “No, I can do it myself.” They push you away.

Chris Seiter: I don’t think this is a case of, the grass is greener, where he thinks, “Oh, I could find someone better.” I think this is a case of, you’re getting a little too close. I’m getting scared, so I’m going to push you away. Then now that he’s away, he starts to have nostalgic reverie based on your past relationship. He’s like, “Oh crap. What have I done?” He regrets the decision. He comes back. Do you think that’s in line with what happened, or is there an element that I’m missing here?

Jenny: No. I mean, it sounds pretty right on. He was very like, “I want to deal with this myself.” Then after having some time away, he’s like, “I really need you. I really need you in my life.” Not to his own fault, but I’m the kind of person that I kind of have to put up a boundary. I’m not going to do this for you. You have to figure this out on your own because I want to help so hard. That’s something that I have to work on myself, is I want to help you, but I can’t do it for you.

Chris Seiter: I don’t know about you, but I was always taught, maybe from viewing my parents, that when couples are having struggles, you help each other, right? For me, when I would start dating and date someone who had avoidant tendencies, it was almost like help… I wanted to get in there and solve the problem. It took me a long time to realize, like what you said, you have to almost stop yourself and be like, no, they have to solve the problem.

Chris Seiter: A lot of times, I’d be dating someone. They’d be crying. I’d be like, “Why are you crying? I’ll fix it. What’s wrong?” It was really hard for me to sit back and be like, I need to let them feel what they’re feeling. Do you feel like there was any of that where you’re like me, where you’re just like, “No, I’m going to help solve the problem,” and then just sort of backing up and being, no, I’m going to let them feel what they’re feeling?

Jenny: I am that person. I’m the, please don’t cry. What can I do to help you?

Chris Seiter: Right.

Jenny: How do we use fix this? I’m that person. He’s kind of the opposite, in that, “Oh, you’re crying. Maybe I should just give you some space.”

Chris Seiter: My wife is the same way. I don’t really cry that much, but when something’s bothering me… A classic example is when someone gets sick or when my wife gets sick, if I try to help her, she’s like, “No, stop.” If I get sick, I’m like, “No. No, come help. Dote on me.”

Jenny: Do all the things.

Chris Seiter: Right, yes.

Jenny: That’s pretty much the same for us too. I think in the opposite way, he wants to do it himself. He’s fine by himself, doesn’t need help. Then ultimately, when you get there, you’re like, okay, maybe I do need your help. Maybe I do want you here. We got to the point where he admitted that he was struggling. I said, “Well, I can’t fix this for you, or I’m not going to fix this for you, but I’m still here. I’m still here for you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, even if it’s just me just sitting next to you so you’re not sitting by yourself.”

Jenny: Ultimately, I think that’s where we got to. It was, again, like you said, very unexpected in that it happened and very unexpected in the way that we got back together too. I had gotten to that point where I was like, is this ever going to happen? Is he ever going to reach out? I definitely had those moments where I didn’t know for sure what was going to happen.

Chris Seiter: Were you ever at a point emotionally, because I hear this a lot from success stories where they get to this point where they’re just… They’ve been through enough period of no contact without hearing from their ex. Things maybe are not going the way they were expecting. They’re sitting there and thinking to themselves, “You know what? I just don’t care about getting them back anymore.” They kind of confront that reality, and they’re okay with it. Was there ever a point that you got to where you felt that way?

Jenny: I would probably say no, just because in the..

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