#we've already danced to this song together once and i think if it happens again i may accidentally just explode

[mitoconniedria]

Like Real People Do by Hozier has possessed me mind, body, and soul. Somebody help me please, I'm too much of a romantic for this shit

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 [+ 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥] 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: dean, sam, castiel, and gabriel

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: dance macabre—ghost

masterlist | commissions | carrd

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐧

• When Dean first meets you in the middle of bumfuck nowhere on a hunt, he's not surprised that you know his name

• Afterall, he has brought on the apocalypse more than once, and the hunter community isn't exactly known for its ability for people to keep their mouths shut

• What does surprise him, though, is your knowledge on him as a person

• It's nothing creepy— the thought of someone knowing all about him in that way brings him back to where he first met Becky through Chuck, and the thought makes him shudder —but just enough to where it's obvious you've done some digging and people reading of your own

• "Brought back some pie with dinner; didn't know what you wanted so I got apple."

• "Careful handling this case, it's got some nasty demons. We don't want you diving head first into hell. Again."

• "No no, don't use that. It didn't work on that shape-shifter you ganked last year in Massachusetts, so it won't work on this one. Throw it out." You eventually say one night while looking in Baby's trunk for some ammo, and Dean finally turns to face you

• "How did you know that? How do you know any of these things?" He clears his throat, squinting. You shrug with a barely there smile

• "Who do you think cleans up your messes when you're done, Dean? And what can I say. Word gets around."

• It's a simple case of Dean's reputation preceding him. Although, as you discover, there's a lot more to the Winchester than just his precious car, a strange love for greasy food, and his ability to fight off a demon with his bare hands

• "You sure you aren't obsessed with me? Because its totally fine if you're obsessed. I mean, look at me." Dean asks you at one point while gesturing down at himself. He's leaning on his car door in what he probably thought was a sexy manner, watching as you lugged some equipment out to the vehicle. You manage to press your lips together just in time to hide your amused grin

• "Keep dreaming, man." You shake your head. "There's a difference between reading up on people, and stalking them."

• "So you admit it?" He grins misheviously, pushing himself off Baby. "That you've spent your spare time thinking about me?"

• "Sure. And those witnesses never mentioned you'd be this insufferable." You scoff light heartedly, even though thats exactly what some of them said, and leave it at that. But for the rest of the hunt Dean can't stop elbowing you in the ribs to make a playful remark; something that, strangely, you don't find yourself minding

𝐒𝐚𝐦

• Unlike his brother, Sam takes the information that you practically already knew him with a bit of embarrassment

• Sure, he had been (or was supposed to be) Lucifer's vessel, and sure he also had a habit of being at the center of everything world ending, but he never really conciders him anyone other than a hunter that just happens to get the worst cases

• So when you just offhandedly started dropping these facts about him, he's a little off put

• "How'd you know that?"

• "You're literally one of the most infamous hunters to ever exist, Sam. You tangle with angels. Most of us only ever get to meet a werewolf or two before a friend is organizing our funeral the week after."

• "Oh. Right"

• Gets a little curious after a while as to what you exactly know. It's not like he keeps a journal about his feelings that the public can read, and that this point he's just praying you haven't discovered Chuck's Supernatural series, so he'd probably ask you all of what you know and why you know it

• "So you're telling me you've done research on our hunting styles—" Sam asks you while leaning forward. You nod, so he continues. "—and all the people we've ever pissed off?"

• "Call it too much free time, which I certainly don't have enough of these days, but I knew if I ever ran into you two knuckle heads, and I knew it would happen eventually whether I wanted it to or not, then I would need to be prepared." You dragged a hand down your face and exhaled for a moment. "That meant making a checklist of every vamp, demon, or god you've ever had out for your head. And trust me, it's a lot."

• He's silent for a moment after you finish, but it doesn't take long for him to pipe up again

• "Can I see it?"

• Safe to say, after seeing the list, Sam started to rethink some of his past decisions

• "Seriously, how are we not dead yet??"

• "Buddy, I have no idea."

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐥

• He does not understand why you seem to know so much about him. Not only as a person, but as an angel

• Castiel is used to the Winchester's asking questions. The first year of knowing them was filled with 'How Did You Do That''s and 'Can You Do This''s. He'd answer all of them, even if he found their questions to be on a kindergarten level most of the time, until eventually they had no more to ask

• You hadn't been like that. Castiel doesn't think he could ever recall you asking him things unless they were about hunts or special circumstances, like the time Sam lost his soul. Hell, you seemed to know more about him than some angels knew about themselves

• Grace knowledge, wing anatomy, biblical lore—you name it and Castiel's probably heard it come out of your mouth at some point

• He gets around to asking you about it one day, albeit very bluntly

• "You don't ask questions." Castiels voice sounds from behind you. You don't even bother to turn around; you heard his wings flutter the moment before he dropped in

• "What do you mean Cas?" You sucked some air between your teeth as you scribbled away at the papers before you. It was something Sam had asked you to follow up on, and you'd been at it for a hot minute now. Hopefully you could make this conversation quick so you could get back to it

• "About angels." A beat of silence. "About me."

• This time you do turn around in your seat to look at him. He's already studying you with that silent squint, and you resist the urge to mirror it

• "Why would I ask questions I already know the answers to?" You parry. The case papers lay on the table, forgotten by now. Your response gets you a rare, but endearing, Cas head tilt

• Upon further questioning, he finds out you'd spent a lot of your early hunting years doing nothing but reading up on anything remotely supernatural. Even calling them 'hunting years' was a stretch. You were more like a crazed researcher that never left the library than a hunter, even resorting to keep mountains upon mountains of notes on ancient lore stored away in the margins of dusty books

• "That's certainly explains why you weren't surprised when we met for the first time and I healed you." Cas's low voice drawled slowly after you gave him a moment to interject. "Or how you knew the symbol for sending us back to heaven before Dean or Sam ever did."

• "Like I said." You smiled to yourself, and Castiel got the feeling he was missing a part of the joke. "Lots of reading."

𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥

• Do not bring up that you used to have an angel phase back in college. Under no circumstances should you reveal that. He will never let you live it down

• Especially if he finds out you used to study artwork and literature about him specifically

• It's all over the moment he finds your old school books. They're stuffed full of old crinkled pages with his name thrown in there. Of course, this was way back when the idea of angels being real was laughable to you and you still had dreams of graduating college, but that doesn't change to fact that the notes are there, and that Gabriel found them

• "Wait wait wait listen to this—" An old binder is clutched in the hands of a very amused and very heavenly being as he paces around your spot at a table. His eyes are skimming the pages as a speed quicker than light, and Gabriel's shit eating smile grows as he continues to read

• "The archangel Gabriel isn't depicted as much as his brothers Micheal or Lucifer in classic literature, but when he is, it is often as a symbol of great power and beauty—"

• "I'm going to kill you." You cut him off and groan with hot cheeks. Your hands had come up to cover your face a while ago in an attempt to keep what little dignity you had, but something told you it wasn't working

• "Glad to know you think I'm beautiful, sweet cheeks." Was all Gabriel said. You could hear the teasing lit in his voice. Sure enough, when you looked up to glare at him, he was already looking at you and wiggling his brows suggestively. It took you a total to three seconds to throw the closest thing at his head

• "Hey hey! Watch the beautiful goods!" He laughed while dodging a pencil. It his his chest anyway and bounced to the ground with a dull thud

• "Gabriel." Your tone was downright murderous

• "Okay, okay! I'll stop!"

• He does, in fact, not stop. Someone restrain him for the love of Chuck, for he is getting way too much enjoyment out of poking fun at you

• You're gonna have to avoid him for the next few weeks after that if you want to keep your embarassment levels to a minimum. No other way around it

• Let's just hope he never realizes you had to spend time in art class analyzing renaissance paintings of him in the nude. Now that would be the conversation to end all conversations

• "Heyyy, you never told me you had an art folder—"

• Oh shit.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

two ghosts - a close reading

hs1, track 4

hs1 intro post

LYRIC ANALYSIS

Same lips red, same eyes blue Same white shirt, couple more tattoos But it's not you and it's not me

that one special lover with the beautiful blue eyes

"couple more tattoos": but not couple tattoos? it's just. such a good play on words it must allude to that pls

establishment of them as something familiar

cute lil theory:

1st line = you

2nd line = me

also parallel to well-used "it's not you, it's me" line in break-ups - allusion to the cause of their issues not (necessarily) being themselves

Tastes so sweet, looks so real Sounds like something that I used to feel But I can't touch what I see

THE SENSES!! ALL OF THEM!! 'you' is all-encompassing

they're there, they're close to each other, but they're not as physically intimate as they used to be

We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

we!!! you and i are still a we!!! itsnotfuckingoverneverneverover

together is when they had a heartbeat, when things were good. when they're apart they also don't have a heartbeat. but now they're not themselves, and they're not the couple they used to be, so they've lost their bearings. (external) change has caused a shift

The fridge light washes this room white Moon dances over your good side This was all we used to need

domestic bliss

cont. in sunflower, vol. 6: "kiss in the kitchen, like it's a dance floor"

"all we used to need": we need more, now. things have changed, we need to work on this relationship to keep it working, not just stay complacent and expect things to always work

Tongue-tied like we've never known Telling those stories we already told 'Cause we don't say what we really mean

cont. in sunflower, vol. 6, pt.II !!!!: "i was just tongue-tied"

communication!!!! central theme on the entire album: these kids couldn't fucking talk

they are still talking, still spending time together, but they're holding their emotions back, afraid of what might happen if they open their mouth. afraid of change

We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

'glass half empty' - his/their own outlook, or did chances get taken away?

edit: okay. it was a crime to leave out pink floyd here, headstrong as i may be. "we're just two lost souls living in a fish bowl" from wish you were here is. it's essential. pink floyd's lyricism is a key understanding so much of harry's work, and it can never be stressed enough. also i love pf so even though i wasn't typing it out here i was singing it in my mind okay

another hint at their relationship struggling bc of a context change

trying to remember: they're trying to make it work

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

i'm also figuring out for me what i want and need bc for this relationship to work i also need to know who i am

SYNTHESIS

This is a pair that loves each other. There is no doubt about that. This song is about heartache, about a relationship that's changing, one that used to feel easier. They now have to try, to work, to make it work again. The context of their relationship has changed, they have changed, they're growing. They have to figure out who they are in order to know what they want, what they see in the future for themselves and each other.

I think the lyrics, for once, say a lot. At first, the song sounds like an ending, something melancholic. Upon closer inspection, though, you can hear the hope, the work, the trying. Trying, figuring it out for themselves and for the relationship, is a central theme on HS1. It's what pulls all songs together, with this song at the centre, along with Sweet Creature, which holds that sense of security that they will figure it out eventually. In Two Ghosts, especially in the last line, Harry recognises that he needs to look for himself again, too. As does his lover. They're both ghosts, pretending to be someone they used to be. Perhaps in order to preserve what they once were, because they're scared of what might happen if they let change wash over them. Scared of the possibility of losing each other if they let go of the past. Despite the sadness and melancholy, Harry never fails to preserve that undertone of hope. He knew all along that there was no other way than for them to come out alive. (And then he wrote Sunflower, Vol. 6 as proof.)

[xoluvx]

betty; p.parker

» pairing: peter parker x reader » song: betty » word count: 1.9K

There was a flutter in Peter's heart as he watched you from behind his locker. He was pretending to dig for something, but his head peeked from behind the door watching you enter the school. The glow of senior year oozed off you and the never-ending giggles of your friends wrapped around you like a safety blanket. Your bag hung on one of your arms as the other linked with an arm of one of your friends.

Peter's heart thumped as you approached his locker. Usually, you would come up to him, peck his cheek, tell him how much you missed him, and celebrate the fact you were finally seniors in high school. But that wasn't the case. You walked right past him as if he were invisible.

He followed you down the hall with his eyes, the chatter among your friends grew softer as you disappeared in the crowd of freshmen rushing to find their classrooms. His eyes were on you when you briefly turned your head finding his eyes. Embarrassed, you turned quickly. But his eyes were still on you until he lost you in the crowd.

Shutting his locker, Peter sighed.

"Hey," Ned's voice rang in the hallway as he hurried to Peter.

Peter greeted Ned, as they walked side by side towards their first period. "Are you going to her party?" Ned asked glancing at Peter. He knew it was a sensitive topic, one he hadn't disclosed all the details about yet.

"She hates me," Peter responded shrugging his shoulders digging his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"What happened with Gwen anyway?" Ned asked bluntly. He was tired of being left in the dark, of tiptoeing around the issue and tired of his best friend ditching him for most of the summer.

Peter turned to look at Ned with a blank look, flashbacks of summer invading his mind.

"Do you need a ride?" The voice startled Peter. He'd heard the car coming, but he hadn't turned to see who was approaching him. When the car stopped next to him, he recognized the girl. She had been in one of his classes, but they'd never spoken before.

"Oh no, thank you." Peter shook his head politely. He was carrying his skateboard, a wheel was busted so he was left to walk the rest of the way home.

"It's not a problem, I have nowhere to be." She added smiling at him, lifting her sunglasses, Peter made eye contact. Her eyes were friendly, lips curling into an inviting smile. "I don't bite," she added unlocking her car.

Peter gulped but approached her car. If he walked, it would take him another half hour. Why not?

"Peter, right?" she said. It was then Peter realized she was chewing gum, she blew a bubble take popped as she brought her sunglasses down. Peter nodded.

"Gwen. We had English together," she mentioned driving down the road. "Why are you out here all alone?" she asked casually keeping her eyes on the road.

Peter shifted in his seat, his skateboard awkwardly between his legs. "I was at my friend Ned's house," He said looking at her briefly. "But my skateboard broke-" he continued talking looking down at the skateboard with the missing wheel.

"You know how to fix it?" she asked.

"I think I have to get it fixed," he confessed. Or maybe Ned could help, but that would require transportation that he didn't have.

"I can take you," she offered and Peter's eyes widen a bit. He was confused by her generosity. He barely knew this girl.

"I have to get home. My aunt is waiting for me." It was true. Aunt May didn't play when it came to dinner. Even though the sun was still out, he had to be home for dinner in less than an hour.

"Tomorrow," she shrugged nonchalantly glancing at Peter as they stopped at a red light. Peter's eyes scanned her face, her round features, and her long lashes. The gum expanded once again in a small bubble.

"Sure. Okay," Peter smiled as he gave her directions towards his house.

Peter should've known then. He should've known how things would end, but he was too gullible and he missed you too much. You'd taken the camp counselor job and though you would only be gone for five weeks, they felt like the longest five weeks. Gwen was filling that void.

Gwen's company made the days slightly more bearable. It was innocent. It started that way at least.

"I saw them at the arcade together," Inez's voice was becoming staticky. Your thoughts fogged as you heard what she was saying. "I wanted to call as soon as I saw, but you were at camp." She frowned, it was ingenuine though. Like she was living for the hurt expression on your face.

She went in for a hug, but you moved out of her way leaving the mall. You weren't going to entertain this. Is that why Peter wasn't there like he said he would? At your doorstep waiting for you to come back from camp?

You could feel the tears forming as you approached your car. Fumbling with the door you finally pulled it open sliding into the driver's seat slamming the door, gripping the steering wheel as you let the tears flow. Your chest felt tight.

This had to be the worst welcome home ever.

"Hey," Ned waved and you turned in his direction. He was waving at you with a friendly smile. Peter was next to him looking like a lost puppy. You faked a smile and waved, ignoring Peter, before you got pulled away by your friends to your table in the cafeteria.

"Are you going to talk to him?" one of your friends, Alice, asked drinking from her juice box. Another cut in and it was all too much for you to process. They knew as much as Inez had told you, and they knew you hadn't spoken to Peter since you left for camp.

"I think you should talk to him," Abigail added with a concerned expression.

"No, don't. He's not worth it. Remember how he didn't even come and rescue you when Jack refused to take no for an answer at the dance?" Rebecca retaliated.

You remembered clearly. You'd just started dating. Peter was still shy. It wasn't a big deal. You weren't even expecting Peter to come to the dance and you wouldn't have known that he was there unless Inez made it a point to tell you later that night as you walked towards the parking lot.

"We've already gone over that, it wasn't a big deal." You reasoned still on Peter's side. Because that was the thing, even if Peter had betrayed your trust, you felt like you'd always be on team Peter.

Glancing at his table, you saw him talking with Ned and you wished you could just go up there and forget everything ever happened press reset, and start senior year how you'd been planning with Peter.

"What if he shows up at your party?" Rebecca asked and you snapped back to your table. Shrugging you poked at your veggies before pushing your tray away. You weren't hungry.

The week went by in a flash, but each day felt longer than the previous. You wrapped your cardigan tightly around your body as you got out of bed. It was Saturday, in a few hours crowds of people would be in your backyard celebrating the start of the last year of high school.

But you were too caught up on Peter.

The sound of a text notification caught your attention.

Can we talk? - Ned

That was weird. Ned wasn't usually one to text you. Peter was always there as the middle man. You were curious.

What's up? You typed waiting for his text in anticipation. Your phone rang and you caught your breath. You were expecting him to continue texting.

"Hello?" you asked cautiously.

"Don't hang up, please. I need to talk to you. You need to hear me out, please-" it was Peter. His voice filled your body with warmth until you remembered.

"Peter," your voice cracked. What could you say to him? Nothing, you were about to hang up when you heard his voice again.

"Don't hang up. I was stupid. I missed you and Gwen was there, and I know that's not an excuse for what I did but I never stopped thinking of you-" he was out of breath speaking quickly.

You felt your heart tighten, the familiar feeling of tears forming in your eyes took over.

"I'm sorry, Peter." You hung up. You couldn't deal with this. Not when Abigail and Rebecca were on their way. Wiping the tears, you discarded the cardigan on your bed. The one he'd bought for you last Christmas.

-

"Are you having fun?" Abigail asked squeezing your hand lightly. She was speaking over the loud music, her nose close to your ear. Nodding, you feigned a smile before looking into the crowd. No Peter.

"I'll be back," you motioned towards your house letting her know you needed to grab something.

But in reality, you needed some space. You'd been looking forward to this day. Towards your last year of high school, but plans changed. Sighing you sat on your porch. You could still hear the music and though the party was in your backyard, you needed a breath of air that wasn't congested by teens.

Swinging on the porch swing, you leaned your head back looking at the silent street. That's when you saw a figure. One hand deep in the pockets of his jeans, a skateboard in the other. It was Peter.

"Hi," his voice echoed drowning out the music. Your heart skipped a beat and you straightened up on the porch swing. You planted your hands on either side of you grounding you.

"What are you doing here?" you asked carefully getting off the swing.

"Just listen to me please," he said climbing up the three steps of your porch. "I messed up, I know I did." He looked at you with sad eyes placing his skateboard down. "It meant nothing to me. Gwen was a distraction. One that ruined the best thing that's happened to me," he was sincere with his words. His tone was gentle as he stepped forward.

"I thought becoming an Avenger was the best thing that happened to you," you joked folding your arms. That got a small chuckle out of Peter.

"That's a close second," he joked back, this time it was your turn to laugh softly. You were falling back into your comfortable state. One where only you and Peter existed.

"I can't ask you to forget what happened-" he was stepping closer. "-but please forgive me, I will do anything." He reached for your hands, your fingers intertwining easily.

"Anything?" you asked, your voice cracking.

Peter squeezed your hands nodding.

"Kiss me," you whispered pulling Peter closer with your hands still tangled together. A goofy smile spread across Peter's face and he happily closed the gap between your bodies.

He let go of your hands so he could cup your face. Yours instantly wrapped around his torso.

"I missed you," he whispered against your lips, your noses touching.

Smiling you kissed him again. The fabric of his soft lightweight sweater felt right under your fingertips. You could smell his fabric softener and shampoo.

It felt like home.

folklore masterlist

[rocketmuse]

I thought I'd share my playlist for the anniversary of the boathouse kiss. :)

Song translations, MANY thoughts, and timeline under the break.

Noise warning for song 19, Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 4:23 to the end. Loud high pitched beeps.

YouTube music version to be made soon.

Translations for foreign songs:

Ewan [Dunno] — Apo Hiking Society — Filipino/Tagalog

Amour plastique [Plastic love] — Videoclub — French

Panalangin [Prayer] — Apo Hiking Society/Moonstar88 — Filipino/Tagalog

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita [I'm Looking For You] — Rivermaya — Filipino/Tagalog

This is a collaborative playlist made with my friend.

Thought Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy would be a good starter song. Something about the music. Represents a good start of Alec persuing Maurice, like, hey, I can be yours... Whatcha doin'?

I added Puppy Princess because of the chorus but I know some people don't like that song so... You can skip if you'd like. KISS MEEEEE KIISS ME WITH YIIR EYESSS CLOSED . ALL I WANT IS YOU YEAH YOU. TELL ME I'M NOT FUNNY TELL ME I'M LEGIIIIT

Ewan. OH MY GOD this song is so them. Alec cares for Maurice, and doesn't like not being taken seriously or being treated badly and brushed off.

"I don't know why you're like that, you're difficult to talk to and you're a snob" COME ON IS THAT NOT THEM — Just a smile from you, and I'll be in heaven. Please give me a response, anything but "No idea"... What a perfect representation of Alec's continuous persuit of Maurice, always talking, always trying...

I could go on with every lyric.

Edit: I just realised this song fits so well for Alec's letters and meeting at the museum. Must resist the urge to add the same exact track twice.

So about Touch Me... Some of the lyrics apply better in other versions. Spotify just has this version tho. Touch me, just like that.

All I've Ever Known. Maurice discovered so much that night about touch and sharing and being with someone. He wants to be with Alec. "All I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too. [Hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Hold you tight, I don't wanna to back to the lonely life.]" Alec opened up his eyes and he'll never be the same.

Can't Help Falling in Love With You. 'Did you ever dream you'd a friend, Alec? ... Someone to last your whole life...' 'Alec, you're a dear fellow and we've been very happy.'

I'd Like To Walk Around In Your Mind was added from Maurice's perspective. Perhaps it fits Alec too...

I think Love At First Sight has the double meaning of the literal title, as well as "wouldn't you like to kiss her" perhaps being... Something Maurice would hear.

I Don't Dance. Based on this post/edit. Please watch this video oh my God.

Pink in the Night. Alec yearns for Maurice in the boathouse. He hasn't come. He hears his heart breaking tonight.

Every lyric is perhaps pulled straight from Alec's brain, to be honest. I remember seeing a post with this song in other contexts with them too. So yes, a few meanings.

Amour plastique. Alec reminiscences on the night in the Russet room. Why hasn't he come?

In my mind, everything goes wild. I lose myself in your eyes. I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze.

And at night I cry tears that stream down my cheeks. I think of you only when the days ends, only when my sad demons descend upon my mind, into the bottomless abyss.

Waiting in the boathouse at night, when the day ends.

I ring out in kisses all down your chest. Lost in the avalanche of my heart astray. Who are you? Where are you?

The moments of then repeat in his mind. Where is Maurice?

I suppose Hopelessly Devoted To You and I'm A Fool To Want You are self explanatory. Maurice should really come... Alec really toughed it out, 2 days he spent in the boathouse, really wanted to see Maurice, really knew they had something, and doesn't want to be treated like a dog. Generally, his 1st letter.

Moon Song. My friend said they added it as a general love song. — Why do you treat me like this? Why didn't you come to the boathouse? — Alec's 2nd letter as a whole. Plus bits of 1st.

And you pushed me in, and now my feet can't touch the bottom of you. ... So I will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door.

Ewan would fit here tbh.

Panalangin. My only prayer in this lifetime: to be beside you, to be together with you, that's my prayer.

"I since cricket match do long to ... place both arms round you and share with you, the above now seems sweeter than words can say."

And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me, my love, please listen.

It also fits the end of museum.

I Want You. Maurice, can you come to the boathouse already? Alec has no power to teleport you there. I hold one card that I can't use.

I found you. I found the door, but when I stepped through, there was no floor. He found Maurice, bit he's not being here for Alec.

You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over And I love you, darling And I am done, dear

Alec wishes this would happen. Also, he does come back later and they love again over, and "it is finished".

Credit for suggesting the next two songs goes to @beatle-capaldi!!! He also wrote was in quotations!

English Summer Rain

The Most Radical Thing To Do

Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 1st letter, he's looking for Maurice. Thinking about them together.

In my thoughts and dreams, in every turn of destiny, I look for you. Also applies to that hotel/post-hotel feeling. I look for you, even if I try to forget you, saying goodbye, looking back...

Wildest Dreams. They think a lot of each other. They share once more. But they must say goodbye. Alec saw this coming. Maurice hopes that Alec will remember him like this.

I Hear a Symphony. Alec truly opened up Maurice's eyes. Maurice was meant to be with him. He helped Maurice, changed his life. But now Alec is leaving on ship... Or is he? The symphony leads into...

An orchestral sountrack. The Boathouse. Unfortunately the Maurice soundtrack is not on spotify. It's on my personal YouTube music version. I added it because it just captures the boathouse the only way the sountrack itself can.

The Word of Your Body (Reprise). MLM people have moment of romantic tension, which culminates in confessions of love. Just had to add it. "Haven't you heard the word of your body?" perfectly describes Alec gifting and showing Maurice the wonder of truest physical affection and love. He lets Maurice be okay with himself, and again, changes everything. Every lyric is perfect.

Also, sorry JBW, I like other versions more... Too bad Spotify is mean.

I See The Light. Yeah. Every lyric. Maurice is Rapunzel. Movie Blond too. Both the morning at Russet room and the museum. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, now that I see you. "By now they were in love with each other consciously."...

Suddenly Seymour. Suddenly see more, yeah? Clive = ass and someone gives him affection for once, wow! Sidenote, I want to sing this with them and their accents... Suddenly SCUDDER...

Helpless. Musical theatre songs seem to be good retellings of their love story. It's why they belong in post boathouse. Summaries and retellings. They're also good at conveying love they'd feel for each other in general, all times ever. Like loving men, retelling a story.

I'll Cover You. Cute love song feat. gays. I like to imagine them dancing around, declaring their love and devotion for each other. Walking and dancing around like in the original scene, sometime post canon. In my own imagination, I thought of Alec as Angel and Maurice (Christopher) as Collins.

Video Games. They must love spending time together. I thought this to be Maurice POV. Only worth living if somebody is loving you I mean, come on.

It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do. I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you.

Un sospiro. I headcanon that Maurice picks up the piano and plays for Alec. Perhaps he picked it up bc of/after Clive, but now can play it for someone who gives a shit.

Something about the melody reminds me of them. And then it gets more intense... A bit like the passions of love, showing up in sharing and touch and more, too.

Liebestraum. I mean, it means love dream/dream of love. I just had to. Also I just like Liszt.

Take Me Up With You, Dearie. This song is just so sweet... So soft... Edwardian to boot... I love how quintessentially 1909 it is. Discovered it in a YT video. The thought of them getting married makes me cry. This song in general makes me want to cry, it's so romantic, tender, and exudes my favourite era...

Let us float, float, float through the clouds, and just have a lot of fun. We'll go up, up, up as two and then come down as one.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder. We Belong Together. I always imagine Maurice and Alec slowdancing to songs that come on the radio together, when the 1950s hits... Alec probably rests his head on his shoulder as this plays and they dance...

I'm using a lot of ellipses, am I secretly Rupert Graves?

Welcome to the 70s and 80s. They love dancing together and being with each other. Now, Panalangin can be a happy song. My only prayer for this lifetime ... To be together with you. And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me.

Just the Two of Us. What a nice, vibey song. Great title, great scenario of them dancing to this...

Tiny Dancer. Your Song. MLM people in the 70s + Radio, being happy and in love with each other. — I just thought I should add some Elton. A different friend, and I, like him. Maurice sings to Alec, "And you can tell everybody this is your song." That I put down in words how wonderful life is with you in the world.

Electric Love. Fun fact: this song got me to share the playlist. Got me thinking about them and their anniversary again. The funky busy instrumental describes well their passionate love. The highs of electric LOOOOOOVE describe the intensity of them.

Alt text continued: themselves together under and the love. And the love. The song has its own tension and it perfectly pictures their own tension. So yeah, this is THEIR song quite literally.

Sorry if my music taste is perhaps basic. I just made it for when I hear songs that are Them.

Falling for Ya. Alec falls for Maurice. "I saw you when you first drove up, Mr Hall..." Something about Maurice, right? Plus really nice vintage vibes with the music. The bit about Into your arms and it's a secure sure sounds like Maurice. Awh, they're falling for *each other*...

Rainbow Connections. Gay and bi people. Marriage. Everything that Maurice and Alec went through to get here, where they were meant to be. Clive. Working for Clive. Leading up to now.

All the things that had to go right, all the things that had to go wrong, that lead us to the place where we were going all along.

On the YT version there's a soft/jazzy cover of Panalangin here. Because they're old and spending time together and being happy. What a throwback, a defined meaning in their lives over time.

Still Into You. After all these decades... Old and grown, together... True soulmates... Two men can defy the world... Maurice and Alec still roam the greenwood. Imagine Maurice meeting Alec's mom in this context. If only.

Postmodern Jukebox cover, because they are a quintessentially 20th century couple. They exude vintage.

Some piano playing for Alec. Soft, tender, romantic, emotional, true. Feels like nighttime. Feels like Maurice and Alec. And a throwback to the pre 1914 world as well. Claire de Lune feels like... A credits of life piece. Time spent in the early 1980s. Nocturne feels like that too, but more romantic. Smidge less nighttime. Ah yes, Gymnopédies. The truest credits feel of them all. None of these actually are credits for Maurice and Alec, but I struggle to find the word for this feeling. But yeah. These all have Them vibes to me. Piano of the time just does I suppose. Glad to be reminded of them at any time.

What a long playlist. Like going through almost their whole lives together. 1:52 hrs. Almost like a movie. Imagine that. A full movie of THEIR lives... But leaving to the imagination was a good thing. Led to this such action. Thank you E.M. Forster.

Timeline:

1. Pendersleigh

4. & 5. Russet Room. Night, then Morning

9. Cricket

10. Boathouse Nights

18. The Museum

20. The Hotel

21. After

23. The Boathouse

24. They Still Roam the Greenwood

I just like to imagine them dancing to songs on the radio, for decades to come...

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

comfort

Peter just wants to lay down with you but there's something that kinda makes him uncomfortable and you try to confront him about it...

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

Status: dating

Warning: mentions of bra's

Y/n's POV

I was laying on peters bed liking the tiktoks that I thought were funny and saving the ones I wanna do for later when Peter suddenly opens the door mumbling a few incoherent words then I can tell he sensed me since he looked up so quickly, eyes wide open and a small smile, getting bigger by the second, appeared on his lips.

"Babyyyyyy" he quickly took his shoes and jacket off and flopped on the bed his head resting on my stomach while his arms hugged my lower belly.

"Oof" I laughed since he basically jumped on me, he looked up resting his chin on my stomach

"I'm sorry did I hurt you y/n/n?" He whispered voice as soft as butter

"No it didn't hurt, it was just unexpected" I smiled playing with his soft hair "come closer, I wanna hug you" I made grabby hands and he just laughed, resting his head on my chest now, hugging my waist his legs were between mine so I crossed them around his middle and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing his head once in a while

He shifted a couple of times, making me think he's just trying to get comfortable so I ignored it, but he shifted again and silently huffed. He gave in for a few minutes then lifted his head up again to peck my lips and lay next to me.

I got very confused coz usually I'd have to make him move but he's never done this before, it made me kinda sad to be honest. Did I do something wrong? Omg do I smell bad? Does my shirt smell bad?

At first I didn't say anything since he looked unbothered and I was anything but that, I mean if you think about it, would you like your boyfriend to randomly stop cuddling you for no reason and just lay beside you? Is he mad at me?

Our cuddles would last for hours! And this one didn't even last for 10 minutes! I turned around seeing him looking at his phone with his left hand and his other is draped around my waist

"So what do you wanna order, babe?" He looked up his brown eyes hopeful for food

"Oh uh" so he's not mad at me? "W-Whatever you w-want" I silently cursed at myself for being nervous, now he'll get suspicious. And in fact he did.

"Oookay? You okay bubba?" He tilted his head? Caressing my cheek for a moment before setting his gaze on his phone again to order some food

"Yeah yeah I'm fine, it's jus- nothing no I'm fine" He nodded slowly not really convinced but let it go, for now. He laid on his side, his right hand supporting his body, leaned in and kissed me. As a way to make sure that I'm not mad at him or anything. I obviously kissed back not wanting to seem more suspicious than I already was.

He pulled away smiling, his eyes adoring my face. I would be a psycho if I didn't smile from that look.

"Ok well I'll go set up the ingredients so we can make brownies after, sounds good?" I only nodded still smiling. But that didn't convince him so he started kissing my forehead down to my nose to my lips a couple times making me laugh.

"Ok ok! We're gonna make brownies" i verbally agreed this time. He nodded happily and left the room, all the doubt I had were long gone.

The food arrived to our luck and we stuffed our face with the delicious hot meal, Peter also got my favorite drink AND were about to make brownies so to say I was happy was an understatement.

"OOOH GIRL YOU'RE SHINING" I was mixing the brownie batter swaying my hips to the song 'classic' by MKTO, while Peter took my spatula and used it as a microphone running around the kitchen singing his heart out

"LIKE THE FIFTH AVENUE DIAMONDDD" he pointed at me and I laughed "AND THEY DONT MAKE YOU LIKE THEY USED TO, YOURE NEVER GOING OUT OF STYLEEE" he shook his head as if he's confirming the lyrics and we continued on well, I continued on finishing the brownies

but Peter did make an effort, he sprayed the pan and sprinkled the chocolate chips. And he said and I quote he did "the most important parts for making a brownie"

"I WANNA THRILL YOU LIKE MICHEAL" he made the thriller dance moves while sprinkling the chocolate chips "I WANNA KISS YOU LIKE PRINCE" he turned around trapping me between him and the counter behind me, grabbed me by the back of my neck and kissed me until the chorus came in. And i couldn't contain my laughter by the sudden energy my boyfriend got from the food.

"YOURE OVER MY HEAD, IM OUTTA MY MIND. THINKIN' I WAS BORN AT THE WRONG TIME" he suddenly pulled away belting the rest of the song "BABY YOURE SO CLASSIC" we both sung together after he stopped me from putting the pan in the oven claiming its 'too dangerous' and he doesn't want me to get hurt, i mean can you blame him? I'm a totally clutz.

"Ok so why don't we watch something while we're waiting for the brownies?" He suggested putting on the timer.

"Sure" I suddenly jumped on his back (but he still caught me) waiting for him to go to the living room. He laughed at the sudden clinginess (he lovedddd it) and walked out of the kitchen. "TO INFINITY AND BEYONDDDD" he shouted sprinting to the living room. And I squealed from the sudden movement.

"Take the remote, babe" he turned so I can take the remote from the shelf.

"Got it" then flopped us on the couch, causing us to laughed. The jump made me cuddle him as the big spoon while his back rested in my front as the little spoon. At first everything was okay, the first 10 minutes of our favorite show was watched at peace but then the shifting began again. Am I making him uncomfortable?

"Babe, what's wrong? You've been doing this everytime we're cuddling today?" I asked him, so done with the feeling I'm getting.

"Uhhh" but to my luck...

*dinggg*

the oven dinged alerting us that the brownies' finished "oh looks like our brownies are done I-I-I'll go get them!" He rushed to the kitchen and I huffed in annoyance.

The rest of the night went smoothly, but I still had the pang of guilt in my heart. I wanted to know what wrong. so enough is enough, I turned my attention away from series to my boyfriend.

"Pete?" He somehow sensed the hurt in my voice and immediately turned to my side cupping my cheeks

"Baby what wrong?" His eyes scanned my face

"N-Nothing it's just- am I uncomfortable?" I didn't know what to say but hopefully he got the message

"W-what? Why would you say that?" The tv was long gone now he caressed my checks with his thumb trying to soothe the tension

"Well, everytime we've been cuddling you'd shift away, I don't wanna sound clingy or anything but y-you've never done that before" suddenly feeling ashamed and embarrassed by question, I couldn't even look at him in the eye. His eyes widened in shock and his face was full of guilt

"Baby it's nothing I swear, you did nothing wrong. He pulled me in so I could sit on his lap, his hands caressed my jaw slightly admiring my features.

"Then what happened?" My voice croaked not believing him by the second.

"Well it's jus-" his cheeks suddenly became darker, the heat risen to the tip of his ears and on his neck. I was confused to why he suddenly got all flustered.

"Pete it's fine, you can tell me" I rested my forearm on his shoulders slightly touching the small hairs that are on the nape of his neck.

"N-no it's just uh ur b-bra is uncomfortable so I just decided to sleep next to y-you inste-ad" he squeaked out, eyes closing from embarrassment. Wait- what?

"What?" A small smile crept on my face, and my mind suddenly pieced everything together, the material of my shirt is rather thin, he hugged my stomach first then I told him to come closer, he shifted a couple times due to the wiring! Oh my god how could I be so stupid?

"Y-Your b-bra, there's nothing wrong with it and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything it's just, I didn't know they put metal on a piece of clothing?" He tilted his head confused.

"Yeah" I nodded laughing "well there's like a wiring around my chest like under my boobs" I showed him the area from his shirt. And I could tell he got even more flustered when I said 'boobs' coz his posture immediately stiffened again.

"We can talk about it pete it's fine, it's normal to communicate in what make you uncomfortable, in fact it's important!" I assured him

"Well I just thought you'd get more comfortable if you were wearing it and if I say something you'd have to take it off or something" he looked down at his lap, I could not believe this boy, he'd think I'd purposely wear a bra even if I didn't have to?

"Believe me, if I didn't have to wear this 'thing' I wouldn't, it's hurts so much at the end of the day since the wiring basically suffocates you" his eyes shot up immediately when he heard 'hurt' and tilted his head.

"Then why would you wear it if it hurts you?" Now it was my turn to get flustered

"Uhh well I just thought maybe you'd get uncomfortable" I nervously laughed

"No no Baby I want you to be nothing but comfortable around me, you don't have to wear you're bra infront of me or when we're hanging out. I looked at him lovingly, proud of how he handled the situation, respectfully and kindly. I leaned in so our lips could briefly touch and mumbled a

"Thanks Pete"

"You're welcome" he replied "now please kiss me" I laughed at his eagerness but Peter didn't have any of it and smashed our lips together.

"Wanna get ready for bed?" He slowly pulled away but right after the words left his mouth he kissed me again

"Yes" we finally pulled away, for real this time. And went or his bedroom. I was already wearing sweats and the thin t-shirt so I was ready to go. Peter came out of the bathroom now in his flannel sweats and a grey t-shirt flopping on the bed and taking me with him. I squealed trying to stop the fall but obviously failing. I stood up again trying to find my bag causing Peter to whine.

"Baaaaabe where are you going?" He whined

"Taking off my bra so we can cuddle, I missed our cuddles since you couldn't give me any today" I fake pouted, taking the bra off and putting it in my backpack. Peter cheeks turned red again turning his head immediately after looking at my laced black bra.

"You okay there hun?" I smirked at his flustered state

"Y-yeah everything's great" he shook his head and grabbed me again, turning us around so he can lay on my stomach

"Better?" I whispered my hands immediately going to his luscious curls.

"Much" he kissed the exposed part of my stomach and covered both of our bodies with his duvet. "I love you" he closed his eyes sighing in content

"I love you too" I replied although I'm not sure he listened since immediately after he talked I heard little snores from him. Finally closing my eyes feeling nothing, but pure happiness.

Idk what this is but I thought of it yesterday and decided to try and make it come to life 😂 tell me ur thoughts! And if u have any requests my inbox is always open :)

Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

[rogue-durin-16]

AN UNUSUAL YEAR (Part IV/V)

Summary: After having little to no interest on girls for five years, Fred suddenly feels the need to nag the shit out of a certain witch, completely oblivious to the reason behind it.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: fluff (+ enemies to lovers)

Taglist:

An unusual year: @natural-hearts @manuosorioh @lumos-solemn @westyywifee @whiskeyn-rain @warlock--protection @gossip-girl-ecr @fandomscombine @birdy944 @28cnn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: none

A/N: BOI IS THIS LOOONG. I knew this part would get a bit out of hand since I wanted to write all of this in the same chapter but still damn. Anyway, enjoy <3

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part V

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Here's a variety of Yule Ball outfits for y'all 👀:

Outfit 1 outfit 2 outfit 3 outfit 4 outfit 5

"You sure you don't wanna come to the ball?" I asked Mathilda, climbing down the dormitories' stairs.

"No, I'd rather stay..." Her mouth opened in agape when she saw me. "You look... Wow."

"Why, thank you." I replied, walking towards my best friend with a smile. "I'll probably be here before 10:00 pm." I assured her, squeezing her shoulders. "And we can gossip a bit."

"Already looking forward to it." Mathilda patted my hand with a chuckle. "Have fun, will you?"

I nodded and waved her goodbye before leaving the common room.

"Bloody hell, Y/l/n!" George, who as promised, had been waiting for me at the entrance of the dungeons, shamelessly though harmlessly, checked me out. "You clean up nice, huh?"

"Of course I do." I walked to meet him at his spot. "You don't look so bad yourself, Weasley." With his chin up and a proud smile, he offered me his arm, which I gladly took, and we headed off to the Great Hall.

A fairly big crowd had formed at the doors, mostly conformed by people who were waiting for their partner slash group, and some not-so-subtle gossips.

While I intended to go straight into the Hall, George tugged me away from the shortest path, claiming that he wanted to 'have an overall view'.

I reckoned he had something else in mind when we passed by Fred and Angelina, both immersed in their conversation until my friend caught a glimpse of us.

"Damn Y/n!" I held back George, who was playing dumb for some reason, and made my way to the couple. "You look SO good, doesn't she, Fred?" She nudged her partner, giving him a knowing grin.

"I guess you look nice." His nonchalant reply was accompanied with a shrug.

"She looks breathtaking, actually." George's correction left me staring at him speechless. "Just like Angelina."

Oh well. "Yeah" I agreed, clinging onto my partner's forearm, finally getting a vague idea of what was going on —not quite there yet, though. "Angelina, love, you look astonishing, right George?"

"Right." I could see my friend's cheeks reddening ever so slightly whilst making eye contact with George.

"Shall we go in?" I suggested, already heading to the gates.

FRED'S P.O.V

'Breathtaking' was the exact word I was thinking about when Angelina asked me about Y/n, and George knew it.

The girls probably didn't catch how my jaw dropped when I saw her, but my brother did.

He knew it.

"Go with her, yeah?" I requested to Angelina, gesturing at Y/n and at the Great Hall simultaneously. "George, can I have a word with you?"

He nodded and whispered "Go on, ladies." before walking to me. "What is it, Freddie?"

"What's your game?"

"I think I don't follow." The fact that he had the nerve to speak that blantant lie angered me more than I would ever admit.

"Why is she your date?"

"Why is she not your date?" He retorted, triggering a gasp from me, followed by a scoff. "You're not only completely oblivious, you're also a coward."

"Beg your pardon?" Was the only thing I could bring myself to say; I blamed the shock caused by my brother's nonsense.

"AND you stole my date." Oh, so this was about Angelina. "Now if you excuse me," he patted my back a couple times. "I'll go dance all night with MY absolutely breathtaking date."

"Have fun with Slytherin girl, Georgie." I replied, sprinting to reach him. "I'll go dance with our beautiful Angelina."

"Tosser." I could hear him say as I jogged into the Hall to reach the girls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

George probably wasn't the best dancer, but he clearly knew some moves, and made me want to stay on the dancefloor for a good couple of hours, having a great time.

That's one of the reasons why I decided to help him out.

"Oi!" He leaned on and I stood on my tiptoes, holding onto his forearms so I could speak directly into his ear. "Wanna dance with Angelina?"

"Maybe" He slightly pulled away and both our gazes spotted the girl, dancing madly with Fred. "Yeah! Yeah I do!" He shouted so I could hear him over the music, now that we were apart.

"Alright, come!" I tugged his hand and together we narrowed the already short distance between them and us.

The timing was perfect, almost as if it was meant to be like that; the moment we reached them a slow song started to play.

"Angelina, may I steal your date for a dance?" I requested, not waiting for Angelina's nod before letting go of George and tugging Fred's hand. "You can have mine." I spared my friend a teasing smile and a wink while I pulled her date away from George and her.

"Stealing me away, huh?" Once we were far enough, I spun around and held up one of his hands, his left one falling on my waist and my right one on his shoulder. "Eager to be near me again, Y/l/n?"

"So I'm not 'Slytherin girl' anymore?" I raised my eyebrows at him with a smirk on my face as we swayed.

"You heard that?" All from sudden he turned somehow self-conscious.

"This may come as a shock to you," I peeked over his shoulder to check on George and Angelina. "but you two are quite loud."

"I didn't mean it." His word had way more regret than necessary for something as stupid as what he was sort of apologizing for.

"I know." My eyes returned to his just in time for him to made me twirl and pulling me back to him, this time a bit closer than we were before. "Asking Angelina out was a shitty move." I pointed out.

"You won't believe me," he began, "But I completely forgot." I snorted. "I swear!" His eyes widened and both our mouths twisted into an amused smile. "She was near me when Ron asked me who I'd be taking, and I didn't think twice."

A soft, genuine laugh escaped my lips; one which made the boy in front of me smile.

"Is he pissed?"

"Earlier? Very. Now?" I gestured behind Fred, urging him to look at his twin brother, now kissing Angelina. "I don't think so, no."

This time it was his laugh that made a smile tug the corners of my mouth.

"You do look breathtaking." He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper. "Dunno why I didn't tell you earlier."

"Because you're a twit." He chuckled, shaking his head with his eyes fixed on our feet. "You look very handsome, though."

"I am very handsome." He corrected me, looking at me again, now with that damn smug face.

Out of every possible comeback, I chose the one that he expected the least. "Yes, you are." His cheeks turned mildly red and his grin fluttered; I counted it as a win.

"You're beautiful." He returned the compliment, after a moment of silence, to which I responded with a confident 'I know'. "So cocky."

"That makes the two of us." I pointed out.

Silence fell among us again. Comfortable silence, though, one that I could get used to.

Another twirl, another pull to stand even closer.

A small lean was enough for my head to rest against his chest. I blamed tiredness for the need to do that, but I didn't find anything to blame for the way his heart was pounding against his chest, nor for that strange feeling in my stomach.

As soon as he took a deep breath, we both eased into each other's arms, giving up the tension that our bodies had held.

We stayed like that for a while, until I looked around and realized most people had left, George and Angelina included; the dancefloor was now almost empty.

"I don't know what time is it," I spoke, letting my fingertips trace random patterns over his shoulder, dancing down to his chest.

"Me neither" he spoke, making me sway.

"I reckon this is the longest we've been together without jumping down each other's throats." I observed. "And it's probably the longest—"

My words died when, without any kind of warning, his lips landed on mines.

His right hand unconsciously gripped mine for an instant with such force, almost as if it was holding onto it for dear life.

Before I could even think about kissing him back, he retreated back to his previous position, offering me a smile I couldn't decipher accompanied by a wink that made him look relaxed an confident.

All façade, I thought to my self, as he said nothing —no teasing, no cracking jokes; he just kept slowdancing, his hands now more loose, seeming like he was prepared for me to run away; his gaze was also casted down and his cheeks flushing.

I would have teased him if it wasn't for the way I felt my own face burning.

I did let go of his hold, and he subtly stepped back, lowering his arms.

Just like me, he didn't have time to react when I pulled him down, cupping his cheeks for a proper kiss, which he returned instantly.

I felt both his hands on my hips as he leaned on, drawing me against him as close as he possibly could, while my hands left his cheeks to circle his neck.

All of a sudden I remembered that I needed to breath; I broke away, leading my hands to his shoulders, where I could feel how heavy his breathing was.

"What's just happened?" I mumbled, my eyes fluttering open to look into his.

"Dunno." He confessed. "Did you like it?"

"Very much." I replied instinctively, not bothering on thinking it through.

"Wicked." He muttered against my lips before going in for the third kiss, this one more heated.

With a hand on his chest i slightly pushed him away, scanning the place around us before asking, "Wanna go for a walk around the castle?"

"Please." His response was so immediate that we both had to chuckle at it.

"Wicked." I mocked, earning a playful push from him. I my fingers interlaced with his and I led the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

"Shhh!" I playfully shushed Y/n's giggles, loosely hugging her from behind with my lips pecking her shoulder as we went downstairs in the direction of her House. "You don't want us to get caught, do you?" I let go of her waist just when we found ourselves halfway through the corridor.

"Merlin's beard—" Y/n, who had turned to face me, widened her eyes at the sight of me under the dim lights of the dungeons. "You're a mess." She whispered between quiet laughs, raising her hands up to my face to try and remove some of the lipstick stains she had left all over me.

"Don't you dare laugh, woman." I feigned pain, only making her giggle more. "You made a mess out of me."

She held my chin and moved my face from side to side, checking if she had made it any better. "What am I supposed to do with your neck?" She huffed.

"Place a couple more kisses there?" I suggested with a smirk, fixing her hair as best as I could. "Or a bite, you choose."

"I'm serious." Her thumb gently rubbed the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"Let them there for people to see." I was joking. My tone was playful. I didn't really mean it.

It was just a joke, right?

Her hands slid down my chest before leaving my body. "I'd rather not to." She replied absent-minded, making me realize that maybe I wasn't joking; maybe I wanted people to see— to know.

She didn't, though.

"Hey, everything's alright?" She questioned, concern making its way to her face when her eyes found mines.

"Of course." I replied— no, I lied. I lied to her and to myself. "Just tired."

"No wonder why." She laughed at her own innuendo, but the only thing she got out of me was an unenthusiastic half smile. "I'm gonna head back now." She added, probably sensing something wasn't right. "Get some sleep."

"I'll go have a shower." I informed her, stepping back in the stairs' direction without breaking eye contact.

"See you in a couple of hours." She responded, mirroring my moves, but towards her common room.

I nodded briefly before heading up to my own House, craving a cold shower to shake her voice off my mind and detach her touch and kisses from my skin.

[asknarashikari]

Zack: *dancing alone in the rain, shirtless*

Other Beat Riders: *watches from afar*

Oren: *arrives*

Oren: Why is he dancing? I didn't think his legs are already healed.

Peco: We don't know.

Peco: Days after getting discharged, he immediately went here and dancd our old routine.

Chucky: Sometimes I do when I miss Kouta, Mai, and Yuuya.

Rat: Yeah... whenever we miss them, we kinda just dance the routine we've always did with them.

Rica: It's still hard to believe that all three of them aren't in this world anymore.

Peco: I admit to wanting to dance the routine we had...

Peco: But considering what I did...

Micchy: I can relate...

Zack: You know I can hear all of you.

Zack: The least you could have done was show yourselves with an umbrella.

Peco: We thought you wanted to be alone for a bit.

Zack: Naah, I have coped with Kaito's death.

Zack: i'm just missing what we once had as Baron.

Zack: And also, Peco, Micchy, don't forget I planted a bomb next to Kaito once.

Zack: If anything I'm the one who shouldn't be worthy of dancing the routine again.

Zack: Kaito could have easily killed me, back then.

Micchy: But he didn't.

Zack: But he didn't.

Oren: Why don't you boys and girls remember them by dancing together?

Zack: Dancing the steps during the time you tried to stop us?

Oren: Cheeky Nut.

Chucky: It's a great idea.

Oren: I think I had my boy save the song into my phone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hnuerJvYUE

...Ngl, that last bit of the video made me raise my brows lmao

I honestly have no idea what else to say lmao, I think it's definitely something that could happen

[swordofpevensie]

Kissletoe (Peter Pevensie x Reader Fic.)

my masterlist is here.

warnings: slightly(?) angst. fluff. peter is such a baby. susan, edmund and lucy try so hard. it almost turned out to be a susan fic. it is sort of a slowburn. childhood lovers to idiots. communication is the key folks.

word count: 4456

a/n: aww this is my first fic and i'm so excited and i sincerely hope you like it. this fic is inspired by 3oh!3's song kissletoe.

happy christmas to everyone who celebrates it!

and my native language is not english, so if there is any mistake, feel free to correct me.♡

•••

❝𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓

𝑰𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒘𝒂𝒚

𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔

𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒐𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕-𝒐𝒇-𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

𝑺𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒐 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆?

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒐𝒆

𝑶𝒏 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.❞

“Don't be so desperate.” Susan said when she entered the throne room, finding her elder brother sitting on his throne, alone. “She is coming home. She promised she would in her letter.”

“I don't know what you are talking about.” Peter said, watching his sister as she was approaching. “And I'm not desperate.”

Susan smiled as she sit on her throne. “I know you miss her. We all do. But she is coming. She always keeps her promises.”

“You know she didn't keep one promise.” Peter replied. His voice sounded sad.

“Peter,” Susan held her brother's hand. “You both were so young. You didn't understand what you were dealing with. You didn't know how serious love was and it required sacrifice. You shouldn't blame her. She thought she was doing the best for herself and we know she is happy now. Isn't it all that matters?”

“Yes...” Peter whispered. “I wish I could forget her, just like she forgot me. I wish I could be happy.”

“You don't know whether she forget you or not yet.”

“What do you mean?” Peter asked as he frowned. He was confused.

“It's Christmas.” Susan said merrily. “Miracles can happen any time.” She stood up to leave, ignoring her brother saying her name.

.*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

Walking in the hall to the throne room used to make you feel like going home because you knew you'd see your boyfriend. But now, it made you feel sick, you just wanted to disappear. You didn't know how things'd be and it made you nervous. You, a great fighter, a free woman, the former general of the Narnia army, had never felt such a big stress before.

You were about to give up and go back when you heard doors opening. You saw Susan and Lucy coming out of the throne room. Susan had a beatiful, big smile on her face as she approached you. You couldn't move. After those years, seeing her felt very strange and but amazing. Susan immediately hugged you as she said your name merrily. “I've missed you so much!” She said as you hugged her back.

Then you saw Lucy. She was a beautiful young lady now and you were amazed by these sisters' beauty. They grew up, they looked gorgeous and their smiles welcomed you home.

Lucy hugged you too. You did the same. “Oh, I can't tell how much I've missed you!” She said. You smiled and said, “I've missed you both too.”

“How are you?” Susan asked. “I hope you didn't have any problems coming here.”

“I'm good. The journey was good too.”

“Aw, I'm so happy to see you here, again!” Lucy said as she hugged you again.

You smiled at her words. You felt like all the stress left your body. Seeing them again was amazing. You missed them when you were away but you never understood how much until now.

“Come,” Susan said and grabbed your hand. “Let us show you your room so that you can rest and clean yourself up.”

“Okay.” You almost whispered as Lucy grabbed your other hand and they took you to your room.

You couldn't stop yourself from looking behind, expecting him to show up but he didn't. The sadness and disappointment crushed your heart.

.*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

You did as Susan told. You cleaned yourself up, rested a bit but most importantly, tried to not think about the past. You were sitting on the bed, combing your hair now. No matter how hard you tried, your brain kept betraying you, reminding you your memories in this castle, with him.

You both were young, he was nineteen while you were eighteen back then. You were in love, you still were sure about that but you both didn't know what exactly love was or it may require sacrifices sometimes. You two were just messing around, having fun, laughing, reading, fighting, training, playing together. Hugging, kissing, touching, loving each other. Your brain made sure you remember how soft his lips were, how gentle his touches were, how beautiful his words were, how he looked at you, how he smiled at you.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You hated remembering all those beautiful and precious memories when you were the one who left him and Narnia behind and ran away.

But you were scared, you knew that and it helped you to forgive yourself a little. When Peter asked and wanted you to stay with him, you were so scared. You didn't want to be stucked in one place, no matter how beautiful it was. You thought you both were too young to make such decisions but he insisted, he loved you and didn't want to let you go. You had to escape without saying anything to be free.

When Susan wrote and told you that she invited you to the Christmas Ball, you began to wonder if he would ever forgive you or want you back. You knew how bad you broke his heart but you couldn't stop wondering tough. Or would you stay with him this time? Would you keep your promise this time?

As your thoughts choked you and you felt you were getting stressed again, the door was knocked and you were totally, and thankfully, distracted. You opened the door and saw Susan, Lucy and Edmund.

“Welcome back, Y/N.” Edmund said as he smiled at you. “We've really missed you.”

You hugged him back when he hugged you. “I've missed you too.” You replied, smiling.

‘He could at least come and say welcome.’ You thought.

“Well,” Edmund said. “I'll leave you with Susan and Lucy. I have to check the preparetions.”

“See you,” You said. He nodded and left.

“Now,” Susan spoke. “It's time to prepare you for the ball.”

“Susan-” You attempted to say but Lucy interrupted you.

“You can't stop her, just give up already.”

You laughed at her words and did as Lucy said.

Once again, you realized how much you missed and needed them.

.*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

“Everything looks perfect.” You said, looking at the ball room. “Your decoration and preparetion skills have improved.”

Susan gave you a big smile. “You are still very kind.” She said. “You've always been. Do you remember the time I cut your hair bangs and you prentended you liked them because you didn't want to break my heart?”

“I really liked them!” You said, couldn't stop smiling.

“Oh, okay now you are lying!” Susan said as she hit your arm and you both started to laugh.

“Oh, Y/N,” Susan put her head to your shoulder. “We really missed you. Everything feels perfectly complete when you are here.”

“You'll make me cry, Susan.” You said. “But I really missed all of you too. And I know I never said that before but I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that I left you without saying anything. I should've let you know or at least write a note. Also, thank you for finding me and writing to me. Thank you for forgiving me.”

“I admit that I was mad at you, we all were but as we grew up, we understood you and believe me, none of us is mad at you or blame you for leaving.” Susan kissed your cheek. “You are always welcomed in Narnia, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” There was pain in your voice and Susan noticed that. Therefore she took your hands.

“Dancing is about to start, come with me.”

She took you to the middle of the room, where Lucy and Edmund were standing and talking to Mr. and Mrs. Beaver.

“Oh, Y/N!” You heard Mrs. Beaver's merry voice. “Welcome back my dear!”

You smiled and bowed to her.

“Look at her! Sweet, beautiful and kind as always. Welcome back, honey.” Mr. Beaver spoke. Seeing them made you feel so happy.

You thanked them both.

“You look magnificent, Y/N.” Edmund said, you turned to him.

“Thank you, Ed. So do you.”

“Do you know who else looks magnificent? Peter. Peter does look magnificent.”

You frowned at his unexpected words. Edmund smiled nervously and left without saying anything.

You looked at Susan and Lucy suspiciously. Susan pretended to be talking Mr. and Mrs. Beaver while Lucy just smiled at you but knew her well enough to understand that it was a fake smile.

“Okay,” You said to yourself and took a deep breath. They were up to something but you couldn't tell what.

The music started to play and before you could do anything, you realized that Susan and Lucy were gone. You were confused. Where and why did they go? You looked around and saw them. They were in line for dancing. Lucy was holding Mr. Tumnus' hands and Susan was holding Edmund's.

You gave them one of your ‘You'll pay for that.’ looks and decided to dissappear. You never liked balls, you never liked Christmas and you never liked dancing. You really needed to dissappear.

You turned around to leave the room but a body standing in front of you made you stop.

‘No,’ You thought. ‘Please, don't be him. No.’

But the body was his, you saw his face when you lifted your head.

You used to look face to face but he was taller than you now. And his chest was wide. You realized how massive he'd become.

While you two were looking at each other, you couldn't say anything. You didn't know what to say actually.

He seemed calmer than you. His face didn't change while you felt your face was burning and your heart was beating so fast.

“Y/N,” Hearing your name from his voice after those years made you feel strange, but good. It was like no one had said your name as correctly and perfectly as he did. You wanted to hear it again. His voice felt like home. “Hi.”

“Hi,” You said but it was more like a whisper. “Your highness.” You added as you bowed.

“You don't need to call me that, you know.”

Of course you knew. He never liked to be called ‘your highness’ or ‘your majesty’ by you or any of the Narnians. He didn't like to wear his crown around you because being the High King made him very nervous. You always thought he was too young to carry such burden but despite everything, he'd always been a perfect king.

You just nodded. You couldn't find enough strength in you to talk. You were scared if you opened your mouth, your honest feelings and words would escape.

“And welcome back.” He said. His voice was distant and you hated hearing it in that tone. It used to be joyful and completely in love when you were together. He always smiled while he was talking to you. His eyes always shined while he was looking at you. But now, you were like strangers and you realized that he gave up on you and forgot you, moved on.

“Thank you.” Your voice was low.

The rising voice of the music interrupted you while you were just looking at each other.

You looked around to find an excuse to leave but everybody was busy with dancing and you and Peter were the only who didn't dance. You knew he didn't like to be in balls so you hoped he'd leave.

You realized Edmund, Lucy and Susan were looking at you two. Also Mr. Tumnus and Mr. and Mrs. Beaver. Oh no, you realized everybody was looking at you because, obviously, you and Peter weren't dancing although it was a ball and it was time to dance.

Peter saw them too. He took a deep breath.

“Shall we dance?” He asked. “They want me to dance. They know I don't like balls, therefore they always insist until I dance.”

“Okay.” was your answer because the stress inside you was increasing incredibly.

You were scared of his touch because you knew it might wake your old feelings up and you didn't want to fall for him again. You did it once and the ending was bad because of you. You didn't want to suffer again.

But to dance, he put his hand you waist, you put yours to his shoulder and your free hands found each other. Your hand was inside of his big hand. The excitement in you kept growing, you felt your knees shaking. After all those years, his effect on hadn't changed at all. Your fears came true, you realized your feelings never faded away, they were always there, buried in your heart. You just tried to hide them, not feel them, ignore them.

You looked at his face but you saw nothing. Your heart was broken because it was obvious that the dance meant nothing to him. To be honest, you wanted to cry, knowing that it is your fault.

You gulped and looked away. Meanwhile, Peter's looks were on you. They were never off you actually, since the moment he entered ball room.

He missed you every single day after you left. There was a pain that he could never get rid of. The feeling of yearning sometimes drove him crazy. You were on his mind everytime. What were you doing? Were you safe? Were you healty? Were you happy? Did you miss him too? Did you forget him? Did you move on and love somebody else?

However, now seeing you and holding you again made him realize that he'd missed you much more than he previously thought. And his feelings were still alive. It was embarassing, or pathetic like Susan said, that after all those years you were apart, and although you were the one who left him and turned him into a mess, he still loved you. But his whole heart, whole soul, whole exsitence wanted you back. Because he finally felt complete when he took your hand into his and he didn't want to lose this feeling.

Although you did your best to look at somewhere else, his looks were on you and he never looked away. All he cared about was you. All he saw was you. He'd endure this ball just to be able to hold you and see you.

His eyes started to examine your face and your whole body. You'd changed, he could tell. You'd grown up, your face seemed older and wiser. You were still beautiful though, just like he remembered. And the aura of your whole existence, that strong and captivating aura, was still there. He loved it, he'd always did. Your selection of dress didn't change either. A dark green dress, simple but impressive and elegant. It was his favorite colour and he began to wonder if you wore this dress on purpose.

But his favorite change was that although you were taller now, he was taller than you. You used to look face to face but now you had to lift your head up to look at him and he absolutely adored that.

Despite this intense feelings he had inside, he was too nervous to show them. Because he couldn't see through you. Did you still like him or were you dancing with him just to be nice? Did you forget him and move on or did dancing with him make you feel something?

“I'm surprised that you agreed to come to a Christmas ball.” He said to break the tension in the air and his nervousness. “You used to hate Christmas.”

“I still don't like it.” You answered, at the same time he made your bodies turn. “But I didn't want to turn Susan down.” And I missed you so much, you wanted to add but you didn't.

“I see.” He said as he nodded.

“You hated balls too.” You said.

“I still do. Actually I was in my room but I was informed that Edmund needed me. That's the reason why I came here but Edmund seems a bit busy, dancing with our sister.”

“If you don't dance with me, I totally understand.” You tried very hard to hide your sadness.

“No, I didn't mean to imply such thing.” He said hurriedly. “I will be honest with you, Y/N. I'm happy that you decided to come back. I'm not bothered at all. Please don't think that I don't want you here.”

“You didn't even come to see me.” You said, obviously blaming him.

“I was too nervous.” There was a little smile on his face. “I couldn't leave the room. I'm sorry if I offended you. I assure you that I didn't do it on purpose.”

“Okay,” You nodded. “It is really good to see you again, and talk with you.” You were smiling too.

“I think so too.” He said. “Susan and Lucy missed you so much.”

“What about Edmund?”

“He also did.”

“Oh, it's good to know.”

He smiled. “And I also missed you too, m'lady.”

You smiled with satisfaction. “I missed Susan and Lucy too. And Edmund. Oh, I really missed Edmund.”

“Okay, okay,” He laughed. “I deserved that.”

“You absolutelt did.” You laughed too and it felt so great to talk and laugh with him again. At least he didn't hate you like you feared. You'd be glad to have his friendship. You just didn't want to lose him.

“I might have missed you a little.”

You had to look at your feet to not step on his foot. He was such a distraction. You almost forgot how to dance because of the excitement and happiness.

“A little?” He said as if he was shocked and he raised his eyebrows. “Come on! I deserve more than that.”

“Alright, I missed you as much as you missed me.”

“Oh, in that case, it must be so much.”

He panicked when he realized what he'd just said but the smile on your face calmed him down. He didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable because of his feelings unless he got a signal from you.

“How are you?” He asked to change the topic. “I mean, have you been good? Is there any problem?”

“I'm good.” You replied, looking at his curious blue eyes. “I've been travelling, seeing new places and meeting new people. I really enjoy my life, however sometimes I wish I could share this journey with someone. But solitude has never been a big problem for me.”

“I know,” While he replied you, made you spin around and then pulled you toward himself again.

You loved how your bodies moved in harmony, as if you'd never been seperated. You never stepped on his foot, he never did a wrong move. Everything was just perfect and for the first time in your life, you enjoyed dancing.

“You liked to be left alone when you first came to Cair Paravel.”

You smiled, remembering those days.

“And I remember someone was always interrupting my solitude, was always inside of my personal space.”

“I'm sure he had his own reasons.”

The music changed and you knew it was time to change partners. You tried to step back and move away from Peter but he held your hand and waist very tight. You looked at him, feeling confused and surprised.

He then realized what he was doing and immediately let you go.

You began to feel sick again. Every word he said, every move he made and the last thing he did had an effect on you, making your nervousness and confusion grow. You needed some fresh air and to be alone.

You left the room fastly and without saying anything.

.*･｡ﾟ ༘✧

You heard the door open.

“I knew I'd find you here.”

You weren't surprised that he found you. You and him used to come here to be on your own when everything was overwhelming.

“Y/N,” He was slowly approaching to you. He put his hands to the balcony banister, just like you did. “I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

You didn't answer because you didn't know whether you were uncomfortable and upset or you felt very good and were mad at yourself because of that.

You watched the snow falling down from the sky. It was piling up on the trees which were decorated with golden and shiny balls. You were sure Lucy did all of this decoration. You'd helped her for a few times. The view was green, white and golden and you loved it, for the first time in your life. Maybe the reason was Peter, maybe you just missed Narnia too much.

“Do you remember how we used to play?” He asked with a soft voice. You knew he was anxious because he didn't get any answer from you, therefore he was trying to make you speak to see if you were angry.

“I do,” You replied. “And I also remember beating you.”

“You are mistaken, m'lady. I chose to lose to you.”

“Oh, you did?” You couldn't stop giggling. “Would you like me to remind you the truth?”

“Oh no, absolutely no.” He laughed and you felt butterflies in your stomach. “I don't want them to see their High King losing a snowball fight.”

“But you'd lose to the former general of Narnia Army. I think it wouldn't seem that bad.”

He heard the tease in your voice and it made him smile more. He loved to be able to talk to you again, like this. Playful, cheerful and totally easy going. Since your childhood and the moment you fell in love with each other, the communication between you had always been smooth. He listened you and you listened him with a beautiful smile on your face, all the time. That was one of the charasteristics of you he definitely loved.

There was, of course, so many things he loved about you, but the way you listened him, cared every single word he said and understood him was something else. He always thought you and him were so alike. You almost shared the same soul because you were very talented at empathizing with his emotions and understanding his struggles. He had never been reluctant or timid when it came to speak with you.

“Well, you may be right.” He answered you as he took a short breath to get rid of his thoughts that had been distcracting him.

“Who is the general now?”

“Oreius.”

“Oh,” You nodded. “He was an excellent warrior. It's not surprising that he is the general.”

“Yes,” He turned his hand and looked at you. “Y/N, look. I'm really sorry if I annoyed you with anything I did. I swear my intention was not to make you uncomfortable. I promised myself to be as neutral as possible. You may not like me anymore, you may have someone new in your life, or you may be bothered because of the things that happened between us. I am sincerely sorry, I really didn't want to bother you.”

“I've been on my own since the day I left Narnia.” You said. “In the way you mean.” Then you looked at thim, his blue eyes were already on you. “And it's alright, I'm sure I, too, have done things I didn't mean to.”

“Yes, yes you did. I mean, you couldn't stop looking at me throughout the dance.”

“What?” You laughed as you hit his arms jokingly. “Sir, I looked at a Christmas tree for minutes. I know I was able to stop looking at you.”

“Why don't you just admit that I look absolutely beautiful and charming tonight?”

“After all those years,” You said in a serious manner. “I realized that you, High King Peter, are not my type at all.”

“What are you talking about? I am totally your type!” His hands were pointing his face.

“No,” You shook your head. “No, not at all.”

“Oh, come on!” He objected to you but there was a smile on his face. He looked like a child who just lost a game and was objecting to the rules. “Is this a defense mechanism you use to stifle your desire to kiss me?”

You laughed at his words. “Peter, I am not kissing you.”

“But you should.” He pointed to the mistletoe which was hang up to the soffit of the balcony above you. “You know, we are under the mistletoe.”

“No, techinaclly we are-”

Everything happened too fast. He took a step back and meanwhile he held your waist and pulled you with him. You were now under the mistletoe. Before you could said anything, he kissed your lips.

You answered the kiss back. Actually, it was not your reaction, you didn't even think of kissing him back. It was your body's immediate reaction but you were glad that you were kissing him back. You missed how soft his lips were and how wonderful his kiss was.

He was the one to break the kiss. He looked at your face but you didn't let him say anything because you kissed him this time.

As your lips danced, you felt over the moon. After all those years you spent alone, despite the mistakes you made, you were rewarded. His kiss, his lips, his hands' soft touches on your cheeks, and shortly, everything about him was a gift to you. Maybe returning back to him was your Christmas gift. You met Santa when you were younger and he seemed like a man would do such thing.

“Peter,” You put your hands to his nape after breaking the kiss. “I know I broke your heart. I know I am mistaken and you have every right not to forgive me. But if you want to me stay, if you still feel the same, I want you to know that I'm willing to stay with you this time. I am ready to stay with you this time.”

His eyes shined and his blue eyes became brighter than a summer sky. A smile appeared on his face. You couldn't stop looking his lips whose color was like a fresh cherry's color now.

“My feelings have never changed.” His thumb caressed your cheek. “Y/N, of course I want you to stay with me. I want you more than anything.”

You smiled happily. “Then, I am staying.”

He kissed your lips again as he hugged your waist and lifted your body. You laughed when he spun you around.

While you two were busy with kissing and laughing, you didn't realize Susan, Lucy and Edmund watching you from the other side of the corridor. Thanks to the big glass windows of the balcony door, they'd been watching you since Peter came to talk to you.

“Yes!” Susan said merrily and excitedly.

Edmund and Lucy were just watching their big brother and smiling.

•••

hii loves! i hope you like it. please feel free to tell me what you think.

love, andrea. ♡

[hldailyupdate]

How the joyous ‘Treat People With Kindness’ video came together

Directors Gabe and Ben Turner on how Fleabag became the launchpad for Harry Styles' ‘Treat People With Kindness’ music video

Like most good stories, Harry Styles’ video for “Treat People With Kindness” starts with Fleabag, specifically with a meeting at Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s hit London theatre run, which became the launchpad for the joyous black and white video, released on New Year’s Day.

Working with a team now synonymous with Styles' videos (choreographer Paul Roberts and stylist Harry Lambert, to name a few), it was directed by brothers Gabe and Ben Turner (part of the production company Fulwell 73), whose work has spanned One Direction videos ("Steal My Girl", “History”) and Styles' solo track “Golden” and who produced the documentaries I Am Bolt (2016) and Hitsville: The Making Of Motown (2019).

Here, Gabe and Ben tell us the story of when Harry met Phoebe and how “Treat People With Kindness” came together.

Gabe, you tweeted that the video was shot at the beginning of last year. How did it come together?

Gabe Turner: Harry and I went to watch Phoebe do her live Fleabag show in London. We met Phoebe and she was the kindest, most delightful person ever. The next day I was watching dance videos randomly and one of them was this Nicholas Brothers video from the 1920s. It was two brothers dancing. I said to Harry, “You and Phoebe, question mark.” And he messaged back saying, “Treat People With Kindness”. Then he called Phoebe and was like, “I've got this song. I want to do a video. What about me and you doing this dance routine?” And she was like, “Great." And then the two of them called Paul Roberts, the choreographer.

Ben Turner: This isn't always how our life is. This isn't the regular process. But once the touchpaper got lit, it just went off. Every now and then something comes along where all the dominoes fall perfectly.

GT: Harry and Phoebe worked with [choreographers] Paul Roberts and Jared Hageman. The four of them rehearsed all the time, remotely, wherever they were. Whatever projects they were doing, the choreographers would go with them and work on their steps. We would get sent video updates for them as they were rehearsing and learning. We were like, “This is amazing.” We had been to the Troxy for the Bugsy Malone Secret Cinema, so we were like, “That would be a great place to do this.”

You make it sound easy.

BT: That momentum that Gabe's describing, that's what made it easy. It was plenty of hard work, but once it started, it just came together.

What was the turnaround like for the video?

BT: We just did it fast, in the space of a few months.

GT: There is a process for how music videos get made. Directors pitch for them, they come up with their creative, present it and there’s a process to go through. This one was already happening before any of that process. It was pure art from Harry and Phoebe, going, “We're going to connect and make this amazing thing and it will come out when it comes out.” As a creative to work in that way is totally joyous. You're just facilitating greatness.

What was it like to shoot?

BT: This is also easy, in a way, because the choreography means that [Harry's] going to be here at this point and there at that [point]. You knew exactly where they were going to be in the room. We went back and forward a bit on how to weave the story into the choreography so it wasn't just a dance routine. By the time we got onto set, that was quite well planned. The nice thing is being more prepared, you can try to feed in a bit of latitude to things. I know because we've worked with Harry for a long time that the camera doesn't just love him. The camera wants to marry him and run off with him and probably never come back. So we know to give a little bit of space for that to happen. Obviously to have Phoebe there with him as well is totally bonkers. And, again, the camera loves her. It was exciting for us to talk about how to execute things with someone who we admire so much.

GT: When you go to the Troxy there's a hidden stage at the top. Ben had an idea of coming down from the hidden stage to reveal Harry, then setting a scene up of [Phoebe] at the top. She was brilliantly collaborative in discussing what kind of role she was going to play.

What notes did you talk through with Phoebe about her character?

BT: This song's called "Treat People With Kindness”, so it feels like there's a distance to cover in the narrative. You start on the Marsellus Wallace shot, out of Pulp Fiction. We wanted to get a sense that this was a kind of tough guy and there was the opposite of people being treated with kindness around the place. But the conversation went from [Phoebe] being a character that stood up to him to, actually, if you look at it, [she] wipes a tear off of his eye, which is so beautiful.

GT: Ben was just obsessed with casting the back of people's heads for the first shot.

What makes a good back of the head?

BT: I'm talking about how many folds of skin at the top, the optimum shape. Someone [said] that Bruce Willis had a fantastic shaped dome of a head and it really turned me on to the shape of a bald head, because it can be really beautiful.

GT: I find a lot of the music videos that we do, there'll always be a shot from a film that inspires something.

Aside from breaking the fourth wall at the end, the Pulp Fiction shot and the Nicholas Brothers, what other reference points or Easter eggs did you include?

BT: We love the Marx Brothers, Danny Kaye and those physical comedians. I love Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. We’re also obsessed by Bugsy Malone. Busby Berkeley... I don't think there was much Busby Berkeley in this.

GT: At the end there's a tiny bit, but Busby Berkeley has actually been used as a reference in quite a few music videos. We love that stuff. But we didn't want to go too into that symmetry and the choreography, because it didn't feel as fresh

What have you learned from Harry, after working together for so long?

BT: He's on a really interesting journey and we are lucky to be a bit of that journey with him. It's really rewarding to dip into that and try to facilitate some of that as we go along. There's a lot that he's in touch with that I'm not. I'm quite a lot older than him. I'm not as cool as him.

(12 January 2021)

[ilove-cedricdiggory]

I think it's due time I've made a little something for the guy my entire page is dedicated to 😅 So, here we have it!

Just say you won't let go

Cedric x Reader

Requested - no

Summary - Written as though you're inside the song, Say You Won't Let Go, with Cedric

Trigger Warning - Fluffy

I met you in the dark, you lit me up. You made me feel as though, I was enough. We danced the night away, we drank too much. I held your hair back when you were throwing up.

Cedric spun you once again, your giggled filling the nearly empty room. You had been surprised when he asked you to the ball, especially when you thought his eyes had been on Cho lately. But, the two of you had bumped into each other on your prefect rounds, late in the night. You had decided to stick together through your rounds, conversing on his first task with his Dragon. Right before you had separated, he smiled down at you, "Hey, y/n, would you possibly go to be Yule ball with me?" His arm bent at an angle, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he awaited your reply. "Ced, I'd love nothing more than to go with you."

The two of you had quite a bit of the spiked punch the twins told you about, now far from sober. You laughed once more as he lifted you up in the air, just like he had during the champions dance, only this time, your stomach churned. As soon as he set you back down, you took off, your beautiful dress being held up by your hands as you rushed to the nearest bathroom. Your insides quickly came out as your felt his hands scoop up your hair, holding it back as the other rubbed your back softly.

Then you smiled over your shoulder, for a minute I was stone cold sober. I pulled you closer to my chest. And you asked me to stay over, I said, "I already told you, I think that you should get some rest."

After you were finished, you took a deep breath and turned to glance at him over your shoulder. You smiled softly, even through the alcohol, you felt white embarrassed. But you looked into his eyes, seeing a sense of safety in them before he pulled you close, your head softly laying on his chest. "I'm really sorry." You mumbled, wiping anything off your face that might have come from your recent sickness. "Don't be, I lifted you up right after I spun you, I'm pretty sure any normal person would get sick after that." He laughed, smoothing your hair down now.

"Do you wanna come to my room?" You asked him softly, the two of you walking slowly to your common room. "I don't really want the night to be over yet. We could cuddle and just talk for a few hours." You said, looking up at him. His fingers softly pushed a piece of hair out of your face and behind your ear before speaking. "Love, I already told you. I think that you should get some rest."

I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know. Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go. I know I needed you, but I never showed. But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old. Just say you won't let go.

The next morning, you slowly walked to the great hall, your head pounding. You had never been more thankful for a Christmas holiday. You stepped in the doors, glancing up to see Cedric already looking straight at you. He smiled a smile that filled his eyes with happiness at the sight of you, but you were too far to see. He motioned you over to the seat next to his, watching as you slowly walked over to him. The two of you ate in quiet whispers, both of your heads pounding unlike ever before.

You glanced over at him as he took a sip of his pumpkin juice, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. Your heart filled with an emotion you weren't really expecting so early on, if you're being honest with yourself. But, the only thing you could think of was how lovely he was going to look when he was old, and how much you hoped you get to sit next to him, watching the sun set as you sat in a quiet whispers, much like you both were now.

I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed. I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head. I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye. I'll thank my lucky stars for that night.

It was years after hogwarts, years after the war. You had spent many of days thanking Harry for bringing Cedric back to you. The school had been stunned when the both showed up, panting with a fear stuck in their eyes. Cedric rushed to you, bringing you into his arms as he held you, forgetting everything surrounding him. His father came up, but he refused to let you go. You heard the voices around you grow quiet as Harry spoke.

"He's back." Cedric tightened his grasp on you, refusing to let you go.

Now, the war was over. He was fine, you were fine, and you were happy. Your nights weren't filled with nightmares as often as they used to be, and your children were growing up in a world you'd want for them.

"Love, wake up." His voice was soft, a kiss pressed to your hairline. "I got you breakfast." He helped you move to a sitting position, your full belly showed through the covers. You groaned as a kick pushed against you, your hand moving quickly to the spot, rubbing it carefully. "Thank you, love." You spoke, smiling up at your husband. "Coffee, just as you like, you weirdo." Cedric was always a tea person, but the second your mouth came in contact with the dark liquid, you were set on coffee. "The kids." You spoke, your eyes wide. "It's a school day." The two older boys, twins, were just 8 now, and we're attending a normal, muggle school.

"I'm gonna take them. They're both ready, putting their shoes on now." You smiled lovingly at your husband, so incredibly grateful for him. He kissed you softly before leaving you with your food, taking your boys to their school. He smiled as they rushed off, greeting their friends before sauntering into the front doors. His mind wandered to the night he bumped into you, that night at Hogwarts, and thanked whoever and whatever he could for it. The night he finally picked up enough courage to ask you to the ball, the night he spent hours walking the dark hallways, listening to your voice fill the empty air.

I'm so in love with you, and I hope you know. Darling your love is more than worth it's weight in gold. We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown. I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old. Just say you won't let go.

You laid in Cedric's arms, one of his hands rubbing your scalp, the other tracing shapes onto your arm. The two of you had just gotten back from dropping your twins off at the train, your daughter having stayed with Molly and Arthur.

"Our kids are already on their way to Hogwarts." You spoke, staring at your ceiling. "Hogwarts was terrifying when we were kids, Ced. Quirrel was Voldemort, a giant snake running around trying to kill muggle borns, Sirius on the loose, that God awful tri-wizard tournament. You were almost bloody killed!" Your anxiety was rising with each word, absolutely terrified of what your boys were about to face.

"Honey, honey, it's okay. The boys have Mcgonagall as their headmistress. They don't have Voldemort fighting to come back, they are safe. Heck, Neville is a professor there. The boys know him, if anything happens, I'm sure they'll go straight to him. Plus, Hogwarts was also full of such amazing things. Hogwarts gave me you."

His voice filled your ears, his words finding home in your heart. "We've grown up so much." You said softly, turning to look up into his eyes. "And I wouldn't trade a single day of it, because I've grown with you. I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old." He leaned down, kissing your forehead softly.

I wanna live with you, even when were ghosts, cause you were always there for me when I needed you most. I'm gonna love you till my lungs give out, I promise till death we part, like in our vows. So I wrote this song for you, so everybody knows, that it's just you and me until we're grey and old. Just say you won't let go.

"Hey, hey, Ced, wake up. Wake up." You shook your husband awake, your eyes softly moving to his cheeks. His eyes popped open, looking up at you. "I'm not dead." He whispered, his arms moving to wrap you up, just like they had so many years ago. Cedric had grown, just like you had, but his brain still occasionally forgot that Voldemort was unsuccessful at killing him, back in the graveyard.

"Baby, you're okay. You're right here with me. You're alive." You moved to sit in his lap, cradling his head in your arms, right at your chest. "Listen to my heart, you're alive." You whispered, running your fingers softly through his hair.

"You are always here for me when I need you the most." He whispered after calming down, pulling away to look into your eyes. "I'll always be here. Good and bad." You spoke, kissing him.

The two of you were laying in bed, his head resting on your chest as you continued to run your fingers through his hair. "When we die, we should become ghosts. Live forever in our home. That way, I'd know I'd never leave you." His voice was soft, but shaky, almost scared again. "Baby, even if we don't become ghosts, I'm never leaving you. I promised till death we part, but it's so much more than that."

The two of you slowly fell back to sleep, holding each other tightly. You and Cedric, until you're grey and old.

Just say you won't let go, oh, just say you won't let go.

Your wrinkly hands were tight in Cedric's, the both of you sitting together, in the silent whispers. The sun was setting before you both, the sound of your grandkids in the house behind you. "Just put your pajamas on!" Your son spoke, chasing his daughter. "Gramma said I can stay up until 9!" She yelled back, rushing past her father. "That doesn't mean you can't get dressed! Little girl!" She giggled loudly as he picked her up, leaving you and Cedric to laugh yourselves.

"Looks like we're finally grey and old." You whispered, glancing at your husband. As handsome as ever, he was, just like you knew he would be. "And you're as beautiful as you were the night I met you." You smiled as he brought your hand up to kiss it, smiling at you. You laid your head back against your chair, looking into his eyes.

You both were laying in bed a few weeks later, both of you knowing your time was coming to an end. You looked over at your husband, seeing him eyeing you from the corner of his eyes, once again. You slowly moved your hand to grasp his, your eyes watery.

Your voice was soft as you felt sleep slowly overcome you. "Just say you won't let go."

[fiveisnumber1]

Hoo boy this is gonna be a long one so I apologize in advance. I'll try to keep it short tho. So you recommended me these songs and here's my view on them. I decided to mention them by name in case someone else wanted to listen too:

Last Dance - Diplomacy

This song is pretty much word for word Five's thoughts in the apocalypse. He's "looking for a way out the door" or how to *create* a door in his case. He's quite literally haunted by reader's ghost who "won't let him be" cuz he imagines her with him all the time. It's her vision that nags him to keep going when he's ready to give up so he can "find my way back to (reader)"

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I feel this song is very sad, speaking of Five's regret of Time Traveling. He'd literally wish he could go back in time to when he first met reader and warn his younger self to not be an idiot or else he'd lose reader or at the very least, not "ride along with (her)" to make sure she doesn't get stranded in time too. "I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you" is pretty self explanatory. He had reader, he lost her and wishes he could change things.

Lately III - COIN

The house is too quiet. So I sleep in my car. I'm losing my magic. I hear your voice in my head, I think that I'm working too hard. But who, who am I-I kidding? I want you right back in my arms.

I can see these lyrics being from both reader's and Five's perspective but more Five cuz everything around him is quiet. He literally "lost his magic" as in his ability to time travel til he could figure out the equation. He can hear the reader's voice in his head both encouraging him but also telling him to rest when he works himself too hard but obviously it's more important for him him to get back to her so she's in his harms again.

Thirteen - Armors

This made me think of a "what if" from readers perspective or just the beginning of their friendship when Five defied his father to meet and befriend her. It could work in reverse too since readers parents also wanted to have her avoid the Hargreeves but I guess I thought of Five more cuz he had more to lose from disobeying Reggie and befriending reader. The lyrics of "going out on Friday/tickets for the dance" and getting "your dad off my back" and becoming an "outlaw for my love" makes me very much think of Reader not putting up with Reggie's bullshit and encouraging Five to break free of him even more.

Lover of Mine - 5SOS

This one was possibly my favorite. The chorus was everything.

"When I take a look at my life And all of my crimes You're the only thing that I think I got I right I'll never give you away 'Cause I've already made Already made that mistake".

It's so clearly Five talking about the Reader after be comes back. Maybe his residual fears of doing something wrong and losing her. She's the only thing he did right after his time at the commission killing so many people, his self loathing makes him feel like coming back to save her and his family is the only worthwhile thing he's ever done. The first part of the chorus as well, God knows we've come up with so many dancing headcanons for Five and reader so I didn't repeat that. And the verses, I feel could be more of Five blaming himself for all the regrets reader has. I could see the second verse as reader though cuz she knows what Five has been through "the world fall from his eyes" so she literally wants to "kiss the regrets goodbye" so they can be at peace instead of him constantly blaming himself for what happened.

I also am going to try my best not to analyze every single song in detail (although I do have a lot of opinions) so let's jump in my (hopefully) brief reply. This is where the fun begins.

Last Dance - Diplomacy

We were dancing through the city, And you were looking pretty, you held me close. 

Even through the white lies we both talked. Oh-oh, We were running far away, oh-oh, From those words we can't say

So this first line is Five remembering the night that he danced with the reader. Straightforward. The second line though is about both the reader and Five and how they hid their feelings from each other. They continued to talk and be friends even though they were both lying to themselves and each other about the strength of their feelings. They were running away from opening up and expressing how they really felt (the words they cannot say)

Let me took another moment. Painted such a foot prints in the snow. But we've reached another road short. Going through emotions we both know.

I like to think that the footprints in the snow are the ones that they left together before Five left and jumped into the apocalypse. It was the last moment they were together. Also, both Five and the reader are constantly going through the same emotions of hurt, loneliness, regret, love. They both know those feelings.

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I've been searching for a trail to follow again, Take me back to the night we met.

This line can be about the reader and Five. Both of them have been dropped into unknown situations. They’re both now lost in life and are searching for a sense of normalcy like they had when they were with each other, but they still haven't found that path or trail to follow since they separated.

And then I can tell myself, What the hell I'm supposed to do. And then I can tell myself, Not to ride along with you.

I think for this line from the reader's perspective is that now that she’s in this whole new time, a whole new reality, and she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t tell herself how to change things or move forward because she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do to accomplish that. And I think for the line “not to ride along with you” it’s the opposite of Five. Instead of Five wanting to not have brought her through time, it’s the reader wishing she held on and went along with him.

I had all and then most of you, Some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Haunted by the ghost of you. Oh, take me back to the night we met.

Like you said self-explanatory but both Five and the reader want to go back to the simpler times when they had each other.

When the night was full of terrors, And your eyes were filled with tears. When you had not touched me yet, Oh, take me back to the night we met.

All I picture is the scenes I wrote where they’re both just crying over finally coming to the realization that they had truly lost the other. The reader on her knees below the portrait of Five above the fireplace and Five holding the now deceased in his arms. Both of them shedding tears at the terror of the situation and how they wished they could go back to when they met and start over so this would never have happened.

Lately III - COIN

Be honest with me. Do you, do you, do you wanna be honest with me right now? I swear to God it meant nothing.

I can see this as Five asking himself why he did what he did. Why did he not listen? Why did he jump through time? Looking back wanting to jump through time and defying Reginald really meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

The house is too quiet

This line can also be applied to the reader because she’s staying in the empty academy house. There was once the sound of all the academy kids but now there’s nothing.

Thirteen - Armors

I don’t have any specific lines but I agree that overall this is definitely the reader trying to convince Five to break free of Reginald’s grasp and live life with her. She’s not going to force him hence the line “If it's no, then I can go. I won't make you.” but she wants him to be able to do normal things with her like go to a school dance without it being a problem.

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

03 - Music Room 3007

Chapters songs:

*Dagger; Slowdive

On The Level; Mac Demarco

F song; Strawberry Guy

^^^ when including * in chapters next to a song, that means it is a song that will be performed in the chapter.

———

— Y.L. Perspective

      "Sunshine girl is sleeping. She falls in dreams alone," sings Toruku in a calming tone into a microphone, along with the strumming of a guitar. "And me, I am her dagger. Too numb to feel her pain."

     "The world is full of noise, yes. I hear it all the time. And me, I am your dagger. You know I am your wound." I join in, adding onto his

      The words we sang were truly upsetting. About a boy, a lover, who is aware he's hurting the girl he loves. I couldn't compare any relationship I'd ever been through to those lyrics.

      Although one had always caught my eye: "I didn't really lose you, I just lost it for a while." It was easy to automatically think of the boy I was duetting with when we covered this; for some time now, Toruku has had small feelings for me.

       One of the things that repelled me from a relationship with him was the idea that it would end horribly, and that it would potentially ruin our relationship.

      Not to mention how much drama that would cause for two other unproblematic teenagers who were only trying to make a living off of their talent: Hikishi and Giki.

      But today wasn't about what would happen between the two of us— today was her day.

     "I thought I heard your whisper, it happens all the time." And with that, the song is brought to an ending, followed by my gaze met with the blonde boy.

       "That was, once again, better than before. But I feel as if it's missing something." He explains, as he removed the wooden instrument from his arm and leaned it against the bean bag he sat in.

       Music room 3007 contained the following: I couple of bean bag seats, a coffee table, a vending machine, almost every instrument in existence in an extra storage room, tools used to record and analyze music, and posters + records we kept throughout the years.

       Truth is, music room 3007 wasn't even really a part of the school anymore. Sure, it was still on maps and the district still paid the electricity, cable, and water bill. But barely any students or teachers paid much attention to it, for it was stuffed behind the gyms, which were two large buildings that would block out any view of the smaller one that stood behind it.

      'I hope Sugawara won't have any problem with finding this place.' I think to myself, as I stand from the chair to turn the camera and microphone off.

      We would set up different amps, microphones, and cameras when recording a cover of a song. This time, it was a basic acoustic from 1993, named 'Dagger' by Slowdive.

     After turning it all off, I plop back onto the cushion. "I think we've don't this quite enough times already, 'Ruku. We should upload it already and get on to the second song. I mean, we've been here a whole hour trying to perfect 'Dagger'." I say, removing my uniform's blazer, and throwing it across the coffee table. Next came my tie, and I unhooked the first two small buttons of my white collared shirt. The music room got hot when so many electronics were in use.

     "Maybe you're right. We should probably get onto another song." He replied, running his hands in the bridge of his nose and down his neck.

      I quickly stand up from my chair and stand behind him, leaning onto his shoulders. "I think you're just tired. Are you sure you wouldn't wanna go home?"

      Toruku runs a hand up my arm, patting my shoulder, then sighs heavily. I couldn't imagine how tired he must be after today. His thoughts must've been wearing him down. "Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I don't wanna leave you all alone."

      "No need, Sugawara will help me get home, remember?" I ask him, followed by a moan of protest. It worried me that Sugawara and Toruku most likely wouldn't get along, especially since both seemed so compatible at first.

      Both his hands leave mine and lay in his lap. "And what's with this Suga guy, Y/n? Is he your buddy?" His voice echoed through the band room, stabbing the back of my brain while I think for an answer that wouldn't sound suspicious. I would say no, but who knew what the future could hold.

"I dunno. But he means no harm! At least I think so.." Tired from squatting, I lift to stand on both feet properly. Toruku slides his hand away from my figure and brings it towards his face. It covers his mouth as he once again sighs. "You seem tired after today, Ruku. Is it because of Moku?"

Hopefully, I hadn't overstepped any boundaries with what I had said. Hopefully, I was remotely correct about why he looked so down. "Yeah, it is. I won't act as if it doesn't bother me because I know it bothers you too. Although it's been three years, I still feel very guilty for going on without her."

'At least he knows I'm here with him.' I thought, moving to the bean bag I had been in just a few moments ago. By her, I meant Torukus passed girlfriend, and my best friend: the reason I practically stopped living at the age of fifteen. Honestly, Toruku and I weren't even really that close. I knew her as her boyfriend and he knew me as her best friend. And as close as we were to her, we were never friends. Moku's death only brought us closer to each other, stirring up the beginning of a rock band.

      "I know what you mean. I do. Thankfully, this birthday of hers went better than the last two, wouldn't you say?" I ask, leaning on my elbows that sat on my knees.

      "Definitely. The previous ones all ended up in fights and long makeups. I guess we're just more laid back about it now," He explains, getting up from his seat, and browsing the instruments that were hung on the wall. His fingers wrap around his belt loops as he stands. "I feel bad for getting over her so quickly."

       "I know exactly what you mean. Never forget that I'm right here next to you, Toruku. That we've gotten through this together instead of alone. Although I wish you had talked to me more when it had first happened, I was all alone!" I chuckle at the last part, even if it wasn't funny at all. "I think the life we made out of our relationship has turned out for the better. Look where we are now: moving to American in about a year to sign to a label. Wouldn't she be proud we've gotten so far?"

      "Maybe you're right," Toruku says, leaning against the back wall. His hair danced over his eyes barely, as they stared right at me. "Maybe you should hit up Toru and Hajime, ask how they're doing. They went through this too, you know."

      "Yeah, I know. I haven't because I'm afraid of what they'll say, or if they even say anything at all. They're both a part of a very different social class after all. If anything, I'll probably get a simple thumbs up on my message." My voice grows low, expressing my tiredness from this conversation already.

      Toru and Hajime were two other people that used to be in my friend group with Moku throughout our childhood. Both were loud and expressive and played volleyball, but they were also very kind and friendly towards Moku, Toruku, and me. Once middle school had started, the five of us grew closer and closer by the second. We joined volleyball clubs, hung out at our houses practically every day, and grew popular throughout the years. But once Moku had passed, we all fell apart. She was what held us together after all.

       Both Hajime and Toru decided to go to another high school, and Toruku and I went to another. After that, we hadn't heard a single word from them.

      "It's worth a try, Y/n. We wouldn't want to seem inconsiderate." Toruku says as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pockets, as well as a lighter. After lighting one, the smoke leaves his mouth slowly, as he continues. "I wish you would at least try to make amends between them. You were closer to them than I ever was."

     "I'll try. Just not now."

———

       After another hour of practice with Toruku, the two of us stood silent on our phones while we waited for Sugawara. Something told me that he had gotten lost. Either that, or he just forgot about me, which I wouldn't blame him for.

       But right when I was about to tell Toruku that we should go home, a message from an unknown number had shown up on the top of my phone screen that alarmed me.

      [Text Message: ###-###-####]

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on the school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

     [Reply to ###-###-####]

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

       After the second the message gave me a preview, I fully entered the screen. It had a profile picture, but not a contact name. Although, that was my very first-year-like of me to be irresponsible. [Sugawara] read the title after I'd edited it, and nothing more. Only a few brief messages that we had just sent to each other.

Sugawara

  

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

Actually, right number! But seriously... I have no idea where the hell you are. Is it off-campus? I might just cry if I don't figure this out. I've been at it for a solid ten minutes.

Ten minutes?? Damn boy, you could've just asked to meet me in the cafeteria or something. Toruku and I have been waiting here for a while as well.

Sorry!!

No need to apologize.

- you have started sharing your location with {Sugawara}-

Thanks. See you in a bit.

      After discussing where I was hanging, I decided to look more into this saved contact. 'Had I really been so close to him as to have discussions with him?' I think as I decide to read a few more messages above our most recent convo. They only consisted of homework answers, tutoring questions, and a few more comments about school festivals and such. A good ten invites to a volleyball game were stored in there as well. I hadn't realized how much he had meant to me just two years ago. Time flies, taking most of your memories with you.

      A few more moments went by before a knock came upon the room's entrance door, as well as the voice of someone behind it. "Uhm— hello..? Is this the right room?"

     "No, go away," Toruku replies in a deeper, scarier voice as he shuffled towards the door to reveal Sugawara standing there alone with a frightened expression.

      Suga sighed, putting a hand over his chest while he smiled. "That gave me a heart attack." He says, fixing his eyes towards my sitting figure. "Ready to go?"

     I nod, lifting from my seat and stretching out my arms while yawning loudly. "God, I'm tired," I mumble to myself, gathering my bag and the tie and jacket I had taken off, before slowly walking over towards Sugawara. "Isn't it after practice? Shouldn't you be all tired and worked out?"

    "Oh, no. Today was only focused on the new players, which honestly didn't go so well." He explained, finishing with a soft chuckle. Though I could tell it was filled with disappointment, for the way he looked down on the floor was purely depressing.

      But quickly steered the conversation another way to distract him from it; that was the least I could do. "Oh, well, today it was just Toruku and me. But thankfully we just recorded some extra vocals so we didn't have to record the rest of the teams' jobs."

     Sugawara distracts himself, taking small glances around the room as I explain to him what we did. He observes the different colors and pictures on the walls, the furniture we helped ourselves to, and the instruments gathered onto the wall. "It looks quite comfortable in here. To be honest, I'm surprised that the school even lets you decorate this place all by yourselves."

       "They didn't, they just don't know about it. It's quite convenient if you ask me.." I mumble, shuffling from one foot to the other. What I said was no lie, we were truly blessed to have had a room to ourselves here on campus. If it wasn't for the band teacher who had shown it to us, we probably would've spent our practice time in a garage where there's no AC or comfortable floors.

      Meanwhile, Toruku explained to Sugawara the reasoning behind each decoration, I check the timing. It was 6:00 PM, just in time for my mother to get home from work.

      "Should we get going?" I ask the grey-haired boy, as he's brought back to reality. He and Toruku sharply turn, pausing their supposedly intriguing conversation, as he nodded to my question.

       "I guess so. Well, thank you for showing me this place, I never would've discovered it if it wasn't for you two." Sugawara states, bowing towards the blonde boy with a cigar.

      "Alright, I'll catch you later, Y/n. And it was nice meeting you today, Sugawara." After I have a small hug to Toruku and said my goodbyes, Suga and I were out the door.

      Our walk began with the two of us climbing down a few stairs, and jogging towards where the sidewalk actually began. From there on, it was easy getting towards the main part of campus, and walking home would be a piece of cake. For Sugawara, I mean.

       "So, do you walk home every day?" I ask, tightening my hands around my bento box. The silence between us rested heavily on my chest; not a single word left his mouth.

       But it may have been because he was stuck in his own little world, for soon after my question, he blinked his eyes a couple of times and cleared his throat. "Oh, no— not really. I only walk after practice when I stay late. But on free days, like in the morning, I ride the bus."

       Nodding, I explain my way of getting to and from school as well. "Me too. Well, usually my mother would drive me before school even started. Either that or I would ride my skateboard and hide it in some gutter. You know how angry the school gets about skateboards." I laugh, hoping he'd approve of joking with school rules. But knowing Sugawara, he probably already knew I bend some.

       "Ah, yes. That's convenient. But how far did you live before moving into [Neighborhood]? Surely not too far, right?" He questions, looking down at me for an honest answer.

        I widen my eyes at this, making my answer to his questions obvious already. "Uhm.. no! Just a mile and a half away, not a big deal.." My head turns the other way while I giggle at Sugawara's shock. It wasn't a big deal for me at all, I didn't mind getting the few extra steps in the morning. As for him, he must have not had to walk that far every day to understand. I didn't blame him for being so surprised. It wasn't every day you find someone who voluntarily walks that far.

      "Oh— that's.. that's a lot! I'm sorry that you had to do that. It must have been hell! But thankfully you have someone to join you on transportation, right?" Sugawara gives me side-eyes, as a smile appeared on his pale face.

      "Yeah.. you're right." My sentence runs low in the cold, shaking as I shift from the sidewalk to the road. The pavement felt hard and slippery due to the transition from winter to spring, yet it was still freezing outside.

      "You know... it was strange bumping into you today. To be honest, I feel like I'm fifteen again. I think that's just how you make others feel, you know?" My words come out abruptly, but I didn't mind. After today's long day all I wanted was one honest conversation.

     Thankfully, Sugawara felt the same I did. "Spending time with each other must have brought back lots of memories, even if they were small." He says to me, observing the way my feet jumped from the curb to the street.

      The feeling he brought was like a scent from years ago when you're a little kid. Whether you're reading by a window, or running through a meadow, you'd forgotten it ever even tickled your senses.

     "It's kind of strange. Even if we weren't best friends, you still meant a lot to me. I'm wondering whether or not you're still the same, and if that could be brought back." I explain, drawing out my arms to make a tree-like pose while I played hopscotch with the roads. The keychains that hung on my badge made a 'clunk!' noise against the ID, meanwhile, I discussed. "We've both changed so much, Sugawara."

       "You're right, we have. But for the better, you know? I think at the moment I'm mentally healthier than in the past year. And as for you, I think anyone can see that. I don't mean that your time of grief was a mistake, but I'm happy that you've been nicer to yourself."

       "Yeah, me too." My words stutter, interrupted by the loud engine behind me. Sugawara and I quickly turn towards the noise, widening our eyes at how close the vehicle was. Suddenly, an ear-piercing honk is signaled from the driver, and I'm quickly pulled from in front of the car to under a streetlight in one's arms.

       The action is hasty and happened in just a split second, but enough to save me from being run over. Barely comprehending what had just occurred, I freeze in place just like the slippery road. And as the car honks off, I'm left, once again, alone with Suga. Only this time, uncomfortably in his arms.

     Lightning travels down my back once I realize I was being held by a stronger, warmer body. Both my arms were being tightly held by his, and my body barely being separated from his by an inch. I stared right into his eyes, as he did so as well.

     "Y/n, you. you've got to be careful. Be careful."

      Sugawara's words ring in my ears, as I rapidly blink to regain consciousness. Immediately after, a scatter to search for my school bag, which was thrown only a few feet away from me. After retrieving it, I quickly stand onto my feet and turn to Suga, who's already prepared to continue our walk.

      "I'll be careful."

      With that, the two of us continue our journey towards home in silence once more.

      I've gotta be careful with Sugawara.

——

Thanks for coming back to read :) I know my story is crappy but I've only been writing for a little so you could understand why. Please please vote for my chapters, thank you.

- star

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Eight

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Seven

Read here on wattpad

A/N: Question — what song do you think of when you think of Nikki and Viv? I'm trying to see something

Word count: 3.3k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Sexual situations, Drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @triplehaitches @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

My bare feet hook underneath his thighs the second I realize he's about to  finish and he gives a crooked smirk up at me, his breathing beginning to shallow.

Nikki holds my hips still, groaning out as his cum coats the inside of me, causing me to let out a hazey moan, my mind cloudy from our rather lengthy round.

Once he's finished, I'm getting off of him and falling beside him, catching my breath as we recover is silence fore several minutes.

"Are you on birth control or something?" He asks me out of nowhere and I tense up, looking at him.

"Why're you asking?"

"I've been thinking about it since Vince and Sharise had Skylar, for some reason. I mean, I haven't used a rubber since we started dating and most of the time I don't pull out, and we've only had one pregnancy scare in the past, what, like, four years?"

"You've managed to keep track of how long we've been together?" I ask him, pretending to be shocked and he gently hits my arm with the back of his hand, and I chuckle, rolling over to face him, my lips pressing to his bicep for a moment.

I think I'm in the clear, dodging his question, but I'm not.

"I'm being serious, Viv, are you on something or...?" He asks and I lick my lips.

"Maybe my antidepressant affects fertility, I don't know." I shrug, lying through my teeth. "Drugs can cause issues on your end, too, so maybe that's another reason."

"Oh." He replies.

I avoid looking at him, sitting up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed before reaching down to grab his shirt by my feet.

You know those lies, that start simple and small, and then snowball more and more over time and explode in flames from hell that melt the snow and turn it into scalding hot water that leaves third-degree burns on the person that's being lied to? Yeah, we both had lots of those, and that was one of mine.

I

take a shower and brush my teeth, excited for my plans tonight, and as I start putting makeup up on, Nikki's getting in the shower.

"Are you and Robin going out tonight?" I ask him.

"Uh, yeah. Sparkie's coming, too." He replies and I roll my eyes.

I know they'll go out to a club and hide in the bathroom, shooting up and snorting blow a  majority of the time, only leaving to get some drinks.

"My doctor was really curious as to why I needed a refill so soon being that he gave me a month supply a week before Sparkie traded it." I comment to remind him Sparkie's a piece of shit.

"Sparkie learned his lesson, baby." He tells me in a half-chuckle and I raise my brows at myself in the mirror and turn the sink on.

"Jesus fuck, Viv!" He screams, being bombarded with ice cold water for a moment.

"Awe, I'm sorry, maybe Sparkie can sympathize with you." I reply smartly.

He's getting out of the shower, covered in suds, glaring at me, and I take off running with him chasing close behind.

"Spoiled brat!" He calls at me, the both of us naked as jaybirds.

"Trader bastard!" I say back, right before he catches me, pulling me against his wet, soapy body, his hands not skipping a moment to start tickling me.

I squeal, the both of us falling to the floor, my feet and legs kicking out of instinct.

"Don't you do it." He threatens. "Remember what happened last time."

"Not my fault you're a pussy." I reply, immediately regretting it when he starts tickling me again, this time, getting on top of me to pin me down.

He doesn't let up until I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears, and he's tired of struggling with me.

We look at each other for a minute, before he grins and kisses me.

"I gotta finish getting ready." He tells me, getting off of me and helping me up.

"Yeah, I do, too."

I decided a nice trip to Malibu would be a great thing for GN'R. I mean, go to Tansy's house there, have her invite over some of her single girl friends to mingle with the guys, stay over night so they don't have to worry about whether or not they'd be able to crash at their stripper friends' apartment and sleep on the floor that night, have a nice breakfast together the next morning, and just give Axl and Izzy time to really get to know Tansy, because they haven't hung out with her very much, while Slash, Duff and Steven see her almost more than I do.

I glance around the living room of Tansy's Malibu beach house, seeing beach bunnies all around with perfectly tanned skin, bombshell hair and perfect smiles, then look at Steven and Slash, who seem to be having a pretty good time.

They both look like they're in heaven, girls on either side of them, obviously fans of their work on the Sunset Strip back in L.A.

Izzy took a girl up to the guest bedroom long ago, while Axl's just nursing a bottle of Jack, with a beautiful brunette chattering his ear off while he's pretending not to care about what Tansy's doing as she talks to one of her girl friends across the room.

I do a mental head count, and notice my 6'4 blonde is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he found a girl or two of his own and followed in Izzy's footsteps, taking over a spare room?

I brush it off, deciding it's none of my business and step to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi out of the fridge. 

When I pass by the doors that lead to the balcony over looking the ocean, though, I see the outline of someone sitting in the lounge chair. 

Recognizing the slender frame, I grab my soda and head outside, Duff looking over his shoulder to see who I am, before smiling at me innocently, bottle of Vodka by his foot and pack of Marlboros on one knee as a sketch pad and pen are being supported by his other.

"Hi." I say as he scoots over to make room for me. "Mr. Social Butterfly." I add, sarcastically.

"Hey." He replies, moving his Vodka over so I won't knock it down with my foot.

"I figured you be eating that up." I motion to the door, referring to the gorgeous girls inside and he chuckles a little.

"I don't know, I haven't really been feeling chicks lately." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.

"Well, I'm sure she has some boy friends, too, if you're feeling something different." I inform him, knowing what he meant, but he laughs and shakes his head.

"Not like that, Viv." He tells me and I pull my red hair behind my shoulders to get it out of my face, before taking a sip of my drink. "I've been, uh, working on something new, kinda. The lyrics have been going off left and right in my head, I just thought I'd better get somewhere quiet and write them down before I lose them." He explains, holding up his notepad.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I feel like I've intruded, or messed up his groove, about to leave him alone to finish but he puts his hand on my knee to stop me from standing up.

"No, no, it's fine." He insists, taking his hand off of me, not thinking anything of it, despite me feeling warmth radiate from where he touched me.

I ignore it.

"I've already gotten everything I had in mind, so far." He explains. "Just a verse and chorus."

"What's the name of it?" I ask, and he scratches the back of his neck.

"I don't know if I need to tell you. I'm superstitious about this stuff, Viv." He tells me, even though he's completely full of shit.

He just wants to aggravate me.

"It's just the title, Duff. You let me hear you say 'turn around, bitch, I gotta use for you' and this can't be worse than that." I point out and he chuckles, licking his lips before looking at me.

His hand covers the lyrics, exposing the title line of the page.

"Paradise City" is scribbled in his writing and I smile when he moves his hand and let's me read  the chorus, and verse that he's gotten so far, a giant smile pulling at my lips.

"Who the hell inspired this?" I ask him, raising my brows.

"Nobody particular." He shrugs. "You like it?"

"I already love it." I tell him.

Not to compare two completely different bands who earned their names all on their own, but there are a few song parallels between Guns N' Rose's Appetite for Destruction, and Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls albums.

Guns' Welcome to the Jungle was like Mötley's Wild Side. Paradise City was like Girls, Girls, Girls. Mr. Brownstone was like Dancing on Glass. But my favorite parallel has to be Sweet Child O Mine and You're All I Need.

I remember Nikki had given me a tape of You're All I Need after we got into a massive argument because he thought I was spending too much time with Duff. But he had practically accused me of having feelings for Duff, and even acting on them (which was pretty hypocritical being that he'd been screwing Vanity since 1986 at that point.)

A few weeks later, Nikki convinced me to come down to the studio so he could personally give me a copy of a song he had written me, and me--being excited--decided I wanted the guys to hear it, too.

I went to the Franklin Plaza where Steven, Duff, Slash, Izzy and Axl were hanging out, discussing a meeting they'd had with their label.

When I told them Nikki wrote a love song about me (thinking it was his way of trying to patch up our marriage and say to the world "I love this woman") the guys had to hear it, not believing me.

The ballad started beautifully, tears coming to my eyes, but my warmed heart quickly began boiling in my chest by the time the second chorus ended.

"I don't think this is a love song." Izzy stated, while shaking his head a little.

"Yeah, uh...he's talking about killing you." Axl had told me, everyone seemed slightly disturbed.

"Your girlfriends get Sweet Child O Mine and what does the dedicated wife that has done nothing but love this sick bastard get?! A song dedicated to his deep desire to murder me!"

"Dude, hasn't he actually tried to kill you before?" Steven asked.

Which made the song even more ironic, along with the last line of the chorus, "and I loved you but you didn't love me" which in itself was slap in the fucking face.

I didn't hear the full song at that time because Duff had took it out of the player and stomped it under his cowboy boot.

That pretty much set the tone for the months to come.

"You're also incredibly biased." He replies in the same tone and I nudge him with my elbow.

"You don't know how many songs I have actually had to tear out of Nikki's hand and hide them from him because they were so bad I just could not allow them to be recorded." I tell him.

"Oh, please." He brushes me off.

"Have you heard 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask him with raised brows.

"Yeah."

"Home Sweet Home and Smokin' in the Boy's Room were the only really good ones. And Smokin' in the Boy's Room was a cover. The other songs were songs I didn't know were written, or I would have hid them from him, too." I state and he tries not to laugh, but fails, making himself snort, which kickstarts my laughter. 

Once we settle down, he clears his throat, and gets a kind of serious expression on his face.

"I really wish he wasn't on that shit, Viv." He tells me and I don't even have to ask who he's talking about. "I mean, I'm not judging him or whatever because Izzy and Slash are in on that stuff, too, but...I just hate to see he's on it, because it's kinda hard to manage it once you hit a certain point, ya know?" He asks and I nod a little. "I think he's a pretty cool guy...so it sucks to see him act like that."

"It's not that bad, right now." I tell him, completely in denial. "He's still Nikki, he just does stuff he's not suppose to. That's nothing new to me."

"I'm just a little worried, is all." He admits.

"There's no need to be." I reassure him. "He's got a handle on things."

Dear God did I eat those words a week later in Dallas, Texas.

It's like watching a fucking car accident. 

Except instead of a car, it's my husband, and instead of a car accident, it's him losing his ever loving mind, crouched on the hotel room desk, as he babbles on, making absolutely no sense as he shouts at his parents who aren't even present.

I just came back from the pool, got a shower, and came in to him doing this.

"Nikki!" I try to get him out of whatever drug-induced show he's on.

"I'm not me! I'm not Nikki! I'm someone else!" He insists, hands yanking at his hair, his eyes completely taken over by an entirely different beast. 

I panic, immediately calling Fred.

"The fuck is wrong?!" He asks when I open the door, hearing Nikki's screaming and carrying on and I try to keep the absolute fear that's locking up my system from showing.

"I-I don't know. I got in from the pool and he was kinda jittery but I thought he'd done some blow, but then he started screaming when I was in the shower and now he's--"

Fred gets tired of hearing Nikki's meaningless shrieks at people who aren't in the room with us, and snatches him off the desk.

Nikki hits the floor, and a switch is flipped, sending him into strong convulsions, opting thick, white foam to pour from his mouth.

"Fuck, Sixx!" Fred lets out, turning him on his side. "Get me a roll of toilet-paper." He barks at me and I do as I'm told, saying a very colorful, silent prayer in my head. 

He tries to get Nikki to bite down on it to keep him from biting his tongue, but Nikki can't do it. screaming instead.

When I think I can't take the confused, scared, out-of-character shrill, it's like God himself knocks Nikki out, leaving Fred and I in complete silence, riddled with what just happened.

Fred checks his pulse and sighs in relief, looking at me.

"Viv, are you alright?" He asks me, taking deep breaths.

"Y-yeah." I say, nodding, even though I know it's written all over my face that I can't be further from "alright."

"Vivian--"

"I just need a second." I tell him, standing up to go to the bathroom, disguising oncoming tears in a strong, steady voice that's physically uncomfortable to push past the lump in my throat.

I lock myself inside the bathroom and turn the water back on, gripping the counter before I find myself in the floor, quiet sobs rocking through me.

I just want my Nikki back...not this tainted demon nesting himself in Nikki's skin, festering his bullshit in Nikki's mind.

By the time I'm worn down from crying, and tired from lying on the bathroom floor, I pull myself up and open the bathroom door, stepping into the room.

I guess Fred put Nikki in the bed before he left, because Nikki's still passed out, just tucked in the covers. 

I get pajamas on, scared to even touch him because I don't want him to start seizing again.

Cautiously getting closer to him, nestling my forehead against his arm, I thank God for the feeling of his pulse under my finger tips in the crook of his arm, and find myself passing out with utter exhaustion.

The next morning, Nikki's really quiet.

I'm not sure if he remembers what happened last night, but I'm not asking him. 

After finding a needle and evidence of an 8-ball of coke, he can lick my twat if he thinks I'm talking to him anytime soon. 

The video shoot for Home Sweet Home is happening today, and a limo picks Nikki and I up at the hotel, driving us to the venue, neither of us acknowledging the other. 

Once we get there, someone's dressing Nikki like a damn toddler, because he's too fucked from last night to dress himself in his done up stage costume.

Nikki was so, so, so, obviously, utterly fucked up when they filmed the music video for Home Sweet Home. 

The entire time, he was chugging Jack to try to calm himself down from a high he later described felt like, "being on acid and speed at the same time" and with the way he was acting like he couldn't see a damn thing, I believe it. 

He kept sunglasses on a majority of the time so people couldn't see how his eye were practically doing cartwheels. 

"Viv, we're about to start, where's Nikki?" His bass tech asks me and I glance around, furrowing my brows a little.

"I haven't seen in him about an hour. He went over there by the stage...at least I think he did." I tell him, stepping over to the last place I saw him. "He was here and..." I trail off, hearing Nikki having a full blown conversation, his voice coming from underneath the stage.

The two of us sit and listen for a moment, realizing Nikki's just talking, taking long pauses, then answering a question that was never asked by anybody, not even himself.

"Who is he talking to?" His tech asks me under his breath so Nikki won't hear.

I roll my jaw, getting fed up.

"Probably the fucking demon he sees and befriends every time he gets high." I state, fully believing that at this point, there is indeed a demon following him around, breathing down his neck, stripping him of his control and cheering him on with each grain of coke, bottle of Jack, cc of heroin and prescription-grade pill.

"Nikki," His tech starts. "Who're you talking to?"

"I'm talking. Leave me alone." Nikki argues.

"Nikki." I state, looking at him. 

It's the first time he's heard my voice all day.

"There's nobody there, baby. C'mon." I motion my hand for him to get out from under the stage.

"Leave me alone!" He snaps at me, nearly hissing.

"Dude, calm down, you're freaking out." His tech tells him. 

"Nikki, get your ass out from under there or so help me God, I will come in and drag you out by your dick." I promise him. 

He puffs up like a pissed off rooster and stomps out, passing by us, grumbling under his breath.

Do you wanna know what was really fucked up about that time? Vince couldn't have a beer without someone losing their mind. He was supposed to be sober. Nikki would bust Vince's balls if he even saw him looking at a bottle...but then Nikki would load anything and everything into his body, simultaneously.

Vince quickly became the odd man out, and had been ever since that night with Razzle. There was this vibe, this tension, that Vince was only kept in the band at that time, because they were getting hotter and hotter, and each member was the ticket to reach their full potential as a band. Each member was important.

Without Tommy, there was no band. Without Mick, there was no band. Without Nikki, there was no band.

And without Vince, there was no band...that was the one that really didn't sit too well with Sikki.

[rainyrowan]

Sunkissed - Chapter 1

description: Wedding of the century rolls around as the previous college clique, along with the rest of their family members, stay in preparation for it. During this time, Riley meets Lucas, a gorgeous, green-eyed wallflower who happens to be immediately taken by her. Little did she know, he has a deep secret. One that will either change her views on him forever or make her feel closer to his world.

word count: 2,626

pairings: riley x lucas

Song: Annabelle’s Homework by Alec Benjamin

chapter one; riley

Sparkley Farkley: Did you know that the slowest marathon time ever is 54 years, eight months, six days, eight hours, 32 minutes, and 20.3 seconds? Yeah, in 1912, an Olympic marathoner from Japan supposedly disappeared during the middle of a race. Some say that he stopped to get a drink from an outdoor party, but ended up staying longer than he should have. Risque, if you ask me. Anyways, he was too embarrassed to finish the race, so he flew back to Japan instead. Years later, he decided to finish what he started by running the whole marathon himself. What I'm trying to say is WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Riley, you're seriously taking much longer to get to the boardwalk than this Japanese marathon guy. Hurry!!

I looked at the horrifically long paragraph Farkle had sent me and sighed. Being best friends with him also meant being best friends with your very own encyclopedia, which can be extremely useful at times. Although, it really isn't when your phone is constantly being bombarded with numerous texts about everything and nothing.

Gentle reminder that I live farther from the beach than you do. I'll be there soon! Don't miss me too much :)

I quickly text back. I gripped onto my camera strap, which is draped over my shoulder, as I start quickening my pace.

When we became closer over the years, Farkle and I both created a tradition of spending almost every Saturday down at the boardwalk. In regards to this, the main rule that we've agreed upon would be that if one of us couldn't make it, we would have to have an extremely valid excuse. Me being the more "laid back" friend, I've been pretty lenient on Farkle if he couldn't make it. Wish I could say the same about him, though.

Last night, I had to stay up till two in the morning helping my mother out at the flower shop. Arranging flowers isn't as easy as one may think. In result, I woke up later than usual, causing me to be about 30 minutes late. So far, I've received a fact text from him for every minute I ran late. It truly amazes me how he could just drop these facts off the top of his head.

I'm practically already running when I see Farkle by the entrance, arms crossed.

"I'm sorry!" I pant. I take a second to breathe before I continue speaking. "I.. I woke.. Wow, I'm not cut out to be.. an athlete, huh?" I joke.

He rolls his eyes as a grin forms on his face. "Where were you?"

"I was up all night helping my mom with the flowers. I woke up super late. I'm so sorry."

He nods in approval of my excuse. "That's okay. However, I don't think we could go to the diner now. Brooklyn and her minions are there. Seated in our spots too!"

The thought of Brooklyn made me sick to my stomach. Brooklyn was the Regina George of Harbor High School, and basically all of Santa Cruz. Like your typical teen cliche, she was the popular girl who also the prettiest. Brooklyn also had her own entourage, as she always had two minions following her. With her bitchy personality, you may say that it's surprising that she gets all the guys. With her body, though, it really isn't. It's probably how she had my crush of four years and counting, Charlie Gardner, falling for her.

"Well, I guess we would have to postpone our meal then," I say, linking my arms with his. We enter the boardwalk and head straight for the arcade. We're surrounded by all the games you could never ever get tired of. From Dance Dance Revolution to laser tag to racing games, the Santa Cruz Boardwalk Casino Arcade has you covered. Farkle and I have our common favorite, air hockey.

He let go of my arm, dashing straight to the air hockey table. "You ready to get your ass beat?"

He asks, slipping in a token. We love each other very much, but when it comes to air hockey, it's like we're two different people.

"You should be asking yourself that, Minkus." As air starts to shoot through the tiny holes from the table, we both grabbed our paddles. Suddenly, the puck falls through my pocket instead of Farkle's. "Well, that's a first! I guess I'm starting."

I hit the puck as hard as I can towards his goal. Hoping that this time my first hit would make it, he blocks the puck in a swift move and smiles. "Not today." This goes on for quite a bit. I concentrate on the puck as it glides across the table back and forth. That is, until a distraction came my way. Charlie.

I offer him a double take before actually realizing that it was him. He probably didn't even notice me, which was a good thing on my part. I didn't want him to know that I was here. Out of impulsive thinking, I ducked down to hide behind my side of the table. This wasn't really the best decision, though. Farkle managed to make a goal and yell on behalf of his victory. I don't even have to see what's happening to know that attention was surely brought towards us.

"Farkle!" I call out in a whisper. He walks around the table and takes a seat next to me.

"So, explain to me why we're hiding behind- "

"Riley!" Charlie exclaims. Mortified, I lift my head up to find him standing right in front of us.

"Hi, Charlie." I saw awkwardly. Thankfully, Farkle gets up off the ground and pulls me up, as I was too scared to even move.

Farkle clenches is jaw subtly enough that no one could notice, except for me. It's safe to say that he never liked Charlie. I don't blame him. Most of the time, he can be a total jackass.

I'm not too sure how or why I've liked him for so long, and still currently do. I like to think it's because of the fact that I'm always seeking the best in people. I don't necessarily like making assumptions out of people based on looks or first encounters. For Charlie, I realized how much of a good person he is, deep down, whilst working on a school project with him in the public library. My father, who so happened to be my teacher, assigned both of us as partners for a project that we had to turn in a matter of three days. Within those three days, we'd head to the library at night to work, but we were never productive. All we did was talk. Well, all Charlie did was talk. About himself, of course. I would just sit and listen. It was kind of odd not taking part in the conversation, but I mostly did not mind. As a matter of fact, I remember feeling like it was for the best since I would most likely say something stupid. Plus, I got to learn more about him and who he truly was. The downside of it was that I had to take our project home and finish it myself, but I thought that it was worth it. From that moment on, I couldn't help but keep thinking about him, about us.

Charlie extends his hand out to Farkle, expecting a shake, but he steps back. "I'll wait for you outside." He tells me. No, no. Please don't leave me alone with him.

"Well, that was awkward." He laughs. "But anyways, I am so glad I caught you. I was wondering if you're free like right now? I was hoping that you could help me out with something."

Crap. As much as I would love to help him, I promised Farke that I would spend the day with him. However, as I was looking up at Charlie's mesmerizing brown eyes, I seem to have ignored that fact. "Um, sure." I squeaked. I clear my throat and try again. "What would I be helping you with exactly?"

"You see, we're doing headshots in drama, and you're kind of known to be a really talented photographer," I blush as he says so.  Along with the fact that his words make me swoon, another thing about Charlie that I liked was the fact that he is a performing arts fanatic. I'm presuming that it's something that he would like to achieve in the future. He's actually really talented if I'm being honest.

"So, would it be alright if you got a couple of portrait shots of me by the beach?" Charlie asks.

"Maybe in return, I can buy you a milkshake afterward."

Farkle is so going to kill me after this.  "Er, okay."

"Great! C'mon, let's go." He starts heading towards the exit as I trail behind him. Hoping that he was the gentleman I thought he'd be, I expected him to open the door for me. Instead, he ends up leaving it to close behind him. I sigh, disappointed for getting ahead with my thoughts. Once I've exited the arcade, I immediately scan my surroundings in search for Farkle.

"I'm here." He calls out from behind me. I turn to find him leaning against a wall.

"You're going to hate me," I confess.

A smirk creeps up on his face. "Not gonna lie, I was already kind of assuming."

"You're not mad?"

"No," Farkle says softly. "I still hate that bastard, though. But I mean if you like him that much-"

I pull him into a hug. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Yeah, okay." He wraps his arms around my back and chuckles lightly.

"Riley?" Charlie yells.

I pull away from Farkle and adjust my outfit. This would technically be the first time I get to hang out with Charlie alone, so I obviously want to look presentable. However, that's clearly not the case since I'm currently in my maroon Harvard sweater that Farkle had actually bought me from when he visited last year, along with a pair of faded ripped jeans.

"Do I look okay?" I ask.

He holds two thumbs up. "Can't say no to a girl in Ivy League gear."

"I love you, and thanks a bunch!" I plant a quick kiss on his cheek before running towards Charlie.

Once I've caught up to him, we both head to the beach together.

I truly do love the beach. I love the ambiance of waves crashing against the shore, along with the wailing of seagulls as they soar across the sky. Not to mention, the smell of the ocean beach as well. Everything about the beach is so captivating and peaceful, especially since it's a little early and not a lot of people are here. The afternoon is the absolute worst time to visit the beach. The fact that there are so many people who usually come on a day to day basis, makes me a little anxious to go.

Charlie leads me to where the dock is located. Farkle and I would usually come to take pictures underneath the dock. This area is quite aesthetically pleasing.

"I think this is a great spot." He says, placing his bag down as I begin to adjust the settings of my camera. I let him know that I'm ready once everything's all set. Charlie then runs towards the shoreline and starts posing of a shot. Since I'll be capturing portrait shots, I made sure that my camera is set so all my photos can have a shallow depth of field. This way, Charlie will be in focus as the background will be a bit blurry. After taking a few photos here and there, I stop to look at them. Charlie was perfectly centered, the lighting was on point, and all shots have great composition. Perfect. I think to myself. However, Charlie apparently doesn't exactly think so when he sees them.

"Yeah, this situation just isn't working for me. Let's try something different." He looks around for a moment. "Here, why don't you get some bird-eye shots of me laying on the sand."

I was a little offended that he didn't like the photos I originally took. I spoke out, irritated. "I thought we were taking portraits?"

"I'm just trying to think outside of the box here, Riles. Maybe the photos will turn out better." I scoff at what he had just said. What difference does it make? You're just going to be lying down. And I thought all headshots were portraits. There he goes acting like a douche, but here I am, still taking interest in him.

Charlie lies down on the sand and places his hand behind his head. From the looks of it, he could pass for a Hollister or Abercombie & Fitch model.  I stand directly on top of him to get good shots. If I'm being honest, this isn't the ideal position I'd want to be in. It's a little uncomfortable and weird, really.

Suddenly, water hits the shore and Charlie attempts to save his khaki pants by jerking straight up. Instead, jerking straight up somehow caused me to tumble forward, allowing both of us to fall back down. I also end up dropping my camera on the sand. Water continues to run beneath Charlie, which caused his whole outfit to be soaked. "Shit!"

The water still kept going around us. I panic as I watch it slowly ooze towards my camera. Miraculously, the water stopped before it could reach it. I graciously let out a sigh of relief. "Will you get the fuck off of me now?!" He yells in annoyance. I flinched when he does so and realize that what was happening: I was on top of Charlie Gardener. Because I was on top of him, I didn't get hit by the water at all. I quickly scurried to my feet and grabbed my camera.  I turned to Charlie, who was still really angry that he was drenched. He got up from the ground and gathered his stuff. "Thanks to you," He snaps. "I am soaking wet, and I have rehearsals for the musical after this!"

I feel a familiar tightness gripping my throat. As Charlie continues to curse at me, a burning heat rushes through my body and I can hardly breathe. The DJ over by the boardwalk starts blasting music that seems to be ten times louder than usual. My surroundings then become too horrifically bright. My hands become clammy as I start to lose control of my body. My vision starts to get blurry and my heartbeat begins to speed up to the point where I could hear it.

Once Charlie finishes grabbing his stuff, he walks over to me. He stops and takes a deep breath. "Just email me the photos whenever you can." And with that, he walks away. When I've lost sight of him, I walk towards the pebbles near the ocean. I stare out to sea, trying to take big breaths. I stay until I've finally coaxed my heartbeat back to normal.

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: miraculous ladybug s113-121

ep113

being able to use gestures as a power is also pretty cool

i’ve been liking all the “evil” powers so far!

ep114

hm tikki’s sick

wow they really make chloe out to be a huge selfish bitch in this show

oh prince ali is cute!

i like camembert as much as the next person but plagg really needs to get it together

was tikki helped by the power of gongs

“ancient chinese secret.. just like yours”

hm the lore grows

haha you go rose!

ep115 - "the origins"

so there are MORE miraculouses??

"the miraculous are not eant to be used for evil purposes"

okay wait miraculouses have existed for THOSUANDS of years and not one person has used it for evil purposes?? yeah okay

"i'm only 186"

WHY is marinette putting cocoa powder in her milk that's in a cereal bowl i need answers!! what is this weird french thing

love that the show says "evilize" instead of "make him evil" because the verb is such a greath shortcut

whya re the security camers visible in the library???

"is this the police? call the army!"

oh wow adrien's father is a hard ass!

also love that a supervillain is actually somehow so common in this universe that no one is making the exclamation of "supervillain?!?!??!" but more "yeah there's a supervillain"

"i only got it wrong once. it won't happen again - at least i hope not"

LOVE these transfomation seqences!! marinette's so uncomfortable but adrien took to it like a fish to water

also good to see that the transformations are a bit "forced" and part of the actual transformatio and not just a thing the animators decided to add for fun, and to fulfill a trope

marinette!!! :(

ep116

adrien!! :'(

ivan is fucking cute!!!

ivan tried but he failed oh noooo my poor baby :(

i think it's great that we're seeing how timid marinette was to the idea of ladybug, after we've sen her so confident in her role already! it shows how much she's grown into herself and her role

this is the moment that chat noir fell in love (with ladybug)

"that's the problem with superheroes. they're so.. heroic!"

oh was that a little fourth wall break?

oh a nod to king king nice nice!!

hawkmoth has a secret dream?

ohymgod ivan is precious

adrien takes chinese?? oh he's smart!

oh marinette!! yes, girl, stand up for yourself!!

this is the moment marinette fell in love (with adrien)

wow this is great this is how the fucking lovesquare starts

wow this is great

THSI IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!!!!!!

"those two are made for each other"

and we know if an old chinese dude says it must be true

ep117

adrien is being the best wingman right now

"how's adrien supposed to be the live of your life when you can't even talk to him"

i'm LOVING this whole scenario right now

ladybug literally scratched chat noir under the chin i'm-

CHAT NOIR'S EARS ARE ACTUALLY FOR LISTENING AND NOT DECORATION??????

nino and alya are totally ready!! to help adrien and marinette get together!

ep118

"the last time i set foot on a dance floor, madonna was in kindergarten"

okay but that means that the mayor is ANCIENT

adrien playnig this game between being himself and being chat noir is fun to watch

ep119

the one thing i like about the origins episodes is us seeing why marinette likes adrien, becuse he was nice to her,and he was honest with her

it really just puts into perspective why she acts so awkward around him - though that just being a schtick wasn't a bad idea either

"so go ahead: gofe"

never heard a verb form of "gofer" before

shoes on the bed ugh

a song dedicated to ladybug :3

ep120

marinette designing jagged stone's new album?!?!

good on her parent sfor being encouraging and supportive - but also next time please ask for details

i, too, deal with my anger by listening to rock

uh... i am not against guitar villain's look? it's very rockadelic haha

"i'm sure another record company would be happy with a number two chart topper"

they actually would be!! number two is actually a great spot, especially for a long-term artist

ADRIEN ASKED FOR MARINETTE'S AUTOGRAPH!!!!

god do i really have to suffer before they get together

ep121

marinette speaking chinese!

OHMYGOD PLEASE MARINETTE NEEDS ADRIEN'S HELP!! ADRIEN SPEAKS CHINESE!!! ADIREN SHOULD COME OVER!!!!

yes i was right!!!!!!

watch this uncle speak "french"

i was right haha hysterical

"cooking needs no words"

marinette absolutely killing chloe right now

chloe not liking soup is a problem because SO MUCH can go into a soup to make it fucking fantastic

a real fucking shame what chloe did though like.. why mess with someone's food

his villain suit reminds me of dbz!

seeing mayor bougeouis being active is actually the funniest part of this episode so far

i do hope that in later seasons we see chloe grow as a character and face actual consequences for her actions

"i can't wait to get home and write a song about soup!"

honestly good food will make you want to do this