#we're not even sure if we're getting any sequel at all so I think people need to calm down

[hazbinbabbling4ever]

So I get back from my mini semi-hiatus because in a few days there will be WWDITS s6 premiere and I can't miss the craziness of tumblr about the last season, and apparently I missed: - S3 of Go almost definitely cancelled cause ˚.✦.˳·˖✶⋆Rumors⋆✶ .˳·˖✦˚ - S3 of Go suddenly alive again (but what about booting NG out?) - Now it's a movie called The Finale (so new script???) - But it's all ˚.✦.˳·˖✶⋆rumors⋆✶ .˳·˖✦˚ and they're all contradictory - A bazillion of sexy backstage photos of our comedic Duo

[remidyal]

So I'm going to start speculating a little about future D20 seasons, just because we're running out of JY and thinking about that makes me sad.

My guess is that we're getting another four side quests, plus the replays of the Time Quangle live shows, before whenever the next IH season is (probably jan or feb 2025). From Dropout's production schedule, most likely at least two, probably three, and maybe all four are either already filmed or filming presently. The strikes may have disrupted this somewhat, however.

We know the names of two from the 5th anniversary video; we also know from the JY FAQ for a fact that one of these two, called "Never Stop Blowing Up" is next.

In the last few years this has been the slot for a campaign not GMed by Brennan or Aabria; I'm going to actually guess that there's a decent chance Brennan also won't be a player though I'm not at all sure of the timing with paternity leave and all. What the season is from that title could be a lot of things, though social media stars or stuntpeople have been guesses I've enjoyed. I think this is going to be a new setting, rather than something set in a preexisting universe, but I could be wrong there and there's been speculation that it might be something Starstruck (in which case I WOULD expect Brennan at the table).

GM possibilities for this or any other season even just from among people who have played on D20 before are too widespread to even do a complete list; highlights who have played on but haven't GMed for D20 and who I understand have experience (and would be excited to see) include but certainly aren't limited to Jasper, Ify, and Anjali from various side quests. Among the IH, Siobhan has made it fairly clear that she's not interested in GMing. I don't know if Ally has experience or not but they would obviously run something wild and I'd be here for it. Lou I believe has DMed home games but not actual plays; I'm uncertain if he'd be interested in running for a show, but I'd certainly watch if he did. Emily and especially Murph have a ton of experience as well but I think NADDPOD is kind of too much for Murph at least to GM outside that. Zac is low-key the IH I think is the most likely to end up GMing a season; rotating heroes is a thing, of course, but I don't think the workload there is as high as NADDPOD's.

We also know a Dungeons and Drag Queens 2 is coming at some point. The most likely format for this is a straightforward sequel with Brennan GMing for either the same four players or four different Queens, but I would actually love to see one of the players from the prior run step into the GM seat if any of them have gotten deeply into the hobby in the meantime. If they swap Brennan out for another DM here, this would maybe be the one season where I'd be delighted for it to be Murph, simply for the makeup possibilities. (One possibility is simply that he wears Cody Walsh cosplay for the season.)

I also think (or maybe I'm just trying to speak into existence) that we will get another 10-episode Aabria-GMed season this year, probably as the lead-in right before the next IH season for the third time running. Burrow's End and ACoFaF are both out of this world, stellar seasons to me (MiMa is... complicated by how much I want the property it's mocking to fade from memory, but that isn't its fault or hers) and I want to see what she does next.

Last, probably between D&DQ2 and that 10-episode season if that happens, we'll probably have another 4-6 episode original. If Brennan DMs D&DQ2 and Never Stop Blowing Up, this will probably be someone else; otherwise, not much to go off of.

It's possible that the live shows end up filling in one of these slots and are treated as a season until themselves, but I think they're going to be released not all in a row but rather to fill weeks between seasons. This might just be a greedy hope on my part, though! I do hope Brennan sits out at least one season, and I'd love it if the person who GMs who isn't Aabria or Brennan is someone who's done less prominent projects. (I'm actually talking myself into really rooting for a Zac-GMed season, though Ify's been my main hope for a long while.)

One thing that does seem to have shifted lately, specifically in Dropout's marketing - in the past, they were always extremely secretive about seasons past the currently airing one until it was complete, with the names not even known until the release of the season trailers. This changed a little when they teased Matt Mercer gming a season (which turned out to be RavWar) during Never After's airing; it's changed much more in the last two seasons, with a teaser for Junior Year coming out before Burrow's End had even started airing and with the names of multiple seasons being given in advance. It wouldn't surprise me if we continue getting little seeds for future seasons as we move forward.

[for-a-longlongtime]

JOIN US for the Triple Frontier 5th Anniversary Write-A-Thon!

Hosted by @romanarose and @for-a-longlongtime

Hello everyone!

March 13th 2024 will be the 5 year anniversary of Triple Frontier, a movie that was underrated but very precious to us all. Whether Frankie Fridays rock your world, you're a Benny kinda-person, you've got a thing for Santi, or are counting everything all the time just like Will - there are so many of us.

Charlie Hunnam announced recently that there is potential for a sequel; he is trying to get it in production and has signed on as a producer. Do we want this? HELL. YEAH. Let's be real, we've probably all thought about how that would go. So @romanarose and I wanted to drum up a little extra excitement all over the place and spread some love for this movie that many of us have watched so many times! (Probably every week. I have no shame admitting this.)

Here's what's happening

It's super simple: create a fanfic of Triple Frontier, any way you like and with any characters you want. Most people will be inclined to write a story, but we always greatly welcome other artistic interpretations. We've listed some content rules below just to make sure it's fun and accessible for everybody, so please check it out. This is for both art and fanfiction. We encourage you to utilize Twitter or Instagram if you’d like to share either, and #triplefrontier or #triplefrontier2019 on any site you post on! Even if you don't plan to participate, please feel free to share this (or other) posts.

Please note you do NOT have to write a 'sequel' to TF; any fic with any Triple Frontier character will do, in pretty much any situation. A 500 word ficlet will be awesome, as will a 20K story, a painting or digital art be!

🏳‍🌈 We are highly encouraging LGBT themes and for you to think outside of x f!reader. 🏳‍🌈 

👉 If you are writing reader insert, we strongly encourage you to encompass a broad scope of readers if you aren't going to specify the demographic. 👈 (FYI, @idolatrybarbie made a great, important post about the need of inclusive reader inserts a couple of months ago.)

All fics that fall under the rules are encouraged, so if you write Santiago Garcia x afab!f!reader, that’s great! But we’d like to take this time to encourage gay/bi pairings, trans readers, gender neutral characters or readers, or even trans interpretations of the boys. Branch out!

🚨 When you post, PLEASE tag @triplefrontier-anniversary on Tumblr and we will reblog it there. We also may reblog onto our main. Please follow that page to see what other people are writing! In the tags, please tag it triple frontier write a thon, just to make everything easily found.

If you want to post art that Tumblr doesn’t allow things like nude art, link the content in a Tumblr post, like a Twitter link, and we’ll reblog that!

If you exclusively write on AO3 or Wattpad or other, you can either make a link on a Tumblr post and tag us. Or message @romanarose privately and they’ll get this set up for you so we can reblog.

Triple Frontier Write-A-Thon Rules

We will run from March 1st to March 14th. Fics and art posted before or after will not be counted - we're trying to keep things manageabel!

This is not a dark event, sorry! Some of us enjoy dark content but wanted to keep this particular event mostly non-dark. That being said, we will allow dub con in the context of mild alcohol use, power dynamics etc. Nothing cooercive, anything sexual should be done with consent. Mostly we are looking to avoid non-con/violence. If you have questions, don’t be afraid to reach out to us!

All participants must be 18+, although smut is not required

No incest, including Millercest. No underage content, no grooming, no - do we really need to list it all here? Again, this is not a dark fic thing.

We have the right to exclude any fic that makes us uncomfortable. It’s our event.

However, we will NOT be excluding people for personal biases, unless it encroaches on our boundaries. This event is to promote Triple Frontier, not about us.

LGBTQ+ characters and themes are highly encouraged, not required. Any fandom thrives when it's inclusive, so we want to explicitely welcome and encourage authors to be themselves and write what they want! Or perhaps even try something new, if so far you've only written P boys x f!reader/OFC.

Tom is allowed. We’re not gonna tell you not to include him if that’s what your little heart desires. However, we highly encourage that your work includes at least one of the usual four guys.

(We don't know WHY you would want this but but FINE. If you must...)

We hope everyone has fun and that this will drum up some more Triple Frontier fics! It's just a fun little thing we want to do in order to celebrate all of you as authors, artists and the movie/characters that have made such an impact on many of us.

Once we start reblogging your entries at @triplefrontier-anniversary starting March 1st, remember to reblog and comment to support artists!

Please come to @romanarose or me with any questions!

PS: Just to make sure there's no confusion - this write-a-thon is explicitely about the Triple Frontier characters, so there's no RPF.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Thoughts: Philip

Honestly I might be the only one, but I wanna know more about Philip in the movie. And at the very least, I am begging for a redemption arc in the sequel.

Because they fucking cut the Kensington Breakfast scene, we barely get any of Philip in the movie. And the consequence is while we know that just like the book, Philip is an antagonistic character, we're not sure about his stance on the matter.

So the thing is Philip in the book isn't homophobic. And by that I mean that in the most generous sense: Queen Mary straight up says it's unnatural, which is the textbook definition of homophobia, but Philip says, and I quote from Henry "Essentially, I gathered that he was not surprised to discover I am not the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be, but rather surprised that I do not intend to keep pretending to be the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be" and from the man himself "I don't care if you're gay, I care that you've made this choice with him, someone with a fucking target on his back, to be so stupid and naive and selfish as to think it wouldn't completely fuck us all!"

Philip isn't necessarily against the concept of homosexuality, he's against bringing that into their family, and is worried about the conservatives turning their backs on them because of that. In a way, his stance is closer to the King in the movie than the Queen in the book.

Other stuff we can learn about Philip from the book:

he's...kind of racist, but in the form of microaggressions (his comments on Pez during Wimbleton)

He is genuinely in love with Martha, and he's kind of a hen-pucked husband (his retelling of his and Martha's suitor photos)

He started off a people pleaser, then the Queen took that and made him an asshole (explanation of why the change of attitude after Alex and Henry's photoshoot)

He wanted Arthur's approval but never got it, and resents Arthur a bit because of that (his argument with Henry before they met with the queen)

He wants to get along with his siblings, he just kept doing it the wrong way

My point is, even though a relatively minor character, Philip's motivations and character is actually painted out pretty logically if you take a closer look. His redemption in the book, his change of attitude, it makes sense if you looks back on it.

And while I can't fault the movie for cutting down details like these, this is just the way adaptation works and Matthew did an excellent job of picking and choosing, it does leave space for questions and curiosity.

The only thing I can get out of movie Philip is 1, he also loves his wife, since they're childhood sweethearts 2, the King dismisses him 3, he didn't know Henry was gay at all.

From the deleted Breakfast scene bts from Taylor and Thomas, we know that Philip is in that scene, and that Philip sees something, and is in shock.

Bur from the bts of the Thanksgiving scene, he and Martha are at the Brownstone: he's forgiven.

So here are my questions:

Is Philip homophobic in this one? Or is he also more mad about the family aspect?

Does he, at any point in the 65 deleted scenes, act like he wants to be a brother? Like he genuinely cares about his siblings

What is he reacting to during the Breakfast scene? In the book, when Henry came out to him it was just him, Henry and later Shaan, but the Breakfast has all of the Super Five there. Is he really gonna make a scene in front of all five of them?

Why is he forgiven? What is his change of heart?

I don't know, I think it's probably just me who's wondering about him of all people. But I would really like to see more of Thomas in this role (the photobooth shoots he did with Nick and Ellie, peak sibling energy) and I'm just really interested in Henry's family dynamic in the movie-verse, given that I feel like it's less black-and-white and more... realistic? than the book? There's also part of me that's somewhat sympathetic towards Philip despite being a Henry-coded girl because I feel like if I was a less feeling person, I might have ended up just like him.

Anyway, yeah. Philip redemption arc in the sequel please!!!

[wheels-of-despair]

Eddie Munson and the Best Anti-Valentine's Day Ever Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie hated everything about Valentine's Day… until he met someone who hated it more than he did. Contains: Female reader, first Valentine's Day together, high school bullshit, alternative V-Day plans, awkward jokes and excessive sarcasm, director yelling "cut!" before the good shit. Words: 2.8k-ish

This is a sequel to Eddie Munson and the Worst Valentine's Day Ever. You can read that first, read that after and pretend it's a flashback, or fine, be that way, don't read it all, see if I care. (Please read it.)

Eddie Munson hated Valentine's Day.

After an unfortunate incident in the 2nd grade, Eddie did his best to avoid the stupid non-holiday, but he was never successful. There was no escaping it. It was everywhere. He scowled when the stores would turn an entire aisle red and pink. He glowered at the ridiculous decorations littering every hallway and classroom at school. He rolled his eyes when jewelry ads took over every commercial break. He hated that people lucky enough to have someone to love waited until that one corporate-approved day to show it.

Yes, Eddie Munson hated Valentine's Day.

Until he met someone who hated it more than he did.

You hadn't been together very long. He'd been so worried about getting your first Christmas together right - which he did - he'd completely forgotten about Valentine's Day. When he realized that it was right around the corner, and he finally had someone who would expect him to acknowledge the occasion, he panicked.

Does he buy flowers or chocolate? Flowers and chocolate? What kind of flowers? What if they didn't have your favorite kind of chocolate in a heart shape? Is regular chocolate okay? What about the teddy bear situation? Would you swoon and fall into his arms, or laugh at him? Should he just tell you why he hates Valentine's Day and hope that you understood? Why was this so hard?

He expressed his concerns to Wayne, who knew how Eddie felt about the holiday. He'd caught on pretty quick to Young Eddie pretending to be sick every February 14th so he wouldn't have to go to school on Valentine's Day. Wayne had laughed at him, in that loving you're being an idiot, but I love you anyway way, and told him that "It doesn't have to be flowers and teddy bears, son. Just do something she'll like." That was not helpful, Uncle Wayne.

And then one day at lunch, about two weeks before the dreaded non-holiday, something happened that confused Eddie even more.

A cheerleader was making her way from table to table, selling chocolate roses for some dumb fundraiser. Eddie half-expected, and fully hoped, that she would just pass on by the freak table. But since the universe had it out for Eddie Munson, she stopped.

"Hi! I'm Tanya! Would any of you like to buy a chocolate rose for Valentine's Day? It benefits the basketball team's new uniform fund!" The Hellfire Club was so stunned that there was a cheerleader in their vicinity, everyone suddenly forgot how to speak. Eddie bit his tongue, trying to think of a nice way to dismiss the bubbly blonde. Until you did it for him.

"Nope, I think we're good." You picked the tomato off your burger and plopped it on Eddie's tray without looking up.

"Are you sure? It's only $1 a rose! You just fill out a card and write the name and homeroom of the person you want to send it to on this," the cheerleader shakes her hot pink clipboard, "and we'll deliver it on Valentine's Day! Everyone's doing it. It's a great way to show your friends you care, or let someone know you have a crush! And the basketball team gets new uniforms! Everybody wins!" Tanya giggles.

The Hellfire Club, finally coming to their senses, begins to shift uncomfortably. But Tanya and her dumb-ass clipboard weren't going anywhere. You turn to her and offer a tight-lipped smile. "You know what, that sounds great. Why don't you let us talk it over, and if we decide to buy, we'll come find you?"

"Okay!" she giggles again. "But make sure you buy from me! We're having a friendly competition to see who can sell the most, and nobody else wanted to ask…" Her face falls. Your gaze turns to steel.

"Ask what?" Your voice holds a challenge. The freaks? The weirdos? Eddie is stunned, not sure what the hell is happening. The rest of Hellfire remains silent, watching with wide eyes.

"N-nothing, I've gotta go meet my friend, please come find me if you decide to participate!" She vanishes quicker than she appeared. The tension in the air is so thick, Eddie could cut it with his pocketknife.

You survey the awkward teenagers surrounding you. It's the longest you've ever seen them quiet since you moved here.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you begin with a mock sincerity that quickly turns into a decent impression of Tanya, "did you guys wanna, like, support the basketball team by purchasing overpriced candy from the only cheerleader brave enough to speak to the freaks and weirdos? 'Cause I can call her back!" No takers.

"Wouldn't want anyone to feel left out when they're the only person in class who doesn't get a ten-cent chocolate rose during this month's popularity contest." You were going for sarcasm, but the way your voice softens toward the end of the sentence gives you away. Eddie feels a tightening inside his chest. Had you gone through it too?

Gareth cracks a joke about ten-cent hookers, and the dark cloud over the Hellfire table lifts. Everyone laughs, and the conversation returns to normal again. But Eddie watches you carefully, more worried than ever about how to approach the V-word with you.

Exactly seven days before the dreaded event, he gets his chance.

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

You're lying on your back on his bed, head hanging off the edge next to where he sits on the floor. You'd already finished your essay on Romeo and Juliet - wow, Romeo and Juliet for Valentine's Day, how very creative of the Hawkins High English Department - and were on standby to help Eddie with his. The question had come out of nowhere, and though he'd been thinking about it nearly nonstop for weeks, he still had no idea how to answer.

"Uh… I don't know?"

"Very helpful Edward, thank you."

"What do you want to do?" You turn your head and meet his curious but hesitant eyes. You inhale deeply and stare at the ceiling, preparing for a long one.

"I demand flowers and candy and a teddy bear holding a velvety red heart. Balloons are optional, but encouraged. You will wear a suit to school and present me with these treasures in front of the largest crowd possible, preferably on one knee. You will then take me to the Valentine's Day Dance in the prestigious Hawkins High Gym, which definitely won't reek of ball sweat like it usually does. Afterward, we will make sweet, passionate love on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring fire, and you will surprise me with a diamond of some sort." You were impressed with yourself for not breaking your deadpan during the delivery of your ridiculous demands.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, then burst out laughing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is the corporate-approved Valentine's Day plan not good enough for you?" you tease, trying to catch your breath.

After the laughter subsides, you flip over onto your stomach to see him better. He's turned to lean his back against an amp rather than the bed, so he doesn't have to turn his head to look at you. Lacing your fingers and resting your chin on them, you change gears.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. It's a dumb holiday. I just thought it would be weirder if we didn't acknowledge it at all."

He fidgets with the corner of a blanket hanging off the bed. You're not sure which one of you is more nervous at this point.

"I want to do something. But not like… a traditional something," he finally says.

"Okay," you nod. "So are we talking like a horror movie marathon, or destruction of public property, or anal?"

He chokes.

After another laughing fit, the two of you make a plan.

The Monday before Valentine's Day, which was on a Thursday, you and Eddie walked into school together and both froze. You took in the sights around you and slowly turned your heads toward each other with wide eyes before bursting into laughter.

It looked like Cupid's elementary-school aged children had thrown up in the halls of Hawkins High. Red and pink hearts made from construction paper were everywhere. And chains! Paper chains! How old did they think you were?

"Hi guys! Do you have your tickets for the dance already?" someone far too perky for this early hour chirps at you from behind a table a few feet away.

"Nope, we have other things to do that night," you inform the girl you've never noticed before, probably an over-achiever on the decorating committee, not wanting to be completely rude.

"You have other things to do the night of the Valentine's Day dance?" she asks indignantly. And to think, you'd tried to be polite.

"Those virgins aren't gonna sacrifice themselves," Eddie says in a low voice, before you can think of a sarcastic response. She gulps. You bite back a laugh and tug him along, to anywhere but there.

You'd decided not to do anything special on the corporate-approved day of romantic acknowledgement. Your plans would wait until Friday: An Anti-Valentine's Day Date. Hopefully the first of many.

The next few days were relatively uneventful. Well, as uneventful as life can be with Eddie Munson as your partner in crime.

On Thursday, the shitty construction paper littering the halls wasn't the only thing that was annoyingly festive. You'd never seen so much pink and red in your life. They must've cleaned out the mall two towns over. Not a fuzzy sweater or a heart-patterned sweatshirt could have survived this shopping spree. You're surprised you haven't seen something about it on the news. Breaking: High Schoolers Clear Out Entire Red-Hued Inventory. Dye Industry May Never Recover. Pastels Definitely In for Easter, Possibly 4th of July.

"God help us," you mutter as you grab Eddie's hand. Two figures clad in black weave their way through a sea of red and pink toward homeroom. He walks you to your classroom and gives you a peck on the forehead. "Homeroom, homeroom! Parting is such sweet sorrow," he quotes wrongly. You roll your eyes with a smile and give him a playful push toward his own classroom, located four doors down.

The student council member with the honor of delivering the morning announcements is bursting with joy as she informs everyone that the cheer squad broke the school's previous fundraising record with the chocolate roses they sold for Valentine's Day. Greeeat, you think. Those will be delivered during this period.

You hate waxy, overpriced candy. You hate the basketball team. You hate the cheerleaders. But more than anything, you hate the thought of your friends feeling excluded. You'd fallen in behind a pair of airheads discussing the number of roses they'd sold in the hall one day last week. What's-her-name wasn't lying when she gave Hellfire her sales pitch. Everyone was doing it.

So you'd found the only cheerleader brave enough to talk to the freaks and shelled out a few bucks to send each member of Hellfire a chocolate rose. You were weak. You were soft. You were hard candy coating with a squishy marshmallow inside. You were hopeless.

As if on cue, a pretty brunette with poofy hair came in with a pail full of chocolate roses. It was a small lump of red tinfoil, stuck on a green plastic stem with a fake leaf or two on it, and a little white card attached with a ribbon. That's all. It was just as underwhelming as you'd imagined.

Instead of watching her make her deliveries, you decided to spend the rest of homeroom writing a dirty, overly dramatic love letter to the Dungeon Master of your dreams. Depending on how filthy it turned out, you might even sign it "Love, Principal Higgins" and stick it in his locker before lunch.

You were adding extra emphasis to the words "engorged member" with a red pen when a rose was dropped onto your notebook. You looked up in confusion, but she had already moved on to the next desk. Putting down your pen, you reach for the card bearing your name, attached to the thin plastic stem with a cheap red ribbon.

"Hail Satan."

The Hellfire Club was practically vibrating at lunch. Nobody wanted to admit that they'd received one of those stupid chocolate roses from an anonymous admirer, or that it had made them all so unreasonably happy. But you knew. You looked over at Eddie. He knew. Despite your attitudes and outward appearances, you were both just mush on the inside. You shared a knowing smile and intertwined your fingers under the table, silently agreeing to never speak of what you'd both done.

Supporting the basketball team. Honestly.

After school on Friday, the day after Valentine's Day, you and Eddie had gone on a Hawkins-wide store tour and purchased several bags full of discounted candy. Your reward for surviving another V-Day.

You'd also stopped by Family Video to grab a few things to watch during your Anti-Valentine's Day Date Night.

"If you're looking for anything romantic, we're out," the exasperated clerk informed you the second you stepped in the door. Eddie shook his head, laughed, and led you to the horror section. You left with four $1 rentals: Old creature features. Bad ones. The bottom of the barrel. The shittier the effects, the better. You couldn't wait.

That night's meeting of The Hellfire Club went off without a hitch. Progress was made, nobody died, everyone was in high spirits and pumped full of candy. Was everyone's good mood due a great session, to surviving the least awful Valentine's Day in recent memory, or the massive amounts of sugar? Who's to say.

After everyone cleared out and you helped Eddie clean up, he took you home. You'd spared no gory detail when you told your mom everything you had planned for your Anti-Valentine's Day Date, and she'd agreed to let you stay with him for the night. After all, who'd want to get frisky after playing a nerdy game with a bunch of sweaty virgins, filling up on cheap candy and cardboard-like frozen pizza, then finishing the night by watching disgusting monster movies in their rattiest sweats?

You and Eddie Munson, that's who.

The next morning, you woke up before he did, and decided to make him breakfast. Your Anti-Valentine's Day Date was over, so you could do cute couple-y stuff now. You knew Wayne would be home soon, so you made yourself look moderately respectable before heading into the kitchen to forage for food.

Eddie stumbled in while you were making pancakes, wearing nothing but his favorite black sweatpants and a sleepy smile. He saunters up behind you, places his hands on your hips, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"What, no heart shapes? Just plain pancakes? Some girlfriend you are." You swat at him with the spatula and he laughs, kissing the top of your head and making his way to the coffee maker.

He wants a special pancake? You'll give him a special pancake. Lifting a plain circle out of the pan and dropping it onto the stack of boring pancakes, you get a little more creative with your next pour.

"Will you clear off the table so we don't make a mess of this?" He grumbles and does as you ask, sitting down at the cluttered table to start separating the junk mail from the bills that had been accumulating. You don't care about eating at the table, you just don't want him to see his special pancake yet.

You flip it. It's perfect. When it's done, you plop it onto a plate and grab the syrup bottle, heading toward the halfway-cleared table. You place it in front of him with a wicked grin.

"Is that…"

"Yup."

He tilts his head from his special breakfast to you, an incredulous look on his face.

"That's a dick."

"Yup."

At that very moment, you hear a car door slam. Wayne's home. Shit. You and Eddie are frozen in place; Eddie still shocked by his dick-cake, you panicking about Wayne seeing it.

The door opens. Eddie grins. You gulp.

"Hey Wayne, look at the special Valentine's Day breakfast that--" Eddie's mouth is suddenly filled with a dick-shaped pancake, leaving him unable to finish his sentence.

"Good morning, Wayne. Would you like a pancake?" you ask sweetly, wiping the crumbs from your hand onto your pants.

"Sure, darlin'."

You return to the stove, your face as red as one of those stupid construction paper hearts that were probably still littering the halls of Hawkins High. Thankfully, Wayne thinks nothing of Eddie shaking with laughter at the table, his cheeks stuffed full like a chipmunk's.

Maybe this Valentine's Day stuff wasn't so terrible after all.

Did you read the prequel that reveals why Eddie hates Valentine's Day? Click Here!

[jq37]

Descendants: The Rise of Red is kind of a bizarre movie to talk about critically because, imo, it almost doesn't make sense to talk about it in the usual terms of good vs bad or enjoyable vs not enjoyable when the way more obvious tension is finished vs unfinished.

Because, more than any other movie I've ever seen, it does *not* read as a full movie. And I don't mean in a "this movie has a cliffhanger" kind of way. The Empire Strikes Back and Across the Spiderverse fit that description. They end on big dramatic cliffhangers that point to a resolution in the third installment.

But Rise of Red just sets all this stuff up and then...ends without concluding anything. It doesn't feel like the first movie in a trilogy (or duology). It feels like the first act of a two-act musical. It very specifically reminds me of the end of the first act of Into the Woods where all the main characters sing the song Ever After about how they all fixed their problems with magic and nothing bad will ever happen to them again and then the narrator ominously says "To be continued" before the curtain drops. But in Into the Woods you know there's a second act and this movie wasn't sold as the first act of a bigger story. Like sure, it has the, "You didn't think this was the end" tag at the end like all the other movies, but those movies were complete, self-contained stories even though they had sequels. This was NOT a full story. It's half of one story.

Like, if we're supposed to take this as a full story, there are so many bizarre choices:

Why did they make sure to mention that Cinderella and Charming fell in love at the ball at the top if it wasn't meant to set up Back to the Future style, "Oh no, I accidentally got my mom banned from the ball so she's not gonna fall in love with Dad and I won't be born" shenanigans?

Why did Maddox very pointedly have that bit about "you could lose your mom completely" if that was never going to come into play? Red never did anything to endanger Bridget or endanger her own birth so it doesn't make sense as a warning in that way.

Why was there all this focus on this Carrie on prom night moment for Bridget if we LITERALLY NEVER SAW CASTLECOMING? Why dance around this moment and talk about it all cloak and dagger with no specificity if they weren't building up to some big reveal that it wasn't as straightforward as it seemed? And like, they leaned in HARD with making Bridget the nicest, sweetest, cotton candy princess as a teen so I need WAY more than, "She got pranked by known bullies she's been enduring with a smile very handily up to this point" to buy that she went from that to "murderous dictator". And even if she did become murderous, I find it insanely hard to believe that she'd include her best and only friend on the list of people she wants to suffer unless there was a betrayal. I find it INSANE that there wasn't a falling out scene at any point in this movie with how thickly they were laying on the admiration and camaraderie.

(Note: And adult Cinderella def has guilty vibes re: the Queen at orientation. Which I know I'm not imagining because it's literally spelled out in the Jr Novelization!)

Before the time travel element of the movie started, I thought they were going for something like they go to the past and realize that Bridget was bullied not by the VKs but by the spoiled royals, and Ella ends up joining in the bullying once she gets with Charming, betraying Bridget and justifying her whole "Love Ain't It" philosophy. Or Ella ditching her at the last minute to be with Charming meaning she has to deal with the monster prank alone and it was the being alone rather than the prank itself that hurt her (though that is NOT a good enough reason to go all off with their heads on your subjects). The fact that, as far as we know right now, it literally was just a relatively mild and reversible prank that caused all of this is just, such flat storytelling, you know?

But! All of this makes way more sense if this is meant to be the first act of a single contained story. And I don't wanna be all "Pepe Silvia, secret good 4th episode of Sherlock" about this but I did see this picture:

Which seems to indicate that this was written as a Part One. Which, if so, idk why they wouldn't advertise it that way but whatever. The point is, if that's the case then it means that we're potentially in bad pacing territory rather than straight up bad storytelling territory. Because this isn't a bad place to be halfway through your story:

The heroes, warned that time travel is dangerous, have gone back in time to change the heart of a brutal tyrant before she can stage a coup. They seemingly succeed in their mission and when they come home, everything is great! But then, the side effects of time travel start to catch up with them. Chloe realizes that, in breaking the vase, she prevented her mother from going to the ball and falling in love with her dad (who was conspicuously absent from the final scene btw) which means she's starting to be forgotten and erased from the timeline. And Red realizes that though this new version of her mom is as sweet and kind as the teen she once met, she's a complete stranger to her (fulfilling the Hatter's warning that she could lose her mom completely). So they have to go back in time once more to make sure the Ella and Charming fall in love again, perhaps at the cost of whatever bad thing that happened to Bridget happening again and bringing back the original version of her future self. But, now with more context of how her mom became that way, Red can now talk to her mother and persuade her to give people another chance.

Boom, that gives us time to go back and hit everything we haven't yet hit. We can pay off the time travel tropes that were set up but not explored. We can go to Castlecoming which feels so obviously set up to be the centerpiece of this story (like, come on, Back to the Future literally does the school dance thing. This is Time Travel Storytelling 101). We can actually get info about what the prank was and why it affected Bridget so completely.

(Note: This is a side thing but it really strikes me as so crazy that Bridget would so SUCH a big 180 here. Like, I know the Queen of Hearts is a silly, goofy, campy villain, but she straight up murders people and there's no way to get around that if we're taking her out of the surreal story she comes from and putting her in a (comparatively) grounded story. If I wasn't doing a betrayal plot, I would make the twist that the spell that turned Bridget into a "monster" didn't just have a physical effect, it had a mental effect and it magically twisted her personality to be the way it is now. So they broke the physical half of the curse, but neglected the other half and it's been festering the whole time, turning her as evil as she was sweet. Because like, a simple physical transformation isn't that big of a deal to have such heavy security--Bridget made cupcakes with a transformative effect and that was totally fine. I'm not saying that that's what's gonna be the case. I just think it would be an explanation that makes sense for why she changed so crazy much that makes more sense than a simple prank or even a betrayal. Her mom wasn't even evil! How did she go from zero to murder without even an evil mom to push her onto the path? But I'm super digressing right now.)

(Note #2: OK, one last thing. The trap on the book presumably would have hit the VK's and trapped them in Merlin's office regardless of what Chloe and Red did, right? That's like, net zero influence on the timeline. I genuinely can't tell if that's a straight up plot hole or set up to be like, "Oh no. Actually when she said that she was turned into a monster in front of everyone it was meant in a less literal way." Like she was just made to look bad and that was the real thing that pushed her over the edge. Like idk. It really feels like the only thing they really did that would change the timeline was get Ella banned from the dance and presumably out of the way where she couldn't hurt Bridget. OK NOW I'm done.)

Anyway, my point is that this is not how I would have structured my movie and I think this was a super weird way to go into the second era of Descendants movies, but they can still tell a complete story if that's their plan. I'm genuinely really curious to see if this pans out to be a fairly competently told story that just happens to be split over two movies or a complete fumbling of the narrative bag because it could really be either at this point and it's fascinating to me.

[expanding-hyrule]

Hey there! Expanding Hyrule needs your help!

This is a budding community and I am only one person running it at the moment and I’ve only got so much energy in a day. Even less right now. No joke, I opened the EH Discord and then immediately got knocked out by con flu for two weeks, still pending recovery.

Which is where you come in! The Internet is massive and it’s impossible for me to get the whole thing archived for this niche all by myself. So if you know works in any medium or creators in any medium who would fit into the “Original Legends” niche, send them my way! The list currently compiled only got set up because of one post that happened to get some traction. Imagine what we can do with a community working together on it! There are way more creators in the space than I currently have on the list and I need your help to find them! This niche has never been organized before and it’s only going to get organized with a team effort! So let’s get to it, adventurers!

What is “Original Legends” as a LoZ niche?

The "Original Legends" tag is a temporary tag for stories about Hyrules thus unseen. So based on the franchise as a whole and not any particular game. The community is not yet big enough to run a vote on a final pick for a tag, which is where you all come in! We're currently gathering ideas on the Discord and off this blog, so if you have suggestions, let us know! The poll will run off this blog once we have a bigger following.

Does it include sequels or Links Meet?

So this is where I need to be a little pedantic. Because technically, yes, both could be Original Legends. But. Because right now this community needs to build a strong central identity for what the core of "Original Legends" means, there may be more scrutiny for whether they get added to the archives.

The thing about direct sequel and Links Meet works is that they have tags they can rely on, chiefly the game they're a sequel to or the Links Meet tags, those are both recognized tags across fandom. There is no tag currently for the full "Original Legends" niche, so for the time being it needs to become prominent enough in the fandom to stand on its own first and then we can add wider definitions. So not a full no, you're welcome to still use the tag if you think your work applies, but for the official archive lists here, it's a not yet while we establish what this tag is first.

Where do I send works I find?

You can send them as reblogs, asks, submissions, DMs, or just plain old @'s to this blog. Some of the lists do have to have manual additions (the blog archive, the Discord list, the Wattpad reading list), so it is better if you make sure I'm aware it's being added so I can update all lists accordingly.

For art, because we're trying to keep the archive list a little more manageable, be sure to see socials and tags you use for your project. I will try to include some pictures, but you will make my life a whole lot easier if you can send me the ones you want in the gallery specifically. Ones that scan scale down nicely are better so we can again keep that list more manageable to scroll through.

What if I’m a creator in this space?

Please reach out! I'm trying to follow everyone here on Tumblr to make sure I get updates, my main is @amelias-hart and my LoZ alt is @amelias-zelda-calamity-quintet. You can ping any three of those blogs when you have updates, sending them in asks, submissions, or DMs as I'm the only moderator on this blog at present and those are open. If that changes for this blog, then the other blogs listed will still have DMs.

We also have a Discord open if you'd like to connect with other creators in the space and you can share when you post there. I set up events for people who upload on a schedule as well for anyone who like reminders that way for when fics in our archive are updating.

Are there other ways I can help?

Share this blog! On and off of Tumblr. In order for us to organize a tag like this within the whole of such a massive community, we need eyes on it and I simply do not have the reach or budget to make that happen without help.

Long term, if you have Discord experience, I will need help running that eventually, as well as the blog. If I put too much of this work on myself, then I won't have time to write either! And I'd rather not get stuck in that again. Keep an eye on the blog for news on that, I've got not idea where or how that process will start.

But the biggest, check out the works in our archives! It's very hard to coordinate and share a work that falls into a niche like this without the use of the main community tags, so a lot of these creators have been struggling to find their audience for years. Community support changes that, which begins and ends with each of you. Be the kind of fan you would want for yourself. We're all just nerds on the Internet, so we gotta look out for each other, yeah?

What if I was added to this space and I’d like to be removed?

If for whatever reason you would like your work removed from the list, contact this blog or any of my alts if there's an issue getting in touch and I'll remove it. I will ask for some verification that a work is yours so people can't take other people's works off the list, but if you don't want to be in the archive, I'm not going to force anyone stay in it.

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

Sure can! Hi, I’m Amelia (she/they, 28), you might know me better as amelias-hart or, if you’ve been around my works a second, echosound. I started writing Original Legends fic back in 2012 with a work called Goddess of Secrecy, which I just managed to wrap up this summer (I may have gotten stuck in the Temple of Time in 2017). GoS got its start on Wattpad and I’m now expanding my horizons on AO3, so I’ve got a lot of learning left to do! Thank you for your patience while I am!

[imagitory]

Review: Inside Out 2 (SPOILERS)

Hey all! So earlier today my mum and I went to go see the sequel to one of my absolute favorite Pixar films, Inside Out! For a spoiler-free opinion, I'll just say that we both enjoyed it -- my mum enjoyed it more than I did, perhaps partially because she didn't remember the original as well as I did going in, but even if I didn't personally like this sequel as much as the first one, it's still a worthy continuation with very good humor and some great heart.

That being said, I think it's high time for some more spoilerific analysis. So if you're as anxious to get started as I am, read on!

The Good!

+Honestly, this film went to places that an Inside Out sequel was almost meant to go, just based on the ending of the last film. That puberty joke coming back and messing things up for Riley? Yeah, that checks out. Riley struggling with her emotions through her teen years? Sure! Makes for great drama! The emotions have to come to grips with the fact that change is inevitable? A worthwhile and appropriate lesson. This film's trajectory was a good pay-off for the set-up from the last film, so it never felt like this film's story was jarring or came out of left-field. It even makes sense for Riley to be so afraid of not having any friends and being alone in high school, considering that just two years prior (as seen in the first movie), she had to deal with such a traumatic move that resulted in her entire life in Minnesota being uprooted.

+The conflict between Riley's old and new emotions really does embody a lot of insecurities that teenagers go through! The thought of discarding our more immature, childish selves in favor of looking and acting more "adult" -- the disillusionment and diminishing of self-esteem -- the embarrassment, guilt and shame attached to your mistakes -- the intense desire to be accepted and praised -- the envy and longing to be more like "cool" older students -- the crippling self-doubt and anxiety -- the distant, sarcastic, sometimes even rude or angry shell you might form around yourself to try to hide your insecurities...I truly do think a lot of people will identify with Riley's struggles. My mum actually identified with Riley more than I did in this film, and this is when the first Inside Out became one of my top favorites in large part because how much I'd identified with Riley's struggle with depression! (I think this might be because my mum was both very sporty and a huge people-pleaser while growing up, while I -- oddly enough -- was kind of immune to peer pressure and was much more interested in being accepted for who I was, rather than in actively changing myself to try to "earn" acceptance from others.) I did, however, really feel Riley's perfectionistic tendencies, as well as her anxiety. Which leads us nicely into...

+The anxiety attack sequence. That scene, quite honestly, was a highlight of the entire film. It was a perfect concept that was both written and animated so evocatively, and Joy managing to break through enough to Anxiety to slow the panicked internal frenzy that made it so that Riley's emotions (and therefore Riley herself) couldn't see a thing was so well done.

+On that note, the concept of the threads of Riley's beliefs was great from beginning to end. I love that at the start of the film, Riley has a great sense of self-worth and a strong faith in the thought that she's a good person: something that, quite honestly, we all think until we're ideally forced to confront a more nuanced view of ourselves and the world around us. I like that when Anxiety started taking over (and planted only her memories in that underwater garden space), there's a shift in Riley that makes it so that she can only be happy if A, B, and C -- this idea that happiness is somehow both transactional and something one can only find in the outside world. It feels true to the emotion of Anxiety, and -- honestly -- to many real-life people. Self-love is hard to cultivate when one sees their flaws and shortcomings clearly, and finding happiness in one's own company as oneself can be even harder. The threads were well set-up by us seeing Joy and Sadness reaffirming their friendship from the last film by bringing their joint memory down to the garden, and the evolution of the garden and in Riley coming to grips with both the good and bad aspects of herself was fantastic. The part where all of the emotions embrace Riley's new sense of self, regardless of her flaws and shortcomings, was actually the most resonant moment of the film for me personally. I didn't cry, but it did make my own Joy and Sadness metaphorically hug each other.

+I'm really glad that Anger, Disgust, and Fear got to go on the psychological journey with Joy this time. I have some critiques on how it was done, and we'll get to that, but I am still glad that they got some more focus and time to shine, after Joy and Sadness got so much time to bond in the last movie. Fear pulling out that parachute was both funny and completely in-character, and I liked Anger "sticking it to the man" by swiping that pipe to shoot himself and the others up into the air and onto the top of the walls. It also was so very, very fitting for Joy and the others to trust Sadness to go back to Headquarters -- she would be the best equipped to help since she knows the manuals best, and she's also the emotion who'd be best able to get Riley help from outside should she need it, as proved from the last film. It really showcases how much stronger the core emotions' bond has become in the almost two years since the events from the first movie, especially the one between Joy and Sadness.

+There was some really, really good humor in this movie. The highlights for me were largely in the Deep Dark Secrets Vault -- I died laughing at Lance Slashblade multiple times. (Am I the only one who thought that that hooded Secret was totes Riley's gender identity? Because I'm sorry, I still love the headcanon that Riley is non-binary. For the record, yes, after further research into a post-credits scene I didn't stick around for, I found out I was wrong, but SHHH, I'm ignoring it because it's stupid.) The scene where Joy blew up at Anger, Fear, and Disgust was also both really funny and relatable for me -- I've been in that exact position before, and you're right, Joy: it is exhausting!!

The Ehhh...

+I know I'll probably be in the minority on this, but none of the new emotions grabbed me the way the originals did. They all had funny moments, sure, but Anxiety pissed me off way more than earned sympathy from me, at least until the end. I think it was the whole "we love Riley, really! All we want to do is change her into a completely different person" thing. It's really not that I think the new emotions don't care about Riley -- it's clear they do, and obviously they all learned their lesson -- but I guess I personally just don't ascribe to the idea that love is somehow conditional. If you love someone, you should love them as they are: there shouldn't be this expectation that the person you love (even platonically, as in this case) should change themselves for your sake. I know Anxiety in some ways could parallel Joy in the first movie, but in the first film, Joy sees the depth of her mistake through her adventures with Sadness and the growth she undergoes through it. She then more than proves how much she's willing to make things right in how hard she fights to get Sadness back to Riley's Headquarters. Anxiety -- just due to the characterization established for her -- doesn't really get the chance to redeem herself through passionate, proactive action in that same way. Instead she falls apart, Joy has to come to her rescue, and then all of the emotions come together to symbolically embrace Riley and calm her down. As for the others, as I said, they all had funny moments, but I didn't really latch onto any of them the way I did for Joy, Sadness, and Disgust in the first movie. Again, I want to emphasize that I don't think any of these new emotions are bad, by a long shot -- I just personally didn't like or resonate with them as much as the original five.

+The pacing in this film wasn't always that great. The journey Joy took with Fear, Disgust, and Anger seemed a lot less focused than Joy's with Sadness, largely because Joy didn't really get as much chance to bond with all three of the others the way she did with Sadness. In the original film, all of the obstacles and side adventures Sadness, Joy, and Bing Bong had to undergo on their way back to Headquarters had emotional relevance. They weren't just there for the sake of jokes: they also strengthened the bond between the characters and laid the groundwork for plot points later. Take the trip through Imagination Land in the first film, for example -- sure, the Riley's Imaginary Boyfriend machine was funny, but it was also reused later where Joy made a whole bunch of copies and then used them to both reach Sadness and launch herself and Sadness at Headquarters. But the trip to Imagination Land here was really more a tangent accenting Anxiety's unraveling and a meta reference to the state of modern animation studios, rather than something that lay the groundwork for a more emotional, clever payoff later-on. (It also seemed like it wasted time Joy and the others really needed to get back to Headquarters, as well as revealed to Anxiety that they'd escaped when it would've been more prudent for them to keep their heads down.) The "Sarchasm" was absolutely hilarious as a concept -- I laughed so bloody hard when it cropped up...but imagine how much better it would've been if Disgust had gotten the chance to show how to defeat it by simply not responding verbally to it? Perhaps Disgust's interest in make-up could've given her the ability to show off the power of a silent, condescending "Eyebrow Arch" in defanging sarcasm, which could've materialized as a bridge over the chasm or something. That could've put more ammunition behind the idea that Anxiety is wrong that Riley's old emotions are no longer necessary, rather than just an obstacle being thrown into the characters' way on a whim of the filmmakers to pad the run-time.

+This does actually lead to that one big critique I have about the focus on Anger, Fear, and Disgust -- where was my favorite green girl's chance to shine during this journey through the mind, huh?! Anger figuratively went "f*** it" and got the group up to the top of the wall. Fear saved himself and the others from the fall with his parachute. Joy's relentless optimism carried them all down their path. Where was Disgust using her individuality and named trait to help Riley? Disgust in particular is supposed to be there to "keep Riley from getting poisoned physically or socially" -- she has all the motive in the WORLD to be irritated at Anxiety and the other new emotions, considering she's responsible for Riley ditching her two best friends and poisoning her entire moral character. I do really wish Anger had been more righteously angry about this too, but at least he got some chance to take charge and get the spotlight by himself -- Disgust, in comparison to the other two emotions accompanying Joy, just got less focus.

+I guess this leads into really my only true hang-up with the film -- not that it was bad, but just that it didn't surprise me that much. Just like in the last film, Joy is trying to push away those things that aren't so pleasant supposedly for Riley's benefit. Just like in the last film, Joy has to come to grips with an emotion changing Riley in a way she doesn't like. Just like in the last one, Joy breaks down and exposes the vulnerable emotions she's been trying to hide -- in fact, this time, she does it twice, considering she loses it with Anger, Fear, and Disgust (in a very funny scene, but still) mid-way through and then has that more hopeless bit in the third act. Imagine how much stronger this film could've been if after Joy's first breakdown, she really does give up, or even if it had played into that terrible idea Joy has that "when you grow up, you feel less joy" and that (as a result) Joy is getting weaker or even is starting to disappear...and so, in response, Anger has to take charge of the mission, because he -- as the emotion who cares deeply about "what's fair" -- is furious about how Anxiety treated them and is trying to change Riley. Then we follow Anger as the emotion with a character arc. He's got that fire needed to defend who Riley is and prove that she is that good person she believed she was, but because he's Anger, he has difficulty moderating himself or staying focused. It's Disgust that has to help rein him in and show the power of silence in defeating the Sarchasm. It's Fear who has to save them from the Brainstorm. In this scenario, it'd be Anger rashly confronting Anxiety in that pillow fort in Imagination Land...and it would've been Anger who would've suffered burn-out, after all of his determined rage seemingly leads them out into the middle of nowhere with no way back to Headquarters. He would've cried tears of frustration and despair, feeling like a failure just as Riley did at the beginning of the film, and this would've been where Joy came to the realization that shoving down those negative memories doesn't diminish their impact. Then they would've ridden that avalanche back, and Anger -- seeing the state Anxiety was in -- would've realized that rage was not the way to help and insisted Joy help her, while he and the others try to fix Riley's Sense of Self. Helping Anxiety would've then also helped Joy too, and she would've rematerialized in full, just as bright as before: because Joy doesn't have to just be emblematic of childhood, but also in seeing the light after losing one's way. Sure, this trajectory would've in its own way mirrored aspects from the first film -- but at least we wouldn't have had Joy having to break down three times in two movies, and perhaps we could've given Joy and Anger's friendship the chance to shine the way Joy and Sadness's has.

+As the tiniest of nitpicks as well, I didn't think the score was that memorable, aside from the reuse of the original Bundle of Joy theme written for the first film.

I know my second more negative section has a lot of stuff written in it, but please, don't take this to mean I disliked the film! Truly, overall, I think it's quite good. I just didn't identify with Riley's struggles as much in this film as its predecessor, and I didn't think the script was quite as tightly written with set-ups and pay-offs either. Inside Out 2 is still a very enjoyable film, and I think just about any fan of Inside Out will have a fun time like my mum and I did! Even despite my minor critiques, my memory of this film is largely yellow.

Overall Grade: B+

[lehdenlaulu]

Okay, 40h in, some stray thoughts:

I keep going back and forth between 'oh it's not really that bad after all' and 'ugh why' basically. Every time there's actually a nice bit of writing etc. the frustration at some other aspect soon takes over.

I'm particularly not fond of the random faceless mook hordes that keep respawning in certain locations (seriously, DA2 was bad enough). Or the dumb pointless boss battles you have to do in order to unlock new areas in the Fade where your reward is... another boss battle. And more faceless mooks. And maybe some gear. And maybe more of Solas's tedious sob story if you're lucky. The ghost of the live co-op thing really keeps quite literally haunting the narrative.

Oh, and there's even a fucking gladiator arena. I'm guessing that was originally for PvP. And now it's just there just in case you didn't already get your fill of combat elsewhere. And wanted to ogle Isabela who now inexplicably wears only a bikini and thigh-high boots. Because apparently that's Rivaini cultural outfit now or something? Some pseudo-Aztec thing? Sure. Whatever.

Honestly, just imagine if they'd put as much time and effort into making sure the story is narratively sound and makes any kind of sense as a sequel to its predecessors as they did into crafting the combat system and the needlessly byzantine combat skill tree. *sigh*

I do really like the new exploration mechanics though. I like that I can strafe on narrow ledges and vault over fences and through windows and such. Not super fond that I can magically just use my absent companions' exploration abilities because of my mystical magical all-powerful MacGuffin, though. Guess some people really don't feel like changing their party composition ever. 🙄

And that's another thing. This game coddles the player way too much to the point of treating us like particularly dense toddlers. Not only are there tons of visual options that basically guide you by the hand and point out everything relevant (all of which I obviously immediately turned off) but the dialogue also will very unsubtly tell you what to do at every turn. Like... Taash, babe, we're both Lords of Fortune, I don't think I need to be told to check out if there's something behind the waterfall. And if someone is so new to RPGs to not know something that basic, they need to discover it for themselves, not have it spelled out to them. Honestly, I thought this game's age limit was 18, not 12.

Speaking of Taash and all things unsubtle... I feel like there was a way to introduce their struggle with gender identity in a less... anvilicious way. And maybe come up with some in-universe lore and terminology instead of just defaulting to modern real-world vocabulary. The codex entry in particular frankly felt like breaking the fourth wall and talking directly to the player. And I say this as someone whose own gender identity is pretty nebulous.

Frankly, I'm surprised someone hasn't already literally told Bellara she has ADHD. Yet. I'm guessing she and Taash are relatable to some players, but to me they feel... vaguely insulting, honestly, because it really is about as subtle as a brick in the face. I'm also getting the vibe they're both someone's self insert to some degree at least. Which isn't new for DA, but... yeah.

What else... Oh. Yeah. The less said about the main plot the better. Varric, this really is your worst book yet.

Speaking of Varric, it's pretty funny how he keeps telling Rook to please get some sleep. Sure, mate, would love to but a) all I get for a bed is apparently a bare divan in a room with a massive glowing aquarium b) every time I try to sleep some smarmy elf keeps mansplaining at me in my dreams. Which, you know, is something I shouldn't have in the first place as a dwarf. Maybe I should just start chugging coffee with Lucanis. (But honestly, only Taash and Davrin get to have actual beds, everyone else has to make do with cots, bedrolls, divans, and... an embalming slate??)

Oh, and I'll be really surprised if Varric survives this story. I mean, he's barely there in the first place and keeps talking like some ailing relative who secretly has consumption in a Victorian novel. I mean, his writer was laid off after all.

The pacing and structure of this game is extremely weird. The beginning was particularly rough, then it got better, but it's still a bit all over the place.

Oh, right. I'm fairly sure we were promised cool bard songs at some point. I haven't heard a single one yet. Unless that one street performer in Treviso strumming Enchanters counts, which I don't believe does. It was nice to hear it, though, as much as it was a bit contextually odd to choose that song in particular. Ah well, I guess Empress of Fire would have been even odder.

This is also the most forgettable Hans Zimmer soundtrack I have heard in my life. I can't think of a single theme or leitmotif off the top of my head, but the Inquisition theme on the other hand was instantly recognizable. I might say he's just new to writing video game soundtracks, but... dude's famous for his highly catchy, recognizable and evocative themes. Weird.

But hey! As much as I don't like the cartoony character models, the game is actually otherwise really pretty and has some really lovely visual designs in environments and architecture etc. It's also very stable and smooth for a brand-new game, I've only had one crash and two obvious bugs so far. That's always a big win for a studio. Too bad its actual problems are too baked in to be fixable with some patches.

Anyway, that's it for now. Lots of negativity, I know, but I actually do like playing this game for the most part. I just have to... not think of it as a Dragon Age, basically. Because for all the bells and whistles, or maybe because of them, it really doesn't feel like one. There are glimpses here and there of a great DA game it could have been, but unfortunately, the final result is a bit of a Frankenstein's monster of different and largely incompatible concepts hastily sewn together.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

The Pixar shift saga continued:

All over twitter and even BlueSky, I see it, and it's quite something. Hell, people I know who barely ever talk about animation, or film or pop culture for that matter, are talking about it... Animators, artists, filmmakers, critics... All calling it out.

Namely, Pixar CCO Pete Docter's words on having Pixar - at the behest of Disney executives - move away from telling "autobiographical" stories, making films that are personal to their respective filmmakers... Hollow, corporate words that I bet he was "supposed" to say.

The backlash is almost feverish. To the point where some are reading it as Pixar catering to white people only, given that two of those "autobiographical" films are... Let's see... TURNING RED, directed by Chinese-Canadian Domee Shi, and ELEMENTAL, directed by Korean-American Peter Sohn. SOUL as well, Docter's latest directorial endeavor, which was co-directed/written by Kemp Powers. Whether the intent is "no more autobiographical/personal stories" or "no more stories told from different cultural backgrounds", the pull quote is still NOT a good look. Hell, I'd say this looks worse than the time John Lasseter fired Brenda Chapman off of BRAVE.

And I wonder if this quote, otherwise tucked away on some cynical Bloomberg article whose writer feels that sequels will "restore Pixar's magic", getting all this scrutiny online possibly leads to... Pipe dream... A clarification at the very least? Some kind of backtracking?

Look I'm no dummy, corporations are gonna corporation. I'm pretty sure if Disney overlords are mandating it, it's gonna happen either way. Bob Iger's whole deal, after taking back the reigns from Bob Chapek (who he appointed in the first place), is this need to make the films "better". And that means interfering with the filmmakers instead of considering every other variable: High budgets, competition, a much different marketplace, how COVID wrecked everything and accelerating long-gestating problems in the industry, etc.

But the statements didn't go unnoticed, and there's some hot water brewing. Maybe an animation news site, particularly one that practically THRIVES off of this kind of drama, amplifies it. And maybe, just maybe... A little controversy erupts over it? Part of me feels that this won't go unnoticed, it already hasn't in some circles. Twitter and BlueSky and such are not real life, but I think the eruption over this quote speaks volumes. Pixar is often associated with original storytelling that's often from the filmmakers' passions and hearts, and to hear Docter essentially say "We're not going to do that anymore" has been a shock to many, myself included.

And again, if you've read my previous rants on this, I don't blame Docter. I think he's merely just saying what Iger's cronies want him to say. He said something similar a year ago after ELEMENTAL was released:

"I always felt that ELEMENTAL would speak to a lot of people, and I'm so happy it has... But we have also taken another look at the projects we're working on now. What are the kinds of films we want to be making? I really think I want to double down on what allowed us to speak to audiences to begin with."

This quote, from October of last year, went relatively unnoticed. This seems to put it into perspective better, even if it's a little more vague. This sounds more "let's play up certain commercial elements" and not "squash out the personal stuff".

I don't mind a compromise where an artistic vision shares the 90 minutes with what the bean counters call "general appeal" or whatever. Often times, that's just how the sausage is even made in animation-land, even if it makes for results we might not always like. That's literally the entirety of Disney Animation's output from the mid-'90s up until the mid-'00s. Films like HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME had things like the silly gargoyles and fart jokes, yet they were still allowed to have some really great stuff in them and really cool filmmaking that young animation fans marvel at today. It's even a thing in the praised '10s movies, too. And a lot of the non-Disneys, too. NIMONA, for example. Take away the punk edge and LGBTQIA+ perspective, and it's quite similar to a lot of Western animated movies, particularly the "mild-mannered character gets saddled with the funny and unpredictable sidekick" thing with Ballister and Nimona, and that end-of-2nd-act breakup.

Outside of the SPIDER-VERSE movies and maybe PUSS IN BOOTS 2, it's typically imperfect in the American feature animation circuit. There's almost always behind the scenes battles and compromising, and ultimately, I'm happy if we still get a film that looks like something the filmmakers had a great time making and were able to work around certain notes/mandates/etc.

This is merely speculation on my part, but what matters is that the quote that's under fire is recent. Like, days ago recent. And I wonder what'll happen from here... Things go as Iger wants them to go? Or some kind of attempt at correction?

[nerdyvocals]

Hello again! To be honest, @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I weren't originally sure if we were going to watch Rise of Red or not, but I saw some. Interesting things on tiktok, and we decided this would be a fun excuse to get tipsy on a Saturday night (we even made themed cocktails!), and that we would have a lot of unhinged things to say. Previously, we've also watched and kept a running commentary of the first three films and the Royal Wedding short film.

That said, I know opinions on this film have been very divided, and if you're looking for high praise, you will not find it here. The movie was cute, and we had fun, but we did not have a lot of compliments, and we're still messaging each other with criticisms a week later. If you're looking for two dumbasses who give tipsy critiques (please drink responsibly) about children's movies, please, proceed under the cut!

First, an honorable mention from a few days before the watch party: Bee (after we mentioned that we both, despite not originally planning on watching Rise of Red, had avoided spoilers just in case we changed our minds): Why do I care about spoilers for an unasked-for fourth movie in a franchise I only just became interested in?

Me (reading the description): Okay, so it looks like it's Back to the Future but Disney Bee: Great! Me: Was this needed? I feel like the trilogy wrapped things up nicely

Uma: This is Auradon, the kingdom where all your favorite fairytales are true. It was formed 30 years ago when- Me: PAUSE, okay so of the few things I've seen on tiktok,

Uma: Guess who they left in charge while they're gone? Me: That seems like a bad plan Bee: I was about to say

Me: So the biggest complaint I've seen so far has been about this, where Uma says that Auradon was founded 30 years ago Bee: Right Me: I've seen people call it a plot hole because in the first movie, Mal says the kingdom was founded 20 years ago, and I don't think they ever say exactly how much time passes between any of the movies, but the reality is, and I'm gonna touch your hand when I say this, Bee: *cackling* Me: The first movie came out in 2015. It is now 2024. The first movie came out almost 10 years ago, and in fact, when you add 10 to 20, ya get 30. Bee: *still wheezing* Me: Now, I don't know if the complaints are coming from new, younger fans who just recently binged the original trilogy in preparation for this and didn't realize when the first one came out, or if they're from older fans who have lost track of time and don't want to face the math- Bee: Fuck math, man!

(Continuing from the previous conversation, after discussing character ages and determining that Uma is likely between 26-28 at this point) Bee: That's too young to be headmaster, she's a baby Me: Bee, that's fairly close to 30, that's not unreasonable. I feel ya though, I'm not an adult, I'm a baby with a drinking permit. Bee: I think I've finally surpassed baby with a drinking permit, I'm more like. Adult, reluctantly

Fairy Godmother: The queen of Hearts refused to join Auradon when we united Me: Yeah, because you would've imprisoned her???

Blonde Wonderland Guard: *appears* Me: Lucius Malfoy??? Bee: Wig Me: Starkid's A Very Potter Sequel Lucius Malfoy???

Me: Does she (Red) have a nose ring??? Bee: Oh shit, she does! Me: We finally get some edginess to character design and it's when nose rings are no longer edgy

Honorable mention: Us spending Multiple Minutes trying to figure out if Maddox was supposed to be The Mad Hatter or the son of the Mad Hatter. We ended with no answers

(About Paolo!Charming) Bee: Oh, he has only gotten hotter Me: Correct! Why does he have blue in his hair Bee: Because he's hot

Me: Imagine being this in love still after raising Chad

Cindy: We wouldn't have been able to make this great family Bee: And Chad

Cindy: *presents Chloe with the Most Hideous Shoes I have Ever Seen* Me: *chugs what's left of my drink*

Cindy: We can visit Chad at college another time Me: Chad got into college??? Bee: Nepo baby

Bee: Does anyone in this movie understand "show don't tell?" Movie: *Insert Love Ain't It, aka Exposition: the Song* Me: Nope!

Cindy and the Queen of Hearts: *share a look* Me: Ex-lovers Red and Chloe: *share a look* Me: Future lovers?

Me: JABBERWOCKY MENTION! Bee: Drink!

Me: Is that supposed to be Jasmine and Aladdin? Bee: I think so? Me: Why does Jasmine have a fuck-ass bob? What is it with Descendants and fuck-ass bobs???

Me: I'm going to get so drunk over this Bee: I think that's safet Me: ...Safet???

Me: Where are Harry and Gil? Bee: On their honeymoon

(During the What's My Name? reprise) Bee: ...I need to take another drink Me: Same Bee: My drink is almost gone, I'm so sad Me: Do what I did, make another Bee: I will after this dork-ass song

Uma: Do you mind? Queen: I think I do Me: *pausing* Do you want to make a second drink real quick before things get cringier? Bee: ...I think that's a good idea

Me: I think I don't hate the silhouette of the Queen of Hearts' look, but it's way too monochromatic Bee: Drink! You're right though, there's no dimension

*Wand Breaks* Me: OH SHIT Bee: You could do that this whole time???

Cindy: Stop it, Bridget, you're better than this! Me: Is she? Bee: I don't think she is

Aladdin: Look at her, she's enjoying this! Me: Yeah, she's a teenager experiencing parental affection for the first time. Y'all really learned nothing, huh? Bee: You'd think after ten years they'd get their shit together

(As Cinderella is being led away) Bee: I love her poofs Me: God, me too, I love puff sleeves Bee: We are both just Anne Shirley

Fairy Godmother: *is young* Me. She looks so much like Jane Bee: For a second there, I thought that just straight up was Jane Me: Brilliant casting

Me: Why are their clothes so modern if this is supposed to be over thirty years ago

Me: This princess insult doesn't work if you're both princesses

Red and Chloe: *forehead touch* Me: Gay Bee: Kiss

(After Fight of Our Lives) Bee: I feel like this didn't need to be a song Me: We could've just had a homoerotic sword fight à la The Princess Bride

Me: Ahhh, that's why everyone is dressed so modern, so they can blend in without a costume change! That's so lazy!

Bee: He (Merlin) pulls a lit Molotov cocktail from his bag

(Alchemy Class) Bee: ...The hap is fuckening

Red: *eats a cupcake* Bee: These falsies are really gonna help me do alchemy!!!

Bridget: It's Jasmine and Aladdin! J&A: Call us Jaladdin! Me: I will not be doing that Bee: *choking* WHAT THE FUCK

Morgie: Son of Morgana! Me: See, Morgana has a kid already, but gee, why wouldn't Disney want children Googling Mordred? Bee: Hehehe

Uliana: TELL BRIDGET I WILL DESTROY HER Me: See, girl, she did warn you Bee: Why are Jaladdin going with?

Ella: Will you go to castlecoming with me? Me: OH Bee: GAY Me: So it wasn't a prank that turned her evil, it was that her girlfriend ditched her for a boy, Us, simultaneously: IT'S GIVING GOOD LUCK BABE

(In the Tremaine Manor) Me: Oooh, this kid is about to learn what parental abuse is

Bee: I need them to try and fix it and then have to go back again because they accidentally turn Cinderella evil Me: That's what the fifth movie is about, actually

Uliana's Hideout: *emerging from the water* Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Bee: "Can-I-Have-A-Cigarette" lookin' ass Me: *WHEEZE*

(During Perfect Revenge) Bee: Kenny Ortega, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you when I had you

(It was at this point, when Uliana was hanging by her tentacles, that Bee's husband entered to check on us) [Husband]: ...What in the Doc Ock

Me: Ooooh, that last sip hit, I think I've made it to drunk Bee: Oh boy! Me: I'm so glad I don;t have to be anywhere tomorrow Bee: Drink some water Me: Water is for weaklings! Bee: I don't get hangovers anymore because I hydrate while I drink Me: I don't get hangovers because I'm 22 Bee: Suck my dick, Levi Me: I don't think [Husband] would appreciate that Bee: [HUSBAND], CAN LEVI SUCK MY DICK?! [Husband], distantly: I don't know how to respond to that??? Me: *falling off the couch crying laughing*

Bridget: *talking about her Shuffle of Love dance* Me: If not going on date, why worried about love, I am drunk Bee: No, you're correct

Bridget: If I was your mom, I'd love to have a daughter that thinks for herself Me: BOY WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET HIT IN THE MOMMY ISSUES

Bee: Oh, pretty boy (Paolo!Charming) is back! Also I stood up and I too am now drunk

(After some line about valiant knights being always good) Me: Have you heard of Lancelot? Bee: I was about to say

(During the Hands Dirty sequence) Me: This is a song from a better movie Bee: Not again

Bee: I simply do not believe that Cinderella would let her daughter grow up that dumb as hell. I do, however, believe that Prince Charming would let his daughter grow up that dumb as hell Me: have you met Chad? Bee: That's fair, actually. Chad's adopted Me: Who's goddamn white baby is that? Bee: Who's goddamn white baby is that!

Me: Pause! So here, funnily enough, is a perfect example of what my mentor calls "Disney Patches:"

Bee: Drink! Me: So what they're trying to do here is show that Ella has to wear her clothes to the bone and patches them herself. When you add patches to garments to make them look like they've been repaired, you need to make sure the placement makes sense, as in think about where clothes would likely wear to holes: for pants, that's gonna be mainly knees and inner thigh. Disney has a habit of just putting patches wherever in places they just wouldn't be, like here. Why does she have patches in random places on her leg? Bee: Ohhh Me: In some cases in can be a stylistic choice, but I would argue that Ella wouldn't be the type to waste that much fabric for no reason. I can forgive the pockets though, I've had pants that got holes in the pockets, and sometimes it's easier to replace them than to patch

(A shot of Headmaster Merlin's Door) Bee: Hmmm, Merlin Me: ...Headmaster Merlin Bee: hmmmmmmmm, Merlin

Bee, completely deadpan: Hoot hoot, motherfuckers

Me: The Night Falls scene fell flat on its face so this scene could feebly crawl

Me: It has only just occurred to me that Chloe's shoes were supposed to be glass this whole time, I thought they were just fucky Doc Martens Bee: Yeah! Put the uh. The ug. Put the ugly in uggs Me: I think you need to drink more water Bee: I think you're right

Me: They're red and blue gays Bee: They're red and blue gays!

Me: Fuck whatever this movie is supposed to be about, I need them to kiss

Bee: Obsessed with his (Merlin's) coat, costume department popped the fuck off with that Me: That's my line Bee: Drink bitch!

Me: Wait, is that the end? Bee: It can't be, there's no way that worked Me: There's only ten minutes left???

Uma: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Me: FUCK OFF

Bee: I am deadass on Reddit Me: *dying* Bee: Trying to figure out what the fuck

Bee: Where was the climax??? Was it supposed to be that thing in Merlin's office? Me: It can't have been Bee: If it was it fell so flat. I feel like I've sobered up watching that

[afrenchwriter]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @andromeda4004, thank you dear 🥰 Always an interesting game to play, share, and reflect!

How many works do you have on ao3?

17

What's your total ao3 word count?

313,513

What fandoms do you write for?

I launched my AO3 account with a Red Dead Redemption fanfic, and then I discovered Good Omens, and then... well, you know how it goes with this fandom ❤️ That being said, I also had fun exploring the seas during the golden age of piracy (Our Flag Means Death) and the lands of a Norse God (Loki).

Top five fics by kudos:

For His Eyes Only (GO - James Bond AU, M rated, 69K)

Getting Closer (GO - fluffy post-S1 fic, G rated, 3K)

To the End of the Ocean (OFMD - post-S1 fic, M rated, 71K)

Whatever Comes After (RDR - canon divergence AU, M rated, 84K)

Ties & Other Obsessions (Loki - 5+1 fic, T rated, 4K)

Do you respond to comments?

Always! I treasure each and every one of them ❤️ But I have to confess that these past few months have been a bit hard (not much energy, unfortunately), and I'm still trying to catch up on all the lovely comments I've received.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mmh, good question... I'm afraid I don't know how to do that 🙃 Even the last fic I wrote for the GO historical minisode event (Shadow & Light) was supposed to end on an angsty note, and at the last minute, I decided to add a happy epilogue! But if we're talking bittersweet ending, then it would be Sharp Endings & New Beginnings, a post-S2 Loki fic... If you've seen the show, then you know 🌳

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to say, considering my previous answer 😇 but all the long fics listed above have a very happy ending!

Do you get hate on fics?

I did, once, on my OFMD fic... It was a shock, but also an interesting experience: it pushed me to question my narrative choices (and, in the end, confirm them).

Do you write smut?

I do... And I have a second AO3 account dedicated to it 😎 (I wonder how many people will reach this part of the tag game and find this out, eheh)

Craziest crossover:

None for now... (For His Eyes Only cannot be considered a crossover since Crowley is basically James Bond 😎).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! @pavel-pedro has started to translate To the End of the Ocean in Russian... and whether it will be one day finished or not (I know how time-consuming such a work can be!), I'll forever be grateful for the gesture ❤️

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm currently co-writing a fic, actually, with my lovely friend @sabotage-on-mercury: a GO/Fleabag AU! We're taking our time for all sorts of reasons, but we want to make sure we deliver quality content, considering the source materials!

All time favorite ship?

The Ineffable Partners, of course. How can you beat a relationship between two beings who have known each other for millennia and have gone through all sorts of ups and downs, down here and out there?

Or, as Neil would say: why? Love ❤️

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

*insert awkward look monkey puppet meme* I don't know, man... I have too many WIPs piling up lately, and not enough energy to work seriously on any of them... I do hope I'll finish all of my GO WIPs someday. But the one WIP I doubt I'll ever come back to (although it makes me sad because the outline I have for this story is WILD) is the sequel of my long RDR fic, called What We Owe to Each Other.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told several times that I'm good at capturing a character's voice, and that makes me really happy. I'm a huge cinephile and good dialogues, "natural" dialogues, are so important - I'm glad to be able to consider this as one of my strengths! I would like to say developing a plot, too - I love writing long fics and exploring characters' arcs - but I think I'm still too close to the source material for now to consider it a real strength... Room to grow!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a slow writer; I need to develop my ability to use imagery and metaphors; and I need better organization when it comes to writing drafts and editing the whole thing!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Well... I'm French and I write my stories in English + I work as a translator, so... Yes to dialogues in other languages, always (then translated, of course)!

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not exactly sure, but it must have been between those three: Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and Artemis Fowl (ah, teenage years!).

Favorite fic you've written?

That's a hard one... Whatever Comes After will forever have a special place in my heart since it's the fic that 1/ brought me back to writing 2/ helped me prove to myself that I was able to complete a long story. Senses & Sensitivity was my first fic for the GO fandom, and 1/ it made me feel confident to write more for the Ineffable Partners 2/ I made some great connections thanks to it (hello @hasturswig! ❤️). I don't think I've ever had more fun than when I was writing For His Eyes Only (and the enthusiastic comments along the way really helped! ❤️). But, to finish, I'd like to mention When All Is Said and Done, a GO fanfic in the South Downs that just poured out of me after the S2 finale... It really made me experience the magic of writing again.

If you've reached the end, thank you for reading! Feel free to ask me anything... And to consider yourself tagged if you want to play this game, too! ❤️

[maybeimamuppet]

i'll be there for christmas III

hello everyone!! ahh i've missed you all so much i hope you've had a lovely day!! merry christmas to all of you who celebrate :)) sorry i didn't quite manage to post this on christmas. turns out making an entire christmas dinner and all the cookies/sweets for four people and trying to spend some time with family is a lot more time consuming than you would think!

anyway i've spent the last. eight straight hours (whoops) hammering this out as my christmas gift to you!! if you don't celebrate then i hope you enjoy anyway and you've had a wonderful december.

this was loosely requested by @ghosthooman who mostly just wanted to see janis pregnant for a change and tbh i did too!! so here's another little sequel chapter for ya. hope you all enjoy!!

tw for

pregnancy and c-section delivery (both as non-graphic as possible)

miscarriage

panic attacks

postpartum anxiety

and as always if i've missed something please let me know. it is 4am rn so it's. quite possible.

anyway!! enjoy!!

—————

"Janis?" Cady calls from the kitchen one day. Janis groans quietly to herself as she stands from their bed and pads down the long hallway and down the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Are you busy?" her wife asks, looking up at her with a soft smile. Janis returns it and pulls a chair out from the table to sit on.

"Nope," she says. "What's up?"

"We need to have a... um... a conversation," Cady says hesitantly. Janis quirks an eyebrow.

"Are you making me sign another NDA?" she asks. Cady immediately says no, but in such a way that has Janis wondering if she really means it. Cady does have a lot of papers in front of her.

"There'll be no more of those if I can help it. But... we've been married for five years now. My mother has been pressuring me about this for three of them and I can't take it any longer."

"What is it?" Janis asks, reaching a hand across the table to hold Cady's fidgety ones. Cady looks at her with a relieved smile and places her hand in hers.

"My... my family wants to know when we'll have children," she says softly. Janis blinks.

"Children?"

"It's always been the expectation, and I know you said you wanted them previously but I wasn't sure if you still do, and I haven't known what to say but my mother just will not let the topic rest, and I-"

"Cady," Janis interrupts, squeezing her hand with a chuckle. "Breathe. Yeah. I... I still want kids. Especially with you."

"You do?" Cady asks, blinking at her with those huge blue eyes. Janis nods.

"Of course I do," she says. "Do you?"

"Yes," Cady says quietly. "I do."

"Then what's the problem?" Janis asks, scooting her chair closer.

"We're both women, baby, there are some logistical things to figure out," Cady explains with a chuckle.

"I'm not getting pregnant," Janis says immediately. "Ever. You can do anything you want to me except that."

Cady nods. "That's the problem. I... I finally have the job I've dreamed of since I was a child. I've spent my entire life working for this. And as much as I want children, I... I'm not ready to get pregnant and lose that. I'd have to take a leave when they're born, and there's so much that might go wrong that would take me away for even longer. I'm fine taking a long time off if it means getting to spend time with our baby, but... I'm worried about the long term effects carrying a child might have on me. And how they'd affect my ability to work."

"I know," Janis says. "I completely understand. I don't want that for you either."

"Then... what do we do?"

"We could adopt?" Janis proposes.

"Adopt?" Cady asks.

"Babies are exhausting anyway," Janis says. "We could see about getting a kid that's a little older. Someone who really needs a home."

"That sounds lovely," Cady says. "My mother won't be happy."

"Oh my god, is she ever?" Janis says with a bit of a huff. Cady laughs and kisses the corner of her lips.

"You hush, she's gotten much better," she chides.

"I know," Janis chuckles, winding her arms around Cady's neck and kissing her. Cady wraps her arms around her waist and smiles up at her. "We'll figure it out. I'm sure once she meets the kid she'll be fine with it."

"We'll figure it out," Cady echoes.

—-

Unfortunately, there are some things nobody can figure out. They tried for nearly two years, but every foster agency rejected their applications. Every foreign orphanage did too. All of them said the same thing. It wouldn't be fair to allow one child to live in such splendor for a while and then take them back, or while the rest of them are adopted out to normal families. They tried and tried and tried again, but they were shunned at every turn.

"We got rejected again," Cady sighs, plopping on their bed as she hangs up the phone. Janis puts her book down and reaches for her. Cady lies on her stomach with a huff. Janis chuckles and strokes through Cady's auburn hair.

"I think it might be time to call it, Cads," she admits. "I hate to say it, but it's been years and we haven't gotten anywhere."

"Who'd have ever thought you could be too rich to adopt a child?" Cady grumbles.

"I get where they're coming from," Janis says. Cady nods.

"I know. I do too," she says. "...But I really wanted a child."

"I do too," Janis says. "Maybe... maybe it's time to revisit some things."

Cady leans up on her elbows and looks at her with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?"

"We both want kids," Janis begins, almost not believing the words coming out of her mouth. "Your mom won't get off our backs until we have them anyway. So... why... why don't we just do it?"

"You mean..."

"Let's knock one of us up," Janis shrugs.

"Janis, I still don't want to-"

"Then we'll knock me up," Janis says. Cady gawks at her.

"What? But you said you never-"

"I know," Janis replies, pulling Cady closer. "But... I've been thinking, and it... it kind of sounds like it might not be so bad. Once. I can take nine months of hell if it means a lifetime raising a little munchkin with you."

"Really?" Cady asks with tears brimming in her eyes. "You'd do that?"

"Yeah," Janis nods, stroking Cady's cheek with her thumb. "We're talking about it first. But think about it. We could have a little baby. With your eyes and your smile, and my hair. And my height."

"Hey!" Cady says indignantly. Janis laughs, and Cady eventually does too. They're quiet for a moment before Cady whispers, "A baby."

"And maybe someday things will be different and we can still adopt. But for now... let's... let's have a baby," Janis says. Cady cups her face between her hands and stares into her eyes.

"Let's have a baby."

—————

"I'm home!" Cady calls the next day as she enters from work. She kicks off her shoes and heads down the hall to the living room where Janis is waiting with a series of documents spread on the coffee table and a pen in her hand. Cady freezes in her tracks.

"My turn to make contracts," Janis says with a smirk. Cady hesitates before she sits down. "Miss Heron."

"Miss Heron," Cady echoes with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"I have some terms. I think we should get them all... on the table, so to speak. And you can bring up anything you have to. I just don't want us arguing or worrying over anything once we've already gone through with everything."

"Good plan," Cady nods, reaching for the documents to read over. They all turn out to be blank, but Janis pulls out a notepad and writes RULES FOR BABBY in capital letters on the top. "What are your terms, Madam?"

"To clarify. I'm getting pregnant," Janis begins. Cady nods, so Janis writes that down. "I am only getting pregnant once. I want a kid with you, and I'm more than willing to do this so we can get there. But I am not doing it more than once."

"That's fine," Cady says. "I think one baby is plenty for us anyway."

Janis writes that down too. "Since I'm carrying them, I get to accept or refuse any procedures I want."

"Like what?" Cady asks.

"Like if I'm feeling really really sick and I think the gestational diabetes test is gonna make me hurl I get to say no or reschedule it if I want to," Janis explains. Cady nods.

"If you're carrying it I suppose that's only fair. But I get an override if we have medical evidence that either you or the baby are in danger," she insists. Janis considers this point and nods.

"Fair enough. Point three, the baby will be vaccinated on the normal schedule once they're born." she says.

"Obviously," Cady responds. "What else?"

"We both have equal say in picking a pediatrician, but if either of us find anything, the smallest thing, that we don't like about them, we're out of there no questions asked and we find someone else."

"Okay," Cady says.

"Names are a two yes thing only. If one of us doesn't like it the kid doesn't get it," Janis continues. Cady nods. "I don't want to find out the sex until they're born."

"No parties?" Cady pouts. Janis shakes her head vehemently.

"No parties."

"We can't even find out just for us?" Cady asks.

"You know your mom is gonna find worm it out of us if we know," Janis says. "I love her, but the idea of being pregnant around her is exhausting enough without her trying to suggest names and buying an entire nursery for them and everything."

"No, you're right," Cady agrees. "Surprise it is, then. What else?"

Janis adds it to the list. "Um... do you have anything?"

"Uh..." Cady hums. "I want it in writing that I get to come to all of your appointments unless you don't want me there for some reason. And... I don't want to use my eggs."

"You don't?" Janis asks in shock, putting her pen down. Cady looks at her lap and shakes her head. "Hey. Time out, come here. Why... why don't you want to use yours?"

Cady moves to sit next to her wife on the couch and leans into her side with a sniffle. "My... I... I just can't, Jay."

"Why?" Janis asks gently as Cady starts to cry. Janis pulls her closer and squishes her cheek against Cady's head.

"I... I love my family," Cady says hoarsely around a thick lump in her throat. "But-but they have done some-some despicable things in the name of money. That-that's in my blood, Janis. I-I-I don't want to... to pass that down."

"Oh, baby," Janis says as Cady dissolves into sobs against her shoulder.

One of Cady's first orders of business when she became co-CEO of Heron Enterprises with her father was completely revamping their ethics. It's been a slow, and expensive, process, but seeing how Janis was treated gave Cady enough ammunition to be able to talk the board into at least paying their employees a living wage, which is a good first step.

"They have, but you haven't," Janis says. "You've done the opposite, if anything. Even after being raised by your father, you've changed everything. You've basically changed the way the world works, baby. That's in your blood too. That's in you. Just because we use your eggs doesn't mean I'm gonna pop out the next Elon Musk."

"Do not mention that name in this house," Cady growls, wiping her nose with a sniffle. Janis laughs and wipes her tears for her.

"Noted. Should I add that to the list?" she hums. That gets a laugh from her wife.

"Maybe," she hums haughtily. "You... you really want to use mine? You're not worried?"

"Not in the slightest," Janis replies quietly. "Having my own kid would be boring anyway."

Cady laughs again. "I... I guess so."

"I know so," Janis says. "Anything else you want to add?"

"We're both taking off of work two months before and after you're due, at least. I do all the actual work on the nursery, but you can help pick designs and things. No visitors in person for the first month, and we avoid sharing their face in the media as much as we can."

"All good," Janis nods, adding them to the list.

"And no horseback riding lessons when they're old enough for them unless they absolutely beg for them."

"Um... okay," Janis chuckles, knowing her wife's horse phobia still runs deep. Cady hugs her left arm as Janis continues writing.

"Do you have anything else?" she asks. She feels Janis tense beneath her, and she frowns. "What?"

"I want a home birth."

"Absolutely not," Cady says immediately.

"I knew you'd say that," Janis sighs.

"Of course I would! Janis, do you have any idea the number of things that can go wrong during childbirth? Hemorrhaging and-and you could bleed out, you-you-you could die, Jay! And the baby, what if the cord is around their neck, or-or they get stuck? And you could tear, or get hurt otherwise, and we might not be able to get you to the hospital in time-"

"Hey," Janis interrupts. "Stop catastrophizing before I even have the kid in me, hm?"

"Janis, it's so dangerous! I won't allow it," Cady insists.

"It's not any more dangerous than it would be in a hospital," Janis says gently, squeezing Cady's hand. "I'm healthy and... a good size. If we go through with this, the chances of anything going wrong are incredibly slim. I know they're there," Janis continues, cutting Cady off as she was about to interrupt. Cady deflates back against her side with a small huff. "Unless the pregnancy turns out to be high risk for whatever reason, I want it to be here."

"But why?" Cady pleads desperately.

"Because I am going to be in an incredible amount of pain and discomfort no matter what we do, and I don't want to be somewhere I've never been before that smells like disinfectant and bodily fluids while I pop a whole kid out of my body. I trust my body to know what it needs, and I trust you to keep me and the baby safe during it. I want to be able to choose what happens during the process. I want you to be able to be involved as much as you want. We won't get that in a hospital."

Cady is quiet for a long time. "I just don't want you to be in pain."

"I'll still be in pain in a hospital," Janis responds quietly, resting her head against Cady's. "But it's worth it."

Cady cuddles a little bit closer. "We'll do what you want."

"Thank you."

"But," Cady says, and Janis sighs. "If... if it comes down to it, heaven forbid. I'm... I'm picking you over the baby."

"If we ever get there, I trust you to make whatever decisions need to be made," Janis responds just as quietly. "I'll make plans for everything I can. And if it's a situation like that I'll never hold anything you choose to do against you."

Cady nods with a sniffle. "I'm sorry. This should be happy."

"It should be important, and it is," Janis says. "We... we're doing the right thing."

Cady nods. "For us."

"For us," Janis echoes. She tears the list of rules off her notepad and hands it to Cady. "Can you... make this legal, however the hell you do that?"

"'Rules for babby' as the title and all?" Cady says with a watery giggle.

"I'll settle for nothing less," Janis insists. Cady rolls her eyes lovingly and rests her head on Janis' lap.

"You're strange."

"So are you," Janis echoes, gently tapping the tip of her nose. "And we'll have a strange little munchkin before too long."

"Hopefully," Cady sighs.

"We will," Janis insists again. Cady smiles wistfully.

A strange little munchkin.

—————

Cady absolutely insists on hunting down a decent sperm donor for them. Janis would've been perfectly content with an anonymous one so long as they didn't have any genetic conditions, but with everything else going on, she decided this was not the hill to die on.

Cady returned after about six months with one that had as clean a bill of health they could hope for, similar ancestral roots to Janis, and dark hair and eyes almost the same shade as hers. Janis just blinked when she was confronted with all the information and nodded.

Then came time to retrieve Cady's eggs. Janis decided spontaneously that she had changed her mind several times over, watching her poor, needle-phobic wife cry anxiously before her daily shots. Hormones, then the release, and the actual retrieval process itself isn't painless either.

"It'll be worse for you, and you said you'd do it," Cady always sniffled after the rounds were done for the day. "I can handle this."

Before long, they had everything they needed, and it was time.

—-

"You lot have some strong genes," the doctor says as a greeting. "You have seven impressive quality embryos and more that aren't quite so strong. Your chances of a healthy little one are much higher than most we see in here."

Cady smiles down at Janis and squeezes her hand. Janis squeezes back. "We're not putting seven in."

"No, no, heavens no," the doctor laughs immediately. She washes her hands and rolls over a stool to sit on while they talk. "I wouldn't recommend more than three at the absolute most."

"How many do you recommend?" Cady asks.

"For you in particular I would say two. Without wanting to dumb things down, that... doubles your chances of successful implantation. Of course, one alone could also always implant too. I'd just prefer not to see you back so soon if we can help it. And you're strong and healthy, your body can handle two embryos at once until they sort themselves out."

"Two," Janis says. "And what if both... both stick?"

"Then you have twins, and we can discuss what you'd like to do should that happen," the doctor says with a small shrug of her shoulders. "But again, that could also happen with one. Just a matter of fraternal versus identical. Your chances of twins with two embryos aren't all that much higher."

Cady and Janis look anxiously at each other. Twins was a bit more than they bargained for, but... they both have always wanted at least two. And like the doctor says, the chances are low.

"It's up to you, my love," Cady says quietly. Janis has been staring silently at the ceiling since she asked her question, mulling over the realities that are setting in now.

"Do two," she says with a strange lump in her throat, after about five minutes of pure silence.

"Are you sure?" Cady asks. "There's no going back from here."

Janis squeezes her hand and nods. "I'm sure."

The doctor nods and the clinic prepares two embryos. They're implanted a week later.

"And you are now pregnant until proven otherwise, congratulations," the doctor says. Cady tackles her wife in a hug as soon as it's safe to.

"I love you," she says softly.

"I love you too," Janis responds.

—————

It's an anxious few weeks from there. Janis goes from delighted to terrified roughly every thirty seconds, and Cady isn't faring much better.

"What if it didn't work?" she asks anxiously, pacing around their bedroom in the middle of the night. "Or what if it went wrong and damaged your uterus? Or-"

"Caddy," Janis grumbles sleepily from bed. "It's gonna be fine."

"You don't know that! What if you have to get more implanted? You looked so uncomfortable," Cady hums, wringing her hands in front of her.

"I'm gonna be uncomfortable either way. If we lose these then... we'll take some time to process and go from there," Janis says.

"But-"

"Baby," Janis sighs, sitting up and turning on the light. Cady pauses and squints a little bit as she looks at her wife. "Breathe, please. You're stressing me out."

"Sorry," Cady whispers, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm... I'm just worried."

"No shit?" Janis asks with a chuckle. Cady rolls her eyes in her general direction and starts pacing again, albeit much slower. "It's gonna be okay."

"But what if it isn't? What if- what if we're making some terrible mistake? What if we're not ready?"

"Baby, you're just... you... this is just what happened on our wedding day, okay? Even though it was what we both wanted and we knew it would all turn out, we both had cold feet until we were at the end of that aisle holding hands. I'm sure we'll have a few learning curves and whatnot. But... I'm really excited, too."

Cady pauses and looks at her again. She gives Janis a smile warm enough to melt her heart. "I am too."

Janis smiles back. "Yeah?"

Cady nods. "Yeah."

"Come to bed," Janis says, beckoning her over with outstretched arms. Cady sinks into them willingly and nuzzles in close. Janis flips the light back off. They lie together peacefully in the dark for a long, long time.

Janis thinks Cady's finally gone to sleep until she feels her inhale a little bit more heavily and Cady quietly asks, "You're not scared?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I am. I'm fucking terrified," Janis chuckles. "But I'm... not alone."

Cady leans up a little bit and grabs Janis' face between her hands. They have to get quite close to be able to see each other, but she leans in close enough that Janis can see a few vague details of her face in the darkness. "Never. You're never gonna be alone."

Janis smiles and rests a hand over Cady's. "Neither are you."

————-

It's an agonizing wait to find out whether their embryos stuck. It's barely two weeks, but they still don't even make it that long. Cady got so wound up that Janis ended up doing a few tests just to assuage her, but Cady was also too anxious to even look at them. Janis sighed and tucked them away without checking them for the doctors to see the hormone progression.

But, two weeks finally comes, and their tests are almost sure to be accurate at this point. They're both somehow more nervous this time. It feels much more official, even though they're just hanging out in the restroom together while the test sits waiting on the counter.

The timer goes off, and Janis and Cady lock eyes.

"You ready?" Cady asks, taking Janis' hand. Janis takes a deep breath and grabs the test with her free hand. Cady leans into her side, pressing against her arm so she can see the results too.

"It's positive," Janis whispers, biting her lip as delighted tears flow down her face.

"Pos- oh my god!" Cady squeals. She pitches herself at her wife and grabs her face, kissing all over it. Janis laughs and gently grabs Cady's waist to pull her back. "Baby, you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant," Janis whispers before she gives a shocked laugh. "Holy shit."

"We're having a baby!" Cady says happily. Janis catches her when she throws herself at her again and hugs her so tightly, squeezing her close and resting her chin on her shoulder with a deep sigh.

"What if it's twins?" she whispers.

"Oh my god, can you imagine?" Cady chuckles.

—————

Janis can count on one hand the amount of times her feet touch the floor over the next few weeks. Cady either dotes on her hand and foot herself or gets hired help to do it, much to Janis' dismay. Short of going to the bathroom or walking herself to bed, she's treated like a princess in a tower.

It's nice for the first week or so, but after another, things get old. "Cads, I can get my own grapes. They're grapes."

"You're meant to be resting," Cady protests.

"I am! I haven't done anything but rest for three weeks," Janis huffs. "I'm meant to be exercising and stuff, too."

"Lightly," Cady retaliates.

"I haven't even been able to do that," Janis grumbles. "I need to be able to do a few things for myself or I'm gonna go crazy."

Cady sighs. "I'm sorry."

Janis leans against the counter. "It's okay. Just channel your worry in another direction, please."

"I will," Cady promises. "I'll stop chasing you back to the couch, at least."

Janis comes up behind her and kisses the side of her neck. "Thank you."

"I'm getting these grapes for you, though."

"Fiiiine."

—————

The next few weeks go much smoother. They still have a few small arguments, barely enough to even be called such, but Janis is feeling much better at finally being allowed to move around. She actually spent a whole day refusing to sit down just to make up for it all. Cady had a few things to say about that. They spend their time settling into their new rhythm, having blood work done to confirm Janis is actually officially for-reals pregnant, and relishing in the early days together.

Until one day.

"Caddy?!"

Cady goes running into the bathroom when she hears Janis' panicked yell. Janis jumps a bit when she slams the door open and looks at Cady with anxious tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm bleeding," she says quietly. "Like, a lot."

Cady looks a little closer. Janis is, indeed, bleeding a fair bit. They'd been told a bit of spotting is normal, but this seems like... more. "Jesus, honey..."

"I think I'm miscarrying," Janis chokes. Cady shakes her head, both in denial and to clear it.

"Don't say that. Not yet. Let's get you cleaned up and go to the hospital," she whispers through her own tears. Her mind went there immediately, and she's almost positive Janis' words are true. But she can't let herself believe that yet. Can't let herself believe they've lost their baby.

She helps Janis get herself situated and into the car. Janis is quiet the entire drive to the hospital. She doesn't cry, she doesn't speak. She barely moves.

Cady bursts into tears halfway there. Janis looks at her and gently takes her hand off the wheel. Cady sniffs and drives with the other. "I'm so sorry, honey."

"For what? It's not your fault," Janis murmurs, holding Cady's hand to her heart and kissing her fingertips.

"I barely let-let you move for three weeks, you've only gotten two to-to really feel like you're pregnant and-and now we're losing them," Cady sobs.

"You were just trying to keep me safe," Janis comforts.

"Yeah, fat lot of good that did," Cady huffs through her tears. "Does it hurt?"

Janis shakes her head. "It's not... comfortable. But finding the blood was a surprise, I'm not hurting or anything."

"Good," Cady says. She takes a breath in vain and trills her lips. Janis squeezes her hand.

"It'll be okay."

"How-how are you so calm?" Cady murmurs.

"Panicking now won't do anything. Might make it worse, actually. And I'm worried about you," Janis shrugs. "There's... always a chance they're okay and this is just a weird thing."

A low chance, Cady insists in her head, but she doesn't say it out loud. "What if it's not?"

"Then we'll figure that out when we find out."

"...You're not really okay, are you?"

Janis' lip quivers and she chokes out, "Not even a little."

-

Cady pulls into the hospital parking lot and pays an amount of money Janis would've balked at had she not been married to a billionaire for seven years for a spot. People stare at them and point as Cady rushes up to the counter and Janis trails slowly behind her. Neither of them care.

"I think my wife is having a miscarriage," Cady pants, trying not to break down in front of the poor hospital receptionist. "She's almost eight weeks pregnant and she's bleeding a lot, I-I'll pay whatever it takes for her to be seen as soon as possible, we-we just need to know-"

The receptionist passes over a box of tissues and pages a doctor. Luckily, they wouldn't have had to wait anyway. They're called back to a small room and a curtain is tugged shut around an examination table to make it even smaller. Cady grips Janis' hand hard enough to nearly break both their fingers, but Janis doesn't even so much as breathe differently, let alone mention it.

A nurse comes in with a mobile ultrasound cart. Cady can't hold back more tears. They were supposed to have their first real ultrasound next week, to see their baby for the first time and make sure they were growing properly. Now they're having one to make sure there's even a baby at all.

They both wait with bated breath as the wand shifts every which way and the nurse frowns at the screen. Cady looks down to see Janis' fingers on her free hand are crossed tightly. She does the same.

"You're not having a miscarriage," the nurse says after what feels like a year, but can't have been more than five minutes. Janis and Cady both let out relieved sobs.

"They're okay?" Janis chokes. "You swear?"

"I swear. Your babies are both fine."

"Our what now?" Cady asks, suddenly very much not crying. Janis freezes beneath her.

"They're both kickin'. Not literally, of course, they don't really have legs yet. But their heartbeats both look steady, and they're charting properly for how far along you are."

"Both?" Janis echoes. "There's-"

"Oh my god, did you not know?" the nurse gasps. "I'm so sorry, I thought you had found out already! Um, you're having twins! Congratulations!"

"Twins?" Cady whimpers in delight. She looks down at Janis. Janis looks back. "They both stuck?"

"They sure did," the nurse chuckles. She turns the screen around so they can see, and sure enough, there's two little black orbs floating in grey static. "You kinda got the Cadillac of twin pregnancies, here. They each have their own placenta and amniotic sac, so they're the least likely to have any complications and things like that. And it means they're almost definitely fraternal. There's a small chance they're identical, but with you having had two embryos implanted and everything, all the signs would point to you having fraternal twins."

"And they're both healthy? I swear if something is wrong with them I will shut this hospital down so fast-"

"Caddy," Janis chuckles. "She knows what she's doing."

"You can see for yourselves. Let me zoom in a bit," the nurse says. She does, and Cady and Janis both look to see what she's doing. "This little blob thing here is baby A's heart, you can see how strong and steady it is. Oh, here."

She fiddles with the machine for a second, and suddenly an echoey pulsing noise can be heard in time with the rapid pulsing on the screen.

"That's their heartbeat?" Cady whispers, quietly sobbing again. The nurse nods with a huge smile on her face.

"Man, I thought I was gonna have to do the sad part of my job today, but I get to do the best part," she says to herself. "Let me find B for you, too."

They wait while she shifts a little bit, and then they watch the other blob's heart and listen to its steady beating for a long time. "Congratulations. I'll go get you all the boring pamphlets and stuff about twins."

"Thank you," Janis chuckles and sniffles at the same time. She wipes her eyes and leans back on the table. Cady watches as she bursts into hysterical laughter, and she can't help but join in.

"What's so funny?" she asks when they've calmed down a bit.

"I don't know," Janis giggles. "We just went from thinking we didn't have any babies to having two, my nerves are totally shot."

"Yeah, mine too," Cady agrees with a smile. "Twins."

Janis stops giggling suddenly, looking at Cady with a remarkably sober expression. "Do... are you... are you okay with twins? Do you want two?"

Cady squeezes her hand for the umpteenth time since they got to the hospital. "I was afraid of it when we put two in."

Janis just blinks at her, with more tension in her body than Cady's ever seen a human hold. Including herself, and that's saying something.

"But now that I know," she continues. "I've never wanted anything more."

Janis smiles. Cady smiles back and bends down to kiss her.

That's how the nurse finds them, so she just quietly leaves the pamphlets and ultrasound photos on the table next to them and ducks back out of the room. Janis is barely in the realm of reality enough to break away from her wife long enough to say, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the nurse responds, shutting the door behind her.

"Let's go home," Cady whispers against Janis' lips. Janis nods and gives her one last good smooch.

———

"You should still lie down, baby. I know they're healthy, but you've still had a stressful day," Cady says as Janis enters their large house, both of them heaving a sigh of relief.

"...Will you come too?" Janis mumbles, like a small child asking for a hug from their parents. Cady chuckles.

"Of course. Let me get settled, I'll be right there."

Janis nods contently and pads off to the bedroom. Cady grabs her work laptop from the study and a snack for them from the kitchen before she follows her.

Janis is curled up under the covers in their huge bed when she enters, remote in her hand and browsing on the TV for something good to watch. She hesitates on Tangled for a minute before she pulls a face and moves away from princess movies.

Cady swoops in next to her and kisses her cheek. Janis squeals in surprise as Cady gently pushes her backwards onto the bed and pins her down. Cady hovers on her elbows so she doesn't put any pressure on Janis' stomach before she leans down and kisses her soundly. Janis hums in surprise, but she quickly winds a hand into Cady's hair and tilts her head to the side to kiss her back.

"I love you," Cady whispers between long kisses. "The gorgeous mother of my babies."

"Plural," Janis whispers back.

"Thank you," Cady murmurs against her lips. "For doing this."

"You're welcome," Janis chuckles. "But this does mean you're probably gonna have to take a little more time off work than we planned."

"I am anyway, whether something happens or not. Three months both ways, at least," Cady says immediately.

Janis frowns in confusion. "But your dad-"

"Is my boss. If he gets mad at me for taking time off to care for his daughter-in-law and grandbabies he can suck eggs."

Janis laughs and twists little pieces of Cady's hair together. "But you love your work."

"I love you more," Cady says with a shrug. "You're pregnant with twins, darling, it's going to take a fair bit out of you. I want to spoil you as much as I can throughout this. And if that means taking some time off earlier than I need to or working from home, then... so be it."

"Such a devoted mama," Janis grins. Cady pulls back a bit and looks into her eyes. "Baby, why are you crying?"

"I'm gonna be a mama," Cady sobs quietly.

"Yeah," Janis chuckles, reaching up to wipe her tears away. "Did you just notice?"

"No, it's just... it's the first time we've said it," Cady laughs with a sniffle. "We're going to be mamas, Jay."

"We are," Janis agrees.

Cady slides down a bit and gently tugs Janis' shirt up. Janis tips up on her elbows to look at her confusedly. Cady doesn't give her any response before she leans in and carefully presses kisses all over her tummy.

"That tickles," Janis laughs, squirming under the pressure of her wife's lips.

"I'm kissing my babies, it's not my fault they're in you," Cady retaliates, pressing another just above her belly button.

"It kinda is, though," Janis responds. "Dork."

"Hmph," Cady hums, continuing her onslaught of kisses. Janis simply chuckles and accepts her fate.

————-

"Janis!" Cady says, eagerly running into the room about a month later. Janis jumps so hard she nearly falls out of bed.

"What happened? What's the matter?" she asks frantically. Cady is panting like she just ran a marathon and brandishes her phone.

"Guess what?"

"What?" Janis asks desperately, rolling out of bed and going over to her wife.

"The babies are the size of figs!" Cady squeals like this is the most exciting news in the world. Janis pauses.

"Figs?"

"Uhhuh! Look," Cady says, showing Janis an image on her phone. Janis looks at the screen and chuckles.

"I thought someone died," she sighs in relief. "How big even is a fig?"

"Uh... this one says they're as big as brussels sprouts," Cady offers, switching to another app and allowing Janis to see she has about twelve. "And this is what they really look like, aren't they cute? They have little legs now! And it says they're already kicking but you probably won't feel it for a few more weeks."

Janis tilts her head as she looks at the graphic of the little fetus on Cady's phone screen. She thinks it looks a little more like some kind of alien shrimp creature, but she's just glad Cady's excited. "Does it say anything about when I'll stop vomiting every day?"

"Well, you're out of the first trimester after next week, so hopefully then," Cady says, gently cupping Janis' cheek. "I'm sorry you've been so sick."

Janis shrugs. "Two little goblins in there pushing on my insides. Kinda makes sense."

Cady giggles. "Hey, those are our little goblins."

"And they're gonna be goblins until they're about eighteen," Janis snorts.

"Cute goblins, though."

"They better be. Least they can do," Janis replies.

Cady laughs again. Her smile gradually softens and she leaves her hand cupping Janis' cheek. Their conversation fades for a short moment before she murmurs, "You're so beautiful."

Janis feels herself blush and tries to look away. Cady follows her gaze and shifts her hand to rest on the small, but steadily growing, baby bump.

"And this is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Stop it," Janis whines. "I'm too hormonal for this."

Cady giggles and shakes her head. "Hm-mm. I'm gonna tell you every day. You're getting that glow, and seeing you with this little tummy makes me so happy. And I know you're gonna be the most amazing, beautiful mother."

"Nah," Janis hums, pulling Cady in closer and pressing her lips gently against the curve of her jaw. "You are."

"No way," Cady scoffs. "You're the one doing all the work. You've got all the chemicals and hormones in there making you even prettier than you were before."

"I really am gonna start crying if you keep this up," Janis warns. Cady laughs and fiddles with the ends of her hair as Janis rests her head on her shoulder.

"Fine. Then can I talk to the sprouts?"

"The sprouts?"

"The babies," Cady says like it's obvious.

"Oh," Janis laughs. "Um... sure. I don't know if they can hear you yet, but-"

"I don't care, it's a good habit to start forming," Cady says immediately.

Janis sighs lovingly and goes to lie back down. She lies on her side, and Cady lies facing her, scooting close enough that her lips brush against Janis' tummy. Janis smiles and runs her nails gently through the roots of her hair. Cady gives the babies a proper greeting, and explains her entire side of the family. She tells them how she and Janis met, and about what dating her was like, how their wedding went, and how excited they were when they found out about them.

Janis smiles lovingly the whole time, chuckling occasionally at the seriousness with which Cady is talking to their unborn children that may or may not actually have ears.

Cady ends her softly spoken tirade with, "And I know you have a lot more growing yet to do, and I want you to do that. But your mother and I are so, so, so excited to meet you. You're going to be the most perfect babies ever. And we're gonna love you so much. We already do."

Janis sniffles, prompting Cady to look up at her. Cady wiggles so she's actually at her eye level and leans in to give Janis a comforting kiss. Janis whispers, "I love you."

"I love you so much," Cady echoes. "All three of you."

—————

"I'm worried Maddie's going to faint," Cady says anxiously as they get ready for her family's Fourth of July celebration. Janis laughs from the bedroom where she's finishing getting dressed.

"She might," she agrees. Madeleine always at least gets teary when one of her sisters-in-law announces a pregnancy. Twins might be too much for her. "Callum's still strong, he'll catch her."

"Maybe I'll stand behind her," Cady says, fussing over her lipstick. Janis enters the restroom behind her, and they lock eyes in the mirror. Cady can't help the wide smile that splits across her face.

"What?" Janis asks, sheepishly adjusting her overalls over her red shirt.

"Nothing," Cady replies.

"What?" Janis insists with a whine. She's gotten much fussier during her pregnancy, which Cady is weirdly delighted by. It's almost endearing, and she's more than happy to assuage whatever is plaguing her sweet wife in the moment.

"You're just so cute. The overalls and the belly. I can't take you," Cady giggles, turning around to face her. She rests a hand on either side of her wife's tummy and leans in for a kiss. She has to lean a little further every week. Janis happily kisses her back.

"You messed up your lipstick again," Janis whispers when they break apart to breathe.

"Worth it," Cady breathes back before leaning in again.

—-

Not all of Cady's siblings made it to the celebration. Christmas is a priority for the family, but most often they spend other holidays scattered around the world with various other loved ones. And, though she'd never admit it, her favorites did make it. Clark is here, Callum and Madeleine are here with their four children, and Clifton and Hannah with their two daughters.

Janis stands behind Cady to hide her belly while everyone mills around on one of the docks waiting for burgers and hot dogs to be grilled. One of the house chefs is making them, but Cady's dad is thoroughly supervising as though he has any idea what he's doing.

Janis gently winds her arms around Cady's shoulders and kisses her neck. She shifts her lips higher and whispers, "You ready?"

"Are you? Everyone's gonna want to touch your belly, are you okay with that? I'll fight them off," Cady whispers back. Janis chuckles and kisses her jaw.

"No, it's okay. I figured they would, I can handle it for a while," she replies.

"Remember the signals. If you change your mind. I'll throw someone in the lake if I have to," Cady says insistently.

"Even your mom?"

"Especially my mom."

"Damn. You're committed," Janis chuckles.

Cady shrugs and gently leans back against her. "I'm kind of surprised nobody's noticed yet."

"We're being totally inconspicuous," Janis chuckles sarcastically. "I'd like to tell them before I start eating for three so I don't get stared at, though."

Cady laughs out loud at that. A few of her family members look at her and she freezes, but they just smile and return back to whatever they were doing. "You'll be fine. Should we just do it now?"

Janis shrugs. "Up to you."

Cady kisses her for strength and takes a deep breath. "Hey, uh..."

"Did you say something, dear?" Cady's mother asks. "Speak up."

"Yeah, but this is kind of for everybody to hear. We have a little surprise," Cady says. Her mother helpfully takes over.

"Everyone! Gather 'round, please, Cadence has something for us," she yells. Everyone except the chef puts down what they were doing and circles around them.

"What is it? Do we get presents?" the youngest child, Zacharias, asks eagerly. Cady laughs and reaches to ruffle his hair.

"Not this time, kiddo, sorry," she says apologetically. Zach pulls a small face and seems visibly disappointed, but he cheers up when his big brother Lennox wraps an arm around his shoulders and rubs his knuckles through his hair.

"Ow, Lenny!" he says eventually.

"Boys, settle down," Madeleine scolds gently. "What is it, Cades?"

Cady freezes. She's not even the pregnant one, and she can't get the words out. Janis frowns in concern for a moment and gives her a little squeeze.

"We're pregnant," Cady says hastily. "Well, mostly her. But, yeah."

Pandemonium is not a strong enough word for what breaks out. Confused children get shoved out of the way by older siblings and parents screaming in excitement, and Cady and Janis are wrapped in more arms than they can count within seconds.

"Oh my god, congratulations! My little Cady's all grown up!" Madeleine says around happy tears. "Having a baby of her own, I can't believe it!"

Janis smiles widely. "About that."

Madeleine snaps to look at her, and her eyes widen. "No." Janis nods, her smile growing. Madeleine screams in delight and runs in to hug her alone. "Twins?!"

"Triplets," Janis replies. That gets her. Madeleine collapses in her arms, and she barely has the strength to pass her to Callum. "Kidding. Yeah, just twins."

"Congratulations," Callum says, tapping Madeleine's cheeks as he tries to revive her. "And thanks for breaking my wife."

"You're very welcome," Janis replies with a mischievous smile. Cady gently whacks her arm. "Hey!"

"You stinker," Cady giggles. She squeaks as her parents both tackle her in a hug. She looks at Janis with eyes wide as saucers. You'd think she'd just been bitten by a shark.

"Congratulations, dear," her dad says. "Twins?"

Cady nods. "Twins."

"Why aren't you carrying them?" her mother asks.

"Because Janis wanted to," Cady responds.

"Are you planning on more?"

"Not at the moment."

"When is she due?" her mother asks.

"December," Janis replies. "But they'll probably be early, so we don't really know."

"Are you planning on breastfeeding?"

"Mother! Enough with the questions, please," Cady pleads. "Please just be happy for us, let us do this the way we need to."

Her mother humphs a little bit, but she does smile and squeeze her the slightest bit. Cady relaxes ever so slightly into it. Janis watches with a proud smile, and jumps when she's beckoned over to join the hug. "Oh, but you must let me throw you a baby shower."

"A small one," Cady says. "Like, brunch group small."

"Oh, bah," her mother says. "You're no fun."

"Mother," Cady says warningly.

"Fine, fine. No more than thirty people. Janis, I'll need contact information for your people so I can get things arranged," she says.

"Of course," Janis chuckles. "You'll finally get to see Damian again."

Damian and Cady's mother had met for the first time at their wedding and, somehow, got on like a house on fire. Apparently they still text regularly with party planning tips and quiche recipes, and have semi-regular coffee dates.

"Oh, that darling," Cady's mother says eagerly. "I can't wait. Congratulations again, loves."

"Thanks mom," Cady says with a smile. Her mother smiles back and kisses her cheek before she goes on to join in the suddenly much more lively celebrations.

"Surprised she hasn't already insisted on doing the nursery," Janis hums as she wraps Cady in the closest thing to a hug they can manage around her belly. Cady laughs.

"She only just found out, she's got to have enough time to come up with a theme and things," she replies. Janis laughs with her.

"Do you have any theme ideas?"

"Do you even want a themed nursery?" Cady retaliates, looking up at her with genuine interest. Janis considers this quite valid point.

"...Depends on the theme."

"Circus?" Cady suggests. Janis looks at her incredulously.

"I'm terrified that that was your first suggestion," she says. Cady laughs.

"I wasn't really serious," she says, saving herself in the eyes of her wife. "Dinosaurs?"

"Dinos might be cute," Janis agrees with a nod. She herself absolutely loved dinosaurs as a kid. It's definitely something to consider. "What about, like, just animals? Or safari or something."

"Oh, that would be adorable," Cady coos.

"Yo, mamas! Come eat," Clark hollers at them, interrupting their discussion. They both jump a bit and laugh as they head to join the line for cheeseburgers and hot dogs.

"We'll figure it out," Janis says as she sees the gears still clunking around in Cady's head.

"I know," Cady says. "I just like knowing things ahead of time."

"I know you do," Janis chuckles. "We have plenty of time. I'm only eighteen weeks."

"Almost nineteen. We're nearly halfway through, and the babies will probably be early, there's so much to do-" Cady says, getting progressively more frantic.

"Caddy," Janis interrupts, putting down both their plates so she can take and squeeze Cady's hands. "It's gonna be fine, okay? The babies aren't even gonna be in the nursery for a few months. They could come tomorrow and we'd be able to figure it out. Even if they come early, they'll be okay with a nursery that isn't perfect."

"They'd better not come tomorrow, you're not past the viability point yet," Cady mumbles. Janis laughs.

"There's my girl."

Cady smiles and tucks herself into her wife for a quick hug. She takes a detour when she pulls back to kiss Janis' belly, and then leans up to kiss Janis too. She bats Janis' hands away from picking her plate back up, and piles it high with all the delicious sides and carries it to the table on her behalf.

"Thanks," Janis says when she sits down next to her. Cady just nods and takes her hand under the table. Janis gives her a squeeze, and Cady squeezes back.

They stay like that throughout the meal, absentmindedly eating with their free hands and making casual conversation with relatives. Zach is very excited now that he knows he's getting two new little cousins soon and lovingly pesters his still-recovering mother with lots of questions about where babies come from and things of that sort. Janis snorts into her potato salad when he incredulously asks, "They're gonna come out her vagina?!"

Everyone else returns to their various activities once the meal is done and digested. Kids leap into the lake, parents stand anxiously watching from the shore or join in themselves. Cady's parents go inside for a nap, and Cady and Janis spread out a blanket on the sand and lie down together. Cady leans in and presses her lips against the top of Janis' rounding tummy a few times before she nuzzles in a little higher. Janis wraps her arm around her and holds her close, kissing the side of her nose as Cady also drifts off for a quick little cat nap in the sand.

Janis smiles to herself as she rests her head down against her other arm and watches her wife sleep.

God, I hope they look like you.

—————-

The next morning, Janis gets the wits scared out of her by Cady sitting bolt upright in bed next to her with a quite dramatic gasp.

"Jesus, what happened?" Janis gasps herself. Cady turns to look at her with a stricken look.

"We forgot to tell Damian!"

"Oh," Janis sighs in relief. "Don't do that, I thought you were having a heart attack or something."

"Oh. Sorry," Cady says sheepishly. "I can't believe we forgot to tell him, though!"

Janis chuckles and pulls her wife back against her. "Cads, it's not a big deal. We only told your family yesterday."

"But we told yours a week ago, we should've told him then!"

"Let's just do it now, hm?" Janis offers. Cady nods. "He's gonna scream, watch out for your ears."

"Just turn the volume down," Cady says. Janis pulls her phone out and texts Damian asking if he's available for a Facetime. She grabs one of her positive tests from her nightstand drawer and holds it, figuring that'll be the simplest way to get him to understand.

"Hey babes," Damian greets when the call connects. "Ugh, look at those pretty faces."

"Hi Damian," Cady greets with a giggle.

"Angel, how are you?! It's been too long," Damian says.

"It has! You have to come up to see us sometime soon. I can't believe it's already been a month, usually we can't even make it a week!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. My show schedule has been crazy," Damian says. He'd been cast in a production of The Wedding Singer and unfortunately had to devote too much time to that to be able to visit them on their normal schedule. "I miss you guys."

"We miss you too," Cady says. Janis nods.

"You guys should come see the show!" Damian offers. They usually do, but Janis wasn't up for the traveling, being so sick most days.

"We want to," Janis says apologetically. "I don't think we'll be able to this time. But we're cheering you on in spirit, baby boo."

"Thanks," Damian says, striking a remarkably homosexual pose. Cady and Janis both laugh. "Bummer you guys can't make it."

"Yeah, we're sorry," Cady says. "I'm sure you're great, though. And it'll be more than worth it."

"Worth it? What do you mean? If you guys can't come you can't come, it's no... big..."

Janis held up the test in the middle of him speaking, and they watch him take a few seconds to process before they have to mute him entirely to save any scrap of their hearing. When they see his mouth start to move in recognizable shapes again, they turn the sound back on.

"-baby! Holy shit, congratulations! I can't believe it! A baby! I'm gonna be an uncle!"

"It's twins," Cady says. Janis has to mute her phone again. Cady recognizes his lip movements partway through. "No, we're not fucking with you, we're really having twins."

It's a solid ten minutes before they can unmute him this time.

"My mom wants your help throwing her baby shower, she'll be in touch about that soon," Cady says when he's gone from the screaming phase to the hysterical sobbing phase.

"Of course! Oh my god, I'm gonna be a twuncle!" he sobs.

"No. New word," Janis says immediately.

"Twinkle."

"No."

"You have plenty of time to think of something tolerable," Cady interrupts. "And we'll be sure to bring them along to your next show. Well, once they're old enough."

"Yes! Oh my god, I can't wait. Okay, I have to go now or I'm gonna be late for work. I love you both and those little babies blossoming in your uterus very much. Have a wonderful life."

"Bye, weirdo," Janis snorts, hanging up on him and dropping the phone somewhere to be lost in the duvet. "There. Everyone is told."

"That's a relief."

—————

"Caddy!"

Cady goes tearing through the house and crashing into the room when she hears Janis yell for her. It sounds panicked. We can't be going through this again. They were fine the first time. Not again. "What happened?! What's the matter, are you bleeding again?! What's wrong?!"

"No, no, come here!" Janis insists eagerly. Cady pauses and reassesses when she sees her wife is actually... laughing. No bleeding, then.

Confused, Cady heads over to her wife. Janis grabs her hand and rests it right on the front of her belly.

"Feel," she says.

"Feel what?" Cady asks.

"Just keep your hand there," Janis says. Cady frowns at Janis' belly, but obediently keeps her hand where it was placed. After about thirty seconds, there's a little bump right against her palm. Cady screams and jerks her hand away before she realizes what it was and quickly puts it back.

"Oh my god! They're kicking!" she squeals.

"They're kicking," Janis agrees, laughing and crying at the same time.

"That means they have feet!" Cady says eagerly. Janis laughs harder.

"I- yeah, it does," she nods. "Doesn't it feel crazy?"

"Yeah," Cady agrees quietly. Janis frowns sadly when she suddenly lets out a sob. "That's our baby. Our baby's in there. Kicking you."

"And there's another one too," Janis hums, brushing Cady's hair out of her face and kissing her cheek. "We're getting pretty close now."

Cady nods again, but doesn't say anything. Janis is perfectly content to let her rove her hands all over her tummy, feeling for every little motion their babies make. Eventually, little jolts start happening at regular intervals on the other side.

"I think A has the hiccups," Janis giggles. "That's where they were on the last exam. B must've been the kicker then."

"They're so cute," Cady says with a sniffle, feeling each little jolt caused by each hiccup.

"Says you. You try having something with the hiccups inside you," Janis chuckles.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah. It's just... really fucking weird, Cads," Janis replies. Cady laughs.

"I can imagine." She leans down and presses her lips to the right side of Janis' belly to talk to that baby in particular. "Hey, hold your breath! You're making your mother uncomfortable!"

Janis laughs again. "He can't help it."

"He?"

"I think we have at least one boy in there," Janis hums as Cady straightens back up.

"Really?" Cady asks. Janis nods.

"I'm almost positive," she replies. "What do you think?"

"I... I don't know," Cady replies. "I haven't had any... feelings."

Janis smiles and wraps her in as tight of a hug as they can manage. They slowly sway around their bedroom as they continue speaking. "I guess that makes sense. It's probably harder when they're not inside you."

"How crass," Cady giggles.

"I'm a heathen, remember? It's in my job description to be crass," Janis chuckles, kissing Cady's neck. They're quiet for a moment before she asks, "What do you want?"

"In what way?" Cady whispers back.

"Do you want sons? Daughters?" Janis asks. She doesn't sound like she's particularly fussed with whatever Cady says. She sounds like she genuinely wants to know.

"I just want all of you to be healthy," Cady replies.

"Come on, we both know that's a load of shit," Janis says. "As long as you know you'll love them even if they don't turn out that way, what do you want?"

Cady laughs. "In that case... I really hope you're right. One of each would be so sweet. But even if we have two boys or two girls, they'll be perfect. But I really, really just want two healthy babies and my healthy, beautiful wife."

"One of each would be fun," Janis agrees. "I guess we'll find out."

"And we'll find out soon!"

—————

"Ceiling would be a good name," Cady says quietly one night. Janis leans up on her elbows to squint incredulously at her wife in the darkness.

"You want to name one of our babies Ceiling?"

"I didn't say that. But if it didn't mean what it does, I think it would be a nice name. It has a good sound to it," Cady says, suddenly sounding much more sheepish. Janis laughs and cuddles into her side.

"I guess it does," she agrees. "But we're not naming our baby that. I know we're rich and famous, but we're not that rich and famous."

"No, of course not," Cady says immediately.

"Ceiling would be a good name, though," Janis agrees now that she's given it more thought.

"There's lots of words like that."

"Like what?"

"That would be nice names if they didn't mean what they mean," Cady says.

"...Like what?" Janis asks again.

Cady thinks for a moment. "Basket."

Janis considers this and nods. "I guess it does sound kind of name-ish."

"I told you! There's all sorts," Cady says.

"Cardigan," Janis says. Cady nods eagerly.

"Yeah, exactly!" she says. "I'm so relieved you understand my nonsensical ramblings most of the time."

"Most of the time they're actually pretty sensical," Janis chuckles. "But your ramblings are always my favorite."

"Hush," Cady scoffs quietly. Janis laughs and shakes her head.

"Nah."

She can almost hear Cady rolling her eyes, even though she can't see it in the dark. Janis can't help but continue thinking of words that could fit as names in alternate universes.

"Paper," she says quietly. Cady nods.

"Sofa."

"Enough," Janis continues. Cady deflates a little. "No, like, as a name. It has a fun sound."

"Oh! Yeah, you're right," Cady giggles. "Carrot."

"Carrot is great," Janis chuckles. "Ceiling and Carrot."

Cady laughs so hard she nearly pushes Janis off her. Janis can't contain her giggles either, and they spend a frankly concerning amount of time giggling at nothing in the darkness together.

Janis wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. "Android."

"Band," Cady says.

"Prophecy," Janis says with incredible drama.

Cady gives an oooh and thinks quietly for a moment. "...Chlamydia."

"Wh- Caddy!" Janis splutters out a shocked laugh.

"What?! I'm not saying anyone should name a baby that! I'm just saying that if it wasn't... that, it has a pretty sound!" Cady defends. She's laughing more at Janis' near-uncontrollable laughter than the actual idea of naming a baby after an STI.

Janis presses her forehead to Cady's shoulder and continues giggling into the blankets. When she calms down again, she says, "I love you."

"I love you too," Cady says softly.

"I'm glad we still know how to make each other laugh," Janis continues, ghosting a touch over Cady's collarbones with her pointer finger.

"I am too," Cady replies, tucking her head against Janis'. "I'm glad I have you to keep me smiling."

"I'm glad I have you to give me some excitement," Janis murmurs.

"I'm glad I have you," Cady says plainly.

"I'm glad I have you too," Janis murmurs. Cady adjusts them to such a position that she can lean in for a sweet, soft, lingering kiss. "And I'm glad I get to do that whenever I want."

Cady smiles and gently flicks her ear. "Goof."

"Oh, I'm the goof for being glad I have the hottest wife in the world that I get to kiss whenever I want?"

"Yes, because you don't have the hottest wife in the world," Cady giggles. "I do."

Janis scoffs. "Maybe before you knocked me up. With twins, might I add."

Cady shakes her head. "Especially now."

"...Really?"

"Of course, really," Cady giggles again. "You've always been beautiful. And you always will be beautiful to me. No matter how you feel about yourself. You're beautiful now, even though you're not happy with your body. You're carrying our babies. I don't know if you've ever been so beautiful. You always were, of course, but now... I can't stop looking at you. And you'll be beautiful when you're all wrinkly and your hair is all grey and we're sitting in rocking chairs together somewhere and we can only eat soup."

Janis chuckles and leans in for another kiss. "You really think you'll wanna be with me when all I can eat is soup?"

"Of course. Don't you?" Cady asks.

"Yeah. You'll be a cute old lady," Janis says immediately. Truth be told, she's always pictured the same thing. Every new line or scar on Cady's body is a revelation. A sign that she's changing. She's aging. Janis is always excited to get to know the new her with the new changes, slight as they are. As terrifying as it is, she's excited to be an old lady if it means she gets to know Cady as one too.

It's nice to know she feels the same.

Janis kisses her one more time. "Do you have any, like... real ideas for their names?"

Cady shakes her head. "Not really. I've had a few that sounded nice, but nothing has really given me that definite yes sort of feeling yet. Do you?"

"I have one I'd really like if we have a girl," Janis says quietly. "But I kind of want to wait until they're born and name them when we see them."

"I'd like that," Cady says. "What's the name?"

"You'll find out if we meet her," Janis hums smugly. Cady scoffs.

"Stinker."

"Hey, you were the one just going on about how excited you are to see me as a grandma," Janis retaliates with a giggle.

"I take it back," Cady sighs lovingly. "You're such a goofball."

"I'm not the one who wants to name a baby Chlamydia."

"I said I don't!" Cady insists before they break into peals of laughter again. Janis joins in, pressing her forehead against her wife's and laughing against her lips.

"God, we're gonna be parents."

—————

The next day they giggle about it all again on their way to their ultrasound appointment to see that the babies are still developing on track. Janis is used to it all by now, but she still shivers at the chilly gel rubbed onto her stomach.

"Aww," Cady coos when one of their babies' faces is visible on the screen. Janis smiles and watches too.

"That's B today, getting that sweet little face growing just fine," the doctor says as she shifts the wand all around and takes measurements of their limbs.

Janis and Cady chat while the scan continues. Little things, like what they want for dinner; they really should call Damian, it's been so long; look how cute the baby's little fingers are.

"Hm," the doctor hums softly, looking at the scan with a small frown before referring back to her notes. Cady and Janis' conversation halts in its tracks, and they both turn to see her. "You're planning on a home birth?"

"Yes," Cady says, squeezing Janis' hand.

"I'm afraid that might not be possible," the doctor says in concern.

"Why not? Are the babies okay? What-what's the matter with them?"

"As far as I can see, they're both still perfectly healthy," the doctor soothes immediately, noticing both of them starting to panic. "But you have a little troublemaker in there."

She shifts the wand a bit for another angle to confirm her suspicions, and she nods gravely. "Your baby A in here is the issue. They're in what we call the frank breech position."

"But they're okay?" Cady asks desperately.

"I can't see spectacularly well, but they've been doing just fine in all your previous scans, I don't think anything could've gone terribly wrong with them in the meantime."

"But what does that mean? Why can't I have a home birth?" Janis asks, sighing in relief now that she has reassurance that the baby is okay.

"Well," the doctor sighs and rolls over to a cabinet, pulling out a baby doll. She curls it gently in on itself. "Ordinarily babies are sort of curled up like this, and then they straighten out during delivery to come out safely. B is like that, you can see them here."

"Okay," Janis says. "Doesn't breech just mean they're upside down? Won't they flip over before I go into labor?"

"Ordinarily, yes," the doctor explains. "But frank breech means that your baby is... like this."

Cady and Janis both blink in shock as she folds the doll sharply in half.

"Their legs are up in front of their face, in this sort of V-shaped position. Look here," she says. Cady and Janis both look at the screen. "Those are feet, and that's their ear. At about the same level."

"Oh," Janis says. She can't hold back a giggle, in spite of the bad news.

"For pregnancy it's perfectly fine, even if it does make it harder for me to check on them. But for delivery... it's, er... well, to be frank with you ladies, the baby would likely come out bum-first. With a vaginal birth, that puts an incredible amount of strain on both the baby and you."

Janis can imagine delivering a baby bent in half would indeed be considerably more painful. "So... I-I have to have a C-section?"

"I don't want to dash all your hopes just yet, but I'd expect so. With you carrying twins, they're very cramped for room in there, so I don't expect they'll straighten out in time for you to deliver naturally. You'll be having weekly scans from now on anyway, but if they don't unfold before you're about 36 weeks it's almost a definite, unfortunately."

"Damn it, kid," Janis tuts under her breath. "As long as they're healthy. They can come out however they want to."

"B is doing just fine, A's heart looks great. And their legs are clearly growing on schedule to be so long. Anything else isn't really an immediate concern, just keep an eye on how you're feeling and make sure you get here every week for those scans."

"We will," Cady says, squeezing Janis' hand. Janis nods.

The doctor wipes the gel off of Janis' belly before she leaves. Janis pulls her shirt back down and sits up with Cady's help.

She's almost silent again as they walk to the car, and most of the way home. Every time Cady looks at her she seems fine, almost content, but Cady has reason to believe otherwise. "Are you okay, my love?"

Janis looks at her, and she seems almost confused. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"...Because your entire birth plan has to change now? You were very adamant about what you wanted and now you're being forced into practically the opposite."

Janis shrugs. "I kinda figured I wouldn't be able to have a home birth once we found out there were twins. I've had plenty of time to prepare for the possibility of things changing. I'd still prefer that, but if I have to have a C-section then I have to have a C-section. I don't think trying to fight it will do any good."

"I'm still sorry you're not getting your... is dream birth a weird thing to call it?"

"Yes," Janis laughs immediately. "It's really fine, Cads. As long as they're out of me by the end of the day, at this point I couldn't give a flying fuck how it happens. And this way I won't have to work so hard."

"You'll still have to work very hard," Cady says in concern.

"I know. But hopefully I won't get all sweaty," Janis says. Cady chuckles and takes her hand.

"That's what you're worried about?"

"I don't have anything else to worry about right now," Janis says with a shrug. "If we find something else to worry about then I'll worry about it. But I hate being sweaty, so hopefully that won't happen now."

"I love you," Cady says. Janis turns to look at her and smiles.

"I love you too."

Cady continues driving, and they're silent until they're nearly home. Cady fidgets with Janis' fingers with her free hand and quietly says, "We get to pick their birthday this way."

"Exactly," Janis chuckles. "You're getting it."

—————

After much discussion, they pick November 16th to be their babies' birthday. They were told to pick a day in mid-November to avoid Janis going into labor as best they could, and to give the babies enough time to finish growing. They didn't want it close to Halloween, but also not too close to Thanksgiving. And Cady likes even numbers, so the 16th was a quick pick.

The weeks fly by, the hospital bag is packed. Cady dances around the house the morning of as they gather all their things and drive to the hospital. "We're having babies today!"

"This is really not a we thing," Janis grumbles crankily.

"We get to meet our babies today!" Cash amends. Janis chuckles and squeezes her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"As well as I can knowing I'm about to be sliced open and have twins removed from me," Janis replies. Cady blinks, but she nods.

"Okay. That's... definitely one way of putting what's about to happen," she replies. "Are you scared?"

Janis nods. Cady pouts.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right there with you, I won't let anything happen to you. Or to them. I promise."

"I know," Janis says softly, squeezing her hand again in thanks. "That's the only thing keeping me from totally spiraling right now."

"If they do anything I will shut that place down so fast. Everyone's getting fired, I swear to god," Cady says. Janis laughs.

"Caddy, it'll be fine. I know it will, but knowing I'm about to be numbed from the tits down for like, multiple hours, and again, have babies removed from my stomach just isn't the most pleasant idea."

Cady is quiet for a moment. "I'm still gonna fire them all. I'll hire new better doctors myself and get the best ones to make sure you're okay."

"You've already gotten me into the best hospital for C-sections in the state, babe, we'll be fine," Janis chuckles. "Calm down a little. Rage later if you need to, but don't get yourself all worked up now."

"I'm just excited," Cady mumbles sheepishly. Janis smiles.

"Good."

"Are you?"

"God, yeah," Janis chuckles. "Our little munchkins are coming today. And I don't have to be pregnant anymore. I'll probably be able to sleep on my stomach again by tomorrow night!"

“That's what you're excited about?" Cady giggles."You don't know, man. You try being pregnant with twins sometime," Janis huffs.

"No, I'm alright, thank you," Cady says immediately. Janis laughs. "I think one set is plenty for us."

"Definitely," Janis chuckles. "God, I saw in the news the other week that this couple did the same thing we did but both their eggs split and they ended up with quadruplets."

"Heavens," Cady shivers. The idea of the two of them raising two babies, even with all their money, is frightening enough. She can scarcely imagine four. At a stoplight, she bends over and kisses Janis' belly. "Thank you for staying how we put you."

Janis laughs again. "How are you feeling?"

"I have never been so afraid in my life," Cady says honestly. "But I've never been so excited either."

——

They both have the jitters by the time they pull into the hospital parking lot. Janis waddles slowly behind Cady as they head inside. Cady pauses at the door, knowing they'll be leaving with their babies. This is the last door they'll enter as a family of two, before their two and two make four.

Cady gets them all signed in, and then they have about an hour to get used to things before their surgery is scheduled. Cady cracks some very weak dad jokes, but Janis laughs all the same and gives her adoring smiles with each one. "You gotta step up your game, babe."

"I know," Cady whines after a particularly bad one about blankets for the babies to be kept at 'womb temperature'. Janis smiles and pats her hand.

"You'll get there. They won't be able to understand them for a good few years anyway," she says comfortingly. Cady smiles and leans in to kiss her.

That turns out to be the last practice shot she gets. Doctors come pouring in to get Janis dosed up and the both of them into sterile clothes. Cady is suddenly hit with the realization that this is all happening, like, right now as Janis is wheeled to the operating room and she's left to run after them.

It takes a very

very

very

long time.

Janis doesn't exactly look comfortable, but she doesn't complain of any pain. She does mention offhandedly that it feels like she's being squashed by an elephant, but that's the extent of her complaints. Cady is the one with most of them.

"This is taking forever," she whines into Janis' shoulder behind the partition. Janis tries not to laugh and risk jostling anything while someone has the fancy equivalent of a knife held at her gut.

"I don't know about you, but I'd prefer they take their time," she responds. "It can't be much longer. You've waited eight and a half months, we almost get to meet them now."

"The anticipation is killing me," Cady huffs. "I want our babies out and you safely put all back together and I want to take all of you home and love on you until they're in college."

Janis smiles. "I love you."

Cady smiles back and leans down to kiss her. "I love you too."

"Oh!" the doctor suddenly exclaims, and Cady is on her feet in a flash.

"What happened?! Are they okay? Is she okay?" she says desperately.

She freezes as she hears a shrill cry split the air. She looks down at Janis, who smiles dopily back at her. Tears start pooling in her eyes as she looks back and forth between her wife and the doctor.

The crying continues for a moment as the people on the other side of the partition handle the situation, and then a tiny baby is held over it for them to see. "Here's your baby B."

"B? What happened to A?" Janis asks.

"Apparently this one decided he wanted to be born first. Kicked A out of the way!" the doctor chortles.

"He?" Cady says with a quiet sob. The doctor nods, and Cady immediately leans in to kiss Janis. "A boy."

"I had a feeling there was at least one in there," Janis chuckles. Their son is passed off so they can get the other twin out and Janis closed up before too much longer. Another shrill cry rings out, and Cady and Janis both start sobbing again.

"Here's little A," the doctor says. "Miss Troublemaker."

"A girl?" Cady whimpers, looking at the little pink squirming thing. "We-we got both?"

"Certainly looks that way!" one of the nurses says cheerfully. Cady hesitantly steps around the curtain to cut the cords, trying very hard to focus on that and not her wife's insides on the outside. The surgeon gets to work handling that, and the babies are taken to the counter in the room to be measured, weighed, and cleaned off.

It feels like hours have passed before two swaddled little babes are carried back to them, still crying about all they've been through today. Cady sits back by her wife and smiles as one baby is tucked against her face on either side.

"Hi," Janis whispers through her tears, bringing up a hand to rub each soft little cheek. "Hi, babies. Thank fuck you're out."

"Hey," Cady laughs wetly. "Mind your profanity."

"They're crying so loud they can't hear me anyway," Janis chuckles. "Shh, I know. I know. I'm crying too, I know. We're all okay."

Cady sobs again and leans across their son to kiss her wife soundly. "You're all perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"They're... they're not missing toes, or anything? They're okay?" Janis sighs heavily.

"They're both just fine," one of the nurses says with a chuckle. "I'm new, but they're the healthiest twins I've seen so far."

"I told you," Cady says with a laugh.

Once Janis is put back together and stitched up, they're wheeled back to their room to rest and bond as a family for the very first time. Cady props Janis up with pillows and crawls into bed behind her. Janis winces as she has to move, but she leans back into Cady with a relieved sigh and finally gets a good look at their babies.

Cady kisses her neck gently and looks at the little ones over her shoulder. "They're so beautiful. And you're so strong. I... I can't believe they're here."

Janis smiles at the sleepy babies in her arms. "They're here."

"I love you," Cady whispers. "So much. Look at them. Look at what you brought into this world. They're perfect. You're the strongest person I know. And you're so beautiful. Thank you."

Janis blushes and feels tears start pooling in her eyes. "Don't make me cry, I just got Frankenstein-ed back together."

"I'm sorry," Cady laughs. "But it's true. Thank you for doing this. And I'm sorry you didn't get the experience you wanted."

"We have them," Janis says quietly. "That's all I wanted. They're safe, and they're here."

"And they're perfect," Cady murmurs. "These are ours."

"Our babies," Janis echoes with a smile. "The girl is bigger?"

Cady nods. Janis had been in the process of getting stitched up when the nurse told them, so Cady took in everything she could on her behalf. "She's six pounds and four ounces. This one. And our little boy is six pounds even."

Janis looks at their daughter in her left arm and son in her right. "They look just like you."

"You think?" Cady asks softly, resting her chin on Janis' shoulder. Janis nods and leans even harder back against her.

"They do. They look more similar than I thought they would, too."

"They do," Cady agrees. Both babies have impossibly full cheeks, matching little button noses, pouty mouths, what would be wide eyes if they were open, and Cady's dainty little ears.

Janis pulls off their little beanies, and Cady can feel her sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"I had two blonde babies?" Janis says in exasperation. "Two? Blonde?"

"That's exactly what my hair looked like when I was born," Cady chuckles, looking at the tiny tufts of strawberry blonde hair on each perfect little head.

"I guess I can live with it then," Janis sighs, but Cady can feel her smile. "They need names."

Cady nods. "What do you think?"

Janis looks back and forth between the babies, trying to decide which of them to start with. "He looks a little bit like a Charles."

Cady almost knocks everyone out of the bed in her shock. "You want to name him after my father?"

Janis shrugs. "Why not? Your dad and Charlie are some of the most important people in your life. And how often do you get to bring the fifth generation of a name into the world? Come on."

Cady blinks in surprise as she considers this. She looks down at the little burrito sound asleep in Janis' arms and considers this. "Charles Jacob Heron. The Fifth."

"Jacob," Janis murmurs. "You guys have too many Charles' already. We'll call him Jacob. Jakey."

"Jacob," Cady echoes. Janis gently brings him up to kiss his nose. His eyes flutter open as she brings him back down.

"Hi, baby boy," Janis greets with a smile.

"Hi Jacob," Cady echoes quietly, reaching around her wife to gently stroke his hair. "Happy birthday, handsome."

"Baby Jakey," Janis says. "You like your name?"

Jacob's response is an impossibly wide yawn. Cady and Janis laugh. "Goodness. Being born is hard work, huh?"

"He's such a Jacob," Janis says fondly as she kisses his forehead again and he's asleep once more. "Jakey suits him."

"It does," Cady admits. "You're sure about the name? My father hasn't-"

"I'm sure. Your father has made a lot of progress too. And we can always say we named him after Charlie instead."

"I'd have preferred Clifton," Cady chuckles. "But I guess you're right."

"What's Clif's middle name again?"

"Joseph."

Janis looks back at the baby and wrinkles her nose. She shakes her head. "Nah. He's not a Joey."

"He's a Jakey," Cady says with a smile. "What about our beautiful girl?"

Janis shifts her gaze to the other baby, and finds her awake. She gazes up at them with unfocused little eyes. "Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, sweet girl."

"They really do look so similar," Cady breathes. "Both their eyes are that color."

"What color is it?" Janis says quietly, tilting her head to look. "If I had two blonde, blue-eyed babies I'm going to scream."

"They look more grey to me," Cady says soothingly. "That's exactly what Elsie's eyes looked like when she was born, and they turned brown as she grew. I think they'll get darker."

"They'd better," Janis grumbles sarcastically. "God, she's cute."

"She is," Cady agrees. "Little stinker. You had to be all bendy in there, huh?"

Janis laughs as Cady gently tickles the baby's little chin. "She didn't have much room in there."

"That's true," Cady says. "You never told me that name."

"What name?"

"You said you had a name you really wanted if we had a girl, but you didn't want to tell me until we saw her and knew for sure if it fit her," Cady says. Janis tries to remember that conversation, and she laughs.

"How do you remember that? That was, like, four months ago," she responds. Cady shrugs.

"Naming our babies is important. It stuck out to me."

Janis looks at the baby. "Isla. I fell in love with you on that island that first Christmas."

"Isla," Cady breathes. "It's perfect. Hello, Isla."

"She's looking at you," Janis chuckles. Cady smiles and gently rubs the pad of her thumb up and down the bridge of the impossibly tiny nose. Isla's eyes flutter and it's not long before she's sound asleep. "What about her middle name? You should pick it. I chose all the rest."

"No, we chose together," Cady protests.

"From my suggestions."

"Yeah. That's fine."

"Cads," Janis insists. "Pick a damn name."

"Stop swearing in front of them!" Cady huffs.

Janis turns as best she can to glare at her. "We have, like, at least eight months before they can talk. One damn isn't gonna hurt them."

"You said fuck too," Cady grumbles. Janis laughs and groans at the pain it causes. Cady gently adjusts her wife and peers back at the tiny baby.

She barely has to look at the baby before a name comes to mind.

"Joy."

She can feel Janis smile as their cheeks are pressed together. "It's perfect."

"You think?" Cady asks shyly. Janis nods, and Cady can feel a few tears streaming down her cheek.

"Isla Joy," Janis whispers thickly. "It's beautiful."

"But you really think it suits her?" Cady asks worriedly.

"I think it's perfect for her," Janis nods.

"Really?"

"Caddy," Janis chuckles. "Trust me. Joy is a perfect middle name. I love it. She looks exactly like an Isla Joy. It's just right."

Cady smiles and kisses Janis' neck, looking at both their peacefully sleeping babies. "Isla Joy and Charles Jacob."

"The most precious babies there ever were."

———

Janis is totally dead to the world less than an hour later for a much deserved nap. Cady helpfully deposits the babies back in their... storage containers, she decides to call them, and lingers by her wife for a long time. Long after Janis is asleep, she's still gently tracing shapes on her bicep, murmuring thanks and love into her hair, peppering ghost-light kisses on her forehead.

Janis snuffles at the last one, and the one thing Cady does not want to do is wake her up. Carefully, she removes herself and leaves her wife to nap in peace, and goes to introduce herself to their babies instead.

"Hello, sweet babies," she croons softly as she scoops the tiny new little ones back into her arms and holds them properly, all by herself, for the very first time. "Hi. I'm your mama. Well, one of them. Your other mom is asleep right now. Isn't she beautiful?"

She wanders in circles around the room, pausing frequently to check on Janis or to look at the same view of the random field outside their window.

"I love you so much," she whispers down at the babies. "I've loved you from the moment I found out you existed, and now I finally get to hold you and see your sweet little faces."

She takes a shaky breath as delighted tears start streaming down her face.

"I might not make a very good mom. I definitely won't be perfect. But I promise you both I'm going to try so hard to make your lives amazing. And I'll always, always, love you both," she continues. "You two and your mother are the most precious things I've ever had, do you know that? I'm not going to risk letting anything happen to any of you. I'll keep all of you safe. I promise. And I'll love you your whole lives long."

She jumps as she turns around for another lap around the room and finds Janis awake, smiling at her with a few tears streaming down her face.

"Hi."

"Hi," Janis echoes. "How you doing, Mama?"

"I should be asking you that," Cady says, handing her their daughter while she keeps and smiles at their son.

"I'm fine, Cads. Do you have any idea the amount of drugs I still have coursing through me? I got, like, another good few hours before I really start feeling anything," Janis chuckles. "Ow, shit."

"Exactly," Cady huffs.

"I'm fine, though," Janis insists as she winces through adjusting her position.

"I can get you more meds if you need," Cady says, carefully putting the baby down to help her before she scoops him back up and cradles him close.

"I'm fine," Janis says for a third time. "I promise. Come love on these little munchkins with me."

Cady smiles and sits in a chair next to Janis' bed. "His eyes are so big. And he's got such long eyelashes already. And those chubby baby cheeks."

"They're only gonna get chubbier," Janis says happily. "She has the cutest little ears."

"He does too," Cady smiles. Jacob wraps his tiny hand around her finger, and she kisses the tips of each tiny baby finger. "And his hands are so small."

"Their nails are so tiny," Janis says. Cady nods.

"I can't believe they're actual people. They're so small, there's no way a whole human can fit inside there," she says absently. Janis laughs and groans again.

"Somehow. I'm not sure either," she says. "I'm still not sure how they both fit in me."

"I'm not either. No wonder you've been so sick, your body must have done a whole lot of rearranging to make room."

"You're telling me," Janis hums. "But it was worth it, huh Isla?"

"Now everyone gets to recover," Cady tells Jacob. He blinks at her. "Yeah. You're gonna stay here for a few days, and then Mommy and I get to take you home to rest. And you're gonna barf and poop all over us and scream your little head off at us, and we're still gonna love you! Isn't that wild?"

"Stop making me laugh," Janis groans from the bed. Cady smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," she says. She hands Isla back and smiles as she sees her little family all together. "You're so sweet with them already."

"I'm terrified, Janis," Cady whispers, staring into their son's unfocused little grey eyes. "They're so perfect. I can't mess them up."

"We won't," Janis promises. "We have each other."

"But they're... they're like the first snowfall, right now. I can't be the one to mess that up. I don't want to be the first footprint in it," Cady continues desperately.

"We can't help making mistakes. But I know how much you love them, babe, we're gonna do okay. I can't promise we won't fuck them up somehow, but I know we'll do everything we can not to and everything we can to fix it. You've already done so much for them. You took incredible care of me through my whole pregnancy, and you still are. We're gonna figure this out together."

"Together," Cady breathes shakily.

"Always together," Janis promises. "Especially because if you ditch me with these two now I will sue your ass so hard."

Cady laughs. "No, never. You're never ever getting rid of me. I might be one of those mothers who tries to move into the college dorm with her kids."

"Your mom didn't-"

"Of course not, she didn't even know where I was," Cady hums. She looks down to explain to the babies.  "I'm talking about your Nana. She won't treat you that way, I promise. She's done a lot of work on herself. She's already bought you two tons of presents. She can't wait to meet you."

"Oh, shit," Janis says.

"Stop swearing!"

"You're just gonna have to learn to live with it, babes," Janis says with a smile. "We gotta call Damian. I forgot to tell him. Again."

"Yay!" Cady squeals. She looks down at the babies again. "Are you two ready for the loudest phone call of your life? I hope so."

Janis can't help but laugh again, keeping a hand on her pained stomach. They get the four of them situated together on the hospital bed, the babies face-to-face in each of their arms, and Janis holds the phone facing the sleeping babes as the call connects.

As expected, Damian's answer is a shriek as soon as he processes what he's seeing. Janis smiles and turns the camera around to face herself and Cady.

"Those are babies!" he says.

"No shit," Janis says.

"Hey!" Cady insists.

"Hi Caddy!" Damian says eagerly.

Cady laughs. "Hi Dame. Surprise!"

"They're so cute," Damian coos as Janis puts the camera back on the twins. "Oh, they look just like you, Cads."

"They might have Janis' eyes," Cady explains eagerly. "Aren't they perfect?"

"Yes," Damian coos.

"This is our little boy. Charles Jacob, after Caddy's dad. But we're calling him Jacob," Janis says proudly.

"You had a boy?!" Damian squeals.

"We did! We had one of each," Cady confirms. Damian shrieks again.

"Oh my god! Oh, how perfect! Look at them, oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god! What's your girl's name?"

"Isla," Cady says with a smile. "Isla Joy."

"Jacob and Isla," Damian says, testing out the names. "Excellent. They sound like rich people names but not pretentious."

"Perfect," Janis chuckles.

"Have the media hounds swarmed you yet?"

"The media hounds don't know we scheduled a C-section for today. But I'm sure they'll be filling the parking lot before too long," Janis sighs. Cady leans into her comfortingly.

"It'll be okay," she murmurs. "I'll protect you."

"Aww," Damian coos. Cady blushes as she remembers he can, in fact, hear them. Janis leans in for a kiss and elicits yet another shriek from their friend. "It's too cuuuute! I can't stand it!"

"Hang up then, coward," Janis says, like she hasn't just had the softest moment possible with her wife and newborn babies.

"Hey!"

"Janis!" Cady scolds.

"What? I just had two babies cut out of my gut, I get a free day to say whatever I want," Janis hums. Cady shrugs.

"I suppose that's fair," she says. "Sorry Damian."

"It's fine. Lemme see them again," Damian insists. Janis chuckles and obliges, allowing their friend to coo over his niece and nephew for as long as he wants. They stay on the call for almost three hours, talking about the babies and them and everything in between.

"You're still coming for Thanksgiving?" Janis asks before they hang up.

"Yes! And if you try to do a single goddamn thing I swear to god I will drag you through the town square and throw you in the river," Damian says. "Bye. Love you."

"Love you too, D," Janis chuckles. She hangs up and flops back against the pillows with a sigh. "What a day."

"A good day," Cady says.

"The best day," Janis agrees, handing Isla to her and cuddling into her side.

"Get some rest, my love," Cady murmurs, bending at a strange angle to kiss her forehead. "We'll wait for you."

Janis yawns and smiles. "I love you."

"I love you too."

—————

They're all released from the hospital three days later. Cady carefully carries the babies out the doors of the hospital in their top-of-the-line car seats while a nurse wheels Janis behind them. Janis gets in the car first, and then Cady struggles through trying to get the car seats in place for the first time with babies inside.

After a solid hour, the seats are both snapped in where they go, and Cady gets to drive her family home.

They have a crazy first month trying to adjust to having twin newborns. Damian comes and provides them with an excellent but unbelievably chaotic Thanksgiving, and stays for a week afterwards to help them handle everything. Even with a maid and a chef hired on so they could focus almost exclusively on the babies and themselves, it's still unbelievably hard.

Cady is adamant about the two of them being the only ones to raise their babies and absolutely refuses a night doula. She drags both bassinets over to her side of the bed and declares she'll handle all the nighttime bottles and diaper changes. Janis is only woken up when one of the babies is truly desperate for some snuggles from their mommy. Otherwise Cady insists she get plenty of rest and time to heal. Janis doesn't complain.

—-

A week after the twins' one-month birthday, they brave the outside world for the first time. It's Christmas time, and time to take the babies to the annual Christmas celebrations hosted by Cady's parents in one of the Heron Enterprises hotels. Luckily, this year's is close to home, and they only have a few hours' drive instead of an international flight.

Cady smiles as they cross the threshold, and Janis sighs. She's only been out of the hospital for a month. Traveling is hard on her body.

Cady carries the babies in and gently sets them down before she turns to her wife. "You wanna go nap?"

Janis nods. "But they'll want to meet the babies."

"And they'll have plenty of time to," Cady soothes. "Let's go get settled in."

She can see the relief on Janis' face as they head to the elevators instead of right in to greet everyone.

"You feeling okay, baby?" Cady asks, gently cupping Janis' cheek. Janis smiles softly and nods.

"I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?" Cady insists. Janis nods again and takes her hand off her face to hold it instead.

"Promise. Cross my heart and whatnot," she says. Cady smiles and leans in for a kiss.

They both jump the slightest bit when the elevator dings, and freeze when they hear someone inside sigh. The doors open, and out comes Madeleine. She seems rather shocked to see them there. "Hi. I was never here, I saw nothing."

"You don't have to do that, Maddie," Cady chuckles. "Come up with us, you can meet the twins."

Madeleine looks to Janis. Janis smiles and nods, to which her sister-in-law squeals and wraps her in a gentle hug. Cady picks the babies' car seats back up and they all go into the elevator together.

"How are you feeling, Janis? You look incredible, absolutely unfair," Madeleine says, pointedly not looking at the babies so she gets the surprise properly. Janis laughs and winces a bit.

"As well as I can be," she replies, resting a hand over her healing incision. "Considering Cady was positive I'd die on the table."

"Your intestines were outside your body! You need those!" Cady insists frantically. Madeleine laughs.

"I'll make her go easy on you while we're here," she tells Janis. Janis smiles at Cady.

"No need," she says softly. "She barely lets me do anything now."

"Because you need to rest," Cady says.

"They're a month old and you're already spoiling them," Janis chuckles.

"All the siblings do, I think it's genetic," Madeleine chuckles. "When Lennox was little his feet never touched the ground. Callum absolutely refused to let him go."

"How is he sixteen?" Cady sighs sadly.

"He was born sixteen years ago," Janis replies. Cady rolls her eyes lovingly at her.

"I know that. But I still remember holding him in the hospital," Cady says.

"And now you have your own little ones," Madeleine smiles. The elevator reaches the right floor, so everyone trails out and down the hall to their room. "Now let me at 'em."

Cady rests both seats on the bed and carefully undoes their buckles. "Who do you want?"

"Both!" Madeleine says as if it's entirely obvious. Janis laughs and picks up Jacob, so Cady gets Isla out.

"This is Jakey," Janis says as she gently hands him to his aunt. "Jacob. And that's Isla."

"How beautiful," Madeleine coos. "God, I miss babies. These two are dangerous."

"Maddie, you had four, that's plenty," Cady chuckles.

"But mine are all big now. These two are still in the smushy little baby stage," Madeleine sighs.

Janis chuckles and gets herself comfortable in bed. Cady leaves Madeleine to coo over the gingerbread man-patterned onesies the twins have on while she sees to her wife. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Do you want to stay?" Janis replies. Cady pauses and considers this. As soon as she's downstairs, she'll be bombarded with questions about Janis and the babies. Part of her wants to go so Janis doesn't have to deal with that on top of healing and struggling through keeping twin babies alive. But the rest of her is just very tired.

"Yes... please. Is that okay? That leaves you with more to handle," she says anxiously. Janis chuckles and scoots over to make room for her to nap too.

"That's just fine. We'll do it together," Janis whispers. Cady nods and cuddles into her.

They're long asleep by the time Maddie gently rests the babies in their cribs and tiptoes out the door.

—-

A few hours later, they enter the foyer hand in hand with babies in arms. You'd think Jesus himself had just walked into the room.

Everyone turns to look, everyone gasps and starts chattering all at once, everyone rushes up and starts coming over the little ones, touching their hands and little cheeks and asking if they can hold them.

They both say yes and watch anxiously as their twins are passed from relative to relative. Cady swoops in to follow one around as Hazel, Charlie and Violeta's surprise daughter and the youngest of the kids (until now) at just seven years old peeks over her big brother Henry's shoulder and asks if she can hold baby Jacob.

Janis bites her lip as a ten-year-old Naomi and her nine-year-old brother Zacharias fight over Isla. The fight is broken up by Cady's mother, who takes the baby and kisses her before Janis can get a single word in about not doing that, please and thank you. She starting to get dizzy, looking desperately back and forth between both of her babies and trying to keep track of where they are. Isla's with her Nana- no, now Fiona has her. Now Jacob's with Hazel and Isla's been moved to Lana and-

"Hey, are you okay?"

Janis jumps and looks to see Madeleine next to her. Janis blinks back tears and shakes her head. Madeleine frowns in concern and takes a step closer so nobody can overhear them.

"What's the matter?"

"I need them back," Janis chokes. "I-I... I..."

"Say no more. Leave it to me," Madeleine says. Janis watches through teary eyes as she swoops around the room and returns with her wife and a baby, then sends the two of them out of the room and meets them in the hall with the other.

"Thank you," Janis sobs quietly as she finally has both her little ones back in her arms.

"Baby, what happened?" Cady asks in concern, cupping Janis' face with a hand and brushing the tears from her cheek with a gentle swipe of her thumb.

"I don't know," Janis sobs. "I just... there's so-so many people, and-and... I couldn't see them both and-and-and... I don't know!"

Madeleine gently wraps an arm around her shoulders and rubs her arm soothingly. "Cads, do you remember that time when Lennox was a baby and I had a panic attack because I couldn't find him? And it turned out you just had him in the bathroom and were trying to give him pigtails?"

"Yeah," Cady says in confusion. "Why?"

"This is that," Madeleine replies. "But worse."

Janis somehow hasn't heard that story before and releases a strangled sort of half-sob-half-laugh. "I... I trust ev-everyone, but I-I-I panic every time they're out of-of my sight, and-and I couldn't see-see them at the same time, and I-I just... I don't know."

"You don't have to explain, my love," Cady hushes. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think about how overwhelming that would've been for you."

"It's okay," Janis sniffs, leaning into her.

"You take your time. I'll go make something up, come back in when you're ready. Cady will make sure this happens on terms you're okay with," Madeleine says comfortingly.

"Thanks, Maddie," Janis sniffles again. "Did Lenny ever get his pigtails?"

Madeleine smiles. "He called her Auntie Piggies until he was four."

"He liked them!" Cady defends.

"Tell that to Fiona. Your next victim," Madeleine chuckles. She heads back into the room, leaving Cady, Janis, and the twins alone in the hall. Cady looks at the little ones still asleep and curled up in Janis' arms, and Janis' chest shaking as she tries to calm down.

"Come here," Cady coaxes gently. Janis sniffles and follows her down the hall to the parlor. Cady sits on one of the sofas that's there more for decoration than actually to be sat on, and Janis sits next to her. "Are you alright, love?"

Janis nods, but she doesn't say anything. She keeps her eyes firmly on the babies and firmly off her wife.

"No, you're not," Cady insists with a furrowed brow. "Talk to me. Please."

Janis looks up at her, her eyes watering again. "I'm sorry."

"No, honey," Cady says desperately.

“I'm sorry," Janis repeats. Cady watches in concern as she starts sobbing again.

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for," Cady murmurs. "I just need to know what's been going on. I need to know how I can help, that's all."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Janis sobs quietly. "I-I didn't know how, and everything just... it just..."

"I know," Cady hushes. "Will you tell me now? Or try? I'm your wife, you don't have to justify yourself to me. Just tell me how you're feeling."

"I don't even know," Janis chokes. Cady shifts off the couch and crouches in front of her, squeezing Janis' hands and looking deep into her eyes.

"Just try, please?"

Janis sighs and takes a long time to collect herself. Cady just squeezes her hands and lets her. Janis takes a deep breath before she begins, "I-I don't know what's wrong with me."

Cady frowns as she sees tears welling in her eyes yet again. "Nothing, baby, absolutely nothing is wrong with you."

"I can't... I can't breathe when they're out of my sight," Janis whispers. "Every time, even if you have them and I know they're okay, I just... I... I get so freaked out worrying about if they're still breathing or if they're hungry or hot or sick or even if they're just... I don't know, itchy, or something. I... I know in my head that they're fine, but I always just run through the worst-case scenarios and I just get myself even more worked up, and..."

She trails off, but Cady doesn't need to hear anything more. "How long?"

"Hm?"

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Cady asks. Janis is quiet again.

"...Since we found out she was breech."

It's Cady's turn to be quiet. "Three months?"

"I-I guess, yeah," Janis sniffles.

"Three months?!" Cady repeats. "You've been suffering like this for three months and you didn't tell me? Why?! Why wouldn't you-"

"I didn't know how!" Janis says pleadingly.

"I could've done something so much sooner if I had known-"

"What was I supposed to say? That I turn into a neurotic, jittery, anxious pile of garbage on the brink of a heart attack every time I blink?!"

"Yes!" Cady insists. "Yes, you were! Because then we could've had this conversation before bringing them to meet my entire family and I could've understood before you had a panic attack! And I could've put together that you've clearly been suffering from postpartum anxiety much sooner and gotten you the proper help for it!"

Janis looks down again. Cady takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that. This shouldn't be an argument."

Janis shakes her head. "It's my fault."

"No, baby, it isn't," Cady insists, shifting to hold Janis' face instead. "You've been struggling, and you didn't have the words to let me know. I wish you had tried anyway, but... this has already happened. All we can do is go forward. And going forward, I need you to tell me when things aren't right, please. Even if you can't figure out how, just tell me something is wrong and we'll figure out what it is together, okay? I hate seeing you so upset."

"I should've told you sooner. I knew this would happen."

"Maybe, but there's nothing to be done about it now. I know now, and I can help."

Janis nods her head to signal she wants Cady next to her again. Cady sits down, and Janis leans into her. "I need help."

"I know," Cady whispers.

"Finding out that she was breech hit me harder than I thought it did. And knowing there was always a chance with the way she was positioned that something could've gone wrong and they'd miss it. I-I wanted to be a chill mom, and I thought I was, but it just turned my world upside-down and I haven't gotten back. I just feel that... loss of knowing, I guess. Of control. And I'm terrified every time I can't see for myself that they're okay that they're actually... not. Even if they were a second before."

Cady lets a few of her own tears slip into Janis' hair. "I'm so sorry, my love. I should've noticed."

Janis chuckles softly. "You've been mighty sleep deprived."

"Is that why you've been so insistent on helping with their night feedings?"

Janis shakes her head. "That's because I'm worried about you. I still get it when they're with you, but not anywhere near as strong as when they're just in their cots or whatever."

"Or with other people?"

"Apparently," Janis sighs.

"I'm getting you a therapist," Cady says softly. "That's a non-negotiable."

Janis nods. "Okay."

"I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Janis asks, looking up at her.

"I can't believe I didn't see how much you've been struggling," Cady says. "I should've noticed."

"Don't beat yourself up about it," Janis says softly, tucking back into her. "I kinda made sure you didn't."

"Don't ever do it again," Cady begs. "Please. I want to know. I want to help."

Janis nods. "I won't."

They both look down when they feel a wiggle, and see Jacob wriggling crankily before he releases a shrill cry. "Oh, pumpkin."

Janis carefully adjusts him to check her watch. "It is lunch time, huh?"

"I'll get their bottles," Cady says. "Gimme this one. Practice."

Janis chuckles as she passes Isla to her wife and smiles at them together. Cady gently scoops Isla beneath the shoulders and kisses her nose before cradling her in her arm. Janis sees to hushing Jacob and waiting for them to return.

Cady carries Isla into the kitchen to prepare the twins' bottles. Janis tries not to laugh as she hears Cady talking to the baby. Hearing the woman who talks like she's straight out of a Dickens novel cooing, "Hello, my sweet little princess babykins, are you ready for a baba? Are you hungry? Yeah? My sweet widdle pumpyumpykins. Let's get your baba." in a ridiculously high pitch is comical in a way few can describe.

After about five minutes and the terrible, deafening sounds of the bottle machines going off, Cady returns with their daughter and two bottles to feed them.

“He back to sleep?" she asks when she sees Janis gently rocking their son. Janis nods with a soft smile and gently strokes one of his chubby cheeks with the back of her index finger. "Good."

"How's our pumpyumpykins?" Janis asks with a small giggle. Cady flushes a remarkable shade of scarlet and looks down at the baby with a whine.

"You heard that?"

Janis nods and giggles again as she slowly stands and heads over to her. "Yeah, I did. But I think it's cute."

"I can't help it," Cady whines. "They're both so precious."

"I do it too," Janis chuckles. "It's just funny when you do."

"It is? Why?" Cady asks, tilting her head like a confused puppy.

"Because most of the time you have a transatlantic accent and use words like shan't and chauffeur and legality and clams."

Cady laughs outright at that. "Clams?"

"Hey, I'd never had one before I met you, far as I'm concerned they're a fancy food," Janis chuckles. She kisses Cady's forehead, and Cady smiles up at her.

“I love you," Cady says.

"I love you too," Janis replies. She doesn't quite know where that came from, but she'll always say it.

"Are you ready to go back in? We can just call it if you're not. I'll handle everything," Cady asks gently.

Janis inhales heavily and looks between the babies. She wants to go back in, wants everyone to have their proper chance to meet their grandchildren and niece and nephew and cousins, but her body is still tense and her mind is still racing. Cady notices her hesitation and takes her hand again.

"What if we did one at a time? You can keep your eyes on the one being held and keep the other with you," she suggests. "We can give Isla her bottle now and wait a bit on Jakey, since he's asleep. And you can just say you want to feed and burp him yourself. And by the time he's done everyone will probably have finished with her and we can swap them."

Janis considers this, and she nods. "That would be great."

"And I'll mention not kissing them again," Cady promises. "Just to be safe."

"Thank you," Janis whispers, kissing her wife soundly. Cady just smiles into it and kisses her back.

They linger on the bench outside while Cady gives Isla her bottle and they both have a chance to coo over and focus on her. Janis braces as she swallows the last of her milk away and Cady props her up to be burped.

"Ready?" she asks when Isla's all situated. Janis nods, and they head back into the living room where everyone is waiting.

Janis was expecting people to stare, ask questions, have noticed what happened, but nobody seems to. Whether they're pretending or genuinely just absorbed in their own conversations, Janis is relieved.

One person did notice, however. Hazel comes up to the two of them looking very sheepish. She quietly says, "I'm sorry I held the baby. I saw you crying."

Janis frowns. "No, kiddo, it wasn't your fault. You guys just looked so sweet together I got emotional. And the babies needed their lunch, so we just went to get that, see?"

She gestures vaguely with Jacob as he's eating his bottle. Janis smiles down at her son as he makes a little coo around it that sounds vaguely affirmative.

"See? He says he's okay too," Janis comforts.

"Oh," Hazel says, visibly brightening.

"Would you like to meet Isla?" Cady asks with a smile. Hazel bounces up and down rapidly and nods. "Go sit down."

Hazel runs back to her brothers on the sofa and plops herself down, eagerly holding out her hands. Janis watches Cady prop her arms with pillows before she ever so gently lays their sleeping little girl in her cousin's arms.

"Remember not to kiss them, please," Cady says softly. Hazel nods and looks down at her other new baby cousin.

"They look the same," Hazel says, making sure to be quiet. Cady laughs softly.

"They do. Auntie Janis and I weren't sure how similar they'd look, but sometimes even we have a hard time telling them apart," she says.

For all her loud and bold personality, Hazel is remarkably still and quiet as she holds and looks at the baby. "Would she fit in my baby doll clothes?"

"Maybe," Cady giggles. "If it's a very big baby doll."

Hazel considers this and shakes her head. "It's small."

Cady chuckles and continues watching like a hawk. Isla just snoozes, and Hazel just watches.

"Can I kiss her on her foot?" she asks after a while. Cady looks to Janis. Janis chuckles and nods.

"Go ahead," Cady says. Hazel happily picks up Isla's leg and carefully kisses the bottom of her tiny foot. She smiles contently and gently pats the baby for good measure.

She stays there a while longer before she asks, "Can I go play now?"

Cady laughs and gently removes the baby from her lap. "Of course. Go have fun."

"Bye!" Hazel says to the baby in a quiet but eager voice before she runs off to try to cajole Zacharias into playing with her. Cady carefully hands Isla to the next relative wanting to meet her, her brother Clifton, and smiles proudly as she stands protectively nearby. Janis smiles faintly from her spot nestled in the couch as their son finishes off his bottle and she props him up to burp him.

Surprisingly, nobody tries to take him. Hannah sits down next to them and coos over him for a bit, and Janis happily lets her hold him while keeping a sharp watch on their daughter. After about the fifth check in, she realizes her wife has everything handled. Isla is safe.

Before too long, everyone's met and held both babies at least once. Introductions have been made, uncles have been pooped on, big yawns have been tossed around at aunties, and many a stretch has happened in the arms of grandparents.

"You're gonna get a lot of loving from all those people," Cady informs the babies as they're in the elevator on the way back up to their room to prepare for dinner. "That went well, I think."

"It did," Janis agrees. "Other than me having a panic attack."

"Of course, other than that," Cady says hastily. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Janis promises.

"Good," Cady says. "Let's skip dinner."

"What?"

"We've already seen everyone, they can live without us for one night," Cady insists.

"But it's Christmas Eve," Janis says, frowning in confusion. "Don't you wanna spend it with your family?"

"That is exactly what I want," Cady whispers, gently pressing her against the wall for a kiss once they're on their floor and being very careful not to squish the babies between them. "Let's have our dinner sent up and snuggle our babies in bed and watch Christmas movies."

"That sounds amazing," Janis whispers against her lips. Cady kisses her once more before leading her back to their room to get cozy in their huge bed.

—-

"These movies are so unrealistic," Janis huffs at their third Hallmark movie. "There's no way a princess would just ask some schmuck into her palace like that!"

Cady looks between her, herself, their babies, back to her, around the room, and back to her.

"Shut up. I'm not a schmuck."

"I never said you were!" Cady laughs. "I do think you're right, though. We must be an anomaly."

"Not everyone gets knocked on their ass by a hot billionaire," Janis agrees. Cady giggles against her shoulder.

During the Muppet Christmas Carol, Janis feels Cady's head shift to peek down at the babies, as they sleep side-by-side in a special basket all bundled up together. Jacob's forehead rests just against Isla's cheek, and their arms are as linked as newborn babies can manage. Cady whispers, "They're so precious."

Janis looks down at their little ones and smiles. "Yeah, they are."

"You made these," Cady continues softly, gently adjusting Jacob's Santa onesie away from his neck and ever so gently patting his belly.

"I made them out of you," Janis hums contently. "Those little button noses are all yours, and their lips, and their ears. And their skin is really fair, so they'll probably get a few freckles as they grow. And their hair is yours, and their eyebrows."

"I think they'll have your eyes, though," Cady says happily. "Pretty brown. And I think they have your lips, not mine."

"Really?" Janis asks. Cady nods happily. Janis chuckles and noses into her hair. "Maybe."

"Definitely," Cady says. She's quiet for a moment before she softly says, "I've been a billionaire all my life. My play jewelry when I was a kid had real gold and gems. And these are still the most precious things I've ever had in my life."

Janis smiles even wider and kisses Cady wherever she can reach. "Good thing you get to keep 'em, then."

She can feel Cady smile, and Cady shifts to ever so gently straddle her at her hips. She takes special care not to aggravate Janis' still healing belly and gently leans down, cups her face between her hands, and kisses her soundly. "Thank you."

"For what?" Janis gasps in between kisses.

"Them. You," Cady replies, kissing her hard again. "Everything. You're just as precious to me as they are. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. The best thing I ever ran over on the sidewalk."

"So you admit you ran me over now, hm?" Janis laughs, threading her fingers through Cady's hair and smiling into a much more gentle kiss.

"You carried my twins for almost nine months, it's kind of the least I can do," Cady replies haughtily. Janis chuckles again and pulls her down harder against her. Cady happily leans in and kisses her again, and again, and again.

"I love you," Janis whispers when they take a pause to breathe.

"I love you," Cady echoes. They both turn their heads to the side when they hear a sort of squawk, and find Isla wriggling crankily before she lets out a shrill cry. Cady pouts and quickly scoots off of Janis to scoop her up before she can wake Jacob. "Oh, pumpkin, what happened, hm? We love you too, you know, you don't have to be so sad! Oh, what's the matter, come here. Mama has you, you're alright."

"You're so good with them," Janis murmurs, leaning into Cady's shoulder as she carefully cradles the baby's neck and tucks her into her chest. Janis strokes her fingers up and down the baby's back to help soothe her as Cady gently pats her little bum and hushes her.

Cady chuckles like she doesn't believe her and shakes her head.

"You are," Janis insists. "Look how quick you got her calmed down."

Isla gives a couple more half-hearted wails before she changes her mind and contents herself with being held. Cady smiles and pulls her back a bit to see her little face. "There we go, hi, baby. You just needed a little love, huh?"

"You just needed to hang out with Mama for a second, hm? Mama makes it all better," Janis coos. Isla coos back. "Yeah. She's the best, isn't she?"

"Nooo," Cady hums at the baby, holding her close again to kiss her cheek before she passes her to Janis. "Your mommy is the best. Yeah, there you go!"

Janis adjusts the lot of them, so Cady is half-sitting against the headboard, Janis is reclined with her back against Cady's chest, and Isla is carefully propped into a sit against Janis' bent legs. Janis holds her hands to keep her steady and makes sure the baby doesn't really have to hold up her own head all that much. It's hard work when you're only a month old.

"Hi, pretty girl," Janis coos when they're all settled. She gently combs a hand through Isla's little tuft of strawberry blonde hair. "Did you have a good nap with bubby? Yeah? Good sleep?"

Cady smiles and rests her head on Janis' shoulder. "Hi pumpkin. Sweet baby girl."

Each of them take turns cooing over their daughter, both of them already knowing one-on-one time with either of their babies will become a progressively more rare commodity. Jacob is perfectly content to continue his snooze by himself in the basket for now.

Isla's still-unfocused little gaze gradually shifts back and forth between her mothers, and she makes little happy grunts every now and again in response to their adoring words being poured over her.

After about their fifth turn each, it's back to Cady again. "Our little munchkin, look at you! Don't you look so sweet in your Christmas jammies, huh? Yeah, you do! Our pretty little sweet baby girl. Mama loves you so much."

They both gasp softly as Isla's little lips twitch and her face splits into her first-ever real smile.   Cady starts crying, and Janis feels a few tears slip down her cheeks too. "Look at that pretty smile!"

"That's a very good smile," Cady agrees tearfully. "Jay, she smiled at us."

"That she did," Janis agrees with a sniffle. She gently tickles under Isla's chin to see if she'll do it again, and they both giggle as she smiles at them again. "Yeah! Oh, we love that smile."

"So much," Cady hums. "We love that whole little smushy baby."

"Her first smile," Janis hums with one of her own.

"She's so beautiful," Cady sniffles. "Both of them are. I love them so much. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Janis echoes. She scoops the baby up higher and kisses her nose. "And you." She leans down carefully to kiss Jacob's cheek, causing him to give a little twitch in his sleep. Cady and Janis both giggle. "And you."

"Merry Christmas, my love," Cady says quietly. "Thank you for the best presents ever."

"Merry Christmas, baby," Janis replies. "And Merry Christmas, babies."

—————

tadaaaa i hope you enjoyed!!

tbh the only reason these two are twins is because i couldn't pick who i wanted to be older so i did a little fun thing with that lol. and also some of you may notice the babies did not in fact exit janis' vagina as i said in the last chapter of this series and the reason for that is i changed my gotdang mind. this'll probably be the last time we see these versions of them, at least for a while. it's been fun getting to play around so much with an au but we'll be back to your regularly scheduled cadnis in the new year (finally with picking teams again too aaah!) i also want to thank you all for being so patient with me this year. i'm painfully aware i haven't posted very much, but thank you all so much for all the love on what i have been able to put up. this year has been incredibly painful for me. people i'm close with have passed away, my works have been stolen, and my disability and mental health have gotten worse on top of it all. unfortunately that makes writing really hard, but seeing all your comments and hits and reactions have been the shining lights through it all. thank you <33 thank you all so much again for all your love and support this year. thanks for sticking with me :)) i hope your christmas was merry if you celebrate and if not i hope your day was amazing. see y'all in 2024 <3 lots of love, ezzy

[hehe-hoho-ohno]

Some thoughts on the recent Pokémon Masters event under the cut!

I haven't done too much poking around yet, so some of this has probably already been said but whatever.

I really enjoyed the event! It was fun :)

Low-key wish they had given Irida the win of them both being right. Sure, the time-travel is more notable, but they did travel through space too. That was very much also what happened.

Especially considering that Pasio is a man-made island, it would have been nice to hear what Irida thought of that

No addressing the Ingo situation. Disappointed but not surprised.

I'm still hopeful though! They probably wanted to leave that can of worms for when/if Warden Ingo gets added

And there is good reason to think they're planning on more Hisui centric events, they left a lot of clear sequel hooks, especially the last part about the distortions not disapating completely.

There was also the whole Cynthia thing. They're probably saving the actual meeting for Volo's introduction.

There was a lot of emphasis on how many Hisui characters look like modern characters, which was interesting

Even more interesting, it seems like Pokemas is team "Dawn and Lucas are different people from Rei and Akari"

Which does raise some interesting questions about who the skyfaller is, if not one of them. And why the four of them all look alike.

I know pokemas isn't cannon, and it's a bit of an obvious point for most of them, but it would be nice to get some confirmation on who is who's ancestor

This is a bit of a stretch, but it would be very funny if Irida or Adaman came across Emmet and/or Ingo and then just brushed it off as just another "weirdly similar looking guy to other people we know" and thought nothing more of it

"There were some people who went through what we are now." - Irida, taking about her and Adaman getting ebbie-debbied to the future

"Apparently, they suddenly fell from the sky one day." - Adaman, following up on that

Interesting use of plural. The protagonist and Ingo? It would be really neat if we got confirmation that he came from a space-time distortion and not a wormhole or any of the other theories. (Again, aware that pokemas isn't strictly cannon but it's kind of as good as we're getting)

[daemondaes]

name: che

height: 5'3-ish. close enough to average. i can reach the top shelf, and at the end of the day, that's what matters.

nickname / s: chebureki, chechival, cheeble, chevalier, jam.

nationality: californian. 😎

favourite fruit: peach. 🥹🙏 strawberry is second. grape is third.

favourite season: spring? the benefits of summer hours with less of the summer heat. fall is nicer for layering tho

favourite scents: gasoline, bread, vanilla, citrus, books.

favourite animals: baby hippos (only baby), small dogs (esp chihuahuas), cows.

tea, coffee, hot cocoa: green tea, or else coffee with milk and, if i've been good, a sprinkle of cocoa powder.

average hours of sleep: uh. probably like 4-5 if i have to be somewhere in the morning, 8-10 if i don't.

when my blog was created: this incarnation? my earliest post was apparently 23 may 2020, so we're coming up on that 4 year anniversary 😏 but the first standalone cherry blog was from 2016? the oldest muse on here to originate on tumblr (ciel) emerged in late 2011. the oldest oldest muse on here originated off-tumblr in like 2008/9 on gaiaonline (talking abt u, naux).

# of followers: i normally wouldn't answer this, but i will tell u now that it is 365 just because that's such a satisfying number? got a buddy here for every day of the year 😎 that's a lie tho bc the number is broken and doesn't really fluctuate no matter how many people i gain or lose LOL i'm pretty sure like 4/5 people on the list are inactive tho, so please help me make more friends

random fact: my bedroom is ridiculously girly, soft pinks and pale greys and whites with gold accents, loads of pillows and plushes and decorative doodads, but i myself dress almost entirely in black. it's a little like putting wednesday in enid's room. not quite sure what that says about me.

favourite food: the humble tuna sandwich. i'm counting lemonade as a food here, just so i can add it in. i like lemonade even more than i like tuna.

favourite t.v. shows: flcl, dead boy detectives, good omens, i love lucy, king of the hill, the simpsons, lupin iii.

favourite movie: my letterboxd top 4 are some like it hot (1959), ghostbusters (1984), mad max: fury road (2015), and back to the future (1985)...but if i could have a fifth, it would be austin powers (1997).

sexuality: i like girls a lot more than i like guys, but i'm too busy and too broke to even think about that 😤

pronouns : she/they/any? idc abt labels and boxes, but it's weird that u're talking about me when i'm not there /:

favourite book series: howard the duck 😏 did you think i'd really make it to the end of this without mentioning him? this is also my chance to plug fly by night by frances hardinge, and its sequel, fly trap (or twilight robbery in the UK). there's also the monster blood tattoo trilogy by d.m. cornish that i desperately wish i'd held on to because it's apparently out of print now! my blood boils every time i remember. it would be remiss if i didn't mention a series of unfortunate events, just because i do think it was very influential for me. i'm about to reread the saga of darren shan/cirque du freak for the first time since middle school, so wish me luck 😤

favourite video game/s: god, fuckin...idk, tetris? roblox??? i'm not a gamer at all. i can't play anything unless i'm playing with a friend. that's a lie, i played baldgate3. the only thing i play is the sims 4. i'm trash

favourite subject: [scuttles around on all fours, twitching and foaming at the mouth] school bad! school BAD! (my three passions are history and fashion and film, but i don't love the academic system. Cs get degrees, etc. my own degree was in creative writing, and now i'm trapped in retail hell, so be smarter than me, kids! except also i hear even stem is useless these days? society is crumbling so bad, i—)

guys or girls: i prefer drawing guy faces and girl bodies. idk what u're getting at here

last time I cried: last night, conveniently

what I should be doing: taking out the trash, cooking up curry, cleaning the bathroom, polishing my spanish and diving into mandarin, writing, drawing, job hunting. continuing my goal of watching 365 movies this year. sweeping up the feathers of my cockatiel, galileo, because it's Moltin' Time. the usual 🤷‍♀️

favourite fandoms: i actually don't participate in fandom LOL i just lurk. chat about stuff in discord—DMs, not servers. i have so much art and music in my head, but i don't have the mobile dexterity and stamina for it anymore. maybe one day...

tagged by: @hatchetsfield (thanks, pidge!) tagging: anyone who learned a thing about me from this

[sirsagrell]

So I literally created this account just to read people yelling about Veilguard on this website, and I'm predictably getting sucked into participating.

Disclaimer: I've always been the "it's good enough to hook me hard, but now I have to mentally rewrite the story in my head to really enjoy it" BioWare fan. I'm self-aware enough to realize, that when I think something should have been done a certain way to do justice to the story told so far, that story told so far may not have been there in the games that BioWare actually made.

I will, as such, try to stick to the Dragon Age that exists and not the one in my head, when writing about Veilguard. Will I succeed? No idea.

With that out of the way:

There is a lot of valid criticism going around about the sanitized/whitewashed/shallowly inoffensive writing. I agree with a large portion of it, and don't have much to add. A lot of the writing fell flat in a lot of the ways it never did in BioWare games before. Not all of it, though. There were moments of brilliance here and there.

But I think my actual main problem with this game boils down to something that isn't talked about much in the critiques that I read.

Specifically, that Veilguard should have been the ending of this series.

But instead, they tried to make Dragon Age yet another one of those fictional universes that they wouldn't fucking let go of.

I think it is very important to let stories end. It is very important to let go of entire settings, especially the most beloved ones. Because if you don't, they fossilize under the requirements of nostalgia and the need to stay recognizable and quickly turn into this hopeless cycle of increasingly warped self-repetition where everything always comes back to the status quo and engaging with the setting in any way leaves a taste of existential dread in your mouth.

(I'm looking at you, Star Wars. I will insist that KOTOR II was the best thing ever written in that setting because it broke the fourth wall, pointed a finger at this exact phenomenon, and said "look what you're doing to us")

(Or maybe that's just how I remember it, because that's how I overwrote it in my head)

(I think there's a profound point about possessive love to be made here somewhere, but it's late and I'm too tired to look for the right words)

Anyways.

If Veilguard was the ending of the series, it would have at least set itself and all of us free from that.

It could also have attempted to say something more meaningful than world is good and always worthy of being saved. Like, people complain that Veilguard couldn't handle variable world states going in, and I get that, but I think the even bigger missed opportunity is that, having to account for more games in the setting, BioWare couldn't afford having varied world states coming out of it.

We save the world from mad tyrants, and a blind broken man, and that's it.

But there was setup for so much more here. I'm sure I didn't hallucinate it.

We're never asked what it actually means to save this world, and if it means the same thing for everyone.

We never have to wonder if it could possibly be us who are the blind and broken ones here, unable to turn from a dead-end path, because it is the only one familiar to us.

We never discuss what specifically it means for the Veil to go. It just defaults to DEMONS, BAD, and all the interesting foreshadowing for the Veil maybe coming down that we previously had goes completely out of the window.

And so we're never given the choice of what to do with this world. And we can't stop to really contemplate how fucked up it actually is for flawed individuals such as us, or Solas, or the Evanuris or whomever, to have the power to make decisions for a whole world to begin with, no matter how good we think our intentions are.

Just now realized how apt Veilguard is as a name for this game. Makes me wonder what it was, before it got that name.

It will be ironic if, despite all the work they did to make sure there is room for more sequels, and all they had to throw out to get a clean simple world state, this will actually become the last one in the series.