#we're just figuring them out right now-
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Due to feeling intense brainrot for this new The Thing au me and Rufus made I'm gonna make a kinda. intro? post to it? basically listing off the characters with basic descriptions and the whole. premise of the au. You will listen to me ramble. no you don't have a choice. /lhj
BASICALLY. the au is a crossover between TMC and John Carpenter's The Thing (1982), and is about the main TMC cast working at an antarctic research station before being attacked and picked off one by one by an alien entity that mimics organic material. It follows most of the same events as the movie does, though has quite a few differences from the source material that we'll. discuss later. In the meantime, here's the main cast:
Mark Heathcliff (34): Already touched on this dude's main deal in another post but i'll add some things here. He's the head mechanic of the station, and is quiet, and a bit of a loner. He's a recovering (or attempting to recover) alcoholic that is estranged from his family due to such, and only maintains contact with his sister, Sarah. He sometimes lets his emotions get to him, though he knows how to act in serious situations.
Sarah Heathcliff (21): A college student studying electronics, and was invited to the research facility by Mark because she was thinking of working there one day. Still has some grudges against Mark, as their relationship isn't perfect, but she still cares about him and Mark still cares about her. Becomes friends with Evelin.
Evelin Miller (22): The helicopter pilot and technician of the group. Also a bit of a loner, but helps around the facility whenever needed. Hangs out with Dave sometimes.
Cesar Torres (35): The dog Handler of the group, and thus spends a lot of time with the dogs. Is friends with Mark, though their friendship is. rocky, even if they're trying to fix things between each other. He's a bit more social than Mark, though isn't super energetic either. Overall, the voice of reason.
Dave Lee (46): The Biologist of the group. Is pretty friendly towards his coworkers, albeit awkward at times. Also has an interest in tech, even if it isn't his main profession. Though, he tends to make rash decisions when stressed.
Thatcher Davis (45): One of the station commanders. Overall: very tired and stressed. all the time. DEFINITELY has cabin fever. Overall pretty blunt, and occasionally rude, though he almost never means it in malice that's just how he sounds-
Ruth Weaver (46): The second Station commander, as well as a physician/medic. Quiet and calm in stressful situations most of the time, and is overall just there to help.
Jonah Marshall (23): The radio operator and cook of the group. Overall pretty positive and jokes a lot, though gets stressed and frustrated easily, along with being a bit of a coward at times.
Adam Murray (23(?)): A man who doesn't remember who he is after waking up in a Norwegian research base in the arctic. He doesn't remember much of anything from his past, and is unsure why he's so cold, or why he was found with blood on him.
Gabriel (30): The station commander and medic of the Norwegian research facility. Found Adam and took him in to be treated for frostbite. they seem nice, though something about their stare is. unnerving. They have a few coworkers as well (though they don't have proper names or personalities/occupations yet. Though one of them goes by Six, and is. oddly quiet.)
#ramblings :)#the mandela catalogue#mandela catalogue#tmc#tmc the thing au#alcohol mention#Wow! I sure do love these funky characters! I sure do hope nothing bad happens to them!!#Also these characters WILL get designs soon#we're just figuring them out right now-#also also. things are subject to change so. who knows maybe this will be outdated in a couple days- /LH
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NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE MAJIMA STUFF THOUGH. GOD. God forbid you speak poorly about the fandom silly guy etc etc. I rt’d one post about someone being annoyed abt majima getting an insane amount of merch (especially compared to other characters- even other PLAYABLE characters) and suddenly my TL is filled with ppl taking it as a personal attack….. like?? Settle down???
My one fear is that instead of Mine content we’re just gonna get Majima Saga 2 for yk3 and rgg will call it a day. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT THE GUY !!! GENUINELY!!!
at this rate we’re going to have a complete record of Majima’s life from birth until modern day bc you knowww they’re never gonna let the cash cow die or retire. + god I lowkey need the 3jimas to break up Now so saejima and daigo can stand on their own again (w/out being overshadowed by Majima)…. Saejima especially… I miss the days when he felt like a character………
(I may have a lot to say on the topic) (he’s a fun character but at this rate I’m getting so sick of the fandom around him)
gen is kinda funny how when there's the Monthly Critique Of Majima post on twitter the rggtwt part of the tl is flooded with majima fans being upset. its like clockwork really LOL
as for saejima, i do miss him being solo... like he's funny with majima at times, but as wack as Y4 was i still really liked his coliseum scene, and his prison adventures in Y5 were a real treat too..
#snap chats#like you say one mild comment about majima in passing and then you have mates acting as if you burned their crops#like .. its never this serious .. also i think people have the right to be a littttttle miffed that other charas barely get anything#its starting to change with the plushies and saejima/akiyama figures so thats great but. still a way to go LOL#its just esp Lol inducing because kiryu and ichi are protagonists so it makes sense for them to get stuff#but majima is quite literally a side character that wasnt meant to have this much popularity#the concept of a chara becoming popular by accident isnt bad thats not the thing- its even cool when that happens#its just sometimes you just see people act really entitled to stuff for that character while every other chara is ignored#and then the same people acting surprised when others go 'actually ive had a bit enough of this guy'#honestly if they did another majima segment for a hypothetical yk3 id laugh. like id be a bit annoyed but id mostly laugh#cause truly what else is there. he's like a comic book character we just gotta keep making situations for him til hes 90#idk. just so funny majima's been given a sort of 'weird' protagonist status#and i say weird because he IS a protagonist but just compared to how he actually functions throughout y1-y6. lol. lmao even#like youre right in that majima's a fun character but he really is better in just small doses imo#or. at least i need people to relax on the idea of a 'majima gaiden' or making him any more prominent in the games than he is now#anyway i cant be bitter posting my dad is being funny as hell. he got us bracelets and he was like#'in our family you and i are the only ones who like these. makes us cool' and i was like 'yeah dad we're so cool'#and this old man is just 'we're so cool ☺️' LIKE PL E A S E THE EMOJI TOOK ME OUT. i love my dad. all bitterness is gone from my heart#anyways bye if rgg gives majima a saga in yk3 im gonna livestream playing that and only that#not even yk3 just the majima part 😭😭😭😭
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maybe it's from the particularly acute disappointment of marc injuring himself at the sachsenring but this weekend (so far) has made me feel incredibly nervous for marc's future. like no guarantees of course but if marc was going to win anywhere this year (when the gap between the gp23 and gp24 is increasingly obvious, as you mentioned) it was going to be here. and i'm definitely overreacting because i'm emotional about it but it feels like him hurting himself here feels like a bad sign not just for this year but for the future at large. because it's a reminder that his body can't handle the riding style that used to take him so far. scary!
taking these two together ahahaa. this is truly the life of a sports fan huh
honestly with marc I've now swung so often and so far between 'it's so over' and 'we've never been more back' that I've gotten to an exciting point of. well. I suppose we'll have to see. I mean look, back in that jerez to catalunya stretch it did look like he might be able to be a serious title contender this season. at risk of making myself look like an idiot, I think we can pretty safely conclude that's not happening this year. but y'know, broadly what he needs to do is to figure his shit out for the rest of the year... like he kinda needs to just understand what this version of him can do under what circumstances. the thing about winning is that it's also a habit, it's something that becomes essentially muscle memory, you need to kinda have that reflexive understanding of how you've done it in the past - both in the context of races and titles. and it's still in there for him!! but he's just got to... take the rest of the season to chip away at the gap. currently, pecco and jorge don't just have the edge on him in pace, they have the edge on him in process. that's not just the bike, though it is also affected by marc being less familiar with the ducati. but pecco and jorge have just kind of gotten to the point where they know how to approach most weekends in a way where, more often or not, they will kinda maximise what was on offer for them that weekend. sometimes they chuck it down the road! but in terms of pure pace potential, right now they're getting to the point where they're there. marc is just a series of 'what ifs'. they're not all his fault, he's gotten unlucky, he's in a tough situation, he's still getting used to the new tracks on a ducati etc etc etc... but that's what this year is for. figure out the process, figure out how you actually go about getting wins in the current era - keeping your physical condition in mind - and take it from there
the physical stuff is the... yeah. the thing is, I do think he is capable of winning without all this crashing to figure out the limit. honestly, this approach of his made me deeply uneasy well well before what happened at jerez 2020. that injury and aborted comeback didn't feel like a fluke, it didn't feel like bad luck - in an awful way, it did feel like it had been a long time coming. that being said... well, y'know, marc was the only one who could win titles on the late 2010s honda, and part of the reason for that was that he figured out how to get a capricious bike just to the limit during races. you do not need to chuck the bike down the road fifty times per season to win the title on the ducati. pecco and jorge have very much shown that. sometimes it will just be dumb luck who gets injured or not! the sachsenring crash yesterday you can't really put down to marc being stupid or being irresponsible. he was hardly the only one who fell, weather conditions were tricky, shit does happen (not ideal that he tried to save the crash specifically because he knew his other bike had problems, plus the thing where he went out again before going to the medical centre, mind you). sometimes you fall a lot and you're fine, like marc for most of his prime. sometimes you crash at the start of the race and fall in front of the pack and your survival is up to fate. which is of course what happened last year to pecco, still one of the scariest crashes I've ever seen live in terms of crashes where you really do think you just got very very close to watching someone be killed in real time. this is the thing, right... at the end of the day, you can hope that marc finds an approach that relatively minimises the risk to his body - but also, you can only control so much. especially with where his body is at right now, there's only so many bad knocks you can take. you never know, you can only hope
overall, I have been thinking for a while that it's almost a bit... odd? how the physical stuff hasn't really featured at all in 2025-26 hot takes? I reckon people don't really want to think about it playing a big role, and also I suppose 'well one of them could get injured' is treated as just an underlying assumption of following motorcycle racing... but like we saw with catalunya last year, it's not just stuff that takes you out for ten races that can have big title race repercussions. especially given how marc traditionally went about winning titles, how big a part of that process it was for him. we've had such an incredible lucky streak from the start of the season until mugello that being afraid of injuries has almost... receded a little bit? in everyone's minds? after last year, in particular, where it just felt like you were always worrying about someone, it was just so relentless... and now injury worries have just come back with a vengeance these last few weeks and it is a little scary. a lot of this is scary. no real escaping it I'm afraid
but yes! anon! I agree with you! we'll get back to the smile and we'll get back to the optimism too.. at the end of the day, you can only do what you can do. we'll see what happens. if we're all massively underestimating just how much that sweet red bull cash can do and ktm comes out with a rocket ship next year and pedro wins the next ten titles, so be it. you never know
#thank u summer break to let him recover. imagine if we had a race next week#putting this in the tags because I don't LOVE this comparison when it comes to 'literal competitive picture' rather than 'vibes/emotions'#but it is essentially valentino's 2013. like take your time figure this shit out and see what's possible going forwards#valentino was way more depressed about his competitive outlook than marc is right now. with good justification#but that's kinda the point no? like valencia '13 the idea that valentino would get THAT close to winning a title again would've felt insane#sometimes u do just have to bet on the fuck you talent. and also it's about mindset! u can trust them to try EVERYTHING#basically it's not a done deal but he's also not doomed. who knows. who knows#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#anyway having now gone the full way from 'oof what if his domination bores me again' to 'what if we're FUCKED'#can i just throw in a little 'what if we get the 2008-09 equivalent of winning titles through smarts rather than speed' into the room#forget relentless pace FORGET injury hell. i want you to laguna him!!#i mean you couldn't really laguna pecco but the point is you need to find a customised approach. use ur brain i believe in u#completes the trio of stolen overtakes from pecco's mentor and last corner catalunya's him. imagine the narrative implications#ignore how pecco is definitely a better defensive rider than jorge and actually knows how to protect the inside line. screenshot this now#current tag
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me applying chapstick for five minutes straight because I woke up with cracked lips this morning and I'm seeing my gf tomorrow
#we're gonna kiss#YAY#I like kissing i think I just dont know how to do it right#neither does she though we'll figure it out#tomorrow probably#i do not have an excuse for having chapped lips because she literally gave me like. five chapsticks#however i somehow lost half of them and now i only have root beer flavored#it just tastes sweet whatever
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Christopher Nolan making movies: I'm gonna make a film that is so confusing and non-linear
#just watched memento :DDDDD#which i think would be his first bigger movie?#but it was so interesting bcs there were a lot of concepts in it that are so visible in his later films#like watching that after watching almost all of his most recent films was such an 'aha!' moment#lthe whole black&white vs in-color to delineate which part of the story we're in#in memento: black and white is the beginning of the story and then in-color is the rest of the story going backwards#and then he uses that concept again in oppenheimer but b&w is the current events and color is everything leading up to that and after#like yeah its really confusing first time around because you dont know that fully yet but then at the end its like OH!!!!!#and then both also have other stuff interspersed btwn those two sections that you only reallly understand by the end#and then with the plot going backwards. that was the same as tenet right?#like starting with the end of the story and them ending with the beginning of the story#i cant remember inception well enough atm but im sure it has traits of memento as well#his movies are like puzzles ig! like you really have to keep track of all the details and what takes place when#i think theyre really fun bcs more and more becomes clear to you#im not sure what the most confusing nolan movie is hmmmm probably tenet or inception right?#oppenheimer: much more clear in general since its following literal historical events but just in a non linear manner#the only real reason i found it a bit confusing is bcs i didnt know a lot of the characters and also was trying to figure out the timeline#and then interstellar is more just confusing in concept bcs it has to do with time in the 4th dimension and all that#but i think the story is pretty understandable its just hard to wrap your head around the different time/dimension concepts#then again....ive watched it probably more than 4 times by now! ITS ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES EVER#cant say much abt the batman movies bcs they have nolan concepts but arent really like his other stuff#haha someones said he did those movies so he could make absolute bank and then have a blank check to do whatever movies he wants#and someone also said that oppenheimer felt like memento and thats so so so true!!!#its cool that he can make the movies he wants. bcs as i said watching memento really outlines very well what concepts he likes#watching it was weird bcs im like oh yeah this is *so* christopher nolan and then realize this is literally only his second film#i need to rewatch inception and dunkirk and see if i can spot inspo from Memento in them#anyways: yay film!!! yay cinema!!!!!! movies are so fun!!!!!!#catie.rambling.txt
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#emetophobia tw#the thing is one of the PDFs is actually specifically for us and has our name in the file name and has been edited to be the right info#but it's only for one specific thing while all the other information about what to expect is just generic stuff#which makes it even more confusing because it gives the impression that it's all specific to this surgery when it isn't#also it's 13 fucking PDFs and we're supposed to read through all of them#but I managed to skim over like 2 paragraphs from one of the generic ones before I started panicking so hard I nearly threw up#(I tried to read the others while already panicking and you can imagine how this went)#it would be nice if people could fucking communicate with us clearly about what's going on#instead of whatever the fuck this is because now we've had multiple instances of being confused as fuck because nobody explained shit#and also if medical professionals could actually fucking understand how medical trauma works and maybe work with us#to figure out how to make this less distressing so we don't have to keep dealing with panic attacks like this#we're not freaked out by the procedure itself. it's a bunch of the other stuff around it that probably doesn't seem like a huge deal#a lot of it feels very dehumanising and like we don't get a say in what people do to us#and there are lots of little things you can do to make us feel less like we're in control and less like we're being dehumanised#but nobody does that and they don't seem to get why certain stuff would be distressing#also the kind of panic attacks we have with this are ones where we don't seem to be able to calm ourselves down#we literally have to use the ''shove an ice cube/something really spicy in your mouth'' trick when we have them#because our brain will not fucking stop and then we spend the next couple of hours really dazed and struggling to process anything#and obviously I don't fucking want that to happen in a hospital because nobody is gonna handle that well#I'm concerned the nurses won't understand how dissociation works and will keep refusing to let us go home#because of us being really spaced out and woozy from the dissociation because they'll assume it's from the sedation instead#when going home would be the thing that would help us stop being so spaced out because we'd be leaving the triggering environment
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well. if nothing else One Person in the medical field has decided i fall in line with enough symptoms to confidently talk about what she thinks it probably aligns with. There's still things I gotta do in order to keep ruling things out, but... I don't know... I have hope? which is weird to come out with after a diagnosis of something that's symptom-management only but like. yeah i might have this forever but also I know what it is.
#the fact that my family abhors a doctor and medical discussions has been a pretty big hindrance tbh#like... i feel like there's probably Symptoms Galore in those bitches#but my family lives in a whole different universe where all the shit i've been going through my whole life is Perfectly Normal#and told me to Stop Complaining enough times that I just assumed they were right#and it turns out the things i am going through are in fact Not Normal#and now there's steps being taken to help me figure out what might work best for me#oh but yeah anyway if you're reading this far down 1) you're a trooper and 2) yeah rheumatology says it's most likely fibromyalgia#plus hypermobility which we're double checking to make sure my heart is Fine and doesn't have connective tissue issues alongside it#anyway like i said i have next steps#and one of them is calling to set up an EKG so we can make sure my heart looks the way it ought to
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We are leaving in 9 hours and I wish my mom's stress had peaked but I Know it hasn't
#based on previous experience#there's going to be tomorrow morning right before we leave#and then boarding the eurostar. and then the horror of navigating the tube with huge ass suitcases#somebody grant me strength this much stress cannot be good for you#i keed to get a few good long fics to read in the train otherwise I'm going to have a shit time#and i'm bringing sooo much bullshit that some stuff doesn't uh. fit anywhere in the limited amount of luggage we're allowed to bring? so.#yikers. i'm not leaving my soup powder at home! i need the soup powder!#for the uninitiated the soup powder is a mix of spices by roellinger spices#you put it in soups and it gives them. well. the taste of soup powder. but that's great!#because when your soup tastes bad you just mix in a little soup powder and bam! it tastes like soup powder and not yucky failed soup!#a miracle. i'm going to be making many bad soups this winter while i try to figure out how to make good ones#and i need my miraculous soup powder to save my ass when i have a good litre of yucky bad soup#ANYWAY. i am so stressed out inside. outside i look normal unless you talk to me#years of adhd practice#wow i have a ramble tag now#england adventures
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"Do you have any sense--"
"No."
"--of how much...hold on, did you just say no already? You have no sense?"
"Not a lick of it. I mean look at me, it's 4:30 in the afternoon, and I've been drinking on the balcony since before noon. I'm still in my pajamas. And this is where I fully plan to remain as I allow my crippling self-doubt and depression to dictate the entire rest of my day."
"Mm, right, right...I'm doing the same thing, but I'm wearing my good heels to make myself feel pretty, so I think that makes me better."
"Rude. I did both of our hair this morning while you dozed in the chair, and I'm wearing silk. We are equals as we luxuriate in glamourous stagnancy, right now."
#[Jinnea -extra-]#[Felesio -extra-]#I just love them your honor#it's their well deserved 'me day'#they'll regret it tomorrow when they have to play catch up#but for right now they say it's worth it#they're doing the equivalent of#Carpathia: Mom! Mom!!#Jinnie and Fele: We're not mom today; figure it out or go ask your dad (the Council)
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being honestly and earnestly in love with someone is a life changing experience actually. 10/10
#ive realized in whatever weird autistic way i feel love that like#im completely head over heels in love with my room mate#and i know they love me back#and we're just kinda chillin and figuring shit out and trying to not get into a committed relationship or start having like#expectations for each other outside of Living Together shit#but like holy fuck man#feeling comfortable and happy being in love with someone and not needing it returned in a relationship or romance#just caring them and supporting each other#and having hot t4t tranny sex#is so fucking soul healing actually#im being my best self right now#outside of the really gross farts im having#that's not my best self#but long term#let draco say fuck
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How's it going with your coworker??!!
I'm still so fucking soft and that's really all I've got for today lmao
#not snz#i did the whole 'feel how cold my hands are' thing and it fucking worked like??#but my hands are actual legit always fucking freezing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#BUT i held his hand half the time and fuck i didn’t know people's hand could feel that nice#like once again I'm touch starved to the point i hardly know how to give a proper hug bc i almost never give/receive them#so anything would probably feel good lmao#but like his hands are so warm and they're not at all soft but they are super gentle?? idk it's weird#i might’ve thought a little too hard about it hskaksk we're gonna have to move on lmao#mainly we just talked a lot as always and he was an asshole but he's also so sweet???? like it's crazy#OH and there was one point he like put his arm on the seat behind me so it wasn’t quite around me but it was a little bit#like please why do i want that so bad lmao normally I'm afraid of people doing anything like that to me#hugged him before we left too and 😩#the way i wanna hold him and pet his hair so bad is wild lmao like i just cannot stop being pathetic#like i fr need to stop thinking about it ahskaksksl that's my coworker#and i was talking to the other girlies while we were walking back to our cars and gossiping and catching up#and i mentioned hanging out with my partner to which they were both like 👀 and i had to convince them that it wasn't a date lmao#but they both agreed with me that it can't be a date if nobody says it's a date so it was still Not A Date#yay for women LMAO#However they did say it didn't sound quite platonic either so they're still 👀 ahskamksla#and they've been joking about me and this guy for a hot minute now so they're double 👀 lmao#the other medic always said he's got a soft spot for me and that just kinda makes me 🥰 ya know#but also why do i lowkey feel sick about the thought of him actually being into me lmao like is thay normal#maybe sick isn't the right word but i feel something and it's not exactly pleasant but it's definitely not bad#maybe it's just the cramps LMAO idk#anyway i just feel kinda weird but it's not a bad weird so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#again it's not like this is ever gonna go anywhere so i don't think i need to try too hard to figure it out lmao#anyway I'm cold and tired and wanna go to bed now lmao i can barely keep my eyes open to make this post#idk how coherent this is gonna be so I'm just gonna hope for the best lmao
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another day another horrifying nightmare!!
#kind of enjoyed this one though it was rly horrible but very cool#was working on a remote island with a big platform that went from the surface to deep deep deep underground#like the lift took a few hours to get down and back up (through the ocean and the earth)#and me and this team were doing research on some weird things happening down there trying to figure out why they were happening#and i was largely hired for stuff on the surface but things on the island were weird#the whole team would be in a room and then you'd hear footsteps upstairs#you'd be talking to someone and then they'd walk into the room and the original one u were talking to would be gone#you'd see these. idk ghostly figures walking really slowly around#eventually the entire team is in the underground area me included#and the lift starts going up as if someone up there had called it. and we're all like <:^(. and then the door handle starts rattling#the lift room automatically locked whenever it was in use to prevent injury but we were in the bit just outside the lift#so the lift stops at the top and whatever's at the door is now banging and kicking at it. one guy on the team is having a full on meltdown#and the lift starts coming back down. by this point some team members are like. trying to find weapons in the room to little avail#and the lift arrives. totally empty. and as it does the door unlocks.#and the door handle goes down slowly. and then as if whatever was doing it suddenly ceased to exist it jolted back up#turned out by the end whatever was down there in the caverns was creating like. ever so slightly wrong clones of us#they had tapetum lucidum and something else kind of disconcerting abt them and they absolutely hated their original#but i hadn't been down there long enough to have one#but we'd seen little glimpses of them every now and then. sometimes u could tell u weren't talking to the right one#and one day everyone came back up and they clearly weren't right and none of them were the originals i could tell#and i snuck down there that night and there was absolutely no trace of their bodies. blood trails‚ a few teeth‚ but no bodies#decided i wasn't going down there again but it was still kind of horrible on the surface. the footsteps upstairs were still there#the ghostly figures were still there and id wake up to them in my room. 7 of them. same as the amount of team members. staring.#ANYWAYS insanely spooky dream v cool
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#my day job made it so that the department im in will now be responsible for the Addiction Services patients#yet the department who formerly had them is actually getting the pay raise...#so figure that one out.#i have no problem with addicts but im just not ready to deal with their agitation and shenanigans#the few phone calls of theirs ive handled in the past have been stressful. now we're going to handle them all the time -_-#lots of 'someone stole my meds right outta my bag and left everything else' calls in my future
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so. hm.
#it's me#tw vent#ex vents#tw abuse#man. we really need to remember that most of the time abuse is unintentional#for some reason we can recognize it with the authority figures that were in our life#but we're looking through our old messages and shit and#our ex partner/former sp was abusive#it probably seems obvious from the outside if you read our avpd posts (especially the one talking about how their essential confirmation of#--our avpd's worst fears made it so that we didn't realize we had avpd until we cut them out)#but like. internally. even if we recognized it as ''fucked up''. it only *registered* as ''just a little oopsie''#but like. we had a private server with them and we made two channels for each of us to vent privately unless we @ed the other#and we were SUPPOSED to mute the other's channel so you would ONLY get notifs if you were @ed.#they did not mute ours. and on *numerous* occasions they would read our vents and then complain about how they felt sooooo bad#and then we would be made to comfort them and would get no acknowledgment of how we were hurt outside of how bad they felt about it#and how they were scared of being abusive. and we'd always assure them they weren't because what else could we say?#and only a few times out of the many many MANY times they started breaking down like that over problems we had did they try not to make us-#--comfort them. often when we were in the midst of our *own* breakdown because we were hurting from what they did!#like yeah we have npd and avpd we get that it feels shitty and terrible to be told you hurt someone you love. we know that spiral intimatel#but we pretty much always tried our best not to force them to comfort us and would try not to make it obvious that we were hurt#because we recognized that they mattered more in that moment! and we did not want to take away from that!#welp time to go block them on every single thing lol#this is one hell of a realization to make right now
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this just in I am randomly getting sand flea bites from somewhere and we don't know where
#for reference i am allergic to flea bites including sand fleas#not a deathly allergy but that means flea bites stick around for longer and tend to puff up#I've only gotten a couple and mostly just get bites from regular fleas#but my mom used to get sand flea bites a lot#and for her they stick around forever and are extremely itchy which yeah. same is happening to me#so my parents are trying to figure out where the bites are coming from#my mom has a feeling they're coming from my unfinished wood flooring#but we have no idea why they're just now cooming out and biting me#we've been in this house with those floors for around 6 years now and this has never happened#I'm literally in so much pain the bites feel so itchy like if you were to ignore an itch for like a week#but i can't scratch them because it'll get worse and i might make myself bleed#and nothing gets rid of the itciness :/ i tried multiple allergy medications and hydrocortisone none of it worked#so right now we're trying a foot bath rn#because all of my bites are on my feet (this is why my mom suspects it's my floor)
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