#we're good now. today was just... NOT good for me mentally. but. we're good now. -đ´
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again đđ
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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as bad as kr2000 is i Will sit here and be distraught over the fact that kitt was STILL willing to sacrifice himself for michael. he was left abandoned by his partner for a decade, scrapped for parts, and he's... notably bitter about it for nearly the entire runtime, even when michael returns only briefly and puts him back together as best he can. and in spite of the snide comments about being abandoned the way he was, about michael, about his situation, he'll still risk and sacrifice his own life for him without hesitation
i hate having Two canon instances of his self-sacrificing nature i hate that we know his last words twice over i don't want these nickels
nothing can stop me from crying about robots on main
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#kitt#is too good of a character to have been mishandled so badly by everything after the original series#im doin bad im doin real bad this week and i woke up and decided i'd cry aaaaaall day and that means i got tears to spare for the funny car#dogshit movie. but it has interesting fragments when you cut out the crap#this is a really funny media to be clinging to during a slowburn mental breakdown at the end of the world#whatever it takes to stay sane. im gripping my tiny palm-sized kitt with full force lest i collapse. oh kitt we're really in it now#sorry i heard the phrase 'take care of yourself' today and that just toppled me right over like a bad jenga tower ok
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Overthinking, over analyzing, separates the body from the mind, etc. etc.
#vent art#we're good now. today was just... NOT good for me mentally. but. we're good now. -đ´#what that text says is UNNNNIMPORTANT LOL all of yall tht sees this r gonna ignore tht we p much wrote a ficlet here lol. lmao. anyways -đ´#đŁ was right! Art helps! art . helps. đđ -đ´#Lateralus.#<== good song btw go listen 2 it right naow. if you can handle listening to 9 minutes of... whatever fuckign genre t.00l is ldnskdjhf#k to rb i literally dont care. if we dont want shit rbed we'll make it unrebloggable.#im rlly happy with how limbo looks here . In unrelated news //looks at it// Who here's gonna design a Skill Set for this fucker.#bc the brain rot never stops. Obviously. HDFKJ -đ´#IDK HOW TO DRAW LUNGS BTW. THAT'S WHAT'S ON ITS SHIRT. BTW.
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T-T still too fuckin hot
I hate summer
#we're under a heat advisory so its like. hotter than usual. but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#they have food in the break room for us today but nobody told me that was happening ahead of time#so i did not mentally prepare#so i am still outside eating my chocolate granola cuz i ran out of peanut butter granola bars#i saw they had something labeled as veggie so the meat wouldnt be a problem#but most generic vegetarian dishes people make are things that i do not like lol#my moms office usually has good veggie options cuz they have a lot of indian people so they have vegetarian indian food#which is always good#this looks like bbq#which i do not like#my dad did bbq competitions when i was in middle school and we had bbq for months before each one so he could practice#and i was already kinda meh about bbq to begin with#so eating it and not much else for months has made me hate it lol#and the thought of it eating it now makes me nauseous#pulled pork used to be one of 2 ways i could eat pork#now there is only bacon#i was fed far too much pulled pork#A DRAGONFLY JUST LANDED ON MY KNEE#it flew away before i could take a picture unfortunately: /
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Sure there's zombies killing and eating people on the street but those people are not dying from the virus they're dying from comorbidities. For instance, that guy we saw getting eaten on the way into work today clearly died from blood loss, not infection, plus he already had a heart condition. People with preexisting conditions are just going to have to take care of themselves. Say it with me, "They're all already dead to me." See, that feels a lot better now doesn't it?
Good because you still have to go to work. No we're not paying you extra. Yes we're doubling grocery prices. No you don't qualify for disability. Or healthcare. Or a home.
Look, if you get bitten, you can stay home for one day, I guess đ, but then you need to come in early. We're really short staffed at the moment, despite our company's profits being higher than ever. In fact we may be laying some of you off next month. You don't mind working off the clock right?
Also you look silly with that protective gear. We're gonna harass you for it, not like institutionally but just socially. Who cares if a zombie attacks you? Who cares if we invite them into the building? You don't need to defend yourself, you're just overreacting. If you get bitten just tell everyone the festering bite mark is from a different animal, that's what we all do.
And hey, don't worry so much. It's endemic, which means we don't have to keep track of how many people are dying from it anymore. Just look at those numbers! It's only killed 2,000 people in America this week! That's basically nobody! We're back to normal!
If everything starts tasting like rotting meat for the rest of your life, it's probably something else. If you experience brain fog or you forget things constantly or you're tired all the time after even minor physical activity, it's just because you're lazy. Yes every other virus you ever get will also be increasingly worse but that's just a coincidence. Those viruses just happen to be exponentially worse now.
Plus, those few weeks during the lockdown were terrible for my mental health. I just can't keep living like that, so we have to go back to normal life, which now involves people biting each other and twitching uncontrollably and rotting visibly.
You can't expect the world to wait for you. "Already dead to me," remember?
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wow its funny how quickly i can feel suicidal đ
#watched a show today where they mentioned how they need to interview a parent for autism diagnosis#and i was curious if it was really a thing here tol#and apparently it is lmao đ#and usually thinking about the whole process of doing that on my own at the sweet age of 25 makes me feel terrible#but ive had multiple people point out to me that i should do it so ive considered it#but now i feel proper like kms over it bc what. the fuck even.#my dad is dead im not sure my step qualifies as a parent bc she didnt not raise me and wasnt married to my dad#so whaaaat it means is. itd have to be my actual birth m*ther. which.#im 100% serious when i say id rather die than have her tell mental health professionals what she thinks about me#and my potential autism#so not only am i now back to 0 when it comes to trying to convince myself it could be good#i also feel incredibly suicidal bc this made me think about the m*ther lmao.#what good times we're having lads#just :) great times :)#lĂŠo.txt
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#tag talk#had a new therapist appointment today. she seems nice and I think we'll probably get along.#I complained about growing up queer and christian and she complained about her bible thumping sister so I complained about my little brother#who is the same flavor of dogmatic religious and as long as it doesn't ever turn into her genuinely complaining about stuff to me we're good#I'm always bad at open ended questions like âtell me about yourselfâ but I can go off for an hour with a prompt like âdo you have any kids?â#I woke up my laptop an hour ahead because it's so fuckin old it needs the time to wake up but my pc doesn't have a webcam so laptop it is.#I got a headset that connects with a bluetooth dongle because my pc network card doesn't have onboard bluetooth and it's nice#cause I don't have to worry about audio cords and I can walk around the house while still connected to call.#so many people I vc with have issues with headphones and mics unplugging all the time and I'm like hah I'm better than you.#anyway. we'll see how it goes. she was nice and wasn't sarcastic or passive aggressive so better than the first person I saw here.#and she actually responds to my comments and asks questions instead of just silently listening so better than my last actual therapist.#fourth time's the charm maybe. we'll see. I'm also in a place where I can get even more done myself with just a little external motivation#so even if she's not remarkably insightful I'm in a better place mentally so with a bit of external impetus I can get even more done now.#I picked weekly instead of biweekly because I will forget stuff so fucking fast if I pick biweekly and I can schedule it further away later#if I decide that's what I want/need/can handle. but yeah. new stuff#I still to call their dental department about a checkup cause it's been since 2019 since I got an actual checkup.#I brush and floss and mouthwash because I'm paranoid of having an issue without immediate dental care so I'm prolly fine#but it would be nice to be sure about it instead of just presuming and guessing.#once again thanks for socialized healthcare even if it is pretty garbage in the US it's absolutely better than nothing.#if/when I want gender surgery shit it'll probably be a whole-ass issue but for the entry-level shit it's very manageable.#anyway. I almost forgot about my scheduled appointment because when my brain is nervous about stuff it chooses to forget about it#which has cause problems in the past and certainly will again in the future but I remembered early enough that I didn't try and shower#cause deadass one time I had to hop out of the shower to take a scheduled Dr call cause I forgot about it#if my music hadn't paused I wouldn't have noticed.#no big deal just me talking about important medical treatment stuff buck ass nude full thang swangin#anyway. hopefully good things in the future perhaps.#I have to go shower for real now. byeeeeee
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I have really good friends, and all I want in this world is for us all to be safe and healthy so we can have more days like today tbh
#ive been in and out of isolation for the past 3 months: everyone my house has now had covid this year#one of my friends has had covid and had a couple of other colds over the past few months#their partner also um broke his fucking neck at work back in august and holy fuck we're all so glad he's okay now and recovering well#and then we're all just autistic and mentally ill on top of everything#i just wanna have more adventures w the nerd herdđĽş#we did a full day today it was do fun!!!!#we met up for coffee for a bit#then we went crystal and antique shopping and then mall to get crush out of group a night fit#bc after we finished at the mall we went back to friend and their partner's place to pregame and watch korean zombie show#and then we went to a metal show!!! at a record store!!! with a bunch of local bands!!!!#and crush kissed me!!! and i went back to her place for a bit!!!#i had so much fun#i love these hoes#4 gays (5 if my bf is with us) and our token cishet autistic white man#hes our diversity hire lol#he got a new jacket#and dont get me wrong its a nice jacket#BUT- the whole fit was giving hallmark movie love interest and he was so offended that we pointed it out lmao#anywho- i like these humans and i just want the best for us and to have more good times with them bc theyre good people and i love them#i may have had a few drinks tonight lol- after i said to diversity hire that i need to drink less alcoholđ
#its fine tho- i am no longer anxious about what i was anxious about so heres hoping i will not be.. extremely depressed when i wake up!#pls ignore my sentimental ranting#mine#personal#tl;dr i love my friends a great deal and i am incredibly grateful for the friends i have made in all of the places i have lived before now 2#okie: its almost 5am its bed time lol#im beat#tw mental illness
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âđâËâš bbydaddy!jk (16) âđâËâš
series m.list // taglist request closed
note: please prioritize your mental health and peace if the following content is too heavy for you. this portion of the plot has a lot of angst, and arguing. overall contains sensitive topics. thank you all for waiting so well for the break-up reveal!
tw: mentions of anxiety/stress/insomnia/ and postpartum depression,, early pregnancy loss (5 weeks), and self-neglect.
đˇď¸ permanent taglist:
@joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo
//
"so... jungkook moved back in, he bought you a new car, and this entire time you've been broken upâyou've been sleeping with him?"
it feels stupid to confess everything to your therapist.
youâve been avoiding this for 9 months now.Â
today it has to be settled.Â
it has to be over.Â
this feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to throw up over and over again until you have nothing left inside of you. your lips tighten at the way your therapist blinks at you. you've never really been able to read her, but maybe that's what you like so much about her.
sometimes, it's nice not to know and just to take what people say as they are.
"he's not actually moved back in... he just has more closet space."
your therapist notes something down on her pad. then, she looks at you and simply comments, "i see... is that all you think it is? more closet space?"
"y-yes? n-no... no. okay, it's not like we're not back together though..." you begin to explain yourself.
"but you've been sleeping with him the entire time you guys have been broken up?"
you make a face.
your therapist tilts her head and lets out a light sigh.Â
"i'm not judging. you two are adults. you both have needs. you both need each other. you both love each other. i'm just clarifying thatâ"
"okay, yes," you yield. "i have been sleeping with my babydaddy but havenât gotten back together with him... i meanâwe kind of are? to be fair, the break-up wasnât a real break-up... it just grew into one. i take the blame for the dumping because i was the one who pulled away. so inevitably, i can't help but feel like a villain in all of it... am i? am i the villain? zion had this whole thing about what family is like, a home with another kid from his daycare, and it... it made me feel so guilty. jungkook and i talked about it and worked on it... i know he doesn't blame me, but every time i bring myself closer to... what do i even call this? ... forgiving him? forgiving myself? i d-don't know... all i know is that... every time i want to move on and just be happyâwith him. with zion... with my lifeâi can't find it in me. i pull away, and it hurts everyone around us. sometimes, i wonder if they know it hurts me too."
"what does that mean?" she asks, her tone soft and curious. "good job getting that off your chest. you're doing great, ___."
mumbling a 'thank you,' you sigh and shrug your shoulders. honestly, you canât think. your mind goes blank. she then sits up, fixing her posture. leaning forward, she makes her observation.
"___, you broke up with jungkook 9 months ago because of the circumstances. sure, he was supportive and understanding, but sometimes, when everything gets too much, the only person who can fix you is yourself. ___, it was a lot. it was heavy. one thing I've noticed about you is that you think and speak as if everything has to be this big thing. you know your emotions are bigger than the problem, yet you suppress them. it's okay to feel them because when you don't, you start to lose yourself. sometimes, it sounds to me like you want to burn the room down for people to empathize with you... for people to see you. for you to see yourself even."
"i don't want to burn anything downâ"
"it's an analogy," she explains. "the truth is, for you, being burned out isnât a thing until you canât get out of bed. burnout is as simple as not wanting coffee anymore. sometimes, it's losing yourself to stress and anxiety... and people see that. jungkook, your friends, and your parents saw it. you donât have to prove it. ___, you canât keep pushing yourself until you canât run anymore. you have to slow down. you have to let yourself be tired and learn how to rest."
you nod, agreeing with her take. then, you make another confession.
"i understand that," you take a deep breath. "but itâs like⌠before i knew it, i was upset and unfit for our relationship. i screwed up too early. that's why i broke up with him... but now... i donât know. the guilt and blame keep pointing in different directions. i donât know what i'm doing, and i can't do that. i can't not know when it comes to the father of my child and the love of my life."
your therapist purses her lips and offers you a small smile.
"then, ___... is it possible that things are better now? that it's more than his clothes in your home? that the room isnât burning anymore? is it that maybe... finally, youâre realizing that being tired and burnt out is a part of life? ___, youâve done nothing but get everything right since your childhood... to let your feelingsâgood or badâbe true and big isnât a flaw. itâs you being human."
her words hit you, but not enough to stop your insecurities. with shaky eyes, you ask her, "w-what if i do it again?"
"do what again? burnout?"
"what if i fuck up everything about my life again? my career? motherhood? jungkook and iâs relationship? it hurt so bad... to wake up next to my family and not feel anything. it was so fucking hard... i couldnât even pretend that i was okay. a-and when i asked for some air... he wasnât even mad at me. he packed his bags and lost his breath from crying so much. at the door, he asked me if i was sure... and even though i wasnât; i said yes...." you explain, your voice growing quieter with each word.
suddenly, everything feels so heavy.Â
if there was ever a time to understand and relate to the feeling of the world being on your shoulders... this would be that moment. taking a breath, you compose yourself.
"i canât do that again," you vow. "i canât change my mind."
"you canât change your mind again or you canât hurt like that again?"
you pause.
"9 months ago, my mind kept going back and forth whether or not jungkook cared about me," you confess. "but i recently realized he does. he has. he always will... i just donât know if i can trust him the same as before... i think iâm a horrible person for thinking that. weird, right? especially with how fucking horrible i am to him now."
"thatâs not true." your therapist disagrees. "___, it was traumatic. you went through a lotâ"
"âand i will never understand how he held himself together. when he was accused of plagiarism at his company, i took those accusations and sued until jungkookâs name was spotless. it was hard on both of us. he didnât want me to go that far because they were his coworkersâhis âfriendsââbut why... why was he so pathetic then? those people were out to ruin him. they quit the company and went to jyp. they proposed work that belonged to jungkook... it was a conflict of interest! when jungkook launched his work with hybe, jyp accused him of plagiarism. hybe cut ties with him and his company gave him so much shit for losing hybe. and i, his girlfriend and mother of his child, risked my career to focus on his case instead of my clients. i chose him. i did everything to fight for him. then, he told me he wanted to settle and stay at the company... i couldnât believe it... he had his reputation on the lineâhis career! mine was too and all for what? because he didnât want to embarrass his friends? because he didnât want to cause the company more trouble? then, what about me? what about us?"
your therapist looks at you with sincere eyes. she nods, taking your words in.Â
"___, does he know youâre still upset with his decision?"
"yes," you sigh, recalling how betrayed you felt. "w-we donât talk about it. how do we? it felt like i wasted 2 months of my life and we lost ourâwe lost."
your therapist reaches over and offers you the tissue box. you didnât even realize you were crying... but the silence between you two and the ache from the words that you just said begins to sting your chest.
after a few moments, your therapist softly tells you, "___, i donât think you left him because you didnât love him... i think you left because, despite everything, you did. that hurt because it meant loving him and putting him before yourself... on top of that, you were at a state where you should have been put first."
you gulp.
she purses her lips and makes her hit.
"___, do you resent yourself for the loss?"
you clench your fist as your therapist rubs salt into your open wounds. "the self-neglect? the stress? the post-partum depression? the insomiaâ"
"i resent myself for the loss," you admit. "... and i resent jungkook for losing me."
when you arrive home, jungkook is in the kitchen cooking.Â
you didnât expect him to be home. he was supposed to be picking zion up at this time and you were looking forward to some alone time. clearly, you have a lot to think about. as you take off your shoes, jungkook turns his attention to you.
âhi honey,â he smiles brightly.Â
truth be told, he had a long day. he was running late this morning and had rushed out the door. as he drove to work, he got annoyed with himself.Â
he forgot to kiss you before he left.Â
so you can imagine just how excited he is to see you now⌠especially with all he has planned for tonight.Â
âwe had a meeting today and it ended early. it went really well so i have some news! also, i picked zion up right after my meeting. took him out for a little father-and-son afternoon... then, i dropped him off at your parentsââ
âwhy would you do that?â you snap, putting your things away.
jungkook chuckles. âuh, maybe because i wanna ask you something tonightâŚâ
your body stiffens.
âbut weâll get to that later! do you want to eat first? iâm cooking your favoriteââ
âplease stop,â you shut your eyes and take a breath. âjungkook, i had a long day. iâm glad yours was good and you got to bond with zion. i appreciate the effortâi just donât⌠i donât like that you dropped zion off at my parents after picking him up early from daycare. why didnât you just take him home? and thank you for cooking... but i had a late lunch today, so iâm not hungry.â
âis it so bad i want to spend time with you alone?â jungkook asks, his smile fading.Â
jungkook isnât stupid.Â
he knows youâre not in the mood, but he canât help but push your boundaries a little. besides, communication is always good, right? at least, thatâs what heâs been told.Â
âitâs okay if you donât want to eat... as long as you ate today. what did you eat?â he attempts.Â
you move past jungkook as he asks you the question. taking out your phone, you check for any missed messages. jungkookâs eyebrows furrow as you ignore him. he catches your waist and guides you against the kitchen counter. grabbing your phone from your hands, he puts it aside.
âwoah,â he pouts. âwhatâs up? why are you acting like this?â
you look at jungkook and hate yourself. his eyes are so kind and full of love.Â
you know it.Â
you feel it.Â
it hurts so bad.
âwhatâs with the mood?â he asks, more gently this time.Â
jungkook moves his hands from your waist to wrap around you. he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and hugs you tightly. âif youâre mad at me about something, thatâs okay... but be angry here. donât ignore me. being angry together is better than not being together at all.â
his plea makes your eyes tear up.
this isnât easy for you either, but to be honest... itâs now or never. tonight, your heart feels especially heavy. you canât blame it. some people say time heals all woundsâperhaps, this is it.Â
this is the time limit.
âcan i tell you my news?â he asks, partly trying to stall the conversation and partly because it was good news.Â
âsure.â
âi got a job offer,â jungkook says. âiâd have to do an informal interview but itâs basically mine if i want it. theyâre setting up a branch in new york. they want me to go there for 3-6 months and help start everything up. guide and mentor the visual director thereââ
âthatâs amazingââ
âi donât want it,â jungkook chuckles. âthey told me to sleep on it and make my decision in a month. until then, they offered me a raise! isnât that great?â
your smile drops.Â
all of the feelings youâve been trying to regulate since you stepped out of your therapist's office today feel like theyâve gone out the window. was he serious? he declined such a big step in his careerâfor a raise?Â
âjungkook,â you croak. âdo you know why we broke up?â
he pulls away.Â
what a fucking switch up. he doesnât understand.Â
for a moment, he doesnât know what to do with his hands. does he reach out to hold yours or keep them by his side? heâs caught off guard. he doesnât know how to answer you and frankly, he fucking hates this question.
âuh, why are you asking meââ
âwhat was the other thing?â you ask, already suspecting it. âare you going to ask me to marry you tonight?â you blurt.Â
he shoves his hand in his pocket.Â
âjungkook, are you asking me to marry you tonight? yes or no?â
he blinks at you.Â
his heart is prepared more than ever; âyes.â
âdonât.â
jungkookâs heart drops.
âdonât because youâre saying no or donât because you want a better proposal?â he attempts to lighten the mood with a smile. he takes his hands out of his pocket and reaches for yours. you donât let him take it. instead, you shake your head.
âdonât because you donât even know why weâre broken up.â
instantly, the tension between you two increases. itâs through the roof, actually. it feels like one wrong word, one wrong move, one wrong recalled memoryâeverything crumbles.
everything fails.
everything faces the end.
â___, i canât answer your question because iâm not prepared to. honestly, i wasnât prepared for the break-up. it just happened. it grew into one. ___, you never said, âjungkook, itâs over. weâre broken up.â ... no. you said, âjungkook... i canât breathe anymore. i need air. i need space from us,â â thatâs what you said. but to hell with that, right? weâve been sleeping together and itâs not like we hate each other. you love me. i know you do... so i really donât understand why you wonât marry me despite knowing the simple truthââ
you move away from him.
god, itâs so hard to be next to him sometimes.Â
heading to the cabinets, you take out a glass and pour yourself some water. drinking it, you hear jungkook sigh and groan in frustration.
âare we really going to fight tonight?â he asks, annoyed.
you shrug and put your water down. âshouldnât we? itâs kind of overdue.â
jungkook scratches the back of his head. his lips tighten and his mind is already dizzy as he asks;
â___, why did you break up with me?â
a beat.
âi wanted more from you.â
he looks at you confused. âthe fuck does that mean? sex?â
you shake your head.
âjungkook, i was moving up with my career. you were constantly annoyed that i was overworking myself and that i only cared about zion. you were always mad at me when i brought up workâespecially about yours. you didnât want more. you refused the promotions and all the different leadership roles. you refused more hoursâyou refused to grow⌠just like now.â
jungkook huffs. âis this about money again? weâve never had issues providing for zion and this lifestyle.â
âagain?â you chuckle. âhoney, it wasnât about the money. at least to me, it wasnât. i love you and would have married you regardless of my career path and yoursââ
âthen why wonât you marry me? you always say you will but you say shit like this. you know it fucks me up, right? this isnât fair. you canât keep changing your mind.â
âitâs not that i donât know what you are to me and what i want,â you take a deep breath. it feels painful to be right. âitâs that marrying you isnât going to make any of this easier. at least, not right now.â
his eyes are filled with hope.Â
hope that maybe the reason is childish and not what he knows it really is. he hopes itâs because he left one too many socks inches away from the laundry hamper in your bedroom. he hopes itâs because you got tired of him always queuing his karaoke songs in the car before yours. he hopes itâs because (not really) you actually took an interest in nam joon or something.
most of all, he hopes itâs not what he knows it is.
âjungkook, we were disagreeing on everything. you thought i was greedy for wanting more for myselfâfor our familyââ
âso itâs about whether or not i accept the job offer? i still have a month to think about it. i canât just leave you and zion. you get that, right? i donât just leave.â jungkook scoffs in disbelief. âand you act like i didnât just get promoted. i accepted it, didnât i? i did so to impress you because i love you. i did it to win you back because i love you.â
âbut why didnât you do it for yourself?â you fuse. âwhy canât you want more for yourself?â
â___, i love youââ
you hiss, taking a step away from him. âstop saying you love me when youââ
âwhen i what?â jungkook steadies his tone. âwhen i made a decision that you didnât like? ___, i made a practical choice back then. what other option did i have?â
âyou chose wrong,â you cry. âis that what youâve been waiting for me to say? jungkook, you chose wrong because you were afraid! it wasnât practical. it was safe. you took the settlement, forgave those friends, and looked stupid while doing it. meanwhile, i risked everything. i fucking fought for you! for what? jungkook, it ruined us.â
jungkook shifts, taking a step closer to you. he runs his hands through his hair and groans.
â___, they have a family too. they fucked up and they apologized. i didnât go through with the lawsuit because regardless if they deserved itâtheir families didnât. their children didnât. for fucks sake, one of them has a daughter zionâs ageââ
a sob escapes your lips.Â
jungkookâs shoulders slump as he lowers his head. you lower yours too, feeling your tears roll down your cheeks.
âjungkook, i love you,â you weakly admit. âi swear to god, i have never loved anyone more in my life than i have ever loved you. youâre the kindest man iâve ever met. you empathize with others and put them before your needs. you chased me around like a fucking dog for the last 9 months, completely disregarding any self-respect. truth be told, you gave me a purpose to live. you made me zionâs mom and the love of your life. in so many ways, i donât deserve you�� but i also donât deserve this. it feels like even when i can't trust youâi still do. it ruins me, jungkook.â
angry, jungkook disagrees.
âwhat are you fucking talking aboutâno. donât say shit like that.â
âyou kept me together for so long that i donât know how to fall apart if youâre not around. jungkook, i had to fall apart. i was so tired then. i was so unhappy and everything you did to hold me together only angered me. it lit this fire inside of me and i felt like i couldnât touch anything or anyone⌠why couldnât you just be sad with me?â
âyou fell apart before i could even process what happenedââ he recalls, tears threatening his eyes. â___, i was devastated beyond belief. i was sad too. i was afraid too. you donât think i wanted to cry in bed all day with you? i had to get up. i had to take care of zion and iâm sorry if i held onto you tighter than i should haveâbut i had to. there was no other way i couldâve lived if i didnât hold on to you like that. youâre my air. i love you, ___ and in case you didnât know; it hurt me too. losing ourâh-holy fuck. i love you. ___, i love you. please, i love you so muchââ
you sob.
you donât even try to hold yourself together. a heavy cry escapes your lips and jungkook instantly lifts his head and comes to you. he wraps you in his arms as you cry into them.
âi love you,â you whimper. âi donât blame you for itâreally, i donât. b-but why did you stay? i worked so hard and you chose to stay. i stressed myself out and couldnât sleep. i felt so betrayed and i wasnât eatingââ
âi know, i know,â he murmurs, holding back his sobs. âi hate myself for it. it was my faultââ
âdonâtââ
you pull away and hit his chest.Â
your eyes sting from all the crying and your throat feels dry. yet, every fiber inside of you feels like itâs on fire. it feels like youâre burning down the room and all jungkook wants to do is slow dance in it.
âjungkook, when you settled, it took something from us. something beautifulâour secondâour time.â you slow your breathing to gather the courage to say it.Â
to say everything.Â
to say it all and maybe, save it all.
âhoney, i d-destroyed and hurt more than you did... and i know you donât blame me; but am i ever going to stop blaming m-myself?â you sob. âiâm pushed into t-this... corner where itâs all my faultâand it is, you know? if i hadnât stressed myself over your case and just f-focused on making partner at the firmâif i had just i-ignored the f-feeling of the knife you twistedâit was supposed to be this time around.â
jungkookâs heart breaks.
â9 months...â you say, voice trembling.
âdonât say it like that,â jungkook begs. âmy love, i didnât forget.â
thatâs just it.
he hasnât forgotten either.
yet, his body doesnât ache like yours does. as much as your heart wants to forgive and find beauty in this tragedyâyour body hasnât healed. all those months ago, when you focused on jungkookâs case and stressed yourself to the boneâyou made a mistake. you neglected your health to prioritize everything but yourself.
your breath hitches as you recall everything. a part of you feels relieved to have said it all aloud, but inside, it feels like something has burnt upâlike a part of you has died.
you reach for him, cupping his cheeks in your hands. jungkookâs tears spill over, and you gently wipe them away with your thumb.
his body collapses into yours. his sobs wrack his chest as he buries his face in your arms.
jungkook cries for the break-up.
for the hurt thatâs grown between you two.
he blames himself even though deep down he knows itâs not his fault.
the ache in his chest feels unbearable. you tighten your hold on him, bracing yourself for what comes next, but before you can speak, your body gives in.
everything does dizzy and you hold your breath.
suddenly, your knees hit the floor, and you collapse in front of jungkook, the weight of it all too much to bear.
âiâm s-sorry,â you choke out. "i can'tâfuck. i'm so heartbroken, jungkook. i can'tâ"
jungkook drops down beside you, pulling you into him. as you cling to each other, you feel his heart racing, his breath catching in his sobs, mirroring your own. he holds you tighter, as if he could take all your pain into himself. if he could, you know he would.
and somehow, in the midst of this overwhelming pain, you feel the strangest thing.
this has to be the most painful moment in your entire relationship, but itâs also the most healing.
after nine months of distance, you finally grieve together.
the grief overwhelms you two.
after what feels like an eternity, you manage to compose yourself, pulling away from his embrace. meanwhile, jungkook is still crying heavily. you reach up, cupping his face in your hands again, wiping the tears from his swollen eyes. he leans into your touch, his lips pressing softly against the palm of your hand, his breathing slowly calming down. but then, he moves closer, and you know whatâs coming next.
jungkook tries to kiss you.
you push him away gently, your heart breaking all over again.
â... i think you should go home,â you whisper, your voice tired and cracked.
"___, pleaseâ"
"we fought enough tonight. i don't have anything left in me, jungkook... just go."
for a moment, silence hangs in the air, thick with everything left unsaid. there's still more. he swears it. he knows it because his heart races with so many more confessions. so many more things he has to tell you.
like the fact that when you cleared his name, he never felt so loved in his life.
like the fact that when you stressed yourself over him and got upset with his decisionâhe wanted to take everything back.
like the fact that when he let you cry in bed all day over the loss, he cried as he held and fed zion in the living room.
but now is not the time.
now, the hurt aches and he has to let it. he has to let you fall apart. he has to feel this too because if he doesn'tâthen he misses it all. he misses everything and he can't do that.
he needs to know.
he needs to learn.
he needs to love.
jungkook swallows hard, his voice barely a whisper. âokay⌠whatever you want.â
you both stand, your movements slow and heavy. you watch as he gathers his belongings, guilt and disappointment twisting in your stomach. at the door, he pauses, eyes closed as he takes a deep breath.
âwhat about me?â
his voice breaks the stillness. you feel your heart sink.
âwhat about you?â you ask softly, though you already know the answer.
â___, i donât want to go,â he pleads, desperation creeping into his voice. âi⌠i canât do this. not again.â
âwhat do you mean?â you force a weak smile. âthis is our first break-up.â
âfor real?â
you let out a sad laugh, though it holds no real humor.
âfor now.â
jungkook takes a second to compose himself.
âiâm gonna pick up zion and have him sleep over at mine... and itâs okay if youâre still full⌠just eat a late dinner,â he murmurs softly, eyes cast downward. then, turning toward the door, he looks back one last time, his voice soft but filled with emotion.
âfor the record, i thought i was home⌠but if air, space, and time is what you need, so be it. just know, i hope iâm it in the end. i hope iâm what you need.â
they say the 3-year itch is when the sand timer runs out. it takes two people to flip it over and restart the clock. at your 3-year itch with jungkook, suddenly your careers were where you two scratched.
then, the plagiarism accusations came along. as horrible as it was, you thought this was the perfect opportunity to show jungkook how much you love him. how much were you willing to do for him, and how much could your career benefit you two? at the peak of all this, you didnât know it.
you were carrying more than just work.
at 5 weeks, 1 week after jungkook settledâtime was up.
jungkook sits in his car, crying and staring at the ring that should be on your finger. he canât help but feel all the sides of it. he shoves it back inside the box and opens the glove compartment. throwing it in, he continues to reflect.Â
was he insensitive? was he so wrong about not wanting to take the job? the proposal was ill-timed, but was he crazy? werenât you two doing better? ⌠were you hurting all by yourself this entire time? of course, he hurt too. he was just grieving differently⌠does that make this his fault? he doesnât know. he doesnât care. in the end, losing something is still losing something.Â
truth be told, itâs no oneâs fault.Â
yet, jungkook hits his steering wheel and continues to sob. he wants to blame something. he needs to. as he searches, his heart screams out;
time.
#jungkook angst#jungkook x yn#jungkook fic#bts angst#jungkook scenario#jungkook dilf#bts scenario#bts imagine#bts parent au#bts fic#jungkook dad au#jungkook exes to lovers#jungkook e2l#jk fic rec
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Time Traveller AU part 9
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 10 is here.
"I think you should take off your veil now. You need to impress the princes so that one of them could take pity and marry you. Or you could try black magic-"
"Baris, I will pull your tongue out and strangle you with it if you say another word." You muttered, holding your head in your hands.
After Baris landed the "marriage bomb" on you last night, you've been stressed. Why did I have to teach Mihirmah? Why did I have to accept the bracelet? Why did I-
"You have bags under your eyes, and considering that they're the only feature visible, its not good-" You threw a pillow at him, which he dodged easily. You hadnt slept at all, how could you? You tried to figure out a plan, that didnt work. You tried to fix your time machine, that was not going to work at all without tools.
"You could be wrong." You mumbled, opening your eyes as you stared ahead. "This bracelet could be nothing but just a kind gesture. It is not a marriage proposal. You're wrong-"
Baris cut you off. "I know it seems impossible, considering how you look, even I'm surprised- but I'm never wrong, Y/n. I've worked here for more 25 years, I know what everyone thinks." You stared at him with a pinched expression.
"You have to help me, Baris."
He smiled. "Of course, you'd be lost cause else wise! I'll get the seamstress to make you some new clothes-"
"No, I meant- you have to help me escape. I cant- I dont want to get married!"
He scoffed. "Darling, we're alone right now. You can drop the "I dont wanna marry a prince and enjoy the luxuries of the world" act."
"I mean it!" You huff.
"And why is that?"
"Because-" you bit your lip. What excuse can you possibly come up with to satisfy him?
"I love someone else."
"How tragic." He said monotonously. "Love has no place in the harem. You're here to attract, serve and please the royal family." He walked closer to you, leaning down as he lowered his volume. "And I'm going to give you some advice: you better not use that excuse again, never even MUMBLE about having a lover again, not unless you want to be tortured and executed for being a traitor."
You knew what he was referring to. The harem, the concubines, the whole palace was filled with jealousy. If anyone were to hear about this, they would use it against you, conjure up such vulgar lies that the sultan will chop off your head.
"Baris I cant-"
"You dont have a choice, Y/n." He cut you off harshly. "I suggest you suck it up and pretend to be happy or else you'll be in for a hard life."
"Now, get ready. You need to teach a lesson."
-
"You look sick."
You resist rolling your eyes. "Yes, I know I'm ugly. Thank you for keeping me updated."
Mihirmah shook her head. "No, I mean you dont look well. Are you alright?"
No, I lost sleep because of you and-
"Just tired, Mihirmah. I think we've should stop here today." You watched her beam.
"Finally! Now we can celebrate!" Mihirmah clapped her hands as the servants brought in some tea and sweets. She had initially wanted to celebrate her victory from last night as soon as you came in, but you wanted to get the lesson done with so that you could leave.
"You enjoy it. You did a good job." You tried to excuse herself but she frowned.
"I did. And so did you! I mean, the way you made Mahidevran shut up! It was amazing!" She took a piece of sweet and handed it to you. "Besides, my father appreciated your efforts as well-"
You looked down at the bracelet. This was more of a death sentence than a gift.
"Mihirmah." You took off your bracelet. "I- I appreciate the sultan's gift, but I cant accept this. Its too much- its-" you mentally rolled your eyes at your next excuse. "Its above me."
She furrowed her brows. "Even if that may be the case, which its not because you fully deserve that after the showdown, you still cannot refuse or return a sultan's gift, much less one that he made himself!" She tilted her head. "What is really going on? Why do you not want the bracelet? And dont say its not to your taste, because lets face it- you probably have not seen jewels like this in your life."
Biting the inside of your cheek to prevent the insults from slipping out, you took a breath.
"I... heard that..." you took another breath. How do you say "I dont want the bracelet because I dont wanna marry any of your brothers" without sounding narcissistic. "I... I heard that there might be a different meaning behind the bracelet. That it may signify... something else."
"Which is...?" She prompted you.
You exhaled.
"That I might be considered to be... a spouse for a sehzade."
Mihirmah snorted as you looked down to conceal both your embarrassment and fear.
"I'm sorry- what did you say?" She was laughing now. You continued to look down. As long as she's laughing and not getting mad at you for even suggesting such a thing, you're fine. Besides, if she's laughing then it means that all that bullshit Baris was spewing earlier was just that- bullshit.
"You think- my father, the sultan, wants you- YOU, to marry one of his sons?" She wiped a tear away from her eye as she laughed. "That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard. True, father does only give handmade gifts to those he considers close, but I dont think thats true in your case, Y/n. You're just my teacher, that's all. Besides, even if you were to be considered as a potential spouse for my brothers, you have my mother and Mahivdevran standing in your way. And trust me, they're going to marry their sons to someone they like. You- they cant even tolerate you as my teacher at this point of time."
Sighing in relief, you nod. "Well, that's great to hear-"
"Wait." Mihirmah narrows her eyes at you. "If you thought that my father wanted to marry you to one of his sons, why did you want to return the bracelet? Did you- did you not want to marry my brother?"
Oh shit. "Mihirmah no-" You tried to pacify her.
But she snapped at you. "What? You think you're better than my brothers? Any of them? You'd be lucky if Mehmed or Mustafa chose you, if such a miracle does happen."
Your eyes were wide at her venomous tone. You dont know whether it was because she was protective of her brothers, or if she just really hated the idea that you would consider rejecting royalty.
A few more moments of silence went by. "You misunderstand me, sultana." You chose her title to please her. "I know of my status, and I am well aware of how... lowly I am to be a part of this family. The only reason I was returning the bracelet was because... I didnt want the harem to assume things and threaten or hurt me. I am aware that the sehzade have their favourite concubines, much better equipped to their tastes. But if they were to see this bracelet gifted by the sultan on me, they would... it would cause misunderstandings. I just wanted to avoid that."
Your words were carefully selected to not aggravate her any further, which it didnt but they also didnt calm her down.
Mihirmah's face was still sour. "The concubines are smart enough to figure out who's a competition and who's just a mere servant. You have nothing to worry about."
The words stung but... you just bowed and took your leave instead of slapping her across the face.
Mehmed had just turned the corner when he saw you leaving Mihirmah's room with tears pooling in your eyes, the niqaab only causing them to look more prominent.
He entered Mihirmah's room, finding his sister looking angry as she gazed into space.
"Mihirmah?" He sat down beside her, noticing how she didnt immediately light up as she always did when he came. What did you do to piss her off so much?
He cupped her face to look at him. "What's wrong? Tell me."
-
You're laying in your bed, arm over your eyes as you try to think of a way out of here.
When will the time machine work again?
Its not like you can go out of the palace to get help or even tools to work on it, and you always fear that someone just may walk in on you tinkering with the machine. The only place where you can get privacy in this palace here is the dungeons, only because its dark and oh-so-daunting that it doesnt really attract people there.
There's a knock on your door. With a grunt, you get up and open the door, only to find no one there. Your room was in the harem, but it was on the upper floor, so you could see the whole area from above, including the silhouette of someone leaving the harem doors.
Normally, you wouldn't have bothered with the "door bell pranks", but you made your way down because 1. you're not familiar with what this might mean, maybe some royal summoned you and you're to follow the servant. 2. you're bored.
When you left the harem and looked to your left, spotting the back of a girl in red dress, you knew she was baiting you to follow her. So you did, turning around the corridor only to be body slammed to the wall.
3 women surround you, blocking any escape routes. They're all glaring at you, and you recognise their faces. They're the concubines.
You clear your throat. "Well? I suppose you have something to say that you couldnt say in there."
The brunette in front of you narrows her eyes. "Who do you think you are?"
"Why dont you tell me?"
Her glare intensifies. "You think you can just bat your lashes and whore yourself to the sehzade?"
"Heh?"
The raven haired girl on her right grabbed your throat and banged your head against the wall behind. "Dont play dumb! We know you're trying to marry the prince!"
The blonde on the left banged your head against the wall this time, gritting out "Stay away from sehzade Mustafa!"
"And sehzade Mehmed!" the brunette warned, repeating the same assault as the other two.
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you rubbed the sore spot on the back of your head. "None of your accusations are true. Unlike you, I actually have a respectable job here-"
"We saw the bracelet! You think you can just prance around here, pretending to be this holy and pure, untainted girl while we work ourselves to the bone to get in bed?!" The brunette screamed at you, getting in your face.
You pushed her away. "First of all, I am not interested in marrying anyone. Secondly, the bracelet means nothing than a job well done. And finally- you seem to mistake your status over me. I dont work for you, or under you. So, this is for earlier-" You slapped her hard across the face, making her fall. The other two were in shock, and you took that as an opputunity to slap them too.
"Now, we're even." You huffed, adjusting your niqaab before turning on your heel to leave. You needed to slap them, not only because you need to let them know they cant bully you, but also because you needed to release some steam. It felt good, you wont lie. You may have even imagined some people's faces as you smacked them-
"Omph!" You're pushed to the ground, flipped over onto your back. You grab on to the hands that are wrapped around your neck, eyes wide as the brunette starts to choke you.
"You stupid bitch!" She screamed as you fought hard to pull her hands away. She yanked the veil off your face, smacking your cheek hard enough to scratch you with her sharp nails.
"Laira stop-" the blonde tried to pull her off you but Laira continued to beat you.
"Hand me the torch!"
"Laira-" The blonde started again but the raven haired grabbed the fire sconce off the wall and handed it to Laira.
You stared in horror as she brought the torch closer to your face, the heat radiating. She grinned manically, one hand still squeezing your throat.
"You're not even that pretty for a sehzade. Did you use black magic on them?" She clicked her tongue, while your eyes were fixated on the torch. "I guess, it wont be futile to ruin your face for guarantee."
"Please no-" she choked you harder with her man hands that you just couldnt seem to pry off, and you sort of became paralysed as the dancing flames took you back to the night in the desert, when the assassins set your tent on fire. Everything slowed down, and noise drowned out like in the movies.
Salauddin. Help-
The flames suddenly vanish from your view as Laira is thrown off you.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" The man roared behind you. Your eyes moved from the shaking concubines to your saviour.
Ibrahim pasha.
"Pasha bey-"
"Shut it. Guards! Throw them to the dungeons!" Ibrahim yelled and automatically, 4 Janisarries appeared from behind him and dragged the wailing girls away.
Ibrahim looks down at you, his eyes shifting from rage to sympathy. He crouches down and helps you sit up, his touch gentle.
"Are you alright, Hatun Y/n?" You're staring at him in a daze, your body has not recovered enough to physically react, almost on autopilot.
Say something.
"Y/n?" He asks again, his brows furrowing as his concern deepens. Why does everything sound so far, so low?
He snaps his fingers near your ear, and your brain finally reacts.
"Y-yes." You tear your gaze away, looking at the fire torch lying on the ground far from you.
Fire. Second time you were almost burnt to death.
"Come on." He helps you up, gently tugging you to follow him. A few shaky steps later, you follow him to your room.
He sat you down on the bed. "There we go." Ibrahim pasha scanned your face for any burns or injuries, noting the nail marks from the slap.
"Baris Agha!" Ibrahim called and a few seconds later, the eunuch stumbled in.
"Yes, pasha- ya Allah, what happened to-"
"Baris." Ibrahim snapped at him. "Get me bandages and healing balm. And keep quiet about this." Baris only nodded before following orders.
You cleared your throat. "I... thank you for saving me, pasha." Ibrahim smiled courteously as he sat on a chair nearby.
"It was my duty. Sultan Suleiman had asked me to keep an eye on you."
Your brows furrowed. "Why?"
Ibrahim looked at the bracelet around your wrist. "I suppose you did something to make him pleased."
He relaxed in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. "So... what happened with the concubines?"
"Misunderstanding." You said dismissively.
"And what that might be?" He prodded. When you didnt reply, he sighed. "I am the pasha, the sultan's right hand. I am supposed to know what happens in the palace."
"Its nothing of significance. You can let the girls out of the dungeon."
"I'm afraid that decision is not upto you." Ibrahim deadpanned. "If you do not wish to tell me, fine. I have other ways of finding out." He made his threat clear and began standing up.
"Wait!" You clenched your niqaab, looking at the veil in your lap. "I'll tell you, but... you cant tell anyone."
Ibrahim stared at you before nodding, sitting back down.
"There may have been a rumour... the cocncubines- they think that the bracelet, a gift from the sultan means that I am... special." You mumbled the last word.
"Special how?"
"They think... that the sultan wants me to be his... daughter-in-law. Actually, they think that I am wooing the sehzades- Mustafa and Mehmed."
"And are you?" He asks immeadiately.
"Of course not!"
"Why not? Anyone would love to marry a prince."
You scoffed. "I would never want to be a part of this family, not even as a teacher."
He raised a brow. "Hate the Ottomans?" You shake your head. "No. But I wouldn't want to be a part of it." You clicked your tongue. "Everyone in this palace is a slave. The concubines, the servants, the wives, the kids, you and me too. The wives of the sultan, they have all the luxuries one could imagine... except for the loyalty of their husband. Not to mention, they have to live in constant fear of being replaced and be in paranoia forever because everyone who is not family, is a threat to her. The kids? If you're born a boy, sure- you are immediately given a superior status, but with such power and princely status also comes with its own drawbacks. The boy will have to always be compete with his brothers, not because he wants to be the next sultan, but for survival."
In Ottoman empire, there was a common practice of fratricide- a tradition where once the next sultan is chosen, the new sultan is allowed LEGALLY to kill his brothers, stepbrothers, nephews and even female relatives (sisters included) as well, so as to get rid of any future competition or betrayal by his own family. In a nutshell, it was done to prevent civil wars.
"If you're born as a girl, then you may have a better chance of survival than your brothers, but that's still not guaranteed. Not to mention, you are raised to be married off to someone that will strengthen the royal family. Not to someone you love." Ibrahim watched you as you continued. "Its not better to be a servant either. Always being threatened, questioned about your loyalty, having to take the fall for the higher ups. The eunuchs, who think they are all high and mighty and control the court, you and I both know that their job to "protect the women of the harem" wasnt even their choice. To be forcefully castrated as children, forcefully ripped from their families, forced to serve the royals... they dont have a choice. I dont have to tell you how degrading it is to be a concubine."
"And me? How am I a slave?" Ibrahim asked.
You smiled sadly. "You know very well, and youre just trying to see how much I know. Your past is not a well kept secret, pasha." You kept quiet, and Ibrahim realised you already knew about his life.
Ibrahim, born as Orthodox Christian, was enslaved during his childhood. He and Suleiman became close friends in their youth, or perhaps forced to convert to Islam and then raised to befriend Suleiman. Suleiman appointed Ibrahim as grand vizier when he took the throne.
"How do you know?" Ibrahim's gaze was sharp. "I know a lot of things, pasha. But dont worry, I have no ill intent. If anything, I want to be as far from this life as possible. Perhaps... you could help me with that?"
He raised a brow. "I dont think that is an option for you right now." At your frown, he explained. "The safest place for a woman like you is here."
"Did you just forget that my face was almost burned off moments ago?"
He chuckled, shaking his hand. "Of course not. But you need to understand that you cannot just up and go without a word, especially after the sultan just gave you a handmade gift, and whether or not it signifies that he's considered you for one of his sons, it does mean that he considers you important. His majesty will not just accept your leave for no reason." Ibrahim leaned forward, clasping his hands. "As for your safety, you can leave that to me. I will make sure no harm befalls you again. I promise."
"But what about the sehzade? The rumours?"
He hummed thoughtfully. "If you're so concerned about that matter, then you should just avoid the princes as much as you can. Keep your niqaab on, continue your lessons with the princess and avoid interacting with people as much as you can."
Well, its not a bad suggestion. If you make yourself scarce and draw less attention to yourself, you can slip out of the palace and leave unnoticed.
"Oh, pasha?" You called him as he stood up to leave. "Can I request you not to tell about this incident to anyone?" You pointed to bruises on your face.
He grinned and nodded. "Of course. But it is not me you should be worried about talking." At your confused face, he chuckled.
"Baris Agha still hasnt returned."
-
Mihirmah and Mehmed were in your room just a few moments after Ibrahim pasha had fetched the bandages from below and treated your wounds, further confirming that Baris was spreading the news about your attack all over the palace.
"Y/n! Who did this to you?" Mihirmah traced the bruises gently as she sat beside you on the bed, while Mehmed sat in front of you, on the seat previously occupied by Ibrahim pasha- just closer this time.
"I dont know." You lied, pulling yourself away from Mihirmah's concerned touches. Oh you're still mad at her.
Your evasiveness didnt go unnoticed by her, as she dropped her hand and her mouth settled into a thin grim line.
"Why did someone attack you? What happened?" Mehmed asked, cutting the tension.
You shrugged. "I dont know." You fiddled with the niqaab in your lap. There's a big bandage on your cheeks, so while you couldnt exactly wear your veil again, you suppose in a way your face was somewhat covered?
"Probably mistook me for someone else. Or just a misunderstanding." You tried to brush this off.
"Still, it shouldnt warrant such a reaction. We should investigate-" Mehmed started but you shook your head.
"Ibrahim pasha is already looking into the matter. He'll take care of it-"
"I am the sehzade. I will look into this personally." Mehmed stated before leaving the room before anyone could stop him. Ah, to be the knight in shinning armour for a distressed damsel.
You and Mihirmah sat alone now. The air in the room was thick, the silence thicker. Mihirmah glanced at your nonchalant face, your eyes fixated on the ground, not caring how uncomfortable the silence was making the princess.
It was clear she had to break the ice.
"Y/n." She called. "Yes, sultana?" You answered, but your eyes still remained on the ground.
Sultana. Not Mihirmah, like she'd allowed you to call her, but sultana.
She pursed her lips. "I..." She paused. What is she supposed to say? Sorry? The word is as foreign to her as it is to any royal.
"I dont like the things you said this morning." She finally stated. "You shouldnt have said those things."
You resisted the urge to scoff. Is she really trying to pin this on you and make you apologise? Entitled brat-
"You're right, sultana. I was out of line. I suggest we should just stick to our lessons and avoid talking about anything else. I'll be careful not to bring up any other topic." You stated monotonously.
Mihirmah frowned. Why are you saying this? Why are you being so difficult?
"Stop it." She warned. You nodded. "As you wish, sultana. I'll arrange another Quran teacher for you." Your words only enraged her further.
"I said- stop it." She ordered but you're hell bent on making her apologise- a dream, but still. You clicked your tongue. "I suppose I'll hand in my resignation to the sultan and explain to His Majesty that it was my fault for being a useless servant who is just not capable- ow!" You finally looked at her in disbelief.
She pinched you. Mihirmah pinched your arm. Hard.
And she had the gall to glare at you, with some anger and remorse in her eyes.
"What did you do that for?" You spat, hissing as you rubbed the area she'd assaulted. There was going to be a bruise, for sure.
Her frown deepened. "You- I told you to stop, didn't I?!" You watched her trying to contain her rage, her body shaking as she tried not to wrangle you by the neck. "I- I dont want you to leave."
"But sultana-" "Mihirmah. You call me Mihirmah." She emphasised.
You bit the inside of your cheek to suppress your smile. "I am just a dispensable servant-" You jumped back when she went to pinch you again.
"Will you stop doing that?!" Your arm still hurt from her first attack. Mihirmah's nostrils flared. "Will you stop acting like a brat?!"
Your throat made a sound of disbelief. "I am acting like a brat?! Have you looked in the mirror recently?"
"Yes and I look very beautiful! Unlike your busted face!"
"Oh so you just get to insult me?" "I am not insulting you! I am DESCRIBING YOU!" She screamed as you glared at her. Mihirmah took a few deep breaths to calm down. "I am not calling you ugly, I was just referring to the bruises on your face. How did you manage to get beat up so badly? Did you not learn anything from my sparring lessons?"
"Sparring lessons? You mean the times where you would flip me on my back or throw me against the wall?" She glared at your accusation. "How is it my fault that you dont fight back?"
Mihirmah's gaze flicked the arm you were holding, the one she'd pinched. "Does it still hurt?" Her voice was much softer this time.
"Would you like me to pinch you back to demonstrate how much it hurt?" You spat back and she scoffed. "I didnt pinch you that hard. You're just sensitive." "Sure, you must only have meaty man fingers." You grumbled as she gasped and smacked your bruised arm, making you hiss.
The two of you glared at each other before Mihirmah wrapped her arms around you and looked up at you with a small pout.
"This doesnt work on me." You muttered, making her grip tighten around you.
"You know you're not a servant." Mihirmah whispered, looking up at you with puppy eyes, but only you knew the real Ronda Rousey in her.
"You're my friend, Y/n. Or the closest thing I have to a sister." "If you were planning on beating up your sister, I'm glad your parents didnt have one."
"Shut up, you're ruining the moment." Mihirmah scolded you. "I dont want you to go. I dont want you to be hurt, either. So just- I'm willing to let things go back to the way they were before this morning, if you are."
You stared down at her. You knew you were never going to get a real apology, Mihirmah was too prideful. You couldnt make her feel ashamed for her actions, or hold her responsible. So, you'll have to make do with this.
"Fine." She broke into a grin and squeezed her arms around you tightly before letting go.
"Now, tell me! Who were these girls who attacked you? I'll skin them with my daggers!" Ignoring her sociopathic tendencies, you shrugged. "I dont know, Mihirmah. I dont know who they were- I'm still new to the palace."
She hummed before her face lit up in realisation. "Wait! Baris Agha did say something about concubines. I'll ask Mehmed too when he returns with more information from Ibrahim pasha!"
-
While you are trying your best to hide the incident about your attack, unbeknownst to you, the news has spread like wildfire in the palace. A maid saw Mehmed entering Ibrahim pasha's office, and when she reported it to her friend, she then told her about how she overheard the eunuchs talking about a fight breaking out between the concubines and someone else, and then someone added that they saw Ibrahim pasha, Mehmed and Mihirmah in your room, so you were involved too. It wasnt long before this news reached Hurrem and Mahidevran, only this time it was more dramatised.
"The concubines tried to kill Hatun Y/n! It was only by pure luck that sehzade Mehmed saved her! And now her wounds are being tended to by Mihirmah sultana while sehzade Mehmed and Ibrahim pasha are punishing the concubines!" Gul, the chamber maid, told Mahidevran.
Mahidevran narrowed her eyes. "Why did they save her? She's just a teacher." The queen didnt understand why the royal children were going through such lengths to get justice for you. Fights in the harem break out all the time.
Gul fumbled with her thumbs, avoiding eye contact with her queen. Mahidevran's frown deepened. "What is it, Gul?"
"I- sultana- I just heard some rumors, its probably not even true-" "Out with it!" Mahidevran snapped.
Gul licked her lips as she spoke. "Um- I overheard that sehzade Mehmed has been... spending a lot of time with Hatun Y/n. Especially after the dinner where Mihirmah sultana recited-"
Mehmed... spending time with you? Why? If he wanted to sleep with you, he could have any girl from the harem. So why you? Why you, a Quran teacher, a conservative girl who covered herself from head to toe? Surely, Mehmed hadnt been bewitched by your physical appearance- not that you had any, in her opinion. And then Suleiman seemed to like you to, so for Mehmed to fancy you would be because-
Mahidevran's eyes widened at the sudden realisation.
"Get me Mustafa. Now!"
-
"Hatun Y/n was attacked by the concubines! Ibrahim pasha saved her and carried her unconscious form to her room!" A maid reported to Hurrem.
"Why was she attacked?" Hurrem asked, bored.
The maid hesitated to answer. "I am not sure, sultana, but the word is that the concubines were jealous of the attention Hatun Y/n was getting from sehzade Mustafa."
Mustafa? No. What possible business could you have with Mustafa? From the past week's events, Hurrem was told that you'd spend most of your time with her daughter, and only moments with Mehmed when he visited his sister.
"Mustafa isnt interested in Y/n." Hurrem stated, more to herself than to refute the maid's claims.
The girl nodded. "I'm only telling you what I heard, sultana. And... I also saw sehzade Mustafa leaving Mahidevran sultana's chambers to visit Hatun Y/n earlier today, just moments before I came here!"
Hurrem halted as she tried to make sense of the information. Mustafa was out all day because of the hunt, he wasnt supposed to return before dinner. Which means, he was fetched, likely by Mahidevran. Who probably informed him about your attack and now he went to check on you.
But why? Even at the dinner the other day, Hurrem didnt detect any sort of affection from Mustafa for you, or you from him. You both barely glanced at each other.
Maybe he's just checking in on you. That's all it is to it.
"How badly was Y/n injured?" Hurrem inquired.
"I didnt get a chance to see her yet, she's been with Mihirmah sultana since the event, but I heard that her unconscious body had to be carried by Ibrahim pasha himself! And- and that he even bandaged her up-"
"Ibrahim pasha?" Hurrem whispered to herself. What business did he have with you? He could've easily had a servant tend to your wounds, so why did he personally do it himself?
Ibrahim. Mustafa. Mahidevran. What are they upto? Hurrem knows Ibrahim doesnt like her, that he favours Mahidevran and Mustafa over her, that he wants Mustafa to be the next sultan-
Hurrem's heart sinks as she pieces it together.
"Get me Mehmed. Now!"
-
Suleiman was having dinner with his family. Both of his families- Mahidevran and Mustafa joined him tonight as well. He was happy to have them together, all well and healthy.
Except... something was off.
Suleiman's gut could sense it. The children were making small talk, his wives as well, but he could tell. There was some sort of tension.
It was Mihirmah that made him finally speak up.
"Mihirmah." He called out the girl who was playing with her food. "You've barely eaten. What's wrong?"
The room immediately fell dead silent, the attention now focusing on Mihirmah.
She smiled nervously, taking a small bite. "I'm fine, baba."
But Suleiman could see that her usual bubbling aura was somewhat depressing. "Mihirmah." He called her name more sternly, and this time, her smile faltered as she finally spilled.
"I'm just worried for Y/n."
Suleiman frowned. And when he looked at everyone else, it was clear that they knew something he wasn't aware of.
"What happened?"
-
Baris Agha was having fun riling you up. "So, you're telling me that both sehzade Mustafa and Mehmed, the two crown princes racing to be the next sultan, are visited you?" He snickered as you shot him a glare. "Can I just suggest you to remove the niqaab for the wedding-"
"Baris! Shut up!" You raged at him. "Dont think I dont know you were the one spreading the lies about-" "Lies? About what? About you being attacked? By concubines who are jealous of your- I dont know, I'm sorry what it is that these men seem to be enraptured with-"
There are hurried, intense knocks on the door. Baris opens the door as a servant stumbles in, out of breath.
"Hatun Y/n! Sultan Suleiman has summoned you! Now!" His tone signified that you're not to waste time.
"Why did he call for me?" You whisper to Baris as the two of you rush down the hallways.
"Perhaps he wants to formally ask you to marry one of his sons-" "Baris!" He grinned. "What? I have a sixth sense-" "YOU HAVE NO SENSE!" You yelled. "Have more sense than you." Baris grumbled.
"Why are you even following me? Dont you have a job?" You wanted him to stop vexing you.
He snorted. "And what? Miss out on all the fun? Besides, you know as the future sultana, you will need me-"
"I swear, as soon as I'm finished meeting the sultan, I am going to throw you off the roof."
The two of you turned the corner leading to the royal dining hall, and you bumped face first into Ibrahim pasha's back, the man catching you by the arms before you fell on your ass.
"P-pasha? What are you doing here?" You asked, backing up once you got your footing.
"Sultan sent for me. What are you doing here?" Ibrahim asked, equally confused.
"He summoned me as well. What do you think its about?" You watched the cogwheels in his mind turn and the realisation dawn on him.
"The attack earlier." He exhaled, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out his next steps. "We cant- you cant tell him the truth!"
"You want me to lie to the sultan?" He rose his brows. "Please, Ibrahim! I- I told Mihirmah and Mehmed and then Mustafa that I didnt know who the attackers were, or why they attacked me! If you tell them the truth-"
"Y/n." He grabbed your shoulders, staring into your worried eyes. "I promised to protect you, didnt I? I intend on keeping my promises."
You both entered the dining room together, bowing to the royal family sitting there.
"Y/n." You looked up at the sultan. "Is it true? Were you attacked?"
You were quiet for a few moments, resisting the urge to glance at Ibrahim to figure what to say, before nodding hesitantly.
"Y-yes, sultan." You trailed your eyes back to the ground. These people, they were warriors. They didnt have any technology back then, and they had to rely on body language to read people.
And you didnt want to risk him catching you in a lie.
"Are you alright?" Suleiman's voice was much softer now. "Did you go to the infirmary?"
"I'm well now, sultan. Thank you for asking." You meekly answered. "I was saved in time, thanks to Ibrahim pasha."
Mahidevran's eyes narrowed at you. Ibrahim saved you? Of course, you'd lie about that, so that no one would suspect you and Mehmed getting close. She thought to herself.
"Ah, Ibrahim pasha." Suleiman's voice turned serious. "You were the one who saved Y/n?"
"Yes, sultan." Ibrahim confirmed.
"And you have the attackers in custody?"
"Yes, sultan."
Suleiman slammed his fist on the table, rattling everyone. "Then why the hell wasnt I informed of it?!" Ibrahim kept his head down as the sultan continued to rage. "Why does everyone seem to be aware of this matter, except me?! Answer me, Ibrahim!"
Hurrem couldnt help the smile that curled on her lips. She was glad to see Ibrahim getting in trouble, perhaps Suleiman will finally get rid of him for once and for all-
"It's my fault, your majesty!" You announced suddenly, and everyone's focus shifted to you. "I- I was- I was shaken up from the attack and I- I made the pasha stay with me. I was too scared- I didnt think I was safe- so Ibrahim pasha left to make arrangements to assure me I was safe! He was busy because of me. I'm sorry! If- if anyone should be punished, it should be me!"
You held your hands together tightly to stop them from trembling. The room fell silent at your explanation, with you and Ibrahim holding your breaths.
"Is this true, Ibrahim?" Suleiman broke the silence.
"Yes, my sultan." Ibrahim answered. "After I had saved Hatun Y/n, I wanted to assure her of her safety, so I was busy interrogating the concubines who attacked her. After they confessed, I wanted to check if anyone else in the harem had any ill intentions for Hatun Y/n, so I was engaged in checking everyone who could be a possible threat. I was on my way to inform you, but you summoned me before I could."
"Concubines? Why did they attack Y/n?" Suleiman asked, wanting to know the result of his interrogation.
Ibrahim answered without missing a beat. "They were jealous of Hatun Y/n's bracelet." You looked at him but the pasha kept his eyes ahead at the sultan. "From what I gathered, Hatun Y/n refused to give up His Majesty's handmade gift, and when she put up a fight to defend your present, she was subjected to a harsh beating and had her face almost burned."
Suleiman's eyes widened. "Burned? Because of a bracelet?"
"It was what the bracelet represented, my sultan." Ibrahim's statement made your heart sink. He better not tell him about the "daughter-in-law" theory.
"The concubines think that you... favour Y/n over them." Ibrahim's words set fire to your cheeks and you had to bite your lip to suppress the gasp you almost let out.
Ibrahim decided to change the "daughter-in-law" theory to "3rd wife/bedwarmer theory".
"What rubbish?!" Suleiman slammed his fist on the table again, and perhaps everyone in the room was silently grateful for his rage and disbelief, as it disapproved the theory and quelled any future rumours. "I only see Y/n as my daughter, nothing else! How dare they slander me like that?! How dare they hurt someone I care about?! Ibrahim, execute those wretched concubines!"
Your eyes widened at the order. Preventing their death sentence was the only reason you lied and kept this charade up. You cant risk more people dying and history changing forever because of you!
"Y-your majesty!" You fell to your knees, your voice wet. "I- I beg you- I beg you on the behalf of the concubines, please- have mercy!"
Everyone watched in surprise as you cried for mercy for... your attackers?
"You... want me to forgive them? Despite what they did to you?" Suleiman asked, watching in disbelief at your tears wetting your niqaab.
"It- it was wrong- but please, they're just- they're just young girls. They made a mistake, they shouldnt pay with their lives!" You tried to come up with better reasoning. Aha!
"Sultan, I- we are Muslims. You are a role model for Muslims all over the world right now- but you have a role model as well- someone you havent met or seen, but you follow his advices and footsteps every day. Its Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)- and- and he advices us to be forgiving and merciful." Ibrahim watched you try to persuade the king.
"On the Day of Judgement, when we beg and grovel Allah for forgiveness, would He not forgive us happily if we show mercy to His creatures? If we forgive His mankind?" You pleaded and Suleiman was touched by your words, so-much-so that he walked over to you and pulled you by your shoulders before pressing a kiss to your veiled forehead.
"You're too kind, Y/n." He whispered, before nodding at Ibrahim. "Dont kill the concubines. But find a fitting punishment for them, Ibrahim." The pasha bowed his head obediently.
"And find Y/n her personal chambers in the royal wing." Suleiman stated, making everyone surprised.
No. Room in the royal wing only meant more contact with the royals themselves. This was the last thing you needed-
"Your majesty-" He held up a hand. "Dont protest, Y/n. You were hurt because of my present and while I appreciate that you defended it, I do not wish to see you hurt. Ibrahim, find her a room and shift her there by tonight. And assign a few guards and servants to Y/n as well. I dont want her to feel unsafe again." Suleiman looked at Ibrahim with a serious expression. "I trust her in your hands, Ibrahim."
"Of course, your majesty." Ibrahim nodded.
Suleiman looked back at you, a gentle smile on his face. "I would like you to join us for dinners now." He gently pushed your back and Mahidevran immediately scooted a bit closer to Suleiman's seat and patted the space beside her... and next to Mustafa.
Hurrem glared at the blatant display of intentions- Mahidevran showed her "generosity and humbleness" by letting you sit next to her to please Suleiman, and also make you sit next to her son to get close with.
At this moment, both queens are under the impression that Suleiman wants you to be his future daughter-in-law, so both women think that the other is making her son court you because the first one to marry you will produce a heir, further legitimising the prince's claim to the throne and becoming the next sultan, especially since Suleiman views you to be the perfect, pious woman who would be the perfect mother for his grandkids.
The only difference is- Mahidevran wants you to be Mustafa's spouse, not because she thinks you're a good match for her perfect son, but because she wants to speed up Mustafa's claim to the throne. She knows Suleiman prefers Hurrem over her (Hurrem's five kids are proof of that), and since she has no child other than Mustafa, Mahidevran is at disadvantage and she needs every advantage she can get, no matter how savoury it is- like you.
Hurrem on the other hand, does not want you as her Mehmed's spouse, because you're not what she had in mind for her precious son. She wants someone soft, demure, submissive, beautiful and more importantly- someone she can control. But she also knows what game Mahidevran is playing, and since Hurrem doesnt want Mustafa trying to steal the throne from Mehmed, Hurrem will have to just- get rid of you.
-
"So... the sultan just said that outloud?" Baris ate a date from the fancy table in your brand new chambers. "He just announced that you're his "daughter" to everyone?" He heard you groan a yes from your place on the bed- face buried in the pillows.
"And Mahidevran sultana made you sit between her and sehzade Mustafa?" He heard you groan another "yes".
Baris plopped down next to you. "So you're marrying Mustafa. Huh, didnt bet on that-"
"You bet on this?" You asked miserably, finally pulling your head up. "Of course, need to make money. Unlike you, not everyone has the oppurtunity to marry into royalty-"
You smack a pillow right across his face. "If I hear you talk about marriage again, I will strangle you."
Baris rolled his eyes, fixing his hair that you'd messed up. "I dont know why you're so upset. Did you want to sit next to Mehmed instead? If so, maybe I can still win the bet-"
"I dont want either of them!" You stated frustratedly, sitting up. "Do you not get it- I dont want to be a part of royalty! They're- they're all mad! My life would be in constant threat- from jealous concubines, possessive mother-in-laws, throne hungry princes. I dont want that!"
"Is it because you want Ibrahim pasha?"
You blinked at him. What? "What?"
Baris rubbed his chin. "Oh come on, I saw the way you two looked at each other before you entered the dining room- how the pasha promised to protect you, even from the sultan's wrath."
"Are you like- fishing for anything? For fun?" You shake your head at him.
Baris gave you a look. "Really? What about you going in and lying to protect him? He didnt even say anything before you took the chance to save him."
"I saved him because it was the right thing to do! Not because I love him!" You exclaimed, throwing your hand in the air. "If this is how you think, please- PLEASE resist the urge to ever help me! I dont want a proposal coming from you just because you saved me from choking."
Baris glared at you. "First of all- I'm never going to be as blind as the sehzade when it comes to love. Secondly, you'd be lucky to have me as a husband. At least your offspring will have a chance at looking somewhat normal-" You lunged at him and put him in a chokehold while Baris grabbed at your hijaab covered head to pull you off.
Your fighting match is brought to a halt as someone knocks on the door.
Mustafa stands outside your door, surprised to see Baris looking slightly disheveled when he opened your door.
"Baris? What are you doing here?" Mustafa asked, watching the eunuch fix his collar.
"Ah sehzade! Oh I was just helping Hatun Y/n adjust to her room. Shift her things in here." Baris faked a smile.
Mustafa nodded before lowering his voice. "Is she awake?"
"Yes yes- please come in." Mustafa walked inside just as you appeared out of the wooden divider screen, adjusting your niqaab.
"Sehzade." You gave him a courtesy. "How may I help you?"
Mustafa gave you a gentle smile, his moustache quirking up handsomely. "I would like to ask you to spend the day with me tomorrow."
You froze, and you didnt dare look at Baris who you knew was sporting a smug look because you didnt want to throw your shoe at his face in front of the prince.
"I- I think I am busy with Mihrimah sultana tomorrow-"
"No, I asked her. She said she's happy to skip her lessons for tomorrow." Mustafa cut your excuse. "I'll come by after breakfast. Good night, Y/n."
-
Even though Mustafa said he'll see you after breakfast, which for royals was just an hour before noon, you were woken up by Baris at the ass crack of dawn.
"Baris! What the hell?" You glared at him when he yanked the covers off you. Baris grinned at you. "As much as I'd like to believe in beauty sleep, its so not helping in your case. Come on, you need a bath and a lot of other stuff!"
He'd brought fine silk gowns and matching niqaabs (which you insisted on wearing despite Baris voicing his displeasure).
Currently, one of the maids had just finished doing your eye makeup- which in this case was kohl, and some dried berries crushed to a fine powder to make a rouge sort of shade.
"Since your eyes may be the only thing the prince sees, we need to make them bewitching!" Baris had commented before spraying you down with a lot of perfume.
"That's enough!" You push the bottle away as you coughed at the musky, earthy perfume. "Isnt that for men?" You ask coughing.
Baris's grin only widened. "Its sehzade Mustafa's favourite attar! I had to bribe his chamber servant to tell me this. And you my darling-" He sprayed you again. "-need to smell like him so that he thinks you two are a perfect fit!"
"That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard-" your insult is cut short as your vision is blinded by Baris flipping up your veil to reveal your lower half of the face and him applying some crushed berries juice to your lips.
"Just in case you have a change of morals and want to kiss the prince." He jumped back when you tried to slap him.
Soon, Mustafa came to fetch you. You two were currently walking through the royal gardens, with you giving curt answers so that he would lose interest in you and leave you alone.
Your dismissal didnt go unnoticed by him. "What do you like to do for fun?"
"Read." You answer looking at the well cut hedges. "Have you been to the royal library?" He looks down at you, finding you gazing at the flowers. "Yes. I've already read all of the books there." In college, of course.
"All of them?" His disbelief makes you look at him. Finally. Mustafa thinks.
"Of course." You answer, offended.
"Even the royal ancestry book?" Mustafa raises a brow at you.
"Yes." Your brows furrow. "Ask me anything."
He shakes his head and chuckles. "I doubt you know more about my ancestors than me."
When he looked back at you, you were still looking at him expectantly.
"Ask me."
Mustafa's curiosity got the best of him at your determination.
"This is- this is incredible." Mustafa commented, his eyes wide as he looked at the ancestry book from where he basically quizzed you. He didnt know he was talking to a historian who had pulled all nighters for pretty much every major empire for finals.
"How did you learn all of this?" He asks you, still double checking your answers.
"Oh... I have good memory." You mutter, making him shake his head at you with an amusing smile.
"Of course, I should've figured. You're a hafidha, you're passionate for learning." And passionate for making money in trivias.
Mustafa closes the book. "So, since you've read every book in here, I suppose you must be bored?" He doesnt wait for an answer when an idea pops in his mind. "Come on, lets go."
You follow him, trying to keep up with his fast pace. "Go where?"
"To get you new books." He looks over his shoulder and gives you charming grin.
Your steps falter. New books? "We're leaving the palace?" He hums.
You havent left the palace since you came here, mostly because you havent been able to leave.
You match his pace. "Lets go!" And Mustafa finally sees you excited for the first time today.
With a few Janissaries and some disguise, you all head out into Istanbul. You're looking around the city like a kid in a candy store, only you're looking for a something or someone to help you fix your time machine.
The market comes into view along with the sound of hawkers trying to attract customers. Of course, the only shopkeeper who wasnt yelling was the blacksmith, allowing his hammer to garner the attention of serious clients.
He could be of use. If you're able to find some tools, maybe even get some metal films, you could try to spark a charge and trigger the time machine to work.
You start to take a few steps towards him when Mustafa grabs your shoulder and pulls you back to him. "Where are you going? Stay close to me. I dont want to lose you." He tells you, almost in a chiding tone, but his hands carefully pulling your robes around you said otherwise.
He lead you towards a bookshop. Mustafa nodded at you to go ahead, explore and get any book you want. He'll buy it.
While you were busy browsing, Mustafa couldnt help but steal glances at you. He didnt understand why he was doing this- he couldnt really see your face, or anything except for your eyes.
Your eyes, they were pretty but its not their beauty that really captivates him. Its the swirl of emotions in them. The mystery in them, like there's... more to you. Like you're hiding something.
Perhaps it was your mannerisms. Your dismissive nature, your tendency to not be impressed easily by their eccentricities or status, almost as if you've lived with royalty before.
Maybe he likes how different you treat him him. How you dont bend over backwards to please his family, or try to pursue him or his brothers. In fact, you almost seem to be avoiding them altogether.
You intrigue him. Badly. Amusingly. Adorably.
-
"I dont understand! Where could she have gone?" Mihirmah whined to her brother at lunch. Mehmed only raised a brow. "Who? Y/n? She might be in her room recovering from yesterday's events. She was pretty shaken up-"
"I already checked! She's not there!" Mihirmah sighed before laying her head in his lap, and he began patting her hair. "She went out with Mustafa but she still hasnt returned! Its lunch time and I planned on teaching her sword fight! For self defense, you know- so that she doesnt get beat up like last time."
Mehmed's hand stopped patting. "She's with Mustafa?"
She nodded. "Since morning!"
"Huh." Mihirmah sat up, looking at her brother puzzled.
"What? What is it?" She asked him.
"Nothing." He faked a smile, but Mihirmah knew him like the back of her hand. "Mehmed. Tell me."
"I just... dont understand why Mustafa is spending time with her." He stated, standing up to walk to the balcony. "She's your teacher. What business does Mustafa have with her?"
Mihirmah watched her brother stiffen suddenly, watched the way his jaw ticked as he looked down the balcony. She stood up and joined him, following his gaze to see what he was looking at.
Its you. And Mustafa. Finally returning to the palace, servants holding piles of books following behind you two. What's even more bizarre is to see Mustafa smiling down at you while you giggled, covering your mouth despite the niqaab, making you look even more bashful.
Even Mihirmah hadnt ever seen you so joyful, and yet here you are- laughing so gleefully with her eldest brother. Step brother.
It rubbed her off the wrong way.
"You want her?" She asked him, her voice so hollow that it made Mehmed look at her.
"What?"
Mihirmah looked at him, her eyes stern. "Do. You. Want. Her?"
Unwavering determination. Thats what he saw in his sister's face.
Say the word, and it'll be done.
Mehmed stared at her.
"Yes."
-
"I hope you had a good time." Mustafa asked you as he walked you to your chambers. You nodded. "I did. Thank you, sehzade." Despite your best attempts at dismissing him, Mustafa was very persistent at breaking down your walls. And sure, part of you giggled and pretended to be flustered at his words, you mainly acted cordial so that he may take you out of the palace more often. He was your only way out at the moment.
You both stopped outside your door, the servants walking past you to place your books inside. Mustafa looked satisfied.
"If you ever need to go outside again, feel free to come to me, Y/n." He offered, before taking out a small box from his pocket and handing it to you.
Your heart dropped. A ring? Now? This fast? No no no no no-
You opened the box and you felt life returning back to you. It was a gold broach adorned with rubies and a diamond in the center, encaged in an intricate heart pattern.
"I may not share my father's gift of handcrafting jewels, but I do happen to be skilled at acquiring precious jewels on my conquests." Mustafa informed you as he took the broach from the box and looked at you for permission before pinning it to your hijab, just below your collar bone.
You were too stunned to stop him or even turn down the gift, though Mustafa took your silence as awe.
He adjusted the broach.
"Perfect." He whispered, looking into your eyes.
You watched him leave with a grin, finally able to breathe when he was out of sight.
With a sigh, you enter your chambers, half expecting Baris to be sprawled over your bed waiting to tease you for details on your outing.
What you werent expecting was... her.
"Did you have fun?" The sultana asked, her eyes sharp. "I've been waiting for you, Y/n. Lets have a chat, hm?"
Shit.
-
"You're abnormal." Your hands stop adjusting your hijab as you glare at him through the mirror.
"What?"
Baris tilted his head. "You're abnormal." He repeated.
You turn around from the vanity and glare at him. "Is this another way of calling me ugly?"
"Tch. No, I have words for that." He shook his head. "I meant, you've been acting weird since yesterday, after you returned from your secret outing with sehzade Mustafa."
"You're imagining things." You mumble, turning back to the vanity mirror and picking up the broach Mustafa gave you.
Baris scoffed. "I am not. I may have been busy with the younger royal kids yesterday, but I did manage to catch a glimpse of you giggling and blushing when you returned with the prince." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So that means, the day went good. Something happened on the way to your chambers." He narrowed his eyes at you. "Did you kiss him?"
You whipped your head. "Baris!" He palmed his face. "Sorry, I forgot you're the religious prude. Did he kiss you?"
"No, Baris! No one kissed anyone." You began pinning the broach to your hijab, the same area where Mustafa had placed it yesterday. But you werent able to, too frustrated at the interrogation.
Baris grabbed the broach from you and pinned it in place. "So, you two didnt kiss, bought you enough books to make a you a scholar, and gifted you this broach, and you're disturbed because...?"
You frowned. "I am not disturbed. You're just reading too much into this."
"Fine, dont tell me. I'll find out on my own." You walked past him to teach your Quran lesson.
As much as you'd like to think that you're sly, Baris is right. Something did happen. After you'd returned to your room, you were met there by Mahidevran sultana.
You were reasonably scared because you thought that she's here to torture you or even kill you because you've been "seducing Mustafa" or whatever rumour Baris has spread about you.
But you were surprised when she told you that she wants you and Mustafa together, in marriage. As soon as possible. For the next half hour, Mahidevran basically told you all about the likes and dislikes of her son so that you would accustom yourself to them and then emphasised how supportive she would be of you to be her daughter-in-law. She even encouraged you to... sleep with him, she didnt say it directly but you got the meaning behind her words.
At the end of her lecture, she warned you to not spend time with Hurrem or any of her offsprings, besides Mihirmah because you are her teacher and even then told you to keep your interaction strictly formal and minimum.
When she was about to leave, she spotted the broach on your clavicle and beamed, almost proudly so. When you confirmed that Mustafa gave it to you, and started to take it off to return it to her, she stopped you and told you to wear it everyday. EVERYDAY.
"My son has given you something. You should be honoured. Cherish it." Mahidevran ordered.
The main reason you didnt tell Baris about Mahidevran and her confusing but threatening demands to court Mustafa was because of Baris's blabber mouth that couldnt hold a secret if his life depended on it.
And you have enough on your plate as it is.
You enter Mihirmah's chambers, bowing as you spot her.
"Ah! Welcome! Sit, sit!" Mihirmah pats down the seat next to her and you're slightly suspicious of her energy.
She's upto something.
You sit down beside her, opening the Quran. "I think we should start with-" She closed the book in your hands.
"In a minute. Lets talk first, hm?" She smiled at you. "How was your day off yesterday? Well rested?"
Your shoulders sag slightly. Of course, she wants to know about your day out with Mustafa. Baris probably blabbered something to spark her curiosity like this.
"Yes. A much needed break. Quite refreshing." You tell her, purposely keeping away from the details, lest she gets the wrong idea again and accuses you of whoring around your "ugly self" to her brother.
"Mmhm. Had fun with Mustafa?" Her sharp tone made you look at her.
Is she implying something?
"The prince was kind enough to get me some books." You told her cautiously, trying to ease the tension. "I think you'd like some of them-"
"Mustafa sleeps around." You blinked at her. What were you supposed to do with this unsolicited information.
"Okay...?"
She shrugged, picking up her cup of tea. "I'm just saying- he's been with a lot of women. The other day I was reading a verse from Quran where it mentioned adultery. Then I realised- thats what Mustafa is. An adulterer."
"You read Quran without me making you-"
"Mustafa is an adulterer, Y/n. Allah will not forgive him. He's doomed for hell."
"Actually, if he repents sincerely-"
"He's doomed, Y/n. Doomed." She reiterated.
"By that logic, so are most of your ancestors. I think most men, kings and princes commit adultery-"
"Mehmed doesnt." She stared at you. "He's never slept with anyone. He's a good Muslim man. Allah will be pleased with him."
What is going on here? "Um... okay. That's great news for sehzade Mehmed."
"And for you." Mihirmah announced. "You are the lucky one."
"What?"
She let out a sigh of frustration, as if she has to state the obvious. "Mehmed likes you- no, he loves you-" "Loves me?" "Shh! I'm still talking. You have caught his eye for some reason, so you should end whatever it is that you have with Mustafa and be loyal to my brother."
The room was silent, the two of you staring at each other- you, in confusion. Mihirmah, in determination.
A crow croaked outside.
"First of all, I have nothing going on with sehzade Mustafa. Secondly, Mehmed said he loves me?" You asked while trying not to show resentment.
Mihirmah scoffed. "He doesnt have to say it, I know it."
Your tension deflates to some extent. Okay, so she's just making up stuff. This can be handled.
"Mihirmah, I understand how-" you resist the urge to roll your eyes "-you may think Mehmed may be attracted to me, I am honoured, really. But I can assure you, Mehmed does not love me."
"No, I love you." Your head whips around at the sound of his voice.
Mehmed. He's standing behind you.
"Sehzade-" you begin standing up to bow to him, but he holds up a hand.
"Mihirmah's right. I love you." Mihirmah beamed proudly at standing correct.
Your eyes could only widen in horror as Mehmed sank down to sit right beside you, and with Mihirmah on your other side, you were trapped between the siblings.
"I. Love. You." Mehmed repeated, his hazel eyes staring into yours.
After several moments of silence, a crow croaked again. Mihirmah nudged you to say something.
"Um-" You cleared your throat. "Ugh... thank you."
Mehmed's brows shot up in surprise while Mihirmah broke into a fit of laughter.
"Thank... you?" Mehmed asked, and you would've thought he was mad if it werent for the amused smile on his face.
Mihirmah continued to laugh, and you had to look back at her to make her stop. "I-I'm sorry, Mehmed- this was- this was just too funny. I mean, she has a prince, the next heir of the empire confess her love and all she says is "thank you"?" She said, chuckling as she wiped the tear from her eye.
Mehmed glared at her playfully. "Well, maybe she's just shy around you." Why are they talking about you like you're not right there?
Mihirmah hummed, then nodded. "Perhaps you're right. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. I have to do something-"
"What? Why? You dont have anything to do." You stopped her from standing up. You dont want to be alone with Mehmed.
"I do!" She narrowed her eyes at you.
"Like what?"
"Like-" her eyes zeroed in on your broach. "-pretty. Mustafa gave it?"
"Yes-" you yelped as she grabbed it and pulled it off you, ripping the niqaab it was pinned with along.
"Mihirmah!" Mehmed yelled at her, his eyes stern. You could only stare at her in disbelief before turning away from Mehmed to hide your bare face now.
"Oops! I'm sorry Y/n! I'll go get you a new niqaab- this one is all torn!" She said without an ounce of remorse before leaving the room.
Mehmed shakes his head as he watched her leave, before turning his attention to you- or well, your back.
"Y/n?" He called out to you softly. "I'm sorry for Mihirmah. She... she doesnt mean you any harm. She's just- she sometimes doesnt realise how hurtful her actions can be when she's trying to help someone."
When you didnt reply, Mehmed grew slightly worried. "Y/n?" He sighed when you didnt reply. An idea popped in his head as he looked around the room before looking down.
You heard the sound of cloth ripping, your heart dropping as you assumed the worst. He wasnt going to-
Your head turned around just as Mehmed's hands encircled around your head, a red cloth blocking your view of him.
"Mehmed?" You whispered, scared. His frozen hands seemed to snap out of it and began encircling round your head, the red cloth in his grip brought closer to your face. Thats when your eyes landed on the bottom of his red shirt (kemis). It was ripped.
Mehmed had torn his shirt to make a niqaab for you.
His eyes were focused on tying the makeshift veil, securing it before they landed on you.
"Y/n?" He called your name gently again, his concern growing at the sight of tears pooling in your eyes. He softly sighed as a his hand reached up to wipe a tear that escaped your eye.
"You're that scared of me?" After a few moments, you sniffled as more tears escaped your eyes and you shook your head. "Then?" When you didnt reply, or couldnt as you continued to cry mutely, he took it as a sign that you were humiliated because of Mihirmah removing your veil.
He took a deep breath and cupped your face gingerly before pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
"My mind is occupied by you. I think about you all the time. Perhaps...I only think about you, moon." He wiped another tear with his thumb. "I love you, my moon. I fear I... I love you too much. My heart holds so much love for you, I can hardly call it my own anymore." He then kissed your teary eyes one by one.
"I know you... you dont love me yet, but one day, when you find yourself being generous, I want you to be the one holding my heart in your hands. Its yours, moon. Yours."
-
Baris waited with a few guards and servants outside Mihirmah's room, when Mehmed left the room with a satisfied smiled on his face. Baris noted the bottom of his torn shirt but before he could comment on it, Mehmed asked him where Mihirmah was.
"She went to see sehzade Mustafa. Shall I fetch her?" Mehmed waved him off, saying he'll go get her himself, after all- Mihirmah still had to finish her lesson with you.
Mehmed had just turned around the corner when you came out of the room.
"Y/n-" Baris called out to you but you sped past him, and he didnt chase after you when he saw your red eyes.
He'll tease you later, when you're not so sad. For now, he has to report the sight of this to someone.
-
Even if Mihirmah hadnt bumped into Mustafa and proudly showed off the broach he'd gifted you, the news would've still somehow made its way to him by the servants whispers.
"Oh this broach? Its pretty, isnt it?" Mihirmah smirked, showing it off to Mustafa. "Y/n gave it to me."
"She... gave it to you?" His gift. You gave it away?
She nodded. "Mmhm. She said it wasnt that precious to her, so she gave it. She was going to throw it away, but it went well with my dress so I took it."
You were going to discard his gift? Just like that?
"Mihirmah. There you are." Mehmed walked over to her. "Mustafa." He greeted his brother.
"Mehmed." He looked at his shirt. "What happened to your shirt?"
Mehmed grinned. "Nothing." He then looked at Mihirmah. "Come on, Y/n is waiting for you. I talked to her."
Mustafa could only watch the two siblings beam at each other as the taste in his mouth soured.
His broach. Torn shirt. Mehmed "talked" to you.
Mahidevran could feel her blood boil at the complaints Mustafa brought to her. Even if he didnt, the maids she'd hired to spy on you had already reported of everything they'd witnessed. You and Mehmed alone in Mihirmah's room.
Did you not understand a single word she said? Does she need to give you a more stern warning this time?
"Hurrem must've put them upto this." She muttered, before her gaze flickered to her worried son. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dont worry, Mustafa. I will fix this. You focus on Y/n, hm? You deserve her, my lion."
So? How was it?
Part 10 is here!
#time traveller au#ottoman empire#ottoman#yandere baldwin#yandere Salauddin#yandere x you#yandere x#yandere x reader#male yandere#yandere male#yandere#yandere x darling
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Emily Fox, âSo⌠Do you actually like meââ âWe have been together for seven years. Weâre getting married next year. What the hell do you think?â, while house hunting
house hunting II e.fox
"-and this is the last one for today?" your fiance asked as the real estate agent arrived, parking behind the two of you in the driveway and hurrying out of the car with arms laden full of papers.
"yes the last one for today. but if you're not feeling it we can organize some more for mid next week!" the woman assured, fumbling around to find the keys as you slipped your hand into emilys and squeezed gently.
"i know its been a long day, but this could be the one." you reminded softly as the brunette nodded tiredly, having trained this morning for several hours and then been dragged to six different properties you knew her patience was wearing thin.
"i know, and i know we both want to find the right house so if this isn't the one, thats okay too." your fiance nodded her agreement as you leaned in to sweetly peck her lips as the real estate agent finally unlocked the front door.
"i love you." "i love you more."
you'd both recently gotten engaged which was long overdue, and though you'd lived together for several years now you'd mutually decided that before you started to make wedding plans and a budget, your next step was to buy your first home together.
"-and then this is the master. i just need to make a couple of calls but i'll be right downstairs if you have any questions!" the woman smiled kindly, having given you both the grand tour and stepping away to provide some privacy for the pair of you to talk.
"do you like it?" "what do you think?"
you both shared a look and laughed at your in sync thinking, and you couldn't help the surge of butterflies which fluttered around your chest at the look of the grin on your fiances face.
"i really like it." "it has almost everything we said we were looking for."
again you both laughed speaking in unison, the footballer playfully rolling her eyes as your hand came to cover her mouth with a tut and a shake of your head as she pushed you off.
"close to good schools, not too far from the training centre, big backyard, five rooms, multiple bathrooms, garage which would fit both of our cars-" emily started to list as you nodded.
"-lots of natural light, glass sliding back doors that lead out onto the deck, fireplace, stairs aren't too steep, huge kitchen with an island bench top, great potential for entertaining indoors and outdoors, in-ground pool."
your hands interlocked again as you wandered from room to room upstairs, eventually ending right back up in the master and separating to have a closer look.
"hers and hers closet." you ticked off with your finger making emily chuckle as she followed you inside, the two of you mentally filling the shelves and racks with clothes as a comfortable silence fell between you.
"good size bathroom cabinets." emily made a ticking motion in the air now as you both moved to the ensuit bathroom next, you now laughing before she kissed your cheek and wandered over to inspect the shower.
"but it is just out of our budget." you sighed, your fiance humming and turning around to face you. "but really, we did lowball our budget to be prepared for the wedding." the girl reminded as you nodded, eyes roaming the room.
"and we did agree not to set a date yet because we could wait an extra year if we wanted to." you added on as now emily sighed, your body relaxing as your fiance pressed herself against you, arms circling your waist as her chin found home on your shoulders.
"you did make me wait seven years for a proposal baby, whats another two finally engaged?" you teased, her nose tucking into your neck as her lips softly kissed your shoulder blade.
"girlfriend, fiance, wife, none of those titles make me love you any more or any less. we're building a life together babe, we've been building a life together. this is our decision, nobody else's." the defender murmured, hand coming to rest on your cheek, turning your head slightly so her mouth could meet yours properly.
"i get the top shelf of the cabinets and the left side of the closet, obviously." you pulled away with a nod to the cabinet hearing a scoff behind you.
"and what makes you so sure of that baby?" your fiance questioned, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at you through the mirror in front of you.
"well i just claimed it." you shrugged with a grin, squealing as the brunette pinched your hip and you pushed her off of you. "and if i dispute your claim?" emily challenged crossing her arms as you let out a long and troubled sigh.
"so, do you actually like me or-" you started sadly as your fiance scoffed loudly cutting you off. "do i like you? we've been together for seven years. we're getting married! what the hell do you think?" her eyes rolled making your lips curl up into a smile.
"i think the top shelf and the left side of the closet should be mine, since you like me so much." you nodded matter of factly. "well then i get the left side of the bed, we are not having more than two decorative pillows and-" the girl paused as you raised an eyebrow awaiting her to finish her demands.
"and...?" "and...we buy this house." emilys face softened as her hands found yours, fingers interlinking and tugging you closer as your features lit up with surprise.
"really?" "really."
#emily fox x reader#emily fox#woso#woso x reader#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso blurbs#uswnt#uswnt x reader
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hello my love! been thinking about creepy stalker leon lately <3 maybe vendetta leon! he's damaged mentally and he can't stop himself from being fixated on you. like he corners you somewhere and dubious consent things proceed. IN PUBLIC WOULD BE HOT, but they don't get caught. for a fem! reader
ive been watching you.
AHHHHH first request ate tf up. something about vendetta leon makes me blush. i hope u like!!!
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. NSFW UNDER THE CUT
CW: smut 18+, p in v, fingering, oral (f! receiving), dubcon, semi-public sex, stalking, obsession, masturbation, leon being a creepy perv, age gap (reader is like 22), noncon photography, choking, size kink if u squint and tilt ur head
fem! reader
divider: @leonsdolly
hes not a weirdo. really! he never meant for it to go this far.
it was a random day last august when he wandered into the restaurant you worked at. but as soon as you came to his table and introduced yourself with that pretty little smile and those big doe eyes, he knew he'd been in trouble. after a short pause, he turned his charm on and started a conversation with you.
then he found himself back the next day. and the next.
he swore the only reason he showed up was for the coffee, which was the laziest excuse he could muster considering the coffee was from K-Cups, but you didnt seem to mind. every time you worked, you found your eyes glancing to his booth hoping to see his dark hair poking over the top of the booth in front of him. he could see the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he just hoped you didnt notice the way his cock twitched when his eyes locked with yours.
during your small talk at his table, even after he learned you were half his age, he could only ever think about the way his large, rough hands would feel running all along your body, from your pretty tits, to your waist, to your thighs, to your- oh shit, what were you saying?
"you with me, Mr. Kennedy?" fuck, he loved when he heard his name leave your lips. "uh, yeah, sorry. long night. what were you saying?"
"did you want your regular?" you were smirking, almost mocking how distracted he was.
"yea, add something for yourself pretty lady, come sit with me on your break?"
leon had been a regular of your months. he looked to be in his late 30s-early 40s, and you'd be lying if you said his little nickname didnt make your knees a little weak.
"as much as id love to, Mr. Kennedy, i cant today. but i can definitely get that order in for you" you reluctantly deny his request.
he didnt appreciate that.
-
after a week of discreetly following you home after your shifts, he'd learned your routines. what time you shower in the evening, what time you have dinner, what time you touch yourself when everyone else falls asleep...
leon invested in some binoculars from the local nerd store and even found a little bush he could hide in perfectly angled to show him your bedroom. he even bought himself a new camera so he could take pictures of you when you look your best, oblivious.
when you had gone off to work one day, he snuck in right as you left. he's not sure what possessed him to do this, he used to be such a good guy. he wanted to protect and serve and... now look at him, rummaging in some 20 somethings underwear drawer.
-
you slam the register shut after counting your money for that night, it had been a long one. full of old men, not leon, telling you to "smile for them" or snapping at you for a refill of their sweet teas. everyone else had gone home for the night, and you were just about to lock up. your body ached, you felt like falling on the nearest flat surface and knocking out for the week.
until you heard the bell ding.
"we're close-" you were cut off by yourself when you saw who walked in, "oh, hey Mr. Kennedy."
theres his girl. "hey honey, you alright? you look tired" he approached you from behind.
"its been a long day, but nothing i can't handle. i was actually just about to lock up the restaurant... so.." you trail off, hoping he may get the hint that you just want to go home.
"well good thing i came in, huh?" he laughs, and so do you, but you didnt find it too funny. he was starting to stand a little bit too close to you for your comfort, even though you trusted him.
"i guess" you say, blushing when he gives you a look that made you almost rip off his shirt right then and there. but you cant, thats wrong, what would your parents think?
"you look pretty, angel" leon says, tilting your head up to look up at him. god, he was tall, and his one hand could cover your whole face.
"t-thank you Mr. Ke-"
"Leon. call me Leon"
"thank you, leon" you reply, crossing your arms, tensing up. you knew you shouldn't be feeling this way, it isn't professional.
he couldnt hold himself back anymore. whether it was the way your big pretty eyes looked up at him like a trap, or the way his hand was finally grazing your soft skin, something made him bold enough to kiss you.
"Le- Leon... we can't" you made out between kisses, as much as you were denying him, you were still kissing him back, that kept him going.
"we can't? that's too bad..." he mutters in your ear, breath fanning against your neck as his fingers wandered below your waistband, "because im gonna do it anyway"
you squirmed against him but you couldn't deny the way you mewled in his ear when he grazed your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. he laughed meanly in your ear before putting his free hand around your throat and gently squeezing when he applies the slightest pressure to your clothes clit, making you moan, "i knew you'd like that". he lays you down in a booth in the empty restaurant.
"p-lease... fuck" you tugged at his shirt, shyly asking for more. he laughs at the change in your charcter from only a moment ago, before ultimately complying with your silent request. he rips your clothes off and leaves a trail of sloppy, wet kisses from your neck, to your tits, to your stomach, and finally down to your pussy.
he gazes up at you with the hungriest eyes youve ever seen, glazed over and half lidded yet so focused on you. he makes out with your cunt, his nose bumping into your clit as he slips his tongue in and out of your hole, making lewd, borderline pornographic sounds. you were a wreck, writhing under him and grinding your hips into his face as he moaned incoherent praises into you, the vibrations making you soak his face more than you knew you could.
he eventually sticks two fingers into you as he sucks on your puffy, neglected clit, and once he curls his fingers to the spot that makes you jolt, he keeps on hitting that spot again and again and again until you cum in his mouth. he doesnt stop then, using his tongue to clean up your mess until you're pushing him away, a stupid cocky grin plastered on his wet lips.
you didn't realize you were taking his belt off until his cock was in front of you. he was big, leaking precum from his pretty pink tip and his eyes were piercing yours as he pumped himself a few times before lining himself with your entrance, the two of you gasping in tandem as he bottomed out inside of you.
tears pricked at your eyes as he began to move, the pain and pleasure and overstimulation from your last orgasm all combining and making a cocktail of sensations you've never experienced before. your head lolled to the side and you squeezed your eyes shut while leon rocked you into next year, until he just almost cuts off your airway and forces you to face him and look in his eyes as he drills into you like a jackhammer.
"ah-ah-ah-f-uuuck, Lee!" you moaned into his neck as you scratched pretty red lines down his back, making him grit his teeth to keep from letting out a whine he'd only heard when cumming in the panties he stole from your room
"i know pretty girl, feels good doesn't it?" he lets up on your throat, not that you could catch your breath at the rate he was plowing you. "y-yes- i'm cumming, oh my god im cumming" your eyes roll into the back of your head and you draw blood from biting your lip.
"go ahead princess, im right there with you" he grunts, slightly angling to hit you impossibly deeper, which was your final straw, you let out a string of curses and chants of his name as you cream his cock, he spills his load inside of you. not that you're that angry, his warm cum spilling out of you felt so nice you couldn't dare be angry.
the two of you catch your breath in silence until leon snaps a photo of your leaky cunt, both of your cum spilling onto your thighs.
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy smut#resident evil smut#leon kennedy drabble#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil vendetta#vendetta leon#resident evil#re vendetta
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richard iii dashboard simulator. i thought it would be funny and here we are
đhalfhearteddickjoke
what if i caused problems on purpose <3
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đhalfhearteddickjoke
oh no... i cant believe the king is having my brother killed... oh noooo
#FUCK YOU GEORGE
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đĽladyanne Follow
man i miss my husband and father in law
đhalfhearteddickjoke
hey
đĽladyanne
shut the fuck up you literally killed them??? get off my post
đhalfhearteddickjoke
can i try rizzing you up
đĽladyanne
um. sure?
đhalfhearteddickjoke
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
đĽladyanne
i can't believe i'm saying this but this is kind of working.
đ§ââď¸gentleman-retainer
anyone else in this thread smoke weed
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đšlancaster-official Follow
you all suck.
@/elizabeth-woodville your son will die and you will be deposed and youre gonna die SAD and ALONE.
@/river-severn @/dorset-sheep and @/billhastings you're gonna get executed
@/halfhearteddickjoke hm. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. nobody hang out with this conniving bitch i hate him i hate him so much and i am three seconds away from killing him constantly.
đŚfuckinghim Follow
get off tumblr margaret we're in court
đšlancaster-official
he's not gonna want you as his boytoy forever
đŚfuckinghim
WE'RE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP??????
đšlancaster-official
i've seen you talk to him. i know what you are
5000 notes
đźmr-london-tower Follow
just heard george duke of clarence say "snork mimi" aloud i'm gonna [remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health] request to be moved away from guarding his cell
đźmr-london-tower
update: so it turns out the malmsey wine is unusable, for related reasons to this man.
#fuckin. dead body in the malmsey. cant have nice things around here #i hate my job so bad
94 notes
eddie-baby-deactivated
yayyy everybody is friends now :)
đhalfhearted-dick-joke
dude you literally killed clarence??? you cant be having other people making friends youre a murderer
eddie-baby-deactivated
WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I CANCELED THAT ORDER???
đhalfhearted-dick-joke
you killed that guy man what the fuck. you cant be doing that
764 notes
đelizabeth-woodville Follow
I regret to inform you all that the king has died.
5 notes
â¨cecily-not-sicily Follow
dude my sons GOTTA stop dying. this is so fucked.
3 notes
đhalfhearteddickjoke
i do so love to cause problems on purpose :)
#sorry to any family members of lords rivers, vaughan, and grey. um. you will not be seeing them anymore! <3
1285 notes
đŚfuckinghim Follow
preteens are so scary for no reason??? had to interact with two for work and like. they suck so bad. "i fear no uncles dead" shut the fuck up you smartass little shit. also had to explain to them the history of the tower of london which. i don't fucking know that shit! i don't know who built the tower of london! it sure as fuck wasn't julius caesar!
7 notes
#ď¸âŁbillhastings Follow
SOMEONE has got to stop waking me up in the middle of the night to hear their dreams
#ď¸âŁbillhastings
oh what the fuck.
607 notes
đbishop-ely Follow
crazy day at work today
#never go outside to get strawberries worst mistake of my life #came back in the room and they were accusing hastings of witchcraft. like sure yeah i guess
20 notes
đŚfuckinghim Follow
richard duke of gloucester should be king because not only are edward v and richard duke of york illegitimate but also so was edward iv. also richard duke of gloucester is just. kind of an all around good guy! as opposed to edward iv who ah. how do i put this in a manner that isn't horribly offensive. yeah okay figured it out. not a great person! unpleasant to be around!
also if you wanna know what was up with hastings he was a traitor don't worry about it.
954 notes
đĽladyanne Follow
RICHARD. RICHARD WHEN I CATCH YOU RICHARD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KING OF ENGLAND
2 notes
đŚfuckinghim Follow
shit dude that one vine wasn't lying. what the fuck richard
#i have to leave immediately. jesus fucking christ man.
500 notes
đhalfhearteddickjoke
yay king of england :) i will be very good at this i feel
#everybody's always like "what the fuck richard you can't kill two kids" or "why would you do that" and never like "was it fun having those preteens killed. it looked fun"
0 notes
đšlancaster-official Follow
@/halfhearteddickjoke FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
submitted by @/elizabeth-woodville
90 notes
đhalfhearteddickjoke
wow everything is going so bad. what the entire shit @/fuckinghim
2 notes
đŚfuckinghim Follow
ughhh margaret was right. NOT ABOUT THE BOYTOY THING
307 notes
ÂŽď¸henry-twoder-or-something Follow
hi ive been here the whole time. ive done the math and i do technically have a claim to the throne :)
83 notes
đhalfhearteddickjoke
i cant believe im saying this but i did just have an ebenezer scrooge moment. god i hate it here.
#maybe i am a bad person
54 notes
ÂŽď¸henry-twoder-or-something Follow
wow richard has died :) i cant believe i am the king now! yayyyy
2 notes
đŁââď¸resident-dumb-fuck Follow
final message from op! sorry everyone. im so annoying about this forever
#richard iii#unreality#sorry everyone!#shakespeare#long post#like. so long that i sent this to my friend who didn't have a tumblr and halfway through tumblr was like âno you need an accountâ
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|| series masterlist || next // previously ||
genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mental health, abandonment issues, abuse, etc. words -> 4.4k
abstract -> one week can create a lot of attachments...
mingi's perspective
Today was Saturday⌠and also technically my first day here. The week is gonna be a living pure hellâŚ
Hongjoong just told me everything not to do and who to find to make it easier. I needed to befriend Wooyoung⌠But I could do that when I was in my temporary room while everyone ate in the dining room. I was hungry⌠I was really hungry and I smelled meat. It felt like I was being torturedâŚ
I suddenly heard a knock⌠âMingi?â I heard. I rushed to open the door as I saw the human girl⌠she had a plate of meat and then instant ramyeon and the good brand!
âI know you probably lied about not being hungry. I know you wonât be comfortable eating with us but donât starve. Youâll get sickâ she said and gently scolded me as she handed me the food. âThank you,â I said and I could help my tail to wag so much. âIf you want more, you can get more in the kitchen,â she said as she left.Â
I havenât had meat in years! My old owner never wanted to give us food like this and even the ramyeon we couldnât afford to spend on good brands. I hate that I was hungry afterward⌠I took a yearâs worth of courage to go outside and walk out to see them eat at a table all together.Â
âMingi!â she said and the hybrids soon deflated in their moods. âAre you still hungry?â she asked and I nodded the whole way looking down. âHere, you can sit next to Wooyoung,â she said as she pointed at the fox hybrid.
The one I had to befriend was the fox hybrid... okay progress!
âThe cooks are Wooyoung and Seonghwa. I havenât cooked in a while since I love their cooking too muchâ she said while laughing and I understood what she meant.
âIt's really good. I donât think I ever ate such good foodâ I said and I saw the fox hybrid smile. âYou see Yeosang! We donât need fried chicken!â he scolded as he smiled at me. Seonghwa also smiled softly from what I said. I think that's Seonghwa...
Heâs the other tiger that Hongjoong mentioned⌠right?
âHere, you should eat more! I heard wolves need to eat a lot of meat!â Wooyoung said as he filled my plate with more meat.Â
âPlease, we're supposed to eat more vegetables, yet Hongjoong wonât touch itâ the panther said and everyone laughed while my roommate scoffed.Â
âIt doesnât taste good, so why should I waste my time eating it?â he asked and I laughed softly.Â
âMingi, important question. Itâll be important for your stay hereâ Wooyoung said and I felt nervous. âDo you prefer beef or chicken?â he asked and I was confused⌠Was this important?
âI guess beef," I said truthfully and I noticed they all laughed but one⌠he rolled his eyes.
âYeosang it's now five against oneâ Wooypung said and I was confused but I saw how easily they all talked to each other⌠It made me miss Yunho.
âHey, Mingi⌠whyâd you steal from y/n?â Wooyoung asked and I felt all eyes on me. âYou donât have to answer that, no pushing himâ she told me then scolded the hybrids.Â
âWe needed money⌠we were gonna steal from her wallet at first but Yunho noticed she looked sad so he wanted to comfort her. I was gonna steal her wallet but Yunho would signal me not to⌠he scolded me twice for stealing from her but we really needed the moneyâ I said and y/n smiled softly.Â
âHe really did feel guilty for stealing from you when you were so sad! I feel bad tooâŚâ I said and she shook her head. âIt's all in the past nowâ she said and I couldnât help but feel guilty.Â
âI couldnât imagine surviving in the streets,â Wooyoung said and I sighed⌠âHow long were you guys on the streets?â Seonghwa asked and I chuckled⌠âAlmost two years,â I said and it seemed to shock them all.Â
âThat long?! How did your owner not find you two?!â Wooyoung asked quite loudly. âWe would move from place to place⌠they live far from Seoul, they're only ever here for business but I doubt theyâll ever come back here again,â I said sadlyâŚÂ
âYou miss him a lot donât you?â y/n asked and I nodded. âHe was my only friend⌠my owners didnât want me and Iâm a lot weaker than a wolf should be,â I said and she shook her head.Â
âHumans are almost always bad⌠most of us here have experienced itâ the dog hybrid said bitterly while a lot of them nodded.Â
âI wasnât wanted either,â Wooyoung said and I was shocked. âMy owner passed away and I went to her daughterâs family⌠she was pregnant when I passed down to her. I begged my owner to leave me with y/n but she refused saying I would be too much to handle for a student⌠but I was too much for her daughter insteadâ he said sadlyâŚ
âDid you run away?â I asked and he shook his head.Â
âWhen she had the baby, she tried juggling a newborn baby and⌠me. Iâm a lot to handle, I was in the facility originally for hyperactivity. Most people wouldnât want a hybrid who is as energetic as I am. But I met y/n again and she adopted meâ he said now in a happy tone.Â
I soon heard a series of coughsâŚÂ
âOh shut up, San,â he said⌠the panther hybrid was San. âHe likes to tease me saying that y/n only adopted me because he asked her,â he said and I chuckled softly⌠they all seemed very close.
âI was the first hybrid,â he said and the fox scoffed. âI knew her longer than you!â he argued.Â
âChildish the both of youâ Seonghwa muttered as Hongjoong and the dog hybrid laughedâŚ
That would mean he was Yeosang⌠stay away from him...Â
AND I ALREADY MADE HIM ANGRY BY CHOOSING BEEF OVER CHICKEN! IS IT TOO LATE TO CHANGE MY ANSWER?!
âMingi, what are you being treated for?â Hongjoong asked and I actually didnât know⌠âHeâs being treated for anxiety and a dependent disorderâ y/n answered.Â
âWhat's a dependent disorder?â Seonghwa asked.Â
âOoh! I know! It's when a hybrid isnât able to take care of themselves because of the dependency of others!â Wooyoung said proudly to know that but I was left confused⌠I had that?! âIâm guessing you didnât know?â y/n asked me and I shook my head.
âIâm sorry for being such a burdenâ I muttered and bowed my head âYou arenât. I hope none of us make you feel like that,â she said and I couldnât understand her kindnessâŚ
She made me feel guilty.Â
Sunday⌠It was usually a day I despised.Â
People would be all over the street but I woke up for the first time warm⌠Hongjoong was still asleep. I walked outside hoping to find the bathroom when I bumped into the dog hybridâŚ
âAh! Iâm sorry!â I said while bowing.Â
He sighed before nodding and walking away.Â
âStupid Yeosang! Never does anything right! Ugh! Iâm gonna tell y/n and weâll see how he likes it whenâ AHHH '' I also bumped into Seonghwa complaining about the dog hybrid.Â
âGood Morning⌠sorry you heard me,â he said and I shook my head. âYou look lost,â he said and I laughed awkwardly. âIs it that obvious?â I asked and he smiled softly and nodded.Â
âI wanted to find the bathroom?â I asked and he nodded. âThere's one over here but Yeosang went over there, here Iâll lead youâ he offered and I thanked him as I followed the tiger.Â
âHongjoong told me he gave you rules?â he asked and I shook my head. âHe warned me, '' I said and he laughed.Â
âWhatâd he say?â he asked me as we now stood in front of the bathroom.Â
âTo stay away from San and Yeosang⌠to befriend Wooyoung and to be careful of what I say around the two of you,â I said and he smiled softly.Â
âYeosang and San are the most protective of y/n⌠we all are but those two especially. We went through it too, kind of still do but donât worry too muchâ he said and I nodded.Â
âThank you,â I said as he now left me aloneâŚ
What did Yunho say about her again? y/n seems to really care for her hybrids⌠so why were they taken away from her⌠he mentioned that when he comforted her. They were taken away from her.Â
Despite her caring for them⌠we assumed she did something to them.
Was that right though?
I heard banging on the door scaring me and taking me out of my train of thought. âYEOSANG GET OUT! YOU TAKE FOREVER!â I heard yelling and I opened the door when I saw the fox hybridâs eyes widen in shock.
âAh! Sorry, I thought you were Yeosang⌠only he locks the door of the shower and isn't runningâ he apologized and I shook my head.
It was their home⌠I was just intruding.
âHey, if you ever want to talk about what happened at your old home you can talk to me,â he said and offered me a smile.
My old home? Was that ever home?
Monday was a busier day than yesterday.
Sunday I was deep in thought as I hung out with Wooyoung and the panther⌠they even taught me how to play games on the TV.
Today, however, I slept in⌠only waking up because of Hongjoong.Â
âWhat do you mean sheâs gonna file a lawsuit?!â I heard as all of her hybrids were waiting for her phone call to finish⌠She was mad⌠I could tell.Â
âYeah⌠I know, byeâ she said clearly fuming. âWho is suing?â Seonghwa asked softly and she sighed.Â
âIs it my owner?â I asked and she turned around to me and smiled softly. âIâm gonna head out, I need to talk to someone. You guys behaveâ she said as I saw Yeosang follow her.
âWhatâs gonna happen?â Wooyoung asked and the oldest shook their heads⌠they didnât know.
âIt would depend on the lawsuit,â I said and they nodded. I felt like this was my fault⌠âMingi donât blame yourself okay? Itâs not your faultâ Seonghwa comforted but it didnât help.
Wooyoung tried distracting everyone saying he was gonna make chicken today since Yeosang has been complaining recentlyâŚ
âAre you gonna be okay?â San said as I looked behind me to see y/n⌠she nodded
âItâs not the first lawsuit Iâve had. Iâm gonna meet with a lawyer, and trust me you guys donât have to worry, everything is fine, it's just some petty little lawsuit to discuss some financesâ she explained and they nodded.
I felt guiltyâŚ
Tuesday wasnât any better. She said everything was gonna be settled but I didnât know what I was doing⌠I was still missing Yunho.
âMingi?â I heard as I saw her and Yeosang. âDo you want to come with me? Iâm gonna meet up with your owner and itâs possible that Yunho is there?â She asked and I nodded
I answered quickly but I really wanted to see him.Â
âOk, Yeosang is gonna help get you ready. Iâll be in the kitchen okay?â I nodded a little nervously to be around the dog hybrid.
âDonât do anything stupidâ he muttered once she left. âIf she comes back hurt in any way, youâre deadâ he warned and I nodded. He started getting me ready⌠he was the one who knew the most about living⌠at least I assumed.Â
âYouâre lucky sheâs even taking youâ he muttered and I chuckled. âIâm lucky to even be aliveâ I whispered and I didnât see his look of confusion until he asked⌠âWhat do you mean by that?â
âHmm? Oh⌠thatâs nothing to worry about. Iâll get ready nowâ
We made it to a law firm⌠I heard of the law firm before. My owner would try to get lawyers from here but was always rejected.
âWhy would you bring that mutt?!â I heard as I looked down. âLadies, refrain from fighting. If you could go to look at Mr. Jungâs office?â he said as he led them away.
âWhy are you with her?â I heard as I saw the golden retriever hybrid dressed in nice clothing⌠he always had the better treatment.
âSheâs fostering me⌠itâs a favor she owes from the doctorâ I explained and he sighed. âDonât get attached to her⌠if sheâs fostering you then itâs only temporary right?â He asked and that felt like a stab.
If it was Yunho would she have adopted him? Of course, she would⌠he was a purebred, well-behaved⌠the better hybrid.
âMingi? Youâre in your head againâ he said and for some reason, I didnât want to talk to him⌠I was happy to see him, but why do I feel this burning feeling?
âIs she at least good to you?â He asks and I nod. âI got to eat meat on my first day there,â I said and he chuckled. âYesterday the family had a Korean barbecue⌠theyâre sure that theyâll win the lawsuit,â he said and I felt bitter.
He always got everything⌠Why didnât I run away by myself? Oh⌠cause Iâm not smart⌠I wouldnât have survived on my own. He would⌠he wouldâve been better off without me.Â
âMingi⌠talk to me. Did you ask her to foster you to see me?â He asked and I scoffed. âMingi, I'm sorry but everything is falling apart. We canât see each other anymore⌠itâll hurt us more than goodâ he said and I knew I had to let go of himâŚ
He was doing it because he was their hybrid⌠I was just a hybrid no one wanted.
Wednesday⌠I spent it in my bed.
I couldnât bear to do anything.Â
âGet up!â I got yelled at but I didnât react. âCome on! You havenât even eaten yet⌠y/n is worried about youâ Hongjoong said and I wondered why?
I wasnât her hybrid? I wasnât her responsibility.
âYou came back yesterday like this⌠whatâs bothering you?â He asked and I didnât want to tell him. He left thankfully but I soon heard the door open again.Â
âMingi?â Why was she here?
I sat up and saw her. She brought food⌠âIâm not hungry,â I said I didnât want to get attached to the food⌠I would miss it too much. âWhatâs bothering you?â She asked and I shook my head. âI wanna go back to the facility,â I said and she sighed.
âKun told me on Saturday,â she said and I knew she had to complete a week. Itâs already been four days? Just two more until SaturdayâŚ.
âMingiâŚtell me whatâs wrong,â she said and I felt tears pool my eyes. âYunho⌠why did they keep him and not me?â I let out and she sighed as she hugged meâŚÂ
She didnât say anything. So I finally let everything outâŚ
âI always got his leftovers⌠they never cared for me. Why was I so unlucky?! You treat all your hybrids equally⌠or am I just inferior to him?â I asked her and he petted my head.
âI think youâre amazing how you are. You easily get along with Wooyoung, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong. A little secret between you and me? You get along with them better than anyone hereâ she said and j was confused.
âI know San, Yeosang, and Hongjoong are trouble while Seonghwa and Wooyoung are easier but theyâre also very bitter against other hybridsâ she explained
âStill till this day even after four months of knowing the tigers, Yeosang doesnât get along with Seonghwa⌠or not in a normal way,â she said and I chuckled.
Those two were often arguing with each other Iâve seen.
âEat okay? Donât compare yourself when youâre fine the way you areâ
Thursday... It was hard knowing Iâd go back to the facilityâŚÂ
Iâd never get adopted. I know that and Iâve accepted it. It was strange though⌠Iâve never made friends other than Yunho. This was an experience that was only mine⌠not with him.Â
âMingi?â I heard Wooyoung come in⌠âI brought you breakfast,â he said with a cautious smile and I thanked him but he didnât leave.
âYou shouldnât be too upset⌠who cares about your old owner, you're really fun. If I was human I would adopt youâ he said and it made me feel a bit better.Â
âIâm sorry for all the trouble I caused⌠I shouldnât have tested my luck with y/nâ I said and he shook his head. âYou did what you needed to survive,â he said as he rubbed my shoulder trying to comfort meâŚ
âDo you wanna eat with us today? There's more food in the kitchen⌠this wonât really make you fullâ he said as I saw the plate⌠It was toast with fruit.
Iâm guessing he did that on purposeâŚ
I followed him and I saw all the hybrids sitting at their table eating and chatting with y/n in the middle of San and Yeosang⌠âMingi!â she said happily when she saw me. âFinally,â Hongjoong said and I knew he was probably sick of not having his private spaceâŚ
âCome on,â Wooyoung said as I looked next to him.Â
ây/n are you going to see the lawyer again?â I asked and she nodded hesitantly⌠she was dressed formally so I assumed she was. âCan I come with you?â I asked and her smile fell⌠âLook Mingi I think seeing your oldââ âI just want to say goodbye to Yunhoâ I said and her eyes widenedâŚÂ
âI know I need to let him go and I will⌠it's part of the treatment right?â
âAs you know, hybrids arenât allowed to pass here. Weâll keep an eye on them for you Miss. l/n '' the receptionist said to her to which she nodded and faced us.
âSan be nice, and donât cause trouble please,â she asked the panther who asked to join us⌠I still didn't know why but I assumed because he didnât trust me. âAnd Mingi donât push yourself to do anything, San will protect you,â she said the panther stayed silent but I nodded.Â
She left me alone with SanâŚ
âAre you really gonna say goodbye to that dog?â San asked and I nodded. âI canât hold on to him like this⌠Iâll live the rest of my life in that facility, Iâll never be able to see him againâ I confessed and he sighed.Â
âYou know I donât remember much about my life anymore but I remember the facility I was in and I thought that I would stay at the adoption center until I died⌠I probably would've already been dead by now if it wasnât for her'' he said and I envied him.
âAre there more people like her?â I asked and before he answered I saw the she-devil and Yunho come in.Â
âRight, this way maâam,â the receptionist said as she scoffed and didnât even look at us while throwing her jacket at Yunho.
He was walking towards the seats when he saw usâŚÂ
âMingiâŚâ he muttered, almost frustrated⌠he sat next to me a little wearily from the pantherâŚÂ
âI told you that thisââ âI know, so I'm saying goodbye. Weâll never see each other again and I know that. My week is almost down with y/nâ I said and he nodded giving me a sad look. âIâm sorry for ruining everything,â I said and he shook his head. âWhy donât you just run now?â San asked and I laughed.
âWe wouldâve been caught eventually⌠it wouldn't be worth it,â I said and I didnât notice how Yunho had tears in his eyes until I saw him⌠almost like it was still a possibility. He always was the positive one out of the two of us.Â
âWhy are you talking and asking if you're dying?â Yunho asked and I smiled. âI mean⌠isn't it kinda the same? Iâll never see youâ" "But I donât want thatâ he criedâŚÂ
âIâd rather be in the streets than with her⌠I miss you and we could do it again. Lets runââ he said standing up but I grabbed his shirt, snapping him out of it.Â
âI can't do that,â I said and he hugged me tightlyâŚ
âIs she not gonna adopt you?â Yunho asked and I shook my head. âNo⌠she never was like you said it was temporary, it was just a favorââ âDo you want her to adopt you?â San cut me off and I looked at him confused⌠Iâve gotten to know the panther whilst staying at his homeâŚ
He hates people but stays away from hybrids because of some triggers he has from his past⌠heâs been kind to me though and he even taught me how to play some games he plays⌠but Iâm not the best in fact I think heâd get along with Yunho more
âI couldnât⌠I donât belong thereâ I said and he stayed silent.
No matter how much I wanted to say yes⌠I couldnât be selfish
Friday⌠officially my last day here
Iâll miss it here and I'll miss Yunho
I came out for lunch today and I didnât see y/n?
âMingi! Come!â Wooyoung said as I sat next to him. âWhatâs your favorite food?â Wooyoung asked and I didnât know⌠âI donât know⌠I really liked the meat you made on my first day hereâ I said and he laughed.Â
âThen you havenât tried a lot of food,â he said and I shook my head. âHave you ever tried fried chicken?â San asked and I shook my head. I looked at the Doberman who made a shocked face⌠he didnât show a lot of emotion but he did at the moment making everyone laugh
âYou really havenât lived a life,â Yeosang said and I chuckled. âI havenât you're right,â I said and I didnât mean to make them sad.Â
âIf it makes you feel better before getting adopted, Me, Hongjoong, and San never tried most food either,â Seonghwa said and I nodded.Â
âHey, the only reason I know how fried chicken tasted was because I ate it in secret at parties,â Yeosang said and it made me sad how much hybrids sufferâŚ
âWhereâs y/n?â I asked and they smiled ominously⌠âSheâll be back later,â Wooyoung said.
âMingi, did you ever want to do anything when you were trapped in your old home? Or when you were on the streets?â Hongjoong asked me and I nodded.Â
âOf course I did⌠but I always wanted to do them with Yunhoâ I confessed and they sighed. âMingi, what would you do if you got adopted?â Wooyoung asked and I didnât know how to answer⌠âI donât think that would ever happen,â I said instead and he frowned.
âYou never know,â Seonghwa said and it looked like they knew somethingâŚ
âHey Mingi?â San said and I was shocked he initiated anything⌠âYou need to have more confidence⌠that dog isn't better than you. You arenât better than us, and we aren't to you so you need to grow a pair and quit being so insecure and acting like your life is over '' he said and I knew he was rightâŚÂ
âSanâŚâ Seonghwa said while going into whispers scolding the panther⌠âI know⌠but it's hard to have hope when I've always been called a runt, '' I said.Â
âI was the runt of my litter too,â San said and I felt my eyes widen. âYOU WERE?!â Wooyoung yelled and he nodded.Â
âI was in the illegal hybrid rings a few years back from what I was told⌠I donât remember much and I'm prone to getting sick more oftenâ he confessed.Â
âBut you donât look like oneâ I muttered and he laughed. âWell no⌠but neither do you. I do have to do constant checkups with that doctor. I also did daily checkups in the adoption center because of my healthâ he confessed and I never would have known.Â
He was the scariest hybrid after Yeosang but⌠I really never would have known.Â
âSo using that you are a runt really isnât an excuseâ Hongjoong confirmed and I chuckled. âYeah I guess it isn'tâŚâ I muttered.Â
âIâm back!â I heard as I saw y/n with a bunch of bags and even a friend with her. âOoh! You were right, everything should suit himâ the girl said excitedly while staring at me?
âThatâs Wonyoung, sheâs a model and good friend of y/nâsâ Yeosang said and I nodded. âThanks, Wonnie '' she said and they said bye to each other when I realized the scattered bags and boxes with designer logos on them.
âMingi, I hope you liked it here?â she asked and I smiled. âI did⌠thank you,â I said wanting to say that anyone would be lucky to live with them⌠that I wish I could stay.Â
âI have a gift for you actually,â she said and I was confused. âFor me?â I asked and she smiled while handing me a black box with a white bow on the top.Â
I unwrapped it when I saw a cardâŚ
âAn adoption card?â I asked and she smiled. I saw it was for me with⌠her name? âBut⌠I was supposed to leaveâ" "Open the rest of the present,â she said, cutting me off and I did see the wrapped collar matching with the hybrids behind me.Â
It was a light brown collar that almost looked pink with reddish jewels on it. I didnât know what to say⌠I was in shock.Â
âWe really liked you being here⌠everyone would have missed you if you went back and Iâd regret it,â she said and I wanted to hug her but I didn't know what to do. She must've noticed since she came closer to hug me.Â
âOoh! Can we choose your hair color!â Wooyoung asked and I laughed. âYou really do need a haircut,â Yeosang said and I agreed.Â
âI know youâll always miss Yunho but I hope you like it here too,â y/n said and I smiled.Â
âI will, Iâll be the happiest hereâÂ
@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern
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#ateez#ateez x female reader#ateez circus#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#ateez hongjoong#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#ateez yunho#yunho x reader#yunho smut#ateez yeosang#yeosang x reader#yeosang smut#ateez san#san x reader#san smut#ateez wooyoung#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung smut#ateez mingi#mingi x reader#mingi smut#ateez jongho#jongho x reader#jongho smut
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You're Mine (request on Tumblr for a jealousy filled fic featuring Tom Hiddleston)
WARNING: For those that do not like SMUT, I'm sorry, you can skip this one. This is a request I got on Tumblr and I do honor all requests... within reason, LOL.Â
Today was Hugh and I's third anniversary. The last three years have been amazing to say the least. We met five years ago when I'd stumbled into his coffee shop, Laughing Man Cafe, a coffee and tea shop he owned, located in New York. Hugh had stopped in to sign autographs and meet a few fans, I'd stopped in for a coffee, not realizing Hugh Jackman owned it.Â
We began dating shortly after, getting married two years later. I'd always been extras in films, but he'd help me kick start my career as being a lead in some smaller films. I was always apprehensive about doing bigger films, so I strayed away from them. Hugh would spend hours going over lines with me to prepare me for various roles over the last few years. I checked my email noticing a script my manager sent over to me. It was a bigger film, of course and I had managed to get the part after a stressful audition. I didn't bother reading the script before auditioning, but I knew it was a rom-com with Tom Hiddleston, who was well known for playing Loki.Â
"Holy shit." I mumbled, reading over the script. Hugh looked over at me from the opposite end of the couch, wearing his glasses, "What? Did you get dropped?" He asked concerned.Â
I rolled my eyes, "Why do you automatically assume I was dropped from a film?"Â
He chuckled, "What's with the 'holy shit' reaction?" He sat his laptop down, scooting beside me to see my phone.Â
I took a deep breath, "Uh, well... There's a sex scene with Tom and I."Â
He shrugged, "It's just acting, babe. You'll do fine. Sex scenes are fun to film."
I cocked my brow looking at him, "Really?" I asked sarcastically.Â
He laughed, shaking his head, "I don't mean it like that. They're awkward. You're wearing these little bags and cover-ups, stimulating sex for hours. It's weird, but the key is to make each other laugh."Â
He would know. He's the man that's always down for a good sex scene.Â
I continued skimming the email, "Holy fuck! We're filming it at 5." I said mentally face palming as I jumped up to grab normal clothes, rather than the sweats and over sized t-shirt I was wearing.Â
Hugh looked at his watch, "Oh fuck, it's 3:45 now. Let's get ready and I'll take you. Tom's a nice dude, you'll be fine, baby." He said as he jumped up to change out of his comfy clothes.Â
As we got ready and jetted out of the door of our home in NYC, we flew through traffic and made it to the set with 10 minutes to spare. When we arrived on set, I was greeted by my manager, Tom's manager, Tom and a few of the film crew.Â
"Ooooh, she brought Wolverine with her, Tom. You better be careful." one of the cameramen teased.Â
Tom chuckled, "I'm always careful." as he made his way to Hugh smiling, "Nice to see you again, Hugh."Â
Hugh smiled, "Hey Mate, nice to see you."
The director walked over to us, "Okay Jackman, as much as I love your beautiful ass, you're not in my movie. Get off the set." She teased.Â
Hugh laughed, throwing his hands up, walking towards the side of the set, "You knew it would cost too much to book me." he said jokingly.Â
Tom and I sat in the middle of the set with the director as she explained the script and how she wanted the intimate scene to take place. "So, we're going to get you two ready for the shot, you'll both be wearing cover-ups, so you won't actually be naked, but you'll appear naked to the audience and to the cameras." We nodded in agreement. "Whenever she comes in, I want you to pin her to the door in a full on make out with second base type thing, but you'll both still be clothed for that scene."Â
We nodded, "Alright." we said in unison while going our separate ways to get into our character outfits. After about 30 minutes of changing and fixing our hair, we met back on set. A door separating us. This was my first time doing an intimate scene in a movie. I'd had brief kissing scenes over the years, but nothing to this level. I could feel my anxiety building as I took a deep breath, staring towards the door.Â
"And, action!" The director yelled, slamming a marker.Â
I grabbed the door, pushing it open to be met with Tom, grabbing me and intensely shoving me against it, pushing his lips onto mine. The kiss was deep, it was messy, there were shots where you see his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Tom wasn't a bad kisser by any means, I will say that. The director decided the scene wasn't her favorite and wanted to re-do it two more times afterwards, wanting Tom to be more aggressive each time we'd kissed.Â
I glanced over to Hugh, who was on the sidelines, playing on his phone. I could tell he was getting annoyed, but being the professional he is, not wanting to show it. Tom shook me from my thoughts, "You know, kissing you is pretty fun." He said, winking at me. I chuckled, not wanting to cause issues, but also shaking off the uncomfortable feeling his flirting was giving me. Hugh is typically not a jealous man, but I knew if he overheard the flirting, he'd knock this dude's teeth out and make sure he never did another Marvel movie again.Â
On the third shot of the kissing scene, I felt Tom's hand brush slightly across my breast. Not enough for me to really react, but enough for me to know he did it. Not knowing if this was truly a coincidence, I shrugged it off as we went to get ready for the sex scene. I was completely naked, besides a small skin colored cover-up that literally only covered my vagina. Tom was wearing a skin colored bag that hid his dick.Â
We wrapped ourselves in robes while we weren't filming to meet the director as she explained how she wanted the sex scene to go and what her expectations were. This was my first big film, and I knew if I wanted to score a good career, I had to sell it regardless of how I was feeling. As we made our way to the bed and stripped our robes, we both laid on the bed, under the comforter. The director wanted Tom on top of me, so he climbed on top of me and looked me dead in the eyes. I couldn't force myself to look over at Hugh, so I blocked him completely out of my brain and continued looking at the guy that was on top of me.Â
"And, action!" The director yells, slamming her marker.Â
Tom looked down at me, "Is this what you want?" He asks seductively, moving his hips in a motion as if he were positioning himself to enter me, throwing the comforter off of us, revealing our naked bodies.Â
I moaned, biting my lip, "I want you."Â
Tom stimulated his hips as if he'd slammed into me while I stimulated the scene to make it look as if I were matching his thrusts as both of us moaned. He took one of my nipples in his mouth and began sucking on it while still pretending to thrust into me while I drug my fingernails down his back and cried out his character's name.Â
The scene in the movie only showed the sex for about two minutes, before cutting to a scene of both of us cuddled in bed talking about how we couldn't let our spouses find out about what we'd done.Â
Tom giggled, "We can't let them know. This needs to be our dirty little secret."Â
I smirked, "I know, I know... But you fuck so much better than anyone I've ever been with. He'll be out of town working all week anyways."Â
Tom leaned down, kissing my head, holding me, "Do you know how long I've waited to do that? How hard it is being around you two and having to hide how hard my dick gets when you're around me... We're horrible people." He chuckled.Â
I rolled my eyes, "What they don't know won't hurt them." I said as I playfully trailed my fingers down his stomach, "I want more..." I said seductively.Â
"Cut! That was perfect, guys!" The director exclaimed, running towards us with our robes.Â
Filming for the day had ended and I hadn't looked at Hugh in hours. I was too afraid to. I know this is what actors do and he knows good and well how acting in films can be, but something in me felt like this was going to be a disaster. As I put my normal clothes back on and told everyone bye, I noticed Hugh was outside on his phone. He looked pissed.
I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around him, "I'm finished, baby. Do you want to get dinner?" I asked sweetly.Â
He glanced at me, ending the phone and walking to get in the car, "Not hungry." He grunted.Â
I opened the door of the car, awkwardly getting in, "We're going home." He said coldly.Â
"Are you okay?" I asked, reaching for his arm, only to have him pull away.Â
He kept his eyes focused on the road, "What's wrong, love? You won't even look at me." I said, starting to tear up.Â
He scoffed, "What's wrong? You enjoyed that! You were really getting into that wannabe Wolverine motherfucker all over you!" He spat.Â
My jaw dropped, "Excuse me? What are you talking about? I was doing my job, Hugh!"Â
He laughed annoyingly, "Really? Your job wasn't to look like you were shooting a motherfucking pornography movie. It was to do a two minute sex scene and you took it too fucking far with him. Do you want to fuck him that bad?"Â
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he really that jealous by me doing a sex scene in a movie he told me to audition for?Â
I shook my head, "What are you talking about right now? I did exactly what the director asked me to do." I said in defense.Â
He looked at me, "Really? Do you realize how fucking heartbreaking it is to watch a younger man, closer to your age all over you, sucking on your tits? Then you're both talking about good thing our spouses don't know. You know you were turned on by it. I know you."
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever, Hugh. Just get me home before I start walking. I'm seriously about to get out of this car."Â
He scoffed again, "Yeah? Go ring Tom, I'm sure he'll pick you up."Â
As we got home, he hopped out of the car, making sure he slammed the door and every door inside the house. He was being dramatic. Does seeing me stimulating a fake sex scene with an attractive actor that's younger than him bother him that badly? I'm literally doing what he does with other women, well maybe not that extreme, but does he forget that I have to see him kissing or flirting with other women onscreen in almost every movie or interview he does? I mean shit...Excuse me for just furthering my career.Â
As the night went on, he seemed to calm down. I found him playing his piano, looking lost in his own thoughts. I walked towards him, "Are you finally calm?" I asked bluntly, bracing myself for the reaction.Â
He shook his head cheekily, "I'm fine. Do you want to have a cuddle in bed?" He asked, smiling at me. Â
I nodded, "Of course, love." I said, while grabbing his hand, leading him to our bedroom.Â
As we approached the bed, he pushed me down, kissing me aggressively, biting and sucking on my bottom lip as if he were going to literally gnaw it off. "You really think he's better than me, huh?" He mumbled against my lips, causing me to roll my eyes.Â
I brushed the comment off and continued the kiss, "Answer me." He growled while pushing his boner into my hips. "No..." I said lowly. "No, what?" He spat back, pushing himself further into my hips. "No baby, I don't." I said, looking up at him.Â
"I sat on the side and watched him practically fuck you and touch you for hours. Do you know how fucking bad I wanted to rip his face off for touching my wife?" He asked as yanked my shirt off. "Watching him suck on your perfect tits... You're mine, do you understand that?" He said while pulling my pants off, leaving me in my bra and underwear.Â
I nodded, "Yours..." He sat back up pulling his own clothes off as he climbed back on top of me, pulling my panties to the side, shoving his fingers inside me, while sucking on my neck. "This is my pussy." He whispered into my ear as his fingers danced inside me.Â
I couldn't help the moan that escaped from my lips, "Oh fuck... Baby, don't stop." I moaned, while reaching for his boxers. "I want you."Â
He pulled them down, revealing his hard cock, "You want me? Are you sure you don't want Tom?" He asked, cocking his brow at me as he rubbed my clit.Â
I nodded, biting my lip so hard I could taste blood, "You're the only one I want..." I said as I reached for his cock, wrapping my hand around the length.Â
"Show me." He said, pulling me on top of him. I slid down his frame, kissing every inch of his torso as I made my way down to his manhood. I felt him place his hand on the back of my head as I took him into my mouth. I sucked hard on the tip while letting my hand work the base as I felt him start roughly thrusting into my mouth as he threw his head back, his moans filling the air.Â
"That's a good girl. Show me how much you want my dick." He moaned, as I began bobbing my head quicker taking his rough thrusts deep into the back of my throat.Â
This was not like Hugh, but I was loving every minute of it. It almost makes me wish I'd taken more opportunities to push his buttons. I could feel him throbbing in my mouth as he pulled out not wanting to cum just yet. He glanced down at me, motioning for me to get on my knees.Â
I did as I was told as I felt him push my panties to the side, entering me. His thrusts were fast and rough, not the sweet, romantic I was used to getting. He slapped my ass hard, "Is this what you wanted?" He grunted, "You wanted this cock, you don't want anyone else's cock, do you?" He gave a deeper thrust, "Answer me or I'll stop and you can go ring Tom instead." He yelled.Â
I threw my head back, trying to form words as the feeling of euphoria overtook my body. "Fuck! Don't stop!" I managed to scream between moans, "I only want you." I said, trying to not let myself go this soon.Â
He grabbed a handful of my hair, turning my face to look at him, "This is mine. All mine." He moaned. I could tell he was getting close, I could feel him throbbing inside me. "Cum for me, baby. Let me see how good I make you feel." He said while tugging on my hair.Â
I let go and exploded on him, literally falling down to the bed as I felt him cum deep inside me. He collapsed beside me, breathless. "Do you feel better now?" I asked him chuckling, sounding a bit amused while trying to catch my breath.Â
He chuckled, "I do. Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked sweetly.Â
There he was... There was my sweet baby. I smiled, "You didn't hurt me in a bad way, if that's what you're asking. Maybe I should make you jealous more often." I joked.
He laughed, pulling me closer to him, "Maybe so, love."Â Â
#fantasy#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#marvel#fan fiction#fandom#fem reader#oc art#wolverine#fanfic#smut#logan howlett#james howlett#fanfics#mcu#oc rp#wattpad#authors#creative writing#writers on tumblr#writing#imagination#one shot
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My Body Keeps Saying it's Yours
Pairing: Rhysand x Reader
Description: Some foolish males try to seduce you and Rhysand decides to show them who you belong to.
Warnings: Smut, Exhibitionism, Slight Dom/Sub dynamic, Abuse of power, Darker themes (not that much but just to be safe)
Word Count: 4304
Rating: 18+
Notes: This is just smut, couldn't get Rhys off my mind and this happened. Also I'm terrible with titles I'm so sorry. Enjoy!
You were making your way to your husband's office slowly. It wasn't that unusual for Rhys to ask you to come to his office in the middle of the day, you've shown up out of the blue so many times, for reasons as simple as finding a nice place for a nap or for a quickie on his desk, but something about the tone of his voice has you a bit nervous to find out what he's up to today.
Your suspicions are proven true when you open the door to find two males sitting on the sofa in the corner of his office, tied up in chains and, from the looks of it, under some sort of silencing spell, as they kept opening and closing their mouths to no avail, not being able to make a single sound. Their eyes were open wide in fear, almost begging you with their expression to help them.
You look back to your husband for an explanation but you find him sitting at his desk with a serene smile on his face, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. After a few moments of seeing you frozen in the middle of the office looking between the sofa and him, Rhys finally gets up, walking around his desk to stand in front of you.
âWelcome, my love.â He bends down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, still acting like this is a completely normal occurrence. At this proximity, you can, however, make out a glint in his violet eyes, one you know too well, one that promises trouble.
âWhat are they doing here, Rhys?â He merely keeps smiling down at you, running his thumb over your plush bottom lip. âWhat's going on?â
âI've never thought of myself as particularly lenient,â he starts with a sigh and traces a path down your jaw to the column of your throat, then wraps his hand fully around your neck, not pressing down, just holding you possessively, âbut it seems some people still need to be reminded not to covet my things.â The new information has you frowning, looking back at the tied up males to try to make sense of it. âWe're going to show them exactly who you belong to, darling.â
You remember now. These two males were invited to a banquet up in the House of Wind last weekend, just like so many of the more notable merchants in Velaris were. The economy in the city was thriving and Rhys thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the fae working hard to make that happen. The party lasted almost all night, which was to be expected in Velaris. Towards the end of the night, while Rhys followed through with his duties and entertained everyone in the room, you sneaked off to a quieter place for a moment to unwind. Azriel had sneaked off hours ago so you decided it was only fair that you got a break as well.
Unfortunately, two males, the ones present, had gotten too drunk or were just incredibly dumb and decided it was a good idea to try to seduce you, their High Lord's wife, in his own house. You tried not to cause a scene at the time, only slapping one of them and leaving Cassian to throw them out, but when you got back to the party, Rhys had immediately knocked at your mental walls to see what happened. You managed to convince him not to ruin the night for everyone and calm him down, showing him they hadn't actually done anything besides a few crude remarks.
Later that night, he had made it up to you, even apologizing for letting this happen. Of course you told him it wasn't his fault but you should have known your scheming High Lord wouldn't leave things at that. With a sigh you open your mind to him so hopefully he can show you what's going through his.
Do you trust me, darling? You'd be offended he even had to ask if you weren't so apprehensive about this situation. Every time you think you have a good read on his thoughts, he surprises you.
With anything. His answering smirk almost has you wishing to take the words back. He leans back against the edge of the desk, never breaking eye contact, and pulls you with him by your waist. Dropping a soft kiss to your lips, a kiss you know the meaning of too well. It's a reminder of sorts, of how much he loves you.
Your eyes move from his to the cowering males still tied up on the sofa. You have a feeling you know what he's about to do, what he wants to show them but you've never had an audience before. You can't help the anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
Do you want me to stop? You bite your lip and look back at him. You've never really thought about the possibility of anyone watching you in such a compromising position, but you don't think you're opposed to it at all. They won't do anything more than watch and you know Rhys will fix this if it all goes wrong anyway, one way or another.
No.
The look on his face as he leans down to kiss you again should be illegal, satisfaction and anticipation glowing beautifully on his features. This time there's nothing chaste about the kiss, it's nothing short of passionate. He's unhurried in his movements, letting himself taste you properly. I need you to be good for me now.
Breaking away from the consuming kiss, Rhys pushes you off him carefully to pick up one of the chairs by his desk. He carries it to the middle of the room and sets it back down so the confused males have a great view of it, sitting on it with spread legs, like a king on his throne.
He looks over to where you're standing and holds out a hand, you take it without hesitation, letting him guide you until you're standing in between his legs, with your back to them. You look down to his lap, taking notice of the bulge already waiting for you. He holds onto your waist to get your attention back on him.
âTake everything off first, my love.â You'd probably jump off the window to your left if he asked it in that tone of voice of his. You kick your shoes off first, slowly, while looking straight into his eyes. You know he has the power in this situation but you can't help but tease him at least a little, it'd be no fun if you just followed his every word blindly. He raises an eyebrow at the delay but he knows you too well, knows you don't really mean it.
The simple black dress drops to the floor soon after, leaving you only in your violet lacy panties. He seemed pleased at your choice, reaching out a hand to run his fingers over the hem of your undergarments. You thought he would be when you bought them, you just never imagined anyone else would see them. You suppose they help the point he's trying to make - a happy coincidence.
âI said everything.â You hook both your thumbs on each side of the panties and drag them down your legs slowly, making a show of bending down, letting your chest fall right into his line of sight. As you hear a gasp behind you, you remember they're also getting a show. The thought has you wanting to play into Rhys' idea even more, show them you'd never think of letting them touch you.
âShould I throw this at them?â You taunt as you dangle the piece of fabric from your index finger.
âNo,â he reaches out for it and puts it in his pocket, âThey don't get to smell how wet you are for me.â His words make you realize that you can't smell them at all, Rhys put up a shield between you. The possessive bastard.
âWhat will you have me do now, High Lord?â You know all too well exactly what he wants. Still, hearing him order you through it sounds delicious.
âOn your knees, darling,â his smirk deepens when you obey immediately, âTake me out. Show them what you can do to me.â
You can see the imprint of his throbbing cock through his trousers. Not being able to resist playing with him a little you gather your hair to one side of your face and look up at him with doe eyes before leaning down to lick his erection through his pants, leaving an open mouthed kiss on the tip.
He hisses and grabs onto your hair, pulling your head away to look into your eyes. A warning. You try to fight your smile by biting your lip. You love when he gives you warnings.
Luckily for him, you can't wait to feel him in your mouth. You're also committed to showing the disrespectful males what they won't ever be deserving of. Reaching out for his trousers, you make quick work of the buttons holding them close. Pulling them and his underwear down enough to let his cock slap back to his stomach, looking painfully hard and absolutely delicious.
You grab onto it, feeling its familiar weight in your hand before wrapping your lips around the head, swirling your tongue around, tasting him. You pull back just to hear him growl and lick up a stripe up his length with a smile. Gods, he's going to wreck you tonight.
Taking him back into your mouth, you start taking as much of him as you can, getting lower with each bob of your head, sucking harder, tightening your hand at the base, just the way you know he likes. His hand tangles back in your hair, softer now. Almost petting your head and caressing your cheek tenderly as he watches you.
âJust like that,â he moans out, âIsn't she absolutely breathtaking?â His heavy lidded gaze moves from the exquisite view of your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock to the sorry excuses of males that dared to think they could take you from him. âSuch a shame you won't ever get to feel her perfect mouth on you. Let me tell you, boys,â his gaze moves back to you, knowing the praise will get to your head, âIt feels like heaven, hell and everything in between.â
You take him deeper in response, determined to get everything into your mouth. He rakes his fingers through your scalp and throws his head back in a breathless moan, letting himself get lost in the pleasure, forgetting the show momentarily. His hips start thrusting into your mouth, slowly at first to let you get adjusted but, when it's clear you can take it, he holds onto your hair tighter and takes over, fucking your throat with slow, deep thrusts.
You start to feel your arousal dripping down to your thighs. It seems you enjoy the spectators more than you thought you would, you don't remember the last time you were this wet without even being touched. Reaching a hand down your body, you gather some of your slick and bring it up, circling your clit in small motions, taking some of the edge off, moaning softly.
âSucking my cock got you that needy?â He can try to tease you as much as he can but you can tell his voice is strained, he's getting close. Being watched is getting to him too, but it's the confirming moan you let out around his cock and whatever picture he finds in your open mind that has him moaning out your name and speeding up, uncaring of the slight choking noises erupting from you, cumming down your throat not long after.
He keeps thrusting into you slowly as he rides his orgasm out, mumbling mindless praise while stroking your head. After a few moments, he pulls you gently away from his sensitive cock and coos at you when you swallow the last bits of his cum without him even having to ask.
Rhys pulls you up and gives you a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on your tongue. You wince slightly into his mouth as you take your likely bruised knees off the floor, moving up higher to sit across his lap so you can reach him better. Never breaking the passionate kiss, he starts caressing your sore knees, making you moan in contentment.
You're both lost in your own little world for a while, tasting and touching each other, but it seems like he remembered what you were there to do because he pulls away from you, smirking at the wrecked look on your face and the string of saliva connecting both your lips. You move back to suck his bottom lip into your mouth, licking the string connecting you away, drawing a breathless moan from his lips.
âWe're being rude to our guests,â he says as he holds your hand up to his face, the still damp hand you had used to play with yourself before, and sucks the fingers into his mouth, moaning around them at your taste.
âYou were the one who invited them.â As his tongue swirls around your digits, you can only think of the mind shattering pleasure he can bring you with that tongue. Your guests could keep watching or take a dive out the window for all you cared.
âAnd I promised them a show.â He takes your hand out of his mouth to speak and it brings a pout to your lips. It seems you won't get to feel his skilled mouth today. Later. You smile victoriously at the reassurance. So spoiled. That's your fault.
He smiles fondly at you before turning you around in his lap, leaning you back into his chest and spreading your legs over his, making you face said guests. Your eyes widen a bit at what you see, you hadn't looked their way since before you even took your clothes off. Being able to see them, with their faces morphed into awe and horror, and a noticeable bulge on their pants has a tiny glint of fear spark in your body.
Rhysand moves to reassure you as soon as he feels you tense, stroking your body tenderly and kissing your neck, whispering into your ear, âI'm right here.â You relax almost instantly, you don't have to worry about the consequences when you're with him. He wouldn't let either of them hurt you or even get close to you. âLet me take care of you.â You nod and relax further into him, letting him take over.
You let yourself wonder what you must look like in the males' eyes, spread over their High Lord, completely naked while he was fully clothed in his dark suit. One of his hands moves to rest on your stomach and the other grabs one of your legs, spreading them open even more so your guests can have a good look at your wet cunt, all for him.
âHaving the privilege of watching is one you don't deserve,â he drops your leg, moving it over his so you can't close them even you wanted to, âBut since you were brave enough to try to make a move on my wife,â he drags his hand from your stomach straight to where you need him most, playing around with the wetness, making you drop your head back into him with a soft moan, âIt's only fair I show you exactly why you're not worthy of her.â Hearing him use his High Lord voice while he's taking care of you is making you tingly in all sorts of places.
After coating his fingers in your wetness, cursing softly at the amount he finds, he starts rubbing slow circles around your clit, just as you had done before. Letting you melt into him and become more malleable with each stroke.
âDo you hear that?â You open your eyes, not sure if he's talking to you or them but you get your answer when you see them nod with a terrified look on their faces. Seems like your husband got inside their minds. âThat's all for me. All of this,â he pulls his hand away to show them the wetness clinging to his skin, connecting him to your pussy, âis mine.â You nudge your hips up, reminding him to keep giving you the attention you deserve after you did such a good job for him. He complies with a chuckle.
He speeds up his pace and moves one hand up to play with your nipples, teasing them just as he knows you like. When he starts tracing your neck with sloppy, open mouth kisses, biting you softly every so often, you realize he wants you to cum fast. You almost forgot he was trying to prove a point.
Your hips start chasing his hand, greedily wanting more. As you're moving back and forth, you can feel him already hard and ready for you again. This makes you moan louder and sink your nails into anything you can reach, one of those things being his arm.
âWant me to stop?â He purrs into your ear, slowing down slightly, pulling a growl out of you.
âDon't you dare.â You stab your nails deeper into his skin, smelling blood.
He just chuckles and picks back up the pace. Looking up to watch your guests squirming in their seats and, you assume, to fuck with their minds further. He widens his legs more, taking yours with his, baring you even more to them.
âI'm going to make her cum now,â you let out something between a whimper and a plea, âAnd when she does, I need you to hear exactly whose name she'll moan.â
True to his word, he speeds up again, touching you exactly how you need him to. You're really getting close, your moans start getting louder, a mix of his name and please escaping your parted lips, until the knot getting impossibly tighter breaks, washing you away in waves of ecstasy, pulling you under until you can't breathe.
It doesn't take you as long to come to, you weren't completely satisfied after all, he was intentionally neglecting your fluttering entrance. When you do, you notice he has moved his hand to cup your cunt. You almost think it's a way to cover you after the show is over but, as you notice the glint in his eyes as he's staring them on, you know it's a way to mark his claim even more.
âRhysand.â You've played his game and you know the poor idiots more than got the message. You want him now.
âTell me, darling.â He looks back to you, moving to kiss your neck, biting at the already fading marks he left earlier.
âWant you to fuck me.â He hums, still sucking around your neck, not giving you any indication that he'll follow through with your request.
âWe have company.â What an infuriating time to start caring about the males sitting across from you.
âI don't care.â It seems like that was the answer he was looking for since he immediately turns you around and kisses you deeply. You can feel all the self control he was holding onto break as his kiss gets sloppier, more desperate. He stands up, lifting you up with him and walks to his desk, setting you down on the dark wood, devouring your mouth all the while. The room feels different around you and you don't have to look to know he let his power run untamed.
Urgency starts spreading inside you with each stroke of his tongue, moving to all but rip his clothes off him, needing to feel his body against your own, as close as physically possible. He breaks away from your mouth in favor of trailing kisses all over your chest, biting down on your nipples until you grab his hair and bring him back up to crash your lips against his once again.
You let your hand wander down his torso, running your nails just hard enough to leave red marks in their wake. Wasting no time, you grab onto his cock, giving him a few strokes so you can hear him moan into your mouth.
He pushes you down gently onto the desk, laying you down with no care for the important documents still scattered around it. He breathes out a curse as he holds onto your hips and watches your body sprawled before him, he knows he'll never tire of the sight. You take notice of the darkness that set itself in the room, you probably wouldn't even be able to see your guests through it. Not that you'd look away from him for anything right now.
Ever the tease, Rhys starts swirling the leaking head of his cock around your clit, playing with you before giving you what you want. He does this enough times that you were just about to snarl at him, but then he finally circles your entrance, pushing the head in slowly and bottoming out soon after, not being able to resist your sweet warmth.
The pace he sets is messy but you still try to meet him in his thrusts, you're both desperate, having only one thing in your minds. The hold he has on your hips is sure to bruise but he doesn't let up, and you keep begging him not to stop. You try to hold onto the desk, pushing some things to the floor, trying to keep a hold on your sanity as well. Your legs wrap around him, your body urging him to keep going. Not that he would ever dream of stopping.
You feel your orgasm reaching for you fast, screaming out his name in warning. He moves one hand to play with your clit once again, and it doesn't even take two thrusts before you're exploding around him. Your mind goes blank behind your eyes and you barely feel him cumming right after you, filling you up.
This time it takes you both longer to come back down to the world of the living. Mind blowing pleasure still teasing at every one of your nerve endings, your legs still shaking softly. You run your hand over your face before opening your eyes to catch him already staring down at you. He looks absolutely ruined. His hair is messy from both his hands and yours running through the dark locks, there were red marks all over his torso, down his hips and his arms, your marks. You don't have to see yourself to know you match his satiated expression.
Rhys helps you sit back up on the desk, wincing at the papers stuck to you and picking them off with a smile. Your muscles feel like soup but you still find the strength to hug him to you, leaving little kisses everywhere you can reach. You can't help but bite down on his collarbone when he pulls his spent cock out of you gently, burning with oversensitivity. He drops a kiss on your shoulder as an apology, wrapping one arm around you as well.
You're extremely uncomfortable sitting on the desk, you're probably ruining said desk with the cum dripping out of you too, but you refuse to move away from him. As you lean your head on his chest, almost purring at the way he's caressing your back, you look over to the tied up males, noticing they were unconscious.
âThey've already seen enough,â he explains when he catches you looking. You simply hum in response, at this point you don't care if they also see you fuck him or hug him. It won't matter either way.
âYou'll make them forget about it?â Your voice is scratchy from all the abuse your throat just endured, you could still feel him when you swallowed.
âOf course,â he nuzzles your hair, âWouldn't want them to remember how beautiful you are with my cock in your mouth or screaming my name in pure pleasure.â The reminder has your thighs clenching. Gods, this male makes you insatiable.
âWas that all for nothing then?â You move back enough to look into his eyes, not resisting giving him a soft kiss.
âNot for nothing,â he pecks your lips again before giving you an impish grin. âDo you realize how hard you just came?â Your body somehow still has the energy to blush a little at his words.
âThat's not what I meant.â You roll your eyes slowly, pouting a little. If he makes them forget about this whole situation, they won't learn their lesson. You hope they're not dumb enough to try hitting on you twice but if they did there was nothing you could do to save them from spending the rest of their days in Azriel's dungeons, you probably wouldn't even want to try to help them.
âI'll leave some of our previous talk intact. They can't forget who you belong to.â He looks over to the males with a serious look on his face, seems he's still on the fence about letting them go so easily. Being High Lord must be hard sometimes, having to be the voice of reason. âI'll let them remember how easily I could toy with their minds and have them think the rest was a nightmare.â
âAnd you're not worried about what your people would think if they knew how mean you can be?â You wrap your arms around his neck again, pulling him closer, always needing him closer.
âAs long as you still love me, darling,â he kisses your forehead before leaning back to smile down at you, âI don't care what anyone else thinks of me.â
#rhysand smut#rhys smut#rhysand x reader#rhys x reader#rhysand x you#rhysand x y/n#rhys x you#rhys x y/n#rhysand fanfic#rhys acotar#acotar fanfiction#divider by saradika#my writing
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