#we're back! it only took a month!
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[transcript under the cut]
Mrs Thompson: Good morning. Now, my name is Mrs Thompson, don't ask for my first name.
Some of you may have had me before, but for those who don't know, I am strictly no nonsense.
Well, that brings me to the summary of assignments this year. First, we'll be examining the themes of corruption in Darkness at Noon...
... In November, we'll focus on a quick, easy project so that you have a break over Christmas, it's going to be a speech that you'll present to the class...
... By March, we'll be looking into Shakespeare. Specifically, Macbeth, to focus on the overarching theme of–
*knock knock*
Mrs Thompson: Jean...?
Jean Salisbury: Mrs Thompson, it's a pleasure.
Mrs Thompson: Can't you see I'm busy right now?
Well, what have you interrupted my class for?
Jean Salisbury: He's a student – new – and he's in your class. Moved here from Maryland, poor thing.
I think you should settle him into the class.
Mrs Thompson: I don't need you to tell me what to do. Go sit at the front of the class...?
Jean Salisbury: Anthony. His name's Anthony Boswell.
Mrs Thompson: You're all highly capable students, or you should be. I trust you'll be able to handle the workload, or that you'll sort it out. And if you can't, then it'd be in your best interests to think of your future.
You only have one life, after all, and you're too young to ruin it just yet.
#we're back! it only took a month!#ignore the spelling error! i'm too tired to go back and fix it!#simblr#the sims#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 screenshots#sims story#sim: anthony#sim: jacob#tbip#tbip1#ts4 historical#ts4 story
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here's an update for all the "tOuRiSm iS fOr ThE pEoPlE" fucks. always remember that the second anyone steps foot on that land in the name of "tourism" or any other haole institution, that is colonizing&that person is a fucking explicit modern colonizer who made the conscious decision to be one and has spent a lot of fucking money on that trip to get their title. only that kine want more of their kin there-- don't pretend that shit is for anyone else.
drop dead of spontaneous combustion specifically, not even the sharks would want that pīlau fucking meat.
#video footage of haole families already in burnt wasteland is so fucking dystopic its almost funny#'funny' in the way of 'i might have rabies bc im foaming at the mouth lol'. bc fuck if i wouldnt literally#rip these ppl to fucking shreds. god bless whoever took the pics&vids bc i couldnt havd held my tongue.#you know we're all fucked when the governor is holding private back-chamber business-only meetings#to decide to open a fire wasteland two months after 1000+ ppl were killed&where ppl are still looking for remains to tourism#&it honestly seems so much less disgusting bc theres literally footage of haole families already disregarding any form of boundaries.#like this is what we've come to lmao.#i have so. much. violence. in me&no where to put it lmao. i want to go home. i miss home so bad. i am so fucking homesick.#i think the next person who responds to finding out im from hawaii w anecdotes of their trip there will probably get knocked out.#like i dont actually think i should be held responsible for that first hit. anything after is fair game tho i guess.#undescribed
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Bitty update number... 5? 6? Anyway!!
Sorry it's been so long since I updated you guys, work has been really busy and I guess these two have gotten better about staying out of sight. Or out of my sight at least, maybe I should ask my coworkers if they've seen anything? Although, I dunno if they'd be happy with these little guys running loose around here so maybe it's best if I don't...
Anyway, the only one I've been seeing kind of reliably is the horror bitty, who comes and sits across from me when I have my lunch to eat the food I left out. I still try not to say anything cause I don't want to frighten him.
Usually he's the only one I see, but then one day I spotted the little cross bitty peeking around a corner at me! I felt bad cause I was almost finished my lunch so I didn't have much to offer him, but I held out some of my chocolate bar for him anyway in case he was hungry. Well!! Apparently he was!
He came right up to me this time! Granted, he took a bite of the end of it and immediately ran off again, but that's a start right? He's definitely a lot more skittish than the horror one, but I did manage to feed him a couple more times and he seems to stay a little longer before he runs off.
I don't know if he has a particular thing for chocolate or if he's just excited about food because the horror one doesn't share lol
Speaking of the horror one!!
It took me a while to notice but, I guess he's been getting closer to me when we eat? He used to sit across the hall but now he's pretty much right next to me!
Maybe that's why the cross one feels more comfortable? I still don't want to do anything to spook him but he seems pretty chill, maybe if I'm lucky I can have 2 lunch buddies lol
#UTDR#UTMV#Bitty Boys#Horror bitty#Cross Bitty#It only took like 3 months but I remembered to do more of these lol#We're so back!!!#I forgot how much fun it is to put little guys into my pictures#It'll probably be a while longer before the next update because I'm off this week#But hopefully now as long as this one took ^^;#And I didn't really have room to fit any secret guys in the background of these ones#But rest assured that will happen again >:3c probably#In the meantime enjoy these hungry little guys#And feel free to leave advice or bitty knowledge!! I always love love love seeing it it's so cool
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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Jesus fucking christ read The Lady's Handbook For Her Mysterious Illness
#she really just came out and said the driving reason why we bother to see doctors at all these days#we're getting by on microdosing 'being heard' and people tell us to be grateful to have even that#but is it really 'being heard' if what theyre sharing is one off lines. one per doctor for us to look back on and feel real?#one from our previous doctor. one from a passing female nurse. one from the cardiac nurse. one from our physio#a lot of the time the things we latch on to to 'feel heard' arent even real acknowledgements#just a lack of opposition#which is what we normally face#we latched onto our new doctor so hard because in our first (and only - so far) appointment with her#she acknowledged our pain and suffering and difficulties - from both our illnesses and our lack of treatment - three times#thats all it took for us to switch to a new more expensive doctor that we cant actually afford to see regularly#compared to the doctor we could afford to see regularly (who was so booked out we saw him once every three months - if that)#shes the first doctor we've ever been excited to actually go back to. the first doctor we've been genuinely wholeheartedly excited to see#three acknowledgements on the first appointment. thats all it took. thats all we needed to have hope in a doctor again#we actually feel like we would get regular acknowledgements from her. not just the singular one to look back on out of years of appointments#trying not to get our hopes up because we've been crushed before but its hard
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known we were a system for about 7 years now, probably been a system for far longer, and just realised. we got an intrusive self-fakeclaiming thought today and laughed it away
#it does get better it does get easier eventually you will not fear being wrong or out of place#the thought felt like it just rolled away like a little creek washing over stones#it used to be a tsunami size wave that would throw us around and leave us feeling like we're not fitting in or even in the right place#and now we're just. solid and sturdy and the water's calmed to a tiny trickle#this is the first self-fakeclaiming thought we've had in i think months#and honestly probably only brought on by very new system members not being used to being alone in front#(it's rare for us. we're almost always cofronting. but sometimes it happens and it's so jarring)#rejecting the idea that we could possibly be faking this gives us this massive sense of wholeness like. this is who we are. and it's right#it feels right it feels like. we're real again. we're healing and able to learn. we're doing better. we feel whole like this#sharing this body with a million others will only ever bring us joy this is home this is love this is healing this is right#i love being plural#i love having a system#i love my headmates#we're so so close to hitting our real milestone of being functionally multiple#our challenge kinda. the goal we have to say Yes we feel we have functional multiplicity now#is to just. be able to connect all the sidesystems and have dormant people come back now and then and recover lost headmates#(TOBY WE *WILL* FIND YOU EVENTUALLY)#and it's starting! we've discovered people from BEFORE the syscovery we've brought back Blank and Ro multiple times#we talked to Bee once!!!! Bee literally hasn't fronted since fucking 2020!!! AND BEATRICE CAME BACK AND SHE'S TALL NOW??#and Siren came back!!!!!!! he was so so so fucking scared of falling out of the front rotation bc he thought he'd be lost forever but!!!!!#system wise i cannot believe how far we've come EVERYONE can feel the difference Ro and Blank get shocked by how much more cohesive we are#they were used to a constantly terrified proxy host and gatekeepers that loved to section stuff off and no communication#now it's like walking into a real place for them. they aren't used to headspace being this solid#when we started out WE DIDN'T HAVE ONE we had to manually build it and it took so long and so much focus#now it's as easy as closing our eyes#god i fucking love this im so happy right now
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coworker (derogatory)
#she just fucking. IRKS me#so we have the same job. same authority level. yet she acts like shes a lead#which would be fine im ok with others taking charge#IF THEY DO IT RIGHT#shes SO FUCKING BAD AT IT??#AND. we have senority!!#yes she is older than us physically but we have worked here for months longer!!!#if anyone is in charge (WHICH SHOULD BE THE LEAD) would it not be the guy who worked there longest???#uggghhhh#she came in late today then was like um youre doing potties wrong youre only supposed to fill half and leave the other stalls for ne#girl then be on time#im not waiting for u im not making the dogs wait for u#so she starts bringing my dogs back (against the rules) (we literally had a meeting last night)#im done arguing. just. fine. whatever. she better have charted or else thatll look bad on me since i brought the dogs out#confronts me later. make sure you fill the potty waters. i say i do. she says yeah but not enough#gestures to a bowl she has filled that is 1) smaller than the bowls in potties 2) TOO FULL#we're not supposed to fill them past halfway so they dont spill#and theyre in the potties for like. 15 minutes. even if they finish their water. im fairly sure its not that inhumane for them to#wait a few more minutes before they go back to their room#THEN. she goes to do feeding. someone is in a meeting where the ipads are (needed to track feeding)#only ipad out is for the front. the front also needs an ipad. so i am instructed to wait#few min later. she comes with an ipad. is the meeting over? no i took it from the front#GIRL.#and she always complains about being in group too much#bestie 90% of the job is group#if you get a day shift youre gonna spend it in group#chill#just. ugh#chaos chitters
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This is a personal post.
#random personal stuff#I felt bad for my friend today at church#it's her first time back in about a month#and she was getting ambushed by people who wanted to see the baby#which is to be expected! he's a little doll#but one woman was like 'I felt obligated to hug you all but I really came over here for the baby'#and...at least she was honest but ouch?#come on we all love K and we're happy to see HER SPECIFICALLY#we Value Her As An Individual#and the presence of her baby shouldn't mean that we treat her like she doesn't matter?#we can have lots of love in our hearts for both her and the baby at the same time!#she took it all right said she knew 'who the real MVP is'#but she did also joke that she only gets eye contact from people when she's not holding the baby#I tried to make a point of telling her that I for one was happy to see HER too - baby is cute but he's not the one who's my old friend (yet#anyway it's my mission now to make her feel as much loved as the baby is
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hmm
#having Thoughts that maybe i shouldnt be having#so i have a friend who's handsome hot nice kind sweet funny etc he's like the whole package#yesterday one of our friends told him i didnt have his contact saved on my phone and we (jokingly) made a whole thing out of it#so he took the convo from our gc to our private messages to let me know he had mine saved WITH A SUNFLOWER EMOJI NEXT TO MY NAME#bc ATTENTION according to him i am little flower and im radiant like the sun so = sunflower#like 🥹🥹🥹🥹❓❓❓❓#n then he told me i didnt have to change my pfp bc i alr looked pretty in it then he called me his love and today#we're all going to a party our friends' cheerleading squad is hosting right and he won't go bc he'll be busy that day#i was moping in the gc bc i wanted the promotional prices (im the only one who doesnt go to their uni n non student prices r higher) and#they weren't available anymore so he messaged me to tell me he'd help me go?? i said how he said he'd pay me the difference i was like 💀#so i said okay it's only like 10 bucks and he sent me 20 like hello? i know this doesnt sound like much but we're all broke college students#so like? why did he do it#he said if he wasn't able to go he'd like to at least help me go then sent me extra w a cute little message telling me to enjoy the party#and have fun and calling me a sweet pet name now im like . Confused#bottom line is idk if he's flirting and i probably won't bc a) he's already said he doesnt know to make a move on pretty girls and b) here's#the catch: we have a mutual friend who confessed to me like 3? months ago. i turned her down for a number of reasons n i also knew they had#hooked up before so when i said no ig they started hooking up/going out again? and i wasnt fully aware of that until like. last month#and prior to that i hit on him at a party at our friend's house and all he did was stand there kinda speechless 💀#so i took it as a no n moved on but now idk if its bc like. he was alr w her or he just got shy or if he actually just didnt want it at all#and im just imagining things. and circling back to it: i guess i wont find out bc 1) he won't do anything 2) idk whats the current status of#their relationship (ig over bc they weren't all over e/o at our last function) and 3) even if theyre not together anymore i absolutely would#not try anything behind our friend's back or w/o her knowledge or consent bc they did have something doesnt rly matter what it was and#shes still my friend above all so i gotta be mindful of her feelings for me AND for him and abt us or whatever#so yea thats something thats been on my mind since yesterday#im not like. suffering over it btw its just something on my mind that i wanted to share#i probably wont even do anything about it and then forget abt it next week lol#mari.txt#but also feel free to like comment on this or something i love it when yall r nosey lmfao
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When you make a breakthrough in writing and now you're going nonstop like the ill person you are.
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I AM A PLATFORMING GOD!!!!!!
(...except not really cause I still need the 38 time trial relics for that coveted 106% 😭)
#crash 4#holy shit can't believe i finally did#took me for fucking ever but all the n.sane relics are officially mine#now all that's left is to do the time trials and that shiny platinum trophy will finally be mine 😤#fun thing though is how im supposed to respond if someone asks how long it took me#if we're counting from when i played the game for the very first time back in june#then eight months#but if we're starting from my ps4 harddrive shit the bed and i had to do EVERYTHING over from scratch#(and i mean literally everything like i had 30/38 of the n.sane relics)#then just 4 months#which is funny cause it took me like only a month to get 29 of those n.sane relics the first time#and then THREE MONTHS to get crash landed's#only to lose all that progress the very next day after i finally beat it#that level was giving me so many problems and for absolutely no reason#that being said this time i beat it in like a couple of hours so that was a plus sjkhskdfhsdf#contrary to what i sounds like though i actually beat each level WAY faster the second time around#only reason it took me longer was because i was only playing the game for like an hour a day and not the 8+ i had been doing before#successfully caught up to where i was before the fated crash (hehe) just before the new year#and completed the last eight levels plus the 6 flashback tapes i was missing over janurary#now to see how long those platinum time trial relics will take me lol
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the urge to explain to everyone that i'm autistic so i do things they may find weird vs. the urge to never tell anyone ever because they're going to accuse me of lying 🫠
#vent tw#i had to tell my mom + aunt + aunt's fam when i first got my diagnosis and that was! hm!#i told some friends that i was going through with the assessment but never updated them on the results#i only really told my closest internet friends 🫠🫠🫠#it doesn't feel real like it's been a month and it doesn't Feel Real#tbf it took me like. a year to come to terms with my ADHD diagnosis too#this imposter syndrome thing is rough i'm always like 'meh i can handle it its fine i dont want to inconvenience people'#and then later 'god i should have inconvenienced them i'm so fuckijg stupid'#one of the reasons i want to leave my major too is the complete lack of sympathy for disabled people too#like sure there's SOME. like there's acknowledgement that behaviours can be difficult to change for a lot of people#but trying to bring a disabled perspective in is. it's not easy at all#literally in my DISABILITY STUDIES course trying to talk about it and being shut down and redirected#putting semi-pointed arguments in my midterm assignment about how autistic people sometimes struggle with unclear instructions#(semi-pointed because our instructor kept changing what she was saying so i was confused and wrote a 10 page rant about autism for it)#(ended up getting smthg like 60% because i 'didnt connect it back to what we were learning')#(i got an A overall somehow so there's no point in retaking it but i'm still :/ over that course)#(i was so excited for it too)#i think perhaps i'll do my health program assignment on autism#we're supposed to find a community and do a community evaluation#which is difficult honestly. my neighbourhood is heavily residential#(even though my uni is right up the road)#and there's something to be said about the overall lack of support for autistic adults#ooo. oooo i could do that
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we wanna relax and have a good time for the rest of the night but that DM like sapped all of our spoons and mental energy. like we feel straight up like a husk rn i cant even think thoughts beyond what im about to type and i still have to manage all my fuckin 5e spells, on top of convoluted homebrew spells [skull emoji] [skull emoji] [skull emoji]
#our t#note to self: being talked to like youre an idiot all day with no break#bc as soon as you take longer than 5 fucking minutes to do smth else that your life demands of you or to just talk to ur partner#youre met with a 'still good to continue?' which IS just a good faith clarifying question but your own cptsd and autistic Polite Mode#automatically says Yes Im All Good so youre sucked back into autism mansplain central#DOES NOT DO YOU ANY GOOD!!!!#if anything. ANYTHING along these lines happens tomorrow then im out. like im outta there for real and im takin our partner w/ us#im literally only giving them a second chance because we're both neurodivergent but i dont think we'll ever be friends. like ever#just not the right kinda ppl for e/o vibe wise#which sucks cause the player who invited us is rlly sweet and fun#oh my god i just checked the timestamps. 6 continual nonstop hours of this. im 🧍fuck of m8#they clearly think we dont know jack shit about fuck. dont much appreciate it#''5e is super easy dont worry!'' A MONTH AND 6 HOURS LATER. FOR ONE THING#sorry for venting so much we're just disabled and sick of it#obviously they dont know just how disabled we are but at the same time when we state that we need simpler language re the math#they took that to mean they gotta talk to us like we're 5. for 6 continual hours. awesome
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Having the weirdest experience w my tranexamic prescription and idk what to do abt it
#period talk ahead ->#anyways. so the first month I took tranexamic it did exactly what my doctor said it would. bleeding slowed down to the point#it barely felt like I was having a period. no clotting. it said stomach issues could be a side effect but I didn't experience that#so like. okay sure. we're not getting to the underlying problem of my weird horrible periods but we've treated 1.5/2ish problems w them so.#whatever.#2nd month I couldn't even take them bc my period started and by the time I could take the first dose it was already over#like. it was that short of a period. terribly heavy bleeding and clotting for roughly 4 hours and then it was done.#weird and definitely concerning but I knew better than to take off work for a dr visit cuz they wouldnt do shit#now we're on the 3rd month. again pretty heavy bleeding but it starts close enough to one of the dosage times that I can start the pills#but this time it hasn't slowed the bleeding down as much and there's a ton of clotting.#I'm also having weird hunger pangs that remind me a lot of when I was on steroids and it's fucking constant#also. last time I took them my cramps pretty much went away. and they haven't at all this time#and my abdomen is lowkey kinda sore at this point.#anyways. idk what to do cuz my dr told me to stay on them for 6 months before following up#but technically I've only taken them for 2 months.#but already I'm noticing decreased... whatever it's called when something works#but if I understand how this pill works according to my doctor it shouldn't lose effectiveness#both my OB and my PCP touted this as a practical miracle drug.#so anyways. I just don't know what to do lmfao#I really wish they'd just listened to me and put me under to do a biopsy or something cuz there's just no way this is normal#I just don't have the energy to fight back anymore.
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my aunt passed away today
#2 years ago she found out she had cervical cancer and it was pretty bad#spread to the surrounding tissue#she was so scared#she stopped talking to people slowly#and eventually stopped hanging out with her friends#only had her man to help out and bless him he was so good to her#he did everything for her and took time off of work for her#i always had strange feelings about him because when they met he was with his ex wife and ended up leaving her for my aunt#but then he was so good to my aunt and generally seemed like a really nice man#he was her only thing holding her sanity down#she lives in serbia#we live down here#she would viist us every summer#she couldn't last year#so we visited her in august#when we went over she said she had not left her apartment in 2 months besides going to the hospital#at that point her kidneys had started shutting down and he had to have a catethers in#we went to a restaurant with her#i remember not talking much to her and she didn't engage with me#she was just glad to be talking to my mom#because they're cousins but they were raised like they were sisters#and she cried so much while we were there#she said she was happy to see us#but that it felt like we were only there to see her one last time#we told her so many times how we were planning on seeing her the next summer back down in my granpas garden with us#how we're just stopping by because we missed her and not as a goodbye#she talked about how she was so scared of dying but suicide seemed like her only way out#the cancer was inoperable#chemo and radiation did nothing beside fry her body#she was miserable
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we share so many interests seeing danganronpa (though not a current interest was my sp/in for YEARS) on my dash genuinely gave me a heart attack 😭😭😭😭 i feel like so often when you reblog something from any fandom its like GUH BUH DOES .................does she know..? LOL [positive]
BAHAH OMG!!! u should tell me whenever i do rb something u like HEHHEHE
i have hyperfixated on danganronpa on two occasions of month-long timespans now ive acceptes it into my life. and nagito into my brain .
gosh i wonder what else im jumpscarin u with >v<
#the thing behind the nagito line i said is that my ex friend and i played dr2 together and i got to voice nagito for those entire 6 months#and that affected me greatly. sometimes i hear him narrating my life ...#anywyaaz i got back into it like. summer ? last year?#2023 that is#bc my gf was like omg ares .. ares we should play danganronpa itd be so funny. and i said You just want to see me fall back into#my darkest most despairful days don't u (jk. also omg despair mention (that was on purpose))#and so i got back into it but i got REALLY into it in november then one day i had the urge to draw two tpot again (i hadnt stopped it#just died down with all the danganronpa in my brain)#and they were simultaneous hyperfixations for a bit (hell) then the numbers took over entirely#i also got into the osc in summer#maybe i got into dr only in october? i dont remember well#anyways now my gf and i are also playing despair girls which is why i reblogged so much tokomaru. we're only right after the prologue tho#for now#YEAH!!#friend ask#yoylechess
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