#we'll see how drained I am these next coming days/week???

[charmre]

Just turned in the last? of my grad school stuff. Pray that they don't want to do an additional interview for me and just let me in 🙏🏼

[zeondraws]

I did things today!! Finished something on a discord server I mod, so that's done Finally completed this drawing, tho I am not happy with it. But I had to tell myself to leave it as is and move foward.

I shall work on the next drawing asap, sadly this AU won't come out this year, I'll take my time with it. Long projects are draining but... it's worth the experience?

Also guess what I finally tested in blender.

Ku posted Rennick's drowning animation on the server, which reminded me to try importing animations as well. I realised it's way harder to get animations to work with the non infected models. Due to meshes missing something... but we'll get there.

I also added sound to test it, which I found really cool to see.

Started working on that one drawing again I had to stop some time ago..

Let's see how long rendering THAT will take. I initially wanted to animate this, which I am nervous about.

Today I felt in a good mood, even by the fact I couldn't sleep much. I had a random panic attack in bed. They are very random and spontanious, it's hard to tell what triggers it.

I also met another artist on the train, I saw him doodle on his ipad and I was so mesmerised by it, I had to try and chat even tho I usually feel nervous approaching people. But holy shit their art is amazing

Ok, today was wild, fellas it is time for me to eep. I will only get 5h of sleep but. I'll take two days off work next week. Mostly need to get rid of these minus hours I have accumulated.

Today was something

Side eye

Himbbbb

[ell-arts]

Just some talking

Not quite a life update, but not quite an activity post either lol, just a plain post about some general things I guess?

I've slowed down quite a bit on content and activity on here. Ever since graduating and moving back in with my parents, I've been hit with art-lethargy and burnout fully settled in, and so I just kinda allowed myself to be stagnant for a while, recovering from the harrowing year that was 2023. It's been helpful. Of course, I couldn't rest for too long because I had to finalise my portfolio/CV and prepare for the working world. Good news is that starting today I'm working on a concept art/storyboard internship for an animation company for two weeks. I don't know if I'll stick with them after the internship ends, but I do have my eye on some other job offerings. We'll see.

I also just realised that 13 Jan was the 1-year anniversary of me returning to being active on Tumblr again. Since then, I believe I've made more content for PMATGA than ever before, and its all thanks to your support! Hoping for another year of PMATGA fanworks.

That being said, I want to get to the main point of this post. In the next few days (weeks?) I won't be talkative or very active for a bit.

If I may be honest, there's been a heck of a thing going on with my family and in my personal life right now. It's sucking at all of my energy and driving me to the point of having an anxious/depressive episode. Outside of work, I really don't have the motivation or will to work on any content at this point in time.

I've been trying to at least do small bits of writing, hoping to get a few fun drabbles out. But they're uninspired and being done haphazardly, because of emotional lethargy and feeling drained regarding irl drama. I am still barely recovering from last year's burnout from uni. So I'm not going to force it. My drive will come back in time, I just need time to readjust to a new work schedule and deal with personal issues first.

I know that Call Me Cyli is much anticipated. I know that The Veil has now gone precisely a full year without an update, equally as anticipated, if not more. I know how much you guys love these stories.

I am not giving up on them. I just need some time.

Hopefully, after I've landed a permanent job somewhere, I'll be able to have a bit more stability in my time and schedule.

Thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive during my first year back on Tumblr 💙 I'll see you when I see you :)

[luvrrszn]

Ok, this request is….something. but i’ve thought about for some time and would really like if you write it (if you don’t think that it’s weird and you’re comfortable!)

Basically, it’s an angsty one with a happy ending. Gabriella, who is in high school, is scared of coming out to parents, F!Reader and Miguel. It gets to a point that she slowly starts withdrawing from them. and one day she breaks down. F!Reader and Miguel, who have been worried about their baby girl, ask her what’s wrong and she finally comes out.

They both so accepting and loving of her at her confession, and swear that they would never love her less for who she loves.

a/n: anonnnnnn :' i'm so sorry for taking so long with this, i was just really unsure of how to go about this topic, and i still very much am. (for reference this has been in my inbox for MONTHSSS) this one's a short one, i rlly hope i didn't butcher ur req :' (not proofread btw...) (p.s. SEND IN MORE REQS GUYSS I LOVE THEM SM HEHHEHEHE and any qns at all, to get to know me, anything! <3)

you've noticed the odd behaviour. the always-hiding-in-her-room, keeping conversations short, closed-off behaviour.

your usually cheerful, full-of-energy daughter had become quiet , keeping to herself most of the time. at first, you thought it was normal. she was in high school after all, and growing up. maybe she just needed her space.

so you left her alone.

but as the days passed, she became more and more withdrawn, a complete opposite of the daughter you used to know. you were getting worried, as was miguel.

"what do we do? she won't talk to us, she barely even acknowledges us!" miguel asks, pacing around your shared bedroom. you sit on the edge of your bed, hands in your lap. you too are at a loss. what can you do to make her open up?

recently, any time you tried to ask her about how she'd been or why she'd been acting strange, she'd brush it off and excuse herself from the room. you knew something was on her mind, but the question was, what exactly?

"you know what? let's go to bed, miggy. we'll talk to her at breakfast tomorrow. i think something's bothering her."

—

the next morning, you find your daughter sitting at the dining table, on her phone. you and miguel sit opposite her, and the moment she notices, she gets up to leave.

you say, almost sounding like you're pleading, "stay, gabi. please. we'd like to talk to you."

she reluctantly sits back down, folding her hands in her lap, lightly picking at the skin on her fingers.

"gabi, we're worried. what's going on with you? is something wrong?" miguel asks, his eyes filled with concern. he had hated seeing his poor daughter so quiet, almost as if she'd lost herself, and everything that made her her had been drained from her body.

"there's nothing going on, papá. you're just being paranoid." she replied, still looking down at her lap.

"gabriella, you know you can talk to us, right? if there's anything bothering you at all, just tell us." you say.

"okay, mamá." with that, she got up and left.

—

a week later, you're making gabriella's favourite meal for lunch. as you go to get her from her room, you hear the faint sound of crying. worried, you knock on the door and say, "gabi, i'm coming in."

you find her on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she hugs her knees to her chest. you immediately sit next to her and pull her in close, burying your face in the top of her head.

you press a kiss on the top of her head, saying, "gabi, what's wrong? tell mamá, please."

through sobs and hiccups, she finally says, "mamá, i'm gay, okay? i like girls. there's nothing wrong with me, it's not a phase, i—"

"oh, baby. it's that what's been bothering you this whole time? i love you, gabriella. and there's nothing you could do to change that. i don't love you any less because of who you love. i love you so, so much. thank you for telling me." you say, stroking her hair.

you didn't even realise that miguel had come in. you only noticed when he sat on the other side of gabi, and wrapped both of you in his arms.

"gabi, there is nothing that changes the fact that you are our daughter. as long as you are alive, we will love you. no matter who you choose to love, what you choose to do, we will always support you and love you, okay?" miguel affirms.

"i love you guys." gabi says, chuckling through a sob.

[simplysnaps]

Tinder is a scam designed to capitalize on loneliness and never ever find you a partner. It started with an admirable enough business model, but over the years it has morphed into the most heinous, evil version of itself humanly possible. Not even a Saturday morning cartoon villain would be able to come up with such an intricate and immoral system.

First off, you know how Tinder works right? You swipe right if you wanna match with the person, and you swipe left if you don't. Seems simple enough, right? We live in a meritocracy where the quality of your pictures and the wittiness of your bio will determine whether or not you find a match? Surely we'll be on a date and out of here within a week, right?

You forget one thing. Tinder is a business. Its product is hope, not love. If you find a partner, you won't be a customer anymore. Because of this simple truth, it's in Tinder's best interest to keep you pining after love for as long as humanly possible before somehow finding a partner, or deleting the app in despair.

Well okay, Snappy, I get it. They run ads! That's not immoral! They have to do that! -An innocent soul.

Let me explain how Tinder makes money. I haven't used it in a few years, but I remember it well. First off, the app all about "swiping until you find true love" sure doesn't like you swiping that much. In fact, you only get to swipe about ten times a day.

But what if I wanna swipe more than ten times a day? You're totally allowed to! If you GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY! This is the first step into the hell that is Tinder. They hook you on seeing little cuties and hulking hunks and right when you're in a rhythm they cut you off and demand $10 for some bullshit "Tinder Premium."

Alright, I guess $10 a month isn't that bad if you're gonna find love in a week or two, right?

Well now you have unlimited swipes, but the pain doesn't end there. You see, you haven't actually gotten a single match yet. But Tinder will let you know with obnoxious push notifications on your phone's home screen and spammy numbers in the app that people ARE SWIPING RIGHT, you just can't see them.

Would you like to see them?

If you wanna see who likes you on Tinder, then Tinder Premium isn't enough. No, now you need to subscribe to Tinder Gold. While unlimited swipes was already close to a Netflix subscription's cost, Tinder Gold is going to run you a whopping $24.99 A MONTH!

$24.99 a month just to see who likes you! Sure, you don't have to buy it, but Tinder will NEVER stop sending you push notifications and shoving it in your face while you're using the app. That golden circle with the number of people who have swiped right on you keeps getting higher and higher... You haven't gotten a single match yet, and you're desperate. So you purchase Tinder Gold. $24.99 down the drain. But at least you're guaranteed some matches, right?

But wait a minute... You already swiped through everyone you could reasonably find in your area, right? With your trusty unlimited swipes, you spent a good three hours just grinding through the backlog and now it's empty. So who are these mystery people?

That's the next layer of deceit. Tinder will tell you that you've completely run out of people when that is just not true. Also, there are people you will never see because Tinder actually has a social rating system that determines your "desirability" and can permanently shunt you down into the dredges of virtual society, never to be shown to people ever again.

You heard that right. Tinder has a hidden ranking system. It has a secret ELO score for every single user, and if your score is beneath a certain threshold, you will never be shown to high ranking people ever again. But this is a double-edged sword, because it also shows you the highest ranking people in YOUR feed to coerce you into spending big on those love-finding subscriptions so you can actually talk to some of them.

I am not making this up. Source.

So your Tinder feed is completely empty. You've been reduced to the bottom of the social ladder, and you can't seem to get more than one or two swipes in every day before you see that tragic "You've Run out of People! Expand your search radius here!" text.

But at least you purchased Tinder Gold for $24.99, right? So you can finally check out that stockpile of people who swiped right on you!

Hey..... Wait a minute...

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU'VE ALREADY SWIPED LEFT ON!

That's right. The final nail in the coffin is here. Those golden silhouettes Tinder kept harassing you with every single day, the number that just kept on getting higher? 6 people like you! 10 people like you! 15 cutiepies love you! It's too much to bear! So you do it! You spend $24.99, only to realize that the people who have been liking you are people you've already declined.

That's it, then. I guess there's nothing left to do but lick your wounds, feel a little ashamed, and delete the app. Maybe you'll make this mistake two or three more times before finally realizing it's a total sham, but the results are the same.

One thing someone might argue is "Tinder gold is only $24.99 a month if you go monthly! If you purchase it as an annual subscription, it's only $8.33 a month!"

To that, I have one simple question... Why the FUCK would someone be using Tinder for an entire year if it actually fucking worked? Especially if Tinder Gold worked as advertised! Infinite swipes, see everyone who liked you, five superlikes a day, (we didn't even have time to get into how fucked up super-likes are), etc.!

They kinda give the entire game away by even offering an annual subscription. If Tinder fucking works, why the hell would you need to use it for an entire year? Or two years? Or maybe three years!

Say it with me class: It's because Tinder is designed to keep you sad, lonely, and depressed for as long as humanly possible without ever delivering on the product it promised you, because Tinder does not sell love, it sells hope.

But hope is only good for so long, especially when it comes with an annual subscription.

[miss-writes-a-lot]

An Update

Time for my monthly post explaining why I'm not putting out content for my ao3! Warning, it is long and a bit vulnerable. Trigger warnings for depression, anxiety, chronic pain, intrusive thoughts, and some self-destructive ideation.

Mainly it's college. College has been kicking my ass this spring semester. It feels as though with each semester that passes, I get less and less time to work on things. Even now, my spring break week, I have to read three different essays for a timed essay coming up next week. So, in general, it feels like I don't really have a break to myself and to do things for me most of the time.

For the part, I've just been depressed. I don't share this a lot but I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 16 that just this past summer has gotten worse. And of course, doctors don't know what it is! Hooray!/s. It's taken a lot of energy out of me and has made me reflect on how much I seemed to have taken for granted when I was "healthy", and it leads me to feel so down about how nowadays, it feels like I can hardly do anything or go anywhere without worrying about being sick or getting fatigued easily.

It's been draining me dry and I can hardly bring myself to do my work, or even write this post. I lay awake wondering what's wrong with me and being paralyzed by the fear of it being something really serious, maybe even deadly (though that still has not been confirmed). It's hard to take care of myself or even think semi-positively about myself. There was a good chunk of this month where I could barely sit and have proper conversations with people because I'm either too focused on the pain or too in my own head, thinking about how these people must hate me when that probably isn't the case at all. It made it difficult for me to want to go to school and sometimes to even try and find help or help myself.

And overall, it's been hard to motivate myself. I have ideas that I want to write and fics I want to finish, but with a combination of said depression, lack of motivation, lack of self-confidence, and probably genuine laziness, I haven't written anything that doesn't feel rushed or right to me. I scrutinize everything I write, both past and present. Just an hour or two ago, I was reading through an old fic I wrote (Suzume's 2nd debut fic) and noticed a redundant sentence, and the overall vibe/voice for the fic and damn near went into a spiral about how bad it was and how much I dislike it now, which has made it difficult to see any potential in myself as both a writer and a valuable person.

I am getting help now, feeling a tad better but still struggling with a lot that is really personal and I don't feel like getting into all of that right now. I am going to try and work on a fic again, just because I haven't written anything proper in a while and I genuinely do miss it! But, I might take the last three days of my break off from everything. Maybe try and let myself be lazy so maybe I can recuperate. I bought some stuff like planters and seeds so I can get a garden going. Maybe it'll be my new hobby! I did say I was going to try and go outside more. Maybe this'll be good for me.

Hoping to at least do what I did last year and post some things to this blog specifically and see if anyone is interested in what I have going - both fanfiction and original work alike.

Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through these trying times. Maybe one day this year, we'll see some sort of progress or betterment in the world. That's the hope at least.

Hope to see you all soon!

[purplesurveys]

1719

Do you still read the newspaper or have an online newspaper subscription? I have to check the news everyday for work purposes. That's multiple websites of newspapers, their social media accounts, and online magazines.

What's your favourite kind of meat? (vegan/vegetarian options count!) Chicken. I only like pork as pork belly tbh, and steak for me is always a hit or miss.

Have you ever been mistaken for staff at a store you were just visiting? Maybe once or twice; it doesn't happen often. I've been mistaken more frequently as someone's companion. Like people will think they're talking to their friend when it's me.

What's the coolest or most memorable animal you've ever seen at a zoo? The Philippine eagle, but I don't really get *amazed* per se when I see 'cool' animals at zoos. I just feel bad.

Do you share a bedroom with anybody? No. My sister and I tried to share a room once, but it lasted for all of a week because she hated sharing a room with anyone lol. The room also felt super cramped so we quickly decided it wasn't going to work.

What colour are the public buses where you live? We have these white mini-buses that'll pass by here every now and then, and they're white. The bigger buses that traverse Edsa are white and yellow if I'm not mistaken.

How often do you pay your utilities bills? I'm not assigned to any bills in particular, but I transfer to my parents' accounts twice a month. I let them decide how to allot the money.

What video game have you played the most hours of? If you don't know, just make a rough guess. I would guess The Sims 2; that or GTA San Andreas.

Do you own a two-piece bikini? I only own bikinis; I hate how one-pieces feel.

Is there anybody else in the room you're in right now? Nopes.

What have you got within reaching distance of you right now? My phone, my McDonald's orders, pillows, chargers, blanket, work chair, vape.

What have you been craving lately, food-wise? Anything non-food? McDonald's. I overordered last night because I was hungry so I got all my favorites lmao - a triple cheeseburger, large fries, and nuggets.

Is your short-term or long-term memory worse? My short-term memory is horrible; it comes as a disadvantage especially at work and I wouldn't blame my co-workers if they label me as forgetful.

Do you do anything in particular to help you fall asleep? I need to have videos on with the volume at the lowest setting. To avoid draining my battery I have a timer set so that when it runs out my phone will automatically turn the video off.

What was the weather like today? Too early to tell; it's only 7:20 AM. Right now the sun is out but I also wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly rains super aggressively later on in the day as that pattern has been happening lately.

Who will you see within the next week? My dentist, and I am guessing Angela, Hans, and Reena. We've been dying to go to the karaoke these days and I think we'll finally get to next Monday as it will be a public holiday.

Do you have any guilty pleasure music? Anything you're willing to admit in this survey answer? Idk if there's any? I don't feel guilty about anyone whose songs I like.

What was the last movie you watched that was over two hours long? It's been so long since I watched a long movie. It was probably either Titanic or Gone with the Wind.

Speaking of which, what's the longest you think a movie should be? I personally think most movies are too long. It depends on the plot and execution, so I'm not very nitpicky when it comes to this. If a movie needs to be 7 hours long to get its message and art across then so be it.

Do you know anyone who is a medical nurse or doctor? Yes so many people. I'm Asian (aka kids are pressured to be doctors) and Filipino (aka a heavyweight in nursing), so it checks out hah.

Have you ever worked night shifts? If so, did you like it? I have not. I once scored a job interview that would have been a night shift if I got the gig, but at the last minute I decided I didn't want to be in it so I didn't push through with the interview.

Are you good at fixing computer problems? I'd say just basic ones but I'll struggle with even those sometimes, so for the most part no. I leave the troubleshooting to my sister.

Do you tend to make decisions by following your heart or your head? Head.

What's the population of your current city/town? A little below one million.

Do your parents live in their hometown(s)? Nope.

What are you wearing today? My favorite purple pajamas.

Are you one to accessorise a lot? Not at all.

What language other than English do you know the most words of? Filipino.

When was the last time you ate? Did you eat something nice? I'm taking a few bites out of my cheeseburger every now and then this morning. Like I said, I overordered McDonald's last night because I was hungry LOL so most of the shit I got is still here with me today. The only thing I finished last night was the fries and that's because there's no way you can save fries that have gone cold.

[andswarwrites]

Day 15

Officially halfway through the month.  I have a few thoughts on friendship and relationships that I would like to share.  I didn't figure out until young adulthood that I am introverted, because I'm a people person with a friendly personality (mostly) and everyone assumed I was an extrovert.  My family thought I would thrive in the hospitality business, and there was a quaint little Inn not far from our house, and my sister worked there for a while, so my family arranged for me to get a job there.

I worked in rooms, then laundry, then waitressing, and then I was trained in set up for banquets.  The more I had to interact with other people, the more drained I was after work.  Still thinking I was an extrovert, I continued to look for work that brought me around people: I worked ever so briefly in retail, and then I got a job at a sushi place.  And then I just stopped working for a pay cheque.  Later in life I volunteered in a school library, and that work environment suited me perfectly.

I value every friendship I have, including the friendship I have with my husband.  I have a friendship with my mom, so I want my daughter to have a friendship with me when she grows up and is no longer subject to her parents' authority.  I spend one-on-one time with her, and I let her tell me what's in her head and heart without fear of judgement or reprisal.  I offer counsel, I offer advice, but I also apologize to her when I mess up.  I need to invest a lot of time in my relationships with those in my household first, and as an introvert that can be challenging.

Thankfully, both my husband and daughter understand when I ask them to go spend some father-daughter time together, and let me get some alone time.  S- has told me that the time he spends with N- driving somewhere in the car, with her in the seat next to him, helps the two of them remain close.  I think it's important that he and I get that one-on-one time, that he and N- and N- and I get one-on-one time, but also that the three of us spend time playing board games, eating a meal, going for a hike.

When I was young I had one friend.  She was my best friend.  I liked playing with other kids as well, but she was more like a sister than just a friend.  Every time I see her or talk to her, even if it's been years, there's no awkwardness: we slip right back into our natural way with each other.  She is what I call a forever friend.  As long as we live, we'll be there for each other, and care about one another.  She was my maid of honor, just as a detail.

I also have a friend who is an extrovert.  Yet she is a romantic, musical soul, expressive and sensitive, so she and I click.  I have a friend who is quite a few years younger than me, and I have another friend who is even younger than her, and yet the age difference doesn't matter.  I have friends who are around a decade or even two older than I am, and I have a dear friend who is around the same age as my mom.  The point I am trying to make is that each of these friendships are distinct, unique, precious, and if I'd made an arbitrary rule that my only friendships could be with people one or two years different in age from me, I would have missed out.

Not all of my friends have kids.  Those of my friends who do have kids are at a different stage of parenting from me.  I find that fun, honestly.  My friend whose kids are all grown up can give me advice for the stage I'm at, and when I'm with my friends whose kids are younger than N-, I can enjoy and reminisce on how it was with N- when she was that age.  And when I am with my friends who are either single or just not at that stage in their life, they befriend N- as much as they befriend me.

A few weeks ago I walked about 20 000 steps in one afternoon.  I walked over to a fellow introvert's house.  I texted first, to check that it was not a "hermit day" as she calls them.  It was, but she was okay with me coming by anyway, so I walked over, and we went for a little walk together, after sitting and sipping a tea and chatting.  I left her place and I wasn't quite ready to go home, so I walked all the way over to a park by the water, the park I used to walk to on a regular basis when we lived in the area.  It was a nice afternoon.

I've figured out that when I feel isolated, wishing that my friends were reaching out to me won't do any good.  That's when I need to send a text, or even just share a meme.  That may seem small, but receiving a reply or even just a laughing emoji will help me to feel connected to my friends again.  And receiving an impulsive text from one of my friends at some point in the day brightens said day incredibly.  And yes, we do like making plans, but I can't handle groups of more than eight people in my home.

The noisier and more crowded a place is, the less likelihood I can cope with it.  That's why corners are my friend, and if you see me lingering next to an exit, that means I am ready to bolt.  If I'm outside, I'm having a hard time and I need a few minutes to recover.  I know parties are supposed to be fun, and for most people they are, but what makes them bearable for me is to endure them with a fellow introvert who will seek out a quiet corner with me, so we can just chill and talk (while she knits (you know who you are <3)).

[apostatehamster]

the saga continues

Lengthy word vomit, beware

So since the last time complaining I sent out some applications. Not many, mind you becaus eI could not physically get myself to apply to the most the shit that's being offered around me. Most Graphic artist stuff I find is Marketing, and I am absolute shit at selling stuff and would rather shoot myself in the head than deal with social media 24/7 at my job. I hate Marketing. So Since then I sent out 5 Applications.

One was a company my friend works at, he even set up an referral link for me on the application online portal. I was sooo cocksure back then that I could do this, still. It was a company where a friend is working, I even had a referral, and it was an activity that sounded amazing and the benefits would have been amazing.

Well after a month they wrote me back with a resounding no.

Circling between depression and petulance, I scrounged up 10 more job offers but only got myself to apply for the 4 most promising ones.

Well two declined, one is still pending but I have zero hopes in that one tbh and one company actually invited me to an online job interview! Cool progress!

But this company has a funny story. So, our grpahic team has been reduced from 7 to 2 people (me and my bff here), but also some other people from videoproduction got axed. So this company kind of works in the same field as ours and two of our ex colleagues (one from my team) now work there, which is how I found out about them. My ex team mate kind of vouched for me, which is why I guess I got an interview in the first place. Gotta use the few connections I have ig. But anyway another ex team mate also applied, and since they are searching for two more people, we were joking around: haha what if we both get accepted and then we'll become a team again.

But here's the thing. We had our job interview the same day. The people there said, if they choose to continue, we would be called in to a second interview round.

She got an invitation for next week. I didn't. Maybe it's still coming but I honestly don't think so.

And while I am hoping she gets this job, because she actually needs a job while i still have one and am searching to change, it still stings. I was her senior in our team, and she has 1 1/2 years of experience while I have 9.

Logically I know 5 applications are a big bag of nothing, but these fucking measly 5 took everything out of me already. I'm scraping the bottom of my energy reservoir, it's affecting my mood so badly I ended up in an artblock (although im slowly recovering there i think, since i actively stopped searching for jobs)

I wanted to get away from my current company because the way they handled shit and the consequences of it left me hollow and depressed, looking at the emptiness of our office and listening to their resounding silence about what they've done. But right now the search and rejection is even more draining than the simply staying. I will not stop searching completely, but I am at least reconsidering the urgency. I do have a stable job, which unfortunately I really fucking enjoy doing. A lot!!!! The surroundings just suck big time. But I shouldn't be hasty in grabbing the next best (or not not best) thing out of spite, to leave.

At least my colleague is still there, and bless his heart, i couldn't do this without him. So far he hasnt been applying to jobs himself, I think he is just weary as well, and isn't that sad....

Bottom line of this, I am exhausted and my self esteem is in the minus area. I'm used to people picking others over me in the romantic sense or just social sense, I could at least pride myself on being good at what I do, being a somewhat functioning thing. But now even in the job sense, people picking others over me when I know I have more expertise, makes me wonder what the fuck I am even doing.

Soldiering on I guess.

//Side note, i do have friends reassuring me that I am skilled and companies are stupid for not seeing this and yadda yadda, I heard it all. Does not change the fact that I am not good enough in their eyes, so please do not see this as a cry for affirmation. I know the job market is rough and weird sometimes, but it's a downer nonetheless

everything’s so emotionally draining man, auuugh

Keep reading

[myfriendsstinkyfeet]

Like every day of work, Tom comes home exhausted by this interminable week.

He only has one thing in mind: to make me take off his shoes and press his hot, smelly feet to my face 😈

A cloud of smell escaped from his stinky shoes! His socks were filthy and stunk so badly 🥵

Tom said : "Come on! You're dying to stick your nose in the crook of my toes! The smell pulls you in and pushes you to put your face on my hot, fresh-out-of-the-shoe feet! My socks are so filthy and stinky that I could smell them through my shoes! I'm not surprised, considering I've had them on for work for over a month! Just for you ! Show me how you like them!😈"

I press my face against his stinky feet! A soft moan of pleasure escapes my mouth. Head against his smoking feet, I am literally in Heaven! 🤤

Tom is well aware of the extreme submission in which I am faced with these magnificent feet 😈

I start pulling one of his socks off, the stench is even more intense underneath! 🥵

He starts wiggling his toes and says, "I know you can't resist my feet when I do this! Come on! Worship them like they deserve! You know how much my feet love you taking care of them!"😈

"Yeah!!!! That's right! I see you're very excited by the stiffness in your boxers! That's good! Your devotion is total! Now it's time of the offering mon chéri! Take your peacock out of its hiding place and rub it against my divine feet! Let it show how much it loves and venerates them!"😏

The smell was so strong, the feel of the skin on the sole of his foot was so good that my glans wet like a fountain! To stifle my moans of pleasure I took his smelly socks and stuck them on my nose! 🤤 The smell they gave off increased my pleasure and the intensity of the moans!

"Wow! Your peacock is properly worshiping my hot, stinky feet! But it's time for them to receive their offering!" 😈

Suddenly, Tom took control of my peacock and sequestered it with the soles of his feet, one in front to hold it and the other on top. The sole of the top foot began to back and forth along my glans. it was so good and unexpected that he began to wet and lubricate the sole of his foot, making the thing even more pleasant and horny!

"My soles want your sweet nectar! They will drain you until you get your precious foot submissive lotion!😈 Come on Adam, be a nice boy! Spit your nectar now!"

Hearing these words, I wet even more, making the thing even more enjoyable! I felt that I couldn't hold on any longer, the point of no return was approaching! Feeling the sole of his foot literally making love to my glans was so divine! The back and forth along my peacock made me feel in paradise!

A big dose of nectar suddenly poured out, flooding his soles, my peacock spreading its offering on Tom's soles without moderation. "Once again, my feet are well hydrated! Next time, we'll see if you hold more!" 😈

#Tom'sFeet

[exilethegame]

Writing Update (05/11/22)

As of now, Chapter 5 is 15k words!

Every time I go on a writing break I feel drained and tired for any amount of reasons and get scared I won't have the energy to come back to the project, but the opposite ends up being true. In a shocking turn of events, it turns out when you give yourself time to work things out, the stress actually does go away!

With this realization I have also completed my finals and have successfully gotten through yet another year of schooling. With that, it's time to get back into writing, which I am very excited to do!

A lot of Chapter Five is getting affairs in order and establishing what MC's long-term relationships are going to be with the crew going forward. This means there will be less jumping between relationship statuses. For example, there's somewhere around five different relationships you can have with Vethna in Chapters 1-4, and you can jump between those relationships relatively fluidly as the chapters continue. That won't be the case as much in the next portion of the story, but because of that, I'll be able to write more flavor dialogue since I won't be writing as many variations that include if the relationship changed or not.

You'll get to see all the characters openly interacting with each other, which I am very excited to do, especially since MC can insert themselves into some of the conflicts/conversations happening, which can change dynamics a lot. I really want MC to feel an integral part of the world and group considering they're... well... a main character... it's just a matter of making sure to balance choices with realistic expectations on how much variation can fit within a scene.

Once I finish Chapter Five I plan to really sit down and set deadlines for the rest of the game-- that'll help give me a general idea of how long it will take to finish the game (which is still a ways away, but I think we'll all like having a more solidified timeline to follow).

Anyway, that's all for this update! I'mma take a breather for the next few days before jumping into writing again. Thanks for sticking around-- hopefully I'll be able to get around to all the asks that have been sent in the past few weeks!

[cherrycheridarling]

dap me up | t.h.

tom holland x actress!reader

warnings: somewhat smut? swearing and fluff

summary: during an interview for your new film, tom exposes your odd routine during intimate scenes and your favourite flower.

a/n: i got carried away. there's a lot going on in here. enjoy?

wc: 2.6k

"Hello! I'm Adrien Fox with Pop Sugar and we are here with stars of the new film 'Week Off', Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!" Adrien introduced you and Tom to the cameras.

You and Tom gave little waves, "Hello!"

"Now, let's get right into it."

Adrien began asking generic questions while you tried your best to prevent any spoilers from leaving Tom's lips.

"Can you explain the movie a bit to anyone who is unfamiliar with the book or hasn't watched the trailer?"

Tom opened his mouth to speak before closing it, "I think I'll let Y/N do that."

Adrien laughed before you spoke, "Yeah, um. It's basically a comedy with a little rated R content. Some romance, but mostly raunchy and hilarious stuff. It follows the employees in this law firm and their vacation away from work. Lots ensues during said trip including relationships, arguments and too much drinking."

"And you guys worked with many famous actors and actresses in this film. Like, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, Zendaya, Chris Hemsworth, Kevin Hart, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and The Rock. How was working with that many iconic people in the industry? You guys are obviously incredibly well known as well, but I imagine some of these people were your idols growing up." Adrien asked and you and Tom nodded.

"Yeah, uh, yeah. It was an honour. Absolutely amazing. Like, I never imagined I'd be making films, let alone films with stars like Kevin Hart and Emma Stone, you know? I'm just really proud of this one and I love everyone who we worked on it with." Tom gave his answer making you nod.

You cleared your throat, "Yeah, Zendaya is my best friend and she has been for years, long before this movie came along, but I still got so excited about working with her. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing, so hilarious. You put her and Chris into a room together and it's just comedy central." you laughed with Tom at the memory.

"We've seen in the trailer that you two share many intimate and – may I say – risqué scenes in this film. Was it hard to keep that level of professionalism and friendship while shooting those scenes?"

You let out a little chuckle at the question before Tom rubbed his chin and spoke, "Since Y/N and I are already good friends off screen, I thought it would be awkward filming those scenes, but Y/N does this weird handshake after every take and it wasn't awkward 'cause it just made me laugh."

Adrien laughed a little before speaking, "What handshake?"

You shook your head with a smile as you recalled the first time you ever did the handshake with Tom.

"Ready, Holland?" you had your pyjamas on and were making your way to your mark in the set of your character's hotel room.

Tom nodded before following you in, cameras and crew hot on his heels, "Ready as I'll ever be."

He was shirtless. A pair of loose fitting grey shorts hung low on his waist. His costume for this scene as Niko Sai.

A black silk slip hung carelessly off of your frame. Ending at the middle of your thighs, v-neck dipping low on your chest. Your costume for Kora Patel.

"We're going to take it from Tom's line; 'You want me just as much as I want you'. Okay?" you and Tom gave a thumbs up, "Action!"

"You want me just as much as I want you. Everytime you sneak a glance at me and you think I don't see, but I do because I'm already looking at you, Patel." Tom walked behind you, looking at you through the mirror in front of you. "I don't blame you, I am incredibly good looking." he smirked to himself.

"I'm guessing you couldn't fit your shirt over your ginormous head?" you rolled your eyes.

Tom's smirk only grew, "Is that a little bit of drool on your mouth, Patel? Who knew the Kora Patel had a thing for Niko Sai? Oh, the Lord is good."

You rested your hands on the sink and leaned forward, "This is a useless conversation, Sai." you turned to face him, "I feel nothing for you. Don't you get that?"

He stepped closer to you and cupped your face in his palm, "Yes you do, you just don't want to." his face showed pain, all humour drained from his character.

You shook your head with a dry laugh, "You're only trying with me because it's convenient. The company's quiet little Kora Patel, right?"

He took another step towards you, holding your hip in a tight grip, "That's a lie. Nothing about us is convenient."

You chuckled before your hand flew to grasp his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls. Your other hand pressed against his pec. Nails tracing patterns on his skin. Tom's breath hitched along with yours as his body automatically drew closer to you.

You tightened your grip on his hair, "It is convenient because you know I keep to myself. You know that I won't go running my mouth about how long you last or if size really does matter. You know that I'm an easy one to fuck," you pulled him closer, "And toss aside, right, Sai?"

"No." Tom swallowed, "You're wrong, Patel."

You shrugged, "I can give you what you want," you ran your thumb across his bottom lip, "Physically." your eyes met his with heavy lids, "Not emotionally. That's why you need Remedy. Not me." your lips brushed his as you spoke, your voice just loud enough for the mics to pick up.

He leaned in and nearly kissed you before you pushed him away slightly by his chest, foreheads still touching, "Let me kiss you." he whispered, sounding so desperate that you nearly abandoned the script and pulled him into you.

You rolled your lips between your teeth, "And if I don't?" you raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

"I'll leave you alone. If that's what you want, I'll go and have a useless one night stand with a girl who could never measure up to you." he pulled your hips flesh against his, "But if you let me kiss you. I promise to show you how much I mean it when I say that I'll spend all night showering every inch of your body with the love it deserves." he brushed his lips against yours again before bringing his mouth to your ear, "Just say the word, darling, and I'm yours."

Your heavy breaths were the only things that could be heard besides the small sound of shuffling behind the cameras. Your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips before you closed the distance and pushed your lips to his.

Fighting for dominancy, teeth clashing, hands roaming. Unscripted groans falling from Tom's lips as you tugged on his hair, running your fingers along his scalp. His hands gripped the bottom of your thighs before you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist.

"I still hate you." you breathed against his lips as he kissed the corner of your mouth.

You felt him smirk, "You sure have a funny way of showing it."

He carried you to the bedroom, gently laying you down and climbing on top of you, never breaking the kiss. His hands running down your sides, squeezing and rubbing. Your lips moving in sync until he pulled away only to attach his lips to your jawline, leaving slow but hard kisses down your neck, leading to your collarbone.

"Still hate me?" Tom mumbled against your skin.

You let out a breathy moan, "More than ever."

"What do you hate about me, Patel?" he lifted up the bottom of your black slip.

"E-everything." you fake gasped as he rolled his hips into yours.

He laughed dryly, "Everything, huh? The noises you're making say otherwise."

"You're such a dick." you moaned.

He smirked against your breast, "You're about to take my—"

"—Don't finish that fucking sentence, Sai."

Soft moans fell from your lips as you wrapped your legs around his waist again and pulled him closer to you. He groaned against your skin as the cameras picked up every noise, every movement, every kiss. You ran your nails down his back, surely leaving marks in its wake. His grip on your hips was almost punishing, as if he wanted there to be bruises the next day.

"And cut! Great work, guys. Ten minute break and we'll shoot it again."

Tom immediately got off of you and sat to the side of the bed before looking at you with concern, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

You let out a laugh before shaking your head, "No, you didn't hurt me. Dap me up." you held out your hand and he stared confused.

"What you up?" he chuckled.

You smiled before lifting his hand and doing the movements for him, "Just like that." he finally got it down and smiled.

"You Americans are definitely odd." he teased.

You tossed him a wink as an assistant handed you a robe, "See you in ten, Holland."

"And that's the handshake. It's not really a handshake, more of a greeting. I just did it after our first intimate scene because Tom was acting weird and I didn't want things to be awkward." you explained with a shrug as Adrien and Tom laughed.

Tom nodded, "I thought I hurt her! So I asked if I did and all she said was 'dap me up', like, what?" he laughed with you.

"You guys have really great chemistry on and off screen." Adrien complimented making your cheeks heat up.

You nodded, "Thank you. It took a lot of work to break through his industrial ego." you joked with an exhausted sigh as Adrien laughed.

Tom gasped beside you, "I do not have an industrial ego!"

"Mhm, sure." you joked before reaching over and giving Tom's thigh a gentle squeeze, "I meant indestructible."

Tom huffed and crossed his arms, "This is bullying."

Adrien laughed again, "We have to talk about something," he started and you already knew what was coming, "Lots of fans have speculated that the romance on screen carries on off screen." he smirked.

You and Tom laughed nervously. Almost awkwardly.

The situations that you went through with Tom while filming definitely built your relationship with him and strengthened it. In all honesty, you didn't know if the feelings you had for him were reciprocated.

In Tom's head, he was adamant that you had no feelings for him beyond the big screen. Both of you were too timid to confess first. His feelings for you developed a few weeks into filming and since then have only gotten stronger as your friendship grew and you spent more time together.

The amount of times that this topic had been brought up today was tiring. Every answer was the same: "No, no. We're just really good friends."

You decided to joke around, "Honestly, I've asked Tom out at least twenty times and he keeps rejecting me." you pouted and sniffled.

Adrien let out a joyous laugh as Tom gasped and choked on air at your words.

"That is not true! She has never asked me out!" he defended himself.

You shook your head with a deep frown, "He's broken my heart too many times. This is probably my last time acting with him." you continued on with the joke.

Tom shook his head furiously, "That is one hundred percent false. If she had asked me out, we would already be dating." he let the words fall from his lips without a second thought.

You fought the instinct to snap your head towards him. His confession catching you off guard. You played it off with another pout and shrug. Unsure if he was joining in on the prank or not.

Adrien raised a suggestive eyebrow, "What I'm hearing is that Y/N just needs to ask you out and we have our new couple."

You fake gasped, "Why do I have to ask him out? He should be asking me out with a million roses and a horse drawn carriage." you flipped your hair over your shoulder.

"You don't even like roses." Tom laughed, "You like dandelions because they turn into those fluffy things that you can make a wish with." he remembered the information off of the top of his head, "And because it sounds like you're saying 'dandy lions' when you say their name."

You nodded with a smile, "A million dandelions then. And maybe I'll think about it." you joked with a yawn making the two men laugh.

"You heard it here first. We have a new couple on the rise. Tom just needs to find a million dandelions and a horse drawn carriage." Adrien laughed again.

Tom scoffed dramatically, "Find? I already have them in my garage, ready to go."

Adrien cheered as you felt a heat creep up your neck, "Did I say dandelions? I meant daisies."

"Got those, too." Tom smirked making you roll your eyes.

"Okay, we need to end this interview before Tom buys all the flowers in Berlin." you joked.

After the interview ended, you said your goodbyes to Adrien and the crew before you and Tom made your way back to your temporary hotel suite for the week of press junkets.

Tom walked you to your room, stopping at the door, "That was an odd interview." he chuckled.

You nodded, "Indeed. It was fun, though." you smiled and he returned the expression.

There was an awkward beat of silence before he spoke again, "T-that whole asking me out thing. You were kidding, right? Like, just a show for the cameras?" he laughed nervously.

You swallowed air before replying with a timid smile, "Y-yeah. Totally. Just for the fans." you nodded again, "Um, I should head to bed. More interviews tomorrow. See you in the morning." you gave him a little wave before turning to your door and pulling out your key.

He nodded with the smallest of pouts before turning on his heel and starting the walk back to his suite.

Just as your hand was turning the knob, Tom's voice called out to you again.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he spoke in one breath.

You bit your lip to conceal your smile, but it was no use. His question sparked a flame in your stomach that wasn't dying out anytime soon.

You turned with a bright grin, "I'd love to."

His features went from pure fright to relief in a matter of seconds, "G-great. I'll- uh, I'll text you the details. Goodnight." he gave you a little salute making you laugh.

"Sounds good. Night, Holland." you nodded your head before entering your hotel room.

You leaned against the door as soon as it shut. A euphoric glow radiating off of you. You were going on a date with Tom Holland.

Tom happily punched the air. Skipping down the hallway, a new found joy in his step. Chris Hemsworth walked out of his room and examined the gleeful boy.

"What's got you all smiley?" he chuckled.

Tom stopped and smiled, staring at the ceiling, "I just got myself a date."

Chris raised an impressed eyebrow before laughing, "You really are Peter Parker. Night, kid."

"Goodnight, Chris." Tom's smile never faded as he made his way back to his suite.

Not even ten minutes had gone by since he last spoke to you and he already missed you. He pulled out his phone and pressed on your contact.

Tom: sorry i didn't have any dandelions. hope you can make an exception x

Y/N: i suppose but the horse drawn carriage is a must x

[captainaikus]

Hello again!! Saw your response to my last ask and uhhh guess I’m getting kinda predictable huh 😅? I’m sorry if it bothers or annoys you, I just like consistent communication with the people I like so like I always try to do that cause reassurance is important to me so I want the other person to feel reassured too you know? But if it’s too much let me know and I’ll dial it down promise!! Your works hitting over 200 notes is an amazing accomplishment you should be so proud of yourself and if you’re not pls know that I am. Running a blog isn’t easy, much less maintaining and putting out such amazing works. I’m glad you’re feeling better!! And yeah writing blocks are so annoying but I feel that once you hit that stride, you start running and can’t stop. If that makes sense? It’s what I’ve gone through with my experience anyways. Tbh I’ve been better. Life isn’t the best rn and I’m super busy and drained atm. I’m pretty sure it’s burnout but I’ll manage somehow. Also my favorite character is Bachira but like almost every other character ties for second so like 💀. I swear I’m like this with every show/series. I end up with my favorite character and then there’s everyone else it’s always so hard to choose like I love all my babies adhkkghkhhh. Anyways it’s always so fun to talk to you I can’t wait to read the next part of my tears your company but obv take your time. As always I hope your day goes well whenever you read this and that you’re doing good and *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !!

Omg no bb ૮₍ ˃̵͈᷄ . ˂̵͈᷅ ₎ა I meant it in a good way! Like when I release any blue lock fic I look forward to the reaction you have cause the blog goes both ways with the author/writer writing and uploading fics and the reader interacting with it along with the fact that they make my day. And i like consistent communication as well!! (꜆˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)꜆ So yeah, you're always welcomed in my blog and I enjoy responding to your asks! Even if there is more than one or two or even many! (like that one time where you saw me upload the third edition and came back with the review? My roommate heard me cackle like a Hyena.)

I like seeing people ask or talk about fics or even life outside of it cause at the end of the day its another living and breathing person on the other side of the screen and conversations are important to them as much as it is to you, rest assured, I like having you in my blog and it makes me smile each time I see an ask from you or anyone okay?

You're well liked (trust me when i see the ✨ anon I get serotonin) and I don't find you annoying; you have nothing to apologize for, okay?

૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ა

And don't dial down the energy! It's what keeps me hyped and this blog going    (´,,>ω<,,`)♡  ;

its reassuring to me when i have something in my inbox cause silence when you have so many followers isn't fun yk? It kinda makes the blog blank... Interact with an author and their works, get to know them, it makes their day too ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა and vice versa

I'm glad you think my works are amazing cause ngl when I'm reading through it I'm just sitting there like 'How did people let this mistake slip' ૮꒰- ˕ -꒱ა *groans*

Speaking of my writing block, I took a break and went on yt for a bit and found sumasumthing that gave me an idea to write for both NNN and for further part of the series (¬‿¬) no spoilers. Just wait ꒰ ⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖

But yeah it does work that way, once you overcome that block, you just keep running until you hit another, but you'll overcome that as well. <(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

Oh no, I'm sorry that you feel burntout :'< ; cause this was literally me a week ago. Everytime I have a burnout its cause of everything that is going on and its too much to handle sometimes so I kept telling myself three things :

'We'll cross the bridge when we get there.'

'Living in the moment happening right now is more important, what comes tomorrow comes.'

'Nothing is permanent.'

Take care of yourself; don't push too hard, push as much as you can. (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡

ooooh Bachira!! He's sweet, I'm actually adding him and a few more characters to the fourth edition of the series. But yes !! It is so hard to choose one person Aiku stan mon ange

I mean you got 11 players + more and you even have the coaches *confused screaming insert* cause they are literally the whole bakery

My day is going fine chipped my nail polish with pistachios, been reading from my book shopping that I went for yesterday, planning to start fourth season of Haikyuu but I wanna watch this movie that I've been keeping on hold (Drive my car- cause its straight up my alley.. kinda like driving miss daisy? Yes I am THAT old in taste )

*sending back hugs* ꒰ ੭´ ˘ `૮꒱ Hope you get better soon!! Bachira sends kisses!

[thewidowsghost]

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 5

(Y/n)'s POV

I have weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.

I must've woken up several times, but what I hear and see makes no sense, so I just pass out again. I remember lying in a soft bed and spoon-fed something that tasted like (Favorite/Food), only it's like pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovers over me, smirking as she scrapes drips off my chin with the spoon.

When she sees my eyes open, she asks, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"

"What?" I manage to croak.

She looks around, as is afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"

"I'm sorry," I slur, "I don't . . ."

Somebody knocks on the door, and the girl quickly fills my mouth with the pudding.

. . .

The next time I wake up, the girl is gone.

A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stands in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He has blue eyes - at least a dozen of them - on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.

When I come around for good, there is nothing weird about my surroundings, except they are nicer than I am used to. I am sitting in a deck chair next to Percy - who was looking at me with concern - on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smells like strawberries. There is a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that is great, but my mouth feels like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue is dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.

On the table next to me is a tall drink. It looks like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol sticks through a maraschino cherry.

My hand is so weak I almost drop the glass once I get my fingers around it.

"Careful," says a voice.

Grover is leaning against the porch railing, looking as though he hadn't slept in a week. Under one arm, he cradles a shoebox. He is wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops, and a bright orange t-shirt that says CAMP HALF-BLOOD.

"You two saved my life," Grover says. "I...well, the least I could do...I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."

Reverently, he places the shoebox in Percy's lap.

Inside is a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood.

It hadn't been a nightmare. My mother was gone.

"The Minotaur," Percy asks.

"Um, Percy, it isn't a good idea -" Grover gets cut off.

"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" Percy demands. "The Minotaur. Half man, half bull."

Grover shifts uncomfortably. "You two have been out for two days. How much do you remember?"

"Mom," I say softly. "Is she really . . ."

Grover looks down.

I stare across the meadow. There is a grove of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley is surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, is the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looks beautiful in the sunlight.

My mother is gone . . .

Nothing should look beautiful. The whole world should be black and cold.

"I'm sorry," Grover sniffs. "I'm a failure. I'm - I'm the worst satyr in the world." He groans, stomping his food so hard it comes off. I mean, the Converse hi-top comes off. The inside is filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole. "Oh, Styx!" he mumbles.

Thunder rolls across the clear sky.

Mom had really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.

Percy and I are alone. Orphans. We would have to live with . . . Smelly Gabe? No. I'd live on the streets first.

Grover is still sniffling.

Percy says, "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you."

"Did our mother ask you to protect me?"

"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least . . . I was."

"But why . . ." Percy begins and I suddenly feel dizzy, my vision swimming.

"Don't strain yourself," Grover says. "Here."

He helps me hold my glass and puts the straw to my lips.

I recoil at the taste because I was expecting apple juice. It isn't that at all. It's chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. But not just any cookies - Mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body feels warm and good, full of energy. My grief doesn't go away, but I feel as if Mom had just brushed her hand lovingly against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was upset and told me everything was going to be okay.

Before I know it, I'd drained the glass. I stare into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.

"Was it good?" Grover asks.

I nod.

"What did it taste like?"

"Chocolate-chip cookies," I reply and Percy looks at me knowingly. "Mom's. Homemade."

He takes the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it's dynamite, and sets it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting.

3rd Person POV

The porch wraps all the way around the farmhouse.

Percy's legs feel wobbly, trying to walk that far, and (Y/n), though her legs feel like Jello, had moved to support her brother. Grover offers to carry the Minotaur horn, but Percy holds onto it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I'm not going to let it go.

As the trio comes around the opposite end of the house, (Y/n) catches her breath.

Percy's POV

We must be on the north shore of Long Island because on this side of the house, the valley marches all the way up to the water, which glitters about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply can't process everything I'm seeing. The landscape is dotted with buildings that look like ancient Greek architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena—except that they all look brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school–age kids and satyrs play volleyball. Canoes glide across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's are chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shoot targets at an archery range. Others ride horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I'm hallucinating, some of their horses have wings.

Down at the end of the porch, two men sit across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoonfed (Y/n) is leaning on the porch rail next to them.

The man facing me is small, but porky. He has a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it's almost poker. He looks like those painting of baby angles - cherubs. He looks like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park. He is wearing a tiger-patterned Hawaiian shirt, and he would fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I get the feeling that this guy could out-gamble even my step-father.

"That's Mr. D," Grover mutters to me and (Y/n). "He's the camp director. Be polite. That girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron . . . "

He points at the guy whose back is to me.

First, I realize he's sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognize the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, and the scraggly beard.

"Mr. Brunner!" I cry.

The Latin teacher turns and smiles at me, then looks curiously at (Y/n), who is still supporting some of my weight. His eyes have that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulls a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.

"Ah, good, Percy," he says. "Now we have four for pinochle."

He offers me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looks at me, then (Y/n), who is leaning against my chair, with bloodshot eyes, and heaves a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to the glad to see you."

"Percy, why don't you introduce me?" Mr. Burnner says, sending a soft smile towards (Y/n).

"Oh, this is my twin sister, (Y/n)," Percy says.

(Y/n)'s POV

I smile and wave shyly.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," I say. "Percy's told me a lot about you. Even said you were his favorite teacher."

A warmer smile spreads across Mr. Brunner's face and then he turns. "Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner calls to the blond girl.

She comes forward and Mr. Brunner introduces us. "This young lady nursed you back to health, (Y/n). Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy and (Y/n)'s bunks? We'll be putting them in Cabin Eleven for now."

"Sure, Chiron," Annabeth replies.

She's probably about my age, maybe an inch or two taller, and a whole more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she is almost exactly when I think a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruin the image. They are startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she's analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.

She glances down at the Minotaur horn in Percy's hands then looks back up at me. She says, "You drool when you sleep." My cheeks take on a slight red tinge as she sprints off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.

"So," Percy says, looking anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"

"Not Mr. Brunner," not Mr. Brunner says. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."

"Okay," Percy says, looking totally confused, then looking at the director. "And Mr. D . . . does that stand for something?"

Mr. D stops shuffling the cars. He looks at Percy like he'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason.

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"I must say, Percy," Chiron - Brunner breaks in, "I'm glad to see you alive, and the chance to meet your sister. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."

"House call?" I ask, interested.

"My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct Percy. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met him. He sensed he was something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to...ah, take a leave of absence."

"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" Percy asks.

Chiron nods. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood, and then we learned of Miss (Y/n), here." He nods to me. "But you still had so much to learn, Percy. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."

"Grover," Mr. D says impatiently, "are you playing or not?"

Percy's POV

"Yes, sir!" Grover trembles as he takes the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.

"You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyes me suspiciously.

"I'm afraid not," I answer.

"I'm afraid not, sir," he corrects.

"Sir," I repeat, liking the camp director less and less.

"Well," he tells me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules"

"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron says.

"Please," I plead, "what is this place? What are we doing here? Mr. Brun— Chiron—why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"

Mr. D snorts. "I asked the same question."

The camp director deals the cards; Grover flinches every time one lands in his pile.

Chiron smiles at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.

"Percy," Chiron prompts. "Did your mother tell you nothing?"

"She said . . ." (Y/n) begins and I remember her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told us she was afraid to send us here, even though our father had wanted her to. She said that once we were here, we probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep us close to her."

"Typical," Mr. D says. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"

"What?" I ask.

He explains, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.

"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron says. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient.

"Orientation film?" (Y/n) asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"No," Chiron decides. "Well, Percy, (Y/n). You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know -" he points to the horn in the shoebox - "that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either. What you may not know is that the great powers are at work. Gods - the forces you call the Greek gods - are very much alive."

I stare at the others around the table.

I wait for somebody to yell, Not! but all I get is Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackles as he tallies up his points.

"Mr. D," Grover asks timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"

"Eh? Oh, all right."

Grover bites a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chews it.

"Wait," I tell Chiron as (Y/n) sits down on the edge of my chair. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."

"Well, now," Chiron says. "God—capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."

"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about—"

"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."

"Smaller?"

"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class.

"Zeus," I say. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."

And there it was again—distant thunder on a cloudless day.

"Young man," says Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around if I were you."

"But they're stories," I say. "They're—myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."

"Science!" Mr. D scoff. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"—I flinch when he says my real name, which I never told anybody—"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continues. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals—they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."

"Percy," Chiron says, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"

"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," (Y/n) says.

"Exactly," Chiron agrees. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you Perseus and (Y/n) Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how children can get over losing their mothers."

My heart pounds. He's trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I say, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."

"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmurs. "Before one of them incinerates you."

Grover pleads, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."

"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbles, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe!" He waves his hand and a goblet appears on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet fills itself with red wine.

"You're Dionysus," (Y/n) says and Mr. D looks at her. "The god of wine."

Mr. D nods then stares at me as I say, "You're a god."

"Yes, child."

"A god. You."

He turns to look at me straight on, and I see a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man is only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I see visions of grapevines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turn to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I know that if I push him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a straitjacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.

"Would you like to test me, child?" he says quietly.

"No. No, sir."

The fire dies a little; he turns back to his card game. "I believe I win."

"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron says. He sets down a straight, tallies the points, and says, "The game goes to me."

I think Mr. D is going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighs through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He gets up, and Grover rises, too.

"I'm tired," Mr. D says. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."

Grover's face beads with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."

Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners." He sweeps into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.

"Will Grover be okay?" I ask Chiron.

Chiron nods, though he looks a little troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been . . . ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."

"Mount Olympus," I say. "You're telling me there is really a palace there?"

"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."

"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like...in America?"

"The what?"

"Western civilization?" (Y/n) guesses and Chiron nods for her to continue. "It started in Greece, then spread to Rome, right?"

"That's correct, Miss (Y/n)," Chiron says.

"And then they died?" I ask, looking between my Latin teacher and my sister.

"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course, they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not—and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either —America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."

"Who are you, Chiron? Who . . . who am I? Who . . . who are we?"

Chiron smiles. He shifts his weight as if he was going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I know that was impossible. He's paralyzed from the waist down.

"Who are you?" he muses. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."

And then he does rise from his wheelchair. But there's something odd about the way he did it. His blanket falls away from his legs, but the legs don't move. His waist keeps getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I think he's was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he keeps rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realize that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair isn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg comes out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.

I stare at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.

"You're a centaur!" (Y/n) says in awe, and Chiron's eyes sparkle with amusement as he nods.

"What a relief," the centaur says. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy and (Y/n) Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."

Word Count: 3702 words

[itscuppicakes]

This is something I put together bc haha toxic parents go brrrr

Donnie X Reader: Gaslighting parents

TW: emotionally abusive parents, vent, cursing

You sat on your bed, writing whatever thinks came into your mind. Your trash can halfway full of crumbled up papers with run on sentences and imperfect writings.

"You're just looking for things to be mad about!"

Those words flooded your mind, like waves from the oceans trying to fit into a single water bottle.

You always felt like you were overreacting over something that hurt you, but this was different.

You don't know if it was because you've been visiting your sister a lot more, or maybe it's the trama that took away that innocent thought that your mother is always right, making you realize that your feels are vaild.

You were talking to your mom about a character from a story that you liked, and pulling a joke about how you where falling for characters that are not anywhere near your type.

"You DO know that they're fictional, right?" Those words fell out of her mouth and into your ears, and it felt horrible.

Your mother always asked this question when you talked about the characters you admired, and this was the last straw.

"Yes, mom. I promise you, I'm not crazy," I chuckled awkwardly, trying to play it off. That didn't go so well.

"I never said that! Don't put words in my mouth, little girl."

You hated when she called you that, acting like she's always in the right. She's the good guy.

'God f*cking damnit,' You thought.

"Well Mom, that kinda hurt my feelings."

The woman scoffed, "Okay." She uttered, continuing to play her game on her cellphone.

You look over at your stepfather mom's husband, and he chuckled. 'Enjoying the show, A-hole?'

You stood up and headed to your bedroom to blow of some steam in peace. You weren't in the mood today.

"I love you." Those guilt tripping words stung like a bee, but the bee would be paradise compared to this.

"You too." You forced the words out of your mouth and they fell face flat onto the carpet.

"Are you mad at me now?" She asked in a snarky manner. You turned around, and looked at her.

"WELL, Mom. Yes I am, I'm not gonna lie."

"Ugh, you're just looking for things to be mad about!"

"Okay, mom. Whatever." You walked to your bedroom upstair and closed the door.

You grabbed your phone and texted your purple-wearing-turtle boyfriend. Your fingers scattered across the keyboard, trying to put together words that don't come across as rude.

He responded quickly, as usual.

"Ofc. Want me to pick you up?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay,, I'll be there in exactly 8 minutes and 23 seconds."

"Thanks, Dee. Love you, see you in a few💜"

"You too, Babe."

You tried to act as subtle as possible, trying not to make him worry, but Donnie knew something was up.

8 minutes and 23 seconds after you texted him, you heard a knock on your window. You opened it and saw your boyfriend standing on the fire escape with a hoodie on and his hands in his kangaroo pocket.

Snow was everywhere from the snow storm New York had the night before. The cool air was creeping into your bedroom, sending chills down your spine.

"You called?" You sighed. "Hi, Babe," you mumbled as you get your laptop from it's charging port and stuffed it in your dufflebag, which was full of clothes for the night and tomorrow.

"You wanna talk about it or want to wait until we get to the lair?"

You paused for a second and continued packing. "Just get me the f*ck away from this hellhole."

"Okay." Donnie knew when to push and when to not push, and you cussing and face red gave him the idea of what not to do.

He kisses your head to comfort you, grabbed your hand and helped you out of the window so you won't fall.

A few minutes have passed and he had his arm around your shoulders as you two walked the back strets of the city. You played with his digits, lost in thought.

"Did you eat before I got you?" "..Didn't want to down there." "Okay, we'll order something from somewhere and take it home. It's my turn to get dinner anyways."

"I want to never go back there.."

"I know, Babe."

Donnie knew about your situation at home. All of the Mad Dogs did. They really hated your parents for it.

You are the sweetest person and you never want to hurt others that didn't hurt you. But oh god, you counted the days until you could move in with April in the apartment you two are saving up for.

Your boyfriend has been taking you away from your apartment more and more, and it hurts him to see you like this.

"She tried to gaslight me again."

"Why does that not surprise me? What did she say?"

You sighed, recalling the argument. After you tell him, he rubs your small hand that's in his.

"So you were just making friendly conversation and when she said something that offended you, she got mad at you for telling her your feelings?"

"Yep." "She's the crazy person." "What else is new?"

"I'm so f*cking tired of all this bullsh*t, Donnie. I'm so stressed because I have exams tomorrow, and the past two weeks have drained me. I'm tired, I have bags under my eyes and I'm not eating properly. Hell, I'll be lucky if I get a glass of water in me."

He hated seeing you like this. He wanted to help you, but he can't just tell your parents off. He's a turtle and they don't even know that you a boyfriend.

"Have you called your sister?" "She said I can come over next week." "Good."

Once you two ordered the food for everyone, you started to walk in the sewers.

"Hey, Y/n?" "Hm," you hummed as you eat the mcflurry Donnie and you are sharing. "Do you know one of the things I love about you," He asked as he ate a fry covered in ice cream at the end. "Don't get sappy with me, Purple." "Shut up, I'm giving you a compliment." He said in his monotone voice, ignoring your annoyance. "It's that you keep fighting through this. You go through the bullsh*t they put you through eveyday and yet you're still here. You're a fighter."

You blushed and looked at you turtle boyfriend. "I do that because you and the guys are there for me. And plus the day I move out, I plan on giving my mom and her husband an earful." Donnie chuckled.

He lifted your chin and kissed you. He never really kissed you in public place, let alone the entrance of the lair.

He didn't care if his brothers saw. You needed it.

"I love you, Babe." "Love you too, Dee."

[rainecloud020604]

your ass better appreciate this

for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.