#we'd said it was goodbye 'verse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mwuaferrari · 2 years ago

Text

COME BACK...BE HERE CHARLES LECLERC

summary: charles and grace have been a couple for almost 8 years, but f1 and time as a couple are not compatible, making her be devastated every night for not having him by her side.

pairing: charles leclerc x grace (reader)

words: 3.4K

warning: angst but with a happy ending. some bad words maybe. reference to sex, but nothing happens. and as I told you before, english is not my native language, so any spelling or writing error is the fault of the translator.

notes: i added verses from elton john's “don't go breaking my heart”, but the story is still based on taylor swift's “come back be here”.

tags: @midnightric @dan3avacado (if you want to be tagged in the next stories, let me know in the comments! <3)

Remember that you can find the list of songs and the previous imagines here :)

Enjoy, C

Charles and I have known each other forever. Our moms have been best friends since they were little girls, so our families are very close. And that's how we basically grew up together, we saw the world together, and at some point in our adolescence we started to develop feelings for each other.

When he was 17 and I was 16, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and that's when we began a relationship that lasted for years. It was a beautiful love, everyone thought we were soul mates, our mothers said "we always knew you would end up together". But something broke between us.

Charles began his career at a very young age when he was 7 years old when he competed in karting races and from then on he has not stopped until today in Formula 1. Obviously I am very happy and proud to see how far he has come, but he has measured that he has been rising in his career, he has been having less and less time for his personal life itself, for his family, his friends, for me...

Light streaming through the curtains hits me directly in the face. I slowly open my eyes, reach my arm across the bed only to find the pile of crumpled blankets and a Ferrari hoodie as the only trace of Charles. I sit up a little in bed as I rub my eyes and see a small note.

Love, I know I promised you that we could spend the day together. But my communications manager sent me a message saying that I would have to get to London earlier for a couple of interviews that weren't scheduled :( I'm so sorry. I didn't want to wake you up to say goodbye properly because it was so late and I know you were tired. Text me when you're awake and have read this.

Love you, Charles.

I sit on the bed, reach for Charles's hoodie and take him in my arms. I inhale to catch the scent of his perfume. Seconds later I feel tears running down my cheeks and wetting the garment that I hold even tighter.

We barely made the most of our time together. I had planned some things for both of us to enjoy today. I felt like my heart was breaking into pieces every time this happened, I hated needing him the way I needed him, I hated missing him the way I missed him.

I didn't call or text him that day as he had asked in the little note he left on my bed that morning. Throughout that day, I did alone all the plans I had for us together, until the night came.

Wearing Charles's hoodie, I curled up on my bed as I checked my cell phone. As expected, I had some messages and calls from Charles, also some from Pierre (which I assumed was Charles too, but from his friend's phone).

When I had some time and I could travel with him to accompany him to his races, we were invited to the after-race parties. He knew I hated parties, he knew I hated crowds, but I still convinced him that I would be fine and that I could handle it. But as soon as we were there, it would only be a few minutes and he would take me out of the place. We'd get in his car and he'd drive anywhere, he always had a special place. With the window open, the wind ruffling my hair.

Devastated, I remembered our times together. With Charles everything was different, everything was special, he made me feel special and loved.

Just as I had done all day, I kept crying and crying, remembering our times together. This wasn't fair, why did everything have to be so difficult. I loved him, of course I loved him, but his distance hurt me.

Days passed and I was still depressed at home. My routine was to get up, shower and go back to bed. But I couldn't go on like this, I had to get on with my life, so I drew strength from where I didn't know I had it and tried to get out of my state of depression.

Before Charles arrived in my city that day, my boss had summoned me to his office to tell me that he was downsizing, making the decision to fire me. So now I am jobless.

I graduated in communication and public relations at the International University of Monaco, and since then I have been working in the same company. Maybe fate wants me to change places, after all it was not the best environment and I did not feel comfortable in that place.

That day I got up early, took a shower and had a good breakfast. With a couple of copies of my resume in hand and a bag slung over my shoulder, I wait for my friend at my front door. I could go alone to look for a job, but she refused me to go alone, saying that then we could also spend time together.

We went all over the city leaving my resume in all the places where we thought they might need my services. We were very tired, so after being there since 7:30 in the morning and now it was almost 5 in the afternoon, she would take me home in her car while we had a coffee that we went to buy at a Starbucks on the road.

We were talking about random stuff with the music on the radio in the background when suddenly I heard the first chords of that song. Our song.

Don´t Go Breaking My Heart. Charles and I used to always sing it and it was our favorite to play at karaoke. He sang the Elton John part and I sang the Kiki Dee part.

“Nobody told us 'cause nobody showed us. Now it's up to us babe. Whoa I think we can make it.”

No one told us this was going to be this hard, no one told me I'd miss him the way I miss him. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, he would arrive, either with a message or better yet, seeing him in person, and it made my hope in our relationship reappear. We could do this, I could do this.

“So don't misunderstand me, you put the light in my life. Oh, you put the spark to the flame.”

—Grace, are you ok?— La voz de mi amiga me sacó rápidamente de mis pensamientos.

—Yes, everything is completely fine.

—Are you sure? I see you a little… gone. Don't worry, you'll find a job soon.— Sure, she didn't know about Charles. I hadn't talked about it with anyone. — And if you need help with money, please don't hesitate to…

—I know, and I really appreciate it, Luna.

…

When I finally got home, I took a short shower and put on comfortable clothes. I sat on the couch to watch some TV, when I suddenly remember seeing a text from my mom, so I grabbed my phone to answer her.

mom<3: hi honey, why don’t you answer my calls? are you busy?

me: hey mom, yes, i was a bit busy sorry

mom<3: are you ok?

me: i'm completely fine, why the question?

mom<3: charles called me to ask how you were. Did something happen with him? You know you can trust me, right?

Now I understand.

me: everything is fine, don't worry

Obviously she wasn't going to believe me. So that same day at night while I was heating water to make me a tea, I heard the doorbell ring. I walk to the door at a fast pace, and when I open it I find my mother and Charles's mother on the other side, with some bags that gave off an exquisite smell.

—Mom, Pascale... what are you doing here?

—Can we come in?— My mom asked with a smile.

—Please come in.— When they walk in, they both give me some hugs that last longer than usual.

Yes, this definitely had something to do with the conversation with my mother earlier.

—What do they bring there? It smells delicious.— I tell them as I close the door behind us and we walk into the living room.

—We brought some pasta from the restaurant that you like so we can have dinner together, it's been a long time since we spent time together, don't you think, honey?— Pascale said with a smile.

—It's true, yes.

—Are you hungry baby?

—Starving.

So the three of us headed to the dining room. I took the forks and napkins to put them on the table.

—What do you want for a drink, ladies? I have some wine…— I tell them as I raise the bottle of wine in the air.

—Please, what would this pasta be without a glass of wine? Bring that please.

I put on some music and we started eating. I sighed when I took the first bite. It's been a while since I ate this pasta, with Charles we always used to go when we had time...

—So honey…— Charles's mother said after taking a sip of her wine. I was sitting at the head of the table and the two of them at my sides.

—I love you two with all my heart and I love that you're here with me, but I need to know the specific reason you're here.— Of course I knew the reason, but I needed them to tell me.

—Charles told me you haven't been answering his calls or texts since he left.— And he told us that he left without saying goodbye, that maybe the reason because you're mad.— Pascale says.

—Yes.— I said simply.

—It's more than that, isn't it?...—It was my mom, she knew me like the back of her hand. It wasn't worth lying to her anyway, one way or another she would find out.

—What happens is…— I look at the ceiling and take a slow breath.— Yes, it's more than that. I'm not mad at him because he left without saying goodbye, I'm not even mad at him. It's something that's been around for a while, it's just… I miss him a lot.— With the last sentence, I feel my voice break. My mother puts her hand on mine.— I'm so proud of him, where he is now. But I feel alone, we hardly see each other because his schedule doesn't allow it. And I don't know how to tell him, because it's not like he can do anything about it. It's his job and I'm not going to stop him from following his dream or anything. But sometimes I think that we should…— I fall silent. I refuse to think that it's best that we end our relationship and go our separate ways. I can't even say it out loud

—We understand you dear, we only want the best for you two, always. And if you ever want to take different paths because you think it's the best decision, we'll support you.— Now Pascale places her hand on my free hand.

—I don’t want to do that. I love him so much.— I finally break as tears fall down my cheeks. They both quickly pull their chairs closer to me and cover me with their arms. And I cry. First time I've talked about this with someone, I always kept it to myself because I thought it was silly and that I would soon get over it, I thought everything would get better.

Calming my tears little by little and drinking the glass of water that Pascale brought me, we slowly return to our conversation.

—And what did you do today?

—Oh, I've been in the street since morning. Luna accompanied me to leave my resume to many places and…

—Did you get fired from your job?— My mother asked.

—Yes, but don't worry. I know someone will hire me soon, and I have money saved anyway, so I'll be fine.

—Yes, you'll be fine.

After that exquisite dinner and an emotional release with feelings that I had kept for a long time, both women left my house, leaving me alone again. I finally decide to send a message to Charles.

me to charlie <3: did you send our moms to check on me?

charlie<3 to me: you got me

me to charlie <3: I appreciate it

me to charlie <3: I'm sorry I haven't answered you all these days. I'm not mad at you sweetheart, I just haven't been well and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

I did not want to talk to him.

charlie<3 to me: what happened peach? do you want me to call you? I have a time now

me to charlie <3: don't worry, it's something I'd like to talk about in person anyway

charlie<3 to me: do you want to break up with me? Hahaha

I swallowed at the thought.

me to charlie <3: no

charlie<3 to me: we'll be together sooner than you think, you'll see.

…

It was august, which meant that Formula 1 was beginning its summer break until the next race in Belgium, which was later that same month.

So now Pascale, Arthur, the Leclercs' younger brother, and I were at the airport waiting for Charles to arrive. I couldn't stay still in my place, stamping my foot on the ground, biting my lower lip and my nails.

—I thought you had already kicked that bad habit, girl.— Pascale tells me as she moves my hands away from my mouth.— Don't worry, he told me he's almost here.— That clearly didn't help my nerves rise. Next to me I felt Arthur giving me a gentle push.

—Speaking of the king of Rome.—And here he came. He was walking towards us with a big smile on his face. A cart with a couple of suitcases on it.

—Son, my love. I missed you so much.— Pascale quickly wrapped her son in her arms as she placed kisses all over his face.

—I missed you too mom, you have no idea how much.

Then Arthur followed. They both hugged each other along with strong friendly pats on the other's back.

And finally he got to me. He stood in front of me and looked me in the eye. He brought his hand up to my cheek and I immediately sank into his touch, like a puppy being petted by its owner.

—Hey.— It was all it took to pull me into his arms. He breathed a sigh of relief into my hair. Being taller than me, I was standing on the tip of my feet, with my arms around his neck and my face barely reaching to rest on his shoulder. We parted slightly from the hug and he took my face in his hands to leave a sweet kiss on my lips. I was not a big fan of showing affection in public, and even less so in front of his family. So the kiss lasted only a few short seconds before we parted ways.

—Yuck.— We hear Arthur say next to us, who had already taken the cart that Charles had before.

—Arthur.— His mother scolded him.— Are you ready to go home?

Charles nods as he takes my hand and strokes it gently.

…

That same night, we all went to dinner at a fancy restaurant that Charles himself had booked. With us were some of his cousins, some aunts and uncles, and my parents.

Sitting next to me, Charles squeezed my thigh under the table while he had a conversation with one of his uncles and I laughed at a joke Arthur had made.

Suddenly I feel the lack of warmth on my thigh as Charles pulls his hand away from me, only seconds later to hear him speak.

—I would like to make a toast.— he exclaims and immediately has the attention of everyone at the table.— I want everyone to raise their glasses, I want to thank, first of all, the two women that I have at my sides.To my mom, who always knows what to say every time I feel bad, without her I would have given up a long time ago. And also to my girlfriend, who has accompanied me since I was a child and has not left my side since. But I still thank each one of you for being here in the first place, and for always being with me when I have needed it. The place where I am now is thanks to all of you, I really thank you from the bottom of my heart.

After that toast, Charles asks me to join him for a breather and I immediately follow. He takes my hand as he leads us both out.

He sits on a bench outside and pulls my arm so I can sit on his lap. With my hands resting on his chest, one of his hands on my waist and the other brushing my hair.

—We haven't been able to get time to ourselves since I got here, how are you sweetheart?— Despite the darkness, I can see the sparkle in his eyes and the moonlight reflected in them.

—Better now that you're here.

—Don't you have anything to say to me?

—No.— Now I put both of my hands on his face to pull him closer to me and kiss him. It is a slow, passionate kiss, but not too much. I hear him sigh over my mouth and I feel butterflies in my stomach. I run one of my hands from his jaw to the back of his neck to lovingly play with his hair. His hands on my hips leaving caresses with his fingers.— I missed you so much.

—I know you got fired from your job.— he said as soon as we parted a few inches. I frowned at him.— Mom told me.

—Oh.— I say simply.

—Why you didn’t tell me?

—I didn't want to distract you from your work, and I can handle it on my own anyway, honestly.

—I know that you can handle it. But it's something important, you could have told me. You will never, hey, listen to me.—He takes my face with both of his hands so that I look directly into his eyes.—You will never be a bother to me.

—Charles, about that…

—Tell me sweetheart.

—You know, I was just thinking about us, and…

—Hey, lovebirds.— Arthur's voice brings our conversation to an end.— I don't like being the third wheel, but my mom and my uncle inside are singing karaoke and I was a little embarrassed.

—Did you say karaoke?— I asked as I got up from Charles's legs, completely forgetting the previous topic of conversation, as if I hadn't been about to tell him that I intended to end our relationship.— Come on, come on, pleeeeease.

Charles just laughs and follows me as I excitedly walk into the store.

—Thanks for leaving me alone!— Arthur says.

—You should get yourself a girlfriend, brother.— Charles manages to say before we enter.

…

Two days later, Charles and I were on our way to the airport. The Monegasque had prepared a trip for the two of us where we would tour Latin America with some of his friends, starting with Cancún Mexico, Peru, Colombia and ending in Brazil.

My parents were taking us to the airport, so we had already said goodbye to Charles's family.

—I want you to take good care of yourselves, please. Call me when you can to tell me how you are and if everything's alright.— My mother says as she watches us in the rearview mirror.

—And please use a condom. I don't really like the idea of being called grandfather, I'm still too young for that.— My dad finishes.

—Dad…— I say, embarrassed to talk about sexual matters with them.

—I'm serious.

When we got to the airport, the goodbye (my mom's specifically) was a bit dramatic. When she finally set us free, the paperwork for us to get on the plane didn't take long.

The next thing I knew, we were already landing in Cancun. I yawn and look to my right to see Charles sleeping passively.

—Charles, baby.— I shake him gently until he wakes up.— We're about to land.

Already in the place, a friend of Charles received us and took us to our cabin where we would stay for 4 days before continuing our trip.

He and his friends rented a large space with a couple of cabins with access to a lagoon and that was also close to the beach. Our cabin was a bit away from his friends' cabin “so that we have more time alone” (Charles's words).

Now we were all on a yacht in the middle of the beach. The place was beautiful. Charles and I were resting in the sun after getting in the water and being there for a long time. Our bodies side by side a few inches apart, our hands joined as he caressed mine with his thumb.

—Everything okay baby?

—Everything is excellent, I love this place.

—You know, I wanted to tell you something. I really didn't want to tell you until I'm completely sure it can come true, but anyway I want to tell you as soon as possible so you can take your time to think about it… You know my communications assistant, right?

—Of course, Emma, she is lovely.

I watch as Charles sits up and looks at me. I copy his action, now facing each other.

—Yes, good. You know that she is old, so this is her last semester in Formula 1 since she is going to retire.

—Oh.

—Whether. Well I know this is going to sound crazy, don't panic. It was something that I discussed with the team and the head of the communications department. I told him about you, and he told me that it would be a good idea for you to take Emma's place...

I was stunned. I opened my mouth and closed it again, wanting to say something, but nothing came out.

—Please, don't panic, I know it sounds crazy. In the event that you accept, since you are not required to do so, It would include a process so that you can progressively include yourself in the team before Emma leaves.

—Charles…

He reaches for my hands.

—Grace, think about it… It's a great job offer. And besides, you and I could spend so much time together, it would be a dream for me to be able to see you whenever I want, all the time. It is a torment for me to have you so far away every day.

—I'm not going to lie to you, Charles, what you're telling me is a bit scary for me. Totally changing my routine, reaching out to a whole new group of workers…Will they like me? Will I be good enough? Do you think I can...?

—Hey hey, I know it's scary, but my advice is don't think about it so much, don't let those negative ideas eat you up. You are magnificent at your work, you always have been. And besides, how could they not like you? You are the sweetest, kindest and funniest person I know…

I walk over to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

—I'll think about it Charles, I promise.

…

In a blink of an eye, our trip was already over. Which meant there was only a week left until Charles had to go back to the reality of him in Formula 1, and I would have to go back to my reality of being away from him.

I had thought about what Charles had told me, and I had thought about it a lot. Even my anxiety sometimes wouldn't let me sleep at night thinking about it. Did I want to accept? Of course. But it was impossible not to feel fear. Besides, there's a good chance someone else deserves the job a lot more than I do.

This last week was planned to stay with Charles and his family. So while we unpack, Pascale is sitting on Charles's bed as she listens to some of the events of our trip.

—I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Now I leave you alone. You must be very tired. I'll call you when dinner's ready.— And just like that, Pascale leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Charles sighs as he closes his already empty suitcase and sets it aside. He now sits next to me to help me finish taking out my clothes.

—No need Charles, if you want you can sleep while I finish. Anyway, I don't have much left.

—No, it's okay, I'll help you.— So we started unpacking. Silence filled the room, I could almost hear Charles's heart beating. It was time to talk about it, it was now or never.

—I was thinking…— I started. Charles looked up to put all his attention on me.— You know, Charles, lately I've been thinking a lot about this, about us. I think… we both haven't had a very good time being away from each other for so long. Every time you take that plane that takes you away from me, I only keep half of my heart, because the other half leaves with you. And I am devastated. At first I thought it was something I could handle but the feelings were very strong. I never talked about this with anyone until that day when your mom and mine came to see me, I finally broke down and told them everything. Many ideas went through my head, I thought that perhaps the best thing was for us to separate.

—No, Grace, you, I…— Charles quickly cuts me off, scared. Still both on the floor, with the suitcase between us, I crawl around it until I reach him and take his face in my hands.

—I love you Charles, I love you so much it hurts.— I whisper inches from his face.

—I love you too, I love you so much that if you think you'll be better off if we end this, I'll accept it.— Just whispers, looking down at his hands. My heart will break, but I'll get over it in time, don't worry. And we can still be friends after all.

—I don't want you to get over me, Charles. I don't want this to end, ever.— He looks up again.— You're the love of my life.

—And you are the love of my life.—

—And then, I was also thinking about what you told me about working as your communications assistant… I still have many insecurities about it, and it is something that has not allowed me to be calm. But…then I think I should heed your advice, and go for it, give it a try.

—Yes, I told you so.— I see a small smile appear on his beautiful face.

—And so I thought it would be nice if I accepted it.

—Tell me you're not kidding...

—I'm not kidding Charles.

—Are you sure?

—Very sure. I go to everything with you, together.

And suddenly, Charles gets up from the floor abruptly making me freak out.

—Fuck, I can't find my phone. I have to call John now.— He walks around the room looking for the device. Then I get up and reach for Charles, hugging him from behind.

—I think it would be best if you call him tomorrow, there's still time.— He quickly relaxes into my touch.

—You're right, I'd better wait until tomorrow.

—How about we take a nap now?— I tell him as he turns to look at me.

—Whatever you say, love of my life.

…

NOTE: You know, I really want to write a second part. I still don't know what song to inspire me with, maybe "lover", "paper rings" or some other (you can leave me recommendations in the comments if you like). But it would be to follow the story of Charles and Grace as they work together…situations in the paddock, lots of love. And maybe add some appearance from mick and inez (the story where she is an f1 journalist). What do you think?

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 7 months ago

Note

Photograph by Niclelback

“Photograph” is perhaps one of the most criminally underrated and critically misunderstood songs of all time because people take it at face value due to the memes. However, if you read between the lines you’ll see the truth clear as day: The song is a bittersweet tale of gay romance.

The very first verse wastes no time in elaborating on the tragedy:

Look at this photograph

Every time I do, it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red?

And what the hell is on Joey's head?

Their eyes are red from weeping at the state of Joey, our narrator’s former lover; the line about something being on his head is a reference to the progression of whatever disease was claiming his young life.

Now, you might think this makes the first two lines seem rather callous and insensitive. Why would he be laughing at this tragedy? Well, the rest of the song explains it: He’s laughing because he’s chosen to prioritize remembering the good moments while saying farewell to the tragic memories, making the conscious decision to immortalize Joey’s tragically short life in a positive way and saying farewell to these records that bring back negative memories, as evidenced by the powerful, sweeping chorus:

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It's hard to say it, time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say it, time to say it

Goodbye, goodbye

The rest of the first part of the song really helps flesh out the story with reminiscences of our narrator’s childhood home (likely where his romance with Joey initially blossomed), as well as a criminal record and a failure to graduate:

And this is where I went to school

Most of the time had better things to do

Criminal record says I broke in twice

I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late

Should I go back and try to graduate?

Life's better now than it was back then

If I was them, I wouldn't let me in

These lines can be read in two ways. The first is this can be seen as our narrator detailing his spiral into criminality in the wake of discovering Joey is not long for this world; the second is that it can be read as engaging in reckless bucket list hedonism to make Joey’s last days special. I think the former is closer to the truth due to the song’s themes of saying farewell to negative memories, something supported by the line indicating his life is better now.

The second part of the song comes off as a lot more positive, though still bittersweet as it deals with memories our narrator seems to cherish a little more:

Remember the old arcade

Blew every dollar that we ever made

The cops hated us hangin' out

They say, "Somebody went and burned it down"

We used to listen to the radio

And sing along with every song we know

We said, "Someday we'd find out how it feels

To sing to more than just the steering wheel"

The last line is arguably the most hard-hitting in the whole song, as our narrator did in fact achieve that dream… while Joey, tragically, did not. While he is far more wistful about these reminiscences than the initial ones, he still finds the need to say farewell to this as the survivor’s guilt weighs heavily on his soul.

Then we have the lines indicating that, in the wake of Joey’s death or perhaps merely because of societal norms of the time, he forced himself into heterosexuality:

Kim's the first girl I kissed

I was so nervous that I nearly missed

She's had a couple of kids since then

I haven't seen her since God knows when

At the very least, despite the negative connotations this memory brings, he doesn’t seem quite so bitter about this, which foreshadows the big finish of the song (or indicates he’s actually bi, it’s ambiguous)

And then comes the big twist of the song:

I miss that town, I miss the faces

You can't erase, you can't replace it

I miss it now, I can't believe it

So hard to stay, too hard to leave it

The narrator ultimately acknowledges that, as painful as some of the memories might be, they are still important, defining moments of his life that shouldn’t be carelessly tossed aside. When it comes to the past, you need to take the good with the bad, and not run from the past. There is gurt there, but ultimately the good times outweigh the bad and that Joey’s memory is truly tied to the photographs for better or worse.

And this brings us to the last lines before the final chorus, a reaffirmation that no matter what his love for Joey is eternal, cementing the bittersweet nature of the song:

If I could relive those days

I know the one thing that would never change

This song is so criminally misunderstood, likely due to the easily memeable nature of the music video and Chad Kroeger’s voice and style not the thing that really springs to mind when you think of queer angst. It’s a shame, because this is essentially the audio equivalent of Brokeback Mountain, a queer story of love, loss, and cherished memories that was ahead of its time.

Ultimately, this is the worst Def Leppard cover I’ve ever heard. I give it a 3.5/5.

#Ford analyzes tunes and song stuff #FATASS #Nickelback

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acteur-dramatique · 19 days ago

Text

Faint Echoes of Our Parade

We were the marching band kids of the damned,

hearts pinned to our sleeves like battle scars,

singing loud enough to drown the silence,

but now the music's fading,

a faint echo down an alleyway of lost causes.

You and I - we were more than survivors,

we were rebels without anthems,

raising fists agains the world

with blood in our throats and fire in our veins.

I still hear the choruses of our wasted nights,

guitar strings breaking under the weight of words

we never dared to say.

Your voice was always louder than mine,

but we screamed the same lyrics,

vowed we'd never fade out,

promised we'd burn brighter than the sun

and never give a damn about the ashes.

But look at us now,

caught between verses that don't rhyme,

lost in a bridge we'd never cross.

There's a distance between us,

an offbeat we can't sync up to anymore,

and I feel you slipping out of time,

out of tune,

leaving me to play these chords alone.

You said we were bulletproof,

but I can still feel every shot.

Every goodbye hangs like a funeral hymn,

and the distance between us is growing louder,

a scream I can't silence,

a chorus you can't sing.

Do you remember the blood we spilled in the name of something more?

The broken bottles and midnight confessions,

the lights we bled for the cause

and each other?

We swore we'd never let the world rot us from the inside,

but I see the decay creeping in,

the rust on your soul as you slip away.

We were supposed to be invincible,

but your heart's grown cold,

and I'm still here,

waiting for a note that never comes.

Now it's static,

white noise in spaces between us,

a broken melody we can't fix,

and I wonder if this is how it ends -

not with a bang, but with a slow fade,

a dimming light no one notices until it's gone.

Tell me, was it all for nothing?

Was this parade of ours just a masquerade,

a show we put on to feel alive

while we were dying inside?

I don't want to believe it,

but the distance sounds like your final song,

and I'm not ready for the encore to end.

The ghosts of our rebellion are still singing,

but your voice is fading,

and I can't stand the silence that comes after.

#me #poem #sad poem #depression #depressed #anxiety #loss #grief #lost #unknown #music #i miss you #heartbroken #heartbreak #gone too soon

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flailingdreamist-blog · 9 months ago

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Get Set For Eras - Getaway Car

[Intro] No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car

[Verse 1] It was the best of times, the worst of crimes I struck a match and blew your mind But I didn’t mean it and you didn't see it The ties were black, the lies were white In shades of gray in candlelight I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason

[Pre-Chorus] "X" marks the spot where we fell apart He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed We never had a shotgun shot in the dark (Oh)

[Chorus] You were drivin’ the getaway car We were flyin', but we'd never get far Don't pretend it's such a mystery Think about the place where you first met me Ridin' in a getaway car There were sirens in the beat of your heart Shoulda known I'd be the first to leave Think about the place where you first met me

[Post-Chorus] In a getaway car (Oh-oh-oh) No, they never get far (Oh-oh-ah) No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car

[Verse 2] It was the great escape, the prison break The light of freedom on my face But you weren’t thinkin’ and I was just drinkin' While he was runnin’ after us, I was screamin', "Go, go, go" But with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow And a circus ain't a love story and now we’re both sorry (We're both sorry)

[Pre-Chorus] "X" marks the spot where we fell apart He poisoned the well, every man for himself I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed It hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart (Oh)

[Chorus] You were drivin' the getaway car We were flyin', but we'd never get far Don't pretend it's such a mystery Think about the place where you first met me Ridin' in a getaway car There were sirens in the beat of your heart Shoulda known I'd be the first to leave Think about the place where you first met me

[Post-Chorus] In a getaway car (Oh-oh-oh) No, they never get far (Oh-oh-ah) No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car

[Bridge] We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde (Oh-oh) Until I switched to the other side, to the other side It's no surprise I turned you in (Oh-oh) 'Cause us traitors never win

[Breakdown] I'm in a getaway car I left you in a motel bar Put the money in a bag and I stole the keys That was the last time you ever saw me (Oh)

[Chorus] Drivin' the getaway car We were flyin', but we'd never get far (Don't pretend) Don't pretend it's such a mystery Think about the place where you first met me Ridin' in a getaway car There were sirens in the beat of your heart (Shoulda known) Shoulda known I'd be the first to leave Think about the place where you first met me

[Post-Chorus] In a getaway car (Oh-oh-oh) No, they never get far, oh-oh-ah No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car

[Outro] I was ridin' in a getaway car I was cryin' in a getaway car I was dyin' in a getaway car Said goodbye in a getaway car Ridin' in a getaway car I was cryin' in a getaway car I was dyin' in a getaway car Said goodbye in a getaway car

#taylor swift #spotify #getaway car #reputation #the eras tour #Spotify

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graciecatfamilyband · 5 years ago

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No Memories But These

A/N: Just in time for @ouad-week, part 1 of your classic “Dmitry leaves Paris without uniting with Anya” AU. Dmitry is back in Paris again and it’s harder than he had hoped it would be.

I would love to post one or two more (much) small(er and even less well edited) fic(let)s in this ‘verse this week, but I am at the mercy of physical forces beyond my control.

The rusted key turned in the latch and the wooden door clicked open. Dmitry placed his suitcase—the same one he’d left Paris with the first time—in the doorway as he examined his new flat. It was one room, as expected. The walls were bare but clean. The floor could do with a sweeping. There was a table and a chair. And a real bathtub—so what if it was in the kitchen? No mold either. Not a complete shithole.

Dmitry crossed the room. The bed didn’t even hit the opposite wall when he pulled it down; he’d lived in smaller. The thinness of the mattress wouldn’t matter so much if he could get an extra blanket or two to put atop it. He could afford such extravagances these days.

To the right of the bed, a thirteen-by-thirteen centimeter window looked out onto bricks. Orange light slanted across the wall in spite of the closeness of the building next door and in apparent defiance of the laws of physics. Dmitry noted there was no shade. Another window—more of a grate with glass, really—still small by most standards, but the clear highlight of this room—opened at the ceiling. He guessed that, if he laid down and propped himself up, he would have a perfect view of the fading sunlight as it glinted off the gold cross rising from the Nevsky Cathedral. There’s certainly a sky tonight. Dmitry knew he should appreciate that, but somehow it made him ache.

The spareness of the room, though—that suited him. It was a relief from the whirlwind that was Paris. The boulangeries, cafes, galleries, street traffic, river traffic, and the spring blossoms had all crowded Dmitry as he’d made his way from the train station. The gas streetlights had come on at sunset to turn the city warm and fuzzy. It was entirely too much like it had been three years ago. It may have been to his taste then, but it wasn’t anymore.

Dmitry hauled his suitcase onto the bed and opened it. He was done aching. He had plenty to think about that wasn’t her. He started moving clothes into the small set of drawers in the corner. His two suits—he had two now!—needed ironing. He’d have to find a way to hang them up, too. A professional image was more important to maintain now than ever. (A bourgeois image, his father might have said, probably with some regret. But what was Dmitry supposed to do? For all its flaws, he liked his job. And it beat petty crime by a long shot.)

Yes, he had plenty of other things to think about, he reminded himself as he put his toothbrush by the kitchen sink. There was an ironing board by the bathtub, but where was an iron? He’d have to scrounge up some dinner as well. His coworkers had gone out for the evening—celebrating their new town and new raises—but he didn’t like to spend money he didn’t have yet.

It had been three years. He should be over it by now. He’d actually come out quite well from the whole thing. Not immediately richer, unless you count the first suit, but out of Russia—and no arrests. He’d landed this job, or rather, the job that got him this job. Worked his way up to something. He’d kept getting lucky; he’d made his own luck. He should be happy. And he had been happy, he’d told himself. Until this transfer.

When Melyukov had informed him the Russian Emigrant Children’s Association was moving its headquarters from Strasbourg to Paris, Dmitry had tried to refuse, to stay at the smaller branch they would be leaving behind. His boss had waived his objections away: “This little town is too small for you, Dmitry. You have a big city energy.” How could he tell Melyukov that if he’d wanted to be in Paris, he’d have been in Paris?

“We can do great things there!” Melyukov had assured him. "Much bigger than we can do here.”

And that’s how Melyukov had got him. Dmitry’s proposal. He knew it was good, and he knew his boss was right—as long as they were in Strasbourg, they wouldn’t have the infrastructure, human capitol, or opportunity for financial support to pull it off. If he wanted his plan to see the light of day, Paris was the answer. And if he wanted it to be done right, he had to go there with it. Damn.

And so against his better judgment, Dmitry had gritted his teeth and talked himself into the transfer. Paris was a city of almost three million people. It wasn’t like he moved in the same social circles she did. It would be a place like any other; all he had to do was focus on work and to keep his head down.

But the street car ride to the edge of the eighth arrondissement had proved that, for him, the city was still steeped in her. Dmitry didn’t want to remember walking down the Champs-Elysées with Anya on his arm. He didn’t want to remember wearing a suit for the first time in his life, Vlad scolding him for pulling at the collar that was closing around his throat, as they stood outside Chanel waiting for Anya. He especially didn’t want to remember Anya finally emerging in white or the way the dress gently hugged her figure and the fabric rustled at her knees. “Well?” she’d asked him. “Not bad,” he’d said—what an idiot he’d been.

In their new clothes, people smiled at them. Everyone assumed they belonged there and belonged with each other. Anya moved as if she had been born in that outfit and worn it her whole life. Restricted and fumbling as he felt, Dmitry didn’t care. He’d never seen such freedom as Paris. A stiff collar beat armed guards at every corner any day of the week.

And the bookstores! A person could just walk in and find anything. Dmitry had made Anya go into every one that passed that first day. No, not made—he’d simply asked, and she’d laughed and said, “Again?” But in a way that felt like she was laughing with him.

She hadn’t complained as he riffled through the shelves of yet another politique section, holding up titles for her to translate with her bafflingly fluent French. There were texts on Marxism, Capitalism, Anarchism, Liberalism, Conservatism, women’s suffrage, the labor movement, and so on. In Petersburg, just holding some of the books would be enough to get a person disappeared to a camp; selling them would get you shot on the spot. His father would have loved the bookstore, though Dmitry was sure he would have had plenty to say about the French government too. Nor had Anya commented when he had finally declared he was purchasing The Conquest of Bread in a language he didn’t speak, let alone read. She had simply touched his shoulder in a way that made him think she understood. Who could understand better than her?

She’d been so free with her affection in those heady days: looping her elbow around his, squeezing his arm to get his attention or to silently signal her opinion, laughing against him. The line between them had felt so thin as they took in the Arc de Triomphe, the Tour Eiffel, endless jazz—which he’d liked—and even more paintings—which he hadn’t, except for the lilies. Seeing Paris, and seeing her seeing Paris.

At night, they’d gone dancing. Anya had arrived at and left the club with him, but it had seemed every man wanted to dance with her. Dmitry hadn’t pressed his claim; she could choose to dance with whoever she wanted. He had plenty of options himself. Still, all that practicing, and he hadn’t even gotten to dance with her. His dancing was bad anyway—he’d improved though. She’d improved him.

And finally, of course, there was the ballet. Anya—Anastasia, in that blue dress. Straightening his tie. Her left arm in his right, her free hand coming back to his bicep again and again. The way she had allowed him to slide his hand into hers after she had made confetti out of her playbill, and how tightly she had held on.

And then—Anastasia's hand on his chest, pushing him away from her. Accusing him of all the things he’d actually done. Telling him she hated him. He’d deserved it.

The last time he’d seen her, through the doorway of the hotel room, she had been home. Finally. That should be enough for him. But knowing that she hated him left him raw. He never wanted to see another ballet again as long as he lived.

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troped-fanfic-challenge · 5 years ago

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The Chopped Madness Champion is….

@the-most-beautiful-broom

the-most-beautiful-broom was a steady force in this competition, writing everything from a Canonverse Bellarke Robin Hood Fairy Tale AU to a Marper Titanic Angst AU (+ Marper Aeronauts Angst) to a Political Aassassins Memori Dystopia AU to a Zaven Spider-verse Superheroes AU to a Luna/Lincoln Mirror Universe Thriller AU and they were all FANTASTIC! That’s six (6!) fics and 31k words during the weeks of this competition! You deserve the title of CHOPPED MADNESS CHAMPION! Congratulations! Check out all her fics below:

Qualifying Round Fic: we'd up and fly (if there were wings for flying)

Mods’ Review: Robin Hood was such an awesome fairtytale to choose, we loved this fic! You were really able to bring us into the world of your story so well! Your description of Wells’ death was great, and it really helped bring us into that “robin hood medieval�� world that this story needed! And, obviously, we LOVE wells, so this death was so rough, but so well done!! We really loved Villain Kane, the whole quarry/slavery/chancelor kane concept was so good and so well executed! We really loved the concept, with Bellamy as Robin Hood and Clarke as Maid Marion! It was so great, we need more!! Bellamy being so badass, and putting his name on the packages to make sure Kane knew it was him, was EXCELLENT! We love a Hero!Bellamy plot, but let’s be real here… who doesn’t! We also really loved your little hand washing tutorial, always important, but even more so now… your corona is showing ;)! Bellamy giving Clarke the ring that Wells gave him for her was so sweet! You always manage to bring in such soft, sweet character moments that really bring your stories so much life! This story had so much heart to it, and we loved every word!

Round 1 Fic: Macushla & Both

Mods’ Review: The whole concept of the Macushla fic, the Titanic and the “road trip” being them on their life boat trying to escape, was so creative and exciting. You were able to really nail this setting and story, we loved this fic! Harper just absolutely murdering that journalist was such an awesome opening scene!! The set up of the sinking ship and her trying to find her way to a lifeboat was so good! We were on the edge of our seats, you really established the life or death nature of the situation really well! Also, we love the touch of Monroe being involved somehow! Harper trying so hard to get more people aboard their lifeboat was so harrowing and sad to watch, and it was a really nice touch to see her pushing the people onboard to do their part, and shaming them when they didn’t. It was a really nice character moment for Harper, and felt very true to who she is. Harper choosing to steer the ship was so good! It really added to the story to see how much she wanted to be a part of the effort to help in whatever way she could. She was a heroine we wanted to root for! You were really able to craft this story exceptionally well, and we loved reading it!

We also have to add your Aeronauts AU, Both, to this review! We can’t believe you wrote two fics this round and we’re sorry you couldn’t enter them both for the competition! But we are glad we get this fic in it’s entirety! It’s so beautifully written and a really great look at Harper and Monty. Going from Strangers to Lovers in a hot air balloon “road trip”, was mesmerizing. And it had just the right touch of angst that had us going back to read this fic over and over. Thanks so much for sharing it!

Round 2 Fic: Good to be Back

Mods’ Review: Big fan of the opening, with the radio calls back and forth! It gave the audience the information we needed to get going with the story, while also adding some mystery and suspense as well! Murphy selling salt cubes, and using saltwater as currency, was so creative and fun! It was a nice touch of world building that really added depth to the story! Abby’s death leading to a political coup of some kind was such a great plot line, and it set up your fic so well! Assassins is always such an exciting plot! The “accidental death” assassination was so cool, it showed the expertise that Emori and Murphy have in their line of work, and it was a really cool scene. Hiding the syringe in a tampon wrapper? Genius!! Forced bed sharing to keep up with their married couple facade? Oh the angst! We love a good wake up scene, all sleepy and cute while they lovingly gaze at the other person, and this was no exception! You were able to add such a nice touch of romance and sweetness to a pretty gnarly story, well done! The Resistance pushing Murphy and Emori out after they did their dirty work for them is so good, it made the story feel even more real, and the stakes even more intense! The fact that the reaction to the death by the government was mass destruction was so unsettling but also so believable, you really created a very real dystopia that had us white knuckling it throughout the whole story! Loved that ending, of them planning to keep the work going, and try to save the world. Memori as sort of underground heroes is always a great storyline! This fic was so good!

Round 3 Fic: Into the Blue

Mods’ Review: It’s amazing how you managed to capture the very essence of the Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse movie into your fic! Raven’s introduction to the Other Times Square (and to us) was the perfect setup! We became obsessed with all your character choices, too! Raven as Gwen, Miles/Zeke as Spider-man, Jordan as Miles, Octavia as Doc Ock!, Jasper as Prowler, Diyoza as Aunt May, Madi and her robot, Bellamy as Spidernoir and Murphy as Spider-Pig?! SO CREATIVE! The added layer of angst you weaved between these characters is something to behold. The simple glances between Zaven and lines like, “The universe gives her back her best friend for him to not know her, to be older and colder and to not know her. And then kills another version of him, just for fun.” Or “Who was your Jasper?” Raven had been alone in her world and you explored the found family trope so wonderfully in this fic. “It’s been so long since she let herself rely on others...a part of her wants to go back with each of them. She doesn’t do friends. This feels a little more like a family.” Cue the tears as they all said goodbye and Raven went into the blue!!! And the final scene much later as she goes into yellow hinting at more for Zaven is just perfect. We enjoyed this fic so much!!!!

Round 4 Fic: we cross our bridges and burn them behind us

Mods’ Review: We love the idea of a Science Squad who are HELLBENT on proving the multiverse, it feels so true to the sci-fi thriller genre, to have a team of ‘good guys’ who make some discovery, and then have to deal with the repercussions. Also, such a nice touch, using Nadia’s last name for Luna. It’s a nice change from the ‘water’ based last names that Bailey is definitely guilty of lol. The escaped double is an excellent concept, and so very exciting! Honestly, HOLY SHIT. ALIE leveled midtown in like four hours?! That's Insane! You are always so deft at creating real tension within your stories, while still making sure they have real meaning and emotion behind them, and we love that you never pull your punches! “I don’t do teams” “wrong earth for that” FANTASTIC. It's like ‘you will join this found family and you will LIKE IT.’ And from Wells, our hearts! We always love any mention of Wells! We ALSO love a suspenseful two hour countdown! Very ‘end of the world, 1 man can save us’, like one of those movies where Gerard Butler is somehow the only man who can save the President from certain doom, but obviously in a good way! Raven’s motivational hero speech being ‘nah it’ll be good as long as we get to it’ is so in character and hilarious, we loved it! Oh my god… Jasper’s death scene, Bailey literally had her mouth hanging open. We loved that you had Luna ask if he knew, and the weight of the realization that it was usually Luna, even if he didn’t say it. So much emotion happening in such an intense scene, so well done! The twist that she’s not actually Luna 47!!! SOO well done, we can’t deal! And it makes the scene a little earlier, where Lincoln said “thought it was you” make so much more sense! We were honestly BLOWN away by this fic, it was intense and exciting, heartfelt and sweet, full of deftly handled intense plots and really amazing character moments. This fic was definitely deserving of pushing you over the edge to become our Chopped Champion!

———

Now that Chopped Madness is complete, all the fics written for Chopped Madness by all authors have been revealed and you can post about your fics! Don’t forget to tag us!

Our non-anonymous collection is still open for anyone who is interested in sharing fics they’ve written based on any of the Chopped Madness prompts! We’d love to see what you come up with, and we’ll happily share your work on our blog! The non-anon collection can be found here! To submit your fic to the collection, simply enter ‘chopped_non_anonymous’ as the name of the collection when uploading your fic!!!

Non-Anon AO3 Collection Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Chopped_Non_Anonymous

This is the end of Chopped Madness! Thanks so much to the 16+ authors who participated in this event, we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!!

#chopped madness #chopped madness: champion #author reveal

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