#we’re not gonna look at the perspective on this one too hard folks

[makesyouevil]

the space you left behind 🎐

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Jojolands - First Impressions

That’s what we’re doing here. I know I haven’t really delved into Jojo’s much before, but I know several of my mutuals are big into it and I am at least a fan of this bizarre multi-generational adventure. Still need to finish Part 8 but honestly...I’ll probably just wait for the anime. It’s too confusing for me to properly binge the manga. I’ll keep any actual spoilers under the cut, but first...

I’m sold. This intro chapter hooked me more than Stone Ocean. I’ve never really been into JJBA for the plot, I like what my boyfriend said when I got him to watch the dub. “This is one where you’re just here to enjoy the experience.” If I put it in art terms, something like One Piece is a very traditional story. It’s not exactly breaking a lot of new territory, more perfecting an established style. Jojo’s? That’s abstract art. Sure there’s an overarching story to each part and how they tie together, but you’re mostly just enjoying the vibe. And oh my god do I love everything about this vibe in Part 9. First and foremost though...

My newest beloved blorbo Dragona. Just gonna say this now and get it out of the way; it’s as worth getting hung up on pronouns as it is that clip of Izo referring to Kiku as his “brother.” Differing norms are going to make this finicky, especially when we’re talking about a Japanese author writing about Hawaii as a setting through the viewpoint of a 15yo younger brother. Little different, but I live in an area with a lot of Marshall Islanders. You sorta get used to it. We could ultimately find out Dragona is as much a “woman at heart” as someone like Kiku and referring to him as such still makes sense in context. Especially with an older Japanese author and there still very much being a mindset of like, not using “transgender” to refer to anyone except someone who has fully transitioned and treating it like a man becoming a woman there. Make sense?

All that to say, use your eyes and common sense over getting hung up on specific words. I’ll probably casually use she/her most of the time because it’s hard not to. Everything I see so far suggests Dragona also acts pretty girly and hell...I’ve known 18yo trans folk existing in a space like this while they sort themselves out. We’re clearly going for something in that bubble, I’m sure Dragona will have more room to clarify...it’s Jojo’s, just roll with it. Because by all accounts we’re looking at the sane, reasonable one in the group. And that’s cool, I’m definitely keeping an eye on this pair from the perspective of wondering if maybe, just maybe Araki was a little influenced by a certain pair of samurai “brothers” who like to play with similar territory. If nothing else, our introduction does show, not tell that absent being informed most people are going to read Dragona as female. Curious about those “cosmetic injections” as well.

With that out of the way, I adore our introduction to these new Joestars. Sets the time, locale, everything so well. They’re rocking out to Dua Lipa, hassled by dickhead cops, name dropping covid, cops one up the racism with transphobia. Then our best bros fuck em up. Awesome. These parts since Stone Ocean all track with an AU version of a previous part, and I love that we don’t waste time showing off our new cast as a twist on Passione from Vento Aureo. Though this time we aren’t screwing around with noble intentions. This is all about getting filthy rich and I’m here for it. Especially with my second love from this first chapter.

This bitch. Who is, without a doubt, 100% that bitch. If she has a Stand please let it be Lizzo inspired. Speaking of Stands, Jodio’s November Rain is cool looking and I like the reference...but of course Dragona is the better one with a nod to the absolutely legendary slow jam Smooth Operator. Given the similarities I love the jokes about “Sex Reassignment Pistols” Fun fact, 80s wrestler and guy who looks like he walked straight out of a porno “Ravishing” Rick Rude would sometimes use that song as entrance music. Does it sound like fight music? Nah, but he made it werk. Where the hell was I?

Right, let’s steal this diamond! Good hook, I’m invested and we have the gang together. Although I know this series well enough to know we’ll probably find a better motivation along the way (please be nice to momma and Beach Boy’s reference Barbra Ann Araki, she’s so loving) for now I love focusing on a gang of scrunkly criminals who make no bones about it. Jodio’s going to school solely to sell drugs, Dragona and Boss Bitch Meryl seem to have a lovely bond. Like I said, a part hasn’t hooked me this well since introducing Jolyene ashamed to have been caught paddlin’ the pink canoe. Part where I just died though...

Two words were all I needed to see to know Araki did his research on the islands. Spam Onigiri. It makes sense if you know the history, soldiers in WW2 brought Spam with them to a lot of these islands because it’s easy meat to ship and stockpile. It became popular trading fodder with locals, they still very much consume a lot to this day. Because it’s also something you don’t have to worry about taking a while to ship. And there are some dope Polynesian recipes built around using it these days. I’ve just personally always found that a fun quirk from the Marshall Islanders I know and past experience with people from Hawaii, Guam, etc. Will never forget a lab partner from Guam in college, said something about it and he was just gobsmacked. Had been going his whole time here wondering why it was so hard to find certain flavors on the mainland. 

Anyways, that was a lot of disjointed rambling to say I’m very excited about Part 9. Disjointed rambling is on theme though because it’s Jojos. Nothing bad is allowed to happen to Dragona or Barbara Ann. Paco and the weird guy? Meh. Jodio’s great because he’s a scruffy no-goodnik and proud of it.

[blue-eye-samurai]

@ira-sairain exactly!! No one here is saying that ONLY biracial women (in this case Asian + White) are allowed to enjoy this show. We all understand that Mizu is a very relatable character who’s story + lived experiences will resonate with many different people. Having said that, though … it still doesn’t change the fact that Mizu IS canonically a biracial WOMAN.

Her gender is not “up for interpretation” in canon — it’s not an unsolved mystery by the end of season one.

Trans men are men, but Mizu is not a man. Mizu is a woman who has been forced to present as a man for most of her life and for reasons that have nothing to do with being trans masc. Plus, it’s a well known fact that women throughout history have often had to disguise themselves as men in order to survive, travel safely and be able to pursue interests that go beyond marriage and/or motherhood.

@kabutone you should be able to resonate with the lyrics of a song without erasing the original intent of the person who actually wrote the song.

People don’t actually have to be Black in order to enjoy fictional media like “Black Panther”, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for non-Black folks to decenter Black people from their own canon stories.

Can y’all try to understand that? If yes, then why is it so hard for you to understand us (women of color) and our perspectives when it comes to Mizu in Blue Eye Samurai?

Stories are not JUST stories, okay. Mizu is not merely a blank canvas for all marginalized people to project themselves onto. Can ANYONE relate to Mizu’s story? Absolutely. But that still doesn’t mean Mizu’s story is actually about everyone.

Mizu’s story was written with very clear intentions because one of the co-writers of the show is in fact a biracial Japanese woman herself (Amber Noizumi) and she obviously shaped Mizu’s story around her own lived experiences as a woman of color too.

All the creators of this show refer to Mizu mainly by she/her pronouns, so it honestly does feel deeply misogynistic (and racist as well tbh) when some people on here constantly argue that Mizu isn’t canonically a woman.

Also, not everyone who lives + presents as male or “masculine” is going to identify as a man. Assuming so invalidates the lived experiences of many people who are marginalized and that definitely includes cishet women of color.

Honestly, I can’t help but feel like many of you with this mentality online are just completely incapable of relating to women of color unless we’re either A.) performing hyper femininity like Akemi does or B.) canonically queer as well.

And that really hurts a lot, especially because as a fellow biracial (Chinese + Iberian) and multicultural woman myself (who’s not traditionally feminine either but still very much identifies as a woman), I’ve never felt more seen and heard in my life until I saw Mizu.

There aren’t many well written stories about cis women of color in general, much less ones with heroines who aren’t traditionally feminine either but who still want to be loved and secretly want a soft life.

And yeah, I’ve seen some of you argue on here that maybe Mizu doesn’t identify as a woman because she’s never been allowed to openly be one. I get that and I hear you, but I still feel it’s deeply wrong to discount Mizu’s as a woman when she gives us a very valid perspective of being a woman — particularly one who doesn’t fit into society’s racist and misogynistic ideal standards “womanhood”.

Again, we are NOT saying that ONLY women of color are allowed to like this show, but y’all should be able to resonate with Mizu without striping away the canon narrative of her story.

This thread is already long AF, so I’m just gonna end it here by quoting the lovely @kenniex2 once again:

“media as a window and a mirror. blue eye samurai is a window for y’all you are on the outside looking in”

I don’t know how some of you could watch blu eyed samurai and still debate Mizu’s gender like hello ??? media literacy dead ??? Mizu is a woman, that’s the whole fucking point !!!! That’s her biggest crime !!!

Eiji couldn’t care less about her heritage but he literally cut her off when she tried to confess her gender !!!!

Mikio was fine with her being half white but the moment she dared to show him that -as a woman- she was a greater fighter it was over. His ego was irreparably hurt because a woman defeated him !!!!

And he calls her a monster !!!! He calls her a monster because she’s a woman and she’s strong she’s capable she can fight she isn’t submissive and that’s the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[exuberantocean]

One of the things I keep circling back to is how hard it’s will be for Ted to be public out about his mental health struggles.  I mean, it would be hard for anyone to be in his position, but since his trauma is rooted in his father’s suicide, it is even that much more problematic.

Because, folks the smartest thing for AFC Richmond to do from a PR point of view, it to lean into the issue.  We’re the club that supports mental health of our players, or coaches, our fans.  The smartest thing from a PR perspective would be to have Ted do some mental health spokesmanship.

And inevitable that’ll lead to at least some issues of suicide.�� Even from the beginning, Trent’s article (what we can see of it) cites the rising levels of men’s suicide in the UK.  Even if Ted avoids working with organizations that deal with suicide prevention directly, he’s going to get questions like “What do you think we should do to prevent suicides?” or “What is your take in the rising rates of men’s suicides in the UK?” or “How should sports culture change to prevent suicides?”

Those are hard questions in and of themselves, but for Ted they would be triggering.  To be honest, even if he wasn’t doing any mental health spokesmanship, he’d still probably get questions like that.  People will still look to him as the football guy to ask these questions too.  And the journalists asking wouldn’t even be guilty of being dicks for asking, because they wouldn’t know (but you could bet the questions-particularly from the Sun-would still happened if they knew).

And, to be honest, I know Ted made progress last season, but I just don’t think he made enough progress to be in a place where he can deal with these questions and still stay in a good place mentally.  If Sharon’s not back by the start of the season, but returns later, that’s another support he’s missing.  Plus his friends still don’t understand the root cause of his issues (another support he could have but doesn’t).

I think the start of S3 is gonna rough for so many reasons (.i.e. Nate, i.e. I think he’s confronted his trauma but hasn’t really dealt with it), and this is just going to add to it.  

[your-posts-are-schist]

This post is probably gonna be a bit longer than the other two, but let's give a huge shout out to trans and nonbinary aces.

Being both trans/enby and ace comes with... Well, a lot. For starters we grow up with the ideals of our sexuality and sexual expression based on our agabs pushed on us from day one. And this doesn't really go away when we realize we're trans/enby either. I'll mostly be speaking from my perspective here though, as the intersection of being trans/enby can be both similar or vastly different depending on the person. So feel free to add on about your own experiences as trans/enby aces!

As an androgynous enby, my experiences with being both hypersexualized and desexualized because of my percieved gender often increases when people know I'm asexual. People will double down and try to either convince me it's "normal for girls to not feel attraction" or insist that "you need a doctor, men are supposed to be sexual you know". Not only is this incredibly frustrating as a sex indifferent asexual but it's often triggered my dysphoria to be routinely assumed I'm a cis man or woman.

And something I've heard from other trans/enby folks is the assumption we're asexual because of our dysphoria. It's really insulting to me to hear people assume they understand why I'm "really" asexual. And moreso when I hear they think it's entirely because of my dysphoria. When people tell you that you probably think you are asexual because you're disgusted with your body/can't imagine being in a sexual situation because you have dysphoria... I cant even think of any words to describe how disgusting I find those assumptions. Asexuality is not a symptom of dysphoria and treating it as such is not a good look. (Though I do understand people will use it for such reasons, if the label helps them feel comfortable and safe for the time being then I won't complain.)

And then there's the hypersexualization of trans/enby folks too. When people sexualize you for just existing or assume your orientation is a lie because clearly all trans/enby folks are that way to trick people into sleeping with them... Or that your gender is inherently linked to some kind of sex fantasy rather than just being your gender. That shit hits and it hits hard and deep, with snares to catch and hold. It can be hard to let go of that overly sexual image the world paints of you just for existing. You might think you can't be asexual because that's not what's expected of you to be like.

This might be less cogerent than the other two posts I made, and I'm sorry for that. But there's so many different things that just hit different as a tran/enby ace. It can be incredibly confusing and hard to put into words. But we're fucking great and I'm so proud of those of you who are ace and trans/enby, so I hope y'all are proud of yourselves too.

[k7l4d4]

A New Perspective: Owl House AU Story Part 2

Hello all, this is the second part of the collaboration between myself and the talented Flamestar50, give em a hand folks!! To note, I’ve cleaned up and proofread the work they provided, but this is definitely the result of Flame’s hard work and skill. Everybody Clap Your Hands!!!

Eda and Luz stood stunned at the group of people that had managed to crush Lilith.

“Stay back Luz,” Eda warned, but as Luz continued to approach the group, Eda rolled her eyes at the brush-off to her warning.

“Oh god what the hell happened.” One of the people groaned.

“Are you guys okay?” Luz said, leaning closer to the group. As she took in the appearance of them, her eyes widened. “Gus, Willow, Amity? What are you guys doing here? And who are these other people? She asked, gazing at the unfamiliar faces. Suddenly, another face in the pile caught her attention. Wait, that couldn’t be, i-it was-

“IMPOSTOR!!!” Luz yelled, pointing a finger at, well, herself.

“Who are you!?” The impostor Luz yelled back.

“I’m you! Wait, no, I’m me, and you’re PRETENDING to be me. What are you doing, pretending to be me with my friends you, you POSER!” Luz spat.

“I’m not the poser, you are!!” The “impostor” spat back.

“Um, someone better explain what’s going on here, and soon,” Eda asked, completely ignoring Lilith’s muffled protests and complaints over being sat on.

“Alright, there’s only one way to see who the real Luz is!” King announced from the floor. “What is Luz’s favorite... BOOK SERIES!”

“The Good Witch Azura.” Both Luz’s answered confidently, and in perfect sync to boot.

“Okay, this is gonna be tougher than I thought.” King sighed.

“Um, hello.” A soft voice called from the door. All faces turned to it, and saw Amity entering the house, Gus and Willow following closely behind.

“Hi Luz, I came over hear for the study session, and- Oh my Titan...” Amity gasped as she saw a group of familiar and unfamiliar faces sprawled across the floor, and two Luz’s aggressively pointing at one another.

“OH MY GOD THERE’S AN IMPOSTOR AMITY TOO!?” Luz gasped. “How will I know who the real Amity is?”

“What are you doing to my Luz?” Amity glared at her second self.

“I didn’t do anything! It was your Luz who brought us here!” The other Amity shot back.

“*GASP*! Luz! Are you trying to make clones of me!?” Amity whirled towards Luz, a blush blooming across her face.

“What? NO, of course not, at least, I don’t think so... Wait, did I just clone everyone!?” Luz gasped.

“I’M A CLONE!?” “Impostor” Gus shrieked.

“Wait, if you all are clones, than who are you?” Luz asked, pointing to the scary older girl glowering at them beneath her beanie, a metal bat slung over her shoulder.

“What do you mean, that’s my, I mean your, actually our older sister, Victoria.” Alter Luz said, sidling up closer to Luz, a look of slight confusion on her face.

But, I don’t have a sister.” Luz stated.

“Yes you do, you have two.” Alter Luz countered.

“No, I’m an only child.” The two stared in blatant bewilderment at each other, before they started screaming in confusion, provoking a commotion of panicked yelling among the groups.

“Um, shouldn’t you do something?” King asked, looking up towards Eda, who was currently sipping her Apple Blood, snickering at the scene before her.

“Nah, this is kinda entertaining.” She snorted.

“EDALYN!” Lilith managed to shout over the ruckus.

Eda wryly blinked in her sister’s direction. “Oh, I forgot you were there. Alright, calm down kids, could you all get off my sister, you’re currently squishing her to death.” The group awkwardly shuffled away as Eda helped her sister to her feet. Lilith quietly mumbled out a thanks before muttering to herself as she fixed her messed-up hair.

Putting her hands on her chin, with a sly grin, Eda continued. “Okay, let’s start over. What exactly happened here?”

------------------------------------------------

Vela sat hunched on the couch, fidgeting nervously. After this world’s Luz explained about the Potion, and the shard, and her group explained about the portal that appeared and sucked them in, Lilith had retreated, muttering about needing to research, before excusing herself to find some books and do just that. In the mean time, everybody had split up into their individual groups.

Both Luz’s were currently talking to Victoria, who was smugly showing off her glyph inscribed metal bat. Both Willows and Guses were having a pleasant chat, while Sallix, their Willow’s older sister, was... asleep. Yeah, only Sallix Park could be the type of person capable of falling asleep while being sucked into a portal leading to another dimension.

Vela’s little sister, Amity, was having a conversation with her counterpart as well. Vela honestly couldn’t understand her younger sister could stay so calm in a situation like this. Speaking of calm, Amaryllis, Vela’s older sister, was currently chatting pleasantly with the Owl Lady. It was strange to see her smiling, as she usually had this cold demeanor that stopped anyone from approaching her.

But, back in their world, Amaryllis admired the Owl Lady, A LOT. Perhaps it was the same here? Most likely. Other than that, all that was left was Luz’s other older sister, Mari, who was... wait a minute, where was Mari!? Vela began frantically scanning the room in a panic. Mari was nowhere in sight.

“Oh no.” Vela whispered. Mari was a great person at heart, she really was. But, she was also insanely curious, to the point that she would gladly break into people’s lockers and sneak into their houses. Leaving her alone was probably the worst thing you could do. Vela quickly got to her feet, scampering over to Amaryllis, who was standing alone while Eda went to get some more drinks.

“Amaryllis, do you know where Mari is?” Vela whimpered.

“Why do you care?” The older girl responded with an annoyed glance, as though Vela was wasting her time.

“I-I just n-need to find her.” She stuttered. Amaryllis rolled her eyes.

“I think she went upstairs,” She said, jerking a thumb in the direction of the stairs, before turning and walking away. Vela breathed out shakily. She felt kind of dumb being scared of her own sister, but how could she not be? The only reason she asked Amaryllis is because she is ALWAYS watching her surroundings. She knows everything. Vela hurriedly padded up the stairs.

“Mari?” Vela called quietly. There was a slight shuffling coming from one of the rooms. Vela quietly cracked one of the doors open, only to find Mari going through the Owl Lady’s Nest!!

“Mari! What are you Doing!?” Vela exclaimed quietly.

“Huh?” Mari turned, spotting Vela. “Oh, Hi Vela. I’m looking through the Owl Lady’s stuff to see how different she is from the one back home.”

“Mari, we just talked about this last night, you can’t just do stuff like that.” Vela whimpered, grabbing the other girl’s arm and pulling her away.

“But Vela, it’s for the sake of research.” Mari pouted. As Vela and Mari exited the room, a figure before them made them both freeze.

“Hey, what are you guys doing up here?” Luz asked. As she didn’t appear to be mad, it was probably Counter Luz.

“We, um, were looking for the... bathroom.” Vela said quickly.

“Oh, it’s at the end of the hall.” Luz smiled, pointing towards the bathroom.

“Okay, thank you,” Vela said, pulling Mari with her, who was waving goodbye.

“No problem!” Luz said happily. Finally, once the two were inside, Vela locked the door.

“Mari!” Vela said, whirling towards the girl. “Are you crazy?”

“Vela, your overreacting. It was a simple scanning, nothing bad.”

“You broke into the room of a woman from another dimension!”

“Vela, calm down.”

“Calm down!? How can I stay calm at a time like this? We’re in a new world with your sisters, my sisters, Willow and her sister, not to mention Gus, and we don’t know how, or even if we can get back home!! Oh Titan, this is going to be horrible for my studies!” Vela started pacing, her breath growing more frantic. “ I CANNOT get another low grade. If I get just one more, Mom is going to kill me! She’s already so...”

“Vela!” Mari exclaimed, taking the girl’s shaking hand. “I need you to breathe, just breathe. Listen, we’re going to be okay! We have each other, and together, we’ll make it through!” Vela nodded, her breathing having evened out, as Mari placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, I know, let’s go talk to Lilith. I’m sure she’ll have found something in her research that’ll make you feel less worried!” Vela smiled.

“Alright, but you have to promise you won’t go snooping around the house.”

“Fine. I’ll try.” Mari sighed. Vela nodded in content.

“Ready?” Mari asked, taking her hand.

“Ready.” Vela nodded as they stepped out of the bathroom.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Victoria lay sprawled on the couch, watching as her youngest sister and her counterpart chatted away about magic, and Azura Book Clubs. It was honestly amazing how those two could fawn over a fictional book series, despite being from different dimensions. Even Amaryllis was making the most of the situation, chatting away with the Owl Lady. God, she is such a fangirl.

Victoria, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to get back home. As much fun as this unexpected visit turned out to be, she had her own life to get back to. Suddenly, Lilith, followed by Mari and Vela, walked into the room. At the sight of Lilith’s uncertain expression, all Victoria could think was,

“Oh no, what’s the bad news?”

“Ahem, if I may have everyone’s attention?” The whole room turned to look at Lilith.

“What’s up sis?” Eda asked.

“Well, after carefully studying the potion, along with a bit of research, I believe I have figured out how the portal occurred. You see, Luz’s Potion was designed to generate a portal between two points depending upon where the bottle was thrown. The door used to travel between the Demon Realm and the Human Realm contained a material known as Titan’s Blood, which opens rifts between worlds. The two interacting resulted in the portal opening to alternate worlds manifesting. The problem is, I have no idea what occurred to bring the children’s alternates and their alternate’s siblings here.” Lilith finished, looking slightly concerned.

“And what does that mean for us?” Victoria spoke up.

“Until I figure out exactly what occurred to bring you all here, I’m afraid I cannot guarantee you all a way home.” There it was, the news they had all been dreading. Vela let out a little hiss, while Amity and Willow exchanged concerned glances.

“So, what’s gonna happen now,” Luz asked.

“Well, you kids are gonna need a place to crash,” Eda stated. ”And I think its best if you kids split up.”

“Split up!” Mari exclaimed.

“Look kid, I like all of you, I really do, but there’s no way in hell I’m having everyone plus some total strangers crash at my place, and even if I wanted to, I don’t have enough space for everyone!” She said, throwing up her arms.

“I believe the most logical option is for everyone to take their counterparts and others home with them.” Lilith added.

“But, what about our parents?” Willow asked.

“Don’t you worry, I’ll help talk to them.” Eda assured her. After a bit more arranging, it was time for everyone to leave. Mr. and Mrs. Blight were out of town on business, which came as a relief to everyone. Eda and Lilith went to escort Willow and Gus home, giving them a chance to work things out with their parents.

“Alright Luz, take care of our guests, and don’t break anything while I’m gone. I’m trusting you!” Eda called from the door.

“Don’t worry Eda, you can count on me!” Luz yelled back.

“See ya in a bit kid,” Eda waved, before slamming the door shut, ignoring Hooty’s muffled shout.

“Well, it’s just us now.” Luz said, feeling awkward. She had been left with her counterpart Luz, along with her two sisters, Mari and Victoria. There was an uncomfortable silence between the group.

“Sorry about this whole mess, guys.” She said quietly, kicking her feet.

“Yeah, you should be.” Victoria snapped gruffly.

“Victoria!” Counter Luz scolded.

“What? It’s her fault we’re stuck in this mess. You think I wanted to spend my day like this!?” Victoria spat back. Luz’s expression fell, and Victoria instantly felt guilty.

“I’m gonna go downstairs,” She sighed, excusing herself. Once she was out of sight, Luz let out a small whimper.

“Hey, don’t worry about her. She just gets a bit snappy when she’s stressed.” Mari reassured, gently rubbing Luz’s back.

“I know, I just feel so guilty for dragging you all into this mess!”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Counter Luz chided. “We’re just going to have to make the most of this.”

“Yeah, we can do this, Lilith will find a way back for you guys soon, I’m sure of it!” Luz nodded. Now, if only she could convince herself she was right.

[winterhawk-olympic-bang]

Let’s Get It On

How To Write Sex

Guest Poster: CB

Here is our second Writer Workshop post, written by CB. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too. 

So Your Characters Want to Bang

Welcome to my Ted Talk on How To Successfully Write Pornography! We’re going to cover a few bases here (first, second, third, and home base, to keep up with the metaphor), but feel free to reach out if you have any questions either on the Discord server or here on the Tumblr. If you take a look at my body of work you can see that a significant portion of it is explicit fic, which I’m told is a struggle for some folks.  Apparently my CPU is 80% porn.exe, so I’ve got a bit of a niche. Additionally, I’ve got a medical professional background that includes a very specific nurse certification in sex-related shenanigans, so if you’ve got questions, I’ve got answers. 

When I decide to write porn (or when my characters decide it for me), I have a few basic things that I keep in mind in order to make sure the story stays on track, the character arcs fit with the scenarios, and that everything doesn’t start to feel too formulaic.  I’m going to share my methods and maybe you will find something that helps you out or inspires you to give writing explicit fic a try!

The Mechanics

Let’s start with the basics. Fictional pornography can start to feel, well, a little bit formulaic, especially if you read or write a lot of it.  There’s a standard formula of kissing, rubbing, fingers, dicks (or other bits), everybody comes, the end! There’s nothing wrong with sticking to the basic formula, especially your first time (ha!), but here are some thoughts on how you can make sure you’re getting the specifics done and done well, and how to avoid feeling like you’ve written the sexual equivalent of an English essay. 

Lubrication.  It… really doesn’t matter exactly what kind of sex your characters are having, you can’t go wrong with lube. Getting things wet and slippery is half the fun and also twice the enjoyment. Sometimes characters decide to get it on in unfortunately risque locations, and lube may not be readily available - here is a nice list of MacGyvered lube solutions you may find helpful in that circumstance. That being said - if you are writing anal sex of some sort, lubrication is an absolute must have. 

Preparation. Otherwise known as foreplay.  Prep is and can be sexy! Everyone involved wants to have a good time, some preparation is required! I don’t just mean fingers in the butt (although that can be important too, we’re gonna get to that), but just generally building up the level of arousal over time adds to the dynamic you’re trying to create between two characters. Even if it’s fuck-or-die, sex pollen shenanigans, just talking about how hot the character feels for it is still a form of preparation/foreplay.  Specifically speaking to buttsex - the amount of prep your character needs is heavily dependent on the circumstances.  For your consideration - is this a first time sex situation, or does your character regularly bottom? Are they pressed for time, or is this a long, drawn-out affair? There is not (despite what fanfic writers would have you believe) a certain number of fingers that you have to insert into anyone’s anus that makes them ‘ready’ for sex.  A person who regularly bottoms may not need any fingering at all, in fact, but they are still going to need lube. (See point 1.) If your character has never bottomed before, they’re going to need more time and patience than a character that does it a lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they need more and more and more fingers. It just means they need a partner with consideration for their comfort. And lube.

Coming. People (and thus, characters) don’t often come at exactly the same time.  Frequently someone comes first. The other person may not come at all! They don’t have to! If it’s important to you, that’s fine. But it can be fun to play with the dynamics of one character coming and the other character not, because they’re caring for the first character, or because they want to wait and enjoy the burn for later, or because of whatever other reason - which brings us back to character and story dynamic. Also, playing with this particular dynamic can make your pornography feel a lot less formulaic.  Character B didn’t come because they wanted to wait and savor the feeling, and maybe in a few hours or days, Character A gets to really have a good time paying them back with a truly spectacular orgasm.  Maybe they just really wanted to see their partner fucked out and happy, and coming really wasn’t that important to them. Maybe they’re sex-postive ace, or maybe they take medication that makes sex and orgasms hard to achieve, but they still enjoy the intimacy. It’s up to you (and your characters!), but it’s not necessary for both people to come for the scene to be satisfying.

Penetration. Penetration is not the end-all-be-all of sex. Penetration isn’t even required for something to be considered sex.  Some people never want penetration, and that’s okay.  This is a good time to consider your characters’ boundaries, a good way to involve consent, and a good way to consider what kind of bedroom dynamic your characters are going to share - even or especially if it’s completely different to the dynamic they share outside the bedroom.  Is penetration necessary or important to the characters, the story, or the development of the relationship? Even if you just want to write it, that’s fine, but considering your characters’ perspective and feeling will give the act more depth and nuance.

Expectations (and subverting them so that whatever you’re writing feels fresh and different). Like I said before, there’s a certain amount of ‘this is what’s going to happen’ expectation in fictional pornography. A series of steps that you can pretty much guarantee is going to get you from point A to point F in the sexual alphabet. One of the biggest ways that you can make your sex scenes feel more intimate, more character-driven, and more unique is by subverting those expectations and doing something different that fits your dynamic better or isn’t “the norm”. For example, in a recent fic I had a character fantasize about what it would be like to have the object of their affection on their hands and knees - but when it came time for the sex, said character flipped the script and climbed on top instead! Fictional pornography isn’t real, and people don’t necessarily want realism in their fiction, but adding some realistic elements (oh no, I’ve lost the lube!/it turns out I don’t like this one thing can we try another thing/a hilarious thing has just happened) can be fun and unexpected, and make the reader more invested in your story.

So You Want To Add An Explicit Scene

You’re writing a lovely enemies to friends back to enemies to lovers arc and the time has come to do the do.  I’m excited for you! I’m excited for your characters! But now you want to know how do I add this to my story organically? How do you make this feel like a natural progression of the story, how do you segue from fighting Doombots to sweating it up in the sheets? 

The trick, in my experience, is to build up to that moment way before you get there.  You have to lay the groundwork for attraction before anyone takes off any clothes.  Does Character A get distracted during the fight by staring at Character B’s biceps? Was that an absolutely beautiful sniper shot at an impossible angle and it was so good that Character A’s breath literally catches in his chest and he nearly gets hit in the face by a robot fist? Did someone else in the battle have to remind Character B to pay attention to the fight?  Is it movie night and Character A doesn’t even know the plot of the film because they’ve been too busy staring at Character B’s face in the light of the television screen? 

A little pining goes a long way, but you have to establish attraction before your characters can act on attraction. It feels jarring to your readers if the characters hated each other two paragraphs ago and now they’re fucking in a public space.  Even if it’s hate sex, you gotta have the POV character hate how attractive they find the other character.  Then you just need an inciting event - one character takes off their shirt because it’s ripped from the fight, or they bump into each other in the communal kitchen and that hot line of their bodies pressed together sparks a kiss - and then you’re off and running! 

The exception to this might be an established relationship Plot What Plot fic, but even then, you’ve probably got an idea that sparks the actual sex - include that in your fic!

Help, This Is Moving Way Too Fast!

Oh no, the pacing is off! It happens to the best of us, don’t worry. You get in a hurry (just come already, oh my god!), and you push through to the end and then on re-read or in beta, you find that the whole thing just feels flat and rushed.  It started off so well, and then you lost something somewhere in the middle. 

The way I combat this is by focusing on how the characters feel and/or how they react to what’s happening. 

Someone’s mouth is on someone else’s body - how does the POV character feel about this? If they’re the recipient, is this the hottest thing that’s ever happened to them? Are they afraid to let go and enjoy it? Are they 404 Error: Brain Not Found? Play around with it. Does the non-POV character say something unbelievably hot/romantic/sappy/hilarious? What kind of mood are you trying to set? This is a character interaction as much as dialogue is, so you’re still working with the back-and-forth of two people who are communicating, but with their bodies. (And words too, to be honest).  If the scene is too rushed, slow it down with some internal dialogue, external dialogue, or something emotional (like a realization or an acknowledgement - oh no I love them/oh no I don’t hate them/they always take good care of me). If the scene is too long (to be honest this rarely happens, but it can), consider whether you’ve added too much dialogue or other extraneous interactions that have slowed your scene and taken attention away from what’s happening.

Help, It Sounds Like A Medical Exam

This is nearly always a terminology problem. 

I’m not here to tell you what words you can and cannot use in your sex scenes.  Everyone feels differently about acceptable terminology (though we have all laughed at dick euphemisms).  And that’s not even getting into writing fics with trans characters or different gender identities. Personally, I tend to use cock/dick for penis, and I avoid specifically naming parts for vagina-havers because I’ve never found a good one that I liked that I felt flowed smoothly in my own writing.  So this one is more nebulous because it’s a personal choice you’re making about what words do it for you and what words don’t.  It’s also, again, about your character’s perspective.  If you have a character who prefers certain terminology, that’s the terminology you use. 

Here’s what I can suggest.  Don’t focus as much on the parts of the body you’re writing, and focus much, much more on the sensations you’re creating.  There is a mouth on your POV character’s penis - how does that feel to them? Is it: hot, tight, wet, is there something happening with the tongue, are they sucking really hard, are they going really deep?  Alternatively - is the non-POV character enthusiastic? Are they into it? Is how into it they are super hot to the receiving character? Are they sloppy but determined? Beyond the physical sensation, how about emotional reactions? Has your POV character never had this before, or has no one ever treated them with such tender care? Is it the best blowjob they’ve ever received? The worst? (This can still be hot - can the POV character give them careful, precise instructions on how to do it better? Does the non-POV character find THAT extremely hot?). 

Keep in mind that you’re not writing technical directions for the characters in your scene.  (Unless you are, because you’ve discovered Gentle!Dom!Bucky, who is telling Praise!Kink!Clint exactly what to do.) You’re writing a scene that conveys something emotional to the reader.  Is it a sexy emotion? Yes, yes it is. It might also be a sad emotion, or a happy one, or any of the range of human emotions, really, but the point is that readers probably know how the sex works mechanically, what you’re trying to do is give them feelings about it.

Speaking of Feelings

Let’s talk a little bit about motivation.  Yes, even sex scenes need motivation. Not to be the prima donna actor over here, but ask yourself: Why am I writing a sex scene? 

Generally speaking, well-written sex scenes are better received if they accomplish a goal.  Writing a sex scene well is easier if you have this goal in mind before you ever sit down in front of your computer.

Does this scene advance the story? By this I mean: is this an emotional resolution, does it convey something about the characters’ relationship that cannot be conveyed in another venue or does it better express that aspect of their relationship, does it have meaning beyond the immediate gratification of an orgasm or add to the fic in some way?

Does this scene advance the relationship? Is it a big step for one or both characters? Are you showing vulnerability/trust/compassion/concern/etc? Is it an emotional milestone? Is it an expression of love that one of the characters can’t make with words but can demonstrate physically?

I’m going to pull some very specific examples from my own work, helpfully crowdsourced and reviewed by a trusted friend so that I can talk more clearly about what I mean.

Russian Red: if you haven’t read this one, it’s a story about Bucky wearing lipstick and then giving Clint a blow job. That’s it, that’s the fic. When I put it like that, it doesn’t sound all that exciting, really, and maybe it doesn’t even sound like something you’d like. A man wearing lipstick may not be your thing!! That’s okay! (And as an aside, people enjoy reading/writing things that they have absolutely zero interest in in real life, and that’s okay! Fantasies are weird like that, and a normal part of human sexuality, and we aren’t judging anyone for their kinks here.) But this fic employs very specifically some of the points I’ve made so far, so I want to talk a little about it, especially foreplay and emotional investment. 

Bucky wearing lipstick in this fic is not about Bucky at all.  It is explicitly about fulfilling a fantasy for Clint.  In fact, later in the fic, Bucky has a moment of insecurity about it because he had what he thought was a great idea, and in the moment of truth it becomes a bit of screaming panic because what if the whole thing is stupid!!!! We’ve all had that moment.  So readers can relate. But also - throughout the course of the fic it becomes something that Bucky also enjoys and finds sexy.  So there are multiple motivators: emotional satisfaction for Bucky because he’s doing something for Clint, physical satisfaction for Clint because he is getting his fantasy fulfilled, and then the added bonus of Bucky finding the whole thing unexpectedly hot means that he is also satisfied by the encounter.  I have created an emotional need that is satisfied through porn.

Emotional investment (also known as the character is putting in work).  Bucky goes through a lot to make this fantasy happen.  He has to tell Natasha what he’s doing for one thing, which is uncomfortable. A little bit of character discomfort makes the payoff at the end better, because your reader is invested in your character having a good outcome! It also shows that Bucky cares about Clint more than he cares about the mild discomfort/vulnerability of asking Natasha about lipstick for a mildly kinky thing he’s doing.

Foreplay - the more invested Bucky gets in doing this thing for Clint, the more he starts to find it hot and exciting, the more like foreplay it becomes, which means the payoff in the end is that much better. (Revisit the point on preparation from earlier!).  There is a lot of build up from the moment Bucky puts the lipstick on (tactile sensations, memories tied to lipstick, etc.) to the moment he leaves the very first red imprint of his mouth on Clint’s skin and realizes oh shit, this is hot.

This fic is very, very close, tight third-person POV.  Keeping the POV so close and tight means that your reader is very much in your POV character’s head - the reader is getting their experiences (emotional, physical, tactile senses) but they’re only able to interpret the other characters’ motivations and reactions through the lens of your POV character.  It’s trickier writing, but it means the reader is more connected to the character and therefore the porn. Also, it means that the reader is much more in tune with the non-POV characters’ reactions, which means incoherent mess is just that much hotter.

Personal Security/Security Failure: So these fics are… their own claim to fame in fandom. Gentle!Dom!Bucky and Praise!Kink!Clint have sexy, sexy adventures.  The first fic is their first meeting, the second one is fondly known as Circus Spanking. If you haven’t read them, that’s the basic summary, but please mind the tags if you choose to explore this series. Here we’re going to hit on consent, which is important and sexy, and vulnerability/trust. 

Again it’s very close, 3rd person POV, which means you’re very much in Clint’s head when he’s a wrecked, incoherent mess.  In the previous fic Bucky was watching the incoherency happen, which is very hot. In this fic the reader is experiencing the incoherency.  There’s also a lot of buildup in the first fic of Clint experiencing this inexplicable attraction to Bucky, and the confusion he has that Bucky is equally attracted to him - so like foreplay, you’re building it up before they ever take their clothes off.

Consent.  If you are dabbling anywhere in the kink neighborhood I cannot express to you how important it is to include explicit consent.  Please get a kink sensitivity reader. Don’t surprise your audience with dubious consent - make it clear and explicit from the start, even if it’s consensual nonconsent (which is a tag, but can also be addressed early with a line like ‘this is something they’d talked about previously’). But also! Consent can be sexy! It can be fun! It doesn’t have to be a drawn out contract of hard limits and detailed diagrams (though I have seen that done and done well!). Consent can be as simple as checking in with a partner if they’ve gone quiet or seem so wrecked they can’t express themselves. Consent can be one character telling another exactly what they’re going to do to them (hot hot hot!!), asking if they’re okay with it, and then doing exactly what they said.

Vulnerability/trust. Just like with the previous fic, vulnerability adds a sense of emotional intimacy that can be super hot.  If you’re writing kinky fic, vulnerability and trust go hand in hand, and show how deeply invested characters can be in each other - and that they respect and care for one another as well.  One character making themselves vulnerable to another with the understanding that the other character isn’t going to take advantage of that trust can be supernova hot if you employ it correctly. The key here is making sure that the character in the position of power respects the vulnerable character’s boundaries.  Security Failure in specific sets up an emotional need (increased trust) that is fulfilled physically by the porn that follows.  Clint needs to trust Bucky more, and Bucky needs to know that Clint trusts him.  Clint making himself super vulnerable in this fic lets both of these needs be fulfilled.

 Interactions outside the bedroom compared to interactions inside the bedroom.  In this fic, I chose to have these mirror each other - Bucky is in control of himself and in command of the situation in all of their interactions, so before they ever get naked you know what to expect from the dynamic. What can also be fun, however, is subverting expectations, so that how characters interact outside the bedroom is very different from how they interact inside the bedroom - so this is another time when knowing what your characters want/prefer is important motivation for your writing!

Character moments in your porn - there’s a scene in the first fic where Clint (this is all Clint POV) thinks about how much he likes performing a certain act, because it makes him feel good and useful.  It’s a very short interaction but it tells you a lot about the character - it tells you he likes to be useful, that he likes to be considered good (hello praise kink!), and it tells you he has low self-esteem which makes you want to wrap him up and a blanket and tuck him in and tell him how good and useful he is, but you also want Bucky to wreck him.  Your characters still have characterization, even during porn. In the second fic, we see character growth that mirrors growth within the relationship, but there’s still room to grow because Clint is still uncertain and insecure, and the fic helps advance their relationship to a new level of trust.  Through porn.

Communication, communication, communication.  Especially in kink fic but honestly in most porn - your characters have to communicate with each other! It can be nonverbal, but you’ve gotta make it clear to the reader.

The Big Finish

Everyone came (or maybe they didn’t), now what CB?

Oof, good question. 

To be honest, endings are the hardest (ha!) part.  And luckily, we’re going to have a Workshop specifically about how best to accomplish them! But as far as sexy scenes and how to wrap them up and move on, I like to use resolution of whatever need I was trying to meet, and then open the next scene with something that demonstrates a new level of intimacy/relationship dynamic/etc. if it’s part of a larger storyline, or just fade to black if it’s a one-shot. 

I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but this also depends on your motivation for writing your sex scene.  If you were trying to accomplish something with the story, then you need to somehow demonstrate that goal has been met - are they more comfortable around each other now, are they happier to show off their relationship to their friends, are they finally admitting they’re in a relationship? If you were trying to accomplish something with the relationship itself (which, as you can see, may go hand in hand with the story), then how can you show that? Does the one who usually leaves finally fall asleep in the other person’s arms? Is there a big flowery declaration? Does someone crymax? Does one partner tenderly clean the other partner up with a warm cloth and snuggle them into submission? The world is your oyster! Do what feels right for your characters and the journey you’re taking them on! 

And don’t forget the lube. 

[jacksothereye]

For the screenshot artists out there concerned about engagement - I would like to offer the perspective that this happens to people who write and draw, too. OC content in particular is incredibly hard to find traction for. This isn't about devaluing the time it takes for screenshots - you can absolutely track how a good screen of a canon NPC can take off, vs a good screen of a character people aren't familiar with. This is how the internet is. Strangers don't care about the time you spent on anything. They are looking for things that resonate with them as they engage in the endless scroll.

I have played the tumblr game of engagement before. If you are looking for thoughtful interactions with your followers/following — you have to network. You have to start being the engagement you wanna see. You gotta reach out and tell people what they are doing is good. You gotta ask about people's characters. You need to show people that you are more than a mysterious unreachable presence on the internet just posting things up in your own think tank.

And the result of this? It's not going to be guaranteed follows. It's not a catch all win to hundreds of notes. What it is, is a way to connect to the people in your community. And if you can find even a couple people willing to talk to you about your characters, art, etc - you have just found something more fulfilling than a Like, or a Reblog.

In most cases, Likes and Reblogs mean someone looked at your content for a few seconds, and then forgot about it. Try to recall everything you Liked today. Yesterday. Last week. Do you remember everything? The drawing that you saved to your phone because you *did* wanna remember it - did you tell the artist you did that? Do we see what we're getting at here?

We're here because we're really passionate about some media, folks. If you're gonna be spending hours on taking screenshots, you need to make sure that it's how you wanted to spend your time and that you had fun doing it - because at the end of the day, you can't give strangers the power to validate your art. Yes it feels good when it's recognized. But in the way that Likes are fleeting, so is that sense of validation. It is never going to feel like enough, and that is never going to go away unless you find a way to not let it carry so much power.

I like this tiny screenshot community I'm in. I don't have it in me to network much anymore, but I'm also lucky to have a couple close friends who we can talk about our work/characters with. That's where I get my creative fulfillment, because Being Seen just doesn't hit as nice as being in a conversation.

It always feels like that is something that everyone is just on the cusp of doing on tumblr. I get that, it's hard to put yourself out there. I'm just saying that in this endless game of "hey guys please look at my OC content!“ you have the choice of soldering on and hoping the algorithm is kind, soldiering on and damn the Notes all to hell, orrrr be the engagement you want to see and try to foster/create a more open environment where those more meaningful interactions can happen.

The beauty of the choice, is there is no correct one in an objective sense. You gotta do what you gotta do so at the end of the day you can feel happy with your work. And while I am but a stranger on the internet, this is my personal wish for you. I want you all to be happy with what you are doing. I want y'all to be nerdy as fuck about your characters. I want to see you keep making content. I want your characters and your creative skills to fucking flourish.

Keep creating, keep screening, keep writing, keep drawing. Do it for your stories. Do it for your characters. Do it because it's going to be amazing to look back on one day and live through the little narratives you left yourself. You are doing good work, y'all, and there's no amount of likes that can make that more or less true.

[numberonephantompizza1]

Poppy Fanfic: “Ask Her”

For context: This is a fanfic I wrote in order to join the Poppy Milk dev team and show off my writing skills. Since the callout at the time said we’d need to write a lot of sidequests, I wanted to ask the question of what a Poppy-centered side-quest would be like. I got the idea that it would be from an Asker’s perspective, and everything sort of came naturally after that. Even though I’m on the dev team right now, it’s not canon to Omega Timeline: Poppy’s Story and even has some inaccuracies that contradict canon. With that said, please feel free to read the story below the cut.

---

You noticed something very different inside your room when you woke up. The lights were off and the sun hadn’t yet risen, but there was a certain… aura, coming from your door. You were filled with a certain trepidation, but… you approached it. It was hard to see in the light, but it looked… grey. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stepped through...

...and found about the last person you would’ve expected. The spitting image of Frisk - CORE!Frisk, that was, looking up at you, in the middle of a white void.

“Wh- You’re real?!” you asked, dumbfounded.

“Of course I’m real. Have you been taking all this multiverse stuff for granted? Everything is real somewhere,” Core answered, simply. 

“I… I don’t… and you, me…” you panted, starting to feel a small panic attack coming on.

“Focus,” Core snapped their fingers, grounding you back in reality. Okay, this was happening now.

“Let’s get down to business. Simply: you don’t like me. And I don’t like you. But we BOTH like Poppy. Poppy, my dear, sweet angel… has unfortunately recently come to the realization that Askers ALSO exist in the multiverse. And now she wants to do a ‘meet n’ greet’ with one of her fans. Trust me, I TRIED to talk her out of it, but she can be darn persuasive when she wants to be. And as you’re now realizing, that’s where you come in. 

“I wanna make you a deal. You play along with whatever Poppy wants until she gets bored of this. If you’re on your best behavior - and that means, don’t give her anything bad, don’t tell her anything you KNOW she shouldn’t know, don’t use any magic, and be a general good influence - if you play nice, in exchange, I will allow you to hang out with ANY resident of the Omega Timeline. 

“Want to spend a day full of wacky hijinks with a Papyrus, or even an Underswap Sans? Consider it done. Want to know how Deltarune Chapter 2 plays out ahead of time? I know a Susie with your name on it. Whatever you want, so long as you play by the rules, and don’t ask for anyone obviously ridiculous. So… do we have ourselves a deal?”

You contemplated that offer, and everything that was happening, trying to suppress your inner urge to geek out for just a few moments. The Omega Timeline, Poppy, and all the AU’s you could think of and more were real. And you just got an invitation to visit them.

“Yeah, of course!” you nodded excitedly, though your enthusiasm only seemed to make Core more anxious.

“Don’t make me regret this…” Core sighed, as the whiteness seemed to melt away into a cozy-looking house with wooden floors and lime walls, where you were standing directly outside of a white door. Core seemed to have disappeared.

Technically, there was nothing stopping you from exploring. So you did just that. You walked up to a shelf with some family photos. One was a photo of Poppy, Core, Dusted and Rust all together, in some meadow, looking happy. At least, you assumed Dusted and Rust were happy, they didn’t show up well on camera. There was another photo of Poppy alone, looking somewhat younger than she did on the blog, seated on a chair in a photo that looked far more staged. She held an actual poppy flower in her hand and smiled brightly.

You opened the cabinet doors, curious of what knick-knacks you might find in there. Some crayons, a few random glass cups, some art by 3-year-old Poppy that was so poorly done its meaning was hard to decipher, and a locked box. You reached for the box--

“Getting a bit sidetracked, aren’t we?”

You jolted up, and faced Core behind you. Even though they were child-sized, they crossed their arms with the poise and authority of a stern parent. You laughed anxiously. “Ahahaha… ahaha… ha……..”

“...Strike one.” Core said, and vanished. The meaning of that was all-too clear. Deciding not to dilly dally any longer, you went to the room you suspected to be Poppy’s, and knocked. 

“Just a sec!” Poppy said, and opened the door. She looked up at you, and gasped. “Wow, Granpa really did come through…!” She twirled excitedly. “You must be my adoring fan, aren’t you?” she asked.

You stared down at the girl in stunned silence.

“To be honest, I kinda figured you’d be some gray guy with sunglasses, but that’s kinda silly in hindsight. How you doin’?” She asked that last line in a mock accent as you continued to stare.

“Baby,” you said.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you quickly tried to change the subject. “Yeah, it’s… y’know, it’s great to be here…” You clasped your hands together, biting your lip. You were in an Undertale AU, faced with the AU granddaughter of another AU character. You still weren’t entirely over that. Was this fever dream? Fandom heaven, or fandom hell?

“I know! Once I heard you guys weren’t from the Omega Timeline, I realized I hadn’t met even ONE of my fans… even if you guys are super annoying some of the time.” 

“Uhhh, yeah…” you wondered if you should apologize on behalf of the askers who put Poppy in the hospital that one time. Then again, it seemed kind of awkward, and it might have been best not to bring that up while Core was watching, which was always. Looking down at the cutesy girl, it was almost tempting to pull her into a hug, but you managed to keep your composure. 

“I wanted to do something a little more special than just some sorta interview, though, because you ask me questions all the time anyways,” Poppy said. “Granpa said you’ve never been to the Omega Timeline before, so I wanna give you the big tour!” Poppy went to the door. “I’m gonna be outside when you’re ready!” She left the room.

Seeing the empty room in front of you, you were tempted to snoop again, but you’d learned your lesson after last time. You headed straight out after Poppy.

You couldn’t help but gasp in awe of the serenity of the great outdoors as you were beckoned to it. You’d been outside before, obviously, but everything just looked so… nice. The blue sky, the grassy grounds, the ornate buildings… you’ve seen this place in pixel art and a couple drawings before, but seeing it with your own eyes was another story. And the next thing for you to nearly faint at was seeing the Undertale characters running around, Sanses, Undynes, Frisks, even goat moms. 

Poppy smiled. “...It’s nice, isn’t it? I KNEW taking you on a tour was a good idea.” She smirked. “Now remember, just because this is a meet-up doesn’t mean it’s free, and there WILL be a fee at the end of our ride.”

“...Uh… I left my wallet at home,” you said, patting your pockets, “And I don’t have any, uh... ‘G,’ I think. Unless the G stands for ‘Gratitude,’ amiright?” you did finger guns.

“G stands for Gold,” Poppy corrected you bluntly, unamused. She returned to her chipper attitude just as quickly, though. “Now, let me show you around!” She led you down the street. 

Walking with her, seeing so many versions of your favorite characters in the flesh, walking around… well, the temptation to talk to SOME of them was irresistible, Core be damned. You did resolve not to go too far off-track, but you shared some words with the folks you passed by, Poppy thankfully stopping each time you did. You met two Frisks - one boy, one ambiguous - an Underswap Undyne, a human version of Toriel, and surprisingly, a version of Princess Peach.

You and Poppy approached an elegant fountain, stood upon proudly by a statue of a mustachio’d CORE!Frisk. “This is the Timeline Plaza! It’s sort of the local park, where people meet up to do... stuff. Just hang out. Make a picnic. Play ball. All that good park-y stuff, y’know? And there’s stores in all directions, so it’s pretty good.” She proudly showed off her home to you, with a smile.

You talked to more on the way to the next place. An Inverted Fate Papyrus. A weird Ralsei who said his name was “Noyno.” An Asgore wearing a hoodie, who you assumed was swapped with Sans. (Poppy did scold you a little bit for this, telling you that just because someone has a hoodie you shouldn’t assume they’re swapped. You apologized.)

“This is Grillby’s! One of them, anyways. The nearest one to my house. It’s pretty good if you want an OK burger. Sanses love the place, though. It’s… kind of unhealthy. And a little gross.” Poppy said. “Especially when they just drink… raw… ketchup.”

“Can’t handle a little ketchup?” you smiled mischievously. “We drink it by the gallon back in my universe,” you lied.

“...I really hope you’re joking,” Poppy said, alarmed.

“Am I?” you smiled brighter.

“...W-well, we’re not going in there, so you can FORGET about drinking that much ketchup!” Poppy said, afraid of the sheer power of your ketchup-drinking.

You and Poppy moved onto the next spot. You met an Underswap Alphys who seemed to be trapped in a red-and-gold palette. You met a robot dressed as a circus ringmaster, who claimed to be a Chara. You met a Dummy dressed in a Frisk shirt. (You didn’t assume it was swapped with Frisk this time, which turned out to be a mistake, because it was.) Poppy stared at you awkwardly now, wondering why you were talking to all these random strangers. Finally, you and Poppy reached your next destination.

“The theater! Where we show off all the greatest hits! Including MY movie, which, not to brag, but it’s--”

Except, you’d been distracted by a hyperdeath Asriel, and were ignoring Poppy for the moment.

“...” Poppy spoke up. “That’s what I don’t get about you.”

“Huh?” that seemed to wake you up, and you looked at her. 

“Everytime it’s always, ‘have you met Underswap Sans,’ or ‘have you met JangoTale Frisk,’ or some other weird thing. You always ask that. But… they’re just people. Why do you always assume I know some random Sans or Frisk or someone?”

“I…” you were a bit taken aback. “...I don’t… we don’t assume you know them, they’re just… they’re just important.” 

“Important?” She asked. “...I-I mean, yeah, EVERYONE’s important, but, I don’t really get what you mean…”

“They’re all--” You paused, trying to collect your thoughts, think of everything you knew from the blog, and tried to actually talk to her. “...They’re like friends to me. Kinda.”

“...You guys are friends with them? I thought you were stuck in your world…” she frowned.

“No, it’s like-- I’m not ‘friends’ with Underswap Frisk, or-- or Storyshift Frisk, or Shifty or whatever, I’m just friends with… Frisk.”

...Poppy stared at you like you just said the ground was turning to jelly, or something equally bafflingly inane. “...I… think you’re confused. Look, sometimes newcomers struggle with this. Your Frisk isn’t the only Frisk--”

“I know! It’s… You don’t get it. This world, these worlds are so special and creative, and they mean a lot to me. I know we can be really edgy, and I know we ask weird questions about Dusted and Rust, but that’s all because… because...” you paused.

Poppy looked, seeming upset about hearing her siblings mentioned in the context of ‘edgy’ questions, not seeing what you were seeing. Core, standing behind her, holding up a hand signal.

The number two.

You were getting carried away. You overstepped.

“...Um… I’m sorry.” You pulled her into a hug as Core vanished. “There’s really no reason for us to ask those questions. We can just be dumb sometimes.”

“...” She hugged back. “Yeah, it’s okay. I knew you guys were super weird and dumb before I convinced Granpa to let you in here, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming,” Poppy smiled, regaining her confidence as you did your best to not be offended at being called weird and dumb.

“Okay! I think I have just one last stop in mind to cap this tour off on a high note! Literally, hehehe…” She giggled mischievously. This time, you didn’t stop to talk to others, following her directly as you approached a peak overlooking the town. For yet another time, and probably the last, you couldn’t help but ogle at the town’s beauty. “Pretty good, right?” She sat down.

“Ha… with all the climbing, I was worried we’d fall down a mountain,” you joked. Poppy seemed to roll her eyes, as you sat beside her. “...I guess I get how you can call this place home. I mean, once I stop nerding out, anyways. You don’t see stuff like this in my… reality.”

“Just gallons and gallons of ketchup, huh?” she commented. You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah.”

And you two just stared into the distance for a while. ...She wasn’t just a character. She was a human being.

...Or, technically just a ‘being,’ scratch the human part. Still, you felt a bit desensitized to all this. And so did she. You related in that way.

“I can’t say you exactly passed with flying colors, but you fulfilled your end of the agreement well enough.”

Without any warning, you were back in a white void with CORE!Frisk, just like before. You almost forgot about the deal you made, what with all the time you spent with Poppy. You stood.

“Uh… yeah. So, my reward…” you drifted off, remembering the offer Core gave you. The chance to meet just about any AU character of your imagining… or at least, any that would be peaceful enough to be in the Omega Timeline. Which still left a WIDE variety of options…

Who did you want to see? What mattered most to you?

...

Thinking deeply… you told Core their name.

“...Oh. Really? Well, I guess it makes sense for you that you’d want to see them,” Core remarked. “I can’t guarantee they’ll give you what you’re looking for, but a deal’s a deal. Let’s head off.”

You and Core went somewhere else.

---

And that’s all she wrote! If you read this far, thank you. Working on the game since then has been fun, and I think you’ll like what we have in store. Until then, ciao.

[myfanwymusings]

TAYLOR SWIFT / EVERMORE

The following is a collection of lyric sentence starters from Taylor Swift’s ninth studio album evermore. Some lyrics have been slightly modified for ease of role-playing. Feel free to change any tense or pronouns. May contain mature content. This has been reposted from my old blog.

WILLOW

I’m rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife

If it was an open-shut case I never would have known from the look on your face

Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

I'm begging for you to take my hand

I'm begging for you

I can feel you sneaking in

There was one prize I'd cheat to win

They count me out time and time again

Anywhere else is hollow

That's my man

I come back stronger than a '90s trend

Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

I'll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

This is an open-shut case

I should’ve known from the look on your face

Hey, that's my man

Yeah, that's my man  

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

You booked the night train for a reason

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

You told your family for a reason

You dropped my hand while dancing, left me out there standing

Love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

This dorm was once a madhouse

Well, it's made for me

Soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

I never was ready so I watch you go

She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head

Sometimes you just don't know the answer til someone's on their knees and asks you

You won't remember all my champagne problems  

GOLD RUSH

I don't like a gold rush

I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

I can't dare to dream about you anymore

My mind turns your life into folklore

I won't call you out on your contrarian shit

‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON

If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

But if it's all the same to you it's the same to me

You could call me "babe" for the weekend

We could call it even

Remember how you watched me leave

You can run, but only so far

And the road not taken looks real good now

Hear me out, we could just ride around

The road not taken looks real good now and it always leads to you in my hometown

I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay

I wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking'

The heart I know I'm breaking' is my own

Even though I'm leaving' and I'll be yours for the weekend

​'Tis the damn season

TOLERATE IT

I notice everything you do or don't do

You're so much older and wiser

If it's all in my head tell me now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

I take your indiscretions all in good fun

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky - now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins?

Believe me, I could do it

NO BODY, NO CRIME

He did it

Her husband's actin' different, and it smells like infidelity

That ain't my Merlot on his mouth. That ain't my jewelry on our joint account

I think I'm gonna call him out

No, there ain't no doubt

I think he did it, but I just can't prove it

No body, no crime

I ain't letting' up until the day I die

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

She was with me, dude

They think she did it, but they just can't prove it

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

I wasn't letting' up until the day he died

HAPPINESS

I see this for what it is

All the years I've given is just shit we're dividing' up

I can't face reinvention

There will be happiness after you

There was happiness because of you

Haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime

Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk?

I hope she'll be your beautiful fool, who takes my spot next to you

No, I didn't mean that

Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury

You haven't met the new me yet

There will be happiness after me

There was happiness because of me

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties

No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him, too

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that?

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness. You haven't met the new me yet and I think she'll give you that

DOROTHEA

Do you ever stop and think about me?

A tiny screen's the only place I see you now

I got nothing but well-wishes for ya

This place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it that way

It's never too late to come back to my side

You're a queen selling' dreams, selling' makeup and magazines

From you I'd buy anything

But are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers?

I guess I'll never know

If you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you'll always know me.

CONEY ISLAND

If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?

And if this is the long haul how'd we get here so soon?

Did I close my fist around something delicate?

Did I shatter you?

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

What's a lifetime of achievement if I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me?

Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

We were like the mall before the internet

Were you waiting at our old spot: in the tree line by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

When I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face

IVY

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand

I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

I'd live and die for moments that we stole

What would he do if he found us out?

Dare to sit and watch what we'll become

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it

It's the goddamn fight of my life and you started it  

COWBOY LIKE ME

Dancing' is a dangerous game

I'm never gonna love again  

I've got some tricks up my sleeve

Takes one to know one

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

You're a cowboy like me

I’m telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

You're a bandit like me

Never thought I'd meet you here

We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

The old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

Forever is the sweetest con  

LONG STORY SHORT

I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me

I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides

Long story short, it was a bad time

If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break

I clung to the nearest lips and long story short, it was the wrong guy

Now I'm all about you

Actually, I always felt I must look better in the rear view - missing me.

If someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

No more keeping' score, now I just keep you warm

Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things

Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

He feels like home

Long story short, I survived  

MARJORIE

Never be so kind you forget to be clever

Never be so clever you forget to be kind

If I didn't know better I'd think you were talking to me now

If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around

You're alive in my head

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

Never be so polite you forget your power

Nevеr wield such power you forget to be polite

I should've asked you questions

Should've kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

I know better but you're still around

I still feel you all around  

CLOSURE

It's been a long time and seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain

Yes, I'm doing better

I don't need your closure

Yes, I got your letter

Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled

I'm fine with my spite and my tears, and my beers and my candles

I know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life

Staying friends would iron it out so nice

EVERMORE

Gray November, I've been down since July

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong

I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore

Guess I'm feeling unmoored

Can't remember what I used to fight for

Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost

To be certain, we'll be tall again

Is there a line that I could just go cross?

And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you

It was real enough to get me through

I dreamed of you

I swear you were there

I had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn't be for evermore  

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

Friends break up

I'm right where you left me

Help

I'm still at the restaurant

I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

What a sad sight...

I felt the moment stop

They expected me to find perspective

Everybody moved on, but I stayed there

You left me no choice

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everyone else

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Breakups happen every day

I was still the one you wanted

If our love died young, I can't bare witness

If you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me

IT'S TIME TO GO

He's insisting that friends look at each other like that

The words of a sister come back in whispers

She's a crook that was caught

She was not in fact what she seemed

You know when it's time to go

Twenty years at that job, then the boss of the son gets the spot....

Keeping it how it was will only break hearts worse

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing

Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

Sometimes to run is the brave thing

I gave my all

He gave me nothing at all

He's got my past frozen behind glass but I've got me

You will know in your soul that it's time to go

[jbuffyangel]

Something To Live For: Arrow 1x10 Review (Burned)

I’m back! 

There’s a significant time difference between my 1x09 review and this review. No, I did not take a six year long holiday break. It just became too difficult to complete the Season 1 reviews the summer prior to Season 4. So, I decided to complete Season 1 and Season 2 reviews once Arrow was off air.

This means I have not watched 1x10-1x23 in eight years. I nearly forgot everything. Is L*urel still in this show?

She sure is.

“Burned” is the first real snoozer of Season 1, which kind of sets up the tradition of episode 10-15 slumps Arrow suffered nearly every season.  This has less to do with Arrow and more to do with it being a twenty three episode series. There’s gonna be some filler.

This episode still holds significant meaning to me though because it contains the SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR speech. This is my favorite John Diggle speech, which is why I named my blog after it. It is also the first time Arrow declares their mission statement.

Let’s dig in...

Oliver and Diggle

The bad guy plot is the worst part of “Burned,” so let’s just cut to the chase. There was a terrible fire in Starling City years ago. The fire chief recalled his unit but one of his men, Garfield Lynns, insisted the building could be saved. The chief refused to send in any more men and as a result Lynns died. Except, this is Arrow and nobody stays dead. Lynns is alive, ticked, insane and burning firefighters, which leads to Joanna’s brother (a firefighter) getting killed.

Cool? Cool. Moving on.

Oliver is having difficulty coping with the fact the Dark Archer kicked his ass all the way back to the stone age. It was a somewhat embarrassing loss and Oliver’s body wasn’t the only thing bruised. We are gifted a very lovely training sequences of a half naked and very sweaty Oliver Queen to show he is recovered, so his hesitancy isn’t physical. It is mental.

Source: @olivergifs​

Oliver is having a crisis of confidence and is avoiding suiting up like the plague.

Diggle: This guy, the other archer, he got in your head. He took something from you … he took whatever’s in your heart that lets you jump off buildings and take down bad guys.

Oliver worked for every skill he has. It was not gifted by a bolt of lightning. He does not come from an alien planet. Oliver is a weapon honed over time, which includes his superpower. 

Oliver Queen does not fear dying. 

That’s the “whatever” in his heart which gives him the confidence to jump off buildings. This superpower was honed after five years of fighting for survival. Oliver almost died so many times he’s built some kind of emotional immunity to it. It doesn’t freak him out like it would the rest of us.

The darker side of this superpower is Oliver doesn’t care if he lives or dies. Season 1 Oliver Queen is very fatalistic. He’s not suicidal, but he’s accepted death is the price he may have to pay in order to complete his mission. More importantly, he is drowning in guilt and believes death is the ending he deserves.

There’s rigidity in everything about Oliver – from his beliefs to even the way he moves. His posture is rod iron straight and there’s very little movement in his upper body and arms. It’s a physical manifestation of his PTSD. It’s like he’s encased in a brick wall, a tomb of suffering, which makes it difficult to breathe or move. It’s like the act of living is physically painful.

The problem is - Oliver came home and it is having an unexpected emotional impacted on him. He’s been laser focused on this mission, but bit by bit, the feelings he’s long since buried are resurfacing.  Moira, Thea, Tommy, Diggle, Laurel (AND FELICITY) are chipping away at this brick wall. Oliver didn’t adopt this machine like persona because he doesn’t feel anything. It’s because he feels so much, which means even the small holes in this wall are having a profound impact on him.

This all leads to the greatest John Diggle speech in history! Yes, I say that knowing full well Diggle has spectacular speeches throughout the series, but this will always be my favorite because it’s such a universal theme. 

We all must have something that makes life worth living.  This “something” is not limited to romantic love. It can be family, or work or a cause – basically whatever makes you get out of bed every day. It doesn’t have to be just one thing either. In fact, I hope you find many things/people to live for because that means you are living a full and connected life. By that same token, if you don’t have something to live for then you’re not really living. You just exist.

Or in Oliver’s case - survive. He’s known nothing but survival for the last five years. I think he absolutely cares for Yao Fei, Shado and Slade, but that’s exactly why Oliver shut down. He did care for people and it led to nothing but heartache, betrayal and loss. So, Oliver decided to be done with all that and has worked very hard to keep his loved ones at a distance ever since returning home.

He’s been extremely successful at it in many ways because Oliver refuses to share who he really is with anyone outside of John Diggle. So, that’s why it had to be John Diggle to tell him that it was okay to feel again.

Oliver: I’ve been close to death on the island more times than I can remember and I never feared it. Because I had nothing to lose. But when that archer almost killed me, when I stared death in the face then, I thought about all the people I’ve let into my life since I’ve been back – my family, Laurel, Tommy. And that made me afraid. Afraid of what would happen to those people if they lost me. Again. And for the first time in so long I had something to lose.

Oliver may not fear death, but he does fear what his death will mean to those who love him. Like I said earlier - Oliver is not suicidal. If that was true he wouldn’t have fought so hard to survive the island, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to live. He’s far from it. But this is the first time in a long time Oliver cared whether or not he died. And that scares him.  

Diggle: Maybe you’ve got it backwards Oliver. You think the people you’ve let in have taken your edge. I think it gives you one. Maybe a stronger one even. You can stare down death with something to live for or not. SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR is better.

That’s endgame folks. Oliver’s story is about a man learning to live again. He will collect more and more people/things that he cares about as he walks this road, which means there is more to lose. Losing his life is far preferable than losing someone he loves again.  Oliver can tolerate a great deal of physical pain. It’s the emotional pain that scares the crap out of him. This is why he fights tooth and nail to keep emotions at a distance. It just hurts too much.

Opening our heart to others often means opening our hearts to pain, but that’s not the only side of love. It brings happiness and contentment too. You take the good with the bad. Diggle is trying to open Oliver’s heart to the good.

Is Oliver alive? Or is he just breathing? The answers to those questions make all the difference in the world. A difference Diggle knows will make Oliver an unbeatable weapon.

Lynns: I'm not afraid to die

Oliver: I know. You're afraid to live.

COULD IT BE A PARALLEL?

Methinks yes. It’s interesting “Burned” revolves around fire. Fire is where Oliver’s story began. Lian Yu was about purification, but it was also a rebirth. 

A rebirth we see expanding as Oliver opens up his heart. A fire is lit from within our hero and it’s growing beyond penance, justice and retribution to hope, passion and enlightenment. Oliver Queen is finding reasons to live again. And it will make all the difference for his survival.

L*urel L*nce

If you sense I have less patience with L*urel’s character in Seasons 1 and Season 2 than I did in Season 3 and Season 4 then you’d be right. My opinions on this character changed radically so I’m coming into Season 1 and Season 2 reviews with a Season 8 perspective on L*urel.

Tommy wants a drawer. That’s all. A drawer. Tommy Merlyn is a simple man. Doesn’t take a lot to make him happy. He even wrote a list explaining all the reasons he deserves and needs a drawer. We never see the list, but I’d imagine it looks something like this:

I AM HUMAN PERFECTION.

I did not sleep with your sister.

I am asking for a drawer rather than run screaming to the North China Sea with above referenced sister.

I make you omelets.

I make your character moderately tolerable which is a miracle in of itself.

I could continue, but you get the idea. What’s absolutely ludicrous is OLIVER gives L*UREL relationship advice.

Oliver: Well we're friends.

Me: Oliver, my son, NO YOU ARE NOT. 

At least she had the common sense to scoff at Oliver’s friendly attempt to intervene on Tommy’s behalf. (Seriously, dude just stay out of it. This is wildly inappropriate.)

L*urel was ready to move in with Oliver (even though she knew he cheated on her regularly), but freaks at faithful Tommy requesting armoire access. JFC this woman is a dating disaster zone.

L*urel: I don’t take things slow remember? I close my eyes and I jump just like you. 

My initial reaction to this speech is to call it nonsense. 

I thought this was a case of Arrow telling rather than showing with L*urel’s character. However, upon further contemplation I have reversed my opinion.

L*urel may be a pragmatic attorney on the surface, but we have watched her run the gamut of human emotions week to week. So much so it’s difficult to get a read on the character the writers are trying to construct. (Spoiler alert: they don’t know what kind of character they are trying to construct). One week she loves Oliver. The next week she’s condemning him to hell. L*urel L*nce’s feelings definitely control her.

She has been reckless too, working outside the law, by contacting the vigilante for assistance. A relationship she resumes after telling her father in 1x09 that The Hood is a killer with no remorse. See what I’m saying about the ever changing emotional spectrum?

I’m not saying L*urel having emotions and expressing them is bad. That’s a healthier reaction than what Oliver is doing, but she has been all over the map. It’s less about who L*urel is as a character and more about the writers needing her to react a certain way to make the episode work.

Oliver likes to present himself as a cool cucumber, but he has a rather unpleasant temper too. It may seem like he’s emotionless, but that is just a façade. It’s a cover for the torrent of emotions he keeps at bay.

Laurel: I think that’s why we spooked each other. Our feelings, our fears, they control us. Not the other way around.

L*urel’s “spooking each other” statement is a big line of bull, which we’ll find out later in the season. L*urel was not spooked by Oliver. She was the furthest thing from spooked, which is why she asked him to move in with her.

Oliver wasn’t spooked either. Anytime I reflect on L*uriver I’m reminded of a scene from Sex in the City. Oliver isn’t freaked out by his feelings. He’s just not that into you, L*urel.

The process in which we get OLIVER to realize this and admit it to himself will take much longer, but I can be patient. It’s time will come.

But do I think these two characters are similar? YES. They are too similar in fact. It’s one of the main reasons they don’t work as a couple. This is exactly why Tommy and Felicity are perfect for L*urel and Oliver.  They need someone steady to temper their emotions. 

They need someone happy to balance out their anger. They need someone with a bright light in order to find their own.

It’s also worth noting that Tommy was ready to run into a burning building to save Oliver so GIVE HIM A DAMN DRAWER L*UREL.

Stray Thoughts

Flashbacks were kind of boring. Fyers kidnaps Yao Fei. Oliver saves his own life by accident. Meh

Thea calling Moira out was long overdue. This kid needs a parent ASAP.

Everyone's fall clothing is really adorable.

JUST UNBUTTON THE FRACKIN BUTTON OLLIE.

Merlyn kidnapped Walter right? Or Moira? I seriously don't remember. I don’t think I care either. lol

L*urel: I am not the best example of healthy grieving.

LL has a rare moment of self awareness, which is lovely.

Oliver: I heard what you said to your father. That I'm a killer with no remorse.

L*urel: Do you?

Me: You impertinent little snot.

I like Joanna much better than L*urel and I wished she stayed, but removing Joanna from the show is the first step the writers took to limit L*urel's role. The shift is upon us.

  Not to be unsympathetic, but Moira is starting to rack up the dead husbands.

Thea fantasizing that Walter is cheating on Moira with a stewardess as the hopeful pitch is YIKES. Goodness this show could be dark.

Musings of the Kiddo  

Kiddo: Yeah! He's actually putting his family first!

Me: Settle down. It doesn't last long.

Kiddo: I thought L*urel was gonna find out.

Me: Oh my sweet summer child.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[homestuckexamination]

Selfish Vs Unselfish

Jesus. Yeah I have nothing to comment here, I’m going to read this later when I haven’t just woken up.

You know the drill. Put it under ‘Read More’. A matter of perspective it can be, but there can be an objective truth to sort that out. Let me e x p a n d on this matter using Homestuck and some philosophy. And for those who missed the last ask on Active/Passive divide, please do remember that these labels are on a continuum, not strictly boxed categories. “UNSELFISH” or UNSELFISH - The passive classes lean more to this. How? By being group-oriented. Like support classes in RPGs, their asset comes mainly from a drive to benefit others. Roxy is one of the best examples of this. While she was passive-aggressive in her pursuit of romance, she is ultimately willing to put her self aside and bettering herself if that meant making sure the group stays together. She does this by, to quote Dirk, never turning the tables to make a talk about her when she knows her friend needs something.

TG: i was gonna say why i finally quit drinkin TG: i mean if you want to know GG: Yes. GG: Actually, once you did stop, it made me finally realize it was a problem for you for a long time. GG: And I didn’t say anything at the time, but it made me wonder if I wasn’t doing the right thing before. GG: By failing to point out you might have a problem? Or just going along with it and participating in lively banter any time you clearly had too much to drink? GG: Was I just being a bad friend? TG: nah it wasnt your responsibility to fix my shit TG: and anyway i think i made it hard for anyone to come at me like it was a real problem TG: i was always joking around so much and havin a good time like kind of overzealously so TG: that i probably just made people feel like a shitty wet blanket for even mentioning it

She wants to be of use to her group. However, the downside to this is that, as passively Roxy can be, she often needs them as well.

TG: and now dirk knows that too and for some reason letting him down feels like the worst part?? TG: which is equally lame and weak cuz i should care for my own sake not for how it makes a dude see me but it still just really bothers me ???

TG: i didnt want her to meet a sloppy embarrassing mess of a daughter

TG: even if she did like to drink at some point it was kind of a childish idea that doing so myself would make me closer to her or help us bond or whatever TG: anyway i think i might of overestimated her drinkin habits

How would you know if a class is truly passive when a character just been a really selfish a-hole through the story? It’s how they mainly rely on others as well. Let’s use Aranea as the main example of a selfish passive Sylph of Light that tries to emulate a Thief. Aranea says that Sylph is a healer type of class that involves boosting others, even excessively. However, while she claims that she merely wants to help and shepard the Alpha timeline by taking control of it, Meenah says otherwise. What Aranea has been doing is a self-aggrandizing act to get into the spotlight and not sit on the sidelines anymore, much like her fellow Serket. Like Kanaya, she is meddlesome. She asserts that what she does is for the good of all, even if that means doing something others would object to. They don’t want that. But, she does it anyway.

At first, she complies when the recipient refuses, but when it eventually comes to her ultimate takeover plan, everyone else comes second. She may believe that she’s just granting their wishes, but her underlying motive is ultimately selfish- albeit by excessively “helping” others for her own cause. Aranea failed to learn what Mindfang did:

“8ut as I sit here deciding what to do with the damna8le little sphere, I understand my error. It was not in failing to chart a course through future events to turn my fortune’s tide, even so many sweeps from now. It was in 8elieving the future was mind to know, and fortune mine to control.”

Now let’s use Rufioh and compare him to Roxy. Both of them are Rogues. Both of them are group-oriented characters that act selfishly from time-to-time. The difference is that Rufioh is more selfish. He’s extremely affable to the point of being a doormat to please others all while trying to be polite about romantic advances despite being a flirt himself. He’s reluctant to voice his own reason that he wants to leave his matespritship with Horuss. Sounds familiar? He’s the Jake of the love triangle. Rufioh cheated on Damara and never takes responsibility from it, focusing on Damara being a crazed scorned girl.

Passive players that fail to balance supporting others and fulfilling their own desires often end up being thrown in a loop. Forcing your solution solution on others for 'their own good’ is selfish. Your concern on how others perceive you may be sprouted from your own insecurity. Whenever you make a donation to the less fortunate, how can you be certain it’s not without the purpose of staving off guilt, doing it because it simply aligns with your moral code, or because it feels good? 

AG: I decided not to, 8ecause I didn’t want to 8e the one to make you sad about it.

AG: Was that selfish of me? I dunno.

It’s a gem to see volunteers whose instincts are to help people to make life more bearable, mind you. But they’re also doing that because they want to see them better and it’s often their own desire to do so and fulfill that dream.

ENLIGHTENED VS UNENLIGHTENED SELFISHNESS

-I’ve rambled on this a bit. Here’s a recap:

*Unenlightened Selfishness is… pretty much the archetypal self-centeredness that makes people jerks. It’s whenever you do something for yourself with little to no regard to other people’s desires. It’s the greedy shark hoarding all the treasure. It’s when you try to justify your actions with a perspective of “everyone else is selfish, so I’m entitled to be an asshole to everyone too”.

*Enlightened Selfishness or Enlightened Self-Interest is the opposite. It’s when you respect that everyone has their own wants and needs by compromising and coinciding them with your own. It’s like a deal. It’s the Golden Rule. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. It’s when you do things for other people for the good you’ll get from it, even when the payment is simple politeness and being generally nice. Society expects each individual to benefit the community in turn by working. We work with the expectation that others work for us. Unlike the first, this form of self-interest benefits both parties. Another term is Selfish Altruism.

We see an exercise of selfishness burning brightly through Vriska’s arc.

(VRISKA): I’m not a loser though! (VRISKA): I LIKE who I’ve 8ecome. (VRISKA): I actually feel happy and good a8out my life for the first time in… may8e forever?? (VRISKA): Like, ACTUALLY good a8out my life in a way that feels real, instead of forced. Don’t you realize that’s what it was like for us? VRISKA: You don’t have a life! VRISKA: You’re DEAD, remem8er? VRISKA: I’m the one with the life! VRISKA: And I fully intend to use it in a relevant and constructive way to help 8ring an end to all the horri8le shit that’s 8een going on for way too long. VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing? VRISKA: No, o8viously not. VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling “happy”, and… whatever the fuck it is you’re doing here? VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful. VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??

Vriska is accusing (Vriska) for being selfish despite being selfish herself. Remember her popular hero quote?

VRISKA: I only ever wanted to do the right thing no matter how it made people judge me, and I don’t need a magic ring to do that. VRISKA: You don’t have to 8e alive to make yourself relevant. VRISKA: And you don’t have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero. VRISKA: You just have to know who you are and stay true to that. VRISKA: So I’m going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how.

VRISKA: 8y 8eing me.

And a few panels after that, she does this.

VRISKA: OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! VRISKA: OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VRISKA: WE’RE G8ING TO LOOK AT WH8T’S IN THIS CH8ST RIGHT N8W!!!!!!!! VRISKA: DO YOU HE8R ME Y8U F8CK? VRISKA: I D8DN’T SCRAPE AND CLAW MY W8Y 8ACK TO RELEV8NCE F8R THIS SHIT! VRISKA: I’M DOING S8METHING F8CKING IMPORTANT! AND WHEN I DO SOMETH8NG FUCKING IMPORT8NT, EVERY88DY 8ETTER D8MN WELL PAY ATT8NTION TO ME!!!!!!!!

Sure, her resurrection got everyone’s attention, but also annoyance. A lot of their personal problems aren’t truly solved, just put on a temporary chokehold by someone with a stubborn, assertive personality. She’s taking charge so that her team won’t be in poor condition for the big fight, but also to, well, be in the spotlight. She doesn’t care how others think of her, she just wants to help… but also because it makes her important, even if that means overpowering her friends, including her moirail Terezi. Vriska’s the active counterpart to Roxy in both class and aspect. A positive part of this is that it’s easier for Vriska and other folks like her to be self-driven.

…

What am I getting at? It’s a matter of intention. Are they doing it to mainly benefit others? Or are they acting to benefit themselves? Even if it’s grey, there’s often a tint or shade that’s lighter or darker that makes someone lean somewhere. It doesn’t matter how they see themselves and how they perceive their own actions, it’s their motivation that defines the line. Accidents don’t count. It’s the will. Looking at one’s intention is a way to objectively sift through the blurriness of it their actions, even when said intention is subconscious. You can also simply take the Active/Passive divide on strictly class roles in terms of RPG abilities alone if you’re not keen on the personalities of the bunch.

[arhvste]

TSUKISHIMA KEI - IMPOSSIBLE AND INSUFFERABLE PART 3

this is it y’all the chapter you’ve been dying for

hara bullying hour is officially in session bitches 😈

i will fix any grammar errors tomorrow my fellow simps now have fun reading about little bitch hara’s downfall

part 1 part 2

Tsukishima had exited his classroom after the last bell had rung still in the same foul mood he found himself to be trapped in as of late.

“Tsukishima!”

Hinata bounded towards the tall boy with a big smile on his face.

His foul mood had worsened in nanoseconds.

“What.” he coldly spat at the energetic ginger.

“You’re coming with me. Captain's orders.”

Tsukishima frowned and reluctantly obliged as he followed Hinata into the clubroom where Daichi was sitting on the table alone with what looked like an ipad.

Opening the door, Daichi welcomed him with a warm smile to which Tsukishima tried to reciprocate even though it was clear the clubroom was not where he wanted to be.

“Hey Tsukishima, I have a few people to talk to you right now. I need to run some errands before practice. I’ll meet you in the gym once you’re done, take as much time as you need though, I’ll see you shortly.”

“Thanks for the concern but I’m really okay.”

Daichi had already left Tsukishima and the ipad in the clubroom alone. Irritated, Tsukishima sat down on the table and picked up the ipad only to instantly pull a face of disgust.

“Why? Why you of all people.”

“And what an absolute pleasure it is to see you too Tsuki.”

There on the screen showed the captains and setters of Fukurodani and Nekoma. Bokuto sat there with a wide grin on his face, excited to be talking to one of his ‘students’ as he liked to call and next to him, Kuroo who was smiling smugly at the agitated middle blocker. Akaashi and Kenma in the background were seen keeping an eye on their captains to make sure they weren’t crossing the line of invasion for poor Tsukishima.

“Whatever you’re about to say to me I’m not interested, thanks.”

“But Tsukiiiiiiii!” Bokuto whined pouting through the camera.

“Let your wonderful and wise Senpais give you advice and take advantage of it.” Kuroo smoothly spoke, propping his hand under his chin.

“No.” Tsukishima wanted to end the call right there and then but, a small part of him felt bad for both Kenma and Akaashi having to waste their time being there too so he opted to not hit the tempting ‘end’ button just yet.

“Listen, we heard you had a rough break up and we want to give you some advice.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes before he spoke. “So enlighten me, my two most wonderful and clever senpais.” sarcasm dripping from every single word.

“See Kuroo! He does love and respect us!” Bokuto was beaming as he shook his fellow captain and friends' shoulders slightly.

“He might respect you but I can assure you Tsukishima-san is far from loving you.”

“Akaashi don’t say that!” Bokuto cried out pouting once again.

“Honestly Tsuki, you didn’t seem like the type that would suffer from heartbreak to me. Guess I was wrong.”

Tsukishima was ready to cut the rooster headed captain off right then and there but Kuroo began to speak again.

“You also didn’t seem like someone who disliked volleyball either at first but I was wrong about that too. Look, your ex-girlfriend obviously meant more to you than what you’re choosing to insist but if it’s affecting your plays I’m going to need you to do something about it. I quite enjoy playing against you simple country folk. You are good opponents I’ll give you that, but you won’t be if your playing ability starts to deteriorate.”

“Yeah what he said! Tsuki, how did you even get a girlfriend anyway? If I was a girl I’d run 7 miles from you with that mean glare. But anyway, snap out of your bad mood and go get her back if you’re still hung up on her. If she has this affect on you she must mean something to you right? Do it go get her back kid.”

“You two sure do have a lot to say for a pair of relationship virgins.” Kenma quietly spoke up.

“Kenma! If I wanted to be so brutally attacked I would’ve asked Yaku.” Kuroo feigned an offended look.

“He’s right though.”

“Akaashi stop or I will cry.” Bokuto turned and threatened his close friend only to have him roll his eyes back at him.

“Look, Y/N I mean L/N, had a long relationship with me I think it’s normal for me to be slightly off my game for a short while. Why is it such a big deal and why can’t you all just mind your own business. Focus on getting yourselves girlfriends, if that's even possible, before trying to get me back together with my ex one.”

“Listen here young one -”

“Oh here we go.” Kenma mumbled.

Kuroo paid no mind to him as he continued. “- Myself and Bo are ever so busy. We’re third years and captains. We have no time for girls but I can assure you we both have the option to have one if we want whenever we want.”

“No you can't. Girls find your hair stupid and probably don’t find chemistry puns funny or attractive.”

“Kenma! Are you here to help or to bully me?”

“Both.”

Bokuto snickered but was silenced by Akaashi’s sharp voice.

“Stop laughing Bokuto-san you’re no better. The closest you’ve gotten to a girl is our managers who babysit you if anything and you still owe one of them money.”

Bokuto’s face dropped as Kuroo’s smirk widened.

“Kuroo stop laughing.”

“I’m not laughing.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

The bickering between the Tokyo prefecture students went back and forth until Bokuto stood up to chase Kuroo around who had grabbed Kenma to help him.

Tsukishima had just about had it and had his finger hovering above the ‘end’ button.

Akaashi took it upon himself to pick up the device they were communicating through and leave the room Kenma was currently trapped in with the two child-like captains.

“My apologies for the two of them, they're a handful. But what they’re saying does hold some value. Tsukishima-san, you’re a talented player and sure this must be something you’re trying hard to overcome but, I do think Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san are somewhat right. This girl clearly means something to you and keeping yourself in denial won’t help you. It’s important to keep control of personal issues as it will affect your performance in a match otherwise emotions build up and you’ll lose focus.”

Tsukishima was taken aback slightly. Akaashi was never one to speak up often, only giving his input when needed unlike his friend who would talk for the sake of it. Tsukishima had genuine respect for Akaashi and had decided that from their meeting at the training camp. He was someone Tsukishima found level headed and honest. Someone worthy of giving their opinion in Tsukishima’s head anyway.

“Yeah. I’ll give it some thought. Thank you for your time Akaashi-san I look forward to our next meeting.”

“My pleasure Tsukishima-san and if Bokuto-san bothers you, don’t hesitate to contact me and I’ll sort it out for you.”

“You’re like his babysitter.”

“He needs one. He has the mental age of a 5 year old. He is still a good captain with good intentions though. Same goes for Kuroo-san. They are concerned for you and want you to know that they are here if you need them. They’ve really taken a shine to you.”

Tsukishima almost smiled. Sure the two loud third years were irritating and provoking at times, they had changed his perspective on volleyball and it was thanks to them he found himself fall in love with the sport he played. He only wished he had the girl he loved too. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud though.

“I do somewhat appreciate them, I suppose. Anyway I had better go. Sorry for all the trouble Akaashi-san, please apologise to Kozume-san too.”

“No worries, take care and I hope to see the usual or improved standard of yourself when we next play.”

“I’ll try.”

And with that the call had ended. Tsukishima didn’t want to admit it but the points Kuroo and Bokuto had made to him did make some sort of sense and he was silently grateful to them.

Entering the gym felt good for the first time in a while.

Nodding at Daichi, Tsukishima participated in the usual drills coach Ukai was running. Keeping to himself, Tsukishima thought over the current situation and evaluated his options. He wanted to talk to you again but his pride wouldn’t allow it. Not while you apparently have a new boyfriend. That stupid Hara Itsuki none the less too.

-

2 weeks had passed since then and to Tsukishima’s annoyance, both Bokuto and Kuroo made it their responsibility to contact him every few days to check on his progress and wellbeing. Sure he was technically their rivals, but neither Kuroo or Bokuto cared. They saw Tsukishima as a worthy and respectable opponent and someone they wanted to be good role models to.

The rumours had begun to die down much to your relief and you had decided to distance yourself from Hara ever so slightly to discourage people from getting the wrong idea. Hara noticed this and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all.

-

5pm at Karasuno highschool was usually a peaceful time. Volleyball practice had ended and very few students were left on campus.

Tsukishima had been making his way out of practice when his phone rang. Another facetime call came up on his screen and immediately his face scrunched up.

“Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

“Nope ~”

Tsukishima snarled as he made his way to his locker to grab his biology textbook before heading home.

“Hang on I’m gonna add Bo to the call.”

“Must you? I can just about handle you both one on one and I don’t even like doing that.”

“Such a sharp tongue Tsuki. I only hope you're working on your blocks and observations to be just as sharp again.”

“Hey, hey hey Tsuki!”

“Ugh.”

The two captains spoke to each other briefly as Tsukishima kept them on the call while unlocking his locker until a familiar voice piqued his interest.

“Shush for a sec would you.”

Tsukishima demanded the two third years as they stopped and stopped talking.

The blonde first year could hear your voice nearby and from what it sounded like you were in slight distress.

“Stop it you piece of shit!”

“Thats Y/N’s voice.” Tsukishima quietly muttered as the two captains listened carefully.

Quietly walking closer to where you were heard, Tsukishima noticed Hara had you cornered against the wall and it didn’t look like he was letting you go anytime soon.

“Listen to me Y/N. I’m fucking sick of waiting. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do anything with you? You’re so fucking naive it’s pathetic.”

Tsukishima was taken aback slightly. Hara had just insulted you? But weren’t you dating him? Deciding not to step in just yet, he decided to continue observing from a distance and then make a decision on what he should do.

“Hara, listen to me. You broke me and Tsukishima up whether that was your intention or not. I rejected you because I don’t want to date anyone. Especially not you and you know why. Let me go now.” Your tone was icy and your glare was hard.

Lowkey Tsukishima was proud of the tone you were using. Before the two of you had started dating, you were never nasty to anyone. You did start to pick up the habits of Tsukishima’s spiteful tone however a few months into your relationship and he was proud of that.

“Listen here you fucking slut. Your lanky boyfriend only got in the way. Poor naive little Y/N did you really think I was interested? Your personality is something I’ve been forcing myself to put up with for months and I still haven’t dicked you down yet. You’re a selfish brat.”

Your face twisted with disgust. You were furious, enraged even. Since your fight with Tsukishima you had built up your tolerance to harsh words so Hara’s insensitive language didn’t affect as much as it probably would’ve a few months ago.

“Who the hell gave you the confidence? As if I’d ever let a creature like you touch me. Did you really think I’d let you sleep with me after you drove a wedge between me and Tsukishima? You’re a sick little bitch an ugly one too!”

Now Tsukishima was proud of you. Harsh insults, cutting edge tone, dark scowl and a whole load of attitude. Whether you liked it or not, your time spent over the long months with your ex boyfriend had transformed you into his own Frankenstein's monster and he took a small hint of pride in that.

Hara grew angry and slammed his hand harder against the wall making you flinch.

“What makes you think I’m waiting for your permission. You’re helpless Y/N. A helpless little slut who’s about to get what she deserves.”

Your eyes clenched shut. There was no chance in you winning a physical fight with this boy. You had just about lost hope.

“AHAHAHAHAHA BO DOESN’T HE SOUND LIKE A GREMLIN!”

“BRO YOU’RE RIGHT HE DOES!! I JUST KNOW FROM HIS MID PUBESCENT VOICE HE SMELLS LIKE MAYO OR SOME SHIT!”

“STOP IT YOU CHEEKY BASTARD I’M GONNA PISS MYSELF!”

“DON’T BLAME ME, BLAME LITTLE PITCHY VOICE BITCH AT KARASUNO!”

Hara’s head snapped to face Tsukishima who was sighing in embarrassment at his two upperclassmen’s comments. Kuroo and Bokuto were currently having a field day mocking the ‘little bitch boy’ Hara.

You looked up as your eyes widened at the sight of your ex boyfriend stood there, phone in one hand, bag and textbook in the other. He was slightly sweaty from training and he held a dark expression to his face.

“What the actual fuck?” Hara spat out.

“I’m afraid you’ve been caught out Hara-san.” Tsukishima cooly said as the screeches of the two captains on the phone lowered down.

“Tsuki PLEASE show us what little bitch boy looks like I’m begging you!”

“Yeah show us Tsuki!”

“Ready to have your eyes burned?” Tsukishima snickered as he flipped the camera and pointed it towards the now raging Hara.

“WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT NO I AM GONNA PISS MYSELF!”

“IT’S THE EXPRESSION FOR ME!”

“Guys stop being so mean I think he’s going to cry.”

Hara snarled and glared straight at Tsukishima who had decided to give into Bokuto and Kuroo and encourage their provocative behaviour for once.

“You’re the one who’s going to be crying you lanky bit-AH SHIT FUCK!”

Hara was cut off by your knee making quick contact with his crotch with heavy force.

“Felt kinda small down there buddy.”

With Hara on the ground clutching his assaulted private area, you ran away from him and next to Tsukishima’s side.

“NO WAY DID SHE JUST SAY YOU FELT SMALL DOWN THERE THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD I’M SO GLAD WE CALLED TODAY AHAHAHA!”

“LITTLE DICK PITCHY VOICE BITCH BOY!”

Tsukishima made a mental note to not ever encourage the two captains to be as irritating as they were being to Hara now but since he wasn’t on the receiving end it couldn’t hurt to push them a little bit.

Hara began to move and both you and Tsukishima stood towering above him.

“Oi Tsuki I don't condone violence but… kick him if you’re bad.”

“Do it Tskui, do it for the boys.”

“Nobody is kicking anyone.”

A new voice was heard in the halls.

“Sawamura-san.” You bowed your head slightly as he smiled at you and Tsukishima briefly before turning his attention to the two fellow captains on the call with Tsukishima.

“I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t try to corrupt my players thank you.”

“Do you country kids not ever have a bit of rough house from time to time?”

“Not when I’m around no.” Daichi replied back to the bedhead captain who only smirked in return.

Now turning his gaze to the whimpering boy on the floor Daichi raised an eyebrow.

“What happened here.”

“Attempted assault.” Tsukishima swift replied.

“Attempted? That bitch did assault me!” Hara cried from the floor.

“Kuroo listen! The gremlin’s voice is even more pitchy!”

Daichi sighed and grabbed the boy up from the floor.

“I’m not stupid. Tsukishima isn’t the type to lie and L/N doesn’t exactly look thrilled to be in your presence either. I think me and you should take a little trip down to the principal's office and have a look through the cctv footage.”

“Get rekted.” Bokuto snickered as Daichi dragged the disgraced boy off towards the reception.

“Listen I think you two have some things to talk about so we’re gonna go now. Remember what we said to you Tsuki. Call you soon!”

“Get that cooch my son!”

Tsukishima immediately hung up after Bokuto’s last comment which earned a snicker from you.

“Look, Tsukishima, I’m really really sorry about what went down a while ago. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and it was wrong of me not to just approach you and express my issues I had with you. In all honesty I didn’t have a huge problem with your attitude, Hara got into my head a bit and would tell me my reputation was being dragged down by you.”

Tsukishima stared down at you as he examined your face. He could tell you were being genuine but he knew you both needed time to talk things through and be more transparent with each other before picking things back up from where they left off.

“I know Y/N. I’m sorry for what I said too. I know I said some hurtful things but I didn’t mean them. You’re worth more than what I claimed you were and for that I apologize. I just wish you had been more open with me.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Tsukishima never apologised so this was a big deal to you. You gave the boy a soft smile.

“It’s going to take some time for us both to heal. A lot went down today but if you’ll let me, I want to give us a chance to rebuild things between us. I still love you no matter how much I try to deny it. We need to work on communication obviously but I do want to give us another shot, Tsukishima.”

“Kei. It’s Kei to you. And yeah you’re right. We do need to be more open with each other. I’m not saying we should get back together right now, but I do care about you and I suppose I do need you in a weird way. I’m happy to work on us if that’s what you want.”

Tsukishima smiled down at you. The first genuine smile in a while which you immediately returned back to him.

-

Hara had caused a lot of damage. But you had the time to rebuild it all and that’s just what the two of you did.

This was obvious to all 3 captains involved in watching over Tsukishima when they saw the improvement in his playing.

Sure Tsukishima found people irritating often, but thanks to their concern a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Hara was expelled for attempted sexual assault, and you were being more clear with him.

It would take a while for things to go back to what they used to be, but getting rid of Hara and having you back by his side was a good start.

[inhibited-irregularity]

EUROVISION 2021, personal favorites:

- Russia 🇷🇺

Manizha, Russian Woman: Absolute favorite. The sheer originality of the song! Her energy and the level of absolute badassery! She can sing, she can rap,and she's a bomb of energy. The way reggae and brass and hiphop and Slavic melodies overlap and it somehow works, the transitions between fun and "I'm bitter about the sexism and I'm mocking it unapologetically and making a stand" and the anthemic, emphatic and powerful message to Russian women; I was swelling with emotion while watching her. While to an American or a Westerner it may seem like performative feminism, I'm gonna remind you that in Russia and other Slavic countries that's very much not a thing and actually a very unpopular stand to make, and in Russia, The Balkans, and Eastern Europe in general, hundreds of women face domestic and sexual abuse on the daily, and those who do come forward rarely get support and are mostly dismissed. Let's not forget that Manizha got a huge backlash from the Russian government officials, and a big part of it was for her Tajik roots. The honesty of her message is real, and she's speaking from personal experience and the experience of women around her - nothing performative about her song, and you can tell from her delivery that the fire within her is true and she leaves her heart on the stage and pours it into the song. The staging and costumes are great as well, and symbolically well thougt-through. I would really like her to win, or at least get to the top 5. Most of all, I hope her message is heard and felt. 10000/10

- Italy 🇮🇹

Måneskin, Zitti e Buoni: definitely the closest thing to my actual music taste this year, so liking them off the bat wasn't a surprise. However, they're not just your regular Franz-Ferdinand-ish young alt rock band that wants to do rock "properly" - they have IT. The X factor, the Je ne sais quoi. I've been exposed to that particular genre, and I can confidently say that the song still manages to be refreshing and original (that bridge, those riffs!) The band has a great energy and no matter how much Damiano steals the show, they are still a unit and nobody is left in the shadows. They have the spirit of great rock bands of the previous century, and yet they don't try to copy anyone (khm,Greta Van Fleet, khm). Damiano's vocals are both powerful, seductive and provoking, and I'm still admiring the sheer amount of emotion he can pack into a single line and the nuance and yet rawness behind it. I'm not gonna state the obvious lol (the obvious being yes, I'm thirsty as well, he becomes yet another unattainable rockstar for me too,and yes they all look great) Anyway, great song, and maybe the clearest and most serious candidate for the number one spot, taking both the jury and the public into consideration. 10/10

- Iceland 🇮🇸

Daði Freyr and Gagnamagnið, 10 years:

What can I say about this masterpiece that hasn't already been said? A clear fan-favorite (hi, Valentina), but with the guns to back it up. The song is contagious, fun and campy, and unlike some other songs with said qualities, actually good from a musical perspective. Daði is incredibly charismatic and his sense of humor shines through, and even though he's the star of the show, the same can be said about the other band members. The synergy Måneskin has can be applied to Gagnamagnið as well, even though the energy is entirely different. They're serving us fun, sunshine, kitties rainbows sugar spice and everything nice, and manage to do it with zero cringe factor (plus those funky keytars). I'm one of those Eurovision fans that lament the golden age's (2004-2009) campiness (We'll never forget you, Verka), and Daði managed to bring it back, but modernised, polished and still sincere. I personally preferred the epic dad joke that slightly more commercial Think About Thing was (but that's one tough act to follow), but I'm always down for a husband adoring his wife and singing praises to their relationship. Since we're on tumblr, I feel obliged to use the term "cinnamon rolls" in describing Daði and the band. 9.5/10

- France 🇫🇷

Barbara Pravi, Voilà: She brought the theatrics, she brought the drama, and she brought the 101 in "that's how you perform". Her personality leaps through, and her voice is both beautiful and full of emotion and power. I'd hire her to star in a serious and artistic movie. Despite the fact that Voilà is from its melody to the singing style to the video to the vibe and the aesthetic hands down the most French thing I've seen since Amélie (do not come for that movie), it miraculously doesn't come across as a cliché, but rather an homage, and an individualistic one at that. It's not entirely my cup of tea, since I'm usually biased to songs that may come off as snobbish (I mean, the jury is going to lap it up), and are all about being proper and technical and oh how ~artistic~, but Barbara puts the soul into the immaculate. I'm not giving her the highest mark because I'm yet to see the performance, but I'm rooting for her. If she delivers the performance, we might have a clear winner. 9/10

- Ukraine 🇺🇦

Go_A, Shum: I'm a sucker for all things ethnic and mytological, so this was a no-brainer. I want that song played at every party. I want to go to the forest in the video and chant and summon the spring with flute and hard-bass. Kateryna Pavlenko has some unexplainable power over me, and her eyes are simply hypnotizing. The vocals are great, proper Slavic ethno right there (seriously, check out Slavic folklore and traditional music), and she has a subtle punk quality too(?). Ukraine came to save the spring and make us forget about the pandemic, and minus the Maruv fiasco (justice for her!), they always deliver and I expected nothing less. On the other hand, I loved the original version much more and couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with the revamp (yes, I know they had to), and while I personally love Shum, I think some other acts are more deserving of the higher placement. Go_A are not my winner, but definitely soon to be in my playlist. 8/10

- San Marino 🇸🇲

Adrenalina, Senhit ft. Flo Rida: You know that golden age of Eurovision I mentioned? THIS. I'm Serbian, so I can't resist a banger reminiscent of our horrible turbo-folk elements (and I say that endearingly,takes me back to 18th birthday parties (boy I'm glad that's over)). Let's just crown Senhit this year's Queen of Camp. The wild factor of Flo Rida...just?? Amazing. Can't wait to see how the performance goes (EDIT- it went great, I had a grin on my face the entire time and couldn't help but dance along). A certain refreshment after Serhat and Valentina Monetta endless loop. They didn't dial down the weird, but made it catchy af, and the vocal can rival any Balkan folk diva. While I think it's definitely the most entertaining entry this year, it's far from being the most original, and it's not really my genre of preference. Will vote for Senhit and root for her to qualify. 7.5/ 10

- Sweden 🇸🇪

Tusse, A million voices: As I mentioned before, I'm the first person that starts complaining about Sweden Superiority as soon as Eurovision season begins, and I'm with you all with being tired of Sweden qualifying just because they're Sweden and usually just bringing the same brand of MTV/Calvin Harris/American pop, or a successful and not-so-subtle imitation of the performances that did well the previous year,but listen: A million voices is a solid pop song and I'm going to die on that hill. It actually embodies the essence of pop - a catchy, pleasant melody sung by a good vocalist, with a short,sweet and uplifting message. It's not the same as previous years, it's not commercial, just good pop - good pop being something you immediately like and vibe to no matter how many common elements of the genre it checks. It relies on RnB rather than electronic sounds, auto tune or various DJ effects. Tusse is charming and charismatic af, and he's a 19yo kid doing an amazing job on a global stage. You don't have to like it, but there's no need to hate on it (ask Jendrik). Imo, Tusse deserved to qualify. Not winner material yet, but I wish him a fun time and a successful career. 7 5/10

- Switzerland 🇨🇭

G'jons Tears, Tout L'Univers: I saw the video first, and I HATED IT. It came across as a Duncan Lawrence-high-art wannabe, something technically perfect, but empty of soul or meaning, another soft boy with a sad falsetto, another jury-points bait. BUT. I changed my mind entirely after seeing him perform. Hands down, it was touching and epic. Reminding me of Hamlet aside, he DELIVERED, and made me love him, and actually enjoy the song. I still think the song is less original than Tusse's voices, but I enjoy the troubadour vibes of the pre-chours. G'jon is absolutely adorable, and I'm not gonna be mad if he wins. 8/10

shout-outs&honorable mentions:

- Serbia 🇷🇸 Yes, some national bias, but I'm proud of our girls. Ever Since we placed 2nd with Željko's Lane, we had that goddamn flute e v e r y year, and the same outdated scenography with a side of extra pathos (I'm sure that ruined Sanja's chances and her otherwise great performance back in 2016.) Finally something fun and actually representative of the music popular here. They looked flawless and the energy was off the charts. Go, Hurricane!

-Finland 🇫🇮 Yes, cheesy and corny and I cut my finger accidentally from watching the video on all the edge, but I'm biased because they're bringing emo and nu-metal back, and that's the music of my early adolescence (hello, Kaulitz brothers and Andy Biersack,hello Gerard Way and Linkin Park) Call me grandma lol

- Malta 🇲🇹 DESTINY CAN SIIIIIIIIING! I wasn't impressed with the song initially, but the performance blew my mind.

- Ireland 🇮🇪 A for effort, and so nice of her to try and give us something unique! While it wasn't good enough to qualify, it was super fun and she seems so nice. Also, we all know that she was out of breath an can sing much better than that. Still wasn't bad.

- Romania 🇷🇴, for being so young and brave enough to put on a show. The nerves got the better of her, but the song itself is good and no doubt she'll do well in the future

- Lithuania 🇱🇹, thanks for the memeries

- Croatia 🇭🇷, Not my cup of tea, but Albina gave a great performance

-Norway 🇳🇴, for embodying the spirit of Eurovision

- North Macedonia 🇲🇰, for the disco chest

- The UK 🇬🇧, for putting some effort

(Might edit later)

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Aaaanyways, I wanna put on my comic-art-nerd hat and talk about panel-to-panel action in that Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow preview because yes, I have been staring at it for days, and yes, I will continue to do so until it is released next month! XD

LET’S GO:

I apologize in advance for the funky formatting, there’s an art to tumblr text posts and I...have not mastered it. XD

It’ll go image, then analysis.

Also, just to be clear: I’m not doing this so much to be like, ‘WOW THIS IS GROUNDBREAKING, STUNNING, NEVER-BEEN-DONE!’ In fact, many comics do the things I’m gonna highlight/geek out over! Rather, it’s more about, like. Appreciating the construction of the pages, panels, etc.

Okay, so! Page 1, the SPLASH PAGE

Okay, so, admittedly, I don’t have a ton to say about this opening image, largely because it is one single illustration as opposed to a series of panels. But even then! It quickly establishes that we’re not on earth--the foliage, rock formations, and GIANT WOOLY FRIEND(?) give that away. Also! Said rock formations and wooly friend’s horns frame our new character RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PAGE, letting you know that even though she is tiny, she is important. And, I will just say, I love the dust effects on the ground. The repeated semi-circle shapes evoke the feeling of rhythmic, galloping hoof beats, even without actual movement or sound. Lovely.

And now, PAGE 2!

So, I’ve highlighted panel 3, but before I get there! Panels 1 & 2 do such a nice job of giving us an idea as to the actual, physical size of these two characters, as well as the power dynamic at play. This random dude takes up the WHOLE DANG PANEL with his bulging muscles and is framed in an up-shot; in panel 2, Ruthye is not only shown from above--we’re literally looking down at her--she is also relegated to the bottom half of the panel. Additionally, it’s a great way to show the action of her turning to pull the sword from her belt, obscuring it from both our view and his, to bring out the ‘big reveal’ in the next panel.

Speaking of! Panel 3! Our establishing shot! We’re introduced to the full interior of this tavern. We see where everything is placed--walls, furniture, and perhaps most importantly, the various patrons!

Establishing shots are so important to have in visual media because they help us, the reader/viewer, to orient all of the various components within a sequence or scene.  

It’s also helpful for the artists because then they can better maintain things like screen direction and continuity.

If we don’t have a shot like this, then subsequent action can become confusing to the point of distraction.

YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED how often this is neglected or forgotten in comics! Scenes will change abruptly and it’s like, ‘wait, wait, where are we?’ 

ADDITIONALLY, the establishing shot not only gives us basic spatial information, it ~sets the mood~ XD Setting! Atmosphere! Genre! It’s all here.

I mentioned this in my prior post, that the art gives off some intense fantasy vibes, what with the organic shapes, rough textures, and color palette.

Folks who’ve read advanced copies have described the book as a fantasy/western; that extends even to the series title design! The designer revealed that the western look of the text is deliberate.

So A+ to the art team for NAILING IT!

Okay, on to page 3!

Not a ton of notes on this one, but that’s only because the prior page has done such a solid job of laying out the space, as well as the relationship between these two characters WITH JUST WITH THE ART. (Okay, okay, the words help too. XD) Once more, we see this big brute tower over Ruthye, panel- to-panel; he’s always ‘large and in charge’ regardless of the angle. Even in that final panel! Ruthye is the largest element because she’s closer to us, but the guy is still positioned ‘above’ her, literally talking down to Ruthye from over his shoulder. 

(And HMMMM. That unassuming stranger in the back there, underneath the lanterns that seem to act as an arrow pointing right at her...could she be...important?)

(Her tiny size would seem to imply that she isn’t...AND YET...)

PAGE 4!

MMMM them FRAMES within FRAMES!

Okay, but before I get into that, I do wanna briefly mention panel size and shape.

All of these pages (save for 1 and 7, which are full-page illustrations) pretty much stick to a very traditional panel structure. Each panel is completely enclosed, and there is zero variety in terms of shape. It’s all rectangles.

BUT. The size and orientation change--take, for instance, that ‘skinny’ horizontal panel up top, the way it perfectly suits the ‘shape’ of the elements/action being shown. It’s a close on Kara’s wrist/hand, reaching out for the sword in the guy’s belt. 

I mention this because often, writers don’t dictate stuff like panel layout in a script. They will give the artist the number of panels, and what needs to be included in each one, but the actual, overall organization of the page? Totally up to the artist.

So! Really knowing what you want to highlight and convey is key, because you can use the panels’ size/shape/relation to other panels to ENHANCE those images, like that sword grabbing up top!

AND! Another thing I love about that panel in particular is the way that Kara’s hand and the sword make a tiny frame for Ruthye! Who is, again, VERY TINY! 

I keep mentioning the size thing because it’s a nice bit of economical visual storytelling; the child character is going to be smaller than the adult characters anyway, but by calling attention to it repeatedly, we as the viewer are constantly reminded that this kid is small! She needs help! She needs to be protected! Which is like, the whole premise of the inciting incident. XD Good stuff!

(Also more dot eyes in comics that aren’t humor comics, please.) 

There’s another frame down in panel 3 as well! Evely uses this device several times throughout this sequence; it’s such a great use of the multiple swords in the scene, AND shows that she can really pack all of the characters in there without cutting any of them off/obscuring them behind various objects.

And like, NO TANGENTS, which takes some serious skillz.

ESPECIALLY when you consider all that beautiful linework. LOOK AT THEM INKS.

...In particular, look at them inks in panel 5! The shading on the booth is done in such a manner that the ‘grain’ of the ink defines the perspective. We’re looking down at Kara, from above. This is a helpful little bit of orientation, as there’s not a ton of room around Kara to have any other perspective lines to help sell the angle. 

ALSO, NOTE THE POSITION OF MR. BRUTE IN PANEL 4, AND THEN KARA’S EYELINE IN PANEL 5. It will be important in...

PAGE 5!

Allow me to explain:

In panel four on page 4, we see the guy reach for his sword, his body language revealing that he’s intent on moving towards Kara.

In panel 5 on the same page, we get that lovely down shot of Kara looking right up at us, the viewer. But also, the implication is that she’s ACTUALLY looking at Tough Guy, because in the next page, we see that he’s positioned himself right above her to swing that sword down!

(My apologies for the poor attempts at drawn annotations.) 

There’s no action lines cluttering up the beautiful art; Not-Conan’s hair, rather, acts as the action line/guiding ‘arc’ so that we can better follow the movement.

Kara, likewise, doesn’t have any action lines on her, but her posture and hair act as visual cues to tell us that she slides over in the booth, out of the way of the sword.

In particular, the way her right shoulder/arm draws closer to her body, and the way her left hand comes up to offset the way she’s now positioned, really sells the ‘slide’. 

More beautiful indicators of movement in panel 2; the hair, the action line on the sword, the torn fabric of Kara’s shirt.

Panel 3 brings more FRAMES WITHIN FRAMES! And, actually, as I’m looking at it? I think it could be argued that we actually have a FRAME within a FRAME within a FRAME!

First frame: Panel border, natch.

Second frame: Goofus’ sword, arm, and face frame Kara.

Third frame: Kara’s arm and sword work with Goofus’ head again to frame tiny Krypto.

LAYERS.

And now, a note about colors!

I said before that I love the palette at play. The earthy tones give the entire setting an organic feel--this is not a high-tech locale! We’re dealing with natural materials here.

BUT THEN THOSE BLUES!

Not only do we get that nice split complementary thing happening with the yellow, but it also signals the blue of Kara’s costume, a little hint of which is revealed in the final page.

And, like. It’s night time. XD

(I just gotta say, love the cold blue outside the window next to Kara’s table, contrasted with the warm yellow of the interior. Even though this is a bar, there’s still that element of like. Coziness.)

Also! Even though the overall palette is heavy on the yellows, Kara’s hair is more saturated and leans towards a warmer yellow, while the rest of the yellows in the scene are cooler. Thus! We have CONTRAST! Our eyes are drawn right to her.

And I know--I KNOW--that SG comics twitter already hates King because Kara’s DRINKING and personally I want more of the story/context before I pass any judgement but I must admit, the shapes? In panel 5? With Kara drinking in the foreground? 

I kinda love it.

Also mmmm-MMMM, more of them SOFT BLUES.

Okay. PAGE 6!

Now THIS PAGE is what inspired this whole endeavor.

Because, okay. If I’ve not made it clear by now: I read a lot of comics.

And I generally enjoy all of the comics I read!

But, what I’ve found lately, is that if I don’t enjoy a comic, it’s because I, as a reader, find myself confused by the art.

Confused as in, the art is hard to follow.

That can be because the color design/ink work doesn’t have enough contrast, or the composition is muddled, but most frequently?

It’s poor panel-to-panel action.

When there’s no flow/connection between what’s happening in one panel vs. another, suddenly it’s on you, as the reader, to do a lot more of the work as you go through the scene. And sometimes! We don’t even have enough visual information to DO that work!

So when I read this, I was like, ‘ah, thank you, an easy flow of action for my brain to appreciate.’ XD

AND SO. Panel 1! Same stuff we’ve been seeing! The ink work, hair, clothing details, etc. all work to show us which direction each character is moving. Kara’s arm and jacket all point to her slamming that mug in the dude’s face; dude’s sword serves as a GIANT ARROW illustrating the path of his stab.

Not much to say on panels 2 and 3 other than: FACIAL EXPRESSIONS! And also, HAIR!!!

PANEL FOOOOUR!!!!

Love. This. Panel.

Again, I really love that there are no action lines slapped on top of this gorgeous art, all of the movement is conveyed in the inks, body language, clothes, and so on.

Like. There’s a conscious decision, here, to not have Kara’s hair obscuring the dude’s torso, and that’s good! Because his belt/uhh...kilt? Skirt? Is showing us the speed and direction of his jab; if Kara’s hair were in the way, it would break up the flow.

BUT THEN HOW TO SHOW THAT KARA’S DIPPING FORWARD???

Note the ties on her cuff, and the inks on her jacket!

There’s nothing special happening with Krypto, BTW. I just circled him because he’s a Good Boy who deserves to be noticed.

Panel 5, more of the same, the inks telling us how these characters are moving through space. ALSO, the length of the lines conveys speed without needing to add something distracting/obscure the art with a ‘blur’ effect.

Final panel! I. LOVE. THIS.

Particularly the movement in Kara’s hair, just. Beautiful shape language.

But in addition! You’ve got that LOVELY line of action in Kara’s spine as she flips him over, the sword likewise curved in the direction of the throw.

And of course, the dude is crumpling in the appropriate direction, bent in the middle as he collides with the table to--quite literally--complete the circle.

Also, just. The characterization here, is PHENOMENAL.

People (read: irate fans on twitter) have expressed concern (read: complained) about Kara having a sword. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that Kara’s basically a murderer now, because she’s using a weapon.

Never mind the fact that in an episode of JLU, Supergirl used both a sword AND a gun to defend herself while in Skartaris because she had no powers. 

Except we see here that Kara DOESN’T USE THE SWORD to take the guy out, she uses his own force against him. She only uses the swords in the FINAL PAGE in a type of ‘yield’ fashion.

(This particular ‘fight’ sequence reminded me of Brainy’s fighting style in the show so of course that added to my overall enjoyment.)

Like, Kara’s got no powers here, she very well could have used the sword to defend herself, and would...kinda be justified.

But she didn’t! 

Like. Even drunk and therefore out of it, Kara 1.) Steps in to help that kid and 2.) doesn’t use superpowered lethal force on the guy. (I mean, she can’t use her super powers anyway, what with the red sun, but you get the idea.)

And like, the flourish there, of the arms, the way the jacket swirls around her, like a gymnast sticking the landing, GAAAAAHHHH I just love it. It’s great.

Okay, FINAL PAGE, #7:

I mean. What more can I say? EVELY AND LOPES, MAN.

Just some top notch art.

(Also get it guys, it’s a LITERAL shirt rip! XD)

(And look! There’s that tiny bit of blue!)

But anyways, if you’ve made it this far, I applaud you, and thank you for indulging my desire to just. Geek out over one of my favorite comic artists drawing one of my favorite comic characters.

And just to like, reiterate, I’m not suggesting that this comic is THE BEST EVER or that it’s going to redefine the medium, or anything. XD Everything I’ve mentioned here is...pretty basic storytelling mechanics. Watch any movie, and you’ll see all this same stuff at work.

RATHER, this whole post is more about...admiring two artists who clearly know what they’re doing.

And they’re doing it so well! :D

TL;DR: I’m so excited that the Supergirl book has Evely and Lopes, guys. So. Excited. 

[sinceileftyoublog]

Indigo De Souza Interview: Compassion for Different Modalities

Photo by Charlie Boss

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Calling from her home near Asheville, North Carolina earlier this month, singer-songwriter Indigo De Souza is getting ready to go on tour behind her terrific sophomore album Any Shape You Take (Saddle Creek). Like everyone, she’s anxious about navigating the current COVID-19 landscape, but how she and her band adapt to a live performance and play the multi-dimensional songs that make up the record seems to be of little concern. I guess if I was as talented as De Souza, I wouldn’t be worried, either. Released last month, Any Shape You Take is a stunning series of ruminations on love and relationships, platonic and romantic, that span a number of years in De Souza’s life. Raised in a conservative small town in North Carolina by a mom who was an artist, De Souza doesn’t shy away from the fact that her family did not fit in. At the encouragement of her mother, she leaned into her artistic visions, making music as early as 9 years old, releasing her first EP in 2016.

After self-releasing her (very appropriately titled) first album I Love My Mom in 2018, De Souza signed to indie stalwarts Saddle Creek, who rereleased her debut and supplied her with the means to craft a much larger-sounding follow-up. Working with prolific secret weapon co-producer Brad Cook, her first proper label release occupies an incredible amount of genre territory. “This is the way I’m going to bend,” announces De Souza on auto-tuned synth pop opener “17″ before, well, bending in a number of different directions. “Darker Than Death” and “Die/Cry”, nervous songs that were written years ago, sport fitting build-ups, the former’s slow hi hats and cymbals giving way to jolts of guitar noise, the latter’s jangly rock taking a back seat to yelped harmonies. Songs like “Pretty Pictures” and “Hold U” reenter the dance world, the latter an especially catchy neo soul and funk highlight, a simple earworm of a love song. In the end, whether playing scraped, slow-burning guitar or rubbery keyboard, De Souza’s thoughtful and honest meditations center the emotionally charged album, one of the very best of the year.

De Souza takes her live show to the Beat Kitchen tonight and tomorrow night (both sold out) with Dan Wriggins of Friendship opening. Read our interview with De Souza about the making of Any Shape You Take and her songwriting process.

Since I Left You: On Any Shape You Take, there seems to be a good mix of folks you’ve worked with before and folks you’re working with for the first time. What did each group bring to the table?

Indigo De Souza: Brad Cook was co-producing. It was my first time working with a producer on something. That was crazy. He was very supportive of everything and very encouraging. It was nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of who wanted to encourage my vision. I also worked with Alex [Farrar] and Adam [McDaniel] from drop of sun studios in Asheville. They’re both just so sweet and talented. They were engineering but also helped with production as well. I ended up getting really close with Alex, and me and Alex finished out the album together doing vocal overdubs and random overdubs. It feels like he did a lot of production on the album and was a star for me in the process. They were all great to work with. It was interesting to me to have so many people working on the album.

What I realized after the fact, [though], was that it was kind of distracting for me to have so many brains working on it. It taught me I actually feel very confidently about my vision for songs, and I can trust myself to have ideas for my own songs. I think I was scared going in that I was going to come up blank in that scenario because it was such a high-pressure thing, getting on a label and making a high-production album. But I definitely thrived in the space. It was really fun.

SILY: It shows in the finished product. There are so many different styles and subgenres within the record. Do you listen to all the types of music that show up on this record?

IDS: Yeah, for sure. Mostly, I listen to pop music and dance music. That’s probably my most daily genre. I don’t listen to a lot of music daily, though. I listen to music probably a couple times a week when I’m in the car, but it’s so random, and the genres I listen to are pretty random. It depends on my mood. I think when I’m writing, it’s the same way, whether I’m writing a poppier or rock-based song. They’re different moods for me.

SILY: How do you generally approach juxtaposing lyrics with instrumentation?

IDS: With writing, it’s different every time the way they fall into place together. I do notice that one of the more common ways it happens is I’ll be going about my day and hear a melody in my head and start humming it and realize I’m making it up, that I have no record of it before. I’ll start attaching feeling to the melody, depending on what I’m feeling, and at first I’ll be singing gibberish with the melody, but I’ll usually get some headphones on and plug into the computer so I can sing into a microphone. I’ll mess around with the melody and sing random words until something true to me kind of sticks. That’s usually how it goes. Sometimes, I [do] sit down and it comes out in one breath, like the song is already written in my mind.

Honestly, it’s so normalized how songwriting is. It’s such a strange, magical thing that people can write songs that have never been written before. [laughs]

SILY: Thematically, there are a lot of songs on Any Shape You Take where you’re feeling doubts about a relationship, like on “Darker Than Death”. Someone’s feeling bad, and you’re wondering whether it’s you making them feel bad. And on “Die, Cry”, you sing, “I’d rather die than see you cry.” On the other hand, there are some songs like “Pretty Pictures” where you know your place more within the relationship, and you know what’s eventually gonna happen to it. How do you balance those feelings of doubt with knowing what’s gonna happen?

IDS: It’s funny, because the first two songs you mention were written a very long time ago when I was in the only very long-term relationship I’ve ever been in. I was very confused in that time and was having a hard time in general with my mental health. “Pretty Pictures” is the newest song on the album, a last minute addition because another song we had on there didn’t really fit. We looked through my demos folder and chose “Pretty Pictures”, the most recent song I had written at the time, and recorded it for the album. They’re totally different times in my life, and how you said it is definitely how I was. There’s a time I was more confused, and now, love is more simple in my life, and I can process things and see how they are, have compassion for different modalities.

SILY: I love the line on “Way Out”, “There are no monsters underneath your bed, and I’ll never be the only thing you love.” It’s a very logical statement in the face of unbridled emotion that can make you think illogically. Is that contrast something you think shows up throughout the record?

IDS: Within love, over time, I’ve realized that there’s not one person for anybody. There’s a lot of fluidity in the ways people can feel towards other people. That line is definitely a nod to allowing people to love many other people and not taking it personally.

SILY: From a singing perspective, you have a lot of different vocal stylings on the record. I found it interesting you led it off with a track where you’re super auto-tuned. Can you tell me about that decision?

IDS: “17” originally was this demo I made in 2016 or 2017. It was a very old demo. In 2018 or so, I brought the demo to my band at the time, and we created a live version of that song that was nothing like the recording that you hear. The recording was so weird and had a lot of auto-tune and higher-pitched and lower-pitched vocals. We had a live version we played for a while that’s on Audiotree. Whenever we were recording Any Shape You Take, we started to record it the live way and realized it wasn’t feeling right. We listened to the old demo, and it gave this wake up kick to everyone. We got excited by how the demo sounded because we hadn’t heard it in so long. We realized we wanted to record it based on the demo. So that song sounds very similar to the way the demo originally sounded.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album title?

IDS: There are so many layers to the album title. [laughs] It came to me mostly because the album takes so many musical shapes but also so many emotional shapes. It feels like a lot of the themes in the album are about change and acceptance of change and acceptance of a full spectrum of feelings of pain and grief and allowing people to take many forms. It was mainly inspired by the fact that I’ve taken so many forms in my life and am witness to the way changing forms yourself can either push people away or pull them in closer. I’ve always been so appreciative of the people in my life who allow me to take so many different forms and are still there to witness and care about me, whether we’re close to each other or far away. That’s the main reason I wanted to call the album Any Shape You Take. The most beautiful kind of love you can have is allowing someone to be themselves and shift in and out of things freely.

SILY: Is your live show faithful to the studio versions of the songs, or did you have to learn how to adapt the songs to the stage?

IDS: A lot of them sound very similar to the recording. We’ve been having so much fun practicing them and playing them live.

SILY: Is there one in particular you’re most looking forward to playing?

IDS: I love playing “Bad Dream”. That’s just a crazy song to play live because it’s so loud and rowdy. [laughs]

SILY: You have that falsetto in the middle of it, too.

IDS: Yeah. It’s so fun.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching lately that’s caught your attention?

IDS: I’m excited that one of my favorite authors, Tao Lin, just put out a book I haven’t been able to get fully into. It’s called Leave Society. I just got it in the mail last week. Other than that, I’ve just been so, so busy with interviews and work on the computer and with my manager, staying on top of this crazy shift happening on top of my life. I haven’t taken in a lot of media. I was just watching Love Island recently because I wanted to shut my brain down. Somebody was telling me about Sexy Beasts last night, which sounds insane. I’m excited to watch that.