#we worked really hard on this
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jamie watch out! oh no he can’t hear us he’s got his airpods in
*spams self-promotional fic art after a month of no content* hi may i introduce you to our religion
@imdeadtiredtm and I bring you Chapter two of Apotheosis, Wreckage Wrought, aka The Bennett’s Take Charge: In which we introduce Mrs Joyace Bennett as a spunky mom and hell of a woman, where Jamie is a little shit and a nerd for all things spooky, and Sophie is a mastermind who can’t talk but makes herself heard anyways. Go check it out, our souls are for sale :))
#IT TOOK THREE MONTHS FIVE REWRITES AND A HOUSE FIRE BUT THE CHAPTER IS HERE#rain us in comments it keeps us partially going#we worked really hard on this#we kept going back and forth#The moment we thought it was DONE we'd go:#you know what would be even BETTER#so. three months later#here we have#enjoy#jamie bennett#jamie bennett fanart#Jamie bennett is neurodivergent no doubt#Mrs Bennett#Joyace William Bennett#she's a n awesome yet hopefully realistic mom#sophie bennett#hijack au#hijack fic#hijack#how to train your dragon#rise of the guardians#rotg#httyd#rise of the guardians jamie#rise of the guardians sophie#rise of the guardians fanart#my art#fic art#note draws things
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yesterday I went to a little meeting at my local queer community center and I was admiring their bookshelves and mentioned that I work at the public library and someone said "well I bet they don't have any [LGBTQ+ books] at our library" and I was like um. yes we do. we have tons of them. half of our employees are queer leftists so they said "oh well I bet they don't in [nearby rural county]" and I was like uh once again yes they absolutely do. gay people live and work there as well
so here's a quick reminder that if you don't think your local library has enough queer centered materials you should actually check before assuming, and if you're not satisfied with their collection you should submit a request for more such books. I don't know what the political landscape of libraries looks like outside the us rn, but within the us no matter where you are, I promise you there are employees at your library fighting for inclusion and intellectual freedom and they can't win without vocal public support
#literally maddening thing to hear#we were fucking at pride this year#i know missouri is a hell hole but there are people working really fucking hard to make it better and we could use some support here#just fucking go to your local libraries website right now literally right this second#and look around#you may be shocked at the stuff you discover there
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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Oooo I love the way you draw Jeff he's cute <333
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/48e2aefcafd1b2b420cc9816f62d1273/29caa464cf5895b2-a3/s540x810/a3033e6997eb7da1749dc21237af90db703c0f5e.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d4008587548c61bae2842e48c961f86f/29caa464cf5895b2-fd/s540x810/8929e5aa984d5b435c3307ec78d6285f28250e7b.jpg)
I hope I did Jeff justice.. gotta love tired men
#ask reply#I’m unsurprised that yall here were immediately into Jeff#we love some pathetic guys#TBH I ACTUALLY really like Jeff’s character#despite being so tired he actually really nice to Oswald#never scolding him or questioning hard to why he’s at the pizzeria#mean from his POV he probably just sees Oswald needing a place to stay#while his parents work so why ever integrate him#Jeff doesn’t even mind when Oswald walks into the backroom to talk to him#JEFF IS chill he’s a homie#no doubt I’ll be drawing him and Oswald again soon#I’m a sucker for tired incompetent adult and their spunky more competent kid#Mike and Abby now Jeff and Oswald#peak I love them all BAHA
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do you shake the tweels to make them glow or do you crack them like a glowstick
thank you @comedydoctor18 😭
#one of the only times i ever draw the twins#and it's not even serious#and it’s a quick one#if i find an excuse i’ll draw them properly#i know that’s not how bioluminescence works LMAO#it’s just a really funny concept that cracked me up 😭#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#floyd leech#-✦—]#we ignore this hard pivot from my previous posts#you didnt see anything
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10000 years in the making, it's my SONA my girl my rotten cheese my badtime boy my sour soldier....already in love with her <3 <3 <3
#my art#oc#chalk#fursona#anthro#furry#rat#illustration#LOVE HER for real.....a worrying and conceited amount perhaps#i've been trying to design a sona on and off for at least five years at this point and it never worked#in november last year i was trying soooo hard to make a bat sona work and just could not click with it#then i was hanging out with my friend and we were calling ourselves nasty rats as usual and the furry implications hit me#was like okay FINE i will try out the rat. immediately in love and obsessed with no effort whatsoever#granted i was extremely self-indulgent by making yet another furry black oc with a bald/light-coloured snout#but it's my sona what am i to do?#anyway yippeeeee i guess i really am a furry
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b9fb8caefb7517de0c42dd94953bcd39/13ceadb4af8872e9-14/s540x810/c4057f3173f1865ec9f10e371a162006e541b35c.jpg)
For the Laicion nation (aka, me and three other people)
I had this illustration commissioned (a big thank you to @lunehowls) for my werewolf AU Laicion fic (still a WIP).
The general pitch is as follows :
AU in which Laios never got to meet his sister again, putting his life on a whole other path, a more desperate one. A military deserter with barely a coin to his name, Laios hitches a ride on a boat to one of the elven continents, where he learns about magical tattoos that binds one’s soul to a wolf’s, effectively making them artificial werewolves. Illegal magic be damned, this feels like the answer to… everything.
In the process, he learns about the existence of an illegal fighting ring in one of the elven cities, where beastmen gladiators gather. Freshly tattooed and without anywhere else to go to, Laios decides to head there, where he meets Lycion, an elf and artificial werewolf gladiator. If they first bond over a simple shared meal, by spending time together (sharing the same room in the barracks, maybe the same bed? gasp) they find that they have a lot in common, notably a shared distaste for the body they were born in, a dysphoria partially remedied by becoming a werewolf.
They bond :)
NB: I commissioned another piece, go take a look :D
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#lycion#laicion#I'm heads deep in research regarding Ancient Rome gladiators... and loving it. Really fascinating stuff.#I bemoan the fact that most papers are locked behind a paywall (though I found one that gives a free pdf access)#(and no. Sci-hub is not an option. It's blocked in my country)#I'm also re-reading DunMeshi and taking notes to get a better grasp of Laios and Lycion as characters. Character studies if you will#and I still need to fully outline the fic#I know where I'm starting (struggling to choose a POV for that first chapter LOL) and where I'm ending so there's that#and a bunch of disconnected scenes (as we all do ahaha)#anyway. Doing all of this while studying for veterinary school. It's hard. I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying...#let's just say I don't expect the prep work for the fic to be ready before this summer (+ I need to finish the Kuro cosplay for Japan Expo)#hopefully; once it's done; I'll be able to set a schedule and write smoothly#werewolf#werewolf laios#rarepair#Fy posts
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[ID in alt sorry forgot to put that there] Idk this side character's name in the latest episode but I need to see more of her immediately
Like her being characterized as being a little confused. Then she just fucking whales on Evbo once he explains the mechanics to her. What a menace. Love that for her.
Also he teaches her how to crit the PARALLELS Like I'm already imagining the shit shes getting up to. She has no lines. She simply swings and stares directly at things with zero thought behind those green eyes. Update: She is drawn. Look at her. And her brainless eyes.
#pvp civilization#pvp civ spoilers#<- in a way#her skin is also just really cute like the sweater and the iron armor over it and the knee pads#girl is prepared#she has one braincell to her name but by god does it work so hard#we have yuri potential if she gets to the diamond sword level
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it’s been almost a year now… is the bg3 fandom finally ready to talk about how gale’s “hubris” is the sole product of actively feeding his insecurities further and straight up denying him help & guidance when he was at his lowest and needed it most. it’s not one of his core traits and never was. he isn’t some closeted power hungry monster that is just waiting to be enabled. what he wants is admiration, recognition and acceptance. which is also what he sought from mystra before the orb disaster happened. he had no desire whatsoever to become a god himself or challenge her rule, he simply wanted to be seen as sufficient in her eyes (“to serve her better”). to be as equal as he could possibly be in a relationship with a literal deity. he has a deep passion for magic and knowledge that affects almost all areas of his life and enjoys the display thereof. he wants to be the smartest person in the room and enjoys when his work is recognized. he may be perceived as arrogant when it comes to his skill, but he IS NOT hubristic. it truly takes so little for him to be wholly content.
#this is such a fundamental misinterpretation of his character and really grinds my gears#i feel like we really gloss over the fact that he sees the crown as an alternative to NOT DYING#and not something he secretly wanted all along#an option to finally prove that he is ‘worthy enough’#either of himself or the person he’s with#whenever another post pops up talking about how astarion and gale are so similar another angel loses its wings#bg3#astarion was always corrupt long before cazador happened. and even after he seeks power for safety and control#(and partly because of the fun of it)#meanwhile gale? my guy just wants to live. read books. eat good food and be a great wizard recognized for his hard work#gale dekarios#it speaks#neme rambles#i forgot to censor my tags but i’m on mobile so oops
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fun detail I only put into context after seeing the post-fade jail romance scenes with all the companions: lucanis is the only one where rook is surprised when they realize he's there as he starts talking, because they didn't hear him come in haha. (Bellara and Neve knock before entering, like relatively normal people fhsda. Harding's scene starts in medias res but from the staging my vibe is that she and Rook entered the room together. Taash walks into the room ahead of Rook. Davrin comes in through a door left open for him -- Rook is standing with their back turned but they clearly expected him, they just smile a bit and don't seem surprised. Emmrich of course takes you to the Grand Necropolis for the top goth hookup since Mary Shelly fucked on her parents' graves, the man quite simply never misses.)
lucanis has also closed the door behind him without rook noticing. old assassin habits die hard I suppose lol. he totally still accidentally jumpscares the others without meaning to all the time because he moves around quietly when he doesn't think about it, I know this in my heart. I wonder if he was just... looking at them for a while before he spoke up.
#harding's romance is SO so cute. none of my planned characters have the vibes to match it I don't think but fereldan girl has GAME#top 3 companions with rizz: emmrich (!!! indisputably. no debate just the truth) davrin harding.#bellara. you're doing wonderfully sweetie rook likes you just as you are. it's only a fumble if it doesn't work fdhksaj#neve would have more rizz if she wasn't constantly being jumpscared by her own stupid inadvisable longing I get the sense#like the actual post-fade jail scene with the door closing? she's right up there with the main three. and yet she is Afraid (oh neve)#lucanis has that ineffable such a profound lack of rizz it loops around to irresistibility element that speaks specifically to me.#so I cannot be impartial about this. you should know my biases by now I wear them proudly on my sleeve#and taash is more in that category too and I would die for them#all the people complaining that lucanis doesn't flirt back enough... you have misunderstood the vibes profoundly.#that guy was for me. and the disasters like me#what *you* really want is harding. she knows what she's doing AND she'll treat you right#she'll winky face emoji you right from the start and on her own initiative CONSTANTLY and it's so good#rook and harding even have the rogue and gambit 'can't touch each other's bare skin' tension heightening thing#bellara's scene when she gets blighted that apparently kicks in at the end of the game also. really special to me. babygirl.#I want to give you the world. it's okay that you tried to kill me we all have off days#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I suppose I should have done a proper separate post of this instead of a tag rant. but here we are lmao#for good or for ill i remain myself
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dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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headcanon that annabeth is such a quick and messy eater. fingers covered in sauce. crumbs on the side of her mouth. always choking on her food. but it just stems from years of her never being safe enough to enjoy a meal. because she spent so long running that the only way she can find time to breathe is if she rushed through her meals. even well into adulthood. free of the dangers of being on the run. she still struggles to slow down.
#percy has to sit down with her and walk her through her meals#they start off with small snacks like a bag of chips from a vending machine#and slowly work their way up to bologna sandwiches#(this one was really hard for her but they got through it)#just things i think our girl goes through#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth headcanon#annabeth headcanon#annabeth angst#i love annabeth#we love annabeth
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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