#we will see if that happens sooner or later

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Can I request one where Reader is emotionally unavailable and doesn't believe in love but Bucky has been harboring a long time crush on her and is in love with her but it's unrequited. Reader's parents were divorced and didn't have a good marriage (Reader's mom was abused by her dad) and the relationships of the people closest to her like friends and relatives also weren't that good either and she had also met not so many great men and some were abusive as well so she just became pessimistic and stopped believing in love and doesn't think true love exists. He's trying to get her to change her mind on love,romance and relationship/marriage and has been trying to tear down the walls she's built around herself so she would give him a chance. His efforts didn't go unnoticed and Reader finally realized how much Bucky really loves her and how deep his feelings run for her and started reciprocating. She let him take her out on dates and as she spends more and more time with him,she slowly falls in love with him too. She finally realizes how amazing he is and what a beautiful soul he has. Happy endings all around,of course! Bonus if there's a fast forward years later where Bucky proposed and they got married and finally got their happily ever after.

Love Exists » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky tries to get you to believe that love exists again.

Warnings: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, language, mentions of divorce (reader’s parents), mentions of past abuse/bad relationships, crying, kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the beautifully descriptive request, nonnie🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.

For as long as Bucky has known you, he’s always had a huge crush on you. It’s no secret. He always makes it obvious. He gets butterflies in his stomach and his heart skips a beat every time he sees you. He always shows you little pieces of affection. He doesn’t always expect you to show him affection back. He just wants you to know that he’s always there for you when you need him. In other words, the former Winter Soldier is a big softie for you.

Bucky knows about what happened between your parents, abuse and divorce. He also knows you didn’t have good relationships with other people like relatives and friends. What he doesn’t know is what happened with guys you dated in the past, which resulted in abuse. You just don’t want him to think you’re broke and unlovable. You now believe that love doesn’t exist anymore. It’s something you came to terms with after being in not so great relationships.

Bucky has always been a great friend to you, which makes you feel bad for not telling him about what actually happened in your past relationships. You want to tell him, but at the same time, you don’t want to. You feel like he’ll stop being your friend cause you didn’t tell him sooner.

You and Bucky haven’t seen each other in a few days due yo him being on a mission. Today, Bucky wants to take you out to lunch. Not as a date. He just wants to hangout with you. He bought your favorite flowers before going to your house.

“Hi, Bucky.” You greeted softly, stepping aside to allow him to come inside.

“Hi, doll.” Bucky smiles, handing you the bouquet of flowers.

You gave him a small smile as you took the flowers out of his hand. You went to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase with water. Bucky followed behind you.

“Do you want to go out to lunch or something?” He asks.

“Sure.” You answered. “What restaurant do you have in mind?” You asked.

“We can go to your favorite restaurant if you want. My treat.” He says sweetly.

“Ok.” You say with a small smile.

When you and Bucky got to your favorite restaurant and ordered, you two caught up with each other.

“That’s enough about me. How are you, doll?” Bucky says.

“I’m ok.” You say, fiddling with your fingers.

Bucky picked up on that. He knows it’s something you do when you’re nervous or when something is on your mind.

“What’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“It’s nothing.” You say quietly.

“It’s not nothing if something is bothering you.” He says.

You continued to fiddle with your fingers. Bucky put his hands in yours to get you to stop fiddling with your fingers.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He says.

You nodded.

“Tell me what it is.” He murmurs softly.

You stared at the table for a few seconds before saying anything and looking up at him.

“I haven’t told you everything about me.” You mumbled.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“You know how my parent’s marriage ended, right?” You say.

“Yea. Your dad hurt your mom.” Bucky says, referring to abuse.

“Well…” You nervously began. “I was also in that kind of relationship in past relationships.” You finally tell him.

Bucky’s facial expressions softened and his jaw clenched at the thought of someone laying a hand on you.

“I’m sorry you went through that.” He almost whispers.

Bucky reached a hand up to caress your cheek, but you moved back out of instinct. He quickly retracted his hand.

“Sorry.” You mumbled. “It’s something I do when people raise their hands.” You say.

“It’s ok. I understand.” He murmurs in an understanding voice.

Bucky can’t help but wonder if that’s the reason why you don’t show any kind of affection for him. He doesn’t want to pester you about it, but he wants you to know you’re loved.

The next day, Bucky texted you to come to the Avengers compound. He told you that he wants to talk to you, but he didn’t tell you what he wants to talk about.

“Hi, Bucky.” You greeted him as you walked in the lounge room.

“Hi, doll.” Bucky smiles.

“Your text said you wanted to talk.” You say. “What do you want to talk about?” You asked.

“It’s about what you told me yesterday.” He says.

You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You knew you shouldn’t have told him. Now, you’re he thinks you’re broken and unlovable and you’re probably going to lose him as your friend.

“What- What about it?” You asked nervously.

“I can’t imagine what you went through in your past relationships, but you’ll always have me. I’ll love you no matter what.” He says.

“That’s the problem, Bucky. Love doesn’t exist for me anymore.” You say.

“Of course it does, doll.” He says, trying to stay positive.

“No it doesn’t! My relationships with relatives, friends, and exes basically told me that I’m incapable of being loved. I had a hard time coming to terms with it.” You say, your eyes tearing up.

“Doll…” Bucky begins.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” You say, your voice cracking.

You stood up and left, accidentally bumping into Steve on your way out.

“Why’s Y/N crying?” Steve asks Bucky.

“She told me something personal yesterday and I stupidly brought it up.” Bucky tells him.

“It’s not stupid if you care. I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sure she’ll understand how much you care about her once you tell her.” He says.

“That’s the thing, Steve. She thinks love doesn’t exist anymore.” He says.

“Try talking to her again.” He suggests.

Bucky knows Steve is right. All he has to do is explain how love exists again and maybe, just maybe, you’ll think love still exists for you.

“You’re right. Thanks, man.” Bucky smiles.

“Anytime, Buck.” Steve smiles back, patting his shoulder.

Bucky then got on his motorcycle and zoomed through traffic to get to your house. You heard the sound of his motorcycle and opened the door before he even knocked. You hugged him before he walked inside of your house.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled against his chest.

“You don’t have to apologize, doll. I understand.” Bucky almost whispers. “Will you at least hear me out?” He asks softly.

You thought about it for a moment before nodding your head yes. Bucky gently guided you back in the house, closing the door behind him. You two went to the living room and sat down on the couch.

“What I was trying to say earlier was love does exist. You don’t have to believe it right now.” Bucky says, looking in your eyes.

“I don’t know, Bucky.” You mumbled quietly, looking down at your lap and playing with your fingers. “What if I never believe it exists?” You asked.

“You will. Just give it time.” He puts a comforting hand on your knee. “I’m saying this as the man who’s in love with you.” He says.

“Wh-What?” You asked.

“I’m in love with you.” He repeats. “I have been since we meet.” He admits.

Your bottom lip quivered and your eyes teared up. You think it’s sweet that Bucky’s in love with you, but how can someone be in love with someone who doesn’t believe love exists anymore.

“How can you be in love with someone who doesn’t believe love exists?” You asked, your voice cracking.

“I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, my heart skips a beat every time I see you, and you make me smile.” He tells you softly.

“But I’m unlovable.” You say.

“You are absolutely lovable.” Bucky gently caresses your cheek. “Give it time and you’ll feel what I feel.” He murmurs softly.

You stared in his blue eyes and nodded. Bucky gave you a kiss on your forehead.

“When you’re ready, we’ll take it slow and one step at a time.” He says, wiping your tears away.

At first you didn’t really think about it cause of your past relationships, but at the same time, it gave you a lot to think about. That’s all you thought about for the next couple of weeks. You slowly started coming around to the idea of love existing for you.

You went to the Avengers compound to talk to Bucky. You know you should’ve called or texted him first, but you just wanted to see him and tell him what you think in person. You walked in the gym to see Bucky training with Steve.

“Buck, Y/N is here.” Steve says, pointing at you.

Bucky turns around, smiling when he seen you. He cut training short with Steve to talk to you. Steve doesn’t mind. He’s just happy that his best friend is in love.

“Hey, doll.” Bucky smiles. “What’s up?” He says.

“I want to talk to you about something important.” You say. “Can we talk now or are you busy?” You asked.

“I’m not busy.” He says.

“What about your training with Steve?” You asked.

“He understands.” He says.

Bucky lead you to the lounge room so you two can talk privately.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asks.

“What you told me the last time we saw each other.” You said. “I wasn’t sure at first, but I thought about it after a while. I’m slowly starting to believe love exists for me. You made it sound believable.” You say.

“Doll, that’s great! I’m happy for you!” He exclaims softly.

“I’m in love with you too.” You admitted. “But I’m scared.” You say.

“Scared of what, doll?” He asks.

“Of getting hurt in more than one way.” You say in almost a whisper, your voice cracking and your eyes tearing up.

“I won’t ever hurt you in the ways your exes did. I’m not that kind of man. If anything I’ll protect you.” He says softly.

“Promise?” You asked.

“I promise.” He promises in a soft whisper.

Bucky gave you a soft kiss on your cheek before looking in your eyes and holding your hands in his.

“Can I take you on a date?” Bucky asks softly.

“Yes.” You smiled.

This smile is bigger than the other ones he has seen. His heart skipped a beat when he seen it.

“Is tomorrow night at 7pm too soon for you?” He asks.

“No, but I’m nervous. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date.” You say.

“It’s ok. I haven’t been on a date in a while either. I assure you it’ll be nice.” He says.

You smiled and nodded. You stood on your tippy toes and kissed his cheek, making his heart flutter in his chest.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Bucky says.

“You too.” You says.

Bucky smiles as he watched you walk away. That smile remained on his face for the day.

The next day, as your date with Bucky got closer, your nerves set in even more. You weren’t having second thoughts about your date with him or anything. You just feel even more nervous. A little bit of your nerves calmed down when you got a text from Bucky.

Bucky: I’m on my way

You: I’ll be waiting

You turned your phone off and looked in the mirror. You took a deep breath and smoothed out your dress and made sure you look nice for Bucky. More nerves settled in when Bucky knocked on the door. Your heart started pounding. You took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Wow…” Bucky was stunned by your beauty. “You look gorgeous.” He compliments.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yes.” He smiles.

“Thank you.” You smiled back. “You look handsome.” You complimented.

“I think we both know you’re the one with all of the beauty, doll.” He compliments again, making you blush. “You ready for our date?” He asks.

“Yes.” You smiled.

Bucky held his hand out for yours. You put your hand in his and you two left for yours and his date.

“Are you still nervous?” Bucky asks.

You nodded your head yes.

“It’s ok. You have me.” He assures softly.

Bucky treated you like a princess the whole night, the way you’re supposed to be treated. Unlike how you were treated by your exes. Bucky’s love for you is real and you’re starting to believe more that love exists still for you.

“Bucky?” You say softly.

“Yes, doll?” Bucky asks.

“Thank you getting me to believe that love still exists for me, even though it took a while.” You say.

Bucky smiles and picked up your hand, bring it to his lips and kissed it softly.

“You don’t have to thank me, doll. I’m happy you’re able to believe in it again.” He says softly.

Bucky’s eyes glanced down at your lips and then looked deep in your eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks.

“Yes.” You answered.

Bucky’s hand gently caressed your cheek and leaned in, kissing you softly, sweetly, and passionately. Your hands grasped his shirt, clutching the fabric in your hands. You quickly melted into his touch. His lips felt soft against yours and moves in sync with yours. You two smiled against each other’s lips. As you two continued to kiss passionately, you could see a future with Bucky. Bucky can see that same future with you.

———

“Where are you taking me, baby?” You asked with a small giggle.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, babydoll.” Bucky says, kissing your cheek.

Bucky told you he had a surprise for you. He blindfolded you for it. He’s carefully guiding you to where the surprise is, which happens to be in yours and his favorite spot in the park.

“You can take the blindfold off now.” He says.

You took the blindfold off, gasping softly. There were rose petals in the shape of heart on the ground.

“Bucky, this is-” You turned around, gasping again when you seen Bucky down on one knee with a small velvet box that has the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen in it.

“I love you more than anything in this world, doll. You mean so much to me. Would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” He asks softly.

“Yes!” You answered happily with tears of joy rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky smiles widely and put the ring on your finger. He stood up and kissed you passionately, holding you close to him. You then looked at the diamond ring on your finger, smiling widely.

“Mrs. Barnes has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” Bucky says.

“It has a beautiful ring to it.” You agreed with a smile, kissing him softly.

———

You woke up to the sound of waves outside and the sun shining through the window of yours and Bucky’s honeymoon suit. You rubbed your eyes and stretched. You turned over, met by your husband’s loving gaze.

“Good morning, Mrs Barnes.” Bucky murmurs, kissing you good morning.

“Good morning, Mr. Barnes.” You murmured back softly.

“I have the most gorgeous wife.” He almost whispers, caressing your cheek and looking deep in your eyes.

You couldn’t help but blush and smile uncontrollably. You’re finally Bucky’s wife and he’s finally your husband.

“I love you so much, baby.” You whispered.

“I love you more, babydoll.” He whispers back.

Bucky’s love for you and his vows to you is prove enough that love exists and you have him to thank for it. You feel more than lucky to have a man like him as your husband. You’re going to spend the rest of your life cherishing that love.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[nowheredreamer]

healing soul

Ridoc x reader

Warnings: mild spoilers of Iron Flame

A/N: Hey everyone this is my first fanfic in a loooooong time, like in probably ten years, so I am a little rusty, so be patience. Also english is not my first language so you may find some incohernet things, but I think I did the best to convey what I wanted. So if you find any error please feel free to tell me, and I would also apreciate any feedback because like I said it's been more than 10 years, so any critiscism, feedback, comments are welcome. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy xoxo

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Ridoc didn’t have  many rules regarding his loving life, the man likes to explore the small and big pleasures that life has to offer. But that was a certain primary standard on his life, especially his rider life, that wouldn't trespass his love life. 

One of them was that he didn’t sleep with cadets, not now that he was in his second year. 

The second one was not sleeping with his squad's flings, they were a family after all and Ridoc did NOT like family feuds. 

And his third and last one was he didn't sleep with infantry, scribes or healers. 

It isn't like Ridoc didn't find some of them attractive, he did. But as a rider he just found them  inferior or boring. It was a standard for him, even though in the last months getting with some of the riders wasn't too appealing for him, now that the first year was over most of the riders felt like his family, it was weird being attracted to someone of your family.

And that would have stayed true if it weren't for a certain girl. Ridoc hadn’t thought much of her, but his second year was a little bit rougher sending him a few times to the infirmary. That is where he met the  apprentice healer for the first time.

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Havoc. Wildness. Despair. Chaos. Those were the words that Y/N would refer to at this moment.  Cadets and riders were entering the infirmary left and right, the smell of smoke and burned meat infiltrared her nose. Madness. She had not figured out yet what had happened, and she couldn't definitely understand what would have happened to leave so many students burned, burned by flames of a dragon. 

But she couldn’t focus on that right now, not when another cadet, with his body so burned that she could see the bone of his cheek, was put in the infirmary bed before her. 

“Holy shit.” Her friend gulped. Gods, even though this was their second year, she and her classmates have not seen such damage like that before.They have dealt with burns before, I mean learning to deal with burning degrees from dragon flames were a basic thing on their learning, but they haven’t ever dealt with this kind of level.

Both girls pushed their emotions aside so they could start attending to the poor boy, who was now crying of pain.

“You're gonna be okay, we are going to treat you then your body can heal and take the pain away, and it will heal, you will be fine.” She reassured the poor boy.

“ I wanna go home, please.” His voice came with nothing but a small begging whisper, both learners looked at each other. She had a lot of respect for what the riders did once they graduated, but She could never understand or accept the brutal ways they did to get to graduation point. 

She took his hand on hers while attending a small burn on his elbow and promised that everything would be okay. She  didn’t want to lie to him, but the only things she could do right now was trying to offer a little comfort. 

“You shouldn’t lie to him.”  A graved tone came from her back, she turned around to see a man, standing on the bed beside the one was attending. - “He’s gonna learn that this place is not for the weak sooner or later.” - The brown hair man said, his tone was serious and he looked at you like riders normally looked at anyone who wasn’t a rider. She shrug at his ignorant words and kept working on the boy laid in front of her until one of  her professor came to continue since the boy's burns degree was way more grave than students could secure.

Then she turned to face the bed beside where the rider, from the fourth wing as his (emblema) showed , was still waiting. 

“Do you need help too or are you just here to supervise our work?”  She said with sarcasm and accusation. Before he could answer, Jonah, her friend and classmate, who was attending to the boy on the bed chimed in.

“His friend has some second degree burns but I’m already taking care of it, but I can see a slight burn on his back.”  Jonah said while putting some leaves on the boy's arm and pointing with his chin to the annoying man on my side indicating that he also had been injured. 

“I’m okay, I don’t need help.” The rider said before I could say anything. She gave him an annoyed look while appointing a chair nearby.

“If you’re here we can’t let you leave without doing a check up first. Let me do my job and this will be over so you can go back to mounting dragons.” He let out an annoyed sound but followed her  to the chair. “Can you please take your shirt?” Her question left as soon as he sat on the chair wanting to get rid of him as quickly as she could.

“Wow there, people usually go on a date first, although healers are not really my type.” His tone was full of mischief but also tardiness, like the joke came automatically to him.  

“Oh my poor heart, how am I going to live after this?”  Her voice was so flat at this point that the man just slightly flinched and took his shirt off. She went behind him, and he really had a burn on his back, but it was a first degree, probably just needing disinfection and then some medication to calm the skin. She grabbed the cloth putting one hand on his back to stabilize him and he instantly gave a slight flinch.

“Gods, your hands are freezing.”  He said rapidly between teeth.

“Good thing for someone who has a burn on his skin.”  She put my hand on his back again while gentlying using the cloth to clean his injury. A shiver ran down his spine, not even the largest, biggest rider was immune to pain.

His strong back tensed with each contact, pulling his muscles together on his beautiful tanned skin. Gods, riders and their fucking beautiful bodies. It was rather annoying actually, but they definitely made up with their personality, especially this one. So annoying.

“Are you trying to kill me or something, woman?” He hissed again, pushing his back away from me. 

“Crybaby” she whispered to herself while grabbing him by his shoulder and continuing to work on his back, but she Guessed her whisper wasn't as silent as she expected because he whipped his head around to look at her. She stared back with a pointing look, and he just smirked and turned around. And a small smile threatened to appear on the girl’s lips.

After finishing up on his back, she started checking for any more injuries on his backside, finding a small one on his neck right on the line where his thick brown wavy hair started. She asked for him to look down and gently touch his stiff nape, and he immediately reacted.

“Sorry.” She apologized knowing from experience that most people were very sensitive around their necks. 

“It 's okay.” He assured me gently, unlike his interaction with her before. He settled his body back to her again and started cleaning the burn with the most delicacy that she could. She still could see the shivers that went on his body, and for a minute it felt like there were just she and him on the infirmary, she was so focus on his responsive body and trying to be gentle with him that her brain fogged the cries, the whimpers, the pain shouts. It was just her and the nameless beautiful rider. She shook my head finishing up and turned around to see if there were any injuries on his front. And she thanked the gods that her cheeks had not heated.

“I'm just gonna do a final check up before we are done.”  His face lifted to the sound of her voice and when his eyes met hers, she could see something sad then, but quickly his facial features turned on the playful side again. She rolled her eyes and quickly moved to do her job, checking pupils. Checking for concussion, and lastly checking his abdomen to see if it had any injuries, and she swore she would try her hardest to not linger too much on his strong body. 

“Do you need more time to check up on me up?” He asked so smudged that she could hear the smirk on his lips. She rolled my eyes again. 

“You are done. I would recommend not wearing anything too tight and sleeping without a shirt and on the front side to avoid inflammation, giving access for your skin to heal and breathe.” She recited the recommendations almost automatically since it wasn't the first or last time she would be saying that tonight. Before he could answer, Noah stepped beside me.

“Sorry to interrupt but Leith it’s looking green again and I think he's going to… “ He hesitated looking at the rider seated in front of them paying close attention to them. But she didnt need for Jonah to complete, she knew, Leith was a really great student, if not one of the bests in class, but when came down to the practical part of it, especially on this case when wasn’t not a premeditated test, he would let his emotions ruled him, and she personally believe that he had an aversion for certain lacerations.

“ I’m finished here, I’m going to check on him, how severe is the situation?” And his face changed the minute the question left her lips, he also didn't need the words, she could see on his face. She gave him a small nod, and he left. She counted to ten to steady her breath, this was going to be a long night. When she turned to the man still seated, his eyes were already searching hers, eyes that once again show that tiredness that she saw before, his eyebrows were lower and slightly closer. And in that instant the man who had looked at her with disdain, sarcasm and playfulness, now had what she accessed as a worried look, and sincere one. She fidget her hands on her coat, not used to the kind of expression, not towards me at least.

“Remember to follow my instructions and unless if you have a family member or someone real close to you, please go to your courts, this place it's already too packed up tonight.” His expression changed to neutral and he lifted from the chair, with that done she turned to go find Leith, when his voice reached me in a low tone.

“Thanks, I am Ridoc, by the way.”

She was surprised and studied his face, his brown light eyes and the soft strands of his hair sticking on his sweaty forehead. 

“Y/N. And I hope I don't see you here again.” she turned before he could answer and went to take care of the poor young life they were about to lose.

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

[art-sprees-in-spare-time]

Ven's look of anger became confusion. "Wha-Darkness-?"

"What the fuck just happened??" Van's voice cut him off. Ven whipped around in surprise as his brother got his feet. Not seeming to notice Ven, Van stormed right past him to his other self.

"What the hell, man?! Why'd you just knock me out for no reason?" He crossed his arms, looking uncharacteristically pissed. "All I wanted to know was if you felt anything. But noooo you just go straight to violence!"

For a split second, Van's irises flashed gold. His expression dulled, his face seeming to say, Do not tell them. It passed as quickly as it came, and to Van it was nothing more than a blink of his eyes.

"Van, he didn't say that he hurt you..." Ven said cautiously. While he wasn't too trusting of this Vanitas, he didn't know how he'd react to Van's shouting.

"Not now, Ven," Van snapped. Then he blinked and looked over his shoulder. "Wait, why's Ven here?" His hand immediately flew to his pocket. "Where's my phone?" He ran back over to Ven peeked over his shoulder. "Aha!" He snatched the phone from the ground. "Did you text Ven? I didn't tell you my login info!"

"Huh, that explains why it was so blunt," Ven said. "Y'know, you do have a really bad habit of allowing people to see your password." he pointed out. Van simply facepalmed in annoyance.

"You really didn't have to text him," he sighed, before wrapping his brother in a tight sibling hug. "Sorry if we freaked you out. I literally have no clue what happened. Except for the fact that you knocked me out!" he called over to Vanitas angrily.

Ven shrugged, a small smile appearing. "'S fine. It was pretty scary traveling outside of the Lanes Between, but I figured I should learn sooner than later." He carefully removed his armor, still wary of the other Vanitas.

This being his first time seeing the Unhuman form, Van was naturally a little disturbed.

"...Uh...F-Fangs? Y...you good buddy?"

(sorry jumping right in on this XD)

based on this prompt

The monster heaved with a breath filled with malice. Unlike his average Unhuman form which took on attributes of his Unversed, how he looked now was more reptilian.

He slinked across the floor on all fours, stalking Van like prey.

He saw Van as prey.

(see here for the Origin Form design)

[zshiftsrealities]

PERCIEVENCE AND EXPECTATIONS

your expectations are directly linked to your manifestations and them becoming a reality. and how you percieve things around you is a reflection of what your expectations are. just like how they say every misunderstanding is a confession of your view on something, your reaction to the 3d and your percievence of it is a confession of what you actually believe in. because if you believe what you want will show up, you won't be getting angry about “not seeing it” because you know that it will show up.

what you focus on, you see more of it. if today I start focusing on seeing red cars around me, i'm gonna start seeing red cars around me, and then i'll have a thought like “woah, didn't know there were so many red cars”, because there weren't until I decided to start seeing them. so instead of focusing on how your desire “isn't showing up”, focus on the knowing of “it will show up, sooner or later”.

I often have this thought of “yeah I guess it's somewhat true that our mind controls the reality we see. but there are so many instances where stuff happened and I didn't even think of it, or what I thought of didn't happen. so did the law not work then?”, and then i'm annoyed because I seriously can't be pissing myself off right now 😭 like be fr, which side are you on?

but on a serious note, I realized why that would be the case, and it has everything to do with your self concept and your percievence of things around you. because yeah, I did want something to happen and the the opposite of it did. why? because I was so deep in this mindset of “everything was happening for the worst” and “I don't deserve good things” blah blah blah. so obviously (🙄), that's exactly what happened. what I believed in was what showed up.

I just today read one of Neville's books online and as I was getting ready to take a nap, I was dissecting everything I read and this thought appeared.

“see what you want to see, to see what you want to see.”

— zshiftsrealities, 2025 (lol)

you have to see it in imagination to see it in reality. and if you continue seeing the opposite of it, then don't be upset if that shows up because — as much as it sucks to hear it — that's your own doing. because what you expect is what will be. you will never see something show up for you unless you expect it to do so first, whether consciously or subconsciously. and the irony of it all is, you don't even have to be too specific with this expectation. you can just today start expecting only good things happening to you, and whatever you consider as “good” will start happening. same with the bad, and same with the “unimaginable”.

everything that happens to you, happens for your own good, never against you— unless you think it does. and then it will. because nothing has any meaning attached to it other than the meaning you give it. you choose to perceive something the way you percieve it, so percieve it in a way you want it to appear and show up for you.

it's not a matter of it being possible or not, nor of whether it can be manifested or not— it's the matter of if you think you deserve it or not. because if you think you don't deserve something, you simply cannot have it. similarly, if you think you deserve it, then it doesn't matter how impossible it seems— you will have it.

so just be “crazy” and believe everything is working in your favor 24/7, because it is. believe that what you see as a bad circumstance is actually just all in your head, and is actually somehow in your very favor, because it is. believe that nothing can ever work against you, because it simply can't. the point of existence of everything is to be working in your favor, and if it was to not do that, then it simply wouldn't exist anymore.

your enemy isn't your thoughts or your mind, it's that little voice in your head that disguises itself as you and fills your mind with bullshit thoughts. and it's only there because you think it's you. it's not! anything that is affirming something that's against what you want is not you. because you know, you wouldn't do something like that. so identify this little monster and pick it apart until nothing's left of it. until it doesn't have a voice anymore, or any place in your mind.

also, read these two points, and had a huge “eureka!” moment.

“you do not command things to appear by your words or loud affirmations. such vain repetition is more often than not confirmation of the opposite.”

— Neville Goddard, At Your Command

because I get the point, repeat affirmations to make your mind believe them. works wonders, I know. but some minds are just so awfully stubborn that the more you affirm, the more they clap back and try to shut you out instead.

the more you focus on your “desire” by repeated affirming, or by affirming every single detail about it, the more it starts to create doubts about it actually coming to pass.

“commands, to be effective, must be short and to the point.”

— Neville Goddard, At Your Command

so, make it short, just like I said before— just expect good to happen. be specific and be general about it at the same time. that's it. how hard is it? try saying it to yourself, “from now on, only good will happen to me”. do you hear your mind going “nuh uh”? no, because why would it? (if you do, your mind needs some serious beating, i'm not even kidding).

but the point is, when you start expecting something, you start thinking of it actually appearing, and the feeling of it already being here naturally comes with it. like, say you post something (on any platform), and now you're expecting for other people to see it and like it. your mind would “naturally” be visualizing this happening without you even wanting it to (or atleast is the case with me). try it even. it's actually that easy. that's what they mean when they say it's easy. because it's easy. don't try to reason with this and make it difficult. accept it is easy and move on and actually get what you want.

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Remembering I can draw fanart for my own fics, SO BEHOLD! The most mentally sound halves of a fusion imaginable! Technically a redraw of art I did way earlier for the same fic! Flexing my art muscles and thinking about these two is good for the soul. Love them. Bastards to write though. I can't wait to write them fused back together, but we're not here yet and it's AGONY.

[dreamyintersexouppy]

idk i do like hearing peoples perspectives and arguments about transfeminism, but i believe what i believe about it because the arguments for it are effective and the evidence we have supports their conclusions. yea they also help me conceptualize events in my life through a transfeminist lens but that is what theoretical frameworks are For, they begin with the evidence and describe the experience.

i think semantic arguments and talk of empty unity and dismissing through sexualization are just as much tactics of argumentation and to me they're are highly ineffective in doing anything but making the people using them look good to an uninformed observer. its the reason we say a lot that some people here have a "vibes based politics" because it's clear from their arguments and rhetoric that they think of these arguments as a way to display an image rather than to actually have a discussion.

thats why im pissy and get upset and block people, they're just wasting peoples time for their own egos rather engaging with any of these concepts or acknowledging that what they know might not be totalizing. the desperation to have a perfect unsullied and intelligent image is why posts like mine pointing out a subtle dogwhistle will get backlash that amounts to telling me i'm making it up. i am communicating to them that there is a piece of knowledge that they might not have considered or even known is offensive to them so they reach for reactionary defenses instead of treating the trans woman in front of them like a person

[sjournsni]

It started with a mild headache, annoying to deal with but was the least pressing concern for Tia that day. She had promised to visit her friend, Amore, and her 6 month old later-will-be-revealed-name baby in the city after her postpartum care, then later on go out to eat dinner with her fiancée at his favorite restaurant chain. Today can be considered quite busy for a homebody like Tia, she wanted to meet her practically-adopted-daughter before the baby's first ceremony that'll take place later in June and maybe chat and gossip together with her friend about all their old college mates and some exes. Tia in particular has a fresh gossip she wishes to share with Amore knowing how she was cooped up in the house for all of 6 months, with not even her phone as company. None of that seems to matter though as it gets closer to the time she was supposed to leave her body seems to protest and exhaustion quickly came over her. Canceling plans makes her feel guilty but she'd never forgive herself if she infected the baby too so she lays down on the sofa all bundled up in her sweater, her spare toto plus blankets and informs her fiancée to come by and check on her if she doesn't message him in 6 hours. What makes her fall for someone like Miza was how completely assured and on-top-of things he was; as she messaged him and immediately the message was read and given a response.

The fan lazily circled with a slight whirring sound, a white noise she'd usually tune out but she couldn't help noticing, with her free time she wondered where the fever came from, yesterday was raining heavily yes but the bed was warm... Was it from work? Today is her first official rest in 2 weeks after she helped gain a breakthrough in a case. But then wouldn't it have happened sooner? She scrolls through Instagram, liked Amore's picture of Diane the baby with her eyes blurred out, found everything boring and stared again back to the ceiling and resolved to dust away what looks like the beginning of a cobweb.. somewhere between wondering what to eat for dinner and organizing information in her head, she fell asleep in peace,.

"Hey" a low voice wakes her up with gentle nudges as well, Tia with difficulty tries to open her eyes past the sleep crust and boy that must've been the best sleep of her life if she was asleep up until what looks like past 9 pm. More than 10 hours of sleep is unimaginable for the detective in her line of work. She felt refreshed all over her body and noticed the room had been warm for a while and noticed the room was a lot cleaner than before. Did Miza clean her house? Even her trash are all emptied...

"Are you good? I woke you up since I was worried you haven't eaten anything since breakfast," she sat up and he gently pulled her by her armpits and her swathe of blankets to the dining table where she sees a pot of oxtail soup and a bowl of congee. "I obviously didn't make this so don't worry you won't get food poisoning", Miza sat down on the chair in front of her and gestured to the food. "Remember how you said you craved your mom's food? Closest thing we have is at that restaurant we said we'd go this evening, I think you'll like the soup."

Tia must have been sleepy still as she stared unblinkingly at the food. This obviously isn't for Miza, it's not to his taste obviously. But she feels as if her organs are slime and he was gently kneading and twisting on it making her feel funny for a moment. The thing is this is not his first time doing something like this, between the two of them, the man tends to lavish her with gifts with some sort of chivalry mindset that he must provide for his partner. This became an inside joke between her and Miza as in her family all the wives are the sole breadwinner, they tend to playfight about this, but it has always been gifts that is nice and pretty and expensive.

The fact that this man stayed at her house, attended to her when she was sick bought her favorite food and to the side in the cup she can smell the scent of coconut and Tia remembers telling Miza about her family's tradition of drinking coconut water when they're sick. Having somebody that listens and takes care of her... feels nice. Like they're a team. She feels like she can take on 20 more cases from her agency!

Still it hits her just then that this was the man she was about to marry and spend her life with and her body feels warm.

Later, they both end up on the sofa (after Miza wiped it down) to watch his favorite movie series starring discount robin hood. Movie plot ended up being too bizarre for Tia to follow so she guffawed along with Miza even if she didn't really understand what was going on. As the clock struck 12 pm, and they're facing each other at her entryway, she debated asking him to sleep in her guest room for the night but since she was already recovering she decided against it. They parted with a gentlemanly kiss from the guy ("You might catch my fever you know?" "Then you'll have to nurse me back to health Tiana and I'm a rather annoying patient") and she goes to sleep. She could get used to depending on him more often in the future, he's the kind of help she never knew she could ask for, she thinks she made the right decision choosing him.

Prompt 2573

They knew they were getting sick. They just had to find something that helped.

[persephoneflouwers]

I sometimes wonder how much Louis is able to withstand. It’s a lot of heartbreak in a short amount of time. I got to thinking about this when I’ve been catching up on old 1D footage and even after 1D ended how they really supported each other.

A couple of things that are like daggers to the heart… that hug they shared at the last show. I know we all focused on the Larry hug but with some of these videos & tik toks people are sharing on Twitter, I really saw the Lilo hug. I teared up. They were so close even with the band ending. And then I think of Liam wearing Louis’ merch. Ugh I teared up again. Louis defending Liam on that radio show, teared up again. These darn lilo compilations lol. It’s just minutes of pure emotion. I feel like Louis once again lost such a big part of his support system that he and we thought he’d have for many years to come. Oh and the “I thought we’d share the same stage again but it wasn’t meant to be” part. And how Liam said that Louis would purposely start these water fights to make Liam smile and be like a kid again.

To see how he was publicly grieving by posting not only his statement but the pictures he posted of the 2 of them and then also posting his latest song to encourage people to stream it. It just kills me to see Louis be the next big target online. The amount of hate & wishes of harm on him so soon after Liam’s passing is gross. I hope Louis stays far away from social media and just concentrates on himself during this difficult time.

Oh, that was a bit soul cleansing lol. Sorry to bring up all of this, things just really got to me yesterday. I hope everyone can take steps to heal, I guess I realized my process might be a little longer ❤️‍🩹 Take care!

🫂

[thekimspoblog]

Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"

Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"

Demon: "You're a bad writer"

Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"

Demon: "You're a bad leader"

Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"

[touchd0wn-boy]

[prcttylittlebirds]

truthfully rafael doesn’t really know how to respond to venus right now. he knows no amount of reassurance will help repair the damage to the relationship that his life have caused. he’d say that his heart was in the right place, but did it matter? “cheating on olivia was not something i can say i’m proud of and no one deserves that. it isn’t something that I thought would go as far as it did.” he figures is time to so much explain what happened with the emails for the first time on his own account. “i was only talking to the woman at first, it didn’t start out with cheating in mind and it ended just as quick as it started. by the time olivia found the messages I had already cut off communication. i know how to be devoted, olivia and i had a lot of unresolved arguments, a lot of things we put to the side to talk about later— i’m blame for that she wanted me to be less avoidant and i wanted to her to relax more…you start seeing an older woman right after you decide that you don’t want to just have fun anymore, things get serious. i thought— well this must be it. i’ve figured it out.” he goes quiet, wondering how he got here, back at square one, not just with venus, but in general. always trying to do the right thing, trying to make the right decisions and never quite getting it right. failing at marriage and having not learned much, clearly. “i try not to avoid things too much with you, and my intentions are never to hurt you. i thought i was doing the right thing waiting to tell you about that. what you saw as a open opportunity to tell you about the emails; i saw differently. i didn’t wanna ruin our time together. it wasn’t a secret at least it wasn’t supposed to be. i needed the time to be right. i didn’t just wanna say: i cheated on my ex-wife through email. while,i’m sure sorry doesn’t mean anything, i really am sorry for not telling you sooner and that you had to find out the way you did. i’m doing to you what I did to olivia and that’s not fair.” as for chris she’s right. he does think they still have a shot. rafael knows that his jealousy can be amusing to others, chris especially. venus doesn’t take him seriously either. “christopher does have a shot, maybe not dating wise but he has a shot with you. you’ve said that yourself. still, i think my problem with him is valid. you don’t shy away from touching him either. “i’m trying to be better when it comes to communicating because I don’t want to fail again and lose you too, just because i’m worried about the outcome.”

“i’d say yes, it interests me because i haven’t really ever considered it. it’s a foreign concept to me. i don’t think anything casual is my thing? then, there’s you… i met you.” rafael believes that he can’t fully embrace the bachelor life because being with venus in any capacity makes him want to profess his love to her, knowing that it’s too early to do such a thing. being trapped in this elevator, and having deep conversations isn’t necessarily helping him pull back. “christopher gets under my skin in a way that no one has ever been able to and it’s really starting to annoy me.” he pauses, furrowing his brows. “i care about you and i know who you are and what it is you do. i know people are going to be attracted to you and flirt. christopher rattles me up to the brink of visible anger. i can’t even describe it without sounding idiotic.” rafael is grateful for her patience and genuine concern. he can tell she’s worried about him and wants to do whatever she can too keep him relaxed. the conversation and reassurance that they’ll eventually get out is helping him a lot. he looks at her sincerely. “i thought i was protecting what we had. i shouldn’t have lied. you tell me everything, i should’ve given you the same courtesy.”

[crehador]

parting thoughts on kawagoe boys sing (sort of)

there's still one unaired episode but since it doesn't have a solid release date yet i'll jot some thoughts down now before i forget everything

first of all THERE IS A TGIRL IN THIS BOYS CHOIR CLUB sadly no it is not made explicit but it is so evident, and shizuo's whole character arc was just a delight to see

unfortunately that also kind of highlights the one thing i found a bit lacking here, which is just not all the choir kids got a particularly deep/involved story. and that i suspect is just to do with the fact that the pacing is a bit wonky at best

nearly half the season (which amounts to half the series) is devoted to bringing on the choir members one (or two) at a time (mostly By Force), and the rest speeds them straight through to nationals, introducing a few (like very few) rivals along the way

that's really not enough time to dive into every character, and while sure all club anime have main characters and less-main characters, it would have been nice imo to see more personal stories here (i would've especially loved to see more with magic and hakase)

it's also very silly, like very silly, and "Not Good" in a typical sense. which understandably might be deal breakers for a lot of viewers. but personally it's silly in a way i love, and i even got way more invested in this team than i thought i would

the other potential deal breaker, the asshole in the room, is of course the pseudo-teacher who's putting this club together and leading them to nationals. haruo is... what is that one cat meme? it's not that he's evil, he lacks empathy and goes into a dissociative state and commits atrocities?

haruo's something like that except it's more like he lacks empathy and any sense whatsoever of social awareness, and if he's unbearable to you... this is not going to be a pleasant show to watch. BUT if you think he's funny as hell (which i do) then he really adds to the zaniness of the series in a good way

anyway the tl;dr is yeah, okay, admittedly this is not a Good show but it is exceptionally fun to me

also? STREAM

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

anyway back to thinking about fionna and cake for the night because simon compels me

[weisscreamcake]

former coworker/friend hasn’t talked to me since i posted on ig saying if you voted trump delete me and never speak to me again which. hmm.

[interstellarvacuumcleaner]

the electric wiring in houses usually consists of phase and the neutral wire, my guys, don't forget about neutral wire

[giraffeter]

I often see posts about curating your own online experience that make the point, “content creators aren’t your parents.” And, yes, that is absolutely true! And I try not to be like “as a parent,“ but as a parent…

EVEN PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE RESPONSIBLE READING/VIEWING BEHAVIOR. NOT filter everything ahead of time for their kid.

When my kiddo was 5, his pediatrician was asking him the usual Well Child Visit questions (“What are your favorite foods? What do you do to get your body moving? Do you know what to do if you get lost in a public place?” Etc.) and she asked, “What do you do if you see something on TV that scares or upsets you?”

I piped up like, “Oh, he doesn’t watch TV without one of us in the room,” which was true at the time and is still largely true now. She said, “Yes, but that won’t always be the case, so make sure you’re talking to him about what to do if he sees something that upsets him.”

So we started talking to him about that, and the answer is simple: “Turn it off or leave the room, and talk to someone you trust about what you saw and what you’re feeling.”

The answer is NOT “Ask your parents to make sure you never see anything upsetting again,” because that’s just not possible — and ultimately that would be doing the kid a disservice, since sooner or later he’s going to be out in the world where we can’t control what he watches or reads. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to make sure he’s watching/reading age-appropriate stuff, it just means that’s not the only safeguard he has — and that’s a good thing.

So yes, content creators aren’t your parents and aren’t responsible for making sure you never see anything you don’t like — but also, your own parents should have taught you what to do when that happens. So if they didn’t, take it from me, your internet mom:

Turn it off.

Walk away.

Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

And leave the person who created the thing that upset you alone.