#we vibed hard as hell but just not quite in compatible enough ways

[vibrantiris]

something that lives in my head rent-free is the time i accidentally exclaimed, “GIRL…” to one of my exes out of habit when i was about to spill some tea, and his immediate response was: “look, i know ours is the closest thing to a lesbian relationship that a conservative family would allow, but c’mon”

[stuffingprize]

Why ship Agon & Yoichi? It’s not just because they’re both devious geniuses who get each other somewhat—making them compatible enough that they don’t need explicit instruction from each other. It’s also that they have a long history filled with changing dynamics & drama. And because, by & large, Yoichi has a tremendous influence over Agon’s choices throughout the story. For a prideful & super talented villain like Agon, I think that’s highly meaningful!

~~Part 1~~

AGON KONGO’S EARLY DAYS - Aww man it sure is hard to be so talented

Agon is a boy with an ability that cannot be trained - his Godspeed reaction time. On top of that, he is quick to take up any physically & mentally arduous activity, has great looks, & is naturally strong as hell. And he achieves it all without much effort~ 

His early days were therefore filled with praise, admiration & envy from everyone around him, including with the one significant relationship during this moment: his twin brother, Unsui. 

Too smart for his own good, Unsui resigns himself quite early on, taking the loss as “an average athlete” and tries only to improve Agon’s prospects rather than his own.

Unsui: Then all my effort will have paid off.

Agon: Shut up. That's my plan anyway.

For Agon Kongo during this time, he probably felt there wasn’t anyone he could call an equal.. 

~

YOICHI HIRUMA’S EARLY DAYS - I’m going to that fun place now

Yoichi Hiruma as a child feels bored and understimulated. Bright but devious by nature, he one day decides to shake up his humdrum by sneaking into an American Army base at age 10, where he spends his days honing his skills in provocation and intimidation while playing poker with men much older than him. 

It is quite apparent that lying and coercion were natural skills to him.

This is also the place where he picks on the habit of carrying guns, speak in foul English, & learns all about American football. By the time Yoichi enters middle school, he’s gone through quite a transformation of looks:

Though at first, Yoichi does not consider himself suitable to playing the game himself, there is no denying he is immensely attracted to the strategic angle of it, spending hours drafting formations in his spare time.

For Yoichi Hiruma during this time, perhaps he only dreams of one day commanding a team with players of his own choosing..

~

AND THEN THEY MEET …wait, who, what, when, where, how??

So how did these two terrors meet? Unfortunately we’re not shown. It is unclear when or how they meet, but we know that it happens before Yoichi decides to play football in Middle School. 

Here’s a headcanon: The “book of threats” was likely an idea Yoichi developed long before, just never had a big enough reason to make one yet. Until he needed to. Until he found something he really wanted to pursue with a lot of obstacles in the way: American football (the man already had used cell phone collection boxes placed around..)

Thanks to a series of events in which Ryokan convinces him to play the game, Yoichi sets out to make his infamous book of threats. For that, he calls on an acquaintance for help! That acquaintance was none other than Agon.

↑This is seriously their earliest known on-screen interaction & we’re presented with this dynamic about them: Yoichi calls, Agon fetches. I know Yoichi isn’t one for pleasantries, but he doesn’t even introduce much context, he merely points to a place & Agon gets to work.

SO WHAT WE KNOW:

They meet somewhere during middle school.

They meet outside of school (no shared school)

Coincidentally Agon also goes through a transformation of looks.

Look, look.. I think it’s quite telling that out of ALL places Agon could’ve been during this very early interaction, he’s at a HAIR SALON. Like, he really really could’ve been doing anything else, or be literally anywhere else. But here we are:

The last one, he says… so they’ve already been at this!

Just IMAGINE! From the moment they meet, however or wherever that was, Agon & Yoichi clearly vibe well enough to exchange contact information & then… Agon forgoes his natural blond hair in exchange for dark dreads.

What could it be? He already wore sunglasses, is liked well & is superbly popular. But perhaps upon meeting this young man with pierced ears & bleached hair, Agon got the idea that he wanted a more intimidating look as well?

Why not? Afterall, he becomes Hiruma’s on-demand thug.

Yoichi influences Agon: +10 points! (Agon gets dreads)

And so, for the next two to three years, Yoichi & Agon apparently spend HOURS running around doing this stuff:

Agon beats people for money, Yoichi gets the blackmail. 

Ahhh yes bonding through filming naked dudes, errr.. Blackmailing, I mean. Hah? Totally normal

Yoichi influences Agon: +10 points! (Agon spends his days as Yoichi’s thug)

If their acquaintanceship formed before Ryokan meddled into Yoichi’s life, then Yoichi has a longer history with Agon than with his friends from Maou. Outside of family relationships, theirs is one of the longest-standing relationships in the series. And with long histories come moments of drama. With Ryokan Kurita in the picture, things begin to go sour.

~

I was never your friend but I thought you were mine.. a.k.a. AGON’S JEALOUSY OF RYOKAN KURITA

One of the strongest proof for me that a proud man like Agon is in fact very desperately thirsty for Yoichi’s attention is the evidence showing that he views Ryokan as an obstacle. Ryokan.. whom he would openly say is miles beneath him in terms of talent, looks, brains.. You get the picture.

It’s not “I’m glad I kicked you & your loser friends.” Was perhaps Agon expecting or hoping Yoichi would choose to drop Ryokan & still apply for Shinryuji himself? Afterall, there wasn’t anything stopping Yoichi from doing so except friendship.

These are instances where Agon isn’t insulting Yoichi. His beef is with the people Yoichi chooses to associate himself with, most prominently Ryokan & later Sena (more on Sena in part 2!!)

But why the antagonism toward Ryokan specifically? Wasn’t Gen (Musashi) also around? If Agon Kongo were a genius of interpersonal relationships, he might've figured it out. Because the truth is no one in this story changed Yoichi more than Ryokan.

Ryokan is the reason Yoichi starts playing football & why we get to the Deimon Devil Bats & the story of underdog Eyeshield 21. And while we have evidence that Unsui also plays football in middle school, that doesn’t mean Agon had any interest in it. An interaction from Riko’s interview gives us a hint:

Which suggests that when Agon found Yoichi suddenly immersed in the sport, it was something that must’ve surprised him. Meanwhile Yoichi’s comment suggests Agon followed the same “stunt” afterwards.

In fact, for Agon, the decision happened here:

Was it a mere coincidence that Agon was at this particular scene? Maybe he & Yoichi had plans to meet up later but Agon happened to arrive earlier by chance. Or maybe Agon was here on purpose..

Genius Agon who is feared, admired, & envied by all.... who is good at any sport, who has the looks & talent to potentially get anyone he wants, being put aside by someone he kinda somewhat valued..

I mean, given the time they spent together, it’s reasonable to assume Agon enjoyed hanging out with Yoichi. So this scene where Yoichi is having fun with people who have nothing to do with him, Ryokan in a Shinryuji Uniform especially, must've affected his sense of security on a subconscious level. We aren’t shown any other source of antagonism for his messing up with Yoichi's plans. The thing is, deep down, Yoichi is the closest he could consider an equal. Not like he knew it at the time.

Also, while the panel above paints Agon in a clearly antagonistic light, the original magazine run of that panel was actually juicier:

Really, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to interpret this as anger, envy, maybe even betrayal.

Yoichi influences Agon: +20 points! (Agon enters Shinryuji High School. Agon joins a football team)

And so, Agon sets out to destroy what he saw that day so badly that he really decides to attend an all-boys buddhist high school despite being a giant womanizer. And when Yoichi confronts him to try to remedy his dick move, Agon decides to cut him off as well, effectively ruining whatever sort of friendship they had.

Alas, their version of a breakup... I've also talked about Yoichi's choice of outfit in this post, heheh!

ALL TO PLAY A SPORT HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE!! Now that's some serious malevolent & jealous-driven commitment!

→Continue to Part 2→

Where I explore Agon's disinterest in Football when it doesn't involve Yoichi, his newfound beef with Sena, Deimon vs Shinryuji & beyond~

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard Volume 37

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

If you'd like to do an interview, let me know!

Let’s meet our next author:

@demora00 / Demora00

How many fics have you written?

I have 16 published fics. A few for SC aren’t published anywhere and many more for other fandoms have died with ancient websites or disappeared the way physical notebooks have a way of during various moves.

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

January 7th, 2022

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3. 

First thing, if it’s a line, or a quote, or a picture, I’ll open my prompt folder and just stick it in there to marinate and come back to when I know how to use it. 

A few times, I’ve been lucky enough to go “oh wait” and open a brand new doc right away and just start writing. Sometimes I’ll take voice notes or send voice memos to friends if I’m driving and tag them #carthoughts for quick reference. 

I rarely write in order. Most of the time, I'll start a scene, get stuck but know how I want another to go, so I'll swap. More often than not there's some frankensteining. I'll moan and whine about it to @doug-judys-blog or Trickiwoo about it throughout. I know it's finished when I've edited it so much I hate it. Finally one or both of them will beta. @doug-judys-blog is the best cheerleader I could have dreamed of. They always know how to get me out of a "no words just vibes" spiral.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

The last fic I wrote that wasn’t a drabble was about selective mutism. [Some things I still can't tel you] It’s a physical manifestation of anxiety that isn’t often spoken about except as a trauma response and I feel like I managed to capture all the other little things that come along with it in a very tangible way.  I love that Patrick, who is still a person used to struggling in private with so many things, can trust David and show vulnerability without it being a stress point for their relationship. There's something really soft about that kind of trust that ultimately very romantic to me.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

Do it. Get a beta. Get a cheerleader. (One can do both!) Hell, ask that compatible weirdo you kinda sorta vibe with in that fandom space to be a sounding board. Our fandom is so welcoming and talented, there's always someone willing to help.

In your mind, what’s the most important element of good writing?

I need writing to make me feel things otherwise what’s the point? I don't mean 'tear out my heart' intensity every time, but if the writing doesn't evoke something for me, I'll be hard pressed to keep reading. 

Tell me about a story that you wish you could write but that you’re not quite ready to tackle.

The last night Ted and Alexis have together and the aftermath of that. Really deep dive into Alexis' feels and sit with it for a while. It's somehow more tragic because we as the audience know that they are incompatible, but the love they have is real. But sometimes love isn't enough, and it's a real sign of growth for both of them, if a tragic way of doing it. 

Weirdest thing you’ve googled as research for a story?

Cowboy and rodeo terms. I don’t know that that’s weird in and of itself, but the reasons for the research were unorthodox.

Outlines - yes or no?

Yes, if not in a classic way. I usually do just point forms and terrible broken sentences, vibes, placeholders with attached comments and that works just fine. Sometimes whole conversations that need to happen but I don’t know quite where to put yet.

Tell me about your current WIP if you have one.

I have a few I’m working on and flip between as my attention span wanes, but I’m most involved in my first long fic. I don't want to give too much away, but it's a cerebral sci-fi mystery with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind vibes. I started working on it a few weeks ago and it's taken over. It's completely different than anything I've done so I'm quite nervous about it, but I've been reassured it could be as amazing as I see it in my head. I’ve already written myself into and out of a corner, so you could say it’s going well lol.

[the-cult-of-russo]

In the Stars (part 2)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Request: So, first of all, I love your writing so much. I've just finished reading "In the stars" and I've loved it! Idk if you're taking requests but I was wondering if maybe you could do a part 2?

A/N: You guys… I had so many fucking requests for part two of this, I love you. I'm honestly overwhelmed by how much you guys engage with my work on here. 

Side note; I don't actually know much about astrology so take anything I say with a pinch of salt since it's done with surface level research for this. I'm more of a tarot girl myself and originally I was gonna switch the astrology to tarot since I know all about that. But I didn't wanna deviate from the request too much so I stuck with astrology. 

Warnings: cursing, bit of fluff, idk flirting? Talk of sex but no actual sex? 

If you guys want a part three to this which would mostly be smut then hit me up lmaoooo 

-----------

You were lounging on a beat up sofa that was in the greenhouse at the back of the flower shop. The plants were watered and it was a nice day. You were taking a moment to relax and let the sun come through the glass above you like a cat basking in the warm glow. You knew a customer had come in a little bit a go. You'd heard a gruff voice ask Gemma for advice on flowers for his girl. But since you were never needed in the front, you just chilled out for a bit after popping some headphones in and vibing in the sun as you leisurely scrolled on an astrology site you were on. 

Maybe, just maybe, you'd been thinking about Mr Fancy Coffee man in the past three days since you ran right into him. You'd been sure you'd see him again at the time but it hadn't happened so far. Either way, you kept thinking back to his smile and his obsidian eyes and you smirked as you read what you'd already known when you'd called back after him to give him your own sign. 

'Aries and Scorpio Sex:

Aries and Scorpio like to turn the heat up with everything they do! So, you can imagine the bedroom as being one feisty! Aries is a fire sign, and Scorpio is a water sign. Mix fire and water and what do you get? Yes, it is steam! With this duo between the sheets, we pray the wallpaper can withstand the steam-effect! Aries and Scorpio are the same when it comes to an intense libido. They are energetic with enough energy to keep each other up all night long.'

You ripped your headphones out, tossing your phone on the worn out faded pink cushions as you bounded to the door to the main shop.

"Hey, Gem! Did you know that Aries and Scorpio are like hella compatible for sex? I mean we'd just be riding each other all ni-" your words died on your lips as you slipped through the beaded curtain to find the man from earlier who hadn't actually left yet. He was a little rough looking but he wore a look of shock and thorough amusement at your words as you smacked a hand over your mouth with a laugh. It wasn't really appropriate talk in front of a customer but even Gemma bit her lip to stifle her incredulous laughter. 

"I uh… I'm sorry," you murmured, a sly smirk on your face that said you weren't really sorry but said it anyway to be polite. He barked out a laugh and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. Sounds like a hell of a time," he replied with a chuckle. It put you at ease that he wasn't going to start something about your behaviour, threaten to take his business elsewhere. It wouldn't be the first time you'd done that. 

"Don't mind her. She's the crazy plant lady," Gemma grinned as she continued adding flowers to the bouquet on the counter. Some pretty forget-me-nots. 

"Hey! I'm not crazy just because I talk and sing to them. It's science! If I didn't do that then all these beauties would be withering away in misery," you pouted playfully, earning another laugh from your best friend and chuckle from the man. 

You looked at him then and he was already looking at you. His gaze wandered your face and hair like you held the secrets to the universe and you quirked a brow curiously. Knowing he was caught out, he glanced away and cleared his throat but his eyes flit back to you. It wasn't like you weren't used to looks since you were anything but ordinary, but he looked almost like he knew you or something.

"Sorry… just… thought I recognised you," he muttered apologetically. 

"Oh trust me, you'd know if you'd met her before. She leaves quite the impression," Gemma snorted. 

"I bet she does," the man said with a small smile as he looked at you again like he knew something you didn't. Or maybe you were imagining it.

You grinned as you walked towards the counter, leaning your arms on it as you admired her work. The bouquet was filled with purples and blues and it was breathtaking. 

"Serious relationship?" You asked casually. The man looked slightly taken aback by your bold question and Gemma swatted your arm as you gave her a look.

"What?" You asked with a huff. The man smiled and shook his head.

"Nah, it's fine. It is. Been together for a little over a year now," he had a lovesick look on his face and you found yourself smiling back at him. 

"You love her?" You asked softly. He rubbed the scruff on his chin with a bashful look that looked at odds with the rest of him as he nodded.

"That I do," he murmured fondly. 

You pushed up and leaned your hands on the counter as you glanced from the flowers back to him.

"You should get her a succulent," you declared. Gemma snorted again as she trimmed the ends off some roses and the man quirked his brow.

"You mean like… a cactus or some shit?" He asked, sounding confused and amused. 

You rolled your eyes, whizzing into the back and grabbing a small terracotta pot with a baby succulent in it. It looked almost like a flower with how it's leaves were arranged. You bought it back out to the front and back to him as you set it down on the counter.

"Meet Emily. She's cute and sweet and she says forever," you shot him a cheeky grin and he snorted, eyes darting from the plant to you.

"I'm sorry… Emily?" He asked with a smirk 

"Hey, she's a living thing like you and me, why shouldn't she have a name? And don't tell the others but… she's my favourite," you whispered the last part, eyes darting to the beaded curtain like you didn't want the others to hear and when you looked back at him he was smiling and shaking his head at you. 

"Look… flowers are great and all, a nice gesture and pretty to look at, but they wither and die. They go from pretty to morbid which is why they're great for special occasions but they don't last. But these cuties… they don't take much maintenance, it's hard to kill them and they're more… permanent. Flowers are a great way to say 'I love you' in a shorter sense, but nothing says 'I'll love you forever' more than one of these," you mused with a fond look at the plant. 

The man stared at the plant for a moment appearing deep in thought and when you glanced to Gemma, she was grinning from ear to ear as she wrapped up the arrangement in pretty pale purple paper. A similar shade to your current hair color.

"Fuck it. I'll take… Emily, too," he declared after a moment. You beamed and slid the pot over to Gemma so she could pack her up with the rest of the goods and ring him up. 

"You're good at this," the man said after a moment. You flushed a little at his words and snorted. 

"I just care about the plants," you shrugged with a smile. 

Gemma finished the wrapping and started ringing up the purchases as the man's eyes darted between you both.

"So… you two ladies got any plans later?" He asked casually. He didn't seem the type to make unnecessary small talk but Gemma opened her mouth to indulge him anyway. 

"A few of us are going out later to the bar down the street. The Lizard? It's not been open that long but it's pretty chill. It's nothing fancy though," Gemma smiled softly as she accepted the money from him, opening the register.

"Fancy places wouldn't let us in," you snorted with a smirk, toying with one of the many rings on your fingers.

"They wouldn't let you in. Besides, they have good music there and they don't mind when we let loose and get a little weird," Gemma laughed. The man chuckled with a nod before glancing back at you. He still had that look of recognition in his eyes and you tried to think if you'd ever seen him before. 

"Sounds like my kinda place. I might have to go with Karen and some friends sometime," he mused with a nod.

"You should, if you run into us let me know if she loves Emily. You've basically both adopted a cute earthy child so…" you grinned mischievously. He snorted, seemingly unaffected by you being yourself and you liked it. It wasn't often you got to talk to customers like this which is why you often stayed hidden in the back.

"I will. Have fun ladies and thanks for these," with that he was off and you and Gemma grinned at each other. It was nice to have a customer like that man, even if he did look completely out of place in a flower shop. You had a feeling he'd come back for more things for this Karen woman he was smitten with. 

---------

Billy sipped his beer, dark gaze flitting around the bar before he settled on his best friend. Karen was leaning on his shoulder and the pair had been nauseatingly close since they got here. Curtis and David were also at the table relaxing and talking to one another. 

"Is there a reason we're here?" Billy drawled as he sat back in his chair a little more. This wasn't their usual haunt and they didn't normally deviate from it. It wasn't so much that he didn't like the place. It was relaxed and quite similar to where they usually ended up. But it was a break in routine and he wasn't sure why. 

Frank shot him a sly smirk as he sipped his beer and it made Billy narrow his eyes a little.

"Well… I have it on good authority that little Ms Aries is gonna be here," he said smugly. Billy hated himself the moment he sat up straighter like an eager schoolgirl, especially when his friends all cheered and laughed at the news. He'd only told Frank about her, but Frank being Frank… well he'd told Karen and Karen told Curtis and David and in three short days it had become a running joke that he was hung up on a girl he hadn't even been able to get the name of.

Billy tilted his head, long fingers tapping on the beer bottle as he levelled his gaze at Frank.

"And how would you know that when we don't even know who she is?" He asked with a raised brow. Frank had a shit eating grin on his face as he leaned forward on the table a bit.

"Because I found her at her work earlier," he grinned. Billy blinked at him for a moment, mouth floundering as he tried to absorb that tidbit.

"Okay… so as my best friend and therefore wingman, is there a reason you didn't mention it until now?" He asked dryly. 

"Nah, I thought it would be a nice surprise and I didn't want you to talk yourself outta comin' here. Never seen you hung up on a girl before and I gotta say, she's a fuckin' riot," Frank snorted. Billy felt an unnecessary pang of envy at him then. Envy that his best friend managed to find her, spend some time with her maybe more than he had in the street. He knew it was stupid. His best friend was head over heels for Karen after all, but it was there all the same. 

"She works at the flower shop," Karen supplied with a soft smile as she looped her arms around Frank's larger one. Great, so Frank told her before he told him. Did everyone but him know? Why he was feeling like a petulant child, he didn't know, but before he could open his mouth to no doubt say something ridiculous, Frank's sly grin widened as he inclined his head to the door. 

Billy would lie until the day he took his last breath about how fast his head whipped to the door. He almost broke his damn neck. But there she was in all her purple haired glory and Jesus fuck was she the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid his eyes on. How did she get even more attractive in three days? Shit was ridiculous. But not as ridiculous at the nerves that bloomed in his belly at the sight of her. He was Billy Russo. Ex Spec Ops sniper. Former marine. CEO of Anvil. Serial womaniser. But now he was just Billy. Dumbfounded, actually kind of nervous and moon-eyed Billy. 

He watched as she and another girl she came in with walked over to the table with a few people and hugged them. Her smile was radiant and his eye twitched when she hugged the guys at her table. He kept waiting like she'd lean in and kiss one of them. To feel that crushing blow. But it never happened. In fact, the girl she'd come in with snuggled up to the one of the guys and the other had his arm wrapped around another girl at the table. 

"Well… you gonna go and get her name or what, Bill?" Frank asked with a snort. Billy cleared his throat, rolling his shoulder and glancing back to his beer before he shrugged.

"After my drink," he tried to sound casual but Frank's gaze softened a little and he hated that his best friend knew him better than anyone. He was just thankful Frank didn't call him out for it.

---------

You and Gemma had gotten to the bar a little later than usual because Gemma's cat snuck out the apartment and you'd had to hunt him down. He was cute but a menace but once he was back safe at home you'd both made a beeline for the bar. You had a few shots in quick succession to make up for the lost time and you weren't drunk but you felt the pleasant warmth spreading through you as you laughed and joked with your friends.

"Oh, I love this song, dance with me," you beamed, not giving Gemma a chance to protest as you grabbed her hand and moved a little from the table. It wasn't a club and there wasn't a dance floor but there was adequate space between the tables to dance. No one else was dancing but it was hardly the first time you and Gemma did this. It was always fun and amusing. 

You wrapped your arms around her shoulders and hers went around your waist as the pair of you giggled and swayed your hips. There were a few cat calls but it was all in jest. It was obvious you two were joking around by your over exaggerated movements and Gemma singing loudly and very off key, with your friends joining in the chorus. You loved your group of little weirdos. 

You turned around in her arms, hands still around her neck from behind as you swung your hips, eyes closed and a smile on your face. But when you opened them, they landed right on Mr Handsome himself who was at a table with some others and he was staring at you with wide eyes and a small smile. A grin spread across your face as you continued to dance. You knew you'd see him again. You paid little attention to anyone else as your eyes locked with his and he sat up a little straighter as he noticed he had your attention. 

You smirked, flashing him a cheeky wink as a call back to when you last met before you spun back around to face Gemma.

"So… the super hot guy over there in a maroon sweater? Looks like he's stepped right off of vogue? He's Coffee guy," you murmured giddily. Gemma didn't even hide the look she shot him before she laughed and looked back at you.

"First of all… wow. And second, he's like legit staring at you so hard right now," Gemma smirked.

You bit your lip with a smile as the song ended. Gemma gave you a hug before returning to her seat and then you made your way over to the bar and waited for the bartender so you could grab a beer.

"Can I get you a drink, astrology girl?" His smooth voice sent a shiver down your spine and you glanced over to where he was now standing next to you. 

"Of course. Beer please, Coffee boy," you grinned cheekily at him. He chuckled, ducking his head as he waved over the bartender and asked for two beers. 

"I told you we'd meet again," you murmured with a smirk, sipping the beer once it was placed in front of you. 

"You did. Although I think my friend Frank had somethin' to do with that," he replied with a smile as he glanced over his shoulder. You followed his gaze to his table and saw the man from the flower shop. Your eyes widened as an incredulous laugh left your lips and you gave him a thumbs up. You heard his laugh from across the bar. The woman with him was smiling wide and also watching you both, as were the other two men at his table. You had a feeling if you glanced over at your own friends they'd be doing the same thing. 

"So… do I get your name yet?" He asked, leaning his forearms on the bar. His shoulder brushed yours and it felt like a jolt of electricity shot through you. You glanced at him, a coy smile on your lips as you took another sip of beer. Your tongue darted out and swiped over your lower lip to catch a drop and you didn't miss how his dark eyes were drawn to the motion. It made your stomach clench. 

"Y/N," you smiled softly. You couldn't help it, you'd have given him anything he asked right then with the way he was looking at you. His face brightened when you relinquished your name, his eyes crinkling a little as he grinned. His teeth are perfect. I want him to bite every inch of me with those things.

"Billy," he offered, raising his beer bottle. You grinned as you clinked yours with his and you both took a drink. 

"I read some pretty interesting things about the sexual compatibility of an Aries and Scorpio," you murmured with a wry grin, nibbling your lower lip as you looked at him through your lashes. He was so close to you and you could feel his warmth through the layers of both of your clothes. And he smelt good. It almost made you dizzy.

"Is that so?" He asked, dark eyes intent on you and only you. His voice was lower than before and you fought the urge to jump him right there. You flashed him a toothy grin, a mix of flirtatious and just plain impish that made him smile.

"Apparently we're a match made in sexual heaven," you teased softly. 

You watched as he swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did. His almost black eyes felt like they were setting you on fire from the inside out with how heated his gaze was.

"Well now I gotta problem. Because I wanted to ask you on a date first but you're makin' it really hard for me to have any restraint," he purred. Shiiiiit. That tone alone would have you needing to change your panties when you got home. 

You smirked, all sinful as you leaned into his ear, your hand going to his firm forearm. You heard his breathing hitch before you even said anything as your hot breath landed on his ear.

"I'd really like that date," you whispered with a saccharine smile. Honestly, you weren't known for your patience and you wanted nothing more than to drag him back to your place and fuck him until neither of you could walk again. But the idea of a date, of dragging it out a bit, it intrigued you. The man had lived rent free in your brain since you both collided three days ago and as much as it would kill you, you knew the wait would be worth it and only make it better. 

You moved back a bit, your face still ridiculously close to his and he flashed you a devilish smile all of his own before he leaned down and kissed you. It was an intense kiss. Full of hunger and passion you'd never felt before and you didn't hesitate to kiss him back eagerly. There were some cat calls and you had a feeling a few came from your friends but you were hardly fazed by your brazen kiss with the most handsome man in the world. 

When you broke away, you were both panting and you felt your cheeks flush a little at how he looked at you. There was definitely arousal there but he also looked slightly awestruck. You flashed him another grin before slurping some of your beer and he chuckled as he did the same. 

You spent the next few hours sitting beside Billy at the bar as you got to know one another, all the little mundane details that really made up a person. You felt like you'd never get tired of looking at him, of hearing that smooth as silk voice or watching how expressive his face and eyes could be. And no matter what you said, whether it was embarrassing stories about your friends or about the plants at work, he acted like you'd just told him the best story ever. He was attentive and soaked up all of your words greedily. You couldn't remember the last time someone made you feel like this. 

You left the bar that night after agreeing for him to pick you up at 8 the next night and exchanging numbers. You'd kissed him that time and it was full of as many promises as his kiss had been. And you didn't miss the way Frank clapped his back once he returned to his seat either. The wait would definitely be worth it. 

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

&

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas? 

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would 

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3? 

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves. 

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step 

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened? 

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.  

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered 

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hi, I love your blog! Can I request a cake, if you’re still doing them? It’s fine if you’re not though.

If you are, can you do it for a boy? I’m generally considered tall (I’m 5’7”) and I have really curly brown hair with green eyes and really pale skin. I’m Irish-American and I’m an Aries. My hobbies are; photography, reading thriller or historical fiction novels, writing fanfiction, and listening to music (specifically punk rock or really obnoxiously loud Irish rock). I’m quite shy when it comes to new situations or places and I have an anxiety disorder, so I’m usually quite anxious and generally considered quiet (which makes my music choices ironic). Before people get to know me, people think I’m a b*tch or that I’m cold because I tend to stick with the same people and not generally talk to others unless I’m forced. Even my friends have said they thought I was mean before they actually met me. I can be pessimistic at times, but I care about the people I’m really close with and I’ll defend them no matter the situation. I can be annoying, I overthink everything, and I am insecure about literally anything and everything about myself (from my body to my writing)

I’m generally considered one of the smarter ones in my friend group, usually my friends come to me when it comes to writing essays or having to read a book for class, since I’m good at analyzing things. I’m the friend that usually everyone tries to protect from things, from fear that I might “break” or something like that, which can be annoying but I know it means that they care. Though I would prefer that people be straight forward and honest with me instead of walk on eggshells or keep secrets, because contrary to popular belief, I can defend myself just fine. My friends say I have a hard time letting people in since I don’t want to end up hurt, so I have a tendency to keep people at arms length because I’m afraid to have my heart broken.

I don’t know if that’s enough information or if I over-shared (I have a tendency to do that), but if you are still accepting these kinds of requests, I hope this is enough.

🍰 for @lifewouldbebetteronmars

Hello my Aries sister!!!!

Romantic Matchup

Tsukishima Kei

How yall met

Ok be prepared to be shocked

But Tsukki needed a tutor

He was having a difficult time understanding the new topic they were doing in class

So the teacher recommended you as a partial tutor

At first he didn't really like you

It really wasn't anything you did

He just hated that he needed someone else's help

And he was kinda embarrassed about it

But as time went on he started to warm up to you

Some could even say he looked forward to your tutoring sessions

So when he didn't need you to teach him anymore

He tried to find excuses to hang out with you

He's just too prideful to say that he likes you and wants to hang out with you

And even though you knew that was probably the case

You didn't want to call him out like that

So you would just hang out with him whenever you could

And the bond between you two grew with every passing day

And eventually you guys started dating

What they love about you

He loves how intelligent you are

Tsukki is pretty smart himself

So if he thinks that your smart

Bb you're a genius

And although he resented your smarts when he first met you

He's come to realize it's one of your most admirable traits

He loves how you care so deeply for your loved ones

He knows you would do anything and everything for him

But he also knows you would do the same thing when it comes to any of your friends and family

Like he's literally seen you telling off somebody for picking on one of your friends

He made a mental note to be careful who he picks on that day

He loves how straightforward you are

Ok so this is Tsukki were talking about

He doesn't really like overcomplicated people or people he can't understand

And you are anything but that

Tsukki can read you like a book

Maybe its because hes spent a lot of time with you

Maybe it's because he pays more attention to you than other people

The world may never know

What you love about them

You love how he doesnt try to “protect you”

Now don't get me wrong

Tsukki would take a bullet for you if it ever came down to it

But he knows for the most part you can take care of yourself

So unless you specifically ask for help hell leave you be

You love that he understands your limitations

Tsukki knows you have anxiety

So he tries to make social exchanges as comfortable as possible

If he notices that your uncomfortable talking to someone

He’ll swoop in and remove you from the situation

However...

He tries to get you to step out of your comfort zone from time to time

He knows just as well as you do that being social is just apart of life

And he doesn't want you do always be dependent on him when it comes to being social

So he just gives you little nudges

Until eventually its like your anxiety never even existed

Favorite things to do together

STUDY DATES!!!!!!

Ahem anyways

Mans loves to have a good study date with you

It's really just you two doing homework and reading together

But he loves those little intimate moments with you

Late night walks

You guys take late night walks ALL the time

Once again it's nothing more than just walking round and listening to music

But Tsukki finds comfort in your presence during these times

Random Hc

The team was very very shocked when they found out you were Tsukkis gf

Like Tsukki + a relationship = error

Definitely got bombarded with questions when you met the team

He keeps some of the photos you've taken in a little box in his room

He proofreads all of your fanfics

One time it was your turn to pick the music for a study date

He was very shocked when hard core irish rock started playing…

When you guys first met there were a lot of moments when you just stared at eachother like

Because you didn't know how to talk to each other

Sometimes he acts like he doesn't know something just so he can be around you

Astrology

Aries + Libra

Compatibility 62%

However difficult it might be to reconcile these two natures, remember that this is a primal opposition that represents partners by signification.

Aries and Libra are the couple of the zodiac, as much as any other opposing signs, for they are each other’s seventh house, house of relationships.

Even more so if we acknowledge the fact that Libra is the sign of relationships in general.

Any problem they might have with each other is something to be worked on, because it shows what their personal problem with any relationship is.

When they are madly attracted to each other and fall in love, there is almost nothing that could separate them, no matter the differences.

Wouldn’t we all like to find the middle ground with our loved one? They need to work on their bond, that’s a fact, but their relationship is a promise of a perfect fit of two souls meant to be together.

Friendship Matchup

Tendou Satori

How yall met

You guys have been friends since middle school

You saw how other people treated him and you just didn't think it was right

So you befriended him!

You guys were attached at the hip all throughout middle school

Then he left for highschool while you stayed in middle school

Then when it was your turn to go to high school you had went to karasuno

So you guys lost touch

But then one day you saw a familiar head of red hair at one of your boyfriends matches…

It was Satori!

You were so excited to see him again that you practically sprinted over to him to reunite

He was so happy to see you again!

Ngl the entire Karasuno team was very confused on how you knew the guess monster of Shiratorizawa

Why you became friends

Like I said you saw how people treated him all throughout middle school…

So even though you were 2 years younger than him

You decided to befriend him

He was shocked by your kindness

And honestly a little hesitant

It wouldn't be the first time someone pretended to be his friend just to stab him in the back later

But for some reason he thought you were different

So he became friends with you

He was super sad when he lost contact with you :(

He always thought about how you were doing

But hey fate decided to bring you two together again

And it was like nothing changed

You both still had the same strong connection you had way back in middle school

What yall love about each other

He loves how out there you can be

Like there was a time where you two just blasted music in a park and just were dancing and vibing

He loves how your able to channel your creativity into your photography

He compliments every picture you take

Even if it's not a good one

He loves that how you look vs how you act are two totally different things

He won't lie to you you definitely have RBF Syndrome

(resting bitch face syndrome)

It almost reminds him how ushiwaka looks

But the difference is behind you rbf is a generally warm person

You love how fun Satori is!

Moments with him are always filled with laughs

Never a dull moment with that one

You love that he does not allow what others say get to him

Oh and on the days they do

Your right there to pick him back up and get him back to normal

Overall you guys love that you can depend on each other

Random Hc

Tsukki felt a little intimidated when he found out satori was your friend

Their rivalry during their game may or may not have had something to do with you…

You guys had homemade friendship bracelets as kids

And he kept his in his room even after you lost touch

Ironically enough he WILL NOT allow you to be insecure

He's like Insecurities we don't know her ❤️

Astrology

Aries + Libra

A friendship between an Aries and a Libra brings in the inherent polarity of the Zodiac itself.

The constellations of Aries and Libra lie opposite to each other in the Zodiac, at an angle of 180 degrees between them.

This polarity is displayed in their characteristic traits as well. Each sign has qualities that the other sign lacks.

Add to it the fact that Librans have a natural desire to be harmonious, and Aries and Libra form a relationship of great equilibrium.

The polarity of Aries and Libra could be described as self versus other.

But the differences go much further than that. Aries are impulsive, excitable, and willing to jump into things immediately.

Libra are indecisive, peace loving, and prefer a calm, quiet view of everything.

Star signs with opposite polarity often share a zealous relationship with each other.

In general, polar alliances turn out awesome when they are good, but rather challenging when they are bad.

Polarities could twist and knot together if the signs didn’t understand each other well.

However, Aries and Libra are a well balanced pair.

Libra are charming, well cultured, and have pleasing manners that could compensate for the brazen nature of Aries.

On the other hand, Aries are strong willed and decisive, which could compensate for the irresolute nature of Libra.

Aries could help Libra reach resolutions more easily and make them more spontaneous.

Libra could, at times, show Aries that they are not always as right as they think they are.

[nad-zeta]

Compatibility Matchup (◕‿◕✿)

Greeting, My Queen!

I love reading all your match-ups! Like, I really do! 💕💕💕😆 If it’s okay, can I please request compatibility match-up with Nobunaga and Kenshin?

I’ll send you the details again hehe. I have a long and straight black hair, height barely reach 5'0. My zodiac is Scorpio but with Sagittarius moon and rising. INTP-A, ambivert but leans to introvert, only talk a lot with family and close friends, very shy with strangers, but I am polite generally. I am also a solo-traveler! (love traveling so much and will travel until I go broke)

I like readings, puzzle and strategy games like chess. But if I play them for too long my brain will get exhausted and I will need to take a nap ASAP to recharge, no matter what time of the day is it. I love jokes and pranks, and will do it to people who are close to me, and I won’t mind if they prank me back because it means WAR and I get to prank them as much as I can, until one of us admit defeat. I also will hype up and cheer if I see people sparing and fighting in martial-art competition because I love actions so much. 🔥🔥🔥

My biggest weakness is when I have negative emotions like sadness or anger, I tend to bury and forget about it, which makes me feel numb when something bad happen. During that time, I will appear cold and unbothered. (I am not unbothered, it just hard for me to express the sadness) Like when my beloved grandmother died, I didn’t shed any tears, but for few weeks my life was dull and I felt numb, faking smile everywhere I went. But I do cry occasionally if the bottled-up feelings are becoming too much, and will find a secluded spot to cry alone because I feel embarassed if people see me crying. 🥴

Lastly, I am not good with romance. I shy away from romantic gestures and PDA is a no no (might die from embarassment). Cannot flirt without face getting red as tomato (I am the type that will steal a kiss from someone I love and then quickly ker-vanish) Love to hug someone sneakily from back and sometime try to lift them or tickle them from behind. (I know it’s weird but I like doing that to my siblings)

SORRY if it’s too long and you can ignore it if you don’t want to do, I don’t mind. 😉 Thanks!!

Awww you are so freaken sweet!🥰❤☀️ I’m so happy you have been enjoying them, and of course, you can request one!🦋🦋 I love doing these, although they take me soooo long! 🙈😱Speaking of..... sorry for making you wait an eternity for this, hopefully, it will be a nice surprise to wake up to lol!☺🥰😳 Anyways I hope you enjoy this, dear! And I hope you have the best day! Thanks again for the request love! @cherrydangome​☺🥰

Okay so without further ado………….

Nobunaga 

Pros of dating Nobunaga 

The two of you will definitely have big shy introvert vs extrovert vibes going on

Like the chemistry and tension between the two of you is there and everyone in the room can see it

Naturally, it takes no time at all for Nobunaga to pull you out of your shell and get you to open up to him

It probably will happen very early on in your relationship TBH, like the second night when he insists you entertain him by *ahem* warming his bed

Of course, you are like hell NO! But that’s when you spot his array of board games in the corner of the room

He sees that excited glint in your eyes and he is like GAME ON

This is how your afternoon visits to play board games, turn into night time deep conversations and chats with the man.

The two of you are always engaged in some or other war

Be it a battle of Go, or a battle of wits

Did somebody say pranking wars?

The two of you cuties will forever be going head to head, pranking each other. Nobunaga hates to lose so you better be prepared to admit defeat

Of course you are just as stubborn as the man, which he low key loves cause no woman has ever challenged him so boldly and refused to back-down. Will wear his smug smile whenever you have pulled of a successful prank on the man

“Well then little fireball, i hope you are prepared for the swift revenge that awaits you”

His eyes will widen when you initiate an unexpected second attack right after his declaration at revenge, cue him smirking even wider, “You certainly are the most entertaining fireball”

He will low key invite you to play board games with him late at night just so he can watch you get sleepy and boldly plonk your head down on his lap so you can take a power nap before continuing on with the game.

You are forever surprising this man with you unexpected actions, just when he thinks he has you figured out, BOOM you surprise him

Nobunaga is a fellow travel lover, so I hope your bags are always packed and ready to go at a moments notice

Nobunaga will legit sneak into your room in the middle of the night to invite you to. sneak out the castle so the two of you can go on a fun trip together

The two of you give Hideyoshi all his grey hairs, cause he will be running around the castle searching for the two of you cuties, with a note in his hand left by Nobu

The note reads; “BRB we are going on an adventure make sure the castle doesn’t burn-down in my absence, monkey.”

He will legit take you with him, all over the world once his ambition has been reached. It is something that the two of you talk about quite often, planning out every detail of where the two of you would explore first.

Whenever the two of you are together it is always a lot of fun

His love language is physical touch, so during your outing expect to be spontaneously hugged and kissed

He absolutely adores the way your face lights up in embarrassment whenever he kisses you in public, he will legit tease you mercilessly just to see you go as red as a beet

You best be sure when the two of you are riding to your travelling destination this boy is gonna be playfully nibbling on your ear and kissing your neck, just to rile you up

LOTS OF TICKLE FIGHTS

Whenever Nobunaga teases you in public you are always sure to get him back by tickling him

All you have to do is send this man one sneaky glance, and he knows, you mean business, he will legit cup his ears and run away from you as fast as he can

Naturally, you would chase after him to get your sweet revenge, Cue Hideyoshi yelling at the two of you to spot running in the hallway

No one is safe once you and Nobunaga form a pranking alliance to prank the residents of Azuchi castle. The only way to guarantee safety from being pranked is to offer the two of you candy as payment

Nobunaga love love love it when you surprise him with hugs and kisses

If you want to make this soft boy melt, let him rest his head on your lap between meetings for a quick power nap, while you pull your fingers through his hair.

Nobunaga is a closet softy, so he will get super pouty if the love of his life isn’t giving him enough attention

His absolute favourite is to spend quiet evenings with you nestled in his arms as the two of you engage in your nightly battles of GO

Cons of dating Nobunaga

Nobunaga is not exactly what you would call in tune with his feelings, heck he didn’t really know what love was until he met you

So this poor boi is oblivious when it comes to recognizing when you are bottling up your feelings

It is only when he finally finds you crying alone from too many bottled up emotions that he realizes you have been going through a hard time

He 100% works on trying to become more in tune with his and your emotions

He knows something is up when he sees that strained fake smile on your face, but alas the job of conqueror is never done, and he has a full day of war councils to attend to before he can finally see you and find out what is wrong

The biggest con for Nobunaga is his super busy schedule, as sometimes it feels like there just isn’t enough time in the day to get all his tasks done. Thanks to Hideyoshi keeping him busy with meeting upon meeting, sometimes the two of you don’t see each other for days.

Only being able to exchange a few words and sneaky kisses in passing

Of course Nobunaga will try his hardest to make more time to spend with his beloved fireball

If he sees you are feeling sad or numb, he will legit cancel all his meetings for the day and seek you out

At first, he might not know how to help you out of your numb dull state, but you can always be sure he will be there for you.

He will wrap you in his warm embrace and just hold you while tenderly tracing soothing circles on your back until you feel better, or are ready to tell him what’s going on

He will gently coax you back to reality with sweet words and loads of affection

Will 100% demand you cry in front of him, cause how else is he supposed to perform his boyfriend duties and make you feel better. 

Even if you feel embarrassed, he will insist that whenever you are feeling sad that you interrupt the meeting or whatever he is busy with, so he can remind you just how much he absolutely loves and adores you.

Relationship score

So in ganna give this a solid 4.8/5

The two of you sweethearts are incredibly compatible. When you and Nobunaga are together, the room is always filled with laughs and good times. You and Nobunaga are always up to mischief, whether it is planning your next prank or running in the hallways stealing candy. With Nobunaga, your life will be one big fun adventure. You have taught Nobunaga how to love, and you continue to teach him, that it is okay to take a break every once and awhile, to do the things he loves. Like spend time with the love of his life and travel and explore fun places with you by his side. After-all, the castle will be left in Mamahens capable hands. The two of you cuties are most definitely a very affectionate couple, always exchanging a quick kiss or tight hug. You bring a sense of fun and wonder into Nobunaga’s life and allow him to be the soft, playful boi that he truly is. And for that, he will be eternally grateful. Although Nobunaga is new to the topic of emotions and both of you, tend to hide your emotions rather than confront it head-on. You both help each other to learn and grow and, be more open with each other about how you are feeling. Overcoming this obstacle helps your relationship to fully blossom. 

Overall the two of you cuties are incredibly compatible, and you can be 100% sure that Nobunaga will spend every day of his life showering you with love and adoration. After all, you are his queen, his dearest fireball, and the love of his life and he will remind you that everyday

Kenshin.

Pros of dating Kenshin

First major pro, well for Kenshin anyways, is that you love hugs and cuddles. This boy is 100% touched starved and absolutely loves to snuggle and cuddle you any free chance he can get

Your love for strategy games is what first bonds the two of you cuties together. Kenshin LOVES anything war, and that includes war/strategy games.

Sasuke legit invited you over for an innocent game night, and it was this act that sparked a strong friendship between you and the God of War

You were truly a challenging opponent and he loved that you could anticipate and match his every move.

Did someone say pranking war! The first time you pulled a prank on Kenshin, he was low key confused, but then Sasuke dramatically put his hand over his mouth and muttered that you had just openly declared war on their lord.

Cue Kenshins cute bunny eyes lighting up in excitement, of course, he could never go to war with his dearest goddess of war so, he snuck into your room one night, to strike a secret alliance with you

The next day the castle of Kasugayama was an all-out pranking battlefield.

If Sasuke wasn’t throwing fart bombs at the two of you, you and Kenshin was replacing all the residents water with vinegar. 

NO, ONE, WAS, SAFE

Naturally you and Kenshin came out on top, being crowned as the prank masters

The god and goddess of pranking if you will

The two of you cuties would definitely pull a few light, innocent pranks on each other, but be prepared cause Kenshin will get his revenge on you for pranking him via teasing you mercilessly

Kenshin loves it when you come up behind him and hug him! This act melts this soft bunny bois heart into a puddle of happiness

He will legit turn around in your arms and return the hug all while nuzzling you with his nose and showering your face in sweet little kisses

If you want to make this mans heart burst from pure happiness, cheer him on as he spars and trains with Sasuke and Yukimura

He will legit be beaming in absolute pride and joy, as you cheer him on

He will legit start showing off slightly, showing Sasuke and Yuki no mercy

During Banquets:

Kenshin; who wants to spar with me this banquet is boring

Yuki and Sasuke: Looking at you pleadingly, as you are the only person who can get Kenshin to see reason

You: Fight fight fight

Yuki and Sasuke: Runs away while you cheer Kenshin on

Kenshin knows you tend to shy away from PDA and romantic gestures so he will try his best to keep them to a minimum when the two of you cuties are out together. Although he will insist on holding your hand! This boy just wants to be close to you and protect you at all times

If he is feeling a little playful, he will steal sneaky little kisses from your lips during banquets which make you flare up in embarrassment. He will then smile the most beautiful of smiles and pull you into his arms, so that you are comfortably seated on his lap. He will then hide your beet-red face against his chest. Cause he is the only one privileged enough to get to see your flustered expressions.

Hehe speaking of sneaky kisses, whenever you give him a sneaky kiss and then Ker-vanish, he is left in the middle of the hallway with his cheeks dusted in a light pink hue. Who taught you to be so freaken cute

Sometimes he will sense you coming and catch you in his arms before you pull your Ker-vanishing act and shower your face with tiny kisses as he tickles you.

What is Kenshin’s absolute all-time favourite, well that’s easy! Whenever he is getting tired or bored during a war councils, there is just one thing that will give him energy and the will to carry on. And that is when you bring the warlords some tea and snacks and while no one is looking, hug Kenshin from behind while kissing his cheek.

His sour bored expression will 180 into the biggest smile

Another pro with Kenshin is he is a rather emotional person and knows how it feels to be trapped in the dark of your own mind, feeling nothing but numbness

He will pick up fairly quickly if you are faking a smile or acting cold and dull

This boy will end all meetings immediately for the day, gently take your hand and pull you to your shared room

Once you are inside, he will immediately wrap you in a warm blankie and summon the bunnies to cuddle you, while he makes the two of you some tea

Will then wrap you up in a warm embrace while nuzzling your neck and soothingly pulling his long fingers through your soft hair as he coaxes you to tell him why you are feeling upset

Anyone who dares bring his sweet goddess of war to tears better prepare themselves to face the wrath of Kenshin and his bunny army

He will kiss and wipe away every tear as he reaffirms his undying love for you

What is one more big pro of dating Kenshin, you may ask? Well, his man adores your long black hair! Like he is literally in heaven whenever you are in his arms, and he is playing with your long hair. It’s just so soft and silky smooth. 

Loves it when you tell him all about your day as he just spends hours pulling his fingers through your hair. Bonus points if you coax him to lay down on your lap as you tenderly caress his hair and face

Cons of dating Kenshin

SO Kenshin is not exactly an introvert per se, but he is most definitely an odd duck that has spent his life avoiding woman at all costs! So you already have a disadvantage the first time you meet Kenshin, you know, being a woman and all.

And considering you are a sweet shy bean at first, it definitely takes a lil while for the both of you to get comfortable around each other to start opening-up

But once you start joining them for their weekly game nights, Kenshin catches a glimpse of that strong wonderful personality, and well he can’t help but fall absolutely head over heels for you

Another con with this cute bunny boy is the fact that he is trying to protect you 24/7. HE has finally found a second chance at love and no way is he gonna let anyone or anything pull him apart from his dearest soulmate

He knows you love travelling but this sweet boi can’t help but feel slightly anxious whenever you leave the castle without him, even if it’s just to go shopping

He will insist on coming with you, and as your relationship progresses he comes to realize just how strong and independent his goddess of war is, and starts to relax slightly

Although in saying that, the first few weeks of your relationship, you are basically stuck in the castle, cause of Kenshin’s fears and traumas

Which brings me to the next con, Kenshin has been deeply hurt in his past and has trouble moving on and allowing himself to heal and grow, so you will need to be patient with bunny boy and provide him with plenty of love and reassurance

Although you are always there to help and support Kenshin, chasing away his every fear and anxiety, through nights spent holing him tight in your arms. And days spent just reassuring him and spending time with him and the buns

He is eternally thankful to you for granting him a second chance at love and thanks to your strength and endurance, the two of you learn and grow together. Finally, Kenshin is not haunted by his past and is sure to take you on any and every trip your heart desires.

Just say the word and he will have the horses packed and ready to go, leaving Sasuke to care for and handle all castle affairs

The two of you even reach that point of endless trust, love and communication that he finally caves to your request of wanting to tag along when they go to war, so you can heal the sick and wounded

There is no hiding your sadness or tears from Kenshin, this boy has a network of secret spy bunnies that will 100% out you if they see or sense you are upset

The bunnies will legit keep you company, cuddling and nuzzling you until Kenshin arrives

This boy be possessive, so be warned, like I said he is aware you don’t like PDA, BUT if some creeper thinks he can lay his hands or even eyes on his beloved soul mate, he has another thing coming

Kenshin will try and control his seething rage for the disgusting daimyo who are trying to win your favour, but at some point, he just can’t anymore

He will legit put his arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his body as he gives you a passionate kiss filled with love, need and desire. He will hold you in his arms for the duration of the meeting showing the man just who your fiancé is

Even the bunnies follows suit in their God of war’s possessive behaviour and hop into your lap cuddling you as they glare daggers at any man or woman who is not Kenshin

Relationship score

I score this relationship, a solid 5 out of 5 hehe

I think the two of you are incredibly compatible. It may take some time and effort to work together to heal from traumas of the past, but once the two of you have climbed and conquered that mountain together, it is smooth sailings. Kenshin will be a very very loving and doting partner and you will never be in need of cuddles or snuggles, cause if you are not in Kenshin’s warm arms you are being nuzzled by your army of bunnies. Kenshin would move heaven and earth if it would bring a smile to your face, and you will have this man wrapped around your little finger. He will instantly drop any important duties just to tend to you. He will be devoted to you for life and will spend everyday cherishing you and showering you with absolute endless amounts of love and affection. 

Your relationship will be filled with sweet hugs and kisses, and be sprinkled with the occasional touch of playfulness. There will never be a dull moment in your life with Kenshin, in the rowdy Kasugayama castle. 

All and all everyone has their flaws, but I think the two of you will be able to accept each other flaws and shortcoming wholeheartedly and live a long, happy life together

Hehehe its actually been so long since I’ve done these lol I hope you enjoyed it, dear (side note sorry if it’s different from previous ones- I legit low key forgot how I have been doing these) 🙈🙈🙈😅

Anyways hope you have the best day! Sending you a ton of hugs! ❤❤🥰☺

[raguna-blade]

So, listening to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQqY7s1-pyo], and that got me thinking about Kingdom Hearts again as occasionally is the case. I’m still a bit steamed about 3 for one reason or another, and probably i should get the DLC down the line, maybe when/if I do a full series dive again since As i’ve kinda gone through it it’s occurred to me that i’ve been 1: Giving it an unfair shake due to personal disappointments, and 2: Giving it an unfair shake because god, please lord the story isn’t (when you get down to it) that complicated but these twists and nonsense make things really obnoxious and hard to track the themes and stuff which I think it does a good job on honestly but it makes it so hard to track sometimes i swear.

But this isn’t about that.

This is a fanfic idea, following the post game of Kingdom Hearts 3 and the idea is simple enough.

Sora falls into the Persona 5 setting, and ends up joining (or at least working with) the phantom thieves.

Including A Persona!

Including A Sweet Rebellion Outfit!

It’s Vanitas!

Wait, hold on.

So the general idea here is again, Sora ends up in the persona 5 world and ends up mucking around with that plotline. If anything, Persona 5R especially is probably a good fit for this considering Maruki and his goings on.

But really setting wise I dig the idea because first off the creatures in the heart of mankind are basically Heartless, Unversed, and Nobodies all kind of rolled up into one. One might make the argument if the worlds are supposed to be completely compatible that Persona’s are basically filling up the last part of the triangle of things that exist with Hearts/Heartless, Bodies/Nobodies, and Souls/Personas.

That last may seem a bit fuzzy since the Link doesn’t seem super straightforward, but it seems to be that the Soul in KH is an animating force in part but also keenly tied to thoughts.

Which lines up fantastically with Persona and Shadows! They’re basically entities made up OF thoughts really when you come down to it. Thoughts and feelings shape how they act, effect the world in general, and in great numbers and concentrations create absurd entities that are a sort of crystalized idea for good or ill.

So I think that part links up well enough yeah.

But what ends up happening though? Well for the moment, the general vibe is this. Sora, now set adrift and kinda just vibing out between worlds and of course desperately trying to cling onto something ends up losing his memories. Well...Not quite losing his memories so much as, he is incredibly damaged by the absolute clownery that he pulled at the end of KH3. That shit is not without consequences, and the fact that he’s not just hot erased really speaks to both Sora’s keen ability to do things that really shouldn’t be doable as well his other critical feature of being able to befriend basically everyone and everything if they’re willing to at least take a step along with him.

Enter Rage Form and Enter Vanitas.

Now I could probably do a whole thing about how Rage Form is essentially Sora tapping into the Powers of Darkness and yet not absolutely getting lost in the sauce like everyone else and why that is...And I will actually, you cannot stop me.

So my going theory in regards to using darkness in Kingdom Hearts is that Using Darkness is, as literally everyone points out, Absurdly Wickedly Dangerous...It is not, however, inherently evil as the games kinda make it out to be. We’ve seen several people use it without going full super villain, and indeed one of the major series leads Makes copious use of Dark Power.

The Problem with Darkness is that well...I guess the way to put it is, Darkness is basically concentrated Heart in a sense. It amps up E V E R Y T H I N G, to dangerous dangerous levels, and if you aren’t paying attention it will cause you to hop off the slippery slope in a hurry because you have to do the thing and you don’t feel any different so it’s obviously not effecting your mind. And it doesn’t precisely, effect your mind and make you evil....But it does cause you to lose restraint, to more or less give into passions to absurd dangerous extents that you may as WELL be evil.

Take Riku for example. He’s probably the clearest cleanest example because he has a whole arc with it, but fundamentally when he starts using darkness it doesn’t exactly make him start being an evil jerk it makes him do the exact same thing he was doing before (looking for his friends, looking for sora and kairi and trying to wake up Kairi especially at the time) and kind of not think, to not consider things that are patently obvious because it doesn’t jive with what he’s feeling at the time.

Basically Darkness (as I think is said at some point? but certainly implied) causes hearts to rage out of control and if you’re dumb with it, if you’re not highly extremely cognizant of this fact you absolutely are going to lose it.

Back to Rage Form, back to Anti Form. Anti Form first actually, and then we can go into Rage form.

See Anti form when it was a thing explicitly was never a thing Sora really had control over. It occurred with Drives yes, but it was always an accident (and notably get’s cancelled out when you fuse with Roxas in the Final Form but another thing) which tracks with the general antics going on with it. It nukes your drive gauge (which let’s you fuse with Donald and Goofy) and it’s actually rather weak on it’s own, in no small part because part of Sora’s whole thing is series wide is obsessively IGNORING how frustrated and angry and all that he is.

Kid has no idea how to actually use his rage in a constructive useful way. As a result, antiform while edgy and possessing some interesting qualities, isn’t really actually all that useful for untrained still stupidly uncannily powerful Sora (Like...I know it’s probably a whole other discussion but I kinda feel like the games both underplay how ridiculous Sora actually is while still at least kinda nodding at the fact that yeah this Kid has single handedly absolutely and somewhat literally decimated every single foe he has come across with disgusting ease? No one takes him seriously and then he’s basically breaking you across his knee, it’s hilarious)

But Rage Mode...? Rage Mode is actually QUITE handy. Offer’s a quick health boost, lots of teleport shenanigans (combo wise yes but hey) offer’s a move to get stronger at risk of health and is an emergency save both in game and story, and while the exact reasoning that he has it is never stated outright, I think it’s also fair to say that Sora as of 3 Is both Coming to grips with the frankly Absurd amount of bullshit that is laid at his feet when he really just wants to chill out with his friends and fuck off for a while (It’s a little unmentioned since Sora spends a large amount of time knocked the hell out but I’m pretty sure from his POV it’s been like the most hellish year possible)

Rage mode is Sora acknowledging the bullshit of his life and actively using it to do things and accomplish his goals, which at the time were basically beat the living hell out of heartless, nobodies and Xehanort (13 times)

It’s an active deal with darkness that may yet actually have severe consequences, but for Fic purposes, we connect from Rage Mode to Vanitas.

Now Vanitas is, for whatever else he may be (and the Unversed Certainly are weird), still a part of both Ventus and Sora’s heart. His Mirroring of Sora appearance wise (and indeed being the opposite of him in that While he may work with others he is decisively something of a loner I think, to contrast Sora’s Friends Everywhere thing).

And I thought, personally, when he was fading away at the end of KH3 that there was something of a lost opportunity. Vanitas was perfectly happy being Darkness, whatever that may exactly mean. But hey, if we’re going with my idea that Darkness=Heart Unrestrained here, then I think it’s not unreasonable to track what’s going on here.

Ventus and Sora both got extremely raw deals, and Vanitas unlike them was able to express that anger, rage, and just...Immense seething I suppose. Taken as a whole really, that’s more or less what his role WAS, to be the outrageous out of control fury of Ventus and Sora, targeting everything that hurt them which, frankly, was pretty much everyone and everything constantly (to say nothing of whatever is going down with the Mobile game for ventus who apparently is involved there so that’s you know...Not helping)

Vanitas being Satisfied as the Darkness of Sora and Ventus (and of course his own being) tracks then. He really would be fine kicking it because he was spent basically. Those two had more or less at that point burned out the rage and fury and overwhelming emotions, had brought it to heel, had taken it under control and all that.

But I can’t imagine Sora willingly letting someone fade like that. It’s not that he’s soft, or won’t put down bad guys. He absolutely will and does. I don’t think he’ll be happy about it, but he’ll do it, and I think if he has any idea of what’s gone down with Ventus and Vanitas he would be willing to, if the opportunity arose, basically give Vanitas a place to crash for all intents and purposes.

So. Remember when I said Sora has a Persona, a Rebellion Suit, and that it was Vanitas?

Part of the entire thing with Persona is, in fact, dealing with your shadow self. Shown primarily with dealing with negative aspects of yourself, but it involves all untapped aspects of you right?

Vanitas is a near perfect Shadow of Sora, being about as far on the opposite side of the spectrum as you can get. Arrogant, Self Absorbed, Callous, Lonely, yeah? But also, genuinely skilled and powerful, more than capable of reading others, and a solid lone operator. And thus, as a Shadow of Sora he’s basically perfect for a kid who is now on his own.

But Persona’s aren’t shadows precisely. I mean they literally are, but they’re shadows put to purpose, controlled, a specific mask put forward to the world to deal with it.

And Sora right now, alone, forcibly separated from his loved ones again, and much more permanently this time, turns to someone who he took in in his heart for perhaps not kinship at least commiseration. And Vanitas in turn responds in kind. Sora’s a nice kid but he’s not really properly in touch with the darker aspects of himself. This is a problem, not because ooooooo you gotta have darkness edge edge edge, but more because Sora has already USED darkness before. At the time it was safe enough because he was focused had a goal and all that.

But Now? Oh now Sora is basically in a situation where he might reasonably reach out for those dark powers and he is not in the right headspace to try and do that safely 1 and 2 I don’t think genuinely has a good enough grasp of his own less than great inclinations that could lead to him SCREAMING off the slippery slope into bad time junction.

Now Vanitas isn’t really fully doing this out of the kindess of his heart here. He want’s to do what he wants and that’s cause a degree of mayhem, get into fights, just in general kind of fuck off and do his own thing in the same way that Sora does except you know kind of more maliciously (though I genuinely suspect that a Vanitas without an immediate thing to do probably would just kinda...go somewhere and be moody. He seems the type. With a task though well different story, but sans one? And hey, the old man isn’t around to push him around anymore)

So Vanitas functionally becomes his Persona Here, which ties back to the way earlier mentioned point. Sora is a little broken here, but he has a certain understanding of both what’s going on with Tokyo when he get’s there (something stupid is happening at the bottom of mementos involving a heart. Guess it’s Heartless Stomping Time) even if he’s not fully on board with everything because of yet more missing memories, but for the moment, he doesn’t have the full power’s he really had before. He needs to lean on darkness here not just to stay as a whole person, but to also find his way home. And of course, this requires darkness.

Some of you may be seeing the grim and stupid pieces lining up here, so for you, just hold your head in shame and prepare the finger wagging.

So we have vanitas as a persona, more or less. Cool, fine.

And predictably, his rebellion outfit would more or less be a flavoring of Vanita’s armored up form, albeit probably a bit more kingly given Sora’s king motif.

But he’s not a royal here no. He’s looking for something. Going after a thing hidden deep in the darkness.

And as a proper phantom thief needs a code name, Why not call the guy who’s seeking something in the darkness. Why not call him a-

Why not Code Name Seeker for Sora the Phantom Thief eh? eh?

And that’s about the limit of what I got on this idea honestly. I know that Sora is still his lovable goofball self in a general sense, because Edgy Angst Sora isn’t really fun or I think true to the character really, but I think he’d probably be at the very least a touch more bitter than he has been, and perhaps for once in his life, just not feeling making friends at the outset. Up until a problem occurs and he see’s these other kids dealing with both unmitigated bullshit and being absurdly way over their heads.

Also, Yaldabaoth getting his carefully cheated game absolutely derailed, perhaps much sooner letting Maruki do his thing, perhaps letting him do a slower more thorough and less rushed job of things and having the Phantom Thieves + Sora + Akechi Have to deal with it is kind of fun.

Especially since Maruki as Antagonist in this case would be interesting considering probably 1, Akechi would Almost Certainly Be Alive (unambiguously), 2, Haru’s Dad would probably be alive leading to Shido getting his shit wrecked way sooner (I would expect that Haru’s still going to mostly deal with the same general problems given her dad would be in jail albeit still alive. At least in a broad sense, the specifics will very certainly be different), 3, It’d let Akechi get in on the fun of having his “dream” world realized in gaining the phantom thieves as perhaps genuine friends minus at least the baggage of him being the murderer of someone they personally know. He’d still need to atone, and I can’t imagine them letting him off the hook for that, although in the immediate sense absolutely yes they would because Maruki pulling antics (probably more hidden this time I would imagine), and until they fix things at least it’s not like he actually CAN turn himself in because Idealized World is bending over backwards to absolve him which is probably still bullshit in his eyes (He did the crime he’ll do the time damnit!)

And meanwhile Sora is busy dealing with his PTSD basically, while Vanitas crashes on his mind couch and occasionally steers while Sora deals with the mess going on on the inside.

yeah.

Feels good to get that out of the system for the moment.

[edelgoth]

matchup trade with princessofalmyra

@princessofalmyra here you go!! thank you for offering to do this, i really appreciate it!! also reading your profile was Wild we have a lot in common fkljfdlkjdf

i decided to go with two romantic matchups and one platonic one!! <3 these got really long so i’ve just stuck it all under the cut 

so, romantically, i match you with...

claude!!

i think claude would be a fantastic fit for you, both platonically and romantically!! but i think he’s the person you’d be most compatible with in three houses, so i’ll gear this matchup to be romantic 

firstly, i think he hits a lot of the same beats as your ideal partner! he’s a very intelligent, insightful person, and i think you two’d be on the same wavelength there  

he’s definitely intelligent enough to keep up with you, and i think it would be possible for him to keep you on your toes? 

and, while it’s not as obvious as his other traits, claude is very patient; hell, just the fact that he’s slowly plodding towards his goals through the entire game without showing any signs of annoyance or impatience is a pretty good argument for that

and claude’s definitely the type of person who would be honest with you, and would call you out whenever you wrote yourself of. basically? i kind of think he’s the perfect man! 

i think he would be quite drawn to you because of the initial vibe you give off; you’re smart, which is a positive in his book, but you’re also quiet enough that he’d presume you had secrets. and finding out secrets is kind of his thing

and to his delight, it’s not necessarily secrets he discovers, but a mind that can keep up with his. and really, he thinks it’s silly that he even suspected you even had secrets in the first place for how 

and i think he’d really love the fact that you’re both complex and an open book!! he’s, of course, very secretive, but i think he’d admire your approach; it’s something very refreshing for him, after a life spent protecting himself from the duplicity of people’s words and their intentions 

i think you have a lot similarities, but good ones!! the sort of similarities that mean you’d feel like kindred spirits!! 

for one, you’re both agents of chaos; i can see the two of you getting up to all sorts of antics, and having some of the best inside jokes and memes. claude would absolutely send you a harem of memes and cursed images for airdropping purposes 

but you also have an intellectual compatibility! you’re both very intelligent, and i think that would help keep things interesting between you.

the most analytical couple about, tbh,,, you guys are always analyzing something, and you always have something interesting to talk about. 

admittedly, i think overthinking is problem you both run into. but, the potential positive is that you’d probably be able to identify that behaviour in each other quite well; meaning you can hopefully break the more overwhelming thought patterns 

and on a more shallow level, you guys would be a very stylish couple? like you both have The Best Aesthetic (your fashion sense sounds I N C R E D I B L E btw), and you’d be very visually striking! 

but for all your similarities, i think there is also an important balance between the two of you.

for one, i think you’re a lot more gentle and sensitive than him. i think claude seems like the sort of person who can distance himself from the emotionality of a situation (idk if i explained that well, but i think a good example is how he uses cyril as an example of an almyran in his speech to the golden deer, even though cyril is uncomfortable with it) 

so, having you around would help ground him a bit in that regard, i think; your thoughtful and caring nature would help ground a lot of his ideals, if that makes sense? he’s already quite humanistic imo, but he’s not that tert-fe approach that’s a little distant; and i kind of feel like your worldview would help instill compassion into his own approach (i have no idea if this paragraph makes sense i am so sorry)

i think claude is the type of person who would always be reminding you of your own worth; while he admires how much you do for others, and that you tend to put their needs before your own, he’s always quick to remind you to take care of yourself every once in a while. but he’s never pushy or preachy; he always finds clever little ways of expressing that concern to you. 

he would love how passionate you are!! he’s very focused on his own dreams, but i think he tends to hold back how passionate he is about them in favour of a more laidback persona. so, i think he’d really enjoy seeing the passion you brought to things!!

because he’s a nerd tm he’d probably stay up in the library with you when you get really into your readings; he’d probably ask a lot of questions (and get really annoying about it), but it’s just because he wants to share in your interests!!

and i think he’d also love hearing any facet of your inner world you had to share! he’d find it all very fascinating, and he’d appreciate the insight it would give him . and honestly, since he’s so well-read, analytical and observant himself, it would surprise me if he didn’t have his own rich inner world tbh. 

you’re both quite insightful and introspective, and i think that could foster a good amount of understanding between the two of you; and i think that can be very important!! especially because i think he might be able to help you put words to the abstract 

i think claude’s a good person to turn to when you’re doubting yourself. once claude trusts someone, he puts their upmost faith in them; his unshakable belief in you and the things you’re capable of could serve as a tether during those depressive episodes. and while he may not be the best with expressing his true feelings in words, i’m convinced that he’d do all he can to support you and let you know you’re valued. 

absolutely a battle of wills when you get stubborn though. those would certainly make for some interesting moments in your relationship. but i feel like claude would actually kind of enjoy the challenge and difference in perspectives that could bring; which is a very entp thing if you ask me alkjfsdljsdkjl

he absolutely teases you for having your head up in the clouds. he boops your nose whenever you seem to be daydreaming, and always asks you what you were thinking. half the time, he guesses that you were thinking about him

i can also see him teasing you for being too trusting, but that comes from a place of concern. claude isn’t the type who likes to lecture or to tell you what to do; just like when he wants to you look after yourself for a change, he’ll find subtler ways to let you know that he’s worried about you. 

i think claude would really appreciate the fact that you were trustworthy. he can struggle a bit with sincerely opening up to people, and he has a tendency to mistrust others. knowing that he can rely on you, and that you keep your promises, would be a big thing for him! 

finally, i think a lot of your interests overlap!! you both enjoy reading (and i can see you guys sharing books with each other), i can see him being into psychology and character analysis, and i can absolutely see you guys people-watching, trying to figure out who they are and their histories. and, of course, memes,,, never forget the memes 

just a note: you’re also quite compatible when it comes to mbti types! claude, as a ne-dominant, would be a good balance for you (regardless of whether your a ni or si user!) furthermore, i think that ti-users (and i say this as a strong ti user myself) can get so analytical that they can tire other people out. but put two strong ti users together? it’s gold. 

the last thing i wanted to add is more of a vibe that i get from claude, and i’m not sure if it’s entirely textual; your point about trying to be optimistic, while actually struggling with being quite pessimistic and borderline nihilistic (which MOOD holy hell) is something that i feel claude would struggle with too? because he’s got a well-crafted mask that he puts out to the world, i think he hides a lot of the things that he struggles with; and for all his talk of friendship and the future, i think he has a hard time reconciling that with the things that he’s seen and the things he’s dealing with. so, i think having someone who understood what that was like could bring an invaluable comfort. but that’s more or less a headcanon adslkjflkfjd

all in all, i just think you and claude are very compatible as people, and you would work wonderfully as a couple!! 

(the next two are gonna be shorter bc i didn’t want to keep you waiting, but i hope that’s okay!!) 

i also match you with...

ashe!!

admittedly, i’m a little less passionate about this matchup (but honestly, i don’t think anything can quite top claude, and he can bring a better intellectual rapport to the table), but i think ashe is also quite a good match for you!!

i think he can fit your profile of an ideal partner quite well, as he’s insightful in his own way, and he also seems to have a rich inner world. he’s also the sort to encourage you to consider your own feelings, because they’re important too. 

on the whole, ashe is a lot softer than claude, and i think that would be a key difference in your relationship. ashe is more obviously fond, and he’s not afraid of expressing how he feels. 

i also think that ashe would be more mindful of you neglecting tasks that aren’t connected to what you’re hyper-focusing on, and is more likely to voice his concerns directly to you. but in general, i think he’s just very kind and attentive, and would always be looking out for your wellbeing! 

you’re both very sweet and caring, and i think that’s a lovely thing you’d bring into your relationship with one another!! 

i said earlier that he’s very obviously fond, and i think that fondness would permeate your entire relationship; you’re both gentle, and i think you both share that sensitivity and emotionality! 

i think you’d also be very thoughtful with each other, and that can be a very beautiful thing; ashe is delighted to know that you always have his back, and he’s always taking care of you (this boy definitely has ‘acts of service’ as one of his love languages hhhhhh)

ashe seems like he’d have a very calming presence, and i think that would be good whenever you were overthinking or when you were experiencing those feelings of doubt. and i think he’d be able to relate to you to an extent; he’s quite insecure about his past, so he knows what it’s like to experience some of those feelings. but, he would be excellent at providing you with that comforting presence. 

i can also see him being a big fan of your creative work!! he would love your paintings and drawings, and would absolutely hang them up on his walls so he can look at them and be reminded of you. and he would obviously love your writing!! he’s a big reader in the first place, and i think he would be really touched to know you trust him enough to let him read your work 

and on top of that, he’s very encouraging!! always giving you positive feedback, pointing out areas you’ve improved, bringing up little details he liked, etc. 

i think you’d have a much more peaceful relationship, too; you mentioned that you enjoy peace and quiet, and i think you and ashe would be the sort of couple who often enjoy being ‘alone together’; you just enjoy being in each other’s company, but you don’t have to say anything 

you have a lot of similar interests!! as with claude, you both like to read (and as with claude, you two would trade books all the time), you both enjoy baking and cooking (cute domestic activity to do together!!) 

i also feel like ashe would have an interest in classical literature, as one of his biggest loves is for traditional knight stories? i’m also not sure if it’s textual or not, but i can easily imagine ashe having a big love for cats and dogs, too! i also think he’d really enjoy role-playing games!! they just seem up his alley to me 

and while he might not be able to engage with it as well as claude, i think he’d really enjoy hearing your more analytical thoughts. he’s a very good listener, and he’d always be asking you questions to make sure you knew he was genuinely paying attention. 

as for mbti, i think ashe is an infp (or an enfp; i could see an argument either way), so your functions would balance each other out in interesting ways, i think! fi and fe can provide constructive alternate perspectives, as can ti and te. it’s one of those sorts of things where, while there may not be perfect comprehension of each other’s point of view all the time, it can definitely incur growth. 

i think ashe is another very, very good option, and i think he’s the sort of person who could bring you a lot of comfort, and who would ensure that you felt loved and cared for!!

platonically, i match you with...

annette!!

i think you and annette would make the most delightful pair of friends!! 

i really do think you guys would have a great rapport!! you’ve both similar in the fact that you love learning and reading about the things that interest you, and i think you guys could have the most interesting conversations about your areas of interest!! 

you’re both very clever and intelligent, and i think you two would keep each other on your toes (can i just say,,, you, claude, and annette? incredible squad)!! while she’s not as analytical as claude (their support is incredible akljdsflj) but i can definitely see her enjoying it

and, you guys are both very sweet and caring!! i can see you two being very supportive and encouraging with each other, and an absolute power friendship when it comes to studying,,, 

i think annette’s own optimism could potentially help you combat that pessimism? she’s just so bright and so cheerful, and she sees so much potential int he world; and i think that could be really motivating!! 

absolutely the sort of friendship where you can just talk for hours and hours, to the point of losing track of time; whether you’re in the refectory, the library, your dorms,,, wherever you are, you can just talk about anything (and nobody else can quite catch up)

annette is a very emotionally accessible person imo, so i think that would make it really easy for the two of you to connect!! she’s the sort of friend who would always have your back, and would always be trustworthy; kind of like you!! 

while you can be too forgiving, i feel like annette is the sort of person who’d stick up for you, and 

okay but admittedly you’d definitely get into overthinking spirals together. but you’d be there comforting each other, so that’s a positive, maybe?? but i think you’d both have that particular anxious energy, especially when things are high stress 

the two of you also always have your heads up in the clouds,,, you’re in your own world when you’re together, but honestly? that’s kind of adorable!! 

i feel like she may not totally ‘get’ your humour sometimes (i just think he’s,,, very pure), but she’d be a willing sidekick!! like claude, she’d also send you stuff to airdrop; sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s like,,, a minion meme from facebook that should’ve died long, long ago,,, 

annette’s also quite interested in beauty (and i’d assume by extension fashion?) so she loves your aesthetic. you guys would absolutely go on shopping trips together, while you excitedly try out new aesthetics (and buy every single scarf in the store alkfsdj) also; redheads!! redhead power friendship!! adorable!!

i also think annette is an arguable entp (i could see arguments for other types too) which only ups your compatibility!! 

and as with the other two, i think she shares a lot of your interests!! once again, i think she also has a voracity for reading, and i think she’d also enjoy role-playing games (if she can take the time to relax every one in a while!). i think she’d also quite enjoy character analysis and typology, since it can grant her better understanding about the people around her.

the short of it is that i think you and annette would just get on really, really well, and you’d be the cutest friends in the whole entire world!!  

also as a side note, i think you’d get along quite well with mercedes and dorothea as well!!

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh ��itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[aviationfiction]

XXX

Dante St. James

Upon slipping the other Air Jordan I sneaker onto my foot, I glanced towards the slightly uncovered enormous window and glossed my eyes over the unrivaled Los Angeles skyline. Though there’s is no way possible it can compete with New York City’s and the view of it I have from my own bedroom, it did a decent enough job in relaxing my body and allowing my mind to focus on the hectic day ahead. I’d made it through a mental rundown of this afternoon’s tasks before the stirring between the sheets of the canopy style California King Bed abruptly interrupted my thought process and completely captured my attention. As the rays of the sun subtly peaked through the curtain’s opening, they cascaded over her ever smooth skin and illuminated her nudity and the top sheet that barely covered it. I froze; partially because I didn’t want to awaken her but most of all, because it’s become a normal response to the breathtaking sight that I can’t quite get enough of or used to.

Over the years of coming into my manhood, my version of my dream woman transition from being a foolish figment of my imagination to an afterthought because the concept seemed not only dated, but childish. For friends and the occasional cousins who were within my age bracket, their versions of that particular woman consisted of about five to ten different celebrity women morphed into one person with the capabilities of a God, domesticated nature of their mothers, and the intimate capabilities of their wildest dreams while yet trapped into the unrealistic sexist standard of being untouched by any other man. As a matured, I began to seek instant compatibility. I figured that it was a fair enough necessity to judge a woman and relationship by. It’s what also withheld me from going beyond simple conversations and trapped me in a limited amount of dates. My short lived college relationship seemed to have started with a decent amount of compatibility and yet the lack of there being enough drifted us apart. Later on down the line, I revised that standard to testing out the waters and seeing if we could learn to be compatible. I lived that life with Samira for a couple of months and realized it had no standing. I then left it up to the higher power and universe to work something out and present it to me as one of my greatest gifts at some point in my life or to give me a sign of what to understand and seek while awaiting her. Both happened. As I sit here and stare at the being that has become an essential in my own world, I know that she is the woman of my dreams. I cannot deny questioning it and even wallowing in fear for having fell so hard in such a quick paced manner and yet every question has been answered, every fear is quickly alleviated, and every prayer is answered with a deeper understanding of who we are individually and as partners. My life hasn’t been the same since my eyes landed on her tear stained face. Days after that encounter, I found myself bitterly chuckling because she filtered into my thoughts and remained locked there despite my multiple attempts to distract myself. My nights in bed were filled with questions of her well being. My urge to get back to that jet company exceeded any other desire I had. What I thought was vacuous infatuation turned into this; all of this. My humility and thankfulness is boundless.

“Babe.” As her groggy voice filled my ears, I quickly stood up and approached her side of the bed. When she reached for the empty side, I leaned over to soothe her with a kiss to the side of her neck and a soft caress to her bare thigh.

“Go back to sleep. I have a few things to do so I’m heading out.”

“What time is it?” As she placed her hand over mine, I contemplated whether I should tell her that or not.

“Noon. It’s still early. Continue resting okay? Neither one of us slept much.” I had every urge to climb back into bed, wrap her up into my arms again, and fall back into the slumber my body so badly wanted but last minute details are awaiting me and I’d rather not have another deafening wake up call from Stacey.

 “Okay. I love you.” The words flowed from her supple lips so effortlessly and arose those normal chills I get in the napes of my neck whenever we’re within one another’s presence. My lips met the side of her neck once more and then the soft skin of her cheek as she drifted back into her slumber.

“I love you too.” I placed my American Express Centurion card and fifteen hundred dollars in cash on a nightstand before quietly exiting the bedroom and closing the door behind me. Fredrick’s slick persuasion caused us all to end up at Playhouse last night, including Stacey who rolled her eyes at the thought of being in the Los Angeles nightclub amongst the disgustingly small circle that is Hollywood’s celebrity scene. All it took was one drink for me and about two for Autumn to worsen our already raging hormones. I don’t even remember the poor excuse we used to leave, but we were gone within an hour of our arrival and pulling one another’s clothes off before the door to our executive suite could close behind us. Somewhere in the midst of catching our breaths and yet her straddling my lap for round two, she playfully scolded me for having sweated out her hair and stated that I’d be paying for it to be styled for the Baraya Los Angeles grand opening tonight. I’m keeping my word. The cash is for her hair and the card is for whatever catches her eyes if she passes by some stores around the city. I’ve yet to see what she intends on wearing this evening but I’m assured in whatever it is being a cause for us to sweat out her hair yet again but at least the event would be behind us.

Before exiting the suit, I grabbed my Nike backpack off the living room couch and tossed it over my shoulder as the door closed behind me. The elevator ride was as quiet as I needed it to be and surprisingly, so was the walk through the main lobby of The Four Seasons. I knew I was the last one to leave out of my comfort zone because Mike had already texted me and told me that I was on “light skinned people time” while they waited for me to come downstairs.

“What took you so long? Don’t pull that Mariah Carey ass shit no more.” Drips of Fredrick’s Gatorade trickled down the side of his mouth as he laughed at Mike’s unnecessary complaint and my middle finger was the only response that I could muster up.

“You look tired. Have you slept?”

“Not much.” Stacey examined my face and her eyes narrowed in curiosity as she awaited an excuse for why that was.

“Why not?”

“Y’all ready to go? This isn’t court. What am I being interrogated for?”

“Oh, I get it. You’re cranky because you and Autumn were humping all night long even though you knew you had to get up early. Now you’re tired as hell.” Of course she’d go there. Even if her assumption was completely inaccurate or baseless, she’d still go there because she can’t help herself nor is there a filter in her throat that waters down anything she says. “Go ahead and tell me I’m lying.”

“You’re not lying Stace. Look at his face. Most of all, look at his neck.” Fredrick pointed at a spot on the left side of my neck and I instantly reached my hand up to cover whatever love mark it could have possibly been. I don’t know how I missed it while glancing at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.

“There’s nothing there, but you damn sure just told on yourself.” Their laughter was loud enough to catch the attention of a number of people exiting through the revolving door. Though my lips curved into a subtle smirk, I suppressed my own laughter so I could refrain from giving them the satisfaction of getting off a shitload of jokes on me today.

“Y'all are clowns.”

“Aye man. It’s a beautiful thing.” Before Mike could pat my back in jest, I opened the door behind me and stepped outside. “She stole you from us and I’ve come to terms with that. We all have. You’re married and you’re not even married. Shit, are you married? I don’t know when it comes to you two these days.”

“Nah. I’m not married yet.”

As we piled into the awaiting SUV and took the thirty minute drive to our now completed Los Angeles location, I was thankful Stacey called for a driver. My sleepiness would spark up a restlessness that wouldn’t have been able to handle the never-ending and absolutely ridiculous Los Angeles traffic. While New York is supposedly the city that never sleeps, it’s laughable to speak on our rush hours when there’s literally always traffic on the roads and highways on the West Coast. There doesn’t even have to be an accident, construction, or some trivial hold up. The traffic is embedded within the city’s day to day life. It’s a norm that I can’t get with which is hilarious because I have a home in Malibu that I plan to live in at some point in my life. I suppose I have to mentally toughen myself up to bare it, but for now?

Hell no.

“This is absolutely breathtaking. You three have yet to do anything less than amaze me.”

Twenty-four floors above the downtown skyline, Baraya at The W Hotel, Los Angles is the embodiment of three visionaries coming together to supersede what we’d already done out in New York City. Initially, there was the idea tossed around of literally replicating the New York restaurant’s interior design and ambiance but it was myself who tossed that idea out of the window when I explained how both cities are absolutely nothing alike. While the three of us have our own biases towards the city we were raised in, there had to be acknowledgement of the Los Angeles tourists and it’s natives who stand by their city, it’s impact, and most of all, the vibe. After having secured a deal with the W Hotel, and choosing to build it on it’s top floor, it was a no brainer to use the skyline as the sole influence for the interior. Fredrick implemented the concept of creating a dining and lounging experience perfectly meshed together for a variety of age groups to enjoy. A group of women could come and relish an outing together for a girl’s night, a man can impress the hell out of the woman of his affections with a date night, and it’s the perfect setting for business dinners or an outing with colleagues. The custom pendant lighting served as a continuation of the L.A. skyline, by pulling it inside and continuing it above the heads of our guests. The atmosphere of the New York location is all about sophistication but this one is all about the grown and sexy. It makes me damn near want to remodel.

“Thanks Stace. I can’t believe it all came together like this. Look at this place.” Mike turned in a complete circle and crossed his arms over his chest in a moment of pride and contentment.I nodded. Hell, there was a point I doubted we’d be able to close the deal with Starwood. I don’t give a damn how educated we are, the accomplishments that followed, and the wealth that we’ve amassed. There has never been an instance where in some capacity we weren’t reminded of the color of our skin and our “place” when conducting business and trying to close a deal that no one within our ethnic background has attempted. Whether it’s the extensive research into our backgrounds and the onslaught of questions that follows it or the snide remarks about our kind and culture that are masked as jokes, it’s never as easy to leave the table with agreements made and contracts signed as it would be if we were of their kind. Not only does it take genuine determination, it takes being just as much of a shark, master manipulator, and slick fuck as they are. If I had to give Richard credit for anything in my life other than childhood financing, it would certainly be that.

“Not to sound arrogant, but this is the kind of place I could see myself eating dinner or having a drink at frequently. This is literally my style and I’ve yet to see anyone master that other than us. It’s was perfect switch shit up with the restaurant while keeping the nightclub as golden and first class as the one in New York. We gave them something new and yet something known and raved about. Pat your damn selves on the back fellas; shit you too Stacey. You’re always the essential helping hand we need. This is our accomplishment.” His words reigned truth in every single sense. Stacey isn’t only essential in helping. We see to it that she has actual stake in most of our endeavors. Initially she argued against it, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

“A shot to that?” I suggested as I pointed at the fully stocked bar. Since our bartenders weren’t in yet for the grand opening this evening, it was left up to me to pour everyone’s vice into four glasses. Fredrick? Patròn Silver. Mike? Rèmy Martin XO. Stacey? Malibu Coconut Rum. She’s a lightweight. Myself? The good ol’ potent Hennessy.

“Shots not only to accomplishing yet another goal we set out to make happen, but also to being a family and continuing to do all of this together. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Love, family.” The sound effect of our glasses clinking together solidified our toast and we tossed back the contents inside of the glasses.

“Lets get a good look at downstairs and then get out of here. I promised Erica I’d take her to find shoes and accessories for tonight and then I need to pick up a shirt from the Tom Ford store over on Madison.” Fredrick tossed the glass on the counter and Stacey smirked as her eyebrow flew up.

“Mr. Only Spend My Money On Me is taking his girlfriend shopping? So you really love her huh? It’s quite interesting to see you all letting go of those boyish ways and actually becoming grown men. You all literally proved that men are teens until they’re damn near forty. How cliché.”

“First of all, I’m not damn near forty. Second, I’m not selfish. I just don’t prefer to spend the money I work my ass off for on temporary people. Third, I do love her. I can’t even deny that.”

“Oh shit. He finally admits it. It only took your ass how long? A year and some change? Shit, two years? You’ve been knowing her for a minute and refused to even acknowledged that you liked her. Then you denied being in a relationship. Now you’re in love? You and this Al B Sure face ass really has Satan chilling in winter gear right now.” Our laughter filled the entire room as Mike finished his statement and I shook my head at his antics. He’ll never fail to make his additional two cents a mixture of truth, jokes, and insults to keep the moments lighthearted between all of us. He and Stacey are notorious for it and yet the both of them serve as the perfect balance of tough love and endless support that both Fredrick and I need. “You’re taking her to Christian Louboutin aren’t you?”

“Shit, probably. That and Giuseppe are her favorite spots.”

“If you’re dropping stacks on shoes, I know this man here is probably buying Autumn property. He’s vomit worthy romance film in love with Esmerelda.”

“Esmerelda?” Stacey and I both called out the name in unison. His statement went completely over my head. I can’t even get Autumn to allow me to buy her a pair of socks let alone some property. I just want to spoil her. I know men typically do it for the stroking of their own egos, but for me it’s because she deserves it. She doesn’t spoil herself enough. She gives me a challenge when it comes to doing it on a normal day to day and is keeping up with that when it comes to her birthday. This evening, I’m wearing a damn near seven thousand dollar watch she gifted to me for mine and yet all she wants is a pair of Kanye West’s kicks for her birthday. Her stubbornness is wild.

“She looks like her. Y'all never seen The Hunchback of Norte Dame? Autumn looks just like Esmerelda.”

“You watch Disney on your spare time?”

“Shut the fuck up. I know what I’m talking about. Look it up. Your girl looks like her.”

“Okay, Mike. I see what those young ass paralegals you be running through has you watching during pillow talk.” I glanced back at his widened eyes as I turned to towards the elevators and the sounds of him pleading his case for why my claim is inaccurate made me snicker the whole entire way downstairs to the nightclub. He’ll refuse to admit it but a lot of those paralegals literally aspire to work in the same building as him. He's a hot commodity around his firm but the best part about it is there isn’t a single person who’s employed there who doesn’t respect and appreciate him. No matter what their job position is, their ranking, or the amount of money they’re bringing in, I’ve yet to ever hear of anyone not speaking highly of him. He’s a hot shot lawyer so it’s a no brainer he’ll have paralegals, legal secretaries, attorneys, and even judges trying to get into his presence on a personal level. I’m just waiting to see which one’s going to actually keep his attention beyond playful flirting or one casual dinner date that every now and then leads to a night in their bedroom, because it’s damn sure not happening in his. The day I hear about him laying up with a woman in his house, is the day I’ll know he’s in love.

Until then he’ll flirt and pretend like he’s too busy to be the sucker for love that he truly is.

Lunch was pizza and because of that, I felt guilty because Autumn wasn’t with us. Before leaving, I ordered a personal pizza for her just in case she wanted it for either lunch or some sort of a snack as she readied herself for this evening’s festivities. Upon my arrival back to our privacy, the only signs of her presence were her possessions and her scent. I knew she planned to get her hair done but I thought she was going to pull one of those moves where she pays the hairstylist to make a personal visit to her. Instead, she chose to go to whatever salon Heather suggested. Of course, as I expected, the cash and my credit card were in the place that I left them in. I can already tell that I’m going to have to exhaust myself in trying to get through to her unnecessary pride and make her comfortable enough to confide in me for everything that comes with companionship.

A small smirk tugged at my lips as I glanced at my now steamed shirt hanging on the door of the bedroom’s closet and the rest of my attire for tonight neatly laid out so I’d be able to grab it with ease. On the night table was the jewelry box containing my Cartier watch and cufflinks and my Tom Ford loafers were conveniently at the foot of the bed. A chuckle followed my thoughts of how I’d occasionally picture what it would be life to have a woman doing all of these things for me. What makes it all the more amazing is my lack of expecting it. She does it because she wants to.

I’m so proud of you

While standing in front of the mirror in the suite’s master bathroom, I read aloud the message she wrote on one of the Post-It notes she tacked onto the corner of the mirror on my side the sink.

Your endeavors aren’t what make you successful. It’s your heart. It’s that beautiful mind. It’s your soul.

That message was on it’s own neon green little slip of paper right under the first message. In all of the racing that my mind had been doing, until that toast an hour or two ago, I hadn’t taken a moment to truly bask in yet another task on my list of dream endeavors having been executed and completed. As Autumn has told me time and time again, I tend not to celebrate myself or take time out to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I’m rarely interested in compliments from people outside of my circle and I tend to shrug off theirs as well. I’ve yet to actually stop immediately jumping into what’s next and appreciate the now. It’s Autumn who’s been influencing me to celebrate everything as they come because despite any preparations, you don’t know where life is going to take you next. Her whimsical nature is rubbing off on me in some aspects which is why something as small as her little notes feels so grand. No materialistic item can measure up to her love being put into words and thoughtfully tacked onto a mirror simply to put a smile on my face. To have her be proud of me counts tremendously because she now is apart of the reason why I do everything that I do.

After wrapping up a quick phone call with Stacey, I flopped down on the bed and allowed my body to sink into the comfort of the down comforter and the memory foam it covered. The scent of berries and cinnamon filled my nose as my face meshed against her pillow and I allowed the faint sound of the television to send me to an on and off couple of hours of slumber. Though I heard her when she returned, not even the sound of Autumn doing her best to quietly move around the room could coerce me to move my lazy body off of the bed.

“You can have the bathroom whenever you’re ready Suga. I took my shower.”

“Nah, you can have it. I know you have to finish up your make up and whatever else. I’ll use the other one.” I still hadn’t moved. I could barely lift my head to take a glance at her. When I forcefully opened my eyes, I happened to catch her as she walked around the bed and to the closet. Her wavy hair cascaded down her back and slightly sway with every subtle switch in her walk.

“You’re tired huh? I kept telling you that you should go to bed but no, Mr. Endless Stamina wanted to be the Energizer Bunny.” My groggy chuckle slipped out easily as I thought back to the moments of her warnings that I needed to get some rest and the moans that immediately followed them.

“The Energizer Bunny is just recharging for tonight’s rounds.” Her sudden silence was followed by a pillow crashing into my head. My laughter harmonized with her own and she hit me with it once more before dropping it.

“Go and take your shower.”

“Get in with me.” A chuckle and the shaking of her head quickly followed my request. I should have known she’d deny me.

“Oh, no, no, no. I’ve already done so and I have things to do. I let you sleep longer than I actually should have. So, it’s time to get up and get yourself ready.” I took her into consideration for an additional five minutes and didn't move until she was tugging at my shirt and doing her best to completely pull me out of the the bed. My vengeance was a reach up under her silk robe and smacking my hand into the completely bare flesh it was covering. I had every intention to wait until the last possible hour to handle it but it’s just my luck that the woman I’m in love with and the woman who is undoubtedly my big sister share a trait in staying ahead of things for me. I knew she wasn’t playing when she literally followed me to the second bathroom with my necessities in her hands and closed the door behind me once I was secured inside. As I turned on the shower water, I could faintly hear music being skimmed through. Of course. She rarely, if ever, gets ready without it.

“Do you need help with your cuff links?” In the half an hour I’d spent under the shower head drowning in my thoughts, she further transformed her already sublime appearance and entranced me in her usual manner. Her loosely curled and wavy hair fell over her shoulders in such a full and grand manner while my eyes panned over the make up she’d done on her face. Usually, she keeps it natural looking but this evening, she opted to create some sort of a silvery, muted grey, and maybe even black look over and slightly around her eyes. Everything else was natural, including her nude colored lips, but her eyes were dark and attention grabbing. She’d found a way to not only enhance but to brighten the sage green that I’m obsessed with. Her enthralling beauty should be illegal. It’s graceful and yet the most tantalizing thing ever.

“Thank you.” Once they were in her hands, she carefully secured what was apart of her birthday gift to me on the cuffs of my sleeves and then properly straightened my black cocktail jacket. The floral jacquard print certainly isn’t my taste but she saw something in it that she liked and persuaded me into making it my option for the evening. She also is the reason I’m wearing a white shirt instead of going with black in it’s entirety for every piece I’m wearing. The white is to compliment whatever jumpsuit or pants contraption I’m going to assume is being covered by her robe.

“Are you excited?” Her head swayed from side to side as sound of The O’Jays stimulated and serenaded her soul. I nodded to answer her question and untied the loose knot binding her robe together and allowed it to fall open to reveal what was under it. The suspense was killing me and the revelation completed the job. The angelic white against her sun kissed skin served like a piece of the heavens gracefully laying upon the earth. As I glanced over it’s left half, my eyes helplessly bulged at the intricacies of the thin material looping and intersecting to prevent the slipping of her nipple while revealing quite a bit of the skin of her upper body. The jumpsuit teeters the fine line between sexy and risqué and yet she in all of her grace made it tasteful and alluring. My hand grazed over her amusing Lil’ Kim inspired moment and I mimicked Diana Ross in my own manner by giving her breast a subtle squeeze.

“It’s Versace Atelier and it’s old. I dug this out of one of those garment bags lying around my parent’s basement and decided to bring it because I’ve never worn it. Hell, I’m surprised the white hasn’t faded into that awful yellowish color.”

“You look so damn good.”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely. You’re stunning.” Somehow in the midst of our speaking, I joined her in the swaying back and forth. To further it, I pulled her closer by her hips and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Oh?” One of her arms slid up until it was draped over the back of my neck and I grabbed the other to lace our fingers together. “You can slow dance too? Well aren’t I lucky.”

“There are a lot of things that I can do. Only for you though.” In all of the times that I’ve done this, it’s always and only been with one woman; my mother. If I’d be within her view while she and Richard’s favorite oldies blared from the speakers around the house, she’d wrapped me up into her arms while the both of them attempted to teach me how to woo a woman with their fraudulent love. It was their way of paying some sort of attention to me and fooling themselves into believing they were being hands on parents. I remember this song being played amongst her favorites on those Saturday mornings when she’d actually have Richard all to herself.

“This was my parents wedding song.”

“Really?” She nodded and slowly ran her hand over the back of my head. “Good choice.”

“It is.” Our lips met with a soft peck. “I got you a congratulatory gift, with help from a friend.”

“Did you? What did you get?” I heard her discussing some sort of surprise with Mike but I didn’t think it was for me. She carefully worded everything she spoke about in order to conceal the receivers name, so instead of being nosy, I summed it up to being something for one of her relatives.

“I’ll give it to you when the songs over. I believe you’ll like it. It’s for your office at your apartment. I feel like it needs a pop of color and this will do it.” A painting? Granted that I love art, I could imagine her figuring out some kind of way to incorporate some of my favorite artists into maybe a collage or poster for the wall. Maybe it’s a sculpture or some type of mosaic fixture. Maybe it’s a photo of us on one of our many trips that we’ve taken. Actually, I hope it’s that. I’ve been meaning to have something printed up, so I could hang it up in the living room. I’ve even considered it just being her. There’s this one particular photo of her standing in front of the Eiffel Tower that I’m in love with.

“Give me a hint.”

“Hmm. Vino.”

“Vino? What the hell is that?” Her eyes widened as the song slowly faded out and she cocked her head back in surprise.

“Seriously? Hmm. I’m going to have to question just how much of a fan you are now.” Once she was out of my arms, she hurriedly went into the closet and rummaged around for what she was looking for. With excitement, she unfolded the all too familiar yellow, purple, and gold Jersey for me to see.

“Vino. As in Kobe. Doesn’t he always say that?” My laughter followed her question.

“Yeah, that’s some nickname he gave himself. I don’t call him that shit. He’s been and will always be Bean to me.”

“I’m sure you have one of these, don’t you?”

“A jersey. Yeah. I have two.” I didn’t say it to rain on her parade because I’m appreciative either way.

“But are they signed?” She slowly turned it around so I’d see the back and there, in bold black marker, was Kobe Bryant’s famous signature sitting inside of the four of his twenty four jersey number.

“Are you serious?” I didn’t hesitate to grab it out of her hands to examine the signature and it certainly was there. I swore one of these days I’d run into him and get something signed, but it’s never happened. I’m not one of those people who shows their face at events for the sake of faux popularity or to feel like I fit in amongst certain circles. Outside of attending a couple of games over the years, I’ve yet to meet and converse with him. With his retirement looming, I already had plans to make it happen at All Star and here my lady is, ahead of the game.

“Mhm. I have both his number eight and the twenty four signed. The other one is in there too. Thank God for Heather. I gave them to her the last time she was in town and she pulled it off. I figure I’ll get frames for them and hang them up for you. You like it?” My answer was a kiss. We’re not even in an unspoken gift competition because she’s winning by a landslide. Her efforts have yet to be anything less than impressive and meaningful. She makes it a genuine effort to keep a smile on my face no matter what either one of us are dealing with and I’ve never had that outside of the three people in my life that I call my real family. Her love, much like theirs, is one that I’ve never had to question. I see it in the way she stares at me, I feel it in her touch, and she showers me in it with her actions.

“I love it. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome. Let me get into my shoes so we can get going.” I snuck another kiss and carefully placed the jersey down on the bed. Within minutes, Stacey will be calling and yelling about my lagging so I’d rather hurry up and get out of the door before she rips my head off with no regard.

“I’ll be moving around a lot tonight, but I’ll make my way back to you whenever I can, alright?”

“I know. No worries.”

No worries is how I pray things will continue to be tonight.

I had absolutely nothing to do with the guest list nor did I ask any questions. That’s Fredrick’s expertise and his streak certainly continues tonight. His knack for drawing in a celebrity presence never fails to impress me and yet I do not see him hanging amongst any of these people. He’s an architect and even so, his phone book is filled with some of the biggest names in multiple entertainment industries and the list continues to grow. Whether it’s his suave personality and the way he works a room or his undeniable charm that woos the panties off of women within minutes, it works to his advantage because they gravitate to him like flies on shit whenever he’s within their presence. It’s no different tonight as we welcomed guests and mingled from table to table to politely welcome all in attendance to our cuisine experience. I know they say it’s not about what you know but rather who you know, but he takes that quotable to a level that I don’t believe I can reach. Shit, I don’t want to. Though we tend to shy away from using investors, that’s my lane, along with the negotiating. Mike? All legal. He makes sure everything has the appropriate legitimacy and is within legal standing to be successfully executed. Stacey’s the follow up and back up. If we miss something, she’s sure to catch it. The fake ass Calvin Klein model that is Fred can have the networking portion of it. The most interesting part about it tonight is Erica being by his side as he does it.

Yeah, he’s going to marry her.

“Yo. Did you see this?” As I stood near the entrance of the kitchen, Mike passed me his phone and I skimmed over the headline of the Forbes article. “Effective Immediately: A&M Longtime Partner and Investor Rick Malone Steps Down.”

A lump formed in the middle of my throat at the thought of such a reality and what it potentially means for no one else other than myself. Rick and I have had a long and upstanding relationship with one another that stems back to my childhood. He’s watched me become a man and a pivotal part of the company. He held me in high regard and though I’d shun it, he often used words like progressive and the future when speaking of me in board meetings and negotiations. He would have told me something like this is coming whether it be in person or through a phone call. I’d been the first person he reached out to when everything went down with his son and I did everything in my power to reverse that decision and the tension that brewed before and exploded after it. At the time, I was no match for Richard’s stubbornness and his revolting hunger to have me in a position of power right under him. This has his name written all over it and it’s sudden nature fueled the once dormant fears that have been budding within the pit of my stomach and tormenting my mind for the past couple of months.

“It’s interesting.”

“He’s coming tonight. Your father that is.” He shot me a glance as I passed his phone back to him. I’d already known that before Stacey could shoot me a warning. He wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to show his face as a prideful father to a son he believes he built better than anyone elses’. This is his element. He’s the giant in every room and the snake when backs are turned.

“I know.”

“You told Autumn?”

“I told her it was a possibility yesterday. I didn’t necessarily confirm it. She wants to meet them. From my point of view, I don’t understand why but I’m not going to stand in her way.”

“You sure?” In unison, our eyes panned over to Autumn who was standing at the restaurant’s bar with a glass of wine in her possession and giggling along side Stacey. If I had it my way, she’d go downstairs ahead of me because I know they have no intention to step into a nightclub, but I’d rather not blindside or hide her. I’ll never do that.

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” He wouldn’t question me any further. If it were anything else, it would have been a small interrogation happening on the spot, but when it comes to this particular situation he remains short and straight to the point as I prefer it.

I remember when we were working on opening up the New York City location. Though it was quite a bit of a struggle to balance, the excitement within me was the endless adrenaline rush I needed to multitask A&M and our project equally. We spent years talking about opening up a restaurant and a nightclub so to see it coming to fruition had easily turned that year into one of the best ones of my life. It wasn’t myself who told Richard and Elizabeth about it over a Sunday dinner, it was Matthew. While preparing for a conference call, I’d been on the phone with our contractor trying to figure out why our budget was increasing by another hundred thousand dollars within a day. Had it been something trivial, I would have hung up the phone and handled it another time, but I couldn’t and I allowed him in on what was supposed to be quietly kept on my end. I damn near thought we were going to have a genuine brother to brother moment when he assured me that not only was he proud of me, but also that he’d keep it to himself, but I shouldn’t have known better. Like a gossiping school girl, he blurted it out days later and left what was dear to me out on the table to be critiqued and damn near ripped to shreds by the two people I didn’t want to hear it from. For my mother, her curiosity about my being interested in the culinary and nightclub industry held hints of condescending amusement. She quickly called me a hermit crab who never leaves his shell and wondered why I’d ever put myself out there to be the often times awkward person she knows me to be. For Richard, his agenda was about his pockets, nothing more or less. He damn near nagged about the potential for it to be one huge distraction and it not being as profitable as what I’m doing at A&M. According to him, I needed to focus on expansion of the business that was built by actual family instead of a pipe dream venture with my friends because I’m a grown man and should know better than to get into business with friends. That evening worsened the trend of myself either barging out or leaving those dinners earlier than expected. A Sunday dinner in my apartment while I bask in solitude has given me far more peace than that bullshit.

In those early teen years, I wanted an Uncle Phil or a Carl Winslow kind of father. Shit, I would even take the headstrong James Evans. I wanted a Claire Huxtable maternal figure who understood what it took to be nurturing, understanding, and stern all at once. Television is scripted and often times unrealistic depending upon the program, but I knew that there was realism trickled in those family oriented shows. My friends have that. Their parents didn’t ship them off to boarding school when their screw ups continued to have a plague like affect on everyone around them. Shit, even the kids at that school had normal relationships with their parents. I could of had it at some point. My uncle wanted me. He’d even gone as far as assuring them that it didn’t even have to be an official adoption. Richard’s ego and his underhanded competition with him nipped that in the bud immediately. Besides, they’d already had plans to send me to London prior to him even asking. While away, I didn’t become cold. I had no interest in becoming hardened and completely shut down because of my circumstances. I adjusted and raised myself. I became knowledgeable and cultured by living and analyzing the success, failures, and mishaps of others. I don’t look at myself as bitter. I’m indifferent and I’ve outgrown that yearning to be the son who they accept and actually want. Now, I’d just prefer they stay the fuck out of my face.

“Hey.” I could feel the smoothness of Autumns hands touching my face and interrupting my thoughts. I’d lost track of how long I’d been lingering behind.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?” Only about a dozen or more times since our arrival. Her gasps, squeals, and raving hadn’t stopped. If she were trying to make me any more big-headed about all of this, my head should’ve exploded an hour or two ago.

“Did I tell you how much that means to me?” I drew her body in for a hug and a kiss to her forehead. She could tell me all night if she pleases. It’ll never grow old.

“I’m so proud of you. I really am. I keep looking around and I’m in awe of everything you all put into this. The ambiance is beyond anything that I could’ve ever imagined and you all have outdone yourselves. No matter what you’re doing, that brilliant mind yours finds a way to take it to the next level every single time. You don’t give yourself enough credit so I’m going to drown you in it. I’m inspired.”

“The inspiration is inspired. I suppose that’s fair enough. Thank you.”

“You kill me with all of that.”

“What? That you inspire me? You do. It’s the most important kind of inspiration. You inspire and influence who I am as a human being; as a man.” Her finger tips grazed the back of my tingling neck and those intoxicating eyes stared into mine. Though I know my words didn’t go unheard, the manner in which she stared was beyond them. Her lips fell agape and her eyes brightened and softened within an instant.  

“You’re so beautiful.” My surroundings morphed into nothingness as I basked in the feeling of her words and the caressing of her hands. I don’t know how much more deeper in love I can fall. I don’t have any parts of my body and mind that aren’t already synced to her every word and movement. She fills my dreams as I sleep and is who I reach for when the slumber is over. Her scent follows me everywhere I go, no matter the setting. I am captivated. I want her and I have her. I have a school boy crush on a woman who supersedes women who have graced films, music videos, or magazines. I’m enamored, smitten, besotted…all of it. I’d marry her tomorrow if she were ready for it. That would be my greatest accomplishment thus far and then our children would come along and further enhance that. I want nothing more than for us to be one of those couples who spent all of our lives together and then I want to die first, because she has the strength to live on without me. I can’t say the same for myself. I’m okay with a lot things in my life being temporary, but not this. This can’t be that.

“Can I borrow her for a photo please? ” Before I could protest it, Stacey was pulling Autumn out of my arms and hauling her back to the bar for whatever photo op moment she and Erica were concocting. I’m not sure if it was planned, but they looked like the black Charlie’s Angels in their white and silver attire. Of course, Mike jumping into the middle of their moment made himself Charlie. He can’t help himself and we all love him for it.

The live jazz band for tonight’s opening was a last minute pull through. The lighting needed a soundtrack behind it and nothing else could have done it like live instrumentation filling the atmosphere with vivacious and somber medleys. It’s what separates the two expressions of nightlight we’re presenting this evening. Aside from my love, it serves as a secondary soother for the tension smoldering me.

An all too familiar medley drew my attention to Autumn and we instantly locked eyes with small smirks tugging at our lips. The mesh of Ellington’s piano and Coltrane’s tenor saxophone painted a vivid picture of us and though our mental imagery may not be of the same experiences we’ve had together thus far, I know that she too has us on her mind. We are the notes, tone, and mood. We are the key. We are the words the sultry Ella Fitzgerlad’s sang.

“Sir.” The hostess was careful not to step into my line of view but she came close enough for me to see her out of the corner of my eyes.

“Yes?”

“We’ve seated Mr. and Mrs. St. James. They’re requesting your presence at their table.” My exhale was through my nose. Though I’ve known about their decision to come, I still quietly held an optimism that they wouldn’t give enough of a damn to take a five hour flight to Los Angeles in order to further exasperate me more than they already do.  

“Thank you. Have a glass of Glenfiddich 1977 sent to Mr. St. James and a glass of  Richebourg Grand Cru from Cote de Nuit sent to his wife.” My request for some of the most expensive wine and scotch we have wasn’t for brownie points. Richard would have ordered it himself without ever skimming through the drink menu either way, so I chose to handle it on my own. My next move was to lure Autumn away from Stacey.

“Give me your jacket.” My eyebrows flew up at her request as she fiddled with the ends of her hair and eventually tossed them behind her.

“For what?”

“I can’t meet your parents in this. I didn’t even think of that. You made it seem it was a toss up whether they’d be here or not. I should’ve just worn the dress.” Her nerves were worse than mine and had I not already been unnerved by all of this, I would have laughed because that confidence and slick mouth disappeared. This is all her idea and she was so assured in wanting it to happen and now that the moment is here, she’s damn near sweating.

“What’s wrong with it? You’re grown. I’m grown. I like it. You look classy in it. There’s no need to cover it.”

“Give me your jacket.”

“No.”

“Dante.” Once I had her hand in mine, I laced our fingers. Though I took the lead, she closely followed behind instead of stubbornly standing in place and sparking a back and forth spat over something so ridiculous. The calling of my name didn’t cease until we were within inches of the table that held enough prestige to have two guests who I don’t even know standing and shamelessly fawning over the pompous egomaniac sitting along side his wife. The manner in which she ogled over him while he boasted about me nearly made me turn around.

“Excuse me. There’s my boy.” Surprisingly, he stood to his feet and stepped around the table for a proper greeting. I tower over him and even so, I could sense Autumn taking a step back in clear intimidation. His conniving glare panned in her direction and locked on her frame. He scrutinized her physical appearance with a number of head to toe glances and turned to me with a sly smirk.

“I would have beat his ass too.” His laughter was lone. I have a feeling he’d been waiting for this moment just for that joke. Their interest in her heightened when Matthew and I came to blows and he warned me that she better had been worth attacking my own flesh and blood over while my mother whined to meet her. Now as she swiftly moves to stand beside him, the cheerful smile on her faces proves that she’s satisfied.

“Hello.”

Autumn stepped up until she was standing along side me and reached her hand out for his own. With no hesitation, he latched his on to hers and brought her hand up to his lips for a kiss.

Strike one.

“Hello. I’m Autumn. It’s very nice to meet you Mr. St. James and you as well Mrs. St. James.” When her hand was no longer within his grip, she immediately reached over and shook my mother’s, who was staring at her as if she were a rare object or some sort of a mythical being.

“Oh, Autumn. It’s so nice to finally meet you. You’re stunning.”

“Thank you. A compliment from someone as beautiful as yourself means a lot. I see where you get your looks from.” Autumn turned and smiled at me. I had no choice but to forcefully smile back. I don’t see it. Though I’ve never met the man, photos show me that I share a close resemblance to her father.

“He does look a lot like his mother doesn’t he? He has her looks and my brain. A perfect mixture I’d say.”

“So would I.” Bullshit.

“So where did you two meet?” And the questions began. I thought that typically happens with teen relationships. Autumn’s parents didn’t even ask me that question. Then again, it’s probably because they already knew.

“Through work. I work for my older brother’s companies, Blue Star and Meridian. I’m currently a corporate flight attendant and we crossed paths in that manner.”

“Really? What an interesting way to meet.” Though I have no intention to verbally pounce on my mother tonight, if she dares to say anything condescending, I’m going to embarrass her. The manner in which Autumn and I met will never compare to her intrusion on someone else’s marriage for the sake of self gain.

“So you two didn’t know one another prior to your divorce with the NBA guy? My son didn’t woo you away from him right?”

Strike two.

“Oh, no. Not at all. We met prior to my divorce, but my ex-husband and I were separated for about two years before we divorced one another. He’d already moved on with his life romantically and even created a life before Dante and I met.” She didn’t flinch nor shrink at his shrewd questions. Her answers were just as swift and straight to the point as his blunt questions were.

“Why did you two divorce?”

“Does that matter?” I chimed in to end it all because there was no purpose for what he’d been asking. They could have divorced for the most trivial or pointless reasons and it wouldn’t matter within this moment. Is she asking why he left his first wife to die while he had an affair with the woman standing beside him?

“It’s okay. We divorced due to irreconcilable differences. He wasn’t happy anymore and he wanted out.”

“You two had no children.”

“By choice.” Her tone wasn’t as lighthearted as before. What he implied was far worse than him treading into a sensitive territory.

“Enough. This isn’t a background check.”

“It’s okay.” She gave my hand a squeeze of assurance. “They’re just questions.”

“Well you’re happy now right? That’s truly all that matters.” The genuine smiles between both women cut some of the enmity down between she and Richard. This time it was my mother who reached for her hand and gave it a maternal like caress.

“I am. Life is better and this guy certainly plays a part in that.” Her arm wrapped around my waist and she leaned into me to express that sentiment.

“That’s so nice to hear. I’ve always known that any woman who has my son in her life is a woman who should be considered lucky. He’s a gentlemen and upstanding guy. It’s why I continue to be so proud of him.” I didn’t mean to snicker but I did and it put a damper on everything. The smile on her face fell into the pursing of her lips and her once gleaming eyes turned solemn. She’s proud of what she doesn’t get credit for. How can I not laugh? Autumn knows enough to know that this isn’t a normal happy family moment. Every St. James who is standing in this small huddle knows this is nothing more than showmanship. She’s just taking it up way too many notches.

“I’m the lucky one.”

“Indeed you are, son.” Richard raised his glass of scotch and poured every bit of it down his throat. “Take a walk with me.”

“I’ll keep Autumn company while you do that. I’d love to know more about her.” Before I could protest, Autumn obliged her suggestion by taking a seat at the table and giving me a nod to walk away.

“Follow me.”

Whatever’s on his mind has to be about business and I know what it entails. He’s been pushing to acquire more Hollywood clientele and I’m not the man for the job. I passed off the Calvin Harris account as quickly as I could and I’d do it with every single one we acquire. I’m a negotiator and closer. I only deal with personalities for a specific time frame. Personal PR and marketing work is exactly that, up close and personal. I have no interest in obliging a person’s unpredictable requests while quietly being a victim to their personality traits. I don’t want to build celebrities. The entertainment industry is a silent murderer and I don’t want any parts of physically or mentally ruining anyone for the sake of self gain. That’s Matthew’s talent. Let him handle that.

“Your flight attendant? She knows and is apart of your every move now. You’re going to get tired of that and her. You do know that right?”

“What the fuck happened with Rick?” Autumn was nice enough to answer his questions. I’m not.

“Fuck Rick. He’s been bullshitting ever since I brought forth how much his son wasn’t bringing a damn thing to the table and yet was making a seven figure salary. He makes everything personal and who the fuck has time for that when you’re trying to run a damn near billion dollar enterprise? He’s been pissed ever since and had been talking about how he wanted out behind the scenes. I just helped him relieve his misery. I’m going to buy him out and that will be done with. We don’t fucking need him anyway.”

“He helped you build that company from the ground up.”

“And he was willing to bring it down.”

“How do you not expect a man to defend his son?”

“And what do you think I’m doing right now? I’m not worrying about anyone elses’ sons but my own. I’m protecting my family. I’m keeping a roof over the heads of my family. I’ll be damned if I allow another man to take the food off of the tables of my children and my wife. A&M is mine. I am solely responsible for the idea and the brand. He came in to help me execute what I’d already began to formulate. Don’t ever mistake our partnership for it being some shit that we brainstormed together. He was never mistaken about that, he just wanted it to be implied because that’s what white motherfuckers do. This country was built on white people standing on the backs of people who look like us and taking credit for our shit. That’s not going to happen me. That’s not going to happen to my sons.”

“And you think creating an enemy with someone who knows the ins and outs of the company is a good thing? That man was your friend. Hell, I call him uncle.”

“A wise man once said the man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.”

“Whoever said that must be as fucked up in the head as you are.” His laughter was boisterous and brazen. The smug expression on his face matched his stance.

“Congratulations on all of this son. It’s impressive. You haven’t allowed this to get in the way of what we’ve built. Keep that trend going when it comes to who you’re fucking around with in that bed of yours.” He stepped around me to return to their table but stopped briefly midway. “And send me another glass of that scotch.”

I got my drink, I got my music, I would share it but today I'm yelling…

Kendrick Lamar’s performance controlled the energy of the crowd and their response to him felt like we were inside of the Staples Center instead of surrounded by golden interior and floating bottles of champagne. Snoop Dog’s presence as the most overqualified hype man revved up the energy even more. I’d been in and out of the office since coming down here not only to look over paper work and the successes of the night, but mostly because I needed space to think. The need for it seemed to be mutual because Autumn hadn’t invaded mine and didn’t complain or send for me to invade hers. Instead, she sat at the bar and basked in the moment while every bit of the male energy in the room gravitated her way in some sort of manner. From the moment Richard walked away from me, I’d only exchanged goodbyes with them after covering their dinner and bidding my mother an empty promise of having brunch with her tomorrow at noon. Though she offered, she knows I won’t show up. It’s simply a call for a healing and maybe one day it’ll happen, but it’s not tonight or tomorrow. It’ll happen when she’s ready because though I’m not a perfect man and I have my shortcomings, the strain in our relationship is her sin.

“Tired?” My lips grazed the warmth of her ear and I looked on as she watched who she considers to be one of her favorite artists of this generation.

“No.”

“I want you to take a ride with me when the night is over.”

“I can do that.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Since when do you ask?” She turned her head and sweetly pressed her lips onto mine; the lingering on my bottom lip enticed a tightening in the pit of my stomach.

As we leaned against one another, we looked on as our special guests of the evening musically tore the place down. Eventually, what we deemed to be our L.A. Crew joined us at the bar, and we looked on with cocktails of our choice in hand. We’d done enough for the evening. All that had been left to do was enjoy the fruits of our labor and we did so, until our three a.m. closing time.

“Where are you taking me that has had us in this backseat for an hour? And then what are these hills? I do like to run, but I’m not a hiking kind of a girl, especially not in heels.” Our cuddling and lip locking session had come to an end when she sat up and looked out the window in an attempt to figure out our surroundings.

“Also we don't have to make out in a car. We have an amazing suite we can do that in…while naked.” She didn't join me in laughter. Instead she cut her eyes and awaited an explanation.

“You’ll see in about two minutes.” Her stubborn huff furthered the amusement and my caressing of her thigh did nothing to soothe that. It wasn’t until the driver brought the vehicle to a halt that she relaxed and once again turned to me to await an explanation.

“There’s water down there. Is this Malibu?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t wait for the driver to open my door. I did it myself and hopped out of the backseat with an impatient Autumn coming right behind me. She turned in a complete circle to give herself an panoramic view of the entire property. Her gesture reminded me of myself the first time I stood out here in the midst of nothing other than the view. I gazed at the sea for over an hour as daydreams of a future here washed over me one after the other. I envisioned my home and every single intricacy about it. It differed from my original design and yet surpassed it in beauty. Whenever I’m in L.A, I take a ride here and render myself to speechlessness in knowing that it now exists.

“This is the house.”

“Yes.”

She didn’t move. She stared and marveled at it’s Mediterranean style while two hundred and seventy degree views of rolling hills and ocean surrounded it. Though my apartment is very modern, I opted for a vintage style of design here because I wanted it to give the illusion of being timeless and lived in. It needed to be a place that aged with me rather than something that’ll make me feel like I’m going through a midlife crisis within the next ten to fifteen years. The pavers, French oak floors, and mahogany doors were all personally picked out by me and it was a lengthy process in finding exactly what I wanted. Though Stacey and I argued on it being three, it’s a two story home because I don’t want or need anything more than that. I didn’t want a mansion and I don’t consider this to be that despite the six bedrooms and eight bathrooms.

It’s just home.

“This is breathtaking.”

“You want to go inside?”

“We can?”

“Well, it is my house.” My sarcastic response earned a light punch to my shoulder. I had to keep up with her as she swiftly made her way to the door and awaited my next move. As I unlocked it, she awaited my invitation for her entry and I was left to turn on the lights as she quietly examined every hall and the rooms that led off from them. She had no questions for me or criticisms about my choice of interior design. Everything was a polar opposite from New York. The blackened interior of my apartment was a reflection of the city’s nightlife and the vibrancy here balanced out with the ocean and true blue skies.

“Is every part of the house fully furnished?”

“No, not yet. There are two or three rooms left behind that need to be done. There’s also an office that has to be done.”

“How many rooms?”

“Six bedrooms and eight bathrooms. Ten thousand, one hundred, and thirty five square feet.”

“Wow.”

“Come through here.” We returned to the grand foyer and walked straight through the main sitting room. I opened one of the doors and her gasp nearly startled me as we stepped out on the trellised patio and into the illuminated back of the house. The nearly two acres of impeccably landscaped grounds contains the pool, a lighted basketball court, a tennis court that I’m never going to use and will probably turn into something else, and multiple sitting areas for entertainment purposes. There’s enough room back here for a barbecue or a huge family gathering. It’s perfect for birthday parties and whatever else can possibly be celebrated. Whenever Mike and Fredrick come out to visit, I know we’ll spend most of our time out here with cognac, good music, and card games at night and rounds of basketball during the day. Stacey and all of her diva antics will lay pool side and relax while I enjoy time with my God daughter.

“This place is a dream.”

“That’s a perfect one word description.”

The lighting from the pool and the glimmering stars faintly illuminated the white covering her body as she walked across the yard and eventually stopped to glance at the horizon. She became lost in the rhythmic percussion of the light waves as they rolled toward the sandy coastline and fizzled out.

“I can see why this is home for you.” She didn’t break her gaze away from what would soon be irradiated with orange hued rays of the sunrise. “This is the place where you’re most at peace.”

“It is.” My head nodded with the response. “I plan to be here permanently in a year.”

“A year? What happened to two or three?”

“In looking at it, I’ve realize how much that’s just wasted and stalled time. I’m ready. It’s what I need to be a peace with myself more than anything else.”

“I’m glad you realize that. You need to put what you want and deserve first, at all times. You work too hard and give too much to not do that. I’m sure things will be different because everyone you love is on the east coast, but that’s what planes are for right?”

“They’re coming.”

“What?” It was then that she turned her head and gave me her full attention.

“Skidmore, Owings, & Merrill LLP is a global firm. Fredrick can be wherever he pleases. Mike passed the bar exam out here years ago. He’s also considering not having any ties to a particular firm. He’s seeking his own practice and he has enough clientele to pull that off without sweating.”

“And Stacey?

“When I began building this place, she threatened that I wouldn’t be leaving her behind. I know her husband wouldn’t jump for joy at the thought of her wanting to move out here just to continue working with me and I’m okay with that. She has a family and I’d never ask her to sacrifice that for me, though I believe somehow someway she’s going to find her way here.” My chuckle was lighthearted and yet gloomy. I can’t imagine walking out of my office and not having her there to insult or scold me about something. It feels like she’s been around all my life even though that’s not the case.

“It’ll be hard for you to leave her behind.”

“I’m not leaving her behind. That’s my sister. Distance doesn’t stop us from being family.”

“True.”

Her gaze returned to the water.

“What about me?” That’s a question that I didn’t expect her to ask and it’s not because I’m afraid to answer it. She should already know the answer.

“I’d like to think you know me well enough to know that I didn’t bring you here to just show this to you. I could have shown you pictures a long time ago.”

“I know.”

“I know you’re not going to allow me to put a diamond on your finger right now but I want you to know that I want you here. I want to share this with you.”

“And what am I going to share with you? You’ve already shared so much with me.”

“Everything that you share with me now. More will come later.”

The shadows of the sun began to bleed through and filter out the deep blue of the skyline. A gust of air washed over me and the warmth of Autumn’s body meshing into my own interrupted it’s coolness. Her lips pressed into my neck and trickled their way from the back to it’s chill coated side.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”  

[abdicatedarchive]

breaking the seal || cody and skylar

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: skylar’s dorm room // spring 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: cody x skylar.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: sex referenced. 

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: after two months of fake dating bella, cody finally breaks and texts skylar bass.

Cody would never run to a girls room, but he did clean up and .... most definitely picked up the pace to get to Skylar's room. He had been very good while fake dating Bella. For a while there he was really nervous about being caught and didn't want to be outed for cheating on her, so he had ghosted all of his usual hook ups. But it was late and Skylar's instagram was somehow even more sexy than usual. He knew it was self centered, but sometimes it felt like she was posting just to get a rise out of him. See how many posts it would take for him to hit her up. Two months in and he was definitely not having sex with Bella. The idea physically repulsed him. Cody passed someone in the hallway when he was on the way to Skylar's room and had to double back once the hallway was clear. He knocked on her door and leaned into the door frame while he waited for her to answer, when she did, he flashed that smile of his. "I'm here to make good on my promise" he said, smirk forming on his face. Fuck. She looked so good, it was becoming a huge regret that he got into this relationship. His parents being off his back was amazing, but Skylar was a force. Heads turned when she walked into a room and he gave up sleeping with her for what? Kinder parents, an easier life, and less questions? In this moment it did not seem like it was worth it whatsoever.

skylar never got hung up on hook ups. people came and they went, it was how it always had been in her life. but with cody she had been hooking up on the regular since almost the first few weeks she had come to brindleton. no matter who else she was fooling around with, somehow she'd always end up in his bed. and it's not that she liked him, she most definitely didn't but there was this pull she felt every single time they were in the same room. one look was enough and she was picturing herself against the wall with his body pressed into hers. fuck that. she had been living her life, partying, doing her best on the cheer team...and he'd see every instagram story, like every post of hers on the 'gram or every video on tiktok. it's like he was there but at the same time he wasn't. so the photos she posted got more provocative, the 'close friends' stories were damn near giving her followers a heart attack - yet he still didn't text her. and god forbid skylar texts him first. never. they didn't get along, they always bickered, there was this 'i have to be on top' mentality in both of them. so how did two people who fought constantly had such amazing sex? the fact alone was baffling to skylar. when her phone buzzed, she had just come back from a party. the brunette had taken a shower, a set of pink lace lingerie on her body. the alcohol in her system was almost too much for her to read the message. "c.m: wyd?" two months. he hadn't contacted her in two months and it was driving her insane. she hated him. she absolutely loathed him. who did he think he was? fuck cody summers! no, no...really - FUCK cody summers. but somehow it again ended up with her telling him to come to her room. and so in a few minutes she heard a knock. she got up, lazily wrapping a black satin robe around herself. without a second thought she opened the door, not sure who she hated more - him for being a dick or herself for being so weak. she glanced up, cody obviously being way taller than her. fuck, he looked too good. "mmm, on second thought...i am a bit tired..." sky trailed off, batting her lashes at him as she allowed her tongue to dart out, licking her bottom lip. "your services are no longer needed."

Giving up regular hookups with Skylar was not for the faint of heart. That was something he was certain of now. Of all the girls, she was the one he wanted to be with the most frequently. His parents would kill him if he showed up to family events with her though. Yes she was beautiful, but she was not exactly what they were looking for in terms of family functions. On a personal level they were not compatible at all, but that physical connection really out weighed all the cons of the two of them doing anything. They bickered too much, fighting just for the hell of it because they tension would get so hot. Breaking after over two months of silence was a hit to his ego, but he knew that he was going to feel so good to be with her. The fact that he hadn't been with anyone these last two months probably attributed to why he was so rude to Bella. Cody needed a release, and he was ready to fall right into Skylar's bed. He knew he would have to take a minute to wear her down, but she had caved even faster than he thought. He was willing to work for at least 24 hours to get with her. Maybe even more. Depends on how many tiktoks or instagrams she posted. He had been out with friends celebrating the end of exams, which is usually when he found himself looking at her profile. Today was more challenging than ever, hence the texts. She looked so good when she opened the door. The room smelling exactly like her perfume. It brought him back to all the nights he had spent here, she was honestly like a drug. He couldn't get enough. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "They might not be needed, but you know you want them anyway" he said, getting nervous about how much time he was spending in the hallway. He stepped into her room, putting his hand on her waist to get passed. "And I'm already here, you know you sleep better after" he teased as he got up in her physical space.

even if skylar came from a rather wealthy family, she knew she wasn't giving that vibe off exactly. she was wearing too little, leaving nothing to the imagination. she was like a very slutty blair waldorf from gossip girl. and of course, it all had a reason behind it. she hadn't always been like that. it was one of her ways to get her mother's attention, to fill the void within her for not having an idea who her father was, for trying to escape her real self because it hurt too much. but with cody? with cody she felt most like herself. she felt as if she could be as soft or as hard as she wanted, she felt as if he wouldn't turn her away even at her lowest. she still remembered how wasted she got one night, calling him all kinds of names, throwing things at him, saying he meant nothing to her - only for them to spend the whole weekend locked in his room, giving the term 'unholy' a new definition. but even with cody, where she felt herself, she still couldn't show the real skylar bass. the skylar bass that would leave everyone in awe not because of her looks or her edgy behaviour but because of the universe that was behind her green eyes. the beauty of her mind. she couldn't open herself and she hadn't tried to. they were only hooking up. love was for children and it wasn't in the menu for skylar. with anyone. but she was more than surprised by herself when she gave in that quickly. was it just to fuck with him? was it just to make him come all the way to her room, just so she could slam the door in his face? or was it because she knew that there was no one else that could fuck her like he did? sky glanced away for a second as she felt his fingers touching her hair, emerald hues focused back on him and him only a moment after. he stepped inside but she extended her hand, placing it on his chest and pushing him back into the hallway. they were both in each other's personal space, the brunette needing to take a step towards him. she dug her long stiletto nails into him through his shirt, tilting her head slightly to the right. "tell me exactly how much you missed me...and then get down on your knees and make me come. right here. right now. in the open." she honestly didn't care if someone would walk by and it was after 3am, so the possibility of anyone coming was slim to none. however, she also wanted to see how much he wanted her exactly.

Being blocked from entering her room was not his expectation, but then again he did not talk to her for a few months. Work was expected, but he wanted into her room. To be in a familiar space, to exist for a few hours where he wasn't Bella Langstons boyfriend. God that would be a sweet moment of freedom. He was also most definitely not going to risk going down on her in the hallway, yes the risk was small but it was too big of a risk with him having a girlfriend. It was all the rush of cheating even though it wasn't. Bella had given him permission, but not permission to be caught. The opposite of permission to get caught, actually. He was lucky that he had this freedom to begin with. Cody ran his hands under her thighs and picked her up, pushing her up against the wall. "I would, but I feel like you screaming out my name would alert the RAs" he whispered quietly into her ear, "and we both know I don't like it when you keep quiet". Cody was going to get them into that room before anything happened. But he also didn't know if he was physically capable of saying a complete no to her at this point. He was too close, and she smelled so good. Not to mention she always looked so good, even when she wasn't trying. The alcohol in his system was not helping. Cody moved his lips to her earlobe and started sucking on it softly.  "Last call on the room" he said, pressing up against her harder so she could feel him. 

sky's legs wrapped around his waist almost immediately, the familiarity of his touch and scent sending shivers down her spine. every nerve in her body was on fire and they hadn't even began yet. slender fingers somehow found their way to his hair as she tugged on it quite harshly, pressing her lips together. her robe coming undone by itself as black silk slipped half-way down her body, revealing her pink lace bra. they were in the middle of the hallway, sky's lips lightly pressing against his cheek and trailing down to his jawline as she pushed on his hair again. harder. rougher. "mmm, is that so? worried everyone will find out that you are misbehaving? little b wouldn't be happy, now would she?" one hand slid between them, as she cupped his hard-on through his jeans, giggling in his ear. "what if i want you to fuck me here? slid inside me for everyone to see and hear?"  but then she felt him sucking on her earlobe and everything else was a lost cause. the world around them was a lost cause for it be damned. she needed his lips, his hands on her body, his skin on hers...fuck, she had missed him more than she'd like to admit. "tell me how much you missed me...BEG ME...and then MAYBE i'll let you in. your call, summers."

Her fingers in his hair was absolutely sending him. Every touch he had shared with Bella had been soft and weirdly intimate, nothing like this. This was just passion and aggression. Her talking about Bella gave him a mild amount of guilt, but only about the fear of being caught. Cody Summers did not want to think about Bella Langston right now. When she said he had to beg, he was already a weak man. Her hands on him were sending him to another level. He had already withheld a moan when she cupped him through his jeans. Cody needed her. He knew he was going to regret falling on this sword later, but right now it was definitely worth it. "Fuck, you know I need you. I missed you so much, I have no idea how I held out this long. You're the only one who makes me feel good" he coaxed, almost whining, "let me show you a good time sky". He pressed up against her harder, "I need you, I think about you all the time. I get hard just looking at a picture of you"

sky looked into his eyes, taking in every word of his just like the gods would take ambrosia. it was an addiction of some sorts. to hear it, to feel it, to KNOW that he had been struggling with it just as much as she had. she continued her hand movements, feeling him more and more as he grew even harder beneath her touch. the junior student needed to clear her head. she was definitely thinking anything BUT straight. she was lost in this limbo of what she knew she had to do and what she wanted to. she knew she had to kick him out, to laugh in his face and tell him she was way TOO good for him. to wish him a very boring and very stiff times with his little girlfriend. but the CRAVING she had for cody was far too much for her to handle. especially, given the alcohol running through her veins. she was getting dizzy, her mind was in a haze and... without thinking much about it, she cupped his face, brushing her lips against his. but not, she wouldn't kiss him. not yet. instead her tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip ever so lightly, teeth dragging against it and then biting hard onto it. "make me feel good...please..." she moaned, her breath hot and smelling like lemon and vanilla from all the margaritas and sweets she had had tonight.

The taunting of her running her tongue against his lips along with the way her hand was moving, it was enough to kill him. Once she gave him permission, he took her into her room and put her down on the bed. -fade to black- Once they were all done for the night, he curled up around her and nuzzled into her neck. This was also something he missed, was a little bit of intimacy. Cody knew he had to leave in the dark of the night, but a moment or so like this was good for him. His first and only girlfriend had never let him do anything like this, it made him feel worthless. That was part of the appeal of Skylar, there were moments sometimes. "I should probably head out" he said quietly as he held onto her.

skylar giggled quietly as she felt him wrap himself around her. she needed intimacy just much as she needed the physical aspect. maybe even more. the thing is, skylar had never had an actual boyfriend. she had never had anyone to hold her through the night, no one to make her feel like she mattered. she had to do it herself. to build this persona up, to make it SO everybody knew. "you should most likely do that." she said, turning slightly on one side, as she allowed her fingers to brush down his cheek. sometimes in moments like this, part of her wanted him to stay. to hold her tight. to...to maybe see him in the morning. she leant in, pressing a soft kiss on his lips, moving her own lips slowly against his.

Cody knew it was dangerous to even be doing this. It wasn't like he was going to catch feelings, but if he stayed too long he would be too comfortable and someone might see him walking back to his room later. That couldn't be risked. Cody kissed her back, and he wanted to stay. Kissing Bella one time was nothing on this. "You'll be hearing from me before you know it" said Cody with a wink as he went to get dressed. "You can text me anytime" he encouraged, "I know I'll be looking at those photos later" he said as he headed towards the door. He came back and gave her another long kiss before heading back to his dorm. God, that was some of the best sex they had ever had. Maybe it's because it had been so long. But, it was so good. He would definitely be hitting her up again. Especially if she was down to be his secret.

[allronix]

Salty asks: 1-27.

Assuming this is the fandom of your namesake. 

1. OTP that I just don’t get. Probably Sam/Tron. Not to say some folks can’t REALLY fucking rock it (see the “We Are Pilots” verse), but it takes a lot of work. Their only meeting in canon was in a duel to the death with the Program being brainwashed and crazy, and Sam has very little if any reason to even like the guy, even in a post-Legacy setup. 

2, Fandom OTP I only BroTP:  Probably Tron/Ram. Ram had too much chemistry with Flynn, and Tron was single-minded enough about Yori to put his deity on hold. While I can very easily see group marriage as a normal part of Program society, it’s not something I can see in canonical circumstances. 

3. Unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? Nope. But if they trash my faves, I hope they can back up their dislike with a very good argument. 

4.  A NoTP for my fandom. Not touching Sam/Alan with a 10-meter Rod Primitive. The age gap for one, the paternal role Alan took for two, the fact Lora is not dead in this timeline third, the fourth is the possibility of OT3: Shall We Dance making this ship even more brain-breaking.

5. Has fandom ruined a pairing for me? Not in this fandom, but I’ve avoided the hell out of some shows because I saw the fandom for them was such a big ball of crazy that I wanted to avoid it like kryptonite. 

6. Has fandom made me enjoy a pairing I previously hated? I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, and I’m not sure I’d call it “enjoy,” but there are some Clu/”Rinzler” fics that almost make the whole thing come out as something marginally less squicky and more interesting than “sadist and his sex slave.” 

7. Anything I used to like but dislike now? Y’know, I kinda used to dig Flynn/Alan slash. But after I realized I could make a drinking game out of them (take a shot if they mention Lora, chug the whole thing if they mention Jordan - stay sober the whole night), they lost a lot of appeal. I’ll make an exception for “Shall We Dance” scenarios. Heck, I love Shall We Dance because it’s a very different matter if Lora’s aware and on board with the whole thing. Heck, if someone upgrades it to an Ot4 of “Shall We Dance With Jordan,” then I owe them a six-pack of top-quality beer or cane-sugar soda and my enthusiastic gratitude. 

8. Anon hate? Yes. Received it. But over politics, not fandom. It’s to be expected. The Galaxy Rangers list used to have “don’t talk to Allronix about politics” as one of the bylaws. 

9. Most hated character? Probably Pavel. He’s such a transparent slimeball with little in the way of interesting motivation. Tesler? While he’s a nasty piece of work, there’s wiggle room to argue that he’s doing what he’s doing for the good of the system and doesn’t like doing what he does. Sark? Incredible ham and definitely one note, but David Warner plays the best creeps ever.  (He out-creeped Malcolm McDowell, that’s near-impossible) 

10. Most disliked arc. Probably the Isos. I’m still not sure what they were, or why they were special or what was so great about them, or how they would change everything, aside from the implication they were partly biological. Which is great and all, but the way it was handled has an “organics rule, synthethics drool” vibe that is pretty insulting when everything else in the franchise shows that the Programs are just as capable of love, hate, morality, humor, and free will as the humans who built them. 

11. Unpopular character I like that the fandom doesn’t? I just had to have the bad luck…or the good luck…to latch on very hard to the Tron 2.0 characters. Good luck in that it’s unexplored territory. Bad luck in that I seem to be the only one who writes Mercury, or Crown, or I-No. 

12. Unpopular arc I like the fandom doesn’t? 2.0 again. What got me about it is that the 1982 and Legacy films dealt with malevolent AI who were cruel of other AI and wanted to extend the cruelty. 2.0 inverted it; the uncorrupted Programs were, with very few exceptions, wanting to protect themselves and their home. The corrupted Programs were driven insane by a User who embraced the worst parts of the role. And then you had F-Con who planned to crank that up even more so that they could rule both worlds from the shadows. It really needed to be explored more, as it was a great start. 

13. Unpopular opinion about a character: Sam Flynn kinda spooks me. He has no reason to be merciful or benevolent to Programs. As far as he saw, his dad believed in them, and they stabbed his dad in the back, kept his dad away from him, tried to kill him, tried to kill Quorra, killed all of Quorra’s people, and eventually killed his dad right in front of him. And he’s taking over command of a software company with barely any time to process that trauma.  It’s probably not going to end well for the Programs unless something intervenes.

14. Unpopular opinion about the fandom: They have very little interest in reclaiming the female characters from the margins, and that’s quite frustrating. Quorra and Paige get some fics here and there, but even those petered out. Yes, this fandom is VERY heavily skewed male, but you’ve got Quorra, Paige, Mara, Gorn, Lux, Yori, Lora, Gem, etc. in Legacy canon, and some great potential with Mercury, Ma3a, and Eva Popoff if you import from 2.0. I was hoping to see at least SOMEONE write up a fanfic about Jordan. What kind of woman could handle a brilliant, cheerful, crazy ball of energy like 80′s!Flynn?  

15. Unpopular opinion about the canon: Legacy is very difficult for me to watch. Even though it totally brought the whole thing back from the dead, it’s just frustrating to watch. Not to say everyone didn’t bring their A-game to it, but it took everything that made the first film so much fun and destroyed it, ending up as a depressing waste where everyone loses, and Dillinger Jr is just waiting in the wings to cause even more trouble. 

16. If I could change anything about the canon, what to change? Tron 2.0 totally happened. It would not be hard to come up with a workaround for Ma3a that keeps Lora alive. There’s probably about three or four ways I could come up with other than the made of crack one I’ve got going in my fics. 

17. Instead of X happening, I’d go with Y: If you want something other than “instead of 2.0 being thrown out the airlock, it’s part of canon,” I would have loved to see Sam get rescued by Bartik’s crew (Bonus points if Yori’s running the damn thing) and then meet up with his dad and Quorra. That way, there could have been a little more complexity to the Grid situation and a way to avoid the whole “Programs are evil!” thing Legacy ended up with.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased? Shipping, IMO is shorthand for schools of character interpretation. Someone who ships Quorra/Sam is going to have a different take than someone who ships Quorra/Zues, or Quorra/Paige. They’re all looking at the same data, but the interpretation of the data is going to vary.   

19. One thing I dislike most about my fandom: It’s a back alley of the 80′s that its own company barely wants to admit they did. This makes canon and newcomers a little hard to come by.

20. Purest ship in the fandom. Tron/Yori was my first OTP. They’re still my OTP, because 82!Tron was such a sweet, earnest dork and Yori was such an adorable, sneaky badass. Post-Legacy? It’s going to be one heck of a climb no matter which guess you take about Yori’s fate (And seriously? Morgan got gypped), but having those two limp off into whatever digital sunset there is would be the closest we get to a happy ending that’s canon-compatible.

21. Crack ships? A crack ship for the sake of a crack ship is a “no thanks!” But there are ships that look like someone did them on a three-drink dare that actually manage to work. I’m thinking to KOTOR fandom where someone made a REALLY awesome case for Canderous/Bastila that should not have worked and totally did. 

22. Popular character I dislike: It’s not so much “dislike” as “I’m not sure what to make of them.” Really wanted some development on Sam. Quorra got Evolution and a nice episode of Uprising, but Sam…he’s still a bit of a blank to me. 

23. Unpopular character I adore:  I especially latched on hard to Jet Bradley after reading the Ghost in the Machine comic because he had clearly done a lot of thinking about what being a User means in that setting, and was bringing up points no one else bothered with. As such, he makes an excellent foil and walking deconstruction fleet while still being, ostensibly, one of the good guys. 

24. Would I recommend Tron to a friend? Only with a ton of disclaimers. This was made in the EARLY 80′s, by people who apparently had no fucking idea what they were doing, and Disney probably signed off on it while under the influence of something. But the combination ends up as something inexplicably brilliant and probably launched thousands of computer animation careers and hundreds more IT careers. 

25.   How would I end it? I’ve got fics in mind for it. I kitbash 2.0 and Legacy shamelessly. The ending I have in mind? Well, Alan and Lora end up giving up their lives in analog to rebuild the Rome Flynn started. Jet ends up dedicating his life to serving the Programs and goes a bit native. Mercury and Tron act as the primary “knights” of Alan and Lora. Sam and Quorra handle much of the rest in the analog world, slowly trying to open up the world and make it ready for the revelation of the digital one. And Yori runs a reformation of the Program religion so that they are prepared to accept the Users as fallible beings who are still powerful, but less “worship as deity” and more “we depend on one another - don’t screw it up.” 

26. Most shippable character? Probably Flynn. I can see him as a fellow who would (prior to the coup) enjoy himself and his opportunities to the fullest, including trying anything twice sexually. 

27. Least shippable character: Probably Esomond Baza. He’s a coward with so little self-esteem, self-respect, or a moral compass that he needs a few months of therapy before even thinking of a date. 

[the-bounce-back]

“F*CK A FAKE FRIEND, WHERE YOUR REAL FRIENDS AT?” - 4 WAYS TO EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

So… These past few weeks have been a bit (a lot) of a rollercoaster.

As you know from my previous post, I haven’t been doing very well lately on the mental health front lately, and I definitely needed to take a step back from blogging - just to place my focus on sorting myself out and getting back on track again. I do feel a bit better now - the way I was feeling in terms of getting bad news has kind of worn off, I’ve let myself process things emotionally, and things have been going well at work despite everything. Things are feeling a bit more positive and I’m starting to feel like myself again, little by little.

The most important aspect of these tough few weeks, though, has been something that’s been on my list of things to write about since I started this blog - friendships. Namely, how imperative it is to ensure that the people you associate and surround yourself with have your best interests at heart, genuinely f*ck with you and want to see you win, that you know without a shadow of doubt will be there for you when times are rough, will g-check you when you’re moving mad and that will defend you when you’re not there to speak for yourself.

It’s actually a bit funny, because before this little slump I was actually going to do a post about this, but I was struggling with how I was going to go about writing this post and still keep it positive. I feel like the past year or so has left me with a lot of examples of how to not treat people you swear are your friends, and I was trying to think of ways to keep it upbeat and not… well… a petty post full of scathing and unconstructive indirects. In that sense, this slump came at a great time because now I genuinely have positive examples from my actual friends that actually care about me to draw upon. I also get to write this post as a follow-up to my previous post, which means I can put another snazzy Drake lyric as the post title. Happy days.

With that being said, the purpose of this post is to evaluate and discuss the characteristics of a genuine friendship (by my standards, that is), how to deal with fake friends, and - in true Bounce Back spirit - evaluate myself as a friend and be honest with myself about what I need to improve upon to be able to be the support system the people in my life deserve.

Consider whether you’re even compatible as friends.

This is a bit of a funny one, because it really does seem like a no-brainer. But I think there are so many aspects to compatibility as friends besides the obvious liking each others vIbE and sharing the same sense of humour.

Firstly, compatible friendship styles are extremely crucial for a friendship to work. By this, I’m referring to how “hands-on” or “hands-off” the friendship is. For example, some people like to be in constant contact with their friends over texts, calls, FaceTime, social media and then linking up every week on top of that. Meanwhile, some people are content with a monthly check in and waiting to have a big catch up when they finally have time to link up in person.

There really isn’t any “right” or “wrong” style of friendship, as I see it. The hard part is identifying and making friends with people that are the same as you, so no one ends up getting frustrated with the overload/lack of effort. Personally, I have been a very hands-off friend since I was young. I’ve never really liked constant texting and hanging out, because it rarely leaves you with anything of substance to talk about if you’re constantly in touch. I’ve always had this understanding that people - including myself - need time to themselves and sometimes are too busy to talk, so I generally try to check in with my friends every now and again or even leave them alone until we finally can meet up and have a fat catch up.

Some may see it as antisocial and me being a lazy friend, and some may see it as extreme interpersonal awareness and maturity beyond my years. I’m inclined to go with the latter.

All jokes aside, I know that this approach to friendships isn’t the best one to have - especially while growing up. I’m painfully aware that I’ve probably lost out on a lot of good friendships, and I used to feel really bad when I’d get scathing messages about not being a good friend because I “never reach out” - which at that time meant that we hadn’t spoken in two days. Shock horror.

However, as I approach my mid-20s, I definitely think that having this friendship style works for me now. My friends have their own lives, jobs, relationships, responsibilities and kids (!) to focus on, so now there’s more of an understanding as to why talking every single day isn’t optimal. Hell, I even live with one of my closest friends and we sometimes don’t speak for days because we understand and respect that space and time alone is needed at times. With that being said, I sometimes make the mistake in assuming that friends I haven’t spoken to in a while ~magically~ know that I would drop everything for them in a heartbeat if they needed me - definitely something I need to reiterate to them more often.

Another important aspect of compatibility is considering how and why you became friends in the first place - as in, what’s the common denominator between you? Also, would the friendship even still be there if this common denominator is removed?

Personally, I found that a lot of friendships that I formed in my teens and early 20’s in relation to sports, college, uni and work were almost entirely reliant on that common denominator. All conversations, banter and the occasional whine and moan would be surrounding this common denominator, too. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, as long as you are clear on what it is and don’t expect things to get much deeper than that - unless you’re willing to make the effort to make it so. However, I’ve found that sometimes it’s better to just leave it at what it is - especially with friends you met in school as a kid/teen.

I say this because when I moved back to UK from Sweden for uni, I had a few friends that I genuinely considered my closest friends. For the first few months after I moved, we were skyping pretty much every day and keeping in touch on every single aspect of our lives. They even flew over to visit me a few times, and whenever I’d go home to Sweden we’d meet up for drinks and a catch up or whatever. However, as time went on and we grew up, it soon became clear that we literally have nothing in common anymore outside of us going to school together. It was quite sad when I first realised that we had grown apart, but now I can confidently say that once you understand that growing apart doesn’t necessarily mean the loss of a relationship or invalidation of the good times and memories, you won’t feel as bad about focusing your energy on people that are more relevant to your current life situation. Furthermore, it definitely doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to them - they just aren’t the first person you reach out to anymore.

To summarise, friendship compatibility is a very important thing to consider. No one likes feeling like a burden for reaching out/like a piece of sh*t for replying slowly, and no one likes the feeling of trying to force a friendship when there simply isn’t much substance there anymore. This kind of stress really used to mess with my anxiety, so take the time to make sure your efforts - or lack thereof - are matched.

Pay close attention to how conflicts and arguments are resolved (if at all).

Let me start by making it very clear that wanting to clart your friends in the jaw at times doesn’t mean that you aren’t good friends.

At the end of the day, we’re all very different people with opposing opinions, values and ideas. That’s what makes relationships interesting and blah blah blah. You’ve probably heard that before. The most important thing here is respecting each others views and striving to have a calm, collected and civilised conversation, and being able to accept that not everyone will agree with you.

It really is that simple, but for some reason people love to make it unnecessarily complicated for no f*cking reason whatsoever.

As someone that genuinely enjoys a healthy debate/argument and learning to see things from different perspectives, it honestly perplexes me when “friends” deliberately commit themselves to misunderstanding, twisting and disrespecting points that they don’t agree with. I really don’t get what someone would gain from blowing an argument or disagreement out of proportion… but to each their own, I guess. Maybe they’re just bored and want to stir sh*t for no reason.

Anyway, no point in speculating because I’ve done enough of that already, and to be honest I’m tired of it because trying to figure people out is such a task. I’ve tried so many different approaches for conflict resolution - like direct confrontation, physical/verbal altercations (when I was younger and a lot more hot-headed), blatantly ignoring the instigator and vehemently apologising for offending them to avoid further arguing - and I’m telling you now that nothing has brought me as much peace of mind as this:

Just drop it.

Seriously. Just say “Ok” and move on with your life.

The reason why this brings me so much peace of mind is because I’ve let go of the notion that there has to be a “winner” and a “loser” in an argument or other kind of conflict - because what do you actually gain from shutting the other person up besides momentary smugness and that person liking you less than they (probably) already do?

Furthermore, it’s not even about RiSiNg AbOvE the conflict, trying to come across as more mature, trying to diminish the person's argument by not giving it attention or anything like that. It’s genuinely not even about anything more than just saving your energy for things that actually matter. Having the last word, petty remarks and shade really is extremely unnecessary and doesn’t resolve anything - so I just stopped doing it.

So - what does this mean in relation to friendships and conflict resolution?

Adopting this approach to conflicts has actually made it painfully clear to me who are my real friends and who aren’t. I could go into excruciating detail about situations I’ve been in with friends in the past year to illustrate my point, but there’s really no need to even bring it back up and dwell on it because I have moved on. I’ll keep it very brief:

Real friends will respect that you don’t want to give the situation more energy, and understand that there is no such thing as “keeping score” of who “won” what argument in a friendship. Even when conflicts/arguments arise, they won’t let the disagreement spoil the connection you already have, because they know that the connection is based on mutual respect and an actual desire to be in eachothers lives. They know that a conflict isn’t the end of a friendship, nor a reason to talk sh*t about you behind your back. They actually want to nip disagreements in the bud and move past unnecessary drama.

Fake friends, on the other hand, seemingly live to have an issue with you. They’ll either be upfront about it and make you feel like sh*t about yourself for no reason whatsoever, or - even worse - will pretend that everything is gucci between you while secretly b*tching about how much of an issue there is between you to anyone who can be bothered to listen to their bitter asses. I really can’t believe that I spent so much time worrying about what these kind of people used to think of me and being manipulated into trying to change myself to be a bEtTeR fRiEnD, when really and truly they’re the ones with a problem that they’re too p*ssy to address in person. The bottom line is that people that treat you like this don’t even like you - for whatever reason.

Maybe they’re jealous. Maybe they see you as a threat. Maybe they see what you are doing for yourself and are pissed off because they don’t have the capacity to do it for themselves. God knows.

Either way, I’ve come to the conclusion that making an effort to resolve conflict with people that get a kick from causing stress and having someone to talk sh*t about really is pointless, and way too tiring to even think about anymore. Not allowing these people the luxury of wasting my time and draining my energy has worked wonders for my mental health… and may or may not have cleared up my skin. I’m not sure.

Anyways - that’s the tea on that. Love me a good chamomile.

Of course, there are exceptions to my real vs. fake friend theory - it all really depends on what you value and expect from a friendship. Personally, I find loyalty, honesty, positive energy and support the most important things from the people I associate myself with, and if I realise that I’m not getting this from someone… I just leave them alone. What’s the point of exerting myself  over people that lowkey hate my guts?

I want to end this part by making clear that we’ve probably all been that fake and toxic friend at some point to someone in our lives. If it was in the past, that’s fine - hopefully you’ve matured and grown away from it. If you can g-check yourself and admit that there are people in your life that you treat like trash, then a) well done for being honest, and b) take time to think why treating someone badly makes you feel better from yourself, and consider what you can do to make your own life better so you don’t have to put other people down.

Always pay attention to their energy towards you.

I definitely think that this is the most important one for me right now. There’s been an extreme mix of good news and bad news in my life right now, and as someone who usually keeps stuff to myself I’ve really tried to be more open and tried to share what’s going on with me to my friends. I’ve definitely made some interesting observations in this process, which I will try to outline in this section.

As the heading suggests, seeing how people’s energies change when you tell them things is an excellent way to see if the genuinely f*ck with you or not.

Watch their energy when you have good news.

Watch their energy when you have bad news.

Watch their energy when you can’t provide what they want from you.

Watch their energy when money is involved in any way, shape or form.

Of course, there are infinite examples of instances where you should clock on to a change of energy. I chose to focus on the ones above because these are the ones that have been recurring themes in in my friendships in most of my adult life, and I have loads of examples so let’s go down the list, shall we?

In terms of good news, obviously your friends should be happy for you. That’s a no brainer and seemingly a simple concept to grasp. What makes it tricky, though, is that people - especially girls - have a tendency to either downplay and minimise the things that are making you feel happy in that moment by giving you embarrassingly weak accolades, or - arguably even worse - pretend to be overly hyped and happy for you while secretly burning on the inside.

A perfect example for this that I recently made my first sale at my new job. I literally told everyone I assumed would be happy for me in excruciating detail. Most of my friends came through with truckloads of gassage, love and support as always and as expected, but I noticed that there were a few that for whatever reason didn’t have much to say. Obviously, there can be multiple reasons for the lack of enthusiasm. But considering the unwavering support and hype I give my close friends, I definitely expect the same energy in return. My best advice for receiving sh*t energy is - again - to just leave it, make a mental note and to not share important things with them again because they don’t deserve to know it.

Similarly, the energy when you come with bad news is very important as well. I’ve altered between keeping everything to myself and leaning on friends for support in the past few weeks, and I definitely noticed a difference between those that genuinely care about my wellbeing, those that were prying for information and tEa, and those that were just asking to be polite and really couldn’t give a f*ck about how I was coping.

The way I knew how to differentiate between the three was simply to do with their responses and follow up questions, and the energy in the calls and messages. Anyone can say that they’re there for you if you want to talk, but there’s actually very, very few that will follow through and not make you feel like a burden or a downer for offloading. I’m actually bad for this - I try my best to help my friends when they need someone but sometimes I just don’t know what to say to make things better. I think the best thing here is to make clear that you want to listen and sympathise, but that you don’t want to make things worse by giving trash advice. But for f*cks sake - do NOT claim you are there for your friends if you know for a fact you aren’t. You’re hurting their feelings.

When it comes to energy changes in relation to a friend not being able to get what they want from you, there really aren’t many grey areas here. If they’re your friend, they’ll accept it and there will be no awkwardness or weird tension. If not, they’ll make you feel like a bad friend for not doing what they want, or even end up manipulating you into overexerting yourself to do what they want regardless of your objections.

The first time I learned this was when I was working as a bartender/FOH staff at a large nightclub back in uni. As you can probably imagine, people would genuinely harass me for free drinks/vouchers, free entry, discounts and so on. For the most part I was very strict about not doing anything that would get me into trouble if managers found out, but that’s not the point. The point here is that people’s reactions to me saying that I wasn’t going to give them free stuff vastly varied - from quietly accepting it and enjoying the rest of the night, to literally spilling drinks on my till and having to be kicked out for kicking off when I said no, followed by talking sh*t about me to anyone that cared enough to listen.

Obviously that’s a very extreme example, but the reaction people have to you telling them “no” really does show where you stand with each other. Again, when you clock negativity just because you can’t accommodate someone else's wishes - just leave it, because they don’t deserve your energy.I hope you are beginning to see a recurring theme here.

Finally and probably the most important - watch how things go in the friendship as long as money is involved.

First of all, we all have different approaches when it comes to money. Some of us are “can you send me the 26p you owe me please” types of people, and some of us adopt a “you paid for this so I have it next time” kind of mentality. Either way is okay, but again - when it comes to money you should definitely consider the points I made above about finding friends that you’re compatible with, because if you know in your heart that you are stingy, you are going to catch a headache from hanging around people that like to chop money like it’s nothing.

Personally, I have a semi-relaxed approach to money and friendships - if I consider you a close friend and know for a fact that you can pay me back, it’s really no issue if I have funds to help out with. At the same time, I avoid borrowing money from others like the plague because I know that people can move extremely mad as soon as there is money involved. There have been instances in which people I know have genuinely gotten into fights, arguments, stopped talking and indirected each other on social media (!) over money that no one forced them to lend out. I honestly don’t understand why people put themselves under financial strain just to be able to dangle it over someone else's head. It’s perplexing - but it does show people’s true colours, which is why I think it’s important to take note of how people act towards you when money is involved. Regardless of if you’re the lender or the borrower.

Once again, if you find yourself in a situation where you’ve borrowed money from someone that will make your life a living hell until you pay them back - just pay them back and leave them alone, because you’ve seen their true colours now. Even vice versa - if you’ve lent someone money and they’re taking the piss in terms of paying you back, just tough it out until they pay you back and then decide if keeping them in your life is worth the stress.

To summarise this section: decide what energy you expect from your friends, and make mental note of those that don’t provide it. Of course, you should generally be putting out the energy to your friends that you want back - so don’t come and say I told you to cut everyone off when you haven’t even been making an effort to be a good friend yourself, please and thank you.

Trust your gut.

As cringe as it may sound, you usually have a feeling when someone isn’t being genuine with you. If you’re anything like me, even the most miniscule shifts in vibes, tone and energy - both in person and over text/social media - sets of a trillion alarm bells in my head. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had an “off” feeling about someone I’ve considered a friend, only to later find out that there’s apparently an issue between us that I had no idea even existed at the time - and this is after they’ve willingly spent time with me in my house, actively made an effort to link up, and chatting to me like we’re friends and everything is fine.

There isn’t really much you can do about this, unfortunately - no matter how upfront, honest and confrontational you are, it’s really not your fault if the person keeps insisting that they don’t have a problem when they’re secretly hating your guts for whatever reason they’ve conjured up in their heads. As someone that has always been the type to straight up ask if there’s an issue and tell people when they’re doing something I don’t like, I guess I sometimes forget that not everyone is like that and that’s why I find myself feeling like I’ve been let down or betrayed so often.

Either way - it ends now, because I’m tired of letting “friends” think that they can a) not give a sh*t about me while offloading all the crap that’s going on in their lives on to me because they kNoW i’Ll LiStEn, and b) treat me however the f*ck they want just because I’m an accommodating person. They don’t deserve my time and energy anymore, and that’s that on that.

Of course, there are many more aspects to friendships and allowing/trusting someone outside of yourself enough to be a support system you can count on. As cliché as it sounds, it is important to remember that all friendships are different and have their own little quirks and dynamics that aren’t as easily identifiable as the points outlined above. Consider this post a general guideline to who genuinely deserves your time, energy and effort, as well as an opportunity to evaluate yourself as a friend and your existing friendships.

As mentioned earlier in this post, hard times or any type of major life event tends to put all aspects of your life into perspective - friendships being one of the biggest ones. I can only really speak for myself, but I think that many young adults in my age range can agree that as life gets tougher and we take on more responsibilities there isn’t any time for petty drama, nonsense, negative energy or toxicity. Life is already hard enough as it is, so what’s the actual point of stressing out over people that aren’t even remotely close to being on the same wavelength as you? Make it make sense.

I genuinely wish I had these revelations and realised what type of friendships I deserve earlier on in life, because it definitely would’ve saved me a whole lot of ugly crying over feeling like fake friends take advantage of my kindness and treat me like sh*t for no reason whatsoever. But we move, I guess - hopefully this post gives you some things to consider next time you feel like your fRiEnDs seem to think you’re a d*ckhead.

Spoiler alert: You’re not, and your friends are trash. Do better, beloved.

Love,

Liv

[shenanigumi]

So I finished Kyoto Winds…

Here’s the comprehensive review I promised!! Keep in mind that I haven’t always paid the closest attention (as my first priority eventually shifted to managing the walkthroughs, since I can replay them anytime), but I’ll do my best to be accurate.

As usual, I’m biased as hell so you’ll want to take a lot of this with a grain of salt, but here we go, with the longest post ever…

Overall

On the gameplay – having been expecting to get to choose the route at the beginning, the fact that I had to navigate all the options and pick accordingly was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. I’ve always been a fan of choice-based gameplay, so really, the only sticking point I hit was Souma’s route. As you may have noticed, I had a bit of trouble figuring out which system of choices was required for me to get to his second appearance. Other than that, everything turned out fine, although the sheer number of options was a little bit overwhelming at first. | 4/5

On the art – fantastic, as always, although there are a couple CGs that look a little funny to me (for instance, I don’t think Kazama’s Ikeda CG looks much like him). I am admittedly also not a fan of the costume recolors in most cases, but it’s not like it gets in the way of my enjoying the game. Additionally, Demons’ Bond also seems to have influenced the Yase backgrounds. We all know how I feel about Demons’ Bond as it relates to Hakuōki, so I’m not too enthusiastic about the parallels, but that’s an entirely different story. | 5/5 – odd-looking CGs and a palette swap I don’t particularly like aren’t enough to knock a point off

On the translation – …ouch. Noticed a huge amount more typos, clumsily written phrases (like using ‘gruff’ to describe someone’s hands), faulty formatting, incorrect dialogue tags, out-of-place swearing (particularly concerning the word ‘bitch’), and plain OOC dialogue (especially from Amagiri) compared to the original. I also hear that Iba’s dialogue wasn’t well-handled either, and it makes me wonder about the accuracy of the ‘new’ lines as well. I don’t have a lot of faith in this one, so I’m going to say the original translation was definitely, and markedly, better. In part because it distinguished between “the Demon” (Hijikata) and “the demon” (Kazama) instead of inexplicably capitalizing the common noun ‘demon’ so it’s possible to confuse the two. Or ‘fury’, for that matter. Yeah, that just makes no sense to me. | 2/5

On the soundtrack – a few tracks are good, and most unremarkable, but on the whole I’d rank it roughly equivalent with the original. I am also a fan of the soundfont; electric acoustic is my jam. I’m also getting a distinctly Demons’ Bond vibe from a lot of them, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does tend to melt into the background so that I can’t really tell the difference between several tracks at first listen. Not that it’s a big deal, but the original stood out a little more to me, I guess. | 3/5

Now, onto the routes! Please note that though the ratings I give the new routes are based exclusively on this game, the ratings I give the six old routes are in comparison to the same routes in the original game, with 1/5 being much worse; 3/5 being about the same; and 5/5 being much better.

Hijikata’s Route

Hijikata’s the same Demon Commander we all know and love, only his relationship and dynamic with Chizuru are fleshed out a little more. Chizuru’s role as his page is given a little more of a spotlight, as is her exact role as his page, and her place in the Shinsengumi as a whole feels a little more solid because of that development. Since the game ends before they reach Edo, they’re not exactly a couple, but since his Memories of Love are included, we see Hijikata’s feelings as well. Overall, this route strikes a good balance, and a believable platform for eventual romance. Which, of course, is ideal on any Implied Canon route. (I was Not Ok with Yamazaki’s death and burial at sea, though. Like… my heart.) | 4/5

Okita’s Route

Okita hasn’t changed a bit, but the reasoning behind his actions is made a little clearer, and his brotherly adoration for Kondou is also stressed a little more. As a character, he feels a little more complete, and I was able to understand his actions a little better without having to guess at his motives (for instance, he repeatedly asserts that he doesn’t like it when other people make inferences about how he or Kondou feels). Because of that, his dynamic with Chizuru also got a little more development, and although the game ends before they’re involved, I can already see the basis for their relationship in the sequel. While OkiChi admittedly felt a little bit sudden in the original, this half-route did a good job of slowing down and zooming in so we can see the shift a little more. Or at least, I could. Maybe it was because I was looking for it. | 4/5

Saito’s Route

THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. This? Right here? Perfect improvement over the original route, adding to all the right places without taking anything away. It includes just enough extra background on Saito and Chizuru and how the two of them interact to make the ship believable. Their relationship is made softer without pulling either of them out of character, and the extent of their compatibility explored. Saito offers just enough reassurance, and Chizuru is just conscious enough of her place in the relationship and in the Shinsengumi, that their development reads as very natural. Excellent. Not much else to say, just like Saito. | 5/5

Heisuke’s Route

Hoo boy. Not a lot of new content and no new CGs, but it’s not like you can do much to improve on Heisuke’s route, anyway, since it was hands down the best in the original. The few things they did add fit in well with the original flow, nothing felt out-of-place, and I was actually enjoying myself quite a bit thanks to all that wonderful HeiChi… until Sen intervened in the conflict between Kazama and Heisuke. Rather than offer herself as the mother of Kazama’s children to spare Chizuru, like in the original, she instead threatens to banish him and his entire clan for interfering with the affairs of humans. However, quite generously, she offers him amnesty if he agrees to leave Heisuke and Chizuru alone. I was… angry. Still am, in fact.

But it’s not just because I ship KazaSen; really, it’s not. It’s because altering that scene threatens the integrity of the entire plot, when you consider that Kazama will eventually join Heisuke and Chizuru in rescuing Sen. Furthermore, her authority to banish an entire clan of demons is never explained, and her threat makes no sense anyway, considering that Yase has literally worked directly for the imperial court for centuries, so she has no business telling Kazama to stand down for allying with the Satsuma. Basically, retconning that scene makes no sense, and plotholes of that magnitude have never sat well with me. I had a bitter taste in my mouth for the rest of the route, which thankfully didn’t last much longer. | 3/5 – the adorableness of HeiChi barely manages to even out the fact that my faith in the plot has been materially damaged

Harada’s Route

Yes. Good. Wonderful development between the two of them, and although there aren’t too many additions until the route split, their relationship is more firmly established—and earlier on—which makes me a little bit more okay with the more mature direction their relationship is headed. Moreover, Harada’s reassurance that Chizuru is just a normal girl and not a monster was sorely needed in the original, and I’m relieved to see that kind of closure here. Otherwise, it was largely unremarkable (in a good way), other than the fact that Shiranui talks a bit more about Takasugi. Which, by the way, was awesome; I still consider TakaShira canon until proven otherwise. | 4/5

Nagakura’s Route

Definitely sweet and enjoyable! I played this one first, so I didn’t actually get all his scenes till I focused on the walkthrough, but there were so many d’aww moments, I lost count. Honestly, they really amped up the sweetness between the two of them (including modifying some of his In Days Past to be a little more romantic), and that kind of mutual innocence is really refreshing since Nagakura’s so… ya know… suggestive. But something feels like it’s missing, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I think it might be Toba-Fushimi, honestly; I was fine up till then, but the last couple chapters feel kind of rushed in a way I can’t explain. Still a good route, though! | 4/5

Sanan’s Route

I… really don’t have a lot of feelings about this one. I wasn’t really expecting to, considering Sanan is my least favorite, but I expected my lack of feelings to be related more to that than the fact that there’s really not much to say about it. Like, there are still a lot of inconsistencies in his personality since so many of the scenes early on are accessible on all routes, and I can’t really get a solid grasp on who he is or what his relationship is to Chizuru. The best thing I can say about his route—other than that Kaoru makes an appearance—is that Chizuru’s feelings are at least clear. | 3/5

Yamazaki’s Route

He may not appear much in the beginning, but once he starts showing up a little more often, it’s priceless. Although the relationship doesn’t have a lot of time to develop, for some reason, it doesn’t feel rushed or incomplete. Somehow, they managed to devise a pairing that doesn’t need a lot of development to be believable; they’re simply naturally suited to one another from the beginning. The dialogue and narrative can get a little saccharine at times, but I was honestly eating it up. Especially when he was holding her hand. Who’d have thought that Yamazaki, of all people, gets the closest to becoming half of a legit couple with Chizuru within the span of the first game alone? | 5/5

Iba’s Route

I… ugh… just please get him away from me. As I’ve said, you’d have to work really hard to find someone with whom I’m less personally compatible, and because I already find it difficult to put myself in Chizuru’s tabi, I could not for the life of me get into his route at all. The man’s as Mary a Sue as you’ll find anywhere. The Long-Lost, Somehow-Forgotten Childhood Friend of Chizuru, whom she miraculously remembers throughout his route, Iba is Gallant and Pacifistic and Really Nice All the Time. In fact, he Can Do No Wrong, is Inhumanly Selfless, and wants nothing more than Chizuru’s safety and happiness at any given time. He’s also On Really Good/Personal Terms with All the Captains because he also used to frequent Shiei Hall for undisclosed reasons (other than being the son of a dojo master himself—oh yeah, and he’s a master at his style of swordplay, by the way, although he’s never killed anyone because of his Incorruptible Pure Pureness).

So basically, the dude’s already wormed his way into everyone’s hearts long before the route even starts, and that just strikes me as unfair. Basically, the route relies on their pasts to create chemistry and the foundation for a ‘believable’ relationship, instead of showing how they’re suited to one another in the present. Honestly, he creeps me out more than a little. Of course, independently of his character, the plot itself is fine—if a little bland at times. I don’t exactly appreciate the reused/paralleled backgrounds from Demons’ Bond, or the random demons’ arms that just kinda come out of nowhere and don’t seem to have an apparent purpose beyond being attached to Takeda and Iba (why are they even in Yase? how come they weren’t destroyed? what the fuck?), but those are personal grudges. Anyway, yeah, definitely not my favorite. | 2/5

Souma’s Route

After the amount of heartache I had trying to get his route, I remember swearing that he’d better be the best ever. I wasn’t particularly disappointed. Souma’s like… Heisuke’s mirror image, in a way. Both are awkward oblivious sweethearts, but Heisuke’s more fun-loving, while Souma is serious to a fault. In the same way I love Heisuke and HeiChi’s dynamic, Souma and SouChi strike me as very similar. They support one another, learning and growing together, throughout the route. It’s really refreshing to see Chizuru in a different ‘kind’ of relationship, too, considering that she’s Souma’s ‘senpai’ (well, his mentor in being a page) as opposed to being one of the captains’ inferiors. There are also quite a few backstory moments in this route, which I appreciated, although a few of them read as a little bit contrived; I’d have preferred they spread it out a bit. Also, Fuck-and-Run Miki makes a great antagonist, and I’m pleased to see more of him—although I was a bit disappointed to find Kazama once again assuming the same basic role as he does in Saito’s route. Like, can we have more Heisuke’s-route-esque ‘reluctant rivalrous allies’ banter? | 4/5

Sakamoto’s Route

Okay, so… I kinda love this guy, and it’s not all because he resembles Shiranui. He’s an interesting character, and it’s nice to have a route with someone who isn’t affiliated with the Shinsengumi but isn’t also trying to kidnap Chizuru. The thing is, although I wouldn’t say the ship feels forced, Sakamoto moves really fast, like probably faster than Harada fast, considering he’s technically got the first chronological kiss CG—just not on the lips. It’s also a little less clear how, when, and why Chizuru becomes interested in him. It might just be the fact that I like the character enough to let it slide, but I didn’t have any trouble suspending disbelief long enough to squeal at their cute moments. Even though I wouldn’t say it was an incredible route, it was honestly really interesting, because it follows a completely different path than I was used to, departing from the usual set of choices. (Also, any route with more Shiranui is fine by me. I’m a shallow girl with obvious motives; so sue me.) | 4/5

Kazama’s Route

Better than the original for sure, but that’s not exactly saying much. I do like that there are actual options for raising Kazama’s affection prior to the split, because it makes the entire concept of him having a route make much more sense. I can’t say that Chizuru’s reasoning in choosing to follow him specifically makes any more sense than it did before, especially considering that she could easily have chosen to accompany someone else (I’d have chosen Shiranui, to no one’s surprise). Speaking of which, I’m also not entirely sure how I feel about Sen taking them both to Yase without the slightest suspicion about Kazama’s prior intention to abduct her, or the fact that she doesn’t instruct Amagiri to chaperone, but I can live with it because it looks like there’ll be some semblance of an actual plot this time. Meaning that Kaoru and Kodo are in league to resurrect the Yukimura clan through furies, and Kazama and Chizuru are out to stop them. Considering that Kodo’s death felt like an afterthought in Kazama’s original route, I’m all for this change. I still don’t ship KazaChi in the slightest, though. I just… can’t. | 3/5

Final Assessment

Average Meta Score (art, OST, etc.): 3.5 / 5 Average Route Score: 3.75 / 5 Verdict: Pretty Damn Good Overall [Shenanigumi Approved – Except KazaSen’s De-Canonization]

From disappointment to elation, I’ve felt it all across the board, and shed more than a few tears at varying points (and this is before I even explore the bad endings). If you don’t have this game and you’re waiting to see whether you feel like getting it or not, I don’t have any advice for you. Whether or not it’s worth it to get the game or even the system is up to you, but I hope that was enlightening!

[sublimazion3]

Let's be delusional!Okay so what if let's say there's no dating ban and Sakura'sgay and she likes Haruppi back. They're together now! Now what? I mean, personality-wise how will they work? We all know that Sakura's the top and all that but is it going to be the type of relationship where she will do her best just to make Haruppi happy? or i]] the other way around? Haru trying to do whatever Sakura wants? Where will they go on their dates? Who will initiate 1st kiss? Will they fight?

Fist of all, let me say that Sakura doesn’t need to be gay to like Haruka back. Just something I felt like pointing out. XD Second of all, right the other day I was checking zodiac signs and their compatibility (because I am very much obsessed with these personality descriptions-kinda-things, whether they are from the MBTI or the enneagram or the zodiac signs - if you have never heard of the first two, I recommend you to check them out) and I kind of found out how a Pices-Virgo relationship would work out. (today I also checked my sign’s overall description and I was so shocked by how accurate it was, I tried to go reading both Pisces and Virgo’s complete descriptions and oh. my god. I also happen to have two Virgo friends, and they both told me that the descrption is 90% accurate so… Yeah. Just that.) 

How they might approach love; 

Apparently, “when virgo women fall in love they can feel very much scared at the beginning, feeling so shy they will never be able to do the first move”, whereas Pisces women “would feel super energetic and excited by these feelings, paying attention only to the person they feel so much attracted to”. Now. I feel like Sakura would totally be the one making the first move, simply because if she doesn’t do it everything will go to hell ‘cause no way Haruka will ever make the first move. And this we knew even before I got into this zodiac signs shit but it honestly shocks me even more to read how accurate this shit can be. About Pisces and Virgo: “They complement each other best through communication and intellectual stimulation. When they start their relationship, they are bound to realize how similar they actually are, even though they seem so different.”, what have I been saying since about day one? “They look so far away from each other, and yet so close. They’ve got so many things in common…” also Haruka on her G+, “Sometimes Saku-chan and I are so close we understand each other only by looking at each other, without the need of words”. 

However, both Sakura and Haruka appear to have trust issues;

Sakura: “the only place in which I cry is the bathtub”, which kind of suggests to me that she ain’t that prone to open up to other people especially when it comes to her weaknesses. She’s usually pretty honest and straightforward, but sometimes she gives me the vibes of someone who doens’t always say everything she’s got on her mind maybe for fear that people might misunderstand her and think bad about her. Haruka has got exactly the same issues. At handshake events, sometimes she finds it a hard time to talk to people, maybe to express her thoughts about certain matters, because she’s unsure whether people will understand her or not. Same thing goes about her dreams: she’d talk about them only with her mother or people she 100% trusts, because she fears that other people might not understand her, or judge her. So, to answer to your question: “[…]is it going to be the type of relationship where she (Sakura) will do her best just to make Haruppi happy?”, I don’t think so. I think it would be that type of relationship where they both would need time to feel a true connection in order to feel 100% comfortable around each other, to feel that they can be 100% sincere with one another. Despite I feel like Haruka is the type of person who truly needs to feel loved by the other person. She needs to constantly feel special, took care of, trasured, loved. 

“Haru trying to do whatever Sakura wants?”

I feel like Sakura is the kind of person who wants to try many different things. She wants to challenge herself, constantly trying to find a place where she truly blongs to (and this might also be the reason that lays behind her very different “dreams” or “possible goals” in life - what is the place she truly belongs to? Doctor that helps childs to be born? Story writer? Musical/Theater/Cinema Actress? Idol? Hotel builder???), and as Haruka might probably feel kind of “confused” by this constant “trying new things” to which Sakura might or might not feel drawn to, I feel like she would follow her around. Haruka more than once said she’d like to try all kind of different cousines in the world. But different cousines also means different cultures and customs and traditions, so I feel like she’d follow her around kind of out of curiosity. Because she too, on a completely different level, has got this need to see and feel all the things that this Earth has to offer. 

“Where will they go on their dates?”

They both share the love for movies and cinema, they both share the love for food, they both share the love for books and writing, they both share the love for pretty deep and heavy stuff, so I feel like they would have quite a lot to choose from. 

“Who will initiate 1st kiss?“

This kind of goes back to their “possible love approach” point. Sakura would have to initiate the kiss, very likely, because Haruka would never, ever make the first move. During Sashiko Du Soleil, yes, she was the one who leaned forward to kiss Sakura who looked quite “embarrassed”, but that was out of a request. That was because Sashihara asked them to, and because they had an audience to please. Haruka did it the first time, but she pretended to kiss her already on the second time (then Sashihara saw that and forced her kiss Sakura for real, again) and managed not to really touch Sakura’s lips on the third time, too. By the way they describe Virgo, it sounds like quite the “head” type of sign. No feelings. Feelings are taboo. Now, it has happened more than once that Haruka would “hide” away her feelings, especially if they were “Sad/Bad ones” like disappointment or sadness. She’d hide away when crying, almost as though she feels shameful by that. But she can’t help it but “give voice” to how she truly feels. To what she thinks. Her heart goes doki doki when she has to kiss with Sakura, but it’s not like she has got any romantic feelings for her. She can’t help it to look at other members’ boobs, but please don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not what you think it is.It’s as though she needs to voice how she truly feels, but quickly has got to dismiss that. “This is how I feel/what I think — But it’s not like…”. Feeling something, but refusing to accept it. So, kind of out necessity really, it would be Sakura to initiate first kiss. 

“Will they fight?” 

100% yes. I adressed this a few times before already, but I firmly think that because of Haruka’s big competitiveness, she does feel kind of bad when Sakura manages to achieve more stuff than she does. I’m sure she also feels happy for her, I’m sure she also admires her, but she also feels kind of envious. And I’m pretty sure that Sakura knows that and that it makes her feel uncomfortable. So this might be one thing they would fight over. Other things might be their mutual difficulty of opening up. Once they’ve established that they can trust each other, if they’re originally the type of people who keep everything to themselves - one crying in the bathtub and the other covering her face with a scarf and a hat - I feel like this might be quite challenging to keep on a healthy relationship. You want your partner to feel safe enough to feel able to share all their problems and tough moments with you. If they don’t do that, you’ll probably end up feeling like you’re not “good enough” for them, or trustworthy enough. I feel like they also have quite the different vision of the world that surrounds them, to a certain extend, so maybe they might end up fighting over their different point of views, occasionally. Not to mention that Haruka can be pretty childish sometimes, so there’s also that. 

I am kind of shocked by the way I ended up psychologically analyze these two poor creatures. I told myself I would’ve stopped doing this…