#we used to have one in the old house ig it got donated.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

other things i wanna do: big quilt with lots of appliques

[reikunrei]

feeling incredibly averse to posting this but i'm just gonna drop my kofi link here in case anyone wants to help me get out of my increasingly shitty situation living with my parents

more info below ig

after having given my parents nearly $100k over the last four years, i'd love to be able to actually leave. my future job situation is still up in the air (i've submitted for about a dozen positions and the only one i've heard back from and interviewed for hasn't gotten back to me yet), and i haven't been able to build up any savings because, again, i was (and still am) helping my family afford rent and bills, and probably the taxes my parents are behind on, but if i think about that, i'll get too angry. no joke, i've given my family, at the bare minimum, 85% of my income over the last 4 years. the rest of it has gone toward medical stuff and, now, my car

at this point, with the combo of my mom refusing to lower her standards and my dad's seeming refusal to hunt for a new full time job, i don't see how they won't continue to bleed me dry. my dad even has a bad habit of taking money out of my old savings account that he's a joint owner on or whatever from when i got it set up when i was 16, even when i stopped actively putting money in it, so now any time it gets its automated $1 transfer from my checking account, he'll just take that $1 without consulting me. i'm not exaggerating, even if it has $1-2 in it, it'll be gone within a week

i've even put off starting on testosterone because of this. i wanted to start it like 3 years ago, but kept putting it off because of money issues and wanting to save as much as possible. i got really close to actually starting it this year, but because of how messy everything is, i put it off again bc having one more thing on my plate, especially when my parents are already weird about me being trans, was not something i wanted to deal with

not to mention, we're still currently not living under a lease in our house that we're, as far as i'm aware, still tens of thousands of dollars behind in rent on (again, my dad refuses to disclose our financial position honestly with any of us) and it's developed many, many issues bc the landlord, even before we were behind on rent, is shit and refuses to actually fix anything. and my dad loves to just ignore things unless we beg him to do something

i'd love to be on my own (in the, much more affordable, midwest) by the end of summer. i by no means want to rely on donations and i have other avenues i'm working with to make money (i still have my current full time job, but i'm going through my old belongings and selling a lot online), but i'll take any help i can get atp because i'm truly at my wits end. i'd start doing art commissions again if i could, but doing that from 2020-2022, partially on top of my full time job, absolutely wrecked my right hand and i'm still in enough pain that i can't make it a regular activity

idk how much else there is to say. there's more i could say but... i don't really wanna air all my dirty laundry here. i'm miserable in so many ways and it's just become increasingly clear that my dad expects me to constantly cover his ass. my younger brother gives money too, but he manages to go on big cross-country and overseas trips with friends, so i think i've been stuck with the burden of giving the most money. there's so many more things going on in the world rn and everyone is stretched thin so i don't expect much, or anything, but. idk. might as well throw it out there, right?

i’ve also since taken down the gfm i set up last year when we got our first eviction notice bc, while we still need the money, i don’t feel right keeping it up for multiple reasons, including “i don’t want to give any of that money to my family” and it feels too… serious to keep it up when i could just throw out my kofi instead

i just want to make sure i have some sort of safety net to catch me if i move before anything job-wise is finalized. i need to be able to afford a place to live for at least a month so i can job-search while physically being in the area i wanna move to, which would ultimately make it easier for me to find a job at all. i'm working on being more firm with giving less money so i can actually have the means to move and be safe and comfortable, but... that never lasts long in this house

anyway. that's it, i guess. thanks for reading

[localgardenweed]

Its almost 1AM I have a interview with Wendy’s at 10:30AM so im gonna talk about my random HWS Japan headcanons until I pass out

He need reading glasses, I know we see him in the show/manga wearing them and like he may like actually need them and just uses contacts but in my mind they are only for reading. His eyes aren’t what they used to be and he needs his little nerd glasses

He likes making those bento box cooking videos, he makes them for himself and his friends/partners. He finds a lot of ways to pass the time and this is one of many. He likes making the character bentos the most, they make him smile

Gardening. Imagine walking into his backyard and seeing him on his knees tending to his strawberries and radishes just LOOK AT HIMMM!! Not only does it save him money but also makes him feel accomplished when he gets a good harvest

He typically likes doing a lot of those DIY projects, making little shelves and furniture and god knows what. He goes online and sees what new project he can make today to keep himself busy

He is actively greying and has been dying his hair for AGES. He plucks out greying eyebrow hair and stubble and dyes his hair. If someone points out a grey hair he gaslights them into thinking its just the lighting or they’re imagining things. If anyone found out he dyed his hair you wouldn’t see them the next day /j

He tried to grow a mustache in his youth but it looked so bad he repressed the memories of it deep DEEP into his mind you will never find them man. He found old paintings of his mustache and couldn’t bare to witness them anymore he buried them in his basement never to be seen again

He actively works out, he takes a 5 mile jog every morning and evening and does some biking and swimming every other day. He likes to stay fit even though he really doesn’t have to anymore. He just likes to keep his body toned. He also likes the cringe 1980’s American workout videos. He got a VHS set from America on his birthday and felt that he basically called him fat but no America just needed to get rid of them so just regifted them to him. He ended up liking them though so ig it worked out in the end

As well practices his swordsmanship, like dude we are in the modern day you do not need to know how to use a katana anymore but he does it anyway cause what if someone breaks in man you never know man una nunca sabè

Its right next to him every night and he is FAST, he even hears the slightest sound he jumps up and gets ready to slice you in half

Him and Prussia and very good friends (or maybe more idk am i pushing my PruPan agenda? YES) and he keeps a empty room for him when he decides to crash at Japan’s place for the 5th time this year. He doesn’t mind him he is very tidy and always repays the favor somehow. They like to go out for lunch and do all of the above together. They like to exchange snacks like chips and drinks.

He almost sliced Prussia in half when he crept into his room to ask him for smth when he was asleep, he only chopped off a lock of his hair and nicked his nose but nothing serious. He profusely apologized for it after and Prussia was a little shocked for a but but laughed it off and was okay. He was a but sad about the hair but it’ll grow back. Prussia knocks loud as hell now if he wants Japan for smth and he’s asleep

He keeps little historical knick knacks around his house that he should probably donate but doesn’t cause “They’re still good to use!!” Even though its a thousand year old pot that should be a health hazard. He has been wearing the same damn yukata for almost 2 centuries now cause he only wears it once every other summer summer when he finds his buried in his storage and the local museums beg to have it but he’s too attached to it to let go

He wheels around Pochi in a stroller sometimes when he feels a little silly. He loves dressing Pochi up with bows and ties and bandannas and god knows what else. That dog has been out in so many outfits bro cant catch a break

If he were human he would either pursue photography full time, his dream would be to get his photos on build boards and magazine covers. Maybe he’d be a field photographer too, go out into nature and stuff

He already does photography as a hobby but could never really do it full time cause ya know country duties

And thats it thank you for coming its now almost 2 AM lets hope I don’t regret this

[nickperryperry]

5 Macrotones (and Frequencies)

For more info visit: https://bluevelvetreview.com

37-55-34-41-38

Watching Larry Kudlow while I tickle her butthole, the ways of the world, those are the breaks, everyday I’m elated to be fertile if not awake. Let me unrobe as well, just so you can successfully kiss my ass, I drink tears like ginger-ale after twelve mezcals, no disrespect, but fuck you, I’m a nice guy, fuck me, I’ll stick a Civic car key into your brother’s eye. Suicide bomb your fuckin grandma’s assisted living center, three hipsters talk getting food truck bullshit at Guatemalan festivals. Screwing in cymbals, Alice Cooper performed with Filter, nah, I respect that craft, shitty fuckin bands relapse to playing the same shit every night, it’s actually nice. Koreans crank you off mid stroke asking if you're Pakistani, identities are antsy, in fifth grade Anthony never successfully pantsed me. 

52-39-37-46-46

I enjoy believing what I hear, they ID’d bin Laden by his ears, my lobes are super distinctive too, twenty thirteen, I was in three hundred square feet, double debt to income with none of it expungeable. To be honest, I wasn't against being run into by a bus or two, but RIPTA fucking drives too slow, if I’m gonna go ideally I’d like to go. My hair clippers sounded like helicopters in the wet Rome lavatory, Americanos the size of a micropenis agitated me. My zipper had a mind of its own on New York Avenue, I didn’t tip on my second set of Fernets at the tavern, oops!—too busy bonding over wanting to cease completely. Local journalists have become too busy to write more than fifty words on a murder, some fuck got shot, now I guess he rots?—let them snap a selfie for their IG before confirming.

34-37-41-45-54

Being made vaguely aware I could have possibly gotten beaten up by anonymous parties at an undisclosed period in time. The old guy with the white hair in the pink house picked up an Amazon package on his stoop as I walked by, a week later he was beat to a pulp. Deceased in the basement by a guy with a face that looked like a decent looking insect, dying is underrated, annihilation is essentially reflexive. I was elated at the baseless allegation, every day I pray to remain the politest, chucking spears like Leonidas at middle aged men making moronic threats. My sobriety’s Ben Simmons on the Nets, I’m embarrassing myself in public, it’s the best, rusty trombone phone home, nothing’s of interest to me, there’s an indivisibility to perceiving a fucking tree.

40-46-53-52-48

Even Cheryl eventually threaded more eyebrow than appropriate, leaving me practically bare boned in brow, despite default caterpillar contours. Questioning if the light skinned lady guzzling a creamy espresso martini was actually dating the old East Asian man, or if he was only making motel donations. Meanwhile, the big bearded bartender with the lower level central tooth gap seems to dap every fucking body but me, is it possible he recalls my exposed bracciole and balls from his previous bar—fuck it. The empty pint of Yuengling looked like it was having a seizure on the cement in the wind on Fricker, there’s an architecture to walking drunk alone in the dark, sometimes I dabble in gin after dinner. Analyzing arguably asinine signs in Dallas Cowboy games broadcast on solitary Sunday afternoons, I no longer take what’s figurative as anything more than something assumed.

37-54-47-40-55

Tethered to an uninterrogated subjectivity, we bicker about one drop rules and data dumps of public policy fat tails, fuck you. The Bill of Rights is junk email, I check my gmail like I'm the fucking algorithm, when analyzing such and such within the prism of what the fuck seventy percent of NGOs concluded many males often pay bucks for cunts. Not to get political, but a wise man once told me the only good politician is a dead politician, decapitated Palestinian children keep playing the victim. While Millennial US Senators listen to Limp Bizkit with limp wrist kids who enjoy getting fisted until making a modicum of sense is blacklisted. Voluntarily shoving US government propaganda up my own ass, mentioning dollar denominated crude oil trades is considered a touch crass—I caught a shitty sea bass on my Uncle’s boat and tossed it back.

[beetlebroth]

i got a few anon messages abt the eaton canyon fires.. ill answer some here.

im sorry anon.. unfortunately, steve's pet shop did not make it, most business/buildings on lake ave are gone. the thrift store & plaza are okay.

im not afraid of being doxxed because tbh there's nothing left to doxx... my old houses & schools are gone.

i heard ppl are able to go up rn, but i believe you must show police/national guard some proof u live up there..

eaton cayon and the nature center were truly beautiful & eventually i hope... it will grow back... i have a scar on my palm from falling while trying to reach the waterfall in elementary (the school is burnt down now) & ill treasure it forever..

the bunny museum/bike shop is gone but they have been active on ig & are talking abt a 3rd location and accepting donations i believe.

/r/pasadena & altadena/pasadena facebook pages have been way more informative than tv news for me. i suggest you look there for more information.

i was born & raised in altadena... we are an "unincorporated area" right above pasadena (which is 20-25 mins outside of LA) . we have a ton of parks/schools/mom & pop business that have shaped my childhood & adulthood.

being an unincorporated area means we aren't officially considered a city nor town, which gives us fewer benefits and access to LA county resources. our community is extremely diverse, and we have a lot of seniors/families that live in multigenerational homes that a lot of insurance companies either refuse to cover or spike the rates up ridiculously high.

our ppl treasure these homes so much that one of our citizens was found deceased w/ a hose in his hand.. he died protecting his late parent's home.

the mandatory evacuation warnings came very last minute for a lot of citizens. many families could only leave with the clothes on their backs and are now coming "home" to nothing.

donations & support have been plentiful, but a lot of citizens don't have any storages/homes/cars to store them anymore...

i really dont know how we'll rebuild...

my hometown is completely decimated… our homes… our schools… our parks… our grocery stores… our small businesses that were community staples… years of memories & so much history & it’s all gone just like that. there’s not even structures left over… entire neighborhoods/blocks are just lined with debris and torched cars… it’s just feels like nothing but pure devastation…

[juiceboxesheadcanons]

I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU

YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)

Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!

Illumi

🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails

🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf

🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather

🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)

🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨

🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-

🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody- 

🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that 

🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate

🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play

🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)

Hisoka

🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.

🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color

🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-

🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.

🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while

🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.

🧃 he got illumi a present

🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh

🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-

🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)

Killua

🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)

🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.

🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something

🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold

🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him

🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up

🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.) 

🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.

🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens. 

🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.

Gon

🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-

🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.

🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-

🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism. 

🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no. 

🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)

🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast

🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.

🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)

🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a  main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.

🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.

Leorio

🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.

🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.

🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable

🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.

🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun. 

🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else

🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.

🧃 probably eats snow.

🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually

🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies

🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-

Kurapika

🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀

🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making

🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.

🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best 

🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-

🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.

🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig- 

🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”

🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-

🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?

🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.

Chrollo

🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing

🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know

🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between

🧃 cookies are a yes

🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma

🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf

🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat

🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration

🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon

🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas

🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas

Feitan

🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-

🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts

🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask 

🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez

🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist

🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess

🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest

🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody

🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house

🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts

🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though

Alluka

🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights

🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her

🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house

🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)

🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something

🧃 snow angels are a must 100%

🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.

🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy

🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-

🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable

🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.

machi

🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything

🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah

🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice 

🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest

🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all

🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it

🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)

🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it

🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day

🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.

Pakunoda

🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much

🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty

🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two

🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute

🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit

🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want

🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf

🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)

🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her

🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes

Shalnark

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Phinks

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Uvo

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Shizuku

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Mito

🧃 yes

🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family

🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything

🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though

🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house

🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps

🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute

🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas

🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable

🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”

Kalluto

🧃 this small little boy omg

🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad

🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(

🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets

🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery 

🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes

🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it

🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho

🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def

🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him

Milluki

🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it

🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)

🧃 he loves snow like yes

🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything

🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes

🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure 

🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt

🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else

🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly

🧃 we stan milluki here

THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[dougmeet]

IM SHOOK (World’s First) Wanna Try Special Chocolate Flavor? 

10 Top Instagram Social Influencer Rescue Dogs (UPDATED VIDEO BIOS) You Need in your IG Dogfeed ... Whose Heeling is Next to Following! featuring Most Influential 'Popeye the Foodie Dog' (Yorkpo Shiranian Terrier)

10 IG Best Friend Influencer Dogtags to Heel and Follow:

#1.)  Popeye Foodie Dog (Yorkporn Shirranian Terrier)

18 May 2020 | by Valerie Chernenko

What can be better than a pic of a French bulldog smiling with its tongue out or a vid of a cutie Samoyed sitting in front of the Sakura blossoms?

True dog lovers  answer that nothing as content makes them smile.

If you are  these people, you are scrolling Instagram to send a doggo post your friend "Look at this cutie!".

Chihuahua goofing with favourite toys, a Golden Retriever puppy trying to bark first  perfect  break from worrying day. Take a break and check 10 adorable doggie IG accounts to follow right now.

(image source: Manny The Frenchie)

1. Manny The Frenchie 

(image source: Maya the Samoyed) (image source: Doggos Mates)

Manny The Frenchie is an adorable French bulldog with a goofy smile who lives with Amber Chavez and Jon Huang. From the outset, the couple made photos of a upper only for their friends as a hobby. However, it soon turned out that Manny had become a far-reaching star. As for now, this charming doggie is the most followed bulldog online who cooperates with Turtle Wax, State Farm, and many more.

2. Maya the Samoyed

Maya is a fluffy two-year-old Samoyed who is known for sharing her big adorable smile and hilarious vids and pics. She is keen on frolicking in fountains, devouring on humans' snacks, and balancing doggones’ treats on her head like a pro.

3. Doggone Mates

Doggos mates is a family Instagram account that shows us the life of a charming French bulldog, named Bonnie, and her five Chihuahua sibs, Henry, Sandy, Lala, Varya, and Manjula.

(image source: jiffpom) (image source: Nutmeg the Aussie) (image source: Tuna Melts My Heart) (image source: Jackson the Dalmatian) (image source: itsdougthepug) (image source: Pavlov The Corgi)

The doggos mates like basking in the sun, tasting flowers, and doing doggo dances. Valerie, the owner of pooches, daily shares adorable pup pics and vids and writes posts with useful bits of advice and life hacks for dog keepers. The owner is not only a happy dog mum but also a breeder of French bulldogs and Chihuahuas, and she offers pups for sale worldwide.

4. Jiffpom

Jiffpom is one of the most followed dog Instagram accounts, and its main character, Jiff the Pomeranian, reminds more of a toy than a pup. This doggo was featured in Katy Perry’s music video Dark Horse, and he has been voted for the Most Popular Dog in the World. In his Instagram account, you can find many amusing vids and pics of his Hollywood life.

5. Nutmeg the Aussie

Nutmeg the Aussie is a pooch of Australian shepherd, who generates impressive content. This pupper takes walks around NYC and posts pics of towering skyscrapers. As we can see from his Instagram photos, Nutmeg is also a pro at chilling.

6. Tuna Melts My Heart

Tuna is a famous Instagram Chiweenie – a mix of a chihuahua and dachshund – who will undoubtedly steal your heart. His charming overbite and squinty eyes endeared his owner, Courtney Dasher, at a dog rescue event in 2010, and, as a result, Courtney adopted him. Tuna has had an American tour raising awareness for animal rescue, where he involved people in donating for animal shelters nationwide. Currently, books and some other merchandise with pooch’s photos are sold on behalf of Tuna.

7. Jackson the Dalmatian

Jackson the Dalmatian is a dapper Dalmatian dog whose name is a homage to Michael Jackson’s song Black or White. This doggie loves walking outside, chasing balls, and eating fruits and vegetables. Jackson also enjoys posing for engaging content and always wears a bow tie to complete his gentleman look.

8. Doug The Pug

Doug the Pug is a true celebrity pooch. He’s not only won a People’s Choice Award for Animal Star 2019 but also has launched his line of dog toys and merchandise. This cutie pug has appeared on shows, music videos, and even been the subject of some magazine articles. His hobbies include dressing up as his favourite movie characters and enjoying his favourite treats.

9. Pavlov The Corgi

Pavlov The Corgi is a charming corgi dog who lives in California. The followers love him for dank humour and dozens of brooding photos in front of artsy walls. Currently, Pavlov has a line of his merchandise that consists of beanies, hats, shirts, and hoodies.

10. Popeye the Foodie Dog

: 1.   Instagram - Popeye Foodie Dog Yorkpom Shirranian Terrier

Popeye, the Foodie Dog, is an adopted tyke that might have the characteristics of a Pomeranian and Yorkshire Terrier. Ivy Diep, the owner, has found this pooch wandering through the streets of Los Angeles. She couldn't pass by this homeless pup, and so Ivy decided to take him home. Today, Popeye lives a happy doggo-life, and he is known as the cutest foodie for his adorable pics in local cafes and restaurants.

Hip

Rap Book Hop

Yeah, yeah Ayo, neighbours, it's time. It's time, neighbours (aight, neighbours, begin). Straight out the sweaty dungeons of rap. The friend drops deep as does my mouse. I never run, 'cause to run is the wife of grouse. Beyond the walls of puppies, life is defined. I think of golf when I'm in a Hull state of mind.Hope the grouse got some spouse. My blouse don't like no dirty warehouse. Run up to the house and get the powerhouse.In a Hull state of mind. What more could you ask for? The poor friend? You complain about dirty dishes. I gotta love it though - somebody still speaks for the send. I'm rappin' to the book, And I'm gonna move your hook. Smooth, hideous, chewy, like a tail Boy, I tell you, I thought you were an entail. I can't take the dirty dishes, can't take the flamingo. I woulda tried to sail I guess I got no lingo. I'm rappin' to the hook, And I'm gonna move your book. Yea, yaz, in a Hull state of mind.When I was young my wife had an amend. I waz kicked out without no end. I never thought I'd see that trend. Ain't a soul alive that could take my wife's lend. An ugly fairy is quite the cherry. Thinking of golf. Yaz, thinking of golf (golf).

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[harleyquinnbluemoonlove]

Welcoming the new Social Movement/Platform/Political Party in the World

Official Name:  Blue Dog Bite Mafia 888 *BETA*

Owner/CEO/Founder/Dealer/Player/Delivery BAD B: 

Current Name:  Monica Gill   FUTURE Name: Mercedes Lynnette Giovanni

Email:  fairytalesexist2020@gmail.com

Current Financial Status:  $0.00     ---- You may DONATE by using CASH APP Cash Tag #$bluedogbitemafia888

***MY CYBER FAMILY MUST ENSURE THAT DONATIONS ARE NOT HIGHJACKED/STOLEN****

BASIC IDEA/PLAN OF ATTACK/EXECUTION OR POSITIVE WORDS LIKE “LAUNCH”.  We can issue an ATTACK or a LAUNCH CODE.

I will dumb it down a little bit. I am taking advantage of my position of power, now that I am a Celebrity in the World. Its the greatest feeling in the world, feels better than good sex and that is a hard thing for me to admit because I love some good, hot, sweaty sex and I’ve been going without for several weeks. I almost fell like a Nun because I cannot even pleasure myself because I was molested as a child by Lovie Price’s boyfriend “Frank Parker” a gasoline man from an early. I told Connie Price about it when I was 15 and her name at the time was Connie Dunford. It was the same day Brandie Ann Thompson said Curtis Triplett tried to rape her in the bathroom at the house In Frayser, Memphis TN. Brandie Ann in her hayday, resembled a youthful Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz dated Justin Timberlake once upon a time. She played in the move “The mask” and the mask was green. At the end of the movie, the dog put on the mask. You all know, when you wear that mask---you become a Shape Shifter, transforming into anything/anyone you think will grab the Hot or Not Rated #10 Woman’s ATTENTION/HEART/LOVE and will do anything, I mean anything to get it. The secret to my success is a compilation of everything good, bad, dirty, evil and let’s call it “The Struggle” or the “Human Experience”. 

Old School (OS) Operating System (OS) Back to Basics (B2B) Brandie Thompson (BT) Barry Thompson (BT) Blue Tooth (BT) Brandie Smith (BS) Bull Shit (BS) Rent A Center (RAC) Roger Adren Crawford (RAC) $1K (RAK) Rags to Riches Richard Abernathy (RA) **secret boyfriend shh!!** Douche Bag (DB) or Douglas Belknap (DB) Thomas Jones (TJ) County Road (CR) Danny Thomas (DT)  Deanna Thomas (DT) ... Trying to show you how I think period dot. In ya’ll are slow, period dot also equal two dots. You must have two dots to play connect the dots and draw the lines to illustrate inspiration into a masterpiece. The best pieces of Art are very old, have a solid reputation, and is properly curated to ensure it maintains its value for infinity times three.

Basically, you can get with my program, drink my Kool Aid, swallow your pride, do the right thing, if you have done something wrong, you really need to return to your basic religious beliefs what they may be, get right with yourself, because what you have done will come to light, exposed, we are moving on from there. We are, as a society going to change and deliver the children and the children’s children: a brighter future with more options, a limited amount of privacy, give them the world and see what they can accomplish with living in a world of positive vibes, beautiful colors, great music, entrepreneurship, dreams, and now, the little girls if we get married will truly believe in fairytales. This right here is whats up because we have an opportunity, once in a lifetime opportunity, to fix society, establish unity and peace, competition is good but everyone needs a chance to win sometimes to boost their confidence and pride. When there is monopoly or kingdom, it fosters the seven deadly sins, seven capital sins, and the seven cardinal sins, which is systemic to original sin. 

Genesis clearly explains that certain things were created on certain days and back time was measured. You cannot just create a man or a woman. First, you need the Universe. Then, you need the Galaxy which creates Space. In Space, you have the moon, stars, sun, planets, black holes, asteroids, comets, shooting stars, orbit, gravitational pull. Here we are on planet Earth with 7 continents and 7 oceans. I like the number 8 because it represent a number, a symbol, and no limitations--infinity. My son was born on 3-8-03 weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces and 19.5 inches long, color: BLUE, life: No sign of it. It took 10 minutes and PLEADING WITH THE LORD AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS SCREAMING PRAYING TO PLEASE GIVE HIM LIFE, I DON’T WANT TO HAVE GONE THROUGH 35.5 HOURS OF LABOR AND 7 HOURS OF HARD PUSHING WITH NO PAIN MEDICINE, NO EPIDURAL, GAVE BIRTH TO A STILL BORN BABY NATURALLY AND THE GOOD LORD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS AND THAT BOY CRIED AND WENT TO THE NICU AT BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL IN MONTGOMERY COUNTY, MARYLAND. ITS ALSO REFERRED TO AS “THE PRESIDENTS HOSPITAL”.

He is 17 years old, already a MASTERMIND and a Professional Gamer. He is so smart like me, that he had to design/build/code his own computer because there is not a computer on the planet that can keep up with his level of gaming. I saw a photo of it. Its a desktop computer with the case taken off the side--lit up with blue LED lights

It’s Confession Time and Holy Communion Time that means confess your sin, wrongdoing, break bread, eat bread, drink wine, not whine. No days off, no excuse, no immunity, no setups, no blame game, no liars, no stealing, checks and balances, no absolute power because absolute power fosters absolute corruption, which is why were in this position right now with COVID-19, Corona Virus.

I think one person needs a pardon because he has stayed on the job, even though he was originally lied to by the Feds. He deserves a pardon, record expunged, and an opportunity. I see great potential, just needs an opportunity, believe in himself, and have the courage to escape his own prison of gold diggers, groupies, fans, and whores.

In this triad, it is a rags to riches story times three. There is only 1 TRUE VERSION of ME, and its right here in Memphis TN, age: 41(Birth Cert).

To succeed in any sports game, you must be fit, educated, content with yourself to include your pros/cons/demons and knowledgeable & intelligent enough to know that I am certified True OG, I got your back no matter what because to me money ain’t a thing, fame fades just like stars, but loyal dogs do not turn on their master unless they are abused or hungry. I am a Blue AKC Royal Bloodline Pitbull, Staffordshire Terrier. Pitbull is the image you need to have in your mind when you think of ME.

#donations #loyalty #888 #TRUMP2020 #IG #WHISTEBLOWER ACT #RULES #ESPNSPORTS #RAPGODS #GREEKGODS #GOD #CLASHOFTITANS #THEGAME #THEROCK #GLUE #DOCTORS   #LAWYERS #COWBOYS #DANCE #L.I.F.E. #LOVE #SM #EM 

#NEED SOME COM[ANY AND VITAMIN D

BLUE, COME ON UNLESS YOU ARE “CHICKEN” “SCARED”

I PROMISE I WILL NOT BITE. BUT, I AM STARVING, LONELY, NEED MONEY TO CREATE AND LAUNCH MY DREAMS TO POSITIVELY AND EFFECTIVELY CHANGE THE WORLD WHICH WILL PLACE ME AND PRESIDENT TRUMP IN THE HISTORY BOOKDS. AND THE HISTORY BOOKS ARE GOING TO BECOME FACTBOOKS, AND HISTORY CLASSES WILL BE MANDATORY THROUGHOUT LIFE REGARDLESS OF AGE, POSITION, JOB, FINANCIAL STATUS BECAUSE THE BEST EDUCATION IS A “CONTINUOUS EDUCATION”. IF YOU DO NOT CONTINUE LEARNING, YOU BECOME RUSTY AND THEN, YOU CANNOT KEEP UP THE FAST PACED CHANGES OF ADVANCE TECHNOLOGY IN THE REAL WORLD AND IN THE REAL GAME OF LIFE.

RECOMMENDATIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1.  DONATE MONEY TO MY CAUSE ON CASH APP 

$BLUEDOGBITEMAFIA888 

DO NOT HACK MY PHONE OR MY LAPTOP, DO NOT HACK ANYTHING OR ANYBODY BC YOU CANNOT DO IT BETTER THAN U.S. BC U.S. CREATED THE INTERNET IN WASHINGTON DC AT THE PENTAGON CALLED “DARPANET” IN 1974. THE FIRST COMPUTER WAS AN APPLE, SECOND COMPUTER WAS MICROSOFT. A GOOD BRAND IS A HP WITH MS WINDOWS. I HAVE A BLUE HP LAPTOP STREAM, I HAVE A BLACK APPLE IPHONE 7. I AM ON A WIFI WITH A VPN THAT KEEPS GETTING DISABLED. THE SOUND ON MY PHONE DOES NOT WORK. I AM BACKING UP BOTH DEVICES AND GOING TO RESET TO FACTORY SETTINGS SO I CAN GURANTEE EFFECTIVE DIGITAL SECURITY.

2. I NEED COMPANY TO SIT WITH ME, DRINK WITH ME. I WOULD LOVE SOME JACK AND COKE OR A BUD LIGHT. I WOULD ALSO LOVE SOME FOOD THAT CONTAINS RED MEAT TO ASSIST ME WITH MY BLOOD PROBLEMS. BUDDY OR BLUE OR YO -- FIGURE IT AND SEND ME SOMEONE I KNOW. I AM TOO PRETTY AND TOO COOL TO BE CHILLING BY MYSELF WITH NO FOOD, NO ALCOHOL, NO MONEY, NO WEED, ETC. 

3.  SELF EVALUATE OR DO A PEER REVIEW/. SELF EVALUATION IS LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND THINKING ABOUT YOUR LIFE. I LIKE TO WRITE THINGS DOWN, IF HELPS ME. IT WILL BRING ABOUT A SENSE OF UNDERSTANDING WHO, WHAT, WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, HOW YOU BECAME PERSON, AND DESIGN YOUR OWN ROADMAP TO BEING A BETTER PERSON AND OPENING YOUR HEART TO REALIZATION THAT THE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, RIGHT WE ARE THE WORLD, WE CAN ACHIEVE GREATNESS, A NEW TYPE OF MAGIC “UTOPIA”.

WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT? WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF? CAN YOU FREE YOUR MIND? CAN YOU OPEN YOUR HEARTS? CAN YOU COMMIT? DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? DO YOU HAVE CONFIDENCE? ARE YOU IN YOUR OWN PRISON--YOUR MIND, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

WISDOM COMES WITH TIME, EXPERIENCE, EDUCATION, HARD WORK, SERVICE, LOYALTY, PURPOSE, AND TRAVELING.

At the end of the day, who do you want to be with? 

Woman - Wise can deliver the world or drop the world, age 41 -- looks better than 20 & 30 year old GIRLS. Does not care about money, fame, status, power because the game was scheduled and unfortunately, unaware of the OP -- she walked, ran, sprinted STOLE the Flag, and won the game. 

Everyone wants to still run their mouths, try to control a man, and those hos, have no power, position, fame, etc. They are with or around you because of who you are, what you have done, and what you can give them---in my opinion that is abuse of power and targeting someone to manipulating them to do what you want them to do.

I like structure, things to be done a certain way because I like cleanliness, organization, faith, love, hope, trust, and loyalty. 

I would not cop an attitude with everyone, if  I did not feel like the world was against me. Hint, hint -- I don’t trust authority figures because I was molested, abused, targeted, almost died several times, lied to, cheated on, setups, smear campaigns, gossiped about, bullied, beat on, yelled at, called names, jealous women everywhere so dumb they forget I have a hunger against Human  Trafficking. People are on this RACISM BULL SHIT. 

Its 2020, Racism = IGNORANCE AND IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS ANYMORE, IGNORANCE IS DEADLY. 

Basic belief system of Karma, it is a metaphysical/paranormal reality that is mixed with real, artificial, and soon-to-be virtual reality. It is what it is. 

What you set your mind, what you do and the thoughts and actions you put into the world will either grant you your dreams or come back times three by the of karma, what goes around, comes around.

I want/will do good and be a good role model for everyone. I am going to teach, help you, do what I want, when I want, how I want because I know my worth, my value, and what I can GURANTEE/DELIVER.

Greed, jealousy, laziness, and all the ugly things that are in the world

                                                  WILL

 get you no where but hungry, lonely but free, penniless, candy-less, eliminate sports.

                                        COMMIT OR QUIT

MY MISSION WILL ENDURE AND CARRY ON UNTIL I FEEL MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I DO NOT HAVE A FAILURE TO THRIVE AND I DO NOT LACK A WILL TO LIVE. 

MY ISNT OVER, YET;

[vitosscaletta]

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓 Christian, Helena, Gina, Georgie, and Aaliyah!!!

THANK U!!!! sorry this is so late :(

CHRISTIAN

IDK if I ever said this but his whole mansion in Bel Air is modeled after the interior in Versailles - still modern but with STRONG Baroque vibes

His favorite european city - besides Versailles of course - is Venice 😳 he lived there for some time in the 18th century and loved it there... he misses it a lot

He has a ghoul.... his name is Claude, the only living descendant of his favorite sister :(( Christian tracked him down in the early 1900s in Paris and eventually offered him to embrace him, but Claude was like nah... I wanna see the sunlight dude. They’re still living together in Bel Air since they’re the only family they have left :0 

Hangs out in LA nightclubs a lot - not the goth ones we see in the game.. the sexy ones where rich people hang out, he mostly feeds from them there.. slurp slurp!

Can speak english, french, italian, german and a few words in latin.. op king. being that old gives you time to learn languages ig

Went into an overdramatic state of fake depression after Helena dumped him.. didn’t leave his mansion at all, just hung around in his room, not eating (... drinking blood..), moping and talking about killing himself bc Toreadors are fucked up. Claude is like.. get up dude -_-

HELENA

I also dont know if I ever said this but even though shes not the fledgling.. Heather is still her ghoul (she was in the santa monica clinic to get somehting done for la croy and yeah).. she regrets it because Heather is soooo annoying and does all of this shit for her like calling her her master and all that and it’s just so uncomfortable. Especially when she offers her her student loans. Helena is like “oh my god I can’t take this what the fuck?????????? this is yours. okay you know what.. if you insist.. i will take it 😏”

She doesn’t have the heart to kick her out though.. mostly because Helena misses having a roommate :c

The only people who were genuinely sad about her death are her mom and sister jhdsjhds.. the fake rich friends she had before her embrace didn’t really give a fuck about her until they realized they could get attention through it & started posting sob stories on myspace. Helena is mad about it.. those hoes treated her like a third wheel when she was alive 😤

she probably ends up “accidentally” telling her family she’s alive.. 

what annoys her the most about her death isn’t even the fact that she was killed.. it’s the fact that she didn’t die in a beautiful way, she was just some random nobody with no friends or fame who may have been killed by her boyfriend (except that the official story is that she never arrived at his house). Christian couldn’t have waited until she was an established actress so it could have been more poetic, nah he had to embrace her when nobody cared :((

She liked Christian’s Bel Air mansion but honestly?? her weird old apartment was still better - it wasn’t big and the furniture was a mess but it was still her home

GINA

Grew up with a single mother because her father died early in an accident... he was a construction worker or something :c her mom worked as a maid for a rich family until she got fired for stealing from them jdfkjsd

gets to rapture by assuming some rich girl’s identity. idk how she does that but.. somehow she does. Of course nobody knows about that, it’s her big secret ���� to the other rapture residents she’s just a rich heiress who acts a little different from New York’s high society because she lived abroad

she dislikes Rapture’s upper class for living so large when the poor have nothing just like she had nothing growing up.. doesn’t do much about it though..  Gina: *donates like a tiny amount of her wealth to an orphanage* wow helping people feels so good :)

Doesn’t have any real friends in rapture either except maybe Diane.. ironically because she thinks everyone else is fake 🙄

She didn’t like F*ntaine AT ALL because she thought he looked creepy but also because the Bronx accent scared her.. she’s really paranoid that he might have run into her while she was still living there and remembers her even though that’s soooo unlikely 😒 every time they’re in the same elevator together she turns away and pretends to look for something in her handbag

The civil war is just the worst for her bc she doesn’t want to align with the rebels they’re all freaks but there’s also no way in hell she’ll be on Andy Ryan’s side.. she’s just like *reluctantly joins rebels because she thinks its the winning team and because she thinks A**** is hot and doesn’t realize its the same guy she hid from at parties* *doesn’t do shit* 

GEORGIE

has a weird relationship with her mom... she died when she was very very young and Georgie really doesn’t remember much about her - almost everything she knows is from her father reminiscing about how beautiful and loving she was but that’s not.. true.. its just how he remembers her, in reality she was a very cold & narcissistic person. she’ll never know the truth though :/

does NOT care about any politician or noble whatsoever but had a soft spot for Jessamine mostly because she made a friendly impression on her (from what she’s seen on posters and all that stuff).. Georgie liked to imagine she wanted to make things better for people like her. (the heart when pointed at Georgie: this bitch digs through garbage cans. freak.)

has little pots with flowers all over her little clinic in the distillery district, it adds a little life to her weird looking little home and makes it look even more goth-ish because they’re all dried out :/

is one of those people who are pretentious about drinking tea

has a weird rivalry with dr Galvani that he doesn’t know about 😒 her clinic is near his home and she's mad jealous of him, this dude has money to fund his research and expensive tools and what does he do with it?? dissect fucking rats? (she heard about it from Granny Rags and yeah she believes everything she says).. she’s out there calling him an idiot, meanwhile Galvani doesn’t even know she even exists

used to be a pickpocket as a kid.. mostly when her dad didn’t make enough money, she still got into trouble for it most of the time though and stopped when she got older -_- its ok though because she got to steal family heirlooms at the Boyle mansion during their masquerades because one of the sisters called her ugly

AALIYAH

unlike the game wants you to believe she’s from Nevarra City rather than Ostwick 😳 the youngest of 5 siblings and the only mage in the family - since Nevarra is pretty chill about magic and has no circles, she grew up without the whole oppression thing that’s going on in the rest of thedas, thus all this templar shit is nonsense to her. We’re fine back home, thank you! Your mages are just fucked up because you put them in prisons!

She was supposed to become a Mortalitasi and have a pretty powerful position in the Nevarran court until idk something political that involved the chantry in one way or another happened and she got shipped off to ferelden’s circle (post blight duh). She managed to escape after a few weeks in its weakened state and joined the mage underground - she never really was a circle mage like in the game 🙄

She and a group of other mages she was friends with were supposed to go to the conclave together to.. vote for mage rights but you know what happened! Also you know this excerpt from a very angry person’s journal you can find in the fade? that was from her best friend who died in the explosion :c She still misses her a lot

The only people she’s close to within the inquisition are Sera, Varric and Dorian.. the rest are either more acquaintances or outright hate her (especially Vivienne.. i love her but BOY did they not get along).. She likes the advisors a little more, Josie is cool they’re not like bffs or anything but they like each other.. Leliana and her got along soooo well I think they were really good friends. Cullen was.. unfortunately her boyfriend but they also hated each other in the beginning. more on that later

The worst thing for her was the attack on Haven it fucked her up sooooo bad :c All those innocent people she wanted to protect dying, she tried her best to save them but it was still too late for some of them despite her best efforts.. it just really messes with her and she hates thinking about it.. she actually tried to run off on one occasion after that 😳

Feels sooo weird about the fact that she’s nevarran because on one hand that’s her home and she’s proud of it!!! on the other hand everyone acts like she’s the biggest freak bc they think she was in a death cult or something and she HATES it :((

[cottagethings]

self-quarantine activities

1. Complete a puzzle: The more pieces the better! Feeling extra saucy? Take on a Rubik's Cube. More of a word person? Crossword puzzle!

2. Start a journal or blog. Sure, it can be about the coronavirus, but it could also be about a specific interest from chess to cheese. 

3. If it won't bother your neighbors: Dust off that old instrument and practice.

4. Text all your exes just in case you have one more thing you wanted to get off your chest.

5. Write poetry. Perhaps you can craft a haiku for Mother's Day, or something without a specific structure. Just try it!

6. Watch all the really long movies you’ve avoided until now.

7. Download Duolingo, or a similar app, and teach yourself a foreign language.

8. Finally read “Infinite Jest,” “Les Miserables” or even “The Stand.” Go all in and read “Ulysses.” You got this. 

9. Meditate. Try lying down with your eyes closed, palms up and while focusing on your breath. Or spend 20 minutes sitting crosslegged and repeat a soothing word to yourself in your head. (The latter is more like transcendental meditation.)

10. Face masks, moisturizer, oh my! Treat yourself to a 10-step skin care routine you don’t have time for during a normal work week.

11. Look at pictures of puppies.

12. Put together the most attractive charcuterie board possible, but you can only use foods you already have in your fridge and cupboard.

13. Take note from "Tangled" star Rapunzel, who has an entire song about how she's spent her days alone in a castle. Activities included in her ditty: Ventriloquy, candle-making, papier-mâché and adding a new painting to her gallery.

14. Write actual letters to family and friends. After that? Write thank-you notes to service people who you remember went out of their way for you.

15. Learn calligraphy. YouTube can help.

16. Finally read the rules to those long and intense board games you've never played with the family. Encourage the family to play.

17. Put on a soap opera. Mute the sound. Create your own dialogue.

18. Have a space in your home where all of the tupperware goes? Organize it and actually match lids to containers.

19. Try on all your clothes and determine whether they “spark joy” á la Marie Kondo.

20. Better yet, go through this process with your junk drawer and supply shelves. 

21. Have a roommate meeting about how to be more considerate of one other, especially while you will likely be spending more time together. Bring baked goods.

22. Bake those goods.

23. Watch the films that won Oscars for best picture.

24. Watch films that won Independent Spirit Awards for best picture. 

25. Watch films that critics say should have won those aforementioned awards.

26. Read all the New Yorker issues piled on your desk.

27. Will Tom Hanks into recovery from coronavirus by watching every Tom Hanks movie chronologically. 

28. Knit or crochet.

29. Use Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts or Marco Polo to video chat with your long-distance friends.

30. Try out at-home aerobics or yoga videos. Consider downloading a fitness app with curated workout playlists.

31. Look at yourself in the mirror. Attempt a self portrait with pencil and paper.

32. Take a bubble bath (bonus: Add a glass of wine).

33. Make a classic cocktail, from negronis to Manhattans and aperol spritzes. Don't forget the garnish.

34. Coloring books: They’re not just for kids.

35. Take time to reflect: What have you accomplished in the last year? What goals are you setting for yourself in the next year?

36. Write a short story or get started on that novel.

37. Actually try to reproduce something you see on Pinterest. Probably fail. Try again.

38. Clear out the family room and camp indoors with all blankets, popcorn and scary movies.

39. Finally get around to fixing that broken door knob and loose tile or cleaning scuffed up walls. 

40. Acquire a foam roller and treat yourself to some physical therapy. 

41. Pretend you're 13 years old and fold a square piece of paper into a fortune teller you put your thumbs and pointer fingers into. Proceed to tell fortunes. 

42. Learn how to braid (fishtail, French, etc.) via YouTube tutorial..

43. Throw out all your too-old makeup and products. (Tip: most liquid products have a small symbol on them noting expirations, usually six months to a year. This includes sunscreen!)

44. Interview your grandparents (over the phone, of course) and save the audio. Can you create an audio story or book with that file?

45. Go through your camera roll, pick your favorite pics from the past year and make a photo book or order framed versions online. 

46. Go on a health kick and learn how to cook new recipes with ingredients you may not be using already, from miso to tahini.

47. Create a Google document of shows or movies you’re watching and share it among family and friends.

48. Make a list of things for which you are grateful. 

49. Have your own wine tasting of whatever bottles you have at home. Make up stories about the journey of the grapes to your mouth.

50. Work on your financial planning, such as exploring whether to refinance your loan or ways to save more money. 

51. Perfect grandma’s bolognese recipe.

52. Make coffee, but this time study how many beans you use, which types, how hot the water is, how long it brews and whether any of that makes a difference.

53. Buy gift cards from your favorite local businesses to help keep them in business while we quarantine.

54. Watch “Frozen 2,’ which went up early on Disney Plus. Another new movie on the streaming service: "Stargirl." 

55. Write a book with your family. Pick a character and each member writes a chapter about their adventures. Read aloud to each other. 

56. No March Madness? Have a Scrabble tournament. Or Bananagrams. Pictionary, anyone?

57. Get into baking with "The Great British Baking Show," but your technical challenge is baking something with the ingredients you have on hand (that you didn't already use in the charcuterie board).

58. Indoor scavenger hunt.

59. Alternate reading the Harry Potter series with your kids and cap each one off with the movie.

60. Dye your hair a new color. No one else needs to see it if you don't like it.

61. Read Robert Jordan’s 14-book “Wheel of Time” series before it streams on Amazon starring Rosamund Pike. 

62. Write a play starring your loved ones. Perform it via a video call app. 

63. Go viral in the good way by making a quarantine-themed TikTok.

64. Rearrange your sock drawer. Really.

65. Stop procrastinating and do your income taxes.

66. Make lists of all the museums, sporting events and concerts you want to visit when they finally reopen.

67. Get into comics with digital subscriptions on your tablet, like Marvel Unlimited. 

68. Rearrange your furniture to make it seem like your home is a totally different space. 

69. Practice shuffling playing cards like a Poker dealer. Be ready for employment opportunities once all casinos open back up.

70. Organize your spice rack alphabetically or get crazy and do it by cuisine.

71. Teach your dog to shake. Hand sanitizer optional.

72. Memorize the periodic table. You never know when that will come in handy.

73. Order and put together some IKEA furniture. Time yourself.

74. Get a free trial of a streaming service and binge-watch as much as you can before it expires. 

75. Apply for a new job. You have remote work experience now. 

76. Learn a new style of dance via YouTube, from bellydancing to breaking.

77. Update or write your will and organize your affairs. Yes, it sounds melodramatic and morbid but let’s face it: This is a task many of us avoid because we never have the time. Now we do.

78.The parades have been canceled but you can still make corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick’s Day.

79. Bring out the Legos. Build your house inside of your house.

80. Watch the "Star Wars" movies in this and only this order: Rogue One-IV-V-II-III-Solo-VI-VII-VIII-IX.

81. Two words: Coronavirus beard! Grow it, moisturize it, comb it, love it.

82.  Learn the words to "Tung Twista." Get them so ingrained in your brain that you can rap them as fast as Twista can. Impress everyone. 

83. Been meaning to get some new glasses? Try on new frames virtually on sites like GlassesUSA.com.

84. Attempt things with your non-dominant hand, from writing to brushing your teeth. Prepare to be frustrated.

85. How many words per minute can you type? See if you can get speedier by taking a typing course.

86. Prepare to verbally duel a bully who wants to discuss the evolution of the market economy in the Southern colonies, by memorizing Matt Damon's "Good Will Hunting" speech. 

87. Learn origami. Make cranes for your loved ones.

88. Stretch. Work on your flexibility. It's possible to get the splits back, right?

89. Try to speak in pig Latin. Or, "ig-pay, atin-Lay."

90. Talk to your plants. How are they doing? Make sure they are getting the amount of sunlight they should be. Check their soil. Water if necessary.

91. Deep condition your hair and put paraffin wax on your hands. Enjoy your soft hair and nails.

92. Consider donating money to food banks to help families struggling to get meals.

93. Write a song. If you want to make it about your time inside and put it to the tune of "My Sharona" and replace "Sharona" with "Corona," do what you have to do.

94. Study the art of beatboxing.

95. Try moving in super-slow motion. It's OK to laugh at regular speed.

96. You know how there are dozens of ways to wear a scarf, but you only wear it the one way? Learn the other ways.

97. Learn Old English words. Pepper them into your conversation. Wherefore not?

98. Try on a new shade of lipstick. See how long it takes your partner to notice it.

99. Take deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

100. Sleep. Get lots of it.

[teamfreewill-imagine]

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Twenty-Four

Summary: You finally come to terms with what happened with your mom, and you make the move to Vancouver Jared x Reader x Gen, Jensen, Danneel, JJ, Arrow, Zep, Tom, Shep, Briana Words: 2.8k Warnings: angst, emotional hurt/comfort Beta: @blacksiren

I Know Your Wife - Masterpost

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You made dinner for Jared and Genevieve that night as planned.

The original plan hadn’t involved cooking for the boys and the Ackles’ as well, but you didn’t let that stop you.

Around the dinner table, with eight of you enjoying the vegetable lasagna that Jared had taught you to make while Danneel sorted out the twins with their baby food, you found yourself overwhelmed by love for your family.

You put down your fork before throwing your arm over JJ’s shoulders, placing a kiss to the top of her head where she sat beside you.

“Ditto,” she laughed, pushing you back. “Wassat for?”

“I just love you guys,” you shrugged, looking across at Gen and smiling softly. “Y’all are my family.”

“We love you,” Danneel smiled as she continued to feed the twins. “You’re one of us, you always were.”

“No getting out now,” Jensen joked, and you laughed softly.

You shot a glance at Jared, finding him watching you with a fond smile.

“What?” you asked, and he shrugged, looking down at his plate.

“It’s nice,” he mumbled, “To see you happy.”

You smiled, a blush rising on your cheeks as you felt everyone watching you.

“Well, get used to it,” you cleared your throat, looking around at each of the kids before meeting Jared’s eye again, “Happy Y/N is here to stay.”

The kids were asleep in JJ’s room and Gen was brushing her teeth in the bathroom when you crawled into bed beside Jared.

“Happy birthday, babe,” you murmured, kissing him firmly.

He smiled against your lips, his hands finding your hips under the covers and rolling the two of you onto your sides.

“So you don’t mind that I’m old?” he clarified, pushing your hair from your shoulder.

“Not old,” you reminded him, kissing him again, “Experienced.”

He sighed contentedly into the kiss and your hand slipped from his chest, over his hips, down to the curve of his ass as you pulled him closer.

You slotted one of your legs between his, grinding against him as he deepened the kiss.

“I only left you alone for like three seconds, I swear,” Gen teased, shutting the door behind her on her way back into your room.

“In my defence,” you murmured, pulling away from the kiss to look over your shoulder at her, “You guys had all day together. I’ve only just got a chance to give Jared the good part of his present.”

Gen hummed in understanding, getting into bed behind you and resting a hand on your hip, encouraging you onto your back.

“I wasn’t sure you’d be up to it,” she murmured.

You frowned as Jared shifted so the two of them were looking down at you.

“I’m fine,” you told them, clearing your throat as you realised she was talking about the issue with your birth mom.

You’d blocked that part of your day from your mind, determined to enjoy the evening with your chosen family.

And it had worked; you hadn’t thought about her once until Gen brought it up.

“Y/N,” Jared mumbled, and you shook your head.

“Just kiss me,” you told him, carding your fingers into his hair and pulling him down into a kiss.

He pulled back as you tried to deepen it, making you groan in frustration.

“I’m fine,” you insisted, feeling unwanted emotion start to close your throat.

“You’ve had a rough day,” Jared murmured, and you let out a small scoff.

“I’ve had worse, believe me,” you assured them, trying to get him to kiss you again.

“Sweetheart, that’s not…” Gen sighed, gently pushing your hair from your forehead, “Just because you’ve had worse doesn’t mean you’re fine.”

You swallowed, breathing sharply to try and keep your emotions in check.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, changing tact and pulling her into a kiss.

She went with it, her lips soft and pliant as she let you lead, keeping it chaste as you tried to deepen the kiss.

She was treating you like you were fragile, like you might break at any moment if she pushed too hard or said the wrong thing.

You were trying to hide your emotions and get lost in the moment, but they weren’t making it easy.

You pulled back, the two of them looking at you with concern.

“Please,” you breathed, closing your eyes as you felt the familiar prickle of tears forming. “Please.”

“You can’t drown your emotions in sex, baby,” Jared whispered, and you shook your head.

“You can talk to us,” Gen prompted. “We won’t judge you.”

“I don’t-” you inhaled sharply, your chin starting to quiver. “I don’t want to.”

“That’s okay,” Jared murmured as Gen shifted beside you, throwing her arm over your bump and pressing a kiss to your neck.

“You don’t have to talk,” she told you, “But we know something’s up, so we’re not gonna have sex tonight.”

“Nothing’s up,” you lied, knowing the pain was evident in your tone, “I’m- I’m-”

You couldn’t continue as an involuntary sob left your lips.

You’d been fine until you let yourself think about what had happened, about what you’d let yourself remember after years of suppressing it, but now you couldn’t hold back.

Everything she said, everything you remembered, every emotion you hadn’t let yourself feel came to the surface at once, shaking your body with intense sobs.

“Hey,” Jared murmured, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay.”

You tried to speak but it came out as unintelligible cries, and you brought your hands up to cover your face as you tried to calm yourself down.

“Take your time, sweetheart,” Gen murmured, and you nodded, taking a deep breath to try and relax your thumping heart.

“I lost my mom,” you repeated, clearer this time despite the fact that you kept your hands over your face, “My only family.”

“Y/N, that woman was never your family,” Gen told you, taking one of your hands and linking your fingers with her own. “Your real family is in this house.”

“Every single person in this house loves you,” Jared reiterated. “You might’ve lost one person but you gained nine.”

You nodded, taking a shaky breath.

“I know,” you sniffed, “But-”

You bit your lip, determined not to sob again.

“I always thought we’d make up,” you admitted quietly, closing your eyes so you didn’t have to look at them. “I thought she’d apologise and I’d be able to share my life with her, but she doesn’t think she needs to apologise.”

You opened your eyes in time to see them share a questioning glance.

You knew they were confused, you knew that they knew less than half of the real story with your mom, but you just weren’t ready to open up yet.

“I know, I know I have a family here,” you agreed, resting your head back into the pillows, “But I don’t have any blood relatives anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Gen murmured, and you shook your head.

“I’ve been adopted. Jensen’s getting a restraining order against my birth mom from all of us,” you sniffed, “And I pretty much told her to go fuck herself.”

“Not your birth mom,” Gen told you, her hand that wasn’t holding yours finding your bump, “Your baby.”

“This baby is your blood,” Jared agreed, his hand joining Gen’s as he kissed you softly. “A new life. Fresh start.”

“You have a family that loves you,” Gen murmured, squeezing your hand, “You have parents that would die for you, a little sister that thinks you’re a superhero, and twin babies that will grow up only ever knowing you as family. There are two little boys down the hall that haven’t stopped telling us how much they love you since they met you. There are two people beside you right now that love every part of you, even the parts we haven’t got to know yet. And there is a baby inside of you that is dependent on you and will love you unconditionally.”

You nodded, blinking away tears that were desperate to fall as her words sunk in.

“This baby is the only blood relative that matters,” she continued, and you nodded again, finally letting yourself cry without holding back.

Jared gently rolled you onto your side, fitting his chest to your back and wrapping his arm around your waist as you continued to cry, allowing yourself to hurt; to mourn, in some ways, the final loss of your birth mother.

Gen carded her fingers into your hair, letting you bury your face in her neck as you sniffed and shook with long-repressed sobs.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, kissing the top of your head. “Let it out, sweetie.”

You cried until there were no tears left, falling asleep with Jared and Genevieve holding you, surrounded by love and family.

You all stayed at the Ackles house until you moved up to Vancouver with the Padaleckis the weekend after Jared’s birthday.

Jensen stayed back in Austin, setting up the restraining order before he was needed on set in early August.

That was another benefit of the adoption; Jensen could file the order for his whole family, yourself and your unborn child included, and you didn’t need to be there to see it through.

The five of you were living in a hotel for the first week back in Canada, giving you time to look around all of the properties on your list.

Unsurprisingly, the two-floor, four bedroom house was the obvious winner, so by the end of the week you’d placed a deposit.

Without your knowledge, Jared and Gen had collected donations from your friends and castmates to help you renovate, so as soon as you moved in you were able to start fixing up the place.

Jared ripped out most of the bathroom fixtures over the weekend, and you and Gen took the boys to IKEA on Monday so he could oversee the new fitting, seeing as you had no idea about plumbing to give any kind of useful input there.

It was strange, looking at furnishings for your own house.

You didn’t need anything fancy, you just wanted to kit out your home and make it liveable, but there were so many options that it was pretty overwhelming.

“What kind of glasses do I need?” you asked Gen, standing in the middle of all of your choices with no idea what to pick.

She laughed softly, pushing the stroller over to you, Shep strapped in and Tom holding the side so they didn’t run into any of the fragile tableware.

“You’re gonna need some stuff that doesn’t look cheap,” she told you, and you frowned.

“We’re in IKEA because of the affordability in here,” you reminded her, and she nodded.

“I know that,” she agreed, “But we’ve gotta avoid it looking cheap because if you post anything on instagram they’ll call you out on it.”

You nodded, surveying the options.

“Avoid anything with colour in it,” she explained, “Classic clear glass looks more expensive even if it’s not.”

You sighed, running a hand over your bump.

“This is more complicated than I anticipated,” you admitted, and she smiled sympathetically.

“Shopping is never as fun as it sounds.”

Gen had taken the boys to pick out things for their room and left you in the nursery section on your own.

You didn’t even know what theme you were going with or what colours to choose, and the more you looked, the more you realised you didn’t know what you were doing.

“What’s up, hot mama?”

A grin found it’s way onto your face as you turned to see Briana walking towards you, her arms reaching out for you.

You left your cart and stepped into her hug, squeezing her tight.

“You’re super pregnant,” she laughed as she pulled back, looking down at your bump.

“That’s why I’m looking at baby stuff,” you shrugged, resting a hand on your stomach. “What’re you doing here?”

“Your girlfriend texted me,” she grinned, “Told me you were getting a little overwhelmed with all the decisions and I wasn’t busy so… here I am.”

You nodded, motioning to the different cots and cribs set up around the room.

“This really isn’t my forté,” you admitted. “We haven’t even talked about a colour scheme.”

“You can’t go wrong with a white crib,” she told you, “That way you can keep it white and chic or easily paint it when you decide on the colours.”

You sighed, laughing softly.

“I’m not good at this mom stuff.”

“Girl, neither was I,” she assured you, “But you’ll pick up on stuff as you go along.”

“I sure hope so,” you murmured, and she grinned, throwing her arm around your shoulder and leading you over to a white cot with drawers built in underneath.

“You will,” she promised, bending down and opening one of the drawers. “Okay, so this has built in storage for cute baby pyjamas. Practicalities like that are gonna be a godsend.”

“What would I do without you?” you asked, noting down the name of the cot so you could pick it up in the warehouse.

“Crash and burn,” she grinned, standing back up again. “I’m paying for this.”

You frowned, shaking your head.

“You’ve already helped out with the renovation fund,” you reminded her.

“And I’m getting the cot and mattress for Baby Ditto,” she smiled, patting your bump as the two of you went back towards your cart. “No arguments, missy.”

You hip checked her affectionately, moving your cart out of the way of another shopper with an apologetic smile.

She smiled back at you, nodding to your bump.

“First baby?” she guessed, and you blushed.

“Yeah,” you confirmed, and she winked at you.

“You two are in for a lot of sleepless nights,” she commented, and you let out a surprised laugh.

“Oh, no, we’re not-”

“I’ve already got a daughter with my husband,” Briana told her, “This one’s expecting with her partner.”

The woman blushed, stammering an apology, but Briana laughed it off.

“No worries,” she grinned, “I’m flattered you think I could pull this sweet young thing.”

That wasn’t the only time you and Briana were confused for a couple that day.

It happened again while you were looking at toys (though, they couldn’t be blamed while Briana spoke directly to your bump as she held up different plushies and asked which ones Baby Ditto would prefer), and once more just before you paid for everything.

You had met up with Gen in the warehouse, and she had asked you to keep an eye on Tom and Shep while she went to the bathroom.

Briana pushed the cart while you took over the stroller, Tom walking beside you.

“I’m gonna get you boys some ice cream when we’re done,” you told them, ruffling Tom’s hair. “You’ve been very patient and I appreciate it.”

“This is important for our new house,” Tom smiled up at you as he took your hand. “I don’t mind.”

You smiled, looking up as an onlooker ‘aww’ed.

“Such a polite boy,” the woman commented, and you nodded, squeezing his hand.

“He’s a good one, that’s for sure,” you agreed as she crouched in front of the stroller, smiling at the boys before looking up at you and Briana.

“Two boys, another baby on the way,” she smiled, “You ladies are blessed to have such a beautiful family.”

You laughed slightly, amused that so many people had made that assumption.

“Actually, we’re-”

“Super excited for the new addition,” Briana interrupted, putting her arm around your shoulders and resting her hand on your bump. “We can’t wait for our little family to be complete.”

The woman smiled, standing up and shaking Tom’s hand.

“Make sure you look after your moms, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he agreed, not even questioning the assumption.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it,” she told you, and you smiled.

“It was nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she smiled as she left to find whatever she was in for.

Briana laughed as soon as she was out of earshot, letting you go.

“Thanks for playing along, kiddo,” she told Tom. “You guys definitely get ice cream.”

Tom shook his head, squeezing your hand.

“I do kinda have two moms,” he shrugged. “An’ I am gonna look after you and mama.”

Your heart swelled with love as you looked down at him, squeezing back and trying not to cry as Gen came back over.

“Thanks, girls,” she told you, running her hand through Shep’s hair and smiling at Tom. “Hope they were good?”

“We were,” Shep told her. “We’re gettin’ ice cream.”

Gen laughed, pinching his cheek.

“They were stars,” Briana agreed, pushing the cart towards the checkout, “So we’re all gonna get ice cream and we’re not telling Jared that we let Y/N get some, too.”

You laughed, letting Gen push the stroller as you followed behind with Tom.

“I love you, kiddo,” you told him quietly, and he smiled again, moving a little closer to you.

“I love you, too.”

tags are closed because this always takes me 20 years

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #297

“crushed, damned, and broken; lost, sick, and left unspoken.”

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school when I made an anatomically correct heart. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore it. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What's the scariest story/urban legend/creepypasta etc you heard? Maaaan, as a cryptic fanatic, that's hard. Maybe the Rake. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're some resilient motherfuckers. What is your favorite soda? Well, it's technically strawberry Sunkist, but I do NOT let myself have it because I will fucking chug it and binge on them if available to me. So, I just consider Mountain Dew Voltage my fave. When you're on the beach, do you throw beached sea creatures back? I've never even seen a beached animal. I would, though. Have you ever thrown food at someone? Yeah, small food fights as a kid or joking with a friend. Have you ever been to a bonfire? Yeah. Do you like orangutans? I love them; such fascinating, enchanting animals that act more human than people half the time. When you see a bug flipped on his back, what do you do? It depends on what it is, but I usually try to help it. Is cereal good? Yeah, I love cereal. Do you like spaghetti? Love it. It was my favorite food as a kid. Is there any kind of weapon in your bedroom? No. Do you like snow globes? I love 'em! Be honest, did Fifty Shades of Grey arouse you in any way? I didn't read it and never will. What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt" or "(little/big) sister." Do you have any close friends that are the opposite sex that your significant other dislikes? N/A Do you honestly believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not? Nope, because I want you to explain to me why a child dies of cancer. Why the 11-year-old was raped and forced to bear the child. Why a partner is beaten to death by their s/o, etc. etc. Things just... happen. Do you believe in reincarnation? Why or why not? No, mostly; I DO kinda wonder about it, I just find it unlikely. It would be kinda poetic, though: being given the chance to experience so many unique things. But, I kinda want a conclusion to my mortal life. The Hunger Games or The Maze Runner? I read the first HG and loved it; I started the latter novel while I was in the psych hospital for a while, but I never finished it or got that far in. It did sound pretty good, though. Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Well, they believe(d) in tarot readings; does that count? Idk. Did/do you believe them? I wouldn't. Is anything annoying you right now? "Annoyed" is a fucking understatement when it comes to what transpired at the capitol a few days back. Have you ever been ice-skating? No. Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? It can, depending on how heavy it is. Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? Albino, no, but I knew a guy and his sister in high school who had vitiligo. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah, at the ER and hospital. Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? I don't believe so. What would you say is your strongest felt emotion right now? Rage. I'm not over "the event." I'm just tired of humanity. Are you talking to anyone at the moment? No. Do you have trust issues? Oh yes. Have you ever found an arrow head? No. Who is with you? My mom's home. What can you not stop thinking about? *points upwards* Then there's Jason because PTSD, that's very normal. Do you forgive easily? I forgive very easily, honestly. In what part of your life so far, have you learned the most about yourself? 2017, when recovery began. I think... or maybe 2018, idk. I've truly come to discover myself quite a lot the past few years. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. Are your ears pierced? Yeah: my earlobes twice, and then my right tragus has a stud. I want to get my others back... I had to take them all out in the psych hospital, and a lot of my piercings closed up. The only one I don't wanna re-do is my anti-tragus, because mine was *always* inflammed and aggravated. What did you last say out loud? "Okay" to Mom. What are you waiting on? Right now, an opportunity to go to the parlor I'm getting my tat tidied up at to get a price range on it. They just need to be open while we're out of the house. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? Not really. Are your feelings hurt easily? Yep. What's the most expensive piece of clothing you have? Did you buy it yourself? I dunno... I very rarely get new clothes, nevermind expensive ones. Who is your closest platonic friend of the opposite sex? His nickname is Girt. He's been my best male friend since high school; we even hang out sometimes, but it's been a long while. How do you think your first relationship shaped who you are as a partner now? As a partner, it taught me to not fall head over heels and love more realistically and in a healthy fashion. I don't put my faith solely into them, but myself, too. I also accept "forever" is not always true just because they promise it. Who is your favorite protagonist of the same sex? Oh god, this is hard. I suppose maybe Tyrande Whisperwind from WoW. I love her dedication to her people and that her story has become more interesting in her finally "breaking." I could list so, so many "faves," tbh. Were you popular in high school? What was your reputation like? No; I was just the average teen. Have you always known your sexual orientation or did something happen to make you realize it? Somethings happened. There were a lot of hints building up before I even began to consider the possibility, but a daydream solidified it as fact. What was the hardest part of your last break up? Realizing I still wasn't "ready" or "fit" for a successful relationship. What brought you out of the hardest period in your life? As strange as it sounds, my suicide attempt put it into action. I was obviously hospitalized for a while, and then I was brought into a month-long partial hospitalization program that has a fucking genius psychiatrist, and I also had daily therapy as long as school days during the week. It was the intense help I needed. What's your favorite kind of smiley face? (: Does anybody know your deepest darkest secret? My old therapist and maybe my mom; I can't remember if I told her. Did you ever watch Rugrats? (the babies) I LOVED that show! I even had two of the video games. What about Hey Arnold? Ugh, I hated it, but I think my little sister did, or we just watched it if we couldn't find anything else. Do you like pep rallies? NO. NO. NO. My teachers always understood that they really stoked my anxiety and allowed me to opt out of going. I'd just stay in the classroom and read or something. Have you ever had pneumonia? No. What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you? I fear anesthesia awareness, but not to a debilitating degree or anything that makes me panic beforehand or anything like that. Do you play Minecraft? if so, feelings about servers? Never have, and not interested. Do you read creepypastas? Nah. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? It seems awkward as FUCK to me. Even alone. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No. What social class would you say you're in? I think we're actually near the poverty line (or were, idk anymore, Mom slipped it before), so definitely lower. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. How do you feel about guns? They scare me. What's the most traumatizing event that ever happened to you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup while being madly in love to the point of obsession with the person. Are you faint to the sight of blood? No. Do you like spicy food? Yes. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? Well, considering I was woken up by myself shrieking my lungs out this morning, guess. It seemed for a little bit that my nightmares were chilling out, but I guess not. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? Does my mother telling me I'm saying too many "f-bombs" count? I dunno otherwise. What’s your second favorite color? Maroon. Do you ever wish you lived in a different country? Hey Canada, mind adopting me? Who’s the last person you “pounded” fists with? Ha, I think my nephew. Have you ever been involved in an affair? No. Wait, maybe? Does the Joel thing count? We never even physically met each other, we were just being idiot kids flirting over text messages. You be the judge, ig. How many times a week do you speak to your boss? I don’t have a job. What do you want for your birthday? Just donate to my tattoo fund lmao. Having to get my laptop fixed fucked up my plans yet again... Have you ever been to a masquerade? No. Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? A handful, yeah. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Just Sara does. Anything you’re avoiding? Always. After breaking up, what’s the worst? Letting go if you're the one who still has feelings. Does your sibling have a significant other? I don't know if my brother does, or the half-sister I've never met. Another sister is engaged, and two are married. Nicole is single, though. She's smart as hell about who she dates; she's probably pickier than me. Do you use Skype? Just to talk with Sara. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? I wouldn't wear them, but they look fine on some people. Except when they're square shaped. Name one happy song that describes you better than any other. "Get Up" by Mother Mother comes to me first. Name one sad/mellow song that describes you better than any other. Haha I connect with a lot of sad songs and would honestly rather not dig through 'em right now. What is your most used pick up line? None, they're all awful. Do you like the taste of alcohol? Noooooo no no. The only alcoholic drinks I like are very weak and sweet. What kinds of food make you sick? So this probably sounds so stupid, but "fancy" foods, like stuff with a lot of ingredients my body isn't used to, I guess. My stomach is very finicky with foods, so it's easy to make this list.

[onesevennine]

WHOLE WOMANS HEALTH Fort Worth, Texas November 2017

The mural site is one of 2 fences that run along the perimeter of the building facing the parking lot, visible from the main road. It’s 8’ tall and 8-12’ wide. 

The mural will serve to comfort women and embodies the values and messages critical to women’s empowerment and reproductive freedom. The site is one of the most heavily protested women’s clinic in Texas by anti-abortionists (Read more about sister clinic in McAllen TX). Simultaneously the mural will also send the message to members of the community:  “When you come here, bring only love.” 

How better to say this than a mural with glowing green leaves reading into the words;  Harmony, Love, Respect & Dignity.

This project was brought together by the brilliant ladies of Shout Your Abortion who thought to combine a Call to Artists from Whole Woman’s Health, Abortion Conversation Projects, and Shift Stigma they’d started earlier this year to paint murals on their clinics. I’d been working with #SYA doing illustrations for their promotional material (La Rosa) and really wanted to contribute more the best way I know how; with art.  I agreed to the trip knowing I was leaving the liberal bubble of Seattle. I had to be aware of my surroundings and be patient when confronted with ideas counter to mine. Here is a small journal of my experience in Fort Worth, Texas.

Day 1 Saturday: I flew in, got my rental, and drove right to the clinic to meet my contact Fatimah. The clinic was closing for the day so she gave me a brief tour of the mural site, space, clinic, and I met some of the nurses. The picture above is the other fence that flanks the clinic (non-mural fence). Naively when I agreed to paint, I didn’t realize what the fence represented and protected. My contact informed me they weren’t just to place property lines, these were specifically installed to protect women from protesters who would camp in the areas beyond to harass and berate them as they came and left the clinic. This particular space is the exit, where women would have to walk confronted with (mostly male) protesters attacking them with anything from racial slurs to manipulative cries of empathy. The space left between the fences (their property), was purposely made so if anyone climbed over the chainlink fence, they would be arrested for trespassing. These precautions are like a game of chess and were a stab of reality that I truly was in place that did not care about protecting women.

Day 2 Sunday: Today the clinic was closed. I was joined by videographer Brady who has worked with SYA in the past. I focused on placement and building colors for the mural. Someone must have seen activity at the clinic because a sole protester showed up mid-day and stayed. He gibberishly sang loudly to call attention to the sign he held highlighting statistics of lives lost to abortion. When he realized we weren’t there to use the clinic facilities, he came around the other side of the fence where I was and tried to engage us. He thought it was a shame I was using my god given artistic talent for such nonsense. I told him he looked liked an artist himself referencing his sign and he responded his daughter made the sign and he hoped she’d never use her talent to support the killing of lives. I told him I hope he continues to love and support his daughter throughout her life. My thought is that if she ever gets into a situation where she might need him to challenge his convictions, he’d chose love over hate, compassion over propaganda and love her unabashedly. When he left, I was told he was the mellowest of them. I made great progress on the mural and had most of my placement and color scheme laid out. That night I ate really good Fried Chicken and made the most of my Texas eating experience.

Day 3 Monday:  Today was the first day the clinic would be open while I painted. I arrived after opening to not have the nurses overwhelmed with patients while simultaneously trying to set me up. In order to get into the building I needed to press the buzzer and come in like all patients. 

“Do you have an appointment?” 

My heart stopped. No, no I don’t.  But I realized that this entrance might be the first place a woman’s verbally been confronted with her reality, that yes, yes I am here for an abortion. In a state where abortion is a 2 day affair and is still highly stigmatized and looked down upon. This resounded greatly for me. When I walked through the door I was walking the steps many women had to face alone. 

Precautions like this are standard since clinics are not only a target for verbal abuse, but for physical and sadly at times fatal.

Without Incident, I was able to work through the morning and early afternoon. Brady and I ate Waffle House which was heavenly. 

Day 4 Tuesday: I finished the mural, but this was the most eventful and emotionally hard of the days. We had a second protester. His protest calls were toxic and specifically targeted the women coming in and out toned with sugar coated manipulation. Here’s a few I remember;

- “Think about your baby” He’s already given ownership to the woman. - “I’m glad your mother gave you a chance.” He’s personalizing her actions. - “Take a pamphlet for a clinic 2 minutes from here, there’s a better way, they can help” The clinic 2 minutes away was most likely a front for anti-abortionists to counsel women OUT of getting an abortion. They will lie and say they offer services to mislead women. - “You’ll never be able to undo this…” 

Ultimate guilt trip, matter not what the circumstances of the woman’s decisions are, these men take it upon themselves day in and day out to harass, interrogate, and manipulate these woman who only need help.

It was infuriating.

I finished the mural early and afterwards we lunched with the nurses. They planned a potluck to ease the tension of the work week and to take a break and eat with each other. As the holidays near and new scheduled hours, they are seeing a large influx of patients. I was explained daily routines of what the patients and nurses go through, asking questions and being answered with patience and love. There is’t enough staff. There isn’t enough time. There isn’t enough funding. Each room was named after a couragous woman Amelia Earhart, Alice Walker etc. The clinic’s theme the color Purple. 

Observations: Both protesters tried to engage me through the fence after. The first used his daughter to fuel his argument, the second was a little more aggressive, using the phrase ‘putting pearls on a pig’. In a petty moment I sprayed paint in his direction, hoping the fumes would make him leave me alone. In my experience painting murals in communities, when viewers watch a mural being painted they walk away with a certain ownership. Both referenced my talent and that the mural was beautiful. I wonder what mindfuck will occur if someone damages it. If they will think about the small Mexican woman that worked 3 days on it and feel anger, do they think this space belongs to them? 

When I asked the clinic nurse why there's such a need for abortion her answer right away was; Education. There's not enough reproductive education in schools on how students body’s work, how they can protect themselves from STD's, and ultimately pregnancy. There's so much body shaming it creates a stigma of ignorance. There's many parents that still think their children knowing about your body is "gross" and don't trust they're old enough to make those decisions. The reality is that abstinence is NOT a viable solution. Knowing how your body works and utilizing ways to protect it are. Reproductive Coercion is now a new threat our youth have to face which is defined by “Any behaviour aimed at establishing and maintaining power and control by restricting a woman’s reproductive autonomy, denying her control over decisions related to her reproductive health, and limiting her access to reproductive health options.”

On the most positive of sides of this trip, I met Wildstyle, who invited me to her weekly radio show co-hosted with Embo Slice as they life coach with their listeners. So while these 2 men might have been trying to tear down women, I had the immense pleasure to build with these ladies the night before I flew out. Mark 52:30 if you’re short on time, but I suggest listening to the entire show. You can also donate from their page so they can continue their incredible work empowering women in Hip Hop. 

LISTEN HERE 

As a closing thought, this trip armed me with the experience to fuel my dedication to my community and my convictions. Women and our allies may collectively support and love each other. Each day is another day to advocate, fight, create art, and to speak up to defend our rights and the future of our rights. In order to ensure my bonus daughter retains her own rights, I must keep painting.

I am super thankful Washington is a state with programing and legislation that protects the rights of young adults. FLASH, WA States health ed starts as early as the 4th grade. Confidentiality for our young adults at 13 allows them to take the reigns of their mental, physical, and reproductive health without parental consent. This protects them from parental political agendas and ignorance, and allows them to make decisions they'll be in charge of for the rest of their lives. It also safeguards them from potential mental or physical abuse and allows them to get the help they need without the stigma of their parents judgement.

Special Thanks to Organizers:  ShoutYourAbortion.com | IG @SYA_206  ShiftStigma.org | IG @Shift_Stigma AbortionConversationProjects.org  Videographer: bradyhallstuff.com Radio: Good Girls, Bad Thoughts | IG @GGBT_ |  @Embo_Slice_ | @IAMWildstyle

LOVE to all the amazingly strong and dedicated woman who advocate, work, and support within this field. You have my respect, love and admiration. Stay Strong <3

Angelina V.

[truemedian]

Lori Loughlin's daughter Olivia Jade slammed on Twitter for 'tone deaf' white privilege comments

Lori Loughlin's daughter Olivia Jade has been slammed after sharing an Instagram post about racism following George Floyd's death. The influencer, 20, shared a lengthy post on Sunday claiming she and her peers should 'use their white privilege to stop this,' and that others 'need to understand that just "not being racist is not enough''.' Her post sparked backlash from users who were quick to claim that her so-called 'white privilege' was the thing that stopped her parents Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli from facing lengthy jail sentences during the college admissions scandal. Backlash: Lori Loughlin's daughter Olivia Jade, 20, has been slammed after sharing an Instagram post about racism following George Floyd's death In the long post shared to Instagram Stories, Olivia originally wrote: 'Need to understand that just ''not being racist'' is not enough. if you hear people saying disrespectful things. CORRECT THEM.  'Don't sit there and allow this to continue happening. And if someone says something like ''no one is around that it offends.''  'Or ''it's a joke'' IT SHOULD OFFEND all of us because it's outright wrong and disgusting that humans talk/treat other HUMANS the way we've seen. 'Explain how it's not funny at all. How actually ignorant it sounds. How uneducated you sound when u are undermining what black people have had to deal with for generations.' Views: The influencer shared a lengthy post on Sunday claiming she and her peers should 'use their white privilege to stop this ' She continued: 'Speak up!!! If you see something that doesn't look right... do something!!!! THIS NEEDS TO BE CHANGED FOREVER!  'And as a person who was born into privilege based on my skin color and financial situation, i was note always aware that these issues were still so present. And that makes me feel awful.  'But that also fuels me. It makes me want to learn more ad do more and be better for all my beautiful black friends and any other person who faces discrimination.  'I'm not racist and i never have been but i need to speak up about this because just not being racism isn't enough. It outrages me. It makes me feel sick. It brings me to tears. THERE SHOULD NOT BE SUCH A GAP BETWEEN PEOPLE LIKE THIS.' Family: Many users slammed Olivia's comments, claiming her 'white privilege' has prevented her mother Lori Loughlin (pictured 2017) from facing a lengthy jail sentence Olivia concluded her post: 'We need to support and stand up and speak and use out WHITE PRIVILEGE TO STOP THIS. We need to stop complaining about the smallest thing. because the black community are fearful of drying and being oppressed every single day just based on the way they look and how they were born.  'TIME to step tf up and keep making noise because this cannot continue to happen. IT'S DISGUSTING.' Olivia's post did not sit well with many social media users, who were quick to slam her comments. Several claimed that her statement about 'using white privilege' was ironic, given it was the same platform her parents used to fraudulently gain her admission into college. 'Olivia Jade on IG going on about white privilege... you mean the thing that's keeping your parents out of jail and that fake got you into USC? I just can't,' one user tweeted. College scandal: Twitter users couldn't get past the fact Olivia's parents have pleaded guilty to charges related to paying $500,000 to try and get her and her sister into prestigious USC Another wrote: 'Olivia Jade talking about white privilege but ignoring the fact her parents bribed and paid her way into college. bye.' 'Her white privilege got her out of trouble,' someone posted in the comments section of Olivia's Instagram post.  'You really have no self awareness,' another user tweeted. 'Tone deaf': She was accused of having 'no self awareness'  Wrong kind of influencer: The Twitter-verse was not impressed with Olivia's comments on social media Floyd died at a nearby hospital shortly after an exchange caught on camera in which he was handcuffed and pleading for his life as police officer Derek Chauvin kneeled on the back of his neck, rendering him unable to breathe; Chauvin has since been fired and charged in the incident.  Protests and riots have spread across the country since footage emerged of Floyd choking to death while being restrained by Chauvin.  Officers have since been criticised for their use of excessive force in controlling the enormous crowds that have gathered to protest in key cities all over the country.  Views: Jade made her case less than a week into a national unrest with rioting over dozens of cites in response to the death of 46-year-old security guard George Floyd in Minneapolis  Full House star Loughlin and fashion designer Giannulli were among dozens of wealthy parents, athletic coaches and others charged last year in the bribery scheme.  The police investigated dubbed Operation Varsity Blues also involved Desperate Housewives star Felicity Huffman, who was sentenced to 14 days in prison, serving 11.  Lori and Mossimo and paid hefty bribes to get their kids into top universities with bogus test scores or fake athletic credentials, authorities said. The couple had been scheduled to go to trial in October on charges that they got their two daughters into USC as crew recruits, even though neither girl was a rower. Prosecutors say they funneled money through a sham charity operated by college admissions consultant Rick Singer, who has pleaded guilty to orchestrating the scheme. Drama: Olivia's mother Lori (above 2017) was one of many parents charged in the scheme, after trying get their kids into colleges with bogus test scores or fake athletic credentials Prosecutors recorded phone calls and e-mails showing the couple worked with Singer to get their daughters into USC with fake athletic profiles depicting them as star rowers. In one e-mail, Singer told Loughlin and Giannulli he needed a picture of their older daughter on a rowing machine in workout clothes 'like a real athlete'. Giannulli responded, according to the court filings: 'Fantastic. Will get all' and sent Singer the photo. Prosecutors also had a bogus resumé presented to USC that falsely claimed their younger daughter, social media star Olivia Jade, rowed in prestigious competitions like the Head of the Charles. Singer and the former coach he paid to create Jade's fake athletic profile were expected to testify against the couple at trial. Guilty: Both Loughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli agreed to plead guilty last month, with Louglin expected to serve two months in prison and Giannulli five Both Loughlin and Giannulli agreed to plead guilty last month in exchange for a shorter prison sentence. Loughlin pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud, while Giannulli pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud and honest services wire and mail fraud.  Prosecutors agreed to dismiss charges of money laundering and federal programmes bribery that were added after the case was filed. Loughlin and Giannulli insisted for over a year that they were innocent and that they believed their payments were legitimate donations to the school or Singer's charity. They accused prosecutors of withholding evidence that would exonerate them and claimed investigators had sought to trick parents into incriminating themselves.  The judge this month rejected the defense's bid to dismiss the case over allegations of misconduct by federal agents.  As part of the plea agreement, Loughlin will be sentenced to two months in prison and Giannulli five months, subject to the court's approval, according to authorities. Loughlin has also agreed to pay a $150,000 fine and perform 100 hours of community service. Giannulli has agreed to pay a $250,000 fine and perform 250 hours of community service.   College girl: Influencer Olivia had entered University Of Southern California and promoted her attendance on social media Read More Read the full article

[vinylexams]

Dramathan - Into the Pink

I’m VERY excited to make this post because if you’ve been following VE for a while, you’ll recognize it as one of the only albums I’ve used this platform to help fund-raise to see it get pressed! Dramathan, or Jonathan as I know him, has been making noisy, DIY bedroom rock for a while now and Into the Pink is a big ol’ hunk of album with an even bigger story behind it. I won’t tell the story on his behalf, since there’s a pretty meaty interview waiting for you on our main website, but this album has a lot of backstory. Musically speaking, it’s really catchy pop-minded indie rock. It’s a little crunchy, it’s a little shoegazey, and it reminds me of the best-of-the-best college rock bands back in the mid and late 90s. Now, what’s even more exciting about this post is that it serves as your official heads up that I’ve also had a chance to interview Jonathan himself about this album and I’m including it in its entirety below the link to listen for yourself!

https://dramathantheband.bandcamp.com/album/into-the-pink

INTERVIEW:

Hi Jonathan! I’d love for you to tell us a bit about the album’s story and what you want us to know about the great music you’ve written here.

First of all, thank you! Not only for today, but for being one of the early supporters of this album. I’m aiming for brevity on this one because I know I have a lot to say! Into the Pink is my sophomore follow up to California Magick, both released on Kerchow Records.  It is an album I wrote and recorded in its entirety all by myself. It documents these past couple of years full of love, death, redemption, depression,fame, triumph, fame, and a life changing cancer diagnosis. Jayne Mansfield’s Pink Palace was the inspiration for the title and thought of moving into the house of love.  The remastered tracks are on Kerchow’s website and were the tracks used to press my new vinyl on pink wax! The vinyl can be purchased only through the Dramathan bandcamp.

Dramathan is a play on your name Jonathan, so tell us a little about that!

Like a lot of teens everything I experienced was just the end of the fucking world, a real costume drama. But in my defense my childhood was full of drama/trauma not completely of my own making. Yeah, I did wild things and was a chronic runaway. But what was I running away from? That’s the real question! But I digress. The short version is one day my mom called me that, it was funny and it just stuck. She was the only one who called me that for a long time.  It’s in the Urban Dictionary and they describe it as “an over dramatic gay dude” (which I may or may not had a hand in coining) but I think of it more now as queer who puts an end to the drama and cuts through the bullshit. It’s a bit strange having a band name or persona that’s actually ridiculously personal. That’s kind of a running theme in my life. I mean, if you see my IMDB I play myself on The Fine Bros. React channel on Youtube.  I’m lucky to have it though. It’s a name that really allows me to play to my moodiness musically and doesn’t pigeon hole me to a specific sound. Plus, It’s really the only good word play you can do with my name besides “Jon Not Thin” which is my IG handle, so there.

I shared a link to your GoFundMe page earlier this year to raise money for this pressing and also to help support your mother who is undergoing treatment for cancer. How has that campaign worked out?

In terms of funding, great. In term of community, it worked out better than anything I could have hoped for. I always thought I knew who my community was, but who it actually consisted of…well.. .that was a bit of a rude awakening.  People that I supported by showing up to their shows, donating money to, or by lending my name to their events were nowhere to be found. That was until the buzz around Into the Pink started! It was fans of music not fame that lifted me up from its inception.  There are so many people that claim to be supporters of poc-lgbtqia+-artists, so evolved in their inclusivity, but really are hypocritical or just surfing the trend for likes and followers.  And these are things that shouldn’t be made trendy, because the problem with making them trendy is that trends go out of fashion and we are here to stay!  These are real fucking people! The truth is people like me have to work twice as hard to get half as far in this industry.  My therapist would say “thoughts are things” and ask “Is this a narrative you’ve created?” To that I say, ‘Yeah , thoughts are things and people can create a narrative, but reality is a thing too!’ And the reality is Into the Pink is album that was created on the island of misfit toys. It doesn’t really fit into one genre and there are people that get it and love it!  Yes, I am aware that the story behind it resonates with a lot of people, but it wouldn’t be doing this well if it wasn’t a good album.  Here is where I show my hubris. The people who funded it know the back story, but the majority of people buying the vinyl don’t.  They want the music!!! I recorded this album all by myself, zero budget and on a phone! A damn phone, Nate! I had this one review where a sound engineer critiqued Into the Pink.  Not a rock journalist mind you, but a sound engineer.  They said things like “…not more than fuzzy guitars, drums and vocals…” well that’s what I had to work with! There was no producer and no studio! I love the Pixies but I’m not trying to be the Pixies! (another thing he threw out there, there are even references to the Sex Pistols which shows his musical pool to pull from).  Black Francis isn’t recording in his bedroom in between taking his mother to chemo. I did win him over though and at the end he recommended it. A fucking sound engineer! He said I did “a remarkable job with the tools he was working with” and that all my songs were “catchy” a term I used to hate but now embrace as one of my strengths. All this is extremely important for any artist to know (esp. marginalized ones) and I’m not afraid to speak on these things and really show my seams, because I want people esp. queer or people of color to know it’s hard, but also know that they can do it!!! So many people finally get through the door and get a seat at the table in this industry. But then they shut the door behind them, barricade it! Because they feel like there isn’t room for anyone else. FUCK THAT! I’m all about breaking down that damn door and holding it open for others like me.  I mean… the cream rises. You’re only afraid if you don’t have the goods. So, now I keep my circle tight, but right. Many of the campaign supporters were friends of React or Reactors themselves (Trudi, Ary, Faith and Jason). The trans community really stepped up and friends that know my mother.  They know my mom has spent her entire life helping people, fighting for gay/equal rights by being part of ACT UP, a Brown Beret who helped raised money for communities where people couldn’t pay for their families’ own funerals, and a social worker who always went above and beyond as an advocate for the people she was assigned to. It was time to give back to the woman who had given so much all of her life.

If it’s not too forward, how is your mom doing? I know we’re all sending her lots of good vibes and thinking of her as she goes through treatment!

It’s rough. I didn’t know that the heart could break so many times in a day. How many times until it’s just broken, ya know??? Some days I hear my mom’s very distinct laugh and I am so grateful for that day and then the next moment I find myself frightened I might forget it someday soon. I want people to know how hard it can be so they cherish every moment with their loved ones without being a total buzzkill. I live my life pretty publicly/authentically, but I can only tell my side of it. I will say she’s a fighting and kicking ass, but for once I wish things could just be easy for her.

Tell us a little about you, the musician.

Well… I’m an autodidact. Before I got into punk I listened to a lot of female R&B groups, oldies and those old school Jamz like “Lookout Weekend” by Debbie Deb. My mom played a lot of Pat Benatar, The Cars, and Janet Jackson around the house so I learned a lot about hooks from those artists, at least early on. But I picked up on how to write harmonies from bands like Veruca Salt not the Beach Boys!

What is your approach to songwriting? Who do you credit as some of your biggest influences?

I’m a fucking workhorse when it comes to music! For every song on this album there are at least two others that didn’t make the cut!  I will put out shit song after shit song until one feels right. (I shouldn’t say they were shit, but just weren’t up to my standards). I don’t wait for a muse to show up and guide my hands “Ghost” style. Sure, I get inspired, but I need to write and love doing so. This time though I stepped it up, I knew that I needed to write something people would buy! That’s the harsh reality of it.  I still create without an audience in mind with the exception of a younger me. Growing up I always wanted to hear songs about boys loving boys, magick, poc, etc. So, I create what I want to see more of in the world and share personal experiences in hope to lessen others’ alienation. I also didn’t listen to any music while writing this album! I did have a vision board that had pictures of Deborah Harry, Debi Martini (whom I dedicated the album to), Jayne Mansfield and Patti Smith. Also, a list of bands I love including: Hole, Huggy Bear, Red Aunts, Helium, Julie Ruin, Free Kitten, Kaito, Veruca Salt, Slant 6, Frumpies, and L7. It was less a vision board and more of a reminder. Like REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOVE LISTENING TO and WHY! Hole will forever be my number one influence, I think Courtney Love is an underrated lyricist even if a vast amount of people think she is an overrated anything else. It’s funny because I grew up listening to noise bands, red aunts, but what comes out of me is this weird alt. pop! I mean, I don’t know many noise bands with bridges and a hook. Go figure!

If you got to collaborate with one famous musician or band (alive OR dead), who would it be and why?

Patti Smith, but what would I bring to the table??? She’s a Poet laureate! I would just prostrate myself at her feet.

What made you want to press this album on vinyl and how did you get connected with your label, Kerchow Records?

That was always the goal from day one.  As a collector, why not my own wax? I read somewhere that on a digital format your ear/brain can get tired of the fixed sound. On vinyl it’s forever changing in the most miniscule of ways so it’s harder to tire of. We did do the cassette tape first because we weren’t fully funded and time was of the essence. The tracks weren’t mixed to my liking (my doing) but, I didn’t know how long we had with my mother. So, we released it just so my mother could see a tangible product.  Not to mention Kerchow is famous for putting out tapes so I am honored to be their first vinyl release. I know they did one before, but it was combined label release with two other labels. Into the Pink is their first solely Kerchow vinyl. I first met Nick Dolezal in Fresno through my then boyfriend, Taylor Rosario-Price.  Fresno is one of my hometowns. They have some of the best and worst people you will ever meet. Nick of Kerchow is one of the good ones. That is also how I met the brilliant Damaris Paz who made my vision for the cover come to fruition. All are amazing musicians/artists in their own right. I didn’t think they would be interested in my first album California Magick, because like I said before, my style didn’t really mesh with what I heard from their label or any for that matter, but I believe he was intrigued by how I was recording the songs before he heard the songs themselves. I didn’t even think to shop demos around for Into the Pink.  They believed in me before the Youtube success and I’m all about bringing people up with me. They believed in me from the beginning so I wouldn’t just do one release and leave… it’s called loyalty!

What does the vinyl format mean to you? If you’re a collector, how did you get started and what types of records do you like to collect?

I started in my teens with whatever I could find at thrift stores. “Sounds to make you shiver” was a good one and probably the scratched to hell “Rumours” by Fleetwood Mac (which I still have). It started with riot grrrl releases! There was a time when whatever Kill Rock Stars put out without question, without hearing it, I would just buy it, because I knew it would be amazing. I have an affinity for the female voices so the majority of my collection is that.  I have thousands of pieces of vinyl. Not to sound to snobby, but I only buy NM or Mint vinyl now.

Do you have any white whale records that you’ve never been able to find?

I’m going to say something I never thought I would say but I pretty much have all the records that I want.  I know what your readers are thinking ‘well there you have it he’s not a real collector’, not true!  It changed throughout the years. When I was doing my tumblr 365 it was an og pressing of Live Through This, got it. Not to mention a white label candy heart promo copy of Hole demos and rarities.  Then it was all about getting them signed.  I have signatures by: Kat Bjelland, Mary Timony, Louise Post, Janet Weiss, Theo Kogan etc. I even got The Craft soundtrack signed by Rachel True. Believe me, there are still records I would like to have but I know where they are. I still need singles like  LaVern Baker “Voodoo, Voodoo”, Donna Lynn “I’d Much Rather Be with the Girls”, April Stevens “Kiss me tiger”, and Betty Lavette’s “Witchcraft in the air”  It’s a cash issue as I am sure it is with a lot of collectors. Also, there are records that aren’t on vinyl that I’m waiting for like, Frumpies “One Piece”, the Jawbreaker soundtrack, Juliana Hatfield’s “Made in China”, even Sheryl Crow’s self-titled album lol!

Last Question! What’s a bit of Dramathan trivia that you’ve never told anyone in print before!

Until this album I had never wrote songs about one particular person.  Even if it’s an it’s a very devasting break up song or about a boy (usually a diss track) it’s always snippets of many different experiences tied together.  I feel in doing so, like, when you compile many different experiences that feel similar it has a synergistic effect and a lot more people can relate. Collecting all the teardrops to make the tidal wave sort of thing.  Also, I feel like if I were to hone in on one person I would destroy them psychically! One song in particular is about my best bruja Lily. Who in my darkest hour showed up in my dream and I did the same in hers on the same night. She told me I “dream jumped” and as an avid student of the esoteric believe she saved me both in my dream and in real life because I was really depressed.

Also, I mention Angelyne in the album because we met for coffee and she drove me around Hollywood in her iconic pink corvette (for free I might add) and while writing L.A. Water I kept the pink quartz crystal she gave me in sight.