#we still need to improve but we're already good enough. just needs to be better

[cometchasr]

please look at singapore. even my constant screaming in agony over bus timings (im looking at YOU, 197!) has them at, max, 15 minutes. waiitng half a fucking hour for a bus sounds like hell. sometimes buses will purportedly arrive in 40 minutes (i had this happen once)...

... and then it comes within the next 10 because our bus timing app is fucked up in a weird way. seriously, the longest time id had to wait for a bus was 20 minutes tops, and that was one time. usually buses come every (varies by bus) about 8 to 10 minutes (as mentioned previously, 197 is an exception, and i hate it. im writing this at 10am, which is quite not-peak hours, and the buses still come every about 10 minutes. making a good bus system is possible, making it supplant cars (at least to an extent) is also possible. it's been done before. the problem is that the government itself needs to want to make the transit network better (because in its current state no one wants to pay for it), so getting your voice heard is important.

If you are thinking about it on paper, the bus running every half hour doesn't sound so bad, until you're waiting at the stop and you miss a bus or it's delayed. Then you're waiting a very, very long time. To people who never take transit, that's probably fine. Why do you care. To people who only take transit, they're expecting it, it's baked in their lives. But the important part, what really impacts our cities, is what happens to people for whom transit is an option.

The spiral goes like this. You go to take the bus instead of driving, thinking "I'm going to o have a couple drinks" or "I don't want to worry about parking where I'm going." So you take bus. First bus is right on time. But then you transfer from your neighborhood line to the line that takes you where you actually want to go. And your bus is delayed. And it only comes every 30 minutes. And then you're waiting, 40 minutes later, wondering where your bus is, knowing you could have driven there in 20 minutes.

Why would you ever chose to take a bus again? The bus made you waste precious time on your day off just sitting there. So next time you drive. Ridership goes down. When the transit authority asks for more money for more buses and more drivers, people point to the ridership numbers and say "why should we pay for this instead of paying for our schools/police/baseball stadium/parks/police again (let's be real that's who's taking all the money)?" If we want to increase ridership we need to actually design and fund functional transit networks. If we want people to actually ride the bus we need to make it a better option than driving, which means reliable service, which you don't get with a bus every 30 minutes.

Every 15 minutes, everywhere, all of the time.

[jinnie-ret]

fake fights

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

minho x reader focus

genre: fluff, angst

content warnings: none

word count: 2.5k

Remember to reblog if you enjoy, and my asks are open! let me know if you want to be tagged!

you and minho decide to strike revenge and prank the boys after they leave practice early because of the tense mood you both created.

MASTERLIST

It was getting nearer and nearer to Stray Kids' 5-STAR Dome tour, and it would be wrong to say that you were managing everything just fine. Rehearsing your own solo song and trying to learn new choreography, alongside refining existing dances was taking a toll on you. You felt more irritable at smaller things, so when Minho corrected you on a mistake you made during the rehearsal for 'ITEM', you didn't react very well.

"Y/N, you need to swing out your arms a bit bigger, it looks out of sync compared to everyone else," Minho commented, panting as he went to pause the music, running a hand through his hair feeling exasperated. He just wanted you to get the movement right but this was the third time already he had mentioned it.

"It looks fine. I don't get why you keep making an issue out of it," you pinch the bridge of your nose as you grab a bottle of water and take a sip from it.

"Because it doesn't look right when you can't keep up with the rest of us," he sighed, already picking up on your irritated tone.

"Oh, so now I'm not as good as everyone else? That's real encouraging, thanks," you roll your eyes. You felt like all your hard work wasn't good enough.

Fire was fighting with fire right now. The other members of Stray Kids and Stays knew well that you and Minho were similar so you'd be more likely to clash.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know that," Minho said sternly, arms resting on his hips as he wiped sweat away from his face.

"Guys, let's not fight, just take a break and we'll carry on after, okay?" Chan attempted to mediate the situation, but both of you were stuck in a sour mood. You, because you felt like you were being criticised for no reason, and Minho, because he knew his words weren't getting through to your stubborn self.

"I'm not gonna carry on if he keeps making comments all the time," you throw your hands up in the air feeling frustrated.

"Y/N, I'm sure Minho is just trying to help," Changbin patted your shoulder, not liking how this practice was going.

"Exactly, that's all I'm trying to do, and you're acting like a child having a tantrum just because you don't like what you're hearing," Minho rolls his eyes.

"Me? A child? Well, it's better than acting like I'm better than everyone else," you fight back, glaring over at him.

"Woah, woah, okay I know it's not nice to hear about what we need to improve on, maybe you could comment on it less, Minho? But we don't need to argue," Chan pointed out. It made you feel happy that someone understood your point of view. But it still didn't help your annoyance fade.

"I'm not arguing, I'm just making a point that Minho is clearly trying to tell us all what to do because he's such an 'expert'," you scrunch your nose up.

"Right, okay, that's it. Kids, let's go," Chan calls over the rest of the group.

"What we're just going to completely abandon practice?" Minho throws his head back annoyed.

"Oh, no. You and Y/N will stay here and make up. We're going back to the dorms. Don't come back until you're best friends again, okay?" Chan directs his orders towards us and doesn't leave room for us to answer him as he directs everyone else out of the room without a goodbye.

You grit your teeth as you practice the dance again, seeing Minho stand up in the mirror reflection and walk behind you.

"Don't say it," you don't even look him in the eye.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Minho casually says, grabbing your arms and adjusting how you stand to help create bigger movements.

"You just did," you mutter under your breath, feeling annoyed because his advice actually did help make that particular move look better.

After going through the dance one more time, you sit on the sofa at the back of the practice room, taking a sip of your water and grabbing your phone.

"I don't actually think you act like you're better than everyone else by the way," you break the silence after working yourself up to talking.

"I know," Minho hums, joining you on the sofa.

"And I know you don't think I'm not as good as anyone else," you add on.

"I know," he simply says again.

"I've just got so many things in my head, trying to remember different choreographies and then feeling comfortable with singing my solo song at the concerts and-"

"I thought as much," Minho stops your rambling as he places a hand on your knee.

"Do you know everything?" you groan, leaning back into the sofa.

"Well, I am better than everyone else, so that means I have all the knowledge anyone could ask for," Minho smirks, poking fun at you.

"Hey I just said I didn't mean what I said-"

"You're getting in your own head again, Y/Nnie, I'm just playing around with you," he chuckles lightly.

"I'm sorry," you say chewing on your lip, looking into his eyes as he wears a small smile.

"I'm sorry too for making you more stressy," he nods at you.

You two sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"I can't believe they just left us and went back to the dorms. They didn't even stay to practice anymore," you huff, enviously thinking about your other members who went back home.

"Well, this just calls for some revenge, my dear Y/Nnie," Minho smirks with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

====================================

Mission 'trick the other members into thinking that you and Minho were still arguing' was a go. It was also an unnecessarily long and uncreative title, but we don't talk about that.

Since returning to the dorms, the two of you instantly went to your own bedrooms, ignoring any of the other members that tried talking to you. You had to keep up the idea that you were both still angry at each other.

Checking the time, you realised it was nearing dinner, when you and Minho would be cooking together for the others. And it was time for the next step of your plan to be set in motion.

Exiting your bedroom, you couldn't avoid your other members.

"Hey, Y/N, how you feeling?" Jeongin asked with a cautious smile.

"I'm fine," you shrug nonchalantly.

"Are you still cooking with Minho tonight?" Jisung asked, a look on his face that seemed like he was waiting for you to say no.

"Yeah," you sigh, trying to act like you hated the very thought, "but it'll be fine, I'm not scared of Minho."

"No, but you should be scared of Minho with knives," Seungmin said with wide eyes, causing the other two boys to laugh.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. The only sharp thing about Minho is his tongue, there's a reason he's part of Paboracha," you joke back.

"Good luck Y/Nnie!" Jeongin cutely cheers you on as you enter the kitchen.

"I heard you call me a pabo," Minho says from where he was getting pans out of the cupboard.

"Well, I had to keep it up for the prank," you easily find a cover up for your words, trying to hide your smile as you grabbed ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard.

"Just for the prank, hmm? I'll remember that," Minho says mysteriously, and your smile drops, knowing he could mean that for real.

"Anyways... So I'll chop up the onion, yeah?" you check in that you were both on the same page for your revenge.

"Yeah, and we'd be better off not talking for now, they could overhear and get suspicious," Minho reminds you, chopping up some beef.

"You just don't want to hear my voice," you roll your eyes fondly, peeling the onion.

"Just for the prank," Minho uses your own words against you, and you can hear the smugness dripping through his voice, and it shuts you up.

You focus on your task of chopping up the onions, feeling your eyes water already, and you still had another one to do.

"Aish, dammit," you blink rapidly, trying to clear your blurry vision as you start to quickly chop the other onion.

"Careful, Y/Nnie, you'll chop a finger off if you carry on, I'll finish it off," Minho takes over from your spot.

"You sure?" you double check.

"Yeah, just get on with the prank," he waves you off, easily cutting up the rest of the vegetables.

And with that, you leave the kitchen, eyes stinging with unshed tears, already red from where you used your sleeves to wipe away where they were watering.

"Oh, Y/Nnie, are you okay?" Felix gently asks you as you bump into him.

"I, I just-" you cut yourself off from continuing to speak, pretending to be upset and hiccuping on your own breaths.

"Ah, Y/Nnie, what's happened?" Hyunjin sees you too and looks concerned, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"I hate fighting with Minho," you sniffle, wiping your tears.

"Again?" Felix asks with his eyebrows raised, everyone argued in the group before, but when it came to Minho and Y/N, it was rare for it to last this long. He was worried it was something more serious this time.

"I need a moment," you dramatically walk away to the bathroom, and finally sort out your stinging eyes. You wash your hands and apply a damp cloth to your eyes to soothe them.

As if the boys were actually believing your prank. It only hyped you up more as you heard a knock at the door.

"Y/Nnie, sweetheart, you okay in there?" the sweet husky voice of Changbin gently asked you with a light knock. You sniffle, wiping your eyes to maintain a redness there before responding to him.

"Leave me alone," you whimper pitifully.

"Come on, let's talk about it, yeah?" Changbin tries to coax you out the bathroom. If it weren't for it being a prank, you know any other day you would've ran straight into his arms. Changbin always knew what to say and how to make you feel better.

"It's stupid," you cry out. Yes it was stupid, stupid how the boys were believing this. It was amazing what a couple of onions could do.

"I'm sure it isn't, love, come on, dinner is nearly ready," Changbin tried his best, and you thought you should unlock the door now, to save his patience from breaking.

You're shocked to see Jisung run past you into the bathroom, quickly saying a 'sorry' as he shuts the door.

"Ah, Jisungie needed the toilet also," Changbin scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.

You simply nod, wiping away at your cheeks again, trying not to laugh.

"Let's sit down for dinner, yeah? Sit next to me, you don't have to look at Minho. I don't know what you guys are still arguing about, but I hope it stops soon," Changbin lightly strokes your hair comfortingly, waiting for you to nod again before guiding you to the table.

He sits you between himself and Felix, who leans over to you subtly.

"You ok now, Y/Nnie?" he whispers concerned.

You shake your head, and out of the corner of your eye, you see Chan sternly whispering to Minho. You felt guilty that he was the bad guy in this situation, but he insisted he could handle it.

It was an awkward start to dinner, nobody quite knew what to say. All that could be heard was scrapes of knives and forks, the occasional slurp.

It was time for the final step of the plan.

"I can't take this anymore," you stand up, your chair scraping back against the wooden floors.

"Y/N...?" Chan spoke up warily.

"I can't just sit here and pretend like everything's normal," you exclaim, running your hands through your hair.

"Y/N, whatever happens between you and Minho-" Hyunjin began, but you cut him off.

"It's not about him! It's about the rest of you!" you say, looking at them all.

"Huh? What did we do?" Seungmin stops mid bite, wondering why your anger was being directed towards them.

"I can't keep it a secret anymore," you cover your face, but not just for dramatic effect, but because you were trying to hide your smile. The air was tense right now.

"Should I say it or should you?" Minho speaks up from the other side of the table, purposefully sounding nervous.

"Guys? What's going on?" Jisung looks between the two of you nervously.

"Is it the first Stray Kids baby?" Jeongin genuinely asks.

"Ew no!"

"No Jeonginnie!"

You and Minho both say disgusted at the same time.

"Then what is it?" Chan taps his fingers against the table expectantly, waiting for the answer.

"You've just been pranked," you and Minho reveal at the same time, letting out a laugh at all of their reactions. Seeing their eyes bulge out of their heads, or their confusion taking over.

"Wait... So you don't hate each other?" Felix asks in bewilderment from next to you, making you and Minho laugh.

"Nope," you giggle.

The members stand up from their seats, pacing and exclaiming about how they were 'tricked'.

"So all of that in the practice room earlier...?" Changbin trails off.

"Oh no that was real. But you guys went home after only a little time of practice and left us. So that was our revenge," Minho smirks, ducking from Chan's arms that reached out to grab him into a headlock.

"Only you two would prank someone after having an argument," Seungmin says as if it should have been obvious to him.

"I think it worked perfectly," Minho says as he runs past you, Hyunjin joining in on chasing him with Chan.

"Oh, it certainly did," you laugh, suddenly squealing as Jeongin lifts you over his shoulder and dumps you on the sofa.

"Now it's time for our revenge," he grins and raises his eyebrows before tickling you.

tagged: @oo-li

[thatghostinyourbog]

THIS SCENE

THIS FUCKING SCENE

I always thought this scene SAID everything it needed to say

And I just never looked too deeply into it until now

Atsushi and his tiger are separate

They are portrayed as 2 separate beings throughout the entire show

And his ability might be like that

But if we're thinking of this from a storyteller point of view

Atsushi is the tiger

The tiger is Atsushi

In that scene atsushi admits how much he hates himself

And later Akutagawa reveals that Atsushi thinks he doesn't deserve to live unless he's helping others

But that doesn't change, atsushi just doesn't think he deserves to live. He is trying to earn to live but helping people is just keeping him alive

I think the tiger came out to help him (he helped himself) only because he finally thought he deserved to live, he was helping so many people and in that moment he realised this gives him a right to live

So why was that not the end of the season and his character development??

WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

After all that happened SECONDS after the ENTIRE CITY was saved Atsushis main focus was still on making sure as many people lived as possible. After all that it still wasn't enough.

Then we move onto his quality bonding time with the little Victorian boy

I've already talked about Atsushi and Akus relationship so I won't say much more

But the interactions at the end of season 2

Aku not only figured out Atsushi was trying to make it so he deserved to live he also told him how stupid it was

Atsushi and Aku need to hear things like this

Natural behaviours and beliefs they have from their trauma are stupid, but they have so much weight to them neither of them can help but live by those things and sometimes it takes your rival to go up to you, stab you in the shoulders, and say you're stupid for you to think somewhat rationally

Aku tells Atsushi he doesn't have to live his life by other people's morals

He does actually have a choice

With Atsushis past at the orphanage hearing this must've felt like being hit by a truck

Atsushi realised he can have his own morals and he's free to help or kill whoever he pleases

Aku shows Atsushi that he is free

Now there isn't a set way to overcome trauma or improve your mental wellbeing

God everyone wishes there were but that's just life

And I think that's what bsd is

It's people trying to overcome their trauma

People trying to get better

People who seem to be worse at just living than others

Imo bsd is about getting better

Some characters won't

Some will

Some people won't get better

Some will

Bsd is so special because of that fact

It's the only show I've seen that is aimed towards people who simply find living more difficult than others

This is the show you watch when you feel completely alone

The characters are written so well and they're so different from eachother but they all are still suffering

It covers topics that the viewers probably thought they were entirely alone in even thinking about

(My thoughts were all over the place I can't figure out a better way to put all this together so just suffer through the edited thoughts of my brain)((Yea imagine how I feel I have to suffer through the completely unedited ones))

Atsushi views the tiger way higher than himself

The tiger represents the part of Atsushi who no matter what will help others

Atsushi himself does not believe he is such a good person

He doesnt believe he is as good as he is, he believes he can harm to people when in reality he would never be able to bring himself to hurt others

The tiger represents Atsushis natural good nature

And Atsushi himself represents all his doubts and worries and feelings of worthlessness

He thinks he is such a bad person he has separated the natural good things about himself and put them into his ability

Which is why in dead apple he seemed so lost and helpless

For half the movie he was following Aku and Kyouka around unsure of what to do

And once he faced his trauma and got his ability back he realised he doesn't HAVE to be such a good person

He doesn't have to be this perfect being who saves everyone and doesn't let anyone suffer

He learns he has to fight

He learns he has to kill some people and there's no way around it

That doesn't make him a bad person

It just makes him human

And this is what he realises at the end of the movie

It's also what he shows Dazai right at the start and the end with those little interactions they have

Atsushi never doubted Dazais humanity

They're all just human

And they're all trying to live to be better people

[itwdoris]

(Any character u want) as a 🌽star streamer showcasing their s/o’s water skills 😲🫣🤯😫😖

uzui tengen x afab reader.

tw; adult streaming, pussy fingering, piss.

★

"so we're good?" tengen asked, turning away from the camera again and looking at it with a grin. a large, thick bulk on his boxer shorts that was a little tight on his thighs.

in fact, his body was as well exposed as ever, his legs were indeed a perdition, but they didn't always appear so much, unlike his defined chest, his strong arms with muscles flexing all the time, that was sin.

now with his hands on his defined waist as he reads the chat from his broadcast incessantly talking. "oh calm down guys, we drank a lot of water today, and if needed, we still have plenty of bottles left!" he looked at you, smiling as he came closer, close enough for the trail of white hair to be at your face level. "don't we?"

you nodded, feeling his hand quickly run through your hair while he patted your thighs to get you to open them, pussy completely exposed to the camera, you could see him smiling with satisfaction.

"but why don't we show it? it will be much more extravagant." he said as his hands touched your belly, a light rub of his thumb on your skin, too close to your bladder, and you didn't even know what he was going to do, because uzui never made a script for his recordings. "they're so full that i bet if i just shove my dick in they'll piss themselves."

you looked at his boxers almost anxiously, thinking about having his cock thrusting into you while you pissed yourself, made you clench into nothingness. you can hear him let out a small chuckle, lowering his hand to your folds. just hearing about my cock?

"ah, but then it wouldn't be funny." he opened yous lips with his fingers, playing with them for the camera, ignoring your needy hole clenching for him. "and we need to do it right."

his finger finally passed through your hole, making you shiver slightly and gasp as he continued to playfully pat it while another finger was going to its main target, rubbing against your clitoris so slowly that it felt like torture.

pressing lightly because he found it amusing how your legs spasmed every time, uzui decided to give you a little treat, rubbing his fingers across your wetness and sticking two fingers in at once, making your eyes widen and a loud moan come out of your throat with the force of the thrust.

it had gone straight into your bladder, and it was already so hard to hold it back that you were whimpering while he smiled, coming closer to give you a kiss, even if the camera didn't catch that part.

his thumb rubbing your clit in circular motions while his fingers started going in and out, you squirmed as you felt his fingers dragging and pushing against your bladder, swallowing as you felt him continue, going at a good slowly pace, this way your piss would soon come out, but at least it wouldn't make a mess...

what a joke.

you were talking about tengen uzui.

he spread your legs with one hand, using his arm to keep them bent, thrusting his fingers inside you faster and faster as he pressed you on the table, feeling your hole squeezing his fingers, which were hitting your bladder hard.

"ah, i think i can improve your vision!" he said, pulling your body with such ease that it looked ridiculous, still holding your legs as he pressed you against his chest, keeping you bent over, fingers running over your pussy as he approached the camera. "better that way, don't you think?"

you whimpered as you felt your breasts squeeze against his arm, your legs swaying slightly in the air as he thrust his fingers in again, gradually increasing the speed until the noises became loud again. you whimpered, feeling drops and drops start to flow, unable to hold it in any longer with all that pressure.

he would stop thrusting only to rub your folds, playing with the wetness that was beginning to drip and then returning to try and get more. he only had to move a little away from the equipment when you sobbed loudly, desperately releasing all the piss in a strong stream.

"extravagant!" he said, playing with the gush while you whimpered, feeling your pussy throb and pulse with both relief and arousal.

squirming against his chest, you felt his fingers go back inside you in a constant in and out motion, fucking you again while you pissed.

with his hand slapping against your folds and making a bit of a mess with the piss, which splashed everywhere, he started rubbing your clit with his thumb again, synchronizing at a fast pace. tengen loved to see you like that, almost destroyed and all wet against him and for him, showing how good your pissing skills were.

he rocked his hips slightly, thrusting on you to see the stream of piss making more of a mess and trying to relieve the volume that was growing between his legs. after all, he had drunk so much water too, and would have to relieve himself at some point.

"u-uzui..." you sobbed softly, eyes almost closed as you tried to push your hips against his fingers, too close. the stream of piss gradually diminishing to make way for drops, that flowed incessantly.

"gonna cum?" he asked softly near your ear, pulling you up a little, just to bite your ear, lightly. squeezing you a little tighter. "after pissing all over my hand... gonna cum on my fingers?"

you whimpered, trying to squirm trapped in his arms, squeezing your toes and clenching his fingers inside your soaked hole.

a slight chill hovered on your belly, whole body shivering when you finally came, whimpering loudly as his fingers continued, going as deep as they could and returning to caress you on that good spot. you could hardly breathe, going completely limp against him, only not falling over because he kept holding you tightly.

he pulled his fingers out of your winking hole, rubbing it in a light caress before wiping it off with his own mouth. supporting you on the table and lowering your legs, he held you with both hands to make it better, showering you with kisses.

he still had an erection inside his boxers, not to mention the wet spot that seemed to grow larger with every stream of piss that escaped from his cock. turning to the camera with a big smile, before giving a little wave and turn it off without much warning, without paying much attention to the agitated chat.

'cuz well, it's over for them, but for you? not yet.

THE PISSKING FINALLY, i can't talk openly about how much i want NEED his piss and how much he's into it.

anyway, i hate the porn industry and i will always criticize it, please guys, don't kid yourself about it.

but i wrote that because it was a request and the first person i thought of was uzui, he literally screamed in my mind. also, piss related, i couldn't resist. i think i've done what was asked, but i'm not sure, anyway if you even read this, hope you like it! <3

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Ace Trappola - Beach Wear Vignette

"An amazing and memorable summer"

[Uninhabited Island – Cottage]

Ace: HIYAH!

[wind magic]

Ace: Awesome, bullseye! Finish 'em off, Housewarden!

Riddle: I don't need you to tell me twice. HUP!!

[fire magic]

Ace: That's a Housewarden for you! Alllright, let's nab all the parts ASAP.

Riddle: You've improved, Ace. But the number of robot attacks seems to be increasing.

Ace: Yeahhh. Maybe Gantu's finally taking it seriously?

Riddle: …Everyone is so elated by the resort and surfing, but I believe we should take a breather to think more seriously.

Riddle: At dinner, we should speak to determining a security system.

Ace: So I got stuck patrolling around the cottage based on Riddle-ryōchō's suggestion…

1. Let's do our best! 2. I'll join you.

Grim: Nyahaha! Gantu's robots ain't no match for me～!

Stitch: Yeehaw ♪

Ace: NO, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHY AM I STUCK WITH THESE GUYS!? THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY SAFER!

Ace: Stitch is one thing, but you two from Ramshackle're not really good for fighting!

Grim: Whaddya say～!? Humph, I ain't gonna save you if you're attacked by a robot.

Ace: That's my line. Don't get lost wandering around on your own.

Ace: Anyway, [Yuu], you better not leave my side, especially 'cause you can't use magic.

[nods]

Ace: Eh, I mean, I guess we don't really run into any of those robots at night anyway, so I think you'll be alright.

Grim: Alllright, so let's get this patrol on the road. Follow me!

[Uninhabited Island – Tropical Forest]

Ace: Wheew～ The breeze's nice. It's great to have since it's still pretty humid at night.

Ace: I was worried what would happen bein' stranded on this deserted island and all…

Ace: But thanks to us having that cottage, I'd say we're survivin' pretty comfortably.

Ace: If we didn't have Stitch or our upperclassmen, we'd probably have been stuck sleeping in that cave the whole time.

Ace: Thanks, Stitch.

Stitch: Ehe!

Grim: Funyaa! Hey, I also was out there collecting vines and branches and fruits and any other stuff out there we could use!

Ace: Sure, you're helping in your own little way, but when it comes to the fruit, you were basically eating them as soon as you found them.

Grim: That’s… Uh… Yeah, I was tasting to make sure it was good! It woulda been bad if you all got upset stomachs, after all!

Ace: If you eat everything yourself, then that's no longer taste testing.

Ace: Eh, I mean, it's not like I really want fruit, anyway. All of Floyd-senpai's dishes were totally delish.

Ace: The white fish sauté, the seafood simmered in coconut milk, the carpaccio, and that fruit salad...

Ace: All those dishes tasted like they came right out of a restaurant. There's no way I'd be able to go back to normal food after that.

Stitch: Right!

Grim: I wanna barbeque again! I can't get enough of that juicy, savory flavor of all that shellfish～

1. The grilled shrimp was delicious.

Ace: Totally. It's gotta be the fact that all these ingredients are super fresh that it tastes so good.

2. The meat was good, too.

Ace: I totally get it. I'm still a growing boy, y'know? Fish is good and all, but it's just not enough without some actual meat.

Ace: The cottage and food are getting' more and more extravagant, so it really feels like we're at a private beach resort.

Ace: Gettin' to be more of a celebrity getaway, 'stead of us being stranded. Honestly, I've always wanted to experience something like this.

[Grim's stomach growls]

Grim: Funyaa～ …All that talk of food's making me hungry. Hey, hey, why don't we go back to the cottage already?

Grim: The other guys are also out patrolling, so they'll all be fine without us.

Ace: Don't be stupid, Grim. Riddle-ryōchō and Azul-senpai are still at the cottage.

Ace: If it's found out that we slacked off, we'll definitely lose our heads.

Ace: C'mon, we're basically living that resort lifestyle, no one wants to be wearing that heavy collar around. Let's just do our job and patrol.

Ace: And besides, Gantu's capturing robots won't pop out at us, so… Just going on a stroll while chattin' it up ain't bad once in a while.

Ace: Honestly, being around my Housewarden, or my basketball clubmates day in and day out just kinda tires me out.

1. Yeah, seems like.

Ace: I knew you'd get me.

2. Doesn't look like it to me…

Ace: You don't get it at all. 'Sides, it's called being polite not showing how tired I am!

Ace: Putting that aside… This has been pretty great, hasn't it? We all got to go surfing together, too.

Ace: Whatever else there might be, don't you think this is turning out to be an amazing and memorable summer?

[Uninhabited Island - Tropical Forest]

Ace: Putting that aside… This has been pretty great, hasn't it? We all got to go surfing together, too.

Ace: Whatever else there might be, don't you think this is turning out to be an amazing and memorable summer?

Ace: Sucks that my phone battery died so I couldn't take any pictures…

Ace: But when we get back to campus, we totally gotta brag to Deuce that we had an awesome vacation on a tropical island.

Grim: Yeah! Deuce is probably super depressed right now.

1. It would have nice if we could all have come together.

Ace: I wonder～ Well, I guess he does have a ton of stamina, so he might have been super useful gathering water and food.

2. It would be nice to come together next time.

Ace: EH, NEXT TIME!? I mean, sure, we're having fun and all, but I definitely don't want to get stranded like this a second time.

Ace: But hey, I guess I feel sorry for him that he was the only one left behind.

Ace: Guess it wouldn't be too bad to invite Deuce and we all go somewhere together for summer vacation.

Stitch: Ohana?

Grim: Hm? You talking about Deuce? Yeah, he's another one that I look after.

Ace: I question who's looking after who, here…

1. He's our friend. 2. We get along well.

Stitch: Great!

[rustle, rustle]

Ace: Hm? Did you guys hear something behind us?

Grim: Probably just the leaves rustlin' in the wind. Look at you, a real worrywart.

1. Huh? Where'd Stitch go? 2. Wait. Stitch is gone!

Ace: Stitch? If you're still here, say something.

Ace: No way. I got a bad feeling…

Ace: EH!?

Grim: Hey! Stitch! You better not be trying to scare me… HRMPH!

Ace: Shhhh!!! Both of you stay quiet.

Ace: I knew it… Something huge is coming this way.

Ace: Is it an enemy? Shoot, of all times to show up, it had to be right when we lost Stitch.

[rustle, rustle, rustle!]

Grim: Eek… Th-Those footsteps are getting closer!

Ace: I'll do what I can to stop them. So you two need to head back to the cottage and go get my Housewarden and Azul-senpai.

Ace: When I give you the signal, run and don't look back. …It'll be fine. I'll be able to fight them off, at least until you get back.

Ace: …Here we go.

Ace: [YUU], GRIM! RUN!!!

???: GRAAAWR!!!!

Ace: I WON'T LET YOU PASS ME!

Ace: I'll beat yo… Uh, wait. Huh?

Floyd: Boo～! Whaddya think, did I scare you?

Ace: FLOYD-SENPAI!? AND STITCH!?

Ace: O-Oh, come on～～! Don't scare me like that!!

Floyd: Aha! Look how scared you were, Crab-chan. Hilarious!

Stitch: Yahahaha!

Ace: Hey, you, Stitch～! You totally abandoned us when you realized Floyd-senpai was near, didn't you?

Ace: And here I was praising you so much, and that's how you repay me?

Floyd: Just let it go. "I won't let you pass me," you said? Don't think I've ever said that kind of line before.

Floyd: [whistles] Crab-chan, you're so coool～ You thought so too, right, Shrimpy-chan?

1. You were totally cool. 2. Thanks for protecting us!

Ace: Ughhhhh! Floyd-senpai, stop teasing me!

Ace: And the rest of you better not join in, either! Don't tell anyone about what just happened.

Grim: Nyahaha, maybe I will, maybe I won't～

Ace: If Trey-senpai or Cater-senpai, or even Deuce hears about it… They won't ever let me live it down.

Floyd: Ah, don't get all crabby on me. There's some chilled jelly waiting for us when we get back to the cottage.

Ace: Whose fault do you think this is…

Ace: No, it's fine, I guess I am pretty hungry, so I'll take that jelly and call it even.

Ace: Sigh, I feel so tired all of a sudden. And the best way to get rid of this icky feeling is…

Ace: To eat some delicious food again tomorrow with everyone and just have as big a blast as I possibly can!

Requested by Anonymous.

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 9)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.1k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I love that picture of lance,, he looks so cute mwah}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance was so excited, he hadn't been back to Canada in so long it felt great to be back.

Lance got to the paddock with his dad, feeling like a little kid again as he walked next to him, it felt great outside. He was in a short sleeved Racing Point shirt, his hair having more body than usual as he walked and talked with his dad

"Are you confident in the car? I know this seasons been tough on you but we're always trying to improve the car for you and Nico."

"I am, Dad, I'm not sure what keeps going wrong. Maybe I'm not good enough yet?"

"Don't say that, Lance, I know you're good enough, it just takes some getting used to."

Lance nodded, his dad was probably right but he knew how people felt about him and with how he's performing he couldn't help but doubt himself. He just hoped that he'd at least finish his home race.

Qualifying came and went, he was embarrassed to see how he'd done. His mind hadn't been wandering like at the last Grand Prix so there was no reason for him to qualify 17th while Nico qualified 6th.

"I'm sorry" He said on the radio, Brad quick to tell him it was okay and they'd do better tomorrow, Lance was determined to do better tomorrow, he had to do decently considering the fact that now there were two Canadians on the grid so the crowd was practically split in half.

Lance hoped Brad was right, he was sick of feeling like he was letting his team down.

Fernando came over as usual to greet Lance, having qualified on pole (also as usual).

Lance was happy to see him, he was glad the Spaniard wasn't as busy as in England, he wondered if he would've done better had he not seemingly avoided him all weekend.

"Lancito! Is home race time" He sounded more excited than Lance, wrapping an arm around the taller boys shoulder

"You already had your home race, Nando" Lance teased, smiling down at the Spaniard

"Ay, we are friends no?" He asked, Lance nodding to confirm they were in fact friends "Exactly! Any home of a friends is a home of mine"

He rolled his eyes, trying to hold back a smile at the comment, he liked thinking about how him and Fernando were friends, being casually close like this made Lance's heart flutter. He adored being friends with the World Champion.

Lance was the first one to look for Fernando on the paddock the next day, finding him in the middle of an interview.

He tried to stay quiet as he crept up behind him, putting his finger to his lips to tell the interviewer to not say anything.

"...Si, the car is spectacular, little problems here and there but our engineers are always quick to fix all errors."

"Of course, now, let's ask the questions the fans really want to hear. Fernando, people are still wondering about you and the Racing Point driver, Lance Stroll's, relationship, anything to comment?"

"I adore Lance, we spend a lot of time together and he's truly brilliant, he'd be one of the best on the grid if he just had a car that could showcase his talent"

Lance couldn't help but smile, face flushing pink as he heard how the older man was praising him

"No need to flatter me, Nando" Lance laughed, speaking up and moving to stand next to Fernando

"Mi sol, when did you get here?" Fernando's face lit up, quick to pull the boy closer as he forced him into the interview, neither of them noticed how the womans face changed after hearing such an affectionate nickname be used so openly between the two drivers.

"I was gonna scare you but you were talking so nicely I felt bad" Lance smiled at Fernando, completely forgetting they were being filmed and the World Champion was in the middle of an interview.

"So mature, Lancito" Fernando rolled his eyes, not surprised at the boys actions

"I know, right?" Lance nodded, finally looking away from Fernando and to the interviewer "Right, I'll let you finish. Don't talk about me too much" Lance teased Fernando then nodded to the woman behind the camera and headed back to his garage, glad he wasn't the one being interviewed this time.

The race came and went, Lance managed to make up a good bit of places but just barely missed points, finishing in 12th.

He knew no one was upset with the outcome because anything is better than a DNF but not getting points at his home race hurt more than not finishing another race.

Fernando ended up winning, obviously, and Lance figured because "any home of a friends is a home of his" he should go watch the older man on the podium at his "home race."

Fernando had grown accustomed to seeing the Canadian under him while he was on the podium, knowing he was there managed to make the celebration better. Any time Lance was around he made everything better for Fernando, as if just his presence brought luck to the Spaniard.

As the Spanish anthem played he couldn't help but look down at Lance, smiling softly as the boy gazed up at him. The camera then cut to Lance, broadcasting the shared looks between the drivers for the whole world to see, it really is great to see drivers have such great sportsmanship.

Like clockwork Fernando made his way to Lance afterwards, pulling him into his arms "You did so good today, Lancito" He praised, proud of the rookie even if he didn't score points.

"You literally won, Nando" Lance laughed, pulling back to look at the World Champion

"I stayed in first basically the whole race, your overtakes were brilliant, mi sol" He gushed, having asked his engineer throughout the race to update him on the boys spot, as if Lance was a threat to him.

"Thank you, Nando, you're too kind."

"Do you want to go out with me?" The Spaniard asked suddenly, Lance becoming visibily shocked at the question

"Go out with you?"

"Si, you are hungry, no?" Fernando seemed confused, unsure why the rookie was so surprised at the suggestion, he literally flew almost a whole day to Australia to spend a week with him (and Mark)

"God, Nando, I really need to teach you how to word things better" He smiled, wrapping an arm around Fernandos shoulder "Let me treat you to dinner, race winner"

[cibeeorsomeshit]

teach him your handwriting (ao3)

fluff; established relationship

Blitzø slumped into Stolas’ lounge chair and groaned about paperwork fucking up his life for the eighth time in the past two weeks. Stolas couldn't help but feel like he was missing something.

“Blitzø, darling, do you need help?”

“He finally fucking got it.” Blitzø rolled over and onto Stolas, burying his face into the covered puss that had no right being this soft to lie on. “Moxxie keeps bitching at me to hire someone or get my shit together.”

“I see. And you wish to—hire me?”

“What? No, I can't focus if you're there.” Blitzø groaned immediately and pinched Stolas’ thigh hard enough that it would have bruised if it were anyone but Stolas. “You didn't hear that. I didn't say that.”

“Of course.” Stolas managed to comply before the urge to scoop his lover up and kiss him senselessly overwhelmed him. “How may I help you then?”

“Tell me how you do all those boring admin work. You go through them like drug addicts with a bathtub full of coke.”

“How classy,” Stolas said dryly. “I'm just a faster reader, I suppose”

A beat of silence. Blitzø turned his face so it was no longer smothered between Stolas’ legs and started playing with the fine down feathers on his wrist.

“I can't read very well.”

“I know.”

“Most of the words don't make sense. Moxxie is less of a prissy princess than you but he still came from money. Got all the proper education and all that crap. Our imp circus didn't really — It's not like we're legally required to be educated.”

“Actually, it is a legal requirement for children in entertainment to have 180 days of schooling in a year—”

“No one in hell gave two fucks about legal requirements! We didn't even have safety nets, you think they'll hire a teacher?”

“Well, if you want, I could teach you.”

“You have better things to do than to teach me how to fucking look at words, Stolas.”

“There are rarely things better than spending time with you, Blitzø.”

“…this isn't some weird sexy teacher kink, is it?”

“You think I'm sexy?” Stolas hurriedly pushed down his urge to have every part of Blitzø kissed at least twice, more if Blitzø was in a good mood and let him.

“Fuck you. You know what you look like.”

“I don’t want to overstep.” Stolas pulled Blitzø upright so they faced each other, which was exactly the position Blitzø didn't want to have this conversation in. “I know I can be overwhelming when it comes to things I’m passionate about and it definitely doesn't help that this involves words and you…”

“Ugh, oh my god, don't — you know I don’t think—I just need your he—fuck, I can’t say it. I'm going to be sick.”

Stolas’ smile was all gooey. “Will you satisfy my desire to spend time with you under the pretense of helping you with readings?”

The vaguely nauseated twitches to Blitzø’ mouth smoothed out, along with the rest of his body.

“If that's what you want, you attention whore.” Blitzø half-said, half-purred as he curled up in Stolas’ lap, back spines flared up in pleasure as Stolas’ finger massaged between his horns.

“Thank you for indulging me,” Stolas said, in the most indulgent tone since the beginning of hell, probably.

Spending time with Blitzø in his study or in the kitchen or on the bed pouring over books was what Stolas imagined heaven to be like. They scribbled in the margin of books, Stolas annotating or explaining, while Blitzø took in things in the fascinating way he did. Stolas was enjoying it all way too much to realize his mistakes.

A pile of papers and sticky-notes were dropped onto his desk.

“Ah,” Stolas said, very regal and dignified and not panicking at all. “It seemed I forgot I had some prior engagement I forgot about, but I’m sure you can manage without me. You’ve improved so much, you know—and my library is your to use, so I think I’ll just—”

“Stolas, what the actual fuck.” Blitzø was standing on the desk and towering over Stolas, presumably to assert dominance, even though he did that very well already at ground level.

“To be fair, you told me you don’t read them.”

“Yeah, because I go cross-eyed at your fancy rich people cursive.”

Most of the papers are dented and crumbled because Stolas folded them into little owls or lizards and had them sneak into Blitzø’s office when he was gone. Blitzø always took pictures when he came back and sent them to Stolas, but never indicated that he read them, or even opened them, let alone—

“I didn’t know you kept these.” Stolas said weakly.

Blitzø’s face darkened. “Yeah, well. I have a drawer for them.”

“You do?”

“That’s—fucking hell, that’s not the point! You were just never going to—shit, goddamn it, God fucking damn it!”

Stolas realized Blitzø was genuinely and not simply comically upset, and that made him rather miserable. “I’m sorry,” said Stolas, in a small voice. “I didn’t mean for them to be so upsetting.”

“Well, they are!”

Stolas started to gather all of them and deliberated between the fireplace or some exorbitant spell, maybe he would throw himself into the mix as well. A few blissful moments of oblivion sounded perfect right about now.

But Blitzø snatched all of them back before Stolas could finish and hissed with every part of him, clutching them to his chest with a sort of animalistic protectiveness. Stolas was baffled.

“You’ve been writing me love letters for—for so long and I didn’t even know.” Blitzø bared his fangs. “I thought they were just smut! I made fun of them to people! To you! And you let me!”

“I’m sorry.” Stolas repeated, and stood up when he noticed a shine to Blitzø’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, darling.”

Blitzø bumped his forehead to Stolas’ chest, sunk in, wetting the feathers there. “Why do you let me treat you badly?”

Stolas wrapped his arms around Blitzø tight enough to cut off air. Blitzø forced the words out anyway: “I’ve been trying so hard to make up for the way I was with you before. Now I just keep thinking about how you felt when I fucking…tell you I don’t read them, or that it’s just cluttering up my office, likes they’re garbage. Fuck, Stolas.”

“Please don’t cry, Blitzø. It doesn’t matter now. You’ve been so good to me, don’t you understand?”

“Were you upset? When I said those things?”

“Darling…”

“Were you?”

Resigned, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for apologizing.”

Blitzø needed that, to know he was forgiven. He finally wrapped his arms around Stolas. Legs, too. And tail. Sotlas happily sustained all his weight.

“Do you want to take a rain check on our lesson today?” Stolas asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Blitzø mumbled.

“What would you like to do? We can watch a movie, or I can have someone prepare the spa room—”

“I want you to read to me.”

“What?”

Blitzø stuffed all the letters right into Stolas’ face. “Read them to me.”

“W-well, that’s quite embarrassing…”

“And I’ll reply to them.” Blitzø removed his face from Stolas’ chest and glared up at him, made completely non-threatening with the snot dripping down his face and the way his tail caressed Stolas’ back. “Prepare some fucking coffee, sweetheart, because I don’t care if it takes all night. I’m replying to every single fucking one, and I’m going to do it when I’m balls deep inside you too. Make sure it really gets in there until you never forget.”

“O-oh.” The sensitive place between Stolas’ legs tightened and he could probably just hump Blitzø there like that and finish, but he was so desperate for Blitzø to fulfill his promise that through some sort of miracle he controlled himself long enough to get them back to his bedchamber. And all night it took, alright. Blitzø hadn’t got an ounce of regret when he showed up for work the next day completely sleep-deprived.

It was all good though, since a paper owl was waiting for Blitzø in his office.

[lefaystrent]

Me, Myself, and These Guys Who Kinda Look Like Me Ch. 6

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Thomas/The Sides

Summary: It starts with dreams. Then Thomas starts seeing the dream people in the waking world.

Thomas doesn't know how to bring it up to anybody or if he even should at this point.

AKA, Thomas has to acknowledge the six colorful characters in the room, much to their long-awaited delight.

Ao3 Link: click here

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The food goes in the microwave and the others sit in the living room. Logan sits leg over knee on one end of the couch. On the opposite end, Roman has both feet planted on the ground, forearms on knees. Patton folds himself on the ground and uses Roman's leg as a backrest. Virgil scales the back of the couch and sits above everyone, back to the wall.

Thomas takes a deep breath. He can do this.

He doesn't want to just stand before them. That'd feel too much like lecturing. Besides, this could take a while. He positions himself in the middle of the couch, situated in the corner of the L where he has a good view of everyone.

"First things first," he says, clearing his throat. "How do we get the others here?"

Roman shifts, mouth set in a serious line. He looks around the tv area as if they'll pop up there. "Remus? Can you come out?"

"We need you to come out," Patton chimes in. "Both of you? Please."

"Can they hear?" Thomas asks.

"Yes, with enough intent, we can hear each other from our rooms," Logan explains. "Whether they choose to respond is up to them."

"Don't you mean whether Remus has the choice to respond?"

To that, Logan doesn't answer. It's for the best. Thomas, usually so patient, struggles to find a happy medium amongst his roiling emotions. Thomas didn't have to sound so spiteful just then. He's not really proud of it. He doesn't want to keep going in that direction.

Virgil runs his hands through his hair, suddenly very aggravated. "Dude, he's right, let's just talk about this already and stop being super shady. Thomas isn't fragile and this is literally his life we're invading. He deserves to know."

"I wouldn't say invading, kiddo."

"Yeah? What would you say then?"

"Keeping him company? Look, I know this probably could have been handled better-"

"You think?"

"Stormcloud, please take a moment. You're lashing out."

"I wasn't even on board with it in the first place!" Virgil emphasizes, but he puts in the effort to pace his breathing and lessen the venom in his words. He pushes the agitated energy into bouncing his foot against the cushion. "He was the one who said it was for the best, and I said it was stupid, but I didn't want to push when all of this-" he gestures at everything and everyone, "is not a situation anyone can prepare for, so who the hell knows what's best? We don't, and we shouldn't pretend to know, and carrying on like that will just make Thomas hate us."

"While your concerns are valid, saying that Thomas will hate us falls under a cognitive distortion known as catastrophizing. Perhaps Thomas would not agree and feel frustrated; however, that does not mean he will figuratively jump straight to hate. In fact, I think his endeavor to discuss this with us now is a testament to his willingness to improve communication between us."

"That's exactly it," Thomas concedes, and he shares a look with Logan. Logan gives a nod, acknowledging his want for a truce. "It's not easy, but we need to talk and establish some boundaries. This... this doesn't seem to be going away. I'm still seeing you, and if we're going to live together, we can't be stepping on each other's toes or shutting each other out."

Roman nods along with his words. He laces his fingers together. "Yeah, okay. I'm on board."

"Me too," Patton says. "We want to show you more consideration, Thomas."

"Not just me, Patton," and if Thomas lets frustration seep into his voice, that just goes to show how much they're missing the point. "With each other too. I'm not the only person here. You're people too, you guys. You're real. I don't know how you're here, but you're real, and you're just as important. Which also means that I'll need to be considerate of you guys too."

"You don't owe us anything," Virgil rebuffs, and it's the way that it sounds stifled and stressed and self-deprecating, that it gets to Thomas.

"And you don't owe me anything either," Thomas urges. "Not beyond like, roommate courtesy. Because that's what we are now. Roommates in my one-bedroom apartment. Roommates that are stuck with each other whether we like it or not."

There are a couple of winces and Thomas backtracks.

"Okay, I shouldn't have said 'stuck with'. I don't like the connotations of that."

"Doesn't make it any less true," Roman says, but he smiles in sympathy.

Thomas shrugs. "Either way, no one got a choice in this. But the choices on how we handle it after? That's what matters. And while I understand where Bowler Hat is coming from, I don't think it's healthy for him to feel like he has to avoid me when we're going to have to learn how to live together. Whatever he looks like, he shouldn't have to be ashamed or scared of how I'll react. And as for Remus, he uh, okay he's exuberant and maybe got a little ahead of himself. But that's the kind of thing we need to talk about after, not just shove it away. Or shove him away."

"Aww, you do care!"

Thomas blinks and glances over. Behind the couch by Logan, Remus's top half if visible, his arms folded over the top of the couch. He appears completely unruffled by whatever treatment he received from Bowler Hat.

"Took you long enough," Roman snorts.

"Sorry, I had a little reptile dysfunction issue."

"Never mind, you can go back to the hole you crawled out of."

"No, no, no, we just talked about this," Thomas says. He turns to Remus. "Thank you for joining us."

Remus beams and hops over the back of the couch effortlessly to plop beside Thomas. Like right beside him. He slides an arm over Thomas's shoulders and presses up against the full-length of his side.

"Thank you for missing me," Remus purrs, eyes at half-mast, and a big part of Thomas's brain traffic jams. Remus is about as tall as Thomas is, maybe taller with his heeled boots. And his build isn't that much larger than Thomas's, and yet it feels like he's towering over him.

Thomas gulps and loses all ability to speak.

"Remus, you shouldn't-" Patton begins, but he never finishes. Likely, he's torn between reprimanding Remus and bearing in mind how upset Thomas was at Remus being pushed away.

This though? This is too much. Thomas can't think. What were they talking about?

"Remus, we were just having a conversation about personal boundaries," Logan says from somewhere far, far off from faraway land. He tugs on Remus's arm, not harshly, just pointed. "We would like you to join the conversation, after you remove yourself from Thomas. Consent is an important part of communication."

Remus's playful smirk diminishes. He gives Thomas a considering once over.

"Do you want me to remove myself?" Remus asks lowly, staring with rapt attention.

Did Thomas?

Okay, sue him for a moment's hesitation. Yes, yes he did want Remus to move. This is way too intimate and tossing his thoughts in a spin cycle.

Thomas nods his head vigorously.

"Then remove I shall," Remus says, sounding unbothered but slowly untangles himself. He scooches over closer to Logan, and Thomas feels like he can breathe again.

"Okay, um," Thomas starts eloquently. He feels himself blushing and curses himself internally. He's frazzled enough to blurt out, "I just want to put out there that I don't mind touch, but Logan's right, consent is important."

"Consent is sexy."

"Yes, Remus. Thank you. We shall all endeavor to be sexy- I mean important! I mean- Communication! We're communicating, damn it!"

"I don't endeavor to be sexy. I achieve," Roman says suavely because of course he does.

"More like overachiever," Virgil snarks.

"Are you calling me more than sexy?"

Virgil thinks back over his own words carefully and promptly shuts the fuck up. He throws his hood up over his head and the material swallows up his embarrassment. It's pretty adorable actually.

Thomas slaps lightly at his cheek as if that will suppress the gay inside him.

"We're getting off track," he notes. "What about Bowler Hat?"

"Oh, he's still in my room," Remus supplies. He stretches his long legs out and crosses them at the ankles. "He said we could carry on without him. He just wants us to give you the dirty deets beforehand. He'll pop up after."

"Oh, okay. Wait, you guys can go to each other's rooms?"

"Nah, just him."

The interdimensional pocket planes that Logan said were specific to each of them? That only they could go to? If Bowler Hat can move freely between all of them while the others can't, what does that mean?

Patton explains, "The rest of us can't, but J- I mean, Bowler Hat is the only one of us who has managed to come into our rooms. We're not sure how he does it, and he's not able to explain it well either. It's something he's always been able to do. We've tried before, but it's never worked."

The rest of them more or less nod to support the point. Thomas stows that knowledge away in a bin for later. He's not sure what he'll do with that information, but it seems noteworthy.

"So, what's his deal then?" Thomas asks. "Respectfully. What does he look like that you guys think he'll scare me?"

"He looks like part snake," comes Virgil's muffled voice. He's tightened his hoodie strings to the point that he looks a little ridiculous. "There, I said it."

"Part...snake?"

"It's um, this part of his face?" Patton trails his fingers over the left half of his face. "There are scales, and his eye is a different color."

"Ask how far the scales go," Remus challenges.

Thomas does not ask how far the scales go.

"Like legit scales?" Thomas asks for clarification. "Like a naga or something?"

Logan nods. "Vaguely similar to some depictions, just sans the snake tail bottom. He has fangs as well."

Fangs?

Thomas imagines Bowler Hat smiling.

Nope, not helping. Stop it.

"He's not like, evil or a monster or anything," Patton tells Thomas, mistaking his furrowed brows for apprehension. "He's a good person."

"He's just a snake boy," Roman agrees.

Thomas slaps his forehead. "Oh my gosh, that's why you guys kept making snake jokes about him! That's why you called him Bananaconda, oh my gosh, it makes so much sense now."

Roman preens. "Thank you, I'm quite proud of that one."

"Okay, he's a snake man. Part snake man. Why not?"

Virgil peers out skeptically from the hole of his hood. "That's it?"

"Why not? At this point, you guys could tell me pretty much anything and I'd probably believe you."

"I can fart fire."

Thomas points at Remus. "See there? Like that. Totally believable."

"Well this was terribly anticlimactic," Roman mutters. "You might as well get out here now, Fangilicious!"

"Who's she? Never heard of her," Bowler Hat announces, walking down the stairs. One hand glides down the banister in an unhurried motion. He carefully doesn't look in Thomas's direction.

"The gang's all here!" Patton cheers. Thomas wonders if he's trying to lighten the mood.

"I've never heard of gangs in my life," Bowler Hat says with an utmost grave expression that Thomas cannot take seriously. Not that Thomas is paying much attention to his words.

As they banter, Thomas watches enraptured. Because standing before them is very much a part snake man. His eyes trace over the left side of Bowler Hat's face, and his brain tries to tell him it must be make-up, and the slitted eye could be a contact lens. Also, Thomas could wake up any minute and this would all be a dream.

It's not a dream. It's scales cascading from temple to jaw and disappearing into his neckline. Green blends into yellow in a iridescent ombre, and the colors shimmer in the ceiling light. The line of his mouth extends further than it should on the left side, and as he talks, Thomas catches a glint of fang.

It's a compelling exhibit of fine jewelry that beckons him closer. Thomas rises to his feet and walks over. Bowler Hat is good at keeping a composed facade. However, he can't ignore Thomas when the man stands directly in front of him. He glances at Thomas, and wow. The left eye really is slitted and golden with flecks of green and amber brown. He's caught half in a transformation, as if any second he'll become a true snake.

"Would you like to take a picture? It will last longer," Bowler Hat comments airily.

Thomas wants to ask if they would even show up in a picture. He thinks they should do a science experiment and give it a go.

What comes out of his mouth is a string of unintelligible high-pitched trilling. Thomas flaps his hands and bounces up and down and finally shapes words in his vocalizations. "That's so cool!"

Bowler Hat flinches and stares at him critically. He looks either constipated or like he thinks Thomas has lost his mind. "I....totally knew you were going to say that. Please keep gawking like I'm an animal on display at the zoo."

"No, no, it's really cool," Thomas tries again. He doesn't know how to assure the man that he isn't trying to gawk, he's just excited. "That's so cool. You're cool!"

"What's cooler than being cool?" Patton asks.

"Ice cold!" Roman and Remus holler.

"Actually, we are most likely room temperature due to not being able to produce body heat."

Bowler Hat tuts at Logan. "You heard the man, I'm cool. The coolest. How does it feel to be less than in my presence?"

Virgil calls him a dork and Remus says something about whale anatomy, but Thomas is still too busy making star eyes at Bowler Hat.

"They're so pretty," Thomas coos, and by sheer impulse he reaches up and cups the side of his scaled face.

In hindsight, they literally just had a conversation about the importance of consent. But a possessed fascination grips Thomas and draws him in. It isn't a conscious decision. His hand is suddenly there, and Thomas is transfixed at the smooth slide of scales under his fingertips. The cheekbone juts out a bit more than the other side, more angular like the jaw. There's much less of an eyebrow on this side too. It doesn't detract in the slightest. It's so pretty and lovely and feels nice.

"Oh."

Thomas comes back to himself enough that he takes in Bowler Hat's expression. His mouth hangs gently open and the composure from before is gone. He's looking back into Thomas's eyes, lost and yet like he's realized something of infinite importance.

The rest of the room melts away. The filter of thoughts running through Thomas's brain disconnects. He thinks he should step back, but physically he cannot move his hand. Strangely, it doesn't worry him as much as it should. He's more inclined to drink in the unreserved reverence in the other's eyes. A flush rises in the more human side. A flash of interest passes, an idea that maybe Thomas has seen him somewhere before. A familiarity that can't be placed.

Thomas's thumb caresses over the scales and brushes over the corner of his lips. Bowler Hat's eyelids flutter, and rather suddenly his knees buckle.

"Janus!" a couple of people exclaim. Roman has thrown himself forward and is at Thomas's elbow, but Thomas has managed to mostly catch the other before he falls completely.

"I'm fine, completely fine," Bowler Hat wheezes. He's gripping at the front of Thomas's shirt to steady himself. Thomas returns the hold and observes him worriedly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me," Thomas apologizes profusely. He appreciates when Roman helps to stabilize the dazed snake man.

"I don't know what you're talking about, nothing happened," Bowler Hat...Janus? Is that what they just called him? He snaps at them and tries to push them away.

"You looked like you were fainting!" Roman argues.

"I was not!"

"I'm sorry," Thomas says again, not knowing what else to say.

Bowler Hat Janus jerks around to him. "Shut up! Damn you, Thomas!"

Then, much to everyone's shock, he begins to cry.

He quickly swipes at his face with shaking hands and turns away from them. "This is a completely normal reaction! Stop staring!"

Thomas looks to Roman for an explanation or an answer or just support in general. Roman seems just as perplexed, if not more so.

"I've never seen him cry before. Ever," Roman whispers. He looks more than baffled. There is fear in his eyes, like his world has tilted on its axis.

"What do we do?" Thomas hisses. This is his fault. He knows it is. And he has to make it better. He'll do anything. He can't stand it when people cry around him even more than when they argue. Especially people who are crying because Thomas made them cry somehow.

Remus appears on Thomas's other side. He prods at him, trying to silently coax Thomas in Janus's direction. His arms mime a hugging motion. There's no ounce of humor in the way he does it or in his face. He's not being silly or flirtatious. He looks just as rattled as Roman does.

Thomas listens to him and his instincts and steps around Janus to face him. The other's eyes are rimmed red and he's breathing in tiny hiccups and sniffles that he attempts in vain to contain. Thomas can't compare the person he sees before him here with the placid man from last night. It's night and day.

Thomas makes sure he sees him before holding out his arms. He doesn't take that last step. He waits with a patient smile and shows that he's there if he needs, if he wants the comfort. He'll let Janus make the choice this time.

And Janus does. He takes one look at Thomas and his lip wobbles.

Thomas finds his arms very full afterwards.

***

Holding someone while crying is probably on a list of top five trauma bonding exercises.

Janus's arms are wound around Thomas's torso and the force of his embrace punches the wind right out of his lungs. It's a desperate hold that says, "Don't you dare let go," as well as, "Please God, don't let me go." Janus's face lodges in Thomas's shoulder and refuses to move, and Thomas feels wetness trickle down against his neck along with stuttered breathing. Thomas just turns their bodies a little more away from everyone's startled gazes to help Janus hide better.

For Thomas's part, it's much easier to return the hug than he thought possible. There's a need in him to shelter, to bring close. He rubs at his cloaked back where it heaves, and he places his hand over a slightly scaled neck to provide warmth and comfort. Janus shudders at the skin-to-skin contact and merely tightens his hold. At some point, Janus's hat fell off and the hair left revealed is flat in some places and wispy in others. Thomas rests his brow against his head and whispers that it's okay, that everything is going to be okay and that he's not going anywhere.

The most baffling part is that Thomas is steadily leaking tears himself. A big softie he may be, but he's never been much of a sympathetic crier. Usually, he can keep better control over his tear ducts when he needs to be the one doing the comforting. So why is he crying? What is he feeling?

Well, he feels breath against his collar, intakes of air that grow increasingly longer and less strained. He feels Janus's weight almost boneless against him. Thomas feels glad that he has been to the gym some and that his arms are strong enough to humbly hold up a pretty scaled crying man.

He feels guilty? Yeah, he feels guilty that he made Janus cry. He feels relieved that he's letting Thomas comfort him now, because he'd feel even worse if he couldn't. He feels like there's more going on in Janus's head, in all of their heads, than Thomas can imagine.

He feels like his heart is swelling and if he lets go of Janus he might die.

This connection between him and the others...how deep does it go? The way they've interacted with him... Remus especially has been handsy today. Clingy?

Thomas squeezes his arms, testing the waters. Janus sighs at the pressure and relaxes further into him and the grounding pressure. The resulting surge of rightness dazzles Thomas and a fresh bout of tears escapes him.

Scared by his own reaction, Thomas swivels to look at the others. While they have been busy crying, the others had moved around some. Patton climbed up to sit beside Virgil, head resting against his shoulder. Virgil has a hoodie string clamped in his mouth. Not chewing, just holding it there while he stares at his hands. Roman and Remus sat back down on the couch, heads close together and whispering subtly. Oddly, they're holding hands.

Logan paces quietly behind the couch, walking back and forth from table to closet door. He's the first to notice Thomas's wide-eyed plea for help. He comes to an abrupt stop, assessing before he comes to some decision and strides over to them.

He looks Thomas over clinically and understands the priority here. Logan presses his palm against Janus's shoulder.

"Janus, if you're feeling any better, perhaps you would like to sit down? We can talk, if you are comfortable with that. We're all willing to listen. And if that seems too overwhelming at the moment, we can relocate to my room?"

It takes a solid minute until Janus gives any sign that he hears them. Slowly, ever so slowly, he eases his death grip on Thomas and retracts his arms. Finally, inch by careful inch, he lifts his head, no longer leaning against Thomas.

He avoids Thomas's gaze. His eyes flicker to the side. At least he's not crying anymore.

"I'll be alright," he says in a soft tone that Thomas has to strain to here. "Thank you for your concern. That will be unneccessary."

What a silly man. Of course it's necessary.

Thomas scoops up one of his hands and holds it until Janus glances up at him. When he gets a good look at him, he gasps.

"Why on earth are you crying?!" Janus shouts. It's not accusatory. It's rife with bafflement and worry and other emotions that Thomas cannot name.

"I dunno. I've just got a lot of emotions right now," Thomas sniffles meekly, feeling more traitorous tears leak. "I don't like that I made you cry. I'm sorry. I just want you to be okay."

"You absolutely silly man," Janus huffs in an echo of Thomas's own thoughts. It startles a little laugh out of him, and he lets Janus fuss over him. Gloved fingers wipe delicately at his cheeks and eyes, the material scratchy at his sensitive skin yet soothing in their sentiment. "Even when you're bawling your eyes out you can't help but be endearing, can you? It's criminal."

Thomas giggles and feels significantly lighter.

Janus takes charge of the situation and leads Thomas back to his spot on the couch. He goes so far as to retrieve a glass of water and a throw blanket, making sure that Thomas is well taken care of. Thomas wants to protest, but he thinks this is Janus's way of showing he forgives him while getting his own bearings straight.

"Now then." Janus stands with hands on hips, haughtiness masking the previous emotional vulnerability. He looks at Thomas expectantly. "I believe you wanted a conversation? Let's talk."

[annakie]

FIXING THE HOUSE: PART TWELVE - We Can Make It on the Outside

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View

Part 11: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B!

Hi, I know it's been like a week and a half but I was damn busy. I went to Minnesota and saw my buddies @ahab99 and @gloriousclio for a long weekend and it was fantastic! And then just generally busy since I got home, doing lots of projects for home and other personal life reasons. But there's still two posts to go after this one, so let's actually finish this!

Today we're going to talk about the garage and I think also just like, outside in general? And we'll leave the two biggest reveals for last.

Let's leave the living room and first head into the garage!

Look, the garage is not that exciting. The most exciting thing tbh was the fact that I got it like, halfway cleaned out back in July.

It's been too damn hot, YES EVEN IN OCTOBER to really finish the job after I, tbh, worked too hard on it in July, but I'm still glad I did that because of how bad it needed it, but we covered that already.

So I said this before but I made enough space to easily walk around, I put up some metal shelving for more storage/organization, and did some general tidying, so hey you can walk through it now.

There's a significant amount of stuff sitting in it that I'm waiting for a friend of mine to come get, idk when that's going to happen but I hope soon. Like a loveseat, a vacuum cleaner, a small desk etc. When those things are out, it'll be even better.

There's also several bags of clothes that need to go get donated and one bag of fandom-related shirts I was going to sell cheap here on tumblr maybe if I ever get around to it.

So one big improvement was just the fact that the drywall was starting to get real iffy. Some of it was straight up threatening to fall down. So that's fixed. I do not care that the new drywall is blue. It's a garage, I'll deal with it later, maybe. Also hey, shelving! Still messier than I want it to be. At least all that crap isn't on the floor anymore.

Also, no pic for this but apparently one of the beams across the ceiling in the garage was either loose or had come completely off the joist, maybe during the re-roofing? Anyway, Arturo fixed that, too.

So yeah, the workbench is still messy BUT.. remember way, WAY BACK in Part Two when I had no internet one night because the plug for this internet box was on the ceiling over my garage and it'd come loose, but I couldn't plug it back in because it was right over my car, which was blocked in by a dumpster?

Yeah, well, see, that won't be a problem again. Yay, I have power next to the workbench! A brand new outlet.

Crazy that there wasn't one there before. The only actual outlet nearby was against the back wall, pretty far away. And that outlet was SCARY. Very loose, felt really unsafe. It's been rewired and looks good now, too.

The most noticable improvement was this...

OK, see? Still TUFF there. It's actually a little better now. BUT... the windows! You can see through them! They don't have paint smeared on them! None of them have been shot through with a BB gun!

Look I love the kids who live across the street (and there are ALWAYS kids in that house, the kids who were kids when I moved in 21 years ago now have their own children, and there are always other kids there.) But occasionally they cause mischief and at SOME point someone shot a BB through my window and also into the siding a bit. I don't have any proof who did it or honestly exactly when, so I never confronted them, but it irked me for the last 2 or 3 years when it was there.

They were also just original to the house, and needed replacing. So now they've been replaced and look nice!

OK, enough of the dirty, stinky garage, at least until it gets actually cleaned out more.

-----

THE FRONT EXTERIOR!

The picture at the top of this post was the last picture I had from "Before" and that was taken day one of roof work back in late June or early July. The old roof, old gutters, old windows... etc. Just old and tired looking. You can see huge cracks in the driveway.

TBH it was starting to just look run down. Other problems were like, the garage door needed painting, honestly everything except the poles needed painting and that's only because they'd gotten so bad a couple of years ago that I had asked my lawn guy do it.

Obviously most of the things that improved the interior along that wall improved the exterior, like the windows and door.

All of the black trim along the fake shutters and next to the door got a fresh coat of black paint. The windows got touched up. I thought about replacing the light fixture but it's only like 10 years old so I didn't.

TBH the brick and cement could use a power wash, I need to talk to my neighbor's son about that since he does power washing. The new door especially looks so pretty. It also needed to be swept in that pic, it has since been, and the bushes trimmed.

My neighbor Veronica keeps reminding me that the bushes out front are too high, and she's right. I talked to my lawn guy about it and we decided to cut them way down in the spring when they'll start to grow back again.

Another improvement outside is security. I have a door lock camera, another camera you can't see in these pictures covering the front porch. There's a motion sensor spotlight camera over the driveway. And more stuff you'll see.

See? Camera.

New windows! Painted garage door!

The plan had been originally to power wash the driveway here. But there were those two HUGE cracks that were a problem. We filled them in with caulk(?) and cement but then you got... well, what's there. Also looked real bad.

Arturo ended up with a couple of extra bags of cement from another project. So he ended up putting a new entire layer of cement over the driveway.

He said it won't last forever, probably in the next couple of years we'll need to do a new driveway in order for it to look good, but by the time we got to this, the money was really starting to run dry.

So here's the front of the house now! It's so much better! Still has a little ways to go, but definitely not in the running for the shame of the block anymore.

Couple of other small things happened, including me washing the glass in my little lamppost, and spending $34 on ONE replacement pane that had broken long ago but it now looks fresh and whole.

There's also now a little sign you can kind of see on the door in a pleasant script that says "NO SOLICITING! Family, friends and Neighbors welcome!" I'm not sure if it's actually working or if people are just skipping my house now that it's clear I DON'T need new windows, but I haven't had any randos knock in a month or two since it went up.

---

Had Arturo make a small improvement to my gates -- there were just BIG gaps between the doors and the walls. Like you could pretty easily see my entire backyard if you wanted to peek in at either door.

So he bought and installed a border around both doors of the same cedar wood, and I had saved a quarter bucket of the stain from Joel so it got painted. I also put locks on the gates because the locks the gates came with seemed pretty easy to open from the outside with like, a coat hanger. Now... not possible.

The sidewalk is swept and most of that junk is gone now, though I'm still waiting on my friend to come get the extra granite that he requested Arturo bring for him. STOP CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE!! :D

But tbh, I don't have the funds and haven't had the time to pretty up the sides of the yard yet.

BUT... big improvements have been made on the patio!

---

You may recall that the patio was in various states of looking pretty much like this all summer.

Eventually, as we finished up projects, the patio started getting a little cleaner and a little cleaner, combined with Monday or Tuesday Morning cleanups.

Hey, an empty, but ugly, patio floor! You may recall the patio ceiling got painted and the ceiling fan went up very early.

What's this? It's just ONE color instead of three or four worn through colors? I love it!! A nice green, which, again, was a darker shade on the same card as the ceiling color. I'm probably going to need to do yearly touchups but I have the can of paint for that for at least the next year or so. Believe it or not, these are not the same greens as in the dining room, nor the master bath, or the k-- wait we'll get to that. Just a lot of shades of green in the house, all different!

The patio furniture I think I mentioned at some other point got painted from stained red to the same color as the patio ceiling. I bought new grey cushions that look fantastic with them.

I also had taken the rug that had been under my computer desk the last couple of years and washed it off in the backyard, let it dry, then rolled it up and put it in the corner of the patio and forgot about it for a month or two.

When I was finishing the final cleanout of the patio for the painting I had an idea of what to do with it!

I also, back when all this started, had bought an adirondack chair. I wanted a nice lounger to relax on in my backyard, even though I had four perfectly good matching chairs already. But I wanted to lounge. I bought it in like... June, I think? The box arrived, I dragged it to the patio and it basically became a table for two months.

Just this last week I finally unboxed it, and spent three hours putting it together. I do love it!

The rug really adds a bit of homey-ness to the patio I think. It'll probably be need to tossed in a couple of years, but for now, I really like the look.

Hey, you can also see the new bathroom window from the outside here!

I really think the patio came together well. There's an element or two still missing.

And also... what's this?

I bought a house for my feral boys Buster and Peter for the winter! I really wanted them to have somewhere protected from the elements for those long week or three where it's actually cold in Dallas in the winter. I also wanted something that looked cute and gave them both their own space.

Still working on getting them to understand that it's for them, but Peter has at least checked it out!

Buster is under a chair over there being unimpressed. But also it's still in the 60's or 70's at night so they haven't needed it yet. I'm sprinkling food and treats in and on it to get them to try to investigate at least. There are warm beds on both the top and bottom levels for them. And you can see they also have beds in the chairs/floor where I see them sleeping.

They get oral flea medication every month or so btw.

The backyard is covered with cameras covering every inch. Nice cameras that solar recharge and are in high resolution. Every entrance of the house has at least two angles on it now. I'm really happy with that setup. Plus of course monitored alarm system.

There's no perfect home security, but I feel like I've made my house an unattractive target, at least. There are also generic signs posted about the video/alarm surveillance.

ANWYAY...

Fry and Pemily have also been enjoying supervised visits outside!

Fry loves dirt. Pemily loves just chilling out. I love hanging out out there after work and chilling with them. I do want to get a little side table for the lounger, but in due time. And YES I WEAR CROCS AROUND THE HOUSE. They're comfortable, ok? :D

Still gotta get the generator hooked up, and at some point actually finish beatifying the outside, but that's gonna take more money han I have left over now. I'll keep working on it, but also right now I'm letting myself just enjoy it.

OK! Back inside next time for the last two updates!

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 4: Propaganda (Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth)

At first I was going to open my Propaganda writeup with something to the same effect of "unPOpULAr oPinIOn!: propaganda > kimono!!!!" but you know what, even something as tame as this (prefering one album over the other, you know) feels wrong to say when we're dealing with two masterpieces (and even then it's probably not that much of an unpopular opinion anyways, lol). And yeah, I'll admit, that as I hinted at yesterday, for the longest time I really did fully stand by my opinion that Propaganda is not just something I like more than KMH, but it's just objectively BETTER. Well, the funny thing about opinions is that they can change everyday and again, I really don't feel about this quite as strongly as I did before! Not to say that Propaganda isn't still my personal favourite out of these two: it very much is, and it's also much more beyond that.

It used to be EXTREMELY rare for me to listen to an album and and get super obsessed with it and listen to it on repeat, I always needed something else to mix it all with, so when it did happen, it was a very big deal. Even bigger the deal gets when such obsession leads to becoming even more obsessed with everything else put out by the band behind the album over many following months, which only happened to me twice so far... And sure enough, with Sparks, that historic entry point was Propaganda.

I think I should call this album simply addicting: that's how it felt in the beginning and honestly still does to this day. It's impossible to listen to it just once. Something about it just grabs you immediately and completely and it just NEVER gets old or overplayed, I could try to figure out what it is exactly but I've no idea, it's just that Sparks magic I suppose! But as for some of the things I can definitely say that make me love this album this much:

It just flows sooooo well. For the longest time I had no clear favourites and least favourites, they all work so amazingly as a whole package and individually too of course. I think it's a perfect album in the way that you don't even think about it when you listen to it: the sequencing and all the different ideas just work so well together, it's kind of, seamless?

Something about it feels very modern to me once again, and I must say that I still do think that it's a clear improvement over KMH in many ways: more variety, more interesting turns and twists, more energy for sure too (and I have a very big bias for high energy and "intense" music, so I can't pretend that this isn't something that matters to me a lot). And even then we have some slower tracks that don't break the flow at all, I mean, ok, maybe only one such track really, but still, that applies even moreso in that case

So all in all, yes, this is definitely one of my favourite albums in existence. It continues what KMH started while bringing in even more of that special Sparks flavor that feels completely unimitable. And it has lots of cool keyboard lines, as do... most Sparks albums, but maybe it feels more prominent for me on Propaganda since it was the first Sparks thing I listened to on repeat for hours and days on end, so that was also definitely a big part of what drew me in initially. I guess I could really just try to figure out what makes this album as freaking good as it is for hours on end but it feels like I'm already running in circles a bit here so let's give this a rest for now.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Propaganda: he-LLO SOLDIER BOY! perfect opener and lead in into the next track. I'm a HUGE fan of when Sparks do these kind of intros (gratsax.... EXOTIC CREATURES...)

At Home, At Work, At Play: not an EARLY fav but I truly think this is one of the best Sparks songs. Peak intense energy and everything else, very special all in all

Reinforcements: another very early big Sparks fav so I'm pretty partial to it and also somewhat nostalgic about it for that reason

Thanks But No Thanks: love the keyboard line especially....

Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth: the bridge especially is peak, and is that a mellotron I hear here? Or something very similar, either way, that's another certified Iconic moment

Achoo: this song makes me SO nostalgic, I don't know if it's the chord progression or something else but listening to it makes me seriously so unexplainably happy and I love the bridge here an absurd amount too. The baseline is so good also

Bon Voyage: this and Never Turn Your Back are a bit of a duo to me, both more grand in sound than the rest here perhaps, and absolutely showstopping live too

[berylgrace]

final episode review

this show has been... a rollercoaster to say the least. some thoughts (good and bad) under the cut.

the fight with ares... loved seeing percy come into his own wrt his power, wish the fight had lasted longer than literally thirty seconds... i know the idea was drawing first blood but that scene made it look easy, which it WASN'T, because he's the GOD OF WAR

olympus looked really cool

love love loved the poseidon scene, which surprised me after i was so disappointed by ep7. although it was a weird choice to have him just immediately come in and surrender, i guess we're going with the angle that he trusts percy enough to know there are bigger things at stake. still kinda weird for a prideful god tho

it's more afterwards that i enjoyed. as i said to @posallys literal minutes ago, he tells percy that the sea does not like to be restrained, while the two of them have an exchange that reads, very emotionally, as two people trying their absolute HARDEST to restrain themselves: poseidon being bound by godly rules and unable to say directly what he wants to, and percy holding back on asking the questions he's wanted to ask his entire life, being respectful, calling him sir

mixed feelings about the luke thing. i liked the atmosphere of the scene, the fireworks and celebratory vibe juxtaposed against the darkness and percy being alone with luke, but the way it played out didn't make sense. he (and annabeth) were certain it was clarisse, and had no reason to suspect luke, but we had a case of "inexplicably percy knows everything" yet AGAIN as he just... connects the dots? except there WERE NO DOTS TO CONNECT?

luke's explanation being that he didn't report clarisse bc of her supporters and needing proof - completely believable! absolutely no reason to question that.

which brings me to annabeth being there. she's supposed to be keeping an eye on clarisse, so what prompted her to follow percy and luke to the woods instead? she trusts luke, she doesn't trust clarisse. make it make sense

thankfully i don't think this will affect her defense of luke because although she heard it all (...okay), luke attacked after percy mentioned hermes. annabeth had already warned him about that, going as far as to shut off the iris message before he could mention him. so i guess in her mind she can justify the attack that way (unlike she would've been able to with the scorpion but... rip that i guess) and still believes luke is good, just misguided

"I'm here to recruit," line went hard as FUCK

the bait and switch with the sally reunion only to turn into kronos? that was rude to do to me at 2am. did not see it coming. kinda cool

postcredits with gabe just... everyone else has said it better yeah but the whole point is that sally CAN'T divorce gabe, this is her only way out without being completely ruined financially, it just takes away so much from her character. like? if she could've divorced him all that time why didn't she? i know abusive relationships are complex and people stay for certain reasons but sally only stays bc she cannot leave financially. he literally had to DIE and her to sell the statue in order to barely afford living on her own (bc in SOM, percy talks about how they struggle with money, and the skateboard shop is a treat)

so... out of 10 i would give this show like, a 5. it was just frustrating at times, paced weirdly, and i would like to see a season 2 and hope for improvements. also a big shoutout to leah's hair at the very end?? so cute i nearly cried

[duchess-kyuupid]

Hi! Your fic about Idia melted my heart.

Could I request a female reader singing Zero from Vanitas no Carte (it's in English) to Jamil at VDC because she admires and adores him?

Of course! I loved Vanitas no Carte, especially the ed song- like it's so pretty! Once again, for anyone who wants to listen along or has never heard the song, here it is! And sorry it took some time, dearie! I should be working on my college paper rn, but I've kept you waiting for long enough! Hope you enjoy <3

[Fem! Reader (no pronouns used, so it can be read as gn too), Fluff, Set in Book 5] {Uh,, this is a long one guys... About 4,600 words, for reference...Whoops, sorry not sorry I love this man to bits lol}

~Dedicating a Song to Jamil at SDC/VDC~

Okay, well, admittedly, you may have been more relieved than you should have been that you were not accepted into Vil's little group to represent the school. You always thought that your voice wasn't that great, but Grim wanted to tryout with you, and Crowley was offering to improve your living conditions at the Ramshackle dorm, so reluctantly you had agreed. You felt quite fortunate that Grim's off-tune (and frankly horrid) singing drowned out your own at the audition. However, Grim did not share those same sentiments.

"Hmph, they're missing out by not picking me, my singing is clearly superior to those two," Grim pouts as you carry him in your arms back home. He said that it'd make him feel better after basically being forced into a manager role in their group.

"Shouldn't you be proud for Ace and Deuce for making the cut? Besides, we're still helping out by letting them stay at our dorm. You'll get to watch them work themselves to the bone while you'll be getting tuna for doing basically nothing on the sidelines, isn't that a win for you?" You reason in an attempt to cheer him up a little.

"Hmm, I guess you're right! I'll be living in the lap of luxury while those two idiots do all the work!" he chuckles evilly with a mischievous smile. You supposed cheering him up wasn't such a difficult thing to do when you knew what to say.

"But don't you want to participate too?" he asks out of the blue.

"What? Me, participate? Nonono, that sort of thing isn't for me- I'm not that great, honestly. I think I'd just rather just settle with being their manager than going up there with them," you chuckle nervously.

"But you know," he chuckles, a gleam in his eyes that tells you that he's up to no good again, "I think I remember hearing a certain someone's voice singing in the middle of the night sometimes. 'Was so pretty I couldn't go back to sleep."

"I-I, well, are you sure that it wasn't just the ghosts pulling a prank on you?" your face starting to erupt in that tell-tale sign of embarrassment that revealed to Grim that he was exactly on the right track. With a haughty laugh and an evil smile, he replies,

"Nope. Asked them already, and they even said they saw you singing in the courtyard." Busted. You groan loudly and try to look away from Grim's teasing looks, but alas, as you were currently carrying him in your arms, facing yourself away from him would require you to rotate your head around like an owl- that or you'd just have to stop looking where you were walking and risk tripping over something.

"Please don't tell me how many times you heard me..." you say as your ears become redder than Riddle's hair.

"Fufufu, I don't understand why you're so embarrassed about it! You've clearly got some talent in singing- not as much as me of course, but it's still impressive for a human! So why didn't you sing like that at the audition? We could've been part of the team and had all the spotlight together!"

"Well, that's the problem," you half-heartedly laugh, scratching your cheek nervously, "I'm not a big fan of the spotlight. I've actually always wanted to be a singer, but I always got stage fright so I never went through with it."

"OHOHOHO, is my dearest Prefect of Ramshackle in need of my everlasting kindness?" you hear a sudden voice proclaim from above you and you shriek in surprise as Headmaster Crowley, quite literally, drops right in front of you out of nowhere.

"Hey! Stop showing up out of the blue like that! Ya nearly gave me a heart attack!" Grim exclaims (who may or may not have accidentally scratched your arms in his own shock). Crowley ignores Grim's complaints as he stares into your eyes with a wide, knowing smile.

"I couldn't help but overhear that you enjoy singing, and!" he emphasizes, "I just so happened to be nearby the area when you were doing your audition. I believe that should be sufficient to grant you a spot for a solo at the SDC."

"Huh?"

"You need not thank me for my generosity! I know that I am just ever so kind to my wonderful students- it is simply a part of my job as the Headmage of this amazing academy! Oh, but, there is the tiny fact that you will not be representing our school in your performance, but I'm sure that you will be more than happy with the arrangements nonetheless!" Crowley proclaims excitedly. Your mind was still reeling in confusion, as is most encounters with this man, so Grim asks in your place,

"Right, so what's the catch?"

To which Crowley gasps dramatically as if he's been hurt by Grim's question, "To think of such a thing! Why, I'm merely extending my gratitude towards one of my favorite students who I only wish to see succeed!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure you do," Grim states with a pensive look on his face.

"Buuuut, if said favorite student of mine did want to sing at the SDC competition- the solo competition is considered separate from the group acts, and thus the first place winner of the solo's will also receive a fair compensation of around 25 thousand Thaumarks! Isn't that just enticing?" At the sound of that, Grim immediately hops on board; he looks to you with excited eyes, almost begging you to accept the offer.

"Uhm, why are you asking me for this specifically, headmage?" you ask quietly.

"Why, it's as I've stated earlier, I merely wish to see you succeed! Aren't I so generous?"

"Well, I mean, you probably heard what I was saying earlier. I'm not good with crowds, so I-"

"Hush, hush with that nonsense!" Crowley interrupts you by bringing up a finger to your mouth to stop you from speaking, "I know I already promised you better living arrangements for lending the Ramshackle dorm to Vil's group, however, if you decide to agree to this solo act, then I will also arrange for free personal catering for you at Ramshackle....But only for lunch!" And he steps back from you with his hands on his hips, standing proud at his joke of an offer.

"Isn't that just like lunch at the school cafeteria? And besides, I'm not even at the dorm at lunchtime during the school week."

"Sounds like a great deal, sign me up!" Grim exclaims, despite your words.

"Wonderful, wonderful! I'm so glad that you've agreed! I look forward to your spectacular performance!" And without another word, Crowley flies away to who knows where, almost as if to avoid having to answer to whatever you had to say next.

"Grim, you're grounded from eating any tuna until after the SDC is over."

"What?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By now it was far, far too late to be changing your mind about this- if you've even had a choice in it to begin with. You wish right now that you could have just turned Crowley down when you had the chance, but now you were stuck with this. Stuck with having to come up with something for this show. Stuck here sitting in the middle of the night with only two weeks before the event, with nothing but a blank page to showcase for your 'routine.'

Half of it's because of your work as the new 'manager' for Vil's group, half of it's because you're also trying to keep up with your normal school work too, but the biggest reason why you've hardly touched it is because you just...don't know what to do.

Most of the time, the songs you'd sing out in the courtyard would be songs your parents wrote and sang to you as a child, so they became your way of connecting back to home. Sure, you've written one or two songs of your own because you really did want to become a singer, but you always felt that those songs could never compare to the ones other people would write. And now, having to watch over Vil's group like this, you can't help yourself from comparing yourself to them.

But you technically made a promise, and you were going to go through with it. So, you decided that you would not go to sleep until you've written at least one (1) verse. Unfortunately, this has resulted in you staring at a blank piece of paper for the past 5 hours, with nothing coming up in your head to write about for your song and the time was nearing almost 5 a.m. Vil was definitely going to reprimand you tomorrow for getting no sleep, but it is technically also your fault for deciding not to tell any of them about your entry.

There's no hard feelings against them, of course, it's just that, you thought that if you did decide to tell them that you were also participating in the event, maybe it wouldn't work out too well for you. Sometimes, they can be a little bit...overbearing, to put it kindly, so you didn't want them to influence the song you're writing with their strong personalities. Vil would probably make you go through his own special skincare routine, both Rook and Kalim would give you so many compliments that you wouldn't be able to find any constructive criticism, and Ace and Deuce would probably give you too much criticism, under the guise of teasing you. And Epel? You honestly don't know how he'd react. He might just be in agreement with you as you both mutually didn't want to do this, but in the end you don't see him being very helpful seeing as how well he's been doing recently.

Jamil was probably the only one you could bring yourself to trust with this. He'd give you his solid, honest opinion without being too harsh or too jokey about it. He knows a lot about a lot of different things, so he could offer some advice on your song- what to change, what might sound better, and the like. Which would be helpful, if you had anything written down to begin with.

And in your tired, sleep-deprived state, you thought it'd be a great idea to go to him and ask for advice at this hour. So you leave your room quietly, knocking upon his door to get his attention. It didn't really take very long to wake him up in this way, and he answers the door in his pajamas with his face looking like he was fully awake and ready for anything.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asks gravely as he sees the look on your face (to be fair, you almost looked like a dead person with your tired eyes and your hunched over posture).

"Not an emergency. Need advice," you mumble.

"Advice for what? Can it wait until the morning? What are you even doing up this early?" he sighs.

You take a second to respond to his questions in your sleepy, delirious state, but when your mind finally processes it, you just give him a tiny shrug and a measly, 'I dunno.'

So with yet another sigh coming from him, he gently escorts you back to your room, assuming that you're just one of those types of people who lucidly sleepwalk sometimes. But when he tries to set you back in your bed, you stubbornly stand in place, crying out, "No! I'm not going to sleep until I write something down."

"You're trying to write something?"

You nod, "Mhm, but I don't know what. My parents would write about each other. They would write about the things they love. I wanna be like them, but..." your words drift away as your mind tries to succumb to sleep.

"So you want advice on what to write?" he asks with yet another sigh, and you manage to nod your head again, stubborn as you are to not sleep until you've gotten something done. "Then my advice for you is to go to sleep. Forcing yourself like this isn't going to get you anywhere. Having a clear mind is essential to writing. And when you've got plenty of rest, go outside and try out some new things. Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery to get your inspiration going. I'll tell the others not to bother you today, so just rest for as long as you need to," he says quietly. If you were actually lucid enough to pay attention to his body language, you'd have noticed the soft looks he was giving you, or the way that he was being as gentle as possible with you as he led you back to your bed successfully.

In any case, you accepted his advice, falling dead asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow, and Jamil is left shaking his head at your (adorable) antics as he walks back to his own room.

When you woke up, it was nearly 2 in the afternoon, and as promised, no one had bothered you at all. In fact, the whole dorm was quiet, with not a single soul to be seen. Which was completely reasonable, seeing as how technically school was still in session right now and the others would have practice for a few more hours in the ballroom of the Pomefiore building after that. In other words, you had the whole place exclusively for yourself for the rest of the day.

And yet, you found something quite peculiar sitting on your bedside table. It was a tea set, with a piping hot cup of tea sitting in the middle and a small note leaning against it. Holding up the note closer to your face, you can see that it reads,

'I've used magic to make sure that the tea stays warm no matter how many hours pass, but it starts to wear off when you touch it. The tea is an herbal remedy, supposed to help you clear your mind and stay focused. I wish you luck with your writing. Signed, Jamil'

Jamil made this? For you? Your face grows red in embarrassment as you recall asking for vague advice last night (or this morning, technically). You take a sip of the tea anyway, and you could feel inspiration coming to you as your thoughts continued to wander to Jamil.

'His smile. His kindness. His determination and his thoughtfulness. There's a million different things I could write about him and yet never reach the end of all the amazing things about him.'

And for the rest of the day, it was as if your pen had a mind of its own as it flew across the paper to retell your experience of you finding something that has always been there, yet you're only just realizing it now.

~~~~~~~~~

And so finally, the day of the event had arrived. It was organized so that the groups would perform first, then the solo performers would come after, and then the results of the competition would follow that, which admittedly made you nervous because it meant that the person you've dedicated this song to will be watching you perform said song. You dreaded the idea of being so vulnerable in front of this many people, however, if it meant that you could release all of these pent-up emotions within you, then perhaps it might do you some good to let it all out...

You dressed as nicely as you could, given the limited amount of clothing you had available to you since you've come to this world, but you thought you did a pretty good job at making yourself look presentable out there.

But now, it was finally go-time. All of that preparation, the secret trips to the woods at night to practice your singing and your dancing, the little glances over to Jamil as he's practicing his own routine- all of it is going to be put to the test here and now. The only barrier between you and first place now is your conviction to sing about your love for a certain Scarabian dorm member.

Your name gets called on the speakers, and you sheepishly walk up on stage with your microphone. Your eyes instinctively begin to search the crowd for your friends, but you stop yourself before you could find them because seeing their faces might make you even more nervous than you already are. You stand in the middle of the stage for a moment as the crowd quietens and the instrumentals of your song begins.

'Jamil, I dedicate this song to you- you who gave me the inspiration to compose, you who has given me the courage to follow my dreams. To you, who I've loved for all this time without realizing it. Please, accept my feelings as I sing just for you,' you think, taking a deep breath, and you start to sing.

'Ahead in the empty distance, Fading away unanswered, I turn off the lights to see all the colors in the shadow, Travels across an instant, Far beyond tomorrow, I'm watching a faint breath send a ripple through the water'

Your voice rings out softly, with a gentleness most wouldn't expect for a song appearing at SDC as it echoes through the stadium. And you smile as you get lost in your thoughts again about Jamil. He has always been the type of person to stay in the shadows, always trying his best to avoid any unnecessary attention being drawn to him, but alas, it was exactly because of this that his presence made such faint ripples in your heart to begin with. As the music kicks up a notch, you begin to start your carefully choreographed dance that accompanied this song.

'When I lose myself, I become you, Ichi kara juu leads me back to, Here inside your veil, Finer than a grand view, We'll take a dive, Not even tides can come between us,'

And you recall clear as day how when you were basically delirious from sleep deprivation, your mind's first thoughts were to go to him. Because you knew that you could trust Jamil with anything (despite his many warnings that you shouldn't trust him as much as you do). Your dance suddenly changes its slow momentum as the song progresses to be a bit faster.

'Was it you who I've been searching for, Spent my life alone and waited for, So tenderly and endlessly, You made me whole, you made me whole'

Coming to Twisted Wonderland has been in equal parts exciting and fun, yet so terribly lonely for you. You were lonely even in your own world, never having many friends who would support your interests, but Jamil always made you feel like you could be yourself around him. He was always just,,, safe.

'And the walls I built they melt away, With every touch in your embrace, Every day, every night, every note I play, You made me whole, you made me whole.'

You've become truly entranced into your thoughts, the lyrics and the dance movements coming to you naturally as your mind focuses on other things. From the crowd (that you've long since forgotten about), the people listening in were stunned to silence, enchanted by your voice and your song. Even your group of friends were staring at you with wide eyes as you continued to sing. Especially Jamil.

'How could I have been so blinded, Running away in circles, I hear my doubts drop, When I see you in the mirror,

Right beneath the surface, Washed away my sorrows, I feel your heartbeat, As it echoes through the hour'

Jamil can only stare at you with his eyes as wide as saucers, just like everyone else. Has he ever heard you sing before? No, he doesn't think he has, but he knows that you auditioned with Grim, Ace, and Deuce in front of Rook and Vil, so with a voice as beautiful as yours, why weren't you picked to represent the school? There must have been some sort of mistake in the auditioning process. You clearly had more talent than Ace and Deuce combined...

'When I lose myself, I become you, You are the moment I belong to, Here without our names,'

'Yes, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet... Jamil is so much more than just a servant to the Al-Asims. Oh, to be rid of the Viper name so that he no longer needs to suffer like he has.'

'We're back to being brand new, There's no need to hide, Just you and I until forever'

And as you repeat the chorus, Jamil can't help but to feel like certain parts of this song are quite familiar to him. Like the lyrics are grabbing hold of his heart and caressing it with the tenderness of a lover.

'Was it you who I heard through the door, When I cried and had no place to go? Every day, every night, every note I play, You made me whole, you made me whole.

Tracing and tracing the sunset, Appearing a zero and finally, Now I remember, Oh I have never lived a day without you

Untie the layer of memories, Louder we spin with the melody You are the only, only one for me'

No no no, this couldn't possibly be what he's thinking. This song is clearly a romantic ballad for someone that you must've fallen in love with at some point in time (either here or in your world). This 'familiarity' is just something his mind is making up. And just as he begins to dismiss his initial thoughts, you happen to finally make eye contact with him. You repeat the chorus again with a look in your eyes that convey everything that you're singing and more as you lose yourself to the music.

'I'll never believe I'm alone, In the end, we begin, 'till we meet again, You made me whole, you made me whole

I know I'm never alone.'

And with that, the song comes to an end, and the instrumentals fade out until the auditorium just sits still in complete silence. About a solid minute passes of silence, and you stare up at the crowd with an awkward look on your face. Thinking that this was something that the crowd has disliked, you were just about to apologize for your performance, but then the entire place erupts in an excited cheer.

"WHAT AN AN AWE-INSPIRING PERFORMANCE FROM A STUDENT AT NRC! WHY I DO BELIEVE THAT THIS MUST'VE BEEN ONE OF THE BEST WE'VE SEEN SO FAR!" you hear the announcer exclaim loudly on the speakers. You stare in shock at the loud crowd, looking at all of the happy faces (some were legitimately crying, namely Rook) cheering for you. In your embarrassment, your face reddens and you try to hide it behind your hands as you let out a meek 'thank you' to the microphone. You bow quickly and move to go backstage, but then you hear someone starting to chant 'Encore!' with many others following suit.

You leave it to the announcers to try to calm the crowd- there was absolutely no way you were going to sing another song up there again. You walk through the halls of the backstage area to get back to... Well, you didn't know where you wanted to go right now. Your face was so red right now and you were so embarrassed that you didn't know if you'd be able to handle the reactions of your friends congratulating you. Even worse, you don't know how you'd handle having Jamil congratulating you, with his stupidly cute smile and his devilishly charming eyes. You'd probably faint.

But speak of the devil and he shall appear, you see Jamil and the rest of your friends in Vil's group walking up to you with various different reactions on their faces. Predictably, Ace was teasing you for hiding away your good singing voice, Deuce and Epel both congratulated you like a normal person would, and Rook and Kalim were both brought to tears at your performance- to the point where Vil and Jamil basically had to rip them away from you (with the condition that you'd give Rook your autograph). Vil stared at you with his normal stern look at first before smiling and patting your head, saying something along the lines of you becoming yet another rival of his.

Jamil, though, he waited until everyone else was done with you before approaching you. Your heart had calmed down tremendously by then, but when you saw him walking up to you, you could feel your heart pounding inside your chest nervously. He gives you his most charming smile with a proud look on his face, and he says gently,

"You were amazing up there. I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Hehe, thanks," you chuckle nervously, looking anywhere but his handsome face, "I-uh... Remember that time I went to your room asking for advice on what to write?" he nods. "Yeah, well, that was for this, so uhm... Thank you, for, you know- giving me inspiration to write that song..."

"I gave you inspiration?" he hums, "I only told you to rest. I don't recall doing anything particularly inspiring." You let out a tiny squeak as you try to explain,

"Well! You know how it goes, one day you've got nothing and then another, you've got everything! You don't need to do anything specific to be inspired, it can just come out of nowhere!" you chuckle awkwardly, and in your nervousness you continued to talk, "And besides, you're plenty inspiration for me without even having to do anything! I wrote it for you, after all!" After the words left your mouth, you gasp and cover your mouth with your hands as your face burns bright red in embarrassment.

Jamil stares at you in shock for a moment after hearing your words. You wrote that...for him? Really? Him?

Well, he did have his suspicions of that at first, with the lyrics sounding as familiar as they did, but he brushed it off earlier, thinking that there would be no way that you would've written something so...so... romantic, for him. Did you really feel that way about him? Did you really reciprocate his feelings for you-- the ones that he's decided long ago to bury beneath the ground because there was absolutely no way you were going to like him that way?

Only one way to find out, he supposes.

Jamil slowly brings his hand to lift your face to look at him. The look in your eyes betrayed many of your emotions- embarrassment, anxiety...and hidden in it's depths, he thought he could see hints of adoration within them. In the past, he has considered using his unique spell to make you fall in love with him, however he has always decided against it, for one reason or another. So he knows that the emotions behind your eyes are real- that the lyrics for your song, which was made for him, was real.

So he takes a small leap of faith, choosing to kiss the side of your cheek, "Thank you, Prefect. It was a very lovely song."

"No," you say breathlessly (you were also in shock because you thought he was going to kiss your lips), "Thank you for being my muse."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OKAY, admittedly, this took me forever, but that's mostly on me for writing so much exposition before getting to the *actual* request part of the story lol Anon I hope that I didn't keep you waiting for too long for this request, and I hope that it was to your liking!

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member is receiving hate

The members noticed the difference in her mood the whole day. It could be because she got bad grades, she woke up late as she spend the night training or because of the hate she's receiving. Maybe all of them but the unnies wouldn't know, she didn't wanna seem weak and bother them with her issues when she knows all of them also receive hate and are doing fine. After a long day, she said good night to her sisters and practically sprinted to her room without her roommates (SMC) sleeping as soon as her head touched the pillow, which was already a bad sign since she hated to sleep without someone in the room with her.

Meanwhile in the living room...

Jihyo - Did you girls see how she looks tired?

Jeongyeon - Yeah, she's also in a mood. The girl can give us a run for our money when she's being sassy *rolls her eyes*

Nayeon - I taught her well *dries fake tears*

Momo - Be serious grandma, we're talking about our child

Nayeon - YAH! STOP CALLING ME GRANDMA

Dahyun - With all due respect unnie, shhhhh. You know Y/N is a light sleeper (can't relate, I could sleep through an earthquake)

Tzuyu - She's right unnie, once I got thirsty and opened the door to go to the kitchen and get a cup of water. She woke up immediately asking if I was okay

Chaeyoung - Fr, can someone go check if she woke up, please? I feel like it's been some time since she fell asleep so fast, she's probably exhausted. I agree with Jihyo unnie.

Sana - I'm gonna see if she's still in her room, brb

On the SMC room...

Y/N - Well, that didn't go the way I wanted. I wish I'd just escape this hate, they're not being fair to me, I keep being up all night overthinking all the mistakes they point out and training to be better than what they see. Am I not good enough? Maybe I suck at this. What if the group did improve without me being the black sheep? 

While thinking all of this she wasn't aware that a certain hamster had entered her room and informed the rest she was awake. When she finally came back from her mind, she let out a scream because her unnie was just staring at her looking quite creepy

Y/N - UNNIE, YOU SCARED ME!

Sana - Sorry honey, you're somewhere else but I knocked before entering. How are you? You seemed kinda out of it...

Y/N - I'm doing okay unnie, just lost a night's sleep, otherwise, I feel fine  

Sana - Don't lie to me, we know you. Right guys?

At that moment everyone that was outside the door went inside and nodded their heads.

Mina - Sana's right babe, we took note that you're not the same as always as soon as you got out of your bed this morning. 

Y/N - But-

Jihyo - No buts, we're getting through the issue you're having and you're getting some sleep after this with me (Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Mina's room)

Dahyun - Unnie is right (again), start talking, please... We're worried about you!

Y/N - That's exactly why I didn't wanna talk with you guys. I don't want to be a burden.

Momo - Again with this... We already talked about it, you know you're important to us and we care about you and your feelings, every time you need someone to hear you, we're there for you. Stop thinking that you're burdening us when you get sad, hurt or even mad like this morning. We know you like the back of our hands and we'll understand anything you request without questioning 'cause you always try to express what you need. Except if you ask for my jokbal lmao

Chaeyoung - What a way to kill the moment, da- dang.

Nayeon - And here I thought Momo was speaking facts, yeah... That sounds more like her lol

Jihyo - You did well Momo... Don't think we forgot about you young lady

Y/N - I mean, you could... Jk, tysm for always assuring me that you love me, sometimes things appear to be harder to believe after everything you hear from people.

Jeongyeon - Which people? Who do I've to kill? 

Tzuyu - Am I the only one who already understood what's going on? She's receiving hate! Now that I know everything falls in place, the anger, the sadness, the insecurity...

Mina - Wow, it makes sense. Is this it sweetie?

Y/N - Yo, are you a therapist 'cause gee, you read me like a book lol 

Sana - Stop joking, if that's the case, it's something severe

Y/N - Ok, ok. I'm sorry. Yeah, I got some hater recently that I can't get out of my hair, they talked about my dancing skills, my vocals, how I'm always lazy on stage and my poor expressions. It sucks as I'm starting to believe it and I can't seem to stop wanting to train, that's why I stay late at the studio. I'm exhausted unnies, it hurts so much to see that no one notices my efforts and just sees what I did incorrectly. *sobs*

Jihyo pulls Y/N closer and she lays on her chest while crying. Jihyo feels her shirt getting wetter as time went by and she felt heartbroken to see her maknae so glum. Without anything else to do everyone sat near and gave their love in their own style, all while Jihyo caressed Y/N's back repeating that things will be okay. 

After half an hour, sobs turned into sniffles and Y/N got out of Jihyo's chest and leaned on Momo that was behind her. Momo instantly gave her a kiss on the forehead, making the maknae giggle and the unnies hearts flutter with how cute she looked being so vulnerable. 

Jihyo - Are you better now?

Y/N - It's not something that goes away like magic but you guys made me feel inches better, you're the best family I could ask for!

Twice - OWNNNNN, that's what we're here for love bug. We're pressing charges against your haters or we're not TWICE!

You can certainly expect all the members to appear at JYP to threaten JYPapa so he can make that come true and give some vacation so they can help their dear maknae to heal because they love their dear maknae. 

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[meowcats734]

[Soulmage] Wanderlust is Earth

Content warning: thoughts of self-harm/suicide.

"Bad news," Sansen said.

I cracked an eye open—I hadn't quite managed to slip into a nap, but I was close enough to be cranky about the interruption. "You're not going to do the whole 'good news, bad news, which do you want to hear first' routine?"

"I'm an oracle. I've lived through this twice already. It's purely performative on my part." From behind him, Lucet giggled. I got up and erected a brief bubble of darkness, put on my binder, and then terminated the spell of fear. Being a novice witch in eleven different schools still didn't put me on par with a real witch like Sansen, but we'd all been trying to hone any skill that could help us survive, and that included casting spells and improving our techniques whenever possible.

Plus, I liked having privacy when I changed.

"So what's the bad news?" I asked.

"Well, we think we found out why there's a whole bunch of Demons of Fear hanging out in the sky," Sansen said. "We've done some observation, and there've been some aerial clashes between Demons of Fear and Angels of Arrogance. Odds are, we're not the first people to think of using soulspace entities for reconnaissance, and what we've been seeing is the Order and the Peaks brawling for control over surveillance from above."

"Yeah, I didn't think we were military geniuses either. But wait, if you observed the conflict directly..."

Sansen grinned. "Yeah, Lucet and Meloai managed to train the Demon of Joy while you were asleep, and I can look into a future where we kill it for its memories and gather all the information it would have held without having to actually kill it every time we want to know what it saw."

I exhaled, a weight lifting from my soul. "We needed a win," I said.

Lucet turned away from our little scout—a butterfly of light that fluttered towards a flower Meloai held—and gave me a gentle smile. "We did, didn't we?"

"Speaking of wins and losses," Sansen said, "the Order of Valhalla and the Peaks fought to a standstill at a nearby lake. We... there wasn't any sign of Jiaola, but if we can get closer and dig through the memory fragments..."

"You want to rummage around in an active battlefield?" I asked.

"Both sides retreated, and if we move fast, they might still be regrouping by the time we get there. Plus, there's another factor at play. From what the butterfly—"

"I'm naming him Misiel," Meloai interrupted.

"From what Misiel saw," Sansen corrected himself, "the aftermath of the battle looked... extensive. Someone tore open a massive rift into the Plane of Elemental Cold, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were more rifts hidden beneath that massive cloud of mist."

"So we think we're safe, because the battlefield's too deadly for either army to want to enter," I summarized.

"We don't have to go into the heart of that mess," Sansen said. "We just have to get in far enough that we can find a couple soul fragments, and get out. With a competent oracle, two combat witches, and a mimic, we should at the very least be able to run from any major soulspace entities before they kill us."

"Great, thanks, very reassuring." I rubbed my forehead. "What do you all think?"

"None of us would've made it out of the Silent Peaks without Sansen," Lucet said, squeezing my arm. "And... I never met Jiaola, but... he's your friend, Cienne. This is the clearest shot at finding him that we've had so far. I say we take it."

"Family's hard to come by," Meloai added, giving me a reassuring nod. "I'm not looking forward to finding out what kinds of things are going to crawl out of those rifts, but... it's worth the risk."

I swallowed heavily, feeling a familiar constriction in my throat, and some sticky, sharp part of my soul wished I'd never asked.

Lucet and Meloai were willing to throw their lives on the line for someone they'd never even met.

But I? I was scared. I was a fucking coward. I was a horrible person. They would be better off if I just disappeared one day and never came back.

I took in a deep breath, letting the familiar voices wash over me.

Then I forced my way past it, the way I'd painstakingly learned how, and said, "Alright. Let's do this."

###

The cloud cover got thicker and thicker as we approached what was left of Feardust Lake. I'd never actually been to this part of the Redlands—for most of my childhood, the area was considered uninhabitable thanks to the last clash between the Redlands and the Peaks—but it didn't seem all that different from any other section of the plains I called home. Endless waves of flowing grass? Check. Majestic open sky that felt like it could swallow you whole? Check. Rifts into other dimensions that spewed monsters and elemental destruction? You betcha.

The rift itself was hidden beneath the shroud of condensation and frost it had generated, but even from this distance, it was obvious that it was one hell of a thing. I'd be surprised if I lived to see it fade. The signature tactic of Fell witches—sowing sorrow on the battlefield and reaping it all at once to tear massive rifts in the sky—had survived for centuries, and judging by how far away the Silent Peaks had made their camp from the enormous rift, the Peaks had learned to respect it.

"Was this... a victory for the Order?" Meloai asked.

I shrugged. "No clue. If you want to go up to their camps and ask, I'm sure both sides will have their version of the story where they won."

"Hey," Lucet said, frowning. "Do you guys... Cienne. Do you... is something... wrong with sorrow right now?"

I tensed, looking at Sansen, but he shook his head—nothing imminently threatening. "From a scale of elf-Iola to eldritch-Iola, how wrong are we talking here?"

"I'm... just try casting a spell with sorrow," Lucet said. "A... a small one. Small as you can make it."

"Uh. Okay." Salt-crystal sorrow grew in abundance along the inner edge of my soul; I willed a fraction of it to chip off, then tossed it from my soul into realspace—

The frostbolt skittered a good foot before stopping, leaving a trail of swirling condensation in its path.

Even Sansen seemed surprised as the four of us stared at it.

"That is not what that spell was supposed to do," I finally said, just as Sansen's expression returned to normal. Oh, was that what had caused Sansen to be surprised? Gah, stupid oracles, reacting to my sentences before they're spoken.

"Huh." Lucet's soul stirred. "So if I try to cast a normal frostbolt, then—"

"NO!" Sansen grabbed her arm, startling Lucet, and she yelped, spinning around. "No. Just... no. We all die if you try to use a full-powered frost spell."

A chill went down my spine. "I... I don't suppose any of you have ever tried using magic near a rift this large before?"

I got three shaken heads in response.

"Maybe... maybe we should stay away from frost magic, for now. Until we're away from that ridiculously-sized rift," I said.

Lucet flinched, and I kicked myself—there was probably a way to say that that didn't render Lucet useless for the time being. But before I could open my mouth, she put on a smile and said, "Yeah. It's alright. Just until after."

Then she turned and strode towards the city-sized rift in the distance. 

Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit. I felt those familiar thorny vines grow around my throat, but I forged through it. Now was not the time to let my emotions get the better of me.

The consequences of what would happen if I did loomed large on the horizon, a sorrow so deep and vast it had torn two armies apart.

###

"Found one," Meloai shouted. There was thunder periodically crashing from somewhere deeper in the wrecked grasslands, and the constant crash of hail wasn't helping the noise problem either. 

"What plane?" Lucet asked. 

"No clue. But he died recently—the body's still warm."

I shuddered. "Eurgh. I know your interaction with humanity has been limited to Lady Tanryn for the first two decades of your life, but for future reference, humans generally don't like poking other humans' corpses."

"I... I know. I'm sorry. I just... thought I could help." Meloai's crestfallen expression made me want to fucking stab myself, but... I could keep the voices at bay for just a little longer. Until we got to a place where I felt absolutely safe sharing the secret of attunement with Lucet and Meloai and Sansen, and then I'd be redundant and they wouldn't need me anymore and I could just fall into a dream and vanish—

"Shame," Sansen said. "It's a memory of shame."

Oh, great. "Does opening a rift into the Plane of Elemental Transparency kill us all?"

Sansen shook his head. "Not in the immediate future."

Well, 'not killing myself in the immediate future' was good enough. I'd take it. I drew glass shards of shame from my soul and cut the skin of reality, my skin momentarily shining like glass as I reached between worlds—

And I was no longer the husk of self-hatred that I'd grown into over the weeks since we'd fled the Peaks. Or worse, that I'd always been.

I was Fein, soldier under the Silent Peaks, and I had a promise to keep.

###

I could ignore the pounding hail, I could tune out the screams of dying soldiers, I could ignore the distant flashes of artillery bombardments so long as that burning compulsion stayed at the front of my mind.

I had a promise to keep, and nothing would stand in my way until it was fulfilled.

"Soldier!" The black-and-white regalia of my commanding officer stood out like a skeleton in a closet as I dashed through the battlefield. The chaos that led up to the war had been a tumultuous landslide of impossible promises and contradictory demands, but somehow, we still found enough energy to wind up the old war machines. "You're breaking position."

I met the staunch commander's gaze and evenly said, "I have a promise to keep."

The commander's gaze softened as he searched my soul. "...I understand. We're retreating under artillery cover; you'll be surrounded and bombarded by your own forces."

I knew. But some things superseded simple matters like being turned to drifting bits of gas by an artillery strike.

"Where did the Second Battlechoir fall?" I asked.

"By the southern shore of the lake," the commander said, pointing off into the distance. The miasma of mist and hail made it difficult to see, but I'd seen the maps and fought here before. I would find my way.

"It's been a pleasure to serve," I lied, and dashed out into the hellishly cold warzone.

I had a promise to keep, but that promise said nothing about telling the truth. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I was lucky enough not to stumble on any enemy soldiers as I waded through the mire of corpses and ice that marked the Battle of Promiseshard. The distant, disturbingly silent columns of light that marked where artillery strikes were wiping random spots from existence was probably why—nobody was stupid enough to charge through a field under constant bombardment.

Unless they had a promise to keep.

The steady jog was over less than half a mile, but through a muddy, torn-up battlefield, it may as well have been a sprint to the moon and back. Progress was slow, and I nearly got burned to a crisp twice, but it was worth it.

Thirty minutes of painstaking slogging later, I reached the place where the Second Battlechoir had been surrounded and broken.

Broken—but if I was to have any hope of living with myself after this, not destroyed.

I hurried to the ruined encampment, dust and frozen blood slipping beneath my feet, and called out, "Emi? Emi, are you there?"

In response, I heard a weak exhalation, nearly lost in the tumult of the battle, weak as a newborn kitten.

I rushed over to a collapsed wooden barricade and tried heaving the logs aside—but they were simply too heavy. "Emi? Emi, are you under there? Please, I can get you out, just tell me you're—"

"Fein," Emi whispered, and I saw her dark eyes glittering from under the logs. "Its okay."

My stomach dropped. "Wh—of course you're going to be okay. I—I told you you were going to come back from the war just fine, eh? Just... gotta put my back into it..."

"Stop," Emi said, and she reached out through a crack in the slots. "I'm... it's okay. I don't have much time left. Just... spend it with me. Please."

I clenched my fists. "No. No, Emi, don't talk like that. I promised. I promised you that you'd be okay." I felt something deep, deep in my soul begin to ache, as if my very being was tearing itself apart, and I stood. "If—if I can get enough leverage, or—or if I can find some more survivors to help—"

"I can't feel my legs, Fein." Emi coughed, and I hated how wet and red and lethal it was. "Just... be with me until the end, Fein. Can you do that for me?"

I swallowed.

Then I closed my eyes, placed my hand over hers, and I could pretend that the blood was nothing but rain.

"I promise, Emi. I promise."

And I spent the rest of my life letting one promise live so another could die, until the light faded from Emi's eyes.

###

"Cienne. Cienne. Cienne!"

Lucet was shaking me, but I barely felt it. I was just... so damn tired. How many more times would I have to die and die and die again, reliving the memories of better people than I? Hell, even the fucking crow was better at not casually hurting everyone around her. 

"I can't," I whispered.

Lucet stilled. "I'm—can you speak up, Cienne? I can't hear you."

I was worthless. All those people who'd died before me, all those glorious souls who outshone the entirety of my being with a fragment of their life, they had died for something. They had gone out with meaning.

Perhaps that was it. If there was one thing I could make myself good for, it was taking that hit, over and over again, until Jiaola was safe and I was no longer needed.

"I didn't see Jiaola," I managed to say, clearing my throat. "Sorry. The memory disoriented me." I plastered a smile on my face and stood up. "Let's... let's find another soul fragment, shall we?" Better people than me traded worried glances, but before they could speak, I left.

I turned my back, trodding deeper into the darkness and the frost, the souls of the fallen dispersing like blood in rain.

A.N.

Soulmage is a serial written in response to writing prompts. Stick around for more episodes, or join my Discord to chat about it!

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[ssaalexblake]

I'm curious about your opinion about 'a discussion' about the Doctor saying in Survivors of the Flux: "Earth has been shielded from the Flux, but it'll be vulnerable. It'll become a target. If the Flux is destroying the universe, if planets and stars are being wiped out, there will be displaced creatures who need a home. Somewhere to take over." Mostly due to how I've seen it being said to be the Doctor expressing anti-refugee sentiment, especially the usage of 'take over'.

i've sat on this one because it depends Entirely on how this ~discussion~ happened. Your grammatical choices in writing this ask do not fill me to the brim with confidence, however.

Anyway.

If we're having an on the level discussion on linguistics and phraseology where we talk about how innocuous turns of phrase like 'take over' (mice took over my loft once, it sucked) have been co-opted as very not innocent phrases, and how it would have been better if they'd made it verbally explicit that they meant a colonization like something along the lines of what the Sontarans literally already did in Liverpool a couple of episodes ago then... You know, I may even agree? I do think contextually it's clear what they're saying here but hell, might as well be on the nose. If people are gonna accuse the era of spelling everything out for people, they might as well have done so.

However, if we're being cunning enough to ignore all context available in both that A) this whole era is a criticism of treatment of refugees AND simultaneously even more so a scathing criticism of colonialism, all to genuinely spout that they'd suddenly, in one of the last couple of episodes, do a step-heel-turn and deliberately say fuck them refugees that are gonna come steal all our jobs or something then... I mourn our good friend, Nuance McNuance. Such a good guy. Miss him so much. Gone too soon.

This line did not happen in a vacuum and should not be considered like it did.

(this is bringing me Back to people who complained that war of the sontarans had inconsistent morals. No. Actually it was just giving the thumbs up to beating the shit out of violent colonizers and also saying to stop waging pointless stupid war and getting people killed for no reason other than ego. Oh the death of nuance.)

Anyway, like i said, it depends on how this was said. Discussing linguistics choices is a totally normal port of fandom call, but ignoring context both of the scene and era at large to Choose to interpret in such a way that contradicts the themes and morals of an entire era of the show is... Well. We'll highball and say it's uncharitable.

(and since when does the Doctor refer to somebody being Nice as a Creature??? If we're digging in linguistically already then that is. Not a thing.)

You know that post going around saying that a person saying they support something but doing so using "bad" language is Far better than the person who uses the up to date appropriate terms, but is supporting a fucked up message? How in such cases sentiment is where you look because that is Far more important than linguistic choices? Yeah. I'm still far more worried about the zygon two parter, thanks (but i'm not gonna talk about That one bc i'd have to watch it again and hell no).

They're talking about daleks, and cybermen, and sontarans, and whatever other species may make like the british empire and colonize. This is clear, frankly, to the point you don't Need to think about it.

The conversation is about phrasing, which could be improved but is not, you know, Horrifyingly dire as it's obvious what they meant.

Incidentally, due to context, if said line had been said in Moffat's era i'd be Way more leery because of some unfavourable context in his era.

And, to conclude;

In the words of Fred Jones in Scooby Doo, Monsters Unleashed

"I think coolsville sucks"

[badaxefamily]

I have a very rare disease, hooray! Under a cut in case I ramble, not for content warning. I won't be talking about anything explicit.

It's official: I have hypophosphatasia, which is a genetic mutation that causes a deficiency of alkaline phosphatase (ALP) which is used for building bones and metabolizing vitamin B6 into energy, among other things.

Ever since I started getting my lab results mailed to me as an adult, I've had low ALP. But most doctors either only know about the more severe infantile form of HPP, or they don't know about it at all. So it's understandable that they always wrote something like "Low ALP isn't a concern", because most doctors only look for high ALP (which indicates liver problems). I'm accustomed to doing research into medical things, but even I didn't have reason to suspect HPP because most of the information (at least in the past) focused on the severe form.

I didn't look hard enough. Childhood-onset HPP is a thing and it isn't fatal, just painful and annoying. And that's what I have. The signs were there as a kid: disliking standing, finding it easier to walk than stand, difficulty with stairs, "growing pains", less energy and muscle strength than my peers. But none severe enough to catch the attention of teachers or pediatricians. In the US you can only get treatment if symptoms presented before 18 (adult-onset is also a thing but the FDA doesn't care about those people*), so when I was gathering data for the endocrinologist I thought back to my childhood for anything out of the ordinary. One memory that stood out to the doctor and my case managers was the time my classmate broke his leg in fourth grade. He had crutches, and - as our rural school somehow managed to be fairly progressive and inclusive in 1993 - he chose to allow the rest of us to try them, so we could have empathy for him. When I tried them, I remember feeling relief. I though this was cool, there was less weight on my legs but I could still move! It did not occur to me that that isn't a normal thing for a ten-year-old to think. I think it was the pharmacy case manager that went "OH" at this memory.

So HPP is at least a major contributor to my ongoing struggles with chronic fatigue and weakness. It may not be the only one, but it needs to be treated even if only to protect my bones as I get older. ALP is needed to metabolize vitamin B6 as well as make bones though, and Strensiq (a lab-created form of ALP) is known to break down B6. It's so good at it in fact that you can't really get a B6 blood test to be accurate if you're on Strensiq, because the drug will keep eating the B6 in the vial! So we're hopeful that Strensiq will make me feel better, even though it's really made with people with soft bones in mind. The fact that I haven't broken a bone going up the stairs like many people do may make it difficult to get Medicare to approve the prescription. Thankfully, not only am I perfectly willing to fight about it, I have a team to fight alongside me. HPP is so rare that the manufacturer and pharmacy for Strensiq have enough resources to assign each patient case managers to assist with everything from insurance to learning about the drug and how to take it (it's a subcutaneous injection), and also there's Soft Bones, the largest patient advocacy group for HPP in the US. I've already touched base with them and they're standing ready to assist if needed.

Also Alexion sent me this frickin adorable kids' book with the information packet:

*Forgot the note I was going to add about this. The reason the FDA doesn't authorize Strensiq for adult-onset is probably because studies didn't show as dramatic an improvement for adults compared to kids. But I think that's stupid. For one thing the disease is rare so studies are always small and there aren't very many of them. For another, of course the improvement in kids is more dramatic, their disease is more severe. Japan is the only country that allows Strensiq for adult-onset, as far as I'm aware.