#we still don't know where the first drink was

[gguk-n]

Chapter 1- The Proposal

A+ in Pretend Love (Lando Norris x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- The sponsor's say they'll pull out if Lando doesn't fix his ways. So, Zak stages an intervention. Y/N can't get approved for visa, no matter how hard she tries. Zak offers to help. An honest and mutually beneficial relationship is formed.

The scene is set. The MTC is almost empty to the wandering eye, but in reality, every one was sat in the huge conference hall Zak had constructed for other reason not pertaining to the one they had gathered for. "So, we're gathered here today" Zak began only to be interrupted by Oscar, "I still don't get why I'm here when this is about Lando." Zak sighed, "This is about me?" Lando asked surprised. Oscar looks at him with a raised eyebrow and then the other people at the table like in the Office. "Oscar, this is a team problem and we must deal with it as a team." Zak spoke while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Now where was I? Before I was rudely interrupted" Zak paused; "The sponsors aren't happy and want to pull away because of Lando's antics" Zak finished. "What? Why me? What about Oscar?" Lando pointed out like a child caught in trouble. "As far as I know, Oscar is extremely sponsor friendly with his long term girlfriend and polite demeanour" Zak said looking pointedly at Lando.

The table erupted in whispers, "What have I do?" Lando piped in. "The partying, the girls, the drinking. Might I continue?" Zak asked. Lando sighed, "So, what do you want me to do? Live like a monk" he asked. "No, we just need to polish up your image, make it more sponsor friendly." Zak said. "I have an idea" someone on the table suggested. "Go on" Zak prompted. "What if we say that Lando's been in a long term healthy relationship and is about to get married?" they suggested. Everyone seemed to hum in agreement. "What no? Ask me first, I'm the one involved. This is nonsense. Ask the sponsors to leave" Lando almost shouted. "Lando, you do know those sponsors are the reason you can drive in Formula One, so that we can make cars for you to race" Zak asked pointedly. Lando's shoulder's slumped, he looked at Oscar for support but he just shrugged at Lando; "Fine" Lando sighed. "So, which model is it?" he asked. "No, we need someone low- key. Out of the public eye to make this believable" someone else piped in. "But which girl will want to agree to that" someone else argued. Lando was currently a by-stander in his own life.

Finally after much deliberation, it was decided that to help Lando clear up his image; he would fake date someone who lived a normal life. And Zak would pay them to keep their mouth shut.

Y/N Y/L/N was in her last semester at University of Monaco of her Master's programme. She been living there since the start of the programme while working as a teaching assistant to gain experience towards her final goal of becoming a Professor. The university was great; culturally diverse and the job paid decently well; in her opinion. Right now, the biggest dilemma she faced was the stupid visa that for some reason wouldn't get renewed no matter how much she tried. She was sat in an almost empty cafe in the street's of Monaco, tucked away from the public. "You must understand. I'll have the job as soon as I graduate. Please extend my visa" she almost begged. "We can't Miss Y/L/N. Those are the rules. You will have to leave the country at the end of your visa" the voice replied sternly. Y/N sighed exasperated while running her hand through her hair for the hundredth time today as the call cut.

Some one else had entered the cafe during this whole ordeal, he walked up to Y/N, "Is this seat taken?" Zak asked. Y/N just nodded without looking up. "I'm sorry for eves dropping but it seems like you're having visa issues?" Zak asked. Y/N looked up, he pushed his business card forward. "I'm Zak Brown, CEO of McLaren" he introduced himself. "Y/N Y/L/N" she shook his hand. "I could help you if you'd like" he suggested. "What do you get in return?" she asked skeptically. "Well, I will have to discuss this with the person who might help you and let you know" he said. "Maybe you can forward me your CV. I can see what I can do" he spoke slowly. Y/N bit her lip before thinking, fuck it. What's the worst that could happen? and forwarded her CV to Zak. "I'll contact you as soon as possible" Zak said smiling while he walked away. "Arrange a meeting in the MTC, I have the woman for the job" Zak called his assistant.

Back at the MTC, when everyone had gathered; "So, I met this girl, around Lando's age. She is in need of help with her visa renewal" Zak said. "If she needs a visa for Monaco, wouldn't she be better off marrying Charles" Oscar interrupted. Zak sighed loudly, "Can you stop interrupting me?" he asked. "Can you stop having me attend meeting that have nothing to do with me?" Oscar retorted. "Touche" Zak relented. "So, we help her with her visa and she helps us with Lando" Zak suggested. Everyone seemed to agree unanimously. Lando was quite the whole time, he felt like he had lost any credibility since they were in trouble with the sponsors because of him. He quietly agreed to the arrangement. "Let's meet up with her. I'll arrange for a meeting. Just the three of us" he told Lando already on the phone with Y/N before Lando could even say anything.

They had decided to meet at a cafe in Monaco. The cafe was quite, with barely any customers in site. When Zak and Lando entered, they found a woman sat at one of the tables placed at the back, nursing a cup of coffee. As soon as she saw Zak, she greeted him with a smile. Lando was looking at her the whole time. Zak cleared his throat, "This is Lando Norris" he introduced Lando to her. She smiled at him, introducing herself and the three sat down when Zak began talking. "So, here's the thing, I need help" She nodded along, "If it's not money related I think I can help" she suggested. "It isn't. I need someone to help with damage control." Zak drawled. "Lando here is a Formula One driver, he drives for my team" Zak explained, watching the confusion on Y/N's face. She nodded along. "The sponsors are creating an issue, all baseless I might add. But I do want to please them and I believe, you would be of great help" Zak said. "How can I help?" she asked. "I would like it if you two would date. Maybe like a fake relationship, just for like a year or so." Zak said quickly. "I don't...this is crazy." she expressed. "I understand this is crazy, but please help me. Being with a millionaire helps" he pleaded. "He's a millionaire" Y/N asked looking at Lando now. "I might not look the part but they pay well" Lando laughed gesturing towards Zak. "This will help, they wouldn't want to cause issues for a public figure." Zak further elaborated. "Like a mutually beneficial relationship" Zak finished. "I need to think about this. All of this is too much for me" she said quickly grabbing her things to leave. Before the two men could stop her she was out of the cafe. "Told you this was a bad idea" Lando said shaking his heading, getting up to leave.

Back home, Y/N was in turmoil. She ended up googling Lando and whatever they said was true. This wasn't some MLM or cult they were trying to indoctrinate her into. And from all the news article, it seemed that Lando had bit of a reputation of partying and sleeping around. She could see why having a girlfriend would help him. She couldn't see why she could help him though. Wouldn't he do better with a model or someone famous?

A few days of her mind being plagued with thoughts of that weird meeting with Lando and Zak; the visa officer called. "Please ma'am you have to understand, I can't do anything. I can't renew your visa" he stressed. Y/N was annoyed, "Please, you can't do this" she cried. "It's out of my control" he expressed. "Please stop calling us" he warned and cut the call. Maybe, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Y/N called up Zak, "Hi, This is Y/N" she spoke slowly. "Hi, Y/N. How are you?" Zak chirped. "I'm good. I'm up for the offer. I'll date...I mean fake date Lando" she stated. "Wonderful. That's what I would've liked to hear" he gloated. "Let's meet at the same place this weekend. And please answer a few questions my assistant will email you before we meet" Zak said before cutting the call. Zak had to make a few more calls like to Lando and his assistant.

Y/N and Lando both received emails asking them questions most couples would know about each other. Y/N wasn't sure if she should fake a personality but decided against it and answered it as truly as possible.

The weekend rolled around rather quickly and the both of them were getting dressed to meet. The cafe seemed empty yet again, a strange occurrence in their eyes. The three of them greeted each other before receiving files from Zak. "These contain information about each other learn it. And this contains how you two met, fell in love and are now happily engaged" Zak said, pulling a velvet box from his pocket. He placed the box in front of Y/N which housed a beautiful ring, "It's fake, so don't worry about losing it" Zak said looking at the pair. "I think this will turn out great. Now, Y/N, Lando's home race is soon. So, two of you will make your debut then." he explained. Y/N looked at Lando, the two of their eyes locked together as Zak explained everything.

"Here's the contract and an NDA" Zak said pulling out more papers. "How long will the contract be valid for?" she asked beginning to read it. "For a year" Zak stated. "Don't you have any questions?" Y/N asked Lando. "No" he said shaking his head and proceeded to sign the contract while Y/N took her time to read through it, not wanting to be tied by anything she couldn't be able to repay. Y/N finally signed the paper after a few more minutes of going through the contract. "Welcome to the McLaren family. Don't worry about the expenses, they will be covered by us" Zak said quickly putting the contracts away. "Pleasure doing business with you" Zak remarked. "I hope we get along well" Y/N told Lando, directing her attention to him. "Hope so. My number is in my details. I'll contact you before the weekend. See you on the Thursday after this" Lando stated. "The weekend is on the Saturday or Sunday" Y/N quizzed. "Not in Formula One" Lando said, "I'll text you the details soon" he said leaving before anyone. Y/N watched both Lando and Zak leave, confused at what she had just gotten herself into.

She reached home, kicked off her shoes and plopped down on the sofa before calling her best friend. "Guess what I just did" she said as her best friend answered the call.

Tag list- @gamesetmatch-me @seonghwaexile @yootvi @hadesnumber1daughter @khaylin27 @abq654

[pricegouge]

i'm still not fully comfortable writing realdad!price and will likely continue with the stepcest buffer if i ever write for that dynamic again, but here are some things i think work better with your actual father for... reasons

cw (besides the obv): implied grooming, noncon/dubcon voyeurism, tradwife training, piss kink, possessiveness, menstruation

when you're older and price is really starting to test the limits of what he can get you to do for him, how far he can train and mold you into that perfect little housewife roll he'd always hoped for you (greeting him by the door with a happy smile and kiss on the cheek, a roast finishing in the oven, timed perfectly to be ready when you're done removing his shoes for him and massaging the ache from his knee), he rewards you with your favorite pet name from when you were a kid dragging around your cute dollies, said now with a different kind of reverance. 'little mama,' he mutters, and revels in the way it makes you squirm, always happy to know you've been taking care of something just right. he watches as you keep squirming about it late into the night, doesn't even feel bad about it - you've known about the nanny cam in your room for years now, sweetheart. if you don't want him to see, you should save it for the shower

i know i'm a broken record atp, but piss kink 😵‍💫 just imagine how much he'd tease you the first time he makes you squirt. 'thought you were past this phase,' he laughs, balling up your soaked sheets

speaking of kink, i think he definitely treats it the same way loosey goosey parents treat underage drinking. he'd rather you try it at home where he can keep you safe, baby. you want to try something you saw on one of your big girl sites? don't be shy, come to papa. he'll take care of you, show you how to do it properly. make sure you have a good time. he just wants to be sure you're prepared (he has no intention of letting you use the what you've learned with anyone else)

period sex. period care in general, really. he'd be sooooo sweet about it i just know it. (by sweet I mean he'd be bullying your cervix every chance he got because it's right there, all swollen and descended, and it's a safe time of the month for that,right?) would also think his dicks a cure-all for cramps but he's probably right about that so we let it slide

[rekino2114]

The fact that Rose would remeber the first kiss got me thinking. What would the first kiss with the drdt girls be like?

First kiss with the drdt girls

A/n:sorry if I posted this later than my usual posting hour but I had to study for an exam

Teruko tawaki

"Ugh, really?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we have only one slice of cake left"

"No I- *sighs* it's fine, I should have known. Just get me the one"

Teruko dejectedly took the cake and paid. She went back to your table where you were smiling at her, making her feel even more guilty

"Here you are. Why did you take so long?"

She sat down and put the slice on your side of the table

"Yeah, so the line suddenly got way longer when i arrived, and they only had 1 slice left..... which wasn't even the type of cake you wanted......I'm really sorry"

"It's not your fault"

"It probably is though, you know,with my luck"

"Yeah, maybe it's your luck's fault, but it's not yours. The difference is important"

"......thanks"

"It's nothing, now let's eat"

"Hm? But there's only one slice"

"But there are two forks"

"But isn't the cake too small for two people?"

"Then that just means we'll have to eat something else later. Come on, I don't wanna see you all sad because you don't get to eat, what kind of partner would I be to not share?"

Teruko smiled and took the fork. She thanked you and started eating small bits of the cake. when you were finished, she looked up at you while you were wiping your mouth. She reached for her napkin to do the same but couldn't find it anywhere

"Eh? What the-?"

"What's wrong, teru?"

"Nothing, I just can't find my towel, it's not even on the ground, what the heck?"

"I guess you do have some cake on your lips"

"Yeah and I can't wipe it now"

"Well I might have a solution to that"

"Hm?"

Teruko was surprised to see that you got a lot closer to her and quickly understood what you wanted to do, she blushed but nodded giving you permission.

You kissed her lips softly, and when you saw that she was enjoying it, you put more force into it, licking all the bits of frosting away

"Did you like that? Sorry if it was sudden but-"

"No, no its fine.....that was my first kiss, it was amazing"

"Yeah, same goes for me"

Min jeung

"Did you get that y/n?

"S-sure"

"OK, so explain it"

"..........."

"*sighs* you didn't get any of that did you?"

"........no"

"I told you I'm not good at tutoring, I'm used to studying by myself"

"Yeah, but I wanted to spend some time with you, and studying together seemed cute"

"It is.....just not efficient"

"Hehe, yeah, soooo can we take a break?"

"We started like 15 minutes ago"

"Come on, the test is in like 3 days we have a lot of time"

".......the test is tomorrow"

".......what?"

"You didn't know that? I thought that was the whole reason why you asked me to study with you"

"To be honest I just knew there was a test"

"*sighs*"

"........can we still take a break?"

"No"

"Pretty please?"

"No"

"But I'm so tired"

"It's been only 15 minutes"

"So there's nothing I can do to change your mind"

"No"

"Not even.......this"

Before min could even process what you said, you got close to her and kissed her. She went beet red, and when you pulled back, she stood frozen for a second

"Y-you, t-that was......w-why?"

"Sorry....was that too much?"

"N-no it's just.......it was my first kiss...like ever"

"Did you like it?"

"Y-yeah"

"Great"

You smiled and approached her again. You two kissed for the second time, and this time, min kissed back passionately. You moved her hair from her face to reveal her beautiful pink eyes staring back at you

"Your eyes are beautiful"

"Thanks, yours are too"

Arei nageishi

"Heck yeah! 4th strike for meeeee!"

Arei turned to look at you giving you a victory sign while you did a thumbs up while drinking the soda you got

"Soooo, am I awesome or what?"

She decided to take a break and sat at the table you got

"Definitely, you got the highest score"

"I mean, what else did you expect? I am the best"

"I guess that's true"

The bowler giggled, and she took a sip of her own drink.......before almost spitting it out at your next words

"Oh hey, someone else got the highest score"

"Eh? Who-......."

"Everything alright arei?"

"......that bitch"

"What?"

"That's g/n she's always been kind of a rival in bowling to me, she's still salty Hope's peak chose me over her, I mean it's not my fault that they recognize actual talent"

The very unpleasant looking girl that arei pointed towards approached your table with a forced smile and started to glare at arei

"Hello,arei, fancy seeing you here"

"Oh my god, hiiiii, how long has it been.... eternally in second place?"

"Strong words from a girl who had to ruin her sisters lives cause she couldn't handle a bit of negativity"

You saw arei's fake smile drop and a mix of rage and confusion appear on her face

"W-what? How do you-"

"I have my sources, anyway I'm not here for you, I'm here for them"

The girl pointed at you while staring with a flirty gaze, you knew where this was going and you hated it

"So come here often?~"

"Yes I do, to cheer up my girlfriend"

"Oh! So you're a thing! How did a hottie like you end up with such a bitch?"

"A BITCH? look who's talking, you're trying to steal my partner"

"Please. We both know you don't actually love them, I mean, can you even feel love when you're such a horrible piece of shit?

"I-i'll show you how much I love them"

Arei then suddenly took your collar and pulled you near her kissing you

"Happy now? I suggest you get your flat ass outside right now before I start throwing punches at that abstract painting you call a face"

The girl stormed away, and arei laughed a bit at her before looking at you

"You okay? Sorry for her"

"No, it's fine, it's just......that's not how I expected our first kiss to go"

".........fuck that was our first kiss?!"

"Yeah"

"S-sorry do you wanna redo it or something? I just got worried and-"

"No It's fine, you're actually a great kisser"

"R-really? i mean Y-yeah, of course i am"

Hu jing

After hu finished her performance, a roar of applause came from the audience, but the loudest and most passionate claps came from you, hu recognized that, and after bowing, she smiled brightly at you

When the concert was over and everyone went out, you approached your girlfriend and held her hands

"That was amazing hu, I can definitely see why you're the ultimate zither player"

"Hehe, you exaggerate dear, I simply did what I love"

"But you're so skilled, to be honest I didn't fully know even what a zither was before I started dating you, and now it's one of my favorite instruments"

Hu blushed at your praise and she felt her heart beating faster with every second she was near you

"Can I come to everyone of your concerts? I just really wanna support you"

"Y-you'd really like that?"

"Of course I love you, like really really love you and I want to support everything you like, especially your ultimate"

"I just don't know what to say, darling. I'd love that, I'm love you too so much"

You got overwhelmed by your emotions and kissed the zither player on her lips, she blushed for a moment but quickly melted into it

"O-oh, sorry, you just looked so beautiful, and It just felt right to do that"

"No, it's completely fine. I loved it. For a first kiss, it was most wonderful"

"Then can I expect more?"

"Of course, definitely"

J rosales

"FUCK OFF YOU CREEP!"

J suddenly rushed in your dorm and slammed the door, she took a moment to breathe before looking at you

"It's Arturo again isn't it?"

"Yeah, that asshole thinks he can just follow me around, I told him I'm already taken, and that changed nothing, I think it even got worse"

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"No, it's not your fault. He's just a piece of shit"

"Yeah, I'll just talk to him"

"You sure?"

"Yeah obviously, I'd just be a bad partner if I didn't"

You opened the door and found the plastic surgeon still standing there

"Oh Julia you-....what are you doing here?"

"First of all, her name is j, and second, this is my dorm you idiot"

"Oh yes, you're Julia's "lover" aren't you? I still don't understand how she could fall for someone so ugly"

"Says the guy who has to wear a mask to hide how ugly he is"

"How dare you-"

"Listen, I don't wanna deal with you anymore, so I'll let you go, but next time you harass J like that, I'll go tell Xander, and I don't think he'd appreciate you treating his friend's girlfriend like that"

"Ugh such an ugly-"

"Yeah, Yeah I get it, now fuck off!"

You closed the door (kinda hoping to hurt him), and you heard as he walked away, you closed your eyes and sighed

"Geez what a loser, hopefully that will get him to stop"

When you opened your eyes, you were very surprised to see a blushing j standing mere inches in front of your face, and before you could say anything, she crashed your lips into yours. When she pulled back, she was blushing even more and pulled her hood over her face

"C-Consider that a thank you for what you just did.....o-or something.....God this is so dumb"

"That was great"

"U-uh? Really?"

"Yeah, it was amazing. You're actually a really good kisser"

"T-thanks I guess, you were a good kisser too"

Veronika grebenshchikova

"Is everything OK darling?"

"Y-yeah totally fine don't worry"

"Are you sure? I can turn off the movie if you'd like, I know this is our first movie night together and I just want you to be comfortable"

"No I'm ok"

"If you say so"

You were, in fact, not ok. You were never a fan of horror movies, but you didn't want to appear weak or boring to your new girlfriend so you didn't tell her anything, though that seemed to be useless as she still understood what you were going trough

When a particular scary scene came on screen, you couldn't take it anymore and hid in the covers, Veronika noticed this and followed you

"Shhh darling it's ok"

She hugged you and you calmed down

"I'm sorry vero, I just-"

She quickly silenced you by kissing your lips. You found it calming and comfortable, so you kissed back, when she pulled back you saw her staring back at you with a smile

"Did that help?"

"Definitely, that felt so great"

"Well I'm glad, listen, it's fine if you're not a horror fan, I don't mind watching another movie"

"No I'm ok, as long as you continue kissing me like that then I think I can handle the movies"

She giggled and kissed you again

"I'm so happy then you'll get alllll the kisses you could ever ask for my darling"

Rose lacroix

*knock, knock*

"Hey Rose, wake up, class already started"

You waited a second and got no response. You got slightly worried, so you entered since the door to her dorm was opened. When you entered, you found a huge blanket covering the bed and when you lifted it up, you saw your girlfriend sleeping soundly

"Rose,......hey rose, wake up"

You nudged her slightly, but she still remained asleep. You tried to do this some more times, but that still had no results

"Geez, she wasn't kidding when she said she slept 15 hours a day, but I guess working on all those paintings must be tiring"

You tried a few more methods to make noise, but nothing worked. You considered splashing water at her but quickly dismissed the idea when you thought about how angry she would be at you

"Rose, seriously, wake up.......my God, you're like sleeping beauty........wait a second"

You blushed at your own idea but dismissed that, too. If she was gonna be angry at you for splashing water, you couldn't even imagine what would happen if you kissed her without consent

"*sighs* I guess I'll tell the teacher you're sick or something"

You tried to get up from her bed but was stopped by someone kissing your lips, you turned to see that rose was awake and smiling at you

"W-what, why did you-"

"You weren't gonna do it, so I thought I should"

"You were faking it?"

"No, I only woke up 5 minutes ago, but hearing you talk about sleeping beauty made me wonder if you were gonna kiss me"

"You wanted me to kiss you?"

"Not really, I'm glad you considered my feelings, so I thought you deserved an actual kiss.......that was my first kiss, how was it?"

"Amazing"

"Eh, thanks I loved it too"

"Let's go to class now"

"Yeah"

[bloomiii]

Okay, I have been thinking about Diluc and have thoughts on this post.

First, I disagree with the idea of Diluc being extremely bitchy/aggressive towards Kaeya in the early patches, especially in Venti's quest. The dialogue follows below and if anything, Kaeya is the one that is bitchy.

Diluc simply asks him to "drink responsibly" and Kaeya is the one that goes "you'd throw me out with the trash." And we learn Diluc still cares even if he won't admit it by keeping the vase. One of the main differences between Diluc and Kaeya in the early patches was that Kaeya values the past and their childhood (perhaps too much) while Diluc is the exact opposite and wants to leave it completely behind.

This makes sense for both characters. Kaeya has little hope for the future because of his fate/destiny. Kaeya feels like Diluc doesn't value their past while Diluc sees little value in the extremely naive person he was before.

And this tracks with the Diluc's message at Cat's Tail:

Even I sometimes reminisce about the carefree and happy days of the past. The warmth of the Knights, my friends, my father... Everything was perfect. But one can never return to the past. For the sake of the future, I cannot keep on dreaming in memories.

Diluc's mindset is about always pushing forward, never looking back, (which is funny with the whole turnfire lore in Natlan). One of his ascension lines says "No matter what dares to stand in my way, I must press forward."

And in Weinlesfest, he says about Razor's situation that "tragedy can drive personal growth and learning how to face it head-on is part of growing up."

In that coffee-making event, Diluc says he was "young and naive" for *checks notes* making some juice as a child.

In GAA, Kaeya encourages Diluc to do something fun with the seashell collecting, and Diluc is surprised Kaeya would remember that, because he thinks that Kaeya must have left it all behind, like Diluc wants to do.

I think Diluc has gone too far in the opposite direction, becoming cynical and untrusting, and his arc in the game is about learning how to rely on people and trust again. This is what the traveler does for Diluc, helping him learn how to trust people again. And this is why Kaeya is the first one to reach out, because Diluc, despite still caring about Kaeya (he keep his secret and he keeps the vase) sees no point in rekindling their relationship, in trying to go back to the past.

So, I don't think that Hidden Strife overly changed the nature of their relationship. Kaeya, in the manga, reaches out first, and Diluc agrees to help with his plan. Kaeya sends the first letter and Diluc reciprocates by sending letters back. In Diluc's story quest, Kaeya makes the first move by telling Diluc he is glad Diluc has an assistant (read: glad that he is trusting people) and won't tell his DNH secret.

And Diluc starts reciprocating when Kaeya reaches out. He helps Kaeya with making Jean's skin, and he adds food to Angel's Share after Kaeya mentions it. Eventually culminating in Diluc reaching out on his own in Weinlesfest and inviting Kaeya for dinner after Kaeya initially refuses.

Along with Kaeya and Diluc's different personalities, where Kaeya is mischievous and Diluc, not being very conversational, often refuses to play along and kind of just ignores a lot of what Kaeya says (Diluc's little Hmph's) may make it seem like they dislike each other.

They often give each other shit, but its not from a place of true hatred. Like in GAA with Kaeya complaining about Diluc melting his ice bridge, when he could have just left on his own if he really wanted to.

I also know that people think Hidden Strife to be a complete retcon. I also thought this. But then I came across this post that actually talked about how all of it could work without retconning. Some food for thought.

based on diluc’s story quest, he didn’t seem to know that kaeya knew (or suspected) that diluc was the darknight hero til the end of that questline, though kaeya’s letters (starting at his seventh letter, possibly his sixth) imply he might know or suspect that diluc is the dnh. i’m inclined to believe that the events of diluc’s story quest took place between the sixth and seventh letters (where kaeya goes from a more vague suggestion that dnh and diluc would ‘get along well’ to outright stating that “my lips are sealed”) which casts the final letter exchange (Kaeya’s ninth letter and diluc’s second, which was in response to that) in an interesting light.

My complicated feelings about Diluc's character is that his character stories set him up on this loss of innocence arc, this previously naive child, who learns that the world is not black and white, that people he cares about could do "bad" things, be involved with "bad" people, and that they could have good or understandable reasons for doing "bad" things. But then he is put in scenarios where it is obvious he has the moral high ground and never has to work through morally complex scenarios and hard decisions.

(Like, I read this fic where Diluc is hunting down a fatui grunt, and Diluc is like "tell me what I want to know or I kill you" and the fatui is like " you really except me to betray my country and my family for you" and chooses death. And he is forced to acknowledge the other side could have just as righteous motives and parallel it with Kaeya who would be betraying his (blood) family if he sided with Mondstadt. Or any fic where someone comes after Diluc for revenge because he indiscriminately killed fatui in Snezhnaya and killed someone they cared about. Or his whole parallel with Signora who was also betrayed by the KOF and now hates Mond and is on the side of the fatui. Or Eroch, who is corrupt, but could be said to be acting for Mondstadt's greater good by preserving the people's faith in the KOF.)

They need to reveal more about Crepus' shady actions for Diluc's arc to work (did Diluc find out his father actually did terrible things to get the delusion or was he just a stoog). They need to tell us how Diluc felt about receiving a vision under the upbringing of Crepus, who is characterized as a faithful/religious man.

"Diluc's father had once said to him that the world would never turn its back on the faithful. But now, the Knights of Favonius trampled on his faith like it was nothing. He couldn't help but wonder: What was his father's view on faith in his final moments?"- Diluc's character story 3

"Visions are a light in the sea of darkness that surrounds those who have lost their way. But for those who have faith, they are little more than badges of conviction."- Diluc's vision voiceline

And now he uses his vision, after abandoning it during his father's death, but it is just a tool to him.

And then in Hidden Strife, we get this.

"I will go out and experience all that the world has to offer, just as you have suggested. My father’s will shall find continuation through me."

Which seems to change Diluc's three year trip to something that was done with a calm mind and rational thought, encouraged by Alice as a good way to deal with his grief, rather than something done in the height of anger and grief, resulting in him almost getting killed by the harbingers, contradicting his character stories:

"After his close encounter with death, Diluc took a long hard look at his past and the anger he had harbored for so long. Acknowledging his shortcomings, he decided to join the underground intelligence network."

and

"The events of his years away had purged him of his childish immaturity, and turned him into a hero ready to shoulder his father's will once more. Each night, from the shadows, he fought for Mondstadt."

I would love to see evidence of Diluc's supposed enlightenment and understanding gained from his tragedy and his three years away.

If it's not too much trouble, could you expand on Diluc's "already incoherent characterization" you mentioned in one of your recent posts? I'm just curious cause I also feel that there's something off about him writing-wise but I can't put my finger on it.

sigh. so, at the start of the game hoyo wrote diluc as super aggressive and negative towards kaeya specifically and knights in general, and all of their interactions are very hostile. they are having bitch fights every time they are in the same room.

like, fandom likes to pretend that diluc has guilt, bc of like some anonymous message on a public board that sounds like it's diluc feeling bad, which hoyo back-wrote. but they can't gaslight me, i just recently replayed start of the game content on my new account. like first time diluc appears is in kaeya's domain after traveler and kaeya cleared it, and diluc bitches at kaeya for no fucking reason and kaeya is v passive aggressive back at him. they have bitch fight in venti's quest. diluc's entire quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from discovering he's darknight hero and he specifically makes it known that kaeya is unwelcome every time he shows up in the tavern. and he sounds negative when bringing up kaeya for any reason.

and then hoyo started to back-pedal. idk what happened, maybe the direction of the plot shifted. maybe the writer who was writing them in this conflict vein quit. maybe at the start they only had vague idea of like brothers at war with each other, and once they started to flesh it out and add nuance, they've realized that like, burning your baby brothers' eye out might be understandable in the moment of trauma and shock, but then acting like you're on high horse and treating him like garbage for YEARS after is a bit of a psycho behavior.

quick aside bc i know there are ppl who think that, um, kaeya "deserved" it and like. he was what, not older than 10 when he was left at the winery. and he was about 17 when he confessed. he was a traumatized kid who kept a secret bc his bio father told him that the fate of his entire country depends on it. get a grip. but as i said, with the same logic, diluc was also in shock and trauma, and i do not fault him the fight itself. what doesn't track is how diluc acts years LATER, when he had time to think.

so they started to drastically soften diluc AND back-writing retcons. Hidden Strife letters are all about it. They were like oh, brothers were always in contact! Diluc is not a maniac, he was polite to the knights and he told kaeya to take care :) :) :) this creates new set of problems. not only it gives diluc personality split where he was incredibly aggressive to kaeya in person, but apparently normal in the letters. But also, we have letters from Kaeya that make it obvious he knew immediately that diluc is a darknight hero and they both were chill about it. But like! diluc's entire story quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from learning that! like, come on! why then diluc did all these stupid scooby doo shenanigans with slimes and shit???

now i think they are trying to shift responsibility for reconciliation from diluc to kaeya, which is the only issue that affects kaeya's own characterization. bc they are very hard going into "all servants at winery ADORE kaeya and treat him like family and welcome him!!" and fandom like, extends it to diluc now, like diluc is welcoming kaeya too and kaeya is a silly goose who has his hang ups and refuses to visit. as if getting your eye burned off, trying to reach out first and getting "ugh, its you" treatment when you show up at your brother's tavern is just like. a lil awkward situation that kaeya himself should get over without any effort on diluc's side and he should just ~realize~ that he's still part of the family lol. and ppl justify it like "well we don't know how diluc actually feels, he probably feels guilt (anon message) and wants to reconcile". which like. so we don't know, but kaeya is supposed to figure out and reach out AGAIN, when diluc at any time could've just told him that he's welcomed.

and now in kaeya's hangout we learn more about their childhoods which tbh hurts diluc even more. like how are we gonna be pretending that diluc cares about kaeya when he returned to mond and found his baby brother, who was apparently the sweetest gentlest child in the world, his loyal shadow for entire childhood, couldn't lie, was taking punishments for diluc, and see him now becoming a high functioning alcoholic with brazenly unhealthy persona of liar and manipulator, and like NOT get worried and try to reach out. which i don't think it was hoyo's intention, they just wanted to add the tragic sweetie uwu to kaeya's characterization, but they did not think how it reflect on diluc in global context

so now diluc's characterization flip flopped in several directions, and he doesn't really has an arc or plotline going. he's kinda just there now, more of symbol than character, and hoyo just writes whatever they want for him without any regard for any previous lore

[crownmemes]

Assorted Media Sentences, Vol. 18

(Sentences from various pieces of media. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You have a lot of love for him, don't you?"

"As tempting as your offer may be, I am a man of principles.... And they bribed me first."

"You're one of them, aren't you?"

"You're going to survive this, and you're going to see the bastards responsible suffer. I promise you that."

"I don't want to get you drunk, but that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking."

"You don't have to live in the past. Just let it go."

"Aren't you the cutest little thing when you're being shy?"

"You look so pretty in that dress!"

"Are you bringing home strays now?"

"I love a rum and coke in the middle of the day! It makes me feel like I'm on a tropical island!"

"You are not as charming as you think you are."

"Apart from feeling like someone stuck knitting needles in my ears, I'm fine!"

"You know that feeling you have that we've met before? It's the same with me."

"Strange how memory can come and go, isn't it?"

"You know what I said the other night about how I admire you? I really meant it."

"I came back to finish you off."

"Exciting? People are dying! I don't think exciting is the word I'd use to describe it!"

"We have existed this way for thousands of years. Who are you to challenge our ways?"

"Oh well. It's not the first time my heart's been broken."

"Tonight's the night I get some answers, one way or another."

"Tonight, the age of man comes to an end."

"Dying in a hail of bullets seems like such a waste, don't you think?"

"Who wears a suit to dispose of a body?"

"Are you rich? How much?"

"We got off to a rough start. It happens."

"That's a bad idea, but you're free to indulge it."

"Does a closed door mean nothing to you?"

"We all have our secrets - even me. Especially me."

"Drunk, I'm an open book. Sober, I'm cagey as hell."

"We're not trained in kindness. It's not a prerequisite. In fact, sometimes I think it's trained out of us."

"Can we go? This place is really freaking me out!"

"Wait a minute! You used me as bait?"

"Do you remember when you first felt an emotional attachment?"

"Aren't you getting a little tired of this? Because I know I am."

"You know, I think if you're going to do something stupid, love is probably the best excuse going."

"There's still a war going on, and I have a job to do."

"Never underestimate the female of the species. It won't end well."

"If once is a mistake and twice is unfortunate, what does that make this?"

"I'm not going to take advice from some thief!"

[hella1975]

it’s so cool that you’re going backpacking I’ve always wanted to do that! do you have any pictures or tips for ppl who want to go?

giving an early twenties gap year girlie a free pass to talk about when she backpacked europe is a DANGEROUS thing yes i will gladly talk in detail at length about it thank you so much. hold my hand. you're not going anywhere. stop struggling.

my europe trip!!!

so we did 11 cities in 9 countries in 28 days (france, belgium, germany, netherlands, czech, slovenia, hungary, austria, italy) staying at least one night in all of them except germany because THAT COUNTRY WANTS ME DEAD. here are some tips for people wanting to do something similar:

the official interrail pass is a LIFESAVER we literally paid ~£240 for a global 7 day pass and it meant we got over a dozen trains that individually would have all been £100+ like you save a STUPID amount of money

you don't have to book all your accom in advance. we booked for the first 2 weeks which was good bc we were still finding our feet and it made it less stressful, but for the last 2 weeks we would book accom literally as we got the train to the place in question and it made it much more flexible bc if we liked a place we'd just stay there another night

hostelworld is a really good app for this, very affordable while still being legit

BUY YOUR OWN PADLOCK! a lot of hostels have lockers to put your things in but will charge extra for a padlock to keep it secure

imo seat reservations on trains are generally a waste of money. take this tip w a pinch of salt bc i travelled in the non-tourist season, but we always managed to get seats on trains no matter how busy it was and booking seat reservations (the single time we did it) led to us wasting about 15 euros each to sit in different carriages, and then we were delayed and missed the 2nd train so didn't even get our booked seats AT ALL and we decided from then on to just firm it and not reserve any and honestly we were totally fine

look into the public transport of the specific place you're in beforehand. it is 100% better to utilise the public transport over getting taxis or walking everywhere but a lot of people get intimidated and waste the fact that most european countries have amazing public transport. the only thing i will say is to just check how people get tickets, if it's tap-on tap-off (a majority are), if it's paper tickets then where to validate them etc etc

if you're a female or female presenting solo traveller then at all times of year this is a VERY COMMON THING and is generally very safe. every hostel offers female only dorms and a lot of other travellers are very chatty, so it's easy to make friends or at least make sure people Know You're There. i had a couple instances of being the only girl in a 12 bed mixed dorm which made me very very antsy, but i was travelling with a man and i always made an effort to seek out any other girls in a hostel and ensure we all checked on each other

don't leave anything out in a hostel unless you're okay with losing it 😭 i thought i'd be okay bc im so paranoid i refused to leave ANYTHING out when i wasn't in the room and some fucker STILL took my goddamn sliders of all things

portable chargers, making sure you have the right adapter, charging your phone at any opportunity etc etc. the last thing you want is a dead phone. it's my mantra when travelling ANYWHERE that as long as i still had my passport and my phone then everything else could work itself out and that's coming from someone whose CARD GOT SHREDDED IN VIENNA AND GENERALLY HAS CARTOONISHLY ROTTEN LUCK WHEN ABROAD. ALWAYS be vigilant about these two things

do the tourist things! go to the famous sights! i mean this so seriously! but also try find little hole in the wall spots too! my highlights of the trip are very traditional things like the colosseum and the eiffel tower and lake bled etc etc we even did a couple big bus tours that were really fun but then i also have the time we went drinking w locals in zaandam and wound up dancing in this really random bar we never would have found otherwise or the restaurant we found in paris hidden behind a whole other building where they sat strangers on the same table and we got a 3 course meal and a bottle of wine for 20 euros like try get a good mix of Known Sights and Hidden Gems

skincare products will be a godsend after one 11 hour train journey too many fr keep some moisturiser on you at all times 😭

on that note also, you'll figure this out as you go but try pack your bag tactically bc there's nothing worse than being 5 hours deep into a train ride and realising you Desperately Want something that you know is right at the bottom of your massive fuck off backpack

i know i said i swear by hostelworld but SOMETIMES hostels work out more expensive than some shitty hotel or an airbnb so make sure to check ALL accomodation options. our last stop of the trip was 4 nights in rome and it wound up being significantly cheaper for us to stay in a 2* hotel right in the middle of the city than it was to get any of the hostels that would have put us on the outskirts

final tip is if this is truly something you want to do then START PLANNING!!! backpacking is a super affordable way of seeing a lot of beautiful countries in one go. it really didn't take me as long as i thought it would to save for this and i'd say if you're being really disciplined you can do the whole thing (the WHOLE thing like travel, accom and spending) for just £1k. i also think staying in hostels and getting trains and lugging a big bag around is actually much more rewarding than doing it a fancy way. like it forces you to interact with the country you're in and that doesn't always happen if you just get fancy hotels. go go go!

here are some of my fav pics!!! tho i am not good at taking pics so bear with also 10 pic limit so ill reblog with more bc i took hundreds

paris:

brussels:

köln:

prague:

[marisol-000]

The Sandbox Scientists ch.2

Chapter 2! I can't believe how long this got, I had to push some stuff to the next chapter sooooo look out for that one!

(a03)

The boys didn't take the news that they weren't going home well.

There were lots of tears and crying and yelling until eventually weak promises and the offer of cookies calmed them down.

She couldn't blame them of course, the poor things suddenly waking up in a place they don't recognize with people they don't remember.

But what could they do? Neither she nor Robert knew where Jekyll had lived, just “somewhere” in Glasgow; and forget Edward 'street urchin’ Hyde!

Even if they could send them home it probably wouldn't be a good idea. Whatever had happened to her friends was likely temporary, or at least more likely to be solved by one of the scientists here than any townie in scotland.

All they could do now was try to keep the two comfortable while they looked for a solution.

And the first step to that was to get the boys in some fitting clothes!

“Right, but we don't have any. This isn't exactly a daycare.” Robert mused.

“Well you seem to forget! I'm quite the gifted seamstress!” Rachel bragged, wiping some cookie dough off her hands.

She flipped the patterned rag over her shoulder. “I can have some outfits going for these two in no time.”

Robert leaned around her, peeking into the kitchens where the two were playing tag. Henry kept tripping over his pants which slowed him down, but Edward couldn't seem to catch him anyways; not stepping wide enough and his arms not quite reaching, so there seemed to be no clear winner.

He let the door swing shut.

“Hmm, A whole wardrobe? For two boys? There's no telling how long they'll be this way. We'll need shirts, slacks, vests, coats, shoes and who knows what else. I'd much prefer taking him to a tailor.”

“Him?” Rachel raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, “I suppose you mean Henry.”

“Yes Henry.” he said unflinchingly, “You can't expect me to take Edward Hyde to the bloody tailor, he's still a wanted criminal you know.”

“He's a child!”

“He's a nuisance! He'll probably knock a candle over and set the shop on fire, it's in his nature.” he huffed.

Rachel paused and clenched her hands. She fixed him with a nasty glare.

“Don’t talk like you know him! That fire was *not* his fault! Master Hyde is a sweet boy who’s not done *anything* wrong.”

Lanyon hesitated, surprised by her sudden attitude change. Regardless he cleared his throat.

“Well, you seem to have forgotten about all the drinking and bar fights he’s known for. He's a bad influence. I don’t want him anywhere near Henry.”

Rachel rolled her eyes, “He is *not* a bad influence.”

She walked into the kitchen, swinging the door open and holding her arm out to gesture. “Edward Hyde is a charming young man who would never do anything wrong, much less convince Henry of all people to do so too!”

Both boys were on a chair, eating raw cookie dough directly from the bowl.

They blinked at the adults with their big round eyes.

Robert crossed his arms over his puffed chest, turning to her with an infuriating smirk.

Rachel sighed and got them cleaned up.

First Edward, then she balanced Henry on her hip while leaning over the sink. He was old enough to use the bar of soap by himself but she couldn’t resist wiping his rosy cheeks, humming while she dried his hands with her apron.

His feet barely touched the floor before Robert grabbed his arm and whisked him towards the door.

“Oi! And where do you think you’re going?” Rachel yelped.

“To the tailor, as I said.” Clearly believing he won that argument. Which he hadn't! She just… hadn't had the best timing.

“While he looks like that?” she gestured to Henry’s oversized and by now wrinkled clothes. “Robert, people are gonna think you kidnapped him.”

“Well how do you-” Lanyon made a shooing motion towards Edward, who was trying to follow them, “How do you expect the tailor to make him clothes without measuring him?”

Rachel rolled her eyes, sometimes she couldn't tell when he was being a helpless rich boy who couldn’t do anything himself or just plain stubborn. 

“I’ll take the measurements, they don’t need him there in person. I’ll measure both boys and you can take that to them. 

And say it’s for nephews come to town! No one’s gonna believe Robert Bleeding Lanyon of all people is taking in poor orphans.” That got a snort out of him.

Privately she didn't think it was a good idea to separate the two so soon, they only just stopped crying. And they'd been sticking close together since she and Robert found them. Seemingly feeling safe and comfortable with each other.

She snickered to herself. She couldn’t wait to tell Dr. Jekyll and Hyde how cute they were together.

Once they warmed up to the place the kids will be back at each other's throats in no time!

“Besides, you probably couldn't handle one child much less two.” she smirked.

Robert huffed, Take that! Who's winning now Robert?, and crossed his arms while sitting back down at the table.

“Fine, whatever, just measure them already.”

Rachel ushered the boys to her room, wrapped a measuring tape around the wiggly worms, and wrote a list of things for Lanyon to buy. With notes on fabric types and colors. Lots of Red and Green of course!

As much as she would have loved to see Edward in Eli's old clothes, they hadn't kept any from that age.

The neighborhood they had lived in was in constant need of hand-me-downs, and they hadn't been expecting to need things to remember him by…

Anyway!!!!! That just meant that it was time for her favorite activity:

Dress up time!

‘Edward Hyde’ was not enjoying dress up time.

They liked Rachel, the woman who found them, well enough. She was making them cookies after all, but she's so grabby!

Especially with him, he couldn’t go longer than a minute without being practically picked up in hugs or stuffed with various snacks.

Not that he didn’t want them, he was SUPER hungry after waking up, but the way she squealed when he said ‘Thank you’ hurt his ears.

Henry…it felt weird to call someone else his name. He tried to think of it like the two Jeffery’s in his class, who both had the same name. Instead of someone else who was him.

Henry didn’t like being prodded either. Whispering as much to him when she left the room with her note.

He agreed, and hoped whatever “Situation” the adults said they had to be here for would be over soon.

“Alright! Here are those cookies I promised you, *cooked* this time.” Rachel pouted, entering the room with a silver tray.

“You two are welcome to any books I have when you're done, I'm gonna be busy for a while.” With that she sat at some sort of machine. And started using it to stitch some fabric together.

He knew how to stitch! Well, kinda, Momma had shown him a few times, but putting dead animals back together was different than clothes.

He snuck glances at the boy who was also Henry, who occasionally glanced back.

He wanted to talk to him so bad, surely if they were the same person then he had done that too?

He wanted to ask so many questions, and try things he couldn’t do alone. It was thrilling to potentially have a friend that was willing to do weird stuff with him.

But for now Rachel was in the room, and adults never liked his ‘science’ much.

The two of them sat in silence and ate their cookies.

After what felt like hours the woman straightened up with a pop in her back.

“Whew! Two pairs of shirts and pants in record time! Ready to try them on?”

He looked up and nodded eagerly, dropping the dreadfully boring romance novel, “Yeah! It’s so cold in here.”

She whipped her head to look at him, pigtails flying.

“Oh! I’m so sorry Edward, I should have noticed! I’ll get you some blankets and more of Jekyll's socks, I’m sure we can layer them til you're warm again!”

He was sure she could layer them to the point that he would never walk again.

“Er, no thanks! The clothes will be fine.” he said, dodging another hug.

Henry snickered softly, out of Rachel's hearing. He snuck around and inspected the clothes she put together for them.

They were nothing fancy, buttonless white shirts and coal black pants. The stitching for both of them looked to be black too, but upon closer inspection it was actually a dark green, it seemed she had a lot of green lying around.

He wondered if she would notice if they took out the thread later, or if this was a ‘gift’ they'd have to rewear, like with his extended family.

“Well, when you two are done, come back to the kitchen and I’ll make you something more filling than cookies!” she said, and muttered, “God knows you two don't eat enough.”

“Yes ma’am.” they said in unison. 

With another squeak and a giddy grin she shut the door behind her.

A few minutes later, the door slowly creaks open. And two heads pop out.

Archer was losing his mind. Maybe he saw wrong? Or was finally going mad like the general public believed.

Surely something had happened to his head because he could have sworn he just saw a child.

Two even.

“Uh…did you see that?” he asked Bird, welding pen loose in his grip.

Bird looked up from adjusting one of his contained moss cultures, “Hmm? See what mate?”

Archer was leaning comedically far in his chair to see out the door, cord stretching to its limit.

“Just. Two little…I don’t know, ghosts maybe? One of Maijabi’s do you think?”

Bird raised an eyebrow, “Something on the loose in the society again? Should we tell the others?”

“Uh, could be my imagination.” he said, but set the pen down where it wouldn't burn anything. He stretched his arms above his head and groaned.

“Well, I’m overdue fer a break anyway, it’s been a while since anything interesting’s happened around here.”

Flowers was on the hunt.

She was on her way to the kitchens for a bite when she saw a short shadow dart through the common room.

Fortunately she had all sorts of equipment in her pockets, a true scientist is always prepared! But for some reason her emf reader wasn’t picking anything up.

Not under a couch… not behind this case…

The clack of shoes alerted her to someone approaching but she was more interested in the sound of wheels or metal boots.

“Hello Flowers, what are you looking for?” Tweedy then, she should remember to ask about some more batteries before he left. Her mosquitoes were too small to include a charging port.

“A small robot,” she said, checking under a table, “ ‘bout waist height. I think one of Pennybrigg’s creations is on the loose.”

“Oh, is that what I saw? I thought Ito shrank someone again.” he laughed loudly.

“Yeesh, that woman can be cruel when she's pissed off. Still can’t believe Dr. Jekyll taught her how to do that.” she shuddered.

Tweedy leaned on an armchair, derailed from whatever he’d been doing, “Actually I heard it was Hyde, everyone forgets he is Jekyll’s lab assistant.”

“Ah, well I’ll believe Hyde did that.”

On the floor above, Lavender rushed in, skidding to a stop before the railing. A large net slung over her shoulder.

“Excuse me! Has anyone seen any kids around here?”

Flowers and Tweedy looked up at her in shock.

“Kids?! I thought that was a robot?” Flowers gaped.

“Well *I* thought it was one of our creatures. I saw something slip out of our lab and was chasing it, but it turns out there's actually human children running around the society!” Lavender wheezed.

“I can’t emphasize enough how dangerous this place is for kids.”

The two on the ground floor looked at each other, slack-jawed, then scrambled to help her search.

“Well, we’ll just hope none of your creatures slipped out after them!”

By now it had spread throughout the society that somehow, for some reason, there were children there.

A good amount of lodgers were gathered in a random hallway, loudly trying to figure out what was going on.

“Is it true? Are there really children here?” someone asked.

“Sure are!” Pennybrigg laughed, “I saw them with my own eyes!”

“Huh, I thought that's what that was but I didn't think anyone would be dumb enough to let kids in here.” 

“Does anyone know how many? We can’t have any left behind that's for sure.”

“Just two. I had to chase them out of my lab.” Griffin huffed, “The damn brats laughed at me.”

That earned a few snickers from the very mature adults in the room.

“How’d they even get in here is my question.”

“Well, it’s not like we keep the doors locked, it's probably just some curious teens here for a lark.”

“No, they looked younger than that. What if they're lost and need help?”

“Has anyone seen Dr. Jekyll? He’ll want to know about this.”

“Screw Jekyll! We don’t need him to hold our hands all the time, we can find two kids by ourselves!”

“But if they get hurt it’ll reflect badly on the society!”

The crowd murmured in worry, with people either confirming they locked their labs or resolving to. Luckett cursed and sprinted off right then, almost losing his hat in his haste.

“Then we’ll just find them before they get hurt! Come on, less talking, more looking!” someone said, clapping their hands loudly.

With that the crowd split off into different hallways.

“I GOT ‘EM!”

Twenty minutes later there came a cry from Ranjit Helsby.

Like a flock of birds the lodgers descended upon him. Cheering and pushing to see his catch.

“You cheeky buggers can’t hide from us!” Helsby crowed.

The exploratory bathynaut was carrying one child in each hand.

Scruffed and struggling like kittens, the two were yelping and crying for help.

They seemed to be about the same age. One was brunette, with a healthy flush, and dark brown eyes. He was yelling to be put down and kicking his legs in the air.

The other was smaller, frailer, a little pale but was squirming and kicking the same. He had a wild shock of blond hair, and quite the set of lungs, his voice quickly growing hoarse from his shouting.

The outfits they were wearing were odd. They weren't anything fancy, though they certainly weren't the rags worn by street urchins. Bizarrely, neither of them were wearing shoes. Just plain clothes with visible stitching.

Contemplative, Flowers reached into her pocket.

“Oh Helsby, put them down already!” Cantilupe cried, “They’re damn near the verge of tears!”

Sure enough the boys looked like they were about to start bawling. With the blond starting to hiccup, and the brunette's lip wobbling dangerously.

Pouting, Helsby did, trusting the wall of lodgers to prevent their escape.

Predictably the boys were off the second their feet touched the floor. Everyone reaching arms out and bumping into each other to catch them.

However they didn't try to escape, simply darting for the nearest person wearing a dress. Who happened to be Chabra.

They crashed into her, nearly knocking her off balance. She startled but didn’t pull away. The small boys took hold in fistfuls and buried their faces in her skirt.

Chabra leaned down and awkwardly, cautiously, put her hands on their backs.

“Aww, guys we scared them! They're just babies!” Archer cooed from the crowd, triggering a flood of coos from everyone else.

The blond one peeked out to give a glare, but it was watered down by his red nose and big eyes.

“W-Who are you people? Leave us alone!”

Lavender curiously offered her skirt to the boy closest to her, the brunette.

He eyed it for a moment, then took the bait, reaching a pudgy hand out to the fabric. He didn’t grab on though, only running a hand over it a few times.

Incapable of going one at a time, the lodgers began bombarding the two with questions.

“Are you lost?”

“Do you need us to find your parents?”

“Who sent you??”

“Wot? Nobody-”

“Yeah what? They're literally children!”

“That's what they want you to think!”

“Do you want to see me set this plant on fire?”

“What are your names?”

“Hen-er- Ed-”

“Henderson you say, I had a cousin named that, but my uncle's name wasn’t Hender!”

“Oh, shut up Bryson!”

“No my names-!”

“Do you know someone by the name of Rachel Pigdley?”

The two boys look up at that.

Amidst the swarm of questions, Flowers had managed to win their attention, the other lodgers quieting down attentively.

The boys hesitate, suspicious. They whisper to each other, not even Chabra able to hear despite still leaning at an awkward angle.

“Do *you* know Rachel?”

Flowers puffed in pride at her hypothesis being confirmed. She relaxed her grin into a softer, hopefully reassuring smile.

“I do, she's the Day Manager. Next to Dr. Jekyll, she's the boss around here. Though she’s quite nice when you get to know her.”

Pushing someone out of the way, she approached the boys and carefully knelt by them.

She reached into her pocket. And turned it inside out.

“You see? Rachel’s a friend of mine. She sewed some pockets into my dress for me.” Flowers showed the boys the stitching on her inner pockets. The thread was a lighter shade of green than theirs, to match her dress, but visibly the same pattern and spacing.

She could have done them herself but these ones had been thanks for fixing an alarm clock Hyde had broken when he came in a window once.

This more than anything seemed to convince the boys. They let go of Chabra completely and leaned over her pocket like curious birds.

“Yeah! Rachel patches up some of my stuff too!” Sinnet jumped in.

He raised the elbow of his shirt, where a large brown patch was surrounded by some soot that had never washed out.

Some of the others pitched in, getting the idea.

“Yeah mine too!”

“And me!”

The two boys seem convinced and relax fully. A few people let out sighs of relief that they wouldn't have crying kids on their hands.

“Do you live here too?” asked the blond, looking around at all the people.

Sinnet looked at him quizzically, “Too?”

“Yeah, like Rachel and Robert.”

“Oh, yeah! Can't say I know any Roberts, though.”

“They mean Dr. Lanyon dear. Dr. Robert Lanyon, our co-founder?” Lavender sighed.

“Huh, I didn't think he liked kids, you suppose they’re new recruits of some kind?”

“Do we look like babysitters? Half the things in this building could kill a child like *that*!” Luckett snapped his fingers.

To everyone’s surprise the two boys gasped in excitement, “Really?!”

They didn't look scared, they looked eager. And… curious?

“Er…yeah actually. Do you… want to see them?”

Lavender smacked the man on the shoulder, “Luckett!”

“Come on! You saw their faces!  Remember when you were that age and curious about the world? I'd bet anything these two are scientists!” he nodded confidently.

That got some excited whispers. Everyone turned to look at the two boys.

Their mismatched eyes were open as wide as possible, jaws dropped. “You-you’re scientists?” asked the brunette.

Nods from the crowd.

They looked at each other, then back. “We’re scientists!!!”

“That settles it! Let’s give them the grand tour!!”

The lodgers broke into cheers and lifted the boys up, prancing up the stairs as fast as they could.

As the others raced towards the nearest lab, Cantilupe and Maijabi followed at a more leisurely pace.

Once they reached the landing, the rapid click of flats managed to reach their ears.

Glancing over, they watched as Rachel ran through the halls and the common room. Calling out and frantically checking behind furniture.

“Oh, there's Miss Pidgley. I was beginning to think something had happened to her to have left those boys alone so long.” said Cantilupe.

Maijabi squinted, adjusting his eyepatch, “Hm, least she could’ve done was give us a heads up if there were new lodgers. It’s not like her.”

She paused to take a breath and called out again, “Edward! Henry! Edwaaaardd!!”

“Ah, that explains it, Hyde’s on the loose again.” Cantilupe giggled.

“Ha! That'll keep her busy fer a while. Suppose we’ll have to ask about the boys later then.”

Cantilupe nodded in agreement and they carried on behind the others.

Rachel checked the candelabras to make sure no candles were knocked over.

[the-lights-are-loud]

Light's House as Batfam Part 5

Tim, who has been looking around the house all day for his missing energy drink can finally giving up and grabbing a new one: Where did that can go?

Jason: I dunno, but it's kinda pathetic. Are you really that sleep-deprived?

Tim, setting the drink down and getting up to grab another file for a case: I don't even know anymore

Steph and Cass walk into the room. Steph clocks the energy drink and sneakily snatches it. Cass was the only one to see it.

Tim, turning back towards where his drink was: Where the f-

Jason: did you seriously lose it again?!

Masterlist

[this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it]

Lois and Clark 2x13

[sunsetzer]

On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

[daisywords]

"you should be at the club" and why on earth would I want to???

[artemisbarnowl]

Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ Χ��ΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

[yuwuta]

CAN’T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF (I MEAN I COULD, BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO?) — JJK BOYS + TOO HOT

featuring. gojo, okkotsu, choso, itadori, fushiguro

content, warnings. playing too hot with the jjk boys—(too hot is a party game in which two people kiss while keeping their hands to themselves; the first person to touch their partner loses), making out, tongue sucking, uhhh slight predator/prey in yuuta’s oops, they’re a bunch of losers to be honest, there’s a word for the thing yuuji does but i don't know it lolol

word count. 1.6k

SATORU GOJO Satoru is prideful, but you also know that he is nothing if not handsy, borderline clingy on his worst days. The concept of personal space is foreign to him, he’s rarely not touching you when you’re in his proximity, and when you aren’t, he closes that gap—so you’re confident that he’ll lose this game. 

And he does. It takes ninety-two seconds for Satoru to put his hands on you; his palms cupping your cheeks, forcing your jaw open for him to lick at your tongue. You yelp in surprise, try to take in your victory, taunt that you’ve won, but Satoru’s playing an entirely different game now. “I know, I lost,” he pushes his thumbs at the corners of your mouth, parting your lips and staring at your open mouth. Briefly, his eyes flicker to yours, drinks in your pliant expression, the soft touch of your fingers around his wrists, the feel of your body sinking below him, and he smiles, “But I want something else right now. Indulge me?” 

You tap at his right wrist and he moves his thumbs away from your lips, stroking against the soft skin of your cheeks instead so you can speak, “You lost, you’re not supposed to make demands.” 

“Take pity on a rookie like me, won’t you?” Satoru hums, tilting his head to kiss your cheek, then closer, just below your bottom lip, “Please, sweets?” 

“Depends on what you want,” you pout, but your words are strained against Satoru’s kisses. He grins, guiding a thumb back to your lips, this time pressing past the barrier of your lips until they’re wrapped around his digit, smile turning cheshire when he feels you sucking, “I have a different game we can play instead.” 

YUUTA OKKOTSU “Ah, ah—” you pull away from Yuuta, much to his dismay, pulling the hem of your shirt from his grasp, “That counts as touching. You’re not supposed to touch, Yuuta.” 

He’s looking at you intensely, gaze bordering on predatory, slow blinking with blown-out pupils. He nods shallowly, moving his hand from where it was to your side, palm pressing into the couch next to your thigh; it lets him that much closer to you, the tip of his nose grazing yours, you can feel his laborious breaths tickle your lips. Yuuta tilts his head ever so slightly and pauses, blinks, waits—for you to make a sound, for you to tell him no again, for you to run. 

You don’t. He shifts his weight and positions his other hand to rest at your side, caging you between his arms, slotting you underneath his gaze. You curl underneath him, backing up until you’re pressed against the arm of the couch, until Yuuta’s crawled to slot his knee between your legs. You crane your neck away, but you’re still within his reach, and now you’ve presented the perfect canvas for him. He dips his head into your collarbone, leaves a deceptively soft kiss there before nosing up the expanse of your exposed skin and sinking his teeth into your neck. 

Yuuta feels you tense underneath him, body going rigid in a moment of surprise, and then slacking with an exhaled moan, like a bitten bunny. Reflexively, your hands find purchase in his hair, and Yuuta nips over the tender skin, and smiles, “Caught you.” 

CHOSO KAMO “You’re nervous,” you conclude, pulling away from the shallow kiss Choso gave you. 

Beside you, he’s flushed, a hand coming up to reach at the back of his neck as he replies, “I don’t know why,” he exhales, “It’s just... weird to not touch you. I have to think about not touching you, and that means I have to think, which tends to make me, you know... nervous.” 

You giggle, leaning in closer to him, careful not to touch; careful to keep your hips raised above his, even as you straddle him, keep your arms and hands at your sides even though the instinct is to wrap them around Choso’s neck. He doesn’t pull back, even though he should; you like that he doesn’t. “You don’t like to think about me?” 

“No—no! Not like that,” he’s too loud for the proximity, sighing in embarrassment shortly after; you’re too close, way too close, and he’s not supposed to touch, but he wants to—Choso doesn’t like this feeling of restraint, of constriction; it’s too close to when he had a hopeless crush on you, to when he was pining and praying you’d spare him the time of day. Isn’t the point of dating that he gets to have you? To touch you, to hold you—to not hold back? 

“Because I like to think about you,” you admit, leaning in even closer, pressing a kiss to the base of Choso’s neck—and he whines, “I think about you a lot, Choso.” 

The sound of his name from your lips is sweet torture, as is the way you trail your kisses up his neck, up his jaw, behind his ear. Choso’s certain he’s going to rip a hole in his jeans with how taut he’s pulling them between his fists. This isn’t fair—nothing about this is fair. “I don’t want to play anymore,” Choso whines, eyes screwing shut when you suck a hickey onto his collar.

“But we’ve only just started,” you giggle against his skin, “And nobody’s won yet.”

Choso bites his lips, his knuckles are sore, his resolve is weak, and you smell good, you feel good—and he can’t do this. Pathetic, maybe, but he doesn’t care; he didn’t make you yours to try and stay away from you. So, Choso gives in, unwinds his fists, places one hand on your waist, and the other against your back, pulling you flush against him, and burying his face in your neck. 

“There, I lose,” he grumbles, not caring for your laughter reverberating against his chest, “Now I can touch you as much as I want.” 

YUUJI ITADORI “Th—this isn’t fair,” you tremble, attempting to move away from his kisses, but you’re caged in between Yuuji and the wall. There’s nowhere for you to run, nothing for you to grab purchase onto but Yuuji—nothing to do but lose. 

“I didn’t hear any rules against this,” he feigns innocence, suckling at your skin, “Think it’s fair game.”

You close your eyes, trying to focus on something, anything else, but it’s hard when all you can see, all you can feel is Yuuji, Yuuji, Yuuji. Kissing up your neck, at your cheek, then your lips, and you find yourself sighing into his touch, balling your hands into fists to avoid the temptation of cupping his face. 

Yuuji moans when he feels your tongue against his, kisses you back fervently, swirling his tongue across yours and into the cavity of your mouth. He inhales all your breaths, makes it impossible for you to do anything but succumb to his kiss, to swallow his moans, to take everything he gives you. You didn’t expect Yuuji to have this much resolve—you’d anticipated a short, cute round of a silly party game, but you should have known better; Yuuji has never lost a challenge before, and you were naive, at best, to think otherwise.

Predictably, it’s you that lets go first, whining when Yuuji sucks on your tongue, hands trembling and reaching to hold him, to cling to him as some kind of recourse, unable to squirm or move anywhere else. That doesn’t stop him—Yuuji only sucks harder, only forces more moans out of you until you’re digging your nails into his shoulders and bending your knees, weak. 

Then he pulls back, leaving you breathless, tilting his head up to kiss your forehead and flashing you a grin that’s equal parts boyish and wicked with intent, “I win.” 

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO It’s the kind of thing he usually turns down; cliché, fruitless, and unnecessarily time-consuming; but it’s you, so he makes the exception. You’re too eager, positioning yourself to sit on your hands, your legs folded under your knees, peering up at him from where he’s sat slack against the couch, and he thinks you look awful cute on your knees for him.

“Okay, ready?” you smile, “Three, two—” but Megumi already knows his plan, already has his lips on yours before you can say “one,” drinking in your surprised yelp and greedily licking against your tongue when you part your lips to kiss him back. He turns his body towards you slightly, taking advantage of his height and position to bully you into chasing him upwards, to push his tongue into your mouth with ease. 

He indulges in the back and forth for a while, sighs into your kisses, groans when you nip at him. It’s when you pull away, that Megumi decides he’s played along long enough; when he can see your chest swell with heaving breaths, see your hands in your lap, neck craned and spit-slick lips that drive him to reach for you. He’s less than gentle, hands finding purchase on your hips, and forcefully pulling you into his lap, ignoring your yelping, choosing to turn them into moans when he sinks his teeth into your neck. Megumi licks, and bites, and bites, and bites, until he’s certain he’s left a mark, until he feels your hands tugging at his hair and giving him permission to splay his palms against your back and buck you forward.  

“I lose,” he hums, soothing over raw bitten skin with open-mouthed kisses, “So, how do you wanna punish me?”

[tame-the-lion-writes]

cat shifter reader x 141 pt.2

ik these are short but they're always written in class and I'm simultaneously in constant fear of being cold called wHOops

"Why was I couched?"

"'Cause you didn't wanna look for the cat."

"Well, she ain't a cat now, is she?"

Soap argues with Gaz in the living room while fluffing up his pillow, tossing and turning as he tries to get comfy. Farm life has done them all good, but now that he's had a taste of a downy bed, it's impossible to go back to stiff, spring cushions.

"No," Ghost mutters under his breath, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes flicker to the bedroom door that hides you, tucked safely into Soap's bed. "She's not."

"Maybe it's a prank," Soap continues. "Maybe it's her cat, and they have matching necklaces or something."

"And we didn't notice a whole human being sleeping in our barn this entire time? Or sneaking into it?" Gaz scoffs. "Either retirement has done a number on us, or she's a cat."

"Or we're idiots," Price sighs. "People don't turn into cats, Gaz."

"What other explanation is there?"

The four go silent for a few seconds before Ghost pushes himself off the wall. "I'll check on the girl. See if she's still runnin' a fever."

Price nods, but once Ghost is out of sight and down the hall, walks to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a drink. "We'll call the authorities in the mornin'. See if she's on a missing persons' list."

Unfortunately for him, when Ghost goes to check on their uninvited guest, he instead digs through nearly-empty sheets to find a cat--wide awake and frog-blinking as if drunk from illness.

_

Bonus Thoughts:

Simon walks back and holds you up like someone who doesn't know how to hold a baby. Price does a spit-take at the sight of the familiar cat, because there's no way a grown woman just hopped out of the house and they didn't hear anything.

The next few moments just have Ghost setting you down on the coffee table while everyone stares at you in deep contemplation.

At least you're not hostile right now--which is a first. You're kinda too out of it to process where you are because you've never been inside the main house, and you miss your Soap's warm sheets.

Gaz -- "... Does this mean we're keeping her?"

Soap -- "Does this mean I get my bed back?"