#we spent the trip in a hotel across from the sea and the moment i stepped off the airport bus and saw it--this endless sweep of steely blue

[thewinedarksea]

the all-important water picture round-up

[lisired]

dead men tell no tales

pairing: johnny x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, gun usage, descriptions of death and violence

summary: five years ago, you were part of a unit assigned to eliminate the head rival of a crime syndicate. the plan backfired miserably. ever since you have been laying low, but then your former boss calls you with alarming news.

word count: 23k

a/n: part 1/3 of my wanted: dead or alive series. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Maybe it was only your paranoid instincts, but from the minute you woke up, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something about today was very, very off. 

Though to be fair, you always had that feeling. Nowhere was too safe. You were constantly glimpsing over your shoulder and bouncing across the globe to evade potential predators that wanted to stain the walls with your blood. Your mind was always screaming. 

Until you met Johnny, that is. There was something about him that put you at ease from the moment you met eight months ago at a hotel poolside. He was just so damn easygoing and chill. The world could be burning and Johnny would still find a way to make you laugh, as if nothing was ever wrong.  

He was an American nomad, bred of admirable spontaneity, which gave you the perfect excuse to wander without him asking any important questions. Johnny spent months courting you relentlessly and whisking you away on trips all over the world. But it wasn’t his money that drew you to him. You were more interested in his uncanny ability to subdue the monsters in your head. 

You didn’t know how or why, but the cacophony of screams died when you were with Johnny. The reckless, heaving water became gentle waves crashing against the shoreline. 

Now here you were, in some lavish hotel in Monaco with the entire Mediterranean sea right outside your balcony, and you had never been happier. Your whole relationship with Johnny consisted of taking vast trips together. He wasn’t in any rush to settle down and you didn’t have that privilege, though you’d made it abundantly clear you were committed to each other. 

Johnny didn’t want to come on too strong. Getting to know one another was a slow and steady process, given that neither of you were none too forthcoming, but Johnny was adamant on learning all there was to know about you. And to your surprise, he had been moderately successful. 

But there was one tiny secret you never let slip. 

Johnny was snuggling up to you like a baby bear, which was ironic considering the sheer size of him, and it was the cutest thing ever. “I love traveling the world with you,” he mumbled into your neck. 

“One day, it’ll be ours,” you replied, grinning from ear to ear. 

“I don’t want it. I’d give it all to you.”

You snorted and joked, “And let me be solely responsible for all of its ugly? No thank you. I’d prefer we share custody.”

Johnny laughed. Before he could come up with another response, there was a knock at the door of your luxury suite. You glanced towards him, startled. “Did you invite company?” you asked. 

“No, but I did tell my boss where he could find me if anything important came up at work,” Johnny said quietly, apparently as confused as you were. “I’ll get the door.”

You didn’t want to let him go. Most of your life had been spent in shady hotels and you never answered an unknown visitor without a gun. Your survival instincts flared up again, but it wasn’t only yourself that you feared for now. Sometimes you wondered if you were selfishly putting him at risk. 

Any friend of yours was an enemy of your enemies. You had seen them come and go, temporary like everything else in your life, but Johnny was different. You wanted him to stay. 

Almost immediately after Johnny stood to answer the door, tugging his shirt back over his head, your phone began ringing on the nightstand. You recognized the contact and pressed the phone to your ear. “Hey, Doie. What’s up?”

“Are you around anyone?”

Between the curtness of his question and the sharpness in his tone, you couldn’t decide which baffled you more. “Yes. Why?”

“Keep your face straight and your voice level,” Doyoung said sternly. “Can you get away from them?”

You glanced up at Johnny. He’d returned from the door by now with an envelope in hand, watching you with furrowed brows. “Yes.”

“Do it now.”

With a few seconds delay so as to not raise too much suspicion, you rose from the bed and mouthed to Johnny, “Business stuff.” Then you excused yourself to the balcony. 

Johnny nodded in understanding. 

When the balcony door was shut behind you, you spoke up again. “I did what you asked, but I’m at a hotel. He’s nearby.”

“I know,” was all Doyoung said. 

That did nothing but strengthen your bewilderment. “What do you mean by you know?”

Doyoung cut to the chase. He sounded perturbed. “Listen to me very carefully. Margo was killed this morning.”

You gawked. “What?”

“Single shot to the back of the neck. Close distance. No sniper.”

Despite the humid weather outside, the most aggressive shudder shot down your spine. “We can’t be certain that has anything to do with us,” you said, but it was obvious you hadn’t even convinced yourself. 

“I’m certain.”

The balcony door opened and you jolted, but tried to regain your composure when you realized it was only Johnny. “My bad,” he said, raising his hands. “I’m getting my letter opener.”

You nodded, smiling thinly at him. There was no way in hell you wanted to give away the nature of the phone call you were currently having. “How come?”

Doyoung explained, “Sol was killed two weeks ago. He opened a laced letter. Invisible powder. Nobody knew until today because they assumed he was on vacation. You know how he likes to go off-grid. He never even saw it coming.”

“Fuck,” you grumbled under your breath, although Johnny had already slipped back inside as quickly as he’d come. 

“Dispose of your cellphone as soon as possible,” Doyoung instructed, naturally falling back into his position as your supervisor. “Do you remember the location?”

Glancing around, you searched for signs of suspicious activity. It felt like you were being watched. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Of course.”

“Get a burner and message me from that number when you get close. This phone will still be active. I’ll meet you there. Do you copy?”

“Yes,” you said, chilled by that tone. You hadn’t heard it in five years. Not since your last mission together. 

Doyoung hung up. He was curt and to the point like that. When danger was imminent, there was no time to waste on niceties. This was not your friend Doyoung you’d come to know, but the cold leader of a formidable undercover unit. 

Then a thought came to your mind and you rushed back inside the hotel room, immediately finding Johnny and frantically asking, “Did you open the envelope?”

Johnny’s eyes flickered. “No, but I was about to. Why?”

“Don’t touch it. Please.”

Johnny obliged, but he was catching on. “You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”

Rather than answer, you paraded over to your nightstand and retrieved a gun from beneath a stack of magazines in the drawer. Maybe you were considerably less paranoid than before, but you weren’t a dumbass. You still had enemies that would pay a pretty penny to have your head on a stick. 

Johnny gawked at the weapon in your hand, presumably loaded. “Baby, what the hell?”

“So, change of plans,” you started, grabbing your suitcase and hurling it onto the bed, and began to toss your belongings inside. There weren’t many. This life had taunted you never to pack more than what you needed. “We’re going to the United States.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s happening,” Johnny replied sternly, coming to your side. “Why do you have a gun?”

A sigh escaped your lips and your eyes winced closed. This was the day you had always feared; the one where the time would come for your darkness to come to light. Johnny admired you for the pretty little image of yourself you’d painted in front of him. You weren’t ready for him to see you for who you really were. 

What you really were. 

Johnny pressed his forehead against yours, sensing the distress bubbling within you. He was tender and loving, even in a moment like this. Something more than you deserved. “Look at me.”

You obliged him. Without hesitation. No one thought it would be possible to tame you, but here you were, willingly submitting to a man. Hell must have frozen over. 

Johnny brushed a hand through your hair gingerly, not wanting to startle you away, like you were some new animal adjusting to a stranger. “I don’t know what you might’ve done and what you might’ve seen, but none of that matters to me. I care about you. That will never change,” he told you in a whisper. 

God, you wanted to believe him. It would have made things easier, being able to confide in him about all of the haunting horrors. You shook your head, overpowering your own tears. “Johnny, you don’t understand. I’ve done unforgivable things.”

Johnny’s voice was saccharine. “Then make me understand. Help me help you.”

“I wish it was that easy,” you mumbled, pulling away. You had to finish packing and relocate right now. 

Your stubbornness was nothing new to Johnny, but that didn’t make it any less inconvenient. That said, he could sense the urgency of whatever predicament you had somehow landed yourself in, and started grabbing his things. He sighed, relenting. “How soon do we need to be in the United States?”

“As soon as possible.”

“I know a guy that knows a guy who has a jet,” Johnny told you, quickly folding something to toss into his suitcase. “He can get us there in half a day, maybe less.”

You paused in your tracks, considering your options. There was this unspoken arrangement about your relationship with Johnny. Your inexplicable connections that conveniently helped you out of each other’s dilemmas. But you never pressed him about it, because you couldn’t afford him asking you questions either. 

Out of curiosity’s sake, you asked, “What’s his name?”

“Jaehyun.”

That name rang no bells, but you would’ve been more alarmed if you even vaguely recognized it. “Okay. Call him, but be quick about it.” The people hunting me waste no time. 

Johnny did as told, swiftly taking his phone out of his pocket and heading into the bathroom to make a call. 

With the last of your things zipped away in your suitcase, you had no choice but to sit there waiting for something to happen, which was not your favorite hobby ever. There were stories, in the underworld, of snipers that could stay awake for days waiting on the perfect opportunity to eliminate their subs. 

Johnny crossed your mind again and you shuddered, worries heightening. You glanced over at the letter. It had been addressed to him, not you, however, that only made you assume your hunters had something worse in store for you. Something darker. 

Though on the other hand, it made you hyper aware of the darkness you had sucked Johnny into solely by associating with him. Your boyfriend was now a liability, exactly as you’d feared, but you refused to leave him to fend for himself. They had made plain that they knew what he was worth to you and you’d be damned if you let him die for the sake of your survival. 

The assassins tracking down your unit like prey weren’t bunglers and there was no doubt that they’d be coming after you next. You had spent months studying the intricacies of the assignment and attempting to comprehend their behavior. Every breakthrough brought you closer to confirming the identity of the leader until it was all suddenly over. 

Someone snitched. You still didn’t know who for certain, but you doubted they were a member of the original seven proxies assigned to the unit. Four of them were dead. There were only three of you left, as far as you knew. 

Thus you did everything in your power to lay low and make yourself even more elusive. You were ever on the move, denying yourself the freedom that came with becoming too comfortable. Then, you met Johnny this year in February, on a mission in Long Beach. He had been a normal guy at some fancy hotel, never meant to be more than one night of drunken fun. So you were pleasantly surprised when one night became eight months. 

And even more so when you subsequently forfeited your career. You hadn’t fully recovered from that life and you doubted you ever would, but Johnny made it easier to live with your unjustifiable mistakes. He saw something in you that no one else did. Not even yourself. 

If only you knew what. 

Johnny emerged from the bathroom, the sound of the door opening drawing your attention to him. “Good news,” he started, heading for the bed. “He’s available. It should be ready for us when we get there.”

“Then let’s not waste any time,” you said, tucking away your gun. 

If Johnny had any more questions, and you knew full well he did, he still didn’t ask. 

Like Johnny had said, the private jet was waiting for the two of you when you arrived and you hurriedly climbed aboard. They knew where you were. Why they hadn’t taken you out when they had the chance was a mystery, but you decided to count your blessings. You were (for now) still alive and that was all that mattered. 

You tried to get some sleep, given that you would be up and flying for a good minute, but to no avail. You usually found plane rides oddly peaceful, but there were a million thoughts in your mind vying for your attention all at once. It was all you could do not to think about your hidden career. 

It had its perks, the coin stained in other people’s blood, and the companionship of a few of the friends you’d met along the way, but most people in the underworld were not exactly affable and there was always a fear in the back of your mind that one day it would be you who died for the gain of another. 

Johnny laced his fingers through yours and you glanced over at him. “Talk to me,” he murmured, sweet as ever.  

You shook your head. You had met many perceptive people in your lifetime, but Johnny took the cake. “I can’t.”

“Of course you can,” Johnny said, reaching for your other hand and also taking it in his. “You can talk to me about anything.”

You glimpsed down at your intertwined hands, then back up at his deep brown eyes. They were too damn discerning. “There’s something about me you don’t know.”

Johnny said nothing, but those words made him raise a brow. He was silently gesturing for you to continue, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. 

God dammit, was he trying to disarm you? Because it was working. You hated how easy it was for him to render you vulnerable. You - the most formidable of proxies this generation had ever known. 

The thought made you laugh, which Johnny obviously wasn’t expecting. You shook your head and explained, “I’m shocked you haven’t left me. Most people would have wanted no parts the second they saw the strap.”

“Can I hold it?”

You burst into laughter again. Like hell. “You want me to give you a loaded weapon? I don’t know what you know. That’s like giving a bomb to a baby.”

Johnny chuckled, but he sobered almost immediately after, loosely draping an arm over your shoulder. “Hey, for the record, it’s gonna take a lot more than a gun to make me wanna leave you. I’m crazy about you,” he confessed, whispering. “And the way I see it, you’re a little crazy all on your own.”

You grinned, appreciating the way he could say something serious and make you giggle in the same minute. “Maybe I am.” 

“By the way,” Johnny began gingerly, as if one wrong move would startle you away. Which wasn’t too far off. “Why didn’t you want me to touch that letter earlier?”

The amusement quickly fell from your lips and the change was not lost on Johnny. The space around you was virtually silent till you willed yourself to murmur, “I think it was laced.”

Johnny blinked in shock. “Laced? Like that Amerithrax shit?”

You shrugged. “Something like that. I don’t think it’s anthrax, but whatever it is, it’s just as deadly. Killed someone I know just from opening it. I got the call about his death this morning.”

“Damn, baby,” Johnny said with a wince, taken aback. “What did he do to deserve that?”

“It’s a long story,” you mumbled under your breath.

It was obvious you didn’t intend on elaborating any further than you already had and Johnny didn’t press, especially became a more jarring thought came. “But the letter was addressed to me,” he pointed out, clearly confused. “Not to you.”

“I know. They don’t want to kill me off immediately, for whatever reason.” 

“That means you’re special, I guess.” 

A chill shot down your spine. You already knew, but him saying it aloud made it true. For some inexplicable reason, they wanted to play the long game with you by watching you suffer. 

“I’m sleepy,” you said. A lie, but a convenient one. You wanted to be alone in your thoughts a little longer. “I think I’ll rest my eyes.”

Johnny chuckled. “For only a few seconds, I’m guessing?”

Your voice was dripping with sarcasm. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Johnny whispered, pressing a quick, sweet kiss to the temple of your forehead. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Night, Johnny,” you murmured.

After a few moments of thinking of the unthinkable future, you eventually tormented yourself to sleep, waking up some hours later with your head on Johnny’s shoulder. You wholeheartedly blamed him. He was holding your hand delicately, caressing the back of it the entire time. Almost like he knew you needed it. 

You weren’t as relieved as you thought you would be when you touched down in the United States. Ironically, you felt less exposed to danger thousands of feet above the ocean than you did on American soil. Johnny was turning you soft. You’d rather be somewhere in his arms. 

The safe house you would be holing up in until further notice was given to you by one of your trusted American contacts. It wasn’t particularly easy to find, which was a nuisance for you today, but something you would undoubtedly be grateful for later on. The place was a far cry from luxurious, but it was low-key, and that was enough to keep you happy. 

“Ah. Feels just like home,” Johnny said with a bucket load of sarcasm.

Dragging your luggage inside, your shoulders shook as you laughed. “I’ve gotta make a call.” Then, you nudged his side gently and quipped, “Be a good boy and don’t talk to any strangers while I’m gone.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Johnny chirped obediently. 

You entered the kitchen. It was small, cramped. Not that you would be doing much eating when you were stressed like this. You grabbed the burner phone you’d picked up on the way and dialed a number from memory, hoping you wouldn’t be too late. 

The phone rang for a while. You almost thought that nobody would answer, for a multitude of reasons, until you finally heard a chary, “Who’s this?”

“Mark.” You sighed in relief. “Thank god. It’s me. Are you holding up okay?”

“So you got that call too, huh?” Mark asked, though it was obvious. You had no other reason to be calling. You didn’t mean to be distant, but it was not often you reached out to your former co-workers. 

But it was still good to hear his voice. With two of your other co-workers gone one week after the other, it was clear they were hunting each of you down one by one. “I got it last night,” you replied, exhaling through your nose. “This morning, technically. Monaco is seven hours ahead of Illinois.”

You could hear movement in the background, like he was actively packing his things with his ear pressed to his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m leaving Canada. I should get over there in a couple of hours. I was actually just about to toss this phone. You have great timing.”

That surprised you. Mark was the opposite of you, feeling safer in one place that felt like home rather than never getting too comfortable anywhere. “You’re not staying in Toronto? You haven’t left in years.”

“They killed my sister,” Mark hissed. You could hear the hurt in his voice, the bite in his tone. He was who you were worried about most. “I know that I’m probably being led into a kill box, but I can’t just stay here. I’ll put a bullet in her killer’s head myself by the time this shit blows over.”

“Mark,” you started, but you knew there was no use. 

Mark said your name sternly. “I already made up my mind. I’m on my way. I should be seeing you and Doyoung later.”

You blew out a breath. “Okay. Get here safe. Please.”

“I will,” he said reassuringly. “Be as careful as you can, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Wait.”

You were just about to hang up when he spoke those words in the nick of time. “Yes?”

Mark’s tone was accustory, “Your boytoy’s with you. Isn’t he?”

You stifled a sigh. There it was, the cons of being buddies with proxies as good at their jobs as you were. “He’s at risk. They sent him the envelope. Not me. They will hurt him to get to me.”

“Maybe,” Mark said, obviously none too convinced by that possibility. “Or maybe it’s a setup. You could be his sub.”

Glancing around the area to make sure Johnny was out of earshot, you whispered, “Mark, I’ve given my life to this field and the sick people infesting it. He’s as normal as they get.”

“Is he?”

“Mark,” you snapped. 

Mark let it die. “Fine. But you better be in one piece next time I see you, or it’s him I’m going after.”

Well, there was no use in arguing with him when he used that tone. It firmly indicated that he meant business. “Don’t worry,” you said softly, glimpsing around again. “Bye, Mark.”

When the call was over, you slipped the burner into your pocket and braced yourself for your next task. You had to make sure this place was secure enough to hold you for the upcoming nights. 

Nine years in the industry had taught you that there was no such thing as being too safe and it was always in your best interest to be virtually untraceable. You double checked every window, making sure they were all locked. You also clocked a number of potential exits and noted all of your options. 

It was borderline impossible to rest knowing that your life was at stake, and you damn sure wouldn’t make yourself an easy kill. If somebody really wanted you dead, they had their work cut out for them. You had spent too much time building up your power to let it be snatched out of your hands without a fight. 

With the house taken care of, you could breathe a little easier in relief. You took out the burner and typed in the number you had memorized. In the city. I’m ready whenever you are. 

Delivered. No matter how much you hated it, you felt like a sitting duck amongst sharp-toothed sharks. 

“Had enough?” Johnny asked, poking his head around the corner. He’d seen you checking out the windows. 

You’d heard his footsteps, knowing he was coming. It might have come off as excessively paranoid, or obsessively so, but you were a listener, and recognizing the distinct sounds of someone’s steps had saved your life. More than once. “Yeah, I think so. Just had to make sure the safe house is really safe.”

Johnny chortled, fully entering the living room now, and walked over to sit beside you. “We’re in the middle of only God knows where. I think we’ll be pretty okay, baby.”

“I sure hope so,” you muttered. 

Johnny cocked his head. “You said there’s something about you that I don’t know, but you never told me what.”

And that was how it would stay. At least for now. The phone call with Mark reminded you of what was at stake and you had to remember that everyone was a suspect. “I didn’t?”

“You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to,” Johnny assured you gently, resting a hand on your back. “But I want you to remember that this is bigger than you. Assuming whoever is after you knows about us, my life is at stake too. Not only yours.”

Something bitter scorched its way down your throat. He wasn’t exactly wrong. It was a conclusion you had already come to, but that didn’t mean you weren’t opposed. The fact that someone had attempted to take him out angered you to no end. “I know that. And I’ll come clean. But not right now.”

Those words brooked no argument, and knowing your tendency to keep things close to your chest, Johnny asked instead, “When do we move out?”

You stretched your arms above your head, hoping to shake the tense feeling within you in spite of knowing it had nothing to do with your muscles. “The minute I get the call. I let my former supervisor know that we landed. He’s not exactly the sociable type, but he’ll let me know when we’re clear.”

“You two must get along great then,” Johnny quipped. 

You rolled your eyes, recognizing his attempts at humor, but softened. “Listen, Johnny. I’m sorry I got you dragged into this mess. I never meant for you to see this part of me, but my past is coming back to bite me in the ass.”

Johnny’s brows knitted together. “Are you an assassin or something?”

“Yes, and that’s all you need to know right now,” you said, crossing your legs on the chair.

Silence prevailed for a brief moment and you were worried you had reasonably startled Johnny, but you were surprised when he said, “Not gonna lie, that’s pretty daunting news, but I don’t give a fuck what you are, baby.”

Those were the last words you expected to come out of his mouth and you couldn’t decide if they were alarmed or comforting. “Are you sure?”

“Whatever you’ve done, I’m sure you had your reasons,” Johnny said, pulling you into his brawny arms. Not afraid of you. “I already told you, there’s nothing in this world that could change how I feel about you. I love you.”

Every muscle in your body went rigid. Although you had been dating for almost a whole year, you and Johnny had never muttered those three words until now. And it had been even longer since you’d heard them. 

Your face was stiff and you didn’t make a move, but somehow Johnny could sense the panic within you. He had always been good at seeing plain through the walls you put up to protect yourself. “You don’t have to say it back, but I wanted you to know.”

That confused you to no end. “You don’t at least want to know if I love you back?”

Johnny sounded amused, which was the last reaction you were expecting. “I already know. It’s in everything you do. If you didn’t love me, you would have wordlessly left me in Monaco to die,” he said, gathering some of your hair in his hands and brushing it out of the way. “But I want you to say it when you’re ready and not a second before.”

You nodded, trying to play off the fact that your heart was beating quicker. How did he always just know? 

Johnny moved his hand to your cheek, his touch featherlight, and continued, “I know something nightmarish is happening and you probably feel like the whole world is out to get you. Do whatever you think is right. Trust your gut and nothing else. Not your supervisor, not your friends. Not even me.”

You stared into Johnny’s eyes when he pulled back. They were deep and brown and hypnotic, pulling you clean under his spell in one fatal swoop. Like you were holding a gun and he was whispering in your ear for you to pull the trigger. 

It was dangerous to love somebody to that extent and you knew it, but you were past the point of no return. Johnny was your one weakness, the only thing that could blind you. Your enemies were smart in targeting him first, but foolish to think you would let them take him away from you so easily. 

With his hand still on your cheek, Johnny flirted, “May I ask you to lower your guard for a few moments while I kiss you, or am I asking for too much?”

“It’s okay,” you replied, rolling your eyes in mock annoyance. “You can kiss me.”

Johnny beamed in excitement. When his lips crashed against yours, you remembered why you were even here with him in the first place. Your body relaxed in his arms, knowing it was safe there, shielded from all the dangers of your twisted world. Johnny knew exactly how to disarm you, lowering all your many defenses. 

His mouth fell downwards onto your throat and you knew what he was doing, but you couldn’t be bothered to stop him. You needed the relief and the place was secure enough. What was a little bonding time between two lovers? 

“Mind if I take this to the bedroom?” Johnny asked, slipping a hand up your blouse. 

You nodded, biting your lip. 

Johnny effortlessly hoisted you into his burly arms and carried you into the bedroom, tossing you onto the bed. You giggled as he crawled over you, threading your fingers through his dark hair to pull his mouth back onto yours. There was no delaying the soft sighs you made as Johnny felt up your body. 

The two of you stayed there like that together for the longest time, your hands falling onto his broad shoulders and his grabbing a handful of your boobs. More often than not, sex was a game of patience. You were both stubborn in your own way, scheming to utterly ravage each other. 

For some reason, Johnny was an expert at both dominating and manipulating your body, and for some even weirder reason, you let him. He always seemed to intuitively know what you needed and how you needed it. No one understood you like that. Johnny was the first human being you had let get close enough to wield that kind of power over you, and it was equally as sexy as it was unnerving. 

You shuddered at the feeling of his big hands as they advanced down your thighs. They were so cold sometimes. Back when you first got together and holding hands gave you the most outrageous butterflies, you used to tease that he was like a snake or something. 

In the heat of your kisses, shirts were thrown and pants were tossed. You gawked at the sight of Johnny’s toned abs even though you had already seen them a thousand times before. He preferred to travel to countries with plenty of sunshine and hot sand. Naturally, you’d seen him shirtless in a year more than you’d seen your mother. 

“Fuck me,” you moaned, simmering with yearning. Your hands wandered down his burly chest.

When they finally reached the navy blue shorts you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why he was still wearing, you grabbed a fistful of Johnny’s half-hard cock, and he tensed with the same thought. Johnny may have prided himself on his extreme willpower and self-control, but you knew a thing or three about ruining men, and you were damn good at it. 

It was obvious you were up to no good. You met Johnny’s stare as you pumped his cock stiff in your hands, watching him falter. He was melting right there between your fingers. If only he was fully naked. You would have been trailing kisses down the base of his cock. 

You smirked when you heard him groan your name under his breath. That long thread of patience was unraveling. There was this battle between the two of you, taking turns sending each other into oblivion. The thing about you and Johnny was that sex started long before any clothes came off. 

Johnny swatted your hand away. Gently, of course. “Okay,” he said in that firm tone that meant he’d had enough. 

You couldn’t resist a satisfied grin. There was nothing like making a masculine man like himself lose control. 

Johnny took the lead, sticking a hand between your legs, which you voluntarily widened for him without having to be told. He liked how submissive you became when in bed with him and chuckled faintly to himself, teasing his hand over the damp spot in your panties, and tempted to toy with you until you soaked through both sides. 

It wasn’t that Johnny was very patient. You had the upper hand in that regard. But what he lacked in patience he made up for in obstinacy, which you both had an ample amount of, and made things all the more exhilarating.

You were sighing softly underneath him, your body gently arching into his touch as you felt yourself burn from the sheer proximity of his body to yours alone, and Johnny appreciated every second. There was a certain pleasure he got out of making you crack. You were tough and composed, something you prided yourself on, but something about breaking you felt like getting a small taste of your inner chaos. 

A glimpse behind the forbidden door. 

“Johnny,” you called out, trying not to sound whiny. 

It didn’t help. Johnny could still read your body language flawlessly. He stifled a smirk, playing dumb. “Hm?”

You scowled at him. Not out of any genuine anger, of course. Though maybe a hint of frustration. You knew he was baiting you to the point of begging, wanting to satiate his ever hungry ego. 

“Don’t you think it would be nice of you to do something?” you asked. 

“I am doing something,” Johnny replied as if he was totally clueless to what you wanted. “I’m touching you, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are. And it’s very generous of you to do that,” you said with a hint of sarcasm. “But maybe you could consider going the extra mile.”

“The extra mile? Oh, you mean, like, this?”

Johnny dipped a hand underneath the waistband of your underwear and your lips parted in a shaky gasp as you braced his shoulders again, instantly squirming. Your legs reflexively closed on him, but Johnny didn’t even blink, merely spreading them wide again with his free hand as he listened for the sweet sound of your pleasure. 

“Am I right on the money?” he asked knowingly, finally letting that sly grin come out to play. 

He was right on something. It may not have been money, but you could feel his thumb on your clit and it was making you shudder. You nodded, your whole body feeling electric. Your toes curled and your hands dropped, balling into fists on the sheets.

You could feel how hard he was as he leaned over you, his body damn near flush against yours, tauntingly close. The very hard bulge in his shorts was all you could feel in your thigh. Johnny ignored it. Which was getting increasingly harder the more he watched you whimper and tense with need, aching to be filled, but he wanted to play a little more. 

Johnny decided to go another mile and slid a pair of long, thick digits inside your heat with no resistance from your body. You sucked him in, wet and ready, and Johnny watched the tension on your face elevate. 

Your entire body was begging you to stop being stubborn and give in to Johnny’s demands if it meant he would do something to cease the endless throbbing in your core, but as good as his fingers felt in you and even better you knew his dick would feel, you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. Though it certainly wasn’t more than what he deserved. 

“You asshole,” you said, torn between your desires. 

Johnny flinched, but smiled at your sudden outburst. “What I do now?”

You pretended to be angry, grumbling, “Making me want you. Fuck. You’re a piece of shit. I hate you.”

Johnny chuckled. He knew you didn’t mean a single word. You just didn’t want to admit that you needed him, even though everything in how your body was responding to his touches said more than enough. “You won’t be saying that when I fuck you,” he replied confidently. 

“And when exactly will that be?”

“When I feel like it.”

You rolled your eyes. He could be so damn annoying. There was only room for one stubborn bitch in this relationship. You pointed out, “You’re hard.”

“So?”

You narrowed your eyes. “So, don’t you feel like it right now?”

“Nope,” Johnny replied with feigned indifference, pushing his fingers in and out of you and watching how you accepted them desperately. The whole thing made him wish it was his cock in you instead. 

You didn’t buy that at all. Johnny wasn’t invincible, no matter how hard he tried. And his horniness was through the roof. “Johnny, fuck me.”

Johnny thought you bossing him around, or at least attempting to, was funny. “Say please.”

“Johnny, fuck me. Please,” you grumbled. 

“Now was that so hard?” he asked, looking relatively pleased. 

You didn’t get the chance to answer, because before you knew it, Johnny withdrew his digits from your sopping hole and stepped out of his shorts. He slipped your panties to the side and lined himself up with your entrance, his eyes on your cunt the entire time as he watched his cock steadily disappear inside. 

Johnny’s hands clamped tightly onto your thighs as he sank deeper, tipping his head back with a moan at the hot, tight sensation of your pussy gushing around his cock. He tried to will himself to go slow, not wanting to overwhelm you with too much, but the way you were throbbing was testing his patience. And his restraint. 

You were out of breath and he had hardly even done anything so far. The size of him never failed to knock the wind of you. It didn’t matter how many times you fucked, or how much he prepared you, Johnny still managed to taunt your limits. 

“Jesus. Fuck,” you exhaled, craving his warmth and wanting to escape him in equal measure. Your hands grappled for something, anything, to ground yourself. When Johnny took you, he took you somewhere far, far away from earth. 

Johnny would have been worried, if not for the fact that you had wound your legs snugly around his waist, forcing him deeper. He smirked. “Can I move, baby?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Move.”

Johnny groaned as he started to push in and out of you, dragging his thick cock through your walls. He never got used to this either. Maybe it was only in his mind, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you got tighter the more he fucked you. Wetter the more he stretched you out. 

No one had ever made you feel this way before. You’d had meaningless sex a dozen times and then some, but this was something much different. There was so much passion seeping from your bodies and it made the ecstasy skyrocket tenfold. So much love, dare you say. 

But the control Johnny had over your body was your favorite part by far. The orgasms brought by his will were the most powerful you’d ever had. They felt like you were releasing a dark part of you that had quietly attached itself to your soul. Johnny was good at showing you that if you let him take the lead, if you let go, he could bring you to elysian heights. 

You thought for certain you were bound for hell, but damn, Johnny made you see heaven. And now that you knew what heaven felt like, you didn’t want to consider any other option. 

Johnny could see it on your face. He always could. In the bedroom, at least. Out there, you could be cold and inscrutable, but when he was bringing you to your peak, there was no part of you that he didn’t see. “Still hate me?” he asked teasingly. 

“No,” you stammered out. You wanted to say you loved him, the words were right there on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Don’t say anything,” Johnny whispered, pressing sweet kisses along your throat and collarbone. “Just take me.”

You relaxed in his arms, succumbing to the building pressure in your core as Johnny took and took from your body, speeding up his steady rhythm. You loved when he did that. Though you knew Johnny valued your pleasure deeply, there was something about when he availed you, of how he bled you dry.

Johnny knew you would let him if he asked. You would let him do anything he wanted if it meant he’d be satisfied in the end. It was his reward for loving you without conditions. You were his beautiful, sick little lion that he’d tamed.

“You’re perfect for me. You know that?” Johnny asked a little breathlessly. “All for me.”

“Oh my god,” you whimpered, grabbing Johnny’s hair and pulling him down to you. His chest was flush against yours and you could feel the sweat of his body mingling with your own and the vicious thud of his heart as he moved. 

You found his lips and kissed him hungrily, too hooked on passion to care about kissing him perfectly. The desperation in your touches only made Johnny want you more. He matched your energy and met his lips to yours with the same amount of fervor, if not crazier. You heard him groan and the sound did everything to turn you on. 

There was no denying his fire for you and you appreciated every single bit. His skin burned, hot and sticky with a glistening sheen of dampness. Johnny was just as insane for and about you as you were over him, his body said so. Though it helped that he wasn’t shy with his words. 

Johnny brought one hand between your legs and the other to your throat that was stained in marks leftover from his kisses. You were already weak and he knew exactly how to make you even weaker. You gasped when you realized what he was doing, looking into his eyes and finding nothing but a darkness that said he wanted to ravage you. It made you tighten. 

You felt something in your stomach tighten when you saw Johnny’s face change, tensing with the wound of pleasure. He mumbled curses under his breath in a voice that made you shudder. You knew then that you weren’t far. He was going to finish you. 

“Johnny, I’m close,” you told him through heavy pants. 

Johnny tightened his grip on you, moving his hand faster over your clit. He chuckled when you moaned. “Yeah, you wanna come? Tell me how bad you need it.”

“God, Johnny. Please,” you begged, knowing he wanted to gauge how much he turned you on, how good he pressed your buttons. “I need to come. I need you. I can’t hold it. You feel too good. Oh my fuck.”

“Then go ahead. Let go for me, baby,” Johnny commanded darkly, watching you expectantly. He knew you were about to fall apart any moment now. 

And you did. Your orgasm took hold of you and slammed you down onto the surface, and you felt the impact in every bone of your body. But rather than a dull ache, it was a heady euphoria. Johnny was there to sweep you into his arms, whispering sweet nothings as he coaxed you through every second like a gentleman.

He tried to act like the way you clamped around him and cursed out his name when you trembled with climax wasn’t getting to him, but Johnny was starting to melt into your heat and he couldn’t help how much getting you off got him off. It was too natural. He looked down at you proudly, taking in the sight of you laying there, trying to collect yourself. 

You tried to take it as he continued to pound you out, trying to make himself come now than he had taken care of you, but it was making your head spin. “Johnny,” you whined. 

Johnny raised a brow, playing innocent. “What? I didn’t say I was done with you. Now did I?” 

You swallowed sharply. This wasn’t the first time he had fucked you through your orgasm and then some, but he was damn good at making it feel like it was. 

“You tapping out on me?” Johnny taunted, knowing it would do the trick. You always had something to prove. 

You shook your head. It was too much for you, but that was exactly the point. You let Johnny decide how much you could handle. He was the one in charge, like it or not. “No. Never.”

“Good,” Johnny chirped, satisfied. “You know what to say if you change your mind.”

You had a safe word, but you remembered using it only once. The word lingered in your mind but didn’t dare escape your lips. You didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him to take you until there was nothing left. And then take some more. 

Your silence was loud as ever and Johnny grinned, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you. He continued to have his way with you, his hands gentle as they wandered your entire body, but his hips slapping against yours with a vengeance as he tried to drive himself over the edge. 

It wouldn’t be long. Johnny wanted to keep fucking you forever, die tangled together limb to limb, but with every hit through your slick walls he felt his grip on his restraint slack. You were breaking him down, piece by piece.

You couldn’t think straight. You could barely even see, your vision hazy with the faint sting of tears in your eyes. Johnny had once told you that there was a thin line between pain and pleasure and now he was taking you there. He delicately kissed your face and chest all over as he overstimulated you, making you teeter. 

“Johnny, come,” you whispered, coaxing him to finish while still playing meek. “I want you to fuck me full. Please. Oh my god.”

Johnny grunted at the thought of fucking you full of his cum and the memory flickering into his brain. He tightened his hold on your body, hands falling to your perfect hips, and moved even faster. You gasped when he sank his teeth into your neck, fiending for you. All of you. 

You took it like you were made to take him. Your soft moans and sweet cries were unraveling Johnny quicker than he would have liked, making his dick twitch inside you, and it was only a matter of seconds until he lost the fight. 

It was insane how much power you wielded over each other. You knew all the right places to touch, all the right words, all the right things to say. There were no limits. Only getting lost in the endless cosmos of each other. 

Johnny closed his eyes as he at last came with a delicious, guttural groan that made you burn with the urge to suck the soul out of him. He kept fucking you until he felt like stopping, his warmth flooding into your wet pussy, and the sensation made you moan. 

When he was finally sated, he collapsed against your chest, smothering you with the weight of him that you loved. You could feel his tired breath on your neck and the heat of his body against yours, and it was oddly comforting. 

Johnny lifted his head from the crook of your neck to peer into your eyes, asking, “You okay?”

You nodded. “I’m good. Thank you for that.”

Johnny chuckled. He could feel the tension leaving your body and he was proud, and more than glad, to be of service. “Pleasure is my business and I aim to satisfy.”

You giggled at his words, wounding your arms around his broad shoulders while you held him close. You knew you would have to get up one way or another, but not right now. This was your time to simply be there for each other. 

And that was what you did, but then you had a mischievous thought and it was all you could do not to snicker as you untangled yourself from Johnny’s arms. He was reluctant to let you go, but relented, watching you with curious eyes. 

You brought your hand down to his now soft cock, toying with him as you tried to get him up again. There was an untamed look in your eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by Johnny.

He tensed immediately when he felt your hands on him. His voice was suspicious. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, sweetheart,” you replied in a tone that was way too innocent to be believable. 

Johnny’s eyes narrowed. “I think you’re doing something.”

You giggled, gently shoving at him. It didn’t work, but Johnny took it as a sign that you wanted him to shift, and so he sat up on the bed. You followed, returning your hand between his legs as you stroked him back rigid. 

“Are you really trying to make me come again?”

You shrugged. That was only half your goal. You wanted to make him lose his mind, and the best way to do that was to give him a nut he would always remember. “Why not? Don’t tell me that’s all you got for me, handsome?”

“I always got more for you,” Johnny flirted without hesitation. 

You smirked, moving from the bed and sinking onto your knees. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Johnny had only just managed to recover his breathing when he felt his breath start to hitch again as you pumped him stiff in your hands, which only took a few moments. You were his vice. Nothing got him hard like you, the thought of you, and the promise of fucking you. 

When he was ready, you took him into your mouth slowly but steadily, inch by inch. You kept your fist around the base of his cock, figuring it would be best to have multiple sensations. Johnny groaned. It was one thing to fist his own cock, but when you were the one doing it, it was like his entire body was in flames. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, tangling his fingers through your hair none too gently. He knew you liked it a little rough, knew you didn’t feel alive without pain. 

Your supple hands moved just fast enough to make Johnny want more and your mouth took just enough of him that you weren’t gagging. He was a really big boy. Though you knew you could fit more, you wanted to draw things out for as long as you could, slowly tasting his shaft with your tongue. 

Johnny gave your cheek a little impatient slap when he started to get annoyed with your teasing. This was the only man you would let touch you like that and get away with it. Mainly because it was hot coming from him and you liked pushing his buttons. 

Ignoring the faint burn of his palm on your cheek, you obliged his silent command, knowing better than to test him. He wouldn’t hesitate to take away all the power you thought you had right now and have you at his mercy. You took more of him into your mouth, head bobbing around his cock.��

“Shit, baby. Like that. Suck me just like that,” Johnny moaned. You loved the breathlessness in his voice, the way he sounded borderline desperate. And you loved knowing that it was only for you even more. 

Johnny watched you suck him off like it was the driving force behind your life, seemingly having your fill of teasing him. He gathered another fistful of your hair, using it to keep you in check. You looked so pretty on your knees for him, kneading his cock with your perfect tongue. 

It was everything you knew it would be, knew he would be unable to resist. You wanted to see him unravel one good time before the night was over, no matter the cost. The bruises forming on your knees and the dull soreness developing in your throat be damned. 

You loved pleasing Johnny. Not only because you got pleasure from having the power to make a dominant man like him lose his shit, though that was a significant part of it. There was a giving side of you that just wanted to see him content as his reward for making you feel safe and comfortable. 

The violent need for control you had stemmed from a lifelong struggle with power. You had been completely helpless before and now you wanted to conquer the unconquerable. There was nothing that would stand between you and what you wanted. After being denied so many times, you became the villain and began to take. 

But Johnny was just as stubborn as you, if not more. He couldn’t be bent into shape and he would never bend to anyone’s will. Though it took you a minute to accept, you liked that about him. He didn’t view you as something to be feared. And he seized control over you without making you feel like something to own. 

There was no way in hell you could repay him for that, but you knew he would settle for a mind-numbing blowjob.

Johnny grumbled curses under his breath as he started to rock into your throat without warning, setting a rhythm of his own. He was close to the edge and he needed to come. You weren’t prepared. You gagged a little bit, eyes burning. But you didn’t complain. 

“I’m gonna come,” Johnny warned, though it was relatively obvious. “Take it all for me, baby. I know you can.”

You allowed Johnny to fuck your throat as he so pleased, desperately trying to handle his aggressive pace and willing yourself not to gag by sheer force. The throbbing between your thighs had returned and you chastised yourself for getting horny over being used. 

Johnny tipped his head back with a moan he couldn’t stifle before looking back down at you again, something sharp and hungry in his stare. You looked up and met his gaze, your eyes misty with unshed tears, and the sight made him bust on the spot. 

His thighs trembled as he released, painting the back of your throat with a load of hot cum you attempted to swallow. He hissed in something like pain but not quite there, his grip tightening on your hair, inadvertently pulling your face flush against his balls. 

It was a sight you would never forget. The way his handsome face tensed perfectly in a dangerous kind of ecstasy, a deep groan of your name escaping his lips. The way he swallowed as he accepted his defeat. It was absolutely beautiful. 

Johnny panted, pulling you off him and wiping a stray tear from your face with his thumb. “You win. This time. Next time I won’t go easy on you.”

Your voice was a little hoarse from the rough fucking it had received as you snickered and replied, “If that was you going easy on me, I’d hate to see you going hard.” 

Johnny smirked. “Please. You love when I go hard.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. 

Johnny ushered you to the bathroom for a shower. Though it was much smaller than you knew he was used to, he didn’t complain. He was mostly focused on taking care of you and worshiping your body after ravaging it. Which was only fair. 

You fell asleep in record time, tangled in his embrace. Nights with Johnny ensured the easiest sleep you had ever gotten. There was something about the arms of a big, strong man like him that easily lured you someplace far away. They were the safest place in the world. 

Morning came and Johnny rose before you did, gingerly slipping from behind you. Watching your face as he climbed out of the bed, he was careful to make sure you didn’t stir. The last thing he wanted was to wake you up when you were blissfully oblivious. He grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand and started out. 

Johnny glanced at you one more time before leaving. You looked so peaceful, curled up into the blankets. He’d noticed that you had this uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere, at any given time. He shook his head and made for the door. Most nights he lay awake. 

Something didn’t feel right. You noticed the empty spot in the small bed and the lack of arms around your body immediately upon rousing. That was weird. Where had Johnny gone? Did he leave in pursuit of coffee? Or did someone get to him while you were sleeping?

You told yourself you were being ridiculous and tossed the blankets off your body, sliding your feet into a pair of slippers. The possibilities were endless, but it was reasonable to assume Johnny was still in the house somewhere. He wouldn’t have gone without a fight. And there was no doubt you would have heard a struggle. 

The sound of his voice coming from the living room made you grind to a halt in the tiny, dark hallway. He sounded like he was speaking on the phone. You tried to make out who he was talking to, but his responses gave nothing away. They were too straightforward. 

Much like how you were trained to answer questions on the phone when the wrong people were privy to your conversations. 

You lingered in the hall, wondering whether you should have approached or not. Something told you not to give yourself away just yet, but something else told you to stop treating Johnny like a sub by spying on him. Fuck’s sake, he was your partner. 

Before you could decide, Johnny hung up the phone and started for the kitchen. You acted like you were casually walking down the hallway and greeted him sweetly. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” Johnny replied, slipping his fingers through yours as he led you into the kitchen with him. “I made coffee.”

“Thanks.”

Johnny added playfully, “For myself. But you’re more than welcome to have some.”

You rolled your eyes. He was only kidding, but you always loved how much energy this guy could have in the morning. You were an early riser because it was built into you. Johnny was just a productive kind of man. 

The kitchen was uncomfortably crowded even with only the two of you inside, so you shifted over to the slightly larger living room while you drank coffee together. Johnny was sitting beside you on the couch with his spare hand instinctively resting on your thigh, tracing circles on your exposed skin. 

Your eyes flickered to his naked back for all of two seconds before you willed yourself to focus on the important bits. “I heard you on the phone earlier,” you mentioned, getting a conversation rolling. 

Johnny seemed totally relaxed, as if he had nothing to hide. “Did you now?” 

“Yeah, I did,” you replied, glancing back down at his hand on your thigh before meeting his eyes. “Who were you talking to?”

Johnny realized by now that you were doubting him in some way, and he was quick to explain, “I was talking to my mom, letting her know that we might have to do a rain check. You and I were supposed to fly out and see her this weekend. Remember?”

That was true. Your last night in Monaco was always meant to be yesterday regardless of how the day’s events played out. “Ah,” you replied, quiet. It would have been your first time meeting his mother. Which meant things were serious. “Well, you’re still close to home.”

“She doesn’t know that,” Johnny said. “She did most of the talking. I was trying to keep her from getting worried without revealing too much information.”

That was a perfectly logical explanation and you believed him wholeheartedly. You made a face, feeling guilty for suspecting someone as harmless as Johnny. Maybe that phone call with Mark the other day was making you even more paranoid than you already were. 

That was the way of life around here, though. Your kind didn’t believe in being innocent until proven guilty. It was the other way around. As much as you wanted to deny it, Mark had a valid point. You needed to hold Johnny to the same standard that you held henchmen. 

But you still felt bad. In your mind, Johnny was probably the last person you needed to be evaluating. “I’m sorry,” you whispered with obvious guilt. 

“Don’t apologize,” Johnny told you, patting your thigh. “You want to be safe. I get it. Like I said, trust your gut.”

You swallowed. That was the problem. You had always trusted your gut, but between her and your heart, you couldn’t tell the difference when you were with Johnny. “There’s an old saying in the underground, uh, my former boss told me. Death that tastes like sugar is poison.”

Johnny cocked his head, staring deeply into your eyes. And maybe your soul. “What’s it mean?”

“That something that seems too good to be true probably is,” you said, your gaze unfaltering as you watched him watch you. 

Johnny took that in stride, chuckling. Draping an arm over you, he asked softly, “How do you sleep at night when you’re always looking over your shoulder?”

“Because I have you next to me,” you quipped.

Johnny laughed. “Good answer.”

Playfully ruining the mood, you added, “And your dick also makes a good lullaby. You wear me out.”

“Better answer,” Johnny replied, leaning in to meet his lips to yours in a gentle, intimate kiss. The feeling of your body made him feel warm all over. 

You kissed him back, hands combing through his hair. And he was sweet as sugar.

You soon forgot all about your suspicions and tried to forget about your worries as well, but it was much harder done than said. Keeping your mind off the madness was like pulling teeth. Johnny wanted to help, but the more he tried to comfort you, the more shame and dread made your stomach ache. 

You were just antsy. Waiting on a phone call or something from Doyoung was leaving you on edge. The silence was suffocating. Any moment you could die and the people hunting you had a solid five different ways to take you out of the picture. For good. 

At the same time, you were thinking of Johnny’s comfort too. You could tell he didn’t exactly love this place. It was a far cry from the luxurious suite in Monaco, but it was something you were accustomed to as a criminal. Your only hope was that it didn’t inconvenience Johnny too much to be here. You knew how he hated confinement. 

You also knew that it was for the best. There was no way you could promise to keep him safe if he wasn’t here beside one of the most lethal proxies to enter the league. Though you couldn’t help but regret coming into his life and bringing your chaos with you. It was selfish. He may have insisted that he wasn't afraid of your darkness, but Johnny had also never seen your monsters. 

Even you were scared of them. That said more than enough. 

With that thought, you considered the only thing you hadn’t done. The one option you had been actively avoiding. Which was telling Johnny the whole truth. You were painfully aware that if you told him the full extent of what you were, you couldn’t just stop there. You would have to tell him everything.

That thought was terrifying. It might have done you some good to confess away the weight on your chest, but you didn’t want anything to change more than it likely already had. You liked things between you and Johnny the way they were without him knowing what all you’d done, but the truth of the matter was that he already knew. He may not have known the details, but there was no doubt he had imagined it. 

Frankly, whatever he was picturing in his head was probably nothing compared to what you had actually gone through. 

With a sigh, you removed yourself from your post in the living room and made your way over to the bedroom where Johnny was. He looked up when he heard you come in and watched you plop down beside him. “Hi,” you greeted, shyer than you had ever been with him.

Johnny held back a chuckle, wondering what that meant. “Hi, beautiful.”

That word stung to an indescribable level, because you felt so ugly at the moment. For what you had done. For what you had seen. And for what you hadn’t said. “I’m coming clean.”

Johnny raised a brow. “Oh?”

You nodded, stuck in the middle of an extremely unfair game of tug of war with your nerves. “Yeah. You deserve to know the truth. And the truth is that I’ve been hiding myself from you for eight months.”

Johnny didn’t say a word, letting you talk. He recognized that look on your face, the one that meant you had something to get off your chest. 

You took a deep breath and explained, “When we first met in that hotel earlier this year, I was in the middle of a mission. A week after we hooked up, I finished it. It was the last one I ever did, because I got so tangled in you that you made me want to be normal again. So I hung up my cap and tried to live a happy life with you.” 

“But then this happened,” he finished for you in typical Johnny fashion. 

“Yeah,” you replied, glancing down at your hands in your lap and chuckling faintly. “Five years ago, I was a part of a unit assigned to eliminate a major sub in the underground. Subject, I mean. That’s what we call our hits.”

Johnny nodded along in understanding. “I’m guessing that didn’t go too well?”

You swallowed, fumbling with your hands. This was your least favorite part of the story. “We got so close. We were at this ball for his drug front. I still don’t know how it happened and how he found out, but two of us died that night. The other five survived by the skin of our teeth.”

“That dude you said opened a poisoned letter,” Johnny started, mentally connecting the dots. “Was he a member of your team?”

You frowned. “He was. There was another girl too, and she was killed the other morning. There’s only three of us now. We’re all being hunted to the last man.”

The room was silent. It didn’t surprise you that Johnny had gone quiet, probably trying to process everything you were telling him, but it did unnerve you a little. 

You had so much more to say. Now that you had gotten started, a part of you didn’t want to stop. You had been carrying these secrets with you since forever. “After we made it out, we had all agreed to lay low and not draw any attention to ourselves. One of my partners went back home to Canada because that’s where he feels safe. But I don’t feel safe anywhere. That’s why I’m always moving. It’s not because I like traveling. It’s because I’m on the run.”

“That’s like running from your shadow,” Johnny whispered, gently putting an arm over your shoulder. He wasn’t in any way malicious, but that comment made you sweat. 

He was right. The shadow of who you were would follow you perpetually. You couldn’t just wipe the slate clean now that it was stained in blood. It was naive of you to think that the past wouldn’t come back to bite you. This life had chosen you, after all. Not the other way around. 

“You are the one place in this world where I feel safe. Where I feel like I don’t have to hide,” you confessed, glancing up to meet his gaze. “But at the same time, that’s why I’ve been hiding from you. I was scared that if you knew what I really am, you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. And I would lose the only reliable thing I have.”

Johnny didn’t say anything about that, gingerly running his hands over you. You already knew that he wasn’t leaving. “What all do you know about this sub you were hunting?”

The better question would have been what you didn’t know. You worked harder than you’d played, and you’d gone through great lengths to uncover the dirty secrets of that syndicate and each of its high-ranking members. The Emperor, their leader. Volcano, the explosionist. Toxic, the poisoner. Bullseye, the sniper. Torch, the arsonist. And Backstabber, the spy. 

You sighed, being forced to confront the part of your life you’d been running from for the past five years. “Frankly, I’ve never seen his face. We just know that he runs one of the most dangerous syndicates in the underground. We got damning info on their ranks, their functions and their operations. It was the most advanced job I ever had.”

“How come?”

“Well, because the core of my job is that I’m more of a killer,” you replied, the words like poison on your own tongue. “When you kill big fish, it’s natural to have to do a lot of digging to establish the best method, but nothing like this. This was months of grueling effort even with a team. And it was my first time with a group.”

You were not used to working on a team and it was more than a little obvious, but the seven of you made it work. Mark could testify to your aloofness. You were good friends now, but you rarely went out of your way to speak to him. It was nothing personal; that was just how you rolled. 

Johnny was taking all of this surprisingly well. He didn’t flinch once when you casually mentioned killing. “Five years is a long wait.”

You shrugged your shoulders. You had held grudges for much longer. And in the underground, people forgot very little. They forgave even less. “When you make an attempt on someone’s life, it’s not,” you told him, a shiver running your own spine. “It’s perfectly calculated revenge. Like I said, our unit buckled down on safety after the mission failed. I’m sure the syndicate wanted to wait until we let our guard down to strike.”

“You said it's a big syndicate,” Johnny reminded, maybe the smallest hint of concern in his voice, as if he was trying not to let it show. “Where do you stand in the line between the powerful and the powerless?”

That was an unexpected question and it made your brows knit together in thought. “Well, I’m not in the game anymore, but I’ve spent a lifetime building up my power and rep. I’ve got influence. I could still have my hand in the business if I wanted, if you know what I mean. And I’m a pretty good damn shot. I’ve never missed.”

Johnny cocked his head. “So you just threw it all away to be with me? And they just let you?” 

“When I last worked, I was a freelance proxy. I didn’t belong to a network and I never will again,” you replied with noticeable disdain. “When you’re as good as me, it gets you power,  but it also gets you a lot of enemies. So obviously there’s a lot of people out there that don’t wanna see me happy. That’s why I lay low.”

Johnny took a good look at you. He knew you were making it sound easier than it was, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. The place he was looking was far deeper. “Why this life? Why not something more normal or less dangerous? Why did you choose to live a life where the only thing you can trust is your gut?”

“I didn’t choose it,” you said, quiet as a mouse. “I didn’t have a chance to be anything different. It was either this, or a slow death. I lived on the streets as a kid and I saw a lot of crazy shit in a short time. I guess it desensitized me. Which made me the perfect candidate for a contract killer.”

“So you were taken in?” Johnny asked. 

“Remember how I said I didn’t wanna be in a network again?”

Johnny nodded his head, seeing where you were going with this, and he frowned at the thought of something happening to you. “Yeah, I noticed that.”

“Well, they took me in when I was twelve,” you told him, less than proud. But you told yourself countless times that you’d only done what you had to do to survive. “Primed me for the job. They said I would make them a lot of money someday. And I did.”

Johnny wasn’t too convinced that this was so simple either. “There’s more to the story. Isn’t there?”

You tensed with something far more explosive than anger and potent than sadness, something that made your eyes blur. You fought it with all your strength, whispering, “I went through a lot of shit, Johnny. But I couldn’t leave. Because they told me they were the only family I would ever have. And they weren’t wrong. But the shit they put me through? I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And I have a lot of those.”

Johnny frowned, but he’d expected as much. He doubted there were a large number of people that had a normal upbringing and yet went on to become contract killers, if any at all. He whispered your name softly. “You didn’t deserve whatever you went through.”

Your eyes were burning. “Then why does it feel like I’ve been punished since the second I was born?”

Hearing you say that broke Johnny’s heart. It was clear to him that you had been through hell and back. More than anything, he wanted to relieve you of all your suffering and kill all the demons he knew you’d faced. The demons he knew you weren’t done facing. “I want you to listen to me carefully,” he said softly, taking your hand in his own. “You are not being punished. I know it’s unfair what happened to you, but you did what anyone would have done to make it. You made a hard choice. You made the strong one.”

“I’m tired of being strong,” you murmured. 

“I know. I know you are,” Johnny replied, letting you rest your head on your shoulder. “But that’s exactly what these people want. They want to break you down and give you a reason not to fight. Don’t let them win.”

You were silent for a long minute, strangely comforted by his words. So many times had you thought of giving up, of letting go. The main reason you were still alive was because you were too cocky to let anyone else kill you and too much of a coward to do it on your own. 

Finally, you glanced up into Johnny’s eyes and asked, “Why aren’t you scared of me?”

Johnny could see the vulnerability in your expression, a part of you he had never seen before, and it made him even more curious about you than he already was. “Because I don’t think you’re a monster.” 

Those words came with an impact. You didn’t know how to feel. There was something about the way Johnny saw you that was so damn precious and too much of a damn lie. 

“Call me crazy, but I don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to scare me away,” he continued, looking at you like you were the most beautiful woman in the world. He wished you could see yourself the way he saw you. 

You swallowed hard. It was hard to believe that you had found someone with such unwavering loyalty to you, without any ulterior motives. You felt bad for doubting him again, but you just couldn’t shake the thought that something wasn’t right. Your insecurities were loud. 

One part of it was that you had always viewed Johnny as the perfect picture of what a normal life should have looked like. What did it mean if he glimpsed into your world and somehow didn’t immediately run the other direction?

Johnny tilted your head up and placed his thumb on your bottom lip, as if he was preparing to lean in for a kiss. You would have let him, but in that very moment, your phone began to ring in your back pocket. 

You startled, pulling away and immediately putting the phone up to your ear. “What’s the move?”

“It’s time,” came Doyoung’s voice from the phone, stern as ever. “You know where to go. Don’t waste any time.”

“Copy that,” you answered, sending a look Johnny’s way to let him know it was time to get going. 

The line went dead and you immediately got to work. Johnny had already started moving, preparing to leave the house and head towards the final destination. “Where are we even going?” he asked in the middle of gathering his things for the second time. 

It was a valid question and Johnny was half expecting a vague answer, so he was surprised when you replied, “Dead Man’s End. It’s an old refuge for assassins, been around since the eighties. It’s kind of like a hitman hotel, if you will.”

Johnny grimaced. “That just sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Are you sure about this?”

You exhaled a deep breath, pausing dead in your tracks. That was a good question for which you didn’t have a proper answer. “No, but it’s our best bet at figuring out what the hell is going on. And besides, the road there is way scarier than the place itself.”

“Whatever that means,” Johnny mumbled. 

His reluctance made you frown. You understood his distaste, but this was entirely out of your hands. Your best bet at survival was by pairing together with the last walking members of your old unit and going over what you knew about this organization. 

As long as you were still breathing, no one was going to hunt you like an animal and get away with it. 

There were a couple hours of travel to make and Johnny was adamant that he would drive, even if he didn’t know the roads. You let him. It wasn’t like you were expecting a coup. When you said the road to the hotel was scarier than the place itself, you’d only meant putting up with all the dread and unease.  

After driving endlessly, you finally pulled in front of a random building in the middle of essentially nowhere. You knew you were at the right place when you noticed how meager the place looked from the exterior. Nothing that would draw unwanted attention. It was the perfect hideout for criminals like yourself with a lot of blood on their hands. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Johnny asked as you both carried your things to the door.

You kept yourself composed. “We’re going to walk in and get a room. Don’t say anything. I’m gonna find my boss.”

Johnny nodded, opening the lobby door and holding it for you as you strolled inside with your suitcase in tow. You thanked him and he followed you straight to the front desk where a woman was sitting there on the phone. She glanced up at you and mouthed, “One moment, please.”

While you waited, you glanced around the lobby, scrutinizing it with the intent to commit the entire layout to memory. There was standard hotel stuff, in spite of this being a getaway for lowlifes. A small lounge area with the television set on some sports channel. An even smaller spot for brewing coffee. There were more things down the hall beside the elevator. 

The lack of other human presence didn’t concern you. Most wouldn’t hang out somewhere as open and vulnerable as the main lobby, and the wise few wouldn’t come out at all. You didn’t look for long. You didn’t need to. It was your job to be able to record a lot of information with little time and effort, and nothing seemed out of place, so far. 

“Alright, sorry about that,” the receptionist said after a few minutes, putting the phone down. She glanced between you and Johnny. “Name and handler?”

You told her your name and gave her Doyoung’s, before gesturing towards Johnny and adding casually, “He’s with me.”

The receptionist glanced up at Johnny and nodded, documenting his name in addition to yours. “I’m going to need you to check in your weapons, please.”

Drawing your weapon from behind you, you signaled towards Johnny again and told her, “He’s not carrying.”

“That’s fine, but I still need you both to check your luggage through that door over there. It’s like the airport, only much simpler.”

The expression on Johnny’s face gave away the fact he clearly found the policy odd, but you both followed instructions and stepped through the security checkpoint one after another, not hearing a single beep. 

But when the receptionist handed over your keycards, instructing you to head to the elevator on the right hand side of the room, Johnny crept close and whispered, “Never heard of criminals checking in their guns.” 

You snickered. “I told you, the road here is scarier than the place itself. With a bunch of murderers in the same room, shit’s bound to get messy if we’re all packing. It’s the only thing that makes this place remotely safe.”

Johnny didn’t seem too convinced about the safety of this refuge. “You don’t need a gun to kill someone.”

“That’s true, but it makes things a lot easier,” you replied, pressing the second floor button. It was perfectly safe; not too close to the bottom floor, yet not too far away from the ground.

Johnny had no argument. 

When you reached the second floor, you both stepped out, scanning the hallway for your room number. The walls were a murky shade of green, the paint chipping off and every decoration (which they barely had) looking as if it was on its last leg. The entire place appeared stale and in violent need of renovation, but something about it was strangely comforting. 

You walked by one door and immediately got a strong whiff of marijuana. “Someone’s getting high as hell,” Johnny quipped. 

“Could be worse,” you murmured. 

The second you were in the room, you locked the door and secured the door chain, making sure no one could creep inside behind you. Then, you swung your luggage onto the bed and dug in your pockets for your phone, sending Doyoung a text to let him know that you had checked in and you were ready to meet. 

“I’m guessing your former boss’ name is Doyoung,” Johnny said, given that was the name you had supplied to the receptionist earlier. “Is he here?”

“No idea,” you replied, brows stitched together. You had been expecting an instant response or phone call. “I thought he would be. I’ll give it twenty minutes before I get suspicious.”

Johnny had noticed a shift in you. You seemed somewhat more comfortable and at ease here than you ever did at the five-star hotels he’d stayed in with you or even the safe house you’d locked yourselves in only some hours before, and he wanted some kind of explanation. He knew you had your reasons for everything, but the idea didn’t make any sense to him whatsoever. 

But he didn’t ask. Instead, he settled on the bed and flirted, “You know what I could do to you in twenty minutes?”

“Absolutely nothing,” you chirped, playing along. “Our foreplay lasts way longer than that.”

Johnny chortled, knowing it was true. A solid half of your foreplay didn’t even involve physical touch. Sometimes he got worked up simply from talking to you and listening to you speak your mind. “We can skip the talking,” he said, loosely grabbing your waist. “That’s my favorite part though.”

“Mine, too,” you agreed. “But frankly, I don’t trust these beds.”

Johnny laughed. Everything about this building made it seem like it hadn’t been touched in decades. “Well, let’s hope we’re not here for long.”

You wouldn’t be. Either you would come to danger, or danger would flock to you in large quantities. No matter what happened, your only hope was that you would be prepared. There was no hiding. 

At first, ten minutes passed. Weird, but no big deal. Then an entire twenty went by and you were still snuggling up on Johnny, having not heard a single chime or ping. That was extremely out of the ordinary and you internally began to fret. 

Retreating from Johnny’s arms ever so begrudgingly, you gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips and said, “I’m gonna go check things out. It’s really weird that he hasn’t called or texted me yet.”

There was a hint of reluctance in Johnny’s eyes, as if he didn’t want to let you go, but there was nothing he could do to keep you still. You were restless. “Be safe,” he told you, appreciating how the faint feeling of your kiss was lingering on his lips. 

“You be safe too,” you replied with worry. It wasn’t like you wanted to leave Johnny alone, but you trusted that he could hold his own. “Keep the door locked at all times. The bolt and the chain.”

Johnny waved you off. “I know, I know. I’m not a kid, baby.”

“I just want to make sure you’re careful. I love you.” The words had already escaped your lips before you realized exactly what you were saying, but you couldn’t take it back. You blinked in surprise. 

Johnny’s eyes widened vaguely, having not expected you to blurt out a confession of your love for him, but he was pleasantly surprised. “I know you do. I love you too.”

You nodded silently, feeling awkward. With one final glance and a pat on his shoulder, you waved goodbye and turned away. 

There was something you had to get to the bottom of. 

You stepped into the hallway. Doyoung was the type of human being you didn’t call unless it was an absolute emergency, as were you, so you had tried to keep your conversations strictly written only, but something about this situation was starting to give you unpleasant vibes. Calling you hours ago to order you here, but not being around himself, didn’t make any sense. 

Not to mention Mark, who you hadn’t heard from since that less than ten-minute phone call you’d had when you landed. You wondered if he had even arrived in the States safely. The most important thing right now was figuring out if he and Doyoung were even still alive.

The thought struck fear into your very soul, but you tried not to let it consume you. There was a reason the lot of you had been assigned together to the same team, and that was because you had the means and the willpower to survive. You wouldn’t be taken down easily and neither would they. They were strong. 

You felt borderline naked without your gun as you sauntered very quietly down the hallway of the second floor, but the knowledge that no one else had their weapons on them either provided you some easy reassurance. Plus you had something that not everyone else did. Your tenacity was your secret weapon. 

With no other viable option, you gave in and dialed Doyoung’s number on the burner phone, hoping he would pick up after a few rings. The call immediately went to voicemail. You furrowed your brows and tried again, but he ultimately still didn’t answer. 

Which made you moderately anxious. 

Maybe he had to get another phone, you told yourself, which still didn’t make enough sense. Doyoung had a remarkable memory. Wouldn’t he still try to contact you?

This was officially beyond weird. This was venturing into the territory of all things dark and dangerous. You promptly dialed Mark’s number instead, hopeful to get a hold of him, but to no avail. Rather than go straight to voicemail like Doyoung’s phone, it went on and on. 

Fuck, he switched phones, you remembered, thrusting yourself back into that phone call you’d had the other day. He had said something about how he was about to toss his phone and how you had good timing. Wherever it was, it wasn’t off or dead, but still of no use to either of you now.

That was the catch. You were meant to be elusive and completely untraceable, but it came to a disadvantage when even the people you needed most couldn’t reach you. 

Having no idea what else to do, you turned around and headed back for your room to regroup, knowing you needed to mull over your next steps and the middle of a hallway was no place to do something like that. On the way, you paid close attention to the windows and any potential blind spots. 

Upon unlocking the door, you were surprised it opened immediately without any need for asking Johnny to unhook the chain. Fuck’s sake, didn’t you tell him to lock it behind you?

“Johnny,” you called out in annoyance, shutting and bolting the door behind yourself as you walked inside. You had been expecting to find him pacing around somewhere or gazing out the window, but you didn’t see his tall body anywhere in the tiny room. 

You narrowed your eyes and checked the bathroom, but it was entirely clear too. Johnny wasn’t here. Matter of fact, the only thing that indicated he was ever even here was his bag on the single bed.

Something like panic filled your chest and made your stomach tighten. Your brain immediately went to the worst case scenario. Did someone get to him in the five seconds you had turned your back? How in the hell did he sneak out of the hallway without you noticing?

You shook your head, willing yourself to calm down. Maybe he just went downstairs to get coffee or something. You knew he needed coffee like an addict needed crack. He would drink it at any given hour. 

Solely to be safe, you quickly called his burner number, having saved it in case of situations like this. You were disappointed when it rang and rang with no answer, wondering what in the hell was happening. It had to be on his person. You would have heard it otherwise.

You groaned and stepped back into the green corridor, confused as all hell. Your very first thought was the elevator. The only reasonable idea you could conceivably imagine in the midst of all this bewilderment was to return to the main floor and see if the receptionist could clue you in on any significant information. 

It felt like you had been standing in front of the elevator for ages before it finally drew back its doors with a chime and allowed you to enter. You pressed the lobby button and waited patiently for it to descend down to the main floor.

The trip took a long minute. Though it was only two floors down, the elevator didn’t seem to be in the same rush you were in, which was more than a little frustrating. Every second you went without answers was another second you couldn’t bring yourself to relax. 

You breathed in a short-lived relief as the doors opened again and you walked onto the main floor, straight for the lobby. The sight in front of you only made you blink. 

The receptionist was very dead, slumped forward onto the front desk. You could see the wound that had done her in, one shot to the back of her neck. The exact same way Doyoung said Margo had been killed. The exact same pattern you had studied in that unit so many years back. 

You shuddered. They were here. Your initial instinct was to charge into the inventory behind the front desk where the receptionist had checked in all of the weapons, but the shock on your face when you realized the entire inventory had been cleared out was priceless. 

“Well, I’ll be damned,” you said aloud in total disbelief. Not only did that mean that you were unarmed, but at least one person here had access to several different weapons.

And you had no idea where Johnny was, or literally anybody else for that matter. 

Paranoid as ever, you frantically called Johnny’s number again, mumbling under your breath for him to pick up the damn phone. Your blood was pumping belligerently in your veins and you were seconds away from losing your ability to think altogether. 

A noise echoed from behind you, making you snap around. You heard a ringing sound from the lounge area of the lobby, but no one was there. You did notice, however, the familiar phone on one of the coffee tables. 

Johnny’s phone was here. Which meant that at some point, he had been here as well. And he possibly knew what had happened with the receptionist. 

Your brain was starting to hurt, spiraling with all the different possibilities of what had happened and what was to come. There was only one thing you knew for certain, and that was that your trust in Johnny was steadily beginning to wane. There was no longer a strong faith in his seemingly normal, picture perfect life. With every second that passed without knowing where he was, it dwindled more and more. 

An idea popped into your head and you stepped around the desk, skillfully maneuvering around the dead body to briefly scan today’s log for any relevant information. You didn’t know why you hadn’t thought of it sooner. If any of your colleagues had checked in, their names would be on the paper.

You grinned triumphantly when you saw two familiar names, Mark and Doyoung. They had both checked in this morning, hours apart, with Doyoung logically getting here first and Mark some time afterwards. So they were here. The only thing that didn’t make sense was why you hadn’t heard a peep from either of them since your last exchanges over the phone. 

At the very least, you knew you had to keep moving. You were a walking target the longer you stayed in place. There had to be a way to figure out where they were without risking your life in the process. It may have felt like it, but you weren’t the only one in the building.

Making a beeline for the elevator, you tried to create some semblance of a plan. Given the other one was out of order, it was the only functioning elevator connecting the four total floors, which made it a dangerous spot for anyone trying to travel. And seemingly so far, no one else had been brave enough. 

That, or they took the stairs. Either way, you had to be cautious. You saw the way the receptionist had been killed - quick, efficient, and more importantly, quiet. Gone within a blink. There were people here who wanted you dead, likely staking out every available exit, and you had to be both stronger and smarter than them if you wanted a shot at survival. 

The very second you were back in the room, you chained the door shut behind yourself. It felt like you were walking in circles. Your body was hyper aware of the danger it was involved in, burning with the urge to pace around, but you didn’t want to make excessive noise or draw any unwanted attention to yourself with movement. 

You did, however, approach the closet in search of something that could be used as a makeshift weapon, knowing that you inevitably would have to go back out. You stilled when one of the floorboards creaked beneath your weight. At first, it was out of fear of making too much noise. Then, you realized there was something unusual about the panel. 

It was loose, as if it had been removed and then placed back improperly. With your experience in the industry, you knew it was very common for proxies to leave tools in place for their allies to use. You weren’t at all surprised to find something like this in the hotel. 

Getting down on your knees, you scanned the room for something to facilitate pulling up the panel, grabbing the closest object of assistance and digging up whatever the hell was clearly underneath the wooden plank.

It was a gun. 

You beamed, victorious. Upon checking the chamber, you found it was fully loaded. Meaning you had all the ammunition in the world in comparison to most people here, assuming those stolen guns in the inventory had fallen into the hands of one person and not many. 

Well, that changed things. For one, you no longer had to confine yourself to this room for half of eternity. You would obviously still need to be extremely cautious, but now you had a means of defending yourself. And for two, it would be easier to find your former teammates, and get rid of anyone who stood in your way. 

With a sigh, you nodded to yourself, standing up. You tried to think of a tentative plan. For starters, you had to find Doyoung. He would have answers, he always did. And where in the hell had Johnny run off to? 

Back in the hallway, it didn’t take long for you to get your answer. 

Johnny was by the elevator, stained in blood.

You rooted in place as if you had crossed paths with a wild bear. For a second, you couldn’t even feel yourself breathe. Your heart all but stopped. And when Johnny finally turned and saw you, standing there in total shock, the emotion on his face was completely unreadable. 

There was a dry lump in your throat that you tried to dampen by swallowing. Who’s fucking blood was that? 

Then, it hit you. 

“Did you kill the receptionist?” you asked, blurting out the question the moment it entered your mind. 

Johnny had the audacity to blink in surprise, as if he had no idea what you were talking about. Which you didn’t believe for a second. “No, of course not.”

“I don’t believe you,” you snapped. “You disappeared when I told you to stay inside. I called your phone. You weren’t in the lobby, but it was. Don’t expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with this.”

In an attempt to be consoling, Johnny reached out to hold you like he had always done when he tried to reassure you calmly, gingerly calling out your name before responding, “Baby, I know what it looks like, but…”

You instinctively whipped out the gun you had found, pointing it at him in a heartbeat as you stepped away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” you warned, threatening. Your true colors were showing. The side of you that you never let him see. “I swear to God, I will shoot you.”

Johnny backed up, putting his hands up in innocence, as if he had nothing wrong. He looked surprised, likely not expecting you to be armed, whereas it didn’t seem like he was packing. Right now. “It looks like my cat’s out of the bag. I might as well come clean.”

Your heart was trembling, but your mind was trying to cling onto some leftover strength. She wasn’t a quitter. “You knew. You knew ever since we got that laced letter.”

“There was no laced letter,” Johnny replied, indifferent. 

Your eyes narrowed. “And how would you know that?”

“Because I’m the one that sent it to us.”

You didn’t think it was possible for you to go any more still than you already had, but now you were as rigid as a corpse, standing there in a kind of disbelief stronger than the agony of a bullet tearing through flesh. “Who are you?” you asked stiffly. 

Johnny smirked, as if he was proud of himself for having deceived you all this time. “Take a wild guess.”

“You’re his gun,” you said, hands trembling as you grasped the weapon in your hands. All this time, your kryptonite had been hiding in plain sight. You had shown affection to the enemy, held him, made love to him. Slept beside him at night with all the trust your wounded self could muster.  

“I consider myself his poison,” Johnny retorted. 

You gawked. The gears were turning in your head, the gears that should have turned a long time ago, but you were too love blind to see it. “Your function,” you gasped. “You’re the poisoner. You’re Toxic.”

“Ding. Ding. Ding. I was wondering how long it would take you to figure me out. They said you were the best of the best, you know. I guess that was before I got to you,” Johnny replied, grinning from ear to ear. He sighed, content. Then, he patted himself on the back, and quipped, “Good going, Johnny.”

“Is this a fucking joke to you?” you asked viciously, clearly having none of it.

“Maybe just a little bit, yeah,” Johnny admitted, chuckling faintly. “I mean, you have to admit I got you good. Rich American guy who loves traveling but never talks in detail about his job. I mean, I thought it would be too convenient, but you never asked any questions.”

Because I didn’t want you asking any questions about mine, you thought, but the words wouldn’t come. You were too stunned to speak. He had you completely fooled.

“You’re a bastard,” you sneered. 

Rather than be offended, Johnny laughed in amusement. “How are we any different? You had your secrets too.”

“I told you what I was when shit hit the fan,” you replied, although you knew it would be impossible to justify your half of it. You were just so sick of who you used to be and you didn’t want to risk losing what you had now. 

“Yeah, after shit hit the fan,” Johnny said, making a valid point. “Do you know how easy it would have been for me to take your life? God knows I’ve had ample opportunity. And yet you’re still here. Do you wanna know why?”

“Because you want to savor this to the last breath,” you replied, guarded. 

“Because I’m in love with you. Tragically. Fatally. Dangerously.”

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t want to believe him, to crawl into his bloody arms and let him hold you as if you meant something to him. But now you knew what he was. He was exactly like you, if not worse. And you were no stranger to telling a fib if the job required it. 

“Sometimes love isn’t enough,” you argued, willing yourself to be strong. “Where’s Doyoung?”

Johnny wanted to touch you. Where words had failed, he knew his body could win you over, but something told him it wasn’t the best call to make right now. He sobered. “I have no idea, but you need to stay away from him. He’s not what you think he is.”

Your skepticism only heightened. “What do you know about him?”

Johnny was holding back, his hands still above his head. There was obviously something he wasn’t telling you. “He’s dangerous. This whole trip is a scheme to kill you and your friends. He wanted to pry you out of hiding.”

“But you went along with it without saying a thing,” you reminded, doubtful. “How is that any better?”

Johnny sighed. “I had to. It’s the only way.”

“The only way to do what?”

“To get rid of him.”

“Get rid of him for what?”

“He’s the Emperor, baby.”

You shook your head in denial. For one, that didn’t make any sense. Doyoung was the same person you had spent years of your life hunting? Impossible. You saw the grief on his face that night your other teammates had been killed like lambs to the slaughter. 

The idea that he was another evil, however, did explain his absence now that you were finally in the kill zone. You still weren’t entirely adamant on trusting Johnny though. Fuck’s sake, he was covered in blood right now. And you didn’t want to know why. 

“You’re lying,” you sneered, pressing the button to summon the elevator. You couldn’t look at him, couldn’t stand next to him. It was too goddamn overwhelming. 

“I can see why you think that,” Johnny replied softly, having suddenly turned serious. Like he was trying to prove his innocence somehow, even if he was stained in the evidence of what he truly was. “But I promise I’m not.”

You scoffed. If only life was so simple, where promises were inherently something of substance. “Your word means nothing to me right now. You’re a killer,” you said, tightening your grip on the firearm in your hand. 

“I’ve been a killer long before we met. So have you,” Johnny reminded, his voice becoming slightly sharper. “And you know what? I’ve never lied to you. I’ve just kept you away from the whole truth.”

You raised your voice, asking, “How do I know that?”

That tone was something Johnny had never heard from you before, and in a way nothing else ever had, it startled him; it showed him how close he was to losing you. “Don’t you trust me?”

You didn’t even grant that a response. You felt completely and utterly betrayed, even if a part of you didn’t think you had any right to be. It felt like a direct affront to your character that he even asked you something like that. You had trusted him, and look what that had gotten you. Where it had gotten you.

“I’m going to leave this floor,” you replied, gesturing towards the elevator. “And you’re going to make yourself useful, or die trying.”

Johnny looked at you, more so the gun in your hands, eyes flickering in surprise. “You’re leaving? What? No. You can’t do that.”

“Watch me,” you whispered, stepping backwards into the elevator. The whole time, your eyes were trained on Johnny and so was your weapon, making it abundantly clear that you were armed, capable, and very, very dangerous. 

Death didn’t discriminate, after all. Why should you? 

Not daring to move as much as an inch, Johnny watched the elevator door close, stealing you away from him and carrying you to God knows where. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, heart thudding violently. 

Once in the elevator, you relaxed, but even that was short-lived. You jolted when your phone began to ring and you were shocked when you read the number, recognizing it immediately. You put the phone to your ear and answered, “Jesus, Doyoung. Where the hell are you?”

In typical Doyoung fashion, he didn’t waste any time on explanations, whispering, “Listen to me. Johnny’s lost it. I watched him shoot the receptionist with my own eyes.”

Your brows furrowed. You had mentioned Johnny to Doyoung before, but only vaguely. Not once did you ever reveal his identity. “How do you know his name?”

“How do you think?” Doyoung asked, suggesting it was obvious. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you. I had to make sure you were safe, that you weren’t falling into the same trap as the others.”

“And what did you conclude?”

With seemingly no intention to be very forward for once in his life, Doyoung continued, “I was suspicious. His record was squeaky clean, too clean, so I kept digging. I didn’t find a damn thing, but I knew I was right to be suspicious when I saw him shoot the receptionist with no mercy.”

You shook your head, thinking it over. Missing inventory aside, whoever killed the receptionist had to have access to a gun, but they had all been checked in upon entrance. And you knew Johnny wasn’t carrying one, because the machine would have dinged if he was. 

Though that didn’t mean there weren’t any other weapons in the building whatsoever. You were sure there was some way to sneak them inside and plant them for others to get a hold of. Hell, that was the only reason you had one now. 

To say nothing of the fact that he was literally stained in blood. That was the entire reason you had suspected him in the first place. The only problem was that now that you thought about it, he couldn’t have been armed. You saw the look on his face when you left and it couldn’t just have been because he didn’t want you to go. 

It was because you had something valuable. 

Another conflicting part of the story was that Doyoung talked about Johnny as if they had never met before, but Johnny himself had told you he was the Emperor. Which, if true, meant Doyoung was his boss. So, one of them was lying. 

Stepping out of the elevator onto the bottom floor, you stealthily paced the corridors with the gun in your clasp and the phone to your ear, whispering, “Why didn’t you call me earlier?”

“I meant to, I really did, but after I checked in, all this crazy stuff started happening, and…,” Doyoung trailed off, confusing you. Until he added, “You have a gun?”

That voice didn’t only come from your phone; it came from behind. You whipped around in a blink, noticing Doyoung standing a few feet away, eyes widened in surprise. 

You hung up. You hadn’t seen Doyoung in person in years. He hardly looked any different. He still had deep, dark hair and that stern, chiseled face. And he still had this commanding aura to him that had made him so efficient as your leader. 

But you weren’t so confident about him anymore. Not after the interaction you’d just had. Johnny had planted doubts in your mind, even if you didn’t trust him either. You figured it was in your best interest to assume everyone was dangerous and a threat until proven otherwise. 

“I found it in one of the rooms,” you replied casually, but you stiffened as he stepped closer to you. “Why?”

Doyoung looked more alarmed than you had seen him since that godawful night so long ago. He whispered, “You need to give it to me. I think Johnny’s the Emperor.”

“What?”

“Why else would he kill the receptionist?” Doyoung asked, frantic. “I know you like him, maybe you love him, but this is important. We have to kill him before he kills us.”

You heard heavy footsteps coming from the staircase at the end of the hallway and drew your gun in preparation, but you were surprised to see that it was Johnny. And he looked equally as stunned to see you standing there next to Doyoung.

“Stay away from her, Johnny,” Doyoung spoke up, getting the first word in. He stood in front of you, as if he was defending you. 

“Whatever he’s been telling you, he’s lying,” Johnny told you hurriedly, panting for breath. “You can’t trust him. I told you, he’s the Emperor.”

Doyoung looked offended. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re the Emperor. You planned all of this to isolate us and get us alone, didn’t you?”

Johnny raised his voice, insisting, “Don’t listen to him, he’s lying. I told you who I am. Think about it, baby. Why would he bring you here and make it easier for you to die?”

Doyoung matched his energy and snapped, “I brought us here so we can decide collectively on a course of action. We’re stronger together than we are alone.”

Ignoring him, Johnny focused on you entirely and reasoned, “You’re more vulnerable together and you know it. You said it yourself that you’re being hunted down to the last man. Why go out of the way to assassinate you when he could just lead you into a death trap?”

“That’s not true,” Doyoung hissed. 

Johnny called out your name, shifting around Doyoung to make eye contact with you. He could see how your trembling hands clasped the weapon like it was your only lifeline. “Please. I’d never hurt you, you have to trust me on that. Give me the gun.”

Rolling his eyes, Doyoung said, “Come on. You’ve known me for years. Give me the gun and we can walk out of here and go home.” 

Something inside you burned furiously. You didn’t have a home. You’d considered home to be wherever Johnny was, but even that had fallen through. And you knew that if you walked out of here without him, you would have nothing left except the shadow of what you used to be. You had nothing left to lose. 

When you told Johnny that you were on the run, he had said, That’s like running from your shadow. And now more than ever, you realized he was right. You couldn’t keep doing this to yourself anymore. You needed to end the fight once and for all so that you could finally know peace instead of transience. 

“Enough!” you screamed, pointing the gun back and forth between both men. They startled, your raising voice making them still. “You can both go to hell.”

With that, you took off, sprinting up the stairs and hoping to lose them before they could even attempt to catch up with you. That was one of the many, many pitfalls of being a woman in a male-dominated world. You had to compensate somehow, and what you lacked in strength, you made up for in speed and wit. 

You just hoped it would be enough to save you. 

There were footsteps behind you. You couldn’t see them when you turned, but you never stopped moving. The only thing you knew was that you had to think of a way to get out of here, but going outside was far too risky. You didn’t know what was waiting for you out there nor were you even remotely curious. 

You cut down to the other staircase on the right hand side of the hallway, hoping to outsmart them. There were only a handful of floors, but there had to be some way to buy yourself more time to think. They wouldn’t expect you to go back down, would they?

When you made it safely to the bottom floor, you checked both ways like a child crossing the street before circling back to the main lobby. It was strangely empty. You wondered if anyone was here other than the three of you. Mark crossed your mind and a palpable fear began pumping through your veins. 

He had signed in. You knew that much. Walking down the corridor you had clocked upon entrance, you made a beeline for the bar, knowing no one would expect to find you there of all locations. But to be safe, you locked the door and released a shaky sigh. 

Your head was spinning. Your mind was scattered. Someone had emptied out the inventory, but neither Johnny nor Doyoung clearly had weapons of any kind. So who in the hell stole all the guns?

A sudden sound jolted you out of your mental headache. Your first thought was the door you’d locked, but no one was there. Then, you heard it again. It was a thud, coming from behind the door, as if there was something behind it that couldn’t get free. Like a trapped bird throwing itself against its cage. 

Your heart was thumping in your chest as you approached the storage room, wielding your weapon. You heard the thud again; it sounded like a kick, followed by muffled noises. There was someone back there. You felt a sudden chill sweep over your shoulders. 

Taking a deep breath, you counted to three under your breath before you yanked at the knob, throwing the door open. 

Mark fell over, having been leaning on the door, and dropped to his side.

“Mark,” you gasped, recognizing him in a heartbeat. He was familiar to you, even in this disheveled state. 

He said something, eyes wide as he glanced at you, but you couldn’t make it out. There was tape over his mouth. 

You sat him up, crouching down onto your knees. After you had gotten him upright, you looked into his eyes and warned, “This is gonna hurt like a bitch. I’m sorry.”

With no further warning, you ripped the tape straight off in one clean jerk. 

Mark recoiled in pain. “Goddamn!”

You winced, as if you were the one hurting. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mark replied, exhaling a breath of relief. He looked like he was simply happy that you had found him and he didn’t die in that storage room, which you understood. You could finally relax knowing he was physically okay. 

As you cautiously undid the tape binding his arms and legs, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort than necessary, you asked, “Who the hell did this to you?”

Mark shrugged. He looked like he had been through hell and back without taking absolutely any detours. His skin was damp with sweat you could feel through his clothes. There was a faint patch of blood on his skin and you assumed he’d been attacked. “I don’t know.”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“They came up from behind me while I was walking in the hallway,” Mark explained, stretching his limbs now that they were free. “I never saw their face. And when I came to, I was tied up in the closet.”

That only confused you even more. Obviously, there was something they didn’t want Mark to interfere with, but a bullet to the head seemed like a much more practical solution than tying him up and hiding his body. “Well, they didn’t kill you,” you pointed out. 

Mark nodded, sighing. “Yeah, but why?”

You sighed too. Like hell you knew. You had been expecting more bodies, more casualties. There no was no doubt you were grateful Mark wasn’t dead, but it still threw you off. “You were right.”

“Of course, I was,” Mark chirped, even though he had know idea what you were going on about. “So, what was I right about?”

“Johnny,” you told him quietly, almost like you were ashamed. Maybe you were. “He’s not what I thought he was. He’s one of us. And I was his sub.”

Mark gawked. A part of him had seen it like that coming, but it wasn’t like he had happily anticipated it. “Damn. I’m sorry.”

You tangled your hand through your hair, because now you were thinking about it and it was breaking your heart all over again. You had fallen six feet under for his deceit. The man you loved and thought you knew was just another proxy that had been contracted to take you out. Only this time, he had actually gotten close. 

“It gets worse,” you replied, forcing yourself to remember everything that had gone down in the past hour. “He claims to be Toxic. And he says that Doyoung is the Emperor.”

The first part seemed to surprise Mark more than the second and his brows knitted. “Wait, they sent Toxic after you instead of Backstabber? Why? I thought his function was just to poison people and leave. You guys have been together for months.”

“Why would he lie?”

Mark shrugged. “Maybe he’s the Emperor.”

You could literally feel your bones chilling. That was what Doyoung had said, and now Mark seemed to believe it too. You didn’t know what to think. “Johnny says Doyoung is the Emperor, but Doyoung says it’s Johnny. I don’t know who to trust.”

Marked mulled it over. There was a lot of catching up to do, all things considered. He shook his head, frowning. “What is your gut telling you?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. You couldn’t even trust your instincts anymore, even after relying on them your whole life. Johnny had told you to trust your gut and kick everything else to the curb. But how could you when you didn’t know what it was trying to say?

You had learned to bridle it, but it never completely stopped. It became a whisper instead of a scream. And now there was a dull echo. 

“Come on,” Mark encouraged, grasping your shoulders. “Think. Forget everything you feel right now just for a second and think. You were in a unit with Doyoung for a year and you’ve spent the past however many months practically glued to Johnny’s hip. What did they say? How did they say it?”

You blinked. “Mark, I can’t.”

Mark shook his head. “Yes, you can. I know you want to move on from this life, but you never will if we can’t make it out of there. We need the clever assassin. Let her come out one last time and then kill her.”

You sucked in a breath, willing yourself to get back in shape. The clever assassin. The lethal proxy. The woman you thought was dead and buried. Now more than ever, you needed her back. One last time. “Someone shot the front desk lady. Uh, close range like Margo. Johnny was covered in blood. I thought it was him at first. Doyoung said he saw him shoot her with no mercy.”

“You said at first,” Mark pointed out. “Do you not think so anymore?”

You were reluctant for a minute, but you finally said, “They don’t have guns. They were both trying to convince me to give them mine, but I told them to fuck off.”

Mark was surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Someone took all of the guns from the inventory, but I don’t know where they are, and they both looked desperate for a weapon. Which means someone else is here too. But Johnny couldn’t have shot the receptionist if he didn’t have the means.”

“So, Doyoung lied,” Mark concluded. 

You shrugged. It seemed like the whole room was reeling at this point. “I guess so.”

Mark mumbled something under his breath, likely in shock as he processed the new information. “Then, the only question left is what are they so scared of?”

“Or who,” you replied quietly. 

Mark stood up. The solution seemed obvious to him. “We gotta go.”

Your eyes followed him. “And do what? We need a plan if we’re going to go out in the open.”

Mark shook his head. “Are you serious? Doyoung is guilty as all hell. And that means he probably killed my sister. You have a gun. Let’s go put a bullet in his head and get the hell out of this dump.”

“Wait, Mark,” you replied, standing up and grabbing his arm. “Let’s just think about this for a little longer.”

“What’s left to think about?” Mark asked grimly. 

“Let’s say Johnny is telling the truth. He’s Toxic and Doyoung is the Emperor,” you started, lowering your reach to his hands. “That means they’re trying to kill each other even though they work together. Why?”

Mark shrugged his shoulders again. “No idea. What did Johnny tell you?”

You thought about that interaction you’d had with Johnny on the second floor, where he’d confessed to being complicit in the nightmare you were currently living. “He said that this trip was the only way to kill Doyoung, but I don’t get why he would want to kill his boss.”

“I do,” Mark replied. “Think about it. You’re Johnny’s sub. The cold case excluded, when has it ever taken you months to kill someone?”

Your lips were in a line. You didn’t want to entertain the idea that Johnny genuinely cared about you, because you didn’t want to be wrong. But he said it himself he had ample opportunity to leave you for dead. He never did. 

“Never.”

“Exactly,” Mark said. “He’s obviously stalling. If Doyoung is his direct boss and he’s been assigned to help pick us all off for being in that unit, he’s not gonna wanna go through with killing you, especially if he really loves you.”

You chewed that over. There was something about your affection for Johnny that triggered your fight or flight instincts in a way you’d never experienced before. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and it was suffocating. 

“It’s your call,” Mark told you, patting you on the shoulder. “We can always kill them both if that makes you happier.”

You laughed for the first time in a long time, but you knew that wasn’t what you wanted. You were just so scared. Fear was one of the most natural human emotions and yet you were so ashamed to be afraid. It made you feel out of control. “No,” you replied, shaking your head. “I think I know what I need to do.”

“Then, let’s go,” Mark said, waving you forward with his hand.

With one final breath, you nodded and silently followed Mark out of the bar through the double doors. You hoped you were making the right decision. This was beyond life or death. You weren’t afraid to die. You were afraid of dying alone. 

When in the hallway, there was a light in one of the rooms on the right side. You and Mark exchanged glances, noticing that the door was ajar. It looked like a laundry room, likely connecting to a sauna or pool. There were a bunch of white towels stacked on top of each other from what you could see.

“You go ahead. I’m gonna check this out,” Mark told you, distracted.

You narrowed your eyes. Did he seriously think you were going to leave him alone? He’d just barely survived being thrown into a closet to rot like an animal. “Mark, no. You don’t have a weapon. Come on, it’s just a closet.”

As if he didn’t hear a word you said, Mark walked off. “Five minutes.”

You shook your head in disbelief, but there was no opportunity to argue, because he had already disappeared. 

“Unbelievable,” you mumbled under your breath, disgruntled. That boy had a death wish. You were practically certain of it now. What had he seen that made him want to investigate instead of minding his own business? A ghost?

The more you walked into the lobby, the less confident you were beginning to feel. You couldn’t afford to be wrong. Even if you weren’t afraid of death, there were more lives at stake than just your own. You had Mark to take care of, even if he was perfectly capable of defending himself, and you had honor. 

It was everything in your world. You may not have been on a team anymore, but if there was anything the league did teach you other than how to be a lethal, unstoppable bullet no one would ever see coming, it was that you didn’t leave your family to die. And it was a principle you still followed despite your reproach for the network. 

With how you had grown up, taken under the wing of a hawk to become an even deadlier hawk, you knew there was no one you could really trust. Hardly even yourself. 

But you also knew that living life with no one really, truly by your side was lonely. 

You didn’t even need to look for Johnny. He was creeping down the hallway with quick, soundless steps, totally not looking suspicious. When his eyes locked on you, he went rigidly still. 

“Johnny,” you called out faintly. 

Johnny put his index finger up to his lip, shushing you, and approached you ever so slightly. With the gun in your grip and your evident distrust of him, he wasn’t taking any chances. His voice was light as a feather as he said your name. “I know I had you under the impression that I was some oasis away from this world and I apologize. I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.”

The sudden apology had you taken aback, even though you tried to stay on guard. It was hard when you were around Johnny. Your body was so used to being at ease when you were with him, not registering him as a threat. “You never hurt me.”

“I never hurt you,” Johnny repeated, knowing what you’d meant by that. He had never physically caused you any pain - not more than you’d bargained for, at least. “And I hope you can believe me when I say that I never plan to. If nothing else is, my feelings for you are real. The thought of hurting you alone makes me angry.”

You silently took his words in. They sounded so genuine, so affectionate. You were good at recognizing lies when you heard them, but it was clear by now that you were a little weak in that regard when you were blinded by emotion. Your judgment was clouded. 

Johnny glanced over his shoulder and continued, “That’s why I have to do this. That’s why I have to kill Doyoung. He knows that I won’t go through with the order and he won’t rest until one of us is dead.”

“That’s why you want the gun,” you replied, realizing Mark had been right. Johnny cared about you too much to let you die. 

Johnny looked over his shoulder again, like he was being watched. Or followed. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was trying to stay clear of his boss. “Give me the gun and I can end this. We can meet my mom. We can go any place in the goddamn world. We can settle down if that’s what you want.”

Footsteps echoed in the halls. They weren’t coming from behind you, so you knew it wasn’t Mark. It was someone else. 

“Please,” Johnny replied, surprising you. You’d never heard him beg for a damn thing in the entire time you’d known him. 

You swallowed, weighing your options. There weren’t many. Either you gave him the gun or you kept it for yourself. You just couldn’t understand why he was so adamant on having it, if not to turn it on you at some point. “Why do you need the gun? Why can’t I do it?” you asked quietly. 

“I don’t want his blood on your hands.”

Your heart thumped with an intense, deep tremor. Those words were weirdly sentimental to you in a way that was inexplicable. He was willing to take the blame so that you wouldn’t have a mark on your back. You believed him. If Doyoung was the Emperor, that made him one of the most influential figures in the underground. His death would send shock waves through the league and likely even through the public. 

The syndicate would have its revenge. No one would take out its Emperor and not be penalized accordingly for it, but you thought about it some more. Not only would the lack of power weaken them, but there was a way to take advantage of the situation at hand. 

So you gave Johnny the gun, holding your breath. He accepted it. 

The footsteps drew closer, louder. Johnny pulled you behind him and whipped around. 

It all happened in a blink. 

A gunshot echoed out. Your ears rang from the loud noise and you shuddered, only vaguely remembering the last time you had heard something so deadly. You thought you would be numb. It used to feel like nothing. Right now, however, staring down at where the bullet had pierced Doyoung squarely between the eyes, the feeling in your chest teetered toward relief. 

“Damn,” Johnny replied, handing you back the gun. “I’m still a damn good shot. What can’t I do?”

It took you a second, but you managed a laugh. The sight was surreal, but something told you that you’d made the right choice. 

Johnny rubbed his temple. He was clearly relieved too. “Alright, trivia time. You were in a unit for a year tasked with knowing everything about us. What do you know about me?”

“Uh, you’ve been dealing with poison for at least a decade. You’re the best poison specialist in the league and you learned in America, but you do dirty business with chemists all over the globe so that there’s less of a trail, which has made you a super pain in the ass,” you replied, reciting everything you knew from memory. 

The longer you thought about it, the more sense it made. Johnny had been hiding in plain sight this entire time and you’d had no idea. The thought made you somewhat uneasy, but you also had to admit that you were impressed.

“You’re forgetting the part where I’m his right hand.”

You gawked. “You’re what?”

Johnny chuckled, glancing at Doyoung’s lifeless corpse with no remorse. “Well, I was two minutes ago, that is. I’m the Emperor now.” 

Now that was a surprise. You knew their functions, but you had never understood the exact hierarchy system in the syndicate. “Johnny, what the...”

Johnny looked more than enthusiastic to explain, but his gaze quickly became distracted. By the time you caught the flicker of motion that had stolen his attention, it was too late. 

You tensed when you heard another gunshot rang out in the hallway. You and Johnny instinctively both clung to each other, shuddering with the same fear. 

Sol slumped to the ground as quickly as he’d moved.

Mark stepped forward, panting. He pushed his hair out of his face, lowering the weapon he’d somehow gotten ahold of. “Found the guns,” he announced, scratching his head.

You sighed in relief, but your eyes were wide with confusion. Sol must have stolen them, not that that made any sense whatsoever. “I thought he was dead?”

“That’s what Doyoung told me,” Mark said, glancing between the two very dead, bleeding bodies on the floor. “Damn, that’s a clean shot.”

“Thank you,” Johnny chirped, simpering.

You shook your head, emptying the chamber of the gun you were holding and handing it over to Johnny. “Get this damn thing away from me.”

The grin on Johnny’s face turned upside down when he heard your tone. “Hey, it’s done. It’s over.”

Mark smiled, watching you both from afar. There was a bittersweet feeling in his heart at the thought of what he’d lost and the sight of what you’d gained. “It’s over,” he echoed. 

You nodded, holding onto Johnny like you would die without him. Though you still couldn’t help but notice he was still covered in blood. “So why are you wearing blood if you didn’t kill the lady at the front desk?”

“I got into a little fight with that guy. I had no idea you knew him,” Johnny replied, lifting his shirt and revealing a bloody gash. 

You gawked. “You got stabbed?”

Johnny laughed. “You didn’t notice, right?”

“You have a pain tolerance even a masochist would bitch about,” you said, shaking your head. “I should have known. You have all those tattoos.”

“Never trust a guy with tattoos,” Johnny said jokingly. 

You snickered. “No, absolutely never.”

Mark seemed to have finally caught his breath. “Hey, Johnny guy. So, there’s not a team of snipers sitting outside this place?”

Johnny shook his head. “Nah. Doyoung really had it out for you guys, wanted to kill you himself.”

Mark sighed. “Where does Sol fit in all this? Doyoung said he was poisoned.”

Johnny shrugged. “Doyoung’s lied to you guys a lot, even all those years ago. He was planting fake clues to lead you guys astray, but you were still getting closer than he thought you would. So he threw in the towel.”

Hearing that made you frown. You’d looked up to Doyoung, admired him even. You hated that things had to end this way. “So is Margo really dead?”

“Who? That girl in your unit you were talking about on the plane?” Johnny asked. “I don’t know.”

Mark’s face fell. 

Your heart ached. Untangling yourself from Johnny’s arms, you walked over to Mark and pulled him in for a hug. “Go,” you whispered. “Look for her.”

“I have a better idea,” Johnny said. “If we get somewhere with better service, I can ask my team. If she’s dead, one of them probably know. Doyoung hasn’t been telling me stuff anymore for obvious reasons.”

Mark glanced at Johnny from over your shoulder. “You’re serious, dude? You’d do that?”

“A friend of the woman I love is a friend of mine. I can do a small favor. I have to let them know Doyoung’s dead anyway.”

Your heart warmed, but a question lingered over your head as you released Mark, and you asked, “But won’t they bark when they find out you killed him?”

Johnny’s shoulders shook as he laughed. There was a very, very tiny possibility, but that was why he took the kill. “Who said they had to find out? Dead men tell no tales.”

It was your turn to laugh. No one ever had to know. You could keep a secret, especially if it meant you’d be free from this hell. “I guess that’s true,” you replied, nodding. “Dead men tell no tales.”

[sam-vargas]

Colorado Springs, Breckenridge, Aspen, Frisco, CO

In the distance, a gradient of burnt orange rising to dark blue speckled with white lights, stood as the backdrop for silhouette of the Colorado mountains. As the automatic doors slid open, a rush of dry, temperate air offset the cool, controlled air within the airport, a harsh contrast to the heavy humidity of Florida. The plane had left Florida in the late afternoon, landing in Colorado Springs just as the sun dipped below the line of the horizon. After a two-hour drive in a rental car under a darkening sky, signs for Breckenridge appeared along the road.

The first leg of the trip was spent navigating trails near the hotel. Patches of hard, un-melted snow lay scattered across the hills and trails, protected in part by shade from the tall pine trees. Thin layers blanketed mountain peaks in the unreachable distance. Evenings were spent shopping and enjoying restaurants in the small town nearby. After the winter sports thrill seekers had gone, and the snowbirds had returned from their vacation homes in the South, the streets were primarily populated with locals and summer vacationers. The buildings were quaint, dark brick and light stone with large windows lit by sunlight during the day and the warm orange glow of artificial light at night.

After exhausting the attractions in Breckenridge, we drove southwest, winding between mountains and forests. Most roads had two lanes and were straight and flat, with clear predictable turns and curves. Others ran up and along mountainsides.

I remember looking out the window, past the road and down the steep slope, feeling a combination of carsickness from the winding roads and vertigo from the change in altitude. The knowledge of damp roads beneath our tires acted as fuel on the fire of my growing anxiety. Being a native Floridian, with my Floridian parent behind the wheel, I feared the unpredictable, tight curves as we climbed higher and higher.

Cool, clean air filled my lungs upon opening the car door and stepping out onto the loose earth. The sand and gravel underfoot stretched from the parking lot to a narrow path nestled between Aspens. The mountain itself stood out against the clear blue sky, looming above a crystalline blue lake. Water from the lake flowed into a river alongside the path, cascading over and between rocks and boulders. Small gray stones lined either side of the path leading to the beginning of the hiking trail. Uneven stone slabs and dirt acted as stairs, embedded by time and nature. Trees grew from the mountainside framing the path and curving overhead.

In the ascent up the mountain, breaks in the trees gave way to a shifted perspective. From above, the true breadth of the lake revealed itself, as did the spectacular view of the surrounding mountain peaks with snow topped crests. The path segued from sand to gravel to stone and boulders. Towering trees grew between the boulders along small inclines.

Progression up the mountain path brought higher altitudes and burning lungs, as a life spent at sea level failed to produce the lug capacity necessary for climbing. Frequent breaks extended the hike, but finally, tired and breathless, we reached the plateau.

Past the narrow sand and gravel trail, between trees and boulders, at the top amongst the surrounding mountain peaks, a turquoise blue lake with red clay accents sat nestled in a hidden nook. Breezes snuck past the gaps between mountains, and the sun beat down from a cloudless sky. The rush of water grazing the rocks, grass and dirt, burbled in the silence, accompanied by the rustle of pine needles and the swaying dance of the trees. Scattered voices rang out from passing tourists and hikers, a short burst of laughter, a whisper, a reverent phrase. Most, however, soaked in the silence of the moment, of the lake seemingly separate from the rest of the world.

Leaving behind this oasis was bittersweet, but our plan was to return to Breckenridge within the next day or so. The return trip seemed shorter, easier. The struggle came in leaving behind the beauty of the mountain.

The last leg of the trip found us back in Breckenridge. Rental bikes allowed us to traverse the trails between Breckenridge and Frisco. The long, scenic route ran between the highway and the mountains. Momentum increased with the small dips on the path and decreased as the path once again began to ascend, eventually becoming an incline starting at the base of the mountain. Burning calves worked petals, spinning wheels moved up the slope, and hearts pounded.

As we crested the mountain top, Frisco appeared through the trees. The off-grade buildings followed the slope of the terrain, and streets were lined with event tents crowded with people. Muffled voices rang out, amplified by speakers from the small concert stage at the end of the road. The sound of meat sizzling on the grill joined the cacophony, and the aroma of grilling meat left mouths watering.

The next day, our flight departed once again from Colorado Springs to Florida. Despite cracked, dry, and sunburnt skin, the trip was deemed a success.

[raplinesmoon]

hellooo i have a drabble request ☺️ “i know it’s winter, but you don’t have to act so cold!” and “i like it out here. it’s peaceful.” with jk if thats okie :) thank you!

Hi anon! Thank you so much for the request, I’m sorry it took a little bit to get it done! 💜💜💜

seas and greetings

pairing: jungkook x reader

warnings: they have a newlywed fight, Jungkook is a loveable fool, OC is rightfully frustrated, mentions of pregnancy, it’s so cute tho

word count: 478

The bright sunny climate was no match for the rage that seeped into your veins at this very moment. Hell hath no fury like a ___ scorned.

“___, come on, don’t be like this,” Jungkook pouts, wrapping his strong arms around your huffing figure. “I know it’s winter, but you don’t have to be so cold!”

The two of you wait outside the reception desk for the luxurious hotel you’d booked to enjoy your honeymoon. After working all year, barely sparing time to hold the wedding of your dreams, you’d been excited to get away from the bitter cold during the holidays. Except more bitterness was to greet you upon your arrival.

You see, Jungkook has turned away for one second at the airport, and suddenly your luggage had been stolen.

“Do not talk to me Jeon, I just-,” you grumble. “Look straight ahead at the reception desk, and no one has to get hurt.”

Jungkook sighs heavily, smile dropping at your slumped shoulders. This was not the way he wanted the vacation of your dreams, your present for this year, to go. Luckily he had forever to make it up for you.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

Rubbing your temples, you plop down on the terrace of your hotel room and open up your laptop. While your carry on had been spared, your heart drops at the fun time the two of you had planned that would now be spent recovering your lost items.

You hadn’t meant to be mad at Jungkook. In fact, you’d been so excited for the trip, even more so since the beginning of this week, because you’d planned something extra special for him. You were just frustrated, and you knew your kind husband took every little critique to heart.

Hearing the padding of footsteps, you look up to see Jungkook take a seat across of you, reaching out to thread your hands together.

“I like it out here,” he rumbles, directing your attention to the clear blue sky and the azure ocean. “It’s peaceful.”

“I just wanted everything to be perfect,” you let out a small sob. “This was supposed to be the honeymoon of our dreams. We were supposed to go swimming in a waterfall, take a boat ride, go ziplining, and I even made special reservations at the restaurant so we could celebrate the baby-“

You let out a gasp at your inadvertent admission, and you see Jungkook’s eyes widen, before breaking out into a huge grin.

“Are you-, is this for real?” he whispers, tears pricking his eyes.

“It wasn’t supposed to come out like that, you giggle. “I had a whole reveal planned.”

“___,” Jungkook says, leaning over to stroke your hair. “You just made this vacation more perfect than it could ever be. I don’t need a suitcase full of clothes, or shoes, or even my laptop. All I’ll ever want is you, and now our baby.”

smilestone ask prompts!

[firstbeachgoblin]

Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!

Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.

I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.

Returning to you.

Embry Call x Reader

5058 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.

The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.

It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.

That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.

Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.

My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.

“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.

He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.

“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.

“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.

“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.

“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.

“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.

“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”

I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.

“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.

“I-I know I just really miss you.”

“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”

We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.

The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.

My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’

The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.

Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”

I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.

The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.

I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.

I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.

Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.

The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.

Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.

It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.

One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.

I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.

I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.

“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.

“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.

“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.

He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning

“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.

I knew he was buttering me up for something.

“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”

“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”

I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.

“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.

“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.

We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.

‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’

I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.

The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.

Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.

As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.

I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.

I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.

I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.

Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.

My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.

The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.

My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.

The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.

I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.

As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.

“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.

“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.

“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.

“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.

“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”

“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.

I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.

We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.

The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.

I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.

Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.

I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.

I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.

“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.

“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”

My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.

I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.

The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.

The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.

“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.

One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm

“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.

“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.

The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.

“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”

We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.

The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.

It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.

Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.

Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.

I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.

As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.

My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.

A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.

I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.

Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.

We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.

I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.

Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.

I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.

I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.

The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.

Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.

As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.

The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.

It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.

Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.

“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.

She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.

The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.

I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.

Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.

“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.

“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.

We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.

The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.

My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.

I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.

Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.

My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.

I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.

My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.

“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.

“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.

“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.

“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”

“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.

“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”

His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.

“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.

“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”

“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.

“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.

“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.

“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book: may retrospective

what's up ladles and germs, i spent the month of may out of town and jumping in and out of wifi coverage, so this post is has been a long time coming!

reading brought rebecca roanhorse's black sun with me on this trip, started and finished the whole thing on various trains in france. loved the main four pov characters, didn't quite get into it until after the first third or so, but all of the details and worldbuilding were terrific. i can never get enough of a third-party perspective on a character, so seeing serapio through xiala's narration was *chef's kiss* and helped me care so much more about him than his own pov, actually. i wasn't at all convinced by the flash-forward / flash-back introduction of naranpa's situation initially (the conversation she remembers with her parents just felt stilted), but doggone it by the time we came full circle and i saw how the dramatic irony was working, i was onboard. got a kick out of trying to place the different cites around the 'crescent sea' aka gulf, which may not have been correct but was fun.excited to see book two.

honorable mention in this section to the paying guests, sarah waters, which i bought from a charity shop for £2 while visiting bath UK (also at that charity shop: a set of porcelain egg cups!!). how different life might have been if i'd been able to read sarah waters younger in life.

listening downloaded to my phone for train rides, metro rides, walks across the countryside of different countries, etc.: florence + the machine's dance fever (2022) and the eurovision 2022 playlist. i don't have developed dance fever thoughts (except that...the aesthetic for the videos/album art feels more cohesive and possibly more successful than the album? but i did like it?) but i thoroughly enjoy 'free' and 'daffodil', and there are times when 'cassandra' really does hit. apparently she worked with jack antonoff on this album; things i learned while researching this post. i wasn't swayed by the spoken moments, all that much, but 'heaven is here' is somehow captivating? 'king' remains the standout; i do in fact need my bloody sword etc.

my eurovision thoughts are that everyone should go watch the performances by serbia (konstrakta, 'in corpore sano') and norway (subwoolfer, 'give that wolf a banana'), like, right now. watch them again if you saw them live. also here's a look at the lyrics and message of 'in corpore sano,' which, yes. and my other thought is that, this year, i actually might go out and listen to the other works by a bunch of these eurovision artists, which i realize is?? probably the actual goal of the contest???

watching finished our flag means death in my buddy's hotel room in london, watched the majority of my brilliant friend: those who leave and those who stay in various hostels with @hematiterings (series thoughts in the next post!), and tried to keep up with strange new worlds when we could. this version of spock entertains me. ofmd was good, i had managed not to be spoiled for the ending.not sure i can find a comment or common thread for these three, but, shows with friends = good. especially when you're footsore and far from home. actually i do have something, showing new trek / uhura to a nontrekkie linguistics person was hilarious.

playing fallow month.

making i may not bullet journal, but i sure did accumulate a stack of interesting things to stick into a hypothetical future scrapbook of some kind. and stickers! I made some good food the week i spent in maine (lots of chicken, an eggplant stir fry that i did have to throw out when i broke the container and got glass in the leftovers, absolutely tragic)

working on this month was the month of Archives Visits so what i made were reservations and emails and notes and pictures of manuscripts. turned out okay though :D EDIT: totally forgot but while traveling i did a zoom interview for, and then found out i had gotten, a small fellowship at my institution for next year. please clap!

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It’s the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.

Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.

I’m so excited to finally share it with you.

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Also posted at AO3

—-

Chapter 3: Dancing On Glass

I've been through hell // And I'm never goin' back // To dancing on glass // Going way too fast...

Need one more rush // Then I know, I know I'll stop // One extra push // Last trip to the top...

Soundtrack: “Dancing On Glass,” Mötley Crüe, 1987 [click here to listen]

Three P.M.

Group.

Claire’s hands wrapped around the hard sides of the plastic chair, holding herself upright, watching about two dozen fellow patients? inmates? addicts? shuffle into the room.

Two people stood at the door – greeting others as they entered, handing out small packets of tissues and bottles of Coke.

Today’s facilitator – a middle-aged, bearded man – stood to one side, chatting with a few people.

“Hey!”

Claire startled – and turned to her right to see Jamie slide into the chair beside her.

“How’s it going today? Day two, right?”

She nodded. “Met with my therapist this morning.”

“That’s great! Who’ve you got?”

“Gillian.”

Jamie cracked open a bottle. “Oh, she’s great. Been here a long time. She’s married to the director – did you know that?”

Claire’s eyebrows raised. “No, but that’s really interesting.”

Jamie gulped about half the bottle in one shot. “Yeah. We owe everything to them.”

“Yeah, well. I got assigned to dinner set-up duty.”

He beamed. “Great! I’ve been on that rotation for the last few weeks. I’ll show you all the ropes.”

“Few weeks? How long have you been here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He set down his Coke. “I don’t. And I’ve been here eight weeks. The best eight weeks of my fucked-up life.”

“Don’t say that,” she chided. “Surely everything can’t be so terrible.”

He stared at her for a long moment.

“It can be, if you were the reason why a sold-out European tour couldn’t happen, and it cost your backers and buddies tens of millions of dollars, and it pissed off countless thousands of fans.”

Now the greeters took their seats within the circle.

“Couldn’t, or didn’t?” Claire hoped her words were gentle, but when her head split with pain like this she could never tell. “And what do you mean by ‘tour’?”

His eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t. My manager said I’d come back from Europe in a body bag. He’s a bloodsucker but he had enough sense to not kill the golden goose.” He finished his Coke in one long gulp – flexing the tattoos swirling on his forearm and elbow. “And I’m a professional musician – in case you couldn’t guess from the way I look.”

“I see.”

He grinned. “How about that – someone who doesn’t recognize me.”

She folded her hands in her lap, closing her eyes against the pain, so desperately wanting to disappear. “I guess between medical school, and being a surgeon, and my ex-husband…and the pills…there are a lot of things I haven’t paid attention to.”

“Hey.” Softly he reached out to touch her knee – and she looked up at him.

“I’m not making fun of you, Claire. It’s just…I don’t know. Refreshing.”

She smiled tightly.

The facilitator clapped his hands. “Everyone – are we ready?”

People around the circle nodded, and the man sat down in the last empty chair.

“Great. Well, hi everyone. For those of you who don’t know me – I’m Murtagh. Been clean for just about eleven years now. Before that I spent a small fortune that I didn’t have – ”

“ – on enough blow to kill an elephant,” Jamie and several others chorused.

Murtagh smiled. “Wiseasses. Now – today’s topic is: clarity.”

“Can you be more specific?” A heavyset, bearded man across the circle piped up.

“You mean – provide more clarity?” Geneva snickered from somewhere near Jamie.

“Easy,” Murtagh interjected. “And yes, Rupert, of course. What I mean is: something I hear a lot from people here is that being away from substances gives them clarity for the first time in years. Clarity of thoughts – meaning, you’re logical and rational. Clarity of judgment – meaning, you feel like you are empowered to make good decisions. And overall, clarity to step away from all the bullshit that the substances made you do, or made it easier for you to do, and say – damn, what the hell was I doing?”

Across the circle, Rupert nodded. “OK. Oh – hi everyone, I’m Rupert, and I’m an alcoholic. Yeah – I can definitely relate. I wanted to not have clarity, so that I didn’t have to think about how much I was screwing up my job, and my marriage.”

“Good,” Murtagh praised. “And now that you can’t avoid it – how do you feel?”

Rupert stroked his thick beard. “Like shit. I love Scarlet so much, and I fucked it all up. I understand that now.”

“I feel the same way,” Jamie added. “Hi, I'm Jamie, and I'm an alcoholic, too. I drank because I’ve always felt so responsible for everything going on in my band – because I’m the guy that brought us together, and I’m the guy who writes the songs, and I’m the guy who’s across the table from the record company executives, advocating on our behalf.” He bounced a long, thin, jean-clad leg rapidly up and down. “I felt like I was being used, and that I was the only one who cared. I felt that really clearly. So I drank to…to avoid that clarity.”

Claire carefully watched the others around the circle. What Jamie was sharing could make any one of them a quick buck – all it would take was one phone call to a tabloid. But everyone was listening raptly – clearly thinking about parallels in their own lives – and it began to dawn on her that Jamie had one thing she didn’t have much of for herself: respect.

“And then when I drank, I’d just get really mean,” he continued. “I’d say things to rile up my drummer. I had a fling with my manager’s girlfriend, just to fuck with him. And yeah, I’d destroy hotel rooms.”

“Your reaction was to want to hurt people,” Murtagh said gently. “You had had clarity – clarity that you were shouldering too much, for too many people – and you reacted by wanting to push them away.”

“Yeah.” Claire spoke without thinking. “Um – hi everyone, I’m Claire, and I’m addicted to pills. Halcions, mostly.”

“Oh, those are the best,” a woman to Claire’s left remarked.

“Hey – no positive talk,” Murtagh interjected. “You know better than that, Letitia.”

Letitia huffed.

Murtagh turned back to face Claire. “Tell us more, Claire, if you’re comfortable?”

Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. “I was – am – a trauma surgeon for an emergency room. I love it – I love the adrenaline of it, and of course being able to help people on the worst day of their lives. I love being able to heal people. But…but it’s pretty heavy stuff. People die, no matter how hard you try to save them. People wake up and they’re not happy that they don’t have a leg anymore – and I say, would you rather be dead?”

“And you wanted to get away from that?” Jamie asked gently.

She closed her eyes. “I had to have clarity to do my job properly – it’s hard to describe, but it’s like having a laser focus on what’s in front of you. Getting in the zone. Shutting out everything else. And then when it’s all done – I would crash. The whole world would come rushing back, and I’d be covered in someone else’s blood and barely able to sit down before I had to work on the next person. That was so, so hard to deal with.”

“I understand.” Claire opened her eyes – it was an older man speaking right next to Jamie. “Hi everyone – I’m Ned, I’m a lawyer and crack addict, and there are a lot of jokes I’m sure you could make based on that.”

Claire managed a small smile.

“I’m a defense attorney – I’m that guy you see on TV arguing in a courtroom and presenting to a jury. I totally get what Claire said, because I needed to have that kind of really focused clarity, too. It was kind of like acting – I had to remember my argument, and I had to present it to the jury, and I had to pick up on cues from them to see how well I was doing. And then afterward I’d just crash. But I still had to have energy to prep for the next day, and that’s where Miss Crack came in.”

“So what I’m hearing is that clarity is something you already had – and then you turn to substances to get away from it.” Murtagh folded his arms. “Because it’s hard to flip that ‘off’ switch. And then eventually, the substances change from being something to take a vacation from that clarity, to completely blocking out that clarity altogether.”

“Exactly.” It was easier for Claire to focus on Murtagh than the sea of faces surrounding her. “And it’s a deliberate choice. I’m sure, Ned and Rupert and Jamie, that you deliberately sought out something to prevent that clarity. I know I did – I wrote the prescriptions for the pills that I consumed.”

Rupert nodded. “The bottle didn’t pick itself up and pour the liquor down my throat. And you’re right, Claire – at first, at least, it was a conscious decision. Until it became something I had to depend on.”

“I think that there are ways for this to happen more positively.” A woman seated beside Rupert quietly spoke. “Oh – hi, everyone, I’m Marsali, and I’m an alcoholic. What I mean is, there are ways to flip that ‘off’ switch that aren’t so…destructive. You can go for a run. Listen to music. Cook a meal. Watch a movie. Make love to your significant other.”

Murtagh nodded. “Marsali brings up a good point here. I’ll repeat something that I’ve already told many of you before, because it bears repeating. Substance addiction is addiction, first and foremost. All of us are here because our brains are hard-wired for addiction. We can’t change that. But we can change what it is that we’re addicted to.”

“Like what?” Letitia had calmed down a bit, but clearly she was skeptical.

“Whatever works for you,” Murtagh shrugged. “Jiu Jitsu. Flower Arranging. Reading. Playing the drums. Writing. Riding motorcycles. Not all addictions are bad – we just need to find the addictions that help us, and don’t hurt us or the people around us.”

Everyone’s heads nodded in agreement, quietly reflecting.

“So – that’s my homework assignment for all of you.” Murtagh pulled a small spiral notebook from his pocket, flipped to a fresh page, and began scribbling in it. “To think about the thing that you can become positively addicted to. Something you already enjoy, or something you’ve never done before. But I hope that even just thinking about it will give you focus. Improve your clarity.”

“Got it,” Ned said quietly.

Murtagh flipped back to an earlier page in his notebook. “Now – I have here my notes from the last time I facilitated Group. OK if I start going around and asking people for follow-up thoughts to those? Rupert?”

Rupert nodded, and began to speak.

“Facilitators take turns hosting Group every fourth day.” Claire started a bit, but held steady as Jamie leaned in close, spoke quietly into her ear. “We talk about things, and we’re assigned homework, and then the next time the facilitator is back we talk about it.”

“Thanks,” Claire murmured.

Jamie didn’t pull away. “If you ever just want to talk…”

She swallowed. “Thanks. I do. I just – it’s a lot to process.”

“It is. But you’ll get there. Talk more at our dinner prep.”

With that he pulled back, and a low buzz settled somewhere between Claire’s ears as the people around her chimed in to the conversation.

[potionsprefect]

A Hawaiian Prank

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: He thought it was going to be a relaxing break.

Rating: General Audiences

Category: fluff

A missing scene from chapter 11 of book 3

Whenever Ethan had a rare day off, he usually spent it reading a book. He couldn’t remember the last time he took a vacation but it was a welcomed surprise.

He of course wouldn’t miss Ines’ wedding for anything. He was just surprised he was having more time off, so soon after coming back from suspension.

Currently, Ethan was sat on the beach next to the hotel reading a medical journal he had bought with him. He was expecting to finish the book on this trip but he figured a certain blonde haired third year resident would have other ideas.

Ethan looked up and saw other hospital staff set up base on the beach, some putting sun cream on, others heading straight for the water. Ethan went back to reading his book, not seeing who he wanted.

It was around 10 minutes later and someone had approached Ethan. He found the book taken out of his hands and put to one side before someone nestled next to him, throwing an arm across his midsection.

“I was just about to start the last chapter.” Ethan chuckled.

“You can read it when we’re in bed. You should enjoy the beautiful scenery.” Victoria replied.

“Which one? The beach or the woman next to me?” Ethan teased.

“Smooth Ramsey. Now be a good boy and rub sun cream on my back. I just can’t reach that area you know.” Victoria grinned handing Ethan the bottle as she sat up.

Ethan laughed as he squirted some of the cream into his hands and rubbed it over Victoria’s back, covering all areas. As he rubbed it in, he pressed a small kiss to Victoria’s neck, eliciting a soft sigh from her.

“Thank you.” Victoria pressed a soft kiss to his lips before snuggling beside him.

“Am I allowed to go back to my book?” Ethan asked chuckling.

“As you’ve been good I’ll allow it.” Victoria replied.

“Thank you for permission.” Ethan said sarcastically.

“Anytime.” Victoria winked grinning.

Ethan picked up his book and opened it, holding it up in one hand as his other arm went around Victoria bring her closer. She laid her head on his chest as he stroked her hair, the sensation making her sleepy and it wasn’t long before she dozed off.

Ethan finished the book in no time before putting it back into his bag and pulling Victoria tighter against his chest. The peacefulness of having her in his arms made him smile and at this particular moment, nothing could dampen his mood.

Ethan found himself shutting his eyes, enjoying the serenity around him. It didn’t take long for him to fall into a similar sleeping pattern as Victoria, the couple wrapped up in each other under the Hawaiian sun.

— — — — —

“And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you do a cutback.” Bryce grinned as he exited the water, surf board in hand.

“I think I’ll stick to more tranquil activities like snorkelling.” Sienna replied.

“Yeah nothing can beat looking at the fish and stingrays.” Aurora agreed.

“I prefer the thrill. Plus I looked totally fantastic out there.” Bryce winked.

“We’re only a day in and you’re already insufferable scalpel jockey.” Jackie rolled her eyes.

“I’m in my home state Jackie, let me live.” Bryce held a hand to his heart pretending to be wounded.

“Who else to teach us how to relax.” Rafael laughed.

“Nah that’s Victoria’s job. She’s the queen of face packs and oils.” Elijah laughed.

“Speaking of Victoria where is she?” Bryce asked.

“Where do you think?” Rafael laughed pointing further down the beach to where Victoria and Ethan were.

“They look so in love.” Sienna sighed happily.

“Has he actually told her he loves her yet?” Rafael asked.

“Nope. Dr Terminator is known for having a heart of stone.” Elijah replied.

“Does that look like a stone heart to you?” Aurora asked.

“How one woman has the power to bring a man to his knees I’ll never know.” Rafael said.

Jackie and Bryce were looking at each other, then grinned, both of them thinking of the same idea.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Bryce grinned.

“How many buckets do you have?” Jackie said.

“Two. But that’s more than enough.” Bryce replied. He passed a bucket to Jackie who got up and headed into the water to fill it up.

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Sienna asked.

“We sure are double oh tiny.” Bryce winked.

“You’re mean.”

“We’re just having a bit of fun Aurora. Given how much Ramsey has softened since outing him and Vic, I think he’ll find this funny.” Jackie.

“I think your version and his version of funny are different. But nevertheless I’m in.” Elijah laughed.

“Raf do us a favour and film it so I can look back and laugh.” Bryce chucked him his phone.

“Gladly. Although if he gets angry I’m directing him to you.” Rafael chuckled.

“Deal.”

Jackie and Bryce quietly made their way over to where Ethan and Victoria were sleeping, carrying two buckets of water.

Rafael set himself up in front of the couple, phone in hand as Bryce and Jackie appeared behind them

Bryce counted down from three slowly. Once at one, he tipped the water over Ethan, Jackie doing the same with Victoria.

“What the hell?!” Victoria sat up looking around.

“It was too good an opportunity to pass.” Bryce replied laughing.

“Should’ve stayed in the hotel room.” Jackie laughed high fiving Bryce.

“I had no say in this.” Rafael said handing Bryce back his phone.

“I have to say, it was an unexpected yet welcomed surprise.” Ethan chuckled.

“Wait... you’re not mad?” Bryce asked.

“It’s 86 outside Lahela, I don’t think a bit of sea water will have any lasting effect.” Ethan replied.

“Fair enough.”

“Did you just... break Doctor Terminator?” Jackie looked at Bryce bewildered.

“I think you’ll find I did that in more ways than one.” Victoria winked.

Jackie pretended to gag whilst Rafael and Bryce laughed.

“Hang on, my medical book is wet.” Ethan said looking in his bag.

“Run for it.” Bryce said dashing back up the beach, Jackie and Rafael following him closely behind.

“Finally alone.” Ethan said pulling Victoria back into his arms once the others were out of earshot.

“Was your book really wet?”

“What do you think?” Ethan laughed.

“Impressive thinking. It’s nice to know that there is still some part of Doctor Terminator on this trip.”

“Yeah about that... care to explain?”

“I will do one day. For now I’ll keep you guessing.” Victoria grinned.

Two can play at that game, Ethan thought. In one swift movement, he was on his feet, picking Victoria up bridal style and walking them both into the water. Once he was waist deep, he let her go.

“Is that how you play things now Ramsey?” Victoria laughed as she came back up to the surface.

“Upping my game around you is something I’d happily do.” Ethan laughed back.

“I like seeing this side of you.” Victoria smiled wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Luckily I like you being the one I bring it out for.” Ethan said leaning down to kiss Victoria, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Back on the beach, Victoria’s friends were watching the couple with smiles on their faces.

“Still think Ramsey has a heart of stone?” Aurora turned to Elijah.

“I think it’s more a heart full of love.”

“Remember, he hasn’t said it yet.” Sienna said.

“I wouldn’t give him too long. If he doesn’t say it by the end of our residency, I will buy everyone drinks in Donahues.” Jackie said.

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

— — — — —

I couldn’t resist exploring this idea that popped into my head 😂

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[ahkaahshi]

lucky [oikawa tooru x reader]

pairing: oikawa tooru x fem reader

genre: smut (18+) with some fluff :)

warning(s): explicit sexual content, orgasm denial/edging, roleplaying, penetrative sex, implied deep throating, swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of gambling and casinos, and oikawa being a lovable dork as always

word count: 5.4k (a monster of a fic compared to my usual writing. whew)

overview: after a long weekend of work-related conferences, you’re desperate to let off some steam at the hotel bar. however, you don’t realize what you’re in for when you take to eyeing the man you couldn’t keep your attention off of when you arrived.

From the first moment you set foot beneath the sea of twinkling fairy lights adorning the patio of the luxurious hotel bar, you haven’t been able to take your eyes off him. Like a star, he shimmers in the gentle glow—his crisp, white button-up reflecting every hint of light that falls upon his figure. That bright smile of his he flashes the bartender as the two enjoy a casual chat is radiant, threatening to set your heart ablaze. With the warmth that his demeanor exudes, it’s impossible for you notto notice his presence in spite of all the other patrons chattering, swaying to the music, and enjoying a good laugh with friends in the large, outdoor space.

Oikawa Tooru. You already know his name after seeing his face on national television countless times, but you never could’ve expected that you would bump into him during the last night of your stay at this hotel in particular. Even from afar, he’s just as stunning—if not more so—than he appears on the volleyball court, and the instant attraction you feel to him is what has you carefully weaving between the throngs of guests to make your way over to the bar.

The seat next to him is open, but you think twice about taking it. Doing so would quickly put you in a rather intimate situation, you assume, given how close each stool is located to the next, so you settle on leaving a bit of distance between the two of you by perching on the plush cushion of a one a few seats away. Once you’ve placed your small purse securely on a hook beneath the counter, you flag the bartender with a small wave of the hand and a smile, making him abandon his conversation with the professional volleyball player to attend to you.

There’s a brief moment when your gaze meets his brown one tinged golden by the lights as he glances over to see the source of his conversation’s interruption, and, in that short span of time before your eyes dart away from his, you swear you catch a glimpse of a smile playing on his lips. After you’ve placed your signature drink order, you focus your attention on the man behind the counter instead, watching him grab and combine the ingredients necessary to fill your request. However, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re not the only one having a hard time keeping their eyes to themselves.

And your own inability to do so is what has you sending another glance down the bar in his direction, (e/c) eyes trailing along the intricate detailing beneath the counter’s resin surface as they make their way over to his. Trying to withhold the smile that almost instinctively spreads across your lips at noticing the one already gracing his when your gazes meet again is futile. There’s something about his radiant presence and the barely noticeable glint of rapture shining in his eyes that has your heart fluttering in your chest—and its pace soon increases when he lifts his glass, grabs the jacket draped over the hook by his knee, and stands so he can close the distance between you.

A giggle tinged with both delight and nervousness escapes your lips before you call out to him, “You don’t have to come over here!”

“Oh?” he questions coyly, raising an eyebrow at you as he ducks beneath the counter for a moment to place his jacket on the hook beside your purse, “What was I supposed to do, then? Just sit and stare until someone else came to chat you up?” His teasing remark fills you with warmth, as does the realization that only a few inches separate you from the impossibly attractive man you’d been admiring. As bold as you were to look him in the eye before, you find the feat to be a challenge now.

“Not exactly,” you suggest, suppressing your nerves enough to deliver an equally playful response of, “But I thought I’d receive a message from the bartender that my drink’s already been paid for by the handsome loner at the other end of the bar before he gathered the courage to approach me?”

His fingers swim through his brown waves of feathery hair as his lips quirk into a devilish smile. “Mm, but then I would’ve been doing exactly what you expected me to do! And where’s the fun in that, huh?” You follow his chestnut gaze to the man behind the counter when he sets the drink you’d requested down on the coaster near in front of you. Your hand’s journey to your purse is stopped by a light touch on your arm and the words, “You can put anything she orders on my bill,” leaving your new drinking partner’s mouth.

Traces of heat skitter along the skin his fingers graze like stray embers that have escaped the fire. Somehow, in the coolness of the night with not a drop of liquor in your system, there’s not a single goosebump on your body.

“Thank you…”

“Tooru.” He sticks his hand into the small void between you in a formal greeting.

You return the favor, sliding your palm against his and giving it a gentle shake. “(F/n).” A thought about how soft and gentle yet firm his grip is passes through your mind, bringing familiar prickles of warmth to your cheeks. “I appreciate it.”

Chuckling, he mentions, “Didn’t wanna ruin the little fantasy you seem to have all put together in that pretty head of yours by making you pay for your own drink.” The degree of rapture in his gaze, as if he thinks your face is the most enticing subject in his field of vision, slowly melts away your hesitation, and you find yourself raising your glass to his after it’s been refilled once more in an amicable toast.

The first taste always burns the most, but Oikawa’s presence seems to sweeten it ever so subtly. “So,” you hum after taking a deep breath to collect your thoughts, “what brings you here tonight by yourself? Thought someone as famous as you are wouldn’t be a moment without an entourage of adoring, female fans.”

He snickers, lips curling up into a grin that reflects his amusement. “It’s quite a large burden to bear, if I do say so myself, but I managed to escape their clutches just moments before you got here. Pretty lucky if I do say so myself,” he explains, his flirtations accompanied by a small wink. After taking another sip of the dark liquor in his glass, he adds, “As far as what I’m doing here; well, I’m here on business. But there’s no harm in mixing in a little pleasure, right?”

You shrug. “Might as well.”

“How about you?” Your gaze only leaves his for a moment to watch the way his fingertips graze the height of his glass, collecting droplets of condensation rolling down the sides. The silver rings he’s wearing on his right index and ring fingers shine when they catch a hint of the soft light pouring over your forms.

Returning your attention to his eyes, which appear to relax at having the pleasure of meeting yours once again, you elaborate, “Same reason. Wanted to find at least one fun thing to do after a long weekend of back to back work-related events.”

“In that case, feel free to have as many drinks as you want—on me,” he offers. However, before you can protest and tell him that you would never be so cruel as to exploit his generous offer, he comments, “But, if you’d rather sink money into something a little more rewarding and exciting than the frankly overpriced alcohol here, what do you say to joining me in the casino?”

You bat your eyelashes at him from over the rim of your glass while you take another sip as an indication that you’ll give him an answer when you can speak again. The invitation’s rather bold, you think, considering the fact that the two of you have only known each other for a grand total of about ten minutes. In any other situation, you’d most likely say no and do anything you could to shirk your conversational partner’s advances—depending on how they’d approached you, that is. But you find that you don’t want to say no to him.

Whether it’s the way his inviting gaze threatens to keep drawing you closer and closer to him so you can see the glimmer of the fairy lights in his eyes, or the air of warmth surrounding him that makes you feel as if you’ve known him forever, you don’t know—but you just can’t say no. You don’t want to. Sure, you’d gotten dressed up and taken a trip down to the ritzy hotel’s bar with the intentions of alleviating your boredom, but if you left with him, it would be because you wanted to be in his company rather than because you wanted a solution to your issue.

So, you answer him with a nod, but delay your next course of action for a while longer by asking, “Is it alright if I indulge in just one more of these overpriced drinks before we leave, though? I don’t know about know about you, but I only just got here.”

His smile doesn’t falter as he obliges with a dip of the head. “Really trying to bleed me dry, here, aren’tcha?”

“Might as well leave the bar knowing that you spent your money on something worthwhile before losing it all at the slots.”

“In that case, I’ll order myself another too.”

The two of you share a much-needed laugh, considering your long weekends of work, and continue your conversation over another refill. Though you’re sure the time the two of you spend on the plush stools at the bar top is relatively short, it feels much longer, and you find yourself abstaining from finishing your drink too quickly to prolong the moments you spend together—since you don’t want him to splash more of his hard-earned money on another rather average drink hiding behind a fancy name. In spite of all the commotion surrounding you as people dance, fill up the barstools on either side of you, or raise their voices to be heard over the chatter and music, his figure is the only thing you can see, and his voice the only thing you can hear.

You do snap back to reality once more, though, when you both come to the realization that your glasses are empty, but you’re happy that his idea to visit the casino means this isn’t the end of your night together. Once he’s slid on his jacket and you’ve slung your purse over your shoulder, the two of you head back into the hotel and stride down the ornately designed carpeting towards your destination. The slight sensation of the alcohol buzzing in your veins fills you with warmth that he seems to localize and intensify with his light touches to the small of your back as he guides you over towards the glowing slot machines.

Oikawa notices your hesitation when you sit down in front of one of the money-guzzling contraptions, and teases, “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you have to pay to play, princess.”

The affectionate nickname that leaves his mouth makes your heart jump in your chest and nearly takes your breath away. Quickly regaining your composure and dismissing his comment with a wave of the hand, you simper, “Of course I know that, Tooru. I’m just trying to decide if this is really worth it, since I never seem to have the best luck with the slots.”

A reassuring smile forms across his lips, and his eyelashes flutter ever so slightly as his eyes flit over your figure. “Well,” he sighs, leaning against the seat and nonchalantly slinging his arm over the back of yours, “you never know. Tonight might just be the night you get lucky.”

His comment seems innocent enough, but the seduction laced into his voice as well as the confidence behind the smirk that replaces his sweet grin has you believing otherwise. And his intentions soon become clearer as you make your rounds around the casino together.

At first, you think his advances a figment of your hyperactive imagination projecting your own desires onto him. That every bumping of your knees together while lounging in the cushioned seats at the machines is an accident, and that every graze of his fingertips along your arm is just a polite way of grabbing your attention. However, as the evening wears on, you stop second-guessing yourself. To be fair, it gets fairly challenging to deny that something more than just camaraderie is present between the two of you when his hand wraps around your waist as you make your way to the blackjack table—and eventually ends up running along your thigh beneath the cover the polished wood provides.

His touch ignites your entire body with sensation. It refuses to be ignored, just as his presence had when you’d seen him at the bar earlier, and it fuels a desire within you to have his hands on every inch of your skin. Oh, how sad they must be, only being able to travel the short expanse between your knee and the hem of your dress’s tight skirt for the sake of politeness, you think. But pity is the exact opposite of what you should feel towards him, since you know better than anyone else that you want more than anything to give into him.

He seems to sense—given the way your own hands never move to reject his advances and you lean into his touch when he experimentally puts an arm around you—that you’re on the same page as he is, and decides to beckon you closer to him for a chat before you reach your next destination. “Hey, whaddya say we make things a little more fun?” he suggests, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Thankfully, the shuddering breath that escapes your mouth is lost beneath the ringing of the slot machines and upbeat music.

“What did you have in mind?” you wonder, feeling excitement course through you at the limitless options that he could be imagining.

“How about—” he pauses for a moment to lean down closer to your ear—“we make a little deal?” You follow his gaze over to the roulette table a few feet away before fastening your attention on him once more as he offers, “If the ball lands on an even number, I’ll give you a special prize.” He retrieves a small, plastic card from his coat pocket that you instantly recognize as a room key, making your breath hitch in your throat and your eyelashes flutter with shock.

You swallow thickly and ask, “And what if it doesn’t?”

The grin that tugs at the corners of his mouth is one you’ve seen before many times on television when he’d one-upped his opponents with an unexpected play, but being exposed to it in person and in such close proximity to him has your heart racing. “You’ll have to be willing to take the risk and play in order for you to find out the answer to that question, sweetheart. Trust me, you can’t lose.”

There’s a long moment of silence that ensues his proposition before you nod in agreement and strut over to the table to try your luck. After placing a bet on all even numbers, you watch with bated breath as the tiny ball whizzes around the outside of the wheel. Oikawa chuckles at your clear desperation, earning him a roll of the eyes from you. Because of your previously held belief that you’d probably end up losing more than you’d earned tonight, your heart leaps with excitement when the ball rolls into the slot with the number 22 etched into it.

“Well, look at you! What did I say earlier?” Oikawa muses, giving your shoulder a pat as you collect your winnings even though they’re not at the top of your mind like his hotel room key is. The sensation of the card’s smooth edges running along your fingers when he slides it into your awaiting palm gives you an instant adrenaline rush. “Off you go, then. I’ll be up in a minute.” Before you can even ask him what the alternate option to the deal would’ve been, he’s giving you a gentle nudge in the direction of the tiled floor leading towards the lobby. The parting words he whispers in your ear have your core flooding with heat: “Oh, and I’d really appreciate it if that dress was off by the time I got there.”

In an instant, he’s sauntering in the opposite direction, leaving you to walk to the elevator by yourself on shaky legs that continue to quiver the entire ride up to the eighth floor. Part of you wants to curse yourself for being so susceptible to his irresistible charm and sugared words, but there’s no point in doing so now. You’re going to get what you want, after all.

As you step into his room, you’re greeted by the subtle yet delightful scent of his cologne wafting from the suits in the closet on your way over to the foot of the large bed you see peeking out from around the corner. Nervous tingles travel down your spine as you kick off your shoes and reach for the zipper of your dress, making your skin erupt in goosebumps, but the sensation doesn’t stop you from slipping the garment off and settling down against the plush duvet.

Luckily, he doesn’t keep you waiting long, and you’re leaping to your feet when you hear the heavy door open, letting in the conversations of other guests wandering down the hall nearby. For a split second, you feel self-conscious and wish you had more covering your body than just a lacy bra and panties, but, when you see the way his steps come a halt and his gaze traces over the entirety of your figure, drinking in the beautiful sight before him, your hesitation immediately dissipates.

Slowly, he approaches you, shrugging off his jacket before placing one hand on your bare waist and using his other to tilt your chin up so he can look into your eyes. “You’re gorgeous, (f/n),” he breathes, pupils dilating as they trace and retrace the path from yours to your lips parted with anticipation and desperate to be kissed, “I got lucky too. So, so lucky.”

Your eyelids flutter shut as he presses his warm lips against yours. They’re soft and gentle, molding to fit the shape of yours as if they were created to be interlocked. As his tongue runs along yours after tentatively prodding your lower lip in a silent request for access, his fingers dance along the bare skin on your back. Soon, your kisses are becoming more and more heated, and your hands are moving to his shirt to undo the buttons keeping it clasped together.

“Lemme take these off, yeah?” he murmurs against your lips, tugging at the back of your bra with one hand and at the waistband of your thong with the other. All you can do is nod, since you’re too breathless to give a verbal response, and allow him to undo the clasp around your back. A gentle push towards the bed sends you toppling down atop it with a playful giggle before he finishes your job of ridding himself of his shirt and tugs your panties down your legs.

Through half-lidded eyes, you can see the strain of his erection against his trousers, making your mouth water. He smirks at your mounting desire for him and kneels down on the carpet, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. As teasingly as you’d expect from him, he drags a long finger down your slit, dragging the juices seeping out of your core up to your clit and rubbing the sensitive bud experimentally, delighted by the loud moans he reaps from your vocal cords in response.

“Tooru…” you utter needily, arching your back, “More… please.”

Unable to resist your gentle plea, he brings his lips to the plush skin of your inner thigh and mumbles, “Keep saying my name just like that, princess.” His low hum of contentment sends vibrations through your entire lower region as his mouth presses against your entrance so he can lick a broad stripe from there to your pearl.

The sensation’s nearly too much for you, but you soon melt into it, your hands reaching for his head of soft, brown hair to bring his face closer to your heat as he pleasures you with his tongue. His fingers splay across your thighs and give them a tight squeeze before he moves them up to your hips so he can hold you in place when you begin rocking them against his tongue. The sound of his name leaving your mouth in more desperate cries encourages him to delve the wet muscle deep enough into your core to make you squeal and tighten your grasp around the strands woven between your fingers.

It only takes a few minutes for him to have you at the brink of your first orgasm with how skilled his tongue is in working your sensitive bundle of nerves. “Right there—ah—Tooru!” you whimper at feeling your stomach fill with heat, “Please! I’m… I’m gonna cum!”

You expect to feel your body succumb to the pleasure, but, upon hearing your words, he retreats from you completely and licks his lips. “So soon?” he questions in a manner that’s almost mocking. Chest heaving and glistening core still fully exposed to him, you watch him with dismay. “C’mon, I know you can last longer than that.”

Inadvertently, you clench your thighs together and complain, “Don’t tease me like that.”

Shooting you a devious smile, Oikawa rises to his feet once more and quips, “Whine all you want, baby; but I know you’ll be changing your tune when I make you cum harder than you ever have before.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, but you’re quick to regain your composure under his perceptive stare. “Quite a bold promise to make, considering you don’t have a single clue about my sex life, whatsoever,” is the comment that leaves your mouth in a grumble while you shift your position so that you’re sitting up on your knees. Intent on getting payback for being robbed of your orgasm at the last second, you reach for the belt holding his trousers up and task yourself with undoing it.

He chuckles wryly. “It’s not a promise—it’s a guarantee.” Your throat goes dry at his words and at the sight of his large cock when you free it from the restraint of his pants. “Besides,” he mentions, his voice taking on a low tone that has you looking up at him as you lean forward onto your elbows, so your mouth is level with the leaking tip of his erection, “it doesn’t matter who you’ve been with before. You’ll forget them all after tonight.”

With that statement made, he eases his hips forward as you open your mouth invitingly so he can slide his cock along your tongue. A gentle groan rumbles in his chest when you close your mouth around him and move further down his shaft at a painstakingly slow pace until the tip is nudging your throat. You don’t intend to keep him there, but you want to tease him with the sensation just enough to make him lose a bit of that cool composure of his. Spurred on by his gentle sounds of pleasure and the look of fascination he’s regarding you with, you bob your head along the length of his shaft, dragging his tongue beneath it in long, deep strokes.

“Fuck, (f/n), that feels good,” he hisses, gaze wavering as he struggles to keep his eyes from rolling back at how good your mouth feels enveloping his cock. A gentle hum of appreciation you let out in response to his compliment has him thrusting into your mouth in an effort to feel the vibrations along every inch of his length. The slightly bitter taste of his precum catches on your tastebuds when you swirl your tongue around his throbbing head. “So fucking good.”

Your needy pussy clenches around nothing at his praise, and you moan teasingly while picking up the pace, taking him closer and closer to your throat with each thrust. His hand comes down to brush a few strands of your hair away from your face in a surprisingly tender gesture before his fingers clench around them to keep one of his hands occupied. The other rests on the bedside table nearby, fingertips turning white beneath the pressure he’s applying against the hard wood.

Though it’s clear he’s enjoying every moment of this with the way his cock twitches appreciatively in your mouth, the last thing he wants is to finish before he’s taken care of you. “On your back, princess,” he commands, his voice gruffer than usual as he indicates he wants you to stop by tugging your hair in the opposite direction to his body. Obediently, you let him slide his cock out of your mouth and fall back onto the bed, spreading your legs wide open so he can see just how ready you are for him. Your core has been ablaze with yearning for too long for you to be shy now.

The shadow his body creates in the soft light falls over yours when he crawls onto the bed and hovers over you. The desire to be closer to him that hasn’t left since the moment you first saw him resurfaces once again, prompting you to throw your arms around his shoulders so you can unite your bare torsos. His lips dive down towards yours once more, pressing passionate kisses against them that—in combination with the feeling of his cock pressing against your clit—have you moaning into his mouth. Your fingers pressing into the muscles along his back indicate your desperation to have him inside of you, so he obliges; plunging into your warm, velvety core as he takes his lower lip between your teeth.

A wanton mewl escapes your lips at feeling so, delightfully full, and you wrap your legs around his back, adjusting your hips so he can reach deeper inside of you. The stretch is somewhat painful at first, but every sensation you feel quickly melts into pleasure when he begins thrusting into you slowly and gently. Soon, it feels too slow and too gentle, and every nerve ending in your body is screaming for more. “Faster!” you cry as he nudges your head to the side so he can litter the tender skin on your neck with love bites.

He listens and indulges you, but not for long. Each time he hears your breathing become more erratic and feels you clench around him tightly, he eases off, ignoring the whimpers and complaints that leave your mouth at each orgasm he prevents you from reaching. As he teases you with shallow thrusts or riles you up even further by pulling out of you, he moves his head down to your chest so he can take one of your pert nipples in his mouth while his fingers pinch the other.

“Tooru, please. Please, let me cum!” you find yourself begging after being edged to what you feel is damn near the point of insanity with how little you can focus on anything else aside from chasing the high he keeps within inches of you. You open your eyes to give him a look of longing that you hope is enough to convince him to finally finish you off.

“Don’t worry,” he breathes, sending a wave of fresh goosebumps along your skin glistening with sweat, “I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard.” The sound of his gentle voice transforming into a low growl dripping with lust fills your entire stomach with heat. “Turn over.” His hands on your waist help you flip onto your stomach and bring your hips up into the air as he kneels behind you to position himself at your entrance.

In one, swift motion, he pushes the entirety of his length back inside of you, making you cry out at the feeling of every ridge and vein in his dick dragging along your hypersensitive walls. The plush duvet and high thread count sheets muffle your screams of pleasure enough to keep them confined to his hotel room alone as he pounds into you mercilessly, sending your body charging towards what you hope is the release you’ll finally be able to experience. With all the pressure that’s building up inside of you, you can hardly withstand the pleasure overwhelming your senses.

A few more thrusts that target your most sensitive spot have you finally toppling over the edge of your orgasm, and warm waves of ecstasy crash over you as your body shakes and stars fill the edges of your vision. Your pussy spasming erratically around his cock has Oikawa snapping his hips against yours at a maddening speed until he’s filling your core up with the warmth of his release. He moans loudly between the praises and expletives that roll off his tongue as you ride out your highs together. Though you hate to admit it, he had been right—while merciless, his edging had intensified your pleasure in the end.

The strength of your orgasm leaves you unable to do anything else aside from flop onto the mattress and let your eyelids flutter shut while you regain your breath after Oikawa pulls out of you. The bed shifts beside you as he lies down at your side, taking a minute to steady his own breathing as he runs his hand along your back gently. There’s a few, long moments of silence that fill the warm air of the hotel room before a gentle chuckle from your mouth permeates it. Without speaking, he knows exactly what the source of your amusement is, and he ends up snickering as well.

“You really do say some of the corniest shit, baby,” you remark, amusement glimmering in your eyes when they find his after you roll onto your side to face him, “But I guess you’re a decent actor. Just don’t go quitting your day job, now.”

He grumbles and nuzzles your chin playfully, pressing a kiss against your jaw before pulling away and defending, “Oh, come on. You have to admit that at least some of the things I said were pretty hot.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

His arms snake around your body to pull you against his chest. In one ear, you can hear the sound of his strong heartbeat, and, in the other, you can hear him answer, “Like the whole using roulette as a gamble to win my room key instead of just money situation. C’mon. You liked that. I know you did—I saw your eyes practically burning with desire at that point.”

“Mm? And how do you know I wasn’t just acting as well?” you retort, throwing one of your legs over his and shifting your position so you can see the face of mock irritation you know he’s making at you. Sure enough, his eyes are narrowed, and his lips pursed as he squeezes them shut. After planting a kiss against his lips, you reassure him, “I enjoyed it. You’re very creative, as always, my love.”

“So all the money we spent on this little sexcapade, so to speak, of ours was worth it, then?” His hand on the back of your head keeps your faces within close proximity as he gazes into your eyes expectantly.

With a nod, you answer, “It was. But, any time we get to spend together is always worth it.”

A gentle smile forms on his lips to mirror your own, and his nose brushes against yours when he brings you closer to another kiss. This one’s deeper and more sensual than the last, and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. “I love you so much, (f/n).”

“I love you too, Tooru.” The two of you take some time to bask in your mutual and deep feelings of adoration with your foreheads pressed together and hands tracing over each other’s features before you speak again. “Now, how are we gonna be able to top this roleplay, huh?

That very familiar, devious grin of his returns to his mouth as he answers, “Oh, don’t worry, baby girl, I have plenty of other ideas.”

treat me to a coffee! ⭐︎ kinktober masterlist

taglists (see pinned post on my blog for form)

general: @dinablossom, @newfriendjen​, @devlovesramen, @ohbyunhunn, @aftcrlust, @mister-future, @kyleclxin​, @kac-chowsballs​, @osamusmiya​, @nit-sir-hc​, @arixtsukki​

oikawa: @why-aminot-dead​​, @lotsoffandomrecs​, @atsunakaashi​, @heyhinata​, @cuddlysoftbear​

[whyralltheusernamestaken]

S/O who likes to pick up shells

h/cs for bakugou with a s/o who always picks up shells from the beach when they go? and maybe on the class trip they make him a necklace with a super pretty shell on it

A/N : asdfghkl i hope you like it heehee

words : 1,279

Bakugou x reader

~~~

Sure Bakugou had never gone to the beach with you before, but he had a good idea of how much you loved the sea. 

He had come over to your house one day and nothing could’ve prepared him for the aquarium that was your room. 

The desk and shelves were littered with shells of all sizes, a fish tank sat next to the door and he had seen a good few chains of shell necklaces strewn across your bed. 

“Are you trying to become a fish?” he remarked, closing the door before picking up a few small shells on the floor and placing them on your desk, not wanting to accidentally step on them. He cared too much about you 

After the intial shock ebbed away, he grew to like some small features in your room, like how your light casted a dim blue against the ceiling and the photos of you laughing and playing in the sea. 

Bakugou had the perfect idea of where to go once the second year of school had finished, telling you it was none of your business before booking a hotel close to the sea. He wasn’t a huge fan of the satly water, given his quirk was explosions and much more fire based, yet he was willing to spend a few days with his S/O if it made you happy. Truely whipped

His friends had teased him to no end, him cursing at them at lunch on the last few days as you watched humorously from another table, eating away at your food. 

Your weekend getaway went better than expected, having close to no hiccups anywhere. Bakugou had managed to keep his temper down, now having over 2 years of his friends helping him release his frustration in different way, not that he was frustrated with you, perhaps more so the strangers who eyes lingered on you for a few more seconds than he liked. 

The only slight inconvience in his plans was your damn shell collecting hobby. You had nearly missed your hotel’s dinner slot as you spent the entire evening picking up shells. Bakugou still hadn’t understood why you took such a liking to them, they looked exactly the same, just like the next one over. 

But instead of complaining, he let you pick as many to your heart’s delight, training his quirk in the sea and rocks next to it, accidently blowing a few to pieces. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have let you pick so many. Two tote bags full? Where on earth were you finding these, he didn’t even realise there were that many on the beach to begin with. Still he carried the bags for you, watching as you ran up to the hotel in glee, waving your arms at the fairy lights and then the purple sky. 

Back at home, you framed a photo of you and Bakugou at the beach together, hanging a small shell bracelet on the corner of the decorated silver photo frame, before stepping back and admiring your desk. 

It was nearly the end of the third year at school. A school trip was more than certainly deserved. 

It was only a few hours bus ride to the beachside village, Bakugou grabbing both of their suitcases before following Aizawa. He was slightly dreading the day to the beach, knowing how some of the boys in his class where like, mostly just Denki since Mineta’s been replaced by my favourite boy Shinsou, he would be sure to bring along an extra hoodie and scare Denki into not teasing you.

Everyone had run off to do their own things once the class arrived, Kirishima dragging him off to play volleyball as you went with Tsuyu to explore the cliff area by the sea. 

You had only climbed a few steps when you misplaced your foot and slipped right into the water. 

Tsuyu had immediately reached her tongue in after you, finding your body after a few moments and lifting you back into the air as you turned to her in glee. 

“Look what I found!” you grinned, showing her a red tinted scallop shell, her placing you back onto the rocks as you squeezed some water out of your hair.

“Please be careful.” she said, before giving you a thumbs up at your excitement of the shell. 

“It matches Katsuki’s aesthetic.” you nodded to yourself, placing the shell carefully in your bucket and placing it far away from the tide. “Alright, let’s find some pretty shells.” you stated, Tsuyu gladly joining you. 

It was close to lunch time when you had manage to find the perfect shells. The red shell would be the center piece, adorned by two halves of a dark green coquina clam on either side and then the rest being coffee bean trivia shells. You began threading everything as everyone began to gather for lunch, Bakugou automatically making his way to you.

When he called out to you, you quickly shoved the necklace behind you, him raising his eyebrow as you looked up at him.

“What you hiding?” he asked, rolling his eyes as he pulled you to your feet. “It better not be another two bags full of shells.”

“No no, it’s better!” you answered, tugging him along to the class’s picnic before he could ask anymore questions. As much as you sitting with him, it would mean having to put his surprise present on pause, making you pout a little as he passed you a sandwich.

Returning to the lodging area, you rushed off to your room, telling him a quick ‘night’ and a hug before you disappeared for the rest of the night. 

Bakugou was beyond confused, you had been acting a little restless the entire afternoon, but his friends reassured him.

You were working late into the night when you finally finished it. A long, single loop necklace made from some natural thread and sea shells that matched your boyfriend’s colour pallete. You were beyong happy with the outcome, tucking it gently into a small gift bag before turning off the lamp and wishing Tsuyu goodnight, despite her being sound asleep already.

You woke up early the next day, exhilarated to see Bakugou, knocking on his door early as the rest of the class woke up for breakfast. 

“Morning.” he grumbled, walking down the corridor towards you instead of being in his room.

“You woke up early.” you said, grinning as you stepped aside so he could go back into his room. He unlocked the door, quickly grabbing his hoodie before closing the door again. 

“Yeah, might as well go for a morning jog.” he answered. “Give my your hand.” he demanded, placing a small object onto your palm before walking towards the dining area. 

“Oh my god.” you gasped. “It’s so pretty.” You ran after him, loopng your arm around his as you held up the iridescent shell to the hallway lights.

“Yeah yeah, found it outside and thought some shell maniac might like it.”

“Well this shell maniac absolutley adores it.” you replied. “Oh, we can have matching necklaces! I still have a few trivia shells left.” you said to yourself. “Since we’re doing the gift exhange so early, let me grab yours.” you said, rushing off further along the coridor and entering your room, picking up the small silk gift bag before locking the door behind you.

“Here!” you said, stretching your arms out in front of you as he picks the bag from your hands.

You watched in anticipation as he got out the necklace, his face scrunching up in a smile. 

“Thanks.” he said softly, pulling you in as he ruffled your hair. 

“Hey, come on, let go of me! Katsuki my hair!” you shouted as he refused to let go. 

[terrifictomholland]

hii I couldn’t find the prompt list sorry!! but I was wondering if you can do something where Tom and the reader are the best man/maid of honour for their friends’ wedding, and they’ve kind of had a crush on one another ever since the wedding planning began, and on wedding night they finally hookup

I have no excuse for the amount of time it’s taken me to write this and I can only apologise for that - but I do hope you enjoy this. I’m quite pleased at the level of softness this is. 

THIS CONTAINS SMUT! +18 PLEASE It was mayhem. Utter and complete mayhem.

Your childhood best friend was getting married and you were of course, the maid of honour. 

So that meant you had it up to your neck with numerous responsibilities. Luckily, or unluckily - depending on how you viewed it, you got to share those responsibilities with the man of honour.

Tom.

There he stood in all his glory. 

Holding a hand over his stomach as he laughed with Harrison and the sound was music to your ears. It sounded so hearty and infectious that you couldn’t help your own smile. 

“Alright, let’s call it for tonight!” The bride-to-be Anna said, clapping her hands together to get everyone's attention. You let out a sigh of relief at the prospect of getting to put your feet up and enjoy a glass of wine in your hotel room by yourself. Maybe watch some series on your laptop. 

“What are your plans?” Tom sidled up next to you. 

The close proximity of his body was making you short circuit. Your heart started to beat loudly in your chest, hot flashes broke out all over your body and your throat went dry.

Being close to Tom was making you react in a way you’d never experienced before. 

“My plans?” You repeated seeing his megawatt smile take over his face giving you a nod. “Oh uhm, probably go back to my hotel room and have a cheeky glass of wine, catch up on some series. Why?” 

He made a ‘pft’ noise at that, “Have a glass of wine with me instead.” The moment he said those words your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. 

“Huh?” 

“Have a drink with me,” He repeated once more for you, this time slower. 

“As in a date?” Tom’s cheeks darkened when you asked that and he opened his mouth and closed it a few times. 

“I uh, I mean - I, sure!” He stuttered and you bit your bottom lip feeling your chest tighten and a bunch of butterflies erupted in your stomach. 

“Alright,” You spoke softly, giving him a timid and shy smile. 

“For real?” His voice pitched higher making you giggle. He cleared his throat in embarrassment.

“Wanna head out now?” 

“Lead the way Holland,” 

++++

Instead of going to your hotel room, the two of you wound up at an empty beach, a cheap wine bottle going back and forth between you both as you sat in the lifeguard tower, both of you sitting right next to each other.  Overlooking the sea as the sun set, making the sea look as though it sparkled against the fading sun. It was magical.

“It’s breathtaking,” You breathed, staring at the sunset completely transfixed at all of the different colours and hues that was painted across the sky. 

“It really is,” What you didn’t notice was Tom looking at you while he uttered those words. At least, not until you felt his fingers brush aside a piece of your hair from your face. You swallowed thickly, turning to look at him seeing the shy smile on his face. His cheeks were dusted in pink as he tucked your hair behind your ear, fingers gently caressing your cheek and you melted to the touch, eyes falling shut.

“You are so beautiful,” He spoke the words so softly, so sincerely it made it hard for you to breathe properly as your eyes opened again. You felt intoxicated and it had nothing to do with the wine, it was all Tom and the effect he had on you.

“Can I kiss you?” 

All you could do was smile and place your hand on his cheek moving even closer to him. Your eyes moving down to his lips seeing him lick them and you did the same before he grabbed your face in his hands. His breath falling over your face making shivers run up your spine.

What happened next felt like something out of a fairytale. 

His thin, chapped lips pressed against yours hesitantly before you kissed him back. He got his confidence back and began kissing you more insistently - his hand moving from your face to your waist to pull you in closer and you threaded a hand in his hair keeping him close. 

His tongue swiped across your lower lip and you parted them, feeling him capture your lip and suck on it. Which was enough to make you let out a sigh against his lips and you felt your stomach clench. 

Your tongues met and you let out a quiet whimper tasting the wine and spearmint on his tongue, sucking on it gently hearing him let out a noise from the back of his throat and it was addictive to hear him. You two stayed like that for a good twenty minutes, just exploring and familiarizing each other's mouths.

Eventually, you both pulled away, sharing a few pecks and keeping your foreheads together. You giggled at the sight of his swollen lips and glazed eyes and mussed up hair. He had never looked more stunning.

“Thanks,” He grinned bashfully, cheeks tinting.

“Did I say that out loud?” You whined, making him laugh as he nodded.

He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, “For the record, you’re just as stunning too,” 

++++

Following the date by the lifeguard tower, you and Tom spent as much time as you could during the rest of the wedding rehearsals and all of the planning. Dividing and sharing the responsibilities equal so that it didn’t get too overwhelming for the other. You were after all, the maid of honour and best man so you had similar tasks. 

Today however, you were busy as a bee seeing as how it was the wedding and everything needed to go as smoothly as possible. And up until now, it had - you were next in line to walk down the aisle before the bride was due to walk down. 

You felt butterflies dancing in your belly because you knew that at the end of the aisle would be where Tom stood. And on a slightly selfish train of thought - you were pretending it was yours and Tom’s wedding and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction when you came down. 

It was your turn and you took a deep breath before you walked down, smiling at the guests and taking care not to stumble - you were very much prone to trip over your own feet. You didn’t need that humiliation today, so each step was carefully planned. 

You looked up when you got close enough and your breath got caught in your throat seeing Tom standing there in his tux and hair gelled back looking like a dream come true. 

In true fashion to yourself, you winked at him and his shoulders shook with silent laughter when he saw you do that. He winked right back making you grin as you took your place opposite of him, holding your bouquet. 

As soon as the music started playing and Harrison saw Anna come walking down the aisle, everything turned to a blur for you. Tears welling up in your eyes at the beautiful and loving ceremony between two people so perfect for each other. Everything was like a fairytale, the vows, the rings, the kiss. Later on at the reception, it was just as immaculate and beautiful and perfect. 

“May I have this dance?” Tom snuck up behind you with his hand extended to you and you beamed, taking it. He twirled you once before bringing you in, his hand on your waist and the other holding your hand as you leaned your head on his shoulder. Feeling so safe and content in his arms to let him lead.

“What a day,” He murmured in your ear and you grinned feeling the soft kiss he placed on your temple.

“It’s been one of the best days of my life - just look at them, they’re so happy,” You gushed glancing at the happy couple who also shared a dance together. Laughing and kissing, it filled you with so much happiness to see the way they looked at each other so in love. 

“I’m so happy they found each other,” Tom agreed and you looked up at him, seeing him watch his best friend with nothing but joy and warmth.

“I am too,” You smiled, reaching up to place a kiss on his cheek. Tom turned to you and leaned down giving you a proper kiss. 

“Missed you today,” He mumbled between pecks,

“God you’re a sweet talker,” You flushed and he grinned, “It’s working in other words,”

“Oh it most certainly is,” 

“Enough for you to want to sneak out of here with me?” He left the question open-ended and you felt your stomach clench at what he was prompting. 

“Can we go now?” Your face was burning at how eager you sounded and he picked up on it. His hands rubbed your waist and he let out a laugh nodding.

“I think we can get out of here rather unnoticed, but we probably should tell Haz and Anna,” He suggested. 

It was an easy conversation to have, wishing them the best on their honeymoon before the two of you ducked out. 

Once in Tom’s hotel suite you lost a bit of your nerve. You both felt the energy crackle in the dimmed room. Tom took a seat on the edge of the bed and you toed off your heels before walking over so that you stood between his legs. 

His hands came to rest on your hips and you ran a hand through his soft hair, messing up the carefully made hairstyle he had for the entirety of the wedding.

You smiled seeing his eyes close when you raked your fingers through his hair. He ran his fingers up and down the sides of your dress, lifting it up higher and higher, exposing more skin.

“Take it off,” You whispered. He smiled stripping you out of the dress leaving you in your strapless bra and lace thong.

 “Lay down on the bed,” He murmured and you gulped, getting on the bed, laying down on your back and feeling yourself melt against the soft mattress that shaped itself to you. You watched Tom lift your leg up, caressing it and trailed kisses from your ankle all the way up to your thigh and then giving your other leg the same treatment. 

“Oh Tom,” You breathed feeling your heart trying to escape from the tenderness of his touches and caresses. 

“You deserve to feel worshipped,” Was all he said and you felt tears prickle in your eyes at the sweet words and how genuine he sounded. Like you were his everything, that nothing but you mattered. 

“Come here, let me kiss you,” You choked out sitting up slightly and he crawled up beside you, immediately kissing you and pouring all of himself into that kiss. 

You wrapped both of your arms around his neck bringing him down on you, needing to feel his body against your own. You had no idea how much time passed but after a while, you wanted more. 

“Take your clothes off,” You murmured once his lips were attached to your neck and you let out a moan feeling him suck on the skin there. He sat up and removed his clothes in a hurry and you flushed seeing his chiseled body and his beautiful cock curving up toward his tummy.

You reached out and touched him, wrapping a hand around him and he let out a groan.

“You’re so beautiful,” You told him, looking into his eyes and you saw his lips part and he gave you an emotional smile.

“You are too,” He breathed sucking his lip between his teeth as you worked him up even more, hearing the curses and grunts tumble out of his mouth.

“I just want you to feel good,” You smiled seeing his head fall back in pleasure, “Fuck, you do,” His breath getting caught in his throat.

“Can I touch you too?” He cracked his eyes open and you nodded, spreading your legs and he smiled stroking your inner thighs at first and your eyes never left him as you jerked him off. 

You let out a gasp feeling him rub your core through your panties and you bit your lip when he felt just how wet you were already.

“All for me?” He asked incredulously and you nodded shyly. 

“Take them off,” You urged helping him by lifting your hips. In one swift motion he slipped your panties off and you spread your legs for him once again. 

Your hips jolted forward when you felt him rub your sensitive clit for the first time and a quiet moan fell from your lips at the sensation. It had been so long since you’d been touched like this, and Tom was well on his way to figure out exactly what you liked.

“Slip them inside,” You gasped only feeling yourself getting more and more wet the more he circled your clit, trying different speeds and pressures on it. 

You choked on your breath when he eased his finger inside, filling you up and dragging it against your warm and tight walls. Your eyes crossed when he fucked his finger deep, curling it to reach your g-spot and you let out a cry.

“G-god,” You stuttered feeling the air get knocked out of your chest when he slipped another finger inside, stretching you out. You removed your hand from his cock, licking a stripe on your palm and then wrapping your hand around it again. Your hand working him faster the more he worked you up too. 

Both of your moans and groans filled the room as you both got inevitably closer and closer to the edge.

“I, oh god - want you inside me now,” You sighed throwing your head back. 

“Yeah? You ready?” 

“So ready,” You nodded enthusiastically. He got off you and the bed, retrieving his pants and pulling out a condom. 

“Well someone’s prepared, did you bank on getting lucky tonight?” You giggled watching him rip the foil package and fist himself a few times before rolling the condom on.

He let out a quiet laugh, “Well, you can’t blame a guy for hoping,” 

“No, no I can’t babe,” You smiled when he got situated on top of you and he ran his cock along your folds and you felt anticipation roll through you when he started pushing in. 

“Let me know if you need a sec, yeah?” 

You kissed him, “I will,” You reassured against his lips as he bottomed out, staying still for a few moments and you slowly relaxed around him. 

The pleasure was starting to gradually build and you wrapped your legs around his waist driving him deeper inside causing both of your moans to mingle together. 

“You feel fucking heavenly,” He grunted before he dove in and kissed you passionately, building up a pace that made you squeeze down on him, loving the way he was filling you up.

“Oh fuck Tom,” You gasped into his mouth when his cock nudged your gspot making your head hazy. 

Spots of white hot pleasure popped up and you felt your cunt clench all around Tom. He moaned loudly when you did and your climax was building up again from earlier. 

The warm and tingly sensations growing stronger with each thrust he gave.

“Feel so fucking big inside me,” 

“You were made to take my cock darling,” He leaned down sucking your nipple into his mouth and you let out a scream when he did that.

“Harder! Fuck me harder,” You gritted out trying to chase the high of your pleasure, moving your hips in sync with him to take him deeper. 

Your movements turning more frantic the closer you got and he could tell. 

He reached a hand down rubbing your clit fast and hard and you cried his name as the pleasure took over. 

Your body arched and toes curled as your orgasm ripped through you. Your insides liquefying and warmth coursed through as he fucked you through your orgasm, which set off his impending one. He came shouting your name, panting heavily on top of you whilst still pistoning his hips inside of you so that you both could ride out your highs together. 

You caught him and wrapped both arms around his sweaty body, his heart racing and you placed gentle kisses all over his temple and wherever else you could reach.

“You’re fucking incredible,” You smiled dopily at him once he got enough strength to roll off of you. He chuckled breathlessly and discarded the condom, making a jump shot to the bin and you rolled your eyes.

“Oiii that’s a three pointer!” He smirked and you snorted cuddling up to him, nuzzling your face in his neck.

“For the record, you’re fucking incredible too and even more incredible to fuck,” 

“Oh the fucking cheek of you!” You gasped before you both wound up in fits of giggles.

[reina-morada]

1-4 💞

Just going to repost 1 and 3 here even though I already answered them!

1. A saint that influenced you either by their life or writings?

Ohhh there’s really so many, but my top saint would probably be Juana Inés de La Cruz. I absolutely adore her poetry. Secondly I would say, Teresa of Ávila. The Interior Castle is a classic.

Additionally for this ask, Julian of Norwich.

2. Favorite places to pray?

Anywhere outside, especially during dawn or desk. Allah is never closer to me than when I'm in the midst of a gorgeous sunset. Every day he paints them new for me, it's so humbling and exciting. I'm really in love with him when he does that.

3. What is one of the devotions you have?

From the last post: Precious Blood of Jesus, the Holy Wounds, the Seven Sorrows of Mary, the Stations of the Cross (+Marian Stations), and the Sacred Heart.

4. Tell us about a divine experience.

This one is long so here's a cut!

I had my dark night of the soul in Palestine. That morning, we had attended an outdoor mass led by our priest in a field in Bethlehem. It was sunny and breezy that day. It was so beautiful. The wind reminds me of Allah, and reminds me of his presence in my life. I sent lots of dua through the wind to him in gratitude. After years of dreaming, I was there to see these places I'd read about in person. We explored the Church of the Nativity and had lunch, then walked some. The next day, we were planning to visit the Dome of the Rock. As a revert, I was very scared about being rejected at the entrance, because they ask you to recite Surah al-Fatihah or Ayat al-kursi to prove you're Muslim and I still wasn't confident in my ability to do it.

Our final activity of the day was the Holocaust Museum in the city. It's very much like a maze, and you have to walk through it all to really get out. In the few hours we spent there, I had been drained of all hope for humanity. To see the horrors and the evil we possess in us so clearly shook me to my core. It was even worse seeing the propaganda at the end, knowing that so much rhetoric has been used to justify abuse against Palestinian citizens. There were many things that horrified me while I was there, and I knew that God was not real. If he was, we'd been abandoned easily. How could evil like this find its way into the world, if God was real? By the time we exited the museum, the sky was dark, and a storm was rolling in. Exactly how I felt inside.

That night, everyone went to dinner without me. I didn't let anyone know what was going on, but I just couldn't go out and save face while my core had been rocked. Everyone else on the trip was there for fun and as tourists, but I had seen it as religious pilgrimage that had ended up with no purpose at all. I stayed in my hotel room crying about the realization while the storm ranged on outside. Cried and cried all night, thinking that my four years of getting a theology degree had been for nothing.

Eventually, the storm calmed, and I was exhausted. In the brief moments of stillness, I sat and waited as the wind died down, then fell asleep. It was our first night in that particular hotel, so I didn't realize it was next to a mosque. Before dawn, the call to prayer sounded from the tower of the masjid. I opened my eyes in the darkness and listened. Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar. I got up. I went to my bathroom to make wudu and I prayed salah. In the silence after, I realized that the shaitan had come at me with the ultimate test: to stop me from entering and praying in a masjid where one prayer was worth ten thousand. I had finally gotten so close, traveled across seas to meet my Lord here (still significant for me as a life-long Catholic), and abandoning hope was what the Shaitan had wanted. Later that day, I prayed inside the Al-Aqsa mosque and the Dome of the Rock. And it was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen.

So yeah, long interfaith story but- divine experiences aren't always supernatural. For me, it was a crisis of faith fought through that was divine. Choosing hope and love, always in the face of despair.

[little-red-beret]

Hey gang I made a Promare fic if anyone has seen that! It’s my obsession atm so here ya go:

Galo Thymos woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs drifting through the loft and smiled. Today was a special day, and he was already being surprised. He wandered into the kitchen to find Lio in a loose shirt and boxers holding a frypan over a hand omitting a small blossom of pink flames. Lio glanced up from his cooking and a small smile spread across his face.

“Is our stove broken?” Galo asked.

“I haven’t been using my flames enough, they’re getting restless.” Lio explained.

They sat together at the dining table, eating at a leisurely pace with no job to be at all weekend. The only place they had to be was at an island resort much later in the day for a long awaited holiday.

“Have you finished packing?” Lio checked.

“Are you kidding, I finished that last night!” Galo answered as he passionately devoured Lio’s cooking.

“No, you haven’t, your swimsuit was still in the draw this morning.” Lio pointed out.

“Right!” Galo noted. “This is going to be so fun! We’ll go swimming! In the sea! And we’ll play volleyball on the beach! And we’ll eat so much food! There’s a couples’ dance class at the resort, too!”

“Can you even dance?”

“Wanna see?”

“No, you’ll hurt my eyes.”

Galo grabbed a pillow off a couch close behind him and threw it at Lio’s head.

They finished packing and set off after breakfast, Galo in a straw hat and colourful button up shirt, Lio in his usual all-black getup. The bus trip to the ferry terminal was sunny and Galo was buzzing with excitement. He and Lio rested their heads on each other’s shoulders, staring contently out the window. The ferry terminal was like another world. Lio squinted against the wind that blew his hair in his face. The waves were capped with foam, and clouds lined the horizon.

“Did you check the weather before you planned this trip?” Lio asked, staring apprehensively at the port.

“No, why would I?” Galo shrugged. Lio took out his phone and opened the weather app. Whatever he saw caused him to literally burst into flames. Travellers around them screamed and hurried to put space between them. Somewhere in the terminal a child started crying.

“It says there are storms all weekend, you idiot!” Lio cried, showing Galo the neat row of lightning symbols on his phone.

“Cool it, firebug!” Galo whispered, glancing around nervously. “It’s just a little surprise! Besides, weather reports are never accurate, anyway!”

“You really don’t think ahead, huh.” Lio muttered bitterly, taking a deep breath and vanishing the fire.

“It’ll be fun, I promise! You know I’ll always find a way to make things fun!”

Lio glared at his lover, but the longer he glared, the harder it got to suppress the smile breaking out across his face.

“Let’s get going, then.” He took Galo’s hand and they continued towards the ferry.

The ferry ride was terribly rough. Galo marvelled at the view from the railing the entire time, eyes glued to the sea.

“Look at that wave!” He exclaimed, just as he had for every other wave. “Ooh, that one is like ‘whoosh’!” He wiggled his hands about in imitation. Lio was resting his head on the railing beside him instead of actually looking. “Are you good, Lio?”

Lio uttered a tiny moan as a response.

“Are you getting seasick?” Galo fretted, lightly placing a hand on his back. Lio nodded against the railing.

“Honestly, I don’t do well with motion....” he muttered weakly.

“It’s okay, we’ll be there soon!” Galo assured him, watching the overcast island in the distance.

Lio didn’t speak a single word after Galo’s reassurances, nor did he move. The clouds only got darker and the waves taller as they neared the island. Galo put a hand over Lio’s and felt how tightly it gripped the railing. He kept his hand there to ground him and continued his ongoing ocean commentary on the view Lio was missing.

When the boat docked, Lio finally straightened, looking incredibly pale and delicate.

“You really don’t look like you’re hanging in there...” Galo worried, squeezing his lover’s hand tightly.

“I’ll be fine, I just need to lie down for a bit when we get to the hotel.” Lio insisted bravely.

The second they stepped off the ferry, it began to pour rain. Galo burst into laughter at their misfortune.

“Now you look stupid in your beach outfit.” Lio remarked wryly, and Galo laughed even harder. Lio smiled weakly and snuggled into Galo’s arm. They walked quickly to a taxi queue, eager to escape the rain as soon as possible.

Much to Galo’s horror, the taxi took them swerving through a windy mountain range where they could barely see through the heavy rain. He helplessly watched Lio’s complexion begin to match his hair as their journey progressed. Every few minutes he offered hushed reassurances that they were almost there, stroking Lio’s hand with his thumb. Lio’s hand began to tremble beneath his as they were pulling into the grand driveway of the resort.

They were dropped off and elegantly suited doormen took their suitcases for them. Galo stared at the luxurious decor in awe. The staircase leading into the hotel was marble topped with a red carpet. Gold accents lined the doors and windows. Then Lio tore away to the nearby gardens, collapsing next to a rose bush in the rain.

“Oh, no...” Galo muttered. Lio sat there rigidly with a hand pressed to his mouth. “I’ll get us checked in!” He called, figuring it would make Lio’s life easier and that he would still be there when he got back.

Sure enough, Lio was still kneeling by the rose bush every time Galo glanced out the panoramic reception window while he waited in the queue. Even after they were checked in and Galo had been handed the key card, Lio still hadn’t moved. Galo stood by the window and watched in concern as Lio sat there getting drenched by the rain. He noticed a woman in a white sundress a metre from him staring wistfully at the miserable weather. Evidently, he wasn’t the only one who didn’t believe in reading weather reports.

“Great beach weather, huh!” Galo joked, always eager to lighten the mood.

“I have a boyfriend.” The woman responded flatly.

“Me too!” Galo beamed, pointing to the small man kneeling in the garden. “He’s about to throw up.” Right on cue, Lio’s back arched and he produced a vile torrent of sick. “Oop, that’s my cue to leave!”

Galo joined Lio in the rain, dashing over to make sure he was okay.

“Poor sweetie!” He cried, crouching in the wet grass beside his lover. Lio was shaking violently on all fours. Galo patted his back as he brought up another stream of sick, retching loudly. They were fortunate that the rain softened the awful process a bit, muffling the sounds and washing away the mess as it was made. “That’s the way, get it all up, Lio!”

Lio belched and heaved up the last of his breakfast. He convulsed and gagged helplessly as his stomach continued trying to rid itself of its perceived poison.

“Good job!” Galo encouraged. After endlessly gagging for a few more minutes, Lio finally sat back on his heels, letting the rain pour down his face for a moment. Then he slumped against Galo and buried his face in his shoulder. Galo took him into his arms. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re good.” Lio trembled in his arms. Whether it was from the vomiting or if he was crying, he wasn’t sure, but he held him all the same. “Poor baby!” he cooed.

Eventually, Galo convinced Lio to come inside. They dripped trails of water all the way to their hotel room, shivering and worn out from the cold in each other’s arms. They changed into dry clothes, and then Lio ignited pink flames in his palms.

“Lio, not here, you’ll set off the smoke alarms!” Galo scolded.

“It’s warm.” Lio defended.

Galo sat against the headboard of the queen sized bed and opened his arms. “You know what else is warm?” he prompted. Lio let the flames flare up for a moment, but ultimately chose to climb into Galo’s arms and snuggle against him.

“How are you feeling?” Galo asked, resting his chin on top of Lio’s damp hair.

“A lot better, but I need a nap.” he mumbled into Galo’s chest.

“We can take a nap together!” Galo declared.

“Sounds fun...”

Galo stroked his hair tenderly.

“Of all the people to be stuck indoors with, I’m glad it’s you... idiot...” Lio murmured, setting his heart ablaze once again. On second thought, everything Lio did made him glow inside several times per day.

“Me too.” Galo said, enjoying the rare moment of profoundness from his normally shy lover. They spent that afternoon nestled together and fell asleep to the sound of the rain.

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 11 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: So I really struggled writing Chapter 10...Chapter 11 however...took me like two days. So yeah...uh characters are still in Iceland, Days 3 and 4 sightseeing will be posted following this. As always all posts for this series can be found by searching the tag ‘038’ on my blog. Let me know what you think. 

Gif Credit: @j-compher​

Warnings: cursing, oral sex, smut, unprotected (on birth control but no condom) smut

Word Count: 3,819

~~~~~~

If you’d thought day two of your trip had involved a lot of driving, you were in for a rude awakening moving forward.

The morning of your third day in Iceland, you and Cale had slept in until around 8 am before getting up, heading down to breakfast, packing up and then checking out of the hotel. Before leaving Reykjavik, you stopped at a market to stock up on some drinks and snacks, then a gas station for a refill before finally hitting the road heading south.

After about an hour and 40 minute drive, you reached your first stop: Seljalandsfoss Waterfall. This waterfall was the perfect photo op because you could actually walk behind the falls. Taking some sillier but also sweet pictures, you continued on to another waterfall about a half hour away. From there, you stopped for lunch before Cale drove on to Dyrhólaey Nature Reserve.

The nature reserve was home to sea stacks and arches and the view from the upper trail was breathtaking. It had only been three days but already you were certain that Iceland was one of the most beautiful countries in the world.  After taking in the views from above, you headed to the lower trail and onto Reynisfjara beach.

There, black sand stretched in front of you as far as you could see. It was so different than any other beach you’d ever been on but it was honestly really, really cool. As cool as the sand was, the rock formations lining the beach were even cooler. After walking tucked into Cale’s side for a little bit you looked up at the cliffs to your left and immediately started freaking out. Jumping up and down, trying not to squeal, you tugged on Cale’s sleeve as if your previous actions hadn’t already gained his attention.

“What are you freaking out about?” Cale asked, mystified expression on his face.

“Puffins!” You squealed quietly, pure glee on your face. “They’re so cute!” The last thing you wanted to do was disturb the birds, but you were so excited to see them it was impossible to keep completely silent. Of course, you kept your distance, simply admiring them from afar.

Cale didn’t seem to know what to do with your reaction but he let you have your moment watching the birds, his lips pressed against the top of your head. As you headed back down the beach Cale rubbed his thumb against your side.

“I take you to see beautiful geological formations but it’s the birds you’re excited about.” He mused, shaking his head.

“Leave me alone.” You pouted. “You don’t just see puffins anywhere you know.” Lifting your chin, Cale kissed you softly.

“As long as you’re having fun and are excited about something I’m happy.” He insisted, his arm pulling you closer into his side.

It wasn’t a far drive to the village of Vik which Cale informed you was where you were staying for the night. Unlike yesterday where you had been going non-stop, not returning to your hotel until after 11pm, today you were already here and it was only late afternoon.

After checking into your hotel, you dropped off your bags and used the bathroom before heading into the village itself to park and walk around. Stopping into the tourist shop, you browsed around looking specifically at all of the locally made products. Eventually, you spotted a set of glass coasters made from the black sand of the beaches you’d just been on. Across the tops, various local scenes were painted. They were simple but beautiful and your fingers lingered across the tops of them.

“Those are nice.” Cale said, appearing over your shoulder suddenly.

“Yeah they are.” You agreed. Picking up two sets, Cale handed you one.

“We should get them. One for the house, one for my apartment.” Cale declared. “That way we both have something to remind us of this trip.”

“That’s really soft Cale.” You murmured.

“Don’t care.” He replied. Though you continued to look around, there wasn’t anything else that spoke to you as much as the set of coasters did and eventually you headed to the register to purchase them.

Walking around the village you took in how cute and quaint it was. Soon after your stomachs started complaining, you stumbled into a small restaurant. There you and Cale split a pizza with pesto for sauce, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, parma ham, topped with a balsamic glaze and parmesan cheese. It was delicious and you left feeling completely stuffed.

You’d called it an early night back at the hotel, settling for a movie on Netflix as you curled up together in bed. A relaxing evening was exactly what you needed to recharge and be ready to continue on your journey.

++

Day four of your trip started by filling up the gas tank and then embarking on an hour long drive to Fjaðrárgljúfur canyon.

Just before you reached the canyon, you encountered a small turn off which led you to a viewpoint. Climbing out of the car you walked up the pathway until you reached a platform. As far as the eye could see were moss covered rocks and it truly felt like you had stepped onto another planet.

“Are you sure we’re still on planet earth?” You whispered to Cale. Your boyfriend chuckled quietly in response, his hand resting on your hip. It seemed like the more time you spent alone together, not worried about who you saw or who saw you, the more reliant on physical touches each of you became. You’d never felt so comfortable just being with someone and thinking back on the times you’d seen Cale with Sara, you had a feeling the same could be said for him.

With more pictures clogging up your phones, you continued on to the Canyon itself. It was only a two-minute walk to the start of the canyon from the car and the moment you reached it your jaw dropped.

“Cale…” You whispered. You didn’t even have words to describe how beautiful this place was.

“Woah...sweetheart.” Cale’s thumbs brushed against your cheeks as he spoke and it wasn’t until he pulled you into his chest that you realized you were crying. “Shhh..give your brain a minute to process.” Cale assured you. His patience with you seemed neverending as his hands stroked your back until you finally calmed down.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, wiping frantically at your eyes when you finally pulled away.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Cale insisted. “You’re allowed to be emotionally effected by things. It’s normal. Especially when it’s something as amazing as this.” Cale’s lips pressed gently to your forehead and he dropped his hand from your back to lace your fingers together. “You good to go walk?” He questioned.

It took about 45 minutes to walk all the way up to the top of the canyon and back and you stopped for pictures at various points along the way. You still couldn’t put into words the way this place made you feel; it was all so overwhelming in the best way. As you stood off to the side of the first viewpoint, away from the majority of other tourists, you tugged Cale’s hand until he was close enough you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“Thank you.” You murmured, kissing him lightly. “You always know exactly what I need, you’re always putting me first and taking care of me. It doesn’t go unnoticed, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. You mean the world to me Cale...I don’t know if I’m quite as good at showing it as you are, but I hope you know that.”

“I do...know that…” Cale responded, kissing you again gently before pulling away, a fondness in his eyes that nearly sent you reeling. Dragging your fingers along his lower back you made up your mind to show him just how important he was to you once you were actually alone.

Back in the car, you munched on some of the snacks you’d brought in lieu of trying to find somewhere to stop for lunch. It took almost two hours to get to your next stop, the Jökulsárlón Iceberg Lagoon.

There, the two of you hopped on a boat tour where you got to taste a piece of 1,000 year old ice as you toured the lagoon. It was incredible to see first hand just how much ice was breaking off of the glacier and it made you more cognizant of the consequences of global climate change.

Right across the highway from the lagoon was Breiðamerkursandur or the diamond beach where fragments of ice wash up after floating from the lagoon out into the ocean. You made Cale climb onto an iceberg so you could take a picture of him and you got some great shots of all of the ice scattered along the shore. Despite the fact that it wasn’t all that cold outside, having been surrounded by ice for the past hour or two left you feeling chilly even if you had dressed in layers.

As you climbed in the car, Cale turned the heat on and you squeezed his knee in thanks. It was just a short drive to your hotel for the night and once you’d checked in, you shed a few layers before heading to the bar for a drink before dinner.

You’d retreated to your room around 6:30pm and Cale hopped in the shower first to clean up. While you waited for him to finish, you dug in your bag trying to decide what to grab for after your own shower. Thinking back to how you had promised yourself you were going to show Cale just how important he was, you unzipped a small compartment where you’d hidden the lingerie you’d bought.

Buying lingerie had been a spur of the moment decision possibly fueled by a few glasses of wine, and the thought of actually wearing it made you nervous. Your sex life with Cale had been fairly tame so far, nothing too out of the box. It had also been completely spontaneous on every occasion. You honestly had no idea how he would react to lingerie and though both sets were fairly tame in comparison to some sets you’d seen online, this was still something new and therefore nerve wracking.

Hearing the shower turn off, you jumped, your heart racing as you grabbed the more modest of the two sets. If you were going to do this, you were going to ease into it. Collecting your cosmetic bag, you hid the lingerie close to your chest.

Slipping into the bathroom as soon as Cale exited, you stripped out of your clothes and stepped into the shower trying not to overthink this. Focusing on shaving your legs and cleaning up served as a bit of a distraction but as you toweled off, your eyes landed back on the lingerie you’d placed on the counter.

You were certain you’d talk yourself out of this if you had to stare at yourself wearing the lingerie in the mirror for too long, so you started with your makeup, doing just a little bit more than you had been lately in order to make yourself feel confident and sexy. Blow drying your hair, you brushed it out before finally reaching for the lace and silk fabric.

Burgundy colored silk sat low on your hips, edged by black lace along both of your thighs. The same black lace covered your chest, ending at the bottom of your ribcage leaving your stomach exposed. It was...sensual but not over the top and when you slid the burgundy silk robe over it, you felt like you might actually be able to pull this off.

Reminding yourself that Cale had nearly lost his shit at the sight of you in a bikini the other night, you took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door and stepping out into the bedroom. Cale was sprawled out on the bed with just a pair of shorts slung low on his hips.

“What do you want to watch tonight?” Cale’s question was asked before he ever looked up at you, but when he did he blinked slowly. “That’s uh...that’s not your usual pajama set…” He murmured.

Blood pounding through your veins, you moved across the room to climb onto the bed beside him. Grabbing the remote from his hand, you turned the tv off before setting the remote aside.

“I was thinking about a different form of entertainment tonight…” You stated, your own voice sounding foreign in your ears. Sliding over Cale’s lap until you were straddling him, your hands ran down along his arms as his eyes did a slow once over of your body. “I think it’s time I take care of you for once.” You husked, raising an eyebrow. Cale hadn’t even seen what was under the robe yet and already he was slack jawed. The power you held over him in that moment sent a rush of adrenaline through you and you slid down the bed, tugging his shorts and boxers down with you.

“You good handsome?” You teased, lightly stroking your fingers over the length of his rapidly hardening dick. Cale couldn’t seem to speak, but he nodded his head and for now that was enough consent. Flicking your tongue along the slit of his cock, you stroked the length of him in your hand until a soft grunt fell from his lips. Only then did you hollow your cheeks, sinking down around him, taking as much of his length as you could down your throat. Bobbing slowly, you felt him twitch and when you pulled back to breathe you ran your tongue along the veins on the underside of his cock.

Following your instincts, plus Cale’s body language and verbal clues, you settled into a rhythm blowing your boyfriend for the first time. You’d seen and felt Cale orgasm enough to know when he was getting close as his body strained beneath you.

“Fuck. Babe. Stop.” Cale gasped, but peeking up at him you knew he didn’t actually want you to stop.

“We’ve got all night handsome...plenty of time for you to recover after coming down my throat.” You murmured before flicking your tongue through his slit again collecting all of his precum. Returning to your efforts, you cupped his balls as you sunk down his length. After just a minute, Cale came with a moan as he spilled down your throat and after swallowing you pulled off of him, sliding your tongue along his skin to clean him up. Cale’s cheeks were flushed as he tried to catch his breath and you slid up his body, settling yourself back over his lap.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?” Cale gasped, his head falling forward to land against your shoulder. Kissing his head, you ran your fingers through his hair waiting for him to become more coherent.

“Just trying to take care of my man.” You hummed. “But if you’re complaining...you don’t have to see what’s under the robe.” As you spoke, you drew his hands up to the tie at your waist, leaving it for him to undo.

The speed at which Cale undid the bow told you that he wasn’t complaining at all and you let him push the robe from your shoulders, his eyes landing on you once more. His cheeks flushed further to match the color of your shorts and his eyes were wider than you’d ever seen them. You let him stare, watching as his tongue ran over his lips leaving them wet and shiny in the dim lighting of the hotel room.

“Fuck…” Cale breathed harshly, drawing out the word. “I must be dreaming right now.” He added. “You’re a fucking dream sweetheart.” Cale’s eyes ran slowly up and down your body like he wanted to memorize every inch. “You bought this for me?”

“I take it you like it?” You assumed, letting out a soft sigh in relief at his reaction.

“What do you think?” Cale grunted, pulling your hips to roll down against his cock which was already hard again.

Laughter bubbled from your chest in reaction and you cupped his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him deeply.

“Good to know lingerie is a hit with you.” You admitted. Cale’s eyes flashed with concern for just a moment before his hand fell to your hips, his thumbs brushing against your bare stomach.

“I don’t know whether I want you to keep this on or take it off.” He declared. Clearly he knew better than he thought he did, because as he spoke his hands slid up your sides, gently gripping the fabric and drawing it up and over your head. Half nude on top of him, Cale’s hands cupped your breasts as he pulled you into a desperate kiss.

“Can’t believe you’re mine…” He mumbled, pulling back. There was something about seeing him like this, flushed red, swollen lips, blissed out from one orgasm already that lit every primal need inside of you. As much as you were his, he was yours and god did you need him inside you.

“Please Cale…” You whimpered, rolling your hips against his.

“Shh…” He soothed, hands gliding across your ass. Sensing that he was going to try and flip you, you kept your weight centered firmly above him.

“I wanna be on top.” You pleaded. “Just need out of these shorts…”

Cale wasn’t responding quickly enough, so you pushed the fabric of your shorts off of your own hips, shifting as little as possible while attempting to kick them off and onto the floor.

“Let me…” You cut off Cale’s statement by raising your hips and lowering yourself onto his dick, a gasp spilling from your throat as you felt him slipping deep inside you.

“Yes…” You hissed, the stretch of your body around him filling you with a warmth and ache that you had missed so much. As you started shallowly leveraging yourself up before dropping back down your eyes met Cale’s deep azure orbs, the look in them heightening your arousal.

“So wet.” Cale eventually groaned. “My girl doesn’t even need foreplay after blowing me to be this soaking wet. Fuck.”

Though one of Cale’s hands fell to your hips, you were the one putting in all of the effort to fuck yourself on his cock.

“You’re so needy...fucking yourself...just using my body for your pleasure. So much for wanting to take care of me tonight.” Sinking down on him again, you purposely tightened your vaginal walls against him, drawing another moan from his chest.

“Hmm...I think me doing all the work...letting you cum inside me while you just lay there is taking pretty good care of you…” You corrected. Your thighs were starting to burn from bouncing on top of him but your orgasm was within arm’s reach and there was no way you were stopping before ensuring you both got to climax.

“My girl is close.” Cale groaned. “Cum for me sweetheart...let me feel that tight heat clamp down on me.”

Cale’s words pushed you over the edge and you sunk down on him in exhaustion as your body shook with your orgasm. Spurts of Cale’s semen filled you from deep inside and you whimpered at the feeling, warm from head to toe. As you collapsed against him, still connected intimately, Cale’s fingers played with the ends of your hair.

“I can’t get enough of you.” Cale whispered a few minutes later, his cock starting to harden inside of you again.

“Again?” You inquired, a little bit in disbelief that his rebound time was this fast.

“Only if you want to.” He assured you. “But I’ll take over, you can relax and enjoy this time.” This time when Cale attempted to roll the two of you over, you went willingly, staring up at him. Before moving, Cale settled your legs up over his shoulders and when he thrust inside of you, you cried out softly at the feeling of him brushing against your g-spot.

“I got you sweetheart...just tell me what you need.” Cale sighed, pleasure lacing his tone.

The sound of your skin smacking together and the squelch of your mixed bodily fluids rang in your ears.

“Talk to me…” You pleaded. “Like before.” You weren’t afraid to admit that hearing Cale dirty talk had pushed you so much closer to orgasm than you would have been otherwise.

“Yeah?” Cale breathed, his cheeks turning bright red again as you nodded. “You feel so good like this sweetheart. You’re even wetter than before. So tight too.” Every movement he made brushed against your g-spot and you couldn’t help the litany of noises that fell from your lips at the feeling.

“You like it when I fuck you like this huh?” He continued. “Your pussy stretches around me so nicely, just welcoming me inside. Do you like being fucked nice and deep like this? Feeling each ridge of me against your walls...feeling me spill deep inside you?” Crying out again, your head tossed back and forth against the pillow, your orgasm creeping up on you quickly.

“You do like feeling me spill inside of you don’t you? That’s why you wanted to stop using condoms. You like being skin to skin with me, feeling me raw you bare. You like being filled with my warm sticky cum, the way it drips out of you if I let it…”

Your vision went black for a moment as your orgasm crashed down on you hard. The muscles in your thighs spasmed painfully, but you barely noticed through the waves of pleasure that rippled through you, leaving you panting. As your body clenched around him again, you felt Cale spill inside of you for the second time tonight.

Carefully he pulled out of you before kissing your lips lightly.

“Be right back.” He declared, disappearing into the bathroom. He returned with a washcloth and after wiping down your thighs, he offered you a hand so that you could go to the bathroom yourself. When you returned to the bedroom, Cale handed you a t-shirt to wear before guiding you under the covers.

“So dirty talk huh…?” He chirped, his nose brushing against the top of your head.

“Shut up and turn the tv on Cale.” You replied, feeling heat flood your cheeks. Chuckling, Cale complied, but as he handed you the remote to pick a show he couldn’t help but get in the last word.

“It’s hot. I enjoyed it.” Shaking your head, you snuggled against him just basking in what was left of the afterglow.

“And for the record...you can always surprise me with lingerie. I’m definitely into that as well.”

Lingerie:

[z3llous]

𝓡𝓮𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂

@burnthoneymint​

This is my entry for Sanjifest! I started working on this in January, but it fit the prompt well (oof a few months put into this). It has both text and illustration (Lol I hope the difference in quality over time isn’t too bad). I hope you love it!

Prompt: “That is definitely not what I was expecting.”

---

I can't be late

They quickly rounded the corner only to crash into someone, the briefcase previously in their hand hitting the pavement and sliding away.

Shit

They scrambled to get up, looking to see an outstretched hand. Hesitating for a moment, they took it.

"You dropped this." The  pretty blond stranger said holding their briefcase.

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry I really don't have time to talk." They grabbed it and turned to leave.

"Wait, what's your name?"

"It's Y/n!" They answered before rushing away.

He sighed watching them vanish in the distance.

"Y/n...Damn, they're beautiful. At least I got their name..."

---

Bright colors of flowers decorated the town. He was normally too busy to stop and smell the literal roses that florists put out during the first week of summer.

His eyes trailed aimlessly over the crowd and recognized a familiar form he'd been seeking every time he visited the area.

He couldn't miss such an opportunity.

"Y/n!" He waved excitedly catching their attention.

SUCCESS

"Why hello, I didn't expect to see you again." Y/n said once they reached him.

"You remember me!"

"Of course, how could I forget. Your look is quite signature." They laughed.

"True, very true." He laughed in return and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I was in a bit of a hurry last time we met, so I didn't get a name."

"Oh, it's Sanji." He was sure they weren't from around there, but still hoped they wouldn't recognize it.

"Lovely to officially meet you, Sanji." They gently took his hand and placed a soft kiss upon his knuckles.

 He froze. The gears had stopped turning in his mind, that was a first for him.

"Hello, Sanji?" Y/n tried not to laugh and snapped their fingers to bring him back to land of the living.

"Huh? Uh... Oh...OH! Yes?" His eyes flitted everywhere except them when he realized what happened.

"Would you like to join me for the rest of the evening?" They leaned in, looked up with a playful expression, and offered a hand.

"O-of course" He timidly accepted their hand.

I'm going to die of a heart attack before the sun sets.

---

Hues of pink and purple spread across the horizon, coating the atmosphere in serenity. A zephyr caressed their skin affectionately as they traversed toward the pier.

The remaining rays of the day highlighted his distant form in an ethereal manner. It left them frozen in an entranced state, thankfully he was yet to notice them.

Once Y/n returned they had to muster the confidence to approach him and begin their implied "date".

With my job you'd think this would be easy for me, but no I can't even walk up to him. Damn pretty boy, had to look angelic...

Fortunately, he turned to see them and the problem had been solved.

"Oh, Y/n! I hope your trip was pleasant. I wish you'd let me pick you up though." He said excitedly.

"Yes, the train ride was pleasant. I've told you before, the hotel I'm staying at is out of town. I'd rather not have you making such a trip over me." They stated calmly with a mild smile.

"But Y/n I want to~"

"I know you do. Alright, once I've finally quit my job and moved into a house I'll let you pick me up." They pretended to be deep in thought.

"I won't forget it!" He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. Now, c'mon I'd like to start exploring before everything closes. I don't normally get to visit the seaside." Y/n held out their hand, trying not show the excitement bubbling within.

"I thought your job required travel." He grabbed their hand.

"It does, but not normally more relaxed areas, like here."

"You never told what you do." He thought aloud looking to the warm colored wisps of cloud.

"I would if I could.  My work often involves rich people, who don't like me talking about their business. I should be out of there soon, anyway." They sighed.

"Oh, that makes sense. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble." He lightly tightened his hold of their hand.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just enjoy the moment." They squeezed back.

---

Their time spent in town was sweet and filled with playful teasing.

As the sun sunk into the sea they bought warm drinks from a cafe and decided to spend the remaining time together on the beach.

Sand underfoot made pleasant sound as they walked, steam from the cups swirled off into the cool night air.

"Y/n?" He stopped walking.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sure you've heard of the upcoming ball at the palace... Would you be my date?" He lifted their hand up, thumb rubbing their knuckles, and eyes glistening under moon light in anticipation.

"That's definitely not what I was expecting. Yes, of course, I'd love to be your date." Y/n gave him a soft smile.

Sanji set their drinks down carefully, before turning around to excitedly wrap his arms around and lift them slightly off the ground in an embrace. He was so happy he couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you-" He chanted.

"Alright. Alright. I get it." They laughed.

---

Piano wafted through the air seductively as they took sip of the golden fluid glowing under the citrine light above. 

A figure dressed in auburn approached from behind to sit across from them. 

"Rue, late as always." Y/n stated swishing their drink around to admire it.

"Yes, well one doesn't wake up looking this good." She joked, her ruby nails searched through her bag.

She pulled out and slid a sheet of paper across the table top.

Y/n's eyes trailed over the words taking in the information.

"So Mr. Zero wants me to go out with a bang, huh?" They mused glancing up to meet Rue's Amber eyes.

"It would seem so. He doesn't want you to live to tell the tale." She laughed. Her burgundy lips slowly formed a devilish smirk and she leaned forward. "Surprise him." 

---

Y/n stood outside staring at the paper.

"I might not be able to keep my promise. I don't know if I'll live long enough to have a home of my own. I'm sorry, Sanji."

They took one last look before setting the page alight.

Text of page:

COMMISSION NO. 7326

DEAD OR ALIVE:

DEAD

PREFERRED METHOD:

NONE

LOCATION:

SUNNY PALACE

TARGET/S:

STRAW HAT ROYAL FAMILY

---

Click

Click

Click

The sound their shoes hitting the marble floor echoed in Y/n's mind. The crowd surrounding was nothing more than background noise. The butterflies that fluttered about inside them were far too distracting. Tonight was the night. Be it the end or the beginning, They didn't know.

The people gathered around the stage hoping to sneak a glance of the royal family behind the curtain.

A man with spiked green hair walked up, introduced himself as Bartolomeo, and began a long fangirly speech about the royal family.

Y/n took this moment to look around for Sanji and Rue.

There She was sitting and sipping a glass of wine, classic Rue. She must've sensed Their eyes, for she gave them a smile and thumbs up.

Sanji was no where to be seen, Crowd: nope, Tables: nothing, or maybe the food table? No, not there either.

They took a deep breath and chose not to worry about it.

Finally a  foot peaked out from under the curtain and kicked him, effectively causing the ball to begin. Piano played, Bartolomeo stepped off stage, and the curtains were drawn.

One by one each butterfly once aflutter now dropped dead and began to rot.

There he was, sitting on a throne with the rest of the Straw Hats.

The blade grew warm as their stomach twisted itself into a tight knot. The joyful music felt to be coming from another room.

They were too dazed to notice the people preparing to dance and the royal family walking off stage to join in.

"Y/n?" Sanji called their name again. When he did he get so close?

"Yes...?"

"There you are. Sorry, was that too shocking? I didn't know how to tell you." He rubbed his neck, the tile below seemed rather interesting to him.

"That's...Alright. It's not like you could've brought it up easily." They too found the tile to be interesting.

As nice as the tile was, no solutions to the new problem could be found in it.

"Um, would you allow me a dance?" He offered his hand, glancing at them.

"How could I say no?" They took his hand and smiled, sweeping the dead butterflies under the rug to be dealt with later.

They gracefully swirled around and around, hands intertwined, hearts racing, and warmth rising to their faces. Though they tried to rid of it, a dull ache lingered deep beneath.

The song met its end which led to the beginning of another.

"C'mon follow me." He whispered as they slipped through a door and into a photo filled hallway.

Y/n paused for moment to look at a picture of Sanji running with who they thought to be King Luffy on his back. Many other pictures with others just as happy surrounded it.

I wish I had something like that

He walked ahead and opened a door.

"Here it is." He motioned for them to step through.

"Oh my-" They had lost their words.

An intricate ebony fence wrapped around the garden keeping the delicate flowers safe as they admired the ivory fountain in the center.

"Beautiful isn't it? I often come here to escape the king's insatiable hunger." He joked taking their hand and leading them to the center. "Nothing compared to you though." He smiled and traced along their cheek to move a strand of hair behind their ear.

They grew flustered and took a step forward, only for their foot to be caught on a brick in the path. They both tumbled down.

Y/n had him pinned to the ground. The two stared at each other for a moment to take in what had just happened and then burst into laughter.

Their laughter died first. The pain quickly settled in.

I can't. I can't give him up.

He noticed their expression and panicked.

"Y/n, what's wrong? Are you alright? Did you get hurt?" Concern dripped from every word.

"I- I need to tell you something." Tears welled in their eyes.

"Yes?"

"You know that job I've been trying to get out of?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Baroque Works. They're in the assassination business. They gave me a suicide mission yesterday. I'm supposed to kill your family. I- I can't do this, but they'll kill me if I don't. I can't I don't know what to do I'm-" Their words grew messier and more fearful the longer they talked, until he cut them off from anymore scared rambling.

"It's going to be alright. Everything is going to be ok. You are going to ok."

He lifted his free hand to wipe away the tears.

"It is?" They mumbled.

"Yes, I promise we'll help you. You're not alone anymore, alright?" He lowered his hand to gently hold their wrist and rub reassuringly with his thumb.

"Alright."

He smiled lovingly up at them.

"Together." They whispered leaning down catching him in sweet kiss.

"Together." He responded going in for another.

---

Epilogue:

Luffy, as always, was excited to have a new member of the family. Y/n quickly grew accustomed to the chaotic crew (Pun intended).

Rue was interrogated by Nami. Which, surprisingly, went smoothly. They got along quite well, too well. Within the month of them working together they were caught making out by the unfortunate Usopp.

He never forgot it.

---

"To the end of Baroque Works and the Freedom of  Y/n and Rue!" They Cheered holding up their glasses together in celebration.

Rue turned to Nami and pulled her in for a kiss.

"How did you two even get together?" Usopp groaned.

"Simple, I've always loved shrewd women." Rue joked and slid an arm around her girlfriend's waist.

The devilish couple laughed while Usopp died inside, now he had to deal with two of them.

Y/n sat at the bar where poor Sanji was most frequent the whole evening. He took every chance he got to stop by with a small treat and chat with them, but the demand was high and his visits were few and far between.

---

Finally the sun had set, everyone had turned in for the night, and Y/n finished helping Sanji clean up, regardless of his wishes.

After preparing for bed Y/n pulled him under the covers and turned off the light.

"Shhhh You've worked hard. You must be so tired. Let me take care of you." They whispered holding him close, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

He mewled and nuzzled into their touch.

They mumbled sweet words and ran their fingers through his hair until they both fell into peaceful slumber.

---

The wattpad cover:

All the illustrations: 

Click

[emetoandotherthings]

"oohhh I gotta lie down" for Jude bc he's dramatic like tha

A/N: First of all, don’t get excited that I’m suddenly writing again - this is an old piece that I wrote that I’ve only just got the impetus to type up... On that note, I hope you enjoy it though! 

--

“Jude?” Eden stretched across and poked his boyfriend’s thigh; Jude was leaning back, his eyes closed under his sunglasses and his mouth slightly open as he dozed. “Jude?”

“Hmmm…” Jude mumbled, still in that sleepy phase.

“Jude, it’s time to wake up,” Eden sat up, the sun lounger that he had been lying on creaked as he swung his legs round and planted his feet into the sand. It was still warm from the heat of the daytime sun, even as the sun was beginning to go down towards the horizon.

“ ‘s it?” Jude stretched his arms, above his head, his back arching, but his eyes still closed. “Was having a nice nap…”

“I know,” Eden said, poking his finger into Jude’s leg again, as it looked like Jude was going to go straight back to sleep. “Jude, you’ve been asleep for over an hour.” Eden told him, check his watch. “It’s about time that we head back and get changed so we can go out for dinner.”

“There’s no way I’ve been sleeping for an hour…” Jude rubbed his hands into his eyes and sat up further, his own sun lounger groaning as the plastic repositioned under him.

“You have,” Eden replied. “It’s just after six – look, the sun’s going down.” Eden pointed out across the beach; it had nearly completely emptied now, everyone else had gone back to their hotels or out to dinner.

Jude swung his legs round, so he was facing Eden, and reached out to grab his free hand.

“It’s really beautiful, isn’t it?” Jude said, squeezing Eden’s hand.

The holiday had been a spur of the moment decision – it was just chance that Jude’s school holidays had aligned up with Eden’s reading week, which meant they actually both had a week off to spend together. Only a few days earlier, Eden had arrived back at the flat to find Jude had selected three different locations, looked at hotels and apartments, and price checked flights. At first Eden thought he’d been joking, but it became clear very quickly that he was deadly serious. They’d decided on Tenerife, booked their flights and apartments that night, and frantically looked out clothes and packed into their cases.

“It is!” Eden agreed. “I’m glad we decided to come.”

“Yeah,” Jude nodded. “We deserve a break.”

“Look at those colours in the sky!” Eden’s finger was almost pointing directly above him; the rays of the setting sun were casting orange, pink and purple shades into the sky and reflecting on the deepening blue of the sea. It was as though someone had dipped a brush into watercolour and allowed them to merge seamlessly across a canvas.

“It’s amazing what a change of scene can do, isn’t it?” Jude had lowered his head and closed his eyes, still sounding a little sleepy.

“Yeah,” Eden agreed, then looked across at Jude and gave the hand that he was holding a small shake. “Jude? Don’t go back to sleep! Come on, we need to go back and get ready for dinner!”

“Hmmm?” Jude’s head bobbed up again. “I know. It’s just been a long day…”

Eden frowned slightly, it hadn’t really been that long day… They’d slept relatively late, ambled down to a beachside bar and had some lunch and sangria.

They’d possibly had a bit too much, because by the time they’d left in the early afternoon, they were giggly and jaunty – taking a walk right along the beach front, occasionally running back and forth from the waves hand in hand, like little children.

They’d walked so far that the backs of their necks and their faces from the sun, so they bought overpriced ice creams from a van and began their walk the other way, back towards where they had come from.

The sun had still been high in the sky when Jude managed to find some free static sun loungers underneath a canopy of wooden parasols. Sun loungers were hard to find on the beach at the best of time, but to get two together was almost impossible. Eden had bagged them, while Jude found a beach vendor selling pineapple and bought them both a slice.

Eden had laughed and commented that all he seemed to do on this holiday was eat and drink, but Jude had barely finished his pineapple before he was snoring gently on the lounger. Eden had watched him for a little while, smiling at how calm Jude looked while sleeping, before leaning back on his own lounger and enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin.

It hadn’t really been a long day, but Eden brushed it off; if Jude felt like it had been a long day then he’d allowed him to feel like that.

“I know,” Eden said, “but if we don’t move now it’s gonna be 9 o’clock before we even get out for dinner.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jude agreed; he slipped his book into the canvas bag that they had been using as a beach bag. Eden had stood up – stretching his arms above his head, then picked up the bag and swung it over his shoulder.

“Coming?” Eden asked, as Jude still hadn’t moved from where he was sitting on the sun lounger, and he held out his hand for Jude to take.

“Yeah,” he reached out and grabbed Eden’s hand as he stood up from the lounger.

The two of them walked along the end of the sun loungers, in front of the rows of empty loungers. Nearly everyone else had already headed away and the beach was peacefully quiet, with only the rushing sound of the water flooding in across the sand and then back out. Eden paused for a second, breathing in the salty seawater air and feeling the light breeze across his face. Jude had paused too; he seemed to be lagging slightly as they started to walk again. The grip of his hand around Eden’s felt a little too tight. When he turned to look at him, his cheeks were a little flushed pink and Eden could tell he had spent some time in the sun.

Jude was trying not to hold on too tightly to Eden’s hand; his head felt kind of fuzzy, the way it did when he drank red wine on an empty stomach. But he had eaten today… He’d had an omelette, and chips, along with the sangria, and then ice cream, and pineapple. But the thought of the food he’d eaten hours ago made him feel kind of queasy. In fact, everything around him was making him feel unsettled. His face felt like it was on fire, and his mouth felt very dry. He stumbled slightly on the sand, and felt Eden’s hand tighten to prevent him from falling.

“Whoa, you okay?” Eden asked, stopping and almost pulling Jude alongside him to check.

“Yeah,” Jude lied, trying to laugh, but it sounded oddly forced. “Tripped over my own feet!” Eden seemed to take that at face value, sand wasn’t the easiest thing to walk on.

Jude could feel his head beginning to throb – he couldn’t understand it; maybe he had drunk more than he’d realised at lunch time? But he was sure they’d only ordered one pitcher between them, and they’d shared it – there was no way he could still be drunk from half a pitcher of sangria! It wasn’t even full strength. But the whooshing, thumping in his head was growing stronger, and he was starting to feel his feet and legs going numb, becoming more and more difficult to have full control of. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage like he was sprinting rather than just ambling along the beach. He tried to close his eyes for a moment and take a deep breath in through his nose, trying to clear some of the weird sensation.

“Jude?” He heard Eden’s voice, but it was reverberating oddly in the space between his ears; like Eden was shouting from the end of a very long tunnel. “Jude? Are you okay?” He felt Eden’s hand squeeze tighter on his, and tried to squeeze back to communicate, but the messages from his brain to the rest of his body didn’t seem to be working too well.

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and was steered somewhere, and then forced to sit down, underneath his thighs he could feel cool stone or bricks. He couldn’t tell whether his eyes were closed, or just not working properly; the thumping in his head seemed to be throwing his balance, even though he knew that he was now sitting down.

“Take a deep breath in,” he heard Eden again, and a hand on his thigh, grounding him, “and out.” Jude followed Eden’s instructions, but the swirling sliding feeling was getting worse. His insides seemed to be rolling over and over, somehow connected to his lost sense of balance. He could tell that his eyes were squeezed shut.

“What’s going on Jude?” Eden asked, he sounded worried and Jude felt bad at the concern he was causing.

“I… feel funny…” He was surprised that he could even get words out, but thankful that he managed.

“What kind of funny?” Eden questioned further. Now the whole of Jude felt like he was on a helter skelter, going round and round, unable to be controlled.

“Oooh, I gotta lie down,” Jude mumbled, sliding from the solid stone he was sitting on, down onto warm sand.

“Oh, oh okay! Here, let me help,” Eden picked up quickly, almost cradling Jude’s head and gently helping him to lie on the sand. He could feel the cold of the wall he’d been sitting on pressing against his back; he didn’t quite know why he wanted to lie down, but there was something about being on the ground – there wasn’t anywhere else to fall to.

The warmth that he’d felt earlier had intensified; he felt like he was sitting right next to an open bonfire. He was taking slow breaths in the hope that the unsteadiness would settle.

It seemed to take a lifetime but the swirling sensation calmed around him, but his insides still felt like they were on a rollercoaster.

“Jude?” Eden was trying very hard not to panic, but right now his boyfriend was lying on the sand, and not responding much. Jude’s cheeks and forehead were rosy pink, and Eden could see his chest moving and he inhaled and exhaled. Then out of the corner of Eden’s eye, he saw something – a twitch, or jerk – that wasn’t quite natural. Eden moved a little, and just in time.

“Mmmmmmmhuuuuuurrrrrrggggggllllk…” Jude’s mouth had opened and his chest jerked once more, the muscles in his torso tightening as a gush of liquid vomit spilled onto the sand.

“Oh shit,” Eden had retracted his hands for a second, before returning one to under Jude’s head and the other towards his back. Jude hadn’t been able to warn Eden, it had happened far too quickly; his mouth had gone from bone dry to oversalivating in an instant. He could tell that he wasn’t done – his muscles still clenching and heaving.

“Hnnnnngggguuuuuuuurrrrlllllkk!” Another spray of sick burst passed his lips onto the sand; he coughed, spitting extra saliva out.

“You’re okay Jude,” Eden said, but he wasn’t convinced he was – this had come on out of nowhere! Eden stroked one hand across Jude’s forehead and felt the sweltering heat. “Oh God Jude – you’re burning!”

“Hot…” Jude whispered, trying to stop his stomach from revolting.

“You’re far too hot, and not in the good way!” Eden told him. Eden could feel himself panicking, his chest tightening as he looked down at his semi-conscious boyfriend. “Oh Jude… What do I do?” He looked at Jude, his hands were trembling as he touched one of Jude’s arms. As he did so, the canvas bag that had been on his shoulder fell onto the sand, and with that an idea crossed his mind.

“Okay, okay, Jude, you just – you just stay there,” Eden said, rather reluctantly as Jude wasn’t up to moving anywhere. He rifled through the bag and pulled out one of the cheap beach towels that they had bought on the first day of their holiday.

Leaving Jude lying on the sand, Eden gripped the towel and went charging down the beach towards the water. Ignoring the salty scent from the sea, he dumped the towel in the water, making sure that it was thoroughly wet through. Then he scooped it up, not bothering to wring it out and made his way back up to where Jude was lying. Opening up the towel, he laid it across Jude’s skin, avoiding the puddle of sick as he knelt down next to him.

“Alright – Jude, d’you think you could sit up if I help you?” Eden said, putting his hand back on Jude’s arm and gave it a squeeze.

“Nnnngghhh….” Jude groaned, not particularly able to verbalise anything coherent; but Eden had made his mind up. He had to get Jude back to the apartment – even if that meant having to hoist him onto his back and carry him. Though he really did hope that he wouldn’t puke down him if it came to that.

“Okay, right, Jude,” Eden fastened his grip on Jude’s bicep and slipped his other hand into the gap at his neck. “1, 2, 3…” Eden warned Jude and then pulled him upright; Jude let out a little groan, and his head flopped forwards as soon as he was up. Eden wrapped the damp towel around the other side of Jude, ignoring the sand that was sticking to his skin.

“Uuuurrrggghhnnn…” Jude’s eyes were closed and his face was red.

“Okay Jude,” Eden said, sitting next to Jude and holding him up. “Take some deep breaths.” Eden was watching him carefully, trying to detect any sign of him getting better, or worse. He heard Jude take a few breaths, but they were ragged and gasping. “That’s it, you’re doing well.”

“Hmm! Hmmmrrk!” Jude heaved, his chest jerked and Eden heard the rush of liquid coursing up Jude’s throat. “Hmmmmrrrllllk!” It splattered messily between Jude’s legs, and Eden winced at the way Jude’s belly muscles kept clenching – long after he was bringing up anything.

“Oh honey…” Eden sighed, pushing back Jude’s fringe from where it was flopping into his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay…” Eden was speaking out of hope more than any kind of certainty. “Here…” Eden fumbled with one hand in amongst the debris that had fallen out of the canvas bag. Knowing that he’d be cursing later on that he’d allowed both of their phone to have fallen out into the sand; he found the bottled water that they carried everywhere. “Here…” He repeated, clumsily unscrewing the lid with one hand, the lid rolling onto the sand, then raising the bottle to Jude’s lips. “You just need to take a little sip Jude.”

“Mmmmnnn…” Jude groaned, trying to turn his head away from the water bottle.

“No Jude,” Eden insisted, pressing the bottle back to his boyfriend’s lips. “Just a tiny sip.”

“Don’ wanna….” Jude mumbled, still trying to turn his head away.

“Little sip, little sip,” Eden put his other hand behind Jude’s head to keep him from wiggling away. “Little sip…” He held the bottle just high enough for a small amount of water to pass his lips. “Good, good job.” Eden encouraged as Jude swallowed the little amount of water. “Okay, okay Jude – we need to get back… I think you’ve got heatstroke, we have to get you cooled down properly.” Eden said. “You think you could walk if I helped you?” Jude didn’t reply, instead he simply leant his head in towards Eden, still rather limp.

“I guess that means no,” Eden mumbled, his arm was still around Jude’s shoulders. “Right, well…” Eden was thinking hard, and there was only one solution to the predicament he was in.

Using his free hand, he picked up the debris from his bag that had landed on the sand and shoved them back into the canvas. He pulled the bag over his shoulder, far enough up that he hoped it wouldn’t fall down.

“Right, okay – Jude, you need to listen to me,” Eden tapped Jude on the cheek, “can you let me know you’re listening?”

“Mmmm…” Jude hummed.

“That’s good enough, I guess,” Eden sighed. “Jude, I’m gonna help you up onto the low wall right behind you, then you can sit there for a few minutes, okay?” Eden gripped his hands under Jude’s armpits, holding tight. “1, 2, 3…” Eden counted, before hauling Jude up and making sure he was planted onto the low wall he’d been leaning against. Eden exhaled deeply, glad that Jude was managing to stay upright, if a little slumped. Jude’s eyes were still closed and the red flush across his cheeks.

“Jude?” Eden knelt down right in front of Jude, which felt rather precarious at the moment – he wasn’t entirely convinced Jude was done throwing up. “Jude, I need you to help me with this.” Eden was almost pleading with him. “I’m going to kneel down in front of you, and I need you to wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. I’m gonna piggy back you to the apartment, but I need you to hold tight, can you do that? Jude?”

“Yeah…” Jude mumbled, and Eden could have cried with relief.

“Good, good, right – okay,” Eden gushed. “Let’s do it.” Eden turned around, carefully avoiding the puddle of sick that Jude had already created. “Come on…” He was glad to feel Jude’s arms snaking around his neck, and he gripped at Jude’s thighs as they tightened at his waist. “Good, right – hold on tight.”

Holding so tightly on to Jude’s legs that he was sure he was probably hurting him, but that didn’t matter, as Eden steeled himself and pushed through his legs until he was on his feet. Jude groaned slightly at the movement, but he continued jnto hold on to Eden’s neck, which was reassuring.

“Okay,” Eden said, slightly strained; he wasn’t particularly strong, but this was the only way he was going to get Jude back. “You just – hold – on…” Eden began to walk, stepping off the sand onto the pavement. “And please…” Eden struggled, “try to warn me – if you’re gonna puke again…”

Jude hummed slightly, his head had flopped onto the flat of Eden’s shoulder, but his hands were still holding on around Eden’s neck.

Eden felt like his lungs were on fire. He wasn’t anywhere near as fit as he could be – and he certainly wasn’t used to carrying his boyfriend on his back for so long. He was sure he was receiving some funny looks from passers-by, but he started focusing only on breathing, and his feet moving forward.

Every few steps he tried to remind himself that he was nearly there, his arms were beginning to ache and tremble from supporting Jude’s legs. He was so nearly there though; he could see the front of their apartment blocks. Jude was still clutching on to him and Eden couldn’t tell if he’d fallen asleep or not.

He navigated into the lift, and then out again at their floor; he was dripping with sweat, and he knew had to put Jude down so he could get the key to the apartment door.

“Jude?” He panted breathlessly, when there was no response he gave Jude a little jiggle on his back and he heard Jude moan. “Jude? I need you to try and stand up… I can’t get the key without my hands…” Eden could hear Jude making a small huffing noise. “I’m going to put you down…”

Eden had backed next to the railing at the other side of the hallway, intending to get Jude to hold on to that. Gently, he let go of Jude’s legs, which dropped from Eden’s waist; Eden felt his hands loosen, then let go from around his neck.

“That’s it,” Eden breathed encouragingly; but almost as soon as Jude’s feet hit the ground, his knees crumpled and he ended up in a semi heap on the ground. “Oh Jude…” He sighed, rummaging with both hands in the canvas bag that had been hooked in between himself and Jude. He successfully located the key, stuck it in the lock and shoved hard – as soon as the door was open, Eden went back to Jude.

“Come on,” Eden said, looping his arm behind Jude’s and gripping tight. “We’re going to get you in, and in a cool shower to bring your temperature down.” Eden hauled Jude up, and practically dragged him inside the room, using his foot to kick the door shut. “Come on, right into the bath.” He said, using the light coming from the balcony doors to navigate his way into the bathroom. “Okay…” Eden lowered Jude onto the closed toilet seat, knowing that would prop him up until he could get the lights on. “Right…”

Eden put the bathroom light on, Jude was leaning back – his face and skin still redder than usual. He collected the bath towel provided by the apartment, and found a clean pair of underwear for Jude to change into, he stacked them neatly, before pulling the shower head down from its holder. He had to navigate Jude into the bath first though; he ran his hands over his face.

“Okay Jude, lift your leg,” Eden told him, picking up one of Jude’s legs and putting it over the edge of the bath, then repeating the action with the other one. “I’m going to help you slide in, okay?” Jude was at a kind of strange angle, with his legs in the bath, but it allowed Eden to hook him under the armpits and slide him in. He landed a little harder than intended, but Eden wasn’t complaining. “Okay…” Eden let out a few deep breaths, thankful that he’d managed so far. “Right…” Eden made to turn the shower on, but just before he turned the control, he heard a noise. Turning back to Jude in a flash, Eden saw his chest jerk suddenly.

“Hmmmmrkk! Hmmmm! Bllllahhhhuuuurrrgggllllllee!” Jude vomited so forcefully that it landed on his legs, coating all down his front. “Brrrruuuuaaarrrp!” He let out an empty belch as he rested his head back.

“Oh God Jude…” Eden pushed Jude’s sticky fringe away from his forehead, still feeling the burning heat. “Well, at least you held it in until I’d put you down.” Eden chuckled, moving to turn the water on.

Ensuring it was a cool, but not freezing stream of water, Eden began to wash Jude down. Initially, he was concerned with getting the puke off Jude, but once he was clean, he was using the water to bring down his temperature, even directing the water over Jude’s head and allowing it to soak into his hair. He continued moving the shower head up and down Jude’s body, making particularly sure that he covered all of Jude’s torso and his arms. He went up and down, over and over, until Jude was beginning to shiver where he was laying in the bath.

His eyes were still closed, and goosebumps were forming on his chest and forearms. He turned off the water, replacing the shower head back into its holder on the wall.

“We need to get you out now,” Eden told him, trying to grip Jude’s forearms, which was more difficult as he was slippery from the water. “Please, try hold on to me.” He begged.

He wasn’t quite sure how he managed to get Jude out and back on to the lid of the toilet, but once he was there he wrapped the large bath towel around Jude. He rubbed his hand up and down the towel, drying Jude off; Jude’s head had flopped forwards and he seemed to be nearly asleep.

“Bed – that’s what you need,” Eden instructed, trying to pull Jude up and struggling to get him to the bed.

Jude hummed a little as he flopped onto the bed, still enrobed by the towel. His cheeks had lost some of their ruddy flush, but he was still warmer than he should be. Eden bundled himself to their sink and poured some cold water into a glass, collecting the cleanest looking teaspoon and carried it over to the edge of the bed.

Kneeling down, he dipped the spoon in the water and then pressed it to Jude’s lips – which parted instinctively to allow the tiny dribble of water to enter his mouth.

“Good, that’s good,” Eden muttered, “just little bits of water – I’ll keep giving you little bits of water until you’re feeling better.” He spooned another amount of water into Jude’s mouth and saw him swallow. “Well done Jude.” Eden settled himself further, his legs already beginning to cramp up from kneeling down.

Jude let out a breath that sounded quite relaxed, and Eden could swear that he heard Jude try to say “thanks”. He smiled as he watched Jude’s chest rising and falling slowly.

It looked like it was going to be a long night.