#we see them about to talk for the first time in 2 years but then don’t actually….see that talk?
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book 7 chapter 12 part 2 thoughts!
***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 12 OF THE MAIN STORY!!*** This spans part 245 to part 268, focusing on Trey and Ace.
We will get Riddle's dream in a future update (scheduled for Feb 7th)!
Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that roughly unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.
The group lands on a tropical island! These are reused assets from the Lost in the Book with Stitch event.
Cater indicates that he's fine from the bumpy ride; he likes the thrill! It reminds him of sky diving. He also shares that he once lived by the sea in Pyroxene/the Shaftlands and that he enjoys board-related activities (snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding, etc.)
IHBASOUFA8TVVAD8FA RIGHT AS THEY'RE TALKINGA BOUT THIS, LEONA INTERRUPTS AND TELLS THE KIDS TO STOP WASTING TIME, THEY GOTTA FIND THE DREAMER 💀 (Can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to shake his hand for reminding everyone to get the fuck back on track instead of standing around talking for several parts in a row...)
They find some footprints in the sand and decide to follow them. Due to the size and shape of the footprints being similar to Deuce's, they think the footprints must be Ace's and will lead them to him.
We bump into Ace (who is wearing his beachwear clothes from the Stitch event), along with dream!Riddle (also in his beachwear) and dream!Trey (who is in his Yasmina silk from the fireworks event). Trey was cooking up BBQ for everyone! afhlbllbaiad THE TWST DEVS ARE REALLY GETTING MILEAGE OUT OF THOSE OLD ASSETS, HUH...
Ace speaks to Deuce, Cater, Grim, and Yuu in a familiar tone, but is shocked to see everyone else. He also mentions dream!Cater leaving to change into swimwear and to take pics by the sparkling sea; it looks like he was dreaming of all of Heartslabyul and Grim + Yuu hanging out here. Apparently, dream!Cater rented a place for them by the beach from Kalim's family.
Ace and dream!Trey explain they're celebrating because Yuu can now freely pass between Twisted Wonderland and their original world. asdbihasiodasqevyf IS THIS SLIGHT SHADE AT THE THEORISTS THAT PROPOSED SOMETHING SIMILAR TO KEEP YUU AS THE MC IN TWST... (Turns out, Ace must have been really wishing for Yuu to not leave their friend group forever www) This seems to be their summer vacation after the first school year.
Cater volunteers himself, Silver, Leona, and Idia to help Trey with making BBQ. This is so they can monitor the darkness while giving the first years a chance to wake Ace. Congrats to Cater for being a little useful in these dreams 🤡
The first years directly confront Ace as he is showing them options for beachwear to change into. However, to everyone’s shock, Ace is in complete denial and brushes it off when his head starts to hurt. He tells they are all being overly negative and it's harshing his vibes! It's vacation time, so why are they trying to ruin things with jokes that are in poor taste? This marks the first major instance of the dreamer resisting the feeling of “waking”.
Sebek intervenes and tries to take charge of the argument. Even with Sebek shouting about all the havoc Malleus's magic is causing... even when Sebek says Malleus's magic will eventually swallow the world, Ace has no problem with it. He claims it's not his problem. Besides, everyone's going to be living happily in dreams, right? And this is the path that Malleus chose for himself, so he should accept the consequences of his actions. What's the issue there? Besides, he doesn't want to cooperate with a person like Sebek who constantly looks down on others and paints all the dreamers as victims in need of saving.
Ace storms out in a fit of anger. Grim starts blaming Sebek for things emotionally escalating. Then Ortho confronts Sebek with this question: if it was not Malleus Draconia behind the current situation, would Sebek really be trying as hard as he is to rectify things? This question shocks Sebek into silence.
Cater and the others show up to check in on us. From our crestfallen expressions, he can tell we failed to wake Ace.
HUHHHHHHHH 😟 Silver suddenly gets super strict with Sebek and scolds him for the trouble his rudeness has caused everyone + their seniors. He says that the people around Sebek have been too lenient with him and thus spoiled him; he needs to reflect on his actions!! Sebek uses a really quiet voice and apologizes to us (but he still uses kisama which is a pompous and rude way to speak to others 😭).
LEONA 💀 He suggests they are wasting too much time trying to wake a small fry like Ace and it may be more efficient to skip him and move onto the next dreams. THE DAD THAT LEFT FOR MILK, FOLKS
… What the fuck. I did not expect Ace’s dream to better my opinion of CATER of all people but lo and behold, it is. Cater agrees with Leona that it may be more efficient to skip Ace’s dream. He and Idia do not need to worry about Ace anymore. This first year is Heartslabyul’s so it’s not their responsibility. Cater walks off and Yuu, Grim, and Deuce chase him. The others follow in a separate group due to the radius for Ace’s dream world not being very large.
Deuce begs Cater to let him try talking to Ace one more time before they give up on him. AND THEN CATER ACTS LIKE THE DAD THAT STEPPED UP because he tells Deuce he never had any intention of abandoning Ace 😭 Deuce, Grim, and Yuu decide to team up with Cater to wake Ace, especially considering they may have to combat darkness this time.
Cater finds Ace by himself and asdbhlabsyod8ysaas8fb uses Split Card to make a bunch of clones to gang up and pummel his junior... "I'll show you this is a dream :))" *PROCEEDS TO BEAT THE CRUD OUT OF ACE* Unfortunately for Cater, dream!Riddle, Trey, Cater, and Deuce show up to put a stop to things. (I want to add it's hilarious that Cater is also in Yasmina silk but Deuce is stuck in his P.E. Uniform asdhbasoyafae)
Ace is tempted by the darkness and mumbles a bunch of stuff about how he doesn't want to do difficult things like fighting Malleus. He says he’s just an ordinary mage and doesn’t even have his UM yet. We're shocked by Ace's cowardly side but Silver points out that darkness being present feeds and amplifies your most negative emotions.
Anyway, Sebek and co. want to barge in to save Ace, but Leona holds them back; they should leave it to Cater.
fuasboyfg8fdasibTHER'S THIS ON e FUNnY MOMENT. Leona says that those that it's easy for the darkness to indulge in the dreamer when they're at their lowest/acting cowardly. Idia voice) Eeeeh, aren't you talking about yourself, Leona-shi... abhlfbioasfoasobifadib LEONA NYOOMS OVER TO IDIA'S TABLET AND COMES CLOSE TO BREAKING IT... Watch yourself, Idia...
WOW CATER 🤯 He blew my mind… Cater reminds us and Ace that when Riddle OB’d, Ace was the one that stepped up to fight even when the battle seemed unwinnable—and it was Cater who wanted to run. He tells Ace he looked so cool back then, but he hasn’t had the chance to thank him for it until now.
ACE LAUGHS AND CRiES
Cater pulls Ace out of the darkness!! He calls to Leona and co. for backup~ (One neat touch here is Ace says one of his battle opener lines: “Okay~ I’ll get this over with fast.”)
Deuce and Grim bonk Ace on the head for giving them a hard time. augwjsjs Ace starts to given’m lip again but Leona tells him to watch how he speaks to upperclassmen OTL
do skwguwuwn AcE CALLS oUT SILVER AnD LILIA foR SPOILING SEBEK… Cater interrupts to remind them to get along + respect their seniors or the red demon Riddle will come for them!
Adeuce are embarrassed about having to shout Dream Form Change. Idia enjoys it. Cater does too; he thinks it’s cute and wants Adeuce to do it again so he can take a video (they refuse to).
Deuce makes a passing comment about how maybe they don’t know Cater as well as they think they do?? The Cater they think they know is obsessed with taking pictures… but maybe he can be reliable too!
Sebek and Ace bicker again as they prepare to dream hop. Once again, Leona comes in clutch by telling them to stfu and for Silver to hurry it along.
They land in front of Heartslabyul dorm in Trey’s dream.
Ace didn’t have an issue with their travel; in fact, he posed when Cater pointed his phone at him!
We tell Ace we’ve basically gotten about 20ish people recruited to our cause already, plus the support of S.T.Y.X.! However, their group is 10 people now (Grim, Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Cater, Silver, Sebek, Idia, Ortho, and Leona), which will make it dangerous to dream hop.
Grim mentions that if he is without Yuu, he won’t count as a student. That’s weird, because earlier in book 7 he mentions moving to the second year even once Yuu has returned home… Maybe this will be formally discussed later??? It sounds slightly contradictory.
They smell butter and follow it to the Heartslabyul kitchen. Cater stops everyone suddenly?? He doesn't think it's wise if all 10 of them cram into the kitchen at once; he will go since it's not odd for a Heartslabyul student to be present in the area. Plus, if things get dicey, he can always use his UM as an excuse or in a combative pinch!
asdhasbyofasd Leona and Idia get dragged along with Cater since they're the oldest. This conveniently allows the others to listen in on the conversation in the kitchen by using the mic built into Idia's tablet. (Idia however is not happy that he gets stuck with the sunny Cater and the grumpy Leona.)
WHOA check out the cakes and other baked goods here???? I don't even like sweets, but this looks tasty.
Cater tells the other two with him that Trey handmakes goodies for unbirthday parties. He has advised in the past that Trey take shortcuts (using commercial goods/already made cakes or box mixes, I presume), but Trey doesn't listen. Cater suspects it's because Trey thinks it's way too fun to bake to give it up, even if it would be faster to use another way.
They overhear people talking and... WHAT THE HECK, CHENYA'S THE HEARTSLABYUL DORM LEADER NOW????? ? ? ?? ??? ? ? ? ?? ? ? He's complimenting Trey's meat pies...
P.S. That chef's outfit looks so good OTL
Ortho casually hacks into the RSA student database to report on who Chenya is (since Silver and Sebek have no clue who he is).
We sort of get an explanation for Cater’s dream??? He says he wished to live comfortably and happily, as if every day was like his birthday. Somehow that got twisted to him being dorm leader…
xhsvhwiwkw The first years are bickering outside… Ace and Grim are fighting to see what’s happening, Sebek is being too loud so Ortho chastises him.
Trey is able to tell the original Cater from the clones??? Bro is Haruhi Fujioka OHSHC… He comments that Cater looks different than usual, so he knew right away.
Riddle seems to be a regular card solider. He tried to challenge Chenya for his dorm leader seat.
Chenya explains Riddle lost to him because his UM doesn’t work on Chenya. He then demonstrates his UM…! (Note: some creative liberties taken while transcribing in order to slap in an Alice in Wonderland quote :3c)
“Most everyone’s mad here. You might’ve already noticed I’m not all there. Not All My Head!”
(More direct translation of the incantation would be, “Everybody's weird here. You've noticed that already, haven't you?”)
It doesn’t just refract the light and make Chenya appear invisible; his body is literally NOT there. This explains why Riddle’s UM doesn’t work Chenya—there is literally nothing there to collar.
cHENYA bULLIES RiDDLE A LIRTKE BY HsRaiNH An EmBaarRsING StORY 😭
Anyway, Riddle has challenged Chenya many times but lost because Chenya is an expert at avoidance. Riddle uses up his magic and burns out easily.
Oooh? Chenya talks about a special language his grandpa taught him. It reminds me of Riddlish from Ever After High.
Trey’s ideal Heartslabyul… it’s one with loose rules, a huge ass kitchen that can be used freely, and a dorm leader that is easygoing. It’s pretty mild and grounded.
Trey asks the third years to sample a prototype lemon jelly and yogurt dessert for him. The only sweetener is honey so eve Cater should be okay with it—and Chenya won’t be mad if someone violates the “dorm leader gets the first bite rule”, even if desserts like jellies are excluded from that rule. Cater agrees but insists that Trey joins them.
dhisbwkwnw Leona has meat pie instead of the lemon dessert. Trey wants to make more to feed his guests and decides to make enough for all of the dorm.
The first years are drooling and jealous that the third years get to eat when they’re supposed to be investigating!
Cater is impressed that Silver had the fortitude to go through so many dreams. He thinks he may have given up a while ago if he were in Silver’s shoes???
Trey says he likes baking because it is satisfying to see the finished product—and others can enjoy it too, so it is killing two birds with one stone. Even Riddle is able to eat as much as he wants now. Apparently Riddle was the close to the same age as Trey’s younger brother at the time (Trey was 9 or 10; Riddle is one year older than the Clover brother). Trey describes Riddle as very mature for his age.
Hmm, interesting… The part of Riddle’s past where his mom caught him eating a strawberry tart remains unchanged.
LMAO the Clovers got scolded for 5 hours by Mrs. Rosehearts… Trey claims he and his family now laugh about the incident. Out group theorizes that this is result of trauma; it’s Trey’s way of coping.
Oh????? Trey says Riddle has changed a lot since he left his parents. Due to Chenya’s encouragement, Riddle now eats as much as he wants. Apparently both he and Chenya see Riddle like a little brother and they love seeing him be able to grow up.
ASGYUGYASNNYFOYADSSD Leona's theories keep being proven wrong in these dreams... He theorizes that Trey might have been angry when he became vice dorm leader, but Cater says that's not the case.
Trey was very excited when Riddle entered NRC; he told the other Heartslabyul students that his childhood acquaintance is joining the school. Although Riddle is quiet, he is talented at magic and Trey hopes they get along well. But then when Riddle enrolled, he was a completely different person than how Trey remembered him. He had developed a short fuse and become very controlling... cutting himself off from his feelings in order to rule. Riddle also acts detached from Trey.
In the flashback we see, Riddle has a heart mark. I guess this is what he had in reality too, not just the dream world.
Anyway, when time came to appoint a vice dorm leader (dorm members vote for them), Trey kind of got handed the job. Cater suggests it was probably tough on Trey to see that Riddle had changed so much; at one point, Riddle even beheaded Trey because the rules do not discriminate. He also suggests that maybe Chenya is in Trey's dream so that both friends can be present to support Riddle.
ajbuasiodyasida CATER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT... He confesses that he's always a spectator and now, seeing this, he wonders if he should have done more or intervened sooner.
UUUUUUH, there's a big BOOM!!???!! heard over Idia's tablet. It sounds like the other group is in trouble! But what are they dealing with...?
... Oh. OH.
THIS IS LITERALLY THE TWST ORB MERCH 😭😭😭😭😭 Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber... and round Cater and Riddle...
uMMMMMMMM I feel like I learned about one of Trey’s secret special interests and I don’t like it one bit 🪦
Riddle is now the tallest second year... bigger than a horse... How is he gonna ride Vorpal?! Ace and the others are in distress, saying that he can't do basketball and Deuce can't do track and field with those round bodies!!
We attempt to fight the massive dream!Heartslabyul boys, but it's useless!! Silver tries to form a barrier, but the dream!boys just roll too fast and knock him over before he can complete the spell! Cater tells Leona to use his UM to help out, but Leona can't because there would be collateral damage if used in an enclosed space.
The dream!boys try to convince Trey to stay in the dream but they start to present information that doesn't make sense. For example, dream!Riddle does not care about nutritional content; he will eat anything if it's something Trey made! Dream!Cater starts to eat a bunch of sweets to demonstrate his willingness to consume what Trey makes for them; ah, but that's not right either because in the real world, Cater doesn't like sweets at all!
Trey is able to wake up on his own...!
Aaaand we got the context for his groovy...? AFBADAVADSPB SO THE CATER AND RIDDLE PICTURED HERE, LOOKING DOWN AT HIM... IT'S THE ROUND ASS ONES AKHLBAFSIYBAFIYVAFOV8YQEOVYPQRWBFUEFABIHFDIB THAT MAKES THIS ILLUSTRATION SO MUCH LESS SERIOUSSSSSSSS
There's a big BOOM!! BHLFBIAFSIYBAFSIBYADFBIADVBLDFS LEONA SANDED SOME OF THE BIG ORBS?? ? ?? ? ? ???? ? ? Bye-bye, round Adeuce...
We rally with Trey and he has an admittedly cool line... "Don't talk with your mouth full. It's poor manners under the law of the Queen of Hearts!"
After the darkness is dispelled, Trey is caught up to speed and expresses he's not sure if a normal mage like him can be of much use against Malleus; why didn't they go for Riddle, who is way more powerful, first? asfhbasyuvfgfyoaodasi Ace has a cute moment where he reminds Trey that it was HIS unique magic that overrode Riddle's and saved his ass. Besides, we need Trey to help out with Riddle. He's Riddle's bestie, right?
HAHAHAHAHAHAFHAFH Sebek quietly says he is indebted to Trey... I just think about how Sebek has said Trey reminds him of his father OTL Ace whines about how Sebek treats him and Trey so differently and Sebek shouts that a third year will actually be HELPFUL, unlike Ace. afbaiuliafiefa GIRLIEPOPS YOUR BICKERING PLEASES ME... continue--
Cater takes a picture of Trey in his chef clothes before he swaps over to his dorm uniform; he wants to show Riddle later! I think Trey also brings along a strawberry tart...? Not sure if it transfers from dream to dream or if I'm misunderstanding the wording there.
Then they all gather around Silver and move on to Riddle's dream! (Leona closes off this section with a banger line about how it's time to get back on the small crowded bus. LMAO)
Alright, so what were my overall thoughts on this update? I definitely feel as though the writers got better at writing the dreams as they continued. The first few felt awkward and stilted, but the more recently ones (Savanaclaw and Heartslabyul) are noticeably smoother, even when kept in the confines of already established patterns.
I really appreciated how often Leona was kept telling everyone to shut up and move on with the story. He sounds so tired, annoyed, and wanting to get to the end of book 7 already. It feels like the devs are speaking to us through Leona bilfiaylasdpasod
I'm a little surprised that Ace didn't get his UM in his dream, but I guess maybe they're saving it for the very end battle? I find it suspicious that he brings up and laments his lack of UM while talking about how he's a "normal" mage that doesn't stand a chance against a big boss like Malleus. This sounds like intentional foreshadowing for that confrontation.
As I expected, Ace had a special interaction with Sebek, much like most of the other first years have. (I've updated my "Sebek and the first years in book 7" analysis post based on this.) Ace capping things off by openly calling out Sebek's flaws helps to bring everything full circle. I was also pretty spot-on about Ace's dream covering Yuu being able to stay in Twisted Wonderland. I'm surprised that they did the "Yuu can go between the two worlds as they like" thing; it's a very convenient idea proposed by many theorists in the fandom in order to maintain having Yuu as the POV character in Twst while also allowing Yuu (the in-universe character) to be able to return to their friends/family back home. More and more... the dreams feel like vague fanfiction addressing some fun fandom theories and ideas.
I found it really fascinating that Trey's dream didn't erase the moment in his life that tore Riddle away from him. I wonder if the trauma is just so deep-rooted that even Malleus's magic couldn't get rid of it...? Or if the event was framed by the magic as something sad that had to happen so he could spoil Riddle and give him a happy life now??? I can also understand an interpretation in which Trey feeds others or does his best to help them out even if he finds it bothersome because some part of him still holds onto that immense guilt he feels for his role in the Tart Incident. And in that sense, it's the dream allowing Trey to indulge others without stop, without moderation--a weakness of his that he was warned about in Vil's Labwear vignettes.
asdlhbasnyurnoabafsi NOT GONNA LIE, TREY'S DREAM IS GOING TO GIVE ME NIGHTMARES. Don't get me wrong, I love how whimsical it is, and how he can just enjoy baking to his heart's content. I also love that we get Chenya's UM name and incantation, as well as more about how it actually works. HOWEVER. The massive spheres that Trey made of his dorm members freak me out 💀 THERE'S SOMETHING SO GROTESQUE ABOUT MASSIVE BODIES WITH SMUSHED TINY FACES ROLLING AROUND TO CRUSH PEOPLE...
The MVP this update was most definitely Cater. I was shocked to see how proactive he was. He took the lead in both Ace and Trey's dreams and we got to see him put his craftiness to some good use. Stepping up for the first years, roping the other third years into helping him, even not hesitating to kick Ace's stubborn ass... I hate to say it, but I could really see Cater's dashing big brother side coming out here 🤡 YES I AM UNFORTUNATELY PREDICTABLE I had to pause reading so many times to go, "Waaaah, Cay-kun is so cool!!" which is not a thought I typically have. I'm also such a big fan of him regretting his past actions (or rather, inaction) and finally FINALLY being able to verbalize some of his deepest and most concealed feelings to other characters. When Cater thanked Ace for what he said back when Riddle overblotted... man, it hit me right in the heart.
Sebek was also pretty bashful this update. I don’t think I’ve heard him being quite so… humbled??? His quiet voice is cute 🥰 Was not expecting Silver to speak sternly to him though. The shouting came put of nowhere??? And it’s not as though you aren’t part of the problem for spoiling him, Silver…
Those are my thoughts for this update! I'll see you in the next one. Riddle's dream, on the 7th...!!
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland#twst jp#twisted wonderland jp#book 7 chapter 12 part 2 spoilers#Ace Trappola#Trey Clover#Yuu#Grim#Silver#Sebek Zigvolt#Idia Shroud#Ortho Shroud#Ignihyde#Leona Kingscholar#notes from the writing raven#Cater Diamond#Deuce Spade#Heartslabyul#book 1 spoilers#Malleus Draconia#lost in the book with stitch spoilers#Chenya#Che'nya#haruhi fukioka#ouran high school host club#ohshc
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FALLING FOR YOU WILL SMITH
pairing: will smith x marleau!daughter!reader
summary: a visit to the guest house, in an attempt to comfort will after a grueling loss, brings you two closer together than ever.
warnings: friends to lovers, pretty detailed make out scene, talks of being insecure
wc: 2.02k
notes: !!IMPORTANT!! i absolutely do not agree with the politics of the marleau family, they are simply being used as a plot device in this. pretend for the sake of this that the family are not bigots.
The house is silent except for the distant hum of the refrigerator and the occasional creak of old wood settling in the night. Shadows stretch long and languid across the hallway, cast by the dim glow of the streetlamp filtering through the curtains. You move with practiced stealth, each step careful. Years of navigating this house have taught you exactly which floorboards creak under a footstep, which door hinges squeak in protest when nudged too far. Even still, your breath stills in your chest as you slip past your parent's bedroom door, past your brothers' rooms, your heart beating a steady rhythm of anticipation. The guest house isn’t far — just across the backyard — but trying to tiptoe in absolute silence past your parents' bedroom door and past your brothers' doors makes it feel like an eternity away.
Will had looked wrecked when he came home. The Sharks game had been brutal, a 7-2 loss to Florida, and not even his highlight-reel goal could shift the dejection that settled over him like a heavy coat. You saw it in his posture the moment he stepped off the rink: the slump of his shoulders, the tight line of his mouth, the way he avoided the gaze of everyone in the locker room. You had seen it in the post-game debrief he always did with your dad, his fingers tapping an anxious rhythm against his thigh. You didn’t have to ask to know what was running through his mind. You felt like you knew his thoughts as though they were your own.
It wasn’t always like this. When Will first moved in, things had been awkward. He was polite — too polite. He made his bed with military precision, thanked your mom after every meal, and practically sprinted out of the room whenever he sensed he might be intruding on family time. You weren’t sure if it was out of respect or if he was just trying to survive in an unfamiliar house. Either way, it took weeks before he loosened up, before the sharp edges of his formality softened into something more comfortable.
Somewhere along the way, he had become your closest friend. He was the person you whispered late-night confessions to, the one who could tell when you needed someone to listen rather than someone to talk. And it went both ways. You had spent hours sprawled across the couch in the guest house, talking about everything and nothing. You told him about school, about how you weren’t sure if biology was what you actually wanted to study. It was supposed to be the safe, responsible choice, the thing that made sense. But the more you immersed yourself in it, the more it felt like wearing a sweater that didn’t quite fit. He listened, really listened, in a way that made you feel like you weren’t overthinking things. And in return, he let you see the parts of himself he hid from the world.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he had admitted one night, voice rough with exhaustion. “I mean, I know what I should be doing. I know what’s expected of me. But every time we lose, every time I don’t produce, it feels like — I don’t know. Like I’m letting everyone down.”
You had seen the articles, heard the analysts questioning whether he was adjusting well enough to the NHL, whether he was living up to expectations. You knew he heard them, too, no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise.
Will knew he was living with Patrick Marleau so he could be moulded into a better player, something like what the Sharks legend once was. But some nights, it felt like you had done more for Will than your father ever had.
The guest house is dark except for the thin sliver of light spilling beneath the door. You knock, softly. A pause. Then the rustling of movement before the door swings open, revealing Will standing in the dim glow of the lamp inside. His hair is damp from a shower, curling at the edges, and he’s wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants that hang low on his hips. His eyes widen slightly when he sees you, surprise flickering across his face before he steps aside to let you in.
“You should be asleep,” he says, voice rough with exhaustion.
“So should you.” You cross the room, your socked feet near silent against the hardwood. “But we both know that’s not happening.”
He exhales, a ghost of a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. He collapses onto the couch, the television murmuring in the background showing a post-game analysis droning on about the Sharks’ mistakes. He doesn’t mute it, but his focus is entirely on you as you settle beside him, pulling your knees up to your chest.
The room is heavy with unspoken words, the kind that settles in the air and refuses to dissipate. Will’s eyes flick to the television, then back to you, his jaw tight.
“Tough game,” you say softly.
Will’s jaw tightens. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I know I played like shit.”
You tilt your head, watching him carefully. “I don’t think you did.”
Will shakes his head, eyes dark with frustration. “We lost by five. Doesn’t matter if I scored, doesn’t matter if I had the best shift of my life. We still lost.”
Your heart clenches. “Will, the team is rebuilding. You knew that coming in.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think I’d be a part of the problem.”
“You’re not.”
He shakes his head, jaw tight. “It doesn’t feel that way.”
He doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he leans back, tilting his head against the couch cushions, eyes slipping shut. His breathing evens out, slow and measured, but the tension in his shoulders doesn’t fade.
You shift slightly, resting your chin on your knees. “You’re a rookie in the NHL. You’re playing against the best in the world every night. No one expects you to carry this team, least of all yourself.”
He scoffs but doesn’t argue. “You’re getting better every game,” you continue, voice gentle but firm. “And the guys in that locker room? They know that. This season isn’t about wins, it’s about building something. And you’re a part of that foundation.”
Will lifts his head and shifts slightly, angling his body toward you. His eyes search yours, dark and unreadable. “How do you always know what to say?”
You shrug, offering a small smile. “I pay attention.”
A beat of silence. Then you notice it — the way his gaze lingers on your face, tracing over your features with something heavy and intent. You suddenly feel warm, hyper-aware of the fact that he’s shirtless, toned torso on full display, and the way his breathing has changed, now slightly uneven.
“What?” you ask, your own voice quieter now.
He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, his tongue flicks out, wetting his lips, and his head tilts slightly. His gaze lingers, sweeping over your face with an intensity that makes your pulse stutter. The air between you shifts, thickens, as if something unspoken has settled into the space, waiting to be acknowledged.
“Will,” you say softly, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. “What?”
He exhales slowly, shaking his head with a half-smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t make me spell it out for you.”
Your breath catches in your throat. “Spell what out?”
His eyes darken, and his fingers twitch slightly where they rest against his thigh. He leans in just enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the heat radiating off his skin, the scent of clean soap and something undeniably him.
“You know I want you.”
The words send a shiver down your spine. Your lips part slightly, but no sound comes out. He watches you, waiting, giving you a moment to react, to pull away if you want to. But you don’t. You can’t.
Because you want him too.
The realization hits you with startling clarity, and before you can second-guess it, you close the space between you. It’s tentative at first, a brush of lips, a question unspoken. But the moment his mouth moves against yours, the hesitation dissolves. His hand comes up, cupping the side of your face, his thumb skimming over your cheekbone as he deepens the kiss.
Your fingers settle against his bare shoulders, the warmth of his skin beneath your touch making your head spin. He kisses you like he’s been waiting for this, like he’s thought about it just as much as you have. There’s something desperate in the way he pulls you closer, something that tells you he’s afraid this might not be real.
You pull back just enough to whisper against his lips, “Will.”
His forehead rests against yours, his breathing uneven. “Yeah?”
Your heart hammers against your ribs. “I want you too.”
His breath hitches, and then he’s kissing you again, slow and deep, like he wants to memorize the shape of your mouth against his. Will pulls away, but barely, his eyes searching yours.
“You sure about this?” Will’s voice is rough, barely more than a whisper, his breath mingling with yours in the space between you.
You nod, barely, but it’s enough. “Yeah.”
That’s all it takes. He exhales sharply, like he’s been holding his breath this whole time, and then he’s kissing you again. This time, there’s nothing hesitant about it. It’s deep and slow and intoxicating, like he’s savoring every second, like he’s afraid to rush something he’s wanted for so long.
His hands find your waist, warm and firm, fingers flexing as if grounding himself in the moment. You shift instinctively, moving closer until your knees are brushing his solid thigh, until there’s no space left between you. Your hands slide over his shoulders, tracing down to his chest, resting on him as you lean closer. He shivers under your cold fingers, just barely, and the realization that you affect him just as much as he affects you sends a thrill through your veins.
Will’s hands move down to the backs of your thighs, pulling you into his lap in one fluid motion, his strength effortless. You let out a surprised gasp, breaking the kiss for just a second, but his hands splayed against your back, holding you close. He grins, eyes dark with something wickedly fond.
“Better?” he murmurs, voice dripping with amusement.
Your lips curl into a grin, but your heart is racing. “Shut up.”
His laughter is quiet, a vibration against your chest, but it fades as his gaze dips to your lips again. He kisses you like he means it, like he’s wanted to do this forever. His hands trace slow, soothing patterns against your back, anchoring you to him.
The television drones on in the background, forgotten, the post-game analysis long past. The only thing that exists at this moment is the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the way his hands cradle your face like you’re something precious. He kisses you with an aching sort of tenderness like he’s memorizing you, like he never wants to forget what this feels like.
When he finally pulls back, just enough to look at you properly, his expression is unreadable — something caught between wonder and disbelief. He exhales a quiet, breathy laugh, shaking his head slightly.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” he admits, voice rough with emotion.
You run your fingers through his hair, smoothing the damp curls away from his forehead. “I can.”
Will's lips curve into a slow, lopsided smile, something soft and unguarded. His fingers trace lazy patterns against your back, like he’s committing the moment to memory.
“Yeah?” he murmurs.
You nod, brushing your nose against his. “Yeah.”
For the first time all night, the weight of the loss seems to ease off his shoulders. He exhales, a quiet, content sound, and lets his forehead rest against yours.
“Stay?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. “With me… tonight?”
You don’t hesitate. “Always.”
And as he pulls you closer, the Sharks' loss feels like a distant memory — because for once, in this tiny, quiet moment, Will Smith isn’t thinking about hockey at all.
#will smith hockey#will smith imagine#will smith x reader#nhl#nhl imagine#hockey#hockey imagine#san jose sharks#`✦ˑ ✒️ 𓂃⊹ my works
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Matt talking about Bambi Compilation
Summary: A tiktok compilation of Matt finding ways to talk about or bring up Bambi
Warnings: swearing, talks of fluff, Matt being a simp, Matt being in love and cute Bambi and Matt stories
Bambi sighed opening her eyes, she had been laying in bed, her back pressed into Matt's chest for about an hour with no luck falling asleep, no matter how hard she tried she ended up just staring at the wall. After a minute she leaned over to the bedside table grabbing her phone and opening tik tok, making sure that the brightness and sound of her phone didn't wake Matt up.
She scrolled aimlessly barely paying attention to the videos when she scrolled past a video that she had assumed was a Matt edit only to see her name as she scrolled down, she quickly scrolled back up pausing and reading the title.
'Matthew Sturniolo Finding Any Excuse to Bring Up Bambi Compilation'
A small smile formed on her face, she didn't think Matt brought her up that much but apparently the fans thought otherwise. She looked over at Matt for a second before looking at the screen unpausing and getting comfortable.
Clip 1. from THEY'RE A 10 BUT... they aren’t your valentine
Matt sat in the drivers seat looking at his phone clearly not really paying attention that much
"They're a ten but every time you ask them a question they say 'huh' but when you go to repeat yourself they finish the question then answer it."
Chris snickered slightly "That shits so ann-"
"That's not that bad" Matt immediately cut him off finally looking up from his phone a little defensive.
"Kid what are you talking about that shit is really fucking annoying"
Matt glared at his brother "It isn't that annoying. I say 10"
Before Chris could respond Nick started to laugh "I know that look"
"What loo-"
Nick and Chris both cut him off in unison "The 'I'm about to bring up Bambi look'"
Matt smiled sheepishly looking away for a moment before looking back at his brothers "Okay but she can't help it. She isn't saying what cause she can't hear you, it just takes her a second to register what you're saying."
His brothers sighed leaning back, they knew Matt was about to go on a rant about Bambi
"She's literally perfect. Her doing that doesn't change the fact that she's a 10, scratch that shes a 100. You two are just-"
"We get it Matt, Bam is a goddess"
"And don't you forget it."
Clip 2. From Ghost Hunting at Haunted Driskill Hotel (ft. Sturniolo Triplets)
The triplets stood near Sam and Colby, Chris and Nick explaining that they had spent the last month studying their videos to prepare for this Collab.
The boys all turned to Matt for his answer.
He grinned like a kid on Christmas. "My girlfriend, Bambi, has been watching your guys videos for a few years"
Nick and Chris groaned knowing Matt was waiting for an opportunity to bring up Bambi.
"So I feel like out of Nick, Chris and I, I might be the most prepared for this."
"Just wait, this won't be the first time he brings up Bambi this video"
Clip 3. From 20 year olds playing with kids toys.
Matt held Snowy the lambs leash looking at Nick and Chris. "Pretend Bambi and I have a kid right-"
"Does Bambi know about this?!?"
"Shut up Chris." He motioned back to Snowy. "And this is our baby, and we're introducing them to you for the first time, You guys are uncles for the first time and it's Snowy!"
Nick made a face "This is getting a little to realistic to me, but continue"
"This is all normal okay."
Chris looked weirded out and a bit jealous. "Is this a disclaimer or something?"
"Shhhhh,"
Clip 4. From RATING A DOZEN CRAZY DONUTS 1-12 (Special appearance from Bambi) *May make a blurb on this*
Chris was annoying the shit out of Matt with his constant badgering about the donuts ratings.
"You know what we need, an unbiased opinion. Someone who's likes donuts but it really picky....."
Chris looked up confused not fully registering what he was saying, but Nick knew what he was saying "I couldn't agree more"
Chris realized what they were implying and smiled having a feeling that he was gonna win in this case. "Fine"
"Should I get her?" Matt waited for them to both nod to stand up "Baby, can you come here for a second!"
After a second Bambi walked into frame in a pair of grey sweats and a blue tub top "What's going on?" She noticed the camera and smiled waving slightly.
"We need your help" They spoke in unison.
Clip 5. Waffles, Pancakes, or French Toast (Ft. Bambi)
"Matt, you are such a fucking baby and I hate it! Cause I know what you're gonna say. You like chocolate chip cookies as if you're not about to be fucking 19 years old"
Nick made a face "Chocolate chip pancakes?"
"Yeah chocolate chip pancakes" Chris corrected rolling his eyes.
"Good, I was about to say what do cookies have to do with this"
Chris ignored him continuing continuing his rant, his annoyance clear.
"Matt have you ever gone to Denny's and gotten the french toast slam?"
"No but i've gotten chocolate chip pancakes from there"
"And they were fucking gross I bet"
Matt rolled his eyes turning away and opening his phone "You're fucking gross" he shut out what his brothers were speaking about texting someone, after a moment he looked up. "You know who I bet agrees with me?
"Who Matt?"
Matt smiled "Bambi"
A loud scoff left Chris' mouth "There is no way Bam-Bam agrees with you"
"Wanna bet" Matt laughed pressing the call button.
"Dude, she's probably sleeping hang up"
"She's not sleeping, we were just texting-"
Suddenly the phone stopped ringing "Hey"
Matt smiled hearing her voice "Hey Bam. We have a question for you"
"What's the question?"
"If you had to get rid of pancakes, waffles or french toast. What would you get rid of?"
They all waited patiently for her to answer.
"Do you want me to answer honestly?"
Both Chris and Matt answered immediately "Yes"
"Honestly, I'd get rid of waffles or french toast" She laughed.
"YES!"
"WHAT?! Bambi, how could you get rid of waffles or french toast?" Chris was absolutely flabbergasted.
"I'm not the biggest breakfast person. When I go to diners I normally get a bacon cheese burger and fries. But I do really like pancakes just not from a diner. I'd rather make them at home"
Chris looked appalled "So you'd get rid of waffles or french toast"
"Yeah, but I think I'd get rid of french toast if I absolutely had to choose"
"WHAT?!?!"
Matt looked like he was on cloud 9 "Bam, have I ever told you how much I freaking love you?"
"Not nearly as much as you should"
"Well I'll start telling you more. Thank you for answering"
"No problem, I'll see you guys tomorrow" With that she hung up.
Bambi was a giggling mess when the tik tok ended, she suddenly felt Matt's grip on her tightening.
"Maybe Nick and Chris are right....I do talk about you a lot." Matt mumbled groggily.
She turned over putting her phone down, her nose immediately brushing his. "It's okay.... I like it, makes me feel loved"
"Good, that's all I want" He leaned in tiredly kissing her.
Comments
User432: The fact that you can see how in love with her he is just by the way he lights up when he says or hears her name! STAWP!
User000: I didn't realize how much I needed this
User420; Need someone to love me like that
boarders made by @bernardsbendystraws
Tagged:
@sturnmeovr @big-poppa23 @colorthecosmos444
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#bambi!reader#childhood friend!reader#nick sturniolo#neighbor!matt sturniolo#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo friday#sturniolo smut#tiktok#scorpio1205
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The Augmentor part 1
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Pairing: F! reader x Sevika
Set in season 1 between act 1 & 2.
Augmentor: Someone who specializes in augmenting the human body with mechanical or Shimmer-enhanced parts.
Summary: You’re a well-known augmentor in Zaun who - through your sibling Ran - take on a special commission to make Sevika a mechanical prosthetic after her accident.
CW: alcohol use, swearing, smoking,
Word count: 4.2k
AN: this is my first Arcane fic! It's a bit long, but I'm FINALLY happy with it after working on it slowly for WEEKS. This is basically just my MDD universe lol. (There will probably be a part 2). Hope you enjoy ~
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
The music from your speakers was blasting in your workshop, you were bopping your head to the beat while working on a rusty prosthetic leg a customer had dropped off for you to fix. Smoke filled your nostrils as the cigarette you put out in your ashtray didn’t completely extinguish. You didn’t hear the elevator doors open and someone entering your workshop until the volume of your music dropped. You quickly turned around to face the elevator to see Ran through your goggles standing by the speaker.
“Ran!” You propped the goggles you were wearing onto your head and smiled at seeing your sibling dropping by for a surprise visit. “Didn’t expect to see you in here today. Your hand need a fix?”
“Hey, no, I actually have something to ask of you,” Ran said as they made their way down the steps into your shop. You put your tool down and spun around on your stool to face Ran, inviting them to keep talking.
“So, you need to hear me out on this one, YN - I need you to do a commission, -” Ran said and leaned on one of your workbenches.
“I don't know Ran; you know I don't really do commissions anymore. Just doing repairs is so much better,” you said the second you heard them say commission, turning your attention back to fixing the metal leg laid out on your workbench.
You had stopped accepting commissions after overworking yourself, and now you ran your business only doing repairs and occasionally some modifications for people who already had mechanical prosthetics. Doing commissions wasn’t easy work, it took months of work, long hours, loads of people involved and a lot of planning, so you decided to take a step back and work on a much smaller scale.
Ran walked closer to you. “It’s an important request, and I seriously need you to consider doing this job. I told them about your work. We really think you’re the best augmentor in Zaun for this job.” Ran flexed their prosthetic hand, which you had made for them several years ago. You sighed again and glanced at their hand before continuing your work.
“It’s a request from Silco - Sevika needs a mechanical prosthetic,” your heart jumped at the sound of her name. “I know you heard of her accident. They know of your previous work, and they want you to do it; they specifically requested you. The pay is really good, it’s from Silco’s pockets, so you’ll be compensated for your time and hassle, and then some.” Ran really tried to sell you this gig, and you could feel the desperation in their voice. “And I know you have a thing for Sevika, you know-”
“I do not!” you interrupted Ran and snapped your head in their direction. “What makes you say that?!”
“YN, she’s totally your type, and I’ve noticed the way you look at her and act whenever she’s nearby - you get all stiff and nervous.”
You stayed quiet for a moment. “Is it that obvious?” You almost whispered.
“To me it is,” Ran smirked.
You had met Sevika several times at The Last Drop whenever you were out drinking with Ran or your friends. You had never really spoken, but you knew that she knew who you were; all the shared glances, the drinks sent to your table, thanking her by raising your glass in her direction, your blushing and fiddling. You had always been too nervous to approach her; she seemed to distant, and so unattainable.
“Fuck,” you muttered and couldn’t help but crack a smile. “ I don't know. It’s always too much work doing commissions - the clients always have way too high expectations, they never respect the timeframe I give them, they don't pay what they owe. It’s always such a hassle,” you explained, sliding the goggles off your head and running a hand through your hair. “Plus, if it’s for Sevika I’m gonna be all nervous, what if affects my work and I don't deliver her a good product?”
“YN, it’s gonna be fine. Just do what you’re good at. Please just come meet with them, have a chat about your conditions and the pay. I already told them I would talk to you and bring you in for a meeting tonight.”
You tilted your head back and sighed hard, looking over at Ran. “Ok, fine,” you said, and Ran quickly muttered a quiet “yes”.
Ran came running towards you and wrapped their arms around yours. “You’re gonna do great, I know it.” You wrapped your arms around Ran and squeezed before getting up, both of you disengaging from the hug. “And, maybe you and Sevika can get to know each other a little better-”
“Ran!” You interrupted them and hit them playfully on their arm. “Inappropriate! She’s my customer at this point.”
"Alright, fine,” Ran chuckled. “Just, don't promise them anything you can’t deliver. And don’t let them rush you.” Ran squeezed your arm.
“Don't worry, I won’t. Let’s just go.”
-
The atmosphere at The Last Drop was calmer than usual. The last time you visited was to get a few drinks after work with Ran on a busy night. The same night you had seen Sevika sitting at her usual table, cards in hand and a hefty sum of coins in front of her, the other men around the table looking stressed out with their heads in their hands.
Ran leads the two of you through the bar and up the stairs towards Silco’s office. Outside the door were two guards keeping an eye on the people passing by. They saw Ran and opened the door for the two of you, one of them following you inside.
Inside the office, Silco sat at his desk, and Sevika to your left, sitting on the sofa, a cigarette in her mouth and a whiskey bottle and a glass on the table in front of her. You also noticed that her hair was down, and not in her usual half up half down hairdo; it looked good - maybe even cute.
Ran greeted the two with a nod and closed the door behind you.
“Ran, good to see you,” Silco said from the other side of the room, a cloud of smoke swirled around him from his cigar. “This is the augmentor?”
“Yes, sir. This is YN. She’s agreed to come talk over some terms and hear more about the job.” Ran said and sat down at a round table to the right side of the room. You were stood in the middle of the room as you felt Sevika’s eyes on, leaving your stomach in knots.
Silco looked over at you and stood up from his chair behind the desk and walked in front of it. “Alright. What are these… conditions?” He pointed his hand, which had his cigar resting between his fingers, towards you for you to speak.
“Well, first of all, I’m gonna need to know exactly what you’re commissioning,” you said and put your bag on the floor beside the low table to your left. “I’m assuming it’s not just a mechanical prosthetic.” You crossed your arms over your chest and peeked at Sevika, your eyes met for a brief moment before you looked away, to her left arm, or whatever was left of it, which was covered by her cloak.
Silco quickly took the word: “You’re right. It’s going to be used for fighting, as well as just being a prosthetic. Enhance its strength with shimmer, in a way that makes it more responsive and lethal. Find a way for shimmer to be injected into Sevika’s bloodstream in small doses. Obviously it needs to be sturdy and durable; it needs to withstand blows and return them twice as hard. The attachment needs to be secure - no risk of it coming loose, but make sure it's flexible enough for her to move freely. You’re making a weapon, not an ornament. This sound like something you could do?”
You suddenly felt a little nervous having everyone’s eyes on you, waiting for your response. You looked at Silco.
“Of course, not a problem. But if I am to agree to this, I have a couple of terms. I have my own team of doctors and surgeons who are experienced with installing mechanical prosthetics. And if you want the commission to be done faster, I expect a supply of shimmer. I also want one month pay up front before starting the mech.”
Silco was looking at you as you named your terms, almost threatening. “And a few free drinks from your bar would be nice... Sir,” you added. You heard a light chuckle from Sevika at your last comment.
Silco and Sevika exchanged a look before Sevika broke the silence. “Sounds like reasonable terms to me, sir.” She took a swig from her glass, finishing her drink.
“I can get behind your terms. But I need to know an approximate timeframe,” Silco said as he took a puff of his cigar.
“Usually for mechs like this, the planning and design will take about a week, the manufacturing of the arm itself will take anywhere from three to six weeks. Then there’s the installation, recovery and physical adaptation, which I’m guessing in total will be about three weeks at max, but I’m gonna have to hear with my doctors on that one. So, in total, if everything goes to plan, about two months. But with some shimmer, I will be able to work faster and more efficiently, and Sevika’s healing period will also be sped up.”
A silence grew in the room. You could tell Silco was digesting what you just explained. “I imagine that you probably want this to be done much faster, but good work takes time. I promise you that I will make this commission my top priority moving forward. But I’m not going to rush this to a point where I feel like my craftsmanship gets diminished.”
Another silence fell over the room until Silco broke it. “Alright, you’ve got yourself a job, YN. Don’t disappoint me. I will supply you with shimmer. Don't forget that I want it done as soon as possible.” Silco voice way low, almost threatening. He turned his back to you and sat back down behind his desk. “When will you be able to start?”
“I can have you come over to my workshop tomorrow so I can have a proper look at you,” you said and looked at Sevika - she nodded in agreement.
“Great. You two have a plan. You,” Silco said, pointing at the guard standing behind you by the door. “Get the girl her pay.” The guard nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind you.
“I’m gonna need your address,” Sevika leant forward and looked at you with an intimidating look, taking a long puff of her cigarette and exhaling it through her nose. She looked really good. Fuck. You tried to push your thoughts aside; you had to remain professional.
“Oh! Right, of course!” Your nerves had gotten to you. You grabbed your notebook and pencil from your bag on the floor and scribbled down your name and the address, the name of your workshop, as well drawing a quick silly doodle at the end of it out of habit and handed the note to Sevika.
“You enter through what looks like a tinker’s shop, or a salvage shop, you’ll see a sign that says Junk and Joints and loads of scrap in the windows - can’t miss it. Just tell whoever’s in there you’re there for me and they’ll send you down,” you explained. You thought you saw a slight smile tug at Sevika’s lips as she looked at your note.
The door opened and the guard came back with two pouches in his hands. He walked over to Silco who was sitting at his desk reading over some paperwork. Silco looked at the pouches, squinted and waved his hand before looking back down at his papers. The guard walked over to you and dropped the two heavy pouches on the table in front of you. “Your pay.” The guard said and exited the room again.
“Ooh, thank you…” you muttered and looked inside them. In one of them was your money. In the other, vials of shimmer, looking to be enough to last you about two weeks. You put them in your bag along with your notebook.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she looked up at you and gave you a slight nod, her face back to being stern with her cigarette hanging from her lips.
Your heart fluttered for a second before speaking. “Yeah, I’ll see you.” Ran came up behind you and put their hand on your shoulder and walked towards the door. You quickly flung the now heavier bag over your shoulder and exited the office with Ran.
As you heard the door shut behind you, Ran turned to you. “You did good. They seemed to like you.”
“Were you concern they wouldn’t?” you said playfully as you walked down the metal staircase.
“No, not really, but they don't fuck around. You would know if they didn’t like you.”
“Shit ok, I’m glad you didn’t tell me that beforehand - I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool.” You walked to the front door before stopping and turning to Ran. “I’m gonna head to the shop and get started on some ideas. I’ll see you soon.”
“Good luck,” Ran gave you a quick hug. “See you!” You waved at Ran and headed out.
-
You were sitting at your workbench doodling in your notebook with a cigarette between your lips - your music was playing from your speaker, but this time it didn’t drown out the sound of the elevator arriving at your floor. You felt your heart race as you saw Sevika stepping into your workshop.
“This a good time?” she asked and looked around.
You shot up from your stool and picked your cigarette from your mouth. “P-perfect time! Please, have a seat in my so called - living room,” you stammered and gestured to the other side of the room; an old sofa and two armchairs, and a small run-down coffee table with a few old mugs, an empty wine bottle, a candle and an ashtray.
Sevika walked over and sat down on the sofa against the wall as you hurried over to your speaker to turn the music down, now barely audible.
“Alright, so, I’m gonna ask some questions and I’m gonna need some measurements after,” you walked over to ash your cigarette in the ashtray and took a seat in one of the armchairs, notebook and a pencil in hand.
“I got the whole ‘mechanical shimmer arm that deals possibly fatal blows’ shtick,” you waved your hands in the air as you spoke, “but do you have any other requirements that I should know of before I start?”
“The most important part is functionality. If it can’t win me a fight, it’s useless,” Sevika lit a cigarette, taking a long drag from it before continuing. “It needs to have some sort of buff to it.”
“Shimmer can help enhance the hits by hydraulic force, and as Silco requested, I’ll integrate a shimmer system for both injection, infusion and storage - so I don't think you can get more fit for fight than that.”
She nodded. “It also needs to be durable – I don't want you skimping out on the materials here,” she said in a demanding tone. “Don't have the time to constantly come in for repairs. I need reliability with this thing.”
You nodded your head and smirked. “Of course, only the best.”
Sevika scoffed and took another drag from her cigarette. “And it can’t be too heavy, I’m gonna be wearing it outside of combat as well. So don't go too crazy with your fancy mats.”
“Sure, no problem,” you spent a few minutes jotting down some more ideas in your notebook.
“I made an exception for you, y’know.” You broke the silence.
“That so? Why?”
You shrugged. “I stopped doing commissions, but Ran practically begged me to take this job. And when I heard it was for you, the decision was kind of a no-brainer – it seemed important, so I wanted to help.”
Sevika scoffed, smoke from her cigarette exiting her nostrils. “You and Ran close?”
“You could say that,” you smiled and kept your eyes on your notes. “Alright, if that’s all, I wanna get some measurements of you while you’re here,” you said as you stood up and walked over to your workbench to get some tools, as well as a whiskey bottle you spotted on your shelf.
“You want a drink?” you asked and held up the bottle.
“Sure.” She fumbled with the buckle of her cloak for a few seconds before getting it, she swiftly slid it off and left it on the sofa arm. Under her cloak she was wearing a tank top, revealing her broad shoulders.
You grabbed two clean cups from your shelf. “It’s nothing fancy, just some stuff one of my customers brings along whenever she visits for repairs,” you explained as you walked over to the sofa where Sevika was sitting and put the cups and the bottle on the table. You nervously sat down on her left side and poured the two of you a drink, Sevika immediately finishing hers.
Sevika shrugged. “Not bad. I’ve had worse.”
You took a sip of your drink before turning towards Sevika to finally have a look at her.
It wasn’t the first time you had seen an amputee; you had seen several people having lost anything from legs and arms, to hands, feet, fingers, even noses. Prosthetics was your most common request when you took commissions, and you keep repairing all sorts of prosthetics. But Sevika’s amputee scar looked different. The scar had healed nicely and it looked fine - besides the blue lines going from her healed wound up her shoulder and neck to her cheek, and over her chest, her tank top hiding the full extent of it. They looked like scars, and they almost had a blue shine to them. It kind of looked like she had been struck by lightning. You had never seen anything like it; it looked cool, but you would never dare tell her that.
Sevika leant forward refilling her cup with whiskey as you gently touched her shoulder, she briefly flinched at your touch and gave you a nasty side eye, but didn’t pull away.
“I’m gonna have to touch you, y’know,” you said, your voice almost a whisper.
Sevika scoffed and picked up her cup, bringing it to her lips. “As you please,” she muttered and glanced at you. You felt your cheeks go warm at her comment.
Her shoulder was stiff, but you couldn’t tell if it was because of the amount of muscles this woman had, or her being uncomfortable because she was showing you something vulnerable - or maybe a mix of the two. She probably wore the cloak for a reason.
You got on with the prep work, pulling out your measuring tool to measure her shoulder, jotting down the numbers as well as thoughts and ideas in your notebook, even things you might not even need, just to be sure.
“Could you stand up for me?” you asked and stood up, holding out your measuring tool.
Sevika looked up at you and hesitated for a moment before ashing her cigarette in the ashtray on the table and getting up. You almost gasped at her big frame and height as she stood up in front of you, she glanced down at you, waiting for you to do your thing.
Sevika kept her eyes on you with a stern look as you stepped onto the table to get better access.
“Hold out your arm for me?” you asked quietly. She obeyed, and you measured the length of her arm, as well as the width, quietly muttering the numbers so you would remember.
“How close?” Sevika broke the silence.
“What?”
“You and Ran.”
You chuckled at the fact that Sevika had been thinking about your earlier mention of the two of you being close. “Oh, we grew up together – we’re siblings. Their parents took me in when I was a kid.”
You wrapped the measuring tool around her neck and put your hand behind her to grab onto the tool, looking at the measurement.
“People often think we’re a couple. We don’t quite look alike, but if you know we’re siblings you can tell how our demeanors are similar. And we have the same laugh.”
Standing this close you could smell her; she smelled woody, like cigarettes and whiskey. So hot. You gave her a quick glance and saw that she was looking directly into your eyes, and you couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at your lips.
You snapped out of the moment and stepped down from the table, grabbed your notebook from the table and wrote down the measurements.
You heard a sigh from Sevika as she sat back down. “What the hell are all these measurements for anyway? Aren’t you just making me an arm?” Sevika asked and grabbed her drink.
“A lot of these are just-in-case-numbers; I don't wanna be running around Zaun trying to find you in case I missed a measurement.” You sat back down and kept your notebook in your lap.
“You don't?” Sevika smirked and took another sip of her drink.
You could feel your cheeks get hot again. “Not really, no,” you chuckled. “But if you’re not running around doing Silco’s dirty work, you’ll probably be at The Last Drop.”
“You might be right about that.”
“But – to answer your question, there are a lot of things that go into making a prosthetic arm. I want to get the size of the mech right; don't want it to be loads smaller or larger than your other arm. And I’m gonna be making you a harness.” You took a swig from your drink.
“What am I gonna be needing a harness for?” Sevika asked, her tone was as sharp as usual.
“When you get your arm surgically attached, you’re gonna have to keep it in a harness for a few weeks while it heals. And the weight and feel of the arm is also gonna take some time to get used to - don't wanna fuck up your shoulder. It’s just for the first few weeks,” you explained, keeping your eyes on your notebook. “I don't doubt your strength, but it will get tiring, no matter your physique,” you pointed towards her with your pencil. “Especially if you’re gonna be fighting with this thing.”
“Guess you have a point,” Sevika muttered. “But I can’t be completely useless for too long. I have shit to do - business to deal with.”
“I know you do, but you have to take the healing period seriously. If it doesn’t heal right you’re just gonna make this take even longer.” Your tone was strict.
Sevika just scoffed and took a swig from her cup. Her hand was so big compared to the cup, her fingers to long and her fingernails pristine, which was kind of surprising. You sat there observing her for a few seconds before snapping out of your trance.
“I-uh, have everything I need from you, at least for now,” you put your notebook on the table. “I want you to come back when the first part of the prototype is done so I can make sure it’s a good fit for your shoulder before we commit to anything. Then you’ll also be able to have a look at the blueprints - see if you like the design and stuff.” You leant back into the sofa, putting one leg up, your knee to your chest.
“Sounds good. When do you think that’ll be?” Sevika dragged her cloak back around her shoulders and fumbled with the buckle for a few seconds.
“I think I’m gonna need about a week to design and plan all of it, and about one or two more weeks to make the first parts of the prototype, depending on how long the shimmer Silco supplied will last me.”
“You know how to reach me?” Sevika turned her head to look at you, her face stern, but not intimidating as usual.
“I’ll find a way, but I’m guessing I’ll find you at your usual spot at The Drop.”
“Oh yeah? My usual spot?” Sevika smirked.
“Yeah, I know where you like to sit. Seen you gamble and put some of those crude old men to shame,” you said and chuckled lightly.
“You calling my men crude?”
“Yeah, I am.” You smiled smugly.
“Hm. You might be right,” she grabbed her cup and finished her drink. “Guess I gotta get back to my crude men.” She stood up from the sofa, the weight of her moving shifting you slightly.
“Alright, you do that. I’ll see you in a few weeks!”
“See you.” Sevika gave you a nod and a smirk as she got into the elevator.
#arcane#sevika#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#arcane fanfic#arcane fic#arcane fandom#sevika x female reader#sevika my love#sevika x y/n#fanfiction#fanfic
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Immortality & Longevity in TDP
Because season 7 brought up some very interesting Threads to contrast with the series' previous sentiments on immortality / ridiculously long lifespans. So let's go.
Those Who Naturally Live Forever(-ish)
There are three main camps of characters who experience longevity in TDP.
Those who experience it naturally, but can still die (the Archdragons, some elves)
Those who acquire it through dark magic means
Those who cannot permanently die (the First Elves, Aaravos)
I want to talk about the Group Number One first, because it includes the most characters and was the basis for this meta. Besides Lujanne and Akiyu, we don't know too many elves who have lived for hundreds of plus years, although it wouldn't surprise me if Aditi did. Lujanne and Akiyu are both mages as well, with Lujanne living at the most powerful concentration of Moon magic in the world, so that could be part of the reason why she's lived so long, and Tidebound elves (as Finnegrin had Sea Legs' sister for 40+ years) just naturally live much longer than other types of elves (Moonshadow, Sunfire) as far as we know.
The Archdragons themselves also don't talk much about the length of their lives, since it's a species-shared trait and so second nature to them. However, whenever they do talk about it, we get a very clear picture:
It's not exactly... positive. Now, some of this is because of their mental states. Sol Regem lost his beloved mate a thousand years ago, lost his position as the king of the dragons, and been effectively cut off from Xadia's political sphere / the other archdragons for a long time. Rex Igneous is similarly isolated (though it seems more self-inflicted) and we know he had a previous falling out with Avizandum (presumably over Zubeia). We also see Zubeia grow increasingly listless both times she falls ill / almost loses her family (S3, 5x09) so it seems that despite being very rare and accordingly isolationist, Archdragons don't tend to do well alone and without families (understandably).
But the verdict seemingly from at least 2/4ish known archdragons is that
In this way, the Archdragons' view of their quasi-immortality isn't that different from how Aaravos views his literal one:
The stars have never smiled upon their creations. This world was made by cruel, unfeeling hands. It is an instrument of pain, of torment. To exist within this world is to suffer. Even death is no reprieve.
So what about the characters who disagree to the point of doing terrible things so that they can exist forever?
Kpp'ar and Kim'Dael (Crafted Immortality)
Although there's only two characters in the "dark magic induced immortality" category, they paint two such completely different pictures that, in many ways, it shows the full spectrum of just how one can achieve an unnatural immortality.
On the one hand, we have Kim'Dael, who takes dark magic's canonically to its long believed natural conclusion of cannibalism. Kim'Dael takes parts (blood) from magical creatures (in this case, elves) and consumes it to enhance her own abilities and her livelihood. This doesn't always mean fully killing and draining someone, but often can (Bloodmoon Huntress) with multiple individuals / sometimes whole families at a time as she must experience semi-regular rejuvenation; it is unknown if she needs to eat or consume anything else in her day-to-day life.
Her magic use was also confirmed to be a form of dark magic in this interview:
the way that she does, is beyond primal magic. She’s found ways through dark magic to extend her primal moon powers. It’s very evil how she is able to do what she does and extend her life
Despite the dragons who don't have to work to be immortal being far more despondent about their long, long lives, it's not hard to think of reasons why Kim'Dael would want to be immortal. Death is a scary unknown, she (like Finnegrin) is out of tune with her primal knowingness on a fundamental level, and she can do so without harm to herself. Like most dark mages we've seen, her dark magic use requires using and taking from the people around her more, accordingly, than it's taking from her. She takes from others to give herself power: dark magic 101.
Kpp'Ar's search for immortality is way fucking weirder, IMO. It's not necessarily that dark mages, or dark magic, never uses the caster's body for spells. It inherently saps energy (hence the white streaks, nosebleeds, collapsing, etc) and drains life from the body; each spell harms the caster in at least a small way. It's also not like we've never seen a dark mage use their own body parts for a spell; Claudia uses and drinks her own blood mixed into the pentapus ink in 5x09, and Viren mutilates his own heart in 6x08 rather than use someone else's.
It's just, that if Kim'Dael has a way to chase immortality that does mean using somebody else's body... why on earth would you use your own?
It seems that before his change of heart, Kpp'Ar was experimenting with one of the darkest of all magics. A way of extending life. Indefinitely. A horrible and strange kind of immortality. The ancient and disturbing practice of self-eating.
Now, some of this may come down to access or skillset. Presumably Kim'Dael could drink human blood and use it for her spells, since the arcanum of the elf she's drinking from doesn't seem to matter. However, even if you can use human blood, Kpp'Ar at this point was older and used a cane (if we assume this was a later in life pursuit, and not over decades); he likely wasn't going to be able to kidnap and haul back anyone but children back to Puzzle House, and while we know he's willing to sacrifice children (6x06) it's not canonically clear if he's willing to use them.
Either way, we know Kpp'Ar was pursuing immortality as well as the location of the Garden of Innocents concurrently. We don't know if this was interrelated, but we do know that unicorns are connected to the Star arcanum, which is presumably what makes First Elves immortal-ish so... maybe? It's not clear why Kpp'Ar would want immortality in general, especially that type of immortality, for himself, but clearly there will be a reason. It could be that he wanted to transfer it to someone else (Soren) and gave up, but that's not fundamentally different than what Kim'Dael does, so... again: why himself?
(Arc 3 come home to me)
Cannot Die
Last but not least, we have Aaravos + the other First Elves in the 'cannot die' category, except when they can (Leola). I've written more before about how... odd the info surrounding what the Cosmic Council can and cannot do and what we may be missing, for lack of a better term. Quick rundown:
The Cosmic Council can execute Startouch elves. Aaravos did not have enough power to stop them. (*At the time of Leola's death, as things may have changed since then)
Aaravos seems to be utterly unconcerned that the Cosmic Council conceivably could, if they became aware of his actions, execute him in the same manner. Aaravos does not seem to care if they notice, given that he asks, "Are you watching?" in 7x08.
When Aaravos' mortal form (like the one Leola had/used on earth) is destroyed in 7x09, there are noticeable visual differences to the destruction of his daughter's.
Aaravos seems to want to bring the First Elves into "this world" as it is an instrument of pain that begets only suffering, and "I want them to suffer."
We also know that Aaravos believes the First Elves don't care about / love their creations at all, so destroying the earth can't be the endgame goal. We also know that something is keeping Aaravos from accessing/attacking them, otherwise he would've done so before being imprisoned.
Presumably, something in the interim has changed with either 1) Aaravos is no longer able to die or 2) He has found a way to be able to kill the other First Elves if they went after him, rather than the other way around. Potentially dark magic is the road to get there, or a form of ancient magic the First Elves tried to keep hidden that became the basis for dark magic.
Either way, we know that the First Elves are able to end an otherwise truly immortal being's existence permanently (at least so far) and that it's a power at one point Aaravos did/does not have. I'll be curious to see what we learn about all of this and self-eating in the future.
#tdp#the dragon prince#tdp meta#analysis series#the archdragons#tdp aaravos#arc 2#analysis#kpp'ar#kim'dael#predictions#sort of#worldbuilding#dark magic#deep magic
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January
It's been every which way over here, not gonna lie, I'm ready for a month of nothing happening.
That being said, Hobi is about to unleash some music to get us lathered up prior to embarking on his world tour.
But that's a kind of chaos I welcome. More, please. (see what I did there?) Orchestra Mic Drop needs to be on the set list. Manifesting.
Anyway... Jimin. I can't wait to have fun conversations with you about your military service. I'm positive the stories will keep us enraptured for ages. I can't wait to have you back with us. I see the snow falling in Korea and I am thinking of you and your crew shoveling away, then knocking the snow off your boots and heading inside to the mess hall where Jungkook and his crew have cooked up some steaming bowls of hearty stew or soup to warm you all up.
Soon, the spring days will be here and then before we know it, it'll be June 11 and you and Jungkook will be back. As of today, 130 days left. We will already be on a high from welcoming Namjoon and Tae back.
What will that first day be like? Will you and Jungkook sit on that couch in the Hybe building in your military uniforms with balloons and flowers next to you, and turn on a Weverse live just like Jin and Hobi did?
No pressure, lol. BUT WE REALLY NEED TO SEE IF YOUR ASS IS OUT OF THIS WORLD. YOU PROMISED.
You mentioned that you and Jungkook talk about a lot of things before going to sleep. The things you talk about in those deep conversations are probably becoming more and more real to the both of you every day. Don't be scared. Don't be worried. We only want you to be safe, happy and out of there. Really LUYO 💜 too.
The day is coming when we can all say YOU DID IT! WE DID IT! WE ALL MADE IT! NOW ON WITH THE REAL SHOW!!
And last but definitely not least, the first group live with Yoongi... cue the tears. Will he get out early? Saved vacation days? Would he even show himself if he did? Or will he go by the book all the way to the end? We wait™️.
I heard Kim Jones is leaving Dior. I was not a fan of the last few seasons of his creations. I could not imagine Jimin wearing any of that mess. The new mens creative is supposedly JW Anderson. Not sure when we'll see first glimpses of his Dior menswear. He better be prepared to fit Jimin's sculpted butt perfectly.
And Pharrell has designed a new Tiffany line called Titan that has little spikey things and such...
I have finally realized I have entered a phase where all I'm concerned with is what is happening in real time to all the members. What are their thoughts, their state of mind now while fulfilling their duties? What are their concerns, what are the things that bring them joy and satisfaction? What are the forces and events that are impacting them?
We can glean these things from their brief moments they post on Instagram or Weverse, or when their fellow soldiers or colleagues post things that help us see more.
We know Namjoon is about to die from boredom. He knows what is planned and he knows its going to be big.
We know Tae is very proud that he's met his target goal to join the Bangtan buff-line. But we'll have to be the judge of that because Jimin says they're working out and he has "good things to show us" (see: out of this world butt above).
Jungkook needs a little confidence boosting but is ready to belt out karaoke at a moment's notice. Hand that man a mic please.
And Jimin is nervous because he's immersed himself in his soldier role for the past 1 year and 2 months and now must pivot and make the shift back to his real life.
Jin has worked 3 weeks straight and we don't know what that means.
Hobi is busy melding the LA hiphop scene into his DNA and prepping for a concert tour to blow us away. Can't wait.
And Yoongi... an autograph left somewhere but when? Recent? Not recent? Someone saying they MIGHT have spotted him. He's been a ghost. He said he would be. And that's what will make his re-emergence that much more emotional for all of us, to finally see him and his smile.
Ok, that was a good ramble. Until next time, everyone dress warmly if you live on the top half, dress for summer if you live on the bottom half but all of you stay safe and always look for the positive.
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I want to find my future spouse soon or just would like to know when I meet them…I recently came back to Tumblr and remember you talking about knowing who your future spouse is as I was an old fan? How did you meet him and are you in a relationship with him or? Hope it’s not too personal!
So I personally met my FS already when I started to deep dive into astro and started the blog, I met them 2 years earlier when I started the blog (end of 2023, so we met end of 2021). So I didn't predict our meeting, tho some people predicted it to me that I would met my FS in 2021-2022.
Anyway, so as to how you could see ways you could meet your FS, Juno & Union PC are great tools for it, but when you read it you need to remember this is YOUR point of view on the meeting. Otherwise, SRC are good to tells us which year this could happen. I'll give an example!
ᰔ Example with Uyu and FS ᰔ
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Juno PC
Rising + Sun give insights on how you'll meet.
⋆˙⟡ I have Rising Aquarius 21°, the first time we met, we met in online on an app to learn how to speak other languages. The 2nd time we met, we were neighbors in a foreign land, living 5 min away from each other without even knowing. I also have Sun 9H conjunct Mercury, so it makes a lot of sense. FS was actually traveling for a short period of time there (3 months) and he was just enjoying holidays.
⋆˙⟡ FS has Gemini Rising in 9° (exactly the same lmao) and Sun is in Scorpio 6H, so FS met me when I was going on a period of transformation in my life, and I wa mostly having health issues, but as I was moving in another country where I knew no one and didn't speak much the language, I was literally lost and trying to adapt to this whole new life.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Union PC
This asteroid can also give us an insight on how you feel when you first meet FS.
⋆˙⟡ FS had a 5H stellium with Briede included in it, and FS was flirting hard in fact, he was totally trying to rizz me, and kept also talking about serious commitment. Yet, he also had Groom 12H, he was very afraid of commitment as he was afraid of being hurt. Saturn is also in his 11H, he had a hard time creating a connection or just even being true, being scared of being hurt by being too close with the other person. Jupiter and North Node are in his 7H here, FS actually knew he wanted me and wanted to marry me since day 1. Juno also conjunct DC, so once again, it's like bro knew I was the one. I also forgot, but FS had Chiron in his 5H stellium, he was trying to flirt with me, quite obviously, but he was also def scared to catch feelings. Jupiter over 9H, FS was traveling. 7H Ruler in 7H for him, I recently learned he took our whole meeting and dating phase as if we were already in a relationship.
⋆˙⟡ As for me, I had a 3H stellium, me and FS met online and even during our dates, I felt like we talked a lot for sure. I had Uranus 9H and Sun in 4H (4H Ruler in 4H + 9H ruler in 9H), I traveled to another country and moved there for a few times, and we met again there out of surprise (surprise effect= Uranus 9H). I had Jupiter 11H, in fact, I first started seeing FS as a friend, I had a thing for him but I def noticed he was wounded as fuck and I didn't want to enter in a relationship with him as he was very wounded, I knew it would hurt me as well. He became my best friend (I have natal Venus 11H tho lol). Saturn is also in my 12H, def thought it was best for us to not be together. I was the one putting distance between us. Nothing was in my 5H, I wasn't flirting, and I wanted to create a true bond rather than stupid flirt. 7H Ruler in 11H, def we started as friends for me. The 3H stellium could also be about us being neighbors when we met again in foreign lands.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Union (1585) in Groom/ Briede/ Juno
⋆˙⟡ In Juno PC, FS has Union in Libra 5H 12°, conjunct Briede. When we met, FS was flirting hard with me and was trying to seduce me, he was hella romantic (bro wanted to rizz a Virgo Venus, wrong move). Though, because it conjuncts Briede, FS could have been this way because he had a sensation he met the one. In 12°, it was indeed in foreign lands. Yet, Chiron is also in the 5H, and Briede square Moon, I mistaken his flirting for just him being a fuckboy.
⋆˙⟡ In Juno PC, I have Union Libra 8H 18°, I told you, tons of flirting, it was a date directly (I had no idea) and FS flirted hard with me. I also told no one we would meet, and we met around 5pm and spent the whole rest of the evening/ night talking. I was more practical and logical on this meeting than FS, but I really liked him still, as Union conjunct Venus there.
⋆˙⟡ In Groom PC, I have Union Libra 5H 24°, very funny considering this is exactly his Union placement in his Juno PC (even the degree is a Pisces one). FS will be flirty during our meeting, and try to seduce me for sure, but he will do it in a fun way, and romantic way also. Which happened this way.
⋆˙⟡ In Briede PC, FS has Union Leo 11H 25°, meaning I was more focused on creating a deep and true bond between us, I made him and I start a strong friendship, we became best friend at some point. I wanted us to have fun and share something real.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Other observations
⋆˙⟡ Sometimes, a meeting with FS doesn't necessarily means meeting -> dating -> proposal -> wedding -> happy endings. Sometimes, there are hardships and obstacles because of many reasons, and astrologically speaking, because of certain placements.
⋆˙⟡ First, in both our Natal Charts, me and FS have placements that indicates having hardships with our romantic life, and mostly our union. FS has Venus conjunct Saturn, Juno trine Saturn, Briede square Chiron, and Briede square Mercury, aspects that indicates miscommunication, hardships and obstacles due to past traumas may be in the way between us, and both FS and I will need to learn and heal to be together.
⋆˙⟡ Personally, I have Juno conjunct Chiron, Venus square Chiron, Groom square Jupiter, all indicators of strong hardships as well.
⋆˙⟡ We also have both Venus square Pluto, could be an indicator of not talking to each other for a while. Having to break something in order to heal.
⋆˙⟡ Moreover, when we look at our Composite, we have a 10H stellium in Taurus, very good for the long term commitment, but also indicates with the earth sign Taurus of a long process, slowly being together.
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The Beatles by photographer Jean-Marie Périer
First encounter(s), 1964 -
(the text below is made up of a few quotes put together, assuming that the photos and associated memories are all from the same day, which is very likely but not 100% sure)
In the early 60s, I only knew as much English as I'd learned in high school. Needless to say, my vocabulary was very limited. For the first session I met them in the office of their agent Brian Epstein, who knew of our magazine. They came in one after the other, making jokes I didn't really understand.
They saw this awkward twenty-four-year-old Frenchman who looked eighteen, and my hesitant English didn’t reassure them. You can see it in this photo, where John casts a doubtful glance at his mates. Like Ringo, he was almost the same age as me, Paul was twenty-one and so was George. The only thing that impressed them a little is that I lived with Françoise Hardy, whom they were crazy about, like most English people at the time. But don't get me wrong, their success was fairly recent, and to me they weren’t the "Beatles" with a capital "B", but just a bunch of guys who made cool music.
I immediately took pictures of them standing by a window, talking to them mostly with gestures, like a translator for deaf-mutes on the news. Then I suggested we go to the studio I'd booked. As I arrived downstairs with them, I saw this red door. "What if we did one there?" I said randomly. By the time we'd found a chair for Ringo to position himself, the shoot took five minutes. To think that this is now the most famous photo I've taken of the band…
[At the studio] I decided to stand out so that they’d remember me (…). I asked them to line up. Then I gave each of them a cigarette and a lighter. I then told my assistant to turn off the lights. I could hear them laughing in the dark. I asked them to light their cigarettes. Click-clack, thank you Kodak, I took three photos and told my assistant to turn the lights back on. "Thank you gentlemen, that will be all for today." It certainly surprised them, because they didn’t forget me (…)
After the studio session, they must have taken a liking to me, because they immediately took me to Anello & Davide, the manufacturer of English rockers' boots, the ones with the zip on the side, the absolute dream at the time.
We had been in the store for less than half an hour when the street was blocked by a crowd of young girls frenzied by the band’s presence. We had to call the police to get out. That gave me an idea of the scale of their success. Anyway, I was happy, I had my boots…
Paris, Milan, concerts… 1965
Stuck in their suites at the George V Hotel, they couldn't venture outside because of the crowds of fans shouting their names from the sidewalk. So it was with great pleasure that they agreed to let me take them out for a drink at the Grande Cascade for a few photos.
(Photo 2: it was great to see them having a laugh while waiting for the ducks to come).
It's funny how they all used to ask me to hand them a camera. Then I'd give them the film, so I’d never see the pictures they had taken.
Six o'clock in the morning on the roof of Milan Cathedral. We'd spent the night in an unlikely nightclub, and a city official had had the cathedral opened so that the Beatles could visit it in peace. Ringo was up to his usual antics near the gargoyles, then we headed back to the hotel. There, girls were waiting for them, squealing. Several of them had gone up to the suites, and it was quite like a surprise party, more innocent than you'd expect. A few merrymakings later, they were going to sleep through the day until around 5 or 6 p.m., when they'd get to work, i.e. go on stage…
Paul, 1966
I really like this photo of Paul, so English, playing the piano in a suit and tie. I called him from Paris and said, “I have to do eight pages on you. What day can I come to London?” He offered me a Thursday. “How much time do you need?” he asked. “Three hours!” I arrive at his place and we take a few photos, then we get in his Rolls to take some more in Hyde Park. What I like is that he comes in a suit and tie, which proves to me that he told himself: “Eight pages on little old me? Okay, let’s go for a classic look.” Yet God knows that in what the newspapers call “Swinging London” (a bit of a ridiculous expression, London has always been whimsical) the Beatles were at the forefront of fashion trends, inventing the most fanciful mixes, changing their look every week. What the “I’m a rocker/leather/dark glasses” obsessed people forget today is that when I met the Beatles and the Stones they were often wearing a tie. “Being rock” doesn’t mean anything, it’s a fan’s dream that lacks imagination. (…)
…
In 2014, [Gilles Mora] called me and said, "I'm going to do an exhibition at the Pavillon Populaire in Montpellier with Linda McCartney's photographs, Paul has agreed to come for the opening, but I don't know him, you'll have to come." I explain that the last time I saw Paul was in 1968: "You know," I tell him, "he's been through a lot since then, and I'm not sure he remembers!" It doesn't matter, Gilles wants me to be there. So I come down from Paris in the company of my friend Marc Lambron, who I know will be delighted. Before the "Beatle" arrives, Mora tells me that organizers have been there for two days to prepare the star's trip from London by private jet. Everything is set up just as it was for the arrival of the Queen of England. Indeed, at the end of the day, Paul McCartney arrives on time, surrounded by his family. And in the midst of the two hundred people who greeted him, to my great surprise, he saw me and gave me the warmest of nods of recognition. Frankly, I wasn't expecting it - I wouldn't have blamed him if he hadn't recognized me. And then he introduces me to his wife and daughter, telling them verbatim: "You see, with him it was the good old days, we had a lot of laughs, I've got nothing but good memories!" Well, not only was I surprised by this, I must admit it made me very happy.
1967
This is the last photo I took of the Beatles, at Abbey Road studio during the recording of “SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND”. The atmosphere was already a little heavy, John was standing out, maybe it felt like the end. See, he’s looking elsewhere. With Michel Taittinger and my assistant Marianne Haas, we had set up an improvised photo studio inside Abbey Road, adjoining the one in which they were working. The difficulty was to get all four of them together. There was always one or two talking to the angels on the roof.
Three weeks later I returned to their manager’s office, to show them the shots, to pick record sleeves for the English market. I was accompanied by my sister Anne-Marie. In another room, the band were listening to “Penny Lane”, a song from their new album “Magical Mystery Tour”, about to be released. While waiting for them, I chatted with Brian. When they arrived, I showed them the photos, they made their choice, they were happy; but what did we do after? I can’t remember. What I do know is that a few days later I had a fight with John, and I never saw him again. I’ve always regretted it.
Many more photos (but watermarked) : https://www.photo12.com/fr/images?search=beatles&col=jmp
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*ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ *ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊ *ੈ✩‧₊༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."–Aristotle
Until you find yourself you will always be someone else🫐🐇
Self discovery is a very hard and confusing process. We all tend to look for it, but it’s a slowly paced journey. Asking questions can help us understand ourselves better and it might help understand what we want and who we are (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚
Ask yourself questions🫐
I want to be a part of your journey to self discover and self love. Try asking yourself those questions and save them for your future self.
1. How would you describe yourself in five words?
2. Do you consider yourself a positive person?
3. What is one thing that is going really well in your life right now?
4. What is one thing that really needs your attention?
5. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
6. What makes you anxious?
7. What makes you happy?
8. What makes you angry?
9. What are you passionate about?
10. How do you talk to yourself?
11. What has been bringing you joy lately?
12. Do you feel overwhelmed a lot?
13. Do you consider yourself generally optimistic or pessimistic?
14. Do you consider yourself introverted or extroverted? Do you wish you were more of one or the other?
15. What are your biggest daily distractions?
16. What are you excited about each day when you wake up?
17. Who is your biggest fan?
18. What makes you laugh out loud?
19. Are you indecisive or are you certain with your decisions?
20. Do you feel like you spend a lot of time overthinking?
21. Do you have a lot of regrets?
22. How much time do you spend per day on social media?
Do you see this as restful time or wasted time?
23. When do you feel like you are most "in your element"?
24. How much do you value other people's opinions?
25. What is the first thing you notice about other people?
26. What irritates you?
27. Do you consider yourself brave? Why?
28. Someone just handed you a million dollars.what are you going to do with it?
29. What piece of advice would you give to 16 year old you?
30. Who are the most important people in your life?
31. What is your biggest worry?
32. What keeps you grounded?
33. Are you good at planning or do you typically "fly by the seat of your pants"?
34. When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself?
35. How would you describe your childhood?
36. What are your top priorities right now?
37. Would you consider yourself a people pleaser?
38. What is the number one thing you do when you're upset?
39. In five years, what do you want to be able to say you've accomplished?
40. What are your biggest stressors right now?
41. What is holding you back from achieving your goals right now?
42. What is one thing you never get tired talking about?
43. What makes you feel peaceful and content?
44. How do you practice self care?
45. What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?
46. What is your relationship with money? Do you consider yourself frugal? Good with a budget? An overspender?
47. What keeps you up at night?
48. Who do you go to for advice?
49. What is one thing you've always wanted to do? Why haven't you done it?
50. Do you consider yourself a productive person?
51.Where is your favorite place to be?
52. What is your biggest dream?
53. Describe your ideal day.
54. Do you consider yourself confident? Resilient? Passionate?
55. How do you define success? What do you need to do to consider yourself successful?
56. What calms you down when you're angry?
57. What is one thing you need to forgive yourself for?
58. Who do you talk to when you're struggling?
59. What are you grateful for?
60. What is one bad habit you'd like to eliminate?
61. Is there anyone you need to apologize to?
62. What is your dream job?
63. What offends you?
64. What is the last lie you told?
65. Do you consider yourself laid back or wound tight?
66. Did you make someone smile today? Laugh? Cry?
67. Who is the kindest person you know?
68. What are the top three things on your bucket list?
69. If you could hire a coach right now, what would it be for?
70. What do people always come to you for? Advice? A listening ear? Fun night out? A favor?
71. What do you need to heal from? How are you making that healing happen?
72. Where do you spend most of your time? How could you make that environment better?
73. When you die, what do you want people to remember about you?
74. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?
75. What does unconditional love mean to you?
76. What is one thing you absolutely cannot live without?
77. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
78. Name the five people you spend the most time with. Now describe them. Do you consider them to be positive influences?
79. How is "public you" different than "private you?
80. What are you dreading?
81. What motivates you?
82. How do you handle conflict?
83. What is your biggest pet peeve?
84. What inspires you?
85. Are you a jealous person?
86. What have you given up on?
87. Name three things you love about your life.
88. What are your favorite activities?
89. What are your first thoughts when you wake up?
90. Describe one moment in life you'll never forget.
91. Are you living life on your own terms? Or trying to live up to others expectations?
92. What quality do you admire most in others?
93. What drains your energy?
94. Who do you trust most in your life?
95. What is something you avoid like the plague?
96. How do you handle change?
97. What do you need to let go of?
98. How connected to your friends, family, community do you feel?
99. How balanced do you consider your work/home life?
100. Overall, do you consider yourself happy?
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🫐🐇100 questions might seem like a lot of work and struggle, but it really does help to know how you can improve and grow as a human being.
xoxo,
deadflowerssociety🪷
I really appreciate reblogs🐇🤍
#love poem#aesthetic#fashion#cats of tumblr#1950s#blessed with beauty and rage#female hysteria#female manipulator#girlblogging#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#self care routine#self care#self love#self improvement#self discovery#lizzy grant#lana unreleased#lana del slay#lifestyle#lana del rey#life#girl blogger#beauty#life quotes#coquette angel#angelcore#angelic#marie antoinette#angel#almond
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Netflix has seriously harmed it's reputation with how often it is now cancelling shows. What used to be seen as the go-to service for saving cancelled shows, has now become the very thing it swore to destroy {Hello There Obi-Wan Kenobi reference). Netflix likes to repeat it's standard line that they have never cancelled a successful show, but they conveniently never tell us how they measure success, because this doesn't ring true with their shows like Lockwood & Co and Shadow & Bone, that got to both Number 1 and Number 2 respectively in Netflix's own published streaming charts, and that still wasn't enough to save those shows from cancellation. Also Netflix clearly has favourites in terms of marketing, for example I enjoyed the show Everything Now, but you've probably never heard of it, and I searched Facebook - Netflix did one post about it when they dropped the trailer 3 weeks before it's worldwide release, and that was it; but other shows like Bridgerton, you can't fail to know it's there because they post daily about it on their socials for weeks up to and including release and for weeks after too. You even have actors in a new show saying they have to search their show to find it so they can watch and it's not even advertised on Netflix's own home screen, let alone anywhere else, so no wonder these shows get cancelled as they are never given a fair shot to succeed.
It seems unless you go viral or break Netflix's own streaming records, like Stranger Things or Wednesday, then even getting the number one or number two spot is not good enough to save a program from cancellation. Netflix needs to remember that not all releases are an overwhelming overnight success - even some of the best and most popular shows took a while to find their audience, like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, The West Wing, The Sopranos, but then when they did find their audience they became what everyone was talking about, and people who had never seen the show, still knew about them from it's impact on the cultural audience. Somebody else said, and I truly believe it, that if Netflix had made Breaking Bad today, they would have cancelled it after two seasons, and then think what great storytelling we would have missed out on, all because the show wasn't a record hit in it's opening week.
And now Netflix finds itself in a self-fullfilling loop where they have now trained their audience to not try new shows and get attached as they'll likely be cancelled. Think about it, how many new shows can you think of on Netflix that got renewed last year. It only seems to be people will tune in for shows like Bridgerton, Emily in Paris, Outer Banks, as they have had time to grow with the characters, so now Netflix has got themselves in to a model where customers don't try a new show, like KAOS or Everything Now, and they'll wait and see if it's renewed, and when after only a month since it's release, it does indeed get cancelled, the consumer hasn't wasted time getting invested in a show & characters that get cut short, especially nowadays when there is so much to watch across traditional TV and now streaming services too, that just because the audience doesn't come running to watch as soon as it drops, doesn't mean it's not there or interested.
2025 see's the return of some of Netflix's biggest shows like Squid Game, Wednesday and Stranger Things, but 2 out of those 3 also end this year too and then what shows will be left that are associated with the Netflix brand - they had Stranger Things, House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black when Netflix first got going, it'll be hard to say by the end of this year what big shows Netflix will have left to draw customers in
Unless Netflix, and the wider industry, change their perception to not only see massive, viral numbers as success and that shows with strong-moderate success are allowed to grow and widen their audience, then there will eventually reach a tipping point where they will cancel one show too many that either customers leave their service, or creatives will decide that Netflix isn't a good partner to work with where you put years of work in writing, filming, producing, editing a project just for it to be cancelled a month after it's release, so if you have a story that needs more than one film or a one and done series to tell it in, then Netflix probably isn't your best bet any longer.
#netflix#kaos#kaos netflix#everything now#shadow and bone#shadow & bone#shadow and bone netflix#lockwood netflix#lockwood and co#bridgerton#stranger things#wednesday#wednesday netflix#squid game#breaking bad#game of thrones#the west wing#the sopranos#emily in paris#outer banks#house of Cards#orange is the new black#netflix shadow and bone#netflix shows#netflix series#streaming#streaming shows#tv#tv industry#sag aftra
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And thus, with the passing of 24 hours, Caeru's ambition truly comes to an end. Major Nemesis spoilers below the cut- we're talking endgame ambition business here. Mostly on a character RP front.
The Doomed Scientist made quite a few... choice decisions, in the end. Killing Cups once and for all, recording his story as one of grief-
And sparing what little remained of Mr Mirrors, leaving it free to roam Parabola as it sees fit.
Some of them, he can explain. Others, he's still left to feel... discontent.
Cups needed to die. That much was certain from the start. It was a tyrant, as all Masters are, and complicit in the bargaining and eventual destruction of four (potentially five) cities, as all Masters are. It was an obstacle. A murderer. A petty monster that felt no remorse even on its deathbed, and it went out of its way to ruin multiple lives just because it felt owed its own sick and twisted idea of revenge.
It killed his first love. It looked him in the eyes and he knew what it had done and he knew from the start it was going to die.
Perhaps, in the end, it knew too. And yet it still pleaded, and wanted to live, and-
It made a bargain.
A bargain Caeru didn't take.
Not because he didn't want to. Gods, he wanted to. He wanted it. He wanted it more than anything else in the world. To have Greylu back, to give him the gift of life, of love, to show him the wonders of the Neath and the beauty of the correspondence and all of the people Caeru has met and loved and found home with along the way-
But. He couldn't.
Because Cups was a monster. And no matter what, it deserved to die. And he could not, in good conscience, allow it to live.
Even if sparing it meant everything he's ever wanted.
So he's left here, now. With a bloodied traveling coat, and a bloodsoaked knife, and a favor finally fulfilled.
And nothing to live for. No resurrected lover, no charming visits to Helicon, no slow dances in the living room, no memories to rebuild and lives to live and he won't live again-
Nothing. All he has is a coat born of obligation, not to his love, but to people he's never even met. To lives he's never even touched. To a paramour, still alive, with hair of rose-pink, who doesn't even remember her own brother's existence.
Cups didn't die for Caeru's sake. Cups died for the sake of all who wanted it dead. For the revenger's court, and the ghost screaming in his ear, and the reckoning that will not be postponed indefinitely.
And Caeru, who acted as a tool to carry out their wills? Who all but betrayed his own lover, just to satisfy a cause he never knew existed?
All Caeru is left with, is regret. Regret-
-And grief.
#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#nemesis spoilers#so! nemesis huh!#i have. a lot of thoughts#overall i think heart's desire remains closest to my heart#but that's almost certainly bc of the obvious ''you always remember your first'' bias#there's a lot of problems with nemesis that have been talked to death by other people way more eloquently than i could ever express#(the big notable stopgates littered throughout. the weird pacing at the end. the fact you never meet your actual nemesis til the finale)#but overall i still liked it a lot!! i loved it actually!!! it singlehandedly made me like cups as a master!!!!#not because of anything nemesis actually DID mind you. i just really liked making up things about it#in place of nemesis. actually featuring it.#which could either be a plus or a minus against the ambition depending on what angle you look at it from#but. yeah. i'd say i enjoyed it. i enjoyed it a whole bunch#and now that ive played 2 out of the 4 ambitions and my FL hyperfixation evidently isnt letting up#it's safe to say we're all here for the long haul#tune in (insert miscellaneous time in the future) for when i finally after like a year and a quarter#get to find out what the fuck truly goes down in light fingers#and also keep an eye out for that caeru-centric fic ive been unsubtly alluding to and still need to write.#ive got a whole outline for it and it's. well#you'll all see when (if?) i finish it#i have some ideas abt how i wanna play around with the nemesis endings + what they mean to caeru#(and i do mean endings as in both of them)#and it all may seem. insane. when we get there#but i swear i have a direction plotted in my head#i swear#scoundrelventures#<- the scoundrel isnt mentioned At All in this post but that works as a general FL oc lore tag
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Y'know someone's probably waxed poetic about this already but it's on my mind so I'm gonna do it again.
When it comes to encouraging people to learn about native plants and habitat and involving themselves and their yards in the wider ecosystem, you gotta meet them where they're at.
And maybe that means they won't go as far into it as you are or would like them to in your wildest dreams. But even small steps count towards the bigger picture and I think we need to appreciate that more.
An example from my own life is my mom and the current gardening project we're working on. We're planning out the garden beds in the front of the yard by the mailbox--my mom's previous plantings for the most part haven't worked out, so I'm taking a crack at it.
I'm a pollinator gardening enthusiast who cares more about attracting as many butterflies bees and hummingbirds as possible than keeping things 'neat' and 'tidy'. However, not only do we live in an HOA neighborhood (though not as intense as some other stories I've heard), but I know my mother--an interior designer who has a deeply vested care for making sure the exterior of the house looks as Nice as possible.
We're still getting a pollinator garden in the front though. How? I'm meeting her where she's at, I'm making some concessions, she's making some concessions, but ultimately we're making something that works for the both of us. She doesn't want the plants too tall and messy? We'll trim them back in fall and winter--the insects can use the backyard garden to nest in. She doesn't want things too wild and bushy and weedy? We'll add a nice mulch to the beds, keep things a bit spaced out until they grow in to their larger sizes. She doesn't know the latin names for the plants I'm asking for, let alone how to pronounce them to ask for them at a garden center? That's fine, I don't know the Latin names for most things anyways, let's just use common names.
Does she care that the garden will attract butterflies and hummingbirds? Not intrinsically--she sees it as more of a bonus, if anything. She just cares about what color everything will be and if it'll be easy to maintain. The fact that they're native plants barely registers as a plus side to her. And honestly? That is fine.
If I approached this problem with a hardheaded attitude on how I wanted it to be just as wild and free as my backyard garden? There wouldn't be any native plants in the front beds. It's not like I didn't teach my mom things, but I didn't lecture her like she was lesser just for not knowing or caring as much about native gardening as I do. And that, ultimately, made her more open to the idea than she would've been if I looked down on her like I've seen too many people do to others.
Not everyone is going to develop a deeply seated care about native plants and Latin names and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that. Meet people where they're at and you just might get a lot more done. Meet people where they're at and you just might find they'll get excited enough to learn more--but if they don't want to learn more, that is fine.
We can't expect everyone on the globe to suddenly become plant experts rattling off Latin names left and right and professionally ID'ing native and invasive plants. In the same way we wouldn't expect everyone to suddenly learn the ins and outs of learning code, or how to synthesize medicines, or how to properly build a house. And that is fine. Because we can lean on those who do know when these things come up.
I lost track of where this was going but. Y'know????
#out of queue#ani rambles#may delete later#like idk between the CPBD channel and some posts ive seen on here#it feels like a lot of people expect EVERYONE to learn ALL the Latin names for everything and thats just not realistic#Latin names make me fuckin dizzy just hearing them out loud 99% of the time#we can't admonish your everyday homie for referring to things by their common name and not knowing the ins and outs of native gardening#you attract more flies with honey than vinegar. don't look down on people for things they don't know and instead lift them up#thats the best way to get people curious about wanting to learn more#and lead by example. show good results and people will be interested.#i put up a bird feeder for the first time like 2 years ago and just this weekend my mom decided to buy a window feeder because she likes#seeing the birds. does she care about providing habitat for wild creatures? no she just likes seeing the pretty birds.#im not gonna lecture her for not putting up a birdhouse and birdfeeder and just wanting to see the birds??? thats stupid#if she wants to get into more then she'll get into more and if she doesn't even a small contribution is still a contribution yknow?#like if someone's doing something actively/with risk to be harmful by all means talk to them about it but like#dont be fuckin rude guys#im going to bed
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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if u r ever frustrated with me & wondering why I am Like That please remember my m*ther literally has multiple pinterest boards of grainy c*tholic apologetica cheatsheets & macros
#viitalks#I've tentatively started talking to my former favourite aunt (pro actress and goffick & introduced me to Night Before Xmas. homophobic tho)#and been informed a first cousin of mine gave birth?? like from the time they told me to the actual baby it was like 2 weeks#she'd been having debilitating digestive paralysis issues for years and so her pregnancy symptoms were interpreted as Maybe Related to that#sooo I've been on a Cyberstalking Estranged Family kick. they're still just as fucking weird. the cousin is a compulsive tiktok oversharer#and still just as terminally obsessed with miley cyrus and one direction as she was when we were 12 :-)#I was considering taking to her but like.... wtf do you even say? lol#'Hi we haven't talked in like seven years but congrats on reproducing ya normie'#'No I don't wanna cross the city to see yall bc my brother who beat the shit out of me derailing my chance of graduating uni might be there#'Also I still think your interests are supremely cringe. Although I realise I was a gratuitous pickme asshole about it back then'#'still really is dogshite music tho'#'and I found one of them literally dying indescribably funny'#'In contrast kid me's emotional support dogshite emo band reunited and their transphobic exmember also died and tbf I ALSO found that funny#....AHEM. I think she'll get enough congratulations anyway#also fun fact my gf and her bf drive the same model of ridiculous two seater convertible and idk what to do with that information#it's probably also really his dad's lol
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