#we really shouldn’t need an app for everything

[gi4hao]

the idiots you date — x. minghao

roommate!minghao x gn!reader

word count: 1k

genre: fluff but slightly angsty (mention of a past toxic relationship)

“you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you”

“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are.”

minghao’s face bears signs of exhaustion that you’ve learned to recognize months ago. signs which started to appear exactly when he took on this new “big corporate job” as you often call it, simply because you’re not quite sure to understand what it is.

you’ve finished your dinner an hour ago. you used to wait for him to come home, but that was when he wasn’t working overtime most days of the week.

“they needed me to finish some urgent reports, i didn’t really have a choice,” he tells you before you can even ask anything. his tone is like a permanent sigh, but you know it’s not directed towards you.

sat at the kitchen table, you remain silent, fiddling with the rings he took off before washing his hands. the lights are dimmed, making the dark circles under his eyes slightly more prominent.

“how was your date?” he asks as he takes his plate out of the microwave, probably wanting to change the subject. but you doubt he’s still interested in your date anecdotes, especially since this one was your third of the week.

although he comes to sit right next to you, you carefully avoid his eyes when you reply:

“okay, i guess? the guy was nice but had terrible takes on most topics we talked about. well, ‘we’ is kind of a stretch because i was doing most of the talking. i think he was just here to eat good food and make me pay for most of it.”

“so… not okay, then”, minghao corrects you, and the silence that follows speaks louder than any word would have.

you’ve been single for almost a year now, and your last relationship was not exactly a model of good and healthy communication.

living alone after the breakup was a depressing prospect, and minghao was in need of a roommate to avoid letting his job drive him insane: a perfect match for two long-time friends like you two.

there was always a certain closeness between you, but living together has made it more intimate, and consequently harder to ignore... which is why you decided to ask for the help of various dating apps in hope to get minghao out of your head.

“yeah, not okay…” you sigh, mindlessly sliding one of his rings on your finger.

your gaze lands on the painting hung next to the fridge. one of minghao’s, which you insisted should be put up in your apartment; swirls of paint meeting in rosebuds and milky tulips. you can still see where the paint was spread across the canvas by his fingers.

with a tinge of sadness, you realize minghao hasn’t drawn anything in months. his paint-covered clothes were all replaced by dull suits that make him look like the people he used to feel sorry for.

“what time do you start tomorrow?” you ask, pouring him another glass of water.

his lips press into a thin line; you’re not sure whether he’s holding back a sigh of annoyance or just mentally preparing for an answer you’re not going to like.

“7. there’s a meeting i need to prepare for.”

“and when you get to the office at 7, are other employees there? or just you?”

“don’t start,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing his plate to go put it in the dishwasher. “we’ve already discussed this, it’s a dead-end.”

he’s right, this conversation has never ended well. but your eyes keep coming back to that painting, to everything he’s slowly turning his back to. the sadness ebbs away, giving way to a rising anger:

“no, i will start actually,” you state, walking up to him. “you’re unhappy, hao. you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you.”

“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are,” he replies, slamming the dishwasher shut. but his voice sounded more cutting than intended: “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that.”

there are a thousand words on your lips right now, but few of them would be reasonable to say out loud. meanwhile, minghao is looking at you like you’re a ticking time bomb.

“but you said it. so now i expect you to either hit me with a miracle solution or kiss me.”

you said it without really thinking, basically shrugging as you know he will never take you seriously. the best outcome would be for him to never speak about your love life ever again.

but his reply makes you instantly freeze: “what if i did both?”

a rush of warmth spreads from the pit of your stomach, radiating through your entire body as his hand comes to meet your cheek, silently asking for confirmation that this is something you want.

your lips crash against his before he can even start to lean in, and the feeling of his skin so close to yours feels so unreal you expect him to push you away any second.

but instead, he matches your eagerness to the point where you’re scared you might lose your balance.

“i hope you like that solution,” he breathes out, leaving one last kiss on your nose.

in that fleeting moment, you reunite with the old minghao, the lively one who makes his own decisions and owns up to his actions. the one you fell in love with years ago.

“absolutely”, you chuckle, your hands meeting behind his neck. “…so i guess i can tell that guy we won’t go on a second date.”

“you better,” he earnestly tells you as he starts to take his black blazer off. “working from 7 to 9 will never be as painful as watching another idiot take you on a date. from now on, i’ll take care of it.”

-> rbs and feedback are always appreciated!

masterlist here!

[kimi240302]

Daylight

A/N: Before you read this story, be aware I am from Germany and can't write a bit of English. That's why I'm sending this through an app that translates it for me. 

A/N2.0: In this story, the characters are all a little older. 

Summary: Y/N Swan tries everything to keep her promise to stay away from Demetri Volturi. But can you stay away from the man fate bound you to?

Demetri Volturi x Female!Swan!reader 

Words: 2,8

Part 1 of Daylight Masterlist

Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Request list  / Playlist

18+ I am new to the whole smut writing so please be nice 

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“ You and I drink the poison from the same vine Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Hidin´ all of our sins from  the daylight” - David Kushner 

"You have to promise me that Y/N." Bella looked at her younger sister with piercing eyes. However, the latter did not understand what her older sister and the Cullens family had. Confused, the young girl looked up from her place on the couch. "Why should I promise you to stay away from Demetri Volturi? I don't even really know this man?" "Y/N..." Carlisle began, but Bella interrupted him. "The less she knows, the better it is for her!" Y/N jumped up angrily. "Tell me Bella are you kidding me?! I didn't know anything when you dragged me to Italy with you. I didn't know there were vampires or people who could turn into giant wolves. I was normal, I was happy." The young girl stopped, took one deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself. "Now I'm scared of what lies ahead, being bound to a vampire who is apparently the villain for you? But instead of explaining everything to me, I'm supposed to bluntly forget what I've seen, heard and felt because it's easier for you and your oh-so-great Cullens? You want me to make a promise I don't even understand just because you don't like the Volturi?" Y/N took another deep breath. Her vision blurred from tears she wasn't ready to let Bella see. "Let me tell you something Bella, I don't like Edward either. Yet I'm not telling you to stay away from him or how to live your life!" Y/N turned on her heel and left the Cullens' living room, leaving the entire family in stunned disbelief.

"She's right." Carlisle was the first to find his voice again. "Y/N has been through a lot the last few days. We should have explained everything to her calmly first and then..." "And then what? Demetri Volturi won't leave her alone. Not when she's his mate."  Rosalie looked at everyone around once, her gaze stopping on Bella. "You pushed her into this world, now you can't just kick her out. That's not how it works." "I'm just trying to protect her!" Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "Then you shouldn't have taken her with you." Esme looked at Rosalie warningly. "What happened can't be undone. Blaming each other doesn't change that anymore." The vampire turned to her husband, placing a hand on his arm as she did so. "You should talk to Y/N, after all, you know the Volturi best." Slowly he nodded, "But not today. Y/N needs to process what all happened from today first."

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Humming to herself, Y/N was just turning around in the kitchen of her home to get to the fridge when, out of nowhere, Carlisle stood in front of her. "Jesus Christ! Do you have to scare me like that!" Amused, the blond-haired man looked at Y/N. "Sorry. I forget sometimes that not everyone, can hear everything that's going on around them."   Nodding, Y/N looked at Carlisle, which turned into an uncomfortable silence that the young girl was the first to break.  Sighing, Y/N let herself sink down on the chair in the kitchen and looked at Carlisle. "My father isn't here." "We both know I'm not here for your father Y/N." He lowered himself to the chair across from her. The latter tensed slightly. Reassuringly, Carlisle placed his cold hand on the young girl's. "I'm here to give you an idea of why Bella and my family want you to keep your distance from Demetri and the rest of the Volturi." Y/N just nodded and looked at Carlisle tensely. "You should know that the Volturi clan that Demetri belongs to are kind of like our supreme ones. They rule over the species of vampires and have done so for a very long time. Led by the three kings you met in Italy. Aro the head one, he can see everything you think, what you have experienced or what you have planned with one touch. He can be very overwhelming. But I think you have already witnessed this. He's occasionally..." Carlisle searched for the right words, but Y/N filled the void for him. "Extreme when you're not used to it?" Carlisle smiled, nodding as he did so. "Aro is extreme when it comes to enforcing the rules and can get too brutal in the process. But Caius is the one who has the most fun punishing those who have done wrong in his eyes." "What is his ability?" "He has none, other than his viciousness, he is simply loyal to Aro. Marcus, on the other hand, is the calmest of the three. His passion for life was taken from him when his wife was killed. His ability is to see the relationships between individuals." Y/N nodded. "And what does that have to do with Demetri?" Carlisle sat up a little straighter. "Demetri is part of the Kings' main guards with Felix, Jane and Alec. They do jobs and make sure no one can overthrow the Volturi. They do that by wiping out entire clans or individuals." "So he's an murderer?" Carlisle winced briefly. He hadn't expected Y/N to answer so directly with such a neutral expression on her face. "You can look at it that way, yes. But the main reason Bella wants you to stay away is because the Volturi feed on human blood. They don't see humans as equals, they just see them as something to feed on. Bella...we're all worried that Aro will see you as a threat to Demetri's loyalty and will have you killed."

Y/N let herself sink against the back of the chair with drooping shoulders. Several minutes of silence passed until the young girl cleared her throat. "Marcus lost his wife and became sad, absent and quiet after that?" Confused, Carlisle nodded and was about to ask why, but Y/N kept talking. "Was she his mate?" Again Carlisle nodded. "Is this what happens to vampires when they find their mate and can't be with them?"  Carlisle was startled by these thoughts. "I don't know. But I suspect this may lead to that." Y/N looked closely at the man in front of her. "Then you must really hate the Volturi if you wish such a fate for Demetri."

"Y/N..." Bella stood in the kitchen doorway. "I just want what's best for you." Defeated, the young girl looked down at her hands, which she had folded in her lap. "I won't say I understand this whole vampire thing, or if I even really want to understand it. But I do know that I don't necessarily want to be dragged into the middle of this whole thing. The Volturi thing is your thing, not mine and even if you think that the visit to Italy has dragged me into it, you are wrong. I have my life and I will live it how I want." Bella and Carlisle both wanted to say something, but Y/N's raised hand stopped them. "I will promise you Bella and the Cullens that I will do my best to stay away from Demetri." Bella smiled at her. "As long as you're here in Forks, nothing will happen to you. We'll all make sure of that." Y/N twisted her mouth into a pained smile. "There's something you should know. Our father already knows, and he supports me completely in this. I'm moving to Seattle next week." "What are you going to do there, and by yourself? Does mom know about this?" "I got a school offer, which I can't refuse. Mom was the one who helped me to fill out and get everything I needed for it. I'm going to start packing today." "Y/N you can't just leave now" Bella spread her arms, setting to say more. But Y/N simply got up to leave the room. "You willingly entered the world of the supernatural. I didn't, that's what you decided for me, and now I'm deciding for me to leave."

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"Are you settling in okay?" Y/N set her phone down on her desk and saw Bella making herself comfortable on her bed. "Bella I've been gone for six months. I almost feel like I'm home already." Bella laughed. "I still can't believe my younger sister is the first of us to live alone." Smiling, Y/N looked around her one-bedroom apartment. It wasn't much, however it was nice and big and cozy. Everything she needed to get by on her own. "Now tell me what is Seattle like and your school?"

Y/N's face was barely noticeably twisted as she began to talk about her school. She loved Seattle and the people she had made friends with. They helped Y/N get out of herself and enjoy her life like the young girl never had before. But the feeling of constantly having eyes on her didn't leave her. As if someone was constantly in her shadows. Several times, she could swear she thought she saw Demetri Volturi. The first time, Y/N was sitting in a café with friends, relaxing after a long day at school. The second time was at the library and the last was at a club where she had gone to celebrate a Friday with her class.  However, she did not tell Bella about it. She didn't want her to worry or make up anything so that her parents would send Y/N back to Forks. Because she was sure her sister would go to such lengths to keep an eye on her. Especially now that Bella had calmed down a bit when it came to the subject of Demetri Volturi.

"Damn!" Y/N looked around at her desk, "What's wrong?" Bella looked at her sister with concern. The latter, annoyed with herself, just shook her head. "I have to turn in this homework tomorrow, and the book I need to do these assignments is in my locker at school." "Then just ask for more time." Y/N shook her head. "I can't, but the library is still open and I know they need to have that book there." "Be careful, will you?"  "I always am Bella!" The addressed raised an eyebrow and was about to say something, but Y/N pointed her index finger at her sister, "People who jump off cliffs voluntarily should be quiet!" Defensively, Bella raised her hands. "I'm not saying anything anyway!" "Better that way."

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Y/N shakily rubbed her hands together as she walked down the street. Seattle was cloudy as the smell of a coming rain worked its way to the surface. The shivering came, but not only from the cold air, but also because of the renewed feeling of being watched. Discreetly, she turned her head from right to left. But she could not see anything that seemed strange to her. Shrugging her shoulders, Y/N looked for her headphones in her bag and put them in her ears, hoping to get rid of the feeling as quickly as possible. In the library she asked directly at the entrance if the book she needed was really here and was relieved when the librarian said that the book was in the back of the library.

Again with her headphones in her ears, Y/N walked past the many bookshelves. Every now and then she let her fingers glide over the various book spines, while she hummed softly along to the melody. The shadow that followed her stayed out of the young girl's thoughts. Nor did she notice him standing almost directly behind her as she stopped in front of one of the shelves, her eyes roaming over the various book spines. Annoyed, Y/N pulled a frown from her face. The book she needed was on the top shelf. Standing on her tiptoes, she reached for the black leather book, but only her fingertips touched the spine. With a sigh, she stood back up properly and was about to turn around to go back to the front to ask for a stool or other help.

Y/N froze, however, when a body came up directly behind her, or rather when the upper body of a stranger nestled directly against her back and she saw a pale hand reaching for the book. Startled, Y/N pushed the air out of her lungs and turned around. At the quickness of her turn, her headphones fell to the floor and rolled away in different directions. But the young girl no longer cared, because when she looked up, Y/N saw into a pair of red eyes. Demetri Volturi stood not two inches from Y/N, looking down at the young Swan. A smile had settled on his lips, which was more akin to a Predator having his prey where he wanted it than pure friendliness.

"Demetri..." Y/N sounded breathless, which only made the vampire smile wider. "Good evening mon amour. Is this what you needed?" Demetri ignored her questioning look and held the book between them, but Y/N didn't even notice it. She was too distracted by his closeness and his eyes. "What are you doing here?" The blond-haired vampire tilted his head slightly. His smile softened as he lifted his left hand, the one not holding the book, to brush a stray strand behind Y/N's ear. "I came to check on you." Unwillingly, Y/N closed her eyes as Demetri slid his cold fingers back over her cheek. Instantly, goosebumps spread all over her body as she leaned a little further into his touch. Y/N couldn't help it, it was almost as if something was pulling her towards Demetri.

"This isn't your first time here, is it?" Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open. Slightly, Demetri shook his head. His hand lingered on his mate's cheek. "You've just never been alone." Absently, Demetri placed the book, behind Y/N on the shelf. His hand he placed as a support on the edge of just that. In this way he enclosed Y/N and at the same time came even closer to her. His lips were just above hers. "Demetri, what are you doing?" Panic slowly spread through Y/N. Her hands went to his chest, where she tried to push him away. But Demetri just stopped, no matter what Y/N was trying to do. When the vampire put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, she gave up. Y/N curled her fingers into Demetri's jacket and studied him. His left hand rested on her waist while he slightly strengthened the grip of his right hand on the shelf, making the wood creak in protest.

"I tried to stay away from you after I overheard your conversation with Bella. After I listened to you promise her to stay away from me." Demetri stopped. Still with his eyes closed, he moved his forehead away from hers. He tilted his face slightly forward so that his lips were only millimeters from hers. Y/N drew in a sharp breath as Demetri let his lips move further over her skin to her cheek, to her neck. There he found her pulse point and placed a kiss directly on it.

Y/N's eyes widened in shock as her fingers clawed tighter into his jacket. "Demetri?" Her voice trembled. "Don't do this, please!" Now the young girl sounded tormented. Demetri released his lips from her neck and looked at Y/N again. "Admit it Cheri, you were thinking of me as much as I was thinking of you. Of my hands on your waist, my voice close to your ear, like in Volterra when I finally found you." Again she closed her eyes, almost as if it caused her pain to admit this simple truth.

Y/N still remembered clearly the day she met Demetri Volturi for the first time. His arms wrapped around her so that he could better protect her. The way he had whispered in her ear that she shouldn't be afraid because he would keep her safe. The way he didn't let go of her until he was sure the danger was over. Nor had she forgotten the feeling of safety and security that Demetri had triggered in her.

"Tell me you haven't thought about me for a second and I'll let you go. You won't see me again." Demetri came closer to her lips again. Y/N opened her mouth to tell him to leave, but nothing came out. So she closed it again. Because the truth was, she hadn't stopped thinking about him. Demetri released his right hand from the shelf and let it wander to the back of Y/N's neck. He pulled her a little closer to him. Prevented her from looking away. "Say it!" He challenged her, his eyes falling on Y/N's lips. "Tell me you hate me!" "I can't." Demetri's eyes settled on hers again. He saw the confusion and at the same time the craving he himself felt when he was near Y/N. Demetri broke eye contact, lifted his lips to Y/N's forehead and placed a lingering kiss there. When he released his lips from her skin, he lowered them to her ear. "How long can you hide your sins from the daylight?"

Confused, Y/N wanted to know what Demetri meant by that, but in the next moment he was gone and so was the feeling of his closeness.

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A/N3.0: Please let me know how it was and if you want a second part?

@hc-geralt-23​

[thetriumphantpanda]

CHARLIEEEEEEEE my love, my light, my friend congrats on 1k!!!! I am so so happy that we found each other on this godforsaken app, you have become such a good friend and inspiration to me! For your smut sensation, I would humbly request: Joel Miller, squirting, breeding kink AND daddy kink hehe <3

DONI THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🧡 If there is one thing I am grateful for on this app, it is you. Thank you for being such a dear friend to me, for listening to ALL of my crazy ideas and generally being my biggest cheerleader. I am so appreciative to have met you. ALSO, THANKS FOR THIS FILTH. I HOPE YOU BLOODY ENJOY IT.

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count | 1.4k

Warnings | Explicit, 18+ Minors DNI. So, we've got, breeding kink, daddy kink, squirting, dirty talk and Joel Miller being a menace. Also slight implied age gap but age is not specified.

Part of my 1k Smut Sensation Celebration - if you want in, check here for details - I'm accepting requests through July 15th.

There are flurries of snow falling outside, the cold wind whipping them up into a blizzard. It’s cold enough that the windows have started to frost over too. Come the morning, there will be a ton of snow to shovel off the front porch and a frigid wind that will have you praying that those on patrol don’t lose extremities to frostbite. Winter in Jackson could be unforgiving and cold, but right now you’re anything but. 

It has nothing to do with the fact that your houses have central heating and everything to do with the fact that Joel Miller has just made you come for the second time that night with just his tongue. It shouldn’t really surprise you anymore. You’ve been with this man for two years since he wandered back into Jackson, Ellie in tow, like two feral cats begging to be domesticated. And domesticate him you did. This man between your thighs worshipped you. Worshipped the ground you walked on. He’d provided for you. Helped build a home with you. Given you happiness you weren’t sure either of you had ever thought you’d have again. There was one thing missing though. 

You’d been honest with Joel from the beginnings of your relationship, which began as more of a way for you to both take out your stress and frustration with each other more than anything before developing into something much deeper, that you’d always wanted children. You were never going to be safer than you were in Jackson, it was now or never. At first Joel had been wholeheartedly against it. You hadn’t pushed, not once he’d told you about losing Sarah and the truth about Ellie. But in the past year he’d been warmer, more receptive to the idea. Maybe it had something to do with Ellie pulling away, growing older, or that fact that he too was finally starting to realise that this place was safe, that it could give a growing child almost everything they’d had before the outbreak.

Joel’s fingers are what brings you back to the here and now. They’re sliding through your slick and into your tight heat easily, your back arching off the bed and into the palm of his hand as he curls them upwards in just the right way. The way he knows makes you come undone. He’s working his fingers inside you much like he would with his cock, with an unrelating and pounding pace that tonight, has something unfamiliar building in your belly. 

“Fuck, Joel-” You choke out, reaching between your legs to fist at his greying hair, “Don’t- FUCK- don’t stop.” 

His mouth is free, Joel knows that if he put his tongue on you now it would be too much, which leaves him free to spew utter filth up at you from between your legs, “Like that, don’t ya’, sweet girl?” He proves his point but thrusting his fingers into you at a slightly new angle, causing you to cry out and arch even further into him, “My sweet girl,” He coos, “You gonna let go for me?” 

As it always is with Joel, it’s overwhelming. The need to come, acknowledging it might be too much, thinking that there’s no way he’s actually going to make you come again, then proving time and time again that he can play your body like a damn fiddle and doing it anyway. 

“Know you can do it,” He praises, leaning down to press hot kisses to your clit, enough stimulation to feel good and help you towards your high, but not enough that it’s too much for you, “Come for me, come on my sweet girl.” 

You’re bearing down into his hand, grinding down to meet the upward thrusts of his hand as you finally let go for him. You feel it almost instantly, the gushing and the pooling of liquid on the sheets, Joel’s chuckle between your thighs, and the level of relief you feel. It had happened once before with Joel, during one of your earlier encounters – just as much of a surprise now as it had been then. 

“Well, well,” He groans, “Finally, gotcha to do that again,” his fingers are slipping from your aching cunt, “Beginnin’ to think it was a fluke.” 

You can’t speak, only hum in pleasure as he trails wet kissed up your belly, between the valley of your breasts and then up along your jawbone. He settle’s himself between your legs, you can feel the heavy weight of his cock slipping between the slick folds of your pussy as he works himself into position for you, hooking your knees around the backs of your elbow as he leans down to capture your lips with his. 

You can taste yourself on his tongue as it licks into your mouth, mixing with your own tongue as he moves and slips his thick cock into you in one movement. Your break from his lips to moan his name, eye opening finally to look at him towering above you. He truly was the most handsome man you’d ever seen. The greying of his hair and beard, the starts of his wrinkles, the scars you could see, and those you couldn’t but knew were there. 

“Always so fuckin’ tight for me, sweet girl,” He moans, pressing your legs further back to place kisses down your neck, “Always feel so good for me.” 

The way he has you folded, practically in half, means that every time he pounds into you, he’s hitting that spot again, you’re so spent at this point you don’t think you have anything else to give him, but there’s nothing more you love than watching Joel come undone for you. On every thrust you’re both groaning and calling each other’s names, you manage to free your arms enough to grip his biceps, leaving crescent moon shapes on his skin where you dig your fingernails into him. 

“Not gonna last- fuck, sweet girl.” He whimpers from above you. 

Something in your mind snaps. You’ve got your hands on the globes of his ass in no time, pulling him into you, “Joel, please-” You beg, “Come inside me.” 

You watch with hooded eyelids as he tilts his head back and slows his thrusts before he looks down at you, dark brown eyes clouded with lust, “You sure you know what you’re askin’ for, sweet girl?” He speaks quietly, voice thick. 

“I’m sure Joel,” You whimper, “Wanna make you a daddy.” 

“Fuck,” He whispers, “Say it again.” He demands, picking the pace of his thrusts back up. 

“Gonna make you a daddy,” You cry out, fingers digging into the skin of his ass, “Give it to me Joel, come inside me.” 

He lets your legs unhook from his elbows, only so he can get his lips right by your ears, “Gonna fill my sweet girl up,” He breaths into your ear, “Fuck you like this until you’re round with my baby.” 

“Fuck,” You can feel his hips starting to stutter, you know he’s close, “Joel, fuck- daddy - please,” You beg, “Fill me up.” 

That’s all it takes for Joel to do just that. You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, painting your fluttering walls with his cum for the first time, letting out a strangled cry as he does. He stays buried inside you to the hilt as he catches his breath, kissing at the lobe of your ear before he’s pulling out of you and sitting back on his knees. 

His big hands are squeezing gently at your thighs as he’s looking at the mess he’s made of your pussy. There’s a blush spreading across your cheeks at his gaze, “Don’t get all shy on my now, hot mama,” He grins, “You look so good like this, my cum dripping outta ya.” 

You tip your head back and giggle, liking how the words ‘hot mama�� sound in his southern drawl, “I could get used to that, you know.” You smirk, reaching your hands out to drag him to the bed next to you so you can snuggle into his side. 

“I think I could too,” He presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, big palm splaying over your abdomen, “Think I could get used to you swellin’ up here as well.” 

“Going to have to fuck me plenty, to make sure,” You drape an arm over his chest, “Hope you can keep up, old man.” 

[hoshinoyozora]

Poor, Unfortunate Soul(s)

🖤 Pairing: Yandere! Self-aware! Twisted Wonderland x Female! Reader

💛 Word Count: 1,3k+

❤ Warnings: -

[Edited]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission. Also, don’t ask for a sequel unless I like the story enough to write one. Please reblog so other people can see my stories!

***

Just a lil scenario about MC who ‘dismisses’ their existences aka me lmao.

“They’re just a bunch of game characters, anyway. Why should I care so much about them?”

You laughed, unaware of the hearts that you broke within the screen. The thin yet sturdy piece of glass that separated you from the people who thought of you as their world. Their everything. Your friend chuckled, adding salt to the injury. Had she didn’t ask you why you hadn’t logged into the game for days, weeks even, maybe they wouldn’t be so humiliated and disappointed.

But did that mean they wouldn’t know your true opinion on them otherwise?

Maybe ignorance was bliss, because, then, they would’ve kept holding onto the hope for you to come back. To still want them the same way they wanted you. In this world of codes and numbers, you were the one real thing in their lives. You were human. Warm, fleshy, and expressive. And yet, you dismissed their existences so easily just because you both lived in two different worlds.

Did they really mean nothing for you? Were all of your reactions towards them merely a façade? Or a memory so insignificant you forgot about it in the next day?

“Maybe I should just delete the app. It feels like a chore to open it nowadays.”

The sky darkened, the ground trembled, and the thunder rumbled as the result of a certain dragon fae. Was this your true self? Then again, NRC was a school of villains. They shouldn’t be surprised if you, the Player, turned out to be the biggest villain of all. Not even Malleus Draconia could hold a candle to you. Your words alone had the ability to mold and break their spirits. Your touch alone could move them somewhere else and show them how beautiful Twisted Wonderland was with you by their side. And your presence alone gave them a reason to live.

If you were to disappear, wouldn’t that be comparable to death? A slow, painful death where everyone lost themselves in depression and rage, and ultimately, destroyed themselves. In a moment of morbid curiosity, they wondered if that was what you wanted all along. You toyed with their hearts, and when you got bored, you moved onto their lives.

“We… we can’t just let her leave!” A boyish voice, thick with desperation and an even desperate attempt to recompose, shattered the mournful silence. Everyone recognized him as Ace Trappola, one of Yuu’s enviable first friends and troublemakers from Heartslabyul. “We need to stop her! Come on, guys. Are we really going to stop now, after everything we’ve done to reach her?”

“But how?” Leona asked, sounding even more listless somehow. Despite his pride and consent, you’d taken a peek into his past and remained amicable with him. It didn’t matter that it was for the sake of the plot, your vessel, Yuu, still approached him and asked for his help during Octavinelle’s story. Didn’t that mean something for you? For him? “Just because we’ve managed to hack into her phone doesn’t mean we can drag her here. There’s only so much we can do to make her stay.”

Ace flinched, unprepared for the reality to slap him twice.

“I-I don’t know.” He turned to face the Diasomnia gang who, with the exception of the sniffling Sebek, looked as somber as a funeral guest. “Malleus-senpai, Lilia-senpai, you guys gotta know something about bringing someone from another world, right? You guys are the strongest of the strongest. I don’t care if it’s forbidden. There… there has to be a way!”

For a moment, they were silent as though reluctant to admit their lack of knowledge. Ace wilted, his buckling knees threatening to collapse once the severity of the situation settled in.

That is, until Lilia opened his mouth.

“… There is, actually.” he murmured. “But for every soul that moves here, another has to replace them.”

Some of the characters lit up, but the others remained skeptical.

“And I assume it’s for the sake of balance?” Vil mused, crossing his arms.

Lilia’s glance confirmed his suspicion.

“T-then, what are we waiting for?” In a burst of hope, Azul momentarily stopped sobbing. “Let’s sacrifice that person.”

“But who’s gonna be that person?” Jamil retorted.

Everyone fell quiet again, unwilling to be the lamb in the altar of your capricious existence.

“The NPCs ‘live’ when the story is moving.” Idia mumbled through the floating device. His shyness and reluctance for a face-to-face interaction was customary, but nobody could truly see the underworld his sanity was falling at a rapid pace. Still, it didn’t change the fact that he still wanted to see you living among them. Literally. “That means she has to play again if we want to sacrifice one of them.”

“I, for one, would be more than willing to help ‘convincing’ her, if that’s what it takes.” Jade simpered with his eyes closed and a hand over his chest.

“Oui! It’d be a splendid day to see her sublime face gracing us again. The sun would shine warmly, the flowers would grow tastefully, and the birds would chirp merrily!” Rook enthused, jabbing at Malleus’s inadvertent use of magic.

Riddle wiped his teary eyes with the sleeve of his uniform and straightened up.

“Seeing that our Player has slackened in her responsibility to watch over us, it is our duty to set her right.” he declared. “Heartslabyul students, I order you to find this person and bring him here!”

“I-I agree…!” Sebek piped up, still loud as always despite his trembling voice and runny nose. “I shall seize him and send him to that world at once!”

Ever the dutiful one, Silver gripped his baton and nodded. As long as it wasn’t murder without a cause, he’d gladly perform any task like a true knight would.

“Well, if Riddle ordered us like this, who are we to disobey him?” Cater laughed, trying to hide the shakiness of his voice.

Trey pushed his glasses, foggy from the upcoming tears.

“Indeed. But I won’t lie, this is something that I’m looking forward to carry out.”

“For once, you did something right, Ace!” Deuce beamed proudly.

“Oi!”

Jamil glanced at Kalim, who reluctantly nodded. He hated to see people throwing away their lives carelessly, after all the assassination attempts that he suffered through the story. But if it was for the sake of seeing you with them, who was he to stop them?

Floyd grinned happily, but the anger of being abandoned by you darkened his eyes.

“Once she gets here, I’ll be sure to give her a nice, long squeeze as a welcome~”

“Well, Leona-san?” Ruggie asked, crossing his hands behind his head. “Are we gonna boost their morale or something?”

Leona sighed, lacking the irritated exhaustion he usually had. Even he wasn’t immune to the hope that Lilia brought to them, no matter how annoying it was to trust him.

“You better not be disappointing us, Lilia.” he growled. “And you, too, Radish Sprout.”

“I don’t like this.” Jack murmured. “But if this is what it takes to make the Player fulfill her role again, then I’ll do my best to live up to the expectations!”

“I… I will join as well!” Epel stated, clenching his fists resolutely.

“Look, Brother!” Ortho chirped. “You managed to bring them all together. That’s so cool!”

Idia muttered something, but the younger boy was too engrossed in their touching cooperation to notice.

Sunlight finally dispersed the dark clouds, mirroring their spirit. Malleus took a step forward with his chin raised in determination.

“Then, I shall assist Lilia with the magic.”

You said you didn’t care about them?

Well, they would make you care.

[luckykiwiii101]

The Blair Bitch Project

And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me. XoXo - Gossip Girl 💋 💌

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♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

————————————————————————————————————————

Welcome back, Upper East Siders.

Call me superstitious, but I’ve got a feeling this winter could be your last season on this app. Let’s face it, I’ve been at this a long time. But age breeds wisdom. And this I know: the best is yet to come.

From all around the world our favourite Upper east siders are asking the same question. “How do i get what i want?!”

“Why can’t I have it?!?! ughhh this isn’t fair!!!”

Well, call me crazy, but bitching about it, won’t get you to your final destination. Only if you use it the right way………

Think fast B, bitch about it? or BITCH about it?

Yes, I’m talking about the Blair BITCH Project.

Since the Blair Witch Project is SO LAST SEASON, I’ve got something new to bring to the table. And no, it’s not a 5 star meal, it’s much sweeter, or should i say sour.

No one said being a Bitch would be easy.

Well……I could make an exception if your name is Georgina Sparks or Serena Van Der Woodsen. But the Bitchiest Bitch of all Bitches Is our Queen B, Blair Waldorf. It’s the season to put on your louboutons and do what you do best, Bitch about it.

They say history repeats itself. But looks like B is charting a brand new course to success. Who knew being such a B-word would get you so far? Gotta take a few notes from Queen B herself!

As Blair said “You can’t make people love you but you can make them fear you.”

Yes i’m talking about those pesky little negative assumptions you hold in that thick little head of yours. Holding on to the seats on the limousine like Blair and Chuck. Speaking of Chuck, let’s Chuck those assumptions away, far far away.

“How am I going to do that?”

Just be yourse-

Oops. The inner Georgina jumped out just there. I was going to say be a bitch, but I guess there’s no difference……… (Just kidding……or am I? XoXo. Nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a little mystery).

It’s B’s party, and she’ll cry if she wants to. Everytime you open this app, you will bitch about how easy it is for you to enter the void state and how you always wake up in it. It’s your choice really. Vaunt about it in your posts, or the replies to any void related post you see. Bitch about it randomly in your mind everytime the void state comes to mind. Shouldn’t be difficult for a Stage 5 Bitch.

Careful ladies and gents. It’s easy to fall into the valley of overconsumption. Maybe you’ll even come across a faux bitch claiming to own a Chanel purse, but when they’ve been caught red handed, you may even start to think that you can’t have a Chanel purse. How tragic.



Fuel that energy into full bitch mode and vaunt your anger/frustration/sadness/irritation into bitching all about it, and replacing those ugly assumptions with prettier ones. They need a serious MAKEOVER! Ew.

SPOTTED: B taking what seemed like a innocent little stroll down central park, but we all know everything B does is NEVER innocent. She’s been caught RED handed, drowning her two-faced wannabes (negative assumptions) in a lake in central park, after crying them a river (vaunting) and drowning them in it. A classic Blair Bitch move. I like it.

Wait……? Can you hear that? It’s B. She’s at it again. OH EM GEE! Cover your ears. It’s a full blown bitch attack!!!!

Blair:

“OH MY GOD, I SWEAR I CANNOT EVEN CLOSE MY EYES WITHOUT ENTERING THE VOID STATE! I EVEN HEAR SOME STUPID BITCHES GOSSIPING ABOUT HOW I ALWAYS ENTER THE VOID STATE WITHIN 2 MINUTES! IT’S SO FRICKING ANNOYING! WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT ME!!!!!???!! UGH THEY WISH THEY WERE LIKE ME, THE PERFECT VOID MASTER! AS IF THEY COULD EVER! THIS IS WAY TOO EASY, IT’S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO STRUGGLE! LIKE HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH THE EASIEST THING ON THE PLANET! THAT’S LIKE BELIEVING THAT IT’S DIFFICULT TO BLINK OR SOMETHING!UGH IM WAYYYY TOO GOOD AT THIS!IT’S EASIER THAN FRICKINF BREATHING! UGHHHHHHHH!!!”

Negative Assumption:

“No you can’t hahahah ur so ba-.”

Blair:

“BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP! DOROTA!!! COME CLEAN THIS LITTLE SHIT UP! IT’S PISSING ME OFF! IM TOO GOOD AT THIS LMFAO! WHY IS IT SO EASY?!UGHHHH I COULD LITERALLY JUST SLAP SOMEONE RIGHT NOW! MY POWER COULD PROBABLY SEND THEM INTO THE VOID STATE OR SOMETHING!!! I ALWAYS WAKE UP IN THE VOID STATE. IT’S LITERALLY NOTHING. NO BIG DEAL. I’M USED TO IT ANYWAY!!!”

Careful ladies and gents. B might be the Big Bad Wolf in designer clothing.

Don’t become a bitch in the process……Or do, I don’t care. I see you. XoXo.

Still reading an American Horror Story? Close that damned book and open a new one. Just make sure it’s not the sequel. We don’t need a repeat of past……events.

[loserlvrss]

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 j. changmin ( 지창민 )

synopsis | you’d confessed your love to your best friend before graduating, and he didn’t feel the same. now that months had gone by, did he still not feel the same?

pairing : ji changmin x fem!reader   genre : oneshot, angst, alluded f2l, happy ending  warnings : language, alcohol / intoxication, slight emetophobia word count : 1.5k authors note : big lack of changmin truthers on this app btw :/ deobi get on this (im deobi)

“oh,” the silence after was thick, and unforgiving. it felt like your heart had just been ripped from your chest and squeezed so tight—tight enough to kill you where you stand. “i don’t know what to sa—i don’t feel that way, y/n. i’m sorry.” 

you knew somewhere not-so deep down that that would be his answer, but you thought, what the hell? you were on the doorstep of leaving the city, the verge of going off to a college far, far away anyways. except, yeah, what the hell… were you actually thinking? because in reality, did it potentially mess up your friendship with the only man you’ve ever been able to stand for more than a couple of minutes? maybe, but you couldn't let fear be the knife that hung over your head.

you were leaving; you had already left a couple months back, now in a new city. did it really matter anymore? changmin was halfway across the country, and you’d probably never see him again. so, it shouldn’t be the wind getting knocked out of you, or the constant rock in your shoe anymore, should it?

the music boomed against your ears, shaking your ribcage with every drop of the bass and snare. you cautiously looked around, (presumable) students chugging back beers and shots of clear liquids—or swapping spit—all while simultaneously moving to the track. you heard a loud cheer invade your ears, catching the tail end of a sunken ping pong ball. 

it felt like whiplash. 

“jen, what the hell is this?” 

your best friend turned to you, locking her arm in the crook of your elbow. “a frat, y/n! people our age go to those!” 

“how did you eve—“

“the guy throwing it,” she began, a huge smile spreading across her face as people brushed past with a lack of self awareness, “eric. he’s in my business class. and super hot!” she nudged your arm, “perfect, right?” 

you nodded hesitantly, mentally stuttering, “y-yeah… perfect.” 

she went on, disregarding your feelings entirely, “perfect man, perfect night.” instead swooning the air, “perfect, perfect, perfec—“ 

“if you say it one more time, i’m gonna throw up completely sober.” 

her neatly-shaped brows furrowed, “well we should fix that, what do you want? a beer?” 

“n-no, i’m okay.”

she rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed by your answer. “are you kidding me, y/n? let it go! just for one night and then i’ll let you sulk all you want tomorrow. please?” her hands were thrown together in a prayer position, “just be happy with me for once! he’s not here, he hasn’t been here.” 

months have passed since your dreaded confession, and you were still hung up on it like a waiting line on hold. he’d told you your answer; it should've been closure. 

it is closure. 

closure to a book you probably never should have opened, but the synopsis was too enticing. he was ji changmin for fuck sake, of course you had to love him. but jen was right, he didn’t, and he never would. he wasn’t with you right now. it was the broken record that you were finally taking off the player, the hand on a clock that had been stuck in place. 

he was everything you could’ve had, but he wasn’t the only thing you’ve ever needed. 

“vodka.” 

she hissed out a quiet yes, thrusting her fist into the air and dragging you across the lawn, onto the ricketiest porch you’ve ever seen. 

tomorrow you could care again, but during the early morning—after midnight—nothing mattered. when the moon was out, she was the only one who’d get to know how you truly felt. 

later, you found yourself in the kitchen with said host of the party, a couple drinks down. jen was right, he was hot—and perfect for her. 

the room spun as slurred words hit your ears, “oh my god, do you even remember what professor song said, eric?” her fingers dragged down his forearm, “opposites attract.” 

you clutched the counter, listening to their harmless flirting, “we’re in economics, jen.” 

she laughed, pointing to herself, “a,” then him, “plus b, equals c.” she adorned her statement with a heart, to which he had no choice but to laugh. nonetheless, you thought he was into it. 

they had the most painful eye contact you think you’d ever seen, smothering each other in desire but neither acting on it. maybe it was because you were there.

if you could read anything, it’s the room, and it was your cue to leave. 

“i’m gonna go… dance.” you said.

it didn’t capture her attention like you thought it would’ve. she’d never passed on the opportunity to throw it back before. she must really want him bad, you guess.

the music moved you so effortlessly, like you were made to keep your hands above your head and your hips swaying. you were careless at the moment, mind clouded with the people surrounding you. it smelled of cigarette smoke and lust. there were various vapors wafting through the air and meeting your senses. 

you couldn’t—didn’t—care. what even was his name anymore? with the alcohol in your system, it didn’t matter if it beat in time with your heart or not. 

he wasn’t here. 

and that's all you needed to know. 

“hey, pretty,” you were too far in your head that you didn’t even notice the hand that wrapped around your waist, squeezing the exposed skin of your torso. “do you go here?” they were close enough that their lips brushed the shell of your ear. you couldn’t recognize the voice, though if you were coherent enough you don’t think you’d have enough strength to even indulge the thought. your back pressed to his chest, his head in the crook of your neck, breath heavy on your skin as you threaded your fingers through his hair. 

the music was loud enough to drown out the sirens—the red flags waving—as you danced with a stranger. a stranger you hadn’t even turned around to see. it didn’t matter, even if he was the most beautiful model, moviestar or greek statue, it’d never compare to—

“y/n?” 

ji changmin. 

oh god, were you hallucinating your inner thoughts now? 

you swore that was his voice that called out to you, like you’d wished day and night for all those months back. you must’ve finally gone off the deep-end. or maybe it was all the secondhand smoke that became first now swimming inside your veins. whatever it was, you fought with the urge to want it, or to detest it. 

he wasn’t here. he couldn’t be. 

he gave you your answer, making the final decision and throwing the cards you’d spread on the table. you’d made the mistake of wearing your heart on your sleeve and giving it away so easily but, life has never been fair. 

regardless of being between heaven and hell, you were ripped away from the tight grip of the stranger. the touch was familiar. the touch you’d wanted to get to know further. the same touch you’d wanted to claim and keep for yourself, never letting him near another again. 

ji changmin, the man who had your heart still clenched in his fist. “what are you doing?” 

and anger overtook any love you’d felt for your best friend. 

tears brimmed, “what are you doing?” 

the guilt weighed heavy on your heart… you’d missed him so goddamn much, when you really shouldn’t have. 

what a perfect fucking night. 

“who is that?”

you shook your head in disbelief, ripping your arm from his grip. “why does it matter? are you going to replace him? do you even think you have the right to stare at me like a lost fucking puppy right now? why the fuck are you even here, changmin?” 

your iced-over heart couldn’t help but melt at the sight of him. he was still as perfect as you remembered. people changed over time, you knew that, but changmin never has. he’s always been yours to know, but he never wanted you the same way. your name has always followed my friend, when all you’ve ever wanted was for it to stop after the first word; my. mine. his. 

he backed down, “i wanted to hear your voice again… i missed you.” 

there it was… the claws ripping your chest open. he still knew every way to get you crawling back. he knew your brain too well. maybe that’s why you loved him, because, in reality, you two weren’t so different. 

always two birds atop the same wire, two stars in the same sky, two words next to each other in the same sentence. you were never paralleled lines, and it took him all of four months without you to figure it out. but he told you, under a random moon, that he never knew what he was feeling until he was numb. and the saying has always gone, you never know what you have until it’s gone. 

but, you’d never really be gone. 

please reblog and like <3 comments are appreciated ! thank you 4 reading © loserlvrss 2024 all rights reserved. 

networks : @deoboyznet @blossomnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet @k-films

taglist : @gluion @slytherinshua @mystarsohee @hursheys @seomisaho | send an ask to be added. 

back to masterlist !

[marengogo]

UGH!-9: Y’all Done Did It

Listening to the play list Who is Standing next to you 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Yes, I am enjoying my day-off, thank you for asking 😘. In fact, everything was going 🍑y, and then, as I scrolled on my husband’s post to see if other people had requested PIXID and liking all the ones who requested it 💜 I noticed one comment, and then a similar one and then I started scrolling …

WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS?:

The whole time AYS aired I left it alone. I saw this type of comments on the Blue Bird app, but I left it alone.

I thought: “Blue Bird AMI don’t know better Marengo, let them be …”, “Once the show is finished everyone will go back to their regularly scheduled stanning …” … that’s what I kept telling myself 😩 yet; here we are. 

For Fuck Sake:

Are You Sure?! 👏🏾 Is a Jungkook 👏🏾 and Jimin 👏🏾Show 👏🏾. Period👏🏾.

Do you know American Hustle Life? Yes! It is a Joonie, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, JM, Tae and JK show.

Do you know Bon Voyage? Yes! It is a Joonie, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, JM, Tae and JK show.

Do you know In The Soop? Yes! It is a Joonie, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, JM, Tae and JK show.

IT REALLY AIN’T THAT HARD. 

I don't even know how to keep explaining this. Forget the shipping, forget the fact that JK and JM might be a couple, forget ALL OF IT:

I know I still have to do the EI post about JK, but let me say this for the MILLIONTH TIME: JK IS NOR STUPID OR CRUEL. If he, and JM, wanted a show where they would invite members every other episode, they would have a show where they would invite members every other episode and this would have been clear from the very beginning, because just like myself, I believe organization and routine to be a big part of JK’s life. Tae was an exception/special guest. As simple as.

Does this mean that they hate the members' presence? No. Do they want to leave the band? No. Do they think they are the most important members? NO. It simply means that maybe, just maybe, these two particular members particularly enjoy each other’s company. Some of us think it is romantic, the general public think it is strictly friendship: WHATEVER! Can AMI please please please acknowledge all harmless forms of expression? Joonie came out with one of the best albums out there, by himself, and JK & JM went on various trips and adventures together, which they wanted to share with us, AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

Liking Are you Sure?! doesn't make you a shipper, liking Are you Sure?! doesn't make you less OT7, however, liking Are You Sure?! will make you a person who is accepting of whatever harmless forms of entertainment that are being gifted to you by people whom you supposedly care about, and that very obviously means a lot to them, SO AMI NEEDS TO STOP TRYING TO TWEAK IT, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT IN ANY WAY.

Yes I am a bitch, Yes I am petty, and Yes I am also OT7 AMI, an OT7 AMI who thinks two gentlemen in the band may fancy each other, but that is about it. I don’t go around forcing people to believe my perceptions, I don’t go brain-showing people into believing that these two individuals are married and I am very aware that they may just be straight men whom were never even curious. 

Remember my grammar pet-peeve? The one where I explained that Some people isn't the same as All people? Well, the same goes for Are You Sure?! Isn’t the same as A show like Are You Sure?! Like this person commented:

TRANS: A travel show. Something like Are You Sure? With Hobi 💜💜💜💜

This type of suggestion is totally fine. This ☝🏾, implies that the person understands that this particular show is something that two other members did, but it would be nice if two other members would make their own show with similar premises. So NO, Are You Sure Season 2?! Shouldn’t be a show with two other members and NO JK & JM don’t need to invite all the members if they don’t want to. And once again, for the love of everything that is demure,

it doesn't mean that they hate the members.

Okay? Okay.

Ayte, I’ve said all I wanted to say, now it's time for some comfort food & drinks.

またね！💋

Marengo.

[confessions-official]

I’m gonna sound like such a boomer saying this but I miss the days before cellphones were like a requirement to exist in modern society. I hate having to be available 24/7, I hate how almost everything (even ordering food) requires an app now, I hate constantly having to be plugged in all the time.

No I can’t just opt out. Not if I want to keep my job because we have our own stupid app where the schedule is posted that you have to check multiple times a day. If my boss needs someone to cover a shift and it’s my day off I’ll still get chewed out for not answering. And what excuse can I give for not answering the text immediately? Even if I really did miss it because I was asleep I’ll get shit because my boss will tell me I shouldn’t have had my phone on do not disturb. How else am I supposed to fuckin sleep? I get notifications from apps every time an email comes in regardless of if it spam or not, how am I supposed to sleep through that shit? It’s like I don’t get to be fucking human anymore.

I can’t even do my laundry at my apartment complex because there’s no other way to pay the machines but through the app. If I need to catch my bus but my phone dies I’m fucked because you have to pay through the mobile app and they don’t accept cash. I have to use an app to order at a lot of the restaurants around here even if I dine in! Ugggh!

I wish more than anything I could go back to 2009 or some shit when I was still in high school and cell phones still existed if you needed them but you could still get by without one. I don’t want any part in what is quickly becoming a cyberpunk dystopia thank you

 

[defnotciara]

The ultimate shifting guide! (Tips, methods, etc)

Before I actually get into this i just wanted to clarify that everyone’s shifting journey is different and just because something worked for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you too! In order to shifting you kinda have to experiment a bit from what i’ve learnt and done so far.

Keywords:

DR: Desired Reality

CR: Current Reality

WR: Waiting Room

Also, before we start i’m just going to go over what shifting is, if you dont want to read this part feel free to skip this is mainly for the people who are newer to shifting and are looking for a basic rundown before getting into everything else!

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

1 • YOU DONT NEED TO USE METHODS OR SCRIPTS!! The methods are there to guide the process for those who The scripts allow you to imagine, organize your DR, and fuel your desire to go to your dr. Another thing is that if you forget to script something chances are is taht your subconscious already remembered it so you don’t really need to worry much about it!

2 • Symptoms are not actually you shifting! It’s actually just your body falling asleep. Although some things like feeling your surroundings change, hearing voices from ur dr, etc do actually count as shifting? (In my opinion) But since symptoms don’t really let you know what you have shifted who’s to say that you haven’t?? Gaslight yourself into believing you have shifted and during this ask like rhetorical questions like “How is shifting so easy for me?” “Why am i so good at shifting” “How am i already in my DR” Doing this will help you distract your brain from that annoying voice thats like “Thats not true, you haven’t shifted yet?”

3 • Shifting is what you believe it is. If you believe that shifting is hard, or easy, or that you can’t shift then you won’t shift 🤷‍♀️ Why do you think people who were introduced to shifting by someone who they personally know shift pretty easily? Thats because they trust in what that person is saying and trusting that shifting is easy and real and that they can shift too if they tried, they aren’t “Lucky” its just that they don’t use apps like tiktok, tumblr, etc; that over complicate shifting because shifting is as easy as setting a intent to wake up in your DR.

4 • “Can i script xyz/Or are there any limitations” You can literally do anything and when i mean anything i mean anything, if you want to be able to fly go fly ! Oh, you want to shift to a cartoon/anime go shift to it. Literally nothing is stopping you from doing whatever you want its called a desired reality for a reason. But, please take into account that even if it is a different reality that doesn’t mean you can’t being back trauma with you to your CR also take into consideration that the people in your DR are just as real and human as you are so keep that in mind when scripting!

4 • “What is a clone?” A clone is basically just you in your CR once you’ve shifted (Unless your asleep while shifting clones shouldn’t really be a problem) Your clone will act exactly like you do and if your worried about them doing something you wouldn’t do you are able to dictate their activities/what they do while you are out partying with your S/O.

5 • “What can i do to make shifting easier?” There are many different resources for you to use on your shifting journey like mind reprogramming I personally recommend listening to “Reprogramming through habits|| Video guide by shifting with reya” (I will link at the very bottom of this post if you are interested!) This video includes a 4 day (Maybe more depending on the person) Mind reprogramming method that allows you to alter your beliefs on shifting, another thing you can try is Gateway tapes, these tapes are made by the Monroe Institution/CIA these tapes use a training system that uses meditation like techniques combined with sound technology to alter the states of consciousness (If you are interested in learning more i can maybe make a post about it another day) You are required to pay for them but some people upload them to youtube, google docs etc; for the people who can’t since they are quite expensive! (I HAVE A GOOGLE DRIVE OF THE SOME OF THEM SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE LINK IF YOU WANTT), there are many more ways to make shifting easier but these are just to name a few.

6 • Meditation, Meditation is so easy and super efficient in helping you shift! If you just take 5 or more minutes out of your day to meditate for a month or two you will definitely notice the difference it makes, not only does it destress you but its helpful for when you are trying to relax during a shifting attempt or just shift while doing it.

7 • Affirmations, affirmations are so incredibly powerful with shifting and manifestation because it’s literally so easy and doesn’t even take long to do! Affirmations are basically just words that you say/think to yourself that help you shift/manifest some affirmations that I personally use during shifting attempts or just during random times of the day just to remind myself that shifting is so easy. “Why is shifting so easy for me?” “I am shifting” “Every breath i take gets me closer to shifting” “Every “failed” shifting attempt just makes me get closer to shifting” Etc, etc, etc.

And thats it for now should i make another part? I feel like this is to short but i really wanted to post it because i felt bad for promising to post it yesterday but i ended up falling asleep while typingg 😭 I hope yall can forgive me loll, but anyways lmk what you think about this and pleasee let me know if theres any misinformation in this so i can fix it!!

Thanks for reading this, i hope you all have an amazing day/nightt !!

[valyrfia]

I feel like there is a very big difference between posting a lestappen or f1 ship rec list in your own page, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, tiktok, etc. and posting it on their page. If Alex comes across a lestappen video or rec list it's her "for you" page so she's stumbling into it for a reason. we shouldn't have to censor our space

There’s two reasons tumblr is preferred for RPF over every other social media and that’s because a. people involved tend to not be on it and b. unlike instagram or tiktok or twitter there isn’t an aggressive algorithm which is throwing different interests at you to see what sticks, everything is just in the tags you search up or the blogs you follow.

That’s why there’s no real “space” on mainstream social media like instagram/tiktok/twitter and to say that “oh Alex shouldn’t come into OUR space” is a moot point because if someone likes Formula 1 the chances are that the algorithm at some point is going to throw some sort of RPF content at them because all the algorithm of these apps is doing is trying to keep a person on the app by comparing to what a lot of others interact with. It’s why I‘ve been vocally so against blatant RPF on these sites. Like yeah if someone stumbles across RPF on tumblr or ao3 that’s on them but otherwise—I don’t know I think there’s a level of self-awareness needed. I’m not going to get into the morality debate but RPF IS a weird thing and should be widely regarded as such and there is a reason we should do everything in our power to keep it from the people involved.

Also, I interact with F1 content but absolutely no RPF content on my tiktok, and about once a month I get blatant Lestappen content or fic recs on there. I quite literally click not interested and close the app every single time in order to tell off my algorithm but it keeps happening. So if Alex or another person related to F1 stumbles across content on their FYP it’s really not their fault and I actually think it’s a little reductionist to interpret that as “oh well they’re coming into OUR space”

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction

Once a week I had to go back to the hospital/drug clinic, where I gave birth, to get my pills. I met Melissa and Meryem, who were also in the hospital with me 4 weeks ago and had their babies there.

On the way home, while Melissa and Meryem were waiting for the tram, I kept them some company. Melissa and I made fun of Meryem wearing sunglasses while it was snowing! This girl Meryem is such a diva! Her attitude is so strange to me. It takes getting used to, but she's nice. The three of us have agreed to meet here once a week, as long as we have to go to that clinic to get our drugs. So let’s see, where this friendship will take us.

After the tram came, I said goodbye to Melissa & Meryem. I was on the road a long time today and yesterday I came home quite late too. I got a new ID and passport, because I changed my name again. Daniel accompanied me. He had to sign a document, to confirm that we are in divorce and therefore, I want my old name back. And honestly, I really enjoyed the last two days. It did me good to get a bit out, alone, without my parents or Baby. I had fun and felt like myself again.

Just as it looked, my Mom wasn’t so happy that I came home late. She was upset. She accused me of not caring about my Baby. 😞🤦‍♀️

Mom: Here, your son! Take care of him!... I called you! Where have you been all day? You have a Baby now, an important responsibility waiting for you at home.

Me: O-..ok. Sorry. I had to go to the clinic, you know that! I need my pills.

Mom: Ik! But you left in the morning, now it's afternoon! What did you do there with all those Druggies? How about you quit that drug? Did you talk to the doctor about it?

Me: It's complicated. Ok?

Mom: What?🤨 ...Next time, I’ll accompany you!! I don’t want you hanging out with other druggies there. And what did you do with Daniel all day yesterday?

Me: You know why I met him. And Nico knows too!

Mom: Oh, really? Does Nico also know you’re coming home late? 

Me: I wanted to see Lucky, and you know what? I had a nice day with my Cat.

Mom: Your, cat?😦 Have you lost your mind?.. You have a child at home. Waiting for you! He misses his Mom! Forget about Daniel and Lucky. 😠

Me: You got me wrong! It’s not like you think, you don’t understand me. And once N.'s back, I'll go with him, to his Mom's, with Lucas!

Mom: Running away is what you do best. But well, please do this! Go to Nico's Mom!

I didn’t feel like arguing with my Mother. I knew she was worried because of my addiction. But that she accuses me of not caring about Lucas, is not ok! She just made everything worse for me. Maybe I really shouldn’t have gone to Daniel yesterday? I just wanted to see Lucky. I missed him! Anyway, I went up into my room with Lucas. I hugged him. I could feel my Baby missing me. That was the first time.......... I felt he needed me as a mother. Although I was totally sad about it, I also enjoyed this moment with him.

And sorry I was MIA for a short while. I wasn’t at home and with the Tumblr app I can’t really post or answer comments. (😠) Can’t wait to catch up. 🤗

Previous/Next

[nereidprinc3ss]

I know this is random but what do you actually think of age gap relationships

oooooh lets get controversial hehe

personally I don’t believe there is a one size fits all rule. some people say no more than 7 years, some people have equations according to your age…. but the thing is everyone is developmentally different. and i really dislike when people who cannot conceive of that idea try to make it black and white when it’s not.

obviously in some cases it’s wrong. especially when you’re a teenager because that time of life is full of so much rapid brain development that there is a genuine neurological difference even within just like two years. like a 17 year old IN MY OPINION should just not be with someone in their 20s period. once you hit 18 though you are free to make your own choices however i think men who are like “WHAT SHE’S 18 ITS LEGAL” are gross. you shouldn’t be solely concerned about whether it’s legal. there are genuinely 18 year olds who are more emotionally mature for their age but i question men who are interested in dating a teenager in their 20s and i don’t think most 18 year old girls should be dating someone in their 20s because most people are not as emotionally mature as they think they are (me included lmfao)

once you can legally drink alcohol i think people should leave you alone about it. yes your brain is not fully developed until 26 but at 21 you are fully an adult, you are living your life, you are making your own decisions and learning and if part of that process is dating someone too old for you then so be it! life is weird and people are weird and it’s all supposed to be weird. we don’t need to sterilize absolutely everything

in my OWN experience as someone who is neurodivergent and has never clicked with people my own age, i have absolutely no interest in dating a fellow 19 year old! because the other thing is that men emotionally and neurologically mature slower than women and i just do not have the patience to deal with a man who has the emotional capacity i had at 15. but im kind of in an awkward position because any grown man who pursues a teenager would definitely make me a little uncomfortable. if you meet someone and you click and you don’t KNOW they’re 19 or whatever, that’s different, but like on a dating app? any adult man who has his age range set to include barely legal i would really question. so that is why i’ll remain single because im not seeking out a 30 year old who is seeking out a 19 year old lmao

in general i think it’s a very case by case scenario and yeah i just super dislike people trying to make it a one size fits all rule when it’s simply not because everyone is different

[gourjenous]

Roommate Revelations || l.haechan

You had no idea what living with Haechan would really be like. At first, you thought it would be a relatively smooth transition. You’d known him for a while through mutual friends, and when you needed to move to the city for a new job, he was quick to offer you a room in his apartment. It seemed like a win-win situation—financially reasonable, plus you got along well with Haechan, so there shouldn’t have been any issues.

When you first moved in, everything seemed perfect. Haechan’s energy was contagious, filling the apartment with laughter, music, and late-night conversations that would last until the early morning. He was easy to talk to, always knew how to lighten the mood, and had a knack for making every situation feel fun. Whether it was going grocery shopping or binge-watching a random show on Netflix, being around Haechan made everything more enjoyable. He was, in a word, comfortable.

But comfort can be deceptive.

It didn’t take long for something to shift. Living with someone as outgoing and magnetic as Haechan had its challenges, but it wasn’t the typical roommate disagreements that got to you. No, the problem wasn’t Haechan’s habits or his loud music. The problem was something entirely different—something that started with the way your heart would skip a beat whenever he sat next to you on the couch or how your stomach would flip when his laugh filled the room. You tried to brush it off at first. After all, Haechan was known for his playful personality, always teasing everyone around him, always a bit flirty. It was just part of who he was.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. But the more time you spent with him, the harder it became to ignore the growing feelings inside you.

It was a Friday night when things started to change, when the lines between friendship and something more began to blur.

You had come home from a long day at work, exhausted but looking forward to a relaxing evening. As you opened the door to the apartment, the familiar sound of Haechan’s laughter echoed from the living room. He was lounging on the couch, watching something on TV when he spotted you.

"Hey, you’re home!" he said brightly, flashing that signature smile that always seemed to make your heart flutter. "I was about to order some food. You hungry?"

You kicked off your shoes and dropped your bag by the door, already feeling the tension of the day begin to melt away. "Yeah, starving actually. What are you thinking?"

"Pizza?" Haechan offered, grabbing his phone and scrolling through his delivery app. "We could do extra cheese. I know that’s your thing."

You smiled, touched by the fact that he remembered such a small detail. "Yeah, sounds perfect."

As Haechan placed the order, you sank onto the couch next to him. Your leg brushed against his, and the warmth of his body sent an unexpected shiver up your spine. It was a subtle touch, one that normally wouldn’t have meant much, but tonight it felt... different.

"You okay?" Haechan asked, glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow.

You cleared your throat, trying to shake off the weird feeling. "Yeah, just tired."

He nodded, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Rough day?"

"Rough week," you corrected, leaning back against the couch cushions.

"Well," he said, shifting slightly so that he was sitting closer to you, his knee now resting against yours. "Pizza and a movie will fix that. We can watch something dumb and chill out."

You nodded, grateful for the distraction. Haechan always had a way of making you feel better, even if it was just with simple things like watching a ridiculous movie or ordering food. The two of you quickly fell into your usual rhythm—joking around, making fun of the plot, and just enjoying each other’s company. But tonight, there was an underlying tension that neither of you acknowledged.

When the pizza arrived, you both grabbed slices and settled back into your spots on the couch. Haechan, being his usual self, couldn’t resist making dramatic commentary on the movie, causing you to laugh so hard at times that your sides hurt. Yet in between the laughter, there were moments where you’d catch him looking at you, his gaze lingering a bit too long.

At first, you brushed it off as your imagination. But then it happened again. And again.

You weren’t sure what to make of it. The two of you were close, sure, but you had never thought of Haechan as someone who could return your feelings. He was naturally affectionate, flirty even, but you’d seen him act like that with all of his friends. Why would he treat you any differently?

As the movie went on, you became more aware of the space between you—or rather, the lack of space. Haechan had gradually shifted closer until his leg was fully pressed against yours, his arm draped lazily over the back of the couch behind you. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it was making it increasingly difficult to focus on anything other than him.

The movie ended, but neither of you made a move to turn off the TV. Haechan was lying on his back now, his head resting on your lap as he scrolled through his phone, completely relaxed.

"You’re quiet tonight," he remarked, glancing up at you with a curious expression. "What’s going on in that head of yours?"

You hesitated, unsure of how to answer. How could you explain the confusing mix of emotions swirling inside you? How could you admit that being this close to him was making your heart race in ways you didn’t quite understand?

"I’m just tired," you said after a moment, your hand absentmindedly running through his hair.

Haechan hummed in response, closing his eyes and leaning into your touch. "You’re a terrible liar, you know."

Your hand froze for a second, your fingers still tangled in his soft hair. "What do you mean?"

He opened his eyes, tilting his head slightly so he could meet your gaze. "I mean, you’re acting weird. You’ve been distant lately. Did I do something?"

His tone was light, but there was a genuine concern in his eyes that made your chest tighten. He was looking at you so intently, waiting for an answer, and suddenly you felt like you couldn’t keep pretending.

"It’s not you," you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. "It’s just... I don’t know. It’s hard to explain."

Haechan raised an eyebrow, his curiosity clearly piqued. "Hard to explain? Try me. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

You nodded, biting your lip as you tried to find the right words. "Yeah, I know. It’s just... I’ve been feeling kind of confused lately."

"Confused?" Haechan sat up slightly, shifting so that he was now facing you fully. His expression softened as he studied your face. "About what?"

There it was. The moment you’d been dreading. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, your palms growing sweaty as the weight of your unspoken feelings pressed down on you.

"About us," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Haechan’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he leaned in closer, his expression a mixture of curiosity and something else you couldn’t quite place. "Us?"

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. "Yeah. I just... I don’t know how to say this without making things weird."

"You’re already making it weird by not saying it," Haechan teased lightly, though there was a gentleness in his voice that put you at ease.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. "I’ve been feeling... different lately. About you. I don’t know when it started, but it’s been driving me crazy."

Haechan didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at you, his gaze searching your face for some kind of explanation. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he smiled—a soft, almost shy smile that you hadn’t seen from him before.

"Different how?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated for a moment, but you knew you couldn’t back out now. "I think I like you. More than just as a roommate. More than just a friend."

There. You said it. The weight of those words hung in the air between you, and for a moment, you were terrified of what might come next. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if you had just ruined everything?

But then Haechan did something you didn’t expect. He reached out and gently cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek.

"I was wondering when you’d figure that out," he said softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Your breath caught in your throat. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he continued, his smile widening, "I’ve been feeling the same way for a while now. I just didn’t know if you’d ever pick up on it."

You blinked, your mind struggling to process his words. "You... you have?"

"Yeah," he said with a small laugh, his thumb still tracing gentle circles on your cheek. "Why do you think I’ve been so flirty with you? I was kind of hoping you’d take the hint."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, the tension that had been building between you suddenly melting away. It felt surreal, like the air around you had shifted, and the weight of all your unspoken feelings was finally lifted. You had spent so long doubting yourself, unsure if what you were feeling was real, but now here you were, face to face with the person you hadn’t realized had been feeling the same way all along.

"You’ve been flirting with me this whole time?" you asked, your voice a mix of disbelief and amusement.

Haechan let out a soft laugh, his hands still gently holding your face. "Of course I have. I just didn’t want to freak you out. I thought you’d never notice." His tone was teasing, but there was a vulnerability in his eyes now, something deeper, like he had been holding this back just as much as you had.

"I thought that was just… you," you admitted with a nervous laugh. "You flirt with everyone."

He chuckled again, this time more earnestly. "Okay, yeah, I’m naturally flirty, but this was different. I’ve been dropping hints, like, left and right, and you were just totally oblivious."

You couldn’t help but smile, the anxiety you had been holding onto for so long starting to fade. "I guess I’ve been too scared to see it for what it was."

Haechan’s thumb continued to brush your cheek, the gesture soothing. His voice dropped slightly as he looked at you with a seriousness that you hadn’t seen from him before. "Well, now that we’ve got everything out in the open… what do you want to do about it?"

The question hung between you, and for the first time in what felt like weeks, you didn’t feel the familiar knot of anxiety in your stomach. Instead, there was a warmth—a sense of clarity. You didn’t have to keep questioning what this was or where it was going. You knew now that you weren’t alone in your feelings.

"I think," you said slowly, your heart beating faster as you spoke, "I’d like to see where this goes. If you’re up for that."

Haechan’s smile grew, a spark of excitement dancing in his eyes. "You’re really asking me if I’m up for it? You’re the one who’s been holding out on me this whole time."

You laughed, feeling the tension between you ease even further. "Okay, fair point. I guess I’ve been a little slow on the uptake."

Haechan shifted closer to you, his hands sliding down to rest on your shoulders as he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, does this mean I get to stop pretending like I’m just your annoying roommate and start being something more?"

Your heart pounded at the way he said something more. You nodded, unable to hide the grin spreading across your face. "Yeah, I think it does."

He didn’t wait another second. Before you could even process what was happening, Haechan leaned in, closing the distance between you and pressing his lips softly against yours. It wasn’t rushed or urgent; it was slow, deliberate, and full of all the emotions that had been building between you for weeks. The world seemed to slow down as you kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his hair, tugging him closer.

When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily, but the atmosphere between you was light—relaxed, like a weight had been lifted off both your shoulders.

"Wow," you breathed out, barely able to process what just happened. "That was…"

"About time?" Haechan finished for you with a cheeky grin.

You laughed, your forehead still pressed to his. "Yeah, about time."

For a moment, the two of you just stayed like that, caught in a bubble where nothing else mattered. The TV in the background was still humming, the empty pizza box sat forgotten on the coffee table, and the dim lighting of the apartment cast a soft glow over the both of you.

It was Haechan who finally broke the silence. "So, does this mean we’ll have to tell our friends we’re dating now?" He said it so casually, as if the concept of the two of you dating had been a foregone conclusion all along.

Your stomach did a little flip at the word dating, but it wasn’t fear this time—it was excitement. "I mean, we could… or we could just let them figure it out on their own."

Haechan raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "You really want to see how long it takes them to notice?"

You shrugged, grinning. "Hey, if I was this oblivious, maybe they’ll be too."

He let out a laugh, pulling you closer to him as he leaned back against the couch. "You’re such a dork."

"And you’re stuck with me now," you teased, resting your head on his shoulder.

Haechan wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his side as he kissed the top of your head. "I wouldn’t have it any other way."

The days that followed felt surreal, like you had crossed a threshold into something new and exciting. You and Haechan didn’t need to make a big announcement to your friends—slowly, they started to pick up on the changes. The lingering glances, the inside jokes that had always been there but now carried a deeper meaning, the way you seemed to gravitate toward each other more naturally.

Johnny was the first to call you out on it. "So… you and Haechan, huh?" he had asked one day, a sly grin on his face as the two of you grabbed lunch.

You had almost choked on your drink, but Johnny just laughed, clearly having known all along. "Took you guys long enough."

One by one, the rest of your friends started to catch on, and the teasing was relentless. But none of it mattered, because for the first time in a long time, you felt completely at ease with your feelings. Haechan was by your side through it all, as playful and supportive as ever, but now there was an added layer of something deeper between you—something that made every moment feel brighter.

Being with him felt natural, like it was always supposed to be this way. You were still figuring things out, still navigating this new territory of being more than just roommates, but it didn’t feel daunting. It felt exciting. Every day was a new revelation, a new opportunity to discover something else you loved about him.

And as for Haechan? He was just as insufferably cheeky as ever, constantly reminding you that he had been waiting for you to "catch up" to him all this time.

But in those quiet moments, when the teasing stopped and it was just the two of you, Haechan would look at you with that soft, tender expression—the one that told you everything you needed to know. You had crossed the line from roommates to something more, and there was no going back.

Not that you wanted to.

In fact, you couldn’t imagine your life any other way.

Because now, with Haechan by your side, everything felt right.

And that’s how the revelation of your true feelings transformed everything—turning a friendship and a simple roommate situation into something so much more meaningful, so much more real. The world was brighter with Haechan in it, and together, you were ready to face whatever came next, side by side.

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter two | the lights are so bright but they never blind me

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.1k

summary: you have to adjust to life in the public eye as ben’s supposed girlfriend...and ben has to adjust to the sight of you wearing his chelsea kit to a game

A/N: thanks for more lovely messages, they really encourage me to update faster lol! i’m sorry this one’s a bit shorter, the next update will definitely be longer 😌 chapter title is from welcome to New York

previous chapter | view all chapters

The morning after the gala, you wake up in Ben’s guest room feeling relaxed and refreshed.

You always seem to get a better sleep when you stay at his, though you’re not sure if that’s due to his comfy mattress and expensive sheets or the fact that he lives out in Cobham and it’s significantly quieter than your own flat.

This state of relaxation lasts for about five minutes, or until you get a text from your friend Valerie asking if you’ve been on Twitter today.

Bracing yourself, you open the app and already see Ben’s name trending.

You’ve gained some followers over the years when Ben has posted you on his socials, but it’s nothing compared to the way people are currently talking about you all over the internet.

It’s not just on Twitter - your Instagram following count has already grown exponentially, and your comments are filled with everything under the sun, from praise to cruelty.

You know Ben gets shit like this all the time, and Mia warned you it would be coming your way, but it’s still surreal to read about yourself online.

Especially when none of it is true. Even the nice tweets about what a lovely couple you make are based on a lie.

You can’t resist going down the rabbit hole for a few minutes, reading pages of tweets from Ben’s fans speculating about your relationship, some negative and some positive. Eventually, you can feel your brain starting to hurt, and you know it’s in your best interest to shut your phone off for a while.

Begrudgingly, you force yourself to get out of bed and face the day. You make your way downstairs in your pyjamas, stretching your arms out as you enter the kitchen.

Ben is already awake, like he usually is at this time, and he’s standing by the stove in joggers and an old Nike sweatshirt, flipping pancakes that you know are not a part of his diet plan.

“Pancakes?” you question, startling Ben a bit as he turns to face you.

“Morning,” he says with a small smile. “Yeah, with blueberries. They’re for you. Figured it’s the least I could do since-“

“Since I’m being torn apart online by football fans?” you joke - or, at least, you mean it as a joke.

Ben’s face falls, his eyes wide with concern, and he sets down the spatula to walk over to you.

“I am so sorry, Y/N,” he says seriously. “I didn’t know it would be like this. I’ve obviously never had a real girlfriend before, so I didn’t think about it.”

“Ben, it’s-”

“I called Shreya as soon as I saw everything and had her prepare an exit strategy, she’s already confirmed our relationship to the press but she thinks we can back out of it if-“

“Ben,” you say a bit more firmly, placing a hand on his arm. “Why would we need to back out of this? Does she not think it’s working?”

Ben just blinks at you for a moment before shaking his head. “Well, no, actually. Apparently I’m getting great press from it, and you’re the one getting all the shitty comments. But I-”

“I’m fine with it, then,” you shrug. “I’ll just make my Instagram private, you know I don’t really care about social media anyways. I’ll be fine.”

Ben still doesn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure? I hate the thought of you having to read that crap,” he mumbles. “I’m used to the pricks, but you shouldn’t have to be.”

“It’s fine, Ben, I swear,” you insist, squeezing his shoulder. “Actually, some of your fans seem to like me. Or they like that I supposedly keep you grounded or whatever bullshit Shreya fed the press.”

“Well, that part’s not total bullshit,” Ben says with a small smile that makes your cheeks flush slightly. “Thank you again for doing this. And you can still change your mind at any time, you know.”

“I know,” you say, mirroring his smile. “Now hurry up before you burn my pancakes.”

“Oh, shit!”

-

By the next weekend, you’ve gotten pretty used to “dating” Ben.

You go private on your socials as you discussed, with the official statement from Ben’s publicist being that you two ask for privacy as a new couple. Naturally, this only makes everyone more interested, including the media.

As Shreya hoped, the headlines now describe Ben as a “man in love” and someone ready to “settle down with a nice girl.” There are tabloid articles with pictures of you two - some from before you were even pretending to date - and all the information they could dig up on you, including your job.

It’s all a bit weird, but the weirdest part is definitely when you have to actually corroborate your story of being Ben’s girlfriend. Which, as far as everyone outside your inner circle is concerned, you now are.

It definitely feels strange lying when, for example, one of the doctors you work with congratulates you on your relationship. (Turns out her son is a Chelsea fan and she wants to know if you could ask him to sign a kit or something, which you promise to make happen.)

You’re relieved when the only event you have to attend this weekend is Ben’s game, which you would’ve gone to anyways. You’re also going with his sister Alex, who is obviously in on the whole thing, which makes it easier.

She meets you at your flat, which is conveniently only about ten minutes away from Stamford Bridge on the tube, an hour before the game.

After you tightly embrace Ben’s sister, who is like a younger sister to you as well, she grins and passes you a small gift bag.

“You got me a present?” you ask in confusion.

“It’s not from me, it’s from Ben,” she chuckles. “He also said to say he’s sorry and that it was Shreya’s idea.”

You open the bag and pull out a familiar article of clothing - a brand new Chelsea shirt with Ben’s name on the back.

Of course, as Ben’s girlfriend, it would make sense that you be wearing his kit.

“Oh, god, let me go change.”

Once you’ve replaced the plain blue t-shirt you were wearing with the shirt Ben sent over, you walk back out and find Alex with an amused look on her face.

“How do I look?” you ask a bit sarcastically as you do a twirl.

“Like a proper WAG,” Alex laughs. “Let’s go, my future sister-in-law.”

You groan as Alex grabs you by the arm and you depart for the match.

Although you’ve come to see Ben play at the Bridge more times than you can count, you have never felt this many eyes on you as you make your way to your seats. There are people not-so-subtly taking your photo as you walk up, probably made all the worse by the Chilwell kit you have on - though you suppose that’s the point.  

The match begins, and you cheer at the top of your lungs for Chelsea, just as you have from the day Ben signed for them. You never really cared that much about football, and you didn’t support any particular club growing up, but you’ve always been Ben’s number one fan.

Today, he’s playing well, making you as proud as ever. It’s not hard to pretend to be the supportive girlfriend when every flawless pass or run forward has you leaping out of your seat with unrestrained enthusiasm.

At half-time, Chelsea are up by 1 against Newcastle, and you and Alex are happily chatting and catching up over a beer.

“I saw all the pics of you guys at the gala on Twitter,” Alex says with a smirk on her face, lowering her voice so nobody overhears. “I know it’s weird to say since you’re basically part of the family, but you actually look quite good together.”

“Ew, Alex, there’s no way,” you insist, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks. “He’s…Ben.”

Alex just laughs and drops the subject as the game resumes and the boys come back out of the tunnel.

Around the 85th minute, with the score now tied 1-1, Ben comes running up the side and makes an excellent pass to Conor, who scores and secures the win. You jump out of your seats to cheer as the guys celebrate on the pitch, you rolling your eyes with affection as Ben and Conor jump up and down with excitement.

The whistle blows shortly after with Chelsea leaving victorious, and you and Alex make your way down to the tunnels to meet up with Ben. With this being their fourth win in a row, the atmosphere at the Bridge is electric, a far cry from last year’s rough season.

It’s so nice to see Ben so happy again, and the smile on his face only seems to grow tenfold when he spots you and Alex making your way over to him.

You can’t resist picking up your pace to a light jog as you move toward him, and his arms are already open to pull you into a tight hug that lifts your feet off the ground and makes your heart soar in a similar fashion.

“That assist was brilliant,” you murmur into his shoulder before he sets you down.

Ben pulls away, still beaming at you, his sweaty hair curled down over his forehead.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles, his eyes wandering to the shirt you’d almost forgotten you were wearing.

It’s not the first time you’ve worn his kit - his England debut and the Champions League final come to mind - but those were special occasions, with the rest of his friends and family wearing it too. This is obviously different, and although Ben sent it over for you to wear, his eyes are locked to you like he’s trying to memorize every thread of the fabric.

You can’t figure out why he seems so transfixed, but you don’t have much time to dwell on it before you’re interrupted.

Alex clears her throat, snapping Ben out of whatever trance he was in, and he pulls her in for a hug.

“So, to celebrate the win and Ben’s assist, I’m thinking he should take us out for a nice dinner?” Alex suggests, smiling and nudging your arm.

“Shouldn’t you be buying me dinner?” Ben raises an eyebrow. When you both just laugh, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Alright. I’ll go shower, you make a reservation somewhere.”

After you and Alex have picked out the fanciest-looking sushi place you could find online and collected Ben from the changing rooms, you make your way to his car. Just like after every game, the paparazzi are out trying to get videos and photos of the players leaving the stadium.

This time, however, most of the attention seems to be directed at you.

The lights begin to flash the moment you exit the building, and Ben reaches down to take your hand without a second of hesitation. Whether it’s to flaunt your “relationship” further or just to comfort you, you’re not sure, but it’s definitely working either way.

“Y/N, did you enjoy the match today?”

You know you don’t have to answer any of their questions, but you’d rather not be branded as cold or rude as the media loves to do when a woman ignores them.

So you squeeze Ben’s hand and nod, smiling at the man recording you.

“Of course, the team played really well.”

“And what did you think of Ben’s performance?” they fire back at you.

“He was amazing,” you say without missing a beat. “I always love watching him on the pitch.”

You can see Ben smiling at you as you speak - a genuine smile that you know has nothing to do with the cameras surrounding you - but he startles you slightly when he leans in to peck your cheek and lets his lips linger there for a moment. They’re soft and warm against your skin, and you feel significantly colder when they pull away.

You’ve clearly spurred on the media even more with this sudden display of affection, but Ben begins to pull you along with him and help you into the car before either of you has to answer any more questions.

You breathe out a sigh of relief as you settle into the passenger seat, Ben and Alex entering the car moments later.

“Nice show, you two,” Alex laughs, obviously still amused by the sight of you and Ben pretending to be a couple.

“You okay, Y/N?” Ben asks, looking over at you. “Sorry if the cheek kiss was too much. I know it’s a bit awkward.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you assure him, rolling your eyes. “It’s fine. Of course it’s gonna be awkward sometimes, but as long as it’s helping with the PR plan, right?”

Ben nods gratefully and smiles at you once more before asking Alex for directions to the sushi place.

You’re grateful for her chatting away about how hungry she is, and for the song Ben is playing loudly through the speakers as you drive to the restaurant, both of which are helping to distract you from how alarmingly not awkward this all feels.

A/N: let me know what your thoughts are after this chapter!! things start to heat up in the next one i promise ;)

tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe​ @batmansb1tch​ @ncentic​ (let me know if you would like to be added!)

[inklore]

I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk

Srry for the rant <333

no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3

i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).

you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).

but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.

if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).

if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!

[siremasterlawrence]

Chef’s Kiss

Is it evil to agree to have dinner with my hot next door neighborhood daddy and his kids with an agenda of my own? Maybe my dear!However I am literally at the front door of his home taking a breath and then knocking on it hard. A few minutes pass as I hear feet shuffle to rush over and open it a firm and assured handshake is offered as I cross the threshold into his home and I know it is far too late to back out now.

“Hello! I made it”

“Great to see you! Lawrence”

“May I ask?

“Take a lead off and sit “

“I’ll get you some wine”

“Thank you! Perfect for me”

“What did you say?”

“I made these for you “

“Really! Oh sweet!”

“I’ll have some later “

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t want to ruin my dinner “

“You won’t”

“I promise”

“Why are you ….”

“Yes!”

“You are right! I’ll have one”

“Correct! Sit down at your dinner table”

“Ok! Can’t wait “

“Actually on the couch”

“Eat as much as you want “

“I shouldn’t but heck”

“These smell so lovely “

“You are a confectionery genius”

“Having a moment here”

“Sorry! You should open a bakery”

“One day! God willing but for now eat it up”

I watch him dig into one cup cake like a tiny delicate treat tasting it like it is the most all inspiring and chef approved marvel of a cup cake on a level never seen before as his eyes are all a glow taking them in one by one of course. I left him to his station on the couch lost in a sea of sweats and love entering the kitchen I begin to look for a wine glass, uncork the champagne taking a sip as he munches on completely ignoring everything around him.

“Are you alone tonight or will we have company?”

“Just us bud”

“Perfect! Why don’t you finish the last one “

“With pleasure”

“I feel weird”

“How so?..”

“Light! Dumb! Drunk!”

“Can you tell me who you are?”

“Chris Lyle! Right? I think”

“You got it! Do you know where you are?”

“FUCK No! Who cares?”

“Do me a favor?”

“Why are you wearing a suit?”

“Dude! Hell no!”

“You are a bro man”

“I am about to go change “

“Yeah! Do that”

“Mwahahahahaha! As planned”

I knew it would take him at least a hour to change because he no longer can focus on anything in particular except for all of me it’s my secret ingredient simply put and you will love it really it’s my bodily fluids mixed in with my scent. While he trudges away his cellphone begins to ring alerting me to a text I receive, I reply back to not come home tonight because I need some time for myselfback and I get a smile a emoji form all of his kids like it’s the latest fad all do sudden any way I am getting side tracked.

The plane is halfway completed as I grab my got to bag placing it on the table slide the zipper down the side pocket to retrieve my phone, I swiftly connect to my cell to his speakers shifting through my playlist in my music app and I land on hypnotic tunes as I press play and raise the volume. It is a list specifically attune to my chemical make up so only someone who is connected to me will be affected, upstairs the minute the first track hit his ears the lights went out in his eyes and he began to undress and I take over the kitchen rummaging through his fridge I begin to prepare meal mixing spice made with my bodily fluids.

“Mmmmm! What is that delightful aroma?”

“It’s my spices I created”

“They are heavenly”

“May I help!”

“Sure Chris! Dance across the floor “

“I’ll slide”

“Someone is in a good mood”

“Never felt more alive “

“You are a great cook”

“Ok bro! Taste this for me”

“Oh Lord!”

“What? No good!”

“You have to sell this “

“Seriously! I think this is made with love “

“Blood sweat and tears”

“Literally!”

“Why do I feel attracted to you ?”

“You are straight right?.”

“I thought so”

“Kiss me”

“Mmmm! Oh fuck that! I love you Master!”

The end