#we really saw steve and decided to give him some trauma

[lostintheoceanv]

[queenie-ofthe-void]

I've seen a few secret admirer Steddies going around where Steve's the one giving the notes (which I LOVE! I feel like those aren't as common)

But I headcanon Steve as having the worst handwriting. Therefore, I present platonic partners in crime CheerKing (is that right? Idk)

~~~

Under no conditions would Steve ask Carol to write the notes. But he's always liked Chrissy, and she seems trustworthy.

They strike up a deal. Chrissy will dictate Steve's notes and drop them in Eddie's locker herself. In return, Steve has to act as her fake-boyfriend to keep Jason at bay.

Then SHENANIGANS! Eddie gets feelings for Admirer, he sees Chrissy slip a note in his locker after Hellfire one evening. He's never had someone crush on him before, and he's straight (cue internalized homophobia, childhood trauma, big feelings for Steve he can't process) so he tries to convince himself he likes her.

The only problem is she's dating King Steve. Eddie hates the guy, with his stupid shiny hair and his big brown eyes and his moles and his smile... why does he get all the girls? Chrissy's the first girl to ever like him and of course Mr. Dreamy is dating her. They're not even clingy like he was with Wheeler so he probably doesn't even like her that much, just sees her as a rebound.

Eddie actually replies to the notes, leaving them in the library books Admirer tells him to. Steve knows Eddie likes Admirer, the pieces of Steve he shares in the notes, and it's the only way Steve gets to talk to him and he lives for it. But instead of Eddie asking who Admirer is, Steve watches as Eddie starts flirting with Chrissy. Steve gets all hurt and jealous because he thought Eddie was gay but now he's unsure. Still, he can't give up getting Eddie's replies, so he keeps writing.

Does Chrissy play along to keep Steve's secret even though this guy is crushing on her? Chrissy really likes Eddie, but she likes him as a friend. She decides to not tell him he's mistaken, because she wants to keep getting invites to band practice at Gareth's so she can spend more time with their cute friend Jeff.

Let's make it even more complicated! Instead of Tammy Thompson, Robin has a crush on Chrissy and sees her slip a note into Munson's locker on her way out of band practice and decides she's going to tell Steve to take him down a peg and hopefully breaks up with Chrissy. They then have a bathroom scene: she's been watching Steve and Chrissy for months and tells him how it's fucked up that he follows Eddie around, stares at him across the cafeteria, etc (she's saying it's bc Steve's jealous / Steve thinks she's calling him out). So he confesses, and cries. She feels like an asshat so she comes out too. They're just two gay idiots in love with straight people (only one of them is wrong. Sorry Robin!! Idk how to fix that part).

Steve starts coming with Chrissy to Hellfire night. Steve's doing it for protection from Jason, who's getting increasingly angry about Chrissy and Eddie. Eddie thinks Steve's being nice because he's sizing him up, trying to insert himself in between him and Chrissy in some macho way.

It all comes to a head when Jason catches Chrissy hanging with Jeff in the library (she's told Jeff EVERYTHING and is picking up Eddie's last reply). Jason hears them talking about Eddie planning to ask Chrissy out and decides to follow Eddie out to the quarry after school. Robin saw Jason pull out behind him and runs to tell Steve before he starts practice.

Steve rushes out and saves Eddie, then brings him home to patch him up. Eddie's pissy about it, Steve thinks it's adorable but frustrating. Jeff and Chrissy stop by the trailer when Eddie misses practice.

Eddie confesses his feelings to Chrissy, but she's holding hands with Jeff. Steve's forced to admit he's Admirer, sending Eddie head first into a sexuality crisis. But it's happy ever after so it's all good.

We get platonic hellcheer, platonic kingcheer (??), platonic stobin, Jeff x Chrissy (corrodedcheer??), and Steddie.

Idk there's something here but I don't want to write it lol Too many POVs and through lines for a person who already has a million WIPs.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 21, Unacceptable - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, violence, mentions of sexual situations.

Word Count: 1.3k

Previously On...: Oh, look-- you didn't sleep with Steve, after all! THANK FUCKING GOD. So what if Bucky thinks that you did? lololololol

A/N: NGL, this part was delicious to write. Pocket setting of explosions, baby.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

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You stepped into the conference room, still wearing Steve’s shirt, though you’d paired it with a pair of leggings and a belt, and your go-bag slung over your shoulder. You figured if Bucky thought the two of you had slept together, you may as well feed into the notion. Good. Let him have a taste of his own fucking medicine. You smiled when you saw Sam had beat you there and was already sitting at the conference table, chatting with Steve.

You sat down next to Sam. “Morning, boys,” you said, voice more cheerful than you felt after your confrontation with Bucky earlier. “Are we ready to rock and roll?”

“Damn, Baby Girl!” Sam grinned back at you as he took in your altered appearance. After you finished packing, you’d met with a hair stylist and had her dye your hair from its normal hue to a more stripper-appropriate bubble bath pink, and had her put in extensions so your hair came down to your ass in long, loose curls. 

Steve just smiled at your transformation and slid you a manilla folder. You opened it up to find a fake ID, documentation, and a brief dossier with your cover history.

“I hope you don’t mind, Pocket,” Steve began, “but I discussed it with Tony and we decided it would be best if you resumed your old dancer alias. That way, if anyone has any questions about your background, there’s a legitimate history for them to follow up on.” You nodded that was smart. “Cherry Pie’s back in action, then?” you grinned.

Steve smiled. “Looks like. Tony also wanted to apologize for not being here to say goodbye; there was some need for Iron Man’s services in Belize early this morning.” You nodded, sad that you had to miss out on saying goodbye to him, and to thank him for the party, especially when you didn’t know how long it would be before you saw him again. “He also said to tell you he’s arranged to have all your presents moved up to your new room for when you get back but, if you want them at any point while you’re in Atlantic City, to just let him know and he’ll…” Steve paused to check to check a piece of paper that apparently had Tony’s instructions on them, “‘fly them down myself because if she thinks I’m going to let her stay undercover with that birdbrain–’” 

“Hurtful!” interjected Sam.

“‘--with that birdbrain and not come down and personally check to make sure she’s still alive, she’s gonna have to think again.’” Steve finished. 

You laughed. “Yeah, alright. Tell him I said thanks,” you said.

Before anything more could be said, your attention was caught by a ruckus outside the conference room. You could hear the sound of doors being slammed open and someone stomping their way down the hall toward you, and an angry voice bellowing out “ROGERS!”

“Oh shit, Cap,” Sam grinned, “What’d you do?”

Bucky came barreling through the double doors of the conference room, sending them both flying into the adjacent walls with a thud. His gaze bore into Steve as he stalked toward him.

“IF YOU THINK, FOR ONE GODDAMNED SECOND, THAT YOU CAN FUCK MY GIRL AND GET AWAY WITH IT–”

He paused when his gaze took in you and Sam. “Oh… I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t realize–”

“He thinks we had sex, Steve,” you said, crossing your arms, “and for some reason he feels he has the right to be upset about it.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Can’t seem to get it through his thick skull that I’m no longer ‘his girl.’”

Bucky did a double take. “Pocket?!” he stuttered, flabbergasted at the sight of you. “What– what the fuck did you do to your hair?” You rolled your eyes and turned away.

“Bucky,” Steve took a step toward his friend. “We’re in the middle of a pre-mission briefing. What the hell’s gotten into you?” he asked.

 Bucky looked from you to Steve, and back again. “I want to hear you admit it, you fucking punk,” he said, pushing Steve with both hands in the chest. Steve stumbled backward.

“Yo, man,” Sam said, standing up, “what the actual fuck?”

“He slept with Pocket,” Bucky said, his voice beginning to rise. “He slept with my girl and I want to hear him fucking admit it to my face.”

Now it was Sam’s turn to look between you and Steve. “Whoa, Baby Girl. That true?”

You sighed. “No, Samuel. It’s not true.” You cast an angry glance at Bucky. “First, I’m not Bucky’s anything. He made damned sure of that all on his own.” At Sam’s confused expression, you added “Just ask him about what he and Carthage got up to in Russia together.” Sam’s eyes widened and he gave Bucky a disapproving look. “Second, I got high last night, danced with Steve, we went back to my room, we talked, and we fell asleep.”

“You gonna stand there and lie to my fucking face, Pocket?” Bucky yelled. “You answered the door in nothing but his fucking shirt!”

“Okay, first of all, I’m not sure what part of ‘you have no right to be angry about it even if I did’ you don’t understand, and second, I was still wearing a skirt under that shirt, asshole, so, technically, fully dressed. Steve slept in his undershirt, and I just threw the button-up on because my shirt got all tangled up in the night. Nothing happened.”

“Well,” Steve interjected, “I wouldn’t say nothing ha–”

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” you uttered, just as Bucky threw himself at his friend with an angry roar. Sam jumped in to break the two men up, but he was no match for two super soldiers. The two men tousled on the ground, and you could just make out a portion of the insults and accusations they were throwing at one another. 

“If you laid one finger on her–”

“--can’t believe you cheated–”

Having had quite enough of their testosterone display, you grabbed the pitcher of ice water that was sitting on the conference table and, walking over to where Steve currently had Bucky pinned to the floor, dumped its entire contents over both their heads.

“Are you both quite finished?” you asked, annoyed as fuck as the two men spluttered and worked to extricate themselves from one another. “You’re acting pathetic, and Sam and I have places to be.”

Steve reached a hand down to help Bucky get up. “We didn’t sleep together, Buck,” Steve said. “We just… made out a little.”

Bucky looked like he was about to launch himself at Steve again before Steve added “But we knew it was wrong and a mistake and we stopped almost immediately. That’s it, I swear. I would never do that to you, man. You gotta know that. You’re my best friend. To the end of the line, remember?”

Bucky pushed his wet hair back, away from his face. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, punk.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You rolled your eyes. Reaching across the conference table, you grabbed the files that held the paperwork for you and Sam and handed them to him. “And with that touching display of toxic masculinity,” you said, furious that the two men had been fighting over who got to have access to your body like you were some sort of toy, “Sam and I have a mission to get to.” Slinging your duffle bag over your shoulder, you motioned for Sam to follow you back out the conference room doors.

Just as you reached them, you turned back around. “Oh, and Steve?” you added, knowing you were about to throw a match onto a recently diffused powder keg, but not caring the least little bit about the oncoming explosion. Both Bucky and Steve turned to look at you. “Don’t forget to tell Barnes about having your hand on my cunt.” With that, you walked out, Sam cackling behind you and the sounds of Bucky screaming at Steve echoing in your wake.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[iftheresaproblem-whatever]

STAR WARS DOESN’T LIKE LGBTQ+ MEN?

(A SHORT FAN ESSAY)

First and foremost. I’m REALLY enjoying the ‘Ahsoka’ series and I can’t wait to see how episode 8 plays out.

I’ve really enjoyed seeing some of my favourite characters, old and new, translated so beautifully to live action.

Almost…all of them.

As of today, there is 1 episode left. 1 episode left of ‘Ahsoka’. Otherwise known as the “sequel” to the Animated series ‘Star Wars Rebels’.

Yet, 2 crucial characters from the aforementioned series, are nowhere to be seen in this series.

We have been very fortunate to see the Ghost Crew, consisting of Hera Syndulla, her son Jacen, Chopper, Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger make appearances in the series.

We were doubly fortunate to see Anakin Skywalker again in his true form, appearing in a greater capacity than I could have predicted, which was amazing.

Grand Admiral Thrawn has also returned in glorious fashion, portrayed by the very actor who provided the voice for him in ‘Rebels.’

We’ve seen countless appearances from characters from Loth cats to C3PO in our most recent viewing excursion.

However, the only characters missing from the series are Captian Garazeb ‘Zeb’ Orrelios, and (Agent) Alexsandr Kallus.

For those who might not know, Zeb is the ‘muscle’ of the Ghost Crew, who sadly had his planet and people destroyed by the Galactic Emprie. He believed to be the last of his species, until he discovered the secret home world of Lira San, where an entire planet of his kind live and thrive.

Agent (Alexsandr) Kallus is an ISB agent who aided the Empire in the destruction of Zeb’s home world and people. Not only that, it is revealed that he has trauma and survivors guilt because of a rouge Lasat mercenary that worked for Saw Garrera, resulting in the death of his friends on his first unit and the hardening of his heart.

During the series, the two share an episode where they crash land on the ice moon of Bahryn, where they work together to survive and learn a bit more about each other. In the fandom, the entire experience, atmosphere, the relationship between the two men and the episode, as a whole, is regarded as very homo erotic.

As the series progressed, because of his experience with Zeb, Kallus quietly changes his heart and allegiance to the Rebels and acts as a double agent under the code name ‘Fulcrum’. Eventually, escaping the Empire, he joins the Rebellion and fights alongside the ghost crew to liberate Lothal.

During the epilogue of the series, it is revealed, that after the war, Zeb had brought Kallus to live with him and his people on the hidden Lasat home world of Lira San. Zeb reveals that Kallus hadn’t destroyed his people. His people even accept Kallus as one of their own kind, in an astonishing act of forgiveness, despite his transgressions against their species.

In doing so, Zeb gives his mind, soul and heart peace.

Despite how very homo erotic the overall storyline seems, it ultimately started off unintentionally.

Fans expectations of wanting to see the two get together grew more and more in popularity during the course of the shows run. At fan conventions, voice actor Steve Blum, who provided the voice for Zeb, was also very much inclined to agree with the fans that the relationship between the two characters was indeed romantic in nature. He often advocates, to this day, for the two to get together openly, much to the delight of the fans.

Despite the accidental roots of what the fandom refers to as “Kalluzeb”, The shows creator, Dave Filoni, has stated that he is okay with fans shipping the two characters and revealed that the ending for Zeb and Kallus (which was partly the result of Steve Blum’s wishful thinking at ‘Star Wars Celebration 2017’), was left open ended for viewers to decide wether or not the two were a romantic couple or not.

For the next 5 years, that would be enough.

That is until, the announcement of the ‘Ahsoka’ series, and fans were excited to see their favourite rebels on screen once again.

Before the series started, however, Zeb Orrelios made a surprise, 30 second, live action cameo in the 3rd season of “The Mandalorian”. Zeb was seemingly working as a pilot for the Rebellion, donning a blue pilot suit. This lead to fans excitedly speculate that they would see him again in the “Ahsoka” series. This also had them asking the question: Why wasn’t he with Kallus on Lira San?

Over the course of the next few months, trailers would be released for the ‘Ahsoka’ series as well as character announcements at “Star Wars Celebration” in London. In all of these trailers, the only ‘Rebels’ characters missing were Zeb (and Kallus by extension.)

Upon the release of ‘Ahsoka’, as weeks and episodes have gone by, Zeb and Kallus still have not appeared in the series, nor were they even mentioned (until Zeb was mentioned by name in Episode 7). All the while, various characters from ‘Rebels’, ‘Clone Wars’, and even the film series made cameos and took supporting roles in the story, all the while, leaving Zeb and Kallus unaccounted for. Which is unusual, considering that Zeb and Kallus’ story was one of the most crucial plot points in the ‘Rebels’ story, and yet, here they were being left out of the “Rebels sequel”.

At the same time, it’s typical of Star Wars to do exactly this.

In the original run of ‘Rebels’, Zeb, as a character, was often overlooked and underdeveloped in terms of plot and character development. Originally intended as the comedic relief, it’s safe to say, in Season 1, not much was planned for the character. Season 2 however, is where Zeb truly has his chance to shine. From Saving Ezra and Sabine from Inquisitiors, to finding his secret home planet of Lira San, discovering he’s part of a prophecy and surviving and understanding his worst enemy turned ally, Kallus. It truly is his best season in the shows run.

In seasons 3 and 4, Zeb’s storyline was left pretty much underdeveloped and overshadowed by other plots such as the Jedi storylines, the Maul arc, Hera’s ascension through the ranks of the Rebellion, Sabine’s family conflict on Mandalore and the Liberation of Ezra’s home planet of Lothal. Zeb’s only notable story after season 2, was in the episode “WarHead” in which he was left alone to guard the base with Chopper and AP5, while the others leave to do exercises with recruits in space, almost demonstrating my point exaclty; Zeb gets left behind a lot. The episode made little to no impact on the overall narrative of the story. The only significance being that Thrawn gains a slightly better knowledge of where the Rebel base might be.

If anything, Agent Kallus’ storyline acts as a Zeb storyline extension as it was his kindness that inclines Kallus to change allegiances throughout the course of season 3.

Due to a shorter episode count in season 4, little time was spent on either Zeb or Kallus as the story had to reach its conclusion in a short matter of time. The one saving grace, is that both Zeb and Kallus had several great moments in the finale episode, resulting in their “open to interpretation”LGBTQ ending.

With the previous points in question, it has lead me to believe, that Star Wars might be trying to retcon their “maybe they are, many they’re not”LGBTQ ending and eradicate the possibility of Zeb and Kallus being in a same sex relationship in favour of “straight washing” them.

It wouldn’t be the first time it has happened.

Previously, the characters Poe Dameron and Finn from the Star Wars Sequel Series were supposed to be in a romantic relationship, but Disney never went ahead with it due to fear of loss of box office financial success from less open minded countries. (Which personally, I think is a stupid ass reason, but I digress.) In the past, any LGBTQ characters in Star Wars were often background extras that were on screen for 3 seconds or goofy comedic side characters. Only recently did the franchise include a lesbian couple in the series “Andor”, but all the same, we have yet to see two men in a same sex relationship that are leading characters and not being played for laughs. Lesser minded “fans” also often try discourage any LGBTQ content of any kind in Star Wars and will argue that Zeb and Kallus are just “best buddies”. (Because it’s totally straight to bring your “best buddy” to live with you on your highly secret home planet where your species accepts a human as one of their own kind…Yeah. TOTALLY straight.) To which I say, we’ve seen PLENTY of male friendships in Star Wars and LGBTQ people are not going anywhere, so I strongly suggest those “fans” and their fragile insecurities cop on and cop on FAST.

Only time will tell what happens to Zeb and Kallus as we head in to the final episode of ‘Ahsoka’, but my gut instincts say that we might be seeing history repeat itself. However, with the time passed since 2018, the change in LGBTQ visibility in media over the last half a decade, and the fact that ‘Ashoka’ is not constrained to the barrier of “children’s cartoon” as ‘Rebels’ was, I also chose to remain somewhat optimistic that the canonisation of my favourite Star Wars couple comes to be.

AUTHORS NOTE:

In a surprising twist, whilst writing this essay, the official Star Wars account mentioned the term “Kalluzeb” by name in a promotional video, seemingly giving validation to the canonisation of Zeb and Kallus as a romantic couple. Whilst this is very exciting for the fandom, we must also be sure to hold Star Wars to the mark that they deliver on this name drop.

Putting it simply; No take backs.

FanEdit95.

[waywardxrhea]

Part Six - Trying to Catch my Breath

[slow burn romance between you, a SHIELD investigative journalist, and Steve Rogers]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, smut later on.

installment list

Word count: 3k

This one’s just sad, honestly.

One chilly evening a couple of months into the task force assignment after a long mission, Steve and you headed back to your place to watch movies. Before you could choose a movie out of your collection though, you noticed that The Wizard of Oz was playing on the movie channel so you decides to leave it. "I didn't know the TV played movies this old, I watched this when it first came out," Steve commented as he sat on the couch.

"Oh, are you calling yourself old now?" you teased.

"Touche," he replied with a smile breaking out onto his face.

Your phone let out a noise signaling a new text so you checked your phone and saw a text from Maria. After reading it, you said aloud, "Maria is gonna swing by somewhere and get pizza for all of us, what kind do you want?"

"Cheese is good," Steve replied absentmindedly while staring at the screen.

"Whenever we end up back in New York, remind me to take you to my favorite hole-in-the-wall pizza place. Their food is phenomenal!" you told him while texting Maria back.

When you didn't get a response, you looked up to see him watching the movie with a far away and almost sad look on his face. Sensing the sudden change in demeanor, you asked softly, "Hey, is everything okay?" as you made your way over to sit beside him on the couch.

When the cushion beside him dipped was when he finally knocked out of his daze and replied, "Yeah, yeah. Just...missing the past a bit is all." He paused and sighed, adding, "When I was flying that plane down into the Arctic, I thought it would be the end, but I still made plans with Peg. For those few seconds, I thought everything would end up okay."

You felt your heart sink but elected to ignore the feeling in your chest and told him, "I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm glad you did try and feel less scared in those moments though. Optimism pushes people through a lot of tough situations." You paused for a beat before adding, "You know, you haven't told me much about this Peggy girl. She seems to have a big place in your heart, but you never talk in detail about her. Just some stories from the dance halls. What was she like?"

At the mention of Peggy, Steve's smile lit up the room as he told you, "Oh she was one of the bravest women I knew back then. Tough as nails. Gutsy too." He paused and laughed, adding, "When I got my shield, she shot straight at it before any other testing was done. If that thing didn't hold up, I'm not sure I'd be here right now."

"She sounds like a firecracker. What was her rank?"

Steve thought for a second before replying honestly, "All I ever really heard anyone call her was Agent Carter."

You nearly choked on the sip of water you had in your mouth when you heard the name. You regains your composure before asking, "Did you say, Agent Carter? As in Agent Peggy Carter? Founder of SHIELD?"

"Wait Peg founded SHIELD?"

"Yes, she founded SHIELD!" you exclaimed. "Have you never paid attention to the pictures on the walls at HQ?"

"I guess not?" Steve asked with a chuckle. A small smile snuck onto his lips and he said quietly, "Wow, she went on to do such great things after everything went down."

"That she did."

Steve thought for a second and then asked, "Well, how did you not know it was her I talked about all this time?"

"There's only so much you can read in a museum, Steven," you told him with a quiet laugh. You thought for a moment before informing him, "I'm pretty sure she's still around and it sounds like you could use some closure with her. I couldn't give you many details but I'm sure Maria could."

"Maria could do what?" came Maria's voice as she entered the apartment carrying pizza and a case of drinks for the three of you.

You clutched your chest at the sudden appearance of your friend and chastised, "Maria, I know I always give you a spare key to my place, but at least knock next time!"

"Fine, fine, but really, what can I do to help whoever?"

"Well, Steve needs some closure on his past with Peggy Carter, I'm assuming you'd know something about her whereabouts."

"Off the top of my head I don't, but I can do some digging," she said as she sat the pizza on the coffee table.

"Thank you," Steve told both of you as you all relaxed into your seats to watch the rest of the movie.

One morning on your day off, you called up Grammie to check on her. When the line picked up, you smiled and started off quickly, "Hey Grammie! Were you ready to finally tell me that story about Captain Rogers? It's been so busy I kept forgetting to ask you about it!"

A voice came from the other end of the line as they said you name quietly. It wasn't Grammie. "Emiliano?" you asked. "Is Grammie busy? I can call back another time."

"No, no," the nurse said. He paused and asked, "Would you mind sitting down?"

Panic instantly flooded your body but you tried to remain optimistic about what he was asking you to do because that's what Grammie would do. So you sat down on the couch and said, "I'm sitting. Is Grammie okay?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Emiliano sighed again and said quietly, "She just passed away."

"Oh my god," you breathed, tears instantly flowing from your eyes. You felt your body go numb and the air leave your lungs completely as you tried to figure out your next words as your world began crashing down around you.

Emiliano spoke first, saying, "I know you're in DC right now, so if you want the home to make funeral arrangements so you don't have to worry about it, just say the word."

You took a deep breath and managed to force out the words, "No, I'll do it. She...she always had a specific vision for her funeral and I want to grant her that wish."

"As you wish," he told you. "I'm really sorry about this Miss."

"Thank you," you replied before hanging up the phone.

Once you ended the call, you sits there, staring at the phone not knowing what to do. Your body felt like lead as you tried to stand up to get your laptop to look up numbers for arrangements back where Grammie was living. Time got away from you as you began the first of many calls back to New York.

Meanwhile, across town, Steve sat on a bench outside the Smithsonian with his sunglasses on and a ball cap pulled down over his eyes. He checked his watch and thought to himself, It isn't like her to be late... Steve dug his phone out from the pocket of his leather jacket and dialed your number only to be sent straight to voicemail.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what was going on. It wasn't like you to miss a call from him. After calling your other number and not getting a response out of that one either, he got off the bench and made his way back to his motorcycle to head over to your place to check on you.

Back in your apartment, you were on the phone with the funeral directors trying to get them to understand exactly what Grammie wanted for her funeral. You looked at the notebook with scrawled-out notes on it trying exasperatedly to explain what she wanted through your jumbled thoughts. As the person put you on hold, you sighed and muttered to yourself, "This is useless trying to make arrangements from a different state..."

There was suddenly a knock at the door which startles you out of your brain fog. You quickly jumped out of your seat and walked to the door with the phone still on your ear in case the director took you off of hold. As you approached the door, you could hear Steve's voice calling your name and asking, "Are you okay?"

"Shit," you cursed, remembering you two had plans that day. You caught a glance of yourself in a mirror you had hanging in the living room and realized that you looked exactly how you felt: awful.

Steve knocked again and asked a bit louder, "Is everything okay?"

You quickly threw your messy hair up as best you could and opened the door for Steve. You couldn't even fake a smile and lie that everything was fine, so you replied quietly, "No."

You shrank back into the apartment and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to provide some comfort while Steve stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind him, asking, "What happened?"

"Grammie passed away..." you whispers, your voice breaking as reality sets in once again that she was really gone. You broke down in tears once more, but tried to stop them, saying, "I'm so sorry Steve, you probably don't want to deal with all of my emotions right now. I'm being such an inconvenience, I'm sorry, I-"

Steve, not knowing what to say, simply wrapped his arms around you, cutting off your sentence before you could fumble through more of an unnecessary apology. Your phone fell to the ground but you disregarded it as you accepted the embrace. Your body shook slightly as you cried in Steve's arms as he attempted to calm you down by gently running his hand up and down your back, whispering, "It'll be okay. It's gonna hurt for a while, but pain can't last forever."

You nodded at the words, trying to get the tears to stop flowing with deep breaths. When you finally managed to stop, Steve let go of you and squeezed your shoulder gently. From the floor, a voice, barely audible, called out your name.

This brought you back to reality and you quickly grabbed the phone off the floor and cleared your throat. "Hi, yes, I'm still here. We were talking about flower arrangements and a location?"

As you talked on the phone quietly, Steve went to the stove to grab the tea kettle to make the two of you some tea. You always made him tea when he wasn't having the best day, so he thought he would repay the favor. When the tea was done, Steve sweetened it and sat a cup down in front of you. He then sat across the table while you wrapped up the call.

When you put the phone down, you said to Steve, "Thank you," as you wrapped your hands around the warm mug.

"It's what you would have done for me," he replied with a soft smile. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"Actually yeah, if it wouldn't be any trouble," you replied with a sigh. "I know you have some old jazz records and I was wondering if I could borrow them? Grammie had a lot at some point but I don't have the time to go find them before...before the funeral."

"Of course, whatever you need," he said. "We can swing by my place and see what I have. May I ask why out of curiosity?"

"Well," you replied, finally cracking the smallest of smiles, "Grammie always said she didn't want a depressing and boring funeral like Gramps had. She wanted music and bright colors and smiles on people's faces. She wanted everyone to celebrate the life she lived, not for them to be sad because she's gone." Your voice broke at the last part. Trying not to break down again, you cleared your throat of the emotions building in it once more and stared up at the ceiling, counting down from 100 as you did.

"I think that's a good, optimistic attitude to have," Steve told you, "and even better that you're working to make sure it happens for her."

"I just hope she would be happy with what I'm doing for it," you replied once you finally felt like you could speak without breaking down again, taking a sip of the tea afterward. The sweetness of honey burst on your tongue and you sighed contentedly as the warm drink attempted to warm you from the outside in.

"I'm sure she would," he told you, happy with himself for being able to at least make your tea correctly. You both sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Steve finished his tea and asked, "How about we go to the National Mall? Just walk around and get some fresh air? It'll be good for you to get out. We could even stop to get some food at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant you'll no doubt find and put it in your blog."

You formed your lips into a semblance of a smile and nodded. "Outdoors, hipster restaurants? You're really speaking my language here, Steve."

"That's what friends are for aren't they?"

"Right..." you said, trailing off slightly. Friends. That was what you were. Friends, fellow agents, but nothing more. And that word at that moment wounded you because something inside you had shifted when Steve wrapped his arms around you a few minutes before. You didn't realize how much you had fallen for Steve over the past few months until he just called the two of you friends. You shook the thought out of your mind and tried to ignore the new ache in your heart as you said, "Just let me make myself more presentable, and then we can head out."

"I'll meet you on my motorcycle. The freedom of the road always makes me feel better, maybe it will with you too."

You nodded before you disappeared into your room to get ready, trying not to think because of the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. Grammie, Steve, funeral arrangements, making time between missions to go to New York. Everything was overwhelming and you just wished you could be in Steve's embrace again because when you were, even for a moment, everything felt like it would be okay.

After a whirlwind few days of planning between meetings and missions, Maria and you made your way up to New York to attend Grammie's funeral. The ceremony was held in her hometown in upstate New York at the local park. The gathering attracted the whole town because Grammie had been such a notable figure there up until she had to move into a home closer to the city.

You dressed in a yellow swing dress for your celebration of life speech and somehow managed not to fall apart while speaking. After the funeral, many of the guests gathered at the family's lodge to have a potluck dinner and reminisce over Grammie and how she helped them out at some point or another in their lives.

At one point during the celebration, you wandered up to the guests who were currently renting the property and said, "Thank you so much for letting us use the space for this. It means a lot to everyone."

"It's no problem," the sweet southern woman told you. "My family has rented out this property enough over the last decade that we know how much your grandparents meant to this town."

"Thank you, I'll make today's stay free because of your generosity," you told her. You laughed a little and finished with, "Man, I'm sure Gramps is rolling in his grave at the word free to a renter."

"How about next year we stay an extra day to make up for it?"

"Sounds great."

That was hours ago. Now, you and Maria were driving back to the airport so you could get back to DC for a mission early the next morning. You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window as Maria drove, lost in the brain fog that came customary after a funeral of a loving parental figure.

Maria has put on 90's and early 2000's pop music as you went to try and make the mood a bit peppier. Not that it was working. At one point, you turned down the radio and Maria scolded teasingly, "Hey I was listening to that!"

"Well I have a question about work," you told her quietly.

"I thought we established no work talk until we're back in DC."

"I thought we established no work talk in front of people until we get back to DC," you retorted. "Besides, it isn't about a mission or anything. It's about...I guess rules of conduct for agents."

"What did you do? You know there's only so much I can do to get you out of things. What Fury and I did when you first started, that was a one and done thing that we can't do ag-"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," you interrupted her. "I didn't do anything."

"Then what is it?"

"It's about one of my other writers, Sandra. I've been getting closer with her and we went out for drinks once or twice when you were too busy to hang out," you rambled trying to figure out how to slyly ask your question. "Anyways, she was telling me that she had feelings for an agent she works closely with and reports on. So she was wondering if I'd ask you what the protocol is if something like that happens. Agency protocol, not like...what she should do about... said feelings."

Maria glanced at you out of the corner of her eye and noticed your body language as well as how you were just rambling on. She ignored the hunch developing in her brain and told you, "Agency protocol would be to separate the two agents from working closely together. When it comes to things like that biases get involved, especially if one of the parties is a reporter. There's also the factor of if whoever the agent was going after gets wind of said romance, someone could get captured and compromised. All around, we just find it easier to keep romances out of agent partnerships for everyone's benefit."

You took in the words and felt your heart shatter, but still nodded nonchalantly, saying, "Thanks, I'll tell her." You paused for a moment before adding, "And if she wanted to act on these feelings, would she just have to report to her higher up or what happens then?"

"She would have to report to a superior agent, yes, then one or the other would get reassigned to a different unit."

"Good to know," you replied with another nod before you turned the music back up and tried to decide whether or not it would be worthwhile to confess your feelings to Steve. You hadn't felt this exact kind of attraction to anyone before though and didn't know how to navigate it. No one had ever cared about you like Steve does and you just couldn't escape the feelings that seemed to grow stronger every day.

You also couldn't escape feeling almost guilty for having feelings for him because after all, he was still in love with Peggy. Ever since you and Maria helped the two of them get back into contact, Steve always seemed to be with her when he wasn't on a mission. The guilt came in when you got jealous over these meetings because you knew that she was all Steve has left of the past. Of course, he wants to hang on to that! But you always had the thought of oh how I wish that was me when he talked so lovingly about her.

Trying to shake these thoughts away, you turns sang along with Maria to escape your crumbling reality at least for a little while.

[berenwrites]

Whole New Us Ch7 - Stranger Things - Steddie

Whole New Us: Trauma Bonded and Beyond

Also on AO3 | Or here CH1 | CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 | CH7 | CH8 | CH9 | CH10 | CH11 | CH12 | CH13 | CH14 | CH15 | CH16 | CH17 | CH18 | CH19 | CH20 | CH21 | CH22 | CH23 | CH24 | CH25 (Mature) | CH25 (Fade to black) COMPLETE

Summary: Steve has been ignoring his own problems, he’s been busy. They’ve all been busy, preoccupied with fixing everything that was broken. Vecna has been defeated, but the Upside Down is still there, and the gates are not completely closed even though Hawkins has almost returned to normal. It’s been a couple of months and the aftereffects of Steve’s encounter with the demobats is about to come back to bite him. However, it also brings some unexpected hope.

Pairing: steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Rating: Teen (with mature content in later chapters)

Chapter 7.    Together We Stand or Sit or Lie or Whatever!

When it finally started to get dark, Hopper made noises about heading home with El. He offered to stay, but Steve could see El was tired and he knew she slept better when she was home. However, before the pair left, Steve did catch El to talk to her about Eddie.

“Do you need to, y’know, do your thing with Eddie like you did with me?” he asked quietly.

To his surprised El smiled and shook her head.

“Only you looked really unsure earlier,” he pointed out.

“But then I saw how you were with Eddie,” she said winding her arms around him for a surprise hug. “You would know,” she whispered in his ear.

And with that she was off to Hopper’s side, and they were leaving. Steve closed the door after them and did his best to believe what El had told him. He wasn’t used to being the one with any of the superpowers.

“So, bed?” he asked, walking back to where Eddie seemed partially awake on the couch and Robin was pushing around a couple of stray M&Ms on the coffee table.

“I get the wall,” Robin said, standing up. “I am not falling out in the middle of the night.”

“Then Eddie can have the middle and I’ll take the oh so dangerous outside,” Steve agreed and offered his hand to Eddie.

“So, we’re like..?” Eddie kind of asked.

“All sharing Steve’s bed,” Robin said with her usual complete lack of tact. “Sleeping alone sucks after trauma, and today had trauma with a capital T. Well unless you really hate the idea,” she added as she thought about it.

Eddie shook his head.

“No,” he said looking between them both, “I don’t hate it.”

“Great,” Steve said, giving Eddie a smile and pulling him upright as his offered hand was accepted. “Now how are you feeling about the stairs?”

“I can manage oh gallant knight,” Eddie replied, “but thanks.”

“I’ll take that piggyback ride then,” Robin decided and launched herself at Steve without any other warning.

“You’re lucky I have the reflexes of a cat,” he said, laughing as he caught her under the legs before she could slip right off again.

“Shouldn’t that be bat?” she asked, clinging on around his neck.

“I will drop you,” he warned.

“Yeah, Buckley,” Eddie joined in, “we don’t mention bats in this house, well unless they have nails in them.”

It amazed Steve any of them could joke about it, but especially Eddie, who had literally only been out of the Upside Down for half a day. He followed Eddie up the stairs with Robin’s chin digging into his shoulder and couldn’t help wondering what was going through Eddie’s head. What could it be like to know you were missing months of time, but still feel the terror of it anyway. And he knew there was terror, he’d felt it when dreaming of Eddie too many times.

He made a decision then. Eddie was never going to have to deal with anything like that again, not on his watch. Eddie was his to protect now, like Robin, like the kids, like Nancy. They might not have known each other well yet, but they had been into battle together. Steve would learn about his new friend as he had done with everyone else and there was nothing Eddie was going to be able to do about it. And if he was quickly developing a special place in his heart for Eddie, right next to Robin and Dustin, no one had to know but him.

“I know that look,” Robin said after she’d used the bathroom and let Eddie go in next. “You’ve adopted another one, haven’t you. No getting away now.”

“Don’t worry, Robs,” he said, giving her a nudge with his arm, “no one’s gonna replace you.”

“I know,” she replied with a grin, “that would be impossible.”

Steve laughed and felt a little more of the tension of the day fall away. Nothing had quite gone how he expected, but in some ways it was better.

After he’d cleaned his teeth and used the bathroom it was time to settle down to get some sleep. Robin was scooched up against the wall, looking perfectly comfortable, and Eddie’s eyelids were already drooping again, but the tension in his shoulders telegraphed quite how out of place he was feeling. It couldn’t have been too bad, because Steve wasn’t picking up anything before climbing in, but he could still tell.

“Just think of it as a sleepover,” Robin said, thumping the pillow to get it just the way she wanted it.

“I’ve never been to a sleepover,” Eddie protested. “And since when did you ever have a sleepover with two guys who could eat you without a second thought.”

“I’m sure you’re a gentleman,” Robin replied, apparently completely unbothered. “And if you get peckish, just nibble on Steve, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Thanks, Robs,” Steve said, making himself comfortable in the space left, “always knew I could count on you. Just so you know, Eddie, if Robin has a bad dream she flails, so beware of the elbows.”

“Deadly weapons,” Robin admitted, even as she turned over and snuggled down. “And Steve snores,” she added for good measure.

“Shut up, Buckley,” was Steve’s response to that.

“You two are weird,” Eddie said in a vaguely exasperated tone.

“We know,” they replied as one, before both giggling like they were six.

It had been a very long mentally and physically exhausting day, but Steve refused to dwell on it. He needed to look after Eddie, so he locked all that shit away in another part of his brain, focusing on the good instead. Shifting slightly, he nudged his lower leg against Eddie’s and let the other’s presence settle in the back of his mind like he hoped his was doing for Eddie.

“That’s cheating, Harrington,” Eddie said, voice going heavy with sleep straight away.

“Sue me,” was all he replied.

~*~

All those in the know had been told of Eddie’s survival via Murray who had means of communication the government did not know about and could not monitor. Which neatly left out the suits for now. Even Hopper had agreed that they could wait. However, that left one very important person in Eddie’s life who was still out of the loop. The government had set Wayne up in a small apartment, since the trailer park was half destroyed, and he’d been fobbed off with the same story as the rest of the town.

Hopper had taken it upon himself to make friends with Eddie’s uncle, and Steve had tried a couple of times, but he’d been politely rejected. Wayne had let them help him move, including all of Eddie’s stuff that had survived, but that was it.

Hence Steve was watching Eddie pace up and down his living room as they waited for Hopper to collect Wayne and bring him over. It had been anything but a settled night, although they had all managed some sleep at least. It had been unanimously decided that Wayne needed to know the truth, all of it. With everything that had happened, there was no way Eddie could maintain a close relationship with his uncle and Wayne not know what had been going on. Nancy was sitting on one of the couches with notes, since everyone also agreed that she was the most likely to tell it in a manner Wayne would understand.

Summer break was just around the corner, but it wasn’t quite with them yet, so the kids and Robin were all at school, what with it being a Monday. The only reason Nancy wasn’t was because she had insisted and it wasn’t like her grades would suffer for missing one day.

When the sound of a car coming up the drive made it into the house, Eddie kind of froze. What Steve really wanted to do was hug his friend, but he was well aware that probably wouldn’t help at this moment in time. They were standing just round the corner, so when Hopper opened the door that Steve had left on the latch, they were still hidden.

“What’s this all about, Jim?” Wayne asked as he and Hopper walked in. “Why you brought me to the Harrington house?”

Eddie looked like he might bolt at any second, so Steve stepped around the corner.

“Hi, Mr Munson,” he said, “please come in.”

“It’s like I said, Wayne,” Hopper added, “there are some things you need to know.”

Wayne stepped forward into the living room. He noticed Nancy first, but Steve saw him scan the room, before his eyes alighted on Eddie.

“Oh my lord,” Wayne said. “Eddie? Oh … Eddie.”

There was no gap between Wayne’s recognition and his reaction as he walked straight up to his nephew and dragged him into a rib creaking hug.

“My boy, my boy’s alive,” Wayne said, tears in his voice.

Tears prickled the back of Steve’s eyes as he watched Eddie melt into the embrace. None of the rest of them moved, letting the two have their moment.

“Uncle Wayne,” Eddie said, crying into Wayne’s shoulder.

When Wayne finally pulled back, he took Eddie’s face in his hands and Steve could only guess at the look that passed between the two.

“What happened, Kid?” Wayne asked, gently touching the scar on Eddie’s cheek.

“That’s what we’re here to explain, Mr Munson,” Nancy said. “It might take a while and involves a place called the Upside Down.”

Wayne ended up on the couch next to Nancy, with Eddie beside him, while Steve and Hopper hovered close, backing up everything that Nancy was saying.

“So, these bat things, they attacked Eddie, and you just left him there?” Wayne said, glaring at Steve when they reached that part of the explanation.

“They thought I was dead, Wayne,” Eddie tried to placate him.

“But you weren’t, Kid, and they abandoned you,” Wayne countered.

“I kind of was for a while,” Eddie said in little more than a whisper.

Wayne turned to his nephew and Steve could see how frightened Eddie was, he could feel it.

“Mr Munson,” he said, drawing Wayne’s attention away from Eddie, “there was something different about the demobats, something none of us knew, that we’d never seen before. Their blood isn’t like the other creatures we’ve encountered. When it gets into someone’s system either through wounds or another way, it changes them.”

When Wayne turned angry eyes on him, Steve let the otherness out.

“By all that is holy,” Wayne said, shying away as his eyes went big and round.

Hopper walked over and placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“When Steve changed, he came to me,” Hopper said. “That was two days ago. It was because of Steve we realised Eddie was still alive.”

Wayne turned back to Eddie.

“I’m like Steve,” Eddie said in barely a whisper, letting his eyes change colour, even though everything else remained human. “I died, but we think I was already changing so I came back. They came to get me, Uncle Wayne, even though the Upside Down is still crazy dangerous. Steve carried me home.”

Steve let Wayne look for a while longer as the man stared at him, before allowing the differences to fade.

“You carried my boy out of that hell hole?” Wayne asked, looking him in the eye.

“Yes, Sir,” Steve replied, “like I couldn’t before. I’m so sorry it…”

Wayne held up his hand, so Steve shut his mouth. For what seemed like forever in the silence, Wayne sat there, hand finding Eddie’s but not looking at Steve or his nephew.

“What I’m hearing,” Wayne said eventually, looking back at Steve, “is you did what you could as soon as you knew. Can’t ask for more than that.”

That said, Wayne turned back to Eddie and dragged him into another hug.

“You’ll always be my boy,” Wayne said, which made Eddie cry all over again.

“So, about this Vecna character?” Wayne eventually asked, so Nancy continued the explanation to bring Wayne up to date on how dead Vecna was and how that had come about.

While they were discussing the final battle, Steve slipped into the kitchen, grabbed five beers that he wasn’t supposed to have, and came back. Hopper didn’t even bat an eye as Steve handed them round.

End of Chapter 7

Chapter 8

[stranger-rants]

For the harringrove asks! I'd love to know the answers to 3, 8, and 13. 💙

I answered 8 & 13, so I will answer 3! What does being in the Harringrove fandom specifically mean to you?

The Harringrove fandom is perhaps one of the main reasons why I love Billy so much.

I didn’t like Billy when he was first introduced in 2017, and I explain in my pinned post why I had a hard time accepting him. I didn’t understand why people liked him or Harringrove for that matter. I was really into the first season, but I ended up being more of a fandom lurker until 2019. I kept my dislike to myself for the most part, but I would periodically run into Harringrove content. I read some fanworks out of curiosity, and what I found was that fans were giving Billy a chance to heal and grow in a way that was impossible to resent.

I still mainly lurked, but 2019 radically changed me as I saw fans of the show shift from fair criticism and dislike of Billy to hatred for a teenager who was being horribly brutalized while his trauma was put on full display. I saw people cheer on his abusers and that cut me deep as a person who went through similar traumas. I told myself I couldn’t let this go on without any push back. So, I got more vocal about Billy’s right to heal and grow and you know who always supported me in that? The Harringrove fandom.

Not only that, but I have seen the Harringrove fandom for years support and give to charities. Everyone here doesn’t just say the right words. People practice what they preach. The love they have for an abuse survivor despite his faults is inspiring to me not only in the way that it makes me want to treat all survivors better but treat myself better. Sure every fandom has drama, but there’s so many good people here who just want to see people like Billy overcome and thrive.

It’s not fair to treat them like garbage for that. How could people vehemently hate fans for wanting better for Billy or even for Steve? After all, Steve was “semi-reformed” too, so this idea that he was too good for Billy felt hypocritical. I “officially” joined in almost a year ago to boost everything I liked about it. I view the Harringrove fandom as a whole as a safe space to explore how we can deal with trauma even when society decides they don’t want to deal with us. Billy and Steve making out is just a bonus.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

I Just Want You

Words: 1253

Warnings: a little angst, underage drinking (kind of), some small talk about trauma/shitty parents, talk about how being gay is TECHNICALLY illegal cause it's the fucking 80s, probably poor writing but whatever

STRANGER THINGS Masterlist Main Masterlist

Longer title of this was "I Don't Care If We Can Never Be Seen Together, I Just Want You" but I decided to shorten it to just "I Just Want You"

This was also gonna be totally different, but then it became this (and I LOVE this so)

And this can take place literally any time after Season 3 (only bc Robin is apart of the group) but Nancy and Jonathan didn't get together in this timeline...but that's really the only fully 'non canon' thing about this fic

And the fact that people forget that it was technically illegal to be gay in the 80s. Like people would literally be arrested just because of that, ESPECIALLY IN SOMEWHERE LIKE INDIANA. Like, if you had AIDS, it was automatically assumed you were gay and people would hate you for it. So I kinda mentioned that here because I just love ✨historical accuracy✨

Anywho, enjoy

Y/N stood in the corner, trying not to be noticed by anyone. She just wished the floor would cave in and swallow her whole. God, she felt so stupid. Why didn't she see it? See Nancy's blatant feelings for Jonathan? How could she have been so gullible to think that her and Nancy would be anything more than friends. It's the fucking 80s. No one would even be able to know about them. So she didn't know why she had lead herself to believe that Nancy felt the same.

She held the red solo cup in her right hand as she gripped her bicep with her left hand. She was constantly blinking away the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She watched her friends have fun from afar. And they deserved it. They deserved to have fun. And she had been having fun with them, until the feelings came in. Until she saw Nance and Jonathan. Until she remembered that she always came second to him. When she finally realized why.

She sat the cup on the stand next to her and made her way to the back door. She didn't even understand why she was really even here anymore. She only came because Nancy had practically begged her to do so. She was just planning on staying home to study. She knew that she should have just done that. Told her friend to have fun at the party herself. But Nancy had flashed Y/N her puppy dogs eyes that always caused Y/N to melt.

When she made it, she sighed as she felt the cool fall air around her. She walked and sat onto the pools diving board. She had been so into her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed the concerned look Nancy had given as she saw her friend walking outside. Nor did she hear her give Jonathan some excuse and headed outside to check on her friend. Nor did she realized that Nancy was calling out her name. It wasn't until the girl reached her hand into the water and splashed it up onto her friend that Y/N noticed she was there.

While she was ready to cuss someone out for getting her wet without any warning, the words died in her throat when she saw it was Nancy. All that she did was look back down and stare at her reflection in the water.

But now that she was aware of her friends presence, she heard everything she was doing now. Starting with the sigh she gave before she spoke, "What's going on with you? You usually love parties."

Y/N just shrugged, "Guess I'm just not that into it tonight. But you can go back in, Nance. No reason to be concerned for me."

Nancy gave her a concerned smile, "But I can tell that something's bothering you. So," She climbed onto the diving board and sat on the left side of the board. She placed her arm around her friends shoulder, "Tell me what it is. Do I have to get Steve to beat anyone up? Or need me to run them over?"

Y/N let out a meek little laugh. "You don't have to do anything to anyone. It's really nothing. Just getting my head again."

"Did your parents say something again?"

She silently shook her head, "Not this week."

Nancy softly nodded, "Then what is it? It's clearly bugging you."

Y/N sighed, "Have you ever liked someone you can't have?"

"What do you mean?"

She turned on the board to where she was fully sitting next to Nancy and turned to look at her. "I mean, have you ever wanted a relationship with a person that you can't have? Because they're either in a relationship. Or like someone else. Or they would never like you because of who you are? And you're scared that if they found out the truth they would hate you forever? But you keep telling yourself that little things they do proves that they feel the same but then you see them with someone else and you remember that you'll always be second best to them? All because you're...different."

"I-yeah. Yeah I do."

She gave Nancy a surprised look, "Really?"

Nancy nodded. "There's this person that I've liked for years. But I know if I do anything, we could never be seen as more than friends. And it hurts me. Especially because I know of their feelings for me." She laughed softly, "They're literal shit at hiding their feelings. Plus, one time they were so drunk and out of it, that they confessed it." She sighed and looked out to the forest behind Steve's home. "That was when I realized the feelings actually. That I realized everything that I thought had been friendly was more. That I wanted them more than just a friend. But I know that we could never be more than that. No matter how much I want it."

"Nance I-"

Nancy ignored Y/N and continued, "Sometimes when we're talking, I want nothing more than to just lean in and kiss her." Y/N felt her air cut off. Her? Nancy liked a girl? But...but who? She heard Nancy laugh, "God, sometimes I forget how similar you and Robin are."

Oh.

"You like Robin?"

Nancy's eyes widened and she shook her head feverently, "No! God no. She's just a friend. I just said that because she was so oblivious to the fact that Vickie likes her back."

"Then who is it that you like, Nance? Cause it sure seems as if you like Jonathan."

Nancy sighed and muttered, "I guess now is as good of a time as ever." Just as she leaned into Y/N and kissed her. It took Y/N by such surprise that she hadn't realized it happened until Nancy pulled away. "You. You're the person I like."

But instead of saying anything back. Y/N just gathered any and all fucking courage she had in her body and grabbed Nancy's face to kiss her again. Nancy deepened the kiss by placing her hand on the back of Y/N's neck. Y/N moved one of her hands onto the board and the other on Nancy's arm. Moving them both to where she was on top of Nancy as she laid on the length of the board. Nancy's legs were dangling off the edge of the board as Y/N's legs were slotted on either side of Nancy's. At some point, Nancy had snuck her hand underneath Y/N's shirt and was groping her boobs.

The two finally pulled away from each other, or rather jumped from each other, as Steve yelled at them. "If you guys are gonna sleep with each other, at least do it in a goddamn room. Not on my fucking diving board."

The looked to him surprised before he just rolled his eyes at them and walked back in. Y/N sat back on her knees and Nancy moved and copied her.

"I hate that we could never be seen together. Like, actually together. As more than just friends or 'roommates.' Y'know? I wish we could just be us."

Nancy gave Y/N a soft smile, "I don't care if we can never be seen together. I just want you. In any way I can have you. Even if it means living our life in secret."

"Really?"

Nancy nodded and kissed Y/N softly on the nose, "Really."

[fckwritersblock]

More Than Therapy

Bucky x black!reader

Warning: sooooo there is smut ahead. Okay like, not complete filth but it’s there! Who even knows what this is, but enjoy it!

Pic below from post by @afriendlyblackhottie

(Unedited.)

“Look, I’m not saying that she’s not a great therapist, I’m just think that she’s not your style.”

Bucky didn’t hide his eye roll.

For the past 2 weeks, Sam had been trying to convince him he needed a second option. Ever since he had his own encounter with Bucky’s therapist, which consisted of being forcefully included in one of their sessions, he could see it wasn’t really helping Bucky at all. Not that Sam was an expert or anything, he just knew his.....friend.

“Alright Sam, fine.” Bucky sighed tossing the wrench to the side. “So what. I kick my therapist to curb, then what? You got some kind of recommendation or something?”

Sam just smirked before turning and making his way off the boat.

“Actually I do.”

Now here Bucky was, waiting on another person to come and try to break down all his walls and get in his head and help him with through his ‘issues’.

“Waste of time.” He mumbled to his self.

However, when she walked in the door, that thought quickly left.

“I’m Y/n.”

“James”

“It’s nice to meet you James.”

For the first time in a very long time Bucky felt comfortable almost immediately. The conversation didn’t feel forced, he didn’t feel pressured, it was just easy. Y/n didn’t push and pry. She simply let him answer the way he want and what he wanted. She let him sort of control the conversation. It was refreshing.

From then on, he saw her twice a week. Their first two weeks together was just them getting to know one another. Establishing trust on Buckys end. He appreciated that for once the woman so much pressure for him to be OK so soon. Finally, after about a month or so, they were doing a little exercises here and there to work through his trauma. The first assignment, it was actually pretty similar to the last psychiatrist he had seen. To get out and make at least one friend. Find an activity or something that he enjoys.

“So have you been getting out like we discussed?”

“Yeah I’ve gone out.” He nodded carelessly with a grin as he sat across the table from her.

Y/n raised an eyebrow. “To places besides the bar.”

“Yes.”

“Liar.” She said and it was her turn to grin as she held her hand out.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, handing over his phone. Bucky watched her click a few buttons knowing she was checking his contacts. This was like Deja vu.

“You have the same amount of numbers in your phone as last week Barnes.”

“Not true Doc, I have you.” He smiled sheepishly.

“I hardly count Barnes.” A small smile graced her face nonetheless.

She was quiet for a moment and he took that opportunity to study her. In deep thought. Y/n had a tell. She’d bite the corner of her bottom lip on the right side every time she was trying to figure something out. Usually before she came up with his homework before the next session.

“I have a thought but you’re not gonna like it.” She began after while.

“Lay it on Doc.”

“I don’t feel like you are actively trying to be a part of society. What you’ve been doing, trying to right your wrongs of the other guy...” she drifted for a moment. “It’s futile. You don’t need to do that. That-“

Y/n paused taking a deep breath.

“That’s not you.” She spoke softly.

“But that is me! I am winter soldier!” He yelled on his feet quickly.

Anger. He was familiar with the feeling. Angry was something he just couldn’t seem to stop feeling. Even if he didn’t show it, it was like he was angry all the time. However feeling it with her was unfamiliar. And he could feel the inner turmoil of him taking his frustrations out on her as he tried to push that anger back down.

“Were.” Y/n stated with finality, voice strong. “You were the winter Solider. And that wasn’t you. That’s just a couple of dark chapters in the book of your life. That’s it.

“You don’t know m-“

“But that is not you.” She repeated a little louder commanding forcing him to look her dead in the eyes. “That’s not who you are, James. And while I may not have known you pre-hydra, or during, but I’m knowing you now. And that’s just not you.”

Y/n leaned back in her chair.

“I know that here, Bucky.” She grinned a little placing her hand over her heart and tapped twice. “And deep down, so do you.”

“. You, James Buchanan Barnes, you are not the bad guy.

The anger he had been feeling had subsided and I was replaced with something that was completely unfamiliar to him. Something he longed for couldn’t quite the grass. Something that he didn’t even realize was in within his reach until noon.. The feeling, regardless of how unfamiliar it was with something Bucky didn’t think he wanted to go away.

The silence between them was comfortable. Y/n could tell that he was processing her words. It was a good thing, she could because he was no longer good tense and his stance was relaxed instead of defensive.

“You know what? We’re finished for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She declared.

“What?” Bucky snapped out of his tranced and frowned. “Doc, come on. I shouldn’t be seeing you til Thursday.”

“Yeah tomorrow,” she nodded with a smile. “I want to try something different.”

The next day but he showed up at their usual time, 11 AM. When he stopped at a reception to ask for Dr. Y/n they informed him she was out for the day. He frowned and turned to leave only to find her approaching him from the elevator.

“Hey! You ready to go?” Y/n offered a gentle smile.

“I thought we were-“ he asked went fo point back toward her office but she stopped him.

“We are. We’re just doing things differently today.” She informed him, before nodding her head toward the elevator. “Let’s go.”

Their day together was eventful to say the least. Their first stop was her favorite coffee spot. It was actually a little hole in the wall called Hippies Brew in the downtown area. A cool modern place full of friendly and eccentric individuals. It was comfortable. Homey. It wasnt one she’d typically recommend clients, but she would recommend it to friends. After that they were too the aquarium followed by the park where they sat on a park bench for lunch. Lunch being tacos from the El Gordo’s taco truck parked near by. Well a lot of the time at the park or spit in silence, it was still comfortable as a people watched together. While Bucky hated to admit it, this is the first time he really just felt at peace. There was no one looking over him with some unrealistic expectation of him to be Steve, and become so hero he wasn’t. There was no pressure to get his shit together right then and there. He was just simply allowed to be Bucky. Unapologetically.

“Walk with me?” He asked.

Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised he initiated doing something together, but agreed with a smile.

Soon enough they easily fell into conversation of as they began to walk the lake.

Before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set. Their time together lasted longer than Y/n planned but either was it was nice. She enjoyed today, as did he. Bucky’s offered to walk her back to her car, savoring their last few moments together.

“Are you sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Y/n asked as they got closer to her car in the now empty lot.

“Yeah, Doc, lm sure.” He smiled back at her, her smile and laugh being infectious. “I like walking. It gives me time to think. it’s peaceful. Kind of like today.”

Y/n’s smile widened at his confession. So her idea did work. He was making progress.

“ That’s what you deserve James peace. I can’t promise every day is gonna be like this.” She turned away approaching the driver side door. “I mean, it is life there are going to be some bad days. But you do deserve some peace. Some happiness.

She turned to see that he was a lot closer than she thought saying that he was preparing to open the door for her. She swallowed, suddenly feel in the air around them shift. As she ran her tongue over her lips, Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the action.

“You just have to let yourself have it.” She said softly.

It was in that exact moment where James decided he was going to do just that; let himself have happiness. And without thinking, he leaned forward and connected his lips with her.

He pulled away almost as soon as it happened eyes wide.

“James…” y/n finger tips traced her lips as she stared at him.

“I am, i, I don’t know-“ Bucky stuttered.

He went to take a step back but was stopped. This time it was her who initiated the kiss.

What started off as gentle, turned into her fisting a handful of his shirt put him closer with his hands wrapped around her waist. The heat that washed over them both, was like a moth to a flame. The passion poured into the kiss from both ends quickly consuming them both. The two fighting for a dominance, it wasn’t until they both harshly pushed against her car setting the alarm off that they snapped out of it.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry wh-“ Y/n’s eyes were wide as she looked around anxiously.

Bucky could sense her panicking.

“y/n-“

“ I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate of me-“

“Breathe for me doll-“ he reached for her but she pulled her hand away shaking her head vigorously.

“I can’t, we can’t, I have never.” She took a deep breath, her next words still coming out shaky. “I’m so sorry. To take a vantage of you like that-“

“I was the one who-“ he attempted once more to no avail.

“I have to go. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She rushed out, flinging her door open and getting in the car.

All Bucky could do was watch as she wasted no time peeling out of the parking lot.

That was the last he had seen or heard of her. It had been almost two weeks and she had canceled both his weekly sessions and hadn’t answered any of his calls or returned any of the messages he left both at the office and on her cell phone.

And boy, was he stressed about it.

He had never felt that kind of passion before. To be honest it was something he didn’t think he was capable of feeling. He had been consumed by anger for so long, he wanted to cling onto whatever else, anything else. Bucky would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the chemistry between them. He came to the conclusion he’d been falling for her for a while, and was clearly in denial until that day they spent the day together. It’s not like he was trying to fall for his therapist. But now that he had...Ge had to at least try. Make sure what he was feeling wasn’t one sided.That spark. It was a feeling, a high he had never felt. One he knew he’d forever be chasing and he wanted it again and again and again. So when the third week approached he decided to take matters into his own hands.

A knock her door tore her away from Grey’s Anatomy.

“Coming!”

Pulling her dress down, she went and answered the door.

“Bucky.” She said his name breathlessly.

“Y/n.” He breathed out, happy to be in her presence even though it hurt slightly to hear her suddenly calling him Bucky.

He quite liked when she called him James. He liked the way she said his name.

“What are you-, how.” She tried to control her breathing. “You can’t be here.”

“I need you,” he signed. “To hear me out.”

“Bucky-“

“James.” He corrected her. “Look, I know this totally inappropriate but I-“

James paused taking in her appearance, noticing the purple bruising around her lower right eye above her cheekbone.

“Who?” He questioned through gritted teeth.

“Huh?”

He huffed pushing past her and moving in and around the apartment as if someone would come out and confess. He turned toward her a wild look in his eye.

“Give me. A name, Y/n.”

“James....” she signed.

While he knew she was talking seeing as her lips were moving, It was like he could hear her but he wasn’t hearing her. Bucky couldn’t focus on anything other than a bruise on the side of Y/n’s beautiful face. It had been along time since Bucky had thought of actually hurting somebody, save for John Walker last week which was another story entirely, whoever did this to her face though, he wanted to hurt them bad and he was going to enjoy it. His eyes traveled down toward her lips and he still couldn’t hear her. All he could hear was his fist repeated smashing into said individuals face. Over, and over, over-

“James!”

The sound of her voice finally resonated and he finally focused on her words.

“Come back to me James.” Her voice was gently. Inviting.

Everything he noticed both her hands on the side of his face, her thumb rubbing soothingly.

“It’s fine.” She said slowly removing her hands away as she explained. “There’s no need to hunt anyone down. Just a regular 50150 patient and things got out of hand. It happens.”

“No one should touch you.” He stated with seriousness.

Y/n stared at him for a moment, the right side of her lip pulled between her teeth, eyes pooling with something he hadn’t seen in her before. She shrugged nonchalantly.

“I kind of like it when you touch me.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her loud and clear.

Just like before, it started off with light kisses, which soon turned into a bit of teasing, a little lip nipping, before things got extremely heated. Both his shirt had been discarded while the straps of her dress were pulled down revealing her black Savage Fenty bra. They had somehow moved from the living room to the kitchen island. Bucky stood between her legs one hand tangled in her braids while her hands held the sides of her face, gently caressing the stubble. Her legs were wrapped around his middles as she began grinding her hips into him. He pulled her closer, the both of them on a high from the friction. Bucky’s metal hand traveled up her bare back giving her goosebumps. They broke apart for air and as soon as Y/n had enough oxygen in her lungs, she went back to licking, kissing and sucking on his neck.

"Shit, Y/n.” Bucky unconsciously tilted his head back giving her better access, his hands palming her ass as his hips bucked into her.

"James." Y/n pulled back panting, lips swollen. " I want you. Now."

Bucky made quick work of removing her panties that coated in her juices , and in return y/n quickly unbuckled his pants using her feet to aid her in pushing them down.

“Shit.” He groaned immediately as she whimpered slightly at the feel of him sliding into her.

Her arms were wound around his neck while his hand gripped the top of her ass to keep her in place as he begin to slowly thrust in and out of her.

Bucky was on a high. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this level of intimacy. Euphoria. He was sure this feeling should be illegal.

The way she were wrapped around him, he knew if he didn’t take it semi slow he wasn’t going to last.

“James,” she moaned, clawing at his back, walls clenching.

He wasn’t sure what sounded sweeter; her moaning or his name leaving her lips.

“Doll?” He responded, kissing the at the base of her neck.

I’m clos-“ Y/n sucked in a breath of air. “Right there.”

“There?” He asked spreading her ass cheeks apart so he could go deeper.

“Yes! Right there!”

It was a bit sloppy from there as Bucky shifted for a better angle. Her ass halfway off the table as he picked up the pace bit her her closer to the edge. He was bouncing her up and down on his shaft effortlessly. Her arms wrapped right around his neck, kiss sloppy as she bit her lip to keep her moans at bay.

“No,” he breathed out, reaching up with one hand forcing her to kissing him, her moans filling his mouth instead. “I want to hear you.”

“James, I’m-“

“I know.”

The sight of Y/n coming undone before him was a glorious one . He couldn’t wait to make her cum again.

Once she came down from her orgasm, she placed her lips back on his, tightening her legs around him once more. He shifted their position a bit and begin again when suddenly the front door opened and in walked Sam.

“Oh shit!” Bucky pulled out of her and struggled to pull up his pants and turned to shield her half naked frame.

“Sam!” Y/n squealed pulling her dress up to her chest as best she could.

“What in the entire fuck!” Sam screamed while covering his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Y/n yelled.

“You told me toy were off!”

“I’m am off!”

“Well I thought I’d bring you dinner! I didn’t know id find this!” Sam said exasperatedly.

Y/n and Bucky were decent informing Sam he no longer had to cover his eyes. Immediately he pointed an accusatory finger at Bucky.

“You! What the fuck did I tell you about my sister?”

Bucky stared at him confused.

“You said not to flirt with your sister.” He repeated Sam’s words. “Sarah’s not..”

He then turned toward Y/n, things finally clicking.

“You’re Sam’s sister.” Bucky concluded.

“Baby sister.” Sam. added.

“I’m grown as hell Samuel!” Y/n fussed.

“Really bruh, my baby sister?!”

“Well how i suppose to know you only refer to her as baby!”

“Once again! I’m grown as fuck-“ she stopped hearing the front door creek open again.

“Who’s that?!” The woman’s eyes were wide with horror as she whispered.

“The boys!” Sam exclaimed in a whisper.

“Why didn’t you say they were here-“ she began frantically washing her hands.

“I’m sorry I was a little fuckin preoccupied with the fact my sister is fucking an assassin-

“Former assassin!” Bucky corrected.

“Hey TT!” Sarah’s boys greeted simultaneously with smiles as they bent the corner.

“Hey my babies!” Y/n instantly put a smile on her face pulling them each into her arms.

“Hey Bucky!” Cass waved

“Hey Bucky!” AJ addressed the solider as well before turning back toward his brother, “Cass , come on.”

“Wait let me put the pizza on the counter-“

“No!” The three adults exclaimed together.

“No boo, I’ll take it.” Y/n smiled again at her nephew taking the pizza.

“why don’t yall go in the living room and get the game set up?” Sam suggested.

“Yes! Let’s take the pizza in there while they bleach the kitchen?” Y/n hinted at the men while telling the kids to follow her.

“Oh yeah! TT, Uncle Sam got us two new video games!”,AJ informed her. “He also said we can watch a scary movie tonight since moms not here.

“Yeah! Andddd, he said we can door dash ice cream!” Cass added as the two kids followed their aunt into the living room.

Though he was silent, throughout the entire interaction but he couldn’t help but want you living room interact with the two kids. Back in the day, if you would’ve asked him if he believed in love at first site he would’ve said no. But he was pretty sure he was in love with Y/n already.

Once out of sight, Bucky took that opportunity to speak after a beat.

“Have I ever told you I’m glad you treat your nephew’s so well, Sam?” He asked after clearing his throat.

Sam sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Bucky turned to him with a huge grin on his face.

“Cuz I’m gonna give you another one.”

Slowly Sam began to laugh, albeit one full of sarcasm, Bucky joined in sincerely. They laughed together for a moment before Sam ceased, his face expressionless.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah Sam?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

[rwrights]

WE'LL BE OKAY - NAT.

summary : nat and you never got along. reasons still unknown, but it was affecting the whole team. steve assigns you both to a mission, with natasha acting harshly. she said something to you before heading off. she got in your head and the aftermath wasn't so pretty.

contents : angst (??) / fluff

warnings : mentions of blood, guns, bullying, cursing and just occasional marvel fight scenes.

NOT PROOFREAD. a/n : my first fic aaaahhh !! i was inspired by a lot of similar fics like this, but mostly by this WANDA FIC WRITTEN BY @/maximons - i suggest you give it a read BCS ITS SO GOOD ARRGH <3

you don’t know how the feud started between you and natasha. you couldn’t tell if it was because of your age or because you were new.

you had quite an age gap with the former assassin, being a striking 24 years old, but according to the russian - you might as well have been 12 years of age.

unlike most of the avengers, you had a decent childhood. it wasn’t filled with trauma, and death, and basically what some of them unfortunately went through. you grew up in the suburbs with your mum and two older siblings. you got all the toys you wanted and everyone loved you! because of that, you were always polite and cheery - it’s what made people like you. you were funny and usually managed to put a smile on people faces ; usually.

natasha found your positivity irking and unnatural. how could someone be so, happy? she felt as if you were shitting rainbows down her throat, and god, did she hate it. how could someone like you even have the guts to be an avenger?

she enjoyed picking fights with you out of nowhere, and as fun as it was at first - the hostility only progressed and became a disruption to the whole team, including you. you tried your best to really become friends with natasha - or at least be civil with her. but the more effort you made, the worse she treated you. all you wanted to do was make it a little easier for the team, you all have enough crap to put up with and the quarreling between the both of you was definitely not needed.

─── donk.

“nat! y/n! conference room one, now!” steve’s loud voice called out through the speakers placed throughout the compound.

you set your book aside before running down to the conference room as you were told. you walked passed natasha, already giving you a sharp glare from afar. she adjusted her speed and basically ran to where away from you. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her as you trailed behind.

you entered the room, greeting everyone politely before sitting down next to wanda, who saved a space for you.

“alright, now that we’re all here..” cap began, walking around the table where you were all sat. “we’ve got a mission for two of you,”

“did you call us here to compete for it? because i am so getting this mission.” natasha stated, pointing at everyone as if she was threatening them. “uh, no.. not exactly. we’ve already assigned the mission to two of you..”

“who?” she asked, wanting to leave the compound immediately and get some action (not the peepee way).

“you and y/n,”

hearing your name, you just froze. you couldn’t help but stare at steve as if he was out of his mind.

“what?!” natasha squeaked. “i’m sorry, but there is no way i’m going with her. it’s probably best if i go on my own!”

“that’s just mean..” you replied quietly, in your seat. you weren’t in the mood to argue, so you tried to contribute as little as possible into this conversation. “cap, if natasha doesn’t want to do the mission with me, i’m totally fine with sitting this one out.”

“oh, don’t suck up and use your y/n reverse psychology on this. it’s not gonna work,” she spat, obviously mad about the whole situation. “nat, i’m being serious. i know how much you’ve been dying to go out, so please. just take it.”

“no, y/n, you’re going with nat. we’ve decided this already.” steve stepped in, trying his best to set his foot down. “steve, i think you know this isn’t going to happen.” natasha glared.

“you either go together or y/n takes someone else.”

“steve! i swear i’m fine!” you argued, seeing how natasha’s ears were practically steaming from anger. “i-”

“no, you know what? fine. enjoy your mission, y/l/n.” she growled as she stormed out of the room. you couldn’t do anything but watch as she slammed the door shut. as much as you wanted to chase after her, you and everyone else in the room knew you’d probably make the situation a thousand times worse for natasha. you sighed and slammed your head on the table in exhaustion.

“we’re sorry, y/n. we thought her need for a mission would make her say yes even with the partnership.” bucky said from the other side of the room. your head shot up almost as quickly as you blinked. “what do you mean?”

“we thought sending you two on a mission together could… make the arguing stop - even by a little.” steve explained, sighing. you laughed at them, did they really think that would work? did they know the obstacles you went through to try to get on her good side? your first few weeks were HELL because of it.

“it’s alright.. clint? what do ya say?”

“always up for a mission, y/l/n.” he smiled, giving you a fistbump.

─── donk.

clint knocked on natasha’s door after the meeting. “nat? it’s me,” he called, nat opening the door a few seconds after.

“can you believe them? they know how much i dislike her and they’d send me on a mission with her? Bozhe mo! (oh my god!)”

“nat, y/n is awesome. it’s been months, it’s getting tiring.”

“oh, please. it took forever to get any of you guys to trust me. doesn’t mean it has to be the same with her.”

“nat, she’s a kid!”

“ugh, don’t say it like that. it makes my thoughts uneasy..” nat replied, mock-gagging. clint glared at her as he playfully shoved her. “you’re so stupid.”

“and oh, i’m going on the mission with her.”

“wait what?! but you’re my best friend, why would you take it!” she exclaimed. “i never say no to a mission, nat. you and i both know that. i thought you did, too.”

“i would’ve taken it, but.. no! i’m not losing this fight.” she huffed as she fell on the bed. “turn the tv on, i need to distract myself.”

he did as he was told and decided to stay and watch with her until dinner.

─── donk.

it was the day of your mission and you were making your way to the hangar. to your surprise, you saw natasha waiting there. you smiled at her only to receive another sharp glare. yeah, what a surprise. you looked away and decided to wait for clint.

not long after he arrived and said his goodbyes to natasha, just as you were going to aboard the ship, she grabbed your wrist and whispered in your ear.

“you’re gonna trip and get yourself shot, y/l/n.”

“what the hell? i’ve barely left and you’re already telling me i’m gonna fuck up?” you retorted, angrily. you weren’t in the right state to panic or stress. especially not before you were leaving. “have fun, y/n.” she smiled, dripping in faux kindness.

you followed clint onto the ship and couldn���t help but shake in fear. great, now you were worried. you didn’t want to fuck up. you weren’t planning to.

“you’ll be okay, y/l/n. i’ve got your back.” clint reassured, seeing the panic clouding on your face.

“thank you..” you mumbled, but natasha’s words never left your head.

─── donk.

“something seems off, clint.” you whispered, looking around and keeping your guard up. “i agree, y/l/n. it’s too quiet.. too easy.” he replied.

just as you were going to reply, someone charged at you from behind, getting a hold of your throat. by instinct, you kicked his shin and flipped him around. “clint!” you called out as you knocked your attacker out.

suddenly, groups of people were coming towards you - fully armed. “clint!” you screamed, pulling your gun out and shooting as many of them as you could. “shit!”

“y/n, it’s a trap!” clint finally replied, making you roll your eyes as you threw your fist at a guy’s temple. “yes, clint, i’m aware!”

“keep your guard up, y/l/n. you can do this!”

“there’s-” kick. “too many-” elbow. “of them!” shoot.

“try to hold out for as long as possible! i’m on my way,”

you looked up to see more men charging at you. “ah fuck,”

you grabbed one of the guns from the guys you managed to knock out and aimed. “clint, i can shoot right?” you asked for permission, not knowing if you were supposed to kill them or just simply knock them out.

“yes, y/n. you can shoot.”

“thank you!”

you silently thanked god for the gun you chose and started shooting at the guards. you quickly threw it away as they ran out of bullets and grabbed two pistols and continued to run and shoot away.

as you focused on getting a certain guard, one of them slid under you, quite literally slipping you off your feet - probably making you twist your ankle, giving one of them an opportunity to get a clean shot of your thigh.

the bullet went through your thigh, making you scream in pain. “fuck!” you shot back at him immediately and slid up onto the wall.

well great, another thing natasha was right about.

“y/n?!” clint called, hearing you scream. the worry in his voice was evident, it managed to make you smile for a second until you dodged another bullet.

“i’m okay!”

no, you weren’t. you could barely stand with your fucked up ankle and the hole in your thigh, but you continued to shoot and fight.

“just.. hurry up, please!”

you used your bad leg to kick a guy down and use him as a ledge. you cursed as you ran out of bullets. there were guns scattered across the floor, thanks to you. you just grabbed the nearest ones and looked back up.

as quickly as you did, a shot went through your shoulder and your abdomen. “gah fuck!” you collapsed on the floor as you tried to control the bleeding. you got up for a second to shoot back at the closest people and went back down. “clint, hurry up!” the pain was too much, the bleeding wouldn’t stop and your ankle looked like a fucking bean. you started to get nauseous, but tried your best to stay up.

“i’m here!” he yelled as he aimed at a few people in front of him. he ran towards you, finally seeing your state. “oh my god!” he kneeled down, putting pressure on your wounds to help with the bleeding, but the blood just kept seeping through “you just said you were okay, idiot!”

“i know, i didn’t want to worry you..” you mumbled. “no, no! y/n, you have to stay awake. come on!” he picked you up and started running away to go back to the ship. “you’re okay, y/n. tell me you’re okay right now.”

“i’m okay.. i’m okay, clint.”

“yeah, yeah, you are.”

you tried making it to the ship, but you were already so tired. “i’m gonna nap, clint..” you said before passing out.

─── donk.

clint alerted steve about you right when you passed out. they were rushing you out to the med bay to perform surgery on your injuries.

“she told me she was okay, steve. i thought she was okay!” clint screamed, he blamed himself for what happened to you. only if he arrived a few seconds before. you wouldn’t have been in the situation you’re in now.

“no, no. this isn’t your fault. neither is it hers, it happens, okay? we put ourselves at risk every time we step out of here. y/n was brave, alright?

wanda rushed down to the medbay, reaching for the door before pulling her back. “wanda, we have to let dr cho do her job right now. she’ll be okay.. y/n will be okay.”

she cried into steve’s shoulder - her best friend was being operated on. you were being operated on! the thought of you getting hurt never crossed her mind because she knew you were strong.

the team soon heard about the incident and let their worries out, obviously caring about you. natasha was confused about the whole hassle.

“vision!” she called out. he turned around and walked towards natasha. “how may i help you?”

“what’s the hassle about? everyone keeps whispering,”

“mr barton and ms y/l/n have returned from their mission, but ms y/l/n has suffered some major injuries and has been in surgery for about an hour now-”

hearing that, she sped to the medbay, thanking vision quickly. she saw wanda, steve and clint waiting around. “no, no, where is she?!” she yelled, making the three of them look at her in shock. “she’s still in-”

she tried running into the room like wanda did, getting pulled back by steve. “natasha, we have to let dr. cho do her job.”

“i need to see her!” she exclaimed, not being able to breathe. “what happened to her? what major injuries?!” she demanded.

“broken ankle, shot through her thigh, shoulder and abdomen..” clint recited, looking down at his feet. “where were you!? how could you let this happen?!” she roared, genuinely shocking them.

why did she suddenly care about you? well, yes, you suffered major injuries, but why was she getting mad?

“natasha! enough!” steve scolded. “this isn’t clint’s fault, and you know it.” he said, sternly. she didn’t reply as she panted. wanda held her hand as support, needing it for herself as well.

─── donk.

an hour later, dr. cho finally walked out of the room. everyone stood up in eagerness.

“is she okay?” steve asked, immediately.

“y/n suffered major blood loss, but we are lucky none of the three bullets hit any major arteries. she has also quite definitely broken her ankle, so i’m putting her on bedrest for at least 6 weeks until you get her up and going again.”

“main point, yes. y/n is okay.”

a smile broke out in all of their faces. “thank you, doc!”

“you may see her now, but she hasn’t woken up yet. don’t be too loud.”

they all walked into your room and stood beside your bed. “she looks so peaceful,”

“she definitely looks better right now than earlier,” clint joked, earning a soft laugh from the three of them. they stood by you for a while until natasha spoke up.

“um.. could- could i be the one who stays with her until she wakes up?”

they looked at the red head in surprise, “are you sure, nat?” steve asked.

“yeah.. i just want to be here.”

“alright,” they smiled softly at her before leaving.

she held your hand and stayed with you, waiting for you to wake up. it took for a while so she managed to fall asleep, holding your hand.

you slowly started coming back, groaning from the late pain you experienced. natasha jumped in shock and saw that you were awake.

“you’re awake!” she whispered, making you turn to her. “natasha? what’s happening?”

“you passed out during your mission. i know i told you you’d slip and get shot.. but i didn’t actually mean slip and get shot, idiot!” she scolded, flicking your forehead. “gah! it was an accident, i was doing fine,”

“no, you have three holes in your body. and not the good ones,”

“nat??” you replied, shocked. “did you just joke around with me?”

“no..”

“you’re holding my hand.. what did they bribe you with?” you asked, quickly getting suspicious. you tried pulling your hand away, but she only held onto you tighter. “nothing! i.. i volunteered. ask steve and wanda! and clint!” she replied, defending herself quickly.

“well, if you volunteered.. what do you want from me? i’m not gonna be leaving the compound for at least 2 months, so you can have all my missions-”

“no, y/n. truthfully, i just really want to apologize.”

“huh”

“i know i’ve made your first few weeks really hard and even after being here for months, i still managed to.. you know.. make it hard for you. in full honesty, i genuinely don’t know why i’ve been so horrible to you. i had a hard time opening up to people - and.. you were just so welcoming and i got scared. not an excuse for my actions, by the way! i was horrible and i’m so sorry.”

“thank you for your apology, i forgive you, nat.” you smiled, squeezing her hand. “i also.. have feelings for you.” natasha added, avoiding eye-contact with you. “you whAT?!”

“i-”

“i like you too! but are- are you serious?”

“yes, y/n… i like you. guess that’s why i was so defensive about.. literally everything.”

“nat.. thank you. for opening up to me. it genuinely means so much - especially after all this fucking time, you asshole.”

“are we okay now?” she asked, hopeful.

“yes, nat. we’re okay.”

[dreamifics]

Steve Harrington x Reader

Casuality

Just some fluff, angst and smut

Warning: mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activity, a little cursing

How did me and Y/N ended making out in my pool? Bad decisions and booze, that's the answer. I wanted it to stop, but it was good.. Too damn good. I can taste in her mouth the bitterness of the alcohol we drank a while ago. The mix of beer and vodka was still lingering in her mouth.

My hands run in her legs, as her hands tug my hair. There were fire igniting inside us, it was burning with lust and adrenaline. A low moan escapes her mouth, this added fuel to the fire inside us. We both knew that we'd regret this in the morning, but we didn't stop.

Y/N Henderson..

I'm close to her brother, but not to her. We fought monster beside each other, she was close to Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. But not to me, that's why I'm surprised when she arrived in my doorsteps, alcohol in her hands.

"Hey, Steviee!Wanna run around town and get smashed?"

She caught me off guard but I agreed, I was always intrigued by her. I never noticed her in high school but she seems to know everything about me.

"Oh, come on!Steve!I'm not stupid!I know you use that shitty shampoo and conditioner!"

"It's not shitty!It's the real deal!"

"Whatever, let's go back to your house and take a dip in your fancy pool!"

My mind snapped back as we moved to my bed, Y/N's heavy breaths and low moans was all I could hear from her. We drop in my bed, we knew were going to spend all night here. The sheets wrapped around our naked bodies, legs entangled with each others. Moans filling the room, sweats dripping from our hot naked body. We were drunk and stupid. Sobriety and rational thinking was out the window. This night was filled with bad decisions and bad decisions only.

Days have passed since that night, we decided to continue the relationship but we're keeping it casual. We're now sitting in my car, music blasting on the stereo on a low volume. She was looking blankly on the window as I drive her to campus.

"What are you thinking about?" I questioned, snapping her out of her trance. She smiled at me as she relaxed into the passenger seat.

"Whatever your thinking about.."

"Dustin moaning really weird last night?" I joked causing her to glare at me.

"No, but now that's what I'm thinking.." I chuckled at her response as I paid attention to the road.

"Hey, do you want to have a sleep over tonight?"

"Sleepover?What are you ten?Do you also want to braid each other's hair and have a pillow fight?" Her witty remarks always get me laughing, that's one thing I like about you Y/N..

"Come on, we're not gonna be sleeping anyway.." I pleaded.

"Ooh, Stevie gonnna give me the lovey dovey!" She said in a baby voice. Gotta admit, that was weird as hell.

"Oh dear god.." I mumbled under my breath.

"What's that Harrington?" Her glares could literally kill someone, I just gave her an innocent smile, she just rolled her eyes.

"Nothing.."

"I'll see you tonight, then.."

A comfortable silence filled the ambiance of the car, if I know Y/N and I think I do, she'll try to rummage her brain for something to talk to--.

"What was Dustin moaning about?" There it is..

"Oh dear god.." I just shake my head in amusement.

The first time I had ever seen you cry was the day we got home from campus, snots and tears were everywhere. I never saw you cry, even when we almost died twice while trying to save the world. Not a one single tear, but now your here infront of me. Tears in your eyes, as you sobbed into my chest. I don't know what to do, should I comfort you?

"What happend?" I finally asked the lingering thought in my head.

"I saw Dad with his brand new family.."

Y/N's father..

I never really met him but to what I gather from Y/N and Dustin is that he's a coward. He left his family to be with another woman.. Putting the three of you to emotional trauma and abuse.

"I'm sorry.." That's all I could say..

"After all what he did to Mom and Dustin, he have the audacity to be happy while Mom cover up the pain with cats.."

"I hate my dad, I swear if he ever comes back, I'll feed him to the demogorgons.. Why does this always happen to me? Can everything be just fine again?"

I hate seeing her like this.. What should I say? I can't really relate to her, my parents still stood by me.

"I'd do whatever I could do, if you want to get wasted, I'll do it with you, If you want to burn your dad's house, I'll be down with that. Just don't cry, I can't stand seeing you like this."

A small laugh erupted from her, moving beside me, she lay her head into my shoulders.

"Thanks for the reassurance Harrington.."

"That's what I'm here for.."

"Come on Steve, let's make out in your pool.." Y/N stands up, and gave me her hand, I gladly accepted it.

"Why do you have to ruin the mood?"

"How's that ruining the mood?If anything, I'm building the mood." She said in a sultry and teasing voice. I rolled my eyes, does she think I'll get turned on by that. She was crying just a moment ago, she was releasing snots.

"I think you have daddy issues, love.." It was her turn to roll her eyes.

"We all have daddy issues.." I grab her cheeks and peck her lips.

"We both have daddy issues, then." She just gave me the most precious smile that ever existed.. Oh, God. How I love you.

The first fight we had was also our last, it was your birthday. We were hanging out in your room, laying in her bed as the television played Star Wars. The pale moon was dancing all throughout the room, I knew there was something bothering me, we've been doing this for months, keeping everything casual. I'm growing tired of the constant thought that someone will take her away from me.. Don't get me wrong, I love Y/N, I'm not sure how she feel about me though. Y/N's like a close book, hard to read. So many things that I wish I knew, but there's so many walls that I can't break through. ( Where the swifties at? )

"Are you okay?" Y/N soft voice pulled me out of my head.

Am I really okay?No, why? I want us to be in a committed relationship, where someone can't take you away from me. That's how much I love you..

"Nothing, just thinking about us.." A small smile tugged in her lips as she scoot closer.

"What about us?" She asked, her brows wiggling.

"Being casual and all.." The smile she had falter, she moved away from me, running her hands through her hair.

"You know I'm not ready yet.."

"You always say that."

"Steve!I can't have this exact same conversation with you over and over again!" And here we are, fighting.. The anger inside me flicked open, I know it won't do good but I still went ahead and got mad.

"Why can't you say it once?!" Our shouts echoed through the whole house, her Mom is probably worried about her.

"What can't I say?!" She asked confused and angry at the samw time.

"That you love me!" The whole room suddenly got quiet, the look in Y/N's face was hard to read. Are you shocked? Scared? Angry? What? Do you love me like I love you? Please, say the words that I want--no, what I need to hear.

"Steve, we both know that we agreed to keep things casual.." She finally spoke, but not the words that came out was not what I needed.

"Casual?We've been together for almost a year now, how much more casual do you want it to get?"

"I--Steve, I can't do this now.." She backs away from me, opening her door wide open for me to leave.

"Why?" That's all that exited my mouth..

"Because I need space!" She snaps, a involuntary scoff left my lips.

"Space from what?!We barely have a relationship!"

"Just get away!I can't believe your pressuring me!" She shouts, but I stayed to say the words I'll regret..

"Let's just end whatever the fuck this is!"

"Fine!" She screamed as she walks up to me and pushed me out of her room.. Reaching the end of her door, she pushed me. I stumbled but managed to bounce back, before I can even say another word she slammed the door. And there's that..

"Steve?" Dustin came out of his room, a worried expression painted in his face.

"Are you and Y/N okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a--" I stopped at the middle of the sentence, my mouth refused to let the words escape.

"A what?" He questioned.

A break up..

"Nothing, it's nothing.." I lied..

I didn't know why I couldn't say the words. I clearly never wanted this to happen, I didn't know what happend. And I can't take it back, what's done is done..

Life with Y/N was hard, but life without her is much harder. Was I in the wrong? I shouldn't have pressure her, all I wanted is to go up at her house. But Dustin told me, she was really busy with a lot of schoolworks. Where did it get so complicated?

I was walking home when I saw Y/N, just standing in my porch front step. She seems fidgety and nervous, those sweet eyes seem to notice me. Y/N was wearing one of my Van Halen shirts, with a short and just some sneakers. You always looked beautiful in my shirts..

"Steve.." I love how she says my name, but I love it more if she screams my name. Flashes of her naked body grinding on me suddenly appeared on my head. This was not the time but I couldn't help it. I miss her..

"Hey.." I greet..

"I just wanted to--"

"I should be the one apologizing, I shouldn't pressure you like that.." I cut her off, I'm right. There's no need to apologize, I was in the wrong. I pressured her when I agreed to keep it casual.

"Still, I'm sorry too.." Y/N was always nice, never letting her pride get in the way of her life.. An eerie silence once filled our conversation, I never wanted this but maybe..

"Maybe it's best if I give you the space you nee--"

"I love you.." She cuts me off..

"Huh?" My mind went blank, my eyes blink rapidly as I try to sink in the three words you just dropped.

"I don't need space, I love you Steve Harrington.." She confessed cheekily, a small smile appeared on our face.

"I love you too.." She just smiles at me, but she was waiting for something. What is it? A ring, maybe? But this is not a proposal..

"What are you waiting for?Kiss me."

Ohh, right.. The way I moved was slow, I think she grew impatient because you pulled me and our lips collided into one. The way your lips was covered in the strawberry chapstick I gave you, this was my favorite thing in the world. I slid my tongue, it danced with yours. I pushed you in my door, opening it in the process.

When it burst open, we celebrated by going into my bed. Pushing Y/N into the bed was pretty arousing. We didn't need words or foreplay, we're pretty straightforward. Our lips once connected again, heavy breaths and low moans was all I could hear.

We slowly undressed each other, our lips was still intact, rushing into things was never really your motto. I felt your skin made contact with mine, I felt the heat from your body. My hands were making their way to her tender breasts, I slowly massaged it until the nipples turned like tiny stones. A loud moan came out from her mouth, I couldn't resist and licked them, biting them playfully. Another moan came out from her sweet lips, I stopped as I took out my hard and mounting manhood, I rest it unto her thighs. Y/N sits up, looking at me with questions in those eyes.

"What happend?You got tired?" Y/N whisper in her sultry voice.

"Taunting me?Really?"

Before she can even respond I got on top of bed and smirked, your naked body was softly laying in my bed. This made me harder, you're so perfect in every way. My hands are already in your legs, spreading it wide and open. I can see you closing your eyes at my touch, I drove my two fingers inside her. She moans with the contact it made, eyes rolled in the back of her head. I ravish her breast with my mouth as my fingers interact inside her.

"Fuck, Steve!"

I was hitting the right places, she was twisting left and right, her hands were gripping my sheets, I pulled my fingers out and replaced it with my organ. A loud piercing moan escapes her lips as I pump into her, every thrust was in sync with her breathing. I slowly grunt as I pump harder and deeper into her, I yank her legs back, as my other hand gripped her ass. I dug myself further into her, setting off another shattering moan.

"Steve, faster."

I increasing the speed, she wrapped her arms around my back, her nails digging into my skin. Pain and Pleasure was a great mixture for me. I hit every possible spot inside her, the nails dug deeper as I thrust harder and much more deeper. The speed increased once again, as I feel both of our climax building up inside, it can explode any second now. Every thrust I make, every moan she screams, and every sweat that drips was a cherry on top.

"Fuck, I'm coming!"

With that we both exploded into each other, I felt a warm liquid flows between her legs and mine. A small smile appeared on her lips as we were both out of breath, her hair was all disheveled.

"Well, that was fun.." She whisper, her voice hoarsed from all the moaning she did.

"I can see.." I joked causing her cheeks to blush..

"Shut up!"

I pulled out, she shivered at that action. I laid next to her, she looks at me with love and compassion. She pecked a kiss in my lips, cuddling besides me as the moon peaked through my windows. Y/N deserves every love and adoration in the world, I'm going to marry you someday..

This is my first smut ever, I hope it was..nice? If there's anything wrong I did in the smut, you can tell me, I'll do anything to improve it! I also accept request, any characters! Marvels, DC, B99, FRIENDS, Criminal Minds, TBBT, Community, basically anything! I accept anything! You can leave a comment or give me an ask!

Taglist

@sydneekomspacekru

[finnyboywolfhard]

Kiss It, Make It Better

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader 

summary: Y/N craves smoking with someone new, so who better than Steve Harrington. 

A/N: this is based solely on the ‘it’s only marijuana’ line in season three bc i am in love with stoner!Steve 

warnings: drugs <3, cursing, fluff 

word count: 2.4k 

Y/N and Dustin had the routine since Y/N got her license, that once a month they would have a sibling drive, in which they would drive around with the sole intent of getting caught up with one another. Given all the shit they had been through over the past few years, it naturally became their own special form of therapy. The Events of Starcourt on the Fourth of July and the days prior were once again weighing heavily on the two during their first drive since.

“What was it like being drugged?” Dustin asked, his curiosity weaving its way into his voice.

“Weird. It kinda felt like everything was the best thing ever, but it also came at the worst time. It was also weird that it was with Steve Harrington and Robin.”

“Is it like weed?”

“Is it like what?” Y/N knew the answer, it was no, but she had no idea why her little brother was deciding to ask her that in that exact moment.

“When you guys were drugged, I kept asking Steve if he did drugs, and he said that he only did marijuana. I wanted to know if they were comparable. So, is it like weed?”

“First off Dusty, you don’t ‘do’ marijuana, you smoke it. And secondly, I’m not answering that question, you can save that query for Steve.” Steve. Y/N had a lot of thoughts about him, it was interesting to hear about him from the rumors in high school in comparison to how she saw him act regularly. And ever since she started smoking to calm herself down, she has craved smoking with someone other than Robin, maybe Steve was worth a shot.

“Speaking of Steve, he said he might be over a lot over the next few nights while his parents are away, just so you know.”

“Oh? Is he coming tonight?”

“No, not tonight. He isn’t off work till 9 and mom doesn’t want him coming an hour before my dumbass bedtime— I still don’t get why she just NOW gave me a bedtime while you don’t even have a curfew.” Her brother started rambling, but all she could pay attention to was that he was going to be home alone tonight. Would it be that crazy of her to show up after all the trauma they had been through over the past 3 years?

“It’s because I’m legally an adult, so she’s treating me as such, and you’re just going into high school, she wants you to be safe. But okay, guess we’ll just have to see him soon.” The two drove around for a while longer before returning home. As the hours in between past, Y/N glanced towards her bookshelf, in which held a hidden stash of weed. She could always tell her mom she was just going to Robin’s, she would never try to prevent Y/N from seeing Robin.

She walked toward the bookshelf with soft footing, and with a gentle touch she plucked the hard covered book from the shelf. Inside lay two pre rolled joints she bought from her dealer and some bud Murray had snuck her after Hopper’s memorial. She snapped the book closed and tossed the book gently onto her bed. She put on a zip up hoodie and packed a fake sleepover bag. The books spine crackled gently as the cover was opened just enough for her to grab the pre-rolls out and into her pocket.

With backpack slung over her shoulders and her hands tucked securely in her pockets, Y/N strolled casually into the living room where her mother sat, as the minutes ticked quicker and quicker past 9:30–he was definitely home by now.

“Hey mom! Inhope you don’t mind but I’m gonna head over to Robin’s.”

“Oh! Did she call? I didn’t even hear the phone!”

“Oh no! She didn’t!” Y/N let in a gulp, she didn’t think this through. “She asked me a few days ago to come over tonight if I wanted to, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go until a little bit ago.”

“Ah, sounds like you, Do you wanna call her before you head over?” Claudia stood from her seat and began moving and motioning towards the phone.

“No!’ Y/N shrieked at her mother, who turned confusedly towards her. “Her mom goes to bed early and I told her that if I was gonna come it would be between 9 and 10, she assumes I’m coming, but I do really gotta get going.” Y/N glanced nervously at the clock, it was getting later and later and there comes a time where it’s a little uncomfortable to show up. Claudia glanced to the clock as well.

“Okay Y/N/N, you better get going.”

“Bye mom—“

“—Drive safe, be careful, I love you.”

“I love you too mom.” Y/N said as she practically ran to her car. She turned her car on and began the drive towards his house, not even thinking twice about where she was going until the car came to a park in his driveway.

“Shit!” Y/N yelled at herself. She yelled at herself for being weird and for showing up unannounced. She calmed herself down by saying, “who wouldn’t want someone showing up with free weed? Don’t overthink it.” She pulled in a complete, deep breath and walked hesitantly to the door. Three knocks sounded off the door, her breath fluttering ever so slightly as she let her hand fall to her side. Footsteps could be heard from the opposite side of the door, stepping closer and closer by the second. The doorknob turned and Y/N’s attention snapped up to meet the gaze of the boy at large.

“Hey Y/N, what’re you doing here?” Steve asked delightfully surprised. Her hand reached inside her pocket to pull one of the two joints. She lifted it from her pockets to where he could see it.

“Got a light?” She asked with a smirk.

After finding a lighter, the two made their way to his backyard. They sat parallel to one another in their chaise chairs. Y/N flicked the lighter a few times before sparking up the first joint of the night. She pulled a large huff in and held it as she passed the joint to Steve. He took in a long drag, holding the joint in front of him to inspect it after he hit it. A few seconds after Y/N had released her hit, Steve started coughing a bunch.

“Jesus Y/N, where the hell did you get this?” Steve said through the gasps for air.

“Good shit, huh?” Y/N joked as she inhaled another hit. The two fell into a rhythm of passing it back and forth as conversation allowed itself to flood the air.

“So what made you come here Y/N?” Steve pondered towards the girl.

“Dusty started asking me about when we were drugged, and apparently you told him you smoked weed. And, as much as I love Robin, I need someone new to smoke with, and you’re not AWFUL to hang out with.” Y/N explained, with sarcasm dripping from the last sentence.

“Wow, I feel so touched. Truly, I feel like the luckiest man alive. THE Y/N Henderson chose ME to smoke with. Best day of my life.” Steve rambled on, matching the sarcastic tone Y/N started with. The two laughed for a bit together, before Y/N spoke through the giggles.

“I am sorry for just showing up, I just didn’t know how to ask.”

“What? Am I that scary?”

“You’re THE King Steve, you’re the coolest, hottest guy at Hawkins. I was so intimidated by your male wiles. I am begging at your feet Steve Harrington.” Y/N mocked other girls she had witnessed in Hawkins. “No you’re not scary, I just couldn’t bring myself to say ‘Hey Steve, want to do some drugs with me?’ on our family phone, it didn’t feel right.” Steve let out a chuckle and a ‘fair enough’. It fell silent for a moment as the joint had its final hits taken from it.

“Why haven’t we hung out before? I mean away from all the traumatizing shit.” Steve asked slowly as he let himself sink down into the chair.

“Different friend groups before it all and then after and during it all, I didn’t and don’t want to impede on you and Dustin’s time. Plus neither of us have asked each other anyway.”

“That’s not true, I invited you to the movies that one day you stopped into scoops alone.”

“Yeah after I had already told you I was babysitting that night, you didn’t even ask to reschedule.”

“Yes I absolutely—didn’t. I didn’t.” Steve said, confidence dissipating. Y/N couldn’t help but focus to each small feature of his face one by one. Sure, she had looked at him but she never looked at him. He really was beautiful.

Jokes and stories were told between the two, laughter and exaggerated stories filled the bubble they put themselves in. In those moments, there was no one else in the world but Steve and Y/N.

“And that’s how Mike Wheeler broke his finger in our backyard.” Y/N let out through a fit of giggles. Steve clutched his stomach as he let himself fall back into the chair from the gut busting laughter Y/N had sent him into. As he got more comfortable, he glanced down at his watch. His eyes bulged at the time.

“Holy shit.” He said flustered, eyes never leaving the watch face.

“What? What time is it?”

“It’s almost 2 A.M.”

“Oh damn…” Y/N said, a dangerously fun smile finding its way to her face. Her hand reached towards the second joint in her pocket. “So this would be of no interest to you?” Steve’s squinted eyes opened just a peep. He let out a long whine.

“I think I’m too high to even move…but that looks so good.” Y/N looked between him and the joint. She noticed space for her to sit on the edge of his chair, and placed herself there. She placed the joint between her lips and gave it a light, waiting for the rolling paper burn down to the weed. From between her lips, she pulled the joint between her fingers and held it gently up to his. He took in a pull, never once releasing eye contact. With each consecutive hit, the distance between them drew closer and closer, eventually leaving their faces merely inches apart. Her fingers were so far back on the joint, they grazed his lips as he took in one of the final hits. Her fingers tingled from his touch. She glanced towards his eyes, his meeting hers already. The air around them went still and quiet. Their eyes were locked on each other, contact never wavering as their bodies moved towards one another like a magnet. His eyes stayed put on hers as his voice fell in the air.

“Give me one more.” Her hand lifted lightly and placed itself at his lips once more. The joint glowed a bright red as he inhaled the smoke. Y/N was so enraptured by his beauty, she didn’t notice the joint burning down to a nub. She watched as a cloud of smoke was blown from his lips and into the sky, before the heat had finally reached her touch.

“Son of a bitch!” She exclaimed as she dropped the roach to the ground. She lifted her fingers to her mouth, attempting to ease the burning feeling. The burn wasn’t bad, just a little redness but it didn’t hurt any less.

“Hey, let me see it.” Steve’s tone was much gentler now as he lifted her hand into his own. He raised her gently by her wrist to examine the burnt fingers. He delicately placed the burnt fingers to his lips and gave them a tiny little kiss.

“Kiss it, make it better.” He whispered, just barely audible to her ears. That’s what was so shocking about Steve, his heart was so filled with love and care. He did his best to make everyone feel protected, even if his popular guy persona overshadowed it at times.

“How are you so perfect?” Her voice came out quietly. Slowly, he lifted his head to look at her once more and without much thought, he closed the distance. The kiss was gentle and loving, but clearly stoked by passion. His lips upturned into a smile. She leaned back and traced her fingers across her lips. Just to make sure she didn’t imagine it, she pulled the boy towards her by the collar and planted one more kiss on him—and she noted that he kissed back with the same fervor.

“I have a crush on you Steve Harrington.” She said, hiding her blushing face from the boy. He turned her face towards him as he confessed,

“I’ve had a crush on you for like 3 months.”

“You have?”

“Yeah.” He said, his thumb gently grazing her cheek.

“Why?”

“Dustin talks about you enough, and I—uh I remembered all the times you’ve kicked ass over the past few years and it just kinda…happened. Who wouldn’t want someone as smart, badass, and beautiful as you?” He rambled our haphazardly, a blush forming across his cheeks as well.

“Steve…”

“Oh god, that was embarrassing, am I blushing? I feel like I’m blushing. fuck me.” Steve started rambling.

“Hey! It’s not embarrassing, it’s cute.” Y/N explained, but it didn’t seem to help. An idea flashed in her mind. “Oh no! You are so embarrassing, I am embarrassed. Ew, guess I

I’ll just have to close my eyes! I hope that embarrassing Steve Harrington doesn’t kiss me!” The sarcastic tone from earlier returning once more. A chuckle bubbled past Steve’s lips. He once more laid one on her, this time—a little bit more passionate than the past.

Y/N nuzzled herself into Steve’s side on the small beach chair they were on. The air sat comfortably still in that moment, the two reeling from the overwhelming emotions they had just felt. Quiet giggles pierce the air as Y/N studies her fingers.

“It worked.” She said matter of factly.

“What worked?”

“After you kissed it, I haven’t thought about it since. You made it better.” Y/N spoke melodically. Steve planted a kiss to the top of her head and pulled her closer in to him.

“Kiss it, make it better.” He repeated once more.

[waywardxrhea]

Part Thirty-Nine: First Dates

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence.

installment list

Word count: 3.2k

Emma and Steve go on their first official date!

After a few weeks of going to the support group, talking with the others more, and keeping Steve in the loop of all her emotions, Emma finally feels that she is ready to get back out in the world. Although they no longer had to work job after job to get by, while Emma locked herself away from the world, Steve had gone out and gotten a job at the local antique store.

One afternoon Steve is telling an intrigued customer the real story behind a World War II antique when the bell to the store rings as someone walks in. "Welcome in," Steve calls before continuing his story.

After finishing the story, the customer eagerly buys the product before walking out the door, saying, "Thank you so much, Captain Rogers. I'll cherish this forever!"

"It's no problem," Steve chuckles. This had turned into the usual experience around the store once people heard that Steve was working there. It was a win for everyone though because Steve gets to relive his life before the ice, the customers get a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and the store gets more business. Interactions like this and knowing he gets to go home to a loving girlfriend are the things that keep Steve going some days.

Steve starts to leave the front counter to go find the person that had wandered in when the customer comes up to him. "Hey Cap," Emma calls to him while holding up a bag. "I thought you could use some lunch."

Steve smiles and comes around the counter to give Emma a hug. "Thank you," he tells her.

Emma puts the food on the counter and turns to go, saying, "I shouldn't keep you from the other customers."

Steve grabs her hand and squeezes it, saying, "You're my number one, no one comes before you. Stay and eat with me?"

"Okay," Emma replies. "I'll get my food from the car and I'll be right back."

So Emma gets her food and comes back inside to sit at the front counter with Steve while they both eat their lunch. In the middle of their meal, Steve thinks out loud, "You know...I've never taken you out on a proper date. We've been in hiding for so long and then well...you know..."

"Huh, I've never thought about that," Emma says.

"Well how about this Friday night?" Steve asks with a smile. "We can go somewhere in Brooklyn or Manhattan and then make our way to Central Park!"

Emma can't help the giddy smile that makes its way into her lips as she nods and says, "I'd really enjoy that." Steve keeps his eyes on Emma for a few seconds so she cocks her head and asks, "What?"

"I just missed that beautiful smile of yours," Steve whispers.

"Oh Steve," Emma replies and feels her cheeks heat up in a blush. She turns away out of instinct to keep him from seeing her flushed face and sees a customer coming up to the counter.

The customer places a vase onto the counter and Steve asks, "Is that gonna be all for today?"

"Yes sir," the young man replies. "I've got a lady to impress tonight and I want a proper vase for her flowers"

Emma looks at the vase and thinks that it looks familiar. "You know, I think that vase actually has some historical significance to this town," she says as she studies the vase.

"How can you tell?" Steve asks curiously.

"It just looks so familiar. When I was younger and I interned with the local paper I got lots of history lessons from the other writers. They showed me around town and this looks just like something I saw in pictures dating back to when the town was founded."

"Would you mind if we make some calls to see if that's true?" Steve asks the customer.

"Not a problem," he replies.

After a few phone calls and getting a town historian into the store, they decide that Emma's hunch was right about the piece. It was used in the courthouses back when the town was founded. With that confirmation, the customer leaves happy and with a story about the vase for his girl.

"Good eye, Em," Steve tells her after he's gone. He thinks for a second and then says, "Hey what if you got a job here too? Business would go crazy having someone who knows a bit about the town's history here and all."

"That plus mister I was in World War II," Emma teases.

Steve chuckles and hugs Emma. As she hugs him back he tells her, "I also missed your jokes and teasing."

"I'll try to make sure they stay around," she replies.

After Steve and Emma finish up their lunch she stands, saying, "Now that I think about it, I need some sort of gift for that couple I used to clean for. I'm...I'm not sure if they're even still around but I want to go over and see. I would still like to help them out if they still are, but I also would need to tell them who I really am so I feel like a gift is in order."

"That sounds like a great idea," Steve says with a nod. So he leads Emma around the store to help her find something suitable for the occasion.

After Emma pays for the gift and Steve wraps it up for travel, she heads over to the couple's place. Emma takes a deep breath and knocks at the door when she arrives. After a few seconds, the door opens to reveal the woman with whom Emma can assume is her daughter.

"Can I help you?" the woman asks.

Emma tries to find the proper words to say and finally decides on, "Hey Mrs. Green. This is gonna sound super weird and crazy, but I'm the girl who cleaned your house for a while. I know I look different, but... it's me. I just wanted to check in on you and see if you still needed help around here."

"Emily?" the woman asks with furrowed eyebrows.

Emma laughs a bit and says, "Well my real name is Emma."

A look of recognition hits the old woman and she exclaims, "Wait you're Gail and Dave's little girl aren't you? You were reported missing for years after that bombing in Vienna!"

"Oh wow I didn't know anyone knew me that way," Emma replies.

"Everyone around here knows you that way honey! Come in come in! Marlene, make some tea will you?"

"Yes mom," the woman replies with a smile.

Emma and Mrs. Green make their way to the living room and sit down. "I brought you a gift, Mrs. Green," Emma tells her and holds out the bag. "I always noticed how you had some stuff from when this town was founded so I got you a restored plaque from the original courthouse."

"Oh that's wonderful sweetie," she gushes. "You know, you can call me Amanda if you want."

"Okay Mrs. Amanda," Emma replies.

"Ms. now..." the woman replies sadly. "Frank was one of the victims of the...what are they calling it now? The Blip?"

"Oh I'm so sorry," Emma replies sadly. "He was a great man."

"That he was," Amanda says with a small smile. "I miss him most days, but that's why Marley's here. She keeps me company. Her family were victims too."

"And now we have each other," Marley replies as she comes into the room with mugs of tea.

"Having a support system is a great thing to have," Emma replies. "For the longest time I took mine for granted because I couldn't snap out of the darkness I found myself in."

"I understand hun," Amanda replies.

The three women talk for a little while about everything that happened and how they've felt over the past year because of it. In the end, it's decided that Emma will come over once a week to help around the house but also so they can all just talk and keep each other company. Emma leaves the house that day feeling happy and looking forward to the rest of the week ahead of her.

Friday afternoon rolls around and Emma gathers up all of her things to get ready in the restroom outside her and Steve's bedroom. After taking a shower and shaving, she throws on a newly bought dress, does her makeup, and throws her hair into a cute updo. She looks at herself in the mirror, almost bouncing with excitement for her date with Steve.

Right as Emma finishes up her makeup touch-ups, there's a light knock on the bathroom door. She opens the door to reveal Steve in a nice blue button up and she smiles, telling him, "Well hello there handsome."

Steve opens his mouth to return the compliment but he's awestruck at Emma's beauty for a second. After gathering his thoughts, he finally manages to say, "Wow you look...gorgeous..."

Emma can't help the blush that makes its way onto her cheeks at the compliment which only endears Steve more. "Thank you, love," Emma replies bashfully.

"Here I got something for you," Steve tells her and reveals what he had been holding behind his back: a bouquet of a dozen white roses.

"Oh Steve, you didn't have to do that," Emma breathes.

"But as a gentleman taking his lady out on their first proper date I felt obliged to," he replies as he hands Emma the flowers and offers his arm for her to take. "I believe that our table at the restaurant should be ready right as we get into the city if we leave now."

"Sounds like a plan," Emma says with a smile.

She quickly puts the flowers in a vase before running back to meet Steve by the door. He offers his arm to her once more and escorts her to the truck where he opens the door for her to get in. "Oh, you're pulling out all the stops aren't you?"

"Anything for my favorite girl," he replies and kisses her hand before getting ready to drive.

Once Emma and Steve arrive at the restaurant and wait for their table, they see a familiar couple: Pepper and Tony, the former of which is pushing a baby stroller. Pepper notices Emma first and waves in greeting. As they approach Emma and Steve, Tony is the first to speak, saying, "Well if it isn't Captain Rogers and Miss Baker. It is still Miss Baker, isn't it? Spangles hasn't put a ring on it yet?"

Steve seems to get annoyed with the question, so Emma squeezes his hand before replying to Tony, "Yep, still Baker. How have you two been?" She then looks down at the stroller and smiles, asking, "And who may this little one be?"

"We've been good!" Pepper replies. She looks down at the baby in the stroller and adds, "This is little Morgan, our first addition to the family!"

"Oh isn't she precious?" Emma asks with a smile as she waves at the baby.

After giving Emma a moment with Morgan, Tony says, "Hey Baker, I'd...like to apologize."

Emma looks at him in slight confusion and asks, "Tony Stark apologizing? What happened to the self-assured guy who never apologizes?"

Tony raises his eyebrows and replies with, "Look I know I've never been the best at apologizing, but this here," he says while motioning at his little family with a smile. "This has changed me. And I would like to apologize for the things I said when I got back from being stuck in space for almost a month without food or water. All things considered, what I said was uncalled for."

Emma raises her eyebrows in an "I'm listening" way ready for his apology, hoping he wasn't being sarcastic because what he said about her did hurt.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what I said about you regarding what happened in Vienna. It was uncalled for and I truly am happy that you're alive after that bombing. Knowing what happened now, I also understand why you ran off to be with Spangles here. You two really do care so much for each other and I didn't realize what kinds of crazy things love can make you do until I got this family of mine."

"Oh wow thank you, Tony," Emma replies. She looks at Steve and says, "I really was willing to risk everything to make sure he was okay after everything went down."

"And that's great,'' Tony tells her. "Good for you two for finally fessing up your feelings for each other. It was starting to get irritating that neither one of you said anything when it was so obvious."

"Tony!" Pepper laughs.

"What? I'm just saying!"

Steve chuckles and admits, "It did take a while to confess my feelings for her."

Everyone has a little laugh and then Pepper elbows Tony. They have a short conversation in whispers before Pepper speaks up, saying, "Hey Emma. I know it might be a stretch to ask this of you, but we just wanted to offer you a job back with Stark Industries if you want it. You could keep tabs on what everyone else is doing to monitor the aftermath of the Blip and all. Keep the public in the loop that we're still trying to find a solution no matter the odds. It'll keep morale up. You don't even have to make the trip up to the Compound, we could set you up with the tech to work remotely."

Emma looks at them in shock for a second and asks, "And you're sure you'd want me back on after I ran off for two years and you thought I was missing?"

"Do you want the job back or not? Because we can totally find another reporter," Tony says with his usual snark back in his tone.

"There he is," Steve mutters to Emma quietly without Tony noticing.

Emma giggles before telling Pepper and Tony, "I'd be glad to take the position back if you'd have me."

"Great!" Pepper replies with a smile. "I'll give you a call in a few days to get things going."

"Can't wait," Emma says.

Right as their conversation is ending, the hostess calls out, "Reservation for Rogers?"

"Well that's us," Steve says. "It was nice to see you two."

"You too Cap," Pepper replies as she takes Tony's arm to walk out of the restaurant. Tony still doesn't say anything to Steve directly while they walk out.

"Wow, still cold as ice huh?" Emma asks and Steve nods curtly in response. Tony seemed to be set in his opinion on Steve and didn't seem to be on the path to forgiveness anytime soon. As they walk to the table, Emma asks, "What do you think of me working as a reporter again? You seem apprehensive."

"It's just..." Steve starts to say. He pauses and thinks about his next words carefully. "It's just that you've been doing so well lately and I don't want you to go back into that headspace you were in before. I think that reporting on this stuff may take back any progress you've made - that we've made."

Emma nods and thinks on his words for a second before replying with, "How about we see how I am after a few weeks back and then reevaluate? Judging by my talks with Nat there isn't much in the way of progress anyways so there wouldn't be much to report on. It'll be fine, okay?"

Steve sighs and shoots Emma a look of concern, saying, "As long as you're sure..."

"I promise I'll back out if I get back into that headspace," she tells him as they sit at the table. After giving their drink order, Emma reaches across the table to grab Steve's hand. She squeezes it and smiles as she tells him, "But let's not worry about that, or the past, or what may happen in a few weeks okay? Tonight let's focus on us. Right here and now."

"You got it," he replies with a smile.

After this exchange, Emma looks out the window they're sitting by and says aloud, "I really miss the city some days, the lights are gorgeous."

While he missed it too, Steve doesn't take his eyes off Emma while she looks out at the city lights with stars in her eyes. Smiling, he tells Emma, "Sure, the city lights are pretty, but I've got the best view in town right across from me."

It takes Emma a moment to realize what he had said and when she does register it, she feels her cheeks become tinted red. Emma hides her face in her hands which only makes Steve's smile bigger. After a few seconds, Emma gets over the comment and looks into Steve's eyes, saying, "I'm really glad we get these moments together."

"Me too," Steve agrees. He then sighs and adds, "I really don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't made it..."

"Hey now let's not think like that okay?" Emma asks softly. "What matters is that we're here together right now about to have a wonderful first official date!"

After a delicious dinner and dessert, Steve and Emma take a walk around Central Park for a little while before heading back home. When they get back to the lodge, Steve rushes to Emma's side of the truck and opens the door for her. Once she's out of the car, he leans down to kiss Emma softly.

Emma smiles into the kiss and wraps her arms around the back of his neck to bring him closer. After a few seconds, Steve moves to pepper some kisses on her neck before picking her up off the ground bridal style. Emma giggles and says, "I don't know what's gotten into you but I'm definitely not complaining Mr. Romantic."

"I have a surprise for you that's all," Steve tells her while he carries her up the front steps. "Now close your eyes, I want you to be surprised."

Emma laughs and obliges, holding onto Steve a bit tighter as she loses her sense of sight. After a few moments of moving through the house, Steve opens the door to their bedroom and helps Emma stand back on her feet before telling her to open her eyes. When she does open them, what is revealed is her and Steve's bedroom covered in rose petals and tea-light candles all over.

Emma can't help the smile on her face as she turns to hug Steve. "Oh Steve, this is...wow! When did you have time for this?"

Steve chuckles and replies with, "Well I had a feeling you'd take a while to get ready so I did this while you were doing that. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Emma replies and wraps her arms around the back of Steve's neck once more as he leans down to kiss her.

After a few seconds, Steve pulls away to look into Emma's eyes. He cups her face in his hands and tells her, "And I love you," before kissing her deeply. In an effortless move, Steve picks Emma up and gently pushes her against the wall while kissing her passionately, just wanting to be with her.

Emma's breathing picks up as Steve moves to kiss her neck once more. She runs her hand through his hair and whispers, "I love you too," before bringing his lips back to her own. The two then carry on in pure bliss, the best way to end their first official date.

a/n: ahh finally a cute fluffy one again! i missed the fluff!

next chapter

taglist: @mrsevans90

[ijenoyou]

It’s you again. one.

bucky barnes x stark!reader.

summary; when Bucky sees you again a few months after the blip he can’t help but remember his past lover.

warnings; spoilers from the serie hehe prob angst & fluff ig lol mentions of tony’s death

notes; soooo it’s been a while since i’ve written something sooo this might suck ass lol anyways remember english isn’t my first language sooo yeah enjoy :D

You were too tired to keep your eyes open, your body kept on swaying until you finally gave up making your head land on Bucky’s shoulder. His conversation with Sam getting interrupted when he felt your arms hug his metal arm.

Sharon had a smirk on her face and decided to start getting prepared for a meeting she had. “I have stuff to do so why don’t you guys enjoy the party? And don’t cause any trouble.” She said before leaving the room.

Sam stood up and began walking towards the door with Zemo following him. “You coming?” He asked his new partner.

“Uh, yeah, just let me lay her down.” Bucky answered and took your head carefully, guiding your body to lay properly on the couch, you were still holding onto his arm so he took one of the matching cushions of the couch and gave it to you so your arms could let go of his.

He took his jacket off and decided to cover you with it, making sure your back and arms were under it. He softly smiled and placed a piece of hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t tickle your face.

After that he turned around and saw both Sam and Zemo looking at him a subtle smirk. “What?”

“I’ve never seen you being so gentle.” He mocked gaining a groan from Bucky. “What’s up with that? Since the whole mission started you have been acting weird, is it because of Stark?”

“Depends on which one you’re talking about.” Bucky took one last glance at your sleeping figure.

“Her.”

Sighing, Bucky massaged his temple. “I need a drink first.”

*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡*･ﾟ｡

Back on Zemo’s private jet you decided to give everyone the cold shoulder, angry at them for leaving you without saying anything or at least leaving a note. You could’ve helped them with the hundreds of mercenaries that attacked them. Zemo placed a plate with food on it in front of you and gave you a small smile, trying to make you feel at ease.

Walking down the street with Zemo like nothings wrong made you feel on edge. Thinking that maybe the new copy of Steve would appear and make things harder but you kept on wishing that it wouldn’t be the case. Zemo lead the group to a unknown building.

“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Bucky said out of nowhere.

“Take Y/N with you, don’t what could happen.” Sam said and took your shoulder.

You rolled your eyes. “Sam, he can take care of himself.” Taking his hand off your shoulder you began walking to the buildings door, leaving everyone behind.

“See you guys in a bit.”

He came back after a few minutes and started talking about how the wakandians are looking for Zemo.

All of this mess made you wonder why were you there in the first place. Sure, you had nothing to do since your father died and also coming back after 5 years, didn’t help at all. But maybe you were there because Sam called, he was the only one who tried to search for you when you decided to disappear.

“Your TT would be proud of you.” Zemo’s voice brought you back into reality after watching their whole conversation and play it on your mind.

“What’s a TT?” You asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Whatever, we need to get moving.” Sam spoke dismissing the question you made.

You weren’t sure if the plan would work, searching for Donya was harder that you could think of and it definitively made you wonder what could go wrong if anyone from the group made a mistake. And losing your powers didn’t help the situation at all. But that’s a secret. Nobody knows you lost them and the most important thing, nobody knows you’re slowly dying. So maybe that’s one of the reasons you decided to help Sam, doing a last mission until your body gives up. You just hoped you get to finish the mission and not die in the middle of it.

But now, you had to worry about another thing. And that is John Walker, getting himself in things he doesn’t understand nor is involved in. Waiting for Sam next to him wasn’t the best moment in your life, the only thing you could do was stare at him with dislike written on your face.

Feelings like your skins burned you decided to start rubbing the sides of your neck and Bucky didn’t let that pass through blind eyes.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks with a bit of concern filling his voice.

“Uh, yeah.” You cleared your throat. “I’m probably getting sick, don’t worry.”

Before Bucky could say anything else, Walker decided to put the mission on risk and walk inside the building Sam and Karli were having a conversation. You extended your hand to hold John by the shoulder.

“Why don’t you go and take a seat? You’re going to ruin the plan if you walk inside.” You spoke, trying to hold in the pain and burning under your skin.

John pushed you and entered the building.

And just like that, the whole situation became a mess. Ruining and shouting, the only thing you had become used to in these days.

The Dora Milaje were now your only solution. And they definitely know how to make a good entrance.

“Why don’t you relax pal?” You said to John before he gets himself hurt by the Dora Milaje, but it was too late, he placed his hand on Ayo’s shoulder. Big mistake.

You decided to sit back and watch them fight, you and Zemo exchanged looks, you gave him a nod, letting him go to the bathroom and possibly run away.

“I told you to relax, it’s what you deserve for being an ass.” You spoke with mock towards John.

Before the Dora Milaje could leave, Ayo turned her head to you and extended her hand, which was holding a stick, just like the ones the Dora Milaje use but it looked different.

“Here, Shuri told me to give it to you.” You took it and placed on your back.

Now it was only Sam, Bucky and you.

You were too tired to keep going, there’s was no point in being there without powers, you could barely fight and it made you angry. But what made you feel even worse is that you didn’t know what was causing it and seeing your body fill in with different colored lines brought back some bad memories.

Tony was well-know for not sharing his feelings or thoughts. And that made it harder for you to help him. Being at a young age didn’t matter, you did understand what was happening to him, slowly dying by the toxins coming from his reactor.

Seeing the lines in his neck will always haunt you for the rest of your life. The worst part of it is that you couldn’t tell anyone about it, he made you promise not to tell Pepper or Happy and that also caused you some trauma. He made you believe you couldn’t vent out your problems to your family or friends. You didn’t have anyone. Not even Pepper. You decided not to bother her or Morgan with the “My adoptive dad died and I have no one else” act. So it was really hard to say anything to Bucky or Sam, you didn’t want them to know that your body is not the same since you fought against Thanos.

“Go to Sarah’s, I’ll tell her to receive you back at home, okay?” Sam took both of your shoulders. “You don’t look so well, let Buck and I finish this and then call me when you feel better.”

You nodded and decided to leave immediately. Before you could go, Bucky took your arm, grabbing your attention.

“Be careful, if something happens call me immediately.” He said in a serious tone. You pushed his hand off you and muttered a small yes.

Bucky’s eyes didn’t leave your figure until it disappeared behind doors. Sighing he took a seat on the coach.

“I think it’s time for you to tell me what’s happening between you and Y/N.” Sam demanded while crossing his arms.

Nodding, Bucky tapped the seat next to him, indicating Sam to sit there so he could start speaking.

“I’ve known her even before the mess at the airport started.” Bucky started to slowly speak. “Or at least her face.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N, she looks like someone I used to know back in the 40s, her name was Sophia.” He explained with clear pain showing in his eyes. “Sophia and I met while I was preparing to become a soldier, she was a nurse back then.”

“What happened to her?” Sam asked with wonder running in his mind. He wanted to ask more questions about this person.

“Died of old age. I fell in love with her, but never saw Sophie again, after Steve rescued me I tried searching for her but nobody knew what happened to her and just decided not to tell anyone about it.”

“Not even Steve?”

Bucky shook his head and sighed. “When I saw Y/N back at the airport I thought my mind was playing games with me and that’s why I never touched her when Y/N and Tony decided to go against Steve and I.”

Sam patted his friends back, trying to bring him some kind of comfort but it didn’t help.

“And I’m just frustrated because I don’t know why she looks like Sophie, I asked the wakandians if they could find any information about Sophie and they found about her family, she had two kids and one of them had a girl.” Bucky bit his lips, trying to see if he could continue the story.

“You don’t have to tell me everything Buck, if it’s hard for you then you ca—“

Bucky’s voice interrupted him. “It’s fine. You see, everyone knows Tony adopted her, so it felt like there only was one answer. She had to be the daughter of Sophie’s children but then it was another death end. I recently found out that she’s not from Sophie’s family. It’s just fate I guess.”

“Maybe the destiny is giving you another chance to be with her.” Sam tried to give a good answer to him after what he said.

“I don’t think so but if it is that way, then I don’t deserve it”

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Unforgettable (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello, everyone!

Songs used: "Unforgettable" By Nat King Cole (1952)

Summary: Wanda is forced to delve into her past as you deal with some unexpected obstacles trying to get back to her.

“I know, she does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn’t she?” Agnes- Agatha said to her rabbit with a laugh. Wanda couldn’t help but feel frustration creep under her skin at the air of indifference Agatha was speaking in. It was clear she couldn’t trust a word that came out of the other woman’s mouth, so she decided to take matters in her own. She would just look into the other woman’s mind to get answers. The perks of having powers.

Except… Nothing.

Rather than being able to see into the other woman’s mind she was met with a wall. Even in the early stages of having her powers this had never happened and Wanda couldn’t help but feel unnerved. “Oh, that’s adorable.” Agatha laughed. “My thoughts are not available to you, toots. They never were. So, don’t wear yourself out. It’s a waste of time. We have much more… pressing matters to tend to.”

Wanda clenched her jaw, refusing to play into the game Agatha clearly wanted her to play. “Where are my children?” Her blood boiled when Agatha mockingly repeated her question back to her.

Again, Agatha laughed. “Do you have an accent or not, sweetheart? Make up your mind.”

“Where are they?” Wanda repeated, flexing her hands to manipulate her powers only to be met with the same resistance from before. Her blood ran cold. This had never happened.

A chilling smile crossed Agatha’s features. “Aww. Sweetheart. Don’t you know? Your magic is useless here. Much like yourself.” Before Wanda could even consider reacting Agatha flicked her wrist and Wanda felt her arms get pinned tightly behind her back along with her legs as she flew forward. The invisible vice like grip tightening as Agatha flexed her fingers. Wanda groaned in discomfort.

Agatha began speaking again but Wanda could barely process the words as she panted in pain. “Basic protection spells. Honestly, how dim are you?” Wanda finally allowed herself to look around the room, taking in the strange markings that littered the wall. “These are runes, Wanda. In a given space, only the witch that cast the runes can use her magic. Do you know anything?”

“Who are you?” Wanda demanded.

“Who are you?” Agatha countered. “I was so patient. Playing along with your twisted little fantasy. Waiting for you to reveal yourself.” She smirked. “I will admit, sending fake Anna and fake Pietro seemed to push your buttons. I thought Amelia- sorry, Ellie, would have sent you over the edge but you didn’t seem to care if your wife mingled with someone else. Just like I’m sure she’s doing now.”

Wanda’s jaw clenched tightly as she pulled at the invisible restraints. “Leave Y/n out of this.”

It was clear Agatha was amused by Wanda's anger. “Oh, sweetheart. How could I do that when she’s the easiest way to get to you? And Amelia was more than willing to be an active participant in all of this to get Y/n back.”

In response Wanda leveled Agatha with a hard stare, not giving her the satisfaction. “The silent treatment? Oh, well. Guess I’ll have to talk to myself.” Agatha mockingly pouted. “When I sensed such powerful spells cast all at once… I knew I had to see it for myself. Mind control is a classic… But having thousands of people under your thumb, each with their own complex stories? That’s something special, baby.”

“I spent years practicing to be able to create one believable illusion, but you, Wanda… Westview under your spell? Every little detail is in place. You’re even running illusions all the way at the edge of town! Magic on autopilot.” Agatha pushed a hand through her hair, her eyes deranged. “What’s your secret? I need you to tell me how you did this.”

Wanda’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t do anything. I’m not-” Before she could finish, Agatha flicked her hand and Wanda was sent crashing into the walls on either side of her. Grunts of pain falling from her lips before Agatha stopped her directly in front of herself once again.

“I tried to be gentle, I did. To wake you up from this stupid little fantasy you have but it’s clear you’d rather fall apart than face your issues, little witch. You left me no choice.” Agatha stepped closer to Wanda. “What was it you said to your fake brother? You felt empty. Like you were drowning. Endless nothingness… Let’s start there.”

Wanda wordlessly watched the woman pluck a hair from her hair and chant words she didn’t understand under her breath. The strand glowing purple as it floated over to the door.

“It’s been fun playing pretend, Wanda… But now it’s time to look at the real thing.” Agatha whispered menacingly. “Let’s go.”

Agatha waved her hand and Wanda went crashing to the floor. “No.” She gritted out, her eyes locked on Agatha, refusing to look at the familiar door. She knew what would await behind that door.

“Did you forget that I have your children lock in this basement? It wasn’t a request.”

Before Wanda could respond she could hear the voices of Billy and Charlie call out to her behind the door and she knew she had no other choice but to enter.

______________

As you were flying lower to the ground your eyes caught the sigh of someone waving their arms noticeably. You needed to get to Wanda though. You needed to see her. To tell her you were sorry. That you were there for her… That you loved her.

Begrudgingly you flew down, you would just check if this person was okay before getting to Wanda.

When your feet touched ground, you were practically knocked over by Ellie leaping into your arms. “Y/n! You have to help me!” She cried desperately, tears streaming rapidly down her cheeks.

The sight overwhelmed you as you tried to maintain your composure. “Ellie, what’s wrong?” You asked cautiously, placing your hands on her shoulders to hold her back.

“My names not Ellie. It’s me, Y/n. Amelia.” She grabbed your hands and tugged you forward slightly. “Wanda is trying to keep us apart.”

You stumbled back with her words, not expecting it. “No. I don’t know who you are, but I know Wanda. I know I love her and that I’ve always loved her. I’ve seen it in my mind.”

Almost immediately the tears stopped in their tracks. Ellie- Amelia stared you down. The sight sent a chill down your spine as your fingers began tingling with energy. “Oh, Y/n, sweetheart. That’s just not true.” You noticed she began playing with a small device in her hands. “Maybe you just need a little… encouragement.”

Your fingers sparked with nervous energy, as a pit began forming in your stomach. “What do you mean?”

Before she could reply, Anna and Pietro strolled up. “There’s something about music that messes with her head.” Anna said flippantly, as she picked at her nails. “Try that.”

Pietro smirked. “If that doesn’t work I can help you out with that little device you have there, hot stuff.” He added with a wink to Amelia.

Amelia tilted her head thoughtfully. “That won’t be necessary. Agatha taught me a little trick.”

With a small wave of her hand, a purple fog drifted from her fingers and disappeared into your mind.

“Hello, beautiful.” You looked up from your place on the floor of the training room, smiling slightly when you saw it was Amelia.

“Hi, doll.” You replied back, the term of endearment tasting bitter on your tongue. It felt out of place. You tried to ignore it. This was your girlfriend now after all.“Here to get schooled in some hand-to-hand combat?”

A laugh fell from her lips. “Oh, please. I could take you any day, Y/ln.”

You smirked up at her. “That’s cute that you think that. My mentor is Steve Rogers. I trained with Natasha Romanoff almost daily. Captain America and Black Widow. My skill levels are unmatched.” You said easily as you brushed imaginary dirt off your shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah. We get it. You were an Avenger. Blah, blah, blah. That’s really not as impressive as you th-” Amelia squealed slightly as you swept her legs out from under her, pining her almost immediately.

With a grin, you looked down at her. “You were saying?”

You noticed the way her gaze fell to your lips and you couldn’t help but smirk again. Before you could do anything, she flipped you over, pining your hands above your head. “I was saying, I would’ve thought Black Widow taught you better than that.”

Her grip on your wrists loosened slightly as you tugged her down. Your lips meeting in a kiss.

Blinking rapidly, you shook away the fog in your mind as you refocused on the world around you. “Do you see now?” Amelia called out to you. “It wasn’t Wanda. It was me you were with.”

All the pieces of memories you had seen the last few days flashed in your mind. The love you had for Wanda flashed in your mind. There would never be anyone else. “No, Amelia. I’m sorry, but it’s her-”

“-it’s always been her. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” You winced at the tears that seemed to be forming in Amelia’s eyes. “I can’t love you when I have no room in my heart for someone else. Even if Wanda and I can’t be together. Even if I can’t forgive her.”

Your eyes widened at the memory that it seemed you were able to recall on your own. “I told you I was in love with Wanda. Why are you doing this?”

Amelia gritted her teeth. “Because Wanda didn’t deserve you, Y/n. I did. When Agatha approached me and told me this was a guaranteed way to win you back I knew I had to do it.”

You shook your head. “I'm never going to love you back, Amelia. I need to get to Wanda.”

“Ralph, now.” Amelia told Pietro, tossing him the small device. He caught it and sped over to you.

You felt the small prick against the back of your neck and then everything went dark.

__________________

The trauma of having to relieve losing her parents and experiencing the effects of the mind stone again weighed heavily on her. The pain was all fresh and Wanda wasn't sure she could take anymore.

Then she saw the familiar sight of elevator doors.

For a moment Wanda was sure her legs would give out underneath her. She knew that behind this door was peace. The peace she wanted her mind to remain in forever that didn't exist anymore.

The simplicity that was behind that door didn't exist anymore but it was something she longed to see.

Agatha made a quiet noise of surprise as Wanda moved forward on her own, rather than reluctantly as she had before.

The doors slid open as Wanda felt the cool breeze blow through her hair. The imagine of her younger self sat looking out at the city before her. “So, where are we now?”

“The roof of the Avengers compound.” Wanda said quietly. “It’s where Y/n and I fell in love. No matter how hard I tried to shut her out, she never gave up. Pietro was dead, and I was in a new country. I had never felt so alone… She saved me from drowning.”

Wanda’s heart thudded painfully in her chest she saw the younger version of herself open her mouth to speak. She knew what was coming next. “Y/n.”

You stepped in between Agatha and Wanda a small smile on your face as the younger version of herself never looked away from you.

Wanda’s breath hitched because looking back at it now, it was clear she had always been in love with you.

“Um, hi.” You began, bashfully rubbing the back of your neck. “I wanted fresh air and it’s such a nice day out and it looked like you could use company. I mean, not that you have to have company if you don't want it. I can go if you want or I can just sit here with you and-”

Wanda couldn’t help but laugh slightly as she interrupted you. “Y/n. You’re rambling.”

Your cheeks flushed, and the current Wanda couldn’t help but smile adoringly at the sight. Of how oblivious you both were. “Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

The young version of herself never let her eyes leave yours. A stark contrast from the girl who couldn’t even look at you for more than a minute when you first met. “You don’t?”

The redness on your cheeks darkened. “Well…” You winced. “I guess I did since I knew you’d probably be here and I just-”

“I like being around you.” Wanda whispered at the same time you said the words.

“Even if we don’t talk most of the time.” You finished shyly.

Her eyes shone slightly under the fading light. “What are your intentions now?”

You shifted slightly from foot to foot. “I think my intentions would be whatever you prefer.”

Wordlessly she pat the space next to her. You smiled as you took a seat next to her, looking out over the skyline, your shoulders brushing. “Wanda, I…” She tilted her head to look at you. “I don’t want to pretend I know exactly what you’re going through because we all fight battles that no one knows about… But if you ever need to talk or just have someone around I’m here for you. If that would give you even just a little comfort.”

Wanda’s eyes flashed with controlled annoyance. “What makes you think that talking about it would give me comfort?” You stayed quiet. “Or sitting here with you?”

Wanda flinched at the tone her past self used and watched the way you began spinning the rings on your fingers anxiously. You were nervous, she could see that now.

She wanted to yell at herself for all the time she spent pushing you away when she should have been pulling you closer.

“I just thought that-”

“The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again.” Wanda cut you off sharply, her eyes shining with unshed tears and her voice thick with emotion.

Wanda could see the understanding in your eyes. You knew exactly what she was going through, and she had no idea at the time.

You nodded faintly, shifting your gaze back to the skyline. “Sorry.” You said quietly. You pulled out your phone to play music, the default to being around Wanda. A silent support.

“Never before has someone been more… Unforgettable. In every way, and forever more that’s how you’ll stay.”

The music made tears well up in Wanda’s eyes because this was the first song you had played that she had allowed herself to actually listen to. The silent messages you were sending her. The walls you were breaking without even realizing it.

“I’m sorry.” She eventually mumbled.

You turned to face her, your brows furrowed in concern. “Don’t be. It’s fine, Wanda.”

A pained smile spread across her lips. “It’s just… I’m so tired.” She inhaled sharply and the glistening in her eyes became more apparent. “It’s like this wave washing over me, again and again. It knocks me down and when I try to stand up, it just comes for me again. And I… It’s just gonna drown me.”

The defeat in her voice made your heart clench as you fought the urge to hold her, to take her hand. “It may feel like it’s all sorrow right now, but there’s more.” You said quietly. Wanda’s stared back at you with curiosity. “The pain you’re in is a telltale sign of the love you gave. Of the unwavering strength of your love… because what is grief is not love persevering?” For a moment you just stared at one another.

The abrupt sound of a loud ad startled you both as you jumped. A laugh fell from your lips because of the terrible timing. “I really should start paying for ad free. Sorry.” You smiled at her nervously.

The surprise on your face was obvious when she smiled back at you. “No, it was funny.” She replied with a chuckle.

You made a face. “It is kind of funny that an Avenger can’t afford ad free music, isn’t it?”

“Mhm.” Wanda hummed, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

The sound of her laughter faded as you both stared at one another, the intensity of emotions left unspoken making the air heavy with tension. Eventually you both turned your gaze back to the skyline, your shoulders still brushing.

A single tear fell down Wanda’s cheeks as she stepped further onto the roof, the image of you both faded away as she looked around.

“So, to recap… Parents dead, brother dead, Y/n pretty much dead.” Wanda’s face crumpled in pain as the tears fell down her cheeks more steadily. Agatha continued on. “What happened when she wasn’t there to be your life raft anymore, Wanda?”

Wanda roughly wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“You’re right there! Tell me how you did it.” Wanda’s chest heaved with the weight of the emotions. “They tried to take Y/n, but you weren’t going to let that happen.”

Wanda’s eyes widened slightly as she thought back to the moment. “I wasn’t going to let that happen.” She repeated as she marched through the familiar door.

Anxiously she watched herself find your empty room, she watched the panic in her every move, she watched Hayward talk about you like you were nothing.

Her heart broke all over again as she watched herself hover over your practically lifeless body.

“I can’t feel you.” She whispered brokenly, the pain in her chest overcoming her. The sensation composing her entire being as everything within her collapsed. She was alone, and she knew she wouldn’t recover.

Her eyes glowed red as she waved a hand, all of the doctors in the room turning away from your body on her command. Hayward turning away as well before he could even react.

Carefully she made her way over to you and took you in her arms, her hands glowing as she carried you away through a back entrance where no one would see her leave.

Cautiously, she placed you in the passenger seat of her car and began driving. Her heart thudding heavily with each passing moment that you didn't wake up. The only thing that brought her a small semblance of comfort was the sight of your chest still weakly rising and falling with each breath.

After an hour or so of driving she pulled into an empty driveway. “This- this was supposed to be a surprise… I bought it when we were in Scotland... For when I was finally able to propose. For when we were finally able to start our lives together. Our happy ending.”

Tears began falling rapidly down her cheeks. “We were supposed to be a happy ending.” She whispered brokenly. “I just want you to be able to see it b-before you go. You deserve more than to have your last moments in that room.” Her words were shaky as if it took all she had to even get them out. Because it did.

Wanda made her way out of the car and carefully carried you out to the middle of the empty lot. “I love you, Y/n. So much.” She whispered, noticing the way your breath was becoming weaker and weaker by the minute. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Slowly she sunk to the ground, still holding you in her arms. The pain in her chest growing unbearable. She couldn’t breathe. All she felt was pain. Broken sobs fell from her lips as she watched the color steadily fade from your face. The steady thrum of your heart rate against her fingertips fading away.

With a scream of agony red burst from her chest and you began floating in the air, gently wrapped in the red. Quickly the energy expanded and expanded. The house appearing from nothing as your feet slowly touched the floor. The hospital gown that you were in moments before gone and replaced with an old-fashioned dress. Your eyes were still closed as the red energy continued to stream out of Wanda.

When the red faded away, Wanda was left breathless by the sight. All she could see was you. Her eyes watered when she met your eyes again. The eyes she had spent weeks begging to see open again.

You, standing before her with the same smile you wore the first time that you met. Your eyes looking at her with all the love you had before it all went wrong. That was all she ever wanted.

Tentatively she stepped forward, as if one wrong move would make you disappear. The outfit she was wearing transforming into an old fashioned dress as well.

The smile she gave you was loving as her eyes shone with feelings she hadn’t been able to feel in weeks. Happiness. “Wanda. Darling. I’ve missed you.” You said sincerely. “Should we stay in tonight?”

You turned on the radio before meeting her in front of the couch.

“That’s why, darling, it’s incredible that someone so unforgettable thinks that I am unforgettable too.”

As the music washed over you both, you took a seat on the couch wrapping an arm around Wanda, pulling her closer as her hand lifted to glide over your cheek. Her fingertips brushing along your jaw lovingly until they landed on the back of your neck and pulled you closer. Your lips met in a sweet kiss and Wanda happily gave herself over to the moment. To you.

Wanda watched the moment with an aching heart as the scene before her faded away. Suddenly she heard the sound of clapping in the distance. She cautiously made her way forward, squinting against the bright overhead lights.

“Bravo.” Agatha called sarcastically before snapping her fingers and disappearing into a haze of purple smoke.

Before Wanda could react, she heard the desperate cries of her children. “Mom! Mom! Help us!”

“Please! Please, help us!” Continued as she ran to the door and into the bright daylight.

Panic coursed through her veins as she ran down the street frantically trying to find the twins. Her chest tightening as her breathing became almost impossible.

A moment later she came to a stop before Agatha. The sight making her stomach turn. Agatha held the twins hostage as the purple force wrapped around their necks, preventing them from escaping. “I know what you are.” Agatha called out, but all Wanda could focus on was the pain her children were in.

Her hands began to glow as she made a weak attempt to reassure them. “It’s okay, babies. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“You have no idea how dangerous you are. You’re supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation and here you are… Using it to make breakfast for dinner!” Agatha’s lips curled in disgust.

The glow in Wanda’s hands intensified. “Let go of my children!”

“Oh yes, your children. And Y/n. And this whole little life you’ve made… This is Chaos Magic, Wanda… And that makes you... the Scarlet Witch.”

And we have concluded with part 8! One final part after this!

If you would like to actually read what happens in SWORD with Hayward its in part 13 of "Love Goes" which I will tag here. And a nice conversation that they had about feeling like drowning is in part 1 of "Love Goes" which I will tag here.

Ironically, I wrote that scene about drowning before episode 8 of Wandavision came out so it kind of messed with the flashback scene when I was writing it.

Anyway, that's all. As always, I hope you all enjoyed! Thoughts and comments always welcome! :)

Taglist:

@theofficialzivadavid // @tquick99 // @marrymemcgrath // @afuckingshituniverse // @pxterstrk // @aimezvousbrahms // @ensorcellme // @sapphicshots // @daisybri7

[hford0311]

He's Back

*Where the reader is also from the 1940s, and is now a part of the Avengers. Now, she has learned to deal with her displacement in time and moved on from the idea of love, especially after the death of her love, Bucky. Until, one day Steve calls for an emergency meeting where her world is turned around. Word Count: 2.2k*

Whispers were indistinctive around the Avengers Tower that you could never end up being a part of. When you made your entrances in different rooms, people would instantly stop talking, even if you were nearly silent coming in the room.

"Okay!" You exclaimed and threw a glass cup in the sink when it happened once again. "Do I need to set up a meeting, so I can be told what's being whispered around or something?" You yelled at Nat, Tony, and Bruce. They were shocked by your response. "I'm tired of this stupid silent treatment." You added, almost panting in anger. "Y/n," Bruce started to speak before the other pair in the room shot him disapproving looks. "No, tell me, Bruce. I can handle it." You stated. "Yeah, the cup can really tell that you can handle something," Tony dully remarked. "So you're going to stop everything to make sure that I do not know the stupid secret that everyone else in the tower gets to know but me. Cool, thanks, Tony," you stomped out of the room.

Steve was gone, the only person from your time, and he was the only person that you could confide in at times. You were also from the 1940s. You were friends with Steve and actually Bucky's girl up until his death in 1945. You were a nurse during the war. They shipped you off to Germany. There, you were one of the captured nurses that were forced to treat the German soldiers, and HYDRA decided that you were useful enough to keep around for decades. On and off ice for decades.

You kept messaging Steve to know when he was going to be back and where he had gone. It took hours for him for him to respond Emergency Meeting at 8. You tried knowing the content of the meeting, but he did not give you a response. You huffed and stayed put in your room until 7:55. That's when you walked into the main living area, where everyone was surrounded, including Steve. There was chatter, they obviously have not noticed you yet, this time. Steve asked everyone to back up and give them room. Them? You mentally questioned, who else is here?

The mini crowd back up and dispersed more in the living room. That's when you saw him. You were slightly embarrassed yourself when you noticed how you had pinched yourself. When you met his eyes, you felt time slow. He was not paying attention to anyone else either. You walked a few steps closer, "Hey, Sarge," you gently said. Bucky's body and face softened at your voice. "Long time, no see," you gave him a small smile. You could tell he wanted to reach out to you, but something was holding him back. Suddenly, you felt your stomach drop and a large amount of feelings suddenly attack you. For over half a century, you've known of his death, and it took you so long to accept that he was dead. Now, everything had backfired. All of that had now changed. You felt yourself beginning to sob. Bucky, your Bucky is alive. "This can't be real," you whispered and ran to your room.

The nightmares came back to you. There were incredibly recurring and were from your, what you call, main past being the 1940s and 1950s. However, they did not just include the horrible reliving the past like they used to be when you experienced them before. They included the screams and cries from Bucky to you. Your name and cries for help kept repeating, but you could never find where they were coming from until it was all dead silent, and you awoke panting and sweating. A few of the times included you crying out for him too and patting over the bed until you realized it was a dream.

This time after waking from the nightmare, you grabbed your throw blanket, quietly escaped your room, and went out to one of the patios. It did not matter how many times you did this, the view was always something that distracted you from the nightmares that occurred. The lights from all the apartments and other buildings were something that you always appreciated about living in the city. It did not matter that you were awake because you were not the only one. Sometimes, you would people watch and make up stories of the shapes of people that you go in and out of their lit living areas. It was all comforting. The opening of the sliding door made you jump in your seat a little, but you were fine when you saw it was Steve.

"Another one," he questioned and sat in the chair next to you. You nodded and wrapped the blanket around you tighter. "You know you can talk to whenever about them." Steve reminded you like he always does. Sometimes you debated making up a fake one to tell him about, so he could leave you alone about it. But like always, you pursed your lips and shook your head, "I'm fine," you quietly spoke. Steve sighed and looked out into the city. "It makes you wonder why their all up sometimes." He changed the subject that he knew he could get you to talk about. You gave a silent, second longing laugh before answering, "That's when you make up people stories. Like that building," you pointed at one about the height of where the patio was, the third closest building on the right, "on the third floor down from the top and fourth one to the right that couple are planning their wedding, it's going horribly, but they keep having fun along the way." You had a comfortable smile.

"Ever wonder what's that like anymore?" Steve asked while he looked at the window you exposed to him. You audibly scoffed, "Maybe almost a century ago, but I haven't ever since." Steve gave you a sad but understanding look. "Dedicate myself to fighting with the Avengers, I don't think any dreamboat could handle it. Just a single dame till the day I die...whenever that will finally be," you finished by rolling your eyes. You watched Steve looked at you with shock. "Well, Y/n, I'm surprised by you," he stated and leaned back in his chair, "I thought you would think differently with Bucky here. I know I have." You gave him a sad smile, "Steve, you and I both know that that person is not the Bucky we know and..." You faded into silence and looked back out. "Y/n, you haven't even-" "I know!" You paused after hearing yourself echo slightly, "I know, I haven't." You added much quieter. "The thought terrifies me, especially after coming to acceptance that my....was no longer, and being kidnapped with no hope in sight, I turned into a cold person. I saw him, a-and I-I..." you paused again, "I wasn't--fuck, I still don't know how to react to it, and I...am very mixed emotion about everything with him. On one hand, there's....what we had," your hands really helped you do the talking, "and now...I'm sure he has gone through worse than me. I'm sure he doesn't want to add anything to my plate of trauma, and I don't want to add to his." You finished.

"Y/n, you can't even get yourself to say Bucky's name." Steve pointed out to you. That's when emotions started. "Steve," you heavily exhaled, "that's the problem. Some nights, I wake up screaming for him. I pat my bed looking for him! I haven't done that since his mother told me about the soldiers coming up to her about his KIA in the '40s, Steve! I have nightmares of him screaming for me to help him, and I can never find him!" You took a large breath. "I am in an internal battle of wanting to run and jump in his arms like I wanted to do so badly when I daydreamed about the war being over and becoming a wife of an American hero while also wanting to stay the hell away from him because...well, everything after that to now!" You rubbed your forehead. "Y/n, he's here. Try something. Do you think he doesn't have the same feeling?" You looked up at the sky and shook your head. "It's terrifying." You breathed. "So is waking up from the ice, but we survived that." Steve said before getting up and going back in the tower.

***

Right on time again, up and terrified. You repeated your routine of going outside. You hummed old, familiar songs as you did. One of your favorite couples were dancing by their window. "You really have it all figured out, don't you?" You whispered, even though you knew you would never get an answer back. They were comfort characters in your world. You were so entranced by them that you did not noticed the other human walk out onto the patio as well, until he spoke. "Old habits never die." Your neck swiftly changed directions in shock at the voice. You tightened the blanket from a nervous habit. "Somethings never do," you simply added before turning away. However, your eyes kept glancing towards him. You noticed the recent haircut compared to when you saw him the other day at shoulder's length or a little beyond. "But so many things often do." He responded. "Can't ever go back even if we truly desired to." You added back to him.

There was silence. Eye contact never fully met. Under different circumstances of no history involved, some would say it resembled high school crushes. He finally gave in first and turned around to face you, hands on the railing of the patio. You noticed then that the left one was vibranium. You sighed and looked back at the couple near the window while humming songs from the '40s. Then, after a short while, you heard Bucky add to your humming. You stopped and shyly smiled back at him. "Music is nothing like it used to be," you mentioned. He lightly laughed and nodded. What came from your mouth next, you didn't really have control over, maybe it was an instinct like when you talk to Steve, maybe it was something you did not know you truly desired now.

"Want to head to my room and listen to it?" You couldn't avoid eye contact when he looked back at you now. You said it loud and clear enough that he looked over at you with a hint of shock. "That'd be nice," Bucky responded with a hint of a smile.

At first, it did start as simply that, listening to the records while sitting on your set of velvet wide wingback chairs. The occasional glances and small smiles shared. Then, Bucky made a move. He stood from his chair and stood in front of yours, offering you a dance. "Oh, Bucky, I haven't danced since-" "1943?" You nodded at him finishing your sentence. "I haven't either," he added and as gentle as he could be, he grabbed your hand to pull you up to dance with him. You allowed it to happen, resistance did not feel right to you in that situation.

The dancing started stiff and cautious like neither of wanted to frighten the other. However, it grew into a more fluid dancing, the pair of you getting more comfortable with each other. After a couple hours, you felt comfortable enough to rest your head on his chest. "Don't fall asleep on me, Y/n doll." He quietly said, which made you look up at him with curiosity at the old nickname. "I'm sorry," he admittedly said. "I shouldn't have-" "Don't apologize," you deeply whispered and leaned up, kissing Bucky's cheek. Then, his lips, after so many decades, had reconnected with yours, quick and short turned into long as well as passionate.

The world around you both felt like it turned back to 1943. The room was now Bucky's apartment, his clothing turned into his sergeant uniform, yours into the red shirtwaist dress, and time didn't hurt the pair of you like the present. "Never leave me again, James Buchanan Barnes." Your lips drew together and bodies grew closer. "Wouldn't dream of it, Y/n doll," Bucky would mutter against your lips and pulled your closer by the waist.

As your back landed on the bed, you physically felt your breath being caught. "Bucky," you exhaled in a tone that was no longer flirtatious or excited, rather it was a sad realization. The dimly lit apartment, the uniform, the red dress, all of it turned back into reality of your room in the Avengers Tower. You can see that the dream ideal world had broke from his eyes as well. "Bucky," you breathed as you stood and softly grabbed both sides of his face, "you were gone. You were gone for so long." You lightly cried. He embraced you, holding you close to his chest. "I know, doll." Bucky lightly kissed the top of your head. You gripped the back of his shirt. "Don't ever do that again." You whispered into him. "Why would I ever do such a thing?" Bucky held you tighter.