#we might have felt different if they actually like. showed the pressure or something of the like

[mantisgodsdomain]

we all know what you hate that wasn't elaborated in bugfables (every. Thing) and which the fandom ignores.

Therefore, 21, exclusively for canon and not fanon

(Choosing Violence)

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Elizant's whole... thing honestly felt kind of poorly executed and, like... excuse-ish for us? Sure, she has a nice sob story, but we had already read the Ladybug lore books, like, in Chapter 2 or so, and we were already really inclined to agree with Leif on this new queen rubbing us the wrong way with just about all of her actions leading up to this point, and "i'm under a lot of stress" rang incredibly hollow as a result.

Sure, she's stressed. She's a queen, there's stress in that job. However, as someone who has felt the pressure to live up to expectations before, we really don't think that the pressure to live up to her mother's legacy actually excuses any of that and it makes everything the game tries to throw at us regarding "but it was okay because she felt bad about it and she's trying to fix everything" honestly feel just... incredibly shallow. Maybe it would be different for someone who didn't read the Lore Books at the first available opportunity. For us... it really makes everything regarding her sudden heel-turn into a Sympathetic Character feel pale and overhyped.

[defectiveporcelaindoll]

Chapter III: So High School

“Bittersweet sixteen suddenly”

series masterlist previous chapter

pairing: post-prison/ cm: evolution Spencer Reid x BAU AFAB!Reader (I like to think this is where Spencer is during the current seasons.)

series synopsis: an unsub with a taste for couples and power imbalances leads Doctor Spencer Reid not only back into the classroom but down the hypothetical aisle with the BAU's newest Probie for an undercover assignment that may change his life.

cw: age gap (Spencer is 42, reader is 24 in chapter 1), Use of y/n's (I'm sorry, I know l'm sick of it too.), fake marriage, romance romancing, kisses and touches but no smut (yet…maybe) ; Reader is feisty and flirty; Spencer is anxious and has an aggressive outburst; female reader she/her pronouns, and mentions of typical CM violence.

wc: 2.7k (they just keep getting longer and longer)

“Okay. Classes are canceled, if anyone asks, you’re sick. I called Emily, let her know we won't be working tonight. Uh, what else- oh! I got us a reservation at the Glass Garden. I think that might be fun, and I got us a table at a restaurant that has really great reviews,” he called from his place on the sofa. Hearing the bathroom door open, he turned, his breath catching in his lungs. In the backlight of the bathroom, Spencer Reid almost believed he’d seen an angel standing in his living room in a sundress.

“Oh- um, you look really pretty- not that you aren’t always pretty, obviously you must know that you’re beautiful but I just—in comparison to when you were crying… you’re…” Any attempt to save himself from the awkward hole he’d dug himself into died on his tongue as Y/N giggled. Her laugh was like a ray of sunlight, melting parts of Spencer’s heart he’d long forgotten.

“Okay, so I’m sick,” she gives him her best fake little kid cough, causing him to roll his eyes. “We’re off duty and you made us plans…oh, and I guess I clean up pretty good for a girl who just had a meltdown against our front door.”

“Very well… for a girl who had a meltdown against our front door,” Spencer nods, his cheeks beginning to ache from the smile that’s been plastered on his lips since she entered the room.

Once they were off campus, the couple let out an exhale neither were aware they'd been holding, away from prying eyes allowed to simply exist as individuals for the first time in weeks.

“You said we’re going to a glass garden?” Y/N asks, fiddling with the sleeve of the cardigan Spencer insisted she bring as they make their way down the highway.

“Yes! The Chihuly Garden,” she smiled, loving the way his features lit up with such excitement. “It’s supposed to be this insanely beautiful collection of really intricate and colorful glass sculptures. I’ve always wanted to see it but we never have time when we’re in the city for a case. Actually, I saw one of the artist's pieces in London—god, it had to be almost twenty-five… years ago.”

Spencer’s heart dropped to his stomach, the excitement in his voice dying with the last words, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. His age was showing, and this feeling was something he’d never experienced before. For nearly twenty years, Spencer had been the youngest person on the team. Even at forty-two years old, he still was the baby until Y/N joined. Was this how everyone else felt, talking to him about ‘the good ole days’ for all those years?

Y/N glanced over at him, a soft sympathetic smile taking her lips. In the three weeks she’d spent in such close proximity to Spencer, she’d picked up on a few of his tells. Right now, she could see the wheels turning in his mind, convincing him he’d ruined things and debating addressing the difference in their ages.

“Spence—”

He didn't respond, his mind still running rampant until he felt the pressure of a hand on his thigh, pulling him back to reality and causing him to inhale sharply, his eyes frantically shifting between the hand, the road, and the woman in his passenger seat.

“There we go…” Y/N mumbled, giving his thigh a little squeeze before pulling her hand away and back into her lap. “You know it doesn’t bother me, right? You don’t need to freak yourself out because you’ve got a couple of years on me, Spencer,” she said with a little more confidence than Spencer was used to hearing from her.

“And besides, I’ve always had a taste for older men,” she shrugged, leaning across the center console to press a kiss to his now flushing cheeks. Spencer couldn't even bear to look at her, his heart racing as he tried to remain focused on the road. Was Y/N actually flirting with him or was she teasing him? Surely it had to be a joke.

The remainder of the drive was uneventfully quiet, with the couple only really speaking to point out the landmarks they’d passed until they pulled into the tiny parking lot beside the Space Needle. As soon as he’d killed the engine, Spencer was out of the car, running around the back to grab Y/N’s door. She smirked, eyeing the older man up and down as he playfully caught his breath from the minimal jog.

“Shall we, M’lady,” he mumbled awkwardly, offering her a hand as she slipped out of the car.

“get my car door isn’t that sweet. then pull me to the back seat”

“Who said chivalry was dead… Keep it up, we won't be making it out of this parking lot,” her brow wiggled rather suggestively as she watched Spencer gulp, his palm beginning to sweat against hers. “Come on, lover boy. I need that big brain to tell me all about the pretty glass.”

Their afternoon was spent hand in hand or arm in arm, the two only separating long enough for one of them to take a photo of the other. Spencer claimed he ‘needed a good photo for his office’. Y/N thought it was cheesy, but she’d giggle and pose wherever he directed her, and he’d try to do the same for her; though, his poses were far more stiff and awkward, but somehow, that made them all the more endearing.

They spent hours observing the installations, with Spencer rattling on about the different techniques used for each detail and Y/N occasionally offering her own commentary about how the art made her feel. To any passersby, they looked like a happy couple that had known each other for years, not two FBI agents playing make-believe for a while.

The restaurant Spencer had picked for dinner was across the park from the gardens, so there was no sense in moving the car. The once bright late summer sun had fallen victim to the Seattle clouds that were beginning to roll in as the couple meandered through the park. Spencer’s eyes trailed the younger woman’s face; he could tell she was contemplating something.

“What is it?”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Y/N glanced up at him, her hand falling from his grasp as she twisted her fingers anxiously, waiting for Spencer’s nod of approval. When it came, she paused, taking a deep breath.

“Doctor Spencer Reid, do you know that you completely changed my life?”

Spencer froze a few paces in front of her, brows knit together as he tried to decipher whether or not this was part of her act as the loving wife or if he actually, unbeknownst to him, had an effect on this young woman’s life.

“You taught a seminar in Nevada five years ago, breaking down the relationships between psychology and philosophy in human behavior.” Y/N’s gaze dropped, the summer breeze exposing the blush creeping up her ears. “I wasn’t even supposed to be in the class; I was an English major, but my roommate dragged me along… and maybe it was the way you taught, your excitement I guess? Or the way that it felt like you actually cared. I could’ve listened to you talk for hours.” She chuckled softly, shaking her head. “After that seminar, I marched myself down to the counseling office and became a psych major… added a year and a half to my college experience, but given that I’m about to walk into a very expensive restaurant, married to the professor who changed my life? I think it just might’ve been worth it.” She let out a breathy chuckle, her eyes searching Spencer’s for any indication of discomfort before dropping her gaze back to her hands, mindlessly fiddling with her wedding band. “Sorry, I just really needed to get that off my chest.”

“tell bout the first time you saw me”

For a moment, Spencer sat awestruck. He rarely found himself at a loss for words, but the newfound warmth in his chest made it nearly impossible to speak. So instead, he took her hand, his thumb brushing over her knuckles as he nodded, guiding her down the path to the restaurant in silence until they reached the door. He hesitated just outside, bringing her knuckles to his lips.

“Thank you… just… thank you.”

Dinner went smoothly, with the only minor hiccup being Spencer’s tangent about the bread basket and his qualms with group food. But other than that, the two simply enjoyed each other’s company, the sound of rain echoing against the roof as they ate.

As the couple exited the restaurant, they were met with the heavy downpour of a summer night storm. Y/N sighed, pulling her cardigan around her a little tighter, her lips pursed as she looked up at Spencer, his hands stuffed anxiously in his pockets. There was no way they were getting to the car dry, he knew that as a fact. So, with a little sigh and a nod to Y/N, he stepped out from the covered awning, arms outstretched as he let the rain soak him.

“Oh, so you’re crazy!” Y/N called, her voice hardly audible over the downpour, making no attempt to move. After a minute, Spencer jogged back to her, his arms wrapping around her middle as he lifted her, kicking and laughing, carting her out into the rain. She wiggled free of him, a smile plastered on her face as her hair began to drip.

 She spun around, embracing the fact she was now thoroughly soaked, a girlish giggle passing her lips as she tucked wet hair behind her ears “Ya now, even soaking wet, this may just may be the most successful date I’ve ever been on.”

Spencer quirked a brow, his head falling to the side like a puppy’s. “Your dating pool is really that bad?” he mused, remembering what it was like to be in his twenties awkwardly trying to make meaningful connections with people

“I don’t even really date; the men—no, they were boys—that have come into my life only ever want to waste my time, so… It’s like a twisted game of kiss,marry, kill? Except everyone sucks and there is a good chance someone is going to actually be crazy enough to kill you?” She shrugged, taking a moment to stare up at the sky her lashes heavy with raindrops

“So what’s it gonna be?” she called, her head turning to glance up at Spencer, the challenge in her eyes illuminated by the gas lamps lining the pavement. “You gonna marry, kiss, or kill me, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer’s eyes darkened, accepting her challenge with a mix of desire and determination as he stepped closer. Wordlessly, closing the space between them, his hand gently cradling her jaw, his touch an even balance between tender and possessive. He leaned in, devouring her lips, capturing her in a kiss that was anything but tentative. The kiss was electric, a rush of sensation that made the world around them disappear. His other hand found its way to her waist, pulling her closer, his fingers digging into the damp fabric.

Y/N responded eagerly, her fingers gripping the damp fabric that clung to his chest, pulling him closer still. She melted into him, the feel of his lips moving against hers sending shivers down her spine despite the warmth that blossomed in her chest. The rain pounded around them, soaking their clothes and plastering her hair to her face, but she didn’t care. All that mattered was the way Spencer held her, the way his mouth moved over hers with a hunger that left her breathless.

“I’m betting on all three,” she whispered against his lips, her voice dripping with desire.

         “All three…” he repeated, pulling away just enough to press a kiss to her forehead, his hands still cradling her face. “I am way too old for you…” he muttered breathlessly, his head shaking as he brought it down to rest against hers.

“The bureau seems to disagree,” her retort was quick, her lips ghosting over his. “And like I said earlier, it doesn’t bother me. I’m a big girl. I know what I want.” She kissed him one more time, hard and quick, before bolting through the park towards the car, leaving Spencer standing in the rain like a lovesick kid.

Spencer watched her go, his heart pounding hard and heavy against his ribs while his mind raced a million miles a minute as he tried to make sense of the fact that his ‘wife’ just might actually like him.

“Are you coming or what?” The rain had died down enough for Y/N’s voice to travel with ease. Spencer ran his hand through his wet curls, pushing them off his face before breaking into a jog up to the car. When she was within arm's reach, Spencer pulled her close, just taking a moment to hold her, fantasize that this life they were leading could be his reality.

Y/N wasted no time, her lips finding the curve of his jaw with ease, her hands tugging at the collar of his shirt. Spencer let out a groan, his head turning just enough to grant her better access to the sensitive skin at his neck, carefully guiding her back against the car door before returning his hand to her jaw, drawing her lips up to his.

There was a moment of bliss, where this was the only world that mattered, just a couple of lovestruck kids, then the shrill tone of Spencer’s phone cut through the air.

“Let it ring,” she all but whined.

“That’s Emily’s ringtone—” he groaned, fishing the all too loud phone out of his pocket and sighing loudly before putting the phone to his ear. “It’s not really a good ti-” he stopped, his gaze flicking down to Y/N, her frame pressed against the car door, another sigh leaving his now slightly kiss-bruised lips as he untangled himself from her. “No, I understand, I hear you. We’re heading back to the house… we’ll be there to meet the officer.” She took that as her cue, silently slipping into the passenger seat. Spencer stayed outside, pacing the length of the car, nodding to himself as Emily continued to talk.

“I’ll let her know.” His voice was muffled from behind the window. “Yup. Okay. We’ll call you if there’s any update. Good night.” Y/N watched as he hung up the phone, his head hanging low for a moment before he turned, striking the back door in a heated flash of anger, before he stalked around the car, climbing into the driver's seat.

It’s silent for a moment, the car tense with now long-forgotten lust as Spencer tossed his phone into the center console.

“There’s another couple. Same MO, same calling card.” She could see the frustration bubbling to the surface again as Spencer’s knuckles started to turn white against the steering wheel. “Local field agent is going to bring the updated file and the crime scene photos to the house…”

“Spence, this isn’t your fault—”

“I never said it was,” he bites back, sending Y/N shrinking into her seat. “I’m sorry… I just— I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I didn’t mean to snap at you… I know there was nothing we could’ve done. But it's still frustrating.”

She nods, now her turn to comfort him, her hand hesitantly reaching out across the center console to pry his from the wheel, gently squeezing. “I know, Spence. I know. We’ll figure this out, build our profile, but unfortunately, we just need a little more time. Hopefully soon enough, this unsub will take the bait and it’ll be us against them…” She chuckles softly, shaking her head in an attempt to lighten the mood. “God, that’s morbid… thinking it’ll be a relief to have a murderer place a target on your head…”

“You get used to it…” he said, any warmth in his voice evaporated as the engine roared to life.

the brink of a wrinkle in time

taglist : @olives-and-sunshine @iniyalovesall @suzysface @guiltyyassin @spencereidbasis @tatilolz @cherrycemeterry @hiireadstuff @r-3dlips @sweetpeterparker @catertotshitposts

I hope i got everyone! if you’d like to be added to the taglist don’t hesitate to lemme know and as always i’d love to know the thoughts and feelings! xo

[rrenzwrld]

nobody else, nothing else

connie x bimbo cheerleader!black reader

finally got a chance to continue this concept! i actually like how it turned out even though it doesn’t show the whole bimbo cheerleader aspect. i just got carried away into the fic but i might think up more hcs…anyways enjoy!

ever since connie asked you out and your relationship progressed, he felt pressure. he felt some kind of pressure from anyone who’s ever known you or him to do things that he wasn’t used to doing.

“she’s high maintenance.” he knew that and didn’t mind catering to you whenever he could. you were the sweetest person ever and deserved the world.

“she’s way out of your league man. ain’t no way you pulled that” maybe you were but if you didn’t care, neither did he.. at least he tried not to. you were beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, kind, everything someone would only get in a dream.

“she’s too good for you. you don’t know how to handle her” they spoke of you as if you could be handled like a pet or something. like you were this wild animal he had to tame or you’d spiral out of control. most of the time connie didn’t care about what was said but if he was left with his thoughts for too long, it’d be good for no one.

“connie, you been ignoring and avoiding me. why?” he couldn’t tell you that.

“there’s a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“what, so you don’t have time for me anymore? you have time for basketball and everything else.”

“it’s not you.”

“that’s hard to believe.”

“y/n.. can you please? i don’t wanna talk right now.” you were visibly hurt. he could never tell you to go away but something was different today. he didn’t wanna let you see him in a way that you weren’t used to seeing

“oh really?” he could see your body shift at his words and it hurt him to see you like that but he didn’t wanna burden you with his insecurities. “well,” you looked down at your shoes. “let me know whenever you’re ready to talk.” he knew how you operated and even though you insinuated that your lines of communication would be open to him still, that phrase for you only meant that you’d have your phone on dnd for the rest of the day and there was no getting through to you until the end of it.

the day went on and connie found himself standing outside of the door of your last class, waiting for you to walk out of it. his thoughts had been consuming him all day but all he wanted was you in his arms to take all of that away. he couldn’t afford for you to be upset with him right now.

“y/n.” connie grabbed your arm as he saw you nearly walk past without acknowledging him. you looked at the loose grip on your arm.

“constance.”

“stop that.”

“stop what?”

“that. being childish, you know i don’t like when you call me that.”

“and i don’t like when you’re not honest with me.” you crossed your arms stern over your chest, letting him know you weren’t backing down from the topic at hand earlier.

“ay, tesoro…can we please not do this right now?” you shrugged.

“maybe not now but we have to talk about it after practice. promise?” you held out your pinky. of course connie wouldn’t tell anyone his feelings if he didn’t have to but it was you. he wanted to be able to do anything for you so he intertwined his pinky with yours.

“good. call me later?”

“of course, i love you.” he leaned in to quickly place a peck on your cheek before he left to get ready for practice while you waited for your mom to get you because you didn’t have cheer practice that day.

when practice was over, connie went home and make sure all his stuff was done before he decided to call you. the two of you called each other almost every night but this particular call was making him nervous.

“i’m guessing you’re ready to talk?” connie sighed loudly and you giggled at how annoyed he was but you pondered about why sharing his feelings was so difficult with you.

“i guess so.”

“so, what’s been going on? what’s been on your mind?” connie didn’t think he’d have to address these particular concerns with you and was worried as to if you’d judge him or not even though that wasn’t your character.

“just…some insecurities, that’s all.”

“elaborate, please?”

“people say i don’t deserve you and i don’t like how that makes me feel.” you didn’t like how that made you feel either and connie’s softened tone hadn’t made it easier. “makes me feel like a shitty boyfriend, ya know? like what do they think i’m doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? what’s wrong with me? do you really deserve bette—“

“baby.” you interrupted his rambling. “you’re perfect, okay? you have nothing to prove to me and especially not to whoever is saying those things to you.” you sweet voice calmed connie over the phone but he knew he’d feel much better if he had one of your hugs to pair along with it. “i love you, you love me and that’s all that matters. nobody else, nothing else, alright?” connie stayed quiet for a moment before answering.

“yeah.”

“nobody else, nothing else.” in the back of connie’s mind, he didn’t think he deserved you. he believed he was too flawed for you and you were supposed to have someone as perfect as yourself. but you didn’t care about any of that. you loved connie for connie and no matter how imperfect he thought he was, he was perfect for you.

“now, how was practice?”

[ereardon]

Before I Knew [Jake Seresin x Reader] Chapter Ten

A Jake Seresin unexpected pregnancy fic

Overview: On your first night after moving to San Diego to spend more time with your brother Bob, you unknowingly have a one night stand with his teammate Jake Seresin. For the first time in his whole life, Bob has a closely knit friend group and you’re desperate not to rock the boat. But an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy upends your world, forcing you and Jake closer together, against Bob’s wishes. What will happen when you find yourself actually falling for the father of your unborn child? 

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader; Bob Floyd x Sister!Reader 

Warnings: Pregnancy, cursing, eventual smut, angst

Chapter summary: Ducky and Jake deal with jealousy; the team meets Bob's new girlfriend

WC: 2.5K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here

The first time it happened, you were at the library desk, sitting down and pouring over a handful of new returns, typing in their serial numbers to check where they were meant to be shelved. 

“Excuse me?” You looked up. A guy, probably in his mid twenties, with blindingly white teeth and perfect olive skin, smiled down at you. “Could I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” You pushed away the book and leaned forward on the desk, hands smoothed down over the cold surface. “How can I help you?” 

“I’m looking for a book about motorcycle repairs.” 

“Sure, I think that would be over in that back left corner.” You pointed one finger. 

He grinned. “Care to show me?” There was something flirty about the way he said it and you felt your blood pressure rise. 

“Sure.” You stood up and walked around the edge of the desk. 

His eyes widened as he looked you up and down. He cleared his throat. “Actually, uh, I’m sure I can find it myself. Thanks.” He was gone before you could even comprehend what had happened. 

And then you looked down and realized you could no longer hide it. 

***

“Y/N?” Jake’s voice rang out in the apartment. “Honey?” 

You emerged around the corner wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of bike shorts with a frown. “What did we talk about?” 

He smirked. “Sorry, habit.” 

“What do you want?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Just wanted to tell you I’m going out,” he said quietly. 

“The bar?” 

He hesitated. Then, “Um, No. a date.” 

Your heart squeezed. And even though you had said he should date, you hadn’t really meant it. You hadn’t thought he would go through with it. “Oh,” you whispered. “OK. See you later I guess.” 

Jake frowned. “Do you, uh, want to come with?” 

You cackled. “You’re joking, right?” 

“I don’t know what to do here, Y/N,” he sighed. “You seem upset but you told me to date. You practically shoved me out the door. And now I feel guilty leaving you alone.” 

“I’ll call Phoenix,” you said, picking up the phone. “I don’t want to go along on whatever slut date you have planned.” 

Jake’s face hardened. “Well OK. I guess I’ll see you later.” The sound of the door closing, hard, made you jump. 

You collapsed on the couch and pulled out your phone. “Phoenix, it’s Y/N. Listen, do you want to come over?” You paused. “Jake is out on a date.” 

“I’ll be there in ten.” 

***

“He’s a jerk.” 

“I told him to go!” 

Phoenix yanked her hand out of the popcorn bowl. “Still. Jerk.” 

“Was he like this when the two of you were together?” 

She closed her eyes for a moment then shook her head. “Yeah, uh, he’s always been like this.”

“Why do you sound so hesitant?” 

“Honestly?” 

“Hit me.” You pulled your legs up beneath you on the couch and slapped your knees. 

“I thought he would be different,” she said quietly. “With you. With the baby. That maybe this was the wakeup call he needed to get his life together.” 

“I guess not,” you replied. 

“Don’t count him out yet,” Phoenix added, sipping her wine. “He might surprise you.” 

Less than an hour later, you and Phoenix both turned as the key in the lock swiveled and the door opened. She looked over at you, wide eyed, as Jake stepped inside alone. 

“Trace,” he called out as he stepped into the living room. “Y/N.” 

“Hangman,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “You’re home early. Quickie by the side of the road, no dinner?” 

He blushed, a grimace over his handsome and chiseled jawline. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

“Yup,” she said, tossing one arm over your shoulder. “Right here, watching Desperate Housewives.” 

“Natasha,” he said and there was something in his voice. Both of you registered it. A pleading. 

She turned to you. “Guess that’s my cue. Call me.” Phoenix stood up, her tanned legs unfolding gracefully. As she crossed the room, her eyes lingered in Jake but his eyes were glued on you. He stood in the middle of the room until the sound of the door shutting rattled the wall. 

“How was your date?” you asked. 

“I told her about you and she walked out.” 

“You’re so dumb.” You shook your head. “Why on earth would you tell her that on a first date?” 

Jake rubbed his eyes furiously. “What the hell else am I supposed to say, Y/N? If I want to take a girl back to my place, you’re in the next room. In six months, there will be a baby in a crib in the apartment.” 

You stood up. “You’re the one who asked me to move in. Who begged me. And now you’re blaming your shitty sex life on me?” 

“I, fuck!” Jake tossed his hands up into the air. His face, normally so composed, was angry. He stepped forward and instinctively your hands fell to your stomach. He stopped, his eyes wide. “Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” he whispered, voice shaking. 

“I don’t know,” you replied softly. Was he going to hurt you? Was dating someone else hurting you, even if you said it was fine? Was staying out late, flirting with other women, hurting you? 

You’d be lying if you said no. 

His green eyes bore into yours. “I’m going to bed.” 

“Jake!” You called out after him but he was already halfway down the hallway. 

You were frozen in the living room as the sound of his bedroom door shutting filled the apartment. Without thinking, you padded down the hallway and flung open the door to his room. Jake whirled around, his chest bare, wearing just a pair of khakis. “Y/N,” he breathed out. “What are you–?” 

“Are you going to hurt me?” you whispered, stepping closer. 

“Never.” 

“Why did you tell her?” you whispered. 

“What?” 

“The girl. The date. Why did you tell her about me?” 

Jake hesitated. “I told you. If I wanted to bring her home –” 

You shook your head, interrupting him. “That’s not the real reason, is it?” You stepped closer, so only a whisper of space was between the two of you. 

“Y/N.” Jake’s voice was low and dark, it practically rumbled through your body. “What are you doing?” 

“Are you going to hurt me?” you repeated. 

“No.” 

“Do you want me to see other people?” 

“No.” It came out automatically. 

“Why not?” 

“Because.” His breath was warm and smelled like beer but you knew without a shadow of a doubt he was stone cold sober. “Because you’re carrying my child.” 

“That’s it?” you asked. “That’s the only reason.” The room was dark and heady. You could feel your pulse racing. 

“You think I want other men touching you?” he whispered. “Putting their hands on your stomach, feeling our baby when I've never even felt our baby move?” 

You reached out, taking one of his hands in his, your other hand easing up the edge of your sweatshirt. Jake sucked in a breath at the curve of your lower stomach as you pressed his fingertips below your belly button. In the slim sliver of moonlight, you watched his tanned, large hand hold on. “It’s too early,” you whispered. “To feel anything.” You looked up. 

Jake was silent, his eyes glued to your stomach, his fingertips warm against your stretched skin. 

“I’m asking you,” you said quietly, “not to hurt me.” 

Jake pulled his hand away, but you could still feel the heat of his skin on yours. “That’s the last thing I’m going to do.” 

You stepped back. Any closer and you would throw yourself into Jake’s arms. You wanted nothing more than to feel his strong arms wrap around your body, pull you in tightly. Feel the whisper of his lips against yours. 

But for your sanity, you stepped back, into the door frame. Let the moonlight slip from Jake’s face until he was plunged into darkness. 

“Goodnight,” you whispered. 

Even in the darkness, you could picture his frown. “Goodnight.” 

***

“Tell me everything.”

Bob blushed and you nudged his arm with your elbow. Across the table, Phoenix grinned. “Tell her, Floyd.” 

“Her name is Sena,” he replied quietly. “We met on Hinge.” 

You squealed. Across the table, Bradley covered his ears while Phoenix cackled. 

Bob patted your hand. “Ducky, please.” 

“Tell me more,” you begged. 

He dipped his head. “She’s pretty.” 

“She’s fucking hot,” Phoenix corrected. 

“She’s beautiful,” Bob countered and you watched the way his eyes lit up. “She’s a pharmacist. Her family is from Mexico and she likes to surf.” 

“So she’s hot,” you said, leaning back and giggling. “Bobby, I’m happy. Are you happy?” 

“I’m happy.” 

“Why are we so happy?” Jake slid into the spot next to you on the bench, his thigh grazing yours for a second and you felt a flutter in your stomach. Jitters. 

“Bobby here has a girlfriend,” you said proudly.

Jake’s jaw dropped. “Shut up.” 

“OK Regina George,” Phoenix countered and the group laughed. 

“Bring her around sometime, Floyd,” Jake said. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

You swatted at him playfully. “Don’t tease him.” 

Jake caught your hand for a moment mid-air and the two of you paused, your eyes locked. And then Rooster coughed and your hand fell. You turned back to Bob whose blue eyes were watching you carefully. 

“Bring her around, though,” you said. “Please, Bobby? I want to meet her.” 

He took your hand and squeezed. “OK, Duck. You can meet her.” 

***

“A bar, really?” You frowned at the text on your phone. Bob and his new girlfriend were already at The Hard Deck with Phoenix and Coyote. You grunted and tugged at your dress, too tight around the middle. “I look fat,” you muttered to yourself. 

“You’re pregnant.” Jake hovered in the doorway and you turned. 

“I just look like I ate twelve donuts.” 

“You look beautiful.” 

“Shut up.” 

He shook his head. “No.” 

“I should change.” 

Jake grinned. “Should I sit down or is it not that kind of show?” 

You rolled your eyes. “Wait in the living room, I’ll be five minutes.” 

“I grew up with sisters, it’s never five minutes.” His voice trailed off as he meandered down the hallway. Twenty minutes later, you hated that he was right, you emerged in the living room wearing a flowing dress and your hair swept up, a pair of earrings dangling toward your collarbone. Jake stood up and patted down the legs of his jeans. “You look perfect.” 

“Are you sure?” you asked nervously. “I can go change, and–” 

“Woman.” He stepped forward and grabbed your arm lightly. “No more changing. We’re late as it is.” 

“Did you just call me woman?” 

Jake opened the door to his truck, shaking his head. “Hop in. Please.” 

The ride to the bar was largely silent, punctuated by Jake asking you what radio station you wanted and how you were feeling. By the time you pulled up to the bar, you could sense something was off. “Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?” 

“What?” He cut the engine. 

“You’re acting weird.” 

“I’m literally not saying anything.”

“That’s what’s weird!” 

“There’s no winning with you, sweetheart.” 

“Ugh there you go again with the nicknames.” 

“Jesus.” He flung open his door and stomped out. You struggled to chase after him, practically wobbling to catch up with him in the gravel parking lot. 

“Jake!” He whipped around as your fingertips closed around his bicep. “What’s the matter with you?” 

“You think it’s easy?” he asked. “Seeing you looking like that walking into a place like this?” 

You frowned. “I’m pregnant. No one is looking at me.” 

“Everyone is looking at you,” he whispered hotly. “You don’t look pregnant at all in that outfit. You look fucking gorgeous and I guarantee that every single guy in there is going to try to buy you a drink.” 

“Well I can’t drink,” you spat back. “So unless they want to buy me a ginger ale they can fuck off.” 

“I better not see anyone touching you.” 

“Well then you better keep your eyes peeled.” You shook your head. “I’m going to find Bobby.” 

The bar was crowded and you had to weave your way through sweaty bodies to get to the back. Just as one elbow was about to shoot out and smash you in the face, a hand pulled you back and you felt your back press against a hard chest, Jake’s fingertips smoothing over your side. “Watch out,” he hissed at the guy with the curveball elbow. “You almost hit her in the face.” 

“Sorry dude.” The guy barely shifted and Jake shoved him out of the way, using his forearm as a shield to protect you from the masses until the two of you were birthed out of the crowd into the back of the room. 

Bob stood up immediately and you stepped closer to him, Jake’s hand falling from your side. “Ducky,” he said and you tossed your arms around his neck, inhaling his familiar scent. “This is Sena. Sena, this is my little sister Y/N.” 

She held out one hand. “Hi, so nice to meet you! Bobby has told me so much about you.” 

Sena was way cuter than Bob had described. Tall and lithe, with beautiful tanned skin and shiny dark hair that fell past her shoulders with a slight wave. She had a stack of gold bracelets on one arm, and was wearing a pair of shorts and a crop top, a taunt section of skin showing a tattoo curved around her side that you couldn’t quite make out. You grinned. “Nice to meet you, too.” 

“Here, sit.” Bob pulled out a chair and you settled in. You turned, expecting Jake to be right behind you, but he disappeared into the crowd. Instead, you shook your head and turned to Sena. 

“So tell me everything,” you said and Bob shook his head with a sigh. “Let’s start with your biggest icks about my brother.” 

She laughed and you sat and listened as she waxed poetic about Bobby. There was an air about them, you noticed it instantly. The way her hand floated to his thigh, how he would smile at her when she spoke. A spark. Something deep inside of you panged with jealousy, and happiness. 

After a while, once the conversation had flipped to Bradley, you swiveled around and squinted. Jake still hadn’t come back to the table. It had been at least forty minutes since the two of you had arrived. 

You stood up and Bob looked up, eyes wide. “Have to pee,” you said and he nodded. You weaved through the crowd, now thinning on the edges, toward the long hallway in the back. 

But as you rounded the corner, your breath caught. 

Jake, with one hand pressed against the wood wall, leaning over a short redhead, her doe eyes trained on him, his free hand tipping her chin up toward him. You watched, mouth agape, as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. 

You turned and fled, before he could see you. Even if it meant peeing your pants. You would pee in the sand, for all you cared. Anything to get away from Jake Seresin in that moment. 

Please follow my library page @ereardonlibrary as that will largely serve as my tag list. Anyone I previous promised to tag is here:

@blue-aconite @withahappyrefrain @wkndwlff @mamachasesmayhem @djs8891 @clancycucumber230 @gigisimsonmars @xomrsalliej4787xo @myfaveficrecs @mycobrakai1972 @sio-ina-bottle @joaquinwhorres @justanothermagicalsara @je-suis-prest-rachel @shanimallina87

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[midnightstargazer]

In OotP, when Regulus is first mentioned, this is how he's introduced:

"He was younger than me," said Sirius, "and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded."

The juxtaposition of those two things - younger and a better son - stands out because the Blacks are such an old-fashioned family. Sirius and Regulus seem like a typical "heir and a spare" situation, so for the spare to be a "better son" than the heir is a big deal.

In DH, when Harry visits the top floor of Grimmauld Place, one thing he notices is that Sirius had the larger bedroom. To me, this suggests that, at least when they were young children, their parents showed more favoritism to Sirius. He was, after all, the oldest and the heir. Given that Bellatrix and Walburga didn't have quiet, passive temperaments either, I doubt his personality would be seen as a problem until he ended up in Gryffindor, befriending the wrong people and rejecting everything the family stood for.

Regulus's more dutiful and obedient attitude was no doubt something they appreciated once Sirius really started rebelling, and it's easy to imagine them pitting their sons against each other: look at your brother, he's in the right house, he's rarely ever in detention, he's got friends we approve of - why can't you be like him? But still, they didn't disown Sirius until he ran away at sixteen. This suggests to me that any favoritism towards Regulus was, at least at first, an attempt to bring Sirius back into line and get him to behave the way they expected.

Even after Sirius ran away, they kept his room exactly as it was. Even if everything on the walls was attached with a permanent sticking charm, it shouldn't have been too difficult to cover it up. Furniture and personal items could certainly be gotten rid of. The fact that the room was still pretty much untouched tells me they kept holding out hope he might come back.

However, I do think that things would have changed for Regulus after Sirius was Sorted into Gryffindor and after he ran away. In both cases, there would have been more pressure on him to live up to the family's expectations. The impression we're given of Regulus in the books is of someone who didn't really think for himself and was very proud of his conformity. It seems reasonable to me that that would have come from growing up with an older brother who constantly defied their parents and, as a result, had lost their favoritism. And knowing, of course, that their love for him was just as conditional.

(That's not me saying he was forced into anything. I actually don't think Orion and Walburga would have forced either of their sons to join the Death Eaters. But I do think Regulus felt he had something to prove, was taught basically the same ideology at home, and was therefore easier to radicalize. And I think that feeling of having something to prove probably came, at least in part, from watching Sirius go from favorite son and heir to scapegoat to disowned.)

Both brothers, I think, ended up living very different lives than their family would've chosen for them. They would've been expected to marry pure-blood women and have kids, to support the blood purist ideology but not actually risk their lives for it, and either to live off their inherited wealth or to work in relatively safe, prestigious careers. So, in different ways, they both fell short.

I do think there was definitely a scapegoat and golden child dynamic, but I think it's a bit more complicated than that: changing favoritism through the years as it became more and more obvious that Sirius wouldn't fall into line with the family expectations, first to pit them against each other and then to cut Sirius off and replace him with Regulus.

[cheriladycl01]

Could you do fic for Checo Perez with wife reader? He had some insecurity about his abilities to race against the grid and she just hugged and comforted him. Add something else to it if you want to. Tag me later Thanks!! :))

The pressure is insane… - Sergio Perez x Wife! Reader

Plot: Checo replacing Alex was probably the best thing to happen to him in his Formula One career. However, so much pressure comes from being in that second Red Bull seat, not just the team but the fans too, and Checo doesn’t like the pressure on him.

When Checo came into the seat, and performance wasn’t great, people in the team told him it would be fine and to keep his head up because everyone knew he was getting used to how different the Red Bull Car is thanks to Max’s driving style.

But at it came to his second season, and it didn’t seem like things were improving much, Christian kept talking to him, explaining what was expected of him as if he hadn’t already informed him over 100 times.

He was just struggling with a car that was clearly built for their main driver, which is why Pierre crumbled under pressure and it’s why they couldn’t put up with Alex when he didn’t learn the car quick enough for them.

The gave Checo the benefit of the doubt throughout 2022, but when Red Bulls most dominant season came around it was without a doubt that your husband had to step up.

And in your eyes he had, getting two race wins under his belt, but he wasn’t consistent enough for Christian and it seemed that he wanted Checo to be actually challenging Max more.

It got worse when the Ferrari and McLaren started to beat him despite being in the worse car, and it was deemed a ‘driver issue’

Sergio felt awful, for a man who had been racing for as long as he had, he never felt doubtful of his abilities to put on a show and drive to the best of his ability.

But now, in the Red Bull seat, he actually understood the words ‘under pressure’ because he was under it constantly.

“Baby what’s wrong with you, you’ve been jittery all week” you ask your husband who was currently watching over some of his old races with a notepad.

“Hmmm?” He asks not even throwing a glance in your direction.

You knew he wasn’t listening.

“Well I just think that when aliens invade Earth that we should have a bunker ready and prepared so that you and I can help create a new civilisation after the government kill them all …” you say trying to grab a reaction from him.

“Hmmm yeah that’s really nice” he starts but then he looks up and his head cocks to the side as if his brain just processed the words you said. “Wait what?” He asks.

You chuckle and little bit happy to have his attention.

“I just wanted to see if you were listening, I asked what’s been up with you lately” you say softly, taking a seat next to him, reaching over to grab the remote and pause the race he was observing so his full attention was on you.

“Nothing wrong, I’m fine” he lies.

“Hermoso, we’ve been married for 6 years, I know when somethings up” you smile taking his hand into yours and kissing the back of it softly while watching for his reaction.

“I just … nevermind it’s stupid” he sighs looking down.

“None of your feelings are stupid baby, please let me in” you say calmly.

“I just feel like, I’m so singled out on the grid. You’ve got so many amazing drivers and then there’s me. Lewis is a 7x world champion, and and Max my own team mate has won 2, and he’s probably going to win this year by a landslide and then there’s Fernando again he has two championships, and then you’ve got all this new talent in Lando, and Charles and Carlos and now that Oscar is here, it’s getting tough” he admits and you softly smile at him.

“Where have all these doubts come from honey?” You ask, you knew he didn’t think he was the best driver, but he never once compared his abilities to individual drivers.

“Christian said that if I didn’t improve he’d replace me with Yuki, Liam or Daniel and that i might not even get a AlphaTauri seat as a replacement” he says putting his face in his hands with a soft sigh.

You pull him into a hug in which he nuzzles his head into your neck.

You are an incredible driver, there’s just such an insane amount of talent on the grid right now, you being one of them. World champion or not baby, your still one of only 20 drivers in the world that are here! Your a race winner and I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. You are incredible” you smile wrapping your arms around him while you feel him shake a little, presumably where he’s crying.

“Im just awful at it all. Driving, being a husband … you’ve been asking for a baby for 3 years and I keep telling you no because I’m so career focused but I can’t even seem to be good at that career” he complains and you almost laugh.

“Oh honey, I think you forget you are without a doubt the best thing that’s ever happened to me, child or no child. And where you aren’t ready because your at a point in your career that is crucial, I’ll always understand that darling. You are all I need, you are all I want. And I married you because I’m happy with you” you say tightening your hold on him.

“You know, I would never not be ready to have a kid. If you want one, we can have one. I’d never say no” he argues wiping his eyes and looking at you, only for you to release a breath of relief.

“Thank god, that night in Saudi Arabia really stuck” you admit and he cocks his head to the side not understanding. You take his hand and place it on your stomach, there wasn’t much of a bump, but a slight and minuscule weight gain was there. Enough that when he run his hand over your tummy he could feel it.

“Are you saying?” He asks and you nod.

“I know, I know it’s not the right time because your so stressed and I’ve been so nervous to tell you because I know you’ve had a lot on your plate since being in Red Bull and it was such a shock to me” you start to ramble thinking you should have waited.

“No this is the best news ever! This has made my day, my week, my year even!” He smiles before lifting you up and twirling you round.

“I love you” he says pulling you in for a kiss, happy with life.

And now he didn’t have anything to worry about, as long as he was able to provide for you and your child or children in the future he knew he could handle the pressure because now there was something else riding on it!

A/N: hey guys I didn’t realise tumblr only lets you do 50 tags per post! So I’m not sure what to do about taglist anymore? Any suggestions?

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[moonshynecybin]

i feel like maïna sent me an ask/prompt about. SOMETHING. like this for forced coming out au genuinely so long ago but i can’t find it for the life of me so perhaps i simply made that up. anyways here’s a short fic set in that universe about them dealing with the panopticon. and in fact being pda whores in the panopticon. bon apetit

“There’s a photographer over there,” Marc whispers in his ear, breath warm and close. He loops his arms around Vale’s neck as he says it, sounding nonchalant, but Vale knows him better than that by now, can see the tension tucked in his shoulders, hidden in the carefully collected smile on his face.

“Hmm.” He replies, amiably, nosing at Marc’s cheek. They’re in the paddock and they’re together— of course there’s a photographer on them. There’s probably seven photographers on them. Par for the course in years past, but especially these last couple of months.

And Vale’s always believed that if people are going to look, he might as well give them a show.

He lifts a hand and flips Marc’s cap off of his head, setting it down backwards so the brims of their hats arent competing. Marc’s face catches the sun, and Vale leans in to kiss where it hits the jut of his cheekbone because he can— because it’s what he would do, if they were actually together. If Marc was a girl. If any of this had happened the way it was supposed to, for people like them.

His stomach clenches, involuntary. He thinks he can hear the click of a camera firing. Good.

“Now he can see me.” Marc complains, leaning closer. He tries to hide behind Vale, using their height difference to squeeze himself into his shadow, and Vale laughs, tugging at where his hair is starting to curl behind his ears, where Marc’s skin is smooth and warm.

“It’s been a few weeks— We should probably give them something to see.”

“It has.” Marc agrees, sneaking his hands down now, snaking them inside Vale’s jacket and under his shirt. “We should.”

Vale yelps, curves his body inward reflexively. They’re like ice.

“That’s cold!” He pulls a face. Camera flash.

Marc ignores him, cackles an evil little laugh into the fabric of Vale’s shirt around his collarbone. Vale lets him, wraps an arm around his shoulders and leans back in, making sure Marc is the only one who can hear. It’s their preferred mode of communication these days— close, edging on the line of plausible deniability. His lips catch on the delicate skin of Marc’s temple as he speaks, and they’re in public, so it’s okay to keep them there.

“Karen from PR asked the next time we are available, so we can, ah, do another date.”

Just a few months ago this would all have felt like a minefield, but when he raises an eyebrow —a question— Marc just nods easily. Understanding without words. They’ve been getting good at this part, after everything, all the press and performance and years on track, years in each other’s beds. In MotoGP, you have to be adaptable, able to read another rider’s move, know how they’re going to take a corner almost before they do— and there’s a reason Marc and him are the best at what they do.

“We’re in Phillip Island next week— do you want to try out that place we went last year?” Marc responds, voice lower a little more reserved. His fingers edge under the elastic of Vale’s waistband. His hands must really be cold.

Vale nods, even as his chest clenches, resentment and something less empowering spiking through him. Last year. Right at the end. Phillip Island.

Not a good memory.

He lays a hand to Marc’s neck, thumb hitting the hinge of his jaw. Tilts him where he wants him. Marc goes— like he always does, moving easily with him, body pliable everywhere but the track. His brown eyes focus in on Vale’s face, intent. Unsettling, if you know how he catalogs information, if you know how what sort of instincts he has on the bike— shoving in beside Vale on track without a thought. Risking a bit more than Vale’s ever been able to comfortably stomach.

But Vale’s always thrived in high pressure situations, under attention, and the way Marc’s eyes laser on him only makes him settle. Makes him sharper. Clearer. Hot danger zipping under his collar, shivery and sweet. He wonders what Marc will let him do, out here in the middle of the paddock, with a photographer on them.

Marc’s hands flex, where they’re pressed under Vale’s shirt, like he can understand what Vale’s thinking, that same uncanny ability to predict a move rising to the surface. His nails scrape a little, dragging along the skin of Vale’s lower back.

“Let’s do that.” Vale says. He doesn’t really remember what were they talking about. A date, he thinks. Marc all to himself.

Alone.

The careful attention of Marc’s eyes drop to his mouth, then once, quick, over his shoulder. The photographer. Right.

The show.

“Okay,” Marc says, eyes searching Vale’s face, uncharacteristically serious. Contemplative. Like he’s thinking about something. Vale raises an an eyebrow, but before he can say anything the look on Marc’s face condenses, and he leans up to kiss Vale sweetly, open and a little messy.

And this has always been the thing that’s worked most between them. Easy and magnetic. The push and pull. The perfect picture.

And then Marc’s pushing forward, deeper, licking into Vale’s mouth. Kiss skewing dirty, dirtier than they usually get nowadays, making Vale’s pulse jump— a dare. How far are you willing to go? it asks, that same impudent instinct he has when he’s diving up the inside of Vale’s race line coloring the kiss, and Vale answers.

His teeth bite at Marc’s bottom lip, exercising a little more control, and he crowds forward, using his height to push Marc’s head back, hand splayed on the edge of his jaw. Directing him, coaxing him. And Marc relaxes like that, back arching into Vale as the kiss extends. A surrender.

Vale’s got him where he wants him, and he doesn’t want to leave. He wants to lift a thigh, get Marc pressed up high and tight against him, wants to drag him off to his motorhome, see how far Marc is willing to let him go, wants to—

Another camera shutters, louder, closer, and it breaks the thread between them, bringing them back to reality. To why they’re here. Vale clears his throat, and Marc ducks his head.

Suddenly Vale’s chest hurts, feels cracked open with Marc tucked up against him, nose edging inside his jacket to find some warmth against Vale’s collarbone. So solid and warm and real. The only way Vale gets to hold him anymore is like this, for the cameras.

Love you, he lets himself think, probably for the first time. Love you, he doesn’t say. The camera shutters, and he pulls Marc closer into the well of his body.

[mitraoki]

Um I’m not sure how many characters you take but can you please do jealousy HCs for Nanami, Sukuna, Toji, and Gojo? Thank you Mun ☺️

when they're jealous. (jjk x gn! reader)

note; hi hi anon!!!! thank you so much for requesting!!❤️❤️sorry i didn't specify how many characters you can request for, but it's all good!!! already updated the rules for better reference. for now i'll only work on three, and when i'm more confident i'll begin writing for toji <3 hope you understand!!🥺 have a good day/night🥰

yes requests are open! thank you all for the love and support so far!!!

cw; slightly suggestive! sukuna being sukuna

masterlist.

nanami kento

+ nanami trusts you a lot actually; if he's going to be in a long-term relationship with you, he needs to be able to trust your judgements and decision-making in any trivial or personal matters. i feel like he desires to be able to have open and honest communications with you. it's not because he's extremely insecure either; he tends to be blunt with his actions as we already know. 

+ he's the ultimate silent jealous type. his fingers rap against the table quickly. his eye twitches a little. he straightens his posture. he doesn't want to go in guns blazing because you haven't showed any signs of discomfort yet. he keeps yelling at himself to trust you but OH MY GOD he CANNOT STAND the fact that someone else is standing inches away from you. you seemed to be leaning further back, and that was his last straw.

+ a familiar hand settles around your waist. you hadn't realized that your shoulders tensed up for so long until you felt your boyfriend's half embrace around you. the slight panic slowly dispersed when you  when you whiffed the addictive scent coming from the figure next to you. nanami grazed his lips lightly against your ear as he asked, 'want me to show you around? just you and me, of course.

+ now the situation has different ways to end up in - either the person he subtly glared at understands the context and backs up before they get questioned, or this person tries to gain your attention once again, which might result in his blood boiling further.

+ he's more than willing to vouch for you if you feel a little insecure at that moment. probably something along the lines of, 'i think we're done here.' i can also see a scenario where he makes sure you're away from the person, and then he puts them in their place. 'i'm letting you off this time. but do anything to my partner and this would not be the last time we'd meet.'

+ but say if you tell the person to back off, his heart is doing loop de loops. he is on the floor. on his knees. melting into a marshmallow as we speak. he's so in love with you.

+ 'were you jealous, 'nami?' 'oh i just happened to catch them messing with you.' try as much as you can and he will never admit it <3

gojo satoru

+ where do i even begin with this man.

+ being with gojo already means dealing with his fame frequently, and having him as your boyfriend is - you can say - pretty challenging. though he ensures you don't have to feel the pressure he undergoes too. he wants you to understand that he did end up being with you for so many reasons. 

+ you feel like home to him. sure he's been around, trying to find someone he could date, but to have ended up with you made him feel content. when he's around you, he does not have to put up any kind of facade to make you happy. he doesn't have to use his abilities in front of you, he doesn't feel like he's being used as a weapon either. 'only you've seen the weakest parts of the strongest jujutsu sorcerer,' he has claimed once. having all of that said, this man does NOT shut up about you. he talks about you to anyone he can find. his students 100% have heard so many stories about you already, trust me.

+ gojo is. the cocky (?) kind of jealous. THIS man would go in guns blazing, either bluntly or indirectly, no in between. he executes it perfectly too; so that you wouldn't be annoyed LMAO

+ LITERALLY anyone can make him feel like his guts are churning. when you're cuddling animals and he's praying he could be cuddled the same way too (he loves being small spoon). kids huddle around you and he wishes he could be a kid all over again. his mouth is foaming with envy. gojo is feral. the first time you've seen him spring into action was when this person cannot leave you alone for a goddamn second. they kept trying to grab your hand, which you couldn't tolerate.

+ without any warning, gojo just swoops in between you two, kissing you long and hard. 'ravishing as ever, my love,' he chuckled, pulling away. 'is that my favorite flavor?' he asked, pressing his lips together.

+ 'mm. it is. now, where were we...?' he whips his head to face the person bothering you earlier. he MAKES SURE he has his arms around you before saying, 'should i introduce you to my partner? oh. hate to break it to ya, but they're taken. try again, buddy.'

+ enjoys it if you ever did the same with anyone who's trying to hit on him too. would definitely make out with you after (/▽＼)

ryomen sukuna

+ extremely, aggressively, would kill someone for you type of jealous. sukuna is not afraid to admit that to you, or anyone around him. he finds it fun too - having you all to himself and no one else.  the possessiveness and power he holds is undefeatable. yuuji just wonders how did he manage to get you at this point -

+ this type of behavior probably originates from the time where he had a lover, but they were taken away from him too soon. fearing for the worst, he's gonna do everything he can to keep you safe. i feel like despite you reassuring him nothing of that sort would happen, he will continue to do what he knows is right - protecting you. he loves aggressively. that's how he has always seen it. in his dreams he's sitting on his throne, cradling you, keeping you close to his chest. a solemn oath to not let anyone take him away from you.

+ before he had learnt (from you) to trust you more, there was a time where he realized how annoyingly close a sorcerer was to you. surely you didn't plan on cheating on him with someone like that, right? 

+ with the rage fueling up within him, he was practically teleporting to where the two of you were standing. seconds before he was about to rip the person's head away from their body, you screamed, grabbing his hand. 'what do you think you're doing?!!'

+ 'what? i'm not gonna let some whiny punk take you. you really think i'm not up to your standards?' he looked over to the person in his clutches. 'you have some nerve, thinking you're better than me.' huffing, you exclaimed, 'sukuna. they meant no harm, and i already told them off. before things here get ugly, let them go NOW.' 

+ you think this man felt guilty? no. dropping the person on the ground, he walked up to you. 'they tried to reel you in, didn't they? you really think i'm gonna shut up about that?! what happened to-,'

+ 'god, LISTEN! yes they were. what do you think i told them, sukuna?' your hands landed on his chest, pushing him away. 'oh,' he first said, followed by a longer 'ohhhh'. smirking, he inched closer to you. you could feel his nails digging through your fabric and you could've sworn they left holes (to which he didn't, he just loved holding you tight). 'told 'em i was yours, huh.'

+ '....don't you dare try and chop heads off just because they were trying to ask me out. i'm not that naive,' you looked away. of course this man knows when to make you feel all giddy when you didn't need to. 'you hear me, ryomen sukuna?'

all created content belongs to mitraoki. reposts/remakes are not allowed.

[random-things-of-mine]

𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

Rainbow Factory Wally x GN Reader

- - - - -

"Don't touch any of the machines, there are camera's everywhere. If you still do I will know about it."

Rainbow stated, already regretting to give his alternative versions a tour in his factory.

"And stop bothering my personal assistant, I need them to focus on their job."

Y/n turned to face him, trying to give him reassuring look.

"They aren't that distracting, I can multi task just just fine.”

"You don't look half bad in that labcoat, better than your boss over there." Opposite mumbled.

"Oh thank you-" Y/n heard him and tried be polite.

"I wasn't complimenting you, geez no need to smile."

"Hmm sure."

His face was slightly flushed as he acted all defensively while they just calmly stared at him.

"I think you would look even better without it~" Lovesick joined the conversation, the tone in his voice was very flirty.

"To bad, the labcoats are mandatory." Y/n laughed, seeing no harm in comment.

They where about to say something else but another one of the bunch was already trying to get their attention.

"Get your grabby hands away from that-"

"You are no fun!"

Rainbow was restraining Opposite from mixing different vials with colors together. Wasting the substances as he had no clue on how the techniques they normally used here.

"My sincere apologies but it seems like three members of our group have disappeared...." Royal said apologetically.

Mob had sneaked away to rob the factory cafeteria snacks. His presence intimidating the poor staff.

Actor went out of his way to give out authographs of himself. Also trying to demand- convince everyone to watch his show.

Original had accidentally gotten separated from the group and gotten lost. He was crying somewhere in random hallway.

"We have a sick patiënt here, we might need to head to the infirmary." Priest added, as he pointed at Lovesick who had black substance leaking from his mouth and eyes, leaving stains everywhere.

So all in all things wheren't going that smoothly.

Rainbow looked like he was about to snap, Y/n took his hand leading him away to empty room.

"I shall ban all of them permanently from setting foot again on my property."

"Boss, you are clearly stressed out, let me handle this."

He looked at them, the cold look in his eyes became a bit softer, a bit more caring.

"No, you shouldn't concern yourself with them. Those idiots are my responsibility, not yours."

"But I want to help you, now sit and relax. Imma bring those puppets in line."

He felt his lips slighty curl up into a amused smile.

He had seen them tackle down escaping test subjects and using the grinder to drain color from bodies. Now he thought about it, this might actually be to easy for them.

"You get twenty minutes to get them all in my office."

"I’ll do it in fifteen if you take me out on to a nice restaurant of my choice and you'll be paying for everything."

Rainbow knew they would purposely pick a really fancy and pricy place to drain his funds. He stared at his watch, contemplating. Y/n waited for his anwser, looking at him challenging him to agree or they would call him a scared chicken to his face.

"You get ten minutes, or else we are splitting the costs."

"Deal!"

"Ah free food~ Nothing I love more in this world." Y/n smiled, letting out a exaggerated sigh.

"I can't believe they charge such a ridiculous amount of money for a simple salad." Rainbow grumpily remarked as he stared at the menu card.

The assistant stared at their boss, happy he took the time to dress up for the occasion, it almost felt like a date.

"If you wanted to hold my hand you could've just asked." They giggled, feigning innocence as his prosthetic was placed on top of their hand (having moved it themselves as he wasn't paying attention).

"I don't recall leaving my hand in that position... someone is in a cheeky mood I see." He said, now putting pressure onto the weight of his arm, trapping their hand under his one.

"Hey! I still need that arm to eat."

"That's to bad, afterall I just wanted to hold your hand so badly." He said mockingly.

Y/n tried to get free but their attempts where in vain, now they couldn't properly eat as they had terrible coordination skills with their other hand.

Rainbow smiled maliciously as he held up a spoonfull of food for them. He used his own free hand to hold it out for them to eat from.

"You seem to be struggling, let me help you."

"I don't want to be spoonfed, I'm not a kid (you wheren't Ophelia ���) !"

"Should've thought about that earlier, I don't intend on letting go of your arm now. So accept my offer here or starve."

"Can you at least give me something tasty, I don't want your salad. Unlike you I'm not on a diet."

Rainbow shoved the spoonful of his healthy nutritious meal into Y/n's mouth, deaf to their protests and complaints.

- - - - -

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi (Bleach) -Oneshot

You weren't certain how you got so unlucky. Ichigo always told you that this captain was a psycho. You should have taken it more seriously. Because when you discovered your abilities, the Head captain assured you that they would be able to help to avoid another breakdown like you had in the world of the living.

Splitting a building in half.

You were scared. Terrified that you would hurt someone. You'd gotten lucky that the structure was abandoned, but the next time you wouldn't be as fortunate. So here you were, in the soul society, hiding.

"I just need to make it to Rukia, then she can open that freaking portal and get me out of here."

You had one meeting with Mayuri Kurotsuchi and that was enough. He went on a tangent about all the experiments he wanted to conduct and it became clear that he had no interest in helping you hone your skills.

"There she is Nemu."

You flinched from your spot behind the wall. You weren't even offered a chance to run.

"W-Wait!!"

"Knock her out."

With a swift tap to the back of your head, your vision faded.

~~

"Such bothersome creatures, humans."

You were laying on the table and Mayuri moved closer, holding the needle.

"Master, if you'd explained to her that we were actually trying to help she might have been more willing."

Mayuri just grinned.

"Everything I do has a purpose. Powers such as hers are typically more prominent when she's in fear. I was merely checking to see if I could urge a fraction of that energy. I was right. You saw it didn't you?"

Nemu nods.

"Yes master, her reiatsu is quite raw. Humans in the world of the living are quite unique."

"Indeed they are. I will enjoy this."

He pressed the needle into your skin, watching the liquid slide beneath your skin as he stepped away.

"Now we wait until she wakes up. You're dismissed."

"Yes master." Nemu bowed, walking away.

Mayuri's gaze moved back to your form. You shifted against the table, and his eyes narrowed.

"Is she waking already?"

You should have been asleep for at least another hour, especially with what he'd just administered into your bloodstream. He placed the needle down, moving closer. Your eyes opened lazily, and Mayuri just folded his arms.

"How unusual, you're already awake."

It took a moment for you to gather your bearings, but when you did, your eyes shot open. You jolted upright.

"What the hell did you-"

Your statement dropped at the end, and your body disappeared. Mayuri grinned, and you staggered when you reappeared a distance away, eyes shaking in shock. You straightened, and Mayuri just watched you proudly. Your eyes drifted to your hands.

"W-What just happened..."

"I believe I fixed your problem."

You just stared at him. Because although he'd literally kidnapped you and possibly slipped some crazy evil genius serum in your veins, you couldn't deny that something felt different. It all felt lighter, like you'd dropped some heavy weight.

"Would you like to learn more?"

His grin was wide, because you knew he could see your eagerness to understand what happened. He would no doubt put you through some crazy trails, but your curiosity was brimming. You needed to know.

"I do."

Exactly what he wanted to hear.

~Four Months Later~

"WHAT THE HELL MAYURI!!"

You were being chased by a hollow and Mayuri just watched.

"I told you that your reiatsu was growing. You should never let your guard down."

"NO SHIT!!"

You spun around, clenching your fist. When it jumped at you, your legs grounded and you fired a punch. The base of your hand connected with its mask and the shockwave of energy caved the hollow's mask in, sending a rush of wind that batted against the trees present. The hollow disintegrated almost instantly as the wind began to level out.

You huffed.

"Impressive, your spiritual pressure has grown quite a lot. Your abilities are still very sloppy, but there is always room for improvement."

A vein popped on your head at the statement.

"I'LL SHOW YOU SLOPPY!!"

This was nothing new.

Mayuri made you his little lap dog. Always testing out his crazy theories on you. The first time you mastered flash step, he'd failed to tell you that you were close to the Kuchiki clan's residence. So when you landed in Byakuya's koi pond and killed some of his precious fish, it's safe to say that you'd spent that night in the fourth squad barracks getting healed by Hanataro.

He was a menace to society. An effortless genius, but a bastard. After your outburst, you'd left and headed to hang out with Nemu and her little association. She was having tea with some of the other female reapers.

"Then he says that I'm sloppy, do you believe that!!"

Okay, so maybe you just came to vent.

Rangiku laughs.

"That does sound like him."

You sighed heavily.

"I just wish he'd help me without it always turning into me ending up with a dozen bruises. Is that too much to ask?"

" I understand you might be skeptical, but Master must have faith in your abilities."

You snort.

"Like if, he just enjoys having me around to mess with." You grumbled.

Nemu wore a smile.

"Master has never taken interest in anyone who wasn't on some level important. Especially humans. In his eyes, there is worth. It may not seem like it, and he will never say it, but to him, you matter."

The statement was not what you were expecting.

You didn't want to talk about it further, so you grabbed a cup of tea and downed it like alcohol as Yachiru cheered in the background.

As you were making your way back after hours of venting, her words still wouldn't leave you.

That's why when you headed to his barracks, it was just a distraction. Your trips to the soul society were usually you hanging out with Mayuri and ending up in some kind of crazy situation.

Although that was the truth, you could have walked away at any time. You didn't have to keep coming back.

"So why do I.."

You couldn't answer the question.

"He will never say it, but to him, you matter."

You blushed as the words played back.

"I-IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE HIM OR ANYTHING!!"

"Quit your yelling."

The nonchalant voice was expected. You hadn't even realized that you walked into his personal lab.

The blue haired male standing before you was not who you expected to see.

"W-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!"

"Would you seize the yelling."

His voice sounds agitated and you just pointed dumbly, because you knew that voice.

"M-M-Mayuri!!"

He ran a hand through his hair, disinterested.

"Who else would it be? Do you think I would let some stranger into my personal space to exploit my discoveries? I'd quicker dissect them."

A creepy smile grew on his face and you sweatdropped.

"Yep, that's definitely him."

It took you a moment to realize his hair was dripping, as if he just came out of the shower. He was moving around the room casually, yet you still kept your distance.

This was weird.

Your silence must have finally drawn his attention, because he turned to you, and your face heated up.

"Why are you suddenly so quiet?"

"N-No reason!!"

You waved frantically.

He didn't seem to buy that. With one step, he was standing right in front of you.

Mayuri leaned slightly to match your height, wearing that know it all grin.

"Did you fall in love with this face?"

"T-THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!"

His stupid smirk didn't leave, and all you wanted to do at that moment was punch him if nothing but to stop your embarrassment. His hand slid behind your neck, and you meant to question it, but his lips were suddenly pressed to your own, and all you could do was gape like a fish. His sapphire tresses tickled your forehead, and you couldn't help but take in the scent of his wash. It was almost intoxicating.

His tongue drifted over your lips teasingly and you couldn't stop the sound that escaped. Mayuri pulled back, tauntingly. Enjoying the dazed look in your eyes.

"You're transparent, (Y/N)."

You swallowed. Because during the entirety of your partnership, he'd never called you by your name. Nor has he ever looked at you like that.

"Nemu was right.."

It seems you've gained the attention of this crazy genius. You weren't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

[becomingpart2]

e https://impalementation.tumblr.com/post/188475654600/if-youre-still-taking-asks-you-mentioned-you-had hi, if you mind reading i link this to you

Okay, so I'm finally responding to this ask lol. Sorry for the wait.

I understand what this person is saying and I'm not going to go into every point because that's their interpretation. There's nothing to be discussed in how someone chooses to see symbolism because that's abstract and subjective.

What I am going to address is this:

"the point of seeing red is that buffy is capable of growing past that instability, is capable of saying no and meaning it"

Buffy had already been saying no before Seeing Red. She had been saying "no" from the beginning but even if we want to argue that the consent was left "ambiguous" in most of their encounters, Buffy had already reached that moment in her arc that OP mentions before Seeing Red. Buffy ends her "relationship" with spike several episodes earlier in As You Were.

Spike was the one who, as usually, wouldn't quit, wouldn't leave her alove. He insisted with her and bitched about it in the subsequent episodes, he even hooks up with Anya after she's left at the altar by Xander in a very deliberate "rebound" move from both of them where they're both kinda like "fuck our exes". So yeah I think he understood what Buffy meant and, most importantly, Buffy had already moved past that "uncertainity" and instability phase, she was making her decisions and sticking with them. It was Spike the one who couldn't/wouldn't accept what she decided. Who would follow her around and try to pressure her into budging, trying to make her doubt herself again. He was the one who pushed the situation to get to the point it got in Seeing Red, it had already ended as far as Buffy was concerned.

"with that in mind, i see buffy loving spike by the last episode actually as a matter of her loving herself [...] i see buffy’s advocacy re: spike throughout s7 as a direct, deliberate reversal of how she treated him in s6. just as she was determined to see him (read: herself) as a thing in s6, she is determined to see spike in s7 as deserving of forgiveness, as not a thing."

Like I said, I won't discuss whether this person is right or wrong for seeing spike as "the id" of the show (I think you could argue that for all vampires in the show, spike is just the one who stays the longest but his behaviour is not any different from any other soulless vampire when it comes to the common traits usually pointed out but anyway). So yeah I won't discuss whether that's right or wrong because that's their interpretation.

Because of that, I can understand why someone who sees Spike as the representation of Buffy's repressed id (something that could also be argued about Faith, which to me holds a bit more water since she's also a slayer) would say that her treatment of Spike in S6 and S7 mirrors how she sees herself. I can understand why someone would think that if that's how they see Spike's role in the show.

The issue with this interpretation and the subsequent defense of S7 is that it engages in abuse apologism because of the way that it whitewashes Spike's actions to merely being a reflection of Buffy's feelings. Similarly to the point made about the ambiguous consent of their relationship earlier, it places a responsibility on Buffy's shoulders for failings that are entirely Spike's. Buffy being depressed and feeling shitty about herself does not grant permission for another person (monster or not) to abuse her. It does not give permission for another person to take advantage of her vulnerable state. And that is true to any person, whether they're a superhero like Buffy or not. Someone being in a really low point of their life, struggling with their self-worth is not an open invitation for others to take advantage and it's not their fault if someone does it.

I understand that Buffy might have felt like she needed to forgive herself for how she acted in S6 but the truth is that she didn't do anything wrong. By choosing this line of defense of how S7 handled the lack of acknowledgement of the abuse in S6, you're implying that Buffy did something wrong that she needed to forgive herself for. And she didn't. Buffy could have an arc about "forgiving herself" without the show brushing off what happened, without leaving what happened between them in this ambiguous place where no one was at fault and because of that implying that both of them were. Because they weren't equally at fault. Even worse, this interpretation heavily suggests that what happened was actually entirely Buffy's fault - if only she wasn't so repressed, if only she was more at peace with her id, she wouldn't have fallen in a self-destructive path that would lead to "monsters" like Spike, who just don't know any better, taking advantage of her and hurting her.

[janeyshivers]

how Mobile Suit Gundam SEED and SEED Destiny misunderstands eugenics (and how 0079, Zeta, and ZZ nailed it)

(note; unless i specify otherwise, i'm using 'Gundam SEED' as a catch-all for the combined 100 episode run of both Cosmic Era shows)

Gundam SEED is built around the idea of genetic modification on steroids, where huge populations of Coordinators (Spacenoid stand-ins, living in the Cosmic Era's equivalent of the Sides, the PLANTs) are genetically modified in-vitro to be immune to disease, to be stronger, smarter, and kind of better at everything than unmodified Naturals (Earthnoid stand-ins who are just normal-ass Earth people). i feel like this core setup, and the way the show handles it, falls into the trap of treating the arguments of eugenicists seriously, when there's absolutely no reason to give them an inch on anything, something that the early UC understood all too well.

for one thing, Gundam SEED fails to actually address any of the really pertinent questions gene therapy raises, especially since SEED doesn't just feature genetic engineering as a plot device like G-Witch and ZZ, it bases an entire faction around its use and makes it the driving force of the show's core conflict. the show does not, for example, broach the extremely thorny topic of how genetic modification will affect the marginalised. many current pushes for genetic modification are pushed by insane eugenics groups, and the show never addresses whether, for example, the PLANTs try to gene edit out autism, or screen for any kind of genetic markers for being gay or trans. it doesn't ask whether there is any validity to the search for genetic explanations for these things, as contemporary eugenics organisations such as Autism Speaks insist. would non-white Coordinator parents be pressured to bump their kid's skin up a couple of shades to reduce the impact of racism and colourism on their lives? we see from the forced-labour camps the Alliance sets up in North Africa during Destiny that the CE is a world where racism is still very much a cultural force, and yet SEED never addresses how that interacts with Coordinators, despite a lot of the roots of modern genetic research (undoubtedly something that has led to a lot of positive medical advances) nonetheless lying in the 'scientific racism' of the early 20th century. an unfavourable reading might even point out that since we never see any of this stuff addressed or treated as a problem (for example, we don't meet any queer or neurodivergent Coordinators), SEED accepts that these are indeed qualities for which there are genetic markers, and it's not worth examining that the PLANTs bin them. that is a slightly unfair reading because the lack of those kinds of characters among Naturals suggest it just wasn't something the writers felt they could include for whatever reason, but then I would argue that if you're not able to address these things then you have no business writing a science fiction story where an entire core culture is built around genetic modification in the first place.

i'm not arguing that any stories about genetic modification are, by definition, eugenicist; G-Witch features it in the form of Suletta herself, and Notrette's patented brand of Tasty Tomatoes. the difference is that the show doesn't feature an entire society built from the ground-up around genetic engineering, which makes the comparisons to fascists less immediate, and even then G-Witch takes the time to address that Suletta herself feels like her only value is as a tool, precisely because she was genetically engineered to fulfil a specific purpose. it comes closer to grappling with the real dark side of these ideas in a 25 episode run than SEED did in 100.

instead, the framing of genetic modification in SEED as creating people who are, unambiguously, better at absolutely everything, and whose main obstacle is jealousy from unmodified people, accepts at face value the premise that to be superior due to your genetics is possible. by doing this, and also ignoring any of the real concerns marginalised people had at the time, and continue to have to this day about the possible uses of genetic modification, the show comes off as validating eugenicists. while SEED hedges on the details, i would argue that by accepting this as a basic premise to begin with, the show has already validated an extremely noxious worldview.

that being said, the Coordinators do experience significant problems with fertility, with birthrates collapsing in the third generation and requiring interbreeding with Naturals to sustain their population. the show does not assert that genetic modification makes the Coordinators into flawless ubermensch, and clumsily attempts to argue for a middle ground between fascistic genetic purity and a degree of equality between Naturals and Coordinators. imo the issues the PLANTs end up having is because SEED isn't like, actively trying to write a treatise on why eugenics is good, instead, the writers chose a hot-button issue to address and then badly fumbled it, in the process treating seriously and partially validating ideas that are in the real world just a flimsy cover for racial hatred and other bigotries. to my mind, it's saying that eugenics works to a point and then starts to break down, but i think the idea that it can work up to any kind of point is giving it a lot more credit than it really deserves.

my core frustrations with that are a) that SEED is actually pretty good when it shunts that stuff into the background, e.g. in the first half of Destiny, and it's frustrating watching the show fall back into being about this shit and neglecting the stronger elements like the solid character work with Shinn and Athrun, and b) previous Gundam shows already staked out a strong position that what SEED takes as a given is actually total horseshit. the show's themes would be frustrating enough if they didn't exist as part of a franchise which has previously gotten this issue more or less right, with the highly combat-effective Coordinators being an obvious stand-in for the UC's Newtypes. the Zabis hijack the idea of Newtypes from Zeon Deikun and treat being a Newtype as a matter of genetics because it made their fascist spacenoid supremacy sound semi-legitimate and scientific. meanwhile, the text of 0079, Zeta, and ZZ insists that to be a Newtype is something almost impossible to define quantifiably. characters who are stated in-universe to be Oldtypes nonetheless experience Newtype visions, and the defining factor in developing Newtype abilities is nothing to do with being a pure-blooded Spacenoid, but about the simple fact of existing in space and allowing that to change the way you interact with the world. to my mind, the early UC's position is that while capable of providing miracles like the Sides, science is also too often invoked as a rhetorical device to retroactively justify existing dehumanisation and hatred by making it sound objective and logical, leading to Zeon seeing Earthnoids as so inhuman that killing billions of them in Operation British was acceptable to them. SEED doesn't just lack an interesting take on this core element of the UC (like Iron-Blooded Orphans' focus on how this creates avenues for labour exploitation through the stigmatisation of the Alaya-Vinjana system), it fails to understand it by accepting such a retroactive justification as part of its core premise, something that sticks out really badly because the CE shows are so interested in being a modern update of 0079 and Zeta.

my animosity towards the character of Kira in particular is that he's emblematic of these thematic and worldbuilding fuckups, cut as he is from the eugenic cloth. SEED Destiny's best moments were early on when Athrun seriously questioned Kira on his beliefs for the first time, after Kira insisted that Athrun betray ZAFT over nothing more than a hunch. and yet, Kira is vindicated, and his worldview of peace at all costs, while initially challenged by Shinn and Athrun in Destiny, is treated seriously by the show's end. Destiny's conclusion is that Kira, due to his superior genetics, simply knows better, and that we should sit down, shut the fuck up, and let our families be vaporised by nuclear murderbeams if that's what our genetically pure overlords think is best, even if the best evidence Kira has to support his worldview is little more than a hunch, wisdom granted by his superior genes. again, i don't think SEED understands that this is what it's saying; Kira talks the talk about equality between Naturals and Coordinators, it's just that the text of the show is so muddled and poorly written that it ends up saying the opposite. taken along with all of the other ways in which his character ends up screwing with the elements of SEED that i find legitimately compelling and interesting, it's difficult not to really hate him, and to find SEED as a whole deeply frustrating and disappointing.

SEED Freedom does so little to develop any of these ideas that it's honestly barely worth mentioning. having spent 100 episodes ceding ground to the eugenics shit, Freedom mostly just plays in the space that was created for it. it's much more concerned with bullshit comphet and assassinating the blackened, charred remains of Shinn's character than it is with grappling with the fact that "hey the show kept saying eugenics works do we maybe want to examine that a little in our legacy sequel". bad movie for a variety of reasons, but mostly unconnected from what im on about here.

[bobbasmultiverse]

strawberries & cigarettes

9. if we never try...

warnings: this is kinda from minghao's pov, profanity, teeth rotting fluff and someone being disgustingly in love that you'd want to puke for a brief moment, angst, smoking, suggestive themes

word count: 2189

song recs:

“you…you shouldn't be here.” you said, a bit timid at the sudden appearance of the wrong man in front of you.

minghao sighed, pursing his lips. “i know.”

“why are you here?”

“because soonyoung can't come.”

you were taken aback by that, blinking multiple times at the man before his mouth opened and closed. “what?”

“soonyoung can’t come. something came up for him and he…i don't know how to word this, but he forgot to tell you? seokmin said that, i don't know honestly.” he sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “listen, y/n. i know i'm, like, probably the last person you'd want sitting in front of you, but i'm a gentleman, okay? and i can't just let a pretty girl get stood up on her first date back home."

you stared at him, unknowing of where he got all that info from. "well, um, thank you, i guess. but you didn't really have to come all the way here so i wouldn't get stood up. you could've just called mingyu and he would've picked me up, no biggie." you chuckled slightly, staring at the unused utensils in front of you.

minghao was baffled, staring at you like you grew two heads. had his words completely flown over your head? did he say the words wrong and you didn't understand his intentions? probably.

"no, listen. this date is still a date, just with a different dude. and it can be a onetime thing, no pressure. but the date is still dating." he smiled proudly, as if one of his paintings were hung in the louvre, but he was far from that, and you were still not on the same page. "don't-don't say a thing. just enjoy the time. i'm pretty fun when i'm not hiking, i promise. just order whatever food you want, okay? i might look like a broke college student, but i promise i'm not."

"you never look broke, though." you pointed out in a murmur, grabbing the menu without protesting and sifting through it. "you actually look like a prince. with all the long coats and expensive glasses and accessory."

now, minghao was taken aback. he felt his face heat up as well, but he blamed it on the not broken airco, in the five star restaurant that he is still baffled about how soonyoung was going to afford it, at the start of spring were it was still chilly outside. definitely the not broken airco.

you think he looks like a prince, when you look like a whole angel sitting in front of him, a small pout on your lips as you rummaged through the menu, with your hair done so beautifully and your make-up finished perfectly.

was seokmin right? no, no, he can't be. these are just a bunch of random thoughts passing through his mind. they're just passing through his mind and going away with no return.

your phone suddenly started vibrating out of nowhere, snapping the man out of his thoughts as you put the menu down and picked up the phone instead, a small smile taking over your features that had the corners of your mouth dipping in, a new set of dimples that minghao was yet to see, but is now blessed with.

"hey, hoon."

hoon? did you mean jihoon? the jihoon you were at pledis cafe with? probably. you seemed a little too happy to be talking to him though.

"yeah, but soonyoung was a no-show."

he couldn't hear the other half of the conversation, but he could decipher some through your reactions and your hushed replies.

"no, minghao came instead...yeah."

minghao squinted his eyes, leaning more onto the table and abandoning the menu. now, why were you giggling on the phone?

you glanced over minghao's face before your face heated up out of nowhere. "can you-can you not?" now, minghao could hear a very loud laugh escaping through the phone.

then, you were quiet for a bit, humming every once in a while at whatever that jihoon was telling you before you nodded to yourself. "okay, i'll see if gyu can drop a change of clothes for me so i can crash at yours ... yeah, okay, see you then. bye."

minghao straightened right away once you lowered the phone from your ear, clearing his throat and pretending like he hadn't been eavesdropping on your phone call. "did you decide what you're gonna have?"

you hummed, nodding. "buldak, but cut down on the hot chilli and bibimpap, zero spice. and if you want to add fries, that'd be okay." never once did you meet the man's eyes as you told him that. you didn't know if he was gonna order for you, but you hoped that he would.

minghao only frowned at you for a moment before he was shaking his head and turning to his own menu. he heard that you were a picky eater, from mingyu, of course, and that you'd give the man hell sometimes with cutting out the essential part of the meal, but minghao never knew he'd get to experience it first hand.

so minghao ordered for you, adding the fries and ignoring the weird look from the waiter before he turned back to you as you waited for the food. you'd just put your phone down, texting mingyu the address where he would leave your things for jihoon to get and fiddling with your fingers instead.

"so," he started, leaning on his elbows. "how was it like in LA? away from your family and all that."

your eyes sparked at that, finally meeting his eyes for maybe the second-no, third time tonight, and minghao felt as if he was tracing a whole constellation in your orbs. "it was good, actually. some people think that it would've been really bad, but it wasn't at all. it only made me appreciate my family more and have an extra brother and a second mother. taught me to appreciate lots of things here, too."

you were smiling while speaking, your gaze dropping from minghao's mid-talk, but he was satisfied with the cute dimples dipping in your cheeks and right above the corners of your lips when you spoke. and he wanted to see them more.

"what, exactly?"

you hummed for a moment, leaning forward on your elbows. you'd decided that minghao was harmless a while ago, deciding to spend a good time instead of dwelling on something too stupid for you to remember. "my language, my family, wonwoo and his stupid 'did you know's," you paused, giggling, and minghao couldn't help the smile making its way onto his lips. "my korean friends, too...yoon and ryu, they're the best, could never compare to the ones in LA, to be honest. oh! mingyu's cooking, too. it would feel heavenly whenever i'd visit with josh. and...that's it." you finished off with a full grin, directed at the man sitting across from you. "what about you? you came from china to here, so you must have a reason and things that you miss from home."

minghao's mouth opened and closed, eyes flitting between your own before a soft smile graced his face. "well, actually me getting into fine arts was never on my list, to be honest. it just happened and i found myself in it during my senior year, then i got a scholarship and came here." he shrugged with a sigh. "i'm chasing the dream, you know? i still miss my parents, though. and my hometown, hai cheng. but, that's only it i guess. i obviously miss the culture and all that, but...i can always hit the chinese restaurant at the end of the street."

that elicited a laugh from you, and minghao felt pride and glee fill his chest at that.

"it's not the same, though. i mean, i always hit the korean restaurants in LA, but it's not like here, still. it can never be like home." you mumbled, a soft, almost sad, smile appearing on your lips just as the waiter came with the food.

"so, see you later?" you started, shoving your hands in your puffer as you turned towards the taller man.

he frowned, pursing his lips. "why? the date's not over yet."

you frowned as well. "it's not."

he shook his head, putting his hand out for you to take. "i still got some things up my sleeve, you know?"

you stared at his face for a little while, trying to get the intentions behind those eyes, but minghao was a wise man, smart as well, always showing what he wants the others to see, and right now, it was the challenge in his eyes.

why is he taking it as a challenge? not that he and you were competing over something? unless...

"i think you one-upped soonyoung quite enough, don't you think?" it was rhetorical, hands sticking by your side while minghao's was still welcome to you for the taking.

"it isn't really about soonyoung anymore, don't you think?"

your defeated sigh had his smile widen, as he felt your hand slip into his, cold and gentle, and he held tightly onto it as he started guiding you towards his car. but, good things never last do they?

"y/n!"

minghao's face scrunched up as he let out a deep sigh, your hand slipping from his as you turned around to face the other man.

seokmin, you caused this.

"and minghao."

"soonyoung, hey." minghao greeted, turning to face the man with a wave and a tight smile. "didn't think you were gonna show up," minghao paused, raising his wrist up tauntingly and looking at his watch with his head tilted. "two hours and thirteen minutes late."

soonyoung gaped at the foreigner before he turned to you, looking like a deer caught in headlights with your eyes wide and face flushed from the chill of the night.

soonyoung knew that minghao was definitely not supposed to be there, but he also knew that what he did to you was not cool at all, and it was the last thing he wanted to do to you, yet he did it, and there he is, standing on the side walk, many feet away from you with another man by your side.

"y/n, i-i'm sorry. i...something came up and i tried to go and come back as soon as i could, i'm really sorry." soonyoung said, taking multiple steps towards you to maybe try and convince you, show you his sincerity.

meanwhile, minghao leaned on the wall next to him, watching soonyoung as he tried to reach out for your hand and you pulling back before he grabbed his phone to text his friend and cuss him out, the smirk never dropping from his plump lips.

"you could've texted, you know. i wouldn't mind, but knowing would've been good." you mumbled, taking a step back from the man in front of you who looked helpless, like a sad little hamster.

soonyoung sighed, looking down at his feet and pursing his lips. "i know my actions aren't justified, but-"

"you should know that another woman would've thrown something at you and told you to 'fuck off', soonyoung. but, you're my brothers friend, and maybe i shouldn't have agreed to this, so-"

"stop, please." he took in a deep breath, clenching his eyes and fists shut before he met your gaze. "next friday, 6 p.m. and if i'm late or something you don't like happens, you can do all that, and you won't ever see me again. i promise."

you frowned at the man. he looked really sincere with a fire burning in his eyes. he's a good guy, you can tell that much...and a date with him wouldn't be so bad.

it's not like you and minghao were a thing, anyways.

"okay."

"what?" you heard from behind you, turning briefly to look at the baffled minghao before turning to soonyoung. "next friday, 6 p.m. and if you're a no-show again, i promise i'll make sure your remaining days in uni are a living hell, soonyoung...or at least until i forgive you."

now the two men were taken aback by your words, so sweetly said yet so disturbing. minghao liked it, soonyoung didn't.

you turned to the chinese, who only smiled sweetly at you and gesturing for you to take the lead as you started walking and he just had to briefly wave at the stumped soonyoung as he turned to follow behind you.

and he led you to his car, only for you to stare at it in awe. "this definitely screams broke college student." you mumbled sarcastically, looking over the BMW8 before you.

the man chuckled, opening the door to the convertible for you to get in like a gentleman. "i forgot to mention that i'm kind of a big shot back home." he stated, shutting the door gently as you settled into your seat before he was by your side.

"i'd like to drive it someday, if you may." you sighed, relaxing into the seat.

he only smiled to himself. "you bet."

"this is really good."

you hummed in agreement, too busy with your own ice cream, and so you missed the way minghao was looking at you when he spoke.

you were back here, in that same parking lot where you first saw the man, but instead of sitting on the pavement like last time, you were resting back on his car's hood, enjoying the city lights of seoul, closer to midnight now.

as you chewed down on the end of your cone, you rummaged in your jacket's pockets until you fished out the kurumi themed cigarette pack, putting a stick in your mouth once you swallowed down the food.

"i remember telling you i'm not a smoking enthusiast."

you glanced at him briefly, cigarette now lit as you hummed before tucking it between your fingers and pulling it away from your mouth. "i remember, too. yet you still got me a lighter."

he sighed, crossing his arms. "cause you looked upset, and it didn't suit you, even though you looked kind of cute."

you chuckled, turning towards him. "was the wine too much for you? are you drunk right now?"

he frowned, pouting slightly at you. "why'd you think that?"

"cause you just called me cute, and you shouldn't be doing that." you pointed out, blowing the smoke into the open night, only for minghao's face to scrunch up for a split second at that before turning to you.

"why?"

you shut your eyes, enjoying the breeze hitting your skin with a content smile on your face. "cause you know that soonyoung likes me."

"but do you like him?"

"why are your questions always like this?" you whined, turning away only for him to laugh at you and lean back more on the hood.

"no, but i'm serious, though. do you like him?"

humans are curious creatures, and minghao was no exception.

he watched you take a deep breath, look around for a bit before your gaze settled on your shoes. "i don't know, honestly. he's a nice guy, funny, kinda hot, too. but, i don't know. i guess i was gonna know if the date went through with him, but now i'll know next friday."

your shoes seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world now as you and minghao stared at it.

a million thoughts running through both your minds in the quiet of midnight, two kidults maneuvering through life, trying to take the best decisions you could manage, avoiding risks as best as you could, but...minghao was a risker.

"you know," he paused turning to you so he looked into your eyes, a surge of confidence going through his veins as the veil hiding his emotions dropped and minghao felt naked before you. "i'm a nice guy, i can be funny, too, if you want. and i'm definitely hot, don't you think?"

the shock was visible in your eyes as the smoke rose from the deadly stick while you stared at the man. a smile slowly rose on your lips, and minghao felt hope fill his chest. "but, you're kinda mysterious. a little emo, maybe? definitely hot, though." a giggle escaped your lips at the mock offence on the man's face as he crossed his arms across his chest like a little child.

maybe this was you rejecting him, declaring that he wasn't your type and that he should know that this is a one time thing. but, maybe you were correcting him, and that he was your type and not soonyoung, but also you could only be joking around, not serious about the matter and not planning on-

"don't work your pretty mind too hard, you can spend it on more important things."

he blinked at you, looking so ethereal with the moon lighting up your face and the smoke surrounding you. minghao didn't know whether you lit up another one, or if it was the same, but he thought that was enough smoking for the night.

"you're important, though."

and that small questioning hum, that small split second that you took to face him, that gentle touch of his hands on your cheeks, and that blissful feeling of his lips landing on yours, it was all so...beautiful.

the tobacco on minghao's tongue wasn't his taste, he didn't prefer it, but it was still coating your lips. your cherry tinted, heavenly and soft lips that minghao was currently lavishing as if it was his last meal.

he'd managed to throw the stick away from your hands without burning himself, promising that he'd pick it up later and discard it properly, but he was a bit caught up at the moment.

your hands were supporting you on the hood of his car, taking a second too long to process it that minghao had already pulled away from, eyes flitting between yours as the ghost of his touch remained on your lips.

"go with soonyoung on the date, but fuck it if i don't want you to come back to me, baby." he took heavy breaths as he said those words, gaze so intense you felt like crumbling at his command. "i know it's too early for this, too early for anything really...and too soon. but...i think i like you, y/n."

and then you were kissing him.

previous | masterlist | next

pairing: kwon soonyoung x wonwoo's sister!oc, xu minghao x wonwoo's sister!oc (ft. SVT)

genre: college au, love triangle, brother's bestfriend, angst, fluff

synopsis: two minor, what you'd call, incidents, lead up to the craziest few months of your life, where you make friendships and break some and you end with having to make the craziest choices of your life; to be young and free forever, or to have the best love of all time.

bobba talks | this was initially a very fluffy chapter that it'd hurt my stomach from the butterflies, but it turned out like this cuz my profession is angst and drama, i'm not sorry

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 9/15

What am I feeling today?

Tired but also encouraged. I had my birthday party last night and I’m really grateful for all the people that came out to celebrate me and show me love. I’m glad that I have people in my life that care about me so much♥️

Bible Plan: Wisdom in Dating

Working Through Conflict

On Day 1 we talked about pressure that can be toxic to relationships. But sometimes pressure can be positive. When? Whenever it helps us become more like Jesus.

Dating relationships produce plenty of positive pressure. Think about it. You’re in a close and emotion-filled relationship with someone who is different from you. So you’ll have plenty of opportunities for growth in communication skills, humility, kindness, forgiveness, and servanthood.

Conflict might seem scary, but it can actually be healthy. How? Because conflict can help you learn more about the person you’re dating and it can reveal things that need to be addressed. Of course, we should set boundaries. If dating feels like a constant battle, then you may not be right for each other. But there’s no such thing as a conflict-free relationship. And that’s a good thing, because conflict can make us better.

This is not only true in dating relationships but in other friendships too. Consider the ministry friendship between Paul and Peter. In Galatians 2, we hear about Paul confronting Peter directly because he was unjustly neglecting certain people in the church community. Peter might have felt annoyed or embarrassed at first, but it made him better in the long run.

When you date someone, you’re choosing to be vulnerable. It means they’ll eventually see “the real you.” That can be scary, but it can also be life-giving, because your partner can help you see things about yourself that you weren’t seeing before—good things and areas to work on.

Remember, setting boundaries is important, and if you’re frequently experiencing significant conflict in your dating relationship, it’s probably a sign to seek guidance from trusted friends, and of course ask God for wisdom.

Conflict in dating relationships doesn’t have to be scary. So don’t hide from it. Instead, embrace a grace-filled approach to help you and your partner grow through it.

Challenge: Reflect on your feelings about conflict. How was conflict handled as you grew up? And how does that inform how you handle conflict today? Reflect on today’s verses to identify one way you can grow in grace-filled conflict resolution.

now, I understand that I’m not dating (yet), but I think it’s good to see where my heart and mindset are at in regards to it.

How do I feel about conflict? Honestly I tend to avoid it or have other people handle for me. I don’t like having to confront people with their behaviors although there are many times when I think it’s necessary.

Growing up, it was also avoided. Well, my parents would argue and fight more often when I got older and then it faded (I don’t know if it resolved but it definitely improved). I just always hid when there was conflict because like I said (avoider).

Ephesians 4:26-32 NIV

““In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I have to be reminded of this. I can be prone to angry and can get there easily but I always have to remind myself that it’s not how Jesus would have handled the situation.

Also, building others up instead of breaking them down is big! I try to be encouraging with my words and refrain from stuff that could be taken as hurtful even if that’s not my intention.

Forgiving is vital! People will hurt you. That is a fact of life. What matters is how you respond to that hurt and forgiving them (even if they haven’t done anything to correct it).

I see how all this applies to relationships and I know in the past, I’ve been very conflict avoidant. My ex would do things that bothered me, but I never wanted to bring them up because I dismissed myself, thought I was being silly or that I would hurt his feelings if I said anything. I have changed and grown a lot since that time and I believe that now I am at a point where I can start conversations about what’s bothering me.

Galatians 2:11-14 NIV

“When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?”

Even in the Bible it shows that you need to call out certain behavior. It wasn’t appropriate for them to be disciples and to be acting in this manner so it needs to be pointed out so that it can be corrected. And this is also necessary in all relationships, we need to hold each other accountable but in love and care.

Romans 12:17 NIV

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.”

Just a command that is so necessary!!

[bloodonherknees]

Nameless Ghouls pt.2

I’m not as happy with this one, I might edit it :/ but I was feeling a lot of love for mountain today soooo here’s this

No warnings again, eventually I’ll give some nsfw stuff

You walked down the corridor holding a stack of set lists. The new set lists for the next tour, one for each ghoul.

You were taking it to the practice room where the ghouls were “jamming” as they called it.

You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers. They all lined up with their hands out ready to take a copy. Mountain was last and when took his copy he gave you a toothy grin that made you giggle.

You sat on a small stool and watched them practice. Occasionally one would dance over towards you, throw a pick at you to make you smile. You felt bad for mountain though, being behind his drum kit the entire time he couldn’t get up to as many shenanigans as the others, even Swiss and the ghoulettes get to dance, shimmie.

You picked up your little stool and moved it over behind him, you smiled as he briefly glimpsed at you, he grinned again.

He was so powerful, you’d never noticed the pure power he put into his music. Even at a practice session you could feel the shaking through the floor and you could see sweat beading down his neck. You could even hear him slightly singing along to each song, looking behind him to smile at you when he paused. You also appreciated siting at the back as it gave you a better view of Swiss and the girls.

Once they’d finished practicing, they all got up one by one, Swiss, Rain and Cirrus gave you a kiss on the forehead before they left. As you got up to leave you heard fidgeting behind you, Mountain was still sat by his drum kit.

“You wanna learn?” He asked sheepishly?

“I could show you… if ya want. He’d always seemed like the shy one to you, maybe that’s why he preferred to hide behind his drums.

“Sure.”

“Come here then.” He gestured to his stool, where you sat, and he pulled the other one behind it. Taking your arms, he guided your hands slowly, his tall torso and long arms made it easy for him to reach, that and the proximity at which he was sat to you.

“I see why you like this, it’s very cathartic!” You laughed banging around on the different drums and cymbals. You could feel him laugh back, you could feel his breath in your neck.

Mountain was gentle, despite his force on the drums you felt barely any pressure on your arms, but they were staring to ache a little, you weren’t used to this sort of movement.

“Can we stop? I’m getting a bit tired.”

He backed up, “yeah I’m sorry” he scratched the back of his neck and got up. Fiddling with his drumsticks he looked nervous. “You can go if you want, you probably have a lot to do.” He laughed.

“Actually I’m all done for the day, you wanna get something to eat? You’re probably quite hungry after all that.”

He lit up like you’d never seen. “That’d be great!”

He took your hand to walk out of the room, pulling it up to his mouth quickly and kissed it.

[tomorrowxtogether]

TAEHYUN: “TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: FREEFALL comeback interview

2023.10.25

Everything TAEHYUN says eventually circles back to one thing: music. It’s not just what he invests his heart and soul into, but also his primary medium for expressing love, as well as the driving force propelling him forward.

You tried keeping a journal and reading more books earlier this year.

TAEHYUN: That no longer applies though. (laughs) I got busy with work. It felt like a great year, being on tour and everything, but it came with some pressure. I know it’s not possible for someone to be able to give me all the answers to life, but I bought some books anyway, thinking they might at least provide some tips. I guess I’d still be reading if they had any really amazing ones … (laughs) I kept a diary for around one or two months. I usually share my thoughts and feelings to the other members, my friends, and sometimes staff members more than my family. At one point I was struggling emotionally, and I was telling someone on staff about it, but they just went into work mode. (laughs) They told me, “You can get it all out later in lyrical form. It’d be good to sort through it.” So I ended up keeping that diary half because of that and half because I was using my phone too much during the tour.

What sort of things did you write in your diary? Some people simply write down the things that happened that day and some  talk about their feelings and emotions.

TAEHYUN: I mostly write down my thoughts and feelings. Shocking, right? That’s what I usually go for. Then I started to have doubts when every day started to feel the same. I asked the person who recommended that I keep a diary and  they said, “You write the same thing, but each day you feel a little different. You should work through that.” My number one priority is how something makes me think or feel, then I can explain what actually happened. Later on, I can look back and see how I was feeling at the time.

Are you trying anything else new lately?

TAEHYUN: I’m actually laying off things one by one. I’m even taking a little break from exercising and just concentrating on doing what I have to do. I feel like taking a short break here and there means I have more physical and mental capacity when I have to concentrate on my work.

What do you do when you have a little bit of downtime?

TAEHYUN: I had about three days off and I just got back from a trip to Gangwon Province with some friends. I was so happy that it made me worried for the future. I find it stress-relieving to talk about light-hearted, random things and to just say whatever comes to mind without thinking too hard. (laughs)

Considering how good you are at everything, what kind of things make you nervous?

TAEHYUN: Well, just showing up to the MTV Video Music Awards means having to be totally focused as soon as someone points a microphone at you. (laughs) People ask us questions we’re not expecting on the red carpet, and Kai and I were more nervous for that than our performance. For Lollapalooza Chicago also, we were super focused since we had to pull off various media promotions at the same time.

But then you have to fully immerse yourself in the performance that follows, right? Like in songs such as “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go” where you have to be full of energy.

TAEHYUN: I just get totally swept up in it all. (laughs) The thing I was so thankful for at Lollapalooza is that the audience was absolute perfection. They were more excited for “Blue Spring” than we expected, so we really were working together with them to make that performance what it was. It’s not like I try to get to that place on stage—it just happens. When I’m up there, I get full of main character energy. (laughs) For a song like “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go,” it’s not like anyone tells me to do that—I just get so into it that I end up doing things like spraying my water bottle around. There’s no other experience like it. Nine times out of 10, I perform just like I planned, but for songs like that, it’s completely different from how I rehearse it. If the audience reacts well when I go wild, I think, Do I really have to stick to the plan, or can I do whatever I want? (laughs) But I still make sure not to cross a line.

With all that in mind, how did you feel about the carefully planned-out performance of “Back for More (with Anitta)” at the VMAs?

TAEHYUN: I think it was a bold move since that live performance was the first time anyone had heard the song. I wasn’t nervous on the actual day, but I was while practicing. After BEOMGYU does the intro, I have to sing “When I’m with you,” and I was repeating the words, “When I’m,” inside my head, like, 20 times. (laughs) What I wanted was for the audience to be reminded of Michael Jackson. The intonation was similar, and I even ad-libbed in a similar way, and I was hoping the dance moves would remind people of him, too.

What is it about Michael Jackson that you think’s so alluring?

TAEHYUN: When people talk about Michael Jackson, they usually talk about how he dances, but for me, it’s all about his vocals. I think every song he sang in, from his days with the Jackson 5 right until his last release, all show an unbelievable amount of skill. So I thought over how I could sound equally enticing. I was focused on being energetic while still getting the intonation just right.

I feel like you would have had to use a variety of different vocal styles for the songs off your latest album. Some of the songs are more straightforward, American-style pop, but others have a subtle, more nuanced feeling.

TAEHYUN: I felt like it went the smoothest of all our albums, at least as far as recording the vocals was concerned. Not only are we a lot better, but we’ve also worked with our producers a lot, so it’s a lot faster now. I fully interpreted the songs first, but my vocals were kind of lagging behind what I had envisioned. (laughs) It was frustrating because I couldn’t sing what I was imagining, but eventually my vocals caught up, making things easier for sure. I gave a lot of thought about my vocals and came up with two requirements. One is to practice finding what I call healthy vocals. We have a set list of over 20 songs that we do dozens of times, and if I want to be in the same good condition to perform it, finding healthier vocals is going to be better in the long run, I think. And now that I’m getting better at conveying the same kind of nuances live that I’m able to do while recording, I want to perfect it.

How is it you’re always able to make those kinds of judgment calls and keep on improving?

TAEHYUN: First I think about what I’m not good at, then what I am good at. I work on what I’m not good at, and when I feel tired out, I practice what I am good at. That’s how I do it. I think I have to acknowledge things first to overcome them and improve. And I think I know better than anyone else exactly what I’m not good at. I feel like anyone would have a way better chance of improvement if they don’t try to fool themselves. It’s similar to what we’re saying on “Chasing That Feeling,” I think.

Like “Chasing That Feeling,” you’re facing things head-on rather than avoiding them.

TAEHYUN: People all say, “if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it,” but I’m not like that. (laughs) I’m more like, “if you can’t enjoy it, just grin and bear it.” So I think I was able to relate to the song. You know, there’s lots of times when you know what you want to do but you just can’t get your body to move. I think that’s the “feeling” the song is talking about that you might feel but when you still have to work toward the things you have to do.

The message, music, and choreography of the single are a little different from what you’ve done before. How did you go about interpreting that?

TAEHYUN: I couldn’t actually picture the choreography after I heard the song, but I feel like the dance gave the song its persuasion and emotion. There’s parts where we run, chase after something, reach out, and act like we’re in pain. We got the choreography, practiced it, reviewed the video, and I think that helped me understand the intended direction better. The album’s about coming down to Earth, so naturally it was always going to be a little harsher and more challenging, but it’s still about moving forward. I feel like the single really encapsulates the story of the whole album. It was amazing because it felt like it could apply to people from all walks of life.

Are there any songs off the album that you really related to?

TAEHYUN: I’m not sure if this counts as relating, but, as you know, we have a complex backstory now. There’s some lyrics that really capture how we got to where we are today in “Happily Ever After”: “Oh my God / The ending is unknown / Life is not a fairy tale.” Up until now, we’ve been more like a fairy tale, and I like how it’s about the past, present, and future all in one song—like, Now that I’ve come down to the real world, I know life’s not a fairy tale, but it’s still a beautiful thing because I can’t see an inch in front of my face and there’s no saying what I’ll find at the end. That’s where I’m headed.

Speaking of which, where do you feel TOMORROW X TOGETHER is at right now?

TAEHYUN: I’d say this latest album is a major turning point. Sure, we’ve always been relatable, but I feel like we’ve never handled those topics in a realistic way. Now it’s all about coming down to Earth. I think we’ll get more comfortable with the process of taking the things we need to and will say and putting them into lyrics. It feels like my life story and what TOMORROW X TOGETHER sings about will overlap more and more as time goes on.

What direction do you ultimately hope to pursue in music?

TAEHYUN: I’m not set in stone on that yet.. (laughs) I’ve always liked a lot of different kinds of music, but lately I’m trying to listen to music that’s touching and easy on the ears. I mostly listen to songs that have good vocals and lyrics—especially those with compelling lyrics.

For example?

TAEHYUN: Off the top of my head? “Good News” off Mac Miller’s album Circles. I was inspired by and found a lot of comfort in that song and the whole album when I was having a hard time. So I gave YEONJUN a copy of it on vinyl for his birthday this year. I still feel melancholy whenever I listen to “Good News.” I have a T in my MBTI, but it makes me feel like my powers of empathy just skyrocket. (laughs) “So tired of being so tired”—I love those lyrics.

Sometimes music is a source of stress for you, but music is also what helps you get rid of your stress.

TAEHYUN: Isn’t it ironic? But music itself doesn’t really give me much stress, actually. I feel like the sweat and tears that go into the process of making music and choreography makes me feel alive. Yes, I can get stressed out from other things, but music takes care of that.

When you look way down to the end of the road you’re on, what do you see?

TAEHYUN: Hopefully the quality of my work will go up over time to the point that I’m at a level where I can move people after just a second with me. Lots of things can move a person, but for me, I’m especially moved when I witness great art. I was moved when I saw Jung Kook’s choreography video for the song “3D” recently. He’s got an aura all his own. He’s the GOAT, hands down. (laughs) Every move he makes across every bar of the song just oozes cool and nuance. It’s like, What did I just watch? What am I listening to? I had to watch it again. I think that’s what it means to be moving.

Everything you say circles back to music. I know you have goals as a group, but do you have any personal dreams of your own?

TAEHYUN: I’m happy when it shows how much effort I put into something, even if only slightly. And those are the dreams I can make come true fairly soon. Anyway, they’re all related to work. (laughs) I think that’s what keeps me moving forward. If I practice without being asked sometimes and suddenly I can pull off things I had trouble with before, then later doing things that someone tells me to do becomes more enjoyable, too.

What’s your take on the pressure you feel when you’re doing that and you come up against something difficult?

TAEHYUN: I just deal with it. I always use the expression “get it done” because it feels more like I’m achieving something. Just saying I’m “doing it” makes me feel like I’m being told to do it and there’s no sense of accomplishment there. (laughs) So I try to focus on the concept of getting things done when I’m asked. I think all the other members feel similarly. We all say, “We got it done.” (laughs) When someone says, “This is hard” then I get comforted when someone says “Yes, it is supposed to be hard,” or “It is hard and I’m having trouble too.”

Sometimes I can tell how much you value the other members for working and weathering together.

TAEHYUN: I think people can tell that I’m kind to people I really care about. (laughs) There’s MOA, of course. And the other members, and the people on staff, and that’s pretty much it. Some people who have worked with me and got to know the real me might see me and think, He’s trying his hardest. (laughs)I always try my best to be sweet, warm, and friendly.

You also purposely go out as far out as you can on the stage for the fans, and you remember dates for things like concert ticket raffles.

TAEHYUN: I find it harder to put things into words, but I’m usually okay at showing them, so that explains why I use actions instead of words. I always try to be attentive and caring. I also try to put my ideas into words like, Well, what if we tried doing it a little more like this?

It seems like the way you pour yourself into your work is your own kind of love language. You showed your thanks for MOA by borrowing the title of an article, “Musical perseverance pays off,” when giving your speech after a number one during your previous promotional period. What are you hoping to convey to MOA through the music on your new album?

TAEHYUN: Whenever we release an album, I hope that lots of people are able to relate to it. The new album tries to empathize with things that don’t get talked about much, so it should fill people with strength. I hope it does, anyway. I hope people can find some consolation in the lyrics. Because it’s not really things they would talk with other people about. (laughs) What I mean is, we don’t tend to talk to people about getting around to acknowledging and accepting things. I know I need to get this done fast, but I’m really deceiving myself and others about it. The music recognizes that process. At the same time, it says we’ve been there before too, so just chase that feeling. I hope it helps people out in some small way.

It sounds like this album really has the power to console.

TAEHYUN: Indeed.Because TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself. That’s why we’re conveying such stories.