#we love a husband who goes to lengths for u!!!!

[fatuismooches]

Random incredibly niche brain rot about playable reader and Dottore's cooking.

Namely, in the reason why Dottores cooking is always suspicious and why his specialty dish harms everyone other then they can eat them is bc it's made with a medicinal supplement specifically made for their condition in mind. So basically, everyone else is taking very powerful drugs not meant for them vs reader getting a better boost from his specialty then any other healing food in the game.

Love that for them (*´▽｀*)

(x) Dottore's not a stranger to finding unconventional ways to get you to swallow your medicine. Every time you think you can evade your fate, he very much forces you to face it. The most direct way is having other segments hold you down of course (and subsequently comfort you after your poor throat was assaulted.) On rare occasions, he can make a gummy version. Sometimes he can grind it down into a powder but then you hate the taste. Regardless, a doctor must always find a way to take care of their patient.

Dottore still rarely ever cooks, and only enters a kitchen when you beckon him to join you for a lesson or meal. Thankfully he's made a decent amount of progress (the first batch of cookies he made was pitch black, now they get slightly less burnt every time!) and you've become accustomed to the taste of his specialty dish! (You don't know if the reason why it's started to taste better is because you've become immune to burnt cookies, or because you just love him that much.)

Now, Dottore won't even tell you if he sneaks some medicine into his dish. That would defeat the whole point. Don't worry, it won't hurt you - it'll help you of course! When he stops giving you so much physical medicine you're elated of course, not knowing you just wolfed it down. And he too is pleased - after all, it's one of his top priorities that your condition remains stable. Not to mention, the Harbinger finds amusement in seeing you get all grumpy and offended at innocent people on his behalf. The poor Traveler and Paimon get a headache five minutes afterward. It's a win for everyone.

[lightlycareless]

heyyyy:33 love reading your nao x reader headcanons, i am feeling bit angsty and been wondering how would naoya react if something goes wrong during yn's labor. like she starts screaming, trashing around and is in lots of pain.

Hello anon!!! You want angst??? WELL YOU GOT ANGST.

Actually it's not that much, but hey, it's not that nice either so... I hope it's to your enjoyment still!

warnings: pregnancy. going into labor. the fear of a baby dying. bleeding. naoya suffers. 🥺

related work: (sequel) (prequel)

Happy reading!

Something going wrong when Y/N is in labor is hands down, Naoya’s worst nightmare. He might’ve prepared everything so to keep risks to the minimum, and yet, there are moments where that is all he thought about.

That, and the worse version of his fears: the two don’t make it.

He tries his best not to think about it, Ranta also tries his best to distract him as soon as anxiety etches his features. And you…

Well, you wish you could offer a viable solution, disappear so the sight of you doesn’t have him spiraling, yet remain close because he needs you and he’s your husband, for crying out loud! You don’t want to be away from him, not even for a second, while pregnant!

But… everything was proving too hard for you to deal with on your own, and stresses like these could only do harm to your pregnancy, alongside those awful thoughts that would cross your mind in the worst moments possible: the idea that maybe Naoya… maybe he didn’t want a family with you anymore.

However, the love both had for one another, for the mochi growing inside you, alongside the support of your family and friends, these obstacles were soon forgotten, replaced with the excitement of the fast approaching day of delivery, the moment you’ll finally be able to hold your baby, as well as see if they were a boy or a girl—not that it mattered, for they’d be unconditionally loved anyways.

Everything was carefully tended to, starting by ignoring the Zen’in’s insane request of having you deliver the baby at the estate, in less than prepared conditions and away from your family just because they wanted.

Nope, not happening. Instead, he arranged your stay at one of the best hospitals of Tokyo, a whole floor with dedicated personnel to solely attend to you; just to begin with.

Your family was naturally impressed by Naoya’s dedication to once again go to these lengths. And yet, he wasn’t doing anything they wouldn’t have done for you; in fact, they also gave their own suggestions to further ensure your safety!

«Well, at least we know she’ll be ok with Naoya…»

“I’m going to be fine.” You’d tell them, slightly overwhelmed by their worries. “Though I do think Naoya might’ve gone a bit over the top…”

“It’s only necessary.” Naoya interjects. “No one outside of the necessary people will disturb you, everything you need will be tended for, and you’ll also be in presence of your friends and family.”

“Friends…?” You repeat slowly, because at that point you only expected your family to be there, not your trusted staff, who were grinning at the prospect of accompanying you during one of the most important stages of your life! “Oh my god, you’re here!”

“What, thought you’d get rid of us just because you’re having a baby??” Haruko grins.

“I’m offended by how poorly you think of us.” Hitomi teases.

“I—I didn’t expect you guys to be here! I thought you’d be busy or—or something!” You chuckle. “I’m speechless!”

“Don’t be too speechless, we still have to make the most of the city before you’re admitted into the hospital! I personally have never been to Tokyo, so I’m planning on taking all the tours.” Mariya enthusiastically suggests.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, did you forget my wife is very much pregnant?” Naoya frowns, she laughs.

“We’re just joking, Naoya—what kind of godmother would I be if I didn’t care for her?”

And in this precise moment, you genuinely believed it couldn’t get any better than this. Surrounded by the people you loved; nothing could ruin this!

Unless your contractions were to begin a bit earlier than anticipated, followed by a numbing, stinging pain that made you freeze on your track, drop everything on the spot to tightly hold onto your stomach; a feeble attempt to stop whatever it was that had you such mortifying state… rushed to the hospital when blood soaked your garments, your and Naoya’s worst nightmare abruptly becoming real.

Without time to waste, you’re quickly checked into your designated room to be urgently attended by the doctor of his choosing, the supposedly best there is in all of Tokyo—no, Japan—who alongside his entourage began to urgently prepare everything for your procedure, for your symptoms were not expected neither wanted in a pregnancy.

But if that wasn’t anxious enough for your husband, your screams of gut-wrenching pain that only worsened as time went on were enough, were enough to get him spiraling.

“Help her!” Naoya demands, more than ready to rattle the doctor into action if needed.

“We can’t let you in if you’re going to disrupt the patient.” The doctor warns, further fueling your husband’s desperation. He’s just a mere second away from losing himself, just one more word and he’ll—

“Naoya, please, calm down—” Thankfully, your father was there to put a stop to his anger, a genuine sympathetic approach for he’s gone through his fair share of pregnancies—things like these don’t scare him that much, but they still worry him.

How could it not? The probability of losing his daughter, the youngest, his first grandchild too…! And just after loosing his wife as well…

It’s a pain he would never wish upon anyone. Certainly not on his distraught son-in-law….

So, what good is it to hire the best, if they’re not going to do their job?!

Naoya freezes upon hearing another heart-wrenching scream come out of you, heart dropping to his stomach as he hears you demand them to get the baby out, stop your suffering and just—help you!

He doesn’t want to hear more of this, he doesn’t want to see nor hear you suffering so, but he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know how to act nor what to say that could get you out of this awful predicament and back into safety, into the world where you and his child were ok and all this was nothing but an awful nightmare!

But the same moment he was debating what to do, your father already made his decision, walking past him and straight into your room, firmly determined to support his daughter through whatever destiny fate instilled on you—even if it meant death.

A sight that soon snapped Naoya out of his struggle, feeling like an absolute idiot for even hesitating! He’s been through life-or-death situations before, why is he suddenly cowering now, pitying himself?! When you need him the most?!

What poor excuse of a husband he was being; a despicable father compared to yours.

Once snapping out of his dark thought and gathering all of his courage, he steps into your room, heading straight to your side, opposite of your father and takes your hand, letting you hold it as tight as you needed—whatever the sacrifice he had to make to ensure your safety, he’d willingly oblige.

“Nao—Naoya—” you breathed, looking up to him. “It—It hurts!”

“She’s losing too much blood.” A nurse would note. “She’s still not dilated enough.”

“My baby—I don’t want my baby to die” you fret.

“She won’t.” Naoya reassures. “She won’t die, I swear—”

“We’ll have to induce her labor to help her dilate, and if that doesn’t work, then a c-section will have to do.” The doctor explains, hoping to get his permission.

“Anything.” Your husband pleads. “Anything to save my wife, my family, please!”

Because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses you. Life would cease to matter at that point.

But thankfully his prayers were to be heard, and with the quick, highly prepared skills of medical staff, were you freed of all complications, ensuring not only your safety, but that of the baby as well, perfect just as the two envisioned her to be.

“Naoya, our baby.” You’d breathe, face lightening up when the nurse finally placed the small, chubby bundle you’ve been waiting to hold for 9 long months in your arms, holding her softly against your skin as you gushed. “Our baby is—”

“She’s a girl.” The doctor says. “A healthy girl.”

“A girl.” You cry, tears of happiness dampening your cheeks, struggling to believe what was before your eyes. “Naoya, we had a beautiful baby girl!”

There are no words to describe what Naoya feels at this very moment: to the sight of you lovingly holding onto your baby, the highest demonstration of love between the two, after so much suffering.

Though he could start with love at first sight, something he already believed existed, but when his eyes laid on his beautiful baby girl, he was completely sure of it now.

“She has your hair.” You comment on the small patch of black hair on the top of her head.

“And your nose.” He responds, gently poking it.

“Ha! How can you even know so? It looks like a regular nose to me.” You giggle—only to gasp a few seconds after being given the breathtaking sight of your baby slowly opening her eyes for the first time, a revelation that made your heart flutter. “Naoya—she… she has your eyes! Oh, my love, she looks just like you…”

Deep within him, Naoya always hoped the baby would look like you—with your big round eyes, your silky, soft hair, and adorable cheeks he always loved to tease. He thought she’d looked far better with your features than his own anyways, and wished would be that way.

But there was something about seeing you gush about her likeness that struck his heart with adoration, feeling appreciated and fiercely protective of the precious, tiny baby in your arms.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need to know the name of the baby before continuing” Another nurse said, and a wide smile spreads across your lips as you gently poke her cheek, already imagining the agony her father would put her through.

“Naomi.” You say, eyes intently focused on your daughter. “Zen’in Naomi.”

Named after her father, perhaps the only tradition you kept from the Zen’in, because there was nothing else you wanted more than for the world to know of the man that has made you so happy, the love of your life, either through your affection, or Naomi, your new family.

“A granddaughter, I have a granddaughter!!” Your father would proclaim, tears in his eyes as he accepts the baby from your arms, who was now wrapped in a soft pink blanket he got as a gift, with you proudly smiling at his excitement. “Oh, she’s beautiful Y/N!”

“Welcome to the family, little one!” Hinata grins, eager to take her niece into her arms as well, but patient enough to not do so until her turn. “You don’t know how happy we are to finally have you here!”

“Can’t wait to see you grow up and give your parents a run for their money.” Ren teases, you pout.

“My baby is going to be a nice, well-behaved girl.” You respond. “Unlike you guys…”

“Though she will be spoiled.” Naoya promises.

“Well, it can’t be spoiled if it’s what she deserves, right?” you say, he nods along. Your family fears the lengths you’d both go to do so; you and Naoya are already ruthless as it is…

But even then, they genuinely knew they had nothing to worry about—for as long as they were around, nothing bad would befall little Naomi.

As expected, the exhaustion of the past few hours finally caught up to you, at first making you yawn before your eyelids began to grow heavier and heavier; a sight that didn’t go unnoticed for too long, your father gathering everyone around for their departure.

“We’ll be outside if you need us.” Eiichi promises, carefully handing Naomi back to Naoya. “Rest, pumpkin, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, dad…” you yawn. “I feel like I could sleep for years.”

Eiichi chuckles, leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead before moving onto Naoya, patting his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Naoya. You’ll be a great father.”

Naoya smiles, warmed by the words his father wasn’t there to give him, gladly accepting them in his heart as they promptly make their exit. Once alone, your husband places Naomi into the crib nearby, placing a kiss on her head and eventually making his way to you, to give you a kiss as well.

“You did amazingly, my love.” But as much as you wished to enjoy this moment, the agony of past experiences swiftly makes way to your mind.

“…I was scared, Naoya. So, so afraid that something would happen to me, or worse, our baby.” You tremble.

“I know, I know.” He coos, softly removing some unruly hair strands from your face as tears begin to pool in his eyes. “But it’s over, all that is gone—we have Naomi now.”

“I was afraid of leaving you behind.” You continue. “I… I didn’t want you to face all this by yourself. The thought of you having no one to rely on frightens me like you have no idea. At one point I thought I wouldn’t be able to see you—”

“That was my worst fear too. I loathed even thinking about the possibility of returning home without you.” The moment you notice the tears forming in his eyes, you quickly reach out for him—to the best of your ability anyways, much to his worry. “No, Y/N, you have to rest—”

“Thank you for being by my side.” You murmur, hugging him tightly. He returns the gesture soon after. “I’m so glad to have found someone like you, to be my husband, and now father of my daughter.”

“…What did I do to deserve you?”

“Well, you gave me an adorable baby girl, as of recent!” you sniffle through a giggle, making Naoya chuckle. “From there, all that I ever wanted, really. From food, clothes, even holidays…”

Naoya blushes, proud of his consistent commitment to you and the happiness it provided you. And yet, that was not to be the end of his fluster—not without your following words.

“But most importantly, your love.” You smile. “If anything, I should be wondering what I’ve done to deserve you…”

“Your mere existence is justifying enough for me.” He responds quickly, another tear sliding down his cheek, which you swipe soon after. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kiss him. “And our new family.”

…

…

…

“I know some mothers feel the desire to have another child as soon as their baby is born, but after what happened, I think it’s best for now if we hold off that idea for a while. Don’t you agree?” You suddenly say.

“Yeah, couldn’t have said it any better. Though something tells me Naomi is going to be quite the handful to begin with…”

“Considering she looks just like you, I’d say you’re right.” you laugh, he rolls his eyes before kissing you once more.

[hanasnx]

stop because i literally thought this was just me being completely utterly weird but knowing that there’s someone out there that thinks the same thing is literally so relieving, like yes?? anakin is and would be “gross” when he’s having sex?? and omg and dropping hot wax on him?? i loved all of what you said, we need more “gross”anakin. 

thank you for coming to my Ted talk.💗

(btw I’m talking about you “scratching the surface” with anakin’s other kinks)

─ prev post,

val it’s so real it’s practically canon.

like i absolutely know padme (who’s not prudish by any means & even if she was that’d be fine) was barely keeping up with her husbands sex drive and kinks. but the man knows how to lay the meanest pipe so i just know she loved being along for the ride 🤷‍♂️

sometimes some of the gross stuff i write for him i don’t even write it as a “this is gonna be so hot” it’s literally like “yea ani would do this and probably be into it” like i really try to stay true to his character and he thinks it’s hot. whether or not i do or you do is subjective. the reader in the fic is always gonna reflect ani’s sense of adventure and therefore be into what he’s into for the sake of storytelling

i have a series of unarticulated thoughts on anakin’s so-called “grossness” and i try to sprinkle them in evenly throughout my work. but since u asked for more, i’ll give you a list

let’s talk more about anakin’s disgusting habits under the cut

WARNINGS: f pronouns + anatomy, dead dove do not eat for sexually and potentially triggering explicit themes. things such as feet stuff, butt stuff, armpit stuff, pregnant/breeding/lactation kink, titfuck. mommy/daddy kink, mentioned vomit from gagging on cock & cleaning it off & face fucking, slight dubcon, sadism, dacryphilia, piss kink, blood consumption

! ── he’s so impulsive, so eager to act on a whim. unapologetically gross

! ── ani is treading pretty dangerously close to a foot fetish bcos it’s part of “his worship” for reader. and he would 100% “floss your toes with his tongue” and he’d tell reader that to their face too

! ── would make out w your ear tbh.

use tongue when he kisses you on places that are supposedly chaste. your hand or your cheek or your forehead during goodbye. what’s the point? he doesn’t know. he wants to taste the sweat on your skin

! ── he eats ass like a starving man and he loves when it’s done to him too. he doesn’t even fuckin care istg he loves ass. he loves fingering it while he’s fucking your pussy, he loves fisting it, fucking it, making you wear cute jeweled butt plugs. he wants to fist your pussy too but that’s not nearly as easy as your perfect asshole

! ── unhinged enough to lick & suck your armpits. sweaty or not. part of his insatiable need to have touched/licked every reachable inch of your body no matter how unorthodox. the possession in him

! ── shamelessly attracted to pregnant women & milfs & tits. the mommy issues on this kid is out of this world. he wants you to take care of him like you’re his mom and i mean that. and he also wants to fuck you. he’s so fucked up. if you made dinner for him? in nothing but an apron? he’d call you mommy and eat whatever you made right off of you

! ── breeding. we all know it, it’s been done before a thousand times. anakin’s the king of the breeding kink. but i’d like to say some more about it.

if you’re pregnant, he’s constantly trying to fuck you. you’re like “my love, can you grab me that? i’m in a lot of pain right now i can’t—

immediately, he’s asking: “you want me to fuck you too? it might relieve some of the pressure. i read somewhere..”

he’s practically vibrating sitting next to you thinking about how he— him— he put babies inside you. h i m.

god and if you let him have you?? he goes crazy

he’s like grabbing your hair and licking up the length of your spine and saying shit like, “gotta make sure right? gotta make sure… you’re gonna take it all… my little wife.”

and

“i did this to you, didn’t i? say it, baby, who got you fucking pregnant? fuck, your tits are gonna get so fucking big. you’re gonna let daddy milk you, right?” cos that lactation kink is so real too

he’d honestly wanna fuck your tits while they’re full of milk. watch your nips drool milk all over yourself and his dick while it’s nestled so tight in between em. you’re practically crying from the oversensitivity which is just an added plus for him.

part of the pregnancy kink is definitely the thrill of almost forcing you to have his children.. going bareback and bein like “you ready for another one? let’s make another. if it doesn’t take this time, we’ll keep doing it. i’ll give you my cum as many times as it takes, yeah? you fucking love it.” after you literally just had one of his children bcos he’s selfish and cruel and tyrannical and gets off to shit like this

! ── after a blowjob he wants you to swish and gargle his load. open your mouth so he can spit in it and make you mix it in. watch you as you swallow it and probe your mouth with his tongue to taste the remnants

! ── piss kink. he has it. he wants it both ways. something about watching you kneel in front of him to get pissed on makes him feel so superior. disgustingly superior. telling you how good you are sitting so pretty for him while he pisses on you. you’re so dirty for liking it. might make you drink it depending bcos he’s def had yours—

! ── making you practically vomit on his cock from fucking your throat so deep. swells with pride when you lick it off of him like a good girl. he loves seeing you gag and choke and lurch. the way your throat looks closing up and how your body surges from the involuntary movement. it makes him moan and fuck your mouth like a pussy. as hard as he can.

! ── twisting and pulling and flicking your clit and nips. slapping your pussy. tugging at your folds. simply bcos of his sick fascination to put you through so much for his own sexual satisfaction. don’t worry he expects the same from you.

! ── he’d lick and drink your blood in the right circumstances tbfh. if he broke the skin on you somewhere he’d lick the wound

! ── he wants to watch you hopelessly fuck so many things for him. for him, specifically. not you. for him. he wants you to put on a show for him. to redden and whine and cry bcos whatever thing (which is most likely not a toy, and something not meant to be stuck up your ass or pussy. that stretches it too wide or whatever other reason) just isn’t working and it’s not getting you where you need to be. and you beg for him to help you. to let you stop. but he doesn’t. not yet anyway

! ── seriously,,, there is so little i don’t see this boy doing ,,, there’s definitely more but this is just what i had on hand. 🥵🥵 i love anakin’s disgusting side. disgusting is an understatement. he needs a stronger word

[heyaeolus]

Hii, are you taking request? If it's not bothersome, that haikyuu as a parent was adorable XD and I would like to request something similar. How about Haikyuu as dads embarrassing their daughter/son, (maybe Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa and Atsumu) who would most likely do this 😂

HQ boys being embarrassing fathers

The length is pretty inconsistent depending on what situation I thought out for the character. I personally think I’m not that good with jokes he he he...

I HOPE U LIKE IT OMG

AND YES I TAKE IN REQUESTSSSS

Bokuto

We all know he is loud and we don’t even have to say it

You were usually the one who drives your daughter to school but today, you end up waking up late because a certain someone decided that you needed the extra sleep (yes he’s sweet but you have a meeting with the executives)

So you’ve now got two wonderful girls with Koutarou, they’re now 6 and 12 years old

“Koutarou don’t do anything weird, okay.” That was a fair warning for him but it goes right off his ear as soon as he zooms off because hE GETS TO DRIVE HIS PRINCESSES TO SCHOOL

Your youngest was the first he dropped off. He sent him off with a big smooch and an “I love you, little owl!” Your youngest shouted back an “I love you too!” to his daddy with a big grin before running off to her classroom.

The challenge came when he dropped off your eldest. Being in her school, your daughter doesn’t want everyone to see how much of a daddy’s girl she is so when Koutarou leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, she dodged

In a second, Koutarou’s hair deflated. Your daughter tried to reason, “Dad, not here. It’s my school!”

“Do you not love me anymore, baby owl? Have you found another guy to replace daddy?

“DAD, NO. You’re overreacting.”

“No, baby owl. You should kiss daddy when he wants one!” then he tries and leans in again but this time your daughter gets off the car and shuts the door on her father’s face leaving Koutarou to his despair

But alas, there’s a solution to it! Koutarou rolls down the window of his car and pops his head out and shouts “I LOVE YOU BABY OWL! HONEY BUNCH! MY SWEET LITTLE PUMPKIN!”

Your daughter is good as dead right then as the children around stared at her father, chuckling. Others even taking a video of what was happening. Your poor daughter is as red as a tomato as she bolted further into her school grounds.

“DADDY WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON’T LOVE HIM BACK”

“Mom, save me.”

The video of that incident instantly graced the internet, going viral in under 24 hours. It was safe to say Koutarou is not allowed to drive your daughters to school again. But he’s happy he got his kiss from his eldest now.

 Oikawa

Another dude here that is sweet with his daughter. Literally pours his heart to his sweet little angel and gives her everything.

Sometimes, you fade into the background with these two.

One Saturday, your daughter came with company. To your horror, it was a guy named Hiro. Although decent looking, you don’t like the fact that she is engaging in romance as early as her age.

But Tooru thinks otherwise, “Oh? My sweet little angel has inherited my charm!”

Your daughter blushes at her father’s comment and pulls her company into the backyard. Settling on the bench swing in there.

It was fine and everything’s going good with him and her company until Tooru’s voice rang from inside.

“Y/D/N-chan and Hiro-kun sitting on a tree~ K I S S I N G ~”

Your daughter turned and found his dad cruelly comfortable leaning on the ledge of the window overseeing the backyard, toying with a rose that she recognized were the ones you bought to put in the vase at the living room

As if once is not enough, Tooru repeated the verse again. Your daughter felt like bURSTING

She put her face into her palms, furiously blushing. She turned to Hiro who is now awkwardly laughing at the sight of your husband. She tells him, “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry for the existence of my father. Don’t mind his presence.”

“OuCH! Y/N-chan! Why’d you do that?! I was only entertaining our visitor! Come here watch them with me.”

 Sawamura

HA you bet Daichi is the model father but yes, you are partially right. He’s pretty tight with some things but is still sweet. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t got some pretty embarrassing moments

You guys are in the mall for the weekend, shopping for new clothes as winter is approaching. You were separated from them when you followed a saleslady to find your size of the shoes you wanted

Your daughter was on her phone while her dad stood by her, shopping bags in his hands. He peeked into her phone a few times, finding her chatting with a guy. When she giggled to herself, it was peak protective father mode for Daichi “Sweetie, who are you talking to?”

“Oh. Just a friend, dad.”

Daichi scoffed to himself, skeptically glaring at the back of his daughter’s head. Thinking, “How could you lie to me, sweetie?”

Moments after, the father and daughter pair turned their heads to a guy’s voice calling out your daughter’s name. Daichi grew rigid as soon as he saw the boy

The boy, completely oblivious of Daichi’s mood, ran up to your daughter with arms spread. It was to Daichi’s horror that his daughter came into the guy’s arms and hugged him back. Daichi let them exchange a few words after but his aura is just hard to shake off with him staring hard at the guy. He soon bids goodbye, bowing at Daichi

But before he could go farther, Daichi talks to your daughter, rather LOUDLY.

“SWEETIE, I DON’T WANT YOU HUGGING RANDOM PEOPLE NEXT TIME” People around were already staring at them as Daichi continues his rant with a straight face

“Dad, geez, he’s a friend!”

“NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT THAT PERSON WILL MEET MY WRATH”

The next time your daughter had that friend over at your house along with some others, he was weirdly sweating and keeping very little space for himself

“Are you okay?” you asked the boy

“Ah, yes. Thank you, Mrs. Sawamura.”

Daichi smiled to himself while your daughter shook her head at the side in pure embarrassment

 Atsumu

Atsumu has a big internet fanbase. He also keeps all his accounts active, especially his twitter. Your son blocked him in almost every platform with the exception of Instagram and Facebook for formality.

Atsumu is, rather, a supportive father to your son.

Example number one: once, your son posted a sad quote in Facebook and Atsumu commented with “Let’s have a boys’ talk later, buddy” your son deleted the post

When Atsumu came home that night he went straight to your son’s room knocking at his door. Your son was quick to reject his father, “NO DAD. THANK YOU BUT NO.”

The next one was when your son advertised Osamu’s onigiris with a picturesque post over at IG and the piss-haired twin didn’t think before he commented, “I can make better onigiris than Samu, buddy.”

You came home that night with about two days’ worth of rice on the kitchen and Atsumu wildly rapping at your son’s door. “YOU HAVE TO TASTE THIS BUDDY THIS IS BETTER”

[fandomfluffandfuck]

reunion sex based off this fanart???

"i thought you were smaller"

bucky not knowing what to do with this absolute beefcake in front of him, head still swim-y from being tied up. he's lowkey convinced that he's died n gone to heaven (yes, he loves steve. yes, he loves steve's tiny body. yes, he also loves the idea that steve can snap him in half like a toothpick now) since this giant fucking hunk just swooped in & carried him away

could go either way.

sudden sub!bucky bc holy shit steve's enormous, just droppin' to his knees and sucking him off right there. maybe bouncin' on steve's pretty cock in the tents, not givin' a single fuck who can hear bc he's captain america's baby boy and no one's gonna fuck with him

or subby!beefy!steve being all shy back at camp in front of his husband boyfriend bc ,, this body is still new n uncomfy n he's not sure bucky'll love him anymore now that he's big :((( but bucky shows him All Of The Ways he loves his stevie baby

aidjfkskfngkkakf sorry i've been MIA. went on vacation, had no cell service, and my muse has kinda disappeared. that post def helped tho 👀

anyway. cheers! love u -🎁

Okay YEP

So that fanart. Yes. Yes. Yes. Tiny Steve sitting in Uniformed Up Bucky's lap. Delicious. Y’know what's also delicious-?

The idea that seems to float around the fandom that Bucky thinks he is having a fever dream after Steve rescues him but still just goes with it because- LOOK AT THIS MAN. I’M SO FUCKING THIRSTY FOR THIS MAN THAT I WILL FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE, EVEN WHEN HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE HIMSELF. 

(Also “beefcake” is the exact way to describe post serum-Steve haha)

Option 1- Sub!Bucky

Option 2- Sub!Big!Steve (btw i love love love that shy, sorta still uncomfy Steve hc)

Okay, so, before we talk about either:

if we’re going off of that delicious fucking fanart, which we are, then Steve was a bottom pre-serum and with the pretty blush and the hand on the hip… well, in my mind it looks like something that Bucky charmed Steve into doing, y'know? Used his pretty smirk- his pretty mouth to convince Steve to do it. Murmuring in his ear with that smooth Brooklyn drawl and soothing his anxieties about it (really his anxieties about not looking good enough to ride Bucky like that since he doesn’t have much of an ass to speak of from being so skinny) by touching all of his lovely skin. So-

Clearly I’m leaning more towards sub!big!Steve. 

However!

Whatever Bucky wants at this point, Steve will GLADLY give to Bucky.

And so when Bucky keeps sneaking looks at him, his cheeks heating and his mouth dropping open a little to reveal his pink, pink tongue as he mouth dries out… Steve knows what he wants. And he comes to realize that, yes, he very much would like that too. He wants to fuck Bucky. He wants to feel him around his dick, alive and well. Well especially because he’s moaning and swearing in pleasure, not pain, melting on his cock. 

Yes.

As much as Bucky would love to drop to his knees and choke on whatever fucking baseball bat Steve is surely now packing in his stupid red white and blue uniform pants, his injuries are a thing. And like all of the other liberated prisoners, the people from the med tent are eagerly pulling at them, urging them to rest and to let them check them over. 

By the time Bucky is cleared and allowed back to the regular population of the camp because he is, in fact, not dying, it’s morning. Meaning there aren’t a lot of people around anymore… no one is sleeping or too terribly near them.

Steve’s around though. 

When Bucky finds him, he’s at first pretty sure he just wants Steve’s cock in his mouth, wants to suck him off and have him inside him that way, BUT as he gets onto his knees and he’s tasting Steve’s hot length, having it slide thickly in and out of his lips as Steve swears, throwing his head back yet trying to stay quiet, biting his own fist but still making awed assertions of how good it feels all of the sudden. How much more he can feel thanks to the serum. Then suddenly when Steve’s hips jerk forward into his mouth, moving and thrusting even under all of the strength and weight that Bucky can put behind trying to hold him back… suddenly he wants Steve actually, actually inside him. He wants to be where he had Stevie what feels like a lifetime ago. He wants to be thrown around and held. He wants to be safe. He wants to feel what those hips can do, pounding him into the nearest possible surface.

While still getting his first blow job in this new body: Steve whimpers and flounders with his hands, not wants to grab onto anything for fear of breaking it because all he can think about is the tightening, pulsing, aching need to cum, telling him that he’s about to finish, voice shaking. Confessing to Bucky louder than he should that he can't take it. It's too much. He's gonna cum. Right now.

And because they don’t yet know about his quick recovery or his ability to stay hard; Bucky uses this to his advantage, saying that they're taking a break before standing up, much to his knees complaint, and leaning in to kiss his best guy, murmuring, a little shyly, “imma need you to do me like I did you before I shipped out.”

Steve turns fire-fucking-truck red but his voice speaks for how much he wants it, getting deliciously deep and rough, "yes, yeah- yeah, Buck, please. I- I wanna try that," as his fucking bear paws for hands grab at him, a little too hard (not that Bucky will tell him that, he wants the bruises- the proof that it’s real).

Steve manhandles him, pushing him back onto his cot, vibrating with excitement.

Here’s where the sub!Steve comes into play… you ready? ;) 

The second Bucky is being fingered open- which he takes to with surprising ease, especially considering how thick and long Steve’s fingers are now - he gasps, normal at first but getting progressively higher and needier, "oh. Oh- Oh!" as Steve goes on. He begins moving his hips up on instinct, the urge to arch his back and open himself up even more for Steve frighteningly overwhelming. It gets Steve to press his fingers perfectly over his prostate. Which. Just. Breaks him. He shakes to the bone, bones and veins being filled with lava. Hot and thick.

"Mmm- Steve! Steve! Oh, oh my g-"

Steve’s big hands come in handy (pun not intended) because he has to slap one of them over Bucky’s mouth to muffle him.

"Ready?" He grits out, this close to snapping and pushing into him. For once feeling the undying need to fuck and thrust and take rather than put up a fight to have Bucky ask for those things from him. Or have Bucky take them from him. His cock hurts.

"Mmph, yhhf, S'eve-" he slurs from behind his palm, red in the face, dark eyed, and nodding frantically.

So

Steve is sliding into him.

And he’s the one who’s melting. Not Bucky.

It feels fucking great for Bucky, don’t get him wrong, but for Steve? Holy fuck. 

If being in Bucky’s mouth was overwhelming- a whole new world of sensation… can you even imagine how overwhelming being inside Bucky would be? Steve can't imagine it, he's having his mind blown.

He wouldn’t even have to be moving inside him to feel pleasure because he can feel the most minute twitch or ripple or clench of Bucky’s internal muscles around him. 

He can feel how wet with vaseline Bucky is. 

He can feel how hot Bucky is inside. 

He can see every single detail of Bucky like he couldn’t before, when he was colorblind and needed glasses but couldn’t afford them- at least he can see when he finally peels his eyes open again. The blush over Bucky’s face and chest and how truly pink it is- even though the blur of his tears from So Much Happening. The individual rivulets of sweat beading at his hairline. The clash of black, huge pupils against the icy blue of his eyes. Everything.

"B-buck-" is all he can pant, the wind knocked out of him.

Steve pulls out and back. And again.

Holy fuck.

He can hear every wet-suck of Bucky’s body trying to keep him inside as he finally remembers that fucking involves moving (helped in part by Bucky grabbing at his shoulder and his hair, frantic and gasping, “Steve- you- you fuckin’ punk. Steve- holy- God. Move! Move! Move! Mooove, please- fuck, please.”)

Steve can hear every single sharp inhale and gasp and breathy, tiny, “oh” along with every single fucking other noise of pleasure his best guy makes and it’s causing his brain to drip out of his ears. 

He can smell Bucky’s arousal without pressing his nose to the soft, intimate skin that’s shadowed with hair around the base of his cock. All he has to do is inhale. 

He can smell the sweat rolling down their skin, clashing together and smelling like home, like a smokey, hazy Brooklyn summer sat out on the fire escape, taking turns fanning each other. 

He can taste the sweat on Bucky’s skin like he never could before as he collapses down onto him, whimpering because he’s got no words. How could he remember to talk when he’s- he’s just broken open. All of his nerves are raw.  

So raw that all he can do is melt on top of Bucky, pinning him in place and nearly sobbing because HOLY SHIT. Unable to get himself together until Bucky finds his own words again, first making sure that he's okay, that this is okay in general, and then acting on his frustration. Making him get fucking going with fucking him. Ordering him around- telling him how to move his hips and when to kiss him until they’re both just gasping into each other's mouths and pawing at each other. On the edge. Bucky being the one in charge even though he's the one stuck in place, under Steve's bulk.

“C’mon, c’moooon Steve, Stevie- ‘m dying, you’re gonna- fuck, you’re gonna kill me. I’m gonna kill you- I’m gonna fucking kill you if you don’t- don’t fucking move. C’mon you big lug.” 

“Hnnnnng-”

“Yeah, yeah, baby, I know. I know it feels good. Feels like heaven every time I push into you too. I know. T-trust me, fuck, it'd fuckin’ feel better if you moved!” 

“Buuuucky-”

“Yeah, c’mon. Fuck me or so help me, you ba-bastard, I'll, I'll find a way to kill you- s-serum or not. Fuck m-” 

“Ngh-! Ah! Ohmygod!” 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it doll. Yeah. Fuck. Oh. Fuck, yeah. C’mon, keep going darlin’, keep-” he cuts himself off to pant and grab greedily at Steve, “ah, yeah- fuck. Mmm, jus’ like that. Fuck me just like th-At.”

Steve doesn’t answer with words, just high sounds that would have Bucky rolling with laughter if they weren’t made while he was balls deep inside him, clearly losing his fucking mind. 

That’s chill that you were MIA! It’s okay! I hope you had a good vacation <3

I hope you enjoyed!

[ginnympotter]

if you are still doing prompts can you do #50 with hinny pls! And if at all possible can u please do it with jily alive, imma sucker for those!:)

“Shh, stop fussing,” Harry said, trying to soothe her. “I’m just braiding your hair.”

“Don’t shush me,” she muttered, hugging the toilet. “When did you learn how to braid hair, anyway?”

“Mum taught me,” he told her, as he carefully wove her ginger locks together into a tight plait. “On Sirius.”

Despite her current disposition, Ginny let out a short chuckle. “What?”

“When I was seven, Sirius went through a long hair phase. He was trying to grow it longer than my mum’s,” he explained. “They can tell you about it at the table. You have a hair tie?”

Ginny stuck out a hand, and Harry gently pulled off the black tie from her wrist. He tied up the end of her plait and put his hands on her shoulders. “There. Now your hair won’t be in the way.”

She looked back at him, her face soft and pale. “Thank you.”

“You think you’ve finished?”

She nodded. “For now.”

Harry stood up, flushed the toilet one more time for good measure, and then offered his hand to Ginny and helped her up. “You think you’ll be able to get through the rest of lunch?”

“I’m hoping,” she said, attempting a smile. “You go back out there, I’m just gonna brush my teeth...again.”

He kissed her cheek and left the bathroom. When he returned to the dining room, James and Sirius were caught up in a heated debate about whether flying the motorbike or a broom was a more efficient way of travelling. Lily had a knowing look on her face as Harry sat back down, which made Harry want to avoid her eyes, afraid his own would confirm it.

She played along, anyway. “Is Ginny alright, love?”

“Yeah, she’s fine, she’ll be out in a moment,” he assured her, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

Sirius halted his argument with James to add, “I did think she seemed a bit off-color when we got here.”

Of course Sirius decided to become observant when they were trying to keep something private. He was glad to have an excuse to change the subject. “I was just telling her about your long hair phase when I was a kid, remember that?”

“My glory days, you mean?” Sirius reminisced wistfully. He looked at James and Lily. “You think I should grow it out again?”

“No,” said James at the same time as Lily said “yes.”

“What Evans says goes,” Sirius smiled.

Just then, Ginny emerged from the bathroom and joined them at the table. She sat down and muttered, “Sorry about that.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” James waved off, pouring her a glass of water. “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “Yes, thank you.” She squeezed Harry’s thigh with one hand and took the water in the other. Harry took that as his cue to take lead of the conversation.

“Ginny wanted to hear about how I learned to braid hair,” Harry told them.

Sirius and Lily laughed as James dug into more food. “I had just cut my hair,” started Lily. “Shoulder-length. And Sirius’s hair was getting pretty long, he was about to cut it himself when we realized it was about the same length.”

“So we had a contest,” Sirius said. “Who could grow out their hair longer, faster.”

“It was a pretty close call,” James joined in.

“But eventually I got tired of only donning a man-bun. It was time to change up my style. So I asked my dear sister here to teach me how to braid my hair. Even though I could’ve just used my wand, now that I’m thinking about it.”

“So Sirius practiced on me,” Lily recalled. “And Harry watched, and then we got him to braid Sirius’s hair for him. I said, ‘my love, one day this is going to be a skill that will come in handy in one way or another,’ and any time spent with Sirius was time well spent for Harry.”

“Still feel that way, kid?” Sirius asked Harry, grinning.

Harry shrugged playfully and Ginny laughed, bringing some color back into her face. “Depends on the day.”

“I get it, you’re married now,” Sirius lamented as he ruffled his own hair, much shorter than it was back then. “But I guess Ginny has me to thank for that lovely plait, given all the hair you ripped out of my head practicing.”

“No hairs were ripped out in the making of this plait,” Ginny assured them, smiling. She reached for a roll and took a small bite. Harry could tell she was hungry but scared to eat anything more. She swallowed. “Thank you for teaching him, most helpful.”

“Remember how we used to have braid-offs?” said James, his arm around Lily. “To see if Harry or I could braid faster?”

“Oh yeah,” Harry laughed, recollecting it. “Whoever was braiding Mum’s hair always won,” he told Ginny, holding her hand on his thigh. “Because hers was much easier to work with than Sirius’s.”

As Sirius took great offense to this and started going on about how female conditioner is better than male conditioner and it took him a year to figure that out and make the switch, Harry looked over at his wife and saw her scrunching up her features. “You ok?” he asked, quiet but concerned.

“I thought I was done, but…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose and out through her mouth. “I don’t think that’s the case.”

And then she stood up abruptly, mumbled, “excuse me,” and ran down the hall, slamming the bathroom door behind her.

They all went quiet, staring at the closed door.

James spoke first. “Is she alright? If Ginny’s sick we can get going, you can take care of her.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s-” he stammered, unsure of how to finish his sentence.

“Harry,” said Lily, compassion in her voice. She knew. Harry knew she knew. She smiled at him. “Go check up on her, let her decide.”

He could tell she meant let her decide if she wants to tell them the news more than decide if they should leave. Harry nodded, getting up from his seat and apologizing. “Sorry, be right back.”

He walked quickly down the hall and knocked on the door. “It’s me,” he said. “Can I come in?”

Harry heard her clear her voice before responding, “Yes.”

There she was on the floor again, head hanging in defeat over the toilet, a sight that Harry has been saddened to become so familiar with over the past couple of weeks, despite the otherwise wonderful cause of it.

He shut the door behind him, and squatted down on the floor, gently placing a hand on her back.

“Your mum so knows,” she grumbled. “Doesn’t she?”

“I suspect so, yeah,” he replied as she flushed the toilet. “Gin, if you don’t want to tell them yet we don’t have to, we can tell them you’re sick and they can go home.”

She shook her head slowly and turned her gaze to her husband. “No, let’s tell them. I want them to know. It’s just...we haven’t told anyone, you know? Saying it out loud makes it feel more real.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, of course not,” she clarified. “I’m so happy, you know that. But it’s still scary.”

He smiled, moving closer to her as he continued to rub her back. “They’ll help us.”

“I know they will,” she smiled back.

Harry helped her up again, and she moved to wash her hands and face. As she was finishing up he asked, “Are you sure you’re done?”

“Yeah, that was the last of it,” Ginny stated in reassurance. She rinsed with mouthwash and spit it out. “This baby better be worth all the vomit.”

Harry laughed, pulling her in, enveloping her in a hug with gentle arms. “It will be.”

She sighed against him, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his jaw, which then prompted him to lean down and kiss her on the mouth. She pulled away laughing. “You do not want to kiss me after that.”

“I always want to kiss you,” he told her in earnest. “You used mouthwash, it’s fine.”

“Harry-”

He caught her lips with his own, kissing her passionately. And how could he not? She was going to be the mother of their child. He felt so grateful to her, so guilty that she had to be the one to bear the bodily burden of it all. He hoped he could translate it all into his kiss.

Ginny must’ve understood- she always did - as she kissed him back with equal enthusiasm for a minute before pulling away again. “Harry,” she repeated, this time with tenderness in her voice.

“Sorry,” he said. He moved a stray hair from her braid and tucked it behind her ear. His heart was swelling. He could hold her all day. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she told him as her eyes softened. “Alright, let’s do this.”

They exited the bathroom together and approached the dining room table. Before they could even sit back down Sirius said, “Are you pregnant or something?”

James groaned and Lily smacked Sirius’s arm hard.

Sirius swore loudly, glaring at Lily. “What the hell, Evans?”

“That’s a rude question to ask, Pads,” James muttered.

“No tact,” Lily sighed in disappointment. “None, whatsoever!”

“I was just asking an innocent question! Her sprinting from the table just reminded me of you when you were pregnant with this one,” Sirius said, nudging his head towards his godson. Then he looked at them. “Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude.”

Before Harry could interject, Ginny said, “No, it’s ok. You’re right.”

The room fell quiet. James’s eyes widened. “Come again?”

“He’s right,” she repeated. “I am pregnant.”

“Surprise?” Harry offered.

There was a beat, and then Lily, James, and Sirius all started speaking at once, sharing their congratulations, shooting up out of their seats and moving to hug them. When Lily reached her son, she put both her hands on his face, and she had tears in her eyes.

Harry smiled. “You knew, right?”

“A mother always does,” she confirmed, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “You’ll learn that soon enough when Ginny suddenly becomes all-knowing.”

“She already is.”

[let-me-write-shit]

Hey! Idk if u r taking requests hint if you are, can u do one where harry+y/n+bby paxton are out and about but all the sudden get swarmed by paps and then one of the cameras accidentally hit the baby and the clip goes viral and celebs and ex-1D members and stans all start coming to the defense and share stories about how awful the paps are? U don’t have to haha

A/N: Thank you so much, @gwen-and-harry, for this request! I’m sorry it took so long! Hope this is alright!

Word Count: 5,227

Requests are OPEN! If you have a request for a blurb, oneshot, imagine, whatever, Send me a message HERE!!!

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Friendly reminder to please like and/or reblog. It helps more than you think :)

---------------------------------------

Paparazzi

The outpour of love and well-wishes after the announcement of the birth of their firstborn son was touching and comforting. Harry and Y/N were lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. Still, the eagerness of the public to get the first glimpse of the newborn and the new parents began to grow. No one had seen the couple out since before their son was born and Paxton was nearly three months old, now. People were becoming desperate.

There were more and more fans outside of their house as the days passed. Y/N and Harry had people running errands for them and luckily had the help of friends and family, as well, who would stick around for a few days at a time to give them little breaks and were more than happy to get some time with the happy baby. But as the sun stayed out longer and the temperature began to rise, the new family felt the yearning for a nice summer holiday.

They’d planned it for weeks, excited to take pictures and videos of Paxton’s first time at the beach. Harry had found a perfect house with a private beach off the coast of Italy and even decided to bring along security. And even though he didn’t do it often, he thought the circumstances warranted renting a private plane to take them to the beautiful country.

Harry and Y/N were very cautious in showing any images of their baby. No one, aside from close friends and family, even knew of his name. Having been the victims of stalking, they didn’t want their son to be subjected to that and tried everything in their power to protect their child. There were brief moments when it was typical for it to be vacant outside their home, so they planned their escape down to the minute; bags loaded in the car from the night before, and two security guards standing by to rush them to the car.

Paxton was already buckled into his infant car seat and kicking along, happily, as Y/N cooed at him, dangling toys and pinching his chubby legs while Harry peered out of the window, waiting until the coast was clear. She noticed her husband straighten up more just before the security guard said, “Let’s go.”

Harry hoisted the brown leather diaper bag further up his shoulders and tossed a muslin blanket over the top of the car seat to cover Paxton, just in case anyone happened to see them. He took hold of the car seat and carried his baby out to the car as swiftly as he could while Y/N followed closely behind him. It took two minutes for everyone to get settled in and pull out of the driveway before they felt like they could breathe a sigh of relief.

Y/N and Harry shared a look of burden. The lengths they had to take just to keep a bit of privacy and normalcy was insane. And still, they weren’t out of the woods yet. Although they were flying privately, they still needed to drive to the main airport where their plane would depart from a strip off to the side. Everything seemed to be alright, so far. Usually, Harry could tell if it were going to be crazy if there were cars of fans chasing them, and that was not the case, so he let his guard down.

But, as they approached the backup in the car queue through the airport terminals, they slowly came to realize that this wasn’t going to be as easy as they anticipated. They were at a standstill for over ten minutes, unmoving, with cars honking loudly around them. It seemed that there was roadwork on a few of the lanes ahead that caused a jam. Quickly, they had to make a decision that they didn’t miss check-in with their pilot.

After much deliberation, they decided that the only solution would be that Harry, Y/N, and their baby would have to walk down the strip accompanied by one of the security guards while the other security guard continued with the car and would eventually meet them at the plane with all of their luggage. Y/N couldn’t stay stuck in traffic, her claustrophobia was already starting to make her panic. The fresh air would do them all some good, and besides, there weren’t an overwhelming amount of people walking along outside. Most people were in a rush to get in. They thought they’d be able to handle it.

Poor Paxton was fast asleep, but it was a pretty far distance to be lugging a heavy car seat while trying to walk as quickly and discreetly as possible down the sidewalk to reach the end where their terminal would be. At least by carrying him, if someone did recognize them, they’d be able to shield their son better.

Gently, Harry unfastened the buckles from Paxton’s car seat and slipped him out, passing him over to Y/N without waking him. It was warm out, but Y/N made sure to wrap Paxton loosely in the thin muslin cloth and cover his face enough so that he could breathe well against her chest, but his face couldn’t be seen. The couple made sure to wear their sunglasses and Harry took hold of the leather diaper bag before the security guard jumped out and opened the door for them.

Quickly, they started making their way down the sidewalk, heads down to not call attention to themselves, and following their security guard’s strides who was barely a step ahead of them. Horns blared and echoed around them, stuffy fumes from car engines congested the area. For a moment, Harry thought they might actually get through unrecognized. But that quickly came to prove wrong.

It always started as just a feeling of being watched before turning into a slightly louder buzzing as people, wondering if it was really him, began to mutter. This then turned into a few shouts and calls. He ignored the first few calls until he realized that too many people started to notice. He turned, smiled, and waved at them as he continued. This usually satisfied fans enough to not follow him. But then he saw it. The cluster of cameras. Paparazzi.

They looked shocked to see him, at first. He guessed they were likely here for someone else at first and he was just a bonus. Just his luck. The security guard tightened his gap and Y/N felt a hand on the middle of her back as Harry protectively pushed her along so they could keep moving faster. Still, they were already halfway there and it wasn’t more than they were used to.

However, more people became increasingly aware that not only was Harry Styles there, but also his wife and newborn baby. Harry always had a good relationship with the paparazzi, but the incitement to get the first look at their son was causing them to swarm the new parents.

“Harry, how does it feel to be a dad?”

“What’s your son’s name?”

“Where are you headed?”

“Harry, does he look just like you?”

“Can we see?”

The questions were never-ending and almost too hard to hear as everyone talked at once. Surrounded by not only paparazzi but also curious fans, it became harder to move. Their security guard did his best to keep everyone at bay and to keep moving forward, but it soon became too crowded to move. Y/N held her baby closer to her chest as he began to wriggle and squirm from all the noise, sharing a brief look of concern with Harry who tried his best to remain calm and friendly while also trying to make way for his family out of the ring of paps that surrounded them who became more aggressive with their questions, closing in on them.

Cameras started bumping together, voices became louder, and the paparazzi began to shove each other, fighting to get closer to the celeb. Some fans began to notice how reckless they were becoming and started to yell at paparazzi along with the security guard who was still trying to push through to make room for them, only inching their way forward now.

“Back up, they have a baby!” a few girls screams were muffled behind the shouts of the paps.

Paxton was wiggling more now and started to whimper as Y/N and her husband were being yelled at in all directions. Y/N could feel paps nudging her back, getting too close for comfort. When the security guard noticed, he’d yell at them, but there wasn’t much he could do. He was only one person against dozens of others. Her claustrophobia was in full swing and her heart began racing, breath becoming more of a pant. She felt a tug on her shirt followed by a deep voice beckoning, “Come on, let us get a look at the happy family.” They had gotten bolder in touching her purposefully.

Y/N spun around, “Please don’t touch me,” she yelped.

Lights started to flash in her face and she felt a hand tug at the muslin cloth that was protecting her son. Instinctively she swatted at the hand and pulled her son in tighter, shouting, “Don’t touch him!”

Harry turned, protectively shielding his wife and son, urging her in front of him, fans still yelling as another pap shoved his camera in between them so hard that he managed to whack the top of Paxton’s head with his flash attachment, causing the baby to flail and burst into wails, sobbing into Y/N’s chest at an ear-piercing level.

Before Y/N of the security guard could even react, Harry leaped at the pap, shoving him backward, and began screaming at him so ferociously that it created a momentary standstill. No one had ever seen Harry so angry before.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, eh?! That’s my baby, you fuckin’ dickhead!” Harry’s accent became thick with rage, shoving the startled man’s chest which made him back away.

“I didn’t do anything! I didn’t do anything!” the pap could be heard saying, shrinking away.

A few other paparazzi were taking the side of the pap and snapping pictures and videos of the incident while most yelled along with Harry as well as fans. Harry kept at him, screaming even louder and angrier, “You smashed my sons head with your fuckin’ piece of shit camera,” he yanked the camera out of the pap’s hands and chucked it to the ground, a few pieces breaking off and sliding every which way, continuing to shove the pap back while the security guard tried his hardest to contain the situation and get people to back off.

“Harry! Please!” Y/N cried, her heart pounding in panic and on the verge of tears.

Harry was seething, glaring at the pap who had backed away, nervously, before the awareness that Harry was surrounded by people, most with their phones out, started to sink in. The crowd had given them some more space now, and he looked back to see the concern on his wife’s face as she bounced and patted the back of their crying son in her arms in an attempt to console him.

With one last scowl at the offender, Harry hissed, “Don’t come near my family again.”

He picked up the brown leather diaper bag off of the ground; he must have dropped it during his fit. Hiking it back up his shoulders, he wrapped an arm around Y/N’s waist as the security guard led them away from the crowd, fans calling their support after them and continuing to yell at the paparazzi.

The rest of the walk was silent, still too rattled by the situation to find the words to say. By the time they reached and boarded the plane, Paxton had fallen back asleep and it didn’t take long for their other security guard to reach them.Should have just stayed in the car, Y/N thought, getting settled in a seat with her son, She loosened the muslin blanket around his face, but not too much to disturb his sleep. Harry stayed towards the front of the plane, barely out of earshot, to talk to the security after their belongings were loaded.

A few minutes in, Harry could be heard raising his voice at them, angry about how the situation was handled. Y/N winced, trying not to listen in as she kept her attention down at her son who was suckling on the inside of his cheeks as he slept. It was almost time to feed him, but Harry still had the diaper bag. She felt bad for the security, there wasn’t much they could do, and she knew Harry was only yelling because he was upset that his son was in danger. It wasn’t like Harry to take things out on other people, but he had become increasingly protective since becoming a dad.

Moments later, Harry and the two security guards made their way back, and although Harry still looked tense, Y/N could tell that they had talked things out and was willing to bet that Harry apologized to them, too. It still didn’t make her husband any less angry. He plopped in the seat beside his wife with an exaggerated sigh and leaned over to get a good look at his sin, gently pushing the muslin cloth away as he ran his hand over the baby’s soft, fuzzy head. A splotch of raised red skin could be seen forming from where the camera had hit him.

Y/N snapped her attention to her husband and saw the distress stretch across his face and with an overwhelmed frown he said, “I better take a picture of this. Just in case,” and he pulled his phone out from his pocket.

She knew what he meant. Just in case that pap wanted to press charges for destruction of property or assault. If he did decide to press charges, there’s no way he would win. There’s more than enough photographic and video evidence of the assault on their baby. But over the years they had learned that they could never be too careful.

He shoved his phone back in his pocket, and the pilot and flight attendant introduced themselves, checked ID, and went over safety procedures before the plane started down the runway. Harry stared down at his son the entire time, not letting go of his tiny hand that was wrapped around his middle finger. Y/N knew how worried he was feeling, and with an understanding smile, she carefully passed him their baby.

She grinned as Harry shushed him back to sleep when he began stirring, stroking his cheeks in total adoration of the little boy he held in his arms. His heart ached as he caressed the red splotch at the crown of the baby’s head, angry that grown adults would act in such a way, especially in the presence of a child.

“Do you think we should get a doctor to look at him?” he asked as their plane ascended.

Y/N nodded her head, “I think he’s fine but better safe than sorry. We’ll take care of it tomorrow. I think we all need to relax when we get there. It’s been a long morning.”

It wasn’t a long flight to Italy, but it wasn’t calming, either. Y/N fed Paxton while Harry fretted about the flurry of texts and missed calls he was bound to have by his managers, PR, and legal team, certain that videos and pictures will have been released by then. And just like he predicted, they landed to nearly thirty missed messages of all sorts, including links to articles titled, ‘Harry Styles Attacks Paparazzi Outside of London Airport’. They couldn’t bring themselves to open or read any of it, but Harry did spend a majority of their nearly thirty-minute car journey on a conference call with his team talking about the situation and discussing ways with which they could handle it.

Harry cut in after a while, saying, “Alright, listen. I’ve got to go. I’m supposed to be on holiday with my family. Can someone please make an appointment with a doctor out here to look at my son tomorrow and text me the details? We’ll talk about this another time.”

Harry wasn’t assertive a lot, but when he was, it always turned Y/N on. She kissed his cheek with a grin as he hung up the phone and squeezed his hand. His mom and sister were one of the many who had texted them after seeing the news and they made a quick FaceTime call to them, venting about the encounter and reassuring them that Paxton was fine, showing them the sweet baby’s face when they finally pulled up to the vacation rental and ended the call.

It was just after noon when they arrived at the house, and instead of unpacking, everyone left their luggage by the front door and took the food they had picked up from a drive-thru on the patio by the pool where they overlooked a beautiful, private beach lined with white sand and water the most beautiful shade of blue. Harry bounced a cooing baby on his lap while they ate. The couple silenced their phones, trying their hardest to avoid the onslaught of calls and messages they were bound to receive.

After lunch, everyone finally put their things away, got changed into their bathing suits, and headed to the pool for their first swim of the year. For just a few hours the coupe was able to forget about the inevitable problem they were facing and enjoyed their time together as a family.

Paxton seemed to enjoy the water once he warmed up to it, screeching joyfully and splashing at the surface while mummy and daddy took turns holding him and pushing him in the inflatable raft they brought. They laughed at the baby boy’s reaction to getting water droplets on his face and all the noises that escaped his tiny lips.

They stayed in the pool until nightfall when they wrapped themselves in towels and sat around the fire pit to keep warm while one of the security guards left to pick up dinner for everyone. Normally, Harry would feel bad for having someone else get him food, but given the circumstances, he felt it was for the best.

He looked over at his wife, her eyes red and irritated from the chlorine, and the high points of her face sunkissed from the warm, Italian sun. Her hair was slicked back, though that didn’t stop Paxton from getting a hold of a chunk of her hair and tugging as she fed him. Harry’s smile started to face into a frown when he noticed the red splotch on the crown of his son’s head was not tinged a blue-ish purple. It had started to bruise.

Y/N noticed her husband’s silence, and with an understanding and reassuring squeeze to his hand, she softly said, “He’s okay, Bub. Just a little sore when you touch it, but still a happy boy.”

“I know,” he nodded, “Still pisses me off that it even happened, though. I should go see if anyone was able to make an appointment for him, yet.”

He ambled off inside to find his phone that he left on the nightstand, ignoring all of his notifications and going right to his assistant’s texts to see the information of the doctor that was kind enough to agree to come to them tomorrow morning and take a look at Paxton. He did a quick background search on the doctor, pleased to find that she had come highly trained and recommended, and he sighed a breath of relief.

He then decided to take a look at some of these notifications, a little worried about the backlash he might have received. But, he was surprised to see the response of support and even shocked by some of the names that had reached out to him or spoke up about the fight.

The first people he noticed were his mom and sister who both made and shared an Instagram text post that read, ‘There is a lot that you have to deal with and compromise on when you have a fanbase or a following, and one of those things is privacy. It’s something so many of us take for granted, and so far, Harry and his lovely wife have taken it in stride, rarely complaining. They’re aware, just like the rest of us, that being a ‘celebrity’ and the lack of privacy in his line of work is an unfortunate given. However, when the safety and privacy of a newborn child are at risk, this type of behavior can become extremely dangerous. There is a time and place for paparazzi, and hurting a child to get a few snapshots is deplorable. Change needs to happen’. In the caption of the photo, there was a petition link that called for adjustments on laws when it came to paparazzi and children.

A lump formed in Harry’s throat as he read, reliving the moment his son had gotten hurt a mere few hours ago. There was so much running through his head. He felt like an idiot for losing his temper, he should have known not to lash out like that, especially when there were so many cameras out. He was pissed that the paparazzi put him in a situation where he felt like lashing out was his only option. He was upset that he couldn’t enjoy their first vacation as a family with their new baby because he was too worried that people might spot him. He was scared for the future of his son, worried that he’d have to look over his shoulder every step of the way to make sure his son could have even just a shot at living a semi-normal life. And he was grateful for the support of his family and for them speaking out and trying to invoke change.

As he scrolled through his notifications more, he saw that Lizzo had also posted a video to Instagram and tagged him in it. He played the video and chuckled, feeling comforted, when her face popped on the screen, shouting, “If y'all don’t leave my baby daddy, Harry, and my sister-wife, Y/N, alone! They had a baby with them! Like this child is basically straight out the womb, and y’all sick motherfuckers are out here grabbin’ on ‘em just to try and take a picture?! A picture?!” she looked disgusted as she shook her head, “These paparazzi are getting bolder every day. This shit needs to stop. I need each and every one of you to click the link on my bio. Things need to change. Yesterday.”

He went to her page and saw the same link that Gemma and his mom had posted to their story. And that wasn’t all. As he continued to go through his notifications, he saw that he had been tagged onto one of Niall’s tweets a ton. He opened the link to see what Niall had written.

‘Absolutely disgusted to see what happened to my friend @Harry_Styles, his lovely wife @Y/N, and their little lad today. Truly criminal that these paparazzi can do things like this with little to no repercussion. I’m so sorry the two of ya had to go through that. Absolutely fuming for ya.’

With a tight-lipped grin, Harry nodded and made a mental note to text Niall later and thank him. For now, he pocketed his phone and rejoined his wife outside who had just finished feeding Paxton and putting him in a portable rocker beside her to nap, her feet propped up by the edge of the fire, wiggling her toes in the warmth. He kissed her forehead before taking his seat on the other side of her, informing her of the response, so far, of the day’s events.

Throughout the week, more and more people had started to speak up. The doctor had come around to take a once-over of Baby Styles, deeming him healthy, just bruised, and leaving them to enjoy their vacation, utterly astonished by the number of people who had spoken out to condemn the paparazzi and share their experience.

Louis had called him shortly after the doctor had left while they were on the beach. Paxton was screeching on his tummy, holding his head up and beating his chubby fists into the sand. Harry watched his wife smiling and clacking at her baby, completely smitten by the two of them, as he and Louis caught up. The last time they talked was when Louis congratulated them on the birth of his son. This time, Louis called to make sure they were doing alright. Harry was still trending online and, being a father himself, he knew how upsetting it was when your kid was brought up in the media. Especially when they had to deal with the repercussions of the paparazzi.

“Man, it just blows my mind the shit these low-lives can get away with. Please tell me you’re gonna press charges, mate,” Louis seared.

Harry groaned, “I don’t think I can, mate. I broke his camera and shoved him. We’re pretty much even.”

“Even?” Louis repeated, “Mate, he hurt a baby. He’s done much worse than you did!”

“Not according to the law, man. Not really. Besides, he’s fine. Just a bruise, thank God. Was more worried about, Y/N, if I’m honest,” he whispered, trying not to let his wife hear, “You should have seen her. Thought she was going to have a panic attack because of her claustrophobia.”

Louis tutted and sighed, “Poor lass. She's alright now, though, yeah?”

“We’re on the beach, so she couldn’t be happier,” Harry laughed, watching as Paxton gazed in awe at the little sandcastle Y/N had just made.

They had received texts from friends, like Mitch and Sarah, who made sure that they and the baby were alright as well as posted a link to the petition. Big-name celebrities with kids, like Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, as well as Hilary Duff and Matthew Koma, had also come forward in light of the issue to share their experiences of being paparazzi’d with kids. He’d never had the pleasure of meeting them, but was sure to send them messages of thanks.

Ariana Grande had tweeted ‘Sending my love to the Styles Family. It’s scary when you can’t walk down the street with a newborn without being harassed. Please sign the petition to finally start holding those who cross the line accountable.’

Liam Payne texted Harry and mentioned it in one of his Instagram Live videos when asked by fans saying, “Yeah, I spoke to him. Apparently, the guy had bruised the poor baby’s head, but he’s doing alright. They’re a bit shaken by the whole thing, I don’t blame them. It’s-It’s just sad, you know? For all the years I’ve known Harry, he’s the last one to get rattled to the point of fighting someone I’ve met Y/N a few times and well and she was always kind and easy-going. But when you’re worried about the safety of your wife and child, I don’t think anyone could say they’d just sit back and take it. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.”

James Corden dedicated a segment in his show talking about the dangers of paparazzi and his own experiences with being harassed, including the time he was out with his son, and Harry joined them.

“To see, very early on in his career, the amount of people that followed his every step- I mean, he was only with us for a couple of hours and it got so crazy that after thirty minutes I had to have Harry walk a bit ahead of us so that the paparazzi wouldn’t swarm my son. By the end of the day, we were exhausted. I can’t even imagine having to deal with that daily. I know how I felt about it at the time and my son was older. We were a bit more comfortable as parents. But these two have their first, brand new baby. The idea of leaving your house for the first time as new parents and being hounded by volatile people who have no care for anyone but themselves is terrifying. My heart goes out to him and his family,” he finished.

Dozens more came out of the gate to condemn careless paparazzi, but probably the most surprising of them all was Gigi Hadid.

It was no secret that Harry and the model had a strained relationship that dated back to the drama surrounding Zayn’s departure from One Direction. The two never really cared to get to know one another and there was always some unsaid animosity in between them for whatever reason. He never had anything against her. Still, it was there. So, when she spoke out in defense of Harry’s actions, it was in headlines everywhere.

Gigi was very vocal about it on all of her social media platforms, writing rants on Twitter, text posts on Instagram, and even making videos saying, “You know, it’s just disgusting how celebrities can be stalked and harassed every single day by people like these paparazzi and the response is always ‘well, that’s what you signed up for’. It never made sense to me. Like, why is it considered normal? Why does it have to ‘come with the territory?’ These celebrities didn’t sign up to have their lives picked through with a fine-tooth comb. Especially not their spouses or children. They don’t deserve to be harassed or stalked just because of who they fell in love with or made a family with. A lot of people forget that celebrities are just humans.

We’re normal people with abnormal jobs. My job is to model. Harry’s job is to sing. We shouldn’t be in fear to step out of our house that day, afraid of being stalked or our children being hit in the heads with fucking cameras. I’m no stranger to how dangerous and scary paps can be, and since becoming a mom myself, I’m even more cautious. We hardly leave our house. We have so much security it’s unreal. We shouldn’t have to live like this.

Having fans come up to us in the streets and saying hi or taking pictures with us is one thing, but to have these paps shoving their camera in a child’s face, blocking our way out, and endangering them is something else entirely. Paparazzi need to be held to a higher standard and they need to be held accountable. I really feel for them.”

By the end of their vacation, there was so much positive support from fans and other celebs that Harry and Y/N was feeling overwhelmed with love. They both reached out, personally and privately, to as many people as they could to thank them for speaking out and signing the petition. Their team decided that a simple response, in true Harry fashion, would be best. On Instagram, he posted a picture of Paxton’s sandy feet and captioned it,

‘All Is Well. Thank you. With Love, H.’

------------------------------------

Taglist:

@odetostep @mylittleangel9403 @thurhomish @fallingfordolans @gwen-and-harry

[mako-neexu]

ToT stuff i cant get out of my mind bcs CBT ended and im so sosososososo upset

1. Artem Wing

-everything u want in a husband

-best cook omfg

-he’s so gentle

-guides you but lets you find the answers on your own

-knows how to shoot (gosh his SR for that made me squeal)

-will stay by your side until you get better

-Professor Neil Hume pls stop hiding youre making him sad

-he deserves attention and fun

-Celestine: #1 MC x Artem shipper lmao

-his SMILE

-blushing artem makes me wanna go jump off a cliff for him

-i mean who wouldnt fall for him?

2. Marius von Hagen

-hes so CUTE WHEN HES BLUSHING GOD

-he’s so hot what the fuck youve been blessed by the gods

-according to one of his lines in the chat for the conversations, he gets jealous when we talk about “Z” lmao

-will legit buy you a whole store for u (or arcade lmao)

-even if a lot of people will jump at the chance to slander him, he wont do that to others, instead he’ll help them and even give second chances

-he’s very kind

-a teasing flirt though thats for sure

-his art skills are no joke

-i cant stop staring at his che

-he admires people who will drop everything for the sake of a dream/goal

-did i mention that hes so cute when he blushes?

3. Vyn Richter

-HIS EYES!!! THE WAY THE WRITERS DESCRIBE HIS EYES IN EVERY SCENE I SWEAr

-jelly boy 🥺 he just wants MC for himself (carl would get fucking obliterated if he were really trying to catch MC’s attention sifnfkfnekdnfn)

-will absolutely do everything for your hugs EXCEPT ASK FOR ONE (cough false tears cough)

-even if he doesntknow a lot of stuff, he’s willing to learn and be reliable for MC 🥺

-hes too embarrassed to admit that he doesnt know how to do pipe maintenance thats okay youre doing great vyn 🥺

-freaking knows and is good at polo

-knows gardening (his knowledge of flowers....my god)

-his body temp is low that he needs MC because shes warm enough that it leaves him craving for more (YESYEYSYEYSYS TOUCH STARVEDILY)

-when MC is beside him it feels like he’ll go through any lengths for her skfnrkfjrkfnfkxxn

-he makes SWEETS i

-he’s very handsome that every where he goes people just turn their heads and whisper abt his good looks

-he’s also inherited his dad’s love at first sight KAKSSKSKFJFJ however he wants to prove it first. HAH by trying to get close to MC, your nightly self examination on the dictaphone gets shorter because all you can think abt are the event prior to what happened between you and MC KSFNFJFJ youre so cute

4. Luke Pearce

-cutest childhood friend

-very sweet AAAAAAA

-everytime he says “My Watson” i melt

-he’s a very capable detective! as expected of a holmes fanatic lol

-he’s also mysterious since he doesnt have a lot of info despite living in Stellis which makes me wanna get to know him more

-his SMILE MAKES ME ASKGWOAKFNTOFYIWN

-he also remembers all his memories with MC therefore he often recalls a lot of stuff during their childhood and highschool days, seeing a smol luke is just so cute urGhH

-cheeks. pinch. pinch.

-his antique shop is so cool too i wanna explore and ask about it ekfnfkfnfjf

[the-fiction-witch]

Lovely Tag: Lampwick

A - Affection [How affectionate are they with you?]

He can be very affectionate but in his own little way, how he holds your hand and gives you little kisses on your forehead he's never one for showing his affection in any sort of lovey dovey ways but you have leant to somewhat read between the lines to notice just how much like loves you

B - Butter [How much do they coddle you, and how?]

He did try to coddle you early on in the relationship but you're far too smart for that and honestly, he knows you can take care of yourself

C - Confide [How easily do they confide to you?]

It took a long time of courting and dating even a while after you were married before he really opened up about much of anything, but one night after a long day with a storm blowing in across the sea he held you in his arms wrapped up together in bed and told you everything.

D - Defensive [How protective are they over you?]

He can be protective, mostly when other men are around he tends to have a tighter grip on you or pushed you behind him a little, but he knows you can take care of yourself and actually kinda likes when you slap and tell of men who try to pinch your dress

E - Exhausted [How do they take care of you when you're tired or feeling low?]

He broke the normality a little being as he was not educated or trained in anyway, you went off to work daily and he stayed home taking care of the house and eventually of your children too, he would see you were low the moment you stepped in the door of your little cottage, he would make you a cup of tea and let you sit by the fire with a blanket maybe give you your little baby girl to cuddle and he'll make sure you smile for the rest of the night

F - Fluffy [How sappily sweet can they get?]

He doesn't get sappily sweet very much but he likes giving you a tight squeeze when he cuddles you

G - Game [How much do they play around, and are they a tease?]

He likes to tease you, he likes giving your butt a slap whenever you bend over or whenever he walks past you but you tend to give him a shove anyway

H - Happy [What's their favourite thing to do with you, that makes them happy?]

He loves taking you for a walk on the beach, holding your hand tightly as you stroll down the sand together maybe sitting down and having some sweets to watch the sun go down.

I - Initiate [Do they make the first move?]

He will always wait for you

J - Jealousy [How jealous can they get and how do they show it?]

His grip tightens and he makes sure to glare at anyone he see's as a threat

L - Love [How do they react to you giving them affection?]

He will look away and have a little honey glow in his cheeks a minuet

M - Married [What's it like to be married to them?]

He's a good husband, he takes care of the house, makes you dinner every day and does his best to take care of your children while you're at work

N - Newborn [How are they with having kids, and how would they be as a parent?]

He does... okay. not great. but okay.

O - Outdoors [How are they with you in public?]

Very reserved but he'll keep hold of your hand to make sure know one tries anything

P - Propose [How would they propose, and when would that be?]

You actually proposed, on the beach one night after a long walk "I think we should get married?"

"You do? uhhh yeah I'd like that." He blushed "Are you asking?"

"Yeah, I am"

Q - Quarrel [How are they after a fight, and will they try to make amends right after?]

he gets very stubborn and often just goes silent for a while, but he'll make you some tea and give you some flowers when he comes around and accepts he's wrong.

R - Romantic [How much of a hopeless romantic are they, and how do they show it?]

He is a little secretive with it, but that makes it feel all the more real because its the little things, the little cups of tea when your home, the little kisses when your half asleep, talking without saying a word.

S - Snuggles [Do they like to cuddle, and how do they do it?]

He loves a cuddle, he likes sitting on the sofa by the fire with your legs across his lap his arms around your waist with your head nuzzled into his neck so he can squeeze and snuggle with you extra points if your little girl is nuzzled up in your arms too

T - Touchy [How touch starved are they, and would they show it?]

He gets much more kissy when he want's attention

U - Urchin [What's one negative trait about them that hurts you?]

He has a bit of a history in town from all the stealing and such so you do tend to get glares and such when you go out even more since you got married and had your daughter people tended to look at you like you were a little grime family.

V - Vibe [What energy do they give off when you're with them?]

He gives off a sweet little joy

W- Wedding [What are they like at their wedding?]

Very very blushy, and giggly

X - Xtreme [What lengths would they go to for you?]

He would do anything for you, if someone tried you then

Y - Yogurt [What's their ideal place for a date?]

the beach, with a blanket on the sand and some sweets to watch the sea

Z - Zipper [What clothes do they like seeing you in?]

He loves your dress with the exposed like corset section at the front, he likes that not sure why he just kinda likes how you look in it

[idnek83]

Can u write something about soudam wedding?

I’m sorry this took like 3 weeks to answer, but here you go: 4.3k word worth of Soudam wedding ramblings.

(This is for a western style wedding by the way)

Wedding Planning

Neither of them know what they’re doing, cus neither of them ever really spent much time thinking about weddings growing up, much less their own weddings lol

So one day, after they’re engaged, they’re just hanging out with some friends. They’re on a couch, Soda’s laying with his head in Gundham’s lap, just vibing, then their friends start asking about what they have planned. They both kind of look at each other and shrug, cus they have planned literally nothing, they just know they kind of want to get married on their anniversary, but that’s really all they’ve got lol.

Sonia like presses them for ideas cus they must have at least some idea of what they want, right?

Soda looks up at Gundham and is like ‘probably lots of black stuff, yeah?’

Gundham nods and looks down at him ‘perhaps with vibrant accents in your preferred colors as well?’

Soda’s like ‘Oooh and we could have like an animal theme maybe?? OH! OR A ROBOT ANIMAL THEME????’ and Gundhams just like ‘whatever makes you happy’ and they throw out a couple more terrible ideas while Sonia silently suffers lol.

Eventually they’re laughing at their own stupid ideas and Sonia is just glad they actually realize their ideas were dumb and they didn’t seriously want a goth robot hamster ice sculpture lol. They admit they don’t super care how it all goes down, they both just want to get married and have fun with all their friends at the reception.

Sonia offers to take care of the planning and stuff with her team of professionals (Yes she has a team on wedding planners okay, she’s the kind of person who has been planning her wedding since she was 9 and also she’s a princess so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). She seems really excited and Soda and Gundham really don’t know what they’re doing so they agree to let her handle it as long as they get the final say on things. She immediately starts rambling about all her ideas and Soda and Gundham just kind of chuckle and smile at each other.

 Suit shopping

Fuyuhiko takes them suit shopping. They go together, they aren’t too concerned about keeping their outfits a secret from each other and they figure it’ll be fun to watch each other try on all kind of different things. Sonia comes too of course.

They start kind of idlily browsing sample suits (they’re getting custom suits made, Fuyuhiko wouldn’t hear otherwise) and Sonia asks what kind of suits they’d like to see each other in. They both stop and look at each other, and Fuyu rolls his eyes cus they’re just blatantly checking each other out lol.

Eventually Soda shrugs and is like “I don’t really care. As long as I get to see Gundham looking hot as hell in a tux I’m good with whatever” and Gundham kind of tilts his head and is like “So you would prefer me to wear a tuxedo?” Soda is dumb as hell and doesn’t realize Gundham is not using ‘tuxedo’ as a synonym for ‘suit’ like he was, so he gets super blushy and is like “Oh. I-I mean if you were thinking about a dress instead that’s cool too.” And Gundham’s eyes just widen a bit because he was not thinking about wearing a dress but now he’s thinking about Soda in a big, white, full skirted wedding dress. Soda is picturing Gundham in something a little more fitted with a high slit. They’re both just blushing and staring at each other until Fuyu clears his throat and tells Soda that a tuxedo is a type of suit, and he’s pretty sure that’s what Gundham meant. Soda just hides his face in his hands and apologizes. Gundham comes over to kiss his forehead and tell him it’s okay, and eventually they get back to looking at suits lol

Gundham’s done pretty quick. He does end up picking a tuxedo, and I’m not great at fashion but Just picture something black, very gothic, and a tiny bit extra haha. Soda super excited to see it once it’s done being made, cus Gundham already looked amazing in the sample suit. He maybe gets a little emotional looking at his fiancé all dressed up knowing it’s for their wedding, but nobody says anything and Gundham just smiles at him softly.

Soda has a lot more trouble. He doesn’t want to ruin their wedding by wearing something tacky so he’s trying to stick to traditional black. But every time he comes out and looks at himself in the full length mirror he can’t help but feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t look like himself,  he thinks he looks like some kid borrowing his dad’s suit for prom.

He’s on like the 12th sample suit, he’s trying all kinds of styles and different lapels and undershirts/vest combos but he still just feels like trash in all of them. This suit fits him like a glove, accentuates all of his best features, and he honestly looks so good in it. Sonia and Fuyuhiko are telling him as much, along with whatever staff are around.

But Soda still doesn’t feel like himself. And Gundham can tell.

Gundham comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist and they both just look at themselves in the mirror for a moment. Gundham makes a point of frowning as he looks at the suit and Soda laughs at how obviously exaggerated it is. It’s the first time he’s genuinely smiled in at least an hour.

“What’s wrong, babe? Don’t like it?”

“Hmm… perhaps if it was yellow… maybe blue?”

Soda laughs but he feels a little self conscious. He really doesn’t want to make their wedding tacky, but he just doesn’t feel right in such… boring colors. He tells Gundham as much. Gundham hums and kisses his cheek, still holding him from behind, and asks to see color samples for the suits materials while Soda insists he’ll be fine and he’ll just get used to the black.

Someone brings Gundham a collection of cloth samples, and he finally separates from his fiancé to stand in front of him and hold them up, one by one. Soda is insisting black is fine the whole time. Eventually Gundham stops, holding up a sort of deep red, and tilts his head. Soda looks at the color; he likes it, but he’s still worried it would be kind of tacky. Gundham asks for someone to bring him a jacket in that color.

He puts it on Soda and grabs a black suit jacket and a red tie for himself, before standing next to Soda and linking their arms. Soda looks in the mirror and, hey, that’s not too bad, the red actually looks pretty classy, and paired up with Gundham’s tie it looks…

He starts crying, but it’s mostly relief and happiness. Fuyu laughs at him but tells him he looks good and Sonia just smiles while Gundham pulls him into a hug. They order the 12th suit in red, and every time Soda tries t apologize for being so difficult Gundham just shuts him up with a kiss lol.

Wedding Traditions and Stuff

They start talking about wedding traditions one day after having a conversation with Sonia about how the wedding plans are going. The first thing that comes up is the whole ‘bride walking down the aisle’ thing since, obviously, there isn’t gonna be a bride. Gundham suggests they both just walk out together, but Soda kind of wants that moment where he’s standing at the alter and gets to watch Gundham walk down the aisle towards him. Gundham just smiles and kisses him and says he’s like that too.

Soda suggests they take dance lessons or something so they can have a cool first dance. Gundham says they can if he really wants to, but he would rather just be able to hold Soda close and sway to the music without having to worry about memorized steps. Soda blushes and agrees, he mostly suggested it cus he thought Gundham would like it anyways.

Neither of them really care about name changes. They both offer to change theirs, but in the end they just decide to keep their own names.

Sonia (jokingly) mentions being disappointed because there won’t be a bouquet toss, and Chiaki (also jokingly) responds that Gundham should just toss a single rose into the crowd like tuxedo mask. He agrees to do it (not jokingly)

They both write their own stupid sappy vows, it’s not even something they have to discuss.

Hajime is Soda’s best man, Sonia is Gundham’s. She insists on being called ‘best man’ instead of ‘maid of honor’ or ‘best woman’ because she likes the way it sounds lol.

They pick a very classic décor theme, but add in a lot of black accents for the aesthetic✨

They decide to do that thing where they spend the night before the wedding apart and don’t see each other again until the actual ceremony.

Bachelor Party

Soda wasn’t planning on having his own bachelor party, he figured they could just have like a joint bachelor party at their house or something because he loves his fiancé and prefers to party with him lol. But then Fuyuhiko, Hajime, and Nekomaru are carrying him out the front door while Gundham casually waves and tells him to have fun lol (They absolutely got Gundham’s permission before kidnapping his man haha).

(Gundham invites Sonia over for wine and calls it his bachelor party. They watch the bachelor and laugh about how funny they are.)

Soda is thrown in the back seat of one of Fuyu’s fancy cars with blacked out windows and yells at his friends for like the whole trip while they just laugh at him lol. They eventually get to a bar and Soda is just super relieved it’s not a strip club, Hajime tells him it’s cus Gundham wouldn’t let him, but Fuyu and Nekomaru insist it’s cus they have more class than that. (Whose lying? You choose lol).

They get a table and a round of shots as soon as they get inside. It’s actually pretty laid back as far as bachelor parties go, they mostly just sit and talk, and get Soda gushing about his soon to be husband lol. At one point, after a couple drinks, they do like a chugging contest for the first time since they graduated uni and Soda wins. Fuyu is just like ‘wtf when did you get so good at this?” and Soda is like “Well, thanks to Gundham I’ve gotten really good at swallowing” and everybody just fucking groans while he loses his mind laughing lol

As the night goes on Soda just gets sappier and sappier and starts complaining about how much he misses his boyfriend. Nekomaru pats him on the back and is like ‘he isn’t even your boyfriend anymore, he’s your fiancé’ and Soda just light up like ‘yeah… I’m so lucky…’ before he stops and his eyes go wide. The other guys kind of look at each other, confused, before Hajime’s like ‘uh, you good dude?’ and Soda’s just like ‘oh my god, he’s my fiancé! We’re gonna get fucking married next week!! Holy shit that means he’s gonna be my husband! I have to tell him!’ and the guys just laugh while he dials Gundham.

Gundham is surprised to get a call from Soda and gets a little worried, so he answers like ‘is everything alright, my paramour?’ and Soda is just like ‘Holy shit Gundham! Did you realize we’re gonna be husbands??!?’ and Gundham just laughs and relaxes while telling Soda that, yes, he did realize they were going to be husbands lol

Soda just rambles away on the phone about how excited he is to marry Gundham and how he promises to be a good husband and how much he loves him. The other guys roll their eyes and decide it’s probably time to call it a night lol.

When Soda gets home he immediately attaches himself to Gundham and tells him how much he missed him lol. Gundham just pets his hair and gets them both ready for bed as he asks if Soda enjoyed his bachelor party. He says his favorite part was when his fiancé kissed him good night, and Gundham just rolls his eyes and does it haha

The Wedding

Soda is super nervous the night before (not in a ‘I’m not ready for this’ way, he’s just excited and scared he’s gonna say/do something dumb or that something terrible is gonna happen and ruin the whole thing) and he ends up calling Gundham from his hotel room at like midnight and talking about all his worries (“What if I say ‘I don’t’ by accident and we have to do the whole wedding again?” “What if I have to pee in the middle of our vows?” “What if we get to the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part and like, Nekomaru suddenly decides he’s in love with you? There’s no way I could take him in a fight!”). Gundham smiles as he reassures Soda that whatever happens, they’ll get through it, and that he doesn’t really care what happens, as long as he gets to call Soda his husband by the end of the day.

They fall asleep telling each other how excited they are.

In the morning their respective best men wake them and help them get ready. Gundham styles his hair up and Soda puts his in a low ponytail, and they both put on their fancy new custom suits (They both got ties to match each other’s suits too haha). They’re both a little nervous but Hajime and Sonia are ready with all kinds of compliments and reassurances, and they get both grooms out their doors and on the road right on time.

Gundham gets to the venue first, and he’s a little taken aback by how good it looks. Sonia gushes about all the little details while Gundham just half listens and thanks her. He’s looking at the flower arrangements sitting in classy black vases, the chairs covered in white cloth held in place with black ribbon, and noticing all kinds of subtly gothic touches Sonia added to the décor. Soda may have been worried about making the wedding tacky with his suit, but Gundham had been worried about making it tacky with shitty gothic decorations. He’s amazed with how well Sonia managed to pull it off. He grabs both her hands and sincerely tells her that he loves her and that she is, and always will be, his dearest friend. They both get a little teary and hug it out haha.

Then Hajime ruins it by kicking in the front door and saying something like ‘Gundham you look hot as fuck, but get out of my sight right now so I can bring your stupid ass fiancé in. Also, hey Sonia, great job decorating.’ Lol

Sonia and Gundham head off into a little room to wait for the ceremony to start, and Hajime heads back out to get Soda. When Soda gets inside he’s just as impressed by the décor as Gundham was. He thinks it’s all very Gundham and he loves it. Hajime tells him he tried to get Sonia to throw in some hot pink roses for Soda and Soda is just like ‘thank god Sonia didn’t listen to you.’ Lol

Soda just heads right into the main hall, just taking in all the amazing décor until his eyes land on the wedding arch. He stares at it and it just really hit him that this is happening. He’s about to marry the love of his life. He’s about to be able to call Gundham his husband. He’s about to be Gundham’s husband. He starts tearing up and Hajime pats him on the back, smiling ‘Come on, ya big sap, lets get you married’

Hajime gets Soda up to the front to take his place under the arch and Sonia comes out to see how things are going. Everything is pretty much ready and the officiant is ready to go, so Sonia heads back to Gundham’s room and the officiant signals everyone to take their seats so they can get things started. Soda’s regained his composure in the tie it took everyone to settle down, and Hajime gives him one last pat on the back before he takes his place to the side and the music starts.

Soda looks up as the door opens and he sears the image into his mind immediately.

Gundham looks amazing, he always does, but there’s just something extra to it in that moment. He’s glowing, Soda decides, and as their eyes lock he feels himself tearing up again. It only gets worse as Gundham gets closer, it’s not long before he’s full on crying. He’s jut so overwhelmed with love and happiness, and he almost wants to sip all the vows and wedding rites and just be married already.

Gundham’s not doing much better. He’s vaguely aware of their friends and family waving to him and complimenting him or congratulating him as he passes, but he’s way too focused on Soda to really care. He looks so handsome in his deep red suit with his hair tied back, and he’s frozen, clutching his hands in front of him nervously the way he had been when Gundham entered. Gundham want’s to run to him, sweep him off his feet and just declare them married himself, but he manages to hold himself back. He doesn’t hold back his tears nearly as well though, and a few roll down his cheeks before he makes it to the altar.

When Gundham gets to Soda he immediately pulls him into a tight hug, Soda wrapping his arms around him just as quickly, and then they’re both laughing through their tears. Gundham gently strokes Soda’s hair, careful not to mess it up, and kisses his forehead. Sonia scoffs to let Gundham know he’s on thin ice for that, she’s very into wedding traditions, but lets it slide since it technically isn’t a real kiss lol.

They eventually pull themselves away from each other a bit and try to wipe away each other’s tears at the same time. It’s a little awkward but they’re happy and don’t care, they just keep staring at each other as they finally step back, still holding hands, and signal to the officiant that they’re ready to start.

Soda says his vows first, it’s on purpose, he wanted to go first cus he knew he would be too busy crying after Gundham’s vows haha. He’s like shaking really hard when he starts, cus he hates public speaking and he’s embarrassed to be so sappy in front of all their friends, but as he talks he watches Gundham light up and it just gets easier and easier, until he’s only shaking from the effort it’s taking not to kiss his groom.

Everyone is expecting Gundham’s vows to be long winded and extra extra, but to their surprise they’re pretty straight forward. Gundham explains, as part of his vows, that he doesn’t need extravagant metaphors to express his love and he wants to speak plainly and clearly, in hopes of expressing how clear his feelings for Soda are (he said he doesn’t need metaphors, nut technically the whole thing is a metaphor lol). Soda is in fact crying well before he finishes, and the only things that stop them from kissing once Gundham stops talking are a stern cough from Sonia and a disapproving tut from Hajime lol

The officiant does their thing, Soda and Gundham requested a shortened version of the usual spiel cus they didn’t want to have to stand through a stupidly long ceremony, but even that feels way too long to them haha. When they get to the ‘speak now or forever hold you peace’ part, Gundham raises a non-existent brow at Soda before gazing pointedly at Nekomaru for a second. Soda snorts and laughs and nobody else gets it, but no one speaks up either haha

Gundham is the first to say ‘I do’, then Soda nearly cuts the officiant off with his own ‘I do’ before they can even finish the question haha. The officiant basically steps out of the way while saying ;you may now kiss cus they can tell these two have no patience lol.

They both lean in before the officiant even finishes speaking. Their lips meet and Soda wraps his arms around Gundham’s neck while Gundham pulls him in by his waist. Their friends are cheering and clapping and both of them are crying again.

They both smile and laugh as they part and make their way back down the aisle, thanking all their friends and family, before heading outside to get some photos taken.

Photos take literal hours (wedding party, friends, family, just them, each of them separate, each of them separate with friends, separate with family, now each individual family member with both of them and each of them separately, etc, etc), and they’re both pretty tired by the end of it. They end up heading back to Gundham’s little waiting room to take a nap together.

Sonia sends Mahiru in to get a picture of them cuddled together on the little couch. Both of them have their suit jackets off, their ties loose, and a couple shirt buttons undone. Soda is lying between Gundham’s legs, head resting sideways on his chest and drooling a little. Gundham as his arms wrapped around Soda’s back and his cheek is pressed against his hair. One of Gundham’s legs is dangling off the front of the too narrow couch, along with one of Soda’s arms.

Despite how sloppy they both look, it’s one of their favorite pictures from their wedding day.

The Reception

When Soda and Gundham wake up from their nap like an hour later, they spend like a solid 20 minutes just tenderly making out being all ‘hey you’re my husband now and I’m gonna keep saying the word husband until we’re both sick of it’ haha (neither of them get sick of it). Eventually Sonia and Hajime come get them, Hajime makes a comment like ‘haha save something for your wedding night guys’ and Sonia is just bluntly like ‘yeah, you two will have plenty of time to fuck later’ lol

They all grab something to eat before the reception because Soda and Gundham have barely eaten anything all day.

Their first dance is literally just them holding each other and kissing and swaying to the music, and Soda is so glad Gundham didn’t want to take dance lessons cus he doesn’t want to do anything but hold and kiss his husband in that moment. After the first dance the champagne starts flowing freely and formal atmosphere dissolves pretty quickly lol

Gundham and Soda have both ditched their jackets and are alternating between chatting and laughing with their friends and rocking out on the dance floor (they’re terrible dancers but it’s their wedding and no one is allowed to judge them lol). They’re both kind of acting like they’re drunk but they haven’t actually had that much to drink, they’re just stupid happy. They keep sneaking off to make out, only for Hajime or Sonia to drag them back lol

By the mid night Gundham has lost his tie (They threw it on the ground during one of their make outs and both of them forgot lol) and Soda has some fresh hickies on his neck, and Sonia and Hajime decide they’ve fulfilled their socialization quota and finally release them lol. They thought about getting a hotel room, but they both agreed they would rather just spend their first night as a married couple in their own bed.

The Wedding Night 👀

(suggestive but not explicit)

They start making out the second they get in the limo (courtesy of the Kuzuryu family) to take them home. They can’t keep their hands off each other, but they manage to keep their clothes on for now haha.

Once they make it home they’re stumbling over each other to get to the door, but then Soda freezes when they get it unlocked and Gundham is just like ??? Soda looks at him wide eyed and is just like ‘I want to do the thing’ and before Gundham can figure out what he means, Soda literally sweeps him off his feet and carries him bridal style into their home. Gundham just laughs and lets it happen.

Soda throws Gundham onto the bed and jumps on top of him, resuming their earlier make outs for  bit before Gundham pushes him back. Its Soda’s turn to be like ??? but Gundham just says he has a surprise for him and heads off to the bathroom.

Soda is 100% expecting lingerie, but when Gundham steps out in a lacy white baby doll with matching white panties and stockings he nearly dies from joy.

Gundham says he noticed the way Soda had reacted to the idea of him in a wedding dress during their suit fitting and went out to buy this outfit pretty much right after. Maybe it wasn’t quite a wedding dress, but it definitely had a bridal feeling to it.

Once some of Soda’s blood makes it back up to his brain, he smirks and points out that Gundham doesn’t really qualify for the whole wearing white on your wedding day thing’ and Gundham’s like ‘hmm, really? Better make sure, just in case’

It’s all really tender, filled with reverent kisses and I love you’s and a couple of happy tears, and by the end of it both of them are completely naked and cuddled up, smiling as they look at the new matching gold rings adorning their fingers.

They both fall asleep thinking about how excited they are to spend the rest of their lives together.

[hopelikethemoon]

Painting (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Painting Rating: PG Length: 2200 Warnings: Fluff (mild discussions of death) Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here.Set in 1999. Did ya’ll miss me? Summary: Reader and Javier paint Josie’s room.

@grapemama​​​​​​​ @seawhisperer​​​​​​​ @huliabitch​​​​​​​ @beccaplaying​​​​​​​ @thewallpapergoesorido​​​​​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​​​​​​ @gooddaykate​​​​​​ @livasaurasrex​​​���​​​ @ham4arrow​​​​​​​ @plexflexico​​​​​​​ @readsalot73​​​​​​​ @hdlynn​​​​​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​​​​​ @randomness501​​​​​​​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​​​​​​  @roxypeanut​​​​​​​ @snivellusim​​​​​​​ @lukesrighthand​​​​​​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​​​​​​ @awesomefandomsunited​​​​​​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​​​​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​​​​​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​​​​​​ @ah-callie​​​​​​​ @swhiskeys​​​​​​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​​​​​ @u-wakatoshii​​ @space-floozy​​​​​​​ @cable-kenobi​​​​​​​ @cool-ultra-nerd​​​​ @himbopoes​​​​​​​ @findhimfives​​ @pedrosdoll​​​​​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​​​​​ @arrowswithwifi​​​​​​​  @cinewhore​​​​​​​ @random066​​​​​​​ @uncomicalhumour​​​​​​​ @heather-lynn​​​​​​​ @domino-oh-damn​​​​​​​ @cyarikaaa​​​​​​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​​​​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​​​​​​ @yabby-girl​​​​​​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​​​​​ @punkass-potato​​ @coredrive​​​​​​​ @pascalesque​​​​​​​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​​​​​​​ @queenquazar​​​​​​​ @sabinemorans​​​​​​​ @buckstaposition​​​​ @holkaskrosnou​​​​ @yespolkadotkitty​​​​​​​@seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​​​​​​ @jaime1110​​​​​​​ @katlikeme​​

“The new dresser should go over here,” Javier states, hands on his hips as he looked around the empty bedroom.

You stepped in close to Javier, wrapping your arms around his waist as you tilted your chin and looked up at him, “Hi.” 

“Hi, baby.” Javier said with a warm grin, curling his hand around your hip. “I thought we were painting.”

“We are.” You gave his ass a playful squeeze before artfully pinching the pocket knife out for his back pocket. “I just needed this.” You flicked it open with your thumb and brandished it in front of him. 

You stepped away from him, kneeling down by the gallon of paint, using the blade to pop open the can. 

Javier chuckled and crouched down beside you, grabbing the plastic tray liner and fitting it into the metal paint tray. “Let’s hope JoJo likes this color choice this time.”

“Not wanting to paint for her a third time?” You teased lightly as you used the wooden stick to stir the paint, “It’s a little brighter than I expected.” You pursed your lips as you watched the paint drip back into the can off the stirrer. 

Javier picked up the lid, flipping it over to compare the paint to the dried sample on the top. “I think it’ll look different once it goes up on the wall.”

“It’s a good color.” You were a little sad to see the dusty yellow walls go away. Javier had painted Josie’s room while you were pregnant with Sofía, while he was working on her nursery. 

Sofia’s room was a cool sage green, not dissimilar from the colors that you’d used in Josie’s first nursery in Colombia. You preferred neutral colors that went with everything. But now that Josie was having sleepovers with school friends and not just the Murphy girls — she wanted something a little more exciting. 

You were just glad you’d been able to talk her out of a Barney-purple into a nice shade of lavender. Josie had been a clever girl. She waited until she went to Home Depot alone with her father to talk him into repainting her bedroom. She was a big girl now, after all.  

Of course Javier hadn’t been able to say no to her. 

“Hopefully we won’t have to paint again.” Javier remarked as he slid the paint roller onto the handle. “At least until Sofía’s older.”

“I already told Josie she’s gonna have to wait until she’s sixteen.” You laughed, grabbing hold of the handle and tipping the paint into the pan. 

Javier made a face as you looked up at him, “That’s still a long ways out.”

“Not really.” You pointed out, wiping the paint you got on your thumb onto your coveralls. “Blink and she’ll be graduating high school tomorrow.”

“Nope.” He shook his head, picking up the pan of paint and taking it over to the wall he was starting on. “She’s staying six forever.” 

You rolled your eyes, “If only that were possible.” You poured paint into a smaller dish, grabbing the angled paint brush to work on the area around the windows. “Frankly, I’m looking forward to sixty-year-old Javier getting hit on at his daughter’s high school graduation, while he blubbers like a baby.”

“That’s an oddly specific fantasy, baby.”

“I have many.” 

“Yeah?”

You hummed, “Some include the dramatic reveal where we’ve been married for a decade.” 

Javier snorted, “Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t know,” You said as you dipped the brush into the paint, spreading some onto the wall around the window. “Maybe when Sofía’s sixteen and begging for a car, I’ll just tell her to go talk to my husband. Just let it settle.”

“I did have a dream once where I was telling Steve I was already married.” 

“Was he offering?” You glanced back over your shoulder, smirking at his scandalized look. “What?”

“No.” Javier rolled his eyes, turning his back to you as he started rolling the paint out across the wall. “I don’t really remember why we were discussing marriage. Might’ve been one of his rants about bachelor parties.”

“Do you feel like you missed out on that?” You questioned, dipping your brush into the paint again. 

“I think Steve feels like I have.” He huffed, “I might be a few years removed from college, but I think he’s projecting.” 

“Of course he is.” You laughed. “I can’t imagine he had one when he and Connie got married.” You glanced back at him again. “Is this something the two of you discuss?”

He looked at you then, “Not really. We’ve had a couple conversations about it. Steve doesn’t get it.” 

 “I mean, Connie’s never really understood the choice either.” You shrugged, “Little do they know.”

“It still doesn’t feel real.” Javier admitted, loosely rolling the painting stick in his grip, before dipping it into the paint and rolling more out on the wall. “I sometimes wonder where I’d be.”

“If that night hadn’t happened?” You questioned, glancing back at him to see him nod. “Yeah. I think about it sometimes too.” 

“Would we still be in Colombia?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “If that night hadn’t happened at all… If things hadn’t changed, I’d like to think we’d still be down there putting up with bullshit. But eventually, something would’ve happened.”

“Yeah.” Javier exhaled heavily. “I think I was running myself into the ground.”

“You were.” Your brows furrowed as you focused on painting the wall. “We both were. There’s only so long you can run from yourself.” 

“Look at you, parroting Nancy.” Javier teased lightly. 

You laughed softly, “I mean, she’s not wrong. I think we both hated who we became in Colombia.” 

“Wasn’t my proudest version of myself.” He agreed with a short humourless laugh. 

“What is your proudest version?” You questioned, wiping paint off on your coveralls. 

“When I read the girls stories at night.” Javier answered without hesitation. “Yeah. It’s when I feel like I’ve made my parents proud. You know? Always wanted to make pops proud of me.” 

“I know for a fact that he’s proud of you.” You told him, sitting your paint brush in the container and sitting it down on the floor. 

“Yeah,” Javier muttered, keeping his focus on painting. “Don’t get me started on that.” 

“Alright.” You conceded. You weren’t about to push the topic of Chucho. 

During the holidays, after a long conversation about your father with Mitch, Chucho had broached the topic of what he wanted when he eventually died. Javier and Chucho had sat outside on the patio and shared a joint while they discussed everything. 

There was nothing wrong with Chucho, but he wanted to be prepared like your father had. But Javier had carefully avoided any conversation that could circle back to that one. 

You couldn’t blame him. Chucho had this sort of immortal spirit about him that seemed wrong to regard by mortal standards. 

“You know,” You started, hands on your hips as you turned back to look at him. “That’s something you and I should probably think about too.”

“You’re wanting to talk about wills while we’re painting JoJo’s room?” Javier sat the roller in the tray and sat it down on the drop cloth carefully. “Cheery topic.” 

“After what happened with Sofía—“

“You mean the worst fucking day of my life?” Javier held your gaze. “Going over things with the social worker was… something I’d rather forget.” 

“I know.” 

“I’ve seen you hooked up to shit in the hospital three times now.” Javier gritted out. 

You nodded your head slowly, “Not looking to add to that number. But it is something we need to think about. I mean, fortunately we’re married now which gives us a little more control over things, but…”

“But I’m trying to paint my kid’s room.” He gave you a look. “And not plan our joint funeral.”

“At least we’re on the same page there.” You grinned. “Everyone always says they want their partner to move on, live their life, find love...”

Javier held your gaze, “I don’t know if I could do all of this without it you. I got too close to finding out.” 

You stepped towards him, “Losing you is my one fear.”

Javier reached out and curled his hand around your hip, “Pops never could move on. I don’t think he even tried. We’re stubborn men.”

“Just how I like my Peña men.” You wound your arms around him, resting your cheek against his chest. “I just want to make sure the girls are okay. I want them to have the best life possible.”

He kissed the top of your head, “They will, baby.” He assured you, rubbing his hand down the length of your back. “With both of us.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, a soft smile playing over your lips. “That is what I want.” You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, leaning up to press your lips to his. “You have paint in your hair.”

Javier gave your hip a squeeze, “I wonder where I got it from.” He grabbed your hand, holding it up and showing off the stripe of paint smeared along the side of your hand. 

“It’s dry.” You retorted, twisting your wrist out of his hand sweeping your hand over his face. “Okay, I thought it was dry.” You tried not to laugh as you stared at the purple streak on his cheek. 

Javier shook his head slowly, “Is this how it’s gonna go?” 

“Maybe.” You smirked, walking towards the can of open paint and dipping the tips of your fingers into it. “Come here.

“Oh, no!” He laughed, taking a step back. “We are not doing this.” 

“Come here!” You pursued him, wiggling your paint covered fingers at him. “I don’t want to get this on the floor.”

“There’s an easy way to keep that from happening.” Javier gave you a look, side stepping out of your reach, but laughing as you grabbed onto the back of his belt. “Come on, we’ve got painting to do.”

“Turn around then.” You urged, letting go of his belt so he could actually turn around. “You are no fun.” You taunted, painting your finger down the length of his nose. 

He cocked his head to the side, “I’m very fun.” 

“Are you?” You gave him a skeptical look. “I’ve seen your end of the year reviews, babe. I don’t think anyone has ever used fun to describe you.” 

“That’s a low blow.” Javier wiped off some of the paint from his nose, smearing it over your forehead. “You and I seem to have plenty of fun in the bedroom, baby.” 

You pursed your lips thoughtfully, “I suppose that’s true. You can be very fun behind closed doors.” You smeared paint down the length of his arm.

Javier moved swiftly, wrapping his arms around you and turning you in his hold to pin you to his chest. “Looks like you’ve got a little paint on you now.” He said lowly, rubbing the paint from his nose onto the crook of your neck. 

You half-heartedly attempted to get out of his hold, before sinking back against his chest. “What a shame.” You laughed, reaching behind you to get ahold of his hair. “I wonder if paint washes off.” 

“Ha.” He tightened his hold on you, “Lavender looks good on you.” He whispered close to your ear, “But it looks better on the wall.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You laughed, elbowing him in the ribs. 

“The sooner we get the room painted, the sooner we can take advantage of an afternoon without the girls.” 

“What are you thinking?” You questioned, tilting your head back to look at him. “A nap?”

Javier whistled, “Tempting.”

“Right?” 

He loosened his hold on you so you could turn around to face him. “Yeah, actually.” Javier’s lips drew upwards are the corners as he met your eyes, “It would be a long overdue nap.”

You arched a playful brow, “What? Has Sofía been keeping you up too?”

Javier rolled his eyes, “Even JoJo wasn’t this clingy at two.” 

“It’ll pass.” You shrugged. “I’m not looking to do the co-sleeping thing indefinitely.” 

“She’s lucky she’s cute.” Javier folded his arms across his chest, shaking his head. “But I could do without the foot in my face every morning.”

“She sleeps like you.” 

Javier scoffed, “Upside down with a foot in my face?”

“Constantly needing to touch who she’s sleeping next to.”

He rocked his jaw slowly before agreeing, “Yeah, I suppose I do sleep like that.” He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, “It’s been a week.” 

You gestured around the room, “And I’m hoping that with JoJo sleeping in Sof’s room for the next couple of nights, we might get our bed back.”

“Clever.”

“I have my moments.” 

“You know these coveralls are doing it for me.” Javier remarked, plucking at the fabric at your waist. 

“Oh, you poor sleep deprived man.” You gave his cheek a pat before stepping around him. “I’m flattered.”

“You should be.” 

You shot him a look, “Paint.”

He grinned back at you. 

[softlyblues]

hi I read your answer about moist! I agree. :) I was wondering based on what you said if you ship vetvimes or not?

fhi, thanks very much! 

i think vetvimes have a rly interesting and nuanced dynamic. i’m all in for the memes, of course i am, but i don’t really ship it so much as i think vetinari/vimes/sybil have a rly interesting, basically canonical relationship, involving if not vimes w/ both of them, then all three of them with each other. i rly hope u dont mind bc im about to go off on one lmao. 

i recently reread guards guards and what got me (and i know from a doylist pov it’s because pterry hadnt finalised the universe yet) was the inequality in vetvimes dynamic. vetinari pities vimes and holds him at arms length, and vimes is a very stupid but very earnest drunkard. he’s a pitiable figure when he asks for a small raise and a dartboard, and vetinari doesn’t take him seriously. 

through men at arms/feet of clay/jingo we see the dynamic we know and love growing. it’s been a while since i’ve read them all, but im gonna get up some scenes that i think are super important to vet/vimes/sybil... and yes this includes the gonne scene. (:D)

so here is the scene right after vetinari is shot. here is really, imo, the first time vimes stops seeing vetinari as one of his Betters - vimes is in his element, calm even, and vetinari asks him what to do. vetinari speaks slowly, almost stuttering, and i read a lot of fear into that line “i appear... to be losing a lot of blood.”

and then vimes outright accuses vetinari of not doing the right thing. can you IMAGINE guards guards vimes doing something like that? vimes holds vetinari to account, and vetinari allows him. i also think it’s significant that this all happens at vimes & sybil’s wedding; we know sybil and vetinari are friends, old friends, and the wedding continues on despite the attack. vimes has time to save sybil AND vetinari, without sacrificing one for the other. that’s really the central point of men at arms: vimes doesn’t have to retire to have time for his wife and for the watch. he can multitask without losing either. 

feet of clay is another important leveler book for vetinari and vimes. for most of the book, vetinari is slowly dying, trusting basically nobody but drumknott and vimes to come into his room - he does know what’s going on, yes, but he trusts vimes to not need his help to work the thing out. vetinari does stay ahead, and he does have the advantage, but he doesn’t feel the need to help vimes; he respects him, and treats him as though he’s on the same level as him. this is really important for vimes’ perception of himself going from drunkard to someone who has people relying on him, and as someone who can be trusted. in order for vetinari and vimes to have any relationship, they need to not only be on a level, but they both need to know they are as well. i think vetinari has no problem knowing this, but sam is very unreliable when it comes to an account of his own intelligence, bravery, and merit. i mean. he remains, right up until the end of snuff, convinced that he is a Bad Person who has Snuck Into Someone Else’s Happy Life and is waiting for the other shoe, yknow, so men at arms/feet of clay are important books for hauling vimes up onto vetinari’s platform so they both know they’re equals. 

sybil is HUGELY important in this, and part of the reason i dislike traditional vetvimes is bc they just... idk, kill her off of make her horrible or just disregard her existence. sybil is the catalyst for literally all of sam’s development. without her he’s an alcoholic in the gutter. with her, he’s duke, commander, sir samuel, the man vetinari trusts the most. (dont disregard sybil, vetvimes ppl.)

in jingo, i think we start to see the vetvimessybil dynamic we’re more familiar with. vetinari trusts sam to play along with him, and he goes to klatch and does the whole sexy juggler thing and he allows sam to arrest two countries. he lets the lords of ankh-morpork raise armies, because he trusts sam. sybil trusts sam. vetinari trusts sam. vimes trusts both of them implicitly, even if he doesn’t think or say so. 

fifth elephant might seem not that important, but it’s really big to note that at the beginning, vetinari and sybil appear to be conspiring to give sam a holiday. also, sybil calls vetinari havelock, and the only other person i can remember who calls him that is lady margolotta, his ‘love interest’. vimes turns to sybil as his last chance against vetinari, only to find that they’ve been in cahoots because they’re both concerned about his health (and about sybil) and doesn’t that sound terribly domestic!

then we come to night watch, and i know it isn’t a new opinion, that this is one of the big pivotal books for he whole series, but more than that it’s pivotal for the balance between vetinari, vimes, and sybil. the cigar case is the only thing stopping sam from going off the deep end - with love from your sybil, just to press the point - and it all happens in between the birth of young sam. vimes is motivated by love for his city of course, but he has a family now, and he drinks Loving His Wife Juice through history. vimes has already been through his character development; night watch is vetinari’s turn.

finally vimes is the wiser, superior, older mentor figure to vetinari’s bullied, presumably 25-or-younger self. he is already mature, with a tendency towards the dramatic, but i think it’s not really a reach to say night watch was vetinari’s gay awakening. and OH MY GOD the ending scene beside keel’s grave is etched into my memory. i’ll attach it even though i’m sure we don’t need it:

like, woah. what a change in dynamic. now vetinari is bowing to the whims of a vimes he can’t predict, and now vimes is the one telling vetinari off. this is his area of expertise. “afterwards we could-” vetinari has become accustomed to a world where he and sam do things together; it would be fair to say (and supported by the young assassin at the start of this book) that vimes is now firmly integral to the cogs of ankh-morpork. vetinari not only relies on him, but trusts him to be at his side without having to ask. vetinari respects him at this time, in this place, because he has finally seen the lengths to which vimes will go to protect his city, a dedication to a-m that only vetinari has ever expressed. 

from there i think vetinari/vimes/sybil continue without much change. in thud, snuff, and raising steam they have settled into a comfortable give and take. i think that sybil ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be removed from the equation, because she cares for both vimes & vetinari - she is a formidable force when put into action (hello, army of letter-writers from snuff!) and we know she has the power to bully both men into taking care of themselves. imo she is the driving force behind any romantic action between any of the three of them, including herself & sam; remember how they got together in guards guards? she just sat him down with a cup of tea and talked and he realised that he’d somehow gathered a fiancee without realising it. sybil ramkin is DEFINITELY the unstoppable force to both mens’ immovable objects. 

i think it’s perfectly expressed in thud. vimes can both read a story to his son, be a good husband to his wife, be a good commander to his patrician, and be a good watchman to his city, without ever having to sacrifice anything - because of the machinations of his wife and his patrician. (and his city and his son. i mean, that scene with the traffic and the high-speed bedtime story chase says it all.) 

so those are my Many Many Thoughts about vetvimes, i hope that... wasnt too much over what you were asking me for lmao

[slutsofren]

Alphabet Prompt: with demon au Kylo since ya’ll enjoy him :3

for those who don’t know, this Kylo au is from my post here <3

* some of these are NSFW lol

Original list from here!

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

Demon Kylo just REALLY enjoys vibing with you in your apothecary, he likes watching all the little humans interact with your witchy self. There’s something about you that naturally glows when you’re working. The sun sets differently when it’s touching your skin, creating a shine he wants to capture and love for eternity.

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

He is one confident bastard but in all reality, you are the one human who has intrigued him in his entire immortal life so he gets a wee bit insecure about how to court you properly according to modern dating standards- it just doesn’t make sense to him!

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

Oh, by the stars not at ALL. Kylo is awful with words, if he ever did a love language test his main would be spending time, secondly he’d much rather give gifts then talk about his feelings. If you two ever do end up arguing he would just leave- space for you as well as him to clear his thoughts. When he does come back though he never goes into a full on speech about his feelings- rather he apologizes straightforward and explains what he said/did was wrong of him and he will be more mindful going forward. Afterall, this is new to him.

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

So, demons don’t get drunk per say... BUT oh, boy, does he get drunk off your scent after you orgasm time and time again. He gets a little more snuggly and openly affectionate, during this time he lets his guard down a bite and sleeps. Oh, how rarely do demons sleep. When he does, you take this time to admire him.

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

Imagine a raging storm- winds billowing, rain falling as harsh against your skin as hail, cold nipping at every inch of your body threatening to steal every degree of warmth. It’s like that but fire. He gets so enraged you think he might just kill the whole town to find out who hurt you. When you tell him it was the fridge that gave you the bruise on your hip he gets a little flushed with embarrassment but you appreciate the sentiment.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

Kylo realizes one day of how much he has missed out on since the last he visited the surface. So he tries to do one thing a day- reading a book, watching a film, or researching new things.

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

Being a demon who has seen everything on earth, he expected you to be more of the materialistic type. It bewildered him how you refused every piece of gold, diamonds, and fine clothing. Eventually he came to discover you enjoyed useful gifts- especially ancient books of the craft you long thought were lost to the ages. Kylo is a very mindful gifter.

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

There is literally only one way this damned man cuddles- with his body draped over yours and his face snuggled straight into your chest and you playing with his long hair. He often says your heartbeat lulls him to sleep.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

This demon hates with a passion about being late to things. Admittedly he was late to your WEDDING and no, you will never let him forget that.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

He would be so bored at home scratching random lotto tickets and if he won he wouldn’t even claim it. He knows lotto money brings nothing but destruction in its wake which is why you never know he won in the first place- he just imagines it’s another person saved from its terrible fate.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

Uhh,,,,,,,, you. Especially when you come around his cock, moaning his name. He could weep just from listening to the sweet symphony your moans make.

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

By the stars, this man gets a hoot when you attempt to bake. You are just so bad at it but he enjoys watching you make an effort. “Just stick to cooking and I’ll do all the baking.” Although he still ends up doing the cooking too, not that you’re complaining.

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

He is a morning person! He doesn’t sleep like humans do so he has a tendancy to leave bed before you wake to make you a warm cup of something and a small breakfast so you don’t have to worry about that. It also gives him a few quiet moments to watch the sun kiss your skin.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

Kylo Ren is one of those kinds of men demon who is touch-starved so he often finds himself seeking you out. Maybe you’re both sitting at a cafe or bookshop and he reaches for your hand just to feel you close by. He just constantly needs to be touching a part of your skin.

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

He’s been wandering the earth for a millenia and he will continue until the end of time. In all his years he has witnessed the destruction that colonialism leaves in its wake. He’s watched as many of his sacred places have been corrupted by man and it breaks his heart. Now one of the few places left is within a redwood forest, far away from the eyes of humans. A quiet place where he dreams to take you one day.

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

He has such a high tolerance for pain and often says “ow” just to feel like he’s just your normal husband- nothing demonic about him! 

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

“Yes, I love him. Yes, he is a jerk. Yes, I want to fuck his brains out.”

lol are we surprised

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

Kylo hates being apart from you so much. It tears him apart every time. When you finally see him it’s like all the air rushes out from his lungs the moment you walk into his gaze. He forgets how to breathe and just runs to you, to hold you. He soaks up your presence with his face buried into your hair and leaves chaste kisses on every inch of your face never wanting to leave you again.

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

Simple solution is sex- both of you fuck your frustration out. Once you called it “make-up / angry sex but without the fighting” and he did not understand what you had meant but he fucked you into oblivion and immediately saw solutions to his stress. You gave him hundreds of smooches after these kinds of evenings.

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

Kylo is truly afraid of losing you and not being there quick enough to save you. He really cannot fathom a life without you by his side and it kills him each moment he is reminded of your mortality.

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

Since Kylo is a fallen angel, they all lost their feathered wings- destroyed in the nine day fall. Oddly enough, he somehow maintained his wings. They were transformed to become black as dark as midnight with tips shimmering gold- like Icarus’ wings before he too fell to his destruction. This caused him to be hated more as many of the other fallen resented his beauty.

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

He doesn’t fight a lot- doesn’t really seek it out but when it comes to protecting you his long talons would rip through flesh and bone, rows and rows of sharp teeth tearing into his foes. A true horror and sight to behold.

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

Kylo loves loves loves watching you do your craft. He is so enamoured by your potential and skills that he can sit there for hours watching you work.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

Kylo’s cock. Oh, boy. There were plenty of historical texts and recordings of witch’s accounts of fornicating with demons but none could prepare you by how this man could fuck. Every time he rocked his body into yours you could swear you felt the earth shake beneath you. His cock was unworldly, a true testament to the Big Dick Energy he carried with him. His size was perfect- not too big, not too small, seemingly perfect for his body and your pleasure. What you didn’t anticipate was the head of his length- it flared and sharpened to a tip, reaching and caressing every inch inside of you. His cock really could ascend you to another plane.

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

This man does not enjoy things that have contradicting properties. Like, wet and crunchy. Pickles are a perfect example- just the smell could make this immortal demon gag and run from the room. 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

When you’re apart he tends to just starfish across the bed counting down the moments until you come home. He doesn’t sleep well since the day you came into his life, he just needs you. When you’re together he has to- absolutely has to- sleep on top of you and cover your body with his while he gives you all the smooches between high heaven or lowest hell.

[lavenderek]

Why do you hate Ian?? When i was a kid I LOVED What A Girl Wants. I had such a crush on Ian :(

i am happy to go off thank you for this opportunity, long post under the cut

in case somebody wants to read this but doesn’t know what “what a girl wants” is, it’s a movie from the early 2000′s starring amanda bynes as Daphne. 

she grew up in new york with a single mom, Libby. she has an estranged father played by colin firth, Henry, who doesn’t know daphne exists. libby is a singer who works weddings a lot. 

libby and henry were star-crossed lovers, basically. henry is an english aristocrat with political aspirations, and his family believed marrying libby, who is living her stevie nicks fantasy, would damage his career; so they got her alone and convinced her henry changed his mind and didn’t want her. libby left, not yet knowing she was pregnant, and then spent 17 years pining for him. 

daphne has spent her whole life romanticizing the idea of her father coming to get her, so after she graduates high school she chooses to fly out to england and surprise him. when she gets there she is disappointed to find that he is engaged to a woman who has a daughter about daphne’s age, but tries to make it work anyway. 

daphne is clumsy and very casual, so hijinks ensue. henry’s fiancee and future stepdaughter are evil and conniving. 

daphne is rejected and bullied by the fiancee and stepdaughter and she struggles trying to fit in with aristocratic society, so ultimately she leaves. henry is upset about this because he learned to love her, and subsequently he discovers she was being mistreated. he breaks up with the fiancee and flies out to america to surprise daphne. daphne gets into oxford u somehow and they all live happily ever after. 

the first person daphne meets and gets to know in the movie is a local musician named Ian, who tells her she was born to stand out. he has minimal effect on the plot, like, i could write him out in two minutes, but god forbid we have a teen movie without a romance in it. they’re immediately attracted to each other and he proceeds to be a very bad boyfriend that the audience is supposed to find morally upstanding and charming. 

this post is about how it did not work and i don’t like him. 

The Superficial Shit: I’m Not About It

i’m immune to motorcycle boys. motorcycles are impractical and loud. get a muffler. i think if you buy a motorcycle you have to sign a contract promising to idle on your motorcycle for ten minutes every morning at 6:30 so that everyone in the neighborhood knows you have a motorcycle. so i don’t care that ian is A Bad Boy. 

i’m also immune to english accents. it’s just like, an accent. it’s fine. i’m supposed to find everything he does inherently charming because he has an accent and he sings, but i don’t, so, try a little harder.

like, i’m also not impressed by sporty types, but i still accepted “a cinderella story” because austin had a character progression and i could see why sam found him attractive. 

ian has no character progression. he starts out confident and independent and he ends up confident and independent. he remains happily working class with a more or less successful band the entire movie. nothing daphne does affects him negatively except that one time she fucks up and blows off a concert he wanted to go to. 

so as a result i’m not invested in anything he does. the only interesting thing he does is first building up daphne’s confidence and then getting mad and tearing it back down when she’s doing something he doesn’t personally find important, which is the next thing. 

The Worst Boyfriend: Why Am I Not The Center Of Your Universe?

here are the first three pieces of information ian learns about daphne:

her mom is a musician 

she is american 

she is here to find and get to know her politician father, Lord Dashwood

he’s very supportive of this endeavor, right up until it gets difficult. he’s like, “you came all this way, he’s your dad, you should definitely meet him.” 

she publicly fucks up a couple major society events and then is like, “hey, i’m putting my dad’s career in jeopardy, so in order to stay and get to know him this summer i’m gonna prioritize these events a little more.”

and ian is immediately like, “you’ve changed,” and dumps her lmfao

her lifelong drive to find and get to know her dad is one of the first things he learns about her. why does he think it’s so stupid? why am i supposed to care about his opinion? 

daphne, probably: this thing is important to me. ian, probably: ok, that’s fine.  daphne, probably: woof, in order to keep up with this thing i have to try a little harder.  ian, probably: hm. actually, this is unimportant.  daphne, probably: i’m going to do it anyway.  ian, probably: what? didn’t you hear me? i just said it was unimportant. why aren’t you quitting immediately? my opinion should be your primary concern. you know what? i’m done.

i had the same problem with nate from “the devil wears prada.” i will never understand the idea of seeing someone you apparently care deeply about very stressed out trying to accomplish a goal, and being mad that they’re not super fun and interesting right then. sometimes a person you care about is going through something. let her vent and buy her some ice cream. 

if your partner stops being supportive and understanding the second your life gets stressful or complicated, that’s kind of a red flag. the real test of a relationship is when you have to support each other and maintain your bond even when you’re trying to get something done, or even when you’re having a rough time and you’re in a bad mood. 

ian fails this test because he’s weirdly judgmental about it all.

Attitude Stinks

before the change ian hates, daphne is late to things, she dresses casually for formal events, she gets into a screaming physical altercation with someone at a party, and because she was acting out a lot at a ball she’s blamed for the destruction of a prized, historical piece of architecture. all of these cause scandals that embarrass henry and make him look bad in tabloids. he is in the middle of a campaign for a political position, so this is bad. 

after the change, daphne reaches out to her debutante grandmother for guidance and starts wearing socially acceptable clothing, goes to events where she is expected, and is quiet and respectful at an event where she’s supposed to meet the queen of england. this is all very successful for henry. people go up to him and tell him daphne’s great, and she somehow ends up in a tabloid that talks about how great she is lmfao. 

all of this takes a lot of effort from daphne, though. she’s stressed out. while this works out for henry, it isn’t working for daphne. she’s doing all this so that she can be accepted by her father’s family, but the fiancee and stepdaughter don’t want her around, and henry is passive throughout all this. he doesn’t know she’s actively being bullied, but he’s also letting his fiancee direct him away from daphne. so daphne ultimately leaves. 

here’s where ian comes in. ian tells her a story toward the beginning of the movie about how his mother was also an aristocrat. he tells her she was rejected by society because of classism towards ian’s father. this is framed as a demonstration of ian’s values. the fact that his mother rejected being a debutante is a source of pride for ian. 

but the problem is that this is just because ian likes the choice she made. he’s not proud that his mother took control of her life and made her own decision. he’s proud that his mother rebelled. you know this because he sums up the story with this line -

daphne: what happened to your parents?  ian: they’re as poor as church mice and the happiest people i know. 

- and because his entire conflict in the movie is that daphne makes a different decision. 

ian’s mom chose her husband over her parents and the life they wanted for her. daphne is choosing the family she’s been wanting her whole life over a guy she’s known for like, a month. ian is the biggest whiner about it. he storms out on her. she runs into him at an event and asks to talk to him, and he tells her no. he only forgives her when she quits and goes back to america. 

there are a lot of dudes like this out there. he loves a strong, unique woman, as long as she fits seamlessly into his life and makes decisions he tells her to. yawn. 

Makes No Sense: Why Are You Here?

ian is somehow ubiquitous in debutante society. he and his little band are hired to play at every ball daphne goes to. why??

a huge plot point is a moment where daphne attends a terribly boring coming out ball for a pair of very meek, shy twins. daphne delights the twins by going out of her way to liven up the party. she convinces ian to play loud rock music and encourages everyone at the ball to dance. the bass is too loud, though, and somehow causes an antique chandelier to fall. this is a big scandal. 

the whole thing that’s emphasized during this scene is that daphne is shaking up the scene and that this music is unorthodox and unwanted at these high society type functions. 

which all begs the question of why these people keep hiring a local rock band for these events. he’s playing at at least one other ball later on in the movie. the music they play doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the events, which are the kind of affairs you’d wear a tiara to. these are very formal events. why are we hiring ian and his band, and where did you guys even find him?? 

in the scene where daphne gets into a fight with somebody, she’s at a fancy outdoor event, the kind of place you’d wear a tea length dress and a big hat. ian is also there, working in the parking lot as a parking lot guy. 

daphne’s thrilled, but she does ask why he’s there. he’s basically like, “i have lots of jobs.” for somebody who hates deb society so much, he does take a lot of jobs at deb events. why don’t you work in a restaurant or something? does that offend your punk rock whiner sensibilities? 

also, he’s boring and i think daphne should go for somebody who makes her laugh. 

Has Spiked Hair

lots of gel, no other info needed. wash your hair. very sculpted hair makes people seem less down to earth. it’s not relatable. 

I Will Fix It

so ian doesn’t help with the plot at all. the only time he helps daphne is in the chandelier scene. the rest of the time he’s just there to date her and talk to her a lot about how cool it is to stand out and not fit in. 

his role in the movie is to cause more tension and place more pressure on daphne. he behaves like she’s making a moral choice, when really she’s making a behavioral choice. 

i think using him to vocalize her conflict is a mistake because it’s framed as Stand Out vs. Assimilate, when that has nothing to do with daphne’s motivation. 

daphne’s Want is to be with her dad, and her Need is to be accepted and wanted. as a result, ian rejecting her because he doesn’t like the choices she’s making comes across as entitled and cruel lmao. it’s directly antithetical to daphne’s journey. she never once says anything about loving standing out. 

here are the ways i think this could be fixed: 

if you want it to be a moral thing, make it a moral thing. 

give ian a best friend who is gay, and after daphne decides to fit in with society, she won’t be seen with the gay friend anymore. or after daphne decides to fit in, have her be super judgmental of people who aren’t succeeding as much as she is. then when she decides she’s fed up, have her stand up for them. 

that would make ian being mad about her “changing” make sense. and we, the audience, would be like, “yeah, this is misguided and goes against what daphne believes.” 

not breaking things or yelling at a royal event isn’t a moral stance. why are you so pressed. get a hobby 

if you want her thing to be standing out, make it standing out. 

standing out isn’t a conflict in the whole movie. henry’s flaw is being passive. daphne’s flaw is being embarrassing at parties because she’s clumsy and she likes to meet new people and dance and stuff. libby has no flaw except that she was a victim of classism. 

the twins at the party are dowdy and shy, and daphne gives them a makeover off screen lmao. ian is single, and daphne dates him. 

so make standing out the recurring issue. make daphne super obsessed with fitting in. in the very beginning, she runs into a girl she knows at a wedding. the girl is kind of privileged and successful, and daphne reveals that she’s a free spirit who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. instead, make her hedge and hem and haw and try to make herself seem more successful to the girl. make her Want to be fancy and part of her dad’s high society life, but her Need to “be herself.” 

maybe the twins are secretly super weird and quirky, and they’re depressed trying to fit in; and their big moment revealing being cool now at the garden party is them wearing loud patterns and dancing when the music starts playing. maybe ian is super funny and goofy and the parties suck until he and daphne trick the singer into leaving the stage, and ian jumps onstage and plays a fun song. 

make libby have been rejected because she always started talking politics at henry’s parties and she’s kind of radical. 

maybe daphne: hey, i’m sorry, but you can’t come with me to the party next week anymore. maybe ian: what? how come, i rented a tux for this. maybe daphne: sorry. i’m trying to behave.  maybe ian: haha what does that mean? you’re not trying to fit in with all those stuffy losers, are you?  maybe daphne: no, i’m trying not to ruin things for my dad. it was a big deal when you were super messy at the garden party.  maybe ian: wow. i seem to recall you being “messy” right along with me. sorry for embarrassing you.  maybe daphne: ian, don’t take it personally. we can still hang out sometimes, i just can’t go places with you.  maybe ian: no, thanks. 

i don’t prefer this, because i’m an introvert and people who think someone they don’t personally find interesting are fundamentally worse, are boring and annoying. i wouldn’t find this story relatable or compelling at all. i’m 9000 years old and i’m like, “what if you guys respected each other and participated in society, though?” i wouldn’t enjoy this story. but at least it would make sense why ian’s bothered by daphne not “standing out.”

i think the entire reason this movie was made is that trailer moment from the boat scene where ian’s like, “i don’t understand why you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out!” so that’s how you can keep that dumbass line. 

make ian have an arc himself. 

in the movie, ian is initially helpful and gives some backstory, and then partway through the movie he gets mad at her and breaks up with her. he forgives her at the same time as henry realizes daphne’s unhappy, right at the end. 

instead, make ian become helpful as the movie progresses. 

so first of all, take the scene toward the beginning where he’s in the boat allegedly showing her how to practice being poised, and he tells her about his mom being a disowned deb. move this scene to the beginning of the third act. 

next, make it so that ian was rejected by his grandparents. maybe ian at some point also defied his mom to seek out estranged family; but where daphne’s dad let her stay, ian’s grandparents insulted him and told him they didn’t want him around. they called him illegitimate and a mistake. so when daphne chooses to try to conform, ian is reacting to those feelings rather than projecting his own feelings of personal superiority. 

and finally, make daphne try to fit in much sooner, but make her super bad at it. my roommates and i watched this movie the other night and one of them made the very good point that daphne’s grandmother and father sit her down and are like, “there is a certain way you’re supposed to behave,” but they don’t tell her how to do that. 

so let’s actually keep that part. maybe daphne overcorrects. she knows she’s fucking up, so she believes she shouldn’t be doing anything fun or interesting or making conversation with anyone. this isn’t great. her charm is in how friendly, fun-loving, and proactive she is. she does what she wants and people find it refreshing. make people start to be like, “wow, lord dashwood’s daughter is kind of weird and stiff. it’s clear she isn’t used to places like this, what a rube.” 

now we get to the third act, and the boat scene. in the boat, ian tells her about his family, and apologizes and offers to try and help her, if this is what she wants. now ian is playing more of an active role, and he’s contributing to her life in a positive way. 

because as it is, he does nothing that i couldn’t get rid of very easily. so...

get rid of ian. 

here are the effects ian currently has on the plot: 

daphne riding away on the back of a motorcycle makes henry worry about her, and he realizes he’s developing paternal feelings toward her. he calls libby and libby affirms and empathizes with those feelings. 

ian is in the band at the party where the chandelier is destroyed. 

ian talks a lot about how daphne’s supposed to stand out. 

ian stresses daphne out, which sort of artificially raises the stakes. 

ian shows up right at the end to reward daphne for existing. 

especially because ian’s criticisms are so disconnected from daphne’s motivations, nothing he does is particularly helpful to the plot in a way that he couldn’t be replaced. 

daphne has a tattoo in the movie, and when henry sees it, he’s sort of like, wow, she’s kind of a wild child, she reminds me of me when i was young. instead of a motorcycle boyfriend, make daphne get the tattoo in london. henry calls libby like, “she just got a tattoo!” and libby is like, “i remember you holding my hand while i got my first tattoo.” 

maybe the live band takes a break, and daphne sneaks up and hooks up the speakers to her ipod or something, and she plays super loud music herself. 

i already talked about how pointless this is. also, we don’t need a greek chorus telling us what’s going on. show, don’t tell. 

daphne is already stressed. those motivations can come from inside daphne.

why would henry seek out daphne’s ex-boyfriend and fly him out to new york to impose on daphne and her mom? this is so weird. go home. 

ian is replaceable. to the left, to the left. 

[eddisfargo]

CoMC Chapter 117--THE LAST CHAPTER

CHAPTER 117

The Fifth of October

38 minutes

THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS! The LAST chapter!! And look at that name--we’re closing it off with just one last Dumas Countdown™, because this is the deadline at which our sad little son is supposed to kill himself. And/or discover Juliet. 

And I am off to listen! Wish me luck!!

OK I’M BACK, and I listened to it last night, and posted my “FIN” interlude, and now I’m finishing this! So bittersweet!!

So…… I don’t know what I was expecting. Hahaha I mean I guess I do, and in some ways it was spot on, but I was kind of expecting Val to pop in and stop Morrel from killing himself, not for MC to just… give him fake poison. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Time to do the thing I’ve been doing where I put the book on doublespeed and skip around! 

Also I didn’t do that and it’s days later because I procrastinated this for some reason wanted to give the story some time to marinate so I’m doing something unprecedented and I’m going to post this immediately after I write it. If I’d queued it like normal it would’ve gone up at like 4am today but it’s 10:30am and I still haven’t written it. (11:30am by the time I’m posting it! lol) Every other chapter went up by last night! But hey, LONG ONE INCOMING. 

Getting this out of the way in advance so I don’t have to end on this note: Albert is not, after all, ever mentioned again. 

So Morrell is sailed into Monte Cristo (the island not the d00d) by a guy who turns out to be Yucky Jacopo. He is a very sad guy because this is the last day of his life (no it isn’t), but he gets all happy when he sees his bff MC. And MC is happy too--he’s all laughy, which Morrel notes as him basically being a different person. But MC’s like “OH YEAH I FORGOT THAT HAPPINESS IS FLEETING” like okaaaaay. And Morrel’s like “well glad that you’re either feigning happiness for my comfort or you’re totally OK with my death which is in like 3 hours.” and MC’s like “I chose c) none of the above.” 

And MC’s like “wait you’re not feeling better? Weird!” And he does this WEIRD interrogation of exactly what kind of sad Morrel is and whether he’s “consoled” or not (“consoled” apparently includes being basically heart-dead). Morrel’s happy because MC’s going to give him a nice easy death and he can die in a friend’s arms. And it turns out Max has been kind of hoping for a miracle which is clearly not coming after all (yes it is). 

So Max is like “OK you know how you know literally everything and are basically from a higher plane and I trust you absolutely?” and MC’s like “yes that’s correct, go on?” (the higher plane is called “grief” btw). 

So it turns out MC’s concerned that Max is… not unhappy enough to be saved, and that would be horrible, because it wouldn’t be proper repentance for his sins. So MC’s like “here have $100 million and now you don’t have to die!” and Max is like “frist of all how DARE yo u” and MC’s like “OK phew just making sure”

So MC hands him the poison and goes “hey I’ll do it too!” and Max is like “but you love people and people love you!” (umm, don’t you have an adorable sister??) “in YOUR case it’d be a crime! No doing that, but I’ll give Valentine your regards. Toodles!” And he just… drinks it. And starts to fade out. Now obviously at this point it’s not real poison, haha. It’s definitely a drug though, because he can’t move or speak and is feeling all wonky. But then VALENTINE WALKS IN!!! Oh my god, she wasn’t dead???? This whole time??? I had NO IDEA!!! 

Now I was a bit worried at this point that he’d just… never believe he didn’t die. Like that this was heaven and no one could prove it wasn’t, haha. But that didn’t quite end up happening. So anyway they’re together now, and that’s MC’s atonement. And now MC goes “GIVE ME YOUR GRATITUDE. I NEED IT TO LIIIIIIIVE. POUR YOUR THANKS INTO MY EAR IT IS MY NOURISHMENT.” And Val totally does. But also she calls Haydee her sister, and MC’s like “oh good you love her that’s great because she’s yours now. I’m setting her free and making her a princess again.” 

And Haydee’s like “Yeah that’s fine, whatever you say. No I mean that literally. I will do WHATEVER YOU SAY ALWAYS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. IF YOU YOU WANT TO [dramatic swoon motion, I assume] CAST ME OFF, I WILL GO! AND DIE! BECAUSE YOU SAY SO!” 

And MC’s like “wait wait wait wait wait are you saying you like… like me or something?” 

And Haydee’s like “I’ve literally been telling you that the entire book. I love you like an immediate family member! Where ‘immediate family member’ is a set containing ‘husband’!” 

And MC’s like “Oh I guess I can be happy then. Like I said in that one chapter that made Eddis so mad. FYI she’s still not cool with this at all, but it’s whatever.” (What a weird thing for Dumas to write in, amirite?)

So they go off to have their happily ever after or whatever and then Max wakes up and is like “wtf I’m not dead! That traitor!” and picks up a knife to finish the job and Valentine goes “I mean or maybe not do that?” And Max is like whaaaaat? Except also he just accepts it instantly. So they go off into the sunset.

They get a note from MC who, it turns out, just… left. Without saying anything. Off to go marry Haydee, one assumes. And speaking of what he left… his houses and stuff to Morrelentine, for starters. Which should be interesting. They’re actually going back to Paris? The city in which she’s supposed to be buried right now? That won’t be a scandal or anything, haha. But whatever, I guess there’s plenty of scandals in Paris. People will get over it eventually. Maybe. Anyway we did need to get Max back to Julie and Emmanuel. That’ll be a nice little family for Valentine, who’s never known love like they have just all the time.

Also Noirtier’s totally waiting for them in Foghorn Leghorn, where he wants to bless the marriage and presumably live with them forever. MC suggests that Val give her whole fortune to charity and also drops in “oh hey literally everyone else in your family is either dead or lost their damn mind, fyi.” But anyway she won’t really need the fortune now they’ve got Monte Cristo bux--because he’s leaving them the grotto treasure. 

So MC suddenly feels humility and remorse and realizes he’s not God, only God is God and he’s just some guy. And why did he let Max suffer so much when Valentine was liTERALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME OMG? Because happy and sad only exist in their contrast to each other, and he needed to be vairy vairy sad before he could properly be vairy vairy happy. You have to die to appreciate life. And apparently all human wisdom is summed up in two words: Wait and hope. 

That seemed it should be the last line of the book, but it keeps going with their reactions. Except spoiler, it totally IS the last line of the book when Valentine repeats it. After the two of them wonder if ever see their father/sister again. 

WAIT AND HOPE. Audible hopes you have enjoyed this program! 

AND SO IT ENDS. (Also that Audible message sounded SO FAST after how slow our narrator talks--I really don’t think this book would be 53 hours read by anyone else, haha. But he did a great job though! Especially at 45% increased speed)

I still can’t believe it’s over! I’m already like halfway through my next audiobook, haha, because it’s actually a reasonably-lengthed book. 

EDDISFARGO HOPES YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS PROGRAM. 

[pcssessicn]

☆ . · . miguel bernardeau, twenty-one, male, he / him . · . ☆ fitzwilliam 'fitz' phénix-alvarez lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for white stucco walls & terracotta shingles and that’ll be it. the nhl defenseman has offered occasional glimpses of soft yellow walls and an impressive collection of plants in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained protective as ever since moving to tercet court two months ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more mistrustful too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a distant relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they / them, 21, est . · . ☆ career claim: cale ma/kar.

BASICS

Full name: Fitzwilliam Phénix-Alvarez Nickname: Fitz Birth date: September 29th Languages: English, Spanish, Quebecois Francois Hometown: 

PHYSICAL

Age: 21 Weight: 196 lbs Height: 6′2″ Body build: athletic, lean Eye color: grey-blue Faceclaim: Miguel Bernardeau Glasses or contacts: neither 

Tattoos: a raven in flight over his left shoulder blade, monochromatic vines winding up his left bicep

Scars: most predominantly a thin scar near the base of his neck where a skate slashed him when he was fourteen ; several other smaller scars of less note, especially on his hands --- much less noticeable

PERSONALITY

Good personality traits: observant, calculating, protective Bad personality traits: mistrustful, dishonest, aggressive 

Fitz comes across as very confident and in control, and at ease in his skin. The truth couldn’t be farther from it. He works hard to put forward the easy front he does --- and some days he can’t tell which one is more real. He has a dishonest smile that masquerades as honest, and a tendency to manipulate those around him when necessary to shed suspicion off himself. He can be almost charming at times, at least extremely amiable. Despite all this, Fitz is not rash or impulsive -- in fact everything he does is carefully calculated, though he goes to great lengths so it does not come across as so. The one place he feels truly effortless is on the ice.

He finds it hard to truly allow people close to him and to really see beyond the most superficial layers of himself. Furthermore, there is a deep-seated fear of not being enough and being forgotten ; he finds it easier to not let anyone close so there’s less chance of this happening.

THE STORY ( i rly was gunna try to write this nice and eloquently but... u get this instead 😔 )

— fitz was born to up and coming spanish actress reyna alvarez in chicago. the result of a messy one-night stand, but reyna ultimately decided to keep the baby. he is indeed named after fitzwilliam darcy from pride and prejudice bc his mother’s first breakout role was in a film adaptation of the book and she loved the book after reading it. how unfortunate for him.

— his birth father was never in the picture, but the man he would come to know as his father came into the picture a year or so after his birth. already one of the top architects in north america, paul robert phenix was in chicago for a conference and he and reyna fell in love. fitz has been told it’s was all very romantic. so then the happy family moved to pittsburgh where his father’s architecture firm was based.

— despite growing up with two parents who raked in a fair amount of cash, they made sure nothing was just given to fitz. they’d both had their humble beginnings and big believers in tough love, they made sure not to spoil their son. they did however make sure he was sheltered from the media when it poked around and the two things they did pay for without question were his education and sports.

— he started playing hockey when he was six after seeing a pens game on tv while they were out at dinner and knowing he just had to do it --- and never stopped. he got recruited to the us national team development program when he was sixteen and spent his last two years of high school in michigan living with a billet family most do who are with the program, which gave him a huge sense of “normalcy.” but really he was far from normal, his development taking great steps over those two years leading up to his draft year.

— queue the cale ma/kar career claim lads aka all the hockey development & logistics u can probably skip if u don’t care laksdjf: 

 one year before graduation and a draft, he vocally committed to playing at university of massachusetts - amherst. he went fourth overall to the la kings in the 2017 draft ( yeah technically irl that pick belonged to the avs but sh ), and proceeded to remain loyal to his commitment and play two years at umass despite his new top five prospect status. he was put into a first pair role from the start of his freshman year ( 2017-18 ), was a huge part in bringing the umass team up from the bottom of the standings. he plays for team usa in world juniors 2017 and 2018.

his sophomore year ( 2018-19 ), they make it all the way to the frozen four. fitz gets announced as the hobey baker winner and the day after they get knocked out of the tournament. not long after that he signs his entry contract with the kings and finishes out the season with them. he scores his first nhl goal on his first shot in game 3 of the first round of playoffs irl the kings don’t make playoffs but again shh. they get knocked out in the first round and fitz goes home and trains harder than ever.

he come back to kings training camp the next season ( 2019-20 ) more determined than ever to make the team. he does so out of camp and has an incredible rookie campaign. he gets injured in december and misses a few games but is back mid-january. fitz is given the calder ( award that goes to the best rookie in the nhl ) at the end of the season. technically cale hasn’t won this yet but we all know he will.

— la is a bustling city and fitz is a fan of one night stands : he just doesn’t feel like he has time for a relationship and hookups scratch that itch. he’s not an asshole about it, really. there is typically that understanding that this is a one time, no strings attached thing. but this one girl he sleeps with in march obviously does not get this memo and continues to not get the memo. she starts seriously stalking him in the following months and eventually he gets a restraining order against her ( use ur imagination kids ). he’s not really comfortable staying in his own apartment downtown for the time being though after he still sees her around. he stays with a teammate until the season ends, which then brings us to his connection to tercet court.

— paul robert phenix, now world reknowned architect, had a hand in designing several of the homes on tercet court, including one in the style of old money spanish mediterrianian villas that he designed with his wife in mind to be their new home. fitz’s mother had loved the house and moved in for a few years after the court opened but with her taking fewer roles up in the movie industry and getting exceedingly more lonely, she decided to embrace the more nomadic livestyle of her husband and moved out about a year and a half ago. since then the home stood vacant ( though certainly still cared for by several paid landscapers and maids ) until fitz’s dilemma arose a few months ago.

— a few phone calls and a begrudging agreement to pay the extremely steep taxes on the place for the year ( again, tough love and fitz may be a pro-athlete but he’s still making less than a million a year with his entry level contract ), and fitz moved in about two months ago ( say mid-may ).

MISC

— tri-lingual. father is french-canadian and his mother is spanish. needless to say he grew up a little confused. that worked itself out soon enough though. uses he uses quebois french in-season kind of frequently to talk to a couple teammates. really only uses his spanish to talk to his mother and family.

— since moving in fitz has filled the mansion with plants. he absolutely does not seem like a plant guy but he is... absolutely loves it. his major at umass was kinesology bc he thought it would be the most helpful and knew he wasn’t going to graduate but he snuck in some out-of-major classes on horticulture. truly just likes plants a lot. they don’t judge him.

— probably set up his own puck shooting pad in the backyard. why not there’s enough space. he had to retrieve a couple pucks from the bottom of the pool though which has been good incentive to not miss the net lmao. he also has revamped one of the rooms in the house to have synthetic ice.

— runs in the morning before it gets hot. skates a few days of the week in the afternoon. home gym in the house is definitely a perk but he prefers to work out with others because it feels more productive.

— probably drives like. a range rover.

— offensive defenseman. likes to jump up in the rush and is good at break out passes as well as zone entry. earned his place quarterbacking the first powerplay towards the end of the season. he can be quite physical when he needs to be though and don’t ever go after his goalie. ( his nhl.com player page )

— he’s not a recluse by any means, but he has no desire to built connections in tercet court so probably hasn’t actively reached out. they’re likely to have met outside of the small community or if your character forcibly came and introduced themselves. or if they knew each other already mayhaps??

— oh and he’s bi. like really really bi. obv not advertised given his career path but he’s not having some crisis over it either. it just is. probably has a stack of nda’s next to the condoms ready to go at anytime alsdkfj.

OOC

hey lads. i’m ollie !! for those around for round 1.0 of this rp i played alya ( the sports photog ). i am back and this time going back to what i do best : playing hockey boys 😔😔😔.