#we know why he has big hands 😏
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starmocha · 8 months ago
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Not me staring at his hand intensely 🫣
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thepitlanepress · 12 days ago
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A BET NOT SO BAD [1] –
↳ lando norris + singer!piastri!reader
⌗ :: masterlist
⌗ :: a/n: my first smau (series)!!! also i'm using random songs/artists bc im not creative or strict enough to find or stick to one artist lol. there is also no face claim js a mix of pics i found :)) and ik lando's insta handle rn is js "lando" but im not putting that, bc no i dont want to
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ynofficial
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liked by oscar piastri, mclaren, lando norris, and 253,000 others
ynofficial congrats to my big bro!! i lost a bet so you suck ! i hate you so much kidding not really <33 great job to lando though cause he didn't make me lose a bet
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user1 she's so chaotic wtf i love it 😭😭
user2 i wanna know what bet she deemed good enough to take up (then lose) after swearing off betting last year 😭
user3 sameee last year's accident was .... yeah
user4 she's like an actual photographer that last pic is perfection
oscarpiastri i told you i would win the bet, the grid is going to love you
user5 WDYM OSCAR??? WHAT ABT THE GRID???
landonorris thanks 😉 liked by author
mclaren we can't wait to see you in the garage next race y/n
ynofficial im never losing a bet again 😭😭
user6 more info on this bet?!?!
user7 never LOSING a bet again??? what happened to never making one???
user8 usually i would be sad that we're not getting tour updates for a bit while shes on break but im loving this
ynofficial
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, landonorris, gracieabrams, and 1, 572,000 others
ynofficial and since im wonderful while ur not getting tour updates, 2 hands welcome to the world! everyone go watch the mv now bc there are hints in there abt so close to what in case it wasn't already glaringly obvious from this post- [coming soon..... $p0rt$ (4r]
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oscarpiastri i am uncomfortable
ynofficial good.
user1 stop i just came from the mv and like?!?!? the imagery??? the dancing??? the f1 references????
user2 i stopped breathing when i saw the car
user3 no because the f1 references through out the mv have my jaw on the floor
mclaren nice car choice 😉 liked by author
madisonbeer i cant wait till the album is out omggg
user4 i am no longer functioning after that-
user5 SPORTS CAR COMING NEXT?!?!?! YES!!!!
landonorris we should hangout sometime...
oscarpiastri no.
landonorris you didnt let me finish - we should hang out sometime.... with oscar
landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, ynofficial, and 6, 842, 956 others
landonorris recently.....
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user1 screaming crying throwing up what is happening these days
user2 im actually in shambles behind the scenes photos of something and yn posting and lando liking and lando posting and y/n liking and just everything i want it all give me it all
user3 real
oscarpiastri have a good day?
landonorris it was super fun 😏
oscaripiastri what did you do?
landonorris nothing!
oscarpiastri .... lando?
user4 i'm actually dying until this news comes out why is everyone being so secretive 😭😭
user5 well its safe to assume the bet and or y/n's news are f1 related
ynofficial r u majik how did u gess
user6 ... are you okay?
ynofficial oscar was missing out fr
landonorris that he was
user7 OH UM!?!?! EXCUSE ME?!?!
user8 IM SORRY WHAT
f1unofficial
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f1unofficial behind the scenes of something....
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user1 if you had told me last month that i would be eating up crumbs from a f1 gossip profile that has had that many problems its a known fact to avoid it i would not believe you oh my god
user2 no bc same i've hit rock bottom
user3 just tell us wtf is happening PLEASE
user4 im desperate i want to know anything pls
user5 u know ur desperate when you come here
ynofficial
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, landonorris, oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 11, 648, 752 others
ynofficial since im incapable of keeping a secret... and i lost a bet, here we are. so close to what coming out 13th of november!! also we go back on tour soooon cant wait to see you england <33
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user1 y/n releasing an f1 themed album on lando's birthday was not on my bingo card for this year
oscarpiastri hahahahaha
ynofficial you suck ass
user2 an f1 themed album???? YES PLEASEEE
user3 LANDO'S CAR BEING THE ONLY ONE ON THE COVER??? SOMEONE EXPLAIN RN
ynofficial oscar was a lazy ass and had a date w his girlfriend so only lando could make
oscarpiastri i believe what you mean to say is: "oscar had a meeting that he couldn't get out of so only lando could make the shoot"
user4 mclaren are real ones for agreeing to be on the cover
user5 its her brothers team ofc they agreed and plus shes extremely famous any of the teams would've agreed
user6 im an officially a lanyn shipper
user7 i saw this coming and yet im still shocked
user8 EXCUSE ME??? DROPPING IT ON LANDOS BIRTHDAY?!?!?!?!
user9 oh my god lanyn is setting sail
user10 THE NAMES OF THE SONGS IM OBSESSEDDDDD
user11 i cannot wait until she comes to london for the tourr
landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, ynofficial, charles_leclerc and 8, 276, 949 others
landonorris i would make an excellent model
tagged: ynofficial, oscarpiastri
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user1 you would in fact make an excellent model
user2 wtf is happening in the house of commons rn
ynofficial u guys made me sick all afternoon
oscarpiastri how???
ynofficial the heart eyes were disgusting
user5 oscar and lando giving each other heart eyes confirmed
user3 yn drops an album announcement and then lando drops this im not okay anymore
user4 lanyn shippers where are youuu
charles_leclerc you need to upgrade your company maybe next time come to the better team
ynofficial i'll be seeing you soon charlie darling dont you worry
user5 screaming what is happening?!??!
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2025 © thepitlanepress | please do not steal, use, translate or repost any of my works
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latenightdaydreams · 9 months ago
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Crazy thought… but konig with a shy fem ready that’s insecure about their coochie 🫠 I got too much cooch for those cute Victoria secret panties bruh 😭 phat coochie a man we have the meats
From on phatty to an other, I understand😏
König x Shy!Reader (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, insecure, phat pussy, oral
1.3k word count
.
.
You’ve been with König for five months now and things have recently gotten sexual between the two of you. His body is perfect, his cock is huge, and the sex is perfect. The only thing is you don’t let him finger you, eat you out, or see you without pants with the lights on. Your pussy is thick, fat, puffy…it’s big. You’ve always had trouble finding cute panties that could fit and have always been embarrassed by the mound they make in leggings and other tight pants.
You’re too embarrassed to tell König why you don’t want him to touch you or see you. He is of course upset; he loves you and your body. He wants to touch your clit and eat you out, finger you, but you won’t let him. So, he has a plan to get you to let him.
Since he has a key to your apartment, he got there before you got home and set up a romantic date night for the both of you. He spread rose petals from the front door to the bathroom. Inside the bathroom he has candles set up along the counter and around the edges of the bathtub. He found your favorite scent in a bubble bath as well as finding soft and pillowy his and hers robe set for you both.
He sees on your phone’s location that you’re almost home so he rushes into the bedroom and takes off his shirt and pulls off his pants. He looks at himself in the mirror and checks himself out, making sure he looks good for you. Leaving the bedroom, he goes to the kitchen and fills two glasses with wine. He waits by the door for you to come in.
You open the door to see König standing there with a big smile and wine in his hands. Your eyes travel over his body, appreciating his form. Closing the door behind you, you kick your shoes off and walk closer to him.
“What’s the special occasion?” You ask with a giggle in your voice.
König hands you one of the glasses and leans down to kiss you. His pale blue eyes looking at your sweet face.
“I wanted to have a special evening with you, Liebling.” He reaches out for your hand and walks with you, following the trail of red rose petals.
You follow them to your bathroom, a warm bubble bath and candles all around the room. You couldn’t help but to smile and feel all warm and bubbly on the inside, no one has ever done something like this for you before. No one has gone out of their way to make you feel special.
“This is beautiful König…” You walk in and sip some wine.
“Also,” he closes the door to show you the robes hanging behind the door. “They actually had my size.” König says with a big smile.
“You did such a good job babe!” You wrap one arm around König and hug him.
“Let's undress Liebling.” He takes the glass from your hand and puts it on the sink counter.
You begin to peel off your top and König’s eyes drop down to your breast. He watches closely as you pull your bra off next, he can’t help but to smile. You begin to pull down your jeans, but you turn away from König. He frowns watching you do this.
“Liebling, don’t hide from me,” He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder.
“You know I’m shy.”
“But why? Can you help me understand? It felt… normal on my cock, so what is the issue?”
“There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with it, just…aesthetically isn’t pretty.”
König looks visibly confused and moves back. He turns your body to face him, his eyes drop to your breasts before looking up to your eyes.
“I’ll love your body no matter what.”
You shrug and look away, feeling embarrassed.
“Please let me decide how I feel about your body.” His hands cup your face and bring your gaze up to meet his.
His eyes look so sweet and genuine. You take a deep breath and then nod your head. König smiles and kisses you.
“Ja?
“Yeah…”
König steps back and lets you finish undressing. He watches with anticipation and you pull your pants down and expose your purple cotton panties. His eyes glued to the mound underneath the fabric. You take a deep breath and then fully pull your panties down. My god. You’re absolutely beautiful. König’s boner is rock hard and undeniable under his boxer. He reaches for his waist band and pulls them down.
You stand slightly embarrassed as he looks at you, his face full of lust. He walks towards you and puts your hand in his, pulling him towards you. His arms wrapping around you.
“Are you ready to get in, Meine Liebling?”
You nod and smile up at him. Both of you are walking towards the tub. He gets in first and makes room for you on his lap. You step in and König watches as your legs part to see your beautiful labia and he just thinks about burying his face in that soft looking pussy.
You rest your body back on his and he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly against him. You rest your head back on his chest and allow yourself to melt into him. His hands move up and begin caressing your breast and playing with your nipples. His hard cock is pressed up against your rear.
.
.
Once you both step out of the bath, he grabs your robe and wraps it around you, your eyes glued to the way his cock bounced as he walks. He wraps his around himself as well, grabbing the wine glasses and hanging you yours. He watches you take a sip as he takes one himself.
Grabbing your hand, he leads you out of the bathroom and to the bedroom. “Lay down.” His voice is low and sensual.
You do as he says and lay down in bed. He walks over to you and slowly unties your robe, exposing your soft body to him. Instinctively you reach down to your pussy and place a hand to cover it.
König gently moved your hand out of the way, “I think it’s about time I teach you to love this beautiful pussy Schatz.”
“But it’s so fat.” You say with a nervous giggle.
“That’s what makes it so yummy. It’s thick and juicy…just perfect.”
He grabs your legs and moves them over his shoulders as he gets on his knees in front of you. You look down and feel bashful as you see his eyes stuck on your cunt. He begins to kiss the chubby mount of your pussy before kissing down. You started to let out tiny sounds of pleasure and it excited him.
The feeling of your soft pillowy pussy on his face is godly. He presses his face into it and takes a deep breath but sliding his tongue up your folds. It’s a shame that you’ve hidden such a precious part of you from him for so long. He is instantly obsessed with your smell, taste, and look. He pulls back to look at it, pulling apart your folds to see your tight little entrance that stretches so perfectly to take his cock. Fuck.
“Such a beautiful fucking pussy.” He says quietly as he moves one hand to the top and squeezes the soft fat mound.
König leans in and begins to kiss you before lapping like a thirsty dog at your cunt. Your body trembles as you look down at him, your chubby lips surrounding his lips as his eyes are closed just enjoying you.
“Oh god König, too much.” You try to wiggle away but König just grabs your arms tighter and pulls your legs back, bringing your ass into the air as he shakes his face back and forth, coving himself in your slick arousal.
König has missed out on months of giving you the attention you need and deserve, he will be here all night.
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finniestoncrane · 9 months ago
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HELLO I'm in love with the way you write for Cooper 😩👏💝fix idea: I was thinking he's DEFINITELY somebody who doesn't care who he looks anymore, but is still aware that he's got that CHARM yano, but maybe the reader is just "wow your eyes are so pretty" and he fuckin BLUSHES (Mr cooper Howard aka Mr ghoul cowpoke absolutely keels over cus somebody said he was puuuurrtty) 💥💥💥🔫 just all "shut your pie hole girlie" and shes 😏😏😏 ok handsome
Can Ghouls Blush?
Cooper Howard x GN!Reader, word count: 1k aaaaah thank you ;-; also i love this, i love the idea of flustering that horrible boy omg 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some threats (imean it's cooper), guns, mostly fluff though!
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“I know time means very little to someone who has been around for two hundred years, but how much longer are you gonna be?”
Cooper’s voice echoed out from the main room of the abandoned building you had slept in. From the bathroom, you could hear the frustration, despite his attempts to soften it up. He had no time for fun, no time for relaxing. It was survival and sweating, or nothing at all. But you could tell he had tried to soften it up a little, just for you. His irritation was still so obvious however, even as he offered you a playful roll as he approached the door, catching your eye in the reflection of the cracked mirror.
“Just a sec, then we can head out.”
The old hairbrush you had found by the sink was a well-received miracle. A little bit of normality, a chance to tidy yourself up somewhat.
“I just think it’s a waste of time is all. Preening for the Wasteland. I mean, who are you trying to impress out there? You already got the best catch.”
He flicked the brim of his hat with his gloved fingers, grinning wide, yellowed teeth bared at you as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip.
“That’s exactly the problem. I have to make sure I look good to keep up with you, handsome.”
Your hand stroked along his cheek, a brief moment of eye contact as you walked past him towards the door of the bathroom and back out to the front of your temporary shelter.
“Handsome, huh?”
His voice seemed so much lighter now, more so than you had ever really heard before. And as you turned, you noticed the slight smile on his weathered lips, cheeks pulling up at the corners, eyes glinting as he stared straight back at you.
“Uh… yeah. You’re a very handsome guy, Coop.”
You almost had your fingers on the door knob, ready to leave for the start of your day, when you realised that you couldn’t feel Cooper’s presence behind you. Turning to see what was holding him up, you caught something in his eyes. A look of confusion, almost. Surprise. Disbelief. And a little bit of what you could swear was embarrassment. All this time together. Sleeping in each other’s arms, protecting each other from danger. Had you really never expressed to him your attraction? You had just assumed he knew. You spent long enough staring lustfully at him, it was surely a given. So you worried there was something else to it.
“What’s wrong, Cooper?”
“Nothing, I just… I was used to being called handsome, long time ago… not so much these days.”
As you stepped back towards him, closing the short distance, you could make out his expression much better, realising how astute your previous observation had been.
“Oh my god… Coop, are you blushing?”
He raised one finger, narrowing his brows as he tried to hide the endearing glee, offering you a forced stern look as he spoke.
“Don’t start playin’ stupid with me, you know I am not.”
Biting your lip, a mischievous smile forming, you gripped the lapels of his duster, teasing him as you stroked your thumb along one of his ridged, warm cheeks.
“Why, I didn’t even know big tough cowboys could blush, especially not the more ghoulish ones.” Can they blush? I'll need a closer look."
His fingers were tight around your wrist, gripping you fast and firm. He was trying so hard to maintain his tough exterior, but you could tell there was something softer in there that longed to come out, or at the very least, was desperate for someone to notice it. It was so obvious, even as he lowered his voice and growled at you.
“You turn around right now and start walkin’ out that door.”
Cooper took a step forwards, an attempt to regain his control of the situation, to push you towards doing his will, but you brought your hand up and laid your palm against his chest.
“Wait, just a second…”
It was nice to see him in this light. His confidence was always the dominant feature in his peronality, and it rarely wavered, if at all. But to know there were aspects of himself that he wasn't as sure of, and to know you could render him a little flustered just by complimenting them, made you smile. A grin that was returned by Cooper as you gazed into his warm, brown eyes.
"What is it you're lookin' for now, huh? You find it?"
"Yeah... turns out they can blush."
You turned quickly from him, practically skipping back towards the door of your temporary shelter, ready for another day of survival, this time tinted with a little more joy than usual. Your smile only grew wider as you heard Cooper, catching up with you, still trying to cover his embarrassment with the strained, empty aggressive threat that he chased you with.
"Now I will shoot you, you know that? You're pushing your luck today and we ain't even done anythin' yet."
But when he was certain you weren’t going to turn back around, he let himself smile a little. A soft glow in his eyes as he allowed himself to remember who he was, really. The kind of man that resided deep down inside, buried by years of solitude in the deep, dark ground, of struggling to adjust to the world. And struggling to adjust to himself. Even just a tiny reminder that, despite his charms and the charisma that tended to pull people in, that there was a bit of his old self left. That despite everything, despite who he had become, both physically and emotionally, someone might look at him with something other than fear first. With kindess, or lust. Or even love. That was enough to help him cling to the memories and look to the future with just the tiniest bit of hope, something he hadn’t felt in such a long time.
“You comin’, handsome?”
He smiled, biting his lip to curtail the spread of the easy grin.
“You bet.”
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mrs-monaghan · 16 days ago
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Hey Shaz, how are you. I have been sad lately, and I was hoping you could cheer me up. Would it be too much to ask you to do a post on Hobi accidentally putting our favorite couple out there?
Listen. Not alot of people would put this moment on the list but its on the list for me. But mostly because this happens to me all the time! See anon, I am a laugher. I laugh ALOT, much like Jhope.
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Not too long ago my sister and her hubby were going at it over something and I was in the back seat just laughing my head off. Then day before yesterday a close friend of mine and her hubby had a silly back and forth and I was there having the time of my life. So when I saw this tweet by Busan baes just now I couldn't help but add it to the list because Jhope here 👆🏾 is me when a couple bickers near me. And I bet I'm not the only one who's experienced this. So yeah, to me Jhope's reaction to Jikook here goes on the list 1300%
But moving on, anon. Exhibit B
A popular moment we all know and love ☺
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I go more in depth about it here. The fact that Jhope didn't even notice his slip up thou 🤭🤭
Exhibit C.
Anon idk what in your life is making you sad but I'm hoping this small analysis of Jhope being a snitch, brings a smile to your face 😘 it sure brings a huge grin to mine 😂 its the way Jhope couldn't wait to tell Jimin what he had seen. Poor JK 🤣 Nah, I love that moment sm 🤭🤭
P.S -> that moment answers the age old question on who Jhope would pick if Jikook ever broke up 🤭🤭
Exhibit D
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I talk about it here. I remember some ot7s tried debunking this moment by saying that Jhope confuses Jimin and JK's names all the time, so this was just him doing that. While that explanation is valid, it doesn't apply here. When Jhope shouts "JK!" He actually turns around to look at JK. So yeah, he didn't make a mistake this time.
Exhibit E
Speaking of Jhope confusing their names. On this compilation is all members confusing Jikook with eo.
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Ends at 3:50. You will notice the culprit is mostly Jhope. This part is my fav 😂😂
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Its hilarious to me but its also really telling, anon. He is one of the reasons we know Jikook spend ALOT of time together.
Exhibit H
This compilation here shows Jhope being the Jikook president he is 😍
youtube
Among the things mentioned, is this moment where Jhope shouts "wifey" when JK carries Jimin
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Notice how he didn't say it when JK was carrying anyone else ☕
Exhibit I
I actually didn't know about this one, anon. It's new to me 🤭
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Its on this analysis here by "breakdown the kookmin" we all know that moment in rom coms where the couple goes to a pottery date and the man sits behind the woman, wraps his hands around hers and they mould the clay together. Now why on earth would Jhope tell JK to do that to Jimin? Eh? And like BTK asks, why can't he just do it himself? 😏😏 oh Hobi 🤭 tell us more, please 😂 tell us everything! ☕
Exhibit J
I don't really need to say much about this one do I?
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It's a popular Jhope outing Jikook moment. Basically Jimin was lagging behind and Jhope went to JK specifically -not any other member- to complain about Jimin being slow. You know, like how you can go to a boyfriend about their girl and vice versa?
Tweet with video here
Exhibit K
Is another common moment. We talk about this live a little bit here and talk about Jimin being a big eater here.
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Otherwise there is plenty of analyses videos on this live everywhere. e.g this one.
youtube
This is considered a Jihope moment but really its a Jikook one. Once you realise JK was in the room, what Jhope was doing to Jimin makes sense. This was a bestfriend teasing their other bestfriend about how they were gonna get some later 🤭🤭 tihihihihi.
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST (he will continue to slip once they finish serving. Ha haa)
Exhibit L
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We talk about this moment here. Like I said, he could have used Jin or Suga as an example, but he used JK 🤷🏾‍♀️
Jikook is real. Have been boyfriends for a long while. So if in doubt, then pay attention to Jhope 😁😁 He's the closest to them which means once in a while he will slip up.
Thanks for the ask anon, I enjoyed doing it 😘 Hope you've cheered up and are feeling better 💛💜
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 1 year ago
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Practice On Me — Part Two — Azriel x Reader.
Summary: Azriel comes back for a little more practice. But this time, he wants to learn more than just kissing.
Word count: 7k.
Warnings: Some violence, injury detail, mention of blood. Smut 🌶️ some touching and fingering 😏
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“Is that painful?”
“A little. Keep going.”
Rhysand’s hands are gentle when, a week later, you lay face-down on his couch, naked from the waist up. You wince as his fingers skate over jagged, poorly healed scars. You can picture the look on his face without needing to glimpse it; pursed lips and a furrowed brow and barely contained rage.
But he doesn’t let that rage seep into his hands as he smooths a pleasant, cooling salve into what remains of your wings. Which isn’t much.
“Sorry,” he murmurs at your slight jolt. “Almost done.”
There are very few people you will trust with touching your back. It’s too personal for you to visit the camp healer for such treatment, however trained and skilled he may be. But Rhysand—
“I swear to you, Y/N.” His voice is deep, stoic, warm breath fanning your shoulder. “When I’m High Lord, this will be outlawed. Females will not go through this under my rule.”
He promises it every single time he helps you with this. And he means it. Which is why you trust him implicitly with the act.
“I know.” You murmur against a couch cushion. “Thank you.”
“All done.”
As he wipes his hands on a rag, you ease yourself into a sitting position, clutching your shirt to your bare chest. As always, a crackling fire breathes heat into Rhysand’s mother’s home, and the feeling is pleasant, soothing.
“I haven’t seen your mother recently.” You mention, waiting for Rhys to turn around so you can slip your shirt on. It’s not that he hasn’t seen more private parts of your body over the years, nor that you particularly care, but he does you the courtesy, anyway. “Is she well?”
A soft, loving smile curls at his lips. “She is.” And then the smile widens into a full-blown grin. “My father wants her closer to home. She’s with child.”
“Seriously?” You blink, and then you’re throwing yourself at Rhys, sheer happiness and excitement filling you. “Rhys, that’s amazing. You’re going to have a brother or sister.”
“Sister, I hope.” He snorts, squeezing you, and yet also minding your still-bare back. “We need more girls around here.”
“Well, boy or girl, you’ll be the most incredible big brother. I just know it.”
And you absolutely do. Rhys has always been that sort of presence in your life; caring and loving and protective. Stern sometimes. A shoulder to cry on. A giver of warm, much-needed hugs.
You lean into one of those hugs now, not caring nor thinking about the fact that your top half is naked and pressing against him. That is, until the front door opens behind you, sweeping a gust of icy air indoors.
You turn just in time to see Azriel kick the snow from his boots. And then he pauses in the doorway, staring between you and Rhysand.
There’s been no mention of the kiss that night a week ago. Things haven’t been strange nor awkward. Just…normal. As if it never happened.
You’ve combed over it in your mind a little, though. Maybe more than a little.
“I told her the news.” Rhys announces, pulling away from you. A beaming grin still lights up his face.
Azriel’s mouth immediately tilts up, matching his enthusiasm as he smiles at you. “Exciting, isn’t it?”
“Oh, incredibly.” You shrug your shirt on. “I’m bound to get far more stimulating conversation from a newborn babe than I do from you three idiots.”
Rhys swats you and Azriel snorts, and then you’re pushing to your feet and heading towards the small kitchen area. “I’m making tea. Do either of you want some?”
“No, I’m heading out to visit my mother.” Rhys stands. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, though.”
“Give her my love.” You tell him.
Azriel dips his head. “And mine.”
With a chipper goodbye, Rhys is dipping out of the cottage. Shutting the door behind him seals the heat inside once more, and already you have some soothing release from the pain in your upper back.
“Tea?” You offer again over your shoulder.
“Please.” Az approaches you from behind, stopping mere inches away to tie the strings at the back of your tunic. “Cass won’t be joining us. He ran into Sacha on the way here.”
You snort. Cassian’s most recent fling is coming up to a week-long stint, now. It won’t be long before cracks begin to show, and the whole thing is called off, and another female or male takes Sacha’s place. Rinse and repeat.
“I wonder which one of them will break it off. My money’s on Sacha.” You ladle a generous helping of sage tea into two cups and hand one to Az. “How are things with Kaeda?”
You can’t lie — you’ve wondered it a fair few times over the past week. Which is only natural, right? To question if the…help…that you gave Azriel was of any use. But so far, he hasn’t mentioned a damn thing.
He takes a long, pensive sip of his steaming drink. And then shrugs. “I’ve not really had the chance to see her.”
Immediately, you cock an eyebrow. Because Az seems to have had plenty of time for you and Rhys and Cass over the last seven days. Even spared one of those days to fly you to the local market to pick some things up for your father. It hasn’t been a particularly busy week for any of you — slow, even — and you’re almost positive he’s had a spare few minutes to land a kiss on his romantic interest.
Leaning your back against the wall, you shoot him a look. One that says, that’s not going to fly with me, Shadowsinger. “Wanna try that again?” You say. “The truth this time, please.”
He sighs, pressing back against the opposite wall. It must be so annoying for him that you can read him so well. Azriel doesn’t like being read. At all.
“I’m just…not confident enough yet. So, I’ve been avoiding her.” He admits. “I think I need more practice.”
You stare at him. Study him. You’re not sure if he’s implying what…what you think he might be implying. “You’re a good kisser, Az.” You tell him. “Trust me.”
The firm, truthful tone of your voice has his cheeks reddening slightly. He lowers his gaze to the floor. “But I don’t feel like one. And that’s the key to it all, isn’t it? Confidence. I’m just not there yet.”
Fair enough, you think. He’s not wrong. But the direction in which this seems to be going has your heart doing a strange, anticipatory flip in your chest.
“So…” You drag the word out. “Are you asking to practice on me again, or? Because I can totally steal one of the sparring dummies from the training ring and guide you that way—”
“Forget it.” He cuts your teasing off with a roll of his eyes.
“No, wait, I’m sorry.” You bite back a laugh. “I’m taking it seriously, I promise. Tell me what you need.”
He purses his lips, eyeing you for a long moment. You allow him to do so, even if it makes you feel a little naked.
“All I know,” he says, “is that I’m comfortable with you.”
The words are…strangely heavy. Vulnerable. He means them, and you know that, but they’re so weighty that for a moment, you can’t speak.
You suppose you’re so accustomed to your friendship with him — the familiarity and comfort of it — that you don’t think too often about how good it feels to be such a support for somebody. It makes you feel good. Useful. You want to always be able to help him like that.
So, you know you’d offer him anything, do anything he needs.
“If you need to practice on me some more, Az...” Your voice is strangely raspy. “I’m right here.”
He swallows. “But I don’t want it to seem like…like I’m using you.”
“It doesn’t.” It really doesn’t. You keep it to yourself that you need this in your own, little way. “I’d tell you if I felt like that.”
His eyes scan your face, and he seems satisfied with the truth that’s displayed there. He licks his lips and swallows and shifts from foot to foot. And then he says, simply, “Okay, then.”
And you guess this is happening right now, like it happened right then a week ago. So, you place your mug of tea on the counter and push away from the wall. Azriel does the same.
He steps a little closer. Pauses. “Do I need to do anything different to what I did before?”
“No.” You answer, probably a little too quickly. “No, you were great.”
He blushes again, and he seems to be fighting the urge to look away. But he maintains the eye contact like a champ and closes the space between you.
His scent, his warmth, is like a blanket that’s draped over you. You want to wrap yourself inside it, build a fort out of it, hide in it.
Azriel’s hands tremble as he lifts them to your face. He seemed to enjoy that last time — the feel of your skin beneath his. You enjoyed it, too. You tilt your head up just a little.
His thumb makes contact with your cheekbone, brushing a gentle sweep over the area. He leans down—
But then the door flies open, and a snow-covered, pissed off Cassian stomps in.
“Sacha and I are finished.” He announces, not seeming to notice yours and Azriel’s compromising position. “Let’s go to the mead hall.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
The mead hall is packed and noisy, exactly how Cassian wants it. He’s in a foul mood, and so a higher volume of people means he has a good choice of who to pick a fight with.
When he gets like this, there’s not really any stopping him.
Luckily, your father isn’t there tonight, so you’re comfortable sitting wedged between Az and Cass without his paranoid, judgemental stare. But you don’t want to be here — the males are too drunk and boisterous, and you seem to be one of very few females present. It makes their leering gazes far more apparent.
“It was a total misunderstanding.” Cassian says from beside you, leaning over you a little so that Az can hear, too. “Yes, I might have called her the wrong name—”
“I would have thrown you out on your ass, too.” You cut him off, rolling your eyes. “At least know the name of who you’re fucking before you dive between their legs.”
“I do know her name. I just got confused—”
He stops mid-sentence and looks up as, from behind, a pair of rough, meaty hands land on your shoulders and squeeze. You immediately recoil at the touch, turning to glimpse the mammoth of an Illyrian male whose name you think is Tanin. Not that you care.
He stinks of ale and sweat as he leans down and smells your hair. You tense. Cassian tenses. Azriel tenses.
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.” Tanin slurs. “When are you going to let me dive between your legs?”
And there it is. Cassian’s excuse for a fight.
He’s out of his seat and on him quicker than you can even register, slamming Tanin down on the adjacent table amidst plates of food and goblets of ale. Blood goes flying as he pummels his fist into the bastard’s face, and then he’s grabbing a goblet of ale and pouring it over Tanin until he’s coughing and spluttering.
“How about you wash your filthy fucking mouth out?” Your friend snarls, diving in to land another punch. “Piece of shit.”
You turn to Azriel in mild alarm. Usually, he would have jumped in by now, pulled Cassian off before he can do too much damage. But the shadowsinger merely watches the affray with something akin to satisfaction on his face. You sigh in exasperation. This will quickly get out of hand.
“Cass.” You stand, reaching for your friend. “Cassian—”
But your voice is barely heard beneath all the yelling and jeering, and then Tanin is fighting back, landing a hit on Cassian so hard that he stumbles backwards — falls into you and knocks you to the floor, right amongst the gathering, boisterous males.
There’re feet everywhere in all directions, catching you in the side and stepping on your hand and knocking you back down whenever you try to get up. Suddenly, the fight is no longer between Cassian and Tanin. Males are punching each other for the sake of it, and more and more of them join in, not even knowing why they’re brawling. It’s the Illyrian pastime.
Just before another foot can swing into you, you’re aware of strong arms lifting you and plucking you straight from the centre of the chaos. Azriel shoves a drunken lout who backs into you, and then he’s dragging you away, his eyes fierce and blazing.
“You’re alright?” He asks over the shouting, his gaze roving your dirtied, creased tunic.
Your hand is throbbing from being stepped on, but the ache is already dulling. You nod. “I’m fine. Where is Cass?”
“Here.” Cassian suddenly appears behind you. His hair has mostly escaped the knot he’d tied it into, and his lip is badly split, blood gushing down his chin. He spits some onto the floor, and his words are thick and almost unintelligible as he cups his mouth and says, “Pieth of thit got me good.”
You scowl, knocking his hand away to grip his chin. “Serves you right. That fight was completely unnecessary.”
“I dithagree.” His eyes glitter, but then he grimaces and pulls away to spit more blood out. “Dammit. I think I need thitches.”
He definitely does. The gash in his lip is deep and pouring. And with the fight still merrily going on around you, it won’t be long before someone tries to drag him back into it. And Cass will happily oblige.
“Go to the healer and get that seen to.” Azriel tells him, not unlike a stern parent. He grips him by the shoulder and steers him out of the door, dragging you with him by the other hand. “And then sober up. I’m taking Y/N home.”
“And apologise to Sacha.” You add.
Cassian grumbles, but the fact that he doesn’t protest is a positive. He can sometimes be so stubborn that it makes you want to split his lip yourself. It would seem he’s had enough drama for one night.
“Fine.” He spits blood onto the dirt path. “Maybe Satha will take pithy on me.”
The fact that neither you nor Az agree is downright hilarious. But nor do you correct Cassian’s drunken, skewed thinking. Nights like these are a common occurrence, and to some degree, you just have to let your friend get on with it.
Cass turns, and you catch him quickly by the hand. “Thank you.” You tell him, because he was defending your honour, after all. “Love you.”
He grins a bloody grin, and then winces as it tugs at the wound. “Loveyouthoo, thweetpea.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・ You don’t feel like going home and facing your father tonight, and with Rhysand’s mother’s cottage at your disposal, you don’t have to. It’s not unusual for you to spend nights away from home; usually he doesn’t care enough to even question it. But if he does, you always tell him the same thing — you spent the night with one of your many female friends. No males present. Such a little liar, you are.
But you’re content with that lie as you sink into the couch, your eyes flicking over to Azriel in the kitchen. He stirs a cup of tea silently, pensive as always. He’s asked about your wellbeing at least seven times since you stepped through the door.
You’re fine, you’ve answered each time, and it’s true. With him, you’re always fine. It doesn’t stop him worrying, though.
His footsteps thud against the floor as he approaches you, and he holds out a steaming mug. “Drink this. I put plenty of honey in it.”
Your lips twitch into a fond smile, and you accept it, taking a warm sip. “I was on the floor for a matter of seconds, Az. I have a bruised hand, that’s all.”
He knows this, of course, but trying to get him to stop fussing would be like beating a dead horse, and you really don’t mind being taken care of, anyway. Azriel settles into the space beside you, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. You lean into his side.
For a few moments, it’s comfortably silent. And then he snorts softly. “Cassian’s going to have a hard time apologising to Sacha when he can barely form a legible sentence.”
You laugh, tipping your head back against his shoulder. “Maybe she really will take pity on him.”
“If only she’d been there to witness his gallant display of coming to your defence. It might have impressed her.”
“Or put her off him for good.”
“The heartbreak would drive him into someone’s bed, I’m sure.”
The two of you share another laugh, and then silence blankets the small cottage. You’re always content like this, just…existing with Azriel. No need to be a certain way or do a certain thing, like you have to in your own home. With your closest friends, you have the freedom of being yourself unapologetically.
You finish your drink, and then Az is pulling you down with him, his wing draping around you. You’ve fallen asleep like this countless times — with all three of your friends at least once — and it’s one of the few places you feel truly safe.
But as you lie there, basking in Azriel’s warmth, your eyes don’t grow heavy. Rather, they continuously creep over to that spot in the kitchen you stood in with Az earlier, your bodies inches from each other, your lips very nearly meeting but not quite touching thanks to Cassian’s abrupt arrival.
A strange sense of disappointment hits you. Disappointment that you didn’t get to feel that heated kiss a second time.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” you murmur, knowing Azriel is just as awake as you are. “That we got interrupted.”
He turns his face slightly, chin brushing the top of your head. “It’s not your fault that Cassian has terrible timing.”
Your shoulders shake as you give a little laugh. No, no it isn’t. But amongst your disappointment — which is selfish, really, because the kiss was never for your sake —you feel guilt, also. Guilt that you didn’t get to help Az, despite that being what he needed.
You tip your head back enough to look up at him. “I’m still happy to help, you know. The offer is still there.”
For a couple of seconds, he merely stares down at you. His fingers absentmindedly twiddle a strand of your hair. And then he says, a hue of pink colouring his cheeks, “I still need the help.”
And in that moment, he looks so genuinely perturbed by his own inexperience that you can’t bear it. You’ll do anything, say anything, to put him at ease. To help him realise that these things are different for everyone. There’s no time frame he should be keeping to. Twenty years of age or thirty or forty or fifty, he could have come to you with these things worrying his thoughts, and there would never be any judgement. Only understanding. Only what he needs.
So, you slowly sit up, folding your legs beneath you and turning so that you’re facing him. “Would you like to practice now?”
He eyes you and swallows. And then he nods. “I would.”
You offer him a reassuring smile. “Come here, then.”
Just as you had, he pushes himself up into a sitting position. You can tell he’s tense by the way his wings fall about him; his shoulders squared. You reach for his hand and squeeze it gently.
“We already did this once, Az.” You remind him. “Just do what you did before.”
He nods — more to himself than to you. And then he’s scooting closer. His palm settles at your jaw.
He doesn’t go in for the kiss immediately. You allow him to do whatever he needs to do, whatever feels right. He seems content, for the time being, with dancing his fingers over the skin of your cheek, your jaw, your neck and the shell of your ear. His hand, scarred and callused, climbs and falls, explores each area with rapt attention. He takes note at the way your eyes momentarily flutter closed — an inadvertent reaction to his fingers skating over the pulse point of your throat.
“Is that pleasant?” His voice is deep, husky.
“For me, yes.” You clear your throat. “But I suppose not for everyone. Everybody has sensitive areas. That’s one of mine.”
You’re shamefully disappointed when, after a moment, his hand moves back up. It finds its place at your jaw again, and Az cups your cheek.
“Okay,” he whispers, and leans in.
There’s no chance for you to utter a word as he dips his head and presses his lips to yours. This time, there’s no quick, chaste peck to test the waters. Azriel dives straight in, capturing your mouth in a kiss that robs the breath straight from your lungs.
His mouth paws at yours, and you give yourself to the sensation, submitting fully to the practice. You want Azriel to take what he needs — to get a desired result from this — but as you kiss him back, you can’t help noticing the stiff, tense set of his body.
He’s not relaxed, not at all, and it shows. Something about this is bothering him, holding him back. Nerves, probably. Maybe even second thoughts. Whatever it is, you want him to communicate it, be honest about it.
So as much as you really, really don’t want to, you pull away, your face hovering a mere hair’s-breadth from Azriel’s. He seems to blink, and he licks his lips and stares at you with unguarded concern in his eyes. You know he’s already thinking a million things at once, wondering if he put a foot wrong.
“What is it?” You ask, making a grab for his hand. “You’re…tense. This is no different to what we did last week.”
Your friend stares back at you, conflict a war on his face. And for a split second, you start to think that he is having doubts, that he’s regretting having gone along with this.
And that…that would hurt. You’d understand, of course, because he’s your friend, and this is simply about helping him — but it would definitely hurt.
You don’t want to think too much about why that might be.
Rejection is never pleasant, you suppose.
“Az…” you chew your lower lip. “You can tell me. Whatever it is. If you want to stop this and just…talk…or do nothing at all…then that’s fine, too—”
“Kissing isn’t the only thing I’ve never done.”
The words leave him in such an abrupt gust that you’re stunned into silence.
You stare at him wordlessly.
Of course, it’s not that you haven’t considered that over the past seven days. Up until a week ago, you’d simply assumed that Azriel must have had a whole wealth of experience when it came to kissing people. And you’d turned out to be wrong. It wasn’t unusual to question whether there was more you didn’t know.
But you also knew perfectly well that sex didn’t require kissing. Az could have slept with a whole host of different people, and yet chosen — for whatever reason — to not kiss a single one of them.  He could have built up knowledge and experience in plenty of other areas without ever having explored what many would consider to be the first step.
You’d considered that Azriel might not have any sexual experience. And then you’d surmised that he most likely had.
That, it would seem, is not the case.
He looks more uncomfortable than ever, lowering his gaze and rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand. You want to tell him that none of that matters, that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but the words simply will not come.
“I’m just…completely inexperienced. In every way.” He admits gravelly. “I’ve come close to doing things, but…I always overthink it. I don’t know how any of this is supposed to…to progress.”
Makes sense. It’s a daunting thing to explore, and even more so when you don’t trust easily. It’s perfectly reasonable that Az has protected himself from that pressure.
“Have you…” You clear your throat, desperate to make sure you’re handling this correctly, decently. “Have you ever done anything at all?”
His eyes flick up to meet yours. “I’m completely well-versed where my own pleasure is concerned, Y/N, trust me. It’s with another person that I have no fucking clue.”
Right. Got it.
Swallowing down a ridiculously huge lump in your throat, you give a slow, pensive nod. “Alright. Well…these things just…evolve naturally. One thing leads to another. The absolute worst thing you can do — with kissing or anything else — is overthink it. Do that, and it’s over before it begins. You just…follow your body’s lead and do what feels natural.”
Good fucking advice, if you do say so yourself. Azriel’s still-unsure expression is the only thing that stops you from giving yourself a well-earned pat on the back.
“Right. Follow my body’s lead.” Az sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. He clears his throat. “Can we continue?”
“If you want to continue, Az, we’ll continue.”
A small, soft smile lifts his lips, and it melts your heart a little. He’s genuinely grateful for your patience and understanding; you wonder if he truly knows that you’d give him, his kind heart, the entire world if you could.
But before you can sink too far into your mushy thoughts, Azriel’s hands are at your face once more, and he’s angling it up towards him.
You wait. Allow him to make the first move. He does.
He kisses you like your lips might disappear before his very eyes if he doesn’t. His mouth slants over yours, and that coiled tension is no longer making his body rigid and unnatural. He’s heeding your advice, relaxing into it, and this time, he doesn’t hold back.
His thumb sweeps your cheek, and his tongue sweeps your lip, and you’re opening up for him, allowing him to slip it inside to meet yours. At once, his taste is overpowering you, mixed in a little with the mulled wine he drank at the mead hall. It’s a song to your senses, and you’re desperate to hear it, feel it, from start to finish.
Perhaps that’s why you’re not really aware of the way your bodies move. Az is shifting on the couch and so are you, and while one of his hands remains at your face, the other moves down and slides gently to the scars on your back. It seems, for a moment, that he might tug you closer, but in one swift movement, he’s laying you down, and he’s tucked between your legs and hovering over you so closely. He cushions the remains of your wings, always concerned about your comfort.
Kissing him like this feels wildly different to kissing him sat up. It feels…intense and yet tender. Fast and yet slow. Like this could go anywhere and everywhere all at once. And part of you wonders if it should go nowhere. Perhaps you should stop. Helping Azriel gain confidence is one thing, but he’s your closest friend, and never before have you had your closest friend more or less lying on top of you, his body moving against you, while his mouth dances over yours.
Bizarre, really.
But you still continue to kiss him back.
Your hand moves up to cup the back of his neck, and you kiss him harder, graze your tongue over his lower lip—
He pulls his face away from you abruptly. Perhaps that was a step too far—
But something in the way he stares down at you, panting heavily, tells you it wasn’t.
“Where do you like to be touched?” He asks you, so gutturally that the words vibrate through you.
And they damn well catch you off guard.
You blink up at him, flustered, not sure you heard right. “I…what?”
Azriel then licks his lips. “I mean…where do you think Kaeda would like to be touched?”
Kaeda.
You’d forgotten about her. The reason that Az is even kissing you in the first place. Because he wants to be good for her.
The thought stings a little. You try to shake it off. “That…that’s something you’ll have to learn from Kaeda herself.”
He stares back at you. Studies your face. And he looks so…so genuinely daunted, that you search for something, anything, to put him at ease.
“But me…” You clear your throat. “I like to be touched in lots of places.”
He’s still staring at you in that strange, intense way. After a beat, he asks, “Will you show me?”
It’s your turn to stare at him then. You’re starting to think that perhaps the world has been turned on its head. You and Azriel, to each other, are familiarity and comfort. You’ve seen each other at your best and at your worst, been there for some damn near humiliating circumstances. This is the male who has bathed the blood of your own cycle from your skin and held your hair back when the cramps have turned your stomach. He’s listened to some of your most embarrassing stories without humour or judgement; just understanding. To him, you are an old, well-worn, well-loved pair of boots.
And he wants you to show him how to touch.
Never, under a million fucking sunrises, could you have predicted this would happen between you.
But you’re not recoiling from the request. You’re just…surprised. You’re not balking from it, nor running out of there screaming.
Nor has Azriel ever balked when you’ve asked for his help, his guidance. Not once.
You angle your body up slightly, just to get a better look at him. And you study him a moment longer. “…Az, are you…”
“I know what I’m asking, Y/N, and I’m sure.” He says without pause. “Show me how a female should be touched.”
Suddenly, you feel like the nervous, inexperienced one. You can totally say no, of course — Azriel would put a stop to it immediately if you did. But you don’t want to.
You want to do this. Want to help.
Your hand cups the back of his neck once more, and then you’re tugging his face down, pulling his mouth onto yours.
The kiss starts out slow and soft. There will be no rushing this for either of you. It’s an exploration, a way to trace the maps of each other’s mouths. You’re both desperate to know more, feel more, before this goes any further.
So, you follow your own advice. You told Azriel to trust in his body, follow its lead, and you now do the same. You want this to progress naturally, like…like it isn’t a transaction. Isn’t something that you agreed on beforehand.
There is no breaking from the kiss this time, even when you’re panting into each other’s mouths. Azriel’s hand is firm and pleasant at your jaw, and your tongues are intertwined, and you’re kissing like you want this specifically with each other. A fact you will not ruminate on,
You nip gently at Azriel’s lip, and this time, he does not pull away. He hums quietly — seemingly unaware of doing so — and applies a little pressure to your mouth. Kisses you harder.
And it’s then — then that you reach for the hand that’s settled at your jaw. You curl your fingers around Azriel’s wrist, and slowly, you drag that hand down.
You think you might be shaking a little, but you don’t give the nerves too much thought. Azriel allows you to guide him. His fingers brush over your neck, content to explore the soft skin there, but you keep that hand moving. The warmth of his palm permeates the fabric of your tunic, and the feeling is pleasant against your chest.
When you finally close his hand over the swell of your breast, you break away just to whisper onto his mouth, “I like being touched here.”
Azriel’s eyes bore into yours, heated and blazing. He swallows.
Clothed you might be, but there’s no undergarment between your shirt and your breast. The weight of Azriel’s hand falls heavy over the swell, and there may as well be no barrier of clothing with how delicious it feels.
His gaze remains on yours as he cups you in his palm. And then his thumb inches in, grazing over your nipple. You suck in a short breath at the contact, your back arching a little.
Azriel pauses. “Is…is this okay?”
“Yes,” you say, a little too quickly. “It’s more than okay, Az.”
A soft smile appears on his lips. You smother it with yours, pulling his face closer once more. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to kiss him again, or what you’re supposed to do amidst any of this, but it feels like the right thing.
This time, there’s no hesitation. Your kiss is hot and needy, and you find yourself bunching the fabric of Azriel’s shirt in your fist as he begins to more confidently explore your breasts.
He squeezes them, palms at them, traces the turgid peaks of your nipples, and you happily arch into it all. But then, without any guidance from you, his hand is leaving your breasts. Travelling down.
And you don’t breathe a word. You figure if he has a question, needs direction, he’ll ask. You kiss him as if you were always made for kissing him, and his fingers are dancing over your stomach, down and down.
“What…” he tugs his lips from yours, his fingers now at the waistband of your breeches, “what about here? Do you like being touched here?”
You stare up at him. And you’re supposed to be guiding him, aren’t you? So, panting, you fold your hand over his and move it down. Away from the waistband. Between your legs.
You fold his hand over the very centre of you. And you wonder if he can feel your heat through your breeches. It feels blazing to you, and torturously so. Like a fire has been lit between your thighs. You’re growing wetter by the second, and your scent must be filling the room.
“Here.” Your voice doesn’t sound like yours. It’s deep, smoky. “Right here.”
Azriel watches you closely. Watches your face as he applies pressure to your heat. His thumb presses down.
And you’re not thinking about his intense stare as a soft moan falls from your mouth. Your brow is furrowed, lips parted, and you want more.
“There?” The shadowsinger murmurs, repeating the action. Your moan is louder this time.
“Can you…” Already, you’re panting, but he’s not…not close enough. You grab his hand again, and you’re moving it back to your waistband. To the button on your breeches.
His eyes meet yours. He doesn’t need to be experienced to know what you’re asking from him. Sure, he could probably do this through your clothing, but surely skin-to-skin is better for his experience.
That’s what your selfish mind is telling you, anyway.
“You don’t mind?” Az asks. “I appreciate your help, but…I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to feel you have to do anything—”
“Azriel.” You clasp the back of his neck. “I really, really do not mind.”
For him, it will always be about making sure that you’re positive.
Your needy expression must tell him that you are.
You capture his mouth with yours, and this time, the moan comes from him. Kissing seems second-nature to him already. This one is fast and passionate and desperate, and yet he leans into it, gives himself to it entirely.
You don’t know how long you kiss for, but it’s possible that Az needs the time to build up to the moment. To get the nerve to actually cross that line.
You don’t push him or rush him. If he decides that this can’t go any further, you’ll stop immediately. You can see to the ache between your legs yourself.
But then, as his tongue rolls with yours, you feel his fingers at that button. Azriel pops it open. Your breeches part.
You lift your hips a little — a small encouragement. Az follows it. His touch is warm against your skin. His fingers slip past the waistband.
He pulls back to look at you. And he rasps, “Tell me what to do.”
“You can’t do anything wrong,” you pant. “Just…explore.”
He nods. Nods again. Draws in a slow, steeling breath.
And then he explores.
Not once does he look away from you. Not once, as his fingers slip between your folds. You bite down on your lip, not wanting to startle him. This is about him. This is about him.
His fingers dip tentatively through your damp heat. He drags them upwards, drenching himself with your wetness.
“You’re soaked…” He seems surprised by the fact. As though it’s unthinkable that your body would react in such a way to him. He explores more. “Really soaked.”
“Yes, Az.” You breathe. “That’s a good thing, trust me.”
He pauses his movements. And he’s entirely serious as he says, “I always trust you.”
And fuck, the sentiment makes you want to kiss him again, so you do. You yank him closer and slide your mouth onto his, and then his fingers are moving between your folds again.
They inch upwards with ease. And then one of those fingers is brushing over your clit.
You have no control over the way your hips jerk, bucking up into Azriel’s touch, or over the noise that rips from your throat.
Azriel pulls back to study you yet again. And repeats the action with more intent. “There?” He asks, and then adds, “Your scent reminds me of…of pears.”
“I don’t know whether I should say thank you, but yes, gods, there.”
Once more, his finger presses against your clit, and you’re gasping. His head cocks slightly, like he’s genuinely intrigued by your reaction. He watches you closely as he begins to circle the sensitive little nub.
You’re not wholly aware of the fact that you’re tipping your head back — not until Azriel is guiding it forward with his free hand and fastening your eyes on his once again.
“Can you look at me?” He clears his throat. “I just—want you to look at me.”
You swallow, and you nod. And you stay looking at him.
Even as his finger circles your clit again, and you feel the sensation like a lightning bolt through your entire body.
The pleasure is shocking. Your hips buck up into the sensation, and it seems to reward Azriel with confidence. His hand moves into a steady rhythm, his palm seeming to cup you and rub against you as his finger works at your clit.
You will not last like this. You never do. The stimulation is far too much, and you’re writhing beneath him, already feeling that tight, warm coiling in your lower belly — the sign of imminent release.
“Fuck,” you pant, rocking against Azriel’s hand. “Gods, Az, I’m gonna—”
Your words are lost, swallowed by his mouth closing over yours. Azriel kisses you, and he begins to move his finger in quick, flicking movements, and you’re gone, gone, utterly fucking gone, your body a swirling, weightless form as stars burst behind your eyelids.
The climax hits you so thoroughly that you shout into Azriel’s mouth, and you're grabbing at his shirt, simply needing to hold onto something as your hips undulate, desperate for more of the sensations he’s wringing from you and yet so incredibly sensitive that your body is already beginning to tremble.
And the second Azriel notices that you’re shaking, slumping back down against the couch cushions, his fingers cease their movements. He tears his mouth from yours and drinks in your expression.
“Are you okay?” He breathes heavily. “Was that…good?”
Good did not come close to describing what it was. There’s something magic about those fingers that still linger between your folds. You’re sure of it.
“More than good.” You gasp, your head falling back. “I just…need a moment.”
He pauses, before slowly, gently, tugging his hand out of your breeches. You think a whimper leaves you at the loss of contact. It’s an effort not to grab his hand and put it right back where you want it.
But instead, Azriel moves it up to your face. He brushes a strand of hair from your eyes, and his chest is heaving as much as yours as he leans down and brushes his lips over your cheek — an affectionate gesture. One he’s done a thousand times before.
It kind of…rips you from the moment, just a little. Reminds you that this is your closest friend who’s hovering above you. Who’s just made you come so hard, you saw stars. Who’s only doing this to learn.
You open your mouth — to say what, you’re not sure — but you’re stopped in your tracks by the door bursting open behind you.
You and Azriel move away from each other just as Cassian waltzes in. His lip is stitched up, but there are fresh marks at his neck; ones he seems incredibly proud of. You quickly fasten the button on your breeches before he can notice.
“Sacha and I worked things out.” He announces with a shit-eating grin. And then he pauses. Frowns. “Why does it smell like pears in here?”
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azriel tags: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden
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itwasntimethatdidit40 · 4 months ago
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Hold it.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x AFAB!reader
Words count: 1384
Rating: +18, absolutely NSFW and please mind the tags
Warnings/tags: pi$$ kink, masturbation (f receiving), reader has breasts and vagina, no other description of her is given, bad at feelings Joel and kinda soft!dom if you squint, kissing, dirty talk, smut without plot, this is just something entirely written with my cunt so you’re warned lol, it came out totally unplanned, I’m ovulating and I’m feral🔥 and it’s October so I thought it was the right time of the year to experiment a little bit heheheh it’s not heavy but it’s something *cough* I could do it again if it works.
Please just skip it if this is not your kind of thing.
No beta reader, barely edited, English is not my first language so please, be patient with me. I hope it makes sense and that you’ll enjoy, my dirty little friends with similar kinks as mine 😏
Thank you very much to anyone who read this!
You and Joel are lying on the bed kissing. You don't know how much time has passed, it could be an hour or five minutes, when you're with him the clock doesn't exist and besides, you end up feeling like you can't get enough of him. You've been seeing each other casually for a while, no one brings up the question of "what are we" not even you, too scared of losing him.
You just take what he gives, eager and willing to have him rolling in your bed with you.
Tasting his mouth, intertwining your tongue with his, salivas mixing, teeth touching, lips biting and the best sex you've ever had, you don't care about anything else.
“I’ll be right back,” you tell him breathlessly. You start to get up, but he pulls you by the arm. “No, stay.”
“Mmm I have to go to the bathroom.”
“No, you don’t, come back here,” and he wraps his arms around you completely, bringing you back to his chest.
“Joel, I have to pee,” you whine.
“Hold it,” he tells you in a firm voice.
“I can’t! We've been kissing for hours, I need to do it and I’ll be there again in 30 seconds, let me go” you plead, looking at him with the best angelic look you can pull off.
“It could be fun…” he suggests and your jaw instantly drops “What? Wet myself?”
“Uhm…let’s take it one step at a time, miss”
You're surprised that he's engaged you in such an intimate conversation, he usually says a few words, grunts, kisses you like crazy, fucks you like an animal and is out the door before you can ask how his day was.
“Woah, so we’re starting sharing fantasies here?” you smirk “I like that”
He nods “why not” with a slight smile “let's spice it up a bit”
You bury your face in his chest, giggling, “Mmm ok, mister kinky, tell me what you have in mind.”
“Just hold it” he gently orders.
“I’ll try”
“Good girl. So now…are you wet?”
“Yes,” you coo, “Of course.”
You see a spark in his gaze, “Does your clit know how wet you are?”
You laugh, “I think so.”
“I don’t think she knows enough, let me feel her”
He lowers a hand to your panties and you’re grateful that you have nothing on but those and your bra, you couldn't move further to take off more clothes without feeling the urge to pee.
You stay still in his arms as he maneuvers his way past the hem of your panties.
He looks at you ferally, while his fingers get wet “mmm baby, we can do better. Just hold it for me and let me work”
He lies down on the bed, bare chest, in his boxers, and pulls you on top of him “come here”
“Won't I weigh on you?” you ask confused as to what he wants to do.
You've lost both contact with his eyes and fingers and he's holding you on top of him by your hips as if you weigh nothing.
“Don’t be ridiculous” he chuckles “just trust me, I’m sure you’ll like it”
Your bladder is full, it’s starting to bother you, but you can’t say no to him.
However, the situation now intrigues you, you want to try whatever he has in mind.
So you stay there, like a puppet leaning against his body and wait, hungry for him.
He’s big enough to make you feel tiny and it’s such a turn on.
His fingers return inside your panties and you immediately moan at the contact.
They are thick, a little calloused, deliciously scratchy on your clit.
“Here we go, baby, you’re good?” he asks you while caressing you with circular movements and then gathering your cream up to your bundle of nerves.
“Yes” you moan.
He continues this until he feels your clit hardening, then he places two fingers in a V shape resting on your outer lips, just jerking off your clit like that.
“Fuck, it feels so good” you breathe
“Yeah, I know, you’re all nice and drippy now. You’re still holding your pee like a perfect girl for me right?”
You whine, you can’t do anything else.
His lips roam your neck, licking and kissing everything he can.
His other hand kneads your breast, taking a nipple between his fingers and gently tugging. This new stimulation is almost too much to bear.
He dips his fingers between your folds, on either side of your clit, and moves them up and down, wetting them completely with your juices.
He suddenly takes them away and you cry at the loss.
He brings them to your mouth and orders “taste yourself” and you obediently let his fingers enter your mouth up to the knuckles, licking them greedily. “You like it, huh? You taste good, baby, I know”
“Did you leave some for me?” he asks before putting them in his mouth and grunts “just enough” he hum “Now let’s get back to business, I’m not done yet with your pretty cunt”
He starts rubbing your clit in circles again, faster than before, almost frantically and you feel delirious at this point, you’re not sure how much longer you can take his teasing “Fuck- I can’t”
“Yes, you can, baby, keep holding it”
The hand that was on your breasts moves down to your belly, he press there and release “Do you feel it?” A tingling sensation radiates to your pussy, as he repeats again and again, presses and releases.
A gentle, steady strain on your bladder, as he continues to stimulate your clit.
“Answer me, hun, can you feel it?”
You whimper a chocked yes.
“Is it good?” he growls
“FUCK - yes. It’s so good - so good, Joel, please don’t stop”
He presses down a little more and releases, rubbing so hard on your bud you feel like you're losing your mind.
“Yeah, that’s my good girl, just sink in it”
You’re overwhelmed, you hadn’t the slightest idea that it would be so good to let him masturbate you while you hold your pee.
You can't explain exactly in words but the feeling of your bladder full, on the verge of letting go as he touches you like that makes you feel like you've never taken full care of your clit before.
You close your eyes, letting yourself go with that feeling as he urges you with his hoarse voice “yes, my perfect little slut, take some more” and presses even harder and releases, now in small repeated jumps on the bottom of your belly.
It doesn't hurt, it's just too much.
You come, writhing above him, a devastating orgasm taking over every cell of your body.
“Let it go now” and you whine “no, I can’t!”
“Give me something baby, let me feel it. Pee”
“I can’t! I can’t pee on you!” your voice breaks through your peak.
And then he whispers “please”
He never begged for anything before.
He just takes, gropes, licks and bites whatever he wants and you’re fine with that.
But now it’s different. He whimpers another “please” and you just do what he asks.
You pee.
All over him.
The warm liquid slips out of you while he's still rubbing you, wetting your thighs, sliding down his legs, soaking the sheets.
He growls loudly in your ear, breathing heavy, his hard cock pressing into your ass through his boxers and your panties.
You feel empty, physically and mentally, only surrounded by an electrifying warmth.
He pulls you off of him and hugs you, both of you soaked from the waist down.
He kisses your forehead and then your lips “thanks, babe. Did you like it?”
“I- yes.” you pause for a moment, trying to process your thoughts “it was weird. Pleasantly weird though”
“We don't have to do it again if you don’t want to, though.” he murmurs moving his lips to your jaw leaving a trail of kisses there.
It's like a new complicity has been created between you, now that you share this dirty little secret.
The edges of his bad temper seem to have been smoothed out, his voice is kind, almost tender.
You look up, smile mischievously at him and say, “Who says I don’t want more?”
Part 2
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babyjakes · 1 year ago
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〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉
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event | kinkmas 2023
prompt | sex shop
pairing | sex shop owner!andy barber x innocent!reader
warnings | age gap (reader sees andy as a total dilf.) reader is very innocent and also so scared to be there (understandably.) soft!andy, comforting vibes, he talks her through everything. humiliation kink is strong in this one. no real smut, just suggestive themes (sex shop, toys, talks of solo and guided masturbation.)
word count | 987
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an | this little story is dedicated to andy's #1 girl, @worksby-d 🥺 dest i super hope you enjoy our favorite dilf here!! i tried to make him the big warm teddy bear we know and love, with a little hint of naughtiness shining through at the end hehe <3 happy holidays to you friend!!
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imagine going to a sex shop for the very first time, aalllll by yourself, and meeting a very handsome dilf who helps you pick out your very first big girl toy 😏
parking as far away as possible (it’s at the end of a little strip mall in a tiny little town you’ve never been to before, you wanted to make sure you wouldn’t bump into anyone you knew!) spending like 10 minutes just sitting in your car hyping yourself up, you’re so nervous but you’ve wanted to do this for so long 🥺
eventually you build up your courage and make your way up the parking lot, to the front door of the place. a little silvery bell rings as you enter. you’re surprised at how clean and neat the place is. you weren’t sure what to expect, but this is better than you had been hoping. it’s not too big, a single large room with a counter in the middle. at first glance, you're alone, no other customers or employees in sight
the store has different sections with hanging signs directing you where to go. you can feel heat rising in your cheeks as you pass the racks of lingerie and intimates. just as you make it over to the toys for her section, you hear something from across the little shop. looking over, you see someone has entered through a doorway in the back. a man, but you don’t get too long of a look. your eyes quickly drop to the ground as you feel your embarrassment worsening
please don’t come over here. please don’t come over here. please don’t-
your silent prayers are ignored as footsteps approach. you take a step back from the wall of products, forcing yourself to look up at the stranger. your jaw almost drops at the sight of him, oh god, you’re thinking to yourself, why is he hot 😭
there andy stands in all of his glory, the epitome of dilfy deliciousness with his worn navy t-shirt and scruffy beard. scratching his head a bit awkwardly, he greets you, “hey, sorry. didn’t meant to startle you. can i help you find anything?”
your heart’s pounding in your throat as you look around stupidly before your eyes return to the absolute unit of a man before you. you blink like a deer in the headlights. oh my god. he works here, you’re a little slow to put things together
andy sees your surprise, letting out a gentle chuckle. “i’m the owner,” he explains. “you okay, honey? you look like you’ve seen a ghost”
a part of you knows this is an extremely sketchy situation. you’re alone in a sex shop with a dude probably twice your age (who apparently owns the place), out in a town you can’t remember the name of, with nothing to defend yourself except your two bare hands (which are now shaking)
but there’s something about the man before you that you just find so… warm? disarming? (…attractive? 😳) the gentle smile on his face, the way he softens his voice when he senses your nervousness...
you’re a little ball of conflicting feelings, half nerves and half head-over-heels for this unknown man. again, you blink, unable to find your voice to respond
“you’re alright, just take it easy,” he tries to help you relax. “this your first time in a place like this?” all you can manage is a nod. he gives you an understanding smile, “that’s perfectly fine. i’m here to help. can you tell me what you’re looking for, sweetheart?”
your eyes glance quickly back at the wall of toys in front of you before returning to him. he must see the increasing humiliation on your face. “u-um…” you’re finally able to stutter, “i-i don’t… i’m not… i guess i'm…”
he’s so patient and attentive it’s only making the butterflies in your tummy worse 😭 “not sure where to start?” he finishes for you. when you nod, he hums thoughtfully, “that’s okay, honey. do you have anything already that you like? is this for you to use on your own?"
you grit your teeth, nodding through the waves of embarrassment. “d-don’t have anything, sir. looking for something to start out with”
“i see,” he nods, looking over the selection on the wall before the two of you. “a bullet is a great beginner toy. simple, quiet, different levels of intensity to fit your needs. do you like clitoral stimulation?”
you have to fight yourself to keep from rubbing your thighs together right then and there 😩 something about the way he’s talking you through everything is sooo 🥲🥲 a feeling of dread hits as you realize you’re already getting wet
you force out a nod. he looks at a few options before picking out a small, discreet box. offering it to you, he explains, “this one’s my favorite. it’s nice and smooth, hard to hurt yourself with. rechargeable, medical-grade silicon. six levels of intensity. and the pink matches your nails,” he says sweetly, nodding at the shiny polish on the tips of your fingers
you clumsily accept the box, looking it over briefly. “there are instructions on the inside. the internet can be helpful too,” he suggests. the burning in your tummy worsens as he sees right through you, sniffing your complete innocence and inexperience with ease
“o-okay. this looks good. thank you,” you agree
“of course,” he nods with a sheepish smile. “once you get comfortable with that, we can work you up to something more sophisticated” you never implied that you’d be returning to him, but now that he’s said it, you know you couldn’t refuse. “and if you have any trouble, you can always come see me. i got a room in the back, we can take some time and find what works for you”
i might have to write that follow-up visit someday this is making me 🫠🫠
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angellayercake · 8 months ago
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RITE HERE RITE NOW RANT
Where were the other Papas??⁉️? It isn't right that they had a combined thirty seconds of screen time!! 😡😡 If it wasn't for them Then copua wouldn't even this opportunity would he?🚫?
ANd to make it worse🤬 it was lonG‼️So there should have been more time.to. honour papas of the past🙌 but I have already made this point. I had to go to the BATHROOM🚽two times 2️⃣ because it was so long. also who wants tolook at him that long anyway👹
why??????❓❔⁉️ does he get so many outfits! Designer outfits twenty of the same jackets in different colours??🔵🔴🟡⚫🟢 some papas just wore their robes(boring) and some papas were forced to have their shirts sewn into their jackets with very improper tailoring just because ""if you INsist on white gloves that need To be changed every day we have to cut costs elsewhere👿"* but cooia gets two robes ANS everything else???
Papa Iii is much more handsome 🧛and would look much better in the hd4k surroundsound big screen then HIM SO papa iiI deserves a film more and they should bring jim back just to show everyone this😏 and go show the people what its like to see songs sang. Properly!!! you have not been ciriced until you have been ciriced by papa 3💜💜💟 or so I have heard snyway...
YHE ONLY THING that is good is that it accurately shows what a rude SELFish self absorbed man this cOPis is(although the old man deserves no respect 👍🏻👍🏻) just tonight he ate the last cannoli without offering to aNYONE!!! ELSE‼️‼️ SO this i do think the film does right
BUT....
The door slams open and he almost drops his phone in surprise. He was sat where he had been sat all evening, collapsed into this chair in the clergy commons after his disappointing dinner, thinking. His expression soured even further now it seemed another one of his brothers was here to ruin his day.
"Are you reading reviews of the movie again, frattelino?" Secondo asks, squinting at him across the dark room. "There is steam coming from your ears."
"I am not reading them no," he smirks a little, pushing the glasses he usually pretends not to need up his nose before continuing to tap away at his phone with his pointer finger. Secondo flicks on the light switch disrupting him once again with the blinding light so he shoots him a quick glare before resuming his somewhat frantic yet stilted typing.
"I do not like that look," he accuses, pointing at him as he crosses the room. "What are you doing then?" He circles the armchair in which Terzo is slouched, leaning around to look at the screen over his shoulder.
"None of your business," he pulls the phone to his chest to hide the screen. "Why must you stick your big old nose where it is not wanted eh?"
"Let me see!" He tries to wriggle away from his brother's seeking hand, tustling each other like they used to when they were children. He almost slides free but his escape is thwarted but his stupidly large brothers hand clamping onto his shoulder and pulling away his phone with the other.
"Give that BACK!" He struggles out of the squishy chair pushing his glasses back up into his hair so he can glare uninterrupted at his brother who is now scrolling through his review, shaking his head and tutting like a stupid old chicken.
"Terzo this isn't very nice," he says it so patronisingly he has to resist stamping his foot in frustration. Why should he be nice! He never got a moment like this and if he had he knows he would have done more, done better. And shouldn't Secondo be mad too?
"I stand by what I said," he huffs crossing his arms indignantly. "Aren't you annoyed? That we barely got a mention? Just that we were dead?"
"Well I would say I got about twenty of the thirty seconds we were on screen so how can I complain?" He expects the typical reaction he usually gets when he teases his brother but when Terzo instead, visibly deflates before flopping back into his chair he realises this might be a bit deeper than he thought.
"Terzo, come now, what is really the matter?" He moves to perch on the arm of the chair, handing him back his phone. When he doesn't respond straight away he reaches over to mess with his brother's habitually pristine hair, ruffling it into a birdnest as he used to before whenever Terzo got in his head and needed a distraction.
"Ay!" He shouts batting at his hand but at least he is glaring at him again instead of pouting dejectedly.
"I am happy for Copia, I suppose," he starts hesitantly smoothing his hair back into place. "It's just, we all worked hard too, and yes we may have not been as successful but without us to lay the ground work whose to say he would be 'rite here, rite now'." He waves his hands around, air quoting the title of the film dramatically.
"You are not wrong frattelino," he pauses before continuing trying to decide how to best console him. "But that is not what this story is about. It is about truly experiencing the moment you are in now, and not letting the times of the past or the what ifs of the future ruin it." His shoulders drop with a sigh so he wraps an arm around him squeezing him firmly.
"I just never got to..." He trails off but they both know what he was about to say.
"I know," he squeezes him again. "And none of that makes what they did to you right but that is in the past. People still love us no? We still have many praising us and screaming our names no matter what Copia does. We all have a place. Ours was over there, back then but who knows what the future will bring?" He stops when he sees his brother finally perking up.
"You are right I suppose," he shoots him a sideways glance. "This time at least." He picks up his phone and repositions his glasses on his nose. "I better delete all this then" He starts to tap away at the screen but Secondo stills his hand.
"I didn't say that," He says with a smirk. "You should add one about how his wig looks terrible."
"But Copia doesn't wear a... Oh!" They are far too old for this, Secondo thinks as they giggle like children coming up with more and more ridiculous complaints about the film. But right here, right now, he doesn't care.
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runninriot · 6 months ago
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Damn You, Capitalism!
inspired by and written for @sidekick-hero , hope that helps getting through the day 🖤 because work sucks (i know!) - but eddie sucks harder 😏
1.231 words | cw: contains smut, nsfw, mdni
also on ao3
Steve has been drowning in work lately, it's a nightmare.
Eddie tries his best to support him, to make things as little stressful for him at home as it can possibly be.
He keeps the guitar unplugged when he's working on new music, to keep the noise at a minimum.
Always makes sure there's some meal ready for Steve to grab and microwave when and if he remembers to eat.
He reminds himself to do the dishes as soon as he's done with them because he knows how much Steve hates when the sink is full of dirty plates and forks and mugs.
Eddie even finally figured out how to use their new washing machine - he's not stupid, just lazy, and- why does that damn thing need so many buttons?
So, yeah. He's trying, really, because it breaks his heart every night when Steve comes home from work, looking one moment away from collapsing. Always tired, always moody, just- miserable.
Eddie wishes he could do more. Wishes he could take some of Steve's stress away, help him relax. Ease his mind just for a while.
And- look, he knows what would probably, most definitely help, that's not the thing. The problem is, Steve can barely even stay up long enough to kiss Eddie goodnight as soon as they're in bed. So any attempts of trying to have some one-on-one quality time with his husband aren't really up for debate right now.
Right?
Right.
He'll just have to wait for this massive project to be over and done with.
---
As Eddie crawls into bed shortly after Steve, he finds him quietly snoring, already fast asleep with his face mushed uncomfortably against his pillow.
Even in his sleep, he looks exhausted and it makes Eddie mad how much that job is demanding of Steve.
He pictures himself in front of the corporate building that holds his husband's soul captive, angrily stomping up and down the pavement while waving a sign that reads Damn You, Capitalism! and the thought makes him laugh.
He realises too late that he's been making an awful lot of noise, instantly shuts himself up with a hand over his mouth when Steve stirs awake and looks at him through bleary eyes.
   "Is everything okay?"
Steve sounds knackered (he learned that word from his British co-worker) and Eddie hates himself for ripping him out of his well-deserved sleep.
   "I'm sorry, baby. Everything's good. I didn't mean to wake you up. Just go back to sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning."
Eddie leans down to kiss his forehead before he turns off the light and lays down next to him, trying to be as still as he can to let Steve drift off peacefully again.
But the damage is already done. Even without looking he can sense that Steve has trouble falling back asleep and it’s confirmed by the heavy sigh Steve lets out.
   "Can you-" His voice flitters quietly through the room, "Can you suck my dick?”
    Oookay, what?
Eddie can’t help but snort at those words.
Steve must be dreaming. Maybe he did fall back asleep after all.
   “I’m being serious, Eds!” Steve sounds almost offended.
He then rolls to the side and even in the dark, Eddie can see his big eyes staring straight at him.
So, not sleeping, then.
   “Babe, are you sure? I’m just asking because- well, we haven’t done anything for weeks and I miss it. God, do I miss it. But you’ve been completely out of it not even 5 minutes ago and-“
What the hell is he even going on about?
His perfect, beautiful husband wants him to suck him off. Why the fuck is he still babbling instead of using his mouth to do exactly that?
   “I just think it’d help me sleep?”
Steve uses that honeysweet voice of his, the one he knows Eddie can never say no to, the one he always uses to get what he wants. And- like, what is Eddie if not a very devoted, very helpful, very loving husband that would quite literally do anything for his man?
---
Steve’s boxers are gone as quickly as the blanket before Eddie makes himself comfortable between his husband’s spread legs.
It’s almost embarrassing how much he’s already drooling just thinking about the perfect weight of Steve’s glorious cock on his tongue but- excuse him for not keeping his excitement in check when he’s literally been suffering from Steve-withdrawal for weeks now!
Still, he tries to take his time, not wanting it to be over too quickly. He can hear in Steve’s pleading moans that he won’t last long, can taste Steve’s desperation in each drop of precum that hits his tongue as he licks the tip.
It’s heaven.
It’s so good Eddie wants to cry.
    Fuck, he missed this. Missed the familiar stretch of his lips when he takes Steve in, the familiar sound of Steve’s husky voice, the scent of freshly showered skin, the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper on his lover’s cock as he swallows him down like he’s starving for it.
His hips can’t seem to keep still, wiggling and rubbing against the sheets where his own cock is searching for friction. But his focus is on Steve, he can take care of himself later. This is just for the beautiful man that is the light of his life – he deserves it. Deserves to be worshipped like the divine creature he is.
   “Ed- Eddie, oh God! Oh fuck!”
Steve’s words spur him on. He finds the perfect rhythm, uses one hand to pump Steve’s cock while his tongue curls around the tip. His other hand strokes the sensitive skin on his inner thigh, dragging his nails up and down, knowing too well that it drives Steve just a little insane.
   “Babe, I’m- I- fuck! Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. I’m so close!”
Eddie wouldn’t dream of it.
Not when it makes him so happy to hear and taste and feel his husband slowly falling to pieces. When, with every staggering breath, Steve crawls a little closer to the edge.
Until finally, Eddie is rewarded with a mouthful of Steve’s love; a sweet gift, despite the bitter taste, he swallows with pride, not wasting a single drop of it, taking it all in.
Beneath him, Steve’s trembling through his orgasm, legs shaking and breath uneven. He stops Eddie with a hand in his hair, tugging just lightly to make him look up.
   “Com’ere, baby. Wanna kiss you.”
A little reluctantly, Eddie leaves the perfect place between Steve’s thighs and crawls on top of him to comply.
They kiss slow and soft, no hurry, just their lips finding each other in the dark with gentle pressure.
   “Love you so much, baby,” Eddie whispers against Steve’s lips as he feels his movements slow down.
And as he kisses his way from Steve’s mouth to his cheek, to the tip of his nose, his closed lids and his forehead, Steve’s breathing eases into a steady, calm rhythm.
He’s asleep again, hopefully dreaming of beautiful things as he sinks deeper into Eddie’s embrace, lets his husband's warmth envelope him where they’re lying side by side.
Steve deserves it.
Because tomorrow, he has to fight his way through the constricting clutches of capitalism again.
Man, capitalism really sucks.
But, Eddie laughs to himself, he can suck harder.
291 notes · View notes
prythiansprincess · 2 years ago
Note
Hey! I love your work! I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males and so az (maybe he already has a thing for reader) offers to give her lessons? The more NSFW the better 😉
innocence.
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author's note: sorry for being m.i.a. please accept this as my apology gift. largely inspired by this song. you can't tell me that az doesn't have the biggest corrpution kink 😏
it started out innocently enough.
one winter evening after a particularly rowdy wine night, you and azriel laid in a heap at the house of wind, giggling at nothing as the warmth of the alcohol lowered your inhibitions and loosened your lips.
"never?" azriel asked incredulously, his brows creasing in the most adorable way. "you've truly never kissed anyone?"
you pouted, crossing your arms. thanks to cassian and his big mouth, the shadowsinger now knew the true extent of your naivete. growing up in the high priestess's temple in the dawn court, you had devoted much of your life to duty and training, which left little to no room for encounters with the opposite sex.
it never bothered you before. until you moved to the night court and met the shadowsinger. azriel was beyond gorgeous and smart and funny and probably well-versed in the art of seduction, which is more than you could say for your inexperienced self.
"don't tease, az." you groaned, covering your face behind your hands. as if that would hide the flush spreading through your cheeks. "i'm already mortified enough as it is."
"hey," azriel said softly as he gently grabbed your wrists. "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, love."
"you're just saying that to be nice."
the shadowsinger shook his head. "i torture people for a living," he deadpanned. "i am not nice."
you chuckled, which brought a smile to azriel's handsome face. "besides, practice makes perfect. i've seen you go from not knowing how to hold a sword to perfecting the eight point attack in a matter of weeks. kissing should be a piece of cake compared to that."
"kissing and fighting aren't the same thing."
azriel smirked. "it is, if you're doing it right. all it takes is a good teacher." the tips of your ears reddened. “and we all know how fast of a learner you are.”
you snorted. "somehow i doubt that nesta would be into the idea of letting me borrow her mate for lessons." a little frown formed on your face. "or maybe she would. you never know with those two."
the idea formed in azriel's mind before he could think better of it. the shadowsinger hated that he thought of it in the first place, but fuck. you were both a little tipsy and a tiny bit reckless and he'd been crushing on you for far too long and maybe tonight was the night he finally did something about it.
"i could teach you."
you stilled. “what?”
azriel shrugged and put on his most nonchalant expression even though his inner monologue was currently pure turmoil. “i could teach you how to kiss.” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to yours. “it might help to practice with someone you’re comfortable with.”
you cocked your head, weighing his words. “you’re…actually serious about this.”
“why wouldn’t i be?”
“well, wouldn’t it make things weird? you’re my best friend. best friends don’t just kiss.”
you had him there. azriel certainly had never offered this unique service to any of his friends before. “i don’t think it’s weird. i think it makes perfect sense. in fact, it’s weird that we’re not kissing right now. best friends kiss all the time,” the shadowsinger deadpanned.
you snorted. “so you and cassian are just having heated little makeout sessions behind me and nesta’s back?”
azriel winked. “i won’t tell if you don’t.”
that earned an earnest little giggle out of you. then you were quiet again, lost in the pros and cons.
pro: you really wanted to kiss azriel.
con: you really wanted to kiss azriel.
what if you were horrible at it? what if you had bad breath? what if you accidentally bit him? what if azriel figured out that you had a pathetic little crush on him and he doesn’t return the feelings and your friendship implodes then you’d have to move back to the dawn court and adopt a bunch of cats just like thesan always teased you about when you were children—
“you’re spiraling.”
you crossed your arms. “am not.”
azriel rolled his eyes fondly. “i can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” his expression softened as he turned over on the couch, his chin perched in one hand. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i just…” the bob of an adam’s apple. “i just wanted your first kiss to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.”
that turned your insides into mush. “oh.”
the shadowsinger’s cheeks reddened. “never mind, it sounds silly now that i’ve said it out loud.”
“it’s not,” you said, sitting cross legged on the sofa. “it’s not stupid, az. it’s really sweet, actually.”
your heart hammered inside of your chest as you faced azriel. his hazel eyes glowed golden under the faelights and a warm flush colored his cheeks a rosy tone. from this close, you could make out the constellations of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks, its traitorous little trail stopping just above his cupid’s bow. you couldn’t help it. your gaze went straight to his lips. they looked soft, sensual, and perfectly kissable. you wondered if he’d taste like sweet wine.
“y/n?” azriel murmured softly.
“hmm?”
“you’re staring.”
your cheeks reddened and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of azriel’s mouth. “you’re the one who brought up kissing,” you countered, raising a brow. “now i can’t stop staring at your stupid lips.”
the shadowsinger’s smirk grew wider. “my stupid lips,” he repeated. “that you want to kiss.”
“no,” you blurted. azriel raised a knowing brow. “yes. maybe.” you shifted awkwardly. “what if i’m terrible at it? what if i accidentally miss? what if i don’t know where to put my hands? oh my gods, what if i accidentally bite you?”
to his credit, there wasn’t an ounce of judgement on azriel’s face. he’d witnessed your outbursts enough times that he wasn’t even fazed by it. the shadowsinger grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles over your knuckles. “one, no one’s first kiss is great. at best, it’s weird and awkward because you’re just trying to figure it out. that’s kind of the point. two, you won’t miss. just follow my lead. three, the neck or waist are generally safe spots to place your hands.” azriel demonstrated by wrapping your arms around his neck. “lastly, i don’t mind if you bite me. in fact, i might enjoy it.” he gave you a cheeky wink that helped dissipate the rest of your anxious worries.
you chuckled softly. leave it to azriel to make you laugh mid freak out. the shadowsinger smiled and cauldron fucking boil you, the sight of it pretty much sealed your fate.
“so,” you murmured, toying with the loose curls at the nape of azriel’s neck. “what now?”
“that’s entirely up to you, love.”
you blinked. once, twice. the smell of cedar and starkissed night. freckles and rosy cheeks. warm, golden eyes that melted your insides like honey. scarred hands that caressed the side of your face with heartbreaking gentleness.
“kiss me, azriel.”
the shadowsinger did not need to be told twice. he tilted your chin, brushing his nose against yours for a brief moment. azriel took a deep breath like he was savoring the moment, like his entire life had been leading up to this. then he kissed you.
his lips were as soft as freshly plucked rose petals and as sweet as the wine that still coated your tongue. they pressed against yours, gentle and exploring as azriel cupped your cheek. you leaned into him and your fingers found purchase in his silky, dark locks as azriel deepened the kiss. his arm snaked across your back as he pulled you into his lap, his mouth never once leaving yours. the sweet innocent pecks did not stay innocent for long.
the shadowsinger groaned as you nestled into him. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t pressed against him, but still you wanted more. your hands moves of their own accord and slipped underneath azriel’s cream sweater. his skin felt like a warm summer day despite the fact that it was currently the dead of winter.
“fuck,” azriel growled into your neck.
you pulled away, startled. it didn’t even occur to you that your fingers were as cold as icicles. “shit. sorry, az i didn’t think—“
you slipped your hands out of his sweater, but azriel caught you by the wrist. “no,” he grunted, his voice dark and low and dangerous. “no, don’t stop.”
it was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. even hotter still with the way azriel tugged you to him as though he’d rather die than have you stop touching him. you greedily obliged, taking the lead this time. azriel cursed under his breath as you kissed him again, tangling his curls between your fingers. there was something intoxicating about him—his taste, his touch, his kiss. you couldn’t get enough.
when you finally came up for breath, the shadowsinger looked at you as though he’d been starving for centuries and you’d only really begun to scratch the surface of his hunger. azriel wanted to devour you.
but tonight, he’d settle for a kiss. except, it was anything but.
azriel was fucked.
he blinked, drinking in your lust added gaze and flushed cheeks. you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and it was all he could do to reel himself in. “are…are all first kisses like that?” your voice was hoarse from disuse and utterly sexy.
“no,” azriel answered honestly. “i’ve never had a kiss like that.”
your grin brought out a set of dimples that azriel had long ago deemed as his greatest weaknesses. “and i’ve never had a first kiss, period.”
and you never will again, azriel thought. not if he could help it.
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“does that feel good, love?” azriel asked as he pressed a kiss against your collar bone.
you whimpered as his lips trailed between the valley of your breasts. since that first kiss, you and azriel hadn’t been able to keep your hands off of each other. over the last few weeks, the apprehension you felt about your inexperience slowly started to feel like a blessing in disguise. azriel said you were a fast learner, but only because he was such a great teacher.
“gods,” you breathed, clutching the sheets as azriel continued his descent.
“you can just call me az, you know.”
you rolled your eyes at the cheeky male below you. from this angle, he certainly looked like a god. his hair was a tousled mess, dark curls tangled from where you ran your fingers through it. sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, his golden brown skin glowing in the afternoon light. you were vaguely aware that the sun as setting over the horizon, which meant that the rest of your friends would be arriving for dinner, but neither one of you seemed to care.
during the past few weeks, you and azriel continued your lessons. first base was easy enough to master. the two of you put in plenty of hours sneaking off to make out in azriel’s room, the wine cellar, the training pits, and even in feyre’s art studio at the river house once when things really got desperate. it was a wonder that your friends hadn’t caught you yet. there had been several close calls with cassian. mostly because the male was a nosy busybody.
second base took a little more work. you were terrified at first. you and azriel had been making out in your bed for what seemed like hours before you finally mustered up the courage to slip your hand into his trousers. the shadowsinger made a sound that was half growl and half purr and for a split second you were afraid that you’d hurt him. when you voiced your fears, azriel was quick to reassure you.
“i’m not in pain, love.” azriel said, his voice strained and breathy. “trust me, i feel the complete opposite.”
“tell me how to make you feel good, az.”
the string of curse words that fell from his lips were so filthy that it made you blush. the shadowsinger guided your hand over his cock and you nearly gasped at the impressive length. azriel was hot and hard beneath your touch, his wings flexing as you grasped him in your hand.
“loosen your grip, love.” azriel adjusted your hand, motioning for your fingers to relax and mold against him. you mimicked his movement, eliciting a low rumble out of the shadowsinger. the competitive part of you awakened, eager to make azriel groan like that again. you gazed up at azriel through your lashes with determination. “gods, don’t look at me like that y/n or this lesson will be over before it’s even started.”
heat erupted in your core, but you shook the desire away. this was about azriel. you wanted to make him come undone for once instead of the other way around. “show me, az.” you said. “i want to see how you touch yourself.”
“cauldron boil me,” azriel muttered under his breath. “you’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”
you watched as he gripped himself and pumped at a steady pace. he slowed down the movements for you and you studied each flick of his wrist as though you’d be tested on it later. as sinful as it was, there was something heavenly about watching azriel stroke himself. your hands itched to touch him. once you felt confident enough, azriel let you take over.
azriel’s eyes rolled back as you pumped his shaft, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest. his heavy breathing filled the room and it quickly became your favorite sound in the world.
you felt a strange rush of power witnessing azriel in such a vulnerable state. his lids were heavy with lust, golden eyes barely visible from the ring of onyx swallowing up his irises. you thought he looked pretty like this, his head tilted back against your headboard while his lips parted to release a shallow breath every now and then.
"you have no idea how good that feels, love." azriel grunted. you tightened your grip, spreading the bead of precum over his tip. your little improvisation was met with a moan that seeped into your bones.
"how good, az?" you teased.
those long lashes of his kissed the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. "fucking amazing," azriel declared. "keep going, love. don't stop, please. gods—"
"you can just call me y/n, you know."
azriel growled in response before pulling you in for a heated kiss. his hips thrust up to match your pace as his tongue parted your lips. he swallowed your moans, devouring you like his life depended on it.
“just like that, love.” azriel said in appreciation. “you’re doing such a good job, y/n.”
the praise affected you more than you thought it would. you were always seeking positive feedback when it came to your work, especially in training, but this was something else. it only encouraged you to keep going at a faster pace until azriel was coming undone in your hands. the sight of him losing control would forever be etched in your mind.
the more azriel gave, the more you craved. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. the whole thing may have started as a practical way to tackle sex, but as time went on, it started to evolve into something else entirely.
until the lessons weren’t really just lessons anymore.
if you had to pinpoint the moment when everything changed, it would have been a few days after winter solstice. azriel had been away for a mission and was unable to make it home for the festivities. throughout the night, you kept finding yourself fidgeting and glancing at the empty seat beside you. at one point during dinner, cassian squeezed your hand and smiled sadly.
“i’m sure he misses you too, y/n.”
the gravity of those words hit you full force when you found azriel standing in the doorway of your flat. he was still dressed in his combat leathers and dark circles formed underneath his eyes as though he’d flown nonstop from wherever he was to get back home. before you could stop yourself, you rushed at him and nearly knocked him into the street from the force of your hug.
“i know, love.” azriel murmured softly into your hair. “i missed you, too.”
one bath and two cups of hot chocolate later, you found yourself curled up on the sofa as snow fell softly against the windowpane. you set your drink down on the table and turned to face azriel.
“so, i was thinking…”
the corner of azriel’s mouth quirked. “that’s never good.”
you tossed a pillow at him and rolled your eyes. “i was thinking that maybe it’s my turn to teach you a lesson, for once.”
the shadowsinger looked intrigued by that. “oh yeah? and what do you want to teach me, love?”
“i’m going to teach you how to sleep, az.” you pointedly stared at his bruised eyes, which only made him chuckle in amusement. “because judging from those bags underneath your eyes, you’re no expert in the matter.”
“i don’t get a say in this, do i?” shadows peered over his shoulders as though they too yearned for rest.
“nope,” you said cheerfully, dragging him off the couch and into your bedroom.
azriel let you bully him into getting underneath the covers. he tucked his wings to the side as he faced you. “what’s so great about this thing you call sleep, then? seems pretty boring to me.”
“well if you’d let me demonstrate,” you said impatiently before tugging him towards you. azriel chuckled and scooted closer. “i’ll have you know i’m a world class cuddler.”
“yeah? prove it then, love.” azriel teased.
the shadowsinger watched in amusement as you bossed him around. first you made him lie on his stomach and then pulled him to your chest. as much as he enjoyed teasing the absolute hell out of you, he couldn’t help but murmur in satisfaction as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. even his shadows seemed to enjoy bathing in your warmth and breathing in your jasmine shampoo.
“mmm,” az mumbled sleepily. for the first time in gods knew how long, he felt warm and safe and content. “you’re bossy as hell, but comfy too.”
“i know, you stubborn giant bat baby.”
the shadowsinger snorted. “giant bat baby?”
you rolled your eyes fondly. “shut up and cuddle, az.”
azriel burrowed himself further until his body heat warmed every inch of your skin. “that’s the good stuff,” he declared, brushing a soft kiss against your collarbone.
“told you i was good,” you said with a smile. azriel couldn’t even argue. with your hands massaging his scalp and your legs intertwined with his, the shadowsinger would’ve agree to anything you said.
“the best,” he hummed against your skin.
this was dangerous territory. with your other lessons, it was easy to shove aside your feelings because pleasure made it hard to think about anything else. but with azriel laying on your chest and clinging onto you like this meant something more…you could no longer avoid that pesky voice of doubt.
you were in love with azriel.
you had been for a long time.
shit.
“y/n?” azriel asked, cutting through the turmoil of your thoughts. his wings draped over the sides of your bed, relaxed and at ease.
“yeah?”
his golden eyes found yours in the dark. for a second, he stared at you like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. the shadowsinger opened his mouth like he was going to say something important, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and smiled.
“good night, love.”
in that moment, you knew azriel had your heart in the palm of his hand. “good night, az.”
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azriel knew it was only a matter of time before these lessons came back to bite him on the ass.
he had been so eager that first night. mostly because he'd had a crush on you for so long and it was finally time to do something about it. the shadowsinger knew that he probably should've just told you how he felt, but he didn't want to shatter this delicate thing between you.
after all, these were just lessons. for all he knew, he was just your practice partner. it wasn't really all that different from sparring. except your weapons where your lips and your hands and your fucking smile that made his heart skip a beat every time you so much as grinned at him from across the room.
gods, he was so fucked.
the reality of it didn't fully hit him until that disastrous spring night.
the two of you had perfected third base eons ago. azriel knew how to make you cum with his mouth using a combination of expert tongue flicks and help from his shadows. nothing brought him joy like your shaking legs greedily wrapping around him as he ate your pussy like a man starved.
azriel thought he found the key to happiness until you returned the favor and went down on him.
finding restraint was hard. reeling his desire in while you knelt before him with your lips wrapped around his cock was nearly impossible.
"like this?" you asked, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. azriel thought he was going to come right then and there when you looked up at him through your lashes, determination burning in your gaze.
you had always been intense. azriel knew that much from months of training together, but he didn't expect you to approach sex with the same competitiveness. you put your all into everything you did, which is what made azriel fall for you in the first place. he just didn't think you'd take the same approach when it came to sucking his dick. not that he was complaining.
in fact, all he could really do was moan.
the shadowsinger attempted to pull it together long enough to utter a coherent sentence. he had to at least attempt to say something helpful. you were putting your trust in him. he liked knowing that he'd been your first everything. now he just had to muster up the courage to tell you that he also intended to be the last.
he tried. he really did.
that night in his room. laying in bed with your legs tangled together. the soft spring breeze billowing through your curtains. azriel watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards him.
"so, what now?" you asked.
azriel's brows furrowed with confusion. "what do you mean, love?"
you tilted your head, biting down on your bottom lip as you mulled over what to say next. it was one of your many little quirks that azriel adored. "i mean, what happens now? we've pretty much covered all the bases. except for one."
sex. you hadn't had sex yet. azriel knew this would come up sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be the latter. while it was easy to pretend that the lessons were just lessons to him, azriel couldn't do that with sex. it had always been hard for him to separate his feelings from the physical act and as much as he wanted to make sure that your first experience would be with someone who loved you, it wouldn't be fair to have sex without telling you the truth.
"i don't think that would be a good idea." as soon as the words left his mouth, azriel knew it was the wrong thing to say. he could tell that much from the look on your face. "i just mean, we shouldn't rush into anything."
"rush?" you asked incredulously. "azriel, we've spent the last three months doing anything and everything under the sun except sex."
"and it's been great," azriel said, trying to reel the conversation back in. "the lessons. trusting each other. but i just think you should take a step back and consider if you're truly ready."
that intense gaze he loved so much suddenly felt like the sweltering sun that azriel couldn't wait to shy away from. "you were my first kiss, az. my first everything. i think i've made it pretty clear on where i stand." you paused for a second, scanning his face. "oh my gods. i didn't even think to ask if you wanted this."
you were up before the absurdity of that statement could sink into azriel. if he wanted this? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life.
"they were just lessons," you murmured to yourself while gathering your clothes. “how could i be so stupid?”
"y/n, please." azriel pleaded, not entirely believing what he was hearing. he nearly tripped over his own bedsheets as he followed you across the room.
“no, az. i’m sorry, i thought—“ your eyes brimmed with tears. the sight broke his fucking heart. “it’s not your fault. i just assumed—“
“that i’m in love with you?” azriel asked, gently gripping your wrists. you froze, wide eyes pinning azriel in place. “because i am, you know. i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. this past few months, it’s killed me to pretend that whatever this is between us is just lessons.”
your gaze softened. “why didn’t you ever say anything?”
azriel chuckled bitterly. “because i’m a coward. i was scared that you might not feel the same way, so i settled for whatever scraps you were willing to give me.”
tears filled your eyes again and azriel was scared he’d fucked it up again, but you wiped your cheeks and cupped his face. “you deserve more than that, azriel.”
“i know, love.” he bowed his head. “and you deserve more than just lessons. that’s why i don’t want to have sex. not unless you know what this means to me. if we do this, there will be no one else. not today, not ever. i may be your first, but i also intend to be your last. if you’ll let me.”
a stray tear fell down your cheek, but it was a happy one this time. “if you haven’t noticed, i’m totally crazy about you, az. i think i’ve been in love with you longer than i wanted to admit.”
“can’t blame you,” the shadowsinger said. “i’m totally lovable.”
you smacked him in the chest, but azriel only laughed before he kissed you. really kissed you. it felt like you were floating on air.
gods, you loved him. you really did.
you smiled into the kiss. “i love you, az.”
the shadowsinger kissed the tip of your nose. “i love you too, y/n.”
“so…no more lessons, right?”
azriel shook his head and scooped you into his arms. “no more lessons. i want the real thing this time.”
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harrystylesfan2686 · 1 year ago
Text
Alone Part 2 (Alternative Ending)
Pairing: Eris x Reader
Summary: Reader finally finds someone who cares for her but at what cost...
Warnings: Minor Mention of self harm
A/N: Surprise😏
Masterlist Part 1
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It has been three days since your last mission, the very mission that got you hurt and made you realize just how fucked your head is. Three days since you left the fight that left you with a big tear at your waist which will most definitely leave a scar.
It's half healed already, so is the cut you gave yourself but you didn't realize how deep you hurt yourself because it's left a thin white line that's fully healed but can be easily recognized.
You shift on your feet from where you're standing beside the rest of inner circle. You are at the high lords meeting, accompanying your High Lord and High Lady.
You keep moving your weight from one foot to another because the pressure keeps causing pain in your waist. You can't wait for this to be over.
When you get a chance to leave you take it, running of the the nearest restroom you can find. You take off your fight leathers to find out you bled through your bandaid. You rub your hands over your head trying to think of a way you can hide your injury from everyone.
"Well, what do we have here." A voice fills the room, one that you know oh so well. He always does this, annoy you or talk to you every chance he gets. You don't know why but you put up with him everytime too. You practically hear the smirk in his words as you complaint to the Mother for putting you in this situation right now.
"Go away, Eris." You hope for him to take the hint and leave you alone but you, too, know that it's too late considering you can clearly smell you blood in the room, and so can he.
He crosses the room in just a few strides and puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you around with surprising gentleness. He sees the blood on you shirt that's seeped out of your bandaid and intakes a sharp breath.
"Left up your shirt." You are taken a back at his order. Mouth opened agaped as you see anger swirling in his amber eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"Y/N, If you don't lift your shirt up in the next minute, I'm going to rip it off of you." He practically growls. Your eyes widen and he raises his eyebrows, daring you to question him.
After a minute of silence, he raises his hands to your shirt and you take a step back,"Alright! I'll do it!" His eyes narrow and you sigh, lifting you shirt for his to see the scarlet bandage.
"Who did this to you?" His hands clench into fists.
"No one. It's nothing." You sigh.
"Was it an enemy?" You shake your head. "Who was it?" You shut your mouth and look away. Eris' eyes widen in realisation. "Was it them?" He spits in anger. You look back at him and your lack of answer in enough for him.
"I'm going to kill them." His body radiates pury fury as he steps away from you and starts walking towards the bathroom door.
"Eris!" You run to step in front of him, blocking the door and putting your hands against his chest, gasping because of the movement causing sudden pain to your waist. Eris immediately wraps an arm around you waist and searches you for any other cause of pain.
"Are you crazy?" You exclaimed.
"No. I'm fucking angry that the people who are your apparent family, who are supposed to protect you, hurt you. And I intent on hurting them just as much."
"Eris, you're going to start a war! And that's not even the point. They didn't hurt me alright, at least not physically. I went on a mission a few days ago and got hurt, they had nothing to do with it. They don't even know I'm hurt, for gods' sake." But that doesn't seem to calm him.
"What do you mean they didn't hurt you physically? And how the hell do they not know you've been hurt since days?" It seems like his rage just amplifies.
"I just didn't tell them alright?"
"They should've checked you for injuries the second you came back from the mission and they didnt care enough to do that. And what kind mission leaves your entire waist fucking open?!" He puts a hand behind your neck.
"Why are you acting like this? Why do you care if they care?" You don't notice you close proximity because you are so shocked from the way he's reacting.
"Because I care about you!" You intake a sharp breath. "What?"
"I care. I care for you. I always have." He looks into your eyes with so much honesty that it leaves you speechless.
"I care for you so deeply. I always have, and I thought you would figure that out yourself because of the way I talk to you. Why do you think I only talk to you. Why take every chance I can have to hear to speak to me, to hear your voice, doesn't matter if you're bitter.
I take every chance I can get to have your attention because I care for you. I do not know why, but I do and im not ashamed of it. I know you don't care for me the same way but I don't care, I'll take every second of your time that you'll give me."
What are you hearing? Someone truly cares for you? This isn't true. It must be a joke. It has to be. This is no way that Eris Vanserra cares for you. He cares for no one. Everybody know that.
So then why are you believing him, believing his words, clinging to them for dear life. If this truly is a prank, if what he is saying wasnt true, you don't think you'll survive. You won't survive another Heartbreak. But something tells you that he isn't lying, that he is telling the truth, that he truly, genuinely cares for you. Something deep in your heart tells you that he might truly love you.
You gasp when you feel it. Feel everything click into place. Feel the second everything in you life finally makes sense.
"You feel it now, don't you?" His voice soft as a tug feels on your heart. Your breath heavy as you look at him in the eyes, feeling the thin golden string connecting your souls to one another.
"So leave them." He pleads.
"Why are you doing this, my love? Who are you doing this for? They don't care about you." His hand on your cheek, swiping back and forth softly while the other hugs your waist, pushing you flush against him. "I do. I care about you so much and I refuse to see you hurt yourself for people who don't value your existence." He puts his forehead to yours.
"Leave them, come with me to Autum Court and I will treat you like the queen you are. And even if you don't want to come with me it's alright, just leave them. Please." His voice cracks with your heart, taking a piece of it with him daring not to return. You don't want him to.
"Okay. I'll come with you." Tears fall down your face as his breaks into a smile. "Really?" His voice unsure.
"Yeah, I'll leave Valaris, leave them. I'll come with you." You smile genuinely after a long time and he sighs in relief.
His lips slam to yours and you both lose yourselves in the kiss. You smile into his lips, finally happy to have found someone who cares for you enough to threaten to go into war for you.
You finally found your person and you will never let him go.
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tab00-1nce51 · 1 month ago
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Help from Aunt India.
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India: - What is he doing there? Oh ..
Sam: - Oh, aunt India has come. Hello
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India : - (Thinks) Oh... my. Is he jerkind off ?
India: - Excuse me, please,I'll leave the towels and I'm already leaving.
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Sam : - No. No. Don't go aunt India. Stay please.
India : - Oh honey
India : - Oh dear, i don't even know. I didn't know you were busy... This...
India : - (Thinks) whoa. What a big penis he has.💞 Oh, what i'm thinking ...
Sam : - Please stay. Stay with me
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Sam : - Aunt India, you came in so timely. Will you help me? I'll close the door. So that no one comes in. To us. 💞
India : - Do you need my help? Isn't it too early for you to do this?
Sam : - No. It's not my fault that all the teachers in our camp are such beauties. I need your help.
India : - My help? And you won't tell anyone about it?
Sam : - Of course not. I promise.
India : - Baby, you're jerking off. You're doing this in front of me. Are you doing this on purpose?
Sam : - Yes. I'm jerking off to you. I've always liked you, Aunt India.
India : - Really? I did not know. This is so unexpected.
Sam : - Undress Aunt India. And come to me. I can see you want it too
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India : - Oh my. What I'm doing?
India : - Well, where do we start?
Sam : - First, take it in your hand.
India : - Okay.. Wow is so big 💕
Sam : - Do you like it?
India : - Oh yeah. Mmmmmh
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Regan : - What are those sounds? What's going on there?
Sam : - Oh, Aunt Regan's here. Hello
Regan : - Hi Sam. I heard strange noises what are you doing here?
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Sam : - (Thinks) f.. ck. I forgot to close the door.
Regan : - Oh, Miss India is with you. Naked? What's going on here? 👀
Regan : - Oh, Miss India is with you. Naked? What's going on here? 👀
India : - (Thinks) Oh no! She saw everything.
Sam : - Aunt Regan, it's not what it looks like. She was just helping me with my... uh... cramps.
Regan : - (Thinks) He's lying. But why? What's going on?
Regan : - Well, if she's okay with it, I guess I'll leave you two to it. Just make sure you're not disturbing anyone.
Sam : - Thank you, Aunt Regan. We'll be quiet.
India : - Yes, thank you. We'll be fine.
Regan : - Alright, just don't forget your towel, Miss India. And make sure to put your clothes back on. 😂
India : - (Thinks) How embarrassing. But I can't stop now.
Sam : - Don't worry, Aunt India. Let's continue. She's gone. 😏
India : - But what if she comes back?
Sam : - She won't. She's busy with the other students. Now, let's not waste any more time.
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Sam : - Sam took out his dick. he stood up. and told Aunt India. where did we stop? oh yes. you were going to suck my dick. start now
India : - (Thinks) I can't believe I'm about to do this.
India : - Alright, but remember, you can't tell anyone.
Sam : - I won't. I promise. Now, come closer.
India : - (Thinks) Here goes nothing.
India leaned in and took Sam's erect penis in her mouth, tentatively at first, then with more confidence as she heard his moans of pleasure.
Sam : - Mmmm. That's it, Aunt India. Take it all in.
India : - (Thinks) It tastes salty but surprisingly nice.
Sam : - You're doing great. Suck harder.
India began to bob her head up and down, her cheeks hollowing with each suck, as Sam's hand gently cradled the back of her head.
India : - (Thinks) Oh, he's enjoying it. I want him to cum.
India's eyes watered a bit as she took more and more of Sam's length into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the tip and along the shaft.
Sam : - Oh, Aunt India. I'm going to cum soon.
India : - Mmm-hmmm. (Nods)
Sam's grip on her head tightened as he started to thrust into her mouth, his hips moving in rhythm with her bobbing.
India : - (Thinks) I can feel him getting closer.
India's hands found their way to Sam's ass, pushing him deeper into her mouth as he neared climax.
Sam : - Aunt India, I'm going to cum. Swallow it all.
India : - (Thinks) Okay. I can do this.
Sam exploded in her mouth, and she swallowed every drop, her throat convulsing slightly around his pulsing cock.
Sam : - (Panting) Aunt India, that was amazing. Thank you.
India : - (Thinks) What have I done? But it was also kind of hot.
India wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and took a step back, trying to process what had just happened.
Sam : - So, does this mean we can do this again sometime?
India : - (Thinks) Maybe. But let's keep this between us.
India : - We'll see, Sam. For now, I should get back to my duties.
Sam : - Of course. Thank you again, Aunt India.
India quickly grabbed her towel and clothes, slipping them on before rushing out of the room, her heart racing and mind swirling with what had just occurred.
Sam : - (Thinks) That was incredible. And it's just the beginning.
Sam couldn't help but feel a sense of victory and excitement. He had just crossed a line that most would never dare to, and the thrill of it all was intoxicating.
India : - (Thinks) I can't believe I did that. But I want more.
India hurried back to her cabin, her cheeks flushed and her mind racing. She knew she couldn't resist the temptation that was now laid bare before her.
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The camp was abuzz with the usual activities, but India and Sam now had a secret that hung heavy in the air, unspoken but palpable.
As they went about their day, exchanging knowing glances and smirks, the tension grew thicker, a silent promise of future encounters that neither could ignore.
The lines of family and desire had been blurred, and as the sun set on another day at camp, it was clear that this summer was going to be anything but ordinary.
To be continued....
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hexbimbo · 2 months ago
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DBD HCs | Killers Christmas
Evan MacMillian
Starts the fire in the hearth to kick off the party.
Was kinda forced into coming by the Entity. Doesn’t really care for the holidays.
Only sticks with killers he can tolerate like Wraith, Blight or maybe Deathslinger
His secret Santa gift is trap grease and some paint.
Philip Ojomo
Holds the box of decorations while Sally decorates.
They totally arrived together but play it cool. We know what’s up 😏
Dances with Sally too! Makes the whole party pretty magical.
His secret Santa gift a new shawl with a nice red dye.
Max Thompson Jr.
Slaughters the Christmas Ham.
Wants to do Christmas with his friends. Loves watching the old Christmas movies in the quiet of the den.
Wears a lot of plaid. Definitely only in his pjs.
His secret gift is a southern breakfast basket.
Sally Smithson
Hangs the high decorations because she can fly.
Nibbles cookies over a plate. She really likes the ones with jam or fruit puree in the middle.
Hand feeds Phillips little snacks.
Her secret Santa gift is a dried bouquet of baby’s breath. (Get it?)
Micheal Myers
Is assigned kitchen duty. Chops everything horribly.
Smells awful. Ever had a homeless guy stand too close to you and they smell like poo and sweat? Yeah.
No one knows why he even came. Total space kid.
His secret Santa gift is a knife sharpener. Maybe a box of plastic forks.
Lisa Sherwood
Brings the pinecone jam.
Wears a a sweater that’s actually clean and fresh smelling.
Gargles in the affirmative or negative for conversations.
Her secret Santa gift is a bundle of sticks with a pretty purple ribbon.
Herman Carter
People watches the whole night from a corner table.
Starts drama. Hak sure is annoying isn’t he? Sally and Phillip didn’t even bring anything…
Maybe gets drunkly punched.
His secret Santa gift is a brain encased in a jar of liquid.
Anna
Brings a wild boar. Unskilled. Might still be alive.
Wears a turtle neck and long skirt. Looks like a big mama bear.
Rocks when she gets overstimulated with all the music and foreign words.
Her secret Santa gift is a yarn ball and crocheting needles.
Bubba Sawyer
Brings a pressure cooker of his famous chilli.
Don’t mind the finger that’s the concentrated flavor 😤
Helps out in kitchen. Adds that home cooked flavor.
His secret Santa gift is a framed picture of his family. Don’t ask how Rin even got ahold of the damn thing.
Freddy Krueger
Was not invited.
They may be killers, but they don’t fuck around with no pedos.
Would probably just keep killing people. Doesn’t fuss with the holidays.
His secret Santa gift a box of matches.
Amanda Young
Brings spinach and artichoke dip. Some toasted pita too.
Doesn’t drink. Leaves soda cans everywhere.
Goes without the pig mask cuz it’s lowkey rotting and no one wants to smell that.
Her secret Santa gift is a box of Funyuns. It’s a comfort food for her.
Jeffery Hawk
Brings homemade chicken wings.
You don’t understand- he’s ever one of the best cooks or worst cooks of all time. You wanna know why? He doesn’t care how much butter or salt is added into a dish.
Are the wings sanitary? Probably not. Is that a heroine needle sticking out there…?
His secret Santa gift is high quality face paint.
Rin Yamaoka
Her twitches and moans of agony kinda freak everyone out at first.
That’s all she does really. Stand there and groan.
Hangs out with her Grandpa! They try throwing a ball out in the yard. Or the sword fight. Thats fun.
Her secret Santa gift is a journal and pencil pack.
Frank, Julie, Susie, Joey
The ones hosting. Decorating and cleaning almost needed in tears for everyone.
Steals a billion types of pizza, chips, and soda.
Does not clean at all. Gets plastered and leaves the guest to fend for themselves.
Their secret Santa gift is stolen electronics.
Adiris
Has entire conversations without realizing no one can understand her.
Her little smoke and chain ball is stuffed with cinnamon and holiday spices. Makes the whole lodge smell nice.
Insists on the Entity version of saying grace before everyone eats.
Her secret Santa gift is a pack of incense.
Danny Johnson
Taking pictures for the memories.
Constant pulling little pranks and jokes the Legion. Does it start a fight?
Yes. Yes it does.
His secret Santa gift is some camera film.
Demogorgon
Has to be stopped from eating the tree multiple times
Burrows and pops up so hard it sends tables flying.
Ends up being leashed outside with Xeno after biting Portia’s doggy.
Its secret Santa gift is some metal to chew.
Kazan Yamaoka
Brings Hot Pot.
Is the one punching people who are stirring up shit.
Catches up with Rin. Wants to be parent he never kinda really wanted to be. 🥺
His secret Santa gift is a sword mantle strong enough to bare the weight of his sword.
Caleb Quinn
Brings scalloped potatoes au gratin
Ties his hair up into a low bun. Kinda looks cute on him.
Kinda like a level headed hippie grandpa. If there’s kids, he’ll get down on their level to play with them.
His secret Santa gift is a box of random gears, wires, and screws to build with.
Pyramid Head
Brings a severed hand with a bow on the knuckles.
No one ever sees it still. It’s always kinda walking around.
Some jokester maybe wrapped his head in lights.
Their secret Santa is a looser pair of trousers for the dumpy 🍑
Talbot Grimes
Seems like a lunch kinda guy
Talks science with Albert.
Twitches so much people think he’s bugging out.
His secret Santa gift is some herb seeds.
Charlotte and Victor Deshayes
The siblings who only talk to each other.
Victor gets mistake for a tot a few times. Gets picked up and promptly scratches the face off Caleb.
Charlotte fixes heaping plates for the both of them. Probably some of the best food they’ve ever had
Their secret Santa gift is gourmet cabbage. You think I’m joking? They are over the goddamn moon.
Ji-Woon Hak
Gets in peoples faces to blog.
Takes cute pictures of a plate of food but doesn’t eat it.
Maybe brings a fancy platter made by a restaurant.
His secret Santa gift is a a small fridge for his beauty products.
Nemesis T-Type
Heavy breather.
Tracks mud in and draaaaaags it on the carpet IN THE DEN.
Kinda just stands behind people and breaths down their neck.
His secret Santa gift is some badges and pins to add to the buckles on his boots.
Elliot Spencer
Doesn’t celebrate the holidays.
The only way he’d ever go is to watch people socially suffer.
Maybe sounds outside to watch the snow fall with the other cenobites.
His secret Santa gift is a toolbox of rusted nails.
Carmina Mora
Cuts paper snowflakes to hand from the windows.
Pretty outgoing! Definitely has an eccentric charm that quiet artists have.
Kinda becomes best friends with Rin during this party. Both had similar childhoods and were on the path to being successful before what happened happened.
Her secret Santa gift is new aisle to match her taller frame.
Sadako Yamamura
Brings some sea weed in her hands.
Keeps haunting the tv and ruining Home Alone.
Flutters in and out around the lodge. No one knows why she came.
Her secret Santa gift a pretty hair comb with seashells.
Dredge
Brings a sludge of leaves and bones.
Gets mistaken for a coat rack. Floats around wearing everyone’s outerwear
Stands a little too close to people. Might get drunkly punched.
Their secret Santa gift is a cardboard box.
Albert Wesker
Wears a turtle neck that fits him perfectly.
Shows up with a bottle of wine. Constanty slick back his hair.
Sips wine while watching the snow fall. Likes to talk business to the other killers: tactics, plans, and little stories.
His secret Santa gift is a glasses case.
Tarhos Kovács
Him and his crew are the ones roasting the meats over the fire.
They get rowdy and break some tables.
His men go nuts with the ale but he refrains. He’s s never been a been drinker but on the holidays, he’ll take a few sips of mulled wine.
His secret Santa gift is a leather skin satchel that attaches around the waist.
Adriana Imai
Brings coxhina
Only talks with “high class” killers (Wesker, Ji-Woon, Portia)
They have a silent judging table to talk mad shit about everyone.
Her secret Santa gift is a a fancy bottle of wine.
HUX-A7-13
On top of the Christmas tree.
Doenst know why they even bothered to come.
(It’s cuz Xeno went and they are in looooooove 😍🥰😘)
Their secret Santa gift
Xenomorph
On a leash in the backyard.
Fed dinner scraps that are promptly melted with acid.
It’s secret Santa gift a survivor to hunt whenever it chooses.
(HUX totally begged The Legion to get Xeno of secret Santa)
Charles Lee Ray
Him and Tiff drunkly make out on everything.
Like; really obnoxious. Bumps into peoples legs, keeps the bathroom occupied for hours.
Tiff will offer to help in the kitchen. Chuckle will sit on the couch and sip beer.
His secret Santa gift is a plate of Swedish meatballs.
Unknown
Crawls in on all fours. Needs to be restrained from snacking on peoples ankles.
Doesn’t bring anything but eats all the food. Then, promptly throws it all back up onto the serving table.
Wears an ill fitting Mrs. Klaus dress.
Their secret Santa gift is a terrarium full of spider and snake snacks.
Vecna
Did not come.
Doesn’t have time for meaningless holiday parties.
Stays at home casting hexes or spells or what ever he does.
His secret Santa gift was supposed to a skull jar filled with chocolate kisses.
Dracula
Brings a bottle of blood and a bottle of wine.
Kinda can’t handle being around people without his wife so he leaves early.
Has a ton of dry humor that makes the more mature killers smirk.
His secret Santa gift is a nail kit.
Portia Maye
Let’s her dog run lose and destroy almost everything.
Brings a bag of raw clams. Let’s other people cook them. Or eat them raw I dunno
Definitely wears cheetah print.
Her secret Santa gift is one of the furniture brushes for people with pets.
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closets-closet · 10 months ago
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little thot 🙏😏
Price working in his office inside his house, typing away on his laptop (that reader had to show him how to use) when suddenly in comes reader through his door, pretty sundress on, and baby bouncing on her hip
Piece can’t believe how hard he’s lucked out, doesn’t know what he did to deserve this as he never once imagined this type of life for himself, seeing himself as unlovable, but he’s forever grateful for his wife, and their little bundle of life. So of course he pushes his rolling chair out from under his desk so his gorgeous wife can plop down on his lap, baby now in her arms
ur welcome 😘
I screamed when I read this, i’m not even joking. I love the idea of domestic John Price…
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John Price, your all so loving husband, a man who would very well steal the moon if it ment you would give him that smile that melts away any of his worries. It’s a leasurly saturday, one of the few days your husband is home from base spending a few weeks with you and your little daughter, who just so happens to be the light of his life. He has himself sat in his office laptop open looking at a mission brief file that is refusing to open. He sighs loudly catching your attention from the sunroom where your fixing up your daughter, and a picnic basket for a family day out. “John?” You call out, voice floating down the hall “Is everything okay?” You pick up your daughter sitting her on your hip as you walk down the hall towards the study.
The second you step into his office the sight of you melts the stress and frustration from his body. You’re decorated in a patterned sundress that hangs at your knees and a babbling baby girl bouncing on your hip, her hair pulled into two small pigtails at the top of her head. “What’s wrong honey?” You ask walking over to him. “Stupid computer won’t pull up the file I need” He huffs as he pushes out his chair one of his hands patting his lap, signaling you to take a seat “Don’t understand why everything’s digital now, miss the days we had physical papers”
“John you’re showing your age” You giggle before sitting down on his lap, the muscle in his legs acting like a cushion. “Look here” You say moving the mouse “If you right click the file, you can unzip it and that will give you access to all the files” You watch as all the files he needs populate before him on the screen. “Not that hard now was it” You smile again, the little girl who’s now on your lap giving her father a big grin. “Thank you Sunshine” He whispers as he presses his bearded face into your shoulder his hands wrapping around both you and your girl. “What would I do without you” He gives you a quick kiss to the side of your neck before pulling you up as he stands. “Now if i’m not mistaken, we have a little date planned out” He gives your daughter a wink, before swooping her up into his arms. Pulling her close to his chest causing her to squeal in pure joy. He reaches, his fingers intertwining with yours. His finger moving to brush over your wedding ring. “So greatful to have you” He whispers before pulling you out of the study, and whisking you away on your family day out.
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I’m still squealing over this prompt, because i know damn well his wife is at least 7-10 years younger then him and he would most certainly be a silver fox.
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cloudytardigrade · 2 months ago
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fav things from the new longform (now one of my favourites)
•Luke being so confused in the beginning and then the "ohhh"
•The echoing mic was iconic
•Mrs Claus's sass
•Luke saying "What the fuck is Snowdrop??"
•"I have loved you since 0 AD"
•"I was a wise man" "I was dressed as a sheep"
•"You can call me a giant elf if you want but I don't give a shit, do y'know that?"
•The awkwardness of Snowdrop having to watch Mr and Mrs Claus argue
•"Barbados is on the naughty list. All of it"
•Also Krampus IS one of the best SFTH characters.
•The relationship between Santa and Snowdrop. THE PROTECTIVENESS <33
•"You just gonna keep being an asshole to me?.."
•The eyebrow raise from Snowdrop when Santa says "You slept with Javier!"
•The casual "See ya later" from Mrs Claus after having an argument that will probably end their relationship
•TOM PLAYING VILLAINS HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.
•"Breakfast, lunch and dinner: Santa's smiles"
•"September, October, yeah I'll do it, then November comes and it's like "fucking hell!!"
•Javier??? Xavier's long lost twin??
•I WILL be making fanart of the characters, specifically Krampus and Snowdrop bc they're my favs
•The hold back of laughter from Luke when Santa says "we recently found out this year that all elves have ADHD"
•"About time, Luke-I mean, Snowdrop"
•Sam singing 😭
•The little hand movements Luke does after Santa accidentalky says "Luke" instead of Snowdrop
•Krampus talking in third person
•The way Krampus and Little Krampus get around
•"You have DHHA" "Damn Hot Attention Awareness"
•The hair caress that Krampus gives Little Krampus, which shows their love
•Krampus holding his leg whilst moving
•"Welcome to the North Pole airport"
•Luke literally throwing his head back with laughter in the sidelines
•Mrs Claus not knowing how passports work
•The banter on how passports work
•I love how happy and enthusiastic Tom seems
•"Oh, bribery!" "That's also a crime!"
•The poses for the photo booth
•Poor Snowdrop :(
•"That's Krampus! The most wanted terror!st in the North Pole"
•Tom's out-loud commentary, and Luke just nodding
•"Where's our bowl full of jelly laughs? This is SHIT"
•"Barbados.. Let me check the map *pulls out map* There"
•Snowdrop's smirk when one of the elves says "We're not allowed passports" and then "There's a photo booth"
•"I'll climb up on your shoulders" "Oh really?" "Yeah" "Okay"
•The name's if the characters on the presents in at the start is really cute (damn they really know the fanbase huh)
•"I have an alternative proposal" "I'd probably prefer mine, to be honest 😏"
•"Oh, actually, fuck yeah, that's great"
•"Rudolph motherfuckerrr"
•"The teddy bears are getting married" dude. how can he say something as pure and wholesome as that and NOT expect me to combust
•Forgetting the reindeers names and an audience member helping them out
•"I was expecting a sexy lady with a big beard"
•Javier turning the elves head to look at him
•"Christmas is ruined, there's no laughter for us to eat"
•"Ho ho ho is gleeful laughter"
•Everyone subtly making fun of Mrs Claus saying "I was caught on a cloud"
•"You're his muse. His inspiration" ☹️☹️
•"Hey, let's not blame someone with a disorder, shall we?"
•"Sometimes, the hyper focus is really useful for making toys. One day, I made a thousand game boys. They said to try and make something else, I said "fuck that!""
•Krampus's song
•"Krampus grows more powerful!!"
•"Little Krampus has a gun now!! Ho ho ho.. 😈😈😈"
•The deep "I'm everywhere"
•"No no no no no"
•"Poor little teddy bear Christmas man!"
•"Ahhh.. A Christmas gun..."
•"One present from every child.. goes to Krampus's tum tum!"
•WHY ARE THEY SOME THE MOST GORGEOUS AMAZING PEOPLE EVER TO EXIST EVER??? LIKE THEY ALWAYS LOOK GOOD.
•"I feast on the tears of the children!!"
•"Find the joy... Santa"
•Definitely wasn't hoping for a kiss scene or something...
•"You are nothing little lady girl.. I'm a sex!st as well"
•"Your wife is my wife now"
•"Hehehehehe"
•"Look at my little piss boy"
•When they all start singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" very slowly and eerily
•"What is this song? This wasn't around when I was put beneath the ice"
•Most beautiful men ever ngl
•"AVADA KEDAVRA!!"
(So basically the entire play)
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