#we know we're not disgusting people
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I love singNsong again reminding people in Side Story that Dokja wanted other people to read TWSA (he wrote reviews and comments! It was his first wish), and he only stopped bothering because people harassed him for it. He didn't gate-keep the story. When he's avoiding talking to Sangah about it at the beginning of ORV, it's because he knows what happens when he tells people about the story, not because he's gate-keeping it from her. He notes he's not proud of his hobby (likely because he's been bullied all through his life, including for reading the thing he loves): he finds it embarrassing to talk about, and better respects her studying Spanish in her free time (learning another language is a generally accepted thing in society). He assumes she won't care or will look at him funny (or worse) for when she learns about the novel he's into.
Basically anyone writing "let's gatekeep ORV" posts because of the anime announcement or because they dislike the manhwa or some other weirdness, y'all are the villains in the scenario.
The literal climax of the story is about sharing ORV with as many people as possible. What story were y'all reading?
#orv#really tired of the stupid gate-keepy bs in some parts of this fandom#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#side story spoilers#it's been quite fascinating seeing novel fanatics come out of the woodwork against potential anime fans#while showing how much they hate the manhwa and manhwa fans too#the only actual official English translation we have is the manhwa#acting like we're all in this together like no#I adore the novel and the manhwa#and folks who started with the manhwa or just happen to also like the manhwa but also like the novel see you for what you are#avoiding talking about something is not gatekeeping#it's often recognizing various social cues#like oh this person probably isn't familiar and I don't care to explain#or I'm worried they'll treat me badly if they know#when you're trying to connect with someone you tend to look for things you share not stuff you don't#if Dokja heard about people trying to gatekeep orv he would be disgusted#also NOT gatekeeping orv is literally the climax of the story I am so deeply confused by people encouraging gatekeeping of it#you're making han suyeong mad#she didn't nearly kill herself writing orv in order to share it to everyone they could find so people could gatekeep it#that is literally the opposite of the goal#it's not bad to ask if folks have read the novel because for a variety of reasons folks may not have#but it is bad to act like reading the novel is a fandom requirement especially given all we have is a fantranslation using MTL#or you must love the novel above others or the novel only#I want singnsong to get fucking rich from this story they shared and which I and many adore#gatekeeping does not make that happen#also good luck getting people to buy the Yen Press novel translation when it comes out when you act like this#the manhwa is available in at least seven languages officially fuck off with this gatekeeping crap#don't get me started how a lot of y'all don't even know what twatf is and a good chunk of y'all who won't even touch it when you do know#and that doesn't exactly bother me but it does bug me when book purists get all high and mighty
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I can sit in my mess and feel cozy. The exterior just reflects the madness within ect. It feels correct.
But, if there's a possibility of someone coming? Someone seeing me sit in a mess? Well. Then cleaning up becomes the matter of life and death.
#we can't let people know we don't put things away#toxic shame#mess issues#abuse aftermath#feeling shame for being messy#being scared of getting yelled at#being scared of judgment and disgust#because we're only human and need to rest
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My Tumblr followers. If and when you see this. Just don't look at twitter man
This year is cooked
Sorry for the vent but omg this year man THIS YEAR UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (read tags for context)
#2024 is done#worst year of my life#shitpost#kagevt#Hes coming back after his dramatic af graduation because he's a shit person because 3 months suddenly makes you a better person. Rent due?#People are beefing over whether fat nuggets or waddles is the better pig and saying hazbin copied gravity falls#Bc if we're talking cartoon pigs then 2007 spider pig Simpsons did it way before gravity fall so bad argument their#gravity falls#The dream smp members are being haunted by the ghost of their admins infection rate#Which is to say every dsmp member is gonna take a huge L this year and it's Eret's and Niki's turn currently#eret#niki niachu#AND ALL THE GOOD ANIMES IS ENDING SO I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE A DISTRACTION#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MR BEAST OML#vent post#vent#Eret and Ava Tyson were dating??? And Eret doesn't believe that she'd be “capable” of some of the bad thing she did WHEN ITS ALL PUBLIC INFO#mr beast#He sending out more lawsuits then batman has dollar bills#People are pressuring other people to join Mcc rising even though the team comp is literally too toxic got them#mcyt#Like if they don't want to play then don't make them play simple as. But NOOOOOOOOOO we gotta send disgusting shit and for what??#Have some dignity#I swear if another thing happens this year I'm throwing the YouTube and Twitter files into a nuclear bomb aimed at my brain bc I can't#And all that's on my mind is that if Technoblade could have seen the shit people are doing he'd be disappointed#I feel bad knowing he passed away without knowing the truth but I hope he's happy with what he did have#And my mental health is tanking#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#chat i'm cooked
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*Trigger warning for eating disorder talk*
I hate how whenever I eat anything my brain is like "You should kill yourself. Now." Like what's your fucking problem
#tw ed#it's like bitch the body needs nutrients to function. idiot. that's how flesh vessels work. what are you an alien?#but my brain is always like 'booo you are a disgusting ugly bitch and as a punishment you can't eat at all tomorrow.'#like...ok then. i guess.#the funny thing is that it's also like two people fighting because like i hate what i see in the mirror from both sides#like one part of me is like 'ahhh we are far too skeletal it looks kinda creepy and Not Good'#and the other is like 'wow ew we're so disgusting and big and our bones aren't visible enough. what would our family say?'#so there's like no winning at all because if i don't eat one side will get mad and refuse to look in the mirror#and if i do eat the other side will go into total hysterics and I'll have to sleep completely covered up and will have to avoid#all mirrors because it will completely distort our perception of ourselves and will claim changes that aren't there and it will#force me not to eat for a day or two and probably also to walk everywhere#it also sucks because i think not eating enough might be contributing to me feeling so shallow and fatigued and disinterested in everything#but i have no idea because I don't know how many calories I'm actually getting#and it's really Bad™ for me to count because I'm a little bit too competitive and my brain has historically always made it#a challenge to eat as few calories as possible. because I'm insane and treat literally everything as a competition that i have to win
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I honestly think we've reached absolute Pit Social Media when the images of deceased infants get meme-ed around because "lololol IT looks so stupid IT looks so fake IT is obviously a doll haha let's have some fun here hahaha". And they know dead bodies only from how they're made to look in movies OR maybe open-casket funerals where a mortician worked their ass off for the family to have a pretty corpse to say their goodbyes to.
I. Honestly.
I can't even wrap my mind around how devoid of humanity some people are. All of this has really opened my eyes about the people around me.
Tell them - and they don't even know what death looks like - that a real human person in distress is "actually an actor/a prop/a doll" and they're meme-ing the shit out of anh atrocity.
That's how corpses become internet fun memes. A big party for everyone. Because we're upholding CiViLiSaTiOn here and sHoWiNg ThEm TeRroRiStS.
As a kid, I was stupid enough to ask myself, how could anyone stand by when the Holocaust happen.
Now I know the people around us wouldn't only stand by, they would cheerfully join in AND make socmed memes about it. Because "hahaha those aren't real people, it's all a big movie stage - and if they were real, they'd DESERVE it".
I can't go back to seeing people like I did before.
#yes the current meme baby 100% looks like how malnourished baby corpses can look like#and now we're parading baby corpse pictures around on our socmed to meme about how 'hahaha plastic and stupid' they look#people would have taken fucking selfies at the auschwitz fence#it would have been a meme challenge#baby corpses as funny memes because not pretty and 'realistic' enough#i hope you all get mauled by rabid animals#there is a limit#yes dead people look like this.#and no their eyes aren't magically closed either and sometimes very persistently stay open#but sure have fun meme a little jerk off a little we get it you enjoy this#this is how genocides happen and have always happened#people are ready to go about their daily lives then laugh about dead children of people they consider subhuman then go back to their day job#with ukraine it was already beyond disgusting how people were like 'not our problem let them fend for themselves'#but with Palestinians it's just endless memeing and partying#a Palestinian friend said to me 'the whole world has made us out to be demons'#i don't know whether there is hope for our species when people meme about dead infants#I'm just done#palestine genocide#harm to children cw#child death cw#racist violence cw
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Am I the only one that feels icky about 4halo marriage? Both of them aren’t in their right mind and have both have said before they don’t want a relationship with the other.
Them being married even accidentally would be against what either of them want. I just don’t like to imagine them being in that kind of situation, a fake loveless marriage…
oh yeah you're free to be squicked out by it! I, however, love that dark shit, and will be gleefully and shamelessly enjoying it.
Heads up, btw- please don't send asks like this to anyone else who's enjoying the current arc. I don't know what your intentions were, but this comes across as very judgemental for what is, ultimately, a difference in what we enjoy. you find 4halo fucked up marriage squicky, i find it fun- that's cool. But there's two points to address here. The weaker point, first: canon basis of the ship doesn't matter. 4halo canonically has like. a Thing for each other (bad has said he wants to live with 4ever and skeppy, forever Literally Proposed while high off his ass on happy drugs). but i think codehalo is super fun too and that's NEVERRR going to canonically happen and would be even more fucked up than the current 4halo arc. it's fandom and we do what we want here because these are characters who are not real. and, because they're not real, what they want is Made Up by their creators. by playing in any fandom space you Make Up things about any character you touch, and if I want to Make Up facts about them sharing a bed and putting poison in each other's coffee, that's no worse than cellbit Making Up facts about his character literally eating people. second, MORE IMPORTANTLY so i will say it again: don't shame people for what they enjoy, dude. i hope you're having fun with whatever dynamics you do enjoy, and i wouldn't judge you for whatever they are, even if they're not my cup of tea. I'm really fucking disturbed and disappointed that you'd bring that puritanical bullshit to my inbox. you're not protecting these characters; you're using shaming language to make me, a real person, upset. that's not cool. legit questions i want you to consider for Personal Growth- what is the reason that you sent me this? is it a default disgust response? how do you identify the difference between a squick and something legitimately harmful? are you letting your emotions get in the way of being kind?
#Anonymous#qsmp#<- sorry guys maintagging because I'm very legitimately disturbed by all the disgusted-purity takes about this 4halo thing#why can we enjoy cannibalism? why can we enjoy a story with child death? why can we cheer when things get blown up?#why can we root for our favourite characters to be kidnapped and tortured?#why is all of THAT okay but the 4halo fucked up marriage arc isn't?#trick question it is all okay because this is a story#and some people will enjoy some parts of a story more than you will#and some people will enjoy some parts less than you will#and That's Normal#a plotline like this would make most fans i know in other fandoms ship the characters MORE like i am truly disturbed by how Not Normal some#people are acting about this#block people filter tags but above ALL else be KIND#we're all fans of the same little guys#shape answers
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It's not revolutionary or deep to have a gay/lesbian couple not kiss lmao. A relationship is not deeper just because they never touch each other. That's like saying it's more filling to stare at a nicely cooked meal and sing its praises than to ever actually eat it.
"They don't need to kiss to prove that they're in love" is such a wack sentiment because it's actually an extremely cold thing to never kiss your partner? Like, irl if you never touched your partner then that would be a red flag for the relationship. Relationships have literally ended from lack sex because most people cannot exist in relationships where their partner doesn't touch them.
Also, it's wild how it seems like gay people only ever get this sentiment? Right now I'm thinking about the show Good Omens and how the two main men never kiss despite their relationship obviously being played as romantic, but the haphazardly thrown together straight couple that exists in the show has sex despite not even getting a quarter of the development.
Of all the shows that give their gay characters this treatment, I want you to see if ANY of them apply the same logic to their straight couples? Or do their straight couple somehow get to kiss and make love and clearly define their relationship without it taking away from the depth of said relationship? Isn't it so homophobic funny how that works
#Is it because it's no longer politically correct#To say you find gay men and lesbians in love to be disgusting#So you have to play it off like you think it oh so profound to have them be frigid#So that way the homophobic people who watch your show can call others crazy to see two men/women as a couple#I know I've said this before#But it's just so upsetting#The way people hate us and find us disgusting#But try to play it like WE'RE the crazy ones when we question why they're not comfortable seeing us kiss
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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#lately i've been going to twitter to get some lunter action bc most fanartists are there#and god it's just so annoying that over there they're stuck in a 5 day cycle of the same discourse over and over again#is it okay to ship this or is this a dirty nasty morally questionable proship? uwu#then the realization is 'yes lunter actually isn't a disgusting perverted proship which makes it okay to exists even if i HATE it'#and then two days later someone is like um akshually it's disgusting because incest and here we fucking go again#god. we need to extirp anyone under 16 years old from the internet. you have not developed enough brain matter to be on social media#(now if you're an adult unironically arguing in that discourse you either have a lot of free time or i just need to block you)#but man. like i wanna say to those lunter defenders..... can't you see what's wrong?#can't you see that the moment you've chosen to accept the premise of there being 'good' and 'reproachable' ships you've already lost?#that someone will always be able to pick a 'problematic' aspect in any ship ever?#that entertaining that idea from the beginning is the absolute worst thing you could do?#like i prefer when people call lunter boring. okay yeah i do Not see what you're seeing but also#thank fucking GOD we're bringing up actually relevant stuff here#like part of me is so fascinated about this. how murder seems to be the only thing that's accepted in media as a narrative tool#(and at some extent even that is too much)#but this yet again goes back to..... well what the fuck do you interact with fiction and media in the first place#when you're COMPLETELY unwilling to acknowledge any of these things as FICTION (not real) in the first place?#where your favorite character is the most morally correct and your favorite ship is the 'healthiest'?#i just wish we were able to talk about who the characters are and what their dynamic means in the show you know#instead of recycling the same reasons why it's morally 'okay' to be interested in them over and over and over and over and over and over and
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The way my father and aunt are both religious but in a total opposite way is insane
#its very easy to not know or to forget my father is catholic#you cannot not see how catholic my aunt is#there are crosses everywhere in her house its insane#not in a bad way im just amazed two people raised by the same parents and who dont have a big age gap have so different view on religiob#*religion#also my dad believes in evolution while last year i had to be confronted facetoface with my aunt with the fact she doesnt believe we and#chimpanzees are cousin species#bc you know. adam and eve god created us perfectly theres no way we're cousins with monkeys and all#it had been.. surprising and totally unexpected#also my own cousin has voiced the fact she finds interracial couples and gay couples disgusting and not normal so yay /sarc#how can my dad and aunt think so differently. what the actual f#my dad isnt the best but hes decent and is a great & kind man above all. my aunt is nice too but wtf is going on with my cousin#going back on the first topic: my dad rarely goes to church meanwhile my aunt goes every week and learnt to play organ she's very active in#church life - again just stating how my dad and aunt are different. not judging it just surprises me
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#this isn't at all surprising but it IS disgusting and enraging#'you're costing us too much money. we're going to lie and say that your doctor signed off on reducing your dosage.'#among many other things#anyway this is all extremely par for the course for people who've faced these kinds of issues or who've listened to others who have#but. even so.#if you want to be furious read this ig!#at the time of writing his costs HAVE at least been covered but like. it took a lawsuit.#the only thing that really surprised me here was the extent to which company employees said really damning shit on the record#but like. they know how much power they have and how little power patients typically have.#anyway health insurance is frankly disgusting. i was lucky enough we never had to worry abt it when i was a kid#and now that i'm grown up and don't have any and hear stories like this… how the fuck did we get here.#healthcare shouldn't be a for-profit business.#the medical establishment
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being too terminally online on this website has a lot of downsides, but what isn’t one is when you see a joke being pretty funny, and then, at some point, either hours or years later, you see a joke about this joke, and then closely afterward another one, and then it takes like one hour for this joke to suddenly become Tumblr Big Meme, and because you were online the entire time you saw how it went from normal joke to website-wide joke and it’s hysterical. I love it here.
#on twitter the only thing i can find this way is drama it's exhausting#in here? vanilla extract. What's not to like.#vanilla extract took a few hours to take off#but i remember the children hospital and goncharov from when the posts first circulated#and then it's always like. You see someone add to the joke years later#and it's funny for a bit.#but this one joke unlocked everyone to decide to joke about it and next you know this is the only thing on your dash#it's so wild but man#ichatalks#polls are making us speedrun through some new inside jokes and i can't say im mad#TO BE FAIR THOUGH#there has been many jokes about vanilla extract before#i can think of multiple popular posts talking about vanilla extract#like one talking about how it's disgusting on its own but delicious in small dose#and how it reflects how we're better as a group#it's been years this website had conversation with vanilla extract#no wonder when people started to joke about it#it awoke our 'omg yes vanilla extract i know the posts' braincell#and now it's all we joke about#like man.
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I was watching Alhaitham's demo again to try to decipher left or right-handedness and actually bothered to listen to his spiel this time and it's actually like annoying how much I truly get what he says. Like I've literally given the exact same advice before, albeit in slightly different words. :')
To get anything done, to solve problems, to troubleshoot, etc--the best way to go about it is to find the root, aka the weakest link. Oftentimes, the best answer for a huge problem is the simplest. Once you tackle that, everything falls into place. This is super "I'm so special uwuuwuwuw" to say but I do get the struggle of seeing the solution when no one else does (or wants to acknowledge it). The most frustrating part about all of this is that I actually habitually tell people that I am, at my core, an extremely lazy person. Everything I do I do to make it easier for me and essentially quicker in the long run.
Absolutely disgusting we have things in common.
#analysis#tfw se/ni tbqh#added to that we both refuse to stay longer at work#once our time is up we'll both leave regardless of how much others are struggling#we don't do our job because we necessarily like it but because it supports the kind of lifestyle we want to live#we share the same functions and we're both so-blind so it only makes sense we have things in common but it's still#disgusting#we're alike in function and habits but not in personality#unlike him i am a very charming individual ;)#people actually like me :3c#still funny ppl think he's an intj bc he reeks of ti#he also has no tert-fi and anyone that has experience with tert-fi KNOWS what it looks like#*eyes kujou sara*#except intj tert-fi is even more fiery and explosive lol#okay i'll shut up about typology now haha#wait omg i think we have the same ennea too :')))))))))))))))))#absolutely disgusting gross gross gross
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i have a headache but also i dont want to go to sleep just yet dkjnfjds i want me-time
(warning: as i was writing the tags of this post this turned into another kinda-heavy rant about the situation my group of friends and i are. so keep that in mind)
#things were weird today when She(tm) was there but when she left things were normal again#but these hours were kinda stressful rip or more like... there was an inherent discomfort and tension in the air#with some ugly commentaries and actions on her part. like its your (supposed) best friend's birthday at least try to hide your disgust 👍#birthday you ~apparently~ forgot until it the day before. also you didnt had a single penny to spend on the gift for him#but you sure as hell had it to go eat with your college friends to expensive places! girl at least dont post about it on insta#and just in case; this wasnt a '*goes to expensive places before* -oh i dont have money sowwy :(('#this was a '-oh i dont have money sowwy :(( *goes to expensive places after it*'#what we were asking for collaboration was way less than what she spent on those places. it was AT THE VERY LEAST 3000 ars per food#and you know what she wanted to give for the gift? 500 ars!!! you cant buy shit with it; let alone if we only collaborated with 500 each#like she wanted. we're 4; genuine question what kinda shit can you buy for $2000. maybe a good quality cup but we already gave him that#but even then the point is not the money; the thing is the attitude. you cant spend more than $500 on us#but you can spend at least $6000 on your other friends; given you went to eat with them two days in a row. priorities i guess?#OH! and talking about it!! can you fucking believe she INVESTIGATED the phone of our ~new~ friend (the one shes jealous of)#and DEADASS said 'oh i see. my mom has an A51'. our friend has an A20 if im not wrong; which might not be an A51 but its. still expensive??#also your mom has an A51 but you have an iPhone 5 since you were on high school. but hey; apple i am right?? inherently better than an A20#sorry i have less than that; i have an A10s (that i got on the start of 2020). can i still breathe the same air as you and your mom /s#once again the problem is not the money or the phone or WHATEVER. its the fucking attitude shes having. you want to pretend you have money#and act like youre superior to people who 'dont'; when in reality YOU ARE MIDDLE CLASS. YOU ARENT UPPER CLASS; NOT EVEN UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS#YOURE MIDDLE CLASS. MIDDLE CLASS LIKE THE REST OF US; NOT LIKE YOUR COLLEGE FRIENDS YOU LOVE SO MUCH AND WANT TO IMPRESS#YOU SPEND MONEY YOU DEFINITELY DONT HAVE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO APPEAR UPPER-MIDDLE AT THE VERY LEAST. but thats a lie#a lie that if these beloved friends bothered to ACTUALLY know even the slightest about you; like we do; would fall apart. but they wouldnt!#because they dont care about you as much as we care(d). do you think they will tolerate this fucking attitude youre having towards us?#no they wouldnt. trust me; they WOULDNT. they will tell you to fuck off and leave you completely alone. go cry a river.#god fucking dammit why are you like this. WHY you turned like this. or rather; why we were SO GODDAMN blind we didnt noticed this before#negative
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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