#we heal through forming familial bonds!

[cinnamonsikwate]

wakanda forever au where k'uk'ulkan, riri, shuri, ramonda, namora, and attuma become the world's weirdest and most powerful found family. m'baku, okoye, nakia, & t'challa jr. visit on the weekends. ayo and aneka send holiday gift baskets.

[serpentandlily]

Now That We Don't Talk

Part I

Now That We Don’t Talk - Azriel x Reader

Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of your mate’s betrayal.

Warnings: major angst, mentions of grief and loss, mention of infidelity 

a/n: this has a happy ending, I promise! I’d also like to mention that I never usually blame the woman when a man cheats, but in this case, both parties knew of the existing relationship and bond so *death to all of them* lol jk…for now…I hope this lives up to your expectations!

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“That’s it, Y/n,” Madja said, taking a step backwards as she carefully monitored you between two support beams. “Go slow.”

Your shoulders and arms were straining as you held yourself up using the two beams, slowly raising your foot to take another step forward. You groaned at the pain, feeling flustered and embarrassed that walking was taking you so much effort. 

Cassian and Nesta had turned one of the larger chambers in the House of Wind into a physical remedial room. You had sessions in here every day with Madja, Cassian almost always there with you and in times he couldn’t be, Rhys would fly up to be with you during these. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell your brother that you preferred when Rhys was here instead of him, only because he always magicked his wings away so you didn’t have to see them. Cassian’s were just a reminder of what you had lost. 

Relearning to walk has been one of the hardest parts of losing your wings.

Even now it was a struggle to simply stand. You were too used to the weight of having wings on your back and using them to balance. You felt their absence in more ways than one.

But this one was easier to deal with—the physical part. It was the mental and emotional part that still kept you up at night. The loss of freedom, having to know you’d never be able to fly again. The nightmares. The embarrassment. The shame. 

You had never been a particularly proud Illyrian, never agreeing with the way your people were raised and the culture they lived in. But still, having those wings made you a part of something bigger than yourself—a community, a tribe, a family. 

You weren’t like Rhys, not a half-breed like him. You didn’t have the pointy ears to make you fit in with the wingless High Fae. You’d always be other to them. And now you’d be other to your people as well. 

You tried to blink away the tears forming in your eyes but it didn’t matter. Your brother seemed to sense the change in your mood and rose from his chair in the corner where he had been monitoring the session.

“You’re doing great, kiddo,” Cassian said, trying to encourage you to keep trying. “One step at a time.”

“I can’t,” you choked out, your muscles straining from the effort to keep you upright. “I-I can’t.”

“You can and you will,” Cassian said, sternly. “Come on, I know you can do it.” 

“I can’t.”

You wobbled, letting out a long exhale. You had only made it halfway to the other side of the mat. Pain pierced through your still healing back, serving as another reminder of what you had lost. Your fractured hip had healed already but the bones still felt like they were being grinded together every time you moved your legs. 

“Thank you for your help today, Madja,” Cassian said, sharing a look with the older healer. “I can take it from here.”

Madja, as if also sensing the shift in the atmosphere, took her leave without argument to give you some privacy with your brother. 

“Just make sure she eats something after this. Her body needs more nourishment,” Madja said on her way out. The noise of the door shutting behind her was all it took for the hold on your emotions to completely crumble. 

You felt your legs give out as a cry escape from your throat. Cassian darted forward, catching you only just before you hit the ground. He slowly lowered you the rest of the way, going with you to hold you in a tight embrace as sobs racked your body. 

“I-I can’t do this, Cass,” you cried over and over again. “I can’t do this.”

He knew you weren’t just talking about walking.

Every intake of breath reminded you of the heavy weight of your heart in your chest. It was unbearable, all consuming. The heartache, the pain, the feeling of the mating bond still lingering in the background of it all. You wanted to rip your heart out, wanted to scream and scream but all that came out were inaudible words and sobs. 

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” Cassian murmured, petting your hair on the back of your head. “I promise you.” 

“My wings, Cass, m-my wings are gone,” you choked out, tears streaming down your face.

Cassian cradled your head in his neck, pulling you tighter against him. His own body was tense and you knew he was holding back his own emotions, trying to be strong for you. “I know, kiddo, I know.” 

“M-my wings,” you cried. “My wings. I-I want them back, Cass. P-please, I want them back!”

“I would cut off my own wings and give them to you if I could, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, his voice filled with despair. “I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t understand this feeling, would never unless he too lost his wings. You remembered when he almost had after protecting Azriel in Hybern from the blast of the Cauldron. Azriel…Just thinking of his name was making you spiral further, choking on your own sobs. 

There had once been a time when Azriel had been the one to save your wings. And now he was part of the reason why you lost them. You weren’t even sure which hurt more at this point. His betrayal or the loss of your wings. 

Both felt so violating. 

A piece of you, of your body, ripped away along with your trust and heart. Your mate sleeping with another female and coming home to you. Looking you in the eyes and keeping that secret from you each and every day. Making love to you knowing he was sharing himself with another behind your back. How were you supposed to move on? 

It didn’t help that you weren’t fully rid of Azriel. The bond was still an unwelcomed presence inside of you, still sang his name–called for him–despite the hurt he had caused you. You wanted to tear it to shreds. 

“Why?” You cried, wrapping your arms around Cassian’s neck to fall into him further. Your brother held you as tight as he could, stroking your hair, whispering words of support in your ear. “Why wasn’t I g-good enough, Cass? W-why wasn’t I enough for him? What is wrong with m-me?”

The guttural wails that came from you caused Cassian to squeeze his eyes shut, trying to keep his own tears at bay. Your chest heaved as you struggled to even breath under the crushing anguish that was consuming you. He held you as you shook, held you as your tears soaked through his shirt, held you as he restrained himself from shooting off to go find Azriel and kill him. 

“There is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. Nothing,” Cassian growled. “Azriel is a fool for losing you. He’s the fuck-up. Not you.”

“He is my mate, Cass, my mate. And he–he did this to me. Why?”

“Because he’s a miserable bastard who doesn’t know how to love,” Cassian growled. 

You couldn’t even register his words over the pounding of your own wailing heart. “What did I do to deserve this?”

You felt so violated, so vulnerable, so completely and utterly shattered. The pain of your broken heart seemed to echo in the depths of your very soul. Why hadn’t you been enough for him?

Was Elain just that much better? Was she prettier, smarter, a better female? Could she give him something you couldn’t?

“You didn’t deserve this. You did nothing wrong,” Cassian murmured into your hair, kissing the top of your head. “You are so much better than them, sweetheart.” 

“B-but then why wasn’t I enough?” Your cries met their crescendo, your hands shaking as you clung onto Cassian’s shirt with tight fists. “Why wasn’t I enough, Cass? Why?” 

Your voice was hoarse, your words cracking as you spoke. But there was nothing left to say. 

Nothing left to say at all. 

You weren’t good enough for Azriel, for your own mate. You weren’t good enough to keep his attention. Not good enough to keep his love. 

You were just simply not enough. 

Cassian held you there as you cried and cried, held you as the weight of everything you lost engulfed you. Held you through the raw grief that surged like a tempest within you. Held you until you had cried yourself into a fitful sleep, only then rising to carry you back to your room. 

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As soon as Mor had gotten word about what had happened, she immediately started her journey home from the continent. She had gone to you the minute she landed in Velaris, but Cassian had turned her away because he didn’t want to interrupt your sleep, something you hadn’t gotten much of since the attack.

But that was okay because she had a few things she needed to take care of. 

“Where is she!”

Mor’s shout rang through the entire house, the ground quaking underneath her as she stormed into the dining room where a very morose dinner seemed to be taking place with Rhys, Feyre, Elain and Amren at the table. Rhys shot up from his seat. “Y/n is at the House of Wind with—”

“Not her,” Mor snarled before pointing a finger at Elain, who stared at her wide-eyed. “You.” 

Before anyone could stop her, Mor launched herself forward, grabbing Elain by the hair on the back of her head and slamming her face down on the wooden table she was sitting at. Rhys cursed while Feyre jumped up from her seat, thanking the Gods that Nesta wasn’t here for this. 

Rhys grabbed Feyre by the arm, shaking his head at her. “Some things need to be fought the fae way. Let her learn.” 

Amren leaned back in her chair, not so much as flinching at the display. 

Mor kept her fist wrapped in Elain’s hair, pressing her face against the hardwood as the other girl cried out, blood dripping down her nose.

“That was for Y/n because she’s up there learning how to fucking walk again because of you,” Mor hissed before yanking Elain up by her hair until she was standing. 

Elain cried out for Feyre but her sister just pressed her lips into a thin line, Rhys’s hand still around her arm. Feyre was disappointed in her sister for what she had done but she still bristled as Rhys’s amusement at the scene traveled down their bond.

Mor decked Elain in the face, the sound audible, causing Feyre to flinch. Elain’s head whipped to the side as she dropped to the floor with a loud sob. “And that was for Cassian because he would never lay his hands on a weak, pathetic female but I will. Remember that.” 

Elain’s cries rung out in the room, blood dripping from her now broken nose and a bruise already forming on her cheek. Mor ignored her as she looked to Rhysand.

“Where is the other one?” Her voice was full of anger. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” 

“I don’t know,” Rhys sighed, finally letting go of Feyre. She rushed to Elain’s side, helping her off the floor and out of the room, giving Mor a remorseful look, feeling guilty over what her sister had caused. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“He disappeared once Y/n woke up and made it very clear she didn’t wish to see him. I have no idea where he went.”

“That fucking coward,” Mor grumbled. “Why is Elain still here? This is Y/n’s home, not hers. She shouldn’t have to be the one who leaves and you know she will if those two are still around. Cassian would leave with her too—I’m sure of it.”

“I know he would,” Rhys said, sitting back down and putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Mor. If Elain wasn’t Feyre’s sister I would’ve had her banished in a second and Azriel…Gods, he’s my brother. I can’t believe he would do something like this. He loves Y/n. I don’t know why he would hurt her like this.” 

“Azriel has always been his worst enemy,” Mor sighed, sitting next to Rhys. “We’ve all tried to help him as much as we could but this just isn’t something we can help him with. Y/n is going to need our support. This could destroy her.” 

“It already has,” Rhys replied. “She might leave our court regardless of whether or not we send Azriel and Elain away. I wouldn’t blame her. I’ve already let her know that if she wants out, I’ll have everything set-up for her.” 

“What of the girl’s mate? The redhead,” Amren piped up, crossing her arms. “Does he know yet? You know how males are. He might call for a blood duel against Azriel.” 

“Lucien has already been informed about what happened,” Rhys spoke. “Cassian has been on a warpath and was all too eager to tell Lucien. I think part of him hoped he would duel Azriel. But Lucien wouldn’t.” 

“So what happens now?” Mor asked. 

Rhys looked at her and she took note of the heavy bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. Neither had she. She was certain none of them had. Azriel had caused a giant rift in this family—one felt by them all. 

Rhys held back his tears, clearing his throat.

“I know what was to be done,” he breathed out. “But it’s going to be hard. He was…He was my brother for over five hundred years. Regardless of what he’s done, it’s going to be hard to say goodbye.” 

Mor rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know, Rhys. Nothing about this is going to be easy.”

“He cannot be trusted anymore,” Amren added. “Anyone who could cheat on their mate cannot be trusted. He might as well have spit on the Mother’s face for what he did.”

“I just want to know why. Why would he do this?” 

Mor let out a long breath. “I’m not sure you’ll ever get an answer. I think Azriel, himself, can’t even answer that question.” 

“I failed her, Mor. I knew how dangerous that mission was. I should’ve never given it to her,” the quiet cry shook Rhys’s body. 

“Azriel was supposed to be with her, Rhys,” Mor said. “It’s not your fault. He failed her. This was his doing.” 

But Rhys just shook his head, the tears finally slipping free from both of their eyes. 

“Get it out now, Mor, before you see her,” Rhys choked out. “It’s…hard to see her in the state she’s in. Prepare yourself. We have to be strong for her.” 

“I know,” Mor whispered, wiping at her tears. “I know.” 

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“Hey, kiddo,” Cassian’s voice pulled you from your sleep.

You blinked awake, groaning at the pounding in your head. It took you a second to realize you were in your room. Cassian must’ve carried you here after your breakdown yesterday. 

Cassian was sitting beside you, stroking your hair. “I brought you some breakfast and someone is here to see you.”

It was only then you noticed the other person sitting at the end of your bed. 

“Mor?” Your voice was hoarse, the word barely escaping. “You’re here?”

“I came back as soon as I heard,” Mor said, leaning forward to clutch your hand in hers. “How are you doing, babygirl?” 

Mor had always felt like an older sister to you. Her friendship with your brother had made the two of you close. 

“I’m…I’m not doing good,” you replied, honestly. “I can’t…I don’t know what to do, Mor. I don’t know how to move on from here. Part of me wishes I died in that alleyway. I wish I died the minute my wings were cut off.” 

“I know,” she said, sadly. “I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. It’s going to be hard, but we’re going to be with you every step of the way.” 

“Come on, why don’t you sit up so you can eat,” Cassian murmured, putting a hand on your back to help you up. 

“I’m not hungry,” you protested.

“You have to eat something, sweetheart,” Cass said gently. “Madja’s orders.”

But you shook your head. You didn’t have an appetite. Everything still hurt so much. 

“Just give her a second, Cass,” Mor murmured. 

Cassian frowned but nodded. He brushed some of your hair away from your face again and the soothing motion started another round of tears. 

“Hey, hey,” Cassian whispered. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Cass! How will I ever be able to show my face again?” you cried. “I will be shamed, spit on, shunned because I lost my wings—because I couldn’t fight for them. I can never return to Illyria. I won’t be able to help train with the girls anymore.” 

“Emerie told me the girls are already awaiting your return. They miss you,” Mor reassured. “Who cares about what the stupid males are going to think? Most of those females have had their freedom of flight taken from them. They would never shun you for what happened.” 

Your eyes fell on the many bouquets of flowers and get well cards on your nightstand. Cassian had been bringing them to you. Your heart ached at the sight. 

“But I failed them, Mor,” you sobbed. “I failed them. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be a warrior and all it took was one male to completely destroy me. I’m worthless to them now. How can I teach them to fight for themselves if I cannot even do that?” 

“You are not worthless,” Cassian said, sternly. “You are more of a fighter than half of those Illyrian males. You continue to fight each day knowing you have to live with the loss of your wings. Most of the males would’ve given up already, sweetheart. You are stronger than you think.” 

“I-I’m not. I’m weak and a failure,” you cried. “I couldn’t protect my wings. Couldn’t keep my mate’s love. Couldn’t…couldn’t–”

Your sobs overtook your words, your entire body shaking. 

“Listen to me, Y/n.” Mor demanded. “You are not weak. You are not a failure. You are a million times better than the two assholes who hurt you. You will survive this. You will survive him. I promise you, Y/n, I promise you.” 

She embraced you, holding you as you broke down into gut-wrenching sobs once again. 

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The air was tense to say the least. Rhys was standing behind his desk, palms pressed flat against the surface as he stared at the two people sitting in front of him. Feyre stood next to him as both a pillar of support and the High Lady. 

Azriel’s eyes were downcast. He hadn’t even looked at Elain since he had been dragged into this office by Mor—a new black eye and a bruised jaw decorating his face. Elain stared and stared at him, her eyes pleading with him to look at her but he ignored her presence. 

Azriel looked rough. He hadn’t shaved, his eyes were bloodshot, but the most surprising thing was his lack of shadows swarming him. 

“Where are you shadows?” Rhys asked. “I swear, Azriel, if you sent them after Y/n, I will bring Cassian down here to do with you as he pleases.” 

Azriel looked up, shaking his head. “They won’t sing to me anymore. Not since…Not since the accident.” 

It was true. His shadows had hissed at him, recoiled in his presence before they dissipated as if they too had felt his betrayal. They had wailed in agony at the loss of Y/n. They had always skittered away in Elain’s presence, probably the only reason they never yelled at him when he was with her…but it seems this time, they had left for good. 

Despite his curiosity, Rhys decided to drop the subject. This was not the time or place for that discussion. 

“Feyre and I have come to a decision about what must happen due to the results of your actions,” Rhys said, his voice full of authority and resignation. 

“What? But we’ve done nothing wrong!” Elain exclaimed. “I know we shouldn’t have gone behind Y/n’s back but we’re in love!”

“I don’t care,” Rhys snarled, baring his teeth. “I don’t care how much you two claim to be in love! Azriel has caused irreparable damage to his own mate—a member of my court, of my family. And you were complicit in that.” 

“Are we not your family too? Feyre is my sister!”

“And Y/n is mine,” Rhys retorted. “And Cassian’s.”

Elain crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “So we’re being punished for falling in love? It’s not our fault the Cauldron decided to make someone else our mates. It was never our choice.” 

“You’re not being punished for falling in love, if that’s even what we can call this,” Feyre spat out, staring at her sister with disappointment. “You’re being punished for how you handled a sensitive situation. You’re being punished for lying to our whole family and for causing it to be torn apart.”

“You’re not being punished at all,” Rhys snapped. “If you were, both of you would be in a cell in Hewn City and I’d let Cassian decide what your punishment would be considering Y/n would never have the heart to hurt either of you. This is simply the consequence of your own stupid actions.” 

Azriel’s head shot up at the mention of your name. “How is Y/n? Is she doing okay?” 

Feyre went to answer but Rhys shook his head at her. 

“You don’t get the privilege of knowing anything about her at this point, Azriel,” he huffed. 

Azriel stood from his chair in anger. “She is my mate, Rhys.”

“Sit down,” Rhys commanded, his voice rising for the first time since the meeting started. “Funny how now you acknowledge her as a mate but not when you had your tongue down Elain’s throat.” 

“Fuck you, Rhys,” Azriel growled, but sat, unable to fight the power of a High Lord’s order. 

“No fuck you, Azriel! I thought you were my brother! How could you do this to Y/n? To our family? Both of you should be ashamed. You are already getting off easy, don’t make me rethink my choice. Lucien has every right to storm in right now and demand a blood duel against you. And even though it’s not a practice in my court, I’d even let Y/n declare one against Elain.”

Elain’s face paled but Azriel only scoffed in indignation. “As if Feyre would ever let anyone kill one of her sisters.” 

Feyre stepped forward, glaring at the shadowsinger and Elain. “I’m done protecting her. Nesta is done protecting her. We have spent our whole lives taking care of her thinking she was just too soft for this world—too naive and innocent. But I think we’re finally seeing the real you, Elain. And it is time for you to face the consequences of your own actions, make your own way in life.” 

“So what are you going to do? Are you going to force me to live in the House of Wind like you did Nesta?”

“No,” Feyre said, stone faced before looking at Rhys. They had decided together how they would handle this situation.

“You are both hereby banished from the Night Court,” Rhys declared. “I will not tolerate Y/n having to lose her own home after she just lost her wings and we are going to do what's best for her. Lucien has made it clear that you both will not be welcomed in Day either and Helion is standing by his son’s decision. Beyond that, we cannot help you. You will pack your things and leave immediately. If you step one foot in this court after you leave, I will be notified and you will face worse repercussions.” 

“What?” Elain exclaimed. “Feyre, you can’t be serious! Look, I’ll move out of the Riverhouse. We can live in Azriel’s apartment and avoid Y/n.”

“That apartment belongs to Y/n too, you know,” Feyre snapped. “We have already made our decision. We will not be negotiating any terms.” 

“Rhys, come on,” Azriel said. “I will leave but you don’t need to banish Elain too. She did nothing wrong.”

“Elain knew you were a mated male, knew you were together with Y/n. While I agree that what you have done is worse, she still knew what she was doing wasn’t right.” 

“Where are we supposed to go?” Elain cried. “I don’t have any money. I don’t have anywhere to go, Feyre. You can’t just toss me out like this.” 

“Azriel has money,” Feyre shrugged. “I guess you’re his problem now.” 

“You know none of the other High Lord’s will want me in their courts, Rhys,” Azriel snarled. “Not after the things I’ve done for you.” 

“Should of thought of that before you betrayed our whole family.” 

“I hear the old Manor is still abandoned in the human lands,” Feyre remarked. “Since Vassa had reclaimed her territory with Jurian at her side and Lucien had moved to Day to be with his father.” 

“We can’t survive there,” Elain sobbed. “Humans hate faeries.” 

“Not my problem, Elain,” Feyre said. “You’re not my problem anymore.” 

“Azriel, do something!” Elain cried, looking at the shadowsinger. 

“What do you expect him to do?” Rhys laughed humorlessly. “He no longer has his title, his place in my court. He has no sway here. You both don’t. You will not change our minds.” 

“Nesta won’t allow this!”

“Nesta,” Feyre said, “is packing up your things as we speak.” 

Elain fell back in her chair, crying. 

“I’d say I wish you two the best, but I don’t,” Rhys said. “You have two hours to sort out whatever you have to before I expect you both to be out of my court. Two hours. Do you understand?” 

“Please,” Elain begged. “Please don’t do this, Feyre.”

But Feyre only shook her head at her sister. “There’s no going back for either of you. Say your goodbyes, sort out your affairs, but you will leave in two hours.” 

Rhys took his leave after that, giving Azriel one last look that was full of disgust, guilt, regret, sadness. One last look at his brother before striding out of that room, never to see or speak to him again. 

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Mor had just left when you heard the flapping of wings approaching your balcony. Thinking it was your brother, you pushed yourself to stand and hobbled over to the balcony doors using the walls of your room for support. You opened the door, expecting to see your brother, but your heart stopped when you came face to face with Azriel. 

Your eyes narrowed and you went to slam the door, but he grabbed it before you could. 

“Please, please just hear me out,” he pleaded. “I will leave, I promise, I just…I just—please.” 

“There is nothing you can say that will make me forgive you, Azriel.”

“I know, baby–”

“Don’t you dare call me that!”

Azriel looked down at his feet. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not here to try to earn your forgiveness, Y/n. I know I fucked up beyond repair. I know I failed you, failed us. Words will never be able to convey how much I regret everything.” 

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe as your legs threatened to give out. You were debating screaming out for Cassian. 

Azriel reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone that looked to be enchanted. He held it out towards you. 

“I can’t…I can’t hear the shadows anymore,” he murmured. “But I can’t just leave you without some way to contact me. In case you ever change your mind, in case there is ever a chance that we can be together again. You’ll be able to call for me with this.”

“That is never going to happen.”

“Please, just take it,” Azriel begged. “Even if you don’t want me, please. If you’re ever in danger again and need help, you can use it for that too. Just please, take it.” 

When you said nothing, didn’t so much as open your palm so he could place the stone in it, he knelt down and placed it at your feet instead. You stared at him, emotionless. You didn’t want to give him anything. He didn’t deserve your tears or your sadness. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry for the way things ended,” Azriel said. “You deserve a better mate than me. If I never…If I never get to see you again after this, I promise I will find you in the next life and the one after that. I will do right by you. I will give us another chance.”

He stared at you, pleading with you to say anything. Anything. Even if you screamed at him, beat him, cried—anything was better than this utter silence. But you didn’t. You merely looked at him like he was nothing to you. Like he was a stranger. 

“Goodbye, Azriel,” you said. “I hope you find happiness in your life. Truly.”

And then you slammed the door shut and walked away. 

And he knew then that your words would haunt him for the rest of his life because he knew he had lost the one real thing that had brought him true happiness forever.

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One Year Later ~ Winter Solstice 

“Get up, you lazy cow!”

The sheets were yanked off your sleeping body, exposing you to the cold morning air. You let out a shriek, cursing at your brother and trying to grab the sheets back.

“What the hell, Cassian!”

“It’s Winter Solstice!”

“It’s also six in the morning,” you retorted, falling back down on your bed. 

“Nope, you’re not going back to sleep,” Cassian said. “It’s time to get up!” 

Before you could even respond, Cassian grabbed you by the ankle and yanked you to the end of the bed. You squealed as he tossed you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, pounding on his back as he raced out of the room.

“Cassian! Let me down, you big brute!” 

But he only laughed at you, carrying you all the way to the kitchen where Nesta was sitting at the counter with a steaming cup of tea. She didn’t so much as blink as he dropped you into the chair next to her, already used to her mate’s antics. 

“Goodmorning, Y/n,” Nesta said, pushing an already prepared cup of tea your way.

“Oh, you are an absolute goddess,” you groaned, greedily accepting the mug. You curled your ice cold fingers around it, relishing in the warmth. 

“Hey! What about me?” Cassian yelled, swinging a wash cloth over his shoulder as he started to make breakfast for the two of you. “I’m the one making you guys food!”

“You’re also the one who woke us up, dingbat,” you scoffed, causing Nesta to snort.

It wasn’t long before Cassian was sliding a plate of pancakes your way. “Eat up. You have a long day ahead of you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him but accepted the food, scarfing it down. It was almost hilarious how out of the three of you it was Cassian who cooked the best. 

After breakfast, you retired to your room to get ready to go down to the River House for the real celebrations. Cassian had cryptically told you to wear pants, so you did. You had no idea why until hours later, when you were all lounging in the sitting room after lunch. 

A knock on the front door had you jumping up from your seat. “I’ll get it!” 

No one batted an eye as you raced for the door, pulling it open to see Lucien standing on the doorstep. You let out a noise of excitement, grabbing him in a hug.

“Lucien!” you exclaimed. “You’re here early!” 

A few weeks after the incident, Lucien had sent you a letter asking how you were faring and offering you support. He became a lifeline while you had dealt with the aftermath of saying goodbye to your mate and healing. You both leaned on each other during that time because you were simply the only two who understood the pain of having a mate who fell in love with another. 

“Happy Winter Solstice,” he said as you pulled away and opened the door wider so he could enter. “I’m actually here to retrieve you.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Is everything ready?” 

Your brother’s voice came from behind you and you whipped your head around to stare at him. He was wearing his flying leathers now only confusing you further. 

“Yes,” Lucien nodded. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, suspiciously. 

No one else followed Cassian out. Not even Nesta. You frowned as he shook Lucien’s hand, giving him a friendly whack on the back. 

“You’ll see,” your brother said with a grin. “Lucien is going to winnow us somewhere, kiddo, to your solstice gift.”

You looked between them with narrowed eyes but accepted Lucien’s outstretched hand. His grin was the last thing you saw before you were pulled away in a flurry of wind. A second later, you appeared in the middle of a clearing. 

The tall green grass, the slightly warm breeze, the lack of snow, told you that you were in the Spring Court. You whirled to face your brother who let out a sneeze as soon as he got his bearings. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“So, you know how when Feyre was brought back she was given a drop of power from every High Lord?” Cassian asked. 

You nodded, not understanding where this was going. Your hand slipped into your pocket, around a stone that was always kept there. The one Azriel had left you. You had never used it but for some reason, had never parted with it either. At some point, you had started holding it whenever you felt nervous or fell back into the heartache you had experienced last year. 

“Well, of course she inherited part of Tamlin’s shapeshifting powers. And we thought maybe she could shapeshift others the way he does, but after numerous tries, unfortunately it seems as though the sliver of power she received only allows her to transform herself.” 

“It was not fun being the guinea pig for those test runs,” Lucien laughed. “When Feyre was unable to do it, we had to turn to someone else.” 

“Okay, but what does that have to do with me? Or my solstice gift?” 

Before either of them could respond, a noise came from the shrubbery in the distance. Tamlin’s beast form pounced out from it, striding towards you. You gasped and backed away, right into your brother’s chest. He placed a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “He’s here as a favor to Lucien.”

“And Feyre and Rhys approved this?” you whispered up to him. 

He nodded his assurance.

You let out another gasp as Tamlin shifted back into his fae form. He looked well, better than the last time you had seen him at least. He seemed to have regained some weight and gotten a haircut. You knew he was still in the process of recovering his court. You wondered what sort of strings Lucien had to pull to get him to willingly let you and Cassian come here considering his history with your rulers.

He gave you and Cassian a polite, but bland, greeting which you reciprocated.

“Are any of you going to tell me what’s going on?” 

“Tam is going to help you shapeshift,” Lucien explained. “If you will allow him.”

“Shapeshift? But why would I–”

It clicked in your head, what they were implying, why they had brought you to this large clearing. You whipped around to look up at your brother who seemed to be holding back tears. He gave you a nod, already knowing what you were asking.

“W-wings,” you choked out. “He can give me wings.” 

“It won’t last forever,” Lucien said. “But yes, he can give you wings.”

Tears started slipping down your cheeks and you lurched towards Lucien, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. You…you were going to have wings. You were going to be able to fly!

You didn’t care that it wouldn’t last forever. Just the chance to fly once more was a gift in itself.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his ear. “Thank you.” 

Lucien laughed, hugging you back before you slowly pulled away from him. You looked over your shoulder at your brother. “This was your idea?”

Cassian shook his head. “As much as I wish I could claim this, it was actually Lucien who thought of this first. I’m just here to supervise–and to offer you a flying partner if you’ll have me.” 

You smiled up at Lucien, unbelievably touched at the thoughtfulness. Lucien wiped your tears from your face, gently, before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Are you ready?”

You nodded with enthusiasm.

Lucien gestured at Tamlin to come closer.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said to him with a small bow of the head. 

“I once watched a faerie die after losing his wings,” Tamlin murmured. “Its…Its a horrific crime. One my family has a history with. I’d like this to be my first step towards making amends for their mistakes.” 

You weren’t sure what to say, so you just gave him a grateful nod of the head. He focused intently on you and you felt his magic surround you. It felt nice, like a crisp Spring breeze. And then you felt a familiar weight on your back. You stumbled for a second, readjusting to how it used to feel having wings. But it surprisingly came back to you quite easily.  

You looked at them over your shoulder, stretching them out and flapping them a few times. They looked just like your brother’s and you realized Tamlin must’ve used him as a guide. You grinned, facing Cassian. 

“Race you towards the end of the clearing,” you shouted before taking off into the sky. 

Your brother’s laughter followed after you as he too launched into the sky. 

+++

Hours after night had fallen, you found yourself behind the River House, leaning on the railing to watch the slow moving river. Your wings had since dissipated, but you hadn’t felt this light in a long time. Being able to fly today had healed you in some way.

You had spent a lot of time thinking while you flew amongst the clouds. Thinking of who you used to be. Sometimes you missed that girl, sometimes you wished more than anything to be her again. 

But you hadn’t felt that today…

Today, you had felt like a new person. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. And perhaps in a way, you were. 

Life had never been predictable. Your whole life had been filled with tragedy and sorrow, challenges and hard work, happiness and joy, regret and insecurities. You had gone through so much, so much, but somehow, you were always able to come out on the other side.

It wasn’t easy. It involved many days of despair, awful thoughts, and soulless recovery. You had to fight to get up sometimes, had to fight just to feel something. Sometimes it seemed like you’d conquer one mountain only to be faced with another. 

If it wasn’t for your brother, you were certain you would’ve fallen back a dozen times. But he had been your pillar of strength, your rock to rest against when things got too hard. And Mor and Rhys had been there to help lift you back up. 

You had gained new friends, found a new life for yourself. Metamorphosed into a new person. 

That girl from a year ago? 

Well, you were finally going to let her die. 

You reached into your pocket and pulled out the stone Azriel had left you. You ran your thumb over its smooth surface. It didn’t hurt as much to look at it now, not like it had before. Before it had represented so many things.

The loss of love, the grief of losing your wings, the reminder that he had betrayed you. 

But now…now it just looked like a rock. 

You gripped it in your fist and tossed it into the Sidra, watching as it hit the water’s surface with a small thud before sinking down into the black water. Down and down, until it would find its way to the bottom. Perhaps then it would drift out into the sea. 

You heard the backdoor to the house open.

“Hey, Y/n, come on!” Mor shouted out to you. “We’re going to Ritas!” 

You took one last look at where the rock had disappeared in the water, letting out a long breath. 

“Goodbye,” you whispered into the cold air. “I’ll see you in our next lifetime. Maybe then you’ll deserve me.” 

With a new weight lifted off your shoulders, you turned and marched back to your new beginning. 

[foldingfittedsheets]

So I went to Geek Girl Con this year and the best panel we attended was one where Librarians recommend your next spicy romance read and since they provided a list I figured I'd share the list because why the hell not? I don’t know how long they will leave the link up sorry All synopsis will be what I remembered from the panel without any research into the title so buckle up! I feel like it's pretty obvious which ones I was more interested in based on what I remember.

Triple Sec - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

This is a poly plot wherein a cynical bartender gets swept up in a new romance with a lady in an open marriage and then sparks start between all three.

Band Sinister - Spice Level 4 Queer/Period

A period romance between two guys, the local playboy and our leading lad who meets the local playboy when his sister gets into an accident on the guy’s property. He finds a lovely community very different than the rake's reputation suggested and gets drawn into a romance against his better judgement.

Here We Go Again - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

A wlw romance between two girls with a history who need to go on a roadtrip together and reconnect on the drive. Childhood friends I think?

Payback's a Witch - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fantasy

A wlw romance between Emmy and Talia (I'm cheating I've read this one before and liked it). Emmy left her hometown and magic behind after an embarrassing rejection from the most powerful magical family's scion. She comes back into town and finds her best friend and the stunning Talia have both now been wronged by the same guy. They convince Emmy to join a pact to get back at him together and Emmy and Talia grow closer through the power of revenge.

Act Your Age Eve Brown - Spice Level 2 Het/Fiction

A chaotic autistic female lead runs into a by the book boy after one of them gets hit by the others car and she ends up staying with him. They form a very sweet bond and the representation was lauded as being very precious.

Merry Inkmas - Spice Level 4 Het/Fiction

A cool alternative barista gets fired in front of her crush for giving a homeless man a free coffee and her crush hires her on the spot to work for him instead. They start up a relationship that he warns has an expiration date which suits her fine- or does it? Hijinks ensue.

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fiction

A wlw romance under false pretenses, they agree to get married for a reality TV show. There's an influencer and a shy one can’t remember who’s who, the shy one decided national television is a good way to come out to her family. As the competition continues real feelings start to rear their head between the two.

The Prospects - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fiction

Uhhhh baseball boys? The boys play baseball... mlm romance. Baseball.

Something Wild and Wonderful - Spice Level 3 Queer/Fiction

Two guys are both hiking a grueling trail from Mexico to Canada. After running into each other repeatedly they strike up a connection and eventually a relationship. One of the guys is still spiritual despite rejection from the church and it's healing for the other guy.

Prince and Assassin - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fantasy

An assassin is sent on a mission to take out a prince. While waiting for his orders to pull the dagger the two men grow closer and the assassin realizes he may not be able to kill off the prince as he learns more about him- but his sister's life is forfeit if he fails. Dramaaaaa

After Hours on Milagro Street - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

I cheated and had to refresh my memory as I fully forgot the plot. A bar is entrusted to new management in the form of a tattooed tough lady. A child of the family who's always run it takes issue with her management and sparks fly as they learn to compromise.

The Pairing - Spice Level Queer/Fiction

A couple breaks up before taking an amazing food tour across Europe and neither goes. With their tickets to the tour about to expire both decide to say screw it and go anyway, presuming that they couldn't possibly run into each other. They do. They they proceed to try to out slut each other while eating delicious food to prove how over each other they are. They aren't.

Hunt the Stars - Spice Level 3 Het/Sci fi

Human/alien pairing I think? As a bounty hunting crew takes a dangerous job and in the midst of peril find undeniable chemistry despite some fraught history between the two species.

A Holly Jolly Ever After - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

A previous child actor has found herself in a loveless marriage. She finally breaks free of her husband and takes a huge hit to her public image. She takes a job on a Hallmark style Christmas movie with another previous child star boyband. He has always had a crush on her and while paired as romantic leads on the film she admits to him she's never had an orgasm. We can see where this is going.

Morning Glory Milking Farm - Spice Level 5 Het/Fantasy

Stay with me. Minotaur. Milking. Farms. But it's not milk, guys. So a down on her luck girl takes a great paying job on a farm which I think is like phone sex? and makes a connection with one of the beefy boys get it. Genuinely tactful conversations around consent despite the goofy premise. Monster fuckers will enjoy.

Hate to Want You - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

Romeo and Juliet style warring families who hate each other because of grocery stores, I think. A boy and girl get together once a year and hate fuck each other about it but things get hard when she moves back into town for real and they keep bumping into each other.

Consort of Fire - Spice Level 5 Queer/Fantasy

A princess and knight go to take down a dragon but wind up falling for him instead? I feel like that's enough said. Poly dynamic and dragons, that's all it took for me to put in a hold.

Dating Dr. Dil - Spice Level 3 Het/Fiction

Fake dating a hot doctor to get her family off her back. 'Nough said.

Satisfaction Guaranteed - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

A lady inherits a sex toy shop and drops her job to try to save it. The store manager doesn't think much of her and they both have to work together to get the shop back on its feet.

Role Playing - Spice Level 3 Het/Fiction

A forties lady joins a message board for gaming and strikes up a conversation with someone she assumes is a teenager. The guy thinks he's talking to a grandma. They meet and realize they're in the same age bracket and have a lot in common.

[lurkingshan]

A love letter to TsukuTabe

I loved the first season of this drama, but this second season (really more of a straightforward continuation of the first season narrative, which ended unfinished) is a remarkable glow up for an already strong show. These creators did not come to play, and they had a lot to say about the experiences of women living in patriarchal cultures.

This drama tackled so many experiences that afab people go through as they try to build a life for themselves under pressure to conform to societal norms. We have so many different lived experiences of women in this show, all of whom are queer by way of falling outside the lines of what is expected of them:

Nomoto, who experiences a queer awakening, wrestles with the specifics of her sexual identity, and bravely forges ahead despite feeling pressure from her family to marry a man and procreate

Kasuga, who breaks with her family's expectations that she be a caretaker and insists on living her own life, even if she knows the culture she lives in will sometimes make it hard

Yako, who owns her asexual and lesbian identities, proudly forges a life for herself, builds community for herself and others, and advocates for that community both publicly and privately

Nagumo, who struggles to connect with others because of her eating disorder and mental health struggles and lives a solitary existence as a result, but through building bonds with other women finds the strength to begin healing

Sayama, who pushes herself to date around because she feels pressure to live up to expectations to marry, before reconsidering whether that is a goal she actually has for her life and realizing she is happy being unmarried

Fujita, who struggles through years of an unhappy marriage in which she is subjugated to her husband's family before breaking free and pursuing a divorce so she can live happily on her own

It means a lot to me to see a show that cares so deeply about these women and their stories, that gives them so much space to explore and think and communicate their feelings. And they do it all so naturally, by allowing them to form bonds with one another and figure out who they are and what they want through their relationships with each other. This story is all about how we can grow through kindness and compassion from others, and how important it is to pay that support back in kind. It's such a beautiful and unique and desperately needed message in the current media landscape.

And there's more story yet to tell! I have no idea if they will get a third season, but I will be seated for as much of this story as the creators want to make. I would love to see them tackle Nomoto and Kasuga's life as a committed couple, their coming out to their families, and the ongoing lives of the community of queer women around them, which will only continue to broaden and deepen. Like What Did You Eat Yesterday? this show could go on and on forever, and I hope it does. I have so much gratitude for all the people involved in making this show, and to @furritsubs for translating the English subtitles so that international fans could also enjoy it. And if you're seeing this and haven't watched it yet, I am telling you, it is so worth your time.

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Messages from your inner parent and inner child. [Pick a sailor moon character]

Top Left to Right- Pile 1-> Pile 2.

Bottom Left to Right- Pile 3-> Pile 4. [Bonus: Sailor Saturn Gifs for each pile]

================================================================================================

Introduction

Each of us have within, a soul version of our true essence of an inner mother, inner father and an inner child. While you can connect to these energies and aspects of your soul by participating in activities that involves loving on yourself, this pick a card reading forms to try to reach you with your closest & highest version of the above mentioned forms of being. Further an additional message regarding where your energy is headed at in terms of family is also mentioned.

Love on those who love on you. Life is a journey of learning to love along the way until we pass on to the next stage of existence. Make life worth living and loving.

===============================================================================================

Pile 1

Message from Your Inner Mother

Card: The Empress Your inner mother wants you to embrace self-love and nurture your own needs. She encourages you to create a space of comfort and beauty in your life, where you can thrive and grow. This card suggests that you focus on self-care, creativity, and the nurturing aspects of your life.

Message from Your Inner Father

Card: The Emperor Your inner father advises you to establish boundaries and take control of your life. He urges you to be decisive, organized, and to build a solid foundation for your future. This card emphasizes the importance of structure, discipline, and taking responsibility for your actions.

Message from Your Inner Child

Card: The Sun Your inner child reminds you to find joy and playfulness in everyday life. Embrace your curiosity and allow yourself to have fun and explore the world with a sense of wonder. This card encourages you to reconnect with activities that make you happy and to let your inner light shine brightly.

Message on your Familial Relationships

Card: Temperance Healing your familial relationships requires balance and patience. Approach conflicts with a calm and understanding attitude, and strive to find a middle ground. This card suggests that by blending different perspectives and showing empathy, you can create harmony and heal rifts within your family.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Message from Your Inner Mother

Card: Queen of Cups Your inner mother speaks to you about the importance of emotional healing and compassion. She encourages you to connect with your feelings and to be gentle with yourself. This card advises you to practice empathy and to nurture your emotional well-being through self-reflection and meditation.

Message from Your Inner Father

Card: King of Pentacles Your inner father emphasizes stability and security. He advises you to focus on practical matters and to work diligently towards your goals. This card suggests that by being reliable and resourceful, you can create a stable environment for yourself and those around you.

Message from Your Inner Child

Card: Six of Cups Your inner child encourages you to reconnect with your past and cherish fond memories. Nostalgia and a sense of innocence are important for your inner well-being. This card suggests that you take time to revisit joyful experiences from your childhood and let them bring comfort and inspiration.

Your Familial Relationships

Card: The Star To heal familial relationships, focus on hope and renewal. This card encourages you to have faith in the possibility of healing and to approach your family with a sense of optimism. By fostering open communication and showing unconditional love, you can mend broken bonds and inspire positive change.

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Message from Your Inner Mother

Card: The High Priestess Your inner mother wants you to trust your intuition and inner wisdom. She encourages you to listen to your inner voice and to embrace your spiritual side. This card suggests that by connecting with your higher self, you can gain profound insights and guidance.

Message from Your Inner Father

Card: The Hierophant Your inner father advises you to seek knowledge and follow your principles. He emphasizes the importance of tradition and moral values. This card suggests that by adhering to your beliefs and seeking wisdom from mentors or spiritual guides, you can navigate life with integrity and purpose.

Message from Your Inner Child

Card: Page of Wands Your inner child wants you to embrace adventure and creativity. Be open to new experiences and let your curiosity lead the way. This card encourages you to pursue your passions with enthusiasm and to approach life with a sense of excitement and wonder.

Your Familial Relationships

Card: Justice Healing familial relationships requires fairness and honesty. This card advises you to address any issues with a balanced perspective and to ensure that all parties feel heard and respected. By seeking justice and maintaining integrity, you can restore harmony and trust within your family.

================================================================================================

Pile 4

Message from Your Inner Mother

Card: Ten of Pentacles Your inner mother speaks to you about the importance of family and legacy. She encourages you to value your familial connections and to build a strong foundation for future generations. This card suggests that you focus on creating lasting bonds and ensuring the well-being of your family.

Message from Your Inner Father

Card: Nine of Wands Your inner father advises resilience and perseverance. He acknowledges the challenges you’ve faced and encourages you to stay strong and keep going. This card suggests that by maintaining your determination and protecting your boundaries, you can overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.

Message from Your Inner Child

Card: The Fool Your inner child wants you to embrace new beginnings and take risks. Approach life with a sense of adventure and be open to new possibilities. This card encourages you to let go of fear and to trust in the journey ahead, knowing that every step is an opportunity for growth and discovery.

Messages on ur Familial Relationships

Card: The Lovers Healing familial relationships requires love and connection. This card advises you to focus on building strong, loving bonds with your family members. By fostering mutual respect, open communication, and unconditional love, you can heal past wounds and create deeper connections.

================================================================================================

[iridiss]

Mystreet has brilliant potential as a more “innocent and casual” modern au of Diaries to be the universe that heals all the heavy scars that Diaries left behind.

In Mystreet, Laurance’s dads are both alive and the Zvahl family lives as a very happy nuclear family. Sasha and Laurance had a small grudge in their childhood over Laurance leaving the gang in his freshman year, but when they’re older they make up and stay close friends.

Zane and Aphmau used to bicker a lot in their childhood (and very much still do on occasion in their adulthood), but somehow ended up forming a tight-knit friendship over their shared autism I mean interests, making Aphmau one of Zane’s first ever friends. Zane ends up becoming deeply loyal to Aphmau as a true and genuine friend, who would do anything for her and do his best to keep her from harm when the chips fell down. He becomes integrated into Aphmau’s group of found family. He could never dream of hurting her.

Garroth and Zane struggled in their childhood to connect, with Zane’s constant attempts to push everyone away and appear guarded and non-vulnerable, but when dire circumstance finally forced Zane to put his ego aside and open up for once in his life, they do end up connecting and becoming incredibly close as brothers. ((GUYS. REVERSE OF THE IRENE DIMENSION SCENE IN STARLIGHT GUYS. INSTEAD WE HAVE GARROTH FIGHTING HIS LITTLE BROTHER WHILE ZANE BEGS THAT THERES STILL GOOD IN HIM AND TO COME BACK TO HIM AND BE BROTHERS AGAIN. THEY REVERSE THE ROLES IN MYSTREET. AND THIS IS HOW THEY HEAL. FUCK YEAH))

Jeffory lives. And though he and Katelyn still had their break-up, in their later years they still keep in touch, occasionally seeing each other again as Jeffory is invited to house parties and holiday celebrations. He’s happily married to a new wife, who doesn’t die, and raises his daughter in peaceful bliss. He and Zane never meet.

Gene becomes a good guy. More specifically, he becomes a caring older brother and partner. There’s never any point where he and Dante don’t keep in contact. In his childhood, Gene was an edgy emo prick desperate to be cool and superior through manipulation and blackmail, but he mellows out a lot in his 20s, because in this universe, he doesn’t have any reason to keep fighting. Life is good, no one ever betrayed him (aside from Laurance leaving the gang, but when he’s an adult his perspective on that changes from “how could you leave us for a goody-two-shoes PREP life” to “yeah that was very understandable tbh we were NOT a healthy clique lmao”), he was never killed, no one is making him fight for anything, nothing is there to make him bitter and angry and vengeful. There’s nothing to avenge. So he’s happy. He loves his little brother, he loves tormenting him and teasing him, but at the end of the day he would die for him. He loves his doting parents, he’s a happily married polyamorous husband to both Zenix and Sasha forever and I will die on that hill, he reconnects with Laurance and apologizes for all the trouble they had in their youth. Laurance forgives him with a laugh and a joke, the two hug it out, and stay acquaintances. Laurance forms a closer bond with both Zenix and Sasha as a result.

Zenix and Garroth are best friends, especially when they’re adults. It takes them a bit, because in highschool I imagine Garroth would know Zenix as “one of the kids in that mean-looking ruffian gang that made my boyfriend Laurance cry, so fuck you” or even alternatively, if you’ll allow me to be a bit more self-indulgent, “that’s Zane’s weird little friend that comes over sometimes and is very loud and breaks things on occasion.” But like. they can’t NOT be friends in this universe. they should get to maintain their old bond in this universe. Where Zenix is like an additional little brother to the Ro’meave family. Once they become friends, they never have any fallout or problems, they stay friends, and Zenix is very worried about whatever the hell went down on Starlight and very badly wants to make sure that Garroth is okay.

This is the universe where the Diaries characters and their relationships in Diaries are allowed to happen again, but this time, it happens without any of the conflict that tore people apart. There’s no war to fight, there’s no shadow knights that do dastardly things, there’s no heaven and hell colliding that forces people to pick sides—they just get to live. And if life is good and normal and happy for all of them, how do they change? What bonds never die, that did prior? They all get to be friends in ways that they never could before. Zane never goes on a murdering spree antagonizing all of Phoenix Drop for years, so he’s able to meet Nana and the two fall in love, when in Diaries the two never even met. They were always too far apart to have met (and frankly I bet Diaries Nana would have a lot more violent words to say to the man that terrorized her best friend and new home). Zane becomes friends with Aphmau, of all people. Laurance keeps Sasha as a close friend. They heal, man.

travis is an exception to this rule though, he does not get to heal in this universe. it gets worse for him actually

[gingerteawrites]

Undeserving - Where the shadow of the past looms over Diluc’s present

A/N: I'm baaaaaack. This one has been in the works for a minute, and has taken on many different forms, but here I grace you with a work about my OG Genshin husband. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! Not beta read

Content: ANGSTTTT, Husband Diluc, relationship troubles.

Word count: 1.5K

Diluc Ragvindr had convinced himself that the last thing he wanted on this earth was to start a family. The tale of his own being torn apart would never not be a sore wound, one that incessantly throbbed, one that he believed would never heal.

The idea of being ripped away from any sort of attachment was repulsive, as was the possibility of growing estranged from loved ones. Familial bonds were simply too sensitive of a topic. Too painful of an ache.

You on the other hand, had always dreamed of the wonders of marriage. Of a sacred contract of love and care. And after years of timid courting, Diluc did what he thought would never be possible. He gave into the new, selfish desires of your company. Of an attachment to you. Of what he could be WITH you.

Diluc got married to you, the love of his life. Something he felt was simultaneously the best and worse thing he could ever have done. It did not take too long for him to become consumed with dread of history repeating himself. The potential of all the failings of this new attachment loomed over him like shadows of the abyss.

While you enjoyed the newly-wed bliss, the joy of finally being united with your love. Your husband spiraled into more and more agitated thoughts. Yes, this union was something he had wanted. So badly it kept him awake at night. He had wanted to have you for himself. And him for you. But everything he kept inside him created a dangerous brew of dark thoughts that now made him restless.

He tried to hide this all from you. Oh how ashamed he felt. Staying at Angel’s share a little longer than usual, leaving the house before you woke up for sparring exercises, coming up with things to do when you tried to bring him lunch as a surprise.

It all came as a shock to your system. You had always known that Diluc was not openly affectionate, but he had never truly avoided you. Your romance was one of timid touches and whispered sweet words, of acts of service and long evening walks, but never of hiding and silence. It drove you mad.

You tried to be the bigger person and give him space. Afterall, you knew — if only partly— of his family’s woes and him not being used to have someone so close. But after weeks of this game of hide and seek, you had had enough.

One Friday night, with your own spiralling thoughts, you ordered all the house servants to take the weekend off, and waited for Diluc, resolve hard as steel to get through this issue.

When he silently cracked the door open, he jumped at the sight of you, gaze fixed on him with your arms crossed, a single candle on the nightstand illuminating your face.

“Hey,” he greeted quietly, closing the door before he started to take off his coat.

“Hey,” you responded, lips pursed as you watched him. These were the first words you had exchanged all week.

He almsot felt small under your gaze, taking off his outer garments and gloves which he set on his dresser and turned to face you with a sigh.

“I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy recently,” he tried to appease you, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I am exhausted, shall we sleep?”

Your brows furrowed in exasperation, and you unfolded your arms.

“Not so fast Diluc.” He froze at your tone, sharp, cutting through the dry air. “Is that truly all you wish to say?” You asked, feeling yourself growing shaky with all the contained emotions. Confusion. Anger. Fear.

“What…” he turned fully towards you “What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly.

You took in a shaky breath, closing your eyes to calm your nerves. When you reopened them, you noticed your husband’s slightly hunched position, his bangs falling over his eyes. That hair that always reminded you of a warm hearth. Something to grow fond of, now looked dull in the pale candelight. And the sight made your heart ache.

“Diluc please don’t play dumb with me. What is going on?” You ask, leaning towards him “You’re avoiding me.” The words leave a bitter taste in your mouth and your lip curls in distaste.

“Did I do something wrong?” You add after a pause, the sadness breaking through your tone.

“No, no, no, it’s nothing you have done.” He jumps in, guilt gripping at him hearing your pain. It was much easier to rationalize his behavior when all he saw was your sleeping form when he left in the mornings and came back late at night. But now faced with you awake, his chest felt unbelievably tight.

“Then what is it?” You ask, steadying your voice once again.

Diluc sighed, his fingers gripping the sheets beneath him. He then raises his head so his eyes can meet yours, the curtains of his hair falling away from his face, and you see the conflict in his eyes. The pain of something he is keeping locked away in his being.

“Please talk to me.” You whisper, covering his hand with yours.

“I…” he pauses, feeling ashamed of his thoughts. How could he even justify his actions to you. “Maybe… maybe us getting married was a mistake.”

The words pierce through you like a blade, and your entire body stiffens, mouth agape, eyes open wide. You feared your ears betrayed you. “What did you say?” you hear yourself ask.

His hand reached for yours, and you jerked away before he could reach you. His lips opened and closed multiple times, like he was trying to find words.

Recovering from the initial shock of his words, and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of anger bubble out of you. “Is there someone else?” You asked through gritted teeth. The possibility would absolutely obliterate you, but you had to know.

“No, I could never.” He rushed to say again. ”Then what is this about, Diluc!?” You almost yelled, chest heaving. You did not recognize the man standing before you.

“I…” he stammered again, brows downturned, biting his lower lip. “You just deserve someone better.” He spat out, his entire body tense. “You’re just too good for me. And I am sorry it took me until now to realize it. No.” He stopped himself. “I knew all along, but I was selfish.” He shook his head. “I just can’t make this work.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice growing meek.

Your hands fall against the mattress, fully taking in his words. Words that did nothing to quell your anger, only adding more fuel to it.

“And who made that call?” You ask, loud voice resonating through the room. He looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who decided that huh?” You leaned towards him. “Not me.” You concluded bitterly.

“But.” He says, eyes locked with yours.

“But nothing, Diluc.” You punctuated, voice firm again. “I think you are deserving of me.” You point to yourself. “I love you Diluc. Do you not?”

“Of course I do.” He adds, closing the distance between you two, his fingers finding yours again. “I just don’t want this to end badly. I don’t want us to end badly.” He confesses.

“But don’t you think we’re worth the risk?” You ask, searching his eyes. “Don’t you think that our love is worth trying?” You emphasize.

He looks down at your linked fingers before his gaze returns to you. “I am a weak man. Weaker than I look, certainly. I’m scared of losing you.”

“So you decide to push me away?” You ask in disbelief, to which he stays silent. “Then I refuse to go. We are going to make this work, whether you believe you are strong enough for it or not.” You conclude.

Diluc looks at you, your eyes shining with determination and unshed tears. A testament to your own strenght. An announcement of his own weakness. How could he be Mondstat’s defender, working to uphold the foundation of his city if he could not work for you. The realization sunk into his stomach with a nauseating weight. He was chosing the easy way out. He was hurting you and himself because of fear.

“I am sorry.” He chokes out, pulling you into him, engulfing you in his warmth for a hug. “I really am not deserving of you.” He adds, his voice trembling as he buried his head into your neck.

“Just promise.” You wrap your arms around him “Promise you’ll try.”

He pulls away from you, his hands moving up to hold your cheeks, his eyes burning with new certainty, new determination. “I swear to you.” His thumbs move in circles against your skin, wiping away your tears that have started to fall. “I promise. I stake my life on this. On us.” And he brings his lips to yours to seal this commitment. The past was dark and seemed all-engulfing, but he would not let it overshadow this present with you.

Comment and reblogs are much appreciated :))

[miss-musings]

It’s so funny how in The Bad Batch 3.01 “Confined,” Crosshair and Batcher are parallel characters:

• Omega visits both of them regularly. While they are confined, she has some amount of freedom within Tantiss.

• Both are initially closed off/withdrawn and antagonistic toward her.

• But, through continual positive interactions with Omega, they grow attached to her. (You could say she domesticated BOTH of them … as others joked about here! 😂)

• Both of them are hurt — Batcher, physically and Crosshair, emotionally/physically — and Omega helps them both to heal.

• Both of their lives are threatened because of Omega’s actions. Batcher is slated for termination after Omega domesticates her; and Hemlock threatens to kill Crosshair if Omega’s misbehavior continues.

• Omega eventually frees both of them, and they both prove crucial in their collective escape in Episode 3.03. (Note: all three of them escape Tantiss the same way — via Batcher’s kennel chute.)

• Both Batcher and Crosshair are always ready to Square Up ™️ anytime someone threatens Omega.

• “S/he deserves a chance.”

• Hemlock only ever uses their designations — CT-9904 and LH-201. Omega only ever uses their names.

• The irony of Hemlock saying “actions always have consequences — sometimes not in the ways we imagine”… He literally arms Omega with two individuals who help in her first escape, and pairs her with Emerie who helps with the second escape. And later, Crosshair and Omega team up with Hunter to kill Hemlock. None of this would’ve happened if Hemlock had supervised Omega more closely, or not given her as many freedoms during her initial stay.

• Same thing with “Emotion and sentiment have no place within these walls. You would do well to remember that” … considering it’s the Bad Batch’s love for each other that causes Hemlock’s downfall.

• Omega refuses point-blank to leave either of them behind throughout S3. “I wasn’t going to leave without you.” / “I’m not abandoning her.”

• Also, Batcher and Crosshair save Hunter together in 3.05. 😂

• Batcher almost exclusively follows Crosshair in 3.05. But, after he reconciles with Hunter and Wrecker in that episode, Batcher seems more comfortable hanging out with Hunter and Wrecker too. Like, she fully integrates into the family when Crosshair does.

• UPDATE: Hemlock’s line of “And your domestication of LH-201 only made her vulnerable” also applies to Crosshair, as I talk about more in my Allegorical Analysis of 3.05 “The Return.” Despite his attempts to push her away, Omega makes Crosshair feel emotionally vulnerable for the first time in ages. But, just as Omega ultimately protected Batcher *by* domesticating her, so too does Omega protect Crosshair emotionally through the bond they form on Tantiss. As I speculated about in my CrossDad Episodes Ranking, seeing Omega regularly on Tantiss is probably a big reason — maybe the primary or only reason — why Hemlock’s CX conditioning didn’t work on Crosshair. Yes, Omega made both characters “vulnerable” in a way they weren’t before, but she also ultimately saved their lives by doing so.

[g0thnico]

Things that if I were Rick Riordan I would make more dramatic:

Percy and Gabe's relationship. I understand that it's a children's series so it's normal not to be explored as much, but if PJO was written by me, I would be turning this into one of the main points of Percy's traumas

Percy's mortal life. The only times this is introduced in PJO is to show something divine next, usually monsters or new problems. I would have shown more of what Percy was like at school and his relationship with mortals (or lack thereof)

Percy's powers. Okay, Percy is super powerful and doesn't have any conditions for this?? Nico has nothing more fair. For me, Percy's healing should 2hurt, a burning sensation for cuts and the feeling of bones going back into place when he needs to fix them. In addition, his ability to control water will cause hunger that varies according to how much he used his powers

Ares. Okay Ares is the god of war, but also the protector of women, don't you think he would have at least conflicted feelings about Percy because he was abused along with his mother? I think he would have at least a little empathy for him because of Sally

Percy's romantic life. Okay Rick, we already understand that you definitely don't know how to write romance novels, so leave it to me. Your development of Percabeth was crap and Perachel manages to make it worse, don't even talk to me about Percalypso, he accidentally ended up making Percy's romantic development with two of Hades' sons better than the canon couples. Yes, I'm talking about Bianca di Angelo because it seems like no one noticed the way he talked about Bianca (she was different from the other girls and easy to talk to), Nico (he felt a great sense of protection towards him and couldn't stop thinking about the boy who ran away) and HADES (he was amazed by Hades' dark form and would like to sleep at his feet????)

Grover and Percy soul connection. The fact that Grover and Percy are bonded and feel each other's feelings and the fact that if one dies, the other dies with them, has only been explored 2 or 3 times and that is absurd!!!! I would do at least 5 dramatic scenes where Percy feels an indescribable sadness and can't show anything but Grover cries and breaks down in helplessness just by feeling his friend's emotions. Maybe another one where Grover almost dies and Percy spits blood and faints and everyone has to find a way to save both of them or simply undo the bond before one dies, or even take care of one through the other's body (if that's possible) ok I have a lot of ideas

finally, the older brother complex coming from Sally (feeling like the experiment that went wrong and watching what went right grow). Long title, I know, but it's necessary and self-explanatory. Sally had Percy and went through a lot of hardships because he was a demigod and she was practically a single mother (having Gabe as a husband is the same as nothing) so Percy grew up with a lot of trauma and somewhat neglected by his parents and society (don't be fooled, Sally is an excellent mother, but they were a poor family and she had to work, leaving the boy to fend for himself and become somewhat independent too soon). He did everything possible to avoid causing trouble and in Sally's eyes, he really didn't! She sees all the problems they went through as the fault of the gods or monsters, not her son (the victim). So Sally gets rid of Gabe, moves out, marries a good man who understands her and accepts her "we have to deal with half-blood stuff" lifestyle, and has a normal, mortal daughter who has a perfect family. Percy never had that, and when he does, he feels like he's second best in this butter-business family. So he wants his sister to have the best life possible but realizes it's too late for him to live that

and the younger brother complex from Poseidon (feels like he must exceed his expectations, become the hero everyone expects, become as good as all the other sons of Poseidon). Percy is a demigod, accidentally a son of Poseidon and that shouldn't be a big deal. But suddenly there is a prophecy and he is the chosen one, so he is Poseidon's favorite son, strongest demigod, hero of Olympus and he needs to be strong, more than ever Percy needs to be not only good, but the best. Never in his life was he expected to do anything, not even get past the 6th grade so dad God Almighty puts all this weight on his back and he almost dies more times than he can count

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 04

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist:

…

NOVEMBER 11, 2002

Two months flew by since I was first brought here and I started to form bonds with my supposed siblings, even if they would never truly be that to me. Klaus was the first person to talk to me, to ever make me feel like part of the group. Then came Ben because well he always came with Klaus. Then slowly everyone else. I'd call some of them my friends.

But dinner at the academy was one of those times when I felt most anxious. It wasn’t the fact that we were having “family meals” something that I never had growing up with a drunk and a scared woman. It was the fact that I had to be near Reginald, and everyone else without being allowed to leave.

He had made sure to catch up on the twelve years of training I missed, and it made my life a living hell. I missed the fun of childhood because of training, lessons with him and missions and I'd always ache from the torments of the day.

Meals were supposed to be a time to relax and chat with family but he once again made sure to take the fun out of that too.

I was upstairs when I heard the record player start, meaning that dinner was happening soon. Grace always turned it on at the same time. The record I've heard time and time again has been engraved in my mind. By seventeen I could repeat the whole thing by memory alone.

“During extreme weather conditions, a climber must possess the wisdom to determine when evacuation is inevitable.”

Grace rang a small bell which was the sign for us to rush downstairs. We ran down the main staircase single file as always and flooded into the dining room where dinner was waiting.

“A controlled alpine descent begins with the girding of one’s loins and the anchoring of the climbing rope to one's enemy, the mountain.”

Instead of sitting down and eating we were forced to stand behind our chairs and wait for the guest of honor to make his way down to the table. No matter how hungry we were.

The wood table had 10 chairs and a plethora of food on each plate. I still don’t understand the seating arrangements since it wasn't in number order. It was me, Luther, Diego and Five on the left. Alison, Klaus and Ben are on the right. Vanya in the middle stared directly at where Reginald would be sitting if he graced us with his presence.

I gotta hand it to her, looking into his eyes while eating seemed very scary. I should also know because I was the closest to him since he left a chair between him and Alison on the other side.

We waited there for him behind our chairs, as I distracted myself from the gross food on my plate. I was a very picky eater at the time, but there was no second option made for me. I remember Reginald telling me once, eat it or don’t eat at all. I took the second option.

Grace stood at the front of the archway waiting for the old man. After a minute he finally came down.

“The Dülfersitz rappel is the preferred method for descent when rope is the only available tool, but must be regarded as a last resort. Begin by looping the rope..”

He pushed out his seat and looked up at all of us and then Vanya at the other head of the table. “Sit” he commanded us.

We all graciously took our seats and everyone started to eat but me who poked at my food. I didn't like some of the slop made, but it wasn’t Grace's fault at all, I just missed my mom and the cultural foods she would make at home. But I doubt she missed me. I was given a look of concern by Luther, we weren't the closet but we did have our moments being Number One and Number Zero. I gave him a shake of the head which meant that I was fine not eating and continued to pick.

“A screen anchor must be used if the rope is to be successfully retrieved from the mountain. Tightly knot the ends of the rope. Once anchored, thread the double rope through the legs, front to back, and around the buttocks.”

But I wasn't the only person not eating. I looked up to see a few others doing more peculiar things than I was. Diego had one of his knives and was carving something into the table. And Klaus only at thirteen years old was rolling a blunt, to the side hoping nobody would notice. And Ben had a book in his right hand, reading away even though I'm sure that isn’t allowed.

I thought that this night was going to be like any other and suddenly I couldn’t wait to grow up. I didn't know it then but that wasn't true at all.

“It is of utmost importance that the rope be drawn under the gluteal muscles, not through the crevice between the gluteus.”

At first, I thought Five was staring at me but no he was staring hard at Reginald who didn't seem to notice. Just sipping his wine. Vanya looked at the thinking Five not sure what to make of his expression.

“Proceed by holding the rope diagonally-”

Five interrupts the background noise by sticking his knife directly into the wooden table. The children all look up from their plates at him, and so does Reginald.

“Number Five?” He bellows out.

“I have a question.” Five grit his teeth after taking the knife out.

“Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. Not talking during mealtimes.” I noticed Grace standing behind him as he went on. “You are interrupting Herr Carlson.”

Five pushes his plate out of his way, it slams into the center of the table. I had no idea why he was so upset at the time and only knowing him for such as short time didn't help either.

“I want to time travel,” he says.

“No.”

“But I'm ready.” Five backs out of his chair. “I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps, just like you said.” He blinks next to Reginald on the other side of me to prove his point.

“See?”

Reginald puts down his fork, “A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn.”

I could almost fall asleep at his words. He talked so monotone and slowly I don’t know why he wasn't talking instead of Herr Carlson.

“Well, I don’t get it.”

“Hence the reason why you’re not ready.” Everyone eats like they aren’t listening to this conversation except Vanya who shakes her head and mouths no at the almost twitching with anger Five. He looks at her and then back at him.

“I'm not afraid.”

“Fear isn’t the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even on your mind are far too unpredictable.” Reginald claims, going back to his food before dropping his utensils to give Five a look. “Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore.”

As Reginald returns to eating again, Five storms out of the dining room pissed off. “Number Five! You haven’t been excused!”

We all looked worried, where was he going? By the looks of it not back to his room. And by the sound of the front door opening and shutting I knew where he was going.

“Come back here!” Reginald yelled.

The look on Vanya's face was heartbreaking. I could tell she wanted to go after him but was afraid of getting yelled at too. I on the other hand didn't know what reaction to have, he was nice to me, we shared a few conversations but seeing him leave didn't have the emotional weight to it as if I had been here all my life. But nobody knew that was the last time they were ever going to see Number Five ever again.

Well until now.

..

PRESENT DAY

“I survived on scraps. Canned foods, cockroaches, anything I could find.” Five tells us.

Vanya and I sit around him, trying to grasp the insane fact that the world is going to end. At times like this, I think of all the times people theorized the world ending at any time and then going out the next day confused but to have someone actually see it happen was a whole other thing. I didn't know what to do or how to prepare. Only having eight days to get my shit in order.

No one but us knew about this which made it even worse to think about..

“You know that rumor that Twinkies have an endless shelf life?” Five chuckles which I didn't think he could do. “Well, it's total bullshit.” Well, there goes my theory.

“I can’t even imagine,” says Vanya. One out of the two taking things more seriously.

“You do what it takes to survive, or you die. So we adapted. Whatever the world threw at us, we found a way to overcome it.”

“I'm sorry, who is this we that you keep bringing up?” I questioned. Just like Vanya was earlier, I was ignored by Five.

“You got anything stronger?” Five asked.

Vanya dumps out his coffee and pours in some whiskey instead. Five is handed the cup happily and takes a big gulp. We all stand up now near her kitchen, Vanya gives him an eye-opening look as I look at my feet still questioning the fact that we are all going to die even though I have a healing factor.

“You think I'm crazy.” He frowns.

Vanya stammers, “no it's just.. it's a lot to take in.”

“Exactly what don’t you understand?” Five whines.

“Well I wouldn't say I don't understand.” I put in, “It's just a crazy claim that all of us are dead in eight days, Five.”

But Vanya asks a question. “Why didn't you just time travel back?” Which I also wondered.

But Five scoffs at us. “Gee, wish I'd thought of that,” he says sarcastically to our statements. “Time travel is a crapshoot. I went into the ice and never acorn-ed.” He quoted what Reginald said years ago.

“You think I didn't try everything to get back to my family?” The sadness suddenly kicks in and I feel bad for the kid. Man..?

“If you grew old in the apocalypse, how come you're still a kid?” I tilt my head.

He scoffs again, strutting away from us to get more whiskey off the kitchen island. “I told you already. I must have gotten the equations wrong.”

Vanya goes on as he pours. “I mean, Dad always used to say that.. Time travel could mess up your mind. Well, maybe that's what is happening?”

Five slams down his glass. “This was a mistake, you're both too young..”

“No Five,” Vanya calls out

“Too naive to understand.” He walks to the door.

“Five just wait and listen to her.” I sighed.

But he listens and stops. He turns back to us, lips pursed into a scowl.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time, and I don't want to lose you again. That’s all.” She says. “You know it's getting late, I have lessons early, and I need to sleep and I'm sure you two need to too.”

She runs over to the couch and hands me a blanket and pillow. Uhm does she think I'm sharing with the teen?

“We’ll talk in the morning again. Okay? I promise. Night.” She begs us to stay as she gives us a shy smile and walks to her room.

“Goodnight Vanya.” I smile back before it leaves my face as I look back at the blanket and then Five. Her door opens and closes and I'm left alone with him.

Five moves to sit on the couch, and I do the same. “So what now?” I ask him.

He doesn’t answer, instead he opens a piece of cloth. Inside that cloth is a large brown fake eye. Like the ones used when you lose yours. I stare at the eye thinking I'm losing my mind. Everything today makes me feel like I'm losing it.

He sighs as I'm about to question him on why he has a creepy fake eye, all he does is look at the back of it where it reads who produced the eye. Meritech, it says, never heard of it.

I finally look at him in his hopefully real eyes. “What is that?”

He quietly gets up and opens the door to leave.

I blocked him. “There's no way you brought me here and are about to leave without answering any of my questions. And leaving me on my own at god knows where.”

He looks confused.

“That means I'm coming with you, of course.”

..

Five dragged me along to what I'm guessing was Meritch’s office building. A spacious place with lots of windows and workers walking around in lab coats. How he was going to get private info about this eye I do not know. But if I know Five, I know he’s at least going to try to bullshit his way through this.

Another lab coat worker walked over to the front desk which was in front of where we were standing and gave us a strange look. He shares the look with the front desk lady and then at us.

“Uh, can I help you?” He says.

Five walks up to him menacingly. “I need to know who this belongs to.” He holds up the eye for him to see.

“Where did you get that?”

“Why do you care.”

I cough, interrupting the two's standoff. “Hello yes, he found it on a playground. It must’ve just popped out!” I forced a chuckle. “My sweet brother here just wants to return it to its.. rightful owner!” I end my lie.

“Ohh.. what a thoughtful young man” the front desk lady adds on.

“Yeah. Look up the name for me, will ya?” Five snaps completely breaking apart my well-crafted lie about his sweet nature.

The man and woman look wary. “I'm sorry but patient records are strictly confidential. That means I can’t tell you-“

“Yeah, I know what it means.” Five grumbles

“But I'll tell you what I can do. I will take the eye off your hands and return it to the owner myself. I'm sure he or she will be very grateful so if I can just-“ the man reaches out for the eye in Five's hands.

“Yeah, you’re not touching this eye.”

“Aidan! You don't mean that, apologize.” I grit my teeth trying to signal to Five that he doesn’t wanna make these people mad or everything is for nothing.

“Now, you listen here, young man-“ I was about to tell that ugly man not to mess with my kid brother like that. But Five beat me to it when he grabbed onto the man's collar and yanked him towards himself.

I sigh knowing now we officially fucked this up, and dropped my happy act.

In his squeaky voice Five yells. “No! You listen to me, asshole. I've come a long way for this, through some shit your pea brain couldn’t even comprehend.” I almost giggle at his attempt to seem tough.

“So just give me the information I need, and I'll be on my merry way. And if you call me ‘young man’ one more time, I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall.” He finishes with a smile.

“Oh dear.” The front desk lady says.

The man still in Five’s grip looks over at the front desk woman.

“Call security” he whispers even though we could all hear what he was saying.

“Yeah,” she replies, picking up the old-looking telephone right next to her and dialing.

“We need to go now.” I grab onto Five's shoulder.

He gives that man one last dirty look and lets go of his coat. Sending the man back a few centimeters. The worker fixes his coat and exhales like he is trying to pretend he didn't just let this preteen threaten his life

Five and I walked out of the building defeated. And move on to our next idea, reinforcements.

…

Aug 14 update:

If you'd like to be added to the tag list for rest of the series (starts at chapter 10) say taglist in the comments!

[zukosdualdao]

i can’t stop thinking about WHY zutara bonding in the crystal catacombs scene is so moving and its just so!!!!

like. katara is someone who specifically addresses her mother’s death to empathisze with other people, like haru or jet. and while they do connect with her on this level (and i have lots of <3 feelings about haru and katara), she is always the one initially extending the empathy. she is always the one in that caretaking role.

and when she brings up her mother in the crossroads of destiny, it’s different! because it’s the first time she’s taking about it in anger, as she yells at zuko about what this war has taken from her, personally.

and ZUKO is the one who reaches out to empathize with her in addressing the loss of his own mother by the hands of the fire nation. zuko, who has thus far not been more than an enemy or very brief, reluctant ally to her says: “i’m sorry. that’s something we have in common.” because he hears her crying and her grief and her anger and gets it, he does. and instead of katara being the one to reach out, to provide this kind of care for someone, for once, it’s the other way around.

and for zuko’s part! we actually see time and time again that he is someone not only capable of empathy, but rather prone to it. but it’s a part of himself he HATES. he’s been taught a very harsh lesson by his father: caring for others is a weakness. so, up to this point, he’s always not only shied away from empathy and connection with others, but actively set out to not be seen that way and perform a lack of care for them. even when he does start forming new connections, like with song, who empathizes with him through the shared pain of their scars, he can’t bring himself to return the compassion of sharing his own experience. (actually, i’d go so far as to say stealing the family’s ostritch horse at the end of the episode goes beyond the simple motivation of “we need to travel, this will make it easier”; it’s a way of reasserting to himself that whatever kinship or care he may have felt for song, he is not WEAK, he can still be the son his father wants by performing this act of disregard for others.)

but in the catacombs, he doesn’t just NOT shy away from empathy, he actively embraces it, actively makes the CHOICE to reach out. and like, he didn’t need to. while WE know katara as an extremely kind person, there was no real reason for him to expect this would be met by anything but hostility. and he chose to reach out anyway! because the thing is: he genuinely HAD grown. it’s just that healing isn’t linear.

it’s why zuko’s choice in the catacombs is so tragic, and such a betrayal for katara. because however brief it was, for a moment, they shared something real and honest and vulnerable. with someone neither of them ever would have expected it from.

[zapreportsblog]

I love it. I felt like Jasper need to realize the animal diet was not working for him. He needs to learn sometimes trying something new does not always goes as planned.

Twilight

Jasper x Mom reader

The reader is Jasper's mom from when he was human. She was turned after he left for the army and believed he had died. She has long brown hair. She has the ability to speak any language just by touch. Garrett is her mate.

feel free to add anything..

Awww

❝my sweet boy❞

✭ pairing : jasper hale x reader x garrett

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : jasper keeps his past very tight lipped but when his mother turns up suddenly and get this she’s engaged to his adoptive fathers old friend, Garrett.

✭ authors note : fast as i can real delulu yelling out my man!

✭ twilight masterlist

In the heart of the forest, (Y/N) stood with her mate Garrett, a bond that had grown stronger through centuries of shared experiences. Her long brown hair cascaded down her shoulders, a stark contrast to the shimmering silver of her eyes. (Y/N) possessed an extraordinary ability, one that allowed her to understand and speak any language simply by touching the person. A skill that had come in handy during their nomadic existence.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting hues of orange and pink across the sky, (Y/N) felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her. She often thought about her human life, a time when she had been a mother to a young man named Jasper. He had left for war, only for her to receive news of his tragic demise shortly after. It was a pain that had never truly healed.

"Garrett," she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of memories. "There's something I need to tell you."

Garrett turned his gaze toward her, concern etched into his features. "What is it, love?"

Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) began recounting the tale of her human life, her voice tinged with sadness. "I had a son, Jasper. He left for war, and I was told he never returned. That he died on the battlefield."

Garrett's expression shifted from concern to surprise. "Jasper? I think I know him."

(Y/N)’s heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean? How could you know him?"

Garrett's eyes met hers, his voice laced with a mix of uncertainty and realization. "I think he survived, (Y/N). I believe he was adopted by an old friend of mine after he was turned."

(Y/N)'s heart raced, hope and disbelief warring within her. "That can't be true. I was told he died. Are you certain?"

Garrett nodded, conviction in his gaze. "I've seen him, (Y/N). He's part of a coven, the Cullens, and I've crossed paths with him. He's a vampire now."

Tears welled up in (Y/N)’s eyes, emotions swirling as memories resurfaced. She felt a mixture of joy and sorrow, the prospect of seeing her son again too overwhelming to ignore.

"Take me to him, Garrett," she implored. "Please, I need to see him."

Garrett's expression softened, his fingers gently brushing against (Y/N)’s cheek. "Of course, my love. If he's truly your son, you deserve to reunite."

With a newfound determination, (Y/N) and Garrett embarked on a journey to find the Cullen coven. As they approached the house, (Y/N)’s heart raced with anticipation. The prospect of seeing Jasper again, even in his immortal form, was almost too much to bear.

The door opened, revealing a strikingly beautiful family. A tall, blonde vampire with a strong yet gentle demeanor stepped forward.

"Hello," he greeted warmly. "I'm Carlisle Cullen. How can we help you?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her fingers tightening around Garrett's hand. "I'm (Y/N). This is Garrett. We've come to see someone. Someone named Jasper."

Carlisle's expression shifted from curiosity to understanding. "Ah, you must be (Y/N). Jasper has spoken of you."

Emotion choked (Y/N)’s voice. "May we see him? Please."

Carlisle nodded and stepped aside, allowing them entry. (Y/N)’s heart raced as she caught sight of him. Jasper stood a short distance away, his golden eyes meeting hers with a mixture of shock and recognition.

"Mother?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Tears streamed down (Y/N)’s cheeks as she took a step forward, her fingers trembling with a mixture of longing and joy. "Jasper, my sweet boy."

In an instant, they were wrapped in an embrace that transcended time and pain. (Y/N) held her son tightly, her heart finally finding the closure it had desperately sought for centuries.

As the Cullens watched the reunion unfold, a tangible bond of family and love, they understood the weight of the moment. (Y/N) had unearthed a piece of her past, and in doing so, had forged a new chapter in her immortal life.

Jasper's eyes remained locked with (Y/N)’s, disbelief and shock written across his face. He had thought his mother was long gone, lost to the ravages of time and the cruel circumstances of his transformation. And yet, here she stood before him, a living testament to the unexpected twists of fate.

"Mother," Jasper managed to choke out, his voice trembling with a mix of emotions. "Is it really you?"

Tears glistened in (Y/N)’s eyes as she nodded, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Yes, Jasper. It's me, my dear boy."

Emotion washed over Jasper, the floodgates of memories opening wide. His human life, the love he had for his mother, the pain of parting, all of it surged to the forefront of his mind. He stepped closer, his arms hesitantly encircling her once more, the years of separation melting away in that simple embrace.

"You were turned," Jasper murmured, his voice a mixture of wonder and realization. "You've become like me."

(Y/N) nodded, her fingers gently brushing against his cheek. "Yes, after I believed you were gone, the pain was too much to bear. Garrett found me, and he changed me."

Jasper's gaze shifted to Garrett, his eyes narrowing slightly as he assessed the man who stood beside his mother. Garrett, for his part, met Jasper's gaze with a mixture of understanding and respect.

"I owe you an explanation," Garrett said calmly. "Your mother and I are mates now."

Jasper's eyes widened, the gravity of the situation settling in. "Mates?"

(Y/N$ nodded, her fingers intertwining with Garrett's. "Yes, Jasper. Garrett has been by my side for centuries. He's helped me heal, helped me find a new purpose."

Jasper's emotions were a whirlwind—confusion, surprise, and an underlying sense of happiness for his mother. He glanced back at (Y/N), his eyes searching her face for answers.

"You're engaged?" Jasper asked, his tone a mixture of surprise and curiosity.

(Y/N) smiled softly, a blush touching her cheeks. "Yes, we are."

Garrett added, his voice filled with genuine warmth, "Jasper, your mother is an extraordinary woman. We've found strength and love in each other."

Jasper's expression softened, his initial reservations giving way to a growing acceptance of the situation. He had been through enough in his immortal life to know that love could be found in the most unexpected places.

"I'm glad you found each other," Jasper said, his voice sincere. "You deserve happiness, Mom."

(Y/N)’s smile widened, relief and gratitude evident in her eyes. "Thank you, Jasper."

As the trio stood together, the weight of the past and the promise of the future intertwined, Jasper felt a sense of belonging he hadn't experienced in a long time. The reunion had brought about an unexpected twist in his immortal existence, one that would forever change the dynamics of his relationship with his mother and her mate.

In that moment, Jasper realized that even in the world of vampires and eternal life, connections could be mended and new bonds formed. And as he looked at (Y/N) and Garrett, hand in hand, he knew that their love story was a testament to the resilience of the human heart, even in the face of immortality.

[fuckyeselucien]

Creator Highlight #18 - @fieldofdaisiies

Welcome back to Elucien Creator Highlights!! We want to take a moment to recognize the amazing individuals in our fandom who kindly use up so much of their free time and creative energy to share their work with us! 

Today we’d like to highlight @fieldofdaisiies! If there is anyone who signifies the essence of kindness and community, it's fieldofdaisiies. She is always going out of her way to uplift others, both in her daily interactions on her personal blog and also through projects such as @acourtofkindness - a blog dedicated to spreading kindness in the fandom.

The light and joy that she brings to the fandom is infectious, and her efforts to spread positivity in this community is in part what led to the creation of this blog! So it is with very heartfelt gratitude and honor that we highlight @fieldofdaisiies, and say thank you for all the work and effort you contribute to make this fandom a better place.

And isn't just her heart that's made of pure gold, her fics are too! Fieldofdaisiies is a wonderful author, with works comprising a variety of ships and mediums.

Below are some of our favorite of her Elucien works, but you’ll want to read all the fics on her masterlist, HERE!

Ars Amatoria:

Elucien Medici AU With their father's passing and amidst the intense conflict between the Vanserra and Hybern bank, Eris assumed the role of family head, shouldering the responsibility of both his lineage and the bank. The need for allies becomes vital, prompting a crucial decision: Lucien, Eris's younger brother and Second in Command, will have to take over responsibility — meaning, he has to alter his lifestyle and take a wife. His destined match is Elain Archeron, the daughter of a prominent and influential merchant from Venice.

A Court of Sight and Devotion

The story follows Elain's journey back to the Mortal Lands, where she must confront her past and present. She isn't alone on this journey; her mate accompanies her as they navigate their feelings and the effects of their bond, striving not to let the mating bond interfere too much with their actions and emotions. Lucien, just like Elain, must face his own memories of the past and uncertainties about the future. He eventually meets his biological father and struggles with the possibility of loving again after losing Jesminda, who took a piece of his heart with her. Can Elain heal his broken heart, or will their paths in the end part?

O Solstice Night

Lucien and Elain are finally putting everything aside and listen to their hearts one Solstice Evening. But obviously that does not work without some misunderstanding that creates a bit of angst and unease. And since our favourite male with fire in his blood is involved there is also a fine amount of smut in this story.

Want to nominate someone? Fill out the form HERE.

[steampoweredstrawberry]

The thing I love about the Tadpole Gang is how their responses to their abusers are different, but the game acknowledges that escaping and healing from abuse isn't one size fits all.

You have someone like Shadowheart, who is escaping not just Shar, but all of her followers. People she considered her family. She's forced to go no contact with all of them because it's the only way she can heal.

Meanwhile, we have Wyll being actively manipulated by Mizora. It's not safe for him to go no contact at that point. All he can do is bide his time, prepare, and wait for an opportunity to escape.

Karlach has been in survival mode for so long that now that she's out, she needs a moment to feel alive. She needs to be indulgent and a bit impulsive and prioritize her own enjoyment because she hasn't gotten to throughout her abuse. She's also trying to no-contact Zariel to the best of her abilities.

Lae'zel needs to stand strong against Vlaakith. She knows her people may not stand with her in the moment, and she can't cut them all out because she's a champion for them against the abuse they're actively suffering as well. She needs to see Vlaakith punished to the full extent the Githyanki are capable of.

But then there's Gale. He can't no-contact Mystra, and he can't ever hope to get justice for what she did to him. Like it or not, he's stuck having to maintain a relationship with her. But he can establish boundaries. He can keep the relationship professional and polite and that's it. He can move on, reforge the old bonds Mystra cut, or form new ones.

And Astarion needs catharsis to truly move on. He's hurting, and he's hurt for what Cazador did to him, and it makes him angry. And while Astarion isn't the most outwardly altruistic of the bunch, he does recognize that he isn't Cazador's only victim and there will be more victims if he isn't stopped. His need for catharsis isn't just for his own healing, it's to stop someone who will hurt someone else.

EDIT:

I wanted to add that the game definitely reflects that there's no such thing as good victimhood nor is there such a thing as good recovery. People are going to recover on their own time. Sometimes that means cutting the people who hurt them out of their lives. Sometimes they can't and the only path forward is to redefine that relationship and establish boundaries with those who hurt them. Sometimes the only way to escape the violence done to them is through violence.

[lurkingshan]

I've been thinking a lot about the depictions of generational trauma and parental accountability being presented in dramas lately. Since you've watched way more than me, especially outside of BLs, what are some shows that present or include parental accountability?

This is such a good question and one I have been thinking about a lot since Last Twilight episode 10 aired. Westerners often assume that because of Asian cultural norms around filial piety, parental authority, and respect for elders, we can never expect satisfying parental accountability in our Asian drama narratives. But that's not true! It's been done and done well. It’s because these values are so deeply embedded in most Asian cultures that Asian creators are the best positioned to speak on the harms they can cause, and will often embed these themes in their work.

Now, there is an important distinction to make here: the difference between what characters do, and what the story communicates. A character may choose to abide by honoring their parents at all costs, but the story can still communicate how harmful that is. A character may never apologize for something they have done wrong, but the story can still make it clear they have fucked up and hold them accountable for that via tangible consequences. Here are a few examples from bl to illustrate what I mean, and the different ways this can show up in dramas.

Bad Buddy

One of the most obvious examples of parental accountability in genre, and also a pretty full metal version of it. This entire story is about the damage Ming and Dissaya did their sons with their decades-long feud and insistence on pushing that trauma down on their children, and we got some extremely cathartic scenes of Pat and Pran telling their parents exactly what they thought about that. Of course, even though they raged at their parents, they never got the apologies they deserved (and likely never will) and still had to hide their relationship to appease their parents going forward. But that doesn't mean there was no accountability here. The entire narrative held these parents accountable by showing us how they were harming their sons, forcing them to reckon with it, and ultimately showing them settling into a form of resigned acceptance.

Until We Meet Again

This entire show is about Korn and In's reincarnated souls healing from the trauma of their tragic ending, which was brought upon by the familial pressure and rejection they experienced from their fathers. We not only saw Dean and Pharm work through this trauma and forge new bonds with family members, we saw the direct aftermath of their first deaths, the despair and regret their families felt, and the ceremony that tied their souls together as a result. It's big karmic accountability on a grand scale, and the show never flinched from letting us see exactly how much harm was caused by these parents, or how the tenets of filial piety resulted in Korn's despair that he couldn't be what his father wanted. Even more crucially, we were shown, not just told, the counterpoint impact of good parenting, when Dean and Pharm were accepted by their families in their second life.

Blueming

A rare example of an Asian parent being called to the carpet, feeling the wrongness of their actions, and actually apologizing for it. This does in fact happen in drama! Si Won's mom raised him to hate himself, to be ashamed of his body, to fake his way through life so people would like him, and boy did it do a lot of damage. The story showed us how this affected Si Won and his relationships deeply, and brought him to the point where it finally burst out of him. And his mom, to her credit, was dismayed to understand what she had done to her son. This show also gets bonus points for Da Un standing up to his own mother after she interferes in the film contest.

Bed Friend

Uea's mother's sins against him are numerous, and I will not go into them all in detail to spare my own sanity. She is an abusive parent so horrific that she can never be forgiven, and doesn't need to be. An apology from her would be utterly meaningless. Instead, the drama holds her to account via showing us what she's done to Uea and the work he has to do to heal from the trauma she caused, and ultimately having her son cut her out of his life. It's the biggest consequence she can ever face for her choices and that Uea finds the courage to do it is the story's biggest triumph.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

On the subtler end of the scale, we have our beloved KNT, which weaves parental accountability through its story in the long, slow journey for Shiro's mother to accept who he is and the partner he has chosen in life. What I love most about this particular depiction is that it's not at all linear in nature. We see her make strides by finally acknowledging Kenji and inviting him to her home, and then backtrack by rescinding the offer due to her own discomfort, and then include him in her family planning to ensure he will be cared for after her death. She’s homophobic and traditional, but she loves her son and sees how much happier he is with Kenji in his life. She is constantly reckoning with that tension. And Shiro and Kenji, being of an older generation themselves, don't hold it against her, even as the show makes sure we understand how much it hurts them. They are not okay with it, but they do understand why she's like this, so they take what she can give and forgive the rest. It's a really touching portrayal of this kind of impasse in a family.

Moonlight Chicken

There are several different vectors of parental accountability in MLC. There is Heart confronting his parents over their neglect and abuse and finally demanding to be treated with dignity. There is Li Ming directly calling out his mother for how her life choices have affected him. And there is Li Ming and his surrogate dad, Jim, working out their issues so that they can communicate better, and so that Jim can learn to stop pushing his own fears and anxiety down onto the next generation. All of it handled with deftness, with care, and with clear purpose to examine the ways intergenerational trauma can perpetuate in the absence of accountability.

[links-crosses-multiverse]

Welcome to my Whumptober Prompt challenge! I know it's a day to late but I hope you still like it. I've put together a unique set of prompts for anyone who loves diving into the emotional intensity of angst, hurt/comfort, and character-driven storytelling. These prompts are designed to explore a variety of scenarios where characters are pushed to their limits—whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological.

1. A Chain of Sorrow – When one of the heroes falls in battle, the group struggles to carry on.

2. Silent Nights, Heavy Hearts – The heroes take shelter, but memories of their past haunt them.

3. Lost in Time – Wild accidentally triggers a time rift, sending the heroes into an alternate timeline.

4. A Hero’s Funeral – After one of the group sacrifices himself, the heroes give him a proper send-off.

5. Echoes of the Past – Each hero must confront the ghosts of their past lives.

6. Shelter from the Storm – Forced to take refuge, the heroes share stories of home and family.

7. The Last Breath of Twilight – Twilight faces a moment of reckoning with Midna.

8. Unspoken Words – Warriors and Time finally confront the tension between them.

9. A Cup of Peace – A rare peaceful morning as the heroes bond over breakfast.

10. Resting Place – Four leads the group to an ancient ruin that holds an unexpected surprise.

11. Not All Heroes Return – Legend goes missing after a battle, and the group fears the worst.

12. Home is a Battlefield – The heroes encounter familiar enemies, but this time, they're fighting to protect each other.

13. Stars Above, Darkness Below – Wind is haunted by memories of the Great Sea as the group travels through dark waters.

14. Scars We Don't Speak Of – Each hero reveals the price they paid to become a legend.

15. A Hero’s Resolve – Sky steps up to make a hard decision, one that could cost him everything.

16. When the Light Fades – Time faces a foe too powerful to defeat, and it’s up to the others to save him.

17. Midnight Shadows – Twilight is trapped in the Twilight Realm and must rely on the others to pull him out.

18. Bonds Forged in Flame – A dangerous fire forces the heroes to work together in new ways.

19. The Wolf's Lament – Twilight is injured in battle and the Chain must carry on without him.

20. In the Hands of Fate – The heroes are separated, each facing their own trials alone.

21. Lullaby of the Lost – Wind remembers Aryll and his childhood on Outset Island.

22. Broken, But Not Beaten – After a devastating defeat, the heroes regroup, determined to fight on.

23. A Hero’s Burden – Time carries the weight of being a leader, but it starts to crack him.

24. The Heart of Courage – Four must choose between his friends and his destiny as a hero.

25. Tears in the Rain – Hyrule is forced to face his past as a healer, where not everyone could be saved.

26. Shattered Shields – In a fierce battle, the group’s defenses break, and a beloved hero falls.

27. Rest for the Weary – The group finds an unexpected haven, giving them a moment of solace and vulnerability.

28. Falling Stars, Broken Hearts – Sky watches as Fi fades away once again.

29. Of Wolves and Heroes, the Blood Moon - Twilight’s dual identity as a wolf causes friction within the group, because of the blood moon.

30. Where the Wildflowers Bloom – Wild takes the group to a special place in Hyrule where he finds peace.

31. The Last Legend – When all hope seems lost, Legend, reminds them why they fight.

Feel free to join in and create alongside me! Whether you enjoy writing, drawing, or any other form of creative expression, these prompts are open for everyone to interpret and bring to life. Let’s share in the drama, pain, and healing together!