#we havent spoken to each other since

[transgenderprototype]

I swear there wqs something wrong with 15 y/o me

[juniestar]

I caught up w an old friend like a friend ive known 12 yrs and I’m sooo hyped about it bc when we were teens I wanted to be friends w him and a billion other people but i never tried bc i was like if friendship is meant to be itll be but now im reaching out and he’s gonna mail me a copy of his comic and we’re gonna text and call on occasion

[torosdottir]

*listens to radical face for half an hour* oh man maybe i should get back in contact w my brother

[orchita]

.

[semi-jpg]

at the point in my life where i cant stop thinking abt the people i used to know and wondering if i should text them

[zeesturniolo]

car date 🤍

creds to gif owner ^!

summary: you and matt go on a date! 🤍

disclaimers: none! (if you find any let me know!)

*not proof read*

—

you were currently in your apartment watching your favorite movie, its been your favorite since you were little and you never get sick of it. right before your favorite part, you get a phone call. you’re clearly annoyed, but you pause the tv anyways in case its something important.

you look to the side of your bed where your phone sat, and picked it up to see who it was. it was matt, your boyfriend of 6 months now. you swipe the answer button and hold your phone to where he can see the top of your forehead on the facetime call.

“hi matt!” you said excitedly, even if you were annoyed about your movie, you havent spoken to him all day, so you were quite excited.

“hey baby, i was wondering if you were tryna go on a car ride with me? im bored as fuck.”

“depends, are you gonna get me food?”

“duh, we can get wingstop.”

“okay then yes.”

“pick you up in 10?”

“sure! ill see u then.”

you guys said your goodbyes and i love you’s, and then ended the call. you turned your tv off and decided yo go get ready now instead of watching the rest of the movie, knowing matt, he’s already in his car on the way there.

you decided to go with something simple, flared leggings and one of his your hoodies. you brushed your hair and then grabbed your purse and phone.

after about 3 minutes, you get a text from matt letting you know he’s outside. you liked the message and walked out of your door, locking it behind you and running outside to the van.

“hello gorgeous, how was your day?” matt said as you closer the car door and began to fasten your seatbelt. “it wasn’t bad, i did a little bit of cleaning here and there, then i just sat around all day.”

you continued to rant about what you did all day as matt silently listened and nodded as he drove. you shut your mouth as he pulls up to the wingstoo drive thru and orders his food, then asks what you want.

you told him your order, then he pulled up to the window and paid. you held the bag of food as he drove into one of the parking lots him and his brothers use to film.

you guys ate in silence and just comfortably enjoyed each others presence. once you were done, he strikes up a conversation.

“have you ever thought of starting your own youtube channel?” he asks looking at you.

“i mean yeah a couple of times, but not anytime soon. i think im okay with just being a guest on your channel.”

“hm, i was just wondering. i think it would be cool if you did.”

“i agree, it sound fun, but im in school so i think i wanna focus on that.”

“fair. maybe you and me should film alone and then i can post it on my personal channel?”

“yeah that sounds fun. im down for that.”

you finished the conversation off and the two of you stared at each other for a couple of seconds, before matt, broke the silence.

“i love you baby.”

“i love you too matthew.”

—

hope yall like it !! 🩵

[scribbledkingdomstuck]

How intriguing! Jake! Lord jake? Hey, what are YOUR thoughts on Prince Dirk? :3

JAKE: We… well, we havent spoken in quite some time! Things have changed phenomenally since we last saw each other.

JAKE: Ive gotten far better at fighting since!

JAKE: (I wish things could go back. These palace halls make my very skin itch.)

[thenightfolknetwork]

im worried i might have ruined my friendship with my best friend?? we've known each other since we were little and we've always been close, when i got turned he was the first person i told and he's been SO supportive. he's a member of the community (though he wasnt turned, he was born into his genus) and he introduced me to all his creature friends and really made me feel welcome.

but then, here's the thing. we were hanging out the other night and i guess one thing led to another and i kind of ended up…. feeding on him. he asked me to!! he was really into it and so was i... at the time.

but the next morning…. idk it was just weird. everything was so awkward. we havent spoken about it since and i dont know what i should do. i dont mind if he doesn't want to do it again - it was fun, but not fun enough to ruin a friendship over. only now im worried we might have ruined the friendship already… what should i do??

I think you may be jumping the gun here rather, my dear. I don't see anything in your letter to suggest that you've already ruined the friendship. This is certainly a complicated and delicate situation, and you will need to navigate it with kindness, honesty and respect. But it is navigable, and I have every faith in your ability to find a way through.

Feeding on another person is naturally a very intimate experience. This is especially true when one feeds for pleasure rather than need, as seems to have been the case here.

But intimacy is a part of friendship. Who you speak to about this problem or that, who you share this secret with, who you hug upon meeting and who you kiss on the cheek, whether or not you feel comfortable sharing a room or a bed – these are all questions of intimacy, and are an ordinary part of any friendship.

The details of this situation are, of course, different. The physical intimacy of direct feeding is compounded by the emotional intimacy of being so open about your liminal nature, all mixed up with the profound importance this friendship has for you. But the basic steps are the same.

Take some time to reflect on your own feelings. Give yourself permission to be entirely honest. It's alright that you enjoyed yourself. It's alright if you'd like to feed on your friend again. And it's alright if you don't! There are no correct answers here – only honest ones.

Once you're clear about what you want, you need to talk with your friend. Arrange a time to meet somewhere that you'll both feel comfortable, and let him know what you want to talk about. This isn't the sort of conversation you want to spring on someone without warning.

From there, you need to listen carefully and work together to find a way through. It may be an awkward conversation, but better one awkward conversation than letting your silence swallow this friendship entire.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for hooking up with someone who recently went through a breakup?

context: we're all 25 years old. I started flirting with Perry after they told me that, six weeks or so prior, they broke up with their monog partner of 2 years (Ted) who they still lived with at the time (in different rooms with several other roommates).

perry and i went on a date, it was great and nothing happened between us besides some cuddling, then i made it clear i wanted to hook up, which we did about three weeks later.

we are all in community together (same circles), so it was going to be a bit messy anyhow. plus, the three of us all have a mutual good friend (Dana, who doesn't want to be in the middle). i ended up being the first to tell Dana that Perry and i hooked up, before ted knew. i left it up to perry to tell ted.

perry didnt tell ted until about a week after we hooked up, just before new years (which we all planned to go to the same event). on new years, i drove perry, ted, and teds friend downtown since we all live close. ted and their friend ended up leaving before perry or i noticed, and said they would take the train home. perry and i were not being visibly affectionate aside from chatting with each other. perry moved out the next day, and the two agreed not to speak for a while.

this is where im like ?????, so i texted Dana asking if she wanted to hang out this weekend, and she just said she's going to Teds birthday party, nothing else. I responded that i was excited for that, because i love birthdays. I ended up missing Dana's birthday due to tire problems a few weeks earlier, which was maybe for the best because Ted asked Perry not to go to Dana's party and that they're not feeling great about being around either of us right now.

i havent spoken to Ted since this happened, and we were not close before this, just friendly with each other. i DID match with them on feeld just after hooking up with perry, mostly bc i always try to match with people i know irl, not bc i was trying to smash (that is way too messy for me). i told perry this and they were like "i can speed up telling ted" and i said "no dont do that for me" because i did not want to aforementioned too messy situation.

So, Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[demontonic]

Anakin Skywalker - Old Friends

AOTC Anakin x fem reader

angst & fluff

Word Count: 1648

There he was walking beside Obi-Wan, he was skilled, nice, dedicated, clumsy, quiet, shy when he wasnt in a match. His light hair shimmered in the sunlight coming through the giant windows of the corridor, his tanned honey skin glowing as it always did. His figure was slim, tall, the very definition of lanky but he was fast and agile. The brown robes he wore only complimented his earth toned aura, the bright smile he always had was a sight for sore eyes. You’d known him since you were younglings, immediately taking interest when he first arrived. Over the years of course you’d distanced yourself, Master Windu could be quite strict and he was very cautious when it came to your relationship with the chosen one. Even now as he walked opposite of you in this hallway, your breathing became faint as you tried your hardest to avoid his gaze but-

“Excuse me master- Y/N, I havent spoken to you in ages I-“

“Anakin, well we have been training closely with our respected masters, I can see Obi-Wan has been doing a fine job. I hear nothing but good news for you, I shouldn’t expect anything else from the chosen one should I?” You were formal, something you and Anakin had never been with each other even in front of your masters. Obi-Wan seemed to be put off by your tone, walking a distance away and pretending to fidget with his commlink.

“I suppose so, how have you been since you’ve already heard of our missions.” His voice was quiet, softer than before like he lost the excitement he once held.

“I’m expected to become a knight soon, Master Windu has been testing me with more difficult missions… I hope it pays off.” Your voice trailed off towards the end, it felt wrong to speak to him like this, you’d long closed yourself off from his force connections. This interaction only drove a deeper stake between you two, it broke your heart but it hurt him tenfold. His head dropped, his eyes falling to the tiles beneath his feet.

“I’m sure it will.” With that he walked away, returning to his master’s side without sparring a second glance. You stood there, watching as they disappeared around the corner before the weight of reality fell onto your shoulders. The breath you seemed to be holding was released in a hushed sob, your hand covering your mouth swiftly. Being cold towards the only real friend you had, the only man you’d loved. Nothing could’ve began to fill the void that began to eat away at your very soul. Some nights, before you’d begun your distance, you’d feel each other’s force signatures. Each time either of you reached out it was warm, comfort, safe, because you’d done it a connection was formed. You could feel when he was too stressed, or in trouble, frightened, even sad. That was when you’d reach out, trying to console him. If he was in battle you’d be tense as he fought, too worried about his safety like he couldn’t hold his own. You missed it, yearned for it, but you knew it was for the better, for both of you. Attachments were forbidden and of all people he was the chosen one, he was to bring balance to the force and you wouldn’t live with yourself if he left the order for you.

𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔☽◯☾𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔

A month later you’d been in a match, you tried making peace and taking down the wall you put up. Though it might’ve been useless since you’re sure he had no intention of trying to talk with you after the last interaction. You were getting the upper hand, which is why you couldn’t understand why you felt such rage, and fear. You gone for a strike but you stopped, dropping your saber and falling to the floor. A pain in your arm, so sharp it felt like it’d been cut clean off. You began hyperventilating thinking the padawan you were up against had accidentally severed your arm in the midst of the match. Next thing you knew you were waking up in a meditation room, laying down on the plush floor in the pitch black. At first you thought you were alone but you should’ve known better.

“What was that?” Windu asked sternly, he’d anticipated your answer hoping it wouldn’t be the one he feared. He’d done all that he could do to stop it, Windu had assumed it was long snuffed out.

“What are you speaking of mast-“

“Was it Anakin?”

“The padawan- he must’ve grazed my arm he-“

“You came out unscathed, the padawan on the other hand was a little roughed up. So tell me the truth, has your connection with the chosen one opened again?” You froze, your fingers running over your left arm lightly feeling the soft untouched skin. It was then you’d realized there was no way of getting out of this.

“Master Windu I promise-“

“Anakin and Obi-Wan came in a while after you had that melt down. Anakin happened to return with a missing limb, his left arm to be exact. Luckily he had it replaced with a cybernetic arm and no further damage was retained.” You’d sat up in a panic, breath picking up once more at the news being relayed to you. He’d never been hurt so badly before, he was too good, too quick, how could you let this happen?

“I had no idea that would happen, I’d made sure it was closed off. I’ve been avoiding talking to him, training with him Master you have to believe-“

“I do, Y/N the force works with purpose, it connects all living things which is why we can feel when there is a major loss. I will not tell the council about this because there must be some reason you two are tied so closely.” You finally stood to your feet, too panicked to even try to reach him. You straighten your robes, and grabbed your cloak before looking to your master. He heaved a heavy sigh before nodding, getting into a relaxed position to resume meditating. You on the other hand ran towards the medical ward letting the force guide you to your blonde boy. Coming to a stop your breath slowed, you pulled a curtain back seeing Anakin surrounded by droids adjusting his robotic arm. His body visibly tensed as you stood there just taking in his presence trying to think of something to say.

“Ana-“

“I know you stopped blocking me out… I lnew the second I felt you again. At first I thought maybe it was because you were dreaming about me, but when it never closed off again I knew you did it purposely.” Blue tired eyes bored into your soul, your eyes brimmed with tears at his words. You stepped further into the confined space, closing the curtain behind you before sitting next to him.

“I never wanted to shut you out Ani, master Windu demanded it. After all you being the chosen one, what would we have done if they wanted us out of the order for forming an attachment. When we talked in the corridor that one day I need you to know I felt horrible, I just wanted to ensure our futures as Jedi Knights.” Your voice was faint, it sounded drained and defeated but he just watched you with the softest eyes. He’d known you better than even your master did, Anakin knew you were being entirely truthful.

“Saving the galaxy is meaningless if it means I’d have to live a lifetime without you. Y/N you mean more to me than you could ever know, the day you closed me out you took my heart with you.” His words were true, but you had been set on him falling for senator Amidala. You wanted to swoon, to fall deep into his baby blue eyes and never come up for air. However you are a jealous being, sour at the fact Amidala had been touchy with him. You wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for you tapping into his thoughts every so often when he went on this last mission.

“Why are you thinking about Padame?”

“Why were you thinking about Padame?”

“Are you jealous? Of the senator?”

“I’d thought I was dreaming but I was watching everything happen, in the arena. She was so close to you.” Your cheeks were red, burning with embarrassment and jealousy as you crossed your arms over your chest. Normally you would never admit to feeling this way, especially since your relationship had always been defined as an attachment and nothing more. Truthfully you had no right feeling so territorial over him, but he was your blondie. Padame was nice, personally you had nothing against her, the values she shared were the same as yours. Anakin however is where you drew the line, which she had crossed even if unintentionally.

“So you are jealous, all this time you’ve been the one to stay away from me and now look at you. I don’t want Amidala, she was a target, a job, a mission, nothing more my love.” He stood, the droids returning to their respective stations. Anakin took a few seconds to move his new hand in the way he wanted to. Now he pulled your arms from your chest, holding them gently as he leaned in close.

“Love?”

“My love, you are the only person I could ever want, the only thing in the universe I’d ever ask for. Accept my words for truth darling, feel the honesty in my soul you know I can’t lie to you.” He placed your hands flat against his chest, you felt his heart beat steadily. Most of all you sensed no malice in his force signature, it was the same warm, gentle, comforting feeling, it was home.

Okay this was supposed to be short but i got waaay too into it i mean honestly forbidden love is so awesome i dont CARE! i hope you liked it! heres my masterlist if you wanna check that out!

[rassicas]

wait tell us abt your ocs!! i’m kind of new to your following and i’d love to know more about them!!!!!

my two main splatoon OCs are Cress Rassica and Verna Rassica, two inkling brothers with a complicated relationship. they plague my mind at every waking moment

(do not ship them together else i will skin you alive.)

Cress is overall a nice, trustworthy and reliable guy, a little weird though. can be a bit gullible at times too. hes not too shy, but just prefers to keep to himself. gives off an aura of awkwardness, except when turfing, where he becomes more aloof, even aggro. can hold a grudge. Verna is stubborn, impatient, competitive, has a drinking problem, and suffers from stress induced headaches. hes so full of stress, thanks grizzco. emotionally stunted, expresses mostly through varying degrees of anger. has insane libido i hate him. i think he needs to be held. A summary of what their whole deal is: following the untimely death of their mom, and their father long out of the picture, 13-year-old cress moves in with his older brother verna, who had been living on his own for some years. with the huge age difference between them, they'd never been too close. as teenage inklings tend to do, cress gets into turfing for fun... and as an outlet for his squid instincts and other things going on in his mind. Meanwhile, verna is at a nebulous point in his life, and suddenly losing his mom and having to take care of his brother has been making things trickier. going from shitty job to shitty job, tries going to college for a semester and gives that up, back to more shitty jobs...he deals with it all by staying inebriated. he eventually lands a sketchy but well paying job at a place we now know as grizzco industries. after a traumatic workplace incident that verna is barred from discussing (and its not like he knows how to manage his feelings anyway, and doesnt want to get his little brother involved), verna and cress's relationship grows more strenuous...verna drinks more, lashes out more, closes himself more...after years of tension, cress grows fed up, and even a bit fearful of verna, and moves out. cress moves onto living a bit more peacefully, dreaming of opening up his own little tailoring shop. verna continues working at grizzco, gradually getting dragged into a seedy world of business and crime in the underbelly of inkadia... the two havent spoken to each other for some years, and thats been the current state of their relationship. but surely, their paths will cross again.... when more cool plot stuff happens that i havent fleshed out properly yet<3

i've been thinking a lot about revising their toyhouse pages since its been a good while...will share that here when i do

[wildshona]

Making Contact

About a week after I was told that Richard's friends had tracked down Amelia she phoned. It was a long conversation after we had spent about an hour sobbing in each others ears. I mean my sis and i had had no contact for 3 years and so much had happened. we have spoken lots of times since butt i bet we still havent told one another everything.

one thing i remember is how i sobbed AFTER the call with all the guilt i felt. i had to get an emergency appointment with my therapist.

of course dad went off the roof when i ran away. i had fucked up whatever plans he had and one thing about my dad was he didnt like not getting his way and he certainly didnt like an escapee from his carefully crafted system of the roles assigned to my sister and me.

my dad had a view - or excuse - that there were basically two types of women - wives and whores. A good wife was obedient, dressed demurely to the instructions of her man, was a good homemaker, had babies and was satisfied with vanilla sex and maybe the occasional blowjob. A whore was obedient and dressed as her master told her, could stand in on domestic things if the wife was tired and took any type of sex that the man wanted - however humiliating, degrading, rough or whatever. Oh yeah she was a resource for friends as well cos she didnt have any worth.

dad had it all sorted. Amelia was clearly a good wife so I clearly was, well you can guess.

the trouble was when i ran away he was a whore short. Amelia said he was distracted from that when the first moved to the US cos he had a new community to fit in to and a new job to get up to speed on. so while he was buying a gun, joining an evangelical church, and getting in with the work hierarchy it was fine especially as Amelia was getting bigger and bigger with the soon to be Zoe.

but then things started to change. dad started to buy her the sort of underwear that he used to buy for me. not he white or pink cotton but the black or red lacy. and he suggested that she started to wear stockings - only round the house of course. then he bought her toys. not dildoes or vibes. butt plugs. Amelia had nver had anything up her butt - that had been my job. she did it of course - she was a good girl and a good wife. and a good wife and a good girl does what her man tells her without discussion or complaint. she knew it was only a matter of time before it was something else and not just a plug.

she was so shocked about my time on the streets and other things that had happened tp me. she did say that i wouldn;t have had too put up with that if i had only stayed obedient. so it was sort of my fault. well i have always accepted that all that was aconsequnce of me running away but that was ok. my decision - my outcomes.

but i now had this massive guilt that Amelia had taken on some of the whore role for which she was untrained and unprepared. i should say that didnt happen til after Zoe was born but stll. i mean she wasn't supposed to suffer cos of me. but she did. we love one another so she didnt say it was my fault tho maybe we will have some sort of conversation about that one day.

at that time we were happy to be in contact again and could tell one another how much we loved one another. tho she still didnt understand how i couldnt love daddy. I mean Jesus...she still didn't get it. She went to church on Sundays and listened while the preacher talked about jezebels and boys who wanted to be girls and the threats of white women having black babies and then went home and did what her man told her to do even tho now she was being told to be a jezebel - well once the lunch was cooked anyway.

i don't know what we are going to do with her.

[notedchampagne]

just broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years and we havent spoken/ texted since. we've obv been in each others lives for,,, a while..,, and while most of our friends stayed separate there's obv some overlap.. i feel super guilty talking about her at all in a negative way to friends/ family because they know her and love her too but im struggling on processing everything...

i still havent told most of my close friends because im waiting to do it in person for some reason.. advice??? im trying not to just get drunk and cry about it and ruin everyone's night when i end up seeing people irl but at the same time i still havent even cried once and its been almost a week.... help

i think the biggest priority here is scheduling you know? im assuming you want to do it in person so you dont have to go through the barrier of text to get your feelings out but also telling your close friends about this would change their relationships with you both as well. the crazy thing is that everyone will always affect everyone forever, and you cant get close to someone without also getting the collateral of your worlds shifting next to each other. isnt that crazy. i think its crazy. having a messy time sucks but its also good to embrace it otherwise wed all start crumpling in the middle of the street

final notes: watch as many sad movies as you can wring yourself out as much as possible asap

[yokakaiju]

doro modern(?) au

SPOILER WARNING + LONG POST BELOW CUT

i am so tired while writing this, so apologies if some of it doesnt make sense bleh.. i will happily answer any and all questions to the best of my ability tho!!

okay so ngl... it's really not that different from canon i think? i really don't know much abt my own damn au atm cause i mostly think of it during work and for some reason i literally NEVER write anything down?? idk why???

ALSO TO PREFACE!!! DESPITE HAVING READ DORO IN FULL ABT 4 TIMES NOW AND AM GOING ON A FULL YEAR OF HYPERFIXATION HERE SOON I HAVENT BRUSHED UP ON THE LAST 60-70 CHAPTERS IN A MINUTE SO SORRY IF I MAKE A STUPID MISTAKE!!!

this shit is all 100% subject to change later btw:

• genuinely just abt everything that took place in doro takes place in the past during this au, but not in the same way or with the same characters. ik some stuff 100% wouldnt make sense because of this, BUT BLEHH ILL FIGURE IT OUT LATERR!!! literally jist like.. remove everything involving aikawa and risu and replace it with violent social unrest or smth idk yet...

• ne way, this takes place 100 years after the kaiman holey fight, but in this au it wasnt our kaiman

• the sorcerer and human world have been permanately sealed off from each other since hole fight

• humans at this point dont necessarily believe sorcerers even exist anymore due to this, but the older generations (the few people who live to be like 80-100+) are still somewhat afraid of them and think that some may still be in hole (they are)

• abt hole and this is gonna need a lot of reworking, but like.. idk. basically some humans worship hole as a modern god, taking everything that happrned as absolute truth and churches sprung up around holey, worshiping large statues made of his bones and stuff. the statues do still work as they did in base doro, but they arent as widespread anymore? theyre way more popular with older people and thr newly religous folk, but most people see them as some sort of novelty at this point and they arent widely owned outside of churches and hospitals anymore

• the refuse lake also is back kinda? but its mostly a normal lake now, but the water is still extremely tar like in some parts so its still gated off

• in the socerer world, all information regarding humans and the hole have been banned from being spoken about or learned by the general public. personal doors are also prohibited to be used/learned to be used and anyone who CAN use them that uses them unsanctioned will face capitol punishment or smth. really only the devils and en family know abt hole and shit (theres more people of course, but these are details idk yet)

• n e way, in modern era nikaido and aikawa (sigh we will get to him last...) work together at the hungry bug still

• nikaidos story is literally almost exactly the same. she is still being pseudo hunted by the en family because they got word of a time traveling socerer like howveer long ago and are trying to hunt her down in secret (they dont know its her directly tho)

• kasukabe/haze is still just chillin tho. he is nearly unchanged, still wrote books on socerers (however they were written more historically for a while, then eventually he met haru and they became research/science based) snd took ai as an appretenice, but his work outside of human medicine is thought of as crackpot conspiricy talk or entirely fictional. him and haru are stil married/divorced, haru is also atill a devil and he still has a skin door to the sorcerer world

• ive had some ideas abt shin, mostly that his mom was killed alongside his dad after someone tipped off the  militia that there was somehow still sorcerers in the hole. they investigated their home for a bit and caught her using a door, so they raided the home and slaughted his family in front of him. from there shins story doesnt change much at all rn tbh

• the en family is still highly regarded and very opressive in the socerer world. they dont destroy schools anymore because duh no black powder, but they (with some devil influenece as well) heavily regulate what is taught. resistence against the en family, namely trying to learn about doors and hole, are cruely punished to show they arent fucking around, despite them still having acess to the hole and knowing (somewhat) the true events of what lead to them being separated

• i havent put much thought into the fate of the cross eyes in this au yet, but ive had some ideas? they arent the cross eyes (yet) but, they (our commanders + natsuki and risu) were low ranking memebers who are part of a resistance against the en family that attempts to fight their opression/censorship of history and some higher ups (not the commanders rn) are even trying to figure out how to make a door to the hole or smth

• this is abt all i have rn (im also super tired writing this ugh), so sigh... aikawa time i suppose... this part is gonna be long and confusing and 99% of everything ive talked abt so far was stemed from this, so heres a barely tldr tldr becase im probably making a seperate post when im not so tired. okay TLDR: ai was always disallusioned with being a human becauee his grandpa told him about sorcerers and magic and shit, so he fully bought into hazes entire catalouge of books taking thrm as gospel. eventually he meets haze and works under him, getting close enough to see some of his studies on sorcerer corpses. due to the corpses having smoke/black powder and were killed with hatred for their fellow sorcerers (they were killed by the en family), it starts to slowly affect ais young brain and the seed of a new hole have been planted blah blah, anyway he starts having horrific nightmares from the pov of hole from over a century ago and starts hearing shit cause hes already really mentally unwell. pretyu much from here it goes thr same as base doro for rn. he begs haze to help him become a sorcerer, he has all his plans snd shit tk make it work with the "fresh corpses" (either murders or bodies provided by haru) haze has access to, but haze refuses. ai just gets worse as time goes on, but him being a little emo freak he never actually vocalizes it, but as per cannon he decided to just force hazes hand. one night haze and ai were illegally hunting for potential relics of hole or the events surrounding that around the older parts of the refuse lake whrn ai ended up throwing himself into the tar. however instead of throwing himself in the refuse lake cause he needs a corpse he was compelled by hallucinations or smth to throw himself in. haze saves him and ends up doing the surgery om him blah blah literally its not that different from here, ai still "dies" and is buried he was also made of the 9(?) corpses so hes till got all his heads ans shit. when he rises this time tho instead of going to the sorcerer world he goes to haze again immediatly and begs him not to tell anyone. from here on haze hides him ot smth since he looks so different now no ones gonna recognize him or whatevs

this aint a fuckin tldr whoops. anyway uh.. ill make a seperate post abt aikawa/kai/EVERYONE ELSE IN THERE later cause i fell asleep twice writing that

please ask questions if you have any!! i will work on this more as time goes on i imagine and ill try to start actually writing ny ideas down now

[rexregistries]

im quitting smut & everything nsfw!!

like straight up, cold-turkey, quitting. so far, we're 20 hours in.

heres why

this is gonna get REALLLL personal, buckle in.

i know not many ppl will see this, but its nice to just get it out.

tw: online sexual grooming and me being a minor thru it all

basically, im gonna talk abt how this all started (i should REALLY be doing homework right now, but i need to get it off my chest, and i only have 1 assignment left)

please bear with me! i only recently remembered all of this, and most of it is still terribly foggy, and hopefully shall stay that way.

when i was 8, i entered into a friendship with a 26-year-old man on roblox. we met thru our mutual like for percy jackson & the olympians, and i met him on a pjo role-playing game on roblox. mind you, roblox filter about 8 years ago was almost nonexistent.

the man, sam (found this out years into my "relationship" w him, to me he was cookie [cookieflame546]), asked my age when i first met him. i knew about stranger danger, obviously i did, i was born a girl. but i gave him my age anyway. so he knew.

this relationship lasted 5 years. 8 years old to 13 years old.

it started okay! we'd roleplay together, nothing too bad! the real trouble began when one of my ocs went into a romantic relationship with one of his ocs. he asked me if i knew anything about sex (the deed, the dirty, the devils tango, he called it something else that i dont remember) and i said no. obviously i didnt, i was 8.

he offered to teach me stuff, and i said ok. i trusted him for some reason. (NO GIRL STOPPP)

and boy. BOY, did he teach me stuff.

he bought a private server JUST to have sex w me. i'd go online, roleplay a little with my other online friends (who were my age, maybe 1 or 2 years older), and then once sam got on, i'd go to the private server. it happened maybe three times a week, i think? we'd roleplay w other people normally most of the time. i got discord at 10, because he asked me to.

when it started getting really, really, actually terrible (more than it already was) was when i got into the hamilton fandom in 2020. (also, since covid was happening, i was on everyday, so we interacted a lot more)

"kal, y is hamilton important?" well, when i got into hamilton, i got into wattpad. when i got into wattpad, i got into smut. when i got into smut, i got into actual fucking porn. at the ripe age of 12 years old.

i was so proud of my newfound knowledge. i wanted to show him all i knew. the sex got worse. he'd find ways to bypass the increasingly strong filter, and so would i.

the only thing im glad for is that he never sent nsfw pics, and neither did i.

it started tapering off once i got into 8th grade. i had more homework, i couldnt be on as much. we still had those little sessions, but they were more infrequent.

(BUT, in his place, came another friend. his name is alex. hes a year older than me, and we roleplayed almost exclusively sexually together. outside of roleplay, we would also message sexually on discord. some of got disturbing when i look back on it [he said he would find my address, climb into my window, and fuck me. bro i am 12 years old]

me and alex fell out of contact for a long time [something something i used to be really homophobic and our entire friendgroup, excluding him and i, was queer]. we say hi hello when hes online on discord, but we dont talk anymore)

slowly, me and sam went back into a regular friendship. we didn't talk for months, other than the occasional hi, hello, hru, im good. i stopped roleplaying, he didnt.

and then my brain decided "yooooo wait this was kinda bad.......im gonna make them forget it >:]"

and i did! i forgot about it. and then in freshmen year, at a winter camp for school, it all came rushing back. i cried about it to one of my closest friends (they moved, but we still talk. if ur seeing this joey [ur prob not], the second im 18 we r gonna see each other istg!!!!), and they told me to block him. i did.

i havent spoken to him since.

and then my brain did another little silly and said "im gonna make them forget it again!! >:]"

and guess what! i forgot about it again.

until i sat by myself, just having finished a brutal smut fic, crying, because, man, why the fuck was i like this? why cant i stop reading and watching and looking at this horrible shit? because it was ruining me! it really was! (it still is, but we're working on it)

andddddddd it came rushing back again.

finally, an answer! thats why im like this!

my most formative years were filled with sex! thats why im obsessed with it!

i know im partly to blame. i enabled myself by actively looking for nsfw. but im trying to fix that.

thank u for ur time :]

[unusual]

sorry if you’ve spoken on this subject before i’m new here. but how do you feek ab the portrayal of arcane viktor in comparison to his original lore?

Hi!! I actually havent spoken about this at all but i do have a lot to say about it so i smiled when i got this ask… youre giving me a platform to infodump. there’s a lot of meat to this so i put it under a read more just to save people’s dashes, no content warnings

I really prefer his portrayal in league of legends, I’m not sure how clear it is but I think a lot of how he’s portrayed in his mainline lore is just so delicious and smart and fun. there are a lot of elements there that line up to make what i would consider a very cohesive and super fascinating character, and the only issue i really have ultimately with leagueviktor is that they dont use him!!! he has great lore (a lot of which is delivered using jayce’s lore as a vehicle) and is such a good addition to the universe that its kind of a shame hes underutilized and not thought about very much (I feel the same way about jayce as well as their relationship together but that’s a whole other essay). I had hoped for a long time that this would end up changing and that arcane would really boost his and jayce’s popularity in a way that would lead to more content for them, but that isnt going to be the case now as they’re both being fully retconned and replaced with their arcane counterparts (😞). Regardless viktor and jayce are both really special characters to me and I’ll always prefer their league selves over arcane, they’re just so fun and crazy

For what it’s worth I do like arcane viktor. I feel like he’s misinterpreted and misunderstood more often than not which can be frustrating (because I feel like I “get” a lot of his thought processes and experiences so it can be awkward to see someone else assuming the worst or more commonly just treating him like a baby), but I think he’s really cute and loved him in s1. His voice + design are great especially! My gripes with arcane wrt viktor (and by association jayce) mostly come into play when we start talking about things like retcons and character changes — while viktor’s personality remains mostly unaltered, jayce’s was changed as well as the general dynamic of their original school-era relationship (which I prefer; for those unfamiliar think of league vs arcane as like friendly rivals who bicker a lot and have ideological conflicts and are kind of implied to be gay vs friends played straight but kind of homoerotic) and I feel like while it works in the context of the show I don’t like it so much that I want the original to be retconned in favor of it if that makes sense…? I think arcane is great as an au but I don’t think it should be used as the basis for the “new” league lore by any stretch of the imagination particularly since it started out as a tv adaptation of the 2015/16 lore with things cut out for time. I like viktor being ill + disabled, I know different people have different views of that but I feel like it’s an interesting motivation for his ideology and beliefs and probably the best change they could have made for him if they had to make one. IDK I’m just rambling on here but yeah I feel like I’ve never actually talked about that here and now I have… those are my thoughts jsut off the top of my head though. trust that i could go on for much longer.

tldr i like both league viktor and arcane viktor but as a full-fledged character i prefer league viktor and also i feel like its impossible to talk about viktor without talking about jayce and vice versa since they exist in tandem with each other. Viktor arcane is cute to me as an au, i dont think he should replace canon viktor. i do feel like arcane viktor has led to a lot of misunderstandings and misinterpretations of both him and league viktor which cant be helped at this stage but probably could have been avoided somehow early on.

Ultimately they’re way more like two different characters to me or two different versions of the same person (i.e. multiverse) than anything