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readerstories · 4 years ago

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Magic Fingers - Aaron Hotchner x male!reader

I got so many other ideas for fics with Aaron and male reader, this was just an excuse to write some “shorter” smut while I work on some longer fics. (AO3)

Warnings: smut, clothed sex

Wordcount: 2978

Summary: Working hard on a case you offer to give Hotch a massage, because the man is as stiff and tense as a block of wood. (And maybe you want to get your hands on him, but that’s neither here nor there).

The case had been hard, challenging, brutal, and difficult, which had caused the whole team to work on overdrive for the last few days with very little sleep. Which was why Hotch had ordered everyone back to the hotel to get some sleep, as none of you were going to get anywhere being as sleep deprived as you were.

He had tried to stay behind himself, but you had more or less dragged him back to a car while reminding him that even he was human and needed rest. Back at the hotel, in your shared room (because of course with your luck there wasn’t any single rooms left in the hotel for anyone in the team), you stretch before sitting down on your own bed, Hotch walking over to his.

You could see how tense he was, how much he needed to relax. Which was easier said then done when Hotch took as much responsibility as he did, always making sure everything possible was done to catch the unsub and save anyone who might get in harms way. Which was an admirable trait of his, but you could tell by his posture how stiff he had gotten over the last few days. The way he held himself spoke volumes to you, even though you knew he tried to shield it from the world and keep it to himself.

“Hotch?” He looks away from his jacket, the only item of his suit he has manged to force himself out of so far, while your jacket, shoes, and tie was long gone. You pat the edge of the bed next to where you are sitting, Hotch looks skeptical.

“Come on, you need to relax.”

“What does me sitting next to you have anything to do with that?”

“Let me give you a massage.” He raises a brow and you sigh, shifting so you’re kneeling on the bed instead.

“You’ve seen my resume, you know you I thought about going into massage therapy at one point.” Still, Hotch doesn’t move, so you know you have to do more to convince him.

“Remember when Reid had slept on his neck all wrong that one time after staying up way too late and I helped? Or when Morgan messed up his shoulder when going after an unsub and couldn’t sleep for days, and after a massage he finally could? It was the closest I’ve ever seen the man to weeping. Or when JJ was pregnant and hurting, but after letting me give her a massage she joked that if she didn’t love Will, and I wasn’t gay, she would have married me? Hotch, at this point I’ve given a massage to everyone on the team but you, so, get.”

You make a grabby motion with your hands. Hotch sigh, seeming to finally get how serious and stubborn you were being in that moment. He takes off his tie and shoes on the way over to the bed, but doesn’t do anything else, which makes everything a bit harder, but hey, you’ll take anything you’ll get. As Hotch sits down you’re greeted by the lovely opportunity to stare at his back without him noticing or caring too much, which would have been great, if you couldn’t tell how tense he was without even needing a single touch.

When you touch his shoulders he almost jumps, but he forces himself to calm down. Which doesn’t do much, because the instant your hands are on him you can tell it’s going to take a while and some effort to get him relax.

You slowly, ever so slowly start to move you hand, starting out gently at first to get a feeling for him. And ho boy, those are some serious knots if you’ve ever felt some. Your thumb barely brushes over one with some pressure and Hotch winces. You take a breath in trough your teeth, Hotch truly can’t be feeling any sort of pleasant right now, or really, ever you suppose.

“Hotch, if I really didn’t know any better, I would say your shoulders are made of wood with how stiff they are and how many knots I can feel.” Hotch grunts and starts to move like he’s about to stand up, but you drag him back down so he’s fully sitting again with your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh no, none of that, you’re not moving off this bed until all of them are gone and you can you know, actually be a little relaxed for once in your adult life.” Hotch scoffs, but doesn’t try to move again, which you count as a victory.

For the next, you don’t even know how long, your hands wander, squeeze, and press all over Hotch’s shoulders, loosing muscles and knots as good as you can while kneeling behind Hotch. Hotch is mostly quiet, only letting out sighs and the occasional grunt when an especially hard spot is made pliant.

When you’ve done as much as you can in this position you withdraw your hands, noting how Hotch is slumping slightly more forward now than he was when you started.

“Up the bed please, I can’t reach more like this.” Hotch turns so he can look at you over his shoulder.

“You’ve massaged my shoulders, what mor-”

“If your shoulders are any indication, you need a full body massage, so up on the bed please, front down.” You stare down Hotch, not breaking eye contact for one second. You’ve decided that he needs that massage, even if you have to tackle him to the bed to give it to him. He seems to have sensed this as he sighs, and above all miracles, does as you asked of him. He’s on his front, arms tucked under his head to use as a pillow, you now kneeling next to one hip.

Pleased with yourself, you get to work. You start where you left off from before, somewhere in the middle of his back. The knots there aren’t as bad as his shoulders, you suppose Hotch takes ‘bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders’ literally sometimes, but still you do your best to let your hands work over them until they are smoothed out and the muscles beneath your palms relax.

Over time your hands move downwards, and at some point right above the waist of his pants and his belt, your hands on either hip, they brush a particular point or points which make Hotch draw in a breath. Your hands pause before you speak.

“Sorry, you ticklish there?”

“A little.” Hotch reluctantly admits, mostly speaking at the wall he has been staring at for the last few minutes.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You say as you file that little nugget of info away in a part of your brain you’ve dedicated to Hotch. You make sure to avoid that spot when your hands starts up again, instead moving to his lower back. There you find a knot truly worth your skilled hands, taking several minutes before you can move your hands from that spot. You realize you’ve accomplished your goal there when Hotch lets out a loud groan as you fell his muscles loosen beneath your hands, which you gather was an involuntary sound by the slight redness on his cheeks.

“See, I told you I was good.” Hotch doesn’t responds verbally, but nods, eyes closed now. You don’t say anything else, instead moving to his legs. You start at one ankle, slowly, slowly moving your way upwards, careful not to go to high for both of your comfort. You can tell when that is by a small twitch on Hotch’s leg, just above where you can feel the start of his boxers through his pants, and then you move down. You do however at on point press on a muscle on the backside of his knee that causes the leg to move on its own, which causes you both to laugh.

When both legs are done, you take your hands off Hotch and lean back, noting how his eyes are closed, almost like he’s sleeping.

“Turn around.” This causes Hotch to abruptly open his eyes and look at you for the first time since he laid down.

“What?”

“I haven’t done your front yet, and I’m not about to let you go with a half finished massage.”

“I-I’d rather not.” Looking over Hotch you quickly realize, with your profiling work and previous experience, why he’s not moving yet.

“If it’s an erection that’s nothing new.”

“Wha-”

“Your body is just reacting to stimuli, happens a lot with men, nothing I haven’t seen before. But if you really want to stop, we can of course do that.” You can see Hotch’s mind at war with himself. You say nothing, pretending that there’s a very interesting spot on the wall above the headboard.

It’s the movement of the mattress that alerts you to the fact that Hotch is moving, as the man himself says nothing. When you look at him, he has his arms over his face, jaw and mouth barely visible. What is very visible, is the erction pushing against the front of his pants, and though you would have liked to look, you only give it a glance. Hotch jumps when you touch his ankle again, but you don’t start just yet.

“Relax, like I said, nothing I haven’t seen before. Happens a lot actually, my hands are just that good you know, like a god or something.” Hotch huffs out a laugh, a smile briefly on his lips. You smile back at him even though he can’t see you, and then concentrate back on the task at hand.

Like before, you start at his ankles, working your way up. Hotch gets less tense almost by the second, breathing deepening as your hands work their magic once more. You don’t go very high on his thighs, actually now you’re lower than before, not wanting to make Hotch uncomfortable in any way.

Next is his hips, you start at the one closest to you and work your way up towards his shoulder instead of across his stomach. He still has his arms over his face, so you poke him in the bicep to get his attention.

“Arm please.” Hotch’s sigh is deep, but he moves his arm so you can take it. You’re gentle, well, as gentle as you can be while kneading out knots from tired muscles. His bicep is firm under your fingers, needing a lot less attention than his shoulders luckily.

When you’re done with that arm, you let it go, tapping on his other so he can move that of his face and switch it for the one you finished with. The angle of it is a bit awkward, and you probably should move for easier access, but honestly you can’t be bothered as you’re very close to being finished. However, your knee protests, telling your body that hey, moving is good as not to let limbs fall asleep.

But instead of doing the logical and probably better thing of getting of the bed and walking around, your tired brain decides to just move one leg over Hotch waist, intending to just move the other one over and after. Hotch draws in a slight breath at the motion and then something in your leg fails you, causing you to drop down on Hotch, putting most of your weight on top of Hotch’s crotch. Hotch moans out loud as his hands flies to your lower thighs and you go stock still.

“Fuck shit, sorry Hotch-”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it-” Hotch draws in a deep breath and licks his lips as you worriedly watch his face. You’re mortified, you just dropped yourself on Hotch’s erection, holy fuck, shit.

It takes a few seconds to realize that you’re not trying to move of Hotch’s lap.

But Hotch isn’t trying to move you off either.

If anything, he’s keeping you there, a deathgrip on your lower thighs.

You take a few terrifying seconds to take stock of the situation before experimentally rolling your hips against Hotch. A flex of his fingers, but he does or says nothing as he stares at the ceiling. You on the other hand, is watching his face for any hint of what he’s thinking.

“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop, and we’ll forget about it ever happening.”

“Ah, um, fuck, shit.”

Silence, one, two, three beats.

“Fuck, move.” You start to get off his, heart already dropping to your guts, but instead Hotch drags you down and rolls his hips against you. This time it’s you who gasps, as your own dick twitches in your pants with the feeling of Hotch grinding against you. Hotch throws his head back, eyes screwed shut.

You’re quick to find your balance and leverage by placing your hands on Hotch’s chest, grinding down, moving as best as you can with Hotch’s own movements. Hotch is letting out a few low moans, which you match with your own as you move and watch the adam’s apple on Hotch’s throat move as he swallows. You want to lean down and kiss his neck, but fuck, you don’t know if you even can kiss him, if he will let you.

Hotch answers that question for you, as just seconds later his eyes open and he moves so he can look at you, catching you staring at him.

“Ah fuck.” Before you can even ask, he’s sitting up. You yelp as the movement causes you to straddle his thighs instead, and then in seconds there’s a hand on the nape of your neck, and even fewer seconds later you’re kissing Hotch.

Fuck.

His lips are firm, but pressing against you with a desperation you’re sure to match. His hands on your hips, holding you hard. Your hands go into his hair, tugging him even closer of that is even possible at this point, which causes him to moan low into your mouth which holy shit, that is, fuck, you can’t even think anymore you think.

The world shifts around you then, and you find yourself on your back, Hotch’s erection pressed against your own. It feels so good, so big and firm, and you want to feel more of him, but you can’t muster the brainpower to do anything about it, so you just tug at his hair and grind against him. Hotch seems of the same mind, as he doesn’t move to do much more either, just moving his hips against yours while kissing you within an inch of your life.

Which should be ridiculous, because you’re both grown men almost fully dressed still, but fuck, that makes it even hotter you think. Or, you try to think, as your mind is mostly chants of ‘more, good, fuck, shit, hot’ over and over again, Hotch’s name thrown in the mix for good measure.

Hotch moves away from your lips, but doesn’t move far, instead peppering kissed down your neck on the little skin he can reach. You moan and gasp, moving one hand from his hair to his back, trying to press him even more against you.

“Fuck, shit, I’m close, so close!” You frantically confess towards the ceiling.

“Me too, me too.” Hotch breathes against your neck, one hand moving so he can unbutton your shirt and get his lips on your collarbone. He starts to suck and bite at a spot there, and that is what does you in. You come just seconds after your shirt is open for him, moaning loudly.

“Fuck!” You hear Hotch mutter against your skin, and then a mutter of your name as he comes, in a low baritone that you think you will remember for the rest of your life.

You lay there panting for several seconds, or perhaps minutes, you’re not sure, just a mess of limbs, most of Hotch’s weight on top of you.

It’s hot, in more ways than one, which is what forces you to push Hotch off you, to get some air. He goes willingly, flopping down on his back next to you on the bed. A few panting breaths before you both turn to look at the other, smiles, then laughter as the situation sinks in. You’re surprisingly the first to gain somewhat of a control over yourself, grinning as you speak.

“We just came in our pants, what are we, teenagers?” Hotch pushes his weight up on his elbows, wincing as apparently something pulls somewhere.

“I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t feel like one.” Hotch smiles as you, which you return, letting your eyes wander all over him now that you can. His hair is standing in a million different directions, there’s a blush to his cheeks, his clothes are rumpled, a wet spot is forming on the front of his pants, and he looks as fucked and blissed out as you, and most certainly he, feels. You hum, your attention going back to his face.

“We should get cleaned up.” You state, which Hotch nods in response.

“I think you mean you should get us cleaned up. My legs feels like jello right about now.” You raise a brow and he grins.

“I think your massage turned off something in my legs.” You huff, incredulous, but sit up anyway.

“I’m good, but not that good.”

“Well, the sex certainly helped.” You laugh and lean down to give him a kiss, which is mostly smiling lips pressed against each other.

“Flatterer.”

“Hey, what can I say, you got magic fingers.” You smack his chest and laugh as you get up to go the bathroom, your own legs a little shaky, which Hotch doesn’t comment on, but you know he liked by the way he grins at you when you get back to the bed.

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neoheros · 5 years ago

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sneaking out headcanons feat. gym 3 squad ♡ — also this is all gonna be set in an au before or without the quarantine, so don’t leave your house please!! social distancing is important and people are dying!!

kuroo tetsuro

listen LISTEN

sneaking out is terrible and you should never do it because it’s dangerous and risky

and you as the woke and understanding gen z that you are definitely respected that

but , BUT , BUUUUT !

the minute your boyfriend snapped you a photo of him in his car with him rubbing his tired eyes captioned “couldn’t sleep, dreamt of u”

your morals were OUT THE WINDOW and now it was your turn >:// !!!

kuroo: i know it’s 4 am but what’re the chances you’d hop out for a quick trip to chick-fil-a 👉👈

you, purposely taking two minutes to reply: why are you still awake

kuroo, who knows you like the back of his hand: babe don’t lie to me, it’s embarrassing for the both of us x

so you agree !! because it was kuroo, the love of your life, the man you’d simp for, and he’s paying for food so hell fricken yeah

you throw on a hoodie, lock your doors, fluff up the bed to make it look like someone was sleeping in it just in case and you gently make your way towards your window

due to personal reasons, you want to pass away

you suddenly remember why you hated sneaking out and boy — the food kuroo was buying you better be worth it

the only way you were actually gonna get down from your two story house that idiotically doesn’t have a roof ledge was if you grab onto the tv satellite that latched by the sill

from your window you see kuroo’s car parked by the trash cans near your house and he’s got his windshield down signaling at you

mfer pulled out his phone from his pocket and waved as he zooms closer to your figure and he SMILED ?

you were in a dilemma?? and he had the audacity???? the fricken audacity???

kuroo, snapping you the vid he took: babe please you’re so cute you look like a tiny gremlin

you: had me in the first half, not gonna lie

it was a MOMENT for you !! but you just say what the hell and go for it anyways because you only live once apparently and sneaking out with your boyfriend at 4 am was better than sleeping

you grab onto the satellite ridge and you pray for mercy that it doesn’t make a sound or loosen up because if anyone found out you were doing this it was definitely kuroo’s ass on the line

while you’re struggling to get down, kuroo’s just in the car ??? laughing his ass off at your current state and you swear that he’s still taking photos

you get down on the cement safely and instead of him pulling up closer to your drive way naaaah he makes you walk to where he was at 😤

you, getting in the car: if i dump you by the end of tonight, just know that the only reason why i didn’t do it sooner is because i wanted food

kuroo, putting on your seatbelt: we’ll get back together in the morning, i’m not worried

so the two of you make your way to chick-fil-a, get food via drivethru and eat in the parking lot with the doors open and the windows down

he still looks very tired and before you even realize it it’s already 6 in the morning

you catch him yawn every few minutes and he always reassures you that he didn’t mind staying up this late :(

he’s baby

kuroo: lets get you home, are you gonna dump me yet?

you, kissing his cheek: no, i kinda love you

kuroo, less sleepy with a lazy smile on his face: aha simp

tsukishima kei

bro if you think he’s a goody two shoes boy who won’t ask you to sneak out at like 2 in the morning , you are so wrong

canonically, he is the most devious and logical character in the entire anime and if he wants to go out with you before the crack of dawn — he fricken will !!

he’s gonna be so sly about it too, nah, he gon make you think it’s your idea to sneak out

tsukki, texting you a tiktok of homemade shrimp rotini at 2:35 am: look what yamaguchi sent me

yamaguchi, who fell asleep three hours ago and absolutely is not in any state to send tiktoks:

so you’re there like ??????

bruv you were just tryna scroll through your twitter feed in peace, why the hell would he send you that like that’s so uncool

because now you were sleep deprived and hungry

you, close to tears: does your house in hell have a pool or

tsukishima, unnerved: i don’t like the concept of swimming

he’s gonna go on about how he didn’t realize what he did and how he’s kinda sorry for waking your hunger but you weren’t born yesterday !! you smelled BS !!

so you facetime him, ready to go off on how unsorry he is and you can already imagine the shit eating grin he must’ve had on

he answers after three rings and he’s in a MFING yellow hoodie with the dinosaur print in the middle, his hair neatly tucked and you just know that he’s got his keys on his fingertips

you, defeated: i’ve been played

tsukishima, heading out the front door: i deny all accusations

you’re not even upset though because this was a perfect opportunity to try the stability of your roof ledge and tbh? who wasn’t unreasonably hungry at 3 am

turns out climbing out your window was harder than you thought and you may or may not have gotten two new bruises on your wrist just by trying

safe to assume that you fell on your ass and since the universe has a particular hatred towards you, your boyfriend arrived at the perfect time to witness all of it

tsukishima: how are you gonna kiss me when you’re too busy kissing the ground

you, tears on your cheeks: if i wanted a bully instead of a boyfriend i would’ve SAID SO

when you get in his car, the first thing he does is ask if you’re okay though and he’s checking your wrists and hands for any scratches or bleeding because 🥺

tsukki: you’re such a clumsy idiot what the hell

tsukki, kicking down the pavement when you’re not paying attention: 💢🪓

you guys end up going to numerous places because most of the drivethrus in town were already closed

you see him get tired behind the steering wheel and you almost have the urge to offer to drive but you didn’t really feel like crashing his car any day soon so

you: lets just head to starbucks hm? get some coffee?

tsukishima, feeling bad because he knows you wanted to get food: we don’t have to

you, in love with him: if you say no i will willingly walk all the way to starbucks by myself , what , you think i won’t do it

so you guys go there and order a couple double shot espressos with a side of scones and muffins and the entire time you’re just trying not to shiver because name one starbucks you’ve been to that hasn’t been unreasonably cold huh i dare you

he notices this and he gives you his hoodie and ITS JUST THE SOFTEST THING OKAY BECAUSE HE’S COLD TOO BUT HE JUST WANTS YOU WARM

you: i knew it, you love me too huh 😌

tsukishima: unfortunately so

akaashi keiji

AKAASHI IS LEGALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD !!

like he cannot be a bad boyfriend ?? it’s impossible for him to be so ?????? he’s just built that way ????

he’s the ultimate mixture of respect and self love , god was just like “let’s make this one perfect !!”

he’s DRIPPING in love each other juice and he eats kindness for breakfast so ha !

he physically cannot say no to you because he flat out adores you

( except when he feels like you’re wrong or being irrational to which he’ll politely correct you and educate you because that’s on what? that’s on having a healthy relationship ♡ )

so when you hit him up at 5:23 in the morning after a series of tiktoks that he has yet to see and react to you about, he’s kinda alarmed

but then again he’s also not ?? because let’s face it, at this point, he’s used to you spamming his inbox

the last thing you sent him two minutes ago was a text saying “bro just imagine this: you and me at a maccas drivethru with two oreo flurry’s and a box of 20 piece chicken nuggets — immaculate”

and you didn’t really expect him to reply?

it was five am and you were absolutely shit talking but when you saw his face time status go online you were just like ?????

akaashi, snapping you a pic of him under his covers with very tired eyes: it’s 5:27 am

you, sending him back a photo of you and the 2000 piece puzzle you spent the last two hours doing: that’s not a no 💅

he doesn’t reply and you’re not really upset by it because he probably just fell asleep and that was really cute to you so !!

but then two minutes later he’s facetiming you and you JUMP at the sudden ringing

he’s all tired and his voice is groggy and tight but he’s still smiling as he says “i’ll see you in ten”

YOU ARE !!!! PUMPED !!!!!

you won the boyfriend lottery , holy hell

now the only thing keeping you from seeing your man and the mcdonald’s sign was the eleven foot gap between your window and the solid concrete

you’d usually take the stairs but you just know that your mom would absolutely murder you for trying to sneak out when you should be asleep 💆‍♀️

it was either climbing out by clawing through the pipes or not being able to give akaashi a hug and you were not gonna let that second one happen

akaashi, after reading your two paragraph rant on how unnatural it was for your window to be that high: please be careful

you, haven’t slept in 32 hours: screw careful ! i embody elegance !!

in which elegance was screaming every time your pipes squeaked because dear mercy you did not want to die yet

akaashi, who just pulled up your drive way and is now seeing you almost fall to the ground:

you, on the verge of tears: please catch me

AND he does 🥺

it was a close call and he barely even made it to you when you chose to let go but HE DID ANYWAYS

you kinda fell on him rather than landing smoothly in his arms but that’s okay you were just glad you didn’t die

when you both get in his car, he just takes a hot sec to dust you off and ask if you’re okay and he’s so concerned please tell him you’re fine

he’s such a baby please i can’t believe this shit

the two of you end up in a mcdonald’s parking lot with doja cat blaring on the radio and you guys do your best to hold back your laughter as you eat

it was pretty cold and the sun was rising but honestly you couldn’t find the urge to care since the moment just felt so surreal

you: i’m sorry for waking you btw 🥺

akaashi, showing you his new lock screen which is the picture he took of you when he first saw you climb out the window:

you: i’m less sorry

bokuto koutaro

BOYFRIEND OF THE MFING YEAR

i accept no arguments, go cry about it

i literally don’t care what anyone has to say, bokuto is the only man ever ? he’s so deserving of every right on earth i’ll cry

the way that this is the third night in a row he’s stayed up til 4 am and he’s not even alarmed about it

like at this point he’s just accepted that he is nocturnal and that’s that on that !

before he actually had the idea to ask you to sneak out for him, he debated whether or not it was worth it

you needed sleep and you barely got any so when he knew you were resting he absolutely refused to message you :(

but then he also thought about how you would love to have a large dunkin iced coffee right now

and he was already getting ready for his morning fix so why not just ask harmlessly?

if you weren’t going to respond then he’d be okay with that because he knew that you were resting well

but if you were going to answer his consecutive texts with a positive reply then HE IS 🥺 over the moon

you, barely awake: can we get a venti triple shot latté instead , my caffeine tolerance is SHOT

bokuto, snapping you back within a minute: babe you are delusional if you think i’m gonna let you drink that

so it’s 5 am and your parents are in the other room asleep but you know that their jobs start pretty early so you had to get a move on

your room wasn’t that high from the ground to be honest, so you weren’t really worried about falling off

what you were worried about was how dizzy and out of depth the melatonin gummies made you because in order to fall asleep you took 3 and now that you basically forced yourself out of a self induced coma, your body was on the verge of passing away

bokuto tells you that he doesn’t mind if you’re not up for the trip and he’d just bring you back your coffee BUT NAH

you’re not a quitter 🤬 you miss your boyfriend and you are gonna do whatever it takes to spend some quality morning time with him !!!!!

so you throw on a proper outfit, make your way through your window and gently do your best to refrain from yelping every time your hand would slip from the railing that’s keeping your balance

bokuto, pulling up seeing you on your roof: you’re so strong 🥺👉👈

you, barely alive: all for you baby ❤️

he helps you get down from where you stood and he had the prettiest smile on earth i SWEAR when you immediately sank in his cold chest

he apologizes for making you sneak out like that BUT NUH UH YOU DO NOT LET HIM

he is a gift !!! and you knew how tired he must’ve been too since he kept yawning but he still took the time and energy to pick you up 🥺

he fastens your seatbelt in the car and puts the windows up because he knew that the air would get in your face and you didn’t like that

he even brought you a spare hoodie of his because he remembered how much you swooned over this particular fabric

bokuto: we’ll get you some coffee but you can sleep while i drive, ok babe?

you, trying not to cry: are you single because i really want to kiss you

bokuto, kissing your cheek: i’m dating someone i’m sorry

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hellzabeth · 3 years ago

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i have opinions about The Prince of Egypt musical adaption and you’re going to listen to them: An Essay

So, quick disclaimer: The Prince of Egypt is one of my favourite movies of all time. The casting, the music, the animation, I think it’s one of the top-tier movies that have ever been made. I went into seeing the London West End production of PoE with a full expectation that nothing I saw on stage would ever live up to how much I love the movie. I was fully aware there are plenty of limitations to what can be shown live on a stage with human actors and props.

That being said, I was enormously disappointed with how the whole thing was handled.

The Good

Now before I launch into a whole tirade of what I didn’t like about the production, it does behoove me to say what I think they did do well.  

The casting of the role of Moses was done fantastically, as was Miriam, Tzipporah, and Yocheved. The swings and the ensemble were really engaged and well placed, going through lots of quick changes to go from Hebrews to Egyptians to Midianites and back. 

The two Egyptian queens, wifes of Seti and Ramses, are actually given names, lines, and character beyond being simply tacked onto their respective kings. We get to see how they feel about the events happening around them, and there’s even a scene where Ramses meets his wife and courts her, whereas in the movie, she stands in the background and says nothing. This is one of the areas I was hoping the musical, which would naturally have a longer run-time, would expand on, and I was pleased to see the opportunity was taken.

Light projections on enormous curtains were used to very good effect, taking us instantly inside the walls of the palace and then out to the desert.  

Over all, the work was really put in to be engaging and emotional, and the orchestra really worked to deliver the right musical beats. 

One of two stand out scenes as being done very well was the opening “Deliver Us”, which included a bone-chilling moment of Egyptians separating a mother and her baby, with her screams as she’s dragged off-stage, and the blood on the guard’s sword. It really brings home the fear as Yocheved tries to lead Aaron and Miriam to the river with her, not to mention Yocheved’s actress nailed the lullaby.  

The second was at the other end of the show, “When You Believe” was beautifully performed by the whole cast, though it was somewhat stunted by what came before...

The Bad

Oh boy.

So the main problem with this show is not the music, not the staging, not even that sometimes the ensemble was a little off-beat (the lai-lai-lai section in Though Heaven’s Eyes comes to mind). Any mistakes there can all be forgiven, since sometimes things just happen in live performance, someone’s a bit off or something’s just not possible to do on the budget allotted.  

The problem is in the script.

The Prince of Egypt movie is a story that stands not only on the shoulders of its fantastic music and visuals, but also on its emotive retelling and portrayal of the characters within - mainly Moses and Ramses. And while the stage musical does spend a lot of time with the two mains, it neglects two other, incredibly important characters.

Pharaoh Seti, and God.  

In the movie, Seti strikes an intimidating figure. He is old, hardened, and wise in the ways of ruling his kingdom - and is voiced by Patrick Stewart, who brings his A-game to the role. Both Moses and Ramses admire him and look up to him immensely as young men, and the relationship he has with both of them deeply informs their characters as the story progresses. It’s from Seti that Moses learns that taking responsibility for your actions is the respectable thing to do (and later, the true horror of having your idol turn out to be not what you think), and it’s from Seti that Ramses takes a huge inferiority complex.

There are two lines that Seti gets in the movie, one spoken to Moses, and one to Ramses. These two lines define Moses and Ramses’ actions later on in the story:

To Ramses - “One weak link can break the chain of a mighty dynasty!” To Moses - “Oh my son... they were only slaves.”

Guess which two lines are absent from the musical?

One Weak Link is turned into an upbeat song, rather than shouted at a terrified and cowed young Ramses. Instead of being openly a traumatic, internalised moment of negative character development for Ramses, it’s treated as a general philosophy that Seti passes down to his son. Instead of a judgement that is hung over Ramses’ head like a sword of Damocles, lingering in his mind through the whole story and coming up in a shouted argument with Moses later, it’s said and then moved on from.  

The “they were only slaves” comment, on the other hand, is absent entirely. This changes Moses’ relationship with Seti enormously, as well as his relationship with the Hebrew people. Upon finding the mural depicting the killing of the slave children, Moses is appropriately horrified, and Seti shows up to comfort him and defend his terrible actions. Moses leaves this interaction... and then sings about how this is indeed all he ever wanted! He has no moment of horrific realisation that his father thinks of the slaves as lesser, as lives that can be thrown away. This means that the scene where he kills the guard doesn’t lead into a discussion of morality with Ramses as he runs away, but rather Moses breaking down about his heritage as though it’s a negative, instead of something he’s realised is just as valuable as his life as an Egyptian. Instead of Moses being shown as having a strong moral core that protests against the idea of any life being lesser, he bemoans his Hebrew blood loudly, and makes little mention of the man he killed. His issue that causes him to run away is being adopted, rather than his guilt that he’s a murderer, and nothing Ramses can say will change it.

Later on, we don’t see Ramses express this opinion either (in the movie - M:”Seti’s hands bore the blood of thousands of children!” R:“Hah, slaves!” M:“My people!”) so it seems the core reasoning for the necessity of the extremes God had to go to in order to convince Ramses to let the Hebrews go is completely gone.

Which leads us into God Himself, as a character.  

God is a tricky topic in general. He is hard to talk about as a concept and as a character, and even harder to depict in a way that won’t offend someone. The Prince of Egypt movie always struck me as a very good depiction of the Old Testament God - vengeful and strong-willed, commanding and yet nurturing, capable of great mercy and great cruelty in one fell swoop. God is incredibly present in the story, a character in and of Himself, speaking with Moses rather than simply commanding him. The conversation at the Burning Bush is bone-chillingly beautiful. Moses is allowed to question, he’s allowed to enquire, he’s allowed to express how he feels about God’s choice, and God is given the chance to respond (and reprimand, and comfort).

In the musical, the Burning Bush scene lasts all of two minutes, during which God (the ensemble cast, acting as one moving flame, speaking in unison) monologues to Moses, and Moses is not given room to question, talk to, or build a relationship with God. Later on, once some of the plagues have gotten underway, Moses rails against God, flinches in his resolve, and tries to back out... and God says nothing. It’s Miriam and the spirit of Yocheved that convince Moses to keep going. As a character, God is nearly absent. Even when it comes to calling upon the Plagues, or parting the Red Sea, God’s voice is absent. Moses does not pray. He does not even use the staff that God encouraged him to pick up as a symbol of his becoming a shepherd of the Hebrews out of Egypt.  

It’s these little changes, these little absences of such vital lines and presences, that ends up changing the whole vibe of the show. Seti is more like a dad than an emotionally distant authority figure, and God is more like an emotionally distant authority figure than a character at all. Ultimately, the whole feeling that one is left with at the end…

The Ugly

… is that the script doesn’t like God, or religion in general.

A bold statement to make, considering the source material is one of the central biblical stories in EVERY Abrahamic religion. Moses as a figure is considered so important and close to god, that The Prince of Egypt, even with its sensitive portrayal, cannot be aired in a number of Islamic states, because it’s considered disrespectful to depict any of the prophets, especially an important one like Moses. Moses is arguably the MOST important prophet in the Jewish canon.

However, I haven’t highlighted one of the most noticeable script changes - the elevation of Hotep, the high priest, to main antagonist.

In the original movie, Hotep is a secondary villain, a crony to the Pharaohs, bumbling and snide and two-faced. He and his fellow priest Hoy are there primarily to juxtapose how charlatans can control power through flattery and slight of hand, reassuring Ramses that Moses’ miracles are merely magic the same as what they can do. They even get a whole villain song, “Playing With The Big Boys” which is a lovely deconstruction of lyrics vs visuals, where while the priests boast that their gods and magic are much more powerful, in the background the staff, transformed into a snake by god, devours and defeats the priests’ snake handily. The takeaway from the song is that God’s power is true, and doesn’t need theatrics.

It’s a good little nugget of wordless world building. And it is completely absent from the stage musical, with only a vague reference to the chant of all the gods names.

Hoy is gone, and Hotep is the only priest. He actively speaks out against the Pharaoh, boasts about having all the power, and is played as bombastic and proud. He’s a wildly different character, even threatening Ramses at one point. In the end, it’s shown that Ramses won’t let the Hebrews go not because he has inherited his father Seti’s cruel attitude towards the lives he considers beneath him, but because he is being actively bullied by the priest, and will lose his power and credibility if he doesn’t do as he’s told. Ramses is even given a whole song about how little power he really has. The script desperately wants us to feel sorry for Ramses’ position and hate the unrepentantly, cartoonishly evil priest.

That’s another matter as well - a LOT of time is dedicated to making the Egyptians more human and sympathetic, portraying them as largely ignorant of the suffering beneath them, rather than actively participating in slavery. Characters speak out of turn without regard for formality and class, even to the royal family. They are casual, chummy even. And this would be fine - in fact, it’s good to have that sort of third dimension to characters, even ones who are doing reprehensible things, to show the total normalcy and banality of evil - if it were not for the fact they still include a completely open-and-shut case of evil right next to them.

Hotep has no redeeming features. And on the other side, God is barely present, certainly not in a relatable context. Moses has several lines about how cruel and unnecessary God’s plagues are - and you know what, in this version, they are unnecessary! Ramses is not the stone-hearted ruler that his movie counterpart is, he has no baggage over being a potential failure, because it was never really given to him in the same way! By taking away Ramses’ threatening nature, numbers like the Plagues lose half their appeal, as the back-and-forth ‘you who I called brother’ lines between Moses and Ramses are completely absent. Moses is faithless, and is less torn between the horror of what he’s doing and the necessity of it for the freedom of his people, and more left scrabbling for meaning that he doesn’t find. And the only thing hanging over Ramses is Hotep nit-picking everything he does and threatening him, which is considerably less compelling than the script seems to think it is.

This is best exemplified at the end, when all the issues come to a head. The angel of Death comes and takes the Egyptian first borns (which was actually a well done scene), and the Hebrews leave to a rousing rendition of When You Believe. But then we cut to Ramses and Hotep, with Hotep openly threatening to revolt against the Pharaoh - whom was believed, especially by the priesthood, to be a living god! Hotep is so devoid of redeeming features he cannot even be trusted to stand by his beliefs! - unless Ramses agrees to chase after the Hebrews. Reluctantly, Ramses is badgered into the attempt.

Back with the Hebrews, Moses parts the Red Sea… not with his faith, not by praying to God for another miracle, not even by using his staff as in the most famous scene of the movie… but by holding out his hand and demanding the ‘magic’ work. Setting aside the disrespect of Abrahamic religions to call one of the most famous miracles “magic” (and my oh my, if there was a fundamentalist of any religion in the audience they might have gasped to hear it), it again belittles the work of God, and puts all the onus on Moses, not as a conduit for God’s work, but as the worker himself. Then, the Egyptians arrive in pursuit, lead by Hotep, not Ramses. Moses sends the Hebrews through first, lead by Miriam, and stays behind with Tzipporah… to offer his life in penance to Ramses! The script has completely stripped both Ramses and Moses of their convictions towards their causes, and Moses cannot even stand by his decision to lead his people.

Then, in a moment of jarring melodrama, Moses has a sudden vision that Ramses, his brother, will one day be called Ramses the Great (an actual historical Pharaoh who reigned 1279-1213 BCE). There is no historical evidence that this was the Ramses that ruled over the Hebrews (there are 11 Pharaohs called Ramses through the history of Ancient Egypt), and maybe if the scene was acted a little better, it wouldn’t have been so sudden or jarring. Even more jarring, is that then Hotep arrives with the rest of the army, and Ramses refuses to lead the charge into the parted sea. Hotep does so himself, and is the one to have the final dramatic moment, being crushed under the water.

The Takeaway

After watching the show, I’m afraid I could never recommend it as either a play, an adaption, or even as a faithful retelling of a bible story. Its character drama isn’t compelling enough to be good as a standalone play, with it two main characters declawed and their core motivations reduced to a squabble between brothers rather than a grand interplay between two cultures and ideas and trauma handed down from their father. As an adaption of the movie it’s upsettingly bad, with grand numbers like the Plagues rendered piecemeal and fan favourites like Playing With The Big Boys missing entirely. As a retelling of the bible story, it’s insulting, completely cutting God out of the equation, taking no opportunity to reintroduce Aaron as an important character (which he was, in the bible, as Moses was a notoriously bad public speaker, with a stutter, and Aaron often interpreted for him) and more importantly, completely erasing God’s influence from the narrative.

I don’t know who this show was… for, in that case. If it wasn’t for drama lovers, movie fans, or people of the faith, then who the hell was it for? Why change such a critically acclaimed and well-beloved story? Why take away all these defining moments? If you wanted to tell a story about how religion is the true evil, how God can command people to do terrible things, and how those who uphold organised religion like Hotep are unrepentant, one-dimensional monsters… why would you tell that through the Prince of Egypt?

Underwhelming at best, infuriating at worst… just watch the movie. Or read Exodus. At least the Bible’s free.

#the prince of egypt #the prince of egypt musical #PoE #review #essay

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sundaymorninglife · 4 years ago

Text

the morning after

corpse husband x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, drugs, alcohol, insinuation of sex.

a note: thank you so much for your support on part one! uh, i haven’t written in years and coming back to tumblr has been a weird yet lovely ride. hope you enjoy this part two.

part 1 - next

tag list is open!

y/n closed the door behind her quietly.

she looked around the hallway, trying to see if any of her friends were around, but all she could find were some girls drunkly talking, waiting to go into the bathroom. she knocked on the door twice, having agreed that that was the code for coast clear. without looking back, she made her way through the hallway and then the stairs, before going to the kitchen.

she sighed heavily, and made her best to check that her clothes and hair were OK and not too much of a giveaway of what had just happened. she looked at the array of drinks in front of her, and grabbed a bottle of tequila to pour.

as she was looking for shot glasses, rae and lily bursted into the kitchen.

“y/n, there you are!” lily shouted, even though they were alone. she sounded a lot drunker than when they had left y/n before.

rae laughed and took a hold of lily, balancing her, before looking at y/n. “yeah we’ve been looking for yo- oh my god what happened to your hair?”

y/n’s hands instinctively rose up to her hair, her eyes wide and paranoid. “i- oh god. is it that bad?”

rae burst out laughing, lily just looked at them confused, too drunk to understand the unspoken context. “oh god y/n! WHO and HOW and WHEN? we were only gone for like forty minutes!”

y/n finally found the shot glasses and poured herself a shot of tequila, which she quickly downed before serving herself another one. “please don’t judge me,” she said, before taking the shot she had just poured.

“please don’t tell me you fucked e/n,” rae retorted, still holding lily up by the shoulders.

“oh my god please tell me you slept with e/n, it would be the gossip of the week!” lily said, just excited to have any kind of drama to talk about. their group of friends was great, no doubt about it, but it needed some spice some days. nothing too serious, of course, but enough to provide entertainment, that’s all lily wanted.

y/n let out a snort. “no fucking way. he’s so sleazy! i can’t believe i ever dated that guy.”

“so...” rae wiggled her eyebrows at the girl, “who was it then? do we know them?”

y/n gulped. “it was.... it was no one okay. it was just a random dude.” she wasn’t technically lying, but it still felt weird to hide this from her two closest friends in LA. rae and lily gasped and looked at each other, but before they could say anything, y/n continued: “i know, i know, i swore off men and random hook ups, but...” y/n paused, thinking of corpse and about what had just gone on in the bathroom mere moments ago, “he was charming, what can i say?”

“oh my god, you have to point him out later on- was it good? it looks like it was good, you’re practically glowing!”

y/n blushed and put her face in her hands, looked at rae from in between her fingers. “yeah, it was great. anyway,” she got in between her two friends, “how about we go and we dance a little?”

***

corpse left the bathroom a few minutes after he heard the two knocks on the door. as he went into the hallway, he barely caught y/n going down the stairs. his mind was racing. that had just happened. he had followed her into the bathroom, hoping to not get caught by any of their friends, and in between the kissing, the unbuttoning, the desperate need for skin on skin contact, they established a few rules.

1. no feelings. this, whatever it may become, will remain strictly physical.

2. no one can know. if anyone finds out they might pressure them to get into a relationship, or worse, it might ruin the group’s dynamic.

3. no jealousy. they are allowed to see other people as long as they keep each other updated, for health and safety reasons.

it was fairly simple and straightforward. of course, rule number one had sort of already been broken on his part since he did have a crush on her but, he thought, it could be easily pushed away. not like he was in love with her.

as he walked down the hallway, ready to rejoin everyone downstairs, he felt a hand against his shoulder. he turned around to find jack, drunk of course, smiling at him. “corpse! my guy! where have you been for the past hour?”

“i... i was talking to that group of girls,” corpse said, pointing to the girls waiting outside the bathroom. “although i got a little freaked out when they offered me snow.”

jack laughed. “well, i won’t offer you snow, but let’s go get some shots. you look way too sober compared to me, my man.” corpse laughed and let himself follow the irishman, trying his best to not think about y/n and what they had just done.

***

as people woke up the next morning, the ever so familiar hangover headache started infecting most of the people who had gone to mark’s party.

lily and y/n had gone over to rae’s apartment to spend the night. the two friends insisted y/n point out who it was that she had slept with at the party, but the girl simply told them, very regretfully, that he had already left, probably to never be seen again.

lily was presently throwing up in rae’s toilet, having been the most drunk out of the three friends, while rae and y/n battled simultaneous headaches in the kitchen. as rae was making a much needed batch of coffee, and y/n was toasting some bread, lily dragged herself to the kitchen, tiredly proclaiming, “i am never drinking again.”

rae and y/n just laughed, both of them had been in the exact same situation, and they knew that lily would probably be drinking just as much the following week.

“so...” rae started, as she poured the now ready coffee into three mugs, “y/n. are we gonna get more deets on mr. bathroom?”

y/n groaned and let her head fall into her hands. “please don’t remind me that i did it in a bathroom, rae.”

rae snorted. “yeah, yeah, WHATEVER. you’re avoiding the question at hand, y/n. what was he like? where was he from? will you see him again? did he have a big d-“

“WOAH, woah, okay!” y/n interrupted rae before she could finish that last question. “he was nice. i didn’t ask where he was from. and no, i probably won’t see him again.” y/n looked down sheepishly at her mug, knowing that last answer was a straight up lie.

as a matter of fact, corpse had already texted her that morning to make sure that what had happened in the bathroom (and the rules they agreed upon) was OK. she appreciated the concern he had for her and the fact that he went out of his way to make sure she was comfortable. she replied to him saying that everything was good to go, and she honestly couldn’t wait to see him again. even rae, when she saw her in the kitchen, told her she was glowing.

“aw damn, that’s too bad! i wanted to meet this guy. hey, you still didn’t tell me how big his di-“

“oh my god guys please shut up, i’m dying over here.” lily interrupted rae this time, clearly too hungover to be interested in the subject at hand.

rae and y/n just laughed and started talking about other events that had transpired throughout the night, although y/n couldn’t keep her mind off of a certain curly haired guy.

***

corpse quietly made his way to the kitchen. him and jack had gotten home very late and very drunk, and he was already getting ready for toast to be kind of pissy at the whole affair. after all, he was kind enough to offer them his home while they were staying in LA.

corpse’s head was pounding, from the hangover or the anxiety of seeing y/n, he didn’t know. he had texted her to make sure that what happened the night before was OK, and to confirm that they were actually going to do this. he felt relief when she texted back that yeah, she wanted to seriously do this no strings attached sort of thing.

the curly haired man dragged his feet to the kitchen. he found toast there, already having breakfast, looking a little ticked off.

toast looked up at corpse from where he was seated. “you know, i love you and jack. but for the love of god, i’m never going to let you back into my apartment if it means you two getting home drunk as hell at four in the morning, screaming about how much you want chicken nuggets.”

corpse groaned and covered his face. he mumbled a quiet “i’m sorry,” before going to boil some water for tea. toast looked at his friend and decided the argument was sort of silly, and kindly laughed it off before saying, “it’s like you guys forgot mcdonald’s has delivery.”

once his tea was ready, corpse sat across from toast at the kitchen table. by then, sykkuno had also made his way into the room, and he said a quiet but sweet “good morning” to his two friends.

corpse was quietly drinking his tea when toast noticed it. “holy shit,” he started, “what is that on your neck?” it wasn’t long before toast was laughing incredibly hard. corpse immediately pulled out his phone and opened the camera, trying to get a look at his neck.

y/n had left him a hickey.

sykkuno made his way over to the table and peeked at corpse’s neck, before gasping and bring his hand to cover his mouth. “corpse, oh my god!” he said between laughs.

corpse felt his face grow red, before putting his hand on his neck to try and make the hickey disappear.

toast was still laughing when he asked, “who gave you that corpse?!”

“i... well it was-“

“can you all please stop laughing so fucking loud? my head fucking hurts.” corpse was thankful for jack’s interruption. he was quickly trying to come up with a cover up story for the hickey on his neck.

“corpse has a hickey!” sykkuno informed jack. the irishman’s eyes widened at the statement and immediately he went over to tear away corpse’s hand from his neck.

“so that’s what you were doing with the girls outside the bathroom, huh?” corpse sighed with relief. jack came up with the cover up on his own.

“uh, yeah. i hooked up with one of them in the bathroom. they offered me coke after and that’s when i found you, jack.”

“un-fucking-believable. i miss being 23 and being able to pull shit like that off.” jack sat down next to him at the table.

“pfft! as if you had half the game corpse has when you were in your 20s, jack,” toast said, trying to tease his friend a little.

“oh shut the fuck up toast! as if your game is any better than mine, huh?”

corpse just laughed, bringing his hand back up to cover his hickey.

“are you gonna see the girl again corpse? what was she like anyway?” sykkuno asked.

“uh, she was nice. i probably won’t see her again though, i’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”

ah, but he would see her again. he actually couldn’t wait to get his hands on her once more, even if it meant more hickeys for his friends to find and make fun of.

taglist: @evi-ka @bi-andready-tocry @ramshasar

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse imagines #corpse husband x y/n #corpse_husband #corpse husband x you #corpse x you

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years ago

Note

Jake and amy putting presents under the tree while mac's asleep at Christmas

“You need to be quiet! He’s gonna wake up!”

“I am being quiet, Jake, and nothing short of an earthquake is gonna wake that kid up after the day he had at the softplay centre.” Amy gives him a quick glare, setting the first laundry basket of gifts hidden high up in their bedroom closet down on the couch.

They usually go to the Santiago family home for christmas - a massive affair of the whole gang, especially for Nochebuena - and end up bringing only a select few of the gifts Mac receives because hiding things in a car for a three hour drive with the most inquisitive toddler in the world is kind of difficult. But this year, some disastrous shift shuffling and a case that had Jake working until 11pm yesterday when they were supposed to start their drive at 5pm meant that they had to cancel those plans, and only ended up facetiming abuela and abuelo for a while until the grandkids that were at their house pulled their attention away. Amy’s worried that Mac will feel sad about it all - he loves to meet his cousins, and the uncles that throw him around and roughhouse with him, and the grandparents that keep feeding him sweets before Jake can steal them away - so she’s tried to keep him occupied with their own version of celebrations, spending the day before christmas morning at his favourite softplay space, getting hot chocolate from that little cafe with the sweet kids corner, and allowing for four instead of 3 extra chicken nuggets with his veggie dinner.

Seeing the mountain of gifts they’re currently collecting on the couch, though, lets her know that Mac is not going to be missing anything at all.

Terry, Rosa and Charles, all working just as late as Jake, had handed their gifts to them yesterday instead of waiting until after Christmas to give them to Mac at the precinct like they usually do. Captain Holt and Kevin had presented their gift a week ago, of course, to be as polite as possible. Karen had brought over her own little basket of gifts a few days ago, ignoring her son’s pleas of ‘not spoiling Mac like that’ like a proper grandma should. Even Gina had sent something via singing + dancing messenger, which Mac was absolutely delighted about even if he didn’t get to open the box yet, and Amy’s parents had promised to overnight as much of the family gifts as they could without breaking the bank.

Adding all that together - plus, of course, the most sensible gifts he’s getting from his parents, who’ve handed out all the actually fun gift requests to their friends and family - amounts to a good two and a half laundry baskets of packages that Jake and Amy are now standing in front of.

“If we stack them all right, it’s probably gonna be taller than Mac himself.”

“If we stack them, it’s gonna be taller than the tree.” Amy eyes their little christmas set up in the corner of their living room, barely up to her hip - they’ve never really needed a bigger one, and there wasn’t any space for it in a Brooklyn apartment anyway.

“We could make an arch over the tree.”

“Some of these things are breakable, Jake, and Mac is gonna topple that arch in seconds.”

“Why are we getting breakable things for mini-Hulk?!”

Amy sighs before an idea blinks into her head.

“Easter egg hunt.” She says with a grin that rivals the Peralta one, and Jake only gives her a questioning eyebrow raise.

“Wrong holiday, babe.”

“No. Imagine. We hide the gifts all over the apartment. The smaller ones, at least.”

Jake’s eyes light up from her explanation. Mac has been the most inquisitive toddler they’ve ever known, able to take apart pretty much anything to find out how it works, climb up things they never imagined as climbable, and generally being a perfect little detective in the making.

Having him hunt for his presents instead of simply presenting them in the living room will make sure Christmas morning entertainment will be pretty much sorted.

“Ames, you are a genius.”

-*-

It takes a lot longer hiding gifts in places that a toddler could safely find, but also won’t discover in the first few seconds, than simply putting them under a tree. It is a massive amount of fun, though, as well, as Jake and Amy keep exclaiming to have found the perfect place for the next box, giggling about hiding things behind curtains and under cushions. Amy has started a list to keep track of what hides where, so they don’t randomly forget a box tomorrow. Jake, meanwhile, has been a bit shifty, disappearing into the bedroom once or twice - where they’ve agreed not to hide any of the gifts in fear of Mac absolutely wrecking the place to find them. When all the boxes are stashed, and Amy sticks the list behind the to do schedule on their fridge, she gets a quick peck on the nose. “You go first in the bathroom.” He says, totally not suspiciously, when they usually share the bathroom for their night routine. “I’m gonna check in on Mac first. We were pretty noisy after all.”

No we weren’t, Amy thinks, and you’re not fooling anyone, but only nods and tries not to smile when she catches him with an awkwardly wrapped tiny box in his hands through the only half-closed bathroom door. She pretends not to notice when he slips under the covers almost an hour later than her.

-*-

Christmas gift hunt might have to become a new tradition for the coming years.

Mac is absolutely going crazy toddling through the place, Amy or Jake in tow to make sure he doesn’t break anything or hurt himself, squealing and giggling and running back to show off the next box he’s found. The stash around the couch keeps growing, and half of them haven’t even been opened yet, because he drops them and immediately runs off to search for the next one instead.

He even finds the one hidden behind all the pots and pans in the kitchen cabinet, a hiding place Amy definitely didn’t notice Jake picking, but he’s the one sorting all of that stuff back into the cabinet, so she can’t complain much.

They all end up cuddled together on the couch several hours later, still in their pyjamas although it’s almost noon, with Mac making vroom noises along with the new toy car he’s gotten from Charles.

“Absolutely brilliant idea, Ames.”

“Yeah. I’m glad we found all of them now, though. It’s almost time for lunch, and we promised to call my parents after...” She trails off as Mac hops off her lap to find another one of his new toys to play with, giving Jake an almost apologetic look. “We can do our own gift exchange tonight, maybe? When things have calmed down?”

“Mh, I don’t know.” Jake grins at her in the most mischievous way, and she kind of knows what’s coming, but she’s still getting nervous. “I have your gift right here.”

He holds up a little envelope that Amy snatches out of his hands maybe a tad too quickly - that is definitely not the box she saw him hold yesterday.

“Is it a coupon?” She asks, trying to play along, but Jake’s rolling eyes tells her he knows the jig is up as well.

“Open it and see, no guessing.”

So she does, and unfolds a wonkily folded paper to reveal -

a handwritten crossword puzzle.

“I suppose it’s not really a gift.” Jake explains. “But I think you’ll find that the clue at the end is going to lead you to one.”

-*-

It takes her pretty much their entire lunch to solve it. The little clues are about them, of course - some reaching as far back as their early dates, and she half considers texting Rosa to ask for help with some things, but then again insists she can do it herself. (Mac helps, though - practically shouting a few of the answers that seem to be geared towards him, as Jake only grins and feeds him some more brokkoli.)

She practically jumps from the table when the final word clue is revealed to be ‘paperstacks’, and races over to her desk. How she didn’t notice the little box hiding between her binders during Mac’s hunt through the apartment is beyond her.

Jake walks over with Mac on his hip as she unwraps it, clicks the velvet box hidden under the gift paper open to reveal her favourite necklace - the one Mac’s grabby hands broke over a year ago, ‘irreparable’, the jeweler she went to had said, and that she’d dropped into her jewelry box with a sad sigh. It’s joined by matching little golden earstuds.

“You fixed-...?”

“No, I asked the goldsmith we got it from and even she said she couldn’t mend it. But she did have another one from that discontinued collection, and the new earrings that match.”

She smiles at him with the biggest Aww expression on her face before kissing him, and Mac in his arms squeals.

“Y’found it!” He yells, repeating what they’ve been saying to him all morning whenever he came back with a new box. “A gift!”

“Yeah.” Amy laughs as he leans over to switch from Daddy’s arms into hers. “I did. I found the best gift ever.”

“So cheesy, Ames.” Jake quips, but his smile and his soft eyes show that he’s more than agreeing with her.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #mac peralta #my writing #ficlet #fic

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ssa-babygirl · 4 years ago

Text

Out of My League [Part 1]

Pairing: High school!Spencer Reid x Popular!Reader

Word count: 3.7k (god i don’t shut up do i)

Summary: Spencer begins tutoring you in chemistry, and the two of you bond (I would say no pun intended but fuck it that was GOOD so I’ll say pun intended)

Warning(s): Mentions of bullying, mental illness, some swearing, I made one joke about herpes??? sorry if thats a sore spot with anyone, light angst and pining, Reader POV

Author’s Note: Here it is, folks!! The first official part! I’ so grateful for all the feedback I got on the prologue, I’m glad y’all are liking it, I hope you like this part just as much!! Next part I’m gonna have some baby spencer, and by that I mean whole ass adult spencer that just looks baby

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

You absolutely despised chemistry. It’s boring. It’s simultaneously stupid and ridiculously complicated. You weren’t dumb, you were a decent student in all your other classes, but science was never your strong suit. You preferred literature over litmus paper any day. Unfortunately, your failing grade was bringing down your entire GPA, just below the requirement for you to stay on the cheerleading squad. Your coach recommended you get a tutor, or else you were off the team. So you went to the library to see the peer tutoring program, and all of them were booked. The next best thing would be the kid genius in your class. He was probably a better first choice, honestly, but you figured he’d be booked with other students too.

He wasn’t like other kids in your class, not just because he actually cared and was a good student, he was also twelve years old. The kid was a prodigy. He was bullied a lot because of this because no one really understood him. That’s probably why he looked so terrified when you approached him after class one day.

“Hey, Spencer!”

His eyes grew wide as he stared back at you, saying nothing.

“I was just wondering if you were available for tutoring?”

“Oh, uh, um, y-yeah, in chemistry?”

“Yeah, what are your rates like? Like say we do an hour every other day, how much would that be?”

“Oh! N-no charge.”

“Really?”

“The first couple of sessions can be a trial run, I don’t want your money if you’re not benefiting from it.”

That made you smile, this kid was so nice and you just wished that people actually cared about that instead of the dumb shit they bullied him for. Sure, he was skinny and short and dorky and you know, a literal twelve-year-old boy, but if someone would take time to know him, they’d see he’s a good kid.

“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t wanna waste your time if you have other students.”

“I don’t, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Great! Are you free after school today?”

He nodded and avoided all eye contact before scurrying out of the room to his next class.

~~~

You met up later in the library. You greeted each other politely with simple hi’s and hey’s and nothing more. Then it was time to pour over your books for an hour and try to force the puzzle pieces into place and hope something finally clicked. Balancing molecular equations physically hurt. Just when you thought you got it all right, Spencer reminded you that you still had to balance the oxygen, which was always bonded with something else, which threw off the whole equation. Every time you made a mistake you just let out a groan and set your head on the table.

“It’s a lot of math, a lot of people have a hard time with it, don’t feel bad.”

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You’re not! It’s an easy mistake.”

“You don’t make mistakes like that.”

“That’s because I’ve been taking advanced math classes for the past two years, I’m good at this stuff.”

“You’re good at everything, you're a literal genius.”

“There are people who aren’t geniuses who are good at this sort of thing, just look at Johnny Abrams in our class. He answers every question Mrs. Gustin asks and I once saw him put his backpack on his car’s roof and start driving ‘cuz he forgot it was there. He’s just been practicing. That’s why we’re here, right?”

He always reassured you. Always told you that you weren’t stupid. You weren’t dumb. He always smiled when you got questions right and told you you were doing a good job. When your hour was up, you said goodbye and went home.

Spencer’s mini lectures aside, most of your sessions were sparse in the conversation department. The first time he went off on a side about some chemistry facts, you couldn’t keep up. You just sat there, jaw hanging while he went into detail about saponification, which wasn’t even in this lesson.

“Sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Did we learn that in class? Cuz if we did, I’m screwed.”

“No, not yet at least.”

“How do you just… know that?”

Spencer avoided your eyes once again, something he did more than spouting random facts, “I read a lot.”

That’s how it happened the first time. All it took was you asking one question about different types of reactions for him to launch into another spiel. You figured you’d have to know it at some point, so you started writing down whatever you could catch from his fast-paced speech, taking notes in bullet points.

“And that-- Oh. Y-You don’t need to do that, that’s not even on the curriculum.”

“Well, I gotta keep up with you somehow, right?” You glanced up from your page and flashed an almost challenging smirk as you saw him stifle a smile as he avoided all eye contact with you, as per usual. He then cleared his throat and got back to the actually assigned chapter.

The more he went off on tangents, the more he realized you weren’t stopping him. He was actually able to make chemistry sound interesting to you, which is strange, but it was easier to understand through how he explained it all. Something told you that he wasn’t used to having someone listen to what he said, because he just lit up when he talked about this stuff. He was clearly passionate about it, so why would you make him feel bad about it? He always apologized, but you always reassured him it was no big deal.

You didn’t know it at the time, but the kid was falling hard. This pretty, older girl was paying attention to him and didn’t think he was annoying? The bar may have been on the floor for young Spencer, but you were perfect to him. Eventually, he was able to look you in the eyes when you spoke to one another, he even smiled at you when you joked with him. That was another thing: you joked with one another now. You both warmed up to one another as your sessions continued. You said hi to each other in the hallways, you ruffled his hair as a greeting, he accepted your high-five requests every time you got something right.

You still didn’t talk outside of class much, which is why he was caught so far off guard by you calling his name from across the cafeteria as you approached his table.

“Hey, dude! Is it cool if we squeeze in an extra session today? I got a test tomorrow.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem, but, uh, it’s Thursday. Don’t you have practice after school?”

You did. And you had to be there because you had a competition this weekend.

“Yeah, I was wondering if we could meet after?”

“When does it end?”

“Five.”

“Library closes at four.”

“I know, but would it be too much of a hassle if I just… Pick you up tonight and we head back to my house to study?”

You could physically see his brain shut down in his eyes. After he realized he needed to respond, he picked his jaw up off the floor and gulped hard.

“Or you can stay after and hang out at practice and I can just drive you home?”

“Y-Yeah, um, yeah, tha-that works, I can, uh, yeah, we can do that.”

Spencer brought his books and homework and tried his hardest to not make it obvious he was staring at you while you danced. You looked like you were having so much fun and he loved seeing you happy and smiling with your friends like that, it was hard for him to look away and focus long enough to read a sentence, which is saying something, considering it does not take him long to read a sentence.

After practice wrapped up, you told him to go wait by your car while you changed out of your uniform. The girls in the locker room were talking just as loudly as always, only this time, it was about something you actually cared about hearing.

“I mean, really, what was that little creep doing watching us today?” You heard one girl sneer.

“So fucking gross, I don’t wanna know where his prepubescent head was.” Another girl laughed.

You had to step in. You had to say something.

“I’m his ride home. He’s my chemistry tutor and I have a test tomorrow, so back off the kid, he didn’t do shit to you anyway.”

The squad learned to watch their mouths around you after that.

~~~

The neon glow of the golden arches shone through your car’s windows as you pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru line.

“This isn’t your house,” noted Spencer, sounding confused.

You grinned, “Oh, shit… no way! Wow! I’m so glad my tutor is a genius! I would have never guessed this was not my family home!”

He let himself laugh for a moment, “Okay, okay, fine. Why are we here?”

“Uh… to get food? Duh.”

“But what about your food at home?”

“My mom’s visiting my dad, he works in D.C., and I haven’t gotten a chance to go grocery shopping this week, so I can’t cook for you. What do you want?”

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“No, I insist, it’s almost dinner time. Lemme get you something. As a thank you for squeezing in an extra cramming sesh?”

“It’s fine! Really.”

“Hey, Reid, come on,” you attempt to stifle a stupid giggle as you gesture to the rather large window displaying the playroom inside, “you are a guest in my home!”

Spencer shakes his head and chuckles, but doesn’t dare let you think he found you funny, “I’ll have chicken nuggets.”

“Happy meal?”

He tried to look offended at your clarification, but he quickly dropped the facade, “Yes. Extra fries, please.”

“Of course, buddy.” You pulled up further to the ordering station, catching a glimpse at the menu and the ads they had displayed on it, “Oh no way! They have Strawberry Shortcake toys! I used to collect those when I was a kid!”

Spencer saw the look on your face and couldn’t help but smile at your childlike excitement, “Do you want my happy meal toy?”

You bit your lip and hesitated before throwing all shame to the wind and saying yes. Because it was Spencer. He got excited over chemistry, he had no right to judge you on your old Strawberry Shortcake doll collection.

After you got your food, you drove back to your house, and you ate together at your kitchen island while Spencer quizzed you on the last chapter. He had asked you eighteen questions so far, and you had answered all of them correctly.

“Okay, this last one is for the Strawberry Shortcake--”

“Her name is Orange Blossom.”

“Whatever, this last one is for the Orange Blossom toy: Which type of reaction is represented by this equation?” He showed you his notebook where he had written a molecular equation.

“Substitution.”

“Correct! Now balance it.”

Your shoulders slouched as the pride drained from your body.

“Please don’t make me.”

“This is going to be on the test, Y/N, you have to know it.”

“What’s one wrong question, really?”

“You and I both know she’s not going to put just one balancing question on the test.”

“Fine.” You grumbled, grabbing a pencil and sliding his notebook closer to you. You worked it out after a few minutes, but everything looked right, and judging by Spencer’s proud grin, everything was.

He reached for the figurine, still in the plastic bag, and handed it to you, “You’re gonna do great tomorrow, Y/N.”

You took Orange Blossom from his hands and danced around the kitchen with it, overwhelmed with the sudden feeling of confidence you gained from nailing this practice session. You heard Spencer’s small laugh from behind you, causing you to turn around and face the boy as he lovingly mocked you.

Studying at your place became a regular thing after that, even when your mom was home. She loved him. She always invited him for dinner if she was home. He rarely took her up on the offer, but it was nice having him around the house with you. Study sessions turned into just plain hanging out. You spent more time bonding over Doctor Who than chemistry some nights, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

~~~

When Alexa Lisben invited him to meet her at the football field you were skeptical. You had good reason to be. She was never very nice to you or Spencer. You were able to be civil with her for the sake of the cheerleading squad, but something about her just didn’t sit right with you. You tried to warn him, but he wouldn’t listen. He seemed offended at the notion that Alexa would do something horrible to him. How dare you imply that the only reason someone would be interested in him would be to pull a fucked up prank?

“I’m not like you, Y/N, I don’t have a line of people waiting around for a date, no one’s ever had a crush on me before, and-and now that someone other than you is being nice to me, you’re telling me that they have some sort of ulterior motive?”

“Spencer. I know these girls, I’ve seen the guys they go for--”

“And I’m not like them?”

“No! You’re a sweet kid, you’re nothing like those guys and they’re gonna take advantage of that.”

“I really wish everyone would stop saying I’m just a kid!”

“You’re not! That came out wrong--”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m going whether you want me to or not, so if you really want to keep babying me, by all means, stay after and wait with me.”

“I don’t wanna baby you!”

“So stop it!”

You didn’t want to fight with him anymore, you weren’t his mother. “Ok, Spencer, fine. I’m sorry. You should go. How about you meet me in the library after and you can tell me all about it over McDonald’s? My treat.”

He warmed up and agreed.

So you waited in the library until four, and then you started to get worried. You went to grab something from your gym locker before you left to look for him and heard some girls from the squad gossiping about “the little dork.” Your blood started to boil as you heard the way they talked about Spencer. Your jaw only clenched harder as you recognized one of the girls’ voices as Alexa Lisben’s.

You poked your head around the lockers that divided the aisles and tried to manage a calm voice, “Hey Alexa? Spencer actually said he was meeting up with you today, do you know where he is?”

She just laughed and said, “I can’t believe you actually care about that loser.”

“He’s my friend.” All attempts to remain level-headed were tossed aside, “Where the fuck is he, what did you do to him?”

You could feel yourself starting to cry. It’s your fault, you weren’t there, you tried to warn him, but now you don’t know where he is or what he’s thinking or--

“Check the field.”

You sprinted out to the football field and saw him stripped down to his briefs, blindfolded, and tied to a goal post. You could kill Alexa. You actually considered turning right around and unleashing hell on that locker room, but your friend needed help. He was crying so hard he didn’t hear you coming until you called his name. You immediately went to untie him and grab his clothes from the fence beside him.

“You were right.” He sniffled, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad, I’m sorry, I should have been there, I could have helped you--”

“No, you couldn’t. There were too many people.”

“How many were there? Who did this?”

“Y/N, please--”

“No, Spencer, tell me what happened.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!”

You know when to stop, so you just shut your mouth while he got dressed, “Get in the car, I’m taking you home.”

You didn’t say a word to him as he buckled his seatbelt and you could tell he appreciated it. You just drove to McDonald’s and got him his usual. You parked in the parking lot and ate your food in almost silence, save for the radio in the background.

“You don’t have to tell me what exactly happened, you could pretend none of this ever happened, I won’t mind, it’s okay, but I just need you to know, Spencer, say the word and she’s dead. I have so much dirt on her, you have no idea, I can destroy her.”

“Don’t.”

“Okay, I won’t. At least give me names. I will personally make sure none of those boys ever get a date again.”

“Y/N, please.”

“I’m serious, I’ll tell everyone they have herpes.”

“I know you are and that’s what scares me, please don’t, I don’t wanna make things worse.”

You decide to drop it because if he doesn’t wanna talk about it, he needs a distraction.

After you finish your food, you ask him “Your house or mine?”

“Yours. Please.”

You drove back to your house and got yourselves set up on the couch in front of the TV, turning on an episode of Doctor Who that you had recorded. You made him popcorn as he curled up on your couch, clutching a pillow. You were mostly quiet for the rest of the night, but when you did talk, it was to ask him a question about the show or if any of the science was accurate. It was the best you could do to keep him mind off things. Eventually, he fell asleep and you felt too bad to wake him. He got up by himself around midnight, jolting awake as if from a nightmare, and considering how the last few hours had been for him, it probably was one.

“Hey, bud, I’m here, it’s me.” You didn’t touch him, knowing he got overstimulated sometimes when he got really stressed, but he felt around for you on the couch next to him, needing to know you were really there this time. You patted his hand when it reached across the cushion for you.

“What time is it?”

“Way too late for you to be here, let’s get you home.”

He nodded, slowly rising to his feet and looking for his backpack, which you reminded him he had left in the car. Your hand hovered above his head for a moment before he lazily drifted into you as he walked. You took this as an okay to touch him, so you ruffled his hair before loosely slinging an arm around his shoulders as you guided him to your car.

The drive back to Spencer’s wasn’t too long, thankfully, because you were sure his parents would be furious with him and the kid’s been through enough today. You wanted to take all the heat without making them think you kidnapped him. The lights were still on when you pulled into the driveway. They were probably worried sick about him.

When you knocked on the door, a frantic woman with short blonde hair opened it. When she saw Spencer, she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the house, never breaking eye contact with you.

“Who are you? What are you doing with my son?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong, Mrs. Reid. I’m Y/N, he’s been tutoring me.”

“How do you know me? Spencer, what did you tell her?” She looked at him and back at you, “Get off my property and stay away from us!”

“Mom, she’s a fr--”

“Go up to your room, don’t come out.” She didn’t sound like an angry parent reprimanding her son, she sounded almost... scared.

A million alarms were going off in your head, and you needed to try to get through to her, “Ma’am, I’m sorry, he was helping me study and we lost track of time, it’s not his fault.”

“I don’t care, I don’t know you, get off my property!”

You decided it was best not to argue, so you hurried back to your car and drove home as quickly as possible so you could shower and go to bed and pray that Spencer would be okay tonight.

~~~

Your phone rang early the next morning. You rolled out of bed to answer it, sprinting to the hall table to take it off the stand. Checking the caller ID, you realized it was from a number you didn’t recognize. Answering it, you heard Spencer’s voice on the other side.

“Hello, this is Spencer, is Y/N home?”

“Yes, you woke me up on a Saturday morning, where else am I gonna be, kid?” Your voice was scratchy as you struggled to fight off the sleep still clawing at your throat.

“Sorry about that. I was just calling to apologize for last night.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“N-No, I’m not in trouble, I just wanted to explain why my mother was all--”

“She was worried, I get it.”

“N- she… My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, she doesn’t do well with strangers. She doesn’t even remember what she said to you last night, she was having one of her episodes. She was just confused.”

You didn’t know how to respond. You were so shocked by his sudden revelations, you just stayed silent. You didn’t want him to think he scared you, so you had to say something. And apparently, that something was “Oh.”

“She wanted to apologize, but she’s just a bit embarrassed, so I called for her.”

“N-No, it’s okay, I…” It was suddenly so hard to say you understood because while it made sense to you, you wouldn’t fully understand what he or his mom was going through, you didn’t understand it, but Spencer didn’t seem to mind. He was just glad it didn’t bother you. After the events of yesterday, he couldn’t afford to lose you.

“Tell her I’m sorry I scared her.”

“Will do. She said you could come over so she could apologize personally and meet her if you want.”

“I’d love to. And Spence?”

You felt him take pause. You never called him that before, “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t wanna scare you.”

“You wouldn’t scare me, dude, you can tell me anything.”

“Really?”

“I promise. I’ll see you Monday?”

Spencer nodded, but you couldn’t see him, so he spoke up through the lump in his throat, “See you Monday.”

Taglist ~~~~~~

(Lmk if you wanna be added!!)

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @baby-pogue @rottenearly

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #mgg #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg smut #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #cm fan fiction #cm imagine

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shimmershae · 3 years ago

Text

Some, okay a lot, of pre-mid season (tri? season) finale thoughts. As if you actually asked for them, lol.

And no, I haven’t actually watched the last episode yet. I’ve been putting it off all morning. For reasons. Reasons that I felt the inexplicable need to put on paper, er, screen.

If you care at all to read the purging of my fatigued TWD fangirl mind, please look beneath the cut. Fair warning. It’s long so pull up a chair maybe, lol.

I’ll admit it. The spoilers indicating a significant lack of Carol/Melissa content has dampened much of my enthusiasm and there wasn’t all that much to start with.

Let me tell you why--

The season, so far, has been woefully unbalanced in favor of the Reaper storyline and the Maggie/Negan conflict (which ties back to the Reaper storyline by the flimsiest of strings) and I’m just not invested.

Why?

Well, it’s multifold.

#1 reason why? Having a third of the last season ever of TWD devoted to going inside “the lions’ den” of villains I have no emotional connection to or curiosity about is a big fat fail.

You might say “but there’s the Daryl double agent” aspect and I say “so fucking what” because it was so poorly conceived and has felt like such a WTF set of fraying puppet strings for this plot Angela was apparently jonesing to tell from the GO, damn the torpedoes she had to know where inevitably coming her way.

Seriously. I had talked myself into accepting that which I could not change, citing Daryl’s emotional brokenness after Rick. Convincing myself he’d lost his anchor to goodness and hope and fulfillment in his years of self-imposed exile from Carol and what was left of his family and to a certain extent? I can still by that explanation. But really. It’s the Leah of it all.

Let me attempt to explain.

To do that, maybe I should detail how I’ve always perceived Daryl.

Daryl, IMHO, began this journey with us and the rest of Team Family with a figurative fortress erected around his true, core self.

He was prickly. Defensive to any overtures of kindness because he inherently did not trust them. Loathe to form any real connection to anyone other than Merle, his blood.

Daryl balked at the possibility of emotional connection and flinched in learned fear from physical touch.

He did not recognize or accept affection or respect at face value because it was something rarely shown to him before.

Anybody else remember that childhood abuse book from Consumed? You know. One of those first times the showrunners/writers dumped a character nugget in our laps and left it to us to do all the backstory in our own imaginations so they didn’t have to enrich their own characters beyond the scratch and sniff, wham bam this is who they are work?

Anyway. We were left to extrapolate from that what most of us h ad already suspected--that Daryl’s formative years were already a living hell before the ZA ever happened.

So he was standoffish. He didn’t form emotional connections lightly and physical intimacy was something light years out of his comfort zone.

Until Carol.

Daryl’s defenses started to crumble from the very start with Carol because she piqued his interest. He looked at her, watched her withstand Ed’s abuse, and recognized something of himself.

Against his will, Daryl started to care and when Carol lost the one good thing that had come out of her miserable life with Ed--Sophia--Daryl’s core identity started to be revealed to us and probably? To himself after burying it so deep for so long.

Long story short? Daryl connected with Carol pretty quickly on a base level through the trauma of Sophia’s loss.

The real connection, the emotional work it too to peel all those protective layers away took more like--like planting a flower from seed and tending it to help it survive and flourish.

Simply said? The work was put in and Daryl bloomed with Carol’s (and Team Family’s) care. They all put in varying degrees of work but Carol planted the seed of his “belonging.”

And the thing about Daryl? Once he bloomed? He grew strong. He stretched toward the sun.

He and Carol essentially bloomed and fought their way toward the sunlight together.

And little by little, Daryl learned to accept the kindness, trust, and love he always deserved.

From that newly confident man emerged a Daryl not so fearful of forming connections and none have ever been more powerful than his connection to Carol.

I’ll spare ya’ll the paragraphs of how Daryl and Carol gravitated toward each other like magnets no matter the means of separation.

I’ll just spell it out like this: their bond supersedes all others, even Daryl’s bond with Rick. And with Daryl only accepting affection from those he trusts implicitly, Carol and Daryl have been the only potential “romantic” pairing that has ever fully made sense for his established character.

At least the character before Angela launched the grenade of Leah into the mix.

Leah was a fail from the start.

And you know what? I’m thinking that was largely intended (for various reasons) but I still think they could have shown Daryl as receptive to having a “romantic” relationship to those willfully blind to the possibility that he’s actually been in a “romantic” relationship with Carol since Season 2. Never mind that Carol and Daryl haven’t (yet) crossed certain physical boundaries yet. Emotionally? They are already there even if neither is able to admit it out loud with the actual words yet. But I digress. The people that never wanted to “see” Carol and Daryl as “romantic” because they couldn’t fathom Daryl as seeing Carol in that light had already deemed that Daryl just didn’t feel that way about her, that maybe he didn’t feel that way about anybody (if they couldn’t have their way and have him feel that way about their preferred choice for him, they preferred him alone), and Angela wanted to show them differently. To show them the light.

That said, if Angela was so hellbent on doing Leah? There were a multitude of better ways.

Here. I’ll give you one of them.

Daryl isolates himself from his family after Rick’s “death” same as he did in Angela’s version.

Carol’s been being pulled more and more to the Kingdom because Henry’s needing a mother figure is like catnip to her hurting natural-born, hurting Mama’s heart. So Daryl’s anchor to the man he’d matured into, the one with all these earned emotional attachments, is reeled back in, little by little, leaving him unmoored.

Dog literally runs into him just as before. It hardly makes sense given how young and floppy and uncoordinated puppies are and thus vulnerable to danger, but this is the least of things we need to worry about suspending disbelief for right? ;)

Dog and Daryl continue to have these run ins until Daryl decides to retrace the puppy’s clumsy trail and viola! He finds Leah’s cabin and Leah inside. She levels the same shotgun at him, they have a standoff, until---

Leah suddenly lowers the gun and incredulously says Daryl’s name.

That’s right. One simple change and Daryl and Leah have an undefined past already.

Daryl doesn’t completely let his guard down because he’s Daryl, but he relaxes enough that we see he doesn’t immediately regard Leah as dangerious to his own well-being.

From that point on, instead of tying Daryl up and threatening him, we could have been told the story of how they knew each other from before.

My version goes a little something like this--

Daryl met Leah through Merle. Merle, in turn, met Leah through the military before he got discharged. He and Leah had an ongoing “I scratch your itch if you scratch mine” thing and Leah? Well, she always had a bit of a soft spot/interest in Daryl that Daryl never really returned.

The thing is, though? With losing the chosen brother that filled the hole left behind by his lost blood brother Merle and losing Carol to her chasing after a chance of a new family (because she feels Daryl’s out of her reach too, our too blind and stupidly, silently in love idiots)? Daryl finds himself embracing the shared memories however minimal of that brief past and his grief and loneliness leave him receptive to Leah’s eventual advances in ways he never was before.

We’re still given hints of their unfolding relationship and we still don’t like it, but it makes more sense for Daryl to cling to the past when he feels he’s lost his future.

Leah still gives her ultimatum (there’s a reason she gravitated toward Merle in perhaps his most toxic state, she’s more than a little fucked up too) and it’s not as much of a hard sell that Daryl might be pulled in Leah’s direction when he feels Carol is all but lost to him.

Hell. They could have even explicitly discussed Carol. But wait! Angela would have never allowed that because she doesn’t want to shatter all the crackship dreams in one fell swoop.

But the story from that point on could have continued just as it has and probably I still wouldn’t have liked it but I could have at least bought it somewhat and understood it.

Obviously, it didn’t.

I don’t buy the Leah of it all. Angela built that “relationship” with monopoly money and it shows.

Because I don’t buy Leah period. I don’t buy Daryl giving even giving a shit about trying to or feeling like there’s a snowball’s chance to redeem her so I’m not engaged whatsoever with this Daryl double agent story and him even givign her crumbs about his real family.

That part rings false.

So that’s a big problem right there and we haven’t even gotten to the other part I don’t buy.

You know what else I don’t buy?

#2?

Why the hell are the Reapers so bloodthirsty for Maggie’s departure from this mortal coil?

Without giving better reasoning than they’re just cray-cray, the entire faceplants and considering it’s taken up about 70% of 11A’s focus? I’m pissed.

Because, IMHO, they should go big or go home on this to give it any entertainment value because it’s all stale, recycled air if not.

Maggie’s been established as a much darker character this season. Which led me to believer the Reapers probably had a legit beef against her, but it seems Angela is reluctant to go all that way down the rabbit hole and doesn’t want to commit to what could be a more entertaining and potentially fascinating story than just Maggie’s in the right, the Reapers are just evil.

Maggie is right about Negan, IMHO, but she’s also wrong in not listening to him when what he’s saying reeks of simple common sense. Ignoring sage advice makes her seem more like an angry toddler stamping her feet in defiance than the leader they are so bound and determined to tell us she is.

You know what? The window for me to give more than the half a fuck I’m giving right now as they beat this dead horse to dust closed when Maggie decided letting Negan rot in the ASZ jail cell was enough and spared him when she finally had her best chance to end him once and for all.

Maybe if they stopped having the same damn conversation and they didn’t take up 20% of the screen time left after the boring Reapers/Leah shit, I would be less resentful but I’m not and again, I’ll tell you why.

BECAUSE. We are in the last season of the OG TWD ever and this show has chosen to waste screen time on stories nobody cares about to the exclusion of the ones we’re yearning for more of.

Like ASZ. We’ve barely seen more than an hour of the eight hours devoted to Carol, Aaron, Rosita, Lydia, Judith, Kelly, Jerry and Co. in total. Especially since they’ve been trying to establish the Commonwealth on the side, too.

I mean, I never really expected to dig the Commonwealth so my expectations for it were lower than low so they’ve been exceeded at a miniscule level. But I expected and hoped for ASZ and those characters we’ve cared the most about to receive much more emphasis and the fact that they haven’t in this last season so far has been the biggest FAIL.

And okay. Selfishly, I want more Carol. She’s like salt. She makes almost everything go down better.

But really. Give me more of all the characters we actually care about, please. The Reapers and the offshoots from that story wheel aren’t it. I love Daryl but I hate this retread story for him. Leah is a weak point that pressed upon? Makes this weak ass arc collapse. Maggie and Negan are giving us nothing new. They are the definition of the word STALEMATE and that’s not what you want or need on the finale season of a show.

Yes, I have enjoyed the majority of the episodes overall, but that was because the moments I loved I weighted more than the ones I didn’t and know they have the most impact on the show down the road.

Probably 11A will fare better when all is said and done and the show can be binged but standalone? It’s been an overall disappointment and that saddens me more than I can say.

Anyway. I’m going to stop rambling now and try to psyche myself up for episode 8. I’ll be back with thoughts on it later, maybe.

Sorry for the word vomit, but I felt maybe I could in someway give voice to some of the feelings floating around out there and let you know that you are not alone.

Until later, lovelies.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #Shae's thinky thoughts #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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jmalkki · 4 years ago

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From head canon to on-screen reality

Episode 6 of Season 3. You, guys.

My. Goodness.

What oddly specific joy.

One has secretly hoped a scene of this nature to eventually make it onto the show, and the promo images promised it was coming now. So, one went in expecting to finally see on screen the sweet sweet scene of the couple all domestic, chilling on their bed, sharing thoughts; the one one has imagined so many times in various forms, be it in text or in illustrations. Seemingly topped with a kiss, as well - gorgeous for the unremarkable mundanity of itself, without any story points or grand gestures tied to it.

Though the promo image promised kiss was not to be seen, what the domestically set scene itself delivered in substance was such a validating treat one could not feel one bit amiss; something one couldn’t have expected, hoped for, or imagined to come worth.

The end scenes of the episode made some major personal head canons true on screen! Namely the fact of Paul immediately recognizing the nature of one talking by oneself as if to a lost loved one, and admitting carrying Hugh similarly with him after Dear Doctor’s death. And, the fact, that both of the men hate the augmentations on Paul’s arms.

Seemingly tiny things perhaps, but these have both been some of the most persistent themes in my past writing of these two. And much as I abhor to go back to my past scribbles, I felt compelled to quickly go through whole of the Honey Mushroom series, and collect below all of the narratives focused on Paul talking to Hugh in his mind, and the instances mentioning the shared bother of the spore drive augmentations.

Which now suddenly as if offer possible context for the on-screen dialogue:

“God, I hated those things.” “I hated them more.”

I realize this is quite individual a glee, specific to curious personal head canon nuggets (and perhaps to those who might’ve enjoyed the nuggets / nursed any similar own ideas), but I am beyond ecstatic for those nuggets to have now made it on screen and/or fit into the canon, complementary to the narrative!

How ever coincidental, I think one must thank at least Anne Cofell Saunders, the writer of the episode, for including these specific allusions / plot directions, and in doing so making reality of one’s particular head canons. And, that gratitude must also be extended to anyone else, who might’ve been involved in what ever capacity in the process of bringing these into the show’s in-universe reality.

Feels like such an immense affirmation of one’s year(s) spent passionately imagining these unmentioned-in-canon dimensions (regardless how ever fumblingly). Such joy to see these once dearly envisioned behind-the-scenes aspects brought on screen, and into the canon.

More small, but notable glees: Paul’s PADD on the nightstand. And the men sleeping on the ‘correct’ sides of the bed, which has also been a theme in exploring the character of Paul. (And, in fact, Paul scratching the augmentations/residuals, too *heehee*).

Okay. Let’s go.

Passages of the augmentations being a bother:

From my second ever narrative, and the first to mention the augmentations, if not yet for the precise shared discomfort factor. Also the first to feature Paul talking to Hugh after the death:

[He shifted on the chair and reached for his forearm. Feeling out the hard plastic augmentation with his fingers. Rubbing it in a circular motion on top of his muscles, letting the gentle pressure push against his bones.

They were another reason - the augmentations - why he had felt so bare at the gym dressing rooms. He had only ever really bared them in the engineering for their designed purpose, and with Hugh around in the sickbay or in the confinements of their quarters. He had showed them to few others of course on occasion, but on his own discretion. He wasn’t comfortable letting them ‘hang out’ like he had just done. It too left him feeling exposed.

“They keep insisting I go in for a medical examination”, Paul muttered out quietly, while skimming through his calendar, like he was expecting Hugh - his resident consultant on all things medical - to actually answer.]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

From my only ‘alternative future’ story, with the first ever allusion to the shared discomfort with the apparatus. Also the narrative, which solidified the idea of Paul harboring Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind well after the death:

[ Paul smiled. He put his hand in his hair again, mussed it around a bit, adjusting it from side to side, observing it closely from the mirror. “And you won’t mind this either?” He asked with a faint look of apprehension on his face, “it’s still getting thinner and thinner each year.” “You know I always loved that”, Hugh spoke to him with most affectionate tone, as Paul could feel fingers play with the little swirl of thinning hair on the back of his head, “it makes you look irresistibly manly.”

“Like these”, Hugh continued, as Paul raised his arms in front of himself, displaying the thick, fluffy white hair covering his forearms, “I love falling asleep into this softness.” “Well, you’re in luck then. They sure aren’t thinning any”, Paul snickered, “I think the hair on my head might be migrating there in fact”. He could hear Hugh chuckle and felt a light encouraging pat on his hips.

Paul turned away from the mirror and walked slowly to the small kitchen cabin in the corner of the room. “Always hated shaving any of that off for those spore drive ports, just so you know.” he could hear Hugh’s voice commenting back at him. Paul was replicating his morning drink. “You won’t mind me saying then, how glad I was to get those off eventually”, Paul conversed in his head as he watched the replicator form a cup of tea.

“Of course not, Mushroom”, Hugh sounded to respond from the bed, “we’ve been through this many times. You don’t need to feel sorry for getting rid of those.”

“Yeah…” Paul muttered as he walked back to the room with a fresh cup of tea in his hands, “it just felt then like I was throwing something of you away”, he thought sitting down on the bed, “I know it’s silly.”

“It is. You know I wasn’t too keen on those things ‘hogging’ your arms either”, Hugh let out a little laugh, “and you really haven’t thrown any of me away.”

Paul looked sheepishly down to his tea. He knew what was coming.

“Don’t you think you should?” Hugh asked with a slight hint of worry in his voice.]

- Becalmed

A short, based solely on the premise of the discomfort of the augmentations:

[ Hugh wakes up to it again. To Paul’s arm wrapping around him. Dang, it used to be one of the best feelings in the mornings to wake in the safety of his Honey Mushroom’s manly arms. Now, there’s often this unforeseen complication. And Hugh has in part himself to blame for it too.

“Mushroom”, Hugh tries to carefully arouse the sleeping man’s attention by shaking him a little. He gets no response.

“Honey, can you move your arm a bit”, Hugh tries a little louder and attempts to wiggle himself from the man’s grip, but Paul just mumbles something in his sleep and won’t move. The arm wants to hold on to Hugh. Dammit. He loves it, but just not like this.

“Paul!” Hugh makes no attempt to discretion anymore, “will you let go of me!”

“What!?” Paul wakes up shouting irately at the abrupt wake-up call.

“Your damn augmentation is boring into my hip again”, Hugh lets the understandably agitated response get to him and snaps back in equal tone, which is far more harsh than necessary.

“Well, who the fuck’s fault is it, it’s there!?” Paul huffs back, fiercely as only provoked Paul would - even when half asleep, like he is right now.

“I know, I know. And you’re very welcome, by the way”, Hugh sneers, “just move it”.

“Fine!” Paul scoffs and yanks his arm to his own side of the bed, turning his back to Hugh as he does so. Hugh turns back to face his side as well.

The doctor then immediately feels regret for having gotten so agitated. He’s upset for the situation - lamenting over losing those comfy arms for the good of this ship -, not mad at the man.

How difficult for the man himself it must be to adjust? And Paul hasn’t once complained. Oddly so.

Hugh had just let his own less than satisfactory wake-up ruin Mushroom’s morning as well, hadn’t he?

“I’m sorry, Paul”, Hugh turns to look at the man over his shoulder, "I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not upset with you".

“I know”, Paul’s sleepy voice sounds faintly somewhere behind the man’s back. He’s not turning back around.

Hugh worries his outburst might scare Paul to thinking twice before embracing him again. And he loves his cuddly Paul.

“Of course you’re still welcome to snuggle”, Hugh assures Paul, letting the regret sound in his voice.

But the man doesn’t hear him, he’s fast asleep again. And Hugh’s bed feels that much emptier without the safety of his man’s arms around him.]

- Losing Your Arms

From one, which references events referenced on screen, namely the introduction of the (preliminary) augmentations by revealing them installed on Paul’s arms:

[ Maybe it had indeed been but a dream after all. Like all of this. Perhaps like all the other times he remembers too. Those instances when they had been somewhere quite surprising - and admittedly quite exciting -, getting distracted by each other from their intended tasks.

Like, when at the Medbay, setting up these brand new spore drive ports on his arms, for a brief stolen moment before the evening shift had arrived to relief Hugh.

Indeed, occasionally he had been back as they were in the middle of hurriedly moving that task to their quarters to follow up on those distractions. Like they must have done just now, judging from the state in which their clothes lay scattered around the room and by the selection of tools haphazardly laid on the coffee table next to them. Like they ever really had any intention to use those once here on this couch.

Paul regards the augmentations on his forearms.

He’s getting a lot of extra orientation practice to the devices through these repeats however, Paul muses. Would Hugh notice anything? Will Mushroom have hard time explaining to the doctor after all of this, how he’s so well adjusted to these things so soon after installation?

He realizes this right now as he catches himself cursing them, positioning his arms so that the ports wouldn’t chafe against their bare skins. Is it too late to rethink these apparatus?]

- Come Again

From one, where Paul regards the augmentations at Hugh’s wake:

[ Paul remembers wrapping his arms around that waist each and every night.

He shifts his arms. The spore drive ports on his forearms, beneath the layers of sleeves, suddenly feel so alien again right then.

It’s not his first time in civilian clothing with them (thanks to his insistence on own comfort wear out of the uniform), but it is the first time with them off duty, since he’s off the ship. And they feel grossly out of place in these Earthly settings.

Hugh too had come to dislike them - his own invention - as soon as it had become apparent how they were an obstruction between their embraces.

Paul should get them removed, if they’ll no longer serve a purpose.

He takes his hands out of the pockets, folds his arms over his chest and goes back to staring across the room with what must appear quite a stern look.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

There was also one about the conceiving of the idea of the augmentations, where, however, the bother factor was not yet in sight:

Doctor, Not an Engineer

And this one, which doesn’t technically count for similar 'shared bother’ reasons either, perhaps, but is a whole narrative very much build around the inconvenience of the augmentations:

Performance Issues

Plus, couple saucy ones, which I won’t list here, lest I actually ever want to share this post *ha* More below:

While at it, (and, perhaps more importantly) here are the narratives build around the idea fact (!!) of Paul living with Hugh ‘alive’ in his mind after the death - in narrative order (some already featured above, too). Hardly captured by a single quote, but for a taste:

[ He had finally heard it. The voice. Hugh’s voice trying to calm him down, “Paul. You need to let yourself be upset. You need to let the tears come.” ]

- We Are Undone, But Soldier On

[ ‘Honey? Are you drunk?’

A delightful, relieved curiosity filled Paul’s mind momentarily as he peered into the darkness of the room wide-eyed, to see where the gentle, familiar voice calling him out was coming from.

Then he remembered, and with a loud, derisive scoff sank back into his darkened state of mind, slumping back down on the couch.

“So fucking what!? If I am.” ]

- A Better Man

[ None of this should matter. Not the suit, not the event, not the crowd. Paul is not here, and Hugh is not gone. Not yet anyway. They are still very much together, and just about to leave somewhere off by themselves, once done with this circus. To enjoy each others’ company somewhere away from all of this dreary pretend. Such a presentation, and for whose sake? “You don’t mind, if I’m not honoring you in accordance to the Fleet standards, do you?” He still gets no response. Hugh hasn’t talked to him since Paul disembarked that cursed ship. He’s still here though, isn’t he? Paul would surely feel it, if the man left.]

- Honoring One’s Heart

[ “Yes. We are too damn young to be thinking about retiring yet.” Paul said and turned to look by his side instinctively, only to see there was really no-one there, of course. He let out a little huff and smiled to himself. Then turned back to face the beach in front of him, and paused to think again. “It will surely be painful to be near it all on the Discovery”, his mind went on, “but I’m not quite ready yet to let go of what we had there either”. “Our only home together?” Hugh came back beside him. “Our first home together”, Paul specified, “so far…"]

- First Home

[ “Dear, I’m home”. He can just imagine himself standing there at the door of their cabin, staring into the empty, cold room that used to be. All the pleasant memories now tainted. How exactly will this be helping him to get over? “But please, do remind me again”, Paul whispers to himself, and hears a heavy, sympathetic sigh in reply, as if preparing itself for telling him of all the ways he’s doing the right thing to move on, and how it’s proud of him for not giving up, and how it supports him, and all that fucking sentimental nonsense, it’s had to tell him already, over and over. And which yet Paul needs to hear. To keep faith. To not forget. ]

- Watching Over You

[ “Hmh”, Paul shrugs, taking in the thought, suddenly a slight twinkle in his eyes, “…but I have too much ‘unbridled passion’ you say?” he then yields, disregarding his persistent gravity, as he apprehensively turns his playful smirk at Hugh, readying himself for this blessed dream to end short. But the man stays here. Startlingly, staring right back at Paul’s surprised gaze with almost haunting clarity. Paul’s grip on the newly corporeal man tightens in a moment of incredulity. For the first time in weeks - but which feels like a year - Paul is able to see the man, to look into those loving eyes again, bathe in that radiant smile, and respond to all of the emotions he now thirstily reads from the man’s beautiful face. And fuck, if there aren’t tears on Paul’s own. The man really is right here.]

- Passion of a Vulcan Like Mind

[ He could feel Hugh’s gaze on himself. “You realize, you actually wanted me gone today?”, he heard Hugh speak out gently, “I got in your way”.

Paul’s smile turned to an anguished frown. The tone of understanding in Hugh’s voice hurt him. “Never”, he attested firmly. He lay there as still as possible, staring at the ceiling, afraid to move too much, or turn to glance at his side, lest it chased away this sensation of Hugh beside him.

“You are being stubborn again, Mushroom”, Hugh whispered with a hint of worry in his voice, “why do you still cling on so desperately?”. He was so close Paul could almost feel the breath on him - or was that the sea breeze perhaps - “You said you’d be okay, if I left - why won’t you let me then?”]

- Becalmed (alt)

#star trek discovery #culmets #paul stamets #hugh culber #space boos #spaceboos #star trek #head canon

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itoldsunset · 4 years ago

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the hammock scene we know and love

so i haven’t gotten around to watching the whole 12/17 talk yet, but i wanted to share this little nugget of info with y’all because it’s so cool and also happens to be about my favorite scene of episode 3, and also maybe of all of part 1.

the hammock scene was supposed to take place at around 4-5am, and it was originally supposed to be filmed at that time. but it was raining that morning, so they had to switch cues and ended up having pp shoot the red bra/mirror scene instead (which we saw in one of the documentary episodes). which meant that they ended up having to film the hammock scene at sunset, even though what we see on the screen is a sunrise.

in the talk, kru jeab said it took them about 4-5 hours to film that one scene because they had to work with the sunlight, and p’es explained in this tweet that bkpp basically had to re-perform the scene over and over at different levels of sunlight, so that it could all be cut together in the editing process to make it look like a sunrise.

#i told sunset about you #itsay #itsay translated #textpost #i'm so impressed by everything they do #also all these weather + natural obstacles!!

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labyrinthsofyou · 5 years ago

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for you always

pairing: wong yukhei & female reader

genre: fluff

words: 6, 851

summary: in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

the thing about wong yukhei is that when he is in deep thought, it is difficult to get him out of it. his thoughts run with the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ and every type of scenario and possibility. his brows will furrow the slightest and he grows so unusually silent that it makes you worry and love him a little more all at once.

to get him back sometimes involves a few kisses, some soothing touches or food because a way to get to yukhei is through his stomach.

apparently not right now though.

a good solid two minutes since you walked in, your knock on the frosted glass door getting no response from the other side. next to the tv by the door you stand, hoping he senses another presence or smell the food filtering through the space to eventually sit up and see you. but really, you get nothing from him.

your gaze rests on yukhei sprawled on the wooden floor under the dim lights of the practice room. his arm is thrown over his eyes and gives the shirt he is wearing a bit of a rise for you to see a tiny peak of his skin underneath. you watch the steady rise and fall of his chest and for a moment you wonder if he has truly fallen asleep like that until his hands suddenly move to rub across his face as he clears his throat. he lets out a groan that sounds so frustrated and tired and mumbles something incoherent to your ears.

he seriously doesn’t know.

“french fry for your thought?”

you make your presence known, the sound of your question gentle to your ears but loud to his. yukhei jolts up and catches your reflection in the mirrored walls and wonders if his tired eyes are making him see things. but then he turns his head to fully grasp the sight of you a few feet away from him clutching paper bags. the small smile on your face differs from the way his mouth parts slightly with confusion. you know his brain is in overdrive, trying to sort through all the dance steps and lyrics and schedules to figure out your presence in front of him.

“what are you doing here?” he finally asks, pushing himself off the floor and dusting off his sweatpants. yukhei runs his fingers through his damp hair before proceeding to move towards you.

you let out a soft chuckle and scrunch up your nose. “you should really check your phone,” you insist with a grin.

yukhei is a handful of steps away when you know realization hits him because his eyes widen and he curses underneath his breath.

he forgot.

when you had mentioned the new restaurant that had recently opened and the raving positive reviews a few days ago, yukhei kissed you on the cheek and smiled brightly.

“we can go check it out,” he had suggested.

you had looked at him uncertainly because his schedules had been packed with practices and flights. the nights you got to seeing him, which hadn’t been much either, drained he had been.

“it’s okay.” and a grin you had returned his way as your hand reached to thread through his hair to massage his scalp. “maybe when you get some decent rest time we’ll go. you haven’t gotten much sleep lately and if this place is really as good as everyone says it is, then i am sure it will still be open when your schedule clears up,” you had quietly reassured him.

yukhei had looked at you for a moment then because in his head too long it had been since he took you out on a proper date. all he had wanted was a nice night out with you.

“it’s a date,” he had promised you.

then yukhei had held your face in his large hands, squishing your cheeks while placing a kiss on your forehead and lips to shush your protests of rest and much needed sleep for him.

and now the guilt fills his heart and is written on his very tired face that you see so clearly once he is directly in front of you.

“everything just ran late today. the photoshoot this morning and the interview and i’ve been trying to go over the schedule and they’ve been switching up the choreography and adding to it and i wanted to get it right and-”

on your toes you go to tenderly connect his lips to yours, stopping his rambling and his running mind all the while feeling the pulls on your heartstrings. his messy hair, the dark circles underneath his eyes and the light sheen covering his face, neck and arms with the edge of the collar of his shirt wet, so exhausted he looks.

too many times he overworks himself.

when you release his mouth, yukhei doesn’t dare to pull far back. instead he presses his forehead to yours, disregarding the stickiness and sweatiness of it. his hands gently grip your sides, tugging on the denim jacket and pulling your body close. his familiar comforting scent of musk and spring fresh detergent is mixed with the hours he has spent dancing.

his eyes find yours and how bad yukhei is feeling is evident in his gaze on you. “i’m sorry,” he quietly apologizes. “i really am.”

a soft hum you give him. “i know.”

your calm and gentle voice has his head spinning because the warm smile you are giving him and the tone of your voice is not what yukhei is expecting and deserving at the moment. “you know, i didn’t even get a proper ‘hello’ from you,” you murmur sweetly.

you watch the corners of his mouth tentatively turn up as the heat rises to his face. “hi,” he whispers.

“hi,” you reply back, leaning up once more to give him another kiss in hopes to pacify the guilt he is feeling despite knowing fully well that this is eating him up right now and will for a little while.

yukhei stretches his neck slightly forward, his mouth softly grasping on your lips for a mere moment longer until you tug away from him and take a small step back. “i have something.” then one of the paper bags you hold up in front for him and the familiar golden arches printed on the front from his favorite fast food place comes to view. that happy smile of his you love slowly comes out.

“i stood there hoping the smell would have made you look up or something but you didn’t,” you say, your voice laced with surprise. yukhei shakes his head because he really did not notice. you wave the bag as his eyes shift between yours and the food you are holding. “i hope you haven’t eaten yet because if you have, then i think i’ll be upset.” you finish your words with a playful pout that makes him chuckle lowly.

another turn of his head he gives as he says quietly, “no, i haven’t eaten yet.” not since the lunch he had in the car ride from the station to practice.

yukhei watches as your face lights up with his response. the food he is about to take and hold for you, but you turn, taking a step forward and glancing from the floor to the couch in the nook of the room before your footsteps move towards the latter. you settle the food on the little white table by the wall before giving it a push until it’s somewhat centered to the seats. you sit on the soft leather, curling a leg underneath you while placing your bag on the empty space beside you.

but in place yukhei still is as he stares after you, his eyes fill with wonder because he doesn’t know how to describe you right now.

you look up, finding him standing motionless and watching you.

“baby, come eat. the food is getting all cold.”

yukhei clears his throat before nodding. he walks over to grab his flannel laying on the large speakers and reaches into the pocket for his phone. across the bright screen he notices the time and the six messages and three missed calls from you and ten and immediately wonders if it’s because of you.

shitty doesn’t cover how yukhei currently feels.

yukhei takes a seat next to you, lightly tossing the shirt to land next to your bag. he slips his phone into his pocket and makes a mental note to call ten later. he moves forward, wanting to help you take out the food you bought, but the gentle squeeze you give to his knee and your quiet words telling him not to worry motions him back. so yukhei sits against the seat a little more. his body relaxes and sinks into the couch while his hand rests on your lower back and feels the soft material of your denim jacket.

you pass him his favorite chicken sandwich and some napkins that he takes with whispered words of appreciation. “start eating,” you say, turning back to the task of removing all that you had bought.

yet yukhei waits, in spite of the hunger starting to call him and looks on as you pull out the fries, salads and chicken nuggets along with the soft drinks and two more sandwiches.

“are you feeding an army?” he questions in amusement at the amount of food spread in front of his eyes.

you chuckle though, “no, just you and me, babe. we can save whatever we don’t finish, but i figured you would be hungry.” two bottles of cold water you pull out for him to see. “and thirsty. i just wanted to make sure i had enough for us.”

and it takes a minute for yukhei to process your words. “you haven’t eaten yet?” because he thinks that in between all that time waiting for him you might have and you being here is just to make sure he is fed.

you rip the straw wrappers and slip it into the soft drinks, placing his favorite cola in front of him. “it’s not a date if only one of us eats, is it? besides, i wanted to eat with you.” and it’s the truth because with his schedules, the simplicity of having dinner with him means so much to you.

yukhei nods even though your back is to him. almost three hours long he has made you wait, he is certain you probably are starving yourself and that this doesn’t classify as a date anymore.

you make sure he has what he needs before you pick up a sandwich for yourself and settle back to snuggle into his side, bringing your other leg onto the couch. the hand yukhei had on your back moves to pull you closer to him, erasing the remaining space with his large hand resting on your knee.

the constant need to touch you and reassure him of your presence never changes.

you unwrap your sandwich with him following, and for a while, silence ensues as the food fills your stomachs. you don’t fail to notice how yukhei finishes his sandwich within minutes or how he eats the salad as if he hasn’t had a meal all day. when he’s dipping the fries between his fingers into the ketchup, yukhei questions you softly and curiously. “how did you get up here?” he plops them into his mouth.

security is tight here for protection. coming up here is impossible.

yukhei turns to looks at you. a sip of your drink you take before you give him a tiny grin. “hmm, i pulled some strings.” your teasing response has him staring at you in interest as he lets out a low chuckle. his thumb begins to gently rub the small circular motions on your skin. you lick the corner of your mouth, shifting your eyes to look down at the almost finished sandwich in your hands.

“i waited for you to call to let me know if you were running late or we just had to postpone…” you say, your voice softening.

because yukhei is always good with that, letting you know and making sure you were aware of anything that changes.

“i was afraid to call you just in case you were in the middle of something important and i didn’t want to disturb you. and i know sometimes things change last minute. so, i waited for a little bit and you still hadn’t called so i texted you. and when you didn’t respond to them after a while, i called you. i guess you were busy or your phone was silent… because you didn’t answer either.” you glance up then, to see his eyes on you. a faint shrug of your shoulders and a sad smile you offer him. “i was just worried that something happened because you always let me know.” yukhei doesn’t miss the faint crack in your voice.

you place a hand over his and clasp the top of it. “so I ended up calling ten just to make sure everything was okay. he said you had stayed behind.” yukhei nods along, eyes going down to the food and feeling the guilt picking at him.

when your gaze rises to find that he’s not looking at you, you tip your head towards his, giving him a nudge to do so. and once yukhei does, you give him a comforting smile. “he came back here to help me talk to security and even bought me up here. i promised him fresh baked cookies and you owe him dinner now,” you finish with a gentle laugh, hoping he will know it’s okay.

but instead, an uneasy chuckle comes out of yukhei, his mind thinking about what you had been thinking during that time. “i didn’t mean to make you worry.” he flips his hand over to intertwine your fingers together. “i really am sorry,” he apologizes once more, his tone deep and regretful.

you nod at his response. “what’s going on?” you inquire quietly.

yukhei is silent for a minute, watching the round movements of his thumb before lifting his eyes to you. a weak smile momentarily forms on his face before it disappears.

“i was just having trouble focusing today. they switched up the choreography a few times. everyone was picking it up like that and i just wasn’t getting it smooth like them.” you remain hushed as he lets out a weary breath remembering all the beats and steps he missed. “i just want to make sure to get the dances right. i don’t want to let anyone down.” a shrug he gives you. “maybe just nerves or something. i don’t know,” yukhei frowns with uncertainty and shrugs again, his attention returning to pick through the fries.

it’s quiet for a moment as you stare at him, feeling the ache in your chest at the pressure he puts on himself. even when he says with the bright beam across his face and his voice confident that he doesn’t worry what others say, times like this you know he hears it all. so much hard work and dedication he puts into every opportunity he is given to prove himself to the people watching him and to make his fans proud.

“do you know what i think?” yukhei brings his gaze back up to meet yours. with all your heart because you know it to be the truth, you remind him with a grin full of sincerity and certainty, “i think you’ll do amazing.”

the blush on his cheeks immediately rises and the tip of his ears turn red while the corners of his lips go upwards the slightest. “that’s not fair. you always think so,” yukhei says because you always do tell him that.

you playfully scoff. “because you do. you always do,” you emphasize each word to make your point.

every time you watch him, he shines on stage. you put the unfinished sandwich down and wipe your hands on a napkin before turning back to him. “today was just an off day, you know. we all have them, so don’t worry. but i do think the lack of rest is also taking a toll on you too. you need sleep, baby.” he hears the concern in your voice and faintly nods in agreement. you raise your hand to stroke his cheek and like a puppy, yukhei affectionately nuzzles into the palm of it.

“but you’ll be amazing, okay? i know you will be. and i bet by tomorrow you’ll be able to do the steps with your eyes closed,” you tell him, words soft and reassuring.

his mouth forms a gentle smile before he leans over to pucker them against your cheek. and when yukhei pulls back, he notices the mischievous look you throw his way.

“so… you think you can spoil me and show me your solo now?” you ask with hope and interest laced in your voice.

the first time you asked him, yukhei had shaken his head with the boyish grin on his face and had said it was top secret. so you give it another try with your question now, wishing for the response to differ. but he laughs, that infectious sound making you happy. “you will see it like everyone else!” yukhei answers as he dips another fry into the ketchup to eat.

“you know, after i said yes when you asked me out, i expected this as an advantage,” you playfully huff, rolling your eyes. “do i at least get a hint? that’s the least you can do since i’m currently feeding you.”

yukhei purses his lips and looks to the ceiling, thinking of what he can give away before snapping his fingers. he leans over to place his mouth besides your ear, his warm breath fanning against your skin.

“body rolls,” he murmurs lowly, his tone sultry.

almost immediately you feel the heat rising in your body and your face turning flushed at the thoughts of him doing them on stage. and yukhei shifts back in time to admire your reaction as his perfectly sculpted eyebrows wiggle up and a smirk graces his face. you lightly swat his chest as he tries to covers his mouth to lower the sound of his loud laughter. “that’s all you get! you have to be surprised!” he says between his giggles through his hand.

the glare you shoot his direction has you earning another kiss on your cheek.

“tease,” you tell him before shifting to grab one of the paper bags, ready to show him the final note to dinner. but once you turn around to look at him, you find his hopeful eyes are fixed on you.

“you’ll be there, right?” yukhei prompts, his tone the opposite of how he sounded seconds ago.

you are as much as you can. and even when you can’t, he always comes back to tell you about it and it feels like you had been. you hold out your pinky that has him hooking onto it within seconds.

“definitely. lightstick and all,” you promise with a beam.

yukhei nods, letting out a breath caught in his throat and smiles widely, satisfied with your response. he gestures to the paper bag still in your grasp. “what is that? do you have more food?” he drops the fries in his hand and takes a drink of his cola.

and you chuckle almost sheepishly, tugging out a small insulated bag and pulling out the cup of ice cream made just for two. “surprise!”

yukhei laughs wondering if this is for him or you because of your love for anything sweet. he takes the cold dessert from your hand and eyes the fruits and the drizzling of condense milk over the strawberry ice cream that is his favorite.

he feels the tug on his heart.

to the smallest details you pay attention to make yukhei thinks right now you just might be perfect.

“it shouldn’t be too melted,” you insist, hoping the insulated bag actually works. you take out the two spoons and hand him one.

yukhei takes off the clear plastic lid, the scent of sugar and fruits rise through the air. just the tiniest bit soft the ice cream is as he digs his spoon in to get a little bit of everything. but instead of taking that first bite, yukhei holds out the scoop for you to eat. you grin before opening your mouth for it. the satisfied sound you release when the cold and sweetness hit your tongue has him amused and thinking of all the other times he has heard it.

and once the ice cream is more than half gone and yukhei doesn’t think he can eat anymore, you take it from his hands with glee. he giggles at your insatiable sweet tooth before he rinses his mouth with the water you bought. he stretches his arms up and drapes it behind you, providing you the nook and extra space to curl into him.

“i always wonder how it’s really like to be in these rooms. you spend so much time here and i see your lives that it actually feels… weird being in here,” you remark, observing the room.

his life in the practice room yukhei describes to you and you see through a phone screen every once in a while. the hours and sweat put into here you see on him when it’s late and he comes through the door with exhaustion painted on his face and when he’s under the brilliant lights on stage giving everything into a performance.

your comment has him smiling. “it’s nothing much here,” he tells you because really, it’s not much.

but still, between his words, you know he’s proud.

yukhei motions to the floor. “that’s the floor you found me on when you walked in.” he points to the music system next. “that’s where we blast the music that you can hear five doors down.” he moves his finger to the water dispenser in the corner. “that’s the same dispenser we poured the coke in and had cola water for about a week.” he laughs at the memory as you murmur your disbelief before his hand waves to the mirrored walls. “and we have those so we can see how handsome and sexy we are when we are doing our body rolls,” yukhei finishes confidently with a beam.

his descriptions have you giggling as you angle your head up. yukhei glances down to see the sparkle in your gaze and the faint and flirtatious smile. “i think i like the mirrored walls the best,” you whisper sweetly even if your thoughts about it are not.

it takes yukhei a few seconds to register what you are saying before he raises an eyebrow. “look who’s being a tease now,” he retorts with his voice deep.

whatever concentration he has to muster up tomorrow to get all the dance steps correct yukhei thinks will be nonexistent now because his mind will be filled with you against those mirrored walls. and right now, how tired he is and how he wants you is a terrible combination.

still yukhei lowers his head, hoping to erase the space between your mouths even if it is just for a kiss. quickly though you move away and stand up, leaving him in surprise and his lips in the air while you are in fit of light giggles. the wink you throw his way has him clutching his heart and feigning in pain. you turn away from him with a chuckle to walk over to the windows to peak pass the drawn shades, admiring the city night and lights from this high up.

yukhei sits on the couch though, content to watch you begin to walk around the room and explore while taking the occasional spoonful of the sweet treat still in your hands. even if there is really not much in here, he still loves letting you see his life and sharing all he can with you despite how this night isn’t supposed to go like this. and once you stop at the other side of the room, taking interest in the piano you have seen them play with in their video lives, for the first time of the night yukhei notices it.

that navy mini dress dotted with the pale pink petals you are wearing, that flows pass your hips to stop mid-thigh and shows off enough legs that makes him chew on the inside of his cheeks, is that one you had worn from your very first date together.

like the back of his hand yukhei remembers that night.

he can still recall how nervous he had been because all he wanted was for the night to go well. he can still hear his voice when he had blurted out how pretty you looked when he finally approached you in front of the restaurant. he can still smell the delicate bouquet of mismatched floras because he hadn’t remembered to ask what your favorite was. he can still feel your lips lightly against his warm cheek when you had thanked him to hide your shy face from his eyes. he can still picture every smile and that glimmer in your eyes when you laughed at his stories. and he can still replay it like a scene from a drama when he had finally reached for your hand and how they just seemed to fit together.

so enamored yukhei had been with you that night.

and even now, he still is.

the way excitement drips in your voice when you talk about something you absolutely love. the way your cheeks heat quickly when he stares at you a minute too long or gives you a compliment because embarrass you still get. the way you always let him know what he does to you feels good so he can do it again. the way you trust him every time he takes your hand and you hold onto him tightly never wanting to let go.

and as his eyes go from you to the leftover food in front of him, yukhei thinks of how in times like this when annoyed he expects you to be because he forgot. but you surprise him with dinner and still wait to eat with him.

or how tired you should be because he doesn’t see you as often as you both would like. instead when you do finally see one another, you hug him too tightly and whisper that distance makes the heart fonder and reunions even better.

yukhei doesn’t know if the universe can ever really understand what he feels for you.

your fingers lightly press down on the black and white keys, the sound of the piano echoes in the room. you twist around then, in hopes of asking him to join you at the other side for a fun impromptu concert or dance. but what you get is yukhei staring at you. and unlike how he was when you first walked in, happy he looks.

“i am in love with you,” yukhei declares, a soft beam illuminating his face.

he truly is.

like the sounds from the piano, the words yukhei says echo in the room and in your heart.

your face heats up and you bite the corner of your mouth while the butterflies form in your stomach. for a minute you stare at him, wondering if he knows how his words will always affect you.

you move away from the piano to cross the floor back to him. his smile never disappears but only seems to widen as you get nearer. when you are a few steps away, yukhei holds out a hand for you take. the ice cream you place beside the remaining dinner on the table. your eyes never falter from his as you place your hand in his and he tugs you forward to straddle his lap.

yukhei brings your enclosed hands to his mouth to press a kiss to your knuckles once and then again. your free hand lifts to affectionately cup his cheek while his goes to the hem of your dress, feeling the material between his fingers before they find their place on your thigh. your position makes him tilt his head a bit up, the lights making the glimmer in his wide eyes so clear. a quiet hum you give him as his hand moves to gently knead your flesh.

“do you know that?” his question comes out softly in an almost sing song way that makes you unable to fight the breathless laugh coming out. that smile on his face stretches into something almost lovestruck and yukhei feels his cheekbones hurting a little as he repeats again, “i’m in love with you.”

and yukhei says it as if you don’t know it already.

but you do.

every time he looks at you with the stars in his eyes. every time he hugs you close and takes a deep breath. and every time he whispers those three words into your ears, you know it and feel it.

“you’re so cheesy…” your voice trails off while you caress his warm and soft skin.

you want to tell him more. you want him to know how he has filled your world with so many new experiences and so much wonderments. you want to tell him how in love you are with him too.

but you don’t know if your voice can uphold to all that though because the way yukhei is looking at you has the warmth blooming in your chest and the sight of him becoming the tiniest bit hazy.

so the only thing you can think to do is bend forward slowly until you catch his mouth in yours. and unlike the enticing kisses when you are tempting him or the tender kisses when he’s about to fall asleep, this one is passionate in hopes that all that you want to say he can feel.

your hand reach for his jawline to tip his head to the position of your desire. his tongue gently swipes across your lips before sliding in. your mouth feels silky and with the added hint of strawberries from the ice cream, yukhei thinks you taste better than the actual dessert of the night.

he lets go of your hand to find its place at the back of your neck and glides his long fingers up to tangle in your hair, cradling your head. the blissful sigh you let out sounds like music to his ears. his touch on your thigh leaves to place at the curve of your waist. his soft grip makes you arch your back while you cup his face with your hand. the notes of citrus from your perfume and the scent vanilla from your body wash surrounding yukhei has him feeling dizzy in the best possible way.

in between the slick sounds of your wet mouths together, you hear the inhale he takes before he intensifies the kiss a little more. the warmth in your chest spreads to your entire body and the jacket and dress feels too hot to wear.

you give him a parting suck to his lips before you finally let go. you feel lightheaded as air fights to fill your lungs once more. yet you find yukhei staring intently at you with half lidded eyes and his puffy lips turning into a lazy smile. drunk from your kiss he looks while your face is flushed, the fluttering in your stomach seemingly wanting to stay.

yukhei remains unmoving, his breaths gradually evening out while he mesmerizes your own pair of swollen lips forming the sweet smile. he loves everything he sees in front of him right now. your hands shift for the pads of your thumbs to wipe the mess of your saliva around his mouth. yukhei doesn’t bother wiping his off you though. nor does he try to be subtle as his stare moves from your eyes to your mouth because still so kissable they are him.

“i like kissing you,” yukhei states softly with a pleased grin.

you feel the heat on your cheeks intensify at his smooth words. and despite how you have wiped the messiness of the kiss off his skin, you shift to give him one more to satiate him. yukhei meets you in the middle to close the gap.

it’s a gentle brush that moves in slow motion and makes your heartbeat thump a beat quicker in anticipation until he finally closes his plump lips around yours.

yukhei will kiss you forever if he can.

a tender nip to your lower lip yukhei leaves before his mouth slowly trails off, grazing your skin until he is able to bury his face into the crook of your neck. he encircles you with his strong arms and inhales deeply.

you let out a laugh that warms his soul, twisting and tugging your squished and trapped arms out from between your bodies. your arms loop around him despite how his hair and eyelashes tickle you and the closeness of your bodies make you still feel too warm. your hand reaches for the nape of his neck to gently scrape your short nails on his skin. closer he hugs your body to press into your touch, clinging onto you like a koala to a tree.

the irony of this sight if someone is to see this now. how yukhei is inches taller and physically stronger than you in every sense. how he always insists on protecting you and making sure you are okay. but in this moment, all you want to do is to protect him and make sure he is okay.

you wish you can stop time for a little while just to stay like this with him. your head turns the slightest until you are able to place a kiss to his temple.

“i love you,” you whisper softly against his skin.

and you tell him as if he has forgotten.

but he hasn’t.

his embrace around you tightens, your words making him feel like he’s the luckiest in the world. your touch begins to gently run up and down the expanse of his back, soothing the tired muscles. the quiet breaths he hears from you are calming his thoughts and lulling him.

yukhei wonders if any words can ever be enough for you because sometimes, he thinks there might not be. no words he thinks might ever be able to fully encompass what he feels for you, how he feels for you.

his lips pucker against your neck.

“i love you more,” he murmurs, his voice warm and deep.

until he can find those words, yukhei will tell you that.

a faint smile ghosting on his face you feel even if you are unable to see it. the small space you close between your heads when you rest yours against his. yukhei cannot help but let his eyes flutter shut. the touch you have on him feels too soothing and so good after everything today. he wishes he can teleport and be in a bed now. he wishes the world will stop turning so he can rest with you.

“if you keep doing that, i might fall asleep right here,” yukhei mumbles into the peacefulness of the room.

so sleepy he sounds and you think you would let him be if he does fall asleep right now. instead a soft hum you give him as your movements gradually slows down but never stops.

“what time is your schedule tomorrow?” you gently ask him.

silent yukhei remains for a minute until he lets out a breath.

“i have a fitting in the morning,” he mutters but you hear him clearly. he pauses then, trying to remember the schedule that had been presented to him hours ago. “and afterwards there’s another interview and a recording and then practice.” until late he wants to add but doesn’t.

another kiss yukhei bestows upon your skin before he slowly lifts his head. his arms around you loosens but he never lets them drop as he leans back the slightest into the couch. you hold his face in your hand as the other you place on his chest, fingering the worn material of his shirt. his stare he keeps steady to yours when his head turns to press a kiss into the palm of your hand.

“when promotions are over and after the tour, i’ll make it up-” for a second time of the night you silence yukhei with your lips to his. soft and sweet just like him the kiss is.

you don’t want him feeling the guilt over this anymore. even if this is not the night originally planned, you are happy just like this with burgers and strawberry ice cream because you are with him.

when you pull back with a final peck to his mouth, you give yukhei a soft beam that has his heart wanting to burst. he will make it up to you even when you tell him he doesn’t have to. his nose he affectionately brushes against yours.

“it’s late. are you ready to go?” because much needed rest he needs for tomorrow. you angle your head, tenderly smoothing his hair. “i’ll drive you back to the dorm,” you whisper.

yukhei offers you a short nod. “i’ll leave a little early and get back to the dorm before we’re supposed to leave for the fitting.” his hand covers yours on his chest, fingers closing around it. “i just want to go home tonight.”

and it takes you a second until you understand what he truly means, feeling your heart melting.

the dorms yukhei stays when he is doing promotions and the schedule is too hectic and too long that sometimes he forgets what day it is.

but with you in the tiny apartment with the shared bedroom, with his green toothbrush besides your pink one in the bathroom and the strip of photobooth pictures of funny faces and kisses is taped on the refrigerator door is where yukhei considers his home. the extra thirty minutes of sleep he will lose from the traveling. but the thought of holding you for a little longer, of hearing your breaths beside him calming him to sleep and waking up next to you and giving you a parting kiss before he heads to work makes it worth it.

“i like the sound of that,” you murmur almost shyly, face warming once more.

yukhei sees the sparkle in your eyes you can’t hide.

your lips connect to his for a short kiss before you carefully unfold your legs, feeling your muscles stretch for the first time in a while. yukhei keeps a hand on your waist when your feet touch the floor. you turn, your hand you offer to him to hold as you giggle and give him a little pull up and off the couch.

yukhei stretches, his long arms extending as high as they can go towards the ceiling. you turn towards the table, the leftover dinner you sort through to make the small pile to bring back home and eventually eat. yukhei throws on his flannel and pushes back his hair. he makes sure the couch is free of crumbs before helping you clean up.

once the mess is cleared and the take home food is placed into the bags, you quickly scan around to make sure nothing is left behind. yukhei gently hangs your bag over your shoulder and feels for his phone in his pocket. he takes the food from you to take your hand, fingers linking tightly together. he shuts off the light and closes the door behind him. the short walk to the elevator at the end of the hall is silent, but he doesn’t mind.

as you wait and watch the numbers change to your floor, yukhei glances down when you cover up your unexpected yawn. he bends to press a kiss to your forehead, his lips staying pressed to your skin seconds longer than usual. you fix your eyes up at him when he pulls back, your face warming at his gesture. on his face is a smile that is wide and adoring while his large eyes shine under the bright hallway lights.

“thank you,” he says because all the words spoken tonight, yukhei believes he has not said that to you yet.

forever grateful he is for you.

the elevator dings and the doors open. yukhei moves first with your steps following him into the metal box. the ground floor he presses once the doors close, the descend beginning your journey home together. you give a gentle tug to his hand, making yukhei look at you.

you tiptoe and return a kiss to his cheek with your lips staying in place for seconds longer too before you step back to find his gaze.

“anytime,” you whisper with a smile.

because for him, you will over and over again.

#lucas scenarios #yukhei scenarios #lucas fluff #yukhei fluff #lucas imagines #yukhei imagines #wayv scenarios #nct scenarios

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nalgenewhore · 5 years ago

Text

Slipping Through My Fingers - Four

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter

warnings: none

The bell finally rang on a glorious Friday afternoon and Elide corralled all her students, herding them into the cubby room.

Kohana, as always, was one of the first students ready, standing next to the door silently as his proclaimed ‘bestest friend ever’ stood next to him, excitedly chattering about her weekend plans.

Esther Corsario-Beausoleil was an adorable little girl, with sea green eyes and a cloud of coily, flaming red locks, the child to Elide’s favourite parents - Ilias, Ansel, and Rolfe. Elide had known Ansel forever and knew that they proclaimed it to be a cruel and unjust punishment to stick their kid with three last names. Ilias had gotten the pick of her first name as a consolation. Unlike one of her fathers and Kohana, she hardly ever stopped talking, but it seemed as though Kohana’s presence had a calming effect on her.

Esther was currently explaining to Kohana that her last name, translated into the common tongue, meant ‘pirate-beautiful sun’. Esther had the cutest accent, her pronunciation of her last names immaculate.

That had him excited as he hurriedly told her that his last name meant ‘god of the sea-saviour of the earth’. They looked very pleased with themselves and Esther managed to stop hopping around to show him how her shoes lit up.

“Ok, friends, is everybody ready?” Elide asked, standing at the front of the line. They all nodded and took each other’s hands like she’d taught them before she led them outside. It was beautiful again today and Elide couldn’t wait to go over to Nesryn and Lysandra’s place tonight, her week - while she loved it and it had gone as smoothly as possible - had been hectic and she was ready to relax with her closest friends.

Elide said hello to the parents and nannies, pulling some of them to the side to discuss minor issues they’d had. Somehow, she’d managed to make it through the week without a single wet pants situation and Elide thanked whatever deity had ensured that small victory for her.

“Elide! Elide!” Elide turned, to see Esther pointing across the asphalt area to her mother, who was climbing out of a sleek red Cadillac. “C’est Maman!”

Elide chuckled as Ansel strolled up, wearing a pair of skin tight black jeans, a black top and a burgundy leather jacket, her eyes hidden behind a pair of cat-eye sunglasses. She tossed her glossy locks over her shoulder and opened her arms, letting her daughter race towards her and launch herself into her arms. “Bon après-midi, my petite. On fait bien, oui?” Esther nodded and began to babble as Ansel propped her up on her hip and walked to Elide. “Elide, my saviour!” Oh, how Elide loved that sultry accent.

“Hey, Ansel. Esther was a joy, yet again. We made some art today, but it won’t be dry until Monday.”

Ansel nodded and turned to Kohana, who was now standing alone, the last kid, as he waited for his dad. There was a crease between his brows as he watched with those light eyes of his. “Hi, Ko-Ko. How we doing?”

He turned to Ansel and waved, “Hi-hi. ‘m waiting for até.” He fell silent again, wringing his hands until something crossed over his face and he was off before Elide could stop him, running as fast as his little legs would take him. Kohana didn’t get too far before Lorcan was scooping him up.

Lorcan was smiling widely as he easily put Kohana on his shoulders and walked over to Elide and Ansel. Kohana looked pleased, his little hands holding onto Lorcan’s hair as he sat on his perch. “Hey, Ansel, Esther.” Esther waved at him vigorously and swung her legs out, trying to get her shoes to light up again. “Elide.”

“Lorcan.” Ansel looked back and forth between them with narrowed eyes after she pushed her sunglasses up into her wine-coloured hair. Elide still couldn’t tell if it was natural or not - even after all these years - but with Esther’s red strands, she couldn’t be sure. “Kohana was a perfect student this week. I’m very impressed with his ability to tie his own shoes. He’s got the best bunny ears in the game.” She winked at Kohana, who giggled and clapped his little hands before leaning over his father’s head.

“I tied my shoes all the days, até.”

“Good job, Ko. You ready to go?”

“Yep! Got say bye-bye to Essie!” Kohana sat up straight and stretched out his arm, waving bye to Esther. “Bye-bye, Essie!”

Esther beamed and waved goodbye to him as well, “Au revoir, Ko-Ko!”

The adults chuckled at the cuteness and all said their farewells as Lorcan strolled off. Ansel swivelled to Elide, a brow raised, “What the fuck was that?”

“Maman! Mauvais mot,” Esther chastised her mother, frowning as she crossed her arms.

“Just like your Aba, huh? Always tell me what to do,” Ansel teased her daughter in reference to Ilias. Elide had known Ansel when they were both in university, around the time that she met her now husbands, and Elide knew that Rolfe and Ansel were the troublemakers of the relationship. “But seriously, what was that?”

Elide rolled her eyes, “You’re still coming tonight, right? I’ll tell you then.”

Ansel pouted and sighed dramatically, “Oh, I suppose I can wait that long.” They laughed and soon enough, were departing as Elide headed back to her classroom.

She puttered around, tidying up and putting the little chairs up before gathering her things. It didn’t take more than fifteen minutes and she was off, after closing the blinds and turning off the lights, heading home for the weekend.

It was nice out again today, but Elide had still brought her car, a cute, vintage, baby-blue painted Volkswagen Bug. She rolled down the windows as she drove home, happy with the success of her first week.

Granted, she could’ve done without the realization that she’d had a one-night stand with one of her student’s fathers, but she’d take what she could get.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Dad, where we going?”

“We’re going to Ro’s house, kiddo.”

“Can I bring Tigger?”

Lorcan looked down at his son, his eyes wide as he pouted. “Sorry, Ko, you know Tigger stays at home.”

Kohana sulked, crossing his arms tightly. “Wanna bring Tigger.” He frowned deeply, a fierce glare pointed at Lorcan as he picked the child up and locked their front door behind him, walking to the truck. Every first Friday of the month, the guys would all meet up and play poker somewhere. The level of the stakes varied, but never exceeded an ostentatious amount.

As a bribe, Lorcan stopped at a fast food place and bought his son chicken nuggets on his way to Rowan’s, smiling in the rearview as Kohana happily munched on his dinner and kicked his legs out. Soon enough, they pulled up in front of Rowan’s townhouse and hopped out of the truck.

Kohana raced to the door and pressed incessantly on Rowan’s doorbell until the silver-haired man yanked the door open, assuming it was Lorcan doing it to annoy him. Upon seeing Kohana, he grinned and picked the little one up, tickling his sides until he was squirming away. “No! No more!”

“Boyo just devoured ten chicken nuggets, don’t blame me when he barfs on you,” Lorcan said dryly, laughing as Rowan made a nervous face and put Kohana down. He pushed past Rowan’s legs and raced into the house, roaring his arrival.

“So how’s the teacher?”

Lorcan groaned, “Fen told you?”

“Literally the second after you told him.”

“Fucking Marama,” Lorcan muttered, putting down Kohana’s backpack of toys and books.

“Someone say my name?” Fenrys yelled as he popped out from behind the corner and Lorcan shouted.

“Hellas below, man, can you not? I hate it when you do that.” Fenrys cackled and Lorcan wondered how on earth did he convince Nehemia to marry him. They all walked into the kitchen and sat at the table, with Kohana as their dealer.

They didn’t fuck around after their greetings and got right into the game. At some point, Connall had fished out the old visor with DEALER stamped across it and plopped it on Kohana’s head.

The five-year old took his job very seriously, his brows furrowed as he carefully passed out the correct amount of cards. “Juice, please.”

After he’d gotten his juice box, the game was back on. Fenrys looked at Lorcan and wiggled his brows in a way that Lorcan did not like. “So, Man-Man,” Kohana looked up from the chips he was carefully stacking, sitting atop a pile of books so that he could see the entire table. “How’s school going? You like your teacher?”

“Fenrys-”

“Teacher is nice. Like her. She read stories and paint and draw and play outside with us. Did you know I gots a bestest friend, Fenny?”

“What? I thought I was your bestest friend, Ko!” Fenrys exclaimed, holding a hand to his heart like he was wounded. “What’s your bestest friend like?”

“Very loud. Essie talks a lot,” Kohana said, moving on to the blue chips. “She gots shoes that light up too.”

“She seems like a nice friend,” Vaughan said, smiling fondly at his nephew. “Do you have light up shoes, Fenny?” Fenrys, mindful of the child sitting in full view, stuck his tongue out at Vaughan, making Kohana giggle.

“Essie has two daddies and one mommy.”

Lorcan elaborated, “She’s Corsario’s kid.”

“Oh dang really?” Connall asked, his brows lifting. “Ay, didn’t he marry Ilias and Ansel?”

“Yeah, they were in that prenatal class with us,” Lorcan said, focusing on his cards.

“That is a brave man.”

“What’dya mean?”

“Marrying Rolfe and Ansel? I’m surprised he hasn’t had a heart attack yet.”

They all chuckled and soon enough, the game recommenced, at the behest of the dealer.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“I got to say, El, Esther’s so happy she gets to call you by your first name.” Ansel rolled her eyes, “She had the most ridiculous daycare leader ever who made the kids learn the ‘proper’ way to address adults.”

“They’re kids! Some of them haven’t even turned five yet, for fuck’s sake. If all we’re doing is learning our numbers and ABCs, then they definitely do not have to ‘address’ me like that. Certainly not if I’m teaching them to treat others how they want to be treated,” Elide said, helping Lysandra in the kitchen by washing a head of lettuce.

Ansel nodded her agreement and a wicked gleam entered her eyes as Elide started tearing up the green leaves. “So… how much more drunk do you have to be to spill that hot drama you’ve been sitting pretty on, with your cute lil ass?”

Elide groaned and flicked Ansel’s nose, “Dude… can you be chill? For once?”

“Spill? Spill what?” Aelin asked, popping into the kitchen.

“Oh, am I finally going to figure out why you were being so weird on Saturday?” That was Nehemia, walking into the kitchen with Nesryn. Lysandra was already there, cutting something up for whatever dinner they were having.

Elide groaned in defeat and hit her head on the countertop. “I slept with my student’s dad.”

“What?”

She lifted her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, “The guy from Friday night is the father of one of my students.”

They gawked at her, utterly silent until Ansel gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Mon dieu, it’s Lorcan, right? Am I right?”

“Mm-hmm. Yup.”

Aelin, Ansel, and Nehemia cackled as Lysandra gave her a sympathetic look and hugged her. “I’m sorry, honey. That doesn’t sound fun.”

Elide pouted and whined, “It’s so bad! I thought he was stalking me or something when he showed up!” A thought crossed her mind and she swore, “Anneith below, it’s gonna be so awkward at parent-teacher conferences!”

“How?”

“Well, I think he’s divorced and they have joint custody? Anyway, we’ve barely said more than two sentences to each other and I can’t even look him in the eye. The mother is going to have to be brain-dead-”

Ansel sucked in a breath, all the humour in her face disappearing. “El… can I talk to you quickly?”

They all exchanged weird looks as Elide slipped off her stool and followed Ansel to the backyard. The red-haired woman was pacing, biting her thumbnail. “Ans, what is it?”

“Kohana’s mom died four years ago. She got sick and they didn’t find anything wrong until it was too late.”

“Oh my gods. Are you serious?”

Ansel nodded, her eyes conflicted. “Yeah. I figured you knew already. She and Lorcan had been together for years, highschool sweethearts.”

Elide felt her heart drop and she couldn’t find the words to process anything. She knew what it was like to lose her parents at a young age and suddenly it all made sense. Kohana’s wariness to make friends outside of Esther, waiting anxiously for his dad to show up at pickup, lingering by Lorcan at dropoff. “Poor Kohana. Poor Lorcan. Shit.”

Ansel winced and nodded, “I wouldn’t mention it to him until he brings it up. Losing her like that… no one should have to live through that. Especially with a kid.”

Elide nodded, her mind reeling. Somehow, this mess became even messier. She wasn’t sure how it had done that.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Fenrys was having a no-blinking contest with Kohana when his phone buzzed. The five-year old smirked, the little shit had the audacity to smirk at him, his gaze piercing and wide open. “Do you needs a break?”

Man, fuck him and his stupid grammar, Fenrys said to himself as he nodded and Kohana blinked, taking a bite of his mini Babybel. His hands were barely big enough to hold it in one. The golden-haired man had never wanted to throttle anyone more.

He stepped away from the table and took out his phone, smiling at the image of his wife that lit up the screen. He accepted the call, “Hey, Mi. What’s up?”

“Hi, babe, um… did Lorcan tell you that…?”

“Oh, Ko’s teacher? Yeah, he told me.” He paused, checking that everyone was busy doing something. “What about it?”

Nehemia breathed out slowly, “She’s Aelin’s sister. Elide.”

“Oh fuck.”

A little voice gasped from behind him and Fenrys turned, seeing Kohana clap his hands over his ears. Bless that kid and his innocence. “Mi, I gotta go. Let’s talk more at home, ok?”

“Ok. Love you, Fen.”

“Love you too.”

Kohana’s eyes were wide and he whispered, “You said a bad word, Fenny.”

Fenrys stuffed his phone back into his pocket and quickly lifted Kohana up, carrying him to the kitchen. “I know, Man-Man. But guess what?”

“What?”

“If you keep it a secret and don’t tell your daddy, I’ll give you ice cream. Deal?”

Kohana’s vehement nod was answer enough for Fenrys.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: Até means father in Lakota :) and it’s gonna be a lil slow for now, ok? but don’t worry, the drama is coming 👀

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @superspiritfestival @empress-ofbloodshed @queen-of-glass @sleeping-and-books @beccasophia95 @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thewayshedreamed @hizqueen4life @ifinallygavein @bat-wing-rhys @awkward-avocado-s @b00kworm

#slipping through my fingers #stmf chapter four #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #kohana #isa writes #nalgenewhore

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getyourlifetogetherpodcast · 3 years ago

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Latest episode of the podcast! Welcome to our new Tumblr page! Transcript below

Speaker 1 (00:00): Neither of these guys skip face, day or international. Oh, I'm going to skip face day. That's hilarious. Neither of these guys get face day leg day. We definitely do though. I don't skip leg day. You skip leg day. Sorry, photographer. You, you, I S I'm not like I'm canceling probably. And I have a train I'm canceling to every out of two, out of every three gym sessions. I'm not making. How so you got to like, what twice a week? You know, like twice a week, it should be like four. I'm scheduling four, but I'm only going to like two, when you got a personal trainer and everything. Can we talk real fast? So let's start the podcast first off. Welcome to the, get your life together podcast. Please subscribe. Um, uh, if you could subscribe on everything, that'd be great. If you want to listen to in your car, iTunes, Spotify, the iHeart radio app, that's the easiest way to do it. And then if you just want to watch us. Yeah. If you just want to look at us in YouTube,

Speaker 2 (00:50): Welcome to the, get your life together, podcast with nugget.

Speaker 1 (01:02): Can we talk before we even start? Can we talk about how much cream and sugar you put in your coffee before we started? Why? What? This is so that you don't like coffee? No, I hate it. This is, I don't really like chocolate like that. This is actually milk and sugar with a side of coffee. How much, how many sugars did you put in? Cause their sugar packets. How many did you put in five? I think so much. Why don't you just warm up cooling, cooling. Why don't we just kind of cool. Cause you need the caffeine. Yeah. You miss out on the caffeine. Um, could I got you a red bull? Is that what your go-to do you normally drink energy drinks? I'd say yeah. Red, red bull is I think the go-to I didn't like, I didn't like coffee until I was maybe like 25 and you're 23.

Speaker 1 (01:47): So you got two years and then you might start liking it. Yeah, I don't, I don't really like it now. Obviously clearly Jesus Christ. There's so much. F-ing I've never seen somebody put that much cream, three or four creamers to that reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents would be like, you want to try coffee? And I would just keep dumping it because I don't know. It's just, it's super strong. Well, yeah. I mean that's yeah, we did the strongest roast, but it's do you not like, what about at Starbucks? Do you get like a latte with a regular amount of I can curse, right? Yeah. So like when it comes to just like drink, whether drinking alcoholic beverages that I like, I just like vis drinks. You know what I'm saying? Like that was your swear word. I thought I was getting ready for something serious.

Speaker 1 (02:31): No, no. I just like this drinks, like, so the coffee with not a lot of coffee. I like, I like juices. If I go to Starbucks, I'll get like a, like a caramel frappuccino, extra frappuccino frappuccino. That's not even really called. I don't know what it is, the calories. And this is going to make me sound like that type of guy. I'm sorry. But do you know that the calories in a frappucino are the same as if you drank a birthday cake? You don't know what it's like. In fact, one day you're going to get fat and then you're gonna have to think about these. There's a whole birthday cake in that of calories and yeah, like that's the amount of sugar it has in it. That's a lot. Yeah. But it's not, I realize like me telling you that isn't going to spray you from an adult.

Speaker 1 (03:09): Is that why it's so expensive? Is it expensive? I haven't gotten one. I haven't gotten one yet to go to Starbucks with $20 in five years. It's been on that. How long? They're like, I don't know. I might be wrong. They're probably like five. They're probably like seven, seven, and then I get a cake pop too. So that's really like two birthday cakes. We outta here. Uh, I w we went out a lot over the weekend. I drank coffee every time we went out before I saw you, every time I know I'm going to hang out with Nico, what I do is I drink coffee and then while we're out, I have at least one, all these energy drinks have gotta be bad for me, but it's the only way I can stay out late enough without feeling. Yeah. But without being like, Hey man, let's go home.

Speaker 1 (03:50): We did, what did we do? We did like a draft, Colombian coffee, whatever. And then we did a red bull. We did two red bull. It was like an Uber out. What was going on Friday? Yeah. Friday, big weekend recap real quick Friday. Uh, I think I just did tango Saturday. You were somewhere Saturday. I took off. I'm the craziest story ever Saturday. Like, I don't know if you want to get into it super deep. I didn't do it. All right. So Saturday, um, one of my really, really good lifetime friends. One of my, my boys, man, like, uh, his name is Matt. Uh, one day, um, I went to Drexel university, so I was actually the opening DJ for their, you know, um, yearly concert two years ago. This kid, Matt D boom hits me up on Instagram. Hey, here's my portfolio. Check it out.

Speaker 1 (04:39): Awesome. What is he? He's a photographer videographer. Um, so you want to know what the story is? I know what the story is. Okay. So you want it to shoot content for me. And I'm like, okay. Um, awesome. Like, you know, I liked the way you, you know, the way he presented himself was very, very genuine. He came off the right way and I could see the intent for lowriders in the story. All right, sorry. Continue. Yeah, no, it's listen. It gets better trust. It's like, you know, every episode on, uh, what does that it's quick games. Yeah. Anyway, uh, so Saturday I got to hang out with this guy, with this kid, Matt, two years later, he brings me to the same show that I brought him to. Um, but this time he's shooting for Flo RADA. Flo rider is the, is the featured artist of the Drexel concert series this year.

Speaker 1 (05:25): How big do you think Flores Dick is? So Florida is the official artist for the Drexel giant. I'm not going down that road with you. You're not taking me down that road. So, so Matt introduced me for Flo rider. We hung out all day Saturday. That's why I'm asking you because you got a really good look. No, I didn't. I wasn't closer look than anybody else like you were with in the same room, right? Yeah. In the same room. Yes. Like how did you shake his hand? Did you shake his hand? You shook his hand. Yes. When you shook his hand where you're like, oh, this guy's got a big Dick. No, you didn't think that at all? No. That's so weird that you don't, that's not, it's weird. I think of like, as soon as I shake any guy's hand, I'm like, yeah. Cause you can tell by their handshake.

Speaker 1 (06:09): That's why have you ever shaken someone's hand bad where you grab two to club too quick to where you grabbed their fingers. I always redo it because I'm like, well, I don't want this guy. Like I have a small deck. How do you redo a hand? So like, let's say we did it. And I was like, oh, and I did that. I'd be like, Hey man, can we just, I didn't feel good about that. Can we redo the handshake? And then I would give a good one. Okay. That way he's thinking all this, guy's got a big, big hog, you know? Yeah. No, that's not what I thought, but what did I think? Um, yeah. What did you, did you get any inside information with him? No. No. Inside stuff soup. Every, the whole team personality. We don't know that much about him. He doesn't do a ton of interviews that I've seen anyway.

Speaker 1 (06:47): He's never, I've never seen him on a podcast. Um, he is just, I don't know. I, is he like his songs? Is he like, all right, let's go talk really fast. He's super chill. Super down to earth. Humble. Very like, um, not outspoken, but very friendly and warm. Super cool. Like literally I think, um, if I wouldn't have, I know what he looks like, but if you were to just meet him in public and he, and you just have no idea, you know, like you're out or something, it was very, you wouldn't even know. Did he make any jokes? All those hits songs. Yeah. He's making cracking jokes on everybody. Okay. Awesome. Uh, I think crack the joke on me once or twice we went on stage. I obviously you don't know me like that flow rider. Did you know? I wasn't in a spot.

Speaker 1 (07:29): Oh man. I don't know. They just had such a good team and the chemistry was so there that I felt a little like in the way, you know? So I was constantly like moving and just like trying to stay out of the way. Cause I just felt like they were so tight knit. And so like everyone knew the role. Do you end up becoming closer with anybody from the team? Did you, it was a one or two people that you ended up talking to the most one or two people that asked, like what do I do? And they found out the radio stuff. They were like, no, they definitely cared. And we actually went out to south street after and got cheese steaks. And um, for anyone that lives in Philadelphia, there was like some crazy that happened, uh, in center city or some center city, Saturday.

Speaker 1 (08:06): I don't know what you're talking about. A bunch of like motorcycles and cars and like bike life people, you know how they do that in here in Philly, like ATVs. And um, they went to city hall and they like filmed a music video. Someone did, I don't know who did it. It was all over the news. They were like doing donuts around cops and doing like crazy like GTA style. So I'm sure we'll see something the finished products. Yeah. Actually this week there was an article I think on Q1 or two's page as well about the whole about, I don't know when this podcast is going to come, so we're shooting this on Tuesday. It'll probably be out Wednesday or Thursday at the latest. And this happened on, so if this happens, if like all the news comes out and we're talking about it in the past tense, that's why, yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:48): This. Yeah. So, um, but yeah, we got caught in that too. Like the sprinter, we were on the way to the show and they just started doing wheelies and everything crazy. Right in front of city hall, there was like a video camera thought I was so sick to flow. Right. I asked you any questions he didn't ask. No. Cause that's cool. When a celebrity asks you questions, he didn't ask me any questions. His, all his like a he's busy. He probably how much you probably didn't get to talk to him that much. You were more talking about. Yeah, I guess, yeah. I stayed out of his way. He was honestly pretty, super preoccupied and has a team with him, you know, he's watching everything. So, um, I shot the international nephew. It hit, I don't know if it's his actual nephew or if nephew's his stage name. I have no idea. I'm sorry. I didn't get that information. But, um, he was super cool. I talked to him a lot. He was more or less like the support on stage, like, you know, back and flow up. Um, and bringing the energy up, going into the crowd. They, they did this shake his hand. Yeah. He hung out with him. No stop please.

Speaker 1 (09:51): Sorry. Um, anyway, they did this really little, you can't even think right now, what did they do? That was really cool. They did this really cool thing on stage where they have a super interactive show. And so there was two points on stage where nephew and their security team went out and got people in the crowd and brought them up and then flow would be like, you know, the net, I think it was the wild one song, you know, wild ones with SIA. Listen, we don't have SIA with us tonight, but we got a bunch of beautiful ladies in the building and bring them on up. Like 20 girls would just run on stage and like they would give them all microphones and they would like sing it. Cool. It was so it was super sick. And then they did the same thing with the dudes for it's going down for it is going down for real and has all the dudes on stage.

Speaker 1 (10:34): Like, and it was so cool. I was like, yeah, I'd never like seen something like that. That's really kind of a lot of intent into like their performance. They had dancers, like they flew in dancers with them what a show. And that's so cool that you got to just kind of be a part of it like that. Matt, thank you so much for bringing me man. Like it, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity just to be off you produce more music, um, because you pretty much, I don't know if you've ever heard Nico. So DJ, is there anywhere that we can go to see, like if you're, if you don't live in Philly, where can we go and look at your mixes? Um, soundcloud.com backslash, uh, official Nico. So, and that's across everything. Socials, Instagram, Snapchat, SoundCloud, all the Mexicans Oso, right? Oh, so now here's my problem with you.

Speaker 1 (11:18): Yes, you're a Dick because in the good way, here's the thing. You're when Nico mixes, he's just, he's creating new music while he's mixing. So he's altering these tracks to where they are completely different songs. So you're constantly producing new tracks on the fly while you're live mixing. Yeah. Why don't you just take some of those and release them as the Nico Oso remix and put them out. So, uh, okay. So, you know, like I want to steal them plan and act like I'm good. Yeah. So I think, so those would be like DJ edits. I think like if I took the ideas, but really what I want to do is produce remixes and original music. Original music is where we can really talk like, you know, so, but you're already doing these while you're live.

Speaker 1 (12:11): Shout out to my boy, uh, San Tino. Uh, we actually have, I haven't met him yet, by the way. Um, yeah, we gotta, we've gotta, like, I have original music out that we'd sit down and PR and produce from scratch. And I would love to do more of that. I think doing that as a full time commitment job, it needs attention and you're already busy. Yeah. It's your emotion and everything. So I'm gonna ask you why, like I, for one, as a DJ, that's not very good, would love to be able to get the Nico. So edit of any song and be like, you know what? I'm going to throw this in there instead of the regular version. And you're already, you can just record your set, cut out that part and then publish it canyon. And I could, well, I could take that. I could record that idea, take it home and then produce it.

Speaker 1 (12:52): Really make it like, what is it? Ableton, Ableton. So it's all the producers, uh, in the chat and that wouldn't take you that long. Cause you already know exactly what you want it to sound like. I'm just, I don't know. Would it take you a long time? It takes a, it takes a look. Um, it's a song to do one. No I'm talking about to do, to do like, let's say, um, in the ghetto that's on that we always play and then you alter it while you're playing it to just take that, make it up and Ableton. Would that take a long time? Okay. We can probably do one or two a day. Like really well produced. I know there's some people that put out like three, three a week, four week, five a week, like the DJ pools, right? Like the editors on there, they're responsible for X amount of edits a week, which is them like, you know, live producing.

Speaker 1 (13:37): Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I don't know why I'm not. I'm trying to seal all her and get down to it. We actually speaking about deejaying. We got to DJ together on Sunday. Oh yeah. So obviously Saturday was flow rider. I was off what'd you do Saturday? Did you work or anything? I don't remember. All right. You were drunk. Yeah. Drunk Saturday, Sunday comes big Eagles game in the city. The energy was super high. Um, it's a problem that I really can't remember what I did on Saturday flyers game. It was the flyers came on Saturday. I was at the flyers game. I got to meet gritty. All right. I got something for four. So, um, the flyers game was on, on Saturday and me and my, one of my coworkers rage. We got to do a slapshot contest against each other and I had never held a hockey stick on the ice on the ice skates.

Speaker 1 (14:28): No, the ice this. So I guess when you have professional ice like that, it's not slick. Like ice skating looks that we're used to and you can just walk on there without, I didn't, I wasn't even worried about slipping. It felt like it felt more like turf, like regular. It was so weird. It was so weird on your shoes. Uh, which I guess is how it is when you got these, these, you know, real professional, um, ice skating, arenas, slippery. So we go out there, we walk out there and we're doing a slapshot competition and I have never held a hockey stick and rage. Her dad is a huge hockey fan. And so she grew up with, with the NHL. Um, and I beat her once. Were you shooting a shot? Well, my issue was, is that the aim? So like I was hitting them.

Speaker 1 (15:14): I was worried that I was going to completely just missed the completely. And so I made a couple of, and I talked a lot of trash and I just want to continue to do that rage. How does it feel to lose so horribly at a sport that your whole family is so passionate about? Uh, it, it must be, it must be really sad. It must be really sad. And I wonder if she cried on the way home at all, but yeah, I beat her and I got to be gritty. Who's the mascot for the flyers, for the NHL. And he threw chicken nuggets at me and I had to catch them in either my mouth or this cup. Do we have video of that? We have to have those video it's up on my Instagram. Um, and, and what was funny is, so I was playing for this person.

Speaker 1 (15:53): Yeah. Uh, and, and if I caught 10 chicken nuggets or more than they were going to win jingle ball tickets, nice. Well, I was catching a few in the cup, but the chicken nuggets are bouncier than I would guess. I realized. And they would hit the bottom of the cup and bounce right back out. And so I didn't technically catch any, luckily we still gave her tickets. I was freaking out because I was like this. Cause I don't care if it was for me. I wouldn't care. But if I'm playing for somebody else, her name was Julie or Julia, I think. Uh, and she was so nice. She was like, Hey, thank you so much for doing this. And I was like, I'm so sorry. We've got our tickets anyway, which is great. But, um, it was so scary because the slapshot contest too was also for one of our listeners that we were, I was playing for somebody Rachel's playing for somebody and the person she was playing for, went home with nothing.

Speaker 1 (16:44): So that must've been really awful. It must've made rage feel terrible, but luckily I won and so I got to get them tickets, but it's like, I never want to do that again. I would much rather play for myself and play for anybody else. Yeah. I think I would be so nervous. Like I can't, I couldn't imagine doing a free-throw shot or like shooting, like he did during hockey and like, um, I actually wasn't nervous cause I, I guess I just have a proven track record of, of excellence that I go back to and I just go, okay, I can, I'm fine. This is the easiest thing I've done. And I don't care about other people. So if that kid loses because of me, like, I would've felt bad at first, but I want to go on, I was drunk Saturday night. I wouldn't have cared.

Speaker 1 (17:25): Um, you're drunk Saturday and drunk. I know. And then tomorrow we've got Western down, uh, and we're going to see probably a lot of the people that we saw on Sunday. So Sunday we do the post game party for the Eagles and I got to DJ while for a little bit and cover for you while you were on the way. Cause you had a bar stool gig. Yes. I got the DJ for Barstool and Sunday morning, which was amazing, great experience. I'm looking forward to the next one. So I DJ'ed a little bit for Nico and then he got there and then took over. And then after that we ended up going out to, uh, what's it called? K-pop this Korean barbecue spot now, how does it work? Can you explain how it works? K-pop and shout out to soda from a tango show soda from tango, put me on a K-pop K-pop is you pull up it's Korean barbecue and it's hot pot.

Speaker 1 (18:10): You could choose one or the other or both. We did both, which means we got to cook on the grill and cook with like a hot pot of stuff. Is it like anything else? No, it's kinda like it's unlimited. So it's kinda like a Texas de Brazil type thing where you just keep getting neat. Yeah. Like they bring you, so they give you a menu or something you get as, as whatever you would like as much as you like, um, there's a giant grill in the middle of the table and you cook it yourself. That's the only difference you could get yourself. You, you, there's a sauce bar. You go get like any sauce you want and they bring you vegetables and everything. And you literally like cook your own. All you can eat Korean barbecue meal. It was amazing. This place is where I learned that Nico cell has to poop immediately after he eats every time.

Speaker 1 (18:54): Which is the weirdest. How do you, is it just like, do you just have to go or do you make yourself go? I'm so confused by this. Just be honest about it. It's um, I feel like now, you know what? There's people out there that also, um, that also had sex. I don't know anybody wrong. No, there has to be listen. Here's what happens? Um, you eat and then, you know, it goes down and then you have to make room for what? For what you just ate. So then what are you talking about? Like I just don't what do you mean? All I'm trying to figure out is it's not it's, it's just a little bit weird. It's not that crazy, but all I'm trying to figure out is, do you make yourself do it or do you not? I actually have to know. I naturally have to.

Speaker 1 (19:43): And I think other people might naturally have to like as when you're eating and then you're digesting and like, okay. 'cause for me, it just happens at almost the same time every day, which is when it just depends on my schedule. But, but like, so it depends on my, my work schedule a lot of times. So most of the time it's like two o'clock. So it's before I go to work, luckily, thank God. Have you ever had to go at, uh, at all at a club? Have you ever had to go while you were deejaying? I don't want to talk, so it's so bad. It's gonna be disgusting. So I, I think I have my, I I'll go as soon as I wake up and it's like, normally what's waking me up. I feel like, is like, if I'm not waking up by alarm or something, I'm like, oh, I'm so terrified.

Speaker 1 (20:29): So one's in the morning and then I'm usually good for a while. And then I definitely go before I have to have, because you've had some experiences. What happened? Did you make myself go before something happened? Right? Were you at a club? And you were like, it's just a terrible, it's just not a good feeling. And like you have to play carry out then by then the bathroom's like there's vomit everywhere. You know, Justin Timberlake, holey, Justin Timberlake. Uh, no, no, no mirrors, mirrors. What's the really long Justin Timberlake song. Holy grail. That's almost like 20 minutes long. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:07): I'm going to the, or the extended version of what goes around, comes around. Oh my God. It's like seven minutes. I'll put on some house. All right guys. Uh, Nico's poop. And he just put her on the extended version of what goes around, comes around. That must be horrible when that happens to you. Yeah, no I, I and the best part is I know when I'm about to eat, I'm like, I'm usually like, that's a, it's a, it's a cop-out for where, where, where I'm somewhere. I don't want to be, oh, I gotta use the bathroom. Sorry. I, is that why you were annoyed Sunday night? You were annoyed all night, Sunday at something we were out, we went to maybe like five or six different places. And you were for sure. Annoyed. Really? Yeah. You just seem annoyed. Not like maybe like halfway through the night.

Speaker 1 (21:48): Might've been tired at that point. That was my, that was my third gig. We had the three gigs, Sunday, 14 hours of DJ. Yeah. So yeah, but you know what annoyed me. So we went out and did karaoke. I brought the house down, by the way, this guy did you tip the karaoke guy? Yeah, you did that. Is that how I got to sing so quick? So was that park? We had a mic ma Miguel McGillan. So we went to this bar called the Guillen's and they did karaoke on Sunday night. And I was like, oh, I want to sing. And him. And, uh, one of our other friends that were with angel angel from the west and I was of age, he got, they got so excited about me singing for some reason that they did you go up and tip the guy. So literally it was like, we, uh, we had 15 minutes to be to the next gig and we had to, and we heard the music.

Speaker 1 (22:34): I want to show why you tip them. Cause we had to be, I wanted you to go on like now, like I was not waiting for this. There's a grandma up there already. I was like, okay, we're not. And I'm sure there was a long list of people and everybody was singing these depressing songs. Somebody was saying like Johnny Cash, her. And I was like, what? The, it was bringing everybody down. And I was like, this is no way to do carry out. I went to the bar, I got, I got the karaoke guy, Jamison shot, $20 bill. We walk up to him. I say, he goes next. And you did. And you did. You went at like, I think one or two people after skip the line. And I did Outkast roses. It brought the house down. By the way, did outcast rose is the piano head.

Speaker 1 (23:10): Everyone was like, yeah. Cause everyone before me was doing all these depressing songs, here's what happened to me. That annoyed me that night. Um, you remember the, the woman that was with some dude that she was clearly on a date with, I dunno if it was her boyfriend or what do you remember? And she like pulls me aside and gives me this hug. And she's like, Hey, like, are you nugget? And I was like, yeah. And then we, she was talking to me for a minute and we took a picture together. And in the picture I saw, I showed you the picture, right? Her arms are wrapped around me, this and she with this guy and that big boyfriend hog, you know that boyfriend hug. Yeah. She's with this guy and he looks. He looked so upset and he was tall too. Super Husky, 6, 3, 2 50 lines.

Speaker 1 (24:00): And I was trying to not cause I'm out of respect for this dude alone. And I wasn't even interested. I was just like trying to sing, excuse me, can you all these women stop trying to hook up with me while I'm trying to sing outcast. Uh, this guy was given us this look and I'm just like, if nothing else out of respect for this dude, who's clearly on a date with her. I wasn't trying to talk to her. I was like, oh yeah, good to see you. We can take this picture. Great. Yeah. Um, it's crazy. We walked in in here and like this girl sniped you from sniped. You like yo, so I'm not making this up super aggressive. Right? Um, seven of the picture on Instagram the next day didn't follow me back. Cause she, she, I was like, what's your Instagram? And we could just keep in touch like that.

Speaker 1 (24:48): And then this guy, we can like leave you alone so you can go on your day. Um, and then I sent her the picture, no follow back, didn't open it. Didn't like nothing. And I'm like, that's so weird. Why do people do that? The boy was upset. Listen, if you're me, let's flip it. Let's flip it. You're you're the guy girls sees, uh, sees me out at the bar. I would never, if I was in that position, I would just never take the picture and, or take a picture. But like, there's a lot of options for taking a picture. You don't have to wrap your arms around somebody. Yeah. But what if your girl wraps her arms around me like that? Oh, I'd be. I'd be. And I would probably not. I'd be like, what, what are you? That's so weird. That's such a weird, unless you were friends and then maybe it depends on what the history is.

Speaker 1 (25:39): She can't even say yo like that was never met. That was never met her. Like, you know how, like if I meet someone, like I dunno who it was like, if I meet, I don't even know. I just trying to figure out here's what I'm trying to figure out. Why is it just alcohol? Why go from one extreme to like completely. And I'm not even hitting. I just like send her the picture and said, Hey, great to run into you. And that was it. Okay. Maybe that wasn't an extra, I think perspective is everything, right? Like maybe she's that big of a fan of you that she like perception just went out the window. Why would you not respond to somebody? Because she's. Cause she got in trouble. Probably dude probably was, was and was like, yo like reamed her out. And now she doesn't even give a by her picture.

Speaker 1 (26:22): That's about the picture. It makes more sense. That makes sense. Right. I was just, I just don't. I just don't feel like I'm that different when I'm drunk. You've seen a drunk kind of yeah. Last night. Sunday night for sure. Yeah. What did you, what'd you think fun warm the same as at anytime. Always want to know. Yes, it was, it was fun. And so I just think, I don't know. But, so what was your opinion? So you, you would be if you're a girl. Yeah. Now I get it. Now that you said all that, like, I feel like I understand that or now that she was probably seeing that guy and then he was just like, well, you know what? You should do. You should take the picture and then it's you and him that way. He's not looking that way. I'm sure we'll be best friends after that.

Speaker 1 (27:10): What I should have done was made the effort to talk to him, but I was trying to sing. I was trying to sing well, I was trying to sing, like I wasn't trying to talk to women. I was just trying to sing my Outkast song. And I wish that all these aggressive ladies would just leave me alone while I'm trying to sing. That's a problem. All his he's got, all this guys have is just, ah, just getting approached all the time. It's the worst. Not, not you about to get in a fight. I karaoke night. And then we were out after that. And that's when you started getting annoyed. Um, why don't I get annoyed? You're right. I need to be more honest. I think people need to be more honest about when they're not feeling it or just because I feel like people will bury that.

Speaker 1 (27:50): Right. Okay. And then maybe you were annoyed because people were crowded in the DJ booth that you didn't necessarily want up there. Do you remember that? Because there was this girl that was like that you didn't know at all. That's why. And she was like hanging out with you at the DJ booth and you're number one, busy when I'm DJ and I'm not really doing. I'm just like hitting the I'm just like play. But, but when he's deejaying, he's nonstop. Like I feel guilty even talking to him. So you're really legitimately busy. Yeah. You're doing things nonstop. And then when I'm not doing things, there's usually like someone I need to be talking to or something I need, we're getting ready for the next thing you're going to do. So like to have somebody in the DJ booth, you're just like, ah, and you don't even have time to tell that until like get rid of them.

Speaker 1 (28:34): Well, it's just, it always ends bad. Right? If I, so you come up to me, can we come in the DJ booth? If I say yes, you're gonna nine times out of 10, they overwhelm overstay, their welcome something. It's spilled. You're talking to me while I'm busy. Like, it's just going to end with me saying, can you please leave? And then you feel salty. You can talk to me when I'm deejaying. Cause I'm not doing anything, but this guy's moving. Yeah. Um, and to be honest, because I'm an experience like DJ at Western down tomorrow and then deejaying at JJ bootlegger. Like I'm not gonna want to talk to anybody. I'm just going to be, I'm going to be sweating. I'm going to be, I'm going to smell bad because of all the sweats. And that's the secret is you need to stop wearing deodorant and then that'll keep people out of the DJ was way out.

Speaker 1 (29:18): Yeah. It might not come to the gig at all or get like something I could get you like a black licorice deodorant, black liggers have you smelled like Jaeger all night, weird girls like that. Yeah. That's true. You don't want to get, you don't want the king. You don't want me to kick. You want to tend to black licorice. You don't want her coming home with you. Oh God. Uh, but yeah, I think that's when you started getting annoyed, as somebody was hanging out in the DJ booth that you were like, why, what are you? Uh, and then there was people that were actually your friends that you wanted to talk to that weren't in the DJ booth and this person was like, hogging your space. Yeah. It's all good. It was a part of the, if that's the worst, you know, if that's what annoys me then like, yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (29:57): I'm okay. I'm sorry. Apologies. I went, so I hung out with, I was hanging out with some people that you knew, um, you know, everybody at every club. So that's, that means nothing. But I was hanging out with some people that were like that, that found me on Instagram because Nico tagged me in some posts and they were being really nice. And um, I was hanging out with them and we went, we were hanging out outside of the bar after I closed for a little while. And then these dudes who seemed really cool at first, uh, I was talking to, I was talking to the bouncer and these dudes were talking to them and I was busy. I didn't, I, my back turned to the one and he was, they were talking to everybody at first, which I think is a good sign. Whenever a dude is talking to the group and also acknowledging the guys too, I feel like that's a good sign that they're not going to be weird.

Speaker 1 (30:46): But then I started talking to the bouncer and the, I had my back turned to these two dudes and they started talking to my friends and they got so weird on him and started being grabby. And me and the bouncer, uh, almost had a fight. These guys, which to be clear, I wouldn't have fought anybody. I would have let them bouncer do it. And I would've been like, yeah, man, you get 'em, I'm gonna call some help. Whoa. Uh, I don't know them well enough to get in a fight, but, uh, it's so crazy because they were being really nice. But you just can't trust dudes at three in the morning, but we can go keep going through this. So yeah. W we were coming up with what rappers brothers names would be and one of them would be Eminem's half-brothers uh, partial Mathers. Uh moneybag yo, his brother's name would be money back. Good evening. Wait, hold on. Tory lanes, four lanes would be Tory isle, Tory Isles, Tory Isles. Yeah. Tory Isles, Tory lane story Isles. And then I can't let you skip past the money bag. Good evening. Money-back good evening. Arrive at moneybag goody because it's a different greeting. Yo is a greeting to back. Yo. Yeah. Moneybag money-back good evening.

Speaker 1 (31:58): Oh my God. I couldn't have been moneybag Hey money-back Hey, but that's not as like, hi. Yeah, but nah, it sucks. Yeah. Money-back good evening. I just, I look, can we go back to the, these Instagram comments? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. We might as well do this on the, on the shell. This is kind of cool. This might be the mom. Anyone? Yeah. Anyone in the comments, right? I can't see it. Cause Nico's got that privacy screen for his naked pictures here. Let me see for my naked fixtures. Definitely put a privacy screen on your phone. I've got nothing to hide. As a matter of fact, can't see what you're doing. As a matter of fact, I want people, if I'm, if my naked pictures ever get leaked, that's great. Cause I've been working hard. So I'm, I'm fine with it. Um, moving money back. Good evening.

Speaker 1 (32:37): Dead. Uh, uh, big shout out to the, how do you say their names? The Arman Tawny, our Montana Armand Tiny's Armand. Tawny brothers. Uh, yeah. Shout out to everybody. Who, what do you guys think about Tory Isles? I think toy Isles is a great one. Yeah. Uh, we should end this though, because I don't for now. I think when we get guests on and we ended up having really longer, like if we get guests and alcohol on, I think we'll end up shooting for three hours, which is fine. Yeah. Which is completely fine. Um, but for these, I feel like half an hour is a good, we got so many people that actually watched this. Hey, thanks for watching. Um, but yeah, this is good. Please subscribe. And if you aren't, uh, on our Instagram yet, that's kind of where we post clips of it. And we post the link to where you could see all of them. There's more clips coming that I still haven't published from the last podcast that was dead yesterday. We are on the cusp of greatness at an official Nico. So official Nico nugget on air ad nugget on air. We have a lot of content coming. We're going to be re mixing all this stuff. We got more guests coming up. Some of the guests are actually in the comments right now and we're going to find out, uh, about Florida's Dick.

#podcast #getyourlifetogether #nugget #florida #flo rida #rappers #rapper experience #hiphop #rapgame

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