#we have some real wild pieces in our collection

[rowanjasper]

Help i bought an Omodaka record a few months ago and now Im on a Soichi Terada kick that wont stop

Didnt even think about this till my partner was playing an emulation of Ape Escape that i realized Soichi was one of the first electronic musicians i listened to hours of. Bc my older brother had Ape Escape and it was one of the only games he let me play when i was 6

[starcurtain]

Fact Checking Some Myths About Aventurine and the IPC

Especially in light of Jade's new myriad celestia trailer and the reveal of the other Stonehearts, I've seen a ton of wild claims about Aventurine--particularly how he's an unwilling member of the Stonehearts and needs to be saved from the IPC--that just aren't sitting right with me because they're based significantly more on the fanon take that Aventurine is an "innocent victim" than any actual evidence displayed in the game. So I wanted to take the time to collect some in-game evidence to see if we can sort out what Aventurine's actual relationship to the IPC is. Time to do some fact checking--this is a long one, buckle up!

Claim #1: Aventurine was sentenced to die by the IPC.

Verdict: There's no actual evidence that Aventurine was ever sentenced to anything.

This entire idea that Aventurine was actually successfully sentenced to die by the IPC comes from two pieces of "evidence" in the game. First, the scene with Dr. Ratio where those words are stated:

Leaving aside whether the IPC legally has the right to sentence anyone to anything by themselves (they're a corporation, not an actual governing body), this is the exact line that Dr. Ratio fans have been bending over backward to prove is "just an act" and that Ratio would never actually mean this (because if he actually meant this, it would make him pretty racist). So if we've already busted our asses to prove this line isn't true and was just Ratio and Aventurine acting... why would we be using this line as evidence that Aventurine was actually sentenced to anything?

We can't say "This entire scene was an act because Sunday/the Family was listening in!" and then go "Okay, but this one part is definitely true (despite there not being any other evidence in game to corroborate the statement)." Either this scene is acting, and this line isn't true--or the line is true, and Ratio's kind of a racist. Make up your minds, people. 😂

Actually, I can help make up your mind. We can prove that this line is likely a strong part of Aventurine and Ratio's deliberate act because Ratio's comment (which took place in 2.0) doesn't actually make any sense once Aventurine's story is fully revealed (in 2.1).

Ratio relates Aventurine's slave brand to the IPC, suggesting that the brand is proof that Aventurine is "doomed" and "sentenced to die by the IPC." Ratio even goes so far to say "Or was it from the Amber Lord himself?"

But from 2.1, we know that Aventurine's brand had nothing to do with the IPC, and his former slave owner was definitely not an IPC employee (as he refers to the IPC the same as Aventurine's sister did, "the guys in black").

Aventurine's brand came from being owned by a non-IPC-affiliated slaver--it had nothing to do with the Stonehearts or even Oswaldo Schneider.

So Ratio's entire comment linking the brand to the IPC makes no sense, and therefore his statement that the brand marks Aventurine as a "doomed Sigonian thrall sentenced to die by the IPC" also makes no sense.

Instead, I would argue that this line is a perfect example of the kind of exaggerated acting that Ratio and Aventurine were doing specifically to make the eavesdropping Family see Aventurine as an easy target. With this line, Ratio is emphasizing that Aventurine is a sitting duck without his Cornerstone, that he'll be weak and helpless--and that no one in the IPC will come help him, because they've already sentenced him to die. This is Ratio deliberately baiting Sunday into thinking that Aventurine will be easy, isolated prey without his Cornerstone--which is exactly what Aventurine wanted Sunday to think.

This line, which comes from a scene that we've already established is a deliberate act to mislead someone, cannot be used as evidence of Aventurine's real situation within the IPC.

"But then what about the trial scene with Jade?!" I already hear people saying. "Aventurine was definitely going to be sentenced to death!"

I'm not arguing that death wasn't a possible option for Kakavasha initially; it's clear that committing severe enough crimes can earn you the death penalty in Star Rail's universe. But I think we need to take another good look at this scene and see what really happened here.

First, we need to clarify that this scene with Jade was not an actual trial. The scene begins with a broadcast which clarifies that the suspect in the "Egyhazo-Aventurine Fraud Case" was just caught, and the IPC are conducting investigations into the "motive of the suspect."

So Jade's scene with Aventurine is not an actual trial (I mean... Jade's not even legally a judge!); it's an investigation with the goal of determining why Kakavasha would have tried to scam the Intelligentsia Guild and IPC at Egyhazo.

We can confirm that this scene with Jade is not an actual trial because she is even says "We haven't been able to find you any defense [lawyer], so you perhaps will have to defend yourself."

To which Aventurine responds that he easily could defend himself from the charges--but that it's pointless to do so. Why? Because he never intends to get to a trial in the first place.

He's there to gamble with Diamond (who he asks to see right on the spot, indicating that he's done his research in advance and knows who the head honcho he needs to talk to is). Instead, Jade says that he'll have to gamble with her, to which he agrees, and lays down his terms.

(He even says "I bet you won't send me to the gallows." We know that Kakavasha always wins his bets--he bet she won't send him off to a trial to be executed, and he once again won his bet!)

Jade, known for picking out "unpolished stones with great potential" and promoting them into positions of power to extract their value, agrees immediately, and literally tells Kakavasha to go change his clothes right then and there. She really said "I like your confidence; you're hired on the spot."

So... This was not a trial, Kakavasha never went on trial, and because he never went on trial, we have zero evidence in-game that he was ever sentenced to anything.

The IPC doesn't give a shit about the murder of some no-name slaver (I mean come on, think of how many other murders they've covered up at this point--do you really think they're holding one past murder of a no-name NPC over Aventurine's head years later?).

They might give a shit about the money they lost on Kakavasha's schemes, but Jade's entire schtick is one of equivalence--having Kakavasha join the IPC as a Stoneheart means he will ultimately generate infinitely more wealth for them than his schemes ever cost them in the first place, and that's the central piece of Jade's statement in this scene:

Is Aventurine's whole role in the Stonehearts exploitative, focused on his endless ability to win bets and generate profit? YUP. But that's ALL the Stonehearts' goal at this point--he's not unique in being "exploited" for his value. One look at Topaz confirms that.

So, ultimately, we have no evidence that Kakavasha was ever sentenced for his crimes, let alone that he was sentenced to die specifically by the IPC.

Claim #2: The Stonehearts will execute Aventurine if he tries to leave or fails his mission(s).

Verdict: There's no actual evidence for this either, beyond the obvious that most people in a powerful enough position in an evil corporation probably can't just up and quit their jobs without consequences.

I've seen this idea that the Stonehearts are planning to execute Aventurine--either for his past crimes, for failing a mission, or for trying to leave the IPC--many, many places, and unfortunately, I really think people are reaching this conclusion strictly on "The IPC is evil" vibes alone.

The IPC is evil; they coerce nice people like Topaz to buying into lifelong contracts; they're colonizers and exploitative capitalists, so of course they would threaten to execute poor innocent Aventurine!

Look, I won't defend the IPC. They are evil. But post hoc, ergo proctor hoc--just because one thing is true, doesn't mean the other statement naturally follows.

Just because the IPC is evil and exploitative (and probably does kill people to shut them up) does not automatically mean they're out to execute Aventurine for the slightest mishap.

I've seen many people say "He was going to be executed for his past crimes, so what do you think will happen if he tries to leave the Stonehearts?" But A) We just established he never went to trial for those past crimes in the first place, so we have no idea if he would have actually been sentenced to death anyway, and B) We have no evidence in-game that any of Kakavasha's past crimes would be back on the table if he were to try to quit the IPC. This is literally just fanon, based on the vibes of the IPC being evil alone. Probably informed by Topaz's "lifelong contract" situation giving people the impression that everyone who works for the IPC has to have a lifelong contract.

What evidence do we have that Aventurine is not at-risk of being executed for screwing up a mission? I mean, Aventurine himself says it. When Jade first states that Aventurine might be punished for destroying a Cornerstone, the only two possible punishments he states are:

If execution was on the table, wouldn't that have been the first punishment Aventurine listed?

And Jade's myriad celestia trailer also states that the only punishment on the table is whether Aventurine will be expelled from the Stonehearts:

And the biggest proof that execution isn't on the table?

The fact that Diamond himself agrees that Aventurine should not be punished even for the serious act of willingly breaking a Cornerstone. If Aventurine can do something as serious as breaking part of Qlipoth's will and body, something he was told to treasure more than his own life, and still get away with it... You can bet the IPC really does not give a shit about his old schemes anymore. Aventurine is way too valuable alive for them to be constantly threatening to kill him.

(But then what about Obsidian's statement that she wants a "bloodbath"? Surely that's evidence that he would have died if they voted against him?

First of all, "bloodbath" is a pretty common metaphorical term. I don't know about you, but any time people get into big drama at my work, this term comes up ["They were all talking shit; it was a total bloodbath"]. "Bloodbath" can mean any intense struggle; it's often not literal death.

However, I'm inclined in this case to say that the real reason Hoyo threw in this "bloodbath" line was just to double down on Obsidian's obvious vampire aesthetic. She's a "vampire." Duh, of course she needs to say something about blood. I think this line speaks more to establishing Obsidian's character as a violent, self-centered person than anything to do with Aventurine's actual situation.)

So, there is no actual evidence in the game that Aventurine is still being held accountable for his past crimes, or that the IPC is planning to execute him for messing up on a mission.

In fact, there are several pieces of evidence in the story suggesting the opposite, that multiple people, including the other Stonehearts, think he's kind of crazy for trying to get himself killed every mission he goes on.

When Aventurine was affected by the Harmony's power, the "future" Aventurine asks him this directly.

"Why does every one of your schemes put your own life at risk?" And players are told the answer to that isn't because of the IPC--it's not because the Stonehearts are out here forcing Aventurine to gamble with his life. When the "Future" Aventurine suggests Aventurine might be taking these risks because of the IPC, real Aventurine flat out says "You don't know me at all." He's not taking the risks for the IPC--he's taking them for himself.

Later, "Future" Aventurine even says that if Aventurine just used tactics like Opal's--which he claims Aventurine could easily do--then he would have been able to claim Penacony for the IPC without putting himself at risk at all. But Aventurine chose not to do that; he chose "death."

Because Aventurine is actually, at least slightly, suicidal. I don't personally think Aventurine would ever have turned a fully-loaded gun on himself and pulled the trigger, but he was actively seeking opportunities to die. Before Penacony ended, he was deliberately putting himself into situations where his life was at risk, taking unnecessary gambles with his life on the line--because then he would win either way. If he won the gamble, he would get whatever prize was promised, and if he lost the gamble, then he would have the "freedom" of death, to be reunited with his family. (It's important to note that the only time the word "freedom" is used in Aventurine's story through 2.1 is in direct reference to death--it is never used in reference to getting "free" from the IPC.)

Aventurine's plans were not self-destructive because of the IPC. They were self-destructive because he was self-destructive. And, in fact, multiple other members of the Stonehearts call out this behavior as a bad thing.

Jade describes Aventurine's ploy in Penacony as "overplaying his hand."

Topaz describes Aventurine's work habits as:

Then there's even Sugilite, who clocks Aventurine's suicidal tendency directly by stating that Aventurine's "death" scheme in Penacony wasn't for the IPC at all--it was entirely for himself.

If the Stonehearts were holding execution over Aventurine's head at all times, why would death be an "unnecessary [personal] extravagance"?

The takeaway from all the other Stonehearts' dialogue about Aventurine is that they actually think he goes too far and that his methods are more risky with his own life than they need to be.

Does that sound like a group of people who are planning to kill him on the drop of the hat?

Okay, okay, I can hear you saying "But that still doesn't mean he can leave the Stonehearts without consequences. They would kill him if he tried to leave."

To that I say: A) There's no actual in-game evidence for that statement; it's literally just "IPC is evil so they definitely would do this" vibes, but B) Is that statement really unique to Aventurine? Do you think Topaz could leave the Stonehearts without consequences? Do you think Jade could just fuck off and leave the IPC if she got the desire to?

It's pretty typical, I would think, that anyone who achieves a high-ranking in a stereotypical "evil capitalist mega-corporation" is not free to just abandon their high up position without consequences. The phrase "You know too much" comes to mind.

I'd argue that people are probably right--Aventurine probably could not leave the Stonehearts without something severe happening, at the very least a memory wipe--but that this is probably true of all the Stonehearts. They're too far up the chain. They know too much about the inner-workings of the literal planet-destroying world-domination company. They've had too much access to insider info to easily leave their positions.

Not being able to easily leave the position has nothing to do with Aventurine personally or his past crimes. It's just (at least likely) a basic fact of being too high up in the morally-grey-at-best super organization. (Well, then again, apparently no one even knows if Agate is dead or not, so maybe they actually don't even care lol.)

Claim #3: Aventurine didn't want to join the IPC; he's working with the IPC only because he's forced to.

Verdict: The game suggests in several places that Aventurine joined the IPC of his own free will. Whether he's still loyal to them is not 100% clear.

I think this is the biggest question mark I'm left with when reading other people's posts about Aventurine--this enduring idea that Aventurine never wanted to join the IPC and was only forced to do so because he was captured and death was his only other option.

But that is literally not what the game is telling us at all. The game tells us--in multiple places--that Aventurine orchestrated his own circumstances so that he could gain an audience with Diamond and win a position within the Stonehearts by his own gambles.

First, let's re-examine that scene with Jade. One of the first things Jade says is "What kind of person would come up with a scheme [the Egyhazo fraud] that doesn't benefit them in any way?"

The takeaway from this is that Kakavasha did not actually stand to gain anything from scamming the Intelligentsia Guild into digging for Tayzzyronth's remains in the desert at Egyhazo. All he achieved with this fraud was putting himself at risk of being caught by the IPC.

Does that sound like Aventurine to you? The guy whose mantra is literally:

So obviously, Aventurine stood to gain something from scamming the IPC at Egyhazo. What could he possibly have wanted to achieve by creating a scheme that seemingly didn't directly benefit him? Well, he says it himself:

Aventurine wanted to be brought before the IPC. He got caught on purpose. He once again gambled with his own life, betting that, instead of being put on trial for all his past crimes, he could convince Diamond (though it ended up being Jade) to invest in him. The game literally tells you, in multiple places, that Aventurine was taking another one of his stereotypically crazy, potentially self-destructive gambles to try to achieve something:

Aventurine wanted the IPC to invest in him. He wanted in on their power and wealth. No one in the IPC forced him to target their organization not once but twice with his "desert-digging schemes" when it is clear that Aventurine could easily make money elsewhere. No one forced him to suggest this gamble with Jade to convince the IPC to invest in him. No one forced him to, in the words of the game itself, "seek a Cornerstone."

Aventurine's character stories are the only indications we have (for now) about what his motivations for joining the IPC might have been:

They suggest he joined with the intention of gaining wealth and power to help his people and others who aided him in the past--only to find out that that was no longer possible, invalidating his original reason for joining and likely leaving him without motivation or will to really even stay in the powerful position he had worked to get into. Part of his suicidality is likely linked to this--that he set himself a massive, unbelievable goal in an attempt to gain power and wealth to finally help his people--only to be entirely too late. But in any case, these character stories make it clear that he did personally seek to join the IPC of his own free will.

(And I mean, hello? The whole point of Jade as a character is being the one who sees people's desires and then grants them--ergo, Aventurine's desire was, in fact, to join the IPC himself.)

If we needed any more corroborating evidence for this, just consider everything post-Penacony, when Aventurine has decided that he does actually value his life now and wants to live. Aventurine would have had so many chances to "escape" the IPC if he so chose. First, he could easily have pretended to actually die within the Nihility. He could have entirely fucked off with Argenti's help, created a new identity, and made himself a pile of independent wealth from gambles, all without the IPC ever knowing where he went. But he didn't.

Then, he had a second chance to betray the IPC and fuck off again with Boothill's help. Boothill had already knocked out Aventurine's bodyguards at the door--there was literally no one else around. A little blood on the floor and no one would have doubted that the IPC-hating, wanted vigilante Boothill had done away with Aventurine.

Hell, Aventurine knows the Trailblazer. One word to the Trailblazer, and Aventurine could board the Astral Express and be whisked off to the other side of the universe.

But none of those things happened. Aventurine made no effort to remove himself from the IPC--even though he knew he had broken a Cornerstone and would be facing possible punishment. He didn't even make a single mention of trying to "escape" the IPC at all.

Because he isn't trying to.

(And edit, an addendum, because I kept seeing this on Twitter too: A bunch of people were claiming that because Aventurine wasn't smiling when he got his Cornerstone back, that was evidence that he hates the IPC and doesn't want to be there:

Like... did they forget that every single time Aventurine makes his major gambles, he has such anxiety that he can never convince himself to believe he'll actually win, to the point that the "Future" Aventurine accuses him of clenching his trembling hand beneath the table? Is it really that surprising that someone who never actually believes he's going to win would have a shocked face when he does win here, especially after witnessing the literal power of an aeon restore something he thought was broken forever? Come on now...)

Would the guy who always wins his gambles bet that he would get a promotion if he absolutely didn't want his job?

People really, really seem to struggle with this aspect of Aventurine's character, going out of their way to ignore the game's text and suggest that he definitely absolutely would never, ever have joined the IPC of his own free will. People really hate the idea that Aventurine is a morally-grey character who makes choices that are actively harmful to himself, like willingly joining an organization that is exploiting him.

Knowing that the IPC played a part in the Avgin extinction, people literally cannot fathom that Aventurine would willingly join them.

But I think that denying this part of Aventurine's character is bad. There's no need to reduce Aventurine to an innocent, helpless victim who is being exploited against his will and who would never do a single evil thing himself. That's not who the game is telling us he is.

The game tells us, repeatedly, that Aventurine is a survivor who will do whatever it takes to succeed at whatever he sets his mind to--even up to murdering innocent people to survive himself. Up to willingly joining the IPC to seek wealth and power. He's not a 100% good person who is still being forced through an existence he has no control over.

He's a self-destructive gambler who makes terrible choices with his own life, and willingly joining the IPC to let the Stonehearts exploit his abilities is one of the most obvious indications of that in the game.

Please stop denying Aventurine his complex, three-dimensional character writing to make him your pure, innocent trauma woobie. I'm begging people.

Claim #4: Aventurine wants revenge on Oswaldo Schneider.

Verdict: There's no evidence in the game (yet) that Aventurine is even aware of Oswaldo Schneider's role in the Avgin extinction, let alone actively trying to seek revenge for it.

Personally, this one hurts me the most, because this is where I'd like to see the story going. I want it to be that Aventurine was partially motivated to join the IPC specifically to orchestrate an inside job and get the Avgins' revenge on Oswaldo Schneider.

But even I have to admit that there's currently no evidence for this at all in the story.

For one, we have no confirmation in-game that Aventurine actually knows Schneider's direct role in the Avgin extinction. Aventurine clearly knows that the IPC could have intervened (he was there; he saw they didn't do anything), but we have no actual confirmation in the game's text that Aventurine knows Schneider told his people not to get involved, leading to the massacre. The only reason we players know of this is relic text, which isn't available canonically to characters in the game.

It is very likely that Aventurine is smart enough to figure this out or do the research to learn it, but as of right now, we don't have that confirmation in game.

Similarly, we players are given no access to Aventurine's actual conversations with Boothill. We have no idea what they talked about other than this one statement:

It seems likely, based on this, that Aventurine did say something to Boothill about being willing to go after Oswaldo Schneider, but we won't know for sure until the game reveals more.

What we do know is that even if Aventurine does give Boothill information on Oswaldo, it might not really be because Aventurine wants personal revenge.

Oswaldo's Marketing Development Department is basically the sworn enemy of the Stonehearts' Strategic Investment Department. The two groups are in an internal cold war, vying for "votes" from the seven board members who are actually leading the IPC.

So even if we see Aventurine taking actions against Oswaldo, it might not be because of a personal grudge, but because literally Aventurine's entire department hates Oswaldo Schneider's guts on principle in the first place.

So it's very difficult to say what is going on with Aventurine and Oswaldo Schneider at this point, and in the end, we just need to wait for more information.

Phew, all right! That was definitely long enough. I've gotten it all off my chest. I hope I've managed to give people some more canon material to chew on for another look at Aventurine's character, which is rich and complex and definitely cannot be reduced to simply "pure innocent victim babygirl."

Maybe now I'll be a little less salty when I see misinformation spreading like a wildfire again on Twitter.

Maybe.

Ha ha, who am I kidding.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

Maybe a wild off-base theory but what if the GO God didn't exist? That could be some beautiful commentary.

I just thought of how Aziraphale has referred to God as she/her (in the show anyway) and how Crowley has referred to God as they/them, and how that would actually align to my personal HC that God appears differently to everyone based on their perception of her/them/him/the world at large.

Then I thought of my own perspective on the actual character of God in our society, as someone who is atheistic/agnostic, and how this figure was created and how religion in general means such different things to different people and how this drives people's behaviors despite maybe not even being true. And then I thought about how the Metatron is like, supposedly the voice of God, but then supposedly so are certain humans like alleged prophets and also people who own private jets and shit while other human beings starve on the streets. Like, what if the Voice of God we hear in S1 was just an imagined personality (by Adam, who in the books quickly knows everything about Crowley and Aziraphale?) narrating the general POV?

Like that would just speak a lot to the characters acting completely of their own motivation, but disguising it through a character that doesn't even exist, and using that to collectively justify whatever awful actions they already wanted to take. Which (from my perspective) just mirrors humans so beautifully (beautifully as in "beautiful and terrible as the morning and night").

HOWEVER -- we do see literal Satan appear in GOS1. And we appear to see God speak to Job in GOS2. And I don't think there's really enough time to make "God isn't real" a meaningful plot in GOS3, so that's probably not a thing.

But I have always thought and still think that whatever Heaven is doing has a strong possibility of being divorced from whatever God actually wanted. Or maybe She just put all the pieces into place and let them go at it to see what would happen. Or maybe God really did command most of the death and destruction and mayhem against the human race and is supposed to be an awful character, IDK. 🤷‍♀️

But that was a fun thought experiment in free will and self-determination.

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Daryl came home from a run.

And he was happy to be doing so, unlike some tine before where he preffered to stay outside of the Alexandria walls where his inner animal could run wild and he didn't have to pretend to be a human only to stay within the community.

His life within the walls was better nowadays. Two loving partners and no fear of being thrown out of the community for being a monster.

He had found some small trinkets to take home on top of the needed items he had listed when he set off and he couldn't wait to show them his finds.

When he entered the livingroom his girls were already in high spirits, tidying up the place and singing along to one of the records from their collection. Sherry busied herself putting the blankets back over the couch cushions as Tabby put away the dishes.

They noticed him almost immediately and dropped their items to go greet him with a joined hug and lots of welcome home kisses were shared.

Quiestions of "how did it go?" "What did you find?" and "Did you get hurt?" Were thrown at him before he even had a chance to take off his boots but he didn't mind it. Making it home in one piece made him feel like the luckiest man alive.

"M'fine. Ain't gettin' hurt on a two-day supply run." He reassured them by punctuating each sentence with eskimo kisses.

"Did find a lil' somethin' for ya." The girls quickly let go in anticipation. He could see in their eyes they were wondering what he had brought, so he fished for the box in his pocket and took it out. It wasn't much, all dusty and damaged but it still did its job of protecting what's inside.

He held out the little box and let the girls open it, revealing a set of four-leaf clover charms on golden chains. Daryl handed the box over and fished out one of the necklaces.

"Yer part Irish, so ya gotta have one a'these." Daryl fumbled with the delicate closing of the necklace and carefully went to put it around Tabby's neck. "Looks pretty on ya. Like it's supposed ta be there." His hands found her cheeks as he admired his partner, leaning in for a love filled kiss.

He moved to take another one.

"Ya said yer birthday's on St. Patty's day, s'got them clovers all over it." His hands wrapped around her to clasp the necklace around her as she nodded. "Yeah. I did say that." She felt loved by the fact that he remembered that from mentioning it only once, leaning in for a kiss as soon as she felt the chain rest comfortably on her skin.

"N'this," He took the third one from the box to put around his own neck. "This one's ta show e'ryone how damn lucky I got with y'all."

"There's one left, one for Dog?" Daryl only chuckled at rhe redhead's comment.

"Nah, s'fer our kid." He paused for a moment. "If ya want one, tha' is. Ain't gon' forca ya."

The two girls gave each other a look, one that spoke a million words that only they understood. Daryl hated when they did that because it always meant something was about to go horribly sideways.

Except this time it didn't.

It was Sherry who fished out something from her pocket. "We got someting for you too, big guy." The nerves had her shaking with her hand still in her pocket so Tabby leaned in for help, one arm wrapped around her partner while the other one led the hand holding Daryl's gift out of her pocket.

They held out the small piece of plastic as Tabby happily spoke for the other. "Won't have to wait much longer for that!" She shimmied up against Sherry's side to comfort. "We found out this morning, she wasn't feeling well and we hadn't really been careful.." Daryl joined in then, grabbing both his girls in a giant bear hug. "S'amazing."

He could feel Sherry's nerves not settling at all so he made sure to give her all the reasuurance she needed. "Ya know we're gon' be takin'care of ya real good, righ'?" Tabby agreed with a rub on her shoulder, and got a quiet but smiling nod in return, letting them know she just needed a moment to let it all settle.

"M'so lucky I found ya girls. Wouldn't want it any other way."

🍀 🍀 🍀 🍀

Sherry is mine

Tabby is @celtic-crossbow 's

[granulesofsand]

do you think it’s unsafe/dangerous to post about system functions? i would like to post ours, just so we have a better understanding of it, but im not sure if journaling would be better instead. we prefer online stuff because some alters have trouble writing.

We keep separate journals from our social media, and we have a couple safeties in place when we do. If it’s just typing that feels better, you can use a note app or keep everything in drafts (read privacy policies and terms of service if you’re doing that).

While we’re pretty open about how our system works online, we’re not particularly inclined to give identifying information for our body or any member of our collective. There are creeps online, so have a plan for how vague you’d like to be and which pieces to keep to yourself/ves

We queue almost everything. Current events in our life actually took place about a month ago, and any details of our structures or even opinions typically sit for three to five days so we can regret them before the world sees. We only post photos when we’ve left an area, and we change the location and timestamp when possible. Determine how much you(&) want strangers to know about your(&) life at any given time, and give yourself/ves space to discuss big topics before sending them out

Get consent from headmates or prepare to fight. Mentioning system members and their activities can feel violating, especially if anyone has exploitation trauma. Permission every time is ideal unless you know them really well (and even then you might offend them by accident)

Sharing account names and emails/phone numbers across platforms can get you(&) tracked easily. Decide what content you’re posting and remember that outsiders can find you(&) in a video game or gushing over an interest in the wild. Keep separate sideblogs and user info for different topics unless you(&)’re real comfy with people knowing that much about you(&). The more you(&) connect in public, the crisper the picture you(&) give for people looking for you(&)

Lying is okay. Change names, give a funky time period, construct a persona online. That’s harder to do with a journal on the internet, but you(&) need some barrier between the depths of your(&) soul(s) and the general populace. If you(&) are more authentic online, you(&) might have to be less authentic offline to stay safe

And to actually answer the question: no, I don’t think it’s safe to post system functions online. Catch me doing it anyway.

We find that social media allows us to get some peer interaction without the risk of irl relationships being compromised. We can share bits here and then turn around and say those things out loud in therapy

We can say that we’ve heard of others like us and learn what’s normal for our subgroup instead of humans in our town. People understand us, and we get more comfortable diverging from the norm in both modes of life

This much talking to strangers and practicing etiquette makes us better at opening communication amongst ourselves

We get feedback and learn to deal with criticism — including what is important to hear and change and what people are just mouthing off about

Most of us know that we can look for notes on our life (the stuff that didn’t make it into the letters) on this account. We get used to seeing each other’s writing and perspective, and so are less avoidant when we notice these things in physical reality

You(&) get to choose between your(&) own pros and cons. Maybe it’s not worth it to you(&); that’s fine, there are alternatives. Maybe you(&) want to give it a try; good luck, people can be both incredible kind and absolutely scathing. I do recommend asking around/leaving notes for your systemmates to determine what their concerns are, if any. There are shades of how far you(&) might go with each aspect going forth. It’ll probably be messy at first, but you(&)’ll learn. I’ve yet to disappear my system’s online presence, so clearly I enjoy it.

[thatoneluckybee]

OKAY THOUGHTS TIME

This should be more coherent than last weeks where I lost my mind since this episode feels more like a lead-up to the drama rather than the drama itself. Which is exciting!

It’s 6:48 A.M. and they’re heading to school…. y’all I keep forgetting it’s been less than 48 hours since Tyler got kebabed. It’s been well over a year real-time so it’s so easy to forget these kids literally get NO break.

They all look so exhausted :(

Rest In Pieces Logan’s Glasses. He looks terrifying without them, but glad he has contacts. Makes me wonder, will they be broken or intact in the Phantom World? I think they’ll be intact since (if I remember correctly been a few weeks since I’ve reread) once they interact with an object in Phantom World, the Real World stops affecting it. Like the jeep. Also, are we gonna get contacts Logan from now on, will he get a new style of glasses, or will he just replace the lenses in a few episodes? (Also that hurt as a Glasses User who does not wear them as often as she technically needs to I don’t like them sensory eueuhhj. They must be SO expensive)

Again, WHERE IS AIDEN’S MADRE?

Ryan following them again… go away sir.

I can’t tell if Mike was glancing back because he notices Ryan’s car following them or if he was just checking on the Graveyard Gang… but I wouldn’t put it past him to notice they’re being trailed. He’s very observant.

Okay little screaming moment… HDJKWHBJKHJIHJWI THAT PANEL KILLED ME (Everyone looks so DONE and ANGRY and EXHAUSTED and the collective “No.” was GREAT. And then we have Ben looking like a troubled cat that’s just… disappointed. It’s cracking me up)

Logan likes french toast and Taylor likes egg and sausage biscuits, noted.

BARRON GET YO CRUSTY HINEY AWAY BEFORE I SMACK YOU WITH A FLYSWATTER YOU P E S T

They all looked SO COOL telling those losers off. It hurts so much to see how resilient they’ve gotten, honestly. At the start of the series they would’ve been scared or crying, now they’re just mildly irked. They’ve witnessed horrors. (Also boy RUN Ben is about to go FERAL on you)

Logan is scaring me. If they are turning into phantoms, he’s turning fast. It seems triggered by negative emotions…. that could be why Logan and Taylor seem the most affected right now?

Ashlyn is breaking my heart but I’m still so proud of her. Sucks HOW she’s learned to open up but seeing her now compared to the beginning is insane. Purposely avoiding ANY human contact and relationships to dead-seriously asking Logan to stay with her. I love how much she’s grown. And her hand was shaking… she’s getting good at being more vulnerable too!

Barron doin’ the little “I’M WATCHING YOU” sign is too funny to me— AND TAYLOR DOES IT BACK UYHIGYHIGYH I MISSED THAT THE FIRST READ

I WAS FEHWJFRIHIGUJ I NEEEEEED THE MR THOMAS LORE NOW. HOW DOES HE KNOW? Okay actually I have a few possible theories:

He is a part of or has encountered the crane organization. I still can’t still if the origami on his desk was symbolism, foreshadowing, or both.

He’s got eye bags. Could be natural (like mine) or… could Mr. Thomas also be in the Phantom World? Or he was when he was younger? If so, he would be REALLY valuable as an asset for our group. If he was when he was a high schooler as well but escaped that could help too. Now I’m just ITCHING for lore

AUGH I love Red’s pacing but it’s so annoying at the same time. I can TELL we as a collective are staring to figure things out (and as a collective I mean everyone on Tumblr and the Webtoon comments) but we literally just don’t have enough information to fill in the blank spaces without wild guessing. And we have SOME answers but we don’t know what questions they answer yet. Does get me SUPER pumped for the future of the series though!

EDIT: BUZZCUT’S NAME IS RYAN THANK YOU @planetarymesss

[sugar-omi]

angst time :,) n a little comfort at the end bc I'm a sucker

i started thinking abt mc leaving rockstar cove after they get hurt bc of that crazy 'fan' (to the anon who brought it up, YOUBE BROKEN ME<////3)

even though you want nothing to do w him anymore, he'd pay for everything. even if you move out he'll pay for whatever you want and need until you're ready to go back to work

doesnt matter how much money you have, he'd feel so bad and this is the least he can do to relieve his guilt and your troubles.

I think him leaving music is very spontaneous yk that

he took a bit of a break before he tried doing shows again but it just wasn't the same. not like before he met you and definitely didn't feel the same as when you were dating.

so before the last song, he mumbles, only audible because of the mic, that this is rhe last show he's ever doing.

the crowd gasps and murmurs collectively, his crew and manager are freaking out backstage n baxter is prbly cussing him out thru the earpiece bc wtf is he doing? we never talked abt this???

and the last song cove plays is some sad song he wrote :,,)

he's crying in the middle of it, slow tears running down his face and by the end he covers his face, hands shaking and he exhales shakily.

he's in such ruins after everything that happened, and he thought he could move on, but he can't. it's too different. everything is too real now to ignore or play off. it's not simple anymore. it's real and it got dangerous and it's scary and hes.. he's tired.

he'll thank all his wonderful fans for supporting him, for all the love, especially after that stalker.

but through tears he gives a big fuck you to everyone who harassed him and especially you.

the internet totally breaks. the news is bumping for weeks especially with every new piece that comes out

"rockstar suddenly quits"

"hardass rockstar, cove holden, crying on stage during last show"

I'm torn between cove deactivating his socials and him just leaving everything as it is.

doesn't touch it unless you ask him to change his bio n pfp and everything.... that crushes him. he cries and cries n it takes so long to delete every post/photo of you/both of you. (he downloads every one, even if he knows he has the photo still.)

the internet breaks again, n if his fans know your socials n you took cove outta your bio/deleted your photos, etc. it just confirms the rumors that you're broken up.

which leads to a few a lot articles n posts n threads abt why you broke up, or fans in ruins bc they liked you together n hoped it wasn't true.

if it gets bad or annoying or whatever, and especially if you ask before he can act altho it wouldn't take long before he makes a statement or post on whatever remaining social he has to "Stay outta our business. leave y/n alone."

and maybe the pap, creepy as always, see you and cove moving things out the house into your car or uhaul depending on how much you run away with (you can take all his left shoes n he wouldn't complain)

n now the photos n articles are circulating like wild fire and cove tries to be civil telling everyone to stfu n get out your business, but somehow he ends up making a dark, pixelated video of him in what looks like the kitchen? cussing out the pap n telling everyone to just stop n fuck off, that you're blowing it up too much n to just stop

it blows over eventually, resurfacing here and there over the years

ik rockstar cove is dramatic n wild n blah blah blah, he's crazy ik stfu I think he's great n hes like the next beyonce in my head i think but yes he is a drama queen and he's still a big crybaby

definitely ends up back w his dad, helping w his shop early on (definitely got caught behind the register once bc some fan made a tiktok captioned "cove fucking holden just rang up my surfboard and stuff im going to FAINT" and now the shop is more busy than usual)

when you run into each other again and catch up, he definitely cries and can't stop feeling bad for not protecting you better. for not doing more even though he did the most whole youbwere together to keep you safe from crazy and delusional fans

please tell him it's not his fault, bc he really did do everything before and after the attack and you'll never regret being w him. he'd blame himself so much and would cry with relief to know you don't hate him

[skeletonpunching]

Buddy Daddies future plot theories (ep 2 guy, Rei backstory, etc)

With two episodes of Buddy Daddies out, along with a good amount of promo material, that's enough to activate the part of my brain which loves constructing elaborate conspiracy walls with red string and frantic scrawling. So I've done a lot of theorising about what the rest of the plot has in store. This may all very well be proven completely wrong as soon as next episode, but it's fun to think about in the meantime!

Note: contains wild speculation, spoilers for episodes 1 and 2, information from various promotional materials

First off, there's the question of:

Episode 2 Edgelord

aka Ogino Ryo. We don't see a lot of him, but what we get is enough to convey that he's Bad News. Kugi reacts to him with immediate recognition, and a respectful wariness that indicates this guy is an established name in the business (and it's also significantly more distant and respectful than the way Kugi treats Kazuki and Rei, ha).

Kugi's caution seems warranted, given that this guy is apparently the kind of edgelord who goes around collecting people's last words. Fun fact: his gun is engraved with "I want nothing but death", which are reportedly Jane Austen's last words. He really commits to a theme, I guess.

From the partial glimpses we get of his face in the cafe and the post-ED scene, I think it's very likely that he is one of the characters we see in the OP - further evidence that he'll be pretty prominent from now on.

(EDIT: And he just got added to the character bios as well, though it mostly just confirms what we already knew: he’s a mean murder machine.)

(EDIT 2: The character bio got a stealth edit: turns out he’s “connected with the incident in which Kazuki's wife died”, and Kazuki doesn’t know this yet. He’ll definitely be introducing a whole lot of complications for our guys, then!)

So who is Ogino Ryo, exactly, other than an assassin who dresses like a businessman but has a secret gothic soul? My guess is that, narratively, he'll serve as an early-arc antagonist (a tutorial boss, you could say) - the first real threat we see Kazuki and Rei face in their job. It's also likely that he's connected to a larger organisation somehow, and the show will build up to showing us the real larger antagonist behind him, in a later episode.

And that larger antagonist might very well be...

Rei's Dad

Most of the information we have about Rei's father right now comes from promotional material, but even in the series itself, we can make some guesses about his characterisation from his son. I mean, look at Rei. That's not a guy who had a functional childhood.

And indeed, the official character bios (which I translated here) state that Rei was born into a large mob family, and his parents gave him assassin training ever since he was a child. Also, in the trailer, we hear Rei's father telling him, "Don't call me Father. I am your boss." So yeah, a real piece of work.

I think it's likely that he appears in the OP as well, as the man in the centre of this shot (with a gang of underlings at his command - Ogino Ryo might have been one at some point).

So it's very probable that Rei's father will be involved heavily in the plot in future, which makes a lot of sense - having Rei grapple with his feelings about his terrible mobster dad enhances the theme of found family versus blood family, and is a very convenient way to combine the family theme with the assassin storyline of "OH NO PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING AT US", all within a nice compact 13 episodes.

One reasonable way to bring Rei’s dad into the plot would be to have him give Kazuki and Rei a job. As for what this job could potentially be...

The "Traitor"

aka Satoru Kaji. Yeah, we're really going down the rabbit hole now. Satoru Kaji is not a character who has been formally introduced so far; he's made one fleeting appearance in the OP, at the bottom right of this shot:

As for the other people shown here, Atsushi Hayami, aka "big Guy Brokers" (what an amazing title, by the way; I want that to be my band name), is Miri's biological father, i.e. one of their targets. Mattie Caruso, the jeweller, is the unfortunate target at the start of episode 1 who was shot for interrupting Kazuki and Rei's marital tiff. Heihachiro Matsuda, in the pink shirt, is the episode 2 target whose golfing session was interrupted by their break-in. I don't think Kenji Terahashi has appeared yet.

But I do think we've seen Satoru Kaji - though not in the show itself.

In the aforementioned trailer, we see Rei having a one-on-one fight with a grey-haired man:

He has a pretty strong resemblance to the Satoru Kaji photo.

So who is this mysterious "traitor"? Who has he betrayed? Perhaps he was part of Rei's dad's organisation, and turned against them, and so Rei's dad hires Kazuki and Rei to assassinate him?

(EXTRA WILD CONJECTURE ALERT: As a side note, the same trailer also shows Kazuki having a one-on-one fight scene of his own. Maybe Kazuki's opponent is also associated with Satoru Kaji? This is an extra speculative guess, though; quite possibly they both just coincidentally have a fondness for light-coloured jackets and find Kazuki and Rei very annoying. But I just think "assassin duo vs assassin duo" would be a very fun concept.)

(EDIT after ep 3: this one is a no-go after the third ep; it’s a pity, but it was a long shot anyway. Still keeping my fingers crossed that we might get some sort of assassin duo vs assassin duo action down the line!)

So what does it all mean?

It's anyone's guess how all these pieces fit together, but here's one possibility I see:

The first arc of the series is setup, establishing Ogino Ryo as tutorial boss, and his ties to some more powerful entity. This arc will probably have more episodic or one-off missions, balanced with Kazuki and Rei getting used to parenting.

Rei's dad gets introduced towards the end of the first arc.

After the first arc, we get a brief happy family interlude, where Kazuki and Rei have sort of figured out things like "daycare" and "not letting your kid play with guns". This might also be when the flash-forward takes place (the scene at the start of episode 1, where they assassinate the jeweller).

The second half of the series disrupts their relatively peaceful family life. Theoretically, this is when Rei's dad might give them the job to assassinate the "traitor". This overarching plot could also be related to the jewellery smuggling, since we know the jeweller was working for someone else, and Kazuki was insistent on them taking the mission. Maybe this seemingly throwaway incident will actually turn out to be important enough to come back in future?

(And while I'm putting all my wildest dreams out there, I'd just like to note that I think 13 episodes is the perfect length to have a flashback episode mid-series - the first 6 episodes as the setup arc, episode 7 as a full flashback showing Kazuki and Rei's backstories and how they met, and the last 6 episodes as the Shit Is Getting Very Real plot. But that is just my ideal, and I have zero evidence to believe this will happen. I can only hope, as with all of this.)

Naturally, it is also possible that all this means nothing, and I will be a massive clown. But we've covered that.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading this wall of conspiracy ranting! As a palate cleanser, I leave you with Miri looking at the Symbolic Family Fish.

[rabbitcruiser]

Penguin Awareness Day 

Learn about these birds through documentaries, get up close and personal at your local zoo or donate to conservation charities working to protect them.

Penguins are fun and interesting animals that are unique in many different ways. There are currently over 18 different known species of penguin and some of them have been around the planet for well over 65 million years. They’re a beloved animal thanks to many popular depictions in movies and children’s stories, but they’re also fascinating birds that have piqued the interest of many people all over the world.

However, what most people don’t realize is that penguin numbers around the world are dwindling. Every year, the penguin population shrinks at an alarming rate and most of the world doesn’t realize this because they don’t get to see “real” penguins in their natural habitat. That’s why Penguin Awareness Day is such a good opportunity to learn more about penguins and understand the situation they’re in. It could lead to an appreciation for penguins and could even convince you to donate to help ensure that they can continue living on our planet for another 65 million years!

Penguin Awareness Day helps to bring some reality to people’s depictions of penguins that typically come from animated films and cartoons. Penguins are often seen as laid-back animals that love to swim around, take care of their children and socialize. This is a pretty accurate representation of what penguins do on a daily basis, but it doesn’t show the environment that the penguins live in and how it’s constantly changing around them.

Penguin Awareness Day is a time to celebrate and commemorate penguins, but unless we do something as a collective to help penguins thrive in the wild, there may be none left in the near future. That’s why the main focus of Penguin Awareness Day is to educate people on their situation, learn how climate change has affected them and also learn about the different species and where they live.

History of Penguin Awareness Day

Penguins are a barometer of the effects of human activity on the poles, according to scientists from institutions around the world. Raising awareness about them, therefore, is seen by many as a way to communicate with people about the impending dangers of climate change. If people can see how these birds are being affected, perhaps they will make changes to their lives.

Laboratories and scientific institutions worldwide became increasingly interested in Penguin Awareness Day after 2010. Their main aim is to highlight their penguin-related research and get the public interested in conservation.

For instance, Polito Lab released a video talking about what it was doing to study the lives of these lovable birds in Antarctica in 2017. LSU College of the Coast and Environment also jumped on the bandwagon, posting video content on Facebook. It featured short clips of penguins getting up to their usual antics with important messages posted over the top about how they live. According to the informational piece, penguins spend the majority of their lives either on the ice or in the water. Their colonies vary in size considerably, from just a few dozen to millions. Their diet is mainly krill and fish, and they create so-called “penguin highways” through the ice to make it easier to collect food.

Penguins, however, picky eaters. When you live in Antarctica, you have to consume whatever calories you can find, even if it is shrimp caught in the ice from years. Penguins need to consume specific types of food to keep their feathers and eggshells healthy. Scientists now say that they can take samples from these components and determine the quality of their diet. Now that’s quite an achievement!

In 2020, Cincinnati Zoo jumped on the Penguin Awareness Day bandwagon following the Twitter frenzy on the subject. The public amenity released a press release about the new habitat it had created for its blue penguins.

Penguin Awareness Day is, for that reason, an opportunity for everyone involved in the life of penguins to chip in and talk about this vital creature. Remember, the penguin is the largest animal to venture into the heart of Antarctica to breed. It is a tough little cookie and worth celebrating.

How to celebrate Penguin Awareness Day

Celebrating Penguin Awareness Day usually involves visiting a penguin exhibit at a local zoo. It’s a great opportunity to learn more about penguins, what they eat, how they socialize and also the environment they live in. However, it’s also a good opportunity to learn more about how climate change has affected them and what can be done to help their situation. You might get suggestions on charities that help penguins and donations are always appreciated to help their cause.

However, if you don’t have a local zoo nearby, then celebrating Penguin Awareness Day can be done indoors, even with your children. Penguin documentaries are a great way to learn more about penguins if you have teenage children, but if they’re still young and are expecting something fun and quirky for Penguin Awareness Day, then you could watch a penguin-related film together, even if it’s a cartoon. You can also watch videos on YouTube that talk about penguins and their situation to learn more about the wonderful species.

You can also think about donating to charities that specifically cater to the needs of penguins. The Global Penguin Society, for instance, does conservation work designed to protect the penguin’s natural habitat. It also advocates for the protection of the Southern Oceans – the principal place where penguins live. It wants to protect all eighteen species of wild penguins found throughout the southern hemisphere so that future generations can enjoy them.

Some charities also let you “adopt a penguin,” for a small amount of money every month. In return, you get regular updates on how your penguins are doing. And you can find out more about ongoing efforts to reduce fishing encroachment on their feeding grounds. Penguins are susceptible to fishing stock depletion so conservationists need to manage this carefully.

Lastly, you can also use the hashtag #PenguinAwarenessDay on social media to either learn more about penguins or even educate others about penguins and their situation.

Source

[theoddcatlady]

My sister came back from the dead

When I was young, there was a serial killer in my town.

For three summer straight, he killed people. Young, old, female, male, it didn’t matter to him. You just had to be alone long enough for him to snatch you up like some kinda boogeyman. Hell, it didn’t even have to be at night. Mrs. Gibbs ran out for groceries with her husband, he stepped back inside for a minute to grab something they forgot, and came back out to their baby crying in the car and a dropped bag of groceries next to the car.

They found her three days later, her ribs all cut open and splayed out so anyone and everyone could see her guts.  

It was a nasty time, I’ll tell you that. I was only a kid. Like, maybe five when it started, eight when it all ended. I only found out the nastier details when I got curious and asked enough questions to people willing to answer. Not many people were, that was for sure.

Where I grew up was a pretty small town, so you’d think we’d find the murderer faster. But nah. Our neighbors couldn’t be killers. During the summer people did their damn best to never be alone. People who lived by themselves would move back in with their parents, friends would all group up. It’s hard never being alone though, ya know? There’s always moments when you just need to step out for a breather or you need some private time. And that’s when he got ya.  

That last summer when the killer lurked was hot as hell. You’d be able to fry eggs on the sidewalk. I got a sunburn so bad I had to stay in bed for a whole day, the box fan blowing only slightly cooler air on my dried up face. There was at least two incidents when elderly people croaked from heat stroke. And of course that killer was back. Heatwave didn’t stop him from killing my sister.

I don’t remember Jill all that well. There was about a ten year age gap between us, so we were never close. My parents had her real young and she grew up to be stubborn. And like most teenagers, she felt untouchable. Immortal. That particular summer was bad, probably because she’d broke up with her boyfriend when he went off to college and met a fellow college gal.  

So one night she blew off my parents when they told her to stay home and instead went to a party. Next morning is when they realized Jill never came home.

It took two weeks to find her. I made myself find out the details, you’ll figure out why later. She’d been fucked up real bad, he’d kept her alive as he cut her to pieces. First her fingers and toes, then her hands and feet, and up until she had no limbs. Then he cut up her face, cut out her tongue. And to wrap it all up her gutted her while she was still alive.

She suffered. But this time the killer made a mistake. Cuz someone saw him leave with Jill.

Frank Stokes. He was nearing his midthirties but spent most of his time with highschoolers or young adults. But mostly people thought he was harmless. Real quiet, real shrimp of a guy. But you know, there was a few rumors of his wild teenage years, how he stole his neighbor’s cats and dissected them. It was brushed off as youthful curiosity and charges were never pressed, probably because said neighbor died from a sudden stroke. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t a stroke, maybe Frank stuck some rat poison in her coffee. No one could answer that but Frank himself.

My town suffered far too long because of Frank though. My parents, my dad in particular, wasn’t gonna wait for the cops to fix this. So he gathered a mob and they went to go get Frank. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, death for death.

They broke into Frank’s house and found a collection of human body parts. His souvenirs, I guess. People talked about how they found all sorts of fucked up stuff, I don’t know how much is true of course, since it all ranges from sacrificial altars to a taxidermied human being. They chased Frank out and into the nearby corn fields.  

This is the part where it does get a little more fuzzy. Like it wasn’t fuzzy already. Retellings of the story vary, some people say they actually caught Frank and gave him what he deserved, beating him into the dirt as he cried and pleaded for mercy. Some other tales say they only cornered him. And another one says they actually started to hang him on the nearby oak tree before this next twist happened.

This is the one part of the story that does line up though. The part of the story where Frank said he could bring all his victims back.  

Yeah, you’re not misreading that. While bawling his eyes out, Frank promised to return their loved ones to them if they only let him live.

Such a stupid idea. I mean, he killed a little under twenty people. And when you’re dead you’re dead. There’s no coming back from dead, especially when some have been dead for years by that point. I don’t know how he convinced them that yes, by tomorrow morning all of his victims would start coming back, but he did. My dad came back and got Jill’s room ready, the bickering between him and my mom actually woke me up.

I remember peering through my sister’s bedroom door and watching my dad make up Jill’s bed. But Jill was gone, my parents told me that Jill was dead. Jill was never coming home. But my dad even turned her radio on to her favorite station.  

My mom ended up storming out, tears in her eyes. I think she was pissed dad didn’t end up killing Frank. I mean, I don’t blame her, if I’d really understood what was going on back then I would’ve been pissed too. That bastard took away my sister, and sure we weren’t close but she was still my sister.

Next morning though I was watching cartoons when I heard a knock at the door. Not really thinking as I was still waking up I stumbled to the door and opened it up.

There was Jill, wearing the same outfit she’d been buried in, standing out on the front steps. She smiled at me.

“Hey, idiot, mom and dad moved the hide a key. Thanks for letting me in.”

Numb, I just nodded and moved aside for her to walk in. She mouthed thank you as she tip toed inside. She sighed with relief as I shut the door. “God, it’s already getting hot. Mom? Dad? I’m home!”

My mom ran into the living room and promptly dropped into a faint. My dad ran in after her and fell to his knees, pale and shaking. I don’t think he really believed Frank was going to follow through with his promise. But Jill was here, back and perfectly fine. Or so it looked.

For the first days, everyone was just shocked to see the friends and family they’d buried come back to them. Even if they’d been dead for years and years, they came back looking as alive as you or me. They had no memories of actually dying, which is probably for the best considering how Frank made them suffer. But they did know they’d been dead.  

It’s sad to say that Jill and I really only bonded after she came back from the dead. I guess dying shifted things back into perspective. She went from hell child to perfect angel. She did her chores, never broke her curfew, and spent time with me. We went to the park, the ice cream parlor, hell, we even had a day at the zoo. During all this time she kept telling me how much she loved me, how she was sorry she always pushed me away or treated me like an obnoxious lil shit before. She was just frustrated and took it out on her family.

We all took the miracle at face value. Don’t be mad about it, we were just so damn glad to have our family back. No one noticed how Frank just slipped out of town one night. People only realized he was gone after he didn’t show up for work three days in a row. But now he was someone else’s problem, people reasoned. All the people he’d murdered were back, so why even bother anymore, right?

But come on, I’m sure if you’re reading this you know that bringing people back is always a fucking mistake. When you’re dead, you’re dead, and that’s that. You don’t get a do over, at least, not in the body you started out in. I dunno about reincarnation and shit like that, but I do know that all those people coming back was a big fucking mistake.

It was just little things at first. Dead animals, roadkill turning up with no blood in it. Dry as a bone, those bodies. Then a funeral home was raided the night before Ms. McCarthy’s funeral, she’d been drunk dry too. Not only that, Mr. Quinn, the funeral director had been attacked. He’d lost so much blood that they thought he was a goner. But he managed to pull through, when he did he had the strangest story to tell.

He’d just been getting things finished up for the night when it happened. A small group of people barged on in, and before he could ask what they wanted the leader grabbed him and threw him to the ground. Most of the group ran to the casket, dragging Ms. McCarthy’s body out and started cutting her open with knives. They looked disappointed at the minimal amounts of blood as she’d been embalmed but all Quinn could do was watch as they sucked away at the wounds they made.  

Then one of the leaders cut open Quinn’s wrist and screamed with triumph as they began to suck away at the wound. He tried to get away but more and more of them pinned him down and made cuts all over his body. They only left after they’d drunk their fill from him and Ms. McCarthy.

If there’d been no body there that night, I imagine Mr. Quinn wouldn’t have survived to tell the tale.  

Jill wasn’t doing well though. Although she’d been strong and healthy at first, she’d gotten pale and started wasting away. She wasn’t sleeping at night, and when she did sleep, she woke up screaming. I think she remembered what happened to her. But she wouldn’t tell us if she did.  

It all came to a head when someone heard screaming from the Gibbs residence. Course, 911 was called, and when the police got there the eldest daughter stumbled out, her shirt covered in blood and cradling her bleeding youngest sibling. She just pointed inside before she collapsed.

Inside was Mrs. Charity Gibbs, sucking on her dead husband’s neck while two of the other resurrected drank from other wounds on his body.  

They managed to escape, after killing a cop and taking his body with them. I think they found it later in the ditch, drunk dry of blood and all shriveled up.  

Lots of people died as the resurrected made their escape. All of them got out too, ran off into the woods and just disappeared. Turns out a couple of them actually had help from their living relatives and friends, bring them animals and people to drink from.  

Every one of them left. Except Jill.

Jill called me to her room. My parents were out, don’t remember why. But I went into Jill’s room, probably one of the only times I did. She never liked me in her room.

She looked terrible. White as a sheet, her face all shrunken, she’d probably lost like twenty pounds in the matter of a few weeks. She took my hand in hers and squeezed as tightly as she could. “Can you stay with me?” She asked, her voice raspy and dry.

“Why?”  

“Because I’m gonna die again. And this time, I don’t-” She coughed and spattered blood all over my face, “I don’t wanna do it alone. I know it’s selfish. It’s gonna be bad… and I could’ve… I could’ve stopped it, but I didn’t want to hurt anybody. Please stay. Please?”

I stayed. I sat at the foot of her bed and stayed. Her fingers gripped tighter and tighter until they went lax… and rolled onto the bedspread.  

Her palms followed shortly after, plopping on down in my hand. I ended up dropping it and it rolled away on the floor. It took a bit longer for her arms to come off at the shoulder, each muscle and tendon snapping like a rubber until it hung on by a few shriveled threads. She cried as her head fell to rest on my lap, her tongue falling from her lap and onto my shoe.  

She fell all to pieces in a matter of an hour.  

My parents came home to find me on the bed, rearranging my sister’s body parts to look like she was just resting. I don’t remember that, but frankly I blocked it all out after she ended up dying for the second time. I was admitted into the hospital, I didn’t speak for weeks.  

But I recovered, you know. I bet that bastard Frank would’ve loved to see the havoc he caused. No one thought about looking for him after they got their loved ones back, and after their loved ones turned on them we had our hands full. Gotta admit, a clever move on his part, to give him enough time to get out of our lives.  

Frank’s gone. And he stayed gone. I just hope he isn’t causing problems somewhere else.

[aeferkssr]

FUNKY LITTLE SELF INSERT VOICELINES IV

SYP. four out of seven regions visited, and many move adventures to be had! good luck travelers! may the gods show mercy upon your wandering soul

CHARA. aether

WARNINGS. paimon neglection :( /j rap god paimon is it obvious that i can’t think of any?

COMMENTS. now if I said how long this have been in my drafts you would laugh at me. but alas, better late than never! woo chapter 4 (well i guess its chapter 3 since mondstadt was the prolonge) of funky little self insert voicelines yay. also heads up that the text in bold is the actual voice line!!!

mond. liyue. inazuma. masterlist.

ABOUT THE EREMITES

of course with a new region calls for a wider range of enemies to go against, but the eremites seemed to stick out to you the most. you have fought other humans before such as the treasure hoarders and the inazuman kainagi, but the different classes of eremites that were constantly on all of your backs seemed fresh.

After raiding another eremite camp, paimon comes out of her pocket dimension as you and aether look to see what was in the chest they were guarding:

" the eremites are a real motley crew..." Paimon says as she looks around the camp with her hands on her hips. The camp was littered with discarded weapons, red pieces of fabric varying in qualify, and the occasional artefact.

aether shifts back his attention from the lot in the chest to paimon, "there’s certainly a diverse range of characters” he comments.

“i guess they are…” you say, while thinking about the many ranks of eremites you three have come across, your thoughts slightly wavering when you remember the eremite galehunter to which you quickly distract yourself by looking back to the contents of the chest

paimon hums as she comments “hmmm... yeah, that could explain it! paimon can play lots of different characters too.”

you and aether giving the pixie a strange look that screams “????” as she continues:

“judgy paimon, knowledgeable paimon, helpful paimon…” she says as she lists off some of her characteristics

aether mumbles under hsi breath while going back to sorting out what was in the chest, “…and of course the classic, completely-misses-the-point paimon”

as paimon continues to list off her best characteristics, you and aether silently slip away after collecting all of the chest’s loot. paimon turns around to ask what you guys think her best attributes are just to see you two not siting at the chest

“wh- where did they go?” paimon looks around for the pair of travelers just to see them a few feet away from her, walking away to find more chests.

“waah, don’t leave paimon!”

ABOUT SUMPTER BEASTS

sumeru is definetly your favourite place to explore right now! the air is so fresh, there are a wide range of both flora and fauna and even those ziplines were a ball of fun. but your favourite had to be the tons of wild animals in the jungle. of course they were dangerous, but they were unique to the sumerian jungle and were quite entertaining to watch.

paimon seemed to enjoy the sumpter beasts in particular:

“sumpter beasts are adorable! paimon likes how the people who keep them give them each a special name based on their most distinctive traits!” paimon says after just meeting a sumpter beast named after his big feet.

“hey Paimon! If you were a sumpter beast, what would your name be? "you asked palmon who hummed before she answered:

"Well.. paimon thinks they would call her compass. Cause she's the best travel guide in teyvat!" you chuckle before ruffling her hair.

“for all we know, the sumpter beasts might be giving us a name in return. maybe thats how they respond when we call their name”

Your eyebrows knitted at the thought of their name choices. Most likely they would talk like kichiboushi back in inazuma, or their dialect were far moreadvanced than ours which would explain why we can't understand them

"really? so what kind of name do you think they'd give us?"

the traveler then makes some deep gurgling sounds, which result in paimon being annoyed and you being thoroughly amused.

"How is anyone supposed to understand that!?" the pixie shouts. aether clears his throat before answering:

“Vociferous Pestiferous Melliculus Niveous Micro-Bipedal”

huh…

aether continues "that's the scientific name, of course"

"oh? what would the common name be then?'

aether smirks as he replies “noisy two-legged critter”

now paimon's fuming, "hey! why keep only the negative traits?”

ABOUT ARANARA TONGLE TWISTERS

"As the mighty travelers and their flying friend, the illustrious palmon, win yet another battle they retreat back to their base. For another adventure they shall seek out another day."

you tell your story like a bard entertaining drunk ears. The walk back to Madame Ping's table was less tiring thanks to your dramatic reenactment of your most recent adventure.

"The aranara were a lovely crew, the travelers’ hearts filled with joy after time at festival utsava. The music, food, and general atmosphere were essential to keep their spirits healthy and their hearts pure.”

"Amarama, arana, araja, even aramuhukunda will be remembered in their adventure throughout vanarara- vara- ra- va- hmm…” you stutter at the end of the sentence. aether, who was listening to your musing encouraged you to continue despite the hiccup.

" the aranara born from ararakara- arana- no…” you continue, a little slower this time “born from ararakalari… you know what? nevermind, story times over.” the other traveler laughs at your evident struggle as he tries to show off, pulling out a slip of paper from his pocket and tried his very est to read it without tripping up, but does as well as you did earlier.

paimon comes back into your teapot’s common area with all the food that her tiny hands could carry, which was apparently almost everything in the fridge.

“Paimon, do you ever find that the word "Aranara" trips you up?” aether asks as he tries to ignore paimon basically raiding his fridge.

paimon answers after swallowing the food that she basically shovelled into her mouth “hmm. why, does it trip you up? maybe that’s because you don’t really say anything most of the time.”

“Hey! I speak when I have to " he rebuts as you agree with palmon. She really does do most of the talking for your little group. Palmon giggles before continuing;

“unlike paimon! paimon has to talk all the time, so she never gets stuck on words.”

"Okay... " aether starts while handing over the slip of beige paper to the bragging pixie, who had gust finished her evening ‘snack’ “try reading this then." paimon takes the sheet and starts reading with knitted brows:

“arana the aranara exercises ararakalari in the nearby area. Narana the Nara picks Padisarahs in a parallel area futher a feild. narana the padisarah-picking nara had arranged to invite Arana the Aranara to the bar to befrend Lambad. but alas, Arana the Ararakalarí- exercising Aranara professed a preference to Padisarah - picking Nara, Narana for venturing to Vanarana to view the panorama. On account of Arana the Aranara's antipathy to bar drama, Narana the Nara relented and upon accompanying the latter on a Vanarana-panorama adventure encountered another Aranara, named Arama."

what the...?

both you and aether looked each other with your mouths wide open. she didn’t even stutter in her words, and even said the terrifying tongue twister with full fluency.

“how…” you started, not quite sure how to piece together the right words to say, “how did you do that?”

“like paimon said, if you would talk more you’d be able to read… whatever this is… with as much fluency and elegance as paimon!” paimon says as she lightly places her small fingertips on her chest, mimicking a look of superiority. this look soon faded when she stared to question what exactly she just read a few moments ago

“this must be one of those really weird dreams, right...” paimon says before raising her hand to her forehead, slightly rubbing it to soothe her pounding head “ugh, but this headache feels pretty real...”

© eenie-teenieweenie.

[nightmarecountry]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN MEME.

NAME: currently we mostly go by Wilds on here, though I (the host) am uh... between names, ha. went through some shit this year that i'm pretty sure triggered a host change/a new host split SO.

PRONOUNS: they/them collectively. it/its too if we're friends i think. it's complicated. host also uses she/her and (rarely, these days) he/him but again... complicated...

MOST ACTIVE MUSES: i mean. the corinthian, obviously, but which Flavour of him i want to write really depends on the day... over on my multimuse it varies WILDLY and often just depends on if there's a particular plot point or theme i'm rotating in my head a bunch.

RP PET PEEVES: look if i get into that here someone's gonna snipe me from the rooftops or something for having an honest feeling in public. i don't like lack of communication (or the passive aggression that comes with it), people feeling entitled to my time/attention/replies, or anyone making me feel obligated to do anything ever tbh.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: i've been RPing for like uhhh... 17-18 years at this point. jesus.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: definitely angst. i like reading smut more than writing it (mostly because writing it gets stressful real fast), and i love fluff but it's gotta have substance to it. i feel like the secret fourth answer here is "depth".

PLOTS OR MEMES: hmm... it's sort of both. i honestly like ic asks most of all: not memes, but not threads either. i like having a sort of 'foundation' to work off of and going back and forth with it, but i can only really plot extensively with someone when i've gotten to know them well. i LOVE memes but i tend to need a lot of them because if you only send one there's a solid 80% chance i won't have an answer in mind KJNSDJKNSDF

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: medium i guess! i need to get comfortable doing short as hell replies again but i always worry people will take it as a lack of interest. i don't tend to do suuuper long replies because i have trouble remembering everything i've written lmfao

IDEAL TIME TO WRITE: somehow, 3-4am. i am rarely AWAKE during those hours right now but it's still just peak writing hours for me, probably due to lack of distractions.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: baby i'm not even like myself. but in all seriousness, i feel like as a writer you're always gonna be putting bits and pieces of yourself into your characters - particularly for RP which is a much more uh, 'close contact' form of writing, i feel? i can separate myself very well from my characters when writing fic or other stories, but RP i feel requires you to step into their shoes a lot more often and more consistently... so yknow. anyway man i have DID you'd better believe there are pieces of lots of us in all of our characters. good luck guessing where they are (it isn't hard).

tagged by: @peacereflected but i also stole it from @ohsunshine because i'm in love with them both. hope this helps.

tagging: you. but also @spacereflected and @talentforlying and [spins a wheel] @pohlepen

[georgeromerosanalcavity]

Need to talk about my Rae Dunn experience as a former TJ Maxx employee for those who don’t know of it.

So if you don’t know what Rae Dunn is, you’ve probably seen it. It’s (usually) egg shell white pottery with a font I recently learned is known as The Skinny. Occasionally they have themed pottery that is a different color or has a themed topper or shape to it but is typically just a very boring set of pottery.

The only thing is, originally before mass production each piece was hand made by Rae Dunn herself before she started mass production (although people still say it is handmade by someone) so the pottery has an allure of uniqueness marketed with it. Because of this and the minimalism craze, people flock to buy these.

The only thing is that Rae Dunn herself has not done personal commissions through her Etsy in some time and has outsourced to mass production, although through certain stores, and while this has not deterred her loyal fans, this means that there are only select places to buy them: Second hand sites and TJX company stores (i.e. Marshall’s, TJMaxx, Home Goods, etc.).

Because of the sudden convenience of your local discount department store selling your favorite bleak vessel for coffee, people didn’t just flock to stores but would stalk them. I remember that, everyday, as we did our morning meet before opening the store, we saw multiple people standing outside watching and waiting, always the same people too, ready to get whatever was newest on the Rae Dunn shelf. It got so bad that, while I’m not sure if this is still practice, for a while the only way to obtain Rae Dunn was in person, because people would take all of the product online immediately. I remember a coworker having to clean the oil off of one of the doors, where a customer pressed her face against the glass and held it there for the entirety of our meeting.

There was also a special colored cart (so we wouldn’t confuse it) that was strictly for Rae Dunn glassware/pottery and we were not allowed to place Rae Dunn glassware/pottery on any other cart. This was because the Rae Dunn cart was always the first thing pushed out onto the floor, hours before opening. We had to do this because while we would push regular products on carts during opening no problem, if we had any visible Rae Dunn, people would pluck entire boxes of Rae Dunn off of it and carry it their merry way. As soon as we opened, what Rae Dunn was on the floor was the Rae Dunn we had on the floor for the day, no restocking period.

There were rules to dealing with Rae Dunn and Rae Dunn customers as well: You were not allowed go say Rae Dunn on the floor in case they heard you. Employees were allowed to buy any product BUT Rae Dunn which was strictly forbidden as several customers would apply entirely to get Rae Dunn. If a Rae Dunner approached you asking about Rae Dunn you could only point them in the right direction and walk away as fast as possible.

You might ask what the allure was besides the very flimsy excuse of “unique” pieces of pottery. The real reason they did this, beyond being hobbyists for these products, was to resell them to other hobbyists for MUCH higher prices.

Btw, as far as memory serves, most mugs and plates were typically $4.99-7.99. (It’s possible that changed but. Again. I cannot look up the TJX online prices lol)

Not to mention, there were certain products that did go together but were never put together in a set. This meant that it would be a hunt to collect the entire matching set, which was the real prize to these obsessive Rae Dunners. It’s so bad that one time while I was going down this rabbit hole, I actually stumbled onto a message board dedicated to tracking shipments of Rae Dunn.

While this could all be centralized to my store when I worked there, I thought it was fucking wild. I saw fights get broken up between Rae Dunners. I saw friendships ruined for Rae Dunn.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

This is going to be just ONE review because of the length.

___

212. Wild Tongues Can't Be Tamed by Various--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My biggest regret with this collection of essays is that I didn't read it earlier (I have an ARC that the publisher kindly sent me back in 2021...oops). I listened to the audiobook, so I had the pleasure of hearing each author read out their essays or poem and it was ✨magical✨.

Before I start reviewing each essay (because they all offered their own message and importance), I want to say that very few audiobooks have held me as captive as this one. I remember sitting very still while listening to one of my favourites and just...living in it. It was so beautiful. As a Latina, so much resonated with me!

Long review up ahead. I ran out of characters LOL.

Essay breakdowns and reviews:

1. Eres Un Pocho by Mark Oshiro

I will admit that when I started listening to this I wasn't fully invested in the book yet. I didn't know how much I would relate, or be impacted by the essays. So, some of the beginning is lost in the ether for me, BUT Oshiro was also the one that really got me into this book with their commentary on the stereotypes that the Latine community may encounter (especially in North American countries and sometimes even in the countries that are meant to be our home countries.) Oshiro had to relearn their identity as a child and even into their adult years. This reminded me a lot of families who have immigrated with children and in order to "fully incorporate" into their new home, they sometimes let their kids forget a language or the culture they come from. I related to this a bit because I was almost one of those kids, but thankfully my parents walked back this notion that in order to belong, you had to erase your "otherness". The bullying, racism, and stereotypes of what a "proper" Latine or Hispanic person should look like, sound like, or act like can wreak havoc on a child whose identity isn't as clear as society would prefer.

2. The Price of Admission by Naima Coster

I didn't connect with this one as much, however, it does deal with a very real issue in today's world with immigrants: the devastating reality of families separated by Government laws and how the stereotype of "one of the good ones" can easily be applied to Latine & Hispanic people as well--especially when it comes to who has a fighting chance at not being deported, and who just doesn't seem to offer enough for the country to not deport them.

3. Caution Song by Natasha Diaz

This one was a poem (song?) and it was a powerful depiction of stereotypes, assumptions, and expectations. One of my favourite lines from it are at the very end: "Because if you call me spicy/you should expect me to bite your tongue". Bam.

4. The Mark of a Good Man by Meg Medina

This was one of the pieces I related to the most because it was a Cuban experience essay. It dealt with the struggle of getting your family out of a birth country that makes it very, very difficult to live. It's about chasing the dream of a better life in a world unknown and taking that risk because anything has to be better than the hell you might be experiencing in your birth country.

It tackles the difficult and often-times heartbreaking familial relationships that can shape us and how they can leave us less than put together when those people leave or die. It also explores the complex gender stereotypes and norms found in Cuban communities. One of the quotes is "If only we had our men, life would be easier" and it reminded me so much of the times where I was reprimanded as a teen for doing something a man should have done for me. Finally, one of the topics that isn't explored enough in books but is brought up here is that of how many men immigrate for or with their wives or girlfriends, only to turn around and either immigrate to another country with a different partner, or find themselves a new partner in the new country (in their misguided and asshole search of the better life/dream.) I've seen this so many times and it is also a warning for any woman who falls in love with a Cuban man. I'm not saying all Cuban men are like this, but I've seen my fair share of it happening that I think it's worth mentioning in books like this one.

5. #Julian4spiderman by Julian Randall

My absolute favourite essay from the collection. It had me completely hooked and I couldn't pull myself away. The approach of using Miles Morales as a sort of template for this essay was genius. He's always been my favourite Spidey, so it was a nice surprise! It was such a powerful essay and I think it'll resonate with a lot of young Black Latine readers.

From the mention of having to correct others on how to pronounce a name (very relatable), to the fact that a teacher had Randall argue in favour of Slavery (which is fucked up), this essay had so much meaning and heart. It also had a lot of punching quotes, like "[A]merica taught us we were invisible, and the only way for the invisible to punish those who refuse to see us is to first punish ourselves", or "Afro-Latinx life is this in so many ways, to be taught that you are dangerous, and shameful and difficult to imagine." We read about the love of a father for their child, like Miles Morales's own father, and what it means to be a mixed-race Latine person whose identity is constantly questioned, despite the fact that characters like Miles never question who they are, even though if he were real, he sure as hell would be. It was a powerful essay and it left me thinking long after it was over. It was also the essay that made me want to digest the rest of the book even more.

6. Half In, Half Out: Orbiting a World Full of People of Color by Saraciea J. Fennell

I'm always intrigued when I hear stories of a Latine Indigenous person, mainly because as a Cuban, we don't have many of those stories. As my mom tells it, many if not all of Cuba's indigenous citizens were murdered during the creation of Cuba as a country. So, seeing these stories is always eye-opening and makes me wish we still had that in my country. Fennell speaks of her experience as a child taken into the foster system and put into a home with a white couple, as a result she and her sister were out in a school full of white children. Being able to see the difference between yourself and the rest of your classmates is an interesting sort of hell--you love your culture and the way that you look, but you also question it because you know it makes you different from the rest of them.

Fennell dealt with familial abandonment, finding solace in a friendship with one of the other Black girls in her classroom, and (relatable) the reality of being confused for her friends because they shared a skin colour. The amount of times I've had to tell people that I know I look like someone they know, but as Fennell writes "[N]ow that I'm older, I know that it was just white people confusing us." The final topic I'll touch on from this essay was how Fennell explores the racism that causes such a disconnection for a person from their identity. If a child looks "too white" or "too Black", they might not fit a white person's perception of what their ethnicity "should" be. I'll end with this particular quote: "The way Western culture, and, especially, American culture, shames us for being non-white is heartbreaking" and this quote is relating to the things non-white people do to make their appearance more palatable for white people (i.e. the styling of hair).

7. Haitian Sensation by Ibi Zoboi

One of the definite themes explored in this collection is that of stereotypes and how damaging they can be. Zoboi's essay is the embodiment of that and the dangers of how the proximity to whiteness can affect the way one views themselves, or others around them. I will admit, I'm not the biggest fan of Zoboi--her fictional writing doesn't resonate as much with me. BUT this isn't to say that her essay isn't powerful.

When speaking on how American culture can sometimes override a person's identity, she comments that "[It] didn't last, of course, because identity has a way of calling you back to your true self," and honestly, I found this to be incredibly important, especially for any reader who might be torn between the identity offered to them in their society and the one they have forged from family, culture, and language. There is, of course more important quotes found sprinkled in her essay, especially ones touching on the topic of being Afro-Latine (which I have seen people actively deny this identity on celebrities that are both Black and Latine--they argue this term like they're on a political grand stage, finding fun in debating someone's identity so it fits their idea of what a group(s) of people should look like) but I will end my review of her essay with this quote I loved: "I am proud to be a part of a movement that recognizes and honors the part of ourselves that colonialism tried so hard to eradicate."

8. The Land, The Ghosts, and Me by Cristina Arreola

This one had a theme worthy of the Halloween season. While Arreola explores the topic of literal ghosts and the power of lore and mysticism in Latine cultures, she also speaks on the loss of identity in a world obsessed with labelling humans in a certain way. As she states, "I wanted this ghost gone, yet I feared the void. Who was I without ghosts? They were an essential part of my being. They were the thing that made me feel whole and real and connected in some small way to the place that birthed me and made me who I am." An absolutely stunning quote and metaphoric exploration of identity and what it means to feel that ever-present threat of losing the thing that haunts those who don't fit certain societal expectations--especially when you carry a culture with you that is always under threat of being erased or forgotten.

Her final quote that I highlighted captured this notion wholly and while the essay is scary and probably the most metaphoric of all the essays in the collection, it holds a haunting power of its own: "My whole life, I've been trying on different versions of myself, haunted by the weight of the expectations of who I'm meant to be. How strange and wonderful it is, I think now, that the ghosts don't know who they are either. The ghosts are haunted, too." Simply gorgeous.

9. Paraiso Negro by Kahlil Haywood

Haywood starts his essay with an already powerful quote: "When people think about a Spanish speaker they don't necessarily rush to think about someone who looks like me." What follows is a recounting of something I myself experienced growing up--going back to my family's birth country (and my own), where I spent summers with my cousin and friends, both learning more about my culture, my family, and my first language. The misadventures, the way things change over time, and the unforgettable memories of a childhood spent somewhere other than Canada and the US was like a projector in my mind, showcasing images of a childhood never to be forgotten. As Haywood says about getting to have these experiences without realizing how we were privy to moments in history and lives forever changed, "It's something that you could easily take for granted as a kid."

Of all the stories, this one held the most nostalgia. This essay also spoke on the important topic of how diverse Latine cultures can be. I think, as the daughter of an interracial couple who had to argue that me being a mixed Latina IS an actual thing to another Latine person, that this topic is incredibly important. At one point, Haywood even mentions a situation he's been in when he's been forced to ask himself "How Latino am I? How Black am I?" This is something most Afro-Latine people may be asking themselves, especially when they live in a world that barely recognizes the term.

10. Cuban Impostor Syndrome by Zakiya N. Jamal

I found this essay interesting and such a great commentary on how Americans and Canadians handle the topic of being Latine and race. Being someone who has been back to Cuba many times since we immigrated to Canada when I was seven, I've been privy to seeing how Cubans treat diverse people. There is definitely racism--Cuba is an incredibly diverse country--but it reminds me of when I made a comment about what mixed people like me were called in Cuba to a Black American once and how offended she was. It is definitely a case of different cultures/countries=different perceptions of race.

With that being said, Jamal's experience as the Black granddaughter of a Cuban who didn't teach her children Spanish (a big part of Latine identity because not having the language might feel like you're missing a piece of yourself) is both heartbreaking and eye-opening. Her starting her essay by sharing an experience where one Cuban didn't fully internalize that she was saying she's Cuban sets the tone for the rest of her essay. She does not meet an expectation and it is devastating. Another example of the consequences of denying the identity a child seeks during their formative years is that her mom didn't even ask her if she wanted a quinceañera, which must have further thrown her off when she saw her Latine friends having their own fifteenth birthdays being celebrated.

But I think that while it is important to note that though "[f]rom a young age, my mom made sure I knew that Black was beautiful and that our culture and history were meant to be celebrated, always" it shows, yet again, the dichotomy of celebrating one aspect of a person over another, rather than letting them co-habit to form an identity. This is, along the stereotypes explored, one of the most consistent topics explored in this collection--that internal and societal power struggle between two warring identities. And this, of course, is the beautiful body of the "Cuban Impostor Syndrome" essay.

11. More than Nervios by Lilliam Rivera

Telling my Latina mother I have anxiety, or that she herself has anxious thoughts is like nails on a chalkboard. "Solamente estoy nerviosa!" Rivera's essay hits home with how much mental health is downplayed in Latine communities. As she says, "Depression is a word never uttered in my family. It simply doesn't exist." This is so incredibly dangerous, especially as the world changes and awareness grows.

Another quote, "America is built on the belief if you are a modern woman and you work hard enough, you can have it all," serves to show how much further North America pushes this narrative that if you have everything, there's no way you can be depressed. Not only is your mental health non-existent in many Latine families, the portrayal of hard work and achieving certain life "goals" is further proof that silly you, there's no way you're depressed.

This essay could be super triggering, so be ready for a very frank conversation about Rivera's mental health. But I think it's incredibly important, especially if you can relate to her and her familial experience. Her quote, "the cycle to present pain as weakness ends with me" when referencing her daughters and how open she will be with them about mental health, is something I hope comes to fruition. Rivera is presenting the breaking of a cycle that I'm hopeful future generations will adopt.

12. Alaiyo by Jasmine Mendez

Probably the most creative essay of all, Mendez's essay speaks of taking back the power in spaces that refuse to open up for Black, Indigenous, and Latine people. But throughout the essay, we see the reoccurring theme of others dictating the kind of space one can take up. One of the biggest and toughest pills to swallow is when you can read the racist levels in a comment, like in this quote: "'You don't fit the part' is just theatre teacher code for "you are not the right skin color." When I tell you that I've had a similar conversation like this back when I was in high school, and I'm sure as hell that we're not the only ones who've experienced this--whether it's as a child, or as an adult.

Her quote: "My Black friends always said I wasn't Black or at least not 'Black enough,'" is incredibly relatable to me because as someone who is mixed and always struggled with whether I felt too Black to be white, or too white to be Black, or having been raised as a Latina, rather than a mixed Black and white person, I couldn't relate to the experience of Black Canadians. This is a constant internal battle--even one I had to battle with some of my old friends back before I had a better grasp on my identity. A lot of people who don't struggle with a sense of dual identity can't truly understand how disorientating it can be to simply exist in a world that is constantly trying to pull you in one direction or another.

There's also a creepy instance where a white teacher hella acts inappropriate with her and it gave me the biggest ick.

13. Invisible by Ingrid Rojas Contreras

While I didn't highlight as much in this essay, I found it to be the most timely. Across the world, people are arguing and discussing political beliefs, human rights, and the treatment of others. Contreras is a very (rightfully so) angry woman who refuses to be kept quiet by her in-laws. This is a classic story of policing one's anger and the incredible power of ignorance.

"The United States of America was then and is now living through a time that makes whiteness visible, even to those who lived their whole lies willingly ignoring what it entails." Although this essay collection came out a couple of years ago, the disparity between how white people are treated in comparison to people of other races grows. We see it in the media, in the justice system, in history, and in politics. And the policing of those who refuse to accept the status quo is very, very real. At one point, even Contreras's husband comments that she is "fucking scary when [she's] mad. [...] [Does she] think [his] parents are going to want to talk to [her]?" Just, ugh.

I'll finish my commentary on this essay with this powerful quote: "Violence begins with language or lack of it. If you insist that something doesn't exist, it is in that darkness that calamity slips in."

14. Abuela's Greatest Gift by Janel Martinez

While Martinez's essay brings up the importance of family and tradition, it brings further attention to Blackness and how "There's no room for Blackness within Hispanidad or Latinidad." This was an important essay and exploration of identity, but I am running out of characters.

15. A Mi Orden: A Meditation of Dichos by Elizabeth Acevedo

This essay explores the expectations of purity, family, & the sexism of parenting boys vs. girls in Latine cultures (as lived by your's truly, as well). Also important, but no more characters. Welp.

I super recommend this book!

___

Have you read this collection? Would you recommend it?

___

Happy reading!

[freakingoutthesquares]

Sounds, 8 March 1986 Words: John Wilde, Photographer: Jayne Houghton Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

Meet the "new hard centre" in indie pop's choc box. John Wilde finds that Pulp have grown on him.

Pulp, neither putty nor pretty, meet Sheffield's steely stone gaze with a prickly, lawless grin or two. Defying, denying the commandment that equates Sheffield pop vultures with a stinging, heart-attack splutter... Pulp, some kind of self-made Christs, seem solitary and even freakish besides. Oddballs or oracles? Let's see.

Voice Jarvis Cocker, either the Alex Chilton or the Bamber Gascoigne of the new pop, first rallied his troops together over ten years ago, "Inspired more by The Sex Pistols than Jethro Tull" and intent on being "the Finnegan's Wake of post-punk". After more lulls than lunges, here they are. Last year's 'It' album dribbled out on Red Rhino, oblivious to the uncaring skies and hampered on its way by bitter Simon And Garfunkel comparisons. Musically too cautious and lyrically self-conscious, it mostly choked on the vitriol.

Then last month's 'Little Girl (With Blue Eyes) And Other Pieces' appeared; Pulp with a rocket up their arse and a racket in their hearts. A regenerated, most degenerated Pulp, swapping a casual canter for a scurvy disrespect. "A new hard centre," as guitar/violin Russell Senior quaintly puts it, staring into his mug of gin.

The EP's strange but endearing conceits have been swamped by the fussy over-concern towards its more, er, fleshy areas. There's a wry point buried someplace within the lust-lorn 'Little Girl (With Blue Eyes)' - 'There's a hole in your heart, and one between your legs. You've never had to wonder which one he's going to fill' - which has had their dissenters waving copies of Spare Rib and generally missing the seething satire of the line. Then there's (gulp) 'The Will To Power', a sturdy crack across the rib-cage of fascists and scumbags all: 'The only choice, the only voice in the darkness. 1933, where are you now, where are the broken bottles... where's truth and beauty?'

"We're not actually real-life fascists at all," states Russell with a sandpaper-dry smile and a swift shine of his NUM button. 'Little Girl', meanwhile, is as much a pure love song as 'Baby I Love You' or 'Baby Love'. This is what Jarvis tells me.

Whatever, this year's Pulp is a different kettle of spiders to last year's Pulp or the Pulp that have been lazing about in Jarvis Cocker's head for the last ten years. Just one year ago, I saw them in London, displaying all the hesitancy and spineless inhibition of 'It'. All that saved them was their apparent unsoundness of (collective) mind and their ragbag appearance, a look recalling the barmy escape party from One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest more than anything. Twelve months on, Art Garfunkel is left picking the pubes from his teeth the morning after and Pulp turn into a monster, sort of.

This year, they know their onions, a five-sided mess of snide rustlings and furtive fumblings. The Velvet Underground skip behind the bike-sheds for a surreptitious snog with Ted Rodgers, that sort of thing. Violin shrill, guitar grind, drums à la Maureen Tucker, vocal deadpan though often impassioned, full of hemmers and hawers. Like those Velvets, they frisk and skit from 'Sunday Morning' tranquil to 'White Light White Heat' bedlam, a disquieting imbalance but a good one.

... "'It' was our puberty, a document of teenage crushes and talking about ideas when you don't know much about them, loving the idea of love rather than 'it' itself. The LP is almost embarrassing to listen to now for us, but it was accurate for that time. We didn't feel comfortable with all that smoothness. Now, the overall feel is not wafting away on clouds of marshmallows. It's more an underlying feeling of striving or longing for something that isn't quite there. It's more painful now - grabbing, clutching and missing."

Currently confined to a wheelchair following a three-storey fall out of a window ("I thought it was a door" / "I was exorcising a demon" / "Did it for a bet" depending who he's telling), Jarvis is unrelenting. Onstage, while the other four ends of Pulp run amok, nutty as a fruit cake, with this grumbling spire of noise, Jarvis sits there a long way from Val Doonican and 'The Green, Green Grass Of Home'. Limbs twitch, eyeballs bulge and bounce, body snaps in short convulsions. Most interestingly, as the songs persist to their fickle climaxes, Jarvis clutches the chair arm, his hands sliding in time to the clumsy beat, his body wincing and starting, the chair a sex object. Thrilling. But they're not just as sexy as your sister.

Neither wilfully opaque nor bleeding bloody awkward, Pulp are many shades, fitting into the Sheffield brute-funk mosaic not at all. "We are ten times more Sheffield than any of those bands. Just because it's from Sheffield, why does it have to sound like a steel factory? You go to Grimsby, you don't expect fish-slapping, or the noise of trawlers. We stem from our industrial culture more than Chakk or anything like that. We're just not what the current image of Sheffield is supposed to be."

And so what? Pulp are not perfect, but they make most indie pop seem like it has its head packed with cotton. Pulp have only marginally more charisma than Leslie Crowther but have the gall and nerve of a madman. Pulp will barely rise from cultdom, they're too full of nonchalant anarchy for that, but in the small pond... they will be nasty and endure. They'll annoy the living, shitting hell out of you, and you'll rub up to the person next to you because of it. They're haywire and, like The Raincoats or The Mekons, they're better for it. Their songs build and build and, unlike bubbles, they explode and still last.

Jarvis?

"It's like someone once said... as soon as you realise that except for love and art it's all a bucket of shit... well, that's true about us."

Pulp. Nowhere near the bucket.

[saint-starflicker]

Prompts from this post.

1. What is the most valuable piece of advice you've been given about writing?

The most valuable piece of advice was also the most detrimental. It was a list of writing tips in a high school English class that would improve our style, and it did get me thinking more keenly about the gears and axles that make up a language. Too bad it got to me at a time in my life that I didn't have much creative flow, and that I would cling to those tips and suggestions as though it would save me from real life. I still recognize when passive voice is not the best choice, and how that is a choice now that it's been (heh) pointed out to me what passive voice even is—but flow and content becoming more important than style is what got me actually writing again. Your body of work is only as good as the collection of stuff in it that actually exists. I still value the style tips more because the prerequisite about creative flow and content is a very internal issue, whereas style was one that I actually got external guidance with.

2. Is your main villain sympathetic? Why or why not?

I have read the wildest woobification essays on this site, combined with the most inexplicable vitriol aimed at the most non-entity characters...so I don't know anymore what makes a designated villain sympathetic or unsympathetic.

During the writing process, I think it depends on the stakes. The closer to high fantasy the vibe is, the less sympathetic I can make the villain because I'm drawing on the image of the Panopticon dictator who lives beside Mt. Doom (insert the "Are we the Baddies?" skit meme here). I do believe that we can meet real evil in a more domestic genre, but see paragraph above about how there's no consensus about what that "evil" even is.

If I write annoying people with ulterior motives who leverage their power over somebody else's life, then in the process I can think that's very annoying, but somebody else might either think it's funny or alternatively think it's triggering/enabling of the worst thing in the world and in their life. Meanwhile, if I write somebody so horrible that they can hardly be there except for the rumored impact of their abuse on a character that I am more considerate of, then I can still expect some readers to take the sympathetic characters' flaws and use that to frame that character as the worst person that never existed—while the other character, that I think of as so evil that I launched them into plot orbit, in whatever little discourse I'm lucky enough to get around something I wrote can still become woobified in that discourse and get all this backstory and reframing imagined for them. And that wild misinterpretation is going to be all my fault somehow. 😆 That's just the way I've noticed things usually go if a story gets noticed at all, so I can't be too cross.

3. Which of your characters do you think has the most similar traits to you? Why?

They're all going to be filtered through my tint of glasses, at the same time that none of them are going to be me. There's what I think of as an "authorial scope" of vocabulary and observations, within which I can try to keep more variety or consistency as appropriate...but there's other areas that I'm definitely going to flounder at, or that I can recognize as an interesting idea but I know that I don't have it in me to even go there.

Unless I'm writing a memoir, the fictional character that's most like me will still have as much emotional distance from me as a character in the background or in the chorus. I think the characters that I actually get overly protective about are unlike me and that's why I'm biased towards there being more of them in the world because I don't have what that character has.