#we have now reached the point where we'd have to make a whole new show just to fit fanon into...

[nofomogirl]

Good Omen's problem with having two canons

They're fundamentally different. That's the problem. That's my point.

For quite a while I focused almost exclusively on the new season of Good Omens, but now I am slowly delving into analysis that takes the entire show into account, and I've encountered a little obstacle. Namely, things from S1 can be really tricky to interpret.

Fair warning: this post is going to zig-zag between various points but I want you to trust me and take this scenic route with me. It will take us somewhere eventually, I promise.

The Arrangement

It's one of the core elements in the Good Omens universe and at the same time a perfect example of the issue I want to discuss. So let's have a closer look together.

In the book, the Arrangement is presented to us in two passages:

the first one, where it is first - very briefly - mentioned:

Aziraphale had tried to explain [free will] to him once. The whole point, he'd said - this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement - the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be.

and the second one, where it is properly introduced and explained:

The Arrangement was very simple, so simple in fact, that it didn't really deserve the capital letter, which it had got for simply being in existence for so long. It was the sort of sensible arrangement that many isolated agents, working in awkward conditions a long way from their superiors, reach with their opposite number when they realize they have more in common with their immediate opponents than their remote allies. It meant a tacit non-interference in certain of each other's activities. It made certain that while neither really won, also neither really lost, and both were able to demonstrate to their masters the great strides they were making against a cunning and well-informed adversary. (...) And then, of course, it had seemed even natural that they should, as it were, hold the fort for one another whenever common sense dictated. Both were of angel stock, after all. If one was going to Hull for a quick temptation, it made sense to nip across the city and carry out a standard brief moment of divine ecstasy. It'd get done anyway, and being sensible about it gave everyone more free time and cut down on expenses.

In the show, the Arrangement is presented to us in two original scenes in the cold opening of S1E3:

(I am quoting most relevant dialogues only)

537 AD, Wessex:

C: So we're both working very hard in damp places and just canceling each other out? A: Well, you could put it like that. It is a bit damp. C: Be easier if we both stayed home. If we just send messages back to our head offices saying we'd done everything they'd asked for, wouldn't it? A: But that would be lying. C: Eh, possibly, but the end result would be the same. Cancel each other out. A: But my dear fellow... well, they'd check. Michael's a bit of a stickler. You don't want to get Gabriel upset with you. C: Oh, our lot have better things to do than verifying compliance reports from Earth. As long as they get paperwork they seem happy enough. As long as you're being seen doing something every now and again. A: No! Absolutely not! I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing. We're not having that conversation, not another word!

1601 AD, The Globe Theatre:

A: I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week. A couple of blessings to do. A minor miracle to perform. (...) C: I'm meant to be heading to Edinburgh too this week. Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle. A: Doesn't sound like hard work. C: That's why I thought we should... Well, bit of a waste of effort, both of us going all the way to Scotland. A: You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer that you are implying. C: Which is? A: That just one of us goes to Edingburgh, does both. The blessing and the tempting. C: We've done it before. Dozens of times now. The Arrangement- A: Don't say that! C: Our respective offices don't actually care how things get done. They just want to know they can cross it off the list.

S2 doesn't actually reference the Arrangement. But it does reuse the dialogue about free will where the 1020 date is dropped. We will get back to it.

The challenge of adapting Good Omens

Good Omens shares a certain characteristic with all of Terry Pratchett's solo books I've read - it couldn't care less about "showing instead of telling". Which I love, just to be clear. A book is a written medium. It's made with words and one of words' major strengths is that you can use them to just tell things point blanc.

Good Omens does it a lot and it's fantastic.

Look at that second passage from the book I quoted earlier.

From just those few sentences we learn a lot about the relationships between:

Heaven and Hell (opponents and competition)

Aziraphale and Crowley (two individuals in the same position and in direct contact with each other)

Aziraphale/Crowley and Heaven/Hell (field agent and a remote HQ that are not in direct contact)

Aziraphale/Crowley and Earth (two individuals and a space they live in)

Heaven/Hell and Earth (a board where the game is played, only winning or losing matters, what actually happens on a board does not)

It's really an extra condensed worldbuilding gem sprinkled with humor, so it's no surprise it's become one of the most iconic passages from the book.

I mean, just browse through some interviews with David and Michael - especially the ones from 2019 - where they explain what Aziraphale and Crowley are about. You'll be hard-pressed to find any where they don't reference that specific paragraph, consciously or otherwise.

But it's only this neat on the pages of the book, where narration like this takes mere seconds to absorb. It's impossible to convey the same information in a visual medium with anywhere near the same efficiency.

The fact that the majority of Good Omens is like this was, in my opinion, a main challenge the adaptation faced. The book is very narration-heavy. It's full of fun facts about characters, side jokes, hilarious comments, etc. Some of that precious material was salvaged by introducing God as a narrator, but there was only so much of it you could squeeze into a TV show. The rest had to either be fit into dialogues or lost in translation from the written medium to the visual one.

Obviously, in the case of the Arrangement, it was the dialogues.

Book canon and show canon

We all know they're not the same. Neil Gaiman also pointed it out several times. But I think our mistake is that we still tend to think about them as complementary.

Look at the Arrangement again. The show canon seems to merely expand on the book canon. Add extra details and fill in the blanks. The Arrangement works the exact same way, except now we also know more about how it started.

If we compile what we know from the book with what we know from the show, we get a more detailed timeline:

Crowley first proposes the Arrangement in 537 (show).

The Arrangement starts in 1020 (book), ie. Aziraphale finally agrees to it (show - deduction); we don't know for sure if it's a "basic version" (not getting in each other's way), or a "full version" (doing each other's jobs) but we can assume it's the former.

In 1601 "full version" of the Arrangement is in place for some time (they've done it dozens of times) but Aziraphale still objects and needs convincing.

But read that description from a book once more.

Does it really fit into the version of events shown in the TV series?

The Arrangement in the book is something that just happened. A natural, and in a way inevitable result of Aziraphale and Crowley's circumstances. We are never told who came up with it first because it doesn't matter. Because it could have been either of them. Because after five millennia on Earth, they were both ready to do it. They were both of the same mind. For all we know it might have been an unspoken agreement all along!

But for the show, the creators had to come up with a good reason for the Arrangement to be discussed out loud. And what could be a more natural situation for someone to describe and explain an idea than trying to sell that idea to someone else?

For that practical reason - among many others, no doubt - the Arrangement is not only explicitly Crowley's idea, but an idea Aziraphale vehemently rejects at first. He needs to be convinced and even when he finally relents he's never entirely comfortable with it. He keeps objecting and it requires Crowley's constant effort for them to keep cooperating in any way.

The fact that Aziraphale is reluctant gives Crowley a perfect reason to keep convincing him ie. talk about the Arrangement. But the fact that he needs to explain and keep convincing Aziraphale means that Aziraphale is no longer a person who understands the same things and feels the same way.

That is a huge change.

Of course, you may say that what I've written about the Arrangement in the book is just my interpretation. It's true that technically there's nothing there that would contradict the events from the show in any way. The thing is, the events in the show aren't very compatible with the overall characterization of the ineffable duo in the book.

Evolution of Aziraphale and Crowley

You might have read that our leading pair was originally conceived as a single character that Neil and Terry eventually decided to split into two separate individuals.

My reaction when I first learned about it was: "Of course they were! That makes so much sense!" Because honestly, as a person who watched the show first and then read the book, I was surprised at how few differences there were between the two in the original text. If you squint your eyes really tight, you can see how book!Aziraphale and book!Crowley are two versions of the same character. They're far more similar than their show versions.

Most importantly, their attitudes toward Heaven and Hell are pretty much identical. Perfectly mirrored in every regard. What Hell is for Crowley, Heaven is for Aziraphale. What Hell is for Aziraphale, Heaven is for Crowley. In. Every. Possible. Way.

Allow me to present some evidence from the book.

Exhibit #1: the end of the scene where Crowley convinces Aziraphale to interfere with Warlock's upbringing

'You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?' he said slowly. 'Potentially evil. Potentially good too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped,' said Crowley. He shrugged. 'Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.' 'I suppose it's got to be worth a try,' said the angel. Crowley nodded encouragingly. 'Agreed?' said the demon, holding out his hand. The angel shook it, cautiously. 'It'll certainly be more interesting than saints,' he said. 'And it'll be for the child's own good, in the long run,' said Crowley. (...)

When Crowley first points out that good and evil are just names for sides, and then insists it's something they both know, Aziraphale doesn't react in any way. That's because these aren't things that book!Aziraphale disagrees with. He does indeed know it and doesn't deny it.

Also, please note just how cynical the angel is here with his comment that influencing the Antichrist would be a more interesting project than influencing saints!

Both would be rather OOC for show!Aziraphale.

Exhibit #2: the scene just after Warlock Dowling's birthday party, when it becomes evident he is not the Antichrist

'You said it was him!' moaned Aziraphale (...) 'It was him,' said Crowley. (...) 'Then someone else must be interfering.' 'There isn't anyone else! There's just us, right? Good and Evil. One side or the other.' He thumped the steering wheel. 'You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there,' he said. 'I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to you up there,' said Aziraphale. 'Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,' said Crowley sourly. 'Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?' 'Sure' said the demon. 'There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-' 'I meant afterwards.' 'Oh.'

Can you imagine this kind of exchange in the TV series? Can you imagine show!Aziraphale being this realistic about Heaven, and show!Crowley so naive about it? There's no way.

Show!Aziraphale genuinely believes that Heaven is good at its core.

Book!Aziraphale knows Heaven isn't any different than Hell and would punish him just as ruthlessly and unfairly as Hell would Crowley.

Show!Crowley understands both Heaven and Hell on a very deep level and is highly aware of their true nature.

Book!Crowley buys a piece of celestial propaganda about ineffable mercy and actually expects Heaven to be forgiving.

Let the magnitude of that difference sink.

Exhibit #3: same scene, a bit further

'So all we've got to do is find it,' said Crowley. 'Go through the hospital records.' The Bentley's engine coughed into life and the car leapt forward, forcing Aziraphale back into the seat. 'And then what?' he said. 'And then we find the child.' 'And then what?' The angel shut his eyes as the car crabbed around the corner. 'Don't know.' 'Good grief.' 'I suppose (...) your people wouldn't consider (...) giving me asylum?' 'I was going to ask you the same thing. (...)'

This is just a cherry on top, really.

Yes, in the book, when things go pear-shaped, both Aziraphale and Crowley consider seeking asylum on the opposite side.

Do you need more proof that book canon and show canon really aren't as compatible as they may seem?

Free will

As promised, let's get back to that dialogue because while it may not be obvious at first glance it really illustrates perfectly the problem arising from balancing between two canons.

Here is the full quote from the book:

Aziraphale had tried to explain [free will] to him once. The whole point, he'd said - this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement - the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about it for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, OK? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That's lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

And here, for comparison, is how it was reused in S2E3:

A: There is a stolen body in that barrel! This is wicked! C: Oh, I'm down with wicked! Anyway, is it wicked? She needed the money. A: That is irrelevant. Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice. You know, they cannot be truly holy unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked. She is wicked. C: Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. You can't start someone off like that and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle. A: Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. So Elspeth here has all the opportunities because she's so poor. C: That's lunacy. A: No, that's ineffable.

I'll be honest with you - I didn't like that scene in the show. It felt jarring and off. Aziraphale was acting like it was his first day on Earth and it was frustrating to watch.

Then, on one of the rewatches, just as I was rolling my eyes at "that's ineffable", a bulb lit in my brain. That line didn't work there because it wasn't created to be there! In the book and in S1 "it's ineffable" was kind of Aziraphale's catchphrase but in S2 it only appears this once. More importantly, in the book and S1, the fact that the angel would say that was all a build-up to the scene when he threw it in Heaven's face at the Tadfield Airbase. Using that word in S2 was like trying to make a running joke that has already reached its destination run again.

And just like that one line the entire dialogue didn't fit because it wasn't meant to be there. It was created for an entirely different context.

What's the difference?

Firstly, book!husbands' conviction was very shallow and it wasn't uncommon for both of them to spout slogans without meaning them. Therefore, book!Aziraphale's words didn't carry that much weight. The very fact that the conversation took place at the same time they formed the Arrangement tells us something about how serious he was. But show!Aziraphale's relationship with his beliefs is different, so when he says things like that it's a much bigger deal.

Secondly, the book explicitly states that Aziraphale and Crowley only developed free will on Earth, due to extended exposure to mankind. The show never really makes a stand on the matter but based on what we've seen so far I think we can safely assume that angels and demons are capable of making their own choices as much as humans do.

In other words, in its original context, the conversation was just Aziraphale talking about a concept he didn't fully grasp, quoting propaganda he didn't fully subscribe to. He was being ignorant and mildly obnoxious in an endearing way.

But using the same dialogue verbatim in the Resurrectionist carried a completely different meaning. Aziraphale who utters it in the show has no reason to be so ignorant about free will. Aziraphale who utters it in the show genuinely tries to defend Heaven. Most importantly, Aziraphale who utters it in the show, doesn't just idly bicker with his friend about general things but is judging an actual human individual that's right in front of them. That, more than anything else, makes it sound heartless and ignorant.

What is the problem with having two canons, exactly?

It's time to wrap things up.

In the opening paragraphs, I've mentioned that I've noticed the issue while interpreting scenes from S1, and yes, that was the case and I do believe that the existence of two canons is especially problematic for S1. That's because pretty much every scene in S1 is potentially like that dialogue about free will in S2, except subtler and harder to spot.

A grand majority of what we see and hear in S1 comes directly from the book. But while words and actions were kept, in some instances things that gave them their original meaning might no longer be valid in the show universe. Sometimes they easily take new meaning, and we don't even notice. But sometimes there's this dissonance that's not as easy to work around.

S1 deviated from the book and created its own canon. But the difference didn't seem to go very deep and it seemed perfectly reasonable to use some trivia from the book to shed some extra light on the content of the show. I used to do it in my head, even though I was aware of the changes that were made.

But S2 expanded the show canon so far beyond what was in the book that I'm really not sure it makes sense to compile them anymore.

There are a lot of things that were only explicitly stated in the book that I keep clinging to. But perhaps it's time to let go...

Thank you for your patience.

I know all of the above isn't exactly a revolutionary discovery, but I needed to get it off my chest before writing anything else.

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 17-20 (Finale)

Last week gave me everything I wanted and more. The whole squad went over to Yako's place for a curry party and everyone had a great time. Later, Nagumo got a diagnosis for her condition and got to have personal time with Yako. Kasuga and Nomoto continued to work on their communication and making sure they aren't trampling over each other. They're continuing to work on this move. Seriously, we had a curry party and a s'mores party last week. We planted strawberries together. Let's finish this.

Episode 17

Looking for housing is so stressful. I was wondering if we'd get into housing discrimination in this.

Red beans in Japan are different from what we eat here. Theirs carry a naturally sweet profile that doesn't mesh well with creole cooking.

I feel like those beans needed to boil longer, but that's me thinking in my home cooking terms.

Yes, ladies, tell each other how happy you are to see each other.

@furritsubs thank you for the note about Azuki beans.

I'm really enjoying the way they're handling this situation. The realtor wasn't trying to be homophobic, but the systems he was upholding with the landlord references reinforces the status of same sex households. I also like that they acknowledged how circumstances closet people in ways that hurt them. This is good payoff from the news bit we saw earlier in season with Kasuga.

Getting a tasty treat in before going back into the fray is so valid.

Kasuga being even more affectionate about Nomoto's food now that they're dating is exactly what I wanted.

Episode 18

Oh fuck yeah, let's continue to unpack how structural homophobia makes people scared to share something that should be a joyous occasion.

Amused that Yako is the primary person using Nomoto's given name.

Are we going to have a takoyaki party next??

COME THROUGH, YAKO!!! You gotta help your folks get through this bullshit, but never let them forget that it's bullshit!!

I am relieved that we checked in with Ms. Fujita about divorcing her husband at the same time as we're working through LGBT housing issues. Single divorced women likely also face huge challenges in housing when marriage is the goal we're being pushed into.

Wow, Sayama, you are in contention for the Yihwa Best Girl Award this year. You are an ally. Love the way she examined how what she said might have been hurtful.

Feeling like you somehow failed because you didn't get married in your 20s is so real. I sometimes struggle with this in my 30s.

This show uses its characters to illustrate its political points in a way that feels gentle and accessible, but also carries a sense of urgency. Women are facing extreme reproductive pressure right now, and it's clearly not making those who don't already want husbands and children happier. Hell, it's making them resentful to the point of divorce as they get older.

Hold on. Gotta cry a bit about Nomoto telling Kasuga that being told outright that hiding who they are upset her made her feel better got me.

Episode 19

Takoyaki Party let's goooooo!!!

A party where you cook together like this is always so much fun. We had fun with some friends' kids a few weeks ago teaching them how to make pancakes and letting them add their own toppings before, during, and after cooking.

Nagumo managed to enjoy a bite of food with them. Hold on. Crying again.

We've seen takoyaki a few times lately, and I am very impressed with this cooker.

Yako, tactful as always, is gonna check on Nagumo. I love her.

This is so important. Couple formation does affect the friends around them, and I'm really glad Yako let Nagumo voice that she supports her friends even as she knows she's going to miss the dynamic they've had. Yako is so right to point out that a change doesn't mean it's over, and their friendship will last if we all continue to reach out.

This realtor scene is so good. I like how politely she asked for them to disclose their relationship with the express purpose of securing ideal housing, and we're getting into how the financing of housing can affect people's privacy. She's also owning that landlords can discriminate against couples. I also appreciate that their meeting room was private.

I'm ready for the moving in party!

Episode 20

They got the house!!

A crab cream croquette party!!!

Wait, where's Nagumo? I wanted her to try a croquette too!

We are on the bed together. This is not a drill.

Yes, let's acknowledge that they have liked each other since season 1.

The intimacy question is on the floor!

They are finally hugging!

NOW KISS!!!

That was very sweet, and felt right for them. I'm glad they had that moment in the old place before they moved.

Cried because of Ms. Fujita and Nagumo possibly getting hired.

So glad Yako and Nagumo are still hanging out! That's really how some friends groups will be. Two people will just gel at a party and grow close.

Oh hell yeah we're at casual intimacy now.

I'm so excited to see where the TV goes next season!!

Oh my goodness Kasuga is wearing a lighter sweater!!!!!!

Final Verdict: 10, Go Watch This Immediately and Then Show it to a Friend. Seriously, do not make excuses for yourself. You owe it to yourself to watch this show. Between this, Ossan's Love Returns, and What Did You Eat Yesterday? coming back, we cannot stop supporting our shows about older people getting together and forming their own forms of family. This show built on the foundation of its first season and made every little detail feel so potent and impactful. I did not expect the pen pal to grow into a trusted confidant and core member of this friend group, nor was I expecting the women at the supermarket to help Kasuga as much as they did. This season was excellent, and will be joining WDYEY on my comfort watch rotation.

Big thanks to @furritsubs and friends for making this watch possible.

[xbomboi]

thoughts about Epic Winter, & reconciling its place in Ever After High’s story as a whole

i wanna talk about epic winter because it—arguably more than any other aspect of the franchise—is definitely ever after high’s ‘ugly duckling’ piece of media, so to speak.

now obviously, a lot of it has to do with being the final big installment in eah’s main story, its premise being a side quest that sidelines the main protagonists in favor of new characters who are comparably far less compelling as the show’s actual leads, leaving the audience without any actual closure to the story which they were following.

in isolation, epic winter isn’t that terrible (though i think most would agree its better parts are the ones centered around already-established characters as opposed to the new ones), but in context it leaves a sour taste.

i entirely understand why anyone rewriting the series would either heavily rework it, only keep more important story beats such as daring’s arc & faybelle’s side plot, or completely remove the outing altogether.

in my case, however, deleting epic winter isn’t an option; my intentions are to continue where ever after high left off, and organically finish what they started. that means epic winter stays in tact, sanity be damned.

with that writing handicap, i can’t edit any pre-existing media in the ever after high animated lineup, which has forced me to brainstorm ways to recontextualize the purpose for epic winter’s place in the story and make the time spent on its story retroactively feel, at the very least, a little more worth it.

and the solution i found comes from viewing all that is introduced in the special through chehkov's gun.

(if you're unfamiliar, chehkov's gun is a narrative rule that everything introduced in a story must be done so with a purpose to serve. i.e. if you give a character a gun, they must shoot it.)

what's done is done; if we have to go on this detour following crystal winter and the top of the world, so be it. but let's pocket it like a tool that can be used later.

so here's my idea: bring crystal and the winter kingdom back into the story later down the line when the events of the story have reached a far more grandiose scale.

basically, i think the best way to use crystal would be when the story reaches a point of confronting and opposing the ruling powers in the fairytale world. having become the new snow queen, naturally, she'd be included in a gathering of the rulers of the kingdoms in the fairytale world.

i want there to be a moment in the story where the ruling powers gather together, and we see familiar faces return (including ones that we'd be introduced to after epic winter but prior to this), such as snow white, king charming, the queen of hearts, and of course, crystal.

with her outlook that would most reasonably be more aligned with the students at ever after high, she could end up being one of-if not the sole person-those present to voice opposition to whatever unfavorable verdict the rest of the rulers have made, as it would serve as direct conflict for the protagonists. she'd find herself outnumbered and ultimately her voice holding little to no power to sway the decision (especially being disregarded for her rather young age). afterwards we'd see her reflect on her frustrations with her colleagues and their rule of the system, thinking about it in terms of what kind of ruler she wants to be, before seeing her find determination towards something, though we aren’t yet shown what she actually decides to do.

the next time we'd see her would then come a little later, the conflict reaching the most dire circumstances. all hope is lost for our heroes; raven, apple, and co. would be down on their luck against odds they're unable to overcome. and that's when crystal would show up to offer her support, providing the numbers of her kingdom as allies to help better the odds. (she wouldn't be the only ally to show up, as this would be a 'getting help from all the friends we made along the way' ordeal. she would simply be one of said friends.)

crystal's help would ultimately play a part in winning the conflict. and because the audience would be familiar with crystal and the winter kingdom to a decent extent way prior to that point, the inclusion of it in the present fight at hand wouldn't feel like an ass-pull or a deus ex machina of sorts; it would make sense and feel earned for the most part.

and i think that's honestly the best thing to be made of epic winter's main adventure. we can't change it or fix it as it is, but we can create a payoff for it all later down the line. think of it like begrudgingly doing chores that lack any enjoyment factor, only to find that afterwards, you're glad you did.

so, yeah, that's my idea for how to give epic winter a genuine purpose. but i'm just spitballing.

[darthstitch]

the end of the fairy tale

Let's talk about Nada.

So, for those who haven't read the comics, I'm going to say it now, even if the comics were already released 30-odd years ago, okay? SPOILERS. MAJOR SPOILERS. VERY LIKELY THE PLOT OF SANDMAN SEASON 2.

There.

The second thing I am going to say is this: THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE/EXONERATE DREAM OF THE ENDLESS FROM ANY OF HIS SHITTY ACTIONS. BECAUSE THEY WERE REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE. HEINOUS. CRUEL. HE WAS A FUCKING IDIOT.

Look, I love the fucking idiot, okay? But yeah, the day I read that particular part in the comics was the day I absolutely wished I could reach into that world and shake him into sense. Like, DREAM, YOU MORON, YOU COME BACK HERE AND FIX THIS RIGHT THIS INSTANT GODDAMNIT. YOU FUCKING KNOW BETTER THAN THIS.

Thankfully, Death took care of that for me, in true Pinay Ate fashion.

Buckle up kids, here we go.

In the comics, Queen Nada was the first love interest that we see for Dream of the Endless. At least, the first that we knew of, since Endless Nights wasn't going to be written and published until years later.

It plays out like a classic myth, that tribal people tell each other, as part of a rite of passage for their youth. Queen Nada is the beautiful queen of a great and ancient city somewhere in Africa. She falls in love with a handsome and mysterious man. Despite multiple warnings and obstacles in her way, she goes on a quest to find Mr. Mystery and she eventually does find him.

It's worth noting that Dream here is again shown to be different from the usual pale, white, ghostly dude that we know. We're reminded that the Dream we see as a "default" is based on our perceptions. He appears as an eldritch godlike being, all flame and majesty to the Martian Manhunter.

To Nada, he is a beautiful young man of her own race but alas, when she finds him, she realizes that he's not a mortal. She recognizes him for what he is and is terrified, because to love an Endless is to court disaster. It's forbidden.

I won't recount the whole tale, but suffice it to say, that Dream eagerly pursues her once he's figured out that she's madly in love with him. She tries to run away but eventually she gives into Dream and they have this one incredible night of passion. But because she apparently broke this taboo, her kingdom is completely destroyed.

Dream tries to offer her the Queenship of the Dreaming, but obviously, that's not going to fly with Nada, who's absolutely broken that all of her innocent people had to pay the price for her foolish passions and love. She chooses to kill herself and while Dream still tries to persuade her to spend her afterlife with him, she refuses.

And that's why he sends her to hell. It takes about 10,000 years, but after Desire needles him (as usual) and Death points out (in a gentler fashion) that he'd behaved abominably, Dream decides to do the right thing and get her out of hell. It helps that he's just experienced imprisonment as well (we'd later learn that this has happened twice) and after some shenanigans, he does set her free.

Dream awkwardly attempts to apologize and he ends up getting rightfully smacked in the face, because, Dream, you moron, that's not how you say sorry. OMG.

DASURV.

This is one of the reasons why Tom Sturridge's Morpheus took me a little off guard. His apology to Lucienne and his closure with Calliope are leagues away from this, where he shows a lot more empathy, sensitivity and maturity. I'm looking forward to seeing how the show is going to handle that moment, since they've been doing such a great job of adapting and making changes to the source material while still staying true to the spirit of the entire saga.

But I digress. Dream does really make it right with Nada and she gets to reincarnate and live her new life, finally free of all the bullshit.

For a long time, I had wondered how Dream of the Endless could've been so cruel and petulant and capricious. I did understand that The Sandman wasn't a classic "hero" tale where the lead character would make the "right" choice every time. Dream does change and grow and develop for the better over the course of the series, which is why it's so heartbreaking to lose him in the end, just when it seems he's finally getting his shit together.

And then I read Endless Nights and I finally understood.

Poor Nada was basically Dream's rebound love from the disaster that was Killala of the Glow.

Killala was a trainwreck in the making. From the comics, it seemed like Dream had been the one who did the courting, dazzling and wooing her. She's into it, but she doesn't seem to understand Dream's real nature and it's fairly clear that she's attracted to Dream and very much charmed, but it's Dream who's fallen hard and fast for her.

It's also worth noting that the restriction against loving mortals was not yet in place. It's Killala who causes that restriction to happen. Given that she falls in love with the star of her own solar system, it's significant that the one who doles out punishment for Nada falling in love with Dream and consummating that love is our sun.

I honestly think that Killala and Dream would've still broken up, even without Desire's meddling, but it might have happened gradually, over time and Dream might have learned a far more different, gentler lesson in loving mortals. Instead, he gets faced with Killala openly betraying him and running off with Sto-Oa. Desire laughs in Dream's face about it and admits that they thought it was a fun joke.

And Dream does absolutely nothing, except to storm away.

Killala isn't punished, isn't condemned to hell, doesn't suffer some unspeakable fate. We're told that she was happy with her love, even though she does die, eventually, since she's mortal.

So it's no wonder that Dream had overreacted so badly with Nada. It was Nada who had initially pursued him. It was Nada who had gone through all these trials and tribulations to prove her love for him. She was the one who essentially did the courting and the wooing. To Dream, who was still feeling bruised and battered after getting rejected by Killala, it had to be a heady feeling, to be loved and wanted like that.

Was it any wonder that he absolutely would not let Nada go after this? That he would try to hold on to her, try to keep her by his side, damn the consequences?

It's also significant that the Dream Nada sees, essentially looks like a teenager of her own age - a clear sign that Dream himself isn't emotionally mature enough or had developed that conscientious streak that made him so endearing much later in his life. He was young (in Endless terms), he was hurting over his last love and his sibling's cruelty, and he just wanted, very much, to be loved and have his fairy tale happily ever after.

Again, this doesn't excuse his cruelty. But at least we can better understand where he's coming from and appreciate how much character growth he'd gone through, because he does, in the end, set things right with Nada the best way he possibly could. And while it's not a fairy tale ending, it's a satisfying one.

[fallingsolonely]

Affliction • Part 1

Warning

This one-shot contains sexual content as well as mentions of death.

This story is about young lovers reconnecting years later, only to be faced with a heartbreaking truth.

[This one-shot is LONG! The whole thing has a word count of 19k so I will be posting it in parts]

I hope you enjoy! This is my first time posting a story on Tumblr.

Word count - Part 1 - 6.1k

~~~~

[Charlotte's POV]

"You played so beautifully tonight, Charlotte" He whispers, kissing my hand.

The entire night he's been making me melt into a puddle. He's been so sweet and paitent.

I haven't felt like this in a long time, happy.

Genuinely happy.

It scares me so much.

The alcohol in my system fucks with my emotions and I try not to show it.

I hate how much of an empath he is because hiding anything from him is near impossible. Hes always been like that.

"Thank you" I say quietly, watching as he plays with my fingers.

I can hear my mother's voice ringing in my head, almost begging me. Pleading with me to tell him.

"My darling, I know, I know you don't want to hurt anyone" She's holding my face in her hands, making me look at her.

I'm bawling. I can't help it. I don't want this, I don't want him here. I can't do this.

I can't hurt him. Not Harry. Not one of the sweetest souls I have ever known.

"But this, hiding the truth from everyone is hurting you. Charlotte, you're my daughter. I love you more than you will ever understand. You deserve happiness and I very much believe that Harry being here tonight is not a coincidence" She hugs me tightly, letting me cry my eyes out into her chest.

"I don't want you having any regrets" She whispers, rubbing my back.

"I don't know how" I pull back and look at her. She places her hand on my cheek.

"You will, darling" She reassures.

"Charlotte?" I feel his thumb on my cheek, taking me out of my head.

"Sorry" I look away from him, suddenly sober as anxiety begins to fill me again.

I decided the moment I agreed to hang out with him that I was going to tell him.

I'm so scared. I haven't told anyone.

Selfishly, I broke up with my ex just to avoid this.

Hurting my family is enough.

"Why are you sorry?" He grabs my chin and turns my head.

I tear up, realizing we are reaching a point where I have to tell him.

"Honey, if something is bothering you, you know you can tell me, right?" He leans closer to me, his fingers brushing away the tears running down my cheeks.

I've been an emotional wreck all night. Even before Harry showed up.

How could I not be?

I was living a dream, I'm in New York and tonight I performed the show of my life. I've never had this kind of opportunity.

"What made you come?" I ask, needing to know why. Why, of all times to reconnect, did he decide now.

He runs his fingers through my hair and then along my jaw. He's so close to me.

"I almost didn't" He admits to me. He pulls back from me and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a little keychain.

"My mum called me earlier, telling me about your performance tonight. I'm only in New York for a bit and showing up to public events unannounced, usually isn't something I do" He looks at the little token in his hand.

"I went to this store and when I was leaving I saw this" He shows it to me. It's a violin.

I can't help it, anything involving music, especially violin, makes me light up.

I smile and take it from him. Its so cute. I love it.

"It made me think about the days when we'd get my house to ourselves and get drunk. You'd dance around, playing your violin like you were auditioning for Juliard" He smiles at me, looking at the keychain in my hands.

"I'm going to be front row, you know" He says, a playful smile on his face.

We were sitting on his bed, right next to eachother. Both leaning against his head board. I'm sitting more on my side, facing him. My legs curled up and my knees pushing against his thigh.

"What do you mean?" I wonder.

"When you score your first show at Carnegie" He says, the sweetest fucking smile on his face.

"Seeing you up on stage tonight. Fuck, Charlotte. You belong up there and I know I'm not the only one who would die to see you play something of your own"

Hes going to make me fucking bawl my eyes out. Something I desperately don't want to do in front of him.

"You are so talented and so beautiful, darling" He leans in closer to me and gently kisses my forehead.

He stays close, resting his forehead on mine.

I can feel the butterflies in my stomach, the fear.

I'm so scared, I don't know how to tell him.

I just want to be in this moment with him, no where else.

He brushes my cheek with the back of his knuckles. He's so soft.

"I mean it, Charlotte" He's serious.

"I got so lucky to be where I am. But you-" He pokes my chest and he's smiling again.

"You deserve the world and I know your going to change it. Just you and your little violin" He taps my nose with his finger and then smiles so wide.

I can't think of a person who deserves everything more than Harry. He didn't just get lucky, I may not have kept in touch with him but I know he worked his ass off to be in the position he's in now.

I shake my head, finding the courage to place my hand on his cheek.

I run my fingers through his hair and he smiles at me. His hair is longer than mine. It suits him.

"The day I met you I knew the world was going to fall in love with you. How could they not? Your smile alone is enough to brighten a room. You make everyone around you happy. Even when you're not, you always make sure everyone around you is smiling. Harry, there is no one who deserves the world more than you" I whisper to him, closing my eyes for a moment.

Our faces are so close, foreheads pressed together.

When I open my eyes again, I catch it.

I watch as his eyes quickly flutter up to meet my gaze.

Before I know it, it's the only thing I can think about. I fight it, so hard.

But I can't help myself, I glance down for just a second.

I quickly realize what Im doing but it's way too late. The moment I did it, he knew.

In just that little glance I get a picture of his heart shaped lips. Pink, soft looking lips.

I haven't had feelings like this in a long time.

The only thing in my head right now is him. Nothing else.

Not the consequences of these actions. Not the heartbreaking truth of my reality.

Just him.

I close my eyes, moving my hands down to the collar of his shirt and gripping it slightly to steady myself.

My stomach is doing flips, sensing Harry's slow movement closer to me. His hand slides into my hair and rests on the back of my neck.

With just a slight push, our lips connect.

I get nervous, instinctively pushing him back but just barely and not for long.

I wanted it.

I pull him back and we are kissing again.

It's so soft, both of us moving delicately.

It feels so fucking good.

It gets heavier and my heart is pounding. I'm so lightheaded but I don't want to stop.

I want to pull him as close to me as I can and I know he's thinking the same because he places his hands on my hips and brings me into his lap.

I straddle his thighs, my hands tangling in his hair. He's got one hand pulling my face closer to his and the other is on my hip.

He moves his lips, kissing along my jaw. His mouth is warm. It tickles my skin and I want more of it.

He pulls back to look at me for a second and cups my cheek.

"You are so beautiful" He whispers.

"So. Fucking. Beautiful" Between each word he lightly kisses me.

He doesn't pull back after the last one.

But this is when it hits me.

Oh no.

Fuck.

I can feel the anxiety dragging itself through my body, curling around every nerve.

In a panic, I push myself away from him.

I get off of his lap.

I can't believe I let it get that far. Especially before telling him. He deserves to know before anything else happens between us.

"Charlotte, darling, are you okay?" He follows me, but I get off the bed. Still turned away from him.

My mum told me I'd know how to do this.

But I don't. Anxiety is tearing me apart. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want pull him into this but it's too late.

This entire day is a dream. I can't even believe it's real. I never in a million years would have thought I'd reconnect with Harry. In New York City.

"I'm sorry if I'm pushing this too quickly" He says and then I do turn around. This isn't his fault.

God, I'd give anything in the world to lay in this bed with him all night.

"It's not you, Harry" I whisper, letting him reach out to grab my hand. He pulls me towards him.

"All night, something has been bothering you" He takes my other hand in his as well.

"Whatever it is, Charlotte-" He squeezes my hands tightly, pulling me even closer to him.

"Darling, you can tell me"

I know he's serious. He cares about me and it makes it so much harder.

I look at him and see the worry in his eyes.

I tear up and he hugs me. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tightly.

It makes me cry. I hug him tighter, crying into his chest.

I haven't told anyone. I haven't said it out loud. I've cut off almost all of my relationships.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

God, I don't want to hurt Harry. He's the last person I want to hurt.

He pulls back from me, he brings a hand to my cheek and brushes his thumb back and forth.

"Anything, love" He pulls my face closer to his, our noses almost touching.

"You can tell me absolutely anything, Charlotte"

He kisses the edge of my lips and tightens the hold he has around my waist.

My arms are still around his neck.

I bring my hands from his hair to his face. I hold his face in my hands, fighting to keep myself from tearing up again but I can't help it.

This man deserves nothing less than happiness. He isn't going to get that with me.

I hate it, so much.

I can hear my mother's voice in my head, telling me that I don't get to make the decision for him. She's right. I know she is.

It doesn't make anything easier.

"I-I don't want to hurt you" I whisper. I look at him for a moment, his face is warm in my hands.

I stroke his cheek for a moment and then pull away.

I back away from him, but take his hand as I do. I gently guide him back over to the bed and sit on the edge of it.

He joins me, sitting next to me and holding my hand tightly.

I take a few deep breaths, trying to find a way to say it.

But there isn't any way to say it. There's no way to sugar coat the inevitable truth.

I don't look at him, I just pull his hand into my lap and play with his fingers.

"H-Harry-" I squeeze his hand in my both of mine and look at him.

"I-Im sick-"

I can feel it, every fucking stage of grief running through me in an instant.

I'm supposed to be in therapy. Perhaps I should go. Maybe this would have been easier.

*Earlier That Evening*

[Harry's POV]

This isn't what I expected I'd be doing tonight. But curiosity always gets the best of me.

Not just that, but the flood of memories when I heard her name.

About 6 hours ago, I was in a meeting. I can still feel the nerves from it, the adrenaline at the thought of a new adventure.

A movie, I never imagined acting would be something I would pursue.

A lot of it is still quite secretive but I sent in an audition a little while ago.

I got to meet the director today, over a zoom call.

Christopher Nolan.

I smile thinking about it. How fucking excited I am. I fly out to London in a few days to meet him officially.

Before I could call her, my mum called me.

She never fails to call me, it's rare that I miss it.

God, I am so grateful to that woman.

Tonight, she hit me with a blast from the past.

Charlotte Cohen.

I haven't thought about that name in a long time. Her scent is the first thing that came to my head.

Strawberries.

When that memory came, all of it did.

All of the memories of that girl and the hold she had on me back then. I was convinced we'd get married.

So much has happened since then.

Sometimes it's difficult, thinking about the past. How different my life was then compared to now.

It's insane to think about it too much. I try not too.

I don't like to dwell on how things could have been if I hadn't decided to take on the world. Put my name out there.

I am happy. Unbelievably happy with where I am in my life now. I am free to explore any opportunity that comes my way and I have been lucky enough to have many.

After the phone call with my mother, I sat in my car and I let myself do it.

I let myself think about all of those memories I have with Charlotte.

A part of me will always love that girl, she could have tried to stop me from auditioning but she never did.

She supported every dream I had. She was there, the day of my audition.

So much has changed. I haven't seen her in a couple years at least.

My mum informed me that Charlotte had been invited to play at a Classical Music Charity event at The Town Hall right in New York City.

Where I happen to be at the moment. I wasn't meant to be here long. Just visiting a friend for a few days.

After I had gotten myself away from thinking so much about the past, and her I decided against going.

And then, we reach now.

I'm sitting in my car, twirling the little keychain between my fingers.

After talking to my mum on the phone, I met up with some friends. We ended up in this quaint little vintage trinket shop.

Something I probably have too much of, but I always see things that remind me of friends and family.

A way to keep those closest to me, with me all the time.

As we checked out, I noticed this little rack of keychains. Among them was one very in particular.

A violin.

I see her, twirling around my bedroom and playing her heart out.

She was astonishingly talented.

I remember her dream, Juliard.

I smile, thinking about the way I teased her about it. How her dream after school, is more school.

Shes always been smart as whip.

It's something I had adored about her back then.

I wonder if that's why she's in New York, I hope it is. I knew that girl for years, Juliard and then a sold out concert at Carnegie Hall.

That was everything to her and I can remember it so clearly.

She was stubborn, so stubborn. There's not a doubt in my mind that girl would get accepted into Juliard on her first try.

I bought my ticket an hour ago and decided not to tell anyone, I didn't even think about it.

Taking a risk, I don't usually. Especially events, showing up places unannounced doesn't always go well for me.

Depending on the place and the event, most people are respectful. Most people will leave me alone, some will say hi or ask for a picture.

I never imagined I'd be at a point in my life where I have to think carefully about going into public.

From what I gathered online, the event is a musical charity fundraiser.

Charlotte is closing it with a violin solo.

I made sure to buy a ticket closest to the exit. Luckily, I've been to a few shows at The Town Hall and know how to find my way around the place.

_________

I'm lucky enough to make it to my seat, virtually unnoticed. I noticed some second glances but I kept myself composed and went straight to my seat.

With another stroke of luck, I'm seated next to a sweet elderly couple. They both smile at me, I'm unsure if either of them recognize me.

After a few moments of people settling into their seats, the lights dimmed and the stage lit up.

A well put together woman walked onto the stage.

"Thank you to everyone who came out today, it has truly been an honor to be your host. All of our participating charities have come together and organized an amazing show for you tonight. Everyone up here has been impacted by these charities and therefore you, this is just a small way to say thank you. So, sit back and enjoy the show"

______

It truly is quite the show. Every performance is its own, every person bearing their soul in their own way. From slam poetry to choirs.

It was very fun to watch, very emotional.

With every performance that passes I wonder when she will be coming on. I find it hard to focus as I think about her.

The last time we spoke was over 2 years ago when her father passed. I couldn't make it to the funeral but we talked on the phone for over an hour.

I remember it, sitting in my hotel room and dialing her number. I was nervous about it, talking to her.

I shouldn't have been, besides a few awkward minutes at the start, we talked like we had never stopped talking.

As soon as I brought up her violin, she couldn't stop talking. It's been her life for as long as I've known her.

We kept talking for a bit afterwards, but life happened and I haven't heard really anything about her since.

My trance is broken by an eruption of clapping, I quickly join in. I feel bad that my mind is so preoccupied.

I selfishly came to a charity event at the chance to reconnect with someone. I donated to the charity that chose Charlotte to represent them, when I bought the ticket.

But, as much as I have enjoyed the night, she's the only thing I'm thinking about.

The curtains close and the familiar voice of the host, speaks out.

"We'd like to thank you again for joining us tonight, please give a warm welcome to our last performer of the night, Charlotte Cohen"

Suddenly, I'm alert.

It goes quiet and the curtains open, I can see her outline in the darkness. I watch as she prepares herself, shaking away the nerves.

Then, the spotlight appears and she's glowing.

She looks incredible.

She's wearing a beautiful white dress, her lips are painted red and her hair falls in loose curls.

I smile when my eyes reach her shoes, they are pink and from what I can tell, they are decorated with strawberry designs.

A weird little quirk, her obsession with strawberries. It's something not many people guess about her.

We met at a wedding when I was 14. She was the only one at the dessert table and I watched as she carefully picked out almost all of the strawberries and took them back to her table.

It's such a fond memory, meeting her.

Teasing her about taking all of the berries and then from that moment, we were almost inseparable.

I witnessed her perform for the first time and I can still remember exactly what I felt watching her.

I can feel it as I see her up on stage in this moment.

She has my full attention. I can sense her nerves in the way she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

And then, she starts to play.

I watch as her demeanor changes into one of focus and confidence.

'I don't play the violin, the violin plays me'

She said it all the time.

The talent she has, you'd almost believe it.

It's incredible to watch, to know she has been passionate about this since she could walk.

She's beautiful and elegant and the music is heavenly.

I'm in awe of her, watching as she plays with both vigor and melancholy.

The composition she's is playing is Tchaikovsky.

I know a scarce amount about him compared to Charlotte. I do know he's not easy to play and his music, being performed by her is something out of this world.

She's so skillful and meticulous in how she plays. She's very focused on what she's doing but everyone can see what it does to her.

The way she gets pulled into the music and pours out every part of herself.

It's emotional. I can see the tears shine on her cheeks and I want to know what she's thinking.

I hope she knows just how captivating she is as a performer. It blows my mind how this

girl doesn't have her name everywhere.

I can't put into words how attractive it is watching someone perform the way she does.

I haven't seen it in a long time, she's fucking stunning.

She has the whole room collectively in her world. Everyone is completely focused on her.

I don't think there's a dry eye in the room when she finishes the peice.

It's a moment of silence when she's complete and then an eruption of cheers.

People are quick to get on their feet and it makes me so happy to see it.

All for her, I've never met anyone who's

deserved recognition more than that girl.

I stand there for a moment and clap along.

She finally opens her eyes, her cheeks are tear stained but she smiles.

She looks around the audience.

For a moment, I feel like our gaze meets.

But I realize, I need to leave.

Quickly, I make my way to the exit before people start to make their way out.

I don't plan on leaving, my goal is to find her.

I know the building somewhat, but it's been a while since I've been here.

I also have no idea where her dressing room, would be.

I make my way towards where I think I have the best shot. I push open a door and bump into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry" I say, brushing myself off and looking at the man I bumped into.

Instantly, I see the recognition on his face.

"You're Harry Styles" He's both confused and shocked.

I smile at him, I'm always tempted to laugh when someone says it to me. Like I don't know. It's sweet.

"Am I?" I ask, looking around. I laugh to ease the man and after a moment the shock wears off.

"I wasn't aware of any special guests? Especially, you. No offense of course, I'm just shocked" He looks me up and down.

"No, it's alright. I'm not a guest actually, I came to enjoy the show" I wonder if this man can help me find Charlotte.

"Well, I guess that's not the whole truth. I'm looking for one of the performers. Perhaps you can help me, Charlotte Cohen the violinist?" He looks at me, he's confused again.

"You know Charlie?" Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

I never used her nickname, not even since the day we met.

"She's an old friend, do you know where I could find her?" I ask.

"Yeah, she's probably in her dressing room now. Come, I'll take you" He says, turning around and walking down the hallway we were in.

"She's never mentioned knowing Harry Styles" He says, looking at me like he's trying to figure me out.

"It was a long time ago. I heard she was performing tonight and wanted to reconnect"

"Well, she's just down here. Bless the soul on that girl, I've never met someone in my life as extraordinary as her. My daughter adored her before she passed away, she visited her in the hospital every week before that. I shouldn't be surprised that she knows someone like, well, you" He stopped outside of a door.

"I'm sorry to hear about your daughter" I say. He smiles at me.

"Oh I couldn't even imagine her face right now, standing in front of you. She was a big fan. Probably the biggest smile ever, she was the happiest little girl you'd ever meet" He looks at his feet and then back at me.

"Sorry, Charlie is right in here" He motions to the door and then opens it.

"Hey Charlie, you were incredible tonight. As always. I have a friend here to see you"

He steps in before me, but I'm quick to follow him into the room.

Charlotte looks up from the couch she's sitting on, quickly gathering herself and wiping her cheeks. But I can see light streaks of her mascara. She was crying.

"I'm sorry, Charlie, If Im interrupting" I hadn't gotten the name of the man.

"Oh no, it's alright Thomas. It's been an emotional night for everyone"

I look at her, Charlotte's mother. Edith. She sees me and her eyes light up.

"Is that, Harry Styles?" She walks up to me and the first thing she does is grab my cheeks.

"Oh my gosh, you have grown" She has the sweetest smile on her face and I laugh at the way she squishes my cheeks.

"Edith, you look amazing" She hugs me so tight.

"I know you're here for my baby, be easy with her, please. A lot has changed" She whispers in my ear as we hug.

She pulls back from me, her hands on my cheeks again. She smiles at me.

"You've done so well for yourself, Harry. You're a man now" I smile back at her, but her words bring my gaze to Charlotte.

She's already looking at me, now standing on her feet.

"How about, we let the kids talk" Thomas, takes Ediths hand and pulls her out of the room.

I look her over, finally up close. She's matured so much. Both of us have.

"Hi, Charlotte" I say, taking a step towards her.

She doesn't move, she stands where she is.

She's nervous, I can tell as she subtly picks at the paint on her nails.

"Hi, Harry" She whispers, she looks down at her hands. She smooths out her dress and I can see she's shaking a bit.

I think she realizes it because she looks up at me and puts her hands behind her back.

"I'm sorry, If Im intru-" She shakes her head and shuffles towards me.

"No, don't do that. I'm being weird" She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before looking at me again.

This time, her smile is warm. But I know the nerves are still there. She's very bad at hiding it, she always has been.

"It's just been a very emotionally overwhelming day. And then, you" She takes another little shuffle towards me.

"I think you were the last person I was expecting to see tonight" Her voice is soft, almost fragile.

"It's really good to see you, Harry" She takes one more tiny step towards me and then looks up at me.

"It's really good to see you too" I smile at her.

"I liked your mom's reaction, she hugged me right away" I say playfully, making her smile brighten just slightly.

"Shut up" She whispers sheepishly.

Hesitantly, she reaches up and wraps her arms around my neck. I quickly wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me. Hugging her tightly.

After a moment, she hugs me tighter and buries her face into my shoulder.

It feels amazing, hugging her. She's so warm.

She's so fragile and I wish I knew why.

Her mother's request backs it up. I hope she tells me.

I don't want her to be hurting in any way.

I don't realize how long we hug until we get interrupted, the door opens and she quickly breaks it.

Her cheeks turn pink and she looks away from me. Edith, however has the cutest smile on her face.

"I just wanted to say goodbye, I have to head out" Thomas says.

He walks up to Charlotte and hugs her. He faintly whispers to her but I don't make it out.

"Charlotte, you are the most beautiful soul I know. There is no one I would have rathered choosen to close the show tonight. Thank you" He cups her cheek for a moment and kisses her forehead.

Shes trying so hard to hold back tears and it breaks my heart.

"You changed my life, Thomas. I will forever be grateful to you" She hugs him hard.

Tears falling down her cheeks when she closes her eyes.

"I'll see you when I get to England" He says to her, his voice serious and firm.

"I promise" She says smiling at him.

He turns to me before he leaves.

"It was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for coming tonight and supporting us" He reaches out his hand and I shake it.

"With a father like you, I'm sure you're daughter is very proud" He smiles and reaches out his other hand, squeezing mine in both of his.

"Thank you"

He leaves the room. Leaving just me, Charlotte and her mum.

I want to take her to dinner. Catch up, hang out. I wonder if she's up for it.

"Edith, would you be alright if I steal her for a little bit?" I look at Charlotte and smile at her.

"Would you like to get dinner with me, darling?" I ask.

"Can I talk to my mum for a second?" She looks up at me, her expression impossible to read.

"Of course, I'll step out" I look between them and smile before leaving the room.

I lean against the wall and wait patiently.

God, she's stunning. She's grown so beautifully both physically and with her talent.

But I can tell that something is up. Well, I don't need to tell about if, I know something is.

I hope whatever is she opens up to me. I want to make her feel better.

After some time, the door opens and they emerge.

"Nothing too crazy" Edith says to me, her tone playful.

"I was just thinking we'd hop on my private jet and go to Italy for the night" I say shrugging.

I glance at Charlotte and smile at her. She starts giggling and it's the cutest sound.

"Nothing too fancy, don't want to over do it" I smile at her more and her giggling turns into laughing and it's so genuine.

It's the first time tonight I see a true smile on her face.

"Would you like me to drive you back to your hotel?" I ask, looking at Edith.

"I don't get an invite to Italy?" Now all of us are laughing.

I watch Charlotte. She glows when she's happy. Always has.

"It's alright sweetie, I'll get myself a taxi. Text me, let me know if you are staying with him for the night" I watch her cheeks turn pink again at the idea of spending the night with me. I definitely don't mind if she does.

"Okay" She whispers, hugging her mother.

Edith turns to me and pats my cheek.

"You know, every time your mother calls me to check in, she always gushes about you. Her sweet baby boy, taking over the world. Everyone at home is so proud of you" I smile and lean in to kiss her cheek.

"Thank you" I say, hugging her as well.

She turns around and walks away.

"Come on, I'm parked around the back" I say, reaching for her hand and pulling her with me.

"Would you like to go out for dinner or get some take out and go back to my place?" I look at her as we walk, her gaze is on our connected hands.

Until she senses me looking at her. She looks at me, her grip on my hand tightening just a bit.

"I-I'm actually not very hungry" She says shyly. I smile and squeeze her hand.

"That's alright, my love. Want to head to my place? We could watch a movie, catch up" She smiles back at me and nods.

"That sounds nice" She agrees.

We walk in silence the rest of the way to my car. Our hands still laced together.

Thank god for private parking.

The last thing I want to happen is for her face to end up all over the place just because she's seen with me.

It's an unfortunate warning I give to anyone I'm seeing.

We reach the car and I open the door for her.

"Do you bring your violin everywhere you go?" I ask, taking the case from her as she climbs in.

"I'm in New York, inspiration can strike at any moment" She says and I smile widely.

I close the door for her and excitedly get into the drivers seat. Music makes me so happy.

"What are you suddenly so excited about? Oh no, are you kidnapping me?" She asks, both of us laughing at the same time.

"No" I shake my head, like a kid.

"Are you composing now?" I ask and I think she realizes what I'm excited about.

She gets shy and looks away from me. I watch as her curls hide her face from me and all I can think about is how fucking cute she is.

"Why are you shy about it?" I ask, I turn in my seat and reach out. I place my hand on her cheek and make her look at me.

Her face is warm and I can feel it getting warmer when her eyes meet mine.

"Asks, Harry Styles" She says her tone is soft as she trys to be playful.

"What do you mean?" I ask, I lightly brush my thumb back and forth.

"Harry, you're the most talented composer I know" I can't help but smile even more at her compliment. My stomach is warm and full of butterflies.

"So?" I pull her just a little bit closer, I run my fingers through a fallen curl and lightly push it back behind her ear. I cup her cheek again.

"Do you think I'm going to judge you, darling?" I ask, brushing her cheek again.

"Because, I can tell you it's quite the opposite, Charlotte" I can see her getting emotional, her eyes becoming glossy.

"You have no idea how much I'd love to pick that beautiful mind of yours. I'd love to hear you play one of your peices" I say, I brush my thumb under her eye. Wiping away the tear that falls from it.

"Are you okay, love?"

She pulls back from me, sitting back against her seat. She quickly wipes her cheeks and stares down into her lap.

She picks at the paint on her nails.

"I'm okay" She whispers. She doesn't look at me. I watch her for a moment, wishing she'd open up to me.

I just want her to be okay. But not this, I know she's not okay. I know she's lying to me.

I look ahead of me, starting the car and shifting the gear into drive. After, I reach next to me until I reach her hand. I lace our hands together.

Shes shaking a bit but she holds onto me tightly.

End of Part 1.

[adleryoung]

Blast it! How was I supposed to make a decision with incomplete information?

"I need a team of the sneakiest Ixies to go into town and find out what's happening," I instructed. "I want to know when the trial is, who the judge will be, if there is a jury, who's in it, anybody of interest in the case. Also find out if the rabbits who started all this have a ringleader or if it really is just a mob. We'd better set up a relay with Ixies stationed in hailing distance of each other from here to town, so I can be notified the moment the situation changes. Find out if Didelphis's hut has been searched yet."

My troops buzzed away on their new mission.

"What if they don't even bother with a trial?" Chloe quacked nervously.

"If that happens, we'll have to try to pull off an immediate rescue. How likely is it that the town would skip a trial and go right to an execution without any due process? I thought you lowfolk considered yourselves to be 'civilized.' I assume that the local magistrate would have a lot to answer for if word of such irregular procedures ever reached a higher office."

"The rabbits are a more immediate threat than any censure from the High Court," Chloe explained. "Such disciplinary action would be late, if it ever came at all."

"They could just hold a kangaroo court," Rebecca suggested. "A show trial would satisfy the technical legal requirements even though the verdict was predetermined."

"Would the townsfolk go for all that jumping and kicking though?" I asked. "I suppose the rabbits might … yes, at this point I wouldn't put anything past them … but this is why I want to know who the judge and jury are. With luck, we'll have enough time to set a plan in motion before the trial. I need to handle this in a way that keeps the situation from getting worse. Which reminds me … IXIES! Those of you who rescued Petunia and Gretchen, go back to where you knocked out those rabbits, and if they are waking up, knock them out again. It is vitally important that they be soaked with liquor to tarnish their reputations and make their word suspect. We can't let them claim with any credibility that they were attacked with magic. It shouldn't be hard to find booze. Lowfolk use it to purify their drinking water. There should be bottles of the stuff in every house. Find some."

A detachment of Ixies flew away on this assignment.

"All right," I continued, turning my attention back to the witches. "I have a few ideas on how to fix this, but I need just a bit more information. Firstly: How many people know that Didelphis was a member and, in fact, the former leader of the coven?"

"Everybody knows," Petuna stated. "Didelphis bragged about it all the time. Like, constantly."

"She threatened to turn Oonagh into a newt multiple times," Chloe added, "once she learned how."

"If that's the case, why has she not been accused of witchcraft before now?" I asked, bewildered.

"Nobody took her seriously," Rebecca explained. "Obviously she never did turn Oonagh into a newt. The people all thought she was just a crazy old lady."

"So … is it common knowledge that Didelphis hates Oonagh?" I asked.

"Oh yes," Gretchen declared as the other witches nodded in agreement. "Yes, it is very common knowledge."

"If it is common knowledge that Didelphis was not only a student of witchcraft, but the actual leader of a coven, AND Oonagh's sworn enemy, why is she not under any sort of suspicion? Surely this looks like an obvious attempt to destroy her most hated rival?"

"Didelphis was the one who was turned into a child," Petunia pointed out. "Being a crone was her whole deal. She wouldn't have done that to herself, ergo it must have been the work of a malefactor. Them being enemies makes Oonagh the prime suspect."

"Really?" I sighed. "A malefactor? Despite the fact that Didelphis is KNOWN to be a dabbler in the dark arts? Is that the prosecutor's reasoning?"

The witches all shrugged.

[lilith-devi-nyx-elsword-theorist]

4th job advancement theory + New Character theory

With Monaterra release, I've decided to "try" and make this theory, it's not possible but I'll give it a shot for the "Winter Update" as to claim some Elboi's mentioning of a "rumor about 4th job advancement" without any solid evidence of where he's heard/seen this info within the Discord I'm not giving out his name. But reminder we just recently gotten 4th Jobs for everyone

So in order for this to even WORK in the first place, as I have not been following up on the updates and lore as I'm slowly just reading through the story as I'm far behind so I have NOT reached anywhere past Pruinaum Outskirts.

as we can't make a job advancement anywhere in the middle of Monaterra, as the story is still using the 3rd jobs portraits.

A work around for this is, maybe if you at least unlocked Monaterra

but there's a separate dungeon in the Special's Tab, where you have to do 3 quests. But they have to be done Solo. It's mostly going to be similar to how you did 3rd Job Advancements and Master Road. But you run a trial of Dungeons familiar to old dungeons. But these dungeons are personalized to your class you fight the specter again, but it's a Henir corrupted form of the 4th Job you're going to be.

the first 2 quests are references to the 1st and 2nd Jobs as Trial One.

Trial two, is 3rd Jobs unique dungeon as well, you fight the specter that is the 3rd Job.

the final quest and third trial is fighting the Specter, a 1 v 1. You're putting a fight against the Specter as the Henir Corruption

A "mention is that the Devs were thinking which is a bad idea to do right in the middle is remove El Resonance Points."

So this is where the problem lies, how will we the players progress in the game? It can't be an automatic 500 ERP, because most veteran players that are playing would most likely lost their marbles at the free things the recently playing player is doing rn.

So if it changes like that, we'd have to make it like this, at Elrianode and you unlock 3rd Job, you get 50 ERP, you don't get more from this,

the second requirement of 50 erp, is staying alive during the Rosso Raid so you DO NOT DIE on the first run. that's an easy 100 erp.

the third requirement of getting up to 700 erp is, which is very dumb on paper! And don't ever remind me how dumb it sounds as even I think it's dumb, but you have to at least have 4 masterclass characters even ADDED! to your el search party collection for an easy 50 erp. So say you played all 4 Aisha's and added them to your masterclass and collection you get 50. so you'd at least have around 150 erp with just one character fully completed 100%.

the whole collection you get is 700. it's a lot. but your choice if you want to work for that erp.

the last requirement of an extra 50 is surviving Berthe Raid, BUT not just Berthe Raid, you HAVE to at least do Abyss Raid as well.

You now have 750 ERP. but this might have to mean the removal of the EXP option.

SO a quicker way to get to endgame content real fast because you HAVE Phoru Quest that gives you a free +9 (+15 Reforge) Amethystine Armor. But this still doesn't get you anywhere, as you still have to work your FoJ grind, VoS and/or SoA stages if you get it, etc. So it's a quick way to reach Monaterra, but this doesn't mean much as you still have to work on your characters build, etc.

Now how do I explain what does this all have to do with 4th Job advancement? Well, you got to get to 4th job advancement somehow quickly right? Well this is your almost one way ticket to reach this elusive Job change, you get a permanent advancement cube, this will show you that. You've gone far to reach end game content. It would consist of having +5% Physical / Magical Attack Power with the normal stats from the 3rd Job costume, it's an upgrade. You gain a 4th Force Passive.

A new set of Skills and Class passives where this will go. you get 3 New Class passives these will sit right under Master Class with a line of saying " 4th Class Passives. " , and maybe if we're really grasping at straws here 5 more new mod skills but you are not allowed to use these new mod skills until you achieved 4th class. Which imo, this could be fair game.

Okay now another theory I'd like to touch back upon is a 2023 Winter release of a new character it's been since 2020 of December since Noah's release in Kr.

the theory flying kite around is, most of the times now, is 2-3 years since the last characters release would be a new character.

This is where I come in and say " Oh boy I love to make a theory about this lemme at em!"

So this is unusual. By going by the Kr release dates

Elboi, Aisha and Rena were released in 2007.

Raven and Eve were in 2008

Chung was 2010

Ara 2012

Elesis and Add in 2013

Lu/Ciel in 2014

Rose 2015

Ain 2016

Laby 2018

Noah 2020

So we would "technically" get a new character in Winter 2023 in KR.

or Early 2024 but their region is unknown. How would we get a character, we should have them start off IN the Demon realm, their own area ofc, but you go through the story where Henir's Order starts their mission, meaning yes you play as a Henir Order member. It's really dumb for me to change one of my other theories but let me explain.

They're not fully aware of what they're doing is good, not even bad.

The tutorial boss for them, is maybe a form, it could be Elsword. She doesn't know who Elsword is maybe it could be Genesis but we couldn't know as again this character is just as confused to what's even happening, but the El itself is showing her a Warrior bathed in light. After the El's explosion she's fainted within Henir's region, unable to find the other members of Henir.

She's unaware of how long it's been since she's woken up, she only travels Henir's Time and Space, this is where we can have her learn from GLAIVE himself of the events, thus he literally makes it as confusing to her than he should. Meaning he's more or less showing her the event's of the El Search Party, up to Elrianode.

She's definitely not trusting him, and he's more or less messing with her because she believes Henir's Order must be doing the " right thing?"

once she does for her Master Class, her own Master Road, is fighting Glaive. This mean's he's going to really show you, what he's capable of. This is where Glaive respects her while she may not remember what being a Henir Order member is like, but she's definitely going to find the El Search Party and confront Henir's Order for the destruction they've caused and the innocent lives they've harmed.

Once she reaches Monaterra she's only learning about what is of this world unable to understand Glaive's words, her choice is to "test" the El Search Party maybe fight Elsword in a 1v1.

Though because she'd be referred as an EX-Henir Order member, the El Search Party might keep a distance from her knowing this info.

This theory is going long enough for how dumb it sounds rn, you all are probably dreading this post, but let me remind you THIS HAS BEEN TAKING ME ALMOST 3 WHOLE HOURS TRYING TO MAKE A THEORY over a 4th Job advancement rumor and decided to pile on a New character as a theory THIS IS A LOT OF WORDS to finally stop making sense for once in my life!!!!

This entire theory can be set as boosh by this point.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Ive been going through some headcanons and i have a proposal:

Now, if you ask most other servers, they tell you that the people of hermitcraft are something like "old gods". Some say they are some of the original players, or maybe they were part of the creation that is their vast and confusing universe?

The hermits themselves dont really think so - sure some are quite powerful and they have several admins at their disposal.

But they aren't gods.

That doesn't mean that the universe doesnt have an eye on them. Most of them aren't really sure what or who keeps watch. Maybe its a neutral entity, a broken bedrock symbol and some purple wings have been in books before.

Or maybe its the void that stares back, even if thats just their admins eyes. Maybe tbe void has claimed one of their own, pulling the rest of the server along with them.

Maybe its even some of the hermits challenging or even summoning gods. There is a reason after all, why doc tends to change the subject when asked about the loss of his arm.

Some might suspect its the darkness that lies beyond the void. Wether that be an entire different dimension, existing solely for keeping balance or just a hole in the middle of the boatem town.

It could may as well be simple players, merging with servers while being summoned. Or sentient bases that follow their players home no matter what shape it physically takes on.

The Hermits know they are looked and perceived by the universe. No one really knows if they are blessed or cursed though, and quite honestly, most prefer it that way. To most of them the servers were an escape that turned into permanent residence, after all. No matter what they were running from, they were greeted with open arms. (granted, X has a habit of thoroughly making sure they are not here for pain and terror)

The gods favor hermitcraft, wether that be a good thing or not is debatable.

(lmao this is the first time i actually used the ask system on Tumblr ahaha sorry if my formating is weird.)

This is beautiful. I can almost see the intro or outro to a movie when I read it, it's just such a flavourful summary of some of the great ideas that have come through here in the last little while. I love how you tied them all together!

- Mod Shade

[everysongineverykey]

i have this nagging feeling of the opposite, it feels like gaster’s appearances in undertale kind of set the stage for deltarune. i get the feeling gaster is much more involved in the happenings of deltarune than anyone expects. like the fact that the whole thing starts as a survey program, gaster is the first person you talk to in the ENTIRE game and it’s a whole big sequence that sort of throws you off when you’re thrust into the rest of the game and sort of end up forgetting what happened initially. if it weren’t for that entire opening character creation part i would also think gaster would mostly stay out of the major storyline but that desire for connection was important enough to come FIRST before anything else

oh absolutely! i believe that deltarune was created first and foremost as a bid for connection (or at least, it was a big reason), and that's why every character in the game has some sort of arc about reaching out and opening up to others- kris, susie, noelle, berdly to an extent, ralsei, probably even toriel next chapter, possibly papyrus as well... the game itself glows with the longing for connection. if i were to speculate (which i'm not really one to do unless i have reason to believe my predictions), i'd say that at some point in deltarune, probably near the end, there's going to be some sort of event where you try to complete the game, but something goes wrong- it doesn't let you win. it's nothing to do with gaster or ralsei or any one character stopping you from winning- the game itself just decides it doesn't want you to leave, doesn't want to let you go, and maybe gaster has to help you stop it and break free, thus learning to let go of the person he's been trying to contact for so long. i have no reason for believing this other than it would be SO cool and would fit with deltarune's themes of moving forward and getting through trauma and the past while forging new connections and friendships.

and i absolutely agree that his appearances in undertale are setting the stage for deltarune! that's one thing i just adore thinking about. like... "thanks for your feedback! be seeing you soon!" like the sound test room is of course an unused room that a ton of undertale fans likely still don't know about, so i doubt it'll get directly referenced in deltarune (like "hey, remember this?" kind of reference), but it'd be SO cool if gaster's theme at least played. god, i hope it does. it has to, right? we've got five chapters left, it can't just never show up!

also, there's obviously "the time that you will meet [suzy]... is fast approaching" added to undertale like a MONTH before dr chapter 1 released. and the clam guy in chapter 2 whose static sprite is that of goner clam girl's! i'm so excited!!! i really do get SO stoked when i think about how deltarune has been in toby fox's mind since 2012, before he started making undertale, and how all these years we thought gaster was just a half-baked mystery he threw into undertale to get theorists thinking, and that we'd never solve it, but now it turns out that we couldn't solve it because we really deliberately weren't meant to!!! there was a whole other game gaster's undertale shtick was setting up for that we had no way of knowing about, and now we get to play that game as it comes out, in real time... how lucky are we?!? i think it's debatable whether or not gaster'll actually show his face in deltarune, but i think some more dialogue from him, even other than his twitter monologues, is unavoidable.

[queerascait]

QaF Rant #1 - The Britin Romance Arc

So I've got a lot of thoughts in my head about QaF... which kind of makes sense, considering I started a whole ass new Tumblr for it.

So, I figure I'll start from the beginning.

I started a series rewatch a few weeks ago as a comfort thing, and after I finished Season 1 I realized that I was delaying the other seasons because I knew what happened, and it's not comfort media if you're too irritated about the plot arc to care.

See, here's the thing, and I'm sure it's been pointed out before, but I'd personally never thought that deeply into it, and that is that the Season 1 Britin arc is structured like an actual romance novel (except that the grand gesture here comes before the black moment, with the prom scenes). So if that's what you're into - and I am, it's literally my career - you keep watching the later seasons expecting them to fully deliver on the romance novel promise that they set up in Season 1.

And then they don't.

But let's break this down a little bit. Britin is hardly the first television couple who doesn't get their happy ending all wrapped up in a bow, but it's one of the few where they hit the romance structure so hard in a single season, within a sexual and romantic context right from the start.

(For context, I'll be talking about romance plot beats as articulated by Gwen Hayes in Romancing the Beat, specifically, but she's not the only romance author to talk about story beats. I'll try to keep it short, but uh..)

Gwen divides the romance arc into four stages: Set Up, Falling in Love, Retreating from Love, and Fighting for Love, with five beats in each stage.

And this is exactly how things go for Brian and Justin. They have their Set Up - they're introduced individually, they have their meet cute under the streetlight, they fuck, Brian establishes that he doesn't do love and relationships even though Justin keeps popping up around him - and then we hit Adhesion when Justin steals Brian's tricks in Episode 3 and Brian gets jealous. They're in it now; Brian's internal self has shifted.

Then, we Fall in Love, roughly episodes 4-9. This is where the characters are still thinking - wait, I can't do this love thing, buuuut... they're starting to really get to know each other, giving into temptation, and it's starting to feel like everything relationship-wise is really within reach. In the show, this is where Brian starts to choose Justin of his own accord, scenes like going to the art showing, the easy way they are with each other in front of the gang, Brian letting Justin stay with him and standing up for Justin in front of his parents. We get a 'false high' here during the very domestic shaving/studying scene in Episode 9. We're a little early for the midpoint, but this is a show not a book, so I'd put the romance midpoint around here.

Next, we're Retreating from Love. I'd argue that this is the biggest phase in the show, from episodes 10 to 21 or so; Gwen makes the point that intimacy can continue or even grow in this phase, but that at least one character's emotional wound is starting to really get in the way. For Brian and Justin, we're getting a literal retreat - Brian throws Justin out after the break in, and he goes to live with Debbie. Yet, we're still feeling intimacy between them - they're still getting closer emotionally (and physically, ha!). I'd think that this stage lasts until Brian is approached about moving to New York. This becomes the metaphorical break up moment.

The last stage is a bit jumbled and truncated, which makes sense, because they're setting up for a second season. But basically, in the Fighting for Love stage, the character emerges from a dark night of the soul to choose love, making a grand gesture and putting it all on the line. (Then, we'd often see the kissing and making up and an epilogue to round it all off.)

And, that's what happens. Brian has his emotional black moment/dark night moment with the scarfing incident. He actively chooses to move forward, he puts it on the line by going to Justin's prom and dancing with him - one hell of a grand gesture.

But we need a cliffhanger to move the show forward, so the season itself ends on the bashing - a very black moment indeed.

(I could break all of this down into the 20 individual beats that Gwen describes, but uh... this is already long af.)

Anywho, the whole damn concept has been sticking in my mind and won't let go. It's not that I think that S1 should be the one and done and fully in their happy ending moment. There's plenty of emotional growth left to explore for both of them, not even including the bashing! But it's... they lured me in with the romance, and then shifted genres for this relationship into love story. And that's fine, I mean, there's plenty of people who love a good love story, me included, but I wanted the romance and instead of exploring that, we've got the cheating and the breakups/makeups and then they don't even end the series as fully committed, present partners who have fully embraced their emotional growth. It's frustrating as hell because I can see the potential.

Anyway, that's where my mind's been at. I've been toying with the idea of doing a season/series rewrite to explore all the thoughts that are clanging around in my head - based on the show and the brilliant set up in the first season, how would I write this relationship if I were doing it for work? But I mean, I guess we'll see.

What do you guys think about it? Has anyone else written romance vs love story Britin analyses that I can peek at?

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Fearfull Proposal

Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.

Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.

You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.

Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!

Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.

You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.

God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.

"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"

You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.

Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered

He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.

"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.

You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.

"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.

"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..

Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.

"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"

"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.

Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.

It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.

Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.

"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.

"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.

"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.

"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.

"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.

He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?

He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.

And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.

So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.

"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.

"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.

"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"

"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.

"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.

"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.

"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.

"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.

"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.

You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.

"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.

"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.

"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.

"No?"

"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses

"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"

"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.

"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.

"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.

"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"

"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.

"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"

"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"

"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"

"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.

"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"

You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.

Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.

"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"

"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"

"Dont you dare let me go!"

"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.

"Im trying to marry you..."

You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.

"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"

"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.

He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.

You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.

But now you were he happiest woman alive.

"I love you bear"

"I love you too"

"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.

"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.

You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.

"Gotcha, no wine"

"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.

"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.

"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.

"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.

"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.

"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.

[wndrcarol]

space girl | c.d.

request: could you do another carol imagine but based off of the song ‘Space Girl’ by Frances Forever? it seems really fitting (for obvious reasons) and i know that you’ll do an amazing job!! ❤️

a/n: I- thank you for this request omg. This song fits our fav space girl perfectly. Go listen to the song if you haven’t, it’s so cute and adorable. Anywho!! I hope you guys enjoy and sorry for any typos!

pairings: Carol Danvers x Reader

warnings: nothin’ too graphic so all good! :)

lyrics are in bold + italic! || flashbacks are italic!

———

Space Girl, show me the stars

You know the galaxies of my heart

It was another clear night and here you were, stopped on the side of the road near an empty field as you watched the stars above you. It’s been like this for a while now. Whenever it was a clear night, you’d take a drive to an open space and just look up and think about her.

You missed Carol. She had been gone for a while now, saving the world and other worlds and you couldn’t help but miss her. While she was gone, you would remember small memories you had with her to hold you over until she got back.

Fiddling with the necklace around your neck, you remember when she had brought it back with her, putting a small smile on your face.

Carol had just come back from a mission, a 5 month mission, and you couldn’t be more ecstatic to have her back next to you in physical form.

As you both were sitting on the couch, watching a movie she had put on, you let out a breath as you smiled and looked up at Carol to see her already looking down at you.

“What?” You smiled at her as she shook her head before reaching next to her and grabbed a small blue bag and handed it to you. Sitting up straight, you looked at her before taking the bag slowly and undoing it. Inside was a necklace with a small blue gem charm that changed colors once you touched it.

“Oh, Carol” you said softly, holding the necklace in your fingers as she smiled at you, motioning to help put it on you.

“I found it at a small marketplace before I came back and I just had to get it for you” Carol said as as clipped the necklace together around your neck, straightening it and looking back at you as you continued to admire it.

“I love it. Thank you” you said, smiling at her before leaning in and pressing her lips against hers softly before pulling back.

“And I love you” you said as she smiled wide before pressing her lips roughly against yours, placing her hands on either side of your face before pulling back.

“I love you”

Girl, are you a cancer?

'Cause you make me cry

You chuckled to yourself, thinking back to when you both first said ‘I love you’ to each other

Carol watched you walk around the kitchen, multitasking as you made breakfast for the both of you. You held the spatula in your hand, waiting for the pancake to cook as you turned to her, continuing on about your new craft project you picked up.

“I mean it when I say it’s addicting, Carol. Its like once I’m done with on painting, I have to go and buy another. I guess mainly since it’s a big relaxer for me but painting by numbers is fun and-“ you were cut off by Carol as she looked at you with a soft smile.

“I love you” she said as you paused, looking at her with wide eyes. You both had talked about how you wanted to take things slow in the relationship to see where things go. So her saying that completely took you off guard.

“Babe?” She asked as you came back from your trance. Carol motioned behind you to the stove as you let out a small ‘oh!’ before flipping the pancake, not wanting it to burn.

You turned back to Carol with a soft smile. “I- I love you” you said, feeling your face heat up a bit. Carol smiled before motioning you to continue on with your project talk, not wanting to miss any word.

When we kiss or dance in the sky

We're dancing in the sky

Stargazing was something you and Carol always did. She brought on the tradition of doing it you, pointing out stars that she would say were planets she visited.

“So you’re saying you’ve seen a star up close?” You asked in amazement as she nodded slightly, both of you looking up at the sky that was littered with stars.

“And you didn’t burn up??” You asked again, turning your head towards her. She smirked lightly before turning to look at you.

“I’m pretty sure I burn as bright as a star, babe” she said as you chuckled, nudging her arm. Turning back to the sky, you let the comfortable silence fall over you both before turning back to Carol.

“There’s one star I’ve seen that I’m incredibly amazed by” she said as you raised you eyebrow, humming ‘mm’ for her to continue

Turning to you, her smirk still on her face. “You” she laughed lightly as you rolled your eyes, telling her to hush as she turned back to the sky still chuckling to herself.

“Well, you’re my favorite star” you said, saying her joke back to her as you turned onto your side, laying your chin on her shoulder softly.

“My stargirl” you smiled at her as she smiled back before you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

Space Girl, I saw a lunar eclipse

Looked like how I feel 'bout your hips

One night you both decided to head out to Pancho’s as Carol wanted to show you a place that meant a lot to her. It warmed your heart knowing she was showing you this place and even comfortable sharing some memories she was able to remember from here.

All night, you both had been singing karaoke, annoying the other customers while some cheered you both on as well as getting slightly tipsy. It then turned into competing against each other on the ‘Space Invaders’ machine, betting whoever got a higher score wouldn’t have to pay for drinks.

Later into the night, someone had put on a slow song. Staring down at your drink, you smiled thinking about how great the night was going. It was nice being in Carol’s company and you couldn’t help but feel slight butterflies even being near her.

Carol extended her hand to you as you looked down at her hand before back up at her with a smile. Taking her hand, she helped you out of your seat before placing her hands on your hips as you put your arms on her shoulders, swaying back and forth together.

“This is nice” you smiled softly as she hummed in response. You looked around to see others looking at you before turning back to doing what they were before and you couldn’t help but smile a bit more.

“Thank you for coming with me” Carol spoke softly as you turned back to her, nodding lightly as she squeezed your hip lightly. Though going to Pancho’s made her feel more at home, she also felt as though she missed out on so much being away on Hala and having a whole new life. Carol was glad to be making new memories with you in a place she loved and it only made her feel better about going there.

“Of course, thank you for bringing me here” you smiled as she smiled back before beginning to lean closer and pressing her lips against yours softly. Your hand moved to cup her cheek as you felt your stomach begin to do flips.

Pulling back, Carol leaned her forehead against yours as you both closed your eyes, staying there and continuing to sway to the music, not wanting to let go.

Space Girl, the only way that we'd end

Was if you were sucked into a black hole

Yet, through all happy memories you thought back to, the one memory that broke your heart always resurfaced and replayed in your mind.

“Don’t get lost up there” you said, tugging on her leather jacket, smiling as you looked up at her. You frowned slightly as she placed her hand lightly against your cheek.

“I’ll come back to you” Carol spoke softly, looking at you as her heart broke. She didn’t want to leave you alone because she didn’t fully know how long she’d be gone.

“Is that a promise, Danvers?” You smirked at Carol as she chuckled lightly, her thumb lightly stroking your cheek as she smiled at you and nodded her head.

“You bet your ass it is” she said, pulling her hand away and pulling you in for a tight hug. Closing your eyes, you took in the moment, not wanting to let her go.

Carol pulled away before placing her hands on either side of your face, cupping it. She leaned in and pressed her lips against yours as you kissed her back, your hands landing on her hips and pulling her closer.

Pulling back, she gave you a small smile as you smiled back, tapping her hip with your fingers.

“Go save the world, space girl” you smiled as she chuckled, pulling away but grabbing onto your hand.

“I’ll be back” she said as you watched her helmet come over her head and face before she took off running and eventually blasting off into the air.

You looked up as you watched her go high up into the sky until she disappeared. You felt a tear fall down your cheek as she smiled up at the sky, closing your eyes and saying a silent prayer for her to be safe.

But I'd still spend my days dreaming 'bout you

Dreaming 'bout you

You smiled, watching a shooting star fly by as all the memories flooded back to you, making you feel happy again.

Even though she’s gone away for a bit, you were glad to still have those memories and the stars above to look at whenever you missed your special space girl.

Tell me how to

Stop dreaming 'bout you

-

feedback is appreciated!

[lilred8220]

Well, yet another fic no one asked for😃

I wanted to write this because some time go, I was watching the fireworks when this song started to play↓↓↓

And I just thought how romantic it would be if I wasn't forever alone 🙃 so, I build a story around that. I hope you enjoy it!

P.s. This is a F!MC

--

I had been so excited for this day! In the human realm, my hometown this time of year had a huge festival ending with a huge firework show. I had asked to go a week in advance but due to being in the Devildom for the exchange program, I couldn't go. It definitely was a disappointment. However Diavolo, seeing me upset and now curious about the tradition, asked all about it and he thought it sounded fun. Thanks to him always wanting to do anything new, he immediately decided to do the same here in the Devildom.

So through the long week, he asked about everything we would do at the event to make it much more fun and quickly get everything ready to make this last second festival. It somehow all came together and it feels almost exactly like the festival from the human realm. The food, sweets and all! Now it was the time to enjoy the festival!

The brothers couldn't understand why I was so excited for this. Though we all went to festivals and saw fireworks, It was just something that I would always look forward to this time of the year and it's just more special this time around. It kinda feels as if I'm sharing something that I love with everyone I care about in a place where I like to call my new home. Hopefully they'll come to enjoy this as much as I do.

"So, this is called an Elephant ear?“ Beel asked, drooling at the large fried sweet in front of him.

I laugh, as I grab a piece before he can scarf the treat whole, "Yeah, it's just fried dough with powdered sugar on it. They usually sell these at any carnival or festival." I pop the elephant ear in my mouth, savoring the amazing taste.

The brothers each had something to eat as we took a break from all the festival games littered around. We all take two picnic benches for the 8 of us, well, us and Beel's giant pile of food he got. Everyone had won something from the games…well everyone but me and Mammon. Mammon was determined to win a game, yet his luck seemed to be the worse for wear today and all the games we'd gone to all ended up with one of the other brothers winning the game. My luck honestly wasn't any better due to playing the same games that the others had won.

"I'm telling ya! Those games are rigged! The people runnin 'em are just a bunch of con artists!“ Mammon yells, clearly frustrated that he hasn't gotten anything.

"Or maybe you just suck lol" Levi says, holding a Ruri-chan plush to his chest.

"Honestly, you really shouldn't be surprised, you were pretty terrible at all those games since you had no choice but to play fair." Satan adds on, which all the brothers nod in agreement.

Asmo laughs, "Well, what do you expect from a scumbag?"

I start to get annoyed as the brothers all start to bash on Mammon. He seems fine on the surface but I've been around him long enough, with him basically living in my room and all, to see all his little ticks. Like when he's excited, his hand gestures are more dramatic, to emphasize his point or how his eyes light up when something catches his attention, like something to make a quick buck. However, right now, with the way his mouth slightly twitches and his hand shoved into his pockets, he's upset. He really only does this when the brothers throw insult after insult at him, like right now.

I sigh as they continue their assault on him. But an idea comes to mind and it'll be easy enough to pull off.

"Does...that all that stuff apply to me too? Since I didn't win anything either, after all..." I say, putting on my best pouting face and looking down at the ground.

Immediately, the brothers started to panic, trying to reassure me that it wasn't true, successfully drawing their attention away from Mammon. I slightly looked up, passed the frantic brothers to lock eyes with Mammon. He stood there for a moment, a bit confused by my sudden comment. I flash him a quick smirk before looking up at the brothers, accepting their apologies. The brothers seemed to relax and drop the topic after that, returning to the food they have. Mammon, who had seemingly understood what my intentions really were, looked at me, with his face slightly flushed, then stared down at his food.

In Mammon's mind, he honestly doesn't know what force sent Y/N here but, she is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to him. At first, he hated the idea of being her guardian due to all of the extra work he was given. But, as days turned to weeks, her treatment towards him was nothing but sweet and loving. It honestly was a huge adjustment for him, since everyone treated him like scum or useless, having her place so much faith in him, even defending him and doing little gestures like this, it makes his head spin. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but, his feelings for her drastically changed, he couldn't deny it now, how he longed for her, wanted her all to himself. How he loved her unconditionally.

I smile, quickly finish eating my food then stand up, "Ok! Time to get back to the games!“ I say, excitedly.

"Y/N, I'm glad you are excited but some of us still need to eat." Lucifer says, glancing at Beel and his mountain of food.

"Awww, come on Lucifer, I wanna try to win something before the fireworks start." I plop down again, putting my chin in my hands.

"Well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time." Lucifer tries to cheer me up, eating some fries.

Mammon looks up at Y/N, upon seeing her upset. He honestly hated seeing Y/N upset, even if for something so small as to wait for everyone to finish eating. He wanted nothing more than to see her smile everyday, it honestly was one of his favorite parts of the day to see her smile so sweetly. He'll do anything to make her happy. He sits up and scarfs down his food before standing up. "Ok, how 'bout this,' ' Mammon gets up and walks over to me, ' ' since I haven't won anythin', I'm gonna go play some more games and I'll meet ya guys later. Y/N, ya can come if ya want to." Mammon starts to walk away, at a slower pace than he usually would.

"Yeah! Ok!" Before any of the other brothers could protest, I quickly got up and hurried over to Mammon. I can hear the brothers stumbling to get up to follow us.

"Hey! Mammon is stealing Y/N!"

"That's not fair!“

"That scumbag..."

I hear some of the things they're saying as they seem to be trying to catch up.

I grab Mammon's hand and start to make a run for it. "Come on!" I glanced back at Mammon, who seemed shocked. He looks back to see the brothers in hot pursuit of us. Getting the hint, Mammon picks up the pace. We high tail it out of there, laughing like a bunch of kids all the while.

--

Me and Mammon finally stop and I flop on the floor, trying to catch my breath as Mammon puts his hands on his knees.

"I…I think we lost 'em" Mammon pants, out of breath from running around.

"I…I think so…jeez, how…how do you always do this when you get in trouble?“ I wheeze out, my human body not used to running as much as a demon. Especially if that demon is Mammon.

Mammon straightens up, finally catching his breath, "Well, I'm not usually running from ALL of my brothers, just Lucifer mostly."

Mammon reaches his hand to me and after a moment, I let him help me up. He helps me to my feet and when I look up, his face is very close to mine. We stare at each other for a moment before both of our faces turn more flushed than we already were.

His bright blue eyes that have a hint of that golden yellow has me in a trance. When I first met Mammon, it was the first thing that drew my attention, it's honestly something that I always find myself staring at all of the time. They are very beautiful to me and never fail to make me feel relaxed when I see them. But not only that, he is a very handsome man. His rich caramel skin with his pure white hair makes his face stand out even more. He is just so captivating to look at, however his personality is what truly makes him shine. Even if he tries, and fails, to hide his true feelings, he always has his heart on his sleeve, rather if he realizes that or not. He tries so hard to help me or to even make my day brighter when I'm not feeling my best. He even tries to protect his brothers and is always there for them. He honestly is the most caring person I've ever met and I can't help but fall for him because of that.

Mammon looked down at her face, he honestly couldn't help but stare. In his mind, she was more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. Her beauty not only stopped at her looks but the person she was. She was a true wonder to him, too good to be true yet, here she was, defying all logic. All he wanted to do was look at every detail of her face, her eyes as they shine, her soft skin as the blush covers her face, her parted lips as her breath finally slows down. Mammon was the first to turn away, catching himself now staring at nothing but her lips.

He clears his throat. "W-Well since we're here, let's get to some games!" Mammon says, his fangs flash with his grin.

We made our way to the nearest game booth, both of us looking at the various prizes. The booth in question is a simple ring toss, the bottles are organized by colors which show what size prize you can get. There are the ridiculously large stuffed bears that are taller than me to the very small animal plushies. Scanning all the prizes, one catches my attention, a black plush crow with a yellow tag on it. It was big enough to hold in your arms, it's wings dangled at its sides. It had its beak opened slightly to look like a smile. I glance over at Mammon, who is currently eyeing a plushie of a grimm, that also has a yellow tag hanging off of it. I laugh, thinking of how that plush crow reminded me of him.

Mammon looks at me, slightly confused, "What are ya laughing at?"

"Oh nothing, though I know what prize I want." I smile, looking back at the crow plush.

Mammon follows my eyes over to the plush, he tilts his head at my choice, "Ya sure that's what ya want? There are plenty of things better than that ol' crow."

I nod enthusiastically, "Yeah, I think it's cute, like someone else I know." I playfully push him.

His ears turn a dark red but he laughs, "Well, I know what I want so, let's go and win some prizes!“

We pay the demon running the game and start trying to make the rings reach its mark. However, as in most carnaval games, the rings in question are only slightly bigger than the top of the bottles, making it much harder to win. Not to mention the bottles for the better prizes are further back, making it much harder. As we try a couple times, we don't get much luck and we're running out of grimms to play. However as we reach our last game, even though I end up with nothing, Mammon manages to sink a ring on a yellow bottle.

"We have a winner!“ the demon behind the booth says, walking over to grab the ring.

"Yeah! This was nothin' for the Great Mammon!" Mammon threw his hands in the air, and I cheered with him, "You did it! You won!“

The demon walks back over to us, "Alrighty, you can pick a prize with a yellow tag. Which will it be?"

Mammon's eyes flick to the plush he was eyeing earlier and he goes to speak, but an announcement rings through the speakers all around the festival, "The firework show will be starting in 15 minutes, marking the end of the festival! So hurry and grab a seat to enjoy the show!“ a cheery voice says before the music from before starts to play again. Mammon looks down at me for a moment before a small smile appears on his face.

Mammon looks at the demon and points at the plush crow, "I'll take that one."

I look up at Mammon, "But, I thought you wanted-“ I get cut off by the demon swift return, "Here you go." The demon hands him the crow plush.

Mammon takes the plush from the demon with his usual bright smile and starts walking off, I quickly follow, still confused. Once I catch up, he looks at me with a blush on his face and holds out the crow to me.

"W-well, there wasn't really anythin' I wanted, so I figured I'd get this ol' crow since ya seemed to want it so bad." He says with his usual bravado, yet it was a bit more shy than normal.

"But, you said…" I start to say as I take the plush but, cut my thought short.

Even though I know he wanted something, that much he's been saying all day, he still got me this crow plush. Knowing how he struggles to do these things and becoming a stuttering mess when it's pointed out, I choose to not question him. Yet, I can't help but love him even more, him knowing that I wanted something as well and that he'll be going back home later with nothing. I'll have to repay him later but for now, I'll just enjoy the rest of the festival with him.

I shake my head and give him a smile, one that shows how much I truly appreciate and love him, "Thank you so much, Mammon." I hold the crow close to myself.

Mammon feels all the air in his lungs escape him. Y/N's smile, the sparkle of joy and something more…intimate in her eyes. Honestly, for a split second, he found himself jealous of that crow, seeing Y/N holding it so lovingly. He wanted, no, needed to show her how much he loves her. If not tonight, it'll drive him insane.

--

After looking a bit, me and Mammon found a perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We sat on a hill that was a bit further away from the festival and luckily, we could still hear the music playing from one of the speakers nearby. We sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Which based on the amount of time it took to find this isolated spot, it should start at any moment.

Mammon is resting his arms on his knees as I sit with my legs crossed, the plush crow close to my chest. I watch all the demons in the distance hurrying to find a spot to watch the show as well. Thankfully, none of them seem to look in this direction. So right now, it's just us, alone.

After a few moments, Mammon looks over at me and shyly starts to speak, "H-hey, Y/N?"

I look back at Mammon, noticing his face slowly forming a blush, "Yes?"

"I…I wanted to tell ya-" Mammon gets cut off by the first firework going off.

We slightly jump, but my eyes widen as the firework show starts, "It's starting!"

I watch as the firework starts to make the usual dark Devildom sky shine bright with many different colors. All the while, a familiar song starts to play on the speakers, making this a moment that I want to treasure always. It was a song from the human realm and it was a song that made this moment feel more intimate. I honestly couldn't ask for a better day, I got to go to the festival with all my favorite people and I even had, dare I say it, a wonderful date with Mammon. The thought of going on a date with Mammon makes my cheeks burn but I truly wish that this day would never end.

Mammon's heart starts to pound in his chest, his gaze never leaving Y/N. He watches as her eyes glow with wonder, watching the fireworks as if it were the first time. She never looked more beautiful, more perfect than right now. If he was ever gonna make his move, it had to be now. Mammon opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find it in himself to break her trance. However, his greed for her attention, her voice, her touch, for nothing but her, was growing. So, he closes his mouth and takes a deep breath. He leans closer to her as his shaky hand gently touches her cheek to turn her face towards him.

When I suddenly feel a light touch on my face, I snap back to reality. Before I can react, I feel my face being turned and suddenly, Mammon leans in, his eyes close and gently presses his lips on mine, like he's afraid that I'll break. My eyes widen, taking a moment to realize what is happening. Mammon, feeling me not move, starts to move away, most likely worried he did something wrong. But, not wanting to lose the moment, I quickly filled in the space he left, pressing my lips a bit harder than he did. Mammon tenses at my sudden movement but quickly melts into the kiss, holding my face with his hands. I place the plush to the side, momentarily forgotten, I place my hands on his chest for support.

The air stills, the world around us starts to disappear. The only thing to keep us from forgetting the world completely is the sound of fireworks and the song playing so sweetly.

I snake my arms around Mammon's neck, then he takes the chance to pull me in closer by my waist, closing the gap between us. Even though he was nervous at first, he seems to have relaxed, even nips at my bottom lip, causing me to gasp. He swiftly slips his tongue in my mouth, tangling it with mine, deepening the kiss. We held each other close, like we were afraid that the other would vanish.

Needing to breathe, we lean away slightly. I'm not sure when it happened, but I managed to end up on Mammon's lap. Mammon seems to also realize the position we're in and his breath hitches.

His hand comes up and holds my face, "I love ya, Y/N."

My heart flutters and I lean into his touch, "I love you too, Mammon. I…I always have."

"Y/N, I care about ya so much and I…I don't want anyone else trying to steal my most precious treasure from me. The thought of it kills me, because I'm yer first man." Mammon stops, becoming more shy, "I w-want ya to be mine and…I'll be yers…if ya want me."

I feel as though all of the butterflies in my stomach would explode out of me. I can't stop the big smile that appears on my face, "Mammon," I hold his face in my hands, "no one could ever take me away. And not only that but…" I bite my lip, feeling a bit bashful, "You already have me. Now and forever."

If Mammon could, his eyes would have hearts in them. He looked at me with such lovestruck eyes, his face is probably the most peaceful expression I've ever seen. I look back at him in awe, honestly have never seen him so happy, like he's on cloud nine.

A smile is plastered on his face, "I promise that I will be with ya till the end of time. I gotta be the luckiest demon in the whole festival, no, the Devildom. But, I guess I did win something at the festival after all." His smile suddenly turns into a smirk, "What do ya say we go somewhere more private and we can continue…this?"

My face turns red, but I nod. We stand up, I grab my plushie so that we can leave when I suddenly hear someone, or rather, some people, running this way.

"MAMMON!"

We spin around, both of us knowing too well who that voice belongs to. Lucifer and the rest of the brothers are running at full sprint in our direction.

"Oh shit!" Mammon yells out, quickly sweeping me off my feet, making a run for it.

Startled, I grabbed on to Mammon's jacket, making sure to not drop my crow plush, "Ah! M-Mammon!“

He looks down at me, " Well, I might get strung up later, but I'm yer man now. I want ya all to myself and I don't know about ya, but I'm not ready for tonight to end." He flashes his signature smile.

I can't help but laugh, as we make yet another escape from the brothers. This is truly the best day I could have asked for.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love - Part 10

A/N - Finally an update!! 💕

chrisevans I'm so excited to announce that Y/N and I are expecting!! We are both over the moon.... i cannot even put into words how happy i am right now.

Mama and baby are both doing great and Dodger is thrilled that he's about to become a big brother.

#BabygirlEvansComingSoon

It was a few weeks after the premiere, middle of May, my 5th month in my pregnancy that Chris finally put out the announcement and surprisingly it went well....better than i could ever have imagined. The messages from Chris's fans were amazing! Of course there was still some haters but nothing that was too awful or couldn't be ignored. It was nice that it was out now and i didn't have to worry about someone finding out and leaking it to the press.

Chris was scheduled to start filming 'Defending Jacob' a series for Apple TV mid June through to July. The good thing being it was filming in Massachusetts, 20 minutes from home so he wouldn't have to stay away.

Chris was finally upstairs getting ready so he could head to set, he had been whining this morning about wanting to stay home with his girls.

I was currently laying on the sofa in a sports bra and shorts, with my now 6 month belly showing while i watched some crappy daytime show.... i had removed Chris's t-shirt when i started getting hot flushes.

"Okay im ready to.....go. Jesus christ why are you half naked right now?" I looked round to see Chris looking me up and down like i was the tastiest thing he'd ever seen. I rolled my eyes looking back at the TV "hot flushes, i sweat through my shirt...i feel like I'm burning alive"

"Such a drama queen" he chuckled

"Excuse you?..... you wanna try going through this??" I snapped, i knew as soon as it was out of my mouth it was uncalled for and instantly felt bad "I'm sorry i didn't mean to snap.... is the damn AC even working?" i said almost feeling like i was gonna cry. Chris came walking over crouching in front of me with a cold cloth and draped it across my forehead.

"That should help a little and i got you some ice..." he passed me a cup of ice chips and i cried.

"Hey! Whats wrong?"

"You're just the best boyfriend ever"

"Awww" he chuckled pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Don't.... I'm all sweaty and gross"

"I like you all sweaty" he wriggled his eyebrows making me laugh "and you're not gross..... you're beautiful. I nearly had a heart attack seeing you laying here looking like this.... now i really don't wanna leave"

"You have to, stop making excuses"

"I dont want to leave you alone like this..."

"I wont be, Scott's coming over we're gonna go for lunch later"

"Oh.... "

"You're okay with that right?"

"Yeah of course" he smiled before leaning in to give me a kiss.

"Hey! its just me!" Scott yelled from the front door on cue.

"In here!" I yelled reaching my hands out to Chris to help me up into a sitting position.

"Yikes! what is going on with you you're a mess" Scott said looking concerned.

"Thanks! Thats just what i needed to hear Scotty" i scooped out an ice chip and popped it in my mouth.

"Hot flushes" Chris told Scott and he pulled a face.

"I'll be okay in a minute, it'll pass. Though im pretty tempted to go jump in the damn pool right about now"

"Stay outta the pool sweetheart, maybe a lukewarm bath or shower would help?"

"I'll be fine Chris, you need to go or you're gonna be late"

"I don't wanna leave you alone...."

"Err hello? Im here, she's not alone" Scott said coming to sit next to me on the sofa.

"Can you put your shirt back on.....i don't feel comfortable...." Chris started to say while looking me over again.

"Stop! I am not putting that thing back on when i feel like I'm in the pits of hell Evans!" I said pointing at the soaking wet t-shirt on the table " besides Scott's seen me in my bathing suit plenty of times.... I'm wearing more now than i was then! also incase you forgot.... I'm not his type"

"I feel insulted!" Scott gasped before smiling at his brother.

"Just go to work! I will call you if i need anything, we'll be fine".

Chris sighed but nodded, he leant in and gave me a kiss and finally left for set.

"Geez he always like that?"

"No, he's got a little more protective as the pregnancy has gone on but that was new"

"He's probably just worried about you. This is the first time he's had to really leave you since you've been pregnant"

"He'll be back tonight! He needs to chill out. I know i sound like a bitch and i really don't mean to but i literally feel like Satan himself is roasting my body!"

"You want some more ice chips?"

"Yes please".

After another 30/40 minutes i finally felt myself cooling down.

"Oh thank god! I think it passed"

"For now"

"Thanks!" I laughed "I've had a few hot flushes here and there but nothing like that... that was brutal!"

"Well I'm glad it passed, why don't you go take a shower and we'll go get some lunch, it will do you good to get some fresh air, we can even take Dodger"

"Sounds good to me".

Scott and i grabbed lunch at a small family run cafe that was kinda tucked away, not a lot of people actually knew about it which was the reason we chose this place when we'd have lunch....it also had a small outside seating area where we could sit with Dodger.

Once we were done with lunch we took Dodger for a walk in the park where he found a new friend, they ran around together for a good half an hour.

"Wow he's gonna be beat" Scott laughed as we sat on a bench watching the two dogs running around.

"Good! He has too much energy!"

I chuckled "i'll be wanting to sleep and he brings me his toys wanting to play its exhausting" i said exaggerating, truth was i loved that Dodger always wanted my attention.

"Well he's gonna have to learn to share you when my niece arrives"

"Do you think he'll be okay with the baby?"

"Im sure he will, Dodge is a good boy"

"The best, i just worry. I worry about everything lately though" i laugh rubbing my hand over my belly "you ready to head back?"

"Sure"

I whistle and call for Dodger and he comes running straight over allowing me to attach he's leash.

"Lets go home bubba" i scratched behind his ear before handing the leash to Scott.

We got back to the house and let Dodger out of the car, he ran straight towards the front door and started growling and scratching at the door.

"Hey stop!" Scott said quickly and Dodger turned to look at him before starting again this time barking loudly.

"Whats his problem?"

"I don't know....."

"Maybe Chris is home?"

"His car isn't here....." i opened the door and Dodger ran inside sniffing everywhere.

"Hey Chris you home?" Scott called out but i already knew he wasn't, this didn't feel right.....

"Scott, somethings wrong....."

"What do you mean?" He asked turning to me looking concerned.

"I don't know its just a feeling i have"

Dodger suddenly ran past us and up the stairs, we followed him up to find him sitting outside mine and Chris's bedroom scratching at the door.

"Chris....." Scott called again thinking Dodger just wanted to get to him but no answer, the house was silent.

Scott stepped forward and opened the door and we both gasped at the what we saw. The whole room was trashed.

"Scott..... what if someones still in the house?" I turned to him with wide eyes as panic set it.

"Stay in here with Dodger, I'm gonna check the house..."

"No! Just call the cops, stay in here with us!"

"I'll be fine! They're probably long gone, Dodger would be going crazy if they were still here...but i just wanna make sure".

"Please be careful! I'll call the cops"

"Okay lock the door behind me".

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[a-mended-pact]

Unsteady keys: Chapter Eight

A/N: Hey everyone sorry for the wait on this chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know your thoughts.

Warning: this chapter contains Smut. If you are not 18+ DNI

Word count: 2,320

Request are open

If you wanna be added to the taglist just ask!

I was the first one awake. I tried to go back asleep but the longer I layed there the more my mind filled with images of him and Ethan. I wasn't upset about them having been together.  Quite the opposite actually if anything I just wanted to know Spencer from back then. Was he happier? Did Ethan make him experience a happiness that I wasn't giving him?

This isn't jealousy right? I've never really had this emotion around Spencer before. He's never given me a reason to feel like this. It's a strange thing. 

I glanced down at his hand resting on my stomach. His silver band was shining in the sunlight that was peeking through the curtains. Even though my mind was a wreck, the atmosphere in our room. Our home was calming. I didn't want it to be shattered. Of course I knew that eventually it would. I only hoped just not right now.

I closed my eyes and kept trying to fall back asleep when I felt his arm tighten around me and pull me in. He nuzzled into my neck and started peppering it in kisses. A soft sigh escaped me.

'Good morning love.' His voice was hoarse and extremely dreamy. I knew we wouldn't be able to have our talk about Cat if he sounded like that the whole time. All I'd want to do is jump his bones and show him exactly who he belonged to. 

I rolled over to face him and groaned in small annoyance because of course he looked delectable. 'I can't tell if that was towards me or the thought of being awake with the sun in your eyes too.' While he spoke he was rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

'Oh it most definitely was to you. It's not fair that I'm supposed to be upset and you look like this when waking up. Derek wasn't kidding when he called you pretty boy all the time.'

As I spoke I shoved him on his back completely and straddled him. I watched as he closed his eyes and let out a small moan as my hands purchased on his chest. The longer I sat there feeling him beneath me the more my mind filled with ideas. Pleasant dirty ideas. 

I dug my nails into his chest and scratched him softly. I leaned forward and began kissing his neck, placing wet kisses up and down it until he started squirming beneath me. A moan left his lips as I bit his neck and started sucking. Sure I knew this wasn't a professional thing to do. Especially since everyone would definitely see it. That was the point though. I wanted everyone to see it.

Apparently the ring wasn't enough to show he was mine and I wanted to make sure the point got across this time around. 

His hand wrapped itself in my hair as he held me down to his neck and grinded against me. Making me moan in his ear and him shudder at the sound.

I pulled away and sat up completely on him. 'This wasn't how this morning was supposed to go.' I punctuated each word with a movement of my hips.  I could feel him through my panties. God it was a glorious feeling. 

A small moan escaped him as he rested his hands on my thighs watching me. 'This definitely isn't how I imagined it happening either but I'm not gonna complain. ' He met my motions on his own and I couldn't help but dig my nails into his tummy. 

'I'll only let thi-' before I could finish my sentence he bucked up into me and pulled me down to him by cupping my throat gently. I couldn't do anything but moan and whimper. Life definitely wasn't fair sometimes.

He kissed me hungrily at first until he pulled away and stuck his thumb on my swollen lip. 'Mark me.  That's what you want isn't it? You want to have more of a claim over me than the ring on my hand. You wanna show them that my body is yours just as well as my heart. Do it Y/n. I'm all yours.'

We both rushed off the bed quickly to strip ourselves of our clothes before I shoved him down to the mattress. He laid there with his hands behind his head with a smug smile. 

'I hate that you're right. I thought after we got married I wouldn't have to keep showing people that you're mine. I'd wipe that smile off your face though if I were you or else I'll make sure your breath smells like me when you interrogate Cat later, maybe even when you go talk to Ethan too.'

A small chuckle escaped him as he watched me climb up his body leaving bites and claw marks in my wake. 'Careful darling your possessiveness is showing.' I glared up at him from his belly before biting him there. He winced slightly but still held that blasted smile. 

I was already turned on just by seeing him nude. He always had that effect on me and he knew that. Once I made it up to straddle him again he pulled my head down to his neck. 'Go on sweet girl. I know you want to.' I moaned into his ear as I rubbed my wetness up and down his hard cock. I laced my left hands fingers in his hair as I latched onto his neck. He lifted my hips slightly and aligned himself up with me and made me slowly sink down on him. I gasped and let go of his neck as he bottomed out completely. 'F-fuck!' I sighed into his neck attaching myself to him yet again as I started to ride him. 

He felt amazing inside of me. Stretching me. I had missed this. We'd be so distracted with work and Diana and my mental health it's taken a toll on our sex life. I pulled myself back and rested my hands on his chest for leverage as I started riding him harder and faster.  'God, that's it. ' He moaned, throwing his head back in ecstacy.  

I dragged my nails down his chest to the end of his happy trail making him buck up into me. His hand moved to my waist as he pulled himself up to cup my ass. He started kissing up and down my neck until he made it to my pulse point and bit. A loud moan escaped me as our movements became more violent.  My hands began clawing at his shoulders and back. 

A whine left me as he pulled me into a gentle kiss. His other movements making me thrash on top of him. My legs started shaking and clenching.  He was the only thing keeping them apart.  'You're almost there sweet girl. Just let go.' I continued gasping and whining as his own thrust became a bit irregular.  My eyes brimmed with tears when he began covering my neck in kisses and bites. My hands caught into his hair as I held him there.

'I- I don't wanna. Not yet.' I was so breathless I wasn't sure if he heard me. He smacked my ass making me let out another moan. A few tears escaped my eyes as I fought against my own orgasm. I didn't want right now to end because the moment it does we will have to actually confront the storm around us. I wasn't ready for that.  

He cupped my face and caressed his thumb along my cheekbone.  'I'm yours. Only yours. All yours.' His thrust became sloppy as he kept kissing me each time he pulled back to speak and our lips were still touching. Caressing. I whined again and clung to him harder. I felt his other hand move between us. The moment his fingers touched my clit I felt myself come undone. He let me ride out my orgasm as he continued to thrust until he came too.

'I love you Mrs Reid. ' He said right before he tossed me off of him so he could get off the bed.  I could feel his cum leaking out of me and I could do nothing but shudder. I was going to yell at him for what he did until he grabbed me by my ankles and jerked me to the edge of the bed, spreading my legs wide. Before I could ask what he was doing his face was buried between my legs and he had me pinned in place by his strong arms and hands. 

'Oh! My god Spencer!' My hands immediately went into his hair as I squirmed from overstimulation. I was gonna cum within seconds. I'm sure he could tell too. It was always so easy drawing orgasms from me when he used his tongue.  

He pulled back and looked up at me, his face glistening with my essence. He kissed my thigh and smiled at me. 'Sweetheart you shouldn't threaten me with something I would enjoy and then not do it.' He buried his face back into my heat bringing me closer to orgasm with each stroke of his tongue.  

'There you go. Cum in my mouth darling. I'll be sure to talk to Cat and Ethan when we go into work first thing. ' I began shaking again as I grinded on his tongue.  With a couple of more licks I was a goner.  I climaxed into his mouth and he ate it up eagerly.  

'I'd say you thoroughly marked me my love. '

______________________________

By the time we made it into work we were late. I had no regrets though. I could see her smiling at me the whole way Into the building. Obviously admiring her work. She was giddy and to be honest I didn't blame her because I was too. Even if my neck was killing me. Y/N really did a number on me. I was certain I'd get looks had I let anyone see me before I strolled into the interrogation room. This was going to be fun. I could still smell her on my skin and on my breath. I had brought my go bag up so I could clean myself off properly after. As much as I loved having her state her claim on me like this. It wasn't work appropriate nor was it polite to the rest of the team.

I had no idea whether or not my wife followed me here or not. Honestly I didn't really care if she did. This would happen whether she were watching or not regardless. I had let Cat get to close for comfort in more ways than one. 

I sat down in the hard chair across from her and watched as she took in my new markings. Her face contoured from amusement to hatred back to amusement.  'Oh, Spencie looks like you've been a naughty boy. Are you trying to tempt me into ruining you too?' She went to reach up to touch me when the cuffs pulled her back into place. 

'I'm married Cat. Nothing I do with my wife is any of your concern. However what is my concern is where Lindsey is. Why don't you give me a little hint?' My voice came out monotone. I really just wasn't in the mood for today. I much rather be surrounded by someone that wasn't such a pain in my ass. 

She clicked her tongue at me as she let out a laugh. 'What like I'd just give you the answers? Please.' She scoffed. Her eyes never left my neck and I couldn't help but fight a smug smile as her emotions started getting the better of her.

I stayed silent as she thought of what to say next.  'Why don't we play a game first?' She smiled at me, her teeth showing. 'I think it would be more fun.' It was like she was reminding me she was still in control and that made me nauseous. 

'If I guess right to my own assumption I'm gonna need you to tell me what I want to know but if I guess wrong I'll tell you everything I know about Lindsey.' The smile never left her face. Someone like her shouldn't be able to get under my skin.  She was a killer and here I was thinking of how attractive her mind was as if she hadn't killed about 200 people. 

'I'm not playing your games Catherine.  If I heard right you and I aren't playing anymore. It's you and the misses.' I smiled as I got close to her making sure I blew my breath into her face. Her eyes widened as she Jerked herself away from me like I had burned her.

'You're a bastard spencie.' She looked away from me and down at her hands. If I didn't know any better I would say she's trying not to cry.

'What's the matter? You are showing signs of jealousy. Do you wish it was you that did this to me? I leaned away showing off my neck a little as I stretched.  'You love the idea of getting your claws into innocent men especially when they aren't expecting it.' A smile formed on my features as I watched her struggle to make eye contact with me. 

'Well I'm expecting it. I was from the moment we knew you were involved in this case. You are trying to taint me and Mark me as yours.' I pointed to my head and I watched as her eyes followed my hand movement. 'Luckily for me I've already got someone's claws into me and I wouldn't have it any other way.'

I got up to leave when I turned and looked at her

 'Have fun with the other Agent Reid, Miss adams.' I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as I closed the door behind me.

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