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stevieschrodinger · 2 months ago

Text

Part One Thirteen

NSFW

“You want to listen to it while we fuck?”

“Ah, no, honestly I’ve jerked off to that song so many times now I’ve Pavloved myself and I’ll come in three minutes and twenty four seconds exactly.”

Eddie laughs. He can’t help it, which is silly really, considering he has his hands down the back of Steve’s pants. He can’t stop laughing, face pressed against Steve's solid chest, shoulders shaking with laughter. Steve’s ass is meaty and solid in Eddie’s hands, and Steve just wraps his arms around Eddie and waits for him to get it out of his system.

Eddie thinks he’s done laughing, but when he finally looks up and sees how serious Steve’s face is, he cracks all over again. Steve’s laughing with him now though, finally losing it, his chest moving against Eddie’s cheek.

It finally tails off, Eddie sighing, letting himself relax into Steve’s arms. He gives Steve’s ass a little jiggle. It’s a good ass. He can feel Steve scenting at the top of his head, that’s followed by a very firm chin rub, right across the top of Eddie’s head, Steve’s throat rubbing across Eddie’s face.

If Steve was an Alpha, it would be a definite declaration. If Steve were an Alpha, Eddie might have even reflexively tried to stop it from happening. Steve’s not though, so it just leaves Eddie with his soft Beta scent in his nose, and a sense of loose calm spreading all the way to his fingertips.

It’s different, that scent. Completely sets itself apart from every experience Eddie’s ever had. There’s no cross over, nothing from sense memory to send him back anywhere unpleasant. Just a fresh start, right under his nose, literally and figuratively. It’s a sobering thought though, and it’s not anything they’ve ever spoken about before; suddenly it feels relevant, “I’ve been with a lot of people, you know that, right?”

“Can we not discuss it when you’ve got your hands down my pants?” Steve answers, but he’s smiling, light and unbothered.

“Actually, I feel like every single conversation we have from this point on should be conducted with my hands down your pants.”

Steve snorts a laugh, looking away for a second to gather himself, Eddie gives Steve’s ass a jiggle, and Steve sighs, but it’s mock put upon and Steve's still smiling, “I know you’ve been with a lot of people, but the past is the past...it doesn’t change anything now. We both have a past, and we’ve both done things we’re not proud of...but I don’t see why it should hurt either of us now. Not when we’ve both come so far, you know?”

“Yeah but...you’re not the one out of us that’s fucked, like, a thousand people. I’d understand if...that was a problem.”

Steve sniggers, “pretty sure you haven't fucked a thousand people...but. Since we’re talking about it,” Steve suddenly tilts his head, looking proud of himself, “you’re probably fondling the guy with the highest body count in his high school and college.”

Eddie can only shake his head fondly, “so you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it. It’ll be different because it’s us.”

“Pretty sure there’s a finite number of ways to fuck and I’ve already hit ‘em all, sorry.”

Steve huffs, “firstly, I didn’t mean that literally, and you know it...and secondly…” Steve leans forward, takes Eddie’s mouth slow, soft. Gentle touches of tongue until Eddie opens up and lets Steve in. Steve pulls back, leaving soft, pecking kisses on Eddie’s lips, he uses the waist of Eddie’s pants to pull Eddie closer, both of them hard and pressing together. He whispers against Eddie’s mouth, “so you’ve had someone hold your hand and look into your eyes the whole time while they fuck you deep and slow?”

Steve follows it with a harsh, dirty grind, pressing them together. Eddie makes a breathy noise that he will deny for the rest of his life, “no?” he finally manages, weak and whispery. No ones fucked Eddie, not ever. It’s probably the one thing he’s never done.

“It’ll be different then, won’t it?” Steve whispers.

“Jesus,” Eddie looks away. Can’t possibly keep looking at Steve or he might explode or something. He chooses to scent Steve instead, chooses to try and retake a little control by letting his Alpha out for a minute, being a little territorial. He rubs his scent thoroughly across Steve’s neck and shoulder. Steve just takes it, letting Eddie work it out of his system before he settles into Steve’s hold again. Just, standing there, holding one another.

“I kind of imagined this differently,” Eddie admits quietly. They’re rocking together now, no music, just swaying slowly in each others arms in the middle of the room.

“Yeah?”

“Uh hu...I, uhm, imagined making it really special.” When Steve wasn’t in the picture, Eddie just liked to imagine simple things. Liked to comfort himself with sad but easy imaginings of Steve kissing him goodnight. Now, since they’ve been together, Eddie’s been imagining much more explicit scenarios very regularly. It doesn’t help that Steve has made them ‘take it slow’ and Eddie could die of blue balls at literally any moment.

Steve grins down at him, “so eating our weight in snacks at Gareth’s isn’t your idea of romancing me? Honestly I’m glad, I was at least expecting dinner-”

Eddie huffs at him. They’ve had a nice day. Steve clicked with the guys straight away, and Eddie can’t really express how glad he is that they all get on. Eddie was pretty sure they would; the guys are easy going and Steve is...well, Steve about everything.

But still, even though Eddie got teased pretty relentlessly, he’s calling today a win. The guys knew who Steve was, kind of. Even with Eddie’s recovery going strong, they knew something was up. Something other than the whole dealing with alcoholism and drug addiction and figuring out how to move on with his life despite all of that. The guys still knew.

They knew Eddie was pining. And Eddie didn’t know really, how to explain that he’d kind of fallen in love with some guy he spent less than two weeks with. Some guy who, actually, was a total professional through the whole thing and just...shouldn’t have attracted that kind of attention.

Completely Eddie’s fault that he caught feelings.

A guy who had to distance himself from Eddie because of Eddie’s own stupid choices. And, if Eddie’s being honest, for Eddie’s own good.

Gareth and Jeff seemed to get it though, when Eddie explained. Even though Steve was a guy, and Steve was a Beta, Steve was still just...Steve. And Chrissy still didn’t seem to believe that Eddie’s feelings were really real, not for a while, at least. But months later, when Eddie was still missing Steve and ended up, one really, really fucking tough and lonely night, writing Boy Scout...she seemed to get it after that.

They all got it, once they heard Eddie sing it, playing his acoustic for the recording. Eddie had struggled through tears for the recording, made his voice sound even more rough, harsh and undeniably brimming with emotion. That's the recording that made it to the album though. That's the one they used.

They all knew then, how Eddie felt. And if record sales are anything to go by, a truly considerable number of people also know how Eddie feels about Steve. Even if they don’t know who Steve is.

Eddie’s going to do his best to keep it that way; but they know they can’t keep it a secret forever.

These things have a way of coming out.

He didn’t need the guys spending all day teasing him for mooning over Steve, though. Steve had absently linked their fingers together at one point. Steve had been mid conversation, and Eddie happened to be standing next to him..and Steve just, took his hand. Like a totally normal, affectionate boyfriend would. Eddie hadn’t known what to do with himself, not really, he’s still getting used to being treated this way, and for it to happen in front of the guys...well, Eddie’s sure he’d been blushing like a virgin.

And then Steve had lifted their joined hands, and pressed a soft kiss Eddie’s knuckles.

Again, no thought to it whatsoever, just easy affection. The guys had all clocked it, staring at them. Eddie’s pretty sure he’d gone red as a tomato, but, thankfully, despite all the knowing looks they’d thrown his way, the guys had been merciful and not said anything.

Probably because they all seemed to like Steve so much.

“No...when I was daydreaming about this I wanted to whisk you away to Italy.”

Steve goes still, holding Eddie tight but leaning back, a hand in Eddie’s hair pulling Eddie around to look at him, “tell me about it.”

Eddie immediately pulls free and goes back to hiding, resting on Steve’s shoulder now, “you know, usual daydream stuff. Private jet. Roses. Strawberries and champagne, that kind of thing. Well, not the champagne but you get the idea. Rent a villa for a week, somewhere really nice. Take you to see all the places you want. Naturally I’d let you do all the talking, and I’d be incredibly impressed.”

“Well I do my best for the green owl...and I am absolutely terrible at taking my PTO, and the gym is pretty kind with it’s time off, I’ve probably got loads.”

Eddie pulls back, “wait...you’d let me take you?”

Steve smiles, kissing Eddie’s nose, “just this once. I’m not waiting until we’re in Europe to have sex though, just to be clear.”

It’s not really the done thing, when there’s a Beta in the mix, and it’s selfish to ask. Steve isn’t built the same as Alpha and Omega, when Steve bites Eddie, Eddie’s going to feel mated. He’s going to feel good; he’s going to be so flooded with endorphins he’s probably going to have one of the best orgasms of his life.

All Steve is going to feel is pain.

But Eddie is selfish, and he can’t resist, and so when the need suddenly rises up inside him, he asks anyway, leaning back in so his nose is practically pressed to Steve’s barely there scent gland, “you going to bite me, one day? Let me...bite you?”

“Only if you let me put a ring on it.”

Eddie doesn’t even need to think, “deal.”

“I want to get married outside,” Steve tells him, bending down and dislodging Eddie’s hands, hooking him under the thighs and lifting.

Eddie is an Alpha, he should not get off on being manhandled. He finds himself getting off on being manhandled, since it’s Steve, “that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.”

Steve walks them over to the bed, throwing Eddie bodily into the middle somewhere, Eddie bouncing a little on the mattress, “late spring? Early summer?”

“Just as long as it’s not too hot, I don’t mind. Whatever you want.”

“Robin will be my best man,” Steve says, pulling his shirt off over his head.

Eddie stares at Steve’s bare chest, “I don’t want to talk abut your best friend right this second, funnily enough,” but Steve’s grinning, stripping off, then crawling nude up the bed, grabbing Eddie’s pants and boxers and peeling everything off in one smooth move.

Eddie pulls his shirt off, and then he’s naked. And Steve’s naked, kneeling at the bottom of the bed. And...they’re staring at each other. Steve is like...a golden fucking Adonis. He’s toned in the way you only really get when you have an active job. His chest is hairy, his skin is golden, and he’s got more moles than Eddie could have predicted but Eddie wants to find and take note of every single one of them.

Eddie’s still a little on the skinny side, he’s pale and his muscle is ropy rather than strong like Steve but...he doesn’t look ill any more. Doesn’t look sickly like he did at his lowest point.

Steve seems to like what he sees, if his cock standing to attention is anything to go by.

“Lube? Condoms?”

“Yeah,” Eddie points vaguely at the bedside table.

Steve crawls over there, rummaging, and Eddie felt like he was aiming too high when he bought supplies. Kind of felt like he was tempting fate, that the moment they got delivered Eddie would somehow be immediately punished for wanting this.

Steve grins when he sees what’s in the drawer, pulling out both boxes. They’re both brand new and sealed, and Steve peels the cellophane off both, one box of Alpha condoms, one box of regular. “You want to try?” Steve asks, holding up the regular kind.

“We could.” Eddie’s thought about it a fair bit, since the very first time Steve mentioned it, and he figures if there’s one person he’d be willing to try this with, it’s Steve.

“We don’t have to, we don’t ever have to.”

“Do you like it?”

“I...do. But I could live without it,” Steve answers honestly, or at least, Eddie hopes it’s honest. He’s got no idea how this will go. But it’s best they give it a try...Eddie can’t imagine that Steve is the kind of guy who would end a relationship over it...but he doesn’t really want to risk Steve becoming unsatisfied because Eddie won’t ever let him top. It feels like a small sacrifice to make.

“Then lets try, I’m about as far from my rut as I can be, my cycle’s leveled out...so it’s probably the best time to try for the first time.”

Steve nods, crawling back over, leaving a single condom and the lube next to them, “you should probably be on top though, for this first one, just in case.”

“Okay,” Eddie might be familiar enough now with Steve and his scent that he’s fine with being pinned by him sometimes, but being pinned with a dick in him? Eddie has no idea how his Alpha will react.

“Plus I’m not up to much for a little while once I’ve taken a knot, so if you want round two later then I’d better go first.”

Eddie wants to focus on the ‘round two’ part of the statement, because honestly, that sounds awesome. What actually happens is Eddie’s instincts become concerned with Steve taking someone else’s knot, and he rumbles out a little warning growl instead.

Steve settles next to him, all beautiful and naked and unbroken lines of muscled perfection, and he’s grinning, “what was that?”

“Apparently I don’t like the idea of you taking someone else's knot.”

“Ooooh, possessive huh? That’s nice. Well, don’t worry, it was a long time ago when I was young and dumb and willing to do anything to get what I wanted.”

Well that...that is a lot. Another small part of Steve’s past that Eddie didn’t expect. They don’t talk about their past much, neither of them do, and Eddie doesn't know about Steve’s motivations for that but...he just hasn’t felt the need to volunteer anything. It’s done now. That’s not who he is any more, not really.

“Hey,” Steve thumbs away Eddie’s frown, “don’t do that, it’s fine. I was still enjoying myself, even if I wish I could go back and give myself a talking to. Nothing bad happened to me Eddie, not like that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Steve smiles, “good,” and then he leans in for a kiss.

They have made out a lot over the last few weeks. Like, a lot a lot. Like horny teenagers with their first beau kind of a lot. But...this is the same but different. Still soft, still nice, still...a little bitey sometimes. But still Steve. Except now Eddie can roll Steve onto his back and slide a sweeping hand across Steve’s stomach and over a naked hip and thigh. The head of Steve's cock brushes Eddie’s forearm as he does it, leaving a hint of stickiness there.

“You want me to open you up?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answers, “never...you know.”

“I know,” but Steve's grinning like he’s won something. “Come on.”

Steve rearranges them both, sitting himself up a little on a comfy pile of Eddie’s collected bedding, pulling Eddie after him to straddle his thighs. Eddie goes where Steve sits him, watching avidly as Steve cracks the seal on the new lube and pumping a fair amount out onto his fingers. He rubs his fingers together, spreading it a little, before he seems to be satisfied and slips his hand down between Eddie’s thighs.

Steve’s fingers are warm enough, and slick, but still the first touch makes Eddie yip and lean away reflexively, gripping at Steve’s shoulders, “sorry. Ready this time.”

“Just tell me anytime you want to stop, okay?”

“I ain’t a quitter,” Eddie replies confidently.

Steve raises an eyebrow, and then Eddie realizes what he just said. It’s not funny, it isn’t, but they both laugh anyway. “Okay,” Steve goes in again, and this time, knowing what to expect, Eddie lets him touch softly, rubbing at Eddie asshole for a second before pressing in with one finger. Which goes pretty easily, actually. It goes all the way in, right until Steve’s hand is pressing against Eddie’s body, “okay?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s good,” doesn’t feel like much, just a weird wet little intrusion. The second finger should just feel like twice as much, but it definitely doesn’t. Eddie is suddenly very, very aware that he has Steve's fingers in his ass, and he breathes out slowly.

“Still good?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so,” Eddie’s found himself staring at Steve’s chest hair, but Steve’s angling his head down, seeking eye contact. Eddie makes himself give it, he didn’t realize just how hard he’d been concentrating.

“Kiss me then?”

Eddie does. He has to keep hold of Steve's shoulders and lean down, but he does, kissing Steve slow while Steve gently fucks him on two fingers. The palm of Steve’s hand is pressing up tight behind Eddie’s balls, and it feels so good that when Steve pulls his fingers out, Eddie whines a little and tries to chase it.

He has to watch while Steve pumps more lube onto his fingers, and Eddie knows three fingers is coming. He braces a little, but there’s no need. The pressure is slow and even, and Steve’s used enough lube that there's no sting, just a little burn as things stretch to accommodate Steve.

Feels good, even, and Eddie’s panting a little into Steve's mouth when he goes back for more kisses. Steve eventually speaks against Eddie’s mouth, “put the condom on me?” he asks quietly, slowly and carefully pulling his fingers free of Eddie’s body.

“Yeah,” Eddie knows what it can be like opening one of these things with slippy fingers, so he’s happy to do it for Steve, holding his cock upright with one hand as he carefully rests the condom on the exposed head of Steve’s cock, like a little hat. Eddie deftly squeezes the air out of the end before sliding his hand down, unrolling the condom with it.

Steve’s pumping more lube onto his fingers while Eddie works, and without either of them needing to speak, Eddie keeps hold of Steve’s cock, keeping it upright so that Steve can slick himself up.

It’s suddenly very real, what they’re about to do, now that Steve isn’t distracting Eddie with his hungry kisses. Eddie’s scent must signal something, because Steve’s eyes flick up to Eddie even as he’s still working slick over his cock. It’s a little obscene to watch, really.

Maybe Steve will jerk off sometime for Eddie. Put on a show.

“Come here baby,” Steve guides Eddie’s face to rest in the crook of his neck, where the scent is strongest. It’s soothing; relaxing. Comfort. It has changed a little; subtle. Eddie probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been scenting Steve a lot for weeks now but...this must be what horny Steve scents like. A little brighter, something in the organic parts that give it a little zing, almost citrussy but too subtle to really identify as anything. It’s just...a little sharp. A little fresh.

Still nothing at all like an Alpha or an Omega. Totally different, new, fresh, safe.

Eddie’s gone a little soft through this, kind of sporting a half chub now, but Steve’s scent helps, the wet head leaving a sticky trail on Steve’s skin. The drag feels good.

Eddie takes a greedy lungful as Steve notches the head of his cock at Eddie’s hole. He stills then, nothing happening for long enough that Eddie’s gearing up to say anything, but then he realizes; Steve’s waiting on Eddie. Eddie has the control here, Steve’s giving Eddie the power.

Eddie just has to take the first step. It’s up to Eddie to choose to act. It’s so quintessentially Steve...Eddie gives a gentle nip to the side of Steve’s neck, and then sinks down just enough that the head of Steve’s cock pops inside him.

It feels...big. Like, it’s a lot. Eddie has to wait, just after that, to let himself acclimatize a little bit, “Jesus,” he breathes out low, “did your cock get ten times bigger while I wasn’t looking?”

Steve snorts, “you just got a tight little hole baby, that’s all.”

“Yeah because it ain’t designed for this,” Eddie replies grumpily.

Steve bites his lips together, holding in a laugh, but he doesn’t say anything. Probably the smart move, and Eddie shifts a little, Steve keeps rubbing comfortingly along Eddie’s thighs as Eddie lets himself sink down a little.

He’s not going to say how big Steve is again, he’s not. There’ll be no living with the smug fucker if he says it again.

Eddie breathes out slow, it’s a terrible moment to be reminded of all the stupid yoga breathing Steve’s been doing with him, but, hell, if it works it works. Steve’s cock feels like a fucking tree branch by the time Eddie is seated in Steve’s lap, and he’s dragging Steve’s scent across his tongue like his life depends on it but...he’s done it.

He lets himself have a moment to settle, Steve’s hands roving across Eddie’s back now, “you good?”

“Yeah. Yeah, just a couple of minutes.”

Steve kisses Eddie’s hair, and waits. It feels like it’s in Eddie’s lungs, and Eddie is...still kind of skeptical about this. But...he’s tried a lot of shit, and this isn’t any different. Plus he kind of loves Steve, so he’s going to give this a fair try.

The knowledge that Eddie’s never going to have sex with another person, all being well, ever again, prickles along Eddie’s skin. One final deep breath of Steve’s scent, and a tiny, possessive rumble on the exhale, and Eddie lifts himself up. Steve’s hands move with Eddie, sliding down to cup his ass. Not holding, not guiding, just following the movement.

Eddie slides down again and...oh. There’s a little zing of something, where Steve must have brushed against his prostate. Eddie lifts again, sitting up now so he can watch Steve’s face. He suddenly regrets hiding in the crook of Steve’s neck, because Steve looks wrecked. Eyes are totally blown, lips red and shiny like he’s been biting at them, mouth open a little, skin flushed and the hint of a prickle of sweat at his hair line.

Well if that isn’t going to encourage Eddie, nothing’s gonna’.

He sits down again sharply, and Steve can’t hold it in any more, he moans, eye’s sliding shut and then popping open again, like he doesn’t want to miss the show. And, well, if there’s one thing Eddie knows, it’s how to put on a show.

He shifts again, more confident now, tucking his shins closer to Steve’s thighs so he can move more comfortably, he rests one hand at the back of Steve’s neck, leaning in for the kiss and he lifts himself back up. There’s that zing again, that little pop of pleasure that has Eddie huffing a noise into Steve’s mouth.

Eddie’s rhythm is probably pretty slow, and he’s maybe working the end two thirds of Steve’s dick, but it’s just the right place to touch on his prostate on every pass. It’s just the right amount of slippy drag on his hole. The condom is smooth, but Eddie finds himself wanting it gone, he pulls back a tiny bit, watches as Steve licks his lips, Steve’s fingers tightening briefly on Eddie’s hips, “we're going to loose the condoms at some point, right?”

“Yup. Yeah. Lets do that. Get tested.”

Eddie hasn’t been with anyone since he was at the center, he hasn’t been with anyone since he was last tested for everything. But he doesn’t know about Steve, and quite frankly, he doesn’t want to ask if Steve’s been with anyone in that time.

It’s not his business, and it feels like the answers going to hurt either way. Eddie puts it out of his mind.

Eddie just crashes his mouth back against Steve’s instead. Steve’s fingers slip to Eddie’s dick; he’s grown hard again at some point, probably those little touches of pleasure he’s been feeling. Steve’s fingers go straight for the base, following the rise and fall of Eddie’s body easily, he massages at the sensitive skin Eddie’s knot will pop from, Steve’s sure fingers encouraging it.

Eddie might be exercising more, but the burn in his thighs is getting pretty real. He doesn’t stop though, taking panting breaths against Steve’s mouth since he doesn’t have the air for real kisses any more. The pleasure helps, gives him something to work for, the feeling of being full of Steve, that little wave of pleasure every time Eddie moves, Steve’s two fingers and thumb, gripping Eddie tight now at the base of his dick, pulsing pressure there right on Eddie’s growing knot.

Eddie looks down; the head of his cock is red, leaking precome all over Steve’s skin. Another fat drop pools in his slit for a second, before a squeeze from Steve’s fingers has his cock twitching and it slides off the end to splat on Steve’s stomach.

“I’m gonna’ come,” Eddie breathes, Steve just makes a noise in answer, and then keeps making it, huffing little noises of pleasure. His head is thrown back, long line of his throat completely exposed to Eddie as Eddie rides his pulsing cock. It’s different, there’s no intense wash of scent with a beta orgasm, no splash of slick or knot to go on. Just Steve, huffing through his orgasm.

Eddie’s knot pops in the tight band of Steve’s fingers and Eddie bites softly at Steve’s shoulder, because god he fucking needs something in his mouth. Needs the feel of Steve between his teeth, and it takes all of his control to keep it light.

Well, it might bruise a little.

Eddie’s orgasm is a pulsing, live thing, his body squeezing and clutching at Steve’s cock desperately. Steve hasn’t even touched the head of his dick, just keeps firm pressure on Eddie’s knot until the final, weak spurts of come drip off the head of his dick.

Eddie sighs, lapping at Steve’s shoulder, relaxing a little.

And then Steve squeezes. Eddie cries out, mouthful of Steve’s flesh, body clenching so hard it pushes Steve’s now softening cock out of his body, making him whine and wriggle on nothing. Another thick spurt of come splatters Steve’s already messy stomach, and Eddie’s left a panting mess in Steve's lap.

“Jesus,” he finally croaks out, body still twitching with the aftershocks of his orgasm, his cock resting in it’s own mess against Steve. It must be a little awkward, but Steve still hasn’t let up the even pressure on his knot, and Eddie settles into the feeling of connection, Steve’s salty sweat addictive on his tongue.

The nice thing about this having sex and being a couple and all that good stuff, is that now Steve is in the bath with Eddie while he washes his hair. Eddie’s glad he went for the silly sized bath really, Steve can comfortably sit behind him, Eddie cradled between Steve’s thick thighs.

Once he’s all washed and rinsed, he lies back, both of them spread out, Steve’s soft cock pressing against the small of Eddie’s back, “how did you know?”

Steve makes an inquiring noise. He sounds sleepy, and Eddie almost feels bad for disturbing him, but it feels important.

“How did you decide I was ready now?”

Steve yawns, “told you, I saw the interview.”

Eddie turns in the water, repositioning so he’s laid out on top of Steve, facing each other. Can’t really resist giving their cocks a little rub together while he’s there, making Steve huff, “yeah, but what about the interview?”

“Oh. Oh, you were helping people. That was...it was kind of the last conclusion I came to, when I was...you know, recovering. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to stay okay if I didn’t...have purpose. If I didn’t do something that felt important. Helping people was...it got me through everything, at the end. Kept me...once I started helping, I knew I’d never go back. Not ever. I knew you’d released the album, and what it was for...obviously I bought a copy, so I was...thinking about it a lot then. Listened to the album a bunch of times...and then I saw you talking about it...and I just knew. I knew it would be okay if I tried.”

“What if I hadn’t called?”

Steve shrugs, “then you didn’t. I’d have...been sad about it, you know but...we’ve got to do the best thing for ourselves, and I had to trust you to know what that was. So I would have taken your answer, no matter what that was,” Steve kisses Eddie’s forehead, “I was just happy for you.”

Eddie nods. Pressing his cheek against the damp hair of Steve’s chest, Eddie rests.

#steddie #pre steddie #rock star eddie munson #drug abuse #alcohlism #eddie munson #stranger things #steve harrington #ficlet #chrissy cunningham #eddie and chrissy #alpha eddie munson #beta steve harrington

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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago

Note

There is no law that prevents a convicted felon from running for and becoming president, nor a law that bans someone from being president in prison. Also, if Trump gets incapacitated in someway, many ultra right republicans who equally despise trans people and immigrants and Muslims would happily take his place

And I ask, with all due respect, what is your point?

Do you think I don't know that?

Do you think I am somehow convinced that everything is hunky dory now and we don't have any work left to do?

Are you just determined to be the first of the gloom-and-doomers who show up like clockwork in my inbox, every time some consequence happens to Trump, to morosely insist that no consequences will happen to him? First it was "he'll win re-election." Then it was "the coup will succeed." Then it was "he will never be indicted." Then it was "2022 will be a red wave!" Then it was "he will never be tried." Then it was "he will never be convicted." Now we've moved on, within less than 2 hours of the first US President ever to be convicted of ONE felony, let alone THIRTY-FOUR, "he'll never be sentenced or face a real consequence or lose the election." The goalposts keep moving RIGHT along without even a single pause to acknowledge the difficulty and the value of the progress we have made thus far, and it makes me CRAZY.

Do you people realize how fucking rare it is, both in the world today and historically, for a former (and would-be future) head of state to be held to criminal account by a jury of 12 anonymous ordinary citizens? When that one person, Trump, is the center of the malignant fascist cancer that has spread through this country ever since 2016, and plenty of his cultists are still insisting that it's Trump or nobody for them? When we've actually reached the stage of holding him legally accountable for (some of) his crimes for the first time in his miserable misbegotten life? I suspect that most of you are so deep in the "America is totally broken and the system is useless and we can only Revolute!!!1" rabbit hole that you're bound and determined to argue away every step we take, however slow, as Meaning Nothing TM. Voting? Fake. Fighting to make real progress? Also fake. Everything is fake except our belief that everything is broken and we need the Keyboard Warrior Glorious Revolution!!! As long as you can keep inventing ever more contorted twists of logic to ignore everything else that's happened so far, this makes sense... or something. I guess?

Now we're onto "removing Trump won't matter :(" when a whole lot of people have been fighting day and fucking night to get all the privileged-princess Online Leftists to get off their Che Guevara cosplaying asses and cast a single fucking vote to keep us from full-on-sliding into fascism. A slide into fascism that, again, has been spearheaded and centered around Trump's toxic cult of personality and which is still tied to him in almost every way. Apparently holding him to account (again, which has never happened to him in his life) already doesn't matter because wah wah he won't suffer any consequences. If he loses this election he's probably going to jail for the rest of his life! We would have electorally defeated the greatest threat to the American democratic experiment in 250 years, and frankly a huge part of the fascist far-right hydra that is currently attempting a comeback around the world! This is, yet again:

THE FIRST TIME ANY AMERICAN PRESIDENT, EVER, HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF MULTIPLE FELONY CHARGES IN A COURT OF LAW BY A JURY OF HIS PEERS

and yet we're still hearing that nothing matters and no work has been done and removing him will have no effect???

Come on. Come on. I know it's tiring and it's slow and it doesn't go as fast as we want. But every single damn time the process goes another step, here you people are in my inbox insisting that we're still at zero progress and it means nothing, and lemme tell you, I am Tired of it. Come on. You don't have to jump up and down (my own feeling is glee and vindication but still not relaxation, I will not relax until he loses the fucking election and goes to jail), but you also don't need to keep myopically pretending that all the effort thus far by so many people means nothing. Come on.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #the giant orange monster

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thelegend2t · 6 months ago

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BFDI Theory: The Unluckiest Number

Or story starts the video "X Finds Out His Value" at 3:27

Four and X have just figured out that X's value is 7, leading them and Seven to have a little dance party sort of thing. But after X proudly proclaims his value, 7, Four adds that "It's lucky too!"

And we get some less than happy faces from the peanut gallery. One and Three standing beside each other to form the infamous unlucky number 13. In fact, 13 is kind of an interesting number when it comes to Algebraliens.

This is the BFDI Wiki's list of every Algebralien (That is a rational number), notice anything? That's right! 13 isn't there! And this list doesn't leave any number out if it can help it. Eleven, Twelve and Sixteen have never had any significant role in any skit or episode. Thirteen is missing from the official roster of numbers.

Also as a "Sans is a near anagram for Ness" level detail: TPOT 13 is when One herself says "Entree over. Now onto the main course." and as the line suggests, is when One picks up the pace in terms of intervening in TPOT.

I believe that the number 13 is not just unlucky in a superstitious sense, but also if any Algebralien were to become Thirteen the result would be catastrophic, bringing bad luck wherever they went. And that's exactly what One and Three did.

In the first episode of TPOT Winner asks, on the topic of prime numbers, "Are those, like, illegal where you're from?". And while they're obviously not this could be foreshadowing that there is a specific prime number that IS illegal, due to, y'know, bad-luck related catastrophe.

I don't just believe this explains why there's no Thirteen, but I also believe this is why One and Three are where they are.

In the video "Thanks for 2,000,000 Subscribers!" we get a good look at the law enforcement system on Algebralien society, mainly that there is none. There are no police, possibly no government. Any sort of jail sentence or punishment for crime is carried out by the community as a whole. We see this with Fourteens punishment, he's not arrested by police, he's apprehended by his neighbors who seem to hold no special status of any kind.

Now, if we put our heads together maybe we can think of any Algebraliens that are locked in a cell, presumably, by other Algebraliens. I think at one point both One and Three were kept in cells, but as of now only Three remains imprisoned.

Many have speculated that Three closing their own cell is telling that they wish to finish their sentence due to the guilt of their actions, and I agree, and I think those actions were them being one half of the duo known as Thirteen. (One half of 13 is 3, you heard it here first folks!.)

But One is a lot more bold. They're not content with being held down or people having more power than them. Being a part of Thirteen came with it this great power which they wish to return to. And besides, as long as someone is staffing their jail cell, that's just one more person to manipulate.

But who did she manipulate? The answer may surprise you, but it also may not, I don't know how many people actually watched the subscriber milestone videos.

In the video "Thanks for 1,000,000 subscribers!" at 7:50, we see Seven say this:

Seven considers One to be their BFF, presumably standing for "Best Friend Forever". Now, Seven as a character has been consistently portrayed as having no friends at all. In the song "Counting on Christmas" sung by the Algebraliens, Seven explicitly states that they "really, really, really want some friends".

Seven is sort of the black sheep of the community, though still, they ARE part of the community. As such, they are also part of the group that decides who is to be in jail, and who is to be free. And if all it takes is the promise of friendship then One escaping that cell was well within her range of capabilities. Who knows, maybe the friendship was in some way genuine, but the end result is the same, Seven let One free and even now sees nothing wrong with their friendship.

So that leaves us with this. One is actively trying to free Three, but Three is still patiently waiting in their cell for their lawful sentence to expire. Which... is kinda what everyone has been saying already, yeah, I'm not exactly the first to theorize that One is trying to free Three. What I am doing however, is laying out how I believe all these puzzle pieces fit together.

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felassan · 1 year ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 2

[Link to Part 1]

Post is under a cut due to length.

There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user’s post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and played the game. nb, this post is more of a ‘info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts’ collection rather than a 'regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal’ post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this.

Character Creation

It is the best CC BioWare has ever made in a game [source]

The faction we choose will determine who we as protagonist Rook were before they were recruited to put a stop to Solas [source]

Certain conversation options are only available to Rooks of certain factions. For example, Grey Wardens get conversation options that are focused on the Blight, as they know more about it from other people. It also impacts how people talk to Rook (reactivity from characters and then faction reactivity from plots relating to that faction) [source]

Faction choice affects a lot of things [source]

There aren't unique missions (I think this means like the playable Origins in DA:O), but faction choice does set the course for Rook for the rest of the game [source]

"body customization and morphing. From more muscular characters, to curvier builds, and just about any shape you want to give your character, there are all sorts of toggles to adjust so you can give them any figure you want". "There's even features that let you choose proportions, so you can alter their height, give them wider shoulders, and much more" [source]

There are makeup options [source]

There are tattoo options [source]

The hair uses a "Strand system" to "make them behave and move in a believable way for the different races" [source]. (Fel note/speculation: I think "race" here refers to irl, as opposed to like human vs qunari or something, as the language they are using for human/elf/dwarf/qunari is "Lineage")

There are 4 voices to choose from for Rook: two feminine and tow masculine (one American, one British for each) [source]

In CC, 'Lineage' is the game's parlance for race i.e. human, elf, dwarf, qunari [source]

We can pick Rook's name, but the dialogue calls them 'Rook' [source]

In CC we can "make a few key decisions that will impact how The Veilguard begins" [source]

"I really do think its our most feature-ful character creator ever." [source]

Story and lore

In the opening segment of the game (see more on the story's opening moments here), we're too late and Solas' ritual worsens, so Rook and the companions go to stop him. When travelling to the next location (Arlathan Forest) in the chase after Solas, the characters travel through an eluvian [source]. The Forest is where his ritual is taking place. Varric then asks the player if he should confront Solas, and players then work to take down the surrounding statues in order to stop the ritual. "I won’t spoil what happens next, but I’ll just say the player and Veilguard have a tall task ahead of them if they want to save Thedas." [source]

Four of the 6 faction options for Rook (Mourn Watch, Lords of Fortune, Veil Jumpers, Shadow Dragons) are "rooted in northern Thedas" [source]

There aren't unique missions (I think this means like the playable Origins in DA:O), but faction choice does set the course for Rook for the rest of the game [source]

A line of dialogue Dorian had at the Winter Palace in DA:I about what Tevinter is like informed the devs' approach to bringing to life the setting of Tevinter: ""There's a line in Dragon Age Inquisition that we always like to call back to," Epler says. "Dorian goes to the Winter Palace, which, up to that point, is probably the most impressive thing you've seen [as the Inquisitor], and [he] says something like, 'Oh, this is cute.' And we had to ask, what does it look like? What is Tevinter if Dorian sees that [the Winter Palace] and thinks that?"" [source]

The fact that Minrathous used to be the land of the elves was factored into the location's design. John Epler: "You can see the architecture has changed. It's become a lot more elven focused. And something that we've kind of hinted at, but we've never really shown explicitly, is the idea that Tevinter is built on the bones of the ancient elven empire. Tevinter itself, Minrathous itself, all the magic you see, that's just a pale imitation of what the elves are capable of. So you'll start to see as you get deeper into the game, the elves, for example, worked Lyrium into their building materials. Tevinter can't quite figure out how to do that. So instead, you'll see more gold and gems, kind of imitating it, but not ever quite approaching what the elves are able to do, and really creating that continuity of the space. Obviously, Solas isn't too thrilled that this world is the way it is, because he lived in a time of miracles and magic, and even the most magical place in Thedas isn't magic like the elven people used to be able to do" [source]

At the end of the opening portion of the game there is a "jaw-dropping title card cliffhanger" [source]

On the opening sequence: ""One of the things we wanted to do with this game is make the prolog feel like the final mission of a different game," John Epler says. "We really needed to get the stakes, the spectacle, right off the bat. Obviously, players who had been waiting to confront Solas have been waiting for just this moment."" [source]

Each companion has their own storyline that runs parallel to the main story [source]

You cannot succeed without the companions. Each of them has a reason why they need to be part of your party, why they need to help you stop the end of the world [source]

All 7 companions are recruited in the game's first act [source]

The firey demon looking guys shown near the start of the Gameplay Reveal are Rage Demons. Demons in general got a revamp in this game "to more closely align their look", this can be seen with the shades and the Pride demons as well. "they’re creatures of emotion so they have a spectral nervous system look" [source]

The Pride demon the group fight at the Solas face-off in the Gameplay Reveal video "was more a direct tie to Solas than anything else, but it didn't escape us how much it echoed the beginning of DA:I". they wanted to show the stakes and the scale of Solas' power [source]

Characters, companions, romance

Harding was one of the earliest characters that the devs wanted to bring into DA4, because she was such a fan favorite. She is this game's 'traditional returning' character [source]

Each character's romance flavor or style is different. They don't want every character for the romance to feel the same. They want everyone to have their own flavor that's appropriate to them as a character [source] [two]

"We found as we were building a story, more than ever before, it's a story about the people around you; a story about building this team, and working with them." [source]

Each companion has their own storyline that runs parallel to the main story [source]

You cannot succeed without the companions. Each of them has a reason why they need to be part of your party, why they need to help you stop the end of the world [source]

All companions are pansexual (specifically pansexual, not playersexual) [source]

Their pansexuality may come through in what we learn about their backstories [source]

No companion romance is race-locked [source]

Companions reference their past experiences or partners, and they reference who they'll become romantic with. [source]

If you don't romance a character, they may find a different partner for themselves. This could be within the companion roster itself or outside of it in the broader world. [source] For example, if the player does not romance Harding, she may get together with Taash [source]

The game is rated M [source]

The game contains nudity [source]

We can start flirting with the companions pretty early [source]

All 7 companions are recruited in the game's first act [source]

It is not until later parts of the game that you really commit to romance and things get pretty spicy [source]

The nudity, spicy things etc is more towards the end of the game [source]

The devs want the companions to be relatable and fully realized. So things get spicy, but in a more relatable way for people than e.g. some of the more shocking and comical scenes of this nature in Baldur's Gate 3 [source]

How sexually explicit the scenes are varies between characters. Some are more spicy than others. They have diverse personalities like in real life. "Some of them are more physical, more aggressive, and some of them are more... we have a gentleman necromancer [Emmrich], for instance, that is more intimate and sensual." [source] "some characters may be a little more steamy while some characters maybe a little bit more innocent" [source]

The romance and relationship system is more fleshed out than in previous BioWare games. A character's romance will be better woven into their personal story arc and into their involvement in the core questline of the game [source]

"BioWare has also worked to ensure that getting to know your characters as friends feels just as satisfying - and that just because you're not banging your buddy, their (platonic) relationship with you will still continue." ""One of the things we tried to do with The Veilguard is it's not just romantic relationship building," Epler continued. "You need to get to know a person before you can really build that kind of relationship with them, and if you choose not to build a [romantic] relationship, we never want to feel like you're being cut off. There's no 'okay, well, their arc isn't progressing, I'm done'." We want to make sure the non-romantic relationships are deep as well, with friendships not just for companions and yourself, but also between companions across the party."" [source]

GDL reprises his role as Solas [source]

Gameplay, presentation, performance etc

The game has a photo mode [source]

Combat is fast-paced [source]

If you pause the game using the ability wheel you can scan enemies to learn more information about them [source]

Each of the 3 main classes is distinguished by how it generates and spends energy for abilities [source]

Each of the 3 subclasses for each 3 main class promise to offer some meaningful distinctions from each other [source]

for this, rogues have momentum. You build momentum by attacking, by dodging, by parrying, and you lose it by being hit, so there's really a focus with rogues on avoiding damage, avoiding attacks. They build momentum quickly, but they lose it quickly. Warriors have rage, which they build a little bit more slowly, but they don't lose [source]

Attacks can be cancelled [source]

Regarding enemy weaknesses, some of these are elemental. In other cases their defenses are more vulnerable to specific types of abilities [source]

Combat seems to be a matter of managing our abilities as best we can to whittle down enemy defenses and take advantage of their weaknesses [source]

Over the course of the game we get access to three abilities per companion as well as an additional two abilities we can slot, and an additional ability that coms off of items that the devs will not talk about for now [source]

Fully offline single player, no EA account linking, no micro-transactions [source]

The game uses advanced rendering tech in Frostbite, nice subsurface scattering, high quality meshes, while having a striking pseudo-painterly look [source]

There are blood spatters in the game [source]

Production values on the game have gone through the roof. It looks like a big improvement on what came before [source]

On the music: "lots of foreboding tunes mixed with epic flair" [source]

Good voice acting, great facial animations, good hair tech, busy-looking environments and worlds [source]

It's not open world. "There are open areas you can explore around in, but it's mostly structured/mission based, sort of like Mass Effect." [source]

There are difficulty options [source]

They will talk about PC spec stuff at a later time [source]

There is probably an option to see damage numbers [source]

There are many reasons why the game is M-rated [source]

There are lots of abilities, with 3 swapped in on the wheel at any one time [source]

There are a bunch of accessibility options and they will talk about these soon [source]

The ability wheel gives you flexibility to enhance your playstyle. If you don't want to use it at all, you don't have to and that's no issue as shortcuts are available [source]

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #solas #lgbtq+#mass effect #pls remember if you are following me you should be 18+ ^^

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scary-grace · 2 months ago

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certain stars (part 2) - a Shigaraki x reader fic

Nothing in your training prepared you for this: A deadly virus that burnt through Space Station Ultra, leaving only two survivors -- you, and Mission Specialist Shigaraki, trapped together in the command module. With time, food, and life-support running out, you have a choice about how you'll spend your final hours. You just wish you had any idea what you're supposed to do.

This is for @shigarakislaughter (happy birthday!) who asked for a forced-proximity roommates to lovers situation. Being me, I had to make it weird, and being one of my fics, it had to get away from me. Part 1 can be found here! Shigaraki x reader, rated M, space station au, angst + suggestive content. dividers by @cafekitsune.

part 1

You’ve been on the line with Mission Control for four hours, in a conversation that includes you only tangentially, and your eyes are starting to blur. This plan to save your life and Shigaraki’s without carrying the virus back to Earth was your idea. You have to be here to advocate for it, to address any questions Control might have, to find a way around any problems that might arise. You’re the pilot in command. It’s your job to get yourself and the last remaining member of your crew home.

But you’re so tired. It’s all you can do to write down the figures that are being named, calculating trajectories and fuel burns by hand to fact-check Mission Control’s results. It’s hard to do when they still haven’t decided if it’s safe for you and Shigaraki to return to Earth. The suspense would be killing you if you had any adrenaline left to spare.

As Mission Control continues to debate, no one willing to come right out and say that they’re not sure it’s a good idea to bring you back, Shigaraki slips into the seat beside you. You sent him into the shuttle with step-by-step instructions for running a full diagnostic, and he slides the results across the desk to you. You study them, the numbers difficult to read until you squeeze your eyes shut and open them again. Then you tap your mic and interrupt one of the flight director’s proteges in the middle of a soliloquy about reentry speed. “I have the shuttle diagnostics. All systems are operational.”

“What about the heat shield?”

That’s a sticking point. One of many. “Protocol is to do a visual inspection, but we can’t risk a spacewalk. Is there any way we can get a satellite view?”

You hear paper rustling, then a thud. It’s all too easy to picture one of the ensigns getting up in a hurry, tripping over themselves, and falling flat on their face before beelining to the comms center. “We’re investigating the prospect,” Director Sasaki says. “Every participating nation has offered their help, as have several non-participants and several corporate entities. If they elect to put their money where their mouths are, we should be able to give you multiple views of the heat shield.”

You nod, then remember they can’t see you. “Can someone check a compromise rate?”

“The compromise rate depends on your reentry angle,” the flight director says. You think her name’s Tatsuma. You’ve only met her once. “And your reentry angle depends on your landing site.”

“Which hasn’t been decided yet,” Shigaraki says, into your microphone, “because you jag-offs can’t make up your minds about whether we’re coming back at all.”

“Get your own headset,” you hiss, shooing him away. “Mission Specialist Shigaraki has a point. All of this is theoretical unless it’s safe to come home.”

“We told you that already,” Director Todoroki snaps. You roll your eyes. “Were you listening?”

You were probably trying to do math. You rub your eyes, and Shigaraki speaks into your mic again. “I didn’t hear it.”

Director Todoroki heaves a big, nasty sigh, and Director Bate, the current head of the space station program, speaks up. “Based on the data your crew collected, the virus thrives in the same conditions humans do. Extreme cold renders it inert, while extreme heat destroys it. The heat from reentry should cook that thing right off the exterior of the shuttle. Your return to Earth should be safe, as long as you land in the right place.”

“Only two concerns remain,” Director Sasaki says. “First, whether the damage your plan to purge the virus from Station Ultra will cause is worth the reward –”

You appreciate him giving it to you straight. “And secondly, whether the likely expulsion of your deceased crewmates’ bodies into space is an acceptable result.”

“Yeah,” you say. You’re too tired to stick to formal speech. “I thought that might be it.”

Your plan to clear Station Ultra of the virus involves blowing the airlocks on each of the infected modules, which will suck the virus back out into space, where it’ll go back to hibernating. It’ll work, but it’s likely to take the bodies of the crew with it. And the space program’s unofficial and unstated policy has always been to bring all the crewmembers home, dead or alive.

“Um –” Someone in Mission Control clears their throat. “I feel terrible saying this, but we can’t bring their bodies home. They died of the virus. They’re probably still carrying it. Asking the pilot and mission specialist to retrieve them is an unacceptable risk, and we can’t risk live virus entering the atmosphere.”

Someone protests. Dr. Shield, maybe – Dr. Shield, whose daughter died in the lab module, conducting research on the virus right up until it killed her. Director Tatsuma waits for him to finish, then speaks up. “The flight academy prepares its graduates for this. They are aware that this is the likely scenario if they should die outside the atmosphere.”

“The astronauts, sure. The mission specialists have families,” someone argues. You don’t know that voice. Your head hurts. “What are we supposed to tell them? That we just launched their loved ones’ corpses into space?”

“Yeah.” Shigaraki’s finally put on his headset. “Everybody who died here was a better person than me, and if I died up here, I wouldn’t care what the survivors did with my body.”

It’s quiet for a second. “Unless they wanted to eat it.”

You feel insane, hysterical laughter bubbling in the back of your throat and swallow it down. “I think you should ask the mission specialists’ families,” you say. “It’s their loved ones up here. Tell them what we’re up against and ask them what they want to do.”

“That’s unwise,” Director Sasaki says. There’s a pause. “We will reach out to them. Continue your preflight preparations, and we’ll contact you when a full protocol has been devised.”

The call drops, and you take off your headset. It doesn’t make your head hurt any less, but you’ll give it time. Next to you, Shigaraki does the same. “How long do you think it’ll take them to tell us no?”

You knew your crewmates, astronauts and mission specialists both. You met their families. You’re not convinced it’ll be a yes, but you’re not sure it’ll be a no, either. And there’s one crewmember you haven’t known long enough to make a guess. “Would you really be okay with your body being shot out into space?”

“Sure. Not like anybody’s waiting for it at home.” Shigaraki shrugs. “If you were starving, you could eat my corpse.”

This time, you don’t have to suppress your laughter. “Just me, though?”

“What, do you want to share or something?”

“No,” you say. You glance at him, noting the way-too-prominent bruise on his neck, remembering that there’s one just like it on his shoulder. He seemed into it, and you were into his reaction, so you went a little overboard. “I’m not good at sharing.”

Shigaraki’s pale enough that even the faint flush in his cheeks is as obvious as a neon sign. “Don’t act possessive. You only hooked up with me because we’re going to die soon.”

There’s a lot to address there, and you’re too tired to do it delicately. “We’re not going to die soon. I’ll find a way to get you home. I didn’t think you liked me. I only hooked up with you because I thought we were about to die. If we weren’t about to die we’d have gone on dates first.”

Shigaraki is staring at you now, eyes wide. Did you even speak a recognizable language, or were you just mumbling to yourself about nothing? You really don’t want to have to say it all again. You look away from him, even though it’s hard to do, and look down at your sheet of calculations. You can barely read them. You find a new piece of paper and start copying them down again. “What is that?” Shigaraki asks, peering over your shoulder as you rewrite equation after equation. “I thought we didn’t have a trajectory yet.”

“We don’t. But the basic reentry calculations were made assuming that the shuttle is at capacity, and it’s – not.” Not even close. “We’ll be coming down light. That changes things.”

“Huh.” Shigaraki’s chin comes to rest over your shoulder. “Why are you doing it by hand?”

“That was how they used to do everything,” you say. “Back in the early days. But the academy still teaches it, in case we lose contact with Mission Control or the onboard computer goes down. They don’t want us to be totally helpless without it.”

“Huh,” Shigaraki says again. “That’s a lot of physics for a bunch of meatheads.”

“Yeah. Almost like we aren’t meatheads after all.” You copy out the last equations, then elbow Shigaraki until he straightens up. “Check these for me, okay?”

“You don’t trust your calculations?”

“I can barely see straight,” you say. Shigaraki blinks. “I haven’t slept more than an hour or two at a stretch since this started, and this isn’t the kind of thing where mistakes are survivable. You’re an actual physicist. Just look at them.”

“Sure.” Shigaraki flips over the shuttle diagnostic and starts writing on the back.

You fold your arms on the console and rest your head on them, watching him work. You like seeing him locked in on something, even if you wish he’d stop scratching his neck with his free hand, and you wonder what his research profile looks like. What he works on when he’s not getting tossed into a shuttle he doesn’t want to be on. He must be in a lab or something. Or have his own. So –

Something occurs to you. “Should I have been calling you Dr. Shigaraki this whole time? Some people get mad about their titles not being used.”

“Some people are assholes,” Shigaraki says matter-of-factly. “I might be an asshole, but I’m not that kind of asshole.”

He frowns at something he’s just written. “Show me your first set of calculations.” You hand it over, and he identifies the mistake in seconds. “You rewrote it wrong on this page. With this reentry velocity we’d bounce right off the atmosphere.”

“This is why you needed to check it.”

“You got it right the first time,” Shigaraki says. His hand falls from the side of his neck to rest on the console, then edges out into the space between the two of you. You spend a little too long looking before it occurs to you to touch.

A green light starts blinking on the console, indicating a call from Control. You yank your hand away from Shigaraki’s and pull your headset on. “Yes?”

“The families of the mission specialists agreed to your plan,” Director Sasaki says, and exhaustion sweeps over you. Shigaraki is looking at you questioningly. You give a thumbs-up. “However, they requested some sort of commemoration before the airlocks are blown.”

You’ll think of something. “Understood. I’ve adjusted the reentry calculations to account for the lighter payload. Dr. Shigaraki is checking my work as we speak.”

Dr. Shigaraki is also rolling his eyes, but you don’t need to mention that. “We’ve developed a launch protocol,” Sasaki informs you, “which should account for a lighter payload. We also have identified a landing site for you, one which will render any surviving virus inert.”

“Yes,” Director Tatsuma says. “You’ll be aiming for the Ross Ice Shelf.”

You haven’t touched the airlocks, but it still feels like every iota of breathable air has just been sucked out of your lungs. “The – what?”

“A cold environment with little for the virus to feed on, in the unlikely event that any of it is left after reentry,” Sasaki says. “Rest assured, you will have plenty of runway. Do you have any questions?”

You can’t even get your mind around the thought. It feels unreal, like you’ve stumbled through a funhouse mirror into some other reality. Director Sasaki takes your silence for agreement and moves on. “We’ll plan to launch in six hours. In that time you will need to initiate a complete data transfer – everything from Station Ultra, in order to allow for proper diagnostics. Begin the procedure by –”

“I’ll do it.” Shigaraki cuts Director Sasaki off. He looks at you. “You’re going to sleep.”

You look at him blankly. Sasaki’s voice takes on a sharp edge. “The procedure is supposed to be completed by the commanding officer.”

“Yeah. Only you want the commanding officer to land the shuttle on an ice sheet in fucking Antarctica in six hours,” Shigaraki says. “The commanding officer’s going to rest until then. I’ll do your data transfer.”

It’s quiet for a second. “You will need to write this down.”

“I need to get a pen.” Shigaraki takes off his headset, takes off yours, and pulls you away from the console, back to the pile of blankets. “Why didn’t you say you weren’t sleeping when it was your turn?”

“You were having a hard time sleeping, too. It didn’t –” You break off as Shigaraki half-lifts you off your feet, then sets you down on the blankets. “I thought you hated zero gravity.”

“It has one or two perks.” Shigaraki pulls the blankets roughly over you, then fumbles in his flightsuit pocket. “Here.”

You find yourself looking at an old-style MP3 player, headphones already plugged in. You tuck one of them into your ear, and Shigaraki presses play. “What am I listening to?”

“The music,” Shigaraki says. You blink at him. “Musica universalis, on a loop. It helps me sleep.

You hear the first of the high, clear notes, reverberating off into infinity, and hide a yawn. “That’s not very restful.”

“It doesn’t need to be restful. It just needs to keep you calm.” Shigaraki tucks the other headphone into your ear without asking first, his roughened fingertips oddly gentle. “That’s what it sounds like in interstellar space. You’d hear it on your trip to Alpha Centauri and back.”

Your throat tightens, even as your eyelids grow heavy. “Get some sleep,” Shigaraki says. You catch his hand as he straightens up, holding on tight, wishing you knew what to say to him. Like you did when they told you about the landing site, you come up empty. The best you can do is give one more squeeze and let go, before you turn your head against a makeshift pillow that smells like him and fall asleep, the sound of space humming in your ears.

You settle into the shuttle’s cockpit, wrapping your gloved hands around the controls and watching the console come to life. You’ve piloted a shuttle up to Station Ultra three times, but this will only be your second reentry, and it’ll be a hell of a reentry. For a split second, you allow it to fill your mind, oozing into every corner of your thoughts, sending shooting pains through your fingers. What they’re expecting you to do is impossible. It can’t be done.

And then you glance sideways, at Shigaraki strapped into the copilot’s seat. The instant the shuttle detaches from Station Ultra, his fate is out of his hands and firmly in yours. He looks scared enough on his own. He doesn’t need to see it from you, too.

You take a deep breath, then let it go. “Walk me through the preflight checklist.”

Mission Control is in Director Tatsuma’s hands at the moment. One of her proteges takes you through it, system by system – propulsion, shielding, navigation, life-support, everything coming up positive. The satellite photos of the heat shield revealed a few tiny abnormalities, nothing that should cause trouble. Then again, there shouldn’t be viruses floating around in space.

Something occurs to you, and in the middle of a stir of the oxygen tanks, you find yourself laughing. “What?” Shigaraki demands. “What’s funny?”

“The virus,” you say. Shigaraki looks at you like you’re out of your mind. “It’s an extraterrestrial. We found the first alien.”

“From a research perspective, this was a very fruitful trip,” one of the ensigns pipes up. “The first confirmed contact with alien life, the first recordings of Shigaraki phenomena –”

Shigaraki coughs. “Of what?”

“And the first loss of a space station, Ensign Hado. Read the room,” Director Sasaki says severely. “All systems are go. Were you able to come up with a commemoration to share as you depressurize the modules?”

“Um, High Flight is traditional,” you say. “But it’s religious, and not everybody’s religious, so – I have a different one. Should I use that?”

“Can you deliver it while completing the depressurization sequence?”

“Yes.”

“Then begin the sequence with Module Five.”

Module Five was the dormitory module. Five of your crewmates died there. You blow the airlock and speak. “We never know how high we are, til we are called to rise.” Module One is next. You avert your eyes. “And then, if we are true to plan, our statures touch the skies –”

You blow Modules Three and Four next, sending Station Ultra into a calculated spin. In the seat next to you, Shigaraki closes his eyes, his jaw clenched. “The heroism we recite,” you continue, blowing the airlock on Module Six, “would be a daily thing; did not ourselves the cubits warp –”

Module Two. “For fear to be a king.” You squeeze your eyes shut, thinking of your crew, dead in the atmosphere, lost to the void. How they kept fighting, kept studying, until the very end. “Depressurization sequence complete.”

“Detach.”

“Detaching in three – two – one.” You disengage the seal between the shuttle’s airlock and the command module, pitch the nose of the shuttle down, and let the stolen momentum from the station’s spin carry you down towards the atmosphere. “Departing high orbit. Any updates to the trajectory?”

“Not as yet, but owing to the uniqueness of the landing site, a pilot who had the opportunity to fly the route in the simulator will –”

“I’m gonna be sick,” Shigaraki mumbles.

You glance over at him and see him taking his helmet off. “If you don’t put that back on right now, I’m going to –”

“Trouble in paradise?” A familiar voice comes in over the intercom, and your frustration with Shigaraki takes an instant backseat. “Long time no see, airhead.”

“Not long enough, birdbrain,” you mutter, and Hawks chuckles into the mic. “Flew this in the simulator, did you?”

“Easy as pie, at least for me,” Hawks says. If you make it through this, you’re going to beat him to death with his helmet. “But don’t you worry, Dr. Shigaraki. You’re in good hands with Airhead here. Second in our class at the Flight Academy. Want to guess who was first?”

“We tied,” you snap, over the sound of Shigaraki gagging into an airsickness bag. Neither of you have enough food in your stomachs to really vomit. “You’re not first just because they called our names in alphabetical order. Do you want to talk shit or beta this trajectory?”

“We can talk shit when you land,” Hawks agrees. “Okay. Your current angle looks good. On the count of five, initiate a two-second burn from your starboard engine. Five – four – three – two – one –”

You trigger the burn, your grip on the controls as relaxed as you can make it, and the shuttle dips sideways. The flight roughens almost immediately, rattling the entire cockpit as you brush against the atmosphere, then skip off again. “Ooh, okay. It looks like you’re not in the atmosphere yet,” Hawks says. You can’t tell if he’s mimicking the flight simulator’s voice or not, but you’re still going to kill him when you get back. “Let’s do another burn – two seconds, both engines –”

The shuttle’s left wing dips into the atmosphere without being repelled, and you feel the lurch as gravity takes hold and pulls. “Autopilot will do the rest,” Hawks says. “Nice and easy.”

It’s not. The shuttle’s too light – too light for gravity to pull you the rest of the way in, and the longer you spend in the atmosphere, the more likely it is that something will go wrong with the heat shield. The cockpit is heating up way too fast. “I’m doing another burn. Both engines.”

“The autopilot said –”

“It’s not flying this mission,” you snap. There’s a reason shuttles aren’t flown completely on autopilot. Autopilot can’t adapt. “I am. If we stay in here any longer, the virus isn’t the only thing that’s going to cook. Burn in three – two – one –”

It works this time. The shuttle leaves space behind and plunges into the thermosphere, and the cockpit rattles and heats up, growing hotter and hotter with every nanosecond that passes. It’s killing the virus, you remind yourself. You’re in a shuttle with a heat shield, but the virus is clinging to the hull, and it’ll be destroyed. Reentry always feels like hell, anyway. Somehow it’s so much worse when you know you’re almost home.

Shigaraki’s got his helmet back on, finally. You can hear his ragged breathing over the comms. Is he conscious? “Stay with me, Shigaraki. This part is normal.”

“This part blows,” Shigaraki mumbles through clenched teeth. “Tomura.”

“Hmm?”

“My name is Tomura.” He’s slumping sideways in his chair, limp against the restraints, his speech slurring. “Call me that.”

“Okay, you got it. Tomura.” You feel a brief twinge of embarrassment that you didn’t think to ask his given name before you hooked up with him. “If I call you Tomura, are you going to stay awake? I really need you to stay awake. We’re going to lose comms with Mission Control in a second here and I don’t want to do this alone.”

Hawks chooses that moment to break in. “You were right about the burn, but you’re coming in way too fast. Hit the brakes.”

“I can’t do that. I need the parachutes for the landing.” You take your eyes off the windscreen for a split second to check your position on the map. “If I cut momentum right now, we won’t make it to the landing zone.”

“And if you don’t cut speed, you’ll pancake into the ice at Mach 10!”

“If I hit the water and there’s virus left on the hull, that’s it. For everyone!” You hate the way your voice pitches up, cracks. “I’m getting to Antarctica, Hawks. One way or another.”

Hawks starts to say something else, but the comms cut off in a static flatline, just like they’ve done at this point on every reentry you’ve flown. It’s the first normal thing that’s happened on this flight, and it hits you like a splash of cold water across the back of your neck. This is a reentry flight. You studied this at the academy. What does a pilot do on reentry to cut altitude and gradually reduce speed? There has to be something. Somewhere –

The answer occurs to you, in the same moment as Shigaraki stirs in his seat beside you. “Hey,” you say quickly, keeping your voice calm. “Welcome back.”

“Are we there yet?” Shigaraki’s voice blurs. “Is it over?”

“We’re through the atmosphere,” you admit, “but we’ve got a problem. I don’t know how much you heard, but –”

“Too fast.” Shigaraki sits up with an effort. His expression is grim through his helmet’s visor. “Either we crash into the ice and kill ourselves, or crash into the ocean and kill everybody else.”

“Or we land on the icesheet and everybody lives.” You reach for the control panel and start making the adjustments, ignoring the alarms that sound. “There’s a way to land this shuttle.”

“How?” Shigaraki’s hands clamp down tightly on the armrests. “If we were going to die anyway, we should have stayed up there.”

“Why?” you ask. You check your trajectory one last time, then kill the engines. “It wasn’t worth it to try to get home?”

“Maybe. Except –” Shigaraki peels one hand off the armrest and clamps it down over his mouth as you put the shuttle into a gentle bank. “Don’t ask. Tell me what you’re doing.”

“I need to cut our speed, but if I deploy the parachutes now, I won’t have them to slow us down during the actual landing. So I’m going to slow us down the old-fashioned way. Like a glider.” You can tell that none of what you’re saying makes sense to Shigaraki. You keep talking anyway, adjusting the controls to create a gentle turn. “In the academy they make us study all kinds of aviation accidents. There were a couple where the aircraft lost both engines and had to descend and land without them. One time a flight crew landed a plane on a river like that and everybody got out alive.”

You can tell Shigaraki’s getting nauseous. Then again, you’re flying the shuttle like you’re going down an endless set of switchbacks, trimming speed by fractions on each one. “You’re the physics guy. Tell me what will happen if I burn enough momentum on the descent.”

“If I open my mouth I’ll hurl.” Shigaraki speaks through clenched teeth. If you actually succeed in landing this thing, he’ll wind up with the worst tension headache in history. “You know what you’re doing. Keep talking.”

You keep talking, narrating your bizarre flight pattern as the shuttle travels around the world once, then again, spiraling down with painful slowness. If this was a normal flight, you’d have hit your landing site already, and space shuttles aren’t designed with long-term atmospheric flight in mind. But just because they aren’t designed for it doesn’t mean they’re incapable of it. You’re not putting this thing through any ridiculous maneuvers. Just curving gently down, one S-turn after another, letting physics and gravity take care of the rest. Pilots before you have done this and lived. Pilots after you will do it and survive, too. You just hope none of them have to do it in a shuttle.

When you drop out of the upper atmosphere, gentle flight goes out the window. You’re still coming down fast, and your landing site is approaching. One more trip around the world and you’ll be there, and if you don’t land then, you won’t have enough altitude to make another rotation. You bring the engines back gently, get ready to pull the brakes. “This is it,” you tell Shigaraki. You risk the smallest glance his way. He’s pale, his brow furrowed, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “I’ve got this. It’ll be okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” You check your speed and your stomach lurches. Mission Control had better have given you the longest runway in aviation history. You complete a final S-curve, as long and winding as possible, then line yourself up. “Deploying landing gear.”

The landing gear won’t survive contact with the ice, but you don’t need it to; you just need the extra drag it’ll provide. Brakes next, starting out slow, then pushing harder by the second as your airspeed indicators begin to drop. You don’t even want to think about how fast you’re descending. The ground rushes up to meet you, and the ground proximity alarm starts to sound. TERRAIN. TERRAIN. PULL UP. “I can see it,” you snap at nothing. “Shut up.”

You’re not slow enough yet. You deploy the parachutes while you’re still in the air, and all at once you’re wrestling with the controls, diverting all power to hydraulics in order to maintain a steady flight. ��Brace,” you order, like you’re a flight attendant on a plane that’s about to crash with no survivors. “Any second –”

The initial impact jars every bone in your body, and the next is just the same. The shuttle is acting like a skipping stone, touching down and bouncing up, and you already deployed the chutes. As if the bouncing’s not enough, every touchdown brings a series of jolts as the landing gear makes contact with the uneven terrain. You hit the brakes, pitch the nose of the shuttle ever so slightly up, and slam the back wheels down so hard that they crumple like a tin can.

Control’s going to kill you for how much damage you’re doing to the shuttle, but you can feel the drag reducing. Your skipping-stone maneuver devolves into a long skid across the ice, slowing by degrees, as you scan the horizon through the windscreen. No sign of the ocean. As far as you can see, there’s only ice.

Your console chimes, and you take a look at the indication. Hysterical laughter spills out of your mouth. “What?” Shigaraki asks. “Did we crash?”

“No,” you say, although you’re pretty sure the shuttle techs are going to disagree. “You’ll be interested to know that we’ve reached appropriate landing speed.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Shigaraki says, and you laugh harder. “We’re landing?”

“Landed,” you say. The shuttle bobs up once more, and you drop the nose down for a final time, planting it firmly into the ice. “Sorry. Now we’re landed.”

You cut the engines, open the comms channel to establish contact with Control, and start going through your post-flight checklist. Beside you, Shigaraki unbuckles his seat. “I’d stay down if I were you,” you say, knowing he won’t listen. “It’ll be just –”

He drapes himself over the back of your seat, his helmet knocking against yours. The move would startle you if you had any nerves left. As it is, you’re just bemused. “What are you doing?”

“If we died up there, we’d have died like this.” Shigaraki’s arms come up around you, holding on tight. “You’re not getting out of it just because we lived.”

“If that’s how it’s going to be, you owe me a date,” you say. You depressurize the cabin, taking off your helmet the instant there’s outside air to breathe. Shigaraki takes his off, then presses his face into the side of your neck in a way that makes your face heat up. “At least one.”

“That landing of yours took ten years off my life. You own me ten.”

Before you can argue back, the comms squawk to life. “This is Mission Control. Do you read?”

“We read, birdbrain,” you say, and Hawks laughs. You can hear cheering in the background, and you’ve been at Control during enough reentries to picture the scene perfectly. “You blew your landing site by a thousand kilometers, but we’ve got your position. Welcome back to Earth.”

“A drone is on its way to scan the hull for evidence of the virus,” Director Sasaki says into the microphone. “Once we’ve confirmed its absence, our extraction team will come to retrieve you.”

“In the meantime, sit tight,” Director Tatsuma says. There’s a pause. “Well done, Commander. That was quite a landing.”

“We made it,” you say. Your hands are shaking on the controls, and you pull them away. The instant they’re clear, Shigaraki grabs one, peeling it out of its glove. “That’s good enough.”

Tatsuma signs off, after instructing you to run a diagnostic and transmit the results, and you key in the command one-handed. Shigaraki’s got your other one pressed against his face. His skin is warm, his lips dry and cracked. His voice is muffled when he speaks. “I knew you could do it.”

“Yeah?” Your hand is shaking, no matter how you try to hold it still. Shigaraki presses it harder against his cheek. “How?”

“You promised.” Shigaraki’s voice is matter-of-fact, even if it’s rattling just as badly as yours. You give it a few more minutes before one or both of you goes into shock. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know.” There’s never been a mission like this in human history. You hope it never happens again. “Thanks for trusting me to get us home.”

This time, the pressure of Shigaraki’s mouth against your hand can’t be called anything but a kiss. “Any time.”

“I have good news, and I have news,” Yamada, the space program’s PR director, says from the other side of the glass. “Which one do you want first?”

You and Tomura glance at each other. “News,” you say, and Tomura’s grip on your hand tightens. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll start with the good news,” Yamada says, and Tomura rolls his eyes. “The good news is that you guys are cleared. You’re getting out of quarantine tonight, and there’s a hell of a welcoming party waiting for you. Your family’s here – and your friends, Dr. Shigaraki – and they’re hyped to see you.”

“Finally,” Tomura mutters. He won’t let you call him Dr. Shigaraki, or even just Shigaraki – it’s his name or nothing. “What’s the news?”

“The news is that there’s going to be press everywhere,” Yamada says, and sighs. “We’ve been beating them off with a stick, but we’ve been ordered to host a press conference, and they’re going to want to hear from you. I need to prep you for the kind of questions they’ll ask.”

“Go for it,” you say. Yamada grimaces. “What?”

“The media loves a narrative,” Yamada says. “The coverage of the Station Ultra disaster has been wall-to-wall for weeks, and so far, the only narrative they’ve been able to spin is a horror story. Which is what it is. It’s the worst loss of life in the history of spaceflight, and it was nothing anyone was prepared for. Things have been pretty dark. They want something else. And unfortunately, that something else is you.”

Tomura makes a face. You’re pretty sure you’re making the same one. “What does that mean?”

“If there’s anything redeemable about the mission, it’s attached to you two,” Yamada says. “The discovery of Shigaraki phenomena –”

“Stop calling it that,” Tomura says. “It sounds stupid.”

“It’s tradition, as far as I understand it. New stuff is named after the person who discovered it,” Yamada says. “There’s that, and then there’s that crazy landing the commander here pulled off. They’ve had pilots in simulators all around the world trying to copy that landing. Nobody’s been able to do it.”

“Because it was luck,” you say. Tomura elbows you. “It was. Any pilot will tell you that. I know how to fly, but I got lucky. All of this was us getting lucky.”

“We didn’t make it because we’re special or something,” Tomura says. “It could have been any of others, too.”

“I know,” Yamada says. “Everybody does, but nobody likes thinking about it. Like I said, they want their narrative, and they’re building it with or without you. You and me and everybody else in the program knows it was luck – mostly – but the media’s decided it was fate. The media likes a hero. The only thing they like better than a hero is a love story.”

“No,” you say at once. “They can’t make this about us. It’s not about us.”

“It’s not their fucking business,” Tomura says. “And they’re wrong about it.”

That’s news to you. “What?”

“It didn’t happen during the lockdown,” Tomura says. He’s glaring at Yamada through the glass at first. Then he looks to you. “I liked you before that. I was at the command module that night because I wanted to talk to you.”

His face always flushes awkwardly when he talks about his feelings, but he never backs off of it. It always gives you butterflies. “You still haven’t told me what you wanted to talk about. Are you going to?”

“I don’t need to,” Tomura says. “You already know.”

You smile in spite of yourself. Tomura’s eyes stay locked on yours, and you’re conscious of his hand in yours, his leg pressed against your own. You were in two separate chairs, but he dragged yours alongside his before you’d even sat down. On the other side of the glass, Yamada clears his throat. “You guys aren’t exactly beating the love story allegations here.”

Tomura’s face flushes worse than before. You look away with an effort. “What are they planning to ask about – us?”

“Like I said, they’ve already made up the story. They’ll just be looking for confirmation,” Yamada says. You grimace. “If you get a nosy one – I’ll try to avoid calling on those ones – they’ll ask you to elaborate. Don’t lie. The transcripts from the command module were made public, so they’ll call you out.”

Your stomach lurches. “Wait, all the transcripts?”

“No,” Yamada says. “You know the rules about documenting a mission. No filming in the bathroom, during a medical exam, or impromptu hookups in the command module. That got deleted on-sight. But there’s enough context in everything else for them to nail you two to the wall if you try to lie about it.”

The flush in Tomura’s face is slow to fade. “What else are they going to ask?”

“About what’s next for you two,” Yamada says. “If I were you, I’d work out an answer.”

He goes over the rest of the questions – lots of stuff about the mission for you, lots of stuff about his research for Tomura, things the two of you could talk about in your sleep. Then he leaves, and you and Tomura step away from the glass, retreating further into the quarantine unit. You’re still trying to catch up on sleep, so you climb back into the bed, which you haven’t made since the first time you turned it down. Tomura climbs in next to you without asking first.

Originally they were going to put you in separate quarantine units, but then they decided that they only wanted to risk contaminating one. It’s the size of a small apartment, ordinarily cramped for two, but compared to the command module it’s basically a penthouse. You and Tomura have all the space you could possibly need, if you wanted it. But you don’t.

You thought you and Tomura would be sick of each other after three weeks in close proximity, but the opposite’s happened. You feel better when you’re close to him, feel better knowing where he is, which works out pretty well with Tomura’s clinginess. You’ve felt okay here, with him. Not needing to go anywhere or do anything. Just being together, seeing what works, searching for something that doesn’t. So far, there’s nothing. There’s so much nothing that you’re dreading walking away.

He asked the question after you landed the shuttle, so it’s your turn now. “What happens now?”

“Press conference.”

“What about after that?” you ask. “If this is a thing, Tomura – you live in Japan. I live here.”

“Long-distance won’t work,” Tomura says, and your heart sinks. “I’ll move my lab.”

You roll over to stare at him, and Tomura looks back, like what he just said isn’t a little insane. “People are interested in my work. I’ve gotten formal offers from every research university with an astrophysics department. The offer from the one near here was pretty good. They aren’t even going to make me teach.”

“You don’t like teaching?” You fake surprise, and Tomura snorts. “If you’ve got offers from everywhere, you should go where you want to go. I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want us to hold each other back.”

“Sure.” Tomura shrugs. “But you’re going to be around here, too, aren’t you? They’re making you an instructor at the flight academy.”

You wince. “How did you find out?”

“Read your mail. It was open already.” Tomura shrugs again, and you shove him lightly. “I’ll move my lab. You’ll teach meatheads how to fly. It’ll be fine.”

“Your friends are in Japan –”

“And they work in my lab,” Tomura says. “If I move my lab, they’re coming, too.”

This is what you want. Exactly what you want. And it seems a little too easy. “Are you sure?” When he nods, you speak up again, your voice wavering. “How?”

“I thought we were dead up there. And I didn’t have a job to do like you did. So I had time to think about stuff while I was staring out into the void.” Tomura closes the distance between the two of you, crawling halfway on top of you and burrowing into your shoulder the way he does when he doesn’t want you to see his face. “The universe is so big that human minds can’t comprehend it, and the space between habitable worlds is enormous, and entropy’s ripping the whole thing apart – and there’s fuck all we can do about it. There’s always going to be fuck all we can do about it.”

This is why you never learned about astrophysics. “That’s dark.”

“No shit.” Tomura’s voice is muffled. “I realized that there was something I could do about it. Up there, or down here. Anywhere. I get to choose if entropy wins – not for the universe, just for me. I’m not letting it win. So I’ll find a way to keep the things I want together.”

There’s something a little absurd about him, something you’ve grown fond of. Maybe fond is understating it. “You’re going to fight the laws of the universe.”

“Yeah. And win.” Tomura settles against you, a contented sigh exiting his mouth as your fingers wind through his hair. “Say what you want. If the reporters ask me, that’s what I’m telling them.”

“We’re definitely not beating the love story accusations if you tell them that.”

“Never said I wanted to.” Tomura’s voice is starting to blur into sleep. If you close your eyes, the two of you are going to nap like this straight through the press conference. “If your apartment doesn’t allow dogs, we’ll have to get a new one.”

Now you’re moving in together. It makes as much sense as anything else about this, which is to say it doesn’t. In some ways it feels like you never left orbit, or like you never landed the shuttle – everything is surreal, hard to believe. But you remember Tomura’s music of the spheres brushing against your eardrums, impossible to imagine and impossible to refute. You don’t have to believe. All you have to do is trust what you can see and hear and feel. And that’s him.

For a little while the thought is peaceful. Then something else pierces through it, something you can’t hold in. “I’m still a pilot,” you say. “They’re making me an instructor, and I can’t fly until my psych evals come up clean, but once they do – the program’s down two pilots. They’re going to send me up again.”

It’ll be a while. Right now the mechanics department is designing drones that can repair Station Ultra, outlining a system that will eliminate the need for spacewalks, but it’ll be a long time before it’s ready. Not long enough, though. You’re a long time from mandatory retirement. You’ll fly again. And when you do – “I’ll go with you,” Tomura says. “I still have work to do up there. And I’m not flying with anybody else.”

He yawns. “Deal?”

“Deal,” you say, and when you kiss him, you let yourself believe.

<- part 1

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skydaemon · 1 year ago

Text

Okay I’m awake again and something that really stood out to me with TSC was how different jean and neil are as protagonists. I expected they would be, but the thing I really noticed was how distinct their reactions were.

So, these books are HEAVY. There are many many traumatic events and the characters spend a lot of time in high-stress situations. Even when they’re not being attacked or threatened or XYZ, they’re often in a state of heightened physiological arousal (their sympathetic nervous system is going haywire). As a psychologist, the thing I find really interesting is that we see very different reactions that are all aligned with different adrenal responses, and I wanted to talk about it.

As a baseline, when your sympathetic nervous system is activated, you typically experience what some psychologists call the four Fs. Fight, flight, freeze, and/or fawn (some people use another word here but I don’t like it and think it’s less accurate to the situation). These can occur simultaneously or alone. And of the four characters who are most showing this response are the ones who are consistently in the highest stress situations, but who are also traumatised in such a way that even when they’re not actively in danger their sympathetic nervous system is overreactive and heightened.

So first off, we have Neil. He’s pretty clearly shown to have two responses: flight and fight. For his entire childhood, he’s been fleeing from danger and in the earlier parts of AFTG, we see this response - he tries to run as far as he can possibly get from anything that might be a risk. As a side point, this is pretty clearly a learned response from his mother. As Neil begins to feel more secure and his flight response is impeded (he can’t run away) we see the emergence of his other primary adrenal response - fight. I don’t feel like I need to explain this one, tbh, we’ve all seen how he runs his mouth. Fight is also typically shown when you believe you can defeat whatever’s threatening you, so I love what this says about how his confidence develops across the trilogy.

Then you have Andrew. He’s not a POV protagonist but I feel like his response might be the most obvious. His primary responses are fight and freeze (Andrew Minyard runs from/fawns for no man). Fight is pretty obvious - he’s a very violent person - but I feel like the most clear example of this is stopping Riko from attacking Neil. Andrew is obviously wired and his instinctive response is to protect. I love that for him. His other primary response, unfortunately, is freeze. Based on the most obvious time we see it (during Drake's attack), this is probably a response he developed as a child, before he felt strong/safe enough to fight back. God, these books make me sad sometimes.

Next is Kevin. He has a slightly more varied response - i can see the argument for him freezing, although i wouldnt say it's a primary response - but his main two responses are fight and fawn. Fight isn't necessarily literal, btw - the most obvious example is covering his tattoo. His fawn response is slightly more expanded on in TSC (mild spoilers if you haven't read that yet) when we see him responding to Riko's attack by begging first Riko and then Jean to intercede and stop the violence. he's trying to appeal to their affection for him, which is absolutely heartbreaking. Kevin i love you.

And finally, we have Jean, whose primary responses are only really made clear in TSC, although they are backed up by his appearances in the trilogy - freeze and fawn. We see freezing in Jean's response to sympathetic nervous system arousal, often from hearing about or recalling upsetting events/information. He closes in on himself and becomes unresponsive. Fawn is slightly more complicated, as we see it somewhat throughout AFTG. when he's loyal to riko and doing things he thinks riko will like in hopes of reducing any potential pain/threat he will experience, i'd call that fawning. an example at usc is him getting on his knees and handing coach rhemann his racket - he's not just submitting to punishment, he's trying to be helpful and well-behaved in hopes of lessening it. it's honestly a really strong response from him and it absolutely breaks my heart. jean in tsc is really struggling and i hope the last book brings him some peace. i also find it really painful that he's the only one of these boys without a fight response - he's never felt capable of winning against his abusers. i really hope the trojans and bee are able to help change that.

#tsc meta #tsc #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #the sunshine court spoilers #aftg meta #aftg spoilers #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #jean moreau #sky (the blogger) originals

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haunted-obsidian-of-asgard · 10 months ago

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I want to take a minute to talk about the books that are in the therapist's office in 'The Gang Gets Analyzed'. Now, I've watched this episode at least ten times, and I never once paid much attention to them, but upon viewing it today, they finally stood out.

The first one that caught my attention was the Child Sexual Abuse book sitting atop the Lesbian Subjects one. I had to pause and rewind, and immediately I couldn't help but think they were referring to Dennis, Charlie and Dee (I've read speculation about her sexuality and it's a definite possibility as we know Glenn stated that all the characters are a little gay).

Let's look a little closer at the other titles - (I can't make out the very first one on the left, no matter how close I zoomed in), but from there we have Soul, Mind, Body, Medicine : A Complete Soul Healing SYSTEM for Optimum Health and Vitality (again, Dennis, anyone?), Psychological Research in Prisons (Mac and his daddy issues?), Power vs. Force (a book that explains how anyone can tap into their inner power to change their lives and the lives of those around them) (Again, this cries Dennis to me), Identity and Anxiety (Mac again), and finally, Listening Perspectives in Psychotherapy, a book that illustrates four distinctly different styles of listening that have emerged in psychoanalysis (Dennis and how he analyzes the other four).

I just found the titles not only interesting, but quite specific to the characters' traits.

Moving on...

Next up, on the top shelf, the first book Medicine Without Menopause felt like a dig at Dee, followed by Adult Children of Alcoholics (Dee, Dennis and Charlie), (And I Can only partially make the next one out) The Handbook of Psychiatric x (I can't make out the part in white but it sounds like something Dennis would've ingested at some point), Sex After Sixty (Frank, no doubt), and lastly Collective Behavior which the very definition of describes the gang to a t - {Excerpt from the book} Collective behavior takes many forms but generally violates societal norms. Collective behavior can be tremendously destructive, as with riots or mob violence, silly, as with fads, or anywhere in between. Collective behavior is always driven by group dynamics, encouraging people to engage in acts they might consider unthinkable under typical social circumstances.

Then we have the other books that are standing - The Human Animal (Charlie and possibly Frank), Adult Bipolar Disorders (Dennis, Mac?), When Life Becomes Precious (a book about taking care of a loved one with a terminal illness i.e. in reference to Charlie's Mom Has Cancer?), Woman Heal Thyself (another dig at Dee), and lastly, How to Live Well on a Shoestring Budget (Frank and Charlie).

This screenshot was taken in the last few minutes of the ep, and look! A new book has been added to the pile - Childhood Socialization. I don't know why I found that one to feel like it was calling out Charlie specifically, but could quite possibly refer to them all as well.

I feel like all of these titles weren't just mere happenstance and that someone picked these out to represent the gang as a whole or individually.

Either way, just thought there were a lot of interesting choices in the mold. Thank you for listening to my ted talk regarding the Gang Gets Analyzed.

#iasip #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #dee reynolds #charlie kelly #frank reynolds #the gang gets analyzed

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luimagines · 9 months ago

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Modern Dance (1800 Follower Raffle)

Our second place winner was @mickleloaf!!

They asked for a somewhat continuation of The Chain Hanging out in Modern! Reader's House, in which they find the music/Just Dance. Which you can read the "first part" right here.

You don't have to read it to get this one though.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

“Alright boys.” You called their attention when the sun had already set and the movies had run their courses. After the Lion King, you had put on Pirates of the Caribbean and Kung Fu Panda- which probably wasn’t the best idea because now the boys were taking turns punching and kicking each other in an effort to replicate the movie. “We’re going to change the pace a bit.”

“By doing what?” Wind held a pillow threateningly over Sky’s head. The poor boy had fallen asleep a while ago and was dead to the world for all anyone knew. You had no idea how he managed to sleep through the chaos but everybody has a skill.

“We’re going to dance.” You grinned and turned on the video game console. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you to all our music, but there’s too many genres to choose from and you all have way too much energy for this time of night. We’re going to burn it all off.”

Many of the boys had settled down, watching in fascination as you turned on the systems and switched the controls. They all sat up a little straighter when the colors of the game turned on. It took a controlled effort to get them to step away form the screen instead of shoving their faces up to the characters.

You scrolled through aimlessly and picked an easy level to begin with.

“Rancher, Captain?” You asked sweetly. “Can you help move some of the furniture out of the way? I’m going to put multiplayer mode. We can have up to four at a time.”

“Meaning?” Wild chipped in, helping the other boys push the couch and the tables out of the way.

“Whoever dances the best or most like the person on the screen, wins.” You say gleefully. And maybe just a tad hint of evil.

These boys were competitive. You were to see them at each other's throats… metaphorically. …Mostly.

After giving a few more orders to clear the space, you stepped aside and selected the song. With a gleam in your eyes, you pointed at Wind, Wild and Hyrule. “You three versus me. Come on.”

Wind jumped front and center without hesitation, Hyrule walking forward with a curious tilt to his head. Wild was the only one who was hesitant to step up to the “platform”, so to speak. It made you calm down a little bit and smile softly. “Relax. It’s not magic. Everything you see will stay there. Just like the stories I put on earlier.”

“Do we even get an example?” Hyrule tilts his head.

“What do you think you are?” You giggle and start the song.

At once the lights flashed and the music started. Having already played this song a number of times, you knew the beats by heart and continued the routine without missing a strike or a pause. The other boys… were less coordinated. …But that’s you being generous.

You think Wind might have smacked Warrior by accident at some point in the attempt to do the moves, but you blame the Captain. He shouldn’t have been that close then.

You win the round. Perfect score. 100%, unsurprisingly.

“I want to go again.” Wild growls. “That’s not fair. You didn’t explain what we were supposed to do properly.”

“I’m next.” Legend raised his hand. “I actually did a dance battle before.”

“No. That means you wait.” Four shoved him playfully. “Give the rest of us a chance to make a fool out of ourselves before you dominate.

You laugh and turn to Time. “Do you want to try, Old Man?”

He grins before shaking his head. “These old bones of mine aren’t as spry as they used to be. I’m content to watch.”

“If you say so.” You shrug, already thinking of ways to wear him down just so he could dance to at least one song.

You step out so that other boys can step in and have a turn. Warrior, Four, Wild and Twilight take the next round. You tried to find another easy song that they would be able to follow without much difficulty, but here is where their competitiveness came through.

Wild tried to trip up Warrior. Twilight pulled on Wild’s hair. Warrior ‘nudged’ Twilight straight into the couch and Four won the round by blaming the hits that he dealt straight onto the other boys.

In an effort to save your house from burning down prematurely, you switched them all out and danced the next round with Wind, Legend and Hyrule.

No one wanted to wake up Sky.

You picked a harder song, if only to trip up Legend. But you should have known better. Not only did he already admit to doing a dance battle before, he already had two rounds to watch and observe what not to do and what to do to get points.

He would have almost won if you didn’t know about the bonus points for hitting the striking pose on the right beat.

“WHAT!!” He screamed. “How did you get double the points!?!?”

“You have to hit it with enough passion.” You teased and kept dancing.

It was the needed points for you to win the round, but goodness, did he give you a run for your money.

Switching out again, you began to work and tease and wear down Time to get him to dance.

It didn’t work.

Within the hour the boys started to fall asleep one by one. The others with the energy to do so helped move them to a bed roll and away from the dance floor so they wouldn’t be trampled on once the wrestling started. Because wrestling would start. That was not an if, but a when.

Time actually went down after Twilight did. Between those two and Sky, the other boys were way more hyped and loaded with sugar that they still needed to work off.

You played for three hours.

The only one that lasted the longest was Four and even then, you were willing to bet he could have kept going if you weren’t ready to fall over and pass out yourself. You groaned and turned off your console. “I’m going to pay tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t moved like that in a long time.” You steal the couch and throw your legs over Sky. You’d doubt he’d mind. “I moved muscles that hadn't been moved since I was last home… I can feel them yelling at me.”

Four chuckled and also got down to take the lounge chair. You envied him. He was small enough to sleep comfortably there. “You won most of the matches. I’ve never seen you swing your arms around with such reckless abandon.”

“This is my house.” You grumble. “I had to defend my title and my territory… Besides, you’re all just as, if not, more competitive than I am. There was no way any of you were going to go easy on me.”

“Fair enough.”

“Good night, Link.” You smile, allowing your guard to fall for the first time in months and finally get some needed rest.

“Good night.”

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #linked universe x reader #lu x reader #modern! reader #a bit short #but i think it's fun

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physicallyimprobable · 1 year ago

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what's the 3-dimensional number thing?

Well I'm glad you asked! For those confused, this is referring to my claim that "my favorite multiplication equation is 3 × 5 = 15 because it's the reason you can't make a three-dimensional number system" from back in this post. Now, this is gonna be a bit of a journey, so buckle up.

Part One: Numbers in Space

First of all, what do I mean by a three-dimensional number system? We say that the complex numbers are two-dimensional, and that the quaternions are four-dimensional, but what do we mean by these things? There's a few potential answers to this question, but for our purposes we'll take the following narrative:

Complex numbers can be written in the form (a+bi), where a and b are real numbers. For the variable-averse, this just means we have things like (3+6i) and (5-2i) and (-8+3i). Some amount of "units" (that is, ones), and some amount of i's.

Most people are happy to stop here and say "well, there's two numbers that you're using, so that's two dimensions, ho hum". I think that's underselling it, though, since there's something nontrivial and super cool happening here. See, each complex number has an "absolute value", which is its distance from zero. If you imagine "3+6i" to mean "three meters East and six meters North", then the distance to that point will be 6.708 meters. We say the absolute value of (3+6i), which is written like |3+6i|, is equal to 6.708. Similarly, interpreting "5-2i" to mean "five meters East and two meters South" we get that |5-2i| = 5.385.

The neat thing about this is that absolute values multiply really nicely. For example, the two numbers above multiply to give (3+6i) × (5-2i) = (27+24i) which has a length of 36.124. What's impressive is that this length is the product of our original lengths: 36.124 = 6.708 × 5.385. (Okay technically this is not true due to rounding but for the full values it is true.)

This is what we're going to say is necessary to for a number system to accurately represent a space. You need the numbers to have lengths corresponding to actual lengths in space, and you need those lengths to be "multiplicative", which just means it does the thing we just saw. (That is, when you multiply two numbers, their lengths are multiplied as well.)

There's still of course the question of what "actual lengths in space" means, but we can just use the usual Euclidean method of measurement. So, |3+6i| = √(3²+6²) and |5-2i| = √(5²+2²). This extends directly to the quaternions, which are written as (a+bi+cj+dk) for real numbers a, b, c, d. (Don't worry about what j and k mean if you don't know; it turns out not to really matter here.) The length of the quaternion 4+3i-7j+4k can be calculated like |4+3i-7j+4k| = √(4²+3²+7²+4²) = 9.486 and similarly for other points in "four-dimensional space". These are the kinds of number systems we're looking for.

[To be explicit, for those who know the words: What we are looking for is a vector algebra over the real numbers with a prescribed basis under which the Euclidean norm is multiplicative and the integer lattice forms a subring.]

Part Two: Sums of Squares

Now for something completely different. Have you ever thought about which numbers are the sum of two perfect squares? Thirteen works, for example, since 13 = 3² + 2². So does thirty-two, since 32 = 4² + 4². The squares themselves also work, since zero exists: 49 = 7² + 0². But there are some numbers, like three and six, which can't be written as a sum of two squares no matter how hard you try. (It's pretty easy to check this yourself; there aren't too many possibilities.)

Are there any patterns to which numbers are a sum of two squares and which are not? Yeah, loads. We're going to look at a particularly interesting one: Let's say a number is "S2" if it's a sum of two squares. (This thing where you just kinda invent new terminology for your situation is common in math. "S2" should be thought of as an adjective, like "orange" or "alphabetical".) Then here's the neat thing: If two numbers are S2 then their product is S2 as well.

Let's see a few small examples. We have 2 = 1² + 1², so we say that 2 is S2. Similarly 4 = 2² + 0² is S2. Then 2 × 4, that is to say, 8, should be S2 as well. Indeed, 8 = 2² + 2².

Another, slightly less trivial example. We've seen that 13 and 32 are both S2. Then their product, 416, should also be S2. Lo and behold, 416 = 20² + 4², so indeed it is S2.

How do we know this will always work? The simplest way, as long as you've already internalized the bit from Part 1 about absolute values, is to think about the norms of complex numbers. A norm is, quite simply, the square of the corresponding distance. (Okay yes it can also mean different things in other contexts, but for our purposes that's what a norm is.) The norm is written with double bars, so ‖3+6i‖ = 45 and ‖5-2i‖ = 29 and ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90.

One thing to notice is that if your starting numbers are whole numbers then the norm will also be a whole number. In fact, because of how we've defined lengths, the norm is just the sum of the squares of the real-number bits. So, any S2 number can be turned into a norm of a complex number: 13 can be written as ‖3+2i‖, 32 can be written as ‖4+4i‖, and 49 can be written as ‖7+0i‖.

The other thing to notice is that, since the absolute value is multiplicative, the norm is also multiplicative. That is to say, for example, ‖(3+6i) × (5-2i)‖ = ‖3+6i‖ × ‖5-2i‖. It's pretty simple to prove that this will work with any numbers you choose.

But lo, gaze upon what happens when we combine these two facts together! Consider the two S2 values 13 and 32 from before. Because of the first fact, we can write the product 13 × 32 in terms of norms: 13 × 32 = ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖. So far so good. Then, using the second fact, we can pull the product into the norms: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖(3+2i) × (4+4i)‖. Huzzah! Now, if we write out the multiplication as (3+2i) × (4+4i) = (4+20i), we can get a more natural looking norm equation: ‖3+2i‖ × ‖4+4i‖ = ‖4+20i‖ and finally, all we need to do is evaluate the norms to get our product! (3² + 2²) × (4² + 4²) = (4² + 20²)

The cool thing is that this works no matter what your starting numbers are. 218 = 13² + 7² and 292 = 16² + 6², so we can follow the chain to get 218 × 292 = ‖13+7i‖ × ‖16+6i‖ = ‖(13+7i) × (16+6i)‖ = ‖166+190i‖ = 166² + 190² and indeed you can check that both extremes are equal to 63,656. No matter which two S2 numbers you start with, if you know the squares that make them up, you can use this process to find squares that add to their product. That is to say, the product of two S2 numbers is S2.

Part Four: Why do we skip three?

Now we have all the ingredients we need for our cute little proof soup! First, let's hop to the quaternions and their norm. As you should hopefully remember, quaternions have four terms (some number of units, some number of i's, some number of j's, and some number of k's), so a quaternion norm will be a sum of four squares. For example, ‖4+3i-7j+4k‖ = 90 means 90 = 4² + 3² + 7² + 4².

Since we referred to sums of two squares as S2, let's say the sums of four squares are S4. 90 is S4 because it can be written as we did above. Similarly, 7 is S4 because 7 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 1², and 22 is S4 because 22 = 4² + 2² + 1² + 1². We are of course still allowed to use zeros; 6 = 2² + 1² + 1² + 0² is S4, as is our friend 13 = 3² + 2² + 0² + 0².

The same fact from the S2 numbers still applies here: since 7 is S4 and 6 is S4, we know that 42 (the product of 7 and 6) is S4. Indeed, after a bit of fiddling I've found that 42 = 6² + 4² + 1² + 1². I don't need to do that fiddling, however, if I happen to be able to calculate quaternions! All I need to do is follow the chain, just like before: 7 × 6 = ‖2+i+j+k‖ × ‖2+i+j‖ = ‖(2+i+j+k) × (2+i+j)‖ = ‖2+3i+5j+2k‖ = 2² + 3² + 5² + 2². This is a different solution than the one I found earlier, but that's fine! As long as there's even one solution, 42 will be S4. Using the same logic, it should be clear that the product of any two S4 numbers is an S4 number.

Now, what goes wrong with three dimensions? Well, as you might have guessed, it has to do with S3 numbers, that is, numbers which can be written as a sum of three squares. If we had any three-dimensional number system, we'd be able to use the strategy we're now familiar with to prove that any product of S3 numbers is an S3 number. This would be fine, except, well…

3 × 5 = 15.

Why is this bad? See, 3 = 1² + 1² + 1² and 5 = 2² + 1² + 0², so both 3 and 5 are S3. However, you can check without too much trouble that 15 is not S3; no matter how hard you try, you can't write 15 as a sum of three squares.

And, well, that's it. The bucket has been kicked, the nails are in the coffin. You cannot make a three-dimensional number system with the kind of nice norm that the complex numbers and quaternions have. Even if someone comes to you excitedly, claiming to have figured it out, you can just toss them through these steps: • First, ask what the basis is. Complex numbers use 1 and i; quaternions use 1, i, j, and k. Let's say they answer with p, q, and r. • Second, ask them to multiply (p+q+r) by (2p+q). • Finally, well. If their system works, the resulting number should give you three numbers whose squares add to 15. Since that can't happen, you've shown that the norm is not actually multiplicative; their system doesn't capture the geometry of three dimensions.

#math #numbers #human interaction #this took the better part of a day to write oops #although to be fair I haven't exactly been focused #Also hi Pyro! Welcome.#that silly fast food emoji post went wild #I've gotten 30 followers just from that one post #which isn't that many in objective terms but like it's 40% of my current count so #hello everyone #I might start reblogging things again now

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aethersea · 8 months ago

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still thinking about the trump voter I talked to the other day who was like "well the democrats have had four years to fix things," as proof that clearly they weren't doing that so they weren't worth voting for. and I just. do you think the democrats are our friends? do you think they're a bunch of saints? they're politicians! where did your cynicism go, man, the whole system is corrupt and dishonest and we've always known this. the difference is in degree. the difference is in what they do BESIDES and DESPITE the corruption.

god I just. idk I think this next complaint is old as dirt but people have GOT to stop thinking about politicians as friendly folks who are on your side. miss me with that. you can get that on a local level sometimes, but on a state or federal level, you will have a few radical outliers if you're lucky. a politician is not a buddy. a politician is a person who has power over your life, and a politician is a person doing a job, and it does not and has never fucking mattered if they're someone you could hang out and shoot the shit with! that is not part of their job! that is not the part of your life they have power over! they are not your friends!

the democrats have not fixed the country bc a) there are too many forces working against that, b) fixing a country is a convoluted goddamn problem and it'd take decades, not years, and c) they don't necessarily care all that much! they're just people doing a job! they care mostly about keeping their jobs!

look, there are probably a lot of politicians who do care deeply about helping people. there are also lots of politicians who don't give a fuck, but do a great job pretending they care deeply about helping people because they know that's how they'll get votes. I fundamentally do not care which one of these two people is in power so long as they pass and enforce laws that help people. yeah it'd be nice to have the first person, but so long as shit gets done we'll call it a win.

because there's a third, way more common type of politician, who not only doesn't give a fuck, but knows how to get ahead without actually following through on a single campaign promise. that politician is saying all the right things, just like the other two, but they don't pass a single helpful law and instead will pass a bunch of, like, food safety deregulations in exchange for cash from large companies that don't want to worry about health inspectors.

you know what keeps us safe from that? it's when 'doing some useful things for society sometimes' is a good way for a politician to keep their job. otherwise we will end up with no politicians who do useful things for society, out of sheer natural selection.

I'm just venting at this point but god. since when do we believe politicians are good people. obama was a godsend for this country and this world, he achieved so much good, and also he never so much as shut down guantanamo bay. the bar is in hell. the bar is in hell, and every single politician running for office will tell you otherwise, and we have got to stop listening to that and look at what they do. and keep demanding they do better, instead of replacing them with people who will do worse just because at least it's a brand new grifter.

#finx rambles #I am so sick of this #this man is older than my father and grew up in a military dictatorship #how his he falling for friggin ~anti-woke~ rhetoric like the greatest threat to society is political correctness #who fucking cares what we're calling each other. I want civil rights

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russellsppttemplates · 1 year ago

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Hi inês, hope you are well, could a request a blurb where the reader struggles with her mental health and the driver of you choice helps her through that, if you want you can include their children, thank you kisses

Note: I hope you're well, too!

Cw: mental health struggles related to parenting, immunity concerns regarding premature babies

"We're okay, baby boy, we're okay", you cooed as you bounced Fraser, walking along the nursery to hopefully soothe him to sleep. It had been like that for the past two weeks and it was getting to you. Matilda caught some bug in school and the minute it entered your home, Fraser was the second victim and he was struggling with it too, barely being able to sleep for long before he coughed and needed his nose unblocked.

Because he was a premature baby, you had to be even more careful with these things, and even though you knew they happened and it was all part of life, you weren't sure you could go another day without telling this to someone. Lando had been incredible at making sure you were all taken care of, and Matilda was dropped off and picked up from school so you could stay home for your maternity leave.

"Love, are you on the nursery?", Lando called as he climbed up the stairs, following the small noise from your footsteps and Fraser's whimpers, "there you are, hey gorgeous", he smiled, kissing your cheek before rubbing Fraser's cheek as he laid on your chest, "look at you so comfy, little man, mummy's chest us the best spot for a nap, isn't it? Mummy is the best", he nipped a few kissed on the top of his head until he heard your sniffles.

"Love, lovie, hey", he cooed back at you, cupping your face in his hands, "what's the matter? Hey - breathe with me", he encouraged, taking a few long, deep breaths with you, "it's okay, everything is okay", he checked over.

"He's so little, Lando, and he needs to be kept safe and sound, but it's not like we can get Tilly out of school just for that, and he's bound to have to build an immune system, might as well be now that my boobs gave the good antibodies stuff but still", you babbled.

Lando took Fraser away from your arms with your consent, setting him on his cot for a little bit when the little boy was settled, "now tell me all of that without being so worried, okay?", he encouraged again.

"I can't stop worrying about him, thinking he has a deficient immune system to begin with and I can't seem to keep him healthy and happy enough - it all goes through my head so many times a day and I can't think about anything else. It's the same thing, all the time", you admitted.

"How long have you been feeling like this? You could've told me, darling", he soothed softly, "you're doing such a good job with him, I'm in awe of you every day, Y/N. Sure, he's been a bit cough-y and his nose his stuffy, but you're doing your best - we're doing our best! He's got a sister who adores him so much and plays with him - she's even helping with his immune system", Lando tried to bring a smile to your face, achieving it, "He's got me, who will physically shove you into bed no matter how many times you say that you'll get him from now on, and he's got a wonderful, superwoman like mummy who needs some rest and reassurance, and that's okay", he kissed your lips softly, "we're in this together, darling", he confided.

"I feel alone and like I'm a failure, but then he's such a happy little one, look at that!", you pointed to the smiling boy, happily biting in his stuffed koala toy as he looked at both of you, "it's such a rush of things and I'm already thinking of what I need to do in case he does come down with something else - fever, tummy bug, stuffy nose - anything really", you rubbed your forehead, letting your husband pull you to his embrace.

"How about we have a cosy night in just the four of us? Movie night with Tilly, and I can e the one keeping an eye on that little dude and you can just relax - I don't like seeing you this worried, beautiful", he brushed some hairs behind your ear, "sounds nice".

After dinner, Matilda sat with you on the sofa and as per Lando's request, she kept showering you with "extra love", meaning she was more attentive than usual, "you also always make me my favourite breakfast everytime I ask for it", she said as she kissed your cheek again.

"Thank you, Tilly", you smiled, "I'm not done yet, mummy! I love you because you always take care of me, because you let me stay up late to watch daddy's races when they're at night or wake up really early to see him race when it's very far away, how you always let me know you love me, daddy and Fraser", she continued as you felt happy tears brimming your eyes from all the love she was showering you with.

"Little man is down, was absolutely milk drunk and went out like a light", Lando said as he walked inside the living room with Fraser on his arms, showing you his pout and chubby cheeks before he put him in the small basket you had in the living room, still able to keep an eye on him.

"Did you tell her to tell me all the things she loved about me?", you whispered on Lando's ear once Tilly was focusing on the movie cuddled up to your side, "I have no idea what you're talking about", Lando shrugged his shoulders even though the smile was on his lips.

"Sure, you have no idea what I'm talking about", you kissed his jaw, "thank you for this".

"We're in this together, no one gets left behind and no one feels like a failure in this house, ever!", he whispered back, his hand happily playing with your fingers while Matilda giggled sweetly as she watched the squirrel trying to get the acorn.

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

#lando norris blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

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system-of-a-feather · 5 months ago

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So this is adding onto this post, but the statement I'm expanding on is "I think people see fusion as parts melting into each other but honestly, I think its more like your concept of self widening over multiple parts"

Context; skip to Context Clear if you don't care

For context, this is something I was thinking about because yesterday, at work, we found it really funny that since we were working with a client that reminded us a lot of our younger selves for better or worse, that we were inevitably going to utilize more of our Ray brain and energy to give them the best care and we were going "haha the amount of times we did the signature Ray 'No.'" because Ray specifically just has such a signature "no" and it made us snicker mentally everytime we did it

But today we were thinking back on it since we were choosing to listen to some of Ray's music, and really, we spent almost ALL of the day primarily in Ray mental space, but we really didn't notice it at all until the day after and THAT is incredibly odd for our system because Ray is a part that is EXTREMELY internally obvious. He's not a part we'd ever be "blurry with" in the past, and hes not a part we wouldn't realize is out. So it was really interesting that we were almost exclusively operating in Ray brain and DIDNT notice it

But the reason we didn't really notice it, is because while we - in hindsight - were obviously operating as Ray (including the iconic chronic passive singing of Frank Sinatra and similar songs), it was NOT unique or different to the concept of just what we as Feathers are like and do and that's because everything Ray does is basically completely normal and within the concept of what Feathers is. And that made me think; Ray didn't "fuse" or "meld" with any parts when we fused, the concept of Feathers expanded so that Ray is just an obvious and normal part of the "I" which Feathers is.

Context Clear

When it comes to fusion, its not really as though parts disappear or stop interacting or existing in any way or form. Sometimes they might not be super obvious or outwardly identify as themselves with fusion, but that's largely a matter of perspective and focus.

I'd like to think of it kind of like how I've heard similar things explained in some Buddhist literature; Think about table. A table is made up of many parts that we can look at individually; four different legs, the table top, maybe theres some center piece; some might even include the chairs around the table to be part of "the table".

Now imagine you stubbed your toe against one of the legs. Clearly, you can look exactly where your toe hit, and you can say that it was OBVIOUSLY the left most leg. However, you could ALSO be 100% accurate in saying "I stubbed my toe against the table". When you say "table" the legs are not suddenly melting into the table top and the decorations and the chairs; the legs are still there and they can be individually referenced and looked at, but at the same time, the table exists as a seperate concept that CONTAINS the legs.

The legs of the table can exist and be separate from the concept of the table while still being a specific part of the table that can be referenced, acknowledged, expressed, and focused on. At no point does anyone ever stop seeing or being able to discuss or interact with the legs of the table when they start talking about the table. At any point, anyone could look back at the legs, but sometimes its easier or more realistic / appropriate to just talk about the table as a table.

Similarly, if you put a plate on the tabletop, you could say "I put the plate on the tabletop" and have that be accurate, you could discuss the table top specifically, but it probably just sounds more reasonable to just say "I put the plate on the table."

With that analogy in mind, not being fused it kind of like getting an Ikea table in the box. All the parts are disjointed, unconnected, and seperate from one another. You can't really discuss these parts as "a table" because they're not together, they aren't really able to work like a table, and the parts can be taken miles apart - you could even loose parts; what happens to one part does not necessarily echo throughout the non-unified whole. If you stub your toe on the leg, you probably didn't impact the table top and every other part of the would-be table. If you place your "plate on the non-unified table", its hard to imagine where exactly you would have put the plate down. The concept of each part operates really only independent of one another.

Fusion, on the other hand, is like putting that Ikea table together. Once everything is all together, you can easily refer to the whole as a "table" but you can ALSO refer to the legs, the table top, the screws, etc.

Its not so much parts melting together to make a new whole, its more about parts connecting and unifying to create a solid whole concept. Pre-fusion, the concept of "I" is limited to the individual parts that don't really exist in a unified form - you are either interacting with the leg, the screw, the table top.

Fusion, the concept of "I" is expanded to the unified whole, meaning you are always interacting with "the table" but you can also specifically be interacting with the leg, the table top, the screw, etc.

#dissociative identity disorder #actuallydid #fusion #fusion talk #sysconversation #didrecovery #feathers speaks

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bleachbleachbleach · 3 days ago

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Aw, thank you for answering! It made me a bit confused though, had to read it twice lol

Actually, I have tons of questions on Seireitei worldbuilding. Like how big is it? Why is it so hard to navigate for those who have lived there for decades? I actually thought the divisions aren't in order and addresses don't exist like that so it's why it's confusing for shinigami living there but well.

I used to headcanon that Seireitei has a outer cycle, where gotei divisions and kido corpse are stationed, and they're kinda in order, but not so neat. And each division has it's own district, somehow a territory thing? And they have normal shops too. For example, 11th division's district has its own grocery, barber shop, small restaurants or bars, etc.

Ajd we know from tybw that Seireitei has numbered districts, but they didn't list any names(although when you're reporting which districts are getting destroyed , you'd naturally skip the names)

And then we have the inner cycle, which is 1st division, noble parts and shino academy(I think they'd put the young students in a safer area)

I also used to think Seireitei doesn't have a shopping area or bazaar, and the top rukongai districts play that rule. But maybe it has. Who knows

Another matter that I wanted to ask you about before but decided not to is, well, in tybw Ikkaku and Yumichika go to investigate the disappearance of rukongai citizens, and Ikkaku mentions something like "whoever did this, messed with wrong divison's jurisdiction" . Which made me think, so Gotei 13 is in charge of rukongai? Actually makes sense, but how does it work? Which divisions are in charge of which parts?(I think 1st,2nd,4th and 12th are out. 8th might be as well. So 8 divisions, each get 40 rukongai Districts?)

Reading things more than once is a good practice!

According to Yoruichi, it takes 10 days to walk 25% of the outer circumference of the Seireitei, which is… pretty dang big. (We have discussed this previously on this blog. A map of Spain was involved.) Even if we throw out some random numbers and say, okay, walk 15miles in a day, times ten days, times four—you end up with an area that’s like 6 times the size of the Greater Tokyo Area, which as mentioned in the previous post I simply refuse to believe. So… that’s one size I do NOT think the Seireitei is. Maybe Yoruichi doesn't think Team Karakura can walk very fast. Maybe 10 days as an exaggeration. All possible variables!

Matsumoto also talks about how long it would take to assemble all the Captains/VCs for a meeting, based on wherever they might be when the meeting is announced, which suggests the Seireitei is, again, pretty big. But it’s also possible Matsumoto is prone to exaggeration, too. (I mean, we know she is!)

As alluded to in the previous post, I imagine that the Seireitei is difficult to navigate because even if you know how to read a Seireitei address, and it all seems to follow logically, that logic is going to point you to the wrong Ward or the wrong block just as often as it points you to the right one, and there are so many counter-logics at play knowledge of the system can be just as bad as complete ignorance of it—or worse. I mean, Ichigo found this way to stuff, and all he had was *instructions from Ikkaku* and *Ganju’s terrible map.* I have definitely worked in places where there are certain places you can only get to by instinct, and trying to think about it at all or logic it out will guarantee you getting lost!

Even if the Seireitei is not 6x Greater Tokyo Area huge, I think it makes lots of sense that different areas would each have their own shops, like you say. Even if there’s a designated shopping district (there is anime filler that implies that there is) that doesn’t mean that every single shop is there, and nowhere else, in the same way that like, every Chinese business in a city is not in Chinatown. And of course we do know that Rukongai also has some shops (there is at least one confectionary shop, and it’s in Junrinan lol). But I don’t think they’re the only shops. Like, sure, we know nothing about the guy, but I do not believe in my heart that Shirogane would lease some random building in Rukongai to set up the Silver Dragonfly.

I think the Gotei has decided it’s in charge of Rukongai, yes. Whether that paternalism is universally acknowledged is a different story... (See: short-lived Bount Arc Rukongai Insurrection.) Similar to how the Gotei has divvied up the Living World jurisdictions, so goes Rukongai. Whether these are set in stone or get re-negotiated every time there’s a spending bill on the floor of the Central 46 or a new 50-year strategic plan is probably up to interpretation.

#asks #map society #shinigamiology #no brain just bleach

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beauty-and-passion · 11 months ago

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TBOB PART 2: OF FLATLAND, EXWHYLIA AND EUCLYDIA (1/4)

Oooooh, this is going to be fun!~

Welcome everyone, to part 2 of my trilogy of posts regarding Bill Cipher, The Book of Bill, all the lore we got, my obsession from 8 years ago rising from the ashes and my other, older obsessions for Flatland, dimensions and backstories in general. Maybe now you get why this part is gonna be long.

Here we will talk about three second-dimensional worlds and what they have in common, starting with Flatland and Exwhylia.

For all disclaimers and bla bla bla, refer to the first post HERE. In addition to them, I would like to add that:

There will be quotes from Flatland because I love this book (there’s a reason if I read it way before knowing Gravity Falls)

Everyone should read Flatland because it’s great (you can find it online HERE)

Everyone should watch the 2017 movie about Flatland on the official YouTube channel HERE. It perfectly portrays how 2D shapes work & how the world works. Also, it’s hilarious, it’s incredibly well made and A Sphere is my spirit animal. I bet he and Bill would’ve been good pals.

<- Previous part - Masterlist

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PART 1: OF FLATLAND

“EDWIN ABBOTT ABBOTT HAS A DECENT IDEA” - Bill Cipher AMA

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A flat world

I call our world Flatland, not because we call it so, but to make its nature clearer to you, my happy readers, who are privileged to live in Space. Imagine a vast sheet of paper on which straight Lines, Triangles, Squares, Pentagons, Hexagons, and other figures, instead of remaining fixed in their places, move freely about, on or in the surface, but without the power of rising above or sinking below it, very much like shadows - only hard and with luminous edges - and you will then have a pretty correct notion of my country and countrymen.

This is how Flatland starts and we immediately learn that this world is like a vast sheet of paper in which the shapes move around.

And there is no concept of above or below:

You are living on a Plane. What you style Flatland is the vast level surface of what I may call a fluid, on, or in, the top of which you and your countrymen move about, without rising above it or falling below it. (...) for you have no power to raise your eye out of the plane of Flatland; but you can at least see that, as I rise in Space, so my sections become smaller. See now, I will rise; and the effect upon your eye will be that my Circle will become smaller and smaller till it dwindles to a point and finally vanishes.

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A world based on regularity

Soon we will also learn through the words of A Square, that:

our whole social system is based upon Regularity, or Equality of Angles.

So we have a flat world, dominated by Euclidean shapes (yes, Euclidean geometry doesn’t include just regular shapes, but lines too), based on regularity. Your angles should be regular and your sides equal.

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Social classes for regular shapes

Our Women are Straight Lines. Our Soldiers and Lowest Classes of Workmen are Triangles (...) Isosceles. Our Middle Class consists of Equilateral or Equal-Sided Triangles. Our Professional Men and Gentlemen are Squares (to which class I myself belong) and Five-Sided Figures or Pentagons. Next above these come the Nobility, of whom there are several degrees, beginning at Six-Sided Figures, or Hexagons, and from thence rising in the number of their sides till they receive the honorable title of Polygonal, or many-sided. Finally when the number of the sides becomes so numerous, and the sides themselves so small, that the figure cannot be distinguished from a circle, he is included in the Circular or Priestly order; and this is the highest class of all.

Flatland has a very precise, clear, schematic vision of society: you have six sides? You’re a noble. You have four sides? You’re a gentleman. You have five sides? You’re a doctor (a “physician” in the book). You have three sides? You’re a tradesman. You’re a straight line? You’re a woman. Yes, women are females only.

But what if you are an Irregular?

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About Irregulars

Since Flatland is dominated by Regularity and the idea of being regular, then you can imagine how all irregular/weird/divergent things are treated:

``Irregularity of Figure'' means with us the same as, or more than, a combination of moral obliquity and criminality with you, and is treated accordingly. (...) ``The Irregular,'' they say, ``is from his birth scouted by his own parents, derided by his brothers and sisters, neglected by the domestics, scorned and suspected by society, and excluded from all posts of responsibility, trust, and useful activity. His every movement is jealously watched by the police till he comes of age and presents himself for inspection; then he is either destroyed, if he is found to exceed the fixed margin of deviation, or else immured in a Government Office as a clerk of the seventh class; prevented from marriage; forced to drudge at an uninteresting occupation for a miserable stipend; obliged to live and board at the office, and to take even his vacation under close supervision (...)

So, well, the Irregulars are basically considered criminals and if not instantly killed or confined in a hospital, they live at the margins of society. Yay.

So irregulars (and, in general, deformities) are not accepted. But, like, not at all.

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About color

There is a huge portion of the book about color and it’s extremely cool - but also, too long to quote it entirely here. Long story short: color existed in Flatland, but it was suppressed and now they live in a black and white world. Because I suppose that society wasn’t shitty enough as it was, so why not making it even worse.

(Actually there is an explanation and for their kind of society it makes sense. Still, shitty world)

_____________________

About Recognition by Sight

The book vastly explains how these creatures can see and it’s a very clever to see, considering they live in a goddamn 2D world and all they see are fucking lines. And not even colored lines, that could’ve at least helped a bit. Nope, just gray lines. Yay.

Still, they developed a way to see and yes, all they can see are lines, with the edges that fade in the distance. The more blurred they are, the more angles they can find out - thus recognizing if they’re approaching a Square, a Pentagon or a Circle.

All of this works except for women, who are basically deadly spears with a pointy end, so they’re almost invisible. And that’s why they should wag their end all the time, otherwise other shapes might not see them and get pierced through.

Yep, this is fucking hardcore and I love it.

_______________________________

PART 2: OF EXWHYLIA

“I believe Bill came from a similar world that was mysteriously destroyed” - Ford Pines, Journal 3

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A flat world

Ford drew a perfect image of Exwhylia and we can see that yep, it’s a flat surface, with no above or below. It’s just a plane, exactly like Flatland.

_____________________

A world based on regularity

All we know from Exwhylia can be inferred through Ford’s pages. However, two pages are enough to make it clear that this world is based on regularity.

How can I be so sure?

_____________________

Social classes for regular shapes

Ford describes two of these beings as “an upper-class circle” and “a lowly triangle”. So yes, Exwhylia shares the exact same social structure of Flatland: according to your shape, you will get your social class.

It says nothing about women, but considering Ford spent something like 20 seconds inside it, it’s understandable. However, we know for sure that the Exwhylians’ bodies are razor-sharp, because Ford specified it. Pretty cool - and also another reference to Flatland.

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About Irregulars

Ford says that the inhabitants of this world “considered me to be an “Irregular” shape, which is vulgar in their society”.

Sooo… yes, I imagine that this world ostracized Irregulars too, just like Flatland does.

_____________________

About color

Ford says nothing specific about it, so we have no idea if the world is black, white and gray or if there are any colors. We just know that there is no sky and no sun.

However, when he talks about what the Exwhylians can see, Ford draws several lines, says that his eyes can’t help him distinguish these objects, but the Exwhylians can and will interpret the lines differently. This implies there is no color, because if there was, Ford would’ve been able to interpret the lines too, by referring to how they were colored.

So yes, there may be no color in Exwhylia.

_____________________

About Recognition by Sight

Judging from how Ford describes what the Exwhylians can see, we can safely assume these shapes also use Recognition by Sight, just like Flatlanders do.

_______________________________

And with that, we close the premise of what I want to tell about Euclydia. Keep this stuff in mind, it will be useful to understand the topic of tomorrow's post: Euclydia.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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#gravity falls #the book of bill #tbob #the book of bill spoilers #book of bill #book of bill spoilers #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #this is not a website dot com #gravity falls fandom #gravity falls meta #journal 3 #bill cipher #stanford pines #flatland #exwhylia #euclydia #analysis

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