#we have a plant mom on floor 2 on my left

[dnptheinfinity]

microdosing on having a social life by observing what my neighbors do on their balconies and making up their backstories in my head

[erenoir]

𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮

💿 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚏𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚣𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛

genre: single father!toji, slow burn, angst then fluff, nsfw, MDNI

warnings: 18+ dark content, alcoholism, breeding kink, daddy/mommy titles used, unprotected sex, oral sex, verbal fighting, discussions of abandonment, initial toxic relationship, light gun use.

featuring: toji x fem step-mom!reader

summary: you and toji had met each other at your worst, twin flames fueling each other’s bad habits. you spent weeks upon weeks as on-and-off fuck buddies, manipulating and using each other before throwing one another to the curb again. nothing could save the turbulent relationship of a touch-deprived woman and a man afraid of love, never daring to wave your white flags to one another… until the night toji dropped a bomb that would make or break the two of you forever. | find it on ao3: [☆]

word count: 14.9k

a/n: tell jesus that the bitch is back- i’m kidding! no but really, its been a long year (or more?) of me being away from this blog. i haven't done this in a while, but i have too many delusions and thoughts to not make them into stories, i missed writing too much. anyways, if you like this: reblog, comment, check out my other stuff, etc! luv u xx send toji thirsts in honor of szn 2

“Okay now Megs, daddy and I will be back tomorrow morning, okay?” 

Your knees pressed into the cold floor as your fingers tangled themselves in your stepson’s wild, raven locks. The little boy stuck his bottom lip out in protest, your heart swelling at the sight of it. Your thumb met his velvety skin as you stopped a tear from rolling any further down his rouged cheek. 

“I don’t want you and daddy to go!” He wailed, a tiny voice strained with big emotions. The glum boy ran into your open arms, clinging to you like velcro. The creamy silk of your blazer swept across the nape of his neck as you enveloped him into a cozy embrace.

“Oh Megumi, you’ll be alright! Your father and I will just be away for the night. Then tomorrow… I can make you all the pancakes in the world for dinner!” His eyebrows knit together and his rosy nose scrunched up as you shook his face in your hands. Little Megumi's messy, toothless grin punctured your heart so deeply. You adored the boy endlessly, even if he wasn’t your son by blood, a connection so spirited manifested itself between the two of you. 

“Really mommy?! Do you really mean all of the pancakes in the world?” You let a gentle fingertip feather itself across the tip of Megumi’s nose as you rose to your feet to ruffle the boy’s hair, “Of course I mean it baby! Daddy will do whatever it takes to get you every last drop of pancake batter in the whole, wide, world… isn’t that right, honey?”

You shifted your weight to your left foot to get a good look at Toji, Megumi’s father. He planted himself in his usual crushed velvet armchair that rested in front of the fireplace, thighs sprawled out across the plush cushion. His cheek sunk into the palm of his hand as he ogled at his precious family. 

All mine, Toji thought, all fucking mine. 

The brooding man sauntered up to you two with ardency, his husky arms snaking around your waist, pulling your backside into his chest and placing a wet kiss to the crook of your neck. Toji rested his hand atop of Megumi’s hair, nearly drowning your little one’s head with its size. You gazed on dotingly as your lover’s biceps contracted when he picked up your son, cooing him into a comfortable silence. The fireplace illuminated the quaint living space an intimate shade of orange, fractals of light bouncing off of the most hidden corners of the room. The shadow of your lover danced across the walls as he rocked the raven-haired child to sleep. You massaged red fingernails into his burly shoulders, feeling the fabric of his black t-shirt ripple between your fingertips.

“We’re so lucky, aren’t we?” You purred into Toji’s neck as you two caressed the light of your lives, sound asleep in his arms. Toji peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, watching your maternal instincts consume your body as you outstretched your soft hands to the boy. Something within Toji burst in that moment, seeing his lover care for his child as if he were her own. 

“Let me take him to bed, my love.” Dark eyes trailed your steps attentively, watching your hips sway as you cradled his son in your nimble arms, your tender hand nurturing the back of his head, holding it tightly to your chest. His pupils dilated when you started whispering lullabies into Megumi’s ear. A  series of “Mommy loves you,” and “I’ve got you my baby,” made Toji’s jaw clench and every part of him swell with adoration.

—

You once arrived in Toji’s life as a fiery little creature. Wild, uncaring, and foaming at the mouth for attention. He didn’t see you as anything other than a friend with benefits. It was a fair exchange, Toji satiated your need for unhealthy attention as a girl disowned by her distant parents, and you satiated his need for a little rag doll as a hitman with a severe lack of emotional intelligence. He needed a woman that would do most anything to please him and receive the gratification she so desperately craved in return. Room 4C, that was the room you two would run away to every weekend. 

It was a malignant relationship you had, you were unabashedly toxic to one another. Toji would show up drunk on most occasions, and you would allow him to do whatever he wanted to your feeble little body and enjoy every second of it. You would fight just to see who could scream louder, until the misty light from the sun rising sliced through the cracks of the thick curtains. The old motel would’ve kicked you two out if it weren’t for how much business you brought them. Your eyes stung with crazed tears, both of pleasure and pain, and Toji was the one that induced them every time. Every smack to the cheek was met with a tender kiss, and every “I hate you,” was met with a chorus of apologies. You loved each other in wicked ways, but you loved each other nonetheless. You pushed as Toji pulled, never could either of you find a moment of peace to let your fragile emotions rest.

That was until one night where you asked Toji to meet you in your usual room, at your usual time, 8 p.m. Only that night had you two finally waved your white flags and extinguished your venomous behavior to one another.

—

Your toes were painted a wine red as they ran through the fuzzy carpet below you, feet swinging over the twin-sized motel bed. Rain rushed the windows with fervor, the storm warning you had received this morning not clicking in your brain until that very moment. The muffled voices of the news anchors suffocated your eardrums as they grew louder. The silence in the room was painstaking and you didn’t know how much longer you could last solely listening to the rhythmic drips of the leaking bathroom sink. Your eyelids began to droop as the neon leds of the plastic alarm clock flicked from 8:59 to 9:00. The stiff sheets felt like royal silk at that moment, sleep threatening to consume your body. The room around you shut on and off, eyelids blinking slowly, and your mouth dipping into the slightest “o” shape. the cotton of your t-shirt rode up your thighs as you slid yourself under the covers. Toji isn’t coming tonight, truthfully, the thought grazed your mind when it had only been ten minutes after 8, Toji was never any more tardy than that. But as you watched the clock now switch from 9:04 to 9:05, the hint of betrayal that had felt like a pin prick before now felt like you’d just been gutted. 

Your body was swallowed in the darkness of the motel room, though you did leave the news on, maybe the late night anchors could keep you company in your lover’s absence. In your dream you saw the dark eyes that taunted you into submission. How pathetic was it to dream about a man who couldn’t care less about you besides what you had underneath your underwear? In your dream you were running, your earthly body was riddled with cold sweats and shivering into oblivion, you heard pounding, it grew rapidly with every step you took, the beat of your heart staying in time, though the pounding felt too real to be fabricated through your imagination alone.

Then your body jolted awake to a vigorous gust of wind, and suddenly the banging became real, and whoever demanded that kind of attention from you at midnight was about to receive a pounding to their face. With your eyes cloudy and vision blurred, you tried to adjust to the dark blue of your surroundings. 

“Ah, shit!” The stark yellow light of the bedside lamp blinded you, a shaky hand rested on your forehead to act as a shield to the harsh, artificial rays. The comforter of the rigid bed you laid on grew wet, rainwater dripping from the dark figure that stood above your tired body. 

“T-Toji?” You stammered into the abyss, you had no courage to look up and see who had woken you up from your restless slumber. After all, you didn’t want the last thing you saw to be your murderer. 

“No, it’s Megumi,” your hand snapped to your side to see from whom such a soft voice was emitted. Above you stood a small boy with porcelain skin and raven hair, he couldn’t have been more than 6 years old.

My god, you thought, he looks just like-

“Toji is my dad, he said to wait in this room while he- while he got m-more of his happy juice… s-so he pushed me through th-that window a-and n-now my knee is bleeding!”

The young boy who tried to remain stoic eventually broke into a fit of relentless tears. He's a child, he’s a- he’s Toji’s… Toji has a child. Your brain went through the motions, trying to ride every wave of the ocean it was thrown into. 

Until one of those waves truly hit you- and you realized that there was a fucking child in your room.

And all of the sorrow you felt for the boy had turned into pure, unadulterated rage for his poor excuse of a father. 

You peeled yourself from the bed and tripped over the legs of your jeans as you tried to shrug them on while making your way to the door. Your hand stopped at the knob before turning to the kid. 

“Fuck… don’t go anywhere, okay kid?” You mumbled as you fished the pack of Marlboro's from the back pocket of your Levi’s and jammed one into your mouth, busting through the door and into the rainy parking lot… search frantically- ferally, for the one person you were dying to see most.

“Where the FUCK are you?! You asshole!” You screamed, voice cracking. “Show your fucking face you… you coward!” You were speechless, running to the middle of the parking lot, and scanning every dark car for someone hiding out- hiding from you. The rain sunk through your tank top, goosebumps pricking your skin, and then next you felt the tears. He was the last person you wanted to cry for, he didn’t deserve it, the fucker would probably enjoy it if you didn’t know him any better.

“Fuck you!” You seethed, bare feet taking you in circles around the flooded lot. “Fuck! You! I hate you!” The tears finally poked through, staining your cheeks with old mascara.

“You always do this shit Toji Fushiguro! I hope you’re fucking dead! You fucking deadbeat father!”

–

After twenty minutes of your parking lot charades, the motel manager had to nearly drag you back to your room- a freezing cold, screaming maniac. The boy- Megumi, was sitting next to you cross-legged on the bed with a patched up knee and an ice cream sandwich from the vending machine three rooms down. He hummed to the tune of the children’s show that played on the television, swaying back and forth in contentment. The fact that you were babysitting the child of the man that you were fuck buddies with amused you as you scoffed to yourself. 

“You know… your dad didn’t tell me had a kid,” the little boy’s attention remained fixed on the screen, ignoring you completely while his dark eyes memorized the flashes of color and cartoons in front of him. Hm, he really is Toji’s kid. 

“How's your knee, Megs?” Your fingers ran across the pink bandaid you’d stuck over his scrape, making sure the adhesive wasn’t lifting off of his damp skin. Vanilla filling seeped through Megumi’s tiny fingers. Chocolate crumbles littered his plump cheeks as he stuck the final bite of his ice cream sandwich in his mouth, stuffing his cheeks full. 

“My knee is fine!” He mumbled through a full mouth, patting his sticky palm over his wound. Your mind toyed with the idea of whether or not now was a good time to mention his father again, but knowing Toji, if you didn’t mention him he wouldn’t even bother coming back. So keeping the boy’s best interest at heart, you casually brought up his father’s name for a second time. 

“Megumi�� can you tell me where your dad is?” You folded your hands in your lap as you awaited his response. Tears pricked at the boy’s gloomy eyes, a storm just as tumultuous was raging in him as it was outside. Messy palms wiped themselves across his white race car shirt, before they came up to wipe at his face.

“I-I told you… he s-said he was going to get more of his happy juice… he said to wait here with a lady named ___. Th-that’s what he said to do!”

Megumi’s quiet words turned into an erratic tantrum. Tears flooded his eyes as he snorted up a wad of snot, the race car on his shirt slowly starting to drive on wet roads. You were going to kill Toji. You didn’t give a crap about the way he treated you anymore, he had a child who was helpless. And god knows the child was helpless if the person Toji decided to leave him with was you. 

The docile boy leaned sweetly into your arms, begging for some form of comfort, it was evident that he’d never received any from his own father before. The sleeves of your sweater moved hesitantly to wrap themselves around Megumi’s shaking body, afraid that if you were to embrace him fully the dam that’s been holding back all of your emotions would suddenly break. It wasn’t your place to nurture this child, it wasn’t your place to offer him another outlet for parental guidance. But as you sat at the edge of the motel bed with the little boy, it felt as if you were sitting at the edge of a cliff, and you could either sink or swim with Megumi’s life in your hands. The moment you felt his frail arms hug you back, the dam fell, and you were in too deep to stop giving a fuck now. 

You brought a hand to his wild hair. It stuck up in all directions, he told you earlier that he stole some gel from his dad’s bathroom, and that Toji let him do it however he wanted to. You remember laughing at that, seemingly because it sounded like something Toji would say. Your cheek felt cool against the top of his head, his hair still drying from the torrential storm that brewed just outside the window. Every string inside of you that was holding your emotional state together at the seams had ripped in two as Megumi began to sob more violently than before. His red cheeks moved from right to left across your sweater, wiping snot, drool and tears all over you. With thoughts clouded and the slightest knowledge of how to take care of a child flying out the window, you began to panic. Toji had left his offspring, his flesh and blood, with you, his emotionally corrupted, immature, and attention deprived fuck buddy. 

Why?

With tender hands you tuck the covers under Megumi’s petite body. Your heart crumbled completely when you saw how the tears dried on Megumi’s cheeks, how his breathing was congested with mucus, and how his swollen eyes twitched in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. The bed dipped in as you sat beside him and ran fragile fingers over his forehead, sweeping his long hair out of his eyes. For the first time that night you let tears fall from your eyes, as you gazed at the broken child with an instinct to care for him, to help him grow, if Toji wasn’t going to be there to do it. You watched as Megumi’s body relaxed under your touch, his breathing smooth, and his eyebrows drooping. A small smile formed on your face, it was time to fake happiness for this boy, if it meant that he would be okay.

“He’s a g-good kid r-ight?” Your head snapped up as Toji’s overbearing body stumbled through the window, his hand desperately grasping for some kind of support from the wall. God, you really needed to lock that fucking window or god knows what other Fushiguro would trip through it. 

An animosity so intense boiled within you, clawing at your stomach, dying to be taken out on the drunken man stood in front of you. The tears returned to your eyes, his silhouette doubled as your vision blurred. 

“D-don’t you fucking come near me you asshole,” you whispered, there were no words in the world that could’ve described how badly you wanted to scream at Toji until his eardrums popped. Alas you couldn’t… you couldn’t let Megumi see his father like this. 

“Exc-use me but I'd l-like to see my-my son,” words slurred out of his wet lips, a line of saliva falling out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Toji… don’t even think for a second I’d let you near him,” your delicate hands pushed against his steel chest, helplessly punching into him to stop him in his tracks. His strong hands wrapped themselves around your wrists tightly as he looked you in the eyes with an intoxicated heat. 

“Toji… why? Why wouldn’t you tell me you had a fucking child? Is this who you ran away from every weekend we spent together?” Your hand shakily pointed to little Megumi’s sleeping body, “Do you understand how fucked up that makes me feel? How fucked up that makes you? God! I knew you were a piece of shit but Toji… this is rich, this is- this is the icing on the fucking cake… you disgust me!” You whispered as Toji’s hands repositioned themselves to cup your cheeks, his calloused thumbs coming to wipe the lines of mascara running down your face. Although blank and empty, his stare alone spoke a thousand words.

It told you that he was broken, that he was filled to the brink with regret, that he hated- no, absolutely loathed himself. Toji knew he was a piece of shit, he knew he was wrong for hiding his son from you, and he knew he was wrong for hiding you from his son. He had lasted long enough pushing everything under a compact rug until it couldn’t hold much more, and now every fucked up thing in his life was catching up to him, and you were watching it happen right in this depressing, wet, and cramped motel room.

“I-I didn’t know wh-where else to bring him, I-I mean look at me I can’t be with him right now…” Toji fell to his knees and gripped your calves with his hands, crying into the damp denim of your jeans. You stood stiff, frozen in place and in disbelief at what was happening. The brazen man that you knew so well, that dripped with confidence, with ego, with a sense of security, had shattered completely. Toji’s back muscles contracted as he dry heaved onto the floor, the contents of his stomach just missing your feet. He looked up at you with an empty expression. Snot was dripping out of his nose, his jaw was trembling and his face was littered with tears and red splotches.

“Toji-” You reached for him.

“No… please hear m- me out…”

“I'll listen to you… outside…” You fired, “I’m not- I refuse to do this here when your son is sleeping right there!” You hoisted his body up off the floor as the two of you staggered into the storm. He leaned his body up against the door to 4C as you closed it, boring holes into your head, desperate for you to say anything. You wrapped your sweater around you tighter as rain propelled towards your shivering bodies. You two must have looked mad… drenched, drunken and depressed, in the middle of a storm, enveloped in darkness, hugging yourselves as if that would be of any help. Only the light of the moon and from the other motel rooms made it possible for you to see Toji’s face. The sounds of his rabid sobs mixed with the intensity of the rain pelting the ground, the freezing winds icing over his face sobered him up a bit. Toji began speaking as you looked down at your bare feet once again being swallowed by the wet pavement.

“I don’t trust anyone else,” Toji burns a hole into the parking lot with his stare, watching it flood slowly, he didn't have the guts to look at you, not yet. The single traffic light across the street whipped back and forth in the wind, streaks of light painting the foggy air. You leaned up against the door next to Toji, your tiny body being engulfed by his large, shaking one.

“…I didn’t trust a-anyone else w-with Megumi, I’m a threat to my own fucking kid, can you believe that?” You thought about it for a second, and you could completely believe it, the fact that Toji hid his son from you for this long should’ve spoken for itself. Your somber silhouettes shivered against the outside of the motel, both of your minds racing to deliberate how you would work yourselves through this mess. You almost wanted to laugh, the last people on this earth you would expect to be parents were you and Toji. With the breath kicked out of you, you slid down to the pavement and let yourself hit the ground. You hugged your knees with your shuddering hands and watched the cars slowly maneuver their way around the dimly lit parking lot. Toji’s hand navigates its way to the top of your head and smooths his fingers over your hair.

“Toji… I just have so many questions-”

“So ask them,” for once you looked at him with soft eyes, his voice trembled every time he spoke, you could try to fill the shell of a fractured man with love, with empathy, but everything you could possibly give him would just seep through the cracks of his ego. 

“…I keep my circles small… so I didn’t have many options of who to leave the kid with… you’re the only person that I’ve allowed myself to get close to…” He ran a hand over his face, his body began to sink down next to you, extending his legs flat to the ground as his pants soaked with rainwater, “and you haven’t rejected me yet so I threw one more thing on you… is that okay?” 

Was it okay? Of all the fucked up things you and Toji have done together, you scoffed in disbelief as your hands began to trace circles on the flooding ground beneath you, swirling rainwater in between your fingers.

“…and his mother?” Your voice cracked as your heart sank at what you could only predict his answer would be. Toji's jaw stiffened, grinding it back and forth as he reached for a pack of soggy cigarettes from his back pocket. 

“Shit,” he muttered. He rung out the pack of smokes in his strong hold, the damp paper pushing between the cracks of his fingers. You looked at him and he looked straight ahead, watching small ripples form in the puddles of water upon impact from the rain.

“She’s dead… died when he was just born,” your chest weakened at his words, eyes overwhelmed with sorrow. Toji's lips began to tremble as he tried to bite back his tears. He was tired of crying, tired of not being strong anymore, and tired of not being a good father, for that’s the strongest thing a man could ever be. 

“…So the kid got stuck with me… he- I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve to be a father to a kid as good as him…” In his most vulnerable state, you chalked up the courage to take his hand in yours and rub your thumb over his scarlet knuckles. You sat like that for a while, legs sprawled out over the drenched concrete, the ends of your feet grazing each other ever so softly.

“Toji…” your voice came out barely above a whisper, “…don’t say that… Megumi needs you,” Toji’s breath hitched in his chest as he coughed back the urge to cry anymore, “Megumi needs you to get better for him… that kid- he looks up to you so fucking much. He sat next to me for an hour talking about you alone.”

You pulled your knees into your chest and buried them under your sweater to shield your icy legs from the cold. You felt Toji’s blue eyes burn holes into the side of your head, he was desperate for any taste of guidance.

“You’re lying… the kid barely knows me, he”-

“So help him know you! Toji you can’t fucking give up on that kid… and you sure as hell can’t dump him on me and expect me to make up for the years you neglected him! I won’t fucking do it, not without you…” Your screams broke into a whisper. 

You wanted Toji. You wanted him a month ago when he was just an asshole without a kid, and you want him now that he’s just an asshole with a kid. You shifted your body to sit closer to his, his silhouette swallowing yours in size as you curled up next to him on the concrete. Resting your head on his shoulder, he inched his hand towards yours to lift your knuckles to his lips and kiss them gently, one by one.

“Toji…” you continued, your eyes not leaving the ground, “I want to be with you, I want to love you- and if Megumi comes with you I’ll love him too… that’s what you’re asking of me, yeah?” You lifted your head to look at him, leaving your faces only inches apart as you gazed into each other’s eyes. Toji nodded his head slowly, he never asked for help, it was a sign of vulnerability. But the kid was the only exception for Toji, he always has been. He'd always absorb everything like a sponge until he physically couldn’t hold any more dirty water, tearing every time he had to ring out all of his baggage. 

“You wanna know why you’re an asshole?” You’re probed, finally striking a light on one of his gnarly cigs and blowing the smoke onto his face. The scarred corner of his mouth twitched upward, enough for only you to notice. 

“Pray tell, doll.” He chuckled in a husky voice, his calloused hand reaching for the cigarette you held before you smacked it away. He scoffed, “That came from my pack, you know?” 

“The least you could do for me is bum me a cig, no?” You jabbed, the burning cherry hanging from your fingers as your hand bounced around with your words. 

Silence. 

“Well… you’re an asshole Fushiguro…” You continued without any more permission, hesitant to tell him what you wanted to. You feared you’d opened up too much already. Your tongue dragged over your teeth as you worked out your next sentence. 

“You-“ You took a long drag, “You are a raging dick, actually. Because-” you paused to look over at him, and surprisingly enough, you had his complete attention. And his eyes weren’t hardened but- soft. And his breathing was less ragged than it was ten minutes ago. You swallowed hard as his eyes dropped to your mouth. 

“You know you could hop on the next train out of here with no intention of seeing me again…” You whispered. “And I’d fucking love the shit out of that kid regardless, right?” He smirked at your choice of words, Toji tried hard not to love things, in the end everything he gets close to fades away and dies. But he believed that he loved you, and he loved the way you were prepared to drop everything to nurture the most secret part of his life. All he could do was stare at your face, gentle, warm, and glowing in the rain. Though it felt like the whole world was after him he felt safe next to you, and he despised the feeling, for it meant that he was prepared to give himself to someone for a second time, and he wasn’t ready to lose another. 

“And that’s why I left him with you,” he smirked. He winced as you smacked him across the face, your eyes wide and feral.

“Yeah I know, I know that’s why you did it you fuck!” You scream-whispered, still mindful of Megumi just behind the door. “But don’t expect me to be- h-hot shit at this mother thing- I won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus if it means protecting him!” 

You were standing now, and you were pacing, and reality was hitting you, and the adrenaline rush you were riding for the past thirty minutes was wearing off and you were scared. Your hand shook as you rose the dwindling cigarette to your lips, your body shaking from both the rain and the kiss of reality. Struggling to inhale from the damp bud, Toji cut off your train of thought.

“I know you won’t, that’s why I left him with you,” he said sternly, his figure now towering over yours. He grabbed his face in your hands, and it was just as much a loving act as it was a ‘I need you to get your head on straight and focus’ act. He pushed your cheeks in and shook your face ever so slightly, “You listen to me- That. Is. Why. I. Left. Him. With. You.” 

He spoke roughly, dividing every word with a quick pause so you could get it through your head. He pressed his forehead to yours so you were eye to eye. “Hey,” he brushed some matted hair away from your wet forehead. You knew he saw the tears welling in your eyes, and you wish you could push him away so he could never see you cry again. But you couldn’t, you felt that you loved him far too much to do that. Your shoulders shook as you let them fall, you cursed yourself for letting it happen. 

“Fucking listen to me,” Toji jabbed, “I left him with you because you- you don’t fear me. You will throw me under the bus, you’ll push me in front of a fucking train, for that kid,” he actually laughed at the thought, “I know no other person that will hold me accountable- even if it meant my bloody death.” 

You shook yourself out of his hold, throwing your burnt out cigarette on the ground between you two, setting an imaginary border so you could think clearly away from him. 

“Are you sober enough to hear me out?” You asked quietly but not lacking any ounce of aggression. 

“Since you slapped the living shit out of me? I’d say I’m pretty okay,” Toji took one step towards you before you stopped him in his tracks.

“You stay over there and you listen to me,” you growled. You nervously rung out your hands, pulling on every knuckle and joint while you spoke. 

“… I hope you don’t… run away.” You paused, “No- actually, you will not run away,” Your words left your mouth like you were prophesying commandments to a lost disciple. “He needs you with him, Toji. He is tired of you disappearing.”

Toji listened to you like your voice was the last thing he’d hear in his life, yet he wanted you to stop talking. The more you spoke the more bound to the tracks he felt, and he had never been bound to anything before, he did as he pleased, always. So Toji prayed you wouldn’t utter another word that would keep him here. He had to leave, if he stayed you would get hurt, that’s how it always went. But with every word that left your mouth you pulled him in and glued him to the ground he stood on. 

He let out an exasperated sigh as you wrapped a hand in his hair, using it as leverage to push your foreheads back together. He was speechless, there was so much he could say to you, to convince you to kick him to the curb, but his words were stuck in his throat.

“I am tired of you disappearing,” the ropes that kept his body bound to the tracks drew tighter, and in the distance he saw the headlights of a train inching closer by the second.  

“I know you think it’s hopeless, that it’s not even worth trying, but your son having any shot at living a normal life is worth fighting for… Toji, please-” 

And then the train struck him, just as promised, this wouldn’t be the last one you pushed him in front of. 

Your grip on Toji’s hair loosened as his lips crushed themselves onto yours. He pulled you closer, needed you closer, hugging you into his chest as you caressed the sides of his face with your hands, thumbs rubbing at his scarred cheekbones. You tasted like salvation. Toji knew deep down that you were his salvation. 

“I’m not asking you to fix me, I’m way past that- I'm just asking you to be patient… for the kid.” He whispered against your lips, the tears that littered your cheeks dampened his. “I care…” he swallowed his words, “...I care about you- alot.”

“Jesus fuck, did it kill you to say that?” For the first time that night you laughed genuinely, and Toji’s mind was clear. It was carved in stone, he had claimed you and now he’s responsible for your life now, alongside Megumi’s. He raised his hands off your hips as if you were a fragile porcelain doll, too afraid to hurt you now that he’s held you- truly, held you. You looked at him questioningly, already missing the feeling of his skin against yours.

“I don't want you to get hurt… I don’t want Megumi to lose anyone else, he needs something I’m afraid I can’t give to him-”

“Shut up,” your eyebrows furrowed together as you shook his head gently, “Don’t go there… you dumb fuck,” bringing his lips to yours once more, he finally released under your touch, the feeling of you safe and in his arms put his restless thoughts to bed.

“I'm here, Megumi is sleeping soundly inside… we’re gonna be okay. Everything is a fucking mess. Because you did kind of fuck it, but we’ll figure it out,” you insisted, taking his hands in yours and placing them on your heart. Toji dropped his head to the crook of your neck and closed his eyes as the soft thump of your heartbeat grazed against his fingertips.

“Do you feel that? I’m alive you asshole… I’m not dead yet.”

—-

Toji knew you would stick around for a while.

He was right, because here you were, two years later, with Megumi cradled in your arms as you carried him up the winding steps of your Victorian home, placing soft kisses on his forehead and lulling him to sleep. Today was the anniversary of that night at the motel, when you met Megumi for the first time and decided to help Toji care for him even when you were entirely lost yourself. You haven’t been back there since, you three left the next morning on a train and never looked back. You told Toji that if you did it would be bad luck, so he kept moving forward for you and his son, to finally give him a life he deserved. But tonight you two thought it would be nice to visit one more time, on your anniversary, just for old time’s sake.

Toji watched as you tiptoed back down the steps and gave him a gentle thumbs up, signaling that Megumi had finally fallen asleep. Toji wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up into him, peppering kisses all over your blushing face. You placed a sloppy kiss onto his lips before jumping down and giving him a little twirl.

“C’mon baby, let’s go!” You wrapped your hand in his and dragged him to the door. His face relaxed into a content smile, after all this time, his little bird was still as free as ever.

—

Around your neck you donned a good locket that Toji had gotten you for your birthday, it moved up and down against your chest as you took deep breaths standing in front of an old friend. The door to room 4C looked just as you left it, with a few more cracks here and there. Your body shuddered as you looked down at the ground in front of it, still feeling the presence of your younger self clad in a drenched sweater, curled up next to a younger, drunken Toji. A warm smile spread across your face as you remembered how scared you two were, unsure of the world and without a plan, shivering in the pouring rain as you thought about your futures together. 

Tonight the sky was clear, the only thing that surrounded you was the sound of cicadas singing. You looked up to your side as you felt Toji’s fingers intertwined with yours, holding onto your hand loosely. He looked down at you and smirked, although you two were much more mature and cared about whether you lost your lives or not for Megumi’s sake, deep down you two would always be the notorious fuck-ups that happened to fit perfectly together.

“Wanna wreck some havoc one last time?” he asked you. You giggled as your hand twirled the brass doorknob, entering the room that you and Toji made love in more times than you could count, the room that you got high in, got drunk in, the room that you fought in, that you threw television remotes at each other in… the room that you eventually fell in love in.

Your fingertips grazed the stiff blankets, the cherry red countertops, the cheap coffee maker, as you took every detail in. Everything was left just the way it was on the night. You let out a chuckle underneath your breath as you sunk your fingers into the mattress, remembering how Megumi’s body slept here soundly as you and Toji decided what the fuck you were to make of yourselves just outside.

“I'm glad you pushed Megumi in here that night…” you whispered as you lifted the blanket up, they could never remove the stain of his chocolate ice cream sandwich from the white sheets. Toji watched as you reminisced, taking in every inch of you, before your eyes finally met as you dragged your gaze across the tacky flower paintings that decorated the walls. Your eyes rested on his face as you drank the sight of him in. Toji was happy, he was at peace with what his life had turned out to be.

“The way it all happened was absolutely fucking ridiculous I hope you know that…” You rolled your eyes at him as he crossed his arms and leaned up against the kitschy wallpaper. “...but I wouldn't change a thing, it happened the way it did for a reason.” 

He watched as your hips swayed back and forth underneath your black slip dress, his heartbeat speeding up as you draped your arms around his neck and leaned him further back into the wall. Toji, the hardened man that could effortlessly punch through anything that looked at him the wrong way, softened immediately when he was with you. You were his biggest source of strength, but his ultimate weakness nonetheless.

“Hold me, Toji,” you whispered as you brought your lips to his, feeling his brute arms tie themselves around your tiny waist, “…I love you baby,” you murmured as your lips moved against his.

“Thank you,” Toji had spoken for the first time since you two entered the room, too enamored with you to form any coherent words until this point. He watched as the orange light from the bedside table illuminated the back of your head, the halo of light framed your face like an angel.

“What?” you continued to pepper kisses all over his face, gently alternating back and forth from each cheek as your fingers played with his dark hair.

“For saving me… for loving Megumi… you didn’t have to fucking do that… you could’ve been free but you chose this life,” he pulled you up into him, shoving his face into your neck and taking in your scent. Toji was deathly afraid of losing you, so when he held you, he held you like it was going to be the last time he’d ever get to. You were his second chance at life, and if he could, he’d have you by his side forever.

“And I wouldn’t have chosen any different.” You croaked, your fingernails grazing the back of his neck. 

“I wanted you then Toji and I still want you now, heaven and hell would have to meet on this earth to get me to stop loving you…” Your words were barely above a whisper, making sure they were for him and only him. Toji’s lips began to move against your neck and his hand tugged your head back by your hair, giving him more room to mark you. 

“Toji, plea-“ You whined breathlessly, eyebrows furrowing together as everything inside you became bubbly and grew more sensitive with every touch. 

“Have you ever thought about…” His lips paused against your neck, his grip on you tightening before he let up, “Fuck it, nevermind.” He shut himself down before he could even finish his thought. You nudged his head out from where it was hiding on your shoulder and forced him to look at you. You always found it funny that you held such a threatening man like putty in your hands.

“No… say it, tell me please,” you rested your hands on either side of his face, letting him know it was okay, you gleamed up at him as the flashes of the television reflected in your eyes, his heart swelled at the sight of you. Toji broke his eye contact with you, anxious of how you’d respond to his question. Toji was anxious. And you could feel it. And then his jaw clenched before his grip on you tightened once again, even now he couldn’t let the fortress that he hid inside break. 

“Have you ever thought about… having another kid?” His eyes were dark, and a grin almost devious teased the corners of his mouth, and all of a sudden you felt how you did two years ago. And the Toji you fell for was standing there and he was so close to you and you were in his arms. He was teasing you like you were helpless teenagers in love. And though you loved Megumi so deeply- he was safe with the nanny at home… and you and Toji were just you and Toji again. You wanted him as fiercely as you did two years ago, and you wanted him to make love to you the way he did two years ago. Everything had been so gentle since you two were last here, and you watched Toji grow into an amazing father. You understood that he treated you like glass because he didn’t want to lose you like he has everyone else. And he was so good to you. But fuck, he was too good sometimes and you wanted that asshole back. 

You pushed yourself into his chest and nudged his face in your direction with your nose, smiling softly as you watched a storm brew in his eyes alone. Your breasts nearly spilled out of the neckline of your dress as you pressed your chest to his. You felt him tense as you licked your way up from his neck to his ear, placing a kiss on the sensitive skin behind it. 

“Toji… I think about it everyday,” you whispered, his grip around your waist tightened as he exhaled sharply, as if he was holding himself back. 

“Do you think about a boy or girl?” He teased, beginning to trace his fingers on your thighs just below the hem of your dress. Your body instinctually moved into his, your words caught in your throat and your eyes lost in his. Toji smirked down at you, watching the way you curled around his finger so easily.

“Hey,” he snapped, taking your chin in a firm hold, “What did I ask you, princess? Stay with me.” 

His other hand that remained just underneath your ass rose a few inches to give it a taught squeeze. He chuckled softly watching you twitch at the sensation. With your chin still in his hand he snapped your face to the left, pressing his nose against your cheek and inhaling deeply, before placing a hard, sloppy kiss to it.

“Tell me.” He pushed your face back so it was an inch away from his, “Do you want me to give you a boy or a girl?” 

The stench of lust stained the walls, the carpets, the bedsheets, your clothes… it stuck to everything. This fucking room made the two of you feral. Toji had you melting in his hands and you wanted him to mold you to fit perfectly to him. Your hands traced down to his chest, feeling the muscles that pulled underneath his fitted black shirt. You took handfuls of the fabric into your fists as you smashed your lips to his, and he reciprocated immediately, like he was a robot built to respond to your commands. His hands flew everywhere, feeling every inch of you. They traced your thighs, slipped under your dress and up your spine, they traced the curves of your breasts and trailed up your neck, before stopping at the back of your head, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. He wanted you to mix together like a forbidden cocktail, whiskey and vodka, dark and light, never to be put together but when they are, they can be deadly. 

You pushed from his unforgiving hold, to look up at him, the two of you breathing heavily, gasping for air like all that was left in the room was sucked out of it. You stumbled backwards as he watched you quizzically, wondering why the fuck you weren’t glued to him right now. You wanted him to see you, fully. So you stopped walking backwards until your legs hit the end of the bed. 

Slowly, your fingers toyed with the hem of your dress, your cheeks heating as Toji smirked and crossed his arms. He watched you with a tilted head and his tongue poking at his cheek, in disbelief that you were his. But his smile dropped when you took hold of your dress and inched it up your soft skin, revealing the lace panties you had been wearing. Then you pushed the silk fabric past your belly button, and Toji could only imagine how that stomach would look big and swollen with his child. You stopped there, and slowly dragged your hands around your stomach, before they rested on top of your womb, your eyes never leaving one another. 

“I don’t care about the gender of the baby… as long as it’s our baby and we take care of it together,” you whispered as you fixed your gaze on Toji’s chest, too nervous to look him in the eye. A primitive feeling ignited within him as he witnessed those words leave your mouth. Someone wanted him, not for dirty work, not to be used, but to love him and share a love with him, he never thought himself capable of feeling compassion for another like this in his life. He wanted to claim you in every sense of the word, fill you up, and burn his name onto your heart. 

“You wanna give me a baby?” He growled from across the room, his shadows reached you from six feet away and enveloped your body, the vibrato of his voice shooting straight to your core. The idea of Toji marking you permanently made your insides curl, wet at the thought of it. Your eyes filled with lust and need, begging him to take you right here. He lost all of his senses as he looked at you turning into a needy little thing for him, breasts supple and on display as they heaved up and down. He imagined how they'd swell and fill with milk for his child, his gaze shot up to your lips, wet as you bit and licked at them, stains of the dark lip liner you had put on before you left, remaining on your skin like a ghost. Then they shot to your eyes, nearly tearing up with need, need to be touched and his completely. Something in you shifted when his gaze softened and his stance relaxed. 

“Fuck… I wanna give you a baby Toji.” You whispered as you felt the first tear roll down your cheek, and within seconds Toji was up against you once more, lips molding to yours and his hands tangled in your hair. The weight and force of him pushed you back as you prepared to hit the bed. You took one of his hands from behind your head and placed it on your stomach, pausing from the kiss to look at him, saying all you needed to tell him with the one stare. 

The rubber band inside of him snapped in that moment, he was madly in love with you, and the way you cared for Megumi so tenderly drove him up a wall. Watching you rock him to sleep, cook him breakfast in the morning, dance carelessly around the living room with him in your arms- he wanted to do it all over again with you, and start at the very beginning this time. He nodded frantically and wordlessly as he laid you back on the bed, pulling the heels off your feet as he crawled over you until he’d pushed you to the head of the bed, eyes never leaving yours. His lips met your collar bone, sucking on the skin that peaked beneath the strap of your dress, you wrapped a hand in his hair and pushed him into your chest as you whimpered, desperate for more.

He pulled his lips from your skin, placing a chaste kiss on the fresh bruise he mouthed onto your chest before placing a strong hand on your stomach, the other bringing itself to your head to make you look at him.  

“Fuck, princess… tell me what you want again.” He whispered, pushing down on the soft skin of your stomach and tracing circles around your belly button with his thumb. Something about that movement turned you feral, as Toji hit all the right spots within you with his words. You crashed your lips into his as you growled into his throat, staking your claim on him. Toji was yours, and you wanted to make sure he knew it. 

“M’hm…” You hummed as you rotate your hips into his thighs, “I wanna have your baby,” Toji squeezed your thighs before he pushed the rest of your dress up above your head, nearly panting as he watching your breasts spill out. He took one nipple into his mouth and the other in his hand, your body arching at the sudden change of pace. He sucked and twirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, the other hard and taught between the rough pads of his fingers. You always loved the way Toji could handle you, he was the only man that was ever able to give you exactly what you needed. It had always been that way, just you and him, becoming experts in each other’s bodies, memorizing every curve and trigger that made one another sing. 

He lifted himself up from your breasts so that his face was hovering above yours and your head was trapped between his arms, he looked at you… and for a second you could’ve sworn you saw sadness wash over his face.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you and I'll do it, tonight you have me completely,” Toji whispered, tracing the contours of your face. You hid in his shadows, unsure what to make of that statement. Your breathing was ragged as you searched his face for the cause of the sudden gloom he casted over the bed you two occupied. You reached up to trace the dips of his jaw and cheekbones, back around his head before your fingers lingered over his lips. 

“Toji, what’s wrong?” You asked wearily, “Don’t I have you completely every other night we spend together?” His gaze saddened, and this time it definitely had. You grew incredibly nervous, because despite the fact that you had Toji for two years… deep, deep down, you knew that he was a force that couldn’t be tamed.  

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. He laid his body weight on top of you, caging you into him as if to protect you from an impending doom. 

“And because I can’t lose you…” Your breath hitched in your throat at his next set of words. You couldn’t let him finish. 

“Toji… no.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around his back and hugging him into you. 

“I’m sorry, I have to.” He shook in your hold, his hand wrapping around the back of your head and pushing it into his neck as you began to sob. You struggled to escape his grasp, you needed to fucking breathe. 

“Toji… get the fuck off of me.” You bit through tears, but he wouldn’t budge. 

“Let fucking go of me!” You pushed, squirming away when you felt him loosen up. You tripped your way out of the bed and hid yourself in the corner of the room, between the big TV and the bathroom. You sheltered your naked body by crossing your arms over your chest and your sobs became uncontrollable. You burned holes into his back as he knelt on the bed with his hands unfolded in his lap, he stared at them, empty and without you in them. 

“I have to leave-“ He began. 

“Shut up.” You whispered, begging him to stop.

“It’s the only way you and Megumi will be safe.” He pushed. 

“I don’t fucking care-“

“You don’t care about my son?” He screamed into the void of the bedsheets, the palms of his hands digging at his weary eyes. The statement shook you, it clawed at the deepest parts of you and ripped them out. Left you gutted. 

“How f-fucking dare you…” You choked, his back was still turned to you. You looked around the room in frantic disbelief, fists punching at your head. “You can at least turn around… and fucking LOOK AT ME… While you tell me that I don’t care about MY SON!”

You were towering above him now, for once in the years you had known this man the power dynamic had shifted. What was different was that you’d experienced another kind of love, and that love left you with a reflex that would cut anyone that threatened it. Toji had been training you up for this moment, the one where he would finally say he was leaving again, and you’d have to be there for Megumi on your own. 

You shoved at his back and he didn’t budge, so you shoved again, and again he didn’t budge. 

“He’s my son too….” You seethed, “ And I will not let you sit there with your back turned to me…” You continued as you rounded the bed so you were facing him. “Just so you can fucking tell me that I don’t care about him!” 

He kneeled as still as a statue, the silence surrounding him almost sickening. And the more you stared at Toji, the more you wanted to laugh. You were not going to fall for his bullshit game again, because in the two years that you’ve loved him you’ve also learned him. 

“You’re a coward, Toji…” You shot to kill. “If you meant what you said you can look me in the eye and say it again.” 

Knowing he wouldn’t budge, you crawled onto the bed and kneeled beneath him, forcing yourself to look up into his eyes. They looked empty. 

“Go ahead and tell me that I don’t love my son, Toji,” you smirked, eyes wild and alight as they were when Toji first set eyes upon you years ago, when he knew he had to have you. You grabbed his chin and tilted it upwards as you crawled into his lap, straddling him so he had nowhere to go, nothing else to look at but you, nothing else to feel but you. You put your lips to his and growled, nothing but heat laced in your words. 

“Be a man… be a father… and tell me that I don’t love my fucking son.” A tear slipped down his cheek, and you could see mountains move in his eyes and you watched the walls of that fortress crack after two years. His hands fell to your hips, locking you in. 

“I can’t,” he whispered, “I can’t tell you that.” Sorrow held heavy in his gaze, as he tried to kiss you with your lips on his. You wouldn’t let him, pushing his face back into place. 

“Then tell me… why you would lie to me Toji,” you asked softly, your sadness, your embarrassment returning. “Why would you leave me again? Have I not been good enough-“

“No,” he cut you off, “No, never.” 

“Then what is it! Tell me why you’re leaving- again!”  You sobbed, your vision of him blurry now. Your hands wrapped around the back of his head as you pulled his body into your bare chest, feeling the wetness of his cheeks against your breasts. You dropped your head into the crook of his neck and sobbed, “What haven’t I done to make you see how much I love you?” 

“It’s not what you didn’t do,” he resolved, “It’s what you did do.” You shook as his fingers kissed up and down your spine. “You have done everything- I could’ve asked for. I am scared of the way I love you… and I am scared of the way you love me.” He tried to pull your face from his neck but you were the immovable statue this time. 

“Look at me,” He says sternly, forcing you from your hiding spot. He places a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I have never loved someone so much. I can’t stay away from you and I think that’ll be our downfall if I don’t leave now. My plan was never to stay, I was going to leave you with Megumi… but god, you’re like a fucking magnet. Of course I stumbled in after him and when I saw you sitting on that bed with him… my fate with you was set in stone, princess.” 

You were a blubbering baby, your hands holding his face as your thumbs rubbed his cheeks back and forth, like they were trying to memorize every scar and curve. You kissed his cheek as he continued, “It is everything you have made me… that’s the reason I have to leave. My work isn’t safe, once they know how soft I’ve become you will be the first people they target.” 

“Toji, I d-don’t care!” You blurted out, “I don’t care… I can take care of myself, I can take care of Megumi. Teach me then, huh? Teach me to f-fight o-o-or use a gun… please Toji… I need you here.” You weren’t even sure of what you were saying, you were just saying anything to keep him here longer. 

“You are all I have left-“ He pushed. 

“As you are to me!” You bit back. 

“Toji, you are all I have… please… please can we try?”

You practically begged, “What about our baby? Was that all just shit to get me to sleep with you one last time? Hm?” 

“No, of course not!” He shot back, words fiery and filled with passion. 

“So you were gonna what? Toji? Knock me up and leave?” You asked silently, holding your eye contact with him. “Because I really wanted- I really wanted to have that with you.” 

He bit back tears, swallowing deeply as you drilled into him. He just shook his head, if he wanted to keep you in his life he had to do this. He had to let you go. He gently pushed you off of him one last time, wincing when he felt you reach for him, your hand gracing his. 

“N-no Toji… no, please,” you begged, his heart tearing as he walked closer to the door, gathering his things slowly. He jolted when he felt your small body press into his back, hugging him from behind and shaking. It took everything in him to fight the urge to place his hand over yours. But feeling you slide to the floor behind him made him turn around to look at you. He had done it, he had broken you, and for the first time in his life he was disgusted that he had done that to someone. 

“Get up,” he choked. 

You refused. 

“Get. Up!” 

“No.”

“I’m not leaving you on the floor like this-“

“Then don’t fucking leave! You asshole!” You screamed at him wildly, smacking at his legs with weak jabs, the picture of a child throwing a tantrum. 

“If you ever loved me or Megumi you would stay!” You cried, “You would stay… and you would try for us…” 

“You can’t say that-“

“Yes I can because it’s true,” you shot your words at him like bullets leaving a gun, short and quick, one after the other. 

“When I agreed to take Megumi under my care… I said I would do it only if you stayed with me. I said I wasn’t going to let you run away. And if you think for a second that I didn’t mean it then you really are fucking dense Fushiguro.” 

Toji’s mouth quirked at the sound of you using his surname, you haven’t done that for a while. He set his sights on you for a reason all those years ago, he knew you were strong, he knew you were unwavering. He just never thought he’d meet someone as stubborn if not more stubborn than him. That’s why he knew you were the one he was going to leave Megumi with. And even now as he looked down at you he knew he made the right decision. You would chase him into the parking lot naked if he made a run for it and he knew that. No one was better for his family than you. His heart dropped when he felt your hand reach up to his, releasing him from his train of thought. You were beautiful. And he was sorry. And stupid for thinking that this wasn’t going to go over without a fight. He tightened his grip on your hand and knelt down to kiss it. Every knuckle. Every fingertip. And he knelt into your touch when you cradled his face.

You saw him make a swift movement from the corner of your eye, and you couldn’t move fast enough when you felt a piece of heavy metal weigh down your hand. In it Toji had placed a gun, you knew he always carried one but he’d keep it concealed around you. So you’d never actually seen it. To be holding it right now… you didn’t know what to do. You watched him as he moved to kneel behind you, his hand never leaving yours that held the revolver. 

You gasped as he brought an arm around your waist, fixing your posture so you were upright. And he adjusted your arms so the gun was pointing at the door of the motel room. His hands laid loosely over yours and his head rested in the crook of your neck. Your breathing grew heavy when he traced from your hand all the way back to your upper arm, fixing its position and propping it up at a 90 degree angle. 

“It’s like a dance, you see.” He whispered into your ear. 

“If you hold it properly, and give it room to move,” he loosened your grip on the trigger. 

“Not too tight, princess…” You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“It’ll hit all the right steps…” His finger covered yours on the trigger and you felt your heart stop, “and you’ll shoot ‘em dead.” 

“Bang!” Toji mimicked the sound of a gun as you jumped backwards into him and screamed, eyes squeezed shut. But you didn’t feel the reverb of the gun, you didn’t hear anything piercing the wooden door, only the vibration of Toji’s low chuckle in his throat. You turned around to see him propped up on both arms, staring at you in amusement while you stared at him in shock. 

Your hands shook as you examined the gun in your hands, before looking back up at his smiling face. His hands covered yours as he slowly took it out of your grip. 

“What the fuck, Toji?” You whispered, scared as if you’d actually shot something. 

“Safety’s on, sweetheart.” He teased, wrapping an arm around your neck and bringing you into him to place a wet kiss on your mouth. “I’ll let you do the real thing once you start getting good.” 

“What?” You stared at him in disbelief, but he didn’t miss that glimmer of excitement in your eyes. 

“I’ll teach you how to use a gun, I’ll teach you to fight, I’ll teach you whatever you want to know… so we can keep our kid safe.” He whispered, looking down at you with a warm smile on his face. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes…” He whispered, “…I love you.” He added. 

“I love you too,” you almost didn’t believe it. 

“I mean it… I love you.” He repeated, like he could read your mind. But you were still hurt, and angry, and everything bad you could feel you felt. 

“I- prove it to me… that you mean it… I’ve proved myself to you enough tonight Toji… and I won’t stand to be made a fool,” your words bit, and you hope he felt them draw blood. Toji pulled you back into his chest and buried his face in your hair, taking in your scent. 

“You want me to prove it?” He whispered. His hands start to trail up your thighs, his mouth begins to place kisses on your neck. You sighed at his touch, placing your hands over his on your body. 

“Mhm,” you whimpered, leaning into his chest, your body becoming overly sensitive to his movements again. Toji’s hands pushed at your thighs, “Open up for me, princess.” You did as you were told, sliding your feet slowly so they could meet his boots on the carpeted floor, putting your clothed heat on display for him. He continued to draw circles on your thighs, more forcefully now, inching your legs open wider. 

“T-Toji, please,” you choked out, growing impatient. 

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered in your ear, sliding his hand under the waistband of your panties, his cold fingers scorched by your hot skin, “Come on… tell me, pretty girl. Had no problem biting my head off a moment ago.” 

“Fuck you,” you seethed through gritted teeth, trying to amass any pleasure from rutting your hips upwards. 

“Suppose I deserved that,” he chuckled, you could feel his chest shaking against your back. You leaned back into him and swung either of your legs over his highs, opening yourself up wide and demanding he touch you. “Dirty girl, that’s how you got tangled up with me in the first place- were just too damn needy…” His hand slipped under the crotch of your panties and you jerked as he placed his palm flat against you. Toji hissed at the wetness that met his skin, grabbing a handful of the slinky lace into his fist and tearing the cheap fabric off your body, “I’ll have to get you new ones.” 

“Please, Toji, please,” you were practically whimpering, begging for him. Jolting as he slapped your waiting cunt once, catching you off guard as you hissed at him. You placed your hand around his forearm and guided it as he massaged the sting of his strike out. 

“Tell me-“ He began again, letting his fingers slide up and down your folds, collecting all of the wetness before bringing them up to your mouth. You looked up at him behind you and he simply raised a brow, silently suggesting that you knew what to do. You took his hand in yours and dipped your mouth down onto the two fingers he pulled from beneath you, licking and sucking your arousal off of them. 

“Good girl, now tell me…” He pulled his fingers from your mouth and shoved them back down to your weeping heat, this time pushing them in and curling them upwards, holding you in place as your body contracted. 

“T-oji my god!” You gasped at the sudden movement. He shushed you, pressing his lips to your ear as his fingers writhed inside of you, “Shhh… tell me about how you’ve dreamed about giving me another baby,” Toji insisted, a glimmer of that ego shining through as he continued his ministrations, more aggressively this time, beginning to pump two fingers in and out of your cunt. 

“Mph-fuck, Toji please-” His fingers continued, pushing in and out of you, kissing your ear when your head dropped back onto his shoulder.

“Tell me, pretty girl, and I’ll give you more,” he began to speed up, wrapping his spare arm around your torso to hold you flush against him, spreading his thighs further, ensuring that your legs spread with him. You moaned at the action, rutting your hips up into his hand as you gave him what he wanted. 

“I- I’ve dreamed about it since we first bought the house together…” He began to place chaste kisses on your neck, sucking on the supple skin, adding a third finger inside of you. “Fuck… that’s too much To-”

“I think you can take it, how could you have my kids if you can’t even take three of my fingers, princess?” He started to pump slowly, letting you adjust to the size. “Now, go on.”

Your breathing was disorderly, your hands grabbing onto his thighs as you felt yourself swallow the girth of his fingers whole. “Ah- okay… w-we bought the house a-and, I think…” You thought back to the first time you set foot in the house after it was officially yours, you were in love with the Victorian architecture and since you loved it Toji loved it even more. 

“I think watching you paint Megumi’s room that bright blue… seeing you covered in paint… making sure e-everything was perfect for him.” You hadn’t even noticed him speeding up, until he started circling your clit with his thumb and you could’ve sworn you were gonna explode. “Toji- please, I think I’m going to-” 

“Not yet… finish,” he urged and you protested before you felt him land another strike to your clit, “Now.” 

“Oh, my god!” Your eyes crossed when he resumed, your abdomen shaking at the sensation, “W-watching you made me realize t-that… t-that we were going to b-be okay-ah!” The arm around your torso made its way up to your breasts, pinching and twisting at your nipples. “...It made me realize t-that I want to be in this- w-with you…hmph… for a long t-time…” You looked up at him with pursed eyebrows and your mouth agape, finding him already staring at you. His face was warm, your entire being felt warm. And then he sped up, fingers pounding in and out of you, his mouth dropping back down to your neck to litter it with hickies, your legs grew stiff and you frantically jutted up into the palm of his hand. 

“Toji- fuck! Please, please-”

“Tell. Me.” He growled, not letting up on his movements.

“I-I- oh fuck… I realized that I wanted to be with you… f-forever, To-ji. I wanted to h-have more kids w-with you a-and raise a f-amily…” Your eyes held his and you felt your toes curl and your insides turn. His mouth connected with yours, holding your jaw in place, as he growled into your mouth.

“Cum.”

You saw stars as his grip on your jaw tightened, swallowing all of your moans, all of your cries, and drinking them like they were a forbidden elixir. He held your legs open with his, pumping in and out of you relentlessly as he held your shaking body. You felt his length, hard against the small of your back, and you lost it completely when you felt him needily rutting up into you through his black denim. “Fuck Toji! I’m cumming. I’m cumming- ah!” 

You two were a sweaty bundle of bodies, desperately rutting into each other, trying to be impossibly close to one another. You reached an arm around his neck and drew him into a wet kiss, hungrily biting and sucking on his lips, his tongue, any inch of him you could take in. 

“More. Toji, please, I need you more.” You begged when his fingers finally released you. You wanted each other in ways you never had before, this time was… different. This time you two were consummating your own version of a fucked-up marriage. In sickness and health. In life and death. You would have each other completely. You felt how needy he was, the scent of your arousal on his mouth, on his hands, lingering everywhere, it turned him into an animal. You turned to face him and helped him out of his clothes. Peeling the shirt off his sweaty body as he kicked his boots off, licking a stripe up his abdomen with heaving breaths, your eyes never leaving him as you panted for him, need dripping off your tongue. Once you got to his neck, you began to leave bite marks along his collarbone, his jaw, your bare cunt rutting into his crotch, growling at the cotton boxer-briefs that kept skin from skin. Toji’s hands grazed over your body, tracing every curve and valley, letting you devour him, take him, do what you wanted with him. 

“Take these off,” You breathed against his neck, fingers pulling at the waistband of the boxers, he chuckled, grabbing you by the back of the head and forcing your eyes to meet his, “As you wish, mama.” 

Sure, there were partners before Toji, and the sex was fine. But no one had ever made you act the way he made you act. You were a partnership of two antagonists, just prodding and poking at each other to see who could make the other crazier. You were sure that tonight, Toji would win. 

Mama.

You saw stars at the word and he knew it. Toji watched your eyes grow as dark as his in seconds, trailing his every movement as he lifted his hips up and slid his boxers down his legs. You watched his cock smack his stomach, so rock hard it looked like it hurt. You needed him in cynical, territorial ways. As did he to you. 

“If you don’t put a baby in me right now Fushiguro…” His eyes widened at the vulgarness of your demand. He watched you kneel just feet away from him, observed the way your chest was heaving up and down, the locket he gifted you, the one you never took off, moving with it. He noticed the way your breasts looked heavier, nipples puffier. He noticed your arousal dripping down your thigh, he had never seen you so wet. And lastly, he noticed the way your hands guarded your stomach, as if they were guarding your precious womb until he came around to mark it. 

“Get on your back,” he barked, climbing over to you swiftly, not giving you time to follow his directions on your own as he had you laid down against the carpet in seconds. He licked his lips as he watched you draw your bitten lips into your mouth, waiting for him to do something.

“Tonight I am going to fucking worship you,” he growled, smashing his lips to yours, jamming his tongue down your throat and licking you everywhere unholy. His lips trailed down your breasts, your stomach, and he stopped above your thighs, leaving bite marks all the way down. He blew a puff of air onto your sticky heat, before teasing you with a small lick. The second your thighs flew upwards his hands held them down, gripping onto the fat like they were lifesavers. He stuck his tongue in your folds, firmly tracing circles around your clit and following the patterns of your vulva. 

“Toji!” You screamed, almost as if you wanted him to stop. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, you needed him to keep going. One of your hands tangled in his hair as the other held onto his, your body writhing like a fish out of water as he continued to suck and pull at your core, groaning into you every time you rode your hips against his face. 

“I-I can’t, please I’m-” You gasped for air, desperately moving your body up and down with his mouth, riding out the waves of pleasure he was giving you. Your body was still sensitive from  your orgasm just moments ago, you felt like you could burst at any moment. But Toji didn’t stop, he kept blowing air onto your clit, fucking you with his tongue and biting the soft skin around your mound. He reached up to grab hold of one of your breasts, squeezing and pinching as he himself ground into the carpet he laid upon. Your moans and your taste were his jet fuel, and he was getting off to every second of it. You watched his ass flex as he repeated his movements, drawing circles into the carpet with his cock. The sight of him desperately humping nothing sent you over the edge, screaming as you pulled at his hair, your thighs closing around his head.

“TojiohmygodI’mcummingfuck!” Your words came out a sloppy mess, unable to do anything but praise him for being so good to you. He continued to place kisses on your inner thighs until you were done riding out your high, your body finally falling back to the floor. 

“Feel okay?” He asked calmly, rising to his knees as your body occasionally twitched in your post-orgasmic euphoria. He ran his hands up and down your torso, gently massaging once he got down to your pelvic bones, working out the knots and work you had just put in to getting off on his face. He knelt down to kiss you deeply, tenderly this time, inhaling your scent and running his hand over your head.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. His eyes searching for answers in yours, “I’m sorry,” he uttered, digging his forehead into the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry I tried to run away, you don’t deserve that.”

“Toji… I- I love you.” He kissed your forehead, his hand hitching themselves underneath your thighs, watching your eyebrows furrow together while he inched your knees up slowly.

“This comfortable?” He asked you for reassurance again and you nodded, and he pushed a little further, until your knees nearly touched your shoulders, you winced a little at the stretch of it, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he waited for you to adjust. When you open your eyes he’s looking down at you, kissing the insides of your calves and massaging them. 

“It hurts a little?” He asks again gently and you nod. He chuckles quietly as he leans down to kiss you, you inhale sharply as he puts pressure on your legs, stretching your hamstrings even more than intended.

“If I’m gonna put a baby in you, this is the best way, princess.” 

His words ran straight to your core, and you nodded frantically, feeling like a teenager having sex for the first time. So eager to feel him. This time with Toji felt different, call it- fucking with intention. Both of you felt the thickness of the air, you knew how much this meant. He placed a chaste kiss to your lips before whispering against them, “Let me know if you need me to stop.” 

Your eyes nearly crossed at the suggestion of him fucking you so hard you’d need to call it in, you just wanted to feel him already, “Mhm… Toji, please.”

His head dropped to your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, gripping him tighter when you felt his tip prop itself at your entrance. He laid his body flat against yours, you screamed at the burning in your legs, folded back against you with the weight of his body, but you wanted more. His arms caged your head in on either side and that was when you felt it. Toji watched the way your face contorted, your mouth dropping and eyes squeezing shut as he filled you at an angle he never had.

“Fuuuck,” he exhaled, inching his length into you further and further. He felt you claw at his back, skin sticking under your fingernails as you groaned with him, two animals fucking to conceive. The most primitive state of the human, fucking to reproduce, to bear offspring, to grow a family. 

“Toji-”

“Yes, princess,” he cut you off, “Oh fuck,” he gasped, bottoming out inside you, before hoisting your waist up to his and slinging your legs over his shoulders.

“T-Toji I’m so full!” You whined, grabbing onto his thighs folded on the floor as he knelt before you, buried deep in your cunt. 

“I know, baby, I know… be good and let me put a baby in you, okay?” He asked, placing kisses to your calves once again. You panted, nodding up at him while he made his first move. You groaned as he pulled himself out, before splitting you back open and bottoming out once again, “Fuck Toji, I need-” 

You felt it snap inside you again, whatever it was that made you feral, foaming at the mouth for the feeling of him inside you. “Toji I need you to fuck me…” You ground your hips into his, grasping at anything to give you leverage on his length. He looked down at you wearily, always so delicate, so fragile, “I don’t know if I should-”

“Fuck, Toji! Stop treating me like I’m glass and fuck me!” His eyes grew dark at your words, but still a glint of remorse held him back. You smacked at his chest, then looked down to remember that he was balls deep inside you, he seemed to remember at the same time because his stare turned wicked, “Look at me, Toji... I need you to fuck me baby.” 

You felt him begin to pick up his pace, slowly but surely rutting into you, fucking you deeper and deeper with every thrust. “F-uck, Toji!” Your mouth dropped as you watched a string of spit leave his mouth and drip on to where his cock and your cunt met, you gasped for air when he reached down to spread it around, lubing you up and preparing to go deeper, “T-oji, TojiTojiTojiii, please baby.”

“Yes, pretty girl. Fuck yes.” He gritted through his teeth, groaning at the way your tits bounced with every thrust, he reached out and cupped one in his hand, “Fuck, your tits are gonna be so full in a few months…” Your eyes rolled back at the way he groped it, playing with your nipple. Then your eyes fell to where you two connected and his gaze followed, the two of you watching Toji reappear and disappear inside of you, your wetness covering his cock, and his arousal being shoveled deeper and deeper inside of you.

You squealed as he thrusted harder, laying on top of you and rutting down into your heat. “Go ahead and touch yourself for me,” Toji instructed, and so you did. And a familiar feeling began to bubble up in your stomach, and for the third time that night Toji would ruin you. 

“Toji, please oh fuck-” He brought a hand up to your sweaty forehead, blowing air on it to cool you down, he then took your hand and placed it on your stomach, smirking as your eyes widened at what you felt.

“Feel that? Feel me inside of you?” He whispered, kissing you swiftly, feeling himself come close. You were a mess of moans and whines and you couldn’t even begin to explain the things that Toji was making you feel.

“Y-yes… yesyesyesdaddyIfeelit!” You cried as you circled your clit faster and pulled him closer, “Fuck yes! Right there baby, fuck me right there!” 

Toji growled, his hands now clawing at your thighs, the picture of two animals fucking wildly. Something sent him tipping past sanity as he pushed your legs all the way back, your ass up in the air as he thrusted down into you.

“Call me that again…” He seethed, grinning cynically at the way your eyes glazed over, his hand wrapped itself around your throat, enough to let you breathe. The sensation was overbearing, you started writhing underneath him, squirming and twitching while he kept his pace.

“F-uck,” you choked out, cracking what smile you could with Toji’s hand restricting you, “I want you to fill me up, Daddy.” Toji saw red, and blue, and every color that you helped him see in the past two years, and he fucked them all back into you. He kissed you with tenacity, lips tangled with lips and limbs tangled with limbs.

“I’m close,” he seethed.

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Boy or girl, tell me and I’ll fill you,” he whispered against your lips, saliva, snot and sweat mixing as you two breathed heavily into each other's mouths. Toji’s neck turned red the longer he held in his orgasm, the veins of his arms popping as he held you tightly, maneuvering you so you were in the perfect position to receive him. 

“I told you I don’t care,” you whispered back, feeling yourself close to the brink, tears forming in your eyes, “I told you I d-don’t care as long as I raise them with you.”

He smiled, “Pick a wild card.”

You smiled back.

“Girl,” you whispered. With your arms holding him closely against you, Toji began to writhe, his abdomen jerking in and out as he tried to control the strength of his orgasm.

“Fuck!” He screamed, fucking his seed into you, filling you up with himself. You pulled his face to yours and kissed him tenderly while you felt yourself clench around his length, milking him and riding out another orgasm of your own. 

“Yes,Toji! Yesyesyes!” You wrapped your legs around his torso and held him there, feeling his body twitch as he continued to shoot loads of himself into you. Your body shook as you took everything he had to give you, placing your hands atop his as he held your legs back, the two of you watching him push every drop that fell out back in. 

To think that you and Toji would end up here, there was a time when he was nothing but a fuck buddy to you, and you to him, now you desired something so intimate, so binding to his being. You couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly in his arms, and with that he looked down at you, smiling. Toji admittedly never smiled a lot before he met you, but as he looked down at you, he couldn’t be happier to smile in your presence. 

“Do you think we… got it?” You asked him, out of breath.

He raised his eyebrows, “You would doubt my work?” You smacked his chest and pushed him off of you, attempting to stand up but finding yourself weak in the knees. Toji approached you from behind and lifted you up slowly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him.

“I think we should try the bed out next,” he whispered, “See if it’s still any good?” 

You looked up at him in disbelief, “You want to do that again?” 

“You don’t?” He smirked.

“Well I-” You thought for a second while you melted into his hold, “I don’t not want to do that again.” He emitted a dark sound, while kissing the top of your head, and leading you step by step over to the old mattress. 

“Remember the first time we had sex here? I think I tied you to the headboard,” he suggested casually. Your hands tensed around his before you spun yourself around to face him, wanting to smack him, grin and all. He pushed himself into you and grabbed handfuls of your ass, lifting you up into him and taking in the sight.

“For old times sake, princess,” he persisted. Your tongue pushed at the inside of your cheek as you considered the idea. You supposed mother’s had to have fun too.

“...Just this once, asshole.”

“God, I love it when you call me that.”

© 2023 mitsery - do not repost my work to any other platforms

[rosanna-writer]

Karma Is My Boyfriend (2/?)

Summary: Elain Archeron saved countless lives by vanquishing Graysen Nolan, her literal demon of a fiancé. She's a hero, but it's just not fair that being a good witch destined to rid the world of evil has left her tragically, painfully single. Enter Lucien Vanserra, the best cupid in the business, who's been sent by the universe to balance the karmic scales and find Elain the perfect new partner…

Happy day two of @elucienweekofficial!!! The people I can't thank enough include both the wonderful event organizers and ALSO the friends who generously allowed me to mine their dating app horror stories for fic potential <3

The whole fic can be found Here on AO3, or you can start with chapter one here on tumblr and read the second chapter under the cut.

Lucien was waiting with his feet up on her desk in the back of Roots 'n Shoots the next day. After her conversation with Rhys, Elain had loosened the wards around the store, though she hadn't expected Lucien to just…winnow directly into her office before she arrived.

But he already had steaming cup of her favorite herbal blend ready, so Elain decided not to give him an earful, even though she disliked being relegated to the spare chair she kept for guests.

"Are we on some sort of deadline?" she said, dropping her bag on the floor. "It's still quite early."

Lucien gave another elegant shrug. "I hate burning daylight."

In the past year, the Archeron manor had been full of��well, night people. Elain appreciated that Lucien seemed not to be another one. "Likewise," she said, taking a sip of tea.

He'd stirred in the amount of sugar she preferred, and she decided not to ask whether that information was contained in her file as well. She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Lucien produced a cell phone seemingly out of nowhere and held the screen up for her to see. "I've already gotten started on making you a Tinder."

If Elain had been any less of a lady, she would have spat her tea all over him. Lucien was supposed to be an expert at helping people find love—but apparently all he had too offer was a dating app she was perfectly capable of navigating herself.

"It's quite helpful of you to be so on top of it," she said, though the icy chill in her voice made it clear she wasn't grateful at all.

"We'll cover more ground using an app. And with a cupid helping you screen your matches, you're guaranteed not to meet up with any douches, dirtbags, or demons."

Elain hesitated, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. It was true that she'd sworn off dating since Greysen—no matter how much Nesta and Feyre reminded her that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. With a busy shop to run and innocents to save, she'd insisted that she'd rather spend her precious few nights out catching up with friends.

Which was true, of course. But it wasn't the whole story, and the way Lucien's smirk melted into something softer told her he knew it. "You'll be safe with me," he said more gently. "I promise you're in good hands, Elain."

"Thank you," she said, taking the phone from him with a sigh.

Elain scrolled through the beginnings of the profile he'd set up for her. The photos of her seemed to be stolen from Feyre's private Instagram, but her artistic little sister had such a knack for finding good lighting that Elain decided not to question how Lucien had gotten them. His information was accurate, too: 5' 9", interested in both men and women, looking for something serious, plant mom, avid baker, all of it.

"I think this will do," she said.

"Is there anything else I should know before we get started?"

Elain took a moment to consider it—he'd covered everything. Well, almost. "No women named Elaine with two e's."

"Understandable. When I dated before becoming a cupid, I wouldn't touch a Lucian with an a. Moaning your own name in bed feels wrong."

"Exactly," Elain said with a laugh. It was a relief he understood, but at the same time, a bit irritating to find herself warming to him after what an ass he'd been the day before. But then, she thought again about what he said, and… "Cupids can't date?"

His mechanical eye clicked a few times, and she didn't know what to make of it. "It's not strictly forbidden, but that's…not something that's in the cards for me anymore."

There was a finality in his voice that Elain wasn't brave enough to question. Besides, Lucien's love life was hardly her concern, anyway. She handed the phone back to him and let him finish setting up the profile.

Something in Elain's chest went uncomfortably tight as they began looking through matches. Maybe this was a mistake. Surely it was better to stay single forever than to risk another disaster…

Not that she'd be going anywhere with the first man whose profile appeared. His face was hardly visible under the brim of an ill-fitting camo baseball cap, and he was holding up a fish.

She swiped left. And the next profile belonged to another man holding up a fish. And the next. And the next.

After five near-identical profiles of would-be fishermen in a row, Elain was beginning to wonder if there was anyone out there even worth messaging.

She let out a huff of frustration. "Do these people have any other hobbies besides fishing?"

"Clearly none of them are getting assistance from a cupid. Any of us would tell them there are better ways to give off the impression that they're well-endowed," Lucien said, picking at his nails.

"Is— Is that what they're doing?" Elain felt her cheeks go pink despite herself.

"Trying to, at least. And speaking from experience, it's really only impressive when that fish was caught with your bare hands."

Lucien was so….well-groomed that Elain struggled to picture it. He struck her as the sort of person who'd insist the Sidra was disgusting even though plenty of people happily swam in the clear blue river every summer. She couldn't imagine him just wading right into a lake or a stream. "Is it?"

"Those big fishing poles are a crutch for people who aren't skilled with their hands."

Elain couldn't help but glance at his hands. She hadn't quite noticed how big they were when he'd first come into her shop the day before, but now that he was closer, she found herself wondering how much they'd dwarf hers if she interlaced those long, elegant fingers with her own…

Not that it mattered. Lucien was there to help her find true love, not hold her hand.

"I see," she murmured, swiping to the next profile. This man, at least, wasn't holding a fish, which would have been a relief if it wasn't something a million times more mortifying.

Tamlin Springfield—Feyre's ex-fiancé.

He was staring into the camera, a violin tucked under his chin. Elain supposed the expression on his face was meant to be soulful, but truthfully…he just looked constipated.

"Please tell me you aren't insane enough to seriously consider your sister's ex," Lucien said, wrinkling his nose. "I'd rather not deal with the drama."

Elain stilled. "How do you know he's my sister's ex?" There was no way that file was extensive enough to list out her sisters' dating histories, too.

Oh gods, had she been too quick to trust him?

Annoyingly, Lucien just smirked despite the suspicion that had crept into her voice. "Most cupids stopped using arrows a long time ago, but we still learn to shoot because the elders grumble about tradition. Feyre's the most patient archery instructor to come along in centuries, so of course we all pitched in to help her out with Rhysand after that nasty business with Tamlin's curse."

Whatever the cupids did had worked. Last night, Nesta and Cassian were out teaching their weekly judo class, so it had just been Elain at home with Feyre and Rhys, who'd cuddled up on the couch, his wing wrapped around her shoulders while they made disgustingly cute heart eyes at each other. She'd retreated to the kitchen to bake and avoid them.

It still seemed too much to believe that with Lucien's help, she could find love like that, too.

"Well, I'm not matching with him, but hold on a second," Elain said, taking a screenshot and sending it to her sisters.

She quickly muted the chat before Nesta or Feyre had a chance to ask how things were going with Lucien. The last thing she needed was an interrogation.

The next profile after Tamlin's was a woman—and finally, someone who looked promising. In her picture, Briar was standing in a greenhouse, and her smattering of freckles, floppy straw sunhat, and fresh-faced beauty were exactly Elain's type.

There was some sort of audio player embedded on the page. Odd. Elain hadn't seen that before, but perhaps Briar was particularly conscious about making her profile accessible to the visually impaired.

She looked a question at Lucien, who just gave another one of those elegant shrugs she was beginning to suspect were his calling card.

Elain hit play. And the sound of Briar, greeting visitors to her page in a voice that sounded exactly like Kermit the Frog, filled the room. Elain clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. Her eyes slid to Lucien, silently asking him if he was hearing this, too.

He somehow managed to keep a straight face until Briar began to sing, and his shoulders shook with laughter as she painfully warbled her way through "One More Sleep 'til Christmas." Elain couldn't hit pause fast enough.

"I know the conventional wisdom is that you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, but…" Lucien said, trailing off as Elain's giggle grew in to out-and-out laughter.

The fist that seemed to always be clenched around her chest these days loosened just a bit. If Elain wasn't mistaken, she was having…fun. Since Greysen, she'd felt that way so rarely that she'd almost forgotten what it was like.

After a few more quick swipes left, Elain finally paused on the profile of a man who had the kindest blue eyes she'd ever seen. Tarquin Sommers was an oceanographer who spent his free time attending beach cleanups and teaching children to surf.

And it certainly helped that he had a gorgeous, muscular swimmer's body, too.

Elain's finger hovered over the screen, and Lucien noticed, his mechanical eye seeming to whirr with excitement. "Tarquin is a sea witch," he said gently, "so he'll be perfectly understanding of the whole slaying demons thing, if that's your concern."

"That's good to know," Elain said. "He's— He's very pretty."

"And not on the cupids' no-fly list, either. I recommend you start with him."

Elain told herself that the knots in her stomach were just excitement and swiped right.

A few days later, Elain found herself waiting outside a coffee shop—one of the cute local ones that advertised fair trade beans and used biodegradable cups. She was so out of practice that Feyre did her makeup, and her lavender romper had needed several rounds of Nesta's wrinkle-removal spell after being relegated to a heap at the back of her closet for so long.

But Elain made it. She was going to do this.

Lucien was already inside, sipping a dirty chai while pretending to read a book but really keeping an eye on her through the window. He'd offered to keep his distance and give them some privacy, but there was something about his presence that Elain found incredibly reassuring. She'd asked him to stay.

And honestly, he was probably the only reason she hadn't panicked and cancelled at the last minute.

Tarquin greeted her with an easy smile. He'd swapped out the board shorts in his picture for jeans that hugged his ass and a crisp white t-shirt that matched his hair and made his dark skin glow. Elain let him lead her inside.

They ordered their drinks, and somehow, the world didn't end as they made conversation. Elain had been good at this kind of thing, once. Before her life had been demonic crisis after crisis, she'd hosted parties and loved flirting and getting to know new people.

But now, she hardly spent any time with anyone who wasn't Feyre, Nesta, Rhys, or Cassian. She loved her family, but…she'd shut herself away.

It helped that Tarquin seemed like the sort of person who was easy to love. Barely a few minutes into their date, they'd already found common ground in a shared interest in aquatic plants.

In fact, Elain was so interested in coastal seagrass that she excitedly gestured with her cup. The lid went flying, and suddenly Tarquin's white shirt had a bright green matcha stain that extended all the way from his collar to his hem.

Elain wanted to disappear on the spot. She should have just accepted that she couldn't date without mucking everything up, and it was better to cut this short while the mess was still small enough that it could be taken care of with bleach instead of a vanquishing spell so complex it drained all of her power for weeks afterward. She'd been so monumentally stupid for—

Lucien caught her eye from across the café. "Elain," he said gently, but still loud enough that his voice carried to her. "It's quite alright."

Something inside her settled. She managed a weak smile in his direction. Lucien grinned back, snapped his fingers, and then Elain found herself in the same spot she'd been thirty seconds prior.

Their drinks weren't finished yet. Tarquin's shirt was still perfectly clean.

Lucien had turned back time to fix her date.

Elain repeated what she'd already said about seagrass meadows, and Tarquin didn't seem to notice anything was amiss. This time, she was careful not to spill her drink as they talked.

The whole thing was…nice. Tarquin's stories about swimming with dolphins back home in Adriata were charming, and he listened with intent, genuine interest as Elain explained how the ratio of white to brown sugar in a cookie recipe affected the texture of the final product. And he was even better-looking in person.

But still, a spark was missing. When it was time to leave, Elain turned her head at the last moment so that the goodbye kiss intended for her lips landed on her cheek instead.

Lucien was already in the living room of the Archeron manor when Elain winnowed home that evening—somehow, he'd secured a dinner invite from Nesta. He was lounging on their sofa, looking strangely at home as he fixed the fletching on one of Feyre's arrows. His auburn hair looked molten in the golden hour light streaming in from the windows.

"Well?" he said, looking up as she walked in.

"It was good," Elain said.

Lucien turned to face her fully, placing his feet flat on the floor and his hands on his knees. He tilted his head, and the glint of metal in his golden eye looked strangely predatory. "Just good?"

A pleasant shiver skittered its way down Elain's spine. "Yes."

"We should be doing a hell of a lot better than 'just good.'"

He stood, tapping the arrow on his palm as he approached her. His gaze traveled slowly down her body, and Elain's throat bobbed. Lucien came closer and closer, until she could feel heat radiating off of him.

A spark had been missing with Tarquin earlier, but Lucien was a gods-damned inferno of a cupid.

"Should we?" Elain breathed.

"I'm not giving up until you've been thoroughly swept off your feet. You deserve nothing less. But I think you're blocked, and it's time to try a different approach."

Before she could ask what that meant, Feyre called them into the kitchen for dinner.

[moonypears-blog]

Keep you company.

For day 2 of Anti Cedfia Week-Picnic.

Wordcount: 760.

Standing by a big bush of trees in the royal garden, Cedric watched the princess sadly. 

She was settled down in the stone-made gazebo, looking out longingly. 

He’d heard about her missing dinner with her family, sparking a bit of worry in him. So, he decided to go out looking for her. He’d been watching her for a few minutes. He wasn’t quite sure how to approach her. 

He saw the little 13-year old sigh, looking down at her hands in her lap. He really needed to speak to her. 

Quietly, he walked over to the gazebo, leaning on one of the pillars. 

“Are you alright, princess?” he asked. Sofia jumped. 

She calmed when she saw him, settling back down. “Mmhm.”

Cedric crossed his arms, cocking a hip as he looked down at her. “We both know it will take more than that to convince me, dearest.”

Sofia refused to look at him. It was his turn to sigh. 

“You’re worrying me, princess. Won’t you say something else?” he tried again, noticing the little twitches she made. She always did that when she was stressed about something. 

“It’s nothing…I’m okay,” she tried to give a reassuring smile, playing with her hands. 

Cedric uncrossed his arms, planting himself down on the floor of the gazebo next to her. 

He only looked at her for a few moments, analysing her twitches and facial expressions.

“‘It’s nothing’ implies that there is something, but you think it’s meaningless.” he said, setting his hands on his knees. “What is it, princess?”

Sofia looked out over the grass, over the trees and up at the castle. Her hands always stayed intertwined. 

“It’s just this time of year…So many balls are being planned, everything is always so busy and fast, it’s almost time for the annual ball of me and mom becoming royals…I haven’t gotten used to it yet..” Sofia confessed, only looking into the castle windows. 

Cedric nodded. “It has been quite busy the past few weeks, hasn’t it?” 

“Mmhm…Sometimes I just sit out here, when it’s too much.”

“I can guess it’s too much currently?” Cedric queried. “Yes…”

Cedric’s heart ached for her. He grew up in the bustling castle, it was normal for things to get hectic and busy, he was used to it. But Sofia came from a much different background. 

“My dear, you know if you ever need anything at all, I’m always here. You know exactly where to find me,” he promised. He was never as busy as the other castle workers, never having to turn left and right for his duties. Almost all of his work let him be contained in his workshop. And he’d drop anything for Sofia. 

Sofia finally looked at him, lightly smiling. 

“Thank you, Mr Cedric.” 

He saw her twitching slow to a stop, her hands leaving her lap. 

“Now,” Cedric started, “would you like something to eat, darling?” he asked. “I’ll admit, I haven’t eaten much today, either.”

“Yes, please,” Sofia still smiled, happy to finally have that off her chest. 

Cedric pulled his wand from his sleeve, dramatically holding it up. He whirled it around a few times, saying some words. 

A chequered picnic blanket appeared first, then a plate of sandwiches, followed by little bowls of sliced fruits and vegetables, like apples and cucumber. Some sweet things appeared, like chocolate chip cookies, and finally, some steaming herbal tea. 

“It looks amazing, Mr Cedric!” Sofia praised, looking at everything he made.

Just as dramatically, Cedric put his wand back into his sleeve, reaching for a cookie. “Why thank you, princess.”

Sofia picked up what seemed like a ham sandwich. She looked up at Cedric. 

“It’s not real,” he assured simply. Sofia grinned, taking a bite. 

“Do you really think I would try to feed you meat, Sofia?” he asked playfully, cookie in his hand. Sofia shook her head with a mouthful of sandwich. 

“I meant what I said, Sofia,” Cedric told her after a few minutes, putting down his cup of tea. “If you need anything. Anything at all, I will always be here for you.”

Cedric chuckled at her, taking a piece out of his cookie.

He wasn’t sure Sofia knew how much she meant that. Whether it was emotional needs, like someone to spend time with or a shoulder to cry on, or she needed help doing something or needed something magical, he’d always be there. 

Sofia put her treat down, rushing to wrap her arms around him. 

“Oh, princess…” Cedric lamented, wrapping his arms around her back. 

“Thank you. Thank you.”

[jewbeloved]

Christmas Day with the boys + Craig and Tweek🎄🎄🎄🎁🎁🎁🎁🎅🎅

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!🥳🥳🥳

If you don't celebrate it, that's alright then. But also happy Hanukkah (for the people who are Jewish)

Warnings: None, why would there be warnings on a Christmas day? 😂

Gender: Neutral

💚💙 The Main Four ❤️🧡

The second you woke up out of your bed and checked your calendar, you were excited to see that it was Christmas Day.

You ran out of your room after putting on your (favorite color Christmas) outfit. And went to the phone to call your boyfriends letting them know it's Christmas day!

"Guys! It's Christmas day!!"

"Merry Christmas (nickname), we'll be over there in a min :3"

"Merry Christmas (Name), but are you sure we should bring Kahl since he doesn't celebrate Christmas because he's Jewish?"

"Shut the Fuck up fatass!"

*muffles* (It's Christmas day, but I didn't manage to get you a present...I could only afford to get my little sister one...)

"Oh! That's alright Kenny, don't have to get me a present, we can just celebrate Christmas together. You can bring your sister along!"

You hung up the phone and knew that they would be over quickly then just a min.

You used this time wisely and planted all of their gifts under the Christmas tree, while your mom was preparing Christmas treats for you and the boys.

When everything was completely you heard a knock on your door and opened it up to see your 4 lovable boyfriends and Karen standing there with gifts in their hands with a sweet smile on their faces.

"Merry Christmas (Name)!" They all sang at the same time making you flustered.

You allowed them to come inside and went to place their presents for you under the tree. But Karen wanted to hand you your present early.

"It's a thank you gift for always being so nice to me and my big brother Kenny, it really means a lot to both of us.." You pulled Karen into a hug and she hugged back.

Bro Kenny wanted to cry at this adorable moment between you and his sister. 🥹

"Don't worry about me, I already talked to my parents and they allowed me to come over and celebrate Christmas with you ONLY even though I'm jewish"

"Hehe alright then, let's get this party started then!"

Bro, you're so damn lucky you get to spend the great holiday with the boys. They have spent Christmas a lot of times by themselves or with their family. But this time they wanna spend it all day long with you.

Gathering around the Christmas tree and singing the Holiday song like it's a ritual, but Kyle just listened to all of you singing it though. You don't mind that because it is understandable and obvious.

Eating the snacks that your mom has made, they immediately all want another! The snacks tasted so good! By the time you finished yours the other ones are already gone 🥲

And finally, opening presents. Your place is going to be kinda a mess with all of the present wrappers around the floor. But everyone cleans it up after tearing off the paper.

All of the presents the boys and Karen gave you each contained (the item that you always wanted) inside of the box, and you got them theirs and they were really grateful to you for that.

And last but not least, the sleepover and watching a Christmas movie. You put on your (favorite movie) on the TV and everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and joined you on watching the movie.

It took them a few hours to sleep because they wanted to stay up and watch it longer with you.

You obviously cuddled with the boys on your bed, because there's not a lot of room on the couch. Kenny had one arm wrapped around Karen while the other was wrapped around you in the cuddle pile.

When it was time for them to go home, you got a goodbye kiss from each and every one of them. You gave Karen a kiss on the forehead and a hug before she left as well.

Best Christmas and Hanukkah day ever❤️🧡💙💚

💙 Craig and Tweek 💛

Spending Christmas with these 2 sweethearts is clearly heaven for you😭😭🥹

You made sure everything on your schedule was cleared so you wouldn't have any plans going on at the moment, this is a special day for you and your boyfriends.

This time you went a little overboard with prepping everything for this holiday, you literally had a bouncy house in your backyard 😳

The time Craig and Tweek arrived at your house, was the time for Christmas to start. No questions.

You did notice that Tweek didn't seem to be anxious at the moment, but you didn't question him about that. He didn't want to be anxious on Christmas since it was with you.

Craig having his usual everyday expression, but you know deep down that he has a big smile on his face ready to start celebrating Christmas with you.

All 3 of you guys wore matching Christmas couple outfits for the time being.

Eating snacks. Eating snacks with them was normal as eating any other kinds of food. They didn't make a mess, they didn't ask for another, and they happily cleaned up their mess if they did.

Christmas games. Bro they didn't expect you to have games laying around, you really went overboard with prepping everything 😂😊🥹 they still enjoyed playing the games with you though, and they ABSOLUTELY loved playing inside the bouncy house! They stayed in there for like 3 hours 🤯🤯🤯

Opening presents. They got you a bunch of gifts tbh 😳 you obviously got them a bunch back in return. Opening presents this time isn't messy since you guys were opening them over a wrapper bin.

Cuddling sessions. You're literally stuck in their embrace for a longggggg time. They ain't letting you go anytime soon, you're their little/big sweet teddy bear (Depending on your height)

Sleep time. They're also staying over for the night to sleep with you until Christmas is over. Enjoy this time sleeping with them specially.😊😊🥹🥹

Same as the boys, you also get goodbye kisses and hugs from Craig and Tweek. But this time they promised to come back later.💛💛💙💙

I was listening to this music while writing this- also Merry Christmas again to everyone!!!

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Winter Wolf: Part 15

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst

Word Count: 4,421

A/N: Finally got the muse to finish this story! YAY!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I want it to look like a plantation house.” You said as you stood in front of what was left of your house between a general contractor, and Bucky as you bounced Ana on your hip, while you looked at another contractor that dealt with historic homes, specifically, and Tony, who was paying for the reconstruction. It had taken him a month of cutting red tape, but on the afternoon of your one year anniversary, he handed you the updated deed and a photo of the new metal arch across your driveway with the real name of your plantation and the real year it was established displayed proudly beneath it.

“I want the same wide wrap around porch, and the balcony on the second floor with all glass French doors. I want the white columns, and my stone fireplace in the parlor, and wood floors throughout. Oh, and I want to see my willow through my bedroom windows. Everything else, you can ask Bucky for. But the kitchen has to be in the back, left corner, and it has to have six bedrooms. Four up, and two down- one on either side of the first floor. Classic.” You finished as you switched Ana on your hip and turned to let her play in the willow tree. “Oh, and bathrooms. Lots of bathrooms. And air conditioning. And a swing in that oak tree over there.”

“Did you want to knock down that old workers house still, doll?” Bucky asked as you put your daughter down, and held on to her hands so she could stretch her legs.

“Yep! Get rid of it.” You called out with a nod. “That’s what we’ll do, Anastasia. When Daddy’s done, we’ll walk back and go look at the little river where you can sit and play in the water. You’d like that, huh? Better than being raised in a tower.” You sighed and sat down in the short grass with a small smile. “We’ve really come full circle here, baby girl.” You said as you shifted her grip on your fingers. “I really hope your mom would like us moving you here. I think she would. You’re gunna have a huge yard to play in, and your own room. And we can start a garden again, and we can plant some more apple and peach trees in the back. And I think I remember how to fish, but maybe Daddy does so he can teach us both. And maybe we can get you a little pool to play in on hot days…” You paused for a moment as you looked over at the distant sound of tires turning into your driveway. “James…”

“Yea…”

“That’s a government car.” You called out as you picked up your daughter, and walked out from under the willow tree to look over at the drive. You stopped half way to the small group as not one, but three black SUV’s with tinted windows and a massive armored car pulled up to stop in the parking lot area. “Shit… take her.”

“Babe…” Bucky said as you took the last few steps over to him and practically shoved your daughter into his arms.

“Take her.” You said as you stepped back away from him as men started to pour out of the vehicles and head toward you quickly.

“Doctor (Y/N) (Y/M/N) Barnes, AKA (Y/N) Scott, née (Y/L/N)…”

“Ross!” Tony yelled as you mentally battled the decision to run for your life or accept your fate.

“You are under arrest for the murders of Howard and Maria Stark, John F. Kennedy, Jasper Sitwell…”

“No, no!” Bucky shouted as you were nearly tackled to the ground by four guys nearly twice your size that were trying to get you into cuffs and shackles as quickly as possible even though you were not resisting what so ever in front of your child.

“Ross, you are making a huge mistake.” Tony said as Ana started to scream for you as some of the men kept your husband and daughter back at gun point.

“Babe, don’t you fucking listen to her!” Bucky roared over everyone as he watched your whole being shift into something he barely recognized when he saw you register the face of the man that had a gun pointing at your innocent one year old. “Don’t give in to her! Stay with Anastasia and me! Stay with us!” You met his eyes for a moment with a look he had only seen in old HYDRA photographs as you were lifted off the ground and unceremoniously thrown into a cube shaped jail cell.

“You’re all gunna fucking pay for that.” You said evenly with an evil smirk as you let them chain you to the chair before they all stepped out of the truck and shut you in with a single pair of heavily armed guards. A dark laugh you normally hated to hear, but that you absolutely welcomed in that moment started to echo in your head as you looked directly at the man who had no idea what was coming to him. “You have no fucking idea how much you’re gunna pay for pointing a gun at my daughter.”

——

You were locked in a room, a half mile below ground at least, in a bulletproof glass and metal box similar to the one you were held in the last time the American government had captured you, and left completely alone in a small room with multiple armed guards keeping watch outside the only door. For an entire month, you were given barely a meal twice a day, and allowed to use the “restroom”, which was really just a bed pan shoved under your ass after two guards held your hips up and yanked your pants down for you, twice daily as well, but you were given no other privileges other than those. You didn’t get to shower or get clean clothes; it was “too risky” to uncuff more than the lower part of your right arm for you to eat and wipe yourself. 

But you couldn’t complain. You didn’t say a word or move a muscle unless you were told to, because every time you did, they shocked you. Everyday for that entire month, you lost just a little more hope that this would one day come to an end, and the Wolf developed her plan of escape just a little bit louder in your head for when the part of you that made you ‘you’ finally gave up. But on the very last day of the month, the entire wall in front of you lifted up and a large group of armed men filed in ten bodies wide, and at least six bodies deep.

“Let’s move her!” The man in charge called out, which made the guards split down the center so a fork lift could be brought in to pick up the cage. You wanted to ask where you were going so badly, but you didn’t dare say a word as you were carted out of the room, on to a massive platform, and brought out of the pit of your own personal hell.

‘You can break out now!’ The Wolf said as you were transported to an armored truck. ‘It’d be easy. You know I can do it. We can go far, far away from here where no one will ever find us again…’

‘I’m not leaving my family.’ You told her as you slowly and carefully closed your eyes and leaned your head back on your chair, despite every other ounce of your being being poised and ready to attack at a moments notice like it had been for weeks. ‘I won’t leave my daughter or my husband.’

‘Weak.’ You mentally agreed with her as the truck stopped, and the back doors were opened so that the cage could be removed. You opened your eyes again and looked up at an impressive federal courthouse in Washington DC. Your guard led you inside and through the halls, and some how, it took you until were just outside the court room to realize what was happening. (Which was probably from lack of sleep, but you weren’t quite sure of that or anything anymore.)

“Oh, my God!” Bucky and Wanda screamed simultaneously as the pair of them, the rest of the Avengers, and a man you assumed had to be your lawyer jumped to their feet the second you were carted into the room.

“What are you doing to her?!” Tony screeched as he looked over at General Ross, who was sitting front and center behind the prosecution with a smug yet straight look on his face.

“Have you even let her change her clothes or shower at all?!” Bucky chimed in as tears welled in his eyes as he searched the dead look in yours.

“Is this the reason you’ve refused to let me see my client?!” A man said as he turned toward the other side and pointed back at you.

“This is inhumane!”

“She’s a mutant.” The prosecutor said with a shake of his head. “And she’s dangerous…”

“Get my wife out of that box…!”

“Alright, order! Order!!” The judge said as she slammed her gavel down and looked over at you. “OK, everybody hold on!” She yelled over your lawyer, and your large family as they all screamed at the government officials responsible for your mistreatment. “Has this been her living conditions since she was arrested?” She asked as she looked over at you, and the Wolf responded before you could stop her.

“I haven’t even used a toothbrush…” You shrieked and seized when the box shocked you once again, and Wanda and Steve instantly leapt over the partition.

“Get her out of that box!” The judge and your lawyer roared as Wanda ripped the front and the side of the box away so Steve could get your restraints off. Everyone in a thirty foot radius recoiled from the smell as Bucky pushed past Steve to pick you up out of the chair as gently as he could.

“She needs a medic!” Steve yelled as your lawyer told the other that he would be filing law suits against every single person responsible for your mistreatment as the judge scrambled to get the jury out of the room.

“I got the jet on the roof ready…” Tony said as he came over with a shake of his head. “Jesus, I didn’t know it was possible for her to be so thin.”

“Court officers…”

“If you so much as think of taking her out of my fucking arms right now, you will see what the Avengers are capable of for one of our own.” Bucky said evenly as he looked up at the woman on the stand.

“Can you please bring in a monitoring bracelet for Dr. Barnes so she can be confined to Sibley Memorial…”

“Can you make that the Four Seasons here in DC?” Tony asked as he tapped the ear piece in his ear to hang up his phone call while Steve ripped your dirty jeans away from your ankle so the monitor could be attached. “My personal physician is already on the way.”

“Fine.” The judge said with a nod as she sat up in her spot. “Dr. Barnes, you are not, under any circumstances, allowed to leave your hotel room once it has been established unless it is to come to court, do you understand what I am saying?”

“Yes ma’am.” You nearly whispered as you looked up at her.

“OK then. We will reconvene in one week for trial.” The prosecutor and General Ross both shouted ‘what’ as Bucky hiked you up in his arms to carry you out, which made the judge whip toward them. “As for you? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Mutant or not, you just violated every single one of her civil liberties…”

“Bucky?” You breathed as you reached up with your metal hand and brushed your fingertips across the scruff on his cheek. “Anastasia?”

“She’s at the hotel with Pepper. We’re gunna go see her right now.”

“OK.” You said as you laid your head down on his shoulder where the Wolf finally let you fell asleep in the safety of his arms.

——

“Mama!” Ana screeched when you got out of the shower in your much nicer jail cell after your extensive check up with a doctor that worked for Stark Industries. You stumbled the slightest bit and looked over at your daughter, who toddled toward you all by herself on her impossibly more chunky legs. You stopped in the doorway and Bucky nearly ran over you from behind when you teared up and sat down on the carpet since you had missed her first steps.

“Oh, my baby girl!” You cried as tears filled your eyes when your little angel threw herself into your chest and hugged your throat tightly.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you two were showering.” Pepper said softly, but Bucky shook his head as he held his towel tightly around his waist and stepped past you.

“No, it’s OK.” He said with a glance back at the two halves of his heart. “We all just a little out of sorts right now.”

“I know what you mean.” Pepper said with a nod. “I’m gunna tell Tony to have Michael come and speak with her the day after tomorrow about the case. She needs you and Ana and she needs to eat something first.”

“And we all need some real rest.” He said as he turned a bit to watch you lay down right on the floor to play with the toys Bucky had brought with him to entertain Ana while he was in court. He could see the sheer exhaustion in your eyes as you watched Ana lay down just like you to put her hand on your cheek, and he startled the slightest when Pepper touched his shoulder.

“She’s gunna make it through this.” She said softly with a nod. “You both are. We’re all in this together, OK? And we will make it through this trial…”

“She won’t make it if she gets convicted…”

“She won’t.” Pepper reassured. “Especially after today. The jury saw her get shocked in that box, we can use that to our advantage…”

“Bucky?” You called out softly, which made him whip around toward you. You sighed heavily and looked up at him with a small shake of your head. “If I get convicted, I’m letting the Wolf out, and going to Wakanda. I won’t spend another minute of my life in a box like that again. Just get Anastasia there before I’m sentenced…”

“OK, we’ll worry about that later, doll.” He said as he walked away from Pepper and carefully laid down on Ana’s other side facing you. “Let’s just talk to the lawyer first. He has a pretty good plan for us. We’re all pretty confident anyways, OK?” You nodded your head against your arm and reached out to hold his hand as Pepper left your room for the night.

“I love you, Bucky. You and Ana are the only reasons I didn’t break out already.”

“Well you’re here now.” He said with a small smile. “I love you, (Y/N), and I will never stop doing so. No matter what happens.”

——

“Well you look much, much better than the last time I saw you, Dr. Barnes.” The judge, Stacy Benson said as she took a seat in her chair. “How are you feeling?” You glanced over at your lawyer, Michael Young, almost seeking permission to speak, before looking up at the judge with a small nod.

“Cleaner. But I’m a mother so I think I’ll forever be tired.”

“As the mother of three kids myself, I can tell you that never goes away.” She said with a small laugh as she organized the paperwork for your case. “Now, I assume you’ve had a chance to meet with your lawyer this past week?”

“Yes ma’am, I have. Thank you.”

“And you come to court today understanding all of the charges against you and are prepared for the trial against you to begin?”

“Yes ma’am, I am.” She looked up for the papers for a moment and nodded her head before glancing over at the bailiff.

“Let’s bring in the finalized jury.” You nodded your head, took a deep breath, and glanced back at Pepper, who was one of the only Avengers that wasn’t testifying which meant she was the only one allowed to hear the trial from beginning to end. She gave you a reassuring nod and reminded you to breathe and to sit up a bit more as the jury all took their seats. You turned back around and folded your hands in your lap the way your lawyer had told you so that your metal hand was ‘out of sight and out of mind’ until the ‘perfect moment’. You sat almost perfectly still and started singing the ‘Good Night Moon’ song on repeat in your head the way Bucky had suggested to try to drown out the Wolf as both lawyers started the trial with their opening arguments. 

The prosecution’s was almost stereotypical. Mr. Everett Ross kept his voice raised and his tone angry as he used big hand gestures to make his argument feel much larger than it was. But unfortunately, he was so convincing, hell, you yourself even believed for a moment that you- the normal, pre-brainwashing you was the one who committed the sixteen murders they had proof for out of the ninety-seven actual murders the Winter Wolf had done. When he was finished, even the Wolf sat back in your mind with an agitated huff.

‘Well we’re fucked.’

But then Mike stood up for his turn.

“Ladies and gentleman of the jury, this case is going to be one for the books. I have been practicing law for almost thirty years and I have never in my life seen one like this. Especially because what I am about to say is going to contradict itself completely. My client did commit these murders. She doesn’t deny it, there is plenty of evidence to support it, some of which, I’ll even be bringing up myself. But at the exact same time, my client is completely innocent. And I can prove it.

Over the next few days, you are going to hear plenty of eye witness testimony from witnesses that saw first hand what the Winter Wolf is capable of. You will see videos, and photographs the prosecution as procured to support the fact that the Wolf, which is what I will call the murderer from here on out, is the one that committed these crimes. But then it will be my turn to show you why Dr. Barnes, the woman sitting directly to my left here, is not the same person.

Please know in advance that the images, and testimony will be brutally graphic as we reveal the torture and agony Dr. Barnes went through at the hands of HYDRA from 1939 to 2014 when she was able to escape their control. And yes, my dates are correct because Dr. Barnes is a mutant, and one of her mutations is that she is not capable of dying. Which is also something else I will be able to prove as well. So while you sit here, and listen to the facts, I beg of you to keep an open mind through it all. Look at all of the facts and really see that the Winter Wolf and Dr. (Y/N) Barnes are two different entities in the same body. And prepare yourself now; like I said, this is not going to be pretty.” You looked up at him in awe as he nodded at the jury and came back around the table to sit down as Everett stood up and called his first witness. “Just remember what I said.” Mike said softly as he reached over and pat your back as an elderly man came in and sat down at the witness stand to be sworn in.

“Mr. Jones, how are you today?” Everett started with a smile.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Now Mr. Jones, can you tell me where you were on November 22nd, 1963?” Your mind instantly flashed to that day, and you knew exactly where this man was on that date.

“I was in Dallas, Texas at Dealey Plaza with my late wife to see President John F. Kennedy.”

“And where were you exactly, Mr. Jones?”

“We were sitting on the grassy knoll. I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“Now, refresh my memory.” Everett said almost sarcastically. “You were there, what happened, and what did you see?” You couldn’t stop your mind from following the man’s description as he led up to the moment the shots were fired, but from your point of view. You remembered getting off the way to advanced for its time jet, and heading through the packed streets to get to your mark. You remembered slipping into the shadows of a giant tree behind a picket fence and you could even feel the weight of your gun in your hand as you held it up and pulled the trigger. The faint hum of your daughter’s bed time song caught your attention though as it wasn’t part of the memory, and you shook your head and glanced behind you at Pepper, who simply smiled and nodded as she hummed a few more notes and stopped.

“So you saw the shooter?” Everett asked with a slight tilt of his head. “What can you tell me about her... or him.” He clarified, quickly before Mike could object.

“It was a woman.” Mr. Jones said with a small nod. “Caucasian, roughly five foot five like my wife, dark hair, wearing all black.”

“Anything else?” He asked as he oh so subtly adjusted his watch on his wrist, but Mike immediately jumped on it at the same moment you realized exactly why Tony and Bucky had insisted you wear the shirt you had on under your suit jacket.

“Objection! Leading!”

“Councilor, I will only warn you once.” Judge Benson said as she looked down at him as he raised his hands in innocence.

“Wasn’t leading...”

“She had a metal arm!” Mr. Jones said over him as if he had just remembered the award winning answer on a television game show.

“Your Honor, can you ask council to instruct his client to remove her jacket and roll up her sleeves.”

“Against my better judgement...” She started, but you had already stood up to take off your jacket anyways. The black metal stood out spectacularly against the light pink, sleeveless, backless, collared halter top button down you had on, and nearly the entire room gasped at the sight. You purposely turned around to hang your jacket on the back of your chair so that every single member of the jury could see your scars, and you went out of your way to use both hands to collect your loose hair to pull it over your right soldier so that the jury had no choice but to see what HYDRA did to you.

“A metal arm like that?” Everett asked as he turned back to the witness with a victorious smile, not realizing that every single thing he was doing was just setting himself up for failure.

“Yes, just like that.”

“No further questions.” He said with a nod as he walked back over to his table.

“Mr. Jones, you said you remember that day as if it was yesterday, correct?” Mike asked with a smile as he stood up from his spot.

“Yes, sir. I do.”

“Wonderful. So you can remember if the shooters metal arm was black or silver, correct?” You could see the subtle hesitation in Mr. Jones’ eyes as he glanced at you for a moment before looking back up at your attorney. 

“It was black. Matched her outfit.”

“And, how was the killer wearing her hair?” He continued as he leaned back against the table. “Down like it is now? Up in a pony tail? Do you recall?”

“It was...” He started as he glanced over at his lawyer, who no longer had a smile on his face. “It was pulled back. I’m not sure what the style was called back then.”

“And her outfit. I know you said it was all black, but could you describe it further?” You could see the slight panic in the witnesses eyes, before he jumped to the defensive.

“Are you calling me a liar, sir?!”

“Not at all, sir.” Mike said with a shake of his head as he turned around to grab something from the file he had sitting on the table. “Merely asking for more details. Defense exhibit one, your honor.” He said as he pulled out a stack of paper to give to the judge, to the jury, and to the witness since the prosecution had already been given the photographs. “Now Mr. Jones, would it surprise you in any way to know that up until 2018, Dr. Barnes had a silver metal arm with a giant red star on the shoulder as seen in photographs recovered from leaked HYDRA files from 1932, and 1967, photos from government files from 1974, ‘81, ‘91, ‘96... all the way to personal photos of her in Stark tower up until 2018 when it was exchanged for the current arm she has now?” He paused for a moment so that Mr. Jones had a chance to look through at least some of the photos, before continuing. “And would it also surprise you to know that the uniform she has on in those HYDRA and government photos was the official quote ‘uniform’ for the Winter Wolf, and that it never deviated?”

“Objection!” Everett snapped as he finally got to his feet. “How is he supposed to know that?”

“Just simple questions, that’s all.” Mike said as he took the photos back from the witness and walked back to the table. “No further questions.” As he sat back down at the table beside you, he put the photos back in their file before glancing over at you with a smile. “Don’t worry. I’m just getting started.” A smile pulled at the corners of your lips as Everett got up and called his second of fifteen witnesses, realizing at that moment that your lawyer was going to win this case.

Part 16

[admirange]

Mcl style contest outfit dump pt. 2

Royal

I went more medieval/fantasy style, honestly just spent a lot of time layering and combining outfits to create this kinda disney princess vibe. Soo thankful for the shared items still! Didn't have royal Taki so fantasy mushroom Taki it is. Left the background mostly empty, as it's an open area and I don't have this or similiar bank packs to decorate.

Got low ranking with it. I can see it's not the best or prettiest, but hoped for better.

Appetizing

I didn't really have an idea for this theme. Couldn't imagine dressing up as a burger or something. I knew we have a lot of candy themed accessories, so I went with that idea. Tried to show the softness of cottoncandy, stuck with white-pink-blue-yellow colors. Clown Taki matched those, so clown Taki it is. I think the background is cute as well, also matches the outfit'a colors.

Got low ranking with this one as well. I managed a lot of people would do something similar candy-like (idk if I was right tho, I didn't really vote when this theme was on) so I wasn't surprised, but still a little disappointed. I like this one!

Absynthe guard

I'm a proud absynthe guard member! Always was, always will be. The Eldarya clothes aren't that tipical medieval fantasy clothes, they always have a few touch of modernity in them. So I tried to recreate that vibe as best as I could. The colors are obviously in the range of yellow-blue. The fantasy mushroom Taki was a must. So so grateful for the shared room background. Fits Eldarya perfectly! With the decorations I tried to show the guard's job as the brains of HQ.

Got low ranking with it too. Well I expected it tbh, not my best creation especially without the fantasy clothes, but I wouldn't call it bad.

Doctor

This is an easy theme, doesn't require much accessories. I recently finished watching Manifest with my mom, Saanvi was my muse when creating the outfit. Although it doesn't look like her at all, I still hold it dearly. Stuck with blue, white and this teal color, we automatically think of doctors when we see them. Worky worky Taki is perfect next to her (it's also my favourite Taki outfit, funfact). With the background I tried to do a resting room of some sort.

I got 3rd place with this ⁉️ Jaw was on the floor. My best ranking so far!

Elementary

Didn't really understood what the theme tried to say (like when there were 2 groups of people with the night court theme). Elementary, like school? Or the elements like fire, air, etc.? I guessed the later, since that animation movie about those element people called elementary as well (or I thought at the time, thinking about it now maybe it's simply elemental?? Idk). Anyway I went with water theme. Blues and whites, tried to use clothes to recreate waterflows. Used the little boat bag because yk, water, lol. Didn't have a Taki that matched the theme so turned it off. The background is mostly empty, just the necessary water elements and some plants.

Got low ranking with it. Wasn't surprised, not my best creation.

Thigh highs

I managed people would go in a sexy e-girl type of vibe so I just went with it. The thighs were a shared item, I kinda just built the whole outfit around it. I didn't want to turn it too sexual, went with more of a comfy vibe. I wanted to do a more elegant background, but I couldn't match it with the outfit. So this is the final product, Taki was selected to match the room as well.

Got low ranking too. Wasn't surprised since it's pretty simple, but I'm still satisfied with it. I think it's cute!

Thanks for reading, can't wait to show the ones still in voting!

[pricegouge]

Oooooo you want ghost stories???

SO

Grandma has had prophetic dreams. She once dreamt she was at a tea party with a bunch of women who were all dead (her mom, her grandma, etc) except for one. Her best friend’s mother. Roughly a week later, said best friend’s mother dies in the hospital from heart issues.

Grandma’s (former) house is MONDO haunted. As in, pretty much everyone has had experiences including the family friend we had helping us touch up the house and move everything out. One I’ve had specifically is when I was staying up late in the downstairs TV room playing with a friend online, both of us heard a massive bang from another room. Him through my shoddy mic, and me. Never figured out what fell, but it sounded like something was shoved over. There were no animals in the house and I was the only person on the first floor.

Another spooky experience: Late at night again, I’m sitting in grandma’s office/den, which has two doors. The door that leads into the living rooms/TV room is closed bc it gets dark and scary at night. I’m sitting in the chair, both doors closed, the only one awake on the first floor. And I hear someone knock once on the door leading to the living rooms. I went to bed after that.

On the topic of the house, I’ve had nightmares regarding it lately. I practically grew up there, and having to sell it was really fucking painful for my family. It’s horrible knowing that I’ll never set foot in there again when I spent so much of my childhood in there. I’m scared that my resentment and anger of having to give up the house may have left something bad inside. The place is already haunted, but I’m worried that I may have planted the seeds for some kind of construct made of emotional energy, like a poltergeist. I really hope the new owners treat the house well. It’s an old, old house (built in 1900) and the ghosts are all our ancestors. I had plenty of days where I went to the third floor, the place I felt most comfortable speaking with them, and told them to please be kind to the new tenants, but I wonder if it was enough. My mama and I watch Dead Files together a lot, and part of me wonders if we’ll ever see an episode where Amy Allen gets called to walk through Grandma’s House.

There’s also the uncle who I’m fairly certain is cursed and whom we don’t talk to because he may or may not have killed my great grandpa, but that’s another story

~🦋

Answering under the cut just to keep things short on dash

Okay so full disclosure I'm like 98% sure I don't believe in ghosties HOWEVER, that 2% is a direct result of living with my grandmother as a kid in a house built in the 1700s and Seeing Some Shit

So with that in mind, I fully believe you and that house sounds crazy! I'm sorry your family had to sell it :( I'm not quite in a comparable position because I COULD see my grandmother's house now because my uncle owns it, but it's been fully renovated and none of it still feels the same :( I get so sad every time I visit because like ... Where is she? What did you do with her memory? I'm not sensitive to believing my turmoil would leave a mark on the house, but I can easily see where a similar feeling from you would make you feel like that. That being said, whichever family members still linger, I'm sure they know you only want the best for the house and any negativity you may have left was absorbed as what it was, silly little mortal emotions that everyone has at some point. Your ghosties sound similar to the ones that haunt my grandmother's place in that they all sound generally benevolent except for the odd spook.

You may one day see them on a ghost show but I bet you any money they'll keep being a sweet, if slightly scary, presence. I don't think us living people have that much sway over their temperment 💛

[stitchkiss]

tell me a story about u

bestie you know more of my stories than anyone and you still want more?? i can’t believe you aren’t sick of them yet lmaoo. i’ll tell you a few from that liam-esque list i sent you a while back.

GATHER ROUND KIDS!! STORYTIME!!

story 1: idek when this was probably when i was like 13 but anyway we were gardening n shit and i was by all the tools takin a break bc i planted like 20 zucchini seeds (bad idea in hindsight all we ate that summer was zucchini) and i was tired. so i look down and there’s a garden hoe next to me and i’m getting flashbacks to my childhood when i watched tom and jerry obsessively and i think “huh. i wonder what would happen if i stepped on it” guess what happened. smacked me right in the face the second i stepped on it. blood went everywhere. face, clothes, tools, soil. brother is laughing. sister rushing for towels. mom making sure my nose wasn’t broken. dad wishing i was never born. my face messy with tears n blood n sweat. i consider this a win bc not only did i get to live out a childhood fantasy but i didn’t have to garden for the rest of the day!

story 2: i am. dumb. and impulsive. and i think movie magic applies to me. all this, but i’m 9 years old. we had just moved and a perk was that a golf cart came w the house. so when, for reasons i can’t remember, there was a dirt hill in my backyard i knew EXACTLY what to do with it bc i had just watched wreck it ralph AND played a mario kart tournament the night before so i know a ramp when i see one. see where im going w this? when i saw the dirt hill i got on the golf cart and fuckin floored it. the thing is, i didn’t know that the dirt wasn’t packed in, so it was too soft for the tires. i did not make it over. the cart tipped over and i fell out. it almost crushed me. the funniest part ab this is when my mom came over to check on me she was like “i saw you speed off and i KNEW what you were doing” i wasn’t allowed to try it again.

3. i had a goldfish named herbert. i won him at a festival when i was like 12 and he came in a plastic baggie like from finding nemo. so i brought him home and i quickly realized i had no place to put him bc he was my first (and only) fish. so i threw out these flowers my mom had in this really big vase and i put him in it instead. during this time i didnt have a phone bc i accidentally broke it a few days before when i was jump roping and had it in my pocket and it flew out. SO i didn’t know what to feed herbert bc no google and neither did anyone else and they didn’t want to help me raise my new son so i had to figure this out by myself. do you know what i fed him instead of fish food? ritz crackers. how tf was i supposed to know the salt from the crackers would kill him. the concept of “freshwater fish” eluded me at the time. i woke up the next day and he was floating at the top of the vase. but the worst part of this story? i was preparing a small, intimate funeral for herbert bc he deserved nothing less and i took him out of the vase and put him on a plate. then i left for like 5 minutes to make sure my brother and sister were going to be in attendance and to throw some rose petals in the toilet bc if i was gonna flush him it might as well be beautiful. but. when i went back to the kitchen to get herbert, my cat was eating him.

4. last story! my cousins and i are really close and we do this thing when all of us are available and we call it a version of guy’s grocery games based on who the judge is that night (we replace the g with our initial) where we each make food but change it up in a creative way. this time was pizza. i teamed up w one of my cousins and we decided to make a pizza based off the fast food chain raising canes. so we go to canes and order a bunch of chicken and fries and bread and we even got a cup full of canes sauce for $5 and we also bought a premade pizza dough. the pizza was DIVINE and i’d eat it again but be warned you need pepto bismal on hand if you eat it bc it’ll rly fuck up ur insides. but, even tho it was the best invention ever, we didn’t fucking win. what did we lose to, you ask? a ramen pizza. my brother and his gf made it w the recipe I SENT HIM!! but the thing is, this recipe called for soy sauce and my cousin is allergic to soy. my brother asked me for his allergy list in preparation and i forgot to put it on there. so my cousin was ab to take a bite when my brain connected the very very important dots and i smacked it out of his hand.

hope u enjoyed all that!!

[imafrickinglion]

idk this post is a rats nest

We close on my old house tomorrow. The one mom bought on husband 2, not even husband 3 (and current real legit father, thanks for adopting me bucko).

I wasn't so young that I've forgotten everywhere we lived before then. I can clearly remember the home on mechanic street where we lost husband 1. He stole our cat and our money jar, our fish tank, and oddly the door frame that we measured me against and penciled in the ages. I don't remember that dad a lot. He forced mom for visitation and he took me to this other house a couple of times that I have flashbacks about because good things didn't happen there. Eventually she sued him and I never had to go there again.

But there are good times in that old place. Painting my bedroom pink, various renters we had in the 3rd bedroom, parties, our first Atari, our first Hurricane. Pumpkin carving one year. The old washing machine with the squeezey thingie and washboard we used for a while.

After that we moved into a duplex in another city for a while. I have clear memories of good times there, too. We still helped people out in our church community by letting them live in our basement sometimes. I had a huge fish tank in my bedroom window and we had to use pastry rollers to get it into the bathroom to wash it. We had parties there, a tree house. One year a couple of kids sold us some of our favorite handmade Christmas ornaments on our back porch.

So it's not like this third house is the only family house we ever lived in. But it's the first house I lived in with my sisters. It's the house they mostly grew up in. It's the house we *all* grew into adulthood in. And it's a house that all three of us have moved back into here and there to take refuge from bad situations.

Seeing it so empty was difficult. But I could not take care of it. It was a broken down husk of a house by the time I got to it. A contracting situation never resolved. I spent from 2017 to 2023 freezing to death in my own kitchen and living room. We had no idea how *awful* the air was until we left it (lots of open walls, open ceilings, old house dust, construction dust, dirt that just magically came from nowhere and never cleaned).

I never could take care of the overgrown gardens, or trim the lilac bush my mother picked out and had specially planted, or take care of the red Japanese Maple she did the same with.

I'm sad, and I feel like I'm hitting the end of things I can focus on to distract myself from finally facing the truth of all this. It feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, with less and less things to stop you from falling.

But also I hope the investors make it beautiful again. I hope they clean it up and put new floors and open up the living space and make the bathroom shine again. I hope they put that gorgeous farm style kitchen in that'd make that small kitchen shine and that some small family or couple just starting out cook together in it and create great memories, like we did, baking pies and cooking for thanksgiving and new year's parties. I hope someone makes the gardens pretty again.

I hope whoever buys it takes such, such good care of it.

And that's kind of the best thing I can hope for. It makes it bittersweet. I couldn't take care of this family home but another small family might. I hope they do. I hope they fill that house with joy instead of misery and shame. I hope they build fires in the fireplace and snuggle up cozy in the winter. I hope they get a couple of pets, too. Maybe put in a new fence and get some dogs. We used to have this huge gorgeous black lab named Beauty, and when she had puppies, we also kept one named Ralph. We've had mice in that house, hamsters that escaped and got lost (but always found again). More than one or even three black cats.

I just... I hope the house gets loved again. I hope it gets used again. And that the next people can keep up with it and it never feels neglected again. Through mostly no fault of my mother or my own, it got neglected so much. You could feel it giving up, just like I did. I want the spirit of the house to be proud again.

So yeah, just... thoughts.

[astroyongie]

Heyyy

So there's this orange cat 🐈, she's been coming to my house again and again, she/he always comes back, the first time s/he came in jan- feb, I live on the top floor and there's no way s/he can come, but I'm sure the cat comes from the building that is beside my building. So when s/he came for the first time, s/he was eating mouse, behind one of my plant. It was early in the morning like 8-9 am. We kept the cat the whole day with us but we had sent her/him back at night. She went back to the house we used to live in earlier. Now there is new family so the cat lives with them, but after some time the cat again came back to our house. We fed him/her some milk and again sent him/her away. This continued for some more 2-3 times.

But today it was totally different, There were 2 baby pigeons in my balcony. Their mom was making them Lear how to fly, they were going to fly in some more days. We daily see them, take care of them, so today in morning, my mom went to drop my sister at school, she saw that the baby pigeons were totally fine. She came back, and the baby pigeons were totally fine that time too, after some hours, my mom heard the 'meow' she went in balcony and saw that the cat was eating those baby pigeons. That was horrible. The cat killed the baby pigeons and eat them, there were two of them. We somehow cleaned the place and sent the cat back. It was difficult to sent the cat back since s/he was eating them . We left it and when s/he was done eating s/he went into the stairs and left the house.

So in conclusion, I want to know what does this can possibly means? It does mean something? Or am I just overthinking? If it does mean something related to spirituality then I would like to know, but if it's nothing and I'm just overthinking it, I want to know that too. So, in case you can help me ???

Thank you, have a great day/night.

<333

Hey love!

Honestly I think you are just overthinking it, as to me this doesnt sound like any message or anything.

In terms of what happened, it was just nature. Cats are predators and they will feed themselves on what they can hunt even if those are baby pigeons. I am very sorry that you had to assist that. Please take in consideration that this cat was only acting by its nature, that it was probably hungry and they do what they can to survive (just like the pigeons). I wouldt worry too much about spiritual meaning as for me, you just assisted to a natural behavior

[cozycottagetarot]

Heyy

So there's this orange cat 🐈, she's been coming to my house again and again, she/he always comes back, the first time s/he came in jan- feb, I live on the top floor and there's no way s/he can come, but I'm sure the cat comes from the building that is beside my building. So when s/he came for the first time, s/he was eating mouse, behind one of my plant. It was early in the morning like 8-9 am. We kept the cat the whole day with us but we had sent her/him back at night. She went back to the house we used to live in earlier. Now there is new family so the cat lives with them, but after some time the cat again came back to our house. We fed him/her some milk and again sent him/her away. This continued for some more 2-3 times.

But today it was totally different, There were 2 baby pigeons in my balcony. Their mom was making them Lear how to fly, they were going to fly in some more days. We daily see them, take care of them, so today in morning, my mom went to drop my sister at school, she saw that the baby pigeons were totally fine. She came back, and the baby pigeons were totally fine that time too, after some hours, my mom heard the 'meow' she went in balcony and saw that the cat was eating those baby pigeons. That was horrible. The cat killed the baby pigeons and eat them, there were two of them. We somehow cleaned the place and sent the cat back. It was difficult to sent the cat back since s/he was eating them . We left it and when s/he was done eating s/he went into the stairs and left the house.

So in conclusion, I want to know what does this can possibly means? It does mean something? Or am I just overthinking? If it does mean something related to spirituality then I would like to know, but if it's nothing and I'm just overthinking it, I want to know that too. So, in case you can help me ???

Thank you, have a great day/night.

I've literally been thinking about this all morning long trying to come up with a half-decent answer 😫. Honestly, I don't think it's a spiritual sign, I think it's just a situation that majorly sucks and that's why you can't stop overthinking it... after all you had kind of grown attached to both the cat and the baby pigeons. I mean sure it's nature... but you know it doesn't make it hurt any less. As far as overthinking goes, maybe try allowing yourself to be sad about it for a little while rather than thinking you have to get over it immediately? You could also come up with a way to honour the baby pigeons if that makes sense. Try to give yourself some compassion right now. I hope this helps a little. Feel free to message me or send me another ask if you need to/feel like it. x

[psychelis-new]

Heyy lyss <3

So there's this orange cat 🐈, she's been coming to my house again and again, she/he always comes back, the first time s/he came in jan- feb, I live on the top floor and there's no way s/he can come, but I'm sure the cat comes from the building that is beside my building. So when s/he came for the first time, s/he was eating mouse, behind one of my plant. It was early in the morning like 8-9 am. We kept the cat the whole day with us but we had sent her/him back at night. She went back to the house we used to live in earlier. Now there is new family so the cat lives with them, but after some time the cat again came back to our house. We fed him/her some milk and again sent him/her away. This continued for some more 2-3 times.

But today it was totally different, There were 2 baby pigeons in my balcony. Their mom was making them Lear how to fly, they were going to fly in some more days. We daily see them, take care of them, so today in morning, my mom went to drop my sister at school, she saw that the baby pigeons were totally fine. She came back, and the baby pigeons were totally fine that time too, after some hours, my mom heard the 'meow' she went in balcony and saw that the cat was eating those baby pigeons. That was horrible. The cat killed the baby pigeons and eat them, there were two of them. We somehow cleaned the place and sent the cat back. It was difficult to sent the cat back since s/he was eating them . We left it and when s/he was done eating s/he went into the stairs and left the house.

So in conclusion, I want to know what does this can possibly means? It does mean something? Or am I just overthinking? If it does mean something related to spirituality then I would like to know, but if it's nothing and I'm just overthinking it, I want to know that too. So, in case you can help me ???

Thank you, have a great day/night.

<333

Hello!

It's true that the Universe may send us signs in different ways and we should keep attention to them, but it's also true that not everything is a sign. And despite animals may be one sign (eg. cats generally are a sign of protection and spiritual connection), I think it's mostly when we see them randomly (or dream of them -but here meanings may change according on how you perceive those animals) and not continuosly as it was for you with this cat. Or when we have some kind of specific direct interaction with them, starting from them. Ofc at times it's hard to differentiate what can be a sign from what not, especially if there are other stressing situations going on in our life and we fear missing out on something important: that's why it becomes fundamental to stay grounded and not let worries take us over (whether what we saw/read/heard was a sign or not and how we should interpret it -generally a sign it's clear for you, as your intuition will know its meaning but it's also true that our mind may come in between with doubts). Anyway be sure that if a message needs to reach you, it will in any way when it's time. Universe can change the way in which it delivers it to you, so you won't miss out. Just always focus on not letting your mind take over cause it may cloud your thinking and not let you receive properly.

Anyway this to me sounds like plain cat behaviour. From my personal experience (I had a bunch of cats in my life and none of them was trained to be a house-cat, they were all wild predators; except for a couple we "adopted" and we did it by giving them food), anytime you give food to a cat, it just comes back. Cats aren't loyal as dogs, and especially those who have no owner but move freely around the town, they go wherever they find food as they just need to survive. This cat in/around you/your house found a mouse, milk, and even pigeons... I'd put 5 starfishes on Catadvisor if I were in them. Not to mention orange cats also have an history of being used by Vikings on ships as mouse-catchers (they're some of the most adventurous and good predators among cats). But yeah, nothing to worry about in the end from what I am getting.

Hope this helps, take care!<3

[mint-moon25]

APRIL - ARIES - MY GRAMMAR - IS - OKAY -

ONLY - BACKGROUND - MY - BERLIN - YES -

GERMAN - FATHER - DIDN'T- TEACH - ME -

HOW - 2 - SPEAK - MY - PINAY - MAID -

WHO - TAUGHT - ME - HOW 2 SPEAK -

MY - GERMAN - FATHER - ABANDONED -

ME - TWICE - AS - A - BABY - HOSPITAL -

TREATED - 4 - ALLERGIES - KIDNAPPED -

BY - PHILIPPINE - ADOPTED - MOM FOR -

THEY - STRANGLED - 2 - DEATH - WENT -

ALL - THE - WAY - WITH - THEIR - FIRST -

BORN - BABY - GIRL - AS - CHRISTIANS -

IVCF - UNIVERSITY - OF - PHILIPPINES -

WHO - STARTED - USA - FAMILY - INSURANCE -

$1 MILLION - PER - CHILD - MURDERED DEAD -

FR - CANCER - DISEASED - SUICIDE - ANY YES -

DEATH - NO PROOF - TAX - FREE - $1 MILLION -

WHY - TRAVELED - WORLDWIDE - MY - MAID -

AND - I - HEARD - IN - VIETNAM - PAID MALES -

2 - KILL - HER - AND - ME - FAILED - AGE 6 -

THEIR - OBEDIENT - 2ND BORN TRIED BUT -

HOLE - ON - FOREHEAD - MADE - ME - YES -

PARTIALLY - QUADRAPLEGIC - BUT - LOST -

MY - INTELLIGENCE - AND - LANGUAGES -

GRADE 2 - MY - GERMAN - FATHER - YES -

FOUND - ME - PER - HIS - PARENTS - AT -

COLLEGE - OF - ST AUGUSTIN - 4 - KIDS -

GRADES - 2 - 4 - DASMARINAS VILLAGE -

GRADE 2 - MET - GRANDPARENTS AND -

GREAT - GRANDPA - BERLIN GERMANY -

LIVED - IN - PARIS - AND - ROME ALSO -

SUMMERS - THEN - LIKE - MS UNIVERSE -

2015 - PIA WURZTBACH - THEY ABANDONED -

US - AT - AGE 9 - ME - IN - A - MAKATI - MALL -

I - TRIED - 2 - RECALL - MY - BAHAY - KUBO -

2 FLOORS - BUNGALOW - THEN - A - PINOY -

MALE - CHILD - STARTED - CRYING - 4 - HE -

WAS - LEFT - BY - HIS - FAMILY - IN - THAT -

MALL - COMFORTED - TOLD - HIM - WE -

CAN - THINK - BETTER - WHILE WE ATE -

I'M - PAYING - AND - AS - WE - WERE -

EATING - REMEMBERED - WHERE - I -

LIVE - AND - HIS - FAMILY - FOUND - HIM -

THEY - 1ST - TIME - IN - MANILA - MOTEL -

VERY - EXPENSIVE - I - SAID - BOARDING -

HOUSES - NON-COED - BEST - WAY - 4 PH -

CHEAPEST - SHOWERS - REAL - NICE AND -

MORE - SO - WITH - A - UNIFORMED - MAID -

LARGEST - ROOM - COST - AND - BOOKED -

THEM - TOLD - THEM - HOW - 2 - AND - ME -

BROUGHT - MALE - CHILD - AND - THEY -

CAN - MEET - US - LATER - THERE ALSO -

THEY - MOVED - 2 - MANILA - AFTER -

SEEING - MY - BUNGALOWS - ADDED -

FRUIT - TREES - MY - WINNING THEIR -

SINGING COMPETITIONS IN - MANILA -

GAVE - ME - MORE - THAN - ENOUGH -

MONEY - 2 - BUY - MY - LAND - THEN -

BOUGHT - FRUIT - TREES - HAD - YES -

PLANTED - SURROUNDING BUNGALOW -

INSIDE - MARBLE - 4 - AIR CONDITIONER -

THOUGH - LAND - LOVED - THAT - AC - 2 -

PLANTED VEGETABLES - OTHER FRUITS -

2 RABBITS - LOVED - OUR - CARROTS SO -

PLANTED - MORE - 4 - THEM - BOUGHT -

CHICKENS - 4 - EGGS - OUR - NEW YES -

PLAYHOUSE - GOT - MAIDS - UNIFORM -

ONE - DAY - A - MAID - WANTED 2 BUY -

OUR - EGGS - FRUITS - BONELESS -

FISH - AND - MORE - CHICKEN - 2 -

EVERYTHING - AND - WE - GAVE -

CHEAPST - PRICE - AND - MANY -

MAIDS - STARTED - 2 - BUY - FR -

US - GENERATED - OVER - P25,000 -

PHILIPPINE - PESOS - BOUGHT THE -

LAND - NEXT - 2 - US - ANOTHER -

BUNGALOW - FRUIT - TREES YES -

MORE - VEGETABLES - HIRED XO -

MANY - MAIDS - THEIR - PLACE 2 -

SLEEP - MORE - ORDERS - FROM -

US - BOUGHT - MORE - LAND AND -

ANOTHER - 2 FLOOR - BUNGALOW -

MORE - MAIDS - TODAY - OVER PH -

2,500 - CHICKENS - AND - MY LAND -

PRODUCES - 5,000 - ORGANIC EGGS -

EVERYTIME - WE - BARBEQUED CKN -

LONG - LINE - FORMS - 2 - BUY - SO -

WE - HAVE - SUPPLIED - EVEN THAT -

KNOW - YOUR - NEIGHBORS - AS WE -

BARBEQUED - MORE - AND - IT WAS -

A - GREAT - EXISTENCE - THEY - YES -

COPIED - OUR - LIFESTYLE - DESIGN -

CHICKENS - 4 - EGGS - FRUIT - TREES -

VEGETABLES - THE - NEIGHBORHOOD -

CHANGED - BUT - TODAY - HARD 2 YES -

FIND - THAT - PLACE - BECAUSE - WAS -

LAND - SURROUNDING - SO - I'M - NOT -

COMPLETELY - HOMELESS - I - JUST -

DON'T - REMEMBER - HOW - 2 - GET -

THERE - NAMES - OF - MY - BANKS 4 -

COMPLETELY - FORGOT - I - WAS - TOLD -

BETTER - WAY - HOW - 2 - SLEEP - THAT -

IS - ON - THE - TABLE - FACE - FACED FL -

DOWN - HOW - PEOPLE - TALKED 2 YES -

BLACKS - THEY - ALLOWED - THEM - 2B -

TALKED - 2 - THAT - WAY - BUT CLEARLY -

8TH - AMENDMENT - STATED - 'CRUEL -

AND - UNUSUAL - PUNISHMENT - YES -

INFLICTED' - THEY - TALKED - 2 - ME -

LIKE - THEY - WERE - AIRLINES - YES -

FLIGHT - ATTENDANTS - IN - FORCED -

LANDING - SIT - UPRIGHT - SEAT BELT -

WHEN - PLANE - DIVING - PUT - HEAD -

ON - THIGHS - STAY - DOWN - THERE -

SLEEPING - ALLOWED - AT - THE YES -

UNDERLINE - ON - THE - LIME GREEN -

TABLES - WHERE - THEY - JUST - PUT -

SIGN - L SIDE - MIAMI - POLICE - WILL -

ARREST - REMOVE - THOSE - THEIR -

YELLOW - WHITE - VESTED - SECURITY -

WHITE - SHIRT - SECURITY - DECLARE -

TRESPASSERS - THEN - MIAMI POLICE -

WILL - REMOVE - FR - LOCATION THEY -

HAVE - BEEN - DECLARED - BY - THE -

UNDERLINE - AS - TRESPASSERS FOR -

PUBLIX - HIGHEST - CONTRIBUTORS -

AS - LIME - GREEN - THEIR - COLORS -

THE - UNDERLINE - NOT - ALL PLACE -

STRONG - MBPS - 2 LOCATIONS - FOR -

ELECTRICITY - THIS - PRIVATE - YES -

LOCATION - ARE - FRIENDS - OF YES -

ARMED - MIAMI - POLICE - OPEN - CARRY -

ILLEGALLY - HANDCUFFS - PSYCHIATRIC -

QUESTIONING - INHUMANE - TREATMENT -

TORTURE - 'WITH - DUE - PROCESS - OF -

LAW' - SHOOTS - FOREHEAD - SHOOTS -

HEADS - FRIENDS - OF - PUBLIX - AND -

THE - UNDERLINE - PRIVATE - OWNED -

FRONT - OF - US - EMPTY - LAND - AND -

IN - FRONT - OF - SOLITAIRE - BRICKELL -

APT - BLDG - INFRONT - OF - SW 8 ST -

LOCATION - OF - BRICKELL - CITY - CENTRE -

OVER - $1 BILLION - 2 - CREATE - SAME FOR -

SOLITAIRE - BRICKELL - NOT - GREAT - TRUE -

PLACES - SHODDY - WORK - RAIN - FALLS ON -

2ND - FLOOR - LOBBY - DUE - 2 - STRONG YES -

WIND - THUS - GIVING - NOTICE - 2 - POLICE -

ALLIED - UNIVERSAL - SECURITY - TRANSIT -

POLICE - OPEN - CARRY - ILLEGALLY ARMED -

4 - 'WITH - DUE - PROCESS - OF - LAW' - THEY -

SHOOT - POINT BLANK - KIDS - NON-SERVICE -

ANIMALS - LEGAL - PERMISSION - MAGIC -

KINGDOM - MEDICAL - CENTER - FREE FL -

BABY - DELIVERY - FREE - DENTAL - MED -

SERVICE - FREE - SURGERY - WE - TRULY -

CONCEALED - CARRY - LESS - THAN TIC -

TAC - SIZE - BULLETS - 4 - FUN - 4 - WE -

WILL - WITH - 1 CLICK - DISAPPEAR THE -

VIOLENT - MEN - WOMEN - FLORIDA AS -

AMERICANS - FOREIGNERS - BLKS AND -

HISPANICS - EXTREMELY - VIOLENT BLK -

SPANISH - SPEAKING - EVEN - BLACKS -

FR - CUBA - OTHER - COUNTRIES - ALL -

SPEAK - SPANISH - WE - WITH - ONE -

CLICK - WILL - DISAPPEAR - THEM 2 -

FOR - AS - INDEPENDENT - DEMOCRATIC -

PARTY - 50 STATES - WE - WILL - WORK US -

THIS - CONSTITUTION - AMENDMENTS AS -

WE - SEPARATE - FR - ARMED - BY - THEIR -

STRANGE - 'DUE - PROCESS - OF - LAW' -

4 - WE - LOVE - CHILDREN - ANIMALS & -

WILD - ANIMALS - THIS - MED - CENTER -

4 - ANIMALS - ALSO - 24/7 - EMPLOYEES -

EXCEPT - 4 - TRASH - TOILETS - OWNERS -

EMPLOYEES - PER - STORE - WILL - NOT -

RECEIVE - OUR - MEDICAL - ATTENTION -

HERE - IN - USA - OVERSEAS - AS - WE -

REGISTER - EVERYONE - AS - FREE FR -

OPPRESSIVE - TYRANICAL - ILLEGALLY -

ARMED - MEN - AND - WOMEN OF THIS -

WORLD - WE'RE - 2 B - CAPTURED - BY -

THEM - AS - POOR - AS - FOREIGNERS -

AS - WOMEN - MISOGYNY - THE HARM -

ABUSE - MURDER - OF - YOUNG - GIRLS -

DUE - 2 - BREAST - SIZE - HARM - AND -

ABUSE - OF - WOMEN - 305 - PIZZA - A -

NICE - SLICE - GIVEN - ME - SO - WILL -

CONTINUE - THIS - I - AM - ALLOWED -

2 - SLEEP - HERE - THERE - IS - NO FL -

OTHER - PLACE - 2 - KILL - FOREIGNERS -

THE - UNITED - STATES - WE'RE - HERE 2 -

B - KILLED - WITH - BULLETS - KNIVES -

PNEUMONIA - TYPHOID - FEVER - GET -

KIDNEY - BLADDER - $9,000 EACH - AS -

FOREIGNERS - WE'RE - HERE - IN - 245 -

AGED - UNITED STATES - 2 - TORTURE -

ABUSE - GIVE - INHUMAN - TREATMENT -

BUT - KOREA - REMOVED - ACYRLIC YES -

NAILS - LITTERALLY - OF - BEAUTIFUL -

KOREAN - GIRLS - THE - USA DOESN'T -

HAVE - THAT - THINKING - BECAUSE -

ASIANS - AND - EUROPEANS - EAT -

CATS - DOGS - FROGS - LEGS - FEET -

OF - CHICKEN - PIGS - FEET - BEHEAD -

PIGS - PUT - THEIR - BODIES - FLOORS -

AND - WORSHIP - HEADS - OF - PIGS -

SO - WHAT - IS - WORST - THAN USA -

IN - TERMS - OF - MURDERS - KOREA -

SO - WE'RE - GOING - THERE - FAGS -

AS - WE - SUPPLY - MEDICAL - 2 YES -

GIVE - FREE - SURGERY - FREE - BABY -

DELIVERY - END - MARRIAGES - AS WE -

PRODUCE - THERE - NOT - ME - MY DNA -

BEST - COURSE - UNITE - WITH BOTTLES -

OF - TALL - BEAUTIFUL - MALES - BLUE -

EYES - MAKE - THEM - MOST BEAUTIFUL -

GIRLS - TRIPLETS - QUADRUPLETS - AND -

TWINS - AS - NEW - KOREA - PRODUCES -

GIRLS - UNTIL - QUITE - VISIBLE - 2 WIN -

MISS UNIVERSE

MISS WORLD

MISS TOURISM

MISS EARTH

WE'LL - CHANGE - KOREA - AND - USA -

UNTIL - THEN - JESUS - IS - LORD - FOR -

FOREIGNERS - IN - USA - 2 - SLAUGHTER -

AS - POLICE - 4 - THEY - THINK - AS - YES -

WOMEN - THEY - ARE - BETTER LOOKING -

WITH - THEIR - SMALL - PAYCHECKS THAN -

FOREIGN - FEMALES - AS - NEW - FINES -

$250,000 - PER - EVERY - OFFENSE

INCLUDING - MURDERS - AS - HOW

2 - PUNISH - AMERICANS - MAKE -

THEM - POOR - AS - POLICE WILL -

B - THE - ONES - DESPERATE FOR -

MONEY - THEY - STEAL - FR - $$$ -

FINES - IN - THE - FUTURE - AS -

FOREIGNERS - PROMISED - AS - WE -

BECOME - THEIR - RULERS - IN USA

[justmeinadaze]

Unattainable Part III (Eddie X Theater Girl From School

No smut yet! But we are getting there. Trust me, I'm writing the thing and I want them to get to get together and do their thing.

No real warnings. Definitely a lot of fluff when it comes to Theater Girl and Eddie. There is mentions in the beginning regarding her absentee father, her parents divorce (and all that comes with), and then of course her spurts of anxiety.

Word Count: 1,600

I walk into my front door with a loud bang; both hands packed full with groceries. The telephone on the wall is screeching. 

“Yeah! I’m coming!” 

I waddle off balance to the kitchen and slam everything down on the counter. In a half jog, I make it to the phone, picking it up with an exasperated sigh. 

“Yes! Hi. Hello. What?”

“That’s not how you always answer the phone is it?”, my father asks trying to hide his amusement. 

I lean against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. “It is actually. Keeps all the suitors that call for my hand in marriage on their toes.” He chuckles. I can hear the baby coo in the background. “Hey dad. How are you? How’s little miss?” 

“A handful for sure. It’s been a while since I’ve handled a baby. Yes, it has. Yes, it has.”

“Yeah, I’m going to need to stop doing that before I throw up.” He laughs again. It’s nice hearing my dad happy. He never seemed that way when he was here. Him and mom were always fighting. For a while, I always thought it was about me. That had to be the reason he didn’t take me with him when he left. As I got older, I started to understand that that wasn’t the case. On an intellectual level, anyway. It’s hard to not feel like a problem when the person that gave birth to you slurs it in your direction from time to time. 

“So! I was calling,” he says, “to ask if there was a way we could maybe post pone your trip up here during spring break. Susie’s team made in into championship! We thought it would be here in Pasadena so you could join us to watch but it’s out of state and with planning that trip and with the baby—”

I had honestly stopped listening after post pone. It didn’t matter what came after. The point was he was changing the plans again. Forget the fact that I hadn’t seen him in person in almost 2 years. There was always a reason and it almost always included his new family. 

“—I was thinking I could fly up there for your graduation and then we could fly back together and you can spend a couple of weeks here before you start school again, my college girl!”

“Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Susie and little miss are more important anyway.”

There a long pause followed by a deep sigh on his end. “Please don’t be that way. I’m trying here.”

“No. I know! I completely understand. Hey, Dad, by the way, where AM I going to college?”

He was silent so I continued, “My major? What do I want to do with my life? Anything?”

The sound of the baby starting to get frustrated is the only sound I hear in response. Yeah… me to kid. 

“Ok well, Dad. I always appreciate these little talks. I have to go but I’ll tell mom the usual. The check is in the mail and *mimics his stern voice* make sure you spend it on our kid and not yourself. I love you! Bye!” I hang up the phone before he can respond. He won’t call back. He never does. 

I shuffle back to the kitchen and put everything away. I grab my bag and head to my bedroom. Face planting into my bed, I let out a scream into the pillow. Rolling over on to my back, I look up at the posters on my ceiling, my eyes falling on to the bright yellow AC/DC 1986 Tour banner. I remember when my dad took me to one of their concerts when I was younger. He put me on his shoulders so I could see and he could hang on to me. I can still smell the beer and cigarettes. People were screaming the lyrics, jumping up and down, their hands fisted into the air. My dad had given me a little black bandana to put in my hair to pull it out of my face. I still have it currently tied around the mirror on my desk. We had so much fun but my mom was so upset. 

“Daniel! You can’t take her to that environment!”

“She’s fiiiiiiiine. I had her on my shoulders the whole time and we stayed near the back. It’s not a big deal. You used to love ‘the environment’ as you call it. She’s 8, Abby! Let her experience some fun.”

“Yes, but I grew up and became a mother. Its time you grow up to and be her father! Not a friend!”

“Good God. I can’t do this with you right now.”

As I shake the memory, my eyes drift over to the Metallica poster. I smile thinking about Eddie’s shirt. He was probably a regular of “the environment”. I reached into my bag and pulled out my folder with his number on it. I look at the clock on the wall. 7:00pm. He did say anytime. I mean it’s not like its midnight but I don’t want to bother him!

I grab the telephone by my bed and hold it in my hands. The sound of the dial tone feels like even its rushing me to make a decision. Fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen? I dial the number and listen to the rings. One…two…three… this was a mistake. I should hang up. He probably wouldn’t want to talk to me really. He was just being nice before. Ok. I’m going to hang up. 

I suddenly hear music that I immediately recognize as “Hungry for Heaven” by Dio blasting from the other end of the line. “YES!”, Eddie shouts,” WHAT DO YOU NEED?”

“Are you listening to Dio full blast? HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAF?!”

I hear him quietly say my name, something that sounds like “Oh shit.”, and the sound of the music during off.

“Hey. Hi. Hello!”, he stumbles out.

I start to giggle, “Hey there. You can keep the music on. I like that song.”

“Oh yeah? You like Dio?”, not even trying to hide the shock in his tone.

“Yeah. Sorry. I know every time we’ve barreled into each other I’m not wearing my all black, leather pants with the torn-up jacket and rock band labeled t shirt but I do enjoy the music.”

“Yeah, that’s on you, babe.”, he laughs. I can hear the music turn back on but on a substantially lower level. I lean back against my pillow, getting comfortable. 

“So,” I begin not wanting him to get bored of talking to me, “what are you doing?”

“Besides going deaf?”, he asks sarcastically. I smile. “Well, I usually have nights to myself since my uncle works so I’m just laying here, smoking, listening to music. Now I’m talking some pretty girl from my school.”

I can’t help but laugh out loud. “Wow. Forward aren’t we?”

I can hear his grin in his tone, “No. Forward would be more like ‘Hey. I think you’re extremely beautiful with the most beautiful laugh I’ve ever heard. I would love to take you out to a movie on Friday?’”

There’s silence. Both waiting for the other to speak. 

“But...”, Eddie begins. There it is. He’ll realize he made a mistake. I’m not worth it at all. At most maybe we can just be friends or something. I don’t know. What is wrong with me?! “…since you said you like the music, maybe we can go the bar/ club right outside of town. They are doing a concert for some indie metal bands. Would you want to come with me? Friday? You don’t have to wear the torn-up leather pants if you don’t want to. I won’t judge.”

I think for a moment. Every fiber in my brain is screaming to run. Run before this gets too real too quick. Why am I even thinking this way? It’s one night. He’s not asking for marriage, babies, and a lifetime of whatever people in the suburbs wish for. One night. 

“Ok.”

“Ok?”, his voice squeaks in cautious excitement. I can hear him clear his throat. “I mean, yeah ok. I can, um, pick you around 6 or so?”

“That sounds good. Is there anything I should bring? Money?”

I hear him scoff on the other end in fake disgust. “Sweetheart. How dare you. I am a gentleman! My date doesn’t have to lift a finger or spend a dime.”

“Oh, Ok! Goodness. I’m sorry, Strider. I didn’t mean to insult your gentleman-ness”, I giggle. 

“Why did you just call me that? Strider?”, he asks; genuinely amused. 

“That’s who says the quote you put on my folder. I mean at that point no one’s calling him Aragorn yet. I don’t think. It’s been a while since I read Fellowship.”

Silence again. Oh my god. Am I breaking this man? “Eddie? I’m sorry. Did I bore you to death? I can call 911!”

“No. No.”, he half laughs on the other end, “I just…I’ve never met a woman who knew things like that. I think I just fell in love with you.”

I laughed a kind of breathy laugh, “Oh boy. Run away now, Mr. Munson! That’s a slippery slope.”

His tone shifts back into a confident one, “Well I’m ready to find out for myself.”

There was silence again but this time it was a comfortable one. I can hear his steady breathing against the music in the background. 

“So”, he says. There’s the sound of a lighter clicking in the background, him inhaling, and then exhaling heavily. “What other bands to you like to listen to?”

[countrymusiclover]

1 - Rebellious Teenager

Part 2

Kenobi's Future

Tag list - @tyrionsprincess30 @nanagoswife @lycaonpictusphotography @bigbendyhorns @abaker74 @haideehaids @sassycowboygoatee

1 year later

"Padme, where's your sister?" I called out crossing my arms over my chest. She sits her book down laying on her bed shrugging her shoulders. Her hair is straightend and falling over her shoulders. Throwing my head back I groaned in annoyance. Padme is a good seven year old daughter. The one who actually listened to Obi and I when we say that the sands are dangerous. That we still should be on alert of the Empire possibly send more people to hunt Jedi. Spinning on my heels my boots hit the ground floor harshly and my husband takes notice from the kitchen. He stops making dinner, sitting the spoon on the countertop. "Darling, you alright?" He rests his hands on my shoulders, feeling that I'm stressed through the Force. For years Kiera has become a little bit of a pain.

I don't ever remember being a rebellious teenager growing up. But then again I think it was actually my sister who was the troublemaker. She would have us skip our lessons to go running down the beaches back home. The only thing mom ever caught me doing was reading book about the different planets when I should have been focusing on math. Becoming a Jedi gave me the chance to explore the galaxy. A big thud is heard from the girls room causing Obi-wan and I to grab our lightsabers rushing inside. Lowering my weapon I see Kiera rubbing her back with the window wide open like she was trying to sneak back in. "Kiera Kenobi!" I barked stomping my foot on the ground of the house. She slowly pulled her hood off her head revealing that her hair was no longer the Aburn color like her father's but in fact bright blonde. "Where in the galaxy have you been. And what made you think this was alright?" I pick up stands of her new colored hair but she pushed my hand down.

Kiera's POV

Opening the window to mine and my sisters room I climbed through but my left boot got hooked on a plant outside making me fall inside with a load thud. Padme leans up on the bed when our parents bursts in holding their lightsabers. Dad eyes me while mom started going off. I have been sneaking out because I like to watch the pilots leaving the town. Even today I saw one large ship land and a guy with a Wookie walked out. Dad hates flying but somehow I dream about it. Getting to my feet I pushed past mom where she shouted my name. Once I'm outside I climbed on the roof of the doorway just letting the hair blow in the wind. "Kiera, Kiera!" My ears picked up my father's voice this time. He grunts sitting down beside me still wearing his old Jedi robes.

"Mom's not happy with me is she?" I questioned resting my head on my arms crossed over my legs. He rests his hand on one knee with his other leg laying flat on the ground. "No babygirl she's not. You know she doesn't  - we don't like you sneaking out." Throwing my head back I groaned into the air. Ever since I got captured years ago with little princess Leia. I have gotten the edge to explore since a few years ago. Resting my hand on my belt I feel my lightsaber still there. Mom said I can wear it as long as I'm careful. "I'm sorry I'm not like innocent Padme anymore, dad. I just want to see what's out there." I throw my hands up then dropping them with a heavy sigh. Dad scratches at his beard which is when he's in thought. "Lisen, honey. Just be careful. You're mom and I don't want you getting with the wrong crowd."

Hours later mom and dad are asleep. Padme is coloring some drawings before I hear a small beeping on my tracker. Climbing out of the bed I hit play seeing the guy and the Wookie from earlier appear. "Hey, I saw you checked out our ship. If you ever want a ride. Come by the ship yard tomorrow night." The called ends quickly where I run a hand through my hair. Whoever the pilot was he just offered me a way to explore the world. Grabbing my green cloak and tying my boots I creak open the bedroom door. I tip toe through the house as best as I can. Swiping some credits from the table by the door I closed it slowly. "Dangerous you are, Young Kiera." I nearly scream at the sound of a sudden voice. Drawing my lightsaber out I waved it around seeing a small figure sitting at my feet. "Yoda...what are you doing here?" I asked lowering my weapon a little. The little green man stares at me glowing blue. "Keeping an eye on you I am. Worry your mother feels for your future."

"My mom doesn't understand. I - I want to leave this place." He waved his hand in disagreement. My parents looked up to the little green Jedi Master. I don't understand everything about them but they look to him for guidance. "Look to the future you shouldn't. Dangerous the galaxy is. Protecting you, your family is." Shrugging my shoulders I rest my chin in the palm of my hand, sitting on the ground. "They still want me to be that sweet eight year old daughter. Be like Padme forever. But that's not the case, Master. I want adventure and I want a love...I don't think I can get that if I remain here." The former Jedi walked over placing a hand on my shoulder, closing his eyes taking a breath. "Clear your future will be in time. Learn to control your emotions, you must...Young Kiera." Before I could say another word he disappeared into thin air where I bend my face in my knees sighing heavily.

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