#we have a 2 hour class period due to finals + we aren’t doing shit today. because it’s stagecraft and we don’t have a final in stagecraft.

[continuousmeowing]

having heart palpitations at the club (stagecraft class) (I am watching two of my classmates play smash on the wii while my body falls victim to the force of adderall and an energy drink combined)

I just drank an energy drink in four minutes flat I think I’m gong to die

[fanfictiondreamscape]

First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 2)

Title: First Kisses (Haikyuu - pt. 2) 

Genre: fluff (possibly even more than the first though I make no promises) 

Pairing: Daichi/Asahi/Nishinoya/Tanaka/Ennoshita x reader (separate) 

Notes: Though there wasn/t much demand, I couldn’t help myself. Seriously. The lack of immediate continuity actually made me mad. Otherwise, I felt the need to continue the saga with the second and (rest of the) third years! 

Anyway, here goes nothing!

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Masterlist 

Daichi Sawamura

ok, lemme get this out first

this man would be an amazing boyfriend

and this would be matched with his s/o

someone very responsible and calm, but they aren’t afraid to turn into a momentary crackhead and pull a few pranks

either way, the first kiss would for sure happen on a date

i can imagine that it would be in a movie theater

but not in the back or the very front

somewhere in the middle of the theater

now, you two had decided to go see a movie for the next date 

(consider this one your third or fourth. i can’t imagine that he’d do this on the first or second date, y’know?) 

you two had struggled on choosing a movie, but you did eventually decide

imagine whatever movie you like, but

i think the movie would be a really cheesy teen drama

something along the lines of ‘five feet apart’ or midnight sun’. definitely something with some big upstanding issue in their romance

either way, when the movie hits a romantic climax (like the first kiss or something)

he looks at you 

the way the artificial light from the screen lights up your features makes him question if you’re a human being and not an angel or sparkling fictional being 

the way that your eyes are lighting up with an odd mix of joy and sadness

everything fell perfectly

he wanted to kiss you right then and there, and though he had been wanting to kiss you since the end of your second date

sadly, he was doubting whether or not this was the right moment

what he didn’t know (or notice, rather) was that you knew he was looking at you 

and you decided to take the initiative

so you turned his head to face you once you redirected your attention and he turned away blushing

you leaned up and kissed him

slow, sweet, passionate and a little shy

it only turned more delicate when he cupped your cheek in his big calloused hand

the feeling made you lean in a little more

once you two had to break away for air, you two stared into each others eyes

you decided to peck his lips once again

he chuckled a little, but nonetheless, he draped his arm over your shoulders and you laid your head on his shoulder 

overall, the kiss? 

gorgeous. perfect. ten out of ten. 

it was very experienced, too, so there were no worries there. 

the gentleness of the experience was something that the both of you envied from other couples 

and you two achieved that

ahaHA. you thought that dadchi over here would be the first person to initiate the kiss? 

think again! he would be too caught up in if his s/o wanted to kiss him, change my mind-

Asahi Azumane

this big teddy bear

he would most definitely go for someone gentle and kind

he is shy bby, so he might choose someone fairly social

but also aware and not overbearing

he just wants love-

as for the kiss, i find that the kiss would probably happen at school

just the one off chance that he got bothered by the gangster comments

sooo

it was getting to be between hours (class and lunch), and he was hiding in a closed off area of the school

he had texted you that he might be a little late to lunch 

and the message scared you

this boy hides what he is feeling, so when he sends a text, that was code for ‘come find me in our spot i’m sad and need comfort.’ 

but like i’m crying just writing that like- 

so with that knowledge, you let your friends know that you’re gonna be a little late to lunch 

and once the final seconds of the period hit, you were out the door

you immediately ran to the quiet area 

and hugged your gentle giant boyfriend

no words needed to be said, but he did lean into your touch 

eventually, you knew that you needed to say something

this boy needs reassurance, and you have just that

you tap his shoulder and tilt your head to the floor

and the two of you sit next to each other

you have your hand over his that’s resting on the ground 

and though the silence is comforting, you know words are what need to be used here

so you speak 

“you know i love you, right?” 

cue his nod 

“you know that i don’t think you are anything even remotely close to dangerous, right?”

stillness, but a hesitant nod

“so if i were to tell you that what those people are saying isn’t true, would you believe me?”

he nods

silence looms yet again, and he scoots closer to you 

you do the same, and grip his hand to which he responds

after a few minutes of calm quiet, you look up at asahi

he has his eyes locked on the old wall

and you can’t help yourself

you lift your hand and tilt his head so his eyes can meet yours

you start to lean up to kiss him with a comforting smile on his face

and as he visibly relaxes, you kiss him

it’s not too long, not too short

but it was exactly what he needed, and he didn’t know it

the kiss itself was very shy, though

as much as you would’ve liked to say that you were 100% confident in your kiss, you weren’t

but that’s okay with asahi and yourself 

you two wouldn’t have traded a kiss so loving and soft for the world

you pull away with a slightly bigger smile, and asahi’s face is red

you’re blushing too, but when he flashes you a small smile, you turn even redder

eventually you two settle and go to lunch

so, overall, the kiss is very comforting and soft

it isn’t very long, but it doesn’t border on a peck, but you know that it didn’t cut your breath off too much 

it wasn’t very confident, but due to the softness, it was very clean (again, for lack of a better word)

10/10, softest kiss with the softest boi

Nishinoya Yuu

let’s get one thing straight

this boy is whipped for you and everyone knows it

and it’s all due to your personality

so your appearance probably wouldn’t matter much to him

someone kind, chivalrous and very intelligent is who i think he’d go for

otherwise, the kiss would probably happen, yet again

AT A VOLLEYBALL GAME HOLY SHI- 

seriously though, whether it was a practice game or not, doesn’t matter.

anyways

i imagine that karasuno is at training camp 

(and we’ll just pretend that things worked out better for them in the games) 

either way, they are in the second set

they’re riding a deuce, back and forth

tension is high, the players are starting to lose momentum.

the team managers (including you) overlooking the match are on the edges of their seats. 

it isn’t until karasuno snags two back-to-back points that tensions drop and the crows start a small celebration

unlike yaku’s though, this is an immediate reaction from noya

he runs off the court and to the bench where he jumps at you and just

BIG romantic gesture, of course

YOUR FIRST KISS! 

the kiss was very messy and excitable

just like your upbeat libero! 

but it still held a lot of meaning for the both of you 

while daichi is trying not to scream, the rest of the team is either watching in disgust, jealousy, or are ‘awwing’ at the situation

(let’s be honest, though - daichi would silently be cheering you and noya on, he just has to keep up the captain responsibilities,y’know?) 

it was fast, full of (accidental) teeth, and a little messy, but it was very loving and passionate

and he didn’t want to let go

whenever you tried to pull away he’d giggle a little and pull you back in

it’d take daichi or coach ukai to pry him off you 

and they’d be a little angry

but who can be completely angry when the second-year’s ‘it’ couple just had a romantic breakthrough? 

anyway, it’d leave you flustered and just 

reader.exe has stopped working

but you enjoyed it and noya couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for the rest of the day

general summary: unintentionally rough, but very passionate and very excited (if you know what I mean - nothing naughty)

more messy than the both of you thought, but it was perfect for the moment

ok, but like seriously- 

he’d be an amazing boyfriend, change my mind-

Ryuunosuke Tanaka

let’s kickstart this with his s/o

very feminine, but also very brash 

someone that knows what they’re worth but isn’t afraid to be a little (again) ‘feminine’ 

possibly another athlete

maybe a volleyball player...? *wink wink*

this is gonna sound horrible but

i can’t picture him OR noya having their first kiss unless it’s at a volleyball game

like, it’s not as if they go anywhere else, they just seem like the sports-kiss kinda people

ANYWAY

heres the twist 

HE is watching YOU play this time

being the ace of your team, the pressure is on when your team is struggling to keep the points up in the third set

it’s a literal game of back and forth, and you’re about ready to lose your shit

but you need to remain calm or else the team morale will drop

you’ve been pushing, but after the rotation, things have been going worse than before

tanaka is watching all of this go down with the rest of the boys volleyball club 

and while everyone (excluding tsukishima) is stressed, tanaka is BY FAR the one stressing the most

like-

his baby and their team are losing rapidly at this point

c’mON gET thE ROtAtiON sO MY BabY CaN GeT THe PoINt! 

is what he’s thinking, though he knows that’s not going to work 

(i mean, maybe it would. if he thinks that thought hard enough-)

either way, the other team calls a time out, and while they are elaborating on what to do

tanaka shouts from the stands 

and that little (pfFT WHO ARE WE KIDDING-) action gave you the hope to continue the game

when the game starts back up, everyone is back on track and scoring point after point. 

it’s starting to scare the living crap out of your opponents

but the boys watching the game are rooting even louder

as the game comes to an end, and your team is only one point away from the total win

you spike the ball, and the opposing players freeze

EASILY one of your most powerful spikes 

and EASILY the action that leads to tanaka trying to prevent himself from running away right then and there

(though he was failing physically, daichi was holding him back by his jacket lol)

as your team lined up and left, that was when tanaka had the overwhelming urge to tackle you 

(he didn’t, which you’ll see later, but you found the thought endearing after he told you)

your team is gone, the Karasuno boys team is getting ready to leave

(daichi is still holding tanaka back) 

when some of the boys are gone and your team is starting to load themselves into their vehicles, you spot tanaka

you signal that you are gonna go to your teammate

“go for it! i can wait, y/n.”

when you walk over there, you thank daichi and hug tanaka

the hug triggers tears

(”you did so well i-”) 

but like, seriously, imagine the inspiration and pure joy he feels - who wouldn’t be crying?

when you realize this you pull away

THIS moment is when he takes his chance

he cups your face when you two pull apart from the hug and just kisses you 

passionate, messy, emotional

that and so much more

it is made up of things that can’t be put into words

when you pull away, you two are both super giggly

and hesitant to leave each other

so you spring the suggestion that he joins your team for the celebratory dinner 

(he agrees) 

anyway, the kiss is very much him

very brash, but very emotional, and very proud (in a good way) 

10 out of 10, would recommend tanaka kisses

Chikara Ennoshita

now, this man does not get enough love

and i want to provide for you ennoshita fans

that being said, his girlfriend is most likely someone close to him

laid-back, intelligent, and carrying an amount of grounded energy 

you two would probably even be in the same class 

(this boy is smart, okay? i feel like he’d be drawn to his s/o’s intelligence)

that being said, the place where the kiss would happen? 

ok, get this - study session

the one where he is tutoring noya and tanaka at tanaka’s house

but after that 

think ‘hey, i’m hungry - you wanna get some food?’ ‘oh god, please-’ 

so...

over ramen after a study session

you two had just helped those two lovable knuckleheads with their studies

it was chaotic, it was draining, and you were barely thriving

though you did enjoy tutoring 

and ennoshita found that slightly odd

but endearing 

and it made him silently gush 

‘holy- s/o is an angel. how did i get a literal angel.’

the two of you were making small talk, and discussing the upcoming exams

questions that revolved around arranging study dates and how you think you’d do 

no doubt that the both of you were gonna do well, it just happened to come up 

and allow the both of you to hype each other up just a little bit

just very calmly

either way, you two had discovered something that

you were hungry

your stomach growled on the walk to your house, and while you were slightly embarassed, ennoshita was gushing at your reaction

he had immediately decided to make a detour

“you can’t go home hungry, s/o. i’ll get you some ramen.” 

you were blushing, but you were aware of the fact that your parents wouldn’t want to see you cooking something at 11 pm

you two ran to coach ukai’s shop and, while he was very wary since it was near closing, he shrugged it off

(you two didn’t know it, but he always found you two perfect for each other. he found your relationship adorable, and he left you two to your own business because of that)

you two grabbed some ramen, ennoshita paid (much to your mild chagrin), and you two waved goodbye and left for your house again

eventually, you two decided to settle on a bench after eating and walking became a chore

it was then that ennoshita was able to truly relax

and observe you 

and see your adorable chipmunk cheeks as you were eating

and he just knew

he knew that this was the night that he was waiting for 

when you were finished with your ramen and stood up to throw it away, he grabbed your wrist

very light, very feather-like, but it was firm in a metaphorical sense

you could tell he was waiting for something so you stopped

“what’s going on?” 

he simply stood up and cupped your cheek

and he kissed you

it was soft, it was gentle

with it being under the starry night sky, too - oh my the both of you were in awe 

easily an ironically romantic situation when you stop and consider that it was you dropping an empty cup of ramen on the concrete

you were reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck

and once you did, the cup fell and the two of you pulled away 

you both peeked down at the ground before chuckling a little and pecking each other on the lips 

to conclude: romantic, romantic, r o m a n t i c

this boy is so gentle, so sweet, and so loving and honestly- 

the kiss was too 

no other words for it except ‘slightly ridiculous’ and ‘beautiful’

[fresh-outta-jams]

Plastic Heart - Part 7

Namjoon x Reader Author: Mo Summary: When you get the highly-anticipated BTS dolls for Christmas, your life takes a turn in a way you never could have expected. Note: Bro listen, you are not PREPARED for parts 8 and 9. I’m writing them right now and oooooooof I’m so excited. Warnings: None? Fluff. Word Count: 1.4k

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

“Okay, so, this is one of my really old phones. I put my number in it. It doesn’t get service anymore, but it should work on the WiFi. Also, it has buttons instead of a touch screen, so you can actually use it.” You handed the phone to Yoongi, who was standing in the seven-member line-up. You were leaving for class in a few minutes, and this would be the first time you’d leave them alone for an extended period of time since you found out that they were alive. “If anything happens, text me and I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay?”

“We’ll be fine, (Y/N), really. We’ve lasted this long.” Yoongi chuckled, setting down the giant device.

“That’s not reassuring in the slightest.” You sighed, looking at each of them for a second. “You can play with the Playstation as much as you like, and I dug up my Gameboy if you want to play some games on that too. Stay away from the oven. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Why did you look at me when you said that?” Jungkook’s eyes narrowed.

“I didn’t mean--”

“I’m offended.”

“Shut up.” Jin gave him a little shove. “Let her finish. We don’t want her to be late for class.”

“Thank you, Jin. Alright, I think I covered everything…” You ran through the list in your head, and sure enough, there wasn’t anything else you could think of that mattered enough to address. “Oh, right, Namjoon is in charge.”

You winked at him and he swore he about passed out. “Y-yes, ma’am.” He gave a playful salute. “I’ll keep everything in order.”

“Alright, can I nap now?” Yoongi asked, yawning. How he managed to be tired while not actually physically requiring sleep, you’d never be sure.

“Yes, go to sleep Yoongi. Bye, guys. I’ll see you in like…” You checked your watch. “Five hours. And then we can have a movie night, alright?”

“Sounds good.” Namjoon nodded.

“Bye (Y/N)! I’ll miss you!” Jimin waved as soon as you picked up your bag and started walking towards the door.

“Bye, guys.”

And then you were gone again, leaving them alone in your apartment, this time with many more ways to entertain themselves while you were out. While Jungkook, Jin, Jimin, and Taehyung all scrambled to the Playstation to slay more dragons and Yoongi crawled into his new bed (complete with a bed frame AND a headboard and THREE more pillows) and Hoseok busied himself watching YouTube videos of BTS’ dance practices, Namjoon stood there with warm feelings swelling up in his little plastic chest.

You’d left him in charge. Him. Out of all seven of your options, you picked HIM to be in charge. Wow.

“You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?” Yoongi asked, his head on his pillows and his eyes closed. He didn’t even have to look at their leader to know that he was standing there with some dumb lovestruck look on his dimpled plastic face.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You know, you’re STILL a foot tall and made of plastic.”

“I know both of those things, correct.” Namjoon stated. “It hasn’t stopped these...feelings yet, though. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Yoongi is right, Namjoon, you better figure that shit out.”

“Believe me, Hoseok, I would if I could. It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

And it became even harder when about two and a half hours later, you texted the phone you’d left for them.

(Y/N): Hey, Joon! Is everything alright at home?

His very first text message! He grinned when he read it, sliding the keyboard out so he could send a reply.

The Guys: It’s all good here! Thanks for checking in!

(Y/N): Good to hear. I’m on break now, about to go to my stats class. Let me know if you guys need anything!

The Guys: Will do! Have fun in class!

He didn’t know why he expected you to send another text. It was pretty clear the conversation was over, but he felt his heart sink when your communication was cut short. Yoongi was right. This was a problem. This silly little plastic crush of his spiraling out of control. He could only hope whenever you found out about it, you’d let him down gently.

***

When you finally got home, the guys all rushed to stand in front of the door, bombarding you with declarations about how their day had gone while you were out at class.

“Wow, sounds like you guys had fun.” You laughed. “What movie do we want to watch tonight?”

“You can choose.” Taehyung told you, starting to walk over to the couch in front of the TV. “Jungkook and I were looking through them earlier and we...we’ve never seen a movie before, so that didn’t really help at all.”

“That is the saddest thing I think I’ve ever heard. You’ve never seen a movie???” You could feel your heart shattering as they all looked up at you with empty eyes. “Wow, we’re fixing that immediately. Just let me go make some popcorn. Go ahead and get settled on the couch, alright?”

“Okay.” Jin and Yoongi wandered over to the sofa while you went to the kitchen instead, setting a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

“How was class?” It was Namjoon. You could tell before you even turned around to look. Oddly enough, their voices all sounded like the voice of the member they looked like, so it was easy to pick them out.

“Good. We got assigned another paper, but it can wait until tomorrow. It’s not due for a few more days.” You told him. He walked across the hardwood floor, closer to you.

“Oh, alright.” He nodded. He wasn’t really sure what else to say; his imaginary little heart was pounding too loud for him to think.

“Do you…?” You motioned to the counter. He nodded, so you reached down so he could step into your hands and gently lifted him onto the smooth elevated surface. There, much better.

“What does popcorn taste like?” He wondered aloud, watching as the bag spun around and around in the humming microwave.

“It’s salty and buttery.” You told him. “It goes really well with sweet things, like M&Ms.”

“Mmm.” He hummed. That didn’t really answer his question, considering he didn’t know what salty, buttery, or sweet tasted like, but it was sweet that you were trying. “I really wish I could taste things, you know?”

“Yeah, that must suck. A lot. I’m really sorry you’re stuck like that, Joon.” You looked at him with a mix of empathy and longing on your face. “You deserve so much more.”

“I’m...I’m a toy, (Y/N). Whether I like it or not, that’s all I’ll ever be.”

You shook your head. “I think we both know you’re more than that. You are to me, at least.”

Namjoon felt something spark in his chest, your one little affirmation lighting a flame inside of him. What were all of these emotions you were pulling out of him? How were you able to just...make him FEEL things he’d never felt before? It had to be some kind of magic, he figured. Or maybe you were just something else, special in ways you didn’t even know.

The microwave beeping pulled him from his thoughts. You turned around and pulled the bag out, shaking it a few times before you opened it and poured it into a large bowl, sprinkling a few handfuls of M&Ms on top of it.

“Shoulder or hand?” You asked.

It took him a moment to figure out what you were asking, but after a second or two, he replied, “Shoulder,” letting you help him up onto your shoulder. He held on maybe a little tighter than was necessary. God, how he wished he could just hug you…

When the two of you got back to the living room, you plopped down in the empty spot they’d left you on the couch, kicking your legs up on the coffee table before booting up Netflix. You put on To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and the entire movie, Namjoon found himself longing, wishing beyond wishes that in some universe, he could be the Peter Kavinsky to your Lara Jean.

And yet, no matter how hard he wished, he knew it would never come true...

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @lilgaga98, @catbugsugarpea, @demonic-meatball, @backtonormalthings, @kbowen9, @honig-bienchen, @coolcat494, @ffantasylandd, @feed-my-geek-soul, @ayoo-bangtan, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @cap-lu20, @finninpoposu, @coldbookworm, @sitkafay, @daniawinchesters21

[theaceace]

Me? Writing more of the Stan and Richie roommates AU that would eventually become a fix-it for IT chapter 2? It’s more likely than you think!

“So how did you two meet?”

“Well, we were both part of the same hypnosis study group, and once you’ve watched a man believe he can carry an eighties power ballad non-stop for twenty minutes, you feel obligated to be his friend.”

  Richie knows a lot about Stan. He knows that he doesn’t have any allergies except mild hay-fever; that he loves birdwatching (and also birdwatching, which always gets Richie a cluck of the tongue and a smack to the arm); that he freaks out when Richie tries to do the dishes for them; and that he has an irrational fear of black holes. Riche knows all of these things, and doesn’t remember learning any of them.

Except the dishes thing. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget that.

He doesn’t know where Stan grew up – doesn’t know which high school he went to, or the name of his first pet, or if he had any other friends.

This might have been more concerning, if Richie had known any of those things about himself.

Mostly, they try not to think about it too much. If sets off a series of sparks and stabbing pains behind Richie’s eyes whenever he really tries to remember anything more than vague impressions. He thinks his parents loved him – it feels distant but warm to think of them even in the abstract. He’s sure he’s known Stan for years – they came to New York together, there’s no way Stan would just up and move with someone he’d just met. Sometimes there’ll be a smell, or a voice, or a colour, and his mind flinches away from it so suddenly that Richie is sure there must be a memory there somewhere; but it’s never anything clear. Just notions, and guesses, and dreams.

So many fucking dreams.

It’s the reason Richie’s awake at three in the morning, hunched over the narrow and unsteady stove in the corner of the apartment they generously call the kitchen. He’d woken a sweaty mess with the echo of someone screaming in his ears and his hands clenched tight around his sheets like he’d grabbed for a weapon.

From experience, he knows there’s no getting back to sleep after one like that. So here he is, frying strips of beef for fajitas to last them the next two or three days.

It’s not that Richie likes cooking, because he doesn’t. At best, he’s ambivalent to the whole thing; at worst he sometimes stands in front of the fridge for an hour, staring at the ingredients and trying not to scream because he can’t, he doesn’t know why but he can’t. So no, he doesn’t like cooking.

But Stan doesn’t just hate cooking – he’s so fucking bad at it.

Richie doesn’t really understand. Stan is fastidious in everything he does; he follows recipes to the letter, unlike Richie who just throws things in a pot and prays. And yet, the only thing about Stan’s cooking that can be relied upon is that it’s borderline inedible. So, Richie cooks, and Stan refuses to let him wash the dishes, because he doesn’t do it right.

Up until he’d moved in with Stan, Richie reckons he didn’t know there was a wrong way to wash dishes. He doesn’t remember of course, so he can’t be sure, but that doesn’t seem like the sort of thing past-Richie would know.

People are usually surprised that Richie can cook well enough to keep them both alive and free of vitamin deficiencies. To be completely honest, Richie is surprised by it as well. He’s gradually getting the hang of laundry, and he can’t keep a consistent cleaning schedule, or tidy his room, like, at all – but he can do this. Of all the adulting skills he could have spontaneously developed, he thinks this is a pretty good one.

It’s always a bit of a shock, though, when people ask him why he cooks with so much fresh fish, or vegetables, or lean meat when they can barely afford to keep the lights on, and he finds himself rambling about malnutrition among young adults. The voice doesn’t sit right in his mouth – the intonation is all off, the machine-gun rattle of consonants around his mouth nothing at all like his own lazy drawl. There are statistics that he doesn’t remember when he tries to think of them later, and he doesn’t know how or when he learned any of it.

There’s a muffled thump from the next room – Richie leaps half a foot in the air and spins around with his heart pounding wildly, tongs held in front of him like a weapon. He slumps back and only just avoids burning himself on the hob when Stan appears in the doorway.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters to himself – he rubs his forehead and turns back to the stove so he doesn’t have to see the way Stan’s mouth twists.

“Sorry, wrong Jew,” Stan says back, easy as breathing. It’s an old joke, and Richie doesn’t know how it started. “Couldn’t sleep again?”

Richie grunts; they’re both quiet for a moment. “You?” He asks finally, watching the meat sizzle.

There’s a soft rustle that Richie knows is the sound of Stan pushing his hands through his mop of dark curls. A floorboard creaks, before he throws himself down into one of the lopsided chairs at the table that serves as dinner table/writing desk/pillow when Richie is really tired.

“Couldn’t move again,” Stan whispers finally; his voice is muffled like he’d got his head in his hands.

The meat looks pretty well done by now, Richie thinks – he switches the heat off and sets the pan to the side before washing his hands carefully enough that even… even Stan couldn’t find fault with it. He shakes his head, the little skip in his thoughts already a long way away, and moves to crouch next to Stan.

He knows that Stan won’t react well to being grabbed, or to being forced to look at Richie. There aren’t many things he can do to help when it gets bad like this, so he hooks a hand around Stan’s calf like an anchor, and doesn’t consider why it feels familiar.

“I’m here,” Richie says. “Wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Stanny. Not going anywhere, won’t leave you alone, you’re here, I’m here…”

Richie is fantastic at talking about nothing at all. He can do it for hours, often long after people have stopped listening to him.

Stan always listens.

“Thanks, man,” he says finally, lifting his head from his hands. Richie grins at him and ruffles his hair, curling his fingers gently against Stan’s scalp and thumbing at one of the silvery scars along his temple. Stan always thanks him after Richie talks him back to the present; it’s sweet, but Richie doesn’t think he needs to. Stan’s done the same for him more times than either of them count.

They don’t know what it is about their childhoods that they’ve repressed so much shit this thoroughly, but Richie thinks that’s probably for the best.

Healthy? Absolutely not. But definitely for the best.

Stan shuffles over to the sink to start running water for the dishes as Richie moves back to the chopping board to start going Eddie Edward Scissorhands on the peppers. He’s got two papers due that he’s barely started, even with the help of Stan’s colour-coded study plan, but he doesn’t have the room in his mind to stress about it now. He starts whistling Bonnie Tyler and grins almost too hard to continue when Stan starts to sing along softly.

It’s not the worst night they’ve had.

  “Okay, but how did you two meet?”

“It was wild night of fiery passion, but alas, I was flying out the next morning, so I left him with nothing but a note and a kiss, and he chased me across the country to declare his undying love for me.”

  “Fuck’s sake, Rich,” Stan says heavily – but he doesn’t leave. He’s already scraped Richie’s hair back into an approximation of a ponytail so that he doesn’t have to hold it back as Richie vomits, but he doesn’t leave. The bathroom really isn’t big enough for them both to be on the floor like this, but he doesn’t leave. There’s a glass of water near Richie’s knee, and a packet of chewy mints tucked into his pocket, but he doesn’t leave.

Richie groans, and narrowly avoids pressing his cheek to the toilet seat. The room is spinning gently; he feels icy-cold and clammy from head to toe.

There’s music with such a heavy bassline that he can feel it through the floor. Richie isn’t entirely sure who’s house they’re at – he thinks it’s someone from one of Stan’s classes. He’ll have to apologise to Stan later for making such an idiot of himself, as well as ruining the night.

Stan casts a disgusted glance at the toilet, and stretches across Richie to pull the flush.

“Do you even chew your food?” He asks – there’s a joke to be made there, Richie’s pretty sure, but he can’t clear his head long enough to come up with it. He grunts something that might be the distant cousin of a reply.

This isn’t the drunkest Richie’s ever been, not even close. In the brief period of time he actually spent at college, he’d made all sorts of regrettable decisions and tried his hand at pretty much every vice available.  In the slightly longer period of time he’s spent since leaving college, he’s gone back to try every single one again, to see if the outcomes would be any different. He has a set of repeatable data points now. It’s basically science.

So no, Richie isn’t that drunk. He’s not high. He almost wishes he was, because that would be a better explanation than whatever’s going on with his brain.

Downstairs somewhere – or maybe long gone by now – there’s a beautiful boy that Richie caught glancing his way once, then quickly again. A boy that had shook his head as if in a daze; had apologised in a voice that suggested he didn’t mean a word of it. Richie had grinned, said it’s okay and happens all the time and I have one of those faces while he drank him in. Short enough to tuck comfortably under Richie’s arm when they talked, leaning in close to be heard over the music, a whisper of breath against a long throat. Tall enough that he didn’t have to rock up on his toes to press quick, filthy kisses to Richie’s laughing mouth.

The anxiety that normally presses thorns up his throat when he so much as stares at another man too long had seemed a long way away. Smothered; strangled by alcohol, loud music, and low lights.

Fleetingly, Richie had managed to wrestle enough of his brain back under control to pull away and start to ask for a name, before being distracted by insistent hands at his shirt, tugging him towards the door. It hadn’t occurred to him to try again; Richie’d stumbled along in his wake and tried not to fall flat on his face because he couldn’t drag his eyes away from the curve of his ass long enough to watch where he put his feet.

They’d finally found a corner dark enough, and been drawn back together in seconds.

He loved this – loved the lines of warmth left behind by curious hands, loved the sudden drop in his stomach as all of his blood redirected south. He felt dizzy with want, with being wanted. They barely parted long enough to breathe; Richie can taste rum and coke when he presses his tongue into his eager mouth. That mouth pulls away after long minutes of driving him mad to smear a trail across his scruffy jaw, up to his ear and then his throat.

Richie had gasped at the sting of teeth at his collarbone. Tipped his head back with a breathy laugh and curled his fingers into dark, sweat-damp hair. Pressed his palms against his cheeks to drag that beautiful face back up for another kiss; met pale eyes with a fleeting sense of wrong and –

Don’t fucking touch me!

- staggered back, one hand pressed to his mouth.

There’s a bit of a gap in his memories (ha! Another one!) between then and now. At some point he’d made it to the bathroom, and had already evacuated his stomach by the time Stan found him. Richie’s hands keep opening and clenching uselessly in the hem of his shirt, like he’s grabbing for something – or someone.

Stan doesn’t ask what happened, because Stan is objectively the best.

But Richie – Richie wants to tell him anyway.

“It was a -” and here he runs out of words. He vaguely gestures at his head. “Thing. There was a guy, and it was great, and then a thing.”

Huh. Maybe he is drunker than he thought.

“How informative,” Stan says, and it’s dry but Richie knows Stan well enough to know that he’s waiting on Richie to sort his jumbled thoughts. It’s not the dismissal it sounds like.

“A brain thing,” he says, and from Stan’s soft ah, he’s starting to get the picture.

Richie doesn’t remember coming out to Stan – or Stan coming out to him, for that matter – but he knows it must have happened at some point. Richie’d asked once, not long after they moved in together, if Stan thought they’d ever hooked up and forgotten. Stan had been startled into laughing so hard he had to brace himself on the kitchen counter so he didn’t fall over, which Richie had tried very hard not to be offended by. He understood, though. It’s never been like that, for them.

Also, Richie may or may not have a definite type; as much as he loves Stan, he doesn’t quite fit the bill.

“You remembered something?” Stan asks, and he’s careful with it, fingers drumming anxiously where he’s laid a hand on Richie’s knee. Stan always gets cagey when Richie asks about memories, which he thinks is kind of unfair – but then, Stan’s not as good at lying, or blustering as Richie is. He doesn’t have any defences except getting cagey.

“Or something,” Richie snorts. “Could’ve been a memory, or just that pesky self-loathing the street preachers are always shouting about.”

“Think it was important?”

Richie pauses, and tries – actually tries – to think about it. Whatever it was, though, has already been screwed up and jammed down to the very bottom of his memory-safe. Or whatever; his metaphors get even weirder when he’s been drinking.

“Dunno,” he says finally. “Probably was but I guess it doesn’t fucking matter now, shit!”

It isn’t always like this. There’s usually a layer of quiet fear that blankets him whenever he gets close enough to another guy to reach out, to touch, to hold, but it isn’t always like this.

Sometimes, though, the fear isn’t quiet. Sometimes it shrieks at him.

He thinks Stan gets it.

“It’s okay, Rich,” Stan says, and tugs him close for a brief hug, which must be the most horrifying thing because Richie is aware that he reeks of vomit and sour alcohol, and that he’s vaguely damp and sweaty. But Stan doesn’t complain, even when Richie presses a smacking kiss to his cheek. And Richie stands up with him and almost vomits again even though there’s nothing left to bring up but acid, but Stan just rubs his back a little too hard to be soothing until the urge has passed. And Richie knows that Stan was looking forward to tonight, that he’s wasted most of it looking after Richie and now they’re cutting the night short to stagger home and Stan will hold it over him forever; but Stan doesn’t leave.

[whatjeon]

high school student!jungkook

genre(s): headcanons/bullet points, high school!au, (low-key) fuckboy!au, (a smidge of) badboy!au, friends to lovers, slow burn (??), a lil bit of angst, kinda crack-y, basically an emotional rollercoaster

warning(s): strong language

A/N: hello friends i am back not with an imagine but a bunch of bullet points i’ll try and pass off as mini-paragraphs!! anyway, i’ve been thinking about this a lot so i figured that i might as well publish something if i want to keep calling myself a “writer”... enjoy!! p.s. sorry not sorry for all the cliches and shitty humour LOL

high school student!jungkook au 

jungkook’s the new kid at your high school and moved into your neighbourhood during the summer of your sophomore year

lives in the big-ass house with a pool and indoor theatre bc his dad’s some music producer or something

honestly you had no idea he had moved in until the first day of school and even then, you had no clue what the fuss was about (but that was partially due to the fact that you hadn’t seen him yet lol)

he’s hot af and he knows it too which makes him hella cocky

he strolls into every single class with one hand in his jean pocket and the other either: a) running through his perfectly-gelled black hair or b) loosely holding onto his backpack strap

you’re sitting in AP psych with your five thousand pencils and highlighters out on your desk ready to clutch that A for the semester when he saunters in whistling

as soon as you see him walk in you know that he’s a fuckboy™

timberlands? check

light-washed jeans? check

plain white tee? checkcheckcheck

when he catches you looking at him (not that he could blame you like tbh everyone was checking him out) he winks at you and flashes you a smirk before sitting a couple seats behind you

by the end of the day you learn that you have AP psych and AP econ with jungkook

he’s quiet in class but you know he’s smart because the first thing your AP econ teacher has you guys do is participate in a game of kahoot as a diagnostic test. you sit behind jungkook so you’re able to see his laptop screen as he clicks on the right answers. he actually places first in the entire class and surprise surprise !! you end up placing second thanks to jeon jungkook the econ god

the next day at school you’re at your locker taking out your textbook for your math course when jungkook stops by and leans against the one next to yours and goes like “i believe you owe me a thank you, hmm?”

and you’re like “for what?” bc you genuinely forgot all about the kahoot test

jungkook laughs, tilts his head to the side, and as he’s glancing at your eyes he says “econ?”

in that moment you realise jungkook is not only attractive but also really really observant

“oh,” you say, shrugging and closing your locker. “thanks, i guess. see you around... jungkook, right?”

his finely-chiselled jaw drops and he’s like who does this girl think she is omf i’m literally the talk of the school AND WE HAVE TWO CLASSES TOGETHER

all he can do is smile (not as smugly, though, since you just ended the conversation) and push himself off of the locker he was leaning against

as he turns to go to his next class he can’t help but wonder who you really are because he’s a masochist you don’t take shit and you’re... kinda cute actually

the next day in psych jungkook’s hardcore flirting with you because he is determined to prove that there’s no way any girl on earth can resist jeon jungkook 

from behind you hear a pencil tip snapping followed by jungkook’s smooth voice cursing “oh my god i don’t have a spare” and being a nice person you turn around and hand him one of yours

as he takes the pencil his fingers brush against yours (ON PURPOSE!!!) and he winks at you before saying “life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless”

you send him an unamused smile and retort “your efforts are like a broken pencil. nice try, jeon”

the nickname sticks and you proceed to call him jeon for the next four months of school

jungkook likes how you’re not madly in love with him like the majority of the school so he makes even more of an effort to talk to you and get to know you during your classes and you become pretty good friends (??) if you can call it that

it’s really more like close acquaintances who can flirt joke around with each other

sometime in october jungkook asks you why you keep calling him jeon instead of jungkook and you tell him that he’s not worth two syllables (but in reality it’s because you think his last name sounds really cool... also the corner of his mouth always twitches upwards when you do but you aren’t ever mentioning that to him) and all he does is laugh because it’s refreshing to have a girl roast him instead of fawn over him, especially since he accidentally flashed his abs at basketball try-outs whoops

time skip ! it’s november and exams are coming up in a week so you’re studying for hours on end almost every day, sleeping late and waking early until one day you sleep through your alarm

you’re rushing out the front door and getting on your bike when you hear a “y/n!” behind you

surprise!!! it’s jungkook on his motorcycle (ofc he has a motorcycle lmao)

he’s like “wow, little miss honour student late for school?” and you leave your bike on your front porch before putting on the helmet and retorting with “can you just stick with an aesthetic?? you’re clearly a fuckboy–– only bad boys own motorcycles”

jungkook bites his lip to hide his grin but the urge to smile is so strong that he has to look down at his vans so that you can’t see just how happy you make him

you’re five minutes away from school when you realise that he isn’t wearing a helmet because he gave you his and your arms instinctively tighten around his waist

jungkook almost chokes, which is unlike him because he’s jeon jungkook, one of the most attractive boys at your school and #1 fuckboy, and he’ll be damned if he starts falling for some random girl just because she’s arguably one of the hardest-working people in the grade and her eyes remind him of stars and when she laughs it’s like honey drizzling on top of pancakes on a sunday mor–– and that’s when jeon jungkook realises he likes you

WHICH IS WHY as soon as you guys get to school he walks away and flirts with the first girl he sees

you’re like “ok???” but hella confused and low-key jealous mad

littLE DO YOU KNOW that as soon as you’re out of sight jungkook’s face goes from ;) to :( because he doesn’t want to flirt with anyone else except you

school ends and you walk through the parking lot to get to the main road when jungkook spots you and rides his motorcycle over, tossing his helmet at you

“get on, y/n. we’re going home”

and you ask him why bc you’re still kinda pissed about what happened that morning and he says “it’s what friends do” even though calling whatever it is that you have “friendship” feels wrong and just a little bit painful

from that day on jungkook drives you to school and back every day on his motorcycle (after he promises you that he’ll get a second helmet), even on days where his first class is a free period and he technically could wake up an hour later than usual because homeboy is hopelessly in love with you

it’s spring AKA track season !! jeon jungkook, the golden (ex)fuckboy (you can’t be a fuckboy if you only flirt with one girl sorry jeon) of your high school, makes the ~varsity~ team

which means he can’t drive you home after school because you don’t do a spring sport :( but you’re cool with it

this is also the time when you become really close with another notorious fuckboy who lives in your neighbourhood, kim taehyung, except there’s no sexual tension between you two because taehyung is a good bro™ who just likes to get it on sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

one day jungkook sees you and taehyung walking home together when practice is canceled and he is JEALOUS AF

he knows he’s being irrational but going home together is you and jungkook’s thing !!! not you and taehyung’s thing !!!!!

so the next day he goes to “talk” to taehyung bc he doesn’t want you to know he’s jealous and basically tells taehyung to “get the fuck away from y/n or else” and taehyung smirks and refuses bc he’s a little shit

aaaaand you’re just chilling during your free period when a friend tells you that your mans jungkook and taehyung are fighting in the quad

the fight gets broken up as soon as you enter because 1) jungkook doesn’t want you to see him all violent and 2) taehyung actually really likes being your friend and doesn’t want to mess things up that badly

but the damage is done and people are already talking about how y/n, a notorious goody two-shoes, is dating jungkook and taehyung at the same time and they both found out, leading to their fight at the quad

you ignore jungkook and taehyung for the rest of the day for damage control but it’s useless and your “perfect” image has been tarnished

you head over to jungkook’s house after he’s done with track practice and chew. him. out. 

which then turns into a full-blown argument

“everyone thinks that i’m a fucking whore now thanks to you and your goddamn temper, jungkook. honestly, can you grow the fuck up?”

“well you didn’t have to go around doing who knows what with taehyung, y/n”

“as if you’re any better”

you guys are screaming at each other and the argument ends when jungkook finally loses his composure and yells “then why don’t you just fucking leave and never come back, y/n?”

so you angrily storm off, tears welling up in your eyes

the next morning you wake up feeling awful and you have half the mind to skip school for the day, but then you remember that you’re a high school student taking multiple APs so skipping class is waaay out of the question

you’re about to head out the door when you remember that jungkook isn’t there to drive you to class anymore :( so you have to go from the back door to the bike shed and take your old bike out

when you emerge from the backyard you see a figure dressed in a black hoodie and grey sweats (classic fuckboy™ clothing), leaning against his black motorcycle with his hands in his pockets, staring intently at the ground

you’re in front of him when he finally looks up

his brown eyes widen and he clears his throat nervously but you speak first because you got 0 sleep last night and seeing him look so soft and just him being there in front of your house even after a huge fight makes your heart swell

“i didn’t mean what i said yesterday. well, i did mean some parts but i never meant to use my words to hurt you. i was mad and being irrational. i’m sorry. you mean so much to me and i just–– i’m pretty sure i’m like, in love with you and oh my god did i just say that? i mean––”

and jungkook’s speechless but also relieved because then that means he doesn’t have to do the confessing first

what he does do first is kiss you in the middle of your rambling because 1) he loves you too and 2) he doesn’t want you to embarrass yourself any further lol

when the two of you finally part he just smiles really softly at you and pull you in for a tight hug

“i love you too, y/n. i’m still a little mad, though”

and you’re like oh boy, here we go but then jungkook smirks, tightens his hold on you, and says “i can’t believe taehyung is the reason why we finally confessed to each other”

when you and jungkook walk into school together with your hands tightly clasped together everyone is like POWER COUPLE ALERT because the ex-fuckboy and goody-two-shoes are actually dating ?!!

bonus: you guys are voted prom king and queen wow stan legends stan jungkook and y/n

extra bonus: taehyung is your ship’s #1 fan and president of the unofficial jungkook+y/n fanclub

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Your Kidge married hc were so cute! I will wait for part 2!!!!!

Hopefully a Part 2.1 will suffice for now! I ended up talking about their first baby a lot more than I intended, so I’m going to break this down by each child and then do a post where I focus primarily on the whole family dynamic!

Forewarning that there will be some mentions of Allurance in all these parts, but I’m not tagging it because they aren’t given any real focus. Additionally, since I know some of thisstuff can squick some people out, warning that there will be somewhat-detailedtalk about pregnancy, birth, and what exactly comes in the early stages with anewborn so please be wary if such things make you uncomfortable.

The First Baby

They talk a lot about children before they end upconceiving; specifically in the later years of their dating and throughouttheir engagement. Despite neither one of them being very social people, familyis undoubtedly a huge thing for both of them. Pidge’s family – the Holts – meana lot to her and she likes the idea of having a few kids of her own someday.For Keith, the idea of having a family unit comprised of his own actual kin –since all he’s got left is Krolia and maybe Nana Eve too idk

Pidge doesn’t actually get morning sickness with their firstbaby. She also doesn’t realize that she missed her periods because she was toofocused on her work, and actually finds out at one of her regular check-ups.

She’s about eleven weeks along at the time, with her duedate being placed in the mid-to-late October range, and is thrown for a completeloop. Not a bad loop, just a Holy-Shit-I-Wasn’t-Expecting-This-Today kind ofloop.

She actually calls Keith to tell him after she’s done withthe rest of her appointment.

“Hey, Keith.”

“Hey Pidge. How’d the doctor visit go?”

“Well, uh… I got some interestingnews…”

“Oh yeah?”

“I might… Kinda… Sorta… Be a little bit pregnant…?”

“…”

“…”

“… Uh… How can you be kindaa little bit pregnant?”

While Pidge heads home, Keith mulls over the news andrealizes that Pidge is pregnant with ababy and she’s gonna give birth to ababy and they’re gonna be parents toa baby and they’re gonna have a start to a little family with a baby anD HOLY CROW A BABY!!!

The minute Pidge walks in the door he scoops her up and justkisses her and she’s absolutely confused for a tick. But then she sees how he’sgrinning at her and how big his eyes are and she realizes that they’re wateringjust a bit and she catches on. She nuzzles up into him and cuddles him and theyjust kinda stay there swaddled together for a long time and bask in theirexcitement.

They decide to tell everyone all together at a bigget-together two weeks from when they find out. They get together with theirfamilies and the other Paladins at least once a month to catch up and shoot theshit.

They both have to try really hard to keep it to themselvesthroughout dinner until finally, after they eat, they chime in that they havean announcement to share.

Pidge is the one who actually comes right out and says thatshe’s pregnant, with Keith preening right beside her.

Colleen is immediately in excited tears and darts over tohug them both, tickled pink at having a grandbaby to dote on. Samuel gets alittle misty-eyed himself and hugs each of them in turn, kissing Pidge’s foreheadand giving Keith’s back a good and hearty pat respectively. Coran also flies into hysterical, excited tears.

Matt gives Keith a playful punch in the shoulder and makes ajoke about not congratulating the guy on getting laid with his little sister.Pidge rolls her eyes and tells Matt he’s just jealous she gets it more than hedoes.

Lance and Allura both offer their excited congratulations,admitting that they’ve been trying for a baby of their own and will hopefullybe joining them soon.

Hunk gets a little weepy and promises to help them with anypainting, building, etc. they need to do in preparation.

Krolia slips away when everyone’s distracted without a word.Keith is pretty upset about it, since he was hoping his mom would be excited tobe a grandma, but he lets it go and instead focuses on being happy with theothers.

Keith is very emotional about being a Dad™ and it makesPidge emotional about having a Family™. They feed off of one another’sFeelings™ completely.

In regards to changes to the diet and schedule, Pidgestruggles with lowering her caffeine intake and making sure she gets her sleepschedule under control.

Pidge has been dependent on caffeine since she was like15/16, okay? How else do you think she got through early morning Garrison classesand late-night Garrison hackings?

Keith sees how hard it is for her, so he starts finding waysto help her out with it. Specifically, he finds out how to make fruit smoothiesfor her to substitute her morning cup of coffee.

In regards to her sleep schedule, Pidge mostly adjusts to anormal sleep schedule because her staying up late starts to stress Keith out alittle it and she doesn’t like that. Plus, once she gets further along in thepregnancy, she feels tired more often and sleeps more simply because she alwaysfeels tired.

With them going to bed around the same time, they cuddle alot more. Once Pidge starts showing more and the baby starts moving, Keithloves sleeping with one hand on her belly so he can feel them moving. Somenights, when the baby gets really restless, it sometimes seems like Keithgently rubbing where they most recently kicked seems to help soothe them, too,so Pidge is absolutely fine with it.

Keith makes sure to attend every doctor’s appointment with Pidge,to see how she and the baby are both doing. When they reach the point they canfind out the gender, they decide to go for it since they’d been struggling withnames and maybe having a gender will help.

They are happily informed that they are expecting a littlegirl! They’re both absolutely thrilled by the news, and picking names becomes abit more streamlined.

They also get a hospital bag ready once Pidge is about amonth out from her due date. Inside are some spare clothes for Pidge, as well asthe onesie they decided to they wanted to bring the baby home in. It’s darkblue with stars and comets all over it, and a little flying saucer on the frontthat says “Outta This World!” They pick this for obvious reasons, I think.

Pidge starts feeling a little weird late into the evening onOctober 29th, but she passes it off as just being exhausted. Sheends up waking up at nearly eleven, though, and gets up to use the bathroom. Keithnotices she got up and lays there, waiting for her to come back to bed, dozingin and out of it.

“K-Keith, are you awake?”

“… Hm! Y-Yeah, I’m up! What’s up?”

“I… I’m pretty sure it’s time…”

“W-What?” *flails uselessly and topples over the side of thebed*

“I’m pretty sure my water just broke… And that these crampsaren’t just cramps…”

“Okay, we got this! We’ve prepared for this!”

Keith gets Pidge the cheap slippers she bought, just forthis situation, and helps her get to the car. He makes sure to grab thehospital bag and rushes them there. Once they arrive at the hospital, Keithsends out a mass text to everyone letting them know that Pidge is in thehospital and the baby will be born soon.

It takes about seven hours of agonizing labor, and by theend of it Keith has lost all feeling in his left hand, but at 6:48 A.M. on October30th, Keith and Pidge become the proud parents of Amber Rose Kogane!

Keith playfully refers to her the best late birthday gift he has ever received.

Amber ends up having Pidge’s eyes, which is where her firstname comes from, while they select Rose as her middle name because Keith wasonce the Red Paladin, and being Paladins was what brought the couple together.Other than that, she ends up with dark hair like Keith as well as his palecomplexion, but gets Pidge’s button nose.

Everyone gives Keith and Pidge a little time to relax andsleep before they start cropping up to visit and meet the darling little girl.In that time, Pidge gets taught how to properly breast feed, as well as bothshe and Keith being shown how to change a diaper properly, specifically asconcerns involving yeast infections are a higher risk to newborn baby girls ifthey aren’t kept clean or wiped thoroughly. They also manage to sneak in a fewhours of sleep.

Colleen and Samuel are the first two to come by, with anextra little gift. Colleen went ahead and knitted a little peach colored baby blanketfor Amber, which has Pidge watery-eyed and Keith beaming. Matt shows up not toolong after that and, being a good big brother, comes bearing snacks and sodasfor the groggy new parents. Allura, Lance, and Coran are the three to show upnext, followed closely by Hunk and then Shiro.

The hospital normally doesn’t let this many people in to oneroom to visit a newborn baby and mother, but Universe-Saving-Paladins-of-Voltron and allthat can get you some nifty little exceptions.

Everyone gets a turn to hold Amber and coo at her, thoughadmittedly Colleen and Lance tend to hog her the most. Lance tries to excuse itas simply being a matter of needing to know how to hold a baby for when he hasone of his own. Keith calls bullshit.

Pidge and Amber only have to spend one whole night in thehospital to be monitored and then they can go home. When the little family ofthree pulls up, they’re surprised to see what is clearly a Blade cruiser parkedin the front yard. Krolia is leaning against the cruiser, fiddling with asmall, long box in her hands. Pidge side-eyes Keith before indicating he gotalk to his mother while she gets Amber out of the car. Krolia perks up whileKeith approaches her.

“Uh… Hi, Mom… It’s been… A while…”

“Yes, I do apologize for that. I had to take care of somethingimportant.”

“Didn’t even stick around long enough to let us know how youfelt about having a grandkid, in fact.” *Said with only a little bit of malice.*

“Well, it was a legitimate reason. I came here to being youthe gift I got for the baby.” *Said with only a lot of defensiveness*

Pidge approaches them with Amber’s little car seat slungover one of her arms and Krolia immediately melts, looking at the dozing infantinside. They all head inside and Pidge passes Amber to Krolia once they getsettled. While she quietly cooes over her granddaughter and aks Pidge aboutthis or that about the newborn, Keith opens the little box she brought.

Inside is a brand new bonafided luxite blade.

Turns out Krolia had gone searching to find some more of themineral and then, upon retrieving some, gone looking for a blacksmith thatcould properly sculpt it into a working blade.

Keith is simultaneously touched and exasperated by the gift.Like, Krolia could have at least stayed a little longer to bask in the glow ofthe news and then gone off. Then again, he knows that she still sometimesstruggles with the whole Being-Responsible-And-Involved-With-A-Family Thing.

She vows to come by and visit as often as she can. She also reveals she has about seven or eight more luxite blades in her cruiser for anyother kids they have. Keith is a little less endeared and a little moreexasperated by this.

“But why did you getso many?”

“I wasn’t sure how many offspring a human has at once! My brotherUdurat was mated to a Patuvian and they can produce as many as five to nineoffspring at one time!”

“…”

“…”

“I have an uncle namedUdurat?”

Anyway, back to the matter at hand! Amber and her parents!

Babies are typically pretty dull for the first six-sevenweeks since they haven’t started figuring out expressions or noises or anythinglike that. It’s mostly just a grace period for parents to try and figure outwhat they’re doing before their baby becomes more like an actual little person.

Once she starts figuring things out, Amber is a veryexpressive and happy little thing. For the longest time, she doesn’t know howto laugh, so instead she just kinda wears a big grin and shrieks for all she’sworth instead. Pidge and Keith find this simultaneously adorable and hilarious.

*Keith comes home from work* “I’m home.”

*Amber’s eyes get wide and her mouth gapes wide in a bigtoothless grin and starts panting and bouncing in her seat*

“Who is that, Amber? Is that your Daddy?” *Pidge, alreadystarting to snort in anticipation*

“AaaahhhhHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAHHHhhhahhhhh!”

“Happy to see you, too, baby girl.”

Keith still goes on his morning runs, but he invests in alittle baby sling and takes Amber with him. He makes sure that she’s beenrecently nursed before he does – which isn’t hard, since Amber is an earlyriser like her Daddy – so that Pidge can get some more sleep while he gets tohave some Daddy-Baby time with her. He even buys Amber her own little babyvisor so the sun doesn’t get in her eyes.

Pidge gets the first genuine smile from Amber, but Keithgets the first laugh.

Amber struggles to figure out how to crawl. Like, she worksout how to roll herself on to her tummy, but she just doesn’t know what to dowith her arms. So she’ll just lay there on the ground, little butt in the air,staring at wherever she wants to go to like thatwill make her move. Again, Keith and Pidge are absolutely floored by theridiculous cuteness of their child.

She takes her first steps from Keith to Pidge while they’resitting on her little playmate with her in her room. They weren’t actuallyworking on her walking, either; she’d gotten good at standing at that point, sothey were just having her stand while they got her dressed to go to a familyget together. Pidge had been looking for the shoes that went with the littledress they picked, and Amber decided that she wanted to help look, apparently,and bam! She’s waddling her way across the floor to her Mommy.

Her first word is shouted in a way that Keith and Pidge findhilariously aggressive for such a tiny thing as her.

*Keith in the other room* “Hey, Pidge, did you finishgetting the grocery list together?”

“Uh, not yet.” *Trying to get Amber to take a little tether toy*“Aw, come one, sweetie. This is nice and cold! It’ll help with those achy littlegums!”

*Pokes his head around the corner* “Still refusing hertethers?”

“Oh, absolutely. She’s just so ridiculously stubborn.”*Small huff.*

*Amber is shoving the toy away with sharp barks of protest*

“Gee, I wonder where she gets that from…” *A small,sarcastic laugh.

“DADA!” *Shoutedwith every fiber of feeling in her tiny body and paired with a dramatic turn ofher head to look at him*

*Cue Mommy and Daddy McFreakin’ Losin’ It.*

This is all for this part for now, but I promise to have thenext part with Baby #2 out as soon as I can! x3

[blurrybowers]

secret notes || patrick hockstetter

I combined these 2 requests:

request : “Hey can you do an imagine of where y/n finds a secret admirer note in her locker and after a couple weeks has a plan and wants to see who’s putting them on her locker, and sees Patrick putting them there. Then one day after the bell she goes to her locker and sees Patrick putting another note in and then he panics and runs out on y/n and she runs after him and they admit they love each other.”

“Could you do a patrick one where the reader hears him screaming in the sewers and saves his punk ass from pennywise but pat runs away from her cause he’s embarrassed but sneaks into her room that night ? ”

OK THIS IMAGINE HAS TAKEN ME A OVER A WEEK TO WRITE…YALL better love the fuck out of it. There is also a few time skips but you’ll get what’s going on!  This is my longest imagine so far.

word count: 2000+

•••

Annoyed and exhausted, I unlocked my locker, shoving my books into the small, slender space.  The day had finally come to a close, after what felt like days. I didn’t have any homework so after throwing the books from today in there I was satisfied. I went to pull out my army green jacket and as I did a blue sticky note slid down my locker and daintily landed on the floor in front of me. Quirking an eyebrow, I kneeled down and lifted it off the ground, it read in messy lowercase letters:

you look really pretty when you wear blue, it’s my favorite color on you.

I was at a loss who could’ve wrote me the short note. Glancing down the hall for any possible admirers, I was only met with the eyes of the creepy, old janitor from Michigan. He looked at me and sent a daunting wave in which I widened my eyes and looked away from his perverted self. It was a boy’s handwriting, messy and rushed.

•••

Days went by, weeks even and those notes always ended up in my locker. They complimented me or told me to cheer up when I was feeling sad but they never had a name signed with them. I could only imagine who it could be, maybe Ben? He was always really shy around me but I knew he could write well. Or how about Eddie? He always got really nervous when he was talking to me. I was determined to find out who was leaving me the secret notes. I needed a plan. Pondering on what could be a clever idea, a flawless plan came into my mind.

Get there before the note does. I glanced at my watch, 7:43 a.m. , no one was at school yet, except a few teachers and some students who came for extra help. The note had always been in my locker by 2:30, never earlier. Today, I was going to find out who was leaving me the secret notes.

•••

I waited behind the corner, having a clear view of my locker. It was 2:28 and I knew whoever my secret admirer was, would be in view soon. As I started to fidget, nervously playing with the strings on my skirt, I heard shuffling in the hallway. I peaked out from behind the corner I was standing in, to see Patrick Hockstetter. He was playing with his lighter. It wasn’t a shocker he wasn’t in class, he skipped like it was his job. I rolled my eyes, considering he was too much of a toolbag to even attempt to learn. Thinking he was going to walk down the hallway, my eyebrows knitted in confusion as he stopped in front of my locker. He looked both ways down the hallway, seeing if anyone was around. I gasped and ducked, hoping he didn’t see me.

Waiting a few seconds, I peered again, still hidden. There he was, folding up a blue sticky note and shoving it through the vent of my locker. Shocked was an understatement… I was at a loss for words. I decided to call him out on his rather romantic actions.

“Patrick?” I questioned, coming into the view of the lanky boy. His eyes widened and he tried to look like he was just leaning against my locker, not putting something in it.

“Uh hi? What are you doing talking to me? Fuck out of here loser, before I kick the shit out of you.” He threatened, trying to sound intimidating but I could see his hands twitching and his leg shaking. He was nervous, nervous I saw him.

“You’re the one who’s been putting notes in my locker!” I exclaimed, calling him out. His pale face quickly turned bright red and he blinked a few times. Patrick quickly caught his composure and coughed a shaky laugh.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talkin’ b-bout. N-Notes?” Patrick tried to sound confident but he failed. He sounded like Bill Denbrough. I glanced at him wiping his palms on his jeans, this kid was shitting himself, and I was loving every second of it.

“Oh please Patrick give it up. I just saw you.” I called him out on his bluff. He quickly looked around, making sure no one heard our conversation. He was so embarrassed, something I thought he wasn’t capable of being.

“Y/n, you’re a psycho and you’re seeing things. I’m outta here you weirdo.” He spat looking me up and down and making a grossed out face. I frowned and looked and my outfit, what was wrong with it? I wore a black denim skirt and a baby blue tank top.

“Why’d you just give me a dirty look? What’d I ever do to you!?” I screamed as he shook his head in disapproval running out of the school. Running away from the conversation we were in the middle of. I knew his ways, he was an asshole and a manipulative bully. But the notes he wrote me made me second guess my opinion of him. Multiple students rolled into the halls, shuffling to class before the first bell rang. I sighed, knowing I had to go to English class, a class I had with all his friends. Before walking to my first period, I glanced out the glass doors and saw Patrick glumly walking into the woods, far away from school.

•••

Finally the school day had drawn to a close. I finished chatting with my friend Mike before quickly saying bye, knowing I had to go home and get started on my unreal amount of homework.

The fastest way home was cutting through the Barrens, it wasn’t usually sketchy but what started as a sunny, warm day turned into a cold, cloudy one. I shivered slightly due to my lack of a jacket and felt the goosebumps graze my arms. As I neared the barrens, I navigated my way through the woods, passing the tunnel but not without hearing a blood curdling scream. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Any normal person would’ve ran, got the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. But me, being a sucker for anything with a little danger, decided to follow the pinpoint of the noise. The terrifying sounds were coming from inside the…sewers? Weird. As I neared the entrance, I hesitated, but decided to suck up the rancid smell of the grey water and began trudging to the source of the petrifying noise. I grabbed a stray metal pipe that was laying around, just in case I had to defend myself against what was lurking around the sewers.

The sound was getting louder and louder. I turned down a pathway and saw IT. There was Patrick Hockstetter, gasping for air with a large gloved hand wrapped around his neck. It was dim in the sewers but I could see a monstrous clown with a daunting smirk on his face. He was tall and had an egg shaped head? This thing was fucking hideous. Patrick’s eyes widened when he saw me. He sent me a pleading look.

The clown hadn’t seen me yet but I knew I had to do something quick, before we were both killed. I was super scared but I decided knocking it out would be the best option. I quietly snuck behind it, and like I was swinging a baseball bat, swung at It’s head. The clown winced in pain before falling face first into the grey water.

“Quick, we need to get out of here.” I instructed  to Patrick as we both ran out of the sewers. When we were finally safe, far from the sewers, we stopped for a minute to catch our breathe. I glanced at Patrick who looked unfazed by the whole situation, meanwhile I was still trying to comprehend what was happening.

“What were you doing near the sewers?” He spoke, breaking the silence between us.

“Why were you in the sewers? I was walking home and heard a screaming and I ended up saving your ass.” I spat with an attitude, I still hadn’t received a ‘thank you’ from him.

“I would’ve gotten out of there fine. I didn’t need your help Y/n. Since when have you thought it was okay for you to talk to me? We aren’t friends, get that through your fuckin’ head.” He remarked, gritting his teeth as he spoke and I frowned. He wasn’t ugly but his personality made him ugly. I never had put any thought into having feelings for him just because he wasn’t the type to have feelings, for anything.

He expected an answer from me but I didn’t supply him with one. I stood there with a blank expression and decided it was best not to snap at him, knowing what he was capable of. He let out a chuckle and just turned around the other way and began walking, away from me and away from our conversation.

•••

10:29 p.m.

Slamming my textbook shut, I released a sigh of relief, knowing I finally had finished my homework. Today’s incidents clearly had an effect on me since I was extremely exhausted. I jumped into my bed and wrapped myself in blankets. I closed my eyes, turning off the lights in my room until I heard a knocking on my window. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, slightly scared of what or who was out there. I grabbed my skateboard out of the corner of my room, ready to hit whatever was trying to come in. I opened the curtain to see Patrick crouching down on my roof with a smirk. Rolling my eyes, I unlocked the window and watched him climb in effortlessly.

“What Hockstetter? What do you want at this hour?” I interrogated, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I wanted to say thank you.” He mumbled. Thank you? I didn’t even know the words could come out of his mouth.

“Well you’re welcome. I wasn’t gonna let you die in there.” I replied, shocked that he was being nice, for once. He looked nervous but still tried to keep his composure.

“I gotta tell you somethin’.” Patrick muttered, looking like he was about to tell me he killed my cat or vandalized my mailbox. I nodded, implying for him to continue.

“Um, I-I am the one who’s been leaving the notes in your locker.” He mumbled, clearly embarrassed of his actions. I smiled.

“I knew it was you! Why are you embarrassed? They’re so sweet.” I exclaimed in a whisper, knowing my parents were downstairs.

“Because I don’t do well with rejection and why would you appreciate them if you knew they were from me?” He questioned, interested in the conversation.

“I think they’re so cute and I wanted to say thank you for them. They really make my day everyday.” I complimented with a soft smile and he just rolled his eyes, clearly he doesn’t deal with stuff like this often.

“So…” He began not knowing how to change the topic but I shushed him.

“We’re not done with this conversation. Why’d you write those for me?” I asked, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to sit next to me on my bed.

“Cause you’re hot.” He frankly said. His words told me otherwise, saying how my smile could light up a room but I decided not to call him out on his sappy shit.

“Thank you. I think you’re kinda cute too.” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up. Calling Patrick Hockstetter cute was the last thing I expected to be saying.

“So um do you wanna be my girlfriend?” He asked and my eyes widened. This was the last fucking kid that would have a girlfriend, Henry would have one before he did.

“I’ll think about it.” I winked before pushing him towards my window. He got up off my bed and sent me an eye roll before climbing out my window.

I would probably date him, even if he was a little bit of an asshole. As I shut the window I saw he had left me a note behind stuck to the top.

goodnight, girlfriend.

That night, I slept thinking about how Patrick and how someone who was so rough on the outside was super soft on the inside.

———

My requests are open, I’m gonna try to do ones with plots that aren’t basic, I want to write ones with an unexpected or unique plot, just to make mine more interesting because sometimes I feel like they are slacking.  xoxo

[sigmastolen]

dsc 1.14 “the war without, the war within”

omg you guys i finished my storytime planning before midnight!!!  to celebrate, instead of doing my due-diligence listening homework for a rehearsal tomorrow night that i haven’t had the chance to read the music for yet, imma knock out some quick words on dsc because i feel like i’m not really caught up until i’ve done the commentary post ://///

also holy shit i can’t believe the next one is the season finale

so, uh, spoilers and probably vagueness and incoherence after the jump :D :D :D

that was one hellish exposition drop.  overall i do feel like the writing for this ep is good, but man, those first five minutes are rough

also it feels like saru is reporting to burnham and i appreciate it as character interaction, that she has risen in his esteem once more, and that in times of stress and because of the presence of mirror!georgiou, they revert to the roles they held on the shenzhou... but as a scene of television it wasn’t great to watch

cornwell :c :c :c

her shooting the goddamn fortune cookies was funny (if unsafe), but i feel for her

but also burnham’s face and saru’s hands in the reaction shot, oh my god, i died.  that’s exactly what i do when people around me are fighting or having outbursts.

stamets :c :c :c :c

i have conflicted Feelings about the crew rallying around tyler

i’m glad for him but i’m sad/resentful that it couldn’t be this easy for burnham, but i also understand that they can only be this way for tyler because burnham already won them over the hard way (see: detmer*), but i also am Not Okay that there aren’t more consequences for culber’s murder

but there’s also something i’m trying to tease out about all the parallels with burnham’s journey that is blowing my mind.  the episode addresses tyler’s parallel journey explicitly, but there are also echoes in l’rell’s story, and mirror!georgiou’s

i can’t remember the correct vocabulary for this.  recursion?  i want to say thematic recursion, and i can’t remember if i learned this in a lit class, a music class, or from a tumblr post oops

cornwell vs. l’rell, round 2, wasn’t everything i dreamed but it was still pretty good.  jayne and mary just work so well together

cornwell vs. mirror!georgiou left me wanting more, in terms of complex interaction and just onscreen interaction, period.  but then, cornwell probably knew prime!georgiou at least in passing, since she was so highly decorated and respected, so i can also understand cornwell not wanting to have much interaction with mirror!georgiou

burnham :c :c :c :c :c

just everything with burnham, really.  the whole situation with mirror!georgiou, and the heavy goodbye with sarek, and the tense conversation with tilly who is supposed to be her best friend and on her side, and, obviously, the whole situation with tyler.

all i want is for burnham to have a nice day with no devastating emotional crises.  i want burnham to get a chance for some self-care.  i want her to put her feet up and read a book and maybe pamper her hair and joke around with tilly.  this is what i want for burnham.

i sort of love that tyler weeps.  he is

a man

a straight man (as far as we know)

a man of color

a klingon

a starfleet officer

a security officer

and he is allowed to weep.  that matters.  a portrayal of masculinity that allows men to express their emotions through tears, and still be a tough, professional, manly character is important.

h o l y s h i t

holy shit cornwell & sarek plotting

holy shit georgiou

holy shit next week is already the finale??? i feel like there is still so much story to tell though????? how are they going to manage it in just an hour????

*there are a lot of loose threads that i sort of doubt they will wrap up in the next episode and on some level i guess that’s what s2 is for, but i really need there to be some kind of rapprochement between detmer and burnham.  it doesn’t have to be a Scene or anything -- sharing a look and a nod across the bridge would be enough, i just need something

also also, oh shit detmer is the only other crew member from the shenzhou and she has no idea that’s not prime!georgiou miraculously back from the dead D: D:

after trek

can justin simien stay forever?

i cannot speculate on how doug jones picked up the habit of talking like a drag queen, but i love that he does

doug jones for drag race guest judge 2k18

i do feel like i read saru at the end of 1.05 very differently from doug jones and that is Interesting

holy shit that teaser

what was i saying about mirrorverse captains deliberately sowing  discord and keeping their crew from forming alliances

saru D: D: D:

perhaps i’m being premature, but i think overall this season was kind of overstuffed -- i feel like a lot of things that should have been major issues were resolved too quickly and easily, and i think it’s because dsc tried to do too much in too few episodes.  and i do respect that the (mirror!)lorca story had to take place within a single season, not for reasons inherent to the story but because you’d irrevocably alienate the audience if they had more than one season to get attached to him... but it’s also really tough because there’s so much other storytelling work you have to do in a first season, and this story in particular had a lot of dominoes to set up so we could knock them down.  26-episode seasons were a thing of the past even before ent ended, but 20 or 22 episodes would have given this story a lot more room to breathe and explore things like tardigrade ethics, landry, mirror!stamets, and voq!tyler & l’rell.  ANYWAY.  the finale is up next and we’ll see where we go from there!

[my-mystic-messenger]

Mystic Slice of Life: Ep. 2

Macaroni Make Men Smile

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Rating: General Warnings: Excessive cursing Categories: platonic/brotherly Relationships: Saeyoung/Saeran Word count: 1850

MC’s mentioned Masterlist

Saeran hadn't been to happy about the prospect of going to University. For one, he was twenty-one years old, therefore considered old to be entering just now. Everyone around him would be about three years younger. Secondly, he still didn't like people most of the time. They were loud, nosy and judgmental. Just the other day an old lady had ripped her kid away from the ice cream stand where Saeran had been ordering. His strangely coloured hair, tattoo's and piercings apparently weren't all too inviting. The RFA members accepted him - maybe a little too warmly for his liking - but Saeran was very aware that the RFA was a safe haven and the world wasn't as forgiving.

On top of everything he'd never felt passionate about anything other than serving Magenta, Mint Eye and getting revenge and possibly killing his brother. Rika was now gone to some mental institution far, far away, Mint Eye was dissolved and Saeyoung the loving brother he'd always yearned for. All his motivations had evaporated. He'd hoped for a rejection letter from the University, as Saeran had never even been to school, but due to some sort of miracle - and Saeyoung fiddling with the system - Saeran had gotten in. And not just any school, either. No, Saeyoung had gone all out, getting his brother into the same prestigious academy he'd gone to. Great...

Strangely enough, everything had been fine for the most part. The classes weren't too long, the people didn't stare nor question the younger Choi twin and the subjects weren't half boring either. By the end of the day Saeran hadn't yet made a friend, but at least he hadn't made a fool of himself either. Lucky for him though, his brother took over that task! Upon leaving the building, hood over his head, earplugs in and head bowed Saeran was greeted with the brightest, ugliest and biggest sign he'd ever seen, his brother calling his name and cheering loudly as he proudly waved it back and forth. "❤Congratulations on making it through your first day at University!❤"

Saeran stopped in his tracks, hearing his brothers shouts even with the music blasting through his earphones. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as he took in the embarrassing sight. What the fuck was he thinking?! His head snapped around, taking in the people that stopped to stare at the lunatic with the sign, muttering under their breath and laughing. Glances were thrown his way as the whispers became louder and Saeran began to sprint, practically tackling his idiotic brother as he tugged him along to the car as quickly as humanly possible. To think that Saeran had actually hoped for a single, normal day in his life...

Saeyoung protested the entire way with poster dragging along the ground. He’d expected his brother to disapprove of the extreme action that he decided to proceed with, but hadn’t been prepared for such a negative reception. He truly was proud of Saeran’s accomplishment and was secretly happy that he had not done anything rash on the first day. Knowing his temperament and lack of basic social skills he could have easily lost his focus and gotten into some sort of disagreement. “Hey, slow down! The poster that I worked so hard to make is going to be ruined!” Saeyoung pouted as he finally forced the other to stop before rolling his creation up into a neat bundle.

“Did you like your teachers?  Do you have homework already? Did you make any friends?” He prattled off as an arm fell over Saeran’s shoulders. He felt like a proud parent more than a brother but who would blame him after all they had been through? “Today is your day! I’m so proud of you.  Anything you want for dinner I will get for you!” He smiled towards anyone passing by regardless of the looks they would give to the two. Reaching in his pocket, Saeyoung pulled out a ribbon and attempted to pin it to his brother’s jacket.  The words ‘I rocked my first day of school!’ were written down the edges in a puffy glittery glue, hearts and stars pasted all over the item.

Saeran slapped his brother’s hand away the second he saw the goddamn ribbon. "What the actual fuck are you trying to do", he hissed as his brother, pulling the hood over his head once more, so at least some people wouldn't recognize him. "Are you trying to ruin my day? ‘Cause if so, I can tell you that you're doing a mighty fine job, moron." Saeran glared at his brother, mint green eyes burning with rage while his heating cheeks betrayed the shame behind it. "My day was good and peaceful until you decided to make a goddamn freak show out of it. Can't you just for once in your life act like a normal human being instead of some alien?!"

Without giving his brother a chance to reply Saeran pushed past him, purposefully knocking their shoulders, and walked towards the car. With his aggressive stride, hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie and his head bowed low the younger twin was radiating defiance. What on earth he'd done to deserve such an idiot as a brother was beyond him, but he was set on making sure that Saeyoung would never embarrass him like that again. He walked around the car to the passenger seat and opened the door, frowned at his brother over the roof. "Get your ass in the car. I wanna go home before you degrade me even further."

“B-but!” The redhead ran towards the vehicle and threw himself into the driver’s seat after stuffing the poster into the back. “You won’t even wear the ribbon? I worked on it for hours! The glue stuck all over the table.” He held it near Saeran once more, hovering it the air instead of going straight for his chest. Saeran didn’t even bother replying, merely huffing angrily at his brother. Saeyoung’s arm lowered in defeat upon realizing his brother wouldn’t have anything to do with his attempts. “I’m not trying to degrade you, I’m just really proud that you got through the day”, he said, getting nothing in response again. Saeyoung was aware that his twin never gave into his ridiculous antics but he always hoped that one day he would give him the time of day.

“What would you like to eat? I still stand by my statement that you can have whatever you want!” He did his best to lighten the situation even if he felt the extreme disdain from the passenger seat. The hope that Saeran would pick something that would keep them away from the apartment for an extended period of time was ideal. If he reacted this poorly to the poster, Saeran wouldn’t be happy about what was waiting at home. “How about a nice restaurant? We haven’t had a proper meal in a while!” He turned his head and grinned. “How about we stop somewhere to buy you a present as well? I think buying you some new clothes for school would be a great idea!”

Saeran, who'd leaned his head against the window, turned to give his brother a murderous look, a literal growl falling past his lips. He liked his clothes the way they were, liked the black and the red. When he'd first gotten to live with Saeyoung his entire wardrobe had remained at Mint Eye. Instead he'd been forced to wear some of his brothers clothing from a couple of years back, since Saeran was quite a bit slimmer than his older twin. Not only were the clothes extremely ugly, they'd also been uncomfortable. He'd looked like an idiot for weeks until someone had finally taken mercy and gone to pick up his actual clothes from the castle in the mountains.

"I ate at the cafeteria", he replied, not humoring Saeyoungs idea of a shopping trip together whatsoever. "Just get me to your place so I can crawl back into that windowless shithole you call your home, lock the door to my room and not have to see you or your ridiculous macaroni art type projects for the rest of the day. Thanks to your idiotic antics I will be the laughing stock of the entire school come morning. I'm your twin brother, Saeyoung. Not your goddamn son taking his first shit. I don't need a medal for every time I survive a day and I most certainly don't want you cheerleading my life! Understood?"

“Be glad you aren’t my son, because the first thing I’d do is wash out that potty mouth with soap!” Saeyoung gripped the steering wheel tightly not necessarily out of frustration from his brother’s attitude but from the anxiety of how he would react to the surprise waiting for him. He parked in the garage and ran around the other side of the car to open the door for Saeran. “Now listen; I just want you to keep in mind that one day you will appreciate the time and love I put into everything I do for you.”  Instead of letting his brother walk at his own leisure he grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. Taking a deep breath, he smiled as he presented the living room. “Surprise!”

The entire apartment was covered in poster board. Hand painted messages reading ‘Congratulations!’, ‘You’re Number One!’, ‘I Believe In You!’, and ‘World’s Best Brother!’. An excessive number of balloons floated around the air with images of cartoons or other words of encouragement. Saeyoung laughed nervously as he waited for the eruption explaining, “I worked all day on this!” His expression fell, though, as he also remembered the mess he had made in Saeran’s room. Macaroni art, indeed. His brother would probably find pieces of the noodles in every nook for a few months. “I may have gone overboard. I’m sorry for…your room…”

707:

Madeleine: Oh no... ZEN: Let me guess: he hated it? Jumin: I did warn him not to do it. Yoosung★: But Saeyoung tried his best! I totally helped with the glitter Jaehee: What's going on, Saeyoung? 707: He isn’t too happy ;; He’s threatening to cook all the macaroni in his room, glue paint and all, and make me eat it. ;;

Saeran has entered the chatroom

Macy: Oh oh... Saeran: Listen up, dickheads! Whoever helped, whoever bought a single fucking macaroni, glue gun, snippet of glitter or piece of paper or whoever so much as knew about this and didn't try to fucking stop him better sleep with an eye open because I'm coming for all of you !

Yoosung★ has left the chatroom ZEN has left the chatroom Macy has left the chatroom Madeleine has left the chatroom Jaehee has left the chatroom Jumin has left the chatroom

Saeran: YOUUUUUUUUUU

707: Saeran~!

Congratulations on your first successful day at school!

Saeran: I'll stuff all that fucking glitter down your throat until you fart it for another month you son of a bitch!

Saeran has left the chatroom

707: Does that mean he liked it...?

[everything-is-broken-here]

hahahahahaha honestly fucking loving life right now, hey. got 4 hours of sleep last night then had uni all day, had to put up with the criticism of the horrible person in our group presentation. had 5 hours of sleep the night before and also got into an argument with my best friend. as if i wasn’t already emotionally unstable enough and hadn’t been having enough emotional breakdowns over the past 2 weeks, i just got my period today and to say pretty much everything is pissing me off is an understatement. i’m literally not close enough with any of my university friends to offload all of my shitty problems onto them yet because i’ve only known them for 4 weeks. i’m drowning in assignments, i’ve got my group presentation due next week and out of 5 group members, only myself and 2 other people have actually put in the effort so half of our assignment is utter shit and the other half is really good, but we are all going to get marked down because of the other peoples shitty work and anyway we look at it it’s not fair. if we do the work for them they will get a good mark for doing the bare minimum and if we don’t do the work for them we get a bad mark for not having an assignment that meets the standards. also i have my stupid arts class tomorrow and i swear to god if i have to stand in front of a class 1 more fucking time and dance or make up some improvisational bullshit i’m actually going to scream. but now that i think of it we are choosing our groups for our drama assignment which is a motherfucking dance performance that we need to perform in front of the whole class, so tomorrow is going to be complete shit. literally everything is making me want to cry and i’m so frustrated and there is so much going on that i’m so so so overwhelmed holy shit like i am actually in the midst of a full scale emotional breakdown right now and i have so much built up inside of me right now. honestly, i would love to just take tomorrow off but if i do then i won’t even get the chance to pick my own group for our stupid performance so i can’t really afford to miss it otherwise i’m going to get a really bad group. fuck, i haven’t had this negative of an attitude for such a long time, like i’m honestly struggling to find any positives and i’m trying to look on the bright side but there is nothing right now, even the weather is pouring with rain and gloomy and i just feel desperate and hopeless. also probably the least important thing happening right now is that i’m just getting super frustrated and pissed off with how petty my best friend is being. i had fair enough reasons for being annoyed at her. it’s just really frustrating me because we had a 250 day snapstreak and even though i’m pissed off, i still have been sending her blank snapchats to keep our streak going and she’s just not replying to any of them and we are about to lose our snapstreak. it would be different if she hadn’t been opening them but i can literally see she’s been opening my snaps so it just means she’s ignoring me and the last time she opened my snap the little hourglass was there so she knows we are about to lose our snapstreak and she’s being so petty that she can’t even send back a blank snap because i’ve invested a lot of time into our snapstreak and i’ll be really annoyed if we lose it just because she’s being like this. but it definitely proves my theory of having nobody that actually cares about me, because she literally couldn’t care less then we had an argument or that we aren’t talking because she still has her boyfriend and people she cares about far more than me, so i’m just getting even more frustrated the longer it goes on but at this point she’s being so petty that i am being too stubborn to message her first (plus i’m still really annoyed). honestly, since i’ve started university, our friendship has changed and i’ve been feeling for weeks like she has just replaced me and doesn’t care and now all of this just kind of confirms that (part of the reason why i got frustrated with her in the first place is that i felt like she was replacing me and then we were hanging out together the other day and something happened and her first instinct was to call her family and literally talk about what was going on on the tv. like i get that it was to calm her down but i was in the exact same situation and i was sitting right next to her and i just wasn’t good enough. literally even when we were in a bad situation together i wasn’t the even a consideration for someone that she could talk it through with and instead, i was the one that ended up being alone because of it. we were in a situation where neither of us had to feel alone and she managed to make me feel that way).  honestly i’m just feeling so helpless about everything. at the moment it just feels like life is requiring way more energy that i currently have to give and i’ve noticed that i keep joking about dying but i’m not even sure i’m joking anymore because i genuinely don’t think it would be the worst thing if something happened. to be honest i barely even check anymore when i’m driving anymore, the only times i make myself check is when i realise that i don’t want to be that asshole who hurts someone else just because i don’t care if something bad happens to me. i just don’t know what to do, the rational part of me knows that it won’t be this way forever but the less rational part of myself knows that my degree is 4 years long and i’m barely a month in, like i just don’t know if it’s going to get better for the next 4 years, what if i’m feeling this way until i’m finished my degree? i just need a break from everything it’s fucking killing me. there is so much frustration built up from everything that it genuinely is getting back to the point where i keep thinking about self harming and i’ve managed not to for years but i feel like if things keep going i’m going to start again. thankfully i’ve been asked to do some house sitting in about 3 weeks time and since i have no boyfriend or no relationship i am planning on just staying there the entire 4 days and not going home for anything, turning off my phone and just having space to myself without anybody around me so that i can catch up on study and catch up on sleep. i think i just need a time out from everything so maybe it will be a good chance to finally clear my head because i’m a fucking mess right now

[queenchrysalisrps]

[ooc] Ranting

That shit’s below the read more because I am a fucked up individual who is maybe a little bit tipsy and tired and depressed simultaneously.

my life’s shit, i’m stupidly jealous, and nobody cares, a rantpost. read more if you want i fucking guess you already clicked the link at this point and it’s all about me being a whiny bitch who nobody cares about

positive: ordered herbal testosterone blockers and estrogen boosters because the training we were supposed to get navy-wide on transitioning in the military had a due date of January 31st and it’s now almost a month later and we haven’t gotten it

here’s hoping i don’t get in trouble for that haha (spoilers: at this point I DON’T give a SHIT because if I didn’t start this then I’d probably fall even further down the apathy barrier and fail out of the nuclear programme, which is the only reason I’d like to be in the military at this point aside from staying away from moving back home)

trump is a shit as fuck president, rapist, dumbass, rascist, misogynist, transphobic, and basically using the american flag as toilet paper with his in-office state

there’s a handful of people I have mutual care for/about: -Lara’s my go to most days, best princess -Button’s a cute switch, but if I vanished I doubt she’d realize it -Amburro’s around sporadically these days -Chel has her own problems -i’m not sure how I feel about paul but he’s kind of precious -Audjob plays with other people a lot, acknowledges my existence but that comes close to -it- -and lauralai just came out from the abyss, went “i really like you and spending time with you, you’re kind of awesome” only to kind of do her own thing with other people instead

i’m quiet as fuck, nobody notices me, the only thing i’m particularly good at aside from being smart at this point is lying through my teeth unless i’m not serious about it at all

i’ve been trying to get a car for about a month and it’s finally about to happen con: another 6,000$ loan, around 200$/mo even through usaa for insurance

i’m moving into a co-worker’s apartment to set up a better way of getting to work since i have a habit of sleeping 4 hours a night during the work week; also 12 hour workdays of rotating shiftwork are literally satan

i feel unwanted by basically everybody, the people who aren’t straight-up apathetic prioritize other people way before they even think about me, i’m like a footnote cute girl

i never got below a 3.0 on a test before i joined the navy, now at least i know what it takes to be a genius (answer: complete social ineptitude)

i prioritize dumb shit, my life’s a mess, the navy is garbage, and the best thing that’s happened at all in my life so far is meeting a cute canadian girl

i went from public school in 5th grade to christian school the next, then back to public for 12th, then into the navy instead of staying home and going to college because i couldn’t take my parents at that point: which led to, because of the church’s doctrine, self-isolation as well as social isolation (aka different schools) from my gradeschool friends, who were awesome.

I miss Jennette, Molly, Aislinn, Maegan, Fernando, Miles, Langston, and the friends-of-friends situations I got into with them because those friends of friends were also fan fucking tastic. I miss the friends I made in 12th grade too, which basically includes the whole goddamn class because the school was bigger than the situation of “haha i’m the only one in the high school (11th grade)” by a margin of 40-50, + everyone was so great and it felt wonderful after transitioning from christian school to be around sane people again

nothing against christians, but sports and bible aren’t the only things that exist and if those are your main focuses in life you end up prty goddamn dumb and sheltered and overall a shitty human being from my experience

i’ve never cut myself but I sure have held objects that could close to my skin and thought about it

but then again

that’s probably why i’m completely starved for attention

sic: quiet; add: nerdy, kinky

i’m glad to be one person’s priority

i’m glad to feel wanted, at least in that respect

and it’s not like i outright burned bridges, i just let them fall apart

is that 6 year period to mean nothing in my life?

the things I learned since: transgender was what defined the odd feelings i had had for many more, following a religion is a lazy excuse for not trying to think about things too much (aka if the christian god were real i’d side with satan because that dude’s insane), i’d really like to write things but given success rates of authors it’s probably best to have a safety net, drugs will get you high, i am not a lightweight in terms of alcohol but 151 is some GOOD SHIT, i’m not emotionally dead but i have enough walls that the inside of my head is probably a hedge maze

if i do get discharged early, i’m just going to hit up my dad’s work through him and renovate my parent’s basement if they actually accept my “deviant” behavior.

if i don’t, then I’ll finish my 8 year contract- and yeah it’s definitely 8 years because even if electricians get the shittiest bonus that’s still 2 years for automatic advancement in rate that’s impossible to get off of just the test until you’ve got a year or so in the fleet; if I like it enough I might go reserves. regardless I’ll finish up the engineering degree and apply to civilian power plants and electrician companies, whatever it takes to live in washington because then I can make good pay and be happily close to princess, making enough $$ to save and retire soon after, staying fit and pretty and focusing on writing things from the world that’s been building in my mind’s eye for 5+ years now

i needed to write this down and it’s still not everything but it’s most of it

to include, “not everything” is largely “I don’t feel satisfied with the content of this post but it’s already so long” this is probably just going to be a summary of later posts on how fucked up my life has been from a personal standpoint

not to say that it’s the worst or anything like that

but it’s definitely not the best

i’m socially stupid/awkward and friends I’ve made in this program seem to keep being either in different spots than I am or being removed for various issues

also sorry not sorry for my first post on this blog in forever being complaints for far too long; that’s another thing i’m shitty at, because there are so many good muns out there that i practically abandoned talking to

[tysonthebitcher]

How not to look like a college freshman

“You’re a freshman, right?” You’re going to hear it a lot if you’re new to college. But you can avoid it. See, I don’t like stereotypes, but people generally can recognize freshmen at a glance. Freshmen just dress a certain way, period. But by listening to some sage advice, you might actually pass for not-so-green...until you open your mouth, of course, but that’s for a different article. Of course, like everything else you’re about to cram in your head for the next four years, you probably won’t listen. No, you’ll probably get called out for being an ignorant freshman a bunch of times. Then, you’ll run into this article again, look at yourself in the mirror, and say, “Damn, Mr. Internet guy was right.” But for the ten percent who will listen, here you go: 1. Chuck that lanyard out the fuckin window Warning: when you arrive, you will be given a lanyard with a dorm key attached. You will get it and think, “Hey, this is cool—it’s got my college name on it and everything.” You will want to feel proud. Resist this desire. The next time you find yourself near a trashcan, drop your lanyard into it. Do not hesitate, or risk looking greener then that kid who still wears his high school letterman jacket. 2. Don’t give on-campus bookstores your money. The blonde is a lie. (You’ll understand this statement soon.) There’s no other way to say this: the bookstores on campus are price-gouging criminals and the only people who don’t know this for a goddamn fact are the newest of the new. The people in these places do not give a fuck about you. They know you’re new. They want to exploit it. So they offer to pick out all your books based on your schedule, and shit the cute girl might even take you on a little tour and show you where all your books are. So nice, so convenient. You even will thank them by the end of it. They are fucking you, and you will thank them.  The smiling blonde? She is lying to you. Listen—I get it: you have a penis and this chick is being flirty and you’re new and it’s convenient, so you buy the books. You’re an idiot, but I understand. So if you do end up buying the books from them, at least absolutely do not sell it back to them. They’ll buy your books back? Maybe, and if so only at a small fraction of what you paid. Of course, you’re a drunk asshole freshman who needs money like most third-world people need water, so you’ll take whatever pittance they throw your way. And since you bought the books months ago, you will almost feel like you are getting free money. You aren’t. You just—aren’t. You’re getting fucked. If you’re actually ambitious enough to sell your books after school’s out, check out Chegg Buyback. They are one of the only places I’ve found that actually buy textbooks back at a good price. There are no blondes winking or giving you sultry looks, but they make it simple as shit to do and at times I found myself actually surprised at how much they offered. But if you want to go full retard in the first place, don’t buy the books from the goddamn bookstore. Either go through one of those places that lets you use the books you need and then give them back. Again, Chegg offers this in textbook rental and I’m sure some others do as well but Chegg was the main go-to for my dorm. You can do it hungover in your room and you can buy the books used or new, or you can rent them. If you had to buy a book new or used they will most likely buy it back at the end of the year with their buy back program.  Since Chegg isnt just selling books at one college, they actually can buy a lot more back to resell. They remind you before they are due, and you just drop them off with the postage they paid for and that’s it. But why were we buying textbooks to begin with again? I have never met anyone with a really badass textbook collection. Textbooks aren’t a status symbol like a new car. Just rent it, suck the knowledge out of it for long enough to pass your finals, then get rid of it. Just don’t go to the campus bookstore. The blonde does not like you. She never did. The blonde is a lie. 3. Don’t post things like “I love college” online It’s kind of crazy how quickly people realize they are living the best years of your life. And I mean, it makes sense: you can now party without having to tell your parents you’re sleeping over at your responsible friend’s house. You no longer have to ask your co-worker’s friend’s brother to buy you alcohol. Drugs and alcohol will be the easiest they ever have been to get your hands on—many times absolutely free.  You can now relate to those college drinking songs. But don’t post “I love college” to your Facebook or twitter. I mean, we get it. But everyone loves college. That’s like saying “I love having sex.” Everyone does, and the only people who announce it are first-timers. 4. Don’t drink Skol or Kamchatka. This is a big one. It’s a hard one too. Drinking Skol or Kamchatka is almost a freshman requirement. You will soon realize that you can get half gallons of shitty bottom-shelf vodka for $10.  You most likely will be drinking a lot, and you will probably be broke, so it will look like a good idea.  But just spend the extra couple dollars to get something better. These bottles of bum piss will leave you feeling extra hungover the next day. If you are at a party with people other then freshman, as soon as you bring the plastic bottle of skol out, people will gag. You’ll be embarrased as the people you thought were nice refuse to even make eye contact with you because they subjected themselves to the same liquid punishment when they were a freshman and now the sight of it makes them want to throw up. Of course, you can always put it in a water bottle like you did in high school.  But that is almost worse—then people will know you are underage. No one over 21, in the history of this earth, has ever thought, “Huh, I wonder if maybe this alcohol will taste better in a water bottle?” 5.   Get help when you need it. I honestly sucked at this one. Being at college you sometimes forget what you are really there to do: Get that degree.  After months of “loving college” and drinking your skol vodka I said not to drink, you will soon realize you are failing every class. To make it tougher, most classes don’t take attendance which makes going to class that much harder. Awesome, right? Wrong. Not awesome. Every morning you wake up—possibly for the first time in your life—without the threat of bad things happening if you don’t go to class. “Nah, I’ll just go to class.” Sure, buddy.   All of this sets up the perfect storm for an unfuckingbelievable amount of stress for your average college virgin. A ton of work, almost nil understanding, and everything on the line. Your stoner friend can’t help you, and the professor who hasn’t seen your face in months won’t want to help you, either. You will then remember seeing stuff about college tutors on campus.  But you’re lazy and don’t want to go (remember, that’s the whole reason you’re in this mess). Listen, I know: college tutors don’t care. They’re usually just students like you. Probably don’t even get paid—most are doing it for some dumb college credit and so just want your dumbass out the door. They’re probably as hungover as you. You have to make an appointment. You have to wear clothes. Ugh, right? Then, hooray, awkward chat with a stranger about a subject you’re failing! Thankfully for your lazy ass, you live in the magical world of the future where anything can be done online. There are a lot of online video-chat tutors. Again, I’d suggest to check out Chegg for their online tutoring. It seemed to be of a way higher quality than the dumbasses I ran into on campus, and –this is huge for me—you don’t even have to do video chat: you can be straight-up lazy, anti-social, and totally naked, and do a tutoring session through text chat. Best part I found about that is then everything is easily searchable—no panicking through scribbled notes, and no “walk of shame” out of the tutor’s office. 6. Don’t go home every weekend. ​I never really got this one. When I was a freshman I knew people that went back home all the time. You’ll probably find yourself moving back in with your parents after you graduate anyway I understand you will feel homesick. It is normal to want go back home. College is a big change, and at times you will feel lost or anxious.  Going home is comfortable and familiar, but save that for the holidays.  Because here’s some real talk that you’ll realize after the first time you go home: I promise you, you will be bored after 2 hours, and have to hear about all the stuff you missed from your smart friends who didnt go home..   College is the best years of your life. Everyone says it. It’s true.  Don’t run away when things get tough. Embrace it all. All those feelings will be cherished one day.  You’ll be looking back after you graduate and wishing you could just have one extra day in that college bubble, free from real problems and real life. So fuck home for now—go spark up a conversation with Cute Blonde Girl from the campus bookstore when she gets off shift at eight and see what happens. Maybe she really did like you after all.

[sierra-grace1227]

Boy X Boy- Part 1

*Ring Ring Ring* I heard as I got up from my first period seat, god how I love school. Did that even sound remotely believable? Probably not, but I mean who enjoys school anyways. Today is the 2nd day in April, meaning there was only this month and the next till summer. I am a senior so this is my last year. I was at the entrance to the classroom door when I heard Mrs. Green yell "Caleb, come here for one moment please!" I turned to the short woman, she was tiny but fierce if you piss her off enough. Basically she told me that my grades are the top of the class again, like always. I hate school but I have to have good grades or else my parents will kill me and I will not be able to graduate.  When she is finished talking I leave and as I walk to my 2nd period, I bump into some kid who is a head shorter than me, chocolate brown eyes that are just so innocent and hypnotic, and soft pink, plump lips that I could just kis... wait am I staring to hard? Shit, he probably thinks I'm creepy now. Anyways, my name is Caleb and I am 17 years old; I am also gay and still have not told my parents who just think I am just really shy to the point where I do not talk to girls besides my twin best friends Andria and Audrey Cooper, plus my bestest friend Naveah Redstone. I'll explain later, back to present time. I held out my hand for him to take and he graciously accepted. "Thanks, my name is Adrian but you probably already knew that since i'm in your 3rd period. I'm the football team's quarterback." "I'm Caleb, I don't do sports but I do photography and chorus. I know it's not impressive but, I really don't mind since it's my last year anyways. I am just glad to get out of here. Also, yes I know. Wait, not in a creepy way but like cause they call role call and I hear your name and I always pay attention... I should just stop talking now. Sorry." "It's okay, I know what you mean and same. School is basically hell in disguise." he laughed out. God his laugh is perfect and husky. His smile is blindingly white. How can one human being be so flawless? "Hello?" I was snapped out of my daze when he spoke so suddenly. "Huh? I'm uh... I'm... I'm fine. Sorry, I need to get to 2nd period the second bell is probably about to ring." He just said a quiet okay and went his own way too. Skipping over second period and 10 minutes of third, I felt a paper ball hit the back of my head. Are you serious, who is that childish to throw paper. That is like elementary or middle school, not senior year. I turn around to find the guilty party, only to see a smiling Adrian. He mouthed 'read the note' so I did "Hey, you seem chill so I was wondering if you wanted to sit with my friends and I at lunch. We sit at the elevated area of tables right by the lunch line exit.-Adrian" I turned around and mouthed yes before turning back and staring at the clock for the next 10 minutes. Right at the end of the 1st part of the lesson before lunch, the teacher turned explaining the last section of the lesson for the first half to everyone before yelling "Caleb, are you paying attention?!" "Yes ma'am I'm listening." "What did I just say then?" "Martin Luther King Jr. was a civil rights activist who wanted peace and equality for all which he made known with his I have a Dream speech on August 28, 1963 on the steps of Lincoln Memorial. He died fighting for his beliefs but his efforts continued through others who were inspired by his work and wanted to commemorate to his death by continuing his work to break down the walls of racial controversy that still remained in that period of time. Dr. King is the reason and inspiration for the world we have today, because of his determination everyone despite color may join together as he said " at the table of brotherhood" He was one of the many activists who made a change in the world such as Gandhi and Nelson Mandela." It was all silent when I finished while the teacher just looked in shock but quickly regained her composure and stated "I never said some of those facts" "No you didn't, however your job as a teacher is to thoroughly explain in detail of the topic that is being taught and I am just simply going over what you failed to due to your lack of knowledge or just plainly cause you do not care. Whichever way I do not care either. Now if you will excuse me I shall be leaving to lunch in 3...2....1...*Riiiiiiinnnnnngggg*  "Teachers, at this time please release all 12th grade students to the lunch room at this time. I repeat, Teachers release all of your 12th grade students at this time." "Goodbye." I walked out of that classroom while I heard many screaming about how I told her and many other ignorant terms were thrown but I do not care for them. I allowed Adrian to catch up and I sat with him and his group at lunch. We sat there talking but his friends teased him asking if I was his new boy toy, which I was confused about. "Uhm, yeah. I'm gay so they always mess with me if I bring another guy with me. Sorry, if that's too weird for you." "No no no! It's fine, i'm actually gay too and I also didn't want to tell you for the same reason; for fear of being looked down upon or thought of differently." He just smiled and told me that he thinks we will get along quite well then.   *Time skip to three months later* Adrian and I have gotten much closer now, we keep flirting with each other but neither of us makes the move to ask the other one out. I'm not sure if he wants to date or he is just very playful and flirty but it doesn't mean anything. We are currently at my house when I hear "Caleb!" "Yeah?!" All of the sudden, Aiden just jumps on top of me and tackles me into the couch. He straddles me while looking me into the face and says "Question, imma be straight forward with you. Do you like me... like more than a friend? Cause my friends keep telling me that but I wanted to ask you directly. If you do it's fine." I started blushing and I knew it cause my face felt hotter. I probably look like a tomato right now. I muttered a quiet "yes" and kept looking anywhere but him. I felt him grab the sides of my face, the next thing I knew was his lips were on mine. They were so soft and plump, and moved perfectly against mine. God it felt like heaven, but if this is a dream then don't wake me up please. We continued to kiss passionately till we both ran out of breath, despite my hard breathing I loved every second his lips were on mine- molding together and moving in perfect harmony. When he regained his breath he said " Will you be my boyfriend?" I grasped the back of his neck and pushed my lips against his once more, he responded almost immediately. "God, I can never get enough of you Caleb. Your like a drug, and you have me under your hypnotic and addictive spell that I can't forget. You have no idea how many times at lunch whenever we talked, I just stared at your lips. Just wanting to taste them, bite them, kiss them, claim them with my own. Now I finally have and you don't even realize how happy I am right now." "I'm glad I make you happy Adrian." I continued to cuddle with him on the couch till we both fell asleep. *Another time skip to 7 months later* Once again I came in late, way to much homework, I am a college freshman now and started 3 months ago. This school year has actually been good, I am still dating Adrian and we are doing steadily good. He is very loving and caring and I try my best to act the same way also. As I get lost in my thoughts, they are interrupted when Aiden taps my shoulder when i'm daydreaming. "I got accepted to Princeton! Aren't you proud of me?!" I'm happy he got accepted except he will be 2 hours and 26 min away since we live in Baltimore Maryland now since I got accepted to St. Hopkins University. Yes I did my research when he told me he applied, I was worried. "I'm happy for you and I'm proud." "I swear I won't let distance affect us, okay?" "Okay." That was 3 months ago that he promised me that and Yet two months after that he called me and wanted to break it off because he disliked the distance and he found other guys who are better and closer to him. Really? He was two hours away and couldn't make the effort to drive here at least one weekend every month. I tried to go down to him because I wanted it to work, but everytime he said he had to much work to do when in reality he had to many guys to screw behind my back while I was being faithful to him because I really loved him. To top that off my mom died from cancer a few days before he broke up with me and my dad died last week from depression and overdosing. Did I forget to mention that I have no siblings and all my friends went to different locations that are way to far from me. The Cooper twins are in France because of guys and shopping and Naveah is in Cali trying to make a name for herself since she always wanted to be a singer. My depression has also came back, which it's reappearance can be blamed on everything. Aiden helped me without even knowing it but now that's all over and I've resorted back to cutting away my sorrows. Ever since my mom's death and the breakup then my grades dropped, which got even worse when my dad died. I know cutting is a terrible way and I've tried getting help but nothing works. It's like my addiction that I know I need to stop but I just can't because it's the only thing that keeps me going day by day without actually killing myself. But now, I'm just thinking to hell with it all. I don't fucking care anymore, if no one else cares then I won't either. I go up to my bathroom and grab a blade out of the drawer under the sink and fill the bathtub with cold water before sitting myself in it, clothes and all. I began cutting with every thought I had, I am nothing, I'm pathetic, I'm worthless, I am a waste of space and air, I am disgusting, I am the worst son and boyfriend ever, I am a mistake, I wasn't meant to be in this world besides for torture, I deserve the pain, I'm all alone now, I have no one, No boyfriend or parents, no siblings or friends, no one And I deserve it. I am an outcast, a freak, a depressed soul who just couldn't escape their demons inside, no one to help conquer them, no one to put the broken pieces of me back together. Even I can't. "I'm sorry for being born." I whispered as I sliced my throat open, submerging my head under water. I could feel my lungs burning for oxygen but I ignored it as my world went dark, my body went numb, and my hearing faded out.